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drifttosleep · 4 years ago

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[ My Jonas Brothers : Chasing Happiness Experience ]

introduction: if you know me, you know how much if a Jonas Brothers fan i am. yes, the first band i ever REALLY got into was The Beatles. but the Jonas Brothers was a boyband i really did fall in love with. we all had that one band from our childhood that switched everything up. mine were the Jonas Brothers. the way the directioners loved One Direction was my love for the Jonas Brothers. when i say “the boys,” i mean Nick, Kevin, and Joe. they’re my “the boys.” if that makes sense.

history: i remember the day i got into them. i was 10 years old and it was during the summertime. i had just finished watching ‘taking 5.’ a movie about the click five. the girls in the movie had posters and cut outs of the click five on their wall from posters and magazines. at that age, i was already collecting TigerBeat, Popstar!, J-14 magazines. i was too plugged in to the pop culture and the teeny bopper life. my dad was supportive. i was somewhat, inspired, when i watched that movie and checked out my magazines. i found the jonas brothers. i knew OF them and the song SOS and When You Look Me In The Eyes but nothing else. i had a personal computer in my room back then and newly plugged in internet connection. it started with music videos, and then the stupid videos they had on their yt channel, and i just couldn’t stop watching their videos. i watched all their live chats and interviews. i fell in love LIKE THAT. it was the first i ever obsessed about a boyband like this. a boyband in MY LEAGUE, you know what i mean? i obsessed over hannah montana and lizzie mcguire. but it wasn’t LIKE THIS. i grabbed my magazines and starting taping the Jonas posters on the walls. my routine was to watch all their videos everyday. i even went as far as reading fanfiction on youtube. YES. fanfiction USED to be on YOUTUBE. and that’s when crushes began. my bias was joe, at first, of course. then i slowly crept onto liking nick more. until he was my ACTUAL favorite. nick was my first love, i’m claiming it. the boy had me feeling ALL SORTS OF THINGS. the boy had me WRITING AT 11.

influence: they were a huge influence on me. other than taylor swift and my dad getting me to pick up a guitar and learning how to play it, the Jonas Brothers wanted me to fulfill the dream. their influence on me was HUGE. it was so big that they were my first fashion icons. i broke gender stereotypes (at least in my circle) at the age of 11, you guys. i wore skinny jeans, converse, collared shirts and neckties all the time. they had me wearing denim and corduroy and my parents were so into me being into fashion at that age cause they were all about that in their youth. i mastered dressing like a guy at the age of 11. it just became a thing growing up. cause that’s where i’m most comfortable. i remember when the JONAS show came out on disney channel and the first episode was of nick having a love interest, i cried.

other facts:

i collected all kinds of jonas brothers paraphernelia as a child.

other than the magazines, i had merch. i remember begging my mom to get me jonas brothers merch from their actual website. when she finally gave in, i was ecstatic.

i had a jonas brothers t shirt and a necklace (it was a guitar pick with their logo on it)

i also had a jonas brothers mp3 player that i bought when i was in tampa.

i’ve been to their first concert in the philippines. I REMEMBER HOW I TOLD MY PARENTS. i ran to them and said “THE JONAS BROTHERS ARE COMING HERE” and i didn’t even have to ask cause they already knew.

my bedroom walls were FILLED with their posters. i had over 150 posters on my walls.

i cut out their photos from magazines and covered my notebooks and pens with them. i sold a couple at school, too.

you caNT BELIEVE HOW MUCH I FREAKED OUT WHEN I FOUND OUT ABOUT CAMP ROCK. when it came out in the states, my dad bought a copy of the dvd and i was SO SO SO EXCITED. that’s why i love home made spaghetti so much because it was the meal i was eating when i watched camp rock in my old bedroom for the first time. i squealed half the time.

them being christian played such a big part in my life because my mom was a strict-ass hardcore christian. and since they wore purity rings, my mom got me a purity ring, too. at 11. which now, seems rather stupid. for me, at least.

nick jonas & the administration is still one of my favorite albums. HE REALLY DO BE MAKIN ME FEEL SOME TYPE OF WAY. for real though.

i really watched Married To Jonas, Kevin and Danielle’s reality show. it was NOT great but i watched it.

i even watched some of nick’s movies and i didn’t like any of them really but i enJOYED NICK’S SCREEN TIME

i did not really stray away from loving them. but i did turn into a teenager. i got into other things and gained a different circle of friends. it was different, okay? i couldn’t just be in love with a rock star anymore. HAHAHA. there were real life boys i kissed now. but still, i did not obsess over anything like that ever again.

the break up: i was in high school when they broke up. and even if i had not been keeping tabs on them and watching their every release, i cried really really fucking hard when they announced their break up. i cried so hard that i missed school that day. i was heart broken. and it might not make sense because they are brothers and they’ll really ~never~ break up, it still hurt.

when i found out about Chasing Happiness, i was stoked. of course, i already knew they had returned back together as the Jonas Brothers. after all the experimenting with other things, they really did return to their roots.

reaction about chasing happiness:

oh my GOD

BABY JONAS BROTHERS :(

FUCK. 6 MINUTES INTRO PLAYING

baby nick in les mis :(

okAY SO IM NOT THE ONLY ONE WITH A BAD EXPERIENCE WITH THE CHRISTIAN COMMUNITY

okay so the purity rings were a fucking joke i dont feel so guilty about it anymore

niley :( lowkey cried to niley at a young age but whatever

fuCK EVERYONE WHO MADE FUN OF KEVIN. HE’S AMAZING

please be mine :(

crying

joe and nick making fun of kevin on the phone with danielle

joe calling danielle “kevin’s future wife” :(

JUST FRIENDS :(

THE NICK J SHOW

camp rock :(

more crying really

YEAR 3000 :(

okay so basically, it was a ride of emotions.

it really was though. i also felt like i time travelled. LITERALLY. it felt like i was in my old room again watching the Jonas Brothers on old YouTube. you know. before google bought the damn thing. but for real, it felt that way. it felt like i was reconnecting with my old self, too. the 10 year old me.

no, wait. even better. it felt like i was reuniting with old friends. the scene when the 3 of them were just drinking and reminiscing and confessing about the old times was so intimate that i felt like i was there. everything they talked about (except for hating each other and how they ACTUALLY broke up), i knew about. they were my whole life back then, really. it really felt like a reunion. like them getting back together meant we were getting back together. the love for the Jonas Brothers. my fangirling over them. god, it sounds so cheesy when i say it out loud. but it really does feel like that.

it was so familiar and so foreign to me at the same time. they talked about everything they used to never talk about back then. they just let it out in the open, really. and i saw how much they’ve grown. and i saw how much i’ve grown. how i am far from who i was at 10 years old.

but when they sang ‘please be mine’ along with the old video of them singing it, i felt myself reconnecting with my younger self. i felt her smile at me and hold my hand telling me that the good will always resurface. and fuck yeah, i got that out of the Jonas Brothers. they’re the part of me that remains innocent. they’re a part of me that remains untouched and untampered with. because my heart was whole when i loved them first. and i think it’ll remain that way.

it hit me harder than i thought it would. and i knew it would hit me. the documentary, i mean. it was beautiful. downright, beautiful. they’re a huge part of who i am today. and i am so so so proud of that.

#honey

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elenamcwrites · 5 years ago

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folklore - a reading

If you’re a swiftie (officially not capitalized now), like me, you’ve probably been experiencing the mystical reverb and spiritual reckoning that is folklore. You’ve also probably been reading plenty of reviews and analysis articles--there are some stellar articles out there already.

Listening to the album is like lying in a meadow over the course of a summer day, afternoon thunderstorm, and the harsh sunset that comes afterwards, spiraling through memories and contemplation. It’s the best of the worst feelings you’ll ever have, and you can’t stop.

So, compulsively, I had to share my own interpretations and thoughts as I listen to the album again for the 7th time.

the 1 - Starting out with just piano, and then turning into what feels like a casual bop, the attitude of this song starts out very ‘I Forgot That You Existed’. And we hold onto that cavalier, ‘oh well’ attitude until... UNTIL. “If my wishes came true, it would’ve been you.” That line starts the slow ache that builds through the end of the track and makes this song much more more layered and complex than the first song of Lover. Perhaps this is a more honest version of the same feeling. Swift digs deep into that nostalgic feeling, letting us vibe to the wistful wishing at the same time. And of course, there is foreshadowing in the lyrics--film, graves, rose, chosen-family, painting. All of these reappear later on in various songs on the album, and some have been themes from earlier albums, too (especially graves).

Highlight lyric: “In my defense I have none // for digging up the grave another time.”

cardigan - We start with a beat that sounds reminiscent of “high heels on cobblestones,” and it emphasizes this early imagery. Being young is one of the major themes of this song, even though it’s also part of the triptych of songs about a love triangle. The nostalgia feels more specific to young love generally than to the specific lover, asking us to wonder why we judge the young perspective so harshly. The song is an anthem to how much she knew about love, including the pain of it, despite what people say. Swift has shown a special appreciation for the wisdom and raw experience of youth, and this song is another classic defense of the teenage experience. The metaphors in this song are classic Swift, and the structure of this song is reminiscent of ‘All Too Well’--the chorus lyrics change just a bit each time, and we get a powerful, gut-punch verse at the end.

Highlight lyric: “I knew you’d haunt all of my what-ifs // the smoke would hang around this long // cause I knew everything when I was young.”

the last great american dynasty - ‘The Man’ was probably Swift’s first real feminist anthem, directly stating how sexism affects her career and the perception people have of her. But this song gets at feminism from another perspective. First of all, she’s telling the story of Rebekah Harkness, who was the heiress that lived in her Rhode Island mansion before her. She was a trouble-maker in her town, blamed for her husband’s death and for ruining the calm status quo of the old money neighborhood. It’s completely apparent that Swift relates to this experience, and she likely knew some of this story before she purchased her home. In telling the story of a powerful, interesting woman, Taylor is rebelling against the patriarchy in a slightly subtler way than her previous songs--though she still makes her point pretty clear. Swift cares about the herstory of her home, and she’s made this story iconic by including it on her album. It’s like she took the idea of ‘Starlight,’ but instead of retelling a happy love story, she used her powers for an even more important tale. Now, there are also two potential connections to note: Rebekah also went by Betty, and her maiden name was West. Just remember that. And of course, the theme of the mad woman returns later as well.

Highlight lyric: “who knows if I never showed up what would have been // there goes the most shameless woman this town has ever seen // she had a marvelous time ruining everything.”

exile - I like to imagine this song as the follow up to ‘The Last Time,’ from Red. Both are duets, and they both have relatively simple, but strong chords as the primary musical backdrop. Where ‘The Last Time’ depicts a relationship at the cusp, moments before their final conversation, ‘exile’ is post break-up. She’s out with someone new, and we understand this is an unspoken conversation across a room. And the vibe of the songs fit with this progression perfectly. ‘The Last Time’ feels like anxious desperation, but exile feels heavy and depressingly final. We revisit the film motif, and there’s some potential connection to the archived ‘If This Was A Movie’. Now, is that intentional, or does Swift just really like movie imagery? Does it matter? The build in this song is arguably the best on the album, which I think is partly due to the style of the musicality, and partly because it’s helpful to have a lower voice to mix it up. This song sounds the least ‘Swift-esque’ to me--reminds me of Damien Rice most of all--but it still fits beautifully into the album. Also, lots of callbacks in here--town and crown are used a LOT in her prior albums. A few examples: “You traded your baseball cap for a crown” in ‘Long Live’, “They took the crown but it's alright” in ‘Call it What You Want,’ “Staring out the window like I’m not your favorite town” in ‘False God.’ Now, again, these could just be words that she loves to use (they also rhyme with a lot), or there could be some deeper connections. I’m guessing it’s somewhere in the middle.

highlight lyric: “second, third, and hundredth chances // balancin' on breaking branches // those eyes add insult to injury”

my tears ricochet - I’ll admit this song had to grow on me a little bit. Why? Well, I don’t love revenge-ballads. But, this is much more complex than LWYMMD, and like the rest of the album, it centers the more vulnerable side of her anger. This song is 100% about Big Machine Records and Scooter Braun. The funeral is for her--or the version of herself that died just before Reputation--and she is back as a ghost (or another version of herself) to haunt those who caused her death. It’s slow, moody, haunted... Everything you want from a bitter funeral march. The best part of this song is that she doesn’t solely pass blame. She shows off her self-awareness, which has become more common in all her music since 1989, but still very clearly places responsibility on Scooter for her ‘stolen lullabies’ (i.e. her masters). Swift claims this song is about young love gone wrong--but, death is a pretty intense metaphor, and given that she blatantly used it (for the first, and maybe only time?) to talk about her career, I don’t think anyone is buying it.

highlight lyric: “I didn’t have it in myself to go with grace // and you’re the hero flying around saving face”

mirrorball - Maybe I’m just a biased toward romantic and nostalgic songs, because I don’t love this one either. (I’m sorry!) But, here’s what I’ll say: this song is still exquisite. It reminds me of the reverb-radio-vibe of the late 80s songs, but with the astral, saccharine flavor of the rest of the album. If you condensed the Miss Americana documentary into a song, this would be it. A reflection (get it?) of fame and her desire to be everything to everyone--to be well liked, to be the center of attention. The coolest thing about ‘mirrorball,’ to me, is that she hasn’t written a song quite like this before. It’s sort of a manic-pixie-dream-girl version of herself. Swift is telling us that she knows who she is, and that comes with seeing the less ‘pretty’ side.

highlight lyric: “I’m still a believer, but I don’t know why // I’ve never been a natural, all I do is try, try try.”

seven - Can you say haunting innocence? This is a great song for half-attentive listening in the sun, and it could almost be a lullaby. In Swift-lore, the theme of childhood shows up every so often, like in ‘Mary’s Song,’ ‘The Best Day,’ ‘It’s Nice to Have a Friend,’ and ‘Christmas Tree Farm.’ This one is definitely the most dreamy, and it is also tinged with that darkness that consistently underlies all the tracks on this album--“Are there still beautiful things?” Imagine a sepia filter, and that’s kind of what this song embodies. Some fans have wondered about this song as a possible hint to bisexuality and/or relationships with women in general. (See Kaylor fan theories if you want to dive deep.) I can see this--the childhood friend has braids, which could imply she’s a little girl, and they ‘hide in the closet’. However, it seems more likely to me that this is coincidence. Lots of kids play in their closets, and if the song is about the friend’s father being angry all the time (and maybe abusive?) hiding in the closet also makes literal sense. I think the imagery in this song is some of my favorite on this album.

Another interesting point that I haven’t seen discussed so far is that Swift names this song ‘seven’ spelled out, yet uses the number ‘1′ in the first track title. The only other track she uses numbers in the name is ‘22′, which is about being 22. So, she could be trying to push past the idea that ‘seven’ is just about being 7 years old--though I do think it’s about that, too. She could also be intentionally connecting ‘the 1′ to ‘22′ in some way. They are both a similar vibe, and perhaps they even refer to the same time period in her life. If we go with that theory, who was T dating at 22? The most likely candidate for that timeframe is Conor Kennedy, which was sort of short-lived, and didn’t seem to end with as much fire as many of her break-ups. So, it’s possible that it’s about him. Or, maybe she just wanted to make sure we knew that ‘the 1′ was a concept she doesn’t really believe in anyway, and didn’t want to grant it the full word ‘one’. Will we ever know?

highlight lyric: “Before I learned civility // I used to scream // Ferociously // Any time I wanted”

august - It seems clear to me that this is the second song in the love-triangle narrative. I’ve heard people claim this is ‘illicit affairs’, but those people obviously haven’t looked at the lyrics. The narrator says ‘James, get in the car,’ which is directly connected to the lyrics in ‘betty.’ But, even without that obvious link, the style of august fits in with the stylistic choices of ‘cardigan’ and ‘betty’. All three have strong instrumental tracks complementing the vocals, soft harmonies, and lots of wistful lyrics. ‘illicit affairs’ cuts much sharper and deeper, but more on that later. Combining the dreamy vibes of ‘seven’ with the slight bop of ‘the 1′, this track is sticky--easy to get stuck in your head. The only thing I wonder about this song is how old this narrator is meant to be. They’re drinking wine, and she references going ‘back to school,’ which sort of feels like a reference to the college experience. But, the betty and james characters make numerous references that feel like high school. So, maybe this affair took place in another city with a college girl? I have to wonder if this is Swift referencing some of the age-gap relationships she’s been in. Again, with Conor Kennedy, she was 22, and he was 18. She also supposedly crashed his sister’s wedding in August, and that was the start of the end of their short romance. I’m just saying...

highlight lyric: “Wanting was enough, for me it was enough // to live for the hope of it all.”

this is me trying - If ‘The Archer’ was Swift confessing to her bad habits after a couple early relationship fights, ‘this is me trying’ is a desperate reminder a few months into the relationship. The two songs are sonically very similar, and I didn’t love the vibe (sorry, again!) the first time. But, I do love the artistic continuation. ‘this is me trying’ slows us down even more than ‘The Archer’ did, with a drum line that is almost like a heart beat, and it feels much less hopeful as a result. The lyrics are also some of the darkest I’ve heard from Swift--”I got wasted like all my potential” and “could’ve followed my fears all the way down.” My heart almost can’t handle this song, to be honest. She also references films again, but my favorite imagery connection is her standing over the lookout, which calls back to Rebekah looking out over the sea in LGAD.

highlight lyric: “and maybe I don't quite know what to say // but I'm here in your doorway”

illicit affairs - This song has that ‘All Too Well’ ache with a hint of ‘Death by A Thousand Cuts’ energy, and personally, I love it. You’ve got the busy instrumental strings underneath a simple, yet haunting melody line, and it’s that light, anxious tension that fits beautifully with the theme of the song. The lyrics depict the simple, small heartbreaking things that remind you of the pain you’re putting yourself through, which is reflected in the slightly surprising, soaring note at the end of the line in the verses. Whether you’ve actually been involved in an affair, these feelings show up in plenty of toxic relationships, and that universality is part of what makes the song powerful. The lyrics aren’t about pretty images, but that’s sort of the point. It’s prime Swift conversational lyricism, and you could pick out any number of lines that make a painful short poem all by themselves.

highlight lyric: “and you wanna scream // don’t call me “kid,” don’t call me “baby” // look at this godforsaken mess that you made me // you showed me colors you know I can’t see with anyone else”

invisible string - The primary love song on the album, this feels like a follow up to ‘Lover,’ maybe something she’d sing after being married a year or two. It’s sort of like ‘Mine,’ but much more mature, partly indicated by the pace of the song, which is steady and sure of itself. It’s also lovely to me that she’s returned to a bit of her country vibes--I ask you, would it feel like true end-game love for Swift if she couldn’t write a country love song about it? Back when she wrote country, all her happy ending songs were merely aspirational, and now they feel true. This is also 100% about Joe Alwyn, and to me, this is proof they have not broken up like some early reviews speculated. We also need to acknowledge that she’s past the Joe Jonas break up (um, good, that was ages ago) and is sending him and Sophie presents for their baby. I read a review that basically said this song seems a little too ‘all tied up’ for Swift, and that it doesn’t feel as genuine as a result. I sort of agree, but if we can take a sad song and accept that it isn’t how she feels 100% of the time, can’t we also do that with happy songs? Plus, she technically does say that it would be ‘pretty to think,’ which sort of implies it’s more a thought experiment than an actual belief. So, there’s that little twinge of sadness we needed to appease the folklore goddess. Oh, and of course, there’s a reference to Lover’s color scheme, saying time “gave me the blues and then purple-pink skies.” Which, many Kaylor hopefuls read as a reference to the Bi pride flag. To that, I just say... Maybe?

highlight lyric: “time, mystical time // cutting me open, then healing me fine”

Mad woman - My favorite thing about this song is the piano melody that happens in the background the whole song, working in concert with the main melody, but also completely independent (and haunting). It reminds me of one concept of madness--having multiple voices or thoughts going on simultaneously. But of course, it’s artfully and perfectly put together, which is the whole point. What could be perceived as madness is, in this case, what makes her able to create a masterful work of art. Now, this is also certainly a song about her masters, Scooter Braun, and Scott Borchetta. But it is also another feminist anthem. Women are taught not to be angry, not to yell, not to react with any emotionality otherwise we are discredited entirely. Swift directly calls this to attention by explaining that we’re angry for a reason--often antagonized intentionally until ‘you find something to wrap your noose around.’ She also makes the important point that women can also ‘hunt witches,’ and can be complicit in treating one another poorly. This is a reference to Scooter Braun’s wife defending him publicly against Taylor. Probably the most savage line is about the ‘master of spin’ having affairs, which she implies his wife knows about and seems to passively accept. But Swift doesn’t go too hard on her, reminding us that ‘no one likes a mad woman’, and that pressure is real. Could this ‘master of spin’ also be Scooter? I think probably. But I did read that some people are connecting this song to Hillary Clinton (she’s a scorpio, and the song references a scorpion sting), and that maybe Trump is the adulterer here... I feel like that’s a stretch, but I appreciate the interpretation.

highlight lyric: “What a shame she went mad // You made her like that”

epiphany - I suspect this song is directly related to how Swift is processing the current state of the pandemic. The atmospheric vibe with slow, clock-ticking beat in the background really feels momentous and poignant. Yes, she starts with images conjured from her grandfather’s stories of World War II, but she quickly seems to compare this awful battle to the doctors fighting COVID-19 on the frontlines in hospitals. The lyrics are simple, repetitive, and powerful. With so many ill literally struggling to breathe, the lines about breathing out really do hit especially hard these days. I can’t believe that wasn’t a thoughtful choice. The chorus is just barely hopeful, reminiscent of the numbness we all have to use as a coping mechanism to get through traumatic experiences. But it’s that little sliver of hope that makes the song even sadder--is that possible?

highlight lyric: “only twenty minutes to sleep // but you dream of some epiphany // just one single glimpse of relief // to make some sense of what you've seen”

betty - Give me all that Tim McGraw, Love Story, early Taylor pop-country. This song is definitely enhanced in part because of its connections to ‘cardigan’ and ‘august,’ but it stands strong on its own. It’s old news at this point, but James and Inez are based on the names of Blake Lively and Ryan Reynolds’s daughters, so it’s all-but-confirmed that their third daughter was named Betty. Written from the perspective of James, there is massive speculation out there about whether the narrator is meant to be a boy or a girl. There are reasonable clues on both sides, so I’ll just say this: I love Taylor, but she’s always been a little late to the party when it comes to socialized ideas of male/female. Because of that, I don’t think she’d have a female narrator riding a skateboard. I also feel from the style of narration--“I don’t know anything;” “just a summer thing;” “would you tell me to go fuck myself”--it does sound more like stereotypical teenage boy language than what we know as swiftie teenage girl language. What I do like about this song, though, is that because it’s written from James’s perspective, it does sort of leave a wider opening for personal interpretation than some of her other love-story-like songs. The reason I personally love this song is that it’s mostly about redemption and forgiveness. Everyone has wished someone who broke their heart would write this song about them, and so it offers catharsis. Plus, it’s the only song on the album that truly feels happy at the end--thanks, key change! It’s refreshing and heartening, and it’s good timing, too. After the heaviest song on the album, we needed it. (Oh, and there’s a callback to the broken cobblestones from ‘cardigan’. And then he literally mentions her cardigan. So.)

highlight lyric: “if you kiss me // will it be just like I dreamed it? // will it patch your broken wings?”

peace - The vibe of this song is like laying on your couch in the summer with light coming in through the blinds and the ceiling fan is going around just fast enough to keep the warm air circulating, but not really cool you off. This song has a hint of ‘False God’ style, a little jazzy, but otherwise, it’s a pretty fresh feel for Swift. The message fits this thoughtful, lightly antsy feeling. She’s basically saying she wants to start a family with Joe (no, I don’t think she is literally pregnant yet) and settle down, but there is no real ‘settling down’ with her level of fame. I also think that Swift truly enjoys making music, performing, and engaging with her fans, and she doesn’t want to leave that life behind any time soon. So, she’s asking him if he can make that work. It’s, again, a mature vision of what a long-term relationship can actually look and feel like. Not all of us can truly relate to the burdens of fame, but there are other ways we can be unable to ‘give you peace’. No relationship is idyllic forever in the way romantic love often makes it out to be, and this song gives us a more realistic, consistent example. And just in case we thought this was just a nice song, the whole ‘clowns to the West’ is another potential Easter egg. In the lyric video, east is not capitalized, but West is. Most likely, this is a dig at Kanye. If we want to believe Taylor wasn’t being vengeful, it could potentially be a reference to Rebekah (West was her maiden name). I lean toward theory one, although it’s kind of amazing that it works out such that it connects to both.

highlight lyric: “but I'm a fire and I'll keep your brittle heart warm // if your cascade ocean wave blues come”

hoax - (Phew last one--I don’t have access to ‘the lakes’ yet) Swift can’t end the album without bringing us all back to the raw emotional space she opened up within us. This song brings back similar piano lines from ‘mad woman’ and the image of screaming on the cliffside. Chronologically, ‘hoax’ feels like it takes place after or during the death of her reputation, i.e. the feud with Kim and Kanye, when she was still very vulnerable. Based on timeline, this seems likely to be either Calvin Harris or Tom Hiddleston. It could really be some combination of the two, since many songs aren’t really about just one person. My gut tells me it’s primarily about Calvin, since she’s referenced that they didn’t have a very faithful relationship--”your faithless love’s the only hoax I believe in.” Both relationships travelled a lot--“I left a part of me in new york.” I’m guessing she’s referencing the feud with Harris over her writing credit on ‘This is What You Came For.’ She takes attacks on her career as seriously as hurtful relationships, and since she’s referencing being torn apart by the media when she says that “what you did was just as dark,” I think it’s likely that this also has something to do with hurting her reputation. It’s another hauntingly beautiful song, and you can totally imagine yourself out on that cliff looking at the midnight sea as the piano line ends.

highlight lyric: “you knew the password, so I let you in the door // you knew you won, so what's the point of keeping score?”

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Overall, the album is my favorite of Taylor’s so far for two reasons: 1) the continuity in both theme and sound is stellar, and 2) there aren’t any songs that I don’t like. Usually, there are 1-3 songs on Taylor’s albums that are either forgettable or too on-the-nose for my taste. I’m sure that is a product, in part, of having to craft songs for radio-play and for her amazing, cinematic live shows. Having given herself the freedom to make whatever music she wanted without thinking (so much) about whether they’d top the charts or be good for a stadium concert, she made an album without a single ‘pop just because’ track.

Now the real question is... What will she do with the remaining 6 months of quarantine???

#taylor swift #swiftie #folklore #album thoughts #folklore thoughts #ts #ts8 #tswift #who else was supposed to go to lover fest?

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thisselflovecamebacktome · 4 years ago

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My top 5 albums for 2020

I typically make this list at the end of December each year, but to be honest, none of the remaining albums that are scheduled to be released this year are ones I’m interested in listening to so I really couldn’t see them taking any of these spots anyway.

Anyway, before I start, I just want to say that I think that 2020 was a pretty strong year for albums. Genuinely, off the top of my head, there was probably another five albums and five extended plays that could have made this list had it been a weaker year. Likewise, even most of the albums that did make the list feel too low down and would have absolutely hit my number one spot in other, weaker years. But end of the day, it was thankfully not a weaker year and so without further ado, here are my top five albums for the year.

5. Chromatica - Lady Gaga.

I feel like every year I do this, I have that one album I was concerned about before it came out because I loved its predecessor so much and didn’t know how it would stack up. This year it was Chromatica. Being a massive Joanne fan and generally more inclined to listen to that sound, I didn’t see myself getting into Chromatica when Stupid Love first dropped. Even after that, it was a grower. Truth be told, I was battling whether to put Chromatica or Future Nostalgia in this slot due to that. As a whole, I listen to the songs on Future Nostalgia more and feel like they are an easier listen in day to day life and on their own. But what ultimately gave Chromatica its place here is the environment and feeling it sets up as a whole album, especially with its relationship to mental illness and recovery. Despite dance/pop songs dealing with mental illness/recovery typically not being my thing, Gaga really makes it work, particularly when listening to the album as a whole as opposed to select songs. This is one of the albums on this list that feels like it’s far too low down, but I couldn’t see myself pushing down any of the other albums. All up, it’s just a versatile album that can be used in a general pop/dance scene if you don’t want to think too deeply about the meaning behind it all or as a mental health moment in your day which in itself is impressive and makes it all the more enjoyable

Favourite Song: Sine From Above (featuring Elton John)

4. Folklore - Taylor Swift.

Remember in April when I said that I thought the postponement of Loverfest meant that we weren’t going to get a new Taylor album until 2022 and that she’d focus on her rerecordings in the meanwhile? Haha yeah me too.... But of course, Taylor had other plans. Honestly if you ever told me that miss Taylor “I fucking love the slow buildup to new albums” Swift would release a surprise album, I would have told you to stop being mean because it’s all I have wanted for years. So the fact we actually got that still blows my mind. I know a lot of people will say that I’ve ranked this album too low, and in many ways it definitely feels like I have. But quite honestly, for me personally, Folklore is an album that is objectively better than it is subjectively. Like realistically I know her writing and production choices on this album could easily rival RED and Reputation, the albums I would claim as Taylor’s best. But honestly, while the songs in Folklore are obviously connected, for me it just misses the level of connectivity and environment that I get from RED and Reputation. And obviously that’s not the case for everyone, I know a lot of people who have called this their pandemic album and feel the environment was just right for this year, that just wasn’t the case for me. Despite this however, the songs individually are incredible. Outside of Epiphany which I just personally find boring, it is a no skip album. Most of the songs have also really helped me in identifying and describing my trauma relating to my family which means the world to me. I have also decided that I would die for an organ version of My Tears Ricochet and a pop/punk version of August, though I doubt we will ever get them. Much like Taylor’s other work, I imagine it’s an album I will continue to listen to for years and even decades to come.

Favourite Song: August (but The 1 and Exile featuring Bon Iver are close seconds)

3. After Hours - The Weeknd.

This is another album I feel is too lowly ranked. Realistically this could have been my second place choice, but ultimately a lack of personal connection to the songs placed it here. I don’t really know what else I want to say about this album if I’m honest. It’s just really good. Like each song sounds unique enough to be distinguishable while still sounding alike enough to compliment each other throughout the album. I also feel like even though I don’t personally relate to these songs, there’s a sense of personalism and vulnerability on this album that I’ve only really felt on My Dear Melancholy (an extended play I heavily related to at the time). Also, it doesn’t need to be said, but despite having believed the Grammys was a political game for years, I am still beyond shocked that this album didn’t even get a nomination despite its success. Ultimately, I think this is my favourite The Weeknd album ever at this point.

Favourite Song: Heartless.

2. Manic - Halsey.

Like I said, I struggled on whether to make this my second or third choice for this list. Ultimately, what placed it as my second spot, and what I think is this album’s greatest strength, is that for me it perfectly encapsulated the highs and lows of being in your early 20s. Having turned 25 this year, listening to this album still feels like revisiting my early 20s with a new, more comforting and less lonely perspective. Genuinely, it feels as if I could assign each song a year of my early 20s in which I predominately felt those emotions and it just works. In my opinion, this is further strengthened with Ashley being my age and seemingly having similar musical taste, making the production choices feel all the more personalised to those moments as they are ones that I’d probably also make. All up, this album is amazing and feels like it’s going to be a nostalgia piece for a very long time for me personally. While I can’t say I’m surprised at the Grammys snubbing it given their record with Halsey, I still will forever feel like it’s disappointing because this album deserved so much more than it got.

Favourite Song: 929.

1. Child In Reverse - Kate Miller-Heidke.

Before I start talking about this album, I am once again going to note how bitter I am that Kate is so underrated. Perhaps I am too much of a stan, but genuinely Kate has been making top tier music for years now that barely anyone knows despite her being lyrically quite similar to big names such as Taylor, and Child In Reverse is no different. To be honest, upon my first listen to this album, I finally understood what everyone was on about when they said that Folklore was their pandemic/perfect 2020 mood album because that’s what Child In Reverse is for me. Much like Folklore and Manic, Child In Reverse feels a lot like I’m looking back over my past traumas and finding new ways to explain and process them and feeling less alone throughout the process. I will also say that while Kate has always made amazing music, this is the first album I personally connect to which just elevates my love for it all the more and has made it overtake Curiouser as my favourite album from her; something I never thought could be done. Further, I feel like this is Kate’s best album in terms of experience. While I would place Kate’s lyrical (and production in differing ways) ability on par with Taylor, I’ve always felt as if Taylor’s albums had more of an focus on the albums as a whole and how they work together to tell an overarching story, whereas Kate’s work tended to focus on the songs individually. Neither of these are better or worse than the other, but as I’ve mentioned, the environment and overall feeling of an album is just something that draws me in and makes me fall in love with albums faster and deeper than I otherwise would. So the fact that I feel Kate has achieved this for me with Child In Reverse just makes me so happy. All up, I feel that this was not only the most underrated album I heard this year, but the best and I truly hope that one day it gets the recognition it deserves.

Favourite Song: Child Of Divorce.

#kate miller heidke #halsey #the weeknd #taylor swift #lady gaga #child in reverse #manic album #after hours album #folklore #chromatica #kate miller-heidke

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klossyswifts · 6 years ago

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You can hear it in the silence.

You Need To Calm Down reaffirmed something for me in screaming color today. Truly, at this point, if Taylor weren’t bi/gay/questioning/at least okay with LGBT fans speculating about it, she and her PR team would have immensely scaled back all of the rainbow imagery and literal pride messages in songs. It wouldn’t even have been too late after Me! If they had decided to pivot, they could have. The album has 18 potential tracks. They could have scrapped one or changed another. YNTCD did not need to come out 🌈the way that it did. If the team were worried about the rumors or wanted them gone, we wouldn’t be getting “shade never made anybody less gay��. We wouldn’t be getting “don’t step on his gown”. Frankly we wouldn’t even be getting “baby doll”, or a pride month album kickoff for that matter, if they were that worried. They also probably wouldn’t choose this timing for Taylor to make large political moves and donations that most vocally involve and influence LGBT causes.

There is always the argument that she is staunchly dedicated to queerbaiting, but at this point I don’t think it’s a smart one. The whole team watches social media like a hawk, and they know when we aren’t pleased and when things are creating turmoil. If the TS7 era so far were a milquetoast attempt to queerbait, she and Tree would have registered the recent backlash and queerbaiting accusations. They would have pulled back on the LGBT in-group messaging/branding because it wasn’t working the way that they wanted it to. Queerbaiting is supposed to be lucrative - if it’s creating drama and dissent or is called what it is, it isn’t working, and they’d pull the strategy. But that didn’t happen, at the very least because they don’t feel that passionately about quelling speculation, and at most because this is a timeline leading toward something bigger. The team seems to have stood their ground and continued the exact same imagery, marketing, messages. They know why Taylor is committed to it (even if even Taylor isn’t sure how much she is going to disclose when) and they are sticking to their guns.

The strongest thing for me that I keep coming back to is the lack of a statement of straightness or allyship. Like, do you know how easy it would be for her or her people to release some sort of post or video or statement, claiming that she is an ally or saying the words “I’m straight” or “I may not be a part of the LGBT community, but...” or something similar? How easy it would be, even, for her to say a word like boyfriend or my man (something she has noteably avoided doing for her entire career)? It would be incredibly easy. The word ally is low stakes to say, and she’d receive a lot of support. It would create put an end to a lot of fandom infighting as well as a lot of PR stress. She could have done this at any point over the last 6-7 years, frankly, any time since speculation about her sexuality began, and all of this would have been put to bed. She has never been this vague or silent about a misconception in the media she wanted to quell. People call her boy crazy and put down her song writing? She criticizes it in interviews and song lyrics. She frames entire artistic concepts around a response to the misogyny and pettiness present in that dynamic. She writes songs and makes comments in response to celebrity world feuds/drama/gossip and the media’s response to them all the time. Do you really think if there was nothing to the LGBT rumors or if she didn’t want them, she wouldn’t have gotten on camera vocally expressing her discomfort or at the very least her polite refutation? Is this the same woman? This is the most glaring, deafening, telling silence I have ever heard.

Bottom line, there is no reason, other than the probable fact that she is in some way a part of the community, that she wouldn’t make some sort of clarifying statement by now after everything that happened. If she knows about all of our holes in the fence posts, then she knows about all of our Gaylor Swift posts, and that they never stopped after Kissgate. And let’s talk about Kissgate. Yes, the team pulled off a bunch of panicked response moves on social media (the tweet about speculation about dating her friends, the homophobic posts that her account liked liked), which for the record I continue to find hurtful to LGBT fans and disappointing to this day, despite comprehending some of the potential reasons. But what was most revealing about those response moves was that they were clumsy and disorganized, almost completely lacking strategy. Panicked. Sloppy. Poorly executed and hurtful. The seemingly easy, obvious, and professional road to take would have been releasing a statement denying the footage & rumors as completely off base / fabricated / misconstrued, and affirming her sexuality. But clearly they were considering that road non optional. That means something. It would’ve been one of the most surefire paths to put out fires, it would’ve been a lot less chaotic and hurtful to fans, but she wouldn’t take it. She and her team made the mistakes choices that they made instead. Why? Why would they be so discombobulated and panicked, why would they respond in such a way that resembled disorganized lashing out instead of a calculated, clever PR response like I know they are capable of? The only answer that makes sense is because she panicked because there was some truth behind the speculation. She panicked because it was personal and emotional. She wasn’t ready to have that conversation with the world, but she also wasn’t ready to close the door on the speculation entirely. She wasn’t willing to confirm her straightness. This, to me, can only mean that she couldn’t bear to destroy a future chance to tell a different, fuller truth.

And I’ll be honest, unlike some other Gaylor Swift bloggers, I’m not infatuated / enamored with Taylor to the point where I can let her off of the hook for all of the decisions she and her team have made. Like the Kissgate responses, allowing/cosigning some homophobic things happening in the fandom, and other decisions around bearding in general - and because I want this post to reach wider audiences than just dedicated Gaylor fans*, I will say that even if you don’t believe Joe is a beard, it is hard to deny that she and her team have participated in bearding in the past. I love her music, and I find her fascinating, and I understand that coming out is hard and homophobia is real and that celebrity politics are intense, but looking around at the number of out LGBT celebrities who were closeted for a long time and handled that closeted period with more dignity and less whiplash for fans, it just doesn’t excuse it for me. Especially as the years go on and it gets more and more acceptable to be an out celebrity. I’m not saying the challenges have vanished, but it seems less and less reasonable to do some of the things that she’s done as time passes. It’s no longer the early 2000′s. There are ways that she could have (and could still) handle it better, if she didn’t come out. So yeah I’ve been unhappy on multiple occasions and I’ll admit that freely. But I’m still incredibly interested in how this all plays out, because she is such a big pop star who I have followed for so long, and her social influence has a lot of magnitude. I’m a fan and I’m invested as an LGBT fan, I’m just not uncritical. You don’t have to agree with my critiques to reblog this post, I’m just putting them out there for transparency of discourse.

In summary, given her demonstrable readiness, eloquence and ability to write letters, statements, calls to action, etcetera, it wouldn’t be hard for Taylor to shut down any and all discourse about her sexuality. It wouldn’t have been hard then and it wouldn’t be hard now. Yet persistently, she won’t. She continues to center LGBT topics in her lyrics, aesthetics, political actions, and online presence, and simultaneously neglects to ever put forth a clear message confirming her heterosexuality or ally status. At this point anyone who isn’t completely mired in homophobia should know why.

You can hear it in the silence.

*I also want to note that this is not an official or exclusive Kaylor(tm) post, because I want this discourse to be accessible to Swifties from many opinions and interests regarding this topic. I myself am not even sure if they are together (I personally feel it is likely they were together at one point, but am unsure if they still are - not that I wouldn’t want them to be!) and a lot of what I reblog in terms of concrete Kaylor theories is Swiftie style speculation/easter egg hunting/genuine fascination with the PR and celebrity world - and again, if the continuous presence of these made her uncomfortable, there would be very very easy ways of denying it in a more direct way than she has before, and admonishing the fandom. I am interested in LGBT issues and Taylor’s career and PR timeline, whether or not Karlie Kloss ever had anything to do with it, and I wrote this post as a bisexual fan in general, based on my thoughts and observations.

#Gaylor Swift #kaylor #taylor swift #okay to reblog

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keepcalm-andbopon · 6 years ago

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Introducing us!!

Isabelle: @swiftie-isabelle

I’m Isabelle and I’m turning 14th in June 27! I would die for Taylor swift. I started listening to her when I was 3 and her music had comforted me ever since! She has had such a impact in my life and I’ve gotten so many amazing memories from her!

Victoria: @sinkanddroundswift

im victoria & i do nothing w my life except cry over taylor swift and not having a boyfriend . I do nothing ever except lay in bed and cry over every little detail. I eat too much food for my body. I like boys alot but they don’t like me. taylor swift claims she loves me multiple times but idk if I believe her yet. I love my cat shes a scottish fold. Beverly Hills, 90210 is my favorite tv show & High School Musical is my favorite movie. I also love grayson dolan more than I can comprehend. I have 0 friends so its me, myself, and I all the time.

Lily: @lilyadorestay

im lily and i do nothing with my life except cry over taylor swift, have people tell me to stop crying about taylor swift, and waste money on bucket hats :)

Sasha: @dropsmynamesasha

I’m sasha and I have a large obsession with food, cats and Taylor Swift

Katelyn: @redheadnamedkatelyn

I’m Katelyn and I’m 13! I don’t do anything in my life except for lacrosse and cheer and love Taylor swift. I have red hair, & Taylor Swift is my absolute best friend and my life wouldn’t be the same without her. And I owe so much to her. And basically I’m known as “the Taylor swift girl” at school so that’s kinda cool. Anyways The moral of this is I love Taylor swift!

Lexie: @drunkonswiftxo

I’m lexie, 18 years old. I have a very busy life actually, I compete in many different karate and martial arts competitions and was British Champion in 2016 with my sword and in October of this year I am competing in the World Martial Arts Games! Before any competition I usually get very nervous but listening to Taylor’s music calms me down (cringe ikr) but I wouldn’t be doing all of these if I didnt have a calming mechanism!

Natalia: @natalialovestaylor

hi! i’m natalia, i’m 15 and from the bay area. taylor has been in my life since i was 8 and i’ve been supporting her ever sense:) she makes me so happy, she’s like the sunlight in my life. i want her to know that i love her so much and i want to hug her and tell her thank you more than anything. 💗

Katie: @shapeofyouswift

hi i’m katie and i’m 16! i’m from ny and i went to all 3 metlife shows!! i’ve been seeing taylor in concert since the fearless era and i’ve seen her 11 times! i’m fortune to have met her 5 years ago at GMA and i was able to get a picture with her outside time 100 gala! taylor makes me so happy and has helped me through many rough times in my life as well as all of the happiest! i’m so thankful to have such a positive role model in my life!!

Meredith:

I’m Meredith and I love Taylor Swift more than words can describe:) I’ve been listening to Taylor since I was four and she has always been a big part of my life since then !! She inspires me everyday and makes my life so much brighter. I am so so proud of her and all that she has done!! Also, I love going to the beach and petting dogs🤩💓

Memphis: @taysmidnights

hi i’m memphis!! i play tennis and obsess over taylor swift! i’m from the beautiful state of california, and i love to surf! i first heard a ts song (You Belong With Me) in 2009, and i’ve loved taylor ever since. i am also a proud supporter of the LGBTQ+ community and have a passion for changing our world. oh, and i’m known as “that taylor swift fan” at my school, but i’m not complaining! 🧚🏼‍♀️

Brooke: @brookewhatyoumademedo

i’m brooke and i’m 14!! i live in cleveland, ohio along with some of my best friends i met through taylor!! i look a lot older than i am and it’s a good and bad thing haha. i used to play a lot of sports but i have decided to just stick with lacrosse!! i love music so much because it helps me with everything. taylor has been like my big sister since i was a baby and i’ve always looked up to her!! my stan song is stay stay stay because it always puts me in the best mood!! i love grey’s anatomy a little too much but i can’t help it. the show actually made me very interested in the medical field and as of now i want to be a pediatric neurosurgeon!! i also love volunteering and helping out my community as much as possible! and i like school which is kind of not something freshman say a lot haha. and that’s me!☀️🌸🦋💘💋

Paige: @taylorswift-paige

Hey! I’m Paige & I’m 21 (soon to be 22 😍). I live in Australia and I’ve been listening to Taylor since I was 9. The first time I saw Taylor perform live was at Speak Now and I was completely blown away, since then I’ve been lucky enough to see her perform 6 times. I’m so grateful that little me decided to listen to Taylor as I don’t know where I would be without her lyrics, music, and advice to guide me through life. Thankyou for everything Taylor, I love you so much and I’m so excited for the Lover era 💗😘

Skylar: @skylarswiftie13

Hey I’m Skylar and I’m 15!! I have been loving Taylor ever since I was 5 and I have (obviously) not stopped since. Other than obsessing over Taylor I loveee to run and watch friends and greys !! I have seen Taylor at the 1989 tour Detroit and Rep Detroit and they were hands down the BEST nights of my life and I def cried a TON hahah. I plan on going to Nash and either Chicago or Detroit for next tour! I absolutely cannot wait until the day that I get to wrap my arms around Taylor and thank her for everything she has done for me ahhh. I love you forever and always Taylor!! 🥰❤️🌈🦋✨☀️

@singitswiftie

Hi Taylor I’m ella and I’m turning 17 in August 12th! IM SO EXCITED FOR THE NEW ALBUM! I just can wait to sing along to all of the songs🥰🥰 you are my absolute favorite human and you helped me with your songs! clean means THE WHOLE ENTIRE WORLD to me and I just relate to it on a personal level. Thank you for supporting lgbtqia+ always! YOU DESERVE THE WHOLE ENTIRE WORLD

Makayla @comebackbbehere

Hey T I’m Makayla!! I’m 13 and I’ve loved you since 2009!! My stan song is Come Back... Be Here not only because it’s amazing but because it has helped me through so so so SO much. It’s amazing how you can, with just a song, literally save someone’s life from spiraling downhill. So thank you. Thank you also, for inspiring so many people. Including me! You have inspired me to sing and write songs and songwriting is now a way I have learned to express myself and a way to help me get through the hard times. You have also inspired me to be more of an activist and speak up for what I believe in. If it weren’t for you, I wouldn’t be a proud feminist or be as educated about the LGBTQ+ community!! In conclusion, thank you SO SO SO much for everything you do and just being the beautiful, amazing, inspiring person you are. I love you more than words can express and I can’t wait for August 23rd!!! ps: I really hope we can hug someday 💗

Bessie: @flyawayswift

Hey !! I’m Bessie, I’m 17 and I’m from the UK 🇬🇧!! I love to do Ballet and Tap dancing, but when it comes to Taylor’s music it’s generally just me doing crazy dad-dancing because I cannot stay calm during her songs. There’s aren’t many words which can sum up accurately how much I love Taylor or how grateful I am to have her in my life, but I love her to the moon and back 💛 I’ve been a swiftie for nearly 5 years, and have loved her music since I was 11. I’ve grown up with her as the big sister I never had, and my biggest dream EVER is to give her the biggest hug hehehe 💛💛

ana: @taysfavourite

hey!! i’m ana and i’m 14, i’m from the uk!! i love taylor (ofc) and i do gymnastics, i also love dance and stuff like that!! i am so thankful for taylor bringing me to some of my best friends!! (i’m always open for new friends btw) and yeah i love taylor!so!much! 💋💋💋

alex: @delicateswiftiez137

hi guys! i’m alex and i’m 14 years old. I live in illinois, and i’ve been a fan of taylor ever since I first heard love story and yblwm on the radio as a kid! my stan song is fearless because I love the message it portrays, but recently i’ve been OBESSED with the whole 1989 album because it’s a literal masterpiece! besides taylor related things, one hobby of mine is swimming! i’ve been a swimmer since I was about 2 years old! anyways, I hope you all have the best day! 🧁🌸🦋💗💋

Edith: @twinfiresignsswift

Hi, my name is Edith and I’m a 15 yr old from California! Anything related to cats is my ideal thing. I’m currently the mother of a tabby cat named Jagger who is very shy, grumpy, and introverted just like me, so the two of us get along very well 🥳 both of us are def party poopers. Anyway I enjoy art, especially watercolor! Initially I wanted to become an artist when I grew up, but I realized I would be poor asf, so now I want to major in biology and become some type of zoologist because animals are the best. In 2014, 5th grader me became obsessed with Blank Space and my life immediately changed from that day on. My favorite album is Speak Now because of how magical and well written it is. My 1 brain cell could never manage to write a whole masterpiece like that all by myself. And my stan song is You Are in Love!! It makes my heart go 💕💗💓 I am so incredibly grateful that I got to see Taylor for the first time ever on rep Pasadena night 1. It was the best day of my life :,) I know so many others do not have the same opportunities; I know how they feel, so I try to stay as humble as I can. I would be such a boring and sad person without Taylor and her amazing lyrics. She is such an amazing role model. Thank you for always being there for me, I will love you forever and always, and I am so excited to see what you have in stock❤️

Jess: @jessheartstaylor

hey!! I’m Jess and I’m 14, from the UK!! My stan song is begin again, I love it so much!! IM SO EXCITED FOR LOVER! I can’t wait to see what Taylor has in store for us!! I’m so thankful for Taylor as she’s such an incredible role model and idol to me, her music always cheers me up and she never fails to make me smile!! I love her so much- forever and always!! 💕💞💓💗💖💝

jordan: @fairytaleswift

hey taylor!! the thought of you scrolling all the way down and reading this right now is insane... all of us girls love you with everything inside of us. I have been supporting you for lucky number 13 years!!! I’ve been with you since 2006! I have been to Speak Now, Red, 1989 and Rep! I am so excited for Lover! It has been an honor watching you grow and become the amazing and strong woman you are today. I love you so much taylor... I hope we get to hug soon! 💗🌥🍭🦄🌩🌸🌈💐🦋💗💓🥰💅🏻🌥

Ravae: @vaelovestaytayswift

Hey I’m Ravae!! I’ve loved Taylor for as long as I can remember my sister has listened to her forever so I grew up listening to her!! Taylor inspires me everyday to be a better person and she’s a great role model. Her music helps me through the really rough times but also puts me in a better mood through the good times! I hope to meet you one day! Love you Tay🦋💞🌈💘🥺

Gracie: @inredlipsticks

Hey, Taylor! I’m Gracie and I’m 20 as of June 22nd. I’ve loved you since debut and my favorite album of all time is Fearless. I’ve been fortunate enough to see you four times and hopefully more on the lover tour 💗 along with Taylor, I also love Selena Gomez, Disney, and dogs!! 💗🦋🌸 The four most important things in my life.

Ella: @ellalovesswift

Hey! My name is Ella and I’m 17 years old. I’ve loved Taylor ever since the day my dad thought I needed my own music instead of just listening to his, this was when I was just seven years old and my dad bought me the fearless album and I fell in love with Love Story!! Ever since then I’ve never stopped loving Taylor! Other than her music, I’ve grown up with Taylor and every day she has inspired me to be a better person! My favourite songs are enchanted, better than revenge and dress! I’ve been to the red and reputation tours in Melbourne! Other than Taylor I am a swimmer. I swim a lot and it’s been a part of my life since before Taylor! I hope one day I can hug her and tell her how much she’s impacted my life! I will always stay, love you Tay 💗🦋💓🌸

bri: @briadorestay

hi t! my name is bri and i am 13 (turning 14 on august 19th) i have loved you since i was 5 years old and my stan songs are the archer, ciwyw, and you are in love. the soft songs🥺🥺 i love you so much and i hope you never stop doing what you’re doing because you are so inspiring!! i love u so much buddy! see you one day?🧚‍♀️☁️🌸💘🥺💗⭐️🕊

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tillidontneedfantasy · 5 years ago

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A Taylor Swift Album of the Year Winner Face-off: The Universality of Specificity in Fearless and 1989

We don’t know quite yet where Lover will fall in terms of quality and popularity, or if it will ever win a Grammy; but while we wait to find out, let’s examine the “best” of Taylor’s discography by dissecting her two Album of the Year winning works.

The Grammys continue to be the topic of a recycled debate among musicians and consumers alike. How valid is the notion that a Grammy equates to greatness? Unfortunately, no validity tests have been developed or conducted as far as I know, so we cannot say for sure. But at the very least, a Grammy is indicative of respect from the industry.

But oh, how the industry has changed, and so the Grammys with it. One could argue that Album of the Year (AOTY) has fallen from the highest honor of the Grammys, knocked off by Record of the Year in the age of streaming, in which many artists just pump out single after single, barely selling albums. Few album artists remain in the current musical climate, with Taylor Swift as one of the (if not the) most triumphant of all. Love her or hate her, the girl can sell an album. Her past 4 studio albums have sold 1 million + copies in its first week of release, streaming not included. Part of this might be due to the incentive Swift gives to her fans to not only buy one copy, but multiple, with exclusive magazines, posters, polaroids, and now literal diary entries; but this shows both her innovation and her fanbase’s endless devotion, which continues to grow. If her upcoming 7th studio album, Lover, misses the million mark in its first week, we could expect it to just miss it (although, it currently looks like she won’t have to worry about it); nevertheless, there’s no doubt it’ll go platinum.

In direct relation to the Grammys, we must ask ourselves whether sales indicate success or quality. It seems from a majority of the past AOTY winners, their sales may have heightened their chances at victory. In Swift’s case, both of her AOTY winners, Fearless (2008) and 1989 (2014) are her best-selling albums, with her best-selling singles; both albums are the most awarded in history for their genres of country and pop, respectively. Does this mean they are her 2 best albums? Swift’s most critically acclaimed song, “All Too Well” from Red (2012) did not qualify for a nomination as it was never a single; Red received 4 Grammy nominations, including AOTY, and lost in all categories. (This, coincidentally, is what motivated Swift to really rev things up on 1989, determined to claim her second AOTY title, which worked.) “All Too Well” is still among Taylor’s best songs without the shiny gramophone, so to say only Grammy winners qualify for a “best” debate would be obtuse. However, this is what we have to work with, and in regards to Swift, the case could be made for both of her two AOTY claimers that they are- objectively- the best of her work (thus far). But which is THE best?

Both provide strong evidence for the title. Taylor’s sophomore album, Fearless, was released on November 11, 2008, a month and two days before her 19th birthday. When Taylor accepted her 4 Grammys for the album, she was officially the youngest AOTY recipient of all time at the age of 20. The ages here are notable- not because the broken record- but because of its significance in relation to the album content. Fearless is a uniquely precise encapsulation of what it’s like to be a teenage girl. It didn’t matter whether you liked country music or not, because although the country-pop crossover sound had an astronomical impact on both genres and the industry as a whole, Fearless transcends genre because it spoke to a cohort of girls in a way that music never had before. Taylor talks about the transformative period of adolescence in “Fifteen,” in which you are forced to grow up while maybe not really knowing who you’re supposed to be yet. She grieves the loss of a friendship on “Breathe” and thanks her mother, Andrea, for taking her mind off bullies and mean girls on “The Best Day.” What teenage girl hasn’t dramatically sang along to the iconic “You Belong With Me” in the car or in the shower, a cathartic way of asking the person you care for why they don’t see(-ee-ee) you without having to actually say it to their face? In “Love Story,” she takes the Shakespearean classic and staple of any 9th grade English class, Romeo and Juliet, and changes the ending to fit her chosen rose-colored perception of love. And that’s the key here: chosen. “But no matter what love throws at you, you have to believe in it,” she urges in the linear notes of the album booklet, “You have to believe in love stories and prince charmings and happily ever after. That’s why I write these songs. Because I think love is fearless.” Not only does Swift validate those experiences and whimsical feelings, but she encourages the listeners to hold onto them, cherish them, learn from them, and wear them proudly even in the face of adversity and heartbreak. Teenage girls are so often belittled and dismissed, but Fearless is like a warm, sisterly hug from Swift herself, whispering in your ear, “I get you. I’ve been there. You’ve got this. We’ve got this.”

Fearless’s ability to so effectively address and comfort a target population is a rare and special feat. However, it raises the question: does anyone else listen to it? Fans of Swift who grew up with Fearless surely listen back as an adult with fond nostalgia, and newer and younger fans have the luxury of discovering this wonderful work whenever they need it. But what about those who may have been well past their teen years at its release? Are they able to listen and feel nostalgic too, or are they forgetful and unappreciative of the intense and magical emotions of youth? Does it matter? Does its applicability to a very select group take away from its greatness? I would say, no, it doesn’t. Specific groups need specific art to turn to when they feel like nothing else can adequately meet that need to be seen and understood.

But even 1989, in its seemingly endless glory, keeps Swift’s trademark specificity. I am sure that decades from now, there will be many think-pieces on how 1989 is one of the greatest pop albums of the century. (And rightfully so!) What makes 1989 such a widely loved album is its universality across ages and gender identities, yet there is still distinct specificity sprinkled in. In “Shake It Off,” Swift’s most successful single to date, she preaches that we cannot control the actions of those making us feel lesser, and so we just have to shake off their words and keep cruising, moving, and grooving; at the same time, she speaks to unique criticism to her, such as her silly and care-free award show dance moves, or her going on “too many dates” and being unable to keep a man. “At least, that’s what people say!” she carelessly sings. We can swap out the hate from her haters with our own, and joyously dance it all away. On the closing track, “Clean,” Taylor laments being sober from an ex for 10 months, missing him but not willing to risk it, but the way she words it leaves it open enough to be applicable to any type of addiction, love or other drugs. Even on more intimate songs, like “Out of the Woods,” she provides distinct details of her relationship, as she recounts an accident where her muse of the song had to receive “twenty stitches in a hospital room.” My heart does a flip every time I hear the line, “we decided to move the furniture so we could dance / baby, like we stood a chance,” because although I have never moved any furniture to dance with a loved one, the reminiscent longing in her voice makes me feel like I have. Swift is such a skilled songwriter due to this exact ability: making the specifics of her life a universal experience.

And so maybe we cannot definitively say which is the better album. Maybe music cannot truly be measured objectively. But through Fearless and 1989, Taylor has achieved what so few others have: not just staggering worldwide sales, but an ever-growing worldwide connection. No matter how much the haters hate, she continues to lay out the delicate strings of her heart in her hands and offers it to the world. I can’t wait to see who grabs hold next.

---

Disclaimer - Blogger’s bias: I always liked Taylor but I truly began to “stan” at the age of 13 in 2008 right after Fearless’s release; it is my favorite album of hers and I truly believe it is objectively her best, but I find myself wanting to listen to 1989 the most often of all of her albums. They are both so special and every single thing Taylor does is superb so jot that down! Buy and stream Lover, Taylor’s 7th studio album, on August 23rd until the end of time.

#taylor swift #1989 #fearless #grammys #AOTY #album of the year #you belong with me #love story #the best day #breathe #fifteen #shake it off #out of the woods #clean #lover #music

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celebritylive · 5 years ago

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Taylor Swift‘s highly anticipated Netflix documentary Miss Americana is now available for streaming — and the pop star’s fans will find the film delivers.

The 30-year-old singer unveiled the movie at the 2020 Sundance Film Festival on Jan. 23 to praise from fans and critics alike.

From tackling her recent public political stance to shying away from showing off too much of her relationship with boyfriend Joe Alwyn, Swift provides her fans with a glimpse inside of her complicated life.

RELATED: Nikki Glaser Apologizes to Taylor Swift for Body Shaming Comments Included in Miss Americana Documentary

Here’s everything we’ve learned from Miss Americana.

1. Swift struggled with an eating disorder early in her career.

The pop singer opened up about feeling “triggered” by paparazzi photos of herself in an intimate moment in the film.

“I’ve learned over the years it’s not good for me to see pictures of myself every day because I have a tendency… I tend to get triggered by something whether it’s a picture where I feel like it looked like my tummy is too big or where someone said I looked pregnant,” Swift revealed.

She added, “That’ll just trigger me to starve a little bit, just stop eating.”

Now, Swift says, she’s managed to find a place where she feels happy with her body and doesn’t put too much thought on images of her that circulate around the Internet.

“I don’t care as much if someone points out that I’ve gained weight,” she said. “There’s always some standard of beauty that you’re not meeting. It’s all just f—ing impossible.”

RELATED: Taylor Swift Opens Up About an Eating Disorder She Previously Battled, Says Paparazzi Photos Were a ‘Trigger’

2. Fans will see how the pop star creates her music and lyrics.

Swift gave director Lana Wilson unprecedented access to her music sessions while at the recording studio. The singer admitted she’d never had anyone with her in the studio that she wasn’t collaborating with during a Q&A after the premiere at Sundance.

“I didn’t want to know if it would stop me from feeling like I could come up with ideas and feeling like I could throw things out,” Swift said. “And there’s so much ridiculous-sounding ad-libbing that you do when you’re writing songs. So much of it sounds ridiculous until it sounds all right.”

She continued, “And a lot of that time, I would just always refuse to have any cameras in the studio whenever I write because I just feel like, what if I can’t do it. A then you’ve wasted a day and then I’ve wasted another creator’s time, I’ve wasted my producers time, I’ve wasted a co-writers time and I can’t write if somebody’s there.”

3. How she decided to go public with her political views.

In the documentary, Swift travels to her home state of Tennessee before the local elections to encourage people to register to vote and to also raise awareness as to how then-Senatorial candidate, Republican Marsha Blackburn, was anti-gay marriage, anti-gay rights and for rolling back protections for women when it came to domestic violence and stalking.

In a powerful scene, Swift and her mother, Andrea, attend a board meeting with members of her organization, including her father, Scott, to convince them to allow her to go public with her stance against Blackburn.

With her mother’s backing, Swift tearfully tells the all-male group, “I’m saying right now that I’m doing something that I know is right and I need to be on the right side of history.”

When Blackburn won the senatorial race, however, Swift was shocked and vowed to help increase voter turnout for the 2020 elections — as well as the release of a new political anthem, “Only the Young.”

RELATED: Taylor Swift Releases New Political Anthem ‘Only the Young’ — Listen Now

4. On keeping her relationship with Joe Alwyn private.

While Alwyn was hardly seen in the film — except for a hug he gives Swift after one of her concert performances — the singer says he helped her in the aftermath of the scandal involving Kim Kardashian West and Kanye West.

“I had to deconstruct an entire belief system for my own personal sanity. I was also falling in love with someone who had a really wonderfully normal, balanced, grounded life,” she said.

“We decided together that we wanted our relationship to be private,” Swift added.

There are hints of Alwyn in the documentary, though. A montage of clips shot by the actor is shown, including Swift laughing as she tells him “I love you” while singing “Call It What You Want,” enjoying private dates in nature and the singer blowing out candles on a birthday cake.

“It was happiness without anyone else’s input. It was just … we were happy,” Swift said.

5. Why winning the trial against a former radio host who groped her didn’t feel like a victory.

In 2017, Swift countersued against former radio host David Mueller for $1 after he claimed in his lawsuit against her that she had gotten him fired.

Despite having the judge dismiss Mueller’s lawsuit, Swift said it was more of an ordeal than a win.

“I was so angry. I was angry that I had to be there,” she said. “I was angry that this happens to women. I was angry that people are paid to antagonize victims.”

Swift continued, “You don’t feel a sense of any victory when you win because the process is so dehumanizing.”

Following the trial, Swift shared a touching moment with her mother backstage at one of her concerts. Hugging her daughter, Andrea sobbed in Swift’s arms after her court win and explained how proud she was that she’d defended herself.

Swift hugged her mother back and comforted her, saying, “It’s OK, now.”

6. She didn’t discover burritos until her late 20s — and has a genius way of adding extra “crunch.”

During a recording session for her Lover album, Swift revealed she’d never eaten a burrito “until like two years ago.”

Enjoying a burrito during a lunch break, she showed a recording producer how she added extra “crunch” by adding a tortilla chip inside the burrito and taking a bite.

7. Revealing she felt “trained” to be good from an early age.

In the first few minutes of Miss Americana, home videos of Swift from her childhood are shown across the screen as it chronicles her early beginnings as a singer-songwriting all the way until she found success.

Swift explained she was “trained to be happy” since her childhood, adding the lesson wasn’t always a good one.

“My entire moral code as a kid and now is a need to be thought of as ‘good,'” she said. “It was all I wrote about, it was all I wanted, it was a complete and total belief system that I subscribed to as a kid.”

She continued, “And obviously, I’m not a perfect person by any stretch but overall the main thing that I always tried to do was just be a good girl. I became the person who everyone wanted me to be.”

RELATED: Taylor Swift Reveals She’s Felt Like People ‘Lean in with … Hunger’ When She’s Felt ‘Humiliated’

8. Feeling she couldn’t “bounce back from” the Kimye scandal.

When West released his notorious 2016 song “Famous” with the lyrics, “I feel like me and Taylor might still have sex Why? I made that bitch famous,” Swift responded saying she had not been aware the rapper would call her a derogatory name.

In response, Kardashian West released an edited video of her husband on the phone with Swift, acknowledging the “sex” part of the song. West insisted that Swift approved the lyric, though a rep for Swift said, “Kanye did not call for approval, but to ask Taylor to release his single ‘Famous’ on her Twitter account. She declined and cautioned him about releasing a song with such a strong misogynistic message. Taylor was never made aware of the actual lyric, ‘I made that bitch famous.’ “

Swift recalled the aftermath of the scandal in the documentary, saying, “When people decided I was wicked and evil and conniving and not a good person, that was the one I couldn’t really bounce back from because my whole life was centered around it.”

RELATED: Taylor Swift Reveals Her Mom Andrea Has a Brain Tumor: ‘We Don’t Know What Is Going to Happen’

9. On her mother’s cancer.

Swift was dealt with another blow when her mother, Andrea, was diagnosed with cancer.

“That has been really hard for me because she is my favorite person,” the pop star. “It woke me up from this life where I used to sweat all these things, but like, do you really care if the Internet doesn’t like you today if your mom’s sick from her chemo?”

In a sweet moment, Andrea explains after her diagnosis she did something she’s “always wanted to do”: adopt a huge dog which she calls her “cancer dog.”

Swift explained the pup was also Andrea’s “third child, like a human-sized dog.”

RELATED: Taylor Swift Says Kanye West Moment ‘Burrowed Into My Psyche’ but She Doesn’t ‘Think Too Hard’ About It Now

10. How the 2009 VMAs made her feel like she didn’t belong.

Reliving the experience of West taking the microphone from her during her 2009 VMA acceptance speech, Swift said the moment was a crucial part of her life.

“It was so echo-y in there. At the time, I didn’t know they were booing him doing that,” she said. “I thought they were booing me.”

“For someone who has built their whole belief system on getting people to clap for you, the whole crowd booing is a pretty formative experience.”

She added, “That was a sort of catalyst for a lot of psychological paths that I went on and not all of them were beneficial. It was all fueled by me not feeling like I belonged there. I’m only here because I work hard and I’m nice to people.”

Miss Americana is now streaming on Netflix.

from PEOPLE.com https://ift.tt/2GEwewC

#Celebrity

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noahfence1d · 5 years ago

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Queer people who took time coming to terms with our identities know the dance of avoiding definitive terms and labels. We know what it can look like when someone is a baby queer in waiting; we certainly understand what it’s like trying to figure out how to exist both authentically and safely in the world, calculating the risks of being your true self, and why that waiting period exists—and, for some, never really ends. This process of coming to terms and coming out, however, poses different challenges and has specific implications when you’re a celebrity. Some celebrities—especially those with teen fanbases, like Shawn Mendes or Taylor Swift—are no strangers to being pinned as queer icons because of their presentation, language, or even the friendships they have, despite not being out as queer. However, figures like Mendes or Swift are known for vehemently pushing away from any narrative defining them explicitly queer. Other celebrities, like Harry Styles, have strongly leaned into queerness—or at the very least, embraced being coded as queer.

Look up “Harry Styles queer” on Google and you’ll get a range of headlines from “We need to talk about why Harry Styles is a lesbian icon” to “Harry Style’s New Music Video is Extremely Bisexual.” Styles often dons floral suits and a more stereotypically feminine demeanor alongside lyrics like ones from his song “Medicine,” which are unmistakably bisexual: “The boys and the girls are here/ I mess around with him/ And I’m okay with it.” Recently, Styles announced a tour with artists similarly dubbed queer icons, Jenny Lewis and King Princess, a musical setup that seems like it was made in heaven for queer fans. On his new Saturday Night Live appearance, Styles played a sexually ambiguous character in the Sara Lee sketch, referencing being thirsty for men, almost locking in his “brand” of queerness yet again. In October 2019, Styles’s single “Lights Up” was also deemed a bisexual anthem by certain members of the queer community, especially as the corresponding music video shows a nearly naked Styles surrounded by people of all genders who are touching and carressing his body.

In a 2019 interview with Rolling Stone, he explained why he often dons rainbow flags on stage at his concerts and why he’s been so vocal about supporting queer people. “Everyone in that room is on the same page and everyone knows what I stand for. I’m not saying I understand how it feels. I’m just trying to say, ‘I see you.’” At this point, Styles isn’t new to curiosity surrounding his sexuality. Throughout his time with One Direction, rumors about his sexuality swirled, as he had a close relationship with bandmate Louis Tomlinson. The relationship became a hot topic, and one hugely obsessed over in fan and fanfiction communities. In a 2017 interview with The Sun, while discussing the way that celebrity sexuality is constantly questioned, he said, “It’s weird for me—everyone should just be who they want to be. It’s tough to justify somebody having to answer to someone else about stuff like that … I don’t feel like it’s something I’ve ever felt like I have to explain about myself.” At his final show for his tour in Glasgow in 2018, Styles announced onstage, “We’re all a little bit gay.”

For much of his career, it’s almost seemed like his fanbase is rooting for his queerness. One reason that online communities seem to be so obsessed with queer-adjacent celebrities like Styles is that they normalize queerness, making it feel more accessible. “If they were to come out, it would be a huge benefit to LGBTQ visibility in the media, and a lot of people in the LGBTQ community would love to have a celebrity of that stature on ‘their’ side,” Ash, a bisexual woman, told me. But Styles doesn’t actually claim queerness just because many fans, queer and otherwise, have hoped that he’ll one day do so explicitly. “Can straight people be queer?” asked a 2016 Vice article about the impact of the term’s increasingly broad application. The fact is that cis, straight people can’t be queer—so what does that mean when queer communities tout artists like Styles or Swift as part of our culture?

At some points in history, having these kinds of allies for the community who are not queer themselves, like Lil’ Kim, who has advocated for gay men and against homophobia in the rap community since the early 2000s, has been monumental. Queer audiences of yesteryears also gravitated toward performers like Dolly Parton who didn’t have to be queer themselves because they were accepting and loving toward all, and used their platform to normalize and uplift the queer communities that have celebrated them. In this day and age, however, expectations of performers have heightened. Unlike other celebrities dubbed “queer icons” who happen to be straight, including Madonna, Janet Jackson, or Parton, the fanbases of artists like Styles’s skew younger. And younger audiences don’t just want performers who see and welcome them. They want performers who are them—artists who understand the queer experience because they are queer, and they’re here to reflect audiences back to themselves.

So why the critique if there are seemingly so many positives to any representation or acceptance? It’s not that Styles, or any celebrity or public figure for that matter, owes us any information about their sexualities. On one hand, simply by existing in such a public manner, these celebrities offer a sliver of hope that there might be someone just like us navigating the world of queerness and identity. Celebrities like Styles or Swift—who has made use of queer aesthetics herself, and whose friendship with model Karlie Kloss has been the subject of rumors—remind us of who we were when we navigated our queerness more subtly before we were ready to explicitly tell someone close to us, or our resident queer community. Entertainers like Jackson or Parton became queer icons because they embraced queer fans during a closeted time, and perhaps it felt okay to have acceptance without representation. It was clear the performers weren’t trying to be queer. On the other hand, with Styles or Swift, the lines are blurred, and it’s unclear whether they’re trying to say they’re one of us or merely accept queer fans while borrowing from the culture to fit in and create a brand.

“I think it’s important for white queer folks to interrogate the whiteness of their queer idols, and work to understand why they feel more inclined to celebrate the visible queerness of one artist over another.”

There’s often a concern that celebrities are co-opting queerness as a marketing ploy. With the long history of queerbaiting (using the possibility of or undertones of queerness to gain favorability with queer people) in popular culture, there’s a certain level of disingenuousness to letting the bait and switch go on with minimal critique. The kind of support and lauding that celebrities like Styles receive for more playful expression and experimentation is not always present for queer people of color like Syd (formerly of The Internet), Alok Vaid-Menon, or Big Freedia. When she sees mostly white, thin, able-bodied figures with “queer energy” centered as icons in the queer community as opposed to queer people of color, Olivia Zayas Ryan, a queer woman, wonders why. “If you’re showing up for a pretty white boy in a tutu, where are you when Black and brown queer folks are vilified, ridiculed, and worse?” she told me. “If you are excited and feel seen when queer aesthetics are in the mainstream, what are you doing to honor, protect, and recognize the folks who created them? I think it’s important for white queer folks to interrogate the whiteness of their queer idols, and work to understand why they feel more inclined to celebrate the visible queerness of one artist over another.”

Conversation around both queerbaiting and our curiosity about celebrity queerness is an ongoing and complicated one. For example, there are theorists who have posited that Kurt Cobain was a closeted trans woman. “Many transgender women see themselves in his shaggy hair, his penchant for nail polish and dresses, and his struggles with depression,” Gillian Branstetter, a transgender advocate and writer, told me. Cobain’s fascination with pregnancy (“In Utero”) and his distaste for masculinity (“In Bloom”), as well as his partner Courtney Love’s references to having a more fluid lover (“He had ribbons in his hair/ And lipstick was everywhere/ You look good in my dress”) stoked this interest in his sexuality and presentation. “It sounds very familiar to trans women whose own relationship with masculinity and femininity was often expressed in coded ways before they came out,” says Branstetter. Styles, who like Cobain shows disinterest in conforming to a traditionally masculine rock-star presentation, seems to spark the same interest in fans from the queer community.

With our investment in Styles or other celebrities who are likely straight but exude “queer energy,” it feels as if we’re looking for a mirror of ourselves, seeking to claim the most popular public figures as our own, and in turn feel more normal and accepted. Perhaps our obsession with artists like Styles comes down to the excitement of feeling visible—but what do fans of potentially straight queer icons like Styles actually want? Can we thread the needle between feeling seen and normalized in our queerness while also feeling the imbalance between Styles’s privilege and the most marginalized people in the queer community’s lived experiences? Ultimately, it’s queer fans who get to decide if Styles’s kind of allyship and solidarity with the queer community is enough, or if it’s begun to give off the all-too-familiar stink of disingenuous baiting.

#did I write this?#Harry Styles #queerbaiting discourse #he's going to have to shit or get off the pot at some point

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obserfdom · 5 years ago

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Taylor Swift, A Real Person Inside Celebrity Attire

I wanna have a break for awhile in speculating about Taylor Swift' sexuality/relationship and dedicate this writing solely focusing on her as a person.

Honestly, I've never a big fans of her. Nor to any other celebrities out there. I am always a casual listener to any music. And very seldom I attentively scrutinizing song lyrics. But falling to Kaylors fandom inevitably forced me to dig more about Taylor Swift. I was very much surprise knowing how popular she is, or how successful she is building up an empire of 'devotees'. She is a queen in almost every sense.

But only through knowing how relatable her character is to ourselves as a non celebrity that truly inspiring and gradually takes me to grow a soft-tenderness feeling toward her. And like a teen swiftie, I can't help to echo their praise: "I love you, Taylor Swift!"

Here, I am just going to copy a relatable normal human being version of Taylor's story from many sources - mostly from people with direct interaction with her, the 'normal' people. If one still deducting flaws out of her personality, after reading these kind of testimonials - well it would speak a lot about who the person is rather than being about Taylor Swift.

***

From Rolling Stone:

We’ve been talking for a while when a boat rows up carrying three teenagers – two girls and a guy. “Oh, my God!” says one of the girls. “Today is my birthday! Can I please take a picture with you?” Swift laughs. “You can, but I don’t know how you’re going to. You’re on a boat, buddy!”

“I’ll get off!” the girl says. “I’ll find a way.” Swift and her bodyguard reach out and help her into the pavilion. “You’re going to make me cry!” she says.

“Is it really your birthday?” Swift asks.

“How old are you?”

“Seventeen,” the girl says.

“Oh, that’s a good year.”

“I know. I’m excited.”

The girl says she lives on Long Island. She and her friends took the train in for the day. “That’s cute,” Swift says. “Are you going to dinner somewhere?”

The girl scrunches up her face. “We were going to . . . Chipotle?”

Swift smiles. She goes to her purse and pulls out a wad of cash – $90, to be exact. “Here,” she says. “Go somewhere nice.”

“Oh, my God,” the girl says. “Thank you!” She climbs back in the boat, and she and her friends paddle off.

Note:

$90 may not be a big number for a celeb like Taylor Swift with an estimated worth around 360 million USD. However, that was probably the only cash she had in hand - and Taylor gave it all to the teen girl she barely knew only cause she probably felt that she could contribute to boost this girl's happiness by adding the teen with more fund to spend on her birthday.

This was not only sweet but it genuinely a very grandeur kindnest.

***

"Is Taylor Swift actually a nice person?" - a question made in Quora:

Anonymous answered it, in May 21th 2018

This post has been a long time coming. I am answering this question anonymously for a number of reasons: 1) I do not wish to inadvertently become tabloid fodder; 2) I do not wish to capitalize on Taylor; 3) I enjoy my relatively normal life; and 4) I believe the anonymity is well-deserved on Taylor’s part. Although Taylor may be able to determine who is writing this, I do not believe such information to be of use to the public. I am sure, if she wished, she could write me a letter and reconnect at anytime. That is her choice to make.

Before Taylor hit it big, Taylor and I spent months emailing back and forth on MySpace. We were the same age with similar tastes in music, similar viewpoints on life, and similar, sarcastic senses of humor. We were both trying to make it in music and grow a fan base. We confided in each other. We trusted each other. We had an ongoing, supportive relationship that helped both of us when we sometimes felt there was nowhere else to turn. Few knew of my coversations with her - but some of Taylor’s closest friends did know they were taking place (they called me “the guy on MySpace,” as it is my understanding Taylor did not tell them my name).

The two of us, still in our teens and miles apart, began writing to each other in short messages at first. We would discuss music, school, and random jokes we would make upon the fly. As time went on, the messages (and their topics) went from short and complimentary to in-depth and personal. We would write messages to one another that, if printed, would be multiple pages long. Looking back, these were the messages of two teenagers trying to find themselves and, in the process, found a friend in one another. We never had expectations, just a supportive friendship with a member of the opposite sex we could not seem to find offline. Although our situations and backgrounds were very different, our similarities closed any gap between us.

During our time messaging, Taylor had hit a rough patch in her life. That may be easy to balk at if you see Taylor as a flawless celebrity rather than the caring and thoughtful person that she is - but the struggle she was experiencing at the time was very real and had its toll on her, a teen trying to find her place. I would do my best to encourage her from a distance and support her as the situation unfolded. Taylor did the same for me. The mutual respect and maturity shared with one another was like nothing else I had experienced. As for Taylor, I believe she felt the same.

Then, something happened. I began to emotionally struggle with the loss of a grandparent who had passed in 2002. As a young person, I had buried the pain for years and did not know how to cope. I had little in terms of a support mechanism in my “real” life. But things were just beginning in Taylor’s career. I thought that my burdens would weigh Taylor down. So, rather than turn to Taylor for support or tell her what happened, I did the only thing sixteen year old me knew how to do… I closed myself off, shut down my MySpace page… and tried to grapple with the experience on my own. To this day, I feel guilty about having left her out in the dark. But I still believe I did the right thing. Taylor had a dream we both shared and it was becoming a reality. I was not about to stand in the way by making her worry about her friend. She was too kind and sweet to me. Strapping her with that type of burden would have been unjustifiable. As fast as I had entered it, I was out of Taylor’s life. If she saw me today, it is unlikely she would recognize me as that guy who was playing country songs. That is not the path my life took.

Fast forward to today and I am a highly educated person who has been able to carve my own path in this world. By any measure, I have been successful for my age. If Taylor were not a celebrity, I believe her story would be much the same.

What you see and hear about Taylor does not scratch the surface or come near the reality. The claims about her doing things for publicity, being an uncaring person, or using others are nowhere near an accurate description of the person I grew to know. Taylor is a kind, caring, compassionate person who wants nothing more than to love and be loved. Her acts of charity are not acts of publicity, they are acts of character. She has earned and deserves her career. Knowing her as I did, I cannot help but believe she often longs for normalcy, anonymity, and questions what it would be like if she were simply Taylor to this day - not the celebrity, but another person who lived life without being subjected to the critiques, comments, and ridicule.

I knew Taylor for Taylor, she was wonderful. In the unlikely event she reads this, I apologize for not writing back and hope she understands why I made that decision. I kicked myself for years - not because of the fame she found, but because of the friend I loss.

Taylor, I am proud of how far you have made it in this world.

Note:

Me and approximately 8.3k Quora-ers agreed that this guys story is genuine.

***

Steve Parr - a quora-er, answered this (from the same Quora page):

I’ve met Taylor Swift twice, both while I was working for Taylor Guitars.

The first time was at the Winter NAMM Show in Anaheim, California. She was there with her father who BEGGED Bob Taylor to let her play on our performance stage. I think she was about 15 at the time. She was nervous and her songs weren’t great, but she was beaming and very appreciative of the time given her.

The second time was when she held her album release party for Fearless (2008) at the Taylor factory in El Cajon, CA. There was a nationwide contest where two people were flown from each state to San Diego to attend the party, get a meet & greet and attend a private concert for a total of about 250 people. I was heavily involved in photography, so the production company hired me to shoot the meet & greet and the concert.

When she arrived at our factory for that event, she came in through the back of our shipping warehouse. As she walked through, she greeted everyone, giving them a long, solid hug while saying “hello”. Now, some of these guys were hardcore warehouse types who were dirty and sweaty. That didn’t matter to Swift. She didn’t have to do what she did, but she did it. I thought that spoke highly of her character.

So, yeah, she’s really a nice person…

Note:

If you familiar with Emotional Intelligence, Daniel Goleman, you probably remember the first few pages about "bus driver" story. This guy spread the joy with his inert kindnest. He was the example of emotional intelligence that Goleman referred to.

Reading the above testimony remind me of the bus driver. If you think Taylor Swift doesn't atleast possess a lil of EI, then I think you need to re-think about how you view the world - and start to trust humanity act of kindnest again.

***

Final thought:

Really I could copy paste dozen of testimonials out there about Taylor Swift. Esp from fans who lucky enough to meet her in person during secret sessions. They are not only being loyal to Taylor because they led by 'blindness' by Taylor's charm - but more because I could see that Taylor had touched their heart with her genuinely nice behaviours. Treating her fans as in the highest value, is one of Taylor's rare quality as human being.

Not to mention, Taylor has been involved in many charitably acts through out the years - a very good role model not only to youth but to all of us in general. I could say that her parents have raised her well and influenced her to continue being grounded.

Oh yes, I am fully aware that Taylor Swift is mere human with all the flaws and far from perfection - and I have no doubt that she awares of it too - nevertheless, if one lacking in appreciation toward others and only focus in finding every lil dirts, as haters would be, well that speaks more about them compare to the object of their rants. That just like one unconsciously noticed their own version of 'elephant in the room', but rather than face it - they cowardly projecting it to other. And public figure, esp a sweet lollipop like Taylor, sadly always an easy target achery.

Xxx

#taylor swift #swifties #taylorswift #testimonials about taylor swift #haters #taylor lurking #i love you tay tay

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lovemesomesurveys · 6 years ago

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What’s your hair like? A mess. It’s long, wavy, and a mix of my natural dark brown hair and the red that I dye it because it’s been several months since I’ve gotten my hair done and my roots are very overgrown. It also needs a trim. Is there someone you can’t help but stare at? Alexander Skarsgard. How do you feel about teenagers claiming to be in love? It’s hard for me to understand because I can’t imagine feeling that at such a young age and I kind of feel like it’s easy to get caught up in the emotions and lust due to hormones, and I wonder if they know what it really means, but who am I to say what they feel? To them it’s real, they’re the ones feeling it. Plus, I’m almost 30 and I’m not sure I even really know what it means or if I’ve ever actually been in love. I thought so, but I’m not so sure now. Are you dating anyone? If so, for how long? No. Do you believe in long distance relationships? They work for some people. I’ve never had one.

Do you have unlimited texting? Yes, even though I hardly ever text. What’s your favorite button on the keyboard? All the ones I use. Do you like your handwriting? No, it’s awful. Your biggest fear? Losing my loved ones, dying, never amounting to anything or never doing anything with my life, things getting worse or never getting better... What’s on your walls? Some posters/paintings and decals. Do you like perfume? Yeah, some. Are you a guy or a girl? Girl. Do you prefer to have girls as friends or guys? I don’t really have a preference. If we vibe, we vibe. What’s the top thing you look for in a S.O.? Someone who is patient, understanding, caring, and kind are especially important to me. Last words you heard and from who? My mom saying “goodnight.” Why do people cheat on each other? There’s a variety of reasons.

What’s your favorite brand of pencil? I don’t have one. Do you wake up by an alarm clock? If so, isn’t the BEEEEEP annoying? Yes, but it’s not a “BEEEEEP”, it’s something I chose from the options on my phone. It’s like an instrumental song type one. The last song you listened to? I have Señorita by Shawn Mendes and Camilla Cabello stuck in my head. The person you go to for advice? If anyone, my mom. Are you one of those people who just HAS to vent to somebody in some form? No. I don’t like doing that with people. I hate burdening others with my stuff and unloading on them, so I don’t do it much. I save that mostly for surveys and Twitter. Do you have Myspace, facebook, and myyearbook? I have all 3, but only my Facebook is active. I haven’t used Myspace or myyearbook in like 10 years, myyearbook even longer, but my account still exists out there. I don’t recal using myyearbook much, I think I just signed up to check it out. How do you feel about avril lavigne? I like some of her songs. I haven’t listened to her music in awhile, though. I wonder what happened to her. Don’t you hate it when people don’t say your name right? Nah. Now and then someone will mispronounce my last name, which I don’t understand, but I don’t hate it. It rarely happens. Have you heard of Paramore? If not, look them up. :) Yes, I’ve known of them for years. I actually saw them in concert once as well. Who’s your favorite sibling? I don’t like choosing favorites when it comes to family members. I’m closer to my younger brother. Favorite Parent? I’m closer to my mom. What do you want to do for a living? I don’t know. :/

Do you know anyone with down syndrome? No. Does anyone you know have a birthday this week? Mine is tomorrow. What do you think of the middle name ‘Jane’? I don’t think anything about it. What’s your favorite name in the opposite gender? Alexander. Can you keep eye contact with everyone? I find it awkward to hold it too long at once, like I’ll look away for a bit and then look back and so on. What color are your eyes? Brown. Do you curl or straighten your hair? It’s been like 3 years at least since I last straightened my hair myself. When I get my hair done my hair stylist straightens it, but it’s been almost a year since I got my hair done. :X Pro-life or pro-choice? Why? What shape is your favorite bowl? Bowl shape? Did you know the Salvation army was a church, too? I think I’ve heard that before. I hate winter. What’s your least favorite season? Ugh, SUMMER.

Do you know the difference between a hoodie and a jacket with a hood? A hoodie is more thin/lightweight. Do you belive in 'hating’ anyone? I don’t hate anyone. Do you like Twilight? I was really into it when the books were still coming out and then the movies, but I outgrew it. Do you know the difference between loving someone and being in love? Yes. I’m not in love with a family member, but I love them. What animal that is endangered is your favorite? Giraffes. :( How do you believe the Earth and life on it was created? God. What’s your religion? Christianity. How many fingers do you have? * 10 (dont u come @ me w that “”“thumbs”“” bullsh*t either, lmao. They'are ALL fingers) <<<< Hahah. I say the same thing. Don’t get all technical with me! What about toes? 10. Do you like your teeth? No. Do you need glasses or contacts? I wear glasses. Have you considered getting contacts that change your eyecolor? What color? It’s cool, but the idea of putting in contacts freaks me out. I also prefer wearing glasses anyway. Do you have allergies? Yes. Have you ever made a quiz? Don’t you love it when you’re on a roll? Once, a long time ago. Like pre-Tumblr days. What time zone are you in? Pacific. Do you wish you lived some where else? Yes. Sometimes don’t you wish you could move away and start over? Yes, but unfortunately my problems would follow me. It would be nice to live somewhere else, though. I hate this city. What’s the craziest color you’ve seen on a house? I’ve seen pink, yellow, purple, and blue houses. Do you like the name Trevor? Eh. How do you pronounce Bzoink? Biz-oink. Is Taylor Swift better than the rest of the teen singers? I’m not a fan of Taylor Swift. What time will it be in 3 hours and 2 minutes? 7:14AM. What’s your favorite brand of cereal? General Mills, Kellogs, and Post. Do you like to read? Yes. What’s your GPA? I’m doneeee with school. Isn’t annoying when you’re friends are different around different people? Depends on how they’re being different. I did have a friend who was completely different and not in a good way. Do you want a phone with a keyboard? I have a touch screen phone. Do you go to church but you aren’t sure if you believe in God? I don’t go to church right now, but I do believe in God. What grade are you in? I’m done with school, remember? Are you shorter then most of your friends? Yes, all of them. Do you prefer a S.O. older or younger? By how much? A bit older. Like up to 5 years at most, I’d say. I just feel like the older I get; though, the harder it’ll be to find someone. I’m almost 30, but I feel so...stunted and behind in life. Someone in their mid 30s would likely be in a much different place in life and be further ahead. I don’t know if they’d want to date me with where I am in life. Do you like popcorn? I love movie theater buttered popcorn. I also love this garlic parm seasoning I get put on it at this one theater we go to. SO good. Why does corn get chewed up but come out in the original form? Ew. Are you pessimistic or optimistic? Very pessimistic. What number do you think you’re on? I’m not counting. That was # 76. What’s your bestie’s name? Was it really? Wow. Anyway, her name is Yolanda. What size shoe do you wear? 6 in women’s. Do you like lollipops? Nah. Don’t you hate the texture of lotion on your skin? No. Well, unless it’s like greasy. Favorite movie? I have a lot. How many words per minute do you type? I don’t know. Do you think it’s possible to meet your bestie online? I don’t have a bestie online. Do you blog or write in a journal? This is my blog and journal. Isn’t health class annoying? I didn’t find it annoying. Who’s your favorite teacher, if any? What internet browser do you use? Chrome. Isn’t it weird to like having butterflies? No? The good butterfly feeling is nice, like the kind you get when you’re excited or you like someone. What’s the longest flower name you can think of? *shrug* What year were you born in? 1989. What time is it, backwards? 91:4. If you had to shorten your name to 4 letters, what would it be? Step. Sam; a femine name or a male name? Whatever. What’s the prettiest cat you have seen? All the cats I’ve ever seen.

#personal #text #survey #surveys

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thankyouforcomingtomytaytalk · 6 years ago

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Beyond the 1989 Era

Something that I’ve always liked to talk about are the different eras that we’ve had with Taylor’s albums, as each has its own vibe, style and features. Like everybody else, I do have my favorites and least favorite eras, but most importantly, I’ve always ended up ranking them with the same criterion: Tay’s emotional and personal state at the moment of the era.

Something that I think that NEEDS to be clarified is that for me ERA and MUSIC are SEPARATE entities. That means: I might like the era more than I like the music or I like the music but don’t like the era, for example.

My favorite ERA so far has been the Rep era because I see a HAPPY Taylor that took back the narrative, found her prince charming and surrounded herself with the ones that truly love her.

Now, the least favorite... When I say the 1989 era is my least favorite one, everyone gives me funny looks and then all I hear is:

“That era was EPIC”

“Tay’s style was ON POINT”

“The 1989 tour was the ABSOLUTE BEST!“

“The squad!!!“

“Bleachella!!!“

“The songs are ALL masterpieces“

And so on...

If I may confess, I LOVED the 1989 era at the time.

Taylor at that exact moment was everything that I craved and aspired to be since I was younger. She was EVERYWHERE, all her songs were hits and 1989 was everyone’s favorite album. She had lots of friends that were gorgeous and famous, she had a handsome boyfriend (although I never really liked that guy for her), her body, outfits and hair were #Goals for me (except for #Bleachella... man how much I hated that...), she was winning tons of awads and was everybody’s friend...

And then the storm came.

Tay ended up being dragged into a vicious circle of someone elses lies, fights and drama. People that had come around with 1989 disappeared and turned their backs to her. Tay was still everywhere, but not for the same good reasons.

Everything good that she had done was overshadowed and destroyed, her love relationship ended, some of her new found friends left, the bad blood and the paparazzis were everywhere. Now that I look back, it was truly too much for a person to take, and still many of us did not notice... and suddenly she disappeared.

I do not remember what I was doing during that hiatus where Tay was not anywhere to be seen. I personally decided to give all the drama surrounding Tay a cold shoulder, because in the end, they were all gossips and drama and lies and if I am proud of something is that even though I don’t know Taylor personally (but I hope I can someday) I KNOW her better than any of these people that are claiming to report their idea of the truth.

“She’s taking some time, she’s resting, she needs time.” That’s what I repeated myself and to everyone else. She was dragging the weight of a reputation that was thrown to her to the point were it was way too much and she needed to take her time to sort things out and clean up the mess.

I never feared that she would retire and buy a bunch of land somewhere choosing rose garden over Madison Square. And meanwhile there were hundreds leaving and saying “Taylor Swift is over, LET’S PARTY, her career is OVER”, I took my stand:

“She was there for me when I needed. When she comes back, I’ll be here for her”

I know what is it to feel lonely, not belonging, out of place, strange, rejected, socially awkward and so on. That was the main reason why I felt so related to dear Taylor Swift and the main reason I decided to become a fan, so when I saw her turning into the foil character of that Taylor that felt alone and into this Taylor that was everything that she once wanted to be and that I wanted to be way before, I followed blindly, bought into this idea of being cool and having tons of friends and being accepted and “loved” by everyone, just like Tay probably did.

I feel horrible with myself when I hear Tay talk about that era or that particular time in her life saying that she feels terrible because she turned into someone else, that she was way too skinny, underweight and that left her exhausted after every show, how her love life, personal life and career colided and left her drained and destroyed, how she thought that she WAS over and that no one would show up for her. In summary: She was NOT happy...

I may be wrong, but from what Tay says when talking about this time in her life, I feel like Tay was “playing to be someone in order to reach the standars society had put on her in the shape of a heavy crown”. She had lost herself.

When I think about the 1989 era it is IMPOSSIBLE for me to separate it from all the caos and Tay’s feelings. Yes, there were also good things from that era, good friends were also in the picture, first woman to win Album of the Year twice, some good songs...

On the back of my mind I always think that while she was looking great for the public eye, she was crumbling inside. But well, life always sends us lessons through experiences.

When she came back, I -and all my fellow swifties of course- received her with our arms and hearts wide open, like greeting a childhood friend or a sister that was coming back from college or a long trip, and she was better than she ever was.

And then comes why I LOVE the Rep era so much: It was the first time that I saw Tay genuinely HAPPY and at peace with her life. She found a love that was TRULY something, not just the idea of something, she took control of the narrative, she looked around and saw herself surrounded REAL friends, and suddenly all was well, the storm had passed and it left a shinny, colorful, beautiful rainbow behind.

And that guys, is why I CANNOT wait for the Next Chapter :)

As long as Tay is happy, so am I.

@taylorswift @taylornation

- love love love - Viv

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talkurtalk · 7 years ago

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Hi here have a rant because I’m emotional in this Chili’s tonight:

It’s been a long, rough ride these past 16 months for me. Yes, I mean the entirety of 2017 and the beginning of 2018. My life’s been a rollercoaster of emotions and events that I wouldn’t wish on anyone, but I’ve gotten through it and now I’m hopeful for the future largely in part to one Miss Taylor Swift.

Firstly there’s the fact that I’m a sophomore (soon to be junior) in high school, and as anyone who is/has ever been a sophomore (soon to be junior) in high school will tell you: that is never easy on its own. I’m switching to a different school for next year because the school I’m at now just wasn’t working out. I’ve met some absolutely wonderful people, but the stress of always being too smart or not smart enough, or too good or not good enough has taken its toll. As anyone who’s ever met me could tell you; I don’t do molds, labels, or boxes, and when you live in a small farm town in the middle of the USA, you’re expected to fit into a mold, label, and box. Overall I guess I’m just glad that this chapter in my life is ending, even though I’ll definitely miss seeing some of my friends’ faces every day. Here’s to my new school being better, as they claim to be.

Next, things get a bit more emotional... so brace yourselves. I don’t like to talk about this with people face to face, in fact I refuse to talk about it, so what’s my solution? Put it on the internet for a bunch of strangers to read. Because logic. And because eventually I’ll tie everything in to involve Taylor Swift, like most everything I say, because I have a HUGE thank you to put into words.

Approximately 9 years ago my mother was diagnosed with a terminal cancer called Carcinoid Cancer. I don’t know exactly how long they predicted she would live, but I just knew that there was no curing it, only treating it and keeping it under control for as long as possible. (After all I was 7 or 8, so I really didn’t fully understand what was happening at the time, just that my mom had cancer). I never had a great relationship with my mother, and some of the fault was definitely mine, because I was a snotty little pre-teen for 5 of those 9 years who was going through the “oh my god mom, stop embarrassing me” phase. Every day I really wish I would’ve stopped and realized how wonderful my mother was before now, but I can’t go back and undo things, and frankly I’m still trying to get to the point where I can be okay with that, but It’ll just take some time.

I’ll admit I don’t really want to share many details about how things progressed over those 9 years, I apologize for that, but it just makes me a bit uncomfortable to talk about. Just know that things progressively got worse, as they do with terminal diseases.

My mother was admitted to the hospital on August 24, 2017 after the second time last year that her liver basically shut down because of the cancer. (The first was in January, but she had seemed alright after that) My dad had been out of town on a business trip, so I ended up spending the majority of the night at the hospital with my mom and some close family friends (I don’t have any siblings and our closest biological family lives halfway across the country). He flew in right away and got to the hospital at 3 in the morning on August 25.

My mom spent the next full day in the hospital, then the next night and was released the morning after that. To put it frankly, she had been alert enough in the hospital to tell us that she wanted to be at home for her end. The weekend of August 26th and 27th, my dad and I stayed home with my mom and had multiple of hers and our friends stop by. I went to bed that Sunday night expecting to go to school like normal the next day, and well, let’s just say when I expect things to be normal, weird shit happens.

My dad woke me up at 6:45 am on Monday August 28 to tell me that my mom had passed away. See, I’ve never been good at handling my emotions, so I didn’t cry right away, but I just kind of hugged him while he cried. There were PLENTY of tears from me in the following months- and I am so grateful for my dad for being there for me during the really bad days I had.

For any of you swities with really good memories, you’ll recall that at midnight on the night of August 24 Look What You Made Me Do was released. While it might seem like the absolute opposite of a comforting song in my situation, I really, truly think that it helped me get through that weekend more than anything else. At that time it was just so amazing to hear something new from Taylor, the person who I have looked up to for so long, and to have it be something so different. Plus, it’s the perfect angry song, and I’ll have you know that I was pretty angry at the universe during and after that weekend. I still am, but to a lesser degree.

As the next single was released (...Ready For It?), and then the entirety of reputation, I discovered this new album and this new Taylor who had risen up from the dead proud, fierce, and happier than she’s ever been. This new Taylor who was a survivor, a real human person, and a goddess all at the same time.

One of the few things that I allowed my mother and I to have a common interest in was Taylor Swift. (Yes, I actually didn’t allow myself to like things that I love because my mother liked them. I was a horrible little pre-teen to others as well as myself). I was pretty late to the swiftie party, as I really started listening to and enjoying Taylor’s music when I first listened to Red in 2012, but when 1989 came out I was full-on obsessed. My mom really liked the album too and was glad that Taylor was my biggest role model over some of the other celebrities that she didn’t really care for. My mom and dad surprised me with tickets to the 1989 tour stop in Denver, and I cannot tell you how excited and happy I was. My mom didn’t end up going with me, because she’s never been a huge fan of arena concerts, but she was always down to watch the 1989 World Tour Live video with me when we had Apple Music for a year or so.

I guess my point is that reputation is really important to me because of its timing and overall message. Taylor is doing better than she ever was- she survived the fires and floods of the past few years and has grown stronger because of what she’s been through. If she can survive and thrive after all of that, I can too. And, when it comes to timing, there was possibly no better time for me that this album could’ve been announced and released. I honestly could not tell you where I would be today without @taylorswift and reputation.

You empowered me to keep going Tay, and I am eternally grateful to you for that. You were one of the only connections between my mother and I as well, and in a way you still are. I can’t think of any of your songs without thinking of how excited or exasperated my mom’s reaction was when I played it for the millionth time. Or about how she would sing along ridiculously to Shake It Off and How You Get The Girl and All You Had To Do Was Stay, and I would roll my eyes and be embarrassed, but it was some of the best times I had with her.

On a more light-hearted note, it has been so wonderful to see how much you’ve grown as the reputation era progresses Miss Taylor. The reason I’m writing all this up randomly on a Sunday night at almost midnight is because of how happy and grown-up you looked at the Billboard Awards tonight. I don’t know why you winning those two awards triggered all these emotions in me, but it did, so here I am writing this now. Thanks to you, I think I’m starting to heal, and I know I’ve grown, even if it’s not exactly in the ways you have. I’ve never been in love, and I’ve never had a long list of ex-lovers, but somehow I know what it feels like to be ferociously angry, happy, excited, sad and loved, and I know I have you to thank for helping me put it all into words over the years.

So, from the bottom of my heart, body, and soul,

Thank You, Taylor Swift.

@taylorswift @taylornation

#hi i'm crying in the good way #i promise #i'm just having a slight emotional crisis #and so i'm on tumblr because i'm always on tumblr #and i love you guys #and i love you taylor #and now I'M JUST CRYING MORe

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anne-wentworth · 7 years ago

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Something About Her

Chapter 5- This is Halloween

Donna drags Harvey to a Halloween party.

Read on ao3

Chapter 1 2 3 and 4

One of the many things that Harvey had learned about Donna Paulsen was that she loved Halloween.

He wasn’t surprised because of...well her entire personality.

However, he wasn’t much of a fan of the holiday himself.

Donna was absolutely mortified when she found out.

“First Shakespeare now Halloween? Why am I even friends with you?” she had asked exasperatedly.

“Because of my good looks and charm,” Harvey grinned, to which Donna responded with a very undignified snort.

But because she was Donna and he was Harvey he let her convince him to go with her to some Halloween party that a friend of a friend was hosting.

Another thing he had learned about her was that she had a lot of friends.

His own friend, Jared, had laughed mercilessly at him when Harvey complained about the party during class.

“God you’re so fucked.”

Harvey hadn’t even bothered to respond because there was nothing he could say.

He was fucked.

Yet, he didn’t really care. He knew that he would happily follow Donna anywhere if she asked but it didn’t bother him one bit. After all, she was worth it.

“God you’re such a nerd,” was first thing Donna said upon laying eyes on his Han Solo getup as she opened the door.

Harvey felt every ounce of oxygen leave his body as he took in Donna in her black dress and red lipstick. Her hair was in an updo, showing off the perfect angles of her face and allowing the light to hit the glittering earrings she wore. Audrey Hepburn couldn’t have done it better herself.

“You’re a theatre kid,” he countered as soon as he found his tongue.

Donna glared at him so hard he was surprised he didn’t drop dead.

With a huff, she turned on her heel after loudly shutting the door and began walking away from her dorm, as well as him.

“Oh come on!” Harvey called out as he chased after her. “I’m sorry!”

Donna ignored him, continuing to walk at a pace that should not be possible for someone wearing heels.

“Please forgive me,” he implored, shooting her his most innocent smile.

With a sigh, she stopped, turning to face him.

“You know that Specter charm you’re always talking about is non-existent right?”

“No you’re just Donna and it doesn’t work on you because you’re a superior human being.”

“Flattery will get you everywhere,” Donna said as she poked his chest, the corners of her mouth quirking up.

“I know,” Harvey replied with a smirk of his own.

“You’re such an idiot.”

“You’re friends with an idiot.”

“You’re my idiot,” she said and his heart jumped out of his goddamn chest.

“Come on let’s go,” Donna added as she began walking again.

Harvey followed her with a spring in his step and a grin on his face that remained for the entirety of their journey.

Leaning against a wall, Harvey watched Donna swaying on the makeshift dance floor with a few friends as the latest Taylor Swift single blasted in the background.

She had tried to convince him to join her but he claimed that him dancing was something no one ever needed to witness. For the moment she let him be but he knew she would soon return with those pleading eyes and eventually he’d relent.

“Never thought I’d see you here.”

Harvey turned in the direction of the familiar voice and found himself staring at Poison Ivy.

“I could say the same thing,” he replied.

Sara hated Halloween more than anyone he knew.

“My girlfriend dragged me,” she nodded towards a blonde dressed as Harley Quinn who was talking to a guy in a french fry costume.

Harvey had to give him points for originality.

“What brings you here? Or should I say who?” she asked.

He pointed at Donna who was laughing loudly at something and a smile automatically graced his features.

“She’s just a friend though,” he said.

“Oh please,” Sara scoffed. “You’ve been staring at her like a creep for the past twenty minutes. If she’s just a friend then I’m Beyoncé.”

“You know if you paid this much attention in class I wouldn’t have kicked your ass at our last mock trial,” Harvey stated.

He couldn’t exactly deny that he hadn’t been staring at Donna but it hadn’t been for twenty whole minutes.

“Don’t insult me just to change the topic. Also the next time that we go up against each other I’m going to wipe the floor with your sorry ass.”

“You keep telling yourself that.”

“Fuck off Harvey.”

It crossed his mind then that he should introduce Sara to Donna. Something told him that they would get along great.

He flashed her a smile in response and she flipped him off before stalking off towards her girlfriend.

Turning his attention back towards the dance floor, he caught sight of a guy in a shitty vampire costume with a grip on Donna’s arm.

Richard.

Filled with curiosity after Donna had stumbled into his room, Harvey did a little research. And even with fake blood smeared all over his face, Harvey was able to recognize her ex.

Donna’s eyes were filled with fire as she stared him down.

Without even thinking, Harvey began making his way towards them, anger quickly coursing through his veins.

“Let me go,” Donna’s voice was dangerously low.

“I just want to talk,” Richard slurred.

“She said let her go,” Harvey stated venomously as he planted himself next to the pair.

Moving to look at Harvey, a grin spread across Richard’s face. He dropped Donna’s arm and held up his own hands in front of him in a gesture of mock surrender.

“Sorry man,” he said. “Didn’t realise she was yours now.”

Richard then looked at Donna before directing his question at her.

“So Donna, aren’t you gonna introduce me to the newest guy you’re fucking?”

Harvey was aware of Donna’s hand balled up at her side and he was pretty sure she was going to punch him.

He wanted her to punch him.

However, before he knew what was happening, his own first was colliding with her ex boyfriend’s face. Time seemed to slow down as he watched the asshole fall to the floor, real blood spurting from his nose.

Every pair of eyes in the room was suddenly glued to the three of them.

“I’m Harvey Specter,” he announced, looking down at the drunken heap who was struggling to simply sit up.

Even with the music playing, the entire room would be able to hear a pin drop. Everyone had stopped what they were doing to get a full view of the show.

“Want to get out of here?” Harvey asked softly as he switched his focus back to Donna.

He would never admit it but the multitude of attention unnerved him a bit.

“Yes,” she breathed, clasping her hand in his.

Just like that, everything was okay again.

So they quickly made their escape, fingers entwined as they ignored the stares and whispers that followed their every move because no one else mattered but them.

It wasn’t long before they found themselves in the middle of campus, a chilly autumn wind whipping their skin as the moonlight blanketed them.

“Okay that was awesome,” Donna spoke after a while. “But I gotta admit I’m a little pissed that you punched him before I could.”

A burst of laughter escaped from within Harvey.

“I’m sorry for stealing your moment,” he apologized.

“It’s okay,” she sighed. ��Like I said, it was awesome so I can’t be too mad.”

Harvey smiled in response as they made their way over to one of the benches nearby.

As soon as they were sitting, Donna began pulling out all of the clips buried in her hair, letting her auburn waves tumble down her shoulders. She deposited the million bobby pins into her purse, all the while grumbling about how that damn hairstyle was giving her a headache.

“How’s your hand?” Donna inquired suddenly.

“It’s fine,” he answered.

She shot him a look before gently tugging at his wrist to bring his hand on her lap. A frown settled on her features as she took in the slightly purple bruises that were already beginning to form at his knuckles.

“It really is fine,” he said softly. “It’s not the first time I’ve punched someone.”

Donna’s eyebrows shot up.

“Care to elaborate?”

“I’ve just been in a few fights in high school,” Harvey explained. “Besides I box so there’s that.”

“You box?” she asked almost incredulously. “How did I not know that?”

“Well I haven’t in a while,” he shrugged. “I don’t usually have a lot of time once the semester picks up and school starts kicking my ass.”

“Huh.”

“What?”

“Nothing.”

“Donna,” Harvey said as he stared at her.

“It’s kinda hot,” she eventually mumbled and Harvey blinked because he didn’t follow.

“The boxing thing,” she added.

“Really?”

This time it was his turn to raise his eyebrows.

Donna nodded.

“Huh.”

“No other girl’s ever told you that?” she asked, a trace of amusement in her tone. “I’m pretty sure it’s a universal thing.”

“It’s not exactly something that comes up in a lot of conversations,” he replied drily.

“Well now you know.”

Harvey didn’t tell her that the only girl he wanted to impress was her.

“Are you okay?” he asked abruptly. “I mean the whole Richard thing...”

As usual, he trailed off, unsure of exactly what he wanted to say. No one made him tongue tied like Donna Paulsen.

“I’m fine,” she said firmly. “He’s just kind of a jerk when he drinks. Well more so than usual.”

The frown that settled on her expression made Harvey want to find the piece of shit in question and hit him again.

“I always knew he was asshole,” she stated quietly, more to herself than him. “But he was nice to me. And because I’m stupid I fell for him. Until one day he wasn’t so nice anymore.”

“You’re not stupid,” Harvey objected.

Donna gave him a doubtful look in return.

“You’re not.”

Silence filled the space around them before she spoke again.

“He taught me that I should fall in love with someone who’s nice to everyone. At least I learned something.”

She shrugged, trying to keep her voice light but Harvey could see the hint of sadness in her eyes.

Suddenly, he rose from his seat to stand in front of her, holding out his hand.

“What are you doing?” she asked in confusion.

“We never got a chance to dance back at the party,” he answered.

“You were one who turned me down.”

“I didn’t feel like making a fool of myself in front of everyone,” he defended himself.

“And now?”

“You already know I’m a fool.”

Donna laughed in agreement before accepting his outstretched hand.

He pulled her towards him, his heart beating a thousand miles per second in his chest. He wrapped his arms around her waist as she threw hers around his neck and the whole world stood still.

“You know this isn’t the kind of dancing that was going on at the party. And there isn’t any music-”

“Shh,” Harvey interrupted.

“Did you just shush me?”

“Mhm.”

She shot him one of her threatening looks and he flashed her a smile in reply.

“This is the cheesiest thing I’ve ever done,” she said.

“You really know how to ruin a moment don’t you?”

“Excuse you. I make moments.”

“You’re not making this one,” he quipped.

Donna huffed, filling him with amusement.

All of a sudden, she rested her head on his shoulder as her arms tightened around his neck.

Everything in him stilled.

His eyes fell shut as he buried his nose in her hair, inhaling the scent of her flowery shampoo.

This was the cheesiest thing he had ever done too.

He had become a total fucking sap but he didn’t mind at all.

Donna and Harvey swayed to the sound of the leaves rustling in the breeze as the sky looked down on them and the stars eavesdropped on their heartbeats.

It had never been easier for him to breathe.

Everything around them faded away as he lost himself in this moment.

He dreaded when it would end and they would need to say goodnight and part ways.

But for now, they existed. They were light and laughter and everything that was good in the world.

In that instant, they were perfect.

#darvey #darvey fanfiction #darvey fic #darvey au #donna x harvey #mine

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28allthelove28 · 7 years ago

Text

Essay on Fandom and Obsession (One Direction & Fionn Whitehead mainly)

I think it is vital to not make people feel guilty for the things that they enjoy. It is also important to realise that everyone gets obsessed with stuff, and it’s not a bad thing.

Fandom can often be seen as being predominantly young girls screaming and crying over young boys, and apparently that is not cool. At least a lot of people seem to think it is not cool, but that attitude is wrong. Yes, teenage girls have been freaking out over young men since before Beatlemania, but intense fandom and excessive love for your idol is by no means exclusive to young girls. Think of Morrissey. Grown men devote their lives to worshiping him. I’ve witnessed hard, tough, old men in tears, covered in Smiths tattoos, shouting every lyric out at a Morrissey gig, and no one batted an eye. It’s great! David Bowie inspired generations of working class lads to dye their hair bright orange and go out wearing glittery make up. Loads of men really idolise Oasis. Everybody loves Radiohead. I’m one of the proud and devoted thousands who flock in their Goth uniform to see The Cure perform every couple of years, and hopefully I always will be. The best moment of my life was my last Cure gig, and I’m very happy about that. Of course, fan girls don’t just like male musicians, a lot of girls like Beyoncé, Taylor Swift and Little Mix, so do a lot of boys. Lads also like Justin Bieber as well as girls. Maybe it is naïve, unnecessary and problematic to even consider fandom in terms of gender, especially in terms of only two genders.

To mention fan fiction, I bought a book from Rough Trade Records which was part of a series of works inspired by different musicians. It was a short story which the author imagined after listening to the album Dry by PJ Harvey. It may not be classed as conventional fan fiction per say, due to Polly Harvey not being directly featured in the story, but each chapter began with the first lyric of Polly’s song, in order of the album tracklist. Something creative and imaginative was born from an enjoyment of music, it was wonderful. And fandom is obviously not just music orientated, thousands of people are obsessed and devoted to football. I couldn’t even count the amount of Newcastle United Football Club tattoos I’ve seen. Game Of Thrones, Star Wars and Harry Potter have enormous fan bases too. The Great British Bake Off is huge, so are specific YouTubers, make-up brands, celebrities like the Kardashians, fashion brands, games, and phone apps. There are so many areas of fandom and obsession, when you begin to think about it. I may have glossed over and simplified some things but these serve as only a few brief examples, out of many, of how diverse and wonderful fandom can be.

Being a fan is clearly by absolutely no means just young females liking young male singers, and it probably is problematic to think so. Perhaps why it can initially seem that way, to me anyway, may be because a girl obsessing over a boy has been my personal experience, and in contemporary culture today, the media really does like to mock girls like me. To focus on One Direction in particular, because that is my biggest obsession, and is most relevant to this discussion, many journalists enjoy frequently claiming that all One Direction fans are hysterical, naive 12 year old girls, who want to sleep with the band, and only like them because they’re pretty. When in fact, not only is that disrespectful to any 12 year old 1D fans, but many fans have grown up with One Direction and are around the same age as them, if not much older. Many One Direction fans don’t fancy the band whatsoever, many 1D fans are boys, many fans are gender fluid, and all the fans that I’ve interacted with genuinely love 1D’s music and respect the band members. Yes, there are some people who sexualise, worship, and disrespect One Direction, but tabloid journalists can often only focus on that side of things.

I think it is important to highlight more so, that a vast portion of the One Direction fandom are part of the LGBTQ+ community, and through 1D and their fans, feel loved, supported, understood, welcomed, included and inspired to be strong and proud. A lot of One Direction concerts are full of rainbow flags, which then get shown on the big screen, signed by Louis, and worn by Harry. Harry has ‘liked’ Instagram posts encouraging people to “Support feminine boys” and Louis has even corrected Harry when he accidentally misgendered a fan. A vast portion of the 1D fandom, myself included, genuinely believe that Harry and Louis are in love, and have been in a secret relationship for years, and we completely support them. (I have a separate essay on this.) I talked about this recently with a lecturer in queer art history, who also believes in Larry, and is in awe at the level of visual analysis ‘Larries’ have undertaken to examine Harry and Louis’ complimentary couple tattoos.

Harry has inspired young boys to wear nail polish because, until seeing him do it, they “Didn’t know boys were allowed.” Again, I don’t want to skim over important issues, but I am quickly mentioning the importance of One Direction’s queer community, and Harry challenging gender norms, to disprove the media idea that all 1D fans are just there to sexualise the band. Yes, I and many others do find One Direction very beautiful and sexy, but I don’t want to be their girlfriend or their lover, at most I just want to be their best friend. I want to continue enjoying their music and supporting them as individuals. And so do the majority of fans that I interact with.

The way in which mainstream media represents One Direction fans can make them expect everyone to mock them. However Mark Radcliffe, a radio presenter on 6Music, an alternative station you would never expect to mention One Direction, recently spoke very kindly of Harry Styles and his fans. He saw people queuing to meet Harry, and explained on his show that they were very excited, and “Why wouldn’t they be?” Mark discussed that Harry was doing solo work and even made a feature out of fandom, asking listeners to text in their own experiences of queueing for their idols. Mark kept chatting to Harry’s fans, checking they were ok and he even brought them breakfast. The entire time Mark mentioned Harry and the fans, he spoke sweetly and respectfully and completely normally. This shouldn’t have been refreshing to hear, but it really was. I tweeted to thank Mark for his kindness, to which he ‘liked’ and replied. I simply found this a lovely and heart-warming example of respectable music news outlets treating young pop fans nicely.

Harry Styles himself was even asked about his fan-base being mainly composed of young girls, as if he were supposed to feel embarrassed about that, and he brilliantly commented “Who’s to say that young girls who like pop music – short for popular right? – have worse musical taste than a 30-year-old hipster guy? That’s not up to you to say. Music is something that’s changing… Young girls like the Beatles. You gonna tell me they’re not serious? How can you say young girls don’t get it? They’re our future – our future doctors, lawyers, mothers, presidents, they kind of keep the world going. Teenage-girl fans – they don’t lie. If they like you, they’re there. They don’t act ‘too cool’. They like you, and they tell you.” I really don’t think there is a better way to say it. One Direction fans defend them against the media, but they also correct them if they make mistakes. We are honest.

Louis Tomlinson has also talked about how impressive and “Remarkable” his own fans devotion is, and how endlessly grateful he is for it. Louis has discussed how he’s built up a special relationship with his fans and often credits his success as being a constant “Teamwork” between him and the fans working together, even saying that they deserve managerial, promotion jobs. Niall Horan from One Direction constantly looks out for the safety of his fans as they queue to see him perform, and he even regularly shares photos of letters which he’s handwritten for fans, personally updating them on what he’s been up to. Liam Payne from 1D always remembers to acknowledge special band anniversaries that the fans get involved with, and Zayn Malik frequently shares examples of fan art that his fans have drawn of him. The members of the band which people idolise, equally love and appreciate their fans in return and form a family-like unit together, and it’s lovely.

People have picked up on this and even said that society should be built in a similar way as a fandom; supportive, passionate and communal. A lovely article was written by Aarabelle Sicardi, in which she describes fashion designer Rei Kawakubo as her own Harry Styles. She rightly notes that “Loving people makes you brave.” And that “Fandom is a pure version of this. It’s an ideal receptacle of feelings because you ask for nothing personal in return… fandom gave me bravery and friendship.” She admits that you can often find yourself needing to “Defend” your fandom love, and that people may dismiss the thing you love but the thing you love will never dismiss you. She discusses similar points which I have made that “Fandom lives in every industry if you know where to look…teen girls are always attacked for their fandom regardless: music fandom to outsiders looks uncool, unhinged or wasteful. You might see teen girls crying and holding signs or collecting memorabilia and think it’s too much for something so trivial. But it’s not.” Sicardi quotes Harry’s fans as they describe how he was a gateway to finding their queer community and affirming their own identity, saying that “His existence in the world made them more comfortable with their own…Teen girls are criticized for loving the wrong things and loving them in weird and unproductive ways. But the criticisms couldn’t be more off base. They love things with a brilliance and curiosity that makes them better for it…Teen girls push themselves to learn how to code so they can build beautiful fan-pages and online communities… It helps them build worlds out of their imaginings.” Through writing about One Direction, myself and many other fans have also learnt more about putting forward an argument, gathering information, formatting essays and questioning things. Sicardi ends her article by saying that loving things makes fans smarter and braver, and I agree.

These are all beautiful, empowering things, but for me, being so engaged in a fandom can also mean that I do live inside my head quite a lot, but it’s mostly very nice in there, and I think everyone does that. Everyone imagines things. Everyone enjoys the things they enjoy. Admittedly I probably think that obsessing over famous boys is worse than it actually is. In reality I’ve now learnt that it’s not that bad at all. Yes, loving One Direction, Larry Stylinson and Fionn Whitehead can cause some problems – what if no man in real life can live up to them? What if Larry or ‘Larries’ have set unrealistic expectations of relationships? What if I’m more invested in their wellbeing than my own, and those around me? What if I spend so much time on them that I am ignorant to real world problems? What if their rich and privileged lifestyles have made me greedy and selfish? What if their success being born from luck on a talent show has made me lazy and less ambitious? What if their enormous success at the same age as me has made me value my own progress less? What if their physical beauty and that of the people around them has made me doubt and criticise my own? However, perhaps me thinking that loving a boy band or an actor is damaging and could cause all these issues, is the actual problem. Perhaps the obsession itself is not the problem, but my attitude towards it, an attitude influenced by media shame. Maybe me thinking it’s a problem is the only problem.

In reality, it is fun, and educational, and cultural to discover an actor or a singer. To appreciate a person’s talent and hard work, to notice their good qualities, to learn things from them and from their art, to unashamedly be passionate about something, to meet new people through that shared interest and then learn more things from them. All of that is a positive, and rewarding, and beautiful thing. I just have to keep thinking that until I no longer need to remind myself.

Perhaps this whole essay is my way of justifying to myself that it is ok for me to be obsessed with Fionn Whitehead and One Direction. Of course it is. Life is too short and dramatic to worry about things that you don’t really need to worry about. Life is too short and dramatic to deny yourself what you enjoy. Life is too short and dramatic to be over influenced by other people and their opinions. Life is too short and dramatic to not be proud of who you are and what makes you happy.

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yoongisgoawaydoormat · 8 years ago

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Is it Harry you don't like or how he's been branded since the early 1D days? How the media pegged him as the front man when clearly there 5 great guys in the band? I'm just curious because I like Harry and the four other guys equally in terms of music, even before they started making solo music.

im gonna kinda combine this answer with an anon i should have responded to weeks ago “i've noticed you dislike harry, especially recently with him promoting his new music, but i'm not sure how/why it started exactly. could you explain??”

for me now it’s that i don’t like harry and that’s a position i’ve come to over the course of the past 2-3 years and i think i can break that evolution down into two broad categories: his relation to zayn (both pre- and post-march 2015) and how he has approached going solo (again both pre- and post-1d going on a break).

and what’s most important about these two for me is that it is hard to explain away his actions in these categories as Harry Styles™; these are HIS choices, HIS words, HIS actions thus forcing me to dislike harry styles the person

for the sake of people’s dashes i’m putting a read more, but for those interested i’ve written a novel explaining these categories in more detail below (deadass i just copied it all into word and it’s 1500 words long..... im-.....)

1) how harry relates to zayn

i list his relation to zayn first because i truly believe this says something about his character. he has done things specifically re: zayn that have nothing to do with how he’s been branded in 1d or how the media has portrayed him; his actions that im going to discuss and that have most negatively affected my view of him are all on harry styles the person

it really started in the summer of 2014 when he waved the inflatable hammer of israel around at a concert during a time of heightened tensions between israel and palestine (and by heightened tensions i mean more war crimes and atrocities committed by the apartheid-esque occupational regime of israel). he asked those fans for that hammer, he is the one who has multiple zionist connections and could easily be considered a zionist himself. that’s on harry styles the person. meanwhile zayn tweets #FreePalestine shortly after that and is abused off of twitter. i recognize that the (racist) double standard here is not coming directly from harry but he benefits from it (and always has) and he plays into it and i can’t even imagine how zayn felt as a muslim man having to sit and watch his bandmate get a free pass for supporting a genocidal regime while he is eviscerated for one tweet of support. harry’s role in all this was the first moment i truly began to dislike him as a person

then we have his actions after zayn left. i will never claim to know what went down. im not sure we will ever know the whole ‘truth’ of zayn leaving and i’ve always said there’s shades of grey, no clear right and wrong, good and bad. it was messy but the bottom line is that zayn left (at least in part) because he was in an unhealthy state both mentally and physically and no one deserves that. so for all that the remaining four may have been justifiably hurt, confused, angry, etc. at things we can’t even possibly know about or understand re: zayn leaving, zayn deserves to be happy and healthy and people need to respect that. i do not think harry (nor his fans) respected that or zayn himself at all in the wake of him leaving. harry’s actions during mitam promo was, in my opinon, the most egregious and blatantly disrespectful. all four of them demonstrated sadness and/or bitterness at times but harry’s behavior (such as saying the ‘paperwork’ was the hardest part of z leaving, kicking a z mask off the stage, etc.) came across to me as petty, immature, spiteful and mean-spirited. it was not a spite that i saw in the other three. as a ztan (and also just a decent human?) i lost a lot of respect for harry in those months. i think these actions showed his true colors and those are not colors which i like very much.

also i’ve discussed this a bit on this blog but with the benefit of hindsight i do believe that a lot of those bitter actions re: zayn came from a selfish place of anger at zayn for ‘beating’ him to the solo game and from a place of ‘i’m going to villainize this person in order to make myself look better now and down the line.’ i think that was ‘proven’ for me when the build up for harry’s solo material included a LOT of very intentional mentions and comparisons to zayn. obviously that was something the media and people were going to do anyway but it was to a degree that felt sanctioned and encouraged; i think that comparison and that emphasis of ‘zayn as the evil judas who left, harry as the one who stayed until it was time’ was part of harry and his teams promo strategy (that backfired when SOTT flopped compared to pillowtalk, hence why i think those comparisons in big outlets have ceased, but i digress)... that’s a lot more of my own interpretation and my own reading of the info i have so it’s not as concrete as the stuff above but it does factor into my personal view of harry annnnnd it also connects nicely to my second point

2) his solo approach

now this is a more complex issue, and more of it *could* be attributed to Harry Styles™ but im going to preface my discussion by saying that harry chose his team. he’s been hanging with the azoffs on his personal time since 2013, his friendship with jeff has always been in our faces, he’s very clearly in the driver’s seat of his career at the moment, just as niall and liam appear to be (louis is a different and extremely nuanced conversation). he’s been angling towards his solo career for YEARS and while i don’t necessarily think that in and of itself is a bad thing (everyone in bands esp boy bands does that kind of forward thinking), i think the way he has gone about it is by stepping on his four bandmates in one way or another and i think that’s really fucking shitty. he has leveraged the existing Harry Styles™ frontman, standout image to catapult himself into this weird realm of ‘im above everything, im too cool, im already a legend’ promo.

on top of that kind of broad stroke stuff, some of his specific actions are just......... eye-roll worthy. i mean think about what the FIRST thing he did was after 1D went on a break? yachtgate. you can brush that off as a stunt all you want (and obviously in many ways it was) but it was a stunt that encouraged a certain solo harry narrative. it helped solidify him as the a-lister of the band hanging with jenners on fancy boats. it helped solidify him as a ‘star in his own right’ signing contracts and paperwork with jeff. it was a stunt that HELPED harry.

this is kind of a digression but i do think it’s important to note the nuanced difference between harry and louis’ ‘stunts.’ totally disregarding conversations of ‘real or fake,’ if we look at the major ‘stunts’ harry and louis have undertaken in their careers (and within this im including anything that could be construed as their ‘personal life’ being projected publicly i.e. eleanor, danielle, babygate, taylor swift, kendull jenner, etc.) harry’s stunts have always boosted his public image while louis’ have always hurt his. i know that’s an EXTREMELY broad and generalizing brush to paint with and im not trying to say that harry’s image has always been ‘good’, i remember the womanizer days i cant even imagine how much that hurt him and it sucks. but basically harry’s stunts have always made him more famous, putting him in an increasingly better position to convert Harry Styles™ into solo success. louis’ stunts have consistently done the opposite, giving him a SERIOUS uphill battle when it comes to the general public and mainstream media acknowledging his solo endeavors.

this is a discrepancy that exists between harry and ALL the boys, not just with louis (though the gulf between them is the most... extreme i’d say). harry has always been positioned above liam, niall and zayn too, and what i have a problem with is how that is being leveraged and leaned into rather than dispelled. harry could easily take the approach niall has which is constantly recognizing the good that one direction did for him. even if he didn’t want to be so overt he could have at least tried to be as polite and gracious as zayn was, who while recognizing that he wanted to do his own thing and his own music was very conscious to acknowledge the good bits of 1D. instead we have this weird almost antagonistic approach in his (sparse) interviews wherein it feels like harry treats 1d as this thing that was holding him back, something he is now free of. it’s a pretentiousness that i dont appreciate

the final thing i’ll add in this section is in how he and his team are treating the fans that he does have. i am not one of those people but at times i feel quite bad? and sorry? for harries who are investing their time and money and effort into an artist who seems hell bent on ignoring them. this aloofness is demonstrated on his social media, i mean has he taken time to interact with or thank fans once????? the whole tour ticket debacle sounds horrendous and im sorry for fans that don’t get to go because harry and his team bungled it. there’s just a distinct...... disrespect for the fans he was bringing with him from the 1D days and that’s frustrating.

#good lord this got long and out of hand #im glad to have written it down tho #feel cathartic haha #Anonymous

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