#I’ve wasted countless hours of my life on trying to make night scenes from the pacific into remotely presentable gifs

[rockpaperscissuhs]

Band of Brothers Episode 5: Crossroads

for HBO WWII Rewatch: Week 10 - Black

[stuckybarton]

Before You Go [One Shot]

SUMMARY: Ransom Hugh Drysdale has finally done it, his greed had come to bite him in the ass and he was now facing life without parole. Gone was the arrogant trust fund grandson, now a man that had nothing remained. Behind an orange jumpsuit and a lifetime to reflect how his world comes crashing down from his own doing. He has come into terms with his action, but someone comes back in his life to see him before she goes live her life again without him. [Post-Knives Out AU]

WARNING: Slight Profanities(?) Not Beta’d

CHARACTERS: Ransom Drysdale x Future Ex Wife!FOC [unnamed]

WORDS: 1881

A/N: The ending of this is so ugh! i don't like how it ends, but yeah.

Years of knowing one Ransom Drysdale, the years of hating him, loving him, and marrying him. To see him in this predicament was by far the last thing she would have ever believed to would happen to her husband--ex-husband as soon as she could get his signature of the Divorce Papers. This man in a horrible orange jumpsuit and horrible workers boots was not her husband.

"What have you done, Ran?" she questioned finally sitting in front of him.

Ransom and the rest of his family still had a sway in the powers above and here they both sat. Alone, with only three correctional officers watching over them, listening with intrigue as the man had finally had a visitor that he approved of. Sitting in a metal chair that creaked as most of her weight rested on the back, she was led to wonder more about this moment, how could this happen to him, how could he let himself go into the deep end like this.

"What I needed to do." he shrugged, gone was the arrogance in his stance, no longer did he have a snide remark or a comeback. She was left to watch the glory of her lover now turn into ashes. Ransom Drysdale had finally come to accept his fate behind the steel bars.

Her hands clenched as she rested them on her lap, the hard folder that rested on top of it already burning her. This was one of the reasons she came here. To find her closure and live the life he could never give her. The Thrombey-Drysdale Clan were dysfunctional in every sense of the word, in all her years of knowing them and having to interact with them, they were the most vile and cruel family she had ever been associated with. It made her wonder, if that very family was the cause of what came to be known as Ransom, the black sheep that never truly had the love and support of his parents--desperate for money that he forced to make ends meet, even with lives were on the line, his grandfather's life being on the line.

She sighed, eyes skimming the white painted room. The lack of windows and sunlight brought a more harrowing scene before her.

Turning her attention back to her husband, there was this look on his eyes that she has never seen before. The emptiness in his blue hues breaks her heart more than she would ever admit.

Had this been her fault? Was she not strong enough for the two of them and this was what it led to? Ransom thrown into jail and she was empty with the ghost of what could have been. But then again, it had been his own doing why she had to go. She couldn't bare to see him like this, to live a life of a bachelor while she waited at him, stagnation had been the plague that had her leave and never come back.

"You weren't out of the country when there was a Will Reading with the attorney?" He inquired eyes finally landing right back at her. The same blue eyes now turned back to her.

"I left because of money, I wanted nothing out of your Grandfather's money, and having me in the same room as those assholes you call your family would only prove their point." she spat. Why was he questioning something he knew very well the answer to. "I was in California, just got partnered and I'm in the process of moving everything I own cross country." she admits.

"So that's why you're here?" he inquire. "Here to gloat? Tell me once again you've regret marrying as arrogant prick like me."

Taking a deep breath, she counted to ten. A mantra her therapist had said when dealing with Ransom, dealing with him putting words in her mouth. One of the many reasons why they fell apart and constant misery had laid waste in their marriage and in what was left of their relationship.

"I just want to know why you had to do this? Why did it have to come to this? Money wouldn't have been a problem for the two of us. We're set for life, my parents are ready to give the company to us, all they wanted was a grandchild. That was all they ever wanted from the two of us."

The argument that had been constant in their life was her wanting to have child and Ransom being unable to let go of his lavish bachelor lifestyle. They loved each other, she had hoped and prayed that will never stop, but their priorities weren't set straight, more so Ransom. She couldn't allow herself to constantly clean up his messes, deal with his horrible family, and juggle the responsibility thrown at her by her parents for her own future. She just gave in, their relationship became collateral because of it. The fact that he didn't make an effort only proves where their relationship stood.

"So what did you do instead of being my husband?" she inquired. "You slept with countless of women behind my back." The way his eyes finally broke from her own stare made it more evident of the betrayal the man had done to her. "You have proven to my parents over and over again why I don't deserve someone like you."

This wasn't the reason why she was here, but Ransom was making it so hard to control herself, to stop the emotions from spilling out of her resolve. This will be the last time she see him before she moves on with her life. With shaky hands she placed the folder towards him. Eyes finally falling towards his hands that took hold of the document at hand.

"I want a divorce, Ransom. I should have done this years ago, I was just too stupid to think you'd try to make this work."

She watched him read through the papers, each paper cemented what she had tried her best to convince him of. It was never the money.

"You're giving me what Harlan gave you in his inheritance?" Ransom questioned.

She didn't need to be part of the will reading to know the circus that Harlan had made, giving most of his assets to Martha, and a portion of it was given to her. It was no chump change. Blood Like Wine Publishing was under her name, and the harassment she had to endure because of the Thrombey-Drysdale family was not worth it. This was her only solution.

"You think the old man's lawyer would allow that to happen?" he snorts. "He wrote us all off on his will. There are fine prints on them that even I can't be bothered to read anymore."

"I know." she confirmed. "Harlan had stated that if I were to divorce one Hugh Ransom Drysdale, for whatever reason I may have, the Publishing House, and the entirety of his copyright catalogue with return to the rightful owner, to his grandson, no one else."

How the gears were now turning in his head. He has come to realize that everything that he had done was for nothing. The inheritance was still his had he made the right decision all this time. Now here he was, to rot in jail for who knows how long and the stagnation that was to come for the inheritance he was too consumed in taking for himself.

"Why not keep it then?"

"Like I told you, it's never about the money." she sighed turning her attention towards one of the guards, with his head jerking towards his watch, she knew she didn't have much time left. "I gave you everything but as much as I know Harlan's legacy would be in my good hands, if it means having to be forever your wife, I'd rather have nothing that is smeared with your family name anymore."

"You know I did love you."

"Well it wasn't enough for you to keep it in your pants."

"So that's it. Once I sign, it's game over for the two of us?"

Deep breaths. She keep telling herself to take deep, measure breaths. It wasn't worth it to stoop down to his level anymore.

"It's been over for far too long, Ransom. For once, just this once, do this for me. Let me go. I want to be happy, away from you, away from your family, and away from the memory that I can't look at my husband without remembering all of the women I've seen in our home."

That was it, the first line of tears fell from her cheeks and she was a mess. Pleading over and over for him to sign the Divorce papers and the transfer of ownership of the Publishing house to him. In what felt like hours, the sound of pen on paper had overpowered her sob, each line that needed his signature he had signed. The stone face he had could fool no one, not even her. Everything was falling apart for him.

As soon as the folder had closed, he tried leaning towards her, to which she leaned away. She had been tricked by him and his charms countless of times, but this time she will not allow it. She's already done so much, she couldn't see herself wasting it all over again for him. In one swift motion, she had slid the folder away from his hold and taking the pen with her.

She stood, wiping the last remaining tears from her eyes as she tried to compose herself.

"You're free now, Ransom. You've got the money you've always wanted, but you've lost me, you've lost the one last person that had always saw the best in you. I hope you can sleep at night knowing that."

He smirked, the bravado was back. Blue eyes twinkled, but it was far too dim from what he usually had.

"Eat shit, Ex-wife."

She nodded, acceptance finally caving in. This was for the best. For herself and for the life she had made for herself without him in it. Nodding towards the guards, they had now escorted Ransom back to his cell, but he halted just inch from the door.

"Before you go, Babe." he called out. "We could have made it work, if you just fucking saw they weren't anything to me. I never slept with any of them, I didn't even kiss any of them. I always thought I could, break your heart and all that, hoping to make you see that I'm just like what my family said I was."

"And you succeeded, congratulations Ransom. You're even worse that your family for doing this to me."

"I have a different way of loving."

"Yeah well, hope you enjoy the money, Ran. Heard you can bring a few hookers here from time to time. Make the most out of it from me will you."

"Yes Ma'am."

With one last look at her, he followed the guards back to his cell. Leaving her alone with the finality she had always needed in her life. No longer was she chained to him and no longer was she bound to the toxicity of his dysfunctional family. She was free, and that was all she ever wanted.

[heliads]

One to Another

When Bucky Barnes arrives at S.H.I.E.L.D. headquarters, he wasn’t expecting to meet an agent who had a similar past to him. However, their shared experience of being held by HYDRA will bring them together.

masterlist

Bucky surveys the room, his sharp gaze sweeping from corner to corner of the S.H.I.E.L.D. headquarters at the Avengers Tower. Agents are scattered about, conversing in hushed tones or doing their best to pretend they’re working on critical tasks whilst secretly checking out the two Avengers by the door. A motley crew, but S.H.I.E.L.D.’s been helpful in tracking down HYDRA, so Bucky bites his tongue instead of lashing out at them.

Next to him stands Steve Rogers, Bucky’s childhood friend turned overly patriotic brother-in-arms. Steve can’t help a grin at Bucky’s surly expression. “Okay, I know most of them seem a little young or easily distracted, but they’re not as incompetent as they look.” Bucky grumbles under his breath. “They had better not, or they’ll have wasted all of their funding on new recruits for nothing.” Bucky’s eye catches on a solitary figure in the back, poised against a wall. She seems to be the only one here who actually might know what they’re doing.

Bucky jerks his chin at the silent woman in the back. “Who’s she?” Steve sighs. “That’s Agent Y/N L/N. Best in her year, and probably all the other years, by far. Trouble is, her high standing caught HYDRA’s attention, and she got captured and tortured by them for a long time about a month or so back. Hasn’t really rejoined the rest of these chatterboxes since.”

Steve lets his words sink in for a moment, then, not wanting to linger on the unpleasant topic, claps his hands together. “Right, well, we have an interrogation to get through. HYDRA Agent Donovan is waiting for us in the holding block a few doors down. Oh, and L/N’s going to be joining us for the interrogation. She wants to see if he knows anything about the thugs who captured her.” Bucky nods once and the two men walk to the holding cell, joined by a silent Y/N, who falls in step next to them when they pass by her.

The holding cell itself is desolately empty, save for a chair with a man chained to it. There are strong restraints holding him in place, and the man himself looks as greasy and unkempt as a classic movie villain. Beside Bucky, Y/N’s gaze becomes steely the second she sees the HYDRA agent, evidently recognizing him. 

Steve pulls out a manila file folder and starts addressing the man, occasionally checking the notes in the folder as necessary. “Robert Donovan, we know you worked for HYDRA for many years. Tell us everything about the October incident.” The man just laughs, showing his teeth. “You think I’m going to talk to you? I don’t waste my time with nationalist toy soldiers.” 

The man suddenly stares at Y/N, a grin sliding over his face when he sees her. “Well, look who it is! If it isn’t Miss Y/N L/N.” He leans forward as Y/N remains silent. “You know, we got to host you a while back. Wasn’t that funny, that we had you there for months and months and nobody ever-” 

The man is cut off as Y/N briskly pulls a gun from her hip and fires it once at his chest. The man slumps forward, and then does not move again. Y/N looks up at Steve and Bucky, taking in their incredulous stares. “It’s just a tranquilizer. He’ll wake up again, unfortunately.” With that, she strides impassively out of the holding cell.

Bucky moves to follow her, but Steve steps in front of him. “You don’t want to go there, Buck. She’ll want some space.” Bucky shakes his head. “I’ve been there before, a prisoner of HYDRA. I know how it feels, and I know that the last thing she wants is to be alone right after having to face the memories of what they did to her.” Steve gives Bucky one last questioning look, then steps aside and lets him pass.

Y/N is standing out on a balcony, staring out into the New York skyline. She doesn’t move when Bucky comes to stand next to her, just starts to speak quietly. “I’m surprised you came after me. Most of them want to avoid me. They’re too scared that if they start a conversation, they’ll have to face what they did to me.”

Bucky glances at her, then looks back at the view before them. “It was like that for me too, when I first became an Avenger. I don’t think I’ll ever truly be an Avenger, no one really trusts me enough for that. When I first started working with the others, it was like people wanted to make sure I was alright but maintain enough of a distance that they could leave without too much damage.”

Y/N sighs. “I thought I was fine. I thought I had a firm enough handle on things, but the second he started talking it was like I was back in the center of HYDRA control once more.” Bucky nods slowly. “One ex-HYDRA prisoner to another? It never goes away. You’ll always see signs of what happened, and you’ll always remember. The only thing you can do about it is try and move on, or take steps to make sure it never happens again.”

Y/N leans forward, folding her hands around the cold metal of the balcony railing. “I was afraid that was true.” She turns to look at Bucky for the first time. “You don’t really know the full story of what happened to me, do you?” At Bucky’s shaken head, she nods. “I’m not sure how many people really do.” She clears her throat once, and begins to speak.

“Everyone says that my capture was an accident, brought on by a squad of enemy agents storming my house or something. It’s not true-I was betrayed by my own fellow agents. I was working late at S.H.I.E.L.D. one night, and about a dozen of my coworkers were there. They were all people I’d known for a long time, and trusted with my life. The second there weren’t any witnesses, they swarmed me and knocked me out with some kind of chloroform. I took out a lot of them, but there were just too many and I wasn’t expecting an attack from my friends.”

“When I woke up, I was in a HYDRA facility. I was questioned and tortured for S.H.I.E.L.D. secrets for months. They placed a ransom for my safe return at the beginning of my stay, but no one ever responded to it. They knew I was there, and they knew they could get me back, but no one at S.H.I.E.L.D. thought it was worth their time. It’s a dangerous thing, to know their secrets, and I suppose S.H.I.E.L.D. thought it would be cleaner to just have HYDRA kill me rather than bring me out of there.”

“Eventually, S.H.I.E.L.D. broke into the building to rescue another of their agents, and happened to find me along the way. I hadn’t told a single one of their secrets, and had protected S.H.I.E.L.D. until the end. I wish I could say the same for them. Ever since I got out, I haven’t let myself get close to anyone here. I was captured by my friends, and I just keep thinking that it could happen again. Any one of these people in the room could be seconds away from bringing me back to HYDRA.”

She finishes talking, and Bucky stands there in silence for a moment. “Why did you go back to S.H.I.E.L.D.? You knew they didn’t protect you.” Y/N lets out a bitter laugh. “There is no retiring from S.H.I.E.L.D. Especially not after this. The only way you leave is with a bullet in your skull, either by your enemies or your higher-ups.”

Bucky lets out a low whistle. “You’re not alone, you know. We just met, but I want you to know you’ve got an ally if you want one. I don’t care how long it takes you to trust me, just know that I’m here.” Y/N lets a slight smile cross her face. “I think I already do trust you. Not even my closest friends know what happened, and here I am telling you, a man I met about ten minutes ago.” The two of them smile, and talk for a little longer before Steve calls them back into the interrogation room.

Later that night, Bucky is trapped in another nightmare. He keeps seeing the same scenes over and over again- the doctor, speaking to him when Bucky woke up for the first time with a metal arm. Being brainwashed. The last moments of consciousness before the ice froze his world into nothingness. Then, that feeling of losing all control and having to watch as he killed innocents, his own body slaughtering countless people all while he screamed silently from the darkest corners of his own mind.

When Bucky wakes up in a cold sweat, blankets thrown back around him, he still can’t tell if he’s in the nightmare or not. His heart is pounding, a pulsing drum that won’t stop echoing in his ears. Dazedly, he gets up, pulling on a light jacket and stumbling down the hallway.

He can’t go back to bed, too afraid of what he’ll see when he closes his eyes, and so Bucky slowly makes his way into the central living room of the Avengers Tower. He stares around him at the darkened room, which should be so familiar yet feels like he’s never seen it before.

���Come stand by the window.”

Bucky’s head flies up at the sound of the voice, but he forces himself to relax as he recognizes the shadowy figure standing at the far side of the room. It’s Y/N. Just Y/N. It’s fine.

Bucky walks slowly over to her, looking out at the city, which is busy even at these hours of the night. Y/N’s eyes flicker over him understandingly. “It’s better if you can see the city. It’s better if you can see where you are.” Bucky glances at her, confused. “What?” His voice sounds scratchy and exhausted, but Y/N just gestures back out the window before them.

“For the nightmares. When you wake up and you can’t tell what’s real and what’s not. When you look out the window, you can see the whole world before you. That’s how you know it’s not made up by HYDRA. No matter how detailed their simulations are, they can’t make up this specific view, or every car and person in this city. If you can see the world, and it looks right, you know you’re back in real life.”

Bucky lets her words wash over him in a comforting wave. She’s right. “Thank you.” He mumbles, and she leans her head against him. “Hey, one brainwashed soldier to another. We have to stick together, right?” Bucky lets out a hoarse laugh. “Who else do we have?”

He’s not sure how long they stay like that, his arm wrapped loosely around her and her head lolling against his side, but he does know that he clings to her like she’s the only thing in the world he can depend on.

[mintvender]

UTOPIA [ 4 ]

Pairing: BTS x Y/N

Synopsis: Y/N L/N, the name of the current monarch of Corea. They became the ruler after successfully ending the previous king along with the dynasty as well. In their harem, countless men are present to help balance the court’s power. However, is this truly their intentions? The palace was always a place that needs to be proceeded with caution but as time goes by, recklessness would most likely outweigh it. You found yourself unable to prosper the kingdom without being too connected to it.

HaremAu!

Warning: Killings, slight gore

Word Count: 6.2k

A/n: Whew, finally finished with this chapter. Apologies for being late but at least it’s out now. Feedback or word of encouragement is always welcome. Enjoy 🌿

Masterlist

Soundlessly dodging the dozens of spikes obtruding from the hefty branches above, you continued your trek down the valley. Careful to not alert any unwanted guests, you tucked your sword under your left arm while gently swatting the branches that were hindering your view with the other.

Like losing your vision, everything surrounding you was pitch black. Even if anyone were to stand right in front of you, chances are that you wouldn’t even be able to see the lightest speck of color. Fortunately, with your oil lamp, you have prevented another candidate of wanting your life.

To be honest, you must admit that having to travel through this particular part at night was not the wisest decision. However, with precious time gnawing at your throat, travelling through the night would have to do.

Knowing how much time has been wasted, you couldn’t let the slight burning sensation resulting from your cuts hinder your way, especially with how dangerous it currently is...

… and that you’ve lost your entire group.

In a moment of chaos, you and the rest of the group got separated. With adrenaline wracking your body, you remembered looking into Taehyung’s terrified eyes before he was dragged by Panther in the opposite direction.

A pack of wolves had invaded your group from above, dividing you guys into two fractions. Knowing that you had a better chance of dealing with it, you prompted to lure it towards your direction.

Just by glancing your way, Panther knew what you were hinting. Quickly grabbing Taehyung and Namjoon, he swiftly pulled them towards him and into the trees, safely shielding them from the ongoing attack and began to go the opposite way.

Meanwhile, you were fully engaged in the battle. With your sword unsheathe, you charged forward, taking the offense role.

Dodging at the canines that were aiming at your neck, you took the opportunity to swing your sword, successfully getting rid of one.

A dozen more to go.

Backing away from the pack, you quickly took off your cloak, throwing it aimlessly at the floor. Tightening your grip on the sword, you let out a frightening grin underneath your mask.

It’s been a while since I’ve spilt this much blood.

Standing still, you made no move to attack, taking the defensive role, and patiently waited.

Looking into the largest wolf’s eyes, you proudly showed off your arrogance, challenging its dominance and control.

As if provoked by your provocation, it began to run towards you, aiming at your neck. As soon as the wolf made their move, you thrust your sword towards it, blood quickly coating your sword. Letting out a pained howl, it retreated, falling back behind the walls of its pack.

However, amidst your victorious moment, a wolf managed to sneak behind you, leaping onto you and aggressively tore down your flesh.

Jolting at the sudden sensation, you let out a hissed, your stance faltering with its weight. Trying your best to maintain your ground, you stuck your sword into the wolf, ripping it away from your bloodied arm. Kicking the wolf that had approached you, you continue your massacre.

After getting rid of a few more, your wrecked body was greeted with a wave of exhaustion. Wavering at the abuse your body has gone through, you dismissed the desperate signs that your body was producing to remove yourself from the situation. Instead, you were quite proud of your accomplishments, glad that you have shown multiple examples to the remaining wolves.

After you had injured the largest wolf, their Alpha, you noticed how each wolf became much more hesitant than the last when attacking you.

Looking at your bloodied sword, you ripped a part of your tattered shirt and wiped off the blood from your face as well as your sword, before carefully sheathing it.

Looking back to the wolves that were surrounding their Alpha, you began to make your way towards them. As you approached, you noticed their slightly cowered positioned along with the pained whimpers coming from the Alpha. Next to it, there lies another wolf, who you presumed was the Luna, was licking the Alpha’s eyes.

Grimacing at its wounded eye that was caused by you, you ripped off another piece of fabric.

Closing the space between you and the pack, the wolves continue to shake under your watchful eyes. However, you ignored that and brought your hands around the half-blinded wolf’s head.

Failing to scare you off with its growls, it could only helplessly lie there while you tie the cloth around its head, applying pressure to prevent it from losing any more blood.

You were pleasantly surprised by how compliant all the wolves were. None of them, even the younger ones, have attacked you when you were taking care of their Alpha.

They must have understood my intentions.

Rising up from your knees, you painfully headed back to grab your cloak. Putting it back on, you pulled the hood up to fully cover your hair. Picking up the lamp you previously set down, you were about to leave and search for your group, you felt something limply gnawing on your pants.

Turning around, you saw the giant wolf chewing on your pants. Not knowing what to say, you made some attempts to yank your pants away but to simply no avail.

He still has strength… What does he want?

Thankfully, when the wolf receives your attention, it detaches itself from you. However, it continues to surprise you when it settled itself in front of you, sitting on its bottom. Soon after, the others began to approach you both and follow in suit.

They only do that when they…

Grinning widely at their actions, you patted the Alpha’s head to show your approval. Kneeling down to its ear, you silently whispered to the wolf before standing up. Glancing over to the rest of the wolves, you ended up meeting Luna's eyes. Boring their eyes into yours, you couldn’t help but shuddered at how intense it is. However, you understood what she had put out and will definitely respect that.

Looking into the Alpha’s eyes on last time, you silently bided them before turning around and headed to your next destination.

I have a feeling that we will meet again.

After trudging out of their sight, your body faltered against the tree nearby. Releasing a heavy breath, you looked around, finding nothing but trees and darkness. As expected, this particular part looked almost identical to any other part, making you unable to decipher your exact location under the haze of exhaustion.

However, what you were thankful for was how the forest is set up.

From an outsider’s view, it might just be like any other group of trees. However, to you and many others, the Midnight Forest is your home, deeply rooted into your blood and flesh, passing from one generation to another. Even before the initial fame, your clan has already been living and protecting this precious land, knowing its true value better than anyone else.

As a result, you knew the principles of the layout. As long as you reach the Crescent Pond, you would be able to live another day, and hopefully the others will as well.

With that in mind, you shakily lift your lantern up and head to where you hoped they were.

Unlike your previous state, your muscles ached with the slightest movement. Gritting your teeth to stay conscious, you still continued despite the obvious signs of a major blood loss.

Careful to not produce any unneeded sounds, you find yourself breathing heavier as you continues on, getting harder to cover them up. However, just the thought of attracting another batch of carnivores because of you accidentally tripping over a rock, and falling down has made your mouth dried up incredibly.

You definitely would be the prey this time around.

With another motivation, you quicken your steps, awkwardly jogging forward, but nevertheless continuing to enter the depth of the Midnight Forest.

Crescent Pond… you guys have to be there.

As you continue to walk further to what you assume was the center, you had a feeling that the moon is currently at its highest peak, meaning that you only have a few hours left until you were in a bigger mess.

Flinching at the single stray of light that entered your vision, you unconsciously stammered back, not used to the light. However, you were vibrating from the joyous feeling boiling from your core.

Finally, you’ve arrived at the Crescent Pond.

Because of its crescent shape, and the only place where moonlight can shine through, it was one of the easiest and safest places beside the center.

There was even an insider proclamation that as long as you reach the pond and know the principle, it is guaranteed that you will arrive at the center alive. You normally wouldn’t succumb to those ignorant claims, but right now, it seems to be the option. Hopefully, your desires were strong enough to manifest it.

Taking a few moments to get used to the illuminated scene, you noticed how nothing had seemed to change. The pond itself was as mesmerizing as you have remembered, glistening with the moonlight.

Relocating yourself against a nearby rock, you drowsily slumped to the ground, too tired to bother how dirty you will be. With that particular jolt, your knees immediately unbuckle and down you went.

Groaning at your unpleasant descent, adrenaline began to leave your body, knowing that you’re safe for now. Animals, especially nocturnals won’t attack you as long as you’re here, afraid of the light that would hinder their vision.

Setting your attention on your wound, the bandage that you have wrapped was soaking wet. Grimacing at the sight, you were reminded of the pain that knocked your breath out.

It seemed as though you made it worse from the constant use of it during your way here. Letting out a small smile, you rest to the best of your ability and waited for the arrival of your companion.

“ You better get here fast, Panther. I’m dying from the pain here just waiting for you guys.”

☁️ ☁️ ☁️ ☁️ ☁️ ☁️ ☁️

“ Let me go!” Taehyung yelled out, struggling to escape Panther’s hold, “ I have to go back and help them!”

Pulling the grown man towards him, Panther steadily lead the way with Namjoon following behind, seemingly in a daze.

“ Queen, you know that you will only hinder Phoenix's way by being there.”

Flinching at the harsh statement that pulled him back to reality, Taehyung stopped his scuffling yet still remained in Panther’s hold. Contorting his face in discontent at the helpless feeling, tears started to accumulate in his eyes. Trying to contain the waterfall, Taehyung quietly got out of Panther’s hold, avoiding eye contact with any of them.

Despite wearing a mask, Panther could tell how frustrated Taehyung was but ultimately ignored it, deciding it would be best for him to be alone.

Walking in absolute silence, the pair continued to follow Panther, not knowing where they headed to.

Namjoon, who had finally snapped out of his haze, looked towards Taehyung, before giving him a gentle pat on the shoulder as comfort.

Securing his grip on his lamp, he was reminded of your comment to not let go no matter what happened. And right now, that was what he is clinging to, a tiny thread of hope.

Blinking slowly, Namjoon let out a shaking breath, still not over what had just happened. However, he does have an idea where Panther is headed to.

“ We’re going to the Crescent Pond, aren’t we?”

Not glancing back, Panther replied, “ We are. It’s the only area in the forest that has light.”

Namjoon nodded, agreeing with Panther, “ Y/N would also be there I’m assuming.”

At the mention of Y/n, Taehyung perked up and slowly tuned into the conversation, hopeful of getting to see you again.

“ If the plan goes as expected, they should be there after dealing with the wolves.”

Scowling at Panther’s comment, Taehyung hisses out, “ Planned out? If this was planned out then why did those wolves attack us? Why are we even here in the middle of the night?”

“ Careful, Queen,” Panther warned, “ You should know that we couldn’t prevent this from happening. For the latter question, go ask the Master yourself.”

Recoiling at his tone, Taehyung immediately shut his mouth, knowing that it was true. Even if he wanted to complain, he would not dare to speak so rashly in front of the Master, himself.

Hopelessly sighing at Taehyung’s impulsiveness, Namjoon redirected the conversation to the current situation.

“ How far until we reach the pond?”

“ We should reach the pond in half an hour if everything goes smoothly,” Panther said.

Nodding at his words, Taehyung and Namjoon fastened their pace, wanting to close the gap between them and you.

Seeing their urgency, Panther quietly whispered, “ Phoenix will be fine. They’ve been doing this for years. Besides, they’re the child of the Crimson branch’s head. They’ve been trained for this.”

Agreeing with Panther’s comment, Taehyung relaxed at the thought of Y/n being alive.

Content for different reasons, the trio hurriedly scurried towards their destination.

☁️ ☁️ ☁️ ☁️ ☁️ ☁️ ☁️

Leaning your head against the rock, you pondered, “ When will they come?”

For what you have presumed was half an hour of tormenting your tattered body, your eyes began to feel heavy, lazily drooping to follow the call of dreamland.

However, you knew that chances of you not waking up would probably outweigh the other if you ever give into the temptation. As a result, you had to humour yourself with the eerie surrounding.

Taking into the dead silent trees, one would have assumed that the forest held no life if it wasn’t for the starved creatures waiting for their prey.

You, of course wasn’t fooled, especially after just dealing with those rogue wolves.

Though, if one were to observe a little more, the slight swish of the leaves as it dances along with the wind held a tempting invitation to enter the forestry maze, and never leave it. You must admit that the forest, itself, behaves more like animals than its own inhabitants.

However, after that interaction, it made you curious how different these creatures were from the outside. As unpleasant as that encounter was, the wolves were much wiser and sharper than the ones you have ever encountered outside. Maybe someone has trained them but that was unlikely since you would have known them as long as they’re within the clan.

Getting confused at the possibility, you didn’t notice the slight noises behind the bushes. You were also too numb to feel the light footsteps that were headed towards you at a swift pace.

Unfortunately, you only became aware of their movements the moment they’re standing behind you, pointing their sword towards you.

You didn’t dare turn around and instead asked with a calm demeanour, “ What have you come here for?”

However, your questions were not answered. Instead, all you got were footsteps coming towards you until they were pressing you against the rock, now painted with your blood.

Wincing at the added pressure against your wound, you laughed at the mere thought of ending your life here.

“ Who sent you?” You amusingly asked, “ What’re you achieving in coming after me?”

Noticing that the person had yet to confiscate your sword, your suspicion slowly took a turn to something else.

“ Did the Master send you here?” Turning around to stare into the piercing hazel eyes, you couldn’t contain yourself and burst out, laughing. You didn’t care how many creatures would be attracted by your voice, all you cared about was how entertaining this was,” What are you doing here, Viper?”

Stumbling back at getting caught, Viper could only stare at you, wide eyed.

Bringing your right leg against your thigh, you propped your head on top of it, “ Did you really think that this was enough to trick me? Is this really your way of welcoming your sunbae?”

Regaining his composure, Viper couldn’t help but let out a scoff, shocked at your comment. Gently stroking his caramel hair, he said, “ My sunbae? You jest. You don’t have what it takes to be my superior.”

Chuckling at his answer, you slowly dragged your right hand across the grass, enjoying the calming sensation that came with it, “ You might not like it, but as long as you are alive, I will always be your sunbae.”

Reacting to your words, the brunette stomped towards you and harshly reached over the rock and grabbed your left shoulder, “ You dare!... What is this? Why are you bleeding so much?”

Wincing at the unexpected damage, you clenched your teeth to prevent a groan and muttered, “ Let go of my arm.”

With little to no delay, Viper swiftly removed his grip from your arm. You could tell how much your wound had disturbed him but decided to ignore it, knowing this was not the time.

Walking around the boulder, Viper winced at how bloody your wound was. Ripping a piece of his hanbok, he skillfully replaced your soaked ones with his.

Silently thanking him, you both remained silent, not knowing what to say.

“ … It’s been a while since we’ve talked.”

“ Of course, after you took in that little brat, you barely had any time to interact with others outside of your branch.”

Smiling fondly of his little sulking episode, you teased him, “ I thought that you didn’t care whether I have the time or not? You were alw—“

Shutting your comment with a glare, Viper retorted, “ Continue that and I’ll make sure to make you enter the core in pieces!”

Knowing that you couldn’t handle his torment, you eagerly nodded to move on.

“ What are you doing here?”

Rolling his eyes at your question, he sarcastically answered, “ I’m here to pick flowers and go for a walk.”

Looking unamused at his reply, you decided to copy him, “ Really? I was also out for a walk but unfortunately tripped on a branch and have a gash on my arm that is killing me.”

By just looking into his eyes, you can tell how much disdain he currently has towards you, “ But seriously, what are you doing here? I don’t think the Viridian branch is in charge of guarding the territory.”

“ Of course we don’t. Our clan isn’t part of the physical sector like yours. Besides, it’s much better to stay in one spot and do all the tasks there. After all, the best place for us are the forest themselves.”

“ That still doesn’t answer why you wanted to kill me.”

Groaning at your stupidness, he said, “ Are you in a haze from all the pain? I’m obviously joking with you!”

Of course, you knew that he didn’t have any negative intentions other than wanting to tease you, but you couldn’t help yourself to let go of what he just did.

“ You do know that you basically broke the oath of not harming the clan members, right?” You taunted, “ Besides, I’m on my way to report back to the Master. What would you do if I blame my wound on you?”

Proudly straightening his back, he puffed up his chest and stated, “ As long as you don’t tell the Master that you encountered me on your way here, then I’ll be fine. Besides I’m your hoobae, why would you want to bully me?”

Blinking continuously at his unshameful response, you weren’t able to form any coherent responses.

“ Forget it, if you are reporting back to the Master then I’ll accompany you.”

Shaking your head at his offer, “ There’s no need for you to do that. Even though I’m wounded, I’ll still be able to reach the center properly. Besides, I’m waiting for my group.”

Perking up at the mention of your group, Viper distastingly asked, “ Group? You mean the little kids that were running around you?”

“ Kids? Hydrangin is only a few months younger than you while Queen is your hoobae of a few years,” you said, “ We got separated by an invasion so I’m waiting for them here.”

“ And you handled all of them on your own? How utterly reckless.”

You shrugged, not displeased with your decision but slightly winced at the little pricks from your arm, “ It was indeed reckless but I had a better chance of defeating them. Hydrangin and Queen aren't proficient in martial arts, and Panther is skilled in another area. It was either me or we died as a group.”

“ Hydrangin is part of my branch, he should have the resources to help you deal with the creatures here.”

“ He normally would have but we were in a hurry and didn’t want to be slowed down by them.”

“ You utterly useless group! How did you even become one of the best?”

At his words, you didn’t know how to reply and instead chose to awkwardly laugh it out of the problem. Thankfully, Viper was humane enough to let you escape his sharp fangs.

Feeling something hit your chest, you looked down to find a block of something. Glancing up at Viper, you waited for his explanation.

“ Anyways, I’ll be going now,” heading back to where he previously came out from, Viper greeted you, “ We’ll talk at another time. Make sure to enter in one piece, Phoenix.”

“ We will.”

And with that he disappeared into the depths of the forest.

Grabbing the chunk of medicine, you brought it to your mouth and began to chew on it. Despite not knowing what exactly it is, you continued to chew until you had absorbed all the nutrients and spitted out.

Sighing at the loneliness that once again enveloped you, you unconsciously mopped around, waiting for them.

To what had been many minutes later, you finally felt your heart lightening up at the sight in front of you.

Contrary to you, however, the people standing opposite of you were petrified by your condition.

“ Phoenix… you are in one piece?”

“ Of course I’m in one piece,” you answered, “ Just a little gr—“

Before you can finish your sentence, you felt a powerful force being pushed against your right side, whipping you against the boulder.

Tightening his grip around you, you felt tiny droplets begin to soak your sleeve.

“ Queen, why are you crying?”

Feeling him shaked his head, digging deeper into your neck, you brought your uninjure hand up and patted his head.

“ I’m alive so don’t worry,” you reassured, “ Now help me stand up if you will.”

Taehyung nodded, quickly wiping his tears before helping you up. Namjoon who was nearby, rushes to help you, taking your right arm over his shoulder to support your weight.

“ How did it become this bad?”

“ I was just a little careless, one of the rogue wolves got me when I was busy dealing with another. Nothing severe.”

“ Nothing severe?—,” Namjoon exclaimed.

“ Yes, nothing severe. Now if you would let this go, we’ve spent enough time here. We need to report back to the master.”

Namjoon, who was about to protest shut his mouth when he met your eyes, silently telling him that this was not the time.

And with that, you all started your way into the center, despite many disagreed eyes.

Least to be said, the center was not one would expect. Instead of being like the rest of the forest, the center was like a community, overfilling with life.

Legend has it that within the core of the forest, the center used to be the nest of the phoenixes. Or as you like to say, this was the home to the very first phoenixes. However, no one can really confirm the theory as that was even before humanity even obtained intelligence.

However, the myth still remains known as the creation of the clan itself.

The Scarlet Phoenix Clan, was an organization of occupations. Some may say that they are merchants, while some blatantly state that they are a web of the black market. Either way, the organization is known for its outstanding talents, who will accomplish any given task if deemed worthy.

The clan consisted of five branches, each named after one of the elements — metal, wood, water, fire, and earth.

The Titanium branch was your clan’s pride in craftsmanship, ranging from weapons to silverware, it was guaranteed that any product from them would be no better than the best.

Viper is part of the Veridian branch, who are masters in medicinal properties as well as poison. Namjoon is also part of the branch despite being registered under your branch.

To you the most cool-headed branch would be the Azures. In many ways, you were thankful for their patience, especially when they are the ones dealing with the paperwork. While some mainly work through the clusters of paperwork, many, like Taehyung, spend their entire lives on strategic and logical planning.

Next up is your branch, the Crimson branch specializes in physical combat. Ranging from direct to hidden attacks, your branch has it all. Known for your fiery yet strong moves, you guys wholeheartedly represent the fire element.

The final and last branch, the Golden branch was also a physical branch like yours. Specializing in long distance attack, they’re a great essential to more secretive missions. As a result, in their free time, members take shifts to help guard the territory.

With how diverse each branch is, you all get along quite well, having taught at a young age that each branch won’t survive without one another. So even if you are on bad terms with another branch, you would have to solve it one way or another for a higher chance of survival.

Members of the clan must be born or adopted into a branch and swore absolute loyalty to the clan. Of course, with this type of situation, the members could not reveal themselves to the general public and have to take an alias.

In some ways or another, it could be quite burdensome but it has to be done to have a form of assurance to the clan.

Built to showcase the five branches, the core was divided into five sections, with each area meeting at the center.

In the absolute center, there was the mansion of the Master, the one who overlooks the clan. Unlike other houses, the Master’s was the most extravagant and the one with the largest premises, simply because it is the place where most people work at — and where most documents are kept.

Countless people from different branches get employed to work at the Master’s mansion, helping the clan survive. After all, without everyone’s help, the clan would have disappeared generations ago, losing all the ancient value of it.

Following the servant that had greeted you at the entrance, you assumed that was where you are headed to now.

Walking up the stairs that leads to the Master’s study. Each step began to weigh heavier than the last as the distance between you and the Master decreased.

You have always dislike the Master’s mansion after the last Master ascended the position. The place was always filled with too much tension and mischief to your liking.

Though, you wouldn’t say anything as he does his duties properly and take care of the clan.

Once you all arrived in front of the door thanks to one of the servants, you waited for permission to enter.

After a few moments, he finally called you in.

“ Come in.”

Entering the room, the scent of medicine attacked your nostrils almost immediately. Crinkling your nose at the smell, you looked at the person sitting at the best in the middle, quietly enjoying his tea.

“ Greetings to the Master.”

As on cue, the four of you bowed down to properly greet the Master.

“ Mhmm,” looking up from his cup, he gazed over your guys’ bowed form, “ You lot are late.”

“ We apologize for the long wait, Master. There… were some issues that interrupted us from our journey.”

Raising his eyebrows at what you said, he stared at the bloodied mess of your arm, “ Issue? An issue that even injured the child of the head of the Crimson Branch?”

Hearing his slight sarcastic tone, you bit your lower lip to prevent any foolish words from coming out.

Seeing how you have taken the blow, Namjoon quickly came up with a reply to help you.

“ I apologize, Master. We were in such a hurry that the thought of an invasion hadn't once crossed our minds,” Namjoon reasoned.

“ I didn’t ask you, outsider! I was asking the child of Crimson’s branch Head.”

Flinching at his harsh words, you felt your blood boil at the audacity.

“ Master, please calm yourself,” you gritted out, obviously stating how inpatient you were, “ Hydragin was right, we were in too much of a hurry to have time consider these things. However, I assure you that it is all fine.”

Glancing at you in disdain, the Master obviously was not pleased about your actions to save Namjoon from him.

“ Whatever. Report to me about the current situation. What happened after the rebellion.”

Straightening up, you couldn’t help but let out a sigh, glad that he had moved on from the previous problem.

“ Reporting to the Master, before the initial rebellion, Corea was not doing that well. Famine has been spreading in the rural areas because of the major droughts that happen during the middle of the year.”

Continuing on about the various situations that have been happening, you put your focus on the information that you’ve memorized and not on the Master. As a result, you were made to face the scream of the Master.

“ I didn’t ask you to tell me the past! I told you to report your current plans!”

The irk that you have been desperately withholding seemed to be increasing in difficulty as the person in front of you continued to rant about your guys’ flaws.

“ … I apologize, Master,” you quietly said after his rant, “ Taehyung, would you do the favour and report our current plans?”

Flinching at the sudden call for him, Taehyung looked over at you, eyes telling you how betrayed he felt. However, you felt more than anything to get him to explain the plan, getting to take the credits.

Stepping up from his position from behind you, Taehyung respectedly looked at the Master and began to explain the plans.

Patiently waiting for Taehyung to finish, you mindfully directed the attention to Namjoon, who was the next to talk. Thankfully, this time, the Master didn’t say anything and everything went smoothly.

Almost smoothly.

Having been a few hours, your wounds have started to itch and are distracting you quite a bit. However, you had to keep things professional and tried to not show your discomfort.

Clenching your right hand to the fabric of your pants, you tried to forget the itching sensation that was gently nibbling your flesh. However, to your displeasure, your discomfort managed to escape your grasp and shone through.

Glancing over at your form, Namjoon continued to speak about the situation of the palace, “ In order to help balance and control the court, a harem has been created.”

Suddenly interested at the new information, the Master glanced over to see what your expression was.

“ A harem? This was not written in the letter. What is this all about, Phoenix?”

“ I apologize for not telling this to you sooner, there were much more important things that I had to fit into the letter and did not have the space to report such miscellaneous things.”

Despite how unbothered you sound, Taehyung felt an uncomfortable poke at his chest. Despite knowing that this was done to cover the harem situation, Taehyung still did not like how you had phrased it.

“ Originally it was decided that only the Queen would be at the position but the plan changed when the rebels started to group together to form their own fraction. There are still no leads to what they will do.”

“ So you created a harem to keep a leash around the leader?”

Balling your fist, and tensely nodded at the comment, “ Yes, Master. In order to control the fraction, I have made the leader’s oldest son and the previous dynasty’s heir join my harem.”

Lighting up at the sudden news, the Master happily nodded, “ Good, you did very well.”

Giving a slight bow, you thanked him for his praise.

“ I am expecting great results from you, Phoenix,” he stated, “ Now, you three leave the room. I have some things that I need to discuss with Phoenix. Alone.”

Swiftly bowing at the Master, the three quickly headed out.

After they left, an awkward silence was bestowed upon you. Not knowing what to say, you waited for him to begin the conversation.

“ Have you told them yet?”

“ No, I haven’t told them yet, Master.”

Leaning back against the chair, the master glanced at you, “ Then will you tell them?”

Shaking your head, you objected to the idea, “ I’m afraid that I will not have the chance to do so.”

Raising his eyebrows in confusion, “ You won’t have the chance? Hmmm… Interesting. Forget what I ask, you may go now.”

Offering him your final bow, you rushed out of the room, not wanting to be in his presence any longer.

Walking through the hallways, you noticed how bright it had become. Glancing over at the horizon, the bright light had begun to rise, signifying that dawn is coming.

Increasing your pace, you left the Master’s mansion to go to the clan’s entrance.

Looks like I won’t be able to greet him today. It’s fine, I’ll save it for some other occasion.

As expected, Taehyung and Namjoon were waiting for you there.

Nodding towards them, you attempted to step past them, leading the way. However, Namjoon was quick to block you.

Scrunching your forehead in confusion, you looked at Namjoon. Instead of looking into your eyes, Namjoon’s attention was drawn toward your left arm.

After looking down at the wound, you looked back at Namjoon, and smiled sheepishly.

Knowing what you meant, he rolls his eyes, “ I’ll deal with that when we’re on the carriage.”

Happy that he won’t treat it immediately and waste time, you ushered both of them to the exit before leaving.

Looking back to the ancestral landmark, you silently bid it goodbye.

Now, back to the palace we go.

Unlike previously, passing through the forest seemed more like a walk now. Since the sun have rise up now, the predators won’t be stupid enough to attack.

On the entire way, Taehyung, who has been oddly quiet, stuck to your side. Understanding what he meant, you only pulled him closer and entangled your hand with his, content with how comfortable it currently feels like.

Granted, you would have also ushered Namjoon to the hug but with your injured arm, doing it is much harder than saying it. As a result, you both had to accept him walking behind the two of you. Though, he did seem fine with the situation being like so.

After exiting the forest, you guys went to the nearest town and rented a carriage for the rest of your journey to the main city, and eventually to the palace.

Despite getting injured, you wanted to prolong the freedom you currently have. Having experienced firsthand how restrictive the palace is, you couldn’t help but cherish the few moments of freedom you have in the past few months.

Leaning your head against the wooden wall, you look over to the countless life that you passed by as your mind begins to drift to wherever. Going through different thoughts at such a slow yet peaceful pace that you could deceive yourself of dreaming.

When the carriage finally came to a halt, you all descended down, paid the servant a hefty pay, and thanked him.

As you left the palace in secret, it would make sense to also enter the palace in secret.

After dropping Namjoon off, you and Taehyung sneakily entered your courtyard. Taking turns to change into your sleeping attires, you both got ready for bed without a word. Practically melting against your soft sheets the moment you set your eyes on them, you snuggled further into the mattress. Letting the warm sun rays lure you to sleep, you continually wrapped your arms around Taehyung and began to relax. After getting some sleep, you would deal with your workload and the duties of a monarch.

However, as much as you want to ignore the servants call, it was practically impossible with their volume.

Flinching at the knock on your door, you grumpily sat up, careful to not bother Taehyung.

Speedily entering your chamber, the servant bowed at your form and said, “ Your majesty, a messenger from the Kim Tradings just informed that the Merchant of the South is arriving in three days.”

Blinking your eyes in confusion, still not entirely sober, you stared blankly at the servant.

“ Repeat what you just said.”

“ The Merchant of the South is arriving in Cheohae in three days.”

After confirming what you just heard is true, you slumped against the bed. Bringing your right hand to massage your temples, you definitely can’t wait until that day.

The palace will be in for a ride.

Copyright © 2021 MintVender

[peakyblinders1919]

Piano Man

Music. His mother loved music.

That’s why he didn’t allow it down at the pubs anymore. Well, that and the war. 

His life had been a somewhat quiet place ever since he had left a boy and returned to the streets of his hometown a new man.

He thought he was dreaming, a place somewhere between the smog-filled Small Heath and an oasis getaway, the sound of a calming waterfall accompanied by the most beautiful piano melody. It was nothing too complicated, (and he should know since him and his siblings were subjected to countless boring piano lessons when they were young, at their mothers request) but it made him listen closer. It made him stop, close his eyes, sway to the music, humming along.

It was a familiar melody, though he couldn’t put his finger on it. And that’s why he thought it was a dream, and that it was just happening more frequently; a good memory, a happy memory he had buried deep in the back of his memory that was resurfacing slowly.

Until he was walking home one day and it stopped him in his tracks, the melancholy notes casting Water Lane in a haze, an indescribable warmth. That’s when he knew it wasn’t a dream, though later that night it filled his head again all until the early morning daybreak.

It was weeks until the song had lodged itself permanently in his head to the point that he was humming it while sat at his desk.

“Tommy Shelby, is that you singing.”

“No,” he cleared his throat when he was caught in the act. “It’s humming...”

“Chopin, innit?” John, surpassingly, was the brightest of their mum’s pupils. “That one mum liked so much.”

“Chopin...” he stewed on the word. “Yeah, I guess. I’ve been dreaming about it lately.”

“I’ve been hearing it to. No really, I have,” he fought, “someone in the house down from us has been playing it at all hours of the night. It’s starting to get on my nerves really...”

—

It was a bad night. A bad dream. It started with the familiar song playing far off in the distance, Tommy approaching a lady on a blanket laid out with a picnic all positioned on the top of a hill. The music was a happy background noise, and the woman turned with a smile when he joined her. It was his mom, with a young pretty face, a version of her from some time between when her happiness was legitimate, radiant like a sunflower, yet before her life mirrored her mind, foggy and gray. 

She didn’t say anything, just patted the spot next to her for him to sit. She hummed the tune while she buttered the bread. 

And then came the bullets like rain, the scene flooded with red, her screams replacing Chopin, her slowly losing her mind, running, racing down the hill towards the lake calling her name, splashing through, trying to pull him down with her. Crying, screaming, agony, a mind that was completely lost, the river calling her, calling her away from him, calling her name to come under. Running, splashing, walking, wading. Drowning.

He shut out of bed, clutched at his chest as he gasped for air. His head hurt, he wanted to cry.

He smoked instead, which in turn only made him more emotional, reliving it over again and again, heightening his senses so every shadow was her corpse. The song a breeze on his neck, making him scratch and scratch, screaming for it to stop.

He *pounded* on the door with a chest handed fist determined to make it stop. Make the music and the dreams and the memory just stop for a second so he could have some peace and quiet. He continued pounding on the door even when it wasn’t there and he was just pounding on air, pinching the bridge of his nose when the music stop and someone answered.

“Can you please stop playing that bloody fucking piano at all hours of the night? Some people are *trying* to get some fucking sleep, they don’t need the sound of Chopin keeping them up.”

“Oh, I’m terribly sorry sir. I didn’t mean to, it's just... well I can’t sleep either, that's why I play. I’m surprised someone around here knows Chopin though. Sorry for keeping you up, I hope I haven’t been too much of a disturbance.”

Now that he was there and he looked into the woman’s eyes, he was soon taken aback by her beauty and her grace he’d forgotten altogether what he was there for. He was speechless for a moment that lingered on, causing her pink lips to purse into a smile.

“No, no uh... not a disturbance at all. A nice change really.”

“I’m sorry my playing kept you up, at least allow me to apologize with a cup of tea. I may know just the recipe that’ll knock you out,” she chuckled. 

He suddenly had forgotten about the nightmare, his mother and the shock and everything else that plagued his mind and kept him up. Now that there was no soothing melody, he felt like he needed it. The lure of her voice, almost as sweet on his ears as the music she produced, pulled him in even further. He was in no state for any of this really, but he was at least sober enough to realize the quickened beating of his heart wasn’t due to the drugs pumping through his veins, but the fact that he was so close to her as he followed her in.

“Maybe... maybe you wouldn’t mind playing one more time again?”

—

When there were whispers about Thomas Shelby, they used to be about his latest venture; who he killed, who he was dealing with, the whispers hushed because people were scared. Now when his name left people’s lips it was to figure out if he had fallen in love with her or her music. 

Ever since that night when he met the beauty behind the sound, he had fallen head over heels for her. Now they both got some sleep, wrapped up in each other’s arms and warmth; she had no need to stay up and keep her hands busy during the bewitching hour, and he had no music to haunt his dreams. They were like a harmony, each complimenting the other beautifully.

And when he did wake from a nightmare, a ghost of his mother, a reminder of the blood shed in France, she was there to play for him.

It was a regular night for them, Tommy waking up with a bolt in a cold sweat, shaking her from her light sleep. She’d trail kisses along his shoulders first, rubbing his back, shushing or humming the song until he had calmed enough to speak. And he only said one phrase, “Will you play for me?” with sad tired eyes. And with sad, tired eyes for him she would take his hands, pull him into the lounge and play for him.

It was one of these nights, they were just like all the others, around 2 am when she sat there like an angel, her fingers beginning to play the familiar song perfectly. Something pulled him closer to her until they were shoulder to shoulder on the piano bench. He watched her hands moving across the keys before he put his hand over hers. No words, just their hands touching, running across the same keys, his fingers picking up the harmony of her notes, completing the song. It was years after that he finally found out all those piano lessons hadn’t gone to waste. His hands knew all the keys to play, where to go next, to the point that he just stopped to watch her. How her head bent over the keys in concentration, how her lips pursed into a smile, how a stray piece of hair fell from her bun, how her cheek were rosy, how beautiful she looked in this light, how she got so swept up by the power of the music that her whole body swayed to the beat.

He waited until the song was over, putting the stray piece of hair back in place. “I love you.”

“I love you too Tommy.” 

He smiled as he leaned over to kiss her, the passion rising from his toes to his stomach as the kiss grew like a crescendo. Their lips danced together, tongues tangled, her hands on him pulling him closer before her magical pull had pulled him in to the point where all his weight shifted forward, his hands thrust forward onto the keys in an attempt to keep himself upright. He swore it was the only time a sound so horrendous had come from her piano. But they made the best music together.

[bitchloveskcbaseball]

You Left My Heart on the Floor

Pairing: Bryce x MC

Warnings: A bit of language. Character Death. I don’t think I put anything that outright mentions the attack, but this is taking place when M/C is quarantined in the room during the aftermath.

A/N #1: Sooooo... This is a follow up to Bar Trouble that is set during the book 2 attack with an unfortunate alternate ending. And it is not a happy one. Also this isn’t heavily edited, so please excuse any mistakes.

A/N #2: Name for this comes from Carly Pearce's Every Little Thing

A/N #3: I didn’t want to forcibly subject anyone to this, so I’m not tagging anyone on this.

Bryce barely took the time required to scrub out of surgery before rushing off through the corridors. He never even really saw any of the staff he passed or heard any of the comments that were floating about as he ran past. The only thing he could focus on was getting to Casey before it was too late. He had to get there before it was too late.

He didn’t even remember flying over the flights of stairs that took him to the cordoned-off floor. Barely registered brushing past all of the various personnel that were trying to keep him from entering. His first cognizant thought after handing Kyra’s surgery over to Tanaka didn’t come until he was standing in front of the window, staring into a room that looked like it had come straight out of some psycho-horror film. The entire room was covered in plastic, an extra cot was set up but had yet to be touched, all while countless figures were milling about just outside of a decontamination chamber in hazmat suits. But, despite all the commotion, the only thing that Bryce saw was her. Her face was paler than he’d ever seen before, a marked contrast to the deep, dark circles under her eyes. Her lips were almost ashen and even from across the room, he could see the way her body was trembling. Her normally bright, green eyes were so dull they were almost completely devoid of color. Yet through it all, he could tell, without even hearing her words, that she was doing everything she could to make sure that Rafael was comfortable. Every single thing about the scene chiseled pieces of his heart away.

Then, suddenly, Casey was looking up directly into his eyes. For the first time in months. And it literally stole his breath away. But there was no relief for either of them. Her expression had quickly morphed into disbelief and Bryce was hit with the full force of everything that had happened between them.

“What are you doing here?” Even through the hostility in her tone, he could hear the weakness of her voice.

“You… I heard you were in trouble.”

“So?”

Bryce stumbled back with the force of the word as if he’s been physically struck. “I needed to see you. To check on you.”

“Shouldn’t you still be in surgery?”

“Inez called Tanaka and he took over for me. Kyra’s in the next best possible hands.”

Casey let out a harsh scoff. “Seriously, Bryce? I’ve asked you for only one goddamn thing in the past six fucking months. To get Kyra through this surgery. And you couldn’t even do that?”

“Casey – “

“Forget it. You’ve seen me. Now you can go. I’m sure your girlfriend is probably worried about you by now. You shouldn’t keep her waiting.”

Bryce sucked in a sharp breath. He wasn’t sure what he’d expected when he’d come running, but this sure wasn’t it. He’d be lying if he said he hadn’t noticed the way her eyes followed him whenever they were in the same room. The glares she’d shoot in his direction when Amber was with him.

He liked Amber well enough, but, as terrible as it sounds, he only kept her around to make Casey jealous. To help distract him until Casey finally figured out what the hell it was that she wanted. Until Casey figured out that she was meant to be with him. But here they were months later and nothing had changed.

Except everything had changed. Because she could very well be dying. And he’d wasted so much time trying to play head games with her. Trying to get back at her for how she’d made him feel when she’d pushed him away.

Now, he realized, as he saw the flash of emotions through her eyes, he had done too good of a job at convincing her that he had moved on. Casey was never going to believe anything that he had to say, anything he desperately needed to say. Not that he could blame her. Why would she believe that he still loved her when he’d done everything possible to make sure she’d seen him all wrapped up with Amber any chance he got?

Dropping his head to stare at his shoes, he muttered, “I, uh… I won’t be far. Just in case you, uh, you need something. Okay?”

“Whatever.”

Without looking up, he turned on his heel and found his way into one of the evacuated rooms down the hall. Settling himself into corner of the room that butted up against the hallway so that he wouldn’t be seen through the crack in the door, he sank down until his face was buried against his knees. He’d never felt so helpless in his entire life. The one person who meant anything to him in this entire world was stuck in a room with some mystery substance threatening to take her away for good. He wanted nothing more than to be there for her, supporting her in every way possible, but she didn’t want that from him.

He couldn’t stand to be any further away from her than he currently was, though, so he hid out in the room throughout the night. He gradually inched closer to the door, in order to pick up on the pieces of conversation taking place in the hallway. Knowing that Ramsey and the diagnostics team were on the case had helped to ease some of his fears. That was, until he heard them telling her what had been in the can. Until he heard the words he’d been dreading for hours. “There is no cure.”

His entire world stopped. He couldn’t drag air into his lungs. He couldn’t see the light shining through the door opening. He couldn’t even smell the thick odor of disinfectant that permeated the air.

I’m going to lose her. No. Stop that, Bryce. They are going to figure this out. The brightest medical minds in the world are working on her case. They will fix this.

Still, he couldn’t shake the iron grip of fear around his heart. It took far longer than it should have for him to push himself to his feet. Even longer to actually figure out how to move them towards her room. This time, he was painfully aware of all the gazes falling on him as he trekked towards his destination. He couldn’t miss the pitiful, knowing looks he was receiving.

When he was once again standing in front of her window, he realized that she was now all alone in the room and his heart squeezed even harder. She was wobbling precariously as she seemed to be attempting to pace across the room. It took every ounce of self-control he’d ever possessed to not run into the room and haul her into his arms.

“Casey?”

Her movements were incredibly disjointed as she swiveled around to face him and her face was knotted up in confusion.

“Bryce?”

“Yeah. It’s me.”

“What ar – “ a violent coughing fit overtook her and very nearly brought her to her knees.

“Hey. Why, uh, why don’t you go sit on the bed for a minute, Case?”

“Can’t. Have to keep moving. Can’t solve this if I fall asleep.”

“You don’t have to solve this at all. You’ve got the best team of doctors ever working on this. Your only job is to preserve your strength.”

“Don’t�� don’t tell me what to do, Bryce.”

“I’m just – “

“Well don’t. I’ve been doing just – “ Casey blanched, stumbling over to a waste bin next to her cot just before the retching started.

Bryce’s fingers itched to hold her, to pull her hair back out of her way, to hold a cool washcloth to her face. Anything to bring her some semblance of comfort. Out of the corner of his eye, he spotted an extra hazmat suit, and a glimmer of hope bloomed within his chest.

“Hey, Case. There’s an extra suit out here. If you want, I can put it on and come keep you company.”

“No.” The strength behind the word was reassuring even as it cut straight to his heart.

“What?”

“You moved on. You have your … girlfriend and I’m sure she wouldn’t be pleased to find out you’d entered a contamination zone for your ex. And I … I don’t want you here. I’m just fine on my own.”

“But – “

“I said no. Now just… go home, Bryce. Just go home.”

Shocked and heartbroken, he stared at her back for several long moments before he finally was able to tear himself away from the window. He retreated back to his hiding place, unable to argue with her wishes but also unable to leave her completely. He needed to be near in case she needed something. In case she needed him.

What could have been an hour later or maybe five, he honestly didn’t know, Bryce was broken out of his contemplative misery by a commotion in the hall. He listened intently for any sort of hope or happiness amongst the chaos, but instead only heard words that had his blood running cold.

“She’s coding!”

He didn’t even remember moving, but suddenly found himself standing outside her window yet again. His face was pressed up to it as tightly as was possible, fingernails scratching at the glass. Please save her. Please don’t let her die. Whether it was a plea or a prayer, he honestly didn’t know, but he kept repeating it in his mind over and over as he watched the team of doctors trying to restore her heart rhythm as time ceased to exist.

Seemingly without warning, everyone stopped and a silence punctuated only by the harsh, flat tone of the heart monitor settled over the room.

[pochiperpe90]

Luca Marinelli: "Without growing you get lost"

When director Pietro Marcello asked him to play Martin Eden in his film in competition at Venice, Luca Marinelli was moved. "Many things have changed in recent years, maybe me as well"

From written words to moving images: «When you make a film based on a book, the book, at a certain point, tends to overlap. You no longer know what the novel is and what the screenplay is. Today I remember the end of Jack London's Martin Eden: that poignant conclusion, with him in the cabin reading that poem and deciding about his life».

Luca Marinelli, star of Pietro Marcello's Martin Eden, in competition at the next Venice International Film Festival and in theatre from September 4th with 01 Distribution, brings together memories and emotions, and gives them a precise order: everything starts from there, from the novel by the American writer.

"What was the soul of the book, which in my opinion is above any kind of discourse, political, social and idealistic; that soul, I said, was respected. Because it’s embodied in the character of Martin Eden. And then when you translate a book into a film it happens that some things take another form: it's normal in an adaptation." In the case of this film, says Marinelli, it all started from Marcello's point of view, from his vision: "Which perhaps is not like what someone else can have or like mine, because it’s a vision that belongs to the director: it’s the vision of the artist Pietro Marcello. The first scripts were certainly different, they were longer, denser, full of references to the book. The very first, if I'm not mistaken, was nearly 300 pages long. And this is because we were dealing with a masterpiece, and we didn't want to leave out anything».

Could this film be different?

“No, this film is how it was supposed to be. But with a book like this you can do anything: a 12-hours play, a film, a short film. Martin Eden is one of the best books ever written. Cinema imposes different times and measures from written narration; the balance that Pietro and Maurizio Braucci, co-screenwriter, found and the work they did were excellent, in my opinion".

Let's start with when they proposed you the role of Martin Eden.

“I remember my tears as I was watching “Bella e perduta”; I remember my emotion, and I also remember that immediately after I finished watching it I told myself that it would be nice to work with this director. It was 2015. Three years later they call me, and they tell me that Pietro Marcello wanted to meet me. Imagine my happiness. Knowing, then, that this film would be born from Jack London's book moved me even more».

What convinced you to accept?

«Martin Eden is a human being of great sensitivity, great curiosity and great empathy; he has an enormous desire to discover, to see, to touch with his hand. However, he suffers countless disappointments. He climbs a mountain only to learn, once he reaches the top, that a sad camp resides there, and that the best thing was never to get there, to the goal, but perhaps the very start. The journey".

And was it difficult to make this journey?

“It's a question that I have asked myself too, and the answer I have given myself is both yes and no. No, because being next to Pietro, Maurizio, colleagues and all the people who collaborated on the film, I found the right push and the right support to get into the character. But the difficulties, of course, are always there. What I really wanted to understand was Martin Eden. I abandoned myself to the first sensation I had while reading the book and the screenplay».

What was that feeling?

"A gigantic emotion. This character speaks directly to each of us because everyone shares something with him. Each of us wants to do, to exist. To reach a goal. Only then we come up against obstacles that make us lose hope - in part or in whole».

But when did the spark go off?

“I've always been passionate about writers like London or Stevenson. Adventurers, capable of creating worlds, of giving life to characters with their eyes open to the society around them. Entering a life like that, a life where the sea is so present, a life made of traveling, of seeing, made of pure passion, intrigued me a lot. And then there was Naples".

Compared to Jack London's book, Pietro Marcello's film is a rewrite set in the Neapolitan capital.

“I had never lived all this time in Naples; and I had never known it so much. I have not yet been able to fully understand it; not completely. Naples is a place apart. I have come to love it. Naples is a whole people. Something fantastic. It’s a place with a huge identity. A very strong identity. Think of the language: it’s not a dialect, it’s a language. And then you meet people who make you realize how beautiful it is to be Neapolitan: how welcoming it is, how fascinating it is, how deep it is. Naples, for me, was a great discovery».

Is sensitivity a condemnation?

"I don’t know. On one hand, yes, it can make you suffer more. But I wouldn't see it as a sentence. Sensitivity allows you to see the world; it leads you to respect what is around you».

But it also brings loneliness with it.

«Martin Eden distances himself from everything and from himself: he can no longer be in contact with anything or anyone, he is disappointed».

In this film, the clash between the class of intellectuals and the so-called people also finds space.

"I think that the true intellectual, like Pasolini was, manages to put himself on the same level as the society, to look at it in the eye, to speak to the common man without being opinionated, just showing what is there: what is happening".

At one point, you find yourself sharing the scene with Carlo Cecchi, who plays Russ Brissenden.

«I was very excited because I found my teacher. And it was great to be with him there, on the set, more than six years after we had last acted together."

You said you got excited

“Because in the film he plays Martin Eden's mentor, and Carlo was a mentor to me too. It was a real gift”.

How many things have changed over the years?

"Many."

And you? Have you changed as an actor?

“I don't know, I swear. But maybe I was better before (laughs)».

What do you mean?

"I started with the theater, where there is no safety net, there is no" stop, let's do it again!" and there is no possibility to stop, start over, rethink. I miss that courage».

Is theater a torment or an obsession?

"It’s never a torment or an obsession. Sometimes at night, however, I dream of going on stage and not remembering anything anymore».

Perhaps it’s today's cinema that tends to be not very brave.

«In my opinion it’s experiencing a new period. And it’s not a coincidence that Marcello's Martin Eden arrives right now, in this moment. Surely we could give a voice to many more people. Even that, if you like, is a question of courage».

Martin Eden also speaks of talent and perseverance. What is more important, in your opinion?

“They go hand in hand. Talent is the first thing you see. It’s the primordial spark. But you can't just rely on that. You have to be curious, eat life, live it to the fullest, intensely and consciously. But to live it, one must also commit oneself: and one must be prepared».

You need to read.

«For me a book is always a victory. Because you have been elsewhere and have lived a story that is different from yours."

What kind of reader are you?

“I wouldn't call myself an avid reader: but the more I grow, the older I get, the older I get and the more I read. Because I am more and more aware of how beautiful it is».

Reading isn’t just a hobby.

"Thoreau says: "As if you could kill time without injuring eternity". It’s important not to waste time; but it’s important to do it without causing anguish or fear. You have to be there, stay there, live in the moment. But without exaggerating».

When you were younger - when you were a child - what were you like?

“I've always been surrounded by curious people. Even my friends, the ones I had as a child and the ones I still have now, are curious. We liked to move, to go around, to be together; we lived the street. We also enjoyed listening to music, reading comics and books, and watching movies."

And curiosity soon turned into fascination.

“Acting has always fascinated me. And only at a certain point did I manage to find the right courage to try. And I don't know why: I really don't know. In the Academy this phrase was always repeated: “play seriously”. And maybe was this that interested me; or not".

We talked about teachers. Who were they to you?

«People like Carlo Cecchi or Anna Marchesini. They were moments, very important meetings».

How did you come in contact with Marchesini?

"We studied with her for three months at the Academy, and it was wonderful because for the first time I wrote something of my own. Each of us, each of the students, had to write something about himself, starting from his identity card - this was the initial task. And it was, believe me, very difficult».

What impressed you about her?

"The energy, the dedication, the beauty. I remember the moments with her, the wonderful phrases she said. What has always fascinated me to see was the passion she put into it».

Other teachers?

"My grandfather. I always liked the job he did: he was a carpenter. In the academy they told us many times: "you have to be a craftsmen". And I was always thinking of him».

What, in the end, do you have left of Martin Eden?

«The sense of collectivity. Passion. The importance of looking around. To always look at others and at themselves. The adventure of life, and the wonder it represents. What deeply tears Martin Eden apart is betraying himself and being disappointed in his own dreams. We can fight against this only if we are faithful to ourselves, to our beliefs, to our places of origin. And then, you know, all the rest remains: remains all that world».

VANITY FAIR

Just wanted to translate this old interview for the non-italian’s fans ^^ (sorry for my English)

[glossyeon]

natm || pt.1 || osh

*All credit goes to the creators of these images*

~𝘏𝘢𝘪𝘳 𝘵𝘶𝘳𝘯𝘴 𝘧𝘳𝘰𝘮 𝘴𝘵𝘪𝘧𝘧 𝘮𝘢𝘳𝘣𝘭𝘦 𝘵𝘰 𝘭𝘶𝘴𝘤𝘪𝘰𝘶𝘴 𝘭𝘰𝘤𝘬𝘴, 𝘺𝘰𝘶𝘳 𝘱𝘢𝘭𝘦 𝘴𝘬𝘪𝘯 𝘤𝘰𝘮𝘦𝘴 𝘣𝘢𝘤𝘬 𝘵𝘰 𝘭𝘪𝘧𝘦 𝘸𝘪𝘵𝘩 𝘢 𝘨𝘭𝘰𝘸𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘳𝘢𝘥𝘪𝘢𝘯𝘤𝘦. 𝘈𝘯𝘥 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘴𝘪𝘭𝘦𝘯𝘵 𝘤𝘰𝘭𝘥 𝘴𝘵𝘰𝘯𝘦 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘤𝘢𝘭𝘭𝘦𝘥 𝘺𝘰𝘶𝘳 𝘩𝘦𝘢𝘳𝘵 𝘤𝘰𝘮𝘦𝘴 𝘣𝘦𝘢𝘵𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘣𝘢𝘤𝘬 𝘵𝘰 𝘭𝘪𝘧𝘦 𝘸𝘩𝘦𝘯 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘴𝘦𝘦 𝘩𝘪𝘮…~

𝙋𝙖𝙞𝙧𝙞𝙣𝙜: Museum Curator!Sehun x Sculpture!Reader

𝙒𝙖𝙧𝙣𝙞𝙣𝙜𝙨: sexual content, oral m recieving, fingering, dirty talk, degrading names during sex, rough sex, nudity, explicit depictions of sex, Sad scenes, Reader is a sculpture?, Swearing, Lot’s of grammar mistakes, heartbreaking and heartwarming scenes ahead…

𝙒𝙤𝙧𝙙 𝙘𝙤𝙪𝙣𝙩: 1.6k

𝘼/𝙉: This has been a series that I’ve been dying to do for a very long time! I think Museum Curator!Sehun is such an uncommon paring that we need more of these days. Also inspired by Night at the Museum Movie Series... Enjoy!

𝙎𝙪𝙢𝙢𝙖𝙧𝙮: 𝘌𝘷𝘦𝘳𝘺 𝘯𝘪𝘨𝘩𝘵 𝘢𝘵 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘔𝘶𝘴𝘦𝘶𝘮 𝘪𝘴 𝘢𝘯𝘰𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘳 𝘯𝘪𝘨𝘩𝘵 𝘖𝘩 𝘚𝘦𝘩𝘶𝘯 𝘩𝘢𝘴 𝘵𝘰 𝘴𝘱𝘦𝘯𝘥 𝘥𝘰𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘩𝘰𝘶𝘳𝘴 𝘰𝘧 𝘱𝘢𝘱𝘦𝘳𝘸𝘰𝘳𝘬 𝘵𝘰 𝘴𝘦𝘤𝘶𝘳𝘦 𝘩𝘪𝘴 𝘱𝘰𝘴𝘪𝘵𝘪𝘰𝘯 𝘢𝘴 𝘔𝘶𝘴𝘦𝘶𝘮 𝘊𝘶𝘳𝘢𝘵𝘰𝘳. 𝘉𝘶𝘵 𝘸𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘩𝘦 𝘥𝘰𝘦𝘴𝘯’𝘵 𝘬𝘯𝘰𝘸, 𝘪𝘴 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘮𝘢𝘨𝘪𝘤 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘰𝘤𝘤𝘶𝘳𝘴 𝘫𝘶𝘴𝘵 𝘣𝘦𝘧𝘰𝘳𝘦 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘤𝘭𝘰𝘤𝘬 𝘴𝘵𝘳𝘪𝘬𝘦𝘴 12...

                                   ─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

At the strike of 12 o'clock midnight you are given the chance to come to life once more. No longer do the Velvet rope barriers that keep you motionless throughout the day block your freedom. You’ve done the same thing each and every night for the past thirty years since you were moved to this museum. Roam the halls and exhibits with your fellow friends of art that are bound to the grounds of this grand building just like you. 

There’s your sassy and confident friend HyunA, which is better known as the girl with the pearl earring. Constantly chattering and gossiping about the cavemen’s in exhibit B, or the newly arrived valuables that belong in the Victorian history section. 

Then there’s your calm and collected friend Mona Lisa, but you just call her by Lisa. Quite popular amongst the mummies in the Ancient Egypt section for some reason that you cannot out your finger on. The three of you have been together for the past decades, stuck to be stared, examined, and pick apart by the public eye. It’s not easy, but it’s what you were all made to do. 

Stay perfectly still and be art. 

Be the magnificent piece of history that people label you to be. 

That night was the same as any other. The booming chimes of the grand clock in the entrance of the museum signalled the time had come for everyone. The time to live. 

Soon, the stiff marble that you called your hair turned to luscious black locks, healthy and shining with brilliance. The pale cover that was your skin melted off to uncover a radiantly glowing hazel one. No one could deny that the beauty you obtained was less than perfect. You were the epitome of beauty, confidence, and love.

“Jesus Christ I think I’m gonna need to see a chiropractor after this” you signed in pain as you cracked the remaining hardened parts of your body. Standing in place for 12 hours was exhausting and cruel to say the least.

“You’re a sculpture. How on earth would you survive that painful session with a chiropractor? Your fine marble would bruise and dent the minute hands are laid on you.” Absurdity was evident in the voice that came from behind you. A voice with too many thoughts that had been kept hidden for so long that just ached to be heard...

“Taemin-“ you started out, tired of dealing with this again 

“First of all, how would you even meet this chiropractor? We are bound to the halls of this museum!” He stated as if you weren’t reminded of this everyday. “And what would the chiropractor even say to you if you show up to them? “Oh why hello there nice to meet you, you must be that hundred thousand year old sculpture th-“

“Taemin!” You shrieked in annoyance. It wasn’t long before you clamped the tall mans mouth shut with your hand and warned in a threatening voice. “I’m popular, I’m beautiful , and I have many many friends in this exhibit that wouldn’t mind making a few dents in those kneecaps...” you said, emphasizing many.

The boy gasped in horror and pulled away from you before gulping in fear from your series expression. you sighed and proceeded to leave, your white dress floating behind you as you tried to find your friends. “I have no time to deal with you” you explained, swiftly walking away. 

He called behind you “it’s not my fault that I’m constantly surround by my thoughts with NO ONE to talk too” he huffed and pouted his lips in a frown that you could already tell was there. 

it wasn’t long before the shrieks and laughter that belonged to HyunA filled the History section next door. You smirked, leaning against the wall with your arms crossed. You couldn’t help stopping to witness the scene of your friend right before your eyes.

HyunA’s voice and chatter was dripping with charisma and curiosity. As the girl sat elegantly on one of the museum benches, the Norwegian cavemen fought and huddled to get a glimpse of her beauty and an earful of her words. 

“And as his deep stoic eyes bored into my eyes, I knew right then and there. He was to be mine. From the tip of my tongue, to the ends of my toes, he owned me. Every inch and corner” 

your best friend seductively read out each word of the novel in her hands, passionately describing the lewd contents that were about to come. 

“Don’t you think that’s enough reading HyunA?” I commented, walking closer to the bench. The cavemen immediately moved to create space for the best friend of the woman they called their goddess. 

I smiled at the eagerness visible in her eyes. “How on earth am I supposed to stop now when I’ve just started!” She explained, patting the heads of the cavemen like they were her pets. To be honest, they weren’t far from it, with their eyes overflowing with love and admiration. 

“HyunA has taught us many important lessons during our nights!” One built and muscular man named Shownu stated, piling the agrees of many others as well. 

One man named Chan then began to say, “HyunA has taught us the importance of love, sensuality, and passion” he declared, smacking his chest with his fist and roaring with pride. the others didn’t hesitate to join in as well. 

Meanwhile, HyunA just seemed to stare virtuously at the men, admiring the fan club she had successfully accumulated during her read alouds. I shaked my head in disbelief and proceeded to swiftly snatch HyunA away from the male energy surrounding the room. 

“HyunA” I begged. “Please don’t hang out with those men anymore, hm? It’s not good to waste your nights away by reading some fantasty romance to them” I tried to reason with my best friend but HyunA being HyunA, she didn’t hesitate to assure me. 

“Oh Y/N,” she looked at me like I was a stray cat in need of help. “My time with boys like Shownu and Chan are just play times”. Brushing a hair behind my ear and while holding both my hands in hers, she went on. “I’m just trying to have a bit of fun before I meet The One” she declared, sighing at my clueless face. 

I snatched the book that was still under her armpit and shaked it in front of her. “Reading the museum secretary’s hidden fan fiction won’t do anything to help you find love”

“give that back” she whined. 

I pinched my nose bridge in disappointment and stress, raising the book high up in the air where she couldn’t reach it. As she was struggling to retrieve her precious novel, noises erupted from the ends of the halls. 

“What now...”

The hallways outside the separate exhibits were especially loud at night. It’s a true mystery how the security guards and night shift workers don’t find out about us. Dinosaurs, extinct wildlife, and many many nude men were running rampant, overflowing with excitement and life.

“Yuna that’s a 4000 year old Naqada Vase your holding” I exclaimed, reaching out to snatch it away.

But Yuna wasn’t easily defeated. Being born of Victorian Royalty, Shin Yuna was quite a mischievous handful, never hesitating to get what she wanted. 

“What, this one?” She smirked, dodging my actions and obviously playing dumb. Her small wrist went right through one of the handles, dangerously hanging it through one hand. 

Letting out the 100th sigh that night, my footsteps carried me away from the chaos. 

“If I don’t see it, I don’t know it” I mumbled to myself.

As HyunA and Yuna stopped to talk more about her petticoat, I made my way to the library of historical records. A place where not many of the historical artifacts went to enjoy their nights. But I preferred the quiet, peaceful setting as it was much more fun than getting pissed at by Napoleon Bonaparte. 

Shuddering at the memory, I then opened the doors to the library. Greeted with the familiar scent of must and candle wax, I happily pranced along the endless supply of books. 

Books from about the Ice Age to Modern Art surrounded me. My passion for reading could never bore me. Not in a million years. 

I swiftly walked past the spines of each and every book, only to stop at an empty shelf. The section of famous poets and philosophers that I was just getting fond of had been apparently moved to the other side of the room. Frowning in annoyance I was just about to head back when I saw him. 

The tall, slim, figure sitting at one of the tables, back covering the view of my presence. I stopped in my spot, frozen in fear as this man was definitely not one of the museum's peoples. At least not the usual ones on night duty. 

The countless precautions put in place to avoid being caught by the workers and night guards had served its purpose for all this time. If there was anyone to see the magic that happened in these walls, we wouldn’t know what we would do. 

Would we be taken away? Would we be shipped off to the CIA? Lord knows what would happen if I left HyunA and Lisa alone...

Although his face was covered with the cover of a book, there was no denying that his body was well crafted. The muscles under his black turtle neck stood out under the fabric, perfectly hugging his chest and arms. I felt quite a bit embarrassed with my sheer cloth dress, which was quite absurd considering practically everyone has seen the my crafted body. I carefully took a step back. 

“The quicker I leave and warn the others, the better” I thought. Keeping my footsteps as light as I could, I made my way almost 2 feet away from the door. And that's when his words echoed in the silence of the library. 

“You’re forgetting something aren’t you?”

(Copyright 2020 © Glossyeon // all rights reserved)

[boat-dock]

“Knowing You is for the Better” chapter 8

just Hope being soft for Josie the entire time

They spent the whole weekend exploring the city, Hope took them through her favorite places, restaurants, shops, and even the clock tower where her aunt Freya set up all her witch things. Hope had missed her friends exponentially, even as the weekend game to a close she wished they could stay longer. After an entire day in the bayou, on the river with Ava and Logan and a bonfire that night, the girls all piled up in Hope’s family room to stay up late watching movies. 

After gorging themselves with popcorn and candies, they finally called it a night and went slowly to their respective rooms. Hope, however, still wasn’t ready to sleep. Instead, she pulled countless books off her shelves to read a few pages then left them discarded all over her room. Slowly her attention shifted to her art, she got her sketchbook and began idly drawing, trying to calm her brain. Time crawled past until the moon was high and the city's nightlife was in full swing.

She’s snapped out of her head, by a knock on her door, after checking the clock she opens the door to see Josie on the other side.

“Hey sorry I hope I didn’t wake you,” Josie said shyly as she welcomed her into her room. Josie glanced around, taking in everything she saw. Hope’s room was a mess and her cheeks reddened slightly as she tried to tidy subtly. 

“No, not at all,” she said, “I wasn’t sleeping, were you?” she asked, taking a seat on her bed. 

“Lizzie was and I didn’t want to wake her so I figured I’d come bother you,” Josie jokes, poking Hope in the side, causing her to laugh. 

“You’re never a bother Jo, you know that,” 

Josie blushed and went back to looking around the room. Her eyes landed on Hope’s paintings all piled in the corner. There was a half-finished one on the easel that was a swirl of colors, and if Josie squinted her eyes, she could imagine they were flowers. She started sorting through the various paintings leaned against the wall. She lands on one that is a nighttime view of New Orleans, Josie sighed,” I wish I could see the world the way you do Hope,” she said absentmindedly, enthralled by the painting. 

“That’s one of my favorites,” Hope replied smiling before taking Josie’s hand and leading her away, through the door and out onto the balcony. “Come on let me show you something.” 

The city sprawled out around them, in a haze of noise and light, despite all the crazy people, Hope smiled as she watched everything. “Wow,” was all Josie could say,” It’s beautiful out here.” 

“Wait till you see this,” Hope said, bouncing and pulling her toward the corner of the balcony, where a trellis was attached to the wall. Hope started climbing without even thinking, she’d made this journey hundreds of times since she was a little girl. It took her a moment to realize that Josie wasn’t following her up, she stood back with wide eyes and an exasperated look. 

“You want me to climb up there?” she asked, eyeing the trellis and the roof that it led to,  ”No way,” 

An idea came to Hope and she acted without before she could second guess herself. Using her vampire speed she grabbed the siphoner and got them to her favorite spot on the roof in seconds. Josie yelped and grabbed onto her tightly when she saw where she was. Jose’s fear of heights was new to Hope, but she found it endearing. They sat down slowly and after a moment she calmed down, releasing Hope, but still staying close enough that if she fell Hope could catch her. 

“Does this look familiar?” Hope asked motioning toward the city beneath them. This was the scene that she painted, it had taken so many attempts to capture it the way she wanted, but she was finally happy with the way it turned out.

“It’s your painting,” Josie realized, relaxing slightly, she watched the city for a while, but Hope just watched her. She could see Josie straining to take in everything, she would smile at the shouting people below swaying to the never-ending music of the city. 

In an instant, Josie’s whole mood changed, her dark eyes turned sad and glassy, Hope felt like she could drown in them. “There’s so much out there to see,” she said quietly, almost like she was talking to herself,” I don’t want to die before I can see it,” Hope’s heart cracked and in that moment she would have given anything to erase the sadness from the younger girl's face.  

Between Malivore and the prison world and turning, Hope hadn’t focused on the merge like she should have. It was a major piece of the twins’ life, it quite literally determined which one of them would live and which one would die. The thought of losing one of them filled her with dread, she’d lost too many people already and she was not about to add the twins to that list.

“When we figure all of this out and stop the merge,” Hope started, determined to make her friend feel better,” I’ll take you anywhere in the world you want to go, you just have to give us some time,” 

Josie laughed bitterly,” my parents have had 16 years to solve this and they haven’t gotten anywhere,” 

“Well, they didn’t have me,” Hope replied. Josie was tense, Hope could tell that there was something more on her mind, that she wasn’t sharing. She just didn’t know how to get her to open up. “What’s on your mind?” maybe all she had to do was ask. 

“I’ve got an idea,” she said slowly like she wasn’t sure exactly how to say this,” my parents will hate it, so I can’t tell them, but maybe you and I can work on it together,” Hope waited patiently for her to continue and when she did it was like she moved backward 3 steps,” I learned about this women, her name is Valerie Tulle, she’s an old member of the Gemini coven and she survived when everyone else died.”

“How?” Hope asked, leaning forward slightly. 

“She’s a heretic,” she whispered and Hope realized exactly what she was alluding to, she must’ve made a distressed noise because Josie turned to her with a renewed zeal and started explaining her plan,” Look if you turn me we can stop all of this, I won’t be able to merge with Lizzie and this can finally be over,” 

Hope couldn’t shoot the idea down, because it was better than any idea that she had, which was none, but that didn’t mean that she had to agree to help her,” You’re right that’s an option,” she said, dancing lightly around her words.

Josie deflated next to her, “You won’t do it,” she said, reading Hope like a book. 

“Answer me this, do you really want to be 16 years-old forever?” she asked, nudging her shoulder. 

“Better that than being dead,” 

“How about a compromise,” Hope suggested, which was met with a confused look,” you come back to me when you’re 21 and if we don’t have this figured out by then then we’ll talk about it, deal?” she asked.

“Vampire at 21 and seeing the world at 22, what a life,” Hope took that as confirmation. They lapsed into a comfortable silence, enjoying each other’s company. Josie shivered next to her, goosebumps forming along her arms. It was a chilly night, but Hope didn’t even notice, she never felt the cold. She moved closer to her friend silently offering up her heat, which Josie happily accepted. She leaned her head on Hope’s shoulder, finally feeling the drowsiness that should have claimed her hours ago, she started talking about whatever came to her mind,” You know when Lizzie and I first got to the city we went to this little cafe and after you sent us that note, which I still haven’t figured out how you did by the way,” she laughed,” we asked them if they knew you and where we could find you and they sent us the parade but they also said that everyone in the city knew who you were,” 

“You talked to Benny and Ms. Sheila,” Hope answered smiling,” they’re friends of mine,” she wasn’t exactly sure where the brunette was going with the conversation so she decided to just talk,” and they’re right, my family basically built this city. Once my family was treated like royalty, my dad used to tell me that that made me a princess. We’ve won wars and lost them here and more than a few of them were fought over me, so yeah for better or worse they know who I am,” she knew she was rambling, but it was nice to talk about this, so any people didn’t want to know a thing about her family, they would rather just pretend Hope was normal. 

“I think knowing you is for the better Hope Mikaelson,” Josie said softly. Hope’s entire body tensed with emotion, her throat closed and she found herself unable to speak. 

Josie always managed to surprise her, in the best ways,” you once asked me why I liked you,” she choked out, struggling to put her feelings into words. Josie sat upright, shocked by her words,” You are so kind Josie, genuinely kind, do you know how many people have been genuinely kind to me in my life. I’ll get you a hint it’s not very many, but you, you say things just like that without even think, and I shatter into a million pieces,” 

She couldn’t meet Josie’s eyes, she’s not sure what would happen if she did. Every star could simultaneously fall from the sky and she wouldn’t notice. “You’re a nice person to Hope,” Josie said, with an earth shattering smile,” you saved uncle Matt's life and you’re still friends with Roman after everything that happened,” Hope had a feeling that she would keep listing things if she didn’t cut her off.

“Being forgiving isn’t the same as being kind,” Hope pushed back. The clock chimed once in the distance, loud and clear, breaking through the drunken noises below them.”come on you should get some rest, you have a long day of travel tomorrow,” 

Josie’s face contorted at the thought of having to climb her way off the roof,” can you just vamp us down please,” Hope chuckled and grabbed Josie’s waste, the younger girl squeezed her eyes shut and when she opened them they were back on the balcony. Only slightly disoriented they went back into Hope’s room. 

“Do we really have to go back home tomorrow?” Josie whined, swinging her arms. 

If it were up to Hope she would let the twins stay forever, but sadly their parents had other ideas,” I barely talked your dad into letting you stay this long,” Hope laughed,” any longer he might come down here and drag you back himself,” 

Josie stopped a ways from the door before turning back to face Hope, she was wringing her hands together like she was nervous,” do you think I could crash here tonight, I don’t want to wake Lizzie up, you know how cranky she can get.”

For the first time Hope noticed the dark circles under the younger girls eyes,” yeah of course,” Hope replied, pulling the covers back.  

As they crawled into bed Josie spoke up again,” When are you going to come back to school Hope?”

Hope had been wondering the same thing herself. As much as she loved it here with her family, she was actually hoping to graduate on time, and it was much harder to focus on schoolwork here than it was there. “Nik’s birthday is next weekend, I think i’ll come back after that,” 

Josie grinned. Hope ignored it when she heard her heartbeat speed up as they settled into bed, and when they awoke early the next morning entangled with each other, Hope ignored that too. 

[thoughts-of-a-stagemanager]

The day my dream job died

In February I was sitting in a room listening to one my superiors talk about crap that had nothing to do with anything important. I had recently finished a show that wrecked so much havoc on my mental health just the sight of the director of that show made my jaw clench. We had a guest in that room who used to work my dream job. That job, I am not going to say because I don’t want to watch someone else’s dream job die because of me. I’ve always loved theatre and I wanted to pursue Stage Management professionally. At least, that’s what I thought. But as I was sitting in that room, listening to the guest who used to have my dream job talk, I was soon horrified at the stories she told. About how she was treated, how the actors were treated and how crew was treated. As she was talking I felt the metaphorical path of my life I had so carefully paved out crumble beneath my feet and I was falling. I was trying to grasp something. Some sort of hope that I could still get my dream job and be happy doing it. But I had already fallen and landed hard on the rubble of the path. My ASM for my next show looked over at me and saw the perplexed look on my face. She gave me a sheepish smile and just said “it is a big company. Those things happen unfortunately.”

I remember calling my mom that night and telling her everything. I felt so defeated. She simply said “There’s lots of other theatre companies who would want you. You’re really good at your job.”

Call me overdramatic if you must.

But perhaps its because every single show I have worked in my Stage Management career has wrecked havoc on my mental and physical health. 

Perhaps its because every single show I have worked during my Stage Management career I only had one director that didn’t treat me and my crew like servants. But with just my luck, during that show I was harassed by an actor.

I remember my first big show I worked, the director was very verbally abusive toward me. Causing me to have a breakdown at least twice a week after rehearsals. It takes a lot to break me. But so quickly, I was beat down to a weak mouse who could barely stand on her own two feet. I remember I went to my boss and asked her multiple times “Why can’t I stand up for myself and the actors/crew because we all know this is wrong?” 

She simply said, “It’s not your place. This director is a control freak, get over it.”

This was the biggest slap in the face to me during the whole production. How helpless and silenced I felt because I was new and didn’t know what to do. It was tech week for this show when I started the Tumblr blog. I needed somewhere to vent. During the post mortem for this show the director (who had already directed many shows, but it was their first show at our theatre), said in front of the entire board, designers, everyone, “You know, I was new and (my name here) was new and you know, she’ll be good next time.”

I froze, speechless, tears instantly coming to the back of my eyelids. This director who insulted me, verbally abused me and used me as their scape goat the entire show just wrongfully put me on blast in front of everyone. After I had held up her show on my shoulders with little help from anyone. I looked around the room to see a few designers shaking their head at me in disagreement. However as the ‘new’ stage manager, this absolutely crushed me and made me mad at the same time.

The next show I worked, the director had general ideas of what they wanted, constantly changed things on me (and the designers), then proceeded to use me as their personal assistant while scolding me for being supportive to actors. Yes, you read that right, I was scolded for being a kind and caring stage manager. This director also changed the schedule on me and the actors so many times that it got to the point I just wanted to say, “here is the schedule, you can change it everyday yourself and confuse the actors so they understand its fully you messing up all this work.”

This director would call designers to run throughs then proceed to waste an hour or more of everyone’s time working scenes instead of doing the actual run through causing us to run late. This director would be incredibly rude to my ASM’s and myself right in front of actors. This director threw things like their keys at me. Would respond to me trying to be helpful with “Well duh” or since they changed the schedule so much would respond to the call list for the day with “Uh no, that’s definitely not what we’re doing.” This making it look like to the actors I had no idea what was going on. But I think they [actors] knew. However, shockingly, this director treated me much better than the previous one I had mentioned and now the sight of them doesn’t fill me with dread, because shockingly this show was the best show I’ve ever worked.

I am exhausted. I am so sick of being used as a pin cushion and the scape goat for all the directors and actors I’ve worked with.

I am sick of working with actors who are full of hot air and think they are better than everyone else.

I am sick of working with directors who think so highly of themselves they don’t care who they destroy in their path of building their ‘reputation’.

I’m here to say. I need a break. Stage Management has exhausted me. I am exhausted.

Please, please, please, please do not let this ruin your perception of the theatre world. If you want to be a professional Stage Manager or something else in theatre, go. Pursue that dream. I was simply delt a crappy hand. I worked my ass off yet people continued to treat me like their scape goat, like complete and udder shit and it has not faired well on me. I am still incredibly grateful for the amazing down to earth people I did get to work with and appreciative of the opportunities I had, the things I have learned, the friends I have made and the fun stories I have to tell. I am incredibly grateful for the awesome support team behind me who have helped make stage managing possible while dealing with my chronic illness. I am incredibly thankful for my mom who let me call her and just vent so many countless times. I am incredibly thankful for my fur children who were always a pleasant face to see when I came home. Lastly, I am incredibly grateful for my amazing friends and ASM’s who kept me sane during tech rehearsals and were a witness when things got sticky with vindictive directors.

If I have learned anything from my time as an SM. It’s to speak up for yourself. Call people out (nicely) when they are being rude, vindictive and unfair. Anyone who tells you it’s not okay to speak up for yourself and concerns for your own/crew/actor safety is not someone who you should be working with.

So this is me, signing off. I need a break. I am simply exhausted. I am emotionally, physically and mentally drained.

I am making a career change (hopefully), I got a temp job while tying loose ends in the current city I am living and moving back home next year to pursue a true passion and dream of mine I’ve had since I was six that has nothing to do with theatre. Stage Management has always been a back up plan of mine anyway (ironic, right?). I won’t be gone forever and I’ll check the blog frequently for your asks. I will post funny stories as I remember them or as they are submitted. I’m not abandoning you all. I’m simply stepping down from Stage Management for a while, perhaps permanately if my dream job takes off. I just need some time off from theatre. I need time to heal. I need time to recover.

Thank you all for being the best group of followers I could ever ask for. I’m still here for you. I still look forward to reading your submissions and answering your asks.

Talk soon.

~Admin <3

[sky-writes-daydreams]

Fictober Day 14

yes yes I know it’s late. Working third shift isn’t conducive to writing honestly. but It took a while to get this idea. I’m glad I did though. I’m honestly proud of this one.

Prompt: Some people call this wisdom

Fandom: Crit Role

Windowmauk or just them being friends lmao

No warning needed. Just fluff.

The agony in his scream. The crackling of the fire as it ate at his flesh. Those dying eyes. He needed to die. Anyone willing to sacrifice innocent people to a manticore needed to die. He would have killed them in the name of his so called god. Only as he saw that priest burning, More bodies joined him. Bodies Caleb knew well. Those of his family and countless others. How many had he truly killed?  How many people did he feed to the flames? He could still hear his family screaming for him. He tired to cover his ears from their cries but that only made them louder. He couldn’t take this. There was no way to take it back. He couldn’t save them then, he can’t save them now.

A rough grip on his shoulder Made Caleb sit up quickly with a dagger in his hand ready to fight. Had his alarm been tripped? Were they under attack? He looked around and everyone else was still asleep. The lavender colored hand on his shoulder was still there. He looked up to meet the red eyes of Mollymauk to see a gentle smile and concern.

“Sorry… Thought it best to wake you before you honestly screamed.” Caleb nodded a bit, His heart slowing down. It had been a dream. He could see where Molly had been sitting playing with his cards by the fire keeping an eye out.

“Danke…. Sorry If I..”

“No need to be sorry. Just come over here and talk.” Caleb nodded a bit and moved his things closer to where the tiefling was. Molly sat back down and smiled.

“So What was it tonight?”

“What was what?”

“Don’t play Dumb Caleb, We all know better.” Caleb laughed a bit as he sat down. Nott was curled up in Jester’s arms with a little smile. Those two had gotten really close and he was glad of it. Nott needed that. Caleb looked over at the Cards and felt a small shock. The Sun, The High Priest and Death were face up.

“Were you doing a reading on me?”

“Oh um…” Molly smiled a bit.

“Saw you moving over there and decided to ask. The sun is usually a good thing but with you…” Caleb nodded then and sighed. There was no point in lying to this man. Molly had always been there. Even when it happened, Molly had been the one to pull him to his feet and get his head on straight. He’s always close so Caleb doesn’t have to resort to using his fire magic. Caleb gave a little snap to a piece of wood in case though and got the fire back to life.

“It’s about what happened…. With the priest. I keep seeing him in my dreams and hearing that scream as he burnt alive…. And others.” Caleb couldn’t bring his voice up. He could feel his throat trying to restrict on him as the pain he felt in his dream came back.

“I’ve killed Molly… I’ve killed so many times and they all haunt me. I can hear them all screaming for me not to but… I can’t change what I’ve done.”

Molly listened shuffling the remaining cards and gave a small smile. It was sad but full of understanding.

“Caleb, We’ve all killed. There’s not a time in anyone’s life that we haven’t had to kill some part of something or a part of ourselves to survive. Everyone here, Even innocent little Jester has blood on their hands. It’s part of the circle of life sadly. In order for something else to survive, Something or someone has to die.” Molly drew a card off the top then and it was the moon. Molly smiled then and picked up the Sun card and held them out.

“You see these two? The sun and the moon. They’re always in a circle around us. So many people see the sun as life. It brings warmth and light and chases away the demons of the night. The moon though is her opposite. It helps usher in the dark and causes the shadows where demons and fears hide, Yet neither of them could exist without the other. To help this world survive, We need the dark and the light. They exist inside of all of us…. You have your sun Caleb. It’s dimmed but it’s still there. I can see it and I know that little girl of yours can.” Molly gestured over to Nott then and Caleb couldn’t help but smile. It was the truth. Nott had always seen the best of him. She had never left Caleb’s side when he needed her and has often put herself in danger for his sake.

“What about you Molly?” Caleb refocused then and Molly laughed.

“I’m a walking sun, Can’t you tell?” Molly gestured to his clothes then making Caleb chuckle. Molly smiled then and looked back at the cards in his hands.

“I’ve got it too…. I just hope you guys never have to see the Darkness… It’s not something I want to let anyone else see anymore…. Yasha has seen Glimpses…” Molly shook his head then and hid the cards. Caleb smiled then.

“You know, What you just said, some people might call wisdom.”

“Oh? Well I am a fortune teller. Wisdom is my game.” Molly gave Caleb a wink then making the ragged wizard laugh. Molly smiled then and stretched slightly.

“There we go. There’s that light I told you about.” Caleb shook his head gently then and sighed.

“You’re insane.”

“No I’m weird. Big difference.”  It took everything in Caleb not to just die laughing then. Molly knew it too. He had that god forsaken smirk on his face again. A few quiet chuckles escaped as Caleb laid out on his cot then and just smiled.

“Thank you…”

“I’m not going to leave a friend in pain if I can help Caleb. The same you do for us.” He felt molly gently touch his head then as he shifted and Caleb just relaxed. It was an odd feeling for sure. He wasn’t used to kind touches except from Nott.

“So just rest here for tonight. I’ve got this last watch and you’ve got your silver thread. We’re safe.”

“Alright… If you need me…”

“I can wait till you’re rested idiot.” Caleb laughed then and just rested there close to Molly. He could smell the incense Molly carried in a little pouch on his side and the oddly calming smell of just Molly under it. His gentle fingers combing through Caleb’s unruly locks and the crackle of the fire close by, It was just enough to lure him back into sleep.

The next morning, Nott woke up early, Intending to check on Caleb. She hadn’t meant to fall asleep with Jester but Nott got tired during their drawing lesson.  She looked across the dying fire and saw something beyond adorable. Molly had his back against a stump he had rolled over for his watch eyes closed in the last hour, with his hand in Caleb’s hair still gently rubbing circles. Caleb was curled up under his blanket and coat holding his book close dead to the world. Nott knew he had been further away from everyone so She knew he must have woken up at some point probably from a nightmare. Still… It was worth seeing them both at peace like this. Nott got the small piece of paper she had been learning to draw on and sat down close by. There was no reason to let this scene go to waste after all. Jester could help her get the final details in later once Nott got the faces.

[horner88breen-blog]

Can One Truly Leave the Sex Industry

Inside my 5-6 years in the escorting world, I just need seen one woman completely get out of the sex industry. Others, a small minority, may leave apparently industry but typically revert back to selling themselves after a few weeks/months/years. I will never forgot the words, Shell be back, said along with a Madame (brothel/escort business owner) at an establishment I worked at overseas. Consider the 63 after a popular young woman decided it was her last day in the industry, and she wanted to do pursue her new normal job and boyfriend. Shell be backhow discouraging, yet later I realized how real the statement actually was. Paulina Leaving the information mill NEVER without war. Paulina is the only former-escort I understand who has left the industry entirely. She has managed so far successfully, but it wasnt easy at in the beginning. I came to know her intimately only after she left the industry and when she almost fell back to it. However, when she was still in the industry and we were working together we hardly mingled. Having been the odd girl who stayed away from the casual sex, drugs, and party scene, so generally she, like many working girls, found little commonality with my lifestyle. Paulina was a stupendous South America girl who immigrated towards the West at a young age. I witnessed her loss-of-innocence in her escorting days, which happens when she involved herself with heavy partying and living with another escort (a match for disaster). She ended up getting involved through expensive drug (cocaine) habit, which looks the drug of choice for elite escorts/clients. Thankfully, her experimenting phase was short-lived, and ended in one year. One thing that Paulina and I have done have in common was our conflicting values of traditional and modern. She was raised on the inside West, yet she still held on to her traditional South American values (her cultural values conflicted with the individualistic, care-free values she was living as the prostitute). Selling sex is often not problematic, but rather the lifestyle frequently related to high-class prostitutes is damaging (excessive partying, excess shallowness). She'd quit the industry, and completely got away from drug treatments and partying. She called me from your nowhere one day, and wanted to. At first I couldnt discover why she would suddenly want to meet me, but later she told me that I was the only person she hoped to trust from this industry. In her view, I was someone who probably would not tempt her back up in her bad habits, yet I could relate to her because I was an escort overly. I was flattered, and determined to help her stay off from prostitution, even though I wasnt in order to leave myself. She had deep emotional scars from being a prostitute, and think it is hard confide in anyone. She had met a lovely man, but he previously had no idea about her past and she or he wanted to maintain it to remain that way. Whenever she got depressed or felt the urge to return to selling herself, she called me for comfort. I havent seen her in over one year, since she lives overseas where That i used to live. Currently, she's still out of the business, and a wedding soon to the love of her lifetime. She is my hopebecause if she could continue to be away from the industry, then a genuine effort . hope. Unfortunately, it is extremely easy to fall back into prostitution The pattern Ive observed has become common: women leave the industry to pursue love, and they return when that love failed. Another woman I am aware did quit the industry, however she recently admitted that she is returning to escorting. Why? Because she broke up with the person she wanted. Months ago I remember her saying If I wasnt with my boyfriend, then I would personally still be selling myself. This is classic of women trying to depart the industry, and perhaps the most depressing part of computer. Over the years, I met countless women whove returned to prostitution after a failed relationship. Well known girls say they wasted their youth in their failed relationships when they might have been essentially exploiting their youthfulness by selling themselves. During the night these women return to sex work, their hearts are dented. Yes, I have seen many broken hearted women returning to selling their bodies, yet sadly it looks like theyve also lost their souls. When falling in love with a potential partner, an escort to be able to ask herself: Is he worth this method? Is love, itself, enough to quit her autonomy and employment? The men she rejects are individuals cannot leave her with financial freedom, even though they may be willing to adore and treat her decent. Other escorts choose the latter, which is to avoid relationships altogether and focus on man or women. How often do escorts leave the industry when a man is NOT in photographs? I have yet to stumbled upon a prostitute who leaves the industry sector for her very own intuition. Stick to ask myself this question: Do I would like to leave because I want love? Perhaps, as most of us desire love and global recognition. Sadly, acceptance is only granted when people conform to whats frequent. And of course, being a sex worker is out-of-the-norm in modern societies, thus furthering us beyond your societies embrace. But again, it doesnt have staying this form. There are people who fight these oppressive norms that marginalize sex workers its not a very bad thing to differ. But being outside the norms of society requires lots of strength. There is absolutely no social space allocated for prostitutes. As a result, we face tremendous pressure to adhere to the normative ways of living life (such as marriage, owning a home, etc). Although Used to quit for a short period when I realized i was engaged, I never mentally prepared myself that I've been finished is not industry. I still haven't. Its a question that Ive been avoiding to answer: when will I quit? Does an individual even to help quit? Would I remaining? I used to want to quit, and I told myself that I would personally quit selling my body after I'm finished my graduate data. Regardless, I dont feel that Im ready to make now. Enjoy aspects of my job, but I just do not wish the implications (the stigma, the degradation of the industry, the legalities, etc). Fear of leaving sex-work is unique. Escorts in Manchester of emotions. Im aware that the stigma is damaging me, but when times are great I tend to ignore the damage Im executing. At times, sex work doesnt appear like a problem for some escorts, and for others, it is deeply damaging psychologically. But overall, one cannot deny the problem of hunting live in the world where ones identity is constantly hidden and condemned. Social Darwinism, the idea that started this complete survival of the fittest competition among society is a false notion, the idea may be very real in modern society. Im aware that competition is simply a socially constructed concept, yet sadly I feel deeply pressured to engage in this race in society. I fear that if I dont sell myself, I will lose out in this particular competition. This is exactly what needs to change, I have to let go of the pressures of mainstream the population. Why do I want to participate this shallow competition primarily? This is increase in a cold society (Western-Liberal societies) that puts increased progress, individualism, competition, status, and monetary wealth. This is what drove me to the Social Sciences as an area of study: society deeply impacts how people think and react. I assign other reasons why I entered into prostitution on social stress. Once youre in the sex industry, it is very hard to depart. A woman I know is wanting her much better to pursue the usual job but admits she gets the pressure to get back escorting. Its too easy (escorting), and also the money is quick. Her mind, like most escorts, becomes tainted whilst haunting fact: a few hours or an evening of escorting can pay all the bills that would take 1-2 weeks of hard act on a normal job. Did any of folks imagine growing accustomed to our lifestyles? Did we ever imagine that wed donrrrt slave to our own addiction for fast-money? Of course not. A wonderful friend of mine is a former receptionist in intercourse party industry. She told me how she was inclined to become an escort, however she changed her mind once she saw the reality: escorts may make lots of money, but at the high cost of our emotions. Provides you with ask myself time and time againWas it this?

[whatsthecraicwithvideogames]

My Definitive Ranking Of All 21 Confidants in Persona 5 (yep it’s a list you just gotta deal)

Persona 5 has some of the best characters in any game I've ever played. Over the 100 hours spent in the game, a lot of these characters are significantly fleshed out and you feel a genuine bond with them. Some not so much. So, because the world needed it so much, here is my official 100% accurate ranking of all those characters. No debate needed. This is the only ranking you will ever need. Enjoy.

21 Yuuki Mishima

Mishima seems to think that just because he figured out that you were a Phantom Thief that he is entitled a spot in your friend group.No. GET YOUR OWN FRIENDS MISHIMA. There are plenty of characters less interesting than Mishima, but none that annoyed me more. It may be completely unjustified, but I just need him out of my life. More specifically, I need him out of my hotel room in Hawaii. Go home, Mishima. No one wants you here.

20 Toranosuke Yoshida

The main issue that afflicts the majority of the people at the bottom of the list is dullness and being underdeveloped. Yoshida happens to be the former. Maybe it's just because I'm young and ignorant, but when I'm trying to save the world from its inevitable ruin, I'm not really all that interested in a disgraced politician. Call me simple minded.

19 Chihaya Mifune

Now we come to the underdeveloped. Although it must be said that Chihaya could have had an amazing storyline that I just didn't see, as her character was so one note and uninteresting that I became equally uninterested in what was going on with her and I didn't pay a whole lot of attention. So I apologize if I've missed an amazing character, but she should have made a better impression sooner.

18 Shinya Oda

I have little feelings towards Shinya. He's a little higher on the list due to his storyline being a bit sympathetic but there isn't really much to his character other than the fact that he's a kid who's good at a video game. I was invested in making sure that he got fed, but that's about as far as it goes.

17 Munehisa Iwai

I am currently holding a bit of a grudge against Iwai at the minute, as he was the only confidant I didn't manage to max out on my new game plus run, basically meaning I wasted about an extra 70 hours BUT HEY. That's not his fault. He also suffers from side character dullness, but he gets bumped up the list a bit because we had a lot of weird dates together that I'll never forget. What other game allows you to go to the planetarium and an all you can eat buffet with a yakuza member? In Persona 5, even the boring characters have something to offer. Some more than others.

16 Igor

There isn't really much to say about Igor to be honest. Of all the people on this list, he’s the one you have the least opportunity to get to know, but there's just something about him. Maybe it's his nose? Or perhaps the eyebrows? Either way, I like his style and he managed to crawl up a few spaces.

15 Haru Okumura

We arrive at another character who took a little while to grow on me. Originally I thought she was just as boring as Makoto, but at least Haru has some semblance of a personality. She's awfully sweet and her storyline is very sympathetic. She struggles under the weight of her responsibility to run a company, and is conflicted by her arranged marriage to a man she has no interest in. I felt genuinely invested in making sure she was okay and safe, even if her metaverse outfit is a bit dumb. Nobody's perfect.

14 Ichiko Ohya

If you're not familiar with Ohya, just imagine a really incompetent Jessica Jones and you're pretty much there. Meaning, she's drunk all the time. She drinks away the guilt she harbours from losing her best friend on the job, but she still remains a fierce journalist who doesn't crack under pressure and is determined to find out the truth. She just happens to smell like gin while she's doing it.

13 Sae Niijima

Sae is cool in the most normal way that you'll find in Persona 5. She's a prosecutor, working against against all odds to become the top in her field. She may have been working slightly against us in the beginning, but she was a formidable foe; working with an open mind and a level head, she eventually began to believe our stories about our time with the Phantom Thieves. Sae is rad without needing a cool outfit (@Makoto) and we should all be more like her.

12 Makoto Niijima

I'm not even going to apologise. Makoto just barely made it above her much more impressive sister, and the only reason she did is because her whole deal in the metaverse is pretty badass. However, and let me say this loud for you Makoto, just because your persona is a motorcycle, DOES. NOT. MAKE. YOU. THE BOSS. Once she joins your team, every plan comes from her, even though I am the leader of the Phantom Thieves. I have tried really quite hard to understand why everybody loves Makoto so much. I even romanced her on my second playthrough so I could get a different perspective on her. It helped nothing. I really tried to give her the benefit of the doubt, but anywhere outside of the metaverse, she is dull and boring. Number 1 Waifu she is not, I'm afraid.

11 Hifumi Togo

Before Futaba came along, I was all set to romance Hifumi. To be fair I felt she was the best of a bad bunch, but let that not detract from her good qualities. She's a shogi master (or at least she thinks she is), and yet she still struggles with something that a lot of us can identify with: she is desperately trying to live up to her mother's unachievable high expectations. All Hifumi wants is to play shogi, and when she plays shogi, she plays shogi. She's a bit crazy but we love her anyway, and there's no one else I’d rather play shogi in a church with. Now just to figure out what shogi actually is…

10 Morgana

What would a JRPG be without a resident weird humanoid animal thing? Mediocre, that's what. Morgana is an integral part to the whole structure of the game, in more ways than one. Without him, our character would have no idea about how anything works in the Metaverse. Yes, he can be literally the most irritating presence on the planet whenever I'm trying to go out and Morgana is telling me to go to bed (YOU’RE NOT THE BOSS OF ME MORGANA), but deep down I know he's doing it out of love. Sometimes I wish Morgana loved me a little less but hey, you can't pick your family.

9 Goro Akechi

Okay, look. I know what you're thinking. Akechi is a little bit problematic. I know this. But he's just so adorable before all that! That's pretty much that only reason I have for having him so far up the list. His little face in his character profile is just so cute that you can't help but love him. Also the way he yells ‘PERSONAAAAAAGHHHH’ is badass and I can't hear it enough times. I forgive the Ace Detective of all crimes he has committed.

8 Futaba Sakura

A couple of months ago, Futaba would most likely have topped my list. She was the first girl I romanced in Persona 5. I had spent the whole game waiting for someone to come along and sweep me off my (digital) feet. It was beginning to look like I was going to have to settle with Hifumi- and then Futaba came along. She was a hacker and a gamer: my perfect waifu. Her romancing scenes are very sweet and I remained enamoured with her throughout my whole playthrough. After playing new game plus that changed. I went in with the intention of romancing someone different, and boy is Futaba different without those rose tinted glasses on. Her inability to do anything on her own is, while understandable, it's frustrating at best. She's still pretty high on the list though, as I'll never forget our time together, and also she's saved me countless times during combat that she will forever be elevated to God tier in the Metaverse. I owe her a debt I can never repay.

7 Tae Takemi

I won't lie to you. A lot of Takemi’s charm and appeal lies in her character design. The idea of a cool, punk rock doctor who supplies us with our own extreme healing products is great. Even better is that she's got the attitude to match. Confident in her skills but still dating enough to go rogue and have you be her guinea pig for new medicines she's developing, Takemi is a doctor you would want as a friend, but DEFINITELY not treating you. Unless you enjoy drinking mysterious liquids and passing out for hours on end. In which case be my guest.

6 Sadayo Kawakami

Ah, Kawakami. She sure does have it rough. Teacher by day, maid by night, she's a very sympathetic character, although she may not start out that way. At first glance she just seems like your typical extremely incompetent teacher- which she is. However the deeper into her storyline you go, the more you start to understand why she is the way she is. She ends up being quite a sweet person, not to mention her skills enable you to have more of the most important resource in Persona 5: time. Coincidentally, that's the one thing it takes for her to grow on you. Just give her a couple of days, and you'll learn to love her for who she is. A hot mess.

5 Sojiro Sakura

I don't think it’s an overstatement to say that the entire plot of the game would not have happened if not for Sojiro. For some unexplained reason, he agrees take in our main character who has just been put on parole, and it's that act that eventually brings our whole crew together. Even when he discovers that he has a phantom thief right under his roof, he sticks by you and even lets you hold meetings right there in his café. He goes from standoffish jerk to ‘dad we never had’ in a beautiful transformation that is one of the best progressions of a relationship in the game. If it wasn’t for his curious combination of coffee and curry for breakfast every morning, there's no way we could have completed our rehabilitation and saved the world from ruin. Sojiro literally saved the entire world (don't question it he totally did).

4 Ann Takamaki

Of all the characters on this list, Ann is the one that surprised me the most. She's pretty, blonde and a model. In video games, TV, movies; these things tend to be a placeholder for a personality, so really I expected nothing more from Ann: and boy did she prove me wrong. She is kind, loyal and is extremely strong willed. She suffered through sexual harassment at the hands of her teacher, her best friend's attempted suicide, and the her career as a model being sabotaged by a spiteful competitor. Through it all, however, she remains a positive force on the team and one of your characters closest friends from beginning to end. We all deserve someone like Ann in our lives.

3 Yusuke Kitagawa

Yusuke is another character that I love purely because every conversation with him is golden, particularly when leveling up your relationship with him. Throughout his journey to find himself as an artist, I joined him at an art exhibit, a romantic boat ride on a lake, and I posed as our Lord and Savior himself Jesus Christ on the crucifix as a way to inspire the creativity within Yusuke. Some may say that Yusuke’s best quality is his voice, but those people simply can't appreciate what he brings to the table and I simply have no time for them. He is a rare flower and I will defend him at every given opportunity.

2 Caroline and Justine (The Wardens)

Before starting my new game plus playthrough, these girls wouldn't have even been on this list, because I had no idea that they were even confidants until my second time around. The way you level up your confidant ranking with them is by fusing personas with a certain ability, per their request. The only thing I dislike about that is that you don't get to spend as much time with them as I'd like. They are both as entertaining as they are enigmatic, and though it may seem strange to have them so high up, everytime I brought them a new persona, they stole a little bit more of my heart. By force. They demanded I give it to them. But it still counts all the same.

1 Ryuji Sakamoto

I don't care what anyone says, this game would not be half as interesting or funny without Ryuji in it. There are a lot of people who would probably put Ryuji last on this list, due to his loud nature and penchant for yelling in public about how you and all your friends are the Phantom Thieves. But that's all part of his charm! Ryuji owes a lot of his likeability to his voice actor, Max Mittelman, as he somehow manages to be comically over the top while still remaining believable for his character. There are multiple times during the game where you'll have to pick who to hang out with at certain story moments, with the intention really being that you hang out with the girl you're romancing, but every single time I chose Ryuji. Every situation with him is comedy gold. Ryuji will forever be my number 1, and nobody will ever change my mind on that.

[acaseforpencils]

Jason Chatfield.

Bio: I grew up in the far flung suburbs of Perth, in Western Australia, and used to spend my paper route money on MAD Magazines (I cheaped-out and stole my dentist’s waiting room issues of the New Yorker. I think I was the only kid who looked forward to going to the dentist).

I moved to New York in 2014 and started pitching to the mag in person. I’m not sure Bob liked me, so I went back to pitching via email. Then I went in on his last day and finally sold my first piece. I feel like it was his final f—k you to the magazine. “Here! Have a Chatfield!” 

Find this print here!

The cartoon was a goofy play on Vlad the Impaler. 

I didn’t sell to the magazine again until last month, but I’ve had a handful sold as dailies. And I’m published in MAD often, so they’ve clearly done away with any of their standards.

When I’m not drawing gag cartoons I write and draw a syndicated legacy strip called Ginger Meggs which I took over 10 years ago. It’s been around since 1921 and now appears daily in 34 countries. He’s kind of an Australian version of Dennis the Menace, except he predates him by about 30 years.

Tools of choice: For drawing/roughs, I use a Prismacolor Turquoise clutch pencil with a red lead and try to find some paper with a little bit of tooth. The mixed media pads at Blick do the trick nicely.

I ink using a Uni-ball Vision Elite Stick Roller Ball Pen… or a Pigma Micron 03. 

DO NOT use the Uni-Ball Vision Rollerball Pens, Fine Point (0.7mm) if you’re traveling. They explode on planes. And ruin your copy of The New Yorker.

For a wash, I just use watercolor and whatever brush is lying around. Nothing fancy. There’s a scanning app on my phone called “Adobe Scan” which does a nice job of scanning line-art into a PDF when I’m out of the studio and need to email in a quick rough.

I use a Wacom Mobilestudio Pro for finished artwork. I like to get out of the studio and work from a bar or restaurant, so it helps that I can take that with me. I use a little glove that I got on Amazon so I don’t grease up the screen, and the felt-tip nib that comes in the pen-holder makes the friction between the stylus and the screen more like pencil on paper. Unfortunately, they’re not waterproof, as I found on a recent vacation…

My wife plays piano and sings at bars around the city so I’ll often sit at the bar during her sets and draw. Digital/Traditional depends on what deadlines are most pressing. (She has a weekly residency in Astoria —if anyone’s interested in going, let me know!)

A lot of people email me for advice about tablets —I’ve been trialling/demo-ing Wacom products for 15 years— I think they’re great. If you’re married to doing stuff by hand but want to colour digitally, you can get a decent tablet without going broke. Depends on your workflow.

Writing Desk: My wife and I were living upstairs in 5A when my neighbour in 4B died. He was a brilliant poet and had an incredible old writing desk. It’s the only thing that was left in the apartment, so I’m looking after it ’til his grandson moves in at the end of our lease. I work for countless hours at this old thing. It’s beat up, but I’ve patched it together enough that it won’t collapse and bury me mid-brushstroke. I’ve stuck a few of my favourite toons on the top of it.

Tool I wish I could use better: My brain. It really is a sack of cats. Whenever I want to sit and do work, it clocks off. Then it comes up with a pearler of an idea at 3 in the morning when I’m trying to sleep. I write it down in my phone, but autocorrect makes it indecipherable by morning.

I like working with my writer friend, Scott. We both do comedy at night and have developed a nice short-hand. We also seem to have the same library of references and can build on each others’ premises, which tames my sack-of-cats.

Tool I wish existed: The Deadline Extender.® I’ve never missed a deadline, but that said… an extra 3 or 4 minutes to allow for a terrible wifi connection, or a errant scanner wouldn’t go astray.

Also: The Deadline Extender® PREMIUM: Let’s you go back in time to when you were procrastinating and slap yourself in the face. $30 p/month.

Tricks: Ok, well. This is going to sound a bit Dalton Trumbo, but bear with me: I do my best work…in the bath.The most productive 3 hours of my week are during Scotchbath Sunday; an immoveable chunk of time on Sunday evening whereby I lock myself in the bathroom, run a bath, lug my drawing stuff onto a bit of wood that sits over the bath, and just write and draw. Nothing else. I write weeks worth of my syndicated comic strip (Ginger Meggs), I write New Yorker cartoons, scribble up roughs for dailies— and when I feel like I’ve earned it (usually 2 hours in) I tap the side of the bath three times, and my wife peels herself from her piano and I unlock the door to a nice big glass of scotch. It’s a hell of a carrot on a stick to work towards when you’re stuck. (PS. Lest you think I’m some kind of Don Draper-era misogynist; the scotch reward part was her idea. I think she realized it keeps me in the bath and out of her way.)

Anyway. It’s a great way to switch gears creatively. It’s like being on an aeroplane. No wifi, no phones — just the work you need to get done. Get involved. #ScotchBathSunday.

Oh! And if I get my deadlines done for the week, I have a small budget for a solo lunch somewhere where I can eat cheese and draw. I really didn’t know cheese ’til I moved to America. (And yes, I’ve already been to Wisconsin. Good Lord.)

Tips? I always tell younger artists to not even think about touching a drawing tablet until they’ve learned to draw by hand first. Otherwise they’ll always be drawing away, knowing they have the insurance of the CTRL+Z key at their disposal if they screw up a line. That’s not a good habit to have when you’re working to a deadline. But, once you do know how to draw, by all means dive head-first into the digital realm. It’s incredible. Procreate, Sketchbook or Photoshop are all great.

Misc: One of the hangovers from working in advertising illustration is that I’ve had to be a bit of a chameleon style-wise for the last 15 years and haven’t allowed myself to just settle into one style. Lately, I’ve just decided to say “Bugger it!” and try and find a loose, consistent style that I’m comfortable with, that’s an apt conduit to my silly ideas.

I always loved George Booth’s line, and his ability to create a scene with so much movement but just at the right moment in time. Also Sam Gross’ dark, hilarious cartoons with perfect line-economy. And I’d give my left arm (I draw with my right) to know how Barry Blitt has so much control with his washes…

Chatfield’s portrait of Sam Gross

While I’m geeking out, I love seeing younger cartoonists find their feet and thrive in a style that just feels like they’re speaking to you— Ellis J. Rosen, Sofia Warren, Hilary Fitzgerald Campbell, Jason Katzenstein, Amy Kurzweil, and a seemingly endless list of talented younger artists who are putting in the work are a big inspiration. 

I know it should be Steig or Thurber or Addams, but my favourite cartoonist is Sergio Aragones.

I was always so enamoured of MAD growing up and studied the lines of Jack Davis, Mort Drucker, Al Jaffee and the Usual Gang of Idiots. I remember being so frustrated I couldn’t even come close to getting my work to look like theirs, but I think I found a style somewhere in between when I fell short. 

I think Wil McPhail’s poses are masterful, and I wish I knew how how the hell he did that. One day I’ll trudge up to England and knock on his door to ask him. I find myself doubled-over at John Cuneo’s Instagram, and Ed Steed’s absurdly funny gags. I have a slew of toons I’ve torn out of years’ worth of magazines and taped to my studio wall, or my zillion year-old writing desk. I’m constantly humbled by how generous and welcoming the existing crop of New Yorker cartoonists have been to a goofy Aussie immigrant — Joe Dator, Matt Diffee and Pat Byrnes, Mort Gerberg and an ever-growing list of prolific, talented cartoonists who make the 99% weekly rejection tolerable.

I’ve made some of my closest friends and have been lucky enough to meet my cartooning heroes through the National Cartoonists Society. I got to spend a lot of time with Sergio at the Lakes International Comic Art Festival in the UK last year which made my year. We were signing together for a whole afternoon and I spent more time geeking out with him than signing.

Okay. Enough drooling. Sorry.

I’m a fan of cartoonists.

Website, etc. I have a weekly podcast where I throw around ideas for New Yorker cartoons with a fellow comedian and writer, Scott Dooley. It’s called “Is There Something In This?” It’s a bit of fun. We don’t take ourselves too seriously, but we do take the art of writing gags very seriously. It’s an extremely difficult skill to master, and we’re virtually zygotes at it. We have lots of listeners now, which is bewildering. Talking about drawing is like dancing about architecture, but here we are. Anyway you can find it on iTunes or wherever you waste time listening to podcasts.

My website is jasonchatfield.com and my comedy stuff is up at jasonchatfieldcomedy.com  ( I’ve been doing stand-up comedy for 11 years. If anyone wants to come see a show, hit me up! I’ll put you on the door). My instagram is @jasonchatfield. I’m still trolling the British chap who has the @jasonchatfield handle on Twitter to no avail. To that end, I’m @jason_chatfield on Twitter.

If you want more art supplies in your life, A Case for Pencils is on Instagram and Twitter.  You can also find me, Jane (the person who created/edits this blog), on Twitter here, which is where I stick the paintings that I’ve been doing instead of interviewing people consistently (I needed to balance working on other people’s work and my own work!). Oh, and If you’d like to support this blog, which is always very appreciated, there are many different ways to do so, which you can find here!

[backtoyourownworld]

A very long read

You’re too young to be an alcoholic. That’s the first thing I hear when I try to share my experiences with someone. I had always liked a drink. From a sip to a chug of my dad’s beer, to helping mum polish off a bottle of vodka; alcohol was in my blood. That line between casual drink out with the mates and waking up on a park bench after a three-day bender is so fine it might as well not exist. Not to me at least. I learnt early on that I lack self-control when it comes to that mind-numbing, fucking fantastic substance that is alcohol. While schoolmates were worrying about GCSEs (exams) and relationships, I was fretting about the new alarms in the local Co-op. What was I to do without my fix of stolen Henry Weston’s cider (chosen because it was least visible from the checkouts). I made a decent living fencing my stolen goods to classmates. I felt like a real fucking entrepreneur selling stolen sandwiches and chocolate bars to fund my drinking. The good stuff was always behind the tills, impossible to pinch and stuff in a schoolbag.

I was promised amazing things for my GCSEs. My pick of schools throughout the country, top-class universities fighting over me. I don’t mean this boastfully, but I was always aware of my intelligence. Even as a primary school pupil I read from the book box two years above me. I couldn’t help it. I was voracious in my desire to learn. 

Things went alright for the first few years of secondary school. I did the work, answered the questions, got the grades. Then the anger came. Call it what you will: teen angst/acting out/attention seeking. Whatever it was, it was real to me. I remember so much anger. So much hate. I was fifteen when things really started getting seriously out of control. All that anger had to come out somewhere. And I chose fighting as my release. Fuelled by a few litres of energy drink a day, I had numerous fights throughout my teen years. I do remember one thing: I always retaliated, I never struck first. Yet the sheer number of times my name was mentioned in incident reports led to me being suspended. God, those flying fists and scratches, and biting felt so good, so primal. It was such a release.

My grades slipped. As became Cs and then Es. And then I stopped caring. Meetings with parents and tutors washed over me like rain. I was numb. I didn’t give a shit about university applications or apprenticeships. All that mattered to me was how deep I could cut. Maybe the next time I would do it deep enough to make it last. It’s hard to care about classes and grades when your mind is focused on the three-inch gash on your leg that you stitched up yourself. The empty water bottle filled up with stolen vodka became a staple in my schoolbag. Mum never seemed to notice how diluted her vodka became. Or the countless other spirits I sampled from the drinks cabinet. Campari and Advocaat. The odd smelling drinks you don’t even know what to mix with so you just chug from the bottle and hope for the best. I won’t deny I enjoyed my celebrity as the drunk girl in school. The girl who could knick you anything from the shop as long as it wasn’t too close to the tills. But while people grew tired of me stumbling in the school hallways, falling off science lab stools, puking between classes; I craved more. Passing out alone in my room wasn’t enough. I embarrassed myself at parties. On one occasion I even ate a piece of pork from a bowl of my own vomit. 

I watched my friends complete their university applications, receive their offers and sort out student finance. Meanwhile I was stuck. What future did a pathetic drunk have. I was convinced I wouldn’t make it to the end of the year so why bother taking up a place at university. But I could never go through with it. I didn’t die. Despite my attempts I was still alive at eighteen. I spent a year at the mercy of the NHS, stuck in purgatory waiting for appointments that never fucking materialised. Don’t get me wrong, the NHS is a wonderful system for healthcare. But not for mental healthcare. A year of my life wasted. A year where I did actually want to accomplish something. I gave up on the NHS like they gave up on me. In a fit of enthusiasm I enrolled myself in college. I finally, three years late, finished my A Levels and earned my place at a Russell Group university.

Being a Fresher at university is like taking a starving man to an all-you-can-eat buffet and saying you can only eat one thing. Temptation is everywhere. And I don’t mean that religious bullshit where it’s somehow noble to turn down any vices. No, I mean the temptation where you find yourself literally salivating in the alcohol aisle of the local supermarket. Standing there with your bread and milk willing the queue to go down faster so you can get away from the cheap lager and that goddamned vodka. Most people’s first year at university is spent intoxicated in one way or another. It’s a fact of university life. That’s how I started. I’d never lived away from home before. Never had the freedom to down vodka with my morning Shreddies. But god, first year was a revelation. Everyone else had it under control. I thought I did too. College had been alright, I’d got my grades while drinking at socially acceptable levels. Why would uni be any harder. Freshers Week. Fucking Freshers Week. I made it to the third night before shit hit the fan. I remember it so vividly despite being so drunk my flatmates tried to convince me not to leave pre-drinks. It was Wild Night. I know because I still have the t-shirt. I was in the smoking section of the Students’ Union club (I don’t even smoke), decked out in my wolf shirt and wild backcombed hair. I climbed the railings. A twenty foot drop onto concrete below me. People screamed. I laughed. Then I remember crying as security dragged me back over the railings and shipped me off to the local alcohol treatment centre - they didn’t know where else to send me. 

I avoided my flatmates after that. Stopped going to lectures. I only left my room to walk to the nearby corner shop and stock up with a couple bottles of vodka and lemonade. The shame I felt for my behaviour was so easy to squash down with booze. My diet became vodka and crisps. I turned almost nocturnal, choosing to venture out of my room in the early hours when I was less likely to encounter my flatmates. I stopped being invited to pre-drinks. I don’t blame them. I was no longer a fun drunk, falling off chairs and singing off-key. I was a puking, punching, mess of a person. Somehow, I managed to pass first year. Despite my self-sabotage I was allowed onto fieldwork for my degree over that first summer. A month in Germany. Four weeks surrounded by cheap beer. I barely remember that month. A few moments do stand out though. Threatening to jump in a lake. Going for a midnight walk through a bramble patch. Finding myself on train tracks. 

I don’t even know what possessed me to attempt second year. I knew I wasn’t prepared. Knew I wasn’t in the right frame of mind to attend university. But still, I went for it. I thought I was doing so well, but I was lying to myself. It was so easy to sleep in and miss a lecture here and there. I’d joined a few societies to help me meet people with similar interests. The socials were great at first. Like-minded people coming together for a casual drink and chat in the pub. And then the socials weren’t enough to satisfy my cravings. Six pints at a social was followed by twelve pints from the off-licence on the way home. Then lager wasn’t enough. I needed something stronger. I remember calculating the price-per-unit for every type of alcohol in my local offy. Their off-brand vodka was the best value for money. Combined with the cheapest lemonade, it was the drunk’s cocktail. Consuming so much alcohol isn’t without its consequences. I put on weight. I had stomach issues. My skin was greasy. And I stank. Vodka was literally oozing out of every pore on my body. The rare lecture I did attend, people would ask me if I’d been drinking. They could smell it on me from ten feet away.

I don’t remember much of the day I slit my wrist. I knew I wanted to hurt myself but I don’t think I meant for it to go that far. I took a bottle of vodka along with me for my bath. Hot water and alcohol make for very thin blood. I recall trying to clean the bathtub after and then phoning a taxi to take me to A&E. After that it’s a blur of disapproving doctors and concerned nurses. Nine stitches later and I was home with instructions to see a therapist. The bottle of vodka was still in the bathroom. Bless my housemate; he’d tried his best to clean up all the blood and throw out my razor. I got sedated with Valium after that. Like a scene from a 1950s mental institution. All that did was numb me even more. I became like a zombie, barely able to get out of bed to wash or feed myself. The only thing I left the house for was to buy more booze. Not long after the bathtub incident I phoned my parents in a drunken mess and begged them for help. They drove 200 miles and took me home that night.

What followed was a year of private counselling and cognitive behavioural therapy to help me learn healthy coping mechanisms. It was decided I should go teetotal. I thought that year out had fixed me, that I was finally a functioning member of society. How wrong I was. Not four weeks into my second attempt at second year and I was drinking heavily again. I get this thought in my head: fuck it all. This is what drives me when I’ve been drinking. What makes me walk out my front door with a bottle in my hand and do something stupid. And it was inevitable that sooner or later my actions would result in serious consequences. 

The worst night of my life was 18th March 2018. I got drunk as usual. But it was supposed to be my final night of drinking. I was going to give it up completely. I’d bought some whiskey. I have a terrible history with whiskey, it gets me violently drunk very fast. I got hammered. That thought of “fuck it all” came into my head and I decided to throw myself into the local river. Once again, I don’t remember much of that night. I do remember drinking the whiskey in my room and then leaving my house. But I don’t remember grabbing the knife or talking to that woman on the bridge. The next thing I do remember is a policeman handcuffing me and shoving me into the back of a police van. That night in the cells was one of the worst of my life. I was like a madwoman, banging my head off the walls and scratching my arms till they bled. I was charged with possession of a bladed article in a public place. Four years in prison. I could have been sent down for that long. But whatever deity there is saved me and let me off with a deal. I see an addiction counsellor instead. No charge, no criminal record. 

At the time of writing this I am still drinking, but I have seriously cut down and am on my way to complete sobriety. God knows I got fucking lucky. 

I just hope one day my luck doesn’t run out. 

Thank you for sticking with me for this long and reading to the end. If you’re going through anything, or just want to talk, my ask is always open.

[1701entrp]

Diets Are a Waste of Time - Just Eat Healthy to Maintain Good Health and a Nice Physique

After New Year's this previous year I strolled into Barnes and Respectable to look at their new deliveries since I needed to utilize a present card I had gotten as a Christmas present. What I found in the New Deliveries area was not what I anticipated. There was only eating routine books!! What's more, I'm not in any event, adorning about this by any means. There wasn't one new delivery in the whole area. This was truly dispiriting on the grounds that I'm a devoted peruser and I expected to track down a wide assortment of books that were simply delivered centered around various subjects as there consistently is.

Less get-togethers Year's I discovered. Once special times of year are finished and we enter another year individuals are devoted to eating solid and working out more in light of the fact that they neglected to do as such the earlier year (and the year prior to that, etc). The miserable thing is these individuals normally join a rec center and start eating less for the initial 2-3 weeks after the New Year and afterward surrender since they aren't getting results after a brief time frame period. I'm certain Barnes and Honorable isn't the solitary book shop who does this get-togethers New Year. All things considered, they are ready to go to bring in cash and what better approach to get going another year than offering a plenty of diet books to unassuming individuals who come by the thousand searching for them?

This entire scene was extremely disturbing most definitely. As somebody who has a decent comprehension of sound living I will say that diets are a finished exercise in futility and cash. Diets are not long haul programs that emphasis on generally great wellbeing. They typically comprise of scaling back your calorie admission to outrageous levels, eating only a particular food classification for a drawn out timeframe, eating frozen arranged suppers (regularly sold by similar organizations putting out the book or a subsidiary, etc. Indeed, there are such countless various types of diets out there it's not appropriate at all. Every one guarantees you'll shed pounds and feel great. What they don't advise you for clear reasons is that 95% of individuals who go on consumes less calories recover all their weight once they become ill and worn out on the eating routine or when the eating regimen is finished. The weight reduction industry is a multi-billion dollar industry and is amazingly productive to the organizations that sell diet plans, pills, and suppers. Have you at any point perused the fixings on a Nutrisystem bundle or some other arranged supper? In the event that you have a comprehension of every fixing I'd be stunned since the vast majority don't know the first thing, including myself.

The straightforward reality is that diets are transient projects and generally exceptionally undesirable. Slicing your caloric admission to outrageous levels can leave you feeling feeble and deny you of numerous supplements you need to keep up with great wellbeing. In the event that you really need to keep a sound weight and a solid safe framework you need to figure out how to eat sound and exercise and make it part of your way of life not as a momentary fix to your present weight issue. Eating sound and practicing is a very wide point however here are a few rules to pass by on the off chance that you genuinely care about your wellbeing and need to keep a solid weight:

1) Get something like 7-8 hours of rest each night-This truly relies upon the individual and these are simply essential rules. A few group require less rest than this and a few group require more. Just you realize how much rest you need to feel stimulated the following day. It's obviously true that lack of sleep can prompt weight acquire. Assuming you need a solid insusceptible framework and need to keep a sound weight ensure you get a lot of rest each night.

2) Don't skip breakfast-This is really the main supper of the day. At the point when you rest around evening time you're fasting since you're not devouring any food while you rest. Assuming you need to accelerate your digestion it is basic that you don't skip breakfast since this gets your digestion rolling first thing. You'll see you'll have more energy for the duration of the morning and it will truly assist with consuming fat over the long haul. I'm not going to suggest what you ought to eat yet ensure it's solid. Entire grains, a lean protein source, and organic product are consistently a great blend. I ordinarily have a bowl of Extraordinary K cereal with Soy Milk and add blueberries to my cereal. I ordinarily have a glass of Pomegranate Juice or Squeezed orange with breakfast too. On top of this I drink Green Tea for its high portion of cell reinforcements and in light of the fact that it is known to accelerate your digestion. Click here : 먹튀검증업체

3) Eat a little quality feast each 3-4 hours-I generally eat a 300-400 calorie nibble each 3-4 hours to keep my digestion going for the duration of the day. It's obviously true that by eating little dinners daily you increment your digestion. I for the most part pack a couple Fish sandwiches on Entire Wheat bread and add a Tomato and Romaine Lettuce. Another great dinner is organic product with Curds. However long you're eating a light and sound nibble each 3-4 hours you ought to be acceptable. As a general guideline you greatest supper ought to be breakfast and they should decrease in calorie consumption for the duration of the day. It's a major misguided judgment that lunch and supper ought to be your greatest dinners. What occurs after a major lunch? You as a rule get worn out in the mid evening which can truly influence your work. By eating little dinners for the duration of the day I don't experience the ill effects of these drained spells and normally have a huge load of energy the entire day.

4) Drink water keep yourself hydrated for the duration of the day. Most specialists concur you ought to get somewhere around 64 ounces of water each day. I've addressed a few specialists who say you should possibly drink when you're parched and not try too hard. As somebody who used to drink almost two gallons of water a day I can disclose to you that the solitary thing that emerged from it was additional time hurrying to the restroom. I suggest getting between 64-100 ounces of water each day. They say in the event that you practice routinely you should drink more than the prescribed sum every day to keep your muscles hydrated.

5) Cutoff liquor consumption Most specialists concur that a man should drink close to two beverages each day and ladies close to one beverage each day. In case you're truly committed to keeping a solid weight and great wellbeing I suggest having a glass of red wine with several times each week all things considered. Calories from liquor can truly add up and an excess of liquor utilization isn't useful for your wellbeing.

6) Exercise consistently In the event that you don't have experience practicing at all I suggest joining a rec center and asking the staff for help. I have additionally discovered that individuals who work out are exceptionally useful with regards to information on exercise and nourishment. On the off chance that you have the means and need to recruit a fitness coach I've seen many individuals acquire great outcomes thusly and it's an immense lift having somebody rouse you. Most specialists concur that you ought to get finally 3 days seven days of activity for about an hour every meeting except this relies upon your wellness level and objectives. It's actually excessively wide of a subject to get into here yet there are a huge load of great assets on the web and in book shops to assist you with kicking an exercise program off. I suggest counseling your doctor prior to beginning a program however.

These are only a couple rules to help you lead a more solid way of life and to assist you with keeping a sound weight. As a general guideline, adhere to the edge of a supermarket since this is the place where you will discover produce, lean proteins, and dairy items. The passageways are generally loaded up with boxed and bundled products that are loaded up with sugars and additives that are not bravo.

Help yourself out and do some examination on appropriate sustenance and exercise programs. Simply recall that eating sound and practicing ought to be a picked way of life and not a momentary fix. Avoid the best in class diets and decide to carry on with a sound way of life. You'll be happy you did.