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not-xpr-art · 4 years ago

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Art Advice #4 - A Beginner’s Guide to Digital Art

Hi all!

This weeks entry into my Art Advice tag, where I offer various advice for artists of any skill level, is about digital art! Now, I am by no means an expert at digital (I’ve been doing it for nearly 8 years at this point and that is almost entirely self taught), but I have picked up a few pointers in that time which will hopefully help anyone just starting out!

(this blogpost is a little over 2000 words long btw)

A Beginner’s Guide to Digital Art

I know that the world of digital art has changed drastically in the 8 odd years since I started, but I’d still say that some of the options I started out with will be just as good for anyone who’s starting out now!

As always, I’ll be splitting this into sections to make it easier for you to navigate this post!

Part 1 - Equipment/Hardware

There are a lot of drawing tablet options on the market at the moment, and I’m not going to pretend that I know anything about half of them lol. But I think for a beginner, don’t worry about going for the most expensive option, even if the reviews are really good or your favourite artist uses it, especially if it is way above your budget!

An important thing to know is that there are two types of tablet. One is the plug-in kind. These are essentially a pad which you plug into your laptop or computer and draw on that whilst looking at the screen (they basically work the same way as a plug in mouse works). The other kind is the screen variety, which is a lot more like what most of us know as ‘tablets’ nowadays. And you draw directly onto the screen.

(a plug-in vs on screen tablet, both from Wacom)

Now, as for choosing between these, it is honestly a personal choice. But I’d say if you’re just wanting to try digital and you’re on a budget, a plug-in tablet can be really useful since it gets you used to the mechanics of what digital is like, and they are often significantly cheaper than the screen alternatives. I would say that plug-in tablets are a big learning curve, especially if you’re used to doing traditional stuff, but I do know a lot of professional artists who still use this kind of tablet when doing their work, so if it’s something you can get used to I would definitely consider it! Also, they’re often a lot more portable than some screen tablets! The first one I had was a Huion (a model so old that I can’t even find a link to it now lol), and I also know that Wacom are a well known brand that do some decent plug-in tablet. I’d recommend you do your own research on other brands and options, though!

Screen tablets are often a lot more expensive, but if you’re used to traditional art, they are a lot easier to get a handle of! But I know if you already have something like an iPad, or other general use tablets, then they offer apps that you can use to draw on (as well as things like the Apple pen, or other stylus’). The big difference between using these general tablets and ones specifically designed for drawing is pretty much purely a personal choice. I personally prefer the bigger screen of my XP-Pen tablet, along with a special screen protector that removes the shininess of the tablet screen and makes it feel more like ‘paper’ over when I used a general use tablet it draw. But if you already have an iPad, or something similar, then it’s honestly a really great starting point!

I think it’s important for me to mention that you don’t need fancy equipment to be an artist. The incredible Elicia Donze has revealed countless times how she has very basic equipment but still manages to produce the most stunning artworks! All you really need is some kind of drawing apparatus and a lot of patience lol! Getting good at any kind of art takes a lot of time and effort, but I would definitely say it’s worth it when you’re able to look back at your progress!

Part 2 - Software/Drawing Programs

Much like with the hardware discussion, choosing which program to use is entirely down to personal preference. I personally have never really liked Photoshop purely because it’s really complicated, but I know so many artists swear by it.

I think the main aspect to consider when you’re starting out is whether you want to pay for a program. Software like Photoshop, Clip Studio Paint and Procreate are some of the popular ones I hear about a lot of people using, but all require you to purchase or subscribe to them. So if you’re young or on a very tight budget, I’d honestly recommend the free alternative versions of these, such as Krita (Krita is quite a large program, but it has a lot of really awesome features and is very similar to Photoshop!), Gimp (this one is similar to Krita, but has slightly less options, I’d honestly recommend Gimp for anyone who does photo editing though!) or FireAlpaca (this is the one I use, by the way and it’s a pretty simple program, but has a lot of fantastic features and is perfect for how I work!). These don’t have as many features as some of the paid alternatives, but I honestly think all you really need to start digital art is some kind of ‘canvas’ and set of brushes!

Another great free program for beginners I’d recommend is MyPaint, which is great for doodling and just getting used to how digital art feels in comparison to traditional! It also has a bunch of ‘traditional style’ brushes, to make it look like charcoal or watercolour (which I’m sure the paid alternatives have too, but it’s always better when it’s free, I find lol...)

(this is an example of a drawing I did on MyPaint using the ‘charcoal’ effect brush!)

Most of the sites are pretty self explanatory, with sections dedicated to different brushes (I’ll go into the types of brushes later on in this post btw!), adjusting brush size, shape and opacity, a colour wheel, etc. You also have a section dedicated to ‘layers’ (another thing I’ll go into more detail later), and various ‘filters’ and editing options and effects you can add to your work to make it more interesting!

I’d really just recommend playing around with programs until you find your one!

Part 3 - The Pros of Digital Art!

I realise this section should probably earlier in this blog post lol, but I kinda wanted to go into what digital art can achieve in comparison to traditional art, and how beginner artists can utilise this!

I definitely didn’t take advantage of certain aspects of digital art when I first got into it, and they’re things that would have definitely made my life a whole lot easier lol!

Digital art allows you to tweak drawings as you do them. So if you accidentally drew the eye too far to the right, then you can easily move it to the right place. (I usually do this by selecting whichever area is wrong, cutting it out and then pasting it into a new area... And yes, there is probably a better and quick way of doing this but...I haven’t found that way yet lol...). And I honestly think that this has allowed me to look a lot more at a reference image in order to figure out where I’ve gone wrong with a drawing! Whereas with traditional art, I usually spend so long trying to get an eye right, that even if it’s slightly in the wrong place, I don’t want to completely redo that section. Digital allows you to completely rub out sections without leaving indents, which is honestly such a saving grace!

Another pro of digital is the Undo/Ctrl Z function! This means you can easily go back to before you made a major mistake with just a click of Ctrl Z... Though I have to say that this function has honestly ruined traditional art for me... Oh what wouldn’t I give for a real life Ctrl Z... But yeah, this is a great part of digital art and definitely something you will grow to love lol!

Another great thing about digital is that it allows you to flip and turn a canvas as you’re drawing on it. I spent a lot of time trying to turn my tablet around in order to draw certain parts of a piece before I realised you can turn the canvas itself without having to move yourself or your tablet!

Layers are another part of digital that can be super useful, and I have to be honest but I don’t really use them a lot. I know a lot of artists create layers for every section of their artworks (so, one for the linework, one for colouring, a separate one for the background, etc etc...). And there’s something really great about being able to paint without worrying about smudging into a previous section of the painting. This works well for my work since I do a lot of bright backgrounds. I also often create a lot of ‘versions’ of my works, so it’s useful to be able to change the background without affecting the main figure of the piece! (I have to say that I often work in one big layer when I’m doing paintings, just because I like how it feels more like ‘traditional’ art that way, but layers are such a brilliant tool, and definitely something you should play around with!)

The eyedropper tool is another one that is really useful! Although I never colour pick from my reference photos, I know some artists find this useful when they were just starting out (especially if you’re not sure what colour to make shadows or how to mix skin tones, etc etc). The eyedropper basically means you don’t need to mix your colours every time

Part 4 - Just some other things I wish I had known about when I was starting out lol...

This last section is just dedicated to a few things that I would have liked to have known when I was just starting out all those years ago.

First one is fluffy/textured brushes!

I spent most of my art life from 2013 until 2016 using ‘round’ brushes which are notoriously hard to blend with, so I’d recommend either downloading some fluffy/textured brushes (DeviantArt was where I got mine from a few years back, but there are probably other places you can get them for free too!) to your program of choice, since most of the programs I’ve used haven’t had fluffy/textured brushes as pre-set.

I may make another post about how I blend in my artworks if that’s something people would be interested in?

(this is an example of textured brush blending vs round brush blending... I usually opt for round brushes for rougher blending styles and the textured brushes for more smooth and ‘realistic’ blending... for a lot of pieces, though, I use both brushes (the round brushes are good for details!) in the same way that you use different sized brushes for real paintings!)

The next thing I wish I’d discovered earlier is the Brush Stabiliser option. Some programs may do this automatically, but the one I use (FireAlpaca) requires you to manually change the amount of stabilising you have on your brush. This is particularly useful if you want to draw neat lines or straight lines (the stabiliser essentially slows down the ‘ink’ as you’re drawing). I only recently started using the stabiliser, and although I still like having it mostly turned ‘off’ for doing sketchy work, it does make doing line work a lot easier, and also gives pieces a more polished look!

Next advice is to explore all the options you can in whatever program you use!

I feel like with certain programs, you can get overwhelmed by choice and you end up just using a few of the functions. But I’d really recommend just playing around with these programs, trying all the filters and editing options to get used to how the program works. You can often find interesting ways to adjust your artworks this way! In a way I’d recommend this way of working more than finding tutorials made by other people... Unless there’s a specific function you want to learn how to do, just having fun with digital art is a major part of it’s appeal to me!

There are probably a lot of other options I could go into, but this is already over 2000 words long, so I’ll leave it here for now lol! (I may do a part 2 though so... keep a look out for that!)

As always, if you have any questions to things I’ve said here, or are just looking for more advice, don’t hesitate to message me!

And if you like my work on here (art & blog posts) feel free to support me on my Ko-Fi! <3

#art advice #digital art #art advice for beginners #digital art for beginners #artist advice #digital art tips #artists on tumblr #just want to say again that i am not an expert at this at ALL lol #i just want to offer some really basic advice to anyone interested in starting out with digital!

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dragonrajafanfiction · 4 years ago

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Tokyo Love Story (Part 3) Ghosts

.... .... The clouds are gathering...

@rurifangirl

Like the summer days and winter nights in the arctic, it was getting hard for you to keep track of time. So when Caesar taps on the closet door to wake you up, you almost ask what day it is wondering if you sleep for 3 days straight, like before.

You still feel a little achy in your bones but otherwise your pain is gone. There is only the lingering fatigue and gnawing hunger. Caesar was prepared with a hearty breakfast of oatmeal fruit and eggs.

“Eat up and get dressed. We have a lot to talk about.” He was not dressed in his flamboyant work clothes so it must not be evening just yet. He had on a simple grey sweatshirt and jeans. Still, you pause and look because it was so rare to see the Gattuso heir dressed so casually. He tosses you some clothes and you catch them.

They were nothing like the sexy cheongsams that you were used to wearing, just a simple woven sweater and puffy slacks. Comfortable, like his clothing was. In fact, the sleeves were a bit too long. You open the door of the closet and yawn, rubbing your sleeve against your eye. The men had bathed already. Caesar was sitting in a chair slightly too short for him. Chu Zihang was leaning on the wall next to him, in a button down shirt and dark pants, arms crossed, his long sword slung behind his back. He looked at you pointedly, but didn’t say anything.

“Where’s Mingfei?” You ask, looking left and right for him.

“Lu Mingfei is on a special assignment. Turns out he escaped from Genji Heavy Industries by being mistaken for evacuees. And he just happened to have the young Uesugi Clan chief with him.” Caesar sat back in the chair making it creak. Despite the sweatshirt, there was no hiding the musculature there.

“Oh… Is that bad?”

“It’s good and bad.” Caesar said. “There’s a lot I can say about her. To start, it looks like she’s been extremely isolated her entire life. According to Lu Mingfei, her living quarters in Genji was a replica of an old Japanese house. It doesn’t seem like she was ever let outside of it. While we were watching her, she was just sitting and listening to birds. So it's reasonable to believe that the area was nearly soundproof.”

You’re still hungry so you make your way over to a minifridge they had delivered and grab a small tub of yogurt. “That’s awful.”

Caesar shrugged. “It’s all she knows. The theory is her mind is so unstable she couldn’t handle a drastic change in environment without losing control. But… in this case. Mingfei said that she insisted he stay in the room with her for comfort. Because she seems to have an odd trust in him, his presence puts her mind at ease. Taking him away would be dangerous, so we thought it best he stay with her for now.”

“Mmm… I guess that’s okay if she’s okay with it. After all, it’s how I’ve been living all this time.” You say.

Caesar eyes you silently for a moment.

You continue. “I just … wonder if Lu Mingfei will be okay with it. He’s kind of a perv.”

“You picked up on that too huh?” Caesar grinned bitterly.

“Right. He was always anxious about my so-called purity, he must have been having impure thoughts.” You take a bite of yogurt thinking to yourself. Mingfei is the brother of Z after all.

“He might have those thoughts but he’s terrified of her.” Chu Zihang muttered. “And with good reason. You never said anything about it so I assume you didn’t know how we all escaped the Trieste disaster. You said you were rescued by dolphins, but if it weren't for Uesugi you wouldn’t have survived long enough for rescue.”

You pause, spoon hanging from your mouth. “I thought you blew up the monsters with Royal Fire?”

“I tried, but Royal Fire is limited in water.” He fixed you with his cold gaze. “It was really Erii Uesugi who destroyed the remaining enemies by producing a massive iceberg out of thin air and ramming it into the beasts. They were all eliminated in one blow. I thought I’d never see anyone with a Yanling that powerful… but…” Chu Zihang trailed off.

“So she saved us?” You ask.

“We don’t think it was intentional to save us. We just happened to be saved.” Caesar replied.

“That Yanling is called 'Judgment' and is so powerful that it makes her look like a god standing in the clouds judging humans, hence the name. But the actual effect is to eliminate all life in its field. It’s a rare 'command' type of spirit of speech." Chu Zihang continued. He then glanced at Caesar.

You start to get a strangely uneasy feeling. Like there was something they wanted to say but were nervous about saying it. Your eyes shift from Chu Zihang to Caesar. “So… what’s the plan? Are we holding her hostage or...”

Caesar chuckled in disbelief at the notion. “We can’t hold someone like that hostage. Chisei Gen we can capture, but her? Her power surpasses his.” He sighs.

Chu Zihang lets out a breath. “Chisei is supposed to be the strongest a White King Hybrid can get. He surpasses the blood-threshold and still remains sane. The only explanation for her being stronger than him is that the Uesugi family head is an anomaly. She is the strongest Ghost. She surpasses Chisei but her bloodline is not stable." Chu Zihang said slowly.

“So she’s like me.” You raise your eyes to him.

Chu Zihang’s eyes shift from yours “You were not as unstable as she is. That said, your use of Blood Rage has not helped matters. Without specialized equipment, I can’t tell how unstable you are.”

Your heart beats a little faster and your eyes widen. “Are you scared of me?”

“MC… relax!” Caesar says sharply. “Both Chu Zihang and I have already talked it through. It was fine keeping you here, so it should be fine to keep Erii in the short term. Especially keeping Erii out of the hands of Hydra while we wait to get in contact with the Academy.”

“Then… … if she does endanger Mingfei, I will fight her?” You ask quietly.

“You’re the only one who could stand a chance.” Chu Zihang said.

“But let’s not jump to such dark conclusions yet.” Caesar gives Chu Zihang a steady warning look and you wonder if Chu Zihang told Caesar that he was authorized to kill you if needed. Caesar said they had talked it over, but you’re getting the feeling that the talk was more of an argument. Chu Zihang was going along with it, but they were not of the same mind.

“It’s hard not to think that though.” You say. I’ve been questioning for a long time why I was awakened and sent here with you after being asleep for 20 years. I’ve always been raised as a weapon, but… I’ve never been needed in my full capacity.” You turn your dark eyes up to him. “What better reason to wake me up, than to serve as someone who could potentially defeat Erii Uesugi?”

“No…” Caesar’s voice was firm. “That won’t happen.”

You grip the yogurt cup tightly in your hands. “I think you should plan for it. If she’s really as strong and unstable as you say, to go against her I will need to do more than create an 8.0 earthquake. It will be like Godzilla vs. Godzilla. No matter who wins, all of Tokyo gets destroyed!”

"How can you compare yourself to Godzilla?” Caesar turned to you, putting on a winning smile. “I’ve never seen you that way, MC. When I look at you, all I see is a beautiful girl! Same with the Uesugi Clan Chief. I wouldn’t pit two beautiful girls against each other.” He pulled a cigarette from his pocket and lit it calmly.

Chu Zihang looked stone-faced.

You let go of your tight grip on the yogurt cup but it was completely crushed. You toss it away. Of course he wouldn’t pit you against each other. But the world was cruel and evil and might not give him a choice.

“By the way, there was something you wanted to tell me in the trunk of the car… what was it?” Caesar asked, exhaling smoke.

“Oh… right.” You take a breath. “When I was using my abilities to cause the quake, I was under Genji Heavy Industries, at the lowest point. And when I put my mind into the ground, something big was there. It was distant… but the fact I would sense it over that distance meant… it’s very big.”

Caesar’s lips closed over the cigarette. “Dragon?”

“From what I heard?” You say seriously. “More than one.”

------

The Kabuki theater you are invited to is over 100 years old and is considered the throne of Kabuki theaters. It has been burned down and rebuilt several times, and today, the building has a distinct Momoyama-era style, with a purple cloth hanging in front of the door.

Numerous national treasures of Kabuki actors have appeared here, and it is considered a great honor for newcomers to debut in this theater. This night a newcomer was on stage and, although the attendance was not expected to be high for newcomers, the tickets for tonight’s show were sold out early and a banner saying "Thank you" was hung in front of the ticket window. Those who came to buy tickets were young women, dressed in fashionable and hot clothes, not at all like the traditional older audience of Kabuki. This bright young throng crowded in front of the ticket window. The theater manager, who hadn't seen such an unprecedented turnout in more than a decade, was thrilled to the point that he thanked God that this ancient art had not been cut short and had managed to attract such a large young audience. The staff who knew what was going on said with a bitter smile that the manager misunderstood. They did not come for the traditional art, they just wanted to see the man who was amazing.

The newcomer on stage was named Ruri Kazama, and the play was "A New Telling of an Ancient Tale.”

The ticket you received was for a special royal box seat, separate from the seats of Chu Zihang and Caesar. Lu Mingfei couldn’t attend, obviously, so they graciously allowed Whale to come take his spot.

For you, this great and illustrious occasion was part of the MC Romance contest and you had star-heart tickets to give away to a suitor who pleased you best. But because tickets were sold out for the show, the only thing they could do was send you gifts and give you a complete makeover. When you entered the Takamagahara spa and beauty salon, the entire boutique staff of the Takamagahara was waiting for you, lined up in two neat rows on the left and right sides of the door. They all bowed simultaneously with a loud “Irasshaimase!”

The day outside was warm and bright and sunny. Perfect for a day out on the town, but the worst weather imaginable if you wanted to avoid the searching eyes of Kaguya. You would get a complete makeover that would hide your identity.

It started with full body skin treatments, shaving and hair removal, even massage. After that, you were whisked away in a fluffy robe for a manicure and pedicure where your nails were buffed and shined. Then your hair and scalp were treated to make it soft and aromatic. At this time, when you were sitting in the chair, your hair being pulled through a hot press, a Japanese woman in a pinstripe suit with long legs and sharp eyes walked into the room. You’d never seen her before but she seemed familiar with you.

She looked you up and down with a critical glare as all the workers stopped and let her inspect. “Well, things are coming along pretty well for our diamond in the rough. But my boss needs you to look like a queen and so long as you have that wide-eyed stare, you won’t fit the part.”

“Your boss?”

The long legged woman handed you an oblong carved sandalwood box that was tied with a red ribbon.

You pull the ribbon and remove the top. In the box was the deadpool's claw, buffed to a mirror like sheen. The raw knuckle bone was now inserted into a wooden hilt painted in vermillion and engraved with gold. It looked like a weapon one might find in a hidden tomb surrounded by other precious artifacts. A legendary weapon. The note said, “From Z.”

When you look at this woman again, she puts her finger to her lips. “There’s something I need you to understand. As the queen, the world only exists by your express permission. So from now on, I need you to simply ignore everyone around you. If you act like an ignorant girl, people will question you. Only pay attention or acknowledge anyone if it’s absolutely necessary.”

Knowing that this woman was acquainted with Z raised goosebumps on your skin. So rather than say yes ma’am, you turn away and stare into the mirror.

Your immediate obedience seemed to please the woman who said, “Good girl.” Before leaving.

You sit still while they paint your face with pale powder. Then they pile your hair up on your head. One of the women shows you an intricate golden comb the shape of a flying phoenix. A card came with it. “From Diamond,” it said. You nod mutely and they use it to secure your hair in front. The comb was from Diamond. Another shows you a bottle of floral scented perfume “from Armani”. You nod again.

At the end of the night, two men carried a large mirror to you and you caught a glimpse of yourself. The person reflected doesn’t look like you. You don’t see an orphan from Siberia but a delicate young woman. She smiled from the mirror. Her eyes were bright and sparkling in shy surprise and delight. Her eyebrows were dark and slender. Her ebony hair bloomed with flowers, gold and jade. Her clothes are fine linen and silk brocade, a Chinese Hanfu reminiscent of the Tang Dynasty that reached the floor and pooled underneath her in red and white. Her shoulders are draped with translucent gold colored silk shawls.

She didn’t look like you. But she was you.

Even though Caesar said you were beautiful over and over, this was the first time you ever felt that way about yourself. You find yourself swaying in the mirror, observing the way the silk shawls sparkled on your arm, a little giggle makes its way out. You feel a strange sense of thrilling excitement. Joy even.

You’d always thought of Renata as much prettier than you. Renata’s pale hair and her blue eyes were like the sun and the sea. But your dark eyes and your dark hair reminded you only of ravens. You cared for yourself like a potted plant, so you never thought of yourself as something to be admired, something dainty. You were a weapon. That was all you were good for. But now you admire the tendons of your neck, the curve of your collar bones, the taper of your wrists.

The sun sank in crimson and gold over the city of Tokyo. The light of the sky went out and the city lit up like a sea of stars. A sleek black limousine rolled up in front of the Takamagahara as it opened for the night, but you would not be there for the performers. Instead, the performers were lined up to see you out. The suitors in white suits while the rest of them wore their finest blacks.

They tilted in a stiff bow when you appeared. Per the instructions you received through the Japanese woman, you keep your eyes forward. In doing so, you feel a smile come to your face as you walk between them. Your heart swells and you straighten your back and lift your chin.

You step out into the humid night. Heads turn, but you’re accompanied by your suitors who walked you to your limousine on the left and right of you. Even if someone were going to try to get a picture of you, the view is blocked.

They only get a glimpse of royalty.

In the box right next to the stage, you sit in a velvet chair. There was one seat next to you but it was empty. You can look down directly onto the stage and the lower audience.

The curtain was low and the stage was dark, and the guests whispered quietly. They are all regulars at nightclubs, usually laughing and exchanging drinks, but tonight no one is making any noise. The audience is dressed in fine kimonos or foot-length evening dresses, ladylike and reserved. Although he is a male escort, Ruri Kazama's performance has been praised by several kabuki masters, who didn’t mind saying in the newspapers that they have gone out of their way to visit rowdy nightclubs to listen to this kabuki lover's performance. This is not a game, but a proper Kabuki performance, a masterpiece.

Caesar and Chu Zihang were sitting in a box on the second floor, so you couldn’t see them but they could see you clearly from across the theater.

"Ah… I guess this is my seat.” A familiar voice says. Chance walked down to the seat next to you. At your wide eyed surprise he said, “Were you expecting someone else?”

You were expecting Z to show up. But of course you couldn’t say that. “I thought none of you could get tickets.”

“I have an inside contact.” He winked and you notice that he has a pin on the lapel of his tux. It was the Chinese character "ghost". Your jaw drops and you stare up at him in concern. On the envelope containing your invitation, there was a small seal in the corner, consisting of a painted dragon and that same character. Caesar told you that meant that this performance was hosted by Ruri Kazama and that Ruri was a Ghost and belonged to the Devil Clan, the enemies of Hydra. Chance raises one finger to his lips. “I see you understand.”

“You’re the inside contact. You’re the one who told Ruri about me. About… all of us?”

He nodded once, winking.

You lean forward, smiling nervously. “Then you’re… like me? You’re with the Devil Clan?”

Chance smiled warmly at your bright enthusiasm, but sat back in his chair. He was still wearing his bright gold chains and hands were freshly painted with a new pattern in Henna. “Have you ever seen a performance like this before?”

You shake your head. He was clearly changing the subject to avoid talking about his unstable bloodline. The knowledge that he was a Ghost like you cast Chance in a new light. You had so many questions. You had more in common with him than you did with Chisei Gen.

"Just look at the translation screen above the stage. The lyrics will appear there for you to read so you understand the show.”

Z said that this Kabuki performance would answer many of the questions you’d had since waking up at Cassell and your pulse quickened. Finally, you would start to get a grasp on your new reality.

The lights suddenly went dark, and someone struck a snare drum. The drums sounded hoarse and low, like a ghost whispering in a distant ancient time. The curtain was pulled back and the plain white woman stood quietly in the center of the stage, draped with long, dark hair.

But it wasn’t a woman. It was Ruri Kazama.

"All happiness in this world is a fleeting blossom in the shadow of the moon.

Only loneliness and pain are always with us in the depths of Hell.”

He sang and slowly raised his head, his face as pale as paper, only the corners of his eyes were a harsh blood red.

His costume looks like a stark ghost in the depths of the underworld, but his body is graceful and feminine, just like a stunningly beautiful woman wrapped in a veil, making people's hearts flutter.

But the words he sang. In the first lyric, Ruri Kazama presented a stinging rebuttal to your response to him the day before, when you proudly told him you were not perishing. Chance turned to look at you. His hand moved over your hand and he gave it a gentle squeeze but that was scarce comfort. You were suddenly struck with a sense of doom, as though the voice of Ruri Kazama were a death knell.

#dragon raja

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egg-emperor · 4 years ago

Note

☼ - appearance headcanon

I've had this in my inbox for a while now because I feel like it was the most vague prompt on the list. It could mean so many different things and I don't know which to discuss!

But I'm going with describing how I imagine Eggman's appearance throughout his life, since there's no right or wrong way to answer. It's an opportunity to describe it because I still have yet to finish and share art depicting my ideas for what he looked like/will look like.

When Ivo was a kid, I imagine that many of his features closely resembled his classic design. He never looked drastically different from it.

His face has always been round and his cute chubby cheeks were especially visible before he had his stache. His nose was never all that different in shape, (Idk why people change that, it doesn't make sense) just slightly in color. It wasn't as pink because his rosacea and other contributions to its color became more intense with age.

He's always been chubby and it's a common body type for Robotnik family men. But there's always a reason and for Ivo it was various aspects of his lifestyle that resulted in his weight. As for his limbs, they've always had the unique contrast of being more attenuated than expected. It's a unique Robotnik family genetics thing.

A lot of fan designs of Eggman as a kid to young adult include him having wild hair styles but I don't picture it looking too extreme. Just fairly simple, short most of the time, naturally parted, and not specifically styled to look a certain way. It ever looked anything like jimbotnik's because I don't feel like the style suits him.

His hair had quite a soft and fluffy feel to it like his stache does now. It would fluff up easily and look a bit scruffy. He didn't pay much attention and would leave it that way because it wasn't something he prioritized. He never had pride or attachment to his hair like he does with his stache, so it was easy for him to rid of it as an adult.

He used to have eyebrows! Despite both him and Gerald lacking them, I imagine he had them at some point but ended up losing them. I've never decided exactly when or how but it could've been because of an accident. Either way, they were gone by the time he lost his hair. It's a good thing he has expressive brow ridges. XD

Despite his height of 6' 1" now, he was pretty short throughout his childhood, even in some of his teen years. He didn't like how some people wouldn't take him seriously and would look down on him but he wasn't too worried or insecure because it's common for men in the Robotnik family to be big and tall, so he knew he'd catch up.

He was right, he had a growth spurt that surprised everyone because it was so fast and sudden that it seemed like it happened overnight. He even ended up being taller than his father ever was! His height then matched his confidence and ego, he enjoyed finally being the one to tower over others and make them feel small. He still feels that same power and pride in it to this day! XD

His weight only ever increased with his growth so he's always been round and chunky, never skinny and lanky. But he finds himself handsome and only cares about being comfortable in his body. With it being common in the family, nobody tried to make him feel bad for it. Perhaps they might have had something to say about him becoming the heaviest, but that was after he left to start his own life and he never saw them again.

Somewhere in his 20s or maybe early 30s, he started getting early signs of male pattern baldness. It was another expected genetics thing so the only part that surprised him was how early it was. Unlike his father who was desperate to maintain his hair, Ivo didn't really care much about his own. His father spent years trying to keep his, while Ivo didn't even bother trying to save it and just shaved his entire head.

He might have tried a couple of wigs in case a bold head didn't suit him but he quickly realized how he found them too uncomfortable and itchy. He also realized that bald is beautiful and embraced it. He still has a number of wigs for disguises and they always looks convincing so he could have hair if he wanted to. But they still make him itch and he thinks he looks much better without them now.

He'd already started growing a mustache before losing his hair because he always thought they were cool. A lot of the males in the family did with his grandfather and father having one too. When he still had hair and a smaller stache, he looked very similar to his father and some confused them with each other. He's always been up to sly trickery so he used it to his advantage at times for useful benefits in his father's business.

But after he shaved his head and started growing out his stache so it could be as magnificently big and fluffy as it is now, he soon had a lot more in common with his grandfather's appearance than his father's. Even more so when he changed his round glasses with arms and clear glass to his shaded pince-nez ones. He welcomed this because he idolized his grandfather but disliked his father.

I don't try to find a logical explanation for the way he changed shape from spherical to more of an egg shape from classic and modern, or the way he seemingly got taller during adulthood lol. I just see it as a design and style choice that doesn't need a story based explanation. No characters notice or acknowledge the changes in their appearance, kind of like how nobody in 06 did.

That was a summary of the progress behind his appearance up to the present! I have ideas for extremely specific extra details for his present look and how it changes, such as small things with his eyes and skin. But I've decided I'll get into that in the second ask of this same prompt I got. So stay tuned! For now, I'm going to move on to how he'll look in the future because I have a few more things to say about it!

When he gets even older, he'll go through quite a few drastic changes but he'll still just look like a slightly altered version of his present self.

The most visible sign of age besides his graying stache is his weight because of how his current almost ends up doubling. It's mostly because he dropped his exercise routine when he started to let himself get comfortable in his old age. He couldn't accept it immediately due to the judgement he knew he'd get but he learned to expect reactions and not take it to heart. The teasing still gets to him at times but he deals with it.

He also does end up losing some of his height. I still haven't decided how many inches he loses but it will at least noticable enough for people to point it out. This is extremely disappointing to him and he'll heavily deny it because he really doesn't want to accept it. Luckily he'll still have a decent posture because he tries hard to maintain it, so that helps him keep a bit of height.

His most noticable wrinkles will be those that are around his eyes and also his brow area because of how often it furrows. It's definitely another point of teasing for people but he doesn't care about the wrinkles on his face because what is he supposed to do about it? He doesn't try to cover it up. He's secretly a bit insecure of wrinkles he has in other places but most people don't get to see that.

Because he'll still be so hardworking, he'll be visibly affected more noticably after lack of sleep. The circles/bags under his eyes will become even darker and will be seen on most days. He often looks tired and pissed off but rest assured, he isn't always feeling as miserable and exhausted as he might appear. But it will seem to stand out even more prominently when he has a rough day.

It impressively takes a while for his stache to fully gray, despite his age and constant stress. But it doesn't take as long as it seems because he keeps trying to hide and even dye it. The hair comes in as a very dark gray at first and he really won't be happy with it. It will take a while for him to accept and embrace it, mostly because it's a sign of his mortality that makes him feel like he's 'running out of time' because he's dramatic like that.

But by the time his entire stache grays, it will look like more of a snowy white color with some slightly darker patches here and there. The rest of his body hair will look the same way, so he goes from a brown bear to a bigger polar bear! 💜 And while he'll still have his worries about aging and mortality, this is the point where he'll learn to embrace the affects that age has on his appearance and he stills finds himself as handsome as ever. 💕

#dr eggman #eggman #dr robotnik #dr. eggman #headcanons #my post #asks #ask prompts

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toloveawarlord · 4 years ago

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Ch. 2

Characters: Elaine, Arthur x Theo, Vincent

Pairing: Elaine x Isaac (eventually)

Tagging: @plumpblueberry @lady-moonbroch

A/N: This chapter turned out nothing like the first draft XD Enjoy some Elaine spending time with her Uncle and she meets a boy!

Four days into her new job as Theo’s assistant, the mood in their home had drastically lifted. Elaine never complained and paid close attention to every task given to her, exceeding all expectations. She quoted things he’d said to her years ago and questioned smartly, craving the knowledge he had. Having her along had proved quite useful with prickly clients, smoothing over situations with a charming smile and sweet words, likely emulating Arthur.

Theo enjoyed having time with her. In recent years, they’d grown strained. The teenager wanted more freedom and broke rules in place to protect her because she believed them unnecessary. Now, at nearly eighteen in only two days, she’d fought harder. Being able to keep an eye on her put the art dealer at little more at ease.

His daughter sat across from him, glancing at him out of the corner of her vision. Elaine hadn’t taken the news that she couldn’t accompany him today well. Instead of anger, she’d pouted silently all morning.

“I take it that you aren’t happy with today’s agenda,” Arthur piped up with an amused grin not quite hidden by his cup of steaming coffee. The previous night Theo had informed him of the impending unhappy teenager.

Elaine stuffed the fork full of pancakes into her mouth, enough to make her cheeks puff out to match her frown. She’d gotten up extra early and made pancakes and extra sweet coffee, but the answer remained unchanged. Now, she wanted to drown her sorrows in syrup and butter until she got sick.

“Vincent has asked for you to help him today while I’m gone.” Theo could easily see the motive behind his brother’s sudden request. He’d promised to make her do some work instead of spoiling her the entire day.

The teenager flinched at those words. She couldn’t very well turn down her uncle, as she adored him so much. Help isn’t the word she’d choose to describe what the day would entail. He’d likely ask her to do a small task or two, nothing that required much effort. “Fine. I guess I can do that.”

Working didn’t bother her. She assisted around the house with the chores without complaint. If Comte asked, she would readily agree. It irritated her that this client wouldn’t allow her entrance to his home, prompting this sour mood. No promises of being quiet or staying outside had swayed Theo. He couldn’t risk spooking the man.

“If you find yourself in need of something to do, I can have you proofread for me.” Her grimace only made the mystery writer chuckle again. Her disdain for that job well-known. Though she enjoyed his stories, playing editor didn’t appeal to her. A tedious thing.

Theo cracked a grin, rising from the table. “You better thank Vincent for saving you from that.” One check of his watch ended the conversation. He bid his family farewell before heading into town alone.

“Are you sure you don’t want to help your Papa with his work?” Arthur teased further. He had been a tad jealous that she eagerly wanted to assist Theo over the course of the week. Ah, but he was also grateful that the two were more understanding of each other.

Elaine stacked all the empty plates to carry them to the kitchen. “I love you but no.” Her curt reply still amusing. Setting the dishes in the sink, she licked the sticky syrup off her fingers.

“Off you go then. I’ll take care of the cleanup.”

The young vampire didn’t need to be told twice. Housework didn’t appeal to her either. She did her part, pitching in when needed, but if told she didn’t have to do it... the teenager bailed as quickly as she could.

Inside the mansion, the hallways were quiet and empty. At this hour, everyone should be awake, except for Leonardo perhaps. Rapping her fist against Vincent’s door, she cast confused glances down the hallway.

“Goede morgen, Elaine,” Vincent greeted with a bright smile. He laughed softly at her confusion. Since Arthur and Theo had moved out of the mansion with her when she was only 4 years old, daily happenings didn’t reach their house as quickly as it spread through the mansion. “We’re the only ones here today.”

“I’m okay with that.” She flashed a disheartened smile, unable to shake the dark cloud hanging over her. Her normally mischievous and lively attitude disappeared. The others might have tried to make her understand. She understood perfectly fine.

That didn’t make it less saddening.

“Come here.” He’d barely open his arms and invited his niece to find comfort with him when the teenager stepped forward and accepted the warm hug. Vincent stroked his fingers through her copper hair. He wouldn’t say it out loud, but she reminded him so much of Theo when he was a child. “You know, he couldn’t stop talking about how wonderful you were on the job.”

“Really?”

It wasn’t that he hadn’t said so to her. Theo would give praise often, especially when she came up with new ideas. Telling the others about it, that was rarer.

Vincent hummed in response, a gentle smile on his lips as she peeked up at him. “I’d say he was outright bragging. I’m not surprised. You’re his daughter after all.” Placing a kiss on the top of her head, he laughed softly at her uplifted mood.

Elaine lingered a little longer before releasing him, soaking up his sunshine-like warmth. “I guess I could stop pouting about it.” Relenting her sad feelings, she sighed softly before questioning. “So, what was it you wanted my help with?”

“I finished the final painting and I thought I’d ask for your expert advice on where to put it in the gallery space. That is, if you want to.” His request was well-received with a glowing smile from his niece. Theo had mentioned that he’d given her the sole responsibility of choosing how to use the space to best showcase the art. The uncle looked forward to seeing what she’d done.

***********

The paintings on the wall were shrouded in black cloth, to hide the precious items from view until the day of the showing. Only a select few knew what was beneath, ones trusted by Theo to make this a success. Elaine had been gifted one of the only keys to venue, a testament to her importance.

“I believe I’m looking forward to this event more than any other,” Vincent commented, allowing the staff to hang the framed piece in its designated spot.

The heat in her cheeks caused the teenager to turn her gaze anywhere else. “It’s not much different from how Vader does it. I’ve been to more of these than any other event in the city.” The location changed but ever since she learned to walk, she’d been toddling around, observing, and learning how it works. Before she’d even realized, she’d begun understanding color theory and composition.

“It wasn’t too long ago that you were only a few years old and correcting patrons on the medium or style of the art. You always had this incredibly serious expression, much like Theo.”

“That was so long ago! I’m almost eighteen!”

Vincent chuckled with a loving smile. “Yes, I guess that’s right.”

The chime of the door timed perfectly with one of the staff calling to speak with Vincent. Elaine stepped away to investigate the newcomer. Violet eyes narrowed at the sight of a boy, likely no older than herself, attempting to take a peek at the portrait veiled by the black cloth. “Excuse me, but you can’t be in here.” Her tone less than polite, Elaine thrust her palms against his chest to push him away from the art piece.

“Oh, my apologies. I’ve been most curious about why there are staff entering but it’s never been open for business.” His emerald eyes filled with hidden intent that didn’t quite match the half smirk on his lips. The boy never resisted her pushing him back to the door and onto the street. “A secretive operation, I presume, miss?”

“Elaine and we don’t open for another two days.”

Her biggest fear was that he was a spy for le academia and all of her father’s hard work would go to waste if they were discovered. He didn’t fit the typical appearance of a high bred family, usually scrawny and uptight, and he wasn’t either of those things.

“I’ll have to pop in when you are open. My name is Leon Autry.” He flashed another brilliantly smug smile and winked. “Might I inquire your surname, should I have any future questions?” The reason lost on the recipient. He’d yet to ask anything relevant to the gallery.

Elaine turned on her heel to return inside. “It’s Doyle.” Even though she didn’t quite like the boy, she couldn’t risk turning away a potential buyer. Her cheeks were warm, and it wasn’t clear if it was from embarrassment or anger. The young pureblood didn’t have many friends her age, and that led to a bit of awkwardness when around humans her age.

“Ah, like the writer.”

The girl stilled, hand hovering above the door handle. Perhaps she’d heard him incorrectly.

“You might not know of him. He’s a British writer, mystery, I think.”

Or perhaps not.

“I believe it’s Arthur Conan Doyle. Any relation?” Leon asked as if he already knew the answer, like playing a game of truth or dare in order reveal a secret for confirmation.

Elaine relaxed her shoulders. Although she could hardly admit that she was indeed was the daughter of that very Arthur, albeit the vampire one, she wouldn’t allow him to glean that precious information from her. “No, but you aren’t the first to ask. But wouldn’t that be grand? Imagine being related to someone as talented as that.” Her dreamy smile fowled his for a moment.

“Imagine.” The façade of his grin had ghosted away for a split second, but it didn’t go unnoticed.

“Elaine, are you ready to head back?” A third party interrupted, much welcomed by the girl. Vincent approached the two, protectively a half step in front of his niece. The tension between the two children enough to worry him.

Her head bobbed once in response. “Yes, let’s go home.” The way Leon’s eyes followed her unsettled the girl. Elaine settled back on the seat in the carriage, mulling over the strange interaction. Was it so unusual for someone to draw a connection between her name and the human Arthur from this era?

Whatever the case, she now had a proper mystery on her hands.

#ikemen vampire #ikevamp #ikevamp arthur #ikevamp theo #ikevamp vincent #ikemen vampire fanfiction #arthur and theo have a child #elaine odette doyle #truth in simplicity #isaac is coming soon i promise

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fanfictionaries · 4 years ago

Text

Where the Green Grass Grows - Part 1. A Real Fine Place to Start

@imanuglywombat credit for the moodboard/art!

Summary: After leaving town in 2001, Marianne Grace Barnes swore she’d never step foot in Texas again. She was happy with her life in San Francisco. She had great friends, a great job, and a loving boyfriend. But when her mother insists she come home after six long years away, Marianne comes face to face with someone she vowed to never lay eyes on again. Now the questions arise: Is he so different from the man who broke her heart? Is she so different from the girl she used to be?

And most importantly, is she as happy as she really thinks she is?

A story of love, heartache, and that special feeling of being home.

MASTERLIST

Pairing: AU Cowboy!Steve Rogers x OFC

Warnings: Swearing

Author’s note: This is my entry for @arrowsandmixtapes ‘s RomCom Writing Challenge! So sorry for the late entry, Covid has been a whirlwind of a time.

Prompt: Sweet Home Alabama (2002)

***

The streets of San Francisco were their normal, misty grey as Marianne Barnes rushed down the sidewalk. Scrubbing at the technicolor specks of paint that covered her arms, she wondered why that day of all days she had decided to introduce the splatter paint portion of her student’s curriculum. The current semester was focused on abstract and modern art. Slowly she’d been introducing them to all of the history and techniques behind the different styles before allowing them to try it out for themselves. While initially it seemed like a fantastic idea, she soon realized that allowing a group of middle schoolers the freedom to literally throw paint was a recipe for disaster. Luckily, she had her art smock to cover the entirety of her clothes, but that had not saved her arms and legs from the ricochet of paint as the over enthusiastic kids hurled globs of color as hard as they could at blank canvases. Continuing to rake her nails against the skin of her arms, she sighed in frustration. She really should have taken a few more minutes to wash up one more time.

It was important that she look nice tonight. Tony, her boyfriend, had invited her to dinner stating he had some “big news”. Marianne assumed that it probably had to do with the big business deal he’d been working on for his company. Tony was a visionary of sorts. Having come from family money, his future was always to be well off. However, he had taken the extra steps to truly make something of himself and slowly over the years of his career he had come to own the single leading company in clean energy technology. She was proud of him – even if his job did take up a large amount of his life. However, without his job she probably wouldn’t have met him. She thought back to the embarrassing moment in which they had met nearly a year ago.

Marianne pulled at the neckline of her dress, the Peter Pan collar currently feeling as though it was going to choke her as she shifted uncomfortably by the food and drink table. As much as she liked being there for her best friend, she really wished Natasha would stop inviting her to these kinds of events. While Nat insisted that she’d stay right by Marianne’s side, she always ended up alone at some point in the night, twiddling her thumbs in a room filled with strangers. Having met in art school, Marianne always found it incredibly interesting how drastically different her and Natasha’s careers were. While Marianne had opted for teaching the youths of America about Monet, Dali, van Gogh, and Matisse, Natasha had settled on the curation of art, a field that suited her much more appropriately. The rubbing of elbows with the hoity toity rich was a perfect fit for Nat’s easy, sophisticated, and, for lack of a better word, sexy personality. With her naturally fire-red hair, knockout curves, and perfect smile, Natasha was the type of woman that when she walked into a room, every person either wanted to be her or to fuck her. There was no in-between. Even for Marianne, who supposed in some ways, she’d like to be a bit more like Natasha.

That’s why she was so surprised to be approached as she clung to her glass of champagne and pretended to stare contemplatively at the same painting of a flat tire for the fifth time that night.

“What do you think?” asked a smooth and timbred voice from beside her.

Marianne chuckled slightly to herself continued to trace the thick brushstrokes of the painting with her eyes. “Well, considering the artist’s theme of stagnation, I think they’ve gone a bit too on the nose with this one. It’s…unimaginative,” she commented, before turning to see the handsome man beside her. If she’d actually been drinking the champagne in her hand, she might have choked on it. Luckily for her, she hadn’t.

The man continued to stare at the painting in front of them, a contemplative expression that brought his thick, dark brows together, before he turned his gaze to her, “So you don’t think it will sell tonight then?”

“Oh no, it will definitely sell. I’ve been to enough of these things to know that it’s not really about taste, so much as it is status. If the artist seems important enough, then so is their art,” smirked Marianne, this time actually taking a sip from her champagne flute to avoid focusing on the intriguing way in which the stranger was staring at her.

“Ah, yes. The snobbish elites’ inability to see past their own social status,” he commented dryly, taking a sip from his own flute.

“Hey, you said it, not me,” Marianne laughed, feeling as though she might have made a connection with a reasonable person just yet.

“And who do I have the pleasure of giving me all the inside critique?”

She extended her free hand out to the man, “Marianne Barnes—art teacher, friend of the curator, and overall critic of the snobbish elite.”

He took her hand in his own, his grasp soft, yet strong as he shook her hand and stared her directly in the eye, “Tony Stark – member of the snobbish elite.”

Marianne blanched at the words, the overwhelming feeling of embarrassment taking over her as she realized her mistake. She was just beginning to open her mouth to apologize when Tony held up a hand.

“No need to apologize—” he inhaled deeply, looking around the room and the people that inhabited it “—Truth be told, I don’t think I can stand a single person in here. You excluded of course, but who knows that may change.”

Marianne wrestled with the smile that fought to match Tony’s own wry grin. He was too charming for his own good. Taking a second to look over his expensive suit, Italian leather shoes, and $200 haircut, she reckoned he was much too handsome and successful for her own good. Still, she figured there was no harm in a little conversation.

“Say, I like your accent. Where’s that from? Georgia? Alabama?” asked Tony, stepping in to close the distance between them and making the interaction feel so much more intimate than it should.

Marianne gasped in mock offense, “Excuse you sir, but I am Texas born through and through.”

“My apologies ma’am,” Tony said, holding a hand to his heart in sincerity. “It’s never my intention to offend beautiful women. But for some reason, it just, well, happens.”

That comment made Marianne pause, “You think I’m beautiful?”

He took a moment to assess her, raking his eyes over her from head to toe. Not in a predatory way, but more like he was assessing another painting on the wall. Then he answered, voice heavy in sincerity, “Most beautiful piece of art I’ve seen tonight.”

The sharp tone of Marianne’s ringtone brought her out of her musing and back to the present as she waited at a crosswalk for the light to change. Digging into the deep contents of her purse, she cursed under her breath, pushing aside pens, pencils, scrunchies, lotions, and general clutter before her fingers closed around the buzzing device.

“Hello?”

“I just really don’t understand why Serena and Nate just don’t get together! I mean, he basically broke up with Blair for her, the least she could do is date him,” groaned Natasha from the other end, before Marianne heard the distinct crunch of popcorn being chewed.

“Hey! Spoilers, I haven’t watched last night’s episode yet! Besides, I really don’t have time to talk about Gossip Girl right now,” she huffed, glancing at the time on her watch and realizing she was even later than she thought.

“Well hurry up and watch it! I want to talk about what Chuck did. You’ll never believe it—”

“Seriously Nat, no spoilers!” Marianne exclaimed, now picking up her speed as she crossed the street, trying not to catch the heel of her stilettos on the cracks in the pavement. “And I meant it, I’m running late for my dinner with Tony. He’s taking me to my favorite restaurant to celebrate the contract with Pym Technologies.”

“Wow. I never would have expected Tony to slum it all the way to the Mission District,” Natasha snorted.

“What? No, I’m in SoMa right now. We’re going to Omakase,” Marianne said, jumping back when a bicyclist zoomed past her, nearly knocking her into a dirty puddle.

“Oh…”

“What?”

“Nothing, it’s just that I have a distinct memory of you saying you’d rather lick an L.A. sidewalk than eat raw fish, but I have seen you scarf down more burritos from Taqueria Cancun than I can count.”

Marianne bristled at the comment; she always did this. “My tastes are allowed to change Nat,” she bit back, seeing the sign for the sushi restaurant her and Tony frequented in sight.

Natasha was quiet for a moment on the other end of the line before she responded, “Yea, yea, you’re right. I’m sorry. Well, have fun at dinner and tell Tony I say congratulation.”

Sighing, Marianne immediately felt guilty for the harsh way in which she spoke, “Thanks Nat, I’ll tell him. And don’t worry, I’ve got the episode queued up first on Tony’s TiVo. I’ll watch it tonight and then I’ll call you tomorrow and we can gab all about why Serena needs to pull her head out.”

The comment earned Marianne a small laugh from Natasha, alleviating some of her guilt, “I’m holding you to that. Talk to you later hun, love you.”

“Love you too.”

Marianne closed her phone just as she was approaching the front doors to Omakase. Throwing her phone back into her purse she pushed the glass door open, knowing that Tony was probably already waiting for her at their favorite table. The first thing she noticed upon entering the restaurant was the distinct lack of the normal bustling sounds of other people, the second thing was the presence of orchestral music, and the third were roses. Hundreds and hundreds of red roses. Stacked on every available surface, the flowers littered the restaurant in large arrangements placed in beautiful crystal vases.

Silently, her heeled feet padded across the rose petal covered floor as she tentatively stepped further into the building, wondering for a just a second if she was in the right place. However, as she rounded the corner to see Tony dressed impeccably, string quartet situation behind him as he stood next to the only table in the dining room, she knew this was exactly where she was supposed to be.

“Tony…” she approached him cautiously, unable to stop from looking around the room and all its grandeur.

“There she is. For a second, I thought you found something better to do,” joked Tony, closing the distance between them and kissing her lightly on the lips.

“Sorry, I got out of class a bit late and then Nat called. What’s going on?” Marianne asked, still unsure what the big romantic gesture was for.

“What? A man can’t treat his girlfriend to a romantic night?”

“Well yes, but I thought we were celebrating your deal.”

“Well, I mean that’s part of it, but we’ll get to that later. Here, why don’t you set your things down? I have something I want to ask you.” Tony slipped Marianne’s purse from her shoulder and placed it gently down onto her chair before turning to her and taking both of her hands in his. “So, a little precursor, I closed the deal with Pym Technologies.”

“Oh my god, Tony that’s amazing! I knew you were going to get it,” Marianne exclaimed, smiling widely at her boyfriend. She moved in to give him a congratulatory hug, but Tony stopped her, holding her away from him at arm’s length.

“Oh, hold on, let’s not celebrate too soon. At least let me finish my little speech and then we can jump up and down like teenage girls,” responded Tony. His tone, while its usual joking manner, held a tense and clipped edge to it that Marianne didn’t hear often. Nervously she shifted her weight, wondering what he could possibly have to ask her. Then slowly things started to click into place. Secluded restaurant. Red roses. String quartet. Tony’s favorite red wine on the table. Big important question. Oh.

“Well, once this deal goes through, I’m going to be spending a lot of time traveling internationally. Things are going to pick up at Stark Industries and I realized that life is about to get a lot more hectic and messier. Then of course, this brought on a whirlwind of existential questions about life and its meaning and purpose and what I really want out of it and…and I’m rambling aren’t I?”

“Yea, just a bit,” Marianne answered with a small smile.

“I had a point—”

“Did you?”

“I did—” Tony released his hold on her hands to dig into the pocket of his suit pants “—and I think it sounded a bit like this.” Marianne gasped lightly as Tony dropped to one knee. “Basically, to make a long, drawn-out story short, I realized that no matter how messy and crazy the future scenarios of my life, one thing remained a constant. You. You by my side as my wife. So…” Producing a small, black box from within his hands, he opened it slowly to reveal a large, sparkling engagement ring. “Would you do me the honor of marrying me?”

Marianne stood speechless for a moment, consumed by the surprise turn of events. For a second the musing thought that she would have definitely forgone splatter paint today if she had known she was getting proposed to, flashed through her mind before she nodded enthusiastically.

“Yes, yes I will marry you.”

That’s how one month later Marianne found herself entering Natasha’s apartment, arms completely stuffed with nothing but wedding magazines, samples, and binders. Dropping her things into a large pile on the carpet of Natasha’s living room floor, Marianne breathed in deep before turning her attention to an open portfolio on the coffee table. The bright splashes of reds and blues of oversized poppies amidst a large, open sky caught her attention, drawing her in.

“Hey Nat, are you looking to take in a new collection at the gallery?” she called towards the kitchen, unable to pull her eyes away from the beautiful and almost impressionistic take on the flowers.

“Yea, one of my boss’s associates is crazy about these giant oil paintings of poppies. He wants us to consider doing a whole show of them. We’re equally as enthusiastic, but I guess the artist is hesitant about selling their work,” answered Natasha from across the apartment.

“Don’t most artists want to sell their art?”

“You’d think, but judging from the California poppies, they’re probably some west coast artist that doesn’t want to ‘sell out’ and ruin the integrity of their work.” Marianne could almost hear Natasha rolling her eyes through the walls.

Staring even harder at the small collection of paintings as she flipped through the portfolio, Marianne asked, “Are you sure they’re California poppies?”

Just as she asked the question, Natasha came around the corner, two large glasses of prosecco in hand. “Of course. We’re in California. They’re poppies. California poppies,” Natasha shrugged, placing the glasses on the coffee table.

“Yea, I guess you’re right,” Marianne said, sharply closing the portfolio and shaking off the strange sense of melancholy that the paintings evoked.

“Jesus, when you said you wanted to come over and talk about wedding stuff while we watched Gossip Girl, I thought you meant something like looking at a couple of magazines, not planning the whole thing in one night!” Natasha said, eyes growing wide as she took in the sheer amount of materials Marianne had arrived with.

“Yea, well that’s pretty much all the time I actually have to plan this thing. Tony wants to get married soon so that we can go on our honeymoon before he has to start traveling for work. Once things pick up, we’re not really sure when he’ll get another free moment,” sighed Marianne, sitting down on the floor and beginning to organize her mess.

“I’m surprised he’s letting you plan this and it’s not him making all the decisions,” remarked Natasha, sitting down across from her, and picking up a magazine.

“What do you mean?” asked Marianne, looking up quizzically at her best friend.

“Well…” began Natasha, hesitating for a moment before continuing, “I just mean that Tony tends to have a habit of making decisions for you.”

“What? No, he doesn’t,” Marianne scoffed.

“Uhuh…okay. Well then, who decided shortly after meeting you that your car, your first car, your baby, wasn’t good enough and that you needed a new one?” Natasha asked challengingly.

“It was old Natasha. People get new cars every day. Tony was just kind enough to buy me a new one,” Marianne reasoned with her, picking up her glass of prosecco from the coffee table.

“Okay, what about your job? You were working at that cute little public, elementary school that you always said you loved so much. Next thing I know, you’ve got this new job at a private middle school.”

“Tony had some connections and there’s nothing wrong with moving up in your career. I’m pretty sure that’s the whole point of a career, Nat.”

“Your apartment then? A week after he saw your apartment for the first time, he insisted that you move in with him.”

“That apartment was a rat-infested shit-hole and you know it. Things were going well, and he had the space. I took a leap of faith and moved in with him. I think it went alright considering the fact that I’m marrying the man. Just- what are you getting at Nat?”

“I guess I’m just worried that these major life decisions aren’t what you want, but instead what Tony wants. I mean, you’ve been together barely a year and already you’re more like him than you are you. You dress posher, you act posher, your accent’s fading…I want you to be happy Marianne, but I don’t want you to lose yourself along the way,” Natasha ended her small rant by taking a large gulp of her drink.

Marianne placed a hand on her friends arm reassuringly, “Hey. It’s alright. I’m happy, I promise. And it’s still me! I’m still the same Marianne Barnes you met in art school – just a little fancier is all.” She laid her southern accent on thick near the end of her sentence, lifting up her left hand to waggle the large engagement ring in her friend’s face. Natasha laughed, knocking her hand out of the way, and rolling her eyes at Marianne’s blatant bragging.

“Shut up, now let’s work on your guest list and invitations first while we let the drama of Manhattan’s Upper East Side consume us,” said Natasha, exchanging the magazine for a binder as she turned her TV on with the press of a button.

Taglist:

@hidden-behind-the-fourth-wall

@caffiend-queen

@grincheveryday

#RomComWC #RCWC #steve x ofc #au!steve #cowboy!steve #steve rogers #sweet home alabama #romantic comedy #fanfiction #fanfic #tony stark x ofc #enemies to lovers

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palettepainter · 5 years ago

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(IMPORTANT UPDATES) Look back at 2019

Big changes for 2020! Hey there everyone! 2019 has come and gone, another year passed and a new chance for me to try and improve myself when the new year starts! As far as I know me and my family don’t have plans to celebrate New Years other then of course spending time together, but I want to post this now just so that it’s out of the way it’s posted and I won’t have to worry about. If I can be honest, 2019 towards the last few months of the year has been a real punch in the face..multiple punches. I’ve broken off connections with people who treated me wrongly in the past, had random breakdowns at school (don’t worry they weren’t seriously bad), had trouble with siblings - it’s been overall, a very up and down year for me, but sadly towards the end and in the running up to Christmas, it was mostly down. But hey, 2020 means the start of a new year and a new chance to grow stronger as a person and an artist!..Seriously though 2020, please be kind to me- As you can probably from what’s in the title, there are going to be a few big changes to my characters and stories going into 2020. I’ve been thinking about this stuff a lot ever since mid August, it’s been something I’ve mentioned to one or two people, but ultimately I had to make the choice. And now with 2019 gone and done and 2020 being the opportunity to start fresh, I think it’s a good time to make these announcements. I understand that this may upset a few of you and yes it is going to make things a bit confusing for my NGAU, but this is my choice and I’m confident that making this choice will lead to me being much more happier with what I make. 🔸I will not be continuing my Zoophobia: Next Generation book series To anyone new who doesn’t know what I mean, Zoophobia: Next Generation was a book series I started back in December 2018, which included my own NG’s and one or two OC’s from the fandoms Zoophobia and Hazbin Hotel. Since the first book the series has since gained a lot of attention on Wattpad, and believe me when I say that I am truly grateful for how much positive attention the series got! It was my first time ever writing something on my own and it felt really special to know so many of you liked what I was doing! But as the series went on, I slowly began to loose my drive to continue writing. This is something I’ve admitted to close friends, but now that I’m older and I’m more aware of errors in writing and certain ways in which writing can be written to be better, I realise that the series isn’t up to my current standards. The story itself isn’t one that I’m proud of, and as my first book series, I feel like I was biting off more then I could chew when I first started writing this series. Ive realised that the story line I had in mind would be too hard to work into both Zoophobia and Hazbin Hotel without me having to make very big changes to either of those fandoms current stories and/or certain characters personalities, and though yes it is my own AU so if I wanted I could change the characters to fit better with my story, but honestly, I don’t want to change the characters. The characters from Zoophobia and HH I absolutely adore and there isn’t much I want changed about them, so I don’t want to alter the characters drastically to the point where they become an entirely different character. The main drive of the story with the main characters didn’t pick up till around the second book, and when I first started writing, the story line wasn’t even finished, I was just going with the flow and linking one thing to the other, hoping people would like it just as much as I did at the time. And lastly, this is probably the biggest reason why I’m no longer going to be continuing the series, but the first couple of chapters of the first book where too heavily inspired by another book series: I don’t want to continue to create something, when I feel as if it’s been too heavily based around someone else’s work. I want to create my own stuff and I feel as though the first book just isn’t that, it’s not my own work, and that’s leaded to me viewing the first book as my least favourite. This means that from now going forward, any events that took place in the book series is now no longer cannon. Some headcannons will be changed and altered due to this, for one Eve’s Headcannon will be changing as she will now most likely be alive in my NGAU now, so the stories I had planned for her such and the stories I already posted are no longer cannon either: I will say also that this also counts for my Eve X Hatchet NG Diego, he will remain cannon and will most likely be alive also. As for the characters that where involved in the books such as Lucy, Maggot and Bumbuss, I’ll figure out what to do with them. I defiantly want to keep Lucy as she was the very first OC I ever made for the Zoophobia fandom that wasn’t a NG, but I’m unsure on what to do with Maggot and Bumbuss. As much as I now don’t enjoy the series, it was fun to write while it lasted, and I cannot stress enough how grateful I am too everyone who ever read, liked, or commented on the series! But from now on, I won’t be returning to the series. I held off on announcing this and the reason it took me so long to decide this was because I didn’t want to leave you guys without a conclusion to the story, the series was only one book away from completion and I didn’t want to cut off the series so close to it being finished. But again, the book series isn’t something I enjoy anymore, so I hope all of you can understand and will hopefully look forward to the further projects I have planned 🔸New books to come Though my main book series will now be ending, I have a lot of ideas for new book series. Since the second and third book I had been having ideas for stories that could take place after the series, and the reason I kept doing the series for as long as I did was because I really wanted to start work on the stories that would take place after the series was finished. One of my goals for the new year is to try and push out more stories and book series for you guys, I feel like I’ve defiantly been lacking in the story department, mostly because I couldn’t find any ideas for illustrations to go with the story, and because I always felt too tired to ever finish any stories or illustrations. None of these story ideas yet have fully scripted out story lines, so far they’re just ideas and until I can get a script done for them, I won’t be starting work on them. I want these books to be as great and they can be, and not only do I want to make something that I can be proud of, but something that you guys will enjoy as much as I do. These ideas are in no particular order, and I haven’t decided if I’ll defiantly be doing all of these just yet, but here are some ideas I’ve had for books/book series for the future: -A book with my NG Box explaining her past before she came to live with Ribbon -A book with my OC Willem and how he discovers another hybrid like himself -Nidra’s story as she grows up to accept a new family, while letting a beloved friend go to persue their own life -Junior reapers: a story/series of stories involving Lotus, Charcoal, Parfait and Rae as they go on a quest to become junior reapers Maybe a MHA + Dragonous story *Dragonous is a Villainous dragon AU created by shabiest (Instagram), I will need to get permission from them if I want to write a book with this AU* Recently I got into My Hero Academia, and you can all blame that on my cousin When I first saw the series I kinda rolled my eyes at it, I’ve never really been a big anime fan the style never grabbed me when I was younger: and all I can say is that I should defiantly have given the series a try sooner MHA is a series I’ve come too really enjoy and love, I love the characters the story the dialogue, everything about this show! I’ve said this before but what I love about the show is how it’s great at showing us a large range of characters without straying too far from the main plot, and how this show makes me feel: there have been times where this show has had me emotionally frustrated, sad and happy, and if a show or a movie can make me feel a powerful emotion (angry sad or other), then I’m down for it. I’ve since made a few OC’s for the fandom, and I’ve been thinking about making a book about it. It’s not scripted out yet, and some of my ideas play into some events in season 4 - but if you guys enjoy MHA and you enjoy my OC’s, please let me know your thoughts! And Dragonous, a Villanious AU I’ve come to adore! I’ve always been a big fan of dragons, they where my favourite mythical creature growing up! (And still are to this day), with the creators permission I’d like to create a book with the few OC’s I’ve made, this one may not happen because again I need permission, but tell me your thoughts! Merch Again, something I’ve mentioned before, and something I’ve been really wanting to do! Me and my dad have made a shirt design with one of my OC’s, so far it’s only black and white (we’ve decided to go simple black and white since it’s my first time making merch), and hopefully if all goes well we can start to make more colourful merch However this all depends on you guys: I may be opening up commissions in the future, though I can’t say when, but this will depend on you: I have a PayPal and a KoFi if you guys wish to support me and my work (no pressure though!), every little bit counts and it would mean so much to me if you guys would consider supporting me and my work, even if it’s something as small as a pound! 🔸Collabs/art trades/design trades/RP’s There’s nothing really big to say about these things, but I have decided that from now on that I will only do these kinds of things with close friends.

Finally, I want to say a big BIG thank you to everyone who has stuck around on this crazy train ride to support me. This year as I said at the beginning, has not been the best for me towards the end, and I am so grateful to all the support you guys gave me. I know that I'm not very good with replying to comments/messages, and I'm so sorry if I never got round to replying to your message or comment, but I do read the comments, I do see the wonderful things you guys say, and it's absolutely delightful to see the nice things you guys say! I want to give a big big BIG thank you to these wonderful people who have been there for me, whether it was to geek out over a show to if they where there for me when I needed support: @hazbinextgeneration - You've been an amazing pal right from the beginning, you where one of the very first people I met when I first got into the Zoophobia and HH fandom and you've been an absolute gem! You've been there for me when I was down and you've listened through out all of my nerd outs about characters and shows, and to have someone listen to me meant so much! You comment on nearly every piece of my work and you're always so kind and giving! Not only to me but to so many others! You've made me a lot and fanart and I'm sorry I don't nearly do enough for you in return, going into 2020, I want to change that! @cosmic-artzz - If you hadn't been there to listen to me and help me out, I honestly don't know what kind of situation I would be in now. You helped me cut off ties with people I honestly wasn't happy talking with, and despite being dragged into my drama over and over again, you where still there to listen to both sides of the argument and give advice on how I could make things better. You've always been a delight to talk to and I'm so happy we had the chance to become friends! I'm so sorry you get dragged into my troubles as much as you did dude! Going into 2020, I promise you I'll be more confident in putting my foot down when I feel as though I'm not being treated fairly! And lastly, I want to thank all of you! For sticking with me on this crazy journey! Here's to 2020 and hoping its a wonderful year!!

#Goodbye 2019!#Ready for 2020

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simpsonssitcom · 5 years ago

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Character Design (Pt. 1)

The Main Family

I want to preface this by saying I already wrote a post about the designs in this AU, but it was vague, uncertain, and most importantly, deleted by a tumblr glitch after a couple of days. This is an updated version of that. I also won’t put at many pictures; I’ll try to just name episodes and/or condense photos into a collage for a single character.

Anyways, this post is about changes to the design of the main family. Anything not addressed will remain the same. These will also only cover standard, present, everyday designs. Special clothes and flashback designs will be addressed as they come up.

Marge

Marge’s physical changes might be the least drastic. Her hair, still blue, will be one “head” smaller. By this I am referring to her pages in “The Simpsons Handbook: Secret Tips From The Pros.” Marge’s hair is broken into three sections: around her head, one head size above, and another head size above. Let’s level that down to only one “head” above. She’s not hiding rabbit ears anymore, we can do this. As for her outfit, I had a little trouble in deliberation, but I’ve decided on it mostly being the same, except her green dress has a sleeveless turtleneck on top like her orange peplum dress. This is mainly due to her job as a cashier now; her apron would look weird over a tube dress and I wanted her to have the same outfit at work (like how Homer wears a tie over his normal shirt at work). She has two bracelets like her early design (from her sisters) and still has her necklace. I considered maybe adding the flowers from her early design to her dress. After all, she has an art streak not just in painting but in sewing (think of her cute modifications to her pink Chanel outfit) and adding her own pattern onto the dress to “spice things up a bit” would be such a Marge thing. Still, I didn’t want to made her design too busy, and I also didn’t think flowers were super Marge. She’s more into classic looks and solid colors, I think.

Homer

Anyways, Homer’s shirt is pink now! I outlined a ton of reasons for my Homer outfit decision in the original post, but I’ll make it brief. It’s mostly that pink was a strong color in the early stages of the show, that Homer isn’t as aggressive in this AU, and that we know pink with blue (his jeans) is a good color combo on him from his outfit in Stark Raving Dad, his prom outfit, and his suit at Lisa’s wedding. Speaking of Lisa’s Wedding, his bodily appearance will closer resembling that of that episode. It’s only a five year timeskip so he won’t be too different (no eye wrinkles for example), but he’ll be more top heavy, his shoulders and neck getting larger to even out his pear shaped beer belly we have now. His hair will be deteriorating too, instead of a zig-zag on the sides, it’s just individual strands.

Maggie

The children will change the most, as obviously they are growing up. They’ll get taller and their hair will change too to better distinguish them. Maggie’s got fairly consistent hair in her future appearances: longer and parted with three spikes in front and 4-5 in back, depending on the episode. Her hair isn’t that long yet at 5, but it’s certainly parted already. Her face, to help distinguish her from Lisa, has a mouth more like (younger) Homer’s, with the curved upper lip.

So, I have something I’ve added as part of Maggie’s character which I’m only mentioning on this post because it helps inform her design. I am autistic and, although I know there’s a running gag in future episodes that she’s apparently talks a lot, here Maggie is nonverbal autistic. Anyways, I’m bringing this up because of my #1 favorite in-show future Maggie design choice: her pacifier necklace. You wanna know why? Stim jewelry. Now, Maggie has a necklace like Lisa or Marge, but hers only has one bead, and she sucks or chews on it sometimes to stim. Next, what do to about the onesie? I’d like to keep it something comfortable, maybe very loose, because that gag of Maggie constantly dripping over her own clothes can be kinda funny (so long as it doesn’t seriously hurt her, I never liked that trend of just tagging on characters for no reason) A blue sweater (looking like the top half of her onesie) and some bootcut jeans that are too long for her legs is essentially what I wore at that age, why can’t she do the same? All that matters is that she’s comfy.

Lisa

Okay, we gotta talk about Lisa’s dress. A middle school girl in a strapless dress? Has the world gone mad? Yes it has, but in the American public school system, that’s not gonna fly. So what do we do, put straps on her dress or give her a whole new outfit? After a lot of consideration, I decided on a skirt the same color as her dress (blood orange, or is it “fucking red”?) with the spiky bottom too, with a lavender polo. Why lavender? Well, Bart’s imagination in “O, Brother, Where Bart Thou?” gives us a good look at that color combo (complete with white neck accessory) on someone with the almost exact same features as Lisa. We also see Lisa’s dress with straps, which looks okay for adult Lisa, but there’s too much cleavage for what I’d consider putting on a thirteen year old.

In addition to getting taller, like all of the Simpsons children, Lisa’s hair is changing, but it’s nothing we haven’t seen before. In a all her future appearances (much like Maggie, likely to help differentiate since they’re almost identical when grown), her hair is always styled one way: pushed back and down. But specifically I’m going to draw her hair design from, you guessed it, Lisa’s Wedding! What can I say, it’s just a good episode for character design... mostly. But I love the way her hair starts to curl in that episode. If we take the curl as coming from Marge, it’d make sense if she grew to look more like her parents.

Bart

Alright, Bartman! Bartholomew is probably getting the most change, hence why I put him last. After all, he’s changed a lot in the show too (the color of his shirt from blue to... again, is it orange or red?) and his future appearances arguably vary the most. His hair is interesting, because although the design I’ve settled on for it matched fairly close to his 15-year-old self in Barthood, it’s actually based off of the music video for Deep Deep Trouble. He got his head shaved as punishment, and since I saw it I HCed that this happens whenever Bart gets in big trouble, so his hair is constantly a buzzcut because it’s always just growing out. As he matures a bit and doesn’t get caught as often, he can grow his hair out more. As for height... although most of his aged up appearances have him keep that pear shape to look like Homer, I figure since he has a bit more of an active lifestyle, he would shed some baby fat. I particularly liked his lanky look in that one “2006-2013 Family Portrait” couch gag, where he just kinda... stretches. It makes him look like he took after Marge some, which I like.

Clothes are fun. Bart has always been a rebel, and a very creative kid, and I wouldn’t be surprised if he started expressing himself in his clothes more. His lucky red cap and his earring from Simpson tide would almost certainly appear more, but in terms of his clothes, a simple orange shirt won’t cut it anymore. The bright orange might be too close to homer’s salmon pink or Lisa’s warm red, I’m altering the shade to be more brick. The shirt itself will be a floral button up (the pattern being his classic orange and OG blue as an homage) inspired by his clothes in Homer’s Phobia, Bart to The Future (where he also has an earring), and this post by @springfieldblues, which I love.

That’s it for part one! Part two will focus on the nature of how character design will function in this AU as a whole, as well as changes to more minor characters.

#the simpsons #bart simpson #lisa simpson #maggie simpson #homer simpson #marge simpson #character design #simpsons au

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harryscurationproject-blog · 6 years ago

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What Inspired Mixed Signals?

If you know me, you know I love music. Recently, I released my first song, Mixed Signals. This was my entire year, because for the longest time, I wanted to delve into music myself, but I wasn’t really sure where to start. I spent months on end researching to develop a craft that I felt represented the pieces of me from now, and yet still encapsulate the sound and roots I had found and loved from when I was young. I started this in December or January, but took forever to finish it. I am nonetheless proud of it. I was inspired by a variation of artists, songs, movies, and just the world around me. Some of these songs have been longterm inspirations, or something that came out in the process and made me say WOW!

I feel like this one is very special to me. Not because I think it’s my best written song, or because the production or mixing and mastering is PHENOMENAL, but I think it marks a period in my life that says that things are real. I dedicated 4 months to learning how to produce better so that way I could get a closer sound, to my sound. That didn’t really happen with this one, but we’re on our way. The artifacts I used were songs that, I think, steered me in the right direction. Records, monologues, or visuals that when I see, hear, and feel, I say to myself, “I wish I was doing that. Well, maybe not quite that, but… similar.” These are things I first saw when I was in elementary school, first getting a feel for art-culture with films like Palo Alto, or things I discovered last November, like Sabrina Claudio’s “About Time”.

I wonder if one day I will get to be in someone’s curation. That one day, someone will look up to me and my work, the way I look up to these people’s. The way I capture my life, the way they capture theirs. All I know, is that these people changed mine.

Sincerely,

Harry

I never understood Sabrina Claudio the first time I listened to her. I didn’t get it - who was she? And why was her sound so... different... from my expectations of who I thought she was.

I can’t really remember why I even listened to this song, or how I even found it, or why I even revisited About Time, the record it’s from, considering I really only liked maybe 3 songs. I just remember instantly falling in love with this particular song - her voice sounding different than usual, the lyricism, and the all around different sound from her. I followed up with that by going to read about it on Genius. What caught me was that she said it reminded her native land of Miami, and how she was challenged by her producer to step out of her usual comfort zone. I have never once visited Miami in my life, but for some reason, I could imagine it. The palm trees, warm air, and atmosphere of a permanent heat so blazing you forget to feel it. With records about Miami, they typically highlight drug use, or some sort of vacation, so this was so confusing (Miami - Kali Uchis, Miami - Nicki Minaj). It sure as hell drove me to listen, and fall in love with her other music.

I could almost feel her personal connection. I could feel the energy shift, compared to the other 11 songs. I was a fan before, I had even seen her live at the cancelled-midway Panorama festival. But things just never really clicked, with all of her projects, I felt like the standouts stood out, but while they were beautiful, bold, and vibrant, the other tracks felt like going nowhere on a rollercoaster, waiting for things to shoot up again. But this finally put all the puzzle pieces together.

I remember instantly opening up Logic, wanting to capture those feelings. I looked through my Notes app on my iPhone, wanting to see if I had anything. Unfortunately, the first song I made for it, didn’t really cut it. So, I opened up a file I had, looking to see if I had anything that sounded better. Instantly, the two were begging to be together, like Romeo and Juliet. I knew what I had to do. This was the main basis of the song I put out as my first song.

You know, the first time I had ever heard of Emma Roberts was when I was like 5 years old. I hadn’t really thought of her, like at all, until I had heard about “American Horror Story: Coven,” which changed that perception. She had grown up, and all of a sudden, I loved her attitude, style, and her as a person, all because of some character I had seen her play.

When I first heard the words “I wish I didn’t care about anything. But I do care, I care about everything too much,” I was taken aback. I had to find out who said that! Where was it from? It wasn’t even the words themselves, just more so the way they were said. They had a particular sadness to them.

10-year-old me did some research and found that they were from a movie called Palo Alto, which had no significance to me. At all. What the hell was a Palo Alto? I looked it up, and results for some place in California showed up. I was so confused, and then searched up “palo alto movie”, and then found out it was based on the town itself. I didn’t really care for the movie, but I still loved the audio from the particular clip itself.

In 2017, I took an audio production course, so that way I could advance in my audio production career. I kind of just sat there for a week of the two weeks, from 9-5, because I had no idea where to start. I couldn’t commit to an audio, I had no lyrics I liked, and wanted a fresh start, so I couldn’t recycle any Garageband projects. I was fooling around on the MIDI keyboard, and then I heard this really pretty ambient sound. I stacked a few chords on one another, and then you had it! But it was still missing something, and I was stumped what. But it HIT! I needed to use that sample.

Sadly, it didn’t really amount to much. But I still wanted to put it in something, the sample. It’s really beautiful to me. So, I loaded her voice into “Mixed Signals.” I couldn’t use it in the song because I don’t have the license, but I kept the file so I could reference it for later. Without it, I wouldn’t have had a clue where to go with the song.

The timing for Beyoncé to put Lemonade on streaming platforms (Apple Music, Spotify, etc.) was weirdly appropriate. I had just finished paying homage to that album for my art class by doing some sort of piece for it, which kinded consisted of me collaging the stills from the film and using writing and just kind of splattering it on the pictures. Then, in the midst of it all, Homecoming (her live Coachella film) was announced. I loved Lemonade a lot. I remember the day it was announced in 2016, dropped the following week on HBO, and watching the film and being in shock. It was an event! So 3 YEARS later, after all the Grammy hype, for it to drop, especially after she essentially said “I don’t need Spotify” on Everything is Love, it was incredibly random.

I was in the mixing stages of my song when this all happened. I remember getting the text that “SORRY ORIGINAL DEMO. HELP.” from my friend Angelo, and being kind of confused because we already had the 12 tracks. However, a gift came. When I first heard the demo, I was shocked, mainly because it was kind of the sound I wanted. I hadn’t really done that though. So I went back to change my final mix. Maybe I needed a synth somewhere, or a swell of some sort? I compared the two, the original and the demo. I also took the live version from Homecoming into consideration.

This demo really helped me get a clear vision for my own demos. I realized that although you could have a very drastic difference, as long as sonically you know where you want to go, it doesn’t matter as much as you may think it does, because where you start isn’t where you’ll finish. If you have a vision, execute it. That’s what she always does, and the final product is always flawless. (Homecoming has a 98 on Metacritic and Lemonade has a 92). Also, time isn’t a real constraint. She takes her sweet time to perfect things, but she always perfects them, real well. And that taught me ethic, which inspired me toward the end to make sure things are perfect, and what I like, always. No matter how long it may takes.

Iggy, Iggy, Iggy. Such a polarizing figure to the general public, from the time I was 9 or 10. I always liked her. At this point, when I got inspired by her, her “glory days” of number one hits and diamond singles like Fancy, Black Widow, Problem, were long gone under some “she’s whack” guise, but I didn’t care at all. Music is music. Whether it be her stellar visuals, or her live shows, I’ve always been inspired by her work ethic. I remember I sat in the audience for a live interview for AOL Build that she had to promote her EP, Survive the Summer, where she talked about how she has nineteen hour studio days.

Part of my ethic is that I do everything myself, which in itself is really time consuming. I am my own producer, mixing engineer, recording engineer, mastering engineer, and I am definitely my own vocals. I would always listen to this song to remember that. She talks about how she moved out at 16, all alone in the middle of Miami with no money, and just hustled and worked until her dreams came true. I’m obviously very fortunate to not be in that exact predicament, but I remember that if I work really hard at something, anything is possible. Although they say “the sky's the limit” is cliché, clichés exist for a reason, and I’ll never stop following that motto, because I wanna go past the sky.

With “Work”, I will never forget watching the video of Iggy performing at The Observatory in Orange County, and not only was the crowd SCREAMING her words and story back to her, but the video had over a million views. Over a million people wanted to see what they missed out on in the flesh, and wanted to relive it through someone’s lens. If she could do it, I can do it too, is what that video taught me. She pushed through her hardships, and although having to do everything by yourself makes things only about 5x harder because of all the hats you have to put on, I can push through something less demanding and circumstantial. Without her, maybe this song would have been done and put out, but maybe it would have taken years to put it out. This song taught me to always push through, and also taught me a way of brutally honest storytelling which I would have thought before was too literal.

The most common advice I received from every person in the music industry was to write from your experiences. Whether it be from singers, A&Rs, managers, or just people who have genuinely been in the music industry for years, they constantly said the same thing. But when I began writing, I didn’t have any experiences, until 2018. I paused making music as a producer, I paused writing, I paused THINKING. I had juiced my mind out of any ideas I had! I needed to live.

2018 was easily the most rewarding years of my life. In every area of my development as not only a person, but an artist, I had grown so much. I had a lot more friends. My personality was more developed. And best of all, I had more to talk about, whether it had been about being featured on an iHeartRadio show with one of my favorite artists, partying every weekend in Bushwick, or traveling to Chicago for a music festival with my best friends and being basically unattended, free to roam around and do ANYTHING (Lolla pics), I felt like I was finally where I wanted to be. The teenage experience I had dreamt about for years, that I had seen glamorized everywhere I looked when I was in preschool and elementary school was in my hands. I had my own sense of consciousness.

How this all ties in is funny, because the last thing on my mind was music. It was around me all the time, with concerts (confirmation receipt), events I would go to, and just my friends always blaring it wherever we would go. It was constantly surrounding me, and I channeled all the leftover energy I had from the summer into my own music when I had finally winded down enough to sit down and decide what I really want. How badly I want to be in that position, where people include me in their own curations.

So all the friendships I made and broke, the music, the parties, the sounds around me, it all went into a big mixing pot, and it spewed out with this song. My friends were the bane of my existence in 2018. I was never without them, every step of the way. Everything I did, it was for them. I could never have written anything, came up with another melody, or even thought of anything without them. They changed my life, so now I can change someone elses with my work. They are Mixed Signals.

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inikavulpixelreviews · 7 years ago

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Let’s Talk About Pokemon - Z...eroara?

570: Zorua

Welp. This is it. It's all downhill from here. This is the highlight. The big triumph over my heart. We won't see another Pokemon be able to top this one across the entirety of this review series. (Unless of course something even more perfect graces us in a future Generation...)

That's right folks. If you know me from my personal blog, it may be no surprise that I absolutely adore Zorua here. I've done my best to not outright say it on here, but I wouldn't be surprised if I laid out less than subtle hints. If not, well, er. Here it is. Zorua, my absolute #1 favorite Pokemon. And if that's not enough, these two collectively are also my favorite evolutionary family to boot!

And while I'll make an entire segment to just gush about both of them, I'll cover the two individually since they're fairly aesthetically different from each other.

Zorua here is the absolute perfect fox creature for me. Literally the only absent bit to it is that it's not a baby nine-tailed fox. But we'll be fair since we've already come up with one, and this one has a cooler theme at least just stand-alone as a fox. The tricky and shady look to it isn't just a personality choice; this Pokemon can change its appearance on a whim. Emphasis on appearance though. It's not like ditto where it'll literally shapeshift, but rather more like an illusionist; only appearing to shape shift. Which can create situations where you can fake-out opponents (or cheese the computer-controlled trainers by making it take on the shape of a Poison type as they desperately try to hit it wish Psychic moves that just won't work for whatever reason.)

The lil guy's tuft of hair even takes on the appearance of a little leaf over its head. Giving it some Tanooki vibes! Which is a Japanese mythical creature I'm surprised took this long for us to get a representative of. And even then, it's a fairly indirect one. It loses the look entirely when it evolves, but it at least fits with Zorua between the “leaf” on its head and the ability to psuedo-shape-shift.

Not to mention, Zorua's also got a bit of sentimental value being not only the first Pokemon I've laid eyes on from Gen 5 (comes with being the first of the two revealed, alongside Zoroark). But also this little bit of self-trivia I suppose. By now, a lot of people that follow me on any social medias or art sites will see me draw plenty of Pokemon the day they're announced to exist in a trailer or what-have-you, especially if I like them a lot. Zorua's the very first time I've ever done this. I guess granting I didn't start taking art seriously until well after Gen 4 was released, but still.

Personal Score: 10/10

I'm not quite done talking about Zorua, but let's get a word in for Zoroark too before we really get into gushing mode.

571: Zoroark

Zoroark may understandably be a put-off given it had marketing advertising it as the next Lucario and it's another anthropomorphic canid. But Zoroark is leagues ahead of Lucario with an overall tighter theme and aesthetic. Zoroark looks much more animalistic; mostly enough to be firmly out of any uncanny valley that it would have fallen in, and its design elements flow much better than Lucario's rather clunky execution. So I didn't mind Gamefreak trying to push this one as the “your new favorite Pokemon” shtick they like to pull. That's very selfish I know, but...

It's also very unique given anthropomorphic foxes in fiction. A lot of them take after Renamon or the like to be very pretty and upright. While Zoroark's still a design I'd describe as “pretty,” it's also very gangly and menacing, complete with the shit-eating grin, long face, and a design the emphasizes a flow into aggressive forward...ness.

My one solitary issue with the design is that its midsection looks a bit too skinny. I get it, sleek, tricky fox. But that's a step too far, I feel.

Personal Score: 10/10

A pair of near-perfect tricky foxies!!

Overall:

Ohhhh no. We're not getting off Matt's wild ride that easily. It's my absolute favorite, so instead of an “overall” segment, I'm gonna take a number from Bogleech and say let's do a...

Top 10 Things I Love About Zorua and Zoroark:

1. A Fox

Let's get this out of the way since that's a given. But I don't meant to point that out because I'm shallow like that; I can get REALLY picky about how my fox monsters look. But rather, these two are plenty unique among the other fox or fox-like Pokemon. Sure, I love me some Vulpix, Fennekin, and some of the Eeveelutions, but they all end up sharing the same general cutesy look. Zorua on the other hand takes on a whole other personality from the previously established foxy Pokemon. And Zoroark too! Ninetales and Delphox generally lean more toward looking beautiful more than anything, but that's not Zoroark's sole focus here. Instead, we get a much cooler looking monster with a more gangly face, which is a type of fox-look sorely missing from the foxmons all the way up until now. The only downside is that it isn't full gangly crookedness like Murkrow. But that's fine by me.

2. The Kabuki Dancer Theme

More prominent with Zoroark, for sure, is the fact that these two take heavily after Kabuki theater. Zoroark's really rocking the tons-o-hair look, with the both sporting some red markings to look like makeup.

3. Their Color Scheme

It's hard to go wrong with black and red, sure. That's a pretty go-to color scheme for something shady or, dare I say, “edgy”. But it serves these two better than most given they lean more toward the “shifty shadows” type of critter than “ultimate edgelord” like Shadow or Reaper or what have you. Then you also add in the teal, bluish green. Just the absolute perfect amount. A tiny accent and little more. Not too obtrusive or anything, because too much of that color could've easily thrown the whole thing off. But they held their restraint. Thank goodness.

4. Their Faces

I've gone over Zoroark's face enough by now, and how wonderful it is. But Zorua's adorably smug look and sly fox visage is the totally perfect foxy face. Now flaws. Just a sleezy friend.

5. They're Fluffy as Hell

Okay, this one I will admit is shallow as heck. But I don't care. Zorua's got the good ol neck ruff that makes it look super huggable. Zoroark may be sorely lacking a tail, but it plenty makes up for it with that big, poofy head of hair. Hair so big and poofy that their Zorua children can sleep in it. That's cute as hell.

6. The Okami Vibes

Obviously not in art style or even saying they deliberately went for an Okami look, but they certainly look like they wouldn't be too out of place as a creature out of Okami wouldn't they? Zoroark's design even calls Ninetails to mind, even moreso than the actual Ninetales. While Okami does tend to favor ogre-ish and Oni-like designs for their monsters, they do have such creatures running around like the tricky Tube Fox.

7. They Don't Kill Each Other's Vibe

It happens far too often that a cute or unique Pokemon will evolve into an ultimate badass that, while cool, end up really losing out on the original form's charm. These two, while pretty drastically different, aren't so completely detached that I'd say Zoroark is missing the same aesthetic cues of Zorua or vice versa!

8. They're Even Fun To Use Ingame!

Because of their Illusion ability, they can end up having a unique play pattern different form most other Pokemon. Especially if you're playing in the single-player parts of the game. Sadly, Zoroark can be predicted into with online battles since you get to see team layouts, but in a regular casual playthrough of a Pokemon game it's definitely fun to watch the AI fall for your disguise tricks. Especially when you disguise your Zoroark as a Fighting or Poison type fighting a Psychic type and watch as they hopelessly attempt to use Psychic moves against a Dark type.

I've also got a fun fascination with shapeshifting, so. Even psuedo-shapeshifting like with these two is neat. Ditto is cool and all but. A fox that shapeshifts? Get outta here. Now you're just toying with me.

9. Ridiculously Photogenic

Yeah, I guess technically any Pokemon is subject to this but. Just looking at illustrations of them is always really nice. Especially when you find really good ones. TCG art is for the most part pretty great, so of course I'm a fan of the illustration on certain cards.

10. Extremely Fun to Draw

Yeah, maybe that's not a totally fair thing but. I really can't say I'd ever get tired of drawing these two. I could draw them into infinity if I really wanted to just never draw anything else ever. That's the true problem with the world! To many things that are also fun to draw! Keeping me from drawing Zorua constantly! Bah!

There are two shames to this line. One being you could say that these two are pretty much sequels to Riolu and Lucario, Pokemon I've previously tore into. And Pokemon's not seemed shy of introducing, I hate putting it this way but, “furrybait” Pokemon. So these two had a success formulated in much the same way as Lucario. But they both pull it off so much more tastefully than Lucario's nonsense design does.

The other bummer being that, in a post-Gen 5 world, their popularity has significantly fallen off. Don't get me wrong, I'm fine with Pokemon other than my absolute favorites getting some time in the limelight, but it's so annoying seeing repeated Pokemon Marketing All-Stars that you find boring getting things like Mega Evolutions or Alolan Forms with your top favorite Pokemon of all time sadly getting left out. Lucario can get a Mega, Charizard can get two, but not Zoroark?!

Anyway, sure, this review has gone on long enough. Fiiiiine. I got to sing all the praise I can. Fox Pokemon has historically been the best of the canid Pokemon. So hopefully all foxes from this point onward don't disappoint. You got high standards to live up to!

[Archive]

#Pokemon #Zorua #Zoroark #Pokemon Reviews #570 Zorua #571 Zoroark

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tehuti88-art · 2 years ago

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8/12/22: r/SketchDaily theme, "Mushrooms/Free Draw Friday." (I did Free Draw Friday.)

This week's character from my anthro WWII storyline is Corporal Anna Julian, with four drawings: Hair down sans garrison cap (first drawing), hair up sans garrison cap (second drawing), hair down with garrison cap (third drawing), hair up with garrison cap (last drawing). She's one of the original "Trench Rats" (American Allies) in the story and gets involved with their original sergeant, Camo. In the earlier version of the story she had a tragic plot; now her plot's tragic as well as quite dark, as she has a particularly nasty secret. There'll be more about her later in my art Tumblr and Toyhou.se.

I haven't much to say regarding her design but that at the last minute I decided on a hair-up look to complement the hair-down look.

TUMBLR EDIT: Anna Julian is an OLLLLLD character whose history has changed drastically, most of that change being recent (and lots of fog still remaining--she's not being entirely forthcoming just yet). Her original history makes me very uncomfortable to share, but of course I have to, so here I go.

My Trench Rats series has gone through several major iterations since its creation some time in childhood. It was based on a misunderstanding (albeit an intentional one, I guess) I had of a project my mother, then a seamstress, was working on. She was making what I remember as satin capes and caps with Mickey Mouse-style ears, in various colors such as black, gold, red, purple, etc. I asked her what these were and she mentioned something called the "Trench Rats." This was in the Eighties--no Internet, and we had just a set of hopelessly outdated encyclopedias at the time. Somehow, maybe by asking my dad, I learned that "trench rats" was a term for soldiers in WWI. Here's where the "intentional misunderstanding" comes in. I believe I was always aware that trench rats were a WWI thing. But for some reason I can't recall, I decided that MY Trench Rats--literal anthropomorphic rats--would be in WWII. So to anyone who might see my WWII Trench Rats and get peeved by that "mistake," rest assured it was intentional. (The reason for this has since been retconned into the plot, see below for a brief explanation.)

I've since Googled this. Why would my mother be making capes and hats for "Trench Rats"? She often did sewing jobs for individuals and in this case an organization. Turns out there's some sort of fraternal-type organization devoted to the original WWI vets though obviously it's shifted its purpose by now. There are no capes to be seen...but there ARE colored hats. In this case, fezzes. Like Shriners (another group I incorporated into earlier writing of mine). The colors have to do with different ranks and they have things like white and purple, though there are also colors just associated with ranks and tassels and not fezzes, for example I think there's a "Golden Rodent." I specifically remember MOUSE-EAR CAPS in colors like red, black, and gold (incidentally, the colors of the modern German flag), but I'm willing to bet my childhood brain misremembered it all. I couldn't find out much more about these Trench Rats (their site is very basic), but I decided to not look further anyway because I might find a political angle or something that will completely ruin my childhood memory right when I'm FINALLY giving it the attention it deserves. So, that's the only connection my story has to the "real" Trench Rats as they exist today. Mickey Mouse ears were too goofy (no pun intended) even for me, so not long after these were changed into what I misassumed was the typical German headgear, that funky spiked helmet which it turns out is called the Pickelhaube (hahaha, yep, no lie.) Which it turns out was WWI wear, not WWII! So this choice here actually WAS a mistake. I also misassumed the Pickelhaube was merely the ACTUAL WWII German helmet (the Stahlhelm) just with a spike on top; you can see this remaining to this day in my art. Same as above, I retconned an explanation for these outdated helmets--these "Trench Rats" are mimicking German soldiers of the Great War in an attempt to psych out the superstitious Nazis (shortly after, they drop the pretense but keep the uniforms). The solid colors I'd seen on the outfits my mother was sewing turned into color-coded outfits my Rats wore and were named after--Black, Gold, Burgundy, etc. Kind of a clunky retcon but there you go, I tried.

One of the first iterations of the Rats, if not THE first, simply involved a friend and myself pretending to be them on the elementary school playground at recess. I specifically remember old tires that had been half-buried in the ground (we'd run over these), and a bunch that had been stacked atop each other; we'd crawl inside and pretend to be imprisoned. At this point, the Rats were constantly antagonized by the bad guy, who was named Inspector Dobermann. (Initially named after the dog breed, I later gave him the name Louis, from the guy who actually bred the doberman pinscher into existence. Aside from that, he's really not based on the guy, even though an early version of him was meant to be a tax collector, which has since been dropped.) I guess this was when I settled on the story consisting mainly of good guy rodents and bad guy canines. And of course, the bad guys were Nazis. We goosestepped whenever we played them because in our fifth- or sixth-grade minds, that was what Nazis did. At this point Dobermann was a silly character subordinate to Woofwoof Hitler...sigh, I kid you not...who also was silly. There was no mention of camps or the Holocaust and I'd never heard of the SS, this was just idiotic ignorant gradeschool "fun." (For what it's worth, Dobey was constantly being bested.)

(You'll notice that in these early iterations, Sgt. Camo and Cpl. Drake, the original Trench Rats leaders, didn't exist yet. Same for Didrika, Boris, Ratdog, Klemper, Senta, Helmstadt, Holt, Reseda, Wolfstein, Gerhardt, I could go on for quite a while. Indigo, Papillon, and Addy Dobermann came along not long after, though the latter two were named LaFierre and Bambush Dobermann (DON'T ASK!--I have no idea!), and "Bambush" was much more independent and outspoken and annoying. Silver was there, but not too important yet. Dr. Kammler I believe may have existed in a very rudimentary, unnamed version who later got the appellation "Dr. C." D-Day, Burgundy, and Turquoise were already important characters, though. Meanwhile, formerly important characters Red, Purple, Green, and Blue started falling by the wayside, although I've since made Blue, along with Silver, Turquoise, Indigo, Copper, and a few others, one of the very original group of soldiers who were subsumed into the Trench Rats. And a very few characters, such as "Mam Rat" (oh God I won't get into it), were completely scrapped.)

Going into junior high, the story gradually began to darken. It went through a weird phase of shoehorning female equivalents of the male characters into the plot, in the person of the "Trench Mice." Yep. ;_; They simply had the same color names only with "Y" on the end--Sgt. Reddy Mouse and Cpl. Pinky Mouse were the two main characters. Fortunately, the Trench Mice phase didn't last long, and it was long ago completely dropped. Dobermann, however, started undergoing a makeover, becoming much more mysterious and ominous a character, whose exact motivations and even alignment remained unknown to me until literally...*checks notes*...December 2, 2021. Yep, I took a note when his purpose in the story finally revealed itself to me. I was in junior high from 1989-1991--the time period when the Berlin Wall fell!--so look how long it took for Dobey to finally open up to me. THIRTY YEARS! About damn time! (The story series was much more broken up at this point, and there was meant to be an uber-edgy novel called Inspector Dobermann To The Core, but like the Mice, this has since thankfully been scrapped.)

('Nother odd detail. Around this point, since Dobey was becoming more serious, the "comic relief" consisted of a pair of bumbling Nazis codenamed Nightstalker (or just Stalker) and Deserta. Don't ask, I have no memory how they got these names. Stalker, I believe, was a doberman pinscher and Deserta was a German shepherd whose voice and personality were modeled after a favorite science teacher of mine. (Hi, Mr. Scott!) Stalker was the more serious of the two, kind of short tempered and a bit prissy, and for some reason I seem to recall him with glasses; Deserta was the bigger, dumber one, not as ill tempered as Stalker but kind of clumsy. These two, like the Trench Mice and (thank God) Woofwoof Hitler, were phased out...or so I thought. Look at the characters of the current version and you'll find a pair, the smarter one with glasses, and the big dumb one--the first is even still a doberman pinscher, although the second is now a Great Dane. It certainly wasn't intentional, and I didn't even notice it at first, but it really does look like Nightstalker and Deserta were effectively replaced by Lt. Gunter Hesse and Master Sgt. Theodor Schulte.)

Schavich is another character who underwent major changes. He was conflated quite a bit with Woofwoof in the earlier stuff, and was very goofy and unintimidating. (Woofwoof is the one who says something similar in the existing text, but Schavich also was primarily known to yell stuff like, "Zose--dirty--TRENCH RATS!!" Yes, I had to phonetically write out the German accent, which only Woofwoof and Schavich seemed to possess... 🤔 ) He's since replaced "Hitler" as the primary rodent antagonist (though in truth, the primary antagonists in this story are nebulous, I think the main bad guy is actually the SS itself rather than any one individual), become more serious, and is on the verge of a name change ("Schavitz" is much more appropriate than the made-up--and Russian-sounding--Schavich).

But anyway...Anna Julian is a character who I believe came about during this darker intermediary period. Her story is told in the first known written version of The Trench Rats--not the first version, the first WRITTEN version. (It claims to be based on an even earlier version, but that's not extant, plus I don't remember it.) And after digging up the typeout (and grimacing at awful dialogue like "I hate this. I just hate war." "Aw, these Nazis'll give up soon." "Yeah, but it's still stupid. Putting people in concentration camps just because they worship a little differently? That's dumb"--OH GOD MAKE IT STOP), I realize Julian's story was where the original text ended. I remember it was extremely difficult for me to write; and even to share it here, despite all the other stuff I've shared, is really hard, too. Still, here's the original text, with my commentary removed. This was written over a period of time but is dated November(?) 1990. Please keep that in mind--at least when I started this text, I'd just turned 14 years old. And my writing at 14 years old is absolutely dreadful.

"We're here," he said. "Now what's this about, Turquoise?"

His older friend heaved a great breath and let it out. "There's something I've been carrying with me for years Gold, and now I want to get it off my chest before I lose it."

"Why now?" Gold asked.

"It's because of the grenade explosion," Turquoise replied. "When I woke up I thought of how close I came to getting it, and how next time I might not be so lucky so this secret would die with me. So I thought I'd tell it to you. You're tougher than an old bird like me. Sit down and make yourself comfortable if that's at all possible."

Gold did as he was told and Turquoise, with the West Wing entrance looming as his background, began his story.

"Of course it was a very long time ago when all of the original Rats were here, before the Wing was closed," he started. "We had a totally different sergeant, a totally different corporal, different lance-corporals and privates. Even Blue was rather new and he was still a private first-class. You probably wouldn't know this, but back then we had another thing that was totally different; we had a female Trench Rat."

"A lady Rat?" Gold interjected.

Turquoise nodded. "And I don't mean like Mam either. She was just like us--only more like Burgundy. She never did any real fighting but was more into Burgundy's line of work."

"You mean doctoring and bookwork."

A nod. "But nonetheless she was a Trench Rat, like you or me. Now, how do you think the others' feelings would be about that?"

"A lady Rat?... I guess they wouldn't like it too much."

"You're right. Barely anyone liked the idea. Most hated it from the start but the sergeant wasn't for sexual discrimination and let her enter. I suppose you can imagine the jeers and remarks she had to take."

"You bet I can."

"There were only a few of us who took it in stride. I myself was one of them, and Burgundy, and--"

"Let me guess: Blue and Doomsday."

"Right again. So of course we were about the only ones whom she really became acquainted with. And that was mostly just on a professional level. This is a cold, cold world. I suppose she learned that, also. In a terrible way."

"What do you mean?"

Now Turquoise acted almost guiltily. "Afterwards she told me most of the story, so I'll piece it together. As best as I can remember, several of the Rats were apparently growing bolder in their actions. They disliked how well the lady Rat and the sergeant got along. Maybe they misinterpreted their casual friendship, for that's all it was, and decided to do something about it. Do 'something' they did--one night three of them accosted her in the empty West Wing, first pretending to be friendly, then becoming more threatening, and finally raping her and leaving her behind."

Gold shuddered. "I never thought they'd do something so low!"

"That's not the end of it. I'm not certain how long after it was, but later that night or the next she came to my quarters and cried to be let in. There she told me everything, except who the Rats were; she didn't know their names but could only point them out. She said that if she told anyone they had threatened to get rid of her in some way--I don't know if by actual killing or not--and further stated that during the attack she had seen another Trench Rat, a great distance away at the entrance, notice what was happening and quickly dart away. I had her go to bed, telling her we could look through the files tomorrow after she had settled down a little more. She never got to identify any of the four Rats though because directly after she disappeared."

"Disappeared?" Gold said with great surprise.

Turquoise nodded a third time. "The next day she was gone. There were signs that she never even made it to her quarters. Later in the day while we searched one of the Rats came to me and asked if she had visited and told me anything unusual. I said no, she'd just dropped in to give me something, but hinted that she had been acting oddly, as if she were afraid of something. This seemed to shake him up a little, but he left and it was supposed then that she, finding barracks life too hard, had gone AWOL. Not long after, before I could figure out how to tell my strange story to the sergeant, there was the trench raid, when the poison gas killed off nearly all of the Rats. The Rat who had so oddly questioned me was killed, and the sergeant's body, if he too died, was never found."

"What about the other three?" Gold asked.

"I don't know. The Rat who visited me seemed to have several friends waiting, and I recognized them as killed or missing in action, and I never did find out about the last Rat."

Gold was silent for a moment. "He was the only one...?"

Turquoise closed his eyes and nodded. "The only witness. The only one who could tell who the attackers were. And I don't know if he's dead or alive." He heaved a sigh of helplessness. "He could be almost anybody! He could be Purple, or Blue, or D-Day, or any one of those scores who were killed in the trenches or taken prisoner. I don't even know who he is."

Another silence. "What happened then?"

"There were only about two dozen of us, so we cleared out the rooms of the West Wing--one of which was her original quarters--and had it boarded up. I had only several days to look around and try to find anything, any little clue as to what happened. She couldn't have gone AWOL. I know she wouldn't. I asked D-Day once if he thought she'd deserted, and even he--someone who has no idea of what really happened--said it seemed doubtful. But nothing ever turned up, and the West Wing was closed down, and now here it is." He took a deep breath again. "You can't possibly imagine how it feels to finally let that all out. All these years I've never told anybody. I didn't know just what to tell them."

"You've done more than a good job of telling me," Gold said.

Turquoise managed a weak smile. "I suppose that's because I knew I had to tell someone before I burst. I can't help feeling guilty, like I never did enough."

Gold reached across and patted his shoulder. "Nothing's your fault. Even if you would've told the sergeant probably nothing could be done. I know I would have gone crazy by now holding that in!"

His friend shrugged. "Maybe I have!"

Additionally, here's a note I added when I typed out the above some years back (last modified in 2018, though it likely predates that):

Note--Turquoise's tale of the only female Trench Rat, and the ruined West Wing, remain in the current storyline in modified format. The female Trench Rat, who is unnamed here, goes by the name Anna Julian and in the current storyline she DID disappear mysteriously around the same time as the gas attack...but I decided that the story that Turquoise tells here is too ludicrous, hence, Julian's disappearance must have another meaning behind it. Seeing as Julian plays no part in the current story, I have yet to come up with this backstory. In the current story, there is ANOTHER female Trench Rat--Lyndsey Skye--who serves Burgundy as a nurse.

So as you can see, Julian's story, mostly intact and same as the original version, still existed as of the previous (circa 2000) version of The Trench Rats, but the outcome had yet to be resolved. This has only just started to happen but is still quite foggy, as I'm finding Anna Julian (who at some point acquired the rank of corporal) to be quite secretive. She's not pouring out her story to me like the others so far.

In the new version, there may still be a rape involved, though not at the hands of the Trench Rats, and possibly it's just an attempt. Maybe even it's staged as a ruse for her to first meet another new character, Liam Morgan (no rank yet). But let me back up a bit.

From what little I know so far--and this could still change--Cpl. Julian is at first uninvolved with the newly formed Trench Rats, but is stationed with the British just inside Germany (weird, I know, but my entire version of this war is weird); she often acts as a sort of liaison. Morgan takes notice of her somewhat meek, subdued nature, and gets the idea she might be rather impressionable. He also somehow learns that she harbors vague feelings that, while odious, are not that uncommon considering the time period. Namely, she's not that fond of Jews.

So already the sweet innocent early version of Anna Julian is no more.

Morgan makes a plan to recruit Julian for his own purposes. Why would he need to, you may ask?--he's a member of the British military, and they're already allies, right? Well...not ENTIRELY right. Because Morgan himself has been recruited, by the Waffen-SS. He's one of a handful of British soldiers who work for the Nazis.

(This here is VERY VERY VERY loosely based on a unit that actually existed, the British Free Corps--British POWs who fought for the Waffen-SS. Take note, however, that in my version, this includes not just infantry soldiers but apparently also spies. Morgan isn't wearing German insignia and fighting alongside the Germans in plain sight. He went back to the British but is working for the Nazis, undercover. So...a double agent? Maybe? Double agents confuse the hell out of me, suffice it to say he's British, but is spying for the Nazis, but is pretending to still work for the British.)

This may be where a staged assault attempt takes place, but I'm not sure. If it does, Morgan intervenes to "save" Julian and thus not just introduce himself, but create a favorable impression as a "hero." They slowly get to know each other, as she's not the trusting sort, yet his protective nature wins her over. (Yes, this version of Julian is quite weak willed. There's a reason I don't write many female characters, they used to always end up like this. But this is why Morgan targets her.) She doesn't just fall in love with him, she practically becomes his (mostly) willing slave. He's recruiting her for a purpose, but he thinks nothing of testing her to see just how much she's willing to take, and the answer is just about anything; even when she protests, he manages to convince her. So Anna Julian is basically putty in his hands and he successfully recruits her as a spy for the Waffen-SS, radicalizing her with ever more hateful and extreme thoughts. He convinces her to attempt to join and spy on the fledgling Trench Rats, whom the Nazis have realized are not actually Great War ghosts. The other British troops Morgan serves with have no idea about his actual alignment; they approve Julian's request to act as a liaison to the Americans, as the SS hopes that she'll be allowed to join their battalion and reveal its location to the Nazis.

It's a bit complicated, however. The Trench Rats are very secretive, and have a strict policy regarding revealing the location of their HQ. ONLY Trench Rats are allowed to know--and Julian isn't a Trench Rat. (One notable exception to this rule is French partisan Papillon, who notified his own people about the site--but he found this out on his own, while spying on the newcomers from above. He's the story's lone bat character, and this serves him well.) Doesn't matter even when she's granted permission to work alongside them--whenever she's transported to Trench Rats HQ, she needs to literally be blindfolded, have headphones put on, and placed in the back of a covered truck or a closed compartment on their transport canines. Seems extreme, yes, but considering the sensitive nature of the Rats' work--stealing Nazi documents in an effort to derail their massive medical experimentation project--they can't take chances. Julian finds herself frustrated.

Morgan decides it's time to amp up their effort, and tells Julian to attempt to seduce the corporal, Drake. She's reluctant--she's already involved with Morgan, plus, Drake is Jewish, which she finds odious--she has enough of a time just putting on a kind face around him--but Morgan wheedles her into it. The effort fails miserably--turns out Drake is much more interested in Papillon than in her. o_o; Oops. Julian dejectedly informs her handler. Morgan instructs her to target Camo, then: He's studied the file the Allgemeine-SS put together on Camo (as Capt. Himmel explains in the sequel story, they attempt to keep files on e-v-e-r-y-b-o-d-y), and thinks he's a better target anyway, being a widower who lost his wife and young daughter tragically (in an accident which also left him hooked on morphine) and has never remarried since. He's in pain, and grieving, and is likely lonely. Julian makes a move on him. It's a VERY gradual process, but this time around, it works.

Well...only sort of. Camo does fall for the romantic ruse...but he doesn't give up any intel. Julian's good at being subtle but Camo's even better at keeping secrets, and despite them getting close he doesn't tell her the location of headquarters. He does, however, put in a good word for her with the others at the British outpost, and they get in touch with Camo's superiors in the US and start discussing options to have Julian officially join the Trench Rats. Eventually she's approved...and of course, is given her own room at headquarters.

So in the end, no, Camo never cracks and gives up the secret to the enemy...but yes...he helps let the enemy right in the front door.

This whole time, Julian been reporting to the SS on her progress. Although she's working for the Waffen-SS, the intel she gathers goes through the Allgemeine-SS, who as I mentioned keep records on every-freaking-thing. They're also the ones in charge of that big Nazi medical experiment the Trench Rats are attempting to stop. This is Projekt Weltuntergang, or as the Allies know it, Project Doomsday. It's already responsible for the capture of at least two American soldiers: one from the initial group with Indigo, Silver, et al., since codenamed Doomsday or D-Day himself, and Teal Rat. (Though I believe Teal is one of this group, too.) In an immense stroke of bad luck, Teal was captured when D-Day was rescued. It's discovered that success of the serum used in the project depends on the subject having a particular very rare blood type mutation. D-Day has this mutation. Teal does not. Therefore, he won't be useful as a test subject. Therefore, he's more likely to be subjected to torture for information. So by now, the Trench Rats are worried that Teal could be the one to end up revealing the location of headquarters. They're right about the torture--Dr. Kammler, or "C" as the Allies know him, is incredibly pissed off to lose his most successful test subject, so he takes that out on Teal. They're right about the attempts to extract information. They're wrong about Teal being the one to reveal this info; wonder of wonders, he manages to hold out despite everything C throws at him. It's Anna Julian who reveals this information...Teal's just the poor guy who gets the blame.

There's an interesting development when Julian visits with the SS to give them information. She gets the chance to see project headquarters and another test subject named Kolten. Kolten is considered "blöd," or stupid/slow, yet has the right blood type, so is a perfect initial subject, along with a Jewish prisoner named Jakob Wolfstein. They both see Julian talking with members of the SS and saluting. Kolten, who busies himself drawing and building with blocks--he's very skilled at both, possessing a sort of eidetic memory--makes a sketch of Julian, and shows it to his father when he visits. His father soon after discovers that this woman is with the Trench Rats...apparently as a spy. She's close to their sergeant. And now she knows the location of headquarters, information she's already given to the SS, who plan to make use of it.

Kolten's father is SS, so this information really shouldn't be too surprising to him. The thing is, Kolten's father is Capt. Otto Himmel...who's been secretly working to destroy the project from the inside. Dr. Kammler is his brother-in-law, and he attempted to have Himmel murdered so he could gain custody of his disabled son for use in his experiment. Himmel survived with the aid of the Diamond Network, a resistance group; they advised him on how to get back at Kammler, though Himmel's sole motivation all along has been to protect Kolten--he even joined the SS in a twisted effort to keep Kolten safe from them, assuming (incorrectly) that they wouldn't target the family of a member. Himmel nonetheless has been using info the Network gave him to sabotage Kammler's experiment; he hasn't been successful at ruining the original serum, but he's prevented Kammler from being able to further adapt it, causing the project to stall and the SS to mull over cutting funding. (Ironically, Himmel is in charge of overseeing the project, meaning he reports on it to his boss, who reports to the SS bigwigs who determine if the project gets funded.) The loss of Doomsday is a serious blow, as he was the only test subject who could legitimately be considered a full success. Himmel has figured out that he can't do this on his own--the Trench Rats are his best hope for the project to be dismantled. Therefore, learning that one of them is actually a spy for the SS alarms him. He studies her file, and on another visit overhears her saying "useless eaters"--a Nazi term for disabled persons who are viewed as contributing nothing to society, therefore are best "euthanized"--or, more accurately, executed. Himmel knows this term applies to his own son. And hearing Julian say it, he knows exactly what sort of person she really is, and she can't be allowed to remain free and alive if Kolten is to be protected.

He has no way to alert the Trench Rats to what's to come, as he isn't involved in the Waffen-SS plan to attack Trench Rats Headquarters, doesn't know what form the attack will take, when it'll be, anything. All he can do is wait helplessly until news of it comes back to them. The attack is devastating--about a third of the Rats are killed and headquarters is badly damaged--but it's not completely incapacitating, as two of the five companies manage to fight off a ground attack while a third escapes harm completely--only the two companies led by Camo and Drake don't fare well, bearing the brunt of the casualties. The sergeant and corporal are captured, as well...along with Anna Julian, perfectly playing her role as one of them. The Allgemeine-SS wants to send a representative to question the captives; Himmel requests this and is approved. Therefore he's the one Camo, Drake, and Julian are brought before to be interrogated. Himmel isn't interested in interrogation, though. He paces back and forth in front of the three (the other SS members behind him murmuring about Drake's Star of David necklace and theorizing what sort of test subject he might make), aiming his gun at each in turn and offering a few threatening comments before stopping in front of Drake and pointing the gun at him. Drake shuts his eyes. Then Himmel abruptly swings the gun to the side and shoots Julian in the forehead.

Needless to say this isn't at all what anyone, even the other SS officers, expected. Drake jerks aside in surprise while Camo jumps to his feet and charges Himmel, only to be promptly knocked down and restrained by the other officers; Drake is struck in the head and knocked out when he attempts to see to Julian, and the two are carried away. Himmel is left needing to explain his own actions to the Waffen-SS. All he can say is he had reason to believe Julian was funneling information about the SS back to the Trench Rats--she wasn't, but she's a traitor to the Allies so who's to say she wasn't double-crossing the SS as well? He's on the verge of being harshly reprimanded--or worse--when his boss, Maj. Ludolf Jäger, pulls strings to defend him, insisting that he's always been honest and thinks things through and has no reason to lie now. (Jäger has no idea about any of Himmel's subversive activities.) If he suspected Julian was ratting (no pun intended) on the SS, then he must have had good reason, and the Allgemeine-SS backs him up. Liam Morgan and the Waffen-SS are angry but back off, and Himmel narrowly averts personal disaster. (Privately, though, Jäger laments him "losing his head" and meddling in Waffen-SS affairs, saying, "I much prefer you behind a desk, pushing papers like you're paid to do!")

Camo and Drake are transported to Project Doomsday headquarters where Dr. Kammler is all too eager to try out his serum on them although their blood types are wrong; Camo is quickly relegated to prisoner of war status (Sonderhäftling, a special detainee status which often--though sometimes not, as in Teal's case--leads to better treatment), while Drake disappears into the project as a test subject, which pretty much means torture. Anna Julian's death is quickly brushed off to avoid embarrassment or retribution, and the Trench Rats go on believing that Teal was in fact the source of the leak. Himmel, meanwhile, starts suffering nightmares and insomnia over the incident: He doesn't want to be a murderer, he's even managed to avoid being directly involved in the SS's constant mass killing (though given their scope, he can't help but be indirectly involved, through his knowledge of SS activities and his oversight of Project Doomsday); despite his previous service in the military he's become a sort of closet pacifist, and having to do what he did to Julian, no matter how necessary he deemed it (to prevent her contributing information for future killings), wears on his conscience. An additional detail only adds to his distress: He recognizes Camo beyond his position in the Trench Rats--they've met before. Years ago, aiming their guns at each other across no man's land. Both of them fought in the Great War and happened to briefly encounter each other, long enough for Camo to wonder over how young Himmel looked ("He was barely more than a kid," he tells Drake earlier in the story, which is true--Himmel entered the army underaged, at 14, so was around 17 when he and Camo met) before attempting to shoot him, a shell exploding nearby being the only thing to prevent this. Camo was knocked on his back into the trench and briefly incapacitated, giving Himmel the chance to shoot him, yet he again hesitated, and again Camo attempted to take a shot--only for his rifle to jam. Again leaving him wide open to be killed. Yet again, Himmel didn't take the shot, and instead left as Camo tried drawing his pistol; by the time he climbed out of the trench, Himmel was gone. Camo has since recognized Himmel as well, from a brief run-in they had with each other earlier in the story; he recognizes the "barely more than a kid" who refused to kill him not only once, not twice, but three times. ("No idea what his reason was (for not taking the shot)," he tells Drake.) And Himmel recognizes the American soldier he couldn't bring himself to shoot, even while Camo kept trying to shoot him. He read Camo's file as well. Himmel is also a widower who despite constant pressure from the SS has refused to get remarried, and in a way he also "lost" his child, when he was forced to place Kolten in an institution and wasn't allowed to visit him for years, then lost custody of him to Project Doomsday. He feels that he understands Camo a little, and hates having to be the one to wound him all over again. But if this is what it takes to keep Kolten safe, then it's what he had to do.

Himmel does manage to set a couple of things (somewhat) right. He ensures that Camo is able to escape custody, even though Camo has no idea he's involved. And although he can't do much to prevent their torture, he intervenes several times to make sure both Drake and Teal remain alive long enough to be rescued (although Teal ends up committing suicide afterwards). He and Dr. Kammler are captured at the same time as the rescue, and Teal turns on Kammler and kills him for the horrific abuse he suffered; Himmel shocks the Trench Rats by laughing at the murder. Drake and Teal are taken to the Trench Rats' medical ward, which is where Teal stabs himself in the neck, in full view of Drake, who has to reassure the rattled surgeon, Burgundy, that he won't attempt the same. Cpl. Gold Rat (Drake's successor) and LC Mahogany Rat take Teal's body and go in search of a place to bury him. While searching they meet an unknown party who always wears a gas mask and German-style uniform, though seems to be allied with the resistance; he seems distressed after learning the identity of the body, but signs for them to follow him as he leads them to a suitable burial place. After a long complicated trek the three arrive at a waterfall and dig a grave nearby. When Gold remarks on just how far they had to walk, the gas-masked party says in a muffled voice, "He found this waterfall." The two Rats are puzzled how the unknown party is familiar with Teal until he removes the gas mask. Gold still has no idea who he is, but Mahogany recognizes Camo from his personnel file photo. He was warned by the Diamond Network, after his escape, that returning to Trench Rats' Headquarters could make it even more of a target yet again, and since the Rats had a new sergeant, he might serve a better purpose helping the resistance, which is what he's been up to since then. Learning of the rescue and of how project headquarters was taken over, he decides it's time to drop the act and return to Trench Rats HQ.

The other Rats were stunned by the return of Teal and Drake, both of whom they'd assumed were dead; they're stunned all over again when Camo returns as well. Himmel is still in their custody, and Camo demands to see him; although not in great shape, Drake accompanies him, knowing exactly why he wants to meet him. Camo demands an answer from Himmel regarding why he shot Cpl. Julian; Himmel only responds that he doesn't believe Camo really wants the truth. Infuriated, Camo attempts to shoot him, but is stopped at the last minute by Drake, who knocks his hand aside when Himmel blurts out the phrase, "Eight burning lamps!" Drake explains that a guard at project headquarters had told him this phrase without explaining what it meant or who sent it; Himmel using it shows that he colluded with the guard to help Drake, and it's made clear he was involved in ensuring Camo's escape as well. When Camo again demands an answer--why would he help them, yet kill Julian?--Himmel promises to tell them everything, but only if they take him to meet Kolten, who was rescued by the Trench Rats earlier while being transported by the Nazis. No one understands the request, but Himmel refuses to speak another word, so they decide it can't hurt, and they take him to the farmhouse where Kolten has been staying with an older couple. Upon meeting, Kolten asks Himmel if he'll be returning to stay with Dr. Kammler, or "Doctor-Father," as he was trained to refer to him. Himmel replies no, Kammler is gone for good and the project is over. Kolten then asks if this means he'll be going with Himmel, or "Hauptsturmführer-Father," instead. Not only did the Trench Rats have no idea that Kolten is Himmel's son, but Himmel wasn't aware Kolten knew this, either--he's been institutionalized since he was a toddler, and Himmel was prevented from having contact with him for years; even after he was granted access to him again (by showing up in his new SS uniform and threatening to be let in), he never mentioned being Kolten's father, as the doctor had told him it could confuse Kolten. Despite being slow, however, Kolten really isn't stupid, and he's known exactly who Himmel is all this time: Himmel was the only person to consistently show him love. Himmel replies that Kolten can't come with him as he's not sure what will happen to him now, but he'll return to him if/when he can, and he loves him. They embrace and Himmel then goes with the Trench Rats without protest.

Keeping his word, Himmel tells the Trench Rats everything he knows about Project Doomsday and his role in it, including how he worked to sabotage it following his rescue by the Diamond Network. He tried what he could to keep Kammler's captives alive, and to aid Camo's escape. He's also been aiding Lt. Ratdog and PFC Godfrey Klemper, two members of the Wehrmacht, who have secretly turned against the Nazis themselves. Camo is even more confused--again, why would he do everything he can to help the Allies, at the risk of being considered a traitor, yet then execute Anna Julian? Himmel reluctantly replies that she wasn't who they thought she was, and lays out all the details, including Teal's insistence, to the very end, that although he did some other awful things to try to avoid further torture, he never gave away the location of headquarters. Camo finds all of this nearly impossible to believe, but Himmel sticks to his story even when subjected to a hasty military trial shortly following the war, and several others--including Wolfstein and even Drake--testify that they never saw him harm others, even that he was trying to help them. (Additionally, Wolfstein confirms Julian's visit to project headquarters.) His killing of Anna Julian is problematic--still technically an extrajudicial execution--but they take the extenuating circumstances into consideration, including the likely possibility that she would have contributed further info that would have led to more deaths, such as those of the rest of the Trench Rats, and Kammler's test subjects--Drake, Wolfstein, Teal, Kolten, and others. He's acquitted of committing any war crimes, though found guilty of belonging to a criminal organization (the SS) and is stripped of his military titles and honors. He's allowed to leave, free; he decides to go to Kolten, who's been staying with a civilian couple since being liberated by the Trench Rats previously. On his way out he stops by Camo, who's been watching the proceedings, and murmurs, "I know you cared about her. I'm sorry you had to find out this way," and departs.

Camo and Himmel have a bit more of a story after this, though it takes Camo a while to work through his anger and guilt over the role he inadvertently played in the attack on HQ, and Himmel deals with some ghosts of his own. Anna Julian exits the storyline relatively early--toward the end of the first main story--but casts a long shadow behind her.

[Anna Julian 2022 [‎Friday, ‎August ‎12, ‎2022, ‏‎4:00:09 AM]]

[Anna Julian 2022 2 [‎Friday, ‎August ‎12, ‎2022, ‏‎4:00:19 AM]]

[Anna Julian 2022 3 [‎Friday, ‎August ‎12, ‎2022, ‏‎4:00:29 AM]]

[Anna Julian 2022 4 [‎Friday, ‎August ‎12, ‎2022, ‏‎4:00:38 AM]]

#artists on tumblr #ibisPaint x #SketchDaily #original characters

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precuredaily · 7 years ago

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Precure Day 730 (v1)

Episode: HUGtto! Precure 22 - “A song of love for two! Twin Love Guitar!” Date watched: 8 July 2018 Original air date: 1 July 2018 Screenshots: https://imgur.com/a/kfRvK0g

the crossover nobody expected

Hello no you’re not going crazy, I did skip almost 700 days. I mentioned on the status blog that I’d review HUG 22 early specially because it features the FW duo so here we are.

A note about names: after some research I’ve elected to use Ruru and Emiru instead of Lulu and Emile, so if you wonder why I’m writing Ruru when the captions say Lulu, suffice to say I have my reasons.

Here’s the setup, since I won’t actually review the episode this continues on from for another 2 years: in HUGtto! 21, Emiru and Ruru were out at the park, playing guitar when Papple attacked. At one point, Cure Amour (Ruru) is trying to save Emiru’s guitar from being trampled but the Oshimaida stomps down on her. Cure Macherie (Emiru) yells at her to get out of the way, and ultimately jumps in to push her out of danger. Unfortunately her guitar gets stomped and breaks in two. After the main trio swoops in and defeats the monster with Yell For You, Ruru apologizes to Emiru for her destroyed guitar. Emiru replies that it’s okay as long as Ruru is alright and tells her not to worry, and then turns to Yell and states that if they had Melody Swords then this wouldn’t have happened, so Yell should hand hers over. Yell, taken aback by this, tells her that these wands are theirs so Emiru turns to Harry and demands a Melody Sword. Harry brushes it off with a “don’t ask me” kind of response and then Hugtan starts glowing, opens up a portal in the sky, and out fall Cure Black and Cure White. Roll credits.

Also we got this awesome end card.

HUG 22 picks up right where 21 left off. Emiru assumes Black and White are there to deliver her Melody Sword, but they’re just confused. After figuring out who everybody is, and concluding that there are other Precures out there (All Stars confirmed non-canon), they all head back to Harry’s store to regroup. Emiru and Ruru get in an argument over Emiru’s feelings about the loss of her guitar and Nagisa and Honoka give them advice, saying it’s okay for friends to fight sometimes and they certainly have *flashbacks to FW08*. Ruru can’t understand why Emiru is saying it’s alright that her guitar is broken considering how much she loves music, and Emiru doesn’t want to have to explain to her that she cares more about Ruru than a guitar. It’s not as deep as the fundamental difference in personality Nagisa and Honoka experienced but it’s something.

After the pep talks from their predecessors, Emiru and Ruru set about making gifts for each other. Emiru makes matching charm bracelets, similar to the one Hana, Saaya, and Homare wear but with red and purple heart links instead of pink, blue, and yellow.

BRIEF ASIDE: I feel like this charm bracelet maker comes up every few seasons. Is it an actual toy Bandai sells? Is it rebranded for each show or what? I need to look into this, and anybody with more info please chime in.

Meanwhile Ruru sets about making a pair of new guitars for Emiru and herself, with Saaya and Honoka helping. There’s a humorous moment where Honoka remarks that it’s easy to forget Ruru is an android..... while Ruru is cutting into sheet metal with her finger. As one does.

The next day (I think?) Emiru and Ruru meet up at a dock with everybody else looking on. They talk out their feelings and give each other their gifts, with Emiru explaining that she can replace a guitar but she could never replace Ruru or the friendship they’ve developed. Hana says it best:

Meanwhile at Criasu Corp, Papple is feeling like a failure because she can’t seem to eke a win against the Precures and Gelos is subtly putting pressure on her. She goes up to the room of her mysterious lover who is most definitely not the president of the company and the strange man Hana has bumped into a few times, but she sees Gelos in his room with him. Feeling betrayed and heartbroken, Papple flees the scene and runs to the roof of a building. Telling herself that if he loves her he’ll come stop her, she summons a bunch of negative energy and..... STABS HERSELF IN THE CHEST.

She becomes an Oshimaida and starts terrorizing the nearby Precures. The Hug gang all transforms and tries to fight her but she lays them all out, so Black and White enter the fray and they single.... or I guess doublehandedly give Papple the smackdown. She cries out, and Ruru recognizes that her former employer is inside of there. Cure Amour and Cure Macherie together vow to try to help Papple from the inside. Cheered on by Black, White, Yell, Ange, and Etoile, the duo dive into the monster’s soul...... right through her cleavage.

You can’t make this up.

Inside they find Papple crying her eyes out from heartbreak. Putting aside her personal feelings, Macherie gives her a pep talk with Amour’s help and they tell her that they will protect her love at all costs. This calms her down, and the duo emerges. Suddenly they receive two new Mirai Crystals and new weapons: the Twin Love Guitars, as a reward for their act of love. They perform their new finishing attack, Twin Love Rock Beat, which involves them strumming a tune on the guitars (despite the strings being like.... 6 inches long. I know it’s a toy and it’s magic but that is not how instruments work!) before holding them like guns and firing hearts at the Oshimaida to purify it.

The dust settles and the original duo congratulates the newest duo for a job well done, saying they make a great team. Hugtan babbles and glows and a portal opens up in the sky again as Nagisa and Honoka begin to levitate. Waving their goodbyes, they disappear back to their own world. After they’re gone, Harry asks Hugtan how she did it, to which she responds with more baby babble. I don’t know what they expected. Homare freaks out over how cute she is, and Emiru and Ruru observe that with their new bracelets they now match. We close on this image.

HUGtto! 22 was a good episode. An unexpected but welcome return by the original cures, and I do mean unexpected because to my knowledge Toei did not say ANYTHING about this prior to the broadcast of ep 21, so when Black and White fell out of the sky it was a big WTF moment. It was an important development episode for Ruru and Emiru, and while Nagisa and Honoka were prominent in mentoring them they never overshadowed them. There was a part in the fight where Black and White were kicking much more ass than the entire Hug team were able to, but ultimately it was Macherie and Amour’s ability to see beyond the surface and address Papple’s heartbreak that saved the day, and that’s admirable. Even though I’m currently still working my way back through Max Heart, it was nice to be able to get an entirely new adventure with some of my favorite characters, and see them interact with the newest team in a significant way (those end-of-series cameos we’ve gotten the last few years leave a lot to be desired). I like how they were able to relate the conflict of this episode to a similar one that Nagisa and Honoka faced back in 2004. The animation of the episode was great, this might be the smoothest the FW characters have ever been portrayed outside of the movies, and while there was some minor deviation from their original art style to suit the HUGtto art, it wasn’t drastic. I’m having trouble even pinpointing what it is, maybe their a little less squished, it’s hard to say. My only nitpick would be that Yukana and Honna Yoko sounded a bit.... off in this, but y’know it’s been 15 years and all that, their voices have probably changed. I may simply not have noticed it in All Stars films because it was gradual, but since I’m actively watching Max Heart right now I picked up on it more. It’s a very minor criticism and it doesn’t detract from a fantastic episode. Look forward to my v2 review in a couple years, if I manage to keep this project up for that long, haha.

PINK PRECURE CATCHPHRASE COUNT: 2 MECHOKKU PINK PRECURE CATCHPHRASE COUNT: 3 ARIENAI

#Precure #Pretty Cure #HUGtto! Precure #HUGPC22 #PCD730

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francesannartist · 7 years ago

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Taking Research on the Road

This has been an enlightening, sometimes humiliating and humbling experience. What with the tec, the flow and getting the preparation right. It has been a busy summer since teaching duties finished. Wheelie suitcase at the ready, USB stick in hand I marched forth to meet the tide of conference season.

Weeks and weeks of finely honing my abstract and sending it out willy-nilly to all kinds of conferences and ‘call for abstracts’ call outs I was in a whirlwind of expectation and excitement. As the time grew closer the nerves built up. I sand in front of a class every day, standing up is what I do, and I really love teaching, formal lectures and passing on what I know. In addition to this standing up I also play in an Irish band and of course we are on stage front and centre standing up in front of crowds – entertaining. And one more this I dance in an amateur dance troupe, Indian and Persian dancing. So I do a lot of being at the front, speaking, playing and dancing. But the conference paper is a new thing for me and a nervy one.

Get Brother Technology on your side (load up the pres in the coffee break).

There are so many elements to think about. Brother technology, he is a mischievous one. The kind of questions I need to know a sensible answer to are as follows:-, is it on a USB stick? Is it on the desk top? Have you got the correct wire? Did you bring your own lap top? Just when you think it’s going to be ok, the programme is too old, the version I have saved my presentation is not compatible with the programme on the computer, the cable doesn’t fit, the microphone konks out, the bright heatwave sun overheats the projector. Luckily these didn’t happen all to me or all at the same time.

Getting in the flow.

What do I mean by that? I mean saying what I have to say, remembering all the right words and phrases so carefully researched and gathered together. My first conference – very first one ever in a Northern University, Brother Tech was not kind, being last mean I had plenty of time to work out who in the room could fix it and have a word with them before my presentation. They very kindly got the programme to work after only a small hitch. The room, full of hungry post grad students and professors, the last presentation before lunch, it looked like a hard crowd to please. I had my script but being dyslexic a script is more of a hindrance than a help and losing my place and trying to find it again is not the best. My style can be way ‘off piste’ if I’m not careful. I can spend many a regretful hour dissecting the moment “why did I say that…”, “why did I say it in that way with that inflection…”. However these are lessons to learn for the next time.

Be Prepared -practice.

Here we were in London for my next presentation of the summer. I had re tweaked the presentation, but it had taken me so long I had not the time to practice it (only a few days between the last one). I was happier with the order and had taken the brave (or foolhardy) decision to dump the script. After all I am used to standing for 3 hours playing the cannon of Irish favourites. At least 50 or more tunes on the fiddle - no music and drastic key changes moments before the performance, all by ear, no script. What was this a 15 minute talk, should be no problem. But wait, oh yes I’ve been playing Irish music since I was 11. I have the tunes but more importantly the muscle memory of the fingering shapes. The moves are not just in my brain, they are in my hand – I don’t even have to think about it, it flows. This presentation is a whole new concept and new neurological path has been walked in my brain and it is slow steps at first, awkward and without finesse or style. In the presentation I have a massive coughing fit mid flow and my nose runs and my eyes water and I feel a total idiot but carried on till the end. Lesson learnt – take a bottle of water up and a tissue, for all eventualities. Apart from the coughing it was a better presentation than the first one.

The third presentation a Midlands University very regal building, everything was very well done here with a practices and organized hand, vast quantities of student ambassadors and team members abounded to direct and guide and fix stuff. Brother technology was on his best behaviour and kit was of a hugely high standard and new and worked. The presentation had to be 20 minutes and so I had re written and rejigged the order and flow of the slides and what I would say to each one, - no scrip. It is best for me. It went amazingly well, I was very very pleased with it and had good feedback.

Never too late to have a last check.

Last one in this marathon of conferences. An Oxbridge college. Very awe inspiring, the surrounding s were like a stage set, all quadrangles and spires and leafy corners and ancient taverns. Staying in student halls – what a luxury, participants scared each other with creepy ghost stories through the Gothic revival cloisters. Despite the lofty surroundings the conference was collegiate and supportive. My talk at this conference was for the last time very slightly reworked, just thinking about the past 3 papers and what did not flow as well as it could and just doing that final bit of adjusting. A really good paper, tec was fine, receptive audience, lots of good questions which could have gone on longer. Fist pump the air, yay last one done and dusted, and I was happy with it.

All in all I have learned so much. About how I perform under pressure, about the honestly weird face I pull when I talking. About crafting an abstract and getting it in on time. Fine tuning and ruthlessly editing the presentation, making it relevant to each different conference and time constraint. Being comfy yet elegant. Being hydrated and having water. Don’t worry about the hiccoughs, just keep going till the end, everyone knows what its like to present and feel the nerves and they don’t mind a little bit of whoops a daisy – up to a point. I’m incredibly grateful to the ETF SUNCETT for sponsoring my attendance at some of these conferences. University of Sunderland customised MPhil in education. And to Leeds Arts University for allowing me to participate and supporting me in my studies and the conferences. It takes a village to bring up a child. And equally I think it takes the collegiality of universities and lecturers to bring on the next wave of research students, who will become the next teachers, practitioners, professors, policy makers, difference makers in education.

https://talkingaboutartmphil.blogspot.com/2018/07/taking-research-on-road-this-has-been.html

#taking research on the road #preparing #giving a paper #brother technology

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dustedmagazine · 7 years ago

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Listening Post: The Fall Singles Box Set

Over nearly four decades, 32 studio albums, around a dozen labels and a dizzying array of line-ups, the Fall has been a source of endless fascination, amusement, irritation, astonishment and enjoyment to a healthy minority of Dusted writers. Centered around the irascible,unpredictable, absolutely inimitable Mark E. Smith, the Fall has been churning out singles since most of us started buying them, and, unlike other youthful obsessions, continues to do so, right up to the current moment. So, when we heard that Cherry Red was putting out a massive seven-disc, 117-track singles collection, we were intrigued. We were also a little daunted. We decided to listen to it together, or at least at the same time, as much as we could, and talk about it in this listening post. As usual, some of us were long-time fans, others were new to the Fall and a couple were, shall we say, not convinced. Contributors included Jennifer Kelly, Bill Meyer, Justin Cober-Lake, Ben Donnelly, Ian Mathers, Mason Jones, Michael Rosenstein and Marc Medwin.

Jennifer Kelly: Hey, so I thought I'd kick this thing off book club style with some discussion questions -- though of course, as in any book club, you are free to ignore the questions and talk about other stuff as long as you don't get too loaded on white wine.

So how are we feeling about the size and scope of the box set? I think for the vast majority of people it will seem like a LOT of Fall, but a couple of die-hards in my circle are mad because things are missing. (One of them owns NINE separate versions of "Hit the North," just to give you an idea of the scope of the thing.)

The first two discs are, in my view, a pretty superb greatest hits collection (with some caveats because some of their great songs weren't A sides or even singles). I knew most of this stuff already, but had never heard the first two ("Bingo Master's Break Out" and "It's the New Thing") and a couple of the others. I guess I'd vote for "Cruisers Creek" as my favorite of the old favorites, how about you guys?

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I'm also struck by how great the Brix years were. How much impact do we think band members besides MES had on the music, and which were the most important?

Bill Meyer: These are excellent questions and I will get to some of them in the next couple days. “Bingo Masters Breakout” is a singalong song in my house, my wife has been fond of that one since we first heard it c. 1983.

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Crain Scanlon's rhythm guitar and Steve Hanley's bass kept the Fall honest through some pretty grim production decisions in the mid1990s. Hell, Scanlon's hacked up guitar — which was the most battered thing I've seen on stage except for Terrie Ex's guitar — was a totem of humility. It was a sad day when Scanlon figured out how to play anonymous, competent lead guitar.

Another notion to consider - Over the evolution of the Fall, there have been hard reactions AGAINST the influence of group members. I think that Brix was an antidote to the influence of Marc Riley. The late 1990s resurgence was a response to the departure of Scanlon and Hanley. And the relative anonymity of early 2000s bands was, I think, all about Smith not letting a band have too much ownership of the sound.

I realize I'm talking about the Fall, not the singles set, but I'll get to that soon

Justin Cober-Lake: Speaking as a casual fan with just a few scattered albums, the size and scope of this box are intimidating and a little perplexing. The Fall have always been prolific and, especially with the lineup changes, it's hard to keep up with them in any sort of knowledgeable way unless you're committed. Getting this many tracks at once is overwhelming. That said, why complain about too much music. This box isn't meant for me (I'd be well served by a two-disc set with a quality essay in the liner notes). But I imagine it's pretty great for the people it's for, unless they have most of this material already.

The ideal listener for this set would be someone who knew just enough about the Fall to decide they wanted to jump in all the way, but didn't want to pick up old albums willy-nilly. What you need is here, covering about 25 years of music. Getting through it all in a way that gets me a better understanding of the band has been a challenge; the ability to listen to lots of Fall without repeating stuff has been a treat. I haven't found my era, my lineup or my 45-minute mix, and I doubt that I will, but that says as much about me as it does about the set.

Bill Meyer: Yeah, this thing is immense. I've been on board the Fall wagon since 1981, and it's still kind of overwhelming, but that is because it is just so big. The Fall has used the single format intensively since about 1978, that's a whole lot of singles. And because they have been around so long, your mileage is likely to vary drastically according to the era.

Jennifer Kelly: And I've run into a couple of people who find this set entirely insufficient.

Hard core Fall people are a special breed.

Justin Cober-Lake: This is maybe starting to shift away from the music, but from a collecting/curating (and marketing) point of view, would this material have benefited from getting, say, three separate boxes, each larger than 1/3 of this one, to get in those various mixes? Would that benefit fans or the sets to be more complete and in chunks, or would that have just served a tiny handful of fans with no real audio benefit. As fun as demos and properly alternate versions are, I've realized I'm seldom interested in hearing the radio edit that's exactly the same but missing three seconds at the end, even for my favorite acts. If this is a set specifically targeting hardcore fans, maybe it's an error not to be truly complete, even if that would have many restructuring how the material was compiled.

Bill Meyer: We definitely want to balance the "why, I was listening to this when I still had my first set of adult teeth!" opinions with some fresh reactions.

Jennifer Kelly: How many sets of teeth have you gone through, Bill?

Ben Donnelly: Mark E Smith has gone through one, at least.

Bill Meyer: That's between me and my dentist. But I did have a conversation recently with a guitarist who has had records on Homestead, Thrill Jockey, and other labels who shared that they are on their second round of implants. And one thing I wrote about in an earlier Fall review - maybe the Peel Sessions box that I covered for Dusted? - is thinking that I heard Smith take advantage of the looseness of the fit of his plate to get a certain kind of slur.

He had enough left, at least until this past year, to hang his plate on. I gather that the health problems that led to the cancellation of American dates this summer and Euro/UK dates this fall started with a tooth removal that led straight into respiratory problems, which are still keeping him off the stage as of November 2017.

Jennifer Kelly: The last few records have definitely upped the spittle factor.

Bill Meyer: Very true.

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Justin Cober-Lake: Maybe as a way to invite new listeners in and to orient our readers, how would some of you more experienced Fall fans recommend approaching this breadth of music? A quick survey of a few tracks of each disc, trying to cover various eras? Put the whole thing on shuffle? Dedicate a few dozen hours to watching the group move through its decades?

Jennifer Kelly: The first two discs are all the A-sides, so that's a pretty good survey of the best and most listened-to material the band's done.

I would pick one or two that you like (or hate) and talk about why.

Bill Meyer: Disc three is A-sides too, beginning in about 1999. I've particularly appreciated it because I stopped getting Fall 7"s a little before the start of disc three, so there are songs or at least mixes that I've never heard. "Theme From Sparta F.C. #2" turns an already punchy song into a proud, rocking anthem. I might never feel that righteous about a football club, but when this song is on I want to.

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The clock restarts with disc four, tracing the history with b-sides. I haven't really digested the more recent stuff, but disc four has songs that stand among their very best. "I'm Into C.B." is masterpiece of building tension with a rumbling groove, shards of guitar, and untouchable lyric about the causes and consequences of mundane obsession. In more recent decades Smith's let himself get away with incomprehensible bluster, but back in the early 80s he was a potent and economical lyricist.

Per Justin's question, I think that there's no perfect way to collect this music, because the perfect form is the original single. So forget about perfection; the sequence of discs one-three makes unassailable sense and charts the band's progress over time quite handily. It's an incomplete story because some of the Fall's greatest songs are pretty long, and some of their albums benefit perversely from fucked-up antics that don't make it onto a-sides very often (although you'll definitely get the idea of what I'm talking about from "Distilled Mug Art (mix 15)."

Ben Donnelly: My hints for cracking The Fall, because they are a bowl of nuts with hard shells and lots of bitter pith that requires some work to crack and enjoy.

Dive in anywhere. The continuities to their sound — twangy garage riffs, glib synthesizer textures — make shuffling through their catalog less jarring than other bands that have passed through these decades. As Justin observes, the material can be scattered, intimidating and perplexing, so popping them out like bingo balls isn't going to violate the intent. One of the cliches about the band that holds up, stated by John Peel: "They are always different; they are always the same."

The lyrics may seem improvised and stream-of-consciousness, but Mark E Smith is adamant about the work he puts into them. The longer you inhabit his world of language, the more the language starts to click. Here's the lyrics for all the singles, as best as fans could transcribe them: http://thefall.org/discography/singles.html

Wire, the other long-running and perpetually creative art-punk band, deconstructs rock — creating mannerist investigations, commenting on commentary. There's a temptation to draw parallels. But The Fall is not a meta-rock band. They are not deconstructing rock, even if they frequently sound like they're coming apart at the seams. They're just a rock band, dedicated to singles alternating with albums, frequent cover versions of old pop, and the commitment to a line up of guitar, bass, drums and keys. Albums have hooky numbers, experimental digressions, and winding epics, like very mangled versions of Sgt. Pepper's, White Light/White Heat or Station to Station.

One of the other cliches about the band, stated by Mark E Smith, is "If it's me and yer granny on bongos, it's The Fall." Which implies it's all about MES, but collaboration is key to how he's kept the operation running. I don't think many of the dozens of Fall members would describe him as a generous collaborator exactly, but his method of creation depends on others. You never get unadulterated Mark E Smith. There's always admixture.

Eric McDowell: As an uninitiated Fall listener, it's pretty great to find myself privy to this discussion. I especially appreciate the permission to simply start listening without overthinking it, since my obsessive completism has definitely had me trapped between wanting to hear the whole Fall discography in order and feeling completely overwhelmed at the prospect of undertaking that project.

To be fair, caving to compulsion, I did start with disc one. So I can only speak to a small part of the collection so far. But what I had somehow underestimated was how damn fun this stuff would be to listen to. Maybe it has more to do with letting go of my usual habits — or the fact that this is a set of singles, without the regulated ups and downs of album arrangement — but to my ears, it's just good listening. Gonna try to keep the baggage at bay while I move on to disc two...

Bill Meyer: The Fall gained respect with good reason; they had great hooks, a bizarrely compelling singer, and a primitive groove that just would not quit from the get go. No need to lug baggage when you can just pick up on the songs.

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Mason Jones: I've never been a particularly big fan of the Fall despite appreciating the band's accomplishments. The approach has been remarkably consistent despite the changes, as others have mentioned, but somehow that hasn't resulted in the band sounding dated, which almost seems like an impossibility. Perhaps the primitivism that Bill mentions is partly responsible: when you start from a compellingly simple (yet so hard to get right) premise, layer on MES's uniqueness, and just run with it, there's no place to go except straight ahead. Yet a lot of bands have tried the idea of "don't mess with a good thing" and wound up left behind as times change. It doesn't feel like that's happened to the Fall, which is a bit mysterious. With all of these singles laid out now, perhaps their path will show itself, but I'm not so sure...

Justin Cober-Lake: Ben's points are very helpful here, and I think the Peel quote is spot-on. Fans and reviewers tend to talk in terms of the changes between albums or lineups, but it's that continuity of central focus that stands out. Listening to everything in order as presented by the box does start to highlight the overarching view. Going from one era of the Fall to another is far less jarring (or even noticeable) than going from, say, The Clash to Sandinista to Combat Rock. The MES Granny Bongos album isn't exactly Elvis Costello genre experimentation (and that's neither criticism nor praise).

May as another way to get into things (and if this is derailing or tangential, feel free to delete/ignore and move on), imagine someone came to you and said, "So, the Fall is your favorite band? What should I listen to to understand why?" Is something like, "the first disc of this set" a reasonable answer? Is this a band that fans fell for instantly or did it take a lengthy of singles and albums for something to cohere?

To be fair, anyone would answer similar questions with, "To get [my favorite band], you need to hear these songs, but don't forget how to this entire album fits in, and you only see what's really going on if you see the late stuff over here...." Some bands can be reasonably well captured by a single-disc "best of". Would that approach reveal the essentials of the Fall?

Jennifer Kelly: I think the first disc is a reasonable answer. However, as Bill mentioned, these are singles and as a result, at least for the Fall, relatively tight, cohesive statements. You don't get into the squirrelly bits as much (though they're there), and there are none of the long hallucinatory cuts that are also very representative of this band. (For an example of this, I'd start with "Hip Priest.")

The things I like about the Fall, more or less in order.

The tight, rhythmic underpinning. Whatever granny was playing on her bongos really moves, bass is almost always awesome, too.

The weird way of incorporating whatever's passing through musically -- punk, post-punk, pop, electro-clash, dance, rockabilly, literally anything, into an aesthetic that is completely recognizable as the Fall.

And in a similar sense, the lyrics, which weave so many cultural references in that listening to these discs is like an oral history, at least of the silly parts of the last 30 or 40 years.

M.E.S.'s spectacular disdain, his ornery-ness, his willingness to bite the hand that feeds him, see "500 Bottle of Wine"

I find myself laughing out loud about once every three tracks, because the Fall is just such a pisser, willing to say and play any god-damn thing, but completely what it is, regardless.

Justin Cober-Lake: Just after I read this note, I laughed at "Marquis Cha Cha," and then realized that's probably a great example of what I like in the Fall, or what I would like if dug deeper and was more familiar. The track has a surprising groove to it, just hinting at a relevant globalism. Smith has some wry lyrics, and at least one moment that's genuinely funny ("You educated kids know what you're on about / You've been oppressed for years"), all of which disguises the song's disturbing elements. It feels particularly Fall-y to me, or at least does the things the Fall does that Jenny describes as the four things she likes about them.

Ben Donnelly: I was going to suggest the one with "Hip Priest" as well, Hex Enduction Hour, in part because they way "Hip Priest" was worked into the end of Silence of the Lambs makes it slightly familiar to most people, making it an example of the oddest aspects of The Fall planted deep in popular culture. But there's a whole bunch of good answers here, and I was content for a long time with owning one album (Bend Sinister) and one singles compilation (458489 A Sides).

My favorite LPs would be Hex, This Nations Saving Grace, The Unutterable, The Real New Fall Album.

Ian Mathers: I haven't had time to get too much into this yet, but I do think the first 1 or 2 (or even 3, if you've got time and patience) discs make for a decent intro, although I might still direct budget conscious listeners to the two-disc 50,000 Fall Fans Can't Be Wrong: 39 Golden Greats compilation, which was the first time anything even approaching wide-ranging/definitive enough came out. But I honestly feel that, unlike most bands I like, nearly anything can be a good intro. To date myself a little, I read about the Fall long before I was able to find any of their work in stores (primitively enough, the only way I would have been able to hear them at the time). And even then, although I'd check every music store I went to for them, there wouldn't even be a title card for the Fall. Then one day one of those dodgy CD resellers that haunts university campuses showed up at my school with exactly one, battered, garish Fall CD in stock: 1992's Code: Selfish, represented here by the great political/dance-rock doggerel of "Free Range", track 13 of disc 2. It is not at all a terribly representative record for the band, but it's all I had to listen to and even though no other opening track of theirs sounds like a bunch of church bells tossed in a bin and chucked down the stairs (love you, "The Birmingham School of Business School") by the time music became more, err, accessible (and I moved to a place with better stores) I still felt prepared for the vast sprawl of their oeuvre. And now, in retrospect, I feel like I could have started from the grottiest, earliest singles here, or the bilious pomp of something like "Hip Priest", and been just as well prepared.

And by prepared I mean both that the Fall's work seems in some way to be holographic - any small chip off the ol' block somehow recapitulates the whole - and that I kind of knew I was going to love pretty much all of it. There are some dodgy/crappy Fall releases out there, but I'm still basically/theoretically on board, or at least would rather listen to that than many other outfits. This box represents a mammoth investment of time, but for me it pays you back immensely - not everyone needs (to take some semi-random examples) "I'm Into C.B.", "No Bulbs", "Blood Outta Stone", or "I Wake Up in the City" in their life but I feel richer for it.

To answer one of the questions Jenny asked earlier, probably my favourite of the old singles on those first discs is actually the first Fall song I ever heard and the only one I had the chance to hear before Code: Selfish, when I stumbled onto the video for "Hit the North" on TV.

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I just love that farty synth bass/horn sound, and all the screaming. Really! And this also ties into the question of collaboration, because as much as I've liked songs from across the length and breadth of their music plenty of the people in the "Hit the North" video (and a few others) make up the core of what I'm always going to (unfairly?) think of as the "real" or "true" Fall, not just MES (a singular figure, and more on that in a minute) but Brix, Steve Hanley, Craig Scanlon, and Paul Hanley. In some ways this idea is a mirage, in multiple senses; not only are there others who contributed to albums during this period (Marc Riley, Simons Rogers and Wolstencroft, Karl Burns, special shout out to Dave Bush, later of Elastica, for his work on my beloved Code: Selfish), and not only is is doubtful how long that group of people actually worked as a functional unit and not only is the current lineup (who all joined in 2006) the longest-serving stable incarnation, the fact still remains that in not just the music but the pictures and videos I was able to find as a younger person getting into the band they're who I think of as the Fall. The "granny on bongos" comment is absolutely true for better and worse, but one of Smith's undeniable talents is in putting together good bands (or else he's just obscenely lucky). Yes, with almost any other vocalist many of these songs would be worse off, and it's the alchemy between MES as a sui generis front man and the music that makes the Fall what they are, but often thinking about the band mostly begins and ends with the front.

With one already-oft-mentioned exception, I'm sure my favorite Fall LPs are pretty conventional within the world of Fall fans (no order):

Code: Selfish, Hex Enduction Hour (remove that pointless racial slur up top and this is basically perfect), The Wonderful and Frightening World Of... (the 16-track North American CD version with all the bonus tracks...), This Nation's Saving Grace ("Paint Work" might secretly be my favorite Fall song), and Bend Sinister.

As for MES: Here's someone who on the one hand is probably one of the best front man of his era/generation, often super compelling when singing. And on the other hand it's impossible not to notice that he seems deeply unpleasant, has been accused of and/or gotten in legal trouble for domestic abuse, bullying, racism, alcholism, assault, etc. and none of its really ever made very much headway (although with him ailing recently, if we are witnessing the end of the era I wonder what kind of dam is going to break in the wake of his passing, whenever that happens). I fell in love with the Fall, and heard album after album, long before I heard of anything worse from Smith than just eccentricities, and while I admit these things are a big part of why I don't think I'd buy a concert ticket or provide other direct financial support in the future, this is a case where I seem to be unwilling to ditch the work (as opposed to my inability to listen to Swans in recent years, my complete lack of interest in revisiting Louis CK's work, etc etc.). You can find recent interviews with, for example, Brix where she doesn't shy away from describing unacceptable, abusive behaviour by Smith to her and others, but she also seems to love the band and her work with the band and doesn't seem to want anyone to stop listening.

It's something I certainly wish wasn't true and something I won't defend, and it definitely has changed how and when I recommend the Fall to others, but ultimately aside from really blatant moments like wincing at "The Classical" it hasn't necessarily stopped me from listening myself.

Bill Meyer: Yeah, MES comes across as deeply unpleasant, and for that reason I have not so far read any of the Fall books. It's interesting to note that people he has mistreated come back and work with him again. Prime example - his ex-wife Brix re-joined the band in the mid-1990s. I saw them then and she wasn't just a hired hand, she brought more energy to the performance of what I consider some of their more problematic material than he did. Smith is like David Thomas, Lou Reed, Charles Mingus, and Miles Davis, to name a few other bandleaders who have treated their collaborators terribly only to have those people come back and play with them again, in this respect: they can know they are being treated badly, and feel very bad about it, but also know that they are part of something singular and great. They come back to be part of that thing, and they make it great by participating. When things fall out of sync (the first album after Marc Riley left, the last album with Brix before the divorce, the last records with Scanlon/Hanley, Reformation post-TLC) you get records that are weaker than the songs that make them up.

Michael Rosenstein: I am just slightly scratching the surface here and find it all disorienting in so many ways. It is just not the way I am used to listening to music and not the music I am used to listening to. Sure I've heard about the Fall, but never, as far as I can remember, consciously listened to anything of theirs. My thoughts are based on a super-cursory listen which is really about all this musters for me. That is absolutely all about me and my musical tastes and not at all about the music. The first disc seems to stick the most with me, but really only because it sounds like what I expected them to sound like. It sounds very much stuck in the late 70s early 80s post-punk music that I have a passing familiarity with (The Slits, Pop Group/Rip Rig and Panic, Gang of Four ("Peel Sessions" or "Entertainment",...) though certainly messier than Wire. It hits all the tropes I would expect and does so with a shambolic energy that is passingly engaging. But by the time they are hitting the late 80s, they've lost me altogether. (The old man in me is starting to think "this all kind of sounds the same") and spot checking the third disc is a bit of a slog.

It has made me think about how singles functioned in the late 1970s/1980s in particular, something that just wasn't on my radar because of what I was listening to at the time. I've been talking to friends who were grabbing these as they came out, searching out singles because that was the only way to get a glimpse of this kind of stuff in the US. That notion of the hard search for music being leaked out in small doses is SO different than how people listen now.

In the end, this is an intriguing listening exercise for me but nothing jumps out enough to entice me to really dig in more deeply. I am absolutely not the audience for this box, and really wouldn't even be the audience for a single-CD very, very, very best of comp. Now back to looking out my window watching the snow and digging very deeply in to John Cage's "Winter Music" which is totally my jam.

Jennifer Kelly: I think it's important that we are able to disagree civilly -- and I do disagree with almost everything in your post -- and I imagine we have some readers who do not like the Fall.

The main risk is that MES reads your post and incorporates it into some sort of a song later, a la "Portugal."

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Mason Jones: I agree, I think if we can dig into more detail, this could be a valuable and interesting inclusion. I think I agree with some of your thoughts, and not others, since I'm not a Fall fan but do enjoy parts of the catalog.

Bill Meyer: I certainly appreciate the inclusion of non-partisan and skeptical perspectives. The point about how people received music in the heyday of indie singles vs how they access music now - and also how the potential consumers of 7 CD archival boxes relate to other dominant modes of music consumption- that's best discussed when I am not typing with a thumb. Maybe later or maybe you can all take it past me.

Michael Rosenstein: I’d be curious to understand the parts you disagree with. My comments are so casually subjective based on a cursory listen to music totally outside my wheelhouse. My guess is that any “disagreement” would be rooted in the fact that I did some lazy listening (which I completely agree with.)

Jennifer Kelly: Well for instance, comparing the Fall to the Slits. The two bands sound completely different. There's a lot of reggae in the Slits, for instance, and next to none in the Fall.

Or the Pop Group, again, completely different thing, lots more chaotic and less rhythmic.

Gang of Four, okay, maybe at the most superficial level, though if you listen to this stuff seriously that would be like saying that blue is sort of like green. To me, they're both primary colors. (Ed note: Jennifer Kelly is apparently not aware that green is NOT a primary color.)

Also yes, the Fall did seem to get looser and more distended as the years went on, but I would never attach the word "shambolic" to something as boxed in and paranoiac and just mental as later fall. Shambolic, to me, means trippy and open-ended and accepting of whatever the path leads to, which is not a quality I would associate with the Fall at all.

Michael Rosenstein: Got it. Yeah. That was incredibly lazy on my part and has everything to do my admittedly limited listening in this area. It is exactly the same as someone with minimal exposure to free jazz piano playing saying that some pianist reminds them of Cecil Taylor and Sun Ra (who have almost nothing, stylistically to do with each other). When I say that this is what I was expecting to hear, I only meant that it fit in the tiny little box that I have for that kind of listening.

These are the concerns I have in having my comments included other than really saying that I took a listen, wasn't won over, and went back to my wheelhouse. Which really just proves my narrow listening habits more than anything else.

Bill Meyer: But the Fall did record in the same or similarly appointed studios, worked with similar gear. Part of the sound we associated with late 70s post-punk has to do with gear and studio technique (or lack there-of), and the early Fall stuff shares the same cheap amps, cheap guitars, and cardboard-y drum sounds as a lot of other inexpensively recorded post-punk. What do you think, Michael, are you hearing that sound rather than genre elements?

Michael Rosenstein: Thanks Bill - That gets to where I was going a lot more clearly. When I said:

The first disc seems to stick the most with me, but really only because it sounds like what I expected them to sound like. It sounds very much stuck in the late 1970s early 1980s post-punk music that I have a passing familiarity with

I was talking much less about stylistic synergies than about an overall sound. This for me is more about setting context than it is about any notion of "this sounds like that." There is a boomy quality and evenness of sonic field (with all of the instruments playing equally within the mix) that jumps out. While the way the groups operate are stylistically distinct, and the densities of sound are very different, listening to the way that the mix operates on something like Rip Rig and Panic's "Knee Deep In Shit" sets me up to hear "Roche Rumble."

I'll stick with this:

But by the time they are hitting the late 1980s, they've lost me altogether. (The old man in me is starting to think "this all kind of sounds the same") and spot checking the third disc is a bit of a slog.

Jenny, it is interesting to hear you talk about them getting "looser and more distended". In thinking it through, maybe a better response to the earlier stuff for me is that I hear a rawness in it that isn't quite there for me in the VERY limited spot checking of the later stuff.

Marc Medwin: OK, I was half thinking of not getting involved at all, OK, more than half, but a toe in the water:

I expected to hate this stuff. I'm only listening to disc 1 now. I'm smiling, grinning actually. For me, the band that comes to mind is the Adverts, maybe it's already been discussed and not really that close at all, I haven't read back through all of these posts yet. I find the keyboard hook on "It's the New Thing" absolutely irresistible!

Just a quick bit of context: So far, my favorite song by the Fall has been “Pat-Trip Dispenser,” which, once I get it in my head, I find myself singing all day long, growling it in the shower, I think the lyrics are pure earthy genius! From what I'm hearing now, I have a hell of a lot of catching up to do!!

youtube

Jennifer Kelly: I've hit the last two discs this week, which admittedly, are not as fun as the first three, but I've been mesmerized by "Hittite Man," lately, and in looking up the lyrics, found this pretty amazing site called The Annotated Fall. http://annotatedfall.doomby.com/

#the fall #listeningpost #dusted magazine #post-punk #singles #mark e. smith #jennifer kelly #bill meyer #justin cober-lake #ben donnelly #ian mathers #mason jones #michael rosenstein #marc medwin #cherry red

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violetsystems · 5 years ago

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#personal

My kitchen is my office for the next few weeks at least. It’s kind of been two stories for me. What happens outside in the real world and what really goes on in my personal life. Both are pretty much more of the same and hold their particular weight. I do sometimes feel trapped in the middle here alone with a particularly unique bundle of emotions. I live alone and have for a good decade. I’ve been unhappy with myself in the past. Maybe never admitted it. My environment around me seemed to reflect that. These days it’s not really about me or my environment. Chicago is about the best place to be trapped in this mess going on in the world. I’ve complained a lot how it always keeps tabs on you and never leaves you alone. These days it can be a little less so. It’s gotten to the point where I can’t really leave the house without something over my face. I don’t run with a bandana. You are supposed to wash the fabric after you wear it. Hanging a bandana out to dry isn’t really hard to do. The fact it’s been sitting on my wall for years is funny. I got it in San Francisco years ago on a trip from work. It’s an old toy shop in the Japanese section of town. I had gone with my boss at work. We both like anime. Years later we both still like anime. My job thankfully hasn’t changed all that much. I work maybe a little more productively. I’m in contact with people on video more than I ever was in person. It is a little grueling to wake up next to your office. I watched an all staff briefing from my porch patio. I’m gradually moving my garden in and out in the process. I have specific days where I leave the house for groceries. I usually do it over my lunch hour and never leave the neighborhood. I definitely have spent a lot less on certain things. The over all trend since New York has been focused on spending less money. Maybe I didn’t know how much toilet paper I used on a given week. But I do know days like today I don’t plan on leaving my property. It doesn’t feel as oppressive as it once did. There’s barely anybody out there to bother you. I went out to the west loop to go to Whole Foods when it opened yesterday. There was a line to get in as I was leaving. There was some normal guy wandering around the street with what looked like his belongings. I made a turn around a corner because I forgot to go to the bank and he was waiting for me outside. I kind of barked him off and he went away. But it really felt like he was out there evicted and wandering around with all his belongings. One of my friend’s roommates just up and bailed when this started. Lost their job and moved back home. While that kind of thing does cross my mind I worry a lot less in the short term. Although most of my job these days is delivering the same quality education to people online. People have their emotions about that. That’s not something I care to speak too much on. I can only say I’ve learned far more new skills at my job in the two weeks than I have in a year. And my resume is twenty years solid at this point. It’s just how I apply myself.

For the most part I apply myself alone. It’s been that way for years. But now it’s a particular fact I cannot avoid. I’m not unhappy alone. I’m on video with my coworkers during the week three or four times a day. I have to lead entire conversations and think up new ideas on the fly. I get a lot of appreciation from work for it. But my personal life has very little reward or recognition these days. I stay up with my goals. I work out now in the kitchen. There’s far more space and organization there because it’s my office away from home. My hair has grown back into a style. I feel healthy under the circumstances. But I also feel completely lost. Like I sacrificed my happiness and freedom for the greater good of something that doesn’t ever acknowledge I exist, breathe or hurt. I’m part of some invisible plan that I don’t even know my role in. So I just sit here and wait. And the circumstances get grimmer or more dark as they go by. I don’t have personal relationships to maintain on video. People barely even text me. People do text me. Just not about anything that has to do with my real emotions about anything. I’ve been sharing that here for years. My real friends read it. Process it. Understand what I am venting about. But this shadow world doesn’t translate into the real world. It’s the weirdest thing to realize that being transparent here week after week means nothing to a large population of people. They just see you on the outside how they want to see you. A cog in a wheel that relentlessly holds it down because that’s what you should do. Be a good person. Nobody checks to see how long I’ve been down here in the basement of reality doing plumbing work. How I’m simply just cheering myself on when in the back of my head I realize a grim truth. Nobody celebrated my birthday for the third year in a row other than my parents. I had to fly to New York again by myself. Now I can’t even do that. There is no escape for me. Quarantine is just a stark reminder of how it’s always been. And why it’s a little better these days than it was. Because I no longer have people questioning or challenging my position in society. Because there really isn’t much of a society left except the kindness of strangers holding it together. Everybody is locked in their emotions. Everybody can’t contain their fear and anger. It comes out at the worst times. It needs to come out. When you’ve had a space like mine for years, it comes out over coffee in the kitchen in the mornings. It doesn’t bubble up and boil down in crisis. To me this is all just another day. Another year. And a long gray time of loneliness that just keeps pushing on like a wheel of pain. With a little bit of contactless delivery to keep the work week moving along at a tolerable pace. If it were anywhere but Chicago right now I’d be alone in hell. Pretty much I’m just alone. More in limbo for the entire summer again hanging from that point in your life that screams loudly. “What the fuck am I doing wasting away another year again?”

The truth is I am not a waste. I know my value. I know what i do at my job. I know when it’s appreciated. When it’s not. When it’s not about me. And when it is. I know what billsI have to pay. I know when my rent is due. I’ve known all this for years. And people keep passing me by. Letting me rot. Now everybody is in the same boat and I’m just a mirage.. Still out there alone but burning brightly I guess. Brightly enough where I don’t want to get sick with a fever either. I can’t say somebody who runs distance as much as I do fears too much. But this crisis is a little more drastic. Part of me wearing a mask isn’t just for my own safety. If it sounds meta you don’t know how deeply my life has been drowned into the torture chamber. It’s painful to face. Yet another personal apocalypse. And yet there’s things that I would have never imagined. Delivering an American arts education over the Internet to mainland China. Being able to teach fashion technology no matter what the distance. It goes beyond my resume. Though being able to manage and supervise a staff from miles away is a great skill. What about maintaining our personal relationships across impossible distances? Some of us are learning to what extent. Some of us are focusing on a more personal relationship with ourselves. Some of us may be finding out we can’t stand being alone with ourselves. I’ve been there. I started looking at my environment around me. I make small changes. I make them regularly. I measure the progress. I’ve come very far these days. I made it there by myself. Isolated by my own choices from even more treacherous viral thinking. And I’m still here. Making things. Writing things. Feeling things on my own time. Is the time I spent valuable to anyone else? I don’t know. I feel like if people really valued me as a person they’d know just how hard it has been. They see just how deep I’ve stared into this darkness. How fearful I’ve been at times I’d be crushed and spat out. How I’d fear that people would forget I exist. That I matter. That I’ve done things too. That nobody ever remembers that I’m a human being with emotions that get pissed on daily. I’d be more afraid if I didn’t see this in myself. I see a lot of fear in the world. Contagious diseases are just the start. Life goes on. It has been going on. And life passes people by. I would wager ten years of my life just fucking blinked out of existence. It’s water under the bridge. I’m supposed to forget how it all made me feel. How bleak the past is. Focus on the future. What future is something I cannot see. That’s how it feels. To know you have to move forward with what you’ve been doing. With absolutely no validation but your own gut. What you believe is the right thing to do. That part is no mystery to people who really know me. And so I’m not too worried about the outcome. Just know that I’m safe and cranky as fuck. I need love just like anybody else. Self love is where you learn that. Self care is a hard thing to discover. So is your own value. Things of quality have no fear of time I guess. We’ll see how I feel about all that after my Standby Jury Summons. <3 Tim

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