#I’ve kinda had a yes and policy too

[askdoeleaf]

It’s funky cuz I do actually have some lore for demons in doeleafs bg and I know that it could be cool incorporated into others backstories but I don’t wanna SPOIL the werid demon shit doeleaf has going on ALAS -Ryder

[daryascurse]

He Makes His Hot Roommate Suck Him Off!! ~ Eren Jaeger x Reader

In which Eren Jaeger is a pretty scummy roommate...

. . .“I think watching pοrn on the couch is a reasonable thing to bitch about,” you snap. “And yeah. I don’t need to see your dick out on my pillows.”

“I put your pillows on the chair,” Eren says with a short nod of his chin towards the other side of the living room. “You sure, though? I’ve never heard any complaints about my dick.” . . .

version one (scummy eren) || version two (scummy reader)

reader: POV second person, AFAB (*non-specified in part 1, will be specified in part 2), nongendered pronouns ⟡ content: modern AU, scummy sIutty roommate Eren, use of "bitch" as a verb, pοrn, oraI (male recieving), mentions of weed, mutual pining ⟡ wordcount: ~3.3k ⟡ ao3 link ⟡ recommended mood playlist: red velvet cake

ɴꜱꜰᴡ ᴍᴅɴɪ. I have a very strict adult-only interaction policy. Ageless, blank, and clearly minor-run blogs that interact will be blocked. If you have questions about what that means, please read the byf in my pinned post.

Author's note: This is my first time trying an AU as someone who usually is glued to canon..! It's a fever dream that hit me drifting off to sleep the other night and has consumed me since. I almost wanted to make it so Mikasa and Armin are the pοrnstars he’s watching but I don’t want it taken as an insult to them (just a fun little hey-there) so I did not.

“Ah! Oh my god yes – fuck – fuck! ”

The sound of it is unmistakable, embarrassingly unmistakable as you stand frozen in the foyer with shoes half-kicked off. You squeeze your eyes closed and wordlessly thank whatever cosmic force gave you the good sense not to invite your friend into your home today. Because your roommate, Eren Jaeger, is slouched in the corner of the sofa watching pοrn on his phone. 

Normally, he’s just a kinda bad housemate. He isn’t the worst you’ve had. That honor goes to that girl from freshman year who puked in your closet and wasn’t shy about bringing home guys from the bar on school nights. But he’s comparable. Eren drinks the juice straight from the carton and puts it back in the refrigerator empty. He lets dirty dishes soak a day too long. He takes over the common area like a second bedroom, scowling at the television as his thumbs scuttle across the controller. He’s asked you to leave the small lodging on multiple occasions for privacy reasons. But, all of that being said, Eren pays rent on time. And, on those sheepish occasions you’ve locked yourself out, he only rolls his eyes when he opens the door and quickly goes back to muttering into his headset. 

And up until now, you thought he made up for it enough by being eye candy.

“Oh - mmm- fuck yes right there - ”

The back of his head is to you, hair slipping from his loose knot over his hunched shoulders. His elbow is pressed in the back of the couch in a way that must be uncomfortable, but it’s the perfect angle to pinch his phone in one hand and hold it up to his face. The other hand is out of sight from where you stand. The glare on the screen hides whatever he’s watching so avidly that he didn’t hear you open the door.

Unless he didn’t mind you opening the door.

“Dude,” you say, and your voice stutters. What the fuck can you even say to - ? Your mind goes fully blank. You try again. “What the fuck are you doing?”

That works.

“Oh,” Eren says by means of greeting without even turning his head. “I’m not gonna jizz all over the sofa, don’t worry. Nowhere close yet.”

You push your shoes to the side with your feet. “Better not,” you say, with all the disdain you can muster. “But man - come on. Are you… actually doing what I think you’re doing?”

He lifts his phone up and waggles it, the visual jostling before your eyes. 

“Why?”

“‘S comfy out here.”

You stay, bound by your horror, in the foyer. “Do you do - this,” you say, almost stammering over your words, “regularly?”

“I don’t have a set schedule,” Eren says. “But yeah, sometimes, if you’re out of the house for a while.”

“Are you fucking kidding me?”

Your words are punctuated by tinny “mmm - yeah - ah!” sounds from the phone.

Eren sighs irritably, and finally turns his head to the side. His eyebrows are slack, his cheekbones only barely starting to flush as he fixes that heavy-lidded gaze on you. “Are you going to stand there and bitch all day?”

“I think it’s a pretty reasonable thing to bitch about,” you snap. “And yeah. I don’t need to see your dick out on my pillows.”

“I put your pillows on the chair,” Eren says with a short nod of his chin towards the other side of the living room. “You sure, though? I’ve never heard any complaints about my dick.”

It’s so absurd you snort. “Don’t be a dumbass,” you say. “Don’t joke around.”

“Not joking,” Eren says, and he lowers the phone. There’s a light clack on the screen as he mutes or pauses the video. He pushes his elbow further into the couch, angling to look at you straight-on past the thin slope of his nose. “C’mere.”

You realize you’re breathing out of your mouth.

This is not what you expected. Actually – it’s not what you expected now. Because the tension has been there. Of course it has been. Every time he slouches shirtless into the kitchen with a threadbare towel ruffling his hair dry over his shoulders, you pointedly stare at anything that isn’t the lean muscle of his stomach. At least once a month, he knocks on your door for a trivial manner when you’d pointedly announced you’re spending the night in the bubble bath. Sometimes girls stay over after house parties. You can’t deny pausing at the wall to hear how he groans. You wonder if the performance changes once you slam the front door shut on your way to seek refuge elsewhere.

All things you’d only admitted to your best friends over bathroom counters sworn to secrecy and vodka sodas. Things fantasized about in half-jokes, and nothing you would have thought come to fruition on this random afternoon.

Oh. He absolutely did this on purpose. You wonder what expression is on your face, because Eren just looks back at you with eyebrows lifting at the corner.

You’re padding across the carpet, stepping over the mess of his socks, the lid of the silver grinder. The rest of the contraption sits open on the coffee table with glinting spikes winking at you. You frown at the dirty pipe next to it.

“Oh, you’re just stoned,” you say dryly.

“I’m actually not,” Eren says, throwing your tone back at you in a mocking half-question. That’s another familiar little crack of tension – the conversations so automatically sardonic you can barely keep your thighs from trembling and lips from curving into a grin. You smirk back absently even now, despite the electricity shuddering through the room and you turn towards the couch.

Your eyes had been a little too fixed on the pipe, your brain chanting something about the ashes, the filth, the need to just soak the stupid thing in rubbing alcohol to get it back to whatever color it should be, and it takes a half-moment to register him. Eren’s hands are at the waistband of his forest green gym shorts. He looks up at you with those eyes deeper than a summer storm, a curve of hair falling in front of his forehead and joining those strands cascading around his neck as he hunches against the arm of the sofa. The hem of his black hoodie has scrunched higher up his stomach below his phone resting precariously, to reveal a snaking ribcage of hair branching down to where his thumbs meet the shorts. His forearms are tense, red aching at the tight cuffs of his rolled-up sleeves.

“Take it off, then,” you hear yourself say, and Eren’s lips twitch in a smile.

His thumbs curve, knees drawing up as he lifts his hips. He hesitates a moment, as if daring either of you to chicken out, and then it’s as if you imagined the pause because he’s pulling those green mesh shorts down. He kicks them off the cushions and you sway to avoid the motion as his heather grey boxes follow in a tangle. Eren pushes his hips down on the sofa, sprawling to take up the entire length. His foot braces against the back of the couch, and his other settles on the floor. He rolls his knee out, framing a perfect patch of rug for you to kneel on.

Well.

Your shitty roommate is right. Who could have any complaints about his cock?

Eren’s eyes burn on you as you hesitate between his sprawled legs, adjusting your knees on the carpet, your elbows against the couch. He doesn’t reach forward to guide you, to pump his already half-hard shaft in his palm. He shrugs his shoulders and picks up the phone again, tapping the screen again.

“Mmm- that feels so good, yeah!”

You lick your bottom lip. Eren has the phone lifted in a way that blocks his face from you, or yours from him. You pause another second and raise your hand to him.

When you wrap your fingers around his cock, the taunt muscles of his stomach tense. His Adam’s apple shivers in a swallow. Your fingertips squeeze at his firmness, your thumb slowly sliding hider as your fist rises up. You pause, running your thumb around the tip. A bead of slick precum slides where your skin meets his.

It’s that oily slip that makes this whole thing actually real at last, makes the breath hitch in your throat and makes some pressure beat hard bellow your belly. Your knees push into the carpet. You adjust your other forearm on the cushions for balance, leaning in closer as you flutter in a delicate circle again across his sensitive head.

“Fuck,” Eren says as if the word bursts from him.

“Ohh yeah!”

The air is cut with heavy breath and the cries from his phone.

Your hand is moving without thinking, your eyes hazy and locked on your first. His cock is actually fucking pretty, smooth, large, the vein fluttering under your palm rising with urgency. You bend into the couch, reaching forward with your other hand and stretching to support it, giving a brief dancing squeeze of your fingers. You withdraw your dominant hand and raise it to your lips, drawing a breath, and spitting messily.

“Mmm!”

“Oh – ” but the breath comes out of you as you bring your hand webbed with silver down to his cock again. Eren’s skin is silky under your touch as you smear up and down him, rubbing up to his head again and mixing your fluids together. And Eren groans, a low, musical sound that breaks at the end.

That’s an aching you haven’t heard behind walls and closed doors. You tense your hand and pump faster.

“Suck it,” Eren says suddenly in another strangled blurt, interrupting the moans of the pοrnstars.

You look up, and his phone has slipped in his palm, showing the darkening of his dilating pupils as he stares at you with a thirst. His cheeks are flushed high. Drool involuntarily pools over your tongue and you look down and hunch yourself closer, as his knee straightens on the floor besides you to open more space.

Kneeling before Eren, you can track the contours of his skin in a way more intimate than just roommates should normally know. His thigh muscles are taunt, strong, dusted with wiry hairs that gather closer and closer the higher they climb. The shadow of his hipbones flexes as he shifts into the couch. And you look up again, just as Eren reaches out with his hand not gripping the phone.

“Wow – wow oh fuck, I’m so close - !”

More hair has fallen loose from the bun, enough for his hair to be half-down and framing the strong angle of his jaw like a dark halo. His eyes are sunken deep, and staring at you, wide. You keep eye contact, leaning on your elbow, and sink your mouth onto his cock.

Eren’s hand closes at the back of your head, and your arm slides into his leg, a warm, strong barrier pushing your bodies together in this collapsed tableau of fallen angels. Your first stroke of your tongue is light and short, your second dragging a little longer, before your lean for the and take his head fully in a long, languid, slurping swirl.

He tastes sweeter, cleaner, than you would have thought.

The sounds suddenly cut off as the video ends, the last smack of your tongue loud in the abrupt silence. Saliva drips from your mouth as you drag your tongue down to his balls in a fat swipe, and back up.

“Fuck,” Eren mutters. His hand drops, shifts his back and hips rock into the couch as he takes the phone in both hands again. You adjust your fingers, sliding at his base and rubbing along the shaft neglected by your mouth.

There’s a muffled click-click-click and the volume rises. It sounds like he found a new video, this one full of a gruff masculinity and a gasping crescendo.

“You like that? You like how that tastes?”

“Ohmygod yes, yes, I love it mmm – ”

Your eyes slip down, demurely, and then with a breath squeeze shut and force yourself lower.

“Mmph,” comes from your lungs, and Eren moans in turn.

Your lips are dancing, tongue licking continuously in desperate sucks down his cock. Eren is breathing shallowly, little gasps coming from him. His elbow angles into the couch, dipping the cushion below you to the side, and you can hear the phone speaker almost directly above your head. He must be staring at the screen, his chest rising and falling rapidly that you can feel through him.

“Yes I love that - oh - fuck me harder - ”

And of your own body, cramped against the cushions and the couch frame? Every time you can tell Eren responds to your motions, you clench the delicate muscles of your cunt – and every time you can tell that he’s responding to the stupid video he’s watching, it makes you rush and pulse. Sweat prickles at your shoulders, across your forehead. Your body is tense with arousal, the groans slipping from your lips aching whimpers.

Actually, some of your sounds might as well be coming from the phone too.

Eren throbs in your mouth, and you force your head all the way down his cock. He hits the back of your throat and you clench your fingers into a fist that scratches at the rough cushions. You inhale, closing your cheeks into a hollow suck and bidding him further down your throat.

“Oh, oh – god damn – ” Eren says, and his voice is absolutely raw. “Oh, fuck.”

“You like that?” the man on the phone says again.

Eren’s thighs turn towards you as you pull yourself up, gasping for breath and trying not to cough. Water pricks at the corner of your eyes. His eyes are low, staring at the screen with a slack mouth and harsh breath.

You lean, lowering yourself again, running your tongue in light agitation over and over his tip again and again before widening your jaws and taking him in again.

“Mmmm,” you whimper in a suffocated tone around him, pushing your hips harder into the floor.

“Yeah, yeah,” Eren groans. “Yeah, right there.”

His other falls hand on the back of your head again – not to push, but, to brace, as you feel his hand steel himself. You take him fully out of your mouth again to lick his length and Eren’s hand moves with you with each dip and turn of your head, hesitating as you take another shuddering breath and then locking in again when you go back down.

You can feel it, you don’t need the cues of the video, or even Eren’s own beautifully desperate voice. He’s close, filling your mouth, your senses, as your hand slides up and over and over where your lips just can’t reach in these faster motions. Breathing is harder, the shallow reserves of air coming shorter and shorter.

“Fuck – I’m gonna cum – ”

The words were the woman’s, not Eren’s, but he groans a harsh, ragged, “fuck” in turn.

He tightens his stomach muscles, turning into a half-crunch as his hips thrust up pathetically, helplessly, in a primal attempt to fuck into your mouth. You’re so painfully aware of your own hips shifting in response, your neglected cunt wet in response as you choke and gurgle sloppily around him.

And then Eren cries out your name, your name so anguished on his lips –

So much sharper, so much louder, than anything you’ve heard come from his room –

The tears stream from your eyes as Eren gives one last thrust of his hips into your mouth. His hand is strong at the back of your head, the taste of him suddenly more and more bitter. It’s something you feel through him. You freeze, your hand holding him and lips sealed around as he comes, hot and sharp to the back of your throat.

“Mm,” you choke.

“Oh, almost, almost,” Eren groans, and tenses out another spurt.

His cock gives a last twitch in your mouth as your tongue gently washes around him as your lips release. You guide him out and swallow again, and again, every last bit of flavor dancing around your mouth.

“Fuck,” Eren says.

Your breaths are a cacophony together.

“Oh – oh – oh!” the artificial orgasm screams from his phone continuously. You clear your throat, and give an inadvertent cough. Eren hurriedly pushes at the screen until silence falls over the room again. He looks at you, and smirks his usual grin, but something about it lacks the familiar sass.

“You know, you look good down there,” Eren says.

A thrill goes through you, and you try to play off the shudder of glee.

“Ew. Cheesy. Stop watching so much pοrn,” you say with a not-too withering glare. You reach behind you, fumbling for his shorts to wipe your lips with one leg, your eyes with the other.

“No,” Eren says, and the word stutters short as he cuts himself off with a deep, sucking breath. You look up at him. And to your surprise he looks so kind somehow for a moment – some innocent yearning beaming in his eyes breaking down whatever walls he’s built around him; walls that you somehow hadn’t realized before now had been carefully kept high and strong.

“I. I want to – ”

And in that moment, the phone rings a shrill tone.

“Oh, shit,” Eren says, staring at it.

“Great timing,” you say as you feel your heart drop into your stomach. “Saved by the bell, you could say.”

“No, no,” Eren says with a sigh and a glare at the screen. “It’s my brother, and – I mean, if he’s calling, it could be important.”

“I get it,” you say, waving your hand and sitting back on the carpet, wrapping your arms around your knees and ignoring both the ache pushing at your cunt and adrenaline racing through your veins. “It’s okay.”

You toss the shorts in your hand at him, and Eren takes them in one hand, absently tucking the phone between his ear and shoulder. It nestles in his hoodie as he speaks a greeting into the phone, eyes settling somewhere in the middle distance. He sits up, feet on the floor, and begins to pull them on.

“Hey, Zeke. What’s up?”

You turn your head, giving him a moment of privacy that feels strangely appropriate, for all of that that just transpired. There’s a groan of the couch cushions as Eren stands. You see his boxers, abandoned on the carpet, and feel an involuntary grin break across your face.

What a turn of events.

You rock forward on your knees again. Eren walks behind the couch, his voice carrying the conversation into the kitchen. You reach forward on the coffee table, finding a mailer advertisement under the dirty pipe, a marker. Flipping the paper over to the blank side, you scrawl a quick message.

It’s harder to stand than it should be. Your bones creak as they unfold from that hunch into the sofa, your muscles and hips weak with desire. But you make it swiftly to the kitchen, where Eren has the fridge open. He leans on the door, phone still in the crook of his shoulder, one sleeve slumped down to his hand and the other still pushed up to his elbow as he unscrews a bottle of cranberry juice. He casts his eyes to you as he lifts the bottle to his lips and drinks, listening to his brother.

All you do is slap the paper to the refrigerator with the first magnet your fingers encounter, and walk to your room without a second glance back.

My turn next.

.

Author's note 2: So I actually wanted this to be MEANER! I wanted MEAN SCUMMY EREN! But I think it ended up being a little soft… and maybe for this, it worked the best? Please please let me know what you think!! If there's interest, I would absolutely do a part 2 in inverse where it's actually Reader being the naughty roommate? :)

[a-student-out-of-time]

So, you intend for me to confess?

Yes. Whatever shreds of honor or decency you might have, you’d do well to-

You’re a pathetic bitch.

...

You steal from me, shove my old life in my face, and you have the audacity to claim that you should’ve been an Ultimate?

So what if I made a deal? I was merely doing what was necessary to get ahead in this miserable dog-eat-dog world of ours. You’re singling me out only because I took your spot, but what’ve you done for all the others who were doing the exact same thing?

Nice try, but there weren’t any others. I know Hope’s Peak has a history of shady dealings and policies, but nobody did what you and Ayato did.

You mean nobody had the guts to use the resources at their disposal? Not even you, the (supposedly) best junior detective in the country? What makes you think I was the only one?

Who’s to say your whore friends didn’t make their way into the school through some illicit dealings of their own? Maybe meeting some members of the faculty in an alley outside some rundown burger shop?

...Hold me back, I’m gonna break her knees.

Fushi, don’t! She’s just trying to get to you!

As if you have any place to talk! How often did you tell me and the others to hang ourselves or jump off a bridge? How much vandalism did you engage in?

How much of my own, legitimate work did you destroy out of spite?!

...

You did all of that, and yet I was kind enough to avoid offering you any alcohol. Do I receive nothing for that?

Do you want a reward for basic human decency? Cuz you’re not really doing a lot to earn it right now.

Also, do not bring up my father, Ernesto-kun, or anyone else.

As if you have any right to talk anyway! Alright, so maybe we did some bad stuff, but that doesn’t mean we haven’t tried to change!

More than I can say for you! Besides, Haru earned her shot at that title! And what did you do other than marry some guy in the Nijiue Family?!

Nanami, how did you get such a reputation while having such an idiot as a friend?

Idiot?!

Do not talk about my friends like that.

Someone with so much apparent prestige like you...

No, it makes perfect sense. Trash associates with trash. You’re all delinquent garbage from the dregs of society; always were, always will be. Nothing you do will change that.

Understand this, Nanami Harumi: you may have been the best detective in the country at one point, but it doesn’t matter anymore. I beat you. That makes me your better. Superior skill, superior intelligence, superior resources.

If you couldn’t figure any of this out until now, I’d say you didn’t deserve that title in the first place.

You can cry and scream all you want, but it won’t change anything. Learn to accept your positions in life, and maybe you’ll think twice before embarrassing yourself so horrendously.

Now, if you’re done with this pointless charade, I’ll be returning to my room.

...Just know that I’m doing this for your benefit.

*Emina gets close to Harumi, who doesn’t flinch*

Acknowledge me as your superior, and I might consider it.

...

...Fuck. You.

Hmph. Maybe you’ll learn someday.

I’ll sue you all for lost productivity if this ends up affecting my sleep schedule. Goodbye, street trash.

*Emina marches off*

Hrrrgg...

It’s okay, Fushi.

...Being the bigger person is hard when you deal with her.

I kinda figured this wasn’t gonna work.

It was worth a shot. I wish we could’ve just ended it here. Now the mass investigation’s all but guaranteed...

Haru, whatever happens to everyone after we bust them, I promise I’ve got your back. I’m not gonna let anyone else take the heat for anything that happened years ago.

Me too! Just lemme know when you need me.

Thanks, you two.

Besides, at least we got something out of her.

And if she wants to make this a war, we’ll give her a war.

[archduchessofnowhere]

What are your favourite non-fiction book about the Habsburgs?

Hello! Sorry it took me so long to answer!

My favorite book about the Habsburgs is actually one that it's not about the main people I tend to talk about in this blog (aka from the time of Franz Josef): Barbara Stollber-Rillinger’s biography of Empress Maria Theresia, which is not just a biography but THE book about the 18th century Habsburg empire, period. She covers EVERYTHING: how the Maria Theresia myth originated, the War of the Austrian Succession, the Seven Years War, court rituals, marriage alliances, education policies, religious policies, political reforms, the complex relationship between the Empress and her children (each child gets their own chapter), just to name a few of the book’s subjects. It is an academical book so the prose is kinda dry, and if you’re not used to read this kind of scholarly work it may be a bit difficult to get through, but I don’t think it’s particularly hard to read. It did took me months to read it but because it’s a LONG book (over 1000 pages) and I did find some parts a bit tedious (mainly the ones related to the political reforms, the subject just doesn’t interest me a lot), but in other parts I was so hooked that I couldn’t stop reading. If you're looking for a more personal biography of the empress you might find this one disappointing since the author doesn't focus too much on that (“no false intimacy with Maria Theresa will be presumed. The heroine shall be kept at arm’s length.”), but otherwise I highly recommend it.

Leaving the world of academic writing and entering into pop history, surprisingly my favorite book that I’ve read so far is Joan Haslip’s 1982 The Emperor and the actress. This books is neither a biography of Emperor Franz Josef nor Katharina Schratt, but a book about their relationship, how they met and became unlikely best friends. Haslip still does this thing in which she doesn’t cite anything BUT she does quote lots of letters and explicitly says “now I’m quoting a letter”, which made this problem less annoying. Possibly there may be better books about Katharina (there are newer and more updated ones in German for sure), but in English this remains the best source about the actress, and because of that I was completely hooked. It was also my introduction to Bulgarian history and royalty, which I knew nothing about before (fun fact Katharina was also besties with future Tsar Ferdinand and Franz Josef was jealous of him because of it lol). It isn’t a perfect book by any means, but I’m very fond of it nonetheless (example on how this books isn’t perfect at all: Haslip says once that Sophie Chotek was ugly which is just CRAZY, she was gorgeous!!!).

In the memoirs area I really enjoyed Stephanie of Belgium’s. While the view she gives of the Viennese court is obviously biased, I liked to have her version of the story, because I felt that it was overall balanced (yes, even with the complaining about her unfair treatment and all). She also provides some of Rudolf’s letters, which is nice.

I’ve only scratched the top of the iceberg that is Rudolf and Mayerling books, so I don’t really have a favorite here. I’ve read Greg King and Penny Wilson’s Twilight of Empire which I thought was a good introduction to the subject, mainly because there is a whole section of the book in which the authors go in-depth about the history of Mayerling books from the first one ever published, focusing on how reliable they are based on the author and the sources they had access to; which I think is a very useful reading guide to get fully into the subject (on the other hand, I did find the biography part of the book was just ok).

On books about Empress Elisabeth, I already mentioned some in this ask.

To be honest I’ve been avoiding the “big” Habsburg books, in part because they lowkey intimidate me (there are so many both in academic and pop history, where do you even begin?), and in part because I fear that I will find them unsatisfactory (I rather read a 500 pages long book that goes into detail in, idk, Charles V’s life and reign than a “History of the Habsburgs” book that only gives him 20 pages). HOWEVER I’ve been researching which are the books that seem like the best on different subjects so I’ve already got a reading list ready for my hot girl summer.

Thank you for your question!

[castlebyersafterdark]

Idk if you’re Canadian too, but just cause the Trudeau thing came up - I’ve said it before but it’s true: (tipsy rambling about politicians warning)

the #1 reason why Canadians went insane over how hot Trudeau is, is because he came immediately after Stephen Harper, who was PM for 10 years (google a pic of him) (and also apart from that, I’ve literally met Stephen Harper IRL before and I cannot even begin to explain how terrible his vibe is in person)

and before we had Harper, we had Paul Martin (google him)

and before Martin, we had Jean Chrétien (google him) (actually, Chrétien isn’t even bad, he looks like he’d be in the Book of Mormon musical)

This is basically all of GenZ+Millenials’ recent memories, who are too young to remember Canada’s objectively HOT former PM that came before Chrétien - Kim Campbell

So after 10 years of Harper, and a generation’s worth of old men with boring and SHITTY and outdated policies, you have the relatively-young-ish Justin Trudeau waltzing onto stage in 2016 in tight pants promising to legalize weed. Buzzfeed is talking about him. Your friends are talking about him. Your teachers are talking about him. Everyone is talking about him and his tight clothing, which aren’t even that tight, but they’re a lot tighter than what previous PMs have worn (aka clothes that don’t fit at all). For the first time in 10 years you see sunlight break through the clouds. All is good. We have hope. And remember that American election campaigns are 18 months while Canadian campaigns are typically 1, maybe 2 months. The whole thing was a fever dream, everyone was losing their minds, and even I started to get wrapped up in it despite being a lesbian. Like yes Trudeau is hot but like at least 30% of the Trudeau fever comes from the fact that Canadians were so fucking bored

FASCINATING. Admittedly, I know very little about Canadian politics despite being into history and this kind of stuff. (Not Canadian myself but side note - super interesting that several times people here have thought I might be Canadian. Ha! What am I doing that gives the impression??)

Oh I do agree, he's definitely more easy on the eyes than most politicians. That is true. He's definitely attractive, even if I myself am not into him 🤭 I probably followed some of this all at the time but there's been a constant onslaught of everything our entire lives so it all kinda blends. It feels so long ago? I know what age I was that year and I definitely was in a transitory life stage so no wonder it feels like a whirlwind looking back!

Also idk if this was your followup or Trudeau anon#2 but observe, the duality:

[lost-context-quotes]

A Man in A Rockin’ Chair

When I was about 19, I worked as a delivery boy for the mail. Every two weeks or so there was a letter addressed to the same little cabin up out in the woods. Every once in a while, there'd be a package with it too. During my third week on the job, I got that letter in my bundle to deliver.

The drive was kinda long, and pretty out of the way from my other stops but I ended up at the cabin at about lunch time. Once I’d parked my truck out front, I made my way to the door. The big wooden one was propped open with sum’th’n but the screen door sat closed, lettin’ a breeze run through the small house.

I rang the doorbell, waited, then knocked a couple times. I peared in, just a little bit, but couldn't see much through the dirty wire of the screen. Hearing nothing, I started writing my ticket for a return time. Out the corner uh my eye, I saw the man sitting on the front porch, sleeping in a rockin’ chair. Didn't notice ‘im before, he was sitting so still I coulda’ thought he was a patio figure.

“Sir,” I called out to him, “Sir, excuse me.” Nothin’, not even a muscle. I walked up closer to him. He was pretty old, maybe he just couldn’t hear me.

“Excuse me, sir,” Still nothing. I tapped on his shoulder a bit, and boy did he jump. I was afraid he might fall right outta his chair. “Sir, can you sign for this package please?”

Now I was a mighty thin kid, not much bigger round than my own arms could reach. And this old man, with his glasses all crooked, took one look at me and musta decided I was starved.

“Boy, how’d you like some cookies?”

“Sir?” I was a lil’ bit confused, not really the first thing I’d expected him tuh say.

“Yuh look too thin to be eatin’ real regular; yeah, I bet you’d like some cookies, you wait right there, I’ll get you some.” I watched as the man started to push himself up outta chair. He had a bit uh trouble cuz’ the chair kept rockin’ back and forth ev’ry time he made any sorta move.

“No, thank you, I really have to-” I tried to stop him, but he already finished gettin’ himself up. He walked ‘cross the porch, if you could call it walkin’ really, each step seemed to take all the effort he had in him just to move and one leg seemed to drag a little behind each time.

“Nonsense, I’ve got them coolin’ inside, lord knows I don't need all of ‘em to mahself.” He made his way to the screen door. The old metal hinges squeaked as he opened it, complaining at the movement. “How I could let such a lanky young man like you go without feedin’ ‘i'm? What kind uh man would I be then?”

I caught the edge of the door before it could close quite all the way and tried calling into the house. “Sir, I really don't need any cookies. I just need your signature on this package please.”

He made no movement he could hear me though, and I saw his back turn the corner in the house and after a bit of russlin’ he came back round holdin’ a plate.

“Now here, I’ll trade yuh. You take these here cookies off my hands and I’ll take that package off yours. Sound fair?”

“Well, yes, but-”

“Great, where did you want me to sign again?” I pulled my scanner out and held it forward with the pen, maybe I’d actually get out of here. “Right here, sir.”

“Of course then.” He scratched his signature onto the screen and clicked the pen into it’s plastic holder.

“Here’s your package sir.” I slipped the scanner into my pocket and held out the package.

“Yes, thank you very much young man.” With surprising speed compared to everythin’ else, he’d grabbed the package and somehow got his plate of cookies onto my hands.

“Ah’m sure you’ve got plenty more mail to get to, so don't get held up on me. You just take those cookies with ya’, and don't chu worry about bringing the plate back, I’ve got plenty tah spare.” He started turnin’ around and had already made it inside by the time I caught up to what he was sayin’.

“Sir, I don’t think I can take these.” Was there some mail system policy that would exempt me from this. “Sir?” The house was quite once again, and I didn't think I could open ‘is door without some sort of legal problems, so I was left standin’ on his porch ‘oldin’ his plate of cookies.

‘Course at that point I didn't see much else to do but leave, he’d taken the package and the cookies were just- just-.... Oh whatever, I just wouldn’t eat ‘em then.

I walked back to my truck, cookies in hand and got ready to drive off. Spent a good ‘mount of time tryin’ to find a place the plate wouldn’t slide off and break. Still ended up havin’ to hold it a good ways down the dirt road.

Was ‘bout an hour ‘n uh half later that I started gettin’ hungry. Those cookies started to look real good and tasty. Somethin’ tah know ‘bout me is that I don’t have much in the way of resistance. So pretty darn fast, I made that plate empty. Sum of the best cookies I’ve ever had were on that plate.

When I got back to the office that evenin’ I made sure tuh tell my friends about the man I met, ‘bout how he gave me cookies..

“Sounds like ya’ met Mr. Mclain. Out in the woods, yeah?”

“How’d you know?” Maybe I wasn't the only one confused by him.

“Everyone here’s had to deliver to him at least once, he gets a letter like clockwork. Packages less so. Though that’s all that’s ever been delivered to him and he’s got no mailbox either.”

“Didn’t notice.” I hadn’t noticed. I’d been too busy with his package and his infernal cookies to even think about his mailbox.

“I’m always scared I’ll walk up and he won’t just be sleeping in his chair.”

“What’d’yuh mean?”

“I always have to make sure he’s still breathin’. That old man sleeps like the dead!”

“Didn’t even think about that, I’d be scared too.” Thank goodness for the cookies then, if it means he was able to get up for ‘em.

“See ya’ tomorrow!” They called as they finished packing up and left.

“Bye!”

The next few weeks went by pretty smoothly, and I’d just about forgotten old man Mclain. ‘Side from his plate slidin’ ‘round in my truck every now and then. But then I got his letter in my bundle again.

I got there at about noon b’tween my other stops and pulled my truck up front in the same spot. I noticed that sure ‘nuff, he didn’t have a mailbox.

I went to slide his letter in the door when I saw Mr. Mclain sleeping in his rocking chair. Mah friend’s words came back to me, ‘sleeps like the dead’ she said.

I’d almost walked away when I thought to check him. Just in case.

“Excuse me?” Please respond, “Sir?” Nothing, “Mr. Mclain?” I tapped on ‘is shoulder this time, and he startled like a cat in heat.

“Mmm, whatchu need?” He straightened out his glasses on his face and looked me up and down, “Oh, it’s you again. Have you got another package for me?”

“No, just a letter this time, sir.” I handed it to him, much easier to deliver it to him personally.

“Oh, well let me get you somethin’ tah eat. Still too skinny in my book. Don't your mama ever feed you?”

“Sir, I don’t-” Why did this man insist on giving me food every time?

“Just let me get it from inside. Won’t take but a minute.” He’d already gotten out of his chair and made it to the screen door when I thought to get his plate. The door squeaked once more as he opened it and he slipped around the same corner. I nearly ran to my truck to grab that plate, only finding it to have slipped under my seat.

I was right back on the porch as he came back ‘round the corner holdin’ someth’n.

“I’ve got your plate from last time, Mr. Mclain.”

“Oh perfect,” He said as he slipped out the door, “Means I won’t have to give you another one.” I was about to question him when he moved something from his hands onto the plate I was holding. I looked down at the biscuit now sitting on the cookie plate. “Made biscuits and gravy this mornin’, figure the leftovers’d be better spent on a young man like you.”

“I-,” I was about to deny the food again but paused, “I’m sure I’ll love it thank you.” I saw the mischievous sparkle in his eye at the acceptance.

“Thank you for the letter. You ‘best get on now, I’m sure ev’ryone else wants their mail too.”

“Right, Goodbye Mr.Mclain.” I turned around to leave, “And make sure you eat more than just that biscuit ‘fore I see you starve.” He yelled out behind me.

“I will, Mr. Mclain, I will.”

I heard his muttered ‘good’ as I walked back to my truck, one biscuit more than I came with.

From then on I always seemed to be the one gettin’ Mr. Mclain’s mail. And every time, I drove up there with a letter or a package and his empty plate in tow only to come back with it full. He always seemed to have something he could give me. A sandwich he assured me he’d never finish, or a leftover piece of breakfast that ‘would go to waste otherwise.’ And I stopped tryin’ to refuse ‘em as he always seemed to get the food on the plate as I tried to return it.

And I made a habit of tappin’ him on the shoulder when he was sleepin’ in his chair, and if anyone asked I did it so I could get his signature, just in case. Sometimes I’d end up stickin’ around longer than it took to deliver, if only to get to know him and give him some comp’ny.

It was one of those days that heard him complain as I gave him the letter.

“It’d be so much easier if he just came to visit one of these days.”

“If who came to visit, Mister?” I’d never heard him talk about anyone real specific before, much less who sent the letters.

“My son,” I nearly dropped the plate holding my croissant, “He sends me all these letters and postcards from his business trips, but he never comes around to see me.”

“I didn’t know you had a son, Mr. Mclain.”

“I do. He’s about 27 now. Some big business man based in New York as far as I know. He goes places all the time, but never here. Too small a place for some fancy Yankee to visit his father I guess.”

“I’m sorry about-”

“I think it’s probably time you get on your delivery rounds. I’m sure you’ve got better things to do than talk to an old man.”

“Well, no not re-”

“Get to it then, can’t have you sittin’ here all day.” He ushered me down the front steps, and this time I nicked the plate on the corner of the cabin.

I turned to look at him from the bottom. He’d turned around as well and was staring sadly at the letter in his hands before he went inside the squeaky screen door.

“Hey, Mr. Mclain!” I shouted out to him, he looked back at me in surprise, “Do you think you might want me to come fix that door for you someday?”

“That’d be mighty nice of you indeed.” And I could see his smile even through that dirty screen door.

As I left, I picked up the small piece that broke off the plate. It would be easy to glue back.

As offered, the next time he got a letter from his son, I stopped by with my tool box in the trunk and some brand new hinges. I used my rag and some spray to wipe down the screen, making it much clearer to see through.

It was about two or three months later that I drove up to his house with another package. I greeted him with a wave, until I realized he was sleepin’ in his chair again. A feeling ran up my spine, I tried to ignore it. So I walked up to him and tapped on his shoulder like I usually did, expecting him to jump awake like usual.

I tapped him again.

Maybe just one more time.

Oh no. Oh no. Not now. I dropped the package I was holding, completely ignoring the sound of breaking glass. I tried to find a pulse on him, nothing.

I wouldn’t ever admit to crying that day. And if the EMT’s saw me, they didn’t say anything.

A week after my twentieth birthday, I was halfway through my daily rounds when I drove by the turn to Mr. Mclain’s driveway by habit. Though I was surprised to see vans coming down the small dirt driveway.

My curiosity got the best of me and I turned it to see what was goin’ on up at ol’ Mr. Mclain’s house. I had to park off the road as my usual spot was taken up by a moving van or two.

I hopped out my truck and went looking for the man in charge of all that chaos. Found him in a man with a suit on and a clipboard in hand, yellin’ out commands for all the movers.

“Get those sheets packed! The blankets and pillows too. We have to be out of here in time to sell on Tuesday! And someone find that missing plate!”

I walked up to the man, slightly shy around all the noise and yelling, “Excuse me, what’s going on here? Who are you? Why are you emptying Mr. Mclain’s house?”

“I’m Mr. Mclain’s son. And I’m emptying it so it’s ready to sell. You interested in buying?” A strong smile grew on his face and a similar mischievous glint to Mr. Mclain’s shown in his eyes, ‘cept this one was tainted by greed.

“No, I’m not,” His smile fell.

“Then get off the property please, we are working here and I wouldn’t want anyone getting hurt.” He turned his back to me and I was about to do the same, when I remembered something else, “What missing plate were you talking about?”

“Hmm.” He looked at me from the side, as if totally disinterested, “There’s a plate missing from one of the sets. Why?”

“I think I’ve got that missing plate in my truck right now, actually.” I frowned slightly.

“Get it for me please, it’s part of the set,” He said, voice almost monotone.

“Sure thing.”

I grabbed the empty plate from where it fell under my seat again, not quite caring as the glued-on shard fell off, taking another small chunk with it. It was his problem now.

I went to hand the plate to him when he motioned for a mover to take it. It was stacked in a box with 11 other identical plates and whisked off towards a van.

As I got back into my truck and drove off, I caught just enough of a glimpse of the box being set next to an old rocking chair and shut behind hard metal doors.

[quill-and-chalk]

Oh my god thank you for that post! Budget (which of course the length also plays into, Heartstopper isn’t even half as long as First Kill atm) and established viewership are exactly what I’ve been saying plays into the renewal! Yes it sucks First Kill got cancelled when it absolutely shouldn’t have been but we could compare it to awfully performing straight shows instead of pitting queer media against each other (and also generally to shows that feature POC as main characters vs. those that don’t since that’s a factor too). Streaming services in general won’t hesitate to cancel all of our shit, regardless of the kind of queerness featured.

I also get so frustrated that people are saying “but mlm shows have it so much easier to get renewed” and then point towards the fact that mlm are either infantilized or fetishized by straight people like it’s a win? Can y’all not? This goes in the same vein as people who I’ve seen argue that sapphics are more socially acceptable because they seem more “innocent” and men find the thought of two women making out hot. This isn’t actual acceptance, both of these are just cishet people being gross about queer people. Can people on both sides please stop acting like that’s an advantage?

No yea this is EXACTLY right. Like I said good lgbt media is veeerrry new and to be honest Our Flag Means Death and Heartstopper are the first unapologetically queer pieces of media in a show format (in my opinion) that have succeeded. Many other ‘LGBT’ shows are catered to a straight audience or watered down for them.

Like if you really look at queer media and it’s history you can see that gay white men specifically were more likely to be represented in shows. Though it was always from a dehumanizing perspective and only as a side character. Think 2000’s and the common notion of the Gay BFF where these men were always white and always seen as a prop. Then this evolved a bit into the token gay side character getting to have a love interest (which is usually the only other gay guy) Remember that Glee was considered ground breaking for simply having Blaine and Kurt get together and that was in the early 2010’s. We see this trend with other 2010 shows which were almost always geared towards straight people ( Shadow Hunters, How to get away with Murder, etc) Even when we got media focused on gay men in the later 2010’s it tended to still market towards a Cis-straight audience and was branded as either a comedy because effeminate queer men are ‘fun y’, filled with a trama narrative , or simply just had all queerness stripped from it (Think Love Simon, Special, or The politician) To put it simply, yes there is bias towards mlm representation in media but that’s because that bias is rooted in a history of dehumanization towards queer men.

Now if you look at a history of wlw relationships being portrayed in media it seems much shorter but it’s actually kinda… not. So basically wlw relationships and wlw portrayal in media during the gay panic era had a very weird luxury, because their relationships weren’t taken very seriously. They had the ability to basically pass off romantic relationships as gals being pals and any explicit relationship could just end tragically and then it was fine. It’s why the lesbian pulp fiction genre thrived during this time. This kind of ‘if we ignore it then it’s not real’ policy with wlw media means that they didn’t have the same history as mlm. Most wlw characters in the 2000’s are implied/subtext and even going into the 2010’s if a wlw relationship was shown it was much more likely to be developed off screen at the end of a show. Wlw relationships were still sexually objectified though and sadly the most common form of explicit representation for wlw relationships was often for the male gaze. This is why it’s seems harder for sincere wlw works to succeed commercially because 1. There are more sincere/realistic wlw works since wlw have had the (again it was in a unusual way) privilege of always having a level of sincerity in their media prior. Even if that sincerity had to be edited. And 2. Because straight audiences still sexually objectify wlw relationships and when they see wlw media come out from the ‘just gal pal shadows’ they can’t relate to the sincerity and unapologetic queerness that comes from the media. To put it simply they can’t fathom the fact that they can’t objectify the relationship or that the relationship isn’t shown through straight colored glasses.

Then everything is flipped in media aimed at younger audiences ( and I’m gonna shorten this because I’m rambling) Because queer men are dehumanized and characterized to be a character that’s only good for sassy/mean/sexual comments and that is, obviously, not gonna fly well in shows geared towards a younger audience. While since wlw relationships are more easily explained away as ‘gal pals’ then they actually get more representation because they can, again, fly under the radar. Legend of Korra did this by implying they got together with a hand hold, Steven Universe was able to air in multiple countries because translations just pretended any lgbt relationship was ‘just a strong friendship’, and She-ra was even able to be as queer with that ending because NJ basically convinced Netflix they were ‘just good friends’ until the final season.

This is just the tip of the iceberg because there is sooo much nuance to this conversation and even more queer history we could bring up that I didn’t mention. Though the common theme here was that straight-Cis audiences have never respected us and every group in the lgbt community has had to fight for representation and that fight looks different for different groups.

[nanaminokanojo]

BLOOM | Sukuna X You | Part 3/3 [COMPLETED]

CHARACTERS: Sukuna X You | Gojo Satoru | Geto Suguru | Shoko Ieiri | Maki | Fushiguro Toji | Baby Megumi | Megumi's Mom (OC) CHAPTER COUNT: 3/3 WORD COUNT: 10,900+ GENRE: romance | fluff | slight angst | smut | ooc sukuna | female reader | modern au CHAPTER TRIGGER WARNING: profanity/strong language | alcohol use | age gap | smut/sexual intercourse SPOILERS: N/A

collection masterlist

one two three | Bloom Masterlist

“You up for it?”

You were sitting at your usual spot at Maki’s. It was still quite early so the pub wasn’t as crowded as it usually is, and it was a weekday. You were there to meet Sukuna but the owner suddenly started chatting you up like she usually does, beating around the bush for a bit before she finally asked you a favor. Apparently, they’re under-staffed and is in need of another waitress but hiring a new one was out of the question since it was a temporary post, just until the person who really works for her recovers from a broken ankle.

“It’s just from four in the afternoon to eight on weekdays, and since you’re usually hanging around here during those times, I thought of asking you. We’re just really short of hands for the next week,” she said, flashing you a rueful smile. “I asked Ieiri but she’s in the middle of her internship.”

Maki had been there for you before, talking to you when you had issues you couldn’t share with your friends and always giving you free non-alcoholic drinks during your exams, and you didn’t see anything wrong with helping her out for once. You’ll earn from it, too. “Sure. When do I begin?”

She clapped her hands excitedly which took you aback. She’s always so tough, barking orders here and there or putting rowdy customers in their proper places, that you didn’t really expect her to be all giggly and excited all of a sudden. “You’ll do it?”

“Yeah, why not?”

She hugged you then. “Oh my god, Y/N. Thank you, thank you, thank you!”

You waved her aside, chuckling. “It’s fine. It’s for a week anyway. No big deal.”

She sighed in relief. “You don’t know how much weight you’ve taken off my shoulders, so it is a big deal. Okay for you to start on Monday?”

You nodded.

“I’m giving you all the cherry blossom tea smoothie you want.” She grinned cheekily at you then. “And speaking of cherry blossoms, I noticed you and Sukuna coming here together. Are you together now?”

You felt your face heating up at the mention of the man's name but you shook your head. "Not yet."

"Yet?"

You chuckled awkwardly. "We're working it out, I guess. We're not exclusively dating though and he isn't my boyfriend..." You felt a bit uncomfortable at the thought. It's the first time you're saying it out loud, what Sukuna isn't to you, and you had to admit the notion was kinda disappointing. But the problem was with you. "Yeah...just that."

"He likes you though. I see the way he looks at you." Maki smiled knowingly at you. "Does this have something to do with your no dating policy? It's ridiculous if you ask me. Sukuna is a good man."

Ah, straightforward as always. "I know that. That's why I'm letting him have a go at changing my mind."

"And is he successful so far?"

"He's almost there." You frowned then, catching her comment about him. "You seem to know him well."

"We go way back," Maki explained. "My old man still owns the pub when he was a student and he came here all the time listening to me and that old geezer fight."

"Oh. That must have been a sight."

"Plus he's friends with my cousin, Toji."

You tilted your head in question. Sukuna never really talked about his friends, and he has never introduced you to any of them. It’s the first time you’re hearing about that side of him. “Really? What was he like back then?”

Maki snorted. “He was an idiot who had too much time in his hands. He’s smart, but had a penchant for mischief. I mean, I guess you already figured that out just looking at him. Nobody really thought he would end up to be this big-shot architect.”

You laughed. “Really?”

“Toji’s influence, I guess. That one’s a bigger idiot.” She looked deep in thought for a moment then said, “Why his wife chose him instead of Sukuna is a puzzle.”

You were confused. You did not know what she was talking exactly, and why her cousin’s wife should have chosen Sukuna was beyond you. For some reason, you didn’t have a good feeling about it, then you remembered what he told you before about dating just one person.

Could it be… “No…” You didn’t even realize you said that out loud until Maki held onto your hand, squeezing gently.

“I’m sorry. I said too much.”

“Well, don’t stop now,” you found yourself saying, unable to help it. “Is the situation what I think it is? Your cousin’s wife…He told me before that he only ever steadily dated one girl. Is it…?”

Maki nodded, grimacing. “They cheated on him six years ago.”

“So, he lost his girlfriend and best friend?” You felt your heart break at the thought. You might not have known him back then, but you couldn’t help but feel bad on his behalf.

“Yes. I’m not saying it’s his fault, but he’s hardly ever there since he was busy.”

“It’s not enough grounds for them to do that!” you stated loudly, feeling genuinely hurt for him. Damn, if he dated just one woman ever and never had a relationship again before you – for six years – then that spoke volumes of how much it affected him afterwards. You caught yourself and flashed Maki an apologetic look. “I’m sorry.”

“Understandable.” She sighed. “He went overseas and didn’t come back until just two years ago. Guess why he came back.”

“Why?”

“To attend their wedding.”

You didn’t know what was more messed up, but you also know Sukuna to be a genuinely good person. If he disappeared for that long only to come back to attend his best friend and ex’s wedding, then it only meant he totally forgave them. If he was giving another relationship a chance, particularly with you, then it also meant he has healed. How he could be so caring and affectionate towards you despite what he went through astonished you, but maybe that’s just how he really was as a person.

“Are they okay now?”

“Yes.” She laughed slightly then. “You should see how he dotes on Toji’s son.”

Maki ruffled your hair, seeing how you’ve reacted. “Just one piece of unsolicited advice, Y/N. If you decide to be with him, be certain about it and don’t ever hurt him.”

You only nodded, taking her words to heart. She was right. Just as you were afraid to be left alone, nobody deserves to be hurt like that. You wanted to be angry at the fact that his own best friend did that to him but at the same time, you were proud of him for coming out of it while maintaining a good view about the whole concept of relationships and perhaps love. It radiated in the way he treated you, and all the effort he is putting into making things work despite your hesitations.

He arrived a few moments later, showing you that crooked smile of his. You both had one beer, and over that, he asked about your day and he told you about yours. When you were finished with your drinks, he said, “Mind going out for a drive? I wanted to tell you something.”

“Okay.” You couldn’t meet his eyes after what Maki told you, and several times, he asked if you were okay to which you responded affirmatively, trying to keep your emotions at bay.

Sukuna took you to the cliffs just around the city limits, parking his car a few yards from the edge enough to have a good view of the sea of lights below. When he killed the engine, you disembarked from his Jeep, walking closer to the edge when you felt his hand on your arm.

“Not too close to the edge,” he said, looking at you with concern written all over his face, but before he could ask what was bothering you, you said, “You were going to tell me something.”

At that, he sighed as if in long-suffering. “Yes, that.” He looked at you seriously as if he was going to tell you something grave only to end up saying, “I’m going to be away for two weeks starting Monday. I’m going to London.”

Momentarily forgetting about your conversation with Maki, you blinked, not knowing whether to laugh or cry. “Why did you have to look like you’re about to tell me you’re going to be executed or something? Jesus, Sukuna.” You laughed despite yourself.

“Don’t laugh. I’m annoyed.” He pouted. “Aren’t you sad? Two weeks is a long time. I won’t get to see you, and I have to check for time zones if I want to talk to you over the phone.”

You held his hand, twining your fingers with his before raising it to plant a kiss on his knuckles. “I will miss you, but you don’t have to be so upset about it. I’ll be right here when you come back. Stop being all dramatic.”

“I’m not!”

“You’re funny.”

He rolled his eyes, but then said, “So, before that, I was planning to take you to meet my best friend and his wife on Saturday. I’ve been telling them about you…”

The rest of his words faded, the only thought registering in your head was how he mentioned his best friend and his wife. You were going to meet them. You couldn’t say no to that given that they seem to play integral parts in his life despite what happened. “Okay.”

“You’re gonna love their little boy,” he said excitedly.

“Sure…”

“But really, Y/N? You won’t have a whirlwind romance with some college brat while I’m away?”

You let go of his hand, stepping back. You didn’t like the sound of that. Not one bit. Not when he was speaking from experience. “What do you take me for?!” The words came out a little harsher than you intended, the resentment you felt for his previous relationship resurfacing.

He arched a brow at you, puzzled at your outburst. “Y/N, I was kidding.”

Not able to hold back anymore, you turned away from him as tears started flooding your vision. You didn’t even know why you were crying over the whole thing, and you just felt like an idiot as you faced him again, frantically drying your tears.

“Sweetheart, what’s wrong?” He looked alarmed as he held onto both of your hands, stopping you from wiping harshly at your face. “Why are you crying? Is it because of what I said?”

You shook your head. “No…no. Can I hug you though?” you asked and he almost laughed as he himself drew you closer, wrapping his arms around you. “You never have to ask.”

You did the same, holding onto him tightly, hoping it was enough for you to get rid of any feeling of hurt left in him if there was any to begin with; that it was enough for him to be at ease where you were concerned when he goes away. Still, you wanted to make sure. You stayed like that until you’ve calmed down, thinking you were doing it more for yourself than for him.

“What brought this on?”

“You won’t get mad?” you asked between hiccups, looking up at him.

“Why would I?”

“Promise me first. I just don’t want to hide anything from you and it’s been bothering me.”

“Okay. I promise.” As if to emphasize his words, he pecked you on the tip of your nose. “Now what is bothering you?”

“Since you mentioned your best friend,” you began, “Toji, right?”

He eyed you, nonplussed. “How did you know?”

“Maki told me…” You started tearing up again. “She-she told me w-what happened. Everything…so I know…Please don’t get mad.”

He clucked his tongue. “That woman. Seriously.”

“I’m glad she told me and I’m sorry if I pried, but I can’t…”

“Is that why you’re crying?”

“Y-yes.”

“Why?”

“Because they hurt you.”

His expressions softened. “Silly.”

You pulled him close, wrapping your arms around him. “It’s not silly. Nobody deserves that, least of all you. You’re always so good to me, and I can’t imagine anybody doing that to you, least of all your best friend.”

Sukuna’s hug tightened a tad, placing his chin on top of your head. “No sense crying about it anymore, Y/N. I’ve forgiven and forgotten. It wasn’t their fault if they felt that way when I went away. They found common ground, I guess. Toji thought he was losing his best friend and she felt the same way.”

“Okay.”

“If it isn’t too much to ask, I want you to get to know them, too, just like I want to be close to Satoru, Suguru and Ieiri. They’re important to me.”

“Okay.”

“You mean it?”

“Yes.” You met his gaze. “If they’re important to you, then I will do that for you and meet them.”

He wiped away your tears then. “Thank you.”

“Don’t sweat it,” you mumbled, breathing in deeply. “Sorry you had to see me like this.”

“You don’t have to hide anything from me.” He shrugged then, snickering. “Maki’s timing sure is impeccable.”

And so, Saturday came and you held onto Sukuna’s hand as he helped you out of the Jeep after parking in front of a two-story house with pale yellow walls and white shutters. Before it was a small, well-tended yard surrounded with white picket fences, very much like the house you grew up in under the care of your grandfather. A small, plastic slide and swing set was placed on the grass along with a tiny bike and some toys in the sandbox.

“You okay?” he asked, interrupting your reverie. When you nodded, he said, “You’re not gonna cry, are you?” making you smack him on the arm. “Ow?”

“Serves you right.”

Just then, the door opened revealing this couple you assumed to be the Fushiguros. They looked good together, both with raven hair with their equally dark-haired little boy who looked about eighteen months old, all chubby cheeks and pudgy cuteness.

Toji was this big, hulking man with a vertical scar on the right side of his mouth which oddly added to his charm instead of marring his handsome face. He was carrying his little boy in his muscular arms, taking the edge off his tough looks. He was the first one to approach.

"Hi. Y/N, right?"

"Yes, hi." You shook his hand, smiling genuinely despite your previous notions regarding him and his wife who also stepped forward, taking your hands in hers. She was beautiful, too, and she gave you this feeling of coming home with her bright eyes and kind smile. You couldn’t blame Toji for falling for her, then again, Sukuna used to be in love with her, too.

"You're so pretty!" she said as a way of greeting. "I'm Mirai. It's nice to meet you."

Toji glanced at Sukuna, the gesture injected with meaning. "It's nice to finally meet you. Typically, he's quiet, but he won't shut up about you."

"Shut up," Sukuna muttered.

"It's nice to meet you both." You chuckled. "He isn't quiet around me either." Then your eyes shifted to their kid. You weren't exactly enamored with the idea of children, but you understood what Sukuna meant. "Hi, little angel," you couldn't help but say to the boy who was looking at you with wide, sparkly eyes framed with long lashes. "Your son is lovely."

"Thank you," Mirai returned happily, watching her son reaching for you. "Aww, Megumi likes you."

"Megumi," you repeated. "Blessing?"

"Yes," Toji said proudly and you gathered from his statement that he named the baby.

You looked towards Sukuna as if for assurance as you reached out. "May I hold him?"

"Sure." Toji handed Megumi to you and you followed after them as they led you and Sukuna into their home, marveling at how well-behaved he was, just leaning against your chest and sucking on his thumb, all warm and smelling like baby powder and everything that reminded you of happiness.

The two men went to the living room to catch up while you went to the kitchen with Mirai who was curiously asking you one thing after the other.

"Sukuna told us you're a student. What are you studying?" she asked as she stirred something in a pot.

"Comprehensive literature," you answered, untangling Megumi's hand from your hair.

"Are you sure you're okay carrying Megumi?" Mirai threw you a rueful smile.

You nodded, beaming warmly at the child. "I don't mind. He's so adorable."

Mirai smiled lovingly at her son. "Isn't he? I was so happy when I first had him and saw how much he looked like his dad."

"Yeah, he's like a mini version of Toji. He has your eyes though."

“Thank you.” She grinned. "So, how long have you known Sukuna?"

"Just almost half a year. Around that."

"Guy's whipped for you, Y/N."

"I heard that!" Sukuna called out from the living room. He suddenly entered the kitchen, plucking Megumi off your arms saying, "My turn. How's my favorite boy?"

You just snickered, your thoughts elsewhere. It got you wondering if you would even have met Sukuna if things didn't turn out the way they have. You were picturing Sukuna standing beside Mirai instead of Toji but you just couldn't and it got you contemplating that maybe things ended up the way they did because that's what's meant to be.

As opposed to your resentment to what they did to him, you were now glad, perhaps even thankful and more understanding of Sukuna's reasons for letting things go and remaining friends with them. Because if those things didn't happen, you won't have him. Because if they didn't turn out that way, you wouldn't be watching him being all silly and adorable with Megumi, giving you a picture of what kind of father he would be when he did have kids. Because then, you wouldn't be considering the possibility of a future with anyone…with him.

Then you froze as your feelings for him became clearer. Because why else would you be spending all your time with him, being close to him and getting to know him? Why were you so keen on making sure he was happy? Why were you hurting on his behalf? Why was the world suddenly a better place despite the fact that you're supposedly alone?

It was simple. You're in love with him.

"Y/N?" you heard his deep voice resonating from inside your head then louder as your vision began to focus. He was standing in front of you with Megumi in his arms.

"Huh?"

"You okay? You were spacing out."

"Just thinking." You bit your lower lip, looking apologetic.

"Getting lost in your own world again, I see?" he teased.

"Getting lost in yours is more like it."

He and Miriai looked at you at the same time, the latter giggling pretty much like Ieiri whenever you told her about Sukuna. "You two are so cute."

You brushed the comment off, approaching her. "How can I help?"

You set the table with Toji's help, listening to him talk about Megumi and Mirai with such profound fondness and pride. Just like Sukuna, his appearance was an irony to his funny and soft personality it was disconcerting.

"It's great to have guests over. We rarely do this but Sukuna comes here every Saturday, and well, he isn't a guest anymore," Mirai said as she fed Megumi.

"Thanks for having me then," you replied, still fixated on their kid who was babbling about with his mouth full while he repeatedly knocked a plastic spoon on his high chair.

The conversation was light, circling on their old days, but you knew they were trying to skirt around the ugly things. Mirai regaled you of how Toji got the scar on his mouth. Turns out he and Sukuna were street racers at some point. "Easy cash," as the former had put it. "I mean who wants a part time job if you earn thousands a night?"

"So, what do you plan to become after you graduate?" she asked you again.

"A writer, maybe?"

At that, Sukuna started telling them about your date at the fancy restaurant and how you pretty much nailed the story of the lone old woman who gave you wine. "She's amazing like that," he said fondly, absently patting you on your thigh.

"I'm sure Y/N here finds you impressive, too," Toji teased. "Right, Y/N?"

"Yeah, he smells awfully great it's making my thoughts incoherent," you sallied, "But jokes aside..." You let your voice trail off on purpose, gauging his reaction.

"What?" he prompted.

"That's for me to know," you finally stated, making the couple laugh.

"No fair!"

After lunch, you helped Mirai clean up. Megumi was asleep in his crib after his meal and the guys stood by the backdoor, enjoying some beer. You dried the plates quietly while she washed and told you about Toji.

"It's like raising two kids, really," she told you. "He doesn't pick up after himself and our Megumi is more considerate than he is."

"But you love him," you teased.

"With all that I am." Her eyes strayed to Sukuna then. "Cherish him. Don't let that one get away."

At her words, you felt the same hurt you did when you first learned what the real deal was with them from Maki. You blood boiled out of the blue as thoughts started racing in your head a hundred miles per second. How dare she say that to you when she herself let him go? How dare she hurt him like that and yet keep him as a friend?

The sound of something breaking brought you out of your trance, and you realized the plate you were wiping had fallen onto the floor. But your attention was on her, your steely eyes hard and intense as you said, "You're the last person I expect to be telling me such things."

"I..."

You stepped away from her only to be met by Sukuna's disappointed expression, but you ignored that as well as you turned away. "Excuse me,” you said, bowing slightly as you walked out of the kitchen and into the living room, grabbing your bag before walking out of the house.

The crisp autumn air blew coldly against you, ruffling your hair and your dress as you stood there, not really knowing where to go or what to do. Suddenly, you felt stupid for saying something like that to Mirai when she had been nothing but nice towards you, her and Toji. You also liked their son. And judging by how Sukuna looked at you, you had this niggling feeling that you've ruined it all, eating at you from the inside out.

Just then, the door opened and closed behind you. You didn't have to turn around to know it was Sukuna who followed you out. You've grown so accustomed to his presence that at times, he only had to look at you and you already understand what he wants to convey.

"Y/N, sweetheart, what's going on?" he asked, trying hard to keep the edge off his tone.

You didn't turn to face him, afraid of what you will see. "You heard what I said. Do I really have to explain?"

He walked around you, grabbing you by the shoulders, shaking you slightly. "I thought we're over this. I thought I already explained this to you."

That doesn't cut it, you thought but opted not to say it. He might have told you that he has forgiven and forgotten, and although you weren't involved in it, you still felt displeasure whenever you remembered it. It wasn't as if Mirai and Toji did you wrong, and it wasn't as if you had the right to say shit but she didn't have the right to tell you anything either knowing to herself what she had done. You didn't want to hear anything from her about what you ought to do and decide where Sukuna was concerned. It just didn't sit right with you.

"I know. I'm wrong. I get it," you snapped, shrugging his hands off you. "I wanna go home." You started walking away from him, but you stopped when he said, "What is wrong with you?"

You turned back, breath snagging as you let out a mirthless chuckle. "What is wrong with me?" you repeated, your voice coming out soft but with a bitter edge to it. "I know I am wrong for blurting out the things I did, and I am sorry."

"Y/N –"

"But don't strip me of my right to be angry when Mirai tells me to cherish you and not let you go as if she has any right to do it," you cut him off. "I didn't have the right to call her out on her transgressions to you, but don't tell me I can't cry or be mad at the fact that you had to go through all that because I care too damn much for you!"

Your eyes started to fill with tears as you regarded him, seeing the world come alive with blossoms dancing in the wind while in reality, the world was at its last legs, leaves falling all around you. Whenever you looked at him, you felt like everything was flourishing, filling your existence with beautiful things in an abundance of colors. "I'm so in love with you that I can't bear the thought of you getting hurt. I hate it when I know you're tired but you still smile for me anyway. I hate it when you look disappointed whenever I hesitate and couldn't make up my mind."

"I'm sorry for reacting the way I did. I was being a jerk, but that's how much I love you. I love you, Sukuna, more than I can possibly tell you. I can't pretend I don't."

"Say that again," he murmured.

"What?" you demanded gruffly, too caught up in your emotions to comprehend.

"You said you love me. Say it again." Now he looked like he was about to cry, eyes glistening even as he smiled wide with joy, drawing nearer and taking your hand in his.

You sighed in relief, feeling your chest loosen up. It felt great saying it out loud. Beyond just great. "I love you."

The moment you let go of the words, you were wrapped up in his warmth, his arms tight around you while you listened to the thundering beats of his heart. He held you at arm's length, looked deep into your eyes as he cupped your face and leaned in to claim your lips in a brief kiss. Spring has come in the middle of autumn, filling your senses and making you feel like you could fly. He held you in place, eyes closed as he touched his forehead to yours, letting out a shaky laugh.

"Do you mean that?" He opened his eyes slowly and you were lost in their depths as you nodded. "Yes."

"You haven't asked, but I happen to be just as in love with you if not more."

"I already knew that. How can I not when you show me every day? It's comforting to hear you say it out loud though." You smirked at him. "You know, when you don't think I'm asleep."

He stiffened against you. "You heard that?"

"God, it was so hard to keep my eyes closed and stop myself from reacting when you told me you're in love with me."

He clucked his tongue. "You waited this long to respond to me?"

"I told you I didn't wanna give it to you half-assed. I’m giving you my heart just as I want yours, and if you’re ready to entrust it wholly to me, I can’t just reciprocate with pieces of mine."

“You had it since the first day we met. I didn’t have to see everything else to know you’re the one who owns it.” Sukuna kissed you on the forehead, hugging you to him and just standing there with you, watching cars pass by the road, reveling in his proximity and his warmth. You didn’t need much of anything if you had him.

But then you broke out of his hold, realizing the mess you’ve made.

"What is it?"

"I have to apologize to our hosts. Stay here," you stated, walking back to the house to find the couple in the living room, standing there as if they were expecting you to come back. Without hesitation, you bowed before them. "I sincerely apologize for what I said. I should not have said that to you, Mirai. And it isn't my intention to indirectly hurt you, too, Toji. I'm sorry."

"What is this girl saying?" you heard Mirai say as she approached you and hugged you tight. "You silly girl. We deserve that and we don't deserve Sukuna. Everyone just gave us a free pass, and we were glad you were brave enough to say it to us like that. You have nothing to apologize for."

"Still..."

Toji shook his head. "No, Y/N. Thank you. For loving Sukuna and for giving us the chance to finally forgive ourselves, too."

At that, you smiled, nodding in understanding.

When it was time to leave, Megumi woke up and you had the chance to say goodbye to him, too, holding onto him until you had to get out the door.

"Visit us anytime, Y/N," Mirai said, winking. "Sukuna doesn't have to be with you."

"So, you're throwing me away cause you have Y/N now? Some friends you are," he sniped, causing another round of easy laughter.

"I'll come by soon," you promised, pecking Megumi on the cheek. "See you, angel."

***

"So, you're officially together now?" Suguru asked, helping you pack for the trip to the mountains Sukuna had planned, scheduled immediately after his return.

"Two weeks ago, but he had to go to London," you said, and in the next second, Ieiri and Satoru both brought out their wallets, handing bills to Suguru.

"I knew there was something different when he drove you home that afternoon."

"I can't believe you three are betting over my relationship with Sukuna," you muttered, zipping up your small luggage.

Suguru won fair and square though. He had been right to ask from the start when he walked in on you and Sukuna making out on the porch when the latter dropped you off. The drive then was quiet but you had the shut the guy up for teasing you about that "one hell of a confession," as he had put it. But he immediately took control, shoving you against the wall beside the door and kissing you stupid.

"What did I say about raising her on my own?" Suguru gloated, slinging an arm over your shoulder much to the annoyance of your supposed two other parents.

Satoru scoffed. "I was the one who did the hardest job of interrogating him the first time he came and brought our little girl dead drunk!"

"Yeah, he said you're intimidating," you told him, chuckling, and he positively glowed until you said, "But he said you apologized afterwards so..."

Suguru and Ieiri laughed hard at him.

"On a more serious note, Sukuna isn't gonna be as lucky the moment you get hurt, Y/N," Satoru stated calmly and the other two nodded in agreement. "Just putting it out there."

You would do the same for them, too, so you also agreed. "And if I'm the one causing him shit?"

"That's on him, too," Suguru said, ruffling your hair. "You're our princess, Y/N. It doesn't matter who's right or wrong when the time comes. You'll probably get an earful from us, too, cause we like the guy, but you will always have us first."

You clucked you tongue. "You're all being dramatic, but thanks. Much appreciated."

"It's the first time you're going steady with anyone. We're just making sure we've covered all the bases," Ieiri stated.

"Yeah, and before we forget..." Satoru took something out from under your bed, handing it to you.

You eagerly looked into the bag, thinking it was a present but you wanted to throw it at his face the moment you found out what it was.

"I got the bigger sizes cause Sukuna looks loaded in that department. Special edition, ultra-thin in – wait for it – mixed berry flavor." He winked. "Wrap it before you tap it."

"Ha ha, Satoru. You're really funny." You motioned to hit him, but laughed with him nonetheless as you rummaged through the bag. "Where the hell did you even get these?"

"Ordered them in from Amsterdam. You're welcome, princess."

"You're fucking weird for handing me rubbers, but thanks, dad." You handed the bag back to him. "You're giving them to Sukuna yourself though."

"Fine!"

And that he did when Sukuna arrived to come pick you up, strictly telling the man to open it in private much to the latter's confusion. Still, he accepted graciously.

"Don't open that thing," you said the moment you were in his car.

"That makes me want to open it now," he said.

You clucked you tongue, and shook your head. "Do that when I'm not looking." You tilted your head to have a better look at him, reaching over to make him face you. You frowned at the dark circles under his eyes. "What have you been doing in London?"

"Not sleeping enough is one of them, and I'm jetlagged." He took your hand in his and started planting butterfly kisses on your fingers. "I missed you."

"I missed you, too." You cupped the side of his face and leaned over, pecking him on the lips. "You're going to sleep the moment we get to our destination."

"But –"

"No buts." You took the key off the ignition. "And I'm driving." You got out of the car, rounding it to the driver's side, opening the door. "Scoot."

Sukuna grinned at you. "Is being bossed around what it entails to be your boyfriend, sweetheart?" he asked, swinging his legs towards the door.

You moved closer, standing between his legs. "And if I say yes? Do you want out?" you asked, flashing him a sultry smile as you drew closer to him, your breaths mingling.

"I can't say I don't like it." He kissed you, deeper than the peck you gave him earlier.

"It's safer if I drive," you spoke against his lips. "Move."

"Just this once," he acceded, moving towards the passenger side while you climbed behind the wheel, gunning the car out of the property. But opposite to his words, he was asleep not an hour into the drive.

You never really realized how long two weeks could be until you had to wait for Sukuna to come back safe and sound. Though your time had been occupied by your studies and every other thing you did, you were always distracted by your phone, waiting for his messages and calls that you had to find yet another distraction in the form of a new video game you've gotten over the mail just two days after he left. But that was just momentary as you finished it in three days of continual gaming. You even went to visit the Fushiguros the weekend prior much to Mirai's delight just to have a semblance of familiarity where Sukuna was involved but it just made you miss him more.

Absence makes the heart grow fonder, indeed. You could just laugh at yourself over the past days, thinking yourself selfish at the thought of not wanting him to go anywhere you couldn't easily reach him. But now that he was back, you are back to normal, and you knew you have to come to terms with accepting that it is a part of his job to be away from you every now and then if things are going to work out for the two of you.

You're whipped, and you know it. You've accepted that. Now, it's just a matter of not allowing yourself to become too dependent on his presence.

Sukuna woke up when you stopped for gas three hours later. Why he had to choose such a far off place to bring you to was beyond you, but you weren't complaining in that you'd go wherever he was, but it was more for the fact that he came straight out of the airport and yet he was traveling again and by car, too.

"You okay?" he asked while you munched on gummy bears, standing against the Jeep as you filled it with gas. "We can switch."

"I go on farther road trips with the boys and Ieiri every time we have the chance. Stop worrying about me."

He whined sleepily, his voice coming out thick, trapping you against the car with his body. "You're crabby today. It doesn't feel like you miss me."

"Oi, I had to order a new game just so I won't send stupid texts telling you to come back home. How dare you doubt that?"

He burst out laughing. "So you were nerding out while I was away?"

"Pretty much. Don't run away when one day, you walk into my room and find a monster holding onto my controller in the middle of pizza boxes and a whole lot of other mess. That's me needing to be brought out of my hole."

"Hey, don't do that when I go away for business trips." He looked seriously worried now. "You should do your normal routine."

"So don't say I didn't miss you because I was nearly that monster nerd I was telling you about." You popped a green gummy bear into his mouth. "And I'm still driving."

The drive continued for another two hours with you reaching the foot of the mountain at the side of the highway where you really had to switch with Sukuna since you didn't know the way.

"You didn't bring me here to murder me, did you?" you quipped, seeing how thick the forest was on the one-lane road going up the mountain. It was such green world that you almost wanted the feeling of being lost

"Probably. You're too bossy today."

"Hey, that's me being nice."

"I won't. I have other things in mind to do with you." He grinned mischievously at you, winking to which you just shook your head.

Soon enough, you reached a small, traditional village which was pretty much turned into a hot spring resort. Sukuna stopped at the largest building in the vicinity, telling you to wait in the car as he disembarked, returning very shortly later with a key dangling on his thumb. The drive continued for another twenty minutes until he parked in front of this old-style house which didn't look old at all, located at a much more secluded area of the resort. He handed you the key, telling you to go ahead while he unloads your stuff.

Yup. There was nothing old about the facilities at all with the south-facing side made entirely of glass that looked over the private hot spring and a view of the mountains beyond that. The kitchen was as modern as it could get, and judging by how Sukuna was carrying bag after bag of things into the fridge, he planned to cook during your entire stay there. You took over the job while he carried your luggage into the house. Poor thing did the shopping before coming to pick you up without telling you.

"Go shower and sleep. I can handle it from here," you told him when he entered the kitchen again, muscular arms crossed over his wide chest, eyeing you appreciatively.

Instead of doing as he was told, he came up to you, standing behind you, hands fastening onto your waist as he drew your hair to one side. He nuzzled your neck, slowly making his way up your jawline where he pressed his lips and lingered there for a bit. You smiled, reaching up with your hand to place it on his cheek.

"You need to rest, my love."

"Say that again," he whispered.

"You need to rest?" You teased, feeling him nip at your ear. "My love?"

"You keep annoying me today."

"You keep commenting about how I'm behaving today," you countered, facing him. "Come on, let me boss you around for now. You really need to get some shuteye."

"You'll let me boss you around later then?"

"Deal."

***

"Back already?"

You looked over your shoulder as you combed through your hair when you heard the sliding door open. A smile graced your lips seeing as how Sukuna looked better, more well-rested and more like himself after a long sleep, only coming to at nightfall. He took a dip in the hot spring after dinner and was returning from it.

He came in wearing that dark blue yukata provided by the resort, feeling your face grow hot when you realized you were ogling him yet again. How can you not when the garment hung loosely over his shoulder. He didn't bother tying it properly, and from the partition of the robe, you can see the broad expanse of his chest, the smattering of inked patterns following the sinews of his form.

It wasn't the first time you were seeing his tattoos, the artistic floral and tribal patterns making themselves known to you that day you woke up to him naked from the waist up. However, you did not realize they expanded all the way down the right side of his body, all the way down to the outer area of his thighs. Since he was just wearing a pair of boxers underneath the yukata, when he stepped forward, you were able to see it, and as curiosity won over you, you didn't look away even when he raised a brow at you, the ghost of amusement playing at the corners of his mouth.

You stood up, walking slowly towards him, stopping when you were less than a foot away. Your eyes shifted hesitantly between his face and that area of his anatomy silently asking for his permission to see more of it but your hands refused to move midway.

"What is it?" he asked, not exactly sure as to what you were trying to do.

Biting your lower lip. "M-may I..." You couldn't say it out loud so you pointed at his tattoos, feeling a lump forming on your throat when you realized how bold you were being.

"You don't have to ask," Sukuna whispered, taking your hand and placing it on his chest, warm and alive underneath your palm, while he drew his robe apart, eyes intent on you as you followed the expanse of skin that served as a canvass to the artfully-made representation of the four seasons in a single branch of a cherry blossom tree, meandering downwards. From his chest going down the length of his side, your hand traced over the colored patterns of smaller branches that progressed from summer to winter. Your fingers lingered over his iliac crest where new buds of the familiar pink blossoms that promised spring were immortalized on his skin.

Sukuna's breathing had deepened the moment your hand reached lower, and you relished the fact that you had that effect on him, too. You could feel heat behind your eyes as your blood rushed up to your head at the realization that you could do that to him, and even greater than that, the reality of just how much you wanted this man in front of you, how much you wanted to make him yours in every sense of the word and how much you wanted to be his and his alone.

In the dim light of the moon that was filtered by the mist rising from the springs through the open sliding doors, you looked up at Sukuna, the man you love with every single fiber of your being, leaning your head on his chest, listening to his beating heart that mirrored the thrumming in your chest.

You brushed your lips onto his bare skin, trailing kisses across his chest before looking up at him and letting yourself be devoured by those deep, hooded eyes as you stepped even closer.

"You're beautiful," you breathed out, pulling him down towards you, tears pooling in your eyes when he finally kissed you, taking your breath away.

Sukuna's large hands roamed your body as he continued to mold your mouth against his, his tongue pushing between your lips which you welcomed with your own, loving his taste, hot and wet and stirring you alive. His hands were warm and nimble as he kneaded the flesh of your hip through the fabric of your kimono, traveling lower to where the garment parted so he can slide his hand underneath. They made their way to your ass, squeezing hard before he slid lower, hooking both of his hands under your thighs. He lifted you up, urgently maneuvering your legs to wrap around his waist.

Neither of you came up for air even as he walked deeper into the room where the bed was, pawing and hungrily devouring each other, what began as a gentle kiss turning into a scorching show of dominance as you both took from each other, not quite getting enough.

"I love you," he rasped, breathless as he nipped at the shell of your ear. "I want all of you."

He then continued kissing you, seizing you at the back of your neck, roughly nibbling on your lips then progressing towards the columns of your throat, spreading the V that formed the collar of your robe. You ran your fingers through his hair, intoxicated by his scent, your toes curling as his hands travelled to outline the sides of your body possessively.

Sukuna then returned to your lips after leaving open-mouthed kisses all over your chest and collar bones, and you kissed him back just as fervently as he pressed you down against his clothed crotch, making you shiver as you felt stirrings at the pit of your stomach. You gasped at the feeling of him poking against your thigh but before you could recover, he entered his hot tongue into your mouth again, gently luring yours to mingle with his. You just let him have his way, not quite believing what was happening as you felt your skin bursting into flames wherever he touched you.

Sukuna lifted you slightly off the bed, putting you down so that you were facing away from him. From behind, he guided you towards the pillows and snaked his hands around your waist, reaching for the sash of your robe and tugging on it. When he was successful, he tossed it somewhere on the floor and reached over your shoulders, slowly feeling for the lapels of the robe, making sure his fingers brushed against your skin, sending jolts of electricity all over your body as he peeled the garment off you in deliberate and calculated slowness, coupled with his mouth following the train down your nape to your shoulders before he pushed you face down on the bed.

"Oh god," you whispered, fighting for air as he gathered your hair to your left shoulder and licked the shell of your ear. "What are you thinking about? You're too stiff. Relax," he said in that deep, sensual voice that turned your legs to jelly.

You grabbed onto the pillow, anticipating what he was gonna do next when you felt his febrile tongue making a trail on your right shoulder, the action morphing into sloppy, wet kisses going down your bare back until you could not feel your robe anywhere near your body anymore. He has already undressed you.

You were on edge and just hyper aware of everything he was doing and every single touch he left on your body made you feel like it was leaving a mark and being absorbed by every cell in your system. It felt good being this close to him, being touched by him and you wouldn’t really mind if he marked you everywhere. You wanted to be his and you wanted the world to know.

His hands travelled everywhere it could touch, pushing you to the edge and making you feel like you were burning slowly, the kind that made every corner of your body tingle with anticipation. What you didn't realize was how tight you were holding the pillow to yourself until he suddenly mentioned it.

"Y/N?"

"Hmm?" Your voice came out at a higher pitch, making you want to smack yourself. This was that you wanted and yet you were being all jittery.

He chuckled softly, stopping his ministrations. "What are you doing?"

At that, you pushed yourself off the bed a bit and turned your head sideways to meet his gaze from over your shoulder. “Sorry, I’m just…”

“Yes?”

“Overwhelmed,” you whispered, chuckling slightly. While it wasn’t your first time, everything felt new with the added sensations that your deep emotions for him were throwing into the mix. “How do you want me?”

He turned you over on your back, chuckling. "For starters, cut out the pillow hugging." He pried the thing off your arms and chucked it against the headboard. Sukuna then hovered over you, pinning your hands on either side of your head then began his assault on your neck going lower and lower until he reached your left breast and started licking and tugging on your nipple, his other hand busy kneading the other.

“You are beautiful,” he said, mouth moving against the swell of your flesh while his other hand took possession of the other hand, tentatively squeezing with his long fingers.

You let out a moan, craving for more but not certain whether you could take it or not with your heart feeling like it was going to burst out of your chest. You wanted him to touch you more and as if he read your mind, he returned to kissing you intensely until you thought you couldn't breathe, well aware of how his other hand was taking off your panties. Your heart was beating erratically in your chest as you anticipated the moment, but halfway down your thighs, he raised himself a bit and laid himself on top of you, burying his face into your hair.

“Are you sure you want this?” he asked cautiously as he raised himself slightly, looking into the depths of your eyes as if he was looking right through you.

Cupping his face, you rose slightly on your elbows, pressing your lips at the corner of his mouth. "A hundred times yes. I'm yours," you said with all the conviction you could muster in your hazy state – love drunk, kiss drunk, Sukuna drunk.

At your response, he latched his lips onto the skin of your neck, kissing lower and lower, passing over your breasts where he lingered, biting and sucking gently. You hissed as you watched him progress downward, his mouth doing all the magic from the valley of your chest down to your stomach, his hand reaching for the garment he had taken off you halfway down your legs, discarding it. The rough pads of his hands brushed over your thighs, pushing them apart as he lowered himself between them.

You let out a sharp cry when he licked a long stripe on your nether lips, his hot tongue swirling over your sensitive nub. He hummed in approval upon tasting you while he teased your folds with two of his digits. Without a warning he simultaneously pushed his fingers into you and sucked on your clit, building a rhythm that had you seeing stars with every thrust, coaxing out whimpers from your slightly parted lips. Your hips bucked towards him when you felt him reaching deep enough to touch your sweet spot again and again.

Sukuna anchored his arms around your thighs, his elbows on the mattress as he held you steady, continuing to lap at you and move his digits inside you as you felt that familiar sensation of coming undone, guiding you through it until you released so hard your juices squirted out despite his fingers still inserted in you, making a right mess of his mouth, chin and hand.

You spasmed against him but he didn't let go, continuing with his ministrations. He removed his fingers from inside you and started eating you out like a starved man, catching all of your essence from your initial orgasm and cajoling you into another one as he shoved his tongue right into you.

Your hand reached down, fingers tangling with his cherry blossom locks, not knowing whether you want to push him or keep him right where he was. He moaned as he felt your walls clenching, the vibrations caused by his voice stimulating you further, and in no time, you were releasing into his mouth again, your high hitting you like a speeding truck, slamming onto you and leaving you a shaking mess.

Your chest heaved up and down as you tried to calm down, chuckling in between each intake of breath when you felt Sukuna planting ephemeral kisses on your feverish skin, working his way up this time, worshipping your body before catching your lips in his where you tasted yourself on him.

"Can I eat you forever?" he asked with a groan. "You taste exquisite, my love."

"Alright," you panted, "But before that..." You looked him in the eye, running your hand down his chiseled abs until you reached the band of his boxers, excitement filling you as you palmed his crotch over the fabric. You snickered when his whole body seized on top of you, but you were just as out of breath feeling how massive and warm he was against your palm. You bit your lip as your hand moved, rubbing him slowly. Sukuna's eyes drooped a little as he drank in the clouded look in your eyes.

Satoru wasn't wrong about the condoms, and it further got proven to you when you pushed Sukuna’s underwear down and he rose up to his knees, finishing the job. You swore your eyes were going to pop out of their sockets when his length was released from its restraints, slapping against his stomach, thick, long and standing proud, its pink tip leaking precum that dripped down, following a prominent vein on its underside. You never wanted to put anything in your mouth as much as you wanted his dick, but the idea of it stretching you and ripping you apart from between your legs was more intriguing.

Sukuna smirked down at you. "Like what you see, sweetheart?"

"That's an understatement." You swallowed hard, taking you herculean effort to look at his face instead. "I don't just wanna look at it though."

He reached over to the nightstand, taking out that familiar bag from Satoru, quickly rummaging through it. "I'd be insulted if that's all you wanna do." He said as he took out a packet, about to rip it but you shook your head, taking it away from him.

He arched a brow at you. "You don't...Are you –"

"Stop asking me if I'm sure. I'm certain as I'll ever be." You smiled at him. "Or maybe I'll change my mind if you keep asking."

Laughing, he bent down, positioning himself between your legs as he took possession of your lips once more. You took a deep breath when you felt his tip nudging between your folds, teasing you while he busied himself with tracing the topography of your body as if committing it to memory.

Watching him now, you wished you've met him earlier in your life, loved him longer than you have at present. If you knew someone like Sukuna would come to care for you as much as he does, even in acts that are mostly governed by sheer instinct and senses, driven by need and lust, you would have combed the earth to find him. He cares so damn much for you that you knew he will find it in him to stop if you just said so even at his own expense.

"Sukuna..." his name spilled from your mouth, wanting him all for yourself, body, heart and soul. "Baby, please..." You were pleading, but for what, you didn't know exactly.

"Yes, my love?" he questioned, a smug grin playing at the corners of his mouth as he watched the mess that you are beneath him. "Tell me what you want."

"You," you whimpered, raising your hip to meet his cock, hard and burning on your skin. "I want you," you breathed out, the delicious torture in your voice coming to a crescendo when he thrust in agonizingly slow, making your wish his command.

He stretched you, gradually, gently as if he was afraid to break you, but your breath hitched for a different reason entirely. His girth left a slight burn as he pushed in, the rapturous feel of him invading your space and being wrapped in your flesh making a heated mess out of you as you grabbed everything you can get a grip on – the sheets, his shoulders, the pillow nearest to you – trying to anchor yourself from the sudden high of knowing he was inside you.

Your eyes watered at the sheer thought of being connected to him so deeply, and you found yourself falling to blissful surrender when he finally bottomed out. You felt him twitch inside you, but instead of moving as he wished, he cupped your face, delicately brushing his fingers over your flushed cheeks. He had that look of disquiet as he examined your expressions.

"You okay?"

You nodded, beaming in your state of stupor. "Please…move."

Sukuna begins to do as he was told, sliding in and out and acquainting you to his rhythm, his intense eyes hooded yet intense as he regarded you, aware of every nuance of your expressions with every single thrust. He started picking up the pace when he felt you wrap your legs around him, hitting you deeper every single time.

Pleasurable groans elicited from Sukuna's lips as he held himself up, driving his hips against yours repeatedly. "You're so tight," he rasped, his snagged breaths hot on your ears. "You feel so good."

"So good," you repeated, completely going out of it when the mere brushing of his rod against your walls drove you over the edge. You clenched tight around him and he let out a groan, eyes rounding when he realized you were close.

"Let go, baby. Cum for me," he said between pants as he pounded onto you unrelentingly.

You spoke broken syllables of his name as you came around him, riding you through your high. Acid white flashes started to flash behind your eyelids, your back arching from the bed as you keened loudly, too enraptured and absorbed in the pleasure that he was giving you.

However, before you could even recover, Sukuna lifted you off the bed, holding you against him so that your breast were rubbing against his taut chest. You wrapped your arms around him, gripping onto his shoulders while you sat astride him on your knees.

"You'll give me one more, won't you, my love?" he said, thrusting up to you whilst he gripped your waist so tight you knew you will have bruises after, making you meet every single push of his thick length.

Both your moans filled the room along with skin hitting skin, the friction between you two kept at bay by the sheen of sweat that covered your bodies. He held onto the back of your neck, roughly kissing you, your tongues dancing the lovers' minuet. Your lungs begged for air, but you were reluctant to be released from Sukuna's wild kisses while he fucked you senseless.

"Fuck," he growled through gritted teeth. "I love you," he whispered repeatedly like a mantra.

You felt him getting harder inside you as he hastened his pace, ramming into you faster and stronger, and in no time, you were screaming out his name as you came undone again with him following shortly after you did, a deep groan falling out of his mouth in a dragged out note when he spilled his seed inside of you, making you feel even fuller, your walls throbbing around his softening length.

Spent, you both fell back on the welcoming softness of the mattress with him still inside you. He landed on top of you, catching his breath while he rested his head on the crook of your neck while you wrapped your arm around him, your fingers carding through his damp locks.

“You’re amazing, Y/N,” he purred in hushed tones once he caught your breath.

Your brows furrowed in perplexity. “I didn’t do anything.”

He shook his head, pulling out and rolling away, his eyes between your thighs, watching as your mixed juices dripped down on the sheets. “I’m not just talking about your body and how you felt. That in itself is amazing, but I’m referring to everything that you are.”

You felt heat creeping up your neck, all the way to your scalp. Abashed, you covered your face with your hands. “Don’t say things like that. You’re making me a shy mess. Geez.”

“Hey, look at me.” He clucked his tongue when you didn’t move, taking your hands off of your face. When you finally did as you were told, he said, “I mean it. Sometimes, I can’t believe you’re real.”

“I should be saying that. You’re so kind to me, and I feel how much you care for me every single time you say or do something. And I’m just selfish, really.”

“No, you’re not?”

“I am, Sukuna. I want you all to myself from that time you first kissed me, but I didn’t really do much to make that happen because I’m also a wimp, so thank you for going the extra mile for me.” You smiled slightly, feeling your eyes fill with tears.

“Stop saying that.”

“But it’s true. You’re always the one putting in the effort.”

“Because I want to.” He suddenly sat up, pulling you by the arm to lift you up when you gasped, feeling a sudden jolt of pain at the base of your back and the joints on your thighs at your sudden movement. “What’s wrong?” he asked, alarmed.

You raised a finger, moving on the mattress on your own while you held onto his arm for support. “Give me a moment.”

Sukuna regarded you with wide eyes. “Did I hurt you?” He sat beside you, wrapping arm around your shoulder and soothingly rubbing your arm. “Are you aching anywhere?”

“A bit, but it’s the good kind.” You smirked at him. “You’re amazing,” you said, imitating his tone earlier when he said you’re beautiful, your eyes traveling to his crotch. “You wrecked me, my love.”

He didn’t know whether to laugh or be upset. “You say the most outrageous things and it doesn’t help that you don’t hold back either.”

“Too shocking?” you offered.

“Scandalous!” he quipped, chuckling and you joined in on the laughter, the merry sound breaking through the stillness. “Can I carry you now?”

“Sure.” You lifted your arms, latching onto his neck, letting him take you to the bathroom.

“Let’s wash up and take a dip.”

You nodded and let him have his way around you, standing on the shower stall with him as he did everything while you just held onto him, your legs still wobbly. He kissed you on the cheek, the action soft and delicate, filling you with happiness. You can’t believe he is real.

“I’m sorry if I hurt you,” he spoke against your skin.

You pulled away from him, placing your hand on either side of his face, and with a triumphant smile, you said, “I’m not. Never will be.”

“I love you.”

“I love you more. Don’t argue.” You pecked him on the lips.

Sukuna beamed at you toothily. “Alright, sweetheart.”

He carried you out of the bath and out of the sliding doors that led to the hot spring, setting you down into the water carefully as if you’d break if he didn’t take caution. The hot water felt glorious on your skin, immediately melting the knots of your muscles as you sat between his legs, both of you submerged chest-deep.

“Damn, that feels good,” you sighed, mollified as you leaned against Sukuna’s broad chest, closing your eyes in bliss. “I can stay here forever.”

“Are you talking about the hot spring?”

“Yes and no,” you said without hesitation. “The water feels nice, but it wouldn’t be complete without you holding me.”

“You’re being sweet now after bossing me around earlier?” He wrapped his arms around you, placing his chin on your shoulder. “We can always come here when we both have free time. And I’ll always hold you like this.”

“I like that.”

“I love you,” he mumbled, nuzzling on the spot below your ear and breathing in deeply. “You smell divine.”

“I know. I smell like you.”

“Thank heavens then cause that’s what seemed to lure you to me,” he kidded.

You just smiled, reaching blindly to place your palm on his cheek, trying to get a semblance of reality although it was already staring you in the face, the emotions and sensations he has making you feel very much real, but you seem to be in a dream state, unable to come to terms with the fact that spring has finally come for you in the person of the man whose arms held you tight and close to his heart.

“Sukuna…”

“Yes, my love?”

“Thanks for existing."

-THE END-

So, I made Megumi's mom's name here "Miriai." I made her an OC because I can't just keep referring to her as "she/her." It's quite confusing. I hope this doesn't bother anyone. I cringed, too, trust me.

Okay, Toji is also OOC here. Haha! I went all the way with conjuring these characteristics and since Sukuna, my love, is super soft here (he has cherry blossom tats XD), why not Toji, too?

Anyway, I would like to say thank you to everyone who read this fic! Stay tuned for more. Love you guys :)

Additional notes are available in the masterlist, particularly on the reasons why I wrote some things the way I did.

Thank you so much for reading. Likes, comments and reblogs are deeply appreciated! Hope you enjoyed it.

© ORIGINAL WORK BY nanaminokanojo. CHARACTERS ARE INSPIRED BY GEGE AKUTAMI'S JUJUTSU KAISEN. [20210630]

PHOTO/IMAGE/GIF/FANART SOURCES FULLY CREDITED TO THE RESPECTIVE OWNERS.

[potato-jem]

no work, just you spending your days in rome and eating pasta 😌😌😌 and that’s so frustrating!!! of course you are all going to be stressed if you’re being overworked, that manager needs to get her priorities straight. my job at the moment sucks because they won’t do anything over the minimum labour, so if we are busy, we can’t call people in most of the time 😭😭😭 can our managers just roster properly please??

literally! even if we could just send a little thing, just for us to try what the other person is having would be good. CAN YOU IMAGINE HOW HEARTBROKEN I WAS? I HAD TO ORDER SOMETHING ELSE 😭😭😭 i think you should come over and add it, because they would definitely listen to you 😌😌😌 

i am always in need of good food and wine 😭 i’m glad you can at least talk to your friend about it, but i would see if there are any other job opportunities available. i don’t think it’s worth putting yourself through all that stress, even if you do really like the job. at the end of the day, you only have a job to get money and to live. you spend a large amount of your time every week at work, so you need to make sure it is something that doesn’t make you super stressed out and dread going to... but that’s just what i think! 

we had three people on like six devices with a million tabs open. it was so stressful, but we got there in the end 😂😂😂

ahh how exciting!!!! is this for niall horan’s tour?? because i did see that he was going on tour and i was wondering if you were going to go! (obviously yes)

they both don’t really drink, whereas i do 😂😂😂 so probably a bit more because i have been a bit more trained in drinking than the both of them combined. even then, when i drink, i get more nurturing??? in real life, i’m not the kind of person to put my feelings on display or be overly affectionate, so when i drink, i’m a bit better with that! 

i also had to tell myself that i was on holiday and it’s fine that i spent my money, but i still feel guilty 😭😭😭 i’m manifesting that you’ll be able to get those tickets somehow!!

the pile was probably the height of my whole torso, my arms hurt so much 😂 i did manage a little self control though, so it wasn’t as big as what it could have been! i mean i can admit i have a young looking face, but what makes them think i’m bold enough to take something up to the register if i wasn’t of age? 😂 and i’m surprised you would get id’ed with all the tattoos you have! surely that’s enough of an indicator that you’re an adult 😂😂😂 and we’ll have to see!! although i need to stop buying books if i have any hopes of reading them all 😭😭

and the worst (best) part of the girl dancing on the pole was she was wearing this huge jacket and then took it off to go onto the pole AND MY GOD. i love women so much, they mean the world to me <3

aww cece 🥺🥺🥺 that’s so adorable!!! i love when other queer people come up to you because they feel safe enough to compliment you <3 it’s such a heartwarming feeling! and the fact they were so observant! that made my day too!!

he doesn’t have a name yet, but i’ll find one eventually! i can’t just not play with his ears, they’re so soft 🥺

it was a stressful class, BUT I NEVER HAVE TO DO IT AGAIN!!! (unless i failed idk) i kinda have an idea of what to do with my short story, so i’ll start it soon. but considering i slept most of today, i am just so happy that this semester is almost over 😭😭😭 i wish i could have every other week off, it would be so much better for me, but i have to save money for upcoming trips (i just put in my application to study abroad for a semester, so i’m hoping that i’ll be accepted!!) 

good policy to have, i must say! oh well, money is temporary, tattoos are forever? 😂

i’ve just got a couple of easy things due this week, and then i have a week off classes to do my other assignments, so it should be pretty okay! i’m gonna give you a blanket and some snacks so you can take some time to watch a movie and relax <333333333

hello nero my beloved soulmate!! <33

i’m back and i am already suffering from severe PHD (post holiday depression, i decided it is a thing). my friend left last night and i hate this. it’s so unfair that we live in two different countries and we can’t see each other as much as we would like to. i’ll probably see her soon, i should have another week off in august and we were talking about me visiting her this time so hopefully i’ll be able to go.

anyway, on to the trip!! it was so cool!! i mean the first week we stayed in tuscany, we went around florence and a few other cities around here, and we got tattoos!!! i told you about this already but they are so cute!!! our little irish dinosaurs (they’re irish because we met in ireland <3 they’re named saoirse and niamh).

then for the second week we went to rome!! oh it was so nice!! we found the perfect weather. it was always sunny and warm enough to go around in shorts, but never too hot not to be able to explore. we went for the usual places: the colosseum, the pantheon, the squares and fountains, all that. but also we accidentally found ourselves into the roman forums and they were amazing!! i’d never been in them, only seen them from above, but they are so big, you can see a whole city. but the highlight was ostia antica. it was this archeological site near rome and it’s so quiet because not may people know it. it’s an 84 acres site where you can literally walk into houses and shops and temples and theaters from the roman period. and it’s amazing because usually rome is very protected, like there are fences and barriers everywhere, you can’t get too close to a lot of stuff, but in ostia antica we could literally touch the ruins, walk through them and find our way back in a maze of doors and corridors. it was so cool!!! also that’s where i found the cats!! they were so cute and friendly 🥺

last thing before i close this letter. the food!!! oh the food. we found this little restaurant on the very first night, which was actually so close to the trevi fountain, and it was so cheap and good (very rare combination to find in the middle of rome). they had some of the best spaghetti i’ve ever tried. also we kept going back there in the next days so they recognized us and they were so nice because they offered us appetizers and wine and they always remembered that we liked to order three plates of pasta to share between the two of us. they were so nice!!

i really needed this trip. i needed to be off work for a few weeks and just disconnect from all the drama and stress. and the good food and wine helped a lot with that lol. but seriously i’m so happy, it was an amazing trip and it was so good to see my friend again after so long <3

but enough about me now!! how are you doing nero?? what have you been doing these last two weeks??

also, about our last letter, i am very happy that you are following my orders and planning a very relaxing trip :) you deserve to not even think about uni when you’re on a trip. and it’s gonna be so fun to dance to that kind of music!! can’t wait to hear all about that one!!

and i’m very happy you’re obsessed with me getting tattoos because this is turning into a sickness. i can’t stop now :’)

but here are my other two tatts!!! the little rainbow one is very simple but very personal. i’ve been waiting forever to get it and it looks perfect 🥺 (yayyy you can start booking stuff!!! that means tattoos coming soon!!!)

i’m enclosing a hug and a really big plate of cacio e pepe (a kind of spaghetti with cheese and black pepper) just because one can never have too much pasta <3333

hi cece my beloved soulmate!!!!

i believe phd (post holiday depression) is a thing, i get it every time. it’s sad that your friend has gone home, but think about august!!! that should be so fun!!!

i’ve seen pictures of tuscany and it’s so beautiful!! and yes tattoos!! the fact that they are irish dinosaurs named saoirse and niamh because you met in ireland is the cutest story behind a matching tattoo ever 🥺🥺

oh rome!!!! that weather sounds lovely, i’m glad it was around for the entire trip!! sounds like you got up to quite a lot!! i’m literally imagining you walking around and pointing out these little tourist attractions 🥺 but ostia antica sounds so beautiful. a whole 84 acres to explore and experience the ancient roman life?? i would go crazy in there, especially with all the cats!!

oh the food sounds incredible!!! it’s so amazing you found something good and cheap!!! but those people sound so nice 🥹🥹 i’m glad they also added to such a wonderful break you had! i feel like pasta now…

you definitely needed that trip!! just a refresh is sometimes all you need, and good food and wine are recommended to help relax by doctors actually 😌😌😌 but i’m so happy you got to see your friend after so long and i’m so glad that you enjoyed yourself!!!!

i’ve been doing alright!! i had my trip to sydney and my twice concert, and it was so much more fun than i thought it would be!!! so i took my best friend and a family friend of mine, and my manager from work came too, but we all booked our concert tickets together so it was me and my friends, my manager and her brother and his partner. (don’t even ask me how stressful buying six tickets was)

the japanese place opened up again, and we were staying somewhere even closer to it. we basically walked everywhere, because the train station is in the shopping centre next to the japanese place, and that was only ten minutes away. so i took my friends to eat more ramen than we could see and we shared a bottle of soju (my friends are lightweights and it was VERY funny to watch. i had to finish the bottle off though)

and then we did lots of activities on the tuesday before the concert and we went to that album shop and book shop again and i spent way too much money, cece’s orders 😌😌 i spent so much money in the album shop they gave me a free album and preorder benefit photocards (which are really rare!!) and i had to show my id in the book store because i bought a level one restricted novel (actually banned in my state, but my professors made me too curious), which was quite funny

the twice concert was so fun, literally everyone in the audience were dancing and singing, and i was gay panicking and it was wonderful! each of the members of twice also had a solo performance and they did so well! one of them, momo, had this dance where she HAD A POLE?!?!? AND SHE HAD NEVER POLE DANCED BEFORE?? she was so good, i will save your eardrums by not sending the video i took 😌

anyways, here’s the photo they posted at the end!! we are in the centre and slightly to the right <3 (i’m sure you’ll see me 😂😂)

and then we actually got the chance to go to the harbour bridge and the opera house, which are in the same place, so we didn’t waste too much time there! and then we went to this room of claw machines near the eateries and i managed to win two things!! (one of them i spent way too much money to grab out, but he looked so lonely and i had to get my son out 😭😭) and then we had gelato mochi, which my friend found. so they get a scoop of ice cream and wrap it with mochi! we all got two, because none of us can make a decision and it really was a good end to the trip 🥺

other than that, i am running a little behind on uni, but i decided to use some of my leave and take the week off work. i’m just going to smash out the essays i have due (and overdue) and i’ll probably be able to rest better during the big exam session 😌

i’ve been looking forward to seeing these two and you didn’t disappoint! the rainbow one is adorable and the font for the script on your ribs is beautiful!!! i think i might be addicted to your tattoo addiction 😂 (yay!!! i’m so excited!!)

i really wanted this cacio e pepe, all this talking of food made me hungry! i’m squeezing you back real tight and i’m giving you a bowl of ramen <3333333

[atlafan]

Lock the Door

a/n: college!Harry one shot because why the f not??????? I’ve wanted to write a good college!Harry au for aw while, and I’m happy with this. 11K of friends to lovers. (not proofread) 

Warnings: Smut.

It was junior year of college, Y/N and her friends were thrilled to finally be out of the dorms. Even though they were still living on campus, they were in a student apartment, and incredibly thankful. Now instead of sharing a bathroom with hundreds of other people, there would only be four of them. The only thing was Y/N’s parents weren’t thrilled about the people she was rooming with.

There was her best friend, Liv, who her parents actually really liked. It was the other two roommates that made them feel uneasy. See, Liv really wanted to live with her boyfriend Chris, but they didn’t want to exactly live by themselves, and the student apartments for just two people were really expensive. They’d been dating since second semester their freshman year so it wasn’t weird that they wanted to be in closer proximity. Y/N also thought Chris was an amazing person. He and Liv never made her feel like a third wheel, it was an ideal situation. The three would have been fine to live together, but the university had certain policies in place. One guy was not allowed to live with two girls, they needed another guy. That’s when the topic of Harry came up.

//

“I know he’s not your favorite of my friends, but the other people he was supposed to live with are going off campus, which he can’t afford to do.”

“It’s not that he’s not my favorite, I just don’t know him that well.” Y/N shrugged. “If that’s the case, I think Liv and I should share a room…”

“Yeah, that works. Chris and I don’t wanna be on top of each other all the time, we’re just sick of going across campus all the time.” Liv says. “So, you’d really be okay with Harry living with us? You’ve said before you don’t really care for his lifestyle…”

“He’s just not the first person I would hang out with, but if it means we get this apartment, then I’m cool with it. We’ll get to know each other better if we live together, right?”

//

When Y/N broke the news to her parents they got into a big fight with her about it, but she assured them that a lot of other students did what she and her friends were doing. Living with boys really wasn’t that big of a deal. If anything it would give her practice for when she someday actually got a boyfriend that she would eventually move in with.

The four of them got coffee together the morning they had to have the housing application in. Harry didn’t say much, clearly not a morning person, but he seemed alright with the situation. He and Chris were good enough friends, and he was also excited to not be in a dorm next year.

“I just have one request.” Y/N says. “A lot of the apartments usually have one room that’s bigger than the other, from what I’ve noticed. I’d like for Liv and I to have the bigger room. Chris, I’ve seen your dorm, you literally have like nothing in there. Liv and I have a ton clothes and other things that we’ll space for…”

Chris and Harry look at each other and shrug.

“Alright, that’s not problem.” Chris says. “We should make a group text so over the summer we can see who’s bringing what. We need to figure out dishes and other kitchen shit.”

“And we’ll still need a mini fridge for extra shit, one of my friends was tellin’ me there’s not much room in the apartment fridges. I can bring the one I have.”

“I have a microwave.” Y/N says. “Happy to bring that too.”

“We’ll also need a chore chart.” Liv says. “Just because Y/N and I will be the women of the house does not mean we’ll be the maids. I am not going to be on my hands and knees cleaning the bathroom all the time. We should also pool in money for toilet paper and stuff like that.”

“Good idea, babe.” Chris kisses her cheek and Harry rolls his eyes.

That was is right there, the attitude that turned Y/N’s stomach. She thought Chris and Liv were a really cute couple, their affection didn’t bother her at all, but Harry seemed overly annoyed. All it was, was a peck on the cheek.

//

You all wished each other a good summer when the time came. The four of you group texted off and on best you could to make sure there was little miscommunication about who was to bring what. Since Harry was an international student, he would be moving in a week before everyone else. Y/N was actually happy about this because he would be there to help her move in. She’d be coming up the night before move in to get a good parking spot, and then her parents would come the next day with the rest of her things.

For the first time, she texted Harry outside the group chat when she arrived at her apartment. He opened the door for her only wearing a pair of shorts. Her eyes grew wide, and he notices.

“Sorry, it’s hotter than satin’s asshole in here, I hope you brought a fan for yourself.” He rubs the back of his neck, and you laugh.

“I did. That’s the worst thing, no A/C in these old apartment. At least it’s only hot like this for a couple of weeks, right?” He hums his response as she walks in. “To be honest I was expecting a mess…but it looks good in here.”

“Not much to make a mess with.” He shrugs. “I rearranged some of the furniture in the living area so it was less tight next to the kitchen. Got the TV set up too.”

“I can see that, it looks nice.” You smile.

“So…do you like need some help with your shit?”

“That would be great, actually. The microwave is pretty heavy.”

“Thank god you brought it with you. I’ve been dying for some popcorn.”

“Great, you can stink it right up.”

“Relax, I was kidding.” He rolls his eyes. “Take a joke, Y/N.”

Her mouth falls open as he walks out to her car. He opens the trunk and hoists the microwave out while she grabs her luggage bags that were full of clothes.

“I can bring that up for you. It’s an up and up, so Chris and I are on that level, and you and Liv will be up top. That was the bigger room just like you requested.”

“Thanks, I appreciate that.”

Harry helps get everything else inside while Y/N goes to get a prime parking spot. Harry felt sort of awkward just standing around while she unpacked certain things for the kitchen.

“Jesus, it really is hot in here, I need to go change.” She wipes some sweat from her forehead.

Y/N goes up to her room and opens the two small windows, and turns her fan on to try to get the air to move. She comes down a few minutes later in just a sports bra and a pair of shorts.

“This is sort of awkward, but you help me with my bed? I’m having a tough time getting it up a little higher…”

“Not awkward…at…all.” When he looks at her he sees how little clothing she’s wearing.

“If you get to be shirtless then I get to dress like this.” She says, putting her hands on her hips.

“I didn’t say anything.” He smirks. “Besides, I’m sure we’ll be seein’ each other in a lot less as the year goes on.”

She shakes her head and follows him up. Harry’s able to get the bet up a few pegs so Y/N can slide the small dresser underneath it, creating more floor space.

“That’s perfect! My parents are bringing those plastic pins you can stack as like a makeshift dresser that fits in the closet tomorrow. Hmmm.”

“What?”

“Well, usually my mom helps me make the bed. It’s just so long, it’s hard to get a good grasp on the sheet.”

“I can help if you want.”

“You’ve done enough.”

“It’s fine, I don’t mind.” He smiles. “After this though would you wanna get out for a bit? I feel like it’s cooler outside. We could go downtown for a slice.”

“Oh, I like that idea a lot. Pizza is a must right now.”

Harry helps you get her sheets on her bed, and she tell him she’ll fix the rest later. Y/N knew she wouldn’t need a lot of extra blankets tonight. She throws on a shirt and so does he, and out the door they go. They walk down town the local pizza place, and grab a booth after getting their slices.

“Nice and cool in here, huh?” He says.

“So much better.” She giggles. “Where are your other friends living?”

“They’re over on Russell Street. It’s kinda nice, I’ll have a place to go party, and then have a quiet place to come back to afterwards. Think it all worked out for the best.”

“Can you remind me again what your major is? I know Chris is Sports Management…”

“I’m an Art major…” He says quietly. “And yes, I know it’s going to be hard for me out there once I graduate.”

“Woah, I didn’t say anything.” She puts her hands up in defense. “I think that’s cool actually. What do you do? Paint? Sculpt? Draw?”

“Mix of all three actually. Basically if I can get my hands dirty, I will.” He smirks. “I just wanted to get a degree in something I liked doin’, but I do have a minor in graphic design just in case I need somethin’ to fall back on.”

“Oh, is that how you and Chris met? That’s his minor too.”

“Mhm.” He takes a bite of his pizza. “We had a couple of classes together and got paired on some projects, hit it off right away.”

“That’s great.”

“How did you and Liv meet?”

“We roomed together second semester freshmen year. Our other roommates both dropped out so we got paired randomly. She’s the best, I got really lucky. She was already dating Chris when we met.”

“The three of you seem close.”

“He’s really nice, always included me. They never made me feel like a third wheel which was nice. I mean, I have other friends, don’t get me wrong. I found things to do when they needed their alone time.”

“And you ever find any alone time?”

“That’s an awfully personal question, don’t you think?” She scoffs.

“Thought we were gettin’ to know each other a bit here…sorry.”

“It’s okay…um…I mean, there are guys I’ve been alone with…” Y/N clears her throat. “I use Tinder like every other college student, you know?” He hums his response and finishes up his slice. He leans back and sits with his arm strong across the back of the booth. “What about you?”

“Eh, I like to meet people in person, at like a party or somethin’.” He thinks for a moment, and leans on the table to be a bit closer so no one else around could really hear. “You’re pretty, Y/N, why do you use Tinder?” She blushes. “I mean, surely you could just meet someone out.”

“I…well, I don’t really go to big parties, mostly kickbacks.” He nods and finishes up his bottle of soda.

“You ready?”

“Mhm.”

They both walk back to the apartment, and he keys in. She goes upstairs to keep unpacking and to tidy up. She was trying to hang up some curtains, but she fell back from trying to reach to high. Harry hears the thud and rushes right up. He had a nicer short sleeve shirt on now, and a nicer pair of shorts.

“Are you okay?!”

“Yeah.” You laugh. “Just lost my balance. Do you think you could help me hang these up quick?”

“Sure.”

The curtains get hung and they look great with the twinkling lights Y/N strung up.

“Liv and I love these lights.” She looks at him. “You like nice.”

“Matt’s havin’ a party…do you wanan come?”

“God, with the amount of time I’d need to get ready you’d be late.” You laugh.

“I wasn’t plannin’ to leave for another hour, plenty of time to freshen up.”

“Sure, I could come out for a bit, thanks.”

He leaves her to get ready. She puts her hair up in a cute, messy bun, and touches up some makeup. Y/N finds a cute pair of shirts and a crop top to throw on and down the stairs she goes. Harry was pouring two shots of raspberry vodka into two small glasses.

“Here.” He smiles. “Wait, you drink, right?”

“Yes.” You giggle. “I can’t wait to turn twenty-one. Just a few more months.”

“Same here, February actually.”

“No way! Me too. When’s yours?”

“The first, yours?”

“The fourth.”

“Wow, that’s crazy.” They clink their glasses and off to the party they go.

//

Y/N drank way too much last night, and she knew her parents would be able to tell. They were there bright and early with the rest of her things. They also put Harry to work.

“You have a lot of shit, you know that?” He says, setting another box down.

“I’m well aware.”

Eventually Liv and Chris show up and it’s hugs all around. Y/N and Liv get a minute alone in their room, finally.

“So how was last night with just you and Harry?”

“It was good! We went out for pizza, he helped me a bunch with my things, and he took me to a party. I’m glad we had the time to get to know each other a little bit.”

“Me too. He can be kind of shy from what Chris tells me.”

“Apparently he’s an art major.”

“I wonder if he’ll hang any of his things up.”

“You know, he’s been in our room a ton already, but I didn’t think to go into his.”

“Well, let’s check it out.” They both go down and into the boy’s room.

Both sides were organized, but they could tell whose side was whose. Harry had his art supplies all over his desk, and had boxes of paint and brushes under his bed. He had a couple of things up as well.

“Looks good in here guys.” Liv says.

Y/N and Liv end up going out for lunch with Y/N’s parents, and then they go on a trip to the grocery store to pick up what they think they need.

“Alright honey, I guess we’ll see you at Thanksgiving, if not sooner.” Y/N’s mother says, giving her a hug.

“Please, be careful.” Her dad says.

“I’ll be fine. Let me know when you get back home. Thanks for everything, love you both!” She sighs as she closes the door. “Finally.”

Y/N and Liv go up to their room and continue decorating it to their liking while Harry and Chris get their gaming consoles hooked up to the TV in the living area.

“So…you got to know Y/N a little last night?”

“Yeah, she’s pretty cool so far. I was kinda worried, I didn’t think she liked me every much.”

“She just didn’t know you, that’s all. What did you guys do?”

“I helped her with her things, we grabbed a slice of pizza, and then I took her to Matt’s for a party. I think there were like three different guys that tried to take her home, but she turned them all down.” He shrugs.

“And what did you do?”

“She didn’t have a key yet, so I made sure she got back here, and then I slipped out an hour or so later to hook up with this girl that gave me her number at the party.”

“Well, thanks for getting her back here at least.” Chris chuckles.

“I’m not a fuckin’ asshole.” He nudges him playfully. “She did have fun at the party, I’ll probably bring her out again. You all can come any time. I feel like that place is gonna be my second home.”

Y/N and Live come down with all the things they like to keep in the bathroom and the boys look scared. For a student apartment it was a decent size bathroom, with a good size tub-shower. Liv opens the cabinets under the sink, and you hand her two boxes of pads and tampons.

“Yup, definitely livin’ with women.” Harry smirks and crosses his arms.

“If feminine products are going to bother you-“ Liv starts, but he cuts her off.

“Got a mum and a sister back home, periods don’t scare me. Was just simply makin’ an observation.”

“Good.” She grabs a small trashcan puts a bag in it. Y/N hands her the lid. “Listen to me very carefully, this is just for Y/N and I. There’s another small can for community use, but this is for her and I’s…”

“Say no more.” Chris says. “Just keep it under the sink and we won’t touch it.”

“I also would like some courtesy with shaving.” Y/N says. “I really don’t wanna see pubes around the toilet.” She crosses her arms. “If you make a mess, you clean it up.”

“I feel like the two of you think we’re savages.” Harry laughs. “I’ve been in a girl’s bathroom before, and I have to say, I think girls are way more disgusting.”

“Why were you in a girl’s bathroom?” Liv asks.

“I was asked to join someone in the shower.” Harry says bluntly. “And it didn’t last long because we both walked in and saw a fuckin’ bloody tampon on the floor. So we went to the men’s bathroom and it was spotless. And while we’re on the topic, you both have long hair, so if you don’t wanna see pubes around the toilet, I don’t wanna see hair in the drain.”

“Deal.” Y/N says. “Let’s move on to the kitchen, shall we?” The four walk out to the kitchen area. “If you make a mess in the microwave, you clean it immediately, don’t leave it for someone else.”

“If someone’s name is on something in the fridge, don’t eat it.” Chris says. “However, I would like to see us cooking together. Like if someone makes pasta, someone else could throw in a meat or veggie.”

“That’s a good idea.” Liv says. “If you make a mess in the fridge clean it up. Check expiration dates. Oh! Trash is a big thing. We all need to take turns with that. If you see it getting full, just take it out, don’t leave it for someone else.”

After spending over an hour on a chore chart and going over more house rules, the four feel satisfied.

//

A few weeks into the semester, and Y/N noticed that Harry wasn’t home a lot. He was either down at the art studio, or at his friend’s apartment. She also noticed he didn’t sleep there much on the weekends, but it worked out well for Chris and Liv so they could have the room alone when they needed. Y/N never saw Harry bring a girl home with him, and she was sort of relieved.

Living with two guys wasn’t as awkward as Y/N and Liv thought it might be. Everyone was really chill, and it was nice to cook together. It was like being in a little family.

One morning Harry woke up late for class, but desperately needed to shower. Y/N happened to be in there. Everyone usually showered at the same time, but Harry was in a rush and annoyed. Liv and Chris had already left for class. Harry was standing the hall, just in a towel, waiting for you to finish. When he hears the water turn off, he sighs with relief. When she didn’t come out right away, he groans.

“The fuck is she doin’ in there.” He knocks on the door. “Y/N?! I’m runnin’ late, and I need to shower!”

She opens the door immediately and they both freeze. Her eyes fall to the towel that was hanging low on his waist, and then up to him. Her towel wasn’t exactly as secure as it could be either. Her hair was just brushed out and dripping wet down her chest.

“I’m so sorry, why didn’t you knock sooner? I, uh, just let me grab my blow dryer…” She snatches it and scoots by him.

“I’ll be quick if you need to get back in there…”

“Thanks.”

Harry takes his very quick, and semi-cold shower, and gets ready for class. He had ab out ten minutes to spare. Y/N comes down the stairs, and slips into the bathroom to grab some spare tampons, and bumps into Harry on her way out, causing her to drop them.

“Shit sorry, I’m fuckin’ up your entire routine this mornin’.” He bends down to pick up what he caused her to drop and blushes when he sees that they’re tampons. He grabs them anyways and hands them to her.

“It’s okay, really.” She takes them and sticks them in her bag. “Um…well, have a good day Harry.”

“You too.”

//

“Y/N?” Harry knocks on her bedroom door late one night. She climbs out of bed and goes down the few steps to open it.

“Is everything okay, Harry?”

“Yeah, I think Liv and Chris fell asleep…and I really don’t wanna sleep on the couch, nor do I wanna go in there in case they decide to get busy again.” He huffs. He looked exhausted, he was at the studio all evening and just wanted to sleep.

“Oh! Well…okay, I could sleep in her bed if you wanna sleep in mine?”

He follows her up the stairs.

“I’ll just sleep in hers, we’re all close enough now. She doesn’t really have a leg to stand on to say much about it.” He yawns and takes his shirt off.

“Okay.” He watches as she uses the small step stool to get back into her bed. He waits until she’s scrolling on her phone to take his pants off, and he climbs into Liv’s bed. “I’m gonna turn the light off now.”

“Alright.”

“Goodnight, Harry.”

“Goodnight, Y/N.”

//

Similar nights to those kept happening, and Harry was starting to get aggravated, so he called for a roommate meeting to discuss it.

“I’m sick of not bein’ able to sleep in my own bed. I know I’m not here a lot, but when I am, I’d like to be able to just go to my room and go to sleep.”

“You’re right, Harry. I’m sorry.” Liv says, sort of embarrassed.

“I think you two should just share a room. It’s clear that’s what you want anyways.”

“But what about Y/N?” Liv looks at her.

“I feel like Harry’s been my roommate anyways.” She shrugs. “We share every other room with guys, guess I wouldn’t mind rooming with one either.”

“What if your parents find out?” Chris asks.

“It’s not like we’re gonna push the bed together and sleep next to each other like you both are probably gonna do. He’ll have his side, and I’ll have mine. I think it makes the most sense too.”

That afternoon everyone helps move things around. Liv gets situated with Chris while Harry gets his things the way he likes.

“You know secretly, I’m happy they didn’t ask for the bigger room. It’s way nicer up here.” Harry says, sitting down on his new bed. “You sure you’re okay with this? I don’t wanna take away your privacy…”

“I’ll just change in the bathroom more.” She shrugs. “Or, I mean, just look the other way if I happen to need to change quick up here and I’ll give you the same courtesy.”

“I know I’m not here a lot on the weekends, but for the times I am, I mean, uh, like do you ever bring anyone back here with you? If you could just text me a warning or somethin’ or put somethin’ on the door.”

“I don’t…I haven’t, um, it’s been a dry start to the semester.” She blushes. “I had my period, and then I’ve started to get busy with my classes…I’ve gone out a few times, but there’s also no one I’ve really wanted to hook up with. Don’t worry, if the occasion happens I’ll give you a heads up.”

“Cool.”

“Is that what you’re out doing on the weekends? Hooking up?”

“Sometimes…mostly I just end up sleepin’ at Matt’s. They have a futon for me there for when I get too drunk to walk all the way back here. You should come out to another party, he’s havin’ people over tonight if you wanna come. Let the lovebirds down there have a little privacy.”

“Good idea, yeah, that sounds like fun.” She gets up and goes into her closet to pick out a casual dress. “Is your friend Matt single?” She asks without looking at him.

“Uh, yeah. Why?”

“I don’t know…I think he’s cute, and he was really nice to me last time I was there. Gave me a bunch to drink.”

“Well, that’s just common courtesy when you bring a girl to a party. Get her all liquored up.” Harry smirks.

“Mhm.” She rolls her eyes at him, and grabs a blue dress from her closet and her jean jacket. “Do you think he’d be into me?”

“What’s not to be into?”

“Oh stop it.”

“M’serious! You’re really nice, and you’re cute. He’d go for you.”

“Thanks, Harry.”

//

Harry walks Y/N to the party after pregaming a bit at their place.

“Harry!” Matt says as he walks in. “And you brought Y/N again, hey.”

“Hi.” They smile at each other.

“We’re just setting a game of flip cup up in the kitchen, you guys wanna play?”

“Sure!” Y/N says brightly.

The night was a lot of fun. Harry found himself talking to some girl who was clearly trying to get him to go home with her, but in the pit of his stomach he wanted to make sure you got home okay.

“Let me just find my friend and make sure she’s all set, okay?” He say, leaning into the girl and she nods.

Harry searches for you. Come to think of it, he hadn’t seen Matt in a while either. He walks into the kitchen and stops short when he sees Y/N sitting up on the counter with her legs wrapped around Matt’s waist, and his tongue down her throat. He wants to say something, but he opts to just text her that he’s left with someone.

“She’s all set, let’s go.” He takes the girl by her hand and leads her out of the house.

She tells him where she lives and that her roommate was gone for the weekend so they wouldn’t be disturbed. She was a good shag, Harry was having fun, but just as he coming an image of Y/N’s legs wrapped around his own waist, instead of Matt’s popped into his head.

“Shit.” He groans and looks down at the girl underneath him. She smiles up at him and he smiles back.

He pulls out and throws the condom away. She frowns when he starts to get dressed.

“You don’t have to leave…”

“I know, usually I would spend the night, but…uh…I.” He sighs and looks at her. “Listen, I don’t really have a good excuse, I just wanna go sleep in my own bed, I’m sorry.” He leans in and kisses her forehead. “I had a lot of fun though.” He gives her a reassuring smile. “You have my number?”

“Yeah.”

“Text me anytime.” He winks, and leaves her there.

When Harry gets back to his empty room, he’s not entirely sure what it is about it that’s bothering him. Eventually he’s able to fall asleep, but he’s woken up a few hours later by the sounds of Y/N coming up the few steps to their room. She was carrying her shoes to not make much noise. She gently opens her dresser drawer to grab a large t-shirt and shorts. He looks away while she changes, not that he could really see her anyways with how dark the room was. He hears her get into bed, and the satisfied sigh she makes turns his stomach.

//

The light creeping in from the curtains punched Harry in the face. He sits up and see Y/N on her side facing him, scrolling on her phone. She looks up at him when she sees he’s awake.

“Morning.” She says quietly.

“Hey.” He stretches and gets up. Even though they’d been sharing a room for a while, she would never get used to seeing him in just a pair of boxers. “M’takin’ a shower.”

“Okay.” He stops short before going down the stairs.

“What time did you get home last night?”

“Um…like 3AM I think. I was surprised to see your shoes downstairs. I’m glad I caught them or I would’ve flipped the light on and barreled up here.” She laughs. “I thought you went home with someone.”

“I did.”

“Oh.”

“Didn’t feel like spendin’ the night.” She hums her response. “Did you hook up with Matt?”

“Yeah.” You blush. “Is that okay?”

“Yeah, why the fuck would I care?” He crosses his arms.

“I don’t know…I mean I figured you knew what my intention was since I asked you if he was single, but if you don’t want me hooking up with your friends, I don’t have to again.”

“So if I really had a problem with it, you wouldn’t fuck him again?”

“If you had a valid reason, sure. I mean…it was a nice hook up, but not the best I ever had. It’s not like I need to have his dick again.” Harry had never really hard Y/N talk like that before, it surprised him. “Oh god, don’t tell him I said that…”

“What wasn’t good about it?”

“I…what?”

“Well, if it wasn’t the best you ever had, what wasn’t good about it? Come on, you can tell me?” He leans back against the wall.

“I didn’t get off.” She says bluntly.

“Oh.”

“And I had to fake it so we could be done.” Her cheeks grew redder.

“You sounded pretty satisfied when you got back…”

“I sighed with relief because I was exhausted and was finally in my comfy bed.”

“So you faked it.”

“Mhm.”

“Why not just tell him he was doin’ it wrong.”

“He was so drunk, Harry, I don’t think it would’ve made a difference. He passed out after, and I slipped out the door.”

“Wait, you walked back by yourself?” He frowns.

“Yeah.”

“If that happens again, just call me, okay? I don’t like that.”

“But you were with someone.”

“So? I’m always there for my friends, come on Y/N. What if somethin’ bad happened?”

“Okay, okay, I won’t walk alone again.”

“Good.”

“Go shower so I can shower, will you?”

“We could just save water and shower together.” He jokes, and she whips her pillow at him. “Oi!” He picks it up and whips it back at her, making her laugh.

//

Harry came home with paint all over his hands, and was scrubbing them profusely when Y/N came in through the door.

“Thank god it’s Friday, I’m beat.” You sigh and flop onto the couch.

“Me too, I think I’m gonna stay in tonight.”

“Oh?” She was shocked.

“Mhm.” He sits down next to her. “Might play some video games or somethin’. What about you, do you have plans?”

“As of right now, no. But who knows, my friends my text and say something’s happening.” She shrugs.

“We could hang out if you wanted.”

“What would you wanna do?”

“We could watch a movie.”

“Sure! That sounds nice actually. We should see if Liv and Chris wanna join. I feel like we never all hang out.”

Harry was annoyed, but not visibly. He really hated hanging out with couples.

//

That night the four get cozy on the couch for a movie. Chris made everyone drinks, and Y/N popped some popcorn. The girls sit in the middle of the couch while the boys take the end seats. Not that that mattered, because eventually Chris pulled Liv into his lap, and they got comfortable together. The wine Y/N had been drinking was making her sleepy, and her head dropped onto Harry’s shoulder, not that he minded.

She wakes up to the feeling of being carried up to their room.

“Harry?” He sets her down on her bed.

“Yeh fell asleep.” He smooths her hair away from her face. “Brought yeh up.”

“Do you…never mind.”

“What?”

“I don’t know…it’s stupid, never mind.”

“Y/N, would you just tell me what you want?”

“Well…sometimes I get a little jealous that Chris and Liv can just cuddle, and I didn’t know if you’d wanna have a platonic cuddle with me for a bit.”

“A platonic cuddle?”

“Yeah, but only if you want.”

“What does that entail exactly?”

“Well, you could lay next to me and I could just rest my head on your chest. No spooning unless I’m the big spoon.”

“Why’s that?” He chuckles. “Not that I don’t like being the little spoon.”

“I wouldn’t wanna give you a boner if I was little spoon.”

“Ah, right, because I have zero zelf control.”

“Do you wanna cuddle or not?”

“Yeah, alright.”

He climbs onto her bed and lays flat on his back so she can rest her head on his chest, just like she wanted. He puts an arm around her and rests his hand on her shoulder. What Y/N didn’t know was that Harry had gotten a booty call text, and was supposed to be out the door, but this was something that Harry just couldn’t say no to, so he texts the girl and apologizes, and tells her he’ll be over another time. He feels her nuzzle into his chest further. Harry realizes he very much likes the attention he’s getting from wine-drunk Y/N.

They both asleep like that, cuddled together on Y/N’s bed. Her eyes fluttered open, at first she was confused when she saw Harry, but then she remembered she asked him to cuddle with her. She didn’t remember getting so comfy she had fallen asleep. Both of his arms were around her, and she had a leg over one of his. His lips were parted and light snores were coming from him. Y/N desperately needed to pee, but she also didn’t want to disturb him. She notices his phone lighting up with texts, and her curiosity got the better of her. After all, it could’ve been an emergency.

Lindsay – Matt’s Party: are you serious?   12:04AM

Lindsay – Matt’s Party: you’re rly not coming over? 12:07AM

Lindsay – Matt’s Party: this is the 3rd time you’ve done this, H. I’m done. 12:15AM

Y/N sets his phone back down, and looks back up at him with a raised eyebrow.

He blew off some girl for me? She thinks to herself. He could’ve gone…maybe he didn’t really like her that much.

Harry’s eyebrows furrow and his eyes slowly open. He has the same slight confusion Y/N did, but then he relaxes when he remembers he voluntarily slept next to her.

“Hey.” He mumbles in a sleepy voice, one she had gotten quite used to and liked a lot.

“Hi.” The air suddenly felt awkward. “I need to pee.”

“Okay.”

“I didn’t wanna wake you up.”

“Okay.”

“So, I’ll just…”

She sits up slightly, and ends up straddling him to try to climb over him. Her head suddenly started hurting and she almost fell off. Harry grabs her by her hips to steady her.

“You’re like really clumsy.” He says to her.

“I’m aware.” She looks down at his hands. “I still need to pee, can you let go of me.”

His cheeks heat up and he lets go of her so she can continue trying to get off her bed. Harry was still tired, and he could easily go slip into his bed, but he liked Y/N’s bed, for whatever reason. So he rolls onto his side and checks his phone.

“Fuck.” He says when he sees the texts from Lindsay. He thinks to text her back and apologize, but he didn’t want to lead her on anymore because odds are he’d stand her up again. ]

Y/N comes back up a few minutes later, feeling much better after having used the toilet and brushed her teeth. She chuckles when she sees Harry still on her bed.

“What are you doing?”

“M’not awake enough to move yet.” He mumbles as she grabs some clothes from her dresser.

“Well, I have some homework I need to get done, so I’m gonna shower and then go to the library.”

“I’ll be at the studio most of the day, and then I’ll probably go to Matt’s tonight…”

“Okay.”

He watches her go back down the stairs and he sits up. The two had gotten into the habit of giving each other a play by play of their plans. Harry figured it was just common courtesy as a roommate, but maybe it was a little bit more. It was like they were an old married couple who slept on two different beds. Harry changes into some new clothes quick and goes downstairs. Chris was eating some breakfast as he grabs a Gatorade from the fridge.

“Mornin’, mate.” Harry says, taking a sip of his drink.

“Morning, thought you went out last night?”

“Nope, I stayed in with Y/N instead.” He shrugs. “I feel kinda bad, the girl was pissed…but I think it was for the best.”

//

Things were a tad awkward between Harry and Matt since Y/N slept with Matt and never really followed up.

“Did she ever say anything to you?”

“No.” Harry lies. “You hook up with girls all the time, why are you hung up on her?”

“I don’t know, she was a good fuck, I’d like to hit it again.” Harry rolls his eyes as bites down on his cup. “You haven’t brought her here since.”

“She hasn’t seemed interested.” Harry shrugs and turns to see Lindsay talking to her friends. They make eye contact and she flips him off. “Jesus.” He walks over to her. “Can we talk?”

“Why? Because you suddenly have the time?” She huffs.

“Please?”

“Fine.” They step aside from her friends.

“You know, you act like I didn’t even tell you I couldn’t come over…”

“One second you’re saying see you ten, and the next you’re saying not tonight. So what happened? Get a better offer?”

Yes.

“No, it wasn’t that…my roommate needed me…”

“Right, the girl you conveniently share a room with.” She crosses her arms.

“It’s only like that because our friends are dating.”

“What did she need from you then, Harry? Your dick?”

“No!” He groans. “It’s not like that with us, we’re just friends.”

“So then what did she need?”

“She got a little wine drunk, and she seemed like she needed me to stay, so I did. She didn’t know I had other plans when she asked me to hang out a little longer…” Not a total lie, not a total truth. “I really did wanna see you.” He puts his hand on her shoulder.

“I hate how crazy you boys make me, I swear. It’s not like you’re the only person I’m hooking up with…”

“Yeah, same goes for me.”

“I just thought we had a regular thing going, and that was like the third time you blew me off. If you don’t wanna-“ Harry cuts her off by kissing her.

“Let’s get outta here.”

She nods and takes his hand. They walk back to her place, and start to get busy. He was just about to go down on her when his phone rings. He pops his head up to grab it.

“You can’t be serious.”

“It could be an emergency.” He sits up and squints to see it’s Y/N. “Hello?” He starts fingering Lindsay while he’s on the phone with her.

“Harry?” She slurs.

“What’s up?” He rubs Lindsay’s clit and her head rolls back into the pillow.

“I’m sorry to bother you, but.” She hiccups. “Liv and Chris left, or maybe I just can’t find them, anyways, I wanna go home, and you told me to-“

“Where are you?”

“On Russell actually…uhhhhh, 19D I think.”

“Okay, I can be there in like ten minutes, can you hang tight?”

“Mhm. I’ll sit out on the steps for you.”

“Okay.” He hangs up and tosses his phone. “What?”

“You’re a nutbag.”

“Do you want me to fuck you or not? Yeh get me for ten minutes, how do you want it?”

//

Y/N was sitting on the front steps of the house she was at, waiting for Harry. She was slightly cold from the crisp fall air.

Harry: be there soon :) 1:30AM

She sighs with relief when she gets his text. She sees him walking up the drive and stands up and walks towards him.

“I’m so sorry if I ruined your night.” She stumbles as she walks over to him.

“You didn’t, I’m glad you called.” He hooks his arm around her waist to steady her.

“You smell like perfume.”

“I just hooked with someone, sorry.”

“You what?!” She starts laughing.

“I was in the middle of it when you called, actually.” He starts laughing. “She wasn’t too happy, but I made up for it. Although I deleted her number after I left, it was sort of a parting gift.”

“Sometimes I forget you can be just like every other guy.” She scoffs.

“Hey, I told her it was the last time before I left. She said it was probably for the best anyways.”

“Oh, well as long as she knows.”

“I thought you didn’t really go to parties like this often.”

“I don’t…but Chris got invited out so he brought me and Liv with him, and we all drank a lot. I don’t know how I lost them. I texted them both and told them you were coming for me.” She looks down at the heels on her feet. “I have to take these off, they hurt.”

“It’s too cold to walk barefoot. Lemme give you a piggyback ride.”

“Really?!”

“Sure.” He shrugs.

Y/N gets on his back, and he carries her the rest of the way home. When he gets her inside they see Chris and Liv on the couch.

“There you two are?!” Y/N yells as Harry sets her down. “Where the fuck did you two go?”

“Liv got sick at the party, so I brought her home, we’re so sorry Y/N.” Chris says standing up.

“Yeah, Y/N…this is the first time in over an hour I haven’t had my head in the toilet. Chris cleaned it up so it’s all good.”

“Well I’m sorry you got sick.” She starts unbuttoning her pants and scurries to the bathroom. “I have to pee so bad!”

“Thanks for getting her.” Chris rubs the back of his neck.

“It was no problem. I told her I didn’t want her walkin’ alone and to call me if she was in a place where that might happen.”

Y/N comes out of the bathroom and looks at everyone.

“Feel like I’m gonna pass out so I’m going to bed.”

“I’m gonna take a quick shower, I’ll be up soon.”

“Okay.”

“You two sound like us.” Liv jokes.

“M’just bein’ courteous.” Harry points out and goes to take his shower. He didn’t wanna smell like Lindsay anymore.

When he gets upstairs, only in his towel, he see Y/N sitting up in bed wearing just a large t-shirt and panties. Harry walks by her quick and hope to god his face isn’t red.

“Harry?”

“Yeah?” He turns to look at her.

“Would you come cuddle again?”

“Course. Now turn around so I can change.”

She playfully covers her eyes and he shakes his head as slides his boxers on.

“This is all I’m wearin’, hope that’s okay.”

“S’fine with me.” She yawns, and he turns off the light.

“Scootch over.” Instead she just rolls onto her side, facing the wall. “Thought you said no spooning.”

“Thought you said you had self-control.”

“I do…” He looks down and sees the t-shirt was now bunched around her hips and he could see the lovely curve of her ass in her cheeky panties. “Just don’t wiggle against me like a brat.”

“I’m never a brat.”

“Mhm.” He mumbles sarcastically as he settles in. He slips a leg between hers, and wraps an arm around her stomach. She adjust against him, just to get comfier, and they both settle.

“Goodnight, Harry.” She yawns.

“Night.” He liked the smell of her perfume much better.

//

“What the hell happened up here?” Liv cackles the next morning, well, more like afternoon, it was already noon. Harry and Y/N wake up and groan. Harry was still spooning her.

“Liv…no offense, but this isn’t your room anymore.” Y/N groans as she rubs the sleep from her eyes.

“I just came up to grab my sweatshirt that I let you borrow a couple days ago, but I can see I walked in on something. How long has this been going on for?”

“How long has what been goin’ on for? We’re just sleepin’.”

“Harry you don’t have any clothes on!”

“Not true! I’m wearin’ boxers.”

“What’s wrong with your bed?”

“I asked him to sleep with me, just sleep, well cuddle really.” Y/N speaks up. “It’s platonic.”

“Yeah, not all of us have a boyfriend to go to sleep with every night, Liv.”

“Well, pardon me.” She scoffs and grabs her sweatshirt. “You know it wouldn’t be a big deal if you two hooked up. I think it would make sense, and-“

“Goodbye, Liv, have a nice lunch with Chris’ parents.” Y/N says. “Hope you’re feeling better.”

“Much…and I’ll tell them you say hi.”

“Thanks.”

They watch as she goes back down the stairs, and then look at each other.

“Wanna grab brunch downtown?” Harry asks.

“God, that sounds amazing. Just let me jump in the shower quick?”

“Go for it.”

Harry waits for her to leave before getting out of bed. He removes the blanket and looks down at his morning wood. He was sort of glad Liv woke them up so Y/N didn’t have time to notice it poking her. Or maybe she did and just didn’t say anything or care. Either way he wasn’t going to say anything.

He gets dressed quick and waits for her in the living area. Once she’s ready they walk downtown to the diner, and get a booth for two. They both order coffee and water.  

“Wanna split some hashbrowns?” She asks, looking at the menu. “I might get a veggie omelet.”

“Yeah, we could do that. That sounds good too, I think I’ll get the same.” He chuckles.

They both give their orders to the waitress.

“I hope Liv didn’t bother you, you can sleep in my bed any time you want. I kinda like having your wait on me.” She blushes.

“You mean your three weighted blankets aren’t enough for you?” He laughs.

“I do not have three…I have two, and no, they’re not.” She crosses her arms. “I don’t really think it’s that weird.”

“It’s only happened twice too…” He takes a sip of his coffee. “Your bed is way comfier than mine, so I think I’ll be taking you up on that more often than not.”

“Works for me.” She smiles. “I’m really glad we’ve gotten so close, Harry.” She puts her hand over his and it gives him goosebumps. “You’re like my best guy friend.” A punch right to his gut.

“I’m glad we’ve gotten closer too.”

//

It didn’t happen every night, but Harry and Y/N had gotten into a habit of cuddling and falling asleep together pretty often. There was just something soothing about it for the both of them.

“What the fuck happened up here?” Harry says coming home late from the studio one Thursday night.

“I’m so sorry, I have like two midterms tomorrow and I’m trying to study for both of them and I’m freaking out!”

Y/N had papers and books all over the place. Her laptop was open and she had music playing.

“How long have you been studying for?”

“Hours.” She groans.

“Well, maybe you need a break.”

“I can’t take a break! What if I don’t…what are you doing?!”

He was in the middle of taking his clothes off.

“Hi, I’m Harry, and I tend to get paint all over me, so it required me to change quite frequently. What’s your name?”

“Your sarcasm isn’t helpful. You’re supposed to tell me to turn around.” She pouts.

“Y/N.” He sighs. “You’ve seen me in next to nothing, and to be honest, I don’t really care if you look.”

“You don’t?”

“No.” He throws on a fresh shirt and some sweatpants. He sits down on the floor in front of her. “Look all you want.” He shrugs and picks up her flashcards.

“What are you doing?”

“M’gonna help you study.”

“You don’t have to. I’m sure there are better things you could be doing with your Thursday night.”

“Like what?”

“I don’t know, don’t you have some girl you need to go fuck?” Harry’s jaw drops. “I’m so sorry, that sounded meaner than it was supposed to. I didn’t mean-“

“But you still said it.” He shakes his head at her. “Is that what you think of me? Some guy that just fucks a ton of girls.”

“Well, to be fair, you do fuck a lot of girls, Harry.”

“A lot of guys do.” He huffs, and then he smirks at you. “You know what your problem is?”

“What’s my problem?”

“You don’t get fucked enough, no scratch that, you don’t get off enough. That’s why you’re so stressed. You get A’s all the time, you know this shit. You’re just tense because you can’t get there, and you share a room with a dude so it’s not like you’re gettin’ yourself there, unless you’re doin’ it in the shower.”

“Would you listen to yourself?” She laughs. “Can you please quiz me?”

“Thought I had better things to do?” He grins.

“Harry.” She sighs.

“Okay, okay.” He squints at the flashcard. “What is Andre Bazin’s main film theory?”

“Realism.”

“Correct, see, you know this.”

“That’s an easy one!”

“I still think you’re just wound up.”

“Would you like to do something about it?” She scoffs.

“I would, actually.” He puts the cards down.

“What? I was kidding, Harry.”

“Well…I’m not.” He sighs.

“You…wait, I’m very confused.”

“To be blunt, I’d like to have sex with you.” Her eyes grow wide and her cheeks flush. “But…I don’t wanna do anything that might ruin-“

“Go down and lock our door.” He’s stunned.

“Wait, really?”

“Do it before I change my mind.” She whispers.

Harry stands up and quietly goes down to lock their door. When he comes back up he sees Y/N bent over cleaning everything up off the floor. She puts everything on her desk, and turns her twinkling lights on. Then she turns the main light off, creating more of an atmosphere.

“You really wanna do this?” Harry asks.

“You’re like the hottest guy I’ve ever met, of course I want to…I just didn’t think you wanted to. You treat me like your little sister or something sometimes.”

“I…wouldn’t call the way we sleep the way I would sleep next to my sister.”

“You really do like grind right into me.”

“So you have noticed that.”

“Of course I have…I just figured it was something all guys did in the morning so I never said anything.”

“You’re on the pill?” He asks, stepping closing to her.

“Yes.”

“Do you want me to use a condom?”

“Yes.”

He nods and goes into his desk drawer to grab a couple, he sets them down.

“Let’s do it on my bed, it’ll make less noise, yours will rock too much since it’s up higher.” She nods and goes over to his bed and sits down. He sits down next to her. “You’re positive?”

“Yes.”

He caresses her cheek.

“You’re shaking.” He says softly.

“I’m nervous.”

“Why? S’just me.”

“That’s exactly why I’m nervous. You’ve always made me nervous, Harry. I’ve just been good at hiding it.”

“Why didn’t you ever tell me?”

“Because we have a really good, chill thing going here. And I like being your friend.”

“This doesn’t have to ruin anything…” He cups both of her cheeks with his hands. “Let me make you feel good, Y/N.”

“Okay.”

He pulls her in and crashes her lips to his. Her eyes flutter closed as he swipes his tongue across her bottom lip, and she opens up for him. He tasted just like the mint gum he chewed constantly. She was making out with the guy every girl wanted. Y/N knew about Harry’s reputation, but she also knew a different side of him. She knew the side of him that liked his head scratched to help him fall asleep, and the way he really did just want a banana and nothing more for breakfast, and the way his hands always smelled like paint no matter how many times he scrubbed them.

He pulls back from her to get some air, or so she things, but his lips connect with her jaw and then to just under her earlobe. She gasps when she feels him suck on her skin, but she loves it. She wasn’t sure what to do with herself, so she just grips at his shoulders, while his hands roam down to her hips.

In a swift motion, he sits back on the bed, and pulls her onto his lap so she’s straddling him. She rolls her hips down on his while they’re lips find each other again. He groans against her bites down on her bottom lip. He hands tug at the hem of her shirt.

“Can I take this off?” He says, panting.

“Yes.”

He lifts it up over her head, revealing a sports bra that was really pushing her boobs up. He pulls her close and kisses on the tops of her breasts while she continues to grind down on him. She was starting to feel how hard he was and it was making her wet.

“Just take it off.” She says.

He nods and lifts the bra off her. He moves to take his own shirt off as well before cupping her breasts in his large hands. He tweaks her nipples, making her head roll back.

“I’ve wanted to see you like this for a long time, Y/N.” He says as he wraps his lips around her, sucking one of her breasts into his mouth, and letting it go with a pop.

“You have?” She gasps as he does the same thing to other one.

“You have no idea.”

He pulls her close so they’re chests are flush and they go back to kissing. His hands slide down to the globes of her ass and he gives her a good squeeze. He shifts them to lay her down, and she wraps her legs around his waist, just like how he’s wanted for a while. He kisses down her neck, chest, stomach, and then hooks his fingers into her leggings.

“You’re sure?”

“Please, just get them off. Get my underwear off, just take everything off of me.”

He smirks and does everything she says. She was full exposed to him and it was a glorious sight to see. Every curve, every dip, every mark on her was beautiful. He kisses her left knee and works his way to her inner thigh. He looks up at her one more time and he gives him an approving nod. She grips the blankets when she feels his tongue on her. Her hips buck up towards him, but he uses his arm to press down on her waist. He gives her a few slow licks at first, and then flicks his tongue back and forth on her clit. She moans softly, and then grits her teeth when he sucks on her. Her hands fly to his hair when she feels a finger slip inside. He looks up at her again and she just nods yes.

His mouth works her clit while he pumps in and out of her, knuckles deep, curling his fingers up. She gasps and groans, desperately trying to stay quiet so Liv and Chris don’t hear anything. Y/N’s legs were shaking around Harry, and he loved it. Her back was arching, he could tell she was close from the way she clenching around his fingers.

“Oh, shit!” She gasps and claps a hand over her mouth.

Harry waits for her to finish riding for him to pull his fingers out. She watches as he sucks them into his mouth, and hers falls open. She blinks tears away.

“Are you crying?” He runs a thumb under one of her eyes.

“I just…um…that was intense is all.”

“Do you wanna keep going?”

“Yes.” She props herself up on her elbows. “Do you want me to, uh, return the favor?”

“Maybe another time.” He stands up and pulls his joggers down. “I really just wanna fuck you, if that’s alright.”

“Mhm.” She smiles. Wow, we haven’t even finished yet and he’s already talking about another time. She thinks to herself.

She watches as Harry slowly takes his boxers off. Her eyes grow wide when she see it. It was big, and thick. Suddenly her mouth felt dry. He grabs a condom from his desk and rolls it on with ease. He gets back on the bed, between her legs.

“Y/N?”

“Yeah?”

“You’re certain?”

“Yes, Harry, I want you.”

He smiles and kisses her quick. He looks down so he can line himself up with her dripping center. He slowly presses his tip in, and she can already feel him stretching her out. He accidentally slides in a little fast, though.

“Holy shit!” She moans loudly, and he presses his hand over her mouth. Her eyes were wild looking up at him.

“I know, okay, I know, but if you wanna do this you need to stay fucking quiet. I don’t want them to hear. Can you do that f’me, Y/N?” She nods her head yes, and he takes his hand away. “I didn’t mean to just shove it in like that, m’sorry.”

“S’okay, it felt good.” She giggles. He looks down between them.

“S’really snug…you’re so tight.” His words make her clench around him. “Can I move?”

“Please.”

Harry pulls out slightly and thrusts back in, and eventually he found a pace that suited the both of them. He buries his head in the crook of her neck, and hooks his arm under one of her legs, while her other leg was wrapped around his waist. Her nails were digging into his back, and it all just felt so fucking good. Her face was hidden in her shoulder to keep her moans and cries muffled.

“Takin’ it so well, Y/N.” He peppers kisses to her sweaty forehead. He drops her leg and uses both of his arms to prop himself up so he could really give it to her. The bed was shaking, but it wasn’t making much noise. “How’s it feel?”

“So good, so fucking good.”

“Yeah? Like havin’ me in you like this?”

“Yes!” She gasps as he hits her g-spot. “Oh my god.” She says shocked and then looks up at him. “Do…do that again.” He gives her another thrust right on the spot and her eyes roll into the back of her head.

“You’ve never come vaginally before, have you?” He grins.

“No.”

“Oh, baby…hold on tight.”

She grips his shoulders while he hits the spot over and over. Her teeth were clenched, trying so very hard not to make much noise, but when he hits it just right again, she lets go and cries out. Harry crashes his mouth to hers to swallow it best he can. She was writhing beneath him, having never had orgasm so strong before. Harry can’t last much longer after that, and spills into the condom. He collapses on top of her for a moment or two, just trying to catch his breath. He slowly pulls out of her and she winces.

“Sorry.” He whispers. “You…might be a little sore.”

“A little?” She scoffs. “I can’t believe you fit that whole thing inside of me.” She sits up and grabs her shirt. When she stands her legs feel like jello.

“Where are you goin’?”

“I have to pee, you went down on me, I’m not gonna risk getting a UTI. Just get into my bed, I’ll be back in a second.” He smiles and nods. He was happy she wanted to cuddle.

It stung when she went to the bathroom like she figured it would. She was thankful Liv and Chris didn’t seem to be awake. She fills a glass of water and brings it up with her. She takes a sip and hands it to Harry as she climbs into bed. He takes generous sip and hands it back to her to finish. He puts it on her desk when she’s done. They both sink down and she lays her head on his chest.

“How do you feel?” He asks, breaking the silence.

“Good, how do you feel?”

“Good…didn’t realize there was that much tension between us.” He chuckles.

“Harry, I don’t wanna be one of those girls, but what’s supposed to happen next…”

“We’re gonna cuddle and go to sleep like we usually do. Then tomorrow you’re gonna ace your midterms.”

“And after that?” She looks up at him, and he looks down at her.

“I think I only wanna be a one woman kinda guy…” She smiles up at him. “Would you wanna try going out on a date?”

“There’s a free skate happening down at the ice arena on Saturday night…any interest?”

“No interest in doin’ anything tomorrow?”

“Someone’s a bit eager.” She smirks.

“Alright, ice skating actually sounds good for Saturday. I have a couple of midterms tomorrow too that are gonna take a lot outa me.”

“How about pizza and a movie tomorrow night then?”

“Oh, I like the sound of that.” He kisses her hair line. “What should we do about Chris and Liv?”

“Let’s see how a couple of dates go before we tell them anything.”

“Good idea, although, I’m sure they probably heard you.”

“I wasn’t that loud, and it wasn’t my fault if I was.” She swats at his chest.

“True.” He looks over at his bed. “This could work really well. Use my bed for the fucking, and then we have your nice comfy bed for sleepin’.”

“Yeah, and then there’s no gross wet spot to worry about.” She giggles, and he bursts out laughing.

“I didn’t hurt you or anything did?”

“No, not at all. It felt really good the whole time, I promise. It hurt when I went to the bathroom though.”

“M’sorry.” He sighs. “You were so tight, I didn’t really know how to be any gentler than I was.”

“It’s okay, really. You took really good care of me. I feel way more relaxed now. I think you were right about me just needing to de-stress before my exams.”

//

The two end up falling asleep, and it’s a miracle Y/N hears her alarm go off the next morning. Harry knew Chris and Liv would be gone already since they both have 8AM’s, so he gets up with Y/N to take a shower. They didn’t do anything sexual, but it certainly was an intimate shower. She thought about him all day, everything from last night replaying over and over in her mind. It was a wonder she could concentrate during her exams.

She orders the pizza when she gets in later and sets up the movie. She bumps into Liv after freshening up upstairs.

“Hey, haven’t see you all day. How’d your midterms go?” Liv asks, about to take a slice of pizza.

“That’s not for you!” Y/N yelps. “And they went fine, Harry, uh, helped me study last night.”

“Oh, good! And who’s it for?”

“It’s, um, for Harry, as a thank you for him staying in to help me last night.”

“Um, okay?”

“Sorry…in fact, I’m gonna go put it on his bed so no one touches it. What are you and Chris doing tonight?”

“We were gonna go to Charlotte’s place. Do you wanna come?”

“Nah, I’m exhausted, I’m gonna stay in, but thanks.”

Y/N: I’m bringing the pizza up to our room, I think we should watch the movie up here too…

Harry: are chris and liv home??

Y/N: for now, but I think they’re going out. I just don’t want them snooping

Harry: good call…I’ll be home soon btw, just finished one of my graphic design exams

Y/N: Yay!

Harry gets in, and goes right upstairs. He locks the door behind him. Y/N was sitting on his bed with her laptop and the box of pizza.

“Hey.” You smile.

“Hi.” He smiles back. “That still warm?”

“Mhm.”

“Think it’ll stay that way?” He asks, taking his shirt off.

“I guess we’ll find out.” She sets it on his desk, along with her laptop.

“Been thinkin’ about you all day.” He says, leaning down to kiss her. She lays back on the bed so he can get on top of her.

“Really?” He hums his response as he kisses on her neck. “I thought about you too.” He yanks her shirt up over her breasts and kisses on them. “Harry, I really wanna do this again, but I’m…too sore…” She sighs and he sits up. “But…maybe now I could return the favor.”

“Yeh wanna suck me off, baby?”

“Mhm.”

After one hell of a blowjob, Harry and Y/N cuddle up and crack open the pizza that was waiting to be eaten, and they start their movie.

“How do you think your exams went?” He asks.

“Good, I think I did really well. What about yours?”

“Piece of cake.” He scoffs. “Graphic design is so easy, I don’t know why Chris complains about it all the time.”

“He’s just not as creative as you are. I wish you’d hang more of your paintings up…”

“Really? I have some down at the studio I could bring home.”

“Please! I’d love it, and I’m not just saying that, I think you’re genuinely talented.”

“Thanks.” He kisses her temple.

“I have to say, I was nervous having a guy I barley know as a roommate this year, but it’s worked out way better than I ever could’ve imagined.” They both giggle.

“Mm, I’m sure your parents will be thrilled when they found out their fears came true.”

“God, I can’t even think about that.” She takes a bite of pizza. “I was gonna ask you to come home for Thanksgiving before all this happened, but now maybe that wouldn’t be such a great idea.”

“You were?” He gives her a thoughtful smile.

“Yeah…I didn’t know what you normally did.”

“I usually stay here and eat shitty food at the dining hall. I’d come home with you.”

“You would?”

“Sure.” He shrugs. “We’re tryin’ somethin’ new between us, but at the core we’re still friends right?”

“Yeah.”

“So then I’d love to come home with you for Thanksgiving either way, and I think it’s very nice of you to think of me.” He takes a bite of pizza. “Plus, then I can see if your family likes me at all.”

“Good point.” She puts the pizza box on the desk and nestles in closer to him. She looks up at him and puckers her lips. He happily gives her a kiss. “I like you, Harry.”

“I like you too.”

[kleptosuperstar]

hiii so uhh i really don't think anyone will see this because...i literally have one follower but im kinda making this for myself because me and my cousin are going to the mall and a few stores around the city in a few days SPECIFICALLY to lift and I made a list of things that we both want PLUS some tips for these stores seeing as I DO lift from most of them a lot sooo..yeah

SPENCERS: a moderately easy store seeing as there are TONS of blind spots and LP isn't employed. To top it off, cameras are never monitored, however they are low-hanging and somewhat high quality. Usually only 2-5 employees but the store is almost always crowded so if you find a blind spot it's a free for all. They wont chase but might call mall security.

What we want:

h20 piercing cleaner x2

toy cleaner

jojoba oil

hemp oil

septum and nose jewelery (we will actually have to purchase this, seeing as if you steal the jewelery they hand to you they WILL know you stole no matter what. Plus the packaging is riddled with RFID tags)

HOT TOPIC: Not that many blind spots, but employees usually don't care and rarely count clothing articles, which may have a tag or two, so check for those. Cameras are never monitored and the stores usually have a large layout so just watch out for customers and employees, find a blind spot and throw a bunch of shit into your bag They don't chase! :D.

What we want:

distressed thigh highs

over the knee thigh highs with bow

black fishnet lace thigh highs

black and white stripe arm warmers

black fishnet fingerless gloves

black floral tights

CLAIRE'S: whew lawd. I really really want to be helpful on this one but Claire's is a laughably easy place to lift from. No cameras, usually only 1 or 2 employees and if one is giving a piercing it's a free-for-all. THEY HAVE MIRRORS SO AVOID THOSE. My favorite blind spot there is behind the register if there is no one there, and that's all I have to say there.

What I want: (she doesn't want anything from Claire's apparently🙄)

Headphones

A tiara

Nail polish

VICTORIA'S SECRET: first of all lol, i feel ZERO shame in lifting from them. Please note that they do have cameras, and their SAs are trained to look out for shoplifters, however most of them are just confused college girls lol. Panties are NOT tagged. What I like to do is take a medium sized empty makeup bag and put it in my purse, and once I arrive to VS i put the makeup bag in the tote, I also drop my phone into the tote. I go around the store, picking out panties that are my size and i drop them so they can fall directly into the makeup bag. I do this with as many as I can fit into the bag and I do this with small makeup items as well. Once I'm done, I reach into the bag as if I'm looking for my phone (which i dropped in earlier) and that's the moment when i zip up the zipper of the makeup bag and pull out my phone immediately after and pretend to check the time and say something like "Damn, I gotta go. I'm late." Or something like that. Put the makeup bag in your purse and play around on your phone as you exit the store. And that's really it :) I rarely lift bras from there anymore so I can't REALLY help you there.

What I want:

a bunch of panties and some lip gloss!

BARNE'S AND NOBLES: I've never lifted from this place but I know friends who have. I'll give you the tips they gave me. There are cameras, and they are being monitored, but there are PLENTY of blind spots seeing as it is a very large store. The kid's section has no cameras tho, so if you're like me and look younger than you are, this could be for your advantage. No one expects you to steal when you're vibing in the kid's section. Most books have RFID tags, and hardcover books sometime have books engraved in the cover, so watch out for those. Most manga, some magazines, and just overall 99% of the books are tagged. Get what you want, flip through them and look for RFID tags while pretending to "read". If an employee sees you sitting down "reading" they won't suspect you unless they actually see you ripping out the tags. The worst that could happen is that they could ask you to move out of the book aisle so other customers can come through, if that happens, simply find another blind spot. Slip them into your bags like they're yours as SOON as you know they're rid of RFID tags. They won't chase, but probably will try to get you back into the store and if that doesn't work they'll try to get a license plate number or give your description to the police, neither usually goes anywhere tbh.

What we want:

fire force volume 1

fire force volume 2

fire force volume 3

fire force volume 4

Akame Ga Kill

Soul eater

Black lagoon

Kakegurui vol. 1

The seven deadly sins volume 1

Spy x family 1

Spy x family 2

Spy x family 3

Black butler vol. 1

Black butler vol. 2

Black butler vol. 3

Black butler vol. 4

Wotakoi vol. 1

Wotakoi vol. 2

Gangsta

Dictionary of witchcraft

The anatomy of the occult

Charms, spells, and formula

Moon spells

Gothic beauty magazine number 19

Nocturnal witchcraft

Necronomicon

The good witch's daily spellbook

A big book of practical spells

Any book on astrology

Gothic grimoire

Shingeki no Kyonin

Ulta: The second store I've ever lifted from. This store is easy, but not laughably. I feel like this would be a starter for babylifters. This store has mild LP, so watch out for those and NEVER EVER EVER conceal in front of customers, you should never do this in general but especially NOT in an Ulta. Get to your blindspot and make sure to detag depending on what you plan on lifting. Those mfs at Ulta tag like crazy. Put everything in your bag and remember to NEVER get too greedy at this store. They have a STRICT, VERY VERY STRICT no chase policy.

What we want:

better than sex mascara

lipstick

eyeshadow

makeup brushes

black liquid and stick liner

pink liquid liner (if they have it)

bronzer

brown eyeliner

eyeliner pencil

maracuja oil

any colorful eyeshadow pallate lol

WALMART: My walmart is so easy it hurts. Maybe about 5 cameras throughout the whole store to my knowledge, so the whole thing is basically a blind spot. The makeup aisle is heavily monitored tho so whenever I'm over there I make an effort to never look up to those cameras. Grab whatever you want/need and AVOID EMPLOYEES!!! they're everywhere. As well as customers. They are the two most annoying problems I've ever had lifting from a Walmart. I've noticed that aisles where you get things such as building materials are the most empty with no cameras. People usually only go to walmart because the food is cheap, so there are a lot of families who are usually only at one side of the store. Its rare that people ever need materials like those so seek out aisles like that to use as a blind spot. Wal-Mart doesn't seem to tag that many things, but ALWAYS check no matter what store you're at. If you're lifting something on the expensive side, just check for that.

What I want:

kinder buenos x2

sugar free monster energy

paint

paintbrushes

black lace

blue eyeliner

blush

nail polish

socks

THE DOLLAR TREE:

Pretty easy store tbh. The cameras are fake, and if they aren't they're never being monitored. I don't know about ALL layouts but mine has SO many blindspots it's crazy. If you're just looking for a snack, some makeup, or maybe a meal ? (Yes, you can get a whole meal if you lift enough stuff) then the dollar tree would be your place of interest. There are almost no employees walking around the store. There are usually only 2, and they switch between working at the registers and cleaning out the front of the store or whatever. Honestly this store is so easy just stuff shit in your bag lol. Even if you get caught they won't chase or call the police. Their stock is WAYY too cheap for that. I go there to steal candy or makeup brushes which is usually not worth paying for anyways so this is a beginner store. Knock yourself out ;)

What I want:

literally anything i see there that i want😭

welllll if you actually made it this far, thank you so much! I hope this helped someone and I hope one day I can make a master list of stores myself instead of just picking selective ones but this was all i was able to do :( i really REALLY hope this helped someone lmao just remember

✨ if its chain, its free reign✨

[avengerscompound]

Moving On - Chapter 3

Moving On: A Falcon & Captain Marvel Fanfic

Masterlist PREVIOUS //

Buy me a ☕ Character Pairing:  Sam Wilson x F!Reader, Carol Danvers x F! Reader

Word Count:  2003

Rating:  E

Warnings:  just a little canon complaint drama this chapter

Synopsis:  You thought Sam Wilson was the love of your life.  You had planned to do it all with him - marriage, kids, see the world.  Even when you’re life gets turned upside down, and you both end up international fugitives, he’s there by your side.

Then Thanos comes.

When Sam is one of the many turned to dust, leaving you alone and pregnant, you don’t think you’ll ever stop grieving.  Yet, everyone tells you that Sam would want you to move on and live your life - that he’d want you to be happy. Gradually you open your heart up to another.  Carol Danvers has lost people too.  First her daughter, then her wife.  As the two of you lean on each other, feelings grow and you move on together.

So what happens when Sam is returned to you?

Chapter 3: The Accords

When Sam had left on his mission to Lagos, you had been worried but not in a major way.  You had thought maybe he might come home bruised up or with a cracked rib.  The last thing you had expected was for a lapse in attention would allow Rumlow to detonate a block leveling amount of C-4, and that when Wanda had tried to contain it and it had taken out a floor of a building instead, she’d get the blame.

Still, while that was bad, it wasn’t something that you had thought would directly affect you.  It might mean there was some argument with governments about Wanda being in the custody of the Avengers and how training should be done to prevent things like that from happening again.  You were fairly sure the insurance policy the Avengers held for such things was going to be hit hard.  But for you and Sam - life and love and wedding plans wouldn’t have been affected.

And then Tony Stark had shown up with General Thaddeus Ross.

Ross had dropped a bomb into the compound and run.  Not a literal bomb, but one that had the potential to be just as damaging.  The Sokovia accords had been dropped off - a document stating that any enhanced individual would have to register themselves with their country's government and the UN and provide them with biometrics as a way to keep tabs on them.  Along with that, anyone working for facilities such as SHIELD, SWORD, or the Avengers as operatives, and any of these enhanced individuals were unable to act on matters of security without the go-ahead from their countries government or the UN.

While that didn’t change too much for you, according to the document, Sam’s wings counted as enhancements.  Steve Rogers and Wanda Maximoff were also both enhanced and would need to provide DNA to the government.   Wanda would be registered as a weapon of mass destruction.

It meant you and Sam had to decide what you wanted to do.  You knew there was no way Sam would sign.  He had already left the airforce, he wasn’t going back to working for the government again so soon.  Especially not with the added condition of registering humans with them.  You also knew he was unlikely to stop fighting - it just wasn’t in his nature.

Unfortunately, you didn’t have a chance to even talk about it before Sam was out the door again.

“Look,” Sam said as he got his best suit out of the closet.  “This is a big deal.  It kinda changes everything for us.  So maybe decide what you really want to do and what you’re okay with?  I mean… worst case scenario I could end up an international war criminal.”

“How likely is that though?”  You asked as you watched him zip the suit into a suit bag.

“I doubt it’s very likely but you gotta consider it, babe,” he said.  “I love you.  I want a life with you, but I don’t want you to end up resenting me because we end up on the run from the law together or something.”

“Right,” you said with a nod.  “You wouldn’t consider… I dunno… retiring?”

“Of course,” Sam said, moving on to the underwear drawer.  “And if these things go through and they make me sign, that’s what I’m gonna say I’m doing.  But you know me, I’m never gonna take some back seat when a big bad goes down.”

“No, I know,” you said.  “Me too.  You sure you don’t want me to come to this?”

Sam shook his head.  “This is Steve’s thing,” he said.  “I didn’t even know Peggy.  I’m gonna be there for him.  I’ll be back in a couple of days.  You think while I’m gone.”

“You know I’m just going to do whatever you do,” you said.  “Right?  I mean, the whole premise sounds a little -” you paused and rocked your hand back and forth “- the whole ‘registering people for being different’ thing?  And then to muzzle them and treat them as dangerous weapons.  It’s fucked up.  And besides.  You’re my man.  Where you go, I go.”

He smiled and came over and kissed your forehead.  “I’m your man, huh?”

“Mm-hmm… my fine man,” you hummed.

He laughed and touched the tip of your nose with his finger.  “Stop trying to distract me, woman.  I’ve got a funeral to go to.”

“Alright, alright,” you said, zipping up his bag.  “You’ll call me when you get there?”

He kissed your forehead again.  “Of course.”

You grabbed his t-shirt before he could pull away and dragged him down into a deep kiss.  He hummed softly and caressed your jaw, before pulling back and grabbing his bag.  “You think on it.  Okay?  No rash decisions.”

You agreed you would and watched him leave, not realizing how this was the point where everything would change.

You had been watching the news in your room when the word about the attack on the UN at the Vienna International Centre.  It hadn’t taken you long to realize if the number one suspect was James Barnes that Steve would be quick to take after him.  Sam had been on the trail of the infamous Winter Soldier since the day you’d met him, there was no way that Steve would let anyone else bring him in.

You also knew that if Steve went, Sam would likely go too.  Not because Sam was Steve’s shadow, but because they both had their moral compasses so inline that they ended up having the same thoughts at the same time.

Which would mean they were breaking international law and that unlikely scenario where they would become fugitives was a little more likely than you thought.

You needed to contact him, but you knew it was dangerous.  You sent him a text.  The two of you had gotten into the habit of sending large groups of emojis with little messages hidden inside.  Most of the time they were for no reason.  There would be a string of eggplants and peaches and then a random egg and milk carton to let the other person know you needed eggs and milk.  It was a habit that was built out of the paranoia you had drilled into you as a spy.  If something happened and you need to message each other covertly, seeing a string of random emojis would at a passing glance just look like the cute-coupley thing you both always did.  It wouldn’t withstand any deep probing, but it would be enough to let each other know that one of you was in trouble or to go grab the burner phone and run.

You texted Sam a string of hearts in kiss emojis with an American flag, a bird, a jogging emoji, and a snowflake mixed in.

He texted back a similar string with a thumbs up in the mix.

You replied with the more sexual emojis, eggplants, peaches, the droplets, the tongue, and among them was the girl with the hand raised in the air.

Sam replied with the same only instead of the girl was a thumbs down.

Yes, they were going after James Barnes.  No, he didn’t want you to come.

You didn’t hear from Sam again for two days.  Two days that only seemed to make matters worse.

Steve had indeed tracked down Barnes, but so had just about everyone else.  It ended with a car chase through the streets of Romania where Steve, Sam, Barnes, and weirdly the new king of Wakanda had been arrested by Rhodey of all people.

Sam called you when they had been taken back to Germany.

“I know you’re antsy, baby,” Sam said.  “But you need to stay put.  Right now they’ve confiscated my wings and Cap’s shield, but we think we’ll be let go.  We went after Barnes.  He’s captured.  That’s it.  Slap on the wrist, don’t do it again, type of bullshit.  Worse comes to worst… well, it’s not the first time they’ve tried taking my wings off me, is it?”

“Sam!”  You yelped.  “This line…”

“I’m joking!  I’m joking!”  Sam said, holding his hands up in front of the screen.  You knew he wasn’t.

“Anyway…” Sam continued.  “I think Tony’s trying to talk Steve into signing the accords.  I dunno if he will or not.  Maybe just to keep the peace.  But there’s no way I’m going to.”

“I want to be there with you,” you pouted.  “I could help.”

“It’ll just make things messy,” Sam said.  “Trust me.  You’re better off there.  It’s not like I can get in any more trouble now Barnes is captured.”

He was wrong.

The next you heard Barnes had broken out and Sam and Steve had taken after him.  You received a text not long after the news broke with a series of hearts and a cellphone emoji.

You went to your closet, grabbed the burner phone, and went out for a run.  You were just leaving the perimeter of the compound when the burner rang.

“Sam?”  You said, pressing the phone to your ear.

“Yeah, baby,” Sam said.  “It’s me.  Did you hear?”

“They’re saying you’re on the run with Barnes,” you said. “Please tell me you were just recapturing him.”

Sam laughed.  “That was the idea,” he said.  “This shit is going deep and we need help.  There’s this guy - wanted to get to Barnes to find out about some other Super Soldiers and where they’re kept.  So now we might have a bunch of really psychotic super soldiers being released on the world by someone even more psychotic than they are.”

“Where are you?  What do you need me to do?”  You asked.

“I’m tempted to tell you to stay put,” Sam said.

“Sam, I’m not…”

“No, I know,” he said.  “But think about it.  You do this - you come after me and we’re fugitives.  We can’t go home.  All this talk of weddings and babies?  It’s not happening.  It’ll be you and me on the run from everywhere.  Best we can hope for is one day when we’re both too old to run we settle in some country that doesn’t extradite.”

“I heard Montenegro didn’t sign,” you half-joke.  “It looks pretty nice there.”

Sam laughed.  “See I was thinking Cape Verde.”

You let out a breath and smiled a little.  “Always thinking, you are.”

“You know it, baby,” Sam said.  “Now, Clint’s coming…”

“What?  But his family?”  You yelped.

“I know… but like you, you can’t tell him no,” Sam said.  “He’s going to grab Wanda.  When you get back, go to her, but say nothing.  Just a little girl’s bonding time.  Okay?  I’m sure Vizh will be hanging around her.  He always is.  Don’t leave her side even if they do make it clear that you’re third-wheeling.”

“Should I pack?”  You asked.

“No,” Sam said quickly.  “I’m even a little worried you grabbing the burner might be too much of a giveaway to what’s going on.”

“I did it while I changed into my jogging gear,” you said.  “Nabbed it with my heart rate monitor.”

“Good.  Well hopefully that covered that gorgeous ass of yours,” he said.  “But aside from deciding you want to hang with Wanda you’re not doing anything strange, okay?  Clint will get there and you go.  Tony’s an asshole, but not that big of an asshole, I don’t think he’d burn our things, so we’re gonna have to trust that the compound will act as our storage until this is sorted out.  If it ever is.”

“Okay,” you said with a sigh.

“I love you,” Sam said softly.  “You take care of yourself.”

“You too, Sammy,” you said.  “Don’t do anything dumber than you already have until I get there and can join in.”

Sam laughed.  “You got it.  I’ll see you soon.”

“Yeah.  See you.”

You disconnected the call and shoved it back behind your heart rate monitor and turned to run back to the compound.  You had a fight to prepare for.

//  NEXT

[maaneskin]

you, you, you. han jisung

note: she’s done,, she’s finally done when i tell you i’m crying but as always she’s not very good lol

is mc a stoner?? probably

description: as class president, jisung should probably care about the skateboard you have with you in class, but he doesn’t. why? because he’s very much in love with you

warnings: h jisung breaks an arm, hospital visits, skateboarding

wc: 6.5k new record omg

one.

as the class president, jisung should care about the skateboard you always had with you, and placed under your desk during class. but he didn’t. in fact, you could probably throw all the desks and chairs out of the windows, and he wouldn’t find any problem in it.

all his friends knew it, and boy, oh boy, did they make fun of him. out of everybody at the school, he had to be in love with you; a history and science genius, skater, who only hung out with your 5 friends. 

he couldn’t help it, though. the combination of your charming personality, brain, and skateboarding skills — all of it made him weak in the knees. (not to mention he found you insanely attractive, especially when you rode your board.) 

you were friends. kinda. not really. you knew him and he knew much about you. the two of you never talked outside of good morning’s and if you had a question about homework or an event, something jisung was relatively sad about.

jisung remembers the day he began crushing on you. he remembers it clearly. like it happened no longer than 10 minutes ago. he remembers seeing you skate slowly besides ryujin as she walked. one of your hands on her shoulder, letting her make you roll along, the other holding a cup from a local coffee shop. he remembers seeing you laugh as ryujin made big motions with her hands as she babbled on about something. seeing you in that moment made something inside him click and before he could register or stop it, he developed a crush. a crush that eventually turned into something deeper.

“god, you really just find the bare minimum attractive,” seungmin came up to the table his best friend was sat at, with a judging face.

“i don’t know what you’re talking about,” jisung moved his head from it’s resting spot on his hand and made eye contact with his friend.

“i’m talking about you being in love with a junkie,”

oh yeah, someone once started a rumor that you and your friends were junkies and did drugs behind the school. jisung never believed them and did his best to shot them down whenever he heard it, “(name) is not a junkie,” he huffed. 

seungmin rolled his eyes, “if you say so,” 

jisung shot his friend a look, but didn’t get to say anything before a certain cat like person eagerly sat down next to seungmin, “what are we talking about?” felix asked, beaming with his usual happiness.

“jisung being in love with a junkie,” seungmin answered, smiling at his friend.

“(name) is not a junkie,” jisung repeated, throwing his hands out to emphasize his words. his eyes drifted from his friends to you and your friends sitting in the back of the library, laughing. his eyes fell to under the table, where you usually kept your board when you had it with you. it wasn’t there, and it made him furrow his eyebrows.

“he’s doing it again. observing a junkie who’s in love with their skateboard,” seungmin spoke like he was a commentator on a nature documentary, making felix giggle and jisung roll his eyes with a smile.

“shut up, kim,”

“hmm,” seungmin pretended to think about jisung’s words, “you know, i don’t think i will,”

rolling his eyes, jisung couldn’t help but breath out a laugh, as felix giggled again, “you’re so stupid,”

“at least i’m not in love with someone i’ve never had a conversation with,” 

“low blow,” felix gasped dramatically, whereas jisung rolled his eyes and turned his attention to his homework.

after finally getting felix to concentrate on his work, silence fell over the three. but jisung still couldn't help himself; he kept stealing glances at you and your friends — though, mostly you. you just looked so beautiful with your head thrown back as you laughed at yuna and lia’s bickering. he let out a quiet sigh as he rested his head on his hand again, eyes directed to your figure.

seungmin noticed his friend’s staring, “the bare minimum,” he whispered, grinning when jisung reached over the table to hit him on the arm.

“shut up,”

“why don’t you just talk to them?” felix asked innocently, happy he could stop studying for the time being.

jisung leaned defeated back in the chair, his eyes drifting to you again, “they won’t like me,” 

seungmin and felix shared a look. seungmin sighed deeply. he and jisung were close; they told each other most things — that included crushes, and to say jisung talked about you would be an understatement; he always found a way to bring you up in a conversation. it frustrated seungmin to no end, if he was being honest.

“jisung,” the youngest of the three began, only continuing when he knew jisung’s attention was on him, “you’re a great guy. you’re funny, smart, not ugly, passionate, and so much more, and if (name) doesn't like you it’s their loss,” he spoke honestly.

jisung was at a loss for words and so was felix. seungmin. kim seungmin just said something sweet that wasn’t sarcastic.

seungmin’s face flushed red, looking down into his english textbook, “stop looking at me like that,”

jisung snapped out of his daze and reached over the table again, grabbing seungmin’s hand, “thank you, min, i needed that,” jisung mirrored the smile that broke out on seungmin’s face.

“why do you never say stuff like that to me?” felix suddenly whined, holding onto seungmin’s arm, pouting when the other two laughed.

two.

“hey class pres!” 

jisung stopped dead in his tracks. he knew that voice. your voice. he turned around to see you half jogging to catch up to him, “hi, (name),” he smiled awkwardly. much like seungmin said, he had never had a conversation with you, so he had no idea how to carry or present himself to you.

you smiled to him, smoothing out your white uniform shirt, “class pres,” 

praying you didn’t notice how he was following your movement, he gulped, “uh, so, what-what do you want?” 

“uhm, well,” you scratched your arm, “i need your help with…something,” 

“with what?” jisung was suspicious.

“uh, well, mr. choi took my skateboard and i need it back,” 

“and you need me for that?” 

“you have keys to the teachers offices?” 

jisung squinted his eyes at you, “yes?” he said carefully, although it sounded more like a question. his eyes widened when it hit him what you alluded, “i can't do that!” 

“please, class pres, it’s only gonna take five minutes max,”

covered in disbelief, jisung looked at you gaping, “i could lose my status!” his eyes were wide, “i've worked hard to become class president and a member of the student council!” 

there was a strict policy about how no students were allowed in the teacher's lounge without a teacher, and jisung was not about to break it.

widening your eyes and clapping your hands together, you made eye contact with the boy in front of you, “please, i’ll pay you back, i promise,” 

jisung gulped; your pleading made him feel a lot of things. he stared into your eyes, getting lost in them, “i’ll help,” he muttered before he could stop himself, “but if we get caught, you’re taking the blame,” his heart melted when you nodded enthusiastically — you were so cute.

motioning for you to follow him, jisung tried not to show his red cheeks. he probably shouldn’t have been so nervous about simply walking with you, but this was the closest he had ever been to you. he tried not to notice how your hands occasionally brushed against each other, to no avail; everytime it happened, everytime your fingers brushed against his, he felt like his hand was on fire. in a good way.

definitely in a good way.

as you approached the door to the teachers lounge, jisung felt more and more tense — he didn’t even want to think about the amount of trouble he could get in. he would get months worth of detention, his friends were all gonna leave him after he got kicked from the council, his reputation was gonna go down the drain, he was gonna lose everything, they were gonna kick him out of the school-

“aren’t you gonna unlock it?” you asked, standing a behind your class president 

jisung blinked blankly at the door, “sorry,” he mumbled, hands fumbling with the keyring he had been trusted with when he became apart of the student council, “i’m just nervous,”

“i can tell,” 

jisung could tell you were smiling.

“i can do it if you don’t want to,” you offered, licking your lips; they were really dry.

“no, no, i can do it,” jisung finally unlocked the door, softly opening, sticking his head in to see if anybody was there, “it’s empty. be quick,” 

nodding, you went past him and into the empty room, eyes darting around the room, searching for one of your most prized possessions, “there,” you whispered, eyes landing on the colorful skateboard. it was on the top of a tall shelf — you needed a chair to reach it, and the only chairs in the room were spinning chairs. 

jisung, on the other hand, was starting to shake. this was too much for his nervous heart to handle. his eyes became comically large at the sound of footsteps nearing the corner. only teachers came down here, so the chances it was just another student was slim. 

telling you someone was coming would only alert the teacher someone was there and that would only result in something that would make jisung feel bad. in the midst of his panic, he peeked into the room to see you trying to balance on a chair, that only added onto his panic. 

he quickly shut the door and tried to look normal, as the person rounded the corner. it was a teacher, the english teacher to be exact. she was known for being overly strict and just straight up mean.

“hi mrs. lee, how are you?” he chuckled nervously.

she eyed him suspiciously, “han jisung, what are you doing down here? you know you’re not supposed to be here,” 

you were leaning against the door, skateboard in hand and a new scratch on your knee, “c’mon, class pres, say something,” you pleaded in a whisper.

as if jisung heard you, he came back to his sense, “well, mrs. lee, i’m looking for ms. han, but it seems like she’s not here,” jisung tried his best to look genuine, and apparently it worked, for mrs. lee hummed and nodded, before walking over to the war wore, grabbing her jacket. shooting the student one last doubtful look, she left around the same corner she came from. 

jisung tiptoed after her, making sure she walked away. when there was no sight of her, he let out a deep sigh of relief. 

but his relief didn’t last long, before the realization that he just lied to a teacher kicked in, “oh my god,” 

walking out of the teachers lounge with a grin on your face, you went over to the boy looked like he had just seen a ghost.

“you good, dude?”

jisung was bewildered as he looked at you, “i just lied to a teacher,” 

“yeah, and it was a solid one,”

“i just..lied to a teacher,”

you rolled your eyes but smiled, putting your skateboard on the ground, making sure it was stil before putting both your hands on jisung’s shoulders, “it’s okay,” you shook him gently, “you did great — no harm done,”

jisung finally looked at you; though he felt terrible he broke the rules, the smile on your face was enough to lessen the guilt. the perfume you were wearing was intoxicating to him.

“thank you for the help, class pres. you’re pretty cool,” you removed your hands from his shoulder to pick up your skateboard, with a small smirk on your face, “we should hang out sometime. i’ll see you around,” 

astonished, jisung stood still, not saying anything. at least not before you were almost around the corner, “you can just call me jisung, you know,” he called after you.

barely turning around, you said loud enough so he could hear you, “i prefer class pres,” with that you rounded the corner and left jisung alone.

putting a hand over his heart, jisung was breathing heavy, “what the fuck,” he mumbled, before fishing his phone out of his pocket to text seungmin about where he was so he could tell him about what the fuck just happened.

“by the lake behind the school” seungmin responded within two minutes, and jisung was on his way.

“kim seungmin, kim seungmin, kim seungmin, kim seungmin,” jisung repeated to himself, as he approached the younger, who was doing homework at a table, “kim seungmin, kim seungmin, kim seungmin, kim seungmin,”

“shut up, would you,”

ignoring seungmin’s words, jisung threw himself onto his friend, resulting in seungmin making a line across his notes, “jisung!” 

“guess what?” jisung ignored seungmin’s words once again in favor for himself.

“what?” seungmin glared at the other, not that he noticed.

jisung’s eyes were wide and his hands were moving around animatedly as he told seungmin what happened in great detail. when he was done, seungmin’s eyes were as wide as jisung’s

“you what?”

jisung sat up straight, “i know,”

“you what?!”

“i know!” 

“so- wait, you helped (name) get their skateboard back by sneaking into the teachers lounge and then you lied to mrs lee and then (name) said you were cool and that you should hang out,”

jisung thought it over, “yeah, that’s about it,”

“dude!” seungmin was amazed, but he didn’t know wether it was the good kind or the bad kind, “that’s great! — i mean, not the part where you broke into the teachers lounge and lied to mrs. lee — but you talked to (name)!”

“they’re so,” jisung let out a dreamy sigh — seungmin faked a gag.

“you’re so in love, it’s disgusting,”

“you’re so mean, i’m not,” jisung huffed, looking out over the open field, made of grass and asphalt. students were scattered around doing their own thing, including you and your friends, who were laughing and talking, while walking — you skating — across the asphalt to get to the street.

you noticed jisung and waved, to which he turned bright red and waved back.

“gross,” seungmin commented with an eye roll.

“shut up, kim,” 

three.

walking with his hands in his pockets, jisung kicked a few rocks out of his way. the hood of his hoodie was up so his slightly greasy and messy hair wouldn’t been seen; he hadn’t bothered taking a shower before leaving, only giving himself a quick wash in the sink. the black sweatpants he was wearing hadn’t been washed in an embarrassing amount of time and the white t-shirt he was wearing underneath the hoodie was picked up from the floor he hadn’t vacuumed in way too long. but it didn’t matter to him; it wasn’t like he was going somewhere special, just to the movie theater to watch a movie by himself, so he didn’t bother making something out of himself today. 

but he regretted it deeply when he saw a familiar white sweatshirt and colored skateboard. what were you doing here?! and why today when he looked like literal trash?! “what the fuck! fuck no, fuck no, fuck no,” jisung was cursing himself, while trying to hide himself by pulling his hood further down his face. he prayed to whatever gods were up there, you wouldn’t see him, and if you did, he hoped you wouldn’t recognize him. unfortunately his prayers went unheard, as you saw him just before he took the first step into the theater.

“class pres?” 

he visibly cringed, turning around, “hi (name),” he singsonged awkwardly.

you quickly caught up to him, putting a hand on his shoulder, “class pres,” you grinned, and jisung took notice of how happy you looked, he also took notice of how you held your skateboard. he especially noticed your hands — the veins adorning your them and how long your fingers were (okay, maybe he had a hand kink, like hyunjin once said). 

“what movie are you watching?”

jisung’s eyes snapped to yours, his cheeks reddening. he cleared his throat, “uh oh, just- just one of the reruns,” he hoped he didn’t sound as awkward as he felt.

you hummed, “wanna watch one together?”

if jisung’s face wasn’t red before, it was now. his eyes widened, “uh- s-sure,” 

you smiled and walked into the theater, one hand gripping jisung’s wrist, the other holding your board.

jisung thought he was going to explode at the skin contact. this was the first time you ever touched him. it was the first time he was close enough to touch you actually. he knew you were a touchy person, having seen you doing a lot of skinship with your friends and simple acquaintances. 

he was brought out of his thoughts when he heard you speak to the teenager behind the counter, and was about to protest you paying for both your tickets when you turned to him, handing him his, “i could pay my own ticket, you know,” he mumbled, but you heard him clearly.

“think of this as a thank you for breaking the rules with me,” you smiled, before dragging him with you to the snacks and soda, where jisung paid. you tried to stop him, but quickly found out jisung could be stubborn when he wanted to.

“you didn’t have to pay everything,” 

jisung was almost sure you were pouting, but you were walking behind him so he couldn’t see, “but you paid for my ticket,” he smiled, sitting down on one of the chairs, you next to him.

he was right — you were pouting, and god, you were adorable. he cooed internally and had to refrain himself from pinching your cheek. he settled for a small grin before leaning back into his seat.

the movie wasn’t as good as jisung remembered; the animation was terrible and the voices were weird, and it seemed you thought the same thing, because the second you stepped outside the theater both of you burst into laughter. 

“that was awful,” 

“right!” you grinned, dropping your skateboard on the ground, putting a foot on it, “i don’t remember it being that bad,” 

jisung smiled brightly to you, feeling like he might explode if you looked any better.

“do you wanna hang out?” you licked your lips as you asked. 

jisung froze slightly, your words flowing around his head. you asked him if he wanted to hang out. you asked him. you were so much cooler than he could ever be, why did you want to hang out with him?

“uh, we don’t have to,” you said after not getting an answer, “i'll just see you monday, class pres,”

jisung, you idiot, say something! “wait! no, i- yeah, we can hang out. sorry, i zoned out,” jisung was sure if you smiled any brighter he would go blind.

“great! where do you wanna go?”

you ended up getting streetfood — sharing a small serving of tteokbokki by the mall close to the theater, “i could’ve paid,” jisung pouted when you placed the tteokbokki between the two of you on the bench, sticking his tongue out at you when you did it to him. 

you handed him a pair of wooden chopsticks, grinning, “you should’ve been faster then,” 

after throwing you a non-threatening glare, the two of you ate and talked. the conversation was natural and not awkward at all (despite jisung stumbling over his words constantly).

jisung’s heart was beating fast. the entire situation was surreal for him. he had been crushing on you for ages, and now, here he was, eating street food with you after watching a movie. wasn’t that basically a date? jisung wasn’t sure, but it sure did seem like it. his heart sped up as he looked at you.  you looked so contect, sitting there with him, eating — slightly — overpriced tteokbokki.

the sun was framing you beautifully, highlighting your face. his eyes directed to your lips, just as you stuck your tongue out to lick them, removing some sauce.though he tried to look away, he couldn't help it. he wanted to lean in and kiss you, press his lips against yours in a soft manner. subconsciously, he licked his lips as he stared at yours.

“jisung?” you waved your hand in front of his face, with a cheeky smile, “is anyone there?” 

“huh? yeah- yeah! me- i’m here,” he stumbled over his words. his face heated up. why was he like this?! he hid his face in his hands when you giggled, face heating up.

“you’re adorable,” 

jisung’s face to even hotter at your words, and he let out a whine, “shut up. you’re making me all,” he made a strangled noise, making you laugh — jisung could physically feel himself fall more in love with you at the sound. your laugh was lovely.

you were lovely.

his breath hitched when you cooed at his cuteness; this was too much for his fragile heart to handle, “stop it,” he whined. his whining didn’t do anything other than make you tease him even more.

when you had leaned back again after getting done teasing him, you ate the last few pieces of tteokbokki, while jisung checked his phone, “it’s getting late,” 

using your sleeve to remove some sauce, you asked, “what time is it?” 

“almost eight,” 

“shit,” you muttered, getting up from the bench, “i have to get home. i’ll see you tomorrow, class pres,” 

“why do you always call me class pres? you can just call me by my name...please,” 

you smiled softly, rolling your eyes, “okay, han jisung. i’ll see you tomorrow,” 

jisung watched you skate away with a pounding heart; you called him han! he let out a dreamy sigh, leaning back on the bench, hands over his face. he was happy, oh so happy — you had hung out! he, han jisung, hung out with you, his crush since forever! and if he had been reading the signs correctly, you liked being out with him. pride filled his chest; he had made you laugh a lot, and the sound was music to his ears.

“jisung!” 

a deep familiar voice ripped jisung from his thoughts, “felix?”

felix sat down right next to jisung (almost on him, but jisung didn’t say anything), “what are you doing here? i thought you said you were going to the movies,” 

jisung smiled at how cute his friend was — felix’s doe eyes on full display for him, “i did,”

“then why are you here?”

“i met (name),” jisung in took a sharp breath, as a bright smile grew on the youngers face, “we saw a movie together and went here afterwards,” 

“that’s great, sung!” 

“felix!” hyunjin called out when he finally saw his friend, “don’t run from me,” he huffed, sitting down beside to felix, “hey sung,” 

jisung smiled at the taller, “hi,”

“jisung was with (name)!” felix told hyunjin excitedly, eyes sparkling.

“(name)? (name) (full name) (name)?” 

jisung’s face got hot for the nth time that day, “yes,” 

“dude! that’s great!” 

“yeah,” jisung muttered, warmth filling his chest. it was great, really great.

four. 

from (name) <3: come outside

from (name) <3: n wear long pants

from (name) <3: or don't,,  that's up to you but we're gonna skate so u probably should

jisung rubbed his eyes with the ball his hands, before reading the texts again — you wanted to hang out with him again? after the fiasco that was your last time spending time together?

you had went home with a shirt drenched in coke because jisung dropped the bottle and then opened it right after, already forgotten he dropped it. he cringed at the memory.

panic was filled him. what should he do?! a light bulb went off over his head — kim seungmin. jisung’s fingers quickly tapped through his phone and found seungmin’s number, calling him. he bit his lower lip as he waiting impatiently for seungmin to pick up.

“what do you want?”seungmin sounded nothing less of annoyed as he answered his phone, rubbing his eyes to get rid of the sleep.

“(name) wants to hang out!”

“okay? and? what’s the problem?” 

“what’s the pr- dude! i can’t!” 

“then don’t,” seungmin was tired.

“no, i want to,”

“then do it,” 

jisung groaned, “you’re not much help, you know,” 

“don’t care, break a leg,” seungmin hung up the phone right after, leaving jisung moping. jisung moves the phone from his ear and looked at it in shock. 

from (name) <3: hurry!!!!!!

shaking seungmin’s hang up off him, jisung hurriedly threw on clothes — hopefully they were clean — and ran to the bathroom to make himself look presentable. water ended up all over the counter when jisung wet his face, “sorry mom,” he muttered, cringing at all the water, before making a run for it to the front door, shouting a quick “bye” to anyone in the house.

the bright midday summer sun made everything bright, making jisung temporarily blind. when he could see again, he saw you resting on the sidewalk across from his home, rolling your skateboard with your shoe covered feet, eyes closed whilst you enjoyed the warmth of the sun. to jisung, the sight was ethereal — you were practically glowing.

“(name),” he called out when the sound of a bird tore him away from his thoughts.

“han! you came,” you smiled, standing up and did the few meters of skating to get to him.

“of course i came, you told me to,” he blushed, taking a step back at the closeness.

“oh?” you raised an eyebrow, a teasing smile finding its way onto your face, “you like being told what to do?” 

is jisung was red before, he was sure was now; his face looking something like a brand new fire hydrant, “i-i don-don’t- what? no- no! i-“ 

“i’m kidding, han,” you grinned, watching him stammer — he was so cute, “let’s go,” 

“uh, where are we going?” 

grabbing his hand, you pulled him with you, your skateboard in hand, i’m gonna teach you how to skate,” 

“what?- no, my- my balance is terrible,” 

“i know; i’ve seen you trip over nothing multiple times,” 

“you have?” jisung’s heart skipped a beat — you noticed him.

“of course i have, you’re quite popular, you know,” 

“am i?” this was news to jisung. 

“what do you mean “am i”!?” you stopped abruptly, making jisung bump into you, “you don’t know?” 

“know what?” you were staring at him in awe, and jisung flustered to no end.

“you’re one of the most popular guys in our grade,” 

a strangled noise came from the back of jisung’s throat in surprise and confusion. the sound made you laugh — oh, that heavenly sound jisung had become addicted to i just a few weeks.

“we’re here!” 

jisung scanned the area; it was mostly empty, except from a few kids playing on the smaller ramps. this was good, it would save jisung from the embarrassment he was about to experience.

“it’s not that difficult,” you laughed, smile widening when jisung’s grip on your hands tightened, so he wouldn’t fall off, “relax your knees. you’re shaking,”

“stop making fun of me,” jisung said loudly, pouting while trying to balance on your skateboard. you were right, he was shaking. the muscles in his legs were 

“i’m not!”

“you are!” he whined. this was a lot harder than you made it look like, and the fact that you were holding hands didn’t help in the slightest. jisung yelped loudly when the board disappeared from under him, landing flat on his butt. 

“oh,” you gasped chuckling, walking over to help him up, “i told you to relax your knees,” 

jisung grumbled, taking your hand and pulled himself up from the ground, “shut up, it hurt,” he rubbed the spot with a groan.

“sorry,” you said, still giggling, are you okay?”

while nodding, jisung couldn’t help but smile; you were so cute. he got onto the board when you asked if he wanted to try again, this time with relaxed knees. it went better, though he still didn’t dare to stand on his own, too afraid he would fall again. 

after a few tries, he let go of your hands and stood on his own, arms out to each side, “i’m doing it!” he cheered, as your skateboard rolled on the concrete.

you laughed at his enthusiasm, “you are!” 

jisung’s smile grew wider, while he slowly lowered his arms. he quickly found out that was a mistake, for before he knew it, the board disappeared under him and he landed on the ground, this time on his arm — he’s pretty sure he heard a crack.

the door opened, making you stand up. jisung walked out first, his mom following him closely. his arm was in a white cast; you winced. that was your fault, partly.

jisung’s mom ruffled his hair, said something to him, and gave you a smile when she walked out the front door to the hospital. he gave you a tight smile, while you approached him.

“you okay?” 

“i mean,” he held up his casted arm with a small smile, “but yeah, i’m okay, it’s just my arm,”

“i’m sorry,” you apologized.

jisung furrowed his eyebrows, “for what?” 

“i shouldn’t have let go of you,” 

jisung could see how bad you felt — it made him sad, “i let go of you first, and besides,” he lifted his arm again, “i think it looks pretty cool,” a warm feeling spread in his chest when you smiled relieved. 

“it does,” your eyes danced over his casted arm, “can i write something on it?” 

“sure! wanna get out of here first, though?” 

you nodded and left the building, jisung holding his casted arm. 

a noise left you in distress when jisung tried to take a look at what you were writing, “don’t look!” you gripped the ink pencil harder.

jisung whined, “i wanna know what you’re writing,” 

“and you will, when i’m done,” you huffed.

jisung sighed loudly and over dramatically, “fine,” 

silence filled the air at the brick bridge you were sitting on, legs dangling over the water. a gentle breeze brushing up under yours and jisung’s clothes, giving both of you goosebumps. jisung’s eyes followed the running water as it ran under the bridge, while you were bend over, writing on jisung’s arm.

you leaned back up, “done!” 

“i swear if you drew a dick-“

“i didn't,” you laughed, making him do the same. before his eyes could reach his cast, you covered it with your hand, “don’t read it yet,” 

“why not?” jisung blinked.

“i don’t want to be here when you do,” 

“why not?” 

you raised an eyebrow, a smile tugging on your lips, “do you always repeat yourself?” 

“not always,” 

chuckling, you swung your legs over the bridge and jumped down, landing firmly on the pavement, “i’ll see you later, jisung,” you got onto your skateboard and rolled away in a slow speed, saluting to jisung when he call out a “get home safe” after you.

jisung did as you said and didn’t look until you were out of his sight. his own fingers were covering it, preventing him from getting an accidental peek at what you wrote. after you were out of his line of sight, he waited another five minutes, before removing his fingers. 

“i like you a whole lot — we should date” with a heart beside it.

jisung’s breath hitched as his heart began pounding. he read the words you wrote over and over again, engraving them in his mind. 

“i like you a whole lot — we should date” 

“i like you a whole lot — we should date” 

“i like you a whole lot — we should date” 

he whispered the words to himself, tasting them. you liked him a whole lot and said you should date. the fear that this was a dream hit him, and he pinched the skin on his bicep with his uninjured hand, “ow,” 

that hurt; this was not a dream. this was real life. holy shit. you wanted to date him! what the fuck?! you wanted to date him? jisung was a mess, a flustered mess as he sat alone on the brick bridge in the edge of town, legs hanging still over the water, a swarm of butterflies in his stomach.

five. 

“just ask,” 

“i can’t just ask,”

“yes, you can,” seungmin rolled his eyes and flicked jisung on the forehead, making said boy rub the spot and pout, “what’d you do that for?”

“you’re thinking too much,”

“am not,” the older mumbled, still rubbing the spot, soothing his pain.

“jisung, just ask,” 

“what do i even say?! “hey, (name), i like you a lot, can i be your boyfriend?””

“yes,” seungmin said with a deadpan expression.

jisung blinked, “i can’t say that!” he whined, “that’s stupid,” 

“you’re stupid,” 

jisung’s gaze fell down to his casted arm. (“dude, when i said break a leg this isn’t what i meant,” seungmin had stressed after finding out about jisung’s broken arm.)

it had been three weeks since he broke it arm and had gotten it casted. it had also been three weeks since you told — wrote — jisung you liked him. it had been three weeks since jisung had talked to you. he didn’t mean to ignore you! actually, he had been wanting to talk to you during the time, but he had no idea what he would say, so he ended up not speaking with you at all. you probably thought he didn’t like you back and ignored you because he hated you or something. the thought of you being sad made him feel terrible, especially since it would be his fault.

jisung took in a sharp breath and walked into the classroom, seungmin behind him, rolling his eyes at how nervous jisung was. jisung had literally nothing to be nervous about — you had already confessed; jisung knew you liked him, why on earth was he still nervous? it made no sense in seungmin’s mind. if jisung just got it together and asked you out his problem would be solved.

seungmin dumped his backpack down onto the floor, as he sat in his seat. from where he was sat he had a clear view of both you and jisung, both of you looked sad, you more than him. seungmin shook his head; this was stupid, so utterly stupid. 

class went by, but jisung weren’t paying attention in the slightest, his mind was filled with you — you and your sparkling eyes and pretty smile. he had sighed more than he could count during the lesson, attracting attention from almost everybody in the room, you included. when the bell rang, jisung didn’t move until seungmin came up behind him and nudged him on the shoulder.

“do it now,” seungmin vaguely pointed his head in your direction.

jisung bit his lip, “now?” he mumbled, looking at you while you were packing up your things. he sighed for the nth time when seungmin nodded sternly. he walked with slow steps, shoes never leaving the ground fully. when he stood in front of you he ran a hand through his hair, “(name), can i talk to you?”

yeji glared at him before you could do anything. you were sure she was going to throw hands if you didn’t stop her. putting a hand on her arm, you pulled her back, scolding her lightly, before turning to the male in front of you, “i guess,”

jisung licked his lips, feeling himself shrink under yeji’s glare, “alone, please,”

nodding, you nudged yeji on the arm, saying you’ll meet her in the cafeteria. she hesitated, but left with seungmin and the rest of the class. when all were gone, you spoke, “so...what do you wanna talk about?”

“i-” he in took a deep breath, “i’m sorry for ignoring you...especially after what you wrote,” subconsciously he put his hand over his cast, “i didn’t mean to, i just..i panicked,”

your face fell, a lump forming in your throat, “it’s fine if you don’t like me back, i would just prefer you didn’t ignore me,”

“i do like you,” the words fell from his lips before he could stop them. his face flushed red as what he said registered in his mind, “i do like you,” he repeated in a smaller voice, “that’s why i panicked. it’s- i’ve liked you for so long, and then you confess that you like me, and it was just a lot to take in,”

a smile  grew on your face as he talked — rambled. he was so cute.

“and i’m sorry for ignoring you, really i am, and if you don’t mind i would like you take you on a date,” jisung looked at you for the first time since he started talking, and to say he was surprised by the smile you had on your pretty face, would be an understatement.

you stepped closer to him, not missing the way his breath hitched, “i would love to go on a date with you, han jisung,”you grinned, cupping his face, before connecting your lips, just as jisung’s mind went blank.

your lips felt like heaven, this was heaven, jisung concluded as his lips were pressed against yours, like he had imagined many times, only this was a million times better. jisung was sure he could spend forever and longer kissing you. warmth filled him as his lips moved with yours. when you pulled away jisung was in a daze, mind fill only with you, you, you.

you brushed some hair out of his face, leaving a last peak on his lips, “i’ll see you later, angel,” you smiled to him, slowly letting your fingers drift from his, before walking to your friends with a hot face.

jisung stood frozen in the same spot long after you left, only moving when seungmin and felix came into the room. 

“did you do it?” felix asked eagerly, almost jumping in place.

jisung didn’t — couldn’t — respond, still caught up in the feeling of your lips on his.

seungmin snorted, “i think he did, and more,”

“they kissed me,” jisung muttered, his heart warming, “we kissed. i kissed (name),”

“nice done, sung,” seungmin complimented, smiling warmly as a grin broke out on jisung’s face.

jisung’s face flushed once again when he remembered what you called him, “they called me angel,” 

as the class president, jisung should care about the skateboard you always had with you, and placed under your desk during class. but he didn’t. in fact, you could probably throw all the desks and chairs out of the windows, and he wouldn’t find any problem in it, especially not now, not when he’s your boyfriend and you call him angel.

[firewoodfigs]

and A and B collapsed in it, exhausted

ERI!!! ILY 🥰💕

VADE ILY MORE <3 tysm for the prompt and I'm so sorry it took me so long to get back to it, but I hope you enjoy!! :')

(side note: this kinda spiralled out of control so it might be a better idea to read it on ao3 instead LMAO)

                                        xxxxx

There are a few things that her mind manages to dimly register before it loses focus.

One, the ongoing chaos around her — the yelling and screaming and the achingly familiar smell of smoke. Riza hopes that means the unit is safe, that the mission has succeeded. Adrenaline rushes through her veins as she struggles to remain alert, but her faculties are stubbornly uncooperative, and the only thing it really manages to absorb at the moment is pain.

Pain. Her hand is drenched, sticky. Riza inhales shakily, her breath coming out in short, ragged gasps. She’s bleeding from her side, and she has to bite her lip to keep from crying out as she presses down on her side. Her efforts are in vain; blood continues to drip on broken cobblestone like water from a leaking tap. She’ll probably need a blood transfusion or two. Riza just hopes she hasn’t punctured a lung (though she can certainly feel the makings and telltale signs of a broken rib or two).

The last thing she hears a voice she’d recognise anywhere — Hawkeye, stay with me. Stay awake, you hear me?Instinctively, Riza tries to obey the command, but it’s hard when pain is spreading through her chest like an exploding star; when she can barely catch her breath. She picks up on the desperation in his voice as he lapses into informality — Riza, stay with me, please. You’re going to be okay— and manages to choke out an apology before her consciousness flickers like a spoiled lamp. She wants to tell him to not worry, to tell him how she’s truly felt for the past decade, but the last spots of light in her vision seems to fade away, somewhere far beyond her reach, and —

And then her world turns to black.

—

When she finally wakes, her world is an astonishing shade of white.

Riza blinks groggily. She would have pushed herself into a sitting position, but the dull ache in her side seems to hint that that would be a spectacularly stupid thing to do. So she continues lying down, feeling very much like an invalid. Her nose wrinkles at the nauseating stench. Antiseptics. Disinfectants.

The hospital.

Riza bites back a groan and, this time, fighting any sense of rationality and self-preservation, attempts to seat herself up. She hears a matronly voice fussing over her predicament — something about her being as stubborn as Colonel Mustang had described her to be, and would have snorted aloud at the hypocrisy if the morphine hadn’t done its job so expediently.

Riza falls back asleep, the pain slowly ebbing away as a hand reaches out to gently stroke her hair.

—

The next time Riza wakes, her world is spinning, tilting on its axis to create an indecipherable blur of colour. There are, however, blobs of light swimming in her vision, warm and golden —  daylight? It must be daytime, then.

Riza swallows a pained groan and forces her eyelids open. Her vision is hazy, but she notes, to her dismay, that the ceiling is still conspicuously white. That must mean she’s still in the hospital. She clears her throat and blinks, hard, thinking it might just be a hallucination or a side effect of having too much morphine in her system, but her surroundings remain the same.

The only difference this time is the voice that greets her. It’s deep and decidedly masculine, one that she would recognise anywhere. (One that has been haunting her dreams.)

“Are you awake, Lieutenant?”

“I am,” Riza mumbles. She will never understand how her body can be so tired even after she’s slept so much. She doesn’t even know how long she’s been out for. “How long was I out for?”

“Nearly two days,” Roy whispers, and she immediately detects the worry in his voice. She wonders if he’s gotten much sleep over the past two days; the dark circles lining his concerned eyes tells her that he hasn’t. “How are you feeling?”

“I’m alright, sir.”

Riza shakes her head lightly in an effort to dispel some of the dizziness. Slowly, she tries to ease herself into a sitting position, wincing as a sudden wave of pain surges through her abdomen.

“Lieutenant!” he half-yells, chidingly. Riza winces again when he circles his arms around her torso without any warning. “You shouldn’t be doing that.”

“Hypocrite,” Riza manages, weakly.

Another burst of pain renders her speechless soon enough, and then she’s gripping onto the bed rail like it’s a lifeline.

Roy ignores her comment well enough. Gently, he adjusts her back into bed, the hem of his black wooden scarf tickling her cheek as he does so. She mutters something about propriety and regulations, but Roy ignores that as well, instead bringing a cup of water to her lips. Riza sips at it slowly. She hadn’t realised how dry her throat was; it makes her feel like she's just swallowed sandpaper. Like she’s back in the desert.

Riza mumbles a thanks when she’s done and leans back against the hard pillow, bringing a hand up to shield her eyes from the sunrays. She is so very tired. She thinks she could use another shot of morphine, possibly another day in bed, but there are bigger, more important things at hand, like —

“How did the rest of the mission go?”

“We’ve managed to sort everything out, Lieutenant,” Roy reassures, frowning at her priorities. “Don’t worry about it. Worry about yourself, first.”

“You’re being hypocritical again, sir.”

“Maybe, but we can save this argument for another time.” His tone brooks no disagreement, and before Riza can so much as protest he’s already taken the liberty of laying her back down. “For now, rest.”

“I’ve been resting for two days, sir.”

“Clearly, you haven’t had enough,” he says, smirking in a way that makes her want to pull the trigger on him. Regrettably, though, the hospital has a no-arms policy, and she finds that even the pistol that she always keeps hidden on her thigh has been removed. Riza huffs. “Since you haven’t shot me yet for putting you in bed.”

“I will soon enough,” Riza mutters, but the words sound tauntingly hollow to her ears. Her eyelids are starting to feel heavy again. She can feel herself slowly ebbing away, drifting back into a void.

“I look forward to that. And Lieutenant?”

“Yes?”

As much as she tries to fight it, being awake for the past ten minutes has taken a toll on her still-battered body, and she’s unbelievably exhausted. Being so drugged up probably doesn’t help, either.

“Do not, under any circumstances, risk your life like that for me. Ever again.”

That’s what a bodyguard is for, is what Riza wants to say, but sleep reclaims her before she can properly protest, and it’s dark again. (She thinks she’d managed to articulate a resolute no, though.)

—

The rest of the unit, along with Rebecca, visits her the next morning.

Riza manages to remain civil and courteous throughout the entirety of their fussing — which is a miracle, she thinks, when Rebecca and Havoc are sobbing like she’s actually dead. (Riza rolls her eyes and pats Rebecca on her hand when nobody’s looking, hoping the contact will provide some confirmation that she is still in fact among the living.)

Falman, Breda and Fuery are, thankfully, a lot more composed than them, although Fuery himself looks like he’s well on the verge of crying too. Riza distracts him expertly with questions about Hayate’s well-being, and he perks up immediately at the mention of her beloved pup (who’s presently under his care, because he’s the only one she can entrust Hayate with).

“Alright, alright, the Lieutenant needs her rest,” Roy announces at last, much to her relief. As much as she appreciates their concern, she does need her rest, and she will probably need an extra dose of morphine, too; Riza can feel the ache in her side starting to flare up again. “It’s time to go.”

Riza hears a chorus of get well soon, Lieutenant, mingled with a couple of tearful goodbyes. (Rebecca mumbles something about Roy being a selfish prick who’s kidnapping Riza for himself and warns Riza against Stockholm syndrome. Riza rolls her eyes and tells Rebecca to stay away from shitty soap operas.)

Riza waves at them as Roy ushers them out. When the room is empty again, he turns his undivided focus back to her, and asks, “Are you feeling alright, Lieutenant?”

“I’m fine,” Riza insists, although her mind is already devising a way to ask for morphine without him noticing. She’s sure that he’ll kick up a fuss if he realises that she’s in pain; the last thing she needs is him moping around day and night like a kicked puppy.

Slowly, like she’s testing the waters, Riza eases herself up - with some uninvited assistance from her commanding officer - and breathes heavily, resting her head on the pillow. She notes the weird contraption around her waist and stifles a childish groan. The fact that it’s still there means that she’ll probably be wheelchair-bound for a while, but she’s already starting to feel restless from being stuck in bed for so long. (Riza wonders if this was how Roy had felt, when he had been hospitalised after his affray with Lust. She thinks she can better empathise with his decision to recklessly discharge himself now.)

“Are you hungry?” Roy asks suddenly. Riza shakes her head, but he continues anyway. “I made chicken soup.”

Riza watches, somewhat nonplussed as he extracts a thermal flask from an insulated bag and sets everything up on the overbed table. The sudden role reversal discomfits her a little. Riza feels strangely out of her element, being cared for like this (when it’s normally the other way round).

“Thank you, sir,” she says, both embarrassed and touched by his concern. “You didn’t have to trouble yourself —”

“It’s no trouble at all, Lieutenant,” he interjects gently, smiling.

Riza shrugs and sips at the homemade soup wordlessly. The warm liquid glides down her throat easily enough, and she lets out a hum of approval, pleasantly surprised by the sudden display of culinary talent from her commanding officer.

“This is really good, by the way. Since when did you learn how to make such good chicken soup?”

“Since ten tries and a burnt kitchen.”

Riza almost sputters. “What?”

“Just kidding. I’m not that bad of a cook,” he says, grinning as he ladles out a bowl for himself.  Riza stares at him disbelievingly. Burning down a kitchen is not something altogether impossible for him, considering his track record of culinary mishaps. “Really, Lieutenant. Give me some credit. I’ve improved quite a fair bit since my days as a teenage boy.”

“Well, this proves it, for sure,” she says, and his grin widens.

“I’m glad you like it.”

Riza offers a small smile of her own in return.

“I do, thank you.”

They eat in companionable silence. Riza is relieved to note that his mood has improved somewhat. since the last time she’d been awake. She might’ve been too drugged up to fully comprehend her surroundings previously, but she had been conscious enough to note the anger and frustration, the worry in his tone when he’d reprimanded her for her recklessness. And it’s easy to understand why was mad; he’s always had a peculiar habit of putting his subordinates above his own well-being.

Still, Riza doesn’t think she’s done anything wrong. She’s simply doing her job, and he’s simply being overprotective. She is his bodyguard, after all, and that itself entails sacrifice where necessary. And she would do it, in the blink of an eye, if it means keeping him out of harm’s way.

But Riza also knows him well enough to know when to back down from a losing argument, and so she simply pretends that conversation never happened. She’s satisfied with the way things are between them — for now, at least.

Above all, she’s just relieved to see that he’s safe.

—

Later in the afternoon, a nurse comes in to check on Riza.

“How are you feeling today?”

“Better,” she says, even as the growing ache in her side threatens to expose her lie. Roy looks at her, unconvinced, and Riza feels a sudden, uncharacteristic impulse to give the nurse a hug when she ushers Roy out for privacy reasons. She’s not really the hugging sort, but this nurse - Jade, Riza notes, from the little white name tag hanging from her breast pocket - definitely deserves one. “When can I be discharged?”

“Not so soon, my dear.” Jade clucks her tongue, as if disappointed that Riza had even asked such a thing. “We’ll have to keep you around for at least a week more, but you should be able to start physiotherapy in a couple of weeks.”

Riza visibly cringes when she hears this. Two weeks is a long time to be hospitalised, and she’ll probably be out of commission for a while at this rate — especially if physiotherapy is involved. (Throw in an overprotective boss in the mix, and she’s basically done for.)

“Is it possible for us to start physio earlier?”

“No such luck, sweetie,” and Riza cringes again, this time at the term of endearment. She’s always been a little uncomfortable around nurses like these, simply because the military doctors are usually the stoic, no-nonsense with no time for coddling.

(Between the two, though, she’s not sure which she prefers, but Riza decides she just hates hospitals in general. The rooms are stifling and smell like a mortician’s lab, even though it’s a place that is technically supposed to keep her alive and nurse her back to health.)

“I’ll be fine. Really, I’m feeling much better already.”

Jade sighs, the disapproval apparent on her pretty face. “Have you even tried walking yet?”

“No, but -”

“Good, you shouldn’t. You’ll have to use a wheelchair for a few days, before switching to a walking frame.”

“I’m sorry?”

“You heard me,” Jade confirms, sounding a little more apologetic this time. “I would strongly advise against trying — unless you want to risk worsening your injury, you’re better off staying in bed.”

Riza frowns, very much displeased with her current predicament. As she’d predicted, she is, in fact, wheelchair-bound, but she hadn’t thought that she would have to rely on a walking frame, too. She’s never had to rely on one before — not since she was first trying to learn how to skate on the rink that one winter as a girl of ten.

“I’m sorry,” Jade says, patting her on the hand sympathetically. “I’m sure you’ll get better soon, with time and rest.”

Riza shrugs, feigning nonchalance. She’s irritated at the situation, but there's really not much she can do right now other than rest. Besides, her commanding officer will find a way to keep her here somehow even if she tries to escape.

“Alright. Thank you.”

“You’re welcome. Now, do you need anything else? More painkillers, perhaps?”

Riza nods grimly. She turns away as the nurse administers another dose of morphine, and adjusts herself on the pillows in helpless resignation as she waits for it to take effect.

“Take good care of her. She’s a stubborn one.”

Riza hears these words faintly, through the charged, cottony silence filling her drug-addled mind. She tries to protest, but the words seem to come out like garbled nonsense, and the last thing she hears before falling back into unconsciousness is something that both irks and warms her heart immensely.

“I will.”

—

Riza begins her first physiotherapy session exactly a week later.

By some stroke of luck, she’d managed to bring it forward, after proving to the doctors that she had, in fact, made a rather speedy recovery — even if said recovery meant that she was still mostly stuck to a wheelchair. Her commanding officer hadn’t been too pleased, of course, but it was still worth being able to get out of her room and get up on her own two feet.

That doesn’t mean it’s easy, though. Recovery is an agonisingly slow, painful process. Riza finds herself trembling, just from supporting herself with a walking frame. It feels like someone is repeatedly stabbing her at her side, and she has to pause every now and then just to catch her breath.

Riza grimaces. She hasn’t felt this winded since the last time she’d had an awful case of bronchitis. Her legs are like jelly, and there’s a sheen of sweat that’s starting to stick to her fringe from all the heaving and wincing she’s been doing the past five minutes.

Still, Riza forces herself to keep going. She’s had worse, anyway, and this is nothing compared to the survival camps she’d endured back in the academy.

(It’s also nothing compared to what Havoc is going through.)

“Now try to put your left foot forward, Miss Hawkeye,” the physiotherapist says, and Riza follows suit, thinking of her friend as she takes her first steps. “Very good, now slowly, with the other foot.”

Riza continues as instructed, even as a fresh jolt of pain shoots through her side. Riza grits her teeth and staggers forward. She has to do this. She has to get better soon for the unit, for him. It’s bad enough that he’s already missing one subordinate, and she would rather die trying than be a liability.

(The thought of being an additional burden on his already worn shoulders is simply unbearable.)

—

“How did your first session go?” Roy asks later that evening, when he comes around to visit her. It’s already way past visiting hours, but Riza doesn’t need to ask to know that he’s probably charmed some poor, ingenuous nurse into breaking the rules and letting him in.

“Fine.”

Roy frowns. “I still think you should have waited for a bit longer before —”

“I’m fine,” Riza insists. The exhaustion is beginning to creep up on her, and she doesn’t think she can sustain much of a conversation - much less an argument - today. Riza notes the dark rings under his eyes and immediately softens. Guilt creeps into an overworked system, urging her towards a feeble attempt at reassurance. “I promise, sir. Don’t worry about me.”

Roy stares at her meaningfully, and then sighs as if to say, you know that’s an impossible request. He offers a wry smile.

“Alright,” he says, making himself comfortable on her bedside stool. He folds his arms across his chest and yawns, joking about increased paperwork and reduced efficiency in his absence, but Riza can tell that he’s still in a sombre mood; she doesn’t need to ask to know that he’s been beating himself up over her current situation.

Riza knows, however, that it’s not something that he’s particularly keen on discussing, and so she plays along with a teasing shrug.

“I hope you’re not slacking off, sir.”

“Oh, you know me. I wouldn’t dare.”

“I’ve known you long enough to know about your atrocious work ethic, sir.”

He laughs. “I’ll work on that, Lieutenant.”

“Good.”

—

Roy continues visiting her the following evenings, after her physiotherapy sessions. He’d insisted on tagging along at first, but Riza had convinced him that it was better for her to do them alone. It’s bad enough that the nurses are starting to think that there’s something more than a strictly professional relationship between them.

Besides, he’d made a promise to not skive off at work. That had been enough to get him off her back in the afternoons, but not enough, apparently, to prevent him from breaking in and visiting her at night.

“You don’t have to come every day, sir,” Riza says, because she knows he’s been basically shuttling between her and Havoc. The fatigue is obvious on his face; his complexion is paler than usual, taking on an almost sickly tone, and the rings under his eyes are starting to become almost bruise-like.

“Nonsense,” he scoffs. Riza rolls her eyes, because he’stalking nonsense. “I’m fine.”

“You look tired.”

“Is that meant to be a jibe at my appearance?”

“Yes,” she deadpans, pointing at the stubbles on his chin. “You haven’t even shaved today.”

Roy waves a dismissive hand as he carefully pours out her favourite congee into a bowl. “I still managed to charm my way in, so I’m sure I’m still as good looking as ever.”

“With all due respect, sir, you’re not.”

“Really, now, don’t be insubordinate —”

“I’m serious, sir.”

Roy regards her with abject horror, and heads to the bathroom to fix his stubbles while she slowly savours the steaming bowl of congee that he’s left on the table. Roy leaves an hour later, and at first Riza thinks he’ll take a hint and take the day off tomorrow, but he shows up the following evening, anyway, remarkably clean-shaven this time.

—

As much as Riza knows that her expectations are unrealistic, it’s disheartening to see that she’s still having trouble walking. It’s been nearly two weeks since surgery, and she’s received feedback that she’s making tremendous progress in physiotherapy, but it’s still too slow. She’s still not discharged. She’s still not allowed back at work, she’s still mostly confined to bed, and —

And she’s still useless.

She hates it, of course, but there’s really not much she can do right now. She can’t return to work without her commanding officer filing a restraining order of some sort, and she can’t discharge herself without an entire army of hospital staff hot on her tails.

She can, however, get past the nurses who are a little too preoccupied with the rumour mill. And so she does. Riza wheels herself furtively into a lift without attracting attention, and, having brought along her inconvenience of a walking frame, takes her rehabilitation into her own hands. She ventures out into the hospital garden, clumsily pushing herself towards standing. The floor is cold and the air tastes salty, but it’s the most alive she’s felt in ages. Her first step is shaky, and so is the next, but she is walking without supervision. Taking baby steps.

Riza smiles, even as her arms tremble from having to hold up her entire weight. She soldiers on anyway, persisting in her hobbling. It’s a strangely liberating feeling to walk by herself after weeks of enduring multiple sets of watchful, paranoid eyes.

But maybe she’s overestimated herself. The ache in her side returns with a vengeance, without warning, causing her to pause in her tracks.

Riza leans against the railings, gasping for breath. She presses a hand to her side as another wave of pain strikes. She’s a far cry from her usual athleticism, now. She doubts she’ll be able to ace the annual military fitness test this year like she normally does (she’s never fallen below the gold standard since graduating from the academy).

“Hawkeye!”

Riza stumbles when she hears her name. She only just manages to latch onto a nearby railing, but her limbs seem hellbent on giving way. She braces herself for the impact, expecting to fall flat on her face, but a hand reaches out to steady her from behind just before she crashes to the floor.

A little more than relieved, Riza exhales shakily and clutches onto her walking frame, with both hands this time.

“Hawkeye,” she hears again, and she knows instantly that she’s in for an (unnecessary) lecture.

“Sir,” she heaves. “I’m alright. Sorry for the scare.”

“What are you doing here by yourself?” Roy exclaims, and she shushes him with a displeased glare.

“Keep it down, please. We’re in a hospital.”

“Exactly,” he huffs, his voice taking on a reprimanding tone. “You shouldn’t be out and running about by yourself. Where are those nurses, anyway? Why isn’t anyone keeping you company? What if —”

“Sir,” Riza stresses, her irritation seeping through. The last thing she needs right now is to be treated like a helpless child. What she needs, actually, is some affirmation that she’s still a valuable asset to the team. Still useful. “I’m fine. You worry too much.”

“You’re not helping with that, Lieutenant.”

“The last I recalled, you were running around with a similar injury.”

“Yes, but I was an idiot, and you’re not.”

Riza smiles. “I can’t say you’re wrong there.”

“Anyway,” he continues, clearing his throat as if to regain some of his lost dignity. “You were nearly caught in an explosion, and then shot by a bullet. That’s far worse than getting impaled in the gut.”

“When you put it like that, I’m not too sure which is worse, sir,” Riza says. As much as she appreciates his concern, the double standard is beginning to grate on her nerves; she thinks he should at least be grateful she hasn’t broken out of the hospital by sheer force yet.

Roy huffs. “Stubborn as always, aren’t you?”

To that, Riza simply shrugs. She leans back against a nearby vending machine, enjoying the fresh air and dim lights for a bit before being forced to go back.

Roy regards her with a meaningful look like he’s debating whether to scold her or something else. Something she doesn’t want to expressly acknowledge. Not yet, at least — not during this crucial period of their lives that could very well dictate how the rest of it will go.

(But this is how it’s always been, Riza thinks. They’ve never needed words to convey the unutterable. In many ways, their actions have always spoken louder than its verbal counterparts, and it’s probably best for them to keep it this way, to suppress the felonious sentiments that they’ve already kept so closely guarded for years.)

“Put your feet on top of mine, Hawkeye.”

“Sir?”

“Just do it. You’re not that heavy,” he says, gently pulling her forward so that she no longer has the vending machine for support. Something nudges at her toes, and Riza raises a brow, as if to question whether he’s genuinely serious about this. “Go on.”

“You could end up with two broken feet, sir —”

“In which case I’ll get an extended leave from work, so really, that’s a win-win.”

“Seems like you’ve given this a lot of thought,” Riza says. She laughs quietly at his antics, and she doesn’t need to look at him to know that he’s smirking triumphantly, like he’s just bested her in a game of chess.

“Of course I have. Now get on, it’s better than walking around like you’re fully recovered.”

And because she knows better than to fight a losing argument, Riza just does as she’s told.

Gingerly, she puts her feet on top of his, mindful to not fracture anything. Roy pulls her close to him, wrapping his arms around her torso — whether to prevent falling, or to embrace her, she’s not sure, but she doesn’t mind, not really. Being shackled to a hospital bed for two weeks is enough to make her crave and cave into human contact.

“This feels an awful lot like we’re dancing, sir.”

“Again, a win-win.”

She rolls her eyes. “How very opportunistic of you.”

Laughter rumbles from his chest, genuine and unbridled.

“You know me. I would never pass up on an opportunity to dance with my favourite subordinate.”

“I’ll be sure to relay your message to Havoc, sir.”

“Thank you,” he says, and Riza bites back a laugh at the obvious sarcasm. “Alright, now just follow my lead. Move your left foot back.”

She does as she’s told, again. Roy repeats his instructions for the other foot, and the cycle repeats, until they’re trudging around in small circles. It’s like graceless dancing, Riza thinks, observing him silently as he frowns from concentrating so intensely on their every step. It’s just like when he’d first tried to teach her how to dance. (Dancing around campfires during the pumpkin harvest had never really been her thing - in part because it involved copious amounts of socialising and talking, and in part because she was born with two left feet - but it had been Roy’s, evidently. She hadn’t the heart to rain on his parade, and so had reluctantly obliged when he’d asked her to dance.)

“What’s so funny?”

“Nothing, sir.”

His frown deepens, and he stops moving for a moment.

“Are you tired?”

“I’m alright, sir.”

“You always say that,” he murmurs. “But I don’t want you to overdo it. Let’s get you back.”

Riza sighs resignedly. She is starting to feel exhausted, but there’s a part of her that doesn’t want this shared, private moment to end, either. She’s been enjoying it more than she should. More than she would ever admit.

“Alright,” she says, but Roy surprises her and pulls her in for a hug.

“I just wanted you to know that you’re not useless, Riza. Not at all.”

Her throat runs dry.

“Sir?”

“I know you’ve probably been feeling that way,” he continues, running a hand through her hair, now limp and sickeningly dry from all the time spent away from sunshine and conditioner. “Which is why you’ve been pushing yourself so hard. But I promise you you’re not. You could never be.”

Riza chews on her bottom lip contemplatively. She wants to ask how he’d read her mind, but there’s no point asking questions that she already knows the answers to. They’ve known each other for a long time, after all (she knows he must’ve been thinking the same thing during his earlier convalescence, too).

“I - thank you, sir.”

Roy nods, his chin tickling the top of her head.

“Besides, that word is meant for me, not for you.”

Riza laughs, but it comes out muffled as he continues stroking the back of her head.

“Your level of self-awareness today is off the charts.”

“I know,” he smirks. “Shall we?”

She nods, and Roy guides her back into her wheelchair. Their extensive experience with covert operations is particularly handy during a time like this; Roy manages to somehow evade all of the staff on duty and successfully wheels her back into her room without arousing suspicion.

Riza is so enervated that she practically sinks into the mattress without protest, even as Roy helps her in. She eyes him as he makes himself comfortable - as comfortable as one can be - in the old, lumpy chair beside her.

“Sir,” she croaks out. Riza clears her throat and tries again. “Sir.”

“Yes?”

Riza shifts a little to make space. She’s thankful that it’s already evening; she’s pretty sure she’s blushing by now, because she’s never been so bold, so forward before. (He’s usually the one taking initiative when it comes to things like this, but the unhealthy pallor in his skin is enough for her to make an exception.)

“You should rest, too.”

“I am, Hawkeye.”

She shifts a little more to the side. He gets the hint.

“Well, since you’re asking so nicely —”

“I'm not asking.”

Roy laughs, but he slides in any way, military regulations and meddlesome nurses be damned. They’ll be fine, Riza thinks; the nurses aren’t known to be particularly alert past midnight. Besides, Roy is probably sensible enough to get out before dawn, and if he’s not, he’ll probably charm or bribe his way out somehow. She’s not normally so cavalier about breaking the rules, but Roy deserves a night of proper rest, at least. It’s the least she can do after all he’s done for her.

“If you say so.”

“I didn’t,” Riza insists, stifling a yawn. She’s so tired that she thinks she might fall asleep while talking. “Get some rest, sir.”

“You too, Hawkeye,” he says, yawning as he pulls the miserable excuse of a blanket over them both. “Sleep well.”

Riza feels the ghost of a kiss on her temple, before her world becomes blissfully dark.

[n7punk]

All She Gives (Not Enough) Fic Notes #1: Chapter Notes

ASGNE is finally done! I’ve had this fic in my head for so long, it feels amazing to finally be done with it lol.

I am separating out the timeline into it’s own post like I did where I shared it for Act I of SLAS, but everything else is in this post.

Epilogue life:

Catra & Adora: Catra and Adora slip into a “real” relationship very quickly (because nothing actually changed lol). Catra focuses on changing the world like she always wanted to, graduates with her J.D. that May, and then completes her M.D. over the next year. She passes the bar on her first attempt and works for a nonprofit. She goes on to become a reputable lawyer.

Catra actually ends up making a higher salary than Adora does, Adora just has enough money invested that it is making more than her salary. Until then, however, Catra stands by her “no gifts” policy - in a way. Adora is allowed to get her flowers - and later, food/treats - and spend money on things for both of them (AKA joint spa treatments, dinner together, tickets to shows, that kind of thing). Aside from that - and the restocking of essentials like consumable products, food, etc, which Frosta does for them - Adora isn’t allowed to buy her something unless she asks for it, like when she finds she needs new clothes or something. After Catra has a job, she lets the rule go and occasionally even buys Adora presents herself, but she tells Adora not to get too wild with it.

Proposal: They get engaged in June a year and a half later, after Catra has graduated with her M.D. and is waiting to take the bar (There are usually two test dates each year). Catra comes home from studying with a group of fellow classmates also planning to take the test to find rose petals everyway. Like the amount of rose petals Adora bought is insane. There is soft, romantic music playing quietly in every room with a device to play it, along with candles. A trail of notes leads Catra up to the conservatory, which has a small kitchen where Adora has prepared a meal, and she has a table for two set up on the adjoining terrace. She has decorated with electric candles (so the wind wouldn’t blow them out, she literally bought 200 of them for this and Frosta has had them taking over her living room for two weeks while Adora waited for this day), a few flower arrangements, fairy lights (those are actually up year-round, but she turned them on), and she has a speaker set up playing a mix tape of romantic songs, with Anyone Else interspersed in the mix.

Catra immediately knows what Adora is doing because how could she fucking not. Adora plays all innocent when Catra teases her asking what this is all about and insists she just wanted to have a nice dinner together. They have dinner, and then Adora has this whole plan of asking Catra to slow dance with her afterwards and proposing then, but she gets too excited and gets down on her knee before they even finish eating.

Adora’s hands are shaking from excitement and she drops the ring halfway through giving Catra her speech about how stupidly in love she is. It derails her, she scrambles for it, and Catra picks it up and puts it on her own finger, blushing and staring at it with her ears twitching because she knew, but it still takes her breath away to see it. And then Adora gets pouty and protests that “I’m supposed to do that!” so Catra, still kinda speechless, holds out her hand. Adora lights up, slips the ring off, kisses her hand and tells her she loves her, and then puts the ring back on her finger.

They kiss, and cry, and it takes them a whole fifteen minutes to realize Adora never even got to the part of her speech where she actually asks Catra to marry her, but obviously her answer is yes. Catra teases her about what an eager mess she was to propose for approximately ever, but she starts blushing herself any time she thinks about that night.

Gathering up all the candles and rose petals is a pain, but Adora does turn on the ceiling fan in the living room and then the conservatory to watch Catra scramble after the petals kicked up by the breeze (the path of petals, candles, and notes went from the foyer to the stairs, up all three flights, and into the conservatory).

Catra’s escort work: it’s mostly not brought up again. After a year of tentative friendship, Catra finally feels comfortable enough with Mermista to ask her what is up. Mermista tells her that she obviously knows, but why would she give a fuck. Catra asks her not to ever tell anyone (“Tch. Obviously”) and asks Sea Hawk about it. Sea Hawk says he has no idea what she’s talking about. He does, but Catra takes it as the “I’m keeping my mouth shut” that it is.

At their bachleorette party - she and Adora get a fancy suite in Vegas and the whole group has a big getaway - Glimmer finally asks how they really met, because Adora was very dodgy with the question when she was first telling them things, and when most people ask they tell them “Oh we bumped into each other again in SOHO” despite their friends knowing that isn’t true.

Adora is immediately like “no”, but Catra just sighs. They are all up in the suite at that point, and so in privacy. Catra chooses to word it as “I was a minder for clients at events. Keep them from getting too drunk, or making fools of themselves, or just help fend off people who might try to talk to them. I met Adora again at a charity event. Mermista hired me to school Sea Hawk without knowing who I was. I had to put up with a lot of sexual harrassment.”

Sure, there is more to it, but that isn’t anyone else’s business. The group accepts it, and then Catra begins absolutely roasting Adora for being too awkward to just ask her out and asking her to be her sugar baby at first instead. Only Glimmer and Bow knew that - the rest thought they were genuinely dating the whole time - so everybody starts tearing Adora apart and they all have a good laugh about it.

Glimmer & Bow: Glimmer and Bow get married the spring before Catra and Adora get engaged, after Angella’s term is up and she has returned to her old profession (businesswoman). Adora is Glimmer’s maid of honour while one of Bow’s brother is his best man (their family has a complicated flowchart for best man where they basically all go round robin at each other’s weddings).

Sea Hawk & Mermista: Though they continue to be on-again-off-again for a few years, they get married in their thirties. Both of them continue to be actors for years, although Sea Hawk “leaves” stuntman works in his late 40s when his age (and many, many accidents) starts to catch up with him, though he still takes very active roles and occasionally performs stunts for his films. Mermista continues to act until she is 80 and becomes a bit of a legend. She never loses her bitchiness and her fans love her for it.

Perfuma & Scorpia: They never met in fic and I don’t know if I actually said what she does, but Perfuma is a “wellness” coach, especially for elite clientele. In practicality, she is a therapist (she has a degree in psychology) and a yoga/pilates instructor. However, there isn’t the same stigma around a wellness coach as there is around therapy, at least not in high class circles, so she is able to legitimately help people who wouldn’t get help otherwise. Her practice was located on a large residential lot with “mindfulness” gardens where she also lived, but Perfuma decided to move to the west coast to serve celebrity clientele a few years after the fic. She didn’t know anyone on the West coast aside from Seamista and some clients, so Catra gave her Scorpia’s contact information since they had met at Catra and Adora’s wedding (Scorpia was Catra’s maid of honor) and got on well (Perfuma was in the bridal party and not-so-secretly thirsting the whole time). Scorpia’s parents live in San Francisco and Scorpia moved not too far from LA after graduating to be closer to her parents. She and Perfuma, of course, hit it off and started dating after a few months.

Songs for this AU:

Early on: Taylor Swift - right where you left me, Molly Kate Kestner - Prom Queen, The Chainsmokers - You Owe Me, Selena Gomez – She, MUNA - Number One Fan, FLETCHER - About You, Cyn – Alright. The sugar daddy portion of the playlist: Britney Spears - Work B**ch, David Guetta & Afrojack ft Charli XCX & French Montana - Dirty Sexy Money, Jaymes Young - Don't You Know, Marian Hill - Got It, Dua Lipa - Pretty Please, DeathbyRomy - Fiending For A Lover, Zara Larsson – WOW, Elohim - I Want You, Little Mix - Woman Like Me ft. Nicki Minaj. Emotions Zone: Taylor Swift - Superstar (Taylor's Version), Tove Lo – Stay Over, L Devine - Like You Like That, and of course: PVRIS - Anyone Else.

Chapter 1: The Proposal

I began drafting this fic on November 12th last year (For some reason I usually start outlining new fics on the 12th of a month??? I don’t know what it is). It was supposed to be my “next AU” for like three fics in a row, but it kept getting bumped.

Rule number one of hiring an escort is “don’t touch the merchandise”.

In the original draft of this chapter, Swift Wind was Adora’s driver (Swiftie, a satyr) and Lonnie was Adora’s bodyguard. I then realized, wait a fucking minute, I made Lonnie Catra’s roommate also and she’s a bit young to have been Adora’s bodyguard for years, so I changed it to the more logical Huntara. For Adora’s driver, I went back and forth a little, but seeing as I love Frosta and rarely get to play with her in AUs due to the age difference, it had to be her.

I mention DT as a client in this chapter and then never again. Basically, DT was one of Catra’s early clients and actually got her in touch with the database that had more elite clientele so she didn’t have to scrape by (it was hard to find work with Catra’s limited number of services). Catra is grateful to them, but she doesn’t like the kind of things DT takes her to, they’re a pretty handsy client, and because they’re always accompanied by an escort, everybody knows what she is the instant they glance at her (hence later spawning rule number two). As such, she accepts their bookings occasionally, expecially when she needs the money, but often turned them down by the start of the fic. DT finds it funny, so they keep coming back, but they would occasionally bring up how much she owes her current clientbase/job to them.

Chapter 2: The Arrangement

What Entrapta actually does is pull as much info as she can about who has visited Catra’s website, then remove any references to it that she can from the web, then have it taken down, and then work on handing out viruses to the people who have visited her site to remove any data that might reference it from their computers. Seeing as it was a small site with only a few visitors, that effectively removes it from the internet, although if someone had screenshotted it or something, they could upload those screenshots as “proof” it existed, but that wasn’t true in this case.

Chapter 3: New Territory

The “enormity of her desire” line in the make out scene is a reference to Pride & Prejudice, because I am like that.

I’ve mentioned it in a author’s note, but I wrote this fic with the explicit intent that Adora was autistic, and you can especially see that in the make out scene.

In a similar vein, Glimmer is ADHD, as she is in 100% of my modern AUs. Another thing you can see in this chapter with her reactions to finding out about Catra.

Adora told Glimmer and Bow about Hope’s proposal when she made it, so when they demanded to know how she asked Catra out she was like “So you know Hope’s proposal…” and they were like “Adora you Didn’t” and Adora was like “She had a terrible job, and the pay was so inconsistent, she didn’t know if she could even get her Masters! It just makes sense.” Shockingly, Glimmer and Bow didn’t agree.

Adora did make eight post-it notes, but she drew a kissy face on one, something she used to do “as a joke” on the notes they passed back and forth in high school, and then she panicked about it being too much given the arrangement. She crumpled it up and threw it away, not thinking about the fact that it brought the total number down to seven.

Chapter 4: Meet the Parent (slash Manager)

There were times when they were teenagers when Adora thought Catra was just moody/irritated but actually her tail was lashing because her best friend was hot and it was killing Catra.

Adora’s shirt was actually for Sharknado, but this is good too.

Shadow heard Adora promising to call Catra and immediately went “No, she will be much better off without Catra” and came up with the plan to say Catra had fallen into trouble with the law and been sent to a home for troubled kids that night. As far as Shadow is concerned, she did the best thing for Adora and her career.

Hope did bring the NDA, intending to ask to speak to Catra in private at the end of the dinner and have her sign it then. If she had just done that without bringing it up to Adora first, Catra would have agreed, thinking it just made sense as a measure legally. However, once she knew Adora was uncomfortable with it, she never would have signed it.

Hope changed her mind over the course of the dinner. She realized three things: 1) Adora feels a shit ton for Catra, way more than she has ever said, 2) Catra clearly cares for Adora (and doesn’t like Hope by extension, though plenty of people have disliked Hope in business and she isn’t really bothered by it anymore), and 3) this is going to be a quite long-term thing. She realized this before she made her suggestion to continue this on post-graduation, which is part of why she said that. She was legitimately thinking about “Okay, this is Adora’s friend/maybe lover, I know what she wants, here is the way to get that”, which lead to her suggestion. Hope is extremely pragmatic like that – hence her suggesting the entire arrangement in the first place, thinking it would be fake and for the cameras.

Chapter 5: Weekend Getaway

The cufflinks with diamonds on them were called “Infinity Gold Cufflinks” on the website, with the diamonds set beside each other meant to emulate the loops of the infinity symbol, but Adora thought of it more as representing the two of them.

Adora tried to convince Hope to send her to school instead of continuing with music without saying “all I want is to quit forever and become a hermit with my ex-best friend I can’t find.” Which is to say, she said it cautiously and not like it was her number one priority. Basically, Adora said that a career in music wouldn’t last forever because popstars are disposable, so shouldn’t she take a break to go to school, get educated, and then pick it back up after? It would give her a backup for when her sales inevitably went down. Hope told her that’s not how it works. She would fade from the public consciousness and her sales would flop when she returned. So that, combined with the contract that Adora was too afraid not to sign - despite the fact that Hope would have been fine with it if she said no - meant Adora gave up and stayed in music for two more years. At that point, Hope was catching on to how Adora had been putting on a brave face for years, so she asked Adora to point-blank be honest with her if she wanted to renew her contract. After years and years of trying to hide it, Adora broke down and sobbed out a No.

The reason Lonnie asked if Catra was alright is that she had figured Catra was a sugar baby or something like a year ago but had never actually seen anything aside from gifts and fancy clothes, so she was shocked to see someone else in the dorm and was worried the maybe Catra was being pressured, considering she had clearly had a rule against involving her sugar daddy/daddies with her personal life thus far.

Frosta was absolutely sitting in the car like are you fucking kidding me. Are y’all really- It’s been ten minutes. You CANNOT be having sex while I’m waiting here.

Chapter 6: The Resort

Perfuma had bottom surgery just a few weeks before the getaway, so she went into it knowing she couldn’t do any of the water-based stuff (she wasn’t taking a risk on getting anything in her wounds), but there was still plenty for her to do, and she wanted to hang out with her friends. It isn’t really brought up because Perfuma is a lot quieter about being trans than Bow is. Bow, in general, is “I’m finally comfortable with myself and I’m going to be proud of it” kind of person with it, whereas Perfuma is on the other end of the spectrum and just enjoys passing and living her life. The main group is aware she is trans, but Catra doesn’t find out for a few months more.

Perfuma and Bow went to high school together. Perfuma was prom king and Bow was prom queen. The way Catra finds out Perfuma is trans is by them joking together that they swapped crowns (this is their favourite inside joke, and Catra had heard them make it in the past, but this time they finally explained it). Bow and Perfuma both knew who they were at that point, but they weren’t out to their high schools in general, just a few friends. Bow started T his senior year of high school and Perfuma started HRT a year later. She never got top surgery because she didn’t feel a need for it after HRT. It let her put all her savings towards bottom surgery.

Glimmer was honestly trying to be like “Don’t worry, I know my place, but also Adora is important to me too” when she introduced herself as Adora’s best friend pre-Catra, but Catra was gearing for a fight so she found one in her words.

Adora would cry when they were separated because she just felt calmer with Catra around, but especially because she would get sensory overwhelmed and Catra helped by replacing everything with softness. Adora would bury her face in Catra’s mane, blocking out the light and just feeling softness against her. The only thing Catra couldn’t help with really was sound, but when they got a little older she realized that was a problem for Adora, and so she would cover her ears too.

The “bonded pair” phrase is one that might be familiar to people who have adopted pets. The shelter I used to volunteer at would sometimes restrict adoption of two cats or dogs so you could only adopt them together if they had formed a pack bond. I’ve also seen a dog and cat bonded pair available for adoption elsewhere before. Hybrid children, especially orphaned ones, also show this tendency to pack bond and thus can be determined to be “bonded pairs” by social services, only available for adoption together, though this is mostly used for siblings/littermates. Catra’s bonded partner was human, and honestly the bond was just as important for Adora as it was for Catra, but because there was a hybrid in the pair, their social worker could get them paired together, well aware how bad off Adora would be on her own.

Gunmetal is a reference to my other celebrity!Adora fic (yes, I have more than one), drawn into the music (Wait until the end of the notes for more on that). Catra was an actress in Gunmetal alongside Sea Hawk in that fic.

Back when I used Chrome, yes it was really a thing on the mobile version that if you opened enough tabs the counter would turn into a smiley emoticon. I am someone who keeps only a few tabs open as a rule, but I was looking at Procreate brushes.

I got an ask about how “out” Bow is, and it kind of comes up here again so I’ll say: Bow is out to his friends and family (although most knew him before he started transitioning, so he kind of Has to be), and he is out on things like his private social media, owning trans and bi pride gear and stuff (although he’s more comfortable wearing the bi pride things). At the pool, Catra saw his top surgery scars but didn’t think it was Noteworthy considering she already knew he was trans. If Adora hadn’t told her already, she would have noticed them then and realized. Bow isn’t hiding who he is, and in fact he and Glimmer were kind of publicly dating – until Adora got outed. They saw how rough it was on her, and Bow came to fear having to see his deadname printed or being referred to as “she” since he was just starting to pass well at that point. He and Glimmer decided not to “hide” their relationship, but they’re quiet about it at events and such, and don’t post coupley shit on their social media. Once Angella is out of office, they’ll get engaged, and they’ll be married soon after. There will still be more scrutiny on Angella than most as an ex-mayor, but at that point she won’t have political enemies looking for something to take her down or be worth anything in the tabloids, so it would be kind of ridiculous for a tabloid to waste space printing that her daughter is dating a trans man.

BubblePOP is, once again, a reference to DITM.

CW: Sexual assault/Sexual harassment: Catra has quite a bit of sexual trauma in this AU from her job, due to the nature of it meaning accepting a certain level of sexual harassment for money. I mention her clawing a client once who tried to push her too far, and I avoid getting too explicit on this in the text, but basically Catra assumed she would eventually “break” and end up having sex with a female client for the right price. She also feared a client might try to rape her, but she was pretty confident in her ability to fend them off thanks to her claws. When it came time for her and Adora to have sex, she could have been okay with either one of them “going first”, but she realized she would be the most comfortable with her taking care of Adora first to cross that metal hurdle of her “first time”, and then she could be totally comfortable letting Adora take care of her. Hence, the “Can I take care of you?” scene where she establishes what she would like out of sex and Adora responds so they are both on the same page and comfortable, helping to guarantee a good first time for them both.

The resort is based on three things: mountain resorts in Colorado, a real Japanese spa/onsen “theme park” in the mountains named Yunessun, and the sixth level in Hitman (just Hitman), set in a fictional resort in Hokkaido.

The resort has a backstory that I never got into? Mostly because it never came up, but here it is basically: the resort was elven-owned and operated for over a hundred years. It served elves and humans – two races fairly indistinguishable when it comes to skin/hair/beauty care and products. Everything they had worked for both races. The resort was never segregated – any race could book services there – but they were very upfront about the fact that their services were only geared towards elves/humans. As time went on, however, they found rich humans/elves would want to bring along friends, lovers, etc of different races, and these tagalongs had nothing to do and felt alienated.

As a result, humans with hybrid lovers wouldn’t come as frequently or at all because if they did come they would have to leave their partner at home. The true impotence was that feline and canidae mistresses were, essentially, a fad amongst the New York elite around the turn of the century. As a result, the resort expanded its services to include offerings specifically geared at magicats, lycans, and vulpes, and especially made an effort to integrate these services right alongside their human/elven services so rich humans could bring their lovers and stay with them throughout the experience.

This was extremely successful, and also touted as a move towards diversity despite being 100% profit-focused. To this day, the resort doesn’t offer any services geared towards lizardfolk, finfolk, orcs (they have different hair and skin than humans/elves), or a number of fae. Part of this is because they have never been as popular among their clientele as tagalongs, and those of them who were rich themselves obviously weren’t coming to a resort with no services for them. The rest of the reason is all those races require highly specialized treatments (lizardfolk and finfolk especially). The feline and canidae hybrids use almost the exact same treatments, just with different products to match the differences in their fur/hair. Basically, the resort could add three major races to their client-base while only making the effort to add one.

Chapter 7: Sunday

Adora got the Yale shirt from Glimmer. Glimmer knew how badly Adora wanted to go to college (though it had nothing to do with college itself) and so she got her the shirt and was like look! You can rep me! (and feel like a college student when you wear it but I’m not going to say that!)

Adora backing Catra against the cabinets is actually a reference (?) to an earlier draft of the fic, where the arrangement was a lot more superficial. Okay, really I just reused it because I thought it was cute, but basically Adora ended up backing Catra against the cabinets to kiss her “for practice” even though it was 100% just because she wanted to.

I put so much effort into the photo of Adora’s statement, it’s ridiculous. I used a totally blank sheet music download, did all kinds of texturing on it to make it look like paper, then typed out several versions of possible statements and smudged them before layering them over each other to leave the traces of her old attempts beneath the final draft – which I also smudged and the like. I spent at least five times longer making Adora’s statement than I did drawing Memelog.

Chapter 8: Winterfest

Adora went nonverbal in the first scene of this chapter. She said very little for the rest of the work day, though it was easier to talk a little when she was back at home and with Catra.

The rose on Adora’s desk was a gift from Hope to celebrate a performance that went well (because Adora loves plants and Hope was aware of this after she started decorating her penthouse to overflow with them). Adora put it in her study so she could see it all the time while working. Flowers die, Adora knows that, but she still got sad when the rose started wilting. Frosta, who was new at the time, noticed and picked up a new rose (a matching red one) and then swapped them. Adora noticed, of course, and it absolutely destroyed her heartstrings. She has never mentioned it to Frosta and Frosta has never brought it up with her, despite how it has been going on for years now and they both know the other has to know.

White roses don’t outright mean innocence, but they represent “pure” or “innocent” love, used both at weddings and platonically. Catra just knew the surface level “white means pure” associated with them, although she did end up later googling it and was relieved that Adora had told her why she got white already or she would have had a full-scale meltdown over Adora giving her “platonic” flowers.

Catra stuck a note next to the vase she put the flowers in telling Frosta to leave them alone. Adora got them for her and she wanted to be the one to take care of them. She put them in the study next to Adora’s singular rose and sighed dreamily while looking at them whenever she needed a break from studying.

“Mi casa es su casa” is the Spanish phrase Lonnie shortened simply to “Mi casa, etc”. It’s basically used as “Make yourself at home” (either sincerely or sarcastically) around here.

Winterfest is just my nondenominational Christmas replacement for a modern AU that doesn’t have our religions. I’ve mentioned it in a number of fics before. It is the final week of the year, ending on New Years. Some people give small gifts throughout Winterfest, while most prefer one main gift on the final day.

Adora has some fine motor control issues, alluded to in her earlier mention of her shaking hands for performances. She owns the guitar because she wanted to learn it, but she couldn’t make her fingers work for the frets. She could, however, play the piano with relatively few issues, at least when there isn’t stress on her (trust me, it is totally possible for somebody to be able work their hands to play some instruments but not others).

Adora singing “You Are My Sunshine” (if that isn’t the song’s real name I don’t know the true one) is because it was the very first song I ever learned to play on guitar, back when I was like 10.

Chapter 9: The Prestige

Actual outline note from this chapter: [a kaleidoscope of fucking]

Hope couldn’t give less than half a shit about having wrinkles, but the entertainment industry is vain like that and doesn’t respect older women, so she had Botox done.

Hope is very one-track and dedicated. She decides a course of action and follows it until the end. Adora can also get one track, and when they are running on parallel tracks they struggle to communicate and switch to be on the same path. It wasn’t until Hope realized that similarity in them that they started actually getting shit done together.

Anyone Else has been on my Catradora playlist for as long as it has existed.

The way I envision the song is the first verse and chorus are directed at Catra, while the second verse (Oh, my blood/once was my own/But in one touch you made it yours/What have you done?/What have you done?/My poor bones/Rearrange them to fit your mold/Hang me up on your bedroom wall/Now I can’t breathe at all.) is directed at Shadow, Hope, the public, and the entire music industry, about how people have tried to take that which was hers and she had gladly given away to someone she loved and tried to warp her to fit her into the shape that they wanted her to be.

“The prestige” is the final part of a magic trick where the trick is revealed - where after months of “pretending” to date, it’s revealed it wasn’t ever fake.

Chapter 10: Anyone Else

Another real line from the outline: [shower not-sex] (yes, that was the entire summary of that scene).

I went back and forth on whether or not Adora should release the song or have had a clean break from the music industry (in fact, I wrote it both ways before deciding), but the thing was that it wasn’t a clean break, so I ended up having her make the decision to record the song but not release it.

There was a scene that got cut from the outline (because things got a little reordered by the sex taking more scenes than I anticipated, so I didn’t have room for an “extra” catra scene after the studio) but which I still consider canon, in which rumours spread that Adora is back in the studio again. Technically true, but the rumour was that she was coming back to music. There were two main variants: the relationship was a stunt to get her name out there again and this was always planned, or that her return wasn’t planned but after the nostalgia burst caused an increase in streams of her music her label asked her to come back for a single, EP, or another album depending on who you asked. Adora chose not the address the rumours, saying she had closed that door. The rumours die down after nothing comes out of it and Adora turns down every future performance request, though if it is for a charity she usually contributes a donation instead. This scene was actually referenced in the final epilogue when Adora mentions flustering Catra while they were out shopping in SOHO, where the scene was supposed to take place.

Original Outline:

Because I’ve been planning this fic for like... five months (it’s the longest lead time between idea and execution thus far) it changed a lot over time, but I’ll talk about the very first concept and then the first draft I did of the beginning a few months back.

The very first idea I called the “Bruce Wayne” AU. Adora wasn’t an ex-celebrity, but rather an adopted NYC socialite. The people hounding her were golddiggers. While Bruce Wayne is the center of tabloid attention, that aspect just doesn’t make sense for a regular socialite, so I made her an ex-star instead pretty quickly.

When writing down my notes for the original idea in November last year, I planned Chapter 1 pretty much exactly how it ended up playing out (in that version, Adora was just at the event because she helped plan it). I used those notes/that outline when I sat down and wrote the contents of Chapter 1 and half of Chapter 2 back in January when I needed a break from Strange Disease. I cleaned up what I wrote for Chapter 1 and used it, but Chapter 2 changed (I’ll talk about that later).

In the very first draft from November, the arrangement was supposed to be a lot more fake, but I couldn’t resist writing about intimacy and repression when the time came to write it. In that outline, they would kiss as practice for the public, but that would be it. Over time, they would get steadily more intimate (“for practice”) until one day Adora had a dinner party with some colleges she worried would out the fake relationship. As such, she and Catra acted as a couple throughout dinner.

Over the course of dinner they had a couple glasses of wine and got really kissy. When their guests left, they just... kept going, until Adora asked to take Catra to bed. Catra made a joke about it costing her double, and then that chapter ended. The next chapter would pick up with Catra waking up late and realizing she is going to miss her class, so she bolted without leaving Adora a note or anything (in this draft, they were sleeping in the same bed just to have their scent on each other). Adora woke up, realized what they did, totally panicked, and then sent Catra a double payment and prayed she hadn’t fucked up everything. Catra, on her end, rejected the payment, because she had been joking the night before, and she really didn’t want to think of herself as someone who actually has sex for money.

There was lots of stress from both ends, but when they saw each other again, they ended up clearing the air that it was good for both of them, it was fun, and yeah, they’d like to do it again, progressing this from a totally fake relationship to a proper sugar daddy relationship, which then would have played out much as it did. This got cut for two reasons: a), I was never intending to actually write drunk sex even in this draft (consent is very important, I didn’t want their first times to be like that, etc) and b) as soon as I started writing the story for realsies, Adora was desperate out the gate and it was pretty obviously a real arrangement, even if Adora still needed to build up to sex. The spa trip kind of ended up in the story in place of this.

The next story beats I knew in this draft were them growing more comfortable in sex and then jumping straight to the end with Adora playing Catra the song.

Now lets talk about the first written draft of the fic. I wrote the approximate contents of the final Chapters 1 & 2 in one or two days (about 19k). Back then, I was planning to write ASGNE next, but it ended up being the Greys and then HTW (which I also wrote the first chapter of during Strange Disease to take a break). The chapter breaks were shorter then, with Chapter 1 clocking at 3.5k and the others at about 5k (this draft contained 4 chapters), but 1 & 2 became a single chapter in the final version, Chapter 3 became parts of the actual Chapter 2, and Chapter 4 got mostly cut (except for the phone convo with Hope, which ended up in Chapter 7).

I was still working off the initial version of the fic where the arrangement was supposed to be fake when I wrote that draft, but when I really got into writing it in March, that ended up... not happening. As such, the real Chapter 2 changed quite a bit. The drafted Chapter 4 also skipped over a lot of their time adjusting to each other and it just... wasn’t good writing lmao. In it, they got outed quickly upon Adora going to pick Catra up from NYU, but there was a lot of timeskipping and I wanted to show everything in detail when I started writing.

Meta:

Ref & Extra #1: NYC Housing

Ref #2: Adora’s statement 

Cut Content #1: Perfuma’s introduction, Chapter 6

Fic Notes #2: Timeline

Other meta: Frosta, Adora’s humming, fanart of Catradora at the resort.

What’s Next?:

Up next I’m going to do a small edit of my fic from last August, Drawn Into The Music. I will be cleaning it up a little (only minor changes) and adding an epilogue. I will post here with some edit notes once it is complete. After that is my “Historical” Arranged Marriage AU, In Service of Her Majesty.

[diredove]

Curious Fool

My first time attempting to write anything longer than headcanons, please note I’m going off of this AU! I’m in love with Crowley so I see this as an x reader story, but it can easily be interpreted as something else!

Warnings: Very Mild cursing, Crowley being scary (as in, threatening and a hand squeezing a throat), Me grasping at straws to make Potentially Evil!Dire make sense! Gender Neutral Reader as well!

You wondered about Dire Crowley more than you would like to admit. He was an enigma that your brain for some reason was terribly invested in solving. It started small, maybe because you were holding back your suspicion out of guilt, the man had given you a roof over your head and food to eat in this strange new world, surely he deserved better than you concocting conspiracy theories about him? But gratitude should not inspire stupidity in someone, and it didn't inspire in you.

Why exactly was he being so gracious? For all the pretty words he spoke to you, he certainly didn't act guilty. Every sympathy he offered to your plight felt like it was meant to silence you, "Shush, no more of that." he seemed to whisper between the lines. Yes, it was all too bad you were stuck in a world not your own and that poor, poor Crowley was working himself to the bone to find a way back for you to no avail, but what would you have him do? He's already being so kind.

And that was another thing, wasn't it? He wasn't all that kind at all, or if he was it was only in a backhanded way. Wasn't he just the sweetest thing alive for giving you a place to stay? As if you weren't breaking your damn back every single night sleeping on the couch of the teacher's lounge and waking to the racket of your dearest headmaster starting up that monstrous coffee maker at the crack of dawn each morning! Well, what about the food you were provided every single meal time? Quite generous, he'd say. And you would beg to differ because you had a diet of convenience store sandwiches and children's snacks and sodas! Everything you ate was from Sam's shop and didn't cost that old crow a dime!

And maybe, just maybe, you would have been more understanding and grateful for it given your circumstances, if Dire Crowley wasn't absolutely loaded. He could easily afford to buy you actual meals, put you up some place that wasn't a glorified common room, pay you! But for all his guilt and graciousness, he didn't. It felt like he was trying to trick into being grateful to him when he hadn't actually done anything for you to be grateful for, in the grand scheme of things.

But that's not all. If that had been it then you could have convinced yourself you were being dramatic and gone on with your topsy turvy little life. But no, Dire Crowley simply would not let you rest (on a proper bed or otherwise).

Why did he act like that? You were not someone to turn your nose up at an odd personality, considering how well you were handling being in a potential alternate universe, one might say you have one yourself. But there was just something... off about him. He always seemed a bit too happy, he laughed just a tad too hard, his stares were too intense, he went silent after whatever spiel he'd been on so quick you'd think he had a switch inside him. Alone, those were just the quirks of being human (though you didn't even know enough to call him that either), but they stacked up quickly.

And you had really fought with yourself on this, worried you were being prejudice against him out of paranoia, but then you saw him get angry.

Everyone gets angry, everyone yells sometimes, it's a fact of life and you're an adult who can accept that. But seeing the headmaster shift from harmless eccentric man to inflicting backbreaking labor on teenagers who didn't get to explain themselves at all was rather... jarring to say the least. He yelled in his oddly charming accent and his mask hid whatever anger would have shown on his face, and maybe you were being overprotective of the young ones and forgetting that that type of punishment was far more manageable in a world of magic. But you couldn't shake the feeling that he was holding back, like he was seconds away from sounding like a different person beneath the quirky act. Like a parent putting on a goofy voice to scold their child to keep themselves from letting their frustration show.

But, and maybe you're just dense from here on, all that did was make you squint a little. There was just as much of a chance of him putting up a front as there was of you misunderstanding things and reaching too far. But the seed had been planted, and now you were curious.

So, instead of coming up with crazy ideas you had no backing for, you thought: "Let's just ask."

Not Dire, of course, as if he would tell you the truth or appreciate you prodding him. Thankfully though, there were people close to him that you could interrogate instead.

And then you started hitting walls, thick ones.

"What's Dire's deal?" Seemed like a pretty clear question, so why was every single answer you got so convoluted?

Sam had tried to act unbothered, but you saw how his hand froze as he stocked the shelves of the Mystery Shop. He looked at you with his bright smile and waved his free had dismissively.

"He's something alright, I'll give him that! He's an odd one, I guess you could say! What's with the interest, Starlight?" He answered, though a question for a question hardly satisfied you.

Crewel had outright ignored you, even after you had repeated your question several times he kept maneuvering around you and acting like he was busy. He absolutely wasn't, he had moved the same four beakers back and forth between lab tables three times. Once he realized you weren't going to take his hint and scram, he looked down his nose at you as if you had ruined his entire week.

"You know, puppies that never stop yapping are troublesome. But do you know what's even more troublesome, Little Scamp? Puppies that sniff around where they don't belong. You'd do well to train yourself out of that habit, and quickly." He'd told you coldly, which shocked you into a stupor because you had thought him overzealous but friendly just moments before.

You had hoped Trein, with his unflappability and no nonsense policy, wouldn't beat around the bush and would be the one to change your luck so far. Instead, he averted his eyes and cleared his throat uncomfortably. He seemed to be taking extra care to choose his words, as though they were fragile as glass slippers. Even Lucius looked still in his arms.

"He is a man, as am I, nothing more and nothing less. It is best to leave it at that, My Dear." He implored you gently, you couldn't help but feel this was as close to a plea as the stoic man would ever get. Lucius stared at you unblinkingly, as if trying to determine your answer through your eyes alone.

You hoped the cat couldn't actually tell, because your answer was no.

You still had one more shot. Vargas was loud and a bit much at times, but his love of his own voice would work in your favor. However, you had learned from your mistakes and decided getting straight to the point wasn't in your best interest. If everyone wanted to play with you, it was only right to join the game.

"Please, tell me more about your school days, Ashton! Were you really the star of the Magic Shift team?" You asked in an awed tone, eyes wide.

The coach was eating it up like it was his last meal, you had been stroking the man's ego for over two hours already and if he tells you about the goal that turned the playoffs around one more time you think you'll snap. But his defenses are down, and his lips are loose, so you'll grin and bare just a little longer.

"That's right! I was king of NRC, undisputed! There wasn't a soul on campus who didn't want to be mine!" The man boasted, "Well, except for Beth. She wasn't all there though, not that I cared! She wasn't all that, I'm not bitter about it!"

He's definitely bitter about it, but you don't have time to unpack that when your opening is right in front of you.

"Right right, I totally get it. Hey, speaking of the past, when did you meet Crowley?"

Okay, you lied. There wasn't an opening at all, you burst in with a sledgehammer. But your cutesy act was getting hard to keep up!

Vargas takes the sloppy bait though, " Oh, that guy? He just kinda popped up and offered me a job to be honest. The pays good, so I deal with the old coot being a weirdo."

You have to stop yourself from lighting up, "Weirdo?" You question dumbly, finger on your chin and all.

Vargas looks both ways and then gestures for you to come closer, you can't tell if he's being playful or not with that glint in his eyes.

"Look, don't tell anyone I told you this, okay Dolly? Crowley's got some crazy going on around here, I swear. I don't know details but I've got suspicions." The coach whispers, you nod eagerly for him to continue.

"There's this... room. I don't know what's in it, it's always locked and not even the staff master key opens it. He goes in there every Friday, and I don't see him come out, he just appears again Monday morning. There's this bright light that shines under the door whenever he goes in, and after a few seconds, it stops." Ashton explains, and it's more than you had hoped for.

Creepy locked room, disappearing act, unexplained happenings? This is exactly the dirt you've been looking for!

"He thinks he's being sneaky about it, but I caught on, see? I was following him to ask about a some paperwork and I saw it. I know somethings up, Crowley is up to no good and I don't care how crazy I sound." Ashton stresses, as he goes on he seems more serious, you can't take time to be happy about your findings because he looks so pale.

"Vargas, are you oka-"

"Listen Dolly, I know you're curious, but you don't want nothing to do with this and neither do I. Freaky shit is going down, and if you're smart like me you'll act like you don't know a thing."

You stare at him. H-Had he been on to you the whole time?

"I'm trying to help you, stay away from the west wing and don't-" He stops. His eyes are on something behind you.

"V-Vargas?" You call, shakily.

"I've said enough. Stay outta the west wing, Doll. For your own good."

You don't stay out of the west wing.

In fact, you deliberately seek it out. Ace gives you a funny look when you ask him, but he points you in the right direction anyway. You wish you were more embarrassed about being a member of staff asking students for directions, but you've got bigger fish to fry.

You know this isn't smart, no matter how harmless the headmaster may seem, no one likes being found out. But your life is in his golden-clawed hands and you'd feel even less smart following him blindly and hoping you're safe with him.

The west wing isn't what you expected (though to be fair you had been expecting a torture chamber), it's an entirely normal hall like all the others in school. It's so mundane your face falls. There's also no way to tell if anything is amiss from a glance alone, so you'll have to use less tact than you were hoping to. Making your way down the hall you turn each knob one by one to see which won't turn.

After about twenty or so doors, curse the long hallways in this college, you see one that's quite out of place. It's at the very end of the hall, how cliché, and while it is the same size and color as all the others, it's surrounded with a ridiculous number of portraits. There are big ones above the doorframe and little ones squeezed into the narrow spaces along the sides of it, and if that wasn't enough, the ones that wouldn't fit in either spot were enchanted to float nearby. And the portraits themselves are nothing like the silly but sweet ones that gossip as they watch over everyone who passes in the main building, these are painted with snarls and angered eyes. Both human and nonhuman beings are depicted, each one staring straight at whomever would stand in front of the door. Their eyes seem to be looking in every direction at once even though their pupils are painted straight ahead, it feels like they can see everything without shifting their gaze. You can't even tell if they're alive like the others, they're so... cold.

You take a deep breath, that must be it. You've come to this far, and you'd planned everything so carefully there was no reason to be afraid. The students were having Magift practice today, so that meant Vargas was busy, but it also meant that Crowley was doing his rounds and would stop to "give the players some good old fashioned encouragement ". He would go on forever, there was plenty of time for you to investigate and cover your tracks before he ever even wondered where you were.

You could admit the only person you were convincing was yourself, but it helped you forced your legs to move toward the end of the hall. Even as you walked closer, you knew you shouldn't, the air around you seemed like it was trying to force you back, oppressively pushing you with every step you took towards that door. You wouldn't be able to open it, Ashton had told you already, what exactly were you gaining, being stared down by the lifelike yet lifeless portraits as you neared the door? Nothing, and yet your hand grabbed the knob impulsively, you hadn't realized you'd been holding your breath until it left your lungs in a rush at the touch of icy cold iron in your clammy grip.

You shouldn't have touched it, you shouldn't have, now what? Your plan was to turn back after your curiosity was sated, but you couldn't. The force that was pushing back against you before was now pulling you forward, beckoning you. The portraits no longer looked like a warning, but an invitation. You've come so far, now come a little closer, something that wasn't a voice nor a thought breathed around you.

You twist the doorknob, like a fool.

It turns.

Your heart leaps with excitement and fear, and you feel a surge of adrenaline run through your body. You can go in, you can go farther!

You feel yourself smiling widely even though you're sure you're not happy, you go to push the door open just a little further.

You stop as four pinpricks upon your throat flare with pain, your eyes go wide like a deer and you freeze.

"Crewel was right, you're truly nothing but trouble."

The voice sounds familiar, and yet nothing like the person it belongs to. But you'd know those gold-tipped fingers anywhere.

"I really am getting on in years, to make such a mistake." Dire sighs, his voice does not lilt and his tone is low. He sounds like an actor who's given up on staying in character.

You catch a whimper in your throat when the hand upon it slides up the front of your neck to grip under your chin and rear you head back at a terrible angle. You meet the dead-eyed gaze of Crowley's mask as he looks straight down at you.

"But you've made an even bigger mistake, Youngling, by testing me."

You want to apologize, or plead for your safety, because the man looming over you is not the one you've grown reluctantly fond of. But because we have established that you are a fool, you say instead:

"Your vest is a mistake. There's sequins on it." You snark weakly, you sound pathetic, half because of the grade school insult and half because you're gasping for breath.

Dire stares down at you blankly. Then he grins, not his usual one full of jolly cheer, but a wide toothy one that is just a few degrees off from a sneer.

"Oh, you really think you're just the cutest little thing under the sun, don't you?" He asks, he chuckles halfway through but it's dry and dark.

Why are you so foolish, why do you speak?

Abruptly, the pressure points on your neck are released and you fall to your knees, gulping sweet sweet air.

"Well you're right! You're just adorable, thinking you could catch me out!" Dire shouts cheerfully, hands on his hips and accent back in full swing. His façade is back in place like it was never gone.

You stare in disbelief.

"You know, anyone else would have to be put under a curse of eternal silence for snooping around like you did." He continues, "But I am so very kind, I'm going to let you walk out of here without laying a finger on you."

You shakily get to your feet, leaning against the wall for support and as something to curl in on to cower from the overly happy man before you.

He stares at you smiling for many moments too long, you know he's trying to scare you and you're angry at yourself for being so. Abruptly, he nods.

"I'll be off then, I'm sure you get the message? Of course you do! Make your way back to your room then, off you get! Goodbye!"

The man walks away quickly, waving his hand in farewell.

He left you without a fight, with the door left unlocked and you still in position to reveal what was on the other side. You balk at the obvious show of his power over you.

He knew you were too terrified now, he knew you would obey him like a dog told to stay, the smug bastard.

You bite your lip in frustration and confused tears fill your eyes. You just want to know what's going on, you just want to go home! Nothing makes sense.

You look at the door that's slightly ajar.

Then at the exit of the west wing across the long hall.

You can no longer hear Crowley's footsteps.

And because you are a fool, and because you are defiant, and because you want some semblance of control, you make a mad dash through the door before you can change your mind.