#I’ve never seen American psycho

[truefandemonium]

can someone anyone paste the first three gifs to that scene in Army of Darkness when Ash jumps up outta the pit and the chainsaw lands on his stump perfectly I will owe you forever

American Psycho Directed by Mary Harron (2000)

[spilledbeans116]

Man oh MAN am I in a Vegeta mood! I can’t wait to watch the dragon ball movie that solely revolves around him!

OH WAIT!

THERE ISN’T ONE!!!!!

[eevees-hobbies]

Your Killer Client - NSFW (Fem!Reader x Shoei Barou)

Synopsis: You need to ask for a raise because not only do you regularly have to deal with tom-foolery as a sports agent to egoist soccer players like Shoei Barou, but he also moonlights as a murderer. Girl, send the invoice now! Wait, you're into it...?

Content Warning: Fem!Reader x Shoei Barou. DEAD DOVE WARNING. If you are uncomfortable with disturbing themes like murder, you should not read this. Murder w/no remorse & def. Not taken seriously by Reader (you and Shoei are NOT normal), Knifeplay, DubCon to be safe, Deification (treating someone as if they are a God), Unprotected Sex. Cursing. Minors Do Not Interact. || Word Count: 2.3K

Author’s Note: Heavily inspired by American Psycho, Scream, and Hip to Be Scared by Ice Nine Kills, so some quotes are nestled in there! This is for the "No, You Hang Up" Kinktober Ghostface Collab event. Reblogs & comments always appreciated.

Banner by me. Divider by @sister-lucifer

Why do all my clients have to live on the top floor of skyscrapers? I’ve been on this elevator for seven fucking minutes!

As one of the top sports agents in the industry, you’ve grown accustomed to the eccentricities of your clients: lavish penthouses, all-weekend sex parties that end up with a few broken hearts–never your clients, of course, and some not-so-flattering stories in the tabloids.

But right now, your focus is on the most unique client on your roster: world-renowned striker Shoei Barou. Sure, he often refers to himself as a “King,” which is odd and speaks to a deep-rooted ego problem, but the man is a force on the field. The endorsement deals never truly stop–being the villain is currently en vogue–and he pays really, really well. So to you, it’s all hail King Barou every fucking day.

As you step into his condo using your personal key after giving a few warning knocks but getting no response, you aren’t met with a simple hi, a gruff hello, or even a measly fucking grunt. No, you’re met with something far more exciting for a Wednesday!

“I fucked up bad.”

“I fucked up real fuckin’ bad.”

Shoei has his face buried in his palms; his bare shoulders are hunched tightly at his neck, and dried blood coats his hands and lower arms. 

That can’t be good for his posture, you think to yourself as you take inventory of the scene. Tipped-over cans of beer litter the pristine carpet, pizza boxes lay ajar, and the half-eaten pies are on the brink of becoming inedible as they sit out and harden from exposure to the cool air in the condo.

The mess is unlike him, but even more jarring is the body that’s splayed out, thick pools of dark-red blood coalescing around the nobody–god, you’re internal monologue sounds like Barou–and staining his pristine carpet. He doesn’t even let you wear shoes in his condo, but bleeding all over the place is fine apparently. 

“Y/N, you know I’m a bit fucking psychotic, but I’ve crossed the line, and I don’t think I’m going to get away with it this time.”

This time?

You find yourself oddly at peace with the scene. Sure, RIP to the poor sap laying in his own guts on the floor, but you’re actually more surprised Shoei hasn’t hurt someone sooner with his temper, and truth be told, you’ve seen much worse from some of your other clients. 

A sudden sniffle breaks you out of your thoughts, and you turn your head to the Barou, who looks so pitifully tiny hunched over as he sobs into his hands. “You aren’t crying, are you?” 

Your tone is rather harsh, and you mentally chastise yourself for your blunt delivery, but it’s too late–the question is already hanging laboriously in the air. Regardless, this is Barou! He curses you out practically every day and sends you a check with an obscene amount of dollar signs the next week! 

Barou peels his face out of his hands, his expression shifting between disturbance and disgust at your question.

“Don’t look at me like that. You’re the one who committed murder, not me.”

Shit. Maybe that was a beat too far because Barou rises quickly, his muscles rippling under his skin, tension coiled dangerously as he moves toward you with his hands clenched into tight fists. 

You don’t move because well, if this is your time to go, this is your time to go–you always knew it would be one of your clients, but you had clocked Ryusei as the one who was going to end you, not Barou. 

Huh, the universe is funny like that.

But Barou doesn’t swing or wrap his large hands around your throat; no, instead, he stops in front of you and sinks to his knees, those same hands that were used to take a man’s life grip at your dress in desperation.

“Please. I don’t want to go to jail. I still have championships to win and people to destroy.”

Of fucking course.

But fuck, seeing him on his knees like this stirs something in you–maybe it’s that you want to protect him or maybe you want to demand he lick a long stripe from your inner thighs to the seat of your panties since he’s already down there.

Focus.

You reach a pretty pedicured hand down, your nails digging into that well-defined jaw that’s justifiably earned him a full page spread in GQ magazine, and tilt his head upwards.

For a moment, you bask in the feeling that he’s looking up at you as though you’re someone to pray to–someone who can grant mercy and absolution for his sins. It’s fucking intoxicating being in this position and feeling like you hold his life in your hand because you undeniably do.

“Do you see what I am for you?” you whisper.

Crimson eyes stare up at you–big, pleading, desperate.

“I’m salvation,” you breathe in finality with only yourself, Shoei, and the dead nobody to bear witness.

He sucks his bottom lip between his teeth as he looks up at you. “You can help…?”

You give him a sideways glance, knowing that you’ve got him right where you want him. “Oh, I can do more than help, sweetie. I can fix it.” You let the word ‘fix’ sit weighty in the air, a silent understanding passing between you as he sighs, nodding. “Yeah, I’ll give you a massive bonus if you can, well, you know.” He motions to the body, his eyes darting away quickly.

You, being a person who takes initiative, are already reaching into your pocket to make a call to a ‘cleaner’ that you keep on retainer. But as your finger hovers over the call button, you spot something peculiar not too far from the body. When you came in, you thought it was a tarp, Shoei’s poor attempt at cleaning up the evidence of his crime, but as you croon your neck to get a better look, you realize that it’s too small to be a tarp. 

On the floor, discarded but an obvious eyesore in the perfectly curated space is a cloak, a knife, and a….what the fuck? Is that a mask?

You walk over to the discarded costume, being careful to step over the body because you’ll be damned if you’re implicated in this mess, and nudge the mask with the toe of your heel. It’s a fucking Ghostface mask. How….macabre.

Shoei must feel the judgment flowing from your pores because he’s instantly sneering and hovering near you, his arm brushing against yours in what feels oddly intimate, considering the circumstances.  

“I didn’t want to kill him and get his blood all over my clothes, so I put on my Halloween costume to finish him off.”

“Do I want to know what you fought over?”

“Would it matter?”

You open your mouth to reply, but you pause because you realize that it doesn’t matter–even though you’re standing over a dead body and unreasonably close to his killer, you’re also painfully aware of the heat emitting from Shoei, the scent of his sweat–because killing someone is undoubtedly hard work–and the soft node of his cologne as it fills your nostrils.

And strangely, you’ve never been more turned on.

“What was it like? Killing him, I mean?”

Shoei turns to you, a flicker of surprise and something else–lust, perhaps–shining in his eyes. He pauses for a beat, studying your face to gauge your intentions before he answers. 

“I’ve never felt more powerful in my life.”

As he continues to speak, you notice the way his jaw clenches slightly, his adams apple bobbing as he recounts how he felt during the murder, and the distinct tent growing in his sweats.

“I thought being the king on the field, crushing people’s dreams and making them realize that I’m actually the main character in their own pathetic lives was fucking amazing, but slicing him up and seeing him choke on his own blood as I fucking finished a slice of pizza was the best I’ve felt in ages.”

And to the best of your knowledge, Shoei isn’t a liar. That answer was so honest that it was almost endearing.

Your eyes wander to the knife at your feet. The blood is thicker than what you’d imagine it to be–not that you spend time sitting around imagining blood-stained weapons. You bend down, pick up the knife, and examine it, holding it only inches from your face.

“It’s heavier than I expected,” you muse aloud. You bring the knife up to your neck, holding the blade to your throat, tilting your head back to avoid any knicks but still enough to feel the sticky, cold liquid smudge against the thundering pulse located in the column of your throat.

“That’s not how you hold it. If you aim the blade too high, you risk hurting them, but they won’t bleed out. You gotta hold it down; it gives you the best chance for a clean kill. Let me show you.” 

He wraps his hand around yours, guiding the knife in a way that does make sense–the new angle gives you a far better grip, and you realize that if you move even an inch, you risk cutting yourself.

“You know an awful lot about cutting throats, Barou.” 

He stiffens behind you. In that moment, something in the room shifts–as though the mask of sanity he was wearing, and has always worn, has slipped off to reveal something far more dangerous.

Shoei’s lips press against the shell of your ear, and his husky purr reverberates through your very bones. 

“Maybe a little.” 

You feel his other hand travel to your hip as he removes the knife from your palm and holds it in front of your face. It doesn’t exactly feel like a threat, but just as much as Shoei’s pulse beats slow in high-stress situations, so does yours because you’ve always been a bit different, too.

Your phone still in your hand feels like lead, heavy but useless, as he pulls it from your grip and tosses it to the couch. 

“I don’t think you understand how much I like my freedom, Y/N. I don’t think you understand how important it is to me that you appreciate the sanctity of our relationship and not make any assumptions about what I have–or haven’t done–before.” He brings the knife closer to your lips, smearing the blood across them as if you’re wearing candy-apple red lipstick.

“Discretion is my specialty,” you whisper, tongue darting out to taste the blood.

Shoei groans, his large frame pressing into you as he guides you to the arm of his couch, bending you over and splaying a large hand across the small of your back. 

“You’ve always been so good to me. Why have we never…?” As he speaks, he’s hiking up your skirt. His touch feels strangely reverent, and you aren’t sure if it’s because of the nature of your relationship or because you now know way too much about each other. 

Shoei’s eyes narrow as he spots your underwear–a pesky barrier he plans to eliminate in the most efficient way he knows how. He brings the knife up to the cool cheeks of your ass, dragging the tip of the blade against your skin and leaving red whelps that threaten to bleed if he uses a bit more pressure.

“We’ve never fucked because you’re kind of a dick.”

“True,” he mumbles as he pulls the fabric of your panties and cuts through them until the garment sits against your skin but no longer covering any inch of you that matters. 

You let out a breathy moan as you can feel the tip of his cock nudging against the ring of your cunt, stretching you out deliciously until he snaps his hips, fully sheathing himself into your heat. His hand reaches under you as he presses at your pelvis, feeling where he can feel himself pushing inside of you.

He’s not gentle as he takes you, but you don’t need him to be. You want him as he is: perfect, godly, everything. 

“You’re not going to scream? Most people would call me inhuman for what I’ve done.”

“No, I actually think you’re more in touch with your humanity than you think, Barou. You’re just capable of doing what others can’t because you’re a God.”

And you’re not just saying that because there’s an alleged–because innocent until proven guilty and all that jazz–serial killer deep in your guts right now. You’ve known it for some time–that Shoei is everything that he says he is–a king, a God, the main character in everyone’s world, including yours.

You can’t take your eyes off the body on the floor as Shoei guides your hips in the way he likes–angling his own to drag his cock against your walls, verbally praising your cunt for how she’s gripping him. “You’re a fucking freak. You’re so fucking wet; I’m not going to last long with her sucking me off like this.”

His fingers thread through your hair, forcing your head back so he can look at your face as he molds your cunt into the shape of his cock. “Fuck, look at you taking care of me like a good little sports agent.” He throws his head back with a low, guttural moan, lost in the feeling of you and how you make him feel–powerful.

His thighs tense, his abs flexing as he gets closer to the edge, but at the last minute, he pulls out warm thick ropes of his cum, shooting onto your ass. After a few low groans, he smacks your ass and tucks himself back in his pants.

“So, you going to call those people to come and fix this?”

“Yeah,” you say as you stand up, straightening yourself out. “But I’m going to need another bonus for that.”

@interstellar-inn @pixelcafe-network @hayatoseyepatch

[dangermousie]

2023 End of Year Post - kdrama edition

Yes, we have a some of December left, and I want to check out Death's Game but whatever. I got time for this now and not sure if I will have later so here goes.

This is only going to cover kdramas that aired in 2023; if I watched it but it was made in a different year, it’s not on the list. This was an excellent kdrama year, the likes of which we hadn't had in a long time.

DRAMAS WATCHED

In order of liking from least to most as opposed to pure quality so pls don't come for me, fans of some popular dramas that are on my nope list. Also, I am including if I’ve seen enough to make up my mind; yes I realize that’s inaccurate, but that’s my list.

33. The Escape of the Seven - this is so aggressively stupid and mean that it feels like the makers are playing a practical joke seeing how much their audience will take. This has a season 2 coming, so the answer is a lot.

32. Behind Your Touch - the FL gets superpowers by touching people's and animals' butts. Yes, you read this right. Do I really need to add anything?

31. King the Land - yes, it was a hit. Yes, it stars popular actors. I HATED IT LIKE IT TOUCHED MY BUTT TO GET SUPERPOWERS!!! Plastic people in paint by the numbers story, with about as much genuineness or retability as a barbie aisle in walmart. I never expect much from Yoona so whatever, but to have LJH go from The Red Sleeve to this boggles the mind.

30. Mrs Durian - this is so dumb that I think I lost a few IQ points watching this, but its insanity becomes entertaining - I mean what kdrama can you name where a daughter in law declares her love and lust for her mother in law at a family dinner?

29. The Matchmakers - there is nothing offensive about this drama at all. But there is nothing in the least interesting either. If elevator music took drama shape, it would be this show.

28. Destined with You - sorry, Rowoon, I am still fond of you, but you are two for two in drama duds department this year. This is a drama where I loved ep 1, liked ep 2, was indifferent to 3 and...you get the point. Each ep was worse than the one before, and I bailed before I was dragged into a cosmic singularity.

27. Oasis - great first two episodes. Unfortunately it was not a two ep show. The performances are solid but the story is just not there - the effect is like a fancy chef making an amazing sauce to put on pig slop.

26. Boyhood - it's not you, it's me in action. I can see why people would like it but a 34-year old playing a high schooler in a Weak Hero Class 1 Slapstick Edition is no go for me.

25. Castaway Diva - it's so precious and kooky in the most annoying ways, with the most well-adjusted abused castaway in history. I like magic realism when done by Jorge Amado, but this ain't Amado.

24. Island - it had a good concept, good cast and fun visuals but the execution deserved one of ML's swords through the neck.

23. The Worst of Evil - if I wanted an American show, I'd watch one. Very solid performances though.

22. Song of the Bandits - period edition of what I said about The Worst of Evil.

21. Welcome to Samdalri - and goodbye to any hope of emotional involvement.

20. Joseon Attorney - I have yet to like a single sageuk centered around a profession and this was not an exception. I guess it could be worse but it also could have been so much better.

19. Twinkling Watermelon - everyone loved this drama. Everyone except for me. It's the kind of precious that sets my teeth on edge and I couldn't stand half the main characters we were supposed to root for. I guess I like my fruits to shine steadily.

18. Our Blooming Youth - probably the biggest disappointment on this list. This is not a bad drama by any means, but with that cast and that story (I loved the novel), I was hoping for a memorable sageuk not merely all right.

17. Vigilante - it has the emotional complexity and nuance of a punch to the throat but it gives us quasi-gay openly-murderous dudes going after psychos and Yoo Ji Tae holding feral Nam Joo Hyuk by his hoodie at his feet.

16. The Forbidden Marriage - expected nothing but it was a surprisingly enjoyable trifle of a costume drama that was also quite pretty.

15. Arthdal Chronicles: Sword of Aramun - a hot mess but such an entertaining epic one. And it gave us TWO Lee Jun Kis in period gear and who am I to cavil at the bounty of God?

14. The Story of Park's Marriage - it's a trifle, a souffle, so light it might blow away, but it keeps my attention and is so fun and sweet.

13. My Lovely Liar - a huge surprise, that manages to mix a murder mystery and a romcom, and shocked me by showing Hwang Minhyun can act.

12. Tale of the Nine Tailed 1938 - the original ToNT was my fave drama of its year and I did not think it needed a sequel. But this is not a sequel but more of a side-quel and is such a total delight with brotherly love, adventures, romance and hijinks. It's a joy.

11. Perfect Marriage Revenge - it's actually very hard to do a soap right but this slim 12 ep drama managed. So fun, so crazy, such a good ship!

10. My Lovely Boxer - not really about sports, but about two broken people finding salvation because of and in each other. Also, if you like age gap romances, this is delicious. Sort of loses steam by the end but c’est la vie.

9. The Secret Romantic Guesthouse - this was a sageuk that was not on my radar with a bunch of actors I was not familiar with but it took my heart away. A good plot that was perfectly paced, characters and ships I adored, a logical ending. This is one of the biggest positive surprises of the year for me.

8. Tell Me That You Love Me - a slice of life remake (sort of, it's more "inspired by") of my favorite jdrama of all time. It's not as good as the jdrama because nothing could be, but it's an aching lovely story with some incredible performances.

7. See You In My 19th Life - funny and romantic and haunting and hopeful and odd. This was one of my favorites of the year.

6. Alchemy of Souls: Light and Shadow - it's rare for me to like a (1) sequel (2) with FL actress change (3) that is a Hong Sisters drama. But this was such a gorgeous, surprisingly achy story of love and loss and love regained with some cool monster fighting in the middle. Between the two seasons, this is the first Hong Sisters' drama I enjoyed from beginning to end in well over a decade.

5. My Demon - so tropey (chaebols, supernaturals) but it proves that these tropes are popular for a reason. The chemistry is fire, the story is unpredictable and the whole thing is an addictive delight. A rare drama where I like each new ep more than the last one.

4. Goryeo Khitan War - an old school sageuk in every meaning of the term (no romance, no eye candy, lots of bearded men, battles and politics), this feels like watching an epic movie more than a drama. The vast cast all earns their place and the performances (mainly from character actors given a chance to shine) are incredible.

3. Call It Love - two very very damaged people finding love and healing with each other. This is a narrative very hard to do to my satisfaction but when it's done well, as here, there are few things that can hold a candle to it.

2. My Dearest - a masterpiece of cinematography, narrative, performances. This is an old-school epic romance in the best sense of the term. If it doesn't make you swoon or break your heart, there is something wrong with you. A story of two untraditional, strong-willed, flawed people who fall in love in the middle of the horrifying Qing invasion of Korea and have to deal with all that the world throws at them, this is a bona fide masterpiece.

1 - Moon in the Day - who knew my favorite kdrama of the year will star a store brand Domyoji from Extraordinary You and an actress I was never familiar with. But this part period/part modern fantasy tale of doomed cursed lovers is everything I knew I wanted and everything I didn't know I wanted but did. Two lovers where their love did not save them and in modern day it might not again, has got me obsessed the way I haven't been in years.

FAVORITE DRAMA

Moon in the Day - if there is such a thing as a drama made perfectly for me, this gorgeous, emotionally haunting, utterly romantic, twisty tale is it.

WORST DRAMA

The Escape of the Seven. This drama is proof that demons exist and not sexy ones like Song Kang but horrible nasty ones who delight in the torment this hot mess inflicted on its viewers.

FAVORITE MALE CHARACTER

Do Ha, Moon in the Day - a Silla general and a consummate killer who committed atrocities on the orders of his monster father and yearned to die for them, who found the meaning in life in loving his enemy but it did not make him better, a man so obsessed he literally was around for 1500 years of horrifying ghostly existence and still went "worth it" for a woman who killed him as long as he knew she loved him while she did it. He's intense and competent and beyond fucked up and has never had a normal day and I love him so so so very much from a safe distance.

FAVORITE FEMALE CHARACTER

Gil Chae, My Dearest - she starts out as vain and spoiled but the horrors that break so many others bring out all her fierce survivor potential and she becomes such a force of nature - capable of incredible love but also sacrifice and strength and compassion.

Runner Up: Shin Hye Sun's reincarnator in See You In My 19th Life - quirky, damaged, strong, so odd and so vulnerable at once.

NEEDS TO BE MURDERED

There are a lot of characters who fit that category (King Injo in My Dearest? My God) but the crown belongs to So Ri Bu from Moon in the Day. You think you've seen abusive parents but until you've seen a man abuse his son his whole life and then continue for 1500 years after his death, you ain't seen nothing!

FAVORITE SHIP

The doomed by the narrative OTP of Moon in The Day. Only thing that's better than enemies to lovers is enemies while lovers and their impossible relationship where her killing him is a supreme act of love and his refusing to let go is so strong that he stays around for 1500 years watching her, helpless as she dies over and over again, is everything you ever want.

Runner up: Jang Hyun/Gil Chae, My Dearest. They are so strong and so damaged and it takes them so long to figure out what they feel and what the other person feels but their love and sacrifice and complexities are perfect.

FAVORITE SECONDARY OTP

Kim Shi Yeol/Hong Joo, The Secret Romantic Guesthouse - an assassin bodyguard pretending to be a carefree scholar and a widow of the man he killed to protect his king (and whose life was destroyed as a result.) I enjoyed the main OTP of this drama but I was utterly and completely unhinged for the secondary couple.

I'd have probably picked Rang and his mermaid from TotNT 1938 even over them, but they really were the main OTP of that drama.

NOTP

King the Land couple seems like an easy target but honestly, they are both so terribly bland and antiseptic and marketing by committee, they kinda deserve each other. So I am gonna go with Destined with You, one half of which thinks supernaturally roofying someone into loving them is cute and the other half thinks dating one woman while wooing another is totally a-ok. Ugh.

FAVORITE SCENE

There is no competition for the scene in the slave market in My Dearest, where Jang Hyun finds Gil Chae - the way he screams and tries to clutch the hem of her skirt will live in my head forever.

And the scene where he 'wins' that horrifying bet, or the scene where she finds him in a pile of bodies - they are as good also. Or when he fights off a squad to protect her even though he's sick. That whole drama is perfect.

Runner up: the scene of Do Ha executing Ri Ta's family, covered in blood, as she looks at him from the crowd in Moon in the Day.

Or the scene where he talks about how he cannot live as a person but at least maybe she will kill him and he will die as one. Or when her confession in the past intercuts with his walking in the present, or when he comes home in his bloodied armor and she finds he has a fever and it's the first tender touch he's probably ever known. Her murdering So Ri Bu saying she knows she's going against filial piety in loving her parents' murderer, the way they hug, both bloody, as he says "let's live." The way she says she can't go on as she's hit rock bottom and he replies she cannot quit because she must accompany him to his rock bottom now. Honestly, the drama is a font of amazingness.

Also, the opening scene of Goryeo Khitan War or the scene of Yang Gyu ordering to shoot the captives and having to do so himself.

The OTP meeting again at the intersection at the end of ep 1 of Tell Me That You Love Me. SHS comforting ABH as he's having a traumatic breakdown in 19th Life. The love-making scene in Call It Love. There were a lot of great scenes this year.

BIGGEST CRUSH

Lee Jang Hyun, My Dearest - is that even a competition? He's flawed - vain, often emotionally closed off, not great at processing emotions, lashing out when hurt. He is also incredibly heroic in a real, knows the cost but bears it, kind of way. Whatever he does, he commits utterly but it's never without understanding the cost. He felt both larger than life and utterly real. He went through hell and maintained his soul and the way he loved Gil Chae was breath-taking to behold.

Runner Up: Yang Gyu, Goryeo Khitan War - an experienced military commander who wins an impossible victory even as it ravages his soul. Competence is sexy as fuck.

BEST SCENE STEALER CHARACTER

Rang, Tale of the Nine Tailed 1938 - 1938 really was Rang's chance to shine and he took it. For a character I started out disliking in the original, he really stole my entire heart in this drama. I am so glad he got his happy ending with his brother and his girl.

Runner Up: Crown Prince, My Dearest. He started out as a sheltered, spoiled aristocrat, convinced the world owed him for existing. He grew up slowly and painfully into an amazing man. And then was murdered for it and I cried.

NEEDS A SEQUEL

Arthdal - it leaves the story at a good stopping point but it's very much a "world in flux, adventures and conflicts continue" ending and I would love to see more of these characters. I know we won't but it would have been nice.

NEEDS SCISSORS TAKEN TO IT

Behind Your Touch - should have been snipped at birth.

TOO MANY SCISSORS TAKEN TO IT

Vigilante - I don't mean it had scissors taken to it because it's not cdrama and there is no NRTA, but this drama would have benefitted from being longer. I mean, I love fights and gay polycules as much as the next tumblr person but a bit more character development would not have come amiss. (ahaha - I said come. Leave me alone.)

TROPE THAT NEEDS TO DIE

I don't care about cops/doctors/trash collectors/whoever - workplace drama centering on their "cases" needs to die. I hate procedurals from any country and Korea is no exception.

FAVORITE TROPE WE’VE SEEN A LOT OF

Supernatural critter devoted to their OTP with all the power of their long life.

BIGGEST DISAPPOINTMENT

Our Blooming Youth - it was far from terrible but it was a giant meh. I was so excited to see Park Hyung Sik in a sageuk (that wasn't the hot mess that was Hwarang) and I adored the source novel. It actually started well and then...it's like Revenge of the Beige!

BIGGEST GOOD SURPRISE

I want to say Moon in the Day but to be honest, I was excited by posters and trailers so it wasn't wholly a surprise despite not having much of an opinion on the actors before I saw them. So I am going to say My Demon. I was bored by the trailers, I can't remember the last time I enjoyed a Kim Yoo Jung drama and before this year I would have said Song Kang was an incredibly limited actor in everything I've seen him in and not appealing to me at all. And here I am rabidly rabiding for this drama!

If I am not limiting myself to dramas but can use this for actors - Hwang Minhyun in My Lovely Liar. I genuinely did not think the man could act and then he gave such a pitch-perfect, nuanced performance out of nowhere!

2023 DRAMAS I HAVEN’T SEEN THAT I MOST WANT TO WATCH

I have actually watched all the kdramas that aired this year that I wanted to check out except for Evilive. I am saving this for when I have time.

BEST NON-2023 DRAMA I’VE WATCHED IN 2023

I don't know if I'd say it's the best but Say You Love Me (2004) with Kim Rae Won as a quasi monk seduced away from his true love by an evil older woman was a hell of a ride.

MOST ANTICIPATED

Love Song for Illusion (Lady assassin falls for her royal target who has two personalities), Captivating the King (lady spy falls for her royal target who is tormented) - notice a theme? Also Flower that Blooms at Night because Honey Lee in a sageuk, The Life of Mrs Ock (Lim Ji Yeon in a sageuk), The Love Story of Chun Hwa (an "erotic" sageuk, hmmmm, what?!), Hong Rang (Lee Jae Wook in a super angst sageuk), Queen Woo (that cast and set in Goguryeo!), Wong Kyung (about Lee Bang Won's wife and I love the cast.) Basically, if it's period, I am there with bells on.

[sugarcoated-lame]

people i want to get to know better

thank you so much for the tags, my loves @fairyheart @floydsglasses @itsokbbygrl @glowingxeyes @topherwrites 🥰💗🌸💕

last song: come apart - fazerdaze

favorite color: burnt orange/amber

currently watching: just finished rewatching dance moms lmao, just started tell me lies

last movie: i think american psycho bc i showed it to my cousin who had never seen it

current obsessions: the last of us, joel miller (obviously), logan howlett/wolverine, x-men, TGM, matt murdock bc i’ve been back on my daredevil bullshit lately, a murder at the end of the world

relationship status: very very single

last thing i googled: gluten free panko breadcrumbs lol

no pressure tags: @sebsxphia @sunlightmurdock @hangmanssunnies @pedrospatch @mrsmando @rhettabbotts @floydsmuse @ryebecca @guiltyasdave @joelslegalwhre @sio-ina-bottle @honeyedmiller @joelsdagger @joelsteinfeld @undrthelights @emeraldmoth @lewmagoo @mearslot @bobfloydssunnies @delicioushottubpeanut @almostfoxglove @iknowisoundcrazy @gracieheartspedro @evolnoomym @cruelmissdior @tonysopranosrobe @whiskeyhowlett-writes @joelsbloodyhands (sorry if you’ve already been tagged 🤍)

[machine-elf-writes]

Baldurian Psycho

Happy Gortoween! @gortash-week

You are Patrick Durge - average human noble, and a serial killer hiding in plain sight. He has a hatred for all, but none so much as the young upstart Enver Gortash.

A very silly fic for Gortoween, category: horror movie crossover. This is a crossover of American Psycho. Canon-typical violence ahead. You can also read on AO3 if you would like to.

Your rancid blood is calm for now.

You sit at the long table in Baldur’s Gate’s High Hall while the other noblemen of the city mill about before the meeting. Your mind is distant as you ponder the last look on the beggar's face before you plunged your knife into his guts last night. How you mangled that corpse into a piece of art, the bone and sinew a beautiful tapestry. The Flaming Fists were still on the hunt for a serial killer as these macabre acts were mounting in the slums of Rivington, but they would never get far, not until people who mattered were harmed. For now, it was a nice indulgence for your deepest desires, your darkest urge.

“Oh, that’s a beautiful doublet,” the man next to you says. You don’t notice Claxer is sitting next to you until he speaks up. The dragonborn is an odd one out within the melange of human men, and he frequently disgusts you, but you smile and nod at his compliment.

“Thank you,” you say politely.

“Let me guess,” he infuriatingly continues, “Face Maker’s new autumn collection?”

You nod, again, politely. The doublet is deep green, made of the finest velvet and silk.

“I just want to touch it…”

You slap Claxer’s hand before he lays a scaly finger on you. He recoils, eyes wide as he realizes he’s offended you. “Your compliment was sufficient, Claxer.”

Suddenly, a new presence is at your other side. To your surprise, it’s Enver Gortash, the greasy suckup of rising politician. Unlike you, inheriting your birthright from your family that’s traded arms for centuries, he has become competition for your business. He does not sit next to you in a chair, but casually on the table as he looks down at you.

“Hello, Oberon,” he drawls, grinning with a forced smile. His hair is an artful mess atop his head, stubble grown in already from this morning’s shave. “How in the Hells are you?”

Gortash has mistaken you for this dickhead Miller Oberon, who you can see across the table in conversation with Baxter and Bryce. Though it is understandable. Miller is a shareholder in your family’s business and does the exact same thing you do. He has the same taste in Face Maker’s doublets, and he even goes to the same barber, although you have a slightly better haircut. Certainly a better one than this fraud. You simply smile and nod, and do not correct him.

“So how is that is that big shipment with Cormyr going?”

“Oh, it’s going well.” You know it isn’t.

“Really?” Gortash asks, with an eyebrow raised. You want to peel his skin off his skull. “I’ve heard it’s not.”

Before you can correct him, his attention is called elsewhere by another noble who looks identical to you. Your blood is running hot after the exchange, but cools once Gortash leaves you alone. He is talking to the real Oberon now about dinner reservations - Dorsia at 8. That lucky bastard. You catch something, however, when he takes out a small case and produces a paper name card and hands it to Oberon. Then he walks off to the other end of the room to schmooze some more.

You just had your own redone. Perhaps it’s time to impress upon your fellow nobles.

You open your own case and produce a card. You attract the attention of Baxter and Bryce as you slide the thick paper across the desk. “New card,” you announce. “Just picked it up from the printers. What do you think?”

The two men coo over the card, admiring its tastefulness.

“The colouring is bone ,” you say, the word feeling good on your tongue. You miss sawing through them while you decorate your kills. “And the typeface is called Evereska Bold.”

“That’s very nice, Durge,” Oberon says. “But you haven’t seen anything yet.” As he slides his own card across the table, he places it next to yours. Your face falls. The card is nearly identical to yours, but in all ways better. Sweat begins to form at your brow. “What do you think?”

You swallow the bile coming up in your throat. Your vision tints red. “It’s nice. Gods, that’s nice.”

Oberon smiles, genuinely, but with a hint of pride that he’s stood you up.

“Look at that,” Bryce says with a grin. “How did you get so tasteful?”

You cannot believe that Bryce prefers Oberon’s card over yours. Bryce then withdraws his own case and proudly presents his card. Once again, it is very similar, but perfected over the other two.

“Impressive, very nice,” you say as the tension builds in your body. You want to leap across this table and throttle the man. You want to stick your thumbs in his eyes and crush his skull. But you take a shuddering breath in before you say to Oberon, “let’s see Enver Gortash’s card.”

Oberon’s face darkens, as if he knows the defeat is immanent. Your heart races, sweat now rolls down your face as Oberon takes out the card Gortash just handed to him. He holds it up to you to show you. Your body burns with rage.

The off-white colouring is so subtle. The thickness so tasteful. Gods, it even has a watermark. How did he do that?

The group falls deadly silent as the men all look at you and your piercing gaze, as if they can sense the murderous urge within. In the distance, Gortash’s hearty false laugh cuts through the silence. You know what you must do. Gortash cannot tell you apart from the real Oberon who he is due to dine with tonight. You could easily take his place, lull him into sense of security – preferably with whisky – and dispose of him once and for all. He mocks you, mocks your status with his arrogant charm. He has ambitions beyond this court and you will dash them.

Your rancid blood blazes with hatred.

Oberon is easy to remove from the equation when you send one of your family members to kidnap him. You show up late, and Gortash is already at the table drinking and arguing with the waiter. You need to keep that glass refilling tonight if you are to do what you must do. You sit down and order your drink, while Gortash orders the waiter to bring him another double. Excellent.

“Service is awful, but the drinks are strong,” Gortash says, taking a sip of whisky. He frowns at you from across the table. “You’re late.”

“I’m a child of divorce, Enver, give me a break!” He laughs emptily at your joke, and you smile. You are technically the child of Ulis and Harette Oberon, and they have separated, but what people don’t know is your real lineage. The child of a god too foul to mention. It’s where you get this urge to kill, this need for bloodshed. And your night is only beginning. “So, you’ve been handling the crossbow sales to the Flaming Fists! How did you manage to swing that one? Heard Durge was pretty upset with that one.”

Gortash smiles slyly and leans in. “Well, I could tell you that, Oberon, but then I’d have to kill you!”

You both laugh at his joke, an added layer of irony for you. You cannot wait to see his blood tonight.

The evening stretches on and you make sure to talk at length to keep him drinking. He does not listen to a single word you say, only to occasionally cut you off to talk about himself. You allow it, so long as the waiter comes over to fill his glass.

“Where is Fiorella anyway?” Gortash asks, in reference to the real Oberon’s wife.

“Oh, Fiorella, you know,” you reply, looking for a response. You are betrothed yourself, though you feel nothing for the woman you’ve been arranged by your father to wed. You decide to incorporate her into your alibi. “She’s having dinner with Voletta Jhasso.”

“Voletta!” Gortash exclaims. “Bit of an airhead.”

You smile and nod in agreement.

“Engaged to that imbecile Patrick Durge, right?”

You smile wider and laugh. “Another whisky, Enver?”

Your rancid blood calls out for you to kill.

When Gortash is hardly able to stand, you offer to take him back to yours to sober up. You’ve prepared your main hall for such an occasion – the furniture is covered in sheets, the fine floors covered in the Baldur’s Mouth Gazette. You don’t like to make a mess in your own home, but this is the safest place for a murder like this one. You and Gortash laugh as you let him fall into a plush armchair. His crumpled posture is undignified for a man of his position, but he is right where you want him.

You catch yourself humming a tune while you prepare yourself. Gortash doesn’t notice, but it gives you an idea to distract him. You once attempted to become a bard, but your stories and songs were always a touch too violent for the college. You were expelled within your first year.

“Do you like Volo tunes, Enver?”

He shrugs. “They’re alright.”

“His early work was a little esoteric for my tastes. But when Swordsong made its way around the Bard’s College, that’s when I think he came into his own. Commercially and artistically.” You pause, but Gortash doesn’t react, and takes another sip from his glass. You are making this up completely, and then walk off to the other room where your weapon awaits. Gortash is still within earshot as you don your raincloak, a must to protect the fine doublet you are dressed in.

Before you return to Gortash, you grab the handaxe leaning against the doorframe. This is one of his, one of the illegal ones he used to trade. You wonder if he will recognize it before it splits his skull. You rush back out to the room where Gortash now sits somewhat straight in his chair. He hasn’t noticed you were gone, but you deftly hide the axe while you make the final preparations. He turns around to give you a glance with bloodshot eyes.

“Oberon?” he asks.

“Yes, Enver,” you answer. For a moment, he looks ready to finally question the situation. Instead he gestures to the floor.

“Why are there copies of Baldur’s Mouth all over the floor? Do you have a dog?”

“No, Enver,” you answer. This stupid bleating will be all over soon. He then turns to look at you, and frowns at your attire.

You walk past him and examine the room before you, to make sure everything is in order. The newspapers are laid out to protect the floor from his splattering blood, your precious furniture safe from his brain juices. You walk behind him towards your axe.

“I had a brief stint at the bard’s college. Starstrum was rising, Volothamp was popular as ever, who didn’t want to be a bard in that time?” You grab your axe and turn back to Gortash. He still faces away from you as you complete your manifesto. “In fact, why would anyone want to be trading arms when they could be singing the sweet, sweet sounds of Old Time Battles?”

You grasp your axe, ready to plunge it into Gortash’s head. But you want to enjoy this moment. You want him to witness it.

“HEY ENVER!” you shout.

He turns around in his seat and his eyes go wide. You swing the axe over your head, screeching like a madman as you slam it into the middle of his forehead with a satisfying crack. Blood flies onto your raincloak and your face. You yank the blade from his head and blood streams down his face. You strike again, again, and again into his body until he crumples to the floor.

“Try closing that sale to the Flaming Fists now you fucking stupid bastard!” you scream, laughing maniacally as you strike over and over. Your arms tire quickly while Enver Gortash is made mincemeat at your feet. When he is well and truly dead, you finally stop.

The ecstasy of the kill washes over you and you feel whole. The bloody pulp in the middle of your floor fills you with such joy you cannot speak. You collapse on the couch opposite to where Gortash sat and breathe deeply. This kill will not go unnoticed, but you care not as you’ve finally put this bastard down.

Your rancid blood is calm for now.

[doyouknowthismusical]

[halloween-central]

🔮 Spooky Watchlist 🔮

I figured I’d share what I tend to watch around this time of year! This includes a wide range of shows/movies ranging from family friendly to rated R stuff so there’s something for everyone! That being said, I know not everyone will like everything I listed, please be kind!

Shows:

Over the Garden Wall

Buzzfeed Unsolved

Scooby Doo

Scream Queens

What We Do in the Shadows

X Files

Buffy the Vampire Slayer

Halloween/ Spooky Episodes:

BTVS:

season 2 episode 6 (Halloween)

season 4 episode 4 (Fear Itself)

season 4 episode 10 (Hush)

season 5 episode 1 (Buffy vs. Dracula)

season 6 episode 6 (All the Way)

Suite Life of Zack and Cody:

season 1 episode 19 (The Ghost of Suite 613)

season 3 episode 12 (Arwinstein)

Simpsons TreeHouse of Horror

(I’m not gonna list all of these because there are over 30)

That 70s Show:

season 2 episode 5 (Halloween)

season 3 episode 4 (Too Old to Trick or Treat, Too Young to Die)

Wizards of Waverly Place:

season 3 episode 2 (Halloween)

iCarly:

season 1 episode 7 (iScream on Halloween)

Zoey 101:

season 2 episode 4 (Haunted House)

Movies:

Scream (1996) (franchise)

Halloween (1978) (franchise)

Twitches (2005)

My Babysitter’s a Vampire (2010)

Halloweentown (1998)

Hocus Pocus (1993)

Corpse Bride (2005)

The Addams Family (1991)

Addams Family Values (1993)

Scooby Doo (2002)

Scooby Doo Monsters Unleashed (2004)

Scooby Doo Camp Scare (2010)

Scooby Doo and the Witch’s Ghost (1999)

Scooby Doo and the Goblin King (2008)

Scooby Doo on Zombie Island (1998)

Scooby Doo Abracadabra Doo (2010)

Scooby Doo Alien Invaders (2000)

Scooby Doo Legend of the Vampire (2003)

Coraline (2009)

Jennifer’s Body (2009)

Van Helsing (2004)

Blade (1998)

Underworld (2003) (film series)

Practical Magic (1998)

Clue (1985)

Zombieland (2009)

Zombieland Double Tap (2019)

Happy Death Day (2017)

Freaky (2020)

Fear Street (film series starting in 2021)

Ready or Not (2019)

A Quiet Place (2018)

A Quiet Place II (2020)

It (1990)

It (2017)

The Omen (1976)

Poltergeist (1982)

The Shining (1980)

The Evil Dead (1981)

Evil Dead II (1987)

The Exorcist (1973)

Horror of Dracula (1958)

Vampyr (1932)

The Birds (1963)

Rear Window (1954)

Vertigo (1958)

Psycho (1960)

Silver Bullet (1985)

Buffy the Vampire Slayer (1992)

I know What You Did Last Summer (1997)

Prom Night (1980)

The Town That Dreaded Sundown (1976)

Jeepers Creepers (2001) (this is a series but I’ve only ever seen the first two)

American Psycho (2000)

The Cabin in the Woods (2011)

Cloverfield (2008)

Paranormal Activity (2007) (also a series but I’ve only seen the first one)

Blair Witch Project (1999) (tbh I have never seen this I’m too scared)

Feel free to add anything you think I might have missed!

[muckyschmuck]

Omg its patrick apeman

TRUUUUUUUUEEEEEE i’ve never actually seen american psycho I want to but i haven’t. also i’m bad at names sometimes so i’ve mixed up patrick bateman (chatacter) and christian bale (actor) a lot. i mean it is the same person but do you know what i mean. Patrick Apeman

[colum1nd]

I’ve never seen American psycho bro

[allieinarden]

I’ve never read American Psycho or had any desire to do so, but lately I’ve wanted to simply because I can already tell that everybody I’ve ever seen talking about it is wrong.

[tardis-technician]

coincidentally i have also spent the last couple days making/finishing my ten playlist (this means: actually finding songs for it and over doubling it in length lol) https://open.spotify.com/playlist/6PqNHW0Dta7DONV2UHAjZW?si=b4d49ec0b8944216

i'll post it sometime to my own tumblr later when i feel 100% on it (i am still editing it), but you can go through it and add it to your own if u want! it's also organized by series/companion in chronological order if you're looking for anything specific

This is going to sound crazy, but as I was putting this together yesterday I remembered you recommended some really good ten songs awhile ago, and I wanted to revisit them, but I think it was in an ask or reply on my blog and I couldn’t find it. So I tried to search “playlist” on your blog, but the only thing that came up was Patrick Bateman’s Epic Beats. I’ve never seen American Psycho, but I clicked on it and really appreciated the structure of “Hip To Be Square” followed by “Cbat” nine times in a row. I feel like I understand this character more now. Anyway it occurred to me that the ten playlist you mentioned might be on the same Spotify. I apologize for looking at the unfinished version.

I think I’ve said before that my character playlists always suffer from the fact that I always want the songs to be ones I also feel like listening to when walking places. I think all of these were great choices though. I added Against the Kitchen Floor, Flight of the Crows, Free, and Inertia. You are so right that I Can’t Handle Change is 100% a ten song, unfortunately I played that song on loop when I was depressed in high school and can no longer listen to it lol. Also I loved the addition of H.S. by Tom Cardy.

[walkergirlsposts]

I’ve never seen you make one pro Trump post. Not only are they delusional and out of touch with reality, they are outright liars. If anything you seem to be apolitical when it comes to American politics.

Because I don't care. I don't like either side. They think if you're not outright supporting Kamala you are pro Trump. That side are a bunch of psychos. Do they want me to post Trump?? Maybe I should, just to really piss them off. Lmfaooooo

[lifesarchive]

THE SHARDS by BRET EASTON ELLIS (REVIEW)

quickly: a group of rich white friends are too high to notice that the new kid may be a serial killer (an imaginative young writer / a vain but popular group of friends / a new kid with a dark past / valium for breakfast, weed for lunch, ‘ludes for dinner, cocaine for dessert / boys, boys, boys / endless supplies of sex, drugs, and rock and roll / hippie cults hiding in the hills / blood sacrifices and bodily ‘arrangements’ / ‘there’s someone in the house’ / where are the adults??!)

For just a moment, I was a young, hot, high, and wealthy white seventeen-year-old in ’70s-’80s Los Angeles… My parents are never home, every day is an orgasm, and I have all the drugs and euphoria I want. In my endless pharmaceutical high, a serial killer is playing mind games with my friends and me, and I’m barely sober enough to notice it is happening.

That is THE SHARDS. I am confident that if I were to give this hardcover copy a good shake, either a quaalude, a Valium, or a mist of fine white powder may loosen itself from the bindings. These are the substances that seem to hold the story and its characters together. There’s also a hearty scoop of graphic, disturbing, deranged, stomach-churning violence… a stark contrast to the ultra-sweet lives of these young rich kids. The reality of these brutal slayings is what makes the kids’ dissociation all the more real.

★ ★ ★ ★

more thoughts: SPOILERS!

Some personal context… this isn’t the book I originally planned on reading after “HUMAN SACRIFICES” by María Ampeuro, but it was actually the perfect follow-up. The world of the characters in María’s stories was soaked in the harsh realities of capitalism, white supremacy, and patriarchy. What better pairing than a story on the other end of the spectrum… rich white kids with Daddy’s money made from exploiting others!

This is my first Bret Easton Ellis book. All I knew about the guy before reading this was that he wrote AMERICAN PSYCHO. I’ve seen the movie, but I’ve never read the book. I actually owned the book for years, and it was destroyed in a flooded storage facility. Nevertheless, I ended up meeting Bret Easton Ellis’s work anyways. Not because I sought out his penmanship, but because, as tends to happen, I just had a good feeling about the book based on the cover, description, and number of reviews.

This book made me feel poor and ugly, and I think that was the point!

This is a story about a story. The book opens with a prelude in present-day LA as our narrator, Bret Easton Ellis, is driving around and sees an old classmate, which ignites panic within him. 

From there we are sent back to the summer before Bret’s senior year begins. He is a closeted bisexual man in love with his best friend Sarah, who is dating his good friend Thom (whom he is also in love with). He doesn’t seem to be in love with his girlfriend Debbie at all. An idyllic summer spent third wheeling with Susan and Thom ends once school starts and a new guy is introduced at the morning assembly… Robert Mallory. 

Immediately, Robert gets under Bret’s skin. Bret remembers seeing Robert months before he moved to L.A., at a movie theater, but Robert’s consistent denial of this drives Bret crazy. Taking time off from the different guys at school he is secretly intimate with, he decides to follow Robert after school one day. Robert catches him in the act of tailing him and any chance they had at a friendship is ruined. From here on out, it’s a game of cat and mouse between the two. (Or maybe mouse and mouse?)

The first major OMG moment is the death of Matt (a consistently stoned hottie), one of Bret’s ‘intimate friends’. 

As Bret watches Robert ease his way into the various friend groups on campus, he begins to see a side of Robert that is only noticeable from a distance… he notices the silent calculations that Robert is constantly making as if Robert is devising some secret masterplan. It’s then that Robert begins taunting Bret, dropping hints that he knows about the relationship between Bret and Matt. It’s also then that Matt starts receiving mysterious phone calls and notices that someone has stolen his pet fish and rearranged his room. In a state of psychological anguish, he accuses Bret of being behind it, due to some ‘gay’ obsession with Matt. Soon after, Matt turns up dead. Missing for several days, then found dead and mutilated in his own backyard. 

Bret meets with Matt’s father and learns the horrid details of Matt’s death. This makes the outlines of what Bret may be dealing with become more real now. No one cares about Matt’s death enough to notice the pattern that is forming. News articles begin to appear, daily, about missing girls, missing pets, mysterious home break-ins with furniture being rearranged, and late-night attacks. The police eventually put together a profile for a killer they are calling The Trawler. There are hints that he may be connected to a roving group of Manson-esque murder hippies that are terrorizing LA.

Bret makes the decision to divide himself between a true, hidden Bret, and a false, public Bret. Public Bret will play the role of a model student and boyfriend, while private Bret investigates Robert Mallory, whom he believes to be The Trawler. Valium, Quaaludes, and marijuana form the wall between the real and fake Brets. (Imagine someone breaking into your home, and you pop a pill and hide in a closet, falling asleep, and just hoping they pass you by.) Cue an endless string of parties, conversations, car rides, class assignments, and missed calls from Debbie (and The Trawler) that Bret floats through.

Fast forward past more missing women, Bret following Robert Mallory through the streets of LA, Bret being followed by a mysterious van through the streets of LA, Bret being taunted by The Trawler, Bret meeting with Robert’s aunt and finding out about Robert’s dark past, Bret breaking into Robert’s second home, Bret sleeping with Debbie’s dad, and Bret’s numerous attempts at telling someone what may be happening with Robert and being called crazy, etc. 

Eventually, we reach the foggy climax. After Debbie goes missing, Bret is convinced that Susan is the Trawler’s next victim. Robert’s next victim. He decides to take matters into his own hands. That night, Susan and Thom are attacked at Susan’s home by a masked assailant. Susan bites the assailant and he runs out (but not before disfiguring Susan’s breast, and Thom’s leg). Robert comes to the rescue, getting them help, and then heads back to his apartment. Bret arrives at Robert’s apartment soon after and a fight ensues that leads to Robert jumping to his death. Bret is alive and tells a version of the story that exonerates himself, and there is no one to dispute it. 

It is only in the denouement that it is revealed that Bret was the attacker that night of Susan and Thom’s attempted killing… and this is where I started to come down off the story’s canna/lude/coke/valium high… We find out that Bret is Susan and Thom’s attacker after Susan recognizes the bite mark she left on her attacker’s arm, casually peeking out from Bret’s long sleeve Polo. He breaks her hand and threatens her, to keep her quiet. (It’s only years later that Bret finds out Susan immediately told Thom about what she saw on Bret’s arm).

Coupled with this jarring reveal, we are also told (through a letter written to the press) that The Trawler is neither Bret nor Robert. The Trawler is independent of both young men but is indeed a part of the cult roaming the hills of LA. They claim that Robert Mallory was ‘their God’, and the mutilated bodies were ’sacrifices’ given to ‘the God’. Then I just sat with the book closed and wondered what I had just read.

I went back and forth on whether I felt this deserved 4 or 5 stars (like my opinion matters LOL). What gives me doubt is the execution of the ending. As bulky of a book as THE SHARDS is, the writing was actually pretty easy to follow. It flowed frictionlessly from one page to the next. I didn’t even mind all the extraneous storylines because they flowed, and added flesh to the characters. However, the last few chapters ended in such an odd package of revelations and reveals that it almost seemed as if a different writer had tried to finish the story with Bret’s voice.

Now, I must also say, that after reading the book I did a lite Google search on Bret Easton Ellis, just to see what he’s up to today. Unsurprisingly, he seems to be exactly the man I’d expect him to be after growing up as a well-to-do SoCal private school kid (i.e., his book White, 2019). He has not escaped the haze of privilege and wealth, that tends to blind those with his upbringing, from the complex harsh multi-ethnic multi-cultural struggles of the world. I wasn’t disappointed though. Just confirmed. Only a privileged asshole could write so excellently about vanity, insecurity, and recreational pharmaceuticals. 

[seph7]

The Spokesman-Review

Spokane, Washington Est. May 19, 1883

J.T. Walsh Masterful Playing Good-Old-Boy-Gone-Psycho

Fri., Oct. 17, 1997

He’s kidnapped Kathleen Quinlan and tormented Kurt Russell in “Breakdown.” He’s hired Nicolas Cage to bump off his cute wife, Lara Flynn Boyle, in “Red Rock West.” And he’s lusted after his baby sitter, Alicia Silverstone, in “The Babysitter.”

His name may make you mutter “J.T. who?” But in person, J.T. Walsh’s face is instantly recognizable, even if removed from the good-old-boy-gone-psycho roles he’s mastered on screen.

Looking more like a guy from the plant you’d spot at the bar after quittin’ time, Walsh doesn’t act or dress the part of a celeb. Wearing a well-worn and stained pair of jeans and a button-down shirt that hasn’t seen an iron, Walsh is a refreshing change from The Stars we see in People magazine. Joking about playing “ethically challenged” characters - a term he borrowed from a reporter - Walsh says he’s content playing the bad guy.

“It’s fun,” says the 53-year-old actor who didn’t break into the biz until he was 31. “I mean what the hell, what’s the choice? Or another way of looking at it is: Tom Cruise gets women one way, I get them another. I’ve just got to tie ‘em up.”

In the tense pulse-pounder “Breakdown,” now on video, Walsh does just that. As a trucker who offers a hand to Russell and Quinlan, whose car has gone kaput in the desert, he’s at his devilish best.

It’s one of Walsh’s most satisfying roles, especially since the director allowed him to do what he wanted: demonstrate “the banality of evil.”

Gaining trust and then stomping on it is what Walsh’s character, Red, does. It’s a method of manipulation you hear about all too frequently on the news, Walsh says, as “normal”seeming individuals gain the confidence of the unsuspecting, then terrorize them. That’s what is really scary, he says.

Although Walsh doesn’t create a buzz like his “Breakdown” co-star Russell, he has had his share of embarrassing moments when fans realize who he is. “At the movies I was taking a leak one time and this guy said next to me, ‘A Few Good Men.’ That never would have happened in New York.”

Although Walsh’s asking price might be a pittance compared to Russell’s, he isn’t whining. “It’s a business,” he says. Stars getting millions are “just being Americans. It’s raw capitalism. What I find disturbing is the expectations people put on these people,” he says, referring to the close scrutiny of box-office figures.

Walsh is glad he doesn’t have to be so dependent on a film’s success. “Like Robert Mitchum said: “I just do what comes next.”’

[kiss-my-battery-505]

I’m bored so here’s a list of my reviews of all the movies I’ve seen from the silver scream albums

Don’t feel pressured to read lmao I’m just infodumping for fun also sorry for bad formatting this was written in my notes app lol

Friday the 13th/Thank god it’s Friday- The song absolutely FUCKS its so good I VERY recommend it, it mainly references the beginning part of the movie but it sounds like a basic campfire story but with metal music it’s awesome <3 The *movie* wasn’t bad, the first one wasn’t as great as I was expecting but it was super fun and I def am gonna watch the sequels

Rainy day/Resident evil- LOVE THESE the song is 100% less metal and more like alternative?? Pop rock?? but it’s still amazing the music video also slaps, but the MOVIES!!!! I just watched the second one (it’s been a while since I watched the first lmao) but the second one is a total cheesy action/zombie movie and is one of the only zombie movies I’ve ever enjoyed like GENUINELY and the GAMESS I’ve only played the first one (I haven’t finished yet </3) and watched some clips from the later ones but they freaky /pos HIGHLY HIGHLY recommend the song/franchise

Scream/Your number’s up- The song wasnt my favorite (it just sounded a little too much like a musical but it wasn’t bad) but it wasn’t bad but the MOVIE <333 I already watched scream like a while ago and it’s one of my favorite like kind of mystery/slasher movies? Also one of my favorite final girls in a movie like she def earned it, I wish I could watch this movie again for the first time it rocks

IT/IT is the end-Another movie I have SO many thoughts on: the older one was my favorite <33 it had practical effects it felt like the main characters actually cared about each other, LOVED the old one BUT the new ones were not as good imo like it was *all* CGI that got kind of boring after a while the characters like seemed to care about each other less and it was all super forced, there were like wayyyy too many side plots that meant nothing??? AND THE ENDING like- spoilers if u haven’t watched it- but the way they figured out how to defeat the clown WAS SO FUCKING STUPID like all of those confusing side plots and they just had to use the power of bullying????? Like they just gathered around it just going oH stupid little babey man look at this stupid fuckign idiot AND IT WORKED?!?!!! Like they fought a spider creechur in the original like I was so mad at the new ending loll anyway, it’s been like a couple months since I watched it but I could totally go into even more detail jsbsj

Nightmare on elm street/American nightmare- Again the song is great✨super theatrical, I just watched the movie for the first time it’s amazing <333 total cheesy 80s movie, the fashion was great✨the characters weren’t like annoying I liek :)

Hip to be scared/American psycho- This was the first Ice Nine Kills song I’ve ever listened to and it’s STILL my favorite it’s soso theatrical and fun and there are so many movie references in the song it’s crazyy and the live performance clips look so fun jsbsj

I just recently watched the movie bc of the song and like I don’t know if I would have enjoyed the movie as much if I hadn’t listened to the song first loll like the first half of the movie i took WAY less seriously than I should’ve cause like they’d reference something and and my dumbass brain would only think of the song but towards the end I realized it was all a metaphor for something bigger and I’ve never researched a movie that much like ever <3 I could write a whole other essay on the like corporate greed and toxic masculinity themes but this is already super long so <3333

Evil dead/Ex Mortis- the song and movies are on the EXACT same wavelength /pos very camp very cheesy it’s perfect <33 it’s been forever since I’ve watched Army of Darkness but I remember it was super fun like a very good bad movie you can just turn your brain off and watch without analyzing too hard

Candyman/Farewell II Flesh-So I’ve only seen the new remake of this movie but it was done SUPER well like the shadow puppet scenes were really cool and different and the plot was rly good :))) very spooky I loved it (my sister did not lmaoo)

Pet semetary/Funeral derangements- (I’ve only watched the original one) ok so like this movie has a very gloomy type vibe (obviously) and was like pretty unsettling (minus the parts me and my friends made fun of a little lol) but like that’s the point and it was well made, also the *song* funeral derangements fucks *so* hard like the chorus is so amazinggg waughh <3333333 very swag

Also lastly honorable mention that has not been put on a silver scream album (yet 👀) but is still SUCH a good horror movie: Cabin in the woods is so amazing and I cant even summarize the plot without like spoiling it like trust it’s such a good movie it like changes the way u see other popular horror movies it’s so cool I promise

Ok this was really long and I don’t write essays often so I wanted to keep it short (I didn’t 😔) but yeah anyway~this is just some of my own opinions don’t take it too seriously lmao I didn’t 🥰🥰