#I’ve been listening to the 2010 concert a lot

[spocksgotemotions]

lately i can’t stop thinking about Javert LesMis. Fascinating guy. The strict adherence to a black and white belief system that turned following the law into its own religion. The way his understanding of the world is fully and completely shook by a few grand acts of kindness. Also cool how he’s described as a sort of beast a lot.

[bonebrokebuddy]

I’ve been seeing a few folks complain about people writing hcs of DC characters with ooc song preferences, which it’s not that serious. But it gives me an excuse to show off my DC character playlists.

I initially created them as I saw a lot of playlists for Bruce & Jason with just a lot of dad rock.

Which, fair. Not everyone’s into metal.

But since I know it’s not an easy genre to get into, if you want inspiration, feel free to check out these playlists!

My one main rule for making playlists is that a majority, if not all, of the songs need to be in a genre I think the character would listen to based on their canon music taste. This is regardless whether or not it’s a genre I like. I try my best to find fun songs regardless of my personal preference.

The Playlists:

Batman: various genres of metal. I tried to go for more Doom Metal(slow & repetitive vs thrash’s blast beats and fast guitar) but there’s more than one genre of metal that’s characterized by slower instrumentals & I can’t keep up with all the names so it varies. Dad metal. Made sure that there was a sprinkle of Black Metal too (mainly bc I think it’s funny. If you’ve never listened to black metal, it sounds like you chucked the vocalist in a grinder at high speeds then proceeded to mix your instruments & your vocals the worst you could possibly make it. It’s nearly incomprehensible and it’s Perfect for Bruce.)

Bruce Wayne: a touch of old school doom metal, a sprinkle of black metal as you can write a Batman story without Bruce Wayne but not a Bruce Wayne story without Batman. A more chill version of the Batman playlist that I think Bruce would jam out to as not everyone’s into metal and I wanted to give people another option that didn’t have as heavy stuff in it.

Tim Drake: Mostly time accurate with 90s-2010’s punk rock & alt rock influences all the way through with a touch of metal to show his connection to Bruce & a few other off genre songs that represent his YJ98 pals. I tried my best to include as many bands as I could find that he canonically enjoyed as well.

Jason Todd: Jason was introduced in the 80s & is a canonical metalhead, so I think he’d listen to a combination of 80s dad metal, death metal (come on, it’s just too perfect of a genre name to pass up), thrash, & a little black metal (the genre I assigned to Batman).

Clark Kent: Dad metal. He canonically listens to Metallica post-crisis so I just gave him my dad’s taste in music lmao. Made sure to add a few satire ones because Clark is an little shit and would very much enjoy satire songs. Unfortunately, I genuinely could not get my Spotify recs to give me decent country music. I tried. It only gave me modern mainstream artists and after a month of trying to find good pre 2000’s country, I just gave up. So it’s mainly metal:(

If any of y’all want to send me 80s-2000’s country recs, that would be very kind of y’all. (the type of country music ma & pa kent would listen to that Clark would have grown up with)

Kon-El: is full of songs that are, well, time accurate to his original run. Ranging from 1969-2002 [the year his solo run was canceled], this playlist not only has songs he could have theoretically picked up in a record shop or blasted on a boom box during the day but is also full of bands he canonically listens to! This playlist is chalk full of Kon’s canonical alt rock & metal music taste as well as rock and proto-metal hits of the time!

Bart Allen: to be clear, Bart wouldn’t listen to any of these as music is just too slow for him. These are songs that relate to Bart or songs that represent his connections to his friends with no specific genre as I didn’t just want to have playlists full of nothing but metal. (Although I think he’d really like metal concerts as he’d probably enjoy the feeling of the heavy base resonate in his chest.)

[canmom]

I just read A Summoning! I really liked it. I’ve been told authors enjoy long-form comments, so if that’s true for you then here’s a reflection that got quite personal:

The use of second-person made me feel like I was looking in a mirror and the mirror was speaking into existence what it saw in me. I don’t think I’ve ever read something like that from a trans fem perspective. My social context (skewing heavily trans masc) is very invested in this sort of “listening and learning” approach, conspicuously uplifting and deferring to the sociopolitical opinions of trans fems because how could we possibly presume to understand their experience? Reading this knocked some sense into me about how alienating that must be from the other end. I don’t happen to be a trans girl, but why would that mean their experiences aren’t relatable to me? It seems absurd and unhelpful and dehumanizing and dangerous and just mean to reject that fact. Maybe this is just a painting of my own shortcomings, but I’m so glad that your story gave me an opportunity to connect better.

Some parts I found compelling and relatable:

- The self-shrinking, both physically and by the narrowing of memory. Painful but relatively brief experiences consume and overpower the narrative of self.

- Unwanted and painful bodily changes, and contending with the potential of taking agency to make further changes that are painful but (more or less) wanted.

- Plurality of the body, especially related to pain or division (dismemberment). This one hit me once for being bigender, and the a second time for chronic pain and old injuries.

I also greatly appreciated the intention and good research you put into describing the clothing. Historical costuming is a big interest of mine, and it always warms my heart when artists share that priority with me.

Also the esoterica cum gore (Latin pun intended) was delicious.

Thank you so much! This is exactly the sort of thoughtful comment I really appreciate getting <3

I think that 'how could we possibly understand' is a trap (hehehe... sorry). It's something that tended to get pushed very hard in the 2010s, this sort of standpoint epistemology thing, taken from a matter of courtesy (along the lines of don't talk down to people) to this kind of presumption of the intrinsic unknowability. Which is self-defeating! You've gotta believe communication is actually possible!

I plan to go into this more at some point but one thing I really perceived when I was on LSD a few weeks ago was a separation of the different faculties or parts of my mind; how much even different parts of the brain have their own spaces of concepts, like a sense of conceptual, image-like thinking that was being interpreted by the linguistic part of my brain; how all these elements work in concert to make 'me' happen. this was in part inspired by learning more about how artificial neural nets such as LLMs work, which encode concepts as vectors in high-dimensional spaces.

anyway the point being, communication within the brain and communication between brains, it's the same problem. we are attempting to map information that has meaning in one space to a corresponding meaning in another. and the way we do that is language. when I say 'red', it excites the various associations that my net of neurons has with certain sensory perceptions, a signal from my cone cells and so on. those are unique to my brain, unique even to different parts of my brain. but, by associating that word with a common experience, it's possible to excite the corresponding, analogous (or as I became convinced was a word when I was tripping, analogistical) set of associations in your brain. I think of it with a physics metaphor: thoughts are a lot like oscillations, normal modes and so on.

so we may not have had the exact same experience, the pattern of thoughts that get excited in your brain when I say 'red' are in no way identical to the ones in mine. but we are able to use the word as an anchor point, to excite oscillations in our respective brains that allow a back-and-forth to happen. if you talk about redness, I can imagine what you might be seeing by invoking my experience of redness, and vice versa.

so, for example, I haven't personally experienced what it is like to, say, live under anti-black racism, any more than you have experienced what it's like to be a trans woman. in fact, I haven't experienced a good many of the infinite contradictory things that one would consider to be part of The Canonical Transfem Experience(TM) either. but, if you're willing to listen, it's possible I can bring up analogous experiences and say, this is what my life's been like, and what other people told me they experienced, and these are some theories I find relevant, and perhaps excite some memory in you of what your life's been like that you can use to imagine what I'm on about.

the skill of a really good artist is to find the words, images, symbols, expressions, sensory effects, etc. etc. that can get across some of that inner world, that particular set of experiences, and let you construct something analogous in your own head. it will never be exactly the same, it is a limited channel and how you interpret it will be specific to your particular set of thought-resonances, but that doesn't matter. it's close enough to be meaningful.

thomas nagel famously asked if it's possible to know what it's like to be a bat, equipped with a sense that we humans lack. well, we don't know exactly what it's like to be a bat, but we can try to imagine it based on what we know about bats and what we do know. we can construct experiments in human echolocation, or use or knowledge in the differences between sound and light to imagine what echolocation would 'look like'. and we can build up a more detailed sense of bats by closely observing them (another @baeddel post: the amateur ethology one), so we can get a sense of the different ways bats act in different contexts, the nuances of specific bats, etc. etc. unfortunately we can't tell the bats what we've come up with and have them confirm or deny it! we are very limited in our channels of communication with most animals.

humans, on the other hand, have this absolutely insane invention we call language. we don't know exactly what it's like to be another person, but we can tell each other through the shared protocol, and that's a feedback loop, which will tend to bring our internal resonances more into concordance with each other. so the more we talk, the more curiosity we engage in, the better we understand each other.

(maybe the hippies were onto something with all that vibrations talk.)

so, all in all, I'm glad that my story made my experiences more comprehensible to you! in fact that's maybe the highest compliment you can give me, so thanks very much :3

and just to confirm your thought there - idk what it's like in your scene, but personally, I never want deference. I want friends. I want someone to meet me halfway, and take me seriously, but that also means if I'm talking shit, I don't want anyone to be like, ah, this sounds like bullshit but it must be mysterious transfem deep knowledge, inaccessible if you don't belong to this specific canonical demographic. like lmao what is that. even if one person is more knowledgeable about a thing than another so the information goes mostly one-way - a good teacher pays attention to and listens to their students. it's never only one-way.

(social media fucking sucks why are we on it)

long tangent aside, thanks for reading my story <3 i am super grateful for every engaged and thoughtful comment that anyone ever gives, that is absolutely the best thing you can ever get when you make an art. I have thought this and that about whether this story was any good, but hearing this makes me glad i wrote it and glad I finally released it. I can't wait to send out some more more freaky shit from the inside of this brain.

[iuteamstarcandy]

GQ Korea (September 2010)

Cute – IU

IU, who is self-aware that she is ‘acting cute’, is serious and smart, which makes her cute, since she’s so intelligent. However, she doesn’t like it when adults treat her like a child, so don’t make it obvious.

You’re having your school holidays now right? Do you perhaps have a daily schedule…?

IU: I didn’t plan one at all. Anyway, I won’t be able to follow it. I’m just going to go with the flow this time and sleep in late too. It overlaps with my album preparations though. I started out with singing practice in the past, but these days, I think a lot and write a lot and read a lot. That’s more helpful. (My vocal) techniques improve if I practise day in and day out, but that’s all to it. A song that a person who travels and reads books sings is indeed different. My composer oppa taught me this. I said I was going to study guitar, piano, singing and English. I was ambitious about techniques. But he asked me why I was suppressing what I could do well at and asked me, “You have no idea how much your singing improves after you come back from a trip, right?” So I excitedly went on a trip and came back. That’s how my pressure vanished. (Now) I certainly enjoy singing and also hear people around me say that my singing has improved. It’s amazing.

You don’t practise just for the practice anymore then?

IU: I haven’t done so in awhile, I think. I’m suddenly feeling anxious today. I’m worried that I might have lost my skills. But these days, I sing as much as I want when I feel like singing. When I’m at home and I just play my guitar and sing, I get really excited. That becomes much (better) practice. It’s fun even when I’m practising, so won’t that feeling continue during my actual performance?

Whose songs did you sing before you made your debut?

IU: I sang a whole lot of Gummy sunbaenim’s songs. It’s hard to imagine based on my current songs right? I’m trying to use my pretty voice these days. I sang with a really husky voice in the past. I would definitely use vibrato and use my high pitched voice. I thought I was doing a good job that way back then. Having listened to a lot of old songs, I tried that and found out it had no appeal at all. My company said I sounded like Gummy or Byeol and that voice is too common.

In that case, right now, what kind of singer do you want to become?

IU: Corinne Bailey Rae is my role model. She doesn’t sing as well as Beyonce, but she slays with the feel (of her voice), you know. I went to her concert recently too. I really like her 1st album, but having heard her perform live, I sensed that the depth of her voice in the 2nd album was completely different. If I can become like her, I would be really happy.

Do you think singers who are the same age as you are a bit different from you?

IU: I think we’re similar. Anyway, the kind of music we do on broadcasts is more or less the same. It can’t be helped. I don’t think my fans will like it either if I suddenly just release acoustic music. There’s (all the music) I’ve been releasing so far. Ignoring all of that at one go is a form of betrayal to my fans, I think. Because I’m a pop singer after all.

There’s an unwritten law that for a female singer to succeed within a few years, she has to join a team, right?

IU: There’s no one who wants to form a team with me. They already formed a group and then I came in alone. The unnies and I have a big age gap too. Also, they couldn’t bury my voice anywhere, right? I thought I would get to make my debut some 4 to 5 years later, but 1 year later, I was the first to make my debut. I wasn’t ambitious to make my debut early actually.

Did you find out why you were the first to go?

IU: They said it was because there was no pressure on me. Since I was only 16, even if I flopped, they said I had a lot of time.

Haha, what do you think of your mini album personally?

IU: Criticism is fine, but I couldn’t gain popularity. I expected as much. I thought there would be resistance against a 3rd year middle school student singing a song about farewell. On the day I made my debut, TVXQ, Epik High and Wonder Girls all had their comeback. I was unlucky to make my debut amidst the chaos between idol groups. Honestly, all trainees think that if they make their debut, their world would change. Because to me, I am the best. I was looking forward to it, but seeing the results, I didn’t make it, so I let go of my ambitions. I thought to myself that I had already made my debut after all. But then suddenly, the concept of my next album was decided. It wasn’t something I had done before and was in a direction that I had never tried. I said I wasn’t confident and couldn’t do it, but somehow the album was released right? Oh gosh, but after trying it out, it was fun. The audience liked it and I went on (KBS) ‘Sketchbook’ too. I realized that I needed listeners and fans and that having popular appeal is important.

Which of your songs do you think suits you best?

IU: ’Ugly Duckling’ suits my voice and ‘Feel So Good’ suits my style. I think I suit an acoustic or comfortable (style). ‘Mia’ wasn’t a style that I wanted. ‘Marshmallow’ wasn’t a song I really liked either. I wanted to do something else. Perhaps because I don’t have the ability to do it yet, my company isn’t in my way. I need time to prepare. I don’t want to reach for the impossible. I have fans who like listening to me sing and play the guitar too.

You must be thinking a lot about your next album.

IU: Really a lot, of course. I’m going to go crazy. I think no matter what I do, it’s going to be obvious (t/n: too boring and predictable). Because I already came in 1st place with ‘Nagging’. I think to myself that my next album has to turn out as good as ‘Nagging’. There isn’t anything in particular that I want to do, so I’m troubled by that. I’ve been receiving (songs) of various genres for now. I proposed to my company to ask for songs from the composers I like.

Do you have that much power in your company?

IU: Our company doesn’t have that many singers. I’m the first one, so they respect my decision a lot. I’ve known the producer since my 2nd year of middle school, so he knows me well.

What is something that you hated doing the most so far while doing promotions?

IU: They say the starting is difficult and promoting for ‘Boo’ made me feel very pressured. They wanted me to ‘pretend to look cute’ which was something I had never done before. That sort of thing is for pretty girls, I think. I’m not good-looking and plump, so I couldn’t pull it off well. As I’m not pretty, the clothes didn’t suit me either. But the people around me gave me a lot of confidence. They told me I’m pretty and cute and charming.

Do you mean you didn’t think you looked good?

IU: I never thought I was ugly to the extent of being swore at. But as I was promoting ‘Mia’ at the broadcasting studio, I saw so many pretty faces. Seeing my own face on TV, I got a shock. I went, ‘Did I always look this bad?’ But now I think I kind of have a competitive edge. My fans say they like me because I seem like a younger sister.

You look more mature than your peers though?

IU: That’s what I used to think too. But now when my friends talk about going to university, I feel so detached and just hearing the phrase ‘looking for jobs’ gives me goosebumps. They often go, ‘What kind of jobs are you all going to look for?’ From time to time, I wonder if I’ll never be able to grow up anymore.

Oh yes, you mentioned that you have no plans to attend university right?

IU: I don’t think I will regret it. I made my debut in middle school, so I don’t have friends from school and I don’t regret this at all. I lost my friends, but I met Luna (f/x) and I met composer oppa. I think I was rewarded differently. I don’t even have the confidence to go to university given my abilities. If I do go, I’ll have to attend by special enrolment (t/n: based on one’s resume and background). I don’t think it’s a bad thing. But I don’t want to do that. My older cousin is in her 3rd year of high school and seeing how much she’s suffering, I don’t think I’ll be able to enter (university) easily. Those who study hard and have a tough time are the ones who should get in, for the university to be functioning well. If you get into university, you need to study, of course. But if I go to university, would I even be able to attend school properly? I’m planning to study when I want to study.

IU used phrases like ‘heol’ (omg) and ‘daebak’ (awesome) too, like young people these days. Her replies were as swift as an arrow. She didn’t seem to censor herself at all. We didn’t talk about anything special and she didn’t use any exceptional language, but I felt a tingling sensation at times. Because the more she was like an intelligent adult, with her honest words, varying tones and rich expressions, the more she revealed her ‘emotions’ which she had kept hidden.

Do you think this is the time for you to do more music?

IU: I actually feel this is the time for studying. What’s confusing is that I really lack confidence in studying. I used to study really hard. I attended kindergarten from the age of three. My mum strongly encouraged me to study. I was stressed the whole time, thinking I had to do well in my studies. If I put in effort to catch up, I can do it, but it’s not easy for me to stretch my hand out (t/n: to achieve it).

Is there any other special talent you want to have besides singing?

IU: Teleportation! And charisma! I’m lacking in charisma. Those who like my live performances say I ‘eat CDs’. Because I sound exactly the same on CD and when performing live. But if the CD and the live performance sound the same, there’s no need to perform live then. It’s because I lack the charisma that comes from the live performance. The kind of charisma that Lee Eunmi sunbaenim or Harim sunbaenim have. Rather than to hear that I eat CDs, I want to hear people say, “The live (performance) is better”. I’m always disappointed though. I went on “Yoon Do Hyun’s Love Letter” when I made my debut initially and performed ‘Like a Star’ with the band. Other than that performance, I don’t think I’ve ever done well on stage. I lack confidence.

You receive positive feedback for your singing and yet you lack confidence in singing?

IU: I really don’t like my singing. It sounds different from what I imagine. When I sing, I think I’ll sound cool, but when I actually listen to it, it’s just so-so. They say the confidence you have on stage is useless. If you become too absorbed in the performance, you might produce weird sounds or if you try hard to sing a certain part, you don’t do it justice at all. If I get too carried away, all the sounds become amplified. On the stage, I think I should be focusing, rather than being ‘snobby’ (t/n: being proud of oneself).

Aren’t you being too hard on yourself? When do you think you’ll feel more at ease?

IU: When I’m in my twenties.

Is the most crucial thing for you now to gather experience and do what you want to?

IU: I wanted to become a singer and so I did and the hardship I went through as a trainee was for this purpose, so now that I’ve become a singer, if I’m not happy, then everything is meaningless. I have to be happy first. I have got to become happy quickly.

It would be a bit of a shame if only work could make you happy though?

IU: That’s right. But when I feel happy on stage, I’m in a state of ecstasy. Nothing else can compare to the special kind of ecstasy. I want to get that feeling more often. It would be great if it was like that every time.

Is it only on stage?

IU: Ah! I thought of something else. The dark blue sky that appears when the sun sets and before it turns completely dark. The night-coloured sky that can be seen around 8:30pm these days. When I see such things, it’s so refreshing. Acoustic music gives me such feelings too.

Translated by IUteamstarcandy

Source: [1]

[greensparty]

Album Reviews: Bruce Springsteen / Pearl Jam

This week I got to review a compilation album from one of my favorite musicians and a new studio album from one of my favorite groups!

Bruce Springsteen Best of Bruce Springsteen

51 years since Bruce Springsteen released his debut album Greetings from Asbury Park, NJ, he has consistently made great albums with his brand of rock for decades. Here at Green’s Party, I’ve been lucky enough to review his 2019 album Western Stars, 2020′s Letter to You, the 2021 live album The Legendary 1979 No Nukes Concerts and 2022's Only the Strong Survive. As much as I have enjoyed his studio and live releases, this marks the first time I have had the opportunity to review a compilation album with Best of Bruce Springsteen which drops this week from Columbia.

album cover (from the same photo shoot as Born to Run)

The 1995 compilation Greatest Hits is one of my favorites. It covers his career up to the mid-90s and included some new songs. Over the years since then there's been some other compilations including 2003's The Essential Bruce Springsteen. This new compilation is being released in a few different formats. The one I got to review is the double album on vinyl featuring 18 songs from 1973 to 2020. With only 18 tracks (not to be confused with his rarities collection Tracks and 18 Tracks) there's bound to be plenty of songs and eras left off. I suppose it's a good problem to have to have so many solid songs in the catalog that you can't include them all on a double album. But still I couldn't help but be surprised that Lucky Town, Devils & Dust, Working on a Dream, and Wrecking Ball (my #5 Best Albums of the 2010s) weren't included, even though songs from those albums were included on the digital release. I can understand We Shall Overcome, High Hopes, and Only the Strong Survive not being included since they were all or mostly cover songs.

Bottom line: if you're a fan of The Boss you most likely own all of these songs already. While I think there's been far better and longer compilation albums from him, this is good as a succinct sampler of some of his best songs. I, personally, would have added some other songs, but in terms of hits or fan favorites, this does the job.

For info on Best of Bruce Springsteen

4 out of 5 stars

Pearl Jam Dark Matter

Through this blog, I have been fortunate enough to cover Pearl Jam multiple times over the years: their live album and DVD Let’s Play Two, their 2018 concert at Fenway Park in Boston, their last studio album Gigaton, last year's 30th anniversary edition of Vs. and their numerous solo and side projects (too many to namecheck here). Now the band is back with their highly anticipated 12th studio album Dark Matter from Monkeywrench / Republic Records. It was produced by producer-of-the-moment Andrew Watt, who produced singer Eddie Vedder's best solo album Earthling as well as The Rolling Stones' Hackney Diamonds. Talk about a meeting of the musical minds!

album cover

It is impossible to not be in awe of Watt as a producer. Sure he has produced a ton of pop stars, but in the last few years, he has been a good luck charm for numerous rock albums and in the case of Earthling and Hackney Diamonds he actually co-wrote some songs with the artist and here on Dark Matter he co-wrote all of the songs. He is truly a music geek whose love for PJ is showing through on this album. There's some songs like "Wreckage" that remind me a lot of the Yield-era. Other songs feel like they are swinging for U2-level stadium sing-alongs.

Bottom line: While Gigaton was a serious comeback album (their best since the 2006 self-titled album) for the band, this album is sustaining some of that magic. It's also an album, like a lot of the best PJ works, that gets better with each listen!

For info on Dark Matter

4 out of 5 stars

[evareviews]

‘Truth Decay’

February 10th was a good day for me – travelling to London for a You Me At Six (YMAS) concert, I had three new albums to explore on that long, incredibly boring journey. Of course, Paramore’s This is Why album was the highlight of the day, alongside YMAS’s Truth Decay and Pierce the Veil’s Jaws of Life. Today’s focus will be on YMAS’s Truth Decay – was it worth the delay, and all their hype?

I was introduced to YMAS from a very young age by my cousin, but never got into them too much. This was until Bite my Tongue came on the radio, early 2012 – where my love really stemmed from, and started to grow. By the end of the year, I had been to my first ‘proper’ concert (i.e., one I actually wanted to go to), with their Final Night of Sin live at Wembley arena – and what a night that was. Sinners Never Sleep holds a special place in my heart, but the true shining album for me is their 2010 Hold me Down album – with Stay with Me, Contagious Chemistry, Trophy Eyes and of course, Underdog, taking the lead for possibly their best songs. Their fourth album following Sinners Never Sleep, Cavalier Youth, held a different tone and mood, but the spring vibe to the album is one that I embraced and enjoy – an album to enjoy for blue skies and drinks. It has some songs the follow the same ideas of their first three, such as Fresh Start Feverand Room to Breathe, but the others breathed a new gush of air into the band, and again, I enjoyed the spring vibes that came with it.

But from Cavalier Youth onwards, I started to enjoy their music just that little bit less. Night People, VI and SUCKAPUNCH I enjoyed, but to a much lesser extent. It didn’t stop me from going to their shows of course, but there was the feeling that a lot of their songs were produced solely for the matter of playing them live, as opposed to home listening. Don’t get me wrong, I love seeing these performances – due to the pandemic, their performance at Alexandra Palace this year was my first show of theirs since 2019 and experiencing SUCKAPUNCH live was honestly an amazing experience. But the three albums since Cavalier Youth, just don’t share those same components that their first four albums did – it seemed a pretty big leap away from their old tones, and honestly, VI was not an album I was expecting at all. I still enjoy them but have far more songs I don’t choose listen to, than those I’ll actively want to listen to.

Which leads me, of course, to Truth Decay. Having brought the tickets to the album tour, back in July of last year, I was incredibly excited – mostly for the fact that it would be my 9th YMAS show to date (so close to double digits!), but also for the new music that would be released. Deep Cuts and No Future? Yeah Right, were in my favourite of the singles, and though the others later released I wouldn’t enjoy as much, these two gave me hope for the new album – a good mix of their original vibes, a bit of angst and anger, alongside some newer vibes that I was hoping would grow on me. I know heartLESS certainly did, and I’ve had it on my mind on a loop for a while recently, so naturally I was excited for Truth Decay’s eventual release. Having it pushed back, so that we couldn’t experience much of it live was a slight disappointment, however the setlist that they did perform, more than made up for that – and maybe it was for the better.

The album isn’t a complete let down – with the three singles I really enjoy, alongside After Love in the After Hours, Breakdown and A Love Letter to Those Who Feel Lost, the album holds up. A Love Letter to Those Who Feel Lost, is absolutely beautiful – Cody Frost’s vocals pair so wonderfully with Josh Franceschi’s, creating an incredibly emotive and stunning performance. But the album certainly doesn’t take a top spot in their works, in my opinion. For the most part, the only way I can describe it is ‘meh’ – it’s slightly underwhelming. Perhaps this is in part to its release date? The original release date was scheduled for the 27th of January, but due to vinyl production issues, this was pushed back to February 10th – as we know, the date of Paramore’s This is Why release, alongside Pierce the Veil’s Jaws of Life. Perhaps a reason to my feelings of slight disappointment, was my excitement for Paramore’s release? I made the conscious effort to listen to YMAS’s album first – both in preparation for the concert, and to try and not let Paramore’s album overshadow their work, and yet it just failed to live up to any expectations. The album’s okay. It just isn’t excellent, and to be fair, I suppose my love for Hold me Down, makes any that follow a little hard to live up to. I have grown to like the direction YMAS are choosing to follow with their form of maturity and their explorations of genres outside of teen angst, but the few songs that stand out, don’t overtake my love for their old music. I can still recognise a bit of their old genre, especially in God Bless the 90s Kids, and even in A Smile to Make You Weak(er) at the Knees, but for me, it just isn’t enough.

That being said, this will never stop me from listening to whatever they produce next or seeing them live – even for those who don’t love YMAS, their live performances are truly an experience. They never fail to put on a good, lively, welcoming, and wonderful show, and the band truly know how to create an excellent atmosphere.

Maybe the album will grow on me. I really hope so.

[philhoffman]

This week’s Monday Philm is Jack Goes Boating (2010), directed by Philip Seymour Hoffman.

I can’t say how relieved I was that this happened to be this week’s movie. The anniversary of Phil’s death last week wrecked me all over again and brought up a lot of complicated feelings and I felt pretty isolated from him, so for a few days I’ve been trying to find my way back. Jack Goes Boating is his labor of love in every way, made with his closest loved ones, from his LAByrinth family to his Mimi as the costume director to his very own production company. It’s easy to find him again here.

We talk a lot about how Phil never did a “traditional” romcom and what a shame that is (it is!), but the more I fall in love with Jack Goes Boating, the less I mind. He was never a conventional actor and this funny, awkward, earnest love story is more true to his heart than any mainstream picture could ever be. I really felt for Jack on this viewing, felt his emotions so strongly. When he’s sitting in the hospital waiting room, koala on his knee, preparing himself to visit Connie alone—I can feel the butterflies, that churning anxiety, wanting to see someone but feeling so nervous and wanting to be good and right for them. His meltdown at the dinner party, that wave of massive rage and frustration covering up for plain sadness and disappointment, adrenaline racing through your body you can only shake and tremble and try not to put your fists through everything you see. The embarrassment, the fear.

I love this soundtrack. “Peace Piece” by Bill Evans is my favorite jazz song in the world, if not my favorite song period, and I’ve developed quite a history with it. Hearing it as the credits rolled the first time I watched JGB, sobbing my eyes out. A few months later, listening to it while making pancakes in the kitchen past midnight, suddenly overwhelmed by Phil’s influence on my life and all the beauty and art and love I’ve found because of him. Further still, it played in Madison Square Garden before a concert I’d traveled to NYC to see, listening to it with thousands of people and thinking of Phil and everything that brought us to that moment. It’s a good song, is all. 

Jack Goes Boating is a directorial debut and maybe it is not the most perfect and polished film in the world but it’s honest. It is New York City and koala bears and the transit authority and saying yes, I will be hurt by you, and getting hurt and real bodies and nervous tics and Fleet Foxes and awkward conversation and kissing in the snow because sometimes that really happens. “Take me, yeah, I want you to take me, c’mon, take me.” He is really so beautiful.

Phil was so looking forward to his next opportunity to direct a film. He really fell in love with the job. He deserved the chance to explore it more. 

[ruminate88]

What Music Did You Grow Up With?

I wanna take a break from talking about the healing journey and talk about music cuz that’s my passion in life 🎶👏🏻

There’s musicians and song writers on both sides of my family. I have a HUGE family. 100 cousins on both sides of my family but I’m closer to my dad’s side. My aunt Becky use to be on local radio in the 80’s for gospel music. I grew up listening to an Uncle sing never knowing he wrote most of the songs he sang 😳 He just doesn’t brag about it but he’s so talented!! (I always thought the songs he sang came from gospel radio)

My dad can mess around for fun on the piano and guitar but doesn’t actually play. He can sing a little too but also doesn’t do it seriously… My MOM on the other hand though, she can chord on piano and guitar PLUS she’s the BEST singer I’ve ever heard in the whole world. She’s got soul and range but she’ll never ever brag about it 🥺🥰 and she never thinks she’s as good as she is. I’ve heard her sing all of my life and it has always intimated me LOL People always ask do I sing like my mom and it’s like “HAH, I wish…” 😅 My brother and my nieces also sing really well.

My dad always played pop music at home, soft rock and smooth jazz. My mom played gospel music and blue grass. My older brother always played heavy metal privately when I would ride in his mustang with him but played country music in front of our parents to cover up what he was actually listening to…. Hah I heard a range of music styles growing up.

For me, I listened to pop and r&b. My favorite was Craig David but I also loved Brian McKnight, Boyz ll Men and Ne-yo. I loved “The Year of a Gentleman” album. At 17, I thought I was a rapper LOL I use to listen to Bone, thugs and harmony plus DMX lol By the time I’m in my 20s, I fell in love with trance and EDM. I was depressed for 3 and a half years and trance music such as Jax Jones, Above & Beyond, got me through. By the time I’m 26, I’m in love with indie pop-rock music such as: The 1975, Bad Suns, Atlas, The Bleachers, etc… In my darkest moments, I leaned on Bad Suns the most. There songs just got me through where I was.

I have listened to music my whole life. Music is the only language I truly speak and relate to others and life situations. When I can’t get people to understand me, I put a song in its place 🎶👏🏻 I have never sang in front of family seriously or sang them a song I’ve written 😳 I’m shy haha but I’ve written songs on the piano I’ve played…. Maybe one day I’ll sing for my family. I’ve played in a few bands over the years but only playing the piano. I’ve also played the organ and the violin. Gospel music has mostly shaped my abilities but pop music drives my lyrics 👏🏻👏🏻

I’ve been noticed before by Jesse McCartney, Gareth Emery, Tritonal and a few others… Jesse McCartney actually in 2010 said my song “Be With You” was notable on his MySpace blog… Nothing came of it though. Was like my 10 seconds of fame LOL 😂. I had a lot of Jesse fan haters after that…. It’s all good though. I did not write the song for his fans to love me. It was a song I wrote for him out of love for him. (I don’t like to talk about Jesse anymore like I use to but I have mentioned him a couple times)

Concerts: My 1st real concert was in 2000, it was *NSYNC’s no strings attached Haha Got to sit in the nose bleed section. It made the band look like little stick figures hehe Funny stuff… but my favorite concert I’ve EVER been to believe it or not was in 2011, a Christmas band called “Mannheim Steamroller” Wow they are amaaaaaazing. If you love Christmas music, which I dooooooo, they bring nostalgia but have a whole orchestra behind them combined with synthasizers which incorporates my love for pop music too! Sooo good!!!! Another concert I loved was in 2019, Colton Dixon. He’s a Christian rock singer and he has a moment on the piano just of him singing solo and it was beautiful and intimate! It’s moments in music like those that you never forget ❤️👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻🎶

When I make music, it’s always from my heart. I only write about what I can’t say out loud in a normal conversation. I always say the truth, even when it’s hurting me. Music is my escape and always has been. I remember when Jesse McCartney said that one time in like 2009 or something and that resonated with me beyond words. Music has the power to link people together!!!!

You can hear my music on the following platforms: Spotify, SoundCloud and Bandlab. My usernames are songwriter88 and songwriter1988 I was on TikTok but that’s currently a private account for obvious reasons. If you’re a musician like me, share your music with me below 👍🏻 I’m always looking for new songs to add to my faves list!!

A very personal song I wrote in 2021:

[phlistopher]

Media Diet: February–April 2024

It’s been a while since my last media diet post—three months, I was horrified to learn. There’s a lot to get through, so I’m taking a whirlwind tour on this one. There’s no time! Including for any more of this introduction.

Music

David Comes to Life—Fucked Up

I saw Toronto’s own Fucked Up open for The Damned last Halloween, and they were great. Post hardcore blending melodic pop sensibilities with driving guitars and almost cookie monster vocals that honestly took me a bit to get used to. I picked up the album the punks at work recommended I start with, David Comes to Life from 2010. It’s loud, romantic, and, I’m told, a concept album, but I didn’t follow that. It’s so good. Makes you want to jump.

Choice Cut

David Comes To Life by Fucked Up

Scumdogs of the Universe—GWAR

I always knew of GWAR—the space barbarian outfits, the over the top staged violence at shows, randomly being in Empire Records—but I never actually listened to them. When they were a mainstream concern, I was too young and scared to seek them out, but last year I saw them on NPR’s Tiny’s Desk Concert and thought they were fun. I heard Sarah Squirm say she unironically wanted to be in GWAR in an interview, so I asked Uncle Internets which was the best GWAR album, and discovered that the band said they never were better than their second offering, Scumdogs of the Universe. It’s fun! Trashy gross out metal, violent, sex-dumb and cartoonishly nihilistic. There’s a decent amount of language that is not cool, but less than you’d expect from a band with their reputation, for whatever that’s worth.

Choice Cut

Scumdogs of the Universe by GWAR

Celeste—The Soundcarriers

Chill out music with an upbeat groove. Feels like driving through the Italian riviera in a convertible. I’ve never done that, so I can’t possibly know, and yet I have never been more certain of something in my life. The early 60s vocal harmonies meets the late 60s psychedelic vamps meets solid riffs.

Choice Cut

Celeste by The Soundcarriers

Peter Gabriel (Melt)—Peter Gabriel

I visited my friends Jon and Brynn in Massachusetts with my new friend Jon Christian. While we packed records, Jon-the-first put on Peter Gabriel’s third self-titled solo album. Peter Gabriel’s first four albums are self titled, so eye-twitch fans give them nick names from the artwork; in this case, Melt. It’s a fantastic record. Eclectic, weird, surprisingly danceable prog, and the whole thing is catchy. Dig it.

Choice Cut

Electrified Brain—Municipal Waste

Discovered this Virginia metal band from my roommate’s T-shirt: a two headed zombie crawling out of a Superfund swamp. Whip-crack, crunch-ass thrash. No song over three minutes. Blow it up.

Choice Cut

Electrified Brain by Municipal Waste

Big Time—Angel Olsen

I heard the title track on Aquarium Drunkard last year, and finally checked out the full album, from 2022. Wow, I’ve been sleeping on a major work here. Big Time is big emotions—cratered heartbreak, joyful infatuation, complex yearning, nuanced tenderness—wrapped in rock solid, mature songcraft. Angel’s voice has such range; the delicate quiet of a verse exploding into a belted gut rending chorus. Classic structure, timeless execution, modern sensibilities. Country music at it’s finest.

And! She has an EP from last year which I need to listen to. Maybe next month!

Choice Cut

Big Time by Angel Olsen

Blind Melon—Blind Melon

Again while visited Jon and Brynn, Jon threw on Blind Melon, the band’s break out self titled debut from 1992. Everyone knows them as essentially a one hit wonder behind No Rain, but when Jon says a band is worth digging into, he’s usually right. And he is! The album is wall to wall solid jams, and the gone-too-soon Shannon Hoon’s vocals are seriously underrated.

Choice Cut

Tonnes of Home

What Now—Brittany Howard

This is one of those albums I feel I’ll be coming back to over and over, pulling something new each time. It’s so complex, yet accessible, rich and powerful. The exuberance Brittany Howard brings to every naked emotion on this album is stunning. I am having trouble defining the genres this work spans—Funk? Rock? Soul?—and that is a high compliment. Sonically diverse, yet a whole piece that hangs together. I can’t stop listening to it. I liked her first solo effort, Jaime, but I love this one. I ordered the vinyl. Check it out or miss out.

Choice Cut

What Now

Books

Jesus, I barely read anything in three months. I read The Last Colony by John Scalzi, the last in the Old Man’s War trilogy. Fun, but the weakest in the series for me. I don’t think that was the only reason it took me so long to finish—lots of change and settling in to do—but it didn’t help. Still, I did enjoy it. Glad to be on to other books!

TV

Neon Genesis Evangelion

What a wild show. It’s just a ride you need to strap in for, not make sense of. Or, maybe there is a way to? There’s a lot of dense information flying at you a mile a minute, philosophical interrogations on the nature of self, unfortunate early 90s anime horniness, sad broken characters wading through a maelstrom of manufactured symbolism. Oh, and giant robots. I’ve been told it’s a big touch point in the trans community, and that certainly tracks with the themes of self discovery and mutability. Ultimately, I don’t know what I watched, but I enjoyed the experience.

30 Rock

I watched the show during its original run, and not since. It’s been really fun to revisit. The comedy mostly holds up, which is insane, and the characters are so great to revisit. Lots of, “Oh yeah, I kind of remember this!” moments. But of course, it’s all about who you watch it with.

Video Games

The Legend of Zelda: The Minish Cap

I’ve been slowly working my way through this one on my Miyoo Mini. I’ve played most of the Zelda games when they released, starting with A Link to the Past, but this one slipped by me at the time. It’s Capcom, not Nintendo, developed, and you can tell. The quality is still good, but doesn’t have quite the charm and design polish of a Nintendo release. Still, good for when I want to play a game but not have to think too hard or react too fast.

Donkey Kong Country: Tropical Freeze

The opposite of the Minish Cap experience, you do need to react fast. This game is so fun, so well designed, so great to look at, and so hard. But fair! When you die, you’re like, “Yep, that’s on me.” Well, that’s what a person who doesn’t spit expletives at the screen would say. Been playing off and on with my roommates. A+.

Movies

The Novice

Describes the filmmaker. Ya burnt!

No, but seriously, this sucked.

She Came to Me

A good cast (Peter Dinkladge and Marisa Tomei as a romantic interest) plodding through a pretty forgettable love triangle centered on a depressed Dinkladge as a frustrated opera composer. Anne Hathaway melting down later in the movie was pretty fun though.

Twin Dragons

Jackie Chan playing his own twin in a mistaken identity farce? Sounds great! I wish it was!

The Zone of Interest

This is an incredible film that I never want to see again. Even knowing the premise, it creeps up on, lulling you in, only hinting at the horrors. You watch the denial of the characters on screen, as you become invested in their domestic lives, then being jarred back to the truth with subtle prods. And that last scene. Wow. I’ll be thinking about this one for a while.

Knight of Fortune

This was by far the best live action Oscar nominated short. Of course Wes Anderson’s Roald Dahl adaptation won, and all the other’s where some form of student-film-level emotionally manipulative dreck, but Knight of Fortune was seriously good. Heartwarming, funny, believable characters you cared for in emotionally relatable situations. A perfect little slice of life, in a morgue.

Twin Peaks: Fire Walk with Me

I had seen this once before, but this was my first time seeing it in the theater. You know what? It’s different on the big screen. Still weird as hell, and I can’t quite describe it, but I got more feeling out of it in a theater.

Gremlins 2: The New Batch

This movie is a bonkers, gooey, self-satirizing romp. Money is all over the screen. All the puppeteering is amazing. What a good time.

Past Lives

A beautiful slice of life, unafraid of realism, unburdened by immaturity. A tender story about distance and connecting over it, and how that changes with time.

Godzilla: Tokoyo S.O.S.

There’s two six inch fairy twins who tell people about Mothra, who sparkles. A triumph in rubber suit cinema.

Perfect Days

This is one of the best movies I’ve seen in a long while. A patient character study fascinated by nominal space and time. Kōji Yakusho’s performance is so compelling, so convincing, that you’re leaning forward in the quietest moments, pulling meaning from his every move. The movie has a lot to say about jobs. So many of us have jobs that we identify with our selfhood. The janitor character here is meticulous, and cares deeply about his job, but not for anyone other than himself. Words can’t describe. Go see it.

Drive-Away Dolls

The Cohen Brothers are known for their dark comedies, films that move effortlessly between the most grim moment to the funniest. Before the brothers started doing their own films apart, I have rolled my eyes at anyone who suggested that the “grim” and “funny” parts were separated neatly into a single brother, as being too simplistic. That may well be too simplistic, but you wouldn’t know it from the first two movies they made. Joel Cohen’s Hamlet from 2021 was all dour seriousness, excising any levity present in the play, while this year’s lesbian road crime caper Drive-Away Dolls from Ethan Cohen is all cotton candy comedy; all movement, no substance. I enjoyed it, but all the Cohen brother’s signatures where there, minus the emotional impact, so I left feeling nothing.

Gaslight

My second watch of the film, seeing with friends this time. The origin of the term. It’s fantastic. Keeps you guessing. It isn’t Hitchcock.

Some Like It Hot

I’ve seen this a bunch of times, and saw it again with friends. It’s a classic, and is on the AFI list. On this most recent viewing, there’s still a lot to like, mostly in the first third, but it can be hard to look past the dated/sexist attitudes on display.

Rory Scovel: Religion, Sex, and a Few Things in Between

It’s a bit provocative, pretty dirty, and very funny. I don’t remember any bits now though.

Dune: Part Two

I thought it was very pretty to look at, but kind of cold character-wise, and I didn’t end up getting invested. I had seen Part One, and read the book as a teenager. The book I loved, Part One I felt similarly to Part Two. I saw this with my dad, and he said, “You know Chris, I enjoyed it, they did a great job, but you know it was long and with all the action I didn’t understand what was happening.” Wise words, dad.

Love Lies Bleeding

Two lesbian crime movies in as many months? Incredible. This one is a whole A24 80s drug gym rat murder blast. Kristen Stewart at her best. See it with someone good.

Green Porno

Isabella Rossellini’s collection of campy deadpan ecological shorts, each tackling a different animal’s sex life. Rossellini dresses in costume as each animal. You can’t turn away.

Hardware

An unsuccessful post apocalyptic Sci-Fi movie with some odd pacing and some truly troubling side characters, the robot design and animation is pretty great.

Truth or Dare?: A Critical Madness

Masterpiece. One of the movies I’ve seen the most. A perfect comedy. I see you Elijah Wood.

Speed Racer

Pure joy. This movie looks like nothing else. Still ahead of it’s time, this thing is candy that sticks to your ribs. Watchable forever. What are you doing if you haven’t seen this?

We Grown Now

Won a lottery for a free screening. I couldn’t get anyone to go with me, and that was for the best. A story about two young friends growing up Cabrini Green, and the struggles around racism they face. The script didn’t come together for me, the central game and metaphor of jumping in particular feeling like it had nowhere to live in the story (the game also makes no sense? It’s built up as the biggest recess cred-builder, and all it is is jumping onto a mattress. I buy that as a kids game, but one where someone is a legend at it? Or where the mom trots out the cliche of stopping all that jumping nonsense? I digress). As far as Cabrini Green films go, Candyman did it better.

Friday The 13th Part 2

I decided to watch all the Friday the 13th movies. They’re trash, they’re sexist, why even bother, I hear you say. Well, yes. I won’t argue any of that. And yet, I feel culturally compelled to understand this time in horror, this specific run of year after year sequels, this New Jersey killer. Also, my roommate Ivy has the collected Blu Ray box set. Part 2 was fun! Comfortingly trope filled, the teens were, for the most part, legitimately likeable, which is, I’m told, the only time that happens in this franchise.

Friday The 13th Part 3

We almost had the technology to watch this in 3D; we had the 3D Blu Ray, we had the 3D TV, but not the 3D Blu Ray player. Sad times. But, all those times the movie took a break to show shots where a Yo-Yo or a shovel handle pokes at the screen were still funny in 2D. The introduction of the hockey mask. It’s shot in California instead of New Jersey, and you can really tell. The theme song is, once again, incredible. Why does everyone go into the damn barn?

Civil War

Intense movie, great performances, really effecting, predictable but whatever. A movie about journalism, and the effects it has on journalists, and if that matters and is worth the cost.

Friday The 13th: The Final Chapter

Worth the price of admission for Crispin Glover’s dance alone. Tom Savini came back for this one, so the gore effects are good. Corey Feldman runs around. Some cool shots of bursting through glass. Hilarious ending freeze frame.

[protoslacker]

More Piano Jazz

As a personal aside, work at a garden center in late spring gets very hectic. In most of my working career I've been lugging and toting stuff. I am old now and getting tired. It's not just the heavy stuff, it's trying to keep the plants alive and to keep the shelves stocked. Phew, thank goodness for days off!

I love listening to music. But I am quite ignorant about music. But it's fascinating how songs cross myriad human-made boundaries. That quality of music point to music as a collaborative activity. Even  solo musicians hope to connect with people who will listen. Brian Eno coined the word scenius, a word to speak about the collective genius necessary for the creation of art.

My last days off I stumbled upon  a bunch of contemporary piano Jazz trios. I was impressed by the durability of the form and posted links to older trio performances as well as younger ones. Only after posting the links did I notice that there were no women in the group.

Resolving to look for women in Jazz trios there's an issue:  the way this are structured make it harder for women than men in the business of music. Not knowing any contemporary piano Jazz trios, it made sense to look for women in the era when Jazz was more popular.

I hadn't heard of Toshiko Akiyoshi before. Here's a 1956 performances by Toshiko Akiyoshi Trio, Paul Chanbers on bass and Ed Thigpen on drums, of It Could Happen to You, recorded in 1956. Wow! Talk about crossing borders.

Akiyoshi's WW II era connection to Jazz made me think of Marian McPartland. Marian McParland's NPR program started in 1978. She had a radio program at Pacifica Radio with a similar format beginning in 1964.Marian McPartland recorded programs for NPR's Piano Jazz through 2010. Here's the Marian McPartland Trio, Vinne Burke on bass and Joe Morello, on drums on the A-Side of their 'big ten inch'Jazz At The Hickory House in 1953.

McParland's first guest on NPR's Piano Jazz was Mary Lou Williams. Williams grew up in East Liberty, a neighborhood of in Pittsburgh. She's a local legend. A natural for McPartland's first piano Jazz because both women were teachers and promoters of women in the arts. Here is the Mary Lou Williams Trio, Buster Williams on bass and Mickey Rocker on drums, in a 1987 recording of Ode to Saint Cecilie.

A friend in the early 1990s turned me on to Shirley Horn in the 1990s. Horn's  singing and piano performances are truly singular. Watching Youtube videos of performances I appreciated in a way I'd not before the tight collaboration between Shirley Horn with bassist Charles Ables and drummer Steve Williams. This 1999 performance in Sao Paulo of Jobim's How Insensitive took my breath. The videos from the Heineken Concerts 99 are wonderful. I had not heard her trio play Brazilian music before.

One of the boundaries piano Jazz trios cross over are generational. A lot has to do with how important  transmission of the music has been to so many Jazz players. A contemporary coda, here is the Savannah Harris Trio, Savannah Harris on drums, Eliot Seppa on bass and Colin Chambers on piano at the 21st Annual Mary Lou Williams Jazz Festival (2016) at Lincoln Center.

[tiesandtea]

Simon Gilbert

Simon Says

We interviewed Simon Gilbert, Suede’s drummer, whose book So Young: Suede 1991-1993 is a journal and photographic document of the band’s early years that will be published October 8th. So Young has foreword by journalist Stuart Maconie and a vibrant, lively text by Simon himself, documenting his move from Stratford-on-Avon, his hometown, to London, the audition with Suede, life in the van, the early success years and the many amusing things that come with it. It is one of those rare books that make an outsider feel like they were there, in the van. Or in absurd mansions in L.A. belonging to industry types. Or was it record producer(s)?…

The conversation extended to Coming Up, Suede’s third album that turned 25 this year and drumming. Simon’s witty, often, one-liners contrast with my more elaborate questions, proving an interesting insight into our way of writing/replying.

by Raquel Pinheiro

So Young: Suede 1991-1993

What made you want to realease So Young?

I was searching through my archives when researching for the insatiable ones movies and found lots of old negatives and my diaries. They had to be seen.

When and why did you start your Suede archives?

As you can see from the book, it stared from the very first audition day.

From the concept idea to publishing how long did it took you to put So Young together?

30 years … I’ve always wanted to make a book since I was first in a band.

What was your selection process for which items – diary entries, photos, etc.- would be part of the book?

I wanted to form a story visually with a few bits of info thrown in here and there, also most of the photos tie in with pages from the diaries.

Which methods, storage, preservation, maintenance, if at all, do you employ to keep the various materials in your archives in good shape?

Boxes in an attic … one thing about getting the book out is that I don’t have to worry about the photos getting lost forever. It’s out there in a book!

Other than medium what differences existed between selecting material for The Insatiable Ones documentary and for So Young?

Video and photos … photos don’t translate well on a TV screen.

Do you prefer still or motion pictures and why?

I prefer photos … they capture a particular moment in time … as video does, but there’s a unique atmosphere with a photo.

So Young’s cover photo has a very Caravaggio and ballet feeling to it. Its chiaroscuro also contrasts with the images inside.  Why did you choose it for the cover?

It was a striking shot and I wanted the book to be black and dark …it fitted perfectly.

How many of the photos on So Young were taken by you?

Probably about 3/4 my 3 school friends who were there with me at the beginning Iain, Kathy and Phillip took a load of us onstage, backstage, after  the gig, etc., photos I couldn’t take myself.

So Young can be placed alongside books like Henry Rollins’ Get in The Van and Michael Azerrad’s Our Band Could Be Your Life, that not only chronicle and show the less glamorous, more mundane side of being in a band, but also totally immerse the reader so deep in it that we are there, feeling and going through the same things. Was your selection of materials meant to convey that “band being your(our) life” sensation?

Yes, exactly that. I was fascinated by photos of bands, not on the front cover of a magazine or on TV. The other bits of being in a band are far more interesting.

In the foreword, Stuart Maconie mentions the brevity of your diary entries which, as someone who keeps diaries, I immediately noticed. Do you prefer to tell and record a story and events with images?

I haven’t kept a diary since the end of 1993 … looking back on them they can be a bit cringeful … So, yes, I prefer images.

Contrasting with the diary entries brevity your text  that accompanies So Young is lively, witty, detailed and a good description of the struggles of a coming of age, heading towards success, band. Do you think the text and images reveal too much into what it really is like being in a band, destroying the myth a bit?

I think the myth of being in a band is long gone … Reality is the new myth…

In So Young you write that when you first heard Never Mind The Bollocks by The Sex Pistols music was to be your “future dream”. How has the dream been so far?

Still dreaming … lose your dreams and you will lose your mind … like Jagger said.

Is there a reason why So Young only runs from 1991 to 1993?

Yes, I bought a video camera in 1993. It was so much easier filming everything rather than take a photo, wait 3 weeks to get it developed and find out it was blurred.

So Young has a limited deluxe numbered and signed edition already sold out. The non deluxe edition also seems to be heading the same way. How important is it for you to keep a close relationship with the fans?

So important. I love interacting with the fans and is so easy these days … I had to write replies by hand and post them out in 1993…

Playing Live Again & Coming Up

Before Suede’s concert at Qstock Festival in Oulu, Finland on 31.07.2021 you wrote on your social media “cant fucking wait dosnt come close!!!!!” and Mat [Osman, Suede’s bassist] on his “An honest-to-goodness rehearsal for an honest-to-goodness show. Finally”. How did it feel like going back to play live?

It was great. Heathrow was empty which was amazing. A bit strange to play for the first time after 2 years …., but great to get out again.

Coming Up was released 25 years ago. How does the record sound and seems to you now compared with by then?

I haven’t listened to it for a long time actually … love playing that album live … some great drumming.

Before the release of Coming Up fans and the press were wondering if Suede would be able to pull it off. What was your reaction when you first heard the new songs and realize the album was going in quite a different direction than Dog Man Star?

Far too long ago to remember.

Coming Up become a classic album. It even has its own Classical Albums documentary. Could you see the album becoming a classic by then?

I think so yes .. there was always something to me very special about that album.

Is it different to play Coming Up songs after Suede’s return? Is there a special approach to concerts in which a single album is played?

No … didn’t even need to listen to the songs before we first rehearsed … They’re lodged in my brain.

Which is your Coming Up era favourite song as a listener and which one do you prefer as a drummer?

The Chemistry Between Us.

Will the Coming Up shows consist only of the album or will B-sides be played as well?

Definitely some B-sides and some other stuff too.

Simon & Drumming

If you weren’t a drummer how would your version of “being the bloke singing at the front” be like?

Damned awful … I auditioned as a singer once, before I started drumming … It was awful!

In his book Stephen Morris says that all it takes to be a drummer is a flat surface and know how to count. Do you agree?

No.

Then, what makes a good drummer?

Being in the right band.

Topper Headon of the Clash is one of your role models. Who are the others?

He is, yes … fantastic drummer.

Charlie Watts is the other great …and Rat Scabies … superb.

She opens with drums so does Introducing the band. Your drumming gives the band a distinctive sound. How integral to Suede’s sound are the drums?

Well, what can I say … VERY!

Do you prefer songs that are driven by the drums or songs in which the drums are more in the background?

Bit of both actually … I love in your face stuff like She, Filmstar …, but ikewise, playing softer stuff is very satisfying too.

You’re not a songwriter. How much freedom and input do you have regarding drum parts?

If the songs needs it, I’ll change it.

Do you prefer blankets, towels or a pillow inside the bass drum?

Pillows.

Do you use gaffer tape when recording? If so, just on the snare drum or also on the toms? What about live?

Lots of the stuff … gaffer tape has been my friend both live and in the studio for 30 years.

What is the depth of your standard snare drum and why?

Just got a lovely 7-inch Bog wood snare from Repercussion Drums … sounds amazing. It is a 5000 year old Bog wood snare.

Standard, mallets, rods or brushes?

Standard. I hate mallets and rods are always breaking after one song. Brushes are the worst …no control.

How many drum kits have you owned? Of those, which is your favourite?

5 … my fave is my DW purple.

How long to you manage without playing? Do you play air drums?

7 years 2003 – 2010 … and never.

Can you still assemble and tune your drum kit?

Assemble, yes …tune no …have never been any good at that.

You dislike digital/electronic drum kits, but used one during the pandemic. Did you become more found of them?

Still hate them … unfortunately,  they are a necessary evil.

When you first joined Suede you replaced a drum machine. Would it be fair to say you didn’t mind taking its job?

Fuck him!

Brett [Anderson, Suede’s singer] as described the new album as “nasty, brutish and short”. How does that translates drums wise?

Very nasty brutish and short.

When researching for the interview I come across the statement below on a forum: “If you’re in a band and you’re thinking about how to go about this, get every player to come up with their own track list & have a listening party. I’ve done this, not only is it great fun, it’s also massively insightful when it comes to finding out what actually is going on inside the drummer’s head!”. What actually is going on inside the drummer’s head?

Where’s my fucking lighter!

And what is going on inside the drummer as a documentarist head? How does Simon, the drummer, differs from Simon, the keen observer of his own band, bandmates, fans, himself, etc.?

There is no difference … I’m Simon here there and everywhere…

What would the 16 years old Simon who come to London think of current Simon? What advice would you give to your younger self?

Don’t smoke so much you fool!

[ectoplasmer]

Roll it eight times! Two for each of the boys, maybe? 👀 🎲

— @amys-cringe-cabinet 💙

*snatches this up and runs with it*

!!!! thank you for sending an ask!! I’m apologizing in advance for the responses that may or may not be incoherent-

I’ll be going alphabetically by canonical names!! please don't feel like you have to read all of this, it’s basically all me just gushing, and I just now noticed how concerningly long some of these responses are on my part... oops ^^;

For Marik, I rolled…

6 ~ i s there a song or piece of music that reminds you of your f/o?

i could answer this in like fifty different ways; I associate Marik with obscure indie songs from early 2010s, i associate him with angsty as all heck punk songs, i associate him with preppy pop songs. I think he’s been through so much already that I want to associate him with upbeat songs because I think he deserves it, but it’s because of how much he’s been through that I’ll always draw back to slow tempo tunes. I think Marik would enjoy a lot of different genres once he gets the chance to focus on something that isn’t killing the Pharaoh; he’s spent more than half his life below ground, away from society and pop culture and media altogether. I genuinely believe he might even listen to static for fun just because he’s able to. I have a few different songs that actually remind me of him (and a whole playlist) but I swear they change on a day to day basis. I think the one I associate Marik the most (as of right now) would be Muddy Knees by Days N Daze (partially because i’m projecting). But along with that, Abbey by Mitski reminds me of him, Welcome Home by Radical Face, 12 Feet Deep by The Front Bottoms- I could go on. if anyone is curious, I have a public playlist for him on spotify!! it’s under his full name, posted by the account destinyboard!! (yes i name most of my accounts after bakura’s cards. i have no explanation)

5 ~ what’s your ideal date with your f/o? 

(this could admittedly apply to any of my f/os!!)

While going to a sit down restaurant or a concert or something does sound nice, I… don’t do too well in public spaces ^^; my ideal of a relationship is literally just being able to sit in silence and still feel comfortable, like I’m not letting things simmer in awkwardness. Therefore, I think my ideal date would just be us staying at home and finding things to do. Put something into the oven for dinner, play chess while we wait. Later on try to see who can get the farthest in a game of Minesweeper, bake cookies, maybe even do each other’s nails because of course Marik would learn how to do them, somewhere down the line. I’m a sucker for doing mundane things because I’d be doing mundane things with him, and being able to do anything with him makes me more of a hopeless romantic. Just being able to sit down and watch a movie with any of them makes me hopeless at the thought. I’ve recently been watching old Disney movies with Marik specifically, because I think it processed somewhere in my mind that he never got to watch them when he was younger. And he never got a chance to do a lot of things that I did in my childhood. There’s so many experiences and core memories that he didn’t really get to have since his role as a tomb keeper was more pressing. I want to find a way to make up for this (if there even is a way), so movies and these ordinary activities can try and fill the gap for now!! I think Marik’s favorite Disney movie we’ve watched so far has been Lady and the Tramp; usually him and yb will make snarky comments over how cheesy the story lines are, but he seemed more or less engaged in the story this time around. He kept making comments about the art and songs, smiled like a doof at the spaghetti scene, etc etc. Maybe it’s partially because it was late at night this time around, but it was really nice to see him so enamored in the story. I think he deserves it.

i just went completely off topic but—!!!! anyway yeah that’s. what goes through my brain. movie nights….. <33

For Ryou, I rolled…

10 ~ would you and your f/o ever dress up in a couples costume for Halloween or other events? what would you dress up as?

I used to look at questions like this and shrug. I’m not big on costumes, and I haven’t consumed too much media where characters are in iconic duos or pairs. Most of them are really obscure, and “dressing” up as them doesn’t exactly work, since they usually have every day clothing as their main or well known outfits. I did do some thinking on it a while back, and I think I came up with something after a bit. I think a big thing me and Ryou share in common is a love for the occult or traditionally “spooky” things, and although it isn’t as obvious on this blog that I have a love for horror movies (*glances at the stack of dvds in the corner of my room*), I believe that’s another thing we have in common! So if we were to do a “couples costume” for Halloween, I’m pretty sure we’d go in matching Ghostface costumes!!! It's as close to a duo as I could think of, since in all of the Scream movies (minus Scream 3) there were two killers. I could also, technically, try and convince him to let us go as Tommy Ross and Carrie White (ryou in a tux...... *falls over*).

14 ~ what’s one of the sweetest things your f/o has ever done for you?

existed /hj

It's not really one thing he's done, it's a thing he keeps doing and has made into a habit. Sometimes I get really carried away with things like writing debate cases and speeches, since they're responsibilities I feel like I need to constantly be working on or practicing. It's led to me staying up at somewhat unhealthy times and getting stressed over things that really don't need to be stressed over. I think I broke out in hives for three days straight because of it (apparently stress hives are a thing??? odd). Whenever it's late and I'm still working on these things, Ryou simply just walks over to wherever I'm sitting, watches, and eventually recommends that I should get to bed, because he knows how much harder everything seems to me when I'm tired. I guess the others do this too, but there's just a certain way to how he does it, always in a gentle matter. The way he phrases it, and how he waits until I'm at an okay place to stop working, makes me feel better in some weird way. He knows that I care a lot about these things, and even though he sees that it can get me really worked up, he still waits until an appropriate time to recommend I stop and work on it later. I just think it's really nice how he knows me and my habits, and how he tries his best to work around them with me. While it might be only a few words that he says to try and persuade me to get some rest, he almost always gets me to put down everything on the first try. (plus, he knows that I know the sooner he gets me to bed the sooner I can snuggle him into oblivion. his way of convincing is very effective. how dare he.)

For Bakura, I rolled…

18 ~ is there a height difference between you and your f/o? 

!!! yes!! it’s not a very big one though, only about five inches. I’m 5’4 and he’s 5’9 (and if we’re dragging tkb into this, he’s only 5’6). I don’t really think that height means all that much to me though. I don’t really expect him to be able to pick me up (I don’t think Ryou’s body has that ability-), and I could still glomp him even if he was shorter!! Though I suppose a plus of it is that whenever we’re just sitting on the couch or whatever, just sitting next to each other or holding each other or whatever other insanely out of character thing he does when we just hang out in silence, I get reminded that I’m really not as (metaphorically) big as I think I am. While I do have a decent amount of responsibilities and things I need to uphold (school…. bleh), I think I need to remember sometimes that I can’t always be on top of things 24/7, and that I can take a break sometimes. It’s nice to feel that there’s someone else who can take care of you, or hold you when you feel tired enough. It’s definitely something that comforts me at random times when I think about it enough <3

also i could totally topple him over if i tried hard enough AND getting to be held by him is really nice so yeah the (small) height difference is pretty cool in my opinion

4 ~ what’s your favourite outfit your f/o has ever worn? 

kicking my legs in the air and screaming into a pillow like a hopeless romantic brb

Bakura only has like… four different outfits throughout all of the series, two of which aren’t even that different from each other. While Battle City will always have my heart over everything in the series, my favorite (canonical) outfit yb has ever worn has got to be his outfit in Millennium World!! Like?? It’s the only outfit he has that actually attempts to bring across his edginess. How could I not love it??? Also some of the panels he has while wearing it make me skfjfkfnfkfn *falls over*

it’s also really fun to steal it occasionally, but don’t tell him I said that.

For Melvin, I rolled…

2 ~ do you remember the first time you met your f/o? what was it like?

I’ve apparently been watching ygo since I was like. six. But I obviously did not remember too much of it!! So I might’ve already watched some of the episodes including Melv and they’ve been just completely buried in my brain, ORRR this summer was the first time I’ve ever “met” him!! Even then, I don’t really remember all that much, since I watched everything up to season four within like. A week. That’s me blowing things out of proportion but I still kinda just rushed through episodes!! I do remember not caring much for Marik in general when he was introduced to the show; I pretty much believed he’d just be another run of the mill villain that didn’t have a too intriguing reason for being one. It wasn’t until the Rishid and Jounouchi duel that I actually started caring at all for the character as a whole (still haven’t recovered from any of the flashback sequences). I think when the whole reveal scene happened, I don’t think I really reacted at all?? I mean I was obviously intrigued, but at the same time I’d downed all of season two within a few days of finishing season one, so I hadn’t even processed whether or not ym was a spirit like the other two or just some guy. I do, however, remember being low key annoyed with his character. like sir… please…. Take a chill pill. Does not help that I was watching the 4kids dub, so most of his “serious” lines were instantly thrown off by the voice effects.

However, I did eventually give him another chance while reading the manga. I think that gave me a chance to look at him with a different perspective; I could take my time and easily call back to certain parts of the story to see how he acts, the way he phrases things, how he interacts with specific characters, etc., and I did some thinking (as I always do). I sat down for a bit, and reread some scenes, and ranted to my friend about certain points that caught my eye, just to try and fix the kinks and knots in my thinking. I started seeing ym as more than some cheesy and over the top antagonist, and more for what he really was. And I guess that counts as some sort of first encounter. While I’m still kinda shaky on my feelings with him, and trying to find my footing with how exactly I see him, we’re taking it one step at a time and it’s been really nice so far. I hope that, eventually, I’ll be more confident in that :)!!!

15 ~ what’s your favourite memory you’ve made with your f/o so far?

so many of these just blur into the rest of my day; I day dream enough that I don’t remember too many specific ones. But I do remember one, back when I first started trying to connect with him. He was much more closed off than he is as of now; he kinda got thrown back into existence after being ultimately destroyed for a considerable amount of time, I don’t think I blame him for not wanting to talk too often. Usually, whenever I did try to spend time with him, it was a lot of just him observing things I was doing, or me trying to fill the silence by talking about random things. One day he eventually responded, but seemed more confused than anything. He asked me why I was even trying to get to know him, why I was even trying to be near him in the first place. I’ve seen the things he’s done, the way he’s acted and how he’s treated people. Why do I want to get near that? I still don’t have a hold on exactly why, but I took a moment to answer him. I told him it’s because I know he’s more than what he’s made up of, that he’s been through the same things as Marik had, that I wanted to understand him better because some of his actions never clicked for me. They didn’t line up in certain places, or he seemed so peculiar in how he handled things. While he was the manifestation of the frustration and upset and hate Marik had, stuck underground and tied to some destiny he didn’t even want, Melvin himself came into existence as a safety net for him, in some way. I told him it’s because I think he’s capable of exuding and expressing things that aren’t just what he was made from, that I know he’s completely different from Marik in many ways and maybe that’s why I want to know him, he’s someone completely different and so confusing and I want to get to know every part of that confusion. That I want to help him experience things he might never have gotten to experience and make him see that he is his own person, separate of Marik. He just scoffed at me, and told me in this tone that I still swear was affectionate that I must’ve really been hopeless.

That was the same day we decided to start referring to him as Melvin, I think. We had already been switching between Malik, Mariku, etc., and even though it’s a ygotas reference, Melvin was different enough from Marik that we settled on it for his name. Even though it’s origins are, admittedly, cheesy, I think it works pretty well for him :)

[pandaponderart]

UNDERRATED ARTISTS & BANDS PART 1

Hello, Welcome to this weeks blog post, this week I’m talking about some music that should be in you eardrums, criminally underrated artists and bands that deserve more recognition and attention. This is not your mainstream list of artists everyone knows, but they could become your new favorite. If people like this I’ll make more parts, well I probably will make more anyways and hope people like it. So I hope you guys find some new favorites and add these to your playlists!. Also for this list it’s going to be more of the pop punk/rock and a little bit of indie mixed in there more genres next time!

1. The Technicolors 🌹

This band deserves your attention because number one, they’re one of the best live bands I’ve ever seen, I had never heard of them before when I saw them in 2015 for This Century’s last show and I was completely won over. I was won over by their stage presence, their energy and their songs. I immediately bought their ep Ultraviolet Disguise after the show And I’ve been hooked every since. To me they incorporate elements of more classic rock, infused with alternative and Brit Rock. They have a really original sound, especially with vocalist Brennan Smiley voice, plus he has one of the coolest last names!. One of the most underrated artists from the 8123 family, also if your a fan of This Century their guitarist Sean Silverman joined after they split. So do yourself a favor and add some Technicolor to your music library.( sorry for the bad pun had to do it)

Favorite Albums: Metaphysical and Ultraviolet Disguise(EP)

Favorite Songs: Tonight You Are Mine, Heavy Leather, Little Charmer, 26 On a Tuesday, Sweet Time, Hollywood, Space Cadet

FFO: The Maine, This Century, Vista Kicks, HUNNY, Beach Weather

2. This Century 🎹🔥

Should have been a clue since I talked about them a lot with The Technicolors, but these guys truly never got the attention they deserved. They always sounded like they could fit on the radio and should have been as popular as similar bands in their genre. I became a fan after their first album Sound of Fire, then went back to their old ep’s and I was sold on their sound. They lost me a little bit when they stayed from their pop rock sound into more of the pop side of their sound,but won me back with unfortunately their last album Soul Sucker. Their one band I’m still sad that they broke up in 2015 I saw them live a few times and met them too, always put on great shows and were really nice guys. If your a fan of 2000’s pop rock don’t miss out, it would be a loss of the century!(sorry I’m a corny person).

Favorite Albums: Sound of Fire, Soul Sucker, To Love and Back(EP)

Favorite Songs: Sound Of Fire, Young and Useless, To Love and Back, Hopeful Romantic, Do It To Me, Soul Sucker, Heaven, To Cruel, Slow Dance Night

FFO: A Rocket To The Moon, Artist Vs Poet, The Maine, Every Avenue, The Summer Set

3. Beach Weather ☀️🏝

Sadly one of the most short lived bands on this list, they were only active for a few years and released a few ep’s. I had no idea who Beach Weather was when I saw them open for The Maine on their American Candy album cycle tour in 2015. But they were another case of falling in love with them after I saw them. They have a very bright summery sound, and if you like A Rocket to The Moon this was Nick Santino’s new band. I wish they would have been around long enough to release a full length record but glad we got what we did.

Favorite Album: What a Drag(EP)

Favorite Songs: New Skin, Swoon, Rebel Sun, Sex, Drugs, Etc, Tremors

FFO: A Rocket To The Moon, COIN, Flor, Vacation Manor, HUNNY

4. Peach Pit 🍑

Going more into the indie rock side of my music taste, a newer discover for me Peach Pit. The first song I heard was Sweet FA from their EP with the same name, I loved their chill, indie summer like vibe but they differentiate themselves from other bands with a sound that’s unique to them. I don’t know what it is but they somehow make super mellow music that’s still equally as catchy, and doesn’t lose your interest, you just vibe along with them. Their music is as sweet as as a peach!

Favorite Albums: Being So Normal, Sweet FA(EP)

Favorite Songs: Drop The Guillotine, Alrighty Aphrodite, Tommy’s Party, Peach Pit, Sweet FA, Seventeen, Shampoo Bottles

FFO: Wallows, Declan McKenna, Hippo Campus, Kid Bloom, Sure Sure

5. Anarbor 🌵

Now for the last but absolutely not as all least, my favorite band of the entire list, the most underrated and under appreciated band that has always deserved better, Anarbor. Despite their name they‘re from Arizona, actually every band except for Peach Pit is (they’re from Canada!). I‘m pretty sure I became a fan sometime around 2010 around the time their first album The Words You Don’t Swallow, and after hearing their song The Brightest Green. That song came off their EP Free Your Mind and I have to say both of these releases are flawless. I’ve seen them multiple times in concert and will go see them anytime their in town and they are the nicest guys!. All these years of them being a band I’ve never understood why they weren’t bigger, their vocalist and bassist Slade Echeverria has one of my favorite voices, their songs are catchy and infectious they deserve to be huge. They have been making music since 2003, they have 3 albums, 3 EP’s and although the bands lineup has changed throughout the years they’ve been releasing singles!. If you only listen to one band from this this do yourself a favor and listen to Anarbor they deserve all the success in the world.

Favorite Albums: The Words You Don’t Swallow, Free Your Mind(EP),

Favorite Songs: (To list a few there’s a lot) The Brightest Green, Always Dirty, Never Clean, Passion For Publication, Contagious, Let The Games Begin, Gypsy Women, Carefree Highway, Useless

FFO: Go Radio, All Time Low, Mayday Parade, Forever The Sickest Kids

[twelvedaysinaugust]

I suggest you do leave it behind! I did. I still go into my blog to stalk fandom when I get bored, just cus. When I say leave it all behind- I mean leave FANDOM behind , I don’t mean stop being a fan. You CAN still enjoy Louis and his music and his cute personality and his pretty face and how he is on stage, without being a Stan. I saw him in Cincinnati yesterday, best gig I’ve been to in ages! And I think it’ll only get better from here. I saw 1D live in 2013, and that’s something that I will carry with me for life because it’s just such a happy memory, those boys meant everything to teenage me. Tbh, they always will. I even saw Harry in 2017, had a blast. No regrets. I personally dislike him these days(and have for a while) so I just ignore his existence now, don’t get involved in any rad or larry drama, even if I was a sort of a rad after being a larrie for 6 years. I was a super hardcore larrie during the band, had a decent size blog and everything. Now looking back… I’m truly not sure if the babygate theory is yk- babygate. Bc I just don’t think it would last this long. Louis claims F as his. But It’s just all so confusing.

Nowadays… fandom just isn’t fun like it used to be. There’s serious discourse on subjects we truly know nothing about. I don’t doubt ALL(larrie, rad, solo harrie/anti Louis, even directioner) blogs are manipulative to an extent. The only part of fandom I partake in is reading fics and, like I said, catching up with Louis (and sometimes Niall) on here. Like you, I know a lot but am certain of very little because louis’ personal life is SO confusing. We don’t know shit. We probably won’t for a very long time. Just wait for LT2 and enjoy that(if it ends up being your music taste), we can’t know the full narrative of the kind of person he truly is, especially w all the fandom theories. He’s a multimillionaire- I’m sure he’ll be fine w less stans and more casual fans. We don’t need to have a parasocial relationship w him.

I don’t think Eleanor is his long term monogamous partner, and I can’t be convinced unless they get married and pop out babies or something. And you’ll never convince me larry wasn’t real at one point… u just won’t. At the very least I’m sold on 2010-2013 larry. His sexuality is also something that confuses me. And larry post 2014 confuses me even more. I hope they are together and happy, and by they I mean Louis and whoever his partner is. If it’s Harry, great! They made it. Good for them. If it’s Eleanor, I’m very confused, but good for them. The details are so convoluted that, no matter what side you’re on, you can’t make conclusions that have no plot holes. And that applies even more to babygate. I’ll always believe Louis is a good person at heart, he’s shown it in the smallest and simplest of ways. He’s never shown to be the type to do bad things for fame or do bad things w/o reason, even if he’s not perfect, I’m certain of that. But I also don’t know the full extent of anything in his personal life. Especially his paternity and relationship w his son. And tbh - idc anymore. I wish everyone a good and happy life as long as they deserve it. And i will simply buy/ listen/ support a career if I think it’s quality work. 4/5 solos(sorry Liam) are quality work. And yes, even if I dislike Harry, I stream some of his songs bc they’re good songs w next level production. Even if 1D weren’t such decent boys, I would’ve still seen them in concert, cus midnight memories and four slapped. It’s so much better when you seperate the art from the artist, believe me, you’ll be thankful when you leave fandom behind! I’d tell this to larries and some rads even, but we both know they don’t listen.

Thank you for taking the time to send this. Everything, everything you said resonated. I wish you all the best.

[oneweekoneband]

her Nebraska (1982)

In July I flew to Massachusetts with a plague on, and I felt that it was wrong, but my mother had begged and I’d been out of work for months. Mornings there I ran in long, uneven ovals on the same roads I’d memorized in high school. There’s no sidewalks, but the few feet of dirt between the craggy pavement and the open mouths of the fields serve all right for a single body in motion. When a truck comes up close from behind, the ground shakes, and I step away bouncingly from the street toward thigh-high yellow weeds and grass, and keep going. I was slowly picking my way back in that dirt, sweat-slick from only a plodding couple of miles in peak summer heat, and sucking the wet cotton of my mask in between my teeth on every inhale, when Taylor Swift announced she was releasing a surprise album produced by the guy from The National. Not the guy from The National, like, the voice, but the guy from The National whose photo was circulated on Twitter earlier this year as some kind of antifa super soldier, which isn’t the case, but would’ve been rad. First, I stopped dead to send some outraged, misspelled text messages, and then I ran home faster than I’d moved in years.

Tall, blonde, patrician pop star Taylor Swift is to me something like a cross-between a wife and a boogeyman. Bound we’ve been since we were really children. Time and its changes haven’t rid me of her, and what’s worse is I have never quite been able to wish they would, though I claim as much all the time. Countless hours of my one wild and precious life have been spent on endlessly analyzing the minutiae of Taylor Swift’s music, the mind that made it, the real world events which influenced it. And though all the while I have known she is only a person, and that people, while each strange and lovely in their own ways, are, in the end, mostly dull, needful in just the regular manner, the fantasy is better, the sick dream of a megalomaniac songstress, curious, thrilling, probably evil, and I choose that. I don’t know Taylor Alison Swift, born to this world in, I presume, the usual way. But my Taylor Swift? I’m a renowned expert. I’ve always eaten up stories—movies, music, celebrity news, the one my grandfather tells about falling off his bike once in Ireland as a boy and his face “cracking open like an egg”—like a starved dog. I’m obsessive about my interests, but not inclined to intense fandom, and certainly not fandom in the mode of the stan. For one, I’m too self-absorbed. But caring intensely for a famous person is falling in love with a ghost, and that’s all right—I mean, what the hell? We’re here together just dying... Let’s enjoy—but is an affair best undertaken with the knowledge that everyone alive has their own complex interiority, as unruly as your own, and that you, a stranger, are not in any real way connected to the lawless, blurry middle of that celebrity, and will never be. It’s freeing and fun to know this. I mean, these people are basically in your employ. Glamorous dollhouse dwellers. Acknowledging that uncrossable distance allows for a different, healthier closeness of pure imagination. My feelings, then, can comfortably be at once both fiercely intense and entirely silly. I am a foremost scholar in the art of the Taylor Swift who exists in my head. The real person raised in Pennsylvania I don’t know at all. I have some conjectures on the matter, and, as with all my conjectures, every hackneyed theory, each picky little opinion, I’m sure they’re perfect, brilliant, just absolutely right, but that’s still all they are. Taylor Swift, figure of the cultural imagination, is the Jodie Comer to my Sandra Oh in Killing Eve, annoying and pretty in frills, taunting me endlessly and holding us trapped together in a dance of most enchanting death. But the real Taylor Swift has favorite bed sheets and a social security number and a British boyfriend, none of which I have any desire to know about, and if I saw her at a restaurant I’d politely avert my eyes before, yes, dive-bombing the group text. There’s nobody on Earth I’d stand in line to speak to, but then I’ve been speaking to a certain figment of Taylor Swift for nearly half my life.

I went to a Taylor Swift concert the night before I moved into college in 2009. My father’s work friend, firefighter by day, near professional gambler by night, got comped tickets to the Fearless Tour stop taking place at the nearby casino, and he let me have them as a reward, mainly, for happening to be seventeen. Live in-person and performed acoustically, “Fifteen” made me cry. A few years after that, in the thick, sticky part of my first post-college summer, I wrote approximately twenty-three million words about her in these very pages.  (”Pages”) At that point, Taylor’s most recent release was 2012’s Red, and the work I produced that long ago July about Taylor and her career, writing I was fairly pleased with at the time, feels now, besides just being extremely clearly written by a twenty-one year old, strange to me for the way it favors the sweet over the sour almost uniformly. There is a wholesome kind of ardor in that writing which maybe I’ve outgrown the ability to hold. Or maybe Taylor just proceeded to spend the next half a decade plus releasing one bad single after another, and it was taste—and trespasses against taste—and not some shift in my nature which altered the tenor of our bond. I have real love for my particular image, gleaned from public statements and published art, of smart, bizarre famous woman Taylor Swift, and I admire the bulk of her output very much. I’m just no longer so inclined to fawn. This is not to say I am here to offer a Taylor Swift hate screed. I couldn’t swing it, and, anyway, I’m not a pop feminist-for-hire circa 2010. But we’re older now. Things are different. At twenty-eight, twenty-nine this month—Taylor will, also this December, turn thirty-one—I regard Taylor Swift warily, like an ex with whom you have a tentative friendship, perpetually on the brink of falling one way or the other into hatred or delight, only to wobble back the opposite direction again at the slightest provocation, but still, despite best efforts, even, I regard her all the time. 

folklore was released at midnight on July 24th 2020, but I was at a cabin in rural Vermont without Internet or cell service. I drank Bud Light seltzers with my mother while watching the eerie pandemic return of Major League Baseball, and when I got into a strange bed there I stewed, knowing there were people out in the world all over who were hearing Taylor Swift songs I never had, and that this was a fundamental wrong, a disruption in the balance of the universe. I listened to it the next morning in a Dunkin’ Donuts parking lot. 

And folklore is great. That’s the terrible thing. Slightly less great, maybe, than some people have insisted, tricked, I think, by just the pronounced shift in sound. But it’s great. A little gift I asked for a thousand times and was still surprised to get, like a wife who didn’t expect her henpecked husband to ever follow through and buy the paraffin wax hand bath as-see-on-TV. For years, I’ve been halfheartedly insisting that Taylor had a great album in her. I’d say it even, perhaps especially, while she stubbornly fed me gruel. Or worse, gruel with the occasional whiff of something better. With a ripe, little raspberry dropped into the slop. The bright, villainous thrill of “Getaway Car” made me believe Taylor, my Taylor, was in there somewhere under the lacquer of sequins and synth, which, while not objectionable by default, seemed a costume, and an ill-fitting one. The lived-in world of “Cornelia Street” made those old scars sting. That gay “Delicate” video. When she did “Call It What You Want” on SNL and played guitar while wearing an ugly sweater. If the abominable “ME!”, lead single off Lover, was the stick, 1989’s “Clean” was the carrot. I was Charlie Brown, and Taylor my Lucy, yanking the football back again and again. Over drinks I still yelled that Taylor Swift’s next album would be, “her Nebraska”, referring to my favorite Bruce Springsteen record, and learned to live with that egg on my face for good. I suppose I even came to like it. There was something inherently funny in taking up, like, “blind faith in the as of yet untapped greater artistic potential of massively wealthy and popular singer Taylor Swift” as my totally inane personal cause du jour, and eventually it was a bit, a gag I performed to be obstinate and didactic, but way down somewhere awful near my kidneys I meant it the whole while. And then she did it. A pandemic befell the world and amid a sea of human suffering Taylor Swift remembered she can write. She wrote, and with a massive, crucial assist from Aaron Dessner, whose music on this record is sometimes so beautiful it actually angers me, as the last thing I needed in already perilous times was to be made to try and marry my uniquely perverse emotional responses to beloved divorced dad band The National and fucking Taylor Swift,  she made an album which, if not her Nebraska, per se (I’ve come to realize that a major part of believing Taylor Swift will one day make an album I find as quietly devastating and gorgeous as Nebraska is knowing that no album will ever actually be Her Nebraska... That each will, rather, to me, be more and more evidence that it’s coming still, more proof that the limit is untouched, on and on ad infinitum, or at least until the seas take us into a place of salty peace.) is a shocking credit to all my hard-fought and deluded confidence. folklore is great. This fact has made me feel almost equally as disoriented from my understanding of the world as the time-melting COVID-19 lockdowns have, and it turned my Spotify year in review annual collective AI humiliation kink thing into a glaring indictment of my mental state, but still, I mean... It’s great.

In talking about folklore a bit this week, there are a number of specific topics I intend to cover—what a thrill it is to hear Taylor say “fuck”; Taylor’s terrifying birth chart; the astoundingly perfect bridge of “the last great american dynasty”; “because my ass is located at the back of my body”; the bit in last year’s “Lover” where deranged WASP Taylor Swift implies that to “leave the Christmas lights up til January” is some signifier of being a love-struck bohemian, when actually everyone who doesn’t employ domestic staff to take their lights down does this; how reputation is the best of the Taylor Swift records released in the latter half of the 2010s, actually, and the people who can’t see that are cowards—but intend mostly to let the muse move me where she will. Against the advice of my better angels, she—that tie-in marketing eldritch terror—always does.

[platypanthewriter]

Fic Writer Question Meme!

I got tagged by @ihni, @callieb​, and @magniloquent-raven​, probably because I haven’t blown up their inboxes in like a week and it’s a way of reaching through Tumblr and checking my pulse!  XD  THANKS GUYS it was fun reading yours!

How many works do you have on AO3?

I have forty works on Ao3...but a couple of them are compilations of separate, finished fics?  If I broke those up, it would be 71 stories.  Mostly Harringrove.  Huh, that is a bigger number than I expected.  Oh!  Wait!  My other account (my weird porn practice account) has seven works, so I have 78 works on Ao3!  I am glad my FF.net fics are disregarded here XD XD XD

What’s your total AO3 word count? 

705,045 on my main account + 38,466 on my secret porny account (sssh it’s secret) gives us 743,511!  From just this year, it’s (combined) 466,978.  I have a full-time temp job through November, so that will probably taper off!

How many fandoms have you written for and what are they?

Ten fandoms on Ao3, though the two Superbat fics always get weird because one is from watching the animated series, and one is making fun of the DCU, so they come up as different fandoms.  Doesn’t look that impressive, laid out like that!  A lot of my wordcount is my monster fic Strangest, at nearly 200k. 

I’ve also got several Gundam Wing WIPs on FF.net that I wrote in like 2001 and posted in 2010.  My favorite fic there got deleted in the purge and I have no copy...*sob* *wail*  It was so funny, darn it!  I bet it wouldn’t read the same to me now, but I wish I could find out!

What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

Baby's First Punk Rock Concert (Harringrove) is my top fic, which I credit MAINLY to @gravegroves​ art, because it was middle of the crowd until then!  It’s an AU where Billy’s mom gets him away from Neil and moves to Chicago, where he runs into Will at a very gay punk rock concert in 1984, and keeps an eye on him.  Will introduces him to Steve.

Blind as a Bat (Batman: The Animated Series) comes in second.  It led for a long time due to the age and size of the Batman fandom, but our boys Steve and Billy stole the show at last!  It’s a 5+1 fic where Superman tries to confess to Batman and Batman assumes he’s possessed, or mind-controlled, or something.  Superman nearly tears his hair out in frustration.

Strangest (Harringrove) down to third!  Oh, my heart!  My nearest and dearest knocked from first place!  My first and favorite Harringrove fic, a fixit I started in a rage after finishing season two.  After the night Bob dies, Steve finds Billy in the trunk where Max left him, and they come to a sort of truce, then friendship, and then more.

Five Conversations That Probably Happened, and One That Didn't (Teen Wolf, Sterek)  My first Sterek fic!  I suspect the only reason I have three fics with more kudos than this juggernaut of a fandom is that I wrote this as missing scenes, and it really makes more sense in and around the show.  Just reading it by itself is probably confusing...

Birdwatching for Dummies (Stranger Things) Max sees something lingering around the Hargrove house, and calls Steve in for demodog backup.  In the couple days he’s parked outside, he finds out a lot about Billy, and Billy finds out a lot about Steve.

Do you respond to comments, why or why not?

I always reply to comments, though I may wait a few days until I have time to think about replies, or sometimes I use them as a reward to get myself to finish a chapter!  I want to thank people who are sweet enough to come up with something to say about my writing and tell me, even if it’s a keysmash or a smiley.  =D

What’s the fic you’ve written with the angstiest ending?

Hrm.  I mostly write about characters working through things or getting their lives together, so a fic where they didn’t do that would be kind of unsatisfying, I think?  My fics aren’t uncomplicatedly fluffy, but I think all the endings are happy or at least hopeful--with the possible exception of the 5+1 Teen Wolf fic, where it’s fine unless you know the very next thing to happen in the show is Stiles gets possessed, and I ended with some line like “You know I won’t turn evil on you”...ahahaha it FEELS like a happy ending though

Do you write crossovers? If so what is the craziest one you’ve written?

I like fusions more than crossovers, and the craziest (unpublished) one I’ve started writing is Stranger Things/Sailor Moon.

Have you ever received hate on a fic?

Not really. 

Do you write smut? If so what kind?

I do!  I try to make it very, very specific to the characters and what they’re thinking and feeling, and they keep stopping to talk.  XD  Also it tends to be kind of funny, because sex is kind of a ridiculous thing to do, when you get into the details.

Have you ever had a fic stolen?

I doubt it!  I googled one just now, and I was surprised that a different Ao3 user came up and I didn’t, but it was just in their bookmarks with a nice comment.  ^^

Have you ever had a fic translated?

Noooo...one day, maybe!

Have you ever co-written a fic before?

I’ve sort of co-outlined a lot in chat, but I’ve never co-written a fic.  I’ve co-written a lot of original work with people, but the characterization on established characters is so subjective I feel like I’d keep wanting to time-out and discuss.

What’s your all time favorite ship?

Kirk and Spock, or maybe Grantaire and Enjolras?  Neither of whom I’ve written for.  I mostly can’t read and write for the same ships.

What’s a WIP that you want to finish but don’t think you ever will?

I wrote (and finished) a huge long fairytale AU back in my GW days that was this dreamy, surreal cracktastic...I don’t know what, but I lost half of it in a notebook that vanished.  Only half of it was ever posted, and to this day I can’t remember what the ending was.  I’ve never been able to duplicate the bizarre energy of the first half.

What are your writing strengths?

I like characterization and dialogue.  I’m chipping away at plot, action scenes, and sex...slowly...

What are your writing weaknesses?

I’m very, very focused, so I’ll forget things that add lovely dimension like what they’re listening to, or to describe their eyes when someone looks at them.  When I remember sometimes I’m very proud of the emotional beat it reminded me to add!

What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic?

Huh.  I never really thought about it.  I don’t like when stories are inaccessible--like I don’t want to be expected to google translate entire exchanges in order to understand--but I do like when a character uses short phrases or exclaims in a native language as a way to deepen their characterization?

What was the first fandom you wrote for?

The very first I invented stories for was the animated Thumbelina, because I returned from the theater so annoyed I spent all night rewriting the story in my head.  The first fandom I wrote words down for would probably be...Gargoyles, the animated Disney show, because my BFF that I co-wrote with used characters from it.  On my own, writing and posting stories, the first was Gundam Wing, way back in the forums on the site Gundam Wing Addiction.

What’s your favorite fic you’ve written?

Oh, Strangest, definitely, forever!  Lots of thought and love dumped wholesale into that monster of a fic!

Tagging, ohhh, @tbehartoo​, @susiecarter​, @waterhobbit​!  I feel like everybody in the Harringrove fandom who wants to has probably already been tagged...but this is your tag if you haven’t!  Do the thing!  =D  We wanna know!