#I’ve literally wanted to play this song on guitar for sooo long

[macbethz]

I want to have sloppy gay sex w this song

[pick-me-up-im-scared]

Get To Know Me(-ish)

I was thinking I could answer some typical “get to know me” questions, if anyone’s interested in reading them. If not, I’ve just done it for myself, I guess. Anyway, I’ve found these on Google. Let me know if there’s someone to credit! (prepare for me babbling on about completely useless stuff)

What's your name? Julianna (but I´m open for any nicknames, especially "my little ps5 cooling fan")

How old are you? I turned 23 this year. Yep, I´m having an internal crisis

What's your sexuality? I will say bisexual for now. But there´s a VERY high chance I'll change it to 100% lesbian. Like, right know girls are the only thing that interests me.

What I love the most about myself? I´m very kind and loyal. It could be seen as something bad, ik. But I´m trying to not let people use it against me. I also believe I'm a good listener, which is somethings I'm proud about. I'd also like to think I could make a boring task funny, like grocery shopping or doing the dishes.

What I dislike the most about myself? I have a pretty bad temper, I blame it on my dad. If I'm pissed, don´t even bother trying to calm me down. Just give me a few minutes to myself and I'll be back. But that leads me into the next thing I hate about myself, I hold onto things for waaaay to long. If someone did something bad 5 years ago you better believe I still think about it. I´m also stubborn and think about other people´s opinion SOMETIMES, but let's not focus on that. I like to believe I just need to find "the right person" to pull me out of that mindset...

What are your favorite movies? This is suuuuuch a hard fucking hard questions for someone who enjoys movies like I do. And I’m not saying it in a “I like to watch movies like every other fucking person on this planet”, I mean I’m like sooo invested you wouldn’t even want to go see a movie with me. There’s no such thing as talking while the movie is playing. I even pay attention to the small things the actors do to make their role more “truthful”………yeah, I’m a maniac.

Anyways, I won’t even try to list all the movies I like or else we’d be here for YEARS! But two movies I can rewatch the second the credits starts to roll is either Once Upon A Time In Hollywood or The Dark Knight. But I also enjoy kids movies a little than I should…….but that’s a whole other story.

What's your favorite song? If the previous question was hard, then this is on fucking Viagra. I listen to sooo much music with such a variety. Like I listen to every genre there is! But I’ll give you three songs I haven’t grown tired of yet, even though I have them on repeat 24/7:

José Feliciano - California Dreaming

The Strokes - Repitila

Justin Bieber - Hard To Face Reality

What are your hobbies? I´m trying to make myself busy with literally anything. I can't stand the thought of not being productive (doesn't stop me from laying in bed, watching youtube for hours!). So basically anything productive. Drawing, some sculpturing (nothing professional, calm down), very rarely write (obviously, I haven´t been updating this blog for like ages!). Recently I've been trying to learn how to play the piano AND electric guitar (ik, you can give me your number after the show).

Do you plan your outfits? Yeah, way more than I think anyone who sees me thinks. Idk how many nights I've spent, planning out in my head the outfit for the next day. Even if you see me wearing sweatpants and an oversized t-shirt you better believe that t-shirt wasn't the first one I tried on. Even if I´m going to the fucking hospital I can´t wear socks that doesn't match with the rest of the outfit...

The meaning behind my username? Tbh, I just started thinking of random stuff, like "sayings" that doesn't sound too...cringe? Then the Patrick meme of him in a knitted sweater with the writing "Mom, can you pick me up? I´m scared" (or something like that) popped into my head. I rephrased it a little before checked if it was taken, and it wasn't.

Any addition? Vanilla Coke or/and Dr Pepper (apart from my huge cocaine addiction), like I´m obsessed. Ik it sounds sooo dramatic, but if I had a no limit access to either of those sodas I'd die of diabetes in a week. If you want to get in my pants, just buy me a can and I'll get on my knees and propose to you.

Turn ons? I could say something like "eyes" and "hands", but I'll say some features I don´t think are AS common, but I go craaazy for. One of them would be scars. I can't explain to you how fucking kneebendingly HOT I think scars are. Idc if it's from acne, self harm or an actual injury. It's. So. Fucking. Attractive! People who's self contious about their scars, hit me up!

Second thing I find really attractive is backs, idk why but I just find them so ecstatically pleasing especially filled with scratches of my nails.

Turn offs? People who's playing hard to get or think they're hot shit! I've spend too much of my teenage years chasing those type of assholes. And people who think people like that, wtf is wrong with you? I'd have a nerdy sweetheart everyday of the week! These fuckboy-type of behavior needs to be stopped, istg. If you like me, tell me that! (also, I need that clarification every now and then, otherwise I'll think you despise me...)

What skill would you most like to learn? To be able to comprehend any social situations without wanting to blow my brains out. I´m the worse when it comes to socializing, like overall. Doesn't matter if it's my relatives or complete strangers, I'll dig my nails so hard into palms inside my pockets. People who can start having a random discussion with someone on the streets, or blend in with their partner´s family first time they meet them PURLEY amaze me. I wanna be like them sooo bad.

Favorite ice cream flavor? I will say just plain vanilla, CAUSE if a brand is good the flavoring doesn't need to be so complicated (to slap). The brands who has these crazy flavor combinations are usually doing it to try and conceal their shitty ice cream *cough* Ben & Jerry *cough*. But if I wouldn't choose that I'd probably be something super childish, like "rainbow bubblegum cotton candy confetti".

Dogs or cats? I know the lesbian community will throw me out, but I 100% choose dogs. Idc what you say, cats are satans creation!

Favorite quote? "When you're having a bad day, don´t forget you're ugly too"

Favorite sport? I´m not really into sports. I was never an athletic kid. But whenever there´s pingpong on tv, I'm in a trance. Like I'll spend HOURS watching that shit without even knowing the rules.

[asherasgayagenda]

ik you're sleeping but i wanna talk about my fav enstars songs unit wise cus I love talking about songs

fine: The Tempest Night (very original i know /s) and Neo Sanctuary

Trickstar: UNSTOPPABLE LOVE!!!! IT MAKES ME SO HAPPY THE RAP IS SO GOOD!!!

Ryuseitai: their music is not my style. but Ryusei Hanabi. so so feel good

ALKALOID: VERMILION. you get it.

Eden: how do i choose,,,,,it may not look like it but Eden's music is the one i dig the most i love LOVE EDM,,,,,sigh. Eden's Psyche Butterfly.

Valkyrie: URUWASHI NO AA NIGHTINGALE AA NIGHTINGALE SONO UTAGOE DE,,,,,Eternal Weaving close second

2wink: SWEE2WINK LOVE LETTER SWEEP

Crazy:B: Honeycomb Summer,,,, even though all of their songs are bops

UNDEAD: both Nightless World and FORBIDDEN RAIN. but like. in different ways. to me Nightless World is Fireboy and FORBIDDEN RAIN is Watergirl (both gender neutral). do you get it

Ra*bits: sorry Ra*bitsP I don't vibe w their music at all. FALLIN' LOVE=IT'S WONDERLAND

Akatsuki: earlier i liked Kengeki no Mae before i got to know of the imperialism,,,,so Akatsuki Iroha Uta it is

Knights: sorry they aren't my type as well,,,,Mystic Fragrance or Knights the Phantom Thief

Switch: Romancing Cruise or Omoi no Kakera. their music is so *chef's kiss*

MaM: HELLO, NEW YEAR!

Double Face: =EYE=

Shuffle Units: MOONLIGHT DISCO. IT CHANGED ME AS A PERSON

Fusion Units: YORU NI KAKERU!!! closely followed by Artistic Partisan <333

this turned out too long LMAO im sorry

THE THING IS i don’t want to rank my favorites by unit because i’m literally biased and half of my favorites are just crazyb songs and like. none of them are akatsuki for ex.

anyways you don’t mind if I judge your taste!! right (it gets suuuuuper long)

fine: yeah no you’re totally right!! I respect you. I went and listened to the first few seconds of neo sanctuary and I feel like it’s a song I could definitely like?? pending judgement. I’ve got owaranai symphonia stuck in my head recently though,,,

Trickstar: …what song is that? (< clearly not a TrickstarP) I only know I really like rebellion star and I looove playing the beatmap of infinite star

Ryusetai: girl I know like One (1) song of their by name and it’s like comet HALATION or something and the only reason I know it is because of the last event

ALKALOID: HELL YEAH VERMILLION!!!!!!!!!!! but let me add kiss of life because it was like the first alkaloid song I listened to and I was like HOLYFUCKINGSHIT THIS SONG BANGS!!!!! set off my era of learning abt alkaloid and the main story. (living on the edge gets a mention as the honorary aira center song)

Eden: hey EDM and eden sound kinda similar dontcha thi(gets shot) ANYWAYS. I keep hearing about psyches butterfly but I’ve NEVER LISTENED TO IT !!!?!! sorry i’m basic but , THE GENESIS SWEEP !!!! don’t ask me how I remember but that song was the FIRST beatmap I played on eng.

Valkyrie: HEY ETERNAL WEAVING LIKER!!! I loove the little talking parts in it and the spam of notes at the start. also acanthe has my heart

2wink: LITERALLY THIS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! but i’m a liiittle biased towards play tag cause I keep pfcing it and also LEMON SQUASH CHEERS (bc crazyb!!)

Crazy:B: THEIR SONGS NEVER MISSS LETS GOOOO HONEYCOMB SUMMER HELTER SPIDER ARIADNE NOISY BEEP RISKY PENIS ETC ETC EYC

UNDEAD: PERSONALLY i’m in love with valentine eves nightmare cause it was the first undead song that made me like them (THE GUITAR SOLO!!!!! DO YOU HEAR IT))x nightless world is fun to play but a not really my thing.., I hear forbidden rain is really good though.

Ra*bits: pocket ni uchuu. that is all. WAIT NO SHIT UR RIGHT. FALLIN' LOVE=IT'S WONDERLAND IS ALSO SOOO GOOD.

Akatsuki: you are speaking a Different language and I have no idea which akatsuki song is which. help. sorry tbh they all sound the same to me.

Knights: OKAY phantom thief isn’t too bad!! IT SHOULDVE WON THE POLL BTW im partial to silent oath cause its my event grinding song b I don’t actually like it that much. HAVE U HEARD PROMISE SWORDS THOUGH AAUUGUGHHHHHHH I DONT KNOW WHAT IT IS ABOUT IT THAT MAKES ME GO DHJFKGNGKFFNFJ (aaand. grateful allegiance it’s the one ingame song I like rn)

Switch: SHUT UUPPPP OMOI NO KAKERA IS NOT EVEN THAT GOOD /lh . I Like switch a lot but also their music AND THE FUCKING DANCING is BYE. the ONLY one I like is Magic for your switch. natsume’s “shunte utsumuiteru my girl” HAS BEEN PLAYING ON LOOP IN MY HEAD THE WHOLE DAY HELP

MaM: Nods. but I mean,,,, as a solo unit his solo song should count too right???? so I’d have to say see you again is my favorite, sorry

Double Face: YEAHHHH THE VOCALS THE STAGE THE OUTFITS THE DANCING EVERYTHING IS CHEFS KISS !!!!! Stippling has my heart though <333 (god. the piano)

Shuffle Units: NEVER SHUTTING UP ABT MY ATOZ AGENDA!!!! I don’t get what’s so good about moonlight disco help. (also i’m gay so noir neige)

Fusion Units: YES.

HAHAHHA IMAGINE. MY RESPONSE BEING LONGER THAN YOURS. ok thank u this was super fun to read and reply too!! even if it took like three days. oops. anyways

[forlix]

(it’s ya boi, 🪷 anon)

oh my gosh, don’t be sorry!! no worries at all 🫶🏻 I’m so happy you liked my interpretation ;w; I loved the fic so much!!

oh, don’t worry, I have so many thoughts! I just felt like my last ask was already too long as is, but I did listen to the playlist you curated! so, here goes: ofc ‘stay’ is such a strong choice, like it’s canon as a skz anthem at this point. but the cover version you chose was such a great way of incorporating the song while keeping the tone you set for ‘empty my mind’. I also feel like if jisung was going to do an official cover of ‘stay’ it would sound a lot like this? with him playing guitar and it being a lot softer than the original version. and the lyrics suit the story and relationship between jisung and the mc sooo well 💖

‘all of me’ is such a good listen for that first meeting/party scene? perfectly encapsulates the excitement and vulnerability that jisung and reader have for each other. ‘babydoll’ is soo perfect too, because jisung is so babydoll-coded (c’mon) but also it covers the desperation he has to mean something to reader. but also he’s nonchalant about it, he can’t say that he cares so we’re back to that ‘do whatever to me’ phase again. I’ve actually never listened to exo before, but ‘oasis’ was such a good pick?? sensual but also vulnerable, I like it. and ‘volcano’; if you told me this fic was entirely inspired by ‘volcano’, I would believe you. such a perfect choice too because you are quite literally taking han’s real lyrics and feelings and then developing them into an emotional fictional piece. yeah, what else can I say? it’s perfect 🤭

okay, so the first song I thought of after reading ‘empty my mind’ was gregory and the hawk’s ‘boats and birds’. a really sweet song that shows the insecurity of being in a relationship with someone who you think has more potential than you/will leave you, but also could represent someone (maybe mc??) seeing the potential that their loved one doesn’t see in themselves. in the same vein, ‘heart like yours’ by willamette stone is very representative of jisung and mc’s relationship. maybe the verses are reader reassuring jisung and the chorus is his reaction like ‘what did I do to deserve you? I can’t believe you make me feel so deserving’. and the bridge is a mix of both of them reassuring each other, like ‘don’t worry, I’m here, you can do this’ and the response is ‘I know you’re here, it’s always been because of you’.

I’m a slut for hozier so I HAVE to recommend one of his songs: ‘I, Carrion (Icarian)’ is inspired by the fall of Icarus, and one of my favourite songs. and I just think it represents that hopeless devotion trope that I adore so much, so of course it represents jisung in this fic really well too, lol. and taylor swift has so many songs so of course I can find a couple that apply to this fic too; ‘mirrorball’ is the anthem for people pleasing, emotionally distraught, desperate for attention girlies. han in this fic is girlies, he needs validation from mc and this is his song. and ‘forever winter’ is reader fully realizing his mental health struggles and being his support. now this song was written about losing someone to depression, but I think the intention to want to be there no matter what is synonymous in both the song and your fic. and the song has winter (snow) symbolism, and language about staying or going which is very literal for the fic. and ‘winter’ will stay if mc goes, or vice versa. AND THE LAST LINE OF THIS SONG?? suits the fic so well, imo.

and oh yeah, I very much agree that ‘fixed’ is a very delicate word to be using around mental health. and I’m glad that you understood that I don’t think mc ‘fixed’ or ‘cured’ jisung in any way. I really hate the trope that someone’s mental illness is magically cured when they fall in love, and I’m glad that you didn’t do it in this fic. because yeah, they are perfect for each other and there isn’t anything to fix. mc is just a new part of jisung’s support system that is going to help him endure his struggles. she’s joining him on this journey to heal and learn self love again.

oh yeah!! kisses are so okay uwu and omg your fic was such a treat to analyze. I don’t get to do this as often anymore, but I graduated uni with a bachelor of arts with english honours so I used to analyze lit CONSTANTLY. and I love it sm, I love just discussing interpretations. and I loved this fic so much. I find when I write fics, because I’ve gone through so much formal writing and academic lit, that I’m really lazy with it?? like, I lose interest in my plots very easily and I mainly just write a lot of mindless smut with some nonsense happening around it. and that’s fun for me, because I have a job where I have to think and articulate my thoughts a lot, so I don’t want to put in the effort. like, stupid porn is my escape lol

but, I really admire your writing. and no, not every fic has to be a masterpiece, but I can tell how much care and effort you put into ‘empty my mind’ and it really paid off. I saw someone mention that they would pay for your writing and I completely agree. writing is definitely a skill that can be honed, but it’s also a talent and it’s one that you have. so yeah, I loved reading your fic and it was so so so so so good 🥰

I’ll def reach out sometime soon but I’m also very anxiousss lol I overthink like everything a lot, so I like the anon because I feel like it’s really easy to run away if I embarrass myself 🤪 but yeah, I’m so glad I got to share my thoughts with you and I’m excited to read more of your works!! 🫶🏻 take care, buh-byyye!

🪷 anon. holy fucking shit. suddenly my birthday is january 13th i'm SCREAMING. thank you SO much for taking the time to write me another essay. you are getting one in return again because i simply refuse to be outdone!!! including under the cut so i can ramble to my heart's delight <3

so funny thing about the song "stay" is that it quite literally served as the wellsprings for the whole fic, but specifically this short of justin bieber singing it live while wasted out of his mind. something about his tone here... it's so raw and anguished and tender all at once, and it fueled me to write like nothing had in a long time. i agree, i loved jonah baker's version with its soft acoustics and amazing vocals, but this short was where it all began. thought u would enjoy that tidbit c:

and WAHH THANK YOUUUU for all the other reviews on the songs in the playlist, i said this last time but i think you might be in my mind bc yes yes and yes to everything you said. 'all of me' was the song i had on REPEAT during the first meeting. it just has that like intensity and adventurousness to it, yaknow, and a hint of sensuality too. 'babydoll' and 'oasis' were sex songs. no delicate way to say that. those were the songs i had blaring in my brain while Penetration Was Occurring.

and 'volcano,' of COURSE, 'volcano' my baby girl my everything my roman empire. this was the song i had on repeat during the final scene when he opens up to her. i literally sent sahar a screenshot of my google chrome window and it was just "han jisung volcano 3 hr. version" and an accompanying message that said "save me" 😭😭😭 THE FIC WAS HARD THAT SCENE WAS HARD i was going through it fr but this song got me through it. i doubt i'll ever be able to write for jisung without thinking about 'volcano' and its incredible lyrics, like those lyrics genuinely changed my life and the way i think about love as a whole, i'm so grateful to him and his mind

NOW ONTO YOUR ADDITIONAL RECS. I AM SOOOOO AHHHHHHHHH JUST ABSOLUTELY AHHHHHHHHHHH WOW. firstly i added every song you recommended into the 'empty my mind' playlist like. our minds have coalesced 🤞 secondly here's a list of my reactions to each song because i am just i'm feeling so overwhelmed by your stellar music taste and you need to know my every thought

boats and birds is INSANE, ABSOLUTELY INSANE, are you fucking kidding me? the singer's voice is stunning, so gentle and lovely and delicate, and the lyrics are so so jisung and mc coded i couldn't breathe while reading them. the similarities are fucking uncanny: the mentions of leaving stardust behind, of coming out at night to show off your light? the promise of living to make you free, to let you shine? reassurance that it's okay if you want to leave, as long as you leave behind something to remember you by? only the last scene in "empty my mind" was told from mc's perspective, but this song feels like it makes up for the lack of her voice throughout the fic; it's her, it's perfect, it's them, it's everything. i wanna die, you are brilliant

about heart like yours, i had the same thought as you, it sounded to me like there were two different voices at play in the lyrics: the verses being so certain and steadfast and the choruses being so careful and confused but hopeful all at once. ouch. once again, painfully jisung and mc coded. the "how could a heart like yours ever love a heart like mine?" line hit especially hard. i like to think ji asks her this question, not because he genuinely can't understand why, but because he's still wrapping his head around it and he just feels so lucky and so happy :') ah my babies

i, carrion is wow. wow. i need to come back to u to extract more hozier recommendations from you because i have always admired this man and his songwriting abilities so, so much but i've never gotten into his discography the way i want to. this song was absolutely unreal, god, when the chorus hits and the harmonies arrive i legit teared up. i've always been so powerfully affected by music and i don't even have the words to describe what came over me. you're so right, what a fantastical, reverent kind of love, and expressed in such prosaic, poetic words too. i felt breathless again listening to these lines in particular: "Once I had wondered what was holding up the ground / But I can see that all along, love, it was you all the way down." i don't feel deserving of my fic being associated with this degree of beauty at all. i love you and this track so much 😞

mirrorball and forever winter were both so so lovely too; i thought the people-pleasing motifs in the former were v interesting. i would wager that they more accurately describe ji in the past, as the version of him in the events of 'empty my mind' is too Tired with a capital T to try to win people over anymore. but 'forever winter' is so nice, i enjoyed how the music swelled and how much of the vocals were belted, all the emotion and power was palpable. and the last line ahhhhh

and thank you for your acknowledgement on the word "fixed" being used in discussions about mental health. i agree, and i love your interpretation of their relationship so much. she's not overriding his support system or introducing a new one, just becoming a part of it

also oh my god not you having an english B.A. i'm fangirling over you!!!! like three of my closest friends are english majors and i love love love talking to them about my interests because they're so incredibly insightful and intelligent and i get those exact vibes from you too. (i started out as an english major as well before switching to international relations. i had a Terrible poetry professor and i got the academic ick so fast) also no way are you also a stayblr writer hello!!!! that's so fair about the mindless smut, we all need an outlet like that in some shape or form, and all that matters is that you're having fun with it <3 i would love for u to show me ur writing if/when u become comfy enough to reveal to me your account (ZERO PRESSURE AT ALL MY BABY)! i'm sure your works are just as wonderful as your analyses of mine have been

and "writing is definitely a skill that can be honed, but it’s also a talent and it’s one that you have" 😭😭😭😭😭 lotus anon, i am actually about to explode. this ask had me feeling everything on the spectrum and currently it's just aggressive gratitude. i've talked ab my relationship w creative writing on here before and it's been difficult, regulating my expectations and my emotions and sharing my work in public again especially when i care so much about the things i write nowadays. but words like these make me glad i came back and hope that i never leave.

and again, please do not fret about reaching out if you're not comfortable, i have anxiety too and i understand you through and through. the only shortcoming i can think of regarding you continuing to send me asks is that i tend to respond to things late because i get overwhelmed by social media easily, but you've been so patient with me thus far, and if you'll be able to continue doing so then we can absolutely continue this system, my love ♡

thank you. i adore you. i'm thinking about you

[titan-god-helios]

part two y’all <33

spending like a bajillion hours in the bathroom getting ready and showering and brushing my teeth and goofing off in the mirror. honestly thought i’d feel way more feminine and dysphoric if i did this but taking care of myself and having my own space to just exist for a while without having to mask or pretend to be cishet

staying up late at night and talking to my friend or being on pinterest or tumblr

silent screaming !! for no reason or for every reason, it just feels good and cathartic and is a boy activity for me personally

being my gay little self and getting sososo hyped about a cute boy or girl or person (when i see a cute boy i feel most masc tho bc i’m like “omg mlm im a real boy hes so cute”)

just decorating my room however the fuck i want and making my space littered with traces of me and what i like and what i am

plastering references to things i love literally wherever the fuck i can. its just really fun and finding places to sneak stuff you like everywhere just makes me feel like a silly happy dude

working on myself. i ask for help whenever i need it, and i’ve come a long way from before, but when it comes to stuff that doesn’t make me feel as if i would be better off sharing with someone, i find it much easier, much more effective and much less stressful to work things through on my own and sort my thoughts out and research. being autistic and possibly having alexithymia as well, i’ve always struggled with communication and whilst venting helps once in a blue moon, most times it just makes me feel stupid because I can’t communicate what i feel properly because even i don’t know when it comes down to it. so being able to solve it or figure it out in my own time on my own makes me feel much more capable and secure in myself, and i feel more manly ! asking for help when i need it also makes me feel manly coincidentally sooo ye <333

being hyperfeminine just because i can and on my own terms. like a lot of masc trans boys//people, my whole childhood and even life now is spent being told “you’re too masculine, are you a boy ?” “that’s not ladylike at all” and stuff like that. personally, i love feminine stuff !! i love the colour pink and frills and sparkles and dresses. but i simply find myself unable to enjoy it because im closeted and because of my dysphoria. on very low dysphoria days though, sometimes i love to dress up all pretty and feminine simply because i’m a boy and i’m only going to be feminine if i want to and being feminine does not invalidate my gender in any way

journalling and otherwise just being my introspective self

reading a lot !! i feel like the boy chronically living in the university library with a thousand books surrounding him that he already read and i love it

playing rpgs like genshin and also old timey feeling pixel games like celeste and old mario bros games and undertale and pac man, as well as games like hollow knight and cult of the lamb

arcades !!

taking pictures of anything and everything i find cool when out on a walk or at a shop or out with friends or even just doing mundane shit outside like food shopping

making picrew characters of myself now and what i hope to look like when i transition

reading comics and webtoons

playing my guitar and writing my songs and just messing around with no pressure on my instrument

cooking and baking !! it’s already my favourite thing ever to do i love it sososososoo fucking much and i always have and after i came out to myself it had the added joy of making me feel like those boys in uni who cook for the homies and cooks for himself and tries out new recipies when he’s not studying - it’s just me and it makes me feel myself and therefore it is masculine to me and that makes me feel good <3

calling people darling, sweetie, honey

treating myself like the prince i am !! like fuck yeah gimme the fluffy blanket i’m a prince i deserve it. just romanticising myself as all boys should be able to do <33

fun socks !! i feel so masculine if i have on a pair of fun socks and i have no idea why i just do

dogsdogsdogsdogsdogsdogs all sizes shapes breeds just dogs in general

cats too

and snakes

ykw all animals apart from insects but they aren’t animals anyway so

YEAHHH I’M THE ANIMAL KINGGG THE KING OF THE JUNGLEEEEEE

trying to look at my period under the light of “i’m bleeding and in pain and i’m still truckin, a lot of cis guys can’t even do that so i’m manly as fuck !! and one day this will stop and i’ll feel right and not dysphoric about the arrival of aunt flo, but for now i’m still manly even with my period !! even more so !! you’re a dude !!!”

using backpacks and only backpacks

flexing my hands and just looking at the way they work and the muscles contract (my hands aren’t stereotypically masc in the slightest but it just makes me feel like a man when i study things very closely and it makes me happy in a quiet way so <3)

working on raising my spice tolerance as much as i can

making promises to myself and trying to keep them, for example since i was little i vowed never in my life to ever drink coffee consistently, only once here and there when out with my coffee drinking friends or when i simply felt like it, but never as a routinely thing and so far i’ve kept that promise !

egg fried rice

lobster

fish

the sea !! i’ve always loved the sea it’s my fuckin element dude i grew up with the sea and it makes me feel sososo manly i feel like percy jackson after i’m in the sea. i dive into the sea and swim sososo far away from shore and i feel so calm and just manly

learning new things !

dark chocolate. just yes

watching voice transformation videos !! i love watching those update compilations where it’s like “hi, i’m (insert name) and this is my voice pre-t <3” to “hi, i’m (insert name) and this is my voice six months on t <3” AND ITS SO COOL because pre-t they sound like me and it gives me hope it gives me so much hope that one day i’ll wake up and i won’t have to suddenly stop myself because i’ve realised that i got too happy and my voice raised ten thousand octaves

nimona. its the best. go fucking watch nimona right now you twink.

walking around barefoot on warm stone or hot sand and not being fazed and enjoying the sensation

acting like a celebrity in an interview in my bathroom and having my own talk show

kirishima eijiro from my hero academia. he is trans and so manly so fucking manly and so happy but human and he is so just MM i love him prove me fucking wrong (you can’t there’s no way in hell that mf ain’t trans)

playing rounders. there’s just something about holding a bat and having perfect poise and swinging and hitting the ball perfectly so perfectly it soars over a literal field and seeing all the fielders have to fucking sprint to even have a chance of getting you out and being able to score a rounder so flawlessly. and also the times when everything goes wrong and the bat barely touches the ball and someone catches it and you’re out but you still goddamn tried. and being the head fielder, yelling out directions and having them be trusted without question and having the team come together perfectly because you listen to them and they listen to you and fucking smashing the other team to bits because you worked together that well. it’s just beautiful alr

oranges and the colour orange

claiming both sides of my ethnicity !! being proud of where i come from and being both greek and bengali !!

flowers <333

tea too !!

feeling my adam’s apple (even tho it’s small ofc bc afab)

pt1 of oddly specific things that give me gender affirmation/euphoria (that may not be that odd but i didn’t expect them so shut up <3 /lh):

wallets !!!! a good stereotypically masculine wallet that’s small and leather and still has lots and lots of usability and looks like something a dad would use makes me feel so masculine !! love it

any type of trouser or bottoms with more than two pockets

windbreaker jackets - they make me go “FUCK YEEAAHH im such a boy a man a male tm yessir” and idk why they just do tho, even the fem ones to an extent

plantssss i love plants and they make me feel like a little gardner boy just yessss

energy drinks for some reason ???? they make the internal man dialogue of “IM A MANNN” go haywire so much

hairbands on my wrist and an excess of those wooden beaded bracelets or even stone beaded jewellery

cross earrings but just bc they look cool (i’m an atheist so yuh, i still love people who have religion too, y’all are awesome <3)

doing the thing with your hair where you take hair from one side and flip it on the other with one hand and its kind of like running your hand through your hair but with long hair…. esp of my other hand is on my hip and i scrunch my face ?!?!?!??!? so boyish i feel so good

dancing like an absolute idiot. i dont know why but every time i just do a little jig for myself by myself my gender is just like “yessssss you’re a boy frfr slay king”

watches !! big chunky analogue watches

following on from the last point, clocks too

mushroomsssss they make the more nonbinary side of me jump for joy cause like “yes ofc im a fucking forest goblin dude i love mushrooms im just a goblin guy leave me alone and let me love the shrooms”

sketching in public. it just doessss

camoflague clothing !! i mean this was probably obvious but when i came out to myself and i wore camo cargo pants (with loads of pockets mind you) i just freaked out in joy i felt so manly that day it was glorious

singing !! singing my favourite songs as low as i can go with it still sounding good

just being as stubborn as possible but in a non problematic (for the most part) way. like if you give me the option to make things easier and more convenient or not i’ll choose the harder option. idk it just makes me feel manly (is this toxic masculinity ?? i dont know but i try to remind myself that this only applies to non mental stuff so i don’t end up self-harming againnnn)

being unnecessarily overdressed

not brushing my hair till its perfectly untangled and just letting it be a bit wild - this came with me figuring out that my hair type is waywayway wavier/curlier than i thought my whole life and learning to take care of it the best i can whilst i have like zero products for waves/curls on hand and as a bonus i felt more masc !!

looking at the stretch marks underneath my boobs in the mirror. i have a large-ish chest i think (DD cup), plus i’m a lil chubby, so i have loads of stretch marks around my chest, and the ones underneath look like top surgery scars, so if i’m having a particularly rough day with my chest dysphoria i’ll look at em and feel a bit better

using my stim toys and accommodations with friends and by myself for my autism and adhd - being capable of taking care of myself finally makes me feel really confident and as a result quite masc as well

stimming by flipping my beaded bracelets between my fingers - this is specific to greek and possibly other cultures similar to greece but it’s typical for a lot of greek men to flip long-ish beaded loops (?? they’re not jewellery and specifically made for this but idk what they’re called so) between their fingers in a similar fashion, and it’s a thing that my dad does a lot when bored. whether neurodivergent or neurotypical it’s a very common thing for men and so doing it makes me not only feel good stimming but also feel manly as fuck ! it feels even better now that my mum saw me doing it once and said “what are you a man ??” and being closeted i had to say “idc im just flipping a bracelet why does it have to be gendered” BUT INSIDE I WAS SO HAPPY

playing card games - when i was younger and even now my dad and grandpa would let me sit in on their card games late at night when we visited them in greece and now when i play card games i always feel so calm and comforted and quietly masculine

drinkingggg now hear me out yes im a minor but i’m also half greek so as a result whenever my parents drink im allowed a bit too (under supervision ofc). anyway that out the way, i have a pretty fucking high alcohol tolerance and considering the fact that it comes from my dad (being asian, my mum’s tolerance is dogshit) plus the stereotypical “men can drink more” stuff i feel SO MANLYYYY when i can quite literally drink more than my dad and feel okay whilst he’s starting to be tipsy (just to clarify though, the stereotype is bullshit and should NOT be perpetuated as much as it is, at least with intent. you guys with low alcohol tolerances are just as manly !! maybe you’re even more manly than those with high tolerance !! and women with high tolerances, you’re still very fem and very cool and valid as a woman and those who aren’t binary or aligning you are valid as your gender or as no gender no matter what tolerance you have <33)

caring about myself more. and i don’t mean in a “i’m gonna have a nice fucking bath and be happy about it” way i mean in a “i’m going to feed myself well, drink lots of water, get good exercise and be respectful to myself at the very least” way. and also in the bath way. baths are nice

collecting shit !! idk dude but having a collection of dumb shit just makes me feel so masc and good cause i swear to the stars nearly every dude i’ve met and stepped into the house of has a collection of SOMETHING whether it’s games, books, rocks, crystals, cookbooks and recipies or art supplies or whatever makes them happy. like legit fucking anything and i like collecting stuff too so its a bonus !!

just being nice. just being a nice dude makes me feel so manly

being silly and myself and doing dumb shit and being unapologetic about it (im still working on being able to do this since i struggle a lot but when i can it feels so good !!)

being stupidly loyal to something equally stupid /pos. like yes i have had this stuffed animal since the dawn of time no i will never get rid of her. she’s a genderfuck lesbian rainbow tiger from buildabear workshop who goes by the name of Roxy i will never get rid of her >:(. and so what my ring is so rusty it makes my skin green every three days ?? i clean it and take it off when it gets out of control back off bitch its mine. why are you so concerned about my shoes ????? fuck you i like them how they are (falling apart and dishevelled, the sole is halfway off already and it hasn’t been even remotely okay since three years ago) and they still fit and work so i’ll wear them until i literally cannot anymore. its so fun and it’s such a “just some guy” activity AND it makes my autism goblin feel safe and good too so its great would reccommend

just talking about stuff i like and that makes me feel good but not to anybody in particular. maybe in my notes, maybe on tumblr (like right now !! i’m doing this one right now !!) maybe on my personal dm to myself. it just makes me feel like a boy i love it PLUS i dont actually have to stress about humans on the other end of it so i feel way more confident and comfortable and as a result even MORE manly !!

ice cream on cones. i will not elaborate

travelling and exploring !! like legit anywhere. as long as i’m moving from one place to another and exploring the world i feel so happy and right and also masculine it’s great i love travelling so much. on holidays i enjoy the act of travelling even more than the holiday itself tbh

(to clarify i identify as male but a bit fucked in the gender - if you want a label i still identify as nonbinary but male aligningg <3)

[worldsover]

Dal Segno ft. Chuu

length ✦ 3570

genres ✧ music making; oral fixation; facefuck; subby!Chuu

✦✧✦✧✦✧

Composition is only fifty percent of the process, you've heard, but it's closer to ten for you. For the importance of a solid melody and chord progression with the right instruments and singer, a song becomes less than the sum of its parts with bad mixing because all that effort goes to waste when you can’t hear something, or when something is too loud, or when a certain je ne sais quoi is wrong. But you do know. You don't have to be a chef to be a food critic but it certainly helps. Avoid muddling the lows as it waters down the soup. Carve space in the highs to prevent too much salt from killing the taste buds. Have at most five sounds at a time or else the flavors clash. Focus on these basic techniques to guide you as repetition wears down your mind. Funny. Repetition legitimizes especially in music yet here you are fatigued by repetition as though you weren't down four cups of black coffee. Repetition legitimizes. “From the sign,” the translation reads. Notation, simply instructing a musician to return to a certain point in a piece. You recognize it as an intro song you wrote years ago.

Glass and foam separate the undersized room. Cheap ramen and dampness in the hot air contribute to the odor. You would keep the fan on, if it were worth the extra time filtering out faint noise from recordings. The only scent that keeps you sane is a slight strawberry flavor lingering in the room. Jiwoo. Your muse. A large clock holds both of its hands near one with the lack of natural light muddling whether it’s AM or PM. Studios were always underground man-caves whether they were discount rooms or the signature workspace of the biggest producers. Here you are in the former. Look down at the Macbook and all the wires, sliders, and knobs. Deep breath. “Take 63,” you say into the cheap control room microphone.

“Not good enough.”

“Again.”

“One more.”

Look up. Jiwoo sucks on a grape lollipop. You stare. Watching her fixated on getting all flavor out of the purple sweet derails your flow state. See, work had a rhythm. Listen, volume up, hotkey to copy this clip, volume down. The obvious innuendo sends you offbeat. That perky butt bending over to get a notebook filled with lyrics entrenches the folds of your brain. She didn’t have to wear that skirt. You’ve seen that skirt already and you wish she weren’t wearing it. Oh, you really wish she weren’t wearing that skirt. Guilt sets in. You’re a trusted coworker, she, a naive girl. It takes a while to find your groove again. Your stare has yet to cease until she finally returns the eye contact with candy still in mouth. Her pink tongue laps to secure all the sugar and red pillows engulf the ever-shrinking circle. Pop. Anyone else and it would be calculated action.

“Oppa." Her voice resounds in your monitor headphones. "I don’t know if these harmonies really make sense. Why did you write the second voice to cross down below the main line? Plus it goes so low."

“To be fair, you wrote both of those melodies and you said you wanted them in the same song. Tell me anywhere else they’d work.”

“Ugh, let’s figure this out later. Next song.“

Dozens of takes later and Jiwoo’s frustration causes her to make mistakes. Sometimes she even tries to start singing with the sucker in her mouth. For the character she plays, you know she’s a professional and that she can be better. Yet hours later, she still could not get the vocal runs right. Incomplete songs bloat your project folder: "Jiwoo - Mania", "Jiwoo - Look Closer", "Jiwoo - Untitled Idea 21". Just a small side project that the company approved during another ample period of break time between comebacks. That’s why the director didn’t even let you use the company’s facilities, instead opting to rent out this cheap closet of a studio. At least no one would be mad about the amount of time you spent recording together.

You shift seats from the leather office chair to the white lovechair, the only two pieces of furniture that fit comfortably in the room. Jiwoo follows suit and leaves the recording booth, really more of a phone booth in square footage, while she huffs and puffs on her candy.

“I’m tired, oppa,” she says.

“Me too, Jiwoo. May I remind you that I’m not getting paid extra for this. Are you gonna focus or what?” your voice just a few cents down, just a bit harsher.

“I, I’m sorry.” A lick anyway. Her meek tone disappears, “Ya! You know how good your royalties are gonna be. Sole producer and all that. Plus, here you are still doing all this work for me." Why were you working so hard on this? "You know, if you just taught me how to use Ableton-”

“Then I’d be out of a job.”

Jiwoo frowns, “Wow, selfish much? You could’ve joined me as a trainee.”

“Nah, no way. Fish dance better.”

“Shut up, oppa. You would’ve easily made it with your, um, musical talent.” She clamps down on the lollipop with her mouth.

“You good? What was that?”

“Let’s," she stands promptly, "get back to recording.”

Crack. Jiwoo bites down on the lollipop and throws the stick in the trash. In ten minutes, she nails the verse she spent hours trying to get right. It'd be really nice to know what catalyzed that rally. You'd ask but driving Jiwoo back to her dorm is quiet as usual.

✦✧✦✧✦✧

Make a good impression on someone, anyone, on your first day as a mixing engineer. That’s why you returned to the Blockberry Creative building with an extra bar of Melona in hand. A simple bribery. Light beamed down between two skyscrapers on a short girl with long hair and strands of bangs adorning her forehead. She stood outside the lobby, introducing herself to every passerby. You had to pinch her cheeks, the intrusive thought screamed.

She scurried up to you. “Hi! I’m Kim Jiwoo and I’m going to become an idol!”

Ah, a trainee. You already knew she was destined to become one. Well, not literally, you weren’t in charge of that. But her overflowing charm was impossible to ignore. You had to tease her though, “Are you sure?”

“Hey! What would you know about that, mister?” she said.

You bit down on your mango. “Mister? First of all, I’m only a high school senior,” her lips rounded in surprise, “And second, I’m your new audio guy, and I know for a fact they’re debuting you girls in order of talent.”

“Woooow. Well, I’ll have you know, I have a great voice!” She certainly spoke lyrically.  “Wait a minute, I didn’t know they hired people that young.” You pointed at her. “Okay, I’m in high school too. But that’s different, idols start this age.”

“I guess. I’ve been making music ever since I was a kid, and they liked what I had,” you said and Jiwoo nodded in understanding.

She fluttered her eyebrows. “Sooo, is that mango ice cream for me? Oppa?” A little surprised she already called you that, but it sounded right.

“No, I have this unopened strawberry-” Jiwoo snatched the half-eaten cold treat from your hand, and started licking it. Trouble she would be.

You spent many recording sessions together, alone after all the other members left. She cozied up to you because her little musical snippets had to become full-fledged tracks and you helped her out every time.

Something changed over the years however. Your interactions became colder. It felt like you were the only one who she would respond to in a deeper voice. Jiwoo wouldn't pepper you with silly acts or mess around. Maybe she took you more seriously which is how you managed to make more songs together regardless. Then, you stood idly by and watched her debut. Who didn't love her? But when she was with you, you missed the playfulness, the ice cream and her riffing over your playful guitar strums. It turned less of a hobby and more of a job though you never regretted any second with Jiwoo regardless.

Under the Earth's largest natural satellite, you shared a simple meal in black bean noodles. She was still in her hippie outfit from the comeback, and you handed her your jacket since it was cold. You realized, there was something else there that you were too inexperienced to notice. Your bodies' radiation replace the chill in the air, a bubble with just the two of you eating on the grass in a park near your dorm. A cliche slurping on one noodle and Jiwoo pulled away. In embarrassment, like a damn anime character, she hiccuped. Good thing you didn't close your eyes when you leaned in.

“Wanna make an album together?” Jiwoo says.

“Sure.”

You threw away the noodles’ package and escorted her home. That was all you expected anyway. Fine.

✦✧✦✧✦✧

“That’s enough!”

Three goddamn weeks. It's been three goddamn weeks and you've barely made any progress.

Barge into the booth, slam the door shut and raise your tone, just below a shout, “I've had it up to here! You know how many of my songs have been mashed together in some unholy quest for your perfection? Just one unknown something is missing and either you start complaining or we move on to the next."

She backs up from the mic to the insulated wall but you continue, paying no heed to her, as you spout your piece to the artificially cold air, "You know how much time I’ve spent outside working on these songs? These are songs I’ve saved up over years. And you trash them like they’re nothing. How do you even manage to record LOONA tracks?”

Regret sinks in. This was your passion project as much as hers. Was it frustration from the recordings? Weeks of the same routine and it took until now for you to give in to your temper.

"It wouldn't even be that bad! If you could just one time, you could be cute or cheerful again with me, or,” Fuck. So stupid. You don’t have to take your friendships for granted like this. You’re lucky enough she treats you as much. “Hold on. Wait, I'm-"

Examine her face. It’s not sour and she hasn’t stormed out or even slapped you.

“No, no. You don’t have to say it. I’m. I’m sorry oppa.” She looks down. “I'm the one messing up after all." Her heartbeat a harsh snare drum. "And you. You're. Different. Looking at you always made me feel some, something funny. Not funny but? Ugh. I wish I could explain it.”

You hold in your confusion.

She blabbers on, “Like, are. Are you mad? I promise you, I,” A nervous breath, ”I like you. Okay?"

Your confusion grows like the length of your silence.

"I’m just acting how I really am with you. Do you want to maybe, I don't know, like," her voice decrescendos, "Um. Punish me?”

Your heart, your brain are deprived of blood as it all rushes down. Did you hear that right? Not an apology, not retribution, but a call to punishment? Misinterpreting her, the consequences would be dire but that damned demure tone for such an erotic request. Was Jiwoo the exact type of slut constructed in your mind? The one that made you feel sinful for even imagining. No, no, there's no way.

Too late. Jiwoo must have noticed the absurd bulge now. It had to be these Adidas pants today. Fuck it. Life can’t be lived fully without risk. Hopefully, the same switch turned in her mind. You remove all ire from your face and say in earnest, “Do you like games?"

She lights up a little. You sigh relieved.

"Let’s try…”, you say, ”Strip recording.” She lights up a little more, so you go on, ”If I mess up anything, the mix, the composition, the arrangement, I’ll take off a piece of clothing. Your choice. And every time you mess up-”

Jiwoo unbuttons her denim shorts and brings them down her tight legs.

“D- did I say now?”

However, with her resolve steeled, she continues pulling them. "So what? I did mess up, right?" she says coquettish. Deliberate the turn she makes when she bows down to remove the shorts from her legs, Jiwoo reveals a hint of her innie pussy on that same little ass that ran through your mind earlier. A small trace of her thighs glistens, the only thing reflecting the single lightbulb’s glow in the microphone’s abode. She turns back to face you. "Please. Punish me."

Step closer until Jiwoo backs up to the soundproofing. She’s an eighth note away from your face, flashing her beady eyes and a coy smile, ”Where's your underwear?" A little drop spills out onto the floor, "And why are you so wet, Jiwoo-ah?”

Red on her cheeks, like she only now realized her dishevelment in front of you. “You just… Something about you snapping at me. I don’t get it either. I knew you'd do it, some day, I wanted you to," she mumbles in her best efforts to answer you.

“Have you ever worn underwear to the recordings?”

Those efforts continue to fail.

"Oh, Kim Jiwoo. What do I do with you?" One of your hands grabs her cheek. The other crawls down her back to grab her cheek.

“Oppa… Do I have to say it?”

“I want to hear every." Smack. "Word." Smack. She slips a moan.

“Can you," she says, "can you use my mouth?”

You disguise your long pause as thought, teasing the bare skin of her ass with your exploratory fingers to bide time, but it's an expression of your shock. The interruption helps you come up with a more suitable punishment however.

“How about this then. Every time you mess up, you have to give me a blowjob. Call?”

“Call!” Once more, unprompted, she kneels down in front of you and claws away your track pants. You roll with the punches.

"Oppaa," with an pronounced pop and in a sing-songy rhythm, "I've always wanted to know, if your dick-" It certainly didn't need Jiwoo's dainty hands pulling on your boxers, as it would've sprang out on its own with how like diamond your cock is getting.

"Fuuuck," the first profanity you ever hear her utter, she lilts. "Please. Oppa. Fuck my face?"

After all she said, she could still surprise you. Bring your hips forward and just as you would've her pussy, tease Jiwoo’s lips with the head of your dick. She parts them open, starved, anxious.

Hold her by the chin. "Wait."

She freezes at the command. Again, like foreplay, rub her lips with that head making them turn redder and more plump. You sweep aside her bangs to see her begging eyes. More importantly, slide your dick up to her nude forehead to slap as a first act of retribution. “A-ah!” Jiwoo stutters as you slap her face with your manhood again and again. Bring your cock back down and she's already a mess without you even having entered her mouth. A little drool from her shut lips gently massages your balls while a bit of precum drools from your slit to meet those lips.

Jiwoo mumbles as best as she can with you holding her jaw shut and your dick on her lips, "Please. Please. Shove your dick in me. I need you in my mouth."

You squint your rough eyes to command her.

Muffled still, "Oppa. Please. I. I need to taste you. You just, you're so thick and you're so long and cock is perfect and please I just-"  Loosen the grip on her chin to let her envelop the entire tip with her warm lips. "Mmmmm..." the moan resonates a saw wave and your stern resolve fades away on your first entrance into her face but it returns as her teeth rub against you. She quickly readjusts her jaw but it takes multiple attempts of you pulling out and her sucking you back until only silken lips hold your cock's head. Finally. A focused glint in her eyes. She endeavours to keep your tip in her mouth as long as possible.

You were mad at her earlier, weren't you?

Recall this anger and press yourself into her with all your hips' strength, working against the force of her lip's airtight suction. Saliva leaks to betray the seal. Jiwoo's prying tongue explores the underside of your cock but you reach an impasse while she's not even halfway down the shaft. You shove your dick deeper but to no avail and tears roll down her eyes joining the fluids coating her lips. Thus you exit back out. And back in you go to repeat and repeat and slowly increase your rate, becoming rough sex with her diligent mouth. All the positions you’ve imagined fucking her little pussy, you picture using her throat instead. Even in this compact studio, the couch, chair and desk would provide ample support for you to use her in many ways. The dirty thoughts inspire your speed right now. She slurps and gulps at every quick plunge but you realize her moans and rumbles aren't just incoherent reactions. You decelerate.

“Ah, ahhh, ahhhhhh… Ah’ve ahways- Hmph.” She slurs as she tries her hardest to communicate while her airway is blocked.

She slides up your cock to catch some air, “Thought about it- Mmm.”

“Your dick in my mouth and it’s just so pew, fect- Ahhh.” Jiwoo's lips let go gently then her tongue sticks out to lick up your cock and she shows off a trail of spit leading to your tip. A less patient man would’ve jerked himself off right there to grant her eyes and open mouth's unison request to feed on your cum.

Instead you retort, “You think you’ve earned it? Not even halfway down. Going nowhere, just like our recording sessions, huh?”

“Shut up!”

“Oof.” You’re already weak in the knees so Jiwoo's one handed shove sends your tailbone to the floor. Since you’re still dazed by her confounding strength, she takes initiative and kowtows her head into your lap to crawl down your cock with her tiny lips. Fondling your balls, Jiwoo starts from the furthest point she could muster on your shaft up to your cock head. Her tongue follows back and she starts playing under your tip to swirl that tongue around the most sensitive parts until it explores your slit. You buckle and groan. Jiwoo sucks and spits and sucks while she circles only the most minimal twisting motion of her lips on your head. This is the Jiwoo you know. Relentless. Only now your load is her magnus opus.

Her right hand strays downwards and her face on your dick blocks a full view but you can tell that hand is working as intensely as her mouth. As she strokes herself with more vigor, she starts humming a satisfied melody on your tip. In kind, your subtle grunts turn into full-bodied moans. You're a single measure away from your coda so you reach down and pull her off your cock by grabbing her neck.

You glare into her. “Desperate little girl, aren't you?”

Her breath is stilted and she's nearly shaking. “Please…” she sobs, ”You, you want it as bad as I do right?” Of course. “Won't you just cum for me?” Not now. Not when you have putty in your hands.

“You're making a mess. You can't take me all the way down. And I see that it’s not just your saliva coating the floor.” Point to the spot where she kneels, her drool joins a stain growing ever larger with a strand of juice from her pussy flowing as you continue to berate her. Then you point to her hand. Ha. “Were you playing with yourself using my pencil?”

“No… Wait!”

You back off. “Your top’s a mess too. Anyone can tell I just fucked your face.” You take off your black hoodie and give it to her. “I’ll see you tomorrow for our next session.”

“Wait, we didn’t book tomorrow, did we? Also, you can’t just leave me like this! Oppa!”

"I said, I'll see you tomorrow. I have to go,“ you remind her, ”Ha Rin’s picking you up. And give me back that pencil.”

She hands it to you, unable to meet your eyes despite hers lusting over your cock. You'll definitely use the alluring musk on it for later to save you from your self-induced blue balls. Exit the booth. Of course she barely waits to use your hoodie the same way since she doesn’t notice you lingering in the room. Instead of hiding the grey long sleeve that soaks her neck, your used sweatshirt covers Jiwoo’s face as her fingers make the mess on the floor larger.

✦✧✦✧✦✧

AFF, AO3

Swear to god I’m not just writing the cutest idols to write for. I mean maybe I am but also this answer from @nsfwtwicecatcher​ and all the subsequent pictures that I found of Chuu pouting inspired me. Also, this was a longer piece but I kept spinning my tires on it and decided to split it up, so look out for more.

✦✧✦✧✦✧

Fermata, the aforementioned sequel

[forbidding-souda]

About Mod Souda

You guys should talk to me in the ask box more smh you guys are fun

Like just tell me about your day but I won’t guarantee that like 1000% I’ll respond but I’ll read them all.... efkjlwdbsc or or ask me questions or something idk I like talking

1500 followers face reveal when (shocked emoji) /srs

Anyways here’s some things about me because I never really introduced myself (since this is my account and why would I do an introduction)

THIS IS LITERALLY MY LIFE STORY GOODBYE BAHSBAH

-Mod Souda 

Hi I am Mod Souda and I go by he/him ofc ofc I am a gay man.

Uhh I am an a native amercan mixed kid AND an Aquarius ugh I’m so unique right. I was raised by a raver and a metalhead skater in Vegas. I’ve been in the pit since I was 4 years old (specifically at a Primus concert LMAO).

The first fandom I was in was Creepypasta, and I was about 8 years old. It’s funny because the first musician I ever actively liked was Madame Macabre. 

As a child (like 7-11) I mainly listened to Vocaloid, Madame Macabre, and Nicki Minaj.

When Avengers came out I was still in elementary school. And .. Loki... wrjhfbwejdhb bro!! gay awakening!! holy shit. I was in love with him but I didn’t want to admit it smh shhh.

The first anime I ever watched was Black Butler. I was IN LOVE with Joker from Book of Circus ehbwdjqshdfb. The last episode of that season ended the day I moved to California. I remember crying bc of the last scene inside of the moving truck.

I also got into Fairy Tail a lot. Also tragic. I had the hugest crush on Gajeel Redfox mmmmmemdwkgsnekfdjsglkvcx

I live in the Bay Area, and grew up in the same house, compared to living in Vegas where I moved every two years. There are ... so many poc here ... and in vegas I was in a class with all white people. Being around so many poc was so like ?? fun ?? idk how to describe it but it feels like how life should feel like; not stressful at all.

I started listening to goth music when I was 12 because I was in the Mr. Creepypasta amino and somebody was like “you guys should join the goth amino” and I was like oh that sounds so fun !!! Boom... goth Mod Souda arrived.

I was all about Sopor Aeternus and Switchblade Symphony. 

I discovered my lifelong favorite artist in like 2016. It was because I was making playlist for my Fairy Tail oc (tragic) and I added this song I got off of a “Creepypasta Theme Songs” and it was Bernadette by IAMX (which was assigned to Laughing Jack). And I listened to the song and was like meh this is cool. Then one day I played the playlist and it just.... hit different. LMAO I was like waiitittttititit. The next day, on the way to the airport, I downloaded all 7 (at the time) of his albums and listened to them the whole way. I’ve seen him live too like mm chris corner I love you.

I got into DR in 2015 because of an edit of (anime) Syo and Junko to Pound the Alarm LOL. I was like “this looks cool” so I watched it on my phone while sitting on the couch all in one go. Spoilers but I cried the most when mondo and sakura died, fun fact. Life went down from there smh!! 

I really believed that I was dating Gundham Tanaka. Like everything in my life was Gundham Tanaka related like I was ... obsessed with him. And I coudln’t see art of him and sonia because it would make me have a breakdown bc I thought he was cheating on me PLZ BHDSABHJBAHAAHHA it’s funny because I kin sonia now and I’m in love with her.

This was the same year where I ???? got bruises on my eardrums somehow (I asked my dad recently how I got them and he went uhh idk) ???? and I couldn’t hear anything for like three years plz. My hearing has gotten better but idk if my ear percentage is 100%/100% or if I’m just grateful it isn’t what it is before LMAO so that’s when I started learning ASL.

This is also the same year where I got hospitalized for being a neurodevelopmental schizophrenic lol OOPS !

A funny story of me growing up with danganronpa is uhh when future arc was still airing ,,, Spoilers,, and the episode with Juzo passing aired,, I literally printed the frame of him talking to himself confessing his love and BROUGHT IT TO SCHOOL. I LIT A CANDLE FOR HIM TOO LIKE BYE

Freshman year of highschool I started dating an emo kid who brought his electric guitar to school. TRAGIC. We dated for like two years please what.

Sophomore year I started getting into metal and punk. This is mainly because I went to a Slayer concert. I was trying to branch out of my goth bubble and !!! metal really stuck with me. My favorite subgenre is goregrind. It’s mmm so good. Punk... was a miss. I absolutely hate punks. If anyone in the alternative community is reading this right now I’ll tell you this: the punks that I interacted with to learn more about the community were from OC .... goodbye

I still listen to Glass Street tho ^ they are hc/crossover and I really like their music omg I have their merch now plz HBSAJKH and I still like the patch pants / crusties I made so that’s cool. A lot of kids look up / glamorize me just because of my fashion but at least they give me clout ig ...

The year after that I downloaded Spotify for the first time. I was an apple music/youtube person (tragic). Uhh what else omg. I finally figured out that I was neurodevelopmental and that it affected my way of thinking and that ,, it wasn’t JUST because I am sch so that was an awakening.

Anyways now trying to get a minor in asl interpreting mmmm and trying to get a job SMH !! why is it so hard. I’m into DND now oo that’s new and I’m collecting the dice.

I started this blog in July 2020 when I was staying with my friend in a tent in New York for a couple of months. I forced her to watch despair arc (LOL) and now she’s a junko cosplayer so B^)

Metalhead anon and everyone else who’s been here for a long ass time make me SOOO happy like woah.. it’s been so long omg. I used to post fics three times a day like wtf the EFFORT (that was before school started lol oops my bad)

Since then I’ve got a boyfriend and a whole wave of danganronpa cosplayers who are my friends now. It’s really cool to talk to so many young people (sometimes) who are hella into like,, open conversations about gender and politics and whatnot. I’m used to talking to 20 year old goth people you know? 

Whenever I do something “cringey” (like if I want to do dr character impersonations or if I want to rant about how much I love this anime character or if I want to try out neopronouns) I’m like hmmmm I can go to the danganronpa cosplayers and I know they won’t judge me for this.

Anyways that’s it. It’s 22:50 where I am right now aaaanndd I go on this blog way more than I should LOL

[hiddenwritingsintheworld]

Somebody Else-Jensen x Reader Part 2

[Sooo many of you requested a Part 2 to the one shot 10,000 Emerald Pools, so I fought myself trying to find the most person sequel. and I think I did just that! I hope you all love this!!  P.S Thank you all for being so patient with me, my mental health hasn’t been the greatest for quite a while and I’ve been going through alot of stuff. It’s really hard for me right now, in all aspects of life but I promise I’m going to try and fix everything! Thank you all for your love and support! means way more than you know!]

Somebody Else-The 1975 (LISTEN TO THE SONG HERE!)

10,000 Emerald Pools (You must read this one before reading ‘Somebody Else’) 

Donations

               Jensen wasn’t really sure where you two were headed after you left the hospital. He knew two things, number one he wanted to work things out and get back together. Number two he knew things would be different now that you were busy with your music. Which, he was really impressed and proud of, he just knew how busy the famous life could be. He hoped that you guys could be friends but from the moment he’d helped you into his car, you were silent; and he knew that wasn’t a good sign.

               You sat quietly next to Jay; he was insistent on being there to help you. You’d tore a small muscle in your back, nothing major, you’d be fine in a few weeks but Jay wasn’t having that. He said he would be your body guard/personal assistant, whatever it took for you to forgive him. Which, you already had but you knew in your heart that you couldn’t just admit it. He’d really hurt you when he ended things like he did, and all because he was famous? You could have cared less about that.

               You had started to see a future with him and he ruined that. It was going to take a lot more than just getting you some food and a book when you wanted to make up for that. But as you pulled up to your house, a few cars were parked outside. “shit….” You mumbled as you carefully undid your seat belt. “What’s going on?” Jay asked as he parked the car. “I completely forgot, I’m hosting a small get together for some major people in the record company today and I have to give a small performance.” You sighed closing your eyes. “Are you sure you’re up for that?” Jay asked you softly. You looked at him and nodded “I have to be, it’s my job.” You stated flatly and opened the door.

               Jay jumped out and made his way around the car, but you were already trying to pull yourself out when he got there. He carefully helped you up giving you a small lecture about waiting for help. But sitting on your couch for hours with a guitar on your lap wasn’t going to go along with the doctor’s orders, which consisted of ‘lots of bed rest and relaxation. Take the pain medication as needed with an off set of Tylenol.’

               You walked inside the house and smiled as some of your friends came over and greeted you. “Who’s the hot nurse?” your friend Ashley grinned after Jay had carefully set you on the couch, and left to get you some food and something to drink. You glared at her, “he’s my personal assistant. NOT nurse. And he’s off limits” you snapped.

               Ashley as well as a couple of close by people turned and looked at you with a concerned look. “Sorry, just in a lot of pain.” You said trying to lean back. “Whoa, easy, let me help you.” Jay came back with a peanut butter and jelly sandwich, with a glass of sweet tea. God why did he have to know you so well. You sat back against some pillows and felt the tension leave your back.

               “Let’s hear this magical song, which I’ve heard rumors is about a certain young man who broke your heart,” David, one of the company’s top dogs said with a smart-ass smirk on his face. “Yep. He dumped me, and so for revenge I wrote this song about how I just can’t live without him. Almost died making the music video about it.” You laughed as they did but your laughter was fake. You hated this, you wanted out of it so badly. Music was a great way to express what you were feeling, and it did that for a lot of people, but it was obvious to you that these guys weren’t in this business for their feelings. They were in it to get their pockets fattened.

               You were handed your guitar and you slowly strummed on it, “So while I was in the hospital, I was thinking of another song, which it’s not finished, however I want to sing some of it for you all today. We’ve all heard our first hit, but I think this could be a second one.” You said softly as you began to play the guitar. No one objected thank god, and you began to sing softly.

‘So, I heard you found somebody else

And at first, I thought it was a lie

I took all my things that make sounds

The rest I can do without

 I don't want your body

But I hate to think about you with somebody else

Our love has gone cold

You're intertwining your soul with somebody else’

               Jay watched from the door frame across the room, he knew this too, was about him. Only this time, he was getting the message a lot louder and clearer. You were over him; you didn’t want him anymore. But you also didn’t like the idea of someone else having him. Which was nice in his mind, because maybe this meant your anger wrote this song. Maybe you were just angry that he’d started to date someone else. Or that he was on a date when you saw him again.

‘I'm looking through you while you're looking through your phone

And then leaving with somebody else

No, I don't want your body

But I'm picturing your body with somebody else’

               You slowed the guitar strings and looked at everyone. “That’s all I got so far, but I think it kind of flows nicely from 10,000 Emerald pools.” You said, but most of the big wigs started talking amongst themselves, after about an hour they began to leave, but not before telling you that they liked what they’d heard and they were expecting you back in the studio soon, regardless of your back injury. You all needed to talk about this album that was going to come out.

               You watched Jay clean up the house, your notepad and pen sat on your leg as you watched him. No doubt you knew what this album was about. It was going to be all about Jay, and the feelings you held for him. You began to write as you played some beats on your phone. You looked at him again to see him glancing at you. “You feeling okay? You look a little pale, you’re supposed to be resting while taking those pills.” He said coming over and helping you lay back on the pillows. “yeah, just thinking is all.” You said and covered up with a blanket as you yawned.

               You started to quietly sing again as Jay went into the kitchen and cleaned everything up. Tapping your pen on your notepad, you began to develop a nice rhythm to the song.

‘I don't want your body, I don't want your body

I don't want your body, I don't want your body

I don't want your body, I don't want your body

I don't want your body; I don't want your body’

               Weeks passed and Jay never left your side, you’d often remind yourself you didn’t want him. But it was so hard, he’d work out while you did some therapy, he’d cook for you, clean up your place, he was like your right hand, always there, always willing and eager to help you. But you knew he just wanted to hear that you forgave him.

               One morning Jay woke up and heard music, he’d never heard it before. Crawling out of bed, he walked over to the guest bedroom window, that he slept with open and listened. You were sitting out on the back porch singing softly with your guitar.

‘Come on baby

This ain't the last time that I'll see your face

Come on baby

You said you'd find someone to take my place

 Oh, I just don't believe that you have got it in you cause

We are just gonna keep "doin' it" and everytime

I start to believe in anything you're saying

I'm reminded that I should be getting over it

 I don't want your body

But I hate to think about you with somebody else

Our love has gone cold

You're intertwining your soul with somebody else’

               Jay listened to the feeling and passion you put into this song, he had crushed you, truly, and you were angry that he was here. Which, he should try to smooth things over but what was the point? You were bound to reject him again and again. You literally wrote a song about driving him away. If you truly had wanted to be with him you would have tried to be.

               It may not have been the most perfect plan but Jay was going to do one last, final attempt to get you back. He sat down and began to write a letter to you as he listened to sing that morning. It was a long shot, but he was willing to do anything to get you back.  

‘I'm looking through you while you're looking through your phone

And then leaving with somebody else

No, I don't want your body

But I'm picturing your body with somebody else

I don't want your body, I don't want your body

I don't want your body, I don't want your body

I don't want your body, I don't want your body

I don't want your body, I don't want your body

 Get someone you love?

Get someone you need?

Fuck that, get money

I can't give you my soul, 'cause we're never alone

Get someone you love?

Get someone you need?

Fuck that, get money

I can't give you my soul, 'cause we're never alone

Get someone you love?

Get someone you need?

Fuck that, get money

I can't give you my soul, 'cause we're never alone

Get someone you love?

Get someone you need?

Fuck that, get money

I can't give you my soul, 'cause we're never alone

 I don't want your body

But I hate to think about you with somebody else

Our love has gone cold

You're intertwining your soul with somebody else

 I'm looking through you while you're looking through your phone

And then leaving with somebody else

No, I don't want your body

But I'm picturing your body with somebody else’

@adriellej​ @sgarrett49​ @smoothdogsgirl​ @mrssamfuckingwinchester​ @hobby27​ @traceyaudette​ @mogaruke​ @thewalkingdistancefrom​ @booger206​ @ellen-reincarnated1967​ @heimganger​ @moonlitskinwalker​ @teamfreewillimagines-blog​ @stoneygirl​ @monkeymcpoopoo​ @sandlee44​ @asgardianvamp21​ @frozenhuntress67​ @babypink224221​ @just-another-busy-fangirl​ @flamencodiva​ @for-the-love-of-the-fandom​ @jaylarkson​ @auriel187​ @jessica-marsh09​ @woodworthti666​ 

(P.S Let me know if you want to stay on the tag list or be added! Im creating a new one!! Thank you!!) 

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #392

“l.a. is where stars come to die”

Do you think there’s anything you did better when you were younger? I think I was a better writer, honestly. Like I've developed in some areas, like being less over-dramatic, but I just think my creativity in wording and such has dulled down. Who was the craziest teacher you’ve ever had? I've never had a "crazy" teacher, honestly. What’s the last thing you got paid to do? Take pictures. What’s the most romantic thing you’ve ever done for someone else? How should I know? Ask either Jason or Sara. Have you ever wanted to model? No. Have you ever seen someone have a seizure? I THINK my sister? Teddy had seizures in his old age, too. What’s your favorite car? I don't have one, really. Do you know any HTML or CSS? If yes, how much? I know veeeeery little basics. LIke, I can change the color of shit and that's about it lmao. Do you tend to care about the lives of celebrities? Why or why not? Only celebrities I really really care about, like Mark. What do you think of the scene style? #aesthetic and I will ALWAYS be envious of the hair. Have you ever told an extremely inappropriate joke? Oh god, I remember one. What is the highest you have been up, other than in an airplane? On a certain faire ride, I wanna say. Is there any hope of you ever seeing your favorite band in concert? Ozzy does want to do another tour at some point, but he's fighting Parkinson's currently, so it's not guaranteed it will happen. Mom and I planned on going to his last one that was scheduled, but the diagnosis cancelled it. :( What is your favorite non-green vegetable? Uhhhhh I guess potatoes. What is your favorite non-traditional fruit? I don't think I've even had a non-traditional fruit. Just basic stuff. Have you ever had Swedish Fish? Yeah, I'm not a fan. What is your favorite origami shape? Birds, I guess. Do you usually take the stairs or the elevator? I pretty much always take an elevator if one's available because my legs can barely handle stairs at all. It's agonizing for me. Do you need a key card to get into the building you live in? No. What was the last takeout food you had? I had a burger from McDonald's a few days ago. Do you take the pickle off your burgers? No, I love pickles on burgers. Do you share a bed with anyone? Just my cat. If you’ve read or watched Harry Potter, which book/movie is your favorite? I haven't. What’s the last app you downloaded on your phone? I re-installed DragonVale. What do you know the most about? Meerkats, Markiplier, and Silent Hill, probably. What TV shows can you not stand? What's that stupid show on Adult Swim, Rooster Teeth or something like that? That shit was so dumb. Have you ever tasted your own tears? I mean not intentionally. Sometimes tears just fall down a spot where it happens. Are your legs hairy? I can almost guarantee to you that I probably have the hairiest legs of any woman you've ever met. Do you like Cheese-Itz? I love them! We don't really buy them though because both Mom and I can destroy a box of them. Have you ever built a sandcastle? I have. Did you ever watch Barney as a child? Yeah, I loved Barney, but not as much as my older sister. She literally "married" him, haha. Have you ever had a pet rabbit? No, but my older sis did as a kid. That poor thing died and Ashley didn't know for THREE DAYS. Mom took it out earlier and I guess she wanted to see how long it took Ash to notice? She didn't take great care of it, so. Are you wearing anything of any sentimental value? Describe? Yes, my friendship ring with Sara. To you, what is especially distracting? Tapping noises. When was the last time you did some major cleaning? MAJOR cleaning? Good question. How do you feel about people who neglect their pets? It sickens me. Have you ever contemplated cheating on anyone? Nope. When are you likely to lie? Probably when I don't want to seriously hurt someone. What is a personality type that you do not like? I hate people who think they know everything, are unwilling to acknowledge their flaws and work on them, feel they're better than others, are closed-minded, sexist, bigoted, racist... What is a personality type that you DO like? I am drawn to people who are empathetic and try to understand and consider more than just themselves, are caring and genuine, philosophical and think deeply, are calm, friendly, good listeners, and have a light sense of humor. Which of your friends is the least like you? In what way? I actually don't know. MAYBE Mini with her being extremely conservative to a frustrating degree and overwhelmingly religious. We diverge pretty strongly in beliefs that are important to me. How about the most like you? In what way? Sara! We have incredibly similar interests and morals, and we both are wild over animals. When was the last time you felt under-appreciated? I'm gonna be completely transparent here, even though it's uncomfortable to admit. I was very unhappy with the literally two interactions a poem I was really proud of got on dA. Like it was one I was trying to get published prior to just posting it there, so it was really disappointing to feel so overlooked when you worked hard on something you felt came out great. Does anyone take advantage of you or take you for granted? No. Are you taking anyone for granted? I sure as hell hope no one feels like I do. I definitely try to appreciate those I have to the utmost. What is one selfish thing that you do? I prioritize my alone time probably too much. How about something selfless? I'm pretty much always willing to listen to people's hardships and comfort them even if my own mental health is in poor condition. What do you like to do on your favorite holiday? Just be with family and really focus on how lucky I am to have them. What helps you fall asleep? I guess really paying attention to slowing my breathing, but that doesn't always work. It takes me at LEAST half an hour to fall asleep, so I struggle no matter what. Is there anyone you wish you were still friends with now? Megan. I really, really miss her. What is a fear you want to overcome? SOCIAL ANXIETY. UGH. What is something you do not like about yourself, with good reason? I'm lazy. What do you usually cry about? PTSD. Do you like pizza better on the second day? No. What do you like on your pancakes? Butter and normal syrup. Have you ever made up your own emoticon? I don't think so. How do you generally meet people? Online in one way or another. Have you ever seen a Broadway show in New York? No. Are you listening to music right now? Yeah, "God Hates Your Outfit" by Jeffree Star lmao. Look, it's catchy. Can anyone in your immediate family play the guitar? No. Have you ever wished to be an internet celebrity? How about a ‘real’ one? No. Like I've actually *loosely* considered trying to be a let's player with my love of games, but I don't even want to *risk* popularity; not that I think I'd get to that point, but still, I don't like the chance. Have you ever been kayaking? No. Do you still live with your parents? Yes. Do you believe you will never get over someone? I think Jason will always occupy at the very least a small corner of my mind. I just deal with loss so poorly in general, but that... that breakup was something. What do you order at Burger King? I don't like BK. Have you ever lived by yourself? No. Pretty sure I never could with my depression. What brand cell phone do you have? It's just a Tracfone, lol. Did you ever have a ‘security blanket’ when you were younger? Yes, my stuffed moose. What is your lucky charm? I don’t have one. Have you ever been in a wedding? Yeah, I was a bridesmaid in my sister's. Do you believe in yourself? ehhhhhh What time does your dad usually wake up in the morning? I don't live with him, so I can't say for sure. He's a mailman though, so he gets up early, I know. Who was the last person/people you were in a car with? Mom. What movie do you plan on watching next? I've been meaning to watch Jacob's Ladder for like... over a year, lmao. It served as an inspirational work for Silent Hill, and I know its reputation is brilliant, so I really want to see it. I just... don't really watch movies unless I'm in the theater. When something really scares you, what’s your immediate reaction? Gasp or go "what the fuck" or something along those lines. I can almost promise a curse word is coming out of my mouth, lol. Using song lyrics, say something to your most recent ex: I don't wanna get emotional digging through the songs that remind me of her, so pass, lol. You can only watch 4 TV shows for the rest of your life. What are they? Meerkat Manor, That '70s Show, maybe Pokemon even if I don't watch it anymore (it could be like a comfort show if I'm limited to four), aaaaand I think Ginga Densetsu Weed. Do you think it’s possible for a rap song to make you cry? ... Yes??? There are a couple that have for me. Does the idea of having a baby at your age scare you? I'm not having kids, sooo I don't have to worry about this. What band has the power to make you cry by splitting up? None. I'd be really upset if some did, but I wouldn't cry. Who is your favourite famous person who isn’t a singer, actor, or athlete? Well, I WOULD say Mark, but considering he's officially an actor now... guess not, haha. Uhhhh. Put him aside and I guess maybe Bindi Irwin. I'm not sure.

[hanniiesuckle17]

i would like to bless your followers and dash, sooo can you give me a crash course in noir 😊😊

OMG YES OFCCCCCC💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖

OKAY SO HERE IS THE DEAL

NOIR is a nine-member boy group under Luk Factory

(Not really pleased with how they are promoting my boys but imma get over it one day!)

Our fan name is Lumiere (or Lumi) and we don’t have any official colors or a lightstick yet.

Noir debuted on April 9th of 2018. With the mini-album Twenty’s Noir. Their title debut song was Gansta (SUCHA GOOD VIDEO) 

They also had a predebut song called As a Star and it makes me so soft.

Their next comeback is on the 27th (THIS MONDAY!!!!!!) The album is called Up the Sky and the title track is called Lucifer

IM SO FUCKING EXCITED YOU HAVE NO IDEA

MEMBERS 

Shin Seunghoon

Shin Seunghoon is our precious leader!!!! 

(He was what got me into Noir. I saw a video about the best leaders in kpop and I was like)

He is 27 years old. His birthday is May 30th, 1993 (He is a Gemini)

Boy is tallllllllllllllllllllll

like he’s 5′10.

but in pictures by himself he for real looks like he is 6′2

istg he is like 65% legs.

ALSO MAN AS A RIPPED CHEST SORRY BACK TO REGULARLY SCHEDULED NOIRING

He is the leader, main rapper, and also sometimes a vocalist (but the rappers in this group pretty much fo everything)

HE SPITS FIRE when he wants to. 

Really good at freestyling 

He makes mixtapes on youtube on Noir’s channel. (I think he has 5 out now)

He is a college-educated man!!!! (He went to Korean National Open University

He took taekwondo when he was younger

The man trained for 8 years

He and Hoyeon compose and format a lot of their songs with a team of producers from LUK

(I often think he and Chan from skz are really similar.)

Seunghoon is legit a father of 8 soft crackhead kids. istg he is so done with them most of the time

We call him our koala because he looks like one <3

Seunghoon is obsessed with accessories and wearing them to the point where stylists literally have to take them off of him. (I have never not seen picture of him not wearing jewelry. )

he is actually in the military right now and i miss him so fricking much TT

All in all hot boy on screen and soft dad in real life

Kim Yeonkuk

this boy I cant

Kim Yeonkuk. Damn.

he was on Produce 101 season 2

he was eliminated on ep.5 :(

He is the lead dancer and a vocalist

Yeonkuk is 25 years old. His birthday is February 8, 1995 (An Aquarius)

is totally the aegyo king but denies it

he seems cold at first but has a big ass bright personality its so freakin adorable

my personal favorite clip of him is and the boys dancing around on vlive to big bang and him saying fantastic baby (its sounds so cute when he says it)

He is also a 5′10 tall boy

he trained for 3 years

THIS BOY IS SO FREAKING SKINNY SOMEONE PLEASE EGIVE HIM A HAMBURGER OR SOMETHING TAKE HIM TO TACO BELL

not kidding

his waist is so fucking small its scary.

Yeonkuk=stringbean

literally a walking meme.

pause in any interview and he is pretty much gonna give you a memeable face

this boy is so loveable and goofy 

also if this boy doesn't post like 8 photos of him doing something on insta im convinced he thinks that it just didn’t happen

he never posts just one photo its always like 6-8

also I was highkey afraid he was gonna go bald last comeback when they legit turned his hair into smurfs pubes

Lee Junyong

Lee Junyong. When i say i love this man with my whole heart

also 25 years old

his birthday is March 1st 1995 (Pisces)

another 5′10 king

Main vocalist.

he is a former member of INX

his brother is Seungyong from N.CUS

he trained for 4 years

THIS MAN IS TOO ATTRACTIVE FOR THIS EARTH

vocals for days. VOCALS.FOR.DAYS.

Did a cover of BTS’s The Truth Untold with Siha and literally gives me chills.

He has little crooked front teeth so when he sings he has this tiny little breath in some of the words so his voice is even more distinct

BUT LIKE JUNYONG HAS THE CUTEST SMILE EVER (I love his teeth in that's a weird thing to say but i think they are so cute)

he is 1/2 of the Highnote Belting Club

talks. all. the. freaking. time.

he goes live alot

boy is obsessed with Yunsung someone save yunsung from him

total crackhead when not doing real interviews

never fails to make me smile

he is said to be the moodmaker of the group

APPARENTLY HE WAS IN ONE EPISODE OF MY FAVORITE DRAMA AND I HAD NO IDEA

he was in episode 6 of The Liar and His Lover

overall he is just so sweet and funny and its so easy to love him

Nam Yunsung

Yunsung is the Lead vocalist and Visual

24 years old His birthday is August 29, 1996

He is a virgooo

MAN IS 6FT EVEN

lead vocalist and LOOKS IT

he is the king of intense eye contact with the camera 

he looks like legit prince charming

2/2 of Highnote Belting Club

weird af

istg he is the biggest crackhead

very extra. (as you can see in gif)

he calls himself a vampire because of his super pale skin

he trained for 4 years

he raps part time

HE ACTUALLY ENJOYS EXCERCISE

he hides snack between his bed and the wall but apparently daewon and junyong steal them

I think he rooms with junyong? not sure

Someone save him from junyong. boy is going to be smothered to death

ngl their relationship is really cute

he was also in Produce 101 S2 but left bc of health issues.

cutest thing ever and then turns into a devil onstage

a literal puppy

he is big fan of ateez and he and another member actually went to the groups first concert in korea

he is just so precious and weird 

Kim Siheon

oml this smol bean

Kim Siheon god damn

He is 23 years old

Birthday is December 23, 1997 (Capricorn like meeeee)

also 5′10 babyy

Vocalist but also a rapper (he rapped suga’s part in their remix of BTS Fake Love)

LIKES TO BIAS WREKC FREAKING EVERYONE

Beware the Siheon

He has a hot older sister, Hanbit, from a group called Hot Place (Their debut song is called TMI and its pretty good.)

HOTNESS RUNS IN HIS FAMILY

he trained for 5 months

he really likes drawing and does caricatures of his members

he is the eyebrow king

idk his eyesbrows are just.... 

stylists do things to his eyebrows anf it just fucks everyone up

high key has the best fashion sense

others boys willshow up to vlive in like hoodies and he is wearing a freakin casual suit

BOY PLAYS TO WIN’

he is like a boss at every kind of game

claims himself to be sweet like “Heonie”

“Hi! I’m siheon! Heonie Heonie Siheonie!”

he is a litter quieter than the other guys 

BUT he is so funny 

he doesn't like spice on his food for some reason

yeah he's crazy

he trained for 5 years

he's just precious and hot and hot and really hot

Ryu Hoyeon

THIS MAN HAS GIVEN ME SO MANY PROBLEMS

Ryu Hoyeon.

So he is my bias wrecker. Boy climbed up my bias list so freaking fast

He is the main dancer, vocalist, and a rapper (he also composes and arranges with Seunghoon)

He is 22 years old

His birthday is February 6, 1998 (Aquarius)

anontherrrrr 5′10 babbyyyy

cheekkkkkbooonnneeeessss

SHARK BOYY

He says he looks like a shark and i agree

HE HAS A NICE FUCKING TORSO

There was a predebut photo of him half shirtless it was awesome

he was also on Produce 101 S2 

eliminated on ep.5 :(

he trained for 2 years

He, yeonkuk, and seunghoon were in the Japanese tour of the musical Altar Boyz with Teen top’s Niel,2PM’s Chansung, and many others

he has a semi viral video of him

when he was a trainee / on produce 101 he was dancing to nct127 cherry bomb and had an unfortunate but quite hilarious accident (just look it up its funny)

sucks ass at games. every game. ever.

he is a low-key crackhead. he is a calm crackhead lol

VERY ATTRACTIVE

he used to have a youtube channel

you can still see his insta (leaderyoo) its so freaking cute and has predebut stuff of all the boys

he made their entire remix of fake love

he choreographed their song Diamond and also their cover of Taki Taki (which was very hot)

becomes a beast when dancing

he has an original chore to WEight in Gold that is very.......(insert eyebrow wiggle here)

has that dorito torso

(tiny waist and broad shoulders)

also thighs god damn

He is also a HUGE Vixx fanboy

Alter ego is DJ Ironman

He is very close with Siha, Siheon, and Yeonkuk

they turned him into a traffic cone for the Doom Doom comeback

he speaks a little bit of English (just a little bit)

all in all I'm completely in love with this man

Yang Siha 

THIS MAN IS SO FINEEEEEEE (he's my bias btw I have never been so in love with a man other than jisung)

Yang Siha is just uugghghhh god damn

22 year old babyyyy

Birthday is March 9, 1998 (Pisces)

Lil baby is 5′7″ oml i love him

MAIN VOCALIST AND DESERVES IT

he likes watching youtube videos and anime

He trained for 1 year and 1/2

looks good in every freaking hair color

his voice does NOT MATHC HIS FACE 

but not like in a Felix level way

He says his most attractive features are his “feminine features” (he says his unpronounced Adams apple and his small noes and doe eyes

HE HAS SMOL EARSSSS and i lovethem

close with Hoyeon and Siheon

but like his voice though

its so freaking pretty

it gives me chills

everything about him is perfect

he has tiny lips lol

he can play guitar

legit i swear his entire closet is black he rarely wears color

legit EVERYONE LOVES HIM

if someone is hugging anyone in a vlive or something

its siha

its always siha

everyone cuddles siha

i wanna cuddle siha. fuck.

for some reason I've just noticed this

the boy likes to wear long sleeves idk why

he also always seems to wear this one necklace Idk why but its so pretty and i really love that he does idk

he says his favorite song by NOIR is Travel (its also my favorite. its on their debut album and omg his part <3)

he is just so pure oml everything he posts on insta just makes me so soft

he is just so freakin cute and makes me switch lanes so fast

Kim Minhyuk

ooooof this cutie

Kim Minhyuk is something else

i just don't know what he is lol

Lead rapper and lead dancer

22 years old

His birthday is March 18th, 1998 (Pisces)

5′11 boy yes sir

ALSO A COLLEGE EDUCATED MAN

He went to Seoul Arts College

he has an older brother

apparently he cooks in the dorms

he trained for 1 year

he likes to play basketball

he really loves taking photos on his camera

he HATES bugs. its kind of funny ngl

he also is deathly afraid of balloons (i will not apologize for laughing at this one)

He and yunsung loooove ateez. they went to their first concert.

HE SERVES LOOOOKKKSSS

I think he is the most versatile member (look wise) because sometimes its hard to recognize him with each comeback because they change his style

he has these really cute big circle glasses he wear and just uwu

he kinda looks like Simon or Theodore from Alvin in the chipmunks in the best way.

he has a thing about jumping

like whenever he gets excited or happy he just starts jumping

he smiles like sunshineeeeee

even though he is the second youngest a lot of the members say that they go to him for advice 

(probably cause he has permanent hold of one of the 3 braincells noir has)

he looooves girl group dances 

especially twice 

TIKTOK KING 

He owns Noir’s tiktok pretty much. also their insta

he's a precious chipmunk

Kim Daewon

Thhis baby oml

Kim Daewon is the cutest thing since that fluffy little dog whose name i cant remember

20 years old 

Birthday is April 18th, 2000 (Aries)

Lead Dancer, vocalist, maknae

PROTEC THIS BABY BOY

In pictures he looks tall af

actually...

5′7″ but looks like 5′4″

the cutest thing everrrrr

HIS CHEEEKS

the biggest fluffiest cutest cheeks

everything about him is smol except for them thighssss

trained for 1 year

he has one older sister

THE BOY NEEDS MORE LINESSSS LUK FACTORY GIVE HIM MORE LINESSSSSS

he goes off in the chorus of their b-side track “Between” though like fuuuuuuucccckkkk (lowkey one of my favorite songs by them)

literally one of the funniest people you will ever see

extra crackhead energy

makes all the boys laugh

he loves chicken and snacks (gotta keep those cheeks in top shape)

literally the softest boy

he's good at everything i swear

he likes to shimmy.

has a cute butt lol

he talks in tiny

literally the cutest maknae ever oml

I hope this helped guys!!!!! I really hope you can stan noir and support them in their comeback this Monday! I hope this helped @distrikt9 if you need videos or anything feel free to ask! I love sharing my boys. They really are so underrated. I did this so fast ngl. I've never typed so fast

[pearly--rose]

Rules: Answer 30 questions and tag 5 blogs you are contractually obligated to know better.

@wildlingoftarth tagged me!

Name/nickname: Jenni, and very close family friends call me JR.

Gender: Female

Star sign: Cancer

Height: 4′11″ (and 3/4!! that is very important!!)

Birthday: July 3

Time: (assuming this means current time?) 1:40 pm

Favorite bands: HAIM, Joseph, boygenius, Prinze George

Favorite solo artists: Phoebe Bridgers, Julien Baker, Maggie Rogers, Leif Vollebekk 

Song stuck in my head: Nothing at the moment, but the other day I had Gaston from Beauty and the Beast stuck in my head for no discernible reason

Last movie: I think...Bombshell? I noticed it was on Amazon Prime. It was fine.

Last show: I’ve been binging old seasons of America’s Next Top Model 😂It’s good background noise, what can I say

When did I create this blog: 2009...jfc. I made it just before graduating college, when the mass exodus from LJ was happening. I think it took me a while to start using it regularly though.

What do I post: 1% original content, 99% Jaime/Brienne and reblogs of shitpost textposts lol

Last thing googled: where are they now for former antm contestants

Other blogs: @andwhatelse is where I post ~aesthetic~ things, I also have a Sally Mann “fan” tumblr (but I’m thinking of deleting it bc too many creeps have been following and it’s been hard to keep up with blocking them all)

Do I get asks: only when I ask for them

Why I chose my url: It had been my name for literally 10 years, because I’m not creative when it comes to usernames. But when I started posting fic I realized I wanted to keep some separation there, in case anyone I know irl happened to stumble across it. So now it’s a combo of my cat’s name + my name (lol super anonymous, I know)

Following: 198

Followers: 642

Average hours of sleep: 6 (my bedtime/wakeup schedule became completely fucked this year)

Lucky number: I don’t really have one

Instruments: Guitar, piano (not in a loong time though), and I played clarinet as a kid but was moved over to the marimba/xylophone when I got palate expander and couldn’t play without tearing up the reed, lmao

What am I wearing: The comfiest purple sweats, a workout top and sports bra bc I plan on doing some living room exercising...at some point today...

Dream job: Genuinely do not know anymore, I’m so over everything and it’s becoming a problem. I think I’d like to do wedding photography, but it’s such a hard industry to break into. 

Dream trip: Sooo many, but I’d love to road trip though the Swiss/Italian alps

Favorite food: Pizza

Nationality: american, unfortunately

Favorite song: I don’t consistently have a favorite song, so I’ll just go with #1 on my On Repeat playlist, which right now is Faith Healer by Julien Baker

Last book read: It’s been so long since I actually finished a book...I started Station Eleven last year but haven’t picked it up in a while

Top three fictional universes I’d like to live in: (I’m changing this to be fictional aesthetics I’d like to live in) 1. Sofia Coppola’s Marie Antoinette 2. Spike Jonze’s Her 3. Harry Potter (but ugghhhh jk rowling)

Tagging: @perkymcbadsuit @ballroompink @kurikaesu-haru @beesreadbooks @wordybee

[pastagolia]

Songs that make me think of my boyfriend and why -

I don’t expect anyone to read this all the way through I just like making lists and wanna share a little bit of my heart

Caught Up In You by 38 Special - it’s one of those songs where the singer never expected to fall in love and then they met someone who changed their life and dragged them into the eternal bliss and obsession of love, and not to get too personal on main (she says at the beginning of a list of songs that remind her of her favourite person) but that is literally what happened with us. Both of us wanted to be single forever, but after meeting each other we changed our minds and immediately started planning for our future together

I Don’t Wanna Miss a Thing by Aerosmith - I asked him what song reminded him of me, and he sent me this all casual like “yeah I was lowkey thinking of you while listening to this sooo” and then I listened to it and actively cried

Hey, Leonardo by Blessed Union of Souls - see this one is just an amazing song because it’s all about how, as the chorus says, “she likes me for me" - not because of anything like looks or money or anything, but because of personality and the love in the soul, which as an asexual person I relate to real hard

The Boys of Summer by Don Henley - this is technically one of those break up songs that sing about a summer fling and how he thinks about her all those years later, but I love it because 1. it’s a beautiful song and 2. the first time I heard it was in the car with him on the way back from the first thing we went to as a couple. I sat next to him in his car holding his hand shielding my eyes from the setting sun, heading back to his house to eat dinner and play Minecraft, and it was just so amazing

Summer of ‘69 by Bryan Adams - one time we were sitting in the car and he said “bruh this is my favourite song because he says 69 lol” and now I laugh every time I listen to it (I laughed beforehand too but now the humour has a bit of love in it)

Photograph by Def Leppard - he made me listen to it because he liked the guitar solo and it is already a banger, plus it’s kind of  a love song (more like a lust song, but the lust is so easily disguised that I can sing it and still be all lovey without thinking about how this guy is basically wanking to a picture of a girl he likes)

Fat Bottomed Girls by Queen - I showed it to him because I thought he’d like it and apparently it’s one of his favourite songs so we sat in the car together scream singing about fat bottomed girls (and it’s kind of funny because he really did pick himself a fat bottomed girl so it’s funny to hear him singing about it lol)

Mr. Rainmaker by Warrant - this is just the sweetest song, here is the sweetest bit - “Mr. Rainmaker, don’t waste your time, cause I’ve found a girl who is permanent sunshine” - and that makes me smile so bad because he is my permanent sunshine

Share Your Address by Ben Platt - see this song is just a beautiful proclamation of love and the intention of spending the rest of your life with another person, which obviously has me thinking about the loml

Temporary Love by Ben Platt - while we’re on this Ben Platt album, temporary love is what I listen to whenever things get hard because it is about a couple pushing through the struggles of being intimate with each other and sharing their souls - “leaning on somebody’s never easy” - and that is so true, and a reminder that he loves me even when I feel scared to let him

I’m a Believer by Smash Mouth - this is good for a couple reasons 1. Shrek is a meme and half of our relationship is memes and humour 2. it’s another one where OP never thought he’d fall in love

Smooth (ft. Rob Thomas) by Santana - one of the songs that he recommended to me, so I think about him every time I listen

Hooked On a Feeling by Blue Swede - I am in fact hooked on the feeling that he’s in love with me. I was never appreciated by people I wasn’t related to whilst growing up, and the best friend I made in high school ended up just using me, so the idea that someone is actually in love with me and not pretending or using me is so beautiful

Walk This Way by Aerosmith - again, not a love song, but it’s a song that we both love and is a whole ass bop. Plus, when we were in high school, whenever we were trying to motivate our group to stop standing around and start walking we would start singing this, so not only is it a connection between us but it’s also a memory of a time when we were just friends and both secretly crushing on each other

Jack & Diane by John Mellencamp - a song that I got from his playlist that slapssss, and that kind of has some stuff that makes me think about him and about us

Hotel California by Eagles - this is a rock ballad. I am NOT a fan of rock ballads. But this is one of his favourite songs that he sings all the time, so back when I had a crush on him, I sat down and listened to it a billion times until it was stuck in my head and I was forced to like it so that we would have something in common, and now whenever I listen to it I think about him and what I would do for him

Mama I’m Coming Home by Ozzy Osbourne - this is another rock ballad but it’s one of his favourite songs so I conditioned myself to like it and now I love it and it makes me really happy, so particularly when the syncopated guitar comes in I think about him (no reason for the placement, I guess that’s just when I realised the song kind of went hard)

Dr. Feelgood by Motley Crue - my music taste is heavier metal and more exciting music (Black Veil Brides, Motley Crue, Metallica, Warrant, ACDC, etc) and his music taste is more chill classic rock (Queen, John Mellencamp, Aerosmith, Def Leppard, etc). I like a lot of his music - I’ll listen to pretty much anything as long as I can bop to it (that’s why I don’t like ballads) - but he doesn’t really like my harder stuff. This is one of the songs he recently admitted to liking, along with Enter Sandman by Metallica, so now I think about him when I hear them

then there’s a whole list of songs that I got from his playlist that are actual bops and I listen to mostly because I like them (but like a little bit of him still pops up when I listen), and LOTS of songs that I can picture us dancing to together in the car, screaming the lyrics and dancing and laughing together.

honestly I think what we’ve learned from this post is that I am in love with him and everything makes me think about him.

anywho, if you actually read all the way through this, hi I love you and I hope you will have/are having an amazing day. thanks for humouring me and letting me geek out about the one person in this world who chose to love me and has continued to choose to love me every single day

I literally cannot stop talking posting typing thinking about it and about him, I know it’s unhealthy to be obsessed, and honestly I don’t think I am obsessed, but you have no idea how crazy it is to me that there is someone in this world who picked me. out of everyone else in the world. he had a crush on the prettiest most talented girl in the whole school, and she liked him back, but he chose me. and he keeps picking me. every day he wakes up and sends me memes and tells me he loves me and takes as much time as possible out of his week to call me and thinks about me all day and tries his best for me. and that is crazy. I spent most of my life being told that the only reason I existed was to make other people happy and my worth was determined by how I let people use me and that people loved me not because of who I am but because of what I can do for them. so the fact that there is someone in this world who lets me be me in all my needy attention-whoring glory and loves me because of it shakes me to the core every single time I think about it. 

and I can’t stop talking about it, I wanna tell everyone that stands still that someone is in love with me and chose me and doesn’t think that I’m annoying and thinks that I’m worth it just because I exist and not because of what I can do for him and I just wanna tell everyone everywhere that HE LOVES ME

okay that’s it, ya girl is gonna go to bed - if you couldn’t tell I sorely need it. sleep well, dear friends, and remember that life is beautiful, you are beautiful and worth it, and that no matter what kind of love you want - platonic, romantic, sexual - it is there for you and it will be more amazing than anything you can dream of

[your-dearest-antego]

Tagged by @errorpaige

Rules: Answer 30 questions and tag 20 blogs you want to know better whoever you like!

1. Name/Nickname: Antego its a personal name and i get it sounds weird so most folks just call me Ant or Anty and i love it!

3. Star sign: Leo

4. Height: 6′

5. Time: 8:11pm (local time)

6. Birthday: right at the end of summer

7. Favorite Band: oof favorites are a hard thing for me bc my interests and obsessions are always changing and im seriously blanking on any band that i could call a favorite?? sorryy

8. Favorite Solo Artist: easier pick this time im going with Jacob Collier. That dude is on another level in terms of how advanced he is in music theory

9. Song Stuck in My Head:  My Life is Better With You by Montaigne its so catchy and full of love

10. Last Movie: i did an annual rewatch of lord of the rings and the hobbit

11. Last Show: just watched the new episodes of dc super hero girls its such a cute show and doesn’t require a lot of emotional investment so was perfect to have on while doing chores

12. When I Created This Blog: emmm 6? 7? 8 years ago? i wasn’t blogging much in the beginning so i really do not remember

13. What I Post: shitposts, aesthetics, cat, dogs and activist stuff

14. Last Thing I Googled: “MisFire” she is this suuuuper awesome beatboxer with a really hypnotic rhythm - if you’re into that sort of thing lol

15. Other Blogs: this is my only tumblr blog but i do have an amateur photography blog thing on insta

16. Do I get asks: mmm pretty rarely idk if im all that interesting to get asked stuff tbh

17. Why I Chose My URL: idk it sounded kind of cute and my last url was self deprecating and i am trying to do that less

18. Following: 252 

19. Followers: 563 but pretty sure there are lots of porn bots in there that i am too lazy to do anything about

20. Average Hours of Sleep: i’ve had chronic insomnia since puberty but i manage it with sleep aides and get usually 8 hours of light sleep :/

21. Lucky Number: the number 3 has never done me dirty

22. Instruments: piano, ukulele, electric guitar, acoustic guitar i am all extremely mediocre at playing and i also have a couple violins that stare at me in the corner that im sooo intimidated by to start playing

23. What I Am Wearing: a long hoody and these baggy harem pants over these cool leggings

24. Dream Job: full time music producer maybe? ttrpg actual play story telling? one or both of those

25. Dream Trip: i want to travel literally everywhere but top 3 would probably be ireland, tokyo and titan, one of saturns moons (you can basically FLY there)

26. Favourite Food: killing me with this faves... lol ill go Asian in general but im very white so you can tempt me with basically all cheese

27. Nationality: USA

28. Favourite Song: None currently...

29. Last Book I Read: currently reading Stone Butch Blues (highly recommended) and Homer translated by Emily Wilson (also recommend)

30. Top 3 fictional universes I would love to live in: (assuming i get to participate in the cool stuff in these universes) sense8, the owl house and pokemon. oh to grow old on my poke ranch with my mons. just vibing...

Thank you for asking! I will tag @join-me-in-the=bog @adobabe @wellwrittenword @kattherippa @redwoodfox @cleverbabygh0ul @chloe-the-fool @anna-da-gamer @shit-man-imreally-gay @mightybeaujester @dyslexicorn

If I haven’t tagged you feel free to pick this up on your own! And if I did tag you then no pressure!

[antonradke-music]

DJ’s: YOU AREN’T PRODUCERS. TAKE THAT WORD OUT OF YOUR SOCIAL BIOS.

Possibly controversial opinion:

TLDR: DJ's: If you're not posting original music, edits, remixes, or anything of the sort. Please don't put "producer" in your SoundCloud bio. It's alot like that guy in High School who would say "Yea man I play guitar, I shred like, all the time" then you hand him a guitar and he just starts goin ham with a poorly executed and under-practiced "Smoke on the Water" or "Enter Sandman" opening riff. On repeat. The entire time he plays. Except with DJ/Producers you can't just hand someone a laptop to "hear them shred on a DAW" so its alot easier to get away with in our EDM world.

FULL RANT: There is a huge difference between "DJ" and "Producer" and there isn't a single thing wrong with just being a "DJ" and not both. People still need and want DJ mixes. There's zero shame in admitting that you don't, or don't know how to, produce music.

  It only bugs me (and to be clear, it doesn't even bug me all that much) coz producers like myself and my friends spend countless hours learning and mastering our craft, so that title of "producer" is somewhat earned in my opinion. You can't just download a DAW and say "I'm a producer" if you've never once truly used it.

  Producers create. DJ's mix. If your SC page is only mixes, you're a DJ. If your SC page contains original content/music you created yourself, then there's nothing wrong with adding that "producer" bit in your bio. Even if what you're posting is ID's, WIPs, ideas, bootlegs, etc. It doesn't need to be fully finished and mastered music.  If you created it, you produced it, you are a producer on some level (beginner/intermediate/TUNE GOD, etc)

If you're a DJ now, and are just now learning to produce, just wait until you start posting/uploading your tunes. THEN add that fabled "producer" title to your socials.

  I'm also not alone. Myself and several of my producer friends have expressed at least some frustration towards the DJ's that both call themselves a producer in their socials and even (sometimes) out in public. It can definitely be a "wtf" moment (and this has literally happened to me before) when you are talking to someone, be it an Entertainment/Booking manager or a bigger DJ, telling them about your music and your work. Then another DJ shows up and starts doing the same. But you know that person, and you're aware of the fact that they've never made a tune or have even tried to start learning.

  Now there's the possibility that someone who's never worked on tunes in their life could get the credit or booking that you were working so hard for, and they didn't spend a minute doing the same. They just happen to be VERY good at talking to promoters, knowing what they want to hear, and manipulating the truth to fit a narrative that will get them hired or booked. And this has happened to me. They ended up getting a better time slot than me as they grossly exaggerated their SoundCloud stats, and played a song to the promoter by an underground artist claiming that it was their own. I kept my mouth shut. I should have spoken up, but I didn't think his ploy would work and I was new to that particular local scene, I wanted to avoid burning bridges or looking salty/bad. His set ended up being really rough, he'd lied about knowing CDJ gear (he didn't), spent an hour trainwrecking almost every transition, the dance floor was empty by the end of his set, he left the venue in a hurry afterwards and I've never seen him since.

Unfortunately it's not like many local event managers actually care. They just want a good DJ, and they'll often believe you if you tell them you're more than just a DJ. They likely don't have a reason to doubt you, and often don't care enough to check the validity of those claims. Or maybe they don't even know the difference between "DJ" and "Producer"

So in in summary: DJ's. You're not producers. Not unless you make your own music/Unless you are a creator. And just for the record, opening a DAW, playing with Serum for a few minutes, and tossing a few loops into a bus/channel doesn't count. Take the time to learn properly how to write progressions/melodies, program sequences, mix-down your track elements, structure your tune and bonus points for doing it all without presets (learn sound design) and without loops (learn drum & pattern sequencing) If you have that DAW installed, you're already sooo much farther ahead than tons of others in your position. Hit up YouTube for some tutorials and you're on your way! 

In Conclusion: Please. Please. PLEASE don't take credit for the kind of work producers spend up to 10-15 hours a track doing (my average time to finish a song entirely). You could cost a talented soul a gig or time slot they've been busting their asses for for years. There really isn't anything wrong with being JUST a DJ. Its a good thing, and still a valid and useful skillset with tons of work/gig opportunities. I played plenty of gigs before I really started calling myself a "producer". You may not get the best timeslots as compared to producers. But be honest with yourself, you could be a fantastic DJ, but who most deserves good timeslots at events? The guys with something to promote. A product to offer. And that product is their creative content/music/whatever. And that guy could be you, you just need to take the time to learn and work hard at honing your craft and skillsets.

  Soooo take "producer" out of your bio if all you're posting is mixes and mashups. And if your bio says it, or you identify as a Producer, you better expect me to fuckin test you on it cause I will. Immediately. And if you don’t pull a home made, non-plagiarizing, ORIGINAL piece of creative expression/content out of your ass in that very moment then I swear to Cthulhu I will perform a social/career crucifixion (alot like “social/career suicide” except I do it to you) on you. Your ‘music career’ ends right there on the spot, ESPECIALLY if you play some underground artist and act like its your music and take credit for it. That’s just so far from ok. And I WILL notice. I was an underground non commercial radio DJ for over 2 years. and a lifelong enthusiast all around. Trust me. I will know. So just be honest with yourself, and others. Please, and thank you.

           - Signed, bedroom producers the world over.

PS - I’m SERIOUS guys. I won't stay silent next time. If I see a DJ try to take credit for another artists work (especially while talking to promoters, and especially taking credit for underground artists work) I will shut that shit down instantly. I will ensure they're instacancelled on the spot and won't play a gig in that area ever again. Plagiarism is NOT COOL. Don't plagiarize. Seriously. You will never have a career in music if you make Plagiarism a part of your “strategy for success” in the music industry. And I will personally work towards ensuring that. (example: I still to this day convert people to the cancellation of DJ Bl3nd. That POS blatantly ripped off so many artists, and is a perfect PERFECT example of a DJ claiming to be a producer. But isn’t. AND he used plagiarism + ghost producers COMBINED to make it seem like he was a producer) I don’t care if you do end up learning to produce after the fact and start making decent tunes.. If you plagiarize and try to use it to advance your career, I will do everything I can to stop you. For ever. 

P.P.S. - For those of you DJ's who are learning to produce, don't take any offense to this rant its not directed at you guys, and please PLEASE don't get discouraged. You're likely not even applicable to this rant as you're actually working towards the title. So let me help you in that, below this text I'll be linking a few awesome YouTube producer channels who upload educational music/producer content. As well as some links to great sample/drum kits and more useful tools to help in your learning curve. I am also always available for producing tips and advice, just send me a direct message or comment on this post and I'll give you the best answer from my own experience/abilities/knowledge. Thanks for taking the time to read this ridiculous and stupidly long rant. I hope you can see where I’m coming from. And I’m sure many actual producers can agree with a lot of my points and reasoning. Have a good one. Peep my tunes if you have some time. Peace and deuces to all! -Anton Radke

www.soundcloud.com/antonradke www.facebook.com/antonradkemusic booking/collabs/commissions/general inquiries/demos: antonradkemusic@gmail.com

Resources and tools for learning producers: Some production education channels on YouTube that I highly recommend:

Dylan Tallchief has some fantastic tutorials for many different EDM genres which cover more than just production. He talks in depth about music theory, sound design. All of it. He shows how to use both Ableton and FL Studio. HIGHLY RECOMMMEND this channel:

https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCIu2Fj4x_VMn2dgSB1bFyQA

For rap/hip-hop producers, I recommend watching videos made by these two gentlemen: 

Praxi Plays covers tons of genres/sub genres, and different styles of commercial, and less than commercial rap/hip hop music. He teaches using FL Studio:

https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCAE7Doxo5WQRjLPz7JYa7Fw If you prefer darker, more underground rap music, or just less than commercial stuff in general, Based Gutta covers tons of styles of rap beats from the underground rap culture. He’s great, and also pretty hilarious. Also uses FL Studio. Oh and he does Lo-Fi stuff a whole lot as well:

https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCTrrlfsv-5IBQ1SgPBawT3w

COMPOSERILY is also a good one. But a lot less serious. His videos are definitely more parody and satire than anything, but there’s still lots you can learn from watching him. Tons of useful stuff in his videos. He also does both Ableton and FL Studio depending on the song/artist he’s trying to sound like.

https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC8Ujq8PBm0MWraaXd8MsIAQ

For drums and other samples, I highly recommend getting a Splice Account. Its incredible So many options! And you can download individual sounds. You don’t have to download an entire sample pack if you just want one kick drum that it happens to have which is great. A good brokeboi alternative would be Looperman. Its basically a discount/Wal-Mart level “Splice” style service but free.

www.Splice.com

www.looperman.com

Some useful sample kits I recommend getting for the sake of drum sequencing/programming:

XFER Pack by Steve Duda and deadmau5 (great for house and 4/4 edm genres) 

BIGHEAD Sample Pack by BigHead (available on Splice) [great for trap/rap/hiphop] 

literally ANY vengeance or cymatics sample pack will also be a great choice for practically any type of bass music. Face it. Bass music drums are boring and are all almost IDENTICAL from song to song (with the exception of the kick drum) so any Vengeance or Cymatics dubstep sample kit will do you justice here.

VSTs to consider: EDM: Sylenth1 (must have), Razor (underrated), Massive, Serum (must have), U-He Diva, Nexus (overrated but useful), Dblue Glitch, DBlue Tapestop, Engineers Filter (free, amazing Equalizer. deadmau5 approved), CamelCrusher, OTT (overrated but useful), Cthulhu (MIDI sequencer programmed by deadmau5, hella cool but confusing)

Rap Music VSTs to consider: Omnisphere. that’s it. I’m not kidding. A talented producer armed with Omnisphere, and a decent drum sample kit, who is very good at sampling and writing melody/progression can create THOUSANDS of Grammy worthy rap/trap beats without even once reusing an Omnisphere preset.  Its like Nexus. Except it truly doesn’t suck, and is worth the absurd price tag.

-Anton Radke  www.soundcloud.com/antonradke www.facebook.com/antonradkemusic booking/collabs/commissions/general inquiries/demos: antonradkemusic@gmail.com

[farharbour]

tagged by: @leafeonb! thank youu 🤧💖

name: ash

zodiac: virgo 

height: 5′2.. manlet rights!

last movie i watched: i literally could not tell you lol.. i have to be in the right mood to watch movies and i really haven’t been lately!

last thing i searched: hunter hunter 2011 movie (i.. wanted to figure out when in the story it took place.. that’s it.. hehe.....)

favourite musician: john “mountain goat” darnielle

song stuck in my head: kingdom come by red velvet.. sry for kpop on main but i’ve been absolutely loving them lately

do i get asks: sometimes! less so lately though but idm really, i’ve been much more busy offline recently than i have been in months past and i hope that my sporadic nature isn’t like a deterent to anyone trying to talk to me

following: 448

amount of sleep: i try to shoot for 8h but on weekdays it can be as low as 3h and on weekends as high as 11h 

lucky number: 23

what i’m wearing: pjs.. which today consists of a big comfort sweatshirt and plaid shorts

dream job: tbh i’m already working on on achieving my biggest dream job (choir teacher) but.. being a conductor or opera singer are up there too...

dream trip: i’ve been dreaming of meeting iuri for sooo long so i’d want to go to brazil and see him!!

favourite food: grilled cheese & tomato soup, the ultimate comfort food

play an instrument?: i play guitar, bass guitar, a little bit of ukelele/violin/piano, and i sing! and i guess i also play the taiko drum hehe..

languages: english fluently, spanish conversationally at best, and i know a bit of asl, french, and japanese

random fact: i can fit my entire fist in my mouth 🤭

describe your aesthetic: you know that feeling where you’re on the highway on a warm summer afternoon, windows down, in the company of friends? or that feeling of a winter morning just after it snows and everything is perfectly undisturbed and quiet and still? or when you catch yourself doing something mundane like washing the dishes and something nostalgic and lovely is playing on the radio and you suddenly think to yourself out of nowhere that this moment in time is perfect and precious and you were made to be here and you find such comfort in being alive? yeah. That.

i’ll tag: anyone who wants to do this!!

[kizzington]

“Answer these questions then tag 20 blogs you’d like to know better!”

Thank you @trickyloveaffair for tagging me !! I haven't been tagged in 74 years lmaoo I forgot these things existed. 

—————————————

Nicknames: Kizzy, Quirky (also my brother & I call each other Wee Guy sometimes as an inside joke but I don't think that counts lmaoo) 

Zodiac: Sagittarius 

Height: 5′4″

Time: 22:01

Favourite band/artist: Queen, Oasis, CATB, Harry Styles, Kasabian, Shawn Mendes (& literally hundreds more wow)

Song stuck in my head: 3 Nights - Dominic Fike

Last movie I saw: After n now I fancy Josephine Langford wow

Last thing I googled: an online clothing shop my Mam wanted to me to buy something from for her

Other blogs: @kingmendes-styles (if you like things like Harry Styles, 5SOS, & Shawn Mendes you should follow me there lmao) & @justbangingtunes (which is my music blog that I need to update bc it has been a while)

Do I get asks: nah lol

Why I chose this username: it’s a play on my nickname (Kizzy) & one of my fave bands (Kasabian)

Following: 191

Average amount of sleep: differs depending but usually about 9 hours

What I’m wearing: huge ass baggy burgundy top & black joggers

Dream job: rockstar lmaoo

Dream trip: Italy !! Also recently I've been really wanting to go to Canada like specifically Vancouver bc it looks sooo pretty & also Toronto bc it seems v cool

Favourite food: Sunday roast & also curry goat & rice n peas  

Play any instruments: guitar a lil bit

Hair colour: dark brown 

Languages you speak: just English cuz I'm basic

Most iconic song: Bohemian Rhapsody - Queen

Random fact: I’m going to see Ariana Grande live in less than 2 months n I am not emotionally ready lmaooo

Describe yourself as aesthetic things: (This is a really hard thing to do but I will try my best) full moon on a clear night, actually just literally anything to do with space, blue fairy lights, sunflowers, clouds, super over the top cheekbone highlighter, winger eyeliner, all black outfits, chunky heeled boots (preferably black n starry), red roses, long matte black nails, nose ring piercing, neon signs, iced caramel frappuccino, pins/badges plastered all over my backpack, being barefoot, the sound of water (particularly waves), anything yellow

I tag: @besidetheseasiderendezvous @26bottlemen @juslikeheaven-b @boulevardsaint-laurent @he-has-my-favourite-face @mmelodyj @mum-thinks-im-cool

(feel free to pass of course)