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misha-moose-dean-burger-lover · 4 years ago

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destiel, 2.4k, mild hurt/comfort, happy ending. for @wormstacheangel who wanted a fic with anemic!Cas <3

"Cas?"

Dean hears a flump from the direction of the bedroom right as he finishes shaving his left cheek. It takes him about five seconds from there to dashing out of the bathroom, sink hastily turned off and half of his neck still covered in white, wearing an expression of worry that doesn't quite go with the foam beard.

Cas seems to hold the same opinion because his face splits in a wide grin the moment Dean enters the room.

A grin almost distracting enough for Dean to not notice that Cas is back on the bed, and suddenly wearing a blanket.

Almost.

"Goddammit, Cas." He sighs, huffing as panic slips away to make room for exasperation. He walks up to the bed, sets about righting the blanket around Cas.

Cas lets him.

"I should've known -"

"- Dean, I forgot -"

"- you were going to ditch your meds the first night after I stop bugging you 'bout them." Dean mutters, ignoring Cas completely as he makes weak attempts at protesting when Dean tucks one corner of his blanket all the way round at the other side, effectively turning him into what he mentally likes to call a Cas-burrito.

He doesn't like to call it anything at the moment though, cause right now, it's just proof of how Cas doesn’t listen.

Friggin' ex-angel of the lord, billions of years old, with libraries worth of stories and history in his head — but taking his meds when they're supposed to be taken, he forgets.

"It wasn't on purpose." Cas insists in a small voice, and Dean shoots an annoyed look at him before stepping back, finally finished with the blanket routine.

If you could call it that.

Well, Dean does call it that.

Because it happened often enough times after Cas's return from the Empty, human as the day Dean was born, to prompt both a title, and a reason to investigate why in the first place.

And not a lot of road to cover from typing in Cas's symptoms in a search engine — headaches, spells of dizziness, fatigue and feeling cold in general (things Cas had dictated to Sam who was typing, while Dean seethed from the next chair at not having been priorly informed of most of those things that warrant being informed about) — to ending up at the conclusion of a few billion (but actually just the first four) results, just minutes after.

Cas had anemia.

(The doctor Dean took him to the very next day, and Sam's completed research on the Novaks' medical history by the time they got back, confirmed it.)

Now, as far as the Winchesters were concerned, that was practically a relief — especially since their next place to look would've been old, tired books of curses, and the meekest of those would've been several times more worrying than the awfullest case of anemia one could possibly get - and Cas's, thankfully, wasn't even that bad.

However, curses are reversible. Or at least, equally as destroyable as their curse-rs are — who, usually, tend to be pretty destroyable when it comes to Sam and Dean.

Mineral deficiencies, on the other hand, are neither.

So supplements it is, as the doctor said and then prescribed — or so it should have been anyways, except for how the love of Dean's life was a giant baby when it came to taking pills.

"Sure it wasn't." Dean rolls his eyes, continuing in his exaggerated 'Cas' voice. "You just forgot."

Cas squint-frowns at Dean with all the ferociousness of a tired, cold and anemic four-weeks-old human, and Dean perches next to him on the edge of their bed with a sigh, the exasperation wearing off too.

(If he hadn't already wrapped them up, this would've been about the time Dean would've taken Cas's hands in his own.)

"Cas," He says, softer now.

Truth be told, Dean can't imagine what it must be like to go from being a - a being, that can heal itself and everything else, to a human who gets shivery and lightheaded cause of things inside of him he can't even control.

It's got to be terrifying, and obviously awful, and Dean's proud of Cas for the way he's been handling all of it — but dammit he's supposed to do the things that make it easier.

Just like he's supposed to let Dean take care of him.

"Dean," Cas replies, looking sideways at him with most of the stubbornness melted from his expression as well. "I'm a little cold but it's okay. I'm fine." He says, like he can still tell exactly what Dean needs to hear.

What he needs Cas to be.

There's a pause and Dean looks down at his hands. He can't help his next question, it's been on his mind for some time.

"What about the first time you were human?"

Cas noticeably withdraws into himself on hearing him, and Dean feels immediately a pang of guilt. It may have gotten easier to read him since he became human, but an accidental display of emotion was still a novelty. (Being difficult to read was apparently more of a Cas trait than an angel feature.)

"What about it?"

"Shouldn't you, uh," Dean pauses. "Shouldn't you also have been anemic then?"

Cas turns away from him, slow enough that Dean knows he's not taken offense, deliberate enough that he's thinking.

He finally answers, facing the wall ten feet away instead of Dean.

"I guess I was."

"But," Dean frowns. "I thought you had no idea you had anemia until last week."

"Dean, I didn't even know there was anything wrong with me until last week." Cas returns, his tone steady. "And back when I was human for the first time, I didn't either, because I'd never known what healthy felt like before, so I had no idea if I was or wasn't it. Of course I knew in an objective sense, say, the ideal temperature of the human body, but the ordinary amount of chilly one should feel on the streets in winter, or how hard or easy falling asleep is supposed to be, I couldn't have told you."

"Oh."

"And I still wouldn't have been able to," Cas turns back to him. "Had you not been the one to point it out."

Dean scoffs.

All he'd done was ask why Cas had been shivering in the middle of the day. That was it. Honestly, how could he not have seen it sooner?

"So you just," Dean lets out, afraid of the answer. "You just thought the cold spells and the, uh," he falters. "The being tired all the time — you thought that was part of being human?"

Cas smiles wryly. "It is for a lot of people."

"But —"

"And it was, Dean, anemia or not, for a lot of the people I lived with back then."

Dean's stomach bottoms out. He knows Cas is right. Six years ago, he'd been living on the streets, living in a bus. Dean remembers him — homeless, cold, sleeping on the floor of a Gas 'N Sip in his only set of clothes, Cas. And he knows he's responsible for it — knows he deserves to be hated for it, and it messes with him everyday that Cas doesn't — but did Cas really not even know what Dean had done to him? What Dean had — and Jesus, he detests himself — made him go through?

"You really thought all of us were going through that," Dean blinks. "And none of us was saying a thing?"

Cas doesn't look away this time and Dean goes on.

"I mean, I know you put humanity on a pedestal it doesn't deserve, and you think we're all capable of things you're capable of, but Cas, I can't believe you associated being human with being cold and tired, and —" Dean scrubs his face with a hand. "Goddammit, Cas! How could I have let you go out there on your own when you — h-how did I not see it, and — and you should never have had to deal with it all alone, I should've —"

"Dean."

It's not until Cas interrupts him that he realizes he's been rambling. Ranting, really, because it's not fair that Cas only got to see the worst of humanity, and it's not fair that Cas was so used to feeling awful that he just figured everyone felt that way all the time. That Cas was all alone at a time Dean should've been there for him, should've been at his side, been there to make sure he was warm, and make sure he ate spinach and seafood and whatever the hell else is rich in iron — hell, Dean should've looked it up sooner — and Dean should've been able to tell that Cas was sick, even if Cas couldn't, because that's his job.

He hasn't felt this way in a while — this particularly familiar fear of failing Cas, and losing Cas, entwined horribly, returning to him; seeping back in through his skin, and settling on his bones like the vast sediments of guilt and loss he's been carrying for most of his life.

Cas is supposed to be okay, and Dean's supposed to make sure he is.

But so far as upto here, turns out Dean's just been failing in more ways than he'd even known.

"Dean," Cas repeats, pulling him out of his reverie with determination in his voice, and a hand on Dean's left arm, his blanket now hanging off of one shoulder.

Dean immediately reaches to make it right but Cas holds him right where he is. Physically and not-drowning-in-his-own-head wise, and he's the only one who can do that.

"You're not listening to me."

Shit, Cas had been speaking this entire time, hadn't he? "Sorry, I was -" Dean looks Cas in the face to apologize, and lets out a breath he hadn't known he'd been holding, cause thank god, Cas isn't that pale. "Sorry."

"It's okay." Cas smiles, and it's not lopsided anymore, it's just Cas.

(Dean wonders if he should try to mirror it.)

"I was just saying that now I know that that's not the only part of being human."

"What do you mean?"

"The pain and the suffering, Dean. That's not all." Cas says. "There's also love, and kindness, and worry of the non-lifethreatening kind that dissipates with a smile, and warmth."

Dean stares at him.

"And sure," Cas shrugs. "I knew those things before too — I've read books, I've watched you and Sam — but now I've felt them as humans do, for the very first time, so it's a different kind of knowing."

Cas takes Dean's hand in his, and Dean's the one who squeezes.

"I believe the human expression is 'knowing it in my bones'."

Dean lets out a strained laugh in spite of himself. "Dunno, man. I don't think that's exactly what that means."

"But I do know it in my bones." Cas says simply, and Dean's heart does that thing where it feels too big for his chest. How Cas could go through so much, and still be so full of kindness and good, is one of the mysteries of life Dean's never going to solve — but it doesn't stop him from falling a little bit harder every time it happens.

"You should've gotten to know it the last time too, Cas." Dean tells him, sighing again. "I'm just — I'm sorry I wasn't there."

"Well, you are now." Cas tilts his head. "And I prefer the things I'm learning this time over the last time anyway, and I believe it's you who's always taught me that the present is what matters the most. I'm just glad you're here this time."

"And I'm not going anywhere." Dean squeezes their hands tighter, and Cas's smile grows. God, he deserves the world and he keeps settling for Dean, doesn't he — and Dean hates it, and loves it, and couldn't live without it. He puts his other hand on Cas's face, gloving his cheek. Cas leans closer.

"I love you."

Dean's throat constricts. "You're too good to me."

"I think that's the point."

Dean can't help but smile, and he really can't help the tears.

"I'm okay." Cas says, once more. "Are you?"

There's only one answer, and nothing to fight this time.

Dean closes the gap.

"I love you too."

It's not their first kiss, nor is it the first time they've ever said it — but it feels more significant than anything's felt before. It's more them, too — not sickly-sweet or angry and fighting, just them, coming around to the end of a hard talk, falling into each other's arms with an ease they reserve for each other only, and sinking into each other, slow and perfectly synced, like they're made for it.

When they pull back, a moment later, Dean leans his forehead against Cas's and licks his lips. Breathes.

"There's so much more to being human," he hears himself saying. "Than you'd ever find out just living here in the bunker with us."

"Dean," it's Cas's turn to sigh. "I've already found everything I need."

Dean's cheeks heat up. "I thought it was never too late to learn."

"It isn't." Cas leans back, hands falling back to his sides from where they were wrapped around Dean's neck. "But sometimes, practising old things is more important."

Dean immediately dissolves into laughter. "Yeah, no, great going. Call me old before you go to town practising on me."

Cas ignores him save a twinkle in his eyes. "And some things, I'd like us to learn together."

Dean grins.

"And some things," Cas concludes, with a wide smile. "Aren't taught anywhere else in the world."

"Yeah?"

Cas shrugs.

"Why so?"

"Well, rumor has it the teacher's afraid of flying."

Dean freezes for a moment, silent, and then snorts — because yeah, that's funny, Ha Ha, but okay, if Cas is fit enough to make jokes, then he's fit enough to take his meds now, and Dean tells him that gleefully, resulting in Cas's grin immediately turning upside down as he tries to scoot away from Dean, except Dean's kinda expecting it so he's prepared to launch himself on the bed if he has to — and he does have to, cause Dean might love him for his heart, and his courage, and his kindness, but remember how Cas is just a baby in a trenchcoat?

Yeah.

(And that is just a regular morning in the Winchester household.)

#destiel #destiel fic #angst with a happy ending #destiel kiss #deancas fluff #cas angst #well. minor angst.#long post #i really hope you like it Rubi <33 #it got considerably longer (and sadder in the middle) than i'd expected it to be?? but oh well :'))#nyrawyra #userpris #userdee #spncreatorsdaily #dean pov #kashmircastiel #friendshapedcastiel #rambleoncas #oh writing my writing

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halloweenhoneylover · 4 years ago

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the struggle bus

summary: spencer is the kindest human alive, which makes things tough for the reader :/ (spencer reid x fem!reader)

word count: 5.3k (a doozy kinda!)

warnings: i guess angst, but really just idiots in love (my fav trope). reader is kind of a hot mess. also, mention of overdose via multivitamin.

author’s note: hi, it’s been approx 4000 years since i last posted, but it’s just because i have no concept of ‘efficiency’ or ‘speed.’ but it’s okay. some of this is good, some of this is eh, make of that what you will. also, this is supposed to be #funny sometimes so uhhhh, keep that in mind. ALSO, the title is majorly stupid, but it was the title of the google doc, and i couldn’t think of anything else......anyways, love u!

For once, the bullpen was quiet.

Spencer was immersed in some case file, doing some work that you should have probably been doing as well, but it was approaching the late hours of the night, and you would barely be able to keep your eyes open if you came even close to trying to read or write. Your desks were situated against each other, so you shifted your gaze across the small divider to him. His sharp features were softened in the lamplight, a sight that tugged on your heartstrings, and you took a moment to just look at him. Most everyone else was gone or was too focused on getting their work done to pay attention to your reverie. Derek, if he were here, would dub you as ‘lovesick’ and shoot mischievous smirks and wiggling eyebrows in your direction, but luckily for you, he was not. Twisting carelessly in your chair with your feet propped on the desk, you chewed absentmindedly on a pen, lost deep in thought. “Hey, Spencer?”

“Yeah?” He continued scribbling on the file without so much as a glance towards you, but that was perfectly fine by you, more time for not-creepy staring.

“How many of my vitamins do you think I could eat before I died?”

At this, he furrowed his brow and neatly laid his pen down.

“That depends on what vitamin you’re taking. If you’re talking about iron supplements, the limit is somewhere around 20mg of elemental iron per kilogram of body weight. Any more than that will have incredibly unpleasant side effects like abdominal pain, persistent vomiting, rapid breathing, and coma. However, if you’re talking about Vitamin C, it’s virtually impossible to overdose, but you might get a bad headache if you supersede 2000 mg.”

“Okay, what about my gummy vitamins?”

He narrowed his eyes at you. “While it still depends on what vitamins are included, eating a whole bottle of your typical multivitamin could easily result in death.”

You mulled this over. “So, I should definitely not go home and eat the rest of my gummy vitamins tonight?”

Spencer chuckled, “I’m not a medical doctor, but yes, I’d recommend that you don’t do that.”

Tossing your head back and letting out a small groan, you protested, “But Spencer, my gummy vitamins taste so good! And I have no food at home, so I guess I either die by overdose on gummy multivitamins or starvation.”

He couldn’t help but grin at your melodrama. It could be 12:06 in the morning, and you could still somehow make him laugh. He was starting to understand that he was in too deep, but he also had the startling realization that he didn’t mind drowning if it was in you.

“You’ve got quite the predicament on your hands there, (Y/N). Maybe you should go grocery shopping with me the next time I suggest it, so you don’t end up in this situation again.”

“Oh my god, dude!” you moaned. “I told you I was actually busy; I had to take Oscar to the vet for his vaccines! I try to be a good mother to my dog, and you know I’m not an anti-vaxxer. I’d never decline time with my favorite guy without a good reason.”

Spencer’s heart was doing somersaults at the thought of him being your favorite guy. He’d won plenty of awards and medals in his lifetime, but somehow, none of those measured up to the accomplishment of being your favorite. Pride and butterflies boiled in his stomach.

“Alright, fine, I’ll let it slide this time.”

You snorted, “I appreciate your unmatched benevolence, Dr. Reid.” Locking eyes with him, you tried to dampen the lava flow of heat in your chest that erupted when he looked at you with the softest expression you’d ever seen, but you failed miserably. You had to clear your throat and look away; it was becoming all too much. “Hey, I’m gonna run to the restroom. Don’t leave without me!”

As you dashed away, a thought crossed Spencer’s mind, and he stood up and set off down the opposite hallway.

You returned a few minutes later to an empty bullpen which made you frown, and your heart sank. You had thought he was going to wait, but guess not. Sighing, you tried to not let it sting too badly when you noticed a light on in JJ’s office. You knocked and pushed the already ajar door with a quick hello? before being met with an exhausted-looking JJ.

“Hey, (Y/N). I thought everyone had left by now.”

“Nope, not quite yet,” you replied, offering a weak smile. JJ noticed and wrote it off as fatigue. “You didn’t happen to see Spencer leave a couple minutes ago, did you?”

“Uh, no, I thought he’d gone too.”

“Hm, okay, thanks anyway!”

You prepared to leave, but she stopped you, cocking her head. “Why do you ask? Is he still here?”

Leaning your head against the doorframe, you sighed. “I’m not sure. He was here when I went to the bathroom, but he wasn’t at his desk when I came back. I’m a little disappointed. We always walk out together because we’re both afraid of the parking garage at night.”

A grin simmered on JJ’s face at that fact. “Well, I could walk you out if you’d like?”

“Nah, that’s okay; I don’t want to bother you.”

There was something behind JJ’s eyes you couldn’t identify as she replied, “Alright, then. Just let me know if you change your mind.” She definitely wasn’t thinking about how you didn’t want her intruding on a you-and-Spencer tradition. Not that she minded! She’d been rooting for you both since the minute you’d stepped into the BAU, and Spencer had looked like he was about ready to melt into the floor at the sight of such a pretty girl.

“Thanks, Jayje.”

Dragging your feet a little, you made your way back to your desk to gather your things, trying to fend off the disappointment. You had gotten your jacket on and were about to pick up your bag when you heard a (Y/N)! from down the hall. Well, that was certainly not JJ. Hesitantly, you called out, “Spencer?”

He finally emerged with his arms loaded with...something, you couldn’t discern what in the dim light. His face lit up like the Vegas strip when he saw you. “(Y/N)! I didn’t want you starving or eating all of your vitamins, so I went down to the vending machine and got you a couple snacks!” Arriving at his desk, he dropped the various bags and packets on his desk, and your eyes widened immensely.

“A couple? Dude, did you buy out the whole machine?”

Slightly breathless from his quick jog back, he waved a dismissive hand. “It was nothing. And hey, look!” He picked up a bag. “Fruit snacks! Just like your vitamins, but without the part where you get really sick.”

You were astonished, to say the least. And minorly speechless too, as evidenced by your mouth that was gaping like a fish. “Spencer...this is so nice. You really didn’t have to.”

“Don’t worry about it; I’m sure you would’ve done the same for me.”

At that, your face nearly split in two, and he mirrored your grin. You thought you might pass out at his kindness, and you knew you’d be thinking about this every day for the next two weeks at least. Your expression then turned mischievous, as you tried to tamp down all of the warmth bubbling in your stomach. “Do you want to help me try to fit all this in my bag?”

“I thought you’d never ask.”

———

Garcia had been practicing her ukulele peacefully when she got the call. (Well, ‘peacefully’ might have been a stretch as she had threatened to smash the object on her coffee table when she simply could not get the finger picking pattern she’d practiced for what seemed like hours, but it was supposed to be a relaxing hobby, so yes, it was peaceful.) Huffing a sigh of relief when the caller ID said [(Y/N/N)!!] with the longest stream of heart emojis and not [hotch >:( ], she picked up with her usual air of cheer. “What can I do ya for, my loveliest, most bewitching—”

She was cut off abruptly by the sounds of your horrible, heart-wrenching sobs, and her brows furrowed in concern. “Oh no, my sweet! What’s wrong?” She had to wait a few moments for your tears to calm (somewhat) while you tried to wrangle in your breath, so you could form some sort of sentence.

“Penny!”—gasp—“Oh my God,”—hiccup—“it looks so bad!” With your last word, you tumbled into incoherent bawling once again.

“Dear, what looks so bad?” She held her phone between her ear and her shoulder as she began to gather up her things. Whatever was wrong, it was clear you needed some good, old-fashioned Garcia TLC, and she was ready to give it.

The sniffling subsided minorly, and you choked out, “Remember when we were talking the other day, and I mentioned that my hair had gotten a little too long for my liking?” Oh no, Garcia could see where this was going. “Well, I figured I’d spend our evening off getting my hair cut, and I went to that new hairdresser, and oh Penelope, it looks awful. I don’t think I can ever go out in public again.” With that, your tears resumed.

“Darling, you know I’ve been where you are, and I know it seems bad right now, but everything will be fine. Let me grab my scissors and I’ll be over faster than you can say, ‘Penny, I love you so much, you truly are my fairy godmother.’”

You paused before whispering into the phone, “Penelope, I do love you so much, and you are my fairy godmother. But please, hurry.”

And hurry, she did.

Garcia was knocking on your door a little over five minutes later, which was incredibly suspicious because she lived at least 10 minutes away on a good day, but in the state of your disarray, you were not inclined to care. She sat you down on the toilet in your bathroom, whipping out her hair care set (she had definitely spent a significant amount of time dabbling in cosmetology, and it was desperate times like this when it came in handy). Squeezing your eyes shut through most of it, she snipped here and there, trying to make the best of this...horribly atrocious cut (seriously, that hairdresser should be sued), and when she was finished, it was not as bad as when they started, but it still wasn’t great. The rest of the evening was spent watching cheesy rom-coms and baking in an attempt to get your mind off of your hair.

Everything was mostly fine until the next morning, when you realized you’d have to go into work like this, and as terrifying as that prospect was in a normal work environment, you also worked in a place with an abnormal amount of hot people. (And you happened to be developing feelings for one of those hot people, but your brain was insistent upon ignoring that for the time being.)

Already anticipating your worries, Penelope had sent a text without your knowledge to a BAU group chat that excluded you (she had one of these for every member, it just made surprise birthday party planning so much easier).

[penelope :)] please DO NOT MENTION (Y/N)’S HAIR!!!! she got a bad haircut and she feels really terrible about it and doesn’t want to think about it so do not talk about it!!!

[jennifer!] Oh, no! :( Lips are sealed!

[rossi ;)] rip.

Emerging from the elevator in the nicest work outfit you own (an attempt to distract from the monstrosity), you scurried to Garcia’s lair before anyone could see you. Once inside, you slammed the door shut, and leaning against it, you slid down and covered your face with the files in your hands. “Pennyyyyy,” you moaned. “I don’t think I can do this!”

She swiveled to face you with a look of empathy. “Sugar, I know you can. It—it doesn’t even look that bad!” But Garcia was a horrible liar, and if looks could kill, she would have been dead instantaneously.

Heaving yourself up off the floor, you came to sit in the seat next to her. “Can’t I just work in here today? And maybe for the rest of time?”

“You know I would love that, but those other lovely people on our team need you! Especially the young doctor, you know he’d be lonely without you.”

As if her mention had summoned him, Reid opened the door to their secret meeting, files in hand, and your eyes nearly jumped out of their sockets. Garcia stared at him very intensely, attempting to telepathically tell him to not mention the hair, and you looked like a deer in the headlights, trying to figure out a way to hide yourself from him and possibly the entire universe. And poor Reid shifted his gaze between the two of you, helplessly confused as to what he had walked into. “Am I interrupting something?”

“Uh, no!” Garcia said in the least convincing manner.

“Okay,” he responded, not convinced in the slightest. “I just came to give you some files from Hotch.” So, he handed Garcia the papers and then turned to leave when you caught his eye.

And because he was not the greatest with technology, Spencer had not checked his phone that morning…. Meaning he had not seen Garcia’s text. So he looked at you a moment and cocked his head. “Your hair looks really nice today, (Y/N). Did you get it cut?”

This time, it was Garcia’s turn to glare (because read your texts, dammit!), and you fumbled for a response. As you scanned his face, searching for a sign that he was lying, that he was just saying something to make you feel better, you came up empty. He was telling the truth. He genuinely thought your hair looked nice. “Um, uh—yeah. Yeah, I did. Thanks for noticing.”

“You’re welcome.” He offered you a smile, which you returned easily (a fact that surprised you). “See you.” Retreating from the office because the vibes in there were weird, he shut the door, finally leaving you and Garcia alone again.

You were reeling.

You thought about when you had gotten dressed that morning, and you had entertained each outfit with great scrutiny, trying to come up with something that might draw attention away from your hair. In that half hour you’d spent, you had realized that you didn’t really mind looking bad in front of Morgan or Emily or Hotch or really anyone on the team. Almost anyone. With an increasing amount of discomfort, you had realized you didn't want to look bad in front of Spencer. Of course, he’d never judge you, but you wanted to look good for him. For your best friend.

And he told you your hair looked nice.

You smiled to yourself.

Garcia turned to you with a look of shock on her face. Had that been anyone else, she was sure you would have curled up in a ball beneath her desk and would not have left until every single other person had left the Federal Bureau of Investigation, but you hadn’t, and she smirked.

Oh, she knew where this was going.

———

To put it lightly, it had not been the best of mornings.

It seemed that everything that could’ve gone wrong did, so you burst past the glass doors of the BAU six minutes late with a coffee-covered shirt, mud-stained pants, soggy shoes, and a most miserable attitude. Hotch, while a sympathetic man, was still your boss with rules to follow and when you stumbled into the bullpen, gave a pointed stare between you and the clock, and you nodded sullenly. You understood his silent admonition, but knowing that he was even slightly disappointed in you, made your knees want to buckle. Swallowing around the slug in your throat, you set your bag down beside your chair and noticed a foreign object sitting on your desk. Interest thoroughly piqued, you reached forward to find it was a book with a satin ribbon tied on it.

It truly was a beautiful book with a deep crimson hardcover and the kind of deckled edges that you loved. Running your fingers along the rough-hewn pages, you finally noted the title, and you gasped. Beloved by Toni Morrison. Your favorite. The cursive words curved in black on the cover to match the ribbon, and you carefully traced the curling letters, wondering where this gorgeous book could have come from.

In the desk across from yours, Spencer watched the scene in front of him with a grin. He couldn’t help but feel pleased at the look of awe on your face as you inspected the book with careful fingers and a gentle gaze, and his heart swelled more and more the longer he looked. “Did you know that Margaret Garner, the woman the character Sethe is based on, her trial was used as part of an effort to dismantle the Fugitive Slave Act?” Your eyes flickered up to meet his, and those stupid freaking butterflies erupted in the pit of your stomach as you realized who had gifted you the book. “The presiding judge didn’t accept her lawyer’s argument that the act violated the right to religious freedom, but it was still somewhat of a turning point in the movement to strike down the law.”

“I did not know that, but thank you. For the fact and the book.”

“You’re welcome.” He had to avert his eyes from your strong gaze because he thought he might melt otherwise.

“Please don’t misinterpret this as me being ungrateful because I’m so, so thankful, but why?”

He shrugged, “I was just in the book store, and it made me think of you.” No, he didn’t keep an eye out specifically for this book on his weekly trip to the bookstore by his apartment after you had briefly mentioned your love of Ms. Morrison’s metaphors. And he definitely didn’t ask the owner Alice if she would let him know if she ever got any new copies.

Frankly, you were at a loss for words. Combing back through your conversations with him, you tried to remember when you had talked about the book, but you couldn’t come up with anything other than a couple words tossed briefly here and there. Suppose it wasn’t really the fact that he had heard, but the fact that he had listened. He listened and remembered things about you, little things tucked in the back of his brain, and it was how he thought about you even when you weren’t around. So, you clutched the book to your chest tightly as if it could meld with your heart and let your thoughts rage with the implications for a minute before smothering your mushy grin and tucking the book into your bag.

(Later, you pulled it out on your ride home on the metro. Spencer had already gotten off at his stop a few minutes before, so you took this moment of solitude to revel in the glory of your new gift. Every time you smoothed a hand over the cover, your mind was overwhelmed with what-ifs. What if he felt the same? What if his stomach rumbled with the same butterflies when you looked at him? What if this means he likes you as more than…. And abruptly, you were doused in doubt once again, muzzling those dangerous, rearing hypotheticals. This was a path that would only lead to disappointment.

Those thoughts only got worse when you read his inscription, though:

Dear (Y/N/N),

I hope you find great joy in reacquainting yourself with the graces of Ms. Morrison’s elegant prose in this new copy. I was inspired by your praise and read this classic again, and I can say that I definitely understand your veneration of her story-telling. Hopefully, we can discuss it soon, so I can try to see all of the details that you so admire. You are always much better at appreciating the finer things in life.

She says that, “something that is loved is never lost.”

I hope you know that you will never be lost to me.

Sincerely,

Spencer

(P.S. I wrote this in pencil, so you can erase and have the clean copy you wanted.)

You would never erase it.)

———

“Hey, are you alright?”

You sat at your desk with your head in your hands. Your responding “no” came out muffled.

Spencer frowned and sat on the edge of your desk. “Is there anything I can help with?”

Running your hands over your face, you finally met his gaze. His eyes were soft as they searched your own, and the expression on his face was not of pity or frustration but empathy, and of course, he was just being his sweet self. Your eyes watered in response, and his heart clenched at the sight. You shifted your eyes somewhere else, anywhere else. “Uh, no.”

It was clearly a lie.

Furrowing his brows at your obfuscation, he scanned your face for any indication of what might be the problem. A small sigh. He came up with nothing. “Alright,” he conceded hesitantly. “May I ask what is wrong?”

“No.”

“Okay.”

You stared down at the files neatly ordered on your desk, trying to mentally shoo him away with the sheer force of your willpower alone. But Spencer Reid was a stubborn man, and you knew this, and you also knew he wasn’t leaving until he knew you were alright. So, you both sat in the silence of the bullpen that only accompanied the arrival of midnight. The glow of your lamp bathed the vicinity in a warm yellow, and the tick of the nearby clock rattled around your chest as you attempted fruitlessly to subdue your incessant thoughts. He was close enough that you could hear the soft susurration of his exhales as his eyes flitted about the room to give you some sort of breathing room, and you shut yours for a moment to appreciate this moment of peace before the inevitable catastrophe to follow.

“I’m—uh, not okay.”

Finally turning back to you with a mildly surprised expression (he didn’t expect you to say anything so soon. Or so bluntly.), he offered you one of his signature tight-lipped smiles as encouragement to continue.

“I’m kind of really struggling…” you trailed off, gaze empty, ensnared in your thoughts.

Ever the gentleman with persistence that could last a thousand years, he gently prompted, “With…?”

A strong gulp and eyes squeezed shut. “With you.”

Well, that was not the answer Spencer was expecting. He felt like he’d had the wind knocked out of him, and he was hollow and shaken and in pain. Gaping, he fumbled hopelessly for an answer, trying to find some reason you could be upset with him. He had always thought you two were the best of friends; he’d never doubted that before. How could he have missed this?

Swallowing hard against the lump in his throat, he strained to ask, “Uh—um, what—what did I do?”

Upon witnessing his struggle, you quickly amended your previous statement. “No, no, no, no, no! I’m not mad at you, well, I kind of am, but you don’t need to feel bad, it’s not your fault.”

“I’m not really sure what to make of that.”

You huffed a sigh and covered your face with your hands in a poor attempt to try to hide the blush rapidly coloring your cheeks. “I’m sorry, I just—you’re so nice!”

Now Spencer was really confused. “You’re mad at me...because you think I’m nice?”

“Yes, Spencer! You’re so nice, and it makes me incredibly frustrated. You see this?” You picked up a book from your desk and waved it frantically. A little intimidated by your crazed look, he nodded timidly. “Do you recognize this book?”

“It’s a special edition of Beloved by Toni Morrison.”

“It’s the special edition of my favorite book that you bought for me because you know how much I love this book.”

Spencer looked like a deer in the headlights. “You always said that your book at home was so messy with your annotations and that a fresh copy would have been nice.”

“You didn’t even buy it for my birthday or a special occasion! You just saw it in the store and said that you thought of me and had to buy it. That’s so unbelievably thoughtful! Not to mention the fact that I can barely look at fruit snacks now without tearing up. And—and the other day! When I got my haircut, I hated it, but I came in the next day, and you were the first person to tell me you liked it. You weren’t even lying to make me feel better; I’m a profiler, and I know that you were telling the truth. And it took no effort or thought because Spencer, you are the most kind-hearted and compassionate and generous person I’ve ever met. You are so—so genuinely good.

“No, you are the best. You are the best person I know,” you stated with finality, holding his stare with an unshakeable firmness. It was the first time you truly looked at him all night, and his heart felt like it was going to expand past his ribcage and burst open like a balloon. Your resolve melted though and your voice dropped to a near whisper. “And you’re not just nice. You’re nice to me. Which just makes it so hard.”

You deflated, withering into your seat.

“Makes what hard?”

“It makes it so much harder for me to not fall in love with you.”

Stunned silence.

Until it was shattered by a hiccup, and Spencer finally noticed the tears leaking from the corner of your eyes, and he tried, he tried so hard to puzzle through all of this new information and the fact that you just admitted you’re falling in love with him, and for some reason, you’re crying? He couldn’t even get his stupid genius brain to come with a single word before you started stumbling into an apology. “I know that’s not what you want to hear because we’re supposed to be friends, and I know that you’re just a good person, so you’re nice to everyone. Believe me, I know. And I’m sorry if I’ve made you uncomfortable, but I couldn’t keep holding on to this by myself, and I knew if anyone would let me down easy, it’d be you.” You chewed on your lip and avoided his stare at all costs. “So, I’m sorry.” You sniffled.

The quiet that followed weighed heavy on your chest, and you couldn’t seem to breathe. You had expected rejection; you hadn’t expected complete silence. And this was somehow so much more unbearable. In a voice so faint you weren’t even sure if he could hear, you begged, “Please say something.”

A beat.

“(Y/N), I love you.”

A whisper just barely verging on hopeful, “What?”

“(Y/N), I—I love you so much.” His heart felt like it was in his throat, and his voice broke slightly as he stood. “You’re the first person I think about when I get up in the morning, and you’re the last person before I fall asleep. I dread going home at the end of the day because you’re not there. When you’re not with me, even if you’re in the other room, it feels like I’ve forgotten something, and for the longest time, I couldn’t figure out what I was missing, but it was you. You consume my every thought, which is saying something because I think a lot. Actually, it’s kind of funny,” he chuckled somewhat morosely, “I truly cannot comprehend the fact that you don’t know how much I’ve liked you, how long I’ve loved you because it feels like it’s so obvious and so potent that it seeps out of me, whether I want it to or not.

“And I’m nice to you because no one else is more deserving of kindness. I’d be lucky if you let me be the one to remind you of that, everyday. Because you’re the best person I know.” You looked up at him with shining eyes and the meagerest beginnings of a smile, and he just beamed right back. With a creased brow, he ventured, “You’re my favorite person in the world, you know that, right?

Failing to suppress your growing grin, you nodded your head meekly. “Yeah, I know.”

“Good.”

Spencer felt pleased with himself until he remembered that he had forgotten the most important part. “Would you like to get dinner with me sometime? Like a date?”

Standing from your seat, you wrapped your arms around his neck and burrowed your face into his chest, and he immediately reciprocated, clutching you as close as he could. “I would love that.” It came out muffled, but he understood well enough as he pressed his face into your neck. And you stood like that for a few moments, just existing together, and for the first time in a long time, nothing hurt. There was no worry of unrequited yearning or pain of terrible pining; there were just two people who finally knew peace. Knew that the person they loved most in the world loved them back. Neither ever wanted to leave.

However, sometimes necessary duties like breathing take precedence, so you pulled back from him enough to finally claim some air. Your hands slid down his front, resting on his chest, his on your waist, and you just stared at him. The most beautiful face you’d ever seen looking right back at you with the same expression of awe that made you realize just how lucky you were. And slowly, hesitantly, you both leaned in ever so slightly with heads wavering and tension buzzing. Gingerly and sweetly. Neither could commit, but no one could pull away from fast-approaching revelation.

Finally, a breath away.

“Can I kiss you?”

You nodded.

When your lips met, your chest heaved with your eager, romantic hopes and dreams bubbling up near your lungs, finally coming to fruition. His hands came up to caress your jaw, and you leaned into him. His touch was so gentle, but he also touched you with intention. For once in his life, Spencer Reid felt no hesitation, kissing the girl of his dreams. And you felt held by him. You were bursting at the seams of your existence, swollen with infatuation and tenderness, yet totally and completely encompassed by him. You could shatter into a million tiny, little pieces, and he would be there to collect every shard. How cheesy.

Both of you grinned into the kiss; the sickly sweet itch in your heart was contagious. You finally released him, and wanting to savor the moment, you tucked yourself into the crook of his neck, so his chin could rest on the crown of your head. “I love you a lot, Dr. Reid.”

He hummed in agreement.

It didn’t need saying.

#spencer reid x reader #spencer reid x you #spencer reid fanfic #spencer reid fluff #spencer reid #i hope yall see that the sentences that are syntactically similar and the parallel settings are intentional and are like stupid attempts at #motifs and that im not a stupid person :/#also #lol wtf was that ending #anyways #yo this may or may not be based on problems i be having irl #i just fall in love with anyone who is remotely kind to me #lmao #anyone else desperate for affection?? gang??#also r there any toni stans out there i luv my queen #is anyone out there? i just want friends ahh #ALSO DOES ANYONE ELSE HAVE THE OVERWHELMING URGE TO DEVOUR THEIR GUMMY VITAMINS????? IS THAT JUST ME????

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actuallyadhd · 4 years ago

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Hey!, so I’ve been thinking I might have inattentive ADHD. Like, I have many symptoms (I think), but I’m not sure if at the same rate that people with ADHD. I mean, I experience them but maybe as everyone. I still haven’t had too much trouble (except with lack of motivation, some executive dysfunction, daydreaming a lot, not paying attention, rejection dysphoria, and I think I may suffer from sensory overload sometimes but I don’t really know how to know what those are...), but I think that as I have anxiety (most likely) and as I’m a teenager and live with my parents, the symptoms are like hidden with schedules as I don’t decide when to eat. But I’ve noticed when I’m alone, I skip some dinners, have late meals... And also, online classes hasn’t helped with my attention span.

It’s weird, because I’ve always been the best or one of the bests students of my class, not behaving bad. Being “a pleasure to have in class” and all that, and for what I’ve seen, it’s not typical. And symptoms have appeared, or at least I have acknowledged them (that’s most likely), this last year. Except for fidgeting (that’s always been there), daydreaming and many times not being able to pay attention.

What I’m scared of is that when I get older and live alone, I’ll be a complete mess. I already deal with anxious and depressed thoughts, I don’t want to have it harder. And I can’t really ask my parents for help since they very anti-psychologists and therapists, and I think I cannot be mentally ill. So they always say I’m very lazy, which hurts me because I can’t help but be always really tired or restless (so I don’t know if this is procastination and I’m just lazy or actually ADD). But then again, is just the typical teen hormones and anxiety, or ADHD?

And anxiety doesn’t help with thinking I’m just faking this... I’m sorry I rambled, but I can’t really explain it well. I don’t even know what I would get from this, but I think it could help me to know what is wrong.

Thanks!

Sent March 23, 2021

This is a tough one. As you say, there are a lot of different things that could be going on here. It’s particularly rough when the people you need to help you seem like they’d rather just make value judgments. So I’m going to make a few suggestions that might help you, and you can see what sounds feasible to you.

So first I’m going to recommend talking to your parents in terms of what it feels like to have the struggles you do. You said you’re tired a lot, so if you’re getting enough sleep you can definitely mention that. Tell them that you’d like to see the doctor to talk about how you’ve been feeling, so you can find out what’s going on. If you’re sure they will resist any mention of mental stuff, just talk about things like low iron, which is not something you should supplement without talking to a doctor first.

The four biggest things that impact our functioning and emotional state, regardless of whether we have ADHD or not, are sleep, diet, exercise, and stress levels. If even one of those is off, things get harder.

Sleep. You probably need more sleep than you’re getting. If I recall correctly, adolescents require (on average) a minimum of 9 hours of sleep per night. If you’re not getting that, you might benefit from making adjustments to your sleep habits. (Side Note: If anyone would like a post about sleep, please let me know and I’ll see what I can do!)

Diet. It’s important to eat a healthy diet with lots of vegetables and protein in particular. Some people find that a low-carb diet is great for them, while others find that they really need those carbs. To me, what matters is that you get enough protein. There are a lot of important things that protein does for your body and your brain!

Exercise. Cardio is best, but it doesn’t have to be high-intensity or anything like that. The most important thing is that you do something every day. A simple 15-minute walk can help your brain more than you think! On top of that, when you find your focus really lagging, a 5-minute active break can be a huge help in resetting your brain so you can get back to work.

Stress Levels. This is hardest to control. It’s important to find ways to lower your stress levels when possible. It’s been a really rough year, and stress levels are high for everyone. I recommend finding a couple of simple, screen-free activities that you can do to relax in the lead-up to bedtime, like colouring or taking a hot bath. I also recommend exploring stimming, as this can help relieve stress in the moment and can also help you focus if you’re unable to take that active break I talked about up above. Things like fidget cubes, knitting, and playing with Silly Putty can be really great for this.

I hope some of these will help you, and I’m sure some followers will have more suggestions. Be sure to check the notes on this post!

Followers, you’re up! Do you have any more suggestions for this anon?

-J

#adhd #actually adhd #asks #anonymous #questioning if adhd #parents

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early-lipedema-diary · 2 years ago

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This thing with collagen,

So everyone already knows collagen is one of the major recommended products with skin care. It helps with skin elasticity and such.

Since there’s so little confirmed treatments for lipedema, and everything is based on speculation and small scale early research, I find myself reading through a lot of these studies. Growing up with a doctor parent and being obsessed with learning the reasonings behind medical conditions and treatments gave me a pretty good basis for parsing through these dense papers. The lipedema ones especially are interesting to read because none of the conservative treatments suggestions would really do harm - it’s all about healthy lifestyle, compression, and MLD. Supplements have no guarantee to do anything but there’s research on them that makes it worth a try, and the supplements recommended by doctors like Dr Herbst are needed by the body in some capacity anyway.

Back to collagen: so one study I read was looking specifically at the structure of collagen fibers in the bodies of people with lipedema and the control group of people without (with a wide variety of weights and stages). They found that people with lipedema had more distance between collagen fibers than people without, which would likely mean a weaker structure, and more room for fat cells to suck up fluid into. In my head, it’s kind of like someone without lipedema has skin with more compression upon the fat and muscle underneath, and a person with lipedema has less compression against fat, allowing the fat to move around with more room, developing that uneven bumpiness. I really hope that makes some sense and that I understood the study’s results correctly.

So I already had some biotin+collagen in my vitamins and protein powders, but I wasn’t taking like a set regular amount. A few days ago, I bought a “deep tissue collagen” supplement. I thought that sounded like it would move through my body differently than applying topical skin care or the amount in my multivitamin. It was another one of those things where it can’t hurt to do.

My thighs had been looking weirdly bumpy after doing the vibration plate for a week and a half. It seemed like the fluid was moving upwards because I was noticing a much more developed calf muscle than I was seeing before. But that meant fluid was pushed up against the already thinner spots where the lipedema fat was accumulated in. I brought it up to my partner and he said “hmm yeah I guess it does look bumpier”

Fast forward to today, 3(?) days of taking that collagen supplement and my partner came home while I was doing MLD and commented on how smooth my legs looked. It felt really good! I make sure to say my observations out loud to him because he helps notice any changes that I might be too caught up in body dysmorphia to feel excited about.

Also, my legs were down a half inch yesterday! 23inches baby. I’ll ignore the fact that they were back up today to 23.5 but I was running around all today. At least I remembered to wear compression socks like I’m supposed to.

Other side note/tangent: I enjoy wearing leggings and socks as much as the next person, but being told I need to wear these “all day every day” makes me feel very limited in what I can wear. So probably what I’m more likely to do is try to wear the compression socks as much as I can under jeans and such, but only wear the compression leggings when I’ve either decided on an outfit with leggings or am at home. I’ve just never been a leggings every day kind of person unless I’m either rather depressed or am nannying, meaning I’m constantly bent over, crouched, picking up children, etc. aka the worst activities to wear jeans or an unwieldy dress/skirt.

I’m just happy to hear my partner comment on my legs looking smooth! Since I’ve been obsessed and he’s graciously been putting up with my rambling (though it’s a very equal exchange, his hobbies/interests are more consistent and regular level of excitement, mine are fewer and more intense).

#fat disease #lipedema #body image #collagen

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meltwonu · 4 years ago

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| 🍒 CH-CH-CHERRY BOMB! 🍒 | [CHAPTER 4]

pairing; dom!seungcheol x camgirl!reader

this chapter’s notes; masturbation, usage of toys, dirty talkin’, a bit of a filler chapter after last weeks hehe🍒 as always, thank you again for your continued support for cherry bomb 🥺💕 I'm actually not sure if next week’s chapter will go up on time due to my work schedule for next week but I'll be sure to keep y’all updated! if anything it’ll probably go up on saturday instead of friday... 😭😭 But anyway, have a good weekend yall! 💕💕💕 stay hydrated!!

chapters; 1 - 2 - 3 - 4 - ?

The weekend ends quicker than Seungcheol even notices and while he wakes up Monday morning already thinking about you and your show later in the evening; his face falters when he reads the message on your cam homepage.

‘Sorry everyone :( I think I caught a cold so I won’t be doing a show tonight… I promise I’ll make it up to you on Friday! In the meantime, I’ve uploaded some new pics in our members only room~ I hope it’ll tide you all over ‘til then! xx Cherry 🍒 ’

His first reaction is to immediately panic; reaching for his phone and texting you to get as much rest and sleep as possible. He makes a mental note to check in with you again later, finding that he’s already running late to get to work when he gets out of bed.

“Hey! Seungcheol-hyung!”

The said male turns around, placing the set of roller skates on the ground. “Yeah, what’s up?”

Jeongguk sits next to him on the wooden bench, legs stretched out as he passes Seungcheol an energy drink. “Nothin’, just wanted to say thanks for coming over on Saturday! We should try to do that again, except maybe we can go out for drinks or something? We can give it the good ‘ol college try, maybe bring home a girl, if you know what I mean~” Jeongguk wiggles his eyebrows at Seungcheol who rolls his eyes.

“Uh, I’m down for the drinking part but I think I’ll have to pass on the hookups.”

“Really? Why? Are you dating someone and you haven’t told me?”

Seungcheol thanks the gods that the roller rink is dimmed; neon lights and disco balls the only things keeping the entire place dimly lit when he blushes a deep crimson, face hot as he avoids the younger male’s gaze. “Nah, it’s just, I--I don’t think that’s really for me. I’m more of a, uh, relationship type of guy, y’know?” Also, I’m devoting my time and energy to someone already who isn’t really my girlfriend.

“Mm, makes sense!”

Jeongguk keeps Seungcheol company even on his break, the two chatting about various topics before he lets Seungcheol know his break is almost over.

“Hey, wait! Before you go…” Seungcheol is nervous for some reason, fingers gripping the suede of the rollerskate’s boot as he avoids eye contact again. “Um, this is gonna sound really weird but… Who’s ‘j__min’? I feel like I’ve seen that username before and it’s, uh, I’m just curious how you know them? Sorry if that’s weird, I just--I’ve been seeing them around pretty often.”

“Oh, that’s Jimin-hyung. He’s a friend of mine that games with me sometimes! I’ve never really met the dude in person before, but he seems nice.” Jeongguk nods, staring off into space. “He seems really busy all the time too. And he’s super active on social media, that’s probably where you’ve seen him.”

Seungcheol nods; the guy didn’t seem like any sort of immediate threat so he logs the information mentally for now. He’d just have to do some internet sleuthing himself when he got home.

“Oh, cool, okay! Thanks ‘Guk!”

Seungcheol groans after the seventh pair of skates he’s cleaned, standing up to stretch and reach for his phone in his pocket. He checks the notifications, noting that you hadn’t texted back or read his messages yet.

A frown paints his features knowing that you were sick, but he makes another mental note to finally buy you that sybian now that his most recent paycheck had come in with it’s overtime bonuses. There were only a few more days until Namjoon came back which meant his extra pays would be over, a sad sigh escaping his lips at the thought.

The day gruels on; Mondays were always the slowest days for the roller rink which meant Seungcheol spent most of the time cleaning skates and bumming snacks from the concession stand usually. He tries to not pry deeper into Jeongguk’s friends but the curiosity eats him alive so he makes an effort to stay away from the younger male for the rest of the day, this time.

Instead, he spends the day hiding in the employee break room any time he gets; only leaving when Yoongi decides to hide in there himself.

Your head feels like it’s going to spin off of your shoulders once you sit up in bed. The sun sits low in the horizon from what you can see through your bedroom window; noting that it must’ve been the late afternoon already.

You’d woken up with chills, head fuzzy when you’d sat up earlier in the morning. Knowing that you were at least somewhat sick, you quickly wrote up a little memo on your homepage letting your viewers know that there wouldn’t be a show later in the evening. Afterwards, you had quickly downed medicine before curling up under your sheets and going back to sleep. You’d vaguely been aware of your phone ringing on the nightstand next to your bed, but you prioritized sleeping instead, knowing that you had to get better before the weekend came.

You groan once you ease yourself off of your bed, dragging your feet as you make your way to the bathroom in hopes of a warm bath to make yourself feel better.

It’s almost 5PM which means it’s almost time for Seungcheol to finally go home. He checks his phone one more time before he pockets the device, putting away the last few pairs of rollerskates before he starts making his way towards the backroom.

“Hey! ‘Cheol-hyung, can you come over here!?” Jeongguk yells over the music, arms waving him down frantically before he clocks out.

Seungcheol walks over, noting an unknown male standing with him. “Yes? Did you need help?”

“This guy, sorry I forgot your name?” The male laughs, eyes forming crescents when he smiles brightly at Jeongguk. “It’s Seokmin.”

“Right, right. Seokmin is asking if we’re hiring?” Jeongguk ends with a head tilt, unsure of the answer himself.

Seungcheol bites the inside of his cheek. Technically yes, they were understaffed even with Namjoon around. But Namjoon was also technically the one in charge of overseeing hiring positions. And while they technically should’ve hired more staff, that also meant Seungcheol’s overtime bonuses would be cut anytime they actually had the appropriate amount of staff.

“Uhhhh… I--I don’t think so? I’m not the one in charge. Our manager that decides staff and hiring positions is out of town indefinitely so…” Seungcheol trails off, hoping Seokmin gets the hint.

“Ahh… Should I come back another time then?” Seungcheol nods, frowning slightly. “Sorry ‘bout that man. But hey, why don’t you leave your contact info so we can call you? So you don’t have to keep coming back.”

Seokmin nods, beaming at the older male.

“Sure, that’d be great! Thanks!”

Seungcheol only feels slightly bad when he gets home that night, praying karma doesn’t kick his ass later for lying.

On days when you cancel your show are the days Seungcheol realizes he needs more hobbies than watching your cam shows and gaming all night.

Not that it’s a bad thing, he thinks, just that he could supplement his life with more.

He places an order for a few cookbooks alongside the order for the sybian, soft chuckles spilling from his lips when he realizes what an odd array of things he’s ordered.

Seungcheol manages to fill his night with meaningless tasks; finally cleaning his PC and settling in to watch a movie while he polishes off an entire pizza. He checks his phone a few more times, noting no new messages and he wonders if you’re really okay. A lightbulb goes off in his head, power walking back to his PC as he opens a new browser.

He bites his lip, typing in ‘j__min’ in the search bar to see what comes up. By nature, the username is unfortunately a lot more common than he anticipates and he ends up rifling through a lot of dead ends before he comes upon the profile on the same camming website you used and an instagram that seemed to be updated fairly regularly.

“Let’s see…”

Your body feels hot all over. Pin pricks on your fingertips as a bead of sweat trickles down your temple.

Now, you didn’t feel sick, you just felt incredibly insatiable. Again.

You weren’t sure if it was because your body had adjusted to a certain schedule, but you can’t help the way you toss and turn in bed; thighs rubbing together in hopes of alleviating the growing wetness between them.

Checking the clock, you note it’s already 10PM, close to when you’d normally be doing your show. You sigh, pushing your sweaty hair out of your face as you reach for your phone on the nightstand. You immediately notice a few text messages from Seungcheol; frowning when you notice the text messages were from the morning.

cheollie ✨: hey, baby :( saw your note, i hope you’re okay.

cheollie ✨: make sure to drink a lot of water and take medicine!

cheollie ✨: don’t push yourself too hard either okay?

The messages end there and you pout, unsure what to even say now that it had been hours since he’d texted.

babygirl 🍒 : cheollie… i only saw ur msgs now 🥺

babygirl 🍒 : im sorryyyyy i was sleeping so long but i feel better now!!

Seungcheol closes all his browser tabs before he realizes it, a smile on his face when he sees you’ve responded.

‘That’s okay, I’m just glad you’re okay and feeling better. Promise me you drank tons of water?’

He feels giddy, palms sweaty as he grips his phone.

babygirl: mmhmm! i did… i don’t even feel sick anymore 🥺 but…

babygirl: dunno… i’m feeling needy again… i think my body is used to my usual schedule...

Seungcheol’s body thrums with newfound energy and arousal at your leading comments. He’s unsure of what to say next, fearing he was going to say too much. But his phone pings again, eyes quickly flitting over your messages.

babygirl 🍒 : if ur busy its okay but

babygirl 🍒 : do u think we could cam? just u and me?

babygirl 🍒 : only if ur free tho!!

His fingers are tingling when he sends his reply, making it short and sweet before he places his phone down and makes sure his PC is running smoothly.

‘Of course, you know I’m always here when you need me. :)’

It takes a few minutes for you and Seungcheol to set up your respective spaces and in the meantime, you grab your laptop, propping it open on the bed next to you as you lay in front of it. You had debated on using your better camera which you used for camming, but you didn’t want it to be set up like a cam show.

Instead, you wanted a more intimate and casual video call with Seungcheol, so you made sure your webcam worked fine as you placed it on the sheets.

‘Video Call Incoming…’

You can’t help the blush that coats your skin nor the lust that fills your body as soon as you accept his call; his somewhat blurry figure coming into view.

“Hey, sweetheart!” Seungcheol beams at you through the grainy camera and you already feel yourself clenching around emptiness, words caught in your throat at how handsome he was and how truly enticing his voice was. “H-hi!” Rubbing your thighs together, you peer at the camera shyly. “I--wow, the pictures really… You’re so much more handsome on v-video.” You giggle slightly, leaning in closer to your laptop to get a better view of the silvery-blue haired male.

Seungcheol’s deep laugh filters through the speakers and your toes curl against the sheets.

“You should see me in person, maybe I’ll look even better then.”

You don’t deny that one bit; your own hands already itching to touch yourself. “Oh? Is that an invitation~?”

Seungcheol’s eyes pierce the camera, licking his own lips as you watch him snake a hand down into his sweats.

“If you want it to be, sweetheart. But tell me about you, how are you feeling? Have you eaten already?”

Gulping, you watch as his hand seems to work slowly and out of view. “I--um, I feel b-better just… Dunno, guess my body’s just used to, um, y’know… A-and I haven’t really had much of an appetite...” You trail off, head still fuzzy from the cold medicines and now, Seungcheol.

In a roundabout way, it almost feels like you’re watching him do a show for you as you watch him slowly get off.

“I’m glad you’re feeling better, baby. But you know you should try to eat, okay? I don’t want you to get even sicker.” You nod, fingertips already at the edge of your sleep shorts.

“I--c-can I touch myself too?” Seungcheol laughs lightly, nodding as he tilts his head back. “Of course, you don’t need to ask me for permission, baby.”

You grin at him, sitting up as you reposition the laptop. Your hand slides underneath a pillow, grabbing the small bullet vibrator you kept there. “Do you always keep a toy handy?” His voice is airy, teasing in the way he asks.

“Mmhmm~ You never know when you’ll need it~” You sing-song, shimmying your sleep shorts and panties off before you spread your legs in front of the camera.

The air gets knocked out of Seungcheol the second you spread your legs for him and him alone and he can’t help but imagine all the things he wanted to do with you. He watches as you tease yourself, fingertips only grazing across the areas he knew you wanted to be touched the most.

“I can’t wait for us to finally fuckin’ meet.” He grits out.

A moan floats through the speakers of Seungcheol’s gaming PC, your saccharine voice music to his ears. “M-me too, wanna know what you’d do to me~” You giggle afterwards, pressing the vibrator to your clit as you spread your legs wider for him to see. Seungcheol’s hand around his cock tightens as he watches, an appreciative smirk on his face.

“Oh sweetheart, what wouldn’t I do to you.” You can’t help but slide your fingers through your wet folds listening to Seungcheol’s voice, whimpering when you finally slide a finger in. “Yeah? What would be the first thing? Tell me, ‘Cheollie~”

Even through the webcam quality, you can see the way Seungcheol’s eyes glaze over in complete pleasure. He licks his lips once, leaning in close so that you can hear him clearly.

“I know you probably think I’d get straight to the filthy shit, huh? Pin you to your bed and fuck you until you forget your own name or tie you up to the bedposts and make you beg for me to fuck you. But I wouldn’t. Because I wanna worship your fuckin’ body. I’d take it nice and slow with you, give you as many orgasms as you want.”

“F-fuck, Seungcheol, I–”

“You could use me for your pleasure, y’know? You deserve it. You’re such a good girl. I’d give you anything you fuckin’ want if you’d let me.”

Your choked moans have Seungcheol working his cock faster; nothing on his mind except for you and his impending orgasm. “Oh g-god, Seungcheol, I--fuck, yes, I want that~ I want you to--to make me cum as many times as I w-want!” You mewl, easily working in another finger as you pump the digits inside your pussy.

He smirks when he sees your grip on the vibrator loosening, knowing that you were already too lost in the pleasure to keep the toy on. “And I’d let you. Maybe I’d make you cum on my tongue first. Or would you want my fingers?”

“B-both! Puh--please…” You whine, legs threatening to clamp shut. You curl and scissor your fingers, thrusting them knuckle deep inside yourself as you chase the pleasure that overtakes your senses. “Please, ‘Cheol, tell me more~”

You watch through the camera as Seungcheol pushes his sweats down enough to get his cock into view; mouth watering as you watch it curve up to his lower abdomen.

“I know how much you love being doted on and being taken care of… So after I make you cum all fuckin’ night, you know I’d take care of you. Make sure you’re comfortable and cuddle with you when you’re tired.” His hips cant up into his closed palm, a soft groan on his lips. “And then when we wake up, I’ll eat you out. Nice and slow so you know it’d be worth it.”

Seungcheol smirks, smearing the precum all over his shaft. “But I also know you like it rough and you like being punished like a bad girl. You like the idea of being tied up and teased and being fucked nice and hard too. I could take it nice and slow, build up the pleasure for you. Or I can take it nice and slow and tease you, I’d make you sit on my cock ‘n make you wait for it ‘til you’re begging me. Or maybe you would want an audience? Let them see you fall apart on my cock when you’re desperate to cum.”

You press the vibrator against your clit again, Seungcheol’s name falling out of your mouth in a blubbering mess. “Oh--I--!!”

Your legs clamp shut, fingers halting their movements as you cum hard around your fingers. Seungcheol watches as your legs shake, his own hand running up and down his cock in quick motions as he chases his high too. You vaguely hear him groaning your name; the ringing in your ears overbearing as your orgasm continues to wash over you.

The sound of your quick and shallow breaths mix with Seungcheol’s over the speakers as the two of you catch your breath. You slip your fingers from inside of you, wincing when you turn off the toy and toss it to the side.

“Fuck, baby, I--”

“Y-yeah…” You quietly lick your fingers clean, knowing that Seungcheol’s watching. “I… that was the first time I… did that with s-someone…” You giggle tiredly, wiping the rest of your sticky fingers on your shirt.

“Really? Never?” Seungcheol’s surprised expression makes you giggle; his eyes round and mouth wide open as he leans closer to his webcam.

“Mmhmm! Just, y’know, it’s--it’s hard to get close to people sometimes…”

You had mentioned it off-handedly once while the two of you had been texting, that most of the dates you’d been on hated the fact that you cammed. There was always a possessive aura that was present and while Seungcheol would sometimes get a little jealous himself, he also knew it was your livelihood and how you supported yourself.

“Ah, yeah, I can understand.”

The two of you sit in a content silence, Seungcheol reaching for a few tissues to clean off the drying cum on his abdomen.

“Hey, ‘Cheol?”

“Yeah?” He peers up at the camera through his lashes, blinking rapidly as he watches you lay back down in front of your laptop.

“About what you said… earlier…” You pause, shyness overtaking once again. “I--Would you want to meet up? Like, for real? I mean--not--not like tomorrow or something but... Y’know, we can start planning?”

Any words that come after that turn into radio static in Seungcheol’s head and he can feel his pupils shaking, nervousness already bubbling up inside of him at the prospect of actually finally maybe getting to meet you.

“Seungcheol? ‘Cheollie? You okay?”

Fuck.

“Huh? Yeah, yeah! I’m cool, I’m good, sorry, that--that caught me off guard.”

He watches as you talk animatedly, mind already going a mile a minute as he thinks over everything that needed to be done before then.

“I’m really excited to meet you, ‘Cheollie!”

#cherrybomb!cheol #seungcheol smut #scoups smut #seventeen smut #svt smut #svt scenarios #svt imagines #seventeen imagines #seventeen scenarios #scoups imagines #seungcheol imagines #scoups scenarios #seungcheol scenarios #scoups #seungcheol

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prettywordsyouleft · 4 years ago

Text

MonX Hospital | Changkyun

Pairing: Im Changkyun x reader

Genre: lab technician – hospital au / romance / strangers to lovers

Warnings: medical terms, and the word “blood” is used a lot, considering Changkyun’s profession, illness.

Word count: 4417

Turning around to the next tray of samples to check, Changkyun stopped for a moment after reading the name on the adjoining paperwork. Working at MonX Hospital as a Laboratory Technician meant he could process samples from the same patients at least twice within his working week. It shouldn’t stand out as anything important to him, yet when he saw your name for the eighth time in the past two weeks, Changkyun found himself a little stunned. There were several other technicians in this department who could have processed your blood work but it seemed to always end up in his batches.

“Everything alright?” his co-worker Bora questioned and Changkyun snapped out of his thoughts, however, his brows remained furrowed.

“Yeah, I’m just getting familiar with this patient’s blood samples.”

Bora grinned. “That sometimes happens. I like to think of it as a sense of fate for a technician to see the same person’s samples during their stay. It’s a pleasure to watch as things improve for the patient through their continued testing.”

As Changkyun waited for the results from the automatic analyser to be transferred to the computer he was monitoring, he didn’t hold the same optimism as Bora did. He had been steadily watching the decline in your numbers over the past two weeks. And when the results appeared, his shoulders dropped.

“There’s an abnormality in these results,” he murmured, and Bora swivelled her chair around so she could see the screen. As a technologist, she was more experienced in looking at results such as these. Still, Changkyun could tell the levels to your iron and blood oxygen count were low.

You would no doubt need a transfusion today.

“Just remember that doing these tests are what will help this patient get the right treatment for a quick recovery.”

Changkyun nodded softly. However, your results bothered him for the rest of the morning and he even spent some time staring at a sample under the microscope just to find exactly where the abnormality was. He was invested for some reason and hoped he could find a way to see your numbers improving each second day instead of dropping.

Resigned, he stepped out for a coffee break in the hospital’s public cafeteria, watching as a patient rested her head against a windowpane. She looked far too pale to be away from her room, though she smiled when the sun danced over her skin.

He couldn’t help himself and sat at the table next to her. “Are you here for the sun?”

“After being locked up in this place for two weeks, I’ve finally found a spot where I can get direct sunlight. It’s too nice a weather lately to be cooped up inside so this is my happy medium.”

“I hate to break it to you but you know you can’t absorb vitamin D through a windowpane, right?”

The patient looked at him with a heavy pout which made him regret speaking the fact out loud. “Really? Is it only if I go outside? I’m not allowed out though…”

“Sorry,” he said apologetically. “I once was stuck inside recovering from a really bad virus and used to sit by the window every day until my father, who is a scientist, told me otherwise.”

Peering at his badge, she nodded. “I guess it’s now a bit of a like father like son moment then. He broke your heart and now you’re breaking mine, Im Changkyun.”

Changkyun cringed and waved a hand in dismissal. “I really didn’t mean-”

“It’s fine, I’m teasing you. Are you a doctor?”

“No, I work in the lab.”

“Doing what?”

“Running tests on the samples we receive.”

“Like blood tests?” she asked and Changkyun nodded. She then smiled warmly. “Maybe you’ll have come across mine.”

“Maybe.”

“If you can figure out what’s wrong with me, I’d ask you out on a date, you know.”

Changkyun, having taken a sip from the coffee mug, spluttered it everywhere. “Wh-what?!”

“I’m kidding, of course,” she remarked, looking back outside. “The doctors keep saying that monitoring my blood samples will find the answer to why I’m so sick but all that keeps happening is-”

“Y/N!” a voice called out and Changkyun let go of the mug he was holding, gaping at the patient now being fussed over by a distraught relative, the wheelchair she was sitting in now being wheeled away.

Your wheelchair.

It was you, the person he had been staring at under a microscope all morning long. Well, your blood sample at least. He couldn’t believe that the mystery in the lab had appeared in front of him right now. It was his first time meeting a patient in the flesh like this.

“Wait!” he called out fruitlessly and you turned back, shifting around to grin at him.

“I hope you can find what’s wrong with me, Mr Technician! If you do, I’ll go on a date with you!”

Glancing down at the coffee starting to run off the side of the table and then at your departure, he groaned, reaching out for a stack of napkins to clean up his mess.

Changkyun was hopeful this wouldn’t be the last time he saw you outside of the laboratory.

His daily trips for the rest of the week to the cafeteria didn’t bring you back into his presence. Your samples hadn’t been as regular as before and when you did turn up in his batches on Thursday, he smiled when he saw he had predicted right. Your iron and blood levels had rapidly increased, indicating you had received transfusions of both. You would no doubt be feeling a bit better after receiving the treatment, though he couldn’t be sure since you hadn’t returned to the cafeteria since that day. Had his pointing out about the sun having no effect stopped you? Or was it the relative who acted as if you were too fragile to be around others that had prohibited your return?

It was strange. He had never found himself so interested in another human before like this. You weren’t someone who matched his typical type in women, but Changkyun couldn’t deny you captivated him either.

Was it the added bonus that he had seen what your cells looked like up close? Shuddering with the rather creepy thought, Changkyun tried to forget about you. He knew he couldn’t, though. He was too invested in helping find a reason for your illness, as a professional of course.

“It’s not because of the date offer,” he mumbled to himself, ears growing hot despite his outspoken stance.

Though, he wondered if you actually had meant it since you mentioned it twice.

Another two weeks went by and by that time, your samples were almost back to how they had been before the transfusions. The doctors hadn’t figured out anything, he concluded. And every time he ran the automated analyser or looked at a sample on a slide, Changkyun couldn’t figure what was causing your cells to be abnormal. Even after talking with a pathologist for better understanding, there was little to go on aside from having a type of anaemia. But even the more experienced people couldn’t decide on which type it was.

You were a mystery to everyone.

And strangely, he missed you.

“I know you’ve worked extra today, but reckon you could go pick up some samples for me? Dora fell down a set of stairs an hour ago and is in orthopaedics so can’t collect the samples from wards fifteen and sixteen that we need to test tonight.”

Changkyun nodded at Bora. “I can do that.”

“Good, after you fetch them you can go home.”

“How kind of you to let me go like that,” he cheekily replied and Bora laughed.

“Well, I could make you stay on even longer and-”

“Ten hours is enough!” he chimed, diving to door to the department. “I’ll get the samples and then get out of here.”

“Less talk, more movement, Changkyun!”

He chuckled as he headed to the elevators in the lobby to take up to the floor needed. He thanked the nurse after retrieving the samples from ward sixteen, heading across the foyer to the opposite ward. Whistling softly as he walked to the nurse’s station, Changkyun glanced lazily around the ward, skidding to a stop when he noticed your name on the wall. Blinking rapidly, he went towards the door when a nurse caught his attention.

“Are you here to collect the samples?”

“Uh, yeah,” he distractedly answered, smiling weakly. Tearing his eyes reluctantly from your door, he followed the nurse to her station and waited for the package. Changkyun went to walk off, only retracing his steps back to the nurse. “Is room three allowed visitors?”

“Miss L/N?” she spoke and he nodded. “She has restricted access at the moment due to a family request.”

“Ah, that answers that then,” he murmured and then smiled back at the nurse. Thanking her, he then headed back down the hallway, his feet dragging outside your door. He craned his neck as if that would gain him better access to seeing you again. Your blinds were shut and only a small window in the door allowed him a brief look into your space. Sighing, he began to move again when he spotted you coming back into the wardroom.

You were walking this time, albeit with the help of an IV stand. You grinned. “Well if it isn’t Mr Technician.”

“Changkyun,” he corrected awkwardly and clamped his eyes shut. “I mean, please call me Changkyun.”

“Are we one a first name basis now?” you wondered with an animated smile. “I guess you already know mine. Sorry about the other week. My Aunt is a bit over the top. I’m all the family she has left so me being sick has sent her into a perpetual meltdown.”

“It’s fine, though I did wonder if you went in search of other places around the hospital for vitamin D.”

“Do you know, they’re supplementing it through this bad boy to me,” you mentioned, patting the IV machine. “Along with a multitude of other things.”

“Still no definite answer to what’s going on?” he asked and you gave him a wry smile.

“That would be too easy, now wouldn’t it? Every day they propose something else, and then take it back. I wonder how hard medical school must be if they can’t seem to collectively come up with an answer.”

“I don’t blame you for being frustrated.”

You shrugged and then pointed at him. “What about you? How’re my samples looking?”

“I’m struggling to figure out the abnormally. My whole team has looked at it and have suggested a few things but equally can’t come to a conclusion.”

You giggled. “I feel so exposed. Everyone gets a look at me under a microscope except me.”

“Maybe one day you could too,” Changkyun blurted out without much thought, scrunching his face up in realisation. “Uh, I mean not many people would-”

“Can I? Would I be allowed to?!” you wondered, stepping closer to him with a bright expression. You seemed hopeful and who was he to knock you down for that. Changkyun was nodding before he even realised it.

“Sure. I’ll make sure you can.”

You grinned, patting his arm as you passed him to go towards your room. “Sounds like it’s a date.”

It took a lot of convincing and doing the dirty jobs around the lab for an entire week before Bora agreed to let you look at your own blood sample. Bora gave Changkyun a pointed look. “You’re invested in this case, you know.”

“I know.”

“Did you seek the patient out first or-”

“We met by chance, I swear. I’m not going to go against professional conduct and privacy clauses. Further, if you hadn’t of sent me to go retrieve those samples-”

“Okay, blame me, it’s my fault!” she concluded with a shake of her head, a loose grin spreading out her lips. “You’re lucky I’m a hopeless romantic, Changkyun.”

“Wait, I wasn’t, I’m not…” Flustered with his supervisor’s reaction to his request, he fanned a hand at his face, trying to express that it wasn’t anything like that. Bora didn’t buy it and when Changkyun went to collect you for the scheduled visit, he felt hot under his collar.

Why was his good deed being taken as anything more than that?

However, when he reached your room, he stopped in the doorway, finding you out of your pyjamas and in a floral dress instead. You spun around, carefree.

“What are-- I mean… Woah.”

“Thank you,” you said with a broad smile. “I hoped you’d like it.”

“Why did you get dressed up?” he asked hastily, glancing down at his usual work attire and lab coat.

You giggled. “You look handsome for our date too.”

“Oh, this isn’t a date.”

“Didn’t you offer me to come with you to the lab?”

“Yes, but-”

“And didn’t I agree and say it’s a date?”

He nodded quickly. “You keep joking around with that and-”

“Hospital life is boring, let me enjoy experiences like this, hm?” you pleaded and Changkyun bit at his bottom lip before nodding again, holding out his arm for you to take. You were delighted by his chivalry and swooped in around it, clasping his lower arm gently. And you practically skipped at his side all the way to the lab.

You were gracious during the visit. You complimented his team and made them smile, everyone becoming more comfortable with the idea of a patient in the lab. You asked questions and Bora was in her element answering them for you. You were engrossed by the process of their work and by the time Changkyun took you to the back office where he had set up a microscope for today out of the way from the rest of his team, you were buzzing.

“This is amazing. You do so much here!” you breathed, taking a seat next to him in awe. “I’ll never complain about getting another blood test taken again.”

Changkyun looked at your bruised skin around the underside of an elbow and instinctively reached out to run his fingers over it. “You’ve had so many.”

“Those aren’t even the places they get it from me right now,” you lamented, patting his hand gently all the same. “I’m okay if it means I’m helping you all find whatever it is you can in my samples to help me get better.”

“Speaking of samples, should we look at yours now?” he asked after a visible swallow, reaching forward to the equipment and turning it on. He looked through the ocular lens and fiddled with the machine until he was satisfied with the setup. Changkyun then gestured for you to take a look.

You turned timid as you did so, quietly staring into it.

“This is your most recent sample,” he told you and you didn’t answer. Feeling more confident than you in the situation, Changkyun expertly changed settings of the magnification for you and then took the slide out and replaced it with another. “This is a healthy blood sample. Can you see the difference?”

“Kind of. Can you swap them a couple of times so I can get a better understanding?” you asked quietly and he did that for you, hearing you sigh when you were looking at your own again. “So this is why I’m sick?”

“It indicates you have an abnormal cell structure right now, yeah.”

Lifting your eyes from the lens, you glanced curiously at Changkyun. “Are you allowed to show me the other blood sample like this? I mean, I get seeing mine, but another patient-”

“It’s mine,” he confessed with a short laugh. “So you don’t have to worry about any privacy clause.”

“You drew your own blood just to show me this sample?”

“Well, it made sense to have a second slide. In experiments, we always have a control slide when presenting variables and-”

Your lips cut off his explanation then, pressing softly into his. Before he could truly register that you had kissed him, you pulled away, covering your mouth with a hand.

“I uh, I was touched, that’s all,” you quickly told him, turning away from him to recover. Changkyun cleared his throat noisily and then stood up.

“Is there a reason why you’re not allowed to go outside?”

Frowning at his random question, you nodded. “Too many people are out there.”

“Tomorrow at lunchtime, don’t make plans,” he announced and you eyed him carefully. Changkyun, emboldened with your kiss, smiled warmly at you. “I know where you can get direct sunlight without anyone bothering you.”

Admittedly, it had taken Changkyun all this time to find a place where you could access the sun without technically leaving the hospital grounds or leaning out a window to do so. He hadn’t at first understood why he started searching, ruling it down to his logical side needing to find an answer to the question proposed in his mind. But as he helped you up the final metal stairs to the rooftop, Changkyun knew the reason he had searched for this was because he liked you.

A whole lot.

“Wow,” you breathed at the view when you came to a stop at his side, squinting under the bright midday sun. “It’s beautiful up here.”

“I checked with your doctor and also with some medical studies and its safe for twenty minutes for us to just sit here and soak in the sun,” he said and you grinned, going over to the bench on the rooftop and sat down.

You then removed your cardigan and offered your arms out to the light. “Heavenly.”

“I thought you might like this.”

“I should have kissed you sooner if it would lead to this,” you teased as he sat down beside you. “I also have a regret from yesterday’s visit.”

“You do?”

Nodding, you scooted around and promptly laid your head in his lap, dangling your arms and legs out to the warmth from above. You peeked through an eye at his evident surprise from your move and giggled. “You blocked the sun from that side.”

“Oh, so this is merely strategic?”

“And more comfortable,” you admitted, nestling into his thigh some.

Changkyun smiled. “What was your regret?”

“You’ll think I’m mad.”

“Well, you’re certainly not normal,” he quipped and you whined outlandishly. Chuckling, he found himself brushing your hair away from your face so the sun could reach that too. You stilled, looking up at him.

“I like you.”

“I like you too,” he admitted with a shy smile, your own splitting your lips until you were grinning giddily.

“Would you like me even if I wasn’t sick? I’m sure as a medical professional you probably find what you see under the microscope more fascinating than my actual form but-”

“No, it’s not like that at all,” he cut in, still smoothing your hair back from your face. “I like you. Not your illness, not what I see from my work. I can’t deny that I’m invested in seeing the changes to your tests, but that’s just because I saw them before I met you in person. I was invested before I found you trying to soak in sun through a window.”

“Don’t remind me of that embarrassing moment,” you exclaimed, mortified. Throwing a hand over your face to hide your emotions, Changkyun pried it away and held it instead. Your expression evened out and you started to smile again. “You knew my name before you knew me. And you knew a lot more too, I guess.”

“I’d rather get to know you like this though.”

“Me too.”

You sat up suddenly, almost bashing into Changkyun’s chin in the process. Sheepishly flashing him an apologetic smile, you held up your index finger. “That’s right, the regret!”

“You mean not telling me how you felt yesterday wasn’t the regret?”

“I’m pretty sure when I kissed you, it showed you,” you countered and Changkyun rubbed at his neck with his other hand awkwardly. You then looked at him and grinned. “I wanted to wear that!”

“What?”

“Your lab coat!” you explained, tugging at the sleeve of it. “I was in the lab and I didn’t once put one on!”

“Well, you looked so pretty in your dress, why cover it up?”

“Because! Oh, you won’t understand because playing dress-up as a doctor isn’t fun like it is for everyone else who isn’t in the health sector professionally.”

“I’m not a doctor,” he reminded and you rolled your eyes.

“Still, you get to wear a white coat of importance! Let me try it on now.”

“What about the sun?” he asked and you stood up, bouncing around impatiently, almost pulling it off of him when he shrugged it down his shoulders. Slipping it on, you giggled triumphantly and spun around in it. Of course, it was too big and made your child-like request even more obvious. He laughed heartily then, the magic of the moment making his heart soar further for you.

You were right. For him, the lab coat was simply part of his work attire, nothing more. He saw no joy or importance in wearing it since he did so every workday. However, watching you enjoy it made it feel special.

Until you stumbled in your excitement, reaching for your head as you continued to lose your balance. Changkyun lurched towards you, catching you before the ground did. “Y/N, are you okay?”

“Just a little dizzy. I guess I went too far.”

“Let’s get you back to your room and get a nurse check your stats, hm?” he offered and you didn’t argue, leaning into his side as he helped you back down the stairs. Once back in your ward, you slipped off his coat and climbed under the blankets, smiling weakly.

The transformation bothered him. Upstairs you were carefree and empowered. Now back under your stark white sheets, you looked weak and tiny. Changkyun blinked back his emotions.

You smiled sadly. “Looks like reality came back for us. Go do amazing things, Changkyun. You’re the one with the power to do so. I’m back where I belong now too.”

He was determined to find a way to make you better again.

“I’ve got it!”

“You have?!” Bora asked immediately, scooting backwards to his station and taking a look at his findings. She grinned. “You bloody have too.”

“Pathology needs to get onto this right away and then the doctors will act upon it, right?” he asked, hope building within his chest. She nodded once and he sent the files through to the team, marching out of the department and over to pathology to follow up.

It hadn’t been easy, and after being in the hospital for over three months now, Changkyun wished he had been able to source the correct abnormality in your tests faster. However, the main thing was they had a definite answer now. You had an autoimmune disease that had triggered the mysterious illness. And whilst knowing that didn’t mean you would get better and be healthier than before, it did give answers. And answers could lead to the right medication to support your health to improve and to help you live with your condition.

Answers meant discharging once better as well.

You stood in the doorway of the department, grinning brightly at Bora who welcomed you in. Changkyun hadn’t seen you yet, still focused on his work. But he stirred as soon as he heard your voice.

“Sorry to interrupt,” you said, looking around the department until you caught his gaze. You slowly grinned. “I just happened to be discharged today and I need to thank the technician who found the answer for my diagnosis.”

He didn’t care about the rest of his team jeering at him right now, getting up from his seat and approaching you. Of course, you already knew of his findings since your treatment began three weeks ago. However, you attempted to keep a straight face as Changkyun stopped in front of you.

“You see, when I was terribly sick, I ran into a lab technician who I told I’d go on a date with him if he helped me get better. I’m here to collect on that date.”

“I thought you were joking,” he murmured and you grinned.

“Oh no, if anything, I asked for the date because you were handsome, not holding onto any hope that you would actually help find the reason for my illness.” You wrapped your arms around his neck and Changkyun walked you out into the hallway, closing the door and the deafening noise out behind him.

He leaned in closer. “Well, I guess I do deserve a reward for my hard work.”

“When can you leave?”

“I think I have some extra hours up my sleeve that I can use to leave work now.”

“Oh good because I want to go on a very long date with you.”

“How long?”

“How much time can you give me?”

Changkyun’s lips were so close to yours now, he merely hummed and you shivered with delight. “How about as long as you want.”

“I’ll be greedy, you know. I’ll want all of your time.”

“I have to work,” he mentioned sadly and you nodded.

“And I have a lot of therapy to attend.”

“But outside of those hours?” he wondered and you pressed into him, kissing him with demand.

It wasn’t his first or even his second kiss with you. And Changkyun knew it wouldn’t be his last either. However, it was one he knew he’d remember forever, the way you tasted so sweet from pure happiness to be leaving the hospital and with him as well.

Finally, you stepped back just enough to catch your breath and answered. “Outside of work and therapy, I hope you can give me all your time. I don’t want to stop repaying you for the rest of my life.”

“Can I ask a question?” he breathed and you nodded. “Did you really mean it about wanting to date me from the first day you saw me?”

“Now that would be telling.”

“So it was a joke!” he whined and you giggled, stepping up on your toes to kiss him again.

“No, I did think you were handsome. I just didn’t believe I’d get this lucky. A cure and a boyfriend. What more could a girl ask for?”

_________________

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mmimagine-40 · 4 years ago

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An Omega’s feelings

Alpha!Sam and Bucky x Omega!Reader

Friendship Omega!Peter Parker x Omega!reader

Sam , Bucky, and Y/n are mated. But this doesn’t going into much detail about it. This is more about a blooming friendship between Peter and the Reader.

Peter sighs quietly as he reads over the article on the tablet. ‘Omega trying to play hero’, an article about a fight Peter was in. During the fight Peter was to slow get a little boy fully out of harm's way. The little boy ended up hurt badly. Thanks to Peter being quick to get him to the hospital the boy lived. Peter , or actually Spider man , went and saw the little boy a few days later. He remembers the family crying and thanking him over and over. Even the little boy smiling so big in the hospital bed thanking him and saying how he was his hero. But still the article hit something deep within him. Even after knowing the boy is okay and after everyone telling him it’s not his fault, he had no control over what happened, it still bugged him. And seeing the things people are saying about it hurt worse. The number one thing , ‘If he was an Alpha that boy wouldn’t have been hurt in the first place’. The stigma that omegas are weak. They shouldn’t be heroes. Peter knows he shouldn’t let it bug him. It’s just Alpha’s who want to keep the idea that they have control and power over omegas. That omegas should be kept weak and only to please their alphas. In today's world that’s not how it goes anymore. Omegas are stepping up showing they can be strong. But there are still those few who try to hold them back and talk down about them. Peter keeps trying to tell himself that they are wrong and that what happened had nothing to with him being an omega. But a small part of him still thinks how much easier it would be to be an Alpha or a Beta. Especially as a hero. He’s the only one he knows who’s an omega avenger or works with shield. There were few but those ones that worked for shield didn’t really do much field work if at all. “Hey Kid, What are you looking at?”, tony asks, snapping Peter out of his thoughts. Peter quickly closes and turns off the tablet, “Nothing. “. He turns back to the papers in front of him. Even though he was quick , Tony still saw the article. The same one he read this morning. As Pepper had to calm him down from tracking the person who wrote it and destroying their life. Although he already has FRIDAY looking into everything about the article as soon as he stepped into the building. Tony started thinking what to do. When a light bulb went off. “Come on kid , let's take a break. There’s someone I want you to meet.”. Peter looked up at him curiously. He thought he had met everyone. He followed Tony to the elevator. “Friday, locate miss L/n please.”, Tony says. “Miss L/n is in the gym with Mr. Wilson and sergeant Barnes. Would you like me to notice them?”. “No , thank you. Just take us to the gym.”. The elevator then started moving down to the gym area. Peter was trying to wrap his mind around where he has heard that name before. L/n...L/n…..Y/n L/n? “Y/n l/n?”, peter asked out loud. Tony nodded, “I was going to introduce you to her tomorrow at the team dinner. But I think now is a good time.”. Peter stands there thinking over her fiel he read a few times. Y/n l/n was raised by her aunt from the age of 7. When seeking a place to stay when they left the home where her aunt's boyfriend kicked them out of, they went to what they thought was a women's shelter. But it was a cover up. Not much else is known about the aunt or what happened. All that is known is they were separated and sold. Y/n along with a bunch of other children were bought by Hydra. From what they can tell Hydra was collecting young omegas for something they were planning. But not much is known about what they were creating only that it failed and was abandoned. Y/n was trained and put through experiments. Not much is known about what they were doing with her either. After years y/n was able to escape. She stayed hidden, till Bucky went searching for her for help. She helps take down some of the biggest hydra bases. Other then that all Peter knows , from what Mr. Stark told him, as she was recovering from some trauma she was still going through. Between that and Peter’s schooling he wasn’t able to meet her yet. But he wonders why Mr. Stark wants him to meet her now. He is going to see/meet her tomorrow. By the time Peter snapped out of his thoughts, he and Tony were already walking into the gym. He could pick up noises of two people fighting before they walked in. And sure enough there was. Sam and Y/n , he made out from her pictures, sparing on the mats. Bucky stood to the side cheering Y/n on. As they get closer they watch Y/n thigh wipe Sam down to the ground. Bucky starts laughing as he claps. “That’s my girl.”, Bucky says handing her a water bottle as he pulls her into him. She blushes as she takes a drink. “I just went easy on her is all.”, Sam says still laying on the ground. Y/n rolled her eyes handing the bottle back to Bucky. She made her way to him holding her hand out for him. “Yeah, Sure. Whatever helps you sleep, babe.”. Sam huffs as he takes her hand getting up. He throws his arm around her shoulders. “I want a rematch.” , he says. Y/n rolls her eyes at him. Tony clears his throat getting their attention. “Tony, what’s up?”, Sam says. “Well me and the kid here were just taking a break and I thought this was a great time to introduce Y/n to Pet-.”. “Peter Parker?”, Y/n asked smiling as she looked at y/n. As he looked up at her that’s when it really hit him. The smell. She was an omega too! “You're an omega?!” Peter couldn’t stop himself from saying. His eyes widen as he realizes what he just said. Y/n just laughed nodding, “Yes , I am. “. “I'm so sorry. I’m peter par-....wait you know who I am?”, he looks at her confused. Y/n smiled and nodded , “Bucky and Sam talk very highly of you. Actually everyone around here does. The way they talked about you I was shocked to find out you were an omega too. I never heard so many Alpha’s talk so highly of an omega before. “. Peter's whole face reddened as he looked at Bucky and Sam. He never knew they talked about him like that or any of the others did too. “Pff ..I..we wouldn’t talk nicely about the spider.” Sam says . Peter and y/n laugh knowing he’s lying. “Mmhmm..That’s why when you two found out Peter was being bullied you two tried to go after the bullies with the rest of the team. “, y/n sasses them. “Only cause only me and Sam can pick on the bug.” , Bucky says. Y/n rolls her eyes at them. “Okay, Okay . Why don’t we leave the two to talk. Pulse I have something to disclose with you two.”, Tony says pulling the two away from the omegas. Y/n laughs shaking her head. “Ignore that. Those two care so much about you. They are just like older siblings.” ,Y/n turns back to Peter. Peter laughs at this. But he couldn’t help still think about her being an omega. “By that look I’m guessing you are still puzzled by the fact that I’m an omega.”, Y/n asked. “ Peter nods. “I’m sorry it’s just I’ve never met another omega hero before. And your files said you are a beta.”. y/n’s heart melts at him calling her a hero. She never felt that way before and thought that everyone still saw her as a threat. Even though her two mates try to convince her otherwise, it’s still hard by the looks she gets from some people. “When Hydra was using me as an assassin they made me take supplements to change my smell. I guess those files never got up dated from when I got here and went off of them. Which is surprising since now I’m mated with Sam and Bucky.”. “Mated?”Peter looks over her neck and sees two bite marks on either side of her neck. Y/n just nodded smiling at him. Peter felt like his face was getting even redder, “sorry I've been so in my head that i guess i’m not noticing things.”. “It’s okay. I’m guessing what’s bugging you is why Tony wanted you to meet me now. Do you want to talk about it?”, Y/n asked. Peter doesn’t say anything just looks up to the three alphas talking some ways away. Y/n turned to see what he was looking at , understanding . Sometimes Omega things can be hard to talk about in front of Alphas. “Are you hungry? Want to go get some lunch?”, Y/n asked him to turn around. Peter looked back to her nodding. Y/n smiled at him nodding her head to follow her. They make their way to the alphas. “ Hey , Me and Peter are going to go out to lunch. “ . Bucky was about to say they would join but Sam grabbed his arm shaking his head. The two need some time alone. “Okay , have fun.” Tony says.

Peter and Y/n head to a little sandwich cafe. They order and then sit down. They talk about some other things while waiting for their food. Peter was really enjoying his time with Y/n. They bonded over Star Wars. Y/n just started watching them and enjoyed them. Peter explained the things she didn’t get. After a bit their food finally comes out. As they start eating Y/n gets serious. “Okay now that I got you opening up, tell me what's bugging you.”. Peter sighs looking down at his food. Not sure what to say. “Is it that stupid article that came out this morning?”, She asked. Peter’s head snapped up. ‘She read that? “It’s okay Peter. I know how it feels to people judging you just because you're an omega. That article was wrong in everything they said. You being an omega had nothing to do with that boy being hurt. No one would have been able to stop what happened. In fact I don’t think any one , alpha beta or even another omega, would have been as fast thinking as you were to get that boy help.”, y/n says reaching out to take his hand. “Thank you, Y/n. Now I see why Mr. Stark wanted me to meet you. It’s nice to talk about the things that bug me as an omega with someone who understands. “.. Y/n nods, “I know how you feel. Alphas are quick to judge. But not all. For example everyone at the tower. They never talk bad about you or down about you. And like I said the way everyone talked about you , I really had no idea or even thought you could be an omega. “. They both let out small laughs. “Sounds like you have been through some bad alphas in your life.” , Peter says. “Yeah, I was an omega born into a family of Alpha’s and Beta’s. No omegas. They believed omegas were weak and useless. They didn’t want me. But not my aunt. She knew I could be something so much more. She was the first person to show not all Alpha’s see us as weak. And that we aren't weak. “, Y/n tries to smile but Peter could see it was broken. “You must miss her. “. Y/n nodded as she thought over the last time she saw her. “I think you should meet my aunt May. She sounds a lot like your aunt. She raised me after my parents death. She also taught me that omegas can be strong. She was why , once I got my powers I decided to use them for good. I don’t regret it. It just sometimes gets hard.”, Peter says. Y/n smiles at him nodding in agree. “I would love to meet her one day.”, Y/n says. They enjoy the rest of their meal talking about random things.

After they were done they made their way back to the headquarters. “Mr. Parker , Tony requested you back to the lab as soon as you got back. He said he needed to discuss something with you” Friday says as soon as they get in the elevator. They spent the ride in silence. Once they got to the lab , Peter turned to Y/n as the doors opened. He pulled her into a hug, “Thank you.”. “Anytime Peter.” , Y/n says as they pull away.

I really like this character I wrote. So look out for more pieces about her and her past. Maybe how she became mated to Sam and Bucky. -MM

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neutral-emerald · 4 years ago

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SILVER THE COSMIC TIME-JANITOR (or: dude, what's with all the alternate futures)

silver the hedgehog has a very simple backstory. he's a kindhearted, sorta-naive but altogether very driven psychic hedgehog here to save the world by time-traveling to the past (also known as present-day) to prevent the apocalyptic future he was born into from coming to pass!

[ID: A screenshot of Silver from Sonic 06. He’s glowing with cyan energy as he flies over a dark, post-apocalyptic city.]

...wait, if he's time traveling 200 years into the past to completely change the shape of the timeline, how do the stars manage to align such that he manages to be born at the exact same point in the new timeline with the exact same genetics? how are his parents born? does silver have parents?? and how does he do this no less than THREE SEPARATE TIMES??!

hey everyone, i'm tumblr user neutral-emerald here to make good on the idea i vaguely gestured at yesterday and point out silver's wildly inconsistent backstory(s) and then explain to you how this isn't just sega playing hopscotch with the concept of time travel, but actually TOTALLY EXPLAINABLE if you don't mind a whole lot of conjecture and "fuck dude i just think it'd be cool."

LET'S GO.

before i get started, a few things to establish.

first, this is about… half serious, tops. it’s less of a theory and more of an observation of something that’s weird and then throwing some possible explanations at it because i am a massive sucker for time-based nonsense. if you wanna take my observations and build your own conclusions, go for it. i’m not your boss.

second, i'm basing my conclusions off of both the games and the idw comics. the conclusions i draw are applicable to either continuity, but the logic does rest a decent amount on the comics, so just a heads-up in case you were expecting pure game canon from this.

and third, i'm working off like half a brain and very intermittent checks of the wiki and cutscene compilations, so there's probably many things i'm missing! if you notice something i said was wildly off-base, go ahead and correct me in the replies and i'll either edit the post or explain to you just how that detail doesn't actually matter, depending on whether it. y'know. matters.

with that out of the way, let's get into the first topic of discussion!

part 1: the future is inconsistent, y'all

now, i'm not sure if you've heard, but in the year 2006 sonic team released this little indie game creatively entitled Sonic the Hedgehog. it was a smash hit, won countless awards, and for some reason went down in history as a messy, incomplete bugfest. but that's not what matters. what matters is that it introduced Silver the Hedgehog.

silver hails from 200 years in the future. the world is a bleak, fiery place, and has been since the monster iblis was unleashed after princess elise's death. silver was born into this world, which we know since it's literally the first thing he says in his story.

[ID: A cropped line from Silver's story in Sonic 06. "This world was devastated before I was born."]

i'm not going to drag you through a beat-by-beat summary of the entire plot of sonic 06, you should know it already. silver meets mephiles, gets lied to about who caused the apocalypse, mephiles yeets him and blaze into the past, he tries to murder Sonic the Hedgehog™, and so on. eventually he helps kill god, and then sonic and elise travel further back in time to kill god even deader so that none of the game ever happened, and the bad future into which silver was born never happened, thus thoroughly scrubbing silver's existence from the timeline!

...until.

sonic rivals.

i'm not going to speak much on sonic rivals, mostly because i'm not super familiar with it. but what matters is that silver is back! he's still from the future, he's still here to change the past, and most importantly he wasn't deleted from existence by the destruction of solaris, unlike everything else from sonic 06 including everyone's memories of it. and obviously, whatever state his future is in, it's not the same as it was in sonic 06.

now, i don't have a single clue what is going on in rivals 2, so do inform me if there's some big information i'm missing from that one. all i know is he's fixing yet another possible apocalyptic future, like always. correct me if i’m wrong, i don’t have the patience to trawl through it myself.

then we've got sonic colors, in which silver is again from the future. notably, he’s definitely not from an apocalypse!

[ID: Some screenshots from the DS version of Sonic Colors, again cropped to just the text. Tails and Silver are talking to each other.

Tails: What's the future you came from like, Silver? Silver: A lot brighter than this. Silver: The sky is blue, and everybody's got a smile.]

sonic generations doesn't add much. again, correct me if i'm wrong, but i don't think we learn anything about what kind of future silver is from, and he's definitely not here to fix it this time. that's sonic's job! he's just hanging out like everyone else.

now, up until this point the future has been reasonably consistent, setting aside my somewhat abstract understanding of the rivals games. there's nothing to say that silver's not coming back in time from the same point in a single timeline, which is the one and only version of the future ever since the destruction of sonic 06.

UNTIL.

[ID: Two panels from the comic Sonic Forces: Stress Test. In the first panel, Silver looks worried as he lands in front of Knuckles, who looks skeptical.

Silver: We've got big trouble! Eggman— Knuckles: How can you be here? I thought you returned to the future?

In the second panel, Knuckles looks away with a self-assured grin, while Silver looks more panicked.

Knuckles: Oh wait— I must be dreaming! Silver: What? No! I've come back with a dire warning from the future!]

i have a lot of issues with sonic forces, especially with how its story is written. something i do NOT take issue with is the supplemental comics, mainly because they are WONDERFUL evidence for my crackpot time travel theory.

like i said, up until this point we don't really know whether silver has been experiencing separate instances of the future, or simply traveling back in time to prevent an also-time-traveling eggman nega from messing things up in the past. but here, we get some very juicy information:

[ID: Knuckles and Silver again. Knuckles has his arms crossed and is looking at Silver, who has a nervous look on his face as he slams a fist on the palm of his other hand.

Knuckles: Come again? Silver: Something happens that brings the world to ruin! But the historical records are sparse or make no sense. I came back to hopefully head off whatever's about to happen and save the future.]

silver travels back in time to prevent a terrible apocalypse. this is not the beautiful future silver came from in sonic colors— but this is the same silver. everyone recognizes him. he recognizes everyone. and yet, the future he came from is different.

part 2: silver is a walking paradox

allow me to remind you of what i pointed out when i was talking about sonic 06. silver was born into the iblis-apocalypse. considering no elaborate timeline nonsense happened to him before the events of the game (by his reckoning) i think we can safely assume he was born like a regular person with parents.

in the first post-06 timeline, silver was probably also born. let's be charitable, acknowledge that sonic team doesn't overthink the butterfly effect like i do, and say that silver was born to the same parents, because the universe likes to keep things nice and simple and contrive itself to make this particular character exist in this time period.

so, it's entirely fair that silver comes to exist in a post-06 timeline at the equivalent point in time, aka 200 years in the future. it's also fair that he travels back in time to prevent some kind of apocalypse, because that's his narrative role! it's what he does. when it's time for him to exist in the story, that's what he's there to do.

what isn't fair is the fact that it keeps happening.

[ID: A panel from the IDW comics. Sonic is stretching his legs while looking faintly exasperated at Silver, who is nervously holding his arm.

Silver: Er… No. I came back because defeating Eggman didn't save the future. Sonic: Couldn't even play along. Had to bring the mood down. Sonic: *sigh* Okay, what happened this time?]

[ID: The following panel, cropped to just Silver's text bubbles narrating over a starry sky.

Silver: When I left, my time had been conquered by the Eggman Empire. Everyone lived in fear, choking on polluted air. Silver: When I went back, the Eggman Empire was gone— but so was everyone else. Silver: There was nothing left. No people, no animals, no machinery. Only water and sparse, metallic plant life.]

allow me to summarize my understanding of all this: silver is from the future. normally, the future is good. sometimes it isn't. when it isn't good, he goes back in time and fixes things, then returns to the future to check if that fixed things.

the least conjecture-y interpretation i can come up with is that sometimes silver will go into the past, then go back to the future but end up in a Bad Timeline and thus go into the past again to fix things. there's no weird warping directly between bad timelines, he only gets there by way of the past.

but that's boring, so here's my PREFERRED interpretation.

silver hails from a good future, but sometimes it just changes. he's unstuck from time— if something weird happens in the past, he's the only one to know that the passage of fate was changed, because he went to bed in one timeline and woke up somewhere categorically worse, and the only way he can fix it is by figuring out just what caused this and going back in time to fix it.

or, to say it in a meme:

[ID: A picture of someone lying in a hospital bed with a nurse standing next to them, edited so that Silver is in the bed.

nurse: sir… you've been asleep for 2 hours silver: oh boy i can't wait to wake up in the same timeline i went to sleep in]

part 3: how did this happen?

it's one thing to point out that silver doesn't experience time like a normal hedgehog, and another thing to explain how and why this happens.

fyi, this is the part where i go wildly off the rails and start saying whatever i want. there's a ton of explanations one could come up with, most probably stemming back to sonic 06. i'm just going to go with my own, and probably not come up with a whole lot of concrete evidence because i'm just spitballing. this is me having a fun time. going "heeheehoohoo time traveling hedgehog go brrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr"

so. something i haven't touched upon is that in all games after sonic 06, silver can time travel. we never see him do it, it's never explained how he does it. all we know is that he's doing it under his own power.

which is kinda odd, don't you think? should he be able to do that?

in sonic 06, we see three mechanisms for time travel. first is the chaos emeralds. if two people perform Chaos Control with a chaos emerald apiece, they open up a swirling rift in the air which can send them to different points in time and space. silver can't be doing that, for obvious reasons— he's only one hedgehog, and he's not exactly running around with a chaos emerald at all times. that can't be how he does it.

second is a time machine eggman built. that obviously can't be it; the machine doesn't exist at all after the timeline gets wiped, and again, silver is doing this on his own. he's actively antagonistic towards eggman, even. absolutely not this one.

third and finally is mephiles, who can make big purple orbs to take himself and passengers to different points in time. this obviously can't be it either, for similar reasons to number 2, right? after all, mephiles is one half of solaris, who was destroyed before he could be split off. he doesn't exist to be silver's time-traveling uber driver.

...right?

well, obviously. i'm not going to try and tell you that mephiles is secretly alive and shepherding silver back and forth between timelines for no reason. that's ridiculous. no, i'm going to try and tell you that silver is mephiles.

or rather, he's solaris. or RATHER, he's the new solaris, sorta-ascended to the role of Time God after the old one got blown out like a birthday candle.

like i said, i'm going wildly off the rails and as such don't have any concrete evidence to explain why it's this instead of something else, but hear me out. after elise blew out the flame of hope, the universe was left in an interesting situation. someone needs to be in charge of the flow of time, but the previous time-god was just unceremoniously destroyed. but all the power and energy of a time-god has to go somewhere, in some form, in some time.

with nothing else to go off of, the role of time-god starts flipping through every notable being it had interacted with. they're all solidly accounted for in the timeline, except for one. silver the hedgehog was born into a timeline that cannot exist. silver the hedgehog does not, and cannot exist. silver the hedgehog interacted quite a bit with both sides of solaris— he spent a substantial amount of time fighting back iblis, and associated with mephiles, even being one of the few people to directly experience his time travel abilities. silver the hedgehog tried and failed to absorb iblis into himself.

here's my theory: after sonic 06, the universe reasserted itself such that silver was the new Solaris. silver is not consciously aware that this is what he is, but he knows that he can time travel. sometimes the timeline will rearrange itself around silver. he is unaffected by this because he is a higher being unaffected by such petty trifles as "an origin" or "paradoxes".

silver the hedgehog probably doesn't have parents. he sprang into existence one day and everyone just kind of went with it, himself included.

oh also something i thought was neat but couldn't think of where to put:

[ID: More cropped dialogue, this time from Team Sonic Racing.

Silver: I'm fine. It's just, something bad is gonna happen. I can't explain it. I just feel it. Blaze: Have your travels through time given you precognition? Silver: I don't know. Maybe they have. Or maybe I'm just thinking too much.]

silver might be becoming psychic in a future-vision kinda way. that, or he’s riddled with anxiety. possibly both.

TL;DR

silver hails from no less than three separate timelines, his existence is a tangled web of who-knows-how-many grandfather paradoxes, and i choose to believe that he's god.

if anyone who cares more about evidence wants to gather up like, little one-off clues that support or conflict with my conclusions, go right ahead. or just throw your own arbitrary headcanons for what's going on with this at me. or incorporate these ideas into an au or something! i just want more people thinking about what the Fuck is up with silver post-06, because by god there is a WHOLE lot of potential packed in there

anyway thanks for reading make sure to like comment and subscribe—

#hey guys check out how hard i can gesture at a corkboard #is it remotely coherent? not a clue! i cannot process my own writing #sonic theory #silver the hedgehog #text #dot txt

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openheart12 · 4 years ago

Text

A New Beginning

Summary: Tony and Michelle are once again thrown back into the chaos that is CTU. The same place that tore their family apart, is the same place where they get their second chance at a life.

WC: 4,441

Michelle never thought she would be standing in front of him in the same place that tore them apart, but here they were. She hadn’t seen him in six months and even though this is the hardest thing she’s had to endure, it was better this way.

Especially since he was the one who asked her to leave.

Her heart ached at the memory she tried to bury deep within her but it always found a way to bubble up to the surface.

They locked eyes and she noticed how much different he looked compared to six months ago, hope fluttered in her chest that maybe he finally cleaned himself up.

If not for her, then for Avery. She deserved to have her father in her life.

Michelle had found out she was pregnant just less than a year after they had gotten married. Both of them were beyond ecstatic although nervous.

Tony had ensured that Michelle stayed out of the field and he only went as a last resort. When they found out they were having a baby girl, a mini Michelle, Tony had been adamant on her name much to Michelle’s dismay.

But when Avery Michelle Almeida made her entrance into the world, during a national security crisis nonetheless, she was deemed perfect and healthy. At six pounds and seven ounces, and nineteen inches long, she already had her parents wrapped around her little finger.

Michelle recalled the moment, remembering how Chapelle was pissed that he had to come in as their replacements, but neither of them had cared in that moment. She remembered all the congratulations they received from their friends, how happy everyone was for them.

CTU had played a big part in the course of their relationship. It was where they met, where they shared their first kiss, where he actually ended up proposing, where they had to come in the middle of their honeymoon, and now the place where their baby was born.

And it was going to be the place where they reunited, unbeknownst to them.

Almost everyone knew of their history so they were inclined to see how the day would go. The people they worked with before knew about their daughter, but the newest employees had no idea. Most of them knew that this was the first time they’ve seen each other in a while since the divorce.

Almost all eyes were on them when she made her way through the bullpen and into the center next to Secretary Heller.

Secretary Heller asked Tony to bring her up to speed and he told her of the events at McLennan-Forrester and Jack and Paul. After he finished, he started to walk away as she called after him.

“Tony, I need the access codes for CTU and Division.”

He nodded and handed them to her, their fingers brushed against each other for a brief second. She thanked him and as she turned around to go, he asked her, “what do you want me to do?”

“Division’s sending over a supplemental list of terrorists who supposedly had contacts with Habib Marwan. Check any names that have been flagged by other agencies, including overseas.”

“Given what’s happening right now, it doesn’t seem like the best use of my time.”

“It has to be done and I’d like you to do it.” She started to walk away when he reached out and gently grabbed her arm.

“Michelle, Jack and Paul have information that could be vital to ending this crisis. I should be helping us find them, Michelle!”

“The last time I saw you, you couldn’t stay sober long enough to keep a job.”

“That was six months ago.”

“This is what I need you to do. If you don’t like it, you can resign.”

He let out a sigh, scratching the side of his cheek. “I’m gonna need a security clearance,” he relented.

“I’ll make sure you get a level three.”

“Level three?” He scoffed. “I used to have a six.”

“Right now, all you need is three,” she turned on her heel and walked into the situation room where a woman was sitting. She was looking through the files in front of her when the woman started speaking to her.

“Is there a problem with Agent Almeida?”

“Not at all.”

“It’s just that Secretary Heller is very sensitive to personal conflicts on the job. I know your history. I know that you guys were married and that he sacrificed his career to save your life, but if this is gonna be a problem-”

Who the hell was this woman, parading around like she knew anything about her and Tony’s relationship. “His being here will not affect my work. I won’t let it. Now, if Secretary Heller wants to speak to me about it, I’ll be more than glad to,” she said, signaling the end of this conversation.

With Sarah gone and Chloe back in play, the two of them found a way to put their personal problems aside and work as a team again. Michelle regretted not listening to Tony’s insight about Jack, knowing that he knew Jack and his tactics better than she did. But she couldn’t tell if she did it out of spite or not and that bothered her because she never let anything interfere with her work.

She tried apologizing, saying that she valued his input, which she did, but the damage had been done and the worst of it was yet to come.

Bill Buchanan strode through CTU and Michelle quickly introduced him to everyone else there. Her and Tony were standing close together talking after their failed attempt at capturing Marwan when Bill walked up next to them.

“Did you secure Marwan yet?”

“No, he must’ve slipped through the perimeter,” Michele explained.

“How the hell could you let that happen?” Bill accused, taking Michelle by surprise.

“It doesn't matter how it happened,” Tony defended. “What matters is that he’s gone and we’re doing everything we can to find him.” He and Michelle might not be together anymore, but he’d be damned if he let anyone talk to her like that, especially since it was a situation out of her control.

“What exactly are you doing to find him?” Bill asked, turning his attention to Michelle.

“We widened the perimeter, set up a search grid, state police and LAPD are conducting a sweep,” she answered as they were interrupted.

A few minutes later, Bill walked up to her, placing his hand on her shoulder. “Listen, um, I’m sorry if I snapped.”

“It’s okay, we’re all under a lot of pressure.”

“You holding up?” He asked softly.

“I’m fine,” she smiled, hoping to convince him and herself of that.

Michelle wasn’t aware that Tony had seen their interaction. Tony knew something had probably transpired between the two and wanted to know the extent of it so he made his way towards Chloe.

“How long has Buchanan been at Division?” He asked her.

“Well, it took awhile to fill Chapelle’s position… six months.”

That’s how long ago she left, he thought. That wasn’t fair and he knew it since he told her to leave. “Where was he before that?”

“Seattle, I think.”

“Seattle?”

“Yeah, that’s where Michelle was posted while you were in jail, right?” Chloe asked, piecing it together. She was one of the few who didn’t know what had happened between Michelle and Tony, it wasn’t her business so she stayed out of it.

“Yeah… thanks.”

Tony had debated on confronting her about it or not and his curiosity ended up getting the better of him. “Michelle,” he called to get her attention, “when were you planning on telling me?”

“About what?”

“About you and Buchanan.”

She immediately became defensive, already knowing she wasn’t going to like where this conversation was headed. “Never because it’s none of your business.”

“Michelle, before you worked with him at Division, you worked with him at Homeland Security restructuring, right?”

“Yeah.”

“We were still married then.”

“Legally… yes.”

“Did you sleep with him while we were married?”

She stared at him in disbelief. “No, I didn’t.”

“But you are now?”

“Like I said, it’s none of your business. You know, it’s not like I have time to do anything between work and raising my daughter,” she retorted.

That jab took him by surprise and he hung his head low and walked away. She felt guilty, but he accused her of cheating on him while they were still married. She couldn’t even look at another man, even now, she was still completely and utterly in love with Tony.

Hours had passed by since their encounter and he wanted to clear the air between them, the tension was at an all time high.

“Michelle,” he began, “I was out of line a couple hours ago about you and Bill. It’s your life and I’ve got no right to judge you.”

“I appreciate that,” she said sincerely.

“And whatever tension there is between us, I would like to apologize for my part in it. I’d like it if we could just let it go so we can do our jobs. Leave the past in the past,” he finished. “And if it would be okay with you, I’d like to be in Avery’s life and I know I don’t deserve it, but she’s all I have left,” he added, sadness lacing his words.

“That sounds good,” she lied with a smile. “I know Ave would love to see you. She misses her daddy.” I miss him too, she thought to herself. Not to mention that she wasn’t ready to let go of their past just yet, she may never be ready to.

“We can talk about it later,” he said before going back to work and she did the same thing.

Both of them seemed to be working together better after their conversation, just like they used to. They became one again, putting their time and effort into the crisis at hand.

“Anything new?”

“Yeah, White House just authorized adding Iowa army reserve units to the ground search.”

“Have they widened the perimeter?”

“Yeah, they locked down a 60-mile radius around the area where the warhead was stolen, but I’m concerned Marwan’s people might’ve managed to sneak it outside that perimeter.”

“Well, we closed all major roads and air traffic immediately, but there is a chance they got it through.”

“Homeland Security’s faxing over casualty projections based on that possibility,” he said just as the fax started to ring.

“That’s probably them right now.”

“Yeah, I’ll get it.”

Another phone started to ring and she answered it, “CTU.”

“I’m calling for Tony Almeida. Who’s this?”

“This is Michelle Dessler, a colleague of his. May I ask who’s calling?”

“The woman he happens to be living with. Is he there?”

She felt as if she had just gotten kicked in the stomach. “Yeah, hold on. It’s for you,” she said, handing him the phone.

“Who is it?”

“The woman you’re living with.” She answered, hurt was evident in her eyes.

“Jen,” he answered with a sigh.

“I’ve been calling everyone we know going crazy looking for you. Then finally I thought maybe Jack Bauer took you back there. God, do you have any idea how worried I’ve been?”

“Yeah, I’m sorry. I should’ve called earlier. I’ve been very busy.”

“Really busy with Michelle Dessler?”

“I’m working, Jen.”

“Oh, for CTU?”

“On a provisional basis, yeah.”

“I thought you hated that place.”

“Things have changed a little.”

“Yeah, I guess they have.”

“Look, Jen, we can talk about this later. Right now, I gotta go. All right?”

“Tony, what’s your ex-wife doing there?”

“Jen, I’m sorry, but I gotta go,” he said before hanging up. He rubbed his face, knowing how big of a jackass he had been earlier. “Michelle, um, I’m sorry you had to find out like that.”

“It’s really none of my business.”

“Yeah, it is,” he countered. She started to walk away and he followed after her. “I should’ve told you I was living with someone else.”

“I don’t wanna talk about this right now.”

“Yeah, well, I do. Listen to me,” he gently grabbed her arm, turned her around, and backed her into the wall. “When you left, everything fell apart. Jen happened to be there for me.”

“You don’t have to make excuses for your relationship.”

“I’m not making excuses. I’m just telling you how it is.”

“Do you love her?” She asked, afraid of his answer.

He didn’t hesitate before answering. “No.”

“Ms. Dessler, the new protocols from DOD just came in. Should I send them to your screen?” Edgar told him, quite aware that he was interrupting something.

“Send them to station sixteen,” she answered and with one last look at him, she walked past him.

She didn’t know how much time had passed since Jen called and she hadn’t talked to Tony since and truth be told, she had been avoiding him to try to sort out her feelings.

Her phone started to ring and she answered automatically, “Dessler?”

“Hey, Michelle, it’s Allison.”

Allison was Avery’s babysitter and panic immediately started to set in after seeing what time it was. “Is Avery okay?”

“Yeah, she’s fine. She just misses you and wants to talk to you. I tried to tell her you were at work, but you know how stubborn she is.”

Michelle smiled for the first real time today, leave it to her daughter to be the reason. “Let me talk to her, I have a few minutes.”

“Momma?” She heard her daughter's tinge voice say.

“Hey, sweetheart. What are you still doing up?”

“I miss you a bunch. When are you coming home?”

“Not for another couple hours, but what if I told you I have a surprise for you when I get home?”

“Ooohhh, what is it?”

“It wouldn’t be a surprise if I told you, now would it?” She laughed at her excitement. “But you have to go to sleep to get it.”

“Okay, okay. I love you, momma.”

“I love you too, baby. I’ll see you soon.” She reluctantly hung up. She swore she had to have the easiest five year old who actually listened to her.

“Everything okay?” She turned around to see Tony’s worried expression.

“Yeah, everything’s fine. That was Avery.”

“Is she okay?” He asked as worry started to set in.

“Yeah, she just wanted to talk.”

“Leave it to our kid to be awake way past her bedtime,” he joked.

“I wonder who she gets that from,” she teased back with an easy smile.

“Hey, my sleeping habits have gotten a lot better,” he defended himself with a laugh. “At least I don’t take up half of the bed when I sleep.”

“Don’t act like you didn’t enjoy it, Almeida,” she shot back. They were treading into dangerous territory by bringing up the past but before either of them could say anything, Michelle was called away and she gave him an apologetic smile.

After the news of the attack on the Chinese Consulate circulated through CTU, it only made finding the warhead a bigger priority and it didn’t help that Cheng Zhi demanded to come to CTU to get some answers.

Michelle was just getting off the phone when Tony walked into her office. “This situation with the Consulate is dragging us down. We shouldn’t be diverting resources away from finding that warhead.”

She was amazed at how they were thinking the same thing. “Well, hopefully this is just a formality and we can get rid of him quickly. If we don’t get information from Lee, Audrey’s husband would’ve died for nothing,” she said, leaning against her desk.

“What is she still doing here?” Tony asked, staring down at her through the glass panel.

“I think she wants to stay busy so she doesn’t have to think about it,” she answered softly. She was familiar with the concept herself.

“It’s funny, when I met Audrey this afternoon, it seemed she and Jack were totally together… a few hours later and everything has changed.” Just like it had with them. He turned to look at her before speaking again. “Michelle, I hate being without you,” he said softly.

“I never wanted it to be this way,” she answered honestly. “And Avery… she deserves to have her dad around.”

The phone rang telling them that Chang had arrived and just like that, they were back in work mode.

Later, they were up in her office once again. “Tactical is at Richard’s house, they’re going through his things right now.”

“What about Jack?” Tony asked.

“Jack and Curtis are on their way back right now.”

“Someone has to tell Audrey that Jack is going to be interrogating her brother.”

“Audrey’s not going to want Jack near her brother,” Tony pointed out.

“Can’t be helped… I mean if Richard knows something about that missile…” she trailed off.

“It’s funny, this morning Jack and Audrey were planning their future, now he’s responsible for her husband's death and he may have to torture her brother.”

“Yet, every move he’s made has been the right one.” She went over and sat down on the couch.

“Not if he wanted to be with her.” He took a seat beside her. “Look, Michelle, everything that’s happened today, it’s been hard going through it with you again.”

“It’s been hard for me too.”

“I look at what this job does to people in our positions and I realize,” he met her eyes, “I want us to be together again, but it’s gotta be away from all this. We shouldn’t have to put our country over our family.”

Getting back together didn’t come as a surprise to her, she had been expecting it, but leaving the job completely took her off guard.

“You want us to leave our jobs?” He nodded. “We’ve spent the last twelve years of our lives doing this. Where would we go? What would we do?”

“I don’t care… Look, people start over every day if it’s important to them and you are important to me and so is Avery. I want my family back, Michelle.”

“You’re asking me to leave the only thing I’ve ever done?”

“Yes, I am,” he answered. She turned her head away from him, her thoughts scrambling all over the place.

He went to walk out her door when she stopped him. “Why did you want me to leave?”

“I thought it was for the best and plus, Ave didn’t need to see me like that. I wasn’t the husband or father that I needed to be and I was humiliated and ashamed of myself. I thought I was helping you and that you would eventually figure out that you deserved so much more than I could offer you. Prison was the worst time of my life and I just, I don’t know, I guess I didn’t want you to be ashamed of me like I was of myself.”

“Do you ever regret it,” she asked hesitantly. “Saving me, I mean.”

“Michelle, I never once regretted my decision to save you. If I had to, I would do it again because I love you. If it hadn’t been for you, I never would’ve had the best three years of my life. Our girl wouldn’t be here either if it wasn’t for you. The only thing I regret is telling you to leave, thinking that it would help both of us when it only made things worse.”

“But look where we are now because of me.”

“Exactly, Michelle, Avery has both of her parents. I’m willing to fix us, if you are. I love you more than my life itself and I love our little girl. Nothing is ever going to change that fact. This job isn’t worth it anymore, it’s not more important than you or Avery.”

“Okay,” she smiled, tears in her eyes.

“Okay?” He mirrored her smile.

“I’m ready to leave here. I’m ready to go with you.”

He swiftly walked over to her and cupped her face in his hands, stroking her cheek with the pad of his thumb. “Are you sure? Because I’m not letting go of you again.”

“I can’t spend another day without you,” she confirmed and that was all he needed to seal his lips over hers. It had been six months since he saw her, six months since he last touched her and even longer since he last kissed her. The kiss spoke more than words could ever say.

After a minute, he pulled back, both of them breathless with huge grins on their faces. Stupid love drunk grins.

“I love you from now until forever,” he told her.

“I will love you always,” she choked out. He knew repeating part of their vows would make her emotional, but he wanted her to know that he was serious about trying again.

This is forever.

“Come on, let’s get back to work so we can go home.”

Home. It sounded too good to be true, but nonetheless, she was ready to start fresh. A new beginning was exactly what they needed.

Hours passed by, Marwan was dead, the missile had been destroyed, and they had just helped Jack fake his death with the help of Chloe and President Palmer.

Dropping Jack off for the last time was hard for both of them, but Michelle could see the toll it took on Tony. They were friends for years and had come to trust each other like brothers.

She covered his hand with hers and he intertwined their fingers together.

“Let’s go home.”

“Let’s go home,” she repeated with a smile. She gave him the directions to her apartment and they arrived twenty minutes later. Looking over at him, she could tell he was nervous. “Come on,” she nudged him slightly.

The afternoon sun bathed the building in a golden glow with white clouds drifting lazily in the breeze. It was a beautiful day in California.

They got out of the SUV and Michelle led him up the stairs to her front door. “It’ll be okay,” she reassured him.

The keys turned the lock, a soft click was heard before she opened the door. A woman who Tony didn’t recognize was seated in the kitchen.

She nodded in acknowledgment before turning her attention to Michelle.

“Avery’s in her room playing and we did all of her homework, she hasn’t eaten lunch yet because she wanted to wait to eat with you,” she laughed softly. “Are you going to need me tomorrow?” She asked, looking between her and Tony.

“Probably not, but I’ll give you a call if that changes. We’re supposed to have a couple days off,” Michelle explained. “Thank you, Allison.” They bid their goodbyes and Tony wandered over to the living room, where the pictures of Avery caught his eye.

“I can’t believe I let things get this bad,” he said, choking back tears.

“Oh, Tony.” Michelle strided over towards him, wrapping her arms around him as he clung to her.

“I’m so sorry. I’m so sorry,” he kept repeating.

“Shh,” she soothed him gently, rubbing small circles across his back.

“Momma?” A tiny voice asked and she felt Tony tense in her arms.

“Hey, sweetheart,” she greeted, turning around to face her daughter. Her little eyes were trained on the person behind her who was now trying to stifle his sobs.

“Daddy’s home?” She asked, a hint of hope in her voice.

“Daddy’s home,” Michelle smiled as her eyes filled with tears.

Avery tentatively walked up behind him and placed her arms around his legs. Tony stood there for a few seconds, soaking in the feeling of being home before squatting down to her level.

“Hey, pretty lady,” he greeted with a smile, placing a kiss on her cheek.

“I missed you,” she cried out, throwing her small arms around his neck.

“I missed you so much.” He told her.

Michelle watched the two of them, her heart swelling with joy. Her family was together again, her perfect little family.

“Can we watch The Little Mermaid?” She asked after a few minutes, making her parents laugh.

“I see not that much has changed,” he teased, referencing Avery’s favorite movie since she was a year old. Avery led Tony over to the couch where they plopped down on it together, her talking animatedly about anything and everything that came to her mind and Tony listened intently.

These were the moments she missed the most, just the three of them together. She watched them for a few more minutes until she headed towards the kitchen to make some popcorn.

She didn’t even know Tony was in there until she felt his arms wrap around her and his chin resting on her shoulder. “Are you already tired of me? It’s only been a day, Michelle.”

“What?”

“You’re making popcorn… ya know, it requires using the microwave, right? Are you trying to kill me already?” He teased her.

“I think I can handle a microwave.”

“I don’t know, sweetheart. I recall a time where you almost set our house on fire when you heated up that Chinese food without taking it out the box.”

“Shut up!” She laughed, turning around in his arms. “I’ve gotten better since then because-” she stopped, her smile faltering. She learned how to cook, to the best of her ability, after leaving Tony so that her and Avery wouldn’t have to survive off of takeout for three meals a day.

“I know,” was all he said.

“We have to be able to talk about it instead of just pushing it aside. Not like what we did last time.”

“And we will, but now, we have a movie to watch. We’ll talk tomorrow, I promise.”

“Okay,” she relented with an easy smile, her cheeks were starting to hurt from all the smiling she had done within the past couple of hours.

They heard Avery come back to the living room, calling for Tony and the two of them together grabbed the popcorn and snacks and sat down on the couch with Avery between them. She was dressed in her The Little Mermaid pajamas to match the movie.

As the movie started, Michelle stole one last glance at them and smiled yet again. This is what their life was going to start looking like from now on once they left CTU, the place where this all became possible, but the same place that could take it all away in a split second.

This was their second chance, their new beginning, and she wasn’t going to waste it.

#tony x michelle #tony almeida #24 fanfiction #24 the show #24 #tony almeida x michelle dessler #michelle dessler

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songsoomin · 5 years ago

Text

Let Me Down Part 3 (A, F)

Synopsis: CollegeStudent!Mingi x CollegeStudent!FemaleReader, BestFriend!Yunho. You’re still struggling without Mingi but circumstances lead you to get closer to Yunho.

Song inspiration: “From the Heart” Another Level (Not related but I would kill to hear Jongho sing this song)

Genre: Angst, Fluff

Warnings: None really, just a suggestive line towards the end.

Word count: 10.5K (I’m so sorry)

Posted: 6th July 2020

Note: I just got this photo off Google but I think it must have been made by someone going by the name ‘Fix On’ because the tag is on there - so just making it clear it is not my photo.

Part 1 Part 2

"Can we have more water for our table, please?"

"Sure, I'll just get that for you." You said politely as you went to get the water for Table 7.

"Y/N, Table 10 are ready for their mains now and Table 5 want their bill." Your supervisor, Max, told you as you headed back with the water.

"Sure thing." You said, wishing your shift was already over but you were only an hour into it. It was lunchtime on a Saturday so the restaurant you worked at part-time was rammed, as usual. You had graduated but still hadn't found a permanent job yet.

"Y/N, you look exhausted - are you ok?" One of your colleagues, Tiffany, asked you as you took a few seconds to breathe at the till station as you printed out Table 5's bill.

"I don't know...I've felt tired for the last couple of weeks now. I'm probably just low on iron, I haven't had much appetite lately." You admitted, "I'll get some supplements after work."

Since you last saw Mingi you hadn't been eating properly again. Impossibly, saying 'goodbye' to him for a second time had caused you much more pain than the first one. You should never have given in to your emotions and slept with him that night. You gave in because you weren't strong enough to say 'no' when he was right there looking at you like he used to - like he still loved you - but you didn't have the courage to take him back and risk being hurt again. Now, it had become clear that your heart also wasn't strong enough to deal with the fall out from that decision. You'd fallen into the same cycle you had the first time; not eating, not sleeping, trying to ignore the aching in your chest but while you were trying your best to carry on with your life without him, you were really just walking around like a zombie. Just existing while all the life had been drained out of you.

"You should look after yourself better." Tiffany said, concerned. She was older than you and married with two children and her natural mothering instincts seemed to come out with everyone. "Especially working on your feet in such a busy place like this."

"I know. My appetite has been almost non-existent since I've been a bit sick and when I get home I'm too exhausted to do anything. It's just a bug but I'll try to eat better - I promise." She looked at you skeptically but let it go.

You carried on with your shift, running here and there after demanding diners but just felt worse as it wore on. You had picked up quite a few shifts lately so it was no surprise you had worn yourself out but you needed the money. You were living on your own now since Suzy had moved in with Lucas after graduation and Jina had moved back home. Your parents owned their own company and had bought you a small one bedroom apartment - nothing fancy, just enough for you - but you still needed to pay the bills.

Coming to the end of your shift you started to feel dizzy and nauseous again but soldiered on, thinking if you could just get through it you could go home and sleep. As you were passing the bill to one of the tables in your section you all of a sudden started to lose all your focus, darkness washing over you and you felt yourself slipping.

"Y/N?" You felt something cold and wet being pressed against your face as you blinked your eyes open to see Tiffany looking down at you. She was seated next to you as you lay on the couch in the staff room. You obviously looked confused at the situation as she gently explained, "You passed out. Max carried you in here and asked me to take care of you."

"I what? I'm so sorry." You apologised trying to sit up but doing it too quickly and feeling dizzy again.

Tiffany passed you a vitamin energy drink and told you to keep still and drink it. While you drank it, you noticed she was eyeing you, as if there was something she wanted to ask but wasn't sure how.

"Is there something wrong? You look a little uncomfortable." You said, smiling a little, trying to ease her discomfort.

"Well...I'm just worried about crossing the line. We're just work colleagues so I don't want to pry into personal matters." This had you confused so you asked her to go on, curious to know what on Earth she was thinking.

"It's ok, you can ask what you want. I can see something is bothering you."

"Ok..." She started slowly, "You said you'd had a bug recently and it had made you sick...."

"Yeah, I have. I'm still feeling it a bit - I was nauseous before I fainted, actually." You recalled the last thing you remembered feeling before you woke up here.

"How long has it been going on for?" Tiffany enquired gently.

"Oh...I'd say about two weeks really. It comes and goes though." You still didn't know where she was heading with this; you imagined she was going to nag you to see a doctor, though.

"Each day but mostly in the morning?"

"Yeah..." You blinked in surprise, "How did you know?"

Tiffany sighed, "Y/N...I think you may be pregnant."

You sat there looking at her like an idiot for a second. There was no way.

"Don't be silly. I just haven't been looking after myself. I'm just run down, that's probably why I feel so bad."

"Y/N...I have two children, I know the signs of early pregnancy. Morning sickness, tiredness, fainting - I'd bet you have tender boobs, as well, right?" That last bit shocked you a little. It was true, you did but you thought that it was just because your period was due. Now you really thought about it, though, you realised it had been a while since you'd had one.

"But...I can't be." You said, still thinking Tiffany was overreacting a little. "I haven't been with anyone since my ex and we always used con-" You stopped short as the realisation hit you. "Oh."

You and Mingi had always used condoms. Except that one night about six weeks ago.

Mingi, I want you inside me.

Baby, I don't have any protection on me. I didn't expect this to happen.

Mingi! I need you. Please fuck me.

You hadn't thought about it the morning after, hungover and too caught up in the pain of letting him go again.

"I think you should go and take a test, Y/N. As soon as you feel up to moving."

You nodded dumbly at Tiffany, desperately hoping she was wrong and that the symptoms were just a coincidence. An hour later, however, you were sitting in your bathroom crying and staring at two little blue lines.

********

It had taken you days to accept the situation you found yourself in and then a few days more before you could face telling your parents about it. They had been really supportive, although, a little disappointed that you were in this situation due to being drunk and stupid. They told you that they would support you in whatever decision you made so you set about trying to decide if you were really ready to be a mother or if it was better to end the pregnancy.

You'd always wanted children and, at one time, you had even imagined having them with Mingi - somewhere in the future - but Mingi wasn't the father you needed for your baby. He was immature and unreliable. Your parents lived quite far away now and were busy running their company. Suzy and Jina had promised their support and offered advice as best they could but Jina also lived some way away and Suzy had her own life and her job to worry about. You knew they would all help as much as they could but you couldn't ask them to neglect their own lives for you. If you were going to do this, it would be alone.

After much soul searching and many sleepless nights, you decided you would keep this baby. You weren't against abortion, per say, but it wasn't for you. Deep down you knew you would never be able to go through with it.

Now you just needed to prepare as best you could and really hope you could do this.

********

You were nearly 3 months gone now; not showing yet but some of the worse symptoms were still there. You were starting to fell a bit more energetic but the morning sickness hadn't gone away yet. You really, really hoped you wouldn't turn out to be one of those unlucky women who had it for the whole 9 months. Today, however, you were still very much feeling it when you ran into Yunho.

"Y/N! Oh my god - I haven't seen you since graduation." Yunho beamed at you, "How have you been?"

"Hi Yunho!" You said, giving your tall, blonde friend a hug. True you hadn't seen him for a while and you had been close until about three months ago but avoiding Mingi meant avoiding all his friends, as well.

"What are you up to? Do you want to grab a coffee?" Yunho asked in his usual warm and friendly manner and you couldn't resist; you weren't good at making new friends so it had been a while since you'd had anyone to chat to like this.

"Sure, I'd love to. “I am quite thirsty after shopping." You said looking for the nearest coffee shop and spying a nice-looking one a couple of shops down. "Is this one ok?"

"Oh, yeah, this one is nice - I've been here a few times." Yunho said as you walked together. As you walked through the door, though, a particularly rough bout of nausea hit you and you darted for the bathroom, dropping your bags on the nearest table and trying to convey an apology to Yunho as you ran.

You must've been in the bathroom for about five minutes being sick and trying to think of something to tell Yunho - after all, he was Mingi's best friend and, whether right or wrong, you were trying to keep this from him. You didn't want him involved. Eventually the sickness passed and you made your way back out to the front of the coffee shop.

You reached the table Yunho was sitting at to find him with a coffee already and, opposite him on the table, a glass of water and a small packet of ginger biscuits.

"I hope you don't mind; I got these for you." He said, smiling. "My cousin had a baby recently and said ginger biscuits really helped ease her morning sickness."

"Yunho...What are you talking about?" You said, trying to sound light, as if he had jumped to the wrong conclusion. In reality, you weren't doing a good job of it, you could hear the hint of anxiety in your own voice.

"These rolled out of your bag when you dropped them on the table." You looked at the small bottle Yunho held in his hand - it was the pregnancy vitamins you had bought earlier. You looked away, not knowing what to say. There was no denying it now.

"So who's the lucky guy?" He said, trying to ease the tension.

"Mingi." It came out as a mumble but he heard it fine given the shocked look on his face.

"I'm sorry, what?"

"It's Mingi's baby." You looked down at your hands, feeling uncomfortable.

"Right. Ok." Yunho looked lost in thought for a moment - probably trying to work out how, given you left Mingi about six months ago but you were clearly in early pregnancy.

"Graduation night." You explained simply.

"Ooohhhh! I remember!" Yunho exclaimed, "He didn't come home that night but the next morning he came back in such a state. He wouldn't tell us what happened, though."

You recounted the details of the evening to Yunho; about the man who tried to assault you, how Mingi saved you from him and that you spent the night together. You didn't go into detail except to admit that you'd both been half-drunk and had failed to use protection.

Yunho nodded in understanding but seemed bothered by something, "I know he's been a mess lately but why didn't he tell me about this? I'm his best friend."

"He doesn't know." You mumbled, looking at your hands again.

"Y/N....don't you think he has a right to know? He's going to be a father." You looked up to find Yunho looking at you but not in a judgemental way - more sympathetic.

"I know and I've struggled with it. I've wanted to tell him but he isn't capable of being the father my baby needs. He can't even look after himself, how would he look after a family? He constantly lied and let me down just so he could have fun - he only ever thought about himself."

"I'm not saying you should take him back but I do think you should tell him. He deserves that much." Yunho replied gently, seeing how upset you were becoming.

"I know it's selfish of me...but I don't know if I could stand him being in my life - seeing him but not being with him. I still love him, Yunho." You spoke earnestly, hoping he could understand. "I'm sure he probably has someone else now and, to be honest, I wouldn't be able to bear seeing him and some other woman playing happy families with my child."

"There's been no one else, Y/N." Yunho admitted, surprising you. "He's been an absolute mess since you left him. He was starting to get it together but after graduation night he fell further. He goes out to work but that's all he'll leave the apartment for. When he gets home he just shuts himself away. Hongjoong and I are really worried about him, he doesn't sleep well and drinks more than is good for him."

As you took in this new information the ache in your chest, that never went away, throbbed. It hurt to hear that Mingi was hurting so badly but it didn't change your decision.

"All the more reason why he can't be my baby's father. Please, Yunho," you almost begged the man sitting opposite you, "...please don't tell him."

Yunho looked uncomfortable and you knew he didn't like to keep something this big from his best friend but he agreed nonetheless, "Ok, I won't tell him but I really want you to rethink doing it yourself."

The atmosphere turned a bit lighter from then on; you fell into a comfortable conversation about work and life in general until you realised it was getting later and you had an appointment to go to.

"I'm sorry to have to go, Yunho but I actually have my first ultrasound scan today." You apologised while gathering your bags.

"You're not going alone are you? You said earlier that you didn't really have anyone close by." You smiled at the look of concern on your friend's face; he'd always been a good listener and cared for others so much.

"I'll be fine, Yunho. You don't need to worry about me."

"Y/N, you can't see your baby's heartbeat for the first time and have no one to be there with you. I won't let you." The look of determination on his face suddenly turned less confident, "I mean, as long as that's ok - I don't want to intrude but you should have someone to share such a special moment with."

You couldn't disagree with him; it would feel a little lonely. If your parents were closer you would have asked your mum to come with you. You also didn't want to ask Suzy to use one of her allotted leave days from work for you. Although you had accepted you'd be doing this pregnancy alone, you had to admit it would be nice to share moments like these with someone - even if it was just a friend.

"Come on then, I'd love to have some company."

Yunho beamed and stood with you to leave, offering one arm for you to hold and the other to carry your shopping as you made your way to the clinic.

You laid on the bed while the sonographer squeezed the gel on to your pelvic area and used the ultrasound probe to spread it around; you were really excited to see your baby for the first time. Yunho sat quietly on a stool next to you looking quite curious himself, having not seen one of these scans before.

The sonographer found your baby and pointed out the head, arms and legs and, most importantly, the heartbeat. You looked at the screen in awe at the tiny fluttering heart and when the sonographer turned the sound of the machine up you could hear the whooshing sound each beat created. You looked back at Yunho with tears in your eyes and he smiled back and took your hand in his large one and gave it a squeeze for emotional support. You were so glad you'd accepted his company; it would have been sad to experience this all alone.

You both sat there watching the screen as the sonographer took the measurements and declared you to be 11 weeks and 5 days pregnant and gave you your due date. Lastly she printed out some pictures of your baby and popped them in a little envelope for you to take home. Once back outside you had to make your first appointment to see the obstetrician for your 16 week check. The receptionist was very friendly and told you all the things you would need to bring along.

"We'll need to know your family medical history, details of any medicines you take...basically the more info you can give the doctor, the better. Oh, and Daddy, we'll need your family's medical history, as well."

"Oh, he's not the -" You tried to correct her but she wasn't listening.

"So, we'll see you in about four weeks." The friendly receptionist finished with a smile.

You figured it didn't matter anyway, you could just let the doctor know at the next appointment that you didn't know the father's family history.

Yunho walked you back to your apartment, chatting with you the whole way.

"Thank you for being there with me today, Yunho. I really appreciated your support."

"Anytime, Y/N." Yunho waited as you found your key and opened your door then popped your bags just inside.

"Listen...I don't want you feeling you have to go through all this completely alone." He began, "I may not be able to do much but I can at least come with you to appointments if your family can't be here and keep you company, if ever you feel lonely here all by yourself."

"Yunho, I really appreciate the offer but I don't want to take up your time." You smiled at Yunho's caring and generous nature but didn't want to be an imposition to him.

"Y/N. Don't be silly. My work place is really flexible and I don't have much on otherwise. Anyway, we've known each other since school, I think you can let me be there for you as a friend."

"Thank you, Yunho, that means a lot."

"Anytime." He rubbed your arm gently and made his way down the hall of your apartment complex.

********

Just over four weeks later you were arriving back at the clinic for your 16 week check with the obstetrician when you heard a familiar voice,

"You didn't call me." You looked around to find Yunho leaning against a lamp post, waiting for you.

"I was going to....but I thought I'd be being a nuisance." You smiled as he walked towards you.

"Why do you think I'm here," he laughed, "I knew you'd think like that. We may never have been super close but I've known you for a long time."

"Fine.” You smiled up at him, “Let's go in then."

The appointment went well, the doctor checked your health and listened to the baby's heartbeat but when it came time to talk about medical history it became a bit awkward.

"I...Well, I'm not with the father so I can't really get his family's medical history."

The doctor looked at Yunho, clearly having thought it was him but he held his hands up and explained, "Aah, it's not me - I'm just a friend here for support."

The doctor nodded in understanding but asked gently, "If you can access it at all, it would be very helpful."

"I'll try." You sighed. You knew it wouldn’t be easy.

You made your next appointments which were the anomally scan at 21 weeks, followed by another check up with the doctor.

"I know when those appointments are so if you don't invite me, I'll just turn up again." Yunho playfully threatened as you left the clinic.

"Yunho?"

"Hmm?"

"How difficult do you think it would be to find out Mingi's family history?"

Yunho stopped and looked at you with furrowed brows. "It's not the kind of thing that comes up in normal conversation. If I start asking him whether his family ever had any birth defects or genetic illnesses, he's going to wonder what the Hell is going on."

"Ok." you sighed, defeated, "Don't worry, I'm sure it'll be fine. I was with him for 5 years and he never mentioned anything like that."

You moved closer to Yunho's side and held on to his arm, "Thank you, though...for being with me again. It felt a lot less lonely with you there."

"My pleasure. Do you want to grab something to eat? It's almost dinner time."

"I am hungry. My appetite has come back since the morning sickness went away."

"Great," he looked at you with that bright, beautiful smile that always made you smile back, "what do you wanna get?"

As the weeks went on you began to spend more and more time with Yunho. He gave you a lot of his time when he wasn't working; you guessed he was free because the other guys' jobs were more 9-5 than his more flexible one. Most of the time he came over to your apartment and you watched a movie or show on Netflix with a bowl of popcorn. You'd become much closer with Yunho, so much so that it was him you always thought of first when you needed someone to talk or just to have fun with. You still saw Suzy often but she was with Lucas so much you ended up feeling like a third wheel and seeing them so happy tended to remind you that you were alone.

Although you tried not to ask about Mingi, Yunho occasionally said things that made you think that he didn't spend a lot of time with his best friend these days. They still lived together but it seemed Mingi was still shutting himself away a lot of the time and drinking a lot. It hurt you to think of him suffering alone and, as much as you tried to stop, you still thought about him a lot. You still cried often, mostly at night when you laid in bed alone and wishing with all your heart that things had turned out differently and he could be here with you, holding you in his strong arms. The aching in your chest that had been with you since you left Mingi still refused to go away, becoming more painful on those night you laid in bed thinking about him.

At least when Yunho was with you it was better, you felt calmer and happier. He had become so important in your life now - your best friend, really - and you didn't know what you'd do without him. Sometimes you'd look up at him as you cuddled against his side on your couch and think that he would make the perfect boyfriend and an amazing father. He was funny, always making you laugh and cheering you up when you were down, and so caring. In fact, it was because he was so caring and loved skinship that it felt comfortable for you guys to cuddle while watching TV and he often grabbed your hand or slung his arm around your shoulders while you were walking together. To top it all off he was amazingly good-looking, especially with those big, warm eyes and the bright smile he always seemed to have but, even when you thought this way, something stopped you from feeling anything more than friendship. As hard as you tried, you didn't seem to be getting over Mingi, at all.

********

You were at 22 weeks now and visibly pregnant with your bump obvious for everyone to see. You'd had your anomally scan and doctor's appointment a week ago and, to your relief, everything looked absolutely fine - you'd even got more detailed scan photos of your growing baby now it was bigger. You were offered the chance to find out the sex of the baby but you'd decided to keep it as a surprise so, as you shopped for baby clothes, you were picking out neutral colours.

You'd only really bought maternity items and a few baby basics until now but as you were over half way you decided it was really time to start picking out more important items. You had spent Saturday with Yunho looking at the big things like prams and cribs but hadn't made any firm choices yet, however, you did have lots of bags full of baby clothes, soft toys, bathing accessories and all the things you were going to need ready for when your 'Little Bun' came. You had asked Yunho along for the company and a second opinion but he was also a really good bag-carrier and absolutely refused to let you carry any bag he deemed too heavy.

It was when you were walking through the park on your way home that you felt a movement. You had felt a kind of fluttering before but not been sure if it was your baby moving or not but this was a very definite kick. You stopped and gasped, your hands on your bump so at first Yunho thought something was wrong and started to worry.

"It's ok, Yunho..." you laughed, "I just felt the baby kick for the first time."

"It's kicking?" He replied, amazed.

"Do you want to feel?"

"Of course I do!" Yunho playfully looked at you like you were an idiot to think otherwise.

"Wow, you're growing so strong, Little Bun." Your now-best friend exclaimed as he felt the tiny kicks.

Yunho looked just as excited as you were, it was a common mistake for anyone seeing you to think that he was the father because, true to his word, he had been with you every step of the way making sure you never felt alone in this. You both knew you were just friends and he'd told you on one of the many deep conversations you had late at night that he wasn't trying to take Mingi's place, he just wanted to be there for you.

However, the way you both stood there as Yunho held his large hand on your growing bump with a look of awe on his face at feeling your baby kicking would make anyone think that you were a young couple about to become parents - and that's exactly how you knew it looked when you turned to see Mingi standing a few feet away from you.

You'd never really considered the possibility of running into Mingi because Yunho had told you how he'd shut himself away in the apartment when not at work but now you saw him standing in the park watching you and Yunho looking for all the world like a couple in love. He was with Hongjoong, Jongho and Yeosang and they all stood there slightly behind him with equally shocked expressions. The look on Mingi's face, however, caused your heart to clench painfully. He stood there, his eyes moving from you, to Yunho, and then to Yunho's hand on your obviously pregnant tummy, with a look of utter betrayal and heartbreak.

"Mingi...." Your voice was small, you didn't know what to say, you couldn't seem to get any other words out.

Mingi looked away from you, like he couldn't bear to look at you, and over to his best friend.

"Mingi...it's not what it looks like." Yunho quickly said, trying to fix the misunderstanding as he could see exactly what Mingi was thinking.

"Oh, really? Because it looks like my best friend has got my ex-girlfriend pregnant." He was angry, Yunho tried to calm the situation, worried Mingi’s temper would get the better of him again.

"It really isn't like that, Mingi." Yunho almost pleaded with him.

Mingi scoffed, not believing a word of it. "You must've swooped right there in after we broke up - or did you even wait that long? Was this all going on before?" Suddenly he turned to look down at you with accusation in his dark eyes, " Is that why you left me?"

"Mingi...no." You wanted to explain but Mingi wasn't hearing it. He gave you both one last pained look and strode right past you.

As the others followed your ex-boyfriend, you felt helpless; Hongjoong gave you both a look of pure disappointment, shaking his head as he went with Jongho looking much the same but adding, "Wouldn't have expected this of you, bro." aimed directly at Yunho. Yeosang passed by last and placing a hand on Yunho's shoulder briefly, he simply said, "You must have some big fucking balls to pull this kind of shit."

You stood there frozen for some minutes, tears just streaming down your face as Yunho hugged you, doing his best to console you.

"It'll be okay, Y/N. I'll talk to him...make him understand."

You hadn't wanted Mingi to know but now he had found out in, perhaps, the most hurtful way he possibly could have. You felt horrible. You were an awful, awful person.

"You're not an awful person, Y/N." Yunho tried to reassure you but the guilt was already making a home inside you. "Let's just get you home and then I can find Mingi and explain all this."

********

Mingi POV

Mingi sat on the couch in the apartment he shared with Hongjoong and Yunho, drink in hand, glaring at the door. He was waiting for his supposed best friend - he knew he'd come home soon and attempt to explain away his betrayal - but Mingi was so angry. As if it wasn't bad enough that he saw you had moved on and were pregnant with someone else's child, it was his own fucking best friend who had got you pregnant!

He didn't even look at Hongjoong, Jongho and Yeosang as they hovered around the apartment; most likely waiting for the inevitable fight Mingi would start. He knew they'd all been worried about his behaviour for some time now but he didn't care, he was in too much pain himself to care about how anyone else felt.

Mingi was pulled from those thoughts as he heard Yunho's key in the door, signalling his arrival and as he walked through the door, it was all Mingi could do to not leap up and punch him in the face.

"Mingi, please listen, it's not -" Yunho started but was quickly cut off.

"I can't believe you could do this to me!" Mingi shouted, "You more than anyone else. We've known each other since we were five and you do this to me?" Mingi stood and took a few steps towards Yunho who was holding his hands up and looking somewhat nervous. They had the same height and build but Mingi had a temper and Yunho didn't want to fight him.

"I didn't do -"

"Stop lying to me!" Mingi shouted and Jongho subtly moved closer ready to hold Mingi back if he made a move towards his best friend.

"You know better than anyone how much it killed me when Y/N left me....how hard it is for me to get over this." Tears were starting to fall from Mingi's eyes as he was trying to let out all the hurt and frustration he had felt since you left him, "Did you think what it would do to me to see you with her - and to see her carrying your fucking baby, as well?!"

"It's your baby, Mingi!"

Yunho had to shout to stop the angry tirade and it worked, silence filled the room as Mingi just stared at Yunho and the other three men stared between the two of them.

"It's mine?" Mingi asked in a small, uncertain voice.

"Yes. It's yours. Do you not remember the night after graduation? You took her home and fucked her without using protection."

"Jesus Christ, you fucking idiot, Mingi." Hongjoong sighed out loud.

Completely stunned, Mingi sat down on the couch again; he remembered it but it had never occured to him that this would happen.

"Why didn't she tell me?" Mingi asked, "And why didn't you?" He threw at Yunho accusingly.

"She didn't want you involved and it wasn't my place to tell you. She begged me not to."

Yunho came closer to his best friend now he was calmer and handed him a small envelope, "Y/N asked me to give you this."

Mingi opened the envelope and took out the photo from your last scan, he stared at the image of the baby, touching the paper where he could see its tiny hand.

"This is my baby?" He asked again, trying to process this sudden shift in his life.

"Yes. It's your baby, you idiot." Yunho rolled his eyes, happy that the tension in the room was easing.

Mingi picked up his drink and took a swig, suddenly remembering something.

"Is this what you've been doing during all that time you spend out of the apartment. Seeing Y/N? Are you together? It might be my baby but that doesn't mean you haven't still stolen my girlfriend."

"For fuck's sake, Mingi!" Yunho shouted, exasperated. "No...you know what, I do like her. She is amazing. While you've been here drinking and shutting yourself away from everyone, she's been trying to do all this alone with no family and hardly any friends here with her. Do you even know how strong she is? Or how hard this whole situation is on her? Of course not because all you think about is yourself! I have just been being a friend to her; trying to support her through this so she's not alone. And I would have made a move except for one problem.... she's still in love with you. So stop fucking drinking and get your shit together because in 3 months you're going to be a father and right now you're nowhere near good enough for Y/N or your baby!"

Shock crossed Mingi's face as Yunho slapped the drink out of his hand. He couldn't take all this in. You still loved him? He had thought he had seen it in your eyes that last night you slept together but in the morning you told him to go so he had assumed you'd only been with him that night because you'd felt vulnerable and needed someone.

Yunho knew he'd been harsh but he needed to be. Mingi needed to grow up if he was going to be there for you and the baby. "Look, I know quite a lot about this pregnancy stuff now and I know what Y/N needs from you. If you want, I’ll help you get back on track. I want her to be happy and I don't think she ever will be without you. And even though you've been a complete dick, I want you to be happy, as well."

"Thank you." Mingi quietly said, feeling he didn't deserve a friend like Yunho. He'd been so awful to everyone over these last months and they'd only been trying to help him. And if he was ever going to deserve you again, he knew he'd have to get his act together quickly.

********

Can we meet? Please.

You'd been staring at the text message from Mingi for about an hour now. You hadn't heard anything from him for about a week after he saw you and Yunho on the street and you could imagine the hurt that must've caused him but Yunho said he'd explained everything and he'd calmed down. He was still a mess but to just give him a little time to get his head around it. It was fair enough, after all, you'd had months already to process the fact that you were going to be a mother three months from now but Mingi had only just found out he was about to become a father. As you thought about it, you felt guilt spreading through you. Was it the right thing to have kept it from him just because he hurt you? He was always bound to find out one day but how much of his child's life would he have already missed by that point.

Meet me at the coffee shop we used to go to. 2pm

You replied, feeling anxious; now he knew there was no point trying to keep him away but you'd have to deal with seeing him on a regular basis whilst knowing you still weren't over him.

At 2pm you sat in the coffee shop; you and Mingi used to come here all the time back in college, when you were still together. You'd been waiting nervously, playing with your fingers and looking up every time the little bell signalled the door had opened.

Mingi walked in and scanned the room for you then made his way to your table. You looked at each other for a moment before either of you spoke.

"Would you like anything?" He asked a little awkwardly.

"Just an orange juice, please. I can't have too much caffeine."

"Oh, yeah...I guess not." At your reply he looked down at what he could see of your bump behind the table and away again quickly. He went up to the counter to order the drinks, returning shortly after with your orange juice and an iced Americano for himself.

You looked at each other for a minute or so, without saying anything. Last time you'd seen him he looked a mess - thin with dark circles under his eyes and longish, messy hair where he'd not bothered to cut it. Generally like he wasn't looking after himself. Now he looked almost well; still tired and somewhat thin but much better than before.

"You look better than when I saw you." You ventured carefully, not wanting to remind him of that day too much.

"Yunho's been helping me get myself together." His deep voice was quieter than usual as he ran his hand through his freshly cut black hair.

You were both feeling awkward seeing each other after the last time but one of you was going to have to acknowledge the elephant in the room.

"I'm sorry I kept this from you. I was so hurt that I didn't want you involved so I wouldn't have to see you but it was selfish of me. I should have told you."

Mingi looked at you, surprise on his face, as if he hadn't expected you to say this. Maybe he thought you'd still be too angry at him, after all, he'd been surprised you agreed to meet so quickly.

"I understand why you didn't. I realise now that you leaving me was my own fault. I neglected you when we were together and put myself and my friends first. I know I let you down and hurt you a lot." Mingi didn't look directly into your eyes as he said this, feelings of guilt present within him. You sat and listened quietly as he continued on. You were surprised at seeing a level of maturity he'd never shown before.

"I'm not going to ask you to come back to me - I know I don't deserve that - but please...let me be a part of our baby's life. I want to show you I can be there for you both, for whatever you need."

"Mingi, I'm not going to keep you out of our baby's life. I realised by not telling you it wouldn't only be you missing out; I'd be robbing the baby of knowing it's father...and it's grandparents, too."

Mingi's eyes widened like he'd suddenly thought of something bad. "What's wrong?" You asked a little worried.

"I hadn't even thought about that." He said groaning.

"What?"

"How the fuck am I going to tell my parents that I'm going to be a father in three months? They're gonna kill me for being so stupid and not using a condom."

You giggled quietly at this man who was about to become a father but was still worried about his parents scolding him.

He looked at you apologetically, "I'm sorry about that, by the way. I should've been more careful but I missed you so much - I wanted you so badly, I didn't think about what could happen."

"Hey," You replied gently, "It was both our faults. We were both stupid and I seem to remember me being the one begging you to do it."

"How did your parents take it?"

"They're supporting me but, of course, I got the lecture about how stupid I was to not use contraception." You admitted laughing.

"I'm glad they're ok with it. Let's just hope my parents are ok, too." He still looked worried but a little more relaxed now.

"Mingi," you started, turning more serious, "As I said, I won't keep you out of your baby's life but if you let Little Bun down like you did to me, there won't be any more chances after that."

Mingi looked at you earnestly as he replied, "I won't be letting either of you down. I promise you."

"Little Bun?" He enquired, cocking his head to the side.

"Oh...yeah, I decided not to find out the sex of the baby so he or she is 'Little Bun' for now."

Mingi smiled finally - you'd missed his smile so much but it still hurt to see him so for now you decided to cut short your meeting.

"Do you want me to walk you home?" Mingi asked, still polite and a little awkward.

"I'll be fine but thank you."

You walked home feeling a little lighter now that you weren't keeping it a secret anymore but still apprehensive as to how you were going to manage to see Mingi so much. You realised upon seeing him that you were no longer angry at him for how he treated you but still you couldn't trust him enough to take him back. You knew you still loved him and it was going to be hard to see him so often and not be able to be with him.

********

You were sitting with Yunho on your couch in your apartment, watching Netflix, as usual, and talking about things in general so it was inevitable that Mingi was going to be mentioned sooner or later.

"How is everything going?" Yunho asked carefully, knowing it was still a delicate subject.

You sighed, looking down at your hands - a habit you had when talking about or doing something uncomfortable. "I guess it's ok. It's still difficult seeing him but he seems like a different person somehow."

"How so?"

"Well...he seems a little more mature, I suppose."

"Probably the consequence of finding out he's going to be a father in a few months." Yunho snorted.

"It's more than that, though." You paused, thinking; you weren't quite sure how to convey it in words. "I can see he's still hurting and that he's still a bit of a mess inside but it's...it's like there's something missing from him."

"There is." Yunho replied, seriously now, "You're missing."

You cocked your head, looking at your best friend questioningly.

"Mingi isn't Mingi without you. He took it for granted that you'd always be there and so he didn't treat you right but when you left him, it was like a part of him left, as well. I've been friends with him since we were five years old and I've seen him go through some hard times but I've never seen him like this. Being without you broke him."

A stray tear rolled down your cheek as you listened; you'd thought from how Mingi had treated you that he didn't love you anymore.

"If only he'd shown me that he still cared when we were together, it wouldn't have had to end with us both getting hurt."

Yunho hummed in agreement as he wrapped his strong arms around you for comfort, "Believe me, I don't think he'd make that mistake again."

"I just don't know whether to trust him, Yunho."

"He's trying really hard, Y/N. He's quit drinking, he's looking after himself better and not shutting himself away." Suddenly Yunho laughed, remembering something, "I probably shouldn't laugh at this because he really is trying so hard...but the other day I walked past his room and saw him trying to put a nappy on the teddy bear he's had since he was a baby."

Your eyes widened in astonishment, "On Ted?" You remembered the slightly tatty old teddy Mingi always kept on his shelf in his room but couldn't imagine the picture Yunho was painting.

"Yeah..." the tall blonde continued laughing, "...looked like he was trying to follow a YouTube video on baby care."

"Wow. I can't believe he's really taking this seriously." You thought for a few moments before continuing, "Yunho, I think I should start taking Mingi to my appointments now." You watched carefully for signs Yunho might be hurt by this. He had been such a huge support to you, you were worried he might feel like you were casting him aside.

"You don't know how much you mean to me, Yunho, you've been such a huge support to me and I can't tell you how much I appreciate it but if Mingi is going to be in Little Bun's life, I need to make him feel a part of it already. Also," you continued smiling, "it's probably best if I take him to my ante-natal classes where he can learn about baby care without trying to do it in secret."

Yunho looked at you, smiling back, "It's the way it should be," he shrugged, "I was just filling in for him but he should be the one taking care of you and Bun."

"Thank you." You whispered, cuddling into your best friend's side as he gently kissed the top of your head before hugging you closer to him.

********

Over the following weeks you thought about Mingi a lot - it wasn't hard to do because he'd been texting you everyday to see how you and the baby were doing. You were thankful it was mostly texting because it gave you time to get used to having him back in your life without seeing him too much yet. Maybe he knew you needed time and that's why he didn't ask to see you too much. You'd only seen him once or twice for ante-natal appointments; the first was just a standard check up with the midwife but you asked Mingi along to make him feel more involved. You were glad you did when the midwife used her portable monitor to check the baby's heartbeat because the look on Mingi's face was one you think you'll never forget. As the whooshing sound of the tiny heartbeats came out from the monitor's speaker, a look of pure wonder came over Mingi,

"That's our baby's heartbeat?"

He looked at you wide-eyed and you nodded, smiling, not able to help the warmth that spread through you as he then looked down at your bump in awe. It was quickly replaced by guilt, though; Mingi looked so happy that you felt awful for having kept this from him and not letting him share in it with you. In reality you knew you wouldn't have been strong enough back then to see him but, still, you felt guilty.

The second appointment was for a growth scan; the midwife had been a tiny bit worried about the baby's rate of growth so she sent you for another scan. Luckily, nothing was wrong and it was nice that Mingi was able to see the baby on the screen as he hadn't been there for the other two. When the sonographer pointed out all the features to Mingi he looked absolutely enthralled; you knew this because, as well as looking at your baby on the screen, you had been watching Mingi closely. In your uncertainty about whether you could really trust Mingi to be there for you wanted to see his reactions and, although you weren't convinced yet, you were happy that he seemed to be taking this seriously. To be honest, you think that was the moment it really hit him that he was going to be a father and you understood completely as it was at your first scan that it all became more real for you.

"So...I told my parents about Little Bun." Mingi said as he walked you home after the scan.

"Really? How did they take it?" Mingi's parents were a little more strict than yours so you didn't imagine it went down too well.

"About as well as you think they would." He said grimacing at the memory.

"Was it really bad?"

"I got a very long talking to about how stupid I was and how could I have been so reckless? At least by the end of the call they had calmed down enough to ask if the baby is healthy and if you're doing well so I think they'll be ok. They were just shocked, I guess."

It was only a few days after the scan that you were spending a relaxing Saturday at home alone when you heard a knock at your door and, upon opening it, found Mingi on the other side. He looked a little awkward as he apologised for showing up unannounced but that he had some things for you. Curious, you stepped aside so he could come in but he stepped out of your view and appeared again wheeling a pram into your apartment. You hadn't actually asked him for anything so it came as a real surprise - especially as it was the exact pram you had been admiring when you had gone baby shopping with Yunho. Yunho did say he'd been helping Mingi get himself together so you suspected he'd been giving him advice on what to buy as well as supporting him to get better. Your suspicions only grew as Mingi then went back out into the hallway to retrieve a big box containing the crib that had been your favourite that day, as well.

As you stood there looking a bit stunned, Mingi stood looking a bit sheepish.

"I hope I got the right ones. I wanted to buy you some things but I had no idea what you had already or what style you wanted...so I asked Yunho. He told me which ones you seemed to like the most."

"I love them...thank you."

"Oh!" Mingi suddenly remembered something and pulled a bag from inside the pram, "I got this for Little Bun, as well."

You opened the bag and took out a stuffed toy giraffe. You laughed as you remembered they had always been his favourite animal when you visited the zoo.

"It's perfect."

It got a little awkward then so you offered Mingi a drink and you sat talking about jobs and friends. Mingi caught you up with as much as he knew about his group of friends but he looked a little sad while talking about it.

"To be honest, Y/N, I've been a terrible friend to them. I know Yunho must've told you what a mess I've been... I shut myself away and barely spoke to any of them. I don't really know much about how they've been doing since you last saw them. I was too wrapped up in myself."

"I'm sure they understand." You said quietly.

"I want you to know how much better I am now, though. I've stopped drinking entirely and I feel like Little Bun has given me something to look forward to...to make my life worthwhile."

"Mingi," you replied, trying to make him feel better, "...your life is already worthwhile."

"Not without you." He said, looking down. "When you left me I felt like everything was over. I had never really realised just how much I loved you and how important you were to me. Without you everything else seemed so pointless and miserable. It was like all the colour had been drained from the world."

You could feel tears welling in your eyes, Mingi had told you he loved you when you were together, of course, but towards the end of your relationship it always felt like he was saying it out of habit more than really meaning it. He'd never sounded so sincere as he did now.

"I'm sorry," he apologised quietly, "I'm not trying to make you feel bad; I just wanted you to know how I feel."

You couldn't help it then; you found your hand moving towards Mingi's and resting upon his. You looked up at him, into his beautiful, dark eyes that you had always loved most about him, and they were looking back into yours with such an intensity that you found yourself moving closer. You weren't sure if this was a good idea or if you were setting yourself up to be hurt again but what you did know was that everything Mingi had said he felt without you - the world devoid of colour and joy, and life seeming so pointless - was exactly how you had felt without him.

As you moved closer, Mingi's hand moved up to rest against the side of your neck while his thumb gently stroked your cheek. You closed the distance and felt his soft, plump lips against yours and, despite your worries about him, everything felt so right again.

Pulling away, you looked down and Mingi closed him arms around you, kissing the top of your head lovingly.

"I love you, Y/N. I'm so sorry I never showed you how much. I promise if you give me another chance, I'll never let you forget it. I'll never let you down again."

You took a deep breath, looking up at him you knew you had never stopped loving him, even though you'd tried to move on.

"We can try." You told him. "Let's see where this goes."

Mingi took your face in his hands and kissed you more passionately now; you could feel the joy radiating off him as his lips moved against yours, asking for entry as he gently swiped his tongue across your bottom lip. You stayed this way for a while, kissing and enjoying being able to hold each other once again until a tiny movement made you stop and laugh.

"What?" Mingi asked, wondering if he'd done something weird.

"Nothing," you smiled, "it's just the baby kicking."

Mingi looked at your bump with wonder in his brown eyes, "Can I feel?"

You realised at that moment that up until then Mingi hadn't touched your bump, at all. In fact he hadn't even tried and you wondered if he'd been trying to be considerate of you, not wanting to make you uncomfortable with that level of closeness given that he was your ex. It didn't matter now, though, you wanted him there with you.

"Here...give me your hand." You reached for Mingi's hand and placed it on your bump where Little Bun had been kicking. After a second there were a few more kicks and you couldn't believe the way Mingi's face lit up like he'd just felt the best thing in the whole world.

"My baby." He whispered and you could've sworn his eyes looked a little wetter than usual, "I promise I'll never let you down, Little One."

It was as if he'd suddenly felt a real connection with the life he'd helped create; he spent most of the evening laying with his head on your lap talking to your bump. You felt a happiness you hadn't felt for so long just sitting and listening to Mingi talk to your baby while his large hands caressed your bump.

After some time you felt Mingi pick you up off the couch and carry you into your bedroom; in your sleepy haze you vaguely thought about how strong he was as you were definitely heavier than you used to be now you were more than seven months pregnant. He laid you on your bed and left a gentle kiss on your forehead. As he went to go, you reached out to him,

"Don't go. I don't want to be alone anymore."

Mingi paused, not expecting such a request, "Ok, Baby...let me just lock up and turn the lights off."

After a minute or so Mingi joined you back on the bed, covering the both of you up and holding his arm out for you to cuddle into his side. You went to sleep feeling complete again, the dull ache you could never get rid of, finally gone.

In the morning you woke on your side with Mingi's arm over you and his hand lightly stroking your bump as every now and then you felt a little kick.

You rolled over to face him, closing the distance between you to kiss his lips. Mingi smiled at you when you pulled back,

"Good morning, Baby."

"Hi" You said feeling slightly shy, not used to this yet.

You laid together just looking into each other's eyes until Mingi inevitably broke the romantic atmosphere - like he always used to,

"Is it weird that it kinda turns me on that I got you pregnant?"

You sighed heavily. Who'd have known your boyfriend had a breeding kink?

"Yes. It is." You replied, laughing. Then added, "And inappropriate given that that baby is kicking right now."

You moved his hand from your behind, where it had somehow snuck around to, back to your bump to distract him from such things. You still found him hot as fuck but in your heavily pregnant state, feeling a bit like a beached whale, you did not even want to contemplate anything like that.

It worked because he soon turned more serious again.

"I really thought I'd lost you. I'd always held on to a tiny shred of hope but when I saw you with Yunho, pregnant and looking so happy...I thought you were with him...that I'd lost you forever."

"You never lost me completely." You said, cupping his face with your hand and running your thumb over his soft skin. "And if you can't even lose me to Yunho who is, basically, the perfect man...then you never will."

You laughed as Mingi suddenly let go of you, a huge put on his face at your assessment of his best friend being perfect.

"I love you, you idiot." You said pulling him back to you.

"I love you so much, too. I meant it when I said I'd never let you down again. Either of you."

********

Epilogue

Over the last couple of months of pregnancy you and Mingi got closer than you ever had been before and decided to move in together as neither of you wanted to be without the other. You sold your apartment and bought a bigger one together with Mingi who, despite having been such a mess, actually had a really well paid job.

As your due date approached he barely left your side and when you woke up to feel your waters breaking, he took you to the hospital, despite the look of complete horror that never left his face the whole way there. Once you were at the hospital with trained medical staff he visibly relaxed and helped you all the way through the labour, holding your hand and telling you how well you were doing and how much he loved you. When your daughter was born the look on his face was ecstatic and, as much as he tried to hide it, you know you saw some tears.

Mingi was so excited, calling both sets of grandparents, followed by all his friends to tell them the news. The grandparents came down while you were still in the hospital - and fell in love with her immediately, of course, despite their previous concerns about the situation.

Mingi's friends came round to meet your daughter once you'd got settled back at home and he was so proud to show her off.

"Guys, this is Soo Min" he said beaming,

Of course Yunho rushed in for the first hug.

"Hey, Little Bun...do you remember my voice? I looked after you and Mummy for a bit so I'd better be your favourite uncle as you grow up."

"Hey!" The other guys all chorused.

Everyone wanted to take their turn holding her but she was a bit fussy from being passed around. In fact, out of all Mingi's friends, the one she was obviously most comfortable with was Yunho - now a best friend to both of you. As Soo Min settled down and fell asleep in Yunho's arms you couldn't help teasing Mingi by whispering,

"See? I told you he's the perfect man."

Mingi looked affronted and smacked your behind, whispering back,

"Do I still have competition? Once you're feeling better I'm gonna remind you who you belong to." winking cheekily after the last statement. At any other time that would’ve send a thrill straight to your core but you were still really sore down there.

As time passed your favourite sight to see was your daughter sleeping on Mingi's chest. You'd feed her and then pass her to Mingi to be burped and she'd always fall asleep on his broad chest, looking so tiny laying on him.

He was keeping to his promise of never letting you down so well that after a few months you had to force him out with his friends for an evening because they kept asking him out as one of their birthdays approached.

"Mingi," you said, worried he was telling them 'no' because of you, "I'm not going to think you're neglecting me if you go out for one evening. Just go and have fun."

"But I don't want to leave my precious girls." He said whining.

You leaned up to cup his face in your hands and kiss him softly on the lips,

"I love you and I know how much you love me and Soo Min but, really, go and have fun - the guys will be sad otherwise."

"Ok," he pouted, "...but just a few hours. I don't think I can be away from you two for much longer."

"Jeez, Mingi...you spend longer than that away from us when you're at work!"

"And it's Hell for me." He whined over dramatically while you could only laugh.

At least you never had to question if he loved you anymore.

#song mingi #mingi #mingi angst #song mingi ateez #song mingi angst #ateez x female reader #ateez mingi #ateez song mingi #ateez angst #mingi x female reader #song mingi x female reader

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sockablock · 4 years ago

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Chapter 12: The Petals on Her Brow

“No.”

“But—”

“No. Close your eyes.”

“This is boring! Do I really have to—”

“Yes.”

“But—"

“Yes. You do. I will not tell you twice.”

— — —

Back in the cabin, Team Regular People had set up camp in the living room.

Only about an hour had passed since breakfast, but in that time, they’d already managed to turn the couches into literary chaos. On the coffee table, stacks of atlases and maps had been supplemented—then supplanted—by the hundreds of pages of chemistry notes that Nott was supposed to be preparing for the summer semester. Jester similarly had strewn all her summer homework onto the carpet. Fjord was half-slouched in an armchair buried nose-deep in a tome titled The United Nations Convention on the Law of the Sea, looking for all the world like would rather throw himself into the ocean than keep reading.

And as those three languished in the rigors of academia, Caleb, Beau, and Caduceus were sitting at the kitchen table, hunting for Yasha’s mystery flower. So far, they had already eliminated almost everything growing in Eastern Europe, though Caleb had been convinced for a while that the flower was liverwort.

“Its name is ‘Leberblümchen’ in German,” he said. “We used to see it in our garden.”

Beau stared critically at the page, then turned to examine Yasha’s drawing. “Your thing isn’t pointy enough,” she said. “And it doesn’t have enough of those…stringy things in the middle.”

“Liverwort is usually blue, too,” Caduceus said. “Sorry, Mister Caleb.”

He sighed. “It is fine, perhaps we should move farther south.”

Beau pulled over another book and started flipping through the pages. “Do you miss being home?” she asked idly. “I know you haven’t been back there in a while.”

She mentally kicked herself when she noticed Caleb’s smile turn melancholy.

“Oh, fuck, I didn’t mean to remind you—”

He shook his head. “No, no, it is alright, Beauregard. I do miss it, of course. In many parts. Your beer in America is piss poor, for example.”

She immediately rolled her eyes. “Yeah, you say that all the time.”

“It’s a sticking point. Oh, and your trains are very bad—”

“Ugh, I know—”

“—and none of your restaurants know what eggs and soldiers is.”

“No one knows what the hell that is.”

“I don’t,” Caduceus piped up. “What is that?”

“It is a soft egg eaten with little strips of toast. It is the only way to eat toast,” Caleb said wistfully.

“It sounds like you haven’t been back in a while.” Caduceus dipped his head. “It must be difficult, being so far from your family like that.”

“Ah.” Caleb’s expression changed. It was subtle, but the softness in his eyes went still. “That is…I do not have family there, anymore.”

“Oh, I—Caleb, I’m sorry—”

He raised his hand. “It is alright, Caduceus. You did not know. It is not, ah….”

“He doesn’t go around advertising it,” Beau said.

“Well,” Caleb huffed, though not at all angrily, “that is certainly one way to put it. And…yes, to elaborate a little more, since the rest of these people already know, I…some time ago, something happened back home and I decided to leave. It…was not an easy choice, but inevitable, I think, in some ways. And while I do miss Germany, as I said, being here, with my friends, has helped me quite a lot. I am…I find that when I say ‘I’m okay,’ lately, I mean that more and more.”

“You should’ve seen him before,” Beau grinned. “He had such a stick shoved up his ass he could barely smile—though, uh, I guess that’s not surprising since—”

She shut her mouth. She opened it.

“I’m going to go back to staring at flowers now.”

Caleb snorted. He slid another book across the table. “Here, try this one,” he said. “Plants of Italy. If it is not in here, we switch to the Americas.”

She took it. “Thanks. Here’s hoping.”

“Let’s go for another thirty minutes,” Caduceus said. “Don’t forget, it’s important to stretch and take breaks.”

— — —

“Seriously, if you don’t let me, I’ll die.”

“You will not.”

“I will. I swear, I will. I have to take a break. Ten minutes. Five minutes! Sixty seconds, at least, or I drop dead.”

From her perch on the large grey boulder that lay at the edge of the woods behind the cabin, Yasha opened one eye and saw that Mollymauk was already lying down.

He’d rolled off his log and was even in the grass. She frowned. “You are not even trying.”

“I tried, but none of this makes any sense! Sit still and try to ‘feel myself’?” He made air quotes. “Yasha, dear, if that’s what you really wanted, I definitely would not be sitting still.”

He waggled his eyebrows. She ignored him.

“Controlling your energy instinctive,” she said instead. “It is tied to our ability to see and read auras. But because you do not know how to do either, I am doing my best to explain it to you. This is the only way I know how. You are really not taking this seriously.”

“You think I’m not taking this seriously?” He scoffed. “Do you really think I would put myself through any of this if I didn’t think I had to? Need I remind you that my family was attacked by those crazy bikers as well?”

“What? They are not your family,” she blinked. “We were your family. But you left us when you fell.”

He made a show of dramatic incredulity. “Then I also need to remind you, dear, that I haven’t the faintest idea what that means. I’ve got amnesia, remember? Accidental hellfire and devilish charms aside, I really am not a demon. Not culturally.”

She frowned. “Culturally?”

“And I’d really prefer not to dwell on it,” he continued. “As far as I’m concerned, as soon as I get this ‘aura’ nonsense under control, I’m going to go home and get back to living an extraordinary, charmed, non-demonic life.”

Her frown took on a confused note. “But…you are a demon. That is that.”

“No, no, you’re not getting it, Yasha.” He rolled over and looked her in the eye. “Listen to me. Whoever had this body before, maybe, maybe that person could’ve been a demon. But whoever that was, they weren’t me. They were just some stupid asshole who got buried in the earth for, for—I don’t know. Frankly, I don’t even care. Because it’s no concern of mine.”

“Er…buried?”

“Long story,” he shrugged. “Not important. What is important is that the person you see now, that person is me—Mollymauk Tealeaf. Fortune-teller, sword-spinner, lover of…well, lover. You aren’t going to get anywhere until you at least understand that. Alright?”

He rolled back over, crossed his arms on his chest.

“Besides, it seems as if—at least, from the context clues that I’ve pulled together myself—you’re missing a few memories too, aren’t you, Angel? Maybe you should try reinvention.”

Yasha was silent a moment. Eventually, “But I still know who I am. I did not lose that.”

“A pity.”

“It is…no, it is not a pity. It means I still have a purpose. And a past.”

Molly scoffed. “A past isn’t worth bragging about. The present, though, now the present is something.”

She titled her head. “Er…meaning?”

He waved a hand. “Well—well, okay, for example, can you honestly tell me that you aren’t enjoying what you have right now? In this cute little cabin? I still happen to be offended that you don’t think the carnival is my family, but you seem to have found one of your own, too. These people, here, and their delicious pancakes.”

“W—yes, the pancakes are good, but—"

“And those tiny little blueberries, delicious!” he sighed. “I haven’t had berries that sweet since…who knows?”

“You…like sweet things?” Yasha blinked. “Wait, go back, what was it that you said about family?”

“Oh, so you do care that you upset me?”

“I did?”

“Of course you did! My god, The Fletching and Moondrop might not’ve been the most functional of units, it might not’ve been the most traditional, but I certainly cared about them a lot. They found me when I had nothing, was no one. They gave me a home. They took care of me. They were my whole world, and trying to deny me that is basically like—it’s spitting in my face!”

Her gaze drifted downward. “I did not know. I am sorry.”

“Oh, cheer up, cheer up!” He scrambled upright. “You didn’t know, it’s alright, Yasha. God, have I just made an angel feel guilty? Isn’t it supposed to be your job to do that?”

Her brow furrowed. “I have been trying to do my job for two hours. I am supposed to teach you. You do not listen.”

“Because that’s boring. Sitting still is no fun.”

“I explained it already, Mollymauk. You are not just sitting still, you are centering yourself to connect with the world’s energy, then turning it inward—”

“Oh, I know! Why don’t I teach you, instead?”

She stopped. Her brow furrowed. “You…what?”

“Let me teach you something!” He clapped his hands together, eyes shining with glee. “Come on, come on, what do you say? It can be anything you like! Tarot reading!”

“No, what—”

“Alright, alright, it’s not for everyone, okay…how about sword spinning?”

She frowned. “Why would you do that?”

He rolled his eyes. “Why not? It’s flashy, exciting, and you can show off your skills! What, think won’t don’t have the dexterity for it?”

Something in Yasha bristled. “I am good with swords.”

“Then prove it! I’ll go back into the house right now and fetch the glass ones, then—"

The fog cleared; she caught on. “Wait, wait. If you go in, I am sure that you will not come back out.”

He laughed, completely unashamed. “Fine, fine, how about…oh! Why don’t I teach you to make flower crowns?”

She immediately opened her mouth in protest, but for some reason, somewhere along the line, the response that came out was a semi-choked, “Huh?”

“Flower crowns!” He grinned again, sensing weakness. “Come on, it’s great if you like flowers. Don’t tell me you don’t have those in Heaven.”

“I…it is called Elys—of course we have flowers.”

“Perfect! Do you have a favorite kind?” He leaned forward. “C’mon, I promise it’ll be quick, and then I’ll absolutely pay attention to the energy stuff. Just ten minutes! Only ten.”

She wanted to argue again. She knew she had to, it was her duty, her responsibility to tell him no way, to pick him up and throw him over her shoulder and sit him up straight and threaten him until he listened…

But what she said was:

“…fine. Ten minutes, and then we start again.”

“Yes!”

— — —

“Do you think he’d look good with pink instead?” Jester let a strand of Caleb’s hair fall from her hand and back onto his shoulders. “Caduceus could probably help, too. Couldn’t you, Caddy?”

“Sure I could.”

“I don’t know,” Nott rubbed her chin. “I mean, pink, don’t get me wrong, it’s a great color—”

“Thank you.”

“—but close to the original. If we’re going to do a dye job, it should be wild.”

Caleb counted to ten. “The ‘if’ in your statement should sound more hypothetical,” he said.

“Well, it’s only if you want it, Caleb. But you know, you’d look really cool with dyed hair!” Jester gushed. “How about a streak? Like Fjord? To be stylish?”

“I’m glad you think I’m stylish,” Fjord called from his armchair, Conventions now draped across his face. “But you know I didn’t do this on purpose.”

“Right, right—”

“What, really?” Nott glanced at him. “What happened? Don’t tell me it was a prank someone pulled.”

“Why?” he grunted. “Upset you didn’t do it first?”

“Yes! Of course I am!”

He sighed, and tugged the book off his face. He ran a hand through his short black hair and found the shock of white streaking through it.

“I got it in the accident. With the shipping company, remember? That whole thing with the engine malfunction. Big storm, boat went down, but, uh, I got rescued.”

“Yeah,” said Nott, immediately relenting. “I…remember. You nearly drowned.”

“Yeah, well,” he shrugged. “I noticed this grey streak after leaving the hospital. So…either a nurse used some real strong hair dye, or…I dunno, maybe it was from the stress?”

Jester very quickly reached over and squeezed his hand.

He gave a tiny smile. “It’s alright, it’s been a while since it happened. And you know, thanks to all the bad press they got after, they had to do something for me. So…it balanced out.”

“They sent you to college,” said Caduceus, remembering. “The scholarship?”

“Yeah. And an offer to work for them again after I graduate.”

“Hell no!” screeched Nott. “Are you kidding me? After everything that happened, do they really expect you to work for them again? Or even to go out on the water?”

“I dunno,” he shrugged, “I really liked sailing, I…I miss it sometimes, actually. But I probably shouldn’t go back to them, that’s true.”

“What was the name of the company?” she demanded. “I’m going to leave them terrible reviews.”

“I don’t think you can do that for corporations.”

“Just give me a name, Fjord, it’ll make me feel better, if not you.”

He sighed and put his book back on his head. “U.K. Toa Shipping Industries. Have fun.”

“U.K.?” Caleb gently tugged himself free. “It is British?”

Fjord was quiet for a moment. “Huh,” he said. “You know, I don’t actually know. I always assumed so, but I guess I never asked.”

“That’s it,” Caduceus suddenly said.

They all turned.

“That’s what, Caddy?” Jester said.

“Fjord’s accent,” he grinned. He sounded incredibly satisfied. “You’re British now, aren’t you? I knew there was something different.”

A pause. Then:

“Oh my god, I completely forgot—”

“Nott—”

“That’s right! You did do that, Fjord—”

“Jester, I’m begging—”

“You told me you were Texan,” Caduceus nodded. “You talked all…twangy, before. In freshman year.”

“He did, didn’t he?” Nott all but beamed.

“I want to die,” Fjord moaned. “I want to die, it was—it wasn’t a phase, but…oh god…” He sunk down even lower in his chair.

“It’s a sweet reason,” Jester said supportively. “Real sweet.”

“Really?”

“Yeah! Fjord, can I tell him?” she asked.

He vaguely waved his hand and Jester removed his book to tap him on the nose.

“Well, you see, Fjord did it partially ‘cause he was going to America and he didn’t want to stick out as the British kid. But he also did it because he wanted to remember his old captain. Vandren.”

“He was Texan,” Fjord mumbled. “And it wasn’t just, you know, remembering by itself, it was also…I dunno, I wanted to emulate him. He was…he had this way of commanding a room that just…you know.” He shifted awkwardly. “I…I wasn’t the…most confident person, before. When I was younger, especially. But putting on a mask, pretending to be Vandren, it…helped. Especially since nobody knew me here.”

Caduceus hummed his understanding, and nodded.

“What changed?”

Fjord’s cheeks colored. “Well…you know. After a while, I realized it was…pretending to be Vandren was preventing anyone from knowing me. The mask was comfortable, but it wasn’t…true.”

Caduceus smiled. “Jester was right. That is very sweet. I’m happy for you. And this accent isn’t bad.”

Fjord chuckled. “Thank you,” he tipped his book like a hat. “That is—thank you kindly, partner.”

“It’s tragic that you decided to be genuine,” Nott sighed, leaning back into a cushion. “Your southern accent was way hotter—”

“I got it!”

This outburst came from Beau, who had ended her break early to resume the search. Fjord all but threw himself out of the living room in pursuit of this new distraction.

“What?” he asked, sliding into the kitchen. “Is it a match?”

“Fuck yeah it is, look! Everyone, look!”

The rest trailed in behind him and gathered around Beau, who was practically vibrating.

“Trientalis borealis! The starflower!” she yelled. “Here it is—” she slapped Yasha’s drawing onto a page displaying a faded photo. “It’s a perfect match, seven pointed petals, a lot of yellow stringy stuff in the middle. And it’s tiny. Half an inch wide.”

“The starflower is one of the more common spring wildflowers native to eastern North America,” Caleb read, sitting down in the chair next to her. “The species name borealis refers to being from the north, although this plant is also distributed in the Midwest and the higher elevations of the southern Appalachian Mountains. Depending on latitude and altitude, starflowers generally bloom from mid to late spring into early summer.”

He leaned back, and gave Beau an amazed look. “You are right, this photo is exactly the same. You…you did it, Beauregard, that is…incredible.”

She punched the air. “Now who’s the king of nerds?! Wait, gross…”

— — —

“—little longer, you just need a second color. Something, hm…maybe blue. Or yellow. Preference?”

“P—what? Oh, uh…either is fine.”

Yasha and Molly had drifted away from their makeshift stools and into the forest, coming through the grass for summer blooms. Molly was flitting from flowerbed to flowerbed, plucking up stems and laughing when bumblebees had to spiral out of his way. Yasha had taken to sitting below a tree trunk, moving as little as angelically possible, so as to not disturb her crown.

Molly had placed it atop her head, and she could feel the petals on her brow. They were purple wildflowers. They were soft.

Yasha was always surprised by just how soft flowers could get—after all, they had to live outside all the time and there was so much danger, so much weather, it was a miracle they could grow at all. Still, it made her nervous to touch flowers; she was worried that her big, calloused hands would break them, maybe damage or ruin them somehow—

“Don’t be silly, love. You could never do such a thing.”

Yasha flinched, startled. “What?”

“Er…I just asked if you liked these,” Molly frowned. He’d flopped back down beside her and was showing off a hand of pudgy yellow blossoms. “Are you alright, dear?”

“Oh, er…yes. I am fine.” She blinked, and that whispered voice was gone. A second later, she wasn’t sure if it’d been there at all.

“In that case, look, look, what do you think?” He held the flowers up to the sun. “Nice, right?”

Yasha felt her face soften. A tiny smile crept into the corners of her mou—

“Hey, where’d they go? Yasha? Mollymauk? Where are you guys?!”

“I think I see them, through there—"

“Uh-oh.” Molly turned to Yasha and grinned. “I think we’ve been made.”

She groaned, and shut her eyes.

— — —

“—you understand how important this is?! We told you what the stakes were, I can’t believe you were picking flowers!”

“Hey! Why does everyone think I don’t understand anything? And anyway, Yasha was with me the whole time—”

“Oh, right, pin it on her, you asshole—”

“Fuck you, I’m not pinning anything on anyone—”

“Hey, hey, okay, calm down,” Fjord stepped between them and raised his hands. “Whoa, déjà-vu. Anyway, let’s just relax. Please?”

“She’s accusing me for no reason,” Molly said, hackles lowered but still with a bite.

“And he’s slacking off,” Beau glared.

“Yasha did say they agreed to take the break together,” Fjord reminded her. “And it’s the first day. It’ll take time to perfect the, uh, formula, right, Yasha?”

The three of them turned to look at Yasha, who was standing back with the rest of their friends, wearing an expression of absolute discomfort.

“Er…er…yes, right,” she said clumsily. “We just got…carried away.” She gave Beau a nervous nod. “Sorry.”

This was enough to soothe Beau’s foul mood. She sighed. “I don’t blame you, Yasha, I blame that one.” She jabbed a halfhearted thumb at Molly.

“Hey!”

“Just let her have this,” Fjord said.

“It’s not your fault,” Beau continued, ignoring them. “And—ugh, I hate being the bigger person—I get it. It’ll take time. You need breaks. I’m…sorry I freaked out.”

“Thank—” Molly began.

“Not you.”

“Well, It was worth a try.”

Yasha seemed more than relieved by Beau’s words. “You do not need to be sorry either, but thank you. And I will be more, ah, better next time.”

“Next time,” Molly grumbled. “Well, as long as she isn’t there, next time.”

“That is right,” Yasha tilted her head. “Beauregard, why did you come outside?”

From the back, Jester grinned. “Oh, Yasha, it’s so exciting!”

“That’s right!” Beau’s face lit up immediately, her annoyance at Molly all but melting away. “Guess what?”

“Er…what?”

She whipped out a book, small and bound with a soft green cover.

“I found it. Your flower.”

Yasha’s eyes widened. “You—what? You did? Where is it? What is it called?”

Her grin widened as she turned the pages. “It’s the Trientalis borealis, let me show you the picture—"

“Tren…” Yasha frowned in concentration. “The…three-foot…no, one-third—”

Beau actually laughed, then flipped the book around, pointing to a small picture beneath text. “Its common name’s ‘starflower.’ Sound familiar?”

“Star…flower.” Yasha hesitated. “That sounds…I’m not sure…”

“It would be ‘ʢƾʯɬƺƛᵿɿʑʖɕʚɬ,’ I think—” Caduceus said.

“Yeah?” Beau asked hopefully.

Yasha nodded. Her frown had vanished, and now she was staring at the book, nearly frozen, glued to the image of a little white flower. “…starflower,” she murmured. “ʢƾʯɬƺƛᵿɿʑʖɕʚɬ. You found it.”

“Hell, yes!” cheered Nott from between the others.

Yasha managed to tear her gaze away and this time, it fell on Beauregard.

“Thank you,” she breathed. “You…found it. Thank you.”

Beau’s cheeks flushed. She forced herself to stay still. “Oh, well, you know, it was…it…nothing.”

She did not resist as Yasha took the book, moving it closer to get a better look. “No, it is everything,” she said. “You did it.”

“Well—fuck, I mean, you know,” she scratched her neck and looked down, “I told you I would.”

“And you did. Thank you.”

“Now that she has found the flower,” Caleb cut in, both to Beau’s relief and disappointment, “we can start narrowing down a region. In fact, we already know from this book that the starflower is endemic to the United States.”

Yasha patiently waited for him to elaborate.

“That is, it grows near us. It is common on the east and west coasts, and is usually found in the early summer.”

He stepped forward, and with Yasha’s permission, flipped the page and showed her a map. Much of the US and Canada were blue.

She traced this with a finger. “Wait, then…does that mean I might have been in Iothia this whole time? Or right next to it?”

“That remains to be seen. It depends on how big Iothia is,” Caleb said. “And of course, again, exactly where it is. But we can use this map, and the geographical features we know, to compile a list of locations that would give you the most likely areas of Iothia.”

He gave Yasha a satisfied nod. “You are well on your way to going home, Engel.”

Her gaze fell back to the book. She turned the page to look at the flower.

Its name is ‘starflower.’ Isn’t that funny?

“Wha—why is that funny?” she said out loud.

“Hm?” Caleb cocked his head. “Why is what funny?”

She frowned. “The…name of the flower, I think. Or the…stars?”

“Actually, I was thinking that too,” Nott said. “Since, you know, you fell from the sky, right? And I guess these little flowers did too!”

Beau groaned. “So, this whole time, we were looking for a pun?”

“I think that’s irony, actually—” Fjord began.

Yasha blinked.

—and that whispered voice was gone…

When she looked up again, everyone was staring at her.

“Are you okay?” Jester asked. “You…is everything alright?”

—a second later, she wasn’t sure if it’d been there at all—

She shook her head, then realized that looked like a negative and managed to produce a weird, swooping nod.

“I am very happy,” she said quickly. “I am just…it is just a lot to take in. The flower. This…memory, it was…something important.”

Caduceus smiled. “Then it gets to be important again. This time, it’ll help you find your way home.”

Seven little petals. Bright like a star. Tiny enough to fit in someone’s hand.

She passed the open book back to Beau. She noticed Beau’s hand brush the flower.

“I…you are right,” she said, half to herself. “I think it will.”

“We all will,” Beau grinned.

—

✨ Ko-Fi Link in Bio! ✨ | Requests are OPEN!

#critical role #critrole #cr2 #critfic #fic #fanfiction #fanfic #woof this is a MEATY chapter #i hope you guys enjoy!!#jay writes #beauyasha #a storm is blowing in from paradise #<3333333333 #text #long post

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miraculousmarifan · 4 years ago

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Felinette Month 2020 - Day 11: Ballroom Dances

Sorry for the delay on day 11 of the @felinettenovember prompts! I found out my spouse had the night off yesterday, which throws my after work plans out the window, since he wants to spend time with me (crazy right?). Add in writer’s block for the entirety of my remaining writing time and a complete change in idea 0this morning and you’ve got this. If the motivation ever returns (after November ends) I might try to finish my original plan for this (more of a throwback to when my high school included a short unit about dancing during gym) and give you another Felinette dancing fic.

So here’s some fluff and accidental reveals.

Chat!Felix and definitely taking place near the end of their high school time.

Around 1900 words

Patrols were Felix’s favorite part of the week. Not only did he get to run across the rooftops as Chat Noir, pushing himself to move faster and grow stronger, but he also got to see his partner. After the akumas started getting stronger, the two agreed that they should get together once or twice a week to spar. Ladybug was light on her feet and surprisingly strong, but he had raw mass on her and was using the patrol to build up his stamina. Modeling didn't cut it. Afterwards he would sneak out to find some extra food to supplement his diet and avoid dropping weight. Doing this for a few years had really improved his fighting and he felt this helped the pair stay in tune better during battles. He noticed they fell under an akuma's influence less than when it first began (him especially) and the battles seemed to be more contained.

Tonight was different from their usual sessions though. Ladybug seemed too distracted during their sparring and he had the upper hand for too much of it.

"Something on your mind, L?" Felix asked, backing out of their chalk-drawn ring to signify his ending the exercise. He grabbed his water bottle and sat near the edge of the roof. Her quiet steps marked the approach and she sat next to him.

"Yeah. Civilian life problems." She sighed out, slouching slightly.

"Same. Would you like to share some general parts? If you don't want to, is it alright if I do?" Felix didn't want to pry. A few months into their partnership, they had a serious talk about his crush and the way his actions and words were making her uncomfortable. He took it to heart, examining where the line was, and worked to be better. It also helped their battle chemistry to know they could trust each other to listen and respect. It hurt Felix’s heart a bit to be rejected but if Ladybug's belonged to someone else, there wasn’t anything to do about it.

"You can go first. I'm not sure how much I want to share yet…" she took another deep breath and pushed it out through her nose. Relaxation techniques. Both of them had learned a variety to try preventing either from becoming akumatized.

"As you've known for a while, I've been trying to move on from you since you told me you liked someone else a lot. I actually have a girl in my school that is pretty extraordinary. She's smart, very kind, and rather talented. Even my father likes her and he doesn't like anybody. I'm considering asking her to a school event that's coming up, as a date. However almost every guy in her class has had feelings for her and she declines everyone that gets the courage to ask her out, sweetly of course. Because that's how she is. Kind but firm," he couldn't hold back the sigh or keep his shoulders from the weight of his worry. Ladybug reached over and rubbed his upper back gently.

"Why not give it a try? She might just be waiting for the guy she likes to ask her. I would in her shoes… Plus you're a great guy, Chat! It could even be you!" she supplied encouragingly, turning to give him a smile. He knew she was probably correct about the first part, especially given how often she was right about Marinette. Every piece of vague advice she gave worked in his favor and actually was the reason he had managed to befriend her and started to view her differently.

"Yeah. You're usually right," the first word more of a sigh than actually spoken. He still felt nervous but her support eased it just a little. He wouldn't know unless he asked.

"Actually I’m worried about something kind of similar. I'm planning on going to a dance coming up and I want to ask the guy I like to a slow dance at it, if he comes. But I don't know how to dance and, based on a conversation with one of his friends, he was taught to ballroom dance… plus I always get weak-kneed around him so it makes me a little clumsy. So he probably wouldn’t want to dance with me anyway…" a blush spread across her cheeks as she spoke. He couldn’t help but laugh internally at the coincidence that her school would have a dance coming up too. He guessed it must be the season for it though.

"I can help you out with that, if you'd like. Part of it at least. I have taken some waltz lessons for different events my father forced me to attend." Felix slowly climbed to a standing position and offered a hand to his partner. She accepted and rose.

"I forgot that your family attends formal events like that… I really appreciate your help!" A little of her usual shine came back. Amazing how much hope can light up someone's eyes.

With her assent, he began explaining and demonstrating the basic steps, positioned her arms in the air before her so he could correct posture, then had her practice without a partner initially. Then he began explaining leading and stepped in to demonstrate what it was like having a partner.

She was not great at the start, however with her focus and already light feet, she picked up on the dance relatively quickly. By the end of this lesson, she at least could hold up with the basics.

"Would you like to practice this again in the next week or two?" He offered, proud at the progress she made in such a short time. She affirmed that she wanted to practice more, the two deciding once a week for the next three weeks would be ideal. Before parting for the night, he reminded her to practice the steps on her own each night if she really wanted to be confident in them, especially in her dress and shoes once she had them.

Over the next few weeks, Ladybug was dutiful in her practice and lessons and improved drastically. Felix couldn’t help but wonder if her transformation helped or if she really was this graceful in her civilian life. If she was, it would seem like a dead giveaway to him.

Felix, on the other hand, had not built up his courage enough to ask Marinette to be his date to their school dance. She seemed so busy helping the student council prepare for it, just another responsibility of class representatives. He only had one more week to ask her as his school dance took place the next Saturday.

"I'm confident that you're good enough for a simple dance, L. I'm pretty sure you could even handle it if he threw in some turns. You don't have any reason to worry!" Felix assured his partner after their last practice session. It seemed her nerves weren't any calmer than his.

"Thanks. I'm sure it can't be more of a disaster than some of the other things that have happened around him… Did you ask that girl out yet?" She looked expectantly and he couldn't help but avoid eye contact.

"Not yet… she has been rather busy so I don't want to bother her. As far as I know, she isn't going with anyone though," he answered reluctantly, running his hand from the back of his neck forward.

"Oh Chat, you can do this. It's just one moment of courage and then the two of you either move on with your lives or go on a date and decide where to go from there!" Ladybug clearly was excited for him, completely confident that the results would be fine. Felix wished he could tap into that enthusiasm.

"I'll do my best… maybe I'll visit her and ask outside of school…" he tried to sound assured. Maybe I'll feel less pressure asking outside of school. He also began planning to himself how he would ask too. It hadn't occurred to him until then that he might want to do something more than just say it. He should probably bring her something she likes when he asks.

"Good luck!" Ladybug shouted to him as they parted ways again.

At school on Wednesday, Marinette was surprised when Felix asked if he could stop by the bakery that evening. She agreed and asked if he wanted her to have anything ready. He assured her she didn't need anything for him and that he likely wouldn't be there too long. This didn't relieve any of her confusion at his sudden request.

She was even more surprised when Felix brought her a bouquet of flowers and a spool of nice silk ribbon, and asked her to go to the school dance with her. She readily agreed and, pulling up a photo of the fabric she had used for her dress, asked if he minded the color scheme she had chosen before having a date. She even offered to make him a tie to match, if he wanted. He assured her he had one that would match well and she didn’t need to worry about anything else regarding the dance. They set a time for him to pick her up the following week before parting. Felix kissed her hand gently before walking to his car, hoping the small flirtation would be acceptable and indicated his sincerity. Marinette blushed and watched until his car had pulled into traffic.

When Felix arrived at the bakery to take Marinette to the dance, he was unprepared for all of the pomp that accompanied it. First her parents took pictures of him before she came downstairs, (apparently they had been taking pictures of her preparing and gotten a few of her alone upstairs), and then there was the moment she came down.

She looked fantastic, hair done up in a single bun, with the flyaway pieces curling around her face and the ends of the pulled up strands curled slightly around the bun. The main body of her dress ended just above her ankles, however the sheer fabric layer on top hung to her toes in her 8 cm heels. The top was tighter around her waist and dropped down in a fashion that complimented her thin frame but didn't hug it. The scoop neckline was high and flat and the sleeves covered most of her bicep. Her necklace and bright smile completed her look.

Felix's mouth may have hung open but he was more focused on her than how he looked right then. When she hesitantly walked towards him, blushing beautifully, and asked what he thought of the dress she had designed, he's sure he said something coherent and complimentary beyond a single uttered "wow," no matter what her parents say. They took more photos of the pair posing together before letting them leave. Her parents decided that their favorite picture was very possibly the one catching the look on his face when he first saw her.

Felix was in for another surprise after he asked her for a slow dance, expecting Marinette to simply wrap her arms around his neck and sway, when instead she shyly asked if a waltz was okay, as that's the only slow dance she knew. He was thrilled by the coincidence and they became the center of attention with their perfectly timed waltz. If either was reminded of their costumed partner’s dancing, it was unconsciously. At the end of the night, he surprised her by asking if she would like to continue dating him. She said yes.

The next joint patrol between Chat Noir and Ladybug ended with excited and more detailed updates on their respective situations. Both were surprised at the accidental identity reveal.

#felinette month 2020 #felinette month #chat!felix #identity reveal #felinette #miraculous ladybug

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fanfics4all · 5 years ago

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Not One Of You Anymore: Part 27

Request: Yes / No

Requests are closed <3 Have a nice day/night

John Murphy x Griffin!Reader

Word count: 3547

Warnings: People dying

Y/N: Your Name

Summary: You weren’t meant to be born but you were so when you were ten your mom and the Chancellor sent you to the ground as a test for the 100

PLEASE DO NOT STEAL MY WORK, I WORK HARD ON MY FICS AND IT’S NOT COOL TO STEAL SOMEONE ELSE’S WORK!

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Masterlist

(Not my photo, credit to whoever made it!)

Clarke’s POV

Once everyone left and it was just Murphy and I staring at the door, I knew I had to go see if the team in the mines was still there. I turned and walked away, but Murphy followed.

“Where are you going?” He asked.

“The mines.” I answered.

“Fine, then I’m coming with you.” He said and I stopped.

“No. Go back with the others.” I said facing him.

“No way in hell am I leaving here without Y/N.” He said and I sighed.

“Fine, let’s go.” I said and we started running. We got there and all that was left was Octavia.

“Octavia! You stayed.” I said and she turned her back to me.

“Screw you.” She said.

“Of course I stayed. I know where my loyalties lie.” She said facing me again.

“We have to get in there.” I said rushing over to the door, but she grabbed me.

“If that was possible do you think I’d still be out here?” She asked.

“Shit…” Murphy said as we looked at the dead body of Fox.

“Why did Lexa sound the retreat?” Octavia asked.

“She made a deal with Mount Weather. Freed the Grounders.” I answered walking further in the mines.

“Now we’re on our own.” I added.

“So Y/N is freed?” She asked.

“No, Lexa left her. She wasn’t part of the deal. Apparently their leader took a liking to her.” Murphy growled. I started banging on the door, but Octavia rushed over to stop me.

“Stop! They’ll know we’re here.” She said. I stopped and turned around, I didn’t know what to do…

“What about Lincoln? There’s no way he’d have gone along with a plan like this.” She asked.

“He didn’t. They took him.” Murphy answered. I held up my gun and aimed it at the padlock. Octavia once again stopped me.

“What’s wrong with you?” She asked.

“I am getting through that door!” I answered.

“And that’s your plan? Bellamy’s counting on you. Everyone’s always counting on you!” She said.

“Well what do you want from me?” I asked.

“You trusted Lexa. You let a bomb drop on Tondc. You let all those people-”

“I am doing the best I can!” I shouted, cutting her off.

“Well, it’s not good enough.” She said shaking her head.

“Guys.” Murphy said holding his gun at the door. I held my gun up and Octavia took out her sword.

“Bellamy?” Octavia said and walked over to him. I stared at him in shock. Monty and Jasper walked out and Octavia walked over to them.

“I knew it. You two are too scrawny to drill.” She said hugging them both then Maya walked out in a hazmat suit.

“It’s alright, she’s with us.” Jasper said.

“Where’s your army?” Bellamy asked.

“Gone. Just like yours.” I answered.

“Say you have a plan.” I begged.

“Not really. We need to talk to Dante.” He answered, turning around.

“Maya says he’s in quarantine.” He added.

“Clarke!” Jasper said and hugged me.

“Where’s Y/N?” Murphy asked.

“Still inside. She was with Miller and Fox last time we saw her.” Bellamy answered and Murphy looked back at the container with Fox’s dead body. Before anyone could say anything Maya’s suit started beeping. Jasper rushed over and checked the air.

“Thirty minutes. We just changed it, that can’t be right.” He said.

“Um… It’s her last tank.” He said looking over at us.

“Okay, we’ll find you another one.” I said walking over.

“All the supplemental oxygen is on Level Five.” She said.

“Then we have to get you to Level Five.” Jasper said.

“Five isn’t safe for any of us.” She said.

“We’ll take the trash chute again. It’ll work.” Jasper said.

“To get in maybe. But Maya’s right, every soldier in this mountain is there. We’ll never make it out.” Bellamy said.

“We can do this. We’ll split up.” Jasper said.

Okay. You guys go for Dante. We’ll help Maya.” Octavia said looking at Jasper and we left.

Y/N’s POV

They caught us… They had us hung up by our wrists, but I could feel my strength coming back. I would be able to fight again. We were watching them drill into our friends when they brought more in. Raven was brought in a little bit ago along with another man.

“On your knees.” They said to the people they just brought in with bags over their heads. Cage walked in and gave a small smirk. He hadn’t noticed I was here yet.

“Did we take any losses?” He asked.

“Not as many as they did, sir, but I’m afraid I’m the only one left who’s been cured.” Emerson said.

“Some of the kids are still missing. If you’d like I can take a team in hazmats, we’ll sweep the other levels.

“No. No more wasted lives. In 48 hours we’ll all be on the ground.” Cage said looking around. His eyes landed on me and they slightly widened.

“What is she doing in here?” He asked, still looking at me. Emerson looked over at me and his eyes also slightly widened.

“Sorry sir, someone must have mistaken her.” He said.

“Well get her down. Now.” Cage growled. Emerson walked over to me and undid my restraints. I was still weakened so I fell, but he caught me. He took me over to Cage. He held me to him and kissed my head.

“Now, take off their hoods.” He said and they started removing the hoods.

“Dad?” Miller whispered.

“Nate.” His father said looking at him in shock. He tried to get to him, but they hit him in the head.

“No! You bastards!” Miller shouted as they revealed more people.

“Y/N?” A man asked. I think he was part of the council with my mother, but I wasn’t sure. I was never allowed out, so I didn’t really know anyone’s face. They took off another hood and it was my mother.

“Y/N?” She asked, shocked.

“Mom?” I asked. I never thought I would be happy to see her, but here we are.

“So this is your Mother, I would say nice to meet you, but under these circumstances.” Cage said with a smile.

“What is wrong with you people?” The man that said my name asked.

“Where’s my daughter?” My mother asked him and he looked down at me confused.

“She’s talking about Clarke.” Emerson whispered. Of course she is, it’s always Clarke with her… Cage walked up to her, bringing me along and looked at her.

“I’m sorry it had to come to this.” He said and pulled me out of the room.

“I’m sorry you had to see that.” He said with a sigh.

“How could you…” I asked.

“It’s the only way we can be on the ground again. The only way we can be together he said and kissed me.

“Come, let’s get you some food.” He said and pulled me towards the dining room.

Clarke’s POV

We walked into Dante’s room and he stared at us in shock.

“Hello, Clarke.” He said.

“Sir, we need your help again.” Bellamy said.

“It’s okay. I took out the camera from this junction box in the hall. We can talk freely.” Monty said.

“No one’s watching anyway. Thanks to you, they’re all on Level Five.” Dante said.

“You’re not.” I said.

“No… I’m not.” He said.

“Please, we don’t have much time. We need a way to get our people out of this mountain without killing everyone.” Bellamy said.

“He’s not gonna help us.” I said.

“You cut the power, risking the lives of everyone in this mountain, my people… even the ones who helped you.” He growled at us.

“We knew they’d be safe on Level Five.” I said walking up to him.

“We made sure not to destroy the turbines so you could repair them. We’re the good guys here, not you.” I said.

“Tell me, if we released your people and theirs, what would have happened to mine?” He asked and I turned to Monty.

“Can you get us into the command center? We need to see what’s happening on Level Five.” I asked.

“No problem.” He answered.

“Let’s go.” Bellamy said, grabbing Dante.

“Looks like you’re gonna help us whether you like it or not.” Murphy said with a smirk. We made our way down to the command center, carefully just to be sure.

“I told you, there’s no one here.” Dante said.

“Sorry if we don’t take your word for it.” Murphy said.

“Why aren’t you with your people on Level Five?” I asked.

“After what I've done, they can be free. I can’t.” He said and Monty got to work.

“Deliverance comes at a cost. I bear it so they don’t have to.” He said.

“It wasn’t Cage.” Bellamy said and we looked at him.

“It was your idea to make the deal with the Grounders.” He said and Dante nodded.

“We’re in. Got ‘em.” He said and Bellamy went in first, gun at the ready.

“It’s clear. He was telling the truth.” He said and we all walked in.

“Let's get the monitors up.” I said. Monty got everything up and running.

“The command centers live.” He said and we looked at the screens.

“Oh my God…” I said looking at the one screen that had our people on it. They were drilling into them.

“Is that Raven?” Bellamy asked. I walked closer as Monty started moving the cameras around.

“Mom?” I whispered.

“Tell them to stop! Now!” Bellamy said while grabbing a walkie.

“I won’t do that.” Dante said.

“Screw this, let’s just kill him.” Murphy said.

“Shut it Murphy!” Bellamy growled. I looked at the screen where all their people were and saw Cage talking to Emerson, Y/N was with them.

“Emerson.” I growled and took the walkie from Bellamy.

“Carl Emerson, Mount Weather security detail, come in.” I said into the walkie.

“Who is this?” He asked.

“You know who it is. Give the radio to the President.” I said. I watched as he walked back over to Cage and Y/N.

“Is that Y/N?” Murphy asked.

“My son loves her. She’s been with him this whole time.” Dante said and Bellamy grabbed Murphy.

“Relax. We’ll get her back.” He said. Monty moved it to the main monitor and we watched as he took Y/N into the hall with him.

“This is President Wallace.” He said.

“I have your Father.” I said and Y/N’s eyes widened. We watched her say something to him and he shook his head.

“If you don’t let my people go, including my sister, I’ll kill him.” I said.

“How do I know you have him?” He asked and I held the walkie up to him.

“Stay the course, Cage.” He said to him.

“You won’t do it.” He said.

“You don’t know me and my friends very well.” I said looking over at Murphy. We watched as Y/N said something to him, but again he shook his head.

“This ends now. Release my people.” I said turning my back to the screen.

“I can’t do that.” He said.

“It would mean the end of our people, Clarke.” Dante said. I turned around and held my gun at him.

“Clarke, we need him.” Bellamy said.

“And I need his son to believe me.” I said.

“Don’t make me do this.” I said into the walkie. We watch Cage hesitate for a bit.

“Dad, I’ll take care of our people.” He said looking into the camera.

“None of us has a choice here, Clarke.” Danta said to me.

“I didn’t want this.” I said.

“Neither did I.” Danta said and I shot him in the chest making sure Cage heard it. Cage looked at Y/N and held her close.

“Listen to me very carefully. I will not stop until my people are free. If you don’t let them go… I will irradiate Level Five.” I said.

Y/N’s POV

Clarke killed Cage’s Father. Cage had held me close to him and kissed my head. He was hurt, good, he deserved it. Clarke was doing the right thing.

“Cage, listen to me. I don’t want anyone else to die. Stop the drilling and we can talk. There must be a way to get us all out of this.” She said and my eyes widened slightly. No! Just kill them all and be done with it!

“Emerson.” Cage said.

“Sir?” He said walking over to us.

“They’re watching us from the command center. Go kill them all.” He said.

“Yes, sir.” Emerson said.

“No Cage please! She’s right, there has to be a way for everyone to live!” I begged, even though if I get the chance I’m killing everyone here.

“No, come on.” He said and pulled me along with him. He pulled me back into the dormroom where they were holding and drilling everyone.

“Take that one off the table.” He said,

“Sir, we’re not done-”

“Now!” He said cutting the doctor off. They took Raven off and Cage looked at my Mother.

“Put her on it.” He said pointing at her.

“No!” My Mother said and they walked towards her.

“No! Please! Hey!” The man next to her begged.

“You don’t have to do this.” He said to Cage.

“Stop!” My Mother begged.

“There has to be another way!” I begged.

“There isn’t! Now stop or I’ll put you on that table too!” He shouted at me and I stared at him in fear.

“No one has to die for bone marrow! We can donate it! We can donate it.” The man shouted. I just stood next to Cage with his arm around my waist as they strapped my mother to the table. Lexa will be severely disappointed.

“Hey! We can donate it!” The man shouted again.

“That’ll never happen.” Cage said.

“I can. I can make it happen with her help!” The man said, but Cage just took a step closer, pulling me along.

“We can all survive.” The man said again.

“We can’t.” Cage said, shaking his head. They drilled into her and Cage looked up at the camera. I can almost fight! I can almost kill Cage…

Clarke’s POV

“Emerson’s coming for us.” I said.

“They deactivated my key card. Can you do that to his?” Bellamy asked.

“That one’s easy.” Monty said getting to work.

“Where’s he going?” Bellamy asked and I looked at the screen. Cage was walking off with my sister and we looked at another screen.

“The dorm.” I said.

“Monty, can you do it? Can you irradiate the level?” I asked.

“I can do it.” He answered.

“Wait a second, Clarke. We need to think about this. There are kids in there.” Bellamy said.

“I know.” I said.

“And people who helped us.” He said.

“Well, then, please, give me a better idea!” I said but he had nothing. We looked back at the screen and they were putting my Mother on the table.

“What have I done?” I asked. Kane and Y/N were getting him to stop, but Cage screamed at her and she looked at him in fear. He looked up at the camera and I stared in horror.

“Clarke, if we do this, there is no going back.” Bellamy said.

“Figure it out.” I said to Monty and he got to work.

“Now what?” Bellamy asked, looking at one of the screens. I looked over at the screen and Octavia was there killing two soldiers. Maya ran behind her and stared in shock.

“They gotta get out of there.” he said and they started running. There was a bang on the door and we looked over at it.

“He’s here.” I said.

“Jasper, they caught him.” Monty said and we looked over. Octavia and Maya walked into the mess hall and they were surrounded.

“Why are you stopping?” I asked Monty.

“Because I did it. All we have to do is pull this.” He said pointing at a lever.

“Hatches and vents will open, and the scrubbers reverse pulling in outside air.” He said.

“He’s gonna blow the door.” Murphy said and I looked up to see Emerson on the ground with a bag.

“Clarke, we’re out of time!” Monty said and I grabbed a hold of the lever.

“My sister. My responsibility.” Bellamy said.

“I have to save them.” I said. Bellamy placed his hand over mine and I looked up at him.

“Hate to ruin this moment, but hurry up!” Murphy said.

“Together.” Bellamy said and we pulled the lever down.

Y/N’s POV

The door opened and Jasper was being brought in. The guard walked him over to the wall and he was chained up. I watched him as he got out of his cuffs and turned around.

“Restrain him!” Cage said going over to him and a guard, leaving me next to the table. Jasper was holding a knife and I smirked. Alarms started going off and everyone looked around.

“What is it?” The men in the room asked. They all started burning except for Cage. He ran and Jasper went to go after him and I followed. He ran into the mess hall and Octavia was there next to Maya.

“Y/N!” She said. I ran next to them and kneeled down next to Jasper.

“Jasper, I know this sucks, but give me the knife.” I said.

“Why?” Octavia asked.

“Because I’m gonna kill Cage.” I growled.

“Are you strong enough?” He asked and I nodded. He handed me the knife and I ran out.

“Wait I’m coming with you.” Octavia said.

“No, go to the dorm. Get everyone free.” I said and she nodded.

“Be safe.” She said.

“You too.” I said and ran through the halls. I ran and found an open door. I smirked knowing that has to be where he went and followed. When I got outside Cage was there holding a high frequency device and a needle with red liquid in it and Lincoln was on the ground. Lincoln got up and sliced his hand off with his sword.

“No!” I shouted and stepped in front of him.

“Y/N? You followed me!” Cage said with a groan.

“He’s mine.” I growled turning to face Cage.

“Let me do one thing first, little one.” Lincoln said, picking up the needle.

“Be my guest. The more he suffers the better.” I said glaring at him. He pushed it into his neck and Cage fell to the ground.

“The first dose is the worst.” He said and handed me his sword.

“Do whatever you want with him now.” He said and I nodded. I stared him in the eye and stabbed him in the leg first.

“This is for keeping me drugged up.” I said and pulled the sword out. I stabbed him in his arm and he screamed.

“This is for raping me all those times.” I said pulling the sword out. Finally I stabbed him in the stomach.

“And this is for you to suffer.” I said and pulled it out once again.

“Come little one, let him bleed out.” Lincoln said and I nodded.

“Enjoy the ground.” I said and ran off with Lincoln. We ran to the front door and everyone was walking out.

“Y/N!” John said and I looked over and saw him running my way.

“You’re okay!” He said hugging me and lifting me off the ground.

“I am now.” I said smiling at him. He smiled back and kissed me.

“Y/N!” Clarke called and ran up to me. She hugged me and I smiled at her.

“Where’s Lexa?” I asked, realizing none of the Grounders are here.

“She made a deal with them. The Grounders get released and they leave.” She said.

“You weren’t part of the deal.” John growled.

“She did it for our people.” I said and they looked at me shocked.

“You’re okay with her just leaving you behind?” He asked.

“She knows what’s best for our people. If I must give my life for them, then so be it.” I said and they shook their heads.

“You’re one of us Y/N, not them.” Clarke said.

“We’ve been over this.” I said.

“You’re coming back with us.” She said and walked off.

“Please.” John begged and I sighed.

“I will, but I must go to Lexa. She must decide my fate.” I said and walked off to follow my sister. We got inside the camp they had set up and I watched as my sister didn’t enter. Her and Bellamy talked for a bit then she walked off while he walked inside.

“There’s a place we can go where we don’t have to worry about The Ark or Grounders.” John said while holding my hand.

“What?” I asked confused.

“Jaha he heard of a place, The City of Light.” He said and my eyes widened slightly.

“Across the dead zone? It’s dangerous.” I said.

“You’re scared of a little danger?” He asked with a smirk and I smirked back.

“Fine, I’ll go with you.” I said and he kissed me.

“We can be together, with no one judging either of us.” He said and I smiled.

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#The 100 #lincoln the 100 #the 100 imagine #john murphy #the 100 john murphy #john murphy x reader #john murphy x fem!reader #john x fem!reader #john murphy x griffin!reader #clarke griffin #clarke griffin x sister!reader #fanfic #the 100 season 2

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