#I’ve been constructing a story around her. I love her. she’s my everything.

[aria-greenhoodie]

HEY DO YOU GUYS EVER THINK ABOUT HOW ABIGALE BLACKWING, A VERY INDEPENDENT INVENTRESS, SUDDENLY WENT AND MARRIED A RICH MAN (implied to be a Northwest) AFTER THE COLLAPSE OF THE ANTI-CIPHER SOCIETY? DO YOU EVER THINK MAYBE THAT MARRIAGE WAS OUT OF A DESPERATE NEED FOR SAFTEY FROM BEING INSTITUTIONALIZED? DO YOU EVER THINK MAYBE ABIGALE FEELS SHE TRADED AN ASYLUM FOR FREEDOM OVER HER LIFE? HOW SHE’S STILL TRAPPED IN A CAGE BUT IN A DIFFERENT WAY? DO YOU EVER THINK ABOUT THAT!? BECAUSE I DO!

Anyway uhhhh Click for Quality.

[cvntluver444]

i’m your girl - ellie williams

ellie 📸 creds - s9ession on pinterest (and tiktok)

ellie williams x reader, slight!abby x reader

₊* summary : after catching your girlfriend cheating on you, your best friend ellie offers a little more than some much needed quality time together.

₊* warnings : smut minors dni, language, cheating, dom!ellie 🤭 sub!reader, light spanking, abby and ellie tensionnnn, slight ellie x cat, reader uses she/her pronouns, intended lowercase, bad writing, not proof read. if i miss any please let me know!! 🤍

₊* a/n : EEEEK hi everyone! this is my FIRST EVER FIC! don’t be fooled though, i’ve been apart of this lovely community for years and have loved reading all of your lovely works!! i really wanted to try and give this a shot because im a hoe and i have some crazy thoughts that i think need to be shared (this one really isn’t crazy this is like the third thing i’ve written so we are going to ease into it 🫡)

anyways i am so excited to share my first fic! it would mean the world if you guys left some positive feedback or constructive criticism so i know how to grow!! i’m also looking for new friends since i don’t post on here so if you want to be friends hmu 😋 i love you all!! again i hope beauties enjoy!!

🇵🇸 as always, please keep spreading information and support for Palestine! 🇵🇸

▹ daily click

-ˋˏ ༻❁༺ ˎˊ-

walking back from a study sesh, your bubbly laugh fills the halls of dorm as your best friend her story of a disastrous hookup.

“oh my god, ellie. that would happen to you,” you huff out, trying hard to calm yourself down. ellie chuckles while smiling down at you. “i can’t believe cat said a different name!” you couldn’t stop you laughter as ellie explained the awkward interacting with cat. your laugh was her favorite sound in the whole world, which is why she always loved to tweak her stories just a bit. she knew just about everything about you, so of course she knew what made you come undone in a fit a laughter. so maybe cat didn’t actually say someone else’s name. maybe ellie said someone else’s name. maybe she said your name. but you don’t have to know that.

“yeah ya know” she shrugs a bit and pauses. “maybe she just isn’t right for me,” ellie shrugs nonchalantly. “anyways, is abby gonna be in the room?” ellie questions.

“yeah hope that’s okay with you, i didn’t tell her we were coming back so early so she will probably just be in our room and out somewhere,” you explain, as you reached for your dorm room keys. living with your girlfriend in the same dorm room would have some calling you a bit risky, but you never had any doubts with your relationship with abby. you’ve been together for a year now, you trusted her, she treated you good, and you were even kind of starting to picture your life together. however; that daydream becomes a distant afterthought as soon as you open the door of your dorm room. in front of you is your, now ex-girlfriend, naked and on top of none other than the infamous cat who ellie has talked your ear off about.

“what the fuck” you whisper out, your voice coming out raspy as your eyes quickly start swelling up with tears and your throat swells up. abby and cats giggles soon turn into gasps and their heads fly towards your direction. you feel ellie come to your side and put her arm on your back. “why don’t we just step outside quick, baby,” ellie sadly begs you, her voice full of sympathy, but also anger. how could anyone take advantage of such a beautiful girl. her gaze lands right on a worries looking abby who is rushing to put her clothes back on.

“baby no wait look please just give me a sec let me explain it’s not what it looks like,” abby rambles out a bullshit story but you can’t hear anything around you. your tears now rapidly falling.

“what- what- what the fu-fuck abby!” at this point, you can’t control any emotions. it’s impossible to try and stop any tears now. you’re defeated, hurt, and feeling betrayed. you quickly spew out a few choice words at the two girls rushing to get dressed, but slowly relax and fall into the tall body next to you. she gently grabs your arm and drags you out the door, whispering apologizes and begging for you to focus on her as you still throw some daggers at abby. finally clothed, abby forgets all about the girl she was just fingers deep in and rushes out the door towards you.

“hey hey hey please just wait please” abby calls your name as ellie continues to guide you towards her dorm. you can’t even look at her as you continue to cuddle into ellie, who’s arm is gently placed around your figure, shielding you from your panicking ex.

“just fuck off abby you’ve done enough give her some space” ellie turns to yell towards the blonde who’s still right on your tail.

“you can shut the fuck up and stay out of this williams” abby barks back. “this is between me and her, and the last time i checked, she wasn’t your girlfriend.” ellie’s hearts cracks a little at the sentence, wanting none other to call you hers.

“well after the way you just cheated on her, i don’t think she will be yours very soon either,” ellie smirks. abby and ellie get pretty angry pretty fast, spewing out nasty things about each other and who can treat you the best. you were going to go insane. all you wanted to do in this moment was cry.

“ellie?” suddenly, ellie stops at the soft voice that just called her name. she saw you, teary-eyed, staring at her with the most heartbroken look on her face. her eyes softened and jaw unclenched. her heart broke at the sight of you, but still could not get over the fact that you still looked angelic. “can we please go?” you didn’t even have to ask ellie twice. she nodded her head and gave you a quiet ‘of course’ with a sympathetic smile on her face, but didn’t leave without staring the girl in front of her down. she then turned towards you and flung her arms over your shoulder. leaning her head on yours, you two walked together back to ellie’s room.

-ˋˏ ༻❁༺ ˎˊ-

the usual 5-minute walk back to ellie’s dorm felt like hours as it become harder and harder to hold back your tears. ellie didn’t speak one word to you, she understood that all you wanted in this moment was to be silent, knowing that if you opened your mouth once, you would burst out into tears again.

as you two reached her room, she gave a soft “hold on baby” and slowly released her grip on yours so she could unlock her door. you two entered an empty room thanks to dina, ellie’s roommate, visiting jesse at his campus. as much as you loved dina, you were so thankful you could just be alone with your best friend and cry. as soon as you heard ellie shut the door, it was exactly what you did.

as soon as she heard your heartbreaking sobs, ellie quickly rushed over to your side and engulfing you with her toned arms. she shushed you quickly and rocked back and forth, doing everything in her power to try and somehow make your beautiful face smile again.

“i can’t fucking believe her” you finally speak up after several minutes of silence and sniffles. ellie looks over at you, startled after not hearing your voice in a while. “we were together for over a year, we were literally living together in the same fucking room, like, where does she think i’m gonna go now? i’m not living there anymore i fucking hate her!” your sadness has now turned into rage and your slowly growing louder as your rant goes on.

“hey hey hey,” ellie tried to calm you down. “don’t worry about all that now, okay baby? you’re gonna stay with me, and you me and dina are gonna have a big slumber party and have pillow fights and make cookies and talk about boys.” ellie’s joke works miracles and brings a small smile on your face and a little giggle reaches ellie’s ears.

“there she is,” ellie smiles. “i missed that beautiful laugh.” you can’t help but get a little flustered at her comment. now that you were done with abby, your relationship was quickly forgotten when you remembered just how much you were in love with ellie before. you always thought she was so beautiful, and of course she always treated you like a princess.

when you finally worked up enough courage to speak, a quiet “i’m sorry, ellie” left your lips.

“what are you apologizing for baby?” ellie asks you with a confused look on her face. in the moment of catch your girlfriend fucking another girl, you totally forgot all about your own best friend and her crush, and how she was probably going through the same emotions as you right now.

“i’ve been being so selfish. i’ve only been thinking about me and my relationship that i completely forgot about your obsession with cat” you sadly smile and give her an apologetic look. you remembered all the times that ellie would gush about cat with you

“cats skirt looks so good” ellie seductively says to you while you grab your things out of your locker. you glance over to where cat was talking to two other friends at a locker bay across from the two of you. it is pretty cute you thought to yourself. you frown looking down at yours. just a plain boring white skirt.

or that one time when you two were putting off studying in your deserted dorm room

“wait stop scrolling! there! yes! let’s watch that one.” you questioned her on her choice because it was your favorite movie too and you didn’t think she would ever like it, considering she laughed in your face when you told her about it. “oh um i know yo- um it’s cats favorite movie.” ellie saves herself from almost admitting to you that she may have done a little too much stalking that night and found out a couple of your favorite things.

or the night of the frat party, the night ellie’s compliment to cat broke your heart so much, you’d call it one of the worst nights of your life.

“ok now my turn stop hogging,” you giggle at ellie and she shoves you away from the blunt. she finally hands it over and take a hit. you look around at the view of campus from on top of the frat house. “it’s sooo pretty up here, els.” you giggle as you blow the smoke out. ellie chuckles with you and you two burst into laughing. “oh my god how high are we,” you squeak out “ellie look and tell me how red my eyes are.” you’re suddenly staring straight at ellie, and in her haze she lets out a small ‘woah’.

“i uh i mean uh-“ she stutters out as you question what she meant and furrowed your brows. “i mean i was just looking into your eyes and thinking about cat,” she spews out “you know she just has eyes just like yours,” your small smile falls suddenly and confused brows now turn downwards. “uh yeah cats eyes you know they’re like a beautiful uh” while ellie tries to think, she then stares at you again and describes your eyes. cat has eyes like mine? i could’ve sworn they were different. your cloudy mind is not sober enough to realize what’s actually happening, instead your heart breaks even more, thinking that ellie has probably stared into cats eyes so many times she’s pinpointed every detail about them. once you two tossed out the blunt over the roof, you headed back downstairs together. still hurt with ellie’s rambles, you quickly get away from her as soon as your in the clear, leading you to meet abby. why is the worst time if it led you to meet your girlfriend? well, before the cheating, you would’ve had no idea why.

ellie’s hand in front of your face brings you back to reality, which is not fun. ellie is still sitting next to you on the couch and you have to ask her to repeat what she said.

“i was asking what you were apologizing for, baby. you were the one that got cheated on, not me.” ellie chuckles, but slowly realizes what she said. she see your eyes drop down again and the sadness returns to your face. while she’s quickly trying to come up with something to say to save herself, she stops when you stand upnn

“is it ok if i go use your bathroom real quick?” you sadly ask ellie, and she nods with a small smile on her face. you give her a quiet thanks and walk towards the shared restroom of ellie and dina. ellie brings her hands to her head and scolds herself. if you’re trying to make her feel better and give her a hint, this is NOT the right way to do it. she couldn’t shove down her feeling forever, but she also did not want to confess and risk losing you completely. she tried to clear her mind and think about what dina or jesse would tell her to do in this situation. while trying to focus, she could hear you shuffling around in the bathroom. she knew why you were really in there, she wasn’t stupid. thinking about that just made her feel ten times more guilty. she knew what to do.

-ˋˏ ༻❁༺ ˎˊ-

as soon as you go into the bathroom you lock the door and force the tears welling in your eyes to go away. you decided to wash your face with cold water to try and snap yourself out of your emotional roller coaster. you dry your face with the hand towel and turn to look at yourself in the mirror. you were still in so much shock at the events that happened tonight. you take in your messed up appearance and cringe. your bloodshot red eyes were not a pretty sight, and neither was the smudged mascara scattered underneath your eyes. you hope ellie wouldn’t be too grossed out by the way you look right now.

huhhhh?

woah okay the feelings are for sure back. you try to get yourself to look less dead inside by washing your face a couple more times. you opened the bathroom door and slowly walked back out to the couch. you sit back down next to her and put a blanket around yourself, meanwhile she is mindlessly scrollings through netflix trying to find something to watch before she stops on none other than you (and cats) favorite movie.

“oh hey what about this one” she looks over at you with a little smile on her face. you give her a confused look as to why she suggested this one, knowing it was cats favorite movie too.

“but, ellie, won’t that make you, i don’t know, sad?” you question. now she’s the one giving you confused looks.

“why is it like a sad movie or something? i didn’t think it was. i thought we could watch it because it’s your favorite movie and i thought it would make you feel a little bit better,” she smiles back. now you’re even more confused. for starters, she told you it was cats favorite movie, and also, you don’t even remember telling her it was your favorite.

“how’d you know?” you asked her. she replied with a little huh and you asked again. “how’d you know this was my favorite movie? i don’t think i told you that, and i thought it would make you sad because you told me before it was cats favorite movie.” ellie’s face suddenly turns from confused, to scared almost. she stated stuttering and couldn’t form a single word.

after a couple second of struggling, ellie says your name. “it’s not cats favorite movie. i don’t even know cats favorite movie. in fact, i actually don’t know a lot about cat in general.” she looks at you with an almost scared look. now she just completely lost you. when she realizes you still haven’t caught on, she finally begins to explain what she means after a long pause.

“it was never cat”. the room suddenly gets loud, very loud. your ears start to ring and your breath leaves your throat. you couldn’t believe it, again. the whole time you were pushing away your feelings for ellie, she was trying to do the same with her feelings about you. suddenly, you start thinking back to all the moments when you thought ellie was crushing on cat. slowly, more dots start connecting.

you glance over to where cat was talking to two other friends at a locker bay across from the two of you. it is pretty cute you thought to yourself. you frown looking down at yours. just a plain boring white skirt. you’re not the only one looking though. if you would’ve turned around to face your best friend again, you would’ve seen her also looking at your ‘plain boring white skirt’, grateful that she quickly replaced ‘your skirt’ with ‘cat’.

or that other night, after the blunt, when you were crying your eyes out to abby. ellie kicking herself outside and hoping, praying even, that you wouldn’t know the actual color of cats eyes, and that maybe you were even dumb enough to not know the specific details of your own (you were).

you wish you could go back and slap the old you in face, that way, you and ellie could’ve avoided this whole abby and cat mess and could’ve been together longer than you and abby ever would’ve been. now you’re staring up at, after she just confessed her feelings for you. you didn’t know what to say, well you did, you wanted to say that you felt the exact same was and you have since the day you met her, but you’re too slow so she keeps explaining to you.

“i’m sorry to bring it up, but when we walked in today, my heart broke. it didn’t break because i saw cat with another girl. it broke because i saw her with your girl, and i never knew anyone would ever be that fucking stupid to throw away someone as gorgeous, generous, and as selfless as you,” she pauses and you cry again for the millionth time tonight; however, this time the tears feel good. happy tears. she continues and says your name in the softest tone possible. “so again, it was never cat. it was you.”

“abby is not ‘my girl’” you cringe. ellie looks up at your quick response. “i always kind of hoped it was you.” you break apart your words, still scared to admit how you feel even though she just spilled her heart out. the response you got back though washed all your worries away.

“can i kiss you?” she asked quietly. you couldn’t believe it (x3). it was finally happening. every single event that happened up to this very moment has vanished from your mind. all you could think about was how you couldn’t nod your head yes faster. she gives you a beautiful grin before tucking a strand of hair behind your ear and gently gripping our chin to pull you closer. at last, your lips touched and it was everything you imagined and more. after you two slowly made out for a couple minutes, taking a couple paused to breathe in between, the kisses started turning more aggressive. you jump as you felt a soft touch on ur upper thigh. you relaxed once she placed her full hand on you and rubbed it up and down. you let out a soft moan which made ellie groan and trail kisses down your neck. you whined as you suddenly felt her pull back. her eyes looked right into your eyes, and she placed her forehead against yours. you two panted as you stared into each others sinful gazes. silence took over for a while before ellie suddenly interrupted.

“can i take you to bed baby?” you bit you lip and nodded, your innocent eyes locked on hers. fuck, you were perfect. it made ellie’s iris’ turn black, and she slowly guided you to her room, littering your face with teasing kisses on the way there. she sat you down on the edge of the bed and got on her knees, lips never leaving yours. her hands caressed your thighs once more, rubbing outwards so that your legs slowly separate. your lips follow as she pulls away to see your skirt has ridden up and she smirks, staring directly at your wet panties. “oh baby” she groans, her focus fully on your clothed pussy, begging to be touched. you lean back and tilt your head so you’re staring up at the ceiling, eyes squeezing shut and a moan leaving your mouth as soon as you feel small kisses going up you thighs. “love those fucking sounds, baby. you’re so angelic.”

“el’s. t-touch me,” you beg, but she light slaps your thighs and gives you a couple disappointments tsks.

“sweetheart, you gotta ask nicer.” she pouts up at you, malice in her voice.

“please, el’s, i need you to t-touch me please” you drag out, embarrassed that she has you this worked up and she’s barely touching you yet. she smirks up at you and her kisses get more sloppy the higher she goes, and finally, her mouth is hovering above your cunt, her hot breath purposely breathing heavy. she loved watching you whine and jolt under her touch. how crazy she made you go even with just a couple kisses. she loves how much control she has over you, and how well you listen to her.

“lift up your shirt, pretty girl. wanna see you play with your tits while i eat this pussy.” her words alone make you want to cum, but then it would be over, so you pull yourself together and do as she said. out of no where, you felt a long lick up you pussy, you body tightening suddenly and letting out a humiliatingly loud moan. “that’s right, baby. let me hear you. do i make you feel good? hm?” you shake your head vigorously, staring down into her green eyes staring right back up at you. she now loops her arms around your legs and spreads them further, making you squeak. “fuck, such a pretty fucking pussy,” she moans, and slowly starts licking up and down continuously.

you’re a mess. one hand gripping her hair, trying to push her even more into you, making ellie grunt, her own panties quickly getting wet at how bad you wanna cum. your other hand is placed perfect cupping your left tit, playing with it just like ellie told you to.

“el’s you’re gonna make me cum,” you whine, your eyebrows furrowed and voice raspy. you look so fucking sexy right now, and ellie tries her hardest to take a mental picture for later.

“yeah? you gonna cum baby?” she teasingly asks you and you whimper out a mhm. once again speechless with the way ellie is slopingly eating your pussy.

you suddenly feel a finger teasing your entrance before it slowly slips in. your moans groan louder, and her pace quickens.

“el’s, ca- can i please?” you beg, the knot in your stomach was growing rapidly. she lifted her head up for less than one second, a stern ‘cum’ leaving her lips, before she returns back to where her tongue was. you scream as you do, vision going black as ellie fucks you though your orgasm, fingers now rubbing even faster on your clit, causing you to completely come undone and cum all over her face. she doesn’t stop until you’re shaking and overstimulating under her. when she does, the only sounds in the room are your quick pants, and ellie’s bed as she moves to scoot closer towards you.

“woah,” you say, still trying to catch your breath. “that was..”

“way overdue” ellie chips in. the two of laugh and you move to lean you head on her shoulder. it’s silent again before you finally speak up.

“i don’t think i ever really thanked you for taking care of my today. i don’t think i would’ve been able to have this much fun today if it wasn’t for you,” you tell her and you feel her hands that were once in your hair, come around and lift your chin to give her a kiss m.

“you don’t need to thank me pretty girl, i wanted to take care of you.” her confession made your heart flutter. “plus i knew that maybe i might have a chance to finally fuck you,” she teases you and you hit her arm, jokingly sending her a scoff.

“you’re right by the way,” she finally adds on. you give her a confused look and hope she takes the hint to explain what she meant. “you’re not abby’s girl.”

“i’m not abby’s girl,” you repeat.

“you’re my girl,” she tells you, eyes never leaving yours, a small smile on her face.

“i’m your girl.”

-ˋˏ ༻❁༺ ˎˊ-

₊* a/n : ahhhh i really hope you guys liked it! 🤍 if you did please let me know because it would mean the world!

love you soooooo much MUAH

[bengiyo]

Peaceful Property: How I Yearn For a Good Procedural

I was originally excited about Peaceful Property because I genuinely like following BL actors into their other work to show that we are a loyal viewer base. Following Nishijima to Drive My Car (2021) was one of the best decisions I made that year. I’ve been thinking about the experience of watching Peaceful Property and why I felt so frustrated by the show. I wanted to write out my thoughts on procedurals, BL bait, and fandom so that I can move on from this show. 

The Loss Case-of-the-Week in Favor of Unearned Home Sympathy

My biggest struggle with this show was losing its case-of-the-week format around the midpoint. I was really intrigued in the early stories by how Home’s family’s business practices led to the terminal situations affecting some of the ghost stories. Like @lurkingshan I had hoped to see the show develop a common theme with its focus on stories about poverty. I also saw some potential in the read from @/maybe-boys-do-love after the episode focusing on Ride. No one was alone in this early read (@valentinaonthemoon). 

Through the end of episode 6, I had a ton of excitement about the show handling its themes around justice and forgiveness. We knew that Home was the one responsible for Peach's current predicament, and that Home’s grandfather and uncle were in on the cover up. Home knew what he had done to Peach, and fretted over it throughout episode 6. After five weeks of them focusing on completing a final act and providing closure for ghosts, I had hoped they’d give Home the chance to sit with the horror of the consequences of his own action and cowardice. I wanted the show to reckon with how Home, completely sober, left a stranger for dead, and only now cares about it because Peach is helping him feel less lonely.

Unfortunately, much of this frayed after the reveal that Home ran over Peach and the push to make Peach forgive him in the episode with the ghosts at the site of that camp. I didn’t share @respectthepetty’s read on the situation, but I did respect it and see how she got there. However, like @my-rose-tinted-glasses, it felt like the show started to rely on the inherent goodwill of shippers to overcome a major relationship break rather than deal with the underlying issues. 

I don’t think there’s anything inherently wrong with having the show turn to focus on how Home deals with Peach and Pangpang after the reveal that he left Peach for dead on the street, but I really struggled with the show not letting Home process the horror of what he did. This carries forward as we deal with the way Home’s family stole land from locals, and did not accommodate them through construction: something that had direct impacts on Kan and her father. By the time the show is forced to reckon with this, it handwaves it through Home with “You guys win! No problem!” (@twig-tea) It then goes on to give Home ghost sensing powers so he can rely Kan’s father’s final words which are just ‘get some friends?’ Now, I do think you need strong connections to survive activist work, but it felt really shitty to have the rich kid whose family caused all of this be the one to deliver this message. As with everything after Home’s biggest mistake is revealed, the show values the feeling of sympathy and forgiveness over the real work required for genuine reconciliation. 

Finally, the show jumps to the internal struggles of Home’s family in the final third of the show to focus on the destructiveness of their greed and its internal effects as well, but this feels like yet another unearned copout. The show works hard on the back half to pretend like the grandpa was just a silly old man, but there’s no way he doesn’t know what his people did to those communities, and he also knew exactly why Home was sent to America. The entire bit about the “family curse” in the last few episodes completely soured the show for me. It feels like the show even knows that, because it calls itself cringe through Pangpang when Home says he’ll “listen to those we’ve ignored.” Way to undercut the premise after giving Home the ability to hear ghosts. 

In the end, I found myself frustrated by the show turning to Newwie’s inherent charm to get us to want sympathy for Home rather than writing a genuine crisis in Home, and forcing him to grow. It feels poignant to me that the show thought it was funny to have Peach be mistaken for the help in Home’s house, and then later have Home and Peach independently decide to stay in Bangkok without talking to each other about it. Not talking about anything important was the big theme of their relationship after the hit-and-run reveal. The show did not reward any of us paying attention to its early themes on class (@lurkingshan).I never got the closure I needed here, and it’s the big sticking point of the show with me. 

BL Bait Kinda Sucks

As many of you already know, I don’t currently like what GMMTV is doing with branded pairs, and I think their shows are giving a warped view on found family narratives. I enjoyed following Off and Gun into The Trainee because they were playing a gay romance inside of a show that allowed for stories about a wider ensemble. I am really struggling with the conversation around the ways we apply queer readings to Peaceful Property because almost all of it relies on familiarity with Tay and New exclusively, and not anything the show did on screen. 

With this show, I’m struggling with the found family aspect and the moving goal posts. I don’t think Home agreeing to reinstate an onerous contract on Peach and Pangpang is a kind move from him. I also don’t know that the team basking in the glow of Home’s goodwill as the final shot is a great look either, and feels kinda paternalistic. We had a whole movie about people stuck sucking from the teat of a rich guy and how shitty that goes two years ago.

GMMTV creates its branded pairs so they can literally be used as a brand. They have these people working almost every day to sell something on socials, or at a fashion event, or appearing at an event. I wasn’t bothered by Tay and New working together outside of BL after the fantastic work they did in Cherry Magic earlier this year. I don’t mind them using their most popular actors to attract a viewer base that will follow them almost anywhere to ship them. 

I also actually like stories about the bonds between men. Currently, GMMTV is adapting School 2013 (2012) with High School Frenemy (2024). The broken relationship between two of the male characters there is incredibly well done in School 2013, and I do not think that show would be improved by making that an actual romance. I think they’re both fertile ground for shipping, but the show’s primary focus on the state of life in a failing school for the students and faculty is better served by the intensity of feelings over the broken bonds between men. People are still shipping Goblin and Reaper from Goblin (2016), but again, that story is actually better without an actual sexual or romantic connection between Kim Shin and Reaper. With Peaceful Property, I don’t think they finished the work of building and resolving this friendship between Home and Peach, and it leaves me wanting.

I share a lot of @italianpersonwithashippersheart’s general concerns around the commerce around BL with GMMTV. That being said, I don’t begrudge @respectthepetty and others having fun calling the show gay. What I’m struggling with is the difference between the shipping being satisfying versus the show being satisfying. I lost my emotional connection to this show when it failed to resolve the break in the middle. The back half of the watch is hollow for me, and I just can't let my willingness to ship Tay and New make up for that failure. 

I Need a Good Procedural

What I realized the most from watching this is that I need another good procedural in my life. The first half of Peaceful Property gave me some of that, but the back half did not. I enjoyed the performances everyone gave on this show, despite my lingering qualms with what the show chose to prioritize. I’m happy that everyone seems like they had a lot of fun working on this show, and I’m glad that the viewers clearly responded to that. This was actually a genuinely pretty show to look at, and I’m glad that GMMTV continues to embrace color in their shows this year (with a few glaring exceptions). 

With that, I will put this show to rest. This show ended up not being what I thought it was giving, and I’ll be moving on. I’ll see you all much later on future GMMTV works. 

[yuheartss]

𝐂𝐎𝐓𝐓𝐎𝐍 𝐂𝐀𝐍𝐃𝐘 𝐇𝐀𝐈𝐑

IN WHICH — saiki k meets a girl with a pink afro, she reminds him of cotton candy …

౨ৎ WC? 742 wordss

౨ৎ warnings! - fem!reader, fluff, unedited , lowercase intended!

౨ৎ a/n: I think I made him a little ooc but I hope not.. if I did please tell me! constructive criticism is welcome js don’t b mean₊ ⊹₊ ⊹

you always hung out with Kaidou, not because he was your only friend or anything— it’s just that he was just one of the people who didn’t give you weird looks about your skin or hair, you moved to Japan when you were in junior high and been here ever since your mum got a job transfer

today, kaidou was going to introduce you to his friends from his class, of course, you were very nervous you thought of the worst possible situations ever. What if they make weird comments about my hair?? You thought, twisting some of your curls around your finger

Kaidou seemed to notice your nervousness and patted you back, “don’t be nervous! My friends are great- not saying you aren’t, your like really great but- it’s just- you know..” you laugh at his attempt to cheer you up “thanks kaidou” you chuckled now getting up from the bench you were on

his friends finally showed up, a big guy with a strangely enormous butt chin, a pink haired boy who looks like he’s so done with everything, three girls (one which was glowing somehow??) a boy with red hair, and two other purple haired boys

“You sure do have a lot of friends Kai…” you muttered as he awkwardly chuckled, you stood up straight as a foot shorter yet glowing girl approached you with a brunette and orange brown behind her, the glowing girl took your hands in hers “your so pretty! I love your hair! What’s your name? I’m teruhashi kokomi!”

Teruhashi gave you a smile that blinded you for a bit but you could just see that her face screams not as pretty as me but your still good looking you gave her an awkward smile “hi.. I’m l/n y/n nice to meet you teruhashi and thanks!”

Teruhashi introduced the shorter girl as Yumehara and the girl to her left as chi sati she waved at you while she was scarfing down a double cheeseburger now this this is what impressed you she had a whole bag full just waiting to be devoured

Then teruhashi introduced the red haired boy, which everybody called him hairo so you will too then both of the purple boys greeted you themselves the firsts name was koboyasu and the second was Toritsuka; almost immediately they began to share both of their life story with you

You stood there with all your weight on your right leg slowly tuning out the boys and the rest of the gang why are they telling me their life story!?! I don’t care! You thought, whining softly underneath your breath someone nudges your arm softly you looked up at the also pink haired guy he nods his head at you and walks off “follow me” you hear a voice in your head

You turn back to the crew then at kaidou then you look back at the guy you hesitantly take a step forward “good grief..we’ll be back they won’t even know we’re gone” you pause for a sec and mutter an ok before walking away with him wait what if he kidnaps me?! What the hell am I doing—

“Don’t flatter yourself” he says, walking in front of you, your eyebrow twitched in annoyance to which a faint smile lands upon his lips “so where are we going?” You ask now walking side by side

“I was going to the convenient store before they showed up and dragged me along, so that’s where we’re going” he informed you looking at your hair, he must’ve been staring for a while because you noticed “what?” You questioned him getting a little defensive

“Your hair…” he began as he opened the door to the store for you “what about it?” You say following him as he went to get his snack of choice, he picked out some coffee jelly that came in three

He didn’t answer, you sighed and went to get a dessert too “you know…I’ve never even asked for your name..” you say just know realizing that you’ve been with this teen and never asked he turned to you as he payed for both of your treats “Saiki”

“Okay saiki, tell me what you were gonna say about my hair” you semi demand and quietly thanking him for buying the treat, you can clearly see him hesitating “just say it man” you hurry starting to get impatient

“….it reminds me of cotton candy”

[baby-yongbok]

Poetry

Chapter Two - It's a Date

Hyunjin x Fem!Reader

Genre: Fluff, dare I say slow burn? The type that tickles your heart.

Word Count: 2,661

A/N: Ya'll voted for a part 2 but I honestly would've probably made this a mini series regardless 😭. I love this story with my whole heart and I hope you do too. I decided that I'll be uploading the chapters for this series on Thursdays at 6pm EST. Anyway, Enjoy! Any and all feedback is appreciated!

Summary: That cute stranger that you met at your favorite bookstore cafe is anything but a stranger now.

Part One

✧Poetry Series Masterlist✧

✧Main Masterlist✧

(Reading part one before reading this is highly recommended)

“Six o’clock on the dot. We should start paying you for coming here.” Amanda, the cafe owner, joked as you walked through the doors of the small bookstore. 

“Yeah? I think I’d like that, I could use the extra money.” You smiled at her as you clutched a stack of books to your chest. “Oh, these are donations by the way. All brand new, my brother is cleaning out his office and business management isn’t exactly my cup of tea.”

You place the stack of books neatly on the counter in front of Amanda and she flashes you a genuine smile. “This is why you’re my favorite customer. Here, your next drink is on us.”

Amanda hands you a coupon that you gratefully accept. You’ve learned a long time ago that declining her offers is futile. “Oh and I think that someone is here for you.” 

She wiggles her eyebrows teasingly and you furrow yours. You turn around and a soft smile spreads across your face. Your eyes land on Hyunjin’s tall frame sitting cross legged at one of the free tables in the nearly empty cafe. An iced americano in one hand and a book in the other. 

“He’s been here for thirty minutes.” Amanda whispers over to you and your smile spreads wider. 

“Of course he’s early.” You shake your head, chuckling a bit. “Thanks for the coupon.” 

You wave your goodbye to Amanda and start to make your way over to Hyunjin who seems to be completely engrossed in his book. You steal a glance at the cover and raise your eyebrows at his current literary choice. 

“Life is so constructed, that the event does not, cannot, will not, match the expectation.” Your voice catches his attention causing him to sit up straighter as he takes you in with a smile. 

“You’ve read it?” He asks, referring to your quote as he places his bookmark and closes the novel. 

“I’m a bit of a Charlotte Brontë connoisseur.” You reply with a shrug. “I did my thesis on that novel for my senior year of college.”

“I’ll have to pick your brain about it once I’ve finished it.” 

You watch him as he stands and stretches a bit. You take a second to drink in his appearance, his orange and black crocodile print sweater and black slacks fitting his frame perfectly. You have no doubt that it’s expensive just like everything else that he’s worn during your Thursday evening meetings. Once he’s satisfied with his stretch he pushes in his chair and circles the table to stand in front of you. He holds a hand out to you and you slip your fingers over his slender ones. He brings your hand up to his mouth and kisses the back of it gently, a grin pulling at his lips. 

“You look lovely tonight.” He looks you over slowly, taking in the form fitting glory of your black pencil skirt and the contrast it has to your baggy maroon sweater tucked in just in the front. 

“You say that every Thursday.” You playfully roll your eyes and Hyunjin smiles, shaking his head in agreement. 

“Because you look stunning every Thursday. I can’t wait to see you on a Monday or a Tuesday.” You blush a bit, looking away from him in an attempt to hide your reaction. 

The two of you have been meeting at this bookstore cafe, Adore, for two weeks now, today being the third. You’ve found yourself planning your outfit for this day of the week as soon as you wake up on Friday. Each time that the two of you say goodbye you can’t help but to think about the next time that you’ll see him and all of the questions that you’ll ask him. Hyunjin was no different, he found himself thinking about you like a teenager who just asked their crush to prom. His roommates started teasing him for the extra work that he’d been putting into his appearance. Every Thursday he’d spend an extra thirty minutes in the bathroom making sure that his hair looked just right since you complement it every time you see him. He’d gone on for about an hour asking his roommate Felix for his opinion on different colognes even though he normally doesn’t bother to wear any. He even took on an earlier work schedule so he’d be available for your meetings. Anything to see you again. 

“Thank you.” You whisper and he nods in response. He grabs his bag from the back of his chair and packs his novel away before grabbing his drink. 

“Shall we browse?” You nod your head, lacing your fingers together behind your back before taking a step forward. It seems that you both had the same idea since the two of you bump into each other softly. You both chuckle lightly and Hyunjin moves his free hand to the small of your back to guide you in front of him. “Ladies first.” 

His words come out in such a whisper that you could barely hear him but that could also be due to your heart thumping in your ears as a chill runs over you. You shake your head trying to play off your reaction to the small physical contact but you can’t help it, his touch is electric. The two of you trail off into the poetry section and you know exactly what you’re looking for. 

“I take it that you have someone in mind?” Hyunjin asks with a curious glance as you browse the shelves. You nod, your gaze never leaving the organized spines lined up on the shelves. 

“There!” You reach forward quickly, plucking the book from the neat stack and holding it up to show Hyunjin. 

“Rupi Kaur, I can’t say that I’m familiar with her.” Your face twists in disapproval causing a small chuckle to fall from Hyunjins blushed lips. “Why don’t you introduce me to her work.” 

“ If you like R.H. Sin then you’ll love her.” You look down the aisle both ways to make sure that no one is around before kneeling down and sitting on the dark carpet. Hyunjin looks down at you with furrowed brows as you take off your bag and place it next to you. Once you’re settled you look up at him returning his confused expression. “Are you coming?”

You pat the carpeted floor next to you and Hyunjins confused stare quickly melts into a gentle look of admiration. He nods his head before joining you on the floor, sitting next to you with his back resting lightly on the book shelf. He glances over at you as you study the hardcover book in your hands, your fingers tracing over the embossed words. He takes in the steadiness of your breath and the way you hum ever so slightly when you notice a new detail on the cover. He doesn’t notice the grin that’s creeped across his lips until you look up at him, he looks away quickly as a blush creeps across his cheeks. You mimic his actions, blushing a bit yourself. A few seconds of quiet surround the two of you before Hyunjin breaks the barrier. 

“May I?” He asks, gesturing towards the hardcover in your hands. You let out a deep relieved sigh and nod at him. You hand the book over to him, the tips of your fingers brush lightly against his and you both still momentarily at the contact. You both had to have felt that shock run up your spines right? The two of you decide to shake it off quickly, concluding that it was merely a case of static electricity. Hyunjin looks down at the book in his hands, turning it over and taking in the words on the back cover. He clears his throat a bit before reading the text on the back.

“This is the recipe of life, said my mother as she held me in her arms as I wept…” You listen closely to each word that his voice carries. Sinking into your own little bubble, this time that the two of you reserved every Thursday served as a calming ground for the both of you. Nothing else mattered right now, the only thing that exists is the two of you and the poetry that you shared. 

“The sun and her flowers.” Hyunjin read the title as he flipped the book back over to its front. “I have to admit that I’m very interested.” 

He opens the book to its contents and reads off the name of each section. “ Wilting, Falling, Rooting, Rising, Blooming.”

You nod as you look over the grayed out page with him. “Which section do you think you belong in?”

Hyunjin looks over at you, a bit taken back by your question. Your large doe eyes stared back at his shining narrow ones patiently waiting for his response. “Uh, I don't really know.”

You nod, catching on to his hesitance. You look forward for a second, your eyes mindlessly scanning the spines of the books in front of you before you do what you wanted to do last Thursday. Slowly and carefully you lean your head to the side gently resting your temple on his shoulder. You feel him tense a bit at the sudden contact but he quickly relaxes into your touch even leaning over a bit to give you better access to his shoulder. 

“I think that right now I belong in falling.” You watch as Hyunjin silently flips through the pages before landing on the first page of the section you mentioned. He licks his lips before reading the poem. 

“I notice everything I do not have and decide it is beautiful.” He lets out a deep sigh that he wasn’t aware that he was holding before shaking his head. 

“I think that maybe I belong here too.” 

His fingers run over the picture placed under the poem, imitating pencil strokes as he studies it. You turn slightly to look up at him, studying his slow blinks as his brown orbs focus on the page. The gentle air escaping his nose tickles your lashes as he exhales but you don’t dare blink, too afraid that you’ll miss a moment of him. What is this that you’re feeling? 

“But I don’t think that I can say that everything that I don’t have is beautiful, not yet.” His eyes don’t leave the page as he continues to imitate the abstract strokes. “Well, there is one thing that I don’t have.” 

His words come out in a whisper and his gaze suddenly shifts over to you. His brown orbs are looking deep into yours. Your breathing picks up slightly as you will yourself not to look away.

“And it’s definitely beautiful.” His gaze is intense yet soft as he looks over your features. You notice that his eyes wander over your lips a bit longer than everything else before meeting your eyes again. “I guess I have to convince myself that I deserve beautiful things.” 

He lets out a light sigh and you can’t help but to bring your hand to lay on top of his. 

“You are more than worthy of beautiful things, Hyunjin.” He grins down at you gently before tearing his gaze away from yours. 

“Perhaps I am.” He whispers more to himself than to you. Suddenly he lets out a deeper sigh as he closes the book. “Have you eaten yet?”

You return his sigh as you lift your head from his shoulder. You can’t help but to wonder what he meant, why would he think that he doesn’t deserve to indulge in beauty? You shake the thoughts from your mind, not wanting to ruin your Thursday night with him. “I haven’t”

“Would you like something?”

“I can make something when I get back to my place, money is a bit tight for me right now.” 

“My treat.” He hums out simply as he studies the spine of the hardcover in his hands.

“I’m alright.” You chuckle and he looks over at you with a bit of concern drawn on his features.

“Really it’s no problem. I know that I pay every Thursday but it makes me happy that I can provide you with something as small as refreshments every week. It gives me peace of mind.” You blush a bit at his confession, so he does think about you as much as you think about him.

“Well if it means that much to you..” He smiles down at you with a nod.

“It does.” He shifts suddenly as he moves to stand. He holds his hand out to you and you take it, allowing him to help you up. “They make an amazing tomato caprese sandwich here.” 

“I’ll try it.” He nods at you happily before taking the lead out of the aisle. You follow closely behind him when suddenly you remember something. “Oh!”

You catch Hyunjin’s attention as you walk up a bit faster to stand beside him. You rummage through your bag until you find what you’re looking for.

“I have a coupon for a free drink!” You muse excitedly and Hyunjin can’t help but to laugh at your sudden elation. 

“Keep it, I appreciate it but I’ve got this.”

“Oh come on! Let me help.” You pout a bit as the two of you reach the register and Hyunjin puts in the order for the two of you, he’s already memorized your drink order so little discussion is needed. Once your order is placed and paid he turns to your pouting face with a warm smile.

“You know what? There is a way that you can help.” He slides his hands into the pockets of his slacks and you perk up a bit as you listen to him. 

“Anything.” You smile up at him, wide eyed and eager to be of use. 

“How about next Thursday we… meet outside of this place. Maybe I could take you on a date?” 

A deep blush creeps onto your swarthy cheeks as his question sinks in. Your lips pressed together in a thin line and you shift the position of your feet slightly. Hyunjin looks down at the dark tile nervously as he waits for you to say something, anything. His nerves began to creep up his spine, spewing doubt into his mind. Just as he was about to retract his offer and apologize you let out a breathy chuckle. 

“I’d really like that.” A toothy smile spreads across his face once he hears your response and you instantly wear one to match once you take in his reaction. 

“Uh, great! I’ll text you the details.” He takes his hand out of his pocket, offering his phone to you. “I can’t believe we haven’t exchanged numbers yet.” 

A shy chuckle escapes him as the two of you exchange phones and input your numbers.

“There you go.” You hand his phone back to him, your giddy smile still present on your red painted lips. 

“Alright, well um, I’ll text you everything you need to know once I plan it.” He says as he stares down at your contact for a second too long, he bites his lip slightly to try and hold back his smile. 

“It’s a date.” You both stand in front of each other smiling like enliven children at an ice cream parlor. “I’ll go grab us a table.” 

Hyunjin nods at you as you turn on your heels and make your way to your usual booth. He watches you as you walk away from him with awestruck eyes. He allows himself to smile now that you aren’t looking, his eyes turning into shining crescents as excitement builds inside of him. He glances down at your contact one last time before locking his phone and stuffing it back into his pocket, He glances over at you before turning to face the cafe counter and whispers to himself.

“It’s a date.”

← Previous Chapter ♡ Next Chapter →

[katiemcsuper]

some very disorganized thoughts about the agatha all along finale to scream into the void:

- if there is a second season/a continuation of agatha’s story, i really like the ending. i think it concluded the overall arc of the season well while leaving things open to be further explored. i feel like agatha is a complex character and change/growth for her would be much more satisfying over a longer period of time; to me that seems more realistic/satisfying. similarly, i think the story between her and rio needs to play out with more time. i think the season played out the arcs of the other coven members well and i think it set billy off onto the next stage of his life/story

- i really want to delve more into rio and her relationship with agatha. from what we���ve seen, particularly in these last two episodes, she really did nothing wrong. she was, as she said, doing her job with nicky and even then she broke the rules for agatha. and it is so heartbreaking and tragic love story for her to do all that and for agatha to hate her despite/because of that. i don’t remember the specifics, but there were a few lines where rio expressed disappointment and, to an extent, confusion over agatha’s treatment/rejection of her. in many ways she seems resigned to the fact that agatha will have this element of hatred towards her that can’t be avoided

- agatha is just such a juicy character and kathryn hahn plays her so incredibly well. she is so straight-up awful and also so tragic and also just obnoxious but charming. i love the way all of these traits coexist. and, to my earlier point, this is why i feel like it would not really be satisfying to have her arc be fully resolved in the time available in this season

- if aaa is indeed just a miniseries and these characters don’t show up again/agatha is around only to support billy’s plot then that will be very disappointing. at the same time, though, i thought the show was really well-constructed and well-executed, but as it stands, billy was ultimately the main character instead of agatha. and i don’t think that negates the value of the show or its depiction of agatha, particularly in regards to lesbian rep, but it is nevertheless a bummer. but i am holding out hope for more

- i’m very interested to read jac’s episode recap interviews and see what all she says

- i so much enjoyed the experience of watching this show. i’ve been so engaged and excited to watch it and it’s lovely to feel that way, especially for a marvel show on disney+. regardless of how everything plays out it is so cool (and also shocking) to have a show at all that is centered around middle-aged women and queer characters, especially from these companies. and i love love love kathryn hahn and she makes the character and the show and it is so lovely that she is getting her flowers.

[candycandy00]

Roses in the Sky - An Original Alien x Reader Story Part 3

In a future where humanity huddles in decaying domed cities controlled by alien invaders, you and your best friend Anna work as make-shift nurses in a tiny clinic run by the young doctor Terrian. The city is ruled by the aliens' violent, half-breed offspring who serve as brutal overseers. You and Anna have always tried to avoid these overseers at all cost, but your life is changed when one of those same terrifying offspring is brought into the clinic, injured and unconscious.

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5 | Part 6 | Part 7 | Part 8 | Part 9 | Part 10

This is an original Alien (well half alien) x Fem Reader story! I hope everyone who enjoys my fanfiction will give this a shot! Any feedback whatsoever would be loved! I’ve already written this story so it’s not going to delay my fanfics. Just thought I might post chapters of this between fanfics if anyone is interested.

Slow burn, as this is a novel-length story, but there will be smut in later chapters! Also: violence, blood, rape attempts, death of side characters, etc.

You stood outside Anna's door the next morning, holding the little girl's hand. When the door opened, Anna looked curiously at her. "Who's this?"

"This is Miranda," you told her. "Her parents were attacked by half-breeds last night and she ended up with me. I thought you two should meet."

Anna stared down at the little girl, who was looking at her feet as she squeezed your hand. "Oh," Anna said, then dropped to her knees beside the girl and wrapped her arms around her.

Miranda's hand slipped free of yours and her little arms went around Anna, struggling to return the hug. Her body began shaking with sobs and she cried loudly into Anna's shoulder.

"It's okay, honey," Anna murmured, tears forming in her own eyes. "I'll take care of you now."

You stood back silently until Miranda stopped crying and Anna led her inside, then you followed the girl into the apartment.

Anna's place was cute and quaint, reminding you of the pictures you once saw in old home improvement magazines Terrian used to keep lying around the clinic. You didn’t know how she kept it so clean. The walls and furniture were faded, but had clearly been very bright and cheery at one time. 

"So how did Miranda survive?" Anna asked, sitting down at the table beside you and handing you a cup of weak tea.

You took a sip. "Remember the half-breed Terrian brought in yesterday? He was the one who killed her parents."

"I told you he was dangerous!"

"Yeah, but he let Miranda go because he owed us for saving him."

Anna sat her cup of tea down. "You mean you interfered with a punishment? And a half-breed actually listened to you?"

"I was surprised myself," you answered, taking another sip. “I was so scared, I was crying like a baby. But I took a chance and it worked out.” 

“You better not try anything like that again,”

Anna warned you. Then she glanced at the clock on her wall. “We’d better get to the clinic.”

After Anna showed Miranda around the kitchen and told her to help herself to anything in the refrigerator, she locked the door and instructed the girl to keep it that way until she came home.

"Sorry to dump her off on you," you said as you and Anna walked together toward the clinic.

"No problem. It'll be nice to have someone around. The nights are pretty lonely, you know."

You nodded. "I know." You turned your eyes toward the giant mechanical tower that stood in the direct center of Gallica. It was visible from every single spot in the city, as it loomed over everything as a symbol of the Pagoda. You frowned at the menacing construct. "It's too bad we can't just blow it up."

Anna followed your gaze to the tower and immediately held a finger to your lips. "Shhh! You know better than to say something like that in public!" she whispered furiously. "Do you wanna get ripped up by the half-breeds?"

You pulled Anna's hand away. "I know, I know. But it's like they're mocking us with that stupid tower."

"That stupid tower keeps the dome up. If we blow it up, we all freeze to death."

You looked down an alley toward the wall of the dome, where you could faintly see snow blowing wildly around on the other side. You sighed and kept walking. There was nothing you could do, nothing anyone could do.

Walking by the various alleyways and streets brought back painful memories. You could almost see yourself as a teenager, huddled under a streetlamp with Anna, eating whatever you could steal.

But you could also still see Terrian reaching out his hand to you both. You pushed the negative thoughts to the back of your mind and walked the rest of the way to the clinic with Anna.

It was a couple of days later when the front door of the clinic swung open and the half-breed you and Terrian had fixed up returned. He was back in his uniform, topped off by a dark beret that pressed his black hair down over the lone green eye. You stared at him as he walked toward Terrian. He was no longer the wounded young man in polka-dot pajamas, but an unfeeling monster in black.

There was a knot in your stomach, and you looked over at Anna, who was frozen stiff. "Anna, come on, let's tend the other patients," you told her, taking her hand.

"That bastard killed Miranda's parents," Anna whispered.

You nodded. "I know, but there's nothing we can do now. Let's go."

Terrian stepped out from the bedside of a nearby patient when the half-breed neared him. "Ah, Mr. Vartan! You came back for your check-up!"

The half-breed, who had apparently signed his patient form as Vartan, nodded.

Terrian led him through the swinging doors and into the back room. Some of the patients who were conscious drew in sharp breaths as Vartan walked by them, looking at him with terror written across their faces. You felt bad for them.

Just when you thought things had calmed down, a few minutes after Terrian and Vartan had left the room, Terrian poked his head through the swinging doors and asked you to bring some more bandages. You frowned to him, but gathered up the bandages and walked through the swinging doors.

Vartan was sitting on a cot, his jacket and shirt discarded and his torso again exposed. At least this time he was wearing pants.

He looked young as he sat there, a little younger than the twenty-three years of age he had written on the patient form. Shirtless and wearing the beret made him look strangely like some sort of male stripper. Dare you even think it, he almost looked cute.

Terrian removed the bandages and examined the wound. It had already mostly closed up, healing rapidly with the amazing Pagoda blood. He carefully cleaned the area, examined it for infection, then dressed it with fresh bandages.

"Take these off in a couple of days. If the wound looks fine, you don't need to put anymore on. If there's any bleeding or discoloration, come here immediately."

Vartan nodded, pulling on his jacket. He paused, looking at you. "Is there a problem?"

You blinked. "What?"

"You have been staring at my chest the whole time you have been here. Is there a problem I should be aware of?"

You went red. You hadn't even realized you were staring. "Oh, no, I'm sorry!"

Terrian looked at you in surprise, then looked back to Vartan. "You'll have to forgive my nurse. She's not used to seeing such finely crafted male bodies. The lot we get in here are very different from you."

"Doctor!" Your face was now burning with embarrassment.

Terrian laughed, and Vartan seemed just a little confused. You were deeply upset. How could Terrian be so casual with a half-breed?

Vartan buttoned his jacket, thanked Terrian again, nodded to you, and left out the back door. Terrian grinned. "Wow, he's so polite!"

"Polite?! I saw him tear a woman's head off the other night!"

"Well, he's still a half-breed after all. At least we're safe. He seems to like us, you in particular."

You were placing the left over roll of bandages in a cabinet. "Me?"

"You haven't noticed?” Terrian asked. “He keeps looking at you. Maybe he thinks you're cute!"

You went pale. "That's not exactly a good thing, Doctor. You know what the half-breeds are like."

"But you obviously think he's cute," Terrian said, still grinning.

"I do not!"

"Couldn't keep your eyes off him."

"I was looking at his wound!"

Terrian laughed. "Why deny it? It would certainly be novel, a half-breed with a willing human."

"I don't like him!" you suddenly screamed. "He killed Miranda's parents! If we hadn't saved his life, he would've killed me too!"

"That's all true, but haven't you ever wondered? How much their human side affects them? I don't think they've ever had relationships like we have. I don't think they understand the concept of family. Maybe if they could experience that, it would awaken the humanity in them."

"But Doctor, how can you make excuses for them? They killed your father, didn't they?"

Terrian looked down, his glasses slipping down his nose. "You're right. Sorry, it was just wishful thinking."

The day wore on, just like the other days before it. You, Anna, and Terrian tended patients, joked with each other, and allowed yourselves to forget about the outside world. And when the working day was over, you parted ways and returned home.

Anna's apartment was on the other side of town, where Miranda was at home waiting for her. Terrian lived in a large house a few blocks away, but spent the night at the clinic whenever a critical patient was brought in. He had often asked you girls to move into his home, but you both had the desire for a little independence, at least for as long as you could maintain it.

You entered your apartment that evening, flipping on the light in the small living room and locking the door up tight behind you. The room was dirty, no matter how many times you cleaned it. It seemed like a thin layer of filth covered the whole city, and no one could get rid of it.

There was no television, not for the past twelve years. Your memories of it had become vague over time. Sometimes you and Anna went to Terrian's house to watch old films. As interesting as they were, you found them depressing. People were usually happy in those movies, enjoying a world you didn’t remember, and you couldn't relate to them at all.

There was an unused stove in the corner of your kitchen and a small refrigerator stocked with items like fruit, vegetables, butter, cheese, and rarely some form of meat. You counted yourself extremely fortunate to have what little you had, as produce was quickly becoming a scarcity. The Pagoda managed resources in an extremely strict manner, and even private gardens had been taken over. 

You unpacked your things from the duffel bag, then changed into pajamas. You fixed herself a glass of water, placed it on your bedside table, and went to bed. The sheets were cold without the warmth of another person, but you had gotten used to that.

Sleep came slowly to you, and then you were haunted by violent nightmares filled with screams and blood and the half-breed Vartan killing Miranda's father. And then suddenly Miranda morphed into Anna.

"Why didn't you save me too?" Anna demanded, looking up at you with blood all over her face, "Why didn't you save me like you did Miranda?!"

You backed away from her until your back hit a stone wall. "I'm sorry... I'm so sorry, Anna! I didn't know you then!"

Anna shook her head. "That doesn't matter. I needed you. I needed to be saved!"

She came closer, until she was inches from you. Finally, she reached out and wrapped her hands around your throat, choking you.

You awoke with a jolt, sitting up in bed and clutching the sheets in your fists. Sweat dripped down your back. Nightmares like that were surprisingly rare for you. Generally, you dreamed of your parents or of the clinic. 

You never got back to sleep that night, and so you were early to work the next morning, even before Terrian or Anna arrived. Terrian came first, unlocking the doors and letting you in, followed soon after by Anna. You and Anna changed into your uniforms while Terrian checked the patients. But just as you walked through the swinging doors, you heard the front door of the clinic bust open.

All of you looked up just as three half-breeds, two men and one woman, walked in. They scanned the main patient area with their two-color eyes, then looked at Terrian. 

One of the men spoke with the same mechanical voice Vartan had. "We've received reports that you are harboring those who escaped punishment. Everyone in this building is now officially interfering with punishment.”

Terrian pushed his glasses up the bridge of his nose again. "Girls, I want you to run far away from here. Right now."

Anna started toward him. "But Doctor..."

"RUN!" he screamed, and you grabbed Anna's arm, dragging her toward the back entrance. As the two of you made it through the swinging doors, you began to hear screams and cries, glass breaking, and the sound of Terrian's voice as he yelled for the half-breeds to stop.

[reviewinghiccup]

Hey!!! I’ve gone through your entire list of posts and loved it. There’s a lot of psychoanalysis which makes the work a fun read.

Though I’m curious, what is your biggest inspiration or take-a-way from Hiccup? Do you have any other HTTYD character that equally inspires you. What about the franchise that speaks to you the most?

Sorry if the questions are loaded, but I’m curious, you dissect and approach the franchise in a detailed, humanistic way, I wonder if that’s kind of how you also view the universe.

HELLO DEAR!!! Sometimes I wish you guys weren’t anonymous so that I can find you and thank you for filling up my Inbox with such amazing words of encouragement.

To hear that anyone has just read this blog and enjoyed it really makes my day. I pour my heart into my writing and I just want to say I love answering these questions and I am sorry I took over a year to reply. Before I get to why lemme answer you first.

My biggest inspiration and take-away from Hiccup is:-

He is different

I grew up with Hiccup. When the first movie was released I was the same age he was and going through my own season of not fitting in and awkwardness. I wanted so much to be noticed and recognised. Physically I was also very different. I didn’t fit in anyone’s mould.

Peers are precious about certain things and kids with many friends usually meet their criteria - but I couldn’t. Not even close.

I know how it feels like to be alone and misunderstood, even by my own parents.

but he is always kind…

Hiccup doesn’t subscribe to revenge, at least not around his immediate peers like Snotlout who sometimes, I really do feel he deserves it. He believes that there’s always something, to understand, to fix or to improve. That industriousness actually makes him the perfect leader to propel his people forward into the future. In a world where everyone focuses on what’s on the outside, he hyper fixates on what’s on the inside and if we really start listening to why people say what they said instead of just taking their words literally you hear so much more.

he stewards his gifts well.

He can invent. He’s been inventing before meeting Toothless. He’s good at it. And he meets every physical challenge he has with an invention.

He is also a natural born leader - though he never fit the mould of what a Viking should look like, he fits the mould of what a leader should be. A leader needs to earn his respect, and though still the smaller male Viking, he is very well respected.

He is fearless.

Push comes to shove, Hiccup is reliable, courageous and quick thinking. He does not back down from a challenge. Yet, he isn’t intimidated by others strength - he allows everyone else to hone their skills and be their best selves as he has allowed himself to be.

HICCUP inspires me because his growth and leadership and story comes from him first accepting himself and in time, he becomes everything he was suppose to be. My biggest take-away from him is, you will never lose if you give yourself time to see the bigger picture of why things are the way they are.

Of course I love Hiccup for so much more, but I don’t know how much you’d wanna read 🤣 Nonetheless, on the top of my head, that’s what I think he means to me.

The other HTTYD Character that Equally Inspires me is, of course, ASTRID

To be fair, we know her significantly more than the other characters so it’s natural to fall in love with her.

But they have created a very beautiful character to love.

Astrid is strong and independent, but nothing about that takes away from her femininity. Sometimes I feel like movies/shows about strong independent women make those women so unfeeling and hard.

Astrid feels real to me. She’s driven, self-disciplined and honourable, but she can also be condescending and harsh - and instead of getting defensive about it, she actually listens to that constructive criticism when it comes and changes.

She knows she is born to lead (though not in the same way Hiccup is - which is also admirable because she humbly gives way to him to do his thing) so she needs to learn how to inspire her soldiers, help them improve and make them better. She can’t do that if she always thinks she’s right. That’s what brings about toxic leadership. And she is not toxic.

I admire her dedication to improve. It’s something I love in Hiccup as well, but Astrid just works on herself and her performance. It’s inspiring.

While there’s more, I’ll keep it to these two things for now.

What about the Franchise that Speaks to me Most

Friendship. Trust. Becoming. Young Adulthood. Reality Check. Being lost. Finding Yourself.

So much really. So much.

When I first started writing this blog, I actually lost my grandmother. I loved my grandmother so much. She was warmth, love and life personified.

After she left, I was lost for a very long time, failing exams and switching careers. I couldn’t focus.

This show helped me piece together a lot of my own personal feelings. It helped me think through certain problems. When I synthesised those thoughts into this blog space, I felt like I was dealing with them.

And when I watch Hiccup and Toothless glide in the sky, it made me feel like I am there with them. The soundtrack itself is also very transportive.

I think my favourite thing about the franchise was/is that it made me feel again. At least on the rewatch leading to the creation of this channel.

The franchise when I first watch those movies, when I was really young made me feel “found”, if that makes any sense to you. Because, it talks about not being alone - like how the loneliest dragon could find the loneliest boy Viking. And that these two in turn, found a lonely girl looking for something to see herself in.

Each step of Hiccup’s life was mine. Even when he didn’t want to “take on the family business” and desired to be more than he and the world he’s in is built - that was me, still is me.

This franchise has something for almost everyone. And every which way you turn Hiccup, you will see a small glimpse of yourself in him.

In essence, I think the franchise just speaks and that’s what makes it so damn good.

[jor-elsemissary]

Fall

Summary: Set some time during/after the last season, the real Lionel Luthor survived his son’s attempt on his life and seeks vengeance against those who wronged him. They wanted a villain, he would give it to them. He just needs to overcome his feelings for a certain widow.

———

When he came back from prison, his enemies thought his fangs had been pulled, what with the way he had tried to seek redemption through charitable foundations and such. But his son’s evil twin had merely proven them wrong, that the old wolf was still in there waiting to claw its way back to the surface and onto center stage.

Then his son believed him to have grown sentimental and weak over his obsession with a certain farmer’s widow and her son. But the younger Luthor simply was not aware of the truth about him and the son, and how much stronger his conviction was with that knowledge.

It hadn’t been enough to spare him the pain of a eighty story fall though. Barely alive. Declared dead to protect him from his murderer. It took years for him to recover. Years lost in a hospital far away from Metropolis and Smallville. And when he finally returned to get his revenge, his son had gotten himself killed and a doppelgänger tried to take his place.

It all could have been avoided, of course.

All they had to do was simply listen to him. But they chose to believe in the lies his son had crafted. Ignored his warnings and his pleading for clemency. They wanted to paint him as the villain, believing he had never truly changed, and so now, that is what he will give them.

With Kal-el gone and John Jones too busy elsewhere, and Jor-el’s construct no longer wracking his brain with head splitting migraines, he could easily slip into the role of the treacherous and ruthless CEO of LuthorCorp again. He would give them what they wanted.

A villain to fear and hate.

He just needed to overcome his feelings for a certain widow first.

“I don’t know what happened to you, Lionel,” Martha Kent firmly spoke but there was a sadness in her eyes that he could see. Behind him were two of her son’s friends, bound and gagged, though the latter was to grant him some peace and quiet from Miss Lane’s insistent chatter. “But I know this isn’t you.”

“It’s always been me,” he answered back nonchalantly. He dismissively gestured with the gun he held while he paced back and forth in front of the Senator. “I’ve simply allowed sentimentality to rule my judgement. That ends now, Martha.”

“It doesn’t have to. You have friends here, people who care…”

“No one cares about me! Not even you!” he snarled and whirled around unexpectedly at her, the cold steel now pointing at her. “The only person to dare defy my murderer and come to my funeral was your son. Where were these so called friends? Where were you?!”

She fell quiet and he felt a pang of guilt. He knew where she had been. She did not have her son’s gifts to traverse the distance quickly. There hadn’t been enough time from his death to the funeral to allow her to come.

Lionel lowered the weapon and looked away, knowing that if he continued to meet her gaze, her will would overcome his own. He chose to glare at Miss Sullivan who returned it with a look of defiant bravado. “It doesn’t matter anymore. They want a villain, they will have one. Go back to Washington, Martha. Forget about me.”

“No.” She was so stubborn. That strong will and determination was one of many traits he had come to cherish about her. Right now, though, it was becoming an inconvenience. “You were abandoned when you needed them the most. I will not do that to you.”

Lionel Luthor looked upon the one woman he had been willing to give his life for. She still amazed him even after he had gone cold and bitter with hatred. He wondered once more if she actually loved him but her loyalty to Jonathan kept her from acknowledging and exploring it.

“Why must you do this to me?” he demanded to know from her. Why was she willing to risk everything for him? He was a murderer, a liar, and a conman. He only protected Clark because that was what Jor-el wanted.

“Because I… do care about you, Lionel.” She dared to touch him, a gentle hand on his forearm and he could feel himself unraveling to that touch alone. He feared it wouldn’t take much for him to completely fall apart. She always had that effect on him.

“Do you?” he questioned, hazel eyes meeting blue in challenge. “Or is it Clark’s friends you’re more worried about?”

“Of course I’m worried,” she tells him while stepping closer to him. Lionel found himself swallowing thickly at her closeness. “But I still care for you as well. You must know that.”

She wasn’t wrong. It’s why he loved her in the first place. Despite all that he has said and done over the years, she still found it in herself to care about his wellbeing. He felt tender fingers brush across his cheek before a hand lovingly rested against his face.

“Let them go, Lionel,” she pleaded with him, her other hand gliding down his arm to the hand holding the gun. He didn’t want to let them off for what they had done to him, but he also wanted to make her happy. To be proud of him. To trust him again. He was hurting, he knew she could see that. She always seemed to know exactly how he was feeling and why. A mother’s intuition perhaps?

“They let him murder me.” The words came out in a quiet whisper and he felt his shoulders drop as he found himself leaning into her touch. “I didn’t deserve that fate, Martha.”

“No one does.” Her thumb caressed across his cheekbone and he felt himself close his eyes. Maybe, just maybe, he could forget everything and just be with her. “But this is not the way to get justice.” He let her take the weapon from him and he heard the safety click into place before it was discarded.

Martha Kent once more found a way to disarm him and he allowed it as she took him into her arms and simply held him. It took Lionel a few moments to overcome his own defensiveness to embrace this remarkable woman and rest his head against her own.

With eyes shut tightly, and Martha soothingly rubbing his back, Lionel Luthor came undone in her arms. Quiet sobs wracked his shoulders and his body trembled in her embrace. He needed help and Martha gave him her promise that she would, that he would not see the inside of a prison cell this time.

He didn’t resist when the police came in a few moments later and bound his arms behind him. He didn’t fight back when they took him away from her. He kept his eyes on Martha until he couldn’t see her anymore and his head lowered in defeat and despair.

The turmoil of betrayal and anger left him feeling hallow inside, except for that tiny spark of light that Martha Kent left behind in him. He decided then and there that he would endure whatever the courts decided. He would endure the mistrust and scornful tongues of Clark’s friends. He would endure the public humiliation he knows Lois Lane would put him through with her articles. He would endure it all so long as Martha Kent was there to guide him through it all.

He had set out to be the villain this time. Instead, he felt every bit as his son’s victim all over again.

[chaosnojutsu]

good morning!! I see your backstory ask post and I would love to hear more about the bridgerton AU or extraordinary love!! Whatever you want to say about them. they are faves of mine!! ❤️ thank youuuuuuu

You get both as I try to decide if I can swing something for Shikatema month and prep for Nejiten month! Perfect timing, I actually just re-read these two last night looking for inspiration!

ask about the backstory for one of my fics!

send shivers down my spines: I wrote all the Nejiten story and separately wrote all of Lady Whistledown as one cohesive letter, and then decided where I wanted to place each of her gossipy interjections. That was neat to explore as a writing device because I had room to expand upon the world and add a little more flavor (like detailing Naruhina’s relationship and my obligatory background Shikatema mention) without feeling like I had to do it all from Tenten’s POV, which would have detracted from the core of this story: Tenten being horny for Neji.

Another fun part of writing this was casting what role each character would play! Coding Neji as Simon was easy — deciding to split Daphne between Tenten and Hinata then seemed natural; the premise of having sex in the library comes from Daphne and Simon, but it felt disingenuous to her character for Tenten to be the diamond of the season. My personal favorite analog is Tsunade and Queen Charlotte, which also felt like a duh decision given their roles in society, but I liked the nod to Tenten wanting to impress Tsunade.

I solemnly swear to never refer to Tenten’s junk as “nethers” again lmao. I usually can’t stand that one, but it felt appropriate for the piece. And I can’t talk about this fic without bringing up the dom Neji agenda! Who’s going to tell the head of the house he can’t give head anywhere he wants in his house?? Definitely not Tenten, and apparently not any of their house staff. I’ve spent some time considering what a dom Neji might look like since your initial comment on the fic, so he might make a stronger appearance in another work — yay and thanks for putting the bug in my ear!

extraordinary love: “Temari knows damn well why a stupid social construct like her nonexistent virginity matters. Back in the day of arranged marriages, the whole thing was more of a business deal. The wannabe groom would have to pay more to his bride’s family in exchange for her hand in marriage if she was pure. Virgin brides from influential families were high dollar items. Temari’s family is influential enough. But now that the matter of virginity is off the table… this barter is looking more like the Sand seeking retribution against the Leaf than tit for tat. If her marriage is blessed, they’ll probably stipulate Shikamaru move to Suna instead of the opposite, which is not what Temari and Shikamaru decided on. In the most drastic worst case scenario, like Kankuro said, their engagement (or the knowledge that said engagement has been consummated on a number of occasions) might be seen as an act of war. They’ll stick Shikamaru’s stupid, handsome face in a bingo book with shoot to kill orders.”

This premise is the heartbeat of the story. What does it look like when your personal values don’t align with those of everyone else around you? How do we respond when well-intended people stick their nose in our business and give an opinion we never asked for? Combined with fan theories/headcanons that Shikadai was a pre-wedding pregnancy — and that’s an interesting concept to me, especially considering what that might have looked like for Temari and Shikamaru if they were still long distance or abruptly decided not to be (and the parallel to Mirai and Kurenai and Asuma, of course, which I didn’t hit in this story because Temari wasn’t actually pregnant) — everything fell into place.

Making the call to write from Temari’s POV was exciting but scary because she’s so Particular, you know? But this story needed to come from her because of what it is, and it’s about Temari’s agency: she gets to decide who she marries, and whose baby she has, and she gets to decide when those things happen. And then I got to actually write her being in love (which I’m eager to try again), and I love the energy of Temari being like “Look how impressive my fiancé is! I made a good choice! I’m trying really hard to make you approve of him!” and Shikamaru being like “Yeah, what she said!” Because Shikamaru understands that as far as Suna’s customs and culture go, he doesn’t have a dog in that race, he IS Temari’s underdog in the race.

I’m honestly proud of this fic because I know I just made it sound really serious in terms of themes etc., but it ultimately is a comedy, and anyone who has ever done comedy can speak to how difficult of a skill it is to learn and hone. One of the things that makes comedy work well is that the characters have to take everything seriously and respond sincerely, now matter how ridiculous or grandiose their circumstances or responses may be. Temari even says from the beginning of this story that she knows she has the Kazekage on her side, but she panics a little because of her circumstances and takes matters into her own hands, and she doesn’t relinquish that control until shenanigans have ensued and Gaara finally reminds his sister that his support of her was never in question. (I’m not sure how I feel about my iterations of Gaara and Kankuro individually or overall, but I do like their scenes with Temari as siblings and their consistency.)

Side note: the reception of this story gave me the confidence to write chapter 15 of Reliance the way it panned out!

(also, I’m late, what’s new, lesbian nejiten is coming i promise)

[jade-of-mourning]

sooooo I’ve recently stopped being dead to the world

I had to backtrack and reread down to your answer to my last ask (which,,, thoughts,, when you manage to beat them into submission pls pls pls pls share everything) because I haven’t touched tumblr in a hot second but then I saw your post about lok s1 (and specifically s1 korra) and,,,

okay so this is me and my dumb hyperfixation talking but how do you think the rest of tlok would’ve gone if makorra wasn’t ruined. like just in general, what do you think would’ve changed?? if anything??

keeping this short but like. brain worms are munching. cuz the way their characters developed and how they each influenced each other. how would that have ended like. romantically. like what if korra burned bright and bright and bright and offered her soul and her strength and every one of her fingernails in love and mako bit his lip hard enough to offer blood in a kiss. what if they were a little bit insane by the end of everything.

sorry that doesn’t make any sense!

love

🐌

hey snailon!!! i've missed you <3 i've been hella busy myself (cough i have four ap tests in a row next week) but it's always lovely to see you around haha

hmm there are definitely a fair share of really well written meta regarding a not-slanderized makorra, but i don't really have any specific links on me rn. i'll just give you my sparknotes version of what i'd imagine, which might end up combined with stuff i've read from other people that i don't remember reading

i'd probably postpone them more than the series did — which, granted, they did write it with one season in mind, so i'll give them that. (i would argue that it's still a valid explanation for certain writing choices, because even though the books were commissioned before the release of their predecessors, it's not like the writers get to just rewrite the ending spontaneously bc episodes aren't constructed chronologically lol) okay ignoring that tangent

i'm okay with the love triangle in season 1 as it is because even though it's insane, it also checks out on all parts for korra, asami, and mako in terms of backstory and personality at this point in the story. korra is socially unaware because she never interacted with people her age or really Society, asami is desperately lonely and values good intent above all else, and mako is also impressively socially stunted and has the pressure of financial concerns as well. (if it were up to me, i would either just commit to korrasami or makorra from the start and add in the third if going in the throuple direction. i'm going off on a tangent again)

i have conflicting feelings about endgame. on one hand, makorra is so full circle by concluding the way they do here — mako's first encounter with korra he treats her like he doesn't give a shit that she's the avatar, the first person to ever do so; yet, by the end when korra's absolutely devastated and believes her only value was as the avatar, mako tells her straight up that he doesn't care if she's the avatar or not, as he has all along. it's genuinely so cute and i could honestly write so many more words about it than i did. but at the same time, i just would like to think that after the shitshow love triangle, they would put off getting together, perhaps as an overcompensation upon recognizing how they hurt asami.

since the latter route is the au i've decided to follow, so be it. in endgame, korra and mako still have their full circle moment and spinny-hug, but instead of kissing in front of naga they just longingly pine into one another's eyes. excessively so the viewers know. okay cut

season 2 they are rekindling their friendships with asami and asami is tired of watching them dance around their feelings for one another and also maybe pining just a little bit for korra but huh what. i would actually have to rewrite the entirety of lok to shift s2 into a readable mess. korra is still amazing as always and saves the world as always. oh also throw in some korrasami with the family betrayal theme. yeah i don't want to think too hard about this

see the struggle is that i love krew!friendship in season 3 so much but at the same time i feel like end of season 2 is the perfect time for a makorra get-together instead of a makorra breakup, seeing that korra has literally changed the entire world all by herself because she is so amazing. so alas, we'll go with end of season 2. mako no longer lives under his desk to hide from korrasami and in the two weeks between s2 and s3 they are done with their honeymoon phase so they'll just be as they are through s3 tbh. honestly there was so much makorra shipteasing throughout canon s3 that i don't really think there'd need to be too much rewriting. they're still the level-head/kick-the-door-down-subtlety duo within the krew dynamics and they're still clearly very important to each other specifically. the makorra hug before korra goes up to face zaheer might be drawn out even more and maybe something sweet couples say idk. (i have so much rizz i know wht i'm saying)

korra gets even more trauma for a lifetime (again), and three years pass. korra writes to asami once as in canon because by the time she feels human enough to pick up a pen, she doesn't even know how to talk to mako, let alone try to address the guilt of ignoring the guy who devoted himself to her so thoroughly. asami understands what it is to lose. mako (& bolin) has lost more than anyone else once perhaps but i think that the trauma repression means that that was never processed and he would be terrible to talk to about any of this. he's been there, but he doesn't understand it, if that makes sense.

okay so korra comes back, makorrasami dinner (ig the shitling that canon wu is is there also), makorrasami train fight, then we have remembrances and beyond the wilds — y'know, the korrasami/makorra episodes respectively. korra is now experiencing feelings for both of them Oh Fuck. by default i would say that masami has been hooking up through these three years but since makorra was a thing through s3 then i retract that; however, their friendship has rekindled very deeply as the only two members of the krew left in the city. and mako & korra have not discussed what they were or what they want to be at all, just been adamantly dancing around the subject.

blah blah kuvira blah blah city blows up then the wedding then bam!!!! mako's love confession to korra is actually a love confession to korra (wdym "i'll follow you into battle no matter how crazy things get; i've got your back and i always will" ISN'T a confession of love). korra is joined by both mako and asami after tenzin leaves, asami grieves, and the three of them have a moment together that has very heavy implications for throuple-ism. then bolin pulls up very devastated that he has missed the final krew party. cue the laughter, cue korra's final delivery of "i'll always try to restore balance" bc it should've been here instead as the three of them stare at the changed city before them, and cut.

(yes krew should've had the final scene together. i've said it before that i don't think korrasami was particularly well written, but i still like them and the ending is still very sweet. however, i hate that they completely disregarded the rest of the cast for the final episode instead of giving them a scene together, even if not the very last one, bc of how that translated over into the entire fandom… i mean what. and the spirit world vacation is a sweet sentiment but also i feel that korra would never immediately go leave on a vacation immediately after everything that just happened and her declarations of duty. i don't think i articulated that very well. but yes.)

[destinedtobeloved]

Now that I’ve finished Altered Carbon, I think it would be fun to share one of my notes from my notes app that I’ve been writing on since I’ve started it. I’ve cried a lot about this book, and everything I’ve ever left behind has claw marks.

This book definitely has claw marks.

It includes all of my favorite moments and parts of the book down below :)

Things I love about book Kovacs

- he’s trying to quit smoking

- His hallucinations are of Jimmy and Virginia Vadura

- Him and Ortega don’t actually hate eachother that much in the beginning

- At first Takeshi doesn’t actually hate Bancroft either

- He’s genuinely confused about earth terms

- He was mad that at the Wei clinic they didn’t give him back his watch or his bandana, simply because he just bought it and he’d liked the watch

- He likes shopping

- He likes fruit juice???

- Gaslit Umou into being late to Psychasec because he needed to eat breakfast

- He deals with hangovers like a champ

- Started smoking in the construct once he remembered it had no real consequences in the real

- Understands female complexity/differences between male and female

- Knows how to handle gentle situations most of the time (victor talking about his daughter, Kristen talking about Ryker.)

- Quotes poetry from Quell

- Also enjoys poetry (ex; the carving on the bench at the faculty when he’s waiting for the doctor.)

- Slept for twenty hours after the Wei clinic??

- His emotion (though i do miss the scene where he’s drugged up outside of the raven talking to Quell. ‘250 years is long enough. It’s time to move on.’ ‘Never. You hear me? Never.’)

- His love for Sarah

- His attempts at smiling

- His explanation of personality frag!!!!

- Chapter 20 as a whole is so amazing (talking about Ryker- him and Curtis, bla bla bla, mostly just Elias and Kristen stuff.)

- Ramen just awakens something in him

- Actually very good at telling children’s stories to Ortega (like a dad.)

- Good at cracking jokes

- His interaction with the little girl in the second page of chapter 25???!?? (He shoots her with a little finger gun when he realizes she’s looking at him expectantly after seeing his weapon.)

- After the whole blown up building Kadmni thing (‘that’s fucking enough!’) he smokes because he just decides it’s not worth it

- Him and Trepp playing card games on the airship that Trepp had taught him

- He literally reaches for his Nemex every three seconds istg

- Remaining ‘innocent at the core’ -reileen

- Apparently having a very deep very drugged convo about cats in chapter 26

- Kovacs is a MUNCH

- Repeats the same Virginia Vidora quote over again. ‘We take what is offered. And sometimes, that must be enough.’

- Reileen always starting off her talks with him in Japanese because she thinks it unites them in a way

- Had to stop himself from calling reileen ray

- He actually DOES genuinely smile (ex; when Irene is exited about the limo)

- ‘I’m a sucker for family reunions.’ HE ACTUALLY DOES CARE (maybe it’s because him and Sarah never got to have one after he was taken out of the store.)

- Sleeping in the car (limo) so Irene can get laid

- The guilt/itchiness he has after relapsing into smoking

- Him and Trepp are actually friends and she insists that they go party, drink coffee, play card games together, ect.

- Considers trepp not getting into the envoys a ‘Lucky escape’

- Trepp n Kovacs playful teasing

- He missed Ortega when she left the Hendrix and didn’t come back. ‘I missed Ortega.’ Page 356

- Bancroft saying he’d been around for the RD’s of two of his children. (Going out of order back to the beginning)

- Doesn’t bullshit. Didn’t tell Irene it would pass when she was feeling hurt after being resleeved.

- It was nerve wracking to him to watch Irene code

- Reileen and Miriam slept together??

- Takeshis urge to be cruel

- Got anyoyed when Miller was tapping on the table and just flatted out his hand LMFAO

- When he heard he got a call he immediately asked if it was Ortega.

- Literally seconds before he’s about to get beat to death in the Panamrose he thinks about how bored he is

- Still, right before he about to die, he thinks about Ortega and calls her a ‘pocket of calm’

- He’s ready to die, not awfully upset about it because he knows Kristen has enough information to get Reileen and also because he knows Sarah will be released

- Trepp saves him in the Panama rose

- He talks to his dad mid fight after not hearing him forever. Before he killed Kadmin (calling him the ‘patchwork man’) he asks if he wants to say anything.

- He’s afraid to alter his virtual self because he thinks it’s not far away from what reileen and Bancroft do

- Sits on a forklift after the fight thinking. He’s weirdly soft.

- Claims that nothing hurt more then the realization that this would be his and Ortegas last moments together

- Held hands with her too

- Would’ve given anything to not have to dissolve what was growing between them.

- He loves her more in the book than he did in the show (and it’s making me sob.)

- He literally is arguing with himself when he is double sleeved

- He almost killed someone at 16 because he looked like his dad

- Also wanted to help the Elliot’s because of his family and his mom who was like Lizzy

- Absolutely does not want to talk about his past and his father/family

- Planning to get drunk because he doesn’t want to talk to himself sober

- Disappointed with his copy for smoking

- Takeshi fter the microsurgery is down at the lake with a little girl who seemed to ‘adopt him’

- He’s actually kind of heartbroken when him and Kristen’s relationship changes after he is resleeved.

- Makes his day that he can still make Ortega laugh before he convinces her to get him some stiff because he thought their dynamic was weird afterwards

- Before he and Reileen fall to their deaths he says, ‘When they ask how I died,' I said, 'tell them: still angry’ as well as ‘that’s fucking enough’

- Once his clone lost to rock paper scissors and was set to die, he asks if he wants him to tell Jimmy anything. I sobbed.

- Kept accidentally talking about Reileen in present terms after she died.

- He gave money to Irene once he’s about to leave for Lizzy. (‘I want there to be something clean at the end of all this, something I can feel good about.’)

- He held Irene after that.

- He attempts to laugh with Ortega before he goes

- His quote saying that no matter what you always leave alone. (‘Whatever world it is, whatever you've done there for better or worse, you always leave the same way. Alone.’)

- His last wishes are for Kristen to get Ryker to stop smoking once he’s out of the store

[lucy-moderatz]

aceness and re-learning to read romance

this is long. just warning you.

For a good portion of this year, I thought I’d started to hate romance novels. They’ve never exactly been the focus of my reading, but since I’ve started reading regularly again, they’ve always been a feature. For the most part, I’ve enjoyed them. There are always duds, of course, but more and more over the last few months I just…haven’t been able to take them. 

Tropes I used to like suddenly annoyed me. Writers I once really enjoyed flopped time and time again. Was it them? Was it me? I severely downsized my romance collection. There were some hits, for sure. But they were fewer and farther between. I started to have much better luck when I focused primarily on queer romances, where I saw far more success. But that left me with another question. Why?

We should all be reading queer stories. Sci-fi, fantasy, non-fiction, horror, every genre, every month, every year. That goes without saying. My sudden fixation of queer romances could have just been a desire to see stories told in a different way, from a different point of view, old tropes reimagined. But what about my queerness: my aceness. Did that have something to do with it?

My aceness goes like this: I do not want to have sex. I probably never have. I probably never will. That’s the base from which I operate. However, that doesn’t mean I don’t want to read about sex. That doesn’t mean I don’t love reading about sex. I do. I love a well-constructed, hot, dirty love scene between any two consenting adults who want to be there. That’s fun. Sex is fun, as long as it’s not happening to me. 

However, a thought recently occurred to me that I haven’t been able to let go of: have I begun to gravitate away from, full disclosure, mostly heterosexual romances because they make me feel like sex is happening to me?

I know a common criticism that gets lobbed at the romance genre and romance readers by joyless morons is that it’s all wish-fulfillment and self-insert. That women imagine themselves in the place of the heroine and get off vicariously through that. That’s certainly not always true. And if it is true, so what? I read sci-fi novels to live vicariously through people who get to fly around in space. I read cozy fantasy to feel like I’m in a magical world where everything is safe and comfortable. Self-insert is a valid way to read, but since we apparently need to be policing women’s desires all the time, it’s something women have to defend themselves against all the time.

But this isn’t about how capital “W” women read. This is about how this lower case “w” woman reads, and how I come to a piece of work as an asexual/aromantic. I realize I may have been coming to the piece as if I am the woman in the piece. I’m now forced to be her. Which is difficult because more often than not, she wants to be there and I don’t. I don’t relate to her because I can’t relate to her. I wouldn’t give the male love interest a second chance because I don’t feel her feelings and I don’t know how. Therefore I get frustrated when she does because what’s the point? Living happily ever after? I’m happy now.

You see where this is a problem.

I am not the person in the book. But somehow, I have been reading romances, and I feel it is particular to romance, as if I am. With queer romances, particularly ones where there are no female love interests (and those are, for the most part, the ones I inevitably picked) there’s a built-in defense against that. Against the uncomfortable feeling of being unable to separate myself from the female protagonist, from her choices feeling like mine, and her desires being completely antithetical to mine. I find myself liking those books a much higher rate more because I feel inherently set apart in a way I suppose I no longer feel in most heterosexual romances. It's just a book again.

I don’t think we’re taught to read this way. Maybe subliminally, I don’t know. I know not everyone reads this way. I know that “this has nothing to do with me, these people are not real, let’s see all of the fun things they do” is the way, probably, most people come to a book. I just never realized, when it came to romance, maybe I wasn’t one of them. Maybe I didn’t know to have that barrier up. Maybe I didn’t know it would end up bothering me so much.

I told my Dad I was asexual because I was reading a book and two characters were having a conversation and suddenly, or at least suddenly it seemed to me, one character began thinking they were sexually attracted to the person they were talking to. In the middle of the conversation. I was just…annoyed. Baffled and annoyed. Because here we were again. This was not a romance book. This was a mermaid and a human talking about some heavy stuff and then there it was. I felt slammed into. By this feeling I don’t get, this thought I’ve never had, that every single person seemed to have but me. I’d been thinking about asexuality, reading about it, talking with friends, asking myself, “Is this me? Is that why I don’t feel these things? Should I tell him? What will he think? I can’t not tell him. I can’t not tell someone. He loves me. He’ll understand.”

He did, by the way. They all did. I was lucky.

So. I haven’t had long to test this theory. I just finished my first heterosexual romance in a long time, and though there were very few sex scenes, I went into it with the thought, “This has nothing to do with me. Let’s have some fun.” And I did. I can’t promise they’ll all be like that. I don’t know if it matters if they are. They’re just books. But I wanted to reflect on this part of myself, this journey into what being ace means for me, how being more aware of it and accepting it as part of my identity, part of how I intrinsically think and approach the world, may change, may expand, how I approach everything.

I’ll never stop reading queer romance. It’s not a shield, I’d never treat it that way. I just hope that I’ll now be able to approach all romance the way I have always approached queer romance, as it’s own piece of art to be judged and evaluated on its own merits, as a story about people completely separate from me who happen to want relationships and like sex and will live happily ever after.

After all, I’m already happy now.

[sunnyrealist]

🌶️ Ch. 24: Let Yourself Dream Again 🌶️

The Sun, the Moon, and All Our Stars

Summary and Details…

Chapter Background and Summary: In a previous chapter, Kate ran into Henry Finch, her friend and ex-boyfriend. Sebastian did not like this interaction much, which resulted in rather possessive sex and a tough but honest conversation about why he reacted that way. This chapter takes place the following morning.

Pairing: Aged-up, post-Azkaban Sebastian Sallow x female OC (Kate Mayflower)

Content warnings: In general, this story is rated 18+, so MNDI! For this specific chapter: handjob and oral sex - both male receiving 🌶️, angst because Sebastian doesn't feel that he has anything to live for other than Kate, and a discussion about an emotionally abusive relationship with an ex.

The full chapter is available below the cut; it can also be found on AO3 (link is posted below). Any kind of constructive feedback would be greatly appreciated. A comment, like, or Kudos would make my day!

Chapter 24: Let Yourself Dream Again

Even though Kate had previously thought they wouldn’t sleep much that night, they actually did (after another round of lovemaking, naturally). When she woke, she felt more well-rested than she had in quite some time. There was something so comforting about his arms around her, their skin to skin contact. And falling asleep to whispers of sweet words - words of love - was the best part of it all.

It seems late enough in the morning that she doesn’t hesitate to kiss Sebastian to wake him. Gently, she presses her lips to his.

“Good morning,” Kate whispers. “Good morning, my love. My Sebastian.”

Slowly, his eyes begin to blink open. He inhales sharply, looking around and slowly realizing where he is - in Kate’s embrace, in her cozy bedroom. 

“I love you,” she continues whispering. “It’s morning, my love.”

“Mmmm,” he hums in appreciation as she kisses his cheek. “Good morning, Kate.”

They lay silently for a long time, snuggling closer together. Their peace is only disturbed by some birds chirping loudly outside. 

“Oh, I forgot… there are some birds building a nest right outside this window,” Kate murmurs. “I meant to deter them earlier this week, and it might be too late now.” She sighs.

Sebastian smiles. “That’s alright. We’re too busy nesting here ourselves, I suppose.” He pulls Kate closer. “Gods, I love you, Kate.” He pauses for a few moments. “Look… I… wanted to apologize again about last night. Thank you for listening to me last night about why I reacted the way I did to your ex-boyfriend," he continues. "It’s been a long time since I’ve had someone so understanding but also willing to tell me I'm being ridiculous." He caresses Kate's hair. “And I was being ridiculous.”

Kate smiles faintly. "I love you, Sebastian. Of course I wanted to hear your side. It was only fair. And your explanation made sense to me. It just makes me sad to hear that you think you have nothing else to live for outside of me." She stares up at the ceiling. "Sebastian, if you can gain your freedom, there will be so much to live for. Think of all of the things you could do in life. Travel, explore… see the world! You would have boundless time to study anything you want. You can make new friends, and maybe you’ll reconnect with your old ones in time. You can start a career of your own choosing. And of course, we’ll grow closer together…” she trails off, not quite daring enough yet to say what she is really thinking about the future.

Sebastian brushes his fingers through her golden hair as he considers his next words.

"Kate, you don't understand," he says softly. "Nothing compares to you. You are the only reason I even bothered trying again after everything." There is a long pause. "I've seen things no one should ever see, done things no person should ever do. There's nothing left for me except starting over with you by my side."

"I want you by my side, Sebastian. But your life should be so much more than just me." She cups his face in her hand. His eyes close as he leans into her touch. "Whether you agree with the sentiment or not, you deserve happiness after all you've been through. So… please, let yourself dream again. Just imagine what our lives together could be like... We can go anywhere, see anything, learn about anything. Just promise me you won't give up on yourself ever again."

"I promise," he whispers, his eyes filling with determination. "And thank you, Kate. For everything." He leans in to press his lips to hers.

Kate returns the kiss eagerly, her fingers weaving into his messy morning hair. She scoots closer to him under the covers, sighing as he embraces her and runs his hands up and down her bare back.

"Mmm, you taste so good," he whispers between kisses, feeling her lips curl into a smile. His own body is heating up quickly, responding to her touch and desire. He breaks the kiss momentarily, trailing warm breaths across her neck before nipping lightly at the sensitive skin there. "There is nothing I want more than to taste you for the rest of my life."

Kate exhales sharply as Sebastian moves towards her collarbone. Her hands move down to his back, sliding over his muscles down to his arse. "The rest of your life?" she whispers breathlessly, in wonder how he is so easily able to say such things… 

"Yes," he affirms genuinely, his hands sliding up her thighs to squeeze her arse cheeks. "I know it's early to say such a thing... but I mean it. I do." He places a soft kiss on her collarbone. "I want you to be happy, Kate. Even happier than you’ve made me. Whatever you dream of doing, I'll support you completely. That's how I would like to spend the rest of my life."

Kate presses herself completely to him, feeling a wave of love wash through her from her head to her chest, settling in her belly. 

"Sebastian..." she whispers, kissing his lips deeply. "Sebastian..."

"Hmm?" he hums, and then his tongue seeks entry into her mouth. They engage in a passionate kiss, their tongues dancing together as they explore each other's mouths hungrily. His hand moves between them, reaching up to squeeze her breast and flick his finger against her nipple.

Kate whimpers in response, wrapping her leg over his and feeling his firm arousal against her lower abdomen. "I... I love you, Seb..." she whimpers.

"I love you too, Kate." He groans against her lips. Breaking the kiss, he trails his tongue down her neck, stopping at her cleavage before suckling on her nipple. His hand reaches further down to cup her other breast, massaging it gently while his thumb rubs circles around her hardened nipple.

With a moan, Kate reaches down to grip his cock. She brushes her finger across his tip, feeling pre-cum bubbling up. She begins to pump her hand up and down. The sensation sends pleasure coursing through Sebastian. He bites down on her shoulder lightly, groaning as she begins to stroke him faster. His hips respond involuntarily, thrusting forward into her touch. 

"That feels so good," he rasps out, his voice hoarse with desire.

"You... you deserve... to feel good," she pants out. "Let me make you feel good..." She works her hand faster, watching his reactions as he groans, trying to learn what he likes.

"Kate..." His breath is hot against her neck. His grasp tightens on her ass, pulling her closer to him. He thrusts into her hand, matching the rhythm of her strokes. "I’m almost... almost there," he growls, his voice cracking with need.

"Seb... not yet..." she whispers, then rips the covers away and completely changes position, her face level with his dick. "I've been wanting to do this... for a long time now..." 

With full eye contact, Kate traces her tongue slowly along his thick length, tracing his bulging veins, as if she is licking a peppermint stick or lollipop. She moistens her lips, then brings him deeply into her mouth, sucking. She isn’t certain she can fully take him, so she wraps her hand around his base to continue stroking him.

A moan escapes Sebastian's lips as Kate's warm, wet mouth engulfs his cock. He reaches down and tangles his fingers into her hair, gripping tightly as she begins to suck him hungrily. Her tongue swirls around the head of his cock, teasing him mercilessly. "Kate..." he pants out, his hips rocking forward instinctively.

She slides off of him with a pop, panting and trying to catch her breath before diving back in. This time, she takes him much deeper. She looks up at him with half-hooded eyes as her head bobs on his cock.

"Oh, Gods above..." he groans, his hands gripping the sheets tightly as she takes him deeper than anyone ever has. "That's... fuck!" He arches his back, unable to resist her skilled ministrations. His cock throbs in her mouth, close to exploding.

"Not yet," she commands, pulling off again. "I want you… to enjoy this… for a while longer." She starts sucking him more slowly, teasingly, hollowing her cheeks and humming.

"Kate, please..." he begs in a gravelly voice. His hips buck and thrust into her mouth in desperation. He reaches down and grabs a handful of her hair again, tugging gently but firmly. "I'm close... so fucking close!"

Kate gags when he hits the back of her throat unexpectedly. Trying to keep her composure, she reminds herself to relax. Even so, tears begin to form in her eyes. As she sucks him off, her tongue swirls around his tip over and over again. He looks physically pained as his face twists, trying to hold back but failing.

"Kate!" he practically shouts, his orgasm crashing over him like a tidal wave. He comes hard in her mouth, filling it to the brim with his thick, hot seed. His body shudders violently as wave after wave of pleasure ripples through him. Finally spent, he releases her hair, panting heavily.

Kate attempts to take it all down her throat at once, but there's just so much. Some of it dribbles out of her mouth and runs down her chin as she continues to swallow it down little by little. She breathes heavily through her nose as she gazes upon him, watching his chest rising and falling rapidly. His eyes are half-lidded, a satisfied smile on his lips. He reaches out a shaking hand to brush away the excess cum from her face and chin.

Kate smiles at him, her blue eyes shining. She readjusts and lets herself fall down next to Sebastian on the bed, pulling his arm around her so she can snuggle against his chest. "I love you... I just want to please you, Sebastian. I want to... to help you make up for the happiness and time you lost in Azkaban. If I can." She kisses his chest, lingering.

"You already have, Kate," he whispers into her ear. "You've brought me back from the brink of despair. I thought I'd never feel alive again until you came into my life." He cups her face in his hands, tilting it up so their eyes lock. "Thank you. Forever and always."

They kiss tenderly for several minutes, then resume their cuddling. 

"I feel so safe, so loved with you," Kate whispers, then takes a deep breath. His affection has given her bravery. "I... I don't ever want to be parted from you, my moon." Her cheeks go pink. She takes his hand and intertwines their fingers. "It's... it's like you said, Sebastian. It's early to say that, but... it's the truth. It's how I really feel. I think our lives are intertwined forever now."

"Yes," he tells her, his eyes welling up with tears upon hearing her say it. He leans down and plants a gentle kiss on her forehead. "We belong together, Kate. I knew I needed your love from the moment I first laid my eyes on you."

"And I knew the moment we touched that there was something special between us," Kate admits. "The first time we kissed, it was like… I knew deep down that it would be my last first kiss." She pulled his head down to smooch him again.

"My last first kiss," he echoes. "I'm so glad it was you. I’m so glad you feel the same way, my sun." He rolls onto his side, wrapping his arm around her waist and pulling her closer still. "So, what do you say? Shall we stay here all day or...?" He winks teasingly.

Kate laughs. "I suppose not all day, but... I wouldn't mind a lazy morning in bed with you. Maybe we can have breakfast in bed?"

"Sounds perfect," he agrees. "I'll whip up something for us." He kisses her again before reluctantly pulling away. Standing up, he stretches his long legs. Before he heads towards the kitchen, Kate ogles his muscular, naked body. As soon as he walks off, she scoots into the warm spot he left behind in bed, pulling the covers closer and closing her eyes contentedly in relaxation.

In the kitchen, Sebastian hums to himself as he starts preparing breakfast. He rummages through cupboards and quickly figures out what he can make with the ingredients at hand. He prepares eggs, toast with jam, and tea. He washes some blueberries in the sink.

Entering the bedroom once more, he sees Kate curled up in bed, her beautiful form illuminated by the light filtering through the curtains. A small smile tugs at the corner of his lips as he sets the tray down beside her. 

"Breakfast is ready when you are," he says softly, climbing back into bed and pulling her close once more.

Sebastian kisses her forehead and puts his arm around her as she sits up. Kate nuzzles into his warmth, kissing his bare, freckle-dusted shoulder. Her bare breasts pop out of the covers as she lifts her arms to fix her hair. She quickly moves to cover her chest, but Sebastian places his hand on the sheets as if to tell her not to.

"Please, don't hide yourself from me, Kate," he murmurs softly. His eyes travel downwards, taking in the sight. His voice deepening, he continues, "I've seen you naked several times now, but it never gets old. You're beautiful, my love." 

He reaches out and trails a fingertip along her collarbone before cupping her chin between his thumb and index finger, tilting her face upwards. Their gazes lock for a moment, their hearts beating in sync. Both of them lean in, their lips meeting tenderly and slowly. 

"I love you, my moon. I don't want to say goodbye to you later today. I don't want to go to sleep alone tonight. I don’t want to have to get up for work in the morning.” She pouts. “I want to wake up every morning next to you and spend it lazily. Hours in bed," Kate tells him, grinning now. "I'm so happy, my love. So happy to have you here with me. I just never want this feeling to end." 

"Me too," he agrees, his voice breaking slightly. "At least we can still spend the whole day together." He reaches down and picks up a piece of toast smothered in strawberry jam and hands it to her.

After they finish eating, they snuggle back together, their bodies pressed tightly against each other. Kate rests her head on his chest, listening to his steady heartbeat while Sebastian strokes her hair idly.

“About last night…” Kate breaks the silence. “I want to tell you something about myself so you understand where I am coming from as well.”

“Yes, please, go ahead,” Sebastian encourages, brushing a stray piece of hair that has fallen into her face.

“I might have mentioned this quite some time ago,” she explains. “My last serious relationship ended about two years ago. It was not a healthy one at all.”

Sebastian’s brows furrow, gazing at her in worry about what she was about to tell him.

“When I graduated from Hogwarts, I moved back home with my parents. I got a job in a bookshop in a nearby village, and that’s where I met him. His name was Joel Kingsbury. He was a few years older than me - I was 20. We met at the bookshop. He came in and asked me to help him find some books. I was perhaps too kind, made too many recommendations… and he started to come into the shop all of the time. He seemed sweet and very obviously interested in me. One day, he asked me out for tea, and I agreed. I thought he was charming and romantic, and we began seeing each other. It all started so great. I fell in love very quickly. My life had been pretty boring since graduation, and suddenly, things were exhilarating again.” Kate explained. 

She glanced up at Sebastian to make sure he was listening. “I chose not to listen to my intuition, over and over again. Joel… was not who I thought he was. He was possessive and completely jealous. He would create huge fights about how I chose to spend my time and who I spent it with. If I saw my friends, it was only because I wanted to leave him for one of my male friends. If I wanted to spend time with my family or visit my sister while she was at Hogwarts, he would throw a fit because I was choosing them over him. It was always a competition.” 

She paused. “The final straw for me was when my friends from Hogwarts decided to rent a cabin one winter for New Year’s Eve. There wasn’t enough room in the cabin to bring significant others, so it was just going to be our original old Hufflepuff crew… and my friends did not like Joel. I should have realized that that was an issue, too, but I just kept rationalizing it to myself by thinking that they just didn’t understand him and that only I did. So, anyway, I went to the cabin with my friends. Joel had asked me to contact him via Floo that night, which was a reasonable request, but once I did, he kept me talking to him for hours while my friends visited and celebrated downstairs. He shouted at me about how I was a terrible girlfriend for leaving him behind. He accused me of wanting to cheat on him with not just one but two of my male friends. It could not have been further from the truth.”

She sighed, and Sebastian took her hand. “He told me that if I walked away from the Floo, he would… h-hurt himself. I felt like I had no choice. I sat and talked with him about mundane things for hours, while my friends, some of whom I rarely saw, got to catch up without me. A few of my friends kept checking on me upstairs to make sure everything was alright, and I had to pretend I wasn’t crying. It was humiliating, Sebastian. I sobbed when I could hear them celebrate the clock striking midnight. Joel finally left the Floo a half hour afterwards - of course when all of my friends were completely drunk and falling asleep.”

“That’s horrible,” Sebastian finally said, squeezing her hand.

It’s clear to him that this is hard for Kate to say. “When I returned home on New Year’s Day, I had resolved to break up with him. I met him at his flat. The moment the door closed, he screamed at me for ages about how I was unfaithful to him. I cried and told him we were done. He started to panic and threatened to hurt himself again. I kept my resolve and insisted that no matter what he said, I was breaking up with him. When I said that, Joel picked up a glass and threw it at the wall, just a few feet from my head. I ran out of his flat.

“Afterwards, he tried to contact me via Floo, and at first, I was polite and would chat with him for a few minutes before making an excuse. Then, he began to show up at my parents’ home with gifts. Eventually, I instructed our maid to pretend I was not at home. Finally, he began to stalk me at the bookshop, where I could not escape him. Every time Joel would come in, he’d bring flowers and make a huge scene. My boss started to get upset because I was always hiding in the back room instead of stocking books. I was pretty sure I was going to be let go, so… even though I loved that job, I quit.” Kate sighed, frowning, tears forming in her eyes.

“He started sending owls every day - sometimes twice a day. Some of the letters were Howlers. I would never answer him back. Weeks later, he was still showing up at my parents’ home looking for me. That’s when I realized I had to leave Epping Forest. He would never let up otherwise.” She looked off into the distance. “And… that is when I found the job posting at Hogwarts and when I purchased my cottage. My parents didn’t want me to move - they thought I’d be safer with them, and they didn’t think - well, my mamma didn’t think - a ‘lady of my station’ needed a full-time job. But I had to go.”

“I… I didn’t realize that that was the full reason you live here,” Sebastian replied. He saw a tear fall from her eye and brushed it away. “I’m so sorry you went through something like that. You didn’t deserve to be treated that way. You hadn’t done anything wrong.” He leaned down so look into her eyes. “Kate, you’re… quite strong. Brave. I had no idea.”

“It took me some time to learn that it was not my fault. I had years to reflect.” She paused for a long while. “I never want to feel trapped like that again. I need a partner who will not keep me from family and friends. Someone who will trust me completely.” 

Kate’s eyes flick back up to Sebastian’s. He inhales, finally realizing the point of the story. 

“Sebastian, do you understand?” she asks.

He nods. “Yes, I understand, my love.” He brings her hand to his lips. “Thank you for telling me. I promise that I will try my best to control my jealousy.” He pauses. “If there’s ever something bothering you, please tell me - don’t keep your feelings bottled inside. You’re… you’re my future, Kate. I want to be the best partner I can be for you. I mean it with all my heart. I love you.” 

Sebastian wraps his arms around Kate, holding her tight. “I trust you.”

[immobiliter]

so now that i’ve had furina living rent free in my head as a muse for a while, i think it is interesting to consider what she would actually be like in a relationship. i still consider myself to be pretty picky when it comes to romantic shipping for her as her post-aq arc is centred on her healing from her trauma ( and i am honestly not a fan of the whole “romantic love can save someone” trope. i think love of any kind can be a transformative force and she absolutely needs a support network, but i don’t think getting into a romantic relationship can suddenly “fix” her, far from it ) and she’s also just tricky to get close to. romantic and sexual attraction is not something she has ever allowed herself to indulge in for five hundred years so she needs someone with an incredible amount of patience who she would befriend and learn to trust first before anything else could plausibly develop. she hasn’t kissed or been intimate with anyone in that time, but also chances are she hasn’t been hugged by anyone in that time either ( if you don’t count this happening while she’s performing in some opera or play ). her sense of touch starvation is on another level, truly

she also doesn’t really know who she is. obviously that journey of self discovery will take some time but really important as well is furina learning to accept lady furina, the constructed performance that is a part of her whether she likes it or not. there is such a deep rooted loathing in her for the part of herself she created in order to function for centuries, and while she definitely strives to be a better person now that she no longer has to hide her humanity, she will only move on in a healthy way once she can make peace with the pint sized prima donna lording over the opera epiclese like it was her playground

but hypothetically if and when she overcomes these initial obstacles, given all we know of furina’s devotion to saving her people, it’s likely that she would channel that same intense devotion and loyalty towards a partner and would put them above herself in any given situation - especially given that she has nowhere else to put this propensity towards self-sacrifice post aq. but while you could never ask for a more loyal partner, it brings with it its own dangers too. the main complaint of furina’s story quest is the characters around her ( traveler and paimon in particular ) not respecting her boundaries and pushing her into going out on stage at the end of the quest despite her insistence throughout that she never wants to perform on stage again. and even though furina tries to assert those boundaries time and again, she does eventually give in so as to not jeopardise the theatre troupe’s performance. she therefore needs someone who respects and helps enforce her boundaries and doesn’t take advantage of them ( as would be pretty easy to do to her because everything she has done for centuries has been in the interests of her country and not herself )

so tl;dr; furina would likely settle for any kind of positive attention if she was put into such a situation, but what she really needs is someone patient, understanding and respectful of the fact that getting close to her will take time and a lot of support

[vibraniumarm06-bucket]

A Friendly Smile From the Past - 3

A/N: Thank you so much to everyone who has been loving this story! It really means a lot to me! I am so sorry about the late update! I have been busy getting used to being back at university and I wasn't sure if I was happy with this chapter. Please let me know what you think!

Series Masterlist || Main Masterlist

After a while of silence, Thor’s voice fills the space “We didn’t mean to leave you both fully out… it’s just… well Nat you decided to stay back here and we thought Y/N was in New York until Bucky told us you weren’t… we just decided you both wouldn’t want to see meetups that you wouldn’t be able to come”. He sighs softly his eyebrows scrunching hoping he had worded that properly.

Nat and I just remained silent taking in this information. The bell rings again and my eyes fall upon Bucky who walks in, his hands shoved in his pockets taking his place beside Steve. I’ve always noticed that when he isn’t feeling confident or is feeling nervous he inches closer to Steve. He’s done it ever since we were little. 

“We should be able to move past this right? We were friends and still are friends - time doesn’t change that fact” Wanda says a determined look in her eye. She always had a stubborn side and would always win a lot of the arguments that occurred. 

“ Uh okay…” falls out of my mouth, quickly glancing at Nat who nods stiffly. The first step is to talk things through to fix the distance we all seem to feel. That will seem to come through explanation. “Why don’t we all catch up?” she says softly while ushering everyone towards the biggest booth in the back of the bar that would fit us all. I look towards Clint for help getting alcohol because boy oh boy will we need it. 

As we head over with glasses, bottles of alcohol and mixers, after placing them on the table I look around and notice I’ll need to bring over a stool to fit in the space. However, before I could move Clint pulls me into his lap and a little squeal escapes my lips in shock at the action. “You comfy?” He asks and I nod my head blushing not catching the fact that Bucky’s jaw clenches and his hands tighten on the table in front of him making him look uncomfortable. I lean back and tilt my head up so my mouth is on his ear “ You sure you’re fine with me sitting on you?” I whisper into his ear. He chuckles from my breath tickling his ear “ Yes sugar, I’m getting great pleasure from this” , he whispers back glancing in Bucky’s direction with a slight smirk gracing his face. 

Everyone slowly begins to talk about everything that has happened in their lives since we left college. I listen intensely wanting to capture every word falling out of their mouths. Thor worked his way up in a construction company, Bruce is a head surgeon at a top hospital, Sharon was currently working for a mayor, Tony and Pepper had gotten married and had built a tech empire that has spread across the globe. Wanda and Vis are engaged. Wanda teaches in a high school while Vis works an office job for Tony. Sam owns and runs his own restaurant in NYC which has become very popular. Steve is still playing football as a professional. 

While Steve is talking about playing football and his life I observe Nat and how she clings to every word spoken. The emotion in her eyes makes my heart ache, I even see a glimpse of hope when Steve mentions that he is still single. His eyes shift towards Nat as he says this and I know deep down that he wants her back. I feel Clint squeeze my hip knowing he saw what I had. After Steve finishes he nods towards Nat who mentions that she’s been living here and working as my personal assistant while also picking up a few skills in the legal world along the way. She then looks between Bucky and me to see who is going to go next. 

I open my mouth to speak but Bucky beats me to it. “I don’t understand why I have to explain what has happened in my life to people who didn’t want to stick around to be in it,” he says, his voice harsh, I can feel the cold sneaking into my heart, each word a jab. I watch Clint roll his eyes “Oh please, get off your high horse. Like you don’t know Nat and Y/N’s personalities and there must have been a good reason or they believed they had a good reason as to why they decided to do what they did” . 

Bucky scoffs his lips pouting slightly, a tell that he isn’t actually angry he’s disappointed, but you have to look closely to tell. He’s disappointed that I didn’t tell him what was happening. I look at the table when I feel his stare on me. I don’t want him to know that I can still read him even after all this time apart. “Fine. I worked my way up the ladder in my father’s NYC company site and took over as CEO”. My eyes flicker up in surprise meeting his knowing that he never wanted to be a CEO. I purse my lips ready to ask why he took over but he starts talking about how he helped invest in Sam’s restaurant as a side business. After he finishes speaking about what he’s been up to, he turns slightly to face me “Your turn, why didn’t you come to NYC?” He spits out but as I meet those beautiful blues I can see the truth swimming behind them ‘Why didn’t you tell me?’ . 

I sigh softly as I know this is what everyone is most looking forward to. I take a deep breath in and let it out slowly as I begin. 

“Okay, bear with me while I explain this,” I say my voice wobbly as I feel everyone’s gaze on me. “When we were in university, I told everyone that I had taken up tutoring some law papers. I had tutored, but some of the tutoring sessions were actually helping take dad to the hospital for his appointments. In our final year, Dad found out he had terminal cancer, with his separation from mum I was the only one he could really rely on. So, even though our relationship was rocky I stuck by his side. He didn’t want anyone to know, he made me swear by it. I helped him through his treatments and when university was about to end, his health took a turn for the worst. I declined my job offer in NYC, and I got someone to take over my lease. Nat actually found me sneaking out one night and followed me back to Dad’s place as he was having trouble taking his medicine. He thought I had ratted to Nat - it was not a good night. I took a position close to home so that I could be there for Dad and Mum. I know I didn’t tell you guys and maybe I should have but I didn’t want to have to burden you all with this.” I sigh softly before looking at Steve “I’m incredibly sorry that because of my familial problems, Nat decided to stay here with me instead of moving with you”.

Steve looks upset but shakes his head. “Don’t be ridiculous, if she didn’t stay then she wouldn’t be Nat. That’s who she is, growing up she always chose you over everyone and you would do the same. Sure it would have been nice to be included in the big picture as to what was happening but I understand why you chose not to tell us.” The soft smile on his face eases my nerves. 

Bucky’s hand slams against the table and the sound echoes a bit, glasses shake a little “But why couldn’t you tell us, why couldn’t you tell me? I thought we were best friends?” “Buck, I-” “It’s James to you” I jerk back taken in surprise and I feel tears begin to form in my eyes. I nod my head slowly coming to terms with him wanting me to call him James. A name he reserves for those he does not feel comfortable with, for those he is acquaintances with, and for those he is not close with. I bite my lip to keep myself from crying, I can feel Clint rubbing my back in comfort, his other hand clenched in a fist. 

As I begin to speak again the bell on the front door rings. Everyone’s heads turn to see who it is. I squint my eyes in confusion as to why my intern Peter is at the door with his girlfriend holding a yellow envelope. “Uh sorry to interrupt” he speaks. 

“What do you want Parker? I’m on bereavement leave, anything work-related stays away from me” I spit out annoyed. 

“Miss Y/N, this is urgent. It arrived two hours ago, I’ve been trying to get a hold of you since then. I know it’s not ideal but I had to give you a warning.” My face scrunches up in annoyance as I stand up and as I see the envelope I take a step back and hold my hand out in front of me to stop him from coming closer. 

“Parker, if that is what I think it is, keep it away from me.” I gulp slowly fear beginning to creep in. I glance at Nat her eyes widened as she stands up, holding onto my arm as she takes in the envelope. A soft “No” falls from her lips.

“It is. He’s out on bail.”

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