#I’ve been heart palpitations all day over this

[ghouladventures]

WISH ME LUCK

[mydearlybeloathed]

── 𝐆𝐄𝐓 𝐒𝐎𝐌𝐄 𝐒𝐋𝐄𝐄𝐏

𝐬𝐮𝐦𝐦𝐚𝐫𝐲: you just can't get to sleep thanks to a terrible rainstorm terrorizing the ship. luckily, your tossing and turning inspired nami with an idea: just go sleep with the swordsman.

𝐩𝐚𝐢𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠: roronoa zoro x fem!reader

𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐝 𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐭: 1k

don' ask about the aesthetic k? k 💙

𝐎𝐏 𝐌𝐀𝐒𝐓𝐄𝐑𝐋𝐈𝐒𝐓

With how the hail storm rattled against the hull of the ship, and how the vessel careened on the waves, you were at a loss as to how Nami was fast asleep already.

The crew had settled down for sleep hours ago, the laughter and teasing from dinner falling into a soft silence draping over each and every one of you—well, except you, that is.

Even after months at sea, the incessant rocking had you curling into yourself, headache blooming under the skin of your temples. Groaning, you rolled around on your sheets, burying your face in your pillow as you shoved the blanket off your shoulders and down your body. Chill air hit you instantly, a contrast to the sweat rising from your skin. All you wanted was sleep, but your ears rang with the sound of rainfall and the far off thunder rumbling through the sky.

You tossed and turned again and again, rest ever so far away and the sway of the Going Merry making kept your mind alert with all its tilts and jumps. Yet another grunt of frustration huffed from your lips, and Nami finally sprang up, glaring at you from across the cabin.

“What’s wrong?” she demanded, her eyes heavy and her annoyance high.

Great. Now Nami was upset, which usually lasted a whole day if you were unlucky. You didn’t bother turning back to look at her, digging yourself deeper into your blanket. “Sorry…”

She sighed and rubbed at her cheek, gaze drifting over your exhausted form, taking in what she could in the dark. Settling back down, Nami said what she’d been thinking for the past two hours of listening to you loll around restlessly. “Just go sleep with Zoro.”

A beat passed, your eyes slowly opening as you tried to convince yourself you’d heard her wrong. You flipped around and gaped at the girl slinking into her sheets with a smirk you would catch through any dark room. “What? Why would I—Why would you—Nami!”

She chuckled darkly, her bright eyes finding yours. Nami propped her head up on her hand. “It wouldn’t be the first time, right?”

Trying and failing to make a comeback, you opened and closed your mouth like a gaping fish, settling on crossing your arms over your chest. “That’s none of your business.”

“Uh-huh,” she drawled. “But I’ve got dawn watch and am in desperate need of sleep.” All you did was stare at her, your glare fading. Nami rolled onto her back, offering into the silence, “It’s not like he’ll turn you away.”

You tried so very hard to let her logic roll off your shoulders, but it was cold (Zoro was warm) and you were tired (Zoro was a good napping buddy). As appealing as the idea was, you didn’t want to bother him. Zoro was probably just getting back from his night watch, Sanji heading up to the deck in his wake. Zoro wouldn’t turn you away, but he might grumble at you, and sometimes that was worse.

“Stop overthinking,” Nami’s voice whispered through a hiss. “He likes you.”

She was just trying to give you heart palpitations saying stuff like that. “Does not.”

“Mhmm. Get some sleep… with Zoro.”

You threw your pillow across the room, missing her bed by a longshot. You could throw pillows and shout whispered words at her all you wanted—it didn’t change that she had a point.

It wouldn’t be the first time you crawled into Zoro’s hammock late at night, seeking shelter from sleeplessness that seemed to miraculously melt in his embrace. Nami might’ve been right; Zoro might like you, at least more than he liked anybody else. It was confusing most days, but your mind was so mushy with fatigue you didn’t bother running over the finer details of your affections for the swordsman.

You puffed out a huff, eliciting a growl from the dark, “Go. Or neither of us will sleep.”

“Fine.” You threw off your blanket and marched out of the cabin before you could lose your nerve, trudging through the nearly pitch black hall of the Merry. 

You yelped as you tripped over a discarded broom, cursing into the night as you kicked it aside and kept on toward the boy’s cabin. As soon as you laid eyes on the closed door, your footsteps faltered, heart stuttering. 

The ship leaned on the waves and sent you teetering into the wall, and the decision was suddenly easy. You inched the door open gently, wincing at the momentary creak, and slipped inside. 

The boys’ cabin always had a… unique scent to it. Somewhere between burning socks and musk is how Nami described it. Honestly (now, you would never tell her this), you just thought it smelled like Zoro. Though Zoro might’ve been slightly less odorous on good days, you mused.

The swordsman of your infatuation lay in a swaying hammock tied up between two support beams holding up the ceiling. A flash of lightning illuminated his peaceful face for a brief moment, and the room was back to black. 

Collecting your wits, you approached him slowly, careful not to step on any of the clutters the boys left lying about. Lip pinched between your teeth, you stepped around a crate of slingshot ammo Usopp had crafted, catching your foot on the slingshot itself and jumping out of the way. 

You swept the room fretfully, yet no one stirred, the usual snores rising and falling. A sigh puffed form your chest as you turned back to Zoro’s hammock, only to lock eyes with the stoic swordsman as he gazed blearily up at you.

Lurching back, you calmed your racing heart and huffed at him. “You scared me.”

Zoro leaned up on his elbows, confused. “You scared me.” His gaze flickered all over your face. “What’re you doing?”

You fisted your hands, feeling like a deer at headlights, and blurted, “Nami kicked me out.”

Zoro’s brows drew instantly. “What?” He rose halfway when you hand found his chest, gently pushing him back down.

“I mean,” you amended. “I couldn’t sleep, and she got tired of me rolling around…” Bashful in how you averted your eyes, swaying on your feet, “I… sleep better with you. Y’know?”

Not even a second later he tugged on your arm to draw you closer, shuffling over to offer you some room. You smiled softly, falling into the space beside him, molding right into his side. “Yeah, I know.”

Your face warmed, your heart swelled, and you rested your head on the rigid outline of his shoulder, adjusting to find a comfortable place. Zoro’s arm slid under you and curled you further into his side, a sigh pulling from his chest, his muscles literally relaxing under each of your touches. 

There wasn’t a name for what you and Zoro were, not yet anyway, and somehow you were fine with that. He was there, and you were there, and that felt like enough. For now, you let your eyes finally give way to exhaustion, the pelting of the rain growing fainter and fainter. 

Nami was a tease, but she made some good points a lot of the time. You’d have to thank her in the morning, after you finally got to sleep in the arms of your swordsman.

[0310s]

gently, by your side | jaehyun

members: myung jaehyun x gender neutral reader

genre: college au, angst, comfort, best friends! to ???, more platonic stuff in this one

tags/warnings: extensive discussions of mental health and chronic/mental illness, y/n is not okay. :(

summary: jaehyun finds you after a bad week.

wc: 2.7k

a/n: this fic’s title comes from this lovely song. as someone who’s struggled with both chronic and mental illness, it really takes someone strong and amazing to keep on going, despite everything. most of the dialogue in this comes from my own musings and experiences with mental health. i wrote this for a dear mutual of mine! i hope better days will come for you soon, whenever that may be. meanwhile, i hope this gives you comfort when things are tough! sending lots of love <3 

𓉞⋆｡˚☁︎｡⋆

5 days ago 1:28 PM 🐶 cutie puppy

(y/n) we haven’t seen each other in such a loooong time imy :(( i mean i KNOW it’s just been a couple of days since we last hung out but still!!!!!!! when are we seeing each other again !!!! tell me ur schedule QUICK !!!!

4 days ago 6:33 PM 🐶 cutie puppy

heeeeyyyyyyyyy (with the intention to hang out) heeeeeeyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy heeeeeeeeeeeeyyyyyyy reply to meeeeeeeeeee!!!!!!!!!! tell me when ur free pls i miss u :((

3 days ago 11:58 PM 🐶 cutie puppy

hey i didn’t see u at the party today i thought u said u were going last week!!!  also i asked around and people said they haven’t seen u around recently??? and they don’t know what ur up to

2 days ago 2:05 PM 🐶 cutie puppy

heeeyyyy ?????????? did i do smth?????  or are u just really busy w school and work idk either way pls just let me know :(( i won’t bother u if ur rlllyyy busy

10:35 PM sorry if i’m being annoying btw

Yesterday  11:32 PM 🐶 cutie puppy

ok i thought about it reaaaaaallly hard and i don’t think i’ve done anything to make u mad or upset w me??? well aside from that time last last week that u got mad at me for accidentally messing w ur computer and deleting ur work files WHICH IM LIKE REALLY SORRY FOR but i fixed it!!!!! i thought we were good alrd!!! are u still mad at me 4 that ?

1:00 AM (y/n)?

1:28 AM idk  i thought i was ur best friend :(( did smth change???

2:47 AM pls pls reply :(( i know we can talk this out i don’t want us to not be ok

Today  3:00 PM 🐶 cutie puppy i’m coming over.

𓉞⋆｡˚☁︎｡⋆

Sitting up from your bed, your heart thuds in anxiety as you quickly scroll through your chat history with Jaehyun. Your eyes hurt and your brain feels especially foggy, like you’re looking at the world through a particularly cloudy lens. How long did you sleep? The last thing you recall was working on your assignments last night, then choosing to sleep instead when you got overwhelmed. Even then, you slept fitfully. You remember setting an alarm at 9 AM today to continue working, but even as you sat at your desk, you couldn’t type a single sentence on your laptop. Everything felt muddled and it was as if you couldn’t understand anything at all. Even the cups of coffee you drank in desperation was of no use keeping you alert; all it did was make you palpitate.

Then you gave up, went back to bed, and you’re here now. Checking the chat timestamps, you realize you haven’t replied to Jaehyun’s messages in almost a week, which has never happened before—you talk almost everyday, even multiple times a day. Jaehyun’s last message was at 3 PM, when he said he’d come over. One look at your screen shows you it’s already 3:20. If you’ve memorized his schedule right, it takes your best friend thirty minutes to get to your dorm from his Fundamental Maths class. That means you have ten more minutes to get your shit together and clean your mess of a room. 

But right when you’ve mustered the energy to stand up, you hear a series of knocks on your door. That can’t be— “(Y/n), open up, I know you’re in there!” Jaehyun’s voice echoes from outside the door. “I asked your dormmate and she said you haven’t left your room since yesterday, so there’s no use pretending!” Shit, shit, shit! You immediately spring up and hastily fold your blankets and organize your desk, throwing away stray food wrappers and plastic cups. You open your blinds to let some air in, and the bright sunlight makes your head throb even more. 

On your way to the door, you spot yourself in the mirror. There’s no other word for it—you look like utter shit. Your eyebags are dark and prominent, your hair disheveled from tossing and turning in your sleep. You look horrendous, but Jaehyun is persistently knocking on your door, so you have no choice but to fix yourself up as fast as you can. You splash water on your face and smoothen down your hair and open the door—then there’s Jaehyun in all his glory. Your heart clenches seeing him; he looks as handsome as always, his bangs fluffy and soft and his letterman jacket fashionably oversized. He looks nothing like you in your ratty T-shirt with coffee stains and pajama shorts. His hand is halfway raised, positioned to knock at your door (he could and would probably do it all day if he had to). Upon seeing you, he blurts out: “Did I do something?”

Instead of answering him, you open your door wider as an invitation, and Jaehyun takes the hint, stepping into your dorm. Once the door is shut, Jaehyun peers at your messy room and remarks, “Wow. When was the last time you cleaned up? You’re usually not like this.”

You know he didn’t mean it like that, but his comment stings at you all the same. “Sorry, Jaehyun,” you snap, “not everyone can be at 200% energy all the time like you.” At his hurt expression, you backtrack. “Sorry, that was really rude of me.”

“It-It’s fine,” Jaehyun replies confusedly. Then he looks straight at you, eyes pleading. He’s picking at the stray thread hanging from his jacket, a habit you’ve come to known is something he does when he’s nervous. “You know what, I thought about it. For days, really, if I did anything that would make you mad and ignore me. But I couldn’t come up with anything at all. I was really worried when you didn’t reply to me for days on end, especially when we talk everyday. So if I did something, can—can you just tell me? I just want us to be okay.”

Your throat closes up and your heart pounds even faster, making you feel dizzy. You have no idea how to answer him, when all he’s ever seen of you is the perfect student who does everything right, who’s smart and good at what they do without any flaws or exceptions. How would he react if he saw you for who you really were?

The words can’t form in your mouth, and out of frustration at yourself, you tear up. Jaehyun notices this, eyes widening in worry, “(y/n), baby, no, no,” and pulls you into his arms. Almost instantly, the tears cascade down your face and sobs wrack your body. You feel pathetic crying in your best friend’s arms, but Jaehyun just soothes a hand up and down your back as you break down. His other arm is wrapped around your shoulders, and it feels like your anchor when you’re drowning in all your troubles. “It’s okay, it’s okay,” he says in a hushed tone, “let it all out.” You grip his jacket even tighter as you bury your face in his chest. 

When was the last time you’ve ever been hugged like this? The last time you’ve ever been truly vulnerable to anyone without that mask of perfection you often don? The last time you felt safe just being yourself? You have no idea. All you know that is in the circle of Jaehyun’s arms, you want to be small and imperfect and yourself just this once.

After your cries die down, Jaehyun clears his throat. “I’m sorry,” he whispers. “I don’t know what it is I did, but I’m so sorry for hurting you.”

“It’s not you, Jaehyun,” your voice is muffled by both your sniffles and Jaehyun’s chest. You don’t want Jaehyun to get the wrong idea that he’s hurt you in some way because of how broken he sounds thinking he’s done something to make you sad. “It’s just. Me.”

“You? What do you mean?” Jaehyun leads you into your room from the doorway. He’s holding your hand and doesn’t let go even when you both settle at the edge of your bed. His palm is warm and his grip loose enough in case you want to let go; you don’t. While you muster up the courage to speak, your best friend just sits there, waiting patiently. “It’s okay, whatever you say, I’m not going anywhere.” You don’t know that for sure, but him saying that makes you want to be truthful just this once, damn the consequences.

You take a deep breath, focusing on your intertwined fingers. You’re too scared to look at his face because you don’t want to see his reaction. “Jaehyun, what kind of person do you think people see me as?”

“Well…” He takes a moment to think about it. “Someone smart, talented, and who gets stuff done?”

In turn, you let out an resigned exhale. “Well, that’s the image I project. Of someone who’s perfect… someone who does things effortlessly. People think it comes easy to me. But it doesn’t. When people tell me that I didn’t need much effort to get to where I am now, I feel undermined. When I express I’m having a hard time, people brush it off and think I’m just overreacting. Because they think I’m perfect all the time. But honestly…? That’s the farthest thing from the truth."

Glancing up from your hands, you scan your room—your desk is a mess of papers and assignments that you have yet to get to. You can’t tell when the last time you spent time being actually productive when what you’ve been is fatigued out of your mind. When you try to sit at your desk and work, all you feel is difficulty concentrating and processing work and readings. Sleep has also proven to be elusive—no matter how long you lie in bed, you never feel well-rested. Simple actions and decisions require so much energy from you that you undeniably lack. You also constantly compare yourself to others, whom things like these come natural to them. But you’ve kept these feelings of yours secret for a long time—you’re utterly terrified that you’d be undermined for being useless and overly sensitive.   

“(Y/n)?” Jaehyun squeezes your hand, and you turn to meet his eyes. His eyes are sincere and kind. “I-I know I may not be the most empathic person, but I promise I’ll hear you out without judging you. I want to be here for you… and I hope you’ll let me. Please?” 

At this, you spill everything you’ve been feeling the past weeks—months, even—to Jaehyun. You stumble over your words and your breath gets caught in your throat, but he’s there to pat your back and to encourage you to keep going. Without you knowing, tears make their way down your face once again, and Jaehyun uses his other hand to gently brush them away. “It just gets so hard that I want to just. Give everything up. I don’t know what the use of trying so hard is when I see how other people don’t need this much effort to do even the most basic of tasks. It’s just so… unfair.”

When you’re finished with your rant, you don’t know what to expect from Jaehyun—but you’re stunned to see him crying. He’s sniffling and wiping at his eyes furiously. “Why…” You have no idea what he’s about to say, but you brace yourself for the worst. “Why didn’t you tell me any of this?” he whispers brokenly. “I didn’t know you were having such a difficult time. I feel like such a shitty friend for not even noticing. I’m sorry, (y/n).” Jaehyun’s eyes fill with tears and he starts “I… I thought we were best friends.” The best friends tell each other everything goes unsaid, but you know exactly what he meant.

“I…” You feel awful now for making Jaehyun cry. “You’re just. You just naturally have all this limitless energy. You’re…” Normal. Not like me. “I don’t know how if you were going to take me seriously if I told you what I was going through… There were times I’d see you, and I’d be so disappointed in myself for not being like you. And I was so scared that if I did tell you, I’d be letting you down.”

Jaehyun’s expression grows more miserable at this. “I-I’m sorry, (y/n), I never meant to make you feel unheard. And I never meant for it to feel like you couldn’t tell me about these things.” 

“It-It’s not your fault, Jaehyun,” you protest, but he shakes his head, obviously disappointed in himself.

“No, (y/n), I’m supposed to be your best friend. How stupid can I be if I can’t notice when you’re having a hard time? I didn’t even stop to ask how you’ve been doing because you seemed to be doing fine. But I should’ve known better. I shouldn’t have taken things at face value. I’m such an idiot,” Jaehyun berates himself. “I’m so, so sorry.” 

At his sincere apology, you can’t help but admit it to yourself—you desperately needed Jaehyun’s support as your best friend, but you were too scared to ask for it. And honestly? You felt immensely lonely without his words and presence to comfort you. 

“(Y/n), I hope you know that I see how hard you work. I know your sleepless nights and how much effort you put into every single thing you do. Despite everything you’re going through, you’re always trying to be better than the person you were yesterday, and it’s something I truly admire about you. But I hope you know it’s okay to be imperfect and flawed and to not be okay. I want to be here on your good and bad days. I just wish I could’ve been more vocal about this earlier… I’ve really taken you for granted, huh?” Jaehyun sighs wetly, taking your hand in both of his. He’s still crying; you both are, actually. What a silly pair the two of you make. 

“Thank you for trusting me and sharing all of this. It literally means the world to me,” Jaehyun rambles. “I promise I’ll be a better friend to you, someone you feel safe opening up to about anything, whether that be your achievements or your struggles. And (y/n), if it’s not too much to ask… Could I ask you to be more honest with me in the future?” He stares at you imploringly. “I don’t want you to think you have to go through all of this alone. I want to be here for you the same way you’ve always been there for me… Okay?”

“....Okay. Okay, I’ll try,” you respond softly. “Thank you, Jaehyun. I… I’ve never told anyone about this before. But thank you so much for just listening, and not judging, and accepting me for me…” While you appreciate Jaehyun’s presence at this moment, a new wave of fatigue washes over you with all this emotional vulnerability and talking. “Jaehyun… I’m still feeling really tired, so I might go back to sleep. Sorry, I know you came all the way here to see me, but here I am being shit company,” you apologize regretfully.

“Oh! That’s okay. I’ll see you tomorrow?” Jaehyun stands up from your bed to leave. When your fingers slip from each other, you feel an acute loss of warmth—both in your hands and in your heart. He makes his way to the door, slipping on his shoes, and your heart sinks. There’s something you badly want to ask of Jaehyun, but you’re too much of a coward to tell him what you truly want. You don’t want to be on your own right now, but you’d probably be asking too much of him. Accepting your fate, you settle in bed, attempting to take a nap so restless you’re sure will be of no help to your exhaustion.

However, Jaehyun himself stops in the doorway. He turns back around, a distraught look on his face. “(Y/n)... I don’t want to assume, but are you sure you want to be alone right now?” he begins. “I mean, we just had this really heavy talk. Can… Can I keep you company? I promise I’m great at cuddles—that’s what all my other friends say anyway when I annoy them with my hugs.”

When you nod, that’s all it takes for Jaehyun to shuck off his shoes, strip his jacket, and climb into bed with you. With your ear against his steady heartbeat and his comforting arm around you, you’re asleep in no time. It’s the best you’ve ever slept in months.

[typewritingyip]

The Arcturus Missions

Part Twenty One - A Sense of Struggle

Part Twenty

———

Overuse was not something the companies and governments of the world initially expected, then again the development of a neural interface had been unexpected but welcome.

It had been alarming, when pilots started to mention the irritation around their new implants, which back at the beginning of the program were big and bulky, not easy to hide. Then a list of side effects started to accumulate.

Headaches, migraines, dizziness, vision issues, sensitivity to light and noise, vision loss, loss of hearing, brain damage, fatigue, insomnia, nightmares, short-term memory issues, confusion, brain fog, nausea, vomiting, lack of appetite, inflammation, rash, joint pain, loss of sensation in limbs, muscle degradation, muscle tears, muscle atrophy, loss of bone density, nerve damage, irritation, mood changes, changes in behavior, depression, anxiety, heart palpitations, iron deficiency, tremors, leaking around implants, rejection of implants, fever, increased risk of blood poisoning, sepsis, hallucinations, seizures, paralysis, organ failure, heart attack, stroke, and death.

Now, the sample size was considerably small, being that it consisted of only those found compatible and made into pilots, but it persisted. Not everyone experienced every side-effect but the warning label existed for a reason.

Seven pilots have died from overuse and its side effects.

—

The shuttle was bumpier than normal leaving the atmosphere and Hound leaned back in his seat the best he could, with his visual feed turned down to near darkness. He was the first one shipping back out on a mission and he was exhausted, but he spent two days after the blow up fight not attached to his suit. That would probably explain why Mirage was sticking to him like glue now, missing for a few days and still having bad reactions to sound and lights probably were entirely normal for Cybertronian’s, “Are you feeling okay?” Mirage’s hand was hovering over Hound’s shoulder, almost nervous to touch him.

Nodding a bit, Hound’s visor brightens slightly, “Yeah, I took something for the headache before we left Iacon.” And he had more in the cockpit with him. Mirage nodded a bit and rested his hand on Hound’s shoulder, “I hope you start to feel better soon Hound, it’s unfortunate that your helm-ache has lasted this long. Are you sure you don’t want to see Knockout?” Sighing, Hound shook his head and adjusted on his seat, “It’s nothing he’d be able to help with, not without frying my system.” Scratching lightly at his implants, his helmet tipped forward slightly. It pulled tightly at the skin on his head and neck. Wincing slightly, he rubs at the area, Mirage looked more worried, “I swear to you Mirage, I will be alright with time.” Shifting again in his seat he leans back and slightly into Mirage’s touch, sighing and darkening his visor.

Mirage stared and smiled softly, the level of trust was sometimes hard to understand or see. But in the quiet moments like this, where Hound was able to relax without having to fill the air with constant noise like many other soldiers or others of Hound’s own unit, it was easy. He shifted a bit and leaned his head lightly against Hound’s, smiling across the way to Skywarp, who was gaping at him. Then scowled when the seeker made a rather crude gesture.

Hound had his visual feed turned off, eyes closed, and external microphone off for the moment. Jazz was scowling at him through the camera, but he had his visor turned off so all he could do was hear him, “You shouldn’t have gone out this soon Hound, you still look like the other side of death.” Humming a bit, he scratches lightly at his jaw where the skin was red and inflamed, “If we are going to keep our cover we have to maintain life as it is. Not all of us are going to be in deep space with just Prowl when you pass out from overuse.” Sighing slowly, he turns his visor back on and squints lightly at Jazz, “Besides, I’ve dealt with overuse before. The best way to handle it is to get it over with.” Jazz scoffs and Hound rolled his eyes some.

“Oh yeah, getting it over with and having a heart attack pair very well together.” Shaking his head, Jazz rubs a hand over his face, sighing, “Take care of yourself Hound, alright? I don’t think Breakdown or Sunstreaker would ever forgive you.” Smiling a bit, Hound tilted his head slightly, the suit bumping lighting against Mirage, “Not Sideswipe?” Rolling his eyes, Jazz tries not to smile, “The kid will come around. Just don’t die.” Hound hummed and cut the feed, turning the visor off again, shifting again and leaning his helmeted head back up against the piloting seat.

To the appearance of everyone else, Hound was deep in recharge already and Mirage was completely content with that. He knew the mech wasn’t asleep, the subtle shifts were a dead giveaway but that was fine. Hound hadn’t shoved him away yet and it was as if he could almost feel the mech's closely held field when this close. Smiling a bit, Mirage kept his cheek on the side of Hound’s helm, which was now just about resting on his shoulder. He knew people were taking image captures and sending them around but for the moment, he didn’t care and eventually when he did, well, he was sure he could weasel a favor out of Prowl.

Thundercracker smacks Skywarp upside the head for good measure as he goes to make another crude hand gesture.

—

“I can’t believe him.” Sideswipe was pacing, scowling at the gin still which was still just dripping away, “Reaching overuse and now separating us.” He turns to watch Sunstreaker get into his assistance suit, they would be leaving the next day but Sunny was always particular about his routine when he had the time, “You can hardly call what we’re doing being separated. You and I are just under different commanders on the same battlefield, what, they said 95% of the time? Hound and Breakdown will still be together and Jazz is going back to what he’s been doing for five years.” Sunstreaker shrugs lightly, pulling at his suit a bit and scowling at the chipping paint, “Did you throw this?” Sideswipe turns away and goes back to pacing.

When he turned back Sunstreaker was still glaring and he sighs, “It’s the overuse.” “Oh don’t use it as an excuse!” Sunny turns away and goes to where he kept his paint, “I can’t believe that this thing gets scratched by you and not some alien with tentacles.” Sideswipe tries not to smile, moving over slowly, “Sunny, aren’t you a little mad about this? Hound is separating us.” Groaning, Sunstreaker turns and points at him, “Because otherwise we’ll be dead in a year and you know that.” Taking a breath, he grabs his paints and brushes before walking over to leave the suit against the wall.

Sighing deeply, Sunstreaker drags a hand over his face as he removes the suit, “We fought one of these things at a time, solo, back home. Now we're on a battlefield with dozens and pressed so close together we all keep looking over our shoulders to keep an eye on each other.” Sideswipe scowls, “Yeah, but so what.” Sunstreaker shoots him a scathing look, “I know you aren’t really putting the pieces together, but one of us would be looking at the other and do something stupid to protect them.” Sideswipe shrugs and Sunstreaker throws his arms in the air, “Simon, we’re dying out there and you don’t even realize it!” Sunstreaker was face to turn, face flushed with anger.

He nearly kicks his open paint can but stops himself, taking a breath, “One of us was going to die to protect the others. Whether it was Breakdown with his overheated canon, you trying to kill the literal assassin for the Autobots, Hound having a fucking heart attack from overuse to protect us, or me using my suit till my implants reach stage three rejection.” He picks up one of the paint brushes and twirls it lightly in his hand.

Sideswipe was staring, breathing deep before walking over and resting a hand on Sunny’s shoulder, “Are you facing rejection?” His hand lightly brushed over the implants at his shoulder then up his neck to the back of his head, Sunstreaker almost flinched away, “Not yet, but they haven’t been this sensitive since the compatibility testing.” Dripping his arm around Sunny’s shoulders, Sides drapes himself on his brother, closing his eyes, “I’m sorry.” Sighing, Sunny pats his brother's arm, “I know.” They stood there staring down at the paint can and assistance suit, Sideswipes hand coming up to rest protectively over the implants on the back of his brother's head.

—

The shuttle landed roughly and Hound shot up, wincing slightly, stretching out the best he could, “God, could that landing have been any rougher?” Mirage chuckled, “Welcome to New-Kaon, I don’t think you’re going to like it very much.” Pausing, Hound looked to Mirage and tilted his head slightly, “I’ve been to Kaon before,’ but Mirage was already shaking his head, “No, not Kaon on Cybertron, New Kaon is a colony of the cons’.” Nodding slowly, Hound wasn’t entirely sure what that meant, clearing his throat a bit, “Right then.” The back hatch opened with a hiss and bright sunlight came streaming through along with a burst of sand.

Noise filtered through in abundance and the hatch opened up to a busy space port, filled with mecha of dozens of shapes and sizes. Hound gapped and slowly stood as Megatron went past, he almost took a step back before the bigger mech rested a hand on his shoulder, “Come Hound, I will show you New Kaon while the shuttle refuels and we wait for intel.” Mirage stood but Hound nodded slowly, not entirely sure how to politely decline a tour, Megatron grinned, “You may very well come to love New Kaon, Jazz seemed to find it strikingly familiar.” They stepped off the transport and familiar would certainly be one way of putting it.

If Iacon Headquarters looked like Fort Liberty, this place looked like Fort Irwin where he’d trained back in his army days. It took his breath away and Megatron was smiling, “The sand is irritating but you grow used to it.” Shaking his head a bit, Hound scratches his jaw lightly, “I was from a place with a lot of sand, you get more than used to it, you adjust to it being everywhere. Sir.” They spared each other a look before Megatron folded his hands behind his back and started to walk through the port, nodding to nearby mechs who stopped to either stare or salute.

”New Kaon was my stronghold during the last war, a great deal of energon was hidden on this planet back at the beginning of the war and there are some naturally occurring energy sources here. Wind and sun being the easiest to harness of course, we would store what we could on our old warships.” He gestures in the direction of multiple large hangers, “We’re currently salvaging what we can for shuttle craft and re-building efforts.” Hound nodded but paused, “Rebuilding? Here or?” Megatron chuckled lightly, shaking his head, “You’ve seen the rebuilt parts of Cybertron, Iacon and Kaon, but there is still a great deal to repair from our mistakes.” Nodding, Hound couldn’t help but sigh, “I understand. My own home has been rebuilt from multiple wars in the last hundred years or so. Cold War conflicts, Vietnam, Korea, uh, the world wars of course and local conflicts.” Megatron stopped dead in his tracks as Hound kept walking.

“None of those worlds really translate well besides World Wars and the Cold War? I don’t quite understand.” Hound glanced around and waited for Megatron to catch up, “Well, uh, Vietnam and Korea are countries, both are located on the same continent and generally are in Asia. Which also doesn’t translate to much.” Megatron moved over slowly before they resumed their leisurely pace, “Countries? Plural?” “Of course.” Nodding a bit, Hound sighed, this was something he could handle, “There are nearly two hundred countries on my planet. Very different from your one government for the entire world.” Megatron hummed deeply, “So, when you’ve mentioned the odd names of where you are from,” Nodding a bit, Hound glances around, “Jazz, myself, and the twins are from the same country. Breakdown is from Ukraine, which is across an ocean from where the rest of us are from.” They kept walking even as Megatron’s mind worked.

His voice was nearly quiet, clearing his throat a bit, “How many governments control your world Hound?” Hound paused and tilted his head slightly, before shaking it, “There are one hundred and ninety-three member states apart of the UN, the United Nations, plus the potential for two observer states supposedly in the next few years.” He scratched at his jaw, frowning slightly when he felt the skin break and blood slide down his jaw and neck, Hound barely bit back a swear, “One hundred and ninety-three member states. Of an entity called the United Nations.” Nodding some, Hound uses the back of his hand to wipe at the blood a bit, frowning.

“Uh, yes sir. It’s a general governing body for the world to hopefully follow, make international laws, etc. I’m not very versed in it, politics were not my strong suit before our war sir.” Megatron nodded but cleared his throat again, “Then what were you versed in, Hound?” He had to pause before speaking, “Organic nature.” He almost smiled, “Our planet isn’t made of metal like Cybertron, at least not entirely, so when there was free time before the war I was interested in organic life.” They fell silent as they walked up the street, mecha simply going about their day around them.

Coming up on one very large building, Megatron hummed, “I apologize Hound, I will continue the tour once I have checked on something inside. Do you mind waiting?” Shaking his head, Hound tried not to hold a hand to his bleeding face, “Of course not, Sir. There was a cafe a little down the street, do you mind if I go sit there?” Waving a hand, Megatron smiled fondly, “You do not have to ask permission to sit Hound, I understand your kind needs more rest than my own. I will come retrieve you when I am done.” “Thank you sir.” Nodding his head slightly, Megatron entered the warehouse and Hound turned away, heading for the cafe.

He honestly just needed a place to sit, but Hound would not just sit on the ground and slump over while doing this. Hound was still bleeding after all. Being able to take a seat and disable the mobility of the assistance suit, he went digging around for the first aid kit. His jaw wasn’t the only thing bleeding anymore, “Fucking, damnit.” Grabbing the first aid kit, he pulls out gauze and cotton balls, along with several mecha themed bandages. Not many people were looking his way, he could tell that with keeping the visual feed on low but there were a few just watching him. It took longer than he’d hoped to get patched up, The entire back of his head was now covered in an overly large compression bandage to cover the worst of it from his implants without disrupting the connection and the lower part of his face was covered and clean.

Two nearly identical mecha had spent this whole time watching him, but Hound knew them and had seen them around before. When he got back into his piloting seat and reactivated the assistance suit, the twins were gone, likely reporting to Soundwave or Megatron on his condition already. Rumble and Frenzy seemed like a handful from a distance, he didn’t want to get any closer than that.

Taking a slow and deep breath, Hound looked at his hands briefly and had to pause, for a moment he swore his mechas hands were covered in blood and not his own flesh ones, “Hound, would you like to resume the tour?” Looking up, he stands and subconsciously wipes his hands on his legs, “Of course Sir, where to next?” Megatron smiled and gestures, “You might find our fighting pits entertaining. Our best warriors train there for Quintesson attacks, to ensure New Kaon’s safety.” Smiling a bit, Hound nods and follows, “It sounds interesting.” The city was almost peaceful other than for the sounds of conflict in the distance, in the direction they walked, one could almost forget that there was a war or had been a war before that one in moments like this.

His bandages were already soaked through with blood and discharge, unlikely to stop soon, not losing enough to kill him but certainly more than any human would like.

———

A/N

Alright, so this is where my posts start to get delayed. I take the LSAT this month and probably won’t have a ton of time to write. We are projected to get hit with a pretty bad snow storm this next week so we’ll see if we even have power, but idk yet.

Thank you everyone for showing me so much love on this story, I’ve been enjoying it so much.

Tags!

@lunarlei68 @whirlywhirlygig @loop-hole-319 @pixillandjester @alek-the-witch @not-a-moose-in-disguise @goddessofwind8water @neurologicalglitch @dersereblogger @pixel-transformers @mrcrayonofdoom @wireplaces @twilightfreefaller @original-blog-name-2 @devilangel657 @robbin-u @childofprimus @miniartistme @starwold @tea-enthusiasm @valeexpris606 @celticdoggo @bird599 @agentsquirrelsgotrobots @aquaioart @dimencreasatlas @thatwandercat @artdagz @seisha974 @starscreamloverfr @halenhusky309 @leethepiper @cat-cassette @blue-wrens @sirassban @astridkolch @cosmique-oddity @garbageenthusiast @osqindaxend @xervias @azulabutterfly @fryseem @spring-mc @echo-circuit @aghostsnail @wooblewooble

And once again, I want to thank the amazing @keferon for this amazing AU, it’s such a blast seeing everyone just dog pile onto it.

[educatedsimps]

Heyo! Quick request here because my FYP wants to make me suffer with all the Bokuto angst I’ve been seeing related to different fics (like in another life, ect). WHY DO FANFIC AUTHORS KEEP KILLING HIM OFF??? ITS DRIVING ME NUTS 😭😭 Anyway, I’d like to request some fluff with Bokuto to counteract the angst I’ve been seeing. Maybe the reader wakes up from a nightmare similar to what’s been going on in these fics and he cheers her up by being his normal happy self? Take that my FYP hahaha

(I love your writing btw! I literally pause whatever I’m doing to read anything you’ve posted! You’re my fav author on this website <3)

≪ back to fics masterlist

bokuto kōtarō x f!reader

a/n: nah bro in another life fucking broke me 🥲 i read it in like 2021 (i think??) and that angst still haunts me to this very day 😀 anyway ofc bae i literally had a fic with this nightmare/comfort idea in my google keep drafts for the LONGEST time so it's time to finally put it out there lol. ALSO I'M SO GLAD U LIKE OUR WORKS omg "favourite author"??? MY HEART ✋😭 TY FOR READING ANON ILYSM 😭💕 hope u enjoy this bae and thanku for requesting, it was truly a joy writing this!

cw: idk man just bokuto fluff and comfort typa thing cuz he’s bokuto and the B in bokuto stands for best boyfriend (b)ever

"so he’s killed in the straight aus and sent back to be with akaashi cause we will nvr recover from in another life" -yves 2024

Jolting awake, you felt fresh tears rolling past your cheeks and staining your pillow. Eyes wide, you scanned your surroundings. Same room, same bed, same pyjamas...

Was that all a dream? But... It had felt so terrifyingly real that you had woken up in a cold sweat with ugly tears streaming down your face. Heart palpitating, you tried to regulate your breathing and convinced yourself that it was just a dream.

Feeling a warm breath brush the back of your neck, you turned to see your boyfriend, Bokuto Kōtarō, sleeping soundly next to you. His breaths were slow and deep, and you watched as his bare chest rose and fell. With a beefy arm slung over your waist, he held you close to him throughout the night, keeping you warm. The dim moonlight from your window illuminated his features and his face looked so peaceful (and beautiful) you couldn't help but stare.

Breathing a sigh of relief, you soaked up the warmth radiating from his body. Not wanting to wake him, you furiously wiped the tears from your cheeks and tried to quiet your sobs.

Unfortunately for you, Bokuto's hearing was as sharp as an owl's, and he stirred with a groggy "Y/n?"

A sniffle.

He jerked his head up to look at you clearly. Your head was buried in his chest. "Y/n?"

Another sniffle. He was starting to panic.

"Babe! Babe, what happened?" He asked softly, placing a hand under your chin and tilting your head up. He swore he heard his heart go crack when he saw your tears. You responded by burying your face in his neck again.

Realising you probably weren't ready to talk just yet, he decided to distract you first. Pulling your trembling body to his, he gently rubbed circles on your back and pressed a sweet kiss to your temple.

He hummed, "You know, I was thinking the other day. Maybe we could install a small spinning light thingy in the corner of our room so it's not so dark at night. I know you don't really like it when it's pitch black in the room sooo I figured maybe that could help! I was scrolling online and saw some designs I thought you'd like, but I forgot to copy the link to send it to you but I can look for it again and show it to you later-"

He paused abruptly when you raised your head, sitting up and looking at him with a half-smile on your face.

"You okay?" He asked, concern taking over his features. He shifted so that you both were half sitting with your legs still tangled under the blanket. "Wanna talk about it?"

With yet another sniffle, you nodded. As you recounted your nightmare, Bokuto continued rubbing your arm soothingly, occasionally wiping away your tears with his thumb. His head was tilted to the side in the most adorable fashion and his eyes were fully focused on you as you spoke.

"And... and then you died," You whispered, voice hoarse and shaky. Looking into his bright amber eyes, you continued. "It was so scary, Kō..."

"But I’m right here, aren’t I?" He asked almost immediately. Bending down to your eye level, he looked at you with such a pure and genuine smile. Your heart beat faster under his gaze.

"And I’m gonna be right here forever. I’ll be here when you wake up from bad dreams and good dreams, and I’ll be here on the nights you can’t fall asleep. I’ll be your protector, Y/n!” He continued, beaming. He swiftly placed a kiss on your forehead. “I’ll protect you from all the nightmares, I promise! And see? I’m totally fine! Those killers ain't got nothing on us. I won’t let ‘em touch my baby.”

He concluded his little cheer-up speech with a sweet kiss on your lips. His hand brushed your jaw, pulling you closer. If you weren’t seated firmly on the bed, your knees probably would’ve given out from how sweet the kiss was. Either that or you would’ve gotten severe cavities before the kiss ended.

Pulling away, he wrapped you up in his arms and you felt your lips pull into a smile. His cheery mood really was contagious.

Gently pushing you into a lying position, he grabbed the blanket and pulled it over your bodies, essentially bundling the two of you together.

“Time to get some sleep, babe. I’ll be right here, ‘kay?” He said, now hugging you under the covers. You hummed, feeling safe and content.

“Oh yeah, we should definitely get a spinning light thingy. It might help with the nightmares ‘cause it won’t be as dark,” you piped up. Chuckling, Bokuto agreed.

“I love you,” he whispered, closing his eyes.

“I love you more,” you yawned.

“I love you the most-est!”

You felt another kiss on the crown of your head before you drifted off to sleep.

a/n: UMMM i hope this was nightmarish/comfort/cheery enough?? IDK IM SORRY IF IT DIDNT MEET THE REQUIREMENTS 😭 but still, tysm for requesting and thanku for reading too!! hope u liked it :,) (feel free to request another part if you’re not satisfied)

© educatedsimps 2024. do not repost, copy, translate or plagiarise any work from this blog on tumblr or any other platforms. if you do, the simps will hunt you down. likes and reblogs are appreciated!

[kalopsicanna]

last angel in kyoto

is this how it would end?

no.

she wouldn't make a liar out of him.

pt 3!

pt 1 , pt 2

there's an old cartoon playing somewhere, the sound transcending the four walls of whatever room it’s coming from and filtering into Utahime’s bedroom.

it’s probably Gojo.

she rubs at her tired eyes and stretches her limbs after, unintentionally snuggling into the oh-so-warm covers. she could probably just go back to sleep but she knows him too well. knows this is a nervous habit. and she can't just leave him with his thoughts.

so with a resolved sigh, she rises from her bed and carefully pads, barefoot, to the living room.

“Satoru?” she calls when she gets there.

the man only grunts in response, his mop of white hair peeking slightly from underneath the duvet that he's wrapped around him.

he looks like a kid with the glow of the flatscreen illuminating his face.

she softly chuckles at this and joins him on the sofa. he opens up his covering and she fits right in too.

this is warmer than the bed, she decides. he's always warmer.

“are you okay?”

her eyes watch his face as she asks, but his expression betrays nothing.

“it’s all good now” he softly mumbles, head coming to rest on her shoulder.

Gojo could be such a kid when he wants to be.

“getting cold feet?” she questions again, an attempt at a joke (not really), and this time, he shoots up to give her a look.

“cold feet?”

he'd proposed right there in the hospital room, even before they'd had the chance to discharge her. Shoko and Suguru were off somewhere, if she had to guess, he was likely keeping her company while she smoked. she was snacking on a pudding cup from lunch, happy to finally have something sweet (she would only later realize that Gojo was rubbing off on her) when he'd blurted it out, out of the blue.

“i want to marry you. do you?”

he hadn’t even been looking at her, eyes fixed on his fidgety fingers.

“huh?”

there had been no ring. no big speech. he hadn't even gotten down on one knee. it wasn't how she had ever imagined getting proposed to but there was just something about how messy his hair was, how dishevelled his clothes were and how he looked like sleep escaped him.

in all her years of knowing him, Gojo Satoru had been nothing if not calm and collected, even in the face of trouble.

but seeing him then, like he could probably fall over if pushed even just a little, there was this air of vulnerability she knew he didn’t show everybody. or anybody at all.

besides her, that is

to think she'd ever see him be beside himself all because of her.

without a doubt in her mind then, she’d said yes.

Gojo’s almost in disbelief at the question and she doesn't blame him. it‘s a wild assumption anyway considering how much he makes it a point to tell her every day that he loves her.

she thinks he might hold a small grudge against her for saying the three words first.

still, a tiny voice in the back of her mind tells her that it really doesn’t mean much. who’s to say love won’t fail?

“just a thought” she murmurs in response.

they go back to watching the cartoon he’s put on. one of the older episodes of shin-chan.

“you know i love you, right?”

she almost doesn’t hear it. his voice is so low, so gentle that it blends with the show.

he’s looking at her again. this time not in disbelief. no. his eyes are softer too.

“i know”

their locked eyes speak volumes of what their lips can't, an effortless communication that surpasses words.

“you don’t” he simply tells her.

in a swift movement, he uses the remote to turn off the television and swamps them in darkness.

his hands seek hers out and he places one of her open palms on his chest.

“my heart beats like crazy anytime you're near”

indeed, his heart palpitations are a bit erratic, she notes.

“Satoru-”

“i’ve loved you since high school”

the confession quickly shuts her up.

“i was a dumb kid. i didn't know how to get you to notice me so i just stuck to teasing you to get your attention. it made me happy, when you would look at me with those pretty eyes for all those five seconds you would yell, even if they were filled with rage. at least, you looked at me”

he pauses to let out a short laugh at the memory of the antics of his younger self.

“seeing you that night on that cold floor, covered in blood, scared me. terrified me. it’s been three months and i still can't stop thinking about it. just the idea of you being gone is daunting. i know i don't want to do this life without you, Hime”

it sure is a miracle that he can't see her. can't see how the tears are pouring rapidly down her face.

who would've thought that she would have, by some twist of fate, Gojo Satoru, the same junior who made fun of her pigtails and had made it his mission to annoy her daily, here in her living room, professing his love for her?

“Satoru…”

her voice gives her away and he cups her cheek almost immediately, making quick work of wiping at her tears.

“so you see” there's a slight pep in his voice now. “i can't possibly get cold feet. not when i’ve loved you so for all these years”

she wants to say it back. she really does. but an ‘i love you’ simply won't do. not after all he's said. it sounds too cheap and it’s not enough to quantify all she feels in her heart.

so she hugs him.

she doesn't need to say anything. he understands.

the wedding is a month after that. a small gathering of friends and family, loved ones who wish nothing but the absolute best for the couple.

their friends all have smiles on their faces and Gojo can swear that he sees Shoko and Geto sneak off together right after the ceremony. he decides to keep their rendezvous to himself.

that doesn't mean much though because it’s proven, once again, at the reception that a drunk man has no secrets.

they're dating. his two best friends.

Shoko and Geto.

the news only makes him happier.

and then finally, when he and Utahime share their first dance as a married couple, she leans in and tells him a secret that she too has kept for a long time.

“i was the one who ate the watermelon gummies”

for the first time since the incident, Gojo throws his head back and laughs.

[leonw4nter]

Are they? Are They Not?

Architect!RE2R!Leon x Boss!Reader

Tags - fluff, making out (it's short tho), office romance

“Good morning everyone! Picked up some coffee so we can all start the day right!,” Rebecca cheerfully chirps as she enters the office. She stops by everyone’s desks, placing paper cups of steaming hot coffee with their names before knocking at your door, the company’s COO. “Come in!,” you call out. She enters the organized office, spotting you sitting on your office chair and turning your work computer on. She notices a steaming hot paper cup on your desk, along with a brown pastry bag. “Got you some coffee but turns out you’ve already got a cup in. Oops,” she says with an apologetic grin. “It’s fine. I could use the extra caffeine anyways,” you respond with a polite smile. She leaves the cup on your desk before turning back to the door, walking out the office when she spots Leon come in.

“Mornin’ Leon!” “Good morning, Rebecca!”

Rebecca walks over to her desk and decides to officially start her day, answering emails and editing the current contracts that've been assigned to the company. Soon, the noise of chatter is drowned out by the clickity-clack of keyboards and ringing landlines. The morning can get busy very soon, not that they mind; the company does a swell job of making sure its employees are doing alright and are managing to balance their personal and work lives. People pour in and out of Y/N’s office, hoping to get her opinion or approval on a project before having their ideas sent to the CEO (aka Y/N’s dad). Most of the time, their ideas align perfectly so her approval could be seen as a sign that he’ll approve it too. It’s now break and everyone rises from their seats to stretch and get up to grab a bite.

“I’ll go ask Y/N if she wants to go grab lunch with us,” Leon offers just as Rebecca gets up. Rebecca nods before responding, “Okay. I’ll go join the others already.”

─────────────────────────────────────────────────────

“She’s busy consulting with the engineers and said she's sorry and will make it up to everyone with drinks one of these days,” Leon explains before digging into a breakfast bagel. Despite it being lunch time, he prefers to have breakfast foods.

“Did she ask for help? I can help her out since I’ve got a blueprint or two to review then I'm done” Claire offers. Leon shakes his head but says that he thinks she’ll accept Claire’s offer anyway. The group continued chatting over their respective meals until it got to the topic of their coffee consumption.

“My brother is a beast– out here chugging protein shakes and coffee. I’m surprised he isn’t having a heart attack whilst I’m out here palpitating with two cups,” Claire pipes in.

“I don’t know what’s worse: your brother’s caffeine consumption or the sheer amount of sugar and creamer Rebecca puts in her coffee,” Jill jokes, earning a playful smack to the shoulder from Rebecca. “At this point it’s 99% sugar and a measly 1% coffee. How you’re not diabetic is beyond me!”

“Life’s too short to not absolutely go crazy with sugar and creamer, let me have my fun!,” Rebecca retorts and earns good-natured laughter from the table.

“How about you, Leon? How do you like your coffee?,” Claire asks.

“I’m not too picky with coffee. I’ll take anything,” Leon responds.

“Hmm. You’re just like Y/N; I just get her whatever kind of coffee and she always takes it,” Rebecca responds.

“Y/N? Oh she doesn’t like or drink coffee,” Leon corrects. Jill nearly chokes on her muffin when Leon says those words, eyes slightly widened. “Really? She’s the first person I have ever come across that doesn’t like or drink coffee.”

“But she literally accepted all the coffees I got for her!,” Rebecca says. “Wait… what if she just accepted them to look polite or nice–”

“Knowing her, she probably did that to not hurt your feelings or something…,” Jill softly says.

“She could’ve told me she doesn’t drink coffee. I would’ve gotten her a hot cocoa instead,” Rebecca says. “Guys, do I look intimidating? What if she just took the drinks because my outgoing-ness is intimidating her? We do know she usually keeps to herself too–”

“You’re the least intimidating person I know, Rebecca,” Jill responds. “She might’ve done that because she felt kind of bad… or something– I don’t know–”

“And how do you know that, Leon?,” Claire asks with slightly narrowed eyes, leaning into the table while resting her head on her hand.

Now everyone in the table is sitting in silence, curious gazes focused on Leon as to how he knows that. You've never talked about her preferences in food and drink– it’s not even on the company website. They don’t think it’s ever been mentioned anywhere.

“Oh, you know– we talk,” Leon responds with a neutral tone. “Oh my God Leon you almost got yourself killed! Calm down, calm down. They won’t catch on,” Leon thinks to himself.

“Talk? Talk like how?,” Jill asks.

“‘Talk’ as in we’re just coworkers who decided to strike up a random conversation whilst working on a blueprint that one time,” Leon says. He would’ve looked calm and composed��� unaffected even, if it wasn’t for the tips of his ears flushing pink and his subconscious leg jiggle. “What?” Leon asks as Rebecca and Claire shoot him smirks that scream “is it what we’re thinking?”. “Can’t a guy and girl talk like they’re just coworkers?”

“You have a point,” Claire replies but Leon doesn’t miss how her blue-green gaze falls on his pinkish ears. They decided to drop the topic, much to Leon’s massive relief. “That was a close one, Leon. Careful next time,” he thinks to himself. Well, you two did more than just talk that day– no, not in that way; you exchanged numbers, began hanging around each other more frequently until you two took secretly took things to another level. Since there was only 15 minutes left before their break was over, they decided to leave early and go up to their office.

─────────────────────────────────────────────────────

“Hey baby,” you softly say as you walk over to Leon’s cubicle. The others had already gone, the office dark except for Leon’s spot. He had stayed overtime to finish up a model so he would be free for the weekend.

“Hi,” Leon softly said as he pressed a tender kiss to your cheek. “Stayed a little later to finish the playground but I don’t regret it one bit if it means some time spent with you.”

“Congrats for making my heart race a million miles per hour,” you giggle. Leon shoots you a flirty wink before he finishes up packing his bag. “Ready to go, milady?”

“Let’s go,” you respond. You two leave the dark office, looking around for anyone lingering. You part your hands from his temporarily, making sure no one catches you holding hands with an employee; it’s not exactly rule-breaking to be fraternizing with an employee but it is highly discouraged. More importantly, it’s not exactly the best of look to be caught in such an act especially when you’re the daughter of the head of this entire company.

“Coast clear?” Leon whispers, to which you nod. Giggling like two school children who just confessed their crushes to each other, you two make your way down the dark hallways hand in hand. Leon kept stealing glances at you, a nerdy but hopelessly in love smile plastered on his face. Despite the lack of lights, you could accurately guess that there’s a glimmer in Leon’s eyes whenever he looked at you like you’re the sun, which you kind of are since you lit up his world.

Not too long after, you two get in your car. After starting the engine, Leon suggested that you two take his car so he could open the door for you and be the one to treat you lavishly, to which you responded with a small nod and an “I’ll think about it”. Leon connected his phone to your car’s bluetooth speakers, going to his Spotify and picking out a playlist he made that reminded him of you. Upon hearing the lyrics of the song, a warmth crawled up your cheeks and manifested in the form of a soft pink glow. Seeing your reaction, Leon beamed brightly as he leaned back in his seat.

“You know it’s your birthday next week,” Leon says, breaking the comfortable silence that settled between you two.

“Yeah, it is. Why, you wanna know what I want for a gift?,” you ask.

“Maybe, maybe not.”

“Oh then I guess just wear a light pink ribbon on your hair and call yourself a gift. Your presence in my life is the best present ever.”

“God that’s so cheesy,” he says with a small laugh. He keeps his gaze trained on the tall buildings around you two because he knows he’s going to scream like a girl if he looks at you once more. “It’s not a bad suggestion though.”. After a few minutes, you two finally reach Leon’s condominium.

“Good night baby, see you tomorrow,” you say whilst pulling him in for a kiss.

“Night, Y/N. Text me when you get back, okay?,” he says. You nod before he finally waves bye and shuts the door.

You’ll definitely be sending him some texts.

─────────────────────────────────────────────────────

After another entire week of staying overtime and finally finishing the mountain of work assigned to you, you finally get up from your chair to move your body a little bit. This day went great: meetings went smoothly, everything on your planner happened, and most importantly, it’s your birthday. Of course, your father and those close to him greeted you and though you didn’t mind if someone know (or doesn't know) your birthday, the gesture warmed your heart.

“Baby?,” Leon called out.

“Huh? Leon?,” you asked. He emerged from the dark, a dainty bouquet of pink and white tulips in his hand, along with a card. Just as you recommended last week, there’s a baby pink ribbon clipped on his hair.

“Oh you didn’t have to–”

“I didn’t have to but I wanted to,” he says before pulling you in for a slow, tender kiss.

“Happy birthday to my only girl.”

Words won’t ever show how truly thankful you are for this gesture so you show it through actions. You pull him in for a hungry kiss, hands travelling to his black tie to loosen it up. Leon places your gifts on your desk, his finally unoccupied hands going to his own tie to help you loosen it faster. You kick your heels off, legs wrapping around his waist as the kisses slowly become more heated and passionate. His hand travels to your blazer, nimble fingers quickly wo–

“Happy birthday, Y/N–”

“WOAH WHAT THE FUCK.”

“CLAIRE PLEASE DON’T DROP THE CAKE.”

“LEON! Y/N?!”

You quickly push Leon off of you and get back up, fixing your hair and feeling around your clothes for any unclasped buttons or pulled down zippers. Embarrassment rushes through your veins, your heart lodged in your throat. Leon’s embarrassed too– shimmery pink lip gloss smeared on his lips, blond hair ruffled, and his tie hanging loose around his neck. His entire face is red and suddenly it’s not so bad if the ground collapses and swallows him up (though he prefers if you swallow him up but now is not the time).

“Uh… hey guys!,” you chirp with an awfully fake smile.

“Hi guys– we were–,” Leon stammers, hand behind his neck.

“Hey guys, if you were busy… we can… we can wait outside…,” Jill awkwardly mumbles, eyeing the poorly hidden bouquet on the desk.

“Yeah… we can wait outside the building if it’ll be noisy too,” Rebecca adds, which causes Leon to almost choke on air and for you to stare at her discombobulated.

“NO– No guys, you can um– now is fine, I promise–,” you stammer. Leon follows suit, trying to make it look as if you two weren’t interrupted in the worst way possible.

NOTE - I saw the reception of my first fic in here and it's looking positive so far so thank you very much! The likes, reblogs, and new followers mean so much to me and I seriously started contemplating telling my parents that I write (I'm so not telling them lmao). I hope you guys enjoy this fic just like you have with my other one!

The dividers (the doodle-y ones) are made by @saradika , the images are made by me (sourced from Pinterest).

[house-of-lovin]

legally binded - drabble (1)

Jenna Ortega x F!Reader

masterlist | series mast. |

Drabble #1: The Week in Coachella

Summary: After getting caught in some hot waters with the press, you are forced into an unexpected agreement with America's sweetheart, Jenna Ortega to save your career.

Warnings/Tags: dual!pov, famous!reader, actress!reader, mentions of substances, intoxication, mature language, real people. (do not read if any of these make you uncomfortable)

(this is all fiction!)

Note: a little insight as to the ‘domestic bliss’ J was referring to 👀 this takes place during chapter 4, the week leading up to R’s peformance. the first of many drabbles (hopefully)

Word Count: 3.8k+

Monday: 

“Turn it off… Jenna, turn it off!”

You whined, aimlessly swiping your hand on the covers in hopes it hits the other actress. 

The alarm blaring rudely in the dark, quiet air interrupted the solitude of the early morning.

You hear her groans but it sounded muffled under the lump of covers and pillows. “You turn it off…”

“Jenna…” You groaned but she still refused to move from her seemingly comfortable position. With a huff, you throw the covers off your head, squinting in the unlit room. The sun hasn’t even risen yet, what the fuck?

Reaching over Jenna’s body, you grabbed your phone on her bedside table. You must have fallen asleep with it in your hand again and Jenna must have placed it there for you. 

“It’s not even mine.” You muttered, reaching for her phone instead and snoozing the alarm. Then you flung yourself back into your side of the bed, sighing in satisfaction because the annoying alarm wasn’t blaring in your eardrums anymore.

“Was it my phone?” Jenna lifted the cover off her head but remained under. Her hair is a mess after a night of tossing and turning and yet she still looked… pretty. You’re not blind, she’s gorgeous but there’s something about her, being the first thing you wake up to that makes your heart palpitate uncomfortably.

Probably heartburn from last night’s dinner. Yeah. That’s it.

“Mhmm.” You hummed. It’s too early for words.

She groaned dropping the covers to hide again. “I have pick up at 5.”

“You’re working?” You questioned.

“Yeah, I forgot to tell you.” You hear and feel the shuffles of Jenna climbing out of the covers. “Are you going to be okay being alone with my family today?”

Cracking a single eye open and even through the darkness in the room, you see her brows knitted worriedly. “I’ll be fine, Jenna. I’ve been here for two days now, I’m settled in.”

“Are you sure? You can come with me to set if you want. I think I’m only filming some promo videos of Dior.” She urged. When you hear the concern in her voice, you opened your eyes fully, sitting up. 

“Jen, I’ll be okay. I promise. It’ll be nice to just chill today too ‘cause I’m not needed for soundcheck again until Thursday.” You reassured, blindly placing your hand on her bare thigh.

You feel her tense under your touch and you were about to pull away and apologize, not meaning to place your hand there but she placed her palm atop yours. “Okay… but if you need me to come back–”

“I won’t need to, but I will text you if anything happens, stop worrying.” You rolled your eyes, pulling your burning hand away. “Now go get ready before you’re late. I will be going to bed.”

“How can you go back to sleep so easily?” She questioned, climbing out of the covers. 

“Mhmm… magic.” You slur, already on the verge of sleeping.

You miss Jenna watching you for a few, long seconds with a fond smile after you’ve fallen asleep. You also miss her panic once she realized what she was doing, promptly turning on her heel to walk into the bathroom.

*** 

It was around 8:30 when you woke up again and like last time, it wasn’t on your own accord.

“Dad says wake up.” You spring up from the bed, eyes still closed.

You weren’t even sure if you were still dreaming but you swore you heard a voice.

“Over here.” Blinking your eyes open, you see Aliyah leaning against the doorframe with a smug smile. “Nice hair, is this what Jenna’s been waking up to every morning?”

“I see you and her share the same need to make fun of me.” You grumbled, wiping your eyes as they adjusted to the sunlight peering into the room.

“Mhmm. That’s how the family shows we care, we tease.” The younger girl shrugged, “Now come on, there’s breakfast downstairs and then chores.”

“Chores?” You asked but she already left.

Fucking chores? What the hell did you sign up for?

Swiftly, you threw on a presentable sweatsuit and brushed your teeth before hopping down the steps. From the moment you opened the door, you could already smell savoury waft of the morning meal awaiting you in the kitchen.

When you round the corner, entering the dining room everyone was already there, “Good morning.”

“Good morning, sweetheart.” Natalie smiled when she saw you. “Sorry Aliyah woke you up like that,”

You see her send her daughter a warning glance but you just laughed, waving it off. “No, it’s alright. Worked like a charm.”

“Come sit and eat.” She ushered, and you noted her uniform. 

“I assume you’re working today?” 

“Yes, it’s just going to be you kids in the house today.”

With Coachella weekend coming up, you had forgotten you were currently staying in a house with people who worked regular, 9-5 jobs.

“Oh, alright.” You smiled gratefully when the matriarch placed a plate of food in front of you.

“Dad and I have to go, you guys be safe okay? Call if you need anything.” She called out to the rest of her kids.

“You guys are carpooling?” Mia asked.

“Yup, the car’s not starting again.” The man grumbled, rising from his seat.

You perk up at that comment. “I can take a look at it for you if you want?”

All heads turn to you.

“You know cars?” Jenna’s dad asked, skeptical. This is the first time you’ve talked directly to the man.

“Yes sir.” You clear your throat, sitting up straighter. There was something about the man, maybe it was his constant silence or just Dads in general that made you a bit tense and feel out of your depth. “Used to work on them with my best friend, just a hobby but I learned a thing or two.”

He raised a brow but didn’t say anything. Natalie spoke up for him. “You don’t have to do that Y/N, but we would appreciate it regardless.”

You nodded, sending them a small smile. Aware that the man still hasn’t given you an answer but hey, you’ll take what you can get.

“We gotta go.” The parents bid goodbye and when the door shut, an awkward silence hung in the hair.

You keep your head down and pretend your breakfast was the most interesting thing on Earth.

“So, you got plans today?” Mia asked.

Lifting your head, you pointed to yourself, “Me?”

“Who else?” She raised a brow, and suddenly you’re made aware that sarcasm runs in the family.

Rolling your eyes playfully, you drop your spoon. “I don’t have plans.”

“Perfect. We’re all doing something.” Mia grinned.

You looked at Aliyah and Markus sending them apprehensive looks. “I… don’t like the way you said that.”

“Relax, superstar… when was the last time you let loose?” Mia grinned leaning on her elbows.

You glanced at the three siblings warily, “Fine… but if Jenna asks, it wasn’t my idea.”

“We’ll deal with her.” Aliyah matched her sister’s grin.

***

“This was your idea of letting loose?” You heaved exasperatedly, leaning against the leather headrest of the driver’s seat. 

The three siblings’ laugh resounds around you, agitating you further. Is this what it was like to have siblings? Maybe you’re not missing out on much.

“I thought you were an action star? Don’t you guys get paid to work out for Marvel?” Aliyah asked from the backseat. 

“I’m out of commission.” You glared through the rearview mirror. “And I hate hiking… why did we pick that?”

You started the ignition, cranking the AC to full blast and sighing in relief as the cool air relieves your sticky-red skin. 

“I don’t know if you’ve noticed. But there isn’t much to do around here.” Markus piqued up from beside his sister. “So when we all get together, we like to go hiking. Jen can’t make it most of the time, but I guess you’re the next best thing.”

He joked prompting his sisters to laugh but you flushed under the suggestion. You chose not to comment, instead pulling out of the parking spot. Clearing your thickening throat, you asked, “Where to?”

When you get back to the house, you're instantly met with an unimpressed look from the actress.

“You guys hung out without me?” Jenna crossed her arms as she stood in the foyer of her home, watching her siblings plus you trickle into the house. It’s fair to say that the younger actress was quite confused when she came back to an empty house. 

“Yup…” Mia responded, sipping on her drink as she walked passed the shorter actress. 

One by one, she glared at each of her siblings as they walked passed her until only you remained. You smiled sheepishly, holding out a drink. “They said you always get this smoothie… don’t be mad?”

Jenna stared at the drink in your hands. Her heart fluttered wildly in her chest. “Thanks…”

You send a large, goofy smile, pleased with yourself, “No worries.”

***

Tuesday:

The jury’s still up for debate if you’re enjoying yourself.

See you thought you were. Sure sharing a single queen bed with Jenna is… less than ideal, the home-cooked dinners have been delicious, and her family has been nothing but hospitable. You should be having a good time, right? Except, right now you’re seriously debating changing your answer cause you’re stuck.

Tied down, would be a better description.

“Jenna, please. Help!” You managed to pull out a free arm from one of her cousin’s firm grip.

Why do these kids have such strong hands?

Jenna turned at the sound of your desperation, cutting her conversation with her sisters short then she laughed, taking her phone out to record.

“No, please.” You nearly cried out, flailing your free hand.

“Show us your superpowers, Spider-Woman!” Another child yelled, jumping in front of you.

“Ow..” Your footing stumbles with the added weight, trying to hold the kid up in your arms.

“I count… one, two, three… oh and there's a fourth one hiding behind your legs, how cute.” Jenna circles you, recording all the children clinging onto you for dear life.

“Jenna, please. I’m gonna drop this child…” You begged again, arms burning uncomfortably.

You’re one kid away from toppling over if she doesn’t help you. If you do, you’re taking her down with you.

“I thought you do action movies? Use that action star training…” Jenna teased just like her sister, in turn, you glared menacingly.

“If I do go down, I’m taking you with me…”

She rolled her eyes, put her phone away then walked over to grab the kid in your arms. “Come on, guys… let’s give her some space.” She shooed off.

They groaned, echoing ‘you’re no fun’ at Jenna,  and you’d laugh at her offended face if you weren’t thankful that you feel 100 pounds lighter.

“You sure took your time,” You scoffed at her, watching as Jenna lets the toddler down on the ground after she got too fussy in her arms.

“Mmm… it was just too adorable.” She pulled out her phone to show you the multiple pictures of your panicked face, flailing hand and the small army of kids sticking to your side.

“Delete that…” You attempted to swipe her phone, but she stuck her arm out of reach, too quick for you.

“No!” She laughed, leaning back. You leaned forward, trying to swipe at the phone again but she pressed her hips against yours — pushing you back.

“Delete it!” You grabbed the dip in her waist with one hand; the phone now just at the tip of your fingers.

Jenna curled into a ball, clutching the phone to her chest making you wrap your arms around her body – practically embracing her.

“Seriously?” You laughed at the childish antics.

“Let me keep it!” She snickered, body shaking as she laughed and you couldn’t help but join in, forgetting about the embarrassing photos.

“Fine.” Rolling your eyes, you dropped your arms to your side, stepping back. “But if you post that, you’re dead.”

Jenna uncurled, standing straight with a lop-sided smile, “Who’s gonna stop me?”

You stare back challengingly but once you saw the up flick of her brow, you knew it was a done deal. With a sigh and a drop of a head, you muttered. “Whatever…”

Then you walked back to your seat beside her sisters.

Reaching down on the grass to grab your drink, you pretend not to hear Aliyah and Mia telling Jenna that you two are cute.

Pulling out your phone, you ignore everything going on around you. You feel Jenna take her seat beside you. 

“Hey Y/N,” Aliyah spoke up, phone in hand.

You flick a brow up, “What’s up?”

“You know this song?” She tapped her phone, connecting it to the speaker and playing a song that sounded faintly familiar.

Furrowing your brows, you shake your head, glancing at Jenna who had a confused look as well. “No? Did I write it?”

“You don’t know what songs you wrote?” Jenna asked, turning to you.

“No? There’s too many and sometimes if it doesn’t fit me, I just take writing credit or I produce it for someone else.” You shrugged.

Aaliyah shook her head, gaining your attention. “No, listen.” She smirked.

When the singer started singing, you froze, the tips of your ears reddening.

“I don’t get it?” Jenna asked.

“This is Nonsense by Sabrina Carpenter,” Aaliyah commented.

“Okay?” Jenna was lost. “Am I missing something?”

“Nope. I don’t think so— you wanna go for a walk?” You stood up swiftly, nearly giving Jenna whiplash as her eyes followed your movements.

You wiggle your fingers for her to take, but Jenna stayed put. 

“Later —“ She dismissed you, turning to her sisters who wore smug smiles on their faces, “What’s so special about this song?”

“Ask her…” Aliyah nodded toward you, currently pretending like you couldn’t hear the conversation around you.

She raised her brow, noting your weird demeanour. “What’s so special about this song?”

“Nothing.” Jenna raised a brow. You sighed, sitting back down beside her with a slump, ignoring the three others piercing stares. “Except it’s about…. me, or so I’ve heard, I don’t know.”

Jenna’s brows raised in surprise, her cheeks reddening when the next line plays. “It feels so good I had to jump the octave?”

You flushed, covering your face in embarrassment. “God, this is my worst nightmare.”

Her sisters’ watched with satisfied smiles as you continued to be embarrassed, actively avoiding everyone’s eyes and Jenna, who was stunned in silence but honestly looked more bothered the longer the song played.

You’ve never actually heard the song in its entirety, too embarrassed when someone said it was about you. You only saw the other singer one, two, three maybe even four times — so you were shocked.

“How fast can you take your clothes off, pop quiz?” Jenna reiterated as the song ended.

“Please, stop!” You groaned into your palms.

If Jenna wasn’t so satisfied with your embarrassment already, she might even admit that she’s a bit… irritated, for reasons unknown.

“Okay, Aliyah enough.” Jenna glared when the song replayed by accident.

Her sisters tried to chuckle lowly, but Jenna glared until they took the hint and scurried away, leaving just you and her.

“Are they gone?” You peeked through the opening in your fingers. 

“They're gone.” She chuckled, but the silence that followed was slightly awkward. “So… you and Sabrina? Didn’t know that.”

You cleared your throat, dropping your hands. “Yeah—uh. It wasn’t really anything.”

“Sounds like it was something…I mean she wrote a whole song about you.” Jenna questioned and for a second you wondered if she was jealous.

No, no way.

“That’s just fan theories and shit. I actually don’t know if it’s about me.” You felt the need to clear up. “It didn’t mean anything to me, at least.”

Jenna scanned you for a few seconds, feeling slightly uncomfortable under the intense gaze. “Mhmm. Cool.”

You blinked, unsure what that meant. But before you could say anything she’s standing, holding her hand out for you to take.

“Wanna go on that walk now?”

You nodded, slipping your fingers in between hers.

***

Wednesday: 

“Have you seen Y/N?” Jenna peeked her head inside her brother’s room.

“Not recently…” Markus responded, not looking away from his computer screen. “I think I saw her an hour ago though.”

“Where?” She huffed, leaning against the door frame.

“Don’t remember…” He replied distractedly. Jenna sighed, knowing she wasn’t gonna get a straight answer from him. 

Making her way down the stairs, she rounded the corner, entering the living room. “Has anybody seen Y/N?” 

She was met with silence. “Hello?” Jenna spoke up agitated.

“She’s with Dad, relax,” Aliyah answered and the actress couldn't even hide her shock. “She’s checking the car or something.”

“They’re together? Alone?”

Her sister nodded, confused.

“Yes? Why?’

“No reason…” Jenna lied.

“Is she scared of Dad?” Aliyah asked, a smirk on her lips.

Jenna rolled her eyes, not answering. Turning on her heel, she walked swiftly to the garage. You never admitted it out loud but she could see how tense you are around her Dad. It amused her more than anything.

Upon opening the door, she’s expecting to be met with silence as you worked on the car. Instead, her Dad’s laughter filled the room. 

“That’ll teach you to make a bet with her…” Her dad continued to joke. 

Stepping closer, she can make out your muffled chuckles from under the car. “Yeah… that one was on me, honestly. Robbed me clean of a thousand dollars.”

“Oh hey, honey. What are you doing here?” Her dad asked, noticing her standing by the door with a dumbfounded look on her face.

“Is that Jenna?” You asked.

“Yeah…” He responded.

Jenna blinked out of her stupor, walking to the hood of the car where her Dad waited patiently as you lay underneath the vehicle. “What’s going on here?”

You slid out from under the engine, using an old skateboard as a mechanic creeper; some oil splotched on your cheek. “Your Dad said the car wasn’t starting, so I offered to have a look at it.”

Jenna watches on as her Dad extended a hand out to haul you up. Exchanging the wrench in your hand for a wet rag to wipe the dirt off. She flicked a brow up in surprise. “I didn’t know you knew cars like that…”

You match her raised brow, “what, you think my cars are just for show?”

She rolled her eyes, not answering while you grinned, taking it as a win. She allowed her gaze to drop, noting your engine oil-stained white shirt hugging your arms tight and dark washed-out denim jeans. Looking like a real mechanic. 

“I think it was the transmission, try turning it on.” You said to her Dad. 

He follows your instructions, pushing the key into the ignition and turning it. Sputtered sounds of the engine roughly kicked back until eventually, it settled into a low, even rumble. You send her Dad a gratified smile. “What’d I say?”

“Impressive…” He scratched his chin, “I went to three different mechanics and none of them could tell me what was wrong.”

“Those guys are useless. You call me anytime there’s something wrong with her.” You popped off the hood struts, putting it back in its place before dropping the car hood closed with a loud slam, tapping on the top contently.

“You actually fixed that old junk?” Jenna crossed her arms, a little impressed but she’d never say it out loud.

You spin, flicking an unamused brow. “You doubting my skills, Ortega?”

Jenna tried shrugging impassively, walking closer to observe the running car. “Every single one of my siblings learned how to drive in this car, including me. Dad refuses to get rid of it.”

You run a hand over the hood again. What the younger actress said must’ve added to your satisfaction. “Just makes it more special then…”

“See, she gets it.” Her Dad peeks his head out from the driver's seat. 

“We’re not starting this…” Jenna spun in her heels, walking back into the house. She ignored her thudding chest.

***

Thursday:

“Hey, how was Soundcheck?” Jenna looked up from her book, watching as you trudge into her childhood bedroom in slow steps.

“S’okay…” You mumbled,  lazily dropping your shoulder bag on the foot of the bed. With a heavy sigh, you sat down and let gravity do all the work as you fell onto your back. Sighing in relief when it connects with the soft mattress. 

“What’s wrong?” Jenna crawled to the foot of the bed, rubbing your shoulder. She watched as your eyes fluttered closed in fatigue.

“Long day… too hot.” You muttered causing Jenna to chuckle.

“Well, we are in the desert.”

“Should have thought about that when I agreed to perform…” By now, Jenna’s fingers worked their way through your hair. Softly scratching your scalp. 

“Speaking of performing…” Jenna tried not to pay attention to the way you practically purred under her touch. “Who are you going on with?”

You grinned adorably, like when a baby smiled in their sleep. “Nice try…”

She tugged on your roots a bit, “Tease…”

“You’re the one tugging on my hair…” You cracked an eye open, staring up at her. Jenna flushed, choosing to ignore your words. 

“Why don’t you take a shower and we can finish watching Breaking Bad? Relax before your performance tomorrow?”

“That sounds perfect.” You scrambled up to grab some clothes from your suitcase before running to the adjoining bathroom. 

Jenna shook her head in amusement, ignoring the butterflies thrashing in her stomach. She moved up the bed, getting your side ready, and propping up the pillows to your preferred angle. Then she grabbed the remote, exiting out of the trashy reality show that she wasn’t really paying attention to. Only choosing the program to pass the time as she waited for you to come… home. But only because she’s honourable and chooses to uphold her side of the agreement; not to watch Breaking Bad without the other. 

20 minutes pass when the bathroom door creaked open and you stepped out, looking far more relaxed than when you first came in. 

Sliding into your side, you wiggled around, trying to get comfortable. “You kept your promise and didn’t watch the next episode.”

“Surprised?” She raised a brow.

“Mmm… a little.” You shrug, shooting her a chaffing smile. 

She elbowed your side, “idiot.”

“Okay, okay, just play the episode. I’ve been looking forward to watching it with you all day.” You covered a blanket over your lap, not realizing what you just said. Jenna stares at you, not speaking.

You turn, pulling a face before it contorts to an amused smile. You grab the remote out of her hands, not calling her out on her silence. “Come on, get down here.”

Still unspeaking, Jenna’s body moves automatically, sliding in close beside you; shoulders pressed together. The younger actress doesn’t have it in her to admit that she’s been waiting for you to come back because recently, she finds she can’t sleep without you.

Jenna chooses not to comment when she feels your head lean comfortably against hers.

—

(a little treat before ch 7🫢 )

***

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[embrosegraves]

𝔸𝕟 𝕌𝕟𝕙𝕖𝕒𝕝𝕥𝕙𝕪 𝕆𝕓𝕤𝕖𝕤𝕤𝕚𝕠𝕟

Not the biggest fan of this I'll be honest. I don't think I'll do something like this very often, and if I do it won't be for a while. Anyways I hope you enjoy even just a little bit &lt;;3

Warnings: Obsessive behaviour, Being unaware of listening devices, hidden camera, author not knowing how to put the correct warning for a fic lmao, I definitely missed something I know it.

Sebastian Vettel x Reader  Obsessed x Obsessed but Seb thinks it’s just him lowkey this was a little inspired by An Unhealthy Obsession by The Blake Robinson Synthetic Orchestra. It's a good song.

Sebastian was never one to invade the privacy of others. He was a gentleman, thank you very much! But he had gotten into the habit of finding out what room you were staying in at every hotel, just so he could… set up, before you got there. 

If anybody found out that he put walkie talkies in your room, he could always just say that it was in case you needed any help. One might argue that hotels had notoriously thin walls, but he was just being cautious. Sebastian was also convinced that no one would be able to find the microscopic camera he had stuck to the tv at the end of your hotel bed. 

Seb had been in his own room (quite literally next door) for about an hour before he heard you opening the door to your room. He listened to the walkie, and watched through the camera he had connected to his phone, as you put your luggage on your bed. He could tell you were exhausted with the flight over and he wished craved to be the one you’d turn to after a long day. 

Eventually his own exhaustion and the jetlag caught up to him and he fell asleep listening to you hum whatever song had been on your mind that day. 

— — — — 

You were exhausted. Having just gotten back from the paddock, your camera’s memory stick positively brimming, all you wanted to do was relax. Before you could spread out on the bed, you needed to change clothes. Get rid of the surprisingly uncomfortable team wear and surround yourself in something more comfortable. Paying no mind to the opened curtains of your hotel suite, you changed into a pair of cotton shorts and an oversized SV5 hoodie that made it look like you weren’t wearing pants.  

Finally able to flop down on the bed, you grabbed your laptop and your camera and started to transfer the images so you could pick out which ones to send to the media team. If you saved every photo of Sebastian, well no one but you would know. Eventually, you sent an email to the head of Media containing an array of photos that had a mix of different drivers within them. 

You spent the rest of your evening browsing the internet for anything even remotely related to the German driver that had been on your mind since you were 12.

— — — — 

He knew that you had only just changed the tyres of your car. Of course he knew. Afterall he was the one that caused you to need to change them in the first place. It had been all too easy to set up. He just needed to make sure that the road you usually took to drive home from the track had an invisible row of spikes that you would drive over. 

All he had to do afterwards was wait for you to call. He knew you would. He made sure that he spent enough time helping you so that he would be the first person you would call should you need help elsewhere. Hearing his phone ring when he was conveniently ten minutes away from you made his heart palpitate. His chest constricted so deliciously at the thought of hearing you beg him to help. He had to play this smart. 

“Yes, Leibe?” He sounded happy, something he would tell you was because of the adrenaline rush of placing on the podium. 

“Hi Seb, listen, I’m really sorry to ask this but do you think you could come and pick me up?” You asked him. “My car just suddenly got a flat tire and you were the first person I thought to call.” 

“Of course! I’ve actually just left the track not too long ago myself-” of course he had “Just send over your location and I can come get you.”

“Thank you so much Seb, I’ll quickly share my location so you know where I am.” 

“I’ll see you soon then, Liebe.” 

After he hung up, you shared your location, as you said you would. It only took him about 6 minutes to show up. No one had to know that he occasionally ignored the speed limits.

— — — — 

People would definitely call it creepy if they knew just how obsessed Sabastian Vettel was with you. He liked to think that it was romantic. To be entirely honest, you thought it was endearing how much he wanted you to be his. As much as the people around you were oblivious to Seb’s unhealthy obsession with you, you were a lot more observant than everyone realised. 

The first time it came to your attention was when you had joined Formula One as a Photographer. Having watched the sport for years now, and constantly keeping up with it throughout your studies, you knew every driver on the grid that year. Being ‘fresh meat’ in the paddock, you were easy to spot for everyone. The drivers more or less were not that interested in the new photographer that the sport had hired. If anything it just meant that they had to pose more than they already did. But there was one driver who couldn’t help but be absolutely fascinated with you. 

You thanked whatever power-that-be that Sebastian Vettel had entered into F1 the same year you entered puberty, as it allowed you to blame that on your sudden obsession with him. Being interested in him since you were 12 had given you plenty of time to become a master at hiding just how obsessed you were. So of course, when Sebastian came up to you to introduce himself, it was only too easy to see the signs of a brand new budding obsession.

— — — — 

Despite being so enamoured with you, Sebastian had never once been inside your house. His eyes were flitting around everywhere, trying to take in as much of your home as he could. You had invited him to come in for a cup of tea after he had saved you from being stranded with no transport. 

“Feel free to explore if you’d like.” You called to him as you made your way to the kitchen to fill up the kettle. You had no qualms about him snooping through your things. If anything, Sebastian snooping through your house might finally get him to understand that he wasn’t the only obsessed party. 

Sebastian was never one to turn down an opportunity that was literally being handed to him. The minute you had walked into the kitchen after telling him to explore, he went straight upstairs. The first room he entered was a bathroom. Nice and clean, spacious. Perfect for some relaxing should it be needed. He didn’t spend long in there. 

The next room he walked into happened to be your guest room. It was a bit plain, nothing too extravagant. A nice bed, a small closet space and a door that led to the relatively large balcony overlooking your backyard. Same as the bathroom, he didn’t spend too much time in the room.

The next room had him more excited than he would admit. Your bedroom. It was cosy and warm and it perfectly embodied everything he thought you were. There was a door that led to the same balcony as the guest room. He spent a bit longer in this room. He contemplated for only a split second whether or not he should look through your drawers, before he rationalised that you had given him permission to look around. Whether or not you meant looking around through your dresser was of no consequence to him. 

He was a little disappointed that he hadn’t found any raunchy toys in your bedside drawers. Nonetheless he continued on his way to the final room on the upper floor. 

Opening the door furthest from the stairs, he discovered your office. It was pretty standard for an office. A large desk with a computer, a comfy chair behind it. On one wall was a bookshelf full of literature of all kinds. He only recognised a few titles so he didn’t bother looking too intensely there. What he did look intensely at however, was a section of your office that could only be described as a shrine. Upon closer inspection he realised the subject of the shrine. 

Him. 

There were photos and photos of him at all sorts of points in his career. His first Formula 1 race, the first time he scored points, the first time he got on the podium, the first time he got pole position in qualifying, his first race win and his first WDC were among many of the countless photos of him that were proudly displayed. He had even noticed that there were newspaper clippings that had been cut out, and in every one of them he had been surrounded in a thick red heart shape. Standing right in front of it, he began leafing through everything that covered the small desk. 

“I thought I’d find you here.” 

Your voice had started Sebastian. His head shot up to look at you. How could he have been so careless as to stop paying attention to his surroundings? He had gotten caught red handed and he wasn’t sure how he could solve this. He didn’t want you to think that he was a creep (though given that you had a literal shrine dedicated to him, the chance of that was slim). 

“I usually keep this room locked when I am away.” You said, moving to place the two drinks you had brought up on your desk before sitting on the plush chair you had next to the shrine. 

“Did you know that I have cameras in every room of my house?” This was rhetorical. “I thought it was quite interesting that you looked so disappointed when you didn’t find anything interesting in my bedside drawers. I thought I might help you find what you wanted.” 

You reached over to open the drawer of the desk he was still standing in front of. His body hadn’t moved an inch, excluding his head that had followed your every movement since entering the room. Which meant that when you did get the drawer open, your hand ever so gently brushed against his thigh. The touch sent an almost violent shiver through both of you. 

Seeing you nod your head towards the now open space in front of him, Sebastian moved his gaze from your face to the contents of the drawer. This explained why he found nothing in your bedroom. Neatly organised inside the drawer was an array of lewd toys. Picking one up, he looked at them more closely. It wasn’t until then that he noticed that each and every one of your toys was customised. With his name on them. 

He fell even deeper at the thought that whenever you played with yourself, it was his name inside you. That it was his name that gave you pleasure and release. He almost didn’t notice the pair of panties you kept behind the toys in your drawers. He grabbed them and looked at the embroidery on the back of the lacy garment. 

“VDS?” The rasp in his voice had you feeling particularly wet and ready. 

“Vettel’s Dirty Slut was a little too long for such a small canvas of lace.” You elaborated. “I’d say I’m a dab hand at stitching, amongst other things.”

His eyes had darkened when you explained the acronym. He had envisioned having you in such a way since seeing you for the first time in 2014. “Show me.” 

You gave a sly smile as you grabbed his hand, leading him back to your bedroom, toys and panties still in his grasp. 

Your tea had long since gone cold by the time you had finished.

welp. there it goes. definitely not my best work, but rest assured that I will try my best to get better at writing more darkly themed fics. can't promise that I'll post my attempts all too often but I'll definitely work on it

thank you for the request Lovey!

[the-chosen-fanfiction]

Philip | Lean On Me | Romantic

Struck by faintness and anxiety, you find comfort with the man you’re secretly sweet on.

Requested by Katie & Nina (merged similar)

The starry sky above is visible through the roof and it casts a gentle ambiance over the dinner table. It is clear that Nathanael has put a lot of love and effort into designing this year’s hut for Sukkot and you observe it with awe as you take slow sips of wine, enjoying the food and atmosphere. Diagonally across from you sits Philip, causing you to be very much aware of your own movements. What has caused this sentiment of bashfulness around the man in question lately has been a mystery as of now.

“We are so lucky to have an architect in our midst.” Mary of Magdala muses next to you, a soft smile over her lips as she takes a few grapes to eat. “I’ve never sat in such an elaborate sukkah.” 

“Me, neither.” you agree with her. “Our father used to build them in our backyard, but it was nothing like this.” 

Across the table, your brother Andrew snorts a laugh at the mention of abba’s tents during the Feast of Tabernacles. Your eyes glitter with amused nostalgia as you look at him. 

“That was something else.” Andrew breathes, smirking behind his cup of wine. “Remember that one time that it collapsed on us in the middle of the night? Simon had the biggest bump on his forehead the day after.” 

You huff a laugh at the memory, Mary smiling at the idea. 

“I have rarely seen abba so guilty before. Or after, for that matter.” you remark.

“What is that about me?” Simon quips, trying to join the conversation halfway through as he swallows a piece of bread. “I heard my name.” 

For a second, you and Andrew look at one another before bursting out into laughter.

“Nothing— Nothing, just that one year during the Feast of Tabernacles, that we were all sleeping in our hut, when one of the posts suddenly gave way and caused that awful—” You point at your forehead as Simon cuts you off.

“—I thought we agreed to not mention that anymore, (Y/n).” he hisses, directing an annoyed frown your way, “Especially not while in company.” 

You show your palms in defence, Andrew snickering at the scene. Simon glares at him before turning back to his previous conversation with Thomas, clearly not in the mood to talk to his younger siblings anymore about the embarrassing moment in question. 

Mary smiles. “That sounds like quite the experience. My mother tried her best in making our Sukkot feasts good memories, but every time we had a celebration, I just realised how much I missed my abba.” You put a hand on her shoulder and softly squeeze. 

“I’m so sorry to hear that.” 

She shrugs and gives a soft hum. “I’m feeling better about it, now. Grief eases overtime, you know?”

“Yeah, I know,” you mutter, “But it never fully goes away.” 

For a moment, the part of the table you’re sitting at it silent. You are the first to break said quietness by clearing your throat. “I’m going to get some water. Does anyone want some?” 

“Me, please.” Philip raises his hand. He hadn’t been part of the conversation, but now you are forced to face him head-on. Trying to keep down your shyness, you give him a gentle nod. 

“Anyone else?” you ask with a voice pitched higher than usual, causing you to once again clear your throat. 

The others shake their heads and you wiggle back on the bench to get up.

The moment you arise however, everything tilts on its axis for just a second. Your head suddenly spins as you close your eyes, irritation furrowing your brow together at how you could have forgotten that you shouldn’t stand too quickly—

“—(Y/n), is everything alright?” Mary asks worriedly, looking up at you. You hold up a hand for her to remain seated before using it to balance yourself a little. 

“I’m— I’m fine. I… I’ll be fine.” 

Andrew gives you a concerned one-over. “You look shaky. I— I thought it was under control somehow. How often has this been happening again lately? The dizzy spells? The heart palpitations?” 

“I said I’ll be fine.” you reassure them, “I’ll be right back.” You step over the bench to head outside, walking towards the table where Thaddeus and Little James had displayed all the beverages quite nicely, and grab the jug of fresh water as well as two cups to pour it into. The first cup is filled up easily, but halfway through the second one, you feel your vision suddenly blur a bit, a faint feeling coming over you. 

It causes the cup to spill over, but when you don’t respond to the water pouring all over your hand, you hear Andrew concernedly call out for you somewhere behind you. “(Y/n)!” 

You don’t even hear his footsteps approach you as your blood rushes inside your ears, your heart starting to pump painfully inside your chest. You drop the cup and step away from the table, only barely caught by your brother. “Oh— Easy— Take it slow— Don’t panic— Get—Get Jesus— Get Jesus!” 

Andrew’s panic only fuels your own as you sit in the grass, disoriented with a spinning head. Short of breath, you gently push him away. 

“Andrew, just— Don’t hold on so tight—” 

“Here, let me.” Simon urges, crouching down in front of you in order to get you to look up at him. “Can you hear me, (Y/n)? Hello? Can you stand up? Answer me.” He waves in front of your face and you slap away his hand, trying to focus on your breathing for your breast aches the quicker your heart beats. “Can you try to stand up? See if your legs work?” 

“—Guys.” A voice way calmer suddenly sounds, although it does not belong to Jesus. “Give the poor woman some space, will you?” Philip steps into your peripheral view as you look up, your head spinning so badly that you’re seeing double. A few gasps are heard from the tent and you realise that you’ve likely got an audience. “Don’t gawk,” Philip tells them, “Just stay inside and we will be back whenever she feels better.”

He silently sits down in front of you, not touching, just kindly keeping an eye on you.

“(Y/n), it’s Philip. Try to calm your breathing, alright? In through the nose, out through the mouth. You’re having a dizzy spell again. Don’t say anything, don’t stand up. Just sit here for a while. I’ll continue to speak to you. Try to focus on my voice, okay? Andrew is fetching Jesus for you. I believe He is currently on a walk with His mother.” Philip gives your brother a look, who gets the hint and rushes off, Simon in tow. “He will be here shortly. In the meantime, focus on your breathing. In… Out… In… Out…” 

You can hear him standing up, seeing his feet walk past you as he reaches the table behind you. You move to turn around and face him, but Philip already speaks up. “I’m here, don’t look at me, just keep looking down. I am getting you some water.” He grabs the cup you had originally filled for him and sits down on the ground again, gently bringing it into your hands, making sure to wrap your fingers around it so it sits snugly inside your palms. You try to take steady breaths, slowly sipping from the clay cup. The water is cool and eases your nerves somewhat.

“There you go. Nice and slow.” 

The timbre of his voice is pleasant as you smile gratefully, daring to let your eyes flicker up to meet him sitting in front of you. He gently smiles, patiently waiting for you to gather yourself, not rushing you in the slightest. Your breathing calms slowly but surely as you watch him. He mirrors a breathing pattern that works for you, making it easier for you to follow. In through the nose, out through the mouth. A blush spreads over your face at how kindly he’s looking after you without anyone asking him to.

“How are you feeling?” 

“A little better.” you say, still slightly out of breath. “My heart is still beating very fast.” 

Philip hums. “Just stay down for a while longer, then. Give yourself time to recover. Do you have any idea what caused your sudden spell of dizziness and panic?” 

You give a small shake of your head. “No. I was just having a good time at the feast, getting some water, and… It suddenly happened without warning. Perhaps I stood up too quickly back at the table, that sometimes causes these sudden attacks of faintness and heart palpitations. It’s not the first time, as you know.” 

A brief silence as Philip registers your words and thinks about what to say next. 

“I know you take good care of yourself, (Y/n). Out of your siblings, you’re the most reasonable and responsible.” You chuckle at his lighthearted comment. The knot of panic in your gut is starting to loosen up, disappearing slowly but surely as you speak to Philip. “Would you be comfortable with it if I checked up on you more often, to make sure you don’t put a strain on yourself?” 

Smiling softly, you nod at him. “Please. I’d… I’d really appreciate that, honestly.” 

Philip gives you a curt nod. “Of course. Your wellbeing is important to me.” You feel a sense of peace at the notion of him caring about you. 

The longer you sit with him, the more you calm down, feeling your panic melt away as time goes by. Your heart slows back down into its usual rhythm. When Andrew and Simon run back with Jesus right behind them, you already feel way more at ease. Philip stands without saying a word, giving the Messiah some space to tend to you. 

The two of you meaningfully look at one another for a brief moment, your heart pleasantly swelling at his smile, until the sight of Jesus’ soft eyes meets you instead. He hums knowingly, cradling your face in His hand as His other comes to rest on your shoulder. “Are you feeling better, My child? Your brothers came to me in quite a panicked state.” 

“I think they’ve got it worse than I do.” you admit in spite of your earlier anxiety. 

“You had someone looking after you very kindly.” He says, his grin growing a bit. “So, how are you doing now?” 

“I’m doing fine, Teacher. Thank You for coming to check up on me.” 

Part of you wants to ask — to request Him to heal you — but part of you is hesitant about it. It’s not that you’re afraid that He would deny you, but you still feel like a burden doing it. You have the privilege of travelling beside the Messiah and have spoken to Little James about the topic of chronic illness quite a lot, and part of you had already made peace with it to begin with. 

“I understand,” Jesus tells you as if He can read your mind; you are convinced that He actually can, since He is the Messiah and all. “I know your thoughts and feelings, (Y/n).” 

“It’s alright,” you whisper, “I’ll be fine regardless of it. What You said to Little James actually helped me, too. Even if not in this life, this is just a speck, right? And in spite of this, I will follow You.” 

Jesus hums, a thoughtful look shining in His dark irises. “I know it isn’t easy for you regardless.” He tells you. 

“I have a good friend to look after me.” you muse. Jesus smiles gently. 

“Just a good friend, huh?” He says. Of course He knows your heart and Philip’s just as much. “It is good to see the two of you be friendly with one another. Keep each other close and let the Father do the rest.” 

Your heart rears inside your chest. 

“Now, take it easy.” Jesus tells you before standing again. Instead of reaching out for you to help you stand, He steps aside to look at Philip. The man in question takes a moment to piece together what the Messiah’s intention is, until Jesus nods towards your still-seated form. Philip takes a deep breath and approaches, holding out a hand in your direction. With clammy palms, you take it, allowing him to help you up. As he hoists you to your feet, you nearly lose your balance again, causing him to gently grab your elbows to steady you. 

“Oh!” 

“Are you okay?” 

“Yes, I’m way better. Thank you.” 

Philip clears his throat. “Would you… Um… Would you like to take a walk? Maybe some fresh air, away from the crowd, will do you some good.” You breathlessly blush, look at your brothers, at Jesus, back at Philip as they all await your answer. 

“I’d really like that, actually.” Philip lets out a sigh of relief as you accept his offer.

Jesus smiles as He watches the two of you walk off. Simon leans towards Andrew, his voice reduced to a whisper as their eyes focus on you and Philip head to the outskirts of camp to enjoy a nightly stroll. “Do you think we should prepare for… You know?” 

Andrew hums. “Honestly, I think Philip is doing a better job than we are in supporting our sister. I think we would be quite lucky to have him as our brother-in-law, to be honest.” 

Simon can’t argue with that, crossing his arms as him and Andrew observe the two shadows strolling past the horizon, feeling a sense of peace come over him at the sight. 

[luxe-pauvre]

When the body is healthy, we take it for granted. We can function very effectively without giving it a thought. Throughout any given day, the body undergoes multiple changes, which the brain assesses as normal and duly dismisses. Occasional palpitations walking up a flight of stairs; a small ache in the lower back, caused by sitting in an uncomfortable chair; altered bowel habit triggered by diet; dizziness on standing suddenly – these are only a few of the huge array of small bodily sensations that happen in varying degrees every day. They create a constant background of unobtrusive bodily white noise, to which we rarely give a second thought – unless, that is, something happens to make us pay attention. If a person has always been well and has no expectation of ill health, they will barely notice how the body reacts to activity and the environment. Their attitude to bodily changes might be different, however, if they are given good reason to notice. A person with a relative who was recently diagnosed with a serious heart condition might find it hard to dismiss palpitations that would normally go without remark. Somebody recovering from cancer might worry that fatigue could be a sign of something sinister. The body offers an ever-present potential symptom pool. There are numerous reasons why someone might start to pay undue attention to their body and, out of the white noise, pull one sensation to the fore, starting a medical hunt. Once you assess a bodily change as abnormal, it becomes a symptom. […] As I’ve already said, the processing of sensory stimuli is subject to many unconscious controls. One I have not yet given the attention it is due is the concept of filtering. At any point in time, only a fraction of potential sensory experiences available to us are in the conscious realm. […] There are so many bodily changes and sensory experiences available to us that we would not be able to concentrate if we had to think of every one, all the time. As a result, the brain filters out the excess. Beyond choosing where we want to focus our attention, most of this process occurs at an unconscious level. We have significantly less control over our senses than we think.

Suzanne O’Sullivan, The Sleeping Beauties and Other Stories of Mystery Illness

[yanderederee]

I want a yandere too. I want someone to love me even with my flaws, bc I tend to lose focus and I do things last min and I'm neurodivegent and I feel like most of my yanderes (especially baji) wouldn't judge me or see my as weird.

Just wanted to pit this out there bc I saw your tags on my last asks and I wanted to respond to that and ig start a discussion or suggestion?

I hope u accept.

For a while now, I’ve been shifting this ask through my head to conjure a proper response …

For starters, I forgot Yandere was part of the prompt I started writing; so I see this as headcanon in Baji’s actions/reactions in types of situation. I could write a whole separate indulgence piece on how yandere!Baji would develop past this:)

I find myself taking a realistic approach to it all. At first/in youth, I don’t think Baji has enough maturity to really understand other people’s neurological/psychological struggles. He’ll understand there’s some tension in those aspects, but I feel that Baji would be quick to frustrate.

Baji doesn’t understand why you’re suddenly giving him the cold shoulder, when in reality you’ve found yourself non-verbal. It wasn’t that fucking hard to place a food order?

Let Baji be dramatic at first. Let him pick apart what’s actually happening.

Once he sees the way you struggle and try to muster the courage to ask for a refill of your drink, he’s in awe with how relieved and proud of yourself you are after managing the small task.

He’d probably seem pissed off and go quiet himself, but it’s cause Baji is mulling the idea over in his head how you can’t to feel that way.

“What gets you so nervous about being in public anyway?” Baji asks blatantly.

You felt this question at the tip of his tongue all day, and while his actions were putting you more on edge, you noticed little details.

You would notice how his tone is lower, not scowling or rolling his eyes at you anymore. You could tell he felt guilty for his immaturity, after his own actions and choice of words.

Just, the way you were so quick to put up your defenses confused him.

“There’s a lot of … unknowns, I guess.. it doesn’t really make sense to me either, Keisuke… I just— my body reacts like I’m doing something, wrong. Like, I’m inconveniencing everyone around me. If I wasn’t standing here, If I wasn’t taking up someone else’s time, other people’s lives would be more… convenient.”

You could tell you were barely getting anywhere with him, but he was trying to understand. So you kept trying to help him understand.

“L-like even now… if I hadn’t dragged you out to hang out with me today, your time could have been better spent. Mikey and Draken invited you out right? But you declined on my behalf..” you smiled, but that same tinge of guilt hit hard.

“Yeah, doing the same lame shit I’ve done for the last week, no creative pass times with those bone heads sometimes,” he laughed. “You don’t think I’m having fun now?” Baji asked.

“Well, it can be hard to tell,” you chuckled back, weary of meeting his gaze. “I can’t really tell if I’m being entertaining enough, or when people get tired of my needless input. I’m.. kinda slow, I guess, I lose focus on what’s happening sometimes and suddenly I’m not on the same page as everyone anymore. But, like, with everything.”

“Does that make sense?” You sighed, heart palpitating in suspense.

It felt good to vent out all the things that made you anxious, especially when you can’t tell why most of the time. Maybe in time, it would.

Baji cycled through your words, silently.

“I… think so.” He mumbled, scratching the back of his head.

“That part of you’s kinda, what I like about you, though?”

Your eyes twitched, and with an unbelieving look, you eye him cautiously.

“Like yesterday, when you spaced out while Chifuyu and I were arguing about Gekijyo, you suddenly jumped right in with a whole other thing from left field. It was hilarious, but I just remember thinking, ‘who the hell thinks of stuff like that?!’ In-in a good way… you’re pretty smart, yaknow. I really respect the way you handle yourself when you’re caught off guard.”

“Honestly, it doesn’t make sense to me, how you go through live so cautiously and worried all the time. But you make smart analysis out of situations that seem unwindable, and,” Baji held out his hand, and carefully pulled a stray hair from your face.

“I just can’t help but like you. You’re funny, and encouraging. When you’re comfortable, you shine. I see so much passion in you, and can’t help wanting to fuel that part of you.”

Baji gently pressed his palm against your cheek.

Sure, little things could sweep you up in thought, distracting you to the point of frustration. So long as he could keep quipping back and forth, laughing, and watching you smile so genuinely— Baji imagined he could take on some of those struggles of your behalf. Maybe, with just a little weight lifted off your conscious, he could watch you grow and eventually take them on with ease, with a smile.

꘏

Over time, Baji would pick up on any stims you had, if you had any.

Started picking up on signs that something was becoming too hard for you to handle, or perhaps comprehend.

He learned your mannerisms, and how to talk out down from any panics you may undergo.

Baji takes it upon himself to learn about the people he cherishes.

He doesn’t drop people because they’re too hard to deal with. Baji doesn’t break off ties, especially when he can tell you’re working through struggles. Physical and psychological.

Baji Keisuke would eventually become surprising attentive, but mostly only with his partner.

He doesn’t walk on egg shells around them, but he will reconsider if he’s acting too harshly.

[succumbtothenightmare]

Moment of Weakness-twenty one

*credit to whoever created the gif. found on google/Pinterest *

Pairings: Mob!Bucky Barnes x reader

Warnings: language, smut, angst, fluff, affair, cheating, violence.

Summary: Reader is the assistant to New York's most feared mob boss, James Buchanan Barnes. He had the picture-perfect life: status in the mob, friends, and beautiful wife. So why can't he keep his mind and eyes off of reader?

Author's Note: so this one kind of got away from me and didn't go exactly how I planned. If I added everything that I prewrote, it would be such a long chapter and it's already late here in Wisconsin and this momma is tired. Long day of work tomorrow but updates will continue then.

Tags(closed): @splendidreads @sebsgirl71479 @mdpplgtz03 @pattiemac1 @unaxv @alana4610 @broadwaybabe18 @themayzittcha @playboystark @raajali3 @ozwriterchick @ragamuffin285 @screamingdying @themorningsunshine @kenziekugler22 @calwitch @sebastianstansqueen @stanaddict @stucky-simp03 @sleyeveryday @loustan90 @lyra-black13 @valsworldofcreativity @cjand10 @tesseract69 @batprincess1013 @subwaysurf45 @arsonfrogger @yoruse @5moremin @lipstickandtanqueray @mandijo17 @joannaromanoff @justsebstan @winters1917 @elizacusi-blog @football1921

“Sam, I swear to god,” I grumbled loud enough for the man to hear. 

“You rang?” He popped his head out of Steve’s office. 

I pointed to the spot on my desk that held my warm coffee, now missing. “Did you take my coffee?” 

Sam shook his head. “I have no idea what you’re talking about.” 

“Uh, huh,” I crossed my arms over my chest while adjusting all of my weight to the other foot. “What’s behind your back?” 

“Well, look at the time. I’ve got to go pick up something for Bucky,” Sam made a mockery of looking at his empty wrist before taking a large gulp from my coffee cup. 

I scoffed with a laugh and smacked his shoulder as he walked past me, out of the building. 

For the last week, the thick tension at work dissipated, felt more airy and easier to breathe. Steve, Sam, and I would spend the time hanging out and this was the first time in a while I had laughed or smiled like this. 

Only because Bucky had taken a small vacation this past week and a half with Natasha to visit her sister in Russia. He didn’t want to go, stating that he had a lot of work to get done here in New York but she begged him everyday for weeks until he finally agreed. 

There was no reason for Bucky to stay, the mob life had been quiet for sometime, everyone staying in their respective places and following orders. He did offer the three of us some time off but we all declined, saying that we would be in the office if someone needed something. 

No one did, which made the last week and a half agonizingly boring. 

However, Bucky was due back today and my heart wouldn’t stop the erratic palpitations for seeing him. The past two months we had kept the relationship between us strictly professional, only speaking when I needed him to sign something or when he needed me to pick something up for him. But that didn’t stop him from at least trying to talk to me about us. Every time I would either ignore him or push him away, repeating the same words each time. 

There is no us, not anymore. 

“Here you go.” 

Steve walked up from behind and handed me a fresh cup of coffee that I took with a large smile. 

“Thank you,” I took a small sip. 

While I took a seat at my desk, Steve sat in the chair on the other side and placed his ankle on his other knee, crossing his legs. 

“How are you this morning?” He asked. 

I shrugged. “To be honest, I’m not looking forward to seeing Bucky again. It’s been nice not having him here.” 

“Why didn’t you quit?” Steve wondered. 

The pen twirled between my fingers. “Someone made it worth staying.” 

He hummed in agreement before silence fell between us, the only sound coming from the pen scratching against the paper. Steve did this every morning this past week, watching me work with a small smile on his face. With Bucky gone, he needed someone else to watch to make sure they’re safe; me. 

Steve came with me every time I had to run an errand or was there at the end of the night to walk me to my car. We had become close again, not like how we used to be, only because I was afraid of ruining that friendship again. My heart ached knowing I had hurt him in my choice of Bucky and Steve didn’t deserve that, not again. So, as much as my mind wondered what my life could have been with him I forced myself to not think of it for the sake of my feelings. 

“So, what's the lunch plan for today?” Sam asked as he returned from wherever he went. 

My eyes doubled when I realized that I had been engrossed in work that I hadn’t realized what time it was. 

“Have you been sitting there the whole time?” I asked Steve. 

He nodded while lifting up the book he had been reading. “It helps that the company has been nice.” 

“Alright,” I stood to my feet and placed my bag over my shoulder. “What do you guys want today?” 

“Burgers from Big Mikes,” they both said in unison. 

I chuckled. “Again? That’s the third time this week. I’m pretty sure you two are the reason why his bar stays in business.” 

“His burgers are the best,” Sam said while Steve agreed. 

“Whatever you say,” I shook my head with another laugh. 

Steve stood to his feet. “Do you want me to come with you?” 

I placed a gentle hand on his arm. “I’ll be fine. His bar is right down the road.” 

With a quick wave, I was out the door, a smile wide on my face. 

What the fuck did I just see? It couldn’t have been her, right? This woman had a beer in her hand. Or what looked like a drink anyway. Plus, she looked the same size since I saw her a few weeks ago. Shouldn’t she be showing by now?

My mind was so clouded with what I had seen at the bar that I didn’t realize the hard chest I collided with until it was too late. Two strong arms wrapped around my back to catch me before I fell. 

“Oh shit,” I cursed, doing my best to save the bag of food I had almost dropped. 

“Are you alright?”

Bucky stared down at me, concern in his eyes.

I felt frozen in his embrace, the familiarity causing my heart pace to quicken. It had been so long since I felt him around me, this close, and I yearned to feel it again. My body ached for it.  

“Uh, yeah. Sorry I didn’t mean to run into you,” I apologized, voice only above a whisper. 

“It’s alright,” his voice was deep. 

I swallowed thickly, trying to gain the courage to remove myself from him. He knew that if I stayed in his arms a second longer, I would fold and give into him. 

“I should get Steve and Sam their lunch,” I held up the bag. 

Bucky nodded and reluctantly let me go.

“If you want, I can head back out to grab you something,” I offered while standing tall on my feet. 

“No, it’s alright. I ate before I came in.” 

We both stood there, unsure who would make the first move, and I drank in his appearance. His hair was a bit thicker than the last time I had seen him and he skipped shaving because his beard peppered his cheeks. Bucky had opted to dress casual today, not adorning his usual suits. The blue shirt that clung to every muscle in his chest did wonders for his eyes. 

Bucky looked fucking delicious and my body trembled with the urge to pull him into me, his lips on mine. Thankfully, Sam had shown up when he did.

“Oh, perfect. I’m starving,” he exclaimed while taking the bag from me. “Steve’s office?” 

Finally tearing my gaze away from Bucky’s, I nodded with a smile to Sam. “Yeah, let me put my things away and I’ll be in there.” 

Sam was gone, leaving Bucky and I alone yet again and he raised his brow. 

“We’ve been having lunch together in Steve’s office the last couple days,” I informed. 

Bucky stuffed his hands deep into his pockets. “Well I don’t want to keep you, go ahead.” 

With a small smile, I ducked my head and moved around him only to halter my steps when his voice spoke. 

“Do you think you could stay late tonight? Since I’ve been gone, my work has piled up and I could use some help.” 

I hesitated. “Are you sure that’s a good idea?” 

He clasped his hands together. “I promise it’ll be strictly for work. I’m being truthful here, Y/N. I really need your help.”

“Okay,” I nodded before thinking about the consequences that would follow from tonight. 

With a swift turn on my heels, I scurried into Steve’s office. 

Everything was still, quiet, as Bucky scanned through the list of unread emails that filled his inbox while I rambled on about what he had missed. 

“Mr. Stark will wire you the first payment on the sixth. Dr. Banner said the first trial of his beta serum was a failure but he’ll keep trying. And Peter Parker was caught dealing on Thor’s streets again but I handled it. I had to go to New Asgard to talk with Thor but it’s fine.” 

Bucky ran an exhausted hand over his face until he sat up straighter, eyes boring into me. “Thor?” 

I shifted in my seat. “Yeah, when I was there he apologized for his actions that night. I guess he wanted to extend an olive branch by letting Peter walk away scott free.” 

“Did Thor-?” His shoulders were rigid with anger. 

“No,” I quickly shook my head. “Steve was with me so nothing happened. I was fine.” 

“Oh,” Bucky relaxed. “Good, I’m glad Steve was with you.” 

With a quick glance at my watch, I let out a tired sigh when I noticed it was nearing seven p.m., two hours past the time I should have gone home. 

“Do you need anything else from me or could I head home? I want to get there before it gets dark.” 

There hadn’t been any news on if Clint’s hit on me was still on the airwaves, but I still wanted to take precautions, just in case. 

“Sure. I’ll see you in the morning,” Bucky gave me a forced smile. “Thanks, Y/N.” 

I gave him a curt nod and rushed to my desk, hoping the memories of Bucky and I together in his office would fade. It had been unbearable to sit there for the last couple hours and not think of the way he had bent me over the desk to take me from behind. Or when he spread my legs wide for him on the couch, his tongue exploring the most prized area between my legs. 

There was even a point in the night that we stood close to each other, his scent engulfing my senses, while I had him sign some papers. Our lips were meters apart and I could feel his warm breath fan over mine. My heart was beating loudly in my ear as I nearly let it all go. 

The burning itch of desire pooled into my panties, soaking them, as I continued to think of Bucky’s skin on mine, his cock slowly sliding in and out of my folds.

I felt a warm breath on the back of my neck while I was packing up my things, Bucky’s vibranium fingers tracing up the bare skin of my arm. 

“Bucky,” I warned breathlessly. 

“I miss the way you smelled, doll,” his nose buried deep into the crook of my neck. 

I turned in his embrace and placed my hands firm on his chest. “You need to stop.” 

“I can’t,” he almost whined. “I’m trying to stay away from you but it’s too fucking hard.” 

“You’re ridiculous,” I rolled my eyes while pushing him away. 

With my bag over my shoulder, I began to button my jacket which made him reach for my hands to stop me. 

“Can I at least walk you to your car?” Bucky asked. 

“Goodnight, Bucky. I’ll see you tomorrow.” 

I removed his hands from mine and placed them onto his chest, them lingering for a few moments as our gazes locked. I let out a shaky breath and forced myself to leave, before everything went to hell.

[soup-scope]

DUN DUN!

You have been bitten by the mutual virus. To cure yourself, you must provide one reason why you follow each of your mutuals before sending this to others (whether mutuals or not) while in anon.

Good luck!

This… is gonna be so long…..

@star-sheeps : absolutely fucking hilarious. i always catch myself giggling whenever i see one of ur posts!! i also loved the ‘styling the listeners’ lil series u were doing i love fashion content sm. you were also one of the first people i followed when i first joined the redacted fandom🫡🫡

@caramel-metal : you somehow find the funniest shit to ever exist. your blog is a genuine gold mine for content i would’ve have seen otherwise it’s so‼️‼️‼️‼️

@taelonsamada : i thought it was a mistake when u followed me back 😭😭 but ī absolutely ADORE your writing. i constantly find myself rereading between me you and the fence post ehehehe. i’m gonna be ordering your new book soon and i’ve been vibrating at a frequency that’s impossible to witness with the naked eye (translation: im very excited)

@davidsfanclub : ANOTHER PERSON THAT MAKES ME GIGGLE. i loved ur angel design the first time i saw them and it’s genuinely infected and rotted my brain like THATS how i see angel too now omg. a very creative mind that makes me want to nibble on it

@artbykays : another person who i thought followed me back by mistake. *THE* best listener designs omg. THE ANGEL DESIGN EVER. AAAAAAAAAAAA. i genuinely love ur redacted art sm i had heart palpitations the day u followed me back

@basiliskbrews : another one of my first moots!!! i love citrus with a burning passion. i witnessed u rebrand ur blog and i still absolutely adore all and any content you put out. your vega and warden design has me frothing and convulsing on the ground like a fish abandoned on a deck.

@mothmayhem : I MISS YOU💕💕💕 another moot that has me giggling and kicking my feet. constantly has me twirling my hair and laughing ehehehe. i still can’t get over how you CALLED the david and asher proposals like dawg. how

@beedoes-stuff : GIGGLE ALERT. aka another moot that makes me laugh my ass off. not only do u post absolute bangers you have a tendency to reblog them too and i always have to put my phone down for a few mins

@themonotonysyndrome : it took me three tries to spell ur user right. we got another castin lover in this house 🤝🤝 i want to bite you on the head and then maul you. (all said with love and extreme amounts of affection) I LOVE HOW U TALK ABOUT BRIGHT AAAAA. i want to take a gigantic chunk out of ur writing i love it sm it has me rolling around and flailing

@falkea : MISS YOU💕💕. THE ANGEL DESIGN THAT EXECUTED ME ON THE SPOT. i hit the floor when u followed me back like my mouth was AGAPE. your quinn and darlin art genuinely changed my brain chemistry i will never be the same. a very big art inspiration for me. i shake with anticipation whenever i wait for ur next posts.

@vaselinepot : sometimes all you need is a silly lil moot who says the funniest shit unprompted. sometimes i have to put my phone down and breathe. i miss u vaseline come home

@darlin-collins : ANOTHER MOOT THAT MAKES ME LAUGH. YALL ARE FUNNY AS FUCK. however whenever you talk about the imperium i have to mentally prepare myself to be mentally and physically crushed.

@jollyfang : I LOVE THE REDACTED ART SM AAAAAA. another person who’s follow sent me into cardiac arrest. THE GAVIN DESIGN THAT HAD ME SWEATING. i love how you draw portraits it has me falling in love with ur art all over again when i see that u post.

@thevqid : i think we need to sit down and have a talk. idk about what. i just know that one of us isn’t leaving that room alive. said with all the love i can possibly muster. i love u tho💕💕

@beemybella : genuinely one of the sweetest people i’ve ever interacted with. i love being on ur tag list smth whenever you post it tosses me out of artblock and FILLS me with inspiration 💕💕

@konnorhasapen : PIRATE AU PIRATE AU AAAAAAAAA. i love your writing sm i need to be beaten back with a stick. i’m going to fist fight with you in a parking lot one of these days. i’m so glad you made it back into ur account. i love u sm from afar i feel like a maiden waiting for her husband to return home from the war.

@bratty-telepath : so shape. so shape. i love how stylized your work is. make an art book. please. graphic design IS your passion like pls spare some good character designs and interesting layouts for the rest of us. another moot who id be down the fist fight. this is a fight that i know id get my ass kicked during tho. like my body bent at angles no one is capable of. said with love ofc

@lovesstateofmatter : i always forget we’re moots until you interact with my shit and i bounce around for 5 minutes straight. YOUR BLAKE AND ELLIOT ART. I STILL THINK ABOUT IT. that’s fr how i imagine them now 😭😭

@friendly-waffles : TANKTANKTANKTANKTANK I LOBE UR TANK DESIGJ SM AAAAAAA. AND ANGEL AAAAA. i want to bite your art and SHAKE like a rabid animal. i think about ur sam and darlin art daily. i hit the floor when we became moots

@peraltuki : THE WWDITS X REDACTED VIDS 😭😭 we joined the redacted tumblr at like the same time so i feel a bonded connection to u. ily. you have the best fucking posts they have me sobbing on the floor (cause i giggle too hard)

@doodleanddie : your redacted doodles killed me, sent me to heaven, then dragged me back down to hell and then reincarnated me as a fly. i love ur art and all ur doodles have so much character it’s WILD. (i miss u💕)

@epsi-l0n - your thoughts are so incredibly big brained i want to pick apart ur brain and take a few bites while i’m at it. i think if we fought it’d be the battle of the ages. simply because i think we both *CANT* fight so it’d just be entertaining to every witness

@dollvre : VINCENT STAN HIIIIII. finding another vincent lover and taylor swift enjoyer in this fandom had my brain exploding. tell me what zsakuva videos i should watch. i’m too indecisive to choose what series i want to get into. i think we need to hold hands and exchange rings 👍

@mrsmiagreer : Niyah i would genuinely kill for you. tell me a name. or names. plural. i would quite literally do anything for you. say the word. BUT I LOVE UR WRITING SM PLS MAKE A TAGLIST PLS

@oceanicwhitetipshark : whenever i feel myself drifting from redacted. i get a notif that you’ve posted and i’m immediately pulled back in by all ur writings and your thoughts. ur genuinely so talented and so incredibly sweet di i’m very glad we’re moots

@kelseadelle : i’ve never loved women more in my entire life. the way u draw has me wanting to sacrifice myself to the nearest woman for no reason other than that they’re a woman. your evie and ranger art. id give anything to be a werewolf.

@romeo-the-homeo : there can only be one trans jackass in the redacted fandom there isn’t enough room for the both of us. we should totally combine our physical forms and ascend to a higher form of being. and then get a wendy’s frosty or smth.

@plutobutartsy : stella. LIGHT OF MY LIFE💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕 I LOVE UR DESIGNS SM YOUR ART IS SO BEAUTIFUL I LOVE HOW YOU SEE THE LISTENERS AAAAA. YOUR FAITHFUL DESIGN HAS SHOT ME THROUGH THE HEART ILY AAAAAAA

@clover-46 : whenever smth messy happens i always appear in ur dms 😭😭 i love obsessing over hush with you and giggling in our dms💕💕. YOUR DESIGNS SLAP SO HARD. i hope you know that i think of your milo design on the daily. he’s my little girlfriend and i’ve never wanted anything more in my entire life

@celestecreateschaos : trying to type out ur user gave me an aneurysm. I ALSO MISS GEORDI SM WHERE IS HE. you’re genuinely so funny you constantly have me giggling. i wanna tape an x-ray of ur brain to my wall.

@venuslove-28-replies : HIIIIOIOIIIIOOOOEDIIWIWISIDOW. one of these days i’m going to shake you so hard you come apart like a mr potato head. your art has me wanting to bite you and not let go. all your designs have me AAAAKAOSAIKALA

@peacefullibrarian : i will never get over that one piece of writing u did about lasko and his listener. the “like the fan” has me slamming myself into the ground imagining them interacting. make a tag list. make a tagLIST RN AND ADD ME

@morgansplace : hi king i’m going to evict you from this plane of existence. (translation: i love you and i love how incredibly creative you are. i want to eat ur nails. i think we could solve all the worlds problems if we held hands and spun in a circle until we fell over from dizziness. i think it’d be nice)

@heshheshfish : omw to send u a cease a desist. your walls are very comfortable. i have officially devoured all tress-passers who have crossed my unwelcome path. i only accept offerings in the form of whole blocks of cheddar cheese. (translation: hi hehe)

@teaseat : i don’t think i can genuinely put into words how much i love u tea. you have me CACKLING. and other days you have me needing to put down my phone to take a minute. anyways. IN SO GLAD IM IN UR TAGLIST HEHEHE I LOVE UR WRITING SM AAAAAAA

@deviantaj : you make me want to listen to marina and the diamonds and then kill someone. aj ily. you make me giggle. i think if we were ever put into the same room we’d probably cause a cataclysmic event that no one could ever recover from.

@swanconcerto : HOLLYYYYYYYYYYUEJFJE. ily holly my favorite person to ever exist you have me twirling my hair and giggling i’d give anything to exist in ur presence. holly i am in ur basement.

@messenger-of-stupidity : i love your writing so much it has completely rewired my brain i think we should tussle outside and then hold pinky’s or smth. THE VEGA LOVE>>>>> i wait with baited breath for your vega fic

@shawslut : i love ur blog layout sm how do you do it. we both go by ray/rae so i think maybe we should do a lil dance to decide which ones superior. your geordi fic had me wanting to test the sharpness of my new kitchen knives. i will eat you one of these days.

@4letteraroace : i want to bite your hands so bad bro. i still think about ur darlin dance fic. now i know nothing about dance but i could fucking picture what was going on and it HURT. i think your keyboard deserves to be taken away. it should also be taken away because of how u interact with lemon on a daily basis 😭😭

@milosirlgf : hi jaydyn i think one of these days you’ll genuinely rule the world so pls remember that i am nothing but ur undying servant hi. i’m going to empty my life savings in ur name.

@terrazaurio : YOUR DAVID AND ANGEL DESIGN AAAAAAAAA RAHHHHHHHH. i want to bite someone’s head off. i get horrific cute aggression whenever i see your work. i think if we ever existed in the same section of the universe the space time continuum would collapse

@goodboyaudios : i think we should fist fight.

@tunasfishbowl : i think we should paint each others nails and then watch horror movies. tuna ur designs have me gasping for air on a daily basis i lost my mind when we became moots.

@yoteako : THE LASKO DESIGN EVER. INCREDIBLE WOLF BOY DESIGNS. i lobe how u draw them as grown men. idk if that makes any sense but it does to me. also enlightened me to the idea that is vega and brachium omg the most brain idea ever. when we became moots i breakdanced on the hardwood floor

@echovale052 : HI ECHOOO i’m taking a few chomps out of all of ur works like your art style is so pleasant i wanna EAT IT. i think that if we fought we’d probably end up destroying a few small towns.

@kittyshaw : HI REIIIIIII 💕💕💕💕 genuinely one of my fav people. you have the best takes and omg i love ur headcanons sm. i am going to eat ur brain one of these days. any second you aren’t moving i’m only getting closer

@lovelylonerliterature : i’ve read your cutie/geordi fix it fic an ungodly amount of times. (also a shadows appeal……) i love ur writing and interpretations of the redacted characters so much. your ability to capture angst has me wanting to throw myself into the abyss.

@elisacaleisa : another user i struggled to spell 💔💔. THE BEST MORGAN DESIYJ IVE EVER SEEN THATS MY MAN THATS MY WIFE I LOST MY SHIT M.LWFIIWKSJWIWO. i’m going to bite and shake your gavin design. i think our brains should combine at some point for fun

@sweetlemongrove : Lemon u are the light of my life. please make a taglist and add me to it. i love you. THE LOMLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL. also ur blog layout is so pretty what.

I LOVE YOU ALL MOOTS‼️‼️‼️

(Ok but in all seriousness. This is my first time ever really fully interacting with a fandom and not just lurk. To be able to interact with an incredibly creative and kind fandom has been a pleasure :)))) thank you all for all the work you do!!!!)

[lusterlilit]

Recently I’ve been going about my days on an awful sleep schedule and I’ve been experiencing all these side effects (fatigue, heart palpitations, paranoia etc you get the deal) meanwhile all I can think of is Henry, a known insomniac, who was dealing with all sorts of bullshit throughout the book. Like yeah no shit he had a ritualistic orgy in the forest, no shit he wanted to poison his bff (and himself!!!) with mushrooms, no shit he was bending over backwards to make sure he didn’t get caught.

[macbetha]

skts wip // twilight au

🍎🎹🌲🌧️

“Just what age have ya been tellin’ folks to swindle them?”

“I’m eighteen,” Kiyoomi says in his pretty black rasp, wearing the innocence of a doe.

Atsumu crosses his arms against the forest chill and raises his chin. “How long have you told people that?”

Kiyoomi’s gaze moves to a glistening spider web drooping low in the trees. The spider glitters like a yellow diamond in the morning fog and Kiyoomi watches it like he envies the vermin.

Desperation bangs in Atsumu’s rib cage and Kiyoomi looks at him, alarmed, eyes lowering to Atsumu’s chest.

Something solidifies in Kiyoomi’s expression. “I’ve celebrated my eighteenth birthday eighteen times.”

Atsumu can’t do mental math on his best days, but he knows the answer is astounding. Kiyoomi is over three-hundred years old.

Kiyoomi lets him stare for a time. Atsumu can’t think of anything to say and he isn’t sure what he’s looking for as he bores into the vampire’s face. He might be having a breakdown.

“You’re palpitating,” Kiyoomi whispers, not unkindly.

“I think I got a good excuse.” Atsumu rubs his chest with a wince. He turns around to pace the forest floor, showing his back to Kiyoomi with no care for his personal safety. Kiyoomi is likely more dangerous than a bear or any predator Atsumu could ever dream of, yet he doesn’t feel the need to protect himself.

Atsumu stops short and faces Kiyoomi. “Your friends. They’re like you.”

Kiyoomi’s voice tightens a fraction. “I didn’t say that.” He offers no further denial.

Atsumu’s first thought goes to Bokuto. How could someone so warm and lively be undead? Oikawa makes a little sense. He has the confidence of someone unimpressed with all the consequences that haunt most people. Ushijima, with his absurd height and stone-hard disposition, could definitely pass as some kind of Frankenstein monster, but Bokuto? Akaashi?

Perhaps it’s his own selfishness that leaves Atsumu feeling betrayed. He’s just the new guy that caught Kiyoomi’s attention; a foolish human with no instincts for self-preservation.

Yet the way Kiyoomi strains with concern makes Atsumu feel like more.

Regret lines his face. His steps are heavy with caution when he dares closer to Atsumu - like he will touch him, hold him, make them one in whatever way Atsumu needs right now.

Atsumu remains perfectly still as Kiyoomi drops their foreheads together and exhaustion roughens the vampire’s voice. “This isn’t your problem, Atsumu.” His nose nuzzles lightly against Atsumu’s cheek, and he sighs.

Atsumu’s lips part to taste his cool breath. He dips closer but Kiyoomi takes his face in big hands to hold him in place. Kiyoomi kisses his forehead, then strokes his cheeks as someone would handle glass.

Atsumu wraps his hand around Kiyoomi’s wrist. No pulse thrums beneath his fingers. “You think I’m scared of ya, Omi?”

The vampire twitches a smirk, giving a peek of fang. Atsumu must lock his knees to keep from wavering. “You should be,” Kiyoomi murmurs. His fingertips play at the hair around Atsumu’s ears and rasp along his undercut. Kiyoomi shakes his head hopelessly. “You make me feel like I’m no stronger than a lamb. All my control has become a stranger.”

“You want me,” Atsumu goads, uncaring about the quiver in his voice.

Kiyoomi doesn’t say anything, just keeps touching him. He cups the side of Atsumu’s throat and his eyes concentrate on a fluttering point of skin. He isn’t blinking. It’s nothing evil that fills his gaze, not to say it isn’t dooming. Atsumu wants to taste the unknown.

He places a hand to the vampire’s chest and grips his shirt. Kiyoomi’s gaze darts to his face. “You want me,” Atsumu whispers again with a pleading hitch. His hand flattens over where Kiyoomi’s heart should beat.

The words tumble out of Kiyoomi, his voice unrecognizable like the red flare in his eyes, and never stronger. “I want you.”

He lets Atsumu pull him in.