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#I’ve been struggling a looooot with jealousy and being envious
rosicheeks
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1 month
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I get mad about Fb posts too!! I struggle with being jealous of others and it makes me hate myself. I wish I wasn't like this lol
I relate to this so much omg
#I’ve been struggling a looooot with jealousy and being envious
#I think it’s just hard to see people I know thriving when I’m trying so hard to simply survive
#I haven’t been able to go over to my sisters new place cause I’m just too jealous
#and I HATE it cause I want to be happy for them
#it’s a big thing to get a place or get married or have a baby or whatever
#that’s huge and if it’s someone I know and love I want to be happy for them
#but I can’t help but also look at myself and my own life
#and get incredibly sad and upset that this is how my life is turning out
#I wanted to do so many things with my life
#but this stupid mental illness is fucking everything up
#I’m just so so so sick of it
#I want to live a normal life like other people I know
#I went over to a new friends place and I’m still thinking about it
#she’s depressed and struggling with chronic illnesses like I am
#but she got married a few years ago and the husband is helping so much
#they have this beautiful townhouse that I would KILL for
#and they have a golden retriever
#and it’s just so hard to see someone who is struggling like I am but still has all of these things
#I’d fucking kill for a pet or a place of my own
#I’m so SO sick of living here and not having a safe space I can go to when I need to be by myself
#just having my car is such a shitty feeling
#but I know I’m privileged I have a roof over my head and I have a car I can run to
#I just wish I was in her position or everyone else who is in a better position/situation than I am
#and I know I know it’s not all black and white I’m sure there are struggles behind the camera that I’m not seeing
#but it’s still the fact that they have a place to go to or they have a dog to be with and get comfort from
#it’s just so fucking hard
#I can’t help compare my life to theirs every single time I see a happy post
#and don’t even get me started on how much I spiral when I see they are younger than me and doing better than I am
#ooooooh boy
#ask
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