#I’ve never written about him!?

[hauntedfawnn]

Freaky, nasty Roman Godfrey period sex coming your way…

[skyward-floored]

Whumptober Day 11: seeing double

Totally not what this prompt meant, but I don’t care lol. I do care that I keep making Wild cry though, sorry buddy 😬

No clue if anyone cares anymore, but this has some brief age of calamity spoilers in it. Just a heads up.

Warnings: broken bone, discussed past character death

Ao3 link

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Wild had two thoughts as he went plunging through the portal, the others’ frantic cries in his ears:

One, that hopefully Legend wouldn’t give him too smug of an ‘I told you so’ the next time he saw him, since Wild had entirely forgone his advice to stay away from Dark Link and was now plunging rapidly through the air. And two, well, at least I’m going to fall into the water down there.

Which he promptly did with an explosive splash.

It wasn’t so high up that he was badly hurt, but Wild was still thrown for a loop, and found himself crashing down a river with little sense of which way was up.

Water got in his mouth and he spluttered, trying to spit it out and also get his head above the surface so he could breathe. The current was fast here though, and Wild couldn’t do much except flail around like a drunk Zora.

Wait, could Zora get drunk?

He actually had no clue.

The current got suddenly faster, and Wild breathed in some water as he got smacked against the rocks, coughing and hacking as he struggled to get any air. He managed a wet gasp when his head briefly poked up, but then he was pulled under again.

Air wasn’t the only thing Wild had gotten when he went up though— he’d also gotten a sight of the river up ahead. And at the sight of the waterfall rapidly approaching, his struggles grew even more frantic.

I need to reach shore, he thought as he continued to cough and claw his way to the river’s edge in a panic. I need to reach shore now, I need air I need—

The angle of the water shifted, and Wild was shot out of the waterfall, the rapid change in direction making his head spin.

He found himself in open air, water still in his lungs, and he clumsily grabbed for his paraglider as the lake below rapidly approached. Wild managed to snap it open just in time, but he didn’t manage a good grip on the handle.

His arm slipped, and Wild slammed into the sand near the shore, a choked yell escaping him as pain blazed up his shoulder.

All he could do was cough up water for a minute and catch his breath, trying not to wrench his shoulder more. Something was broken in there; he wasn’t sure if it was his shoulder itself or his arm or collarbone, but it hurt. He could barely move without his whole arm lighting up in agony, and hoped blearily that none of the others had suffered the same fate as him.

Then he heard a splash behind him, and his stomach sank.

Had one of the others fallen in the portal already? Or was it something else? That hadn’t sounded big enough to be a splash from something falling from the waterfall, but then again, he could be wrong.

“There, look!”

The voice sounded familiar, but Wild couldn’t place it over the sound of the water behind him and the blood rushing in his ears. He tried to raise himself up, and pain tore across his senses, and for a minute all he could focus on was the fire ripping through his shoulder.

“—know who he is? He looks just like—”

“—in the water, don’t—”

Two voices floated around his head as the fire eased, and Wild took a deep breath, opening his eyes again. His hair had fallen in his face, and between that and his blurry vision he couldn’t see much, especially through the damp strands. Unless he moved again, but that seemed like a bad idea.

Wild groaned, blinking to try and get the hair away from his eyes, but he barely succeeded. His wet hair slipped to the side, but all he could make out were two blobs, silhouetted by the sun shining behind them.

Then he heard a soft gasp, and the sound of a weapon being drawn.

“How is this—”

“This has trap written all over it,” a different voice than the first interrupted, soft, but sharp. Cold steel nudged Wild’s chin, and he stiffened. “Don’t go near him.”

The other voice made a worried noise as Wild weakly coughed. “I don’t think he would have fallen down a waterfall on purpose and hurt himself like this if that were true.”

“It could still be a trick.”

“I know... but we won’t get any answers if he’s too dazed to speak.”

Wild heard a huff, then the sound of footsteps padding towards him in a familiar way. A hand settled over his shoulder, and Wild groaned again, a soothing noise coming from the voice.

“Hold on just a moment.”

Then a feeling like that of a gentle stream swept over his shoulder, quiet and small, but carrying the mighty power of water along with it. Wild automatically relaxed, sinking into the bubbly feeling. A blue light flickered in his vision, healing his shoulder in a familiar way, and Wild relaxed even further before he abruptly stiffened again.

Wait...

The smooth magic trickled into his middle, down to where his lungs were still burning from the water he’d inhaled. It soothed the ache, and though Wild still felt exhausted, he could tell his shoulder had been completely fixed as well. Even the various scrapes and bruises from the fight before the river had been healed.

Which meant...

The bubbly rush of magic faded away, Wild’s vision fully cleared, and his stomach dropped out.

Red scales. Yellow eyes. A petite figure covered in scales that were smooth and shiny in the sunlight, and healing magic that was fading from slender hands.

“M... Mipha?” Wild choked out.

The Zora woman (it couldn’t be Mipha, it couldn’t—) gave him a concerned look, but before Wild could do or say anything further, the steel was back at his neck.

Wild stilled, and followed the blade resting at his neck up to the person holding it. His already fast heartbeat tripled, and he choked for a second time.

The person holding a blade at his throat was himself.

His double’s hair was much shorter, pulled back into a neat ponytail, and instead of the champion’s tunic he was wearing the Zora armor Wild had received. His eyes were steely as he watched Wild, but the most shocking thing about him was the fact that the right side of his face was entirely smooth.

He didn’t have a single one of the scars that had killed Wild.

I’m unconscious. I’m dreaming. I hit my head on a rock and I’m hallucinating—

“Explain yourself. Who are you?” his double demanded, not appearing to notice how Wild’s world was caving in on itself. Wild stared, and coughed once, still feeling tired from his fight with the river, and just... unable to process this. What could he even say?

What was going on?

“I asked you a question, who are you? What are you doing in Zora’s Domain?” his double repeated, voice even sharper.

Mipha sucked in a worried breath as she stared at Wild, and touched the double’s arm. “Oh no, did... did a little guardian bring you?” she asked, and Wild stared at her, her words jumbling in his head as he stared.

Mipha.

Mipha.

Mipha was alive here. Wild was alive here, and missing his scars, and wearing the Zora armor that Mipha had crafted to give to him as a—

“Wh... who are you?” Wild whispered, throat suddenly dry as bone. Maybe he was wrong. Maybe it was just a mistake, a strange coincidence, but he— he had to know. He had to know.

“We asked you first,” Link’s double replied suspiciously, and Mipha set a hand on his shoulder.

“Link, he was just injured and half-drowned, I believe he’s confused. If he were here to kill us, he already would have tried,” she said pointedly, studying Wild with an intent look. “I think he looks too much like you to be a coincidence.”

“It could still be a trick. A Yiga or something,” his double said suspiciously. Wild didn’t blame him. That did sound like something the Yiga would do.

“But why add the scars and long hair?” Mipha countered, and the double looked frustrated.

“To confuse us, I’m sure there’s a motive. He’s probably here for you, you know you’re—”

“If you say “at risk” again Link, I will set Sidon on you,” Mipha said with a little huff, and turned back towards Wild with a kind-if-cautious look. “My apologies. I am Princess Mipha of the Zora, and this is my husband, Link.”

The words were like a slap, even though Wild knew they were coming.

Husband. Mipha. Zora armor.

Husband.

Link.

Wild would have fallen over backwards if he’d been upright in any way, and he stared between Mipha and his double, wondering if he was about to be sick.

They all knew the portals were transporting them through time. Wild had been a part of Time and Wind’s discussion on fractured timelines, and they all knew that there were splits and sections where the history of Hyrule didn’t make sense.

But this...

Was this a timeline where Wild hadn’t failed?

Mipha’s face grew more worried the longer Wild stared at them without speaking, and even his double started to look a little concerned.

“Did I miss an injury?” Mipha asked, scooting closer again, and Wild froze as she approached.

“No, no you got— you got everything,” Wild choked out. He felt perfectly healthy apart from being tired and his falling-apart mental state, just like if he’d used Mipha’s grace. Even though he hadn’t used it in nearly a year because the champions were finally at rest and they’d passed on and Mipha—

Wild lurched to his feet, using a rock for support, and immediately the other Link’s blade was raised again.

“Stay where you are,” he said sharply, and Wild stumbled backwards towards the water. His double’s face grew fierce and he leapt around him and blocked him off from the river. “I said stay where you are! We’ve told you who we are, now tell us your identity or I will treat you as a threat.”

Wild stilled, and swallowed. He might as well explain.

“I’m... well, Link,” he began, and the other Link didn’t move. “You... probably figured that out. I... I don’t know how I got here— I mean, I do, but it wasn’t on purpose, I-I... I don’t know what you mean about a guardian, but one didn’t bring me here.”

Wild looked at Mipha again, and swallowed thickly, his eyes stinging.

“This isn’t a trap. I don’t know what’s going on, but I’m not here to hurt you,” he croaked, and the other Link pulled his sword back just a hair. “I— my companions and I are traveling through time, but... I think something went wrong,” he finished in a whisper.

We’ve never had anything like this happen with the portals before.

Did the Shadow do this?

“Time travel...” Mipha said thoughtfully, and exchanged a loaded look with the other Link.

His face had creased further, but in a different way, and he finally pulled the sword away from Wild’s neck. He kept it at the ready though, and watched Wild intensely.

“How did you get here?” he asked again, a little less accusatory and a little more curious.

Wild exhaled. “It’s a long story... but it was through a portal,” he said, deciding he would just... ignore what was going on for now. It was that or completely freak out, and he wanted to know more before passing out due to shock. “My group is hunting a Shadow, one ripping holes in time. We’re trying to stop him.”

“So no Terrako then?” Link questioned, and Wild shook his head in confusion.

“No? No... Terrako. Just portals that sometimes spew powerful monsters.”

Link and Mipha both stiffened.

“These monsters, do they have darkened blood?” Mipha asked, and Wild nodded. “Oh my. We’ve seen some up in the highlands, remember that moblin, Link?”

Link grimaced. “Yes. What a disaster. We assumed it was just leftover magic from Astor or something of that nature, not... time travel related. Bazz is still recovering.” He paused for a second, then his eyes went wide and he whipped his head back towards Link. “You said you came through a portal that expels these monsters?”

“Yeah, from upriver somewhere,” Wild nodded. “But it’s not sending out monsters right now. I fell through it, then fell right in the river.”

Link frowned. “So no monsters were coming out when you went through?”

“No, they were all on the other side, my group was fighting their leader. But I don’t know—”

“Papa?”

Link froze, and Mipha looked worried as Wild turned around towards where the voice had come from.

A young, orangey colored Zora was poking his head up from the water, and he looked between Wild and Link, a wide look on his face.

“Papa?” he repeated in a curious voice, and Wild stared, studying the little Zora’s features.

“Stay in the water, Ty,” Link said seriously, and the Zora hesitated, eyes darting between Mipha and Link and Wild. Then he hopped out and scurried over to stand next to Mipha. He hid behind her leg and watched Wild with large blue eyes, and Wild began to shake, recognizing them as his own.

Oh Hylia, haven’t you put me through enough?

Mipha put a hand on Ty’s arm, and he continued to watch Wild, his expression concerned as he studied his face.

“Papa... hurt?” he said worriedly, and Link shifted around so he was standing beside him, and placed a hand on his head.

“No, I’m not hurt,” Link reassured, and Ty switched to clinging to his leg instead, still staring at Wild. His orange scales shone brightly in the sunshine, like the last rays of light before the sun set.

“Wh... who is...?” Wild choked out, and Mipha gave him a look that was as conflicted as he felt.

“This is our son. Tyde,” she explained gently, like she knew the words would hurt.

They did, hitting Wild like a laser, and he felt a mixture of longing and wonder and grief so intense he was nearly sick.

Tyde was small, and as he shifted around the other Link’s leg, Wild saw that his left arm was shorter than it should be, the fins the wrong size. He had Wild— Link’s eyes, and his frame was proportioned more like a Hylian, but he had golden-orange and white scales all along his body, and had the Zora tail on the back of his head.

All in all, he was exactly what Wild would expect a child of his and Mipha’s to look like.

A tear fell down Wild’s cheek without his permission, and he sank back down to his knees, overwhelmed. He was married here. He had a child here.

This was what would have happened if he hadn’t failed?

This was how much Mipha had loved him?

Wild began to shake, and barely even noticed as Mipha approached and knelt beside him, so lost was he in his own mind.

“You’re from the world the older Sidon came from, aren’t you,” Mipha said quietly, and Wild shakily raised his head to look at her. “I... doubt he remembered in order to tell you. Zelda theorized they all wouldn’t recall anything from their time here.”

Wild gave a small shake of his head, and Mipha sighed.

“It’s complicated I’m afraid, but we’ve dealt with time travel before,” she explained. “And me and Sidon, we... we talked a little, about things. He said that in his time the champions were slain, and that you nearly were along with us. But you were placed in a sleep for one hundred years in order to heal, and then you saved the princess.”

Wild nodded mutely, and Mipha’s face turned further grieved. She carefully reached forward, and Link couldn’t help his flinch as her cool palm rested on his cheek, right over his scars.

The other Link behind Mipha had gone white, his sword finally lowered. Tyde tugged at his pant leg, and Link wordlessly picked him up, holding him tightly to his chest as he locked gazes with Wild.

Wild could only imagine what was going through his head.

Mipha wiped the tear off Wild’s cheek then withdrew her hand, giving him the same smile that he barely remembered from a hundred years ago. It almost made Wild fully break down, but he choked back his tears. He didn’t want her to feel like she had to comfort him.

“I’ll h-have to hear about this adventure Sidon had,” he said, managing not to make his voice sound too watery. “Sounds like it w-was something.”

“It was,” Mipha said quietly. “He always spoke so highly of you.”

She looked like she wanted to say more, but Wild’s double spoke up then, Tyde still nestled up to his chest.

“In your world, we... lost?” he asked in a quiet voice, and Wild swallowed thickly.

“We... did. I failed,” he whispered, not looking at Mipha. “The champions... our weapons turned against us. Overwhelmed us. I only survived because of a Sheikah invention that took a hundred years to work so I could fix my failure. So many died...”

He took in a shuddering breath, and looked at Mipha and his double again, their child still watching him intently.

“But you won here. You did it, you won—”

Wild’s voice choked off, and he barely noticed Tyde tug on his father’s sleeve, trying to get his attention. He did notice when Tyde pointed at Wild though, his brow scrunched up.

“Hurt,” he said with another tug, and for some reason that one small word made Wild lose the rest of his composure.

Suddenly it was too much, the sight of himself holding his and Mipha’s child, Mipha herself sitting beside him, her hand on her husband’s arm. It was a family Wild never had, never would have, and the fact that there was a timeline somewhere where Wild hadn’t failed them, where they had the opportunity to exist, it was just—

A small sob escaped him, and he pulled back, his shaking starting up again. Before he could bolt though, Tyde suddenly squirmed out of his father’s arms and padded over to Wild. Wild froze as he put a tiny hand on his arm, and when Wild looked down at him, he ran his hand up and down for a moment before nodding.

“Better,” he declared, then scampered back to Wild’s double.

Wild could only stare, tears dripping down his cheeks as Tyde climbed back into his father’s arms.

“He’s seen me heal before, he thinks he can too,” Mipha explained with a faint smile. “He does that whenever anyone cries, he thinks they’re hurt.”

A thick laugh burst from Wild’s throat, and he smiled shakily through the tears only running faster down his face. Tyde kept watching him, and Link swallowed back the gigantic lump in his throat in order to speak.

“Thanks,” he managed through his tears, and Tyde gave him a shy smile before hiding his face in Link’s chest.

Wild breathed out shakily, shuddering with a sob he tried not to let escape, and Mipha and his double stayed quiet as they let him cry, Tyde quietly watching them all. Mipha put her hand on his arm at one point, and Wild only cried harder, wishing he could remember her more, wishing she hadn’t died, wishing he didn’t even know what.

He merely cried, and Mipha let him, a different version of himself watching in pale-faced silence.

That was where Wolfie found them barely a quarter hour later, Wild’s eyes red as he quietly explained more about the infected monsters, Mipha and his double asking worried questions about what was going on, Tyde resting against his knee.

And nine Links became ten.

[ebsmind]

18 + coriolanus snow who fucks you like there's no tomorrow. his thrusts are rapid and he's a grunting mess but you love it. he’s got one hand around your throat and the other holding your waist. occasionally he looks down to see himself going in and out of you and oh how that drives him insane. he hits the spot that just makes you moan his name like there’s no tomorrow. the minute he circles little figure eights on your clit you’re a sobbing mess and he looks at you with so much admiration. when you cum it’s like heaven and he can’t seem to grasp the idea on how much he loves you.

[wynandcore]

Okay lemme go crazy for a sec

Season 2, episode 9: Guilt

When Tron’s simulation machine malfunctions while he’s attached to it, Beck has no choice but to manually figure out what’s wrong, getting transported into Tron’s system. Time for a trip down memory lane.

As Beck travels through Tron’s system, things start to freak out, as it slowly starts trying to fit Beck into these simulations so as not to disrupt or alter them. This leads to him being put in some weird positions.

When Beck finally gets to the dream simulation that led the machine to malfunction, he finds a horrifying sight.

If Tron doesn’t stop, he’ll end up not just hurting his subconscious.

[justalittleguest]

Why is the spiciest, vilest, sinisterest take on Horror him being a cannibal. Girl that’s NOT his toxic trait. He’s so much worse.

[m1ckeyb3rry]

i was so convinced that reo was the only choice i had for the au i’m abt to work on but then like a devil a voice whispered in the back of my mind…𝓽𝓱𝓮 𝓲𝓽𝓸𝓼𝓱𝓲 𝓫𝓻𝓸𝓼

[adimouze]

I can’t believe I’m disappointed with a week that allowed Daniel have have 5 WDC points? like FIVE WHOLE POINTS? He’s gonna get more and he’s gonna get better and race results does not overshadow that major driving he did this weekend either I BELIEVE I BELIEVE

[prying-pandora666]

I can see why you voice Azula. Your manipulative and a liar just like her.

You say you have nothing against Zutara but you defend Aang anytime we have valid criticisms of his sexism and racism.

You are highly critical of Maiko and yet you claim to love both Zuko and Mai. If you loved them so much you’d want them to be happy together.

You reblog any Zuko ship that isn’t Maiko. Casually scrolling your blog I have seen you support Zukka, Jinko, Toko, and Zutara but that last one is obviously fake because you also criticize the pirate scene.

Meanwhile you hypocritically support Azula ships like Sokkla, TyZula, and Mailee. You don’t call out Zucest either just like your TERF icon Grey.

Your obvi a Kataang shipper in disguise. Zutarians have been fighting this battle since the beginning. We won’t fall for your Trojan horse.

Azula always lies.

I can see your entire post history behind your eyes. You were born with nothing. And you’ve had to troll, and plagiarize, and drama-post your way to the top.

But true power? The divine right to multi-ship? Is something you’re born with.

Your followers (if indeed you have any) may not know how this is going to turn out.

But I know.

And you know.

Those allegations against Grey Delisle were false. Katy Perry stans made them up because Grey called Katy out on voting for anti-gay politicians.

Whoops. Guess you’re not as informed as you thought.

Don’t flatter yourself.

You were never even a shitposter.

[couthbbg]

.

[dollopole]

Could have destiny, and therefore Arthur’s death, really be avoided in Merlin? Or were things supposed to flow like that either way?

The first thought that struck me, as soon as the last episode ended, was the usual “what if?” that keeps this fandom alive, alongside the plethora of theories (that I like looking into and discuss) questions, answers and headcanons.

But no matter how many times I think about it, I personally believe that the answer to the question in the title is simply:

No.

It couldn’t.

The directors, no matter how many choices they made, that we could either think are wrong or not, had also made a wonderful job of deceiving us, but not really, and ending the show with a tragedy and a good fucking plot.

What is the plot, you may ask?

“You don’t choose destiny, destiny chooses you”,

and I think it’s brilliant.

First thing first, destiny:

The directors said: “Fuck it.” They tried everything they could do so that Merlin, at the end of the day, had only one choice. It is really an hard point to make, especially because we like to think that if Merlin had done something differently, things could have actually took another road, and yes, it could have, but it didn’t happen, because we needed an enemy in the show, and it was made on purpose. I like to think that the directors knew it would piss people off. It did. Great job, you guys, I still think about it after fifteen years.

Second thing, who’s the bad guy? (Uther)

What I mean by this, is that I’m asking this question to the main characters who the directors wanted us to believe they were objectively good, right, like Merlin, or Gaius, and even Arthur. How about, no one of them had to be completely good? It hurts less if the characters I just cited acted differently, like we oftentimes say of Merlin, but it’s fiction, and we wouldn’t have Tumblr to discuss it on, if they were all perfect, so why not give them some very bad flows? *cough* All the better if they’re murderers *cough*. Now, if it were reality, I too would have said: “Go to hell”, but it’s BBC Merlin, so let me have some fun.

Morgana is bad, Merlin could be too, Arthur even, also Gwen, Lancelot too, and all the wicked team we’ve got. Oh, especially the toilet they had instead of a king, the one and only Uther Pendragon. I even said that Gaius is bad, and offended Hunith of all people, so let’s get to my point. Merlin could have done things differently? Yes. But Morgana, too. Hell, also Arthur. The point of the TV show is the very, very bad choice Uther made of being a tyrant, so. Merlin could have told Morgana he had magic? Yep, but sometimes I believe Morgana had to be evil, so even if she could have become like that in another way, she made her own choice. She knew Merlin was a good person, who didn’t dislike her because of the magic, and still threatened him throughout all season three, causing chaos and death because she craved power and she was in a privileged position where she could do all these things. We like to blame Merlin and Gaius for how she turned out, but what about Gwen? Poor woman didn’t do anything, as much as breathing too hard near her mistress, and Morgana wanted her dead because she hated the idea that a woman like Gwen, who even if amazing and with so many skills, was just a peasant, and could get on her throne. Morgana made the choice to hate Gwen. Morgana made the choice to try and kill Arthur to take her throne, even when Arthur had no idea of what was happening. Heavy on her throne, because who said it was? By age, status, whatever, Uther appointed Arthur as the heir, and there is no changing that. (so, bad Morgana. See? She had to be, like, it was the director’s job)

“Merlin poisoned her.” He did, and isn’t that magnificent? We can see how it destroys both of them in their own ways. Why did they have to be good characters? Imagine how boring the show would have been, and now I wouldn’t be making a post about it at ten in the evening. Morgana chose Morgause. There is no discussing that. As soon as she saw she could take Arthur’s throne, she started doing the evil smirk every two seconds, accuse Gwen of being a sorceress (shouldn’t she side with her own kind?), killing guards wherever she went, sneaking out with the clip, clap of her boots to make bad things, uh uh, in the woods, uh uh.

Third thing, Merlin tried, poor guy:

No, he is not perfect either, and I love it. He is a man who got appointed with this great job to do the right thing since he was a boy, and what did the lad do? Many wrong things, LMAO. And still, in his perspective, they were right. And we agree on most of them, don’t we? Everything because we’ve got his point of view. It was right for Merlin to try and kill a child, because of a prophecy; it was right to lie to Morgana, because she was upstanding, and he was just a peasant; it was right to free a dragon, and he was simply right on this one (yes, to me, there is no discussing this. I would have freed The Great Dragon too, and I cannot blame him for what he did after); it was right to poison Morgana; it was right for Merlin to follow Arthur everywhere and believe he was a good man despite everything, because the idiots loved one another more than they could hate the system they had been put in (spoiler alert, Arthur too has so many flows). Why listing all these things he thought were right? Because they were right to him, because we know his life, how much he had hurt, and how much death not only he saw, but also inflicted. And Morgana killed so many people too. She, multiple times, committed treason, and Merlin had enough information to know that she agreed to make Camelot sleep. Thinking only of saving Arthur and innocent people, he did what he thought was best (this is the same man who had already saved Morgana after he had already tried to kill her, because he tried with all his might not to be a killer, like he had said to the dragon long before), and poisoned her. Could there be an excuse for Mordred? I believe not, but Merlin believed there was, and that’s enough for him, for the audience, and that’s what makes him such a complicated and beautiful character. Merlin did help Morgana, even if he lied to her, and what if he didn’t? He could have got into so much more trouble, Gaius would have reproached him, Merlin believed neither Arthur or Camelot were ready to accept magic, or him, and Morgana, once finding out about the fact that he was Uther’s daughter, she would have probably still acted the same, because we later see that she didn’t want magic to not be outlawed anymore, but to simply, ehm, kill Arthur and everyone who got in her way.

Fourth thing, the other characters can be bad too:

Even if enchanted, Gwen did betray Arthur. (she is such a good character, and very kind, but I like when even the best ones do something bad). We know she is not guilty, but nobody knew, not even Merlin and Gaius, because they never found out she had been enchanted. And when she was evil, there are still consequences to the deaths she caused. Lancelot, even if a good man, and a good friend to Merlin, left before Gwen could decided if she wanted a relationship with him. Gwaine, who we love and adore, him too a complex character, didn’t think about it twice in kicking Merlin in the dungeons when Gwen, evil and enchanted, had accused him of treason. (yes, she is the queen, but Gwaine doesn’t seem the kind of character who would that, or maybe yes?) What about “you’re the only friend I have” and all that? Arthur still made prejudiced choices even when crowned king, and Merlin supported him, and we know why. Even bloody Sefa, manipulated by her father, decided to commit treason.

My point is, who wouldn’t have loved if things went differently, but at the same time, a TV show that is so perfect, with characters who cannot make a single bad thing, would have been still this enjoyable? Hell, that is the point of fiction, that is the point of writing, of directing. Even when we look at bad choices in a TV series, we try to understand why those things happened, why character A betrayed character B and the dominoes effect their relationship brought.

That’s what makes the TV show better. You can build things off bad things. You can make good fanfictions about what could have gone different. You can make theories debating whatever these choices were simply poorly made by the directors or made on purpose. You can discuss all day the relationships between the characters because they’re flowed, and sometimes even toxic.

That is the best part.

This is not to say that we cannot blame a character’s arc for something that happened, or try to redeem another character, instead, but it’s also good to be able to judge and point and write about it.

Even in this post I made points that I believe should be objective (siding with the oppressor, being an oppressor, not blaming a caged dragon for revenge, ecc.) and yet I still like the characters because I can blame them and talk about them exactly because they’re bad.

Moral of the story. A good story always has an antagonist. We shouldn’t delete that.

(and fuck you, Uther Pendragon)

See? Beautiful.

[itsalwaysforyou]

just remembered a wip i had which was jay at uni meeting normal people and desperately trying to act cool and normal whilst internally screaming about being in a whole new place with all new people and not having his gang with him

[weregonnabecoolbeans]

Okay so I am back to reading Star Wars books, and I have JUST started Shatterpoint and I already know this books is gonna be great because..

No more than a couple pages in (it’s an e-book idk how many pages in the physical copy it is..it might be the first page idk 🤷🏻‍♀️) Mace Windu expresses regret over not killing Dooku on Geonosis

He’s overthinking and stressing over that decision and why he made it

And what is one of the reasons he couldn’t bring himself to kill Dooku?

Because they were friends

Because he LOVED HIM

Yeah. You read that correctly. Mace Windu loved Count Dooku. His words. Not mine. He used the word love. They were friends before Dooku left the order and Windu admits it to himself that he could not let him go, could not separate the jedi he knew with the man in front of him.

That’s right. Mace Windu. The man whom so many fans believe is a cold and unfeeling asshole.

That man, believes that he potentially allowed his love for the Dooku that was his friend stop him from killing him.

He thinks he might’ve

allowed his emotions to cloud his judgement

and cannot get over that feeling of regret.

And that is so goddamn important to me.

[commence-screaming]

I know you all are awaiting my response, and I’m grateful for your patience. There are some things I have to address here. Never wanted to put everything out there—I don’t like drama on my blog. I have a document that’s over a thousand words long, but I realized that when people have blocked me and are saying stuff in the main tag, they don’t want to listen. They just want to hurt me.

So I guess now there are things I have to clarify… it’s heavy, but I tried to keep it short. I didn’t have the energy to read everything they were saying about me so I may get things wrong. I didn’t really want to post this.

Content warnings for mental illness, suicidal ideation, mentions of abuse.

Let’s get right into it.

1. I’ve always lived with the paranoid delusion that everyone was conspiring against me, that people secretly hated me and would smear me behind my back. I passed these off as negative thoughts, anything that might’ve “confirmed” this would set it off. I’d have an episode I would have to deal with on my own. I thought that nobody would stick with me in a crisis, and I would always be thinking along the lines of, “is it all over?”

I feel liberated, now. There’s no need to fight when they’re true. I am more at peace with myself.

2. I never want to hurt anyone. Not a real level, the angst stuff is fictional pain. I am autistic—the things you’re hearing me say are the first times I’ve talked to people (other than my family) for my entire life. I always want people to go to me when I do something wrong so I can handle it and learn from my mistakes, that’s why I have my bio set to what it is.

That, and my memory is so fuzzy that I can’t remember too much from even last week. I tend to dissociate and my brain turns into mush.

3. The “minor incident” that Ghouse and the others were talking about was one of his mods saying she’d “tear people apart” and then immediately citing me as the main cause because I was “being rude.” I told her why I was taking a break, as I couldn’t handle it, this had happened before and I asked them to correct me if I was wrong—even confirming multiple times that we were just joking around because I was paranoid.

I suggested they go straight to me for future reference. I was having a mental health episode. She called me crazy and that I was overreacting, implying I was stupid. Another mod told me I was overreacting and that I was acting pathetic and childish. This made point 1 so much worse.

4. The “suicide baiting” was something I told the Panic Room server in confidence. I told them I was talking a break. Ghouse said “it wasn’t that bad but okay,” as if he were gaslighting me. He said things like this as I was sobbing alone in my room, which he was well aware of.

I have to clarify that it wasn’t baiting. Suicidal ideation has been something I’ve been dealing with since I was 9 years old. I have been abused/gaslit for more of my life than I have been safe. I never wanted to say this, but they were brushing me off at a point where I was trying to find a reason to live. I had stupidly thought that they would understand what they were doing to me if I said.

5. That was the first time I had an episode like that. To say that it was baiting is to say I was lying. Let’s play devil’s advocate here.

If I were lying for attention, why would I destroy all my relationships in a single night? Why wouldn’t I make art or something along those lines? They’re big on art.

If I wasn’t, then that would mean that I was having a few bad days and they did nothing to help me… beyond condescendingly saying that I need help. I don’t blame the minors in the server, I’m talking about Ghouse, who is older than I am by around 2 years. I told them I called 988 and it didn’t really work. He continued to tell me off.

After I was kicked I was made aware that they immediately started insulting me. Whether you believe me or not, purposely attacking someone who’s mentally ill is… too far. I hadn’t done anything to them before this incident.

6. The reasons I freaked out was because I was sad that I had unintentionally hurt people, I had started a new, dangerous job, and… well, to be honest, I was terrified.

They were making me forget that I’d been hurt. I was starting to trust them. I had been starting to look forward to tomorrow. And, I was so scared that it would all be over. I didn’t know when, just that it would be.

Now, it is.

7. I may very well have been joking around with everything while on the server, but serious topics were serious. I was never “demeaning” when Ghouse was venting about something that happened to him beyond a couple of lighthearted comments. I thought they’d have the same respect for me. Again, I had confirmed multiple times that I was joking.

8. I might not have done much wrong in the Panic Room situation, but the other things that people are saying about me? I had no idea.

That was the first time I’d ever heard of them.

In the past, my autism had gone completely unchecked. some of those things were from when I was a week into being on my first server… ever. I was 17, had no idea how to check for age or even pronouns. Never used anything but tumblr, never interacted with anyone. Never went to school or even had a job at that point. I more tried to figure out everything based off of my own experiences… which was, not good. To say the least. The things I did, in my head, I thought they were “normal.” This doesn’t make it less terrible, but I hadn’t even remembered some of the incidents until someone pointed it out. It was so mundane to me—I was a messed up child. I’m sorry for this.

8. I wasn’t the best person, I really wasn’t. I didn’t know how to “mask” my traits at that time, I was excited to be able to talk to people. I was protective over my friends (my first friends! ever!) and very clingy. I didn’t know that people held characters close to their hearts, either? (When I have a favorite, I only want to hurt them, you see)

So while the doc was deliberately taking things out of context, some of the other accusations are true, unfortunately. I will be posting my DMs between me and the people on the server in my doc.

9. I have explanations for what I’ve seen of the accusations, but I don’t really recall anything from that incident over 3 years ago… if someone had told me, or even confronted me, I’d have known what was wrong. But they didn’t, and they kept talking to me like everything was normal. I was completely unaware. This is most of the reason I thought people were plotting against me—people would be cold to me and I wouldn’t know why. The worst part is that I can’t apologize. I can’t even try to rectify anything. Some of the people in that server still played PAYDAY 2 with me, some would even reply to my DMs. I had… no idea.

I have hurt people. Unknowingly, but still. I apologize to anyone I’ve affected. Most of it was not knowing how basic social media functions worked. I hope you understand that my behavior was out of line, and that I didn’t mean for any of this to happen. Don’t defend me on that, I was entirely wrong. But… smearing me in the fandom tag instead of going to me directly means that they want to attack me. They don’t want an explanation.

All of my actions were genuine. I never intended to hurt anyone, but that’s what ended up happening. I’ll put more detail into the doc.

10. I was already going to take a break. I was already doing poorly, and the server knew this. At that point, they want me to go through with it. What else would they be saying when they do all of this? Unless I’m reading that wrong. Whatever the reason is, they don’t want to help me, they’re deliberately being malicious and they know I wasn’t baiting.

Although, I guess I have to thank them. Now, I can say that I wasn’t delusional. I can say that I was too smart for my own good. How crazy does it sound to think that everyone was just waiting to betray me? But… they were. I can begin to trust myself again, even if it’s accepting some of my “negative thoughts” as reality. I won’t be reaching out to anyone I don’t already know, and there is safety in never putting myself out there again.

Thank you to everybody who stuck around. My delusions… weren’t entirely correct. Just like how most of my former friends blocked me on sight, there were a few people who didn’t mind when I wasn’t responding. There are some people who believed in me to a point where even if all those accusations were true, they believed that I could change. That’s… something I never thought I’d hear, ever, in my life. That is a form of trust I don’t deserve, really.

So, I was wrong again. Not everyone wanted me gone. It took all of this for me to realize that there were people who loved me in the truest form of it.

As for everyone who cut me off… well, I hope you understand that because of my mental issues, I can never trust you beyond a professional level. It is for my own wellbeing, because I’m still not doing good. I will still be taking that break. The PAYDAY 2 fandom was a source of reprieve for me, and now it’s not. It wasn’t an accident that it turned out that way. All my safe spaces have been taken from me. I don’t know why the Panic Room server hated me, so I can’t provide any extra insight on that.

The truth is, I haven’t been around because I’ve been dealing with depression for a long time. I’ve been passively… yknow. Not actively. I haven’t had the energy to respond to anything on most days, I’m sorry for that :(

All of this was just the breaking point, really.

Thank you for reading. I know most people won’t, but I appreciate those who do. I won’t blame the rest of you if you all decide to leave as well, I understand that. I never made the blog for other people, I made it for myself. This whole thing will serve as a reminder that there are more important things than online spaces. Can’t get therapy because I’m broke, but I can enjoy the few things I still can… even if I’m reminded of what I’ve lost. I don’t think I’ll really be here anymore, but I will be okay.

[crybaby-bkg]

piercer Dabi thoughts on the brain tonight 💔 I want him to be so condescending with light bullying every time I talk about backing out 💔 and he keeps grabbing my face to make me look at him when I act like I’m gonna back out forreal this time 💔 and even though he’s kinda an ass he makes sure I’m comfortable first and foremost and gives me a pep talk about how brave I am and how pretty I’ll be with my new piercing 💔💔💔💔

[pd3thoughts]

Irreplaceable

Or, Chains thinks about Houston.

(Hi @neomineom ! I was your secret Santa! Sorry for taking years, it wasn’t canon compliant so I scrapped it and restarted. Among other real life things. it was totally my fault! I hope that I got your boys right and did them justice 👀)

written for @paydaysecretsanta

// canon compliant fluff with a bit of angst :)

Chains remembers Houston from before they both were in the PAYDAY gang. It was back in the early 2000s, when Houston would unlock the back door every morning so that they wouldn’t bother any customers while talking. The younger man didn’t really speak all that much, but Chains hadn’t minded. He’d met much worse, and the glint in Houston’s eye hinted to his amusement.

Houston was stoic from the beginning, forced to grow up in a household that had no place for a kid. Chains could put two and two together just by the way he mentioned his brother, those glimpses into complex feelings caused by years of neglect. He “had no chill,” as Joy used to say. It might’ve looked like that, but she didn’t know how he was back then.

The Ghost was almost completely silent, immediately getting down to business. He made no time for small talk, finding every conversation meaningless if it didn’t have a point. Chains admired the way that Houston was serious about his work, but it wouldn’t have killed the guy to loosen up a little. Chains had—for lack of a better term—annoyed Houston into relaxing every so often. When the younger man would roll his eyes, the veteran counted that as a victory.

At first, Houston was visibly irritated by Chains’ antics, having half a mind to kick him out of the range. Chains’ disrupted his usual quiet, but Houston began to grow used to it. He didn’t know when it happened, but he had started to expect his presence.

Chains started off by looking at the merchandise, then moved on to talking about other weapons and what Houston used to clean them out. The Armorer, knowing full well how to do it by himself, watched the younger man dismantle a desert eagle with deft fingers.

…When Bain chose Houston as a stand-in for Hoxton, Chains had agreed to it. He had seen Houston’s potential in how he applied himself and in the way he handled his weapons. (It was a mistake. He didn’t regret working with Houston, but Chains never meant to hurt Hoxton. He had always seen the two as separate people despite their similarities.)

Chains would keep it on the lighter side, but he wasn’t afraid to speak his mind. Houston wouldn’t judge him for any of it, sometimes agreeing with what he said. Likewise, Houston had no qualms with asking him for advice.

———

Asking people for help was weak… but with Chains, Houston felt different. This was just two friends talking to each other.

It didn’t stop him from feeling a bit dumb for asking Chains for ideas about what sort of Christmas present to get Dallas. It’s not like he could stroll up to the guy and go “so is there anything you need other than me forgiving you for every time you weren’t there when I needed you?”

…Because that would be distasteful. Probably.

But it could definitely throw a wrench into their operations. With a heavy heart, Houston goes back to the drawing board.

“Would he… actually want anything?” Houston asks his partner in crime. He can’t really keep his eyes on the other man, pretending to work on something. The Ghost tightens screws on a spare ECM, but not enough to strip the thread.

“Heheh, yeah. The guy doesn’t go around screaming his love for Breaking Bad… except when he does,” Chains replies lightheartedly, knowing the Crew Chief’s love for old men getting punched in the face. (They never miss a chance to tease Dallas for being a decade older than the rest of them.)

Houston doesn’t think that Dallas does meth. It wouldn’t be professional. If he did, Bain would fire him… on second thought, maybe he wouldn’t. But Dallas’ level of methness is beside the point.

“He wouldn’t like that,” he says with a slight grumble. Houston could get him something related to the retirement home show, but Dallas would be too embarrassed to actually do anything with it. Houston doesn’t blame him. He’s gonna act like he does, anyway.

“…Well, he likes money,” the Armorer shrugs, “but you should be the one to decide, you know? Can’t do it for you. But I’m sure he wouldn’t mind either way.”

The Ghost can tell that Chains is listening to what he’s saying, and he appreciates the sentiment. No, he’s always appreciated the way that Nicholas understood him. The younger heister turns to nod at his friend and is greeted with a smile, as always.

(Houston ended up getting Dallas a pair of ugly Christmas sweater socks with tacky dollar designs emblazoned across them. Dallas acted polite about the gift as if he didn’t like it, but Houston noticed that his brother wore those stupid fuzzy socks with each subsequent holiday.)

———

Chains sometimes tells stories about how him and Houston used to work in the same room—something that the latter never rarely did by choice. People would take his stuff without asking or get things dirty without cleaning up afterwards and it irked him to no end. Chains was someone who respected Houston’s boundaries, and there’s the fact that they’d known each other for over a decade… that’s gotta count for something, right?

Eventually, the Armorer taught Wolf how to behave himself around Houston as well, slowly helping his friend branch out. Houston learned how to trust a select few, settling both Wolf and Chains into his close circle of friends. Still, the older heister was different to him than the rest. He had bad experiences with Dallas, and Wolf was sometimes unpredictable. They were each unique in their own ways.

Houston was uptight, rigidity mellowed out with time. He knew his own boundaries, pushed them and even went to open a bar in Mexico with the crew’s support. Sure, Chains had shown him the way, but how much he changed was all on him. Chains helped Houston get a foot in the door, allowing him to meet new people. To see new things. To be independent again—apart from both Hoxton and his brother. Just because the gang was apart hadn’t meant that they cut all contact—they met every now and then just for the sake of spending time together.

Chains had sent letters to the former heister between his shoots, talking like they did back in the old days. He would light up whenever he found a reply in his mailbox, putting it elsewhere for safekeeping. Houston never completely chilled out, but he built his own life over there, at his own place! Chains was proud of the younger man. Houston updated his friend on the things that were happening… until he couldn’t.

Chains wasn’t able to save anything from his house when he was attacked.

Which is why when Dallas looks out the window for someone who will never arrive, Chains can put a hand on his shoulder. That’s why he doesn’t have to say a single word. He’s able to show the Crew Chief that he understands. Hoxton is his own person, and Houston never could’ve replaced him. He didn’t have to. Hoxton can’t replace him, either.

The two of them wait for an impossibility until after the sun sets.

[kinokoshoujoart]

find yourself an AnWL bachelor who barks but only in conditions that contradict each other which means his barking dialogue will never actually show up in th