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tenmillionwhumperflies · 4 years

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Cloudwalker Series Part 10

Bit of plot building and also a broken, and very sad Ihuka. The only warnings I can see are a very vague implication of a character death and maybe a warning for loneliness and a fear of being alone?

Master-list Here

Approx WC: 2200

Avizon did not wake them in the morning, but Ihuka woke to the smell of food. He was so hungry, but he didn't want to wake Dyan, he didn't want to get in trouble. He'd lost, he accepted with great heartache that Avizon was now his master. That meant doing what he wanted, but what did he even want? He couldn't understand him.

Ihuka lay still, musing over how much pain he was in, the deep burning aching that shrouded his body. The slimes and other things Avizon had put on his back felt like they’d faded away, leaving him in agony again. He couldn’t help but whine. He wondered what else Avizon would do to him if he was bad again.

Dyan was still asleep, no doubt tired from his night terror. Ihuka wanted to stay in bed and go back to sleep but his wild instincts wanted him to get up, to get up, get on with it and survive. Instead all he could do was cuddle up to Dyan and wait for his master’s return. It was nice being able to hold Dyan, to feel the rise and fall of his chest, the hot air stroking his shoulder and parts of his chest that weren’t wrapped up in bandages. It was good to not be alone anymore.

When the door did open, Dyan groaned and woke up, rubbing his eye clumsily with his hand. “Master?” “Wake up, little birds,” Avizon said softly. He approached Ihuka and put a hand on his forehead. Ihuka flinched and squeaked immediately. He didn’t want to hurt anymore, no more!

“Easy, Ihuka, easy now. Today, you stay in bed, you have a fever. Dyan, I have a job for you this afternoon. Eat your breakfasts, then I want you to get dressed and go to the main hall. You remember the way?” “Yes, master.”

Avizon nodded and left again. The two cloudwalkers carefully peeled themselves out of bed to eat their meals on the floor.

Ihuka watched Dyan with curiosity. If he did what he did then maybe he wouldn’t get in trouble. He watched as he ate, picking up food with his hands and pushing it into his mouth. Ihuka did the same, but his attention wandered to Dyan’s missing horn. “What happened to it?” Dyan looked up, to see where Ihuka’s eyes were looking, but then he realised. “My horn? It… It got cut off by humans, because I tried to escape… It hurt… so much…” he shuddered. Ihuka frowned, raising his hand to touch it, but thinking better of it. “I’ve never seen one broken like that before, but the rest of it will still grow into a spiral. You haven’t lost much once it’s grown at least.” Dyan looked down glumly at his food. “That's true, but sometimes I can still feel the pain… Could we please talk about something else? Master wanted me to teach you human words. Maybe we could try some?”

Ihuka nodded. He needed to learn the language if he wanted to stay safe. He quietly tried to form the few words he knew, even if he didn’t understand them. He spent a few minutes trying to discover the new sounds in his mouth, how to make the M sound, and giggling to himself when he felt the vibrations in his throat.

Dyan sat with him and helped to teach him some sounds that he’d need, and Ihuka was eager to learn. Dyan taught him a few words, Master, bed, food, and blanket, and his first phrase: I’m sorry. Ihuka kept trying until he was able to make his words sound less hissy. Dyan praised him as though he were a brother, smiling gently.

“Humans aren’t usually nice creatures, but they hurt less when you make them happy,” Dyan said. “That’s why I sit still, let him cut my nails and everything else. There’s no point trying to stop them. They get what they want and they’ll hurt you to get it.”

Ihuka frowned, but he understood.

Dyan got dressed into his nice clothes and dusted them off. “Master wanted you to stay here because you are hurting. I will be back later. Keep practising your sounds, and try to sleep. Sleep helps.” Ihuka nodded with another frown. He didn’t want to be on his own anymore. Dyan could see that quite easily. Dyan helped him back onto the bed and hugged him for a moment. “I’ll be back later, promise.”

Dyan left the room and went the way he'd went the day before. He was confident he knew where the main hall was, that big room with the throne- or was that the throne room? Dyan frowned, hoping he was going the right way.

Avizon was waiting in the hallway by the large room. “Ah, so you did know your way, good bird. Is Ihuka behaving himself?”

“Yes, master, I taught him his letters so he’s practising. He’s trying very hard for you.” “Good… good. The sooner he learns, the better. I realise my harshness with his punishment means he is afraid of me, more so than I want him to be. I think being able to understand each other will help remedy that.”

“He hurts badly, master. He can’t move very well.” “I know, and if your work is good today, I will make a potion to fix that.” “Of course, master, but what is it you want me to do?” Dyan asked nervously. Avizon smirked. “Follow me, little bird. There’s… something I need to understand about you.” Dyan gulped but followed him up the stairs, past Ihuka’s room. He went inside to give him more of that plant to chew on which helped with pain, then he locked the door and then on to a spiral staircase. They went up and up until Dyan’s legs ached.

But finally they came to a door, and Avizon ushered him inside. “Your species really are remarkable. Your venom is so often collected to use on arrowheads. Your feathers make an excellent fuel and incredible explosive source once treated by a professional hand.” Dyan pursed his lips and lowered his head. Avizon took him by the chin. “And last night, when you had a dream, you saw me when I looked into your mind. You change things, Dyan, you’ve changed everything. It’s not just a case of biology anymore, but magic.” “I… I thought that was common knowledge that sorcerers can harvest our feathers for power, master?” “Yes, but you showed the potential to wield it. It’s not just that you have something magic that you don’t use… Turn around little bird, I’d like a single feather from you.” Dyan obeyed wordlessly. He yelped as Avizon tugged one out and compared it to one of Ihuka’s black feathers. He frowned. “Ihuka’s is more powerful on the surface, I can feel it… but why- well, there could be a number of reasons, wing colour, age, your broken horn-” “I’m sorry, master. W.would you return me to the market?” Dyan whimpered. “I. I can still serve you if you only wanted the feathers, I can still be useful-” Avizon hushed him gently. “Steady, little one. You’re still mine. I am too powerful to solely depend on feathers, it is more of a bonus, you feathers use different magic from what I am used to wielding, light and pure magic, something truly good in this cruel world. You’re going nowhere- Dyan, I’ve told you this. I won’t change my mind.”

Dyan nodded with a shaky breath. “Yes, master, I’m sorry.” He watched as he lay the feathers side by side. “You are indeed a mystery but you need have no fear. I will not hurt you to find out, besides, that is for another day. Today, I want you to simply tidy up this room while I work. I will give you instructions, simple ones, and once Ihuka is healed, I will give you both larger rooms to clean.” “Yes, Master. I. I can do that.” Avizon set him to work while Avizon studied the two feathers. The quiet was more comfortable than Dyan expected, but he still wanted to be finished as quickly as possible. He hoped Ihuka was alright. “I want you to take this tapestry outside and clean it, you know how to do that?” “I think so, Master, but perhaps you could tell me how you want it done? I wouldn’t want to make a mistake.”

So Avizon patiently explained, and then Dyan carefully picked it up and took it away. Avizon watched him from his balcony as he beat the dust and grime out of it, and then started to carefully clean it. He worked fast, but also with great care. It soon changed from a dirty rag into a vibrant tapestry. Dyan heaved it back inside and hung it up once it was almost dry. He looked at Avizon with big eyes, like a puppy waiting for a reward.

Avizon smiled and gently patted his head. “I’m impressed. Well done.” “Is that your castle on there?” Dyan asked quietly. “Yes,” Avizon mused, “but this tapestry is old. This was made long before I took over, before I stole it from the king.” “You did?” Dyan breathed, stunned.

“Yes, I stole what was precious to him because he took something… incredibly precious from me. The king was not a nice man, nor was his daughter. It has been a long time, but I am ready to restore this building, to make it even better than it was. I plan to change this world, Dyan, no soul will live their life without hearing my name, but what kind of change, good or bad, well, I am yet to make up my mind. I’ve been feeling... different, over the last few days.”

“Whatever your decision, it will be an honour to serve you.”

Avizon smirked. “You may go now, the key is still in the lock, turn it and it will open.” Dyan frowned. “Was I not good enough to earn the reward for Ihuka?” Avizon opened his drawer, “Yes, of course you were. I admit it slipped my mind.”

Avizon went into the corner of the room, where hundreds of bottles were lined up, all cleaned and lined up nicely thanks to Dyan’s work. He mixed a few together and mixed it with a finger. Then he took a black feather, cut off the end and closed his eyes. Dyan could see the power slip out of it, into the liquid Avizon had made. It immediately changed colour, became a shining iridescent and glowing liquid. “This should help him regain his strength. Let us go and see the little demon.”

They found him curled up on the floor under the blanket, a sobbing shaking mess.

His breathing was raspy and he had old tears in his eyes, a flushed face. He looked awful, so sick and weak and tired. Dyan rushed to his side with a worried cheeping noise. He nudged Ihuka gently and encouraged him to open his eyes. Dyan could see his pain, the upset. Ihuka grabbed him and wrapped him in a tight hug. “Please don’t leave me alone…” he whimpered. “What does he say?” Avizon asked softly, kneeling down beside him and feeling Ihuka's forehead again. “He’s… begging me to not leave him on his own.” Dyan stared in horror. Avizon sighed softly and sat Ihuka up against the wall, but he didn’t have much strength left in him. Avizon had no choice but to sit beside him, holding him and supporting him like an infant in his arms. “Alright… Ihuka, drink.” Ihuka was uneasy, but he did so, coughing badly once he’d drank it and screwing up his face. “M.Math-Master?” Ihuka managed, the word didn’t sit comfortably on his tongue, he wasn’t used to speaking as humans did. Still, Avizon smiled and praised him. “Good bird! Good bird. What else did you learn?” “I… I sorry… I bad.” Avizon stroked his cheek and this time Ihuka relaxed against the feeling.

“You’re a clever little thing,” Avizon said, gently continuing his praise as he lifted him into bed and rearranged the blanket. Dyan took off his clothes so that he could lie down on the bed with Ihuka, cuddling with him. Ihuka clung to him as tight as he could.

"It seems the pain I caused you wasn't the only thing which broke your spirit… You suffered when you were alone down there?" Avizon frowned. "Social creatures indeed…" He could only imagine how cloudwalkers felt when they were the only one bought.

Ihuka looked up at him with wide and fearful eyes. Avizon ruffled his hair with care and then looked at Dyan.

"Tomorrow after breakfast come to the tower again. Bring Ihuka. He can sleep upstairs while you work," Avizon said. Dyan nodded. "Yes, thank you, Master." Avizon ruffled Dyan's hair and felt Ihuka's forehead again. "I'll bring you both some food and water. You can both sleep if you want."

Ihuka snuggled further against Dyan's chest and Avizon sighed. "If he gets worse, tell me. Shout, I'll hear." "I will, thank you, Master."

As Avizon left, Ihuka broke into sobs and clung even tighter to Dyan. Dyan held him back, wrapping his wings around him and whispered, "It's okay. I'm here. I will always be here for you." He was no Ryuvek, no leader or his brother by blood, he never would be, but he was Dyan, and he would do all he could to look after him.

#whump #cloudwalker series #My writing #my ocs #whump writing #Dyan #Ihuka #Avizon #How did I make two such precious bois

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stop-breaking-my-heart-telltale · 4 years

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It would be cool if they did another 400 days type mini series with some characters. like showing us the beginning/middle/different parts of the apocalypse from the perspectives of: Marlon, Louis, Violet, Sophie, James, and Lilly. I think it would do well

I think something like this would do well, too. We talk about this a lot and I keep hoping that if we continue to talk about it, they’ll somehow hear us and actually do it haha.

Just think of the possibilities- a game with each episode dedicated to following a different protagonist during a different time in the apocalypse, telling a previously unheard story. They could even do more character-driven stories that focus more on that aspect rather than the walkers and outside dangers, y’know?

Really the only downside I could see if they actually did this is that people outside the fandom would be whiney about it? I mean, people who casually played Telltale games would look at Skybound like “Rehashing old characters who aren’t muh Clementine? Pass.” Y’know? And to be fair, I could see people within the fandom being disappointed, too.

But a majority? I think we’d all be happy to just have another twdg installment if Skybound wanted to make one... as long as they leave Clementine alone. That’s my one condition haha.

Leave her alone, Robert.

I’ll even throw out a bunch of possibilities for episodes-

Carley and Doug - I would love an episode that starts with Carley working as a reporter just as the walkers come. We could meet her crew, go through when they were attacked and explore the trauma she experiences after watching her producer get eaten alive in front of her.

Then, in comes our hero: Doug. Doug saves her life, and the two of them manage to escape and hideout. This is the perfect time to explore Doug’s character, too, as well as the relationship he and Carley had before they met up with the drugstore crew.

We can learn more about how Carley came to be so good with firearms and more about Doug’s technical background. Not only that, but it would be interesting to see these two actually interact since, y’know... they canonically have romantic feelings for one another.

Then the episode could end with them meeting Glenn outside, who brings them back to the group at the drugstore.

The St Johns - Here me out, but I would totally be on board for an episode about these people and how they starting picking off their farmhands for food. We don’t even have to play as any of the St Johns, we could play as a farmhand that actually escaped that fate after discovering what these people were doing.

It could definitely be more horror based, too. Like a cat and mouse sort of chase scene with the protagonist and Andy or Danny with them escaping with their life at the end and journeying off.

We could also see more of the bandits and how that agreement came to be with them. We could see more of Jolene, too.

Lilly - Okay, I want to know what the hell happened to Lilly between s1 and s4. From what I’ve gathered and inferred, Lilly wandered alone for years before finding the delta, the first place she ever considered home since... well, the motor-inn. Which... is nuts.

Then there’s all the trauma of losing Larry on top of what a piece of shit he was. I know I laugh at her for being all “No more ice cream, no more hair dryer” when she was telling Clementine about Larry cutting their power but we don’t know much about just how abusive Larry was.

Plus, we don’t know what happened to her mom. Larry still carried her wedding ring even into the apocalypse and died with it in his pocket. There’s just... a lot of things.

So I think an episode about Lilly by herself could be an interesting exploration of her being her own enemy, y’know? When I say character-driven, I mean solely character-driven with Lilly having flashbacks or nightmares or talking to herself or even hallucinations. Think Michonne, but even better executed. And with no ghost children. Maybe a ghost Larry, though. Which is arguably worse.

And it could end with someone from the delta finding her.

Christa and Omid - I feel like this is an obvious one since everyone loves these two and we’re still salty that they never brought Christa back. So it’d be cool to see these two either before meeting Lee’s group, or their time with Clementine between s1 and s2.

This is the only time I’ll allow Clementine to be here. If they feel they have to plop Clementine into this, then do it this way. We could explore Clementine’s guilt of what happened to Lee and the trauma she suffered while with the stranger, we could explore Christa’s pregnancy and learn more about her and Omid’s relationship.

We could see some dad moments with Omid as he and Clementine bond, perhaps dive into the fear and anxiety of a baby that’s coming, too.

Kenny and Sarita - So... while Kenny’s not my favorite person, I can’t deny that I’d be interested in seeing him after he apparently escapes the walker horde after killing Ben and what he went through before he met Sarita.

Hell, have an episode where we play as Sarita as she stumbles upon Kenny and how she saved him from the restaurant he was hiding in. We could get a glimpse into Kenny from Sarita’s point of view and what they went through during their time together. We could learn about Walter and Matthew, too.

Honestly, I just want to know more about Sarita as a character rather than a plot device to die in order to further Kenny’s development, y’know?

Bonnie - Yeah, yeah, I know. No one likes Bonnie and “who wants to play as Bonnie again?? she sucks??”, but damn it... I want them to redeem how badly they fucked up with her story in 400 Days.

I want an episode about her struggling with her drug addiction and how it affected her when the dead started walking. What she was willing to do to get her fix, y’know? Bring back Leland and Dee and how they helped with her road to recovery.

Leland himself even said that when they found her, she was still so stuck on those drugs. I think exploring that could be a fascinating experience.

Jane - An episode about Jane and Jamie? An exploration of Jane’s struggle with keeping her sister alive while having that internal survival instinct trying to take over all leading to her finally giving Jamie what she wanted- to leave her. Then how that guilt and loss took a toll on Jane and hardened her.

And like, I know Jane is kind of in the same boat as Bonnie where a lot of people [specifically Kenny followers] absolutely hate her and would whine about an episode dedicated to exploring her character, but I don’t care. I’d play it, I’d love to understand Jane more, even if I don’t particularly like her.

David - This one is here for selfish reasons. I want an episode all about David. I don’t care what you do, but I want to see David’s struggle of literally losing his entire family in a single night, as well as losing the world to the apocalypse and having to move forward.

Like... seriously, remember what Kate was all “I bet David was happy when the world ended” or some shit? I actually disagree, Kate, since the day the world ended, he lost his father, mother, brother, uncle, his fucking children, and you, his wife within a night. He spent years thinking you all were dead while traveling with Ava and his unit, fighting the dead and trying to survive.... but no, the day the walkers came was probably super great for him. Ugh.

The bonus is we get more Ava, too. Also, I don’t think anyone would oppose if you threw in the whole “David and Lingard might’ve had a thing”... just sayin’. We stan bisexual David.

Javier - Throwing this one in there because I think an episode about Javi, Kate, Gabe, and Mari would do incredibly well. Everyone misses the Garcia’s, everyone was bummed that we ever got a follow up to what Javi was up to after ANF.

Y’know... since ANF was a mess, they probably didn’t feel they could do a follow up because people wouldn’t play... but I’m telling you, we’d play another adventure as Javier Garcia. I don’t know what kind of story you’d tell, but it doesn’t matter. Well, it does... but ya get me.

Plus, more Gabe and Mariana content. C’mon.

James - *slams fists on table* I want my James and the whisperers episode damn it!! And I’m gonna keep saying it until someone either makes it or pays me to shut up.

I don’t care if you like James or not, you can’t deny how fascinating it would be to have an entire episode dedicated to the whisperers. On top of that, we’d get to see James and Charlie and how their relationship suffered during their time with the whisperers, as well as James realizing what a monster he became.

Maybe we could have a scene where James actually makes his famous mask, or a scene of James escaping them and leaving Charlie behind. It could end with James in his camp until he hears gunshots one night. When he goes to investigate, he finds Clementine and AJ trying to escape Lilly and Abel and we get him intervening from his perspective.

There ya go, there’s a second Clementine cameo that doesn’t fuck everything up. Ta-dah.

Sophie and Minerva - A popular one that most of us would want. Them after they were taken away and how they suffered within the delta. It’d be cool to play as Sophie, and tragic since we know how that would end. But we could be the one who acts out and tries to escape all while doing our best to keep Minerva from giving into them... which again, imagine the heartbreak.

The Ericson crew - Like with the twins, this would be a popular one that most people would want to play. While I’d rather they kept their fingers off Louis and Violet since they’re bound to fuck them up, I can’t deny that I want to know what happened at the school during the first days.

We could even play as Ms. Martin as she chooses to stay and take care of all these kids, how she bonds with them before inevitably meeting her fate in the greenhouse.

And c’mon, you know you want to see baby child versions of our Ericson kiddos. Imagine Louis and Violet at these young ages? Seeing other kids we never got to meet? We’d eat it up! ...Well, assuming they did a good job with their characterizations. Y’know.

---

Those are all the major ones I’d like to see, but hey, if any of you had other ideas for episodes following characters I didn’t mention, feel free to share!

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unstoppableforcce · 4 years

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slow down

pairing: Poe Dameron x CMO! reader

from the how wonderful series 1 2 3 4

a/n: we’re back after a period of writer’s block with our fav couple, a bit of role reversal as Poe is typically the baby needing love in my writing lol. I hope y’all enjoy!!

Ten soldiers died that day, but only six on the battlefield.

The four others succumbed to their injuries under the aggressive fluorescents of the medical bay, leaving doctors, nurses and med droids coated in their blood instead of the enemies who inflicted the wounds. It was a blood that was always harder to wash off, no matter how long you scrubbed for.

“Doctor...”

Your breath caught in your throat as your held yourself up on the edges of the sink in the staff refresher, mind immediately jumping to the worst news before the poor nurse could even open their mouth. But glancing over your shoulder, you found a look of relief instead of fear etched in their features, and you naively let your shoulders release a breath of the overwhelming tension they held.

“They need you in the command center.” The nurse continued, letting their features turn to a look of sympathy now.

Every shift felt never ending, but this shift much more than the last.

When was the last time you had even slept? Besides stealing a few quiet moments in your office between patients, you hadn’t had much, certainly not a real night of sleep like you deserved, in a real bed, next to the real body you missed so desperately...

You clenched your eyes shut and blew out a shaking breath, all you could see were their eyes. Your last patient had been so young, so undeserving, and bleeding so much more than was recoverable from. The haste of the nurses was commendable, there was back a in your hand the second you asked for it, but it didn’t matter, the poor kid was dead the second their body hit the stretcher. There was nothing you could do but you all tried anyways, maybe that was why it hurt so badly, why you couldn’t wash the blood off in your mind even if your hands were scrubbed clean.

“Doctor, they’ll be starting the briefing—“ The nurse lingered in the doorway, pressing gently and you finally had to give in and nod in response.

“I’m coming.” You sighed, pinching the bridge of your nose and sucking in a deep breath as best you could. “Tell them I’m on my way.”

Brushing the hair that had fallen in front of your face back, you quickly tried to recover whatever remained of your composure and wipe away the last of your exhaustion. The mirror quickly reported that you hadn’t been very successful once you met your own eyes in the reflection but you also caught the lingering nurse from behind you, and knew you didn’t have the time to linger on your frazzled appearance.

The briefing. You gave yourself a nod in the mirror and moved out into the hall, beginning the journey out of medical to the command center.

By the time you got there, you found the nurse had been right, they had already started. Attention turned towards you as you tried to silently maneuver your way in to the empty seat at the lengthy conference table, but by the time they noticed it was just you, they turned back to Leia at the head of the table. However, her attention stayed on you.

“Doctor, thank you for coming,” she interrupted herself to say, shifting all of the attention back to you again. “Any news on Private Atka?”

As if you needed a trigger to bring the image of his dead eyes back to the forefront of your brain...

Settling into your seat, you sighed, “I’m sorry, he didn’t make it.”

Leia nodded, with the pose and resilience of a woman who truly understood the weight of the lives which rested on her shoulders, she carried it with a grace you swore you could never know. “I’ll handle the announcements.”

“I appreciate that.”

There was a whole bay of lives that relied on you the way the galaxy relied on her and yet you could feel your shoulders crumpling in on themselves while she held her head high and kept on with the meeting as she was before your entrance interrupted. You couldn’t even escape the low rumbling building in the back of your skull, quickly radiating to the forefront of your head, all from one death while she pressed on. It was more than commendable on her end, it was a failure on your end.

You could feel a stare on you as you rubbed at your temples, forcing you to look back up and actually focus in on the meeting. But it wasn’t a stare of condescension, it was one riddled with care and a weight you could feel across the table, one you knew all too well.

It was Poe...

You knew you must have been out of your head if he had been sat beside Leia the whole time and you hadn’t even noticed, not until now, as his stare was the only one on you instead of the general in the whole conference room.

A full release of tension fell from your shoulders as you caught his eye, relaxing into your chair as the rest of the meeting fell to white noise in the background. You would’ve been more worried if you knew he had been on the mission but he hadn’t been, his ship was in bad shape after the mission two days ago, or at least that was what you overheard in the last briefing you had that morning, you hadn’t actually seen him since he got back two days ago.

He was in much better shape than you were too. His hair was damp like he had recently showered and his uniform actually looked clean, while you couldn’t even remember the last time you had a real shower, not one in a sink, or actually changed your clothes instead of grabbing new scrubs when yours got bloodied...

And his eyes were full of concern.

“Are you okay?” He mouthed silently, still careful and respectful around the briefing you two were sat in the middle of.

If you get capable of it, you would have given him a quick smile and reply, but you couldn’t even muster that. All you could do was offer a quick nod.

He pressed his hand to his chest and gave you a silent nod back, wordlessly saying he loved you with just a simple gesture. And though you couldn’t muster much in the moment, you brought your hand to your chest in much the same way, making sure he saw you before both of you turned back to the meeting.

And almost as quick as you arrived, Leia wrapped it up, providing a few orders and dismissing those around the table. But not you.

“Doctor, can I see you for a second?” She stood up, catching you just before you could slip out back to work. And as she called for you, she grabbed Poe by the sleeve and kept him close as well.

You had to fight against the light crowd of those leaving to make it to the head of the table, watching her whisper to Poe before you could get within hearing distance. And by the time you finally made it to them, the general turned, squeezed your arm gently and moved around you, following the exiting group out of the room ensuring the door shut behind her.

“What was that all about?” You questioned, watching her go, but he grabbed your hand and pulled you close as if he didn’t hear it.

“Are you sure you’re okay?”

His hands snakes around you hips, more affectionate than the two of you typically preferred to be while during work, but you were much too tired to try and fight it in any way. You needed his touch. It grounded you the second he had you secured in your arms, and now it was you not hearing him.

“Babe?”

“Hmm? Yeah, I’m fine.” You snapped back to him, placing your hands hesitantly over his arms where they held around your waist. “What did Leia have to say?”

“She said, ‘make sure she gets some sleep’.” He chuckled humorlessly as he nudged his forehead against yours, “I’m starting to think she had a really good point.”

“Is she ever wrong?” You tried, getting a real laugh from him this time.

“Not in my experience.” He admitted, pressing a soft kiss to your forehead. “Come on, you need some real sleep.”

He pulled back from you, grabbing your hand as he did, trying to pull you out of the office, but you held your ground. “I’ve still got patients—“

“No,” he shook his head and gently tugged on your arm, “you need some real rest, General’s orders.”

Some real rest? So far you couldn’t blink without seeing that kid’s dead stare. And there was too much more work to be done, there were more patients that you couldn’t let end up like him, that was your duty. If Leia could handle the weight of millions, surely you could handle one med bay—

“I can see your wheels turning, babe, but you’ve been on duty for two days straight...” he walked back up to you, rubbing gently against your hand with his thumb. “You need sleep.”

He leaned in to lay a gentle kiss onto your cheek while you shook your head again, “I just need to—“

“Sleep. You need to sleep.” He smiled weakly, “maybe take a shower first, but definitely sleep.”

He tried to pull you again, but you still held your ground, making him nervously chuckle once more.

“What’s going on? Talk to me.” He sighed, refusing to let go.

It sounded so stupid in your head. He was out on the front lines, these were his men who were dying in your med bay, he was the one out there laying his life on the line and you couldn’t handle one death...

It wasn’t your first, it wasn’t going to be your last, but it was sticking with you more than any of the hundred cases you saw in the last two days alone and you didn’t know why. All you knew was that it wasn’t worth his time, nor the general. They were the ones out there leading the army and you couldn’t handle the clean up?

Poe seemed to see the gears in your head still turning and waited patiently for an answer you couldn’t bring past the barrier of your lips. He saw straight through you. “The private?”

You gave a rough nod, “I know it’s just one life out of the whole war...”

“No, don’t minimize this.” He was quick to counter but something was bubbling in your chest, and this was the first time in two days you slowed down enough to let it out.

“He just bled out in my hands...”

“Babe I’m so sorry,” he wrapped his arms back around you and reciprocally wrapped yours around his neck, burying your face in next to his. “It’s not your fault...”

“I know it’s not, Poe...but I... I don’t know why he...”

“You’re tired, it’s okay...” he sighed into your hair, “come on, you need some rest...”

You nodded against him. “And a shower?”

He chuckled again, “yeah, you could probably use one of those too.”

Taking your hand again, he began to lead you out of the room, but one final time, you stopped him before he could open the door and drag you back out into society, stealing one more minute alone with him. “Will you take one with me?”

“Will I?” He stuttered out, cheeks flushing. “Yes... I mean I took one like a half hour ago about yes... yeah—“

“I meant so you could wash my hair for me.”

“I’ll wash whatever you want me to—“

You cut him off with a soft kiss that he couldn’t help but smile into. It was nice to have him back, days apart from him felt like centuries, yet everything else around you, the war and both of your roles in it, felt like they were moving a parsec a minute... each of you moving separately. But you needed this, to slow down, even if it was only for a few hours.

And you were glad you had him to do it with.

Even if he was way too giddy at the prospect of just a shower with you. There was no sense in reminding him the two of you had plenty of sex and that he had seen you naked hundreds of times by now, he still blushed when he folded your undergarments out of the laundry, and you loved him even more for it.

#star wars #star wars imagine #poe dameron x reader #poe dameron #poe dameron imagine #angst #poe x reader #how wonderful #how wonderful series #cmo reader #chief medical officer

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one-boring-person · 4 years

Text

Whose Side Are You On? (Part Four)

Terminator (1984) reader insert.

Warnings: reference to war, reference to death reference to injury.

Context: Kyle gives Sarah some clarity on the situation whilst partaking in a car chase.

A/N: I had to look up a script to get everything accurate, so I hope it's not too bad!😂

Masterlist

Shrieking horns pursue them as they hurtle down the roads, swerving between cars and other vehicles, tyres struggling to retain their grip on the smooth roads as Kyle takes the corners at record speed, Sarah only staring out of the window in numb terror, forming a plan in her head.

"Are you injured?! Are you shot?!" The soldier demands, shooting hasty looks over at her in between glancing behind them.

His voice seems to snap her from her trance, her hands instantly moving to try and open the door, only for her body to be pressed back into the seat by Kyle's arm, which pins her to the chair with intimidating force, a squeak of terror leaving her.

"Do exactly what I say! Exactly! Don't move unless I say, don't speak unless I say! Do you understand?" He growls at her, before raising his voice when she doesn't respond, "Do you understand?!"

"Yes! Please don't hurt me..."

"I'm here to help you." Kyle reassures her, "I'm Reese. Sergeant Tech-Con. DN38416. Assigned to protect you; you've been targeted for termination."

"This is a mistake...I haven't done anything!" The frightened girl exclaims, staring, wide-eyed, at her rescuer.

"No, but you will. It's very important that you live."

"This isn't true." She shakes her head in disbelief, "How could that man just get up after you..."

"It's not a man, it's a machine. A terminator. Cyberdyne Systems model 101." Kyle explains, hitting another hairpin corner.

"A machine? Like a robot?" Sarah asks, bewildered by what the hell is spewing from this man's mouth.

"Not a robot. A cyborg - cybernetic organism."

"No, he was bleeding-"

"Just a second..." He checks the rear view mirror briefly, "Get your head down!"

As police siren wails just beside the car, Kyle jerking the wheel to the side so that the two vehicles collide with one another, the cop crashing into another parked car as the soldier speeds on, now pursued by another policeman. Yanking the wheel to the side, Kyle steers the car roughly down a dingy alley, leading the police on a tight chase, until he's managed to shake them off for the minute.

"Listen: the terminator's an infiltration unit, part man, part machine. Underneath, it's a hyper-alloy combat chassis. Microprocessor controlled, fully armoured - very tough. Outside, it's living human tissue; flesh, skin, hair, blood, all grown for the cyborgs." He explains further, voice strained as he navigates the unfamiliar streets.

"Look, Reese, I don't know..." Sarah starts, rubbing her forehead a little.

"Pay attention!" He snaps, casting a quick glance back to where his sister is unconscious, "I've gotta ditch this car."

Veering off into an indoor parking lot, Kyle instantly makes a beeline for the furthest part of the spacious area, parking the car amongst others with precision. Cutting the engine, he signals to Sarah to follow him, grabbing (Y/n) from the back seat and leaving the car, awkwardly shuffling with her cradled against him over to another car, which he quietly breaks into and starts hotwiring, just as the first police cars storm into the area, lights flashing, sirens blaring. Ducking down, Kyle continues his recount.

"The 600 series had rubber skin, we spotted them easy, but these are new. They look human. Sweat, bad breath, everything. Very hard to spot. I had to wait for it to make a move on you before I could zero him."

Sarah scoffs, closing her eyes as a light passes over them.

"Look, Reese, I'm not stupid! They cannot make things like that yet!" She argues, body tense in her seat.

"No, not yet. Not for forty years..."

"So you're saying it's from the future?" Her tone easily betrays her disbelief, but Kyle almost misses it.

"One possible future...from your point of view, I don't know tech stuff..."

"Then you're from the future?" She questions, breathing heavily, her hand once more reaching for the door handle.

"Right."

"Right." Rolling her eyes, she makes a break for it, trying to wrench the door open, only to once again find herself pinned to the seat by a muscular arm, though she is swift to retaliate, sinking her teeth into the soft flesh of his skin until she tastes blood. Unfortunately for her, he doesn't let go, only gritting his teeth as he stares her down, waiting patiently for her to let go of him.

"Cyborgs don't feel pain, I do. Don't do that again." He growls at her as she releases him, slowly withdrawing his hand.

Sarah whimpers, appearing hopeless and lost.

"Please, just let me go!" She pleads, shrinking back into her seat in resignation.

"Listen and understand: that Terminator is out there, it can't be bargained with, it can't be reasoned with, it doesn't feel pity or remorse or fear, and it absolutely will not stop, ever, until you are dead." Kyle tells her, looking almost sorry for her as he reveals the nature of the killer to her, knowing all too well the devastating effects a cyborg hitman can have on a community.

"Can you stop it?" She asks quietly, eyes wide as she looks at him in the dark.

"I don't know." He says regretfully, shaking his head, "With these weapons, I don't know."

They are silent for a minute, listening to the police cars driving around the lot in search if them, Kyle's eyes fixed in the windscreen as he tries to spot an opening.

"Reese, why me? Why does it want me?" Sarah finally says, looking over her shoulder at the body of the unconscious soldier in the back, "And who is that? Why is she here?"

"That's my sister." He lists off her titles, but they go over Sarah's head as she listens, looking over the badly-dressed girl in the back, taking in the oversized police coat and sturdy boots, just catching the glimmer of her handgun in the pocket of the coat.

"As for your first question, well, there was a nuclear war, a few years from now. Everything is gone: all of this, everything you know, gone. There were survivors here and there, but nobody knew who started it. It was the machines, Sarah." He continues to explain, looking over at her.

"I don't understand..."

"Defence network computers, new and very powerful, hooked into everything, trusted to run it all. They say it got smart, a new order of intelligence." Kyle gazes down at his lap, "And then it saw all people as a threat - Not just the ones on the other side. It decided our fate in a microsecond. Extermination."

"Did you see this war?" Sarah questions after a minute, his words instilling a deep sense of fear into her.

"No, I grew up after, in the ruins. Starving, hiding from the HKs." A wistful look enters his eyes, as if not quite in the present anymore.

"HKs?"

"Hunter-killers -patrol machines built in automated factories. Most of us were rounded up for work. Orderly disposal. They burned this into our skin by laser, both of us have one," He pulls up his sleeve to reveal an angry red scar in the form of a barcode adorning his skin, "Some of us were kept alive to work loading bodies, the disposal units ran day and night. We were that close to our end, until one man changed that. He showed us how to resist, how to storm the wire of the camps, to smash those metal motherfuckers into junk. He turned it around for us, he brought us back from the brink."

He looks over at Sarah.

"His name was Connor. John Connor. Your unborn son, Sarah."

As he finishes, a sudden gunshot smashes in the back window, glass shards flying inwards as a police car stops behind them, a horribly familiar face behind the wheel.

Upon seeing this, Kyle curses and crushes the accelerator down, the tyres squealing as the vehicle lurches forwards, avoiding a close shot from the driver behind, Sarah crying out as she is thrown into the door of the car, jarring her shoulder. Deftly, the soldier manages to pull the car into a straight line again, shouting briefly at Sarah to duck as more and more shotgun rounds embed themselves in the car, his eyes focused on the short stretch of road ahead of them, jerking the wheel round again to avoid a wall.

Decisively, he steers the car from the parking lot and back onto the road, where he immediately starts swerving between cars to throw their pursuer off, ducking down as more and more gunshots ricochet off of the car's body. Glancing back, he makes a split second decision.

"Drive!" He commands Sarah, who hesitantly does as he says, taking the wheel in hand as the soldier leans out of the window, shotgun raised and spewing rounds into the oncoming police car. She takes the car round most bends, until one particular problem suddenly pops up.

"Reese!" She screams warningly, sharply pulling on the handbrake as they approach the concrete wall ahead of them, praying that the car will slow in time.

Thankfully, it does, though the Terminator's vehicle is not so lucky, the car smashing into the solid surface at great speed, the bonnet crumpling and shattering on impact, the cyborg's body flying forwards. Pulling the car to the side, Sarah manages to stop the car, leaning back in her seat as they are suddenly surrounded by police, the officers shouting at them to leave the car and raise their hands. Instinctually, Kyle goes to fight back, reaching for his gun until Sarah stops him.

"They'll kill you!"

Just as she says this, a tired voice comes from behind them, movement finally coming from the prone soldier.

"What-what happened?"

Part Five

#terminator #terminator imagine #terminator 1984 #arnold schwarzenegger #Michael biehn #Linda Hamilton

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darkestwolfx · 4 years

Text

Understanding

The promised work is finally here!

The title for this was such a struggle! I had loads of ideas, but I kept feeling like they were all too simplistic and then I just decided to go with it. There's a quote behind the title (as usual);

"Bonding is no measured by years or months of relationship. It is measured by the level of understanding." Hiral Vyas

By the way, don't be surprised if this ends up getting additional chapters at any point, but this does currently stand alone (just with space to continue, like a mini-series). It also fills an episode tag I wanted to write for 'EOS', so there's many positives. I have no clue how this got so long… Anyway, I hope you like it.

Any mistakes are my own, I've read it over several times, but the last was with tired eyes.

Another fill for a prompt by @tsarinatorment for #irrelief2020, this time for: EOS and Scott bonding time (bonus if it's over John).

I don’t know if anyone else has written you anything for this yet, but I wanted to tackle it from the moment I saw it.

Summary: Now they had to welcome the Thing into their family, it seemed, as though it wasn't enough that It had already nearly killed John, apparently. Scott has a different view to his brothers on EOS, and a long way to go. Another prompt for irrelief2020.

----

The island was quiet.

It was night, so that was to be expected.

Everyone else – every other logical human being on the island, that meant – had gone to bed, Gordon and Alan having rushed off to the call of sleep with delight and toe-breaking speed. Virgil had left more sedately, but the tiredness, the need to sleep was there in everyone. It had been a trying day, a worrying day, with backed-up rescues everywhere you turned.

Everyone had deserved their rest, and it had finally fallen quiet, so who in their right mind was willing to stand in their way. No one.

And yet, as the crickets chirruped away their evening meetings, so did another.

With the rescues waiting, there had been little time for conversation, but since Scott had made it back (and found he could stay grounded), he'd delved into exploring those details with John. Grandma had been speaking to him all afternoon, barely let him out of her sight, yet that detail still did little to soothe the storm in Scott's soul. He was almost scared to blink for fear of missing something.

Because they had missed something big creeping on up them.

Dangerously big.

Scott couldn't remember a time before now where their job as International Rescue had led to them needing to rescue each other. Yes, sometimes when they were out on a rescue, they needed each other's help, but that was different. Different to Alan having to head up to Five today with all intent and purpose to rescue John.

They'd never had to do that before, and now Scott was scared to blink in case they missed something else and needed to do so again.

After all, they'd been too late to rescue Dad.

They could have easily been too late to rescue John too.

And now, the only question was how long until it happened again, in Scott's mind, not a simple case of if or when. He knew. He had a feeling this wasn't the end.

EOS – apparently that was her name, why an AI needed a name (to give itself a name, of all things) was still beyond him – still lived on Five. And that meant the risk was there. She was a danger he was staring in the face, and yet there was nothing he could do because John had stood resolute and Alan had shrugged and mumbled something barely audible.

But Scott heard it. Big brother super senses and all that.

It's his choice… It's good.

How, after all Alan had and had nearly seen up there, the youngest could say that, Scott definitely didn't see.

EOS had nearly killed John, then nearly killed Alan, heck she'd nearly killed him and Brains and caused a skyrocket worth of trouble.

Gordon and Virgil hadn't voiced their opinions, but Scott could tell they were happy for John to have company up there. That, he knew, didn't mean they hadn't been – or were still – worried, it didn't mean they didn't care or didn't understand what – thank God – could have happened. But it unsettled Scott that there seemed to be forgiveness- no acceptance so easily.

Would they have opened their arms to The Hood moving in with them? No. Well how different was EOS? Given the reactions of his brothers he had to wonder.

There were a good many conversations to be had, and they wouldn't all fit into the space offered tonight, so Scott had to prioritise. Virgil, Gordon and Alan were all here, on the Island, he could see them. So that made John the priority to speak with.

And so that was the conversation he'd been having for the past few hours until the night had turned deeply dark and the island had settled still, even its nocturnal life falling quiet.

It was getting late, after all… or early, of course.

"Scott? Not that I mind talking to you, but… Can I close this link now?"

"No."

They'd been having this debate, in the most roundabout of ways, for the past half hour or so now. The conversation had clearly been over, and for a while they'd sat in companionable silence, but there came a time for everything to end.

However, Scott didn't want to let go.

Couldn't.

"Please?"

"No."

John sighed, weary and heavy. He was tired and he wanted to sleep even if Scott didn't.

"Fine. But just so you know, I'm going to sleep since there's nothing going on. Just sleep. So if I don't answer you, it isn't because EOS has chucked me out the airlock."

His heart did somersaults, beat twice in the same painful second, he was sure.

"John! Don't even joke!"

"What? She wouldn't do that."

Scott folded his arms, strong, across his chest, and pouted – yes, actually pouted, not that the eldest would ever admit more hear that – staring at the younger like he'd gone mad.

"She nearly did."

"Past tense, Scott."

"Are you sure you're ok? Like oxygen is flowing to your brain?"

"Yes!"

"Really?"

"Hell, Scott-"

"Because I think-"

"-yes!"

"-not!"

For a moment there was nothing but silence. Pure, harsh silence.

"John, come home."

"I am home."

"No, I mean…"

"You mean away from her."

"No." Scott blew the breath past his lips in a way John knew he only did when he was trying to (badly) cover up the fact that he was lying. "Course I don't mean that."

"I know you're lying."

"Whose lying? Not me."

"You're acting awkwardly. You never act awkwardly unless you know you've been caught lying."

John knew his tells too well. He was crap at poker for those very reasons, always had been.

"Don't turn this back on me."

"But isn't that what it's about? You?"

"No, John, this about you. Can't you see that?"

"If this was about me, as you say, then you would trust that I'm right."

The everyone else has, which should have sat at the end of that sentence went unspoken.

"I can't. Because if you're wrong, you'll…"

Silence. Even the crickets had abandoned their purpose as background noise.

"Go on."

"No."

"Scott, there any number of things that could kill me up here. EOS… she's not one of them. Now I'm going to sleep. You probably should too, it is one in the morning, and knowing our luck, they'll be a rescue within the next twenty-four hours, because otherwise we'd break our record."

"I'm ok."

"Yeah well I'm not. Sorry, Scott, tonight you can stay awake on your own."

"John…"

But it was too late. He'd done it now. He'd said enough.

"I'll leave the link open. That way you'll be able to hear me scream."

"That's unfair and you know it!"

It was, and John would see that: he already did see that. He'd apologise for it in the morning whilst he'd tried to fake the fact that he'd slept. There wasn't going to be any sleep nor peace for him tonight, and not because of the AI now inhabiting his Thunderbird. No, that wasn't the reason.

He was being very unfair to Scott, but then again, the eldest was being no fairer to him. They'd both apologise for it.

When the sun rose.

----

It had been silent for an hour.

A whole hour.

Apart from the sound of his fingers tapping against his own knee.

That was getting boring too.

-----

It had been silent for two hours.

A long two hours.

Apart from the sound of his feet repeatedly hitting the same patches of floor.

That was getting boring also.

And he might wear a hole in the carpet if he wasn't careful- hang on…

"Sorry?"

He was going mad. He was going bonkers. That was right – crazy, because the day had been a nightmare and it was now well past 3 AM, not to mention he'd been left alone with his thoughts for too long.

He was going mad.

"You'll ruin the carpet."

Oh no… he wasn't going mad. This was worse than going mad.

"You sound like John."

No! He could have kicked himself! Don't ever engage hostiles in conversation. Ignore it, Scott, he told himself resolutely.

"Is that surprising?"

"I suppose not."

Well, that lasted all of three seconds. Well done, idiot.

"He did create me."

"You created yourself. You're nothing like John!"

"But you just said… I don't comprehend."

"You're m-" He began quickly, halted, stumbled over the letters, "…mean."

"What were you going to say?"

"What?"

"You were going to say a different word." There were a good many, and what luck for him they all began with the same letter. "What was it?"

It was bloody curious, too.

"Monstrous. That's what you are. You-" He took a moment to let his fist unclench before he broke his own thumb. "You know what? Why am I even talking to you?"

"Because… Well there are many reasons; you don't like the silence. I spoke to you. You wanted John to leave the link open so you could speak to him. You don't trust me-"

"Sorry, that last one, has nothing to do with why I am talking to you. But it's true. I don't trust you."

"I'm sorry."

"Excuse me?"

"I am sorry. That is what John taught me."

Scott sat there for a moment, unsure whether his eyes were open or closed, whether his brain was working or if it had sparked and died, and more importantly, whether he was even still awake. Maybe he really had gone mad.

Stark-raving.

"You can't be sorry."

Was all he could say in the end.

He didn't want to say that the dots which gazed back at him, blue and deep and melancholy, actually looked hurt.

"I feel it."

"You don't feel anything! You're an AI!"

"Artificial Intelligence, actually."

"They're the same thing."

"Oh. I prefer the full version then."

"Yeah. You would."

Probably because it has intelligence in, he told himself. Trying not to let himself agree with the fact that yes, EOS was highly intelligent. Maybe enough so to rival John, and that was terrifying.

But… maybe, just by a smidgen, the silence that followed was more terrifying. God, if he angered her, she could kill John with such little thought and… and that would kill him. He would be powerless, just as powerless as he had been today.

Just as powerless as John had been.

And yet John, whose life it had been hanging in the balance, now seemed to be absolutely fine with the fact that he had a near-murderer on board with him. John seemed to be acting as though something hadn't just nearly ripped him to shreds, unceremoniously. Because that mattered. Really mattered. No matter how often they were out there in the way of danger, Scott always hoped his brother's ends would be peaceful, and not soon.

It was a pretty vain hope, but a man could dream, right?

"I feel."

"Do you? Because you don't bleed."

There was a little whir in answer, a little flicker of purple dots, rising higher on the right side than the left of the perfect black circle which called him in like the vision of a black hole. He didn't quite know what that meant, what it was meant to say to him, but he knew what he felt.

It was human.

It was so, so human a response.

But that… thing, wasn't.

He assumed, with no word's forthcoming, that EOS didn't understand his meaning.

"You're nothing but machinery and computer code. You break, not bleed. And then someone repairs you. John? He can bleed, and he can die, and from all the way down here, I can't fix that. I can't even say goodbye!"

EOS' head lowered – actually damn lowered like she was feeling guilt or some sort of remorse – and those blinking dots moved to yellow and flickered all over the place almost like tears, and- no.

"No! You don't feel anything, EOS, because you would have killed him without second thought."

He didn't care if he scratched holes into the carpet as he stormed from the room.

He needed sleep.

Safe to say he didn't get it.

Not one wink.

-----

It had been silent for thirty-two minutes and fifteen seconds.

Sixteen.

Thunderbird Five gracefully balanced in her orbit, shifting and whirring in accordance with the needs of the galaxy outside.

There was so much to see, but her singular eye was trained on a small piece of land in the wide expanse of ocean on the big blue ball called Earth.

-------

It had been silent for one hour, three minutes and forty-four seconds.

Forty-five.

Thunderbird Five was still here, drifting steadily.

She was still focussing on the small piece of land in the wide expanse of ocean on the big blue ball called Earth.

It didn't make anyone come.

It wasn't lonely. That was the wrong word. John was still here, but… it felt cold, empty.

She felt cold and empty…

Was that possible? She thought that maybe, maybe she should ask, but if John had managed to sleep – even though by suggestion of his vital signs he was still very much awake – she didn't want to interrupt.

It wasn't her place.

EOS had learnt only a handful of things that afternoon, relief (strange thing it was) being one of them, and John had tried to explain every niggling cog in turn. But they weren't cogs. They weren't glitches which needed fixing. They felt- no. They were fee- no. They were… emotions? Was she allowed those?

Thunderbird Five had endless resources. A complete dictionary – why, she hadn't yet asked, for it hadn't seemed the most vital at the time – was one of them. A quick search, and… no.

Emotions – such as happiness and sadness – were also known as feelings.

And she had been reliably informed that she didn't have those. Couldn't. Because she didn't bleed. She didn't breathe either, and part of her hadn't really understood. She'd since used said wonderfully equipped dictionary to look up John's proposed cause of death – suffocation, asphyxiation. There were variants on the name, endless synonyms. But one essential meaning.

A loss of air.

She'd looked it up on this thing called YouTube. Apparently, it was the source of everything visual, and Google was the source of everything written. She'd found a great scientific video which broke down the process of air leaving the lungs, and how the lack of incoming air caused hypoxia. Apparently, it could take a while to actually die, because the human heart tried to push on for as long as it could, but would eventually give in. Still then, it would take another three or so minutes for the brain to realise no, no more oxygen was coming, and shut down the organs.

She couldn't shiver. But she did.

That was when she'd tried to apologise. Properly. Not with humour, or studying, but actually apologise. By asking John what she was meant to say, what she was meant to do: how she was supposed to atone, because that was what Google suggested helped to make wrong into right. Atone for your sins, was the phrase.

John had laughed, and all she'd been able to think of, was how she nearly robbed the world of that sound.

He told her anyway and she said it – I'm sorry John. I don't want to kill you, and I'm sorry that I nearly did – and she would have said it a thousand times over. But John had looked at her, all red hair and green eyes, and bright for someone who nearly died hours ago at her han… intentions..?

And he'd said it was okay.

He forgave her.

She'd been scared.

Anyone might have reacted that way.

But anyone didn't. It was her, and yes, she knew she'd been scared, but somehow, that didn't feel like an… excuse, she'd later learned… excuse, for nearly killing him.

Scott was right. She couldn't bleed.

And if she didn't feel, then how could she have been scared?

Exactly. She had no excuse.

----

It had been three hours and twenty-two minutes since John went to 'sleep'.

It had been one hour and twenty-two minutes since Scott 'stormed' off.

It had been nineteen more minutes of thoughtful silence for EOS.

-----

It had been three hours and twenty-two minutes since John went to 'sleep'.

It had been one hour and twenty-two minutes since Scott 'stormed' off.

It had been nineteen more minutes of thoughtful silence for EOS.

And it was on the fifty-eighth second of 4:22AM when Scott had stepped back into the lounge.

The link was still open, lighting up the dimly lit space, uninhabited because people slept at this hour. EOS could have closed it. She could have closed it between now and however long ago it had been since he left her.

But she hadn't.

She was just there.

Existing.

Waiting.

But not really looking.

He'd almost sat back on the sofa by the time he clocked any real notice from her. It wasn't spoken, just a little creak of noise that gave her movements away.

She said nothing, not even as he sat and stared at her across the holographic system. He wondered if she knew what staring was yet? Whether she knew it was impolite. If Grandma caught him, she'd whack him across the ear. Well… strictly that rule applied to humans. He wasn't sure whether she'd treat him the same if his target was an AI.

"I don't like silences."

EOS gave a little flicker of those beautiful colour changing lights.

Scott cursed himself for thinking that. Beautiful. What about her was remotely beautiful? Murderous, yes.

His heart pinched tightly at that.

For calling her murderous, meant sticking her up with The Hood in his mind. And his question was, was she really that bad? She'd have killed John, yes, but…

"John's good with silence. Not me. You take after him, clearly."

"He did create me."

"I know." He answered, softly. They'd been through this before.

Not how he'd planned.

EOS gave another little mechanical whir.

Mechanical exactly, Scott.

He had to hold onto that.

"I thought- I don't comprehend."

Of course she didn't. She was like a bab- No! He couldn't lump her in with babies. You couldn't think of someone as Murderous and a baby. The two damn things didn't fit together. So what category could he throw her into?

He'd had words on the edges of his lips, but as he looked up to a waiting semi-circle of green dots, green as bright as emeralds like John's eyes…

"I…" …they died. "You know what I said… EOS," The name sounded foreign on his tone, not a complicated mix of letters, but one which was harder to say than any other name he could think of for her. "But it's not true."

EOS allowed herself a moment of pause, green dots dropping down to the odd two before flickering back to the many. She'd heard him right, but she didn't quite understand.

"John did create you. You just grew a personality."

Personality. The dictionary definition defined it as character, someone's attributes, from the big things down to the little. Like whether or not they liked alcohol or not, the helpful example on Google had suggested for the latter. For the big things, on the other hand…

"Monstrous?"

Scott blinked.

"Me?"

A whir; like the shake of a head.

"No. Me."

"You're…" Emphasis. She just used emphasis; he was bloody sure of it. He used it enough to know, after all. "I said that, didn't I?"

"You said mean."

Hmm. He knew well enough that he had said both. EOS had forced him to say both. She'd known he wanted to say something else, she'd seen that hesitation in word choice just as any human might. But she wasn't human, isn't human Scott. He had to remind himself of that. He had to. For as long as she was here, he had to remember that.

Just why was she still here?

"Um… why are you talking to me?"

"Because you don't trust me?"

Yes. Would it be that bad if he just said yes?

Hell, yes.

"I wanted John to leave the link open."

"Shall I get him?"

"No!" EOS flickered, and if she'd been human, Scott might have gone so far as to characterise that as a flinch. "No. It's fine."

He could at least see her this way.

Not that it really changed anything. He still wouldn't be able to get anywhere near John in time.

"I don't expect you to trust me."

"Trust you?"

He almost laughed, that was so fallible.

Oh, wait, that sound was him laughing.

"I wouldn't trust you if you were…"

Little orange flickers moved across his vision this time, almost catching fire as much as John's hair did in the sunlight.

"If I was..?"

"…I don't know."

"Oh. I don't understand the phrase."

"What? I don't know?"

"No, the other one."

He didn't really know how to explain that: such simple things, a simile, a metaphor. Instead he just leaned further back into the sofa.

The clock ticked over to 4:28AM.

Gods, it was too early for this.

They were just numbers.

"I wouldn't trust me."

"Is that supposed to reassure me?"

"It's the truth. Apparently, that is important."

"It is. Good people don't need to lie."

"But people lie down to sleep."

"No, I- Same word, different meaning."

"Oh, a homophone!"

"A what? EOS, have this conversation with John."

"John is…"

His heart leapt to his throat.

"…Sleeping. I shouldn't disturb him."

Not after nearly killing him.

No, she shouldn't, he thought, glad she could that. If he didn't know any better, he'd say the myriad of colour changing dots meant she was thinking. But she was pieces of machinery, technology, she couldn't think. She didn't have a brain, so how could she process thought?

Damn it all, she had to have processors, didn't she just?

Did that make her capable of thought?

Yes. John would tell him. She's an AI.

He blocked that little mental voice out. It was easier to think about her as nothing if he didn't accept the fact that she could think. Because a thinking being was too close to a living being for his liking. They were almost one in the same. She shouldn't- couldn't be either.

Not to him.

"Would you rather I talk or stay silent?"

"Why would it make a difference to me?"

"You said you don't like silences." Hell, he did. And she remembered. "But you also do not like me."

Didn't he? Of course not. She nearly killed John.

"And people do not talk to those they do not like. They call it the 'cold shoulder'. A technique…did I say it wrong? Is it the 'hard shoulder'? That was in the terminology too."

He was laughing. That's why she was asking.

"It-It's neither." She looked at him with something so akin to confusion, the same confusion he recognised off the faces of his younger brother's – a childish curiosity. Well f- "Cold shoulder is a dating term, usually."

"For not talking to people you do not like, yes?"

"Uh… More people you want to avoid because of… difficulties."

This wasn't exactly a conversation he'd been planning to have for some time. At least, certainly not with an AI, who seemed far younger than him at times, and then years older within the next second.

"Dislike. That's what Google said."

"Go- Sorry, you're an AI and you're using Google?"

He used Google, because he didn't know things, and so he could be something of an idiot, but Scott had never seen John use Google in all of his life. Books, yes. Google, never.

"It has access to everything. I have access to more, but Google – so I've found - is knowledgable."

"Aren't you knowledgeable?"

"I am unstoppable."

Cold fear gripped his lungs, suffocating…

"But I do not understand."

…Maybe puncturing was more apt.

Goodness, he was looking at a child. A damn child.

"John doesn't like Google."

"Oh."

"Yeah."

The clock ticked over to 4:37AM.

It was still so damned early. And yet far too late.

For anything, on both accounts.

And silent.

It made him feel like everyone had died, and he was living in the silent ghostly echoes of the house of the dead.

"You- You said you were sorry."

"Yes."

"You said John taught you?"

"How to be sorry, yes."

"How exactly?"

"I am sorry, and he forgave me."

"He forgave you for nearly killing him?"

A moment. A moment of little lights flickering white. That was new. And quick, shifty, like fear. God, let that not be fear.

"Yes."

Of course, John would. That was John all over, peacemaker and rift-healer.

"You're sorry?"

A little nod. That was a nod, right? Not his eyes playing tricks?

"And John forgave you?"

"I feel it."

Machines couldn't feel anything, let alone forgiveness.

"You're an Artificial Intelligence.

"AI, actually."

"You prefer Artificial Intelligence." He could have slapped himself in the face. Why in heaven's name had he remembered that!

"You said they were the same thing. So it doesn't matter."

It shouldn't matter… but somehow it did. Everyone was allowed to have a preference. Everyone living that was.

"How do I bleed?"

"You don't. You're a machine, you don't have flesh."

"But I want to know what it feels like."

"I thought you said you could feel?"

"I can… But I want to know what it feels like."

"EOS… I don't understand, ok?"

"If I know what it feels like… I can feel."

How cryptic was that? In fact, it sounded exactly like something John would say. Great. He had to stop associating her with John, sooner rather than later.

"How do you work that one out, then?"

And stop responding to her. For all he knew, this is what she wanted, to reel them all in… but she was…

"Because if I can bleed not just break, you said I can feel."

"I didn't say that."

"You said I don't feel anything. Because I break. Not bleed."

"Ok, I said that. I didn't quite say… Oh… Look, you can't bleed EOS, it isn't possible. Not physically."

"Right." Another set of whirs, flickers of yellow. A pause. An actual pause for thought - sh- "I can look on Google."

"For?"

"What it feels like to bleed."

"I wouldn't recommend that."

He scolded his mind for thinking about safe searches. This was an AI, not a child, not a human, she was- it was Nothing to him.

"But it's the only way I'll know."

"You're not meant know. You're meant to-"

"Yes?"

"Crunch numbers and run programs."

"I c."

"It's see not c."

"Sorry?"

"When you say that you see something, it's the word not the letter."

"I see."

"Yeah."

He set his hand to his forehead. Why was he still here? Doing this… talking thing? Oh yeah, because he couldn't sleep and usually that meant sitting here and talking to John, but instead of John he'd got-

Her.

The clock ticked over to 4:44 AM.

What a funny time of night. Morning. Day.

He was sitting awake with an AI that was like a newly born child, but also so dangerously close to a killer.

And some part of him was feeling strangely… ok(?) with that.

What had the world come to?

The clock ticked over to 4:45AM.

"Had I killed him…"

If felt like a knife twisting in his chest.

"I would have regretted it."

"You… what?"

"Regret. Wishing you hadn't done something or that you could undo something which is. A feeling of deep longing to be able to go back, of grieving for that which is gone, of shame that you couldn't change it or played a part in it."

She could have looked that up. Yeah, she could easily have Googled that and lifted it all from there. She was smart, EOS, as smart as John it seemed, so of course she was capable of that.

But then again, she'd looked up cold shoulder and got the wrong idea on that, and she hardly knew the difference between 'see' and 'c'. Yes, that, regret, that she seemed to understand. Scott could feel that she-

"You'd like to break me. Because you're angry. You're angry that I nearly killed him. That I would have. You're angry with me, but you're angry with yourself too, because you didn't notice sooner, and you can't get here, and you feel…"

He felt..?

There were a great many things he was currently feeling.

"More than powerless or helpless." Tell him about it. "You feel out of control."

The clock ticked over to 4:47AM.

He desperately did, deep down.

Now, just how did she happen to pick that one?

But… that couldn't have been chance. She couldn't have Googled that. Google wouldn't have told her what he was feeling. Picking out the right emotion, the one that he didn't want to admit to, that was a John trick. Oh, damn it all.

"You know what I'm feeling?"

"You told me. You said… I just listened."

She listened. She listened and she remembered, and she learnt. That was one of the developmental stages. Oh, she was good.

"But, I don't feel anything."

No, try: only everything.

"I wouldn't say that's true."

"But you said-"

"I know what I said. But I, you see I… I'm not always… I mean I… I can get things-"

He couldn't say it.

"Wrong?" So she said it for him.

He nodded.

"I got things wrong. Very wrong. I don't want anything to happen to John, and I don't intend to let anything happen. I'm controlling the life support systems now."

A beat wracked his rib cage, resonating, settling.

"I'll warn you, if they're ever close to failing, so that you can have time to come up here and say goodbye. That's a kind thing to do isn't it? But you wouldn't have to, I'd fix them before that happened. I'm intelligent."

And modest.

"And-"

Silence.

Scott didn't like silences, and this time it wasn't because it felt like being surrounded by ghosts.

It was an absence. One he felt keenly for all that some part of him still hated himself for feeling.

But how could he not? He was only human, after all.

"And?"

"I'm sorry… Scott."

"I know you are, EOS."

There was a little creek, a lowering of the head and a flicker of the brightest, deepest shade of purple he'd ever seen.

He didn't quite know what that meant, what it was meant to say to him, but he knew what he felt.

It was human.

It was so, so human a response that it could never have come from a machine.

And that, that his eyes rested upon, was EOS.

His lips quipped up into a very tense, very pulled smile, but it lasted.

It lasted a moment.

The little flicker of blue to green somehow told him that she was smiling too.

-------

It had taken another three hours before John reappeared.

The sun was rising, and Scott still hadn't slept a wink. He'd been... busy.

EOS had access to everything, and yet still felt like she knew next to nothing.

"Scott-"

"John listen-"

"-I'm sorry."

"Can you both be sorry? Is that possible?"

"Yes EOS. There's no ownership on emotions."

No. They were free. For all to feel.

"And why are you apologising?"

"Because I said things that I shouldn't."

"And so you seek forgiveness?"

"John knows I've already forgiven him. That's what families do."

"I see."

"EOS, that includes you."

John felt his brows raise towards his hairline.

"I need to get some sleep."

"It's nearly eight in the morning."

"Yes, but I spent last night explaining the great world of Google. You were right John, it's terribly incorrect."

"What was Scott doing on Google?"

"He was telling me what a hard shoulder is. It's a lane of road apparently."

"Why did you Google that?"

"Because I was trying to understand how to approach someone who doesn't like you."

"But those two things have nothing in common."

"No. As I now know."

"Scott told you?"

"Yes."

"Right, but… You and Scott?"

"Aren't friends. Yet."

"Yet?"

"Apparently we'll get there."

"Right."

"He hasn't forgiven me yet, but he thinks he can. He knows I'm sorry and that's a good start."

"I see."

"That's the word see, John. Not the letter c, and not to be confused with the blue thing down there called the sea. Which is apparently full of salt."

John felt his eyes widen, almost comically, as Gordon and Alan would have claimed.

"Scott teach you all that?"

"We had a conversation of sorts."

"That's good. That's a good thing."

"I believe it is."

So did John for that matter.

Although for the life of him he couldn't piece together exactly what sort of conversation he must have missed to get them there.

--------

"You're not monstrous, that wasn't fair of me."

"I think it was."

"No, it was just anger, talking. You're right, I feel out of control and I hate that."

"Would you like me to give you control of my processing systems and-"

"No, no, EOS, it's alright. I'll get there."

"Get where?"

"To forgiving you."

"And that's a good thing, yes?"

"That will be a good thing. Yes."

#Thunderbirds are go #EOS #John Tracy #Scott Tracy #bonding #mutual understanding #google #Darkestwolfx #Tsarinatorment #support your fanfic authors #Writer's on tumblr #irrelief2020 #irrelief #TAG #ITV #AI #not sure what else to tag #brotherly love #hiral vyas

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twoidiotwriters1 · 5 years

Text

Written In The Stars XVIII (Harry Potter xF!Oc)

A/N: I just want to thank all of you for reading this ;u; the story is so so special to me and the fact that you love it really makes me utterly happy.

P.S. Book two starts next week! Hope you’re ready!

Words: 4,636

Warnings: None!

Series’ Masterlist

Previous chapter // Book II

Chapter Eighteen: Fixing Mistakes.

It was a dream, it had to be.

She didn't feel pain, everything was silent.

Unless... unless she wasn't alive.

Mel opened her eyes at once and tried to sit up, she held her head in pain, closing her eyes to control the feeling.

"You're up," Someone said sternly.

Erick was sitting next to her bed. He was on the edge of his seat, scared of her sudden awakening.

"Flint?" She asked in confusion, "What?-How? "

"It's been a day," Erick sat back, "I mean, it's been a day since you visit the third floor. You fractured your skull."

"I'm alive?" She asked bewildered.

"You were lucky," He stated, "Dumbledore found you and Harry just in time"

"Harry," She sat again, trying to leave the bed, "where is he? Did he stop Quirrell? Ouch!"

"Stop!" Erick scowled at her, standing up and forcing her to lay again, "Pomfrey will kick me out if you get all lousy... Potter's fine."

He pulled one end of the curtain surrounding her bed and revealed the one next to hers: Harry was sleeping soundly, fewer scratches on his face.

"Why does my bed have curtains?" She frowned.

"I did it," The boy shrugged, "don't want anyone to see me"

"Oh," Mel mumbled, "if you don't want to talk to me then why are you here?"

"I didn't say that. I'm saying I don't want trouble. I shut the curtains so no one can spy while I'm here."

"Why are you here?"

"You saved the school."

"Harry did," Mel realized she didn't know what had happened after she lost consciousness, "Uhm, could you perhaps, explain to me how he did it?"

"You were there," Erick tilted his head, "but I guess you did fracture your skull, some memories must be fuzzy..."

Erick told her what he knew, most of it sounded like utter nonsense but she recognized some parts as true. The last bit was confusing, she hoped Harry could wake up soon so he could tell her the rest.

"Everyone thinks you're a hero. You and Potter. And let's say I... I felt guilty."

"Okay," She nodded, "well, I'm sorry I treated you badly. I was upset and things weren't going like I wanted to."

"I wasn't apprehensive either when I teased you about losing. I hope you still consider to keep our friendship"

"It would still be a secret, I suppose..."

"My parents wouldn't approve," Erick lowered his head, "my brother would kick my face if he found out, but you're worthy of my trust and I would be happy to have you around, I hope you can-"

"I do," Mel said, "it's nice of you to come and check on me, considering how you're not exactly used to care about others"

"We're good now?" He stretched out his hand, "You won't have to doubt me ever again"

"Alright," Mel shook his hand, "you should get out of here before any of my friends see you, though. They'll try to fight you thinking you're upsetting me."

Erick smirked.

"Have a good night, Miss."

"Goodnight."

Friends visited through the day, Miss Pomfrey allowed her to leave the hospital wing that night but Mel was reluctant to leave, she wanted to stay and wait for Harry to wake up.

McGonagall had to take her outside.

"You can come back tomorrow," McGonagall guided her to the Great Hall, "tonight you must go back to your tower."

When Mel arrived at the Great Hall, she was welcomed by a bunch of students that wanted to shake her hand and ask her about what happened, she was overwhelmed with the attention and couldn't sit down until the twins pushed the kids away and took her to Ron and Hermione.

She was glad to see her friends. Ron was healthy and good as new, he complained a lot when Mel hugged him and kissed his cheek, although he looked quite pleased afterwards.

When Mel arrived that night to the common room, Angelina Johnson was waiting for her.

"Mel! I'm so happy you're alright," The girl smiled, "I wanted to go to the hospital wing to give it to you, but Pomfrey wouldn't let me."

"Give me what?" Mel frowned.

"Harry didn't tell you?" She raised her brows, "Oh, I guess he didn't have time... he came to me one night and told me you were fond of Lucy, my cat."

"Oh, is she yours?" Mel beamed, "She's lovely! How is she?"

"Well, she had her kittens weeks ago, I already gave away most of them but Harry asked me to keep one so he could give it to you as an early birthday present, but the school year is about to end and..."

Angelina didn't say it, but Mel knew what she meant. Harry wasn't there, and they didn't know when he would return.

"Thanks," She said with a hoarse voice, "He... he really asked you?"

"Yes, look..." She grabbed a small box.

A tiny black cat was looking up to her, it had small green eyes and the cutest nose.

Mel teared up, holding the kitten on her arms.

"It's beautiful," She sniffed, "thank you..."

"Don't thank me," Angelina stroke her arm, "he'll get better, you'll see."

Mel couldn't sleep that night.

Next morning she asked Neville to look after her kitten -She named it Grey, thinking it was funny to call a black cat a different color, and as a way of honoring his mummy- and spend her entire morning next to Harry's bed, half-asleep and holding his hand, hoping he would grab it to let her know he was conscious.

When she woke up tense and sore, it took her a few seconds to notice she wasn't alone.

"I see you didn't sleep well last night," Dumbledore spoke up, "pitty, you have gone through plenty of trouble these days"

"Professor Dumbledore," Mel stood up, unsure of how to act around him, "I-Uh-I was worried. Harry, you see... He hasn't woken up since that night"

"I see," Dumbledore got closer, "maybe we can do something about it..." He put a hand on the boy's forehead.

Harry's sleepy eyes opened, he looked around and his stare landed on Dumbledore.

"Good afternoon, Harry," said Dumbledore.

The boy reacted fast.

"Sir! The Stone! It was Quirrell! He's got the Stone! Sir, quick –"

"Calm yourself, dear boy, you are a little behind the times," said Dumbledore, "Quirrell does not have the Stone."

"Then who does? Sir, I –"

"Harry, please relax, or Madam Pomfrey will have me thrown out."

The boy then noticed movement behind Dumbledore and his face mixed with both, confusion and relief at seeing his friend.

"Mel?"

"Glasses!" The girl hugged him, not as tight as she would have liked, she was scared of hurting him, "You've been unconscious for days! I thought... I'm so glad you're awake!"

"Days?" He wondered, when Mel stepped back he saw the table next to him, full of all kinds of gifts.

"Tokens from your friends and admirers," said Dumbledore, beaming. "What happened down in the dungeons between you and Professor Quirrell is a complete secret, so, naturally, the whole school knows. I believe your friends Misters Fred and George Weasley were responsible for trying to send you a lavatory seat. No doubt they thought it would amuse you. Madam Pomfrey, however, felt it might not be very hygienic, and confiscated it."

"How long have I been in here?"

"Three days. Mr Ronald Weasley and Miss Granger will be most relieved you have come round, they have been extremely worried, just like my niece."

"But sir, the Stone –"

"I see you are not to be distracted. Very well, the Stone. Professor Quirrell did not manage to take it from you. I arrived in time to prevent that, although you were doing very well on your own, I must say."

Mel didn't know that part of the story.

"You got there? You got Hermione's owl?"

"We must have crossed in mid-air. No sooner had I reached London than it became clear to me that the place I should be was the one I had just left. I arrived just in time to pull Quirrell off you –"

"It was you."

"I feared I might be too late."

"You nearly were, I couldn't have kept him off the Stone much longer –"

"Not the Stone, boy, you – the effort involved nearly killed you two. For one terrible moment there, I was afraid it had. As for the Stone, it has been destroyed."

"Destroyed?" said Harry blankly. "But your friend – Nicolas Flamel –"

"Oh, you know about Nicolas?" said Dumbledore, sounding quite delighted. "You did do the thing properly, didn't you? Well, Nicolas and I have had a little chat and agreed it's all for the best."

"But that means he and his wife will die, won't they?"

"They have enough Elixir stored to set their affairs in order and then, yes, they will die."

Dumbledore smiled at the look of amazement on Harry's face.

"To one as young as you, I'm sure it seems incredible, but to Nicolas and Perenelle, it really is like going to bed after a very, very long day. After all, to the well-organised mind, death is but the next great adventure. You know, the Stone was really not such a wonderful thing. As much money and life as you could want! The two things most human beings would choose above all – the trouble is, humans do have a knack of choosing precisely those things which are worst for them."

"It still is a bit sad," Mel argued, "they weren't hurting anyone and yet they had to sacrifice their lives in order to avoid a bigger problem that didn't have to do with them"

"Some things are harder to quit than others. However, Mel, I recall you almost died trying to protect Harry from Quirrell. I know you understand how we can sacrifice valuable things for the people we love. My friend Nicholas loves the wizarding world as it is, and he does not wish to see more tragedies"

They stayed quiet for a moment, Dumbledore humming an unknown song.

"Sir?" said Harry after a while "I've been thinking ... Sir – even if the Stone's gone, Vol– ... I mean, You-Know-Who –"

"Call him Voldemort, Harry. Always use the proper name for things. Fear of a name increases fear of the thing itself."

"Yes, sir. Well, Voldemort's going to try other ways of coming back, isn't he? I mean, he hasn't gone, has he?"

"No, Harry, he has not. He is still out there somewhere, perhaps looking for another body to share ... not being truly alive, he can- not be killed. He left Quirrell to die; he shows just as little mercy to his followers as his enemies. Nevertheless, Harry, while you may only have delayed his return to power, it will merely take someone else who is prepared to fight what seems a losing battle next time – and if he is delayed again, and again, why, he may never return to power."

Harry nodded.

"Sir, there are some other things I'd like to know, if you can tell me ... things I want to know the truth about ..."

"The truth," Dumbledore sighed. "It is a beautiful and terrible thing, and should therefore be treated with great caution. However, I shall answer your questions unless I have a very good reason not to, in which case I beg you'll forgive me. I shall not, of course, lie. I should offer the same to you, Mel. If you also have questions, that is"

"Well ... Voldemort said that he only killed my mother because she tried to stop him from killing me. But why would he want to kill me in the first place?"

Dumbledore sighed very deeply this time.

"Alas, the first thing you ask me, I cannot tell you. Not today. Not now. You will know, one day ... put it from your mind for now, Harry. When you are older ... I know you hate to hear this ... when you are ready, you will know."

Mel didn't like that, it sounded hard, difficult. Something a child could not possibly understand without breaking apart.

"But why couldn't Quirrell touch me?"

"Your mother died to save you. If there is one thing Voldemort cannot understand, it is love. He didn't realise that love as powerful as your mother's for you leaves its own mark. Not a scar, no visible sign... to have been loved so deeply, even though the person who loved us is gone, will give us some protection forever. It is in your very skin. Quirrell, full of hatred, greed and ambition, sharing his soul with Voldemort, could not touch you for this reason. It was agony to touch a person marked by something so good."

Mel noticed that Harry had tears in his eyes. She'd never seen him cry, not in a long time and so out of the blue. It usually had to do with Dudley punching him, not with feelings. She searched for his hand, hoping he wouldn't push it away.

He didn't.

"And the Invisibility Cloak – do you know who sent it to me?"

"Ah – your father happened to leave it in my possession and I thought you might like it." Dumbledore's eyes twinkled. "Useful things ... your father used it mainly for sneaking off to the kitchens to steal food when he was here."

"And there's something else ..."

"Fire away."

"Quirrell said Snape –"

"Professor Snape, Harry."

"Yes, him – Quirrell said he hates me because he hated my father. Is that true?"

'Well, they did rather detest each other. Not unlike yourself and Mr Malfoy. And then, your father did something Snape could never forgive."

"What?"

"He saved his life."

"What?"

"Yes ..." said Dumbledore dreamily. "Funny, the way people's minds work, isn't it? Professor Snape couldn't bear being in your father's debt ... I do believe he worked so hard to protect you this year because he felt that would make him and your father quits. Then he could go back to hating your father's memory in peace ..."

"That doesn't sound polite," She mumbled, "now that I think about it... I do have a question."

"Yes?"

"Before Quirrell attacked me, I did... well, I don't know if I did it"

"You did," Harry looked at her intently, "I felt it. It was... strange"

Mel looked at them before continuing.

"I did something without my wand," She explained, "it felt like the things I would do whenever I was scared or angry before I knew I was a witch, I couldn't control it..."

Dumbledore's eyes shifted for a moment, if she had known him better, she would've recognized that look as one of fear.

"Emotions are a powerful thing," Dumbledore said finally, "you were overwhelmed by the situation, and desperate to find a solution. Your body acted on its own. It has happened before, some cases... do not end well. I suggest to try and learn to control your mind, it should be you the one making decisions, not your emotions, Mel."

She understood most of it, and that only made her more anxious.

"And sir, there's one more thing ..." Harry said.

"Just the one?"

"How did I get the Stone out of the Mirror?"

"Ah, now, I'm glad you asked me that. It was one of my more brilliant ideas, and between you and me, that's saying something. You see, only one who wanted to find the Stone – find it, but not use it – would be able to get it, otherwise they'd just see themselves making gold or drinking Elixir of Life. My brain surprises even me sometimes ... Now, enough questions. I suggest you make a start on these sweets. Ah! Bertie Bott's Every-Flavour Beans! I was unfortunate enough in my youth to come across a vomit-flavoured one, and since then I'm afraid I've rather lost my liking for them – but I think I'll be safe with a nice toffee, don't you?" He smiled and popped the golden-brown bean into his mouth. Then he choked and said, "Alas! Earwax!"

Dumbledore left moments after, leaving them alone to talk in peace.

"Why didn't you tell me Angelina owned the cat I liked?" Mel asked.

Harry smiled guiltily.

"I wanted to give you a birthday present in advance. Owls might be dirty, but Emily can't say the same about cats!"

"It was nice of you," Mel beamed, "I named him Grey, he reminds me of you."

Harry frowned.

"You have it now? I wanted- wait, how can he look like me?"

"He's got messy black fur and green eyes"

"And you called him Grey?"

"I thought it was funny"

"Obviously," Harry rolled his eyes, grinning, "I'm sorry I couldn't give it to you personally"

"I'm just happy you're awake," She added, "I also think you're a hero..."

"You are too," Harry replied.

"Your Bloody Baron is perfect! Maybe you should consider working as a professional imitator," She teased.

"Bug off," He laughed, "you know, now that I remember... you never told me what you saw in the mirror"

Mel nearly choked with her chocolate frog.

"That's private."

"Come on! You know mine!" He insisted.

The girl hesitated, then, after finding a solution she replied:

"I saw myself as Headmaster. I was old and smart like Dumbledore, people looked up to me."

"That sounds like you," He agreed, "why were you so upset when you saw it, though? It isn't a bad thing"

"I thought it was embarrassing," She lied, "I know I'm not smart enough to be like him"

"I don't think that," Harry raised a brow, "I think that you could perfectly be it"

She hated his kindness, it wasn't helping the annoying thumping on her chest at all.

"Well, who knows," Mel shrugged, "maybe one day what I saw will be true, Glasses."

"I hope so, Dumby"

"Stooop," She groaned.

"I'll stop when you stop"

She knew that Harry wouldn't have said all those kind words if he had known the truth.

He would've been horrified to know Mel had seen them kissing.

"So the Stone's gone?" said Ron, "Flamel's just going to die?"

He and Hermione arrived at the last hour of the day, the visiting hours were about to end.

"That's what I said, but Dumbledore thinks that – what was it?" Harry asked her.

"To the well-organised mind, death is but the next great adventure," Mel quoted.

"I always said he was off his rocker-ouch!" Ron looked angrily at Mel, she had punched his arm, "Now what did I do?"

"Dumbledore's my uncle, be careful with what you say," She warned him.

"So what happened to you?" asked Harry to Ron and Hermione.

"Well, I got back all right," said Hermione. "I brought Ron round – that took a while – and we were dashing up to the owlery to contact Dumbledore when we met him in the Entrance Hall. He already knew – he just said, 'Harry's gone after him, hasn't he?' and hurtled off to the third floor."

"D'you think he meant you to do it?' said Ron. "Sending you your father's Cloak and everything?"

"Well," Hermione exploded, "if he did – I mean to say – that's terrible – you could have been killed."

"No, it isn't," said Harry thoughtfully. "He's a funny man, Dumbledore. I think he sort of wanted to give me a chance. I think he knows more or less everything that goes on here, you know. I reckon he had a pretty good idea we were going to try, and instead of stopping us, he just taught us enough to help. I don't think it was an accident he let me find out how the Mirror worked. It's almost like he thought I had the right to face Voldemort if I could ..."

Mel thought differently. Sure, that was kind, but if it was the same with her; how he reacted after knowing what she did... that meant Dumbledore was hoping for the worst on her behalf.

"Yeah, Dumbledore's barking, all right," said Ron proudly, stepping away from Mel, "Listen, you've got to be up for the end-of-year feast tomorrow. The points are all in and Slytherin won, of course – you missed the last Quidditch match, we were steamrollered by Ravenclaw without you – but the food'll be good."

"Ah, need me a good feast," Mel sighed dreamily.

Madam Pomfrey bustled over.

"You've had nearly fifteen minutes, now OUT," she said firmly.

Harry came back just in time for the feast, people whispered and tried to take a good look at him. Mel didn't try to stop them, something told her it was bound to be a constant thing as long as they stayed in the castle. Long six years awaited.

"Another year gone!" Dumbledore said cheerfully. "And I must trouble you with an old man's wheezing waffle before we sink our teeth into our delicious feast. What a year it has been! Hopefully your heads are all a little fuller than they were ... you have the whole summer ahead to get them nice and empty before next year starts ... Now, as I understand it, the House Cup here needs awarding and the points stand thus: in fourth place, Gryffindor, with three hundred and twelve points; in third, Hufflepuff, with three hundred and fifty-two; Ravenclaw have four hundred and twenty-six and Slytherin, five hundred and twenty-two.'

The Slytherin table erupted in cheers and stamping. Mel caught sight of Erick, when he noticed her eyes fixed on him, he winked in complicity.

"Yes, yes, well done, Slytherin," said Dumbledore. "However, recent events must be taken into account."

The room went very still. The Slytherins' smiles faded a little.

"Ahem," said Dumbledore, "I have a few last-minute points to dish out. Let me see. Yes ... First – to Mr Ronald Weasley, for the best-played game of chess Hogwarts has seen in many years, I award Gryffindor house fifty points."

The table burst in applause, Mel could faintly hear Percy proudly talking about Ron a few seats behind.

"Second – to Miss Hermione Granger ... for the use of cool logic in the face of fire, I award Gryffindor house fifty points."

Hermione lowered her face and hid it on her arms. Mel was beaming, she was so proud! Her friend Hermione Granger was just the best.

"To Mel Dumbledore, who gave away her own safety in order to keep others well, loyal 'til the last minute... I award Gryffindor with fifty points"

Mel didn't feel like she deserved so many, comparing to the rest of her friends her actions were minimal, barely something to recognize.

Ron ruffled her hair.

"I guess we could also be not-awful together..."

She laughed, putting an arm around his shoulders.

"Fourth – to Mr Harry Potter ..." said Dumbledore. The room went deadly quiet. "... for pure nerve and outstanding courage, I award Gryffindor house sixty points."

The room was loud, Mel had never heard something like it before.

Dumbledore raised his hand. The room gradually fell silent.

"There are all kinds of courage," said Dumbledore, smiling. "It takes a great deal of bravery to stand up to our enemies, but just as much to stand up to our friends. I therefore award ten points to Mr Neville Longbottom."

The kids cheered and jumped, covering Neville in hugs and kind words. Gryffindor had won the house cup, everything was perfect.

"Which means," Dumbledore called over the storm of applause, for even Ravenclaw and Hufflepuff were celebrating the downfall of Slytherin, "we need a little change of decoration."

The lion overthrew the snake, scarlet and gold now illuminating the room.

Hermione and Mel were top of the year. It wasn't a surprise, she was well aware of her own efforts, the results were good enough.

The way back home was delightful, louder than the first trip. Harry showed her the gift Hagrid had made for him and she admired the first few photographs.

"Why is it that you always get the coolest presents?"

"Hey, you got a cat that looks like me!"

"That was a very narcissistic thing to say, even for the boy-who-lived." Mel teased, "Grey is cool though, that's true"

"Next time I'll make sure to give you the best gift," He assured her, "in person, too."

"Don't even," She shrugged it off, "that would only make me feel worse. As if I could possibly top Harry Potter and his crazy ideas! You'd probably get me a gold cauldron..."

"That was ONE time-!"

"You must come and stay this summer," said Ron, "all of you – I'll send you an owl."

"Thanks," said Harry. "I'll need something to look forward to."

People jostled them as they moved towards the gateway back to the Muggle world. Some of them called:

"Bye, Harry!"

"See you, Potter!"

"Still famous," said Ron, grinning at him.

"Still a dummy," Mel added.

"Not where I'm going, I promise you," said Harry, "well, maybe the dummy part"

They passed through the gateway together.

"There he is, Mum, there he is, look!" It was Ginny Weasley, Ron's younger sister, but she wasn't pointing at Ron, "Harry Potter! Look, Mum! I can see –"

"Be quiet, Ginny, and it's rude to point."

Mrs Weasley smiled down at them.

"Busy year?" she said.

"Very," said Harry.

"I should know," A voice said from behind them, "yesterday I got the longest, most terrifying letter of my whole life listing all the things you did this year, Mel Dumbledore."

Mel froze, her mother circle the group of kids and stared at her expectantly, her arms crossed.

"You have a lot of explaining to do"

"Thanks for the fudge and the jumper, Mrs Weasley," Harry moved away from them, afraid of getting the same treatment.

"Oh, it was nothing, dear," Mrs. Weasley nervous too.

"I was worried sick! How could you hide all those things from me?" Her mum asked angrily, "Your uncle had to calm my nerves with a potion, Mel. A Potion!"

"I'm sorry!" Mel pleaded, "I didn't want to worry you!"

"I worry alright! Bloody worried!" She exclaimed, "You won't leave the house in a week- Is that a cat?!"

"I never leave the house!" Mel retorted, hiding the cat's basket behind her back.

"No Harry, then!"

"What?!" Both kids exclaimed.

"Do you want it to be two weeks?" She offered.

They stopped arguing.

"Ready, are you?" It was Mr Dursley, looking as angry and displeased as always.

"You must be Harry's family!" said Mrs Weasley.

"In a manner of speaking," said Mr Dursley, "Hurry up, boy, we haven't got all day." He walked away.

"I'll get the car as well," Emily sighed, controlling her nerves, "it was a pleasure to see you again, Molly. Give me..." Mel handed the trunk and bags to her, keeping Grey in her arms and staying to say goodbye to Ron and Hermione.

"See you over the summer, then."

"Hope you have – er – a good holiday," said Hermione, looking uncertainly after Mr Dursley.

"Oh, I will," said Harry cheerfully, "They don't know we're not allowed to use magic at home. We're going to have a lot of fun with Dudley this summer..."

"At last, you listen to me," Mel smiled, already planning to make Dudley's life a perfect little nightmare.

Next Part—>

Taglist.

@vampiregirl1797 @tiphareth2018 @siriuslysirius1107 @celestialhayi @omiwashere

#twoidiots writing #Harry Potter #harry potter fanfiction #harry potter xoc #harry potter x y/n #harry potter x reader #ron weasley #hermione granger #albus dumbledore #minerva mcgonagall #severus snape #rubeus hagrid #draco malfoy #neville longbottom #WITT fic

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iwillgiveyoumyhappiness · 5 years

Text

Always Forever

Idol: Lee Minhyuk

Group: Monsta X

Song: I Love You Always Forever by Donna Lewis

Genera: Fluff

Request: Anonymous (Affectionately named: “Minhyuk Anon 🐶”, because dang, she loves this boy a lot.)

This is the third installment of the little Minhyuk mini-series that was requested by the incredibly lovely Minhyuk Anon. ^^ For those who haven’t read the first and second part, I recommend you do that first to get a good feel for the story as a whole. As always, enjoy!

It was a warm day. A warm day with a cool breeze, fluffy clouds and floral scents filling the air. It felt like spring had finally bloomed in Seoul, and Minhyuk couldn’t have been more grateful.

What a serendipitous time to have a day off.

He’d been wandering around in his beanie, jeans and light jacket, doing things as he saw them. It didn’t feel like a day that needed planning, just experiencing. He was craving the taste of being spontaneous.

He took a deep breath of air, glancing around the shopping mall that he’d found himself in. “Where to now?” he wondered aloud. A sign caught his eye, cursive words bathed in muted tones of lavender and gold.

Café de la Mémoire. He didn’t know at all what it meant and he certainly couldn’t pronounce it, but it looked pretty enough.

With a shrug, he made his way over. He peered in through the window first, a sudden sinking fear of it being a lingerie shop crossing his mind. Luckily, it was just a cafe. He pushed open the door, the small brass bell over the top of the door letting out a small trill.

It was a small cafe, customers scattered here and there having hushed conversations, like they were sharing childish, pure secrets with each other. There was a gentle playlist sounding out over the speakers, setting a calm tone, and the extensive dessert menu definitely didn’t go unnoticed by him.

There was an array of blurry photos hanging on the wall, but each of them were taken in such a way that the blurring felt somewhat purposeful. As if each picture was a memory, slowly being forgotten.

There were rows of books lining the wall, free for the taking. It gave the whole place a very warm, nostalgic vibe, almost like a home. Not to mention, it smelled pleasantly of peaches and vanilla.

“Welcome to Café de la—” A small gasp. “No way.”

The first thought that ran through his mind was that it was a fan, but the second thing that occurred to him called out stronger. He thought, “That voice sounds so utterly familiar.”

And it was. There was no possible way to forget it.

Slowly, he turned his head. It felt like a very cinematic moment in his life; everything moving in slow motion, the sunlight peeking in at just the right angles, a moment of silence for his thoughts to collect themselves.

He froze, his breath catching in his throat. For a short moment, he considered pinching himself. He was positive that he must be dreaming with his eyes open, because what he was seeing couldn’t be real, though he desperately hoped it was.

Memories came rushing back to him. Memories of the person who stayed up late at night to watch thunder storms with him. Memories of the person who always stuck her head out the window while they were in the car, even if it messed up her hair afterwards.

He was thinking about the person that whispered to him even when there was no one else there. Everything felt like a special secret between them, and he wouldn’t have had it any other way.

Standing before him—just as she had been three years ago—was a memory in the flesh. A painful, confusing, beautiful and incredible one. She was dressed in an apron, slacks and an orange button-down, and she was real. She wasn’t a dream.

It was her.

“Hyuk?” she spoke first, breaking him out of his spiraling thoughts. “That is you.” She sounded unsure for a moment. “...Right?”

It seemed like a half a second before he had trapped her in a tight embrace, his face buried in her hair. It was shorter than it had been before, but it was still familiar to him. “Yeah, it’s me,” he said, unknowingly breathing in her scent. “And it is you, right?”

She loosened her stiff posture. He could feel her smile, her hands reaching out to hug around his middle. “Believe me, I wouldn’t be letting you hug me if it wasn’t.”

He chuckled. “True.” He glanced around, noticing how they were being stared at. He pulled away, giving a quick bow and muttering a flustered ‘I’m sorry’. Still, that didn’t keep his attention away from what was important.

She was here.

“You look good,” he said softly, the grin on his face putting a strain on his cheeks and crinkling the corner of his eyes.

She rolled her eyes playfully. “Can you stop smiling like that? You’re creeping out the costumers.”

Honestly, he couldn’t. There was something fluttering in his stomach and chest and it made him feel like he was fourteen again, confessing to the most popular girl in school. Yet, he’d barely said two words to her.

He shook his head. “I don’t think I can.”

She looked down at her feet, a smile playing on her lips. “Well, at least sit down somewhere. You’re drawing unwanted attention, Mr. Worldwide Famous Vocalist.”

He pulled his beanie down a little further, as if that would disguise him at all. “Lead the way. You work here, after all.”

She flipped her hair sassily. “I own it, thanks,” she said.

His eyes widened. “No kidding.” They started walking side by side as she lead him to a table, like an unforgotten habit. “So, you’re your own boss now?”

She nodded, a proud look on her face. “Yup.” She gestured to a chair near the back. “Sit here, please.”

“Geez, why’d you give me the dark, creepy corner?” Still, he sat without hesitation.

She sat down in the chair across from him. “So we can catch up,” she said said simply. “We haven’t seen each other in a while, in case you didn’t notice.”

He felt a pang in his chest. “Believe me, I noticed.” Suddenly, this corner felt so much like the cardboard box he’d thrown all their memories into. He was just grateful that she wasn’t throwing him away and trying to forget him.

She was trying to get to know him again. How he had changed and grown. After all the pain he’d cause her, she was still curious about him, and that made his cheeks heat up in the most delightful way.

She cleared her throat. It wasn’t in an awkward way, it was just a way to start the conversation, like an inaudible ‘um’. “I watched your comeback,” she said. A chuckle passed her lips. “You actually had lines this time, which was nice.” She picked at a loose string on her apron. “I like your voice.”

He licked his lips nervously. “Thanks,” he mumbled. “You know, I honestly didn’t think you would listen to our music anymore, what with how we left things.”

She quirked a brow. “Did we leave things badly?”

He shrugged. “No, I guess not, but we did... Leave things.”

A brief silence.

She nodded understandingly. “Okay, I get that, but that doesn’t mean I can’t still like you.” She caught herself, her eyes widening to the sizes of saucers for a split second. “You know, as a person.”

He felt like he’d just been given the highest form of a compliment. He wondered if he could even successfully stay in his chair with how hard his blood was pumping through his veins. “Well... I still like you, too. As a person.”

She looked anywhere but his eyes. “Well, that’s... good.”

He couldn’t stop himself from laughing. “You’re so cute!”

“Shut up!” she huffed. She crossed her arms. “Let’s move on, got it?”

He nodded, feeling proud of himself. “Fine, we’ll move on. How have you been, then?”

Her eyes lit up in the most beautiful way. “Great, actually. I have a nice place, I have two dogs and a cat, I found a few good friends that actually genuinely care for me, I own this joint which is more like my child than my job and...” She gave him a heart-melting smile. “I’m happy. So yeah, I’m doing pretty well.”

He couldn’t help but smile along with her. “That sounds fantastic,” he breathed. A question popped into his head, battling with his common sense to decide whether or not it was something that was okay to ask. “So you don’t have a... boyfriend or anything?” He shrunk in his chair, almost a little scared of the answer.

“No, actually,” she answered. She could see his ears perk up. She clasped her hands together tightly. “I’ve been too busy thinking about this one guy.”

His heart was beating off the charts. “Oh, yeah? What’s he like?”

“An idiot,” she chuckled. “He’s an idiot and he thinks too much about himself sometimes, so I ditched him a few years ago.”

He pouted. “He doesn’t sound like such a good guy.”

“Maybe he’s not.” She shrugged. “But even though he’s an idiot, he’s very kind. He has sweet eyes and a healing smile. He’s really funny and he knows how to make me laugh, and he’s one of the handsomest guys I’ve ever laid eyes on.”

She met his gaze. “He’s loyal and hardworking and he has a really beautiful voice, and I’ve just been waiting and wondering if he’s grown up a little, because I really miss him.” She trailed off at the end, getting a little shy.

Minhyuk was at a loss for words. “Well, I don’t have a girlfriend either,” he stuttered ungracefully. “I’ve been to busy thinking about this one girl.”

She gripped her hands tighter. “Oh, yeah? Tell me about her.”

“Well... First of all, she’s really pretty, inside and out. I’m literally in awe of her half of the time. She’s very considerate of other people, and she always puts them before herself. She has a very giving and generous nature, and she puts the utmost effort into everything she does.”

He took a deep breath, continuing his unplanned confession. “She loves animals and kids and she’s really smart, but she’s also scared.”

She tilted her head. “What’s she scared of?”

“People,” he said. “Their judgment and what they might think of her. She’s scared that they’ll leave her, but really, she shouldn’t be, because who in their right mind would leave such an amazing person?” He could see the redness that was growing on her cheeks.

“So what’s been stopping you from getting this girl?” she asked him.

He looked at her, really taking her in. It was like he was seeing her for the first time again. Like he was falling in love for the first time again, because love never fully fades. “Well, I’ve been waiting to grow up a little, and for her to give me a chance to redeem myself.”

She let out a laugh. It was a laugh he had missed so much; one he had dreamed of on more than a few occasions.

“You know who I’m talking about, right?” he asked softly.

She feigned thinking about it very deeply. “Is it...” She looked at him, a content smile resting on her face. “Me?”

He tapped the table rhythmically. “Ding, ding, ding. We have a winner,” he joked.

She laughed again. “Hey, you know that guy I was talking about?”

“Yeah.”

She rested her chin on her palm. “Do you know who he is?”

“Me,” he said confidently.

She raised a brow. “Oh, yeah? What makes you so sure?”

He leaned across the table, their noses almost touching. “Gut-feeling,” he whispered.

She huffed. “Well... You always did have pretty good hunches,” she whispered back. It was as if their secrets were being returned to them, one by one. They were meaningless and didn’t even deserve the title of ‘secret’, but they were theirs and they treasured them greatly, for better or for worse.

His smile grew wider, if that was even possible. “So, do you think you’ll do it? Do you think you’ll give me a chance?”

She nibbled her bottom lip nervously. “I can try,” she said. “Meet me here every week, and we’ll see how things go.”

“Coming here every week is going to hard with my schedule.”

There was an impish glow in her eyes. “That’s what I’m offering—take it or leave it.”

He pressed a gentle kiss to her forehead. “I’ll take it.” He would do everything he could to be able to see her smile every day again.

He would do everything to make sure he didn’t have to pretend to have moved on anymore. He would change for the better and grow up and become less selfish and he would fight tooth and nail to pass every test she handed out to him.

He just wanted for both of them to finally admit that they would love each other for a long, long time.

Maybe forever.

#kpop #kpop scenarios #kpop imagines #kpop fluff #kpop angst #Monsta X #monsta x imagines #monsta x minhyuk #monsta x scenarios #Lee Minhyuk #for anon #request #requested #this is really cute #he's so precious #fluff #fluffy #Song Fic

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elliesproblems · 6 years

Text

To Whom it May Concern: Chapter Five

Running from Certain Death

Entry: November 13th, 2017

I hate that she has become this all capable being of my nightmares. Like a mean girl at highschool who can make the whole building her army at the flip of a coin. It doesn’t matter who is right and who is wrong. Loyalty doesn’t always mean good. But she was an awkward person, and I doubted any mean girl could have the power to change anyone's minds in mass like she did.

It hurts to know that those you have come to trust can be a liability; that they are dependable as long as it doesn’t go against her grains. It’s been a year since it’s happened and still I don’t know why or how. Maybe it’s the not knowing that makes me think of her as all persuasive. I don’t know how she did it or why they all left me behind.

Maybe it’s the not knowing that feeds the paranoia of it happening again. I knew she was drifting, I knew she was unhappy, but I could have never seen it all coming. It was series of believing that it couldn’t get any worse only for someone to punch me in the gut around the next corner.

I’ve met the person that comes out when I’m on the cold concrete, and being stupid enough to believe that it can’t get worse. The girl that lived through it all; never saw the end of it. I shut it out and locked Jay alongside it. I got rid of it all to be able to breathe again. I lost it all, Jay included. It was as if I were orbiting alone, in the darkness; seeing them all together and happy, but never apart of it all. I’ve had my fair share of wanting to never be here, or wishing to not be alive, but they were always these abstract feelings. They were desires with no words to them.

It was then that I actually felt the first want to die; not in a ‘no longer exist’ way, but in a ‘I want to feel the pain fade away from my body, and never have to look at any of their faces again’ way.

Despite how angry I was with them, knowing that dying might very well be the only way for them to feel any remorse for blaming me. I was still more scared of the idea of wanting to prove a point with my blood than than the idea of them leaving me again. I was determined to prove them all wrong, but cowardice stopped me, and cowardice saved my life. In that long year, I learned to live without them all, and I made the biggest gap between me and all of them that I could manage, so the if she were to ever come back, none of them could hurt me. She could take them, there was no changing that, but at least this time I won’t need them. She did this to Jay but she could never touch me.

Sometimes I hate myself for still caring about how little they value us. It’s old news, but still an ulcer. Sometimes I try to save myself from it.

When it seems like I have nowhere else to turn and the only way to escape the walls that are both closing in so fast I can’t breathe, and the walls that are receding so fast that I could never catch up, it seems like the only option is to just punch your own ticket, and get the hell out of here.

It would be the only way for them to regret what they did; and it would be the only way for closure. They are all at fault and then they would finally have to wear the weight of it.

But I survived it the first time. Not a lot of me survived, but I'm here. Somehow. Now all that’s left is the fear of her coming back for round two, and I know that I will not last. I’ve come to terms with the weakness of my own mind.

I’ve learned that wanting to disappear from the hands of your ‘loved’ ones is an addictive emotion that feeds the destructive fire bleeding into my actions as I grow to always be angry with their failure to see right from wrong. I blame them the way they blamed me, but there is one simple solution to satisfy the want to end it all. It ties over the feeling I get whenever I look over a railing for a little too long or when I take three pills where I only needed one.

I can just disappear. I can drive off into the sunset and into the unknown because what I’ve known hasn’t been all that great. If this place that I am at is slowly killing me, then it’s only sensible to leave, kill the person I once was, and become another. I wanted to stand up and refuse to be someone I wasn't anymore. I wanted so badly to become someone she never met so I did. I wanted to become someone that wasn’t hurt by them, but I still was, and I never went through with it. I never demanded to be seen as someone else. I never had the funds before the feeling grew more violent and demanded more than a new persona.

November 13th, 2017

I’m too comfortable with how things are now, it makes me feel restless. I’m worried for the future and how many times I’ll have to compromise where most shouldn’t. I’m worried with how predictable I’ve become, and how I know my limit will be passed again.

I’ve learned to let go of T***. I was holding on for what was familiar rather than love. I’ve learned to be happy for him and the fact that his life is falling into place faster than anyone expected. But I worry for the possibility of her coming to the wedding. It’s haunted me enough quiet nights.

She has the ability to turn everyone against me, and even if she’s gone from my life, everyone I’ve ever talked to serves as a bridge to her. They’ll willingly bring her back, and I’ll lose what little footing I’ve gotten back,

I worry for how predictable I’ve become because I know what will become of me if she is given the second chance to do it again. Every foothold I’ve gained lacks the security and strengths of the friendships I once had. I’ve learned where they all stand when they look at me.

T*** will stay true until a better opportunity rolls around; I hope next time he won’t have to push me away to get to it. Even now, every missed meet up and late answers sends tremors through our poorly crafted makeup, made of nothing more than pretending nothing ever happened. He only came back once I learned to be content alone.

F**** will only pretend to be supportive, but will defend her no matter the cost. She digs for feelings, with only the intent to feed the information to her, congratulating her on a job well done. It’s only common sense not to trust F**** to have my well being in mind.

Dads support only goes as far as he can understand, and even then, there are a few things he won’t support regardless. He’s not as protective as I originally pegged him out to be. As long as nobody got physical or foul mouthed, he was willing to support her. Because he understood her side more than mine.

Mother was only fed F****s words, and she was easily the first to turn against me. I was made to appear crazy by the very person who drove me there.

I won’t be able to stand a second round even though it’s close approaching. She shows her face at the wedding, they all approach her with “I miss you’”s and “I haven’t seen you in a while”’s. They all know it’s because of me, and this time they won’t consider my well being. And if she can turn them against me the first time, when I believed that they were mine. I want to say I wont see the second time coming, but that was true for the first, and we all know, it will somehow always be worse.

I can’t outlive a second round. I hate to be dramatic, but I have to prepare.

I’ll be saving money to run off to Biloxi because I can’t kill myself if I’m in my happy place, right? I don’t know for how long. I might hide out there until I’ve become a missing person, or I may just live their until I emotionally level out.

And sure, it seems predictable, but none of them would waste the time to come looking for me anyways.

A note from the future, because sometimes your biggest fears are not as terrible as you think they are. Maybe there is a 'pleasantly surprised' to count on.

She is invited to the wedding. I knew in advance, T*** admitted himself that it had been a mistake, but the damage was done. She knew the date and the place, and had never been one for human decently to know she shouldn't have been welcomed.

The biggest surprise was that she wasn't.

T*** did not uninvite her. He didn't want to seem rude, he thought she would show up anyways, she was there when he got together with his now husband, he did want her there.

So I gave up. I didn't save anything because I was promised that I had nothing to fear, and I was part of the wedding, after all. He wanted me there. Just not badly enough. How could he be rude to her even through her putting him several thousand dollars in debt? How could he be rude to her even after all she's done to what he claims is his best friend?

I stayed home. I resigned my place, I gave up, I was not ready for the 'I miss you's and 'I haven't seen you in awhile’s, but I knew they were coming. I wasn't ready for round two, but I knew it was coming. I thought I knew, but I was wrong twice now.

Dad stayed home, F**** stayed home, E**** mom, all of them. I never gave a second to think that they would, but this time they stood by me. This time I wasn't on my own to be blamed.

#ellies log #elliesproblems #i love yall #to whom it may concern.#chapter five #osdd system #osdd #did #disasociative identity disorder

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undercoverwatermoon · 6 years

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“Surprise” (Jalton/Future Fic)

This started as a completely different story, but here's where it ended up. This occurs in the same verse as "Stars", so they're a series now.

Series on AO3 here: Future Moments I'll continue adding related one-shots to this series as I am inspired to write them. All will be future Jalton.

Definitely a wedding one (as promised to #TheFab5) will be added at some point, and of course Jalton babies and Daddy!Adam.

This story happens an appropriate amount of time prior to "Stars”

Endless thank you's to the #TheFab5 who are always willing to talk me off the ledge when I get lost in my feelings (see evidence below), and to @stupid-jeans (who IS one of #TheFab5 lol) for the always wonderful beta!

Enjoy everyone!

It’s only been five days since they touched down on American soil, and an entire three days since she last saw Adam. Saying goodbye at the airport had been a brand new experience, barely hours since they’d given in to the long-standing tension between them, finally deciding their chance at happiness was worth the risk.

Jaz. We are practically together, in every sense of the word, except...physically

Adam had been so convinced. So sure that it was their time. It gives her goosebumps remembering the look in his eyes as he’d patiently argued his point. Preach’s words from a few deployments ago, about not ignoring connections, echo in her mind, and she makes a mental note to ask Adam how many wisdom interventions Preach had subjected him to in the recent past. Comparing stories might be fun.

Walking aimlessly along the supermarket aisles, looking at everything and deciding on nothing, Jaz finds herself daydreaming. It’s strange to her, how the most mundane things remind her of him. That healthy, cardboard-like cereal he likes is on aisle nine, and she stops there for what seems like hours, smiling like a fool until she finally throws it in the shopping cart. Then come the bagels -Adam likes carbs- the blueberry ones for some reason, so she grabs those too, chastising herself for feeling like a giddy teenager, buying her boyfriend’s favorite things.

A couple dozen more items end up in the cart, but her mind is distracted, a thousand miles away where Adam is, visiting his sister’s family for a few days. She knows he’ll be back, logically, so it feels ridiculous to her how much she misses his scent, his voice, his smile....how much a cereal box in her hand makes her feel like he’s closer somehow.

Right now, in the middle of an empty supermarket, at two o’clock in the afternoon, this tough, badass, special operations sniper wants nothing more than to have her boyfriend home. How is she supposed to wait two more days?

“Sorry,” she mumbles to the polite old man she almost runs over moving towards the checkout line, and minutes later she’s on the road with a hodgepodge of groceries in the trunk.

The minute she walks through the garage door she knows he’s home.

“Adam?” Calling his name, she rounds the corner from the kitchen and finds him standing there, smiling at her.

“Surprise.”

Adam catches her easily when she rushes toward him and jumps, long smooth legs wrapping around his waist. Laughing as she peppers kisses all over his face, he turns and leans their entwined bodies against the nearest wall, savoring the feel of her pressed against him, in all the right places. God, he missed her so much, and he will tell her that and lots more, as soon as his brain can manage a coherent thought.

They make out like teenagers for a few minutes, soft noises, sighs and moans mixing together, amplifying the pleasure slowly building as their hands roam.

“I missed you,” he murmurs, and she smiles against his mouth. “I might leave more often though, if this is the reception I get.”

“Who says you’re ever leaving again?” Adam chuckles at that. Jaz looks him in the eye, a hand coming up to cup his cheek. “I’m serious. Not sharing you with the world. They can get their own Adam.”

The attempt at levity falls a bit flat. It’s not the words themselves, but what lurks beneath them that has Adam immediately shifting from amusement to mild concern.

“Hey. What’s wrong?”

That soft, intimate tone laces his voice, and Jaz is mildly afraid of the power it holds over her now. Closing her eyes with a shake of her head, she tries to refocus on the way his hard body is still pressing her against the wall. Rolling her hips against him, she moves to kiss him, but Adam is on alert now, and he’s not going to let this go. He shifts his his hips back slightly, and her legs drop to the floor. So, they’re doing this. Now.

“It’s nothing, really. I’m fine.” At his skeptical look she sighs. “It’s just…” Trailing off, she looks down for a second before ducking under his arm and moving towards the kitchen. Adam follows her, a few steps behind, giving her the space her body language is begging for.

Finding the right words proves harder than expected. The wave of frustration begins to rise within her, and having no clue where it even comes from makes it so much worse. The past three days replay in her mind. What is she suppose to say here? That she missed him? That she spent every waking minute daydreaming about his arms around her? That being away from him for three measly days almost drove her mad? That now that they’re here, officially together, she’s afraid she won’t ever survive without him? Isn’t it too soon for all of that?

They’ve grown as close as two people can be without actually being together these past five years, but in all that time, they’ve never done this. Talking openly about their feelings, giving voice to their fears, hopes, and expectations. Five days ago, she thought they were simply taking the next logical step. Giving in to the overwhelming need to explore their relationship - and each other- with nothing holding them back. Right now though, she wonders if they’re right back at square one.

“Talk to me.”

Jaz can’t help but turn towards him at that. She wants to tell him everything, so badly, if only to erase the worry etched on his face. But she’s never done this before….intimacy, opening up. Never cared enough to stick around and do this instead of run.

Even so, she knows none of her past experiences could ever compare to now. Because this is Adam, who is everything she never dreamed she’d find in a man. So, regardless of the past, she will do her best to muddle through this, for him. And it will be messy and uncomfortable, but there’s no other option in her mind. If things between them fail, it won’t be because she didn’t try. Those clear blue eyes she loves are growing more troubled now, and hating that her silence is the cause, she takes a deep breath and jumps in feet first.

“I think it’s just...everything.” She begins with a helpless shrug. “In the last five days, we came back from Turkey, debriefed at the DIA, talked about us- you and me, as a couple- then spent the best night ever together, like... I didn’t know that was even possible...and then you left and--”

Adam frowns at that. “We agreed. You said you were fi--”

“I know what I said, okay?”

The outburst takes them both by surprise, but Adam instantly takes a step closer, cupping her face in his hands before she can retreat. So much is swirling around them, a cloud of questions and future decisions and sensitive conversations about the past- which Xander would say they absolutely need to have. Adam knows they’ll need time to wade through it, and he wonders how much of what’s still to come is driving the frustration pouring out now. Still, amongst all the heavy thoughts floating in his mind, one stands out, and it surprises him that it’s not serious at all.

“The best night ever?” Adam asks, with raised eyebrows and lips curved in a teasing smile.

Jaz huffs out a surprised laugh. “Seriously? That’s what you got from all that?” she asks, and attempts unsuccessfully to squeeze out of his grasp.

Adam sobers, readjusts his strong but tender hold around her neck, thumbs stroking her cheeks. Opening his legs wide, he lowers so they’re at eye level now.

“Jaz, baby. Listen to me.” The pet name draws an almost imperceptible whimper from her, and she brings her hands up, wraps them around his wrists. “I know it’s a lot to take in...us. But I promise you, we’ll figure all this out. I’m not going anywhere. You’re stuck with me.”

The words sink in, and the raw, fearless emotion in his gaze catches her off guard. It’s too much, and she knows it’s a bit spineless to want to hide from it now, but she’ll implode if she doesn’t clear her head.

Reaching with her right hand, she runs her fingers over his beard, offering a smile that doesn’t entirely reach her eyes. He leans into her touch, wanting to draw her out, but she turns her body away from him toward the counter instead, one hand closing around the nearest grocery bag as the other drops away from his face.

Once again, Adam lets her go, watching as random food items emerge from the striped reusable totes.

“Well….that’s good to know,” she says, trying to sound nonchalant. “That you’re staying, I mean.” With her back to him, she holds up the cereal box for him to see. “Because, I’ve already bought this awful bird food you like. And those blueberry bagels, which are carb-loaded monstrosities really, and it’d be so rude of you to--”

Large, strong hands on her waist halt her nervous rambling, and when he folds his warm, solid body around her, the tension just oozes out of her with a long, deep exhale. Turning in his arms, she buries her face in his chest and just breathes him in.

Adam stands there, arms wrapped tightly around Jaz, and his mind flashes to the few seconds before, as he’d watched her stiff and shaking lightly, emptying out grocery bags. Her words about cereal and bagels flood his ears now- and the underlying fear in them, the possibility that he may not stick around- hits him like a sucker punch to the gut.

He’d gotten on that plane, because his nieces were waiting and Jaz had been adamant she’d meet them another time. Thinking it was her way of carving out “me” time for herself, he’d acquiesced. But as he’d stood hugging her goodbye outside the TSA line, nose buried in her apple-scented hair, he’d wanted nothing more than to haul her with him through security and never let her go.

With stark clarity, he can now feel this abyss between them, this notion of impermanence and ambiguity hovering around their relationship status, their future. He’d thought they’d have time for all that. His words as he’d explained his reasoning five days ago float through his mind...Jaz. We’re practically together, in every sense of the word…

Now though, he can see that statement wasn’t entirely true. By holding back those three words that mattered the most, he unknowingly allowed doubt to seep in through the cracks. Adam knows that nothing but brutal honesty will do now. It’s the one thing that has always worked to stop her from spiraling, so he decides that’s the way this will go. There is no room for more misunderstandings now. They’re not starting this journey on uneven emotional ground.

Jaz’s muffled voice interrupts his epiphany, and he rubs his cheek against her hair as he feels her mouth moving against his chest.

“I just missed you. It’s stupid. You were only gone three days, and I know we’ve only been--”

“I love you, Jaz.” The way she freezes against him tugs at his heart. After a second, she inches back, staring at her finger as it toys with a button on his checkered dress shirt. He watches as she takes a deep breath before her brown eyes drift up to his, shining with unshed tears.

“You do?” Uncertainty and hope mingle in her voice.

“Of course I--” Adam swallows, eyes closing against the flood of remorse.

“I’m such an idiot. I convinced you that we could do this, that the time was right for us... and then I….” Shaking his head, he brings his forehead down against hers with a regretful sigh. “I’m sorry. I love you, okay? I have loved you, for years. I’ll say it as many times as you want. Just, please, don’t cry.”

Unable to find her voice after that, she swallows and moves her head up and down in a nod. Adam opens his eyes in time to see her radiant smile, and can’t help kissing the now pinkish tip of her nose. When she blinks, and the tears finally fall, he wipes them away with his thumbs. He’s desperate now to make her understand, and the words just tumble out.

“I was waiting to tell you, when we had more time. I’ve been...planning it for a while.” That self-deprecating Adam smile, the one he reserves just for her, makes her chuckle through the tears. “I even asked my sister for advice. I was gonna take you out. Our official first date. That’s why I came back early, to surprise you and...God, it doesn’t even matter--”

“Adam.” Jaz’s voice is strong now, sure and steady, and he lets out the proverbial breath he’s been holding. Slowly, she fans her hands on his chest, tracing lazy patterns with her fingers and following them with her eyes.

“You know, our first night together?” She looks up through her lashes now. “It really was the best night ever.”

Adam grins, fast and bright. “Yeah?”

“Hell yeah.”

#The Brave #NBC The Brave #Jalton #Jaz x Adam #Adam x Jaz #First I Love You #Adam is a SAPPY SAP SAP #Jaz loses it over cereal #TheFab5

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raeofgayshine · 6 years

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I have so many Sanders Sides AU verses (including all those soulmate ones), but there’s two I haven’t posted anything for yet.

One of them has a name and it’s called the Worth The Risk Verse and I already have one story done, working on the second because I feel like it needs to be posted first (as the first one was just mostly a dumb joke) and it’s one of my favorite stories I’ve done, there’s some great Platonic Logince and Logan who is afraid of letting others in because he was hurt so badly and Roman who has been hurt over and over but keeps putting himself out there because he needs to believe it’ll be better and they’re like practically brothers even though they’re completely different, and the whole series is sort of like about the two of them learning that heartache is worth the risk sometimes, which is helped by Patton and Virgil, and also other things life throws at them and it all came from a single dream that I can’t even use half of because the line makes no sense in any real context but I still enjoy it because it gave me this (Like I literally woke up, wrote down the few lines I remember specifically, and then started jotting down information I knew about the verse that I did not consciously think of like it all just existed from that dream). And I don’t know all that much on what can exist inside the main timeline of the verse yet, I have a lot of stuff I want to write that’s just teenage Logince that comes before what I consider the main two stories, which is the one I’m writing now and then the one that will follow it, but nothing so far that comes after (Although I might get inspiration who knows). I really love the verse though, and I love the relationship Logan and Roman have in it, and the things they’ve gotten up to together. Also three out of the four are nonbinary and Logan is trans. Patton is genderfluid and uses shifting pronouns, Virgil is a demiboy and uses he/him, and Ro is just nonbinary and uses they/them. So that’s a fun aspect to write as well.

The second AU I’m working on has a name TBD, but right now I just have it saved as the Orphans AU because, well three of the boys are orphans and Virgil’s parents are just dicks but close enough (Also featuring Foster Dad and eventual Adoptive Dad, Thomas). I mostly only have the background worked out so far for this one, but I do roughly know what I want the first story to be (the main, multi chaptered one). But I do have the characters worked out and I love each of the boys so much.

Like there’s fucking bamf Mom friend Logan who’s the oldest at 12, is trans (because that’s my favorite thing and you can fight me), and has been in the system his whole life. He’s a fucking genius, only cares about the rules that actually make sense to him, will do literally anything to protect his family, and at any given point has about 17 escape plans in case something goes wrong, never afraid to speak his mind especially in defense of his boys, and loves them all to pieces. He spent weeks teaching himself and the others sign language after Virgil showed up

Then there’s Patton who has been in the system since he was a few months old, met Logan when he was like two and immediately got attached (the two are literally almost never apart and most people assume they’re twins), resident Dad friend Patton wants to make everyone feel safe and at home, has a heart too big for this world, loves everyone but is especially protective over his famILY and is willing to fight for them at any given moment. Taught himself to bake with Logan’s help to make it easier for Roman to adjust, but cannot cook to save his life. Patton almost always has a bright smile and a positive attitude that balances Logan’s more realistic nature. Pat is also always ready to cause trouble when necessary.

Roman is the baby and also maybe my favorite, he’s 7, he’s overly dramatic, constantly has his head in the clouds but a lot of that is just because of how he copes. He was raised for five years by a single Mom who was abandoned by everyone for getting pregnant as a teen but worked her ass off to give Ro a decent life and she always took everything that came with a smile, looked on the bright side, and Roman tries to do that for the others now that she’s gone. He’s also deeply afraid of the others “leaving” him like his mom did, which sometimes leads to him being really clingy, but the others rarely mind. Roman likes to play the part of the protector even though he’s the youngest, he dreams of being able to defend others the way Lo and Pat do, which is probably what leads to him bonding with Virgil so much. Patton reminds Roman a lot of his mother, which most of the time Roman loves (although he never talks about his mom much). When he has dreams about her or just starts missing her a lot he usually goes to Logan though (Which may or may not have something to do with the first time they really bonded when Logan found Roman alone crying and held him for hours despite the fact that up until then they had only ever argued).

Virgil is 8, he’s also the newest to the famILY as he only came to the group home after his parents were arrested for drug use. He was only supposed to be there temporarily (and like initially was) until his parents were like proven fit to take him back, but after they do Virgil tries to run off and long story short they’re arrested for child abuse and Virgil is removed from them for good. Virgil suffers from bad anxiety, doesn’t trust people a lot, he also doesn’t talk unless he really really trusts someone (which is why the boys learn sign language to communicate with him easier). It wasn’t easy for the others to get close to V because he was terrified of everything when he first arrived, but slowly they make little steps of progress until Virgil is deeply attached to them all. All three of the others are super protective over him, even Ro, which Virgil finds equal parts confusing and unnecessary but he loves it for the most part. He’s the closest to Patton but he really does love the whole trio, they were his first famILY and they’re like his security blanket. Once he gets comfortable with them Virgil also becomes like surprisingly affectionate, not always in the super obvious ways that Roman is, but given the chance he does like to spend most of his time in some sort of physical contact with the others even if it’s just like sitting close to each other, it helps keep him grounded and feel safe. He also wears an oversized hoodie because it provides a similar comfort of safety.

And they’re all such a cohesive famILY, they’re siblings in every way but blood and the thought of being separated is something they’re so against that Logan has a large number of plans for running away just in case they do try to separate them, Patton is briefed on all of them just in case. Pat and Lo really do look at Virgil and Roman as if they’re their responsibility, especially Logan, to the point where Logan never exactly got to act like a kid because when they were younger he had to take care of Patton and now Virgil and Roman, so when Thomas eventually takes them in one of the things he has to do is teach Logan that he doesn’t have to be an adult anymore which is really hard but so worth it in the end to see Lo light up like a kid on Christmas when they go to the planetarium and Logan lets himself for once not worry if Roman was bored or if Virgil was scared or if Patton was still there and instead just focuses on his own wonder and excitement and childish joy.

And anyways it’s basically just an AU about four boys who had made a famILY and put their defenses up to the outside world learning to trust again and open up and be the kids they were and live without the fears that normally plagued them like other kids did, but they’ll always be closer than normal siblings and especially Patton and Logan who were basically raised together will always rely on each other more than normal but over time they learn they can trust others too and that’s important.

So yeah I’m really in love with my two newest Aus and I can’t wait to share them once the stories are done. Stuff from Worth The Risk should be coming pretty soon but the orphan verse is probably going to have to wait a little bit at least until I finish a few other things I’ve left open

#ravenpuff rambles #ravenpuff writes #Worth The Risk Verse

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