#I’ve been stressing big time because everybody from previous years was like prepare to fail

[good-night-space-kid]

The final I’ve been super worried about turned out to be not that bad. I think I got around a 70% maybe a bit less but considering I thought I was going to fail I will take that

[the-desolated-quill]

WandaVision: ‘Subverting’ Good Television - Quill’s Scribbles

(Spoilers for the first five episodes)

Hey everyone! Well... it’s been a while, hasn’t it? The last time I wrote a proper review or Scribble, people still thought the COVID crisis would be over within a month. The poor saps. But I thought that as a special way to mark this year’s Valentines Day, we could take a closer look at the Marvel Cinematic Universe’s shittiest power couple in their new Disney+ show WandaVision.

The first of many MCU spin-off shows that nobody asked for, broadcast exclusively on Disney’s totally unnecessary streaming platform, WandaVision is about everybody’s favourite whitewashed Nazi experiment and her red sexbot boyfriend as they try to fit into a suburban sitcom neighbourhood without arousing suspicion.

Yes, you read that correctly. The MCU has a sitcom now. My life is now complete.

Sarcasm aside, I was legitimately curious about WandaVision because of its unusual setting. And considering one of my most common criticisms of the MCU is its total lack of creativity, anything that’s even a little bit subversive is bound to attract my attention. Of course ‘subversive’ doesn’t necessarily mean ‘good.’ I could hand you a canvas smeared with my own shit and call it subversive. That doesn’t necessarily make it good art. And that’s exactly what WandaVision is. A canvas smeared with shit.

So lets split this critical analysis/review/angry bitter rant into two distinct chapters. The first focusing on the plot and setting, and the second focusing on the characters. Okay? Okay.

Chapter 1: Bewitched

Critics seem to be utterly enamoured with the whole sitcom gimmick, and it is a gimmick. As far as I can tell from the episodes I’ve seen, the sitcom setting serves no real purpose whatsoever other than to make the show ‘quirky.’ Which I wouldn’t mind, believe it or not, if the show was actually funny. There’s just one problem. It’s not.

Now in some ways describing why a sitcom doesn’t work is often futile because comedy is largely subjective. What I find funny, you won’t necessarily find funny and vice versa. With WandaVision, however, I won’t have that problem. I can demonstrate to you precisely why WandaVision, objectively, isn’t funny. And it all comes down to one simple thing. The stakes. Or rather the complete and total absence of stakes.

The show makes it very clear from the beginning that none of what we’re seeing is real. The cheesy theme song, the era appropriate special effects (mostly. It’s actually very inconsistent), the joke commercials, and, in the case of the first two episodes, which are in black and white, the appearance of red lights and objects in Scarlet Witch’s general vicinity. (Gee, what a mystery this is).

Basically Wanda has brought Vision back from the dead and created this sitcom world for them to inhabit. I’ll explain the stupidity of this in Chapter 2. The point is none of this is real, and that has a negative effect on the comedy because the very nature of comedy is suffering. Take the plot of the first episode. Wanda and Vision have to prepare a dinner to impress Vision’s boss. If they fail, Vision could lose his job and the couple could be exposed as superheroes. If this were a normal sitcom, it would work. The stakes are clear and it would be satisfying to see the two struggle and overcome the odds. But here, we know it’s not real. If it’s not real, it means there’s no stakes. If there’s no stakes, it means there’s no suffering. If there’s no suffering, there’s no comedy.

It would be one thing if the unfunny sitcom stuff lasted for like the first ten minutes or so before making way for the actual plot, but it doesn’t. Oh no. It doesn’t even last for the first episode. Out of the five episodes I’ve watched, four of them are almost entirely about these unfunny, objectively flawed sitcom homages, each set in a different time period. The fifties, the sixties, and so on. And what’s worse is that nothing that happens in them is plot-relevant. That gets relegated to the last five minutes of an episode. So you’re forced to sit through twenty five minutes of boring slapstick and puns in order to catch even a whiff of actual story. Which begs the question... who is this for exactly? It can’t be entertaining to Marvel fans, who have to slog through all this pointless shit so they can figure out what the fuck is going on. Comedy fans may get a kick out of the sitcom pastiche at first, but after four episodes, surely the joke would wear thin. So why is it in here? Clearly someone in the writer’s room absolutely fell in love with the idea of doing a Marvel sitcom, but nobody put in any time or effort to figure out how it would work in context.

I cannot stress enough how bad the plotting of this series is. As I said, the vast majority of a thirty minute episode is about shitty sitcom plots that aren’t funny and don’t have any impact on the story, only to then tease you with a crumb of actual plot in order to keep you coming back for the next instalment. Admittedly it’s an effective strategy. I was more than ready to quit after Episode 2 until that beekeeper showed up out of the sewer (don’t ask. It’s not important). WandaVision essentially follows the Steven Moffat school of bad writing. String your audience along with the promise that things might get more interesting later on and that all the bullshit that came before will retroactively make sense by the end. Except, as demonstrated with BBC’s Sherlock, that doesn’t work. And even if it did, it wouldn’t justify wasting the audience’s fucking time. And that’s what the majority of WandaVision is. A waste of time.

The only episode that doesn’t follow the sitcom format is the fourth episode. Instead it basically exists to explain all the shit that happened before. The shit that the audience, frankly, are smart enough to figure out for themselves. Wanda created the sitcom world as a way of coping with the loss of Vision, blah, blah, blah. Yeah, we got it. Thanks. It doesn’t advance the plot or anything. It’s just a massive info-dump. But by far the lowest point was when Darcy (by far the most annoying character in the first Thor film and is just as obnoxious here) was sat in front of the TV, watching the sitcom and asking the same questions we were. Not even attempting to look for answers. Just reiterating what the audience is thinking. Like this is an episode of fucking Gogglebox.

In the end it becomes apparent why the series is structured the way that it is. It’s to hoodwink people into subscribing to Disney’s stupid streaming service. If you think about it, there was no reason for WandaVision to be a TV series other than to lure gullible fans in with a piece-meal story buried in a mountain of crap. This isn’t a TV show. It’s what is cynically known in the world of big business executives as ‘content.’ They’re not interested in entertaining the audience. Instead they crave ‘engagement’, which isn’t the same thing. Watching WandaVision is like staring into the void, waiting for something to happen, while Disney charge you for the privilege.

Chapter 2: I Love Lucy

So the plot sucks balls. What about the characters? Surely if Wanda and Vision are likeable at least, it’ll give us something to cling onto.

Well as I was watching the first episode, it suddenly hit me that I couldn’t remember anything that happened to them in previous films. I knew Vision died, but other than that, I couldn’t tell you significant plot details or their personalities or anything. Not a great start.

See, up until now, Vision and Scarlet Witch have been little more than background characters. So already there’s an uphill struggle to get us invested in their relationship, especially considering we haven’t actually seen that relationship develop. In Avengers: Age Of Ultron, Scarlet Witch is killing people because she’s pissed off about Tony Stark killing people (you work that one out) until all of a sudden she stops and joins the good guys because the script said so. Vision meanwhile is introduced as a convenient deus ex machina to beat Ultron and gets no real personality other than he’s a robot. Captain America: Civil War comes the closest to giving Wanda a story and personality of her own as it’s her actions that cause the Sokovia Accords to come into effect, but she never gets any real growth or payoff as the film is heavily focused on Cap and Iron Man’s penis measuring contest. And as for Vision, all he does in the film is accidentally cripple War Machine. No real character or arc there as such. And then we have Avengers: Infinity War, where Wanda and Vision are now sporadically in love and on the run until that pesky Josh Brolin, looking like a CGI cross between Joss Whedon and a grumpy grape, comes along and rips out Vision’s Infinity Stone to power up his golden glove of doom, and the film treats this like a tragic moment, except... it isn’t. Because we haven’t really had the time to properly get to know these characters and see their romance blossom. So instead it just comes off as hollow and forced.

WandaVision has the exact same problem. Apparently Wanda was so distraught about Vision’s death that she broke into a SWORD base, stole his corpse, brought it back from the dead... somehow, and then enslaved an entire town of people to create an idyllic lifestyle for her and her hubby while broadcasting it as a sitcom to the outside world... for some reason. Putting aside the dubious morality of it all, it’s impossible to really sympathise with Wanda or her supposed grief because we’ve barely spent any time with her. Had the Marvel movies taken the time to properly explore the characters and show us their relationship grow and develop, this might have had more emotional resonance. But no, it just happens. In one film they barely speak to each other and in the next they’re a couple. No effort to explore how they feel about each other or any of the problems that may arise trying to date a robot. It just happens and we’re just supposed to care. Well I’m sorry, but I don’t care. You’re going to have to try a little bit harder than that I’m afraid. What’s worse is that, thanks to the whole fake sitcom thing, it’s impossible to really become invested in Wanda and her plight because the show has to constantly keep us at arms length at all times in order to keep up the pretence that this bullshit is somehow mysterious.

Looking through the WandaVision tag, it amuses me how many people say that she’s acting out of character. And yeah, her actions are a bit of a head scratcher. Why would an Eastern European’s ideal life be an American sitcom? Why a sitcom? Why kidnap an entire town? Why keep changing the decade? None of it makes sense, but you’re wrong for thinking that Wanda is behaving out of character for the simple reason that Wanda has never actually had a character. In fact, ironically, Wanda mind controlling an entire town and forcing them to do her bidding is probably the one consistent thing about her as she did this in Age Of Ultron. In interviews, Elizabeth Olsen and Paul Bettany described how they used actors like Elizabeth Montgomery and Dick Van Dyke as influences, which is really funny because they’re straight up admitting they don’t have characters and even now they’re still not playing the characters, instead emulating the work of far better actors.

As I was watching the show, it became abundantly clear that not only do Marvel not have the faintest idea what they wanted to do with these characters, but they also straight up don’t give a shit about these characters. Wanda in particular has had a rough time under the tyrannical regime of the House of Mouse. First they cast Elizabeth Olsen, a white woman, to play a Romani character, then systematically erasing her Jewish roots, even going so far as to put a cross in her bedroom in Civil War, and now the character is being butchered even more by forcing her into an American sitcom housewife role that she apparently willingly chose for herself, which is laughable. I mean say what you like about Magneto in the X-Men films, at least they actually depicted his Jewish culture. At least they recognised his Jewish background was important (though not important enough to cast a Jewish actor apparently). Wanda’s steady cultural erasure over the years is incredibly insidious and judging by Olsen’s comments in interviews, where she called Wanda’s comic book outfit a quote ‘gypsy thing’ unquote, it seems nobody has an ounce of fucking respect for the character or the culture she’s supposed to be representing. (and to all those kissing her arse saying it was a slip of the tongue, she has been repeatedly called out for using the slur in the past, so at this point I’d describe her behaviour as wilful ignorance)

If you want further proof of how much Marvel doesn’t seem to care about Wanda, look no further than her brother Pietro, aka Quicksilver. At the end of Episode 5, Wanda brings Pietro back from the dead, except it’s not Pietro. It’s Peter Maximoff, the Quicksilver from the X-Men films played by Peter Evans, who coincidentally is not Jewish or Romani either. So Quicksilver has the dubious honour of not only being whitewashed three times, but also twice within the same franchise. But should we really be surprised at this point? It’s Marvel after all. The same company that whitewashed the Ancient One in Doctor Yellowface and claimed it wasn’t racist because Tilda Swinton is ‘Celtic’. But now I’m going off topic. My point is that this isn’t a simple case of recasting an actor like Mark Ruffalo replacing Edward Norton as the Hulk. WandaVision actually acknowledges the recast in-universe, which makes no sense. Why would Wanda bring back her brother, only to make him look like a different person? We the audience may be familiar with this version of Quicksilver, but she isn’t. That would be like me bringing my Grandad back to life and making him look like Ian McKellen. He’d be perfectly charming, I’m sure, but he wouldn’t be my Grandad. 

If Marvel really cared about the characters or narrative consistency, they would have brought Aaron Taylor Johnson back. Instead, now they have absorbed 20th Century Fox into the hellish Disney abyss, they use X-Men’s Quicksilver as a means to keep viewers from switching off and so that people will write stupid articles and think pieces about whether the rest of the X-Men will show up in the MCU. It’s like dangling your keys in front of a toddler’s face to distract them from the rotting corpse of a raccoon lying face down in the corner of the room.

And it’s here where I decided to stop watching the show because fuck Disney.

Epilogue: One Foot In The Grave

You know, I am sick and tired of the so called ‘professional’ critics bending over backwards to praise these god awful films and shows when it’s so clear to anyone with a functioning brain cell how bad they truly are. WandaVision is without a doubt one of the most cynically produced and poorly structured TV shows I’ve ever seen. Its riffs on classic sitcoms are pointless and self-indulgent, the writing is terrible, the characters are unlikable and unsympathetic, and it’s entirely emblematic of what the entire MCU has become of late. And it’s only going to get worse as Disney drowns us with more ‘content’ to keep the plebs ‘engaged’. In short; pathetic.

[everydreamtilldawn]

Endgame Thoughts *Spoilers obviously and a whole lot of venting*

OK Endgame, here we go! The absolute disrespect to the audience, the actors, the characters, and all the other creators who put so much work and care into building characters and stories for the other movies and shows which led up Infinity War and Endgame. The Russos are so far up their own asses with how good they think they are. I'm so done with their pure spoiler free excuses. Not letting actors know what scenes they're in, who they're with - wasting oscar winning actors on their own bloated egos insisting adults can't be trusted not to cause a PR scandal over their fanfic. Those assholes put themselves into the canon as "the first canon gay character". Oh, Mr. Unnamed Guy 32 is the first gay character out of all these hundreds of people on screen? Oh Mr. Russo well we all better get on our knees and kiss your gay dick in thanks then you ass faced worthless shit for brain. What a fucking insult. Who has the actual nerve? Who actually has an ego so big they don't actually see the lgbt community and their issues as something to take seriously within their narrative - its like their heads have been under a rock the past few years thinking of only their wonderful, unbeatable movie that they have no idea gay people are main characters now and have their own movies elsewhere in the world. We're not nameless, background characters you dicks. The fact that 10 years led up to this is like spitting in the face of your audience and telling them exactly how little you actually care about them except for their money. Every bit of Endgame highlighted and emphasized the flaws that was the monstrosity that was Infinity War. Starting there - I will never get over the fact that the end battle of Endgame so clearly shows how awful the previous movie was. I think I've told you all the problems I have with IW before but to emphasize again - the "we don't trade lives" concept is still something I'm furious over. The fact that grand old captain america wasn't willing to kill Vision for the UNIVERSE but was ok with a few hundred Wakandan's dying for Vision to maybe live? Bullshit. AND that final battle? WTF so we're supposed to believe that in the... five?... ten minutes? after being snapped back to life all those people got off their asses? I can't even. They expect us to believe that when you put all those geniuses, warriors, battle proven tacticions, strategists and spies in a room that they still make all those obvious mistakes when they know the UNIVERSE is at stake? Where was that army of sorcerers in battle one? Why did Wong or whatever his name is really HAVE to protect that one sanctum even knowing the fate of the UNIVERSE was at stake? They had hours to plan. HOURS. If not days?!?!?!?!?! They went to different countries, they had time to sit and plan. They had time to call in the world's resources to prepare, to gather armies. Instead they fought with Wakanda and a handful of superheroes - why??? They literally knew the stakes, the only reason they didn't have the huge army battle scene in Infinity War is because Marvel wanted another movie. They wanted to make billions on Endgame cause they knew audiences would come back if they shock value killed half the universe and then brought them back for battle two but uhhhhhhh.... On your left was a great badass scene and all. But they had max like ten minutes to gather forces who legit just came back to life. Who sent out that distress call btw? Why did all these people NOW have a plan of attack and were gathered in preparation to fight?

Was it badass? Was the shot of Captain America alone against an entire army not iconic? OF COURSE. I loved that scene. I loved the women gathering around Peter and racing to fight against the army as one. It was legendary. There were some really funny, badass, and wonderful moments. But it was a bad story. It was bad writing. Working my way down from character murders that least upset me to most. Black Widow. She finally came to life in this movie. She was a leader, she had emotions, she was more than a catsuit, a sexy smile and a witty comment. I adored her. I despise her death. I hated that in the end she was still another pretty face lying sexily at the bottom of a pit for the life and will of a man. I’m half okay with her death, because it was almost justified. In this story where she was finally a fully-fledged and fleshed out person – she had wants and goals and those centered around protecting her family. The character she was in this movie didn’t even begin to exist until Endgame and it’s a tragedy that she was murdered before she even reached her full potential. But she did want to sacrifice herself so the universe could live again. She wanted Clint to go back to his family. She wanted to give her life for the only thing she loved. BUT Clint was the true perfect mirror for this narrative. Thanos sacrificing Gamora will never be okay. Gamora said it herself – that wasn’t love. That was glorifying abuse. Thanos never should have been given the soul stone under the ridiculous and unclear rules of the soul stone. Honestly, I’d believe Red Skull is just fucking with everybody at this point with how ridiculous those rules are. No way is what Thanos did love. I will come back to the Russos glorifying and being okay with child abusers when I get to Tony and his father. Clint would have been the mirror to Thanos in that moment. Instead of a father killing his daughter, it would have been a father dying for his daughter. His relationship to his daughter is even highlighted at the start of the movie and in his time travel moment. Clint hated who he’d become, he was ready and willing to sacrifice himself for his family and at that point he deserved it. As shown later with Tony – the theme of fathers sacrificing themselves is a relevant theme. So why Natasha in that moment. Why not the father? Why not the narrative mirror? Why the only woman on the team, the one who has grown to be a real person in the narrative and one who is now LITERALLY IMPORTANT TO THE STRUCTURE OF THE WHOLE WORLD AND THE UNIVERSE? She became the leader of the Avengers and expanded their reach across galaxies by communicating and coordinating with Rocket, Nebula, and Carol. She had a world to rebuild by coming home. It’s not like they’re going to give Clint his own redemption movie where he makes up for his half assed arc to becoming his Ronin character arc. I’m half okay with it, but I also think it was the completely wrong choice of which character to sacrifice.

THOR. The insult to Taika Waititi. The insult to Thor, Thor: the Dark World, and Thor: Ragnarok. The insult to Thor the character. Hell, the reversal on Thor -2.0 from Infinity War. Years of movies, years of work building this character. Them saying that not only does Thor, who finally learned to be the God of Thunder without his hammer, who took up Odin’s role and finally accepted his place as King, needed to be.... fixed?!?!?! They gave him back his eye for starters which reverses the whole meaning of him losing it in the first place. Of assuming the role of Odin, of King, of being Thor. Then they give him the axe and then the HAMMER. Thor moved on. Thor accepted himself. Thor in Ragnarok is proven to be stronger without the hammer than he was with it. Giving him the axe, making him obsessed with getting his hammer back, reverses three movie of character development. AND THEN. Making him FAT. Making him STUPID. Making him threaten children, abandon his people, abandon his duty, fall into a depression completely unlike his character who is a hardened warrior with deep emotional depth and understanding – a fucking soft hearted genius in his own right who was able to easily give forgiveness to Gamora and understanding that being the daughter of an abusive monster isn’t her fault. They have the audacity to spend a whole movie making fat jokes about him and decide to reverse him back ten year’s worth of character development. Oh hardy har, we’re such good writers. We understand posttraumatic stress and the mindset of heroes – look he’s drinking beer, and an alcoholic, and eat a salad you fat fucks. WTF. It wasn’t funny. It was mean. It was unnecessary. It was out of character like the Russos came up with it high on crack and refused to let it go. Thank god Chris H is a good enough actor not to show how insulting it must have been to have his character be paraded around in bad cgi and treated like he’s an idiot. Did the Russos not watch the other movies in the canon? Did they not care that Thor had become this deeply complex character who loved his people, would do anything for them, was ready to be King and lead – NO I guess they just don’t care. Like everyone who sat on their asses during the battle in Wakanda. It would have been amazing for Thor to have gone back in time to see his mother as the true and worthy King at last, if his final arc had been around idk his apprehension at how to lead his people after failing them, after them dying down to a few hundred. Having everything he could have been overshadowed by the Russos need for a running joke the entire movie is so very insulting. It shows just how little they think of the audience’s intelligence.

CAPTAIN AMERICA. The insult to women’s agency. I truly at this point think the Russos are lying fucks who have no respect for women. They’re sexists assholes. The insult to the entire team of Agent Carter. The insult to Peggy fucking Carter, the most badass woman who built herself up, who built Shield, who moved on, who had a life, a husband, children, who died in peace and was put to rest. Nope. Forget about everything she did. The Russos plot line is more important. Steve Rogers started out the movie saying how important it was to move on, and what does he do? Not move on. Lets highlight the insult that throwing in “the first gay character” is when facing the cowardice of switching Steve Rogers from being so obsessed with protecting Bucky Barnes that he threw away the shield, became a fugitive, and left the family and team he’d built in the future to chase after Peggy Carter who he HAD MOVED ON FROM. He kissed that one random blonde girl he had no chemistry with. He said goodbye and buried Peggy. Peggy had a life, she was happy. Did she miss Steve? Was she sad he “died”? Yeah. But now she doesn’t get a choice between the future she could have had and the one where Steve buts in and I guess Bruce didn’t have a discussion with Steve about splitting the path of time into multiple realities cause the Russos decided to fuck their own established logic and leave Steve in a new version of the past – where almost all the infinity stones are returned in their non-original forms, loki is fucking off with the tesseract and Thanos/his entire army/and Gamora are all in the wrong time never to forge the original war in the first place? They didn’t put a single scene between Steve and Bucky reconciling the past few years, Bucky’s dusting or the fact Steve was gonna go and never come back after ALL THAT. After Winter Soldier and Civil War, Steve said fuck Bucky, fuck the avengers, fuck this future that doesn’t have Iron Man, I want to go dance with a woman who HAD A LIFE WITHOUT YOU YOU ASSHOLE. I was touched by the old man Steve returning to give Sam the shield. I thought it was wonderful, I cried a little. But what about Peggy? What about the timeline? What about the rules????? Fuck it, there’s a gay character now and Thor is fat, the rules don’t matter anymore I guess.

Tony Stark.... deserved better. He is the true, real hero. The only hero. I don’t care about anyone else. Excluding his own 3 movies and Homecoming, Tony’s character was done so wrong in the Avengers movies by the writers, the audience and the other characters. So many people wrote him off as the person he pretended to be instead of the person he was. They saw selfishness and ego instead of the amount of sacrifice, the effort he gave into making the world a better place. He was such a good person. He grew so much. He gave his life for a world that never loved him, but that he never stopped loving. Natasha and Tony were the only people with something left to lose, but they were the ones who sacrificed themselves for a cold, uncaring universe and they deserved better. Tony finally had everything he never thought he would deserve – a wife, a daughter, a peaceful life at rest. All his wars were finished. He had everything to lose and he went into the endgame with the one condition that he would not give up what he had gained. And still they killed him. It was the only acceptable death for a hero like Tony Stark, but that doesn’t mean he deserved it. That doesn’t mean his daughter grows up without her father. That doesn’t mean its okay for that abusive, negligent asshole that was Howard Stark to get a last hoorah and be “redeemed” by a final conversation with his son. No. Tony had multiple arc, multiple points in his life where he had to rise above Howard and all that Howard stood for, all the ways Howard had hurt him and held him back. He was better than his father – going to be a better father than his father. Thanos and Howard will never, ever be men who should be looked upon as having loved their children enough for them to die in exchange for the greater good. It was so very satisfying for Tony to finally have it out at Steve for everything and I wish that scene had been longer. Tony deserved to live.

Final points. The timeline stuff, again, was bs. They insisted on not messing it up and still they messed up everything. The greater implications of all that is... astoundingly idiotic. Along with, why not just have Tony’s life ending snap send Thanos right back to the past along with the infinity stones to their rightful places and memories erased? If the infinity stones can do anything, such as kill half the universe, why not correct the flaws of the plot? I thought it was stupid that the only reason the time heist failed was because Nebula didn’t think about mind melding with her past self. The fact that’s even a thing... that happened. Really. The whole movie shouldn’t have existed let alone be three hours. They set such a great tone with the opening scene. It was tragic and heart wrenching and then seeing Natasha finally realized and the world broken. I can forgive dues-rat-machina bring Scott back cause I love Scott, but the time heist threw out all the tension. I didn’t feel the stakes, I felt like they stepped sideways into a whole different genre. That middle plot didn’t feel like a movie worth ending an era on. It felt cheesy and underdeveloped. Again – they had forever to plan. There was no time limit pushing them to go to the past immediately. They could have taken the time to think this out, cover every possible option – and they did. They’re shown doing that. So how, for the second time in these two movies, do these brilliant geniuses, tacticians and strategists believably fail to predict the outcome. And uhhhhhh did snapping all those people back account for the post snap casualties? Cause we saw helicopters flying into buildings, cars crashing, we were told that wars broke out and people went kinda crazy as they had a right to. The snap resulted in post snap causalities by the billions across the universe – had to have. So did all those people come back? What happens to the people who moved on and now have a 5 years younger mother/father/sister/brother/friend/loved one/wife/husband/etc to deal with who just blinked and suddenly half the people they care about are now five years older and the whole world is different? The sheer amount of housing and food crises that are about to begin post “snap 2: the snappening” are insane. And I get that its no fun to think about that in the fun of a big super hero battle and all that. But next movie will probably have zero mention of all that as shown by Peter’s entire class just moseying along on a European vacation in the next Spiderman. So Peter’s entire class got snapped, came back, and went on with their lives? The rest of the world’s infrastructure repaired itself in the time frame of Peter still being in High School? Yeah, right. But still – the fact that there’s an hour and a half of the movie that pauses all the tension and drama to be a comedy is just... whatever fine. It was funny. It was kinda cool, but it didn’t belong and it wasn’t necessary. Ok, I think I’m done.

[livingcorner]

Aaron Song@|hell\’s kitchen season 3 what was wrong with aaron@|https://ift.tt/3hmbZGF

“ I’m Aaron. Oh, you already know my name because it’s on my shirt! ”

Aaron Song (November 19, 1959 – November 30, 2010) was a contestant on Season 3 of Hell’s Kitchen. He ranked in 10th place. On November 30, 2010, he passed away as a result of diabetes complications.

[external_link_head]

Aaron was a kind and passionate chef. Unfortunately, that didn’t do any favors for him. He was a consistently poor performer in the kitchen, slow during service and prep, and was constantly ill. He fainted during punishment and was not able to continue the competition.

Season 3

Episode 1

The twelve new aspiring chefs were heading down to Hell’s Kitchen in SUVs, while getting to know each other on the ride. Once they arrived at Hell’s Kitchen, Jean-Philippe introduced himself, but before he could go into how he and Ramsay met, the latter appeared and told the former to cut the crap. Afterwards, Ramsay ordered the contestants to cook their signature dishes.

During the Signature Dish Challenge, Aaron was final person to have his signature dish judged by Ramsay, and surprised the latter with his cowboy appearance. Ramsay if he brought his horse, and he claimed it was parked outside, with Ramsay saying he has never seen an Asian cowboy before. He made a finger food platter, but while Ramsay liked it, he said there were too many things on the plate.

Before dinner service, Aaron struggled to make the ice cream in the blue kitchen and was starting to feel stressed, but Rock came to help him. During the briefing, Ramsay asked him how he was feeling, but he broke down crying. While Ramsay tried to calm him down, Jean-Philippe stalled the waiting diners outside the restaurant. Eventually, he calmed down as he knew he could do it.

During dinner service, Aaron was on the meat station with Josh. He sent up his first order of chicken, but it was black on the bottom. As he tried to redo the chicken, he felt useless as he could not do anything correct all day while Ramsay ordered him to wipe off his snot. Later, he started to get dizzy and left for a while, but an unsympathetic Brad wanted him to get better at cooking and felt that he gave up when he walked outside. Ramsay checked on him at the back, but he refused to quit as the former tried to calm him down. Josh took over the meat station but found out that all of the meat he cooked was ruined, leaving the men with no meat to continue service. A dismayed Sous Chef Scott asked how they could be out of meat if they have not served any.

During the post-mortem, Ramsay asked Aaron how he was feeling, and he claimed he was feeling a lot better. The blue team won the service, but while being dismissed, he felt he dodged a bullet, hoping for the best if his body held up.[1]

Episode 2

Back at the dorms, the men expressed concern for Aaron’s health problems in service, but he reassured them that he was alright. However, his comment on under eating caused more concern, and he secretly knew he was the weakest link on the men, knowing he must suck it up for the team.

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Before the Dover Sole Challenge, Aaron started to cramp when he was carrying his bucket along with Eddie, much to the latter’s concern. He sat out because he felt dizzy, but at the same time, it evened the teams at five members each. The blue team lost the challenge 8-9, and they were punished by prepping all the Dover soles and both kitchens for the next service. During the punishment, Bonnie told him to get better and take care of himself as he slept for four hours until he came back. However, he was still dizzy and aching from his cramps. He contemplated quitting the competition due to his poor health, but Brad called bullshit as it would leave the men down a member. So, he was convinced to stay, with Rock knowing that the most important mission was supporting him through the next dinner service. Afterwards, the men had a group hug.

Later that night, Aaron confided to Julia about his standing with the younger men as they knew more than him, but she told him not to worry about the men’s experience. Before dinner service, Brad named him the one to serve and clean Dover Soles tableside. One hour before service began, he went out to the dining room to meet with Ramsay and Jean-Philippe. Even though Ramsay tried to give Aaron a pep talk, he continued to black in and out during the talk, eventually sitting down due to stress. Fortunately, he bounced back, and Ramsay told him to come out of his shell, even though he was still cloudy.

During dinner service, Ramsay spotted Aaron talking with the diners instead of being at his station and told Jean-Philippe to get him out of there. After receiving Vinnie’s Dover Sole, he prepared to serve it tableside but was very slow at deboning the fish, taking fifteen minutes for one fish and leaving it cold for the customers. Later, his deboning was not going well as many customers found tiny bones in the Dover Sole. When Jean-Philippe told Ramsay that, the latter called him over and told him to concentrate when he claimed that he could not see the bones due to the poor lighting. After several mistakes, Ramsay kicked the blue team out of service, accusing him of failing to filet a fish. The blue team lost the service, Ramsay reminded he how he shook hands with everyone in the dining room like the President of the United States, and he apologized for failing that night. Rock was named the “Best of the Worst”.

Aaron was not nominated for elimination, even though he was really surprised by that decision.[2]

Episode 3

At 5:58 AM the following day, a group of navy officers and army soldiers woke the teams up and ordered them to get dressed. Aaron was cramping again and needed Rock and Brad helped him get dressed as they refused to leave a man behind. During the Army and Navy Service Challenge, he started off at the omelet station. Despite having the confidence to cook breakfast food, his omelet pan caught fire and threw two burnt orders in the trash. His poor performance on omelets was slowing momentum, causing Brad to name him the blue team’s weakest link. Josh and Brad took over his station, but he was seen going silent and accidentally dropped a pan of bacon, further putting the men behind.

The blue team lost the challenge, and they were punished by doing KP duty, which included prepping a thousand pounds of potatoes and onions. During the punishment, he collapsed due to the stress of moving the bags into the kitchen, much to his team’s concern. They called the medic over, and Josh was scared for him as he was sent to the hospital in an ambulance. The following day, at the hospital, he received a phone call from Ramsay, and learned that he could not return to Hell’s Kitchen because of his health, much to his disappointment. Ramsay gave no comment on Aaron’s departure, and he received the coat hanging and burning picture sequence immediately after the phone call.[3]

Nomination History

Week 1 Win Week 2 Safe Week 3 Hospitalized

Season 4

Episode 3

During the red team’s reward, Aaron made a cameo, where he was a customer at the Saddle Ranch Chop House. When the team and Ramsay entered the restaurant, he was riding the rodeo, and greeted Ramsay and the red team, giving all of them big hugs. Ramsay mimicked his crying before the opening night on the previous season, but he declared there was nothing to cry about now. After, he wished a good day to everybody and left, and Vanessa compared him to a big teddy bear.[4]

Season 6

Episode 1

Aaron made another cameo appearance during the opening of that season, and gave a rule to the contestants about what not to do. He said that he was so excited for his first dinner service, and then, a clip of him crying when both teams were lined up minutes before service was shown. Finally, he revealed the final rule “There’s no crying in Hell’s Kitchen”.[5]

Post Hell’s Kitchen

After his appearance on the show, Aaron became a celebrity chef. He also gave cooking demonstrations and worked with the Salvation Army to teach veterans how to cook. He was also a spokesperson for Henry’s Farmers Markets, before passing away in November 2010.

Trivia

He is the second contestant who withdrew from the competition for health reasons, following Larry (Season 2).

He was the second Asian-American contestant to compete on the show, following Wendy (Season 1), and the first male Asian-American contestant to compete on the show.

He is the first contestant to be medically removed who received the coat hanging and burning picture sequence on the episode that he left.

He was the first ever contestant to reappear in the show after departing that was not a winner. However, he is not the first to reenter the competition as that title would go to Robert (Seasons 5 and 6) three years later.

He is the only contestant in the season who was never nominated for elimination.

By nearly two decades, he was the oldest contestant of that season, at 48 (would be 62 today, passed away at 51), and would’ve been the oldest Hell’s Kitchen contestant ever when adjusted for time.

He and Bonnie (also from Season 3) are the first two contestants from the state of California.

He is the second former contestant to pass away, following Rachel (Season 2). He is the oldest contestant who passed away when adjusting for time (born 1959).

Quotes

“I left it parked outside, chef.”

(Out of breath) “Hehe, I knew I shouldn’t have worn this outfit!”

(To Chef Ramsay) “I’m cracking up right now……”

(While crying) “I can’t believe I’m cracking up right now!”

(Greeting the customers) “Hi, welcome to Hell’s Kitchen. I’m Aaron. Oh, you already know my name because it’s on my shirt!”

(After withdrawing) “I feel disappointed. I mean I’ve worked almost 40 years in the kitchen, for what? Guess I’m coming home.”

Gallery

Aaron’s Intro Spot

Aaron in Blue Jacket

Aaron’s Confessional

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Aaron after collapsing

Aaron medically evacuated

Aaron’s Signature Dish

Aaron in Season 4

Aaron in Season 6

References

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source https://livingcorner.com.au/aaron-songhells-kitchen-season-3-what-was-wrong-with-aaronhttps-static-wikia-nocookie-net-hellskitchen-images-c-c7-aaron_song-jpg-revision-latestcb2017120819075125/

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Aston Villa v Fulham: Championship play-off final 2018

Aston Villa v Fulham: Championship play-off final 2018

Aston Villa v Fulham: Championship play-off final 2018

John Terry joined Aston Villa last summer after spending 22 years at Chelsea, while 18-year-old Ryan Sessegnon is Fulham’s top scorer this season with 16 goals

Follow live text coverage on Saturday from 13:00 BST

Aston Villa and Fulham bid to return to the Premier League in a play-off final worth an estimated £280m if the winners survive one season in the top flight.

Villa manager Steve Bruce is aiming to secure a record fifth promotion from the Championship, following previous successes with Birmingham and Hull.

His experienced side ended the regular campaign in fourth as they look to bounce back from relegation in 2016.

Fulham finished third, missing out on automatic promotion by two points.

The Whites, who were beaten play-off semi-finalists last season, have spent four seasons in the Championship since their 13-year stay in the Premier League ended in 2014.

The winner of Saturday’s final at Wembley will receive at least £160m in revenue, but that figure – calculated by Deloitte and spread over three years – could rise to £280m if they then avoid immediate relegation back to the second tier.

Aston Villa defender Ahmed Elmohamady is recovering from a hamstring injury and could replace James Bree at right-back if the Egyptian is fully fit.

Fulham have no injury worries, but boss Slavisa Jokanovic must decide which of his six loanees to omit from the matchday squad.

Lucas Piazon or fellow forward Sheyi Ojo are the most likely to miss out, with the latter sidelined recently through injury.

Villa back from the doldrums

Bruce was appointed Villa boss in October 2016, taking over after Roberto di Matteo had overseen a difficult start to life in the Championship.

Villa, relegated after 28 years in the top flight, were 19th when the former Manchester United defender was appointed and they went on to finish last season 13th.

Their side is full of experience, epitomised by the signing of 37-year-old former Chelsea and England skipper John Terry last summer.

“Expectation is huge here but that’s why I went for experience,” Bruce told BBC WM.

“I’ve thoroughly enjoyed the challenge of my 19 months here. Can we now top it off by getting where we want to be?”

Bruce led Hull to victory in the Championship play-off final in 2016, adding to his previous success with Birmingham in 2002

Villa’s last Wembley appearance was 2015, when they lost 4-0 to Arsenal in the FA Cup final, but several players – among them keeper Sam Johnstone, Elmohamady and midfielder Robert Snodgrass – have previously tasted success in play-off finals.

“We have to have a healthy respect for Fulham but not be fearful of them,” Bruce, 57, added.

“We have an attacking threat that can cause any team problems.

“We’ve beaten everybody this season but it’s a case of when that big chance comes, can you take it?”

Villa fans looking for omens will also note that Saturday is 36 years to the day that Villa won the European Cup, beating Bayern Munich 1-0 in Rotterdam thanks to Peter Withe’s second-half goal.

Resurgent Fulham target final flourish

Jokanovic, who led Watford to second place in the Championship in 2014-15, has guided Fulham to successive top-six finishes in his two full seasons in charge.

The Whites narrowly missed out on automatic promotion, having risen from 12th to third in the table courtesy of a 23-match unbeaten run which ended with defeat on the final day at Birmingham.

Jokanovic, who took charge at Craven Cottage in December 2015, is not worried about his team’s relative inexperience as the west London club prepare for their first trip to Wembley since 1975, when they lost the FA Cup final 2-0 to West Ham.

“We’re the youngest team,” the 49-year-old Serb told BBC Radio London. “We must try to dominate the situation and put them under stress.

“We’re probably the team with more energy. Experience in life is important but it’s not everything – all of us can make mistakes.”

Aleksandar Mitrovic has scored 12 goals since joining Fulham on loan from Newcastle in January

Fulham’s passing game and style of play has won plaudits, with teenager Ryan Sessegnon picking up several awards after scoring 16 goals this season from the left wing.

But the arrivals of loanees Matt Targett and Aleksandar Mitrovic in January have bolstered the starting XI, with left-back Targett offering balance to the side and Mitrovic providing a physical presence and goal threat which had previously been lacking up front.

“It’s a massive challenge ahead of us and we believe in our style,” Jokanovic added.

“At the end of two and a half years we have an important chance in front of us, and we will find our best performance.”

Championship play-off final is the biggest game of my career – Ream

Match facts

Fulham are featuring in their first ever play-off final, having previously lost in the semi-finals in 1988-89 (third-tier), 1997-98 (third-tier) and 2016-17 (second-tier), while Aston Villa have reached the final in their first ever play-off campaign.

Steve Bruce is set to manage in his third play-off final – he has been promoted in both of his previous two, progressing on penalties in 2001-02 as Birmingham manager against Norwich and beating Sheffield Wednesday with Hull in 2015-16.

Indeed, he’s the third manager to manage in three play-off finals in the second tier, after Brian Little (three finals between 1991-92 and 1993-94) and Ian Holloway (2009-10, 2011-12 and 2012-13).

Bruce has won four promotions to the top flight (2001-02, 2006-07, 2012-13 and 2015-16), a joint-record with Neil Warnock, who achieved his fourth this season with Cardiff.

These sides both claimed a win apiece in their Championship meetings this season, with Villa winning 2-1 at Villa Park in October and Fulham winning 2-0 at Craven Cottage in February.

The Cottagers are playing just their second match at Wembley – they lost their previous visit in the 1975 FA Cup final against West Ham.

Fulham’s gap of 15,279 days between playing their first and second matches at Wembley is the third longest in history, after Brentford (19,915 – November 1930 to June 1985) and Southend United (30,073 – December 1930 to April 2013).

In Fulham’s semi-final second leg against Derby, Ryan Sessegnon became the youngest scorer in the history of the second-tier play-offs (17y 360d). The youngest player to score in a second-tier play-off final is Julian Joachim (18y 253d), who scored for Leicester City against Swindon Town in May 1993.

Only Matej Vydra (21) has scored more Championship goals than Lewis Grabban (20) this season – however, Grabban has played six Championship play-off games previously and failed to score in any, featuring in the 2015 final for Norwich and last season’s final for Reading.

Robert Snodgrass and Ahmed Elmohamady featured in the 2016 Championship play-off final for Steve Bruce’s victorious Hull side – Snodgrass assisted Mohamed Diame’s winning goal.

The team scoring first in the Championship play-off final has gone on to win promotion on each of the past six occasions in which the final has not been goalless – the last time a team failed to win having scored first was Cardiff City in 2010 against Blackpool.

Aston Villa have not faced a shot on target in any of their past three halves of football, since a 40th-minute Daniel Ayala header in the first leg of their play-off semi-final (140 minutes in total).

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