#I say a lot of bad words and unkind things kiddo
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Endgame Thoughts *Spoilers obviously and a whole lot of venting*
OK Endgame, here we go! The absolute disrespect to the audience, the actors, the characters, and all the other creators who put so much work and care into building characters and stories for the other movies and shows which led up Infinity War and Endgame. The Russos are so far up their own asses with how good they think they are. I'm so done with their pure spoiler free excuses. Not letting actors know what scenes they're in, who they're with - wasting oscar winning actors on their own bloated egos insisting adults can't be trusted not to cause a PR scandal over their fanfic. Those assholes put themselves into the canon as "the first canon gay character". Oh, Mr. Unnamed Guy 32 is the first gay character out of all these hundreds of people on screen? Oh Mr. Russo well we all better get on our knees and kiss your gay dick in thanks then you ass faced worthless shit for brain. What a fucking insult. Who has the actual nerve? Who actually has an ego so big they don't actually see the lgbt community and their issues as something to take seriously within their narrative - its like their heads have been under a rock the past few years thinking of only their wonderful, unbeatable movie that they have no idea gay people are main characters now and have their own movies elsewhere in the world. We're not nameless, background characters you dicks. The fact that 10 years led up to this is like spitting in the face of your audience and telling them exactly how little you actually care about them except for their money. Every bit of Endgame highlighted and emphasized the flaws that was the monstrosity that was Infinity War. Starting there - I will never get over the fact that the end battle of Endgame so clearly shows how awful the previous movie was. I think I've told you all the problems I have with IW before but to emphasize again - the "we don't trade lives" concept is still something I'm furious over. The fact that grand old captain america wasn't willing to kill Vision for the UNIVERSE but was ok with a few hundred Wakandan's dying for Vision to maybe live? Bullshit. AND that final battle? WTF so we're supposed to believe that in the... five?... ten minutes? after being snapped back to life all those people got off their asses? I can't even. They expect us to believe that when you put all those geniuses, warriors, battle proven tacticions, strategists and spies in a room that they still make all those obvious mistakes when they know the UNIVERSE is at stake? Where was that army of sorcerers in battle one? Why did Wong or whatever his name is really HAVE to protect that one sanctum even knowing the fate of the UNIVERSE was at stake? They had hours to plan. HOURS. If not days?!?!?!?!?! They went to different countries, they had time to sit and plan. They had time to call in the world's resources to prepare, to gather armies. Instead they fought with Wakanda and a handful of superheroes - why??? They literally knew the stakes, the only reason they didn't have the huge army battle scene in Infinity War is because Marvel wanted another movie. They wanted to make billions on Endgame cause they knew audiences would come back if they shock value killed half the universe and then brought them back for battle two but uhhhhhhh.... On your left was a great badass scene and all. But they had max like ten minutes to gather forces who legit just came back to life. Who sent out that distress call btw? Why did all these people NOW have a plan of attack and were gathered in preparation to fight?
Was it badass? Was the shot of Captain America alone against an entire army not iconic? OF COURSE. I loved that scene. I loved the women gathering around Peter and racing to fight against the army as one. It was legendary. There were some really funny, badass, and wonderful moments. But it was a bad story. It was bad writing. Working my way down from character murders that least upset me to most. Black Widow. She finally came to life in this movie. She was a leader, she had emotions, she was more than a catsuit, a sexy smile and a witty comment. I adored her. I despise her death. I hated that in the end she was still another pretty face lying sexily at the bottom of a pit for the life and will of a man. I’m half okay with her death, because it was almost justified. In this story where she was finally a fully-fledged and fleshed out person – she had wants and goals and those centered around protecting her family. The character she was in this movie didn’t even begin to exist until Endgame and it’s a tragedy that she was murdered before she even reached her full potential. But she did want to sacrifice herself so the universe could live again. She wanted Clint to go back to his family. She wanted to give her life for the only thing she loved. BUT Clint was the true perfect mirror for this narrative. Thanos sacrificing Gamora will never be okay. Gamora said it herself – that wasn’t love. That was glorifying abuse. Thanos never should have been given the soul stone under the ridiculous and unclear rules of the soul stone. Honestly, I’d believe Red Skull is just fucking with everybody at this point with how ridiculous those rules are. No way is what Thanos did love. I will come back to the Russos glorifying and being okay with child abusers when I get to Tony and his father. Clint would have been the mirror to Thanos in that moment. Instead of a father killing his daughter, it would have been a father dying for his daughter. His relationship to his daughter is even highlighted at the start of the movie and in his time travel moment. Clint hated who he’d become, he was ready and willing to sacrifice himself for his family and at that point he deserved it. As shown later with Tony – the theme of fathers sacrificing themselves is a relevant theme. So why Natasha in that moment. Why not the father? Why not the narrative mirror? Why the only woman on the team, the one who has grown to be a real person in the narrative and one who is now LITERALLY IMPORTANT TO THE STRUCTURE OF THE WHOLE WORLD AND THE UNIVERSE? She became the leader of the Avengers and expanded their reach across galaxies by communicating and coordinating with Rocket, Nebula, and Carol. She had a world to rebuild by coming home. It’s not like they’re going to give Clint his own redemption movie where he makes up for his half assed arc to becoming his Ronin character arc. I’m half okay with it, but I also think it was the completely wrong choice of which character to sacrifice.
THOR. The insult to Taika Waititi. The insult to Thor, Thor: the Dark World, and Thor: Ragnarok. The insult to Thor the character. Hell, the reversal on Thor -2.0 from Infinity War. Years of movies, years of work building this character. Them saying that not only does Thor, who finally learned to be the God of Thunder without his hammer, who took up Odin’s role and finally accepted his place as King, needed to be.... fixed?!?!?! They gave him back his eye for starters which reverses the whole meaning of him losing it in the first place. Of assuming the role of Odin, of King, of being Thor. Then they give him the axe and then the HAMMER. Thor moved on. Thor accepted himself. Thor in Ragnarok is proven to be stronger without the hammer than he was with it. Giving him the axe, making him obsessed with getting his hammer back, reverses three movie of character development. AND THEN. Making him FAT. Making him STUPID. Making him threaten children, abandon his people, abandon his duty, fall into a depression completely unlike his character who is a hardened warrior with deep emotional depth and understanding – a fucking soft hearted genius in his own right who was able to easily give forgiveness to Gamora and understanding that being the daughter of an abusive monster isn’t her fault. They have the audacity to spend a whole movie making fat jokes about him and decide to reverse him back ten year’s worth of character development. Oh hardy har, we’re such good writers. We understand posttraumatic stress and the mindset of heroes – look he’s drinking beer, and an alcoholic, and eat a salad you fat fucks. WTF. It wasn’t funny. It was mean. It was unnecessary. It was out of character like the Russos came up with it high on crack and refused to let it go. Thank god Chris H is a good enough actor not to show how insulting it must have been to have his character be paraded around in bad cgi and treated like he’s an idiot. Did the Russos not watch the other movies in the canon? Did they not care that Thor had become this deeply complex character who loved his people, would do anything for them, was ready to be King and lead – NO I guess they just don’t care. Like everyone who sat on their asses during the battle in Wakanda. It would have been amazing for Thor to have gone back in time to see his mother as the true and worthy King at last, if his final arc had been around idk his apprehension at how to lead his people after failing them, after them dying down to a few hundred. Having everything he could have been overshadowed by the Russos need for a running joke the entire movie is so very insulting. It shows just how little they think of the audience’s intelligence.
CAPTAIN AMERICA. The insult to women’s agency. I truly at this point think the Russos are lying fucks who have no respect for women. They’re sexists assholes. The insult to the entire team of Agent Carter. The insult to Peggy fucking Carter, the most badass woman who built herself up, who built Shield, who moved on, who had a life, a husband, children, who died in peace and was put to rest. Nope. Forget about everything she did. The Russos plot line is more important. Steve Rogers started out the movie saying how important it was to move on, and what does he do? Not move on. Lets highlight the insult that throwing in “the first gay character” is when facing the cowardice of switching Steve Rogers from being so obsessed with protecting Bucky Barnes that he threw away the shield, became a fugitive, and left the family and team he’d built in the future to chase after Peggy Carter who he HAD MOVED ON FROM. He kissed that one random blonde girl he had no chemistry with. He said goodbye and buried Peggy. Peggy had a life, she was happy. Did she miss Steve? Was she sad he “died”? Yeah. But now she doesn’t get a choice between the future she could have had and the one where Steve buts in and I guess Bruce didn’t have a discussion with Steve about splitting the path of time into multiple realities cause the Russos decided to fuck their own established logic and leave Steve in a new version of the past – where almost all the infinity stones are returned in their non-original forms, loki is fucking off with the tesseract and Thanos/his entire army/and Gamora are all in the wrong time never to forge the original war in the first place? They didn’t put a single scene between Steve and Bucky reconciling the past few years, Bucky’s dusting or the fact Steve was gonna go and never come back after ALL THAT. After Winter Soldier and Civil War, Steve said fuck Bucky, fuck the avengers, fuck this future that doesn’t have Iron Man, I want to go dance with a woman who HAD A LIFE WITHOUT YOU YOU ASSHOLE. I was touched by the old man Steve returning to give Sam the shield. I thought it was wonderful, I cried a little. But what about Peggy? What about the timeline? What about the rules????? Fuck it, there’s a gay character now and Thor is fat, the rules don’t matter anymore I guess.
Tony Stark.... deserved better. He is the true, real hero. The only hero. I don’t care about anyone else. Excluding his own 3 movies and Homecoming, Tony’s character was done so wrong in the Avengers movies by the writers, the audience and the other characters. So many people wrote him off as the person he pretended to be instead of the person he was. They saw selfishness and ego instead of the amount of sacrifice, the effort he gave into making the world a better place. He was such a good person. He grew so much. He gave his life for a world that never loved him, but that he never stopped loving. Natasha and Tony were the only people with something left to lose, but they were the ones who sacrificed themselves for a cold, uncaring universe and they deserved better. Tony finally had everything he never thought he would deserve – a wife, a daughter, a peaceful life at rest. All his wars were finished. He had everything to lose and he went into the endgame with the one condition that he would not give up what he had gained. And still they killed him. It was the only acceptable death for a hero like Tony Stark, but that doesn’t mean he deserved it. That doesn’t mean his daughter grows up without her father. That doesn’t mean its okay for that abusive, negligent asshole that was Howard Stark to get a last hoorah and be “redeemed” by a final conversation with his son. No. Tony had multiple arc, multiple points in his life where he had to rise above Howard and all that Howard stood for, all the ways Howard had hurt him and held him back. He was better than his father – going to be a better father than his father. Thanos and Howard will never, ever be men who should be looked upon as having loved their children enough for them to die in exchange for the greater good. It was so very satisfying for Tony to finally have it out at Steve for everything and I wish that scene had been longer. Tony deserved to live.
Final points. The timeline stuff, again, was bs. They insisted on not messing it up and still they messed up everything. The greater implications of all that is... astoundingly idiotic. Along with, why not just have Tony’s life ending snap send Thanos right back to the past along with the infinity stones to their rightful places and memories erased? If the infinity stones can do anything, such as kill half the universe, why not correct the flaws of the plot? I thought it was stupid that the only reason the time heist failed was because Nebula didn’t think about mind melding with her past self. The fact that’s even a thing... that happened. Really. The whole movie shouldn’t have existed let alone be three hours. They set such a great tone with the opening scene. It was tragic and heart wrenching and then seeing Natasha finally realized and the world broken. I can forgive dues-rat-machina bring Scott back cause I love Scott, but the time heist threw out all the tension. I didn’t feel the stakes, I felt like they stepped sideways into a whole different genre. That middle plot didn’t feel like a movie worth ending an era on. It felt cheesy and underdeveloped. Again – they had forever to plan. There was no time limit pushing them to go to the past immediately. They could have taken the time to think this out, cover every possible option – and they did. They’re shown doing that. So how, for the second time in these two movies, do these brilliant geniuses, tacticians and strategists believably fail to predict the outcome. And uhhhhhh did snapping all those people back account for the post snap casualties? Cause we saw helicopters flying into buildings, cars crashing, we were told that wars broke out and people went kinda crazy as they had a right to. The snap resulted in post snap causalities by the billions across the universe – had to have. So did all those people come back? What happens to the people who moved on and now have a 5 years younger mother/father/sister/brother/friend/loved one/wife/husband/etc to deal with who just blinked and suddenly half the people they care about are now five years older and the whole world is different? The sheer amount of housing and food crises that are about to begin post “snap 2: the snappening” are insane. And I get that its no fun to think about that in the fun of a big super hero battle and all that. But next movie will probably have zero mention of all that as shown by Peter’s entire class just moseying along on a European vacation in the next Spiderman. So Peter’s entire class got snapped, came back, and went on with their lives? The rest of the world’s infrastructure repaired itself in the time frame of Peter still being in High School? Yeah, right. But still – the fact that there’s an hour and a half of the movie that pauses all the tension and drama to be a comedy is just... whatever fine. It was funny. It was kinda cool, but it didn’t belong and it wasn’t necessary. Ok, I think I’m done.
#Avengers#Marvel#endgame spoilers#avengers endgame spoilers#avengers endgame#tony stark#natasha romanoff#thor#language warning#I say a lot of bad words and unkind things kiddo#you've been warned#Its been a few days and I'm still filled with rage#I did like a lot of parts of the movie#but I also hated a lot of the movie
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Baby You Were My Picket Fence [Chapter 1: Bad To The Bone]
You are a first grade teacher in sunny Los Angeles, California. Ben Hardy is the father of your most challenging student. Things quickly get complicated in this unconventional love story.
Song inspiration: Miss Missing You by Fall Out Boy.
Chapter warnings: Language.
Link to chapter list (and all my writing) HERE
Let me know if you’d like to be added to a taglist! :)
This kid is going to be the death of me.
“Eli Fitzgerald Hardy, DO NOT drop that frog!” The words launch from your throat like loosed arrows. Do you sound scary, commanding, authoritarian? You hope so.
His defiant glare glints wildly beneath dark russet curls. His lips twist into a maniacal grin, revealing small white teeth. His grip noticeably loosens around the wriggling green frog. Maisy, paralyzed by fear, is wide-eyed and whimpering softly in her chair. Eli is standing, looming over her. The room is unnervingly silent as the other students watch in horror.
“Eli, don’t!” you plead.
It’s too late. The frog tumbles from his opened hand. The panicked amphibian lands in Maisy’s frizzy red hair and instantly becomes tangled there. Maisy is screaming, you are screaming, everyone is screaming. Well...everyone but Eli. He points and cackles as you sprint to Maisy’s side and try to pull the frog out of her hair.
“Honey, don’t cry, it’s going to be okay!” you shout over the children’s shrieks as Maisy sobs, her face a frantic shade of pink, her freckled cheeks glistening with tears. At last you manage to free the frog, swiftly carry it to the open window, and let it leap from your palm into the bushes. You wipe your hands on your skirt, your brand new skirt, the skirt now marred with tears and amphibian slime and muddy frog footprints. And have I mentioned that you fucking hate frogs?
“It...was...on...my...HEAD!” Maisy heaves, waving her hands in disgust. The other children are trying to comfort her.
“Maisy, sweetheart, the frog is all gone now. Here, let me fix your hair for you...”
You get Maisy cleaned up and settle the class. Then you turn to your worst nightmare, your arch nemesis, the smug lurking face that keeps you up at night. He’s smiling in the shadowy corner of the room by the coat closet, prowling there like a wolf.
“Eli, come over here please.”
“Yes Miss Teacher.”
“I do have a name,” you say, but halfheartedly. No matter how many times you’ve introduced yourself since the school year started three weeks ago, the students always lapse back into calling you Miss Teacher. One of the many hazards of first grade.
Eli obediently approaches, but his smile never dies.
“Now, that was a very unkind thing you just did to poor Maisy. We don’t want to scare our friends. And we don’t want to bring outside animals into the classroom. They could have germs, or they could bite someone—”
“Frogs don’t have teeth,” Eli points out astutely.
You sigh. “Be that as it may, we cannot drop frogs on our friends. And I think Maisy would really appreciate an apology. Isn’t that one of our class rules, making sure we apologize if we hurt our friends’ feelings?”
You turn to the other students for support, and they nod enthusiastically.
“Can you do that for me and Maisy, Eli?”
“Okay,” he agrees. “Maisy, I’m sorry I dropped the frog on your head.”
“That’s alright,” she replies, wiping her drying eyes. Such a prodigiously sweet child. They hug, the conflict seemingly forgotten. But Eli shoots you a mischievous smirk; he may have Maisy fooled, but you’re a bit shrewder. He’s not really all that sorry, and he’s likely already planning his next act of terror.
After you escort the kids to art class, you sit behind your desk and flip through the emergency contact notecards until you find Eli’s. The first person listed is his father. This is unusual; mothers are almost always the primary contact, especially in this neighborhood. Trophy wives stay home with the babies, dads trot off to their law firms or production companies to rake in the six-figure salaries, those are the unwritten rules. But dad is first on Eli’s card: Benjamin Whitaker Hardy. Actually, there’s no mother listed at all. You drum your fingers thoughtfully on the desk.
You dial Mr. Hardy’s number with your iPhone. It rings, but no one answers. At the tone, you leave a message.
“Good afternoon, Mr. Hardy.” Benjamin Whitaker Hardy, what a pretentious fucking name, he’s a too-important-to-deal-with-his-own-kid corporate desk job guy for sure. “This is Miss Y/L/N, Eli’s teacher here at Dolphin Cove Elementary. I’ve been wanting to speak with you regarding some of Eli’s behavior in class, and I haven’t had much luck with the notes I’ve sent home.” Probably because Eli’s trashing them or burning them or casting voodoo spells with them or whatever demons-in-training do. “I’m hoping we can connect sometime soon and find a solution that works for everyone.” Perhaps an exorcism? “I look forward to hearing from you! Goodbye for now.”
You hang up, sip your Coke Zero, and check your watch. You have fifteen minutes of freedom remaining. You glance out the window to see if the frog is still in the bushes. Blessedly, there’s no sign of it.
After art is reading and writing, then it’s time for the kiddos to go home. You make sure no one forgets their folders or backpack as you corral your class into a semi-orderly line and follow them out to the pickup area. Buses and cars wait patiently as students trickle out of the building and scramble to the vehicle doors, shouting excitedly about the events of the day. “Mommy, I got a gold star in social studies!” “Nana, I had pizza for lunch!” “Mom, Maisy got a FROG dropped on her head!”
Winston—a shy, gentle boy with huge black-rimmed glasses and chubby arms full of library books—stumbles as he sprints for his bus. “Ow!” he moans, spilling his books across the sidewalk, clutching his left knee.
“Uh oh! Win, dear, let me help you.”
You rush to the boy’s side, lift him upright, and brush the dust off his pants. Oh fuck, if he goes home scraped and dirty I’m going to catch hell from the nanny. As you kneel next to Winston, there are footsteps behind you, and then a deep, unfamiliar voice.
“Hi, hello, sorry, Miss Y/L/N...?”
The mysterious voice is jarring: British, sophisticated, impossibly smooth. You are frozen for a moment, then you whirl and rise to your feet. He’s young, really young. Far too young to be a parent in a district where most people don’t start having kids until their late-thirties. He’s blond, green-eyed, fit. And he doesn’t look anything like an attorney or film producer. He looks like a goddamn J.Crew model. Wait, what did he say? Oh yeah, my name.
“Yes, I, uh...that’s me!”
He’s restless, shifting his weight from foot to foot, wearing an expertly-tailored black suit, impatient, arrogant even. “I think you left me a message earlier. I’m Eli’s dad.”
You blink at him. “You’re...his father? Not his tutor? Not the nanny?”
Benjamin Whitaker Hardy narrows his eyes at you. “No.”
“Oh.” This is not going quite the way you’d planned. “I’m sorry, I just...he doesn’t have an accent, and there’s not much of a resemblance, I didn’t make the connection. I hope I haven’t offended you.”
“Yeah, he takes after his mother.” Mr. Hardy peers irritably around the pickup area, his hands in the pockets of his suit jacket. He’s clearly inconvenienced by this conversation. “Sorry I couldn’t pick up my phone earlier, I was at a...” He waves his hand flippantly. “A work thing.”
You find your words in a rush: “Well I wanted to speak to you because your son is clearly extremely gifted and highly intelligent, but he caught a frog at recess and then dropped in on a classmate’s head and it was all pretty traumatizing for the girl, and he has an unfortunate habit of doing things like this, on Monday he tried to glue Winston to his chair, and last week he told Brayden that hamsters don’t go to heaven when they die and Brayden was inconsolable for hours, and then there was the time—”
“Okay, okay, I’ll talk to him.”
That’s all? Really?! “Mr. Hardy, I don’t mean to be overbearing, but this is quite a persistent problem and I’ve been hoping to speak with you at length about it and I really think it warrants a more detailed discussion—”
“Right,” he cuts you off in that posh British accent. “I actually have to run, but I’ll be in touch.”
I bet you will be. “Look, Mr. Hardy...” You lose your manners, just for a second. “I’m sure you’re a very busy man—there are lots of fantastically important people in this city—but you’re also a father. And I get the sense that your son is dealing with some very serious challenges at home that are causing him to act out here. I can’t fix that alone. I need your help.”
Mr. Hardy stares at you, stunned, simmering. Eli bolts out of the throng of students and collides into his father’s suit-clad legs, clasping them and giggling. “Hey, buddy!” Mr. Hardy gushes in a strikingly tender tone, ruffling Eli’s hair. Then, incredibly, his face softens as his jade eyes flick back up to you. “I get it. You have a job to do. And I bet you’re pretty great at it.”
He extends his hand, which is strong and perfect and meticulously manicured.
“Ben,” he offers.
“Y/N,” you reply, shell-shocked, as you grasp his hand.
“I really do have to rush off, though,” he says apologetically, already turning towards a black Lexus.
“Okay. Yeah. We’ll chat soon.”
“Cheers.”
You watch as Ben and Eli jog to the Lexus, disappear inside, and speed off, weaving hazardously through minivans and Land Rovers and buses. You tap your shoes—electric blue flats—against the sidewalk, pondering as laughing children breeze by.
“Awesome,” you whisper to yourself. “The dad is probably a demon too.”
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Hero for the Day
So to celebrate Father’s Day... how about a quick little drabble for my little dragon and bird duo! I just recently finished this one, and it’s one of my absolute favorites too. And it really just seems to fit the spirit of the holiday.
Rating: K
Word Count: 2,100
Ao3 Link: Hero for The Day
Summary: Huntress, the new family dog, has gone missing. Qrow doesn't particularly care - so why is everyone acting like it's all up to him to find her?
~
His first drink was just being placed down when his scroll rang. Qrow sipped the first glorious sip of the high-quality scotch as he eyed the ID. As he answered it, he was fully expecting to hear Tai’s bubbly voice.
When all he got was his blubbering niece instead, he went into high alert. “Ruby? What’s wrong?”
“Uncle Qrow, I can’t find Huntress!” She sniveled out.
Relief swept through him and he rolled his eyes. “Ah, I’m sure she’s around kiddo. She’s too fat to get far.”
They had only gotten the overweight, two-year-old corgi a few weeks ago and she was already trouble – which was exactly what he had warned Tai about. But his partner had insisted, saying it would be a good addition for their family. He even roped his own kids into the excitement, and Qrow was a little weak when it came to being triple-teamed with puppy-dog eyes. So they adopted the over-yeasted loaf of bread and within three days she’d already peed on the rug twice and chewed through his nicest pair of dress shoes.
He could certainly say that if she’d actually run off that he wouldn’t be the least bit upset.
But for an eight-year-old, it was the biggest crisis of her life. “I looked everywhere! She’s not in her bed. Or anywhere in the kitchen! What if she’s stuck somewhere?”
Maybe we need to look for holes in the flooring. Qrow had to take another drink so he wouldn’t laugh. “Well, she’ll come out of hiding if you pour her food.”
“I already tried that! She isn’t anywhere!” Ruby wailed. “Yang said she probably got out when daddy brought in the groceries! You have to come home and help me find her before a Grimm eats her!”
Oh no. No way. He didn’t put up with a week’s worth of teaching classes with the brattiest students in all of Patch to NOT enjoy his Friday drinking night. “A Grimm’s not going to eat her Ruby. She’ll come around when she’s ready.”
“You don’t understand, this is a matter of life and death!! You’re a huntsman, you gotta save her!”
He fought the urge to sigh but was spared from having to come up with anything to say when he heard Tai shout in the background, “Ruby, you know you’re not supposed to take my scroll without asking!”
“Tell Uncle Qrow he has to come home soon, okay?!” Her demand grew faint as the device was taken from her.
He must have been covering the speaker, because his voice became muffled. “I will. Now go get into your coat and then we can go looking okay? Yang, help her out will you!” His voice came through a lot clearer as he pulled the phone to his ear. “Sorry Qrow. She’s really devastated.”
“You don’t say.” He said, swirling his glass so the ice would clink together.
“I can see you’re torn up about it too.” He quipped sarcastically.
“Utterly brokenhearted.” Qrow assured.
“In that case, I’m sure you’re just rushing on over here then, aren’t you?” Before he could even open his mouth to argue, Tai was adding, “You know it would mean the world to Ruby if you were here.”
Damn him. He sunk a bit in his chair, grumbling, “That was low man.”
Tai’s only response was a jovial, “See you soon! Love you!” And then the call was ended.
Qrow sighed, quickly downing the rest of his drink and leaving the money on the table. As he headed out of the bar, he was tempted to call up Oz and blame him for not warning him he’d have to worry about puppy patrol duty. Not that his old Headmaster would do anything more than laugh at his misfortune.
He hurried down the alley, taking to the sky, intent on finding the little menace as soon as possible so he could get back to his night.
~
Qrow couldn’t help but wince as the slam of the girls’ bedroom door echoed down from the second floor.
Nothing. Three hours of searching, and there was nothing. He’d even used the skills he’d been taught for hunting deer to try and figure out which way the dog had run, but there were no imprints in any of the soft soil of the forest or the sandy spots around the house. It was as if she’d just disappeared into thin air.
That only left one actual possibility, the one he’d reassured Ruby couldn’t have possibly of happened: that a Grimm, likely a Nevermore, had swooped down and snatched the dog up when she got into the yard. He would say that should have been impossible with such a short timeframe to work with and there having been a Huntsman not even twenty feet away; but with his semblance around, such improbable things suddenly became a lot more likely.
A sniffle drew his attention to the living room where Yang and Tai were.
Tai knelt so he could hug her. “You okay, sweetie?”
“Yeah. Just sad.” Her words where muffled against his chest.
“I know.” He rubbed her back. “But, hey! Let’s not lose hope yet. It is really dark. How about first thing tomorrow morning, we go looking again? We’ll be sure to find her when it’s light out.”
“No.”
“No?” Tai echoed, looking down at her in confusion.
She pulled away from him, rubbing her fists into her eyes. “Things don’t come back when they go away.”
Qrow sucked in a sharp breath, and when his partner looked up at him, expression practically pleading for help, he finally spoke up, “Yang, that’s not true.”
She looked towards him. “Then where’s Huntress?”
“I- well. We’ll find her.” Now it was his turn to plead for help.
“Yeah, we will!” His partner jumped in as he placed a hand on her head. “Who knows, she may even be home in time for breakfast.”
Yang didn’t seem very convinced. “Okay. I’ma go check on Ruby.”
“Alright honey.” Tai stood, watching her scurry up the stairs. Once she was well out of earshot, he ruffled his hair agitatedly. “Fuck.”
He stuffed his hands in his pockets, snipping as he headed for the kitchen, “I told you this was a bad idea.”
“Qrow - come on now.”
He heard the other’s footsteps as he followed him but didn’t bother to slow down. He snatched a beer from the fridge and stepped out onto the porch. The moon above was bright, illuminating the yard and the faint chirping of crickets echoed from the surrounding forest. He lent up against the railing, twisting off the cap of the bottle and chugging half of it. Tai shut the door behind them, coming to stand beside him. He expected him to say something – reassure him with that boundless optimism he always tried to carry – but he stayed oddly silent. Somehow, that was even more annoying.
Qrow slammed the bottle down, grunting, “Why’d you even have me come back, huh? What good did that do?”
Tai folded his arms over the railing, glancing sideways at him. “You know, you are so stupid sometimes.”
“Uh, what?”
His ire didn’t even seem to make Tai twitch. “Why do you think the first person Ruby thought to call when she was having a problem was you?”
“Uh, I don’t know?” He shrugged. “‘Cause more of us looking means more chances to find her?”
He snorted. “That’s some impressive logic for an eight-year-old. But no.” He turned to face him, leaning his hip against the rail. “It’s because you’re her hero Qrow.”
Qrow felt like someone had just jabbed a crystal of lightning dust right into his back. “I am?”
“Yeah. To her, there’s nothing you can’t do.” He laughed, looking up at the sky. “I even heard her tell Yang once that she knew you could put back together the moon if you weren’t so busy saving everyone else.”
He followed his gaze, smiling faintly. Her hero, huh? He remembered having one of those when he was her age. How he’d ask every adult in the tribe for just one more story about the Grimm Reaper or how his mother had used the last of their spare fabric one winter to sew him a cape. He knew it wasn’t quite the same as the cloak she was said to wear, but it had been big enough to pretend with when he was smaller.
His smile weakened, then fell.
He also remembered when those stories stopped. How his father finally told him the hero he thought was undefeatable had been killed. It had flipped his worldview upside down, showing him the unkindness lurking just outside their wooden walls.
He picked up his bottle. “Yeah well, eventually she’s going to figure out that stuff ain’t true.”
His partner laughed softly. “Of course she will. That’s all part of growing up.” He shoved his shoulder slightly. “But kids need someone to look up to; someone to strive to be like. You certainly wouldn’t be the same without your hero, right?”
Qrow rubbed the back of his neck. “Yeah, I guess so. But I’m not exactly a role model.”
“Only in some ways you’re not.” Tai gave a pointed look at the beer before focusing back on him. “But right now, Ruby can only see all the good things about you. So, instead of being a Pessimistic Perry about it, try and hold onto that for as long as you can, and appreciate it while it’s there.” He turned away, expression unusually somber, “After all, it doesn’t last forever. And once it’s gone, it never really comes back.”
He rolled the bottle around on the rim of its bottom end, feeling like he was missing something as he tried to decipher that look. “Do-” He had just started to ask, when a soft crying had him changing tracks, “Do you hear that?”
Tai lifted his head some, both of them staying very quiet.
And there it was again – an insistent and high-pitched whining coming from below them.
They shared a wide-eyed look before leaping over the railing. As they crouched down to look through the latticework that was supposed to close off the underside of the porch, Qrow took out his scroll and flipped on the flashlight. It took a moment of searching, but eventually he spotted movement and paused the beam on it.
“Oh my gods!” Tai breathed, his smile near manic as it spread across his lips.
Sure enough, Huntress was there, tucked away against the wall where the foundation of the house met the ground. And she wasn’t alone – four little bundles were curled up by her belly, squirming occasionally. They were the ones making all the racket.
“Guess she wasn’t fat after all.” Qrow snorted. Just their luck they’d get a pregnant dog.
Tai felt along the wood, probably debating where to break through it. “I wonder how she even got under there? Do you think we’ve got a hole somewhere?”
Or she made one. He thought with a snicker, trying to get a better look at the pups. They were mostly just blobs of color – three brown and one black. “Maybe we should just pull up the floorboards?”
“Yeah, that might be smarter. I’ll go get the tools.” The blond bounced to his feet, his liveliness renewed. He jabbed him lightly in the arm when he stood up next to him. “As for you, I think there’s a little girl upstairs waiting for her hero to come save the day.”
“Ah, come on.” He shoved him back, though dutifully climbed up the porch steps, convincing himself he was only doing it to stop all the rampant waterworks. He paused before going inside, chuckling secretively when he caught the excited little hop Tai performed as he sprinted for the shed. It was hard to tell if he was so happy because they had actually found the dog or because they now had four puppies they were stuck with raising.
Ah, who was he kidding. It was absolutely the puppies.
Qrow crossed through the house, scaling the stairs to the second floor until he was standing in front of the girls’ bedroom, hearing their faint whispering. Just as he was about to knock, Tai’s question pushed its way through his head again.
Why had Ruby chosen to call him when her dad was right there?
The more he thought it over, and coupled it with Yang’s practical, almost too grown-up reasoning, the more the picture became clear and his partner’s somber expression began making more sense.
At least he knew how to make it go away, even if only for one night.
Qrow pulled open the door. “Ruby, Yang! Get out here. You won’t believe who your dad just found!”
-
A/N: This one was Prompt 57: “Just get home as soon as possible, okay?!”
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My Toddler Is Slow With Potty Training. Now, My MIL Is Hinting That Im A Bad Parent
Every once in a while, life throws you a curveball. And when that happens, my weekly advice column Ask Becca is here to help!
If you have a question or concern and need some advice, you can send it my way at [email protected]!
Each week, I scour reader submissions looking for relevant questions that might help a lot of different people. I love opening up the conversation, and getting even more reader advice in the comments section!
Last week, we tackled a whole range of issues including introducing a third party to the marital bed, talking to a child in transition, an ex with addiction issues, and two unkind moms and got lots of amazing bonus advice from the readers!
This week, we’re going to be discussing potty-training, pushy parents, a cheating boyfriend, and beach body confidence.
Send your own questions to [email protected], and scroll through below for my very best advice!
Photo Credit: Flickr /makelessnoise
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Potty-Training Blues
Laura Caseley for LittleThings
My son just recently turned 3 and I’m having trouble with potty training.
He has no problem sitting on the potty, but he will not go on the potty. I have tried everything and am at a complete loss.
My in-laws are constantly nagging at me about how he should be potty trained by now and how to raise him.
[They]always have something to say and they are always putting me down like I’m such a horrible parent. It really upsets me.
Any suggestions on how to get him to go on the potty and getting my family to back off a little?
Sincerely,
Frustrated and Annoyed
Dear Frustrated,
Let me be the first to say, your in-laws sound like a couple of grumps!
Maybe their parenting days are so far in the rearview mirror that they don’t remember, but potty-training is a pain in the butt.
It’s really easy for them to be Monday-morning quarterbacks where your parenting is concerned, and conveniently forget about all their own foibles.
I guarantee they had potty-training problems of their own! It’s also worth noting that just-barely 3 iswell within the normal range for potty-training.
Most kids start learning around age 2, and figure it out between ages 2 1/2 and 3 1/2. Boys also tend to take longer to learn than girls, by as much as three months.
Your kiddo is getting the toilet thing he just needs to get comfortable!
Tell your in-laws to cool their jets; having such a strict idea of when a child should be potty-trained isn’t healthy for anyone.
If your son senses he’s letting people down, the stress might actually delay his progress.
As for helping him along, just gettinghim on the potty when he seems ready to go is the key.
Beyond that, you can consider trying a method like the marathon three-day potty training approachthat helps kids figure out the basics fast.
Honestly, though, I wouldn’t stress. He’s grasping the first steps, and he’s going to learn at his own pace. Your in-laws will just have to deal!
Lots of luck on your potty-training adventures!
Becca
Wedding-Crazy Parents
Laura Caseley for LittleThings
Dear Becca,
My ex comes home in a month, and my family insists that we are going to get married.
I have told them repeatedly that we aren’t.
They don’t give all my siblings the same treatment.
How do I get my point across without hurting anyone?
Sincerely,
Single
Dear Single,
Parents are lovely and wonderful human beings, but sometimes they just don’t know when to back off.
That can be especially true if Mom and Dad love your ex a whole lot more than youever did. I think you just have to tell them the plain and simple truth.
Say, “Mom and Dad, I love you guys and I know you want what’s best for me. But trust me when I say that [ex] isn’t it. He and I just aren’t good together, and I don’t feel that way about him.”
To be perfectly honest, it sounds like what your parents really want here is a wedding.
Are you the oldest in your family? They may just be excited for the future, and are putting all the pressure on you to deliver a big, exciting wedding day.
Just tell them that some things can’t be rushed. If you get married one day, it will be on your own terms, and you’ll wait for the right person!
I don’t think they have any right to feel “hurt” just because you choose to let a major life milestone like marriage develop at its own pace.
Enjoy the single life as long as you want! You’ll know when you’re ready for the next step.
Becca
Lying Boyfriend
Laura Caseley for LittleThings
So, I have been in a relationship with a man that is 13 years younger than me. I am 50 and he is 37.
We have been together for almost three years. Two of those three, we’ve been living together.
My problem is he constantly tells people we are just roommates… Or that he lives in his camper in the backyard.
He even told the ex wife this story. I heard this one from his sister. She wanted to know whose camper it was and why I was making him sleep out there.
I have received messages from total strangers on Facebook asking why I have pictures of ustogether and why my status says we’re in a relationship.
I commented on his picture one day and this stranger asked why I felt like I needed to comment, because they are talking to him and I shouldn’t care what my roommate does.
So I told him he could consider himself that “roommate” he so desperately wanted to be. My daughter is at college, he can have her room. My house, my bedroom.
Do you think he went to that room? Nope, crawled in bed with me. Acted like I didn’t say a word.
It’s my house should I make him leave?
Thank you,
Not Your Roommate, Your Relationship-Mate
Dear Not-Your-Roomie,
Usually, I’m a big advocate for working through your relationship and figuring out the next step slowly.
Here, however, I’m going to advise you to take decisive action: kick this freeloader to the curb. This guy is using you, big time.
He’s a piece of work who wants intimacy from you, and the full run of your home, but still wants to sleep with other women. It certainly seems like he’s got another flame on the side, perhaps several.
All these strangers starting conflicts with you online are presumably other women he’s involved with, who seem to believe you are misrepresenting yourself as his girlfriend.
I have no doubt that he is giving them all sorts of lines about why your Facebook profile is so different from the “just roommates” story he tells.
You have had a lengthy relationship with this man, so I understand why it might be hard to cut ties, but I think it would be for the best.
He’s little more than a mooch, leaning on your kindness to feed his womanizing ways. You’ve already taken the hardest step by breaking up with him, now it’s time to finish the task and give him his walking papers.
Never forget, you deserve better than a lazy jerk who calls you his roommate.
Good luck, don’t lose your nerve!
Becca
Not Beach-Body Ready
Laura Caseley for LittleThings
Hi Becca,
I really hope you can help me; I have a self-confidence issue and I just don’t know what to do.
I live on the coast, which I normally love, but I dread the summertime.
All my girlfriends love hitting the beach and don’t think twice about stripping down to their swimsuits.
They all have nice bodies, and they feel confident in how they look. I want to hang out with them and join in on the beach days, but I just feel lousy about my body.
I have stretch marks after having two kids, and I have a skin condition that flares up from time to time and makes me really self-conscious. I can never just relax and feel confident.
What do I do? How do I relax and enjoy a beach trip with my friends when I am hyper-aware of how I look every single minute? Please help!
Wannabe Beach Bunny
Dear Beach Bunny,
You know what? I can almost guarantee that every lady in you group of beautiful, confident girlfriends gets just as nervous about bathing-suit season as you do.
In fact, they probably think of youasthe outgoing girl with the killer bod. There’s a girl right now thinking, “I wish I had Beach Bunny’s long legs and winning smile.”
You write that you have a skin condition and stretch marks. I would bet you $100 that no one else ever notices these minor “flaws.”
They just make you feel self-conscious because you are so aware of them, and you end up feeling like you have a spotlight trained on your every trouble spot.
In fact, all of your friends are probably busy stressing about their own minor imperfections you know, the ones that you have literally never even noticed.
The honest truth is, weall dread bathing-suit season, but we don’t have to.
By the time you actually hit the waves, nobody is laser-focusing in on another woman’s cellulite or hairy mole, because you’re at thebeach! All that stress and buildup tends to dissolve the second you stretch out in the sun or jump into the water.
And if you’re still too hung up on feeling awkward in your skin, remember this: you areperfect.
Your amazing body has produced two children! It takes care of you every day, so it deserves a trip to the beach.
If it makes you feel more confident, start treating you skin condition and stretch marks a few weeks in advance so you’ll focus on them less. Then? Just relax!
At heart, you’re a total sun-kissed surfer babe. The second you relax into the salt and sand, you’ll remember that!
Build a sand castle for me!
Becca
Laura Caseley for LittleThings
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[email protected], and let us know whats going on.
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Mom Packs Lunch For Baby Girl. Hours Later, Shes Sent Home With Angry Red Note
No parent wants to get an angry note home from their child’s teacher. And they certainly don’t want to get an angry note over something as tiny as a slice of chocolate cake!
Unfortunately for one mom in Australia, that’s exactly what happened. She sent her little girl to kindergarten with some chocolate cake packed in her lunch.
She never expected the dramatic shaming that would come next, when the school decided her lunch choices were sounhealthy they warrantedan angry note home.
There are a lot of stories floating around these days about schools shaming parents over the silliest things, like we saw with the chronically-ill mom who was called ‘lazy’ by the school for wearing PJs to morning drop-off.
The Australian mom had a similar experience with her daughter’s kindergarten after packing the chocolate cake for lunch, and shared her upsetting encounterwith her friend Melinda Tankard Reist.
Reist is a writer with a prominent social media following, and she quickly got the word out about this particularly unkind form of mommy-shaming.
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Facebook / Melinda Tankard Reist
One mom in Australia got a rude reprimand from her daughter’s school after she sent her little one with a packed lunch that included a slice of chocolate cake for dessert.
The mom has decided to stay anonymous, but she shared her experience with Melinda Tankard Reist, a friend who is an author with a large social media following.
Reist shared the mommy-shaming note to her own Facebook page, where it quickly racked up more than a thousand likes and hundreds of comments.
Facebook / Melinda Tankard Reist
The note reads, “Your child has ‘chocolate slice’ from the Red Food category today. Please choose healthier options for Kindy.”
It came written in bright red ink, and stamped with a giant frowny face.
In Australia, the public school system encourages parents to pack healthy lunches by categorizing different types of food as green (good), yellow (okay), and red (bad.)
While we like the idea in theory, it seems a bit over-the-top to send such an obviously shaming and condescending note home because ofonetreat packed in the lunchbox.
Flickr / US Department of Agricultural
Reist feels similarly, posting her own thoughts on the matter alongside the note.
She writes, “My friend (mother of 8 healthy children, what follows relating to no. 7) received this today from her 3 year old’s kindy. I told her to put in two slices tomorrow and tell them to get lost.”
In a statement to LittleThings, Reist also notes that both of the little girl’s parents have health science degrees and take healthy eating very seriously.
Wikimedia Commons
In fact, they rarely send anything unhealthy in with their kiddos, but they also know the value of an occasional special treat.
Reist adds, “The slice was homemade for her brother’s birthday and as per family tradition, leftovers went to school the next day.”
In fact, they discovered that homemade cake doesn’t even violate the school system rules, which specifically ban processed, packaged cakes.
Flickr / Leslie Richards
The bigger problem with the note wasn’t that it asked them not to send cake in with school lunch. After all, we all know cake isn’t an everyday snack, it’s a special occasion dessert!
We imagine that mom and dad probably wouldn’t have minded the school reaching out in a kind way and saying, ‘we know this was a special occasion, but please don’t make a habit of sending in sugary treats.’ That’s a reasonable request.
Instead, the request was sent home with the 3-year-old child, in the form of rude, impersonal, and patronizing note to the parents.
Wikimedia Commons
Reist notes that notes like this are probably the result of harried teachers trying to check an item off the list as quickly as possibly, but is worried that it sends the wrong message.
Not only are mom and dad being shamed for how they choose to feed their child, little kidsmight see that big red frowny face and start to develop an unhealthy sense of some food being ‘bad’ and other food being ‘good,’without understanding that it’s okay to eat special desserts and treats in moderation.
What do you think of this teacher’s approach to a ‘bad’ food? Let us know in the comments and don’t forget toSHARE this story with parents everywhere!
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