theemergencymachete

[theemergencymachete]

You’re in their DM’s….I’m not because I have extreme social anxiety but I hit that like button often

[theemergencymachete]

There's an open pit in the middle of our office plan that drops down into a bunch of very sharp spikes that kill you instantly. This is bad. People keep falling in there and dying. Someone put a sign up, the other day, all bright yellow so you can't miss it, that says "Beware!!! Spikes!!!"

The office immediately split into two factions over it. One says that if anyone falls in the spike pit it's their own fault for being so stupid and not watching where they're walking, so we should remove the sign. The other says that the sign is an insult, there shouldn't be a spike pit in our office at all, and having the sign up like that is just normalising the existence of the spike pit, so we should remove the sign.

We ended up removing the sign. Probably for the better. Still... for a while there it looked like it might have worked...

[theemergencymachete]

[theemergencymachete]

college should be free so that the first time you go can just not count. that's just to test the waters. you should be able to be like "well that was weird! okay now this time for real"

[theemergencymachete]

oh ok

[theemergencymachete]

went to an art exhibition and the artist was drawing a self-portrait dressed up as a dog and i wish this was my job so fucking bad

[theemergencymachete]

this stupid baka life isn't going according to keikaku

[theemergencymachete]

not all character interpretations are valid some of you are sexist

[theemergencymachete]

Congratulations! Looks like you found yerself a gem. You can keep that gem for your collection, and try for the legeendary crown a’ wonder, or I can buy it from you if you like. Lemme seee what I can offer

[theemergencymachete]

one thing they don’t tell you about growing up is that there’s a high probability you’ll wake up one day and suddenly be a morning person against your own will

[theemergencymachete]

I hate to hand it to wheatley but imo one of the funniest moments in the portal games is “ah’m speakin’ in an ACCent that is beyond her range of HEARing”

the accent itself

the fact that he assumes that she can’t hear him based on nothing

glados has an american accent

the idea that she won’t notice the wall opening if she can’t hear him

the sheer annoyance in glados’s voice when she corrects wheatley

she calls him ‘metal ball’ despite very much knowing what a core is. is this a corephobic slur of some kind

[theemergencymachete]

[theemergencymachete]

no more gravy no more basting it is freedom we are tasting

[theemergencymachete]

Nonbinary people don’t have to use “they/them” to be worth respecting

[theemergencymachete]

*girl who wakes up at noon voice* how is it this late already

[theemergencymachete]

me giving my pet chihuahua two kisses: chimuahmuah

[theemergencymachete]