#I’ve been holding off on listening to the album just so I can hear it on my lil cd player with a signed copy

[kathybluecaller]

ITS HERE!!!!!!!!

[obsessive-valentine]

I know that yandere farmer is mostly tech free but how would he feel about darling asking for a radio or something like that to listen to music from

Maybe then dancing together to old country love songs

I’m loving this idea so much lol, like mentioned before he’d definitely dance with reader and he has a radio or two that he uses regularly. If darling like specific music he’d go out and get a record player or something like that where he can buy specific albums and artists for reader. But he personally has a soft spot for oldies and definitely country music, any that the radio is playing is fine for him to whistle along to as he works or drinks his coffee. Since that last similar ask I’ve thought of more similar scenarios like this and got to add to it. Have this short scenario, thank you for the inspo ❤️

TW: darling definitely has Stockholm syndrome, mentions of being kidnapped, fluff otherwise.

...

You stir in your sleep half conscious as you feel the bed shift and the pillow under your head deflate a bit from the withdrawal of his arm. You’re to tired like most mornings to acknowledge him as he quietly tiptoes around the room gathering his clothes and leaving the room, carefully shutting the door behind him after giving your sleeping self one more glance.

He goes about his usual routine quietly then finally lacing his boots and grabbing his old but trusty portable radio, taking it with him out on the farm. That how you usually find him, when you stir awake you can almost instantly tell just where he’s about. You can hear the country music playing but not loud. So he’s not near the house but also no as far as being up on the fields.

It’s already late morning you gather as you pull the curtain open, the suns out and it looks calm. You decide to go outside to enjoy the calming warm breeze, you’ve nothing that interesting to do in here anyways.

...

You make it onto the porch and are greeted by some of the dogs, you struggle to move past them without giving them all a head pat first. You make your way down the porch steps and onto the grass, you scan the fields where the music is coming from and doesn’t take long to make eye contact with the owner of the land.

He stands leaning against one of his old trucks that holds the hay bails he’s distributing, you realise he’s been watching you loving on the dogs, waiting for you to look his way. He gives you a wave and toothy grin, though you can just about see it since he’s way up on the field, he’ll intentionally hold eye contact with you every now and then -you think it’s his way of letting you know he’s watching you.

You’re about to wave back and make you’re way to the barn like you usually do, but stop yourself and decide to go and talk to him. Maybe you missed him a bit, he was to tired last night to make much conversation with.

“did you sleep okay?” He helps you climb over the short fence in between you both, and steadies you with his hands on your waist as you set your feet on the ground. “Yes...” you took a moment to pat the dirt off that you collected by climbing the fence “I’d sleep better if you didn’t get up at an ungodly hour every morning” you joked bringing your attention back to the man still holding your waist.

“Well, I need to keep on top of things around here. A stitch in time saves nine -ya’ know” he retorted in a similar joking tone before getting a bit more serious “M’sorry love, here I am thinking I was being quiet enough -sneaking around the house in the early hours” he starts swaying to the music in the background, bringing you along with him.

“I’ll be quieter than a mouse next time” he jokes again in a hushed voice, making you laugh a bit. He turns to the truck to twist the old radio dial, turning the music up, the cows watch on curiously waiting for the hay still sitting in bails on the back of the truck.

“They can wait, they’re spoiled cattle who can learn some patience” then without another word he takes waist once again and begins a rather badly formed slow dance. Right there in the middle of a field surrounded by curious cows, beautiful mountains and trees, a fresh breeze and devoted kidnapper lover.

The music continues to buzz on hitting some static now and then due to the age of the device. He’d hum along to some familiar choruses and pick up the pace into a jive like dance depending on the song playing. You both did this for a while, talking about mundane things ‘whats your thinking for dinner tonight?’ ‘How’s that painting coming along?’.

So domestic and pure, for a while there’s no complexity or inner battles about your situation. It’s just you and him sharing a fresh space with calming music and untainted emotions. Maybe if this is what life is now, you could learn to love it, to want to live your life on this quiet farm and have a committed domestic relationship.

Moments like this give him hope, that you won’t always resent him or have to fear him to stay put. Moments like this he discovers he’s okay with letting down that toxic masculinity a bit, and being soft and uncharacteristically fulfilled. He’d never thought he’d be dancing to the radio instead of working but here he is.

Moments like this does he realise his main drive of fulfilment isn’t working hard and being all powerful, but rather pleasing you and having you want him just a fraction of how he wants you.

[strniohoeee]

Vanished

Pairing: Chris Sturniolo X Female Reader

Synopsis: Chris is struggling to come to terms with Y/N no longer being in his life. Stuck in the memories of the past, and having to fight with himself to see her again🫂

Warnings⚠️: None….I mean just heartbreak, so get those tissues ready😭

Songs for the imagine: Ooo Baby Baby- Smokey Robinson & The Miracles, All I want- Kodaline

Vanish

Noun

Disappear suddenly and completely

[Play Ooo Baby Baby]

“Chrissss you’re here” I shouted jumping off of my bed and running up to my boyfriend

“Of course my love, I wouldn’t miss your birthday for anything” he said kissing me

“Chris it’s just my 22nd birthday it’s nothing special” I said looking down

“Of course it is! To another year of health and happiness” he said hugging me tightly

“You’re amazing. What would I do without you?” I said pulling him tightly to hug him

“The real question is what would I do without you” he said kissing the top of my head

“Mmm probably crumble to the ground” I said giggling

“Something like that” he said laughing

“Oh babe! I got you something” he said pulling away

“Chrisss why? You know I hate gifts” I said tilting my head at him

“Well I know, but I’d never show up empty handed on your birthday. Now shut your eyes” he said tapping my nose with his pointer finger

“Fineee” I said shutting my eyes

I heard him walk to my living room and my brows furrowed as to what he got me. Truly hating gifts, but Chris expressed his love through gifts, so I went along with it.

“Okay now open” he said standing in front of me

I opened my eyes to see Chris smiling brightly and holding a vinyl record in his hands. I looked down and my mouth dropped as my eyes went wide

“You didn’t” I said grabbing the vinyl from his hands

“Oh but I did” he said smiling

“Chris I’ve been searching for this album forever, and couldn’t find it well, not an original at least ” I said looking at the album. It was Smokey Robinson’s and The Miracles 1965 Going to a go-go album.

“Trust me I’ve been searching for this album for months, and I’ve had to hide it from you” he said looking at me

“How did you find an authentic album….these are so hard to come by” I said tracing my fingers along the cover

“Lots of dead ends and lots of people helping me, and by people I mean Nick and Matt searching for hours and looking for a receipt authentizing them” he said giggling

“You’re perfect. Like this is the best gift I have ever gotten” I said hugging him again

“Put it on” he said kissing me on the cheek

I walked over to my record player and put the vinyl on. Hearing the little scratch it does before playing the song, sending shivers down my spine. I loved my record player

“Oh my god this is my favorite song” I said clapping my hands together

Ooo Baby Baby started playing and I shut my eyes letting the music take me far away.

“Dance with me?” I asked him sticking my hand out

“Babeeee you know I don’t dance” he said getting shy

“But please it’s on my bucket list to dance to this song with the love of my life” I said pouting

“Alright fine” he said dropping his head and standing up

He joined me as I wrapped my arms over his shoulders and his hands around my waist. We swayed to the music as I looked into his eyes.

“I love you, and I know I haven’t said it in a while” I said looking up at him

“You don’t have to say it, I know my love; and I love you too” he replied, smiling down at me.

“You’re the best thing that has happened to me” I said in a whisper

“I’m thankful I met you when I did” he said kissing my forehead

“I want to stay like this forever” I said looking up at him

“We can stay like this for as long as you want” he said laughing at bit

“If I could just freeze time I would” I replied

“I would too” he said in a whisper

I leaned the side of my face over his heart as we swayed to the music. Listening to the thumping of his heart as I smiled and let a tear slip from my eyes. God I loved him so much.

“Never leave me Christopher” I say in a whisper

“I would never” he said rubbing my head with his left hand

The song finished and we parted ways as I turned the music down. He walked over to my bed and sat down.

“Thank you again Chris” I said as I turned around

“Anything for you my love” he replied blowing me a kiss

I shuffled over to the bed.

“You okay baby?” He asked me as he began to scoot up on the bed

“Yeah my back just hurts today. I’ve been super busy” I said cracking my back

“Come lay down, and I’ll rub your back” he said winking at me

“I could never turn down one of your back rubs” I said winking back at him

I laid down on my stomach next to him, and he began to rub my back gently as I melted into his touch. Chris was the best boyfriend anyone could ask for, and I truly hoped he knew that.

[Play All I Want]

Chris POV

I sat down in front of her, my heart breaking and tears beginning to fill my eyes. I mean I just couldn’t believe what I was going through.

How I just sat here with her infront of me…so close yet so far away. I couldn’t come to terms that this was my reality. Oh how badly I wish I could turn back the hands of time and really hold on to what we had…. I really took a lot for granted.

Reminiscing on our past memories whether they were good or bad, and wishing so badly I could go back to that. If I knew our story had a bad ending I would’ve held on to her a bit tighter.

It’s been two months since I last saw her, and looking at her right now was making me sick. Wishing I could kiss her lips again or hold her tight against my body and whisper how much I loved her. God this was painful….

Silence consuming us as I sat here not sure what to say, or what to do. Struggling to find my voice as I racked my brain for words to express to her.

“It’s been a while” I stated looking down

“I wasn’t even sure I would be able to come here today, but I knew I had to. Had to see you one more time to finally realize that this is over, and not something I made up in my brain” I said finally looking up

“Your mom came by my house two months ago when she came to pick up the last of your belongings ,and she dropped off a letter you wanted me to read” I said, looking at her….waiting for her to say something

“I was so fucking hurt that I left that letter on my dresser for two months. I mean I couldn’t even come to terms with us being over, and you not in my life anymore. I couldn’t bring myself to read it, but I knew when I decided to come see you today I would finally have the courage to open up the letter with you” I said shaking my head

“Well…I’m going to open it, and read it out loud because I want you to hear it for yourself again” I said picking up the letter and showing her

I sniffled and wiped my eyes. Running my fingers over the cover of the envelope titled ‘Chris<3’….. I almost chickened out, but I came here for her and to be able to step away from us and move on with my life

“Well here goes nothing” I said looking at her as I opened the envelope and pulling the letter out

I began to read out loud

Dear Chris,

To my sweet sweet boy oh how I love you so much. I’m so grateful for everything you have taught me in life, and for all the love you have shown me. Before you I was so depressed and felt like I had no meaning in life. But when you came along you showed me that life is beautiful, and I began to see in colors again.

I remember the first day I saw you I thought wow he’s so immature and annoying….but look at us we ended up together. I mean that wasn’t on my agenda, but love has a funny way of finding those who aren’t looking for it. I sure wasn’t looking for love, but here we are you swept me off my feet what can I say.

I can’t even begin to describe how you changed my life for the better. I know we had our ups and downs, and we argued a lot (you are very hard headed, and I know you’re thinking ‘no I’m not’ right now, but yes you are!). I know you would beat yourself up over a lot of things, but Chris nobodies perfect. However you were the closest thing to perfect! So stop beating yourself up my love.

You’re very hard on yourself, and I don’t think you realize how great you truly are. You’re so focused on being perfect that you let life fly by your eyes. Take a step back and just enjoy what you have! Please don’t take life for granted.

I remember when I first told you I was sick, and that I wouldn’t be around for a long time. I expected you to run and leave me, but you sat with me. And we talked…we talked about life, and we cried, and we laughed and most importantly you helped me live life. I know a lot of days were hard because I wasn’t feeling well. You were there to help me complete my bucket list, and that I will forever cherish even in the after life! And when it was getting close to the end you never stopped losing faith and you never let me think about death. With you I was alive….more alive than I’ve ever been. I want you to know that I fought for you, and if you’re reading this it’s because I lost my battle. However I need you to keep fighting in life, and if it’s not for yourself then fight for me okay!

When you purchased me the Smokey Robinson and The Miracles album you made me the happiest girl ever. I know that you knew it was getting really bad, and I was at the end; but you never made me feel like I was dying. I’m thankful that you never treated me differently even though you were suffering on your own.

I know you said that after I passed you’d never date again because I was your soulmate, but I want you to move on in life. Keep me as a memory and a special part of your story locked away in your heart, but don’t close yourself off to love. When you find the perfect girl (which you will), and you get married my only request is that you dance to Ooo Baby Baby at your wedding! Make that promise for me.

Now I know you don’t believe in reincarnation, but I do and I promise you we will find each other again. If you ever hear Ooo Baby Baby just know that I am here with you. Don’t ignore it because it will be a sign of me.

I know you will be sad and in pain, but I want you to keep your head up and push forward in life for me. You will be okay one day. So once again thank you for always being there for my Christopher, and I hope to see you in another lifetime!

I love you with all my heart….till next time

Sincerely,

Y/N

I let out a shaky breath as I broke down sobbing. Closing the letter back up as I put it back in the envelope. Putting the envelope in my pocket.

Vigorously wiping my eyes and my nose as I broke down sobbing. I never cried in front of Y/N, and I’m sure she was looking down on me laughing as I tried to hide my sobs.

I inhaled shaky as I licked my lips and batted my tears away.

“Fuck man….you have such a way with words” I said looking back over at her

“Life is so unfair…I finally found the one thing I was so sure about in life, and just like that it’s swiped from my hands. If only we could’ve froze time” I said shaking my head

“I miss you…I miss you a lot. Most nights I wake up from this bad dream reaching over to grab you only to realize you’re not here anymore, and my bad dreams are a reality” I said swallowing thickly

“I know I always said I love you, but man if I could get one more chance to say I love you to your face. How your face would crinkle up and your eyes would squint at those words” I said laughing a bit

“God… I just I just miss you man. I’m not sure how I’m going to keep pushing in life, but for you I will” I stated as I fixed the flowers in front of her

“You were my best friend, and my soulmate. I’m going to miss our corny little hand shakes and our slow dances. You know I took your record player and the Smokey Robinson album. And I play it every night, often falling asleep to it. It brings me the same comfort your embrace would” I said as I looked at her

“Most mornings I wake up swearing I hear your voice, or smell your perfume. Hoping you’re going to walk through my bedroom door with bags of snacks screaming my name like you always did…..just hoping you’d wake me from this bad dream” I said licking my lips and wiping my nose

“But I think I’m going to go. It was nice seeing you, and I’ll be back more often” I said standing up

“You look beautiful” I said as I wiped the dirty and rocks off of her tombstone

“I miss you and I love you dearly, and I hope you’re doing okay” I said as I leaned down kissing her tombstone

“Until next time my love” I stated as I let my finger brush off her tombstone, slowly walking away.

I walked away wiping my eyes and taking a deep breath trying to gather myself. Unable to come to terms with having to walk away from the love of my life’s tombstone.

Never seeing her again was going to be the worst part of my life, but I always promised her that I would keep it pushing just for her.

My beautiful girl….oh how I missed her

5 months later

It had been a solid 7 months since the passing of my Y/N. It was still hard, but I was taking it day by day. Having my family and hers to keep me going in life. I still wake up from bad dreams searching for her, and that’s something I’m sure I’ll have to live with for the rest of my life.

I visited her grave every 2 and a half weeks. Just sitting and reminiscing with her about anything I thought of that reminded me of her, or memories we always laughed about. It truly helped me feel better about losing her.

Every corner I turned or everywhere I went something always reminded me of her. It brought a smile to my face but a pain to my heart. I began to believe that she was showing me signs of always being with me, and it made my heart flutter.

Three months ago a blue and black butterfly would always land on or near her tombstone whenever I was there. I swore it was just a coincidence, but when it happened every time I began to believe in reincarnation like she did, and started to think it was her showing me a sign.

Today I was heading to a flea market with my brothers to do some shopping. It was something they loved to do, but I cared less about. I tagged along because I hadn’t really been leaving the house. I figured I could use some fresh air

We were walking around when I decided to branch off from my brothers and look at some other things.

I landed on a booth selling old record players, and immediately my mind went to Y/N. Oh how she would’ve loved to be here, and I’m sure she would’ve bought one.

The guy was helping someone else as I was looking at the record players.

Suddenly I heard a record scratch and Ooo Baby Baby started playing. The hairs on the back of my neck stood up and my eyes went wide. I turned around and saw the record player in the far corner.

I walked over to it and looked down. It was an authentic 1965 Going To a Go-Go album playing. Just like the one I purchased my Y/N. A smile crept up on my face and I began to think about that night we shared dancing.

When suddenly something from the corner of my eye caught my attention, so I looked down. Tears came to my eyes when I saw a blue and black butterfly had landed on the record player. Not moving, just standing there with the wings spread.

I smiled and laughed a bit…she was right about reincarnation, and that I’d find her again.

“I love you” I whispered

And with that the butterfly flew over my left shoulder and was gone with the wind, and just like that it had

Vanished.

The End

YALLLL I BOUT NEAR CRIED WRITING THIS🥹🥹 I hope you enjoyed it as much as I did writing it🤭🤭. Thank you all for the support, and I’m sooo close to 1,300 followers like WHATTT?? I love yall🤞🏽🥹🖤🖤

-J💅🏽

[wavesoutbeingtossed]

TTPD Track Speculation/Prediction: @wavesoutbeingtossed Edition

Against my better judgment, I’m putting down my predictions before I am proven completely wrong on April 19.

on the other hand I did correctly attribute all of the 1989 TV vault track teaser lyrics to their songs before it was released so maybe I’m just that good jk.

I’m putting everything under a cut because it’s long and mostly just shooting the shit but it’s a long weekend so what the heck!

I started writing this the night the album was announced at the Grammys in February, so obviously things may have evolved in the meantime. It will be very interesting to see just how wrong I am!

Here be speculation, musings, jokes and more! Enter at your own risk!

SOUND:

I honestly have NO CLUE. I’ve said many, many times that I would be absolutely gagged for an Americana-folk type sound like Carolina/Safe and Sound/some of her acoustic performances on tour. I don’t really expect TTPD to sound quite that stripped back, though. (Prove me wrong, Taylor!)

I am kind of feeling pop-rock-y though, à la WCS, TTDS, based on absolutely nothing but that is also a genre/sound I love that I am begging to hear more on albums.

Completely off the wall guess: Something more jazzy-big band-y, based on nothing but her styling in recent months on the red carpet that harkens back to golden age of Hollywood vibes (especially the Grammys), the inclusion of Clara Bow (renowned flapper girl) on the track list, and the way she keeps talking about being grateful fans accept her bending and switching genres over the years and support her when she does “weird” things.

FORMAT (?)

OK this is just me spitballing, but I said awhile back that I am just getting vibes that there may be, like, a story within a story with this. As in, using some fictional settings as an allegory for the story about herself. The example I used then was The Lumineers, and how they wrote their album III about three generations of a fictional family dealing with addiction, which was an allegory for the lead singer’s own family’s experience with it (without directly calling out the family member in question at the time). There were characters in the album, but many of the songs were sung from an “I”/“you” perspective. I may not be explaining myself well, but I wouldn’t be surprised if there are “fictional” stories in that they’re sung about characters (e.g. Clara Bow?), but it will be obvious to fans that she’s using the characters to speak about herself and her experiences. I’m just getting big “storytelling” energy from the hints. Which means I’m totally wrong!!!! Don’t listen to me!!! (I do think there will be some shades of this somehow, though.)

TRACK LIST SPECULATION

Fortnight: Think you are all on the money about it being the time between the start of tour and when Joever happened for good. Sort of a “two years of uncertainty coming to a head in two weeks” thing. Spending two weeks agonizing over what to do. Two weeks for your whole life to blow up. Finally being removed from the situation and grasping onto your dreams that have been on hold for years and realizing your mind’s made up because you won’t give this part of you up even if it means letting go of what you thought your future held. But another thing I’ve thought of: some common wisdom claims it takes two weeks for a new routine to become a habit, so… outside chance it’s like, two weeks go by and you’re finally used to/accepted whatever it is you’re trying to kick? Also had a thought that there could be many two-week periods that can mark your life and give pause. 

The Tortured Poets Department: No idea really lol. For some reason I feel like this is going to be a little more experimental, “laying the groundwork for the defense” type of vibe, kinda like Mastermind, or using the investigative/academic metaphor to delve into it like, Mad Woman or Vigilante Shit. (Or: it could be super petty roasting the infamous group chat lol. In all seriousness though I would doubt that because I feel like this album is very much about Her… unless said group chat was so insufferable she needs to blast it on main.)

My Boy Only Breaks His Favourite Toys: I saw some talk on my dash about this giving renegade themes (you fire off missiles because you hate yourself but don’t you know you’re demolishing me), and I totally thought the same thing. Also those of you who pointed out the parallels to Cardigan are geniuses (when I was an old cardigan under someone’s bed you put me on and said I was your favorite). Again kinda think there might be some more metaphor in this but guessing it may be along the lines of “he’s only doing this because he knows I won’t leave” themes? It instantly gives dark and uneasy. It gives, the people you love are the ones you hurt the most. All signs point to Not Good.

(Or this is about Benji destroying his spin toys or is that just my cat that does that.)

Down Bad: Someone said (on Jaime’s blog I think*) that this is giving False God but icky and I can TOTALLY see that. (Then again I’ve always found False God sad in the sense that it’s like, “even when we fight so bad we can’t communicate we still have the sex holding us together.”) But, Taylor does like to take sayings with common meanings and twist them on their heads, so I also wouldn’t be surprised if “Down Bad,” isn’t referring to being down as in being horny for someone, but being down as in, feeling devastated/hopeless. (Or, even worse, mean both at the same time. 😵‍💫)

(*I wrote this post in February after the announcement, I don’t have a clue when any of this was said anymore sorry)

So Long, London: like a lot of people, I feel like this is her goodbye to the life they had and more importantly/poignantly, the dreams she had of their future. (I don’t know but, “remember looking at this room we loved cause of the light, now I just sit in the dark and wonder if it’s time” just feels like it’d be part of this story.) So because I’ve said that, watch it be an excoriation of London Boy lol. (You know I’m mad at a London Boy / who just really won’t leave Camden / Market in the afternoon / he hasn’t seen my American smile / in two months cause he won’t come to see me / when I have a show to do…) Feel like it’s going to gut us. BUT, also wonder if this is her “I’m getting the fuck out of dodge ROCK FLAG AND EAGLE” anthem haha. (Or: she ran away to London to escape the Bad Stuff but then got stuck in another kind of Bad Stuff living there for so long…)

But Daddy I Love Him: Pretty obviously the Little Mermaid reference. Very curious if the actual quote is in the song, or if it’s just named that to set the scene but the song instead is an expounding on the theme of giving up her voice for the sake of the relationship like Ariel. Also wonder if this is an overtly diaristic song or if she is going to use characters/figures/fiction to expand on the theme subtly, a little like Maisie Peters’ History of Man or Florence & The Machine’s Cassandra or even more pointedly like her own Last Great American Dynasty or The Lucky One. I do assume the overarching theme is going to be the push-pull between keeping her love and giving up things that are important to her to make that love work.  (Watch this be about her arguing with her father about marrying *** lol.)

The theme of giving up your voice/what you hold dear for love is so loaded, and has some parallels to Clara Bow’s story, which is also on the track list so… Lots to chew on I’m sure.

Fresh Out The Slammer: Totally think the reference to her locking herself up for years at home because she was scared in the Time POTY interview is a likely link to this. Feeling free after the weight of this decision is off her shoulders, yet the sheer terror at now being on her own and rebuilding her future. It could be uplifting but I could also see it being like pure chaos. BUT, a thought I had earlier is that, if this is a song that was written pre-Joever, maybe it’s about the aftermath of a rough patch. Like, we just got our get out of jail free cards, we made it through the other side of this Big Thing that almost ended us (e.g. the final blow in YLM), where do we go from here?

Florida!!!: Emphasis on the “!!!”!!! Honestly it had me at FLORENCE AND THE MACHINE. I’m soooooo curious and sooooooooooooo pumped for this one. I don’t want to let myself hope it’s going to sound like a Florence song BUT I HOPE IT SOUNDS LIKE A FLORENCE SONG. I’m going to guess it may be a reference to the first stop on tour after the news broke. Wasn’t that also a show where a ton of things went wrong? I can see it going so many ways! Is it a hopeful “Florida I’m coming for you you’re a symbol of my great escape my prison break my entire life crumbling and rising again”? An introspective “I never thought I’d have to rebuild my whole world after it imploded, in Florida of all places?!”? Is it a sarcastic “fucking Florida always the scene of the crime I can’t believe my life is falling apart and I need to go to FUCKASS FLORIDA oh great every thing that can go wrong with my show is FLORIDA!!!!”? Is it a rant about the corporate mouse? Or a scathing takedown of Republican politics ahead of the 2024 elections? (lol) Who’s to say?!

Guilty as Sin?: Sooooooooooo curious about this. I’m a Carolina Stan and I know there is 0% chance there is a link between the two songs other than the lyric which is a common term, but it does make me happy. My first thought about this one is that it’s going to be biting or self-reflective — kinda like the bridge of Is It Over Now? Or the chorus of Anti-Hero. As in, “what is it exactly that you think I’m guilty of?” (E.g. ambition? Drive? Seeking attention? Being selfish? But could also be sad: Loving too hard? Caring too much? Being too needy? Hmmm.) I’m kind of feeling like it’s a “if it’s wrong to be guilty of these things I don’t want to be right.” Again if I had to guess I’d wonder if it would have the same vibes as the bridge of YLM. (For some reason, with the question mark, I don’t necessarily think it’s going to be accusing someone of something…)* I also had a thought about the seven deadly sins and this title and… THOUGHTS ARE THINKING**.

(*I may not have found it accusatory in February, but with the benefit of hindsight in March I… reserve the right to change my mind about this.)

(**Future Waves here: the thoughts may have been thinking for February Waves but March Waves has no idea what she was talking about.)

Who’s Afraid of Little Old Me?: I don’t knooooooooooow. At first the title kinda gave me Blank Space vibes, like, you don’t know how much I could fuck this up if I wanted. Then some people mentioned the similarity to Who’s Afraid of Virginia Woolf? And now that’s absolutely all I can think about. If you’ve ever seen the movie (or the play), it is rooooooooough. Watching George and Martha drunkenly eviscerate each other as their guests watch on in horror is… oof. (As someone who has seen this happen in real life and was trapped on a boat with a couple in full unhinged mode… OOF. Just OOF.) Of course there’s the Burton-Taylor of it all too so… (there’s also an interesting theme in Virginia Woolf about buying into illusion to avoid the messiness of reality… and Martha resenting George’s lack of ambition.) Is this song cheeky? Or a threat? Is this a Better Than Revenge/Vigilante Shit rebuke or is it Bejeweled owning her personhood?

(Like any of these songs, there’s also the chance that it’s heartbreaking and is really a reflection on how the things that make her her can be weaponized against her… Or how her struggles/vices alienate her to the person she loves a la Anti-Hero…)

I Can Fix Him (No Really I Can): My first thought is this is going to be one of her sarcastic/satirical/funnier ones, based on nothing except that this sounds like it could be an Olivia Rodrigo cheeky song lol. (Like, I immediately start singing this to the tune of “Get Him Back.”) Never beat those allegations, Taylor, we’ve all been there. It definitely feels like a stereotypical tale of “girl tries to fix a man who doesn’t want to change and refuses to give up.” Watch this actually be a sad ballad about the flip side of renegade and trying to help a partner through a crisis 😬 

loml: the quiet menace in this list!!!! Obviously we’re all immediately thinking “love of my life,” but because this is Taylor, we should not rest easy. The fact that it’s all in small caps is curious to me and calls back to text speak, so is this a term of endearment that turns into a final parting sign off? Is it from an email ahem? Is it a sweet song about the good parts of being together? A wistful song about a lost love? BUT THEN, because it’s Taylor, I can totally see this being a bait and switch and it standing for something else as some of you pointed out, like loss of my life, or love OR my life. Or something entirely different. I’m pretty convinced that this one is going to be devastating in some fashion. I just feel it in my bones.

I Can Do It With a Broken Heart: Like many of you, I’m fairly certain this is going to be a bittersweet Long Live-esque ode to the Eras tour. The pick yourself up by the bootstraps, get out of bed, the show must go on and the show is saving my life story. Just thinking of the quote from the Time POTY interview where she said, “I know I’m going on that stage whether I’m sick, injured, heartbroken, uncomfortable, or stressed.” And in those early weeks, it seems like she might have been all of those things at once. Just trying to talk yourself into getting out of bed when all you want the earth’s core to swallow you whole and never come back. Kind of like, I can pick up the pieces of my life and carry on even when I am dying inside. 

The Smallest Man Who Ever Lived: Obviously this is about one Benjamin Button, please. OK, in all seriousness, it’s giving, well… *shots fired*. It’s giving “your integrity makes me seem small.” It’s giving “I’m a monster on the hill, too big to hang out.” It’s giving “all you are is mean.” So, part of me thinks it’s going to be turned on its head a little bit, just because… it seems to point to something directly and sometimes Taylor enjoys a bit of misdirection. So is this about someone who takes shots at someone else and in so doing, displays their own insecurity? Another thought I had is: Is this about someone who retreats into their own world so much that they’ve shut out everything and everyone else? Their whole world gets shrunken down to the four walls around them? I have a strong feeling this is an allegory-type song, using a fictionalized and possibly fantastical story to tell the real life one, but obviously I could be wrong.

The Alchemy: gonna be real with you all: I didn’t know that alchemy was the practice of turning base metals into something that looks like gold. I think I was mixing it up with apothecary or something, lol. I thought it was the practice of making potions and whatnot. #TheMoreYouKnow ANYWAY, I think the idea of “turning nothing into something that shines” is going to be important. Is it about using her best colours for a portrait to hide the cracks underneath? Is it about trying your best to make something work and thrive but ultimately coming up empty because the foundation is gone? Is it about turning these base experiences into art that fuels her? There are so many possibilities! (@taylortruther’s post about The Alchemy and other comments got me thinking too about the magician/illusionist scenario in So It Goes and now my brain is on fire.)

Clara Bow: Soooooooooo intrigued by this one too. People have pointed out so many of the interesting coincidences and parallels in their lives. Clara Bow was a silent film star who found her voice in the talkies — that right there is one metaphor about finding your voice in your art and your life. But it’s also an interesting parallel that she managed to parlay her success in silent film into talkies, at a time where few actors enjoyed a successful transition, which mirrors Taylor’s transition from country to pop. There’s the way Clara’s private life was splashed all over the press, driven by salacious rumours about her sex life and her perceived revolving door of lovers, which seems like something Taylor would empathize with. There’s the way she had a breakdown and left Hollywood, which may have some shades of 2016. Or that she got married and started a family, but insisted on keeping it a secret for many years to maintain privacy, which is interesting because in this case it seems like *Clara* was the one driving the need for secrecy, not her husband. (At least I read that in one article somewhere, sorry if that’s wrong!) Ultimately though, she died relatively young and was forgotten by mainstream Hollywood, a relic of a past uninteresting to all but the most diehard of film buffs. I’m getting vibes of “The Lucky One,”  (and “Nothing New”) both in themes and in storytelling. So, watch it be completely different and not a story about Clara Bow but instead just have it be an off-hand line lol.

BONUS TRACKS

The Manuscript: I’m veeeeeery intrigued by this one. (I know I say that about all of them. That’s because they all intrigue me.) I love the idea that this wraps up the “standard” album; the chair(wo)man of the Tortured Poets Department has submitted her thesis for review, and it’s up to the board to draw their conclusion. OR: the idea that this is the unfiltered submission to a publisher, before the editor’s review that will cut and tighten and ultimately make it better, but loses the author’s initial vision in the process. (Like self-editing to share the most palatable story to your reader. Which… Also gives Dear Reader/Midnights in general vibes.) OR EVEN: this is the author’s story, submitted to the audience for their review, leaving it up to them to draw their conclusions and annotate. There are sooooooo many ways I can see this going. 

The Bolter: A curious one indeed! I feel like of all of the bonus tracks at least, this is the one I have the least idea about. My immediate guess is that it refers to a person who runs, which would have all kinds of implications. Running from the law (unlikely lol), running from commitment, running from conflict… running for your life. Like running from commitment because you’re scared of being tied down (single girl version) to running from commitment because you’re scared of being tied down (bitter wife* version). (*NOT saying there was a secret wedding lol. I mean as in, that’s the future that was in store if one stayed.) I saw other takes saying bolter is also slang for jailer, which is also interesting with the Ready For It of it all. 

The Albatross: So much has been said about this one, so I don’t think I have much to ado about this one! The famous poem is rife with all kinds of allusions: the bird soaring on its own for up to six years, but being brought down by man’s cruelty. The bird looking majestic in the skies, but the burden of its wings dragging it down on land, slowly killing it. The story being a metaphor for how the very thing poets are exalted for in society are the things they are punished for personally. I think it’s safe to say this one is going to hurt regardless, whether it’s a reference to herself, to ***, or something else entirely.

The Black Dog: Also another one I’m not sure I have many thoughts on yet. The black dog being a metaphor for depression is likely the inspiration, and I’m assuming this has the potential to be one of the most vulnerable songs yet. I have a feeling most of this album will be, but the imagery of this — the black dog being a constant companion, wanted or not, casting a pall over its master’s every move — points in a pretty obvious direction. And one that is probably going to gut us.

Well there you have it folks! I am ready to be completely wrong!

[byhees]

ship dynamics.

엔하이픈 ・ female reader + word count 1100 genre fluff varying au warnings not proof-read flirting — more

a/n. blank

comfort | heeseung

talker and listener.

rants. even ones that ping to your head as seemingly ridiculous.

buying albums and pulling the same photocard not once, not twice, but thrice in a row? he’d just listen whilst suppressing a grin, elbow propped on the table, chin resting on the palm of his hand.

just read up on the latest celebrity gossip? he’d just listen whilst packing up his wardrobe, mumbling little responses when you talk about the interesting portions.

wanting to talk about your embarrassing childhood phases? he’d just listen whilst smiling from ear-to-ear, regularly reacting to your personal rambles.

would respond to rhetorical questions with small nods and quiet hums.

heeseung would willingly stay up till the wee hours of the following day, just to lend you a listening ear— even if they revolved around silly happenings of the day.

he’d be clearing a spot on the bed, already seated patiently (and eagerly) to hear your passionate raves.

“and she was just telling me about her weirdest food combination— honestly, i’ve never heard anything more horrendous!”

euphoria | jongseong

one who says a lot of weird jokes and the other who finds them all funny.

“i sold my vacuum the other day; all it was doing was collecting dust.”

and you’d take a second or two to process it, before stifling a little chuckle, which would escalate to uncontrollable laughter.

there was something comforting about hearing an awful joke after a long day— just a moment to spare a giggle and to forget about all the agitating moments of the day.

would crack similar jokes when you two go out with friends; just imagine a table filled with awkward silence, and a wheezing you by the side.

at times you have a halfhearted ponder about whether it was jay’s wide and proud grin that made you giggle, or if it was the joke itself.

butterflies | jaeyun

one who is flirty and the other who is usually confident but gets swayed by these flirts.

no, because he’d INTENTIONALLY do little things that would get magical butterflies soaring about in your stomach, the tips of your ears flushed in a shade akin to a tomato.

you’d normally carry yourself with poise, but the moment jake does something remotely heart-throbbing, you’re crumbling in your spot.

those little pecks that he’d plant on your face, you mirroring the small smile on his face.

those little hand-holds under the table, his fingers gently intertwined with yours.

all causes of your internal explosion.

but he loves to test his luck by doing things such as cornering you into a wall, whilst lovingly staring down into your pair of eyes, whispering,

“there isn’t a word in the dictionary that can explain your type of beauty.”

oblivion | sunghoon

the oblivious and the obvious.

sunghoon had his feelings all figured out; he definitely, very truthfully, loved you.

but knowing, or rather not quite knowing you, he didn’t know how you’d react to being straightforwardly confessed to under a wide-branched tree.

so, he resorted to leaving small hints— though in retrospect, they weren’t subtle whatsoever.

“be mine.”

“… is that a line from the book you’ve been reading?”

and he thought that you, of all people, would know that he doesn’t read.

he’d shrug it off with a simple response of “yeah, obviously”, whilst mentally blowing up on the inside.

him going in for a kiss, but when you two accidentally bump heads, he can’t stop laughing at the insanity of the situation, whilst you’re just confused because you genuinely had no clue.

or he’d go in to touch your face, but you’d wind up freaking out, shrieking a response akin to,

“WHAT???? IS THERE A BUG??? WAIT GET IT OFF!!?!”

him leaning back in his seat, with a,

“yeah im soooooo bored this weekend. when you are free. you know. i have NOTHING to do. oh what ever will i entertain myself with!!! WHOOeverrr should i entertain myself with.”

and you simply don’t get it at all.

altruism | seonwoo

the class topper and the student who fails every subject.

sunoo would be the human equivalent of an encyclopaedia; he’d be so insanely knowledgeable that you’d barely be able to comprehend it.

perhaps that was the reason why you’d pester him for help, even over the simplest of things; and he’d occasionally spare more glances over at your direction, visibly fed up with the little comments whizzing beside his ear.

but he’d eventually help out, abandoning his own piece of work to thoroughly explain each sentence to you.

weekly tutoring sessions at the lunch table by the school garden because sunoo’s just really sweet.

he’d be so patient and gentle about teaching you, even going so far as to sacrifice his time, so you’d feel the motivation to repay his kindness,

“i’m so going to ace the next assessment, promise.”

familiarity | jungwon

the one who gets lost nearly everyday and the one who helps them every time.

despite living around the area for a considerably long time, you still manage to find ways to get yourself lost;

you’re planning to go to a newly opened park, and somehow manage to walk in the opposite direction? jungwon’s already face-timing you with an alternative solution of picking you up himself.

you’re taking the public bus to a library, but doze off mid-journey, thus finding yourself stood at an unfamiliar bus stop? jungwon’s texting you detailed directions as to where you should go next, a panicked keyboard smash following that if you don’t immediately reply.

being worried of your safety, he’d reschedule his entire week’s worth of classes, hangouts and reminders, just to offer his company during your travels.

“okay, it should be just round the corner…”

he’d whisper to himself whilst holding your hand as a gesture to guide you.

jovial | riki

the chaos magnet and the chaos instigator.

riki’s loud loud. and you’re not.

so.. you’d be resting your head on your assigned table in the early mornings, and he’d sit on an empty seat beside you, chirping the most ridiculous of things.

“oh and for your information, i did have a 30-minute-long conversation with my pet.”

“… what…?”

you would occasionally wonder to yourself why he had chosen to annoy you, out of all people, every available moment of the day… but to admit, you did find enjoyment in his presence throughout the tiring week.

he would mindlessly do questionable things, like starting a conversation with his seat partner and fire-spitting his words at the speed of light, mid-sentence.

or by walking down the stairs as though he’d be wearing ski boots.

taglist open! @wondipity @yjjungwon @shysakuno @niktwazny303 @syrxiee2 @g4m3girl @minhosify @haechansbbg networks! @kflixnet

[themultifandomgal]

From 2010- Zach Sang Show

Part 54

2016

“I’m hanging out in the studio right now with YN YLN”

“Hi. Thanks for having me” I smile at Zach

“Thank you for being here. How are you feeling? A lot is happening right now for you. This is your first solo interview, your releasing your first solo album and your going on tour with Justin Bieber. Like does it feel strange without the boys with you?”

“Yes really strange” I nod nervously laughing

“Have you spoken to any of them or seen them since last year?”

“Yeah we text each other at least once a week. I spent new year with Harry which was lovely”

“How do you feel about being solo?”

“It’s mixed emotions really. I’m so excited to release the album and go on tour, but I’m also so scared. Like when I was with the boys I had that constant support, if I forgot lyrics they were there to help me, but now I’m on my own”

“Let’s talk about your upcoming album. You let me listen to it before hand and it’s a masterpiece”

“Aww thank you” I shift in my seat

“What was the writing process like? You wrote My Everything/Ghostin’ and ‘Break Your Heart Right Back on tour didn’t you?”

“Yeah. I’m so grateful for Liam, Harry, Louis and Niall for helping me turn my thoughts into songs. They started off as random sentences in my notebook. I never planned on making them into actual songs but then Harry got hold of my note book and within a few weeks on tour we had wrote the two songs. Niall helped come up with the melody and Louis recorded it on his phone. Liam was just the hype man. I kind of forgot about the songs until it came to writing the album. I wrote ghosting in a day. It was a bad day with an ex and it just all came out. It wasn’t supposed to go on the album, I never finished it, but Harry was a huge help and he was the one who suggested to put them both on the album. I trust him and his instincts”.

“This album feels very personal”

“Oh 100%” I went through stages during the writing process for the album. I was angry. Angry at the men in my life who have hurt me. I was angry at myself for letting them, but then came the heartache, the questioning myself, like how could I have let the same thing happen over and over again. This album is a true break up album that goes through the emotions of wanting to leave that person, but being in your head and wanting to make it work”

“It’s almost like a diary entry”

“Yeah pretty much. I mean..” I sigh looking at the ceiling “for me me it’s about telling to world how I’m feeling, but in an enjoyable way I guess. I’m 22 now and if I’m not invested in these songs then what’s the point” I shrug

“Is that the worst part that it’s all personal?”

“No no not at all” I shake my head “I don’t have to pretend. I never want to pretend. I want to be open about what I’ve been through and what I go through”

“You look back to when you were on X Factor to your One Direction days to now as a solo artist, can you pinpoint what you’ve learnt”

“I was young when I started in this industry, I was the youngest member of One Direction, plus the only girl, I had a lot of other girls dislike me. I was ‘the worst member’” I said doing air quotes with my hands “at first it got to me. I went on antidepressants and I was speaking to a therapist multiple times a week, but I learnt that there’s no point listening to the hate. Most of them were jealous and I just think if you dislike my voice then just don’t listen. It’s hard to ignore it when there’s so many rumours and opinions”

“It’s life changing to let go”

“Oh 100%”

“I have to ask, how’s Cookie?”

“She’s great. She’s come with me today actually”

“Really? Can we see her?”

“Of course. Dad can I have Cookie?” I turn around to look at my dad. He nods his head and quickly goes to get my dog. I then hear her little paws running “Cookie! Hi baby girl” I pick her up and place her on my lap

“I feel like Cookie is your mascot” Zach laughs, I laugh along with him

“The fans normally get more excited to see her than me”

“Can we talk about going on tour with Justin Bieber? How did that come about?”

“It’s funny actually” I laugh shifting in my seat before taking a quick sip of water “while we were in LA last year we met Justin. He ask what our plans were for this year and when I said I was writing an album he asked me to go on tour with him to promote it. He’s been so supportive of the album”

“Ghostin/My Everything comes out this week”

“Yeah on Friday. It will be the anniversary of Alex’s passing. It’s going to be an emotional day, but I wanted to dedicate those songs to him. The music video will be a lyric video with photos and videos of Alex growing up. He was one of my biggest supporter so it’s only right I dedicate my first single to him”

“I just have to say you are so strong”

“I couldn’t do it without my friends and family. They are my crutches. I’m so incredibly grateful for them and I’m not sure I can ever repay them for everything they’ve done, especially my dad and Emma”

“Speaking of Emma she’s become part of your team now hasn’t she?”

“Yeah she’s my PA. I wouldn’t wake up on time if it wasn’t for her” I joke making is both laugh

“That’s all the time we have. Thank you so much for coming on the show”

“No thank you I had a good time”

“Good look with the album and tour. Your going to kill it”

“I hope so”

“YN YLN everyone”

[all-about-kyu]

Summary: You’ve stuck by Honey since day one… it’s only fair you finally give Sunwoo some extra support while they’re on tour. Pairing: Rockstar!Sunwoo x fem roadie!reader Tropes: rockstar au, fan-celebrity relationship Genre: smut Rating: R 18+ Warnings: language, mentions of drinking and parties, piercings, smoking Smut Warnings: oral (m receive), deepthroating, dirty talk, hair pulling, facefucking, dacryphilia, pet name (pretty thing) Word Count: 1,110 Note: thank you to @anyamaris and @wooahaeproductions for beta/proofing this

Host Tag: @sanjoongie @thelargefrye

February Filth Masterlist Before You Interact

Listen to ♡ Lollipop by Lil Wayne (ft. Static Major)

“That’s the last of the supplies and such.” One of the tour managers sighs, “Are both boys already on the bus?”

“Sunwoo is out back smoking, but he should be done shortly.” You hear his manager respond.

You flick your cigarette before pulling it back up to your lips to take another drag. You glance over at Sunwoo, who’s doing just the same. Honey had just finished performing their concert for tonight; to say the least, he was exhausted. Eric was probably already passed out in his bunk on their tour bus rather than indulging in bad habits like Sunwoo is.

“You’ve been at every stop so far.” The guitarist notes.

“Yeah,” You confirm, puffing out some smoke, “I’ve followed Honey since you guys released your first album.”

“Damn,” he chuckles, “You’re a ride-or-die fan, huh?”

You chuckle airily, “Yeah, you could say that. I’ve helped with setup and breakdown in the past, too. I’ll do anything I can do to help you guys out.”

Sunwoo pushes off the cool brick wall and leans over the wooden fence with you. You’ve been in close quarters with him before. Most notably, when they played at small bars in the early days, you were pressed against the stage. This time, though, you feel a heaviness in the air. The tension is palpable. You fear that if you take another drag from your cigarette, you will crumble under the weight. 

“Anything?” He asks with a challenging tone.

“That’s what I said.” You respond, pushing your hair to the side.

“I could use a little extra support if you’re interested.” His eyes trail down your form and then back up to your eyes.

You turn your body toward him. He stays in his position, but his eyes track you like an animal tracking its prey. Finally, you take one last drag from your cigarette before dropping it to the ground and crushing it beneath your boot. Sunwoo watches you, smoke escaping his lips, curling around his lip ring for a moment before dissipating into the air. 

“Well?” He questions.

“Well?” You echo, “Where are we hiding?”

He smirks, shiny silver lip ring twinkling in the night. He mirrors your action of putting out his cigarette before leaning in toward you. He puts a hand under your chin, holding eye contact with you.

“Backstage work for you, pretty thing?”

“Lead the way.” You match his energy.

“Fuck,” Sunwoo groans, “you look so pretty on your knees for me.”

You look up at him through your lashes. His eyes are dark and trained on you. He has one hand lazily in your hair as you lick his tip lightly. As much as you love taking your time giving him a slow blowjob, you also know that, in reality, they’re waiting on him to leave. Sunwoo tosses his head back, his dark hair falling out of his face as he looks up at the ceiling. Just as his eyes break from you, you take him completely down your throat. Your action catches the guitarist off guard, and he lets out a loud, slightly broken moan. You hold yourself against his pubic bone for a few moments before pulling back again. A string of drool connects your lips to the head of his cock. He looks at you again, his hair falling in his eyes. 

“You’re gonna be the death of me, pretty thing.” He smirks.

“They call it ‘the little death’ in French for a reason.” You tease, voice slightly horse from taking him so deep.

You don’t wait for him to respond. You take him back down your throat. His hips jolt forward, causing you to make a choking sound in response. Tears brim in your eyes due to the lack of airflow, but you couldn’t care less. All you want is to make the rockstar see God. Each time, you pull back slowly and jerk your head forward quickly. Hollowing your cheeks, you hear Sunwoo curse and tighten his grip on your hair. It seems as though he’s had enough, though. His other hand drops to your hair and matches the grip the other has. You look up at him through your lashes again, this time with slight confusion. He’s holding you back so only the tip of his cock is in your mouth. If anything, you’d expect him to hold you so that you have him completely in your mouth.

“You had your fun, pretty. Now let me take care of things.”

You feel a shudder run through your body that settles in your core. Your panties are soaked. There’s no way they aren’t. He holds you there for a few more moments before thrusting into your mouth. You hardly have a moment to react to his harsh pace. You get a breath far too little for your lungs to be content, but you’re not complaining one bit. Sunwoo spews filthy words at you. There’s drool dripping down your chin as you continually choke on his cock. Tears again threaten to fall from your eyes. This time, you let them fall. 

“Crying for me?” He lets his tongue peek out to play with his lip ring, “Quite the sight, pretty thing.”

You make a garbled noise in an attempt to respond. He only laughs condescendingly at you. Bringing your hands up to his thighs, you grip them, hoping it’ll help you hold onto your sanity by proxy. Your vision is completely blurred with tears. Your painted nails are digging into his skin. Everything just feels so intense in the best way possible. As if things couldn’t get better, without warning, Sunwoo groans as he releases down your throat. The noise he makes rivals a growl, and you can’t swallow his cum due to how deep down your throat he is. He pulls out completely. You gasp for air, not caring about the drool, tears, or cum dripping down your face.

“Thanks for that, pretty thing.” He sighs, coming down from his high.

You wipe your chin and suck the mixture off your fingers, “Any time.” 

Your voice sounds foreign to your ears. That’s to be expected after being throat fucked, though. After redressing, Sunwoo squats down in front of you and hands you a random towel he found nearby. You giggle quietly before wiping the remainder of bodily fluids from your face.

“You wanna come for a ride?” He asks softly.

You look at him with a playful glint in your eyes, “Ride on what?”

Sunwoo shakes his head, looking at the ground for a moment, “You really wanna fuck around and find out, huh?”

You just smirk and raise your eyebrow at him.

COPYRIGHT ALL-ABOUT-KYU 2024© ALL RIGHTS RESERVED — reposting/modifying any fic or piece of original writing posted on this blog is not allowed. Translations are not permitted. 

Networks: @cultofdionysusnet @kwritersworld @k-vanity

Tag List: @bratty-tingz @yeosangiess @minjaeluver @abbietwilight

[bad268]

Plot Twist

Breaking News (Part 5/Final)

(Max Verstappen X Reader)

Fandom: RPF/Formula 1

Requested: Nope (I had an idea, Mr. Krabs)

Warnings: cheating mentioned, toxic parents, overall hella fluffy (HERE is a link to the full playlist if you want to hear them all in a row otherwise each individual song is linked later in the story.)

Pronouns: They/them

W.C. 1655

Chapter Summary: The much-anticipated album drop of 'Plot Twist' by Y/n L/n leads to an unexpected plot twist in the end.

As always, my requests are OPEN

MASTERLIST // HITLIST

(^Came from 2 pics on Pinterest)

<- Previous Part

July 24, 2024

~

It is release day, October 16. Plot Twist dropped at midnight, and so far, it’s been received very well! Neither of my previous albums had this much attention, so it was honestly shocking seeing my name and album trending on Twitter. 

I was busy in the kitchen, eating some lunch, and avoiding looking at the feedback. I knew that I would waste the entire day reading every little critique the fans had. My publicist knew that I would try that, so they were holding my phone hostage as they worked on planning a live stream. It was a tradition at this point; day of release, I would livestream listening to every song and telling the story or answering questions between them.

I was just finishing up my food when I felt one arm around my waist as another stole one of my crisps. “Hey! That’s mine.”

“It’s one, you’ll live,” Max whispered, leaning onto my back to place a kiss on my cheek after he at the chip. “It’s not like you’ll starve.”

“I’ll tell your nutritionist that you ate a pack of crisps,” I joked. 

“It was one!” He complained, turning my head to connect our lips in a few small kisses. When we separated, he whispered, “I’ll buy you more if you’re that concerned.”

“Alright lovebirds, I need to steal the singer,” my manager interrupted the moment.

“I’ll be right over,” Max joked.

“Ha ha, Max,” my manager replied sarcastically. “Are you going to be beside them or behind the camera?”

“I’ll stay back,” he answered, already pulling a chair to sit behind the camera that was pointed at the couch. “It’s your moment.”

“Thanks, liefde (love),” I said, taking my spot on the couch. “Let me know when you start it.”

“If you’re ready, I can start it now?” My manager asked, receiving a thumbs up from me as I fixed my appearance one last time. They pointed to me, signaling that I was live, so I smiled and switched on my stage persona. 

“Hello everybody!”  I greeted, scanning through the messages flying on the screen. “It’s everyone’s favorite day; release day! I’m going to play my new album, Plot Twist, which is available now on all platforms, and answer your questions about each song. Let’s get started with the first single.”

Track 1-Ava

“Everyone knows this backstory, but something you might not know is that Max helped me with the melody on this one too,” I laughed as Max groaned in the background.

“I helped on basically every song. I should get royalties.”

“I think you’ll live, Mr. Third-Most-Paid-Sportsman-Under-25,” I mocked.

“Oh fuck off,” He laughed, moving to play the next song.

Track 2-Seven

“Again, another very popular single, “I chuckled, “Not gonna lie, was almost titled ‘Fling’ or ‘Freak Out’, but Max thought 'Seven' was more ominous.”

“I did not! Stop putting words in my mouth!”

“Denial doesn't look good on you, schat (darling).”

“I’m not in denial,” He opposed. “I just said ‘Seven’ sounded better than ‘Fling’ or ‘Freak Out’.”

Track 3-Bigger Person

“Think we all know who this is directed at,” I sighed with a look directly at the camera, “But actually, it was a combination of the breakup and my personal problems with my family, and this is one of my most vulnerable songs. I’ve been working on it for a long time, and it is one of my favorites on the album. I think I did the idea justice, and I hope some of my fans find comfort in this song.”

Track 4-Flowers

“Flowers is another very close-to-home song. I used to have a huge fear of commitment, and with my ex, the very first thing he did was introduce me to his family by saying he would marry me,” I admitted, remembering the details of the night I met the Leclercs. Now, I have no contact with Charles, but his brothers and Maman still text me every so often. Arthur actually called me to tell me how much he loved the album earlier today. I smiled at the memories before continuing. “That actually didn’t drive me away as it normally would have, so I felt safe and comfortable with him right away. Maybe that’s why I put up with everything for so long. And anytime there was a big fight between us, instead of talking it out and resolving it, he would get me red roses. It was always an apology, and I can’t look at red roses the same anymore.”

“For everyone always asks why I get them carnations, daisies, or dahlias, this is why,” Max spoke up. “I’m the man that treats you right.”

“Yes, yes you do, Maxie,” I laughed, looking over at him. “I love you. Now, next song!”

Track 5-Somebody to You (Acoustic)

“When I realized that I loved Max, I couldn’t get him off my mind at all. I knew I wanted to be someone important to him, but I didn’t want to be overbearing and make him think it was a rebound,” I explained quickly. “However, even as a kid, I knew I would be with him because we were just always close like that.”

“They came to me whenever they needed support, and same for me with them,” Max elaborated, “We were just always close like that.”

Track 6-18

“It started when I told Max that I loved him for the first time at the Austin Grand Prix last year. He responded immediately saying he loved me since we were 18 before either of us actually understood love. It all just flowed from that moment. Max was actually able to help me on some of the lyrics for this song, but I promised I wouldn’t say what verses he wrote apart from the obvious.”

“Apart from the obvious? Really?” He laughed.

“Y’know, if you’re going to be so vocal during the stream, why don’t you just come on camera?” I challenged, knowing he didn’t want to be on the stream, but he was acting too involved for someone who didn’t want to be here.

“I’m fine here, thank you. Onto the next one.”

Track 7-That Part

“This is our story in a song,” I sighed as I made eye contact with Max, him winking at me, causing me to smile and drop my head. “ I jokingly told my friends and family that I would date Max at some point when we were like 8, so the end was kind of a ‘haha told you so’ to everyone who said I was lying. It was actually a surprise to Max, and he didn’t know I was writing this. When I played this for him the first time, he cried, but he loved it. I hear him singing it every so often, sometimes it’s in English and sometimes in Dutch, but either way, it makes me happy that he loves it. It means I did our love story justice.”

Track 8-Eternally Yours

“Max and I wrote this together. We wanted a song for our wedding, so we poured everything we had into this song. I also pulled in my friends, Chris and Ricky, to write with us. Chris and Ricky are masterminds when it comes to writing beautiful melodies with strong meanings, so I knew they would be the perfect people to collaborate with. If you know their band, you’d know that their more heartfelt songs like Fatal and Sinematic were written by these two,” I said, going onto a short tangent about my friends and co-writers. Then I remembered that many of my listeners don’t listen to them so I said, ���Shameless plug here, check out their band, Motionless in White if Eternally Yours is your favorite from the album! They’ve got new music coming soon, but you didn’t hear that from me. They’re actually covering this on that album but with a metal twist.”

As soon as I saw the chat explode, I knew I messed up somewhere. I looked at the messages and found one that said, “WEDDING?!” I knew I just outed that we were engaged by accident. “Well, cat’s out of the bag everyone. Max proposed when he heard ‘That Part’ for the first time.”

My manager let out a loud laugh as they read one of the comments. I looked at them skeptically, so they said, “Chat wants Max to reenact his proposal.”

“Say less,” Max joked to himself as he walked from the other side of the camera to kneel in front of me.

“What are you doing? I thought you didn’t want to be on camera,” I laughed, moving my hands to mess with his hair. He started shaking his head to get my hands away from the strands as he pulled out a box. 

“I planned this to be a little more romantic than you jokingly messing up my hair,” He chuckled, using his other hand to fix it. “Can’t really back out now with hundreds of thousands of fans watching, now can I?” He reached out to grab my left hand as my free hand to hide my red face. “I think there’s only one thing left to say, wil je mij voor eeuwig de jouwe laten zijn (Well you let me be eternally yours)?”

“Altijd schat (Always darling),” I whispered as I pulled him in for a kiss as he pulled the ring out to place it onto my left ring finger. “That was pretty close to the first time.”

“Minus you messing with my hair, and you cried a lot more the first time,” He chuckled, sitting next to me for the end of the stream.

“At least now I can wear my ring in public,” I said before leaning in to kiss him one last time. I pulled away as my manager announced their presence again, causing us both to laugh. “Ok guys, that’s the stream. We will see you at the next album stream! Bye!”

~

October 16, 2024

~~~

Fin <3 (unless y’all got ideas for more. I’m open)

~~~~~

© BAD268 2023. DO NOT REPOST WITHOUT PERMISSION.

[nyoomfruits]

Ohhh what’s give me a taste (of what it's like to be next to you) ? I love all your story’s by the way😍

ITS THE POPSTAR LANDO FAKE DATING AU which i will definitely get to at some point because like. it really is quite fun. anyway here's a little snip of lando/oscar banter :)

Lando, thankfully, is still down, which is how Oscar finds himself in his own living room three days later, pacing in front of the couch currently occupied by the man of the hour himself. 

“Do you have downstairs neighbors?” Lando asks. He’s fully sprawled over Oscar’s couch, feet tucked under one of the cushions and head pillowed on the arm rest. At least he’s had the decency to take off his shoes.

“Hm?” Oscar says, a little absentmindedly as he makes his way from the bookcase holding some of his helmets back to the fireplace he literally never uses.

“Downstairs neighbors,” Lando repeats. When Oscar gives him a blank look, Lando continues, “I just think it would be funny, if you wore down the floor enough and you fell through it, to imagine you ending up on some poor guy’s dinner table.”

Oscar glares at him. “You’re not taking this seriously,” he chastises.

“Or,” Lando says, pointing at him. “Consider; you’re taking this too seriously.”

“This is our future, Lando,” Oscar bites. “I’m pretty sure I’m taking this just seriously enough.”

Lando shrugs. “What’s the worst that can happen? We break up? That’s the intended plan eventually anyway, isn’t it? We just go on a few fake dates, act madly in love, easy peasy lemon easy.”

“That’s not how the saying goes,” Oscar points out. “Plus, I don’t. I’ve never done this before, okay?”

“A PR relationship? Me neither, mate. Can’t say it’s that common, really. Unless you’re a Kardashian, maybe.” Lando’s fiddling with his bracelets again.

“I mean date,” Oscar says, finally giving up his mini marathon through the living room and falling down on the couch next to Lando.

Lando’s head shoots up. “Wait, really? Never?”

Oscar shakes his head. “I was in the closet, so. No. Didn’t want to risk it.”

“Oh,” Lando says, “Yeah, no of course.”

“Have you?” Oscar asks, hearing a voice suspiciously like his mum’s whispering to him he has to at least try now that he’s committed to making this work.

“Been in a relationship?” Lando snorts. “I mean, yeah. Enough to write like five albums about.”

Five. Oscar vows to himself that after this meeting is over to listen to at least one of them, maybe. For research purposes. It’s going to look a little awkward maybe, if they do start dating and Oscar can’t name a single song by his supposed boyfriend.

“Well, okay, you be the expert on the dating part, then,” Oscar says, letting his head fall back against the backrest of the couch. “For the fake part, we need rules.”

Lando snorts. “Romance,” he says, doing little jazz hands.  

Oscar glares at him. “No kissing,” he says. That’s what’s got him into this fucking mess in the first place, and there’s no reason to. It’ll be easier, he thinks, if he keeps a little distance between him and Lando. A nice safe barrier so Oscar can just pretend they’re, like, coworkers. Or something.

“Boring,” Lando says. “But fine. What about hand holding?”

“Hand holding is fine.”

“Hugging?”

“Sure.”

“Cuddling?”

“In what scenario would we cuddle in public?”

“Covering all our bases, Oscar.”

“Fine. Sure, cuddling is okay.”

“Linking our pinkies together.”

“That’s. Isn’t that just holding hands?” Oscar frowns at Lando.

Lando smiles serenely at him. “Like I said, covering all our bases.”

Oscar squints. “See, now I feel like you’re just making fun of me.”

“I would never,” Lando says, widening his eyes at Oscar in what Oscar is pretty sure is an attempt at puppy eyes. “It’s just, that’s a lot of rules. Next you’re going to tell me we need a safe word.”

Oscar considers this. “That’s. That’s not a terrible idea actually. For if either if us feels uncomfortable.”

“I was joking,” Lando says.

“Sure,” Oscar says, shrugs. But you’re right, so. “How do you feel about fish?”

“Gross, disgusting, why do you hate me,” Lando says.

Oscar snorts. “As a safe word, Lando,” he says.

Lando, seemingly resigned to the fact that they’re going to have to come up with a safe word, considers this. “I don’t think it would work, it comes up too much in casual conversation, I think. It has to be something weird, something completely out of left field.”

Oscar glances around the living room, his eyes falling on the stack of shoes near the door. “What about thongs?”

Lando’s eyebrows shoot up. “I mean. Kinky.”

Oscar groans, buries his face in his hands, curses the differences between British English and Australian English. “The shoes, Lando. The shoes. In Australia you call flipflops thongs.”

“Why,” Lando says. “That makes no sense. But sure, fine, whatever you want. Our safe word can be shoe thongs.”

“That’s not-“ Oscar starts, but cuts himself off, shakes his head. “Yeah, no sure. Let’s go with that. Shoe thongs.”

“Great,” Lando says, clapping his hands. “Now we’ve got that sorted, what are you doing tomorrow?”

[ilovenh]

Niall Horan blurb Summary: When Niall comes home from a long day at work and just needs you to love on him.

Warnings: None really (some crying/sad moment, kissing) mostly just pure fluff

It was a normal Thursday night in the spring. The birds were chirping as the sun was setting, causing the sky to turn a stunning orange and pink color. After putting dinner in the oven you sat on the porch watching the sunset at you and Niall’s shared house. You two had been married for almost 2 years now. Sure your relationship had some bumps in the road, but here you are in your dream house watching the gorgeous scenery around it, waiting for your husband to come home from work. With the release of his third solo album Niall has to spend lengthy hours at the studio working. But he loves it, and you love seeing how much hard work he puts into doing what he loves. You hear the front door open and footsteps knowing he must be home. You get up and walk into the house to greet him. “Hey babe” you say “How was the studio”

“Good” is all he says in a dismal tone. You look at him and notice how exhausted he looks. The usual big beaming smile on his face gone.

“Ni are you okay?”

“yeah just a little tired”

You were about to try and figure out what was going on since this behavior was very unlike him, but the timer on the oven went off letting you know dinner was ready.

You two ate dinner together and while you tried to brighten to mood and talk to him, he would only give you short answers and that sad frown. He eventually got up to go take a shower and change. You finished cleaning up from dinner and walked past your bedroom, and that’s when you hear something. You get quiet to listen. And that’s when your heart breaks. Crying. Coming from the bathroom.

“Niall are you okay?” You ask really concerned as you walk into the bathroom. “(Y/N)?” He asks nervously.

You take your clothes off and open the shower door stepping in. He has the most crushed look on his face, eyes red from crying. “baby” is all you can get out before he wraps his arms around you and buries his head in your neck. You instinctively wrap an arm around him rubbing his back while the other goes into his hair. You stay like this for a few minuets.

“Ni, baby talk to me please” “what’s wrong”

“I’ve just been under a lot pressure lately. I have a lot of work to get done, people want new music but I can’t seem to write anything I think is good enough.” He told you, a few tears falling down his cheeks.

“You are good enough and I know everything you write is.” You assured him wiping the tears off his face.

“Thanks baby. I love you so much.” He said holding your face between his hands, kissing you. You two stayed there kissing before you finally broke apart from each other.

“I love you to Ni” you finally breathed out. “why don’t we get out of the shower. We can cuddle and watch a movie” You tell him. You both get out the shower and dry off. He puts on his boxers and you put on one of his old T-shirts and sweats. You go to lay down on the bed and he’s quick to lay on top of you. He lays his head on your chest while his arms and legs are tangled with yours. You play with his hair and kiss the top of his head. This sweet moment makes you realize just how lucky you are. Your husband and love of your life cuddled up in the bed with you while a movie plays quietly. It’s not long before you hear snores coming from Niall making you smile.

“I love you so much Ni” you whisper kissing him. And it’s not long before you fall asleep to.

—————————————————————————

This is my first time writing so feedback is very much appreciated! I want to know what you guys like and anything you would like to see. But remember I am human and my writing is just for fun so please be nice!

[thetriumphantpanda]

The Way You Miss Me | Joel Miller (Chapter Five)

You put your plan into action - in order to get closer to Joel, you have to get close to Ellie. The home truths that come out as a result aren't at all what you wanted though.

Pairing | Joel Miller x Female Reader

Word Count | 3K

Warnings | Angst and pining, mentions of death and origin story of readers scar which involves a knife but nothing else.

Authors Note | This one flew out of my fingers like lightening so I hope you enjoy it! Would love to hear your thoughts so leave comments, like or reblog or pop on over to my ask box if you fancy it! Also not me deadass writing in one of my favourite bands, shoutout to any of my fellow elder emo's out there. The shame of the outbreak is that these guys never got to jam along to Three Cheers for Sweet Revenge or Misery Business..... This fic is actually loosely based on an All Time Low song from their new album, if you wanted to listen you can find it here - listen and watch out for nods to the lyrics in the dialogue here!

It had been a week since the awkward encounter at the bar with Joel and you were frustrated that you hadn’t had the opportunity to speak with him. You’d been watching him from afar, he’d been in the stables one day getting himself assigned a horse so that he could start heading out on patrol. He’d spent an evening at The Tipsy Bison with Tommy, the only acknowledgement was a swift nod of his head towards the table you shared with your father but that was only because Tommy had hit him on the arm, mouthing for him not to be rude. You’d watched him walk down the street past your home a few times, watching from the window and wishing it had been your home he was coming to. The one constant in all of it? The little girl. Ellie was attached to him like a barnacle to a whale, he was never without her, and you’d bet your bottom dollar (If you had any) that the key to getting closer to Joel was that little girl. 

“Can I ask you a question?” You asked Tommy one day whilst you were helping him repair some fencing around the outer wall. 

“You just did, but sure thing Sunshine.” 

“Do you know much about Ellie?” Your tried to keep your tone as nonchalant as possible, but the grin on Tommy’s face suggested he knew exactly where you were going with this. 

“I’ve gotta be honest Joel’s kept her to himself mostly,” He shrugged, picking up his hammer to beat some nails into the wood you were holding still for him, “She’s a firecracker, swears like a sailor and is the only person I’ve ever seen make Joel laugh since the world went to shit.” 

You hummed in understanding, “You know about the things she likes to do?” 

“I think you’re treading a very thin line here.” He warned. 

“I’m not trying to do anything Tommy,” You spoke defensively, “She follows him around like a lost puppy, I’ve not seen her make any friends, I just wanted to try and do something nice for her to make her feel welcome.” 

Tommy sighed, “Space,” He replied simply, “Joel said she liked space, wanted to be an astronaut or something like that, and she's attached to that Walkman like it's her lifeline,” He was focusing on not hitting his fingers with the hammer, “Maria actually put aside a box of things she thought she might like, with the baby she hasn’t had time to take it over, but maybe if you drop back with me later you can drop it off for us?” 

“Sounds good,” You responded, “Will he be there?” 

Tommy smirked, “No, he’s on evening patrol on the fence tonight so nothing to worry about.” 

“I’m not worried Tommy.” 

“Sure, that’s why your nails are bitten down and you’ve been chewing at your lips since he arrived,” Your eyes widened, he was always the more astute of the brothers, “You used to do that before, when you were worried about things.” 

“Well like I said, I’m not worried about anything.” You mumbled. 

“Whatever you say, Sunshine,” He winked at you, “I finished hammering that about five minutes ago, you can let go now.” 

*** 

The box was heavy in your arms – you silently cursed Maria for filling it up so much, what was even in here? You could see a few books on the top and an empty notepad and there was some material at the bottom that could only be clothing. You thanked the Gods for not allowing the bottom to drop out of it, setting it down on the porch before knocking on the door of the house Tommy had pointed at when you were walking back to his. 

It took a while for someone to answer, but the door was eventually ripped open, and Ellie was stood in front of you, trying to catch her breath. 

“Oh hey,” She greeted, “Joel’s not here.” 

“Lucky me, because I’m actually here to see you,” You smiled, tapping the cardboard box on the floor with your foot, “Maria sent me over with a few things she thought you might like.” 

Ellie bent down to pick it up but you beat her to it, “It’s heavy, let me bring it inside for you.” 

She smiled and moved in the doorway to let you pass. The inside of their home was exactly as you’d imagine it to be, it wasn’t that much different to how yours had been when you moved in. Simple and bare save for the few pieces of furniture, a coffee mug was sat on the table near the kitchen – if Joel was half he man he had been before that would be his, half full of coffee that he’d drunk before leaving for patrol. 

“You can set it down on the table.” Ellie directed, which you did, taking hold of the coffee cup to find it was exactly how you’d imagined, half full of coffee which was still slightly warm, Joel had left recently. 

You watched as Ellie started going through the box, taking out the books to read the back of them before setting them down and investigating the clothes, seemingly happy with what Maria had chosen. 

“I hope you don’t mind but I brought you something too,” You spoke quietly, fishing around in your jacket pocket before pulling out a CD, “I don’t know if it’s your sort of music, but I’ve seen you with your Walkman around town and though you’d like something different to listen to.” 

She took the CD gratefully, “Foo Fighters, what kinda name is that?” 

You giggled, “You know they were actually pretty good, I listened to them all the time before all this, trust me.” 

“You sure you don’t wanna keep it?” Ellie asked, trying to pass it back to you. 

“I don’t have anything to listen to it on, so it’s all yours, I wanna know what you think of it though.” You gave her a smile and a wink. 

“Thanks,” She said, “This is actually super cool.” 

You knew you couldn’t linger too long here; you didn’t want to outstay your welcome and make Ellie feel uncomfortable. You wanted to do something nice for her so she would tell Joel. Then you’d be front and center in his mind. He might even thank you himself and surely that meant opening a conversation with him. Baby steps, you kept telling yourself. 

“You’re welcome,” You reached out and squeezed her shoulder, “And if you ever need anything else you can always ask me, I know how hard it can be to settle here after being… out there.” 

Ellie nodded at you, and you excused yourself, heading home and hoping you’d planted a big enough seed to grow. 

***

The next morning, as Joel was setting breakfast on the table for Ellie before she went to school, the seed started to bloom. 

“Your girlfriend came round last night.” 

“Excuse me?” 

“You know that woman you knew from before, the one we met at the bar?” 

“Ellie, she ain’t my girlfriend,” Ellie shrugged at Joel’s answer, shoveling eggs into her mouth, “What was she doin’ here?” 

“Bought some box of stuff Maria set aside for me,” She said with her mouth full, earning a glare from Joel at her table manners, “She bought me this awesome CD as well, did you ever hear of the Foo Fighters?” 

Joel nodded, trying not to remember that the only reason he did was because you had insisted on keeping that damn CD in his truck – it had been the background noise to most of your evening escapades when you couldn’t be in his bed. It wasn’t his particular cup of tea, but he had always liked watching you out of the corner of his eye as he drove you to your spot, tapping your fingers on the side of the car and singing along when the moment took you. 

“Well, I hope you said thank you.” Joel grumbled, drinking the last of his coffee, “Now come on, you’ll be late.” 

As Joel stood on the porch and watched Ellie walk down the street to school he cursed you. Cursed you for being the sweet little girl he always remembered and making Ellie happy, because now he’d have to seek you out and thank you himself. Running a hand over his face he resolved to do it today, better to get it over with instead of dwelling on things. 

***

You were bent over the bench in the tool shed taking inventory when a knock at the door pulled you from your counting. Tommy had asked you to take stock of what materials were left after you’d repaired the fence the previous day and although it was giving you a headache it was distracting work, having to concentrate on something that wasn’t Joel. 

“Come in!” You called, not looking up from the pile of nails you were counting, you scribbled the number you’d already counted to on a slip of paper, dropping the rest back in the tub to continue counting later. 

Turning around, Joel was leant on the doorframe, arms crossed over his chest. In the daylight and up close he was just as devastating as he’d been all those years ago. You silently willed the giddy feeling in your bones to go away. 

“Not interrupting anything am I?” He asked, nodding his head towards the bench. 

“Not at all, it’s a welcome break actually, only so many nails you can count before you go insane,” You laughed, hoping he would do the same, but his face was as stoic as ever, “Do you need something?” 

He let out a sigh, “I just wanted to say thank you for what you did for Ellie yesterday, she’s been through a lot, and this is an adjustment to say the least, so thank you.” 

You smiled at him, “You’re welcome,” you replied simply, “I’ve seen her wandering around with that Walkman attached to her so figured she could use something new to listen to,” You started rambling now, “I can’t even believe I managed to find it, it was just hanging out in some old store we stumbled through a few years back and all I could think about what how we used to listen to it in your truck when you’d….” Your eyes went wide as you stopped yourself from finishing your sentence, this wasn’t how you wanted this to go, “Sorry.” You mumbled, looking down from his eyes to your fingers where you set to work worrying at a bit of loose skin. 

“It’s alright,” He spoke, “If I’m bein’ honest it’s exactly what I thought about when she showed me last night.” 

“Oh,” You exclaimed, snapping your eyes up to him, “Have you thought about me much?” 

“Darlin’,” He spoke softly, “It’s best not to talk about it, I don’t want to upset you.” 

You nodded, “That means no then right?” You replied, “Because if you had you would have said because that would have made me happy, saying you don’t want to upset me means you didn’t.” 

“It was easier that way,” He admitted softly, “Convincing myself you were gone.” 

“Wish I could say the same,” You shrugged, “Was there anyone else?” 

You didn’t know where all this was coming from and you were half expecting him to tell you to shut your mouth and mind your own business, but to your surprise he answered, “There was one woman, her name was Tess, it wasn’t…” He trailed off, trying to find the right words, “It just made sense, we ran in the same circle, and I guess we just helped distract each other sometimes.” 

“Understandable.” You replied simply, itching to get yourself out of the conversation now. 

“What about you, was there anyone else?” 

You laughed, “Travelling across country trying to keep my dad alive isn’t really conducive to that sort of thing, so no Joel, there was no-one else,” He nodded in understanding but didn’t move to speak again, “I should really get back to this.” You mused, pointing to the bench. 

“Of course, sorry for takin’ up your time, and thank you again, Ellie really did appreciate it.” 

Joel left without another word, closing the door quietly behind him and all the frustration you’d felt came tumbling out. Angry tears pricked at your eyes at your stupidity that he’d have thought about you at all. You were only ever the stupid little girl with her stupid little crush and the moment he had the opportunity to forget you he did. Of course he did. You wiped at your cheeks furiously, willing your emotions to get themselves in check so you could go back to work, but for the rest of the day you’d catch yourself in your melancholy, tears threatening to fall and your mind completely distracted. This was not how this was supposed to go at all. 

***

“You should have seen his face!” Your father roared at the table, “White as a ghost when I woke up.” 

You weren’t sure how you’d made it here but you were sat at a table in The Tipsy Bison with your father and Tommy, along with Joel and Ellie, whilst your father recounted stories of your survival, telling them with an enthusiasm that would rival a war veteran speaking about their time in the forces. He was currently going through the motions of explaining how you’d made it to Jackson and how he thought Tommy was going to pass out when he realized it was the both of you he’d rescued. 

You’d mostly kept quiet, only popping into the conversation to correct him when he got something wrong. Otherwise you kept your focus on the glass of whiskey in front of you that Tommy was keeping topped up with the bottle he’d bought from the bar for you all. 

“How’d you get that scar on your face?” You looked up at Ellie, everyone else looking at her in horror for being so blunt. 

“Ellie, don’t be so nosey.” Joel chastised her. 

“It’s alright,” You shrugged, “It’s pretty lame actually, we’d shut ourselves in a house a few years ago trying to hide from a pack of infected, not realizing someone else had the same idea. I was looking out the window to see if we had a clear route out when I heard someone shuffling behind me. I turned around and by the time I realized what was happening he’d slashed the knife on my face.” 

“Did you kill him?” 

“Ellie!” Both Tommy and Joel burst out at the same time. 

You chuckled, realizing you probably shouldn’t encourage her questions, but replied anyway, “In a way I guess I did, we had a bit of a struggle and he tripped and fell out of the window, it was a tall building so yeah, he died.” 

“That’s cool.” 

You shrugged, looking around the table to see that everyone was willing the conversation to move elsewhere, you were itching to know more about how Joel and Ellie had come to be together aside from the snippets Tommy had told you, but you didn’t think this would be the right place to ask. Instead, you fished a cigarette out of your jacket pocket, shoving it between your lips and excusing yourself. 

You were halfway through it, leaning against the railing outside the bar when you felt someone come up behind you and lean themselves down next to you, “Never thought I’d see the day when you turned to those.” 

“Well, I’m not surprised if you spent the last twenty years convincing yourself I was dead,” You shrugged at Joel, as always, alcohol emboldening your tone, “I’ve gotta die of something and I’d rather these than being torn apart limb from limb or sprouting mushrooms from my face.” You punctuated the end of your sentence with a long drag of your smoke, blowing it out into the cool night. 

“How do you always do that?” He asked. 

“Do what?” You raised an eyebrow at him. 

“Make anything seem funny,” He offered, “The world’s gone to shit, everyone we’ve ever really cared for is dead and yet here you are, joking like we’re back to the days before.” 

 “It’s the only way I don’t focus on all the shitty things I’ve done to get here.” 

It was silent between you for a moment. You could have sworn you saw Joel move his hand as if he was going to place it reassuringly on your arm like he always did but he didn’t, even if your head was screaming at him to do it, just to breech the barrier he had up between the two of you. 

“Can I say something?” You asked after a moment. 

He nodded, “I don’t want to step out of line, but I just wanted to say I’m really sorry about Sarah,” You could see him physically tense next to you, “You don’t have to tell me what happened, in fact, it’s probably best you don’t but… I liked her Joel; she was a good kid and she didn’t deserve what happened to her and I’m sorry you had to go through that.” 

“I hate the way you miss me.” He mumbled. 

You looked him dead in the eye for the first time, “I don’t hate the way I miss you,” You spoke honestly, “I think it’s the only thing that kept me alive sometimes, thinking about the chance to see you again, hold your hand or kiss you.” 

He sighed, “You can’t stand there and say that,” He spoke roughly, “With your big eyes beggin’ me to be the man you deserve, I couldn’t be that before all of this and I certainly can’t be that for you now,” and then finally, “We can’t keep doin’ this.” 

You nodded, stubbing out your cigarette and throwing it to the ground in front of the bar, “Understood,” You spoke, giving him a final glance, “Goodnight Joel.” 

PREV | NEXT

[in-death-we-fall]

Murderdolls: Turning The Corner

By Tom Lindgren Photo: Frank White

Hit Parader 462 — March 2003 (drive link)

They say that lightning rarely strikes twice in the same place. But these days you’d have a hard time convincing Joey Jordison about the validity of such a claim. With the immediate, out-of-the-box success of the Murderdolls, Jordison has now played a vital role in helping two bands reach the apex of New Metal acclaim. And while the ‘Dolls have yet to attain the level of fame and fortune enjoyed by Jordison’s “other” band, Slipknot, this trash-’em, bash-’em glam metal unit seems well on their way to grabbing hold of rock and roll’s proverbial gold ring. On their debut disc, Beyond the Valley of the Murderdolls, Jordison and his bandmates— vocalist Wednesday 13, guitarist Acey Slade, bassist Erik Griffin and drummer Ben Graves— have proven that they’ve got what it takes to deliver the kind of high-impact, action-packed sound that a fast-growing legion of today’s fans crave to hear. With all this good stuff goin’ on, we figured what could be better than having a heart-to-heart chat with Jordison and Wednesday about all the positive things happening within their musical lives.

Hit Parader: How satisfied have you been by the kind of reaction that your first album has generated?

Joey Jordison: It’s been great. But one of the first things I learned with Slipknot is that you can’t let any sort of commercial expectations get in the way of what you’re doing. You’ve got to make the music you want to make and then let things just take their course. But since the music of the Murderdolls does have a very broad-based appeal, I would hope that a lot of people would get into it. This isn’t just another one of those records with the kind of depressing lyrics that you hear out there. This music is the polar opposite of that— in fact it’s the polar opposite of just about everything that I’ve heard played in the last decade.

HP: Do you include Slipknot in that assessment?

JJ: Absolutely! I’m not criticizing what we’ve done in that band in any way. But this band was designed to be different, and it is. If I wanted to make the kind of music we make in Slipknot, I just would have waited until we all went back into the studio. But I wanted to do something different. I play guitar here— not drums. There are no masks, and the music is about as fun and exciting as it can be. I’m not saying it’s better… only that it’s different.

HP: The band has received some criticism because of your lyrics. Was that something you anticipated?

JJ: It wasn’t something that surprised me because a lot of people take things on a very superficial basis. They don’t want to delve one inch under the surface because they might end up revealing the truth. Anyone who’s listened to our songs knows that on songs like Graverobbing U.S.A. and Kill Miss America we’re just having fun. That’s the main thing— this is great rock and roll music that is fun to play and fun to listen to. Don’t try to analyze it much more than that.

Wednesday 13: I’m one of those people who is a definite product of his environment. I grew up in North Carolina, which is a conservative place where there really isn’t that much to do. So I was forced to listen to a lot of music and watch a lot of horror movies. That’s the real inspiration for most of my lyrics. I loved movies like Night of the Living Dead and Friday the 13th, and some of the stuff we do plays off of that same kind of mentality. You just can’t take it too seriously.

HP: You’re (sic) sound is an amalgam of old and new. How would you describe the essence of what the Murderdolls are doing?

JJ: It’s rock and roll, that’s the best way that I can describe it. Rock music has lost so much of its edge over the last ten years. What was once this great outlet for rebellion and fun has become this sad-mouthed excuse for bemoaning everything. Our goal was to get rock and roll back on the right path. I like to say that the world needs us right now— that this is the right time for the Murderdolls to make their mark.

13: We’re taking all of our influences, everyone from Motley Crue and Twisted Sister to Alice Cooper and the Sex Pistols and just mixing them all together, shaking them up, and seeing what comes out. It’s just a blast. There’s an edge of craziness and danger to everything that spices it all up and makes it very exciting.

HP: Do you believe that it’s time for so-called “hair metal” to make a comeback?

13: I’ve never trusted any musician that looked too normal. I want my rock and roll heroes to be larger-than-life. Maybe today’s kids don’t know any better because that’s all they’ve been exposed to, but we’re here to show ‘em that you can look cool and sound cool too. It’s really sad that an entire generation of kids have grown up without seeing bands really lay it on the line on stage. I remember seeing the Plasmatics, and watching them destroy everything in their path. That was incredible… that was rock and roll!

JJ: We’re trying to avoid being labeled in any way, but we know that’s asking for the impossible. We’d like everyone to just enjoy what we’re doing, but we know that a lot of people are gonna look at us, listen to the music and call us “glam”, “trash metal”, “hair metal”, whatever. It’s no big deal. We knew from the day we came up with all this, that the Murderdolls were going to shake things up. That’s all that matters. By now, we’ve heard it all, and it’s all okay. We’re presenting something that’s very aggressive, that’s got a definite attitude. We’re not trying to reinvent the wheel here. We’re just trying to make sure that the wheel runs as fast, as loud and as far as it possibly can. This is the kind of rock that I love— the kind of stuff I grew up listening to. The problem is that nobody is playing that kind of music these days. That’s why I keep saying that the Murderdolls are needed now more than ever before.

[finchesslingshott]

HI THERE I JUST FINISHED LISTENING TO THE OUTSIDERS MUSICAL CAST ALBUM HOO BOY WHAT A WILD RIDE HERE ARE MY UNEDITED NOTES BUCKLE IN ITS A LOTTA WORDS

Tulsa ‘67 - 9/10

OK PONY??? HIS VOICE????

Instrumental i love you

“I know there’s so much more to life than what’s in front of me” UGHHH MY HEART

THIS IS ACTUALLY A BANGER WHAT THE HECK??

THE RUNS??? PONY???

I love tenors

The lyrics are just so simple and plain and straight-forward it really like emphazises the fact that pony’s only supposed to be 14-15 in this

“Building up the west side while the east side falls apart” WOAH

THE CHORDDDDD OH MY GOSH

“WE ARE GREASERS!” UGH IM SOBBING

PONYYYYYYY HIS VOICE I’M DYING HE’S PHENOMENAL

Grease Got a Hold - 10/10

Soda your voice- UGH IT’S PHENOMENAL (or maybe it’s dally? I’m not sure I’m bad at distinguishing voices)(pretty sure it's soda tho)

THE. FREAKING. SAXAPHONE.

WOAHHH OH MY GOSH OK RAPPER ERA I LOVE YOU SODA AND TWO-BIT

The harmonies have me ascending

“I LOVE YOU SUPERMAN” I’M SOBBING

THE HARMONIES. OH MY GOODNESS.

THE RUN????? YES?????

Runs in the Family - 8/10

DARRY I LOVE YOU.

“Now i’m stuck between the role of a brother and a father” 

The instrumental is so Hamilton-coded (specifically the smooth cello) and I love it

That was too short but oh my GOSH.

Great Expectations - 10/10

“Lately I’ve been thinking ‘bout that little orphan boy / whose parents died and left him all alone” MY HEART THE ABANDONMENT TRAUMA MY POOR BABY

“And I wonder / Is that orphan story mine?”

This is gonna be the one I’m gonna kin most you watch and wait

The EMOTIONS.

“I look around at all of my friends / but still I feel alone” OH MY GOSH

“I would follow them into battle but / this story isn’t mine”

THE HARMONIES. I’M IN TEARS.

PONYBOY CURTIS. YOU HAD NO RIGHT HITTING ME WITH A HIGH B RIGHT NOW

“It’s hard to write the story / when the story’s writing me”

Friday at the Drive-in - 8.5/10

THE INSTRUMENTAL? I LOVE YOU ORCHESTRA

CHERRY’S VOICE??? YES MA’AM ATE IT UP

THE HARMONIES. THE HARMONIES.

This sounds like the most fun number in the show like just from the sounds i’m hearing i need to see this show like right now

THAT WAS TOO SHORT BUT OH MY LORD

I Could Talk to You All Night - 9.5/10

Cherry your voice is so beautiful I love you

Just kiss Pony already hurry up /j

PONYBOY CURTIS. YOUR VOICE. MARRY ME.

I never shipped Cherry and Pony in the book or the movie but like- half of me is kinda-

THE HARMONIESSSSS I LOVE THEM.

“It was the first time in my life someone actually listened to me like that.”

UGH I LOVE YOU BOTH

Runs in the Family (Reprise) - 8.5/10

Soda’s dialogue in between Darry’s singing has me sobbing i love them

“I’ll fold the laundry… I’LL FOLD ALL OF IT!” i love you soda

Darry’s voice urgh I love tenors

“I try to keep you from the fire / but I’m the one that’s getting burned”

Darry mental breakdown song I’m living for it

THE RUN??? DARREL CURTIS???

“What’s the use of dreaming of a life I’ll never know?”

THE SHOUTING MATCH?? 

CALLING SODA “YOUR KNUCKLEHEAD BROTHER” IS COMPLETELY UNCALLED FOR HE’S LITERALLY RIGHT THERE DARRY

The drama the emotion I’m here for it

Far Away from Tulsa - 9.5/10

Ponyboy singing his rear off in this musical and I’m so grateful for it KEEP MY BOY SINGING

Yes romanticise your dreams king I love you

“Santa Fe” from Newsies’ depressed younger cousin fr

This song is for the kids dreaming of running away with their best friend and leaving their entire life behind

Oops another song to kin

AWWWWWH JOHNNY YOUR VOICE I LOVE YOU

“And every night we’d stare up at the stars”

THE HARMONIES I LOVE THEM

I never shipped these guys either but like I can see it tbh

THE CALLBACK TO “GREAT EXPECTATIONS”

ONCE AGAIN PONYBOY YOU AND YOUR HIGH NOTES ARE BREAKING ME APART I LOVE YOU

I needed more Johnny but it’s okay

Run Run Brother - 9.5/10

The opening dialogue already breaking my heart Pony sounds so panicked

Johnny your little voice i love you

Once again these lyrics are so straightforward

THE HARMONIES

Dally I love you

THIS IS ACTUALLY SUCH A BOP WHAT

DALLY YOUR VOICE UGH ITS SO GOOD

It’s so cohesive to the book’s story I love it thank you S.E. Hinton for not completely changing the entire plot I wouldve lost my mind

“Even though it kills me to say / run run brother / run take cover” MY HEART IS DEAD

The ensemble/chorus vocals in the background are making it almost like eerie I love this

“You can run (?) from the fire / but you’re bound to get burned” FORESHADOWING

Johnny I love your speaking voice I need more of it

USING THE TRAIN SOUNDS I LOVE IT

Justice for Tulsa - 9/10

The beat is so Hamilton-coded /pos

Dallas hecking Winston I love you

Once again the chorus vocals adds a layer of like tension I never could’ve imagined

CHERRY!!!! HEY POOKIE!!!!

“When it was only you and me alone / I saw a side of you I wished you’d known”

HEY RANDY OMG IT’S MY FAVORITE SIDE CHARACTER

“We were only having fun” urgh my heart this poor boy

Cherry standing up for Pony and Johnny go girl go

Is this the closer of act one? Cuz HOLY HECK

SOCS VOCALS I LOVE YOU GUYS

RANDY LET’S HECKING GO

THE HARMONIES OH MY GOSH

Death’s at My Door - 8.7/10

Once again freaking PONYBOY CURTIS I LOVE YOUR VOICE WITH MY ENTIRE SOUL

This feels like a Phoebe Bridgers song and honestly I am so freaking here for it

“Johnny can’t you see / I’ve brought this on / you should move on / you’d be better off without me” oh so he’s HURT okay

UGH JOHNNY YOUR SWEET LITTLE VOICE MY ANGEL

“The reason I’m living is you” THE HARMONIES, THE STATEMENT, MY BOYS

I LOVE THEM

Once again WAY TOO SHORT but URGH SO GOOD

I need a Phoebe Bridgers cover asap

Throwing in the Towel - 9/10

OK STRING INSTRUMENTAL?? I LOVE YOU ORCHESTRA

Darry’s voice urhghahaddskflgfhlksfdlhdgls

YIPPEE ANOTHER DARRY BREAKDOWN SONG I’M LOVING THE VULNERABILITY THAT WE NEVER SAW IN THE BOOK

Soda I love you

URGH SODA’S VOICE IT’S JUST SO ALGSJDFDHSKDLASDFKLS MY BEAUTIFUL BOY

Lil brother therapy session

“We gotta get our brother HOOOOOMEEEE” Soda your voice is just so phenomenal I love you

THE HARMONIESSSSSSS 

“We need you more than ever now / don’t go throwing in the towel” you go Soda encourage your brother therapy friend king 

Someone give these boys a hug for me I love them

THE HARMONIES MY HEART

Soda’s Letter - 9.5/10

THE INSTRUMENTAL ALONE MADE ME SAID “OH NOOOO D’:”

“Ponyboy this house ain’t a home without you” OH YOU’RE JUST GONNA BREAK MY HEART JUST LIKE THAT

“Your brother needs you just as much as you need him / and brother we ain’t doing so good alone” MY HEART

The vulnerability in this moment I can picture soda just in tears I’m sure that’s not how it’s set but let me have this okay

THE HARMONIES

“P.S. Say hey to Johnny for us :D”

URGH TOO SHORT AGAIN

Hoods Turned Heroes - 10/10

THE INSTRUMENTAL IS ALR FIRE WOAH

WAIT IS THIS CURLY WHAT’S-HIS-NAME???? OR HIS BROTHER?? WTV HIS NAME IS???

HIS VOICE IS FIRE NO MATTER WHO HE IS

This is actually such a banger no fair

“SOMEONE GOT ROBBED / SOMEONE GOT MUGGED / SOMEONE HAD A RUN IN WITH THE GREASER HOOD”

Gosh I love tenors literally so much 😭

WAYYYY TO SHORT OH MY GOOSH

Hopeless War / Trouble - 10/10

THIS SOUNDS LIKE ANOTHER BOYGENIUS SONG JUST FROM THE FIRST LIKE 2 SECONDS

PREPPING FOR EMOTIONAL DESTRUCTION

Uh-oh another song to kin

I love them

“Now that Johnny’s hurt and Bob has died / when will we be satisfied?” MY HEART

THIS CHORUS CHERRY YOU’RE KILLING ME

THE MOOD CHANGE????

OH MY GOSH THE INSTRUMENTAL

THE STRINGGGSSSSS (as a cello player i’m deceasing)

“DO IT FOR JOHNNY”

Little Brother - 9.7/10

ONCE AGAIN the bass + drum combo killing me 

OOO THE EMOTION DALLY

“Who would they beat on / if we weren’t around?”

THE FALSETTO????

“Little brother / sorry I failed you / i could not save you / no i can’t even save myself” DALLY???? ARE YOU OKAY BABE???

I can just picture him absolutely UNRAVELING at the point, javert-style

“They can’t take nothin’ more from me / If I ain’t got you / then I ain’t got nothin’ else” EXCUSE ME?????

“If anything was fair / you would still be here” DYING

DALLY YOUR VOICE I LOVE YOU

THE EERIE STRINGS USFJDLKFJGKFSDJ THE ORCHESTRA KID IN ME IS DECEASING

THE TENSION IN THE MUSIC??? THE BUILD UP

OH MY GOSH??

“JOHNNY CAN YOU SEE ME NOWWWWWW”

WAS THAT A TRAIN??? THAT’S NOT HOW IT WAS IN THE BOOK????

I’M SO CONFUSED AND SAD ALL AT THE SAME TIME?????

MY BOY????? COME BACKKK?????

Stay Gold - 10/10

JOHNNY???? BABE?????

“Swore I wasn’t ready to die / turns out I was wrong” LITERALLY STOP I’M SOBBING

Once again all I can think about is Phoebe Bridgers

“When you’re young / and the world is new / it’s easy to forget when all you’re tryna do is make it through”

Wuh-oh kinning a song again

“I’ll hold on to the good / cause I’ve made peace with all the bad”

THE HARMONIES I’M IN TEARS

“There’s still a whole lotta good in the world. Tell Dally. I don’ think he knows”

The harmonies and you can hear like the strain and emotion in Pony’s voice

YOU’RE NOT ALLOWED TO DO THAT TO ME

Finale (Tulsa ‘67) - 9.7/10

YES FULL-CIRCLE MOMENT I LOVE YOU

“I use to idolize the actors on the screen / I looked like Newman like a king / and now I look at what my brothers did for me / they’re the reason I’m standing right now”

“Darrel you’re the toughest guy I know / it just took me too long to see / Soda you’re this family’s heart and soul / can you imagine how proud Mom and Dad must be?”

THE MONOLOGUE???? BABE???? SOMEONE HOLD ME I’M FALLING APART

“This is TUL-SA NINTEEN SIXTY SEVEN” will never cease to get me

DYING LITERALLY SHUT UP PONYBOY I LOVE YOU

“STAYYY GOOOOOLLLLDDDDDD”

Orchestra i love you never change

IN CONCLUSION: 

DARRY AND SODA I LITERALLY LOVE YOU SO MUCH

JOHNNY COME BACK BABY I MISS YOU

I didn’t get enough Randy but maybe that’s just me

ORCHESTRA FREAKING PHENOMENAL

[ladyamanda123]

🎶 They’re burning all the witches even if you aren’t one…..so light me up! 🔥

As I’ve been listening to TTPD, Who’s afraid of little old me keeps scratching something in my brain.

Obviously the line “So I leap from the gallows and I levitate down your street” gives an immediate “they’re burning all the witches” call back. The whole concept of the crazy hysterical dangerous woman who dared to stand up for herself and tell the truth.

But every time I hear that line I picture The Chicks standing together in their Salem Witch Trials looking attire in I’m Not Ready To Make Nice, holding hands and telling the world fuck you! I’m pissed!

So I finally sat down this morning and watched the music video (which I haven’t for years) and WOW! 🤯 Watch it guys!

The black and white imagery….the dress….the insane asylum….so much Fortnight music video connections!

The way they start off in white then end up on black just like Taylor in Fortnight.

We know Taylor loves The Chicks and how they were used as a Clara Bow of sorts in her early career…..warning warning….don’t be like them! Be the nice girl!

I think this link was intentional. It’s sad seeing how the entertainment industry takes women and chews them up and then brands them as crazy dangerous hysterical women when they break the status quo and start speaking up. That has been Taylor’s whole career. When she does what the world wants…plays the nice girl, dates the football star, writes the love songs, it’s all good. When she gets messy and real and speaks the uncomfortable truths…

(Like say….. “I choose the 1830s but without all that racism and toxic patriarchy”)

Everyone recoils…..no one wants to hear those things because then we would have to acknowledge them and change them.

One other image kept coming to mind as well. The intro to the movie Practical Magic….the whole leap from the gallows….

Combined with the Burning all the witches line it definitely ties this album to the reputation era.

I really hope reputation tv and those vault tracks she herself says are 🔥 (more burning the witches imagery!) will be her claiming her failed coming out. It really does feel like she’s replaying that whole time of her life again for us. The performance art is so loud. TTPD is the very veiled first step like rep was.

It makes me wonder if maybe someday we might get a new version of Lover….the way it was supposed to be. One can hope!

[highhhfiveee]

melodic stoner thotz

i’ve ALSO been having this silly thought about stoner!mike (who we haven’t seen in so long, i’m so sorrrrry). pls enjoy these unedited, unproofread thoughts that i typed instead of doing my work.

i listened to brie larson’s version of black sheep the other day (plus roomie and i watched the new scott pilgrim show, 8/10) and i started thinking about popstar!reader. hear me out;

you’re in a girl group, one that i currently have no name for, and you’re starting to gain traction in the states after releasing your debut album; you make high energy pop bops that emphasize on being true to yourself and standing up for what’s right with three other girls you’d met in the hallway at auditions. you’re grateful for the opportunity of course, but it’s not exactly what you’d wanted for your music career.

you have little creative control, and you’re told to sing and dance and dress a certain way; it’s a dream and a nightmare in one, and sometimes it has you wanting to leave the group all together, starting from scratch with music you actually loved.

you’re thinking about marching to the execs with your grievances when your manager sends a message to the group chat: WE’RE OPENING FOR [unnamed band that’s as big as say…the 1975 lmao] ON THEIR FALL TOUR!!!

you loved [unnamed band] and to support them on the North American leg of their tour is something you know you’d be idiotic to walk away from.

the city mike and abby live close to is stop 4 out of 10, and you’d been doing good with keeping up your charade of happiness. you sing and dance your ass off every night, knowing that you’re here and you can’t waste a moment of it; millions of aspiring musicians had wanted this but you’d finally made it to the stage.

you rarely ever fumbled during performances, a perfectionist at heart, but during the verse of one of your mid tempo songs, your eyes somehow gaze past the blinding stage lights and focus on abby (who you don’t know as abby of course lol), shouting every single word back to you with silly shimmies and head bobs.

you laugh, consumed with butterflies at the fact that she was enjoying your set so much. you’re enthralled by her energy, and it causes you to miss your cue for the prechorus. you giggle it off though you’re flustered, singing, “we have a lot of songs, my badddddd” to the melody of the music.

it makes the crowd explode with laughter, and you use that to propel you through the rest of your set, still looking towards abby as you present the outro during your final song. “thank you all so much, we love you! [bandmate 1] and i will be by the merch table once we’re off stage, and we hope to see you some of your faces there! are you all ready to see [unnamed band]????”

the crowd roars, and you watch as abby and the guy next to her disappear through the throng of people.

abby rushes straight for you once you’re sat at the merch stand, her cheeks flushed as she holds out her t-shirt for you. it’s one from your group’s first small tour, one where you’d gone to small cities throughout the country for as much exposure as possible. it was a size to big for her, draping down to her thighs. “y/n, i love you!!! can you please sign my shirt?”

“of course, cutie. i saw you dancing to [song name], is that one of your favorites?” abby nods excitedly as you scribble her name on your shirt, accenting it with a heart. you glance up at mike, who just stands behind her observing your interaction. he’s high as shit of course; he’d been a blob next to abby, really, bleary eyes and stationary, but seeing him this close revealed to you the stoner boy of your dreams.

“i take it you’re a big fan too?” you point the end of your marker at this chest. he’s wearing the same old tour shirt as abby, but his fits him well. he can’t believe your focus has moved to him now, and even though he should feel cool and calm off the edible he took before your set, your enticing gaze has him grasping for straws inside his mind.

“uh well, i…i really do it all for her, but you guys do have some solid songs. got some on your album that make me feel all powerful and sexy when i listen to them.” you both chuckle, and you motion for him to give you your hand.

you scribble your number onto his hand in red ink, musing, “well, i always love to hear what people think about our stuff. maybe…when i’m done with tour, you could tell me more over a joint or something?”

mike’s mouth goes dry, drier than it already was, but he’s nodding all languidly, leaving you with a small smirk when you give him his hand back. “yeah, yeah. sounds like a plan.”

this is kind of messy but do you all see the vision????? a full fic would be wayyyyy more structured and detailed, but i just NEEDED to get this idea out and i wanna know what you all think 🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔 (it would be like safety net with more smut and a tinge more angst, but definitely fluffy as hell too. like you confide in mike about the reality of your situation and he encourages you to fight for what you believe in, like one of your group’s songs ;-; still there’s lots of drama between you and the other members and the LABEL and so many entertainment people——me thinks it would go kind of nuts)

[themultifandomgal]

From 2010- Up All Night Listen Party

2011

Part 13

I sit on a sofa between Louis and Zayn cheering that our first Album is out next week! A woman named Dianna, who is the interviewer, sits on a chair next to us

“Hello! It’s been a bit of an amazing year for you I believe. I’ve got a small note of all of your achievements so far. Ok, UK fastest selling single with What Makes You Beautiful and a sold out tour, you excited!”

“Yeah” we all shout smiling

“I’ve also heard the fans have made paper dolls of you” as soon as Dianna says that the fans here for the live party throw the dolls at us. One nearly hits my face, but Zayn is quick to catch it

“Carful” Niall laughs

“Ok so the fans have got quests for you. Ok the first one is why is the album called up all night?” Niall hands the microphone to me

“YN wants to answer this”

“Thanks” I chuckle rolling my eyes “errm It’s called up all night because it’s just a big party really. When we’re together we end up staying up all night just chatting, playing games, watching movies. Also it’s named after a song” I hand the microphone back to Dianna

“Ok perfect. Next question what was your favourite thing about making the album?”

“Being in the the recording studio, but also filming the music videos was sick” Louis says

“I enjoyed the writing process, I didn’t think I’d enjoy writing songs as much as I have done” I say leaning over to Louis who’s still holding the microphone.

“Ok which song is the hardest one to sing?”

“What makes you beautiful because I have to sing that top harmony” Niall says then passes the microphone to Liam

“I would say for me, off the extended version, moments because it’s high”

“Save you tonight because of that chorus is so high” Louis passes the microphone to me

“Vocal wise stole my heart because I have to go from low into head voice so quick, but emotionally more than this. Ahhh hits me in the feels” I say before handing the mic to Zayn

“I’d have to say it’s between save you tonight and tell me a lie”

“I would say what makes you beautiful because it’s high” Harry finishes off and we pass the mic back to Dianna.

We then listen to some music before getting back into the interview. Dianna gives us some cookies while we are asked more questions

“Ok. Would you rather meet queen of England or Megan fox?”

“I know what these boys would say” I laugh

“Who’s that?”

“Megan Fox obviously. I’d say the Queen”

“You’d have tea and scones with her” Harry says in the typical posh British accent

“Love me a cuppa tea” I say nodding

“If you could add a 7th member to the group who would it be?”

“Another girl!” I yell “any girl!” everyone laughs at me

“Do you guys cook?”

“Yeah sometime. Louis’ a good cook” Liam says pointing to Louis

“Can you give us your favourite lyrics from the album”

“I like your friends look good but you look better” Harry says

“I like get out of my head and fall into my arms instead”

“I love that one. Ok next question do you cry when you hear any of your songs?”

“Yes! More than this. How I’m gonna sing it on tour I have no idea” I say

“I got teary eyed just listening to it last night so I can’t imagine how you will feel singing it”

“More than this is an emotional song anyway but now I can relate to that song more now than when we recorded it”

“What song off the album makes you happy. Zayn” Dianna hands the mic to Zayn

“Everything about and up all night”

“We’re moving on and playing some more music”

We carry on doing the watch party shock we have a lot of fun with. Then I head back home with Louis and Harry.