#I’ve been TORMENTED by his fucking song since I was 2?????

[barneysbigstompers]

Chucky and Jeepers creepers would scare the everliving shit out of me from when I was 4 to 8 genuinely NO ANNEBELLE SCARED THE EVERL8NGI SHIT OUTOF ME I WOULD CRYY

[sirthisisa-wendys]

Hi i just read your work and it is amazing!!!! Buuut, if its possible can you make a part 2 of Scraps? Like, the first one was so good... it kinda needs a sequel😂😂 if thats possible

Had to think about what I would write for a little bit, but I think I've got it.

Scraps (Part 2): Rindou Haitani, Ran Haitani, Kakucho Hitto, Sanzu Haruchiyo, Manjiro Sano, Hajime Kokonoi, and Takeomi Akashi x Fem!Reader

wc: 1.9k

tw: NSFW

masterlist

song recommendation:

A pussy clenching, breath hitching, thighs squeezing mess.

That's what you're reduced to as you're in class, the soundless, dual vibrator/clit sucking device hidden neatly in your underwear.

Ever since you'd been introduced to the Alpha boys, they'd made you their personal plaything. And you didn't really mind; it was something to do when things got boring around the sorority house. But sometimes... they'd take their experiments out of your scope of knowledge.

This was one of them.

You were given the toy and told that if you could hold off on cumming for twelve hours, you'd be rewarded with whatever you wanted. But you couldn't take it out, you couldn't tell anyone - oh, and you didn't know who had the remote to it. The device is only controlled by a discreet, white remote, and any one of the seven men could have it, changing the speed or the pattern of vibrations of the device. Right now, it's on a pulsing cycle, making you squirm slightly in your seat as the professor lectures about art history.

You're sitting in the very back of the lecture hall where no one would sit if they wanted to pass the class. But you're content with today being an off-day. You need to survive this challenge, first.

You can't help but think of the various dicks that would be yours for the choosing once you finish today's challenge. But it's only ten o'clock.

Ten more hours.

Around twelve, you're trying your best to keep yourself calm, sitting on the edge of your seat while you attempt a test. The speed changes from pulsing to a dull vibration, giving you a brief break from the jolts of pleasure that go straight to your clit.

"Ms. Y/n, can you come up to my desk, please? Bring your test." You look up at your professor, who is cooking her finger at you. For a moment, you wonder if she's caught on to your little predicament, but when you approach her desk, she takes your test and crumples it up before throwing it in the trash, much to your surprise. "I forgot to tell you that you have an A in the class, so you don't need to take this test." You sigh in relief, just as the vibration changes to a more intense sensation. You tense up, clenching your legs before thanking your professor and leaving the classroom quickly.

You can't take much more of this.

Around three pm, you're laying in the sorority house, face down in a pillow as you moan, the feeling of an orgasm building on top of the other six or seven ruined orgasms from earlier. But you stuff this one down with the others, tears decorating your pillowcase as you sob in frustration.

Five more hours.

_____________________________________________________________

At six o'clock, you're at your breaking point.

Dinner is at seven, but you can't even focus on anything except the buzzing between your legs. You're hazy, staring at yourself in the mirror and blinking slowly. There had been no relief, no naps, no rest from the torment, but the pink device inside of you persisted, making you want to cum over and over again. All you can do is think about algebra or something disappointing to prevent yourself from cumming all over the device and losing the challenge.

Suddenly, your phone begins to chime, and you raise it to your face, seeing "Alpha House" on the screen.

"Hello?" you breathe into the receiver, and you hear a chuckle on the other end.

"Are you okay, princess?" It's Mikey. The vibrator begins to pulse again, and you bite your lip.

"Y-yeah, I'm fine. What's going on?"

"Come by the house at seven-thirty. The boys are excited to see you." Mikey hangs up the phone and you stifle a loud moan, trying to keep yourself together before you meet the boys.

One hour left.

At seven-thirty, you're standing at the door of the house, and the vibrator is going crazy. You almost didn't make it across the campus without your legs going weak, but you prop yourself up against the door with a hand, quivering at you wait for the boys to answer the door.

"Little sister..." Ran answers the door, his violet eyes observing your quaking figure. "You made it." You try to step through the door, but Ran catches you in his arms, stooping to pick you up. He holds you against his chest, cooing into your ear about how you're such a good girl, and how they're going to take good care of you before the night is over. You're deposited in the den, where the other guys are, and Ran parts your legs with tender fingers, revealing the device nestled inside of your panties.

"All day, huh?" Sanzu wonders, sitting across from you on the couch and stroking your thigh. "You're such a good girl for us. Kakucho, Rindou, and Kokonoi didn't think you would make it."

"We placed bets," Rindou explains, forking his cash over to his brother with a small sigh. "But you proved me wrong." Mikey appears, his black eyes roaming over all of those present in the room before sliding and focusing on your half-dazed self on the couch, legs spread and shaking.

"Ready to guess who had the remote today?" You nod, breath quivering as you look around the room at the men. Your first bet would be on Sanzu, but you figure guessing him would be too obvious. Your second guess would be Rindou, but he also seemed like the most obvious. So you're left with Kakucho, Kokonoi, Mikey, Takeomi, and Ran. "You get three guesses."

Three guesses. Five men.

"M-Mikey?" Various members of the frat shake their heads. Of course, Mikey wouldn't, he just comes up with the ideas. Takeomi seems almost too bored with you, so he's off the list, too. Two guesses and four men. A twenty-five percent chance of getting it right.

"Kakucho?" He shakes his head, leaning on the back of a chair and blinking slowly.

"One more guess."

Kokonoi or Ran. Fifty-percent chance of getting it right. Kokonoi had a class with you today, but you didn't see him move his hands around as you watched from the back of the class at all. But the sensation also didn't change during the class. You have to take a chance, though.

"Ran." The violet-eyed man smiles, then produces the white remote from his pants.

"Smart girl."

"But how--"

"On Wednesdays, my work-study has me all over campus. Every time I saw you or walked by the sorority house, I'd change the vibration." Sanzu chuckles then looks at his watch.

"It's time, ain't it?" Mikey pulls your underwear off, leaving the lacy thing on the floor before looking at the device, then back at you.

"You earned yourself some extra credit," he begins. "Are you ready for us, pretty girl?"

"Yes," you keen, jerking your hips up. "Yes, I am."

"Good." Mikey slides the vibrator out of you and puts it up to your lips so you can taste yourself. You suck the device slowly, fingers coming down to caress your swollen clit as you suck your juices off of it.

After this, he stands you up and bends you over the back of the couch, feeling a large, warm pair of hands on your hips. "I'm not going last this time," Takeomi mutters, pants down around his ankles. "Been waiting for this all day." You're more than prepared to take his length, your pussy squelching and sucking his cock into you. "Fuck, yeah..." The slapping sounds of your backside against Takeomi's hips begin, and you moan, feeling the relief of a cock filling you up.

The other six just watch, some with their dicks out, others palming themselves over their pants. Mikey, as usual, is standing at the back of the room, watching the scene before him with crossed arms. This is his foreplay.

He enjoys watching and listening to you squeal more than anything. He enjoys having control over six men who will bend you over and use you as a willing cum dump if necessary, like a breeder who requires his bulls to try their luck with you, the lone heifer.

And it's pleasurable enough for you to keep coming back for more.

"Why don't we record this one?" Sanzu wonders and Takeomi laughs.

"You're gonna have to ask little sister, here. She might not--"

"That-that's fine," you pant.

"Just a little POV thing," Ran adds, pulling out his phone. "Make it real nice, Takeomi." You look back and watch the man inside of you point the phone at the space between your hips, watching his cock go in and out of you with a smile on his face.

"Look at that pussy... she's creaming all over my cock..."

And each frat brother waits his turn to cum in you, with Ran's being the most you've ever felt inside of you at one time, and Sanzu's being the roughest. Kokonoi is taking his turn when you feel cum sliding down your leg, and when he's done, cum drains out of you in a small flood. Your fingers, which have been running over your clit and bringing you close to climaxing, are covered in it, and you want so desperately to stick them inside of yourself and then suck them dry.

Kakucho takes his time bringing you pleasure, tweaking your nipples, and running his tongue down your back and up again. You suppose someone else is filming you two, because both of his hands are on your body as he pumps you full of cum, ghosting his fingers over the slight bulge from his long cock.

Rindou is last, and you watch Mikey pull out his own cock, stroking it while Rin slams his hips into you, making you moan louder than you thought possible. He grips your neck from behind, choking you lightly as you let drool run past your lips and onto the couch. You hear Ran complimenting his brother on his fucking, and your raise on your tiptoes, praying his dick would stop slamming into your cervix.

"Take it," Rin whispers in your ear. "You can take it, sweet girl." You choke out a cry, then grip the couch for all it's worth as Rindou lets himself go. When he pulls out, Mikey stands, his eyes focused on your face as he walks around the couch, taking the phone from Ran and pointing it at your filled and abused pussy.

"Push it all out for me, sweetheart." You obey, feeling the cum leak out of you rapidly before Mikey stands, swiping his cockhead over your pussy lips. "You haven't cum yet?" You shake your head, breathing heavily. "Go ahead and cum on my dick." Mikey enters you and fiddles with your swollen clit, bringing you back to the edge and not relenting. You get no warning prior to the orgasm crashing over you; the feeling of release almost taking you out.

"Oh my fucking god," you cry out, and Mikey pistons his hips a little faster as you clench around him.

"That's a good pussy," he grunts, left hand gripping your hip while he cums inside of you, growling low in his throat. When he's done, he backs away, watching you push out his cum, too. "Now I want you to get on the floor and lick it up," he orders you. "Lick all of our cum up."

You get on your knees and lick the puddle off the polished wooden floor, each man watching you with slack jaws. When you're done, you show Mikey your tongue. He approaches you, grabs your throat, and spits in it, closing your mouth as you swallow that, too.

"Such a good little slut, aren't you?"

[valenhell]

From the studio that brought you “I can’t find good Byler fics in the ao3 tag”, comes:

"The Definitive Byler fic rec list"

Literally no one asked for this but because I spent the majority of last year (...and 2019, and 2018...) reading byler fics and coping with life, I thought I’d make a list of some of my absolute favorites. 

The other day I was basically starving for some byler fics and the angel @magicalfairy provided me with some of her faves so I thought I’d do the same, because I love reading, and I love all of these fics and I appreciate their writers💗 And fic writers in general, come on!

- This is a mix of long works and one-shots/short stories. - Everything is mostly fluff with a tad of angst and a lot of internalized homophobia conflict.  - Every fic is completed, except for the ones I mention that they are not. - I try my best to lay out the stories in a way that I won’t spoil you the plot but also warning you of some stuff you might don’t like. Either way, all of these fics are correctly tagged by their respective authors/owners, so read at your own risk. For better understanding, in between brackets I denote Rating, Words and quantity of Chapters. - I feel like I should clarify, none of these are narrated in the singular first person. None of that “And I told him...”, no. 

Long fics

a dream always the same (T, 99k, 35 chapters) What happened in those few weeks between the Battle of Starcourt and the Byers leaving Hawkins. Literally a satisfying and very needed fill in of season three, with a good dose of Mike’s thoughts and conflict. Mike’s characterization is specially amazing in this one. The writing style is amazing and I know the author put everything into making it historically accurate, and it was really sweet. You probably read it, it’s by the amazing sevensided here on Tumblr🧡

Spring Break (T, 120k, 14/15 chapters) The slowburn of my dreams. Lots of internalized conflict and conflict with each other. Conflict within the Party (uhh kind of), conflict with Mike and Will. Byers family has moved and the kids are visiting! Chaos. Characterization is on point. Yeah, I know it’s unfinished, but the fourteenth chapter actually serves as a pretty nice ending. 

This is where it starts (M, 148.8k, 24 chapters) Aged up characters. The Party is in college and Will disappears again, but now it’s different. Mike knows he didn’t vanish from thin air, and the discovery he and the Party end up making is pretty insane. Mystery solving/fantasy/third dimension, throw in a bit of D&D and Mike realizing some shit, and you get this marvelous fic. It’s a breath of fresh air. The world building is definitely one of the elements that stands out the most, because it’s very nicely described, it sounds like a dream and it’s completely immersive. Absolute gem of a fic. 

there’s a Starman waiting in the sky (M, 30.6k, 8 chapters) Do I need to say anything? Will is out there living his best life and Mike realizes that wow, umm, maybe his best friend looks a bit too nice with that costume... and wait, is he getting horny? It’s actually really fun and sexy.

The Evening Speaks (T, 23k, 7 chapters) In where Mike is a late-night college radio host and Will is the art student that stays up till late to catch up with Wheeler on the Mic. They flirt through songs y’all, this one is really sweet. 

heads or tails? (E, 24k, 3 chapters) Aged up characters. I know most people don’t enjoy sex in fics and with specific characters but this one is insanely well written. It’s a slowburn that commits to the tension and with every word you are grasping and anticipating their next move. I think you can find the author here on Tumblr as yousaidyes🧡

The Man of Average (M, 56.7k, 5/? chapters) Aged up characters. No but you don’t understand, the writing here is absolute gourmet. The story is exciting as well, it’s super interesting. Weirdly enough, for being very aged up characters, they are well characterized but they don’t feel like teenagers. They are naturally Mike and Will. The author really captured Mike and Will’s essence. I know, it’s unfinished and it’s updated very rarely, but this is the typical fic you can’t believe someone just posted on the internet for free. I will say though, I think it’s definitely not for everyone. Read at your own risk.

Heartstrings (E, 82.8k, 24/? chapters) Aged up characters. By the same author of The Man of Average. A collection of memories, the road to Mike and Will’s happy ever after. And fucking hell!!!!! You’ll cry and get angry, you’ll cheer for them, then you’ll want to crash their faces together because god dammit you love each other!!! But yeah, same thing here. The writing and the way the story is laid out as a nonlinear narrative is brilliant. And I also think this is one of the best Will versions I’ve read. The author might as well be the og creator of this two characters tbh. You can find the author here as mylesimeblr🧡

Sinners behind the walls (T, 1.5k, 1/1) And because I can’t stop recommending this author, a little thing of Mike tormenting himself but also being too deeply committed to Will. 

The Red Envelope series (T/E, 167K, two completed works) Something happens that Will thought was impossible and from there, pure drama and romance. Anything by this author has the potential to become your absolute favorite fic, but this series in particular is amazing. I doubt that any of you haven’t read this, but it doesn’t hurt to put it in this list. I’m pretty sure the author is serendipitous-magic on Tumblr🧡

A New Fight series (T, 91k, two completed works, one WIP) And finally the Star Wars AU that we all needed. But this isn’t your typical “Mike is Han”, “Will is Leia” and “El is Luke”, it’s way more interesting than that, and the author has appropriated the Star Wars world like no other. I’ll admit I’m not a 100% fluent in SW lore but this is amazing to me either way. This author is also on Tumblr, tea-for-one-please🧡

- Yes, most of these are (if not all), in a way, canon compliant/canonverse/canon continuation into fanon. (In a way)

One-shots and short stories

Sundae for Two, Please (G, 4.8k) Steve being the supportive friend and older brother these kids collectively need. (not Jonathan erasure, we love him). Steve is very sweet himself, and this little cute thing through his POV is gorgeous. Yes, it’s byler.

Backstage (T, 10k, 2/2) Jonathan, you forgot to mention to Will how hot your new band’s guitarist is, dude. Now he’s hyperventilating and weirdly flirting with him in the corner. Background Stonathan because why not.

102 Peach Street (G, 3.8k) Established relationship, but not only that, they are married :’’))) PURE fluff. Extreme fluffiness. Diabetes. 

sweatshirts and bottled up feelings (T, 3.2k) Or, Mike thinks that the sweatshirt Will wears looks insanely good on him. And kitchens are for lovers. 

kiss it better (T, 16.3k) Basically one of the best character studies of a few precise moments of Mike and Will’s relationship and feelings. 

will wonders ever cease (T, 11.3k) #i ship will and happiness. Omfg what a beautiful piece of fanfic. Will centric, this kid really deserves all the good in the world.

The Calm After the Storm (T, 1.6k) Tooth rotting fluff, boyfriends in love. Boyfriends being lazy, cuddling, love words, kisses. Boys loving each other’s company... Basically, Mike and Will in their element. What more can you ask for?

neither of us ready to let go (T, 4.8k) That scene from season three, but a bit of a fix it. 

Still in love (G, 1k) Domestic, married life au fluff. Y’all, I’m a sucker for established Byler, even if I can’t find many fics with it. But this is very sweet. It takes place in 2020, but I don’t think there are any mentions of the COVID-19 crisis that I remember.

I Nver Find Out ‘Til I’m Head Over Heels (G, 12.5K) Classic 5+1 fic. If you haven’t read it, where have you been? This is your moment. In where Mike keeps inviting Will to the school dances and Will thinks it’s just a joke until he realizes it’s not. 

Before You’re Gone (T, 5.9k) Will is leaving Hawkins and Mike thinks this is a great moment for a confession. This one I discovered last friday, thank you friend @magicalfairy 💗

You’re weird Wheeler (M, 4.5k) Mike unintentionally starts a tradition of going to each other to talk about their sexual encounters just after they finish. Will keeps getting more explicit with the details he shares, and he makes his best friend interested. This one is really fun y’all.

Out-Of-Town Friends (N/R, 4.6K) It’s not rated. I haven’t re- read it but I’d say it would probably fall in a T rating. So cute!! Will has new friends and sneaks off every friday and the Party doesn’t know where he is going, so Mike decides to follow him and is surprised. 

Snowed Under (G, 1.3k) By the same author of The New Fight series. Mike is spending christmas by himself in college because a snowstorm hits Chicago and Nancy can’t drive to see him, but then he has a surprise visitor. Ahhh just a lil sweet holiday fic. Super cute. 

you love me anyway series (T, 7.1k, three completed works) Literally just the cutest thing ever. Established Byler. Will loves to take pictures and he loves taking pictures of Mike. It’s adorable. 

you wanna be friends forever (i can think of something better) (T, 9k) This one is so amazing. So. Amazing. From Will’s POV, my kid deserves the world and he gets it. 

okay not to be okay (T, 4.9k) Mike is a bit sad but then everything is okay. 

can’t hold out forever (G, 18.4k) Y’all!!!!! 5+1 sweetness. Mike has been falling in love since kindergarten. And it’s long af, you’ll enjoy it. 

even if it takes forever (G, 1.3k) College short AU, they miss each other, they love each other, they promise all to each other. It is sappy y’all.

clear as day (N/R, 18.4K, 4 chapters) It’s not rated, but I’d say it falls in the T category. Strangers to friends to lovers. And also, everyone is pretty gay; we have our dynamic trio Mike, Max and El as disaster lesbians (and gay). Will works at the library and he is also gay. Lucas and Dustin and Will are the best friends we needed. It’s very sweet and the Party is kind of formed here!

I went overboard with the one-shots, so you must have realized how much I love long one-shots and I favor them over long works lmao but they are all amazing!!! If it’s on this list, I probably read it at 2 am, sobbing in my bed. So. Hope you enjoy it☺️🧡

[spencersmagic]

a knife twists at the thought - SR

Prompt: a knife twists at the thought that i should fall short of the mark - Arctic Monkeys

Summary: Spencer is new to this, and the poor boy is terrified

Couple: Fem! Reader x Spencer Reid (i picture season 2/3 Spencer but y’all do you)

Category: angst

Word count: 3086 words

Warnings: general criminal minds stuff, mentions and descriptions of torture, descriptions of loss, HAPPY ENDING!!, my 3am writing, tooth rotting love, uhmm spoilers for Orwell’s 1984 (if anybody hasn’t read it), humiliation, Spencer crying and breaking my heart (lmk if you need anything warned or trigger tagged).

A/N This is very loosely based on 2x15 (VERY LOOSELY). I’m quite proud of this one :)

masterlist // 505 series taglist

*****

They say you never see it coming.

When a tragedy occurs, and someone’s life is turned upside down forever, they never see it coming. It just... hits them. Like an oncoming car ramming into a bystander who was just in the wrong place at the wrong time.

No one has time to prepare. In our time-starved lives, there is no place for such a warning.

One day, you just wake up. And they’re not next to you. They’ve disappeared, leaving the stickiest, most unforgettable parts of themselves behind for others to grieve to: the smell of their shampoo in the pillows they used to share, the seconds just as you wake when you still feel like you have them - only to gain full consciousness and realise they left you behind - even the fucking jars, which never seem to be open because he’s just not there to do it.

And you feel your heart breaking all over again as your soul sticks to the parts that couldn’t be erased with the rest of him as he left. Because you needed him, you had him, and now he’s gone. No warning, no letter, no signs which could’ve helped you foresee such a tragedy, because how could he? He didn’t disappear on purpose.

She doesn’t understand why he's so absent. So unequivocally missing. And the person she would turn to to ask these riddled questions isn’t there to answer. Because he’s gone.

But they’re not there yet.

And she feels so close to that feeling - the helplessness, the pain, the empty cups next to her bed because he always carried them to the sink when she was finished with her tea the mornings of those rare days they got to sleep in. Those days when they had time. She can practically touch, with the tip of her fingertips, the waves of pain that would surge over her if he was gone for one more fucking minute.

She has to remind herself, over and over again, like a mantra. He’s not gone yet.

The “yet” at the end of her mantra just breaks her all over again.

She was always the one to tell Spencer “if you worry before something happens, in case it goes wrong, and then it does, you’ve managed to suffer twice through something painful for absolutely no reason”. It usually worked. Needless to say, she felt like a hypocrite right about now.

Because Spencer is gone. And she doesn’t know how to bring him back.

She knows only to watch the monitor, never once blinking, taking in everything that happened in that damned livestream - every word, every sound, every reference. She can only try to hear anything over the whimpers and sobs her love was letting out as he’s tortured by that man. She can only hear the cracks of his knuckles against Spencers soft skin, the same soft skin she had kissed mere hours ago before telling him to “be careful”. Her own way of saying the three little words the couple was too young to hear. She can only see his lips parting, sobs rumbling out of his body as the unsub abuses his frame over and over again - same lips which had kissed her forehead before telling her “i always am”.

Then again, she isn’t sure if its his voice which is filling her head with painful sounds or if her mind is playing tricks on her, memorising the horrifying vibrations coming from his chest for her to ever consider anything else. She hasn’t stopped hearing him since she turned on that damned computer.

She isn’t sure she’ll ever stop hearing it.

**

As a man of great intellect, Spencer always recurred to knowledge to understand difficult occurrences in his life. Burying himself in textbooks, novels, poems, and even music to understand pain, and himself having a life filled with it, he was an incredibly knowledgeable man.

He knew much. But right now, he only knew one thing.

In Orwells’ 1984, as Winston was being tortured (much like Spencer is right now), Orwell described the following:

“Never, for any reason on earth, could you wish for an increase of pain. Of pain you could only wish one thing: that it should stop. Nothing in the world was so bad as physical pain. In the face of pain there are no heroes, no heroes”.

And, as a man who had acquired most of his intellect by immersing himself in trivial content in the face of pain, he found himself doing the same thing as the unsub hurt him over and over again, each blow seemingly more painful than the last. As his skin bruised, a causality of his abusers torment, he analysed the seemingly logical quote.

It must depend on the person, he was sure. In fact, a number of factors must be taken into consideration at this statement. For starters, Winston lives in a society incapable of any human feelings. There is only dominance, and those who attempt, in vain, to challenge it. Surely, if he had felt happiness, like the one you feel when the first day of spring rolls around, or like the one that creeps up on you as you look into the eyes of your loved one, surely, he would understand that some things can outweigh pain.

Love.

If Spencer’s mind could make sense of what he was feeling right now, he would understand, something he would figure of were he to leave this damned place, that he was thankful to the Gods, were there any, for having the unsub kidnap him and not Y/N.

Winston hadn’t understood emotional pain because emotions weren’t dealt with regularly. They were discouraged. That’s why he believed that there are no heroes in the face of pain. Because he doesn’t understand emotional pain.

He knew he was suffering. He also knew that Y/N was at the other side of the blinking camera suffering more than he could ever imagine.

**

They say emotional pain lasts 12 minutes. Anything one feels after this would be the aftermath of the cause of the pain in question. Pure emotional pain, the one you practically feel in your chest, the one that says “i can’t think, feel or be. not until this feeling dissipates”.

She had learned this from Spencer.

And she wished it were true. As she watched that damned monitor, she wished that all the venom the unsub was spewing at Spencer, all the verbal abuse, was long forgotten. She wished he could only feel the physical pain. Because the mind is incredibly stronger than the body - it could keep him awake, alive, for just enough time for the team to rescue him.

The entire team had huddled around the monitor around her. She was painfully aware that other people were seeing this. Which meant it wasn’t her imagination. It wasn’t another one of those damned dreams she would have when she slept a little too far away from Spencer’s touch.

They had only been together for two months, but his touch was all that could get her to fall asleep.

She jolted as the unsub landed another slap on Spencer’s cheek, swiftly grabbing his hair for him to look into the camera. He had a cut above his right cheek, just where she would kiss him in the mornings, and bruises all over his neck, jaw and left eye.

“Say hi to your team!” he mocked Spencer, chuckling darkly as he moved his almost lifeless body around for the team to watch in horror. Spencer let out a heartbreaking sob, feeling so vulnerable.

“Why don’t we make this interesting?” he jumped, as if he had gotten an idea. The unsub reached behind himself to grab a pistol, clicking off the magazine safety to put one bullet in one of the eight slots, leaving the other seven free. He pointed it at Spencer’s temple.

Her entire body shook the thought of seeing Spencer’s lifeless body, held up only by the ropes and that sick man’s grip around his curls. The same curls she grabbed as she kissed his face when she wanted his attention.

“I’m going to ask you some questions...” he said, voice dripping with sickening sweetness as he turned the roulette, “and if i don’t like your answer i’ll pull the trigger! Let God decide what I do with you. Sounds good?”. He wanted to humiliate Spencer.

However, Spencer made the mistake of not answering him. He was quickly reminded as the barrel of the gun pointed right between his eyes, pulling the trigger, a loud bang! sound expanding through the barn.

“I asked you a question!” he suddenly yelled into Spencer’s face.

“Y-yes, Sir” he whimpered, shaking at the ease at which the man pulled the trigger.

“Good, you’re learning”.

**

She experienced it by bits. Hotch’s hoarse voice. “Talk to me Garcia”. “We’ve got coordinates”. Everybody rushing to the SUVs. Tripping over her own feet on the way to the car. Morgan’s voice. The iPad, which still carried Spencer’s whimpers and the man mocking tone.

“I’ve got your diary, Spence” his sing-song voice didn’t match the disgusting man she was looking at. Nothing made sense.

“And I wanna know why...” he drew out the ‘y’ as he looked for something between the worn pages between his hands.

Of course she knew Spencer owned a diary. But she was mature enough to keep her hands to herself and her eyes on her own pages as he wrote on his, eyebrows creasing as he recalled all which he had experienced during the day. His face would twitch slightly at the memories, both good and bad, as he basically described his day word by word.

“...why did you wait until you were 24 to lose your virginity?” he asked in a clear attempt to humiliate and ridicule Spencer in front of his team.

“I-I didn't-” he could barely finish a word before a sob wrecking through his body at the humiliation, chest rumbling and voice wavering. “I didn’t want to lose it before, i w-wasn’t in a hurry” he rushed out. The man brought the pistol to his own chin, tapping it as he thought. “Hmm... I’m satisfied with your answer. Let’s dig deeper, shall we?” he asked as he went back into the pages.

“ooh! This one is new” that sick bastard was having fun with this, completely unaware that the team was less than 5 minutes away from their location.

“Care to read what you wrote three days ago? Right here” he turned the pages so Spencer could read them, though he was painfully aware of that entry he was talking about. His body shook violently. “P-please. D-don’t ma-make me do t-this” he whimpered, body feeling defeated.

“Wrong answer” the unsub said before pointing a gun at him and pulling the trigger.

A shriek was heard from the iPad. The SUV went silent.

“He’s alive” she whispered, unable to speak up. “He-” she swallowed. “He’s alive. We’re not there, yet” her mantra became a reminder that she hadn’t been quick enough to help him. She had the tools to save him. Every second she had the knowledge to save him and didn’t was another second she remained impotent at the risk of losing the love of her life.

Spencer’s voice spoke from the iPad.

“C-can you at-at leas-st turn off t-the ca-amera?” he said between sobs.

And it hit her.

What hurt him the most wasn’t the memories he had to relieve, but the fact that the rest of the team would have to hear his most intimate thoughts. His deepest secrets.

He could bare the pain. The humiliation? That broke him.

“Aww” the unsub chuckled mockingly, “are you embarrassed?” he said, slouching down to look into his eyes. “Well too fucking bad!” he screamed into his face, spitting with every word he spewed at him. Spencer’s sobs got louder.

“O-okay okay!” Spencer caved, accepting the journal that got shoved into his face.

“Read, pretty boy” the unsub sang. That son of a bitch was having fun.

“We’re two minutes away, Y/N” Hotch said. Maybe it was he sobs, which were barely audible to herself, having accepted them as second nature after all the heartbreak she was experiencing, but Hotch needed her to be okay.

His own heart thumped into his chest, feeling as helpless as he’d ever felt. Seeing a member of his team - someone he was supposed to take care of, someone he was supposed to keep safe - was sobbing as he was physically and emotionally tortured. But he was painfully aware of the feelings Y/N was experiencing. The sheer fear that was running down her veins at the idea of them running out of time.

After a few sobs, Spencer started reading, interrupting himself occasionally with his whimpers:

“It’s been three months. Today, three months, seven hours and forty-six minutes ago, she did what I didn’t have the courage to do. She asked me out. “I’ve been wanting to ask you pretty much since the day i met you” she had said. Those words keep ringing in my head like a beautifully written symphony, intrinsically designed to make me face my deepest fears. Opening my scars one by one, dissecting them and reaching the simple conclusion that i was a coward.

She didn’t say it, but what she meant was “i’ve been waiting for you to do it, but you never did, so i had to”. We wasted time - a time so precious and sacred - because i was a coward.

I’ve never felt like this before. I never understood a love so deep as to move something so stubborn as the human spirit. I’ve read textbook after textbook, and novel after novel, and still I’ve never learned more than with her. But I was a coward. And i wasted her time. I fear that I still am.

A knife twists at the thought that i should fall short of the mark. It’s impossible for me to ever be enough for her”.

Her heart broke at this confession. Even worse at the thought that he wouldn’t’ve told her, instead inhaling fear and exhaling rejection at every breath he took next to her.

“We’re here” she heard Hotch, looking at her. She grabbed a bottle of water and dropped the iPad, not hearing the teams objections at the lack of vest and preparation and ran into the barn.

She isn’t sure if she’ll ever stop hearing his whimpers. As she runs closer, she hears them louder and louder, decorated with sobs and cries, and small, meaningless replies to his abusers’ mocking words.

She kicked the door down, the loud bang booming across the room, only helping in raising Spencer’s sobs as he feared the sound had been the result of a certain trigger being pulled. As she looks at him, she realises just how much pain he’s been put through.

She remembers Orwells words, much like how Spencer had remembered them mere hours ago. And disagrees, wishing over and over, praying to the Gods that she would be the victim of such atrocious abuse. She wished she could take his pain. Morgan joined her at her side mere seconds later, yelling. “FBI! Put the gun down!”.

Spencer used the last bit of energy to lunge forward, hitting the unsubs stomach with his head, successfully getting him on the floor for Morgan to apprehend. Y/N rushed to Spencer’s side, untying him, as his now nonexistent sobs grew louder and louder, not only at the prospect of getting out of that horrible place alive, but also at the knowledge that Y/N had heard what he had so dreadfully recited.

Spencer collapsed into her arms, crying into her in the same way she was crying into him, and she wondered just how to take away all his pain. So they cried into each other, desperately grasping each others hair, skin, clothes, anything that would make them feel like they wouldn’t have to spend another damned second without the company of each other.

Spencer was the first to break the silence.

“I need-” he stopped, coughing. She reached for the bottle of water she had brought with her because she knew he would need it. She always knew what he needed.

He chugged it desperately, stray drops falling down his chin at his eagerness. He took a deep breath trying to steady his lungs.

“I need to get out of here” he choked out.

She grabbed him under the shoulders, careful not to hurt him - not being successful, realising that there wasn’t much of him the man hadn’t hurt. Y/N pulled him out, sitting down on the grass with him. Their legs intertwined, pulling each other impossibly closer. They kissed, over and over again. Not as an act of any sexual relevance, but as a reminder that they had each other in any way, shape or form. That they weren’t out of time.

The team was certain they would stay there, never letting each other go for another minute.

After what felt like seconds in their time-starved little world, she broke the silence, which had only been filled with their own cries and occasional sobs.

“Spence” she grabbed his chin to look into his eyes. They were dull, red and hooded. He was exhausted. “Mhmm?” he let out, looking into hers. She was his solace.

“How could you ever think you were anything but completely and unequivocally enough?” she whispered the words he dreaded.

But as Spencer looked into her eyes he knew, better than he had ever known anything, that he was enough. And she was enough. He realised that which she had known for the past three months (possibly longer). They fit like two marvellous puzzle pieces.

Her hands grabbed his cheeks slowly, as to not hurt or startle him, pulling his forehead into hers. “Baby, I can’t imagine anybody else waking up to me every morning. You’re so much more than enough”, she planted a small kiss on his forehead before resuming her position. “I’ll remind you every day of the rest of my life if that’s what it takes for you to believe it”.

And with their eyes closed, foreheads and noses pressed together and legs tangled between each other, pulling each other close, closer - around grass and voices and his abuser pressed into the hood of a police car, they only felt each other. With their shaky breaths, even shakier voices, fearing any words that would leave them in case they triggered a cascade of tears down their oh so vulnerable cheeks, they were more than enough.

***

I hope y’all liked it!! Feel free to let me know by liking, reblogging, or sending me a message :) 

super cool kid taglist: @lady-anon-x​ @spencerreid-mgg​​ @eoupe​ @inlovewithbabygirl​ @galaxydefenderjulia​ @username2002​

[hongjoongtrasher]

ATEEZ FINAL PART : when they said something to hurt you.

I'm glad you've liked the previous part (part 1 and 2 here if you haven't read it yet), so here is a final to all this angsty reactions (if it is a reaction). Sorry if there are a lot of grammar errors, English not being my mother tongue -

Gosh this is going to be LONG please, bear with me ugh.

Hongjoong:

After this stormy episode of him totally lashing his stress out on you, he spent some time alone to think and reflect upon his trashy behaviour. He was genuinely aware of the massive efforts you were doing for his ass. Literally be patient and taking everything on you so he didn't have to feel more stressed. But today was different. He obviously went too far, saying those words horribly. Furthermore, he knew how hurt you've been because of him and now he didn't really know how to be forgiven. He always have been busy, always considering his work first and thought you were in an equal part of this, but seems he considered you taken for granted. The leader sighed heavily, rubbing his eyes not seeing any solutions at the moment. It's at this moment that Seonghwa entered the place. "Erm...Joong ?" he didn't answer, only Seonghwa could see how much his leader was in distress. "I heard from Y/N, mh I mean she told San who told me but anyway-" began the oldest before Hongjoong asked simply: "Have you come to scold me ?" A silence then. "No, I came to check on you." Seonghwa was always worried about his leader, since he knew the best how hardworking and diligent Hongjoong was, but today he felt like he was wrong. "You've acted like a real idiot this time" Hongjoong let a sarcastic laugh be heard as he slowly turned to face his friend. "Yeah, I know. Do you think she will forgive me ?" "Probably not easily." he answered honestly before continuing. "She told San she was tired of this, always being a shadow to you, erm...and nowadays she's been really stressed at work" A shadow ? Is this how you were seeing yourself as ? And on top of that, he was completely unaware of your work, how life has been going for you. This made the leader felt more guilty as he bite his lips. "So...What should I do ? Kneeling and beg her for forgiveness ?" Seonghwa sighed and put a comforting hand on the leader shoulder. "Sometimes actions are better than words".

And he left the studio, putting Hongjoong in a more difficult situation than he was already. What did he mean ? He thought about it again and again, watching without really watching his screen before it tilted inside his head. "THE SONG !!" he yelled at himself, feeling now very dumb. He had almost forgotten this track, a very secret one he composed for a long time. This song was special for him, it was a song which were written for you, and was conveying all of his feelings. He had to make you listen to this. A glance at his phone indicated it was already 3am in the morning, but sleep could wait. He spent the rest of the night finishing this track, or actually checking it before he saved a copy and directly sent it to you, praying you'd see it in the morning.

You'd spent the most horrible night of your life. Crying and turning under your blanket as you felt useless, no one. San proposed to come with Yunho, but you insisted to be alone, so they let you be, though they were worried. You only found sleep around two in the morning, tired for having crying most of the night. You woke up at six, your eyes hurting, puffy and red as fuck. Anyone could tell you've cried your eyeballs out. First you went to the bathroom to clean your face with cold water, your stuffy nose not helping in the process. After a while you returned to your bedroom and took your phone, not expecting to see a message from your boyfriend, or was he still yours ? At first you hesitated to open it, but finally did. No text, just an audio file. What was this ? Taking your headphone, you put them into your ear before clicking on the file, closing your eyes. At first, you were confused. You've never heard any melody like this one, so...calm, bubbly and soft. Soon Hongjoong's voice appeared with lyrics he surely had written and...you broke in tears again. This time not from sadness, but ...it was like a dream. You could heard his feelings, how much he loved you. You were ready to forgive him, but...it wasn't easy. Reconciliations were always difficult for both of you. Brushing this instantly aside, you rushed out from your apartment for going directly to Hongjoong's studio, in home wear, messy hair and "after crying faced" only to find him asleep on the couch. Panting, you rushed to jump on your boyfriend, sobbing again . This caused Hongjoong to wake up in surprise, confused. "Y-Y/N ?" why ? Why were you crying again ? After a while of you crying heavily on his shirt, he realised you probably came after hearing his song. His arms softly hooked around your tiny waist as one hand rubbed your back. "Shh...don't cry" he said, heartbroken to see you like this. "You dummy !" you yelled between two sobs. "I know." "I - I love you" "Me too, I'm sorry for being a huge dummy" he said with a gentle smile, holding your face to wipe your tears.

Seonghwa:

How rude he's been with you. It's only after hearing your answer that he realised you didn't deserve this. He wanted to chase after you, saying he was sorry, but too late, you slammed the door. Hongjoong came to their shared room before leaning at the door's frame, arching a brow at the oldest. "Can you explain to me what did just happen ?" he asked calmly before Seonghwa bite his lower tier. "I've been a jerk with her" he mumbled, not proud of himself this time. "Yeah, we saw this. You know, she only wanted to cheer you up. We all know you're having bad times because of vocal things, but you didn't have to lash out on her." His leader wasn't wrong, only himself was. "Hwa, go after her. It's not too late" said Hongjoong. "Now ?" Hongjoong sighed. "Yes now, not tomorrow or later" Seonghwa blinked, overthinking before his own body stood up and carried him outside the dorm, chasing after you desperately. He shouldn't have had been this way, he should have been thankful to have you by his side, always being cheerful and bright although sometimes you were hiding your own demons. But being a couple meant for the good and the worst right ? After running for a while, he stopped, panting his lungs on fire. He started to think. Where could you be now ? He remembered when you were sad or stressed, you used to go to Starbucks and get a drink full of sugar and whipped cream, that's how he thought you'd at the nearest one. Not minding people watching him when he opened the door, he eyed the room quickly before seeing you at the table across the entrance. He stepped inside and directly went to your seat as you were still sniffing with tears, your drink between your hands. Not expecting to see your boyfriend, you gasped when you finally realised he was standing here without saying anything. "Y/N.." You tried to gain composure, not wanting to appear fragile in front of him. "What are you doing here ? I thought you didn't want to see me" you croaked, looking away coldly. You heard him sitting before you and took your cold hands. "Y/N I'm sorry. I've been a jerk, you didn't deserve this- I know my work isn't an excuse for acting this way, I understand if you don't want to talk to me or-" "Shut up..." you mumbled, suddenly feeling embarrassed as more people were staring at you two. "I will do everything for you to forgive me, really." he said seriously, not quitting your face from his gaze. Some people were whispering and gossiping, and the more they did, the more you felt ridiculous. You stood up quickly and went straight to the exit with your double cold latte with whipped cream, your boyfriend following you closely. "Are you crazy Park Seonghwa ??? Did you forget you're an idole ? Huh ?? What are you going to do if they recognise you ?" You began to yell but Seonghwa stopped you by taking your free hand and said clearly. "Then I will just say you're my girlfriend and that I don't care, cause you deserve way more than this. Beside being an idole I'm a man, and I love you, there's nothing wrong with this, and if they don't like it, screw them !" you were shocked by his fearless answer, and you felt your heart melt again. You were definitely madly in love with him.

Yeosang:

He was aware of his jerk attitude, and as much as he felt guilty, he didn't know how to ask for your forgiveness. The members already scolded him for what he had said earlier but he knew better than anyone that you weren't ready to talk with. You were the type to be angry for a while, not letting space for any peaceful conversation until you'd calm down. He overthought for a while, thinking you'd probably dump him now and he wouldn't see you ever again, or you'd be so mad at him you'd just beat his ass. Tormented, Yunho looked at his friend before saying, not really sure to mingle in his friend's love problems: "Yeosang, I'm not sure about her being mad, I think she's ...sad ?" he said cautiously, nervous about Yeosang's answer. Sad ? He was really dumb. Of course you'd not be mad, or at least not as much as sad. After all he saw you crying when you left, and his motto was all ruined at this moment. "You're right...I should go see her." he said flatly, feeling really bad. "Huh, yeah I don't even understand why you're still here to be honest" said Yunho with a smile. Thanks to him, Yeosang found the courage to go to your apartment, with your favorite pastry from the bakery you both liked to go, and...flowers. Yeosang wasn't the type to make such lovey dovey stuffs, but this time it was important. Inhaling deeply in front of your door, he knocked once, shyly, not sure if you'd hear it. Then he knocked more frankly before hearing footsteps from behind the door and before he knew it, you were standing in front of him as much surprised as he was. "...What are you doing here ?" you asked, rather coldly. He cleared his throat before handling you shyly the flowers. "I...I came to apologise. I've been a real jerk to you earlier...I even promised myself I'd never make you cry, but I failed miserably" he said in a go, probably too embarrassed to say it confidently. There is a silence, as you fix your eyes on your shy boyfriend. Suddenly you wanted to laugh. How laughable it was to see Yeosang acts like he never did before. You can't bear it anymore and just burst out of laugh, laughing so much that you have to hold your hurting belly. Visibly confused, Yeosang frowned a bit. Why were you laughing ? "Oh my god...You're really something else" you said, calming down slowly before taking the flowers. He suddenly lifted his head in hope. "Does it mean you're forgiving me ?" You faked you're still thinking about it, humming in an exaggerate way. "Well, only if you let me eat this" you nudged your chin to the box he was carrying and which you spotted immediately before he gave you the flower. He smiled and shook his head. "Alright, it's all for you then"

San:

He had definitely crossed a line he shouldn't had. After you slammed the door at his nose, he tried to make you open it for a while, but you never opened it again. So he left, defeated. It was supposed to be a romantic moment for both of you since a while, and yet he ruined everything with his mouth. Sometimes he wished he just could rewind and change every thing. Even if he didn't like the dress, he could have accepted it since you were happy, but his selfishness and jealousy got over it and now he was alone, in his car without you. He took his phone, sending you texts. "Babe, I'm sorry, please, you know I didn't really mean it right ?" or "Please answer me, I'm really sorry." etc, but you didn't even open them since they were still on sent. Instead of going back to his dorm, he tried to call you this time. On the fifth time, he let a voice mail, taking a long breath before the beep. "Y/N, I'm really sorry, I didn't want to ruin our date like this, or just ruin it at all. The truth is...you were so pretty in this dress, so sexy that I don't want other men to see you in this, I wanted to be the only one to see you with. You're not a whore, you're not any of this. I'm selfish I know, but please, it's been so long since we went on a date...If you still want to see me...I'll be waiting in front of your building." And he locked his phone, leaning his head on the top of the steering wheel. He didn't know how long he waiting again but he suddenly heard the door of the passenger side opening, making him look at the person who opened it. It was you. With the same dress. He felt his heart stopped as you sat next to him, putting your seatbelt without a word. "Y/N ?" You looked straightforward you, and said simply. "Let's go, I guess the restaurant is still open" you muffled. He couldn't help but smiled happily as he turned the engine on, taking your hand in his before driving and said. "Thank you Y/N, thank you" and kissed the back of your delicate hand.

Yunho:

Since the incident at the practice room, Yunho didn't hear from you for a while. Hongjoong particularly scolded him about how rude he's been on you while you just wanted to wish them good luck for their performance. He knew it right, but at the moment he couldn't have helped but get angry at you. He knew as well it wasn't so like him to get carried away for nothing, so that's why he didn't really know what to do to make amend for you. He made his mind he would apologise right after their stage for Kingdom even if they boys thought it would be better to do it before. He knew you'd definitely watch them, root for them so he put all of his mind and body in this performance, hoping it would bring him luck. And it did since they snitched 1st place although they started low in the classement. When the MC asked Yunho how he felt about their win, the giant boy just shyly smiled before saying with a trembling voice. "I...It meant a lot for us, and to be able to be first is huge honour. We always want to show our best to our fans, Atiny. But today I...wanted to surpass myself for a certain person." Others groups were chatting among themselves, surprised by Yunho's declaration. Changmin, though he was as surprised as the others still asked professionally. "Oh, who would it be ?" Yunho smiled brightly and said confidently. "Y/N, my girlfriend." Some screams and gasps from shock could be heard in the giant room after Yunho pursued: "She's always been by my side and supports me with the best way she can, but lately...I've not been a good boyfriend to her, that's why I wanted to win, for her, and saying that I love her."

Right after the diffusion of this week episode which you've been watching with your friends, you sobbed like a little girl. How proud you were for your boyfriend, and the only thing you wanted now was to take him in your arms, feeling his arms around you. With shaking hands you took your phone to try to call Yunho, but he wasn't answering your call. That's at this very moment you heard the bell of your door and went for it, not expecting to see your boyfriend at your door. "H-hi" he said shyly. You dropped your phone and jumped directly in his arms, crying again. "You're an idiot Jung Yunho...But I love you". He nuzzled the top of your head as he hugged you back tightly. "I love you too, little one."

Wooyoung:

wede Wooyoung always said honestly what he was thinking, and everyone's used to it, so he thought his remarks about your skill about cooking would pass easily, but he was wrong. At first he didn't understand your reaction, why you left like this as he was only joking, or he thought so. Seonghwa nagged at him after you left, saying how rude he's been and at least he could shut his mouth. He felt really guilty. He was the one who made you loose confidence about you, when he knew you're always trying your best. And this time, he really screwed things up. Worst than this, when he ate the cake you'd made, he realised it was really good, and his unfounded claims were really mean. Gathering his courage, he showed up at your workplace, waiting for you at the exit. At first, you didn't want to see him, you haven't digested yet what he'd said to you. But with an expressionless face, you finally appeared in front of him. "Y/N- listen, I'm really sorry, I shouldn't have said those horrible jokes. No, I mean, I didn't mean what I said, the cake was really good." he tried to say quickly, afraid you'd just brush him away. After listening to his words, you just sighed and said "You're really a jerk sometimes you know that ? Maybe I'm not good at some things, but it doesn't give you the right to bash me out like this in front of everyone. Do you understand Wooyoung ?" he looked down at his feet and nodded, muttering "I'm sorry". "Fine, if you're really sorry, you better cook something too" you smirked, a sign from you that you're half forgiving him. "What ? Wait-" he looked at you astonished. "I don't know what to cook" "Huh, well not my problem" you sticked your tongue out to him and caught his arm in yours.

Mingi:

Mingi's been aware that his words probably upset you. But he needed to find himself again, to get right on tracks by himself even if he was thankful towards you, taking care of him for so long and everything. But he felt like it was his duty to make his comeback to the team his, from A to Z. He hoped you would understand, but after you left him alone, he felt guilty to suddenly reject you. The first day of his comeback into the team, Mingi felt really nervous. He wished he could call you and talk to you as he used to, but since that day he didn't dare to contact you. Instead he sent you a long message, saying how much he missed you and felt really nervous. That he was sorry for what he's said and how much you counted for him. He knew deep inside his mind that you had understood his reasons to act this way, and he was right. After reading his text, you couldn't help but fall in love all over again for Mingi. He was so sweet and pure that you couldn't hold grudges against him. You texted back saying "Everything's gonna be alright. Fighting ! I love you" which reassured the rapper.

Jongho:

Although Jongho was the youngest from the team, he was really mature and hated childish behaviour when it comes for his relationship. The fact you got jealous and as a result, acted this way got him angry. For him, the fact he was dating you was a proof of his choice, and love. Things weren't bad with his ex, so he didn't see why he would cut the rope from her, and he expected you to understand his point of view. After calming down on his own, he also realised his reaction must not have been mature as well. He took more time to think about how he was going to reconcile with you, but things shouldn't stay this way. He expected you to be at your place, and directly knocked at the door, feeling nervous. "Y/N ?" he called out for you. It took a moment before you opened the door, clearly still furious about what happened earlier. "What ? Aren't you with Mina yet ?" you spatted out, maybe too agressive than you wished. Jongho took on himself not to react to this again, instead sighing softly. "Baby, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have reacted this way." he began, trying to be the most sincere he was. "You're the only one for me, you know it right ? But you see, Mina is indeed my ex, but it doesn't mean I'm on bad terms with her, and it also means that nothing will happen with her anymore. Because I love you so much and no one else"

[unholyimagines]

Fucking Your Problem

Drew Starkey x Reader

Summary; Part II of Your Fucking Problem

(that’s all you get for a summary bc i don’t wanna spoil it, tho the warnings might give it away)

Warnings; cursing, teasing, fighting, spanking, choking, slapping, dirty talk, fingering, sex toys, i really went for it with this one

A/N; hehe see what i did with the title lol okay i got some serious 365 dni vibes writing this and the song from it (you know which one) kept playing in my head so i had to include the movie somehow (you’ll see) — also i wanna thank you all for all the love you gave the first one, i really hope you like this one too!! gif from google (is it yours?)

“After all the shit you said tonight, you’re gonna have to beg for it, baby”.

And you begged, for two days straight.

Drew had pulled himself away from you the second you both heard the front door opening, Rudy and Chase walking in, and acted like nothing had happened, leaving you more sexually frustrated than ever before.

And after that, all you did was beg. Beg for him to touch you, to give you the satisfaction you craved so much, to even just kiss you, but he never gave any of those. Instead, he watched and enjoyed as he had you squirming for him, whispering dirty things to you and suggesting to fulfill your fantasies, building up the anticipation until he was ready to give it to you, knowing he had control of the situation and trust me, he was living for it.

The shooting for OBX season 2 was starting in a day and you were dreading it, knowing your character had scenes with Drew’s, and you weren’t sure if you could handle it all, no matter how much of a professional you were.

But surprisingly, they had gone better than you thought, Drew keeping it all professional and not even bothering to stay with you after you were done with your scenes.

The boy was really getting to you, in more ways than one.

Contemplating on whether to go find him or not, you didn’t have time to think about it when Rudy had caught your wrist and pulled you to the set of the Château to watch him and JD film a scene.

Standing alone at the sidelines of the area, you kept quiet when the cameras started rolling, not wanting to bother the sound guy in any way.

Feeling completely lost in the amazing acting skills of your new friends, you almost let out an audible gasp when you felt a body press against your back, two hands finding their way down to hold your waist.

“Don’t turn around, and don’t make a sound”, Drew whispered to you, keeping you in place to not alert anyone.

His fingers started brushing over the waistband of your bikini bottoms, occasionally dipping in just below the edge and you felt the wetness pool between your legs immediately, thanks to his constant teasing for the past days.

“Drew”, you moaned as quiet as you could, begging him for more without words, not caring you were out in public.

“What the fuck did I literally just tell you?”, he snapped at you, his other hand coming up to squeeze your throat, making your breathing uneven.

He had learned by now how much of a sucker you were for choking.

The hand that held your throat, let go of its grip and started to slowly make its way down your front, fingers brushing over your chest and down to your stomach, leaving your skin shivering under his touch since you were wearing only a bikini top, due to it being your character’s outfit.

Finally reaching back to your bikini bottoms, he kept stroking the waistband, fingers disappearing deeper into the fabric each time.

You were sure you were already soaking through the fabric, so you whimpered quietly, notifying him of your desperate state.

“What is it, Y/N?”, he cooed into your ear, making the hairs on the back of your neck stand up.

“Please, Drew, I can’t do this anymore”, you confessed, hoping he would just finally give it to you.

“Oh c’mon, we’re just having fun”, he chuckled darkly, still keeping his voice down.

“Drew”, you whined, pressing your legs together to create some kind of friction, but Drew was quick to pull your legs apart.

“No, Y/N, that’s not how this works”, you didn’t have to look at him to know he was smirking.

So you stayed quiet and let his hands wander around your lower half, never actually touching where you needed him the most.

“You know—I could just pull your bikini bottoms to the side, no one would notice”, he told you in a hushed tone, your body jolting slightly at the excitement of him finally touching you, but also the thought of doing it in public.

Your reaction caused a low chuckle from him and right after, you felt his other hand reach down to your core, not touching it, just lightly tugging the edge of your bikini above it.

And then heard the director yell ‘cut’ and felt his hands leave you.

Taking this as your chance to scold Drew for making you feel like this almost in front of your boss, you took a deep breath and turned around.

Only to find him—gone.

Once again, he had left you all hot and bothered and nowhere to be seen.

“Hey, Y/N! What did you think? I think we nailed it!”, Rudy’s voice scared you since you had forgotten why you were standing there in the first place, trying to look normal when he came running towards you.

“Y—yeah, it was great”, you lied, not having any idea how the rest of the scene had actually went.

“I know, right? Anyway, since that was the last scene of today, we’re gonna throw a small get together to celebrate the first day of filming, so let’s go home and get ready”, Rudy smiled, his hands pulling you loosely from your waist to leave with him, and his touch wasn’t helping you, but you pushed it out of your mind, no matter how much you craved for any touch right now.

Four hours later, you were spread out on a couch in Rudy’s and Chase’s apartment, laughing at a stupid joke Chase had made.

“Hey Y/N, care to join me for a smoke?”, Drew interrupted your laughing, your face turning serious.

Ever since the night of your fight, you hadn’t told any of your friends what had happened, keeping up the facade of you two not being really friends, so him asking you to join him, made you wonder, or maybe you were just overthinking?

“Uhh—yeah, sure”, you quickly got up, trying to avoid any questions from your cast mates, but Chase was faster.

“Since when do you two get along?”, he chuckled, grabbing everyone’s attention as they were staring you down, waiting for your answer.

“We always have, what are you talking about?”, Drew joked, pulling you out with him before anyone had a chance to question him.

The cold night air hit you like a truck, shivering immediately since you only had a thin dress on.

“Cold?”, Drew simply questioned before pulling a cigarette between his lips.

“No”, you stubbornly told him, not knowing why you lied.

“Always so stubborn, Y/N”, he chuckled, a sudden feeling of anger rising in you.

“Why did you want me here?”, you frowned at him, quickly lighting up your own cigarette.

“Why not? You’re the only one that smokes and I wanted some company”, he explained, but you didn’t believe there wasn’t an ulterior motive behind it.

“Oh, yeah? So you didn’t want me here so you could tease and torment me again?”, you deadpanned, still not being actual friends with him and kind of enjoying the small fights between you two.

“Sorry, princess, guess you don’t always get what you want”, Drew didn’t hold back the smirk that was now spreading on his face.

You stared at him for a minute, scanning his face, trying to find a way to crack him.

“Why won’t you give me what I want?”, you asked, finishing your cigarette.

“And what is it that you want, Y/N?”, he replied, doing the same.

“Are you serious? You know exactly what I want! I’ve literally been begging you, just like you wanted!”, you exclaimed out in frustration, knowing he was just doing it to annoy you on purpose, but all the pent up emotions starting to get overwhelming.

“Exactly, because you’re gonna keep doing exactly what I want, aren’t you?”, he growled, stepping towards you, backing you into a wall until your back was against it.

“Drew—I, uh”, you stuttered, the closeness of his face clouding your mind as he placed his hands on the wall around your head, his face lowering to eye level with you.

“Say it”, he demanded in a low voice and you felt yourself melt before him.

“I’ll do whatever you want, Drew”, you confessed, knowing it was a hundred percent true, you were practically a slut for him now, agreeing to do anything he asked so you would finally get what you had been longing for.

“Good girl”, he purred to you, his face inching closer to yours and you felt your body shiver.

He was so close, you could feel his breath against your lips and then noticed him pausing when your lips were just barely touching.

You hadn’t realized you had closed your eyes so you opened them, to see him staring deeply into yours already, but he didn’t utter out a word.

“Just kiss me, I can’t take this anymore”, you pleaded, hoping he would just forget about his stupid power play and give in.

And right then, you heard your friends yelling inside, calling your name to get back in, ending your moment with Drew.

You hoped for a second that he would ignore them and just close the space between your lips, but he still didn’t move.

You sighed in defeat, pulling yourself away from him to turn around and go back in since the door was right next to you, but then felt him grab you by the back of you neck, pulling you back even closer to him than before.

Your breath got caught in your throat, waiting for it to happen.

“I don’t like it when you try to walk away from me”, he growled at you and you felt his lips lightly brush against yours when he spoke.

“I’m—I’m sorry”, was all you could muster out, not really knowing why you were apologizing, but it seemed like the right thing to do in the moment.

“Don’t make it into a habit”, he finished, letting go of your neck and walking inside.

Leaving you stunned, you watched as he sat down on the couches with everyone, acting like nothing had happened and your mind was going wild.

What was this boy doing to you?

Collecting yourself after another quick stress cigarette, you practically ran back inside as you had forgotten how cold it was, the heat from Drew making you forget, you noticed how everyone had quieted down and the lights were off.

“What’s happening?”, you frowned.

“We’re watching a movie”, JD explained and you eyed around the room to find the only free spot, of course, next to Drew, on the small couch that barely fit two people.

“Great, what are we watching?”, you asked, making your way awkwardly to sit next to Drew.

“Maddie’s been bugging me to watch 365 days, so here we are”, Chase told you, earning a slap from Madelyn.

“It’s basically just porn”, you spoke before your brain could register what you had said.

“Oh, is it now? So, you’ve already watched it?”, Rudy wiggled his eyebrows at you.

“I mean—yeah, everyone was talking about it”, you tried to shrug it off, feeling how Drew’s eyes were burning at the back of your skull.

Halfway through the movie, you had noticed Drew shuffling around uncomfortably, making you smirk to yourself. You were kind of desensitized to the sex scenes since you had already seen it, but imagining Drew doing all the things to you, was not helping you keep calm.

So when you felt his hand grab yours, you turned your head to see him watching you with a serious look.

He started pulling your hand towards him, silently and slowly, making sure everyone else was still paying attention to the screen as you were kind of sat behind them.

“What are you doing?”, you mouthed to him, but didn’t get any answer, but got the idea when he lifted the waistband of his boxers, sliding your hand in until you felt your fingers graze over his hardened length.

A rush of emotions went through you, mostly excitement before you felt him pull his own hand out, leaving yours in and then pressing your hand down on top of his pants with his own, making you fully grab him in your hand. Your body felt like it was suddenly tingling, trying to believe this was actually happening.

You saw him take a sharp breath when you had him tightly in your grip and now it was your time to tease him. You knew he was expecting you to instantly start working on him, but you wanted him to suffer, just like you had.

So you, did nothing.

Simply turned your eyes to the screen, still holding him in your hand, but not moving it even an inch.

“Y/N”, Drew growled, the movie having a loud scene so he could speak without anyone hearing him.

“What?”, you smiled at him innocently.

”Move—your—hand”, he demanded, pausing between every word to make it clear as day, but you only smiled at him.

“Why?”, you cooed innocently.

Expecting him to just sigh in defeat, you definitely didn’t expect your head to snap back when his free hand was in your hair, yanking it back.

You somehow managed to quiet the gasp that escaped past your lips, only to feel his mouth next to your ear, once again.

“Don’t fucking start with me, or I swear I’ll make sure you’re wet for the next month without ever getting the satisfaction of cumming”, he spoke lowly, sending shivers down your spine.

Blinking rapidly for a moment to make sure you heard him right, it was enough for you to start moving your hand, slowly, making him know you had some control, or at least thought you had.

When The Boat Scene was starting on the screen from the movie and the song I See Red began, you felt yourself getting more and more excited, pumping your hand on Drew faster, watching as the couple on screen had sex all over the yacht.

Quiet, barely audible moans and grunts started falling from Drew’s lips made you turn your head to him, seeing how his head was leaning back on the couch, his eyes closed.

The sight only, made you feel butterflies in your stomach, your legs involuntarily pressing together.

You thought about just pulling him out of his pants and taking him in your mouth, but fought against the thought since all of your friends were in the same room.

“Drew, I need you”, you whispered to him, pumping ever faster to show him how much you wanted him.

“I know”, he chuckled before pulling your hand out, making you frown in confusion.

He checked quickly to make sure no one was watching you before placing his hands on either sides of your face, pulling you close.

“Tell me what you want”, he rasped with serious eyes.

“Drew”, you whined, knowing he knew exactly what you wanted, biting your lips in the process.

“Don’t do that”, he suddenly snapped, watching your teeth pull back your bottom lip.

“What?”, you asked, not understanding why and repeating the action.

“Bite your lip one more time, I dare you”, he clarified and you couldn’t help yourself but to do just that.

“That’s it”, he told you, getting up from the couch, catching everyone attention.

“I gotta go, I’ll be back later”, he told everyone before simply leaving.

No one seemed to notice you as you sat there, more confused now that ever.

Did you really make to wrong move? Was he actually angry?

You sat alone on the couch, the movie quickly ending but you hadn’t really paid any attention to it, your mind too occupied with Drew.

“Anyone up for drinks?”, Rudy loudly asked, people getting up and turning the lights back on.

“Yes, please”, you sighed, following him to the kitchen.

Before you could even get the glasses, Rudy’s phone went off.

“Hey—yeah, sure—okay, bye”, the call ended quickly and Rudy turned to you.

“Drew needs you at his apartment, he said it was urgent”, he told you, motioning towards the door as he seemed slightly worried.

“Oh—okay”, you faked a smile before quickly taking off, opening the front door before anyone else took notice.

Walking literally two steps forward, you knocked at the door in front of you since Drew lived just the opposite of Chase and Rudy.

Merely a second later, the door flew open and you felt yourself getting pulled in, the door slamming close behind you.

“Drew—what, uh, what’s happening?”, you frowned, trying to look around the apartment since it was actually your first time being there, but you didn’t really have any time when you were again, pulled, into his bedroom and thrown onto the bed.

Landing on your front, you rolled around on your back and were instantly faced with Drew’s lips on yours, his body hovering over you.

Not wanting anything to interrupt what you had waited for so long, you lifted your hands up to grab his hair, making sure he kept close and didn’t leave you again.

While his other hand kept him up, the other started gripping your waist roughly, his touch needy and desperate.

“Drew, please”, you begged one last time, with swollen lips, between kisses.

“Up”, he commanded and you happily obliged.

“Strip, now”, he continued, standing in front of you, eyeing you from head to toe, making you feel slightly intimidated.

You lifted your hands to slowly pull down to straps of your dress, tugging it down to your chest, breathing heavily as you were getting ready to reveal yourself to him fully.

The dress slipped down past your chest, your nipples hardening as you watched Drew’s eyes glued to them, not wearing a bra.

Finally letting go of the fabric completely, you stood before him, only in your g string, waiting for him to say or do anything.

He lifted an eyebrow at you, his eyes now looking at your underwear and you began pulling them off, your fingers going underneath the thin waistband.

“This is taking too long”, he suddenly said, pushing you back until your feet hit the edge of the bed and you fell on it.

You watched him take the tiny piece of fabric between his fingers and pull up, not down, but up.

“What are you—“, you gasped when you felt the waistband snap before he removed the fabric completely.

“Did you just—break my favorite underwear?”, you asked in slight disbelief.

“Yes, is that a problem?”, he stared you down, making you feel more intimated than before.

“N—no”, you cowarded, giving up any control you thought you had with one word.

“Thought so. Now, give me your hands”, he said and you did, before he pulled your body up on the bed and pinned your wrists down with one hand.

You didn’t look up until you felt something cold and hard against your skin, realizing he was handcuffing you to the bed frame.

A hot wave of excitement went through your body at this.

“Close your eyes and keep them closed”, he told you quietly before you felt his fingertips brushing over your collarbones, making their way down to your chest.

You didn’t want to close your eyes, you wanted to see everything he was about to do to you, but he stopped his movements when he saw your eyes still open, so you reluctantly closed them.

His touch on your skin continued and it was almost so light that it was on the edge of ticklish, but when he got down to your boobs, it turned rough.

He kneaded and massaged them, you humming in approval.

Every time you thought his palms would come in contact with your nipples, you sighed in disappointment when they never did. He was clearly doing it on purpose, still continuing to torment you.

A moment passed until you were starting to feel annoyed at the lack of touch now, so you started to twist your body slightly, trying to show him what you wanted.

But it wasn’t enough because he still avoided your most sensitive parts.

“Drew, just touch me already”, you sighed, your voice sounding kind of fed up.

“Say my name again”, he responded, not giving you the answer you wanted.

“I will when you give me some satisfaction”, you snapped back, hoping it would trigger him somehow to just take you.

“Trust me Y/N, you’ll be begging for more satisfaction when I’m done with you”, he chuckled before taking your nipples between his fingers and lightly twisting them.

A loud, uncontrollable moan came from your mouth at the contact and you felt shockwaves through you body when he stared tugging and playing with them.

But he was finished with your chest quicker than you would have liked.

Feeling his hands around your ankles, your legs flew apart quickly and you felt Drew sit between them.

You wanted to open your eyes so bad, to see him looking at your exposed self, but knew better.

You waited for a moment, for him to do something.

And then another moment.

And another.

But nothing happened and you felt the anger rising again.

“If you don’t do something, I’ll open my eyes”, you threatened.

“Do that and you won’t get anything”, he was fast to reply.

“I swear I’ll open them”, you told him.

“And I swear, I won’t touch you again”, he said in a stern voice.

“Then untie me and I’ll fucking get up and leave”, you lied, hoping he would believe you.

You didn’t get an actual response, instead, his dark laughter filled your ears.

“You’re so fucking hot when you’re mad”, he told you.

“Do something or I’ll show you how hot I am when I’m furious”, you exclaimed and finally felt his hands at your inner thighs, spreading your legs more apart.

Your anger was forgotten in a second, trying to push yourself towards Drew so he wouldn’t take any longer with touching you.

A single finger went from your entrance up to your clit, a moan falling into the quiet room.

You expected him to just stop there, but to your surprise, he immediately went to rub on your clit, sending your mind into a wild haze.

It was like someone touching you for the first time, the anticipation for this moment making it all worth the wait, but you still wanted more.

Bucking your hips up just a little, Drew got the hint as he removed his finger and you felt him get up from the bed.

You wanted to open your eyes to see what he was doing, but he was quickly back and you felt his fingers pressing against your entrance, gliding in effortlessly, thanks to how wet you were.

Him inching himself in more and more, you frowned a little. His fingers seemed, really thick?

And then you realized, they weren’t his fingers, but a dildo.

“Where’d you get that?”, you quickly blurted out, not wanting to share the toys he might have used before.

“Don’t worry, I got it yesterday just for you”, he read your mind and your stomach tingled at the fact that he had done that.

You were fully prepared to reply, but nothing came out of your mouth when you felt him push the toy all the way in and pull it out, just to push it back in.

It didn’t take him long to find the rhythm that had you moaning and whimpering in seconds.

You thought you couldn’t last for more than a minute and wanted to warn him, but then felt the toy leave you completely.

A pair of hands were around you waist, flipping you over on your stomach.

A sharp stinging pain shocked you, realizing he had just spanked you, hard.

“Mm, Drew”, you moaned, lifting you ass up for him to do it again.

He repeated the action a few times until you heard him chuckle again.

“You’re such a good little slut, Y/N”, the comment earning another moan from you.

He flipped you over again, his other hand holding your waist tightly, pushing you down to keep you in place when his other hand pushed two fingers in, your head falling back in pure pleasure.

“Tell me you want me”, his voice sounded distant through the pleasure you were receiving.

“Tell me, you want me”, he repeated, now more firmly, but you still couldn’t give him an answer.

A harsh slap on your cheek brought you back to reality.

“Fucking answer me”, his voice was loud and clear, your eyes flying open to see him staring at you with a lustful stare.

The slap didn’t hurt, you just weren’t expecting it and it only made you more excited if even possible.

“I—I want you”, you rasped, trying to find your voice.

“Louder”, he demanded, not happy with your quiet voice.

“I want you”, you raised your voice just below a yell, making sure he heard you loud and clear this time.

And it was enough for him.

Watching him get up and remove his clothes, you had to keep your mouth for watering at the outline of his cock in his underwear.

Yes, you had had him in your hand, but the sight of actually seeing him, was mesmerizing.

The world around you seemed to slow down when he pushed down the boxers for you to see him fully.

Not to give away too much, but he wasn’t the average size.

You had to physically shake your head slightly to not stare, but Drew had noticed it and was smirking when he reached to his nightstand to grab a condom.

“You sure you’re ready for this?”, he asked after placing himself between your legs.

You wanted to give him a sarcastic comment, but instead just raised your eyebrows at him in a challenging way, not wanting anything to get in the way of him filling you up.

He flipped you around once again, lifting your ass up until your knees were supporting you.

You felt his hands groping your cheeks before the tip of his dick was at your entrance.

Taking a deep breath, you prepared for him to fully enter you, but definitely didn’t wait for him to just shove himself in like he did.

A mixture between a moan and a gasp loudly fell from your lips, but Drew didn’t give you any time to adjust, quickly finding a fast pace to pound into you.

“Oh god”, you moaned into the pillow beneath you, your hands trying to grip at anything, but the handcuffs restraining you.

“Fuck”, Drew groaned in response before pulling out and flipping you on your back, already pushing back in and finding even a faster pace than before.

“Drew”, you moaned his name, your eyes opening and closing in the blinding pleasure.

“Shut up”, Drew tried to take some control when you noticed him losing control over himself, his pounding becoming slightly uneven.

“Drew”, you moaned again, hoping it would help him reach his peak as you were coming close to yours.

His hands flew up to your neck, choking you, sending you almost over the edge which caused you to tense up your pelvic muscles.

“Oh shit”, the words flew from his mouth, his head shooting back when he came, your own body trembling with pleasure.

A few slow thrusts more and he pulled himself out and laid next to you, your eyes closing with a smile on your face, feeling sleepy after the overwhelming fulfillment you just received.

“Y/N?”, you heard Drew’s voice, but didn’t bother to answer, feeling like sleep was the better option out of anything right now.

“Y/N”, he repeated more firmly and you groaned when you opened your eyes and turned your head to him.

Only to see him looking down at you with a mix of shock and worry on his face.

“What?”, you quickly asked, getting up to rest on your elbows.

He just stared at you for a moment before speaking.

“The condom broke”.

[klbwriting]

Unexpected Allies - Chapter 12

Fandom: Six of Crows

Pairing: Kax/female!Reader

Summary: a prison heist

Note: so 2 things, 1 - the song is this chapter is ‘Bulletproof Heart’ by My Chemical Romance and 2 - finally a kiss!  maybe not exactly the kiss thats expected but its where they’re at for now

Taglist: @mcntsee​ @amwitherspoon​

              Kaz was able to catch sight of the carriage as it was pulling out of the gate.  He and Mal took off running after it, Kaz screaming Y/N’s name.  He dropped the cane, running as fast as he could, desperate to catch her.  Mal dropped back before Kaz did, bending over panting.  Kaz kept running, ignoring the hellacious pain in his bad leg.  He ran until his leg gave out on him and he landed face first in the frosted grass.  He screamed out his rage, punching the hard ground as he sat up.  Mal came over and tried to help him stand but Kaz pulled away, collapsing to his hands and knees, retching on the grass.  He wasn’t sure if it was because he was disgusted at the touch of another or if he was disgusted at himself for doing this to her.  When they got to the prison if someone recognized her and sent word to the Darkling he would come for her.  He would try to use her and if he couldn’t, he would kill her. Kaz finally got to his feet and accepted his cane from Mal.  

              “I’m going after her,” he said, starting to limp back to camp.  

              “I know, we can’t send a squad, we’d never get in, but, maybe a few thieves could get in,” Mal responded.  “I’ll gather some supplies and go track the carriage, make sure of their destination.  If it is Sarkoff’s prison we have a few people in there, we can send 3 more at the guard changing at the end of the month but not before then.  Get planning.”  

              “The end of the month?  She could be dead by then!” Kaz said.  Mal stopped.

              “You need to calm down and think with your head Brekker, you know that she wouldn’t want you running in there half-assed and getting yourself killed.  Come up with 2 other team members and a plan and we will get you in there and you will get her back here safe.  I know you will,” he said.  Mal walked off then towards his own tent while Kaz went to find the Dregs.  

              He found his crew around a table eating and he fell to sit on a bench.  They all looked at him and paled.  They had probably never seen him like this.  He was wet from the frost, bloody from his fall, and looked murderous.  

              “What happened?” Jesper asked.  

              “The fucking Dime Lions took her, prison in the south…” he started.

              “Sarkoff’s?” Inej asked.  Kaz nodded.  

              “I need a team, I need to get her back.  If the Darkling finds out she’s there he will kill her, I cannot lose someone else I love, I can’t lose her like I lost…my brother…I can’t” Kaz said, eyes glazing over, memories washing over him.  He knew he must terrifying them.  He was Kaz Brekker, he kept his calm no matter what, if he lost his head that meant the end of the world and for Kaz this very much felt like the end of the world.  

              “I’ve been there as a guard to keep an eye on things,” Inej said.  “I can help with the plan, we will get papers for the guard transfer at the end of the month. We need one more person to go with us.” Jesper stepped forward.

              “Y/N is my best friend now, sorry everyone else here, so like hell I’m not going to break her out of prison,” he said.  Inej nodded.

              “Kaz, can you keep your head to do this?  Get it together,” Inej said.  Kaz took a breath and closed his eyes.  When they opened he was alright again, the old Kaz was back and he was ready to formulate their plan.

              Y/N sure how long she had actually been in this prison, every day was exactly the same.  They days were spent with her hands cuffed to the ceiling and beatings were given when she wouldn’t reveal anything about the resistance.  If she did say anything she sent them on wild goose chases and those beatings were especially savage.  In the evening they paraded her out on a stage, cuffed at the hands and feet, pelting her with fruit and trying to get her to sing.  Someone had revealed she liked to write songs and it became a daily occurrence to mock her into singing.  

              She saw the full moon one night through the small cell window and knew it must be the beginning of the month.  New guards, lovely, more people to torment her and mock her.  She sighed as the evening drew near, straining to breath after the strangling someone had give her earlier.  She missed Kaz, every night she dreamed about him, just holding his hand or being in the stream again, in the day she went over every interaction they had had since they met nearly six months ago.  How did she go from being alone and feeling trapped to being in love and free in six months?  She marveled at what Kaz had done for her and she hoped one day she would see him again.

              The evening guard entered her cell, laughing about the upcoming ‘performance’ she was going to give.  They uncuffed her from the ceiling and led her out to the rec hall.  They entered and tossed her on the set of boxes they made as a ‘stage’ and started hooting and hollering at her.  She was looking towards the guards’ room where the keys were hanging desperately trying to think of a way to get to them.  There was always a guard in there on duty and one standing by the door as watch.  With the cuffs she couldn’t hope to get past them both and she sighed.  She was knocked over suddenly by a metal cup thrown at her shoulder.  She pushed herself up on her knees and looked towards the door that led to the cells and there he was.  Kaz.  Their eyes met and she nearly cried in relief.  Jesper and Inej flanked him, all three dressed like guards, Inej whispering to him and motioning towards the guards’ room.  He looked intently at her and she realized they needed a distraction to lure the guard at the door away, just for a minute.  She nodded and slowly stood.  

              “You want a song you fuckers?” she yelled out at the guards.  They all stopped, now waiting for what she would do next, thinking they had finally wore her down into performing something.  This would be good, if she was willing to embarrass herself like this maybe she would start giving them information.

              “Sing bitch!” one guard yelled and they laughed.  She took a deep breath and opened her mouth.

“Gravity don't mean too much to me I'm who I've got to be These pigs are after me, after you

Run away like it was yesterday And we could run away If we could run away Run away from here”

           The guard by the door laughed as she started singing and called into the room, probably telling the other guard he was leaving to join the others.  He stepped forward into the fray of people who were yelling at her, calling out the most heinous things they could think of.  But she wasn’t listening.  This was the song she wrote for Kaz and right now she was singing for him and no one else.  

“I gotta bulletproof heart You gotta hollow point smile”

           Inej had been meant to stand guard at the door but as soon as Kaz heard that line he stopped and stared at Y/N.  This was the song she was working on, for him.  He looked to Inej who seemed to understand that something was going on right now.

           “Stand guard, I’ll be able to search for her keys faster,” she said, leaving him at the door.  Kaz stood and listened at the song continued, waiting impatiently as Jesper dispatched the guard and Inej found what she needed.  After about a minute they both reappeared and started working back to the door to the cells. Y/N really turned up the energy to keep the guards distracted.  Jepser and Inej slipped out first and Kaz took one more Y/N before they disappeared into the hall.  

           “You two find the laundry room and make sure we can get out that way as planned,” Kaz said.  “I’ll wait by her cell until after the lights out bed check and then get her.”  They all nodded and went their separate ways.

           Kaz settled himself in an alcove by her cell, just big enough for a couple people to fit in, and waited.  After about an hour she was brought back to the cell and chained again to the ceiling. Kaz felt his blood raging in his veins. She looked thinner, dirty, she had been beaten and he wanted to kill everyone who had hurt her in the last month. The guards left and he still had to wait.  Finally, the guards called lights out down the corridor and checked her cell before walking by.  After they disappeared through the door Kaz slipped out and opened her cell.  She looked up at and he could tell she was relieved to see him but still terrified.  He hurried over and undid her cuffs.  She collapsed to the ground and he offered her his hand.  Once she was up they headed out of the cell and he locked it again.  They were shooting down hallways towards the laundry room when he heard guards coming.  They were still in the cells and there was alcoves like the one by hers around so he gently pushed her to the wall of one and stood silently in front of her, facing the wall.  In the dark hopefully the black guards’ uniform would keep them shadowed there.  He noticed then that she was completely flat against the wall, hands pressed to it hard, holding her breath so that he body didn’t touch his.  He looked down at her, marveling at how she was bruised, bloody, and scared, but she still was conscious of him and his needs.  He could see that she was shaking a little, scared of being caught and he knew he needed calm her down somehow, any noise she made may draw attention to them.  He looked at her and did the only thing he could think of, something he had wanted to do for a long time actually.  He leaned forward silently and pressed his lips to her forehead.   Y/N instantly stilled.

             Kas Brekker was kissing her.   Y/N felt his lips on her forehead, only for a few moments, but it was enough to draw her focus to just that feeling.  His lips had been soft and warm, something she didn’t expect from him, but she shouldn’t be surprised, he wasn’t as hard and cold as he seemed to everyone else. She froze in place, reminiscing and storing the memory of his kiss inside her heart.  It was just enough time for the guards to leave the corridor and for them to move again.  They arrived at the laundry room where Jesper was waiting.  

           “Where’s Inej?” Kaz asked while Y/N hugged Jesper.  She was so happy to see her friend again, and so grateful they had come for her.

           “She went through the vent to open the guards’ door on the other side,” he said.

           “People tried to sneak out of the laundry room all the time, they added a second room to check for escapees,” Y/N explained, voice hoarse.  She looked at Kaz and saw that he was upset by her appearance.  She smiled at him, completely forgetting how much her face hurt from the bruising.  He was with her again and that was all she needed right now.  

           Inej soon opened the door to the laundry room and then to the outside. They were able to slide through a gate that had been opened for them, closing and locking it again as they jumped into a waiting carriage that Mal was driving.  He took off into the night back to the encampment.   Y/N didn’t mean to but she was so tired from her experience that she instantly fell asleep the moment she was safe, head falling to Kaz’s shoulder.

           Kaz felt her head on his shoulder and was shocked to find that he didn’t feel much.  The feeling of something being off was less this time, he barely noticed it.  What he felt was relief, and complete.  For the whole month she had been gone he had spent every moment feeling like something was missing.  It was a similar feeling to how he felt after he had climbed on the docks and left Jordie behind.  It had taken years for that feeling to go away and he didn’t want to relive it again. Inej and Jesper looked surprised that he was letting her lean to him.

           “Are you alright?” Inej asked.  He nodded.

           “I know you noticed that something’s wrong with me,” Kaz said.  “With her, its not as bad.”  

           “And maybe love is the reason whyyyy,” Jesper sang out, mimicking the love song that Y/N had sang on their first night at camp.  Kaz glared at him but couldn’t completely hide the amusement from his eyes.  

           “You know she is the only safe from my cane Jesper,” he said, grabbing it from the seat where he’d left it and thumping Jesper in the shoulder with it.

           “That’s just rude,” his friend said, lifting his arm and letting it fall useless to his side.  “Its going to take forever for it to start working again.”  Inej laughed and Kaz smirked a little, leaning his head back on the seat and feeling at peace for the time.

[dialovers-translations]

Diabolik Lovers GRAND EDITION for Switch ;; More, Blood ー Kou [Manservant Ending]

ー The scene starts on the balcony of the Mukami manor

Kou: ...Love, huh?

Are these feelings I harbor for her, love...?

Sometimes it’s painful, yet warm and comforting...

...I see. I am sure that love is just as pretty as the blue sky.

*TIMESKIP*

ー The scene shifts to the hallway at school

Subaru: ...So you’ve decided you won’t return?

Yui: Yes...Sorry.

Subaru: You don’t need to apologize. I don’t give a damn ‘bout you after all.

I only asked ‘cause Ayato and the others are fuckin’ annoyin’ with their constant whinin’.

Kou: ーー Yui!

Yui: Ah...Kou-kun.

Subaru: ...Haah. He’s one of those annoyin’ bastards as well. I’m leavin’.

ー Subaru steps away

Kou: ...What were you talking about?

Yui: Nothing important. ...Are you mad?

Kou: ...I’m not. I’m...no longer my old self.

Yui: Yeah, you’re right.

( Kou-kun trusts me. That’s why it’s fine. )

( After all, now we’ve realized that we’re connected through a strong bond. )

Kou: ...Let’s head home, Yui. I want you...as soon as possible.

Yui: ...Yeah, sure.

*TIMESKIP*

ー The scene shifts to Kou’s room

Kou: Nn...Hah...! Give me...more of your blood?

Yui: ...Ah...

Kou: ...This isn’t enough, not at all. Give me more, more...Say, Yui...You don’t mind, do you...?

Yui: Go ahead...As much as you’d like.

Kou: ...I won’t hold back then. Nn...Phew...!

Yui: ( It hurts...However, I’m sure this is a sign of Kou-kun’s love as well. )

( When I look at it like that, I can take any pain...After all, I finally realized that I love you. )

Kou: ...This is in the way...!

Yui: Eh...?

ー Kou cuts her

Yui: Ah...!!

( He cut through my skin with a knife...! )

Kou: It gets in the way...Anything which separates us should just disappear! Whether it’s your skin, your flesh or even your blood...!

Yui: Ow...!! It hurts...!

Kou: ...!

ー Kou steps back

Kou: I’m sorry, Yui...! I...

Yui: No...It’s okay...I’m fine.

Kou: How could you be fine...You’re bleeding this much...Does it hurt?

Yui: This much is fine...After all, you did this because you love me, right?

In that case, I can endure it...

Kou: ...

...I’ll go get some bandages.

ー He walks away

Yui: ( ...I don’t need those though. )

( As long as Kou-kun licks my wounds... )

ー The scene shifts to the hallway

*THUD*

Kou: ...Fuck...!

Is this love...? This nauseating feeling of my stomach twisting and turning? This is love?

Being at someone’s mercy, having them torment you as they please, is a sign of love...?

...Then were those things done to me all out of love as well? Does that imply all of those people loved me?

...Uu...!

ー The scene shifts to the bathroom

Kou: Cough...Hah...!

...I feel sick...

So love was never a pretty thing to begin with...!? This is just nasty!

Uu! Cough...Cough...Hah, haah...

...I don’t want it...

If this is love, I...

*TIMESKIP*

ー Yui is walking through the hallway

Yui: ( Ever since last night’s happening, Kou-kun hasn’t returned. I wonder if he feels sick? )

Ah, Kou-kun. Good morning. Where were you yesterday?

Kou: ...

Yui: ( Huh? Did he not hear me? )

Kou-kun?

Kou: Ah, hey, hey, Yuma-kun. About the homework we got yesterday.

Yuma: Ah? Ya really think I did that crap?

Kou: Should have figuredー I was just asking.

More importantly, she’s calling for ya. Can ya really ignore her?

Kou: Eh? Who’s ‘she’?

Yuma: The Sow. She’s been callin’ out yer name from behind ya this whole time!

Kou: Are you exhausted, Yuma-kun? Don’t say such spooky things, geez!

...There’s nobody here?

Yui: ...!

Kou: Oh well. Guess I’ll have to copy it from one of the girls in my class.

And therefore, I’m going to school early today, okay? I’m offー (1)

ー Kou runs away

Yuma: ...The fuck was that? Oi, Sow. What’s goin’ on?

Yui: Don’t ask me...!

Ruki: ...Things have become troublesome again.

Yui: Ruki-kun...! What was that just now...?

Ruki: Let me be blunt. To summarize, you no longer exist in his eyes.

...I suppose Kou was simply not ready yet. He could not control his feelings for you within himself.

Yui: That’s why he ignores me? That’s just too...!

Ruki: Now that things have reached this stage, we can no longer expect anything from him. Either way, he could not become Adam.

There is no point in you remaining here. Nobody will stop you if you want to leave this manor. Be my guest.

ー Ruki steps away

Yui: ( No way...So they’re done with me? )

( Both this family...As well as Kou-kun. )

That’s just too cruel...

( ...No, I’m sure this is just temporary. If I just act as I always have, I’m sure the Kou-kun I’ve known and love will return... )

( Right, Kou-kun...? )

*TIMESKIP*

ー The scene shifts to the living room

Yui: Kou-kun! Are you hungry?

Kou: ...

Yui: I brought you a plate of vongole bianco. You like this, right? Won’t you have a bite?

Kou: ...

Yui: ...I’ll leave it here, so please try it if you’d like, okay?

ー The scene shifts to the kitchen

Yui: ( He won’t even look at me...Almost as if I really don’t exist. )

( Why would he go that far? Didn’t he love me? )

...Say...Why? Kou-kun...

*TIMESKIP*

ー The scene shifts to the hallway at school

Female student A: Ah, Kou-kun! You came to school today!

Female student B: We were lonely because you’ve seemed so busy as of late.

Kou: Fufu, my bad! My workload increased, you see.

Female student A: Do you have time today? If you are, why don’t we drop by the karaoke booth together? I want to hear you sing!

Kou: Yeah, sure! Let’s all go then! Perhaps I should reveal my new song~

Female student B: Really!? I’m so excitedー!

Yui: ...

*TIMESKIP*

ー The scene shifts to the living room

Kou: I’m backー Oh.

Ruki: You’ve been coming home late these past days. You haven’t been up to no good, right?

Kou: I’m only hanging out with some girls. Don’t worry, we’re not crossing any lines~ (2)

Ruki: ...Kou. Are you really okay with this?

Kou: What do you mean?

Ruki: Don’t play dumb. I’m talking about Yui.

Yuma: She’s still stickin’ ‘round. We no longer need her so she’s honestly an eyesore.

Azusa: I feel a little bad for her...However, that’s also kind of nice, right...?

Ruki: She refuses to leave this house unless you reject her directly.

She continues to cling onto a sliver of hope that ‘maybe, just maybe’ or ‘perhaps one day’. Just like we did in the past.

Having to hand her over to those guys leaves a bad taste in my mouth, but we are in no position to hog Eve for ourselves when we cannot become Adam.

After all, by doing so, we would be an obstacle to that man’s wish.

Kou: ...So you want me to tell her? To go to the Sakamaki’s place?

Yuma: If ya do that, I’m sure she’ll give up.

Kou: But...If I do that, she might die, you know? Eve has to stay alive, right?

Azusa: ...It might be too late already.

Yuma: Ah? Whatcha mean, Azusa?

Azusa: I can...faintly smell her. A lovely scent...of her blood overflowing.

Kou: From where!?

Azusa: Outside, probably...I don’t know the exact location.

ー Kou rushes outside

Kou: Fuck...! Where!? Where are you!? Yui!

...The scent...of her blood...! This way!?

ー The scene shifts to the sewers

Yui: ...

Kou: ...Yui!!

*Rustle*

Kou: No way, oi...! Why are you covered in blood...!!?

Yui! Open your eyes!

Yui: ...Kou-kun...?

Kou: ...Yui, thank god you’re okay...!

What are you doing here!? Also, where does all this blood come fromーー!?

*Cling*

Yui: ーー Fufu, caught you.

Fufu...Say, does it bring back memories? You used to live in this sorta place in the past, right?

Hey, do you remember? What you said before.

You said ‘You love me, so don’t just casually talk to other people’, right?

Yet, you’re always smiling while talking to other girls.

You love me, don’t you? Then I have the right to say the exact same thing to you, no?

Kou: Yui, you...

Yui: Fufu, you finally looked my way.

Say, gaze at me with your right eye like you always do? ...What do you see?

Kou: ...I can’t see anything.

Yui: Ahaha, liar~! You should see it crystal clear.

...Aah, right. I suppose love isn’t something you see with your eyes. That’s why you don’t know either.

Say, Kou-kun. You love me. You simply haven’t realized that yet.

So...Okay? I’ll make you realize it.

You poor little thing who does not know love, I’ll teach you what a human’s love means.

Kou: ...Love is dirty. I don’t want it.

Yui: Dirty? No way! Love is pure and beautiful, you know?

Kou: How could it be pure...If it triggers such horrible, painful memories, I’d rather not know love at all.

Yui: ...My poor, ignorant Kou-kun.

But you know...Fufu, do you understand? Even if you’re like that, there’s still someone out there who loves you.

Say...? Don’t you think love is wonderful after all?

Kou: ...It’s ugly. Both love...and how you’re acting right now.

Yui: Fufu...

ー The screen fades to black

Yui: I love you, Kou-kun.

ーー THE END ーー

Translation notes

(1) お先 or ‘osaki’ is an abbreviation of the phrase お先に or ‘osaki ni’ which is uttered when someone leaves before someone else.

(2) He calls his relationship with the girls 健全 or ‘kenwen’ which means ‘healthy’ or ‘wholesome’. 

[tinycaprisun]

a song about it raining somewhere else

title: a song about it raining somewhere else characters: chuck taylor x trent beretta word count: 3822 part: 1/1 warnings: mild cursing, and like that’s kinda it? maybe mild angst? but also i’m a baby and it becomes fluff by the end? a/n: howdy, this is not another i’m back i’m back piece as much as it honestly is. no, see this time- this is actually a gift! 2 days ago was @trentjinshi’s birthday and i wanted to write him something! so i sat down for like 6 hours with my goopy goblin gay brain and spit out this obvious magnum opus. so, like, don’t hate it please. also hugest happy birthday to emil again!! yeehaw... i’ve technically already sent this to u

You know, of all days to have the soul crushing realization that you’ve secretly been in love with your best friend, Trent should have expected it to happen on Valentine’s Day.

The man had garbage luck anyways, and good things seemingly never happened to him. So when Chuck animatedly told him he had a date that night with some girl, Trent’s heart shouldn’t have blown apart like he had been shot. Sure, he pretended to be supportive of his buddy, returning his radiant smile despite the effect never reaching his eyes, And yeah, he wished him all the best, telling the taller man he hoped it went well.

But did Trent mean any of that? Fuck no! He was dying on the inside, mourning the loss of a relationship and love he didn’t even know he wanted! Perhaps he should have considered himself lucky that he didn’t start bawling his eyes out on the spot. The New Yorker had a tendency to wear his heart on his sleeve, so the crying really was not out of the question at that moment. But he contained his feelings somehow, moving on through the rest of that afternoon like he was trudging through a snowstorm. Slow, cold, and slowly dying from the inside out.

So that led him here, sitting in his car as the rain started to come down, refusing to turn the damn thing on. He didn’t want to go back to his hotel room. Because if he did, it would remind him of the obvious. He went home alone tonight.

Chuck wasn’t alone. His friend had a probably beautiful person with a perfect personality sitting across from him at a fancy restaurant. A person who wasn’t him. Why couldn’t Trent be his perfect date? He would laugh at his jokes, softly hold his hand as they walked in from the parking lot, pull his chair out for him, admire him like he was the sun-

A harsh banging came from his left, rhythmically tapping against the glass of his car window in time with the rain drops. Trent’s head jerked up from where it had defeatedly slumped against the steering wheel to see who was trying to get his attention.

It was a security guard, holding an umbrella in one hand and wavering him off with another, politely telling him to leave the premises as the arena building they were at was closing. To be honest, getting a ticket from not leaving and instead rotting in that parking lot forever sounded like a far better time than he was having. But, he didn’t have a choice. Story of his life.

Trent started up his car, quickly leaving off into the vast night with only his thoughts to keep him company. And that was rapidly becoming annoying. The singular thing on his mind was one person, and how all this time, his feelings were so obvious. Every time he even glanced in his friend’s direction his heart rate would spike. Before now, he had chalked that up to coincidence or - considering it was Trent and how his body loved to torture him - underlying health conditions. Evidently, it was neither of those things.

One would think he would catch on to his festering crush sooner; considering he thought the entire world of Chuck and whenever he had to go more than a few days without seeing him, he would get a weird sense of longing to be back in his presence, but nothing ever wanted to work out that way. Life thought it would be much funnier if Trent felt like he was being ripped apart at the seams by a simple sentence.

Between the still processing of what it even meant to have a crush on your best friend, and knowing that right now he was out with some other person having the time of his life, Trent was not feeling great as he drove down the freeway. Grumbling under his breath, he flicked the radio on to fill the car with something other than his problems. A song the brunette had never heard before crackled to life, being about part of the way through.

By the time we get there, everybody will be drunk The chairs will be on tables and the band will be unplugged We're gonna look real good, but we're gonna look real rude I'm sorry I'm not sorry that I'm-

Fucking perfect! The last person to mess with the radio in Trent’s car was Chuck, and bastard left it on one of his stupid country stations. Trent didn’t even like country music! That didn’t stop him, however, from a few days ago when they were driving from city to city and let Chuck put on whatever he liked, even if it was something he was going to hate. He would make tiny sacrifices like that all the time for his partner, because he knew it would earn him one of those sunlit smiles. Trent really would do anything to make Chuck happy, and had been since they met.

Late to the party with you Oh, who needs confetti? We're already falling into the groove And who needs a crowd when you're happy at a party for two? The world can wait 'Cause I'm never late to the party if I'm late to the party with you

It... It was a love song?

“Throw me off a fucking bridge.” Trent mumbled to himself as he exited an off ramp. Seriously, who out there was tormenting him and making him have possibly the worst day ever? What omnipotent being did he piss off? He thought he was an alright dude, not getting into other people’s business and sort of keeping to himself. Most days he made an attempt to be somewhat nice to others and never did any of that vile or cruel shit. And yet, he was cursed to drive home while listening to a love song in a genre that he hated, and only helped to remind him more of his best friend.

Let's promise when we get in that we'll try to get right out Fake a couple conversations, make the necessary rounds These kinda things just turn into "Who's leaving here with who?" But I just want 'em all to see me come in late to the party with you

Wasn’t that a funny line. Wanting others to see the person you’re with because of how much you loved them? Trent understood that. Whenever he would go anywhere with Chuck, he would always want people to know he was there with him- whether he realized it or not.

He could talk for hours about him. It could be the simple telling of a funny story, or gushing about how good he was in the ring. Or how great of a friend he was. That made Trent wonder about what Chuck would be like if they were together. His mind wandered, dreaming up scenarios and infinite possibilities as he pulled into his hotel’s parking garage.

The musing didn’t stop when he killed the engine, happily ending that fucking song that was starting to piss him off with how cute it was. Trent pushed himself out of the car, gathering his singular bag from the trunk and wandering inside through the rain. Which, if anyone was curious, was even worse than it was when he left. It was coming down in buckets now, being slung into the New Yorker’s face by the wind.

Checking in was easy enough, having the briefest of conversations with the man at the desk who happened to have a thick southern accent.

Chuck had an accent, but only when he drank a lot. It took about 3 and a half beers for it to come out, but by that point he didn’t care all that much to hide it. He wouldn’t be trashed, as he was a pretty solid drinker and had made putting strong shit back a hobby over the last few years. Trent knew exactly how it sounded, though. A smooth Kentucky accent that always caused him to punctuate the last word of his sentences and pronounce certain things differently. Never anything like “y’all” or something southern like that, after all Chuck wasn’t that dime store cowboy they worked with.

The thing Trent remembered the most about Chuck’s accent was how he said his name. He would draw it out, almost like he was whining, except it was low in his voice and always accompanied by a wide grin. One that’s toothy like Cheshire Cat, and annoyingly sweet like bubblegum. Trent idly wondered if he tasted like bubblegum too, but the thought turned vivid fantasy was interrupted for a moment by the elevator reaching his floor.

The brunette slowly approached his room, still partially entranced by the ideas he had created in his mind as he unlocked his door and slipped in. From there, it felt like he wasn’t even alive anymore. Not in a morbid sense, but as in he wasn’t participating in the concept of reality at that moment. Trent was so disconnected from his actions, it was almost as though he was outside of his body and looking in from somewhere else. So much so, that when he snapped out of his revere from his phone buzzing, he was lying in bed wearing only his boxers.

Not that what was on his phone was of any importance to him. All Trent saw were notifications for things he didn’t care about, the only thing sticking out was a short text from Orange sending him more condolences over his current “issue”. Damn, he was acting like someone had died, not his friend’s heart being broken. Trent didn’t bother responding, tossing the device back on the bedside table and rolling over to face away from it.

The alarm clock on the other stand read “10:17 p.m.”, blinking at him like the piece of shit was broken. It also only now occurred to Trent that he had never turned the lights on while he was basically astral projecting. So he was bathed in darkness, with the only illumination being that digital clock and the street lights below outside the window.

Was he going to fall asleep at a respectable time? Because deep in his bones he could feel the shroud of tiredness creeping through him from all of the emotional energy he drained today. And with that, Trent grabbed one of the unused pillows and wrapped himself around it, cuddling it tightly and not bothering to get under the bed covers.

Maybe if he tried hard enough, Trent could pretend the pillow was something else. --

Who in the hell was knocking at his door at - the New Yorker stopped his angry brain tirade to peek at the clock again - 11:53 at night? He had only gotten to sleep an hour and it was cut short by who knew what. If this was Orange coming to tell him he had broken another hotel microwave by “forgetting to take the metal spoon out of his mac and cheese”, Trent was going to fucking kill him.

Getting up from where he lay, Trent stumbled blearily across the room to the door. In those few seconds, it processed with him that his hair must have come untied while he was sleeping because it was messily draped around his shoulders. Among that, he was still only dressed in boxers, riding rather low on his hips. Maybe he had a restless sleep even though it was quick?

He didn’t care what he looked like though as he slowly pulled the door open with a yawn and blinked from the harsh light flooding in from the hallway. Trent prepared to open his mouth and berate his shorter friend when he heard a sniffle come from in front of him.

Chuck was standing on the other side of the doorway, soaking wet from the rain. By the look on his face, it seemed as though he had been crying as well, with red eyes and a running nose. His eyes didn’t meet Trent’s as he all but whispered, “H-hey, man.”

Did the longer haired brunette care that his friend was ice cold and drenched from head to toe? No. That was why without words, he dragged his friend into the room and hugged him tightly, letting the hotel door slip closed on its own. Chuck didn’t need to be told twice to hug back, nearly crushing Trent from the strength of his shaking arms.

They stayed like that for a good while, with Trent rubbing soothing circles into his back and letting him rest his head on his shoulder when he began to weep again. That was before he slowly drew back, silently taking Chuck’s hand and guiding him to his bed so he could sit. Trent grabbed the comforter and wrapped it around his friend, figuring he could just use a blanket later when he needed to sleep.

“I... didn’t even tell you- what’s wrong..?” murmured the Kentuckian, slouching in on himself and bringing his knees up so they were closer to his chest. He must have been really cold. Trent paused for a moment, looking with a pained yet sympathetic smile.

“Don’t need to. You’re upset, and I gotta fix that.” He wasn’t sure who hurt him, or even what, but just let it be known he was going to destroy whatever it was.

“Well, uh, t-thank you?”

“Yeah, dude. I-” Love you. “Care about you. You’re my friend and shit. Hurts to see you cry.” With that, Trent carefully maneuvered around Chuck and hopped off the bed to go rifle through his clothes for something dry he could wear. And- probably some pants for himself. When he first opened the door, he couldn’t help but notice Chuck gave him the slightest look up and down, with his cheeks going red afterwards. Trent assumed it was only because he was cold, and the warmth from his bedroom had fucked with his internal body temperature.

While digging through his bags trying to find some of the clothes he always packed for his friend - and if it were any other day than today, Trent would have told you it was because he was just being a nice guy. He knew better than that now. - Chuck began to talk again. “Date ditched me...”

“They didn’t show up?”

Chuck sighed. “No, she did. But- when her ex came around... She would’a rather been with him.”

Trent grabbed the extra clothes and stood, turning around to face Chuck who was staring off into the corner. Considering how already destroyed his heart already was from earlier, he was a bit surprised it still had a few more pieces that could shatter at this sight. Coming back over, he set the pile to one side of him, then sat back down on the other. “Chuck...”

“I don’t know what I expected? Every girl, or hell- every guy, I’ve ever tried to date has never worked out for me. I don’t get it.” Oh, Trent should not have been so happy to hear those words. Well, he wasn’t happy to hear most of them, and was hurting for his friend, but two of them in particular stuck out to him like a sore thumb. Every guy. That meant Chuck had been on dates with men. That meant, even though it was fucked up to think about this at the moment, that Trent still had a chance.

“You just haven’t found the right one, man. None of those assholes from before deserve you anyways.” Chuck brought his gaze back over to Trent, eyes glassy and expression- disbelieving. His hair was matted to his head, still wet in some places, but mostly stuck in small spots to his forehead. Everything else about him was still about the same caliber as that, slowly drying and clinging to parts of his body that weren’t being disrupted by the comforter.

“Or maybe I didn’t deserve them...” Something- came over Trent then. There wasn’t a word for the mix of emotions he felt upon hearing that. But what he could feel were his hands taking either side of his best friend’s face and holding his head up to where he would look him in the eyes.

“That’s not true, you and I both know that. Anyone in the world would be lucky to have you.”

Chuck honest to god laughed at that and tilted his head. “Name one person.”

Fuck. For all intents and purposes, the answer he desperately wanted to give was ‘Me’, but that never came out of his mouth. Instead, it was like Trent was suspended in fear, unable to say what he wanted for the thought of being rejected. Or somehow even worse, him thinking it was a joke and getting upset with him. So, Trent said nothing, trying to think of a different response that would be true, but didn’t give himself away.

That was the nail in the coffin, though. Chuck took his silence as an answer, unable to provide a single person who could possibly want to be with him. The other man shook Trent’s hands away from his face, hurt welling up in his eyes with a grimace as he moved to grab the clothes that were gotten for him.

“See,” Chuck hobbled to a standing position, holding the clean garments close to his sodden chest like it was going to protect him from the pain he was feeling. Trent, just say something, anything, he yelled to himself whilst watching Chuck shuffle over to the bathroom and pull the door open. He flicked his eyes down to the floor for a moment before coming back up and locking onto Trent’s. “No one could ever love me...”

“Chuck-” Trent was too late, Chuck had already disappeared into the bathroom and locked the door behind him. And God damn it, his stomach had sunk to the depth of his being, twisting and turning like he was going to be sick. He should have said something. Even if it meant ruining the only thing he really had left to care about. There was his job, his other friends, his family and that; and while they meant a lot to him as well, he truly believed in that moment, and probably for some while now, that Chuck was his world.

As goofy and kind of bullshit as it was to hear, that’s what he felt like. That this guy he’s known for a good chunk of his life was his sun, moon, and every star in the sky. And Trent knew he’s never felt that way about another person. He knew that no other person on this Earth - or fuck, any other planet - could beam at him when they pull an upset and win a match together like he could. No one else made his chest feel warm whenever they complimented him quite the same way that Chuck did. There wasn’t a soul who had the same giggle, the wit, the determination, the personality- fucking any of it. No one had quite what his best friend had, and that was why he loved him.

Trent had no idea how long Chuck was going to be in there, or if he was ever going to come out. Knowing him, he could stay in there all night, not wanting to face the world again- let alone his friend. Even still, he got up from where he was and placed himself a few paces away from his bathroom door. Within his head, he hyped himself up, vowing that no matter if he got scared or felt like everything was going to go wrong, the New Yorker was going to tell him the truth.

Approximately 4 minutes later - if you asked Trent it felt like 10 years - Chuck finally emerged from his hiding place, dressed in some of his friend’s clothes and with shockingly drier hair. Not sure why he was so surprised that he had run a towel through it or something, but that didn’t matter. The taller man seemed confused as to why Trent was standing at the door, but before he could ask what was happening, Trent said, “I do.”

Chuck squinted at him with a, “What?” but it came out choked off and shaky, like he wasn’t prepared to speak.

“You said no one could ever love you, and that’s not true. Because I love you,” He wanted to protest, but now that Trent was talking, he couldn’t stop. “And I didn’t realize it until today, but I seriously am so in love with you that I don’t think I could picture my life without you. You mean everything to me and I would do anything for you just to see your beautiful smile or hear you say my name. And I know it sounds like I’m lying and that I’m trying to make you feel better, but I’m not. If I think about it, I feel like I’ve loved you forever but never realized it, and I wish I could have known sooner. Because you need to know that you’re the most amazing person I’ve ever met, and I would be the luckiest guy in the world to even have a chance with you-”

“Trent-”

“I love the way you purposefully send me a string of those stupid emojis over text because you know it annoys me. I love how you can make anyone feel better with just one smile and your passion for loving others. I love how much you love animals and how every dog you see, you consider kidnapping-'' Trent had become so caught up in his declaration that he hadn’t noticed his friend had moved from in front of him and Chuck’s lips were on his.

Before he could even do anything; not even get a gasp at the sudden action, Chuck was already pulling away, breathing as if he had just run a mile. His face was bright red and his hands were holding either of Trent’s arms as he searched his face for a reaction. Or anything really.

“I- I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have-” It felt as though Trent was living in one of those shitty romantic comedies he secretly liked to watch, because he was the one who cut Chuck off while speaking with an somehow even more desperate kiss. He felt him respond almost instant, bringing one of his hands up to Trent’s face to cup it gently as his own arms latched cautiously onto Chuck’s hips. And that was where they stayed, for who knew how long, but every second of it was exactly where they wanted to be.

You know, of all days to have the life-changing realization that you’re secretly in love with your best friend, Trent - and Chuck for that matter - hadn’t expected it to happen on (the day after) Valentine’s Day.

[ms-rampage]

Eden’s Gate: Aftermath Chapter 4 - Into The Bliss

Warnings: Swearing, Angst, Drug trip (Bliss). Kate and Wheaty being an adorable couple.

Word count: 3.6k

This is a short follow up series to Kidnapped leading up to the nuclear holcaust, and the beginning of New Dawn. 

Summary: Kate tries to get over John and gets a surprising visitor. Paige still suffers with the symptoms from Jacob Seed’s classical conditioning despite being dead. Faith/Rachel learns the truth and secrets about the Winchester family. 

Guest OCs: Joel Winchester [mentioned], Daenerys Winchester [as a infant in Bliss trip]

Guest Characters: Castiel [Supernatural: mentioned], Jacob Seed [mentioned], John Seed [mentioned, and in Bliss trip].

*****

A few weeks have passed, mid September is finally here, and the search for Joseph Seed continues. The lead Paige found turned out to be false, and was just an abandoned, small village with a bunch of mannequins and some druggie. Goddamn cops. Damn pigs with their false leads. 

Kenny, Mark, Nate, Cody, Adrian and a few other locals are putting up 2 more houses on the property. They've been putting them up for almost a month now. Since both Paige and Kate are pregnant, Mark, Nate, Adrian, Marty, and Cody’s families are coming to live with them. 

So building 2 more houses will help with the expanding family of hunters.

Kate and Wheaty have gotten a lot closer, finally making their relationship official, despite them making out several times already. Him learning some things about his new girlfriend, like her knowing how to ride a skateboard. 

"I didn't know you skate!" he tells her. She laughs softly, "Yeah, I've been skating for years now" she tells him. 

She rides around the driveway of her house, showing him some tricks. Landing a kickflip, an ollie and all other basic skating tricks and techniques. 

"Even though I'm pregnant I can still skate!" she jokes. Stops in front of him, while standing on the board. Wraps her arms around his neck, and kisses him. He breaks the kiss after a several seconds. 

"So!" he says, "How did you know that I liked you?". 

She chuckles, "It was quite obvious. You were always nervous around me. Very awkward". 

He laughs, "Well isn't that how most people act when they're around someone they like?. You're a psychologist so you should know!". 

She gives him a quick peck on the lips, "It's a very common sign". 

As they're making out like a couple of teenagers. 

The guys are putting the foundation of the houses, cutting up wood to build the walls.

“Paige!!!” Kenny calls out for his wife, as he looks around for his extra tools and other materials. 

“Yeah?!?” she responds, standing by the back door.

“Can you get me a hammer, electric saw and the jar of nails from the shed. Please” he asks.

She looks down at the 9 month old infant in her baby wrap.

“Umm” she points to their infant daughter, “I’m a little preoccupied here!!”. 

“Please. They’re not on the top shelf” he says.

She rolls her eyes, “Okay, I’ll be back”.

“Thank you!!” he responds, measuring the pieces of wood. 

Paige walks to the shed they have in the back of their property.

“The stuff your daddy makes me do” she says to Cristina, “You’re gonna be a big sister!. A brother? A little sister?”.

She opens the shed door, a radio on the metal table making an annoying static sound.

“Damn, old ass radio” she mutters as she looks around the jar of nails, and hammer.

Sighing, as she looks around for the hardware tools, “Okay where are you?!?”.

She finds the hammer in a tool box a few inches above her head. As she reaches for the hammer, and grabs it. She bumps into the metal table with the radio on it. The static goes away, becoming clear and an old nightmare of hers comes back.

Only you can make all this world seem right

Only you can make the darkness bright

Paige gasps loudly, drops the hammer, bumping into the shelves knocking over jars, and boxes of tools, grabbing her head. The song plays distortedly, flashbacks from when she was locked in a cage, being tortured by Jacob and going through his trials. Killing those innocent people. His words replaying over, and over in her head.

TRAIN, HUNT, KILL, SACRIFICE. CULL THE HERD.

Her vision turns red, and black. She starts to hyperventilate. Her screams get trapped in her throat.  

Flashing images of dead carcusses of people and animals. The wolves. The Judges. That stupid music box Jacob had to fuck up his victims minds.

Kenny, Adrian, Mandy, Mark, Nate, Kate, Wheaty and everyone else on the property hear Paige’s panicked screams, and Cristina’s cries. They all run to the shed, and find her on the ground screaming, clenching her head.

Cristina crying, and wailing. Only You playing on the radio.

Kate goes to turn off the radio. 

“Paige!!!” Kenny yells, shaking her shoulders, “Paige!!”. She stops screaming, her voice turning hoarse and raspy. Tears streaming down her face, and hyperventilating. 

He takes Cristina from the wrap, and hands her to Mandy, and takes her inside.

“Hey, are you okay?!” Kenny asks, comforting his wife.

She shakes her head, crying into her husband's chest, “No, No. Jacob may be dead but he still lurks in my head”.  He holds his wife, closely, comforting her. Stroking her hair. He, and Mark help her up, and take her inside the house. Sitting at the kitchen table with her mom, sister and Rachel.

“What happened?!” Kate asks.

Stammers over her words, “I-I went to go get a hammer, saw and nails for Kenny. I bumped into the table with the old radio. Then I heard “Only You” play, and I had flashbacks from St. Francis, when I was locked in that cage”. 

Crying softly. Thinking of all that would go away when she killed Jacob a month earlier, but apparently it looks like his spirit is sticking around for a while to torment Paige.

“The images from his stupid slideshow, the trials. Me killing those innocent people under his control with that fucking music box”.

Mandy places her hand on her eldest daughter's hand, “It’ll go away. We’ll work on it”.

Kate clears her throat, “Speaking of Jacob. That day when you kill him, and uh- and I killed John, when we were sent on that Bliss trip. What did you see?”.

Looking down at her hands, Paige says, her voice shaken, “The night dad was killed”.

She turns to Kate, “I saw everything, the whole house went up in flames, and I woke up”.

“I saw the same thing” Mandy says, “Then it was the day I lost both of you”.

“What did you see?!” Paige asks Kate.

“It was from that day Morgan and I exorcised the demon out of John”.

Rachel turns to Kate in confusion, “John got possessed by a demon?!?”.

She nods her head, “Yeah, the demon that was possessing him. Saleos. He had John kill me”.

All 3 of their eyes widened, “You were dead?!?” Mandy exclaims.

Nodding her head, “Yeah, I was strangled by “John”. He couldn’t stop him. I was dead for an hour then Castiel brought me-”

“Cas was there!?!?!” Paige interrupts her, “I don’t mean to interrupt but he was there?!?”. 

Kate exhales, “Yeah he was there, he told me I met an untimely death that wasn’t supposed to happen, and that I wasn’t supposed to die. Where I was, was the final stop before getting into Heaven, like a plane of existence. The Other Side is what he called it. Then he brought me back to Earth, and I went back into my body. He wiped John’s memory of being possessed, me being dead and all that shit. But the memory of him being possessed can be restored by me, and only me. If I were to bring it up to him”.

Rachel looks at all three of them, confused and asks “So you said you were dead?!?”.

“Yes” Kate answers.

“Castiel? Like the Angel?!” she asks, trying to keep up with what’s going on.

“Yeah, the Angel” Paige answers. 

“I also want to mention that same day when demon John killed me, and I was in The Other Side. I finally met dad” she says, her voice going soft.

Mandy and Paige look at each other, then back at Kate.

“You- you met dad?!?” Paige asks in disbelief. 

Kate nods, shedding a single tear, “Yeah, Cas brought him there. I saw that exact same thing when I was on my bliss trip at St. Francis”. 

Paige narrows her eyes at her, and looks around in disbelief, “Wait, so on your Bliss trip. You saw demon John killing you via strangulation, then you were taken to The Other Side or Limbo basically, where you saw yourself talk to our dead dad?! And Castiel was there?”.

Trying to process all that she said, “Yeah, pretty much” she chuckles. 

“Bliss-ception” Paige jokes, “Or death-ception”.

“So what did you and your dad talk about?!” Mandy asks.

Trying to hold back her tears, “I asked him what happened to me, what happened that night when he was killed. Azazel killed him, and that same demon did it to our cousin's mom, Mary, several years earlier in the same way, and that's how most of us Winchester’s go out. I told him that I never got to know him, and he said in these exact words, “I know you didn’t. That’s why you’re here, it was a chance for you to finally meet me”.”

Mandy starts to tear up. Holding her head up with her fists placed underneath her chin.

“Then he asked me “How’s your mother and Paige?”, and the final words he said to me before he disappeared. They still play in my head to this day, they were “I’m always watching over you”.”

All of them crying, softly sobbing uncontrollably. Rachel started to get teary eyed just by hearing all of this. 

“So. So all of you have died, and came back?!?” she asks.

All three of them nod, “I’ve died 9 times” Paige says.

“I’ve died 4 times” Kate says, lifting her hand up a bit. 

“3 times” Mandy says.

Learning about what this family does for a living. Traveling across the country, killing monsters. 

**********

Later that night, Rachel is in her room, sitting on her bed reading.

She gets a knock at her door, “Yes?” she responds.

The door opens, and Kate steps inside, “Hey”, she says.

“Hi” she responds looking up from her book.

“You okay?” she asks, concern in her voice. 

Rachel nods her head, “Yeah, I’m fine”

Nodding her head, “Okay, good. Because umm you looked a bit shaken up from what we were talking about earlier” Kate says, sitting down on a chair by the bed.

Rachel closes her book, setting it down on her nightstand.

“Have you ever met God?” she asks.

Kate nods her head, “Chuck is his name. He’s a writer”

She sits up in her bed, “So when Paige said “We’re all just a part of his story” that wasn’t a metaphor, or anything?”.

She shakes her head, “No. It wasn’t a metaphor or anything. We’re all just a book. We’re all a part of his story”.

Rachel looks down at the floor for a few moments. Kate clears her throat, and says.

“I know Paige, and pretty much everyone living here would be completely against this, but is there anyway, or a chance you can get a hold of some Bliss?!” 

She looks at her with a head tilt, “I may have a vial. Why?”.

Embarrassed, and ashamed to even think about why she wants it. She takes a deep breath, and says.

“Because I, and I hate to admit it, but I want to see John again. Even if it’s an old memory of us happy together”.

Kate starts to tear up, “I don’t know why he still has this affect on me!!. It’s like I can’t let him go. Like he’s entwined with me, a part of me. That day when he died, he looked me in the eye before taking his last breath. I’m with Wheaty now, I can’t be having these feelings for an ex partner of mine that is dead!!”.

“He took your virginity, didn’t he?” she asks, looking at her with soft puppy like eyes. 

Nodding her head while tears stream down her cheeks. 

“Yeah, yeah he was my first time. I wanted to lose it to someone who was worthy enough to take it. John, at the time was worthy enough, to me, to take it, but now I'm starting to think I wished someone else took it". 

Rachel places her hand on Kate’s hand. 

“That’s why. He took something from you that you can never get back, and he left his spawn inside you. Growing”.

Kate’s breathing turns shakey, that ball in her throat making it hard for her to speak.

“I think maybe, seeing him again, maybe it’ll help me get him out of my head” she was able to speak up.

Rachel gets up from her bed, and goes to her closet. Going through one of her bags, and pulls out a small vial of the pale green drug.

“Here” she says, handing her the small vial, “If you concentrate hard enough. You will be able to communicate with John even if he’s dead”.

She looks at the vial, examining it. “So do I drink it? Or?”

“You can drink a little bit of it, or you can inhale it” she answers. 

“Okay, thank you” she says, getting up from the chair, and leaves her room.

*********

An hour later everyone is asleep, Kate is getting ready for bed. She looks over at the vial of bliss Rachel gave her an hour ago. Contemplating whether or not to take a sip, or sniff of it, or just not use it at all.

She locks her bedroom door, grabs the vial, opens it, and takes a long, deep inhale of the hallucinogenic drug. Quickly closing the bottle, setting it down on her desk.

Concentrating hard on seeing John again, and maybe tell him to get out of her head. She’s ashamed to say to herself. Let alone think of it. Her vision starts to get blurry, white, green, red, and disoriented. Everything is tripping out.

Sparks flying, she falls back on her bed. Letting the drug do it’s thing. After a few minutes have passed, feeling like she’s falling. Feeling light as a feather.

*Into the Bliss*

She wakes up in a white, and green wonderland.

The sky green, the clouds a whitish pale green. The sun shining down on her, warming her up.

“Holy fuck" she whispers, “That shit worked”.

A jackalope rabbit sitting at her feet. It hops away when she moves, and sits up.

Her clothes are different from what she was wearing earlier. 

A plain white, knee length flannel dress, and no shoes on. Her hair in a clean well done braid. 

A princess cut diamond ring on her left ring finger.

She looks around, and sees that she’s laying in a field by a huge tree with a tire swing attached to it. 

"What the fuck?!?!" she mutters to herself. 

She continues to look around the blissed out wasteland. 

“Kate!?!” a distorted male voice echos. 

She looks behind her, and sees a figure approaching her through the cloud of bliss 30 feet away. The clouds of bliss as the figure approaches her give off a wing like shape behind them. She stands up, and slowly approaches them.

“Kate!?!” the voice says again slightly clearer but still distorted. 

“John?” she mutters confused, as she slowly approaches the other person. 

“Kate!?” they say again.

It takes her a moment to realize it’s John’s voice. 

“John!?!” she yells out. Slight hope in her voice.

The figure gets closer, and she is immediately brought to shameful tears when she sees that it’s really John.

“John?!” she says again, tears streaming down her face. A huge smile on her face. Just by seeing him she forgets why she wanted the drug in the first place. To tell his ass off. 

“I’m here darlin” he says, smiling, his voice echoing throughout the hallucination.

Those perfect blue eyes staring back at her. Placing his hands on her waist, pulling her closer to him. She places her hands on his shoulders. They stare at each other for what felt like years. Decades. Centuries. A Millennium. Their foreheads touching. 

He looks down at her stomach, his hands placed where her baby bump would be.

“She’s gonna be so beautiful” he tells her.

Confused, Kate looks down, and sees that her stomach had grown bigger. Telling herself it's all part of the hallucination, and that she doesn’t have to go in panic mode.

John kneels down, and kisses her baby bump. 

Feeling the baby kick. Tears running down her cheeks, this is what she wanted, but she knows she'll never have it. This is the closest she’ll ever get to having a family with John. He stands up, and kisses Kate on the lips. Holding her close in his arms. Her arms wrapped around his neck. 

One of his hands on her lower back, the other holding the back of her head. 

He lifts her up, his arms wrapped around her lower half. He slowly spins in a circle with the love of his life in his arms. Kissing her. 

Even though this is all a hallucination and John is most likely buried 6 feet underground. Everything felt so real. Kate buries her face in the crook of his neck as he slowly spins her around. 

It doesn't dawn on her that she wanted to tell John to leave her alone and get out of her head because she's with someone else. Looking like a total clown. 

The sound of a baby cooing, catches her attention. She looks over to her right, and sees a white crib in the middle of the field.  John puts her down, taking her hand in his, and they walk towards the crib.

Looking down at her stomach, seeing it had shrunk back to its normal size from before.

"Okay this trip is getting way too personal" she thinks to herself, "And I hate it!". 

They approach the crib, and see a baby girl who looks about 6 months old in a pink, and white onesie. 

Black hair like Kate’s, and blue eyes like John. 

The name above her on the headboard of the crib says “Daenerys A.B. Seed”.

John picks her up from the crib, cradling her in his arms. Smiling down at his infant daughter.

“She looks just like you” he says, turning to Kate. 

“She has your eyes” she says to him, holding her tiny foot. 

He hands her to Kate. Baby Daenerys looks so much like her with John’s blue eyes. Cradling her in her arms, they look down at their beautiful little girl. Trying her best not to cry again. 

She puts her back in the crib, and turns to John. Cupping his cheeks, and kisses him. Embracing her tightly. She closes her eyes, resting her head on his shoulder. 

He rocks her slowly in his arms. Hoping for this to never ever end. If she could stay here forever with him, and their daughter she would. She would have no problem with that. 

“Kate!!” another voice speaks out from behind her. She pulls away from John and looks behind her. Looking around and seeing no one, just the hallucinations of the Bliss, and it's weird, mutant animals. Thinking it's her father since he was there in her Bliss trip back at St. Francis. 

She turns back to face him and sees another man's face looking back at her. Holding her. 

“Hello sweet-cheeks!!!” Gabriel greets her with a huge smile.

She can literally hear a record scratch in her head as he says this. Eyes widened, mouth falling slightly open.

“Gabriel?!? What are you doing here?!?” she exclaims, trying to release herself from his hold.

“You shouldn’t be here” he tells her, “You need to get out". 

Confused to why her guardian Archangel is here. In her Bliss hallucination, “What?!? Why?!?”. 

“You need to leave, and forget about John” he tells her, “He’s no good and you know that. I'd tell you, but you'll find out in the weeks to come". 

Still confused, and stumped “I-I don’t. What? Tell me what?!!?". 

“It’s important that you get out of here!” he tells her. Cupping her cheeks. 

Shaking her head, “This isn’t real. This isn’t real, you’re a hallucination!!” she yells out.

"You're a hallucination!" he sasses her. 

“Where’s John?!?” she orders him to tell her.

“He was never here. It was all me. I’m more real than your psychedelic drug trip” the Archangel tells her, “I’m real. This isn’t. You need to leave. John is dead. That's it, you can't save him!”.  

Before she could protest against him, Gabriel snaps his fingers and makes a cloud-like portal appear behind her. She looks back, sees the cloud rift portal, and turns back to him. 

"You might hate me for this" he tells her and aggressively pushes her through the rift portal back to her universe.

Kate wakes up in a cold sweat, confused. Not sure how long she was out, she looks out her window and sees the sun rising up from behind the mountains. 

Her hallucination happened throughout the whole night? Even though it felt like it was 10 minutes. Trickster making himself known by pretending to be John and telling her to get over him, move on with her life. What the actual fuck Gabriel?!?.

[btsinlondon]

Backseat Driver

Pairing - Jungkook x Reader

Word Count - 1.6K

NSFW 18+

You get a late night text from Jungkook. He picks you up from your house and you end up fucking in the backseat of his car...

It’s 11pm. You’re up late and home alone. Sprawled on the sofa in the dark living room, scrolling through Netflix, you can’t decide what to watch. Your phone lights up on the coffee table and you peer over to see who texted you. 

You heart lurches in your chest and you swallow hard. The text is from Jungkook. You met him at a house party last weekend and although it was the first time you met, you had stalked him on Instagram for weeks and weeks.

Now he somehow had your number and was messaging you late on a Thursday night. 

Jungkook : Hey, what you up to?

You read the message and bite your lip. You pause for only a second before replying 

Hey, nothing much. Just deciding what to watch on Netflix. Pretty bored tbh. 

You keep the message brief, but wait with baited breath for his reply...

Nice. I’m bored too. Wanna go somewhere? I’m just parked up down the street. You live on Church Road right? 

Fuck. He’s right round the corner. What the fuck do I do now? You sweep your hands through your tangled hair and get up off the sofa, excitement and anxiety and arousal all bubbling up inside the pit of your stomach. 

Quickly heading upstairs to the bathroom, you grab the bottle of mouthwash and swig the blue liquid before spitting it out. You catch your reflection in the mirror above the sink. Your cheeks are flushed pink but you feel oddly confident. 

Once downstairs, you grab your phone and reply 

Yeah? Sure, why not. I’ll be outside the gate in 2 mins..my house is number 36

Your heart is pounding and your hands are shaking slightly as you lock up the front door and head down the pebbled path to the main road. You see the headlights get brighter and hear the screech of the breaks. Jungkook gets out of the car and walks round to greet you. 

“Y/N, great to see you. Thanks for being up for a late night drive. Let’s go.” he doesn’t even wait for your response as he opens the passenger door for you. 

“Hey, thanks. Such a gentleman” you smirk, still feeling super confident. If this doesn’t lead to fucking Jungkook in the back of his car...then you’ve seriously read all the signs completely wrong. 

The roads are empty as he speeds down the dark street and turns the corner onto the main road which is lit by a row of street lamps. The radio is on quietly in the background so you can’t really tell what song is on and the windows are rolled down, letting in the balmy summer night air. 

You lean your arm out of the window and let the breeze catch in your hair, wondering where Jungkook is going to take you. 

“Nice to just get out of the house...to drive without knowing where to go, right?” he glances over at you, his long curly locks framing his beautiful face.

His round eyes catch the light of the street lamps as you head out of town and into the countryside. 

You drive in a comfortable silence for a few moments before he speaks again 

“I’m gonna drive us to that country park with the lake. I bet we will have it all to ourselves” he smiles again and changes gear. You smile back and reach your hand out of the window to catch the breeze, sweeping it over the invisible billows of air. 

He pulls into the main entrance of the park and drives slowly down the gravel road. The car park on your right is completely empty, but he drives right past it and continues up onto the grass. 

“Let’s turn out the lights” he switches off the car lights and it’s only because the moon is so bright in the sky that you can actually see where you’re going. 

He drives down over the thick grass towards a group of trees next to the south side of the lake. 

You look at the black water glittering under the moonlight as he stops the car, rolls up the windows and turns off the engine. The radio goes silent and you are suddenly really aware of the blood pumping around your head and the low throbbing in between your legs. 

“So..” he says matter-of-factly “Looks like nobody will disturb us out here” 

“Not likely, yeah..” you bite your lip and begin wonder how long it will take for him to kiss you. Subconsciously you shift a little closer to him and he continues to stare at you, fingers clasped on the handbrake, the other hand fiddling with the hem of his t-shirt. 

The tension in the car is intense, you feel as though he can hear your heart beating loudly in your chest. You want to touch him, to kiss those soft pouty lips.

You suddenly move your hand on top of his and feel his grip get tighter on the handbrake. He takes a deep breath, closes his eyes for a moment and then his next words take you by surprise - 

“So I’ve never fucked anyone in the backseat of a car before-um, what I mean is you are so hot...uh- and this is spontaneous as fuck but I want you. Seriously, just look at you” he can’t take his eyes off you, he flicks his head to get his hair out of his eyes.

He’s so gorgeous, you can’t help but admire his perfect features in the low light...the way his hair hangs loose across his forehead. His sharp jawline, thick neck and strong shoulders...

You aren’t sure how your Thursday night escalated into this, but you’re now half naked in the back of Jungkook’s car, your knickers discarded somewhere under the seat in front. 

Your skirt is pushed up around your waist and he’s pounding into you so feverishly with such a grinding rhythm, it’s sending you wild with every thrust. 

Your legs spread wide, one foot pushing against the drivers seat, one hand grabbing hold of the handle above the window, cold metal seatbelt digging into your back. 

‘Fuck, you feel so good baby girl,” you buck your hips and clench around his hard cock as he lets out a low moan in the back of his throat “uhhhh,” he’s not shy of making noises and it turns you on so much, so you roll your hips into him again and he whimpers “fuck...” He’s loving every minute of this and you want to give him the ultimate fantasy which he’s clearly been hoping for since he sent you that text.

You wrap your legs around his waist, allowing him to go deeper still and his grinding hips adds friction against your swollen clit. 

“Oh god..., feels s-so good.” you gasp as he pulls almost all the way out before pushing slowly back in, brushing against that sweet spot inside. 

“You like that? What about this?” and he angles himself so every hard thrust hits your g-spot you are in pure bliss. This beautiful man is going to send you over the edge, right here in the back of his fucking car.

“Faster” you gasp, barely able to get the words out. He moans again, his cock twitching inside you and he moans once again, losing control at the sight of you splayed out under him. 

“I like it when you tell me what you want. Say it. Say what you want” he demands. 

“I want you to fuck me faster. I’m so close...uh yeah, god right there..p-please” his hips move with such speed, every time he hits against your mound, you feel your body edging closer and closer to an orgasm.

He’s pressing harder into you, pushing you into the car seat, his hair hanging over his face. Your hand slips on the steamed up window, gasping through the overwhelming passionate pace as you grind in sync.

He suddenly pulls out and flips you round so that your forehead and hands press against the window and your ass pushes into his crotch. He realigns himself with you, grabbing hold of your hips and teasing your wet slit with the tip of his cock. It’s tantalising and your pussy throbs with hot and desperate need, it’s almost painful.

“P-please. Jungkook....I need you” he nudges the head of his cock a little deeper, stretching your entrance gently and it’s so maddening you can’t help but let out a desperate cry.

“You want it? You want me to fuck you hard until you cum?” his tone is devilish and you can’t take his torment any longer.

“PLEASE. Jungkook..just fuck me”

And he thrusts into you. Hips slapping. Skin on skin. Pulsing bodies. Your face pressed up against the glass, blissed out breath on the window.

And you’re cumming in waves of deep pleasure, your body jerking uncontrollably as you clench around him and his moans are sweet and you can feel his cock pulsing inside you as he cums, riding out his orgasm whilst grabbing so firmly onto your bare skin.

Collapsing as a tangle of half naked bodies in the back seat of his car, you awkwardly start to pull on your clothes. The space suddenly feels cramped as you bump into each other, chuckling as you both attempt to get dressed.

“It got pretty steamy in here, huh?” He smiles and you notice all the windows are fogged up and he kisses you on your forehead before opening the door of the car. You collapse back into the seat and can’t quite believe what just happened.

Jungkook gets back into the drivers seat and swivels to look at you, a hot and sweaty mess in the back seat.

“Want me to drive you home? Or shall we find somewhere else to go?”

The end

based on a personal experience...

[adonis-koo]

tease

| 2 |

↳ Summary: You came with the intentions of your best friend landing a job as a stripper. You never meant to catch the eyes of the king stripper of the establishment- Jeon Jungkook, yourself. With what was supposed to be a harmless way of paying off college debt faster you find yourself falling into a very odd and passionate relationship with your new mentor. Between infidelity, passion and jealousy there’s never a dull moment at Cherry Bomb.

↳ Pairing: Stripper!Jungkook/Reader

↳ Genre: Smut, fluff, angst, drama, slice of life, relationship problems without the relationship, reader is such a shy baby protect her, MUTUAL pining, so much sexual frustration,  

Word count: 9.4K

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Tags: dry humping disguised as a lapdance, heavy sub/dom overtones. MC is still thirsting over guk

Song mood

Warning: This story touches on both sexual harassment and abuse, please read with caution if any of these things are triggers to you. Additional warnings will be given when a chapter present them.

——

If there was one thing that stayed consistent in your life, it was the constant theme of you not wanting to do something and somehow still doing it anyways. You were fidgeting at the door of Cherry Bomb regretting ever being born as you fiddled with the black mini skirt you wore, wishing it had been a tad bit longer then it was. 

The cropped bustier top was also a poor choice in hindsight but this was a strip club and you weren’t about to stick out like a sore thumb, even if it was at the cost of your personal comfort.

You had been pacing outside of the door for a good ten minutes, checking your phone again before groaning altogether, his performance would be starting soon and you were positive if you didn’t go in now there was no way in hell you would when he started. Just the idea of him on stage had you red in the face and ready to melt.

Could you seriously face him while he did that? How could anyone have such confidence? Couldn’t he just invite to see him after he performed? Why did you have to watch and then see him?

You almost let out a whine as you stamp your feet, gaining some attention by passing by club goers, making your face all the more red. You must’ve looked like such a dumbass. Forcing yourself to swallow hard before forcing your feet towards the club, opening the door before letting the neon lit atmosphere sweep you away.

You had never been clubbing on your own, let alone something as scandalous as a strip club. But Korea still had strict laws when it came to prostituation and naturally, stripping went hand in hand, that didn’t stripping illegal obviously. But you were well aware it was still more conservative here. Or at least at Cherry Bomb. If dicks were whipped out it would be a cold day in hell before you ever stepped foot in this strip club.

It was an insanely crowded night in Cherry Bomb and there was barely in tables open and most single seats taken, there was no way all of these girls could be here for Jungkook, right? That’s when you noticed workers on the floor, Hoseok being one of them sitting at a table of five women, smiling brightly as he eagerly talked to them all. There were a few other workers as well but you didn’t recognize them.

The first place you had went though, was the bar. You’d need something strong to survive this performance and then be able to form a decent conversation with Jungkook afterwards. Your stomach was already working up a nasty pit and you felt extremely nauseous despite having not ate before coming. The only solution you could pray would work is a mixed whiskey.

“Damn he’s determined I’ll give him that.” Taehyung spotted you with a laugh as you groaned, sitting down on the bar stool as you pressed your hands against your face. Both in embarrassment and exasperation, “Want something to drink?”

“Coke and whiskey please.” You almost pleaded with a pout, red cheeks and all as you rubbed your eyes with another sigh making him laugh. He went to work deftly on your drink, his speed and delicacy almost mesmerizing and just enough of a distraction to keep you from thinking about what you were about to witness.

How did girls come here to destress? You had never felt so stressed in your life because of this place, “Is this Jungkook’s muse?”

Your head shot up to the sound of a more gravelly voice as you furrowed your brows, the other bartender had made his way over with an amused look as Taehyung laughed, handing you your drink as he answered, “Yeah that’s her.”

His muse? Your face was already hot as it was, did they really have to go around and say that too?

“Oh wow you weren’t kidding, she’s completely out red.” The other bartender snorted out a laugh at your endearingly embarrassed face, furthering as you groaned. Why did god torment you like this?

“This is Yoongi,” Taehyung waved a hand towards him as he laughed along with him, “If you end up taking the job you’ll get acquainted with us quickly.”

You feel the uneasiness taking over your body as you set your drink down. Everyone seemed to be really sold on you taking the job. Did they really think you could do it? You pressed your lips together as you glanced between them hesitantly before sighing altogether, “Does he really think I can do it?”

Taehyung gave you a sympathetic smile as he plucked the cup up from beside you, pouring out it’s contents in the sink as he began washing it, “Look, I’ve known Jungkook since he was a trainee, he’s never took on a trainee of his own before, so if he says you can...Well I'd be willing to bet he’s onto something.”

Despite his words you still had a hard time believing it. You said no more as you grabbed your drink, swiveling around in your chair to face the stage again, letting Taehyung’s words linger in your mind. He had never took on a trainee before? You weren’t going to pretend you knew a single thing on how the strip industry worked and how strippers were trained. In fact, you didn’t even realize they took on trainee’s but you supposed it made sense.

Taehyung made it sound like a big deal that he had choose you, you didn’t understand why outside of him being the main attraction here but you’d just have to go on his word for now. Standing up you began to look for a seat as the lights dimmed. His show should be starting any minute now.

Spotting an empty table more towards the back you made your way over, setting your glass down as you fiddled with you skirt. Sitting down in the plush seat as you continued to wiggle to try and get comfortable, but no matter how much you moved your nerves were too on edge to be truly relaxed.

Your stomach had instantly dropped into a pit when the stage relit and thats when you saw him, and just like the previous month, Jungkook had been clad in a white button up and slacks, his tie already loose and hair styled, he practically dripped with sex appeal. The music had already started up but he hadn’t moved, all eyes on him with bated breath.

All it took was one smirk and the screams of the girls in the crowd heightened, he owned this stage and he knew it. His movement was so smooth and captivating as he began the routine, or was it all freeform?

You weren’t sure, but what you did know was the way his body moved so sensually, the way those long nimble fingers glided against the buttons of his shirt. Your face was hot red and it was difficult to not look away at this point.

Jungkook wasn’t in any hurry though despite the roar of the crowd, that amused, sultry smirk on his face clearly eating up every reaction from the crowd. His eyes though...that’s what caught your attention the most, they looked like they were sweeping the crowd in search of something.

It didn’t disrupt his performance though as he finally let the button up drop from his shoulders.

His chiseled upperbody on display, that slim waist complimenting his broad, muscular shoulders that would’ve felt so good stretching against.

Your hands almost slapped your face in horror at the idea that had so rudely popped into your head, but once it was there you couldn’t get it to leave. The idea of being underneath him. You’d be squirming to close your thighs from the pure embarrassment, but he wouldn’t let you....Groaning you sank further into your seat, face burning up at the idea and your face wasn’t the only thing hot and bothered now. 

His hand’s, fuck his hands...they had just popped the button of his slacks, were they warm at the moment? Would he have a tight grip on your thighs while prying them open?

You tightly crossed your legs at the idea as you grabbed your glass, knocking back a large mouthful as your throat burned from the twinge of vanilla that had tinged the whiskey.

Your head beginning to feel a little lighter and less embarrassed but your mind was beginning to fog and thoughts of Jungkook in less than appropriate ways began to invade your thoughts. Seeing him push down his slacks though made your eyes wide and that’s when you realized what he had been looking for in the crowd. You.

You had only met his eyes briefly before they dropped to the ground, your mind sobering as you almost let out a whine.

Why? Why? Why? Did you have to be like this? Your thighs kept rubbing together in need of friction though and your mind was still spiraling at the briefest glance of those thick thighs, you could almost feel his hot skin against your core, how wet you’d be riding those taut thick muscles. Fuck.

You weren’t sure when he had gotten off stage, but seeing those thighs right in front of you had you panicking. Jungkook had gave you the worlds biggest smirk, drinking up those red cheeks and your flustered eyes as he made himself comfortable against your hips. Rolling into yours agonizingly slow as you squirmed beneath him, “Like that babygirl? I saw you working yourself up from the stage.”

You almost strangled out a whimper at his words, your knuckles were beginning to turn white at the feeling of his hardened length strapped tight in the confines of his Calvin Klein’s rubbing hard against your thigh, “What were you thinking in that pretty little head of yours, huh?”

“I-is this how you were gonna convince me?” You managed to fumble out, trying to keep his husky voice from invading your mind further while struggling to keep your hips from needily bucking into his.

You could hear him laugh against your ear, his voice like liquid velvet, smooth and deep as he murmured, “No actually, but fuck. You look too cute sitting here like a good little girl ready to get on your knees for me.”

Your hands shot to your face, covering your eyes as best you could despite your body temperature flaring at his words, you had never even heard someone come close to talking so much filth in your ear. Having it slam dunk it self so abruptly on you had you reeling and Jungkook laughing again at your expression, “Fuck- is this at least working to convince you?”

“No.”

“I figured as much,” Jungkook flashed a smug grin at your figure, giving one last thrust to your hips, his length hitting against your sensitive clit making you breath out an embarrassing squeak, “Meet me in my dressing room okay? We’ll talk there.”

It wasn’t until he got off you that you were able to breath properly, sighing in relief as he made his way to collect the money on stage before heading towards the staff door. Oh my god. You grabbed your glass before harshly chugging the rest.

You’d need it for whatever happened through that door, your body was hot and embarrassingly wet and he had barely even did anything. Maybe taking this job wasn’t a good idea. You shuffled in your seat for a moment, debating on just calling it a day and going home.

But it had took you so long to work up the courage to come into the club, it would be a waste to not at least get the full rundown on what stripping would ensue. And you’d be lying to say you weren’t interested…curious in Jungkook. You facepalmed in shame, images of your boyfriend running through your mind, you loved Hanjae….right? You gnawed on your lower lip before standing up. He’d kill you if he ever found out you stepped foot into Cherry Bomb on your own, let alone for the proposition of becoming a stripper yourself.

One step became two and eventually you found yourself reluctantly pushing the staff door open to see a flurry of people. Strippers to be exact, running around half dressed or getting dressed while making their way to and fro. You fidgeted for a moment unsure of where to go in the maze of hallways. Where would Jungkook’s dressing room be in all of this?

Noticing two of the workers talking animatedly you timidly walked over, coughing a little to gain their attention as you asked meekly, “Um...I’m looking for Jungkook…”

They both shared looks before you got the quick impression that your presence was unwanted, the one on the right rolling her eyes before they narrowed into a pointed glare, “Clients aren’t allowed back here princess. What are you an airhead?” Your lips parted in surprise at how rudely she scoffed before waving her hand, “Y’know what? Whatever, probably just one of his daily deepthroat sessions- down the hall make a right and go all the way down, his is the last door on the left.”

You nodded before quickly lowering your gaze, a daily deepthroat session? Your lips quivered slightly before forcing yourself to keep going. Trying to ignore the stares you received as you followed the workers directions. The plaque on the door let you know this must’ve been his dressing room, labelled ‘Jeon Jungkook’

Your hand was shaky but you forced it to rap against the door before fidgeting once more, he didn’t lure you here just to shove his dick down your throat, right?

Thoughts raced through your mind left and right as your nervousness began to take over, just as you were about to bail the door opened to reveal Jungkook, a million dollar smile on his face at the sight of you, “Good to see I didn’t scare you off babygirl, come in.”

He signaled you in while stepping back. You gave a small sigh of relief to see he had meanwhile changed into a pair of sweatpants and a loose shirt, his hair looked rather wet and messy from running his hand through it but at least he was fully dressed. Swallowing you stepped in with a nervous smile as you shut the door, “You almost did.”

Jungkook turned over his shoulder, a cocky smile placing on his lips as he raised his brows, letting out a hum as he asked, “Then why are you here? Hm?”

Why were you here? You knew it was just a teasing comment, but you had thought about his words for a moment because honestly, you didn’t know yourself. Wrapping your arms around yourself you glanced away from him before shrugging reserved, “Well I dropped my old job a few weeks ago and bills won’t pay themselves…”

“Yeah but anyone who actually goes into this business thinking they’re gonna get rich is a dumbass,” Jungkook replied promptly, stepping closer as he peered down at you, “And correct me if I’m wrong but- you don’t look like someone with that ideal in mind.”

Rubbing the back of your neck you began to feel your face, that had onced calmed down, begin to flair again as you sighed, looking back towards him as your lips threatened to tilt into an apprehensive frown. He was right, you didn’t want this job because you thought you’d get rich, “...Do you really think I’d be a good stripper?” You wanted the job because for the first time in your life, someone saw sexual worth in you. And it wasn’t just sexual worth, it was worthy enough to put time and effort into, something no one in your life had ever truly done.

You were drawn to him in that aspect, it felt like Jungkook could help cultivate some much needed confidence that you knew you lacked. You were standing in this room because you wanted to see for yourself, if he was actually right. If you could actually be desirable enough, confident enough to become a successful stripper.

“I think you’d be a hell of a stripper.” Jungkook leaned in, his voice quieter, huskier as he answered his eyes burning with fact that you didn’t dare debate. Backing off he stepped back before shrugging, “But that’s if you’re willing to learn. I’m an upfront guy Y/n I’m sure you figured that much out, so I’m gonna be honest with you.” Jungkook sat down in his pulled out chair at his vanity table, legs spread comfortably as he continued, “I’m not gonna go easy on you, I don’t deal with divas, slackers or smart asses. No exceptions. I don’t like my time wasted so if you aren’t in this one hundred percent its not gonna work.”

You nibbled against your lower lip in thought before frowning, you had expected as much. Given all the talk around Jungkook it had to be part of the explanation on why he didn’t do trainee’s, and being a dance major in college had given you surprisingly tough skin when it came to actual work.

It wasn’t that you’d give him any problems in that realm, you had only one hesitation, one you couldn’t sign those papers without being answered, “Why me?” you finally threw up your hands with a huff, looking him directly in the eyes, feeling somewhat fed up for reasons unknown as you repeated, “Why me? Out of all the girls, you and I both know there was plenty more than capable of working with you.”

Jungkook lifted his chin slightly, as if taking your challenge as he stood up again stepping towards you, ultimately making you shrink back slightly at his tall height, licking his plump lips as he curved a brow, “Because I only take who I think have potential to become the best. Anything else isn’t worth my time. Yeah they were good, but they aren’t going to go anywhere Y/n,” he gave a short incredulous laugh, “They aren’t gonna become soloists, or gain Cherry Bomb any profit. They won’t actually make a name for themselves. But you? Sweetheart you have the ability for that and then some,” Jungkook pressed his lips together before concluding, “If you can’t trust yourself, trust me.”

It was quiet for a moment as you both stared at each other. Wordlessly you broke his intense gaze before sighing, you weren’t sure what it was about him. But you wanted to believe him, his eyes were so bright and they burned so deeply almost pleading for you to just take the leap of faith in him, in a stranger and fall into this strange life, “...Okay…”

...

That was how you found yourself sitting on the couch, the contract papers set out on the coffee table and a pen in hand as Jungkook eagerly peered over your shoulder, jumping in anytime you had a question and freely talking and explaining the whole time as you filled it out, “Does everyone start out as a trainee?”

“Yeah pretty much,” Jungkook nodded, leaning back in his seat as he hummed, “Unless they have previous experience in stripping, if that was the case we’d set them up as a filler- the girls who dance between soloist shows. But Cherry Bomb is open to trainee’s so we usually get workers without any background.”

He was, at the very least, extremely informed on how things worked in Cherry Bomb and you couldn’t say you were surprised when he was its main show. But you were still grateful, if Jungkook was going to be mentoring you, you were glad it was him. You both seemed to naturally get along really well outside of all the sexual innuendos he made sure to stick into the conversation.

“Then what’s the difference between a trainee and a filler?” You turned towards him with furrowed confused brows, didn’t everyone dance regardless? Or was that not how that worked?

Jungkook laughed at your expression as he replied, “Well filler’s actually dance. Trainee’s are usually started out with just working on form, choreography, sensuality, and of course the stripping aspect. If you aren’t comfortable in front of your coworkers, your not gonna be comfortable in front of a crowd.”

You had already turned back to the contract, signing down for direct deposit on a weekly check as you hummed to signal you were still listening. Going down to the next line is when you paused, cheeks began to glow as you sighed, facepalming which gained his attention, “What’s up baby?”

“Why is contraceptives on the contract form?” You glowered in embarrassment as you peaked out from your covered face, only to see Jungkook snorting out a laugh as you groaned. Burying yourself back in your hands as he grabbed the paper from the table.

Reading over the line before answering, “Well it’s pretty well known even though prostitution is illegal that doesn’t stop a lot of strip workers from using it as a side hustle. We don’t really want any pregnancies or possibility a lawsuit on our hands if one of the girls got knocked up. You don’t have to be on birth control if it’s for medical purposes, but generally that’s the policy for the girls to just avoid that mess altogether.”

“Oh so you can just knock up whoever you want and get away with it.” You huffed rolling your eyes before snatching the paper back from him, setting it down on the table once more as you gave your signature on taking birth control before writing off further that you were already on it and what you used.

“By definition yeah but I’m pretty sure Sejin would kill us if he found out any of the male strippers got a girl pregnant from the job,” Jungkook leaned back in his seat again as answered, a smirk tugging on his lips as he continued, “My motto: keep it wrapped and you won't get your neck snapped. Cherry Bomb is extremely picky on making sure safe sex is a thing at all times whether it’s between the workers or with clients.”

He started cackling though when you facepalmed, you were really in a strippers dressing room, signing a paper to be mentored under this guy. Hell really must’ve froze over. Flipping over to the next page, “They’re thorough I’ll give them that.” You replied before finishing up the paperwork.

Leaning back in your seat finally as you handed the contract over to Jungkook as you hummed, “When do we start?”

“Tomorrow first thing in the morning,” Jungkook chirped as he stood up, briefly glancing over to make sure you hadn’t left anything out, “Oh give me your phone so I can put my number in, I’ll text you the schedule when I get off work tonight.”

Nodding you unlocked your phone before handing it over to him, watching him furrow his brows slightly as he typed in his phone number, handing it back over to you once he had finished, “Oh shouldn’t I give you mine?” You remembered before asking, it wasn’t that you hated texting first, it just felt a little awkward, or did it?

“Oh your friend already gave me it.” Jungkook replied dismissively as your expression dropped for two reasons, the first being holy shit you hoped Seulgi had got the job and two, she gave him your number? Why didn’t she tell you?

“She did…?” You murmured out with a frown.

Jungkook shrugged before setting your contract down on his vanity, “Well....I mean technically I asked her for it at the audition since you were on the phone, but it was strictly for professional purposes at first.”

“At first.” You qouted, unable to keep that amused smile off your face at his sheepish expression, “What were you gonna do with it if I hadn't said yes to meeting you here?”

It was Jungkook’s turn to smile, cocky and confident as he leaned down slightly while replying, “Well then I would’ve settled on just asking you out, but congrats baby, you get to see me daily now.”

You cocked your head away from him, the pouty glare covering your expression as you felt your face heat up at his words. He really thought he could get into your pants that easily, and he was one hundred percent correct but, boyfriend.

Fuck boyfriend! What were you gonna do with Hanjae? You couldn’t just tell him you accidentally became a stripper, “What’s up baby? Why the stressed look?” Jungkook’s expression had instantly shifted into one of concern as he pushed his hands into the pockets of his sweatpants.

“Well….” You glanced away from him, taking a hesitant step back making him frown, “...I just...don’t know how to break my new job to my boyfriend…”

“Boyfriend?” Jungkook hadn’t meant to let the scoff escape his lips, making you raise your brows with the wrong idea as he asked, “You have a boyfriend?”

“Is that difficult to believe?” You curled away with unappreciative look, you didn’t fare well to people assuming so much about you. No matter how good looking he was, you were admittedly sensitive to judgement, which you supposed went hand in hand with your lack of confidence.

Jungkook's pupils dilated slightly as if realizing his mistake, quickly shaking his head as he gave a slight cough, “No! I’m actually not surprised at all,” You noticed his eyes seemed to dim a little at his own words as he continued, “You just never mentioned a boyfriend before.”

“Well yeah... but this is also the first time I’ve gotten to properly talk to you,” You hummed out, crossing your arms defensively at his words. He was right though, you could’ve cut him off even at the audition, maybe even before that when you first met if you wanted to go the extra mile.

But you hadn’t and admittedly...you didn’t really want to tell him. Guilt gnawed in your stomach at the idea and briefly it made you wonder why you were in a relationship if you couldn’t proudly flaunt it.

There was a quiet tense moment though you were struggling to figure out where the tension was coming from, it wasn’t based sexually. Jungkook cleared his throat as he glanced away from you, expression unreadable before it bounced back to a more familiar one, “Anyways...just tell him you work nightshift at retail, it usually does the trick. Bigger question, why does it matter?”

You almost sputtered a laugh at his question, raising your own brows as you answered, “Why does it matter? He’s my boyfriend, he didn’t even want me going to the audition for Cherry Bomb let alone becoming a stripper here. Of course it matters. What kind of boyfriend wouldn’t mind his girlfriend being a stripper?”

“Well I mean…” Jungkook pressed his lips together as he trailed off, making a point to not continue his sentence at your unappreciative glare.

Would Jungkook not care? Of course he wouldn’t, not when he was also a stripper. That didn’t matter though, Hanjae wasn’t a stripper and he definitely wouldn’t be a fan of you being a stripper, “Like I said, night shift always does the trick.”

“And that actually works?” You curved a brow expectantly as you crossed your arms. Did people actually believe it that easily? It wasn’t like you’d go around telling people where you worked all the time, but it was going to come up in conversation with friends and family...family, oh god. Oh god your family. What were you gonna tell them?

“No...well yes but no. I doubt anyone believes it but nobody is gonna question you about it.” Jungkook shrugged while walking over to his vanity, glancing at the clock on the wall briefly as he grabbed what looked to be a change of clothes, “Trust me baby it’ll be fine- and if your boyfriend really gives you a problem about it, just tell me, I’ll sort it out. Anyway’s I have a few more performances before I head home, you’re gonna stay right?”

You were reeling from so many different changes in his voice, first of all, why would you go to him if your boyfriend gave you a problem? And furthermore that was sending you all kinds of different mixed signals, both from him and yourself.

You didn’t want to ask, and he probably wouldn’t tell, so you decided to just focus on the easiest part of his reply, “So you can dry hump me again?”

Not the best response…

“Oh, like you didn’t enjoy it.” Jungkook’s voice deepened as he stepped closer, a smirk coiled on his lips and his eyes already glazing with lust, “I heard those little needy whimpers babygirl,” you swallowed thickly, feeling your body pang with heat you knew you wouldn’t be able to take care of yourself, “Hope that boyfriend of yours can take care of such a good little girl, I know I would.”

You watched him lick his lips feverishly and you knew all sorts of thoughts were running through his mind. But his words effectively on their own were what made you finally crumble, pressing your hands into your red, flustered face. Unable to even look at him.

Your body was too hot and your mind beginning to become too fuzzy to stay any longer without things getting out of hand, “...I’ll see you tomorrow.”

It was all you could mutter out from underneath your hands as you heard him laugh.

“See you in the morning babygirl.”

----

What kind of establishment made their workers arrive at 7AM when they had just clocked out fewer hours before? Was this secretly some sort of sadistic cult?

Did they enjoy depriving their dancers of sleep? How did Jungkook stay so chipper on such little sleep?

You were groaning with a coffee in hand and dance bag on shoulder as you sluggishly walked up to the familiar doors of Cherry Bomb, it was closed except for all the life of the workers inside. The large crowd of, what you assumed, must’ve been the fillers Jungkook was talking about in the main room.

Plenty sprawled out on the floor while some were up on staging rehearsing.

You had texted Seulgi the night before, asking if she ever got a call. Mainly for your own sake because if you had landed this and she hadn’t...you didn’t even want to think about it, But furthermore there was no telling what hellfire she’d endure if you had to do this alone. Luckily she did in fact get the call, but it made you wonder. Why hadn’t she told you?

You decided to not give it any more thought then a brief wonder, Seulgi on the other hand seemed shocked that you had actually signed the contract.

Biting your lip you sighed, you supposed it was out of character for you to be doing this but...there was something so reassuring about Jungkook, you couldn’t really place why you decided to trust him.

He just seemed so genuine in his desire for you to succeed, it almost made you feel the need to be cautious, nobody was that genuine, right?

You stepped further inside despite the blaring sound from the speakers, a few of the dancers using the vacant poles to grind against.

You had come fifteen minutes early mainly due to the fact that you weren’t sure what protocol was for stripping, there was a saying in the dance industry though, that if you were on time, you were late.

You had always followed that rule, constantly making sure to arrive early to get warmed up. Albeit this wasn’t for dancing, at least not what you were used too.

What did training really mean though? Jungkook had explained briefly the night before but he didn’t dive into it all that much.

“You’re early.” You jumped at the voice that was beginning to become familiar as you snapped around to see Jungkook leaned against the bar counter from the other side, a can of soda in hand.

Who the fuck drank soda this early in the morning? Your stomach was beginning to churn at just the idea of the bubbly, sugar ridden substance in his hand, “Good, take a seat we have a few things to go over before we start.”

Jungkook gestured a hand towards the seat that sat across from where he stood, shrugging you did as told before raising a brow, “Whats up?” he did cover quite a few basics with you the night before, but you supposed just as you were beginning to find out, stripping was a lot more complicated than you anticipated.

“Well lets go over your work schedule first, you aren’t actually going to be put on the stage until this coming Saturday, so we have a whole week until then. There’s two jobs as a stripper, you’re either on stage or you’re working the floor entertaining clients. That’s what you’ll be doing until Saturday. Since you’re a trainee you’ll be accompanying me the first week until you get the hang of it.” Jungkook began to explain, running a hand through his hair as he took another drink from his can.

It felt weird seeing him in such a casual state after last night, the sweatpants he adorned similar but his white shirt was big, fitting more around his shoulders before loosening at his waist, his hair messy like he had just rolled out of bed. In fact. He probably had and you couldn’t blame him.

“What do you mean entertaining? How does that work?” You furrowed your brows in confusion. You supposed it made sense, at least it explained seeing some of the workers out in the crowd sitting with the clients that was. But what purpose did it serve?

Jungkook couldn’t help but give an amused smile at your words, “Talk to them, make conversation, it’s a good way to build a name for yourself in the beginning. If people like you, they’ll come back to see you again. It’s like the connection builder for strippers. If people are bored of what’s on stage we come in, sit down with them and give them something to drool over. Helps crowd control and keeping things alive, not to mention if a soloist is working the floor, lots of people come just in hopes of getting to talk to us. You mentioned you have a hard time with people so you’ll stay with me the first few days when I work the floor, it’ll help keep pressure off of you until you get the hang of it.”

Biting against your lower lip you gave a hum as you leaned down to rest your chin against your hand, how much thought had he put into this in so little time? Regardless you were thankful for it, you weren’t going to lie in saying you wouldn’t be nervous, even working the floor seemed intimidating but at least he’d be with you to give you pointers.

“That being said,” Jungkook paused before glancing out over the main floor before continuing, “You’ll be put more on the floor in the beginning then on stage. Solo shows, all the money and recognition, you don’t get any of that right now so don’t let that pretty little head get ahead of itself okay? You’re what the fillers call…” Jungkook sighed before rolling his eyes, “A bottom feeder. You’re taking scraps at the moment and I’m gonna warn you, everyone is gonna give you shit for it. Right now you have to prove yourself and it’s not gonna be easy. The fillers are going to be especially brutal on you, so just ignore them.”

His words were beginning to stress you out, everyone was going to put you through the grinder just because you were new? You got it in a way, it was like that in the dance world but even then, it wasn’t that harsh.

Why was everyone so cold here? You understood business was business but still, “Hey,” Jungkook gave a hushed coo at your stressed expression, you jolted at the feeling of his warm, larger hand folding into yours to bring you out of your thoughts as he lifted it up, squeezing it gently as he hummed, “Don’t worry about it okay baby? Like I said before, if you work with me you won’t have a problem proving yourself here, just you wait.”

Your lips quivered slightly, threatening to frown as you glanced at him sullen before you let your eyes flickering to your hand, his fingers tangling into yours. The pads of his fingertips and palms were calloused making you wonder, did he dabble in pole dancing too?

Was it from an instrument he played in his off time? His fingers were much longer than yours, and much warmer. But it wasn’t heat, it was like electricity shooting through your skin at every little movement of his fingers against yours. His touch felt so familiar for a stranger it almost made you feel intimidated.

“Okay…” You murmured finally, letting your fingers slip from his as you pulled away, unsure if you were comfortable with such an intimate gesture. But it really wasn’t intimate at all, it was just Jungkook, making it feel that way. What a weird sensation.

“Now that we have that out of the way, there’s one last thing we have to talk about,” Jungkook’s expression hardened a little making you nervous, he looked more serious than before, “I know we just met and it’s asking a lot, but it’s extremely important that you trust me completely, as your mentor It’s my job to make sure you’re prepared to step into the world of stripping, that your safe and comfortable at all times with whatever we’re doing. I get it, this is new, it’s scary, but that’s what I’m here for. If someone bothers you, if a client makes you uncomfortable, if anything happens you need to tell me, okay?”

Now you felt utterly exposed, his gaze so earnest and genuine you wanted to melt into a puddle, but it was also so reassuring, so warm, for a moment it made you remember why you had signed on for this in the first place. Jungkook wouldn’t let anything happen to you.

Nodding you murmured, “Okay.”

Clasping his hands together Jungkook stood up straight as he gave you a confident smile, “Alright now that that’s out of the way, let’s get started. We’ll be working in one of the private rooms us soloists use to work in. You’ll be able to focus properly there and I know all of them personally, they’re nice so don’t worry.” Jungkook had made his way around the bar before gesturing you to follow.

You had followed behind quickly as he began to head down a hallway, you had seen this one before but always assumed it lead to the restroom.

The hallway looked a lot different under standard lighting then it did at night and then it made sense as you asked aloud, “Cherry Bomb offers private shows?”

“Mhm, for anyone who has the money. Sometimes it's just an exclusive client or others it could be a full party. Generally it’s used for someone who wants to see their favorite dancer. If you get lucky Saturday you might score a client.” Jungkook sent a wink your way making you flush in the face as you looked away.

“I severely doubt that happens,” You pinched the bridge of your nose, feeling your nerves rile up at just the idea of dancing for someone privately, “What’s the benefits?”

“Well it’s extra money for one. The more detail the client puts into it the more you make, if they want a specific song, costume, choreography, it racks up in your favor. Private shows are how you’re gonna make most of your money in the beginning so take advantage of it while it lasts.” Jungkook answered, an amused look on his face as your flustered expression, refusing to meet his gaze.

You paused in front of the door though, furrowing your brows in confusion at his words, “What do you mean, while it lasts? Wouldn’t you give lots of private shows?” It only made sense with him being the most popular stripper, right?

Jungkook suddenly ruffled your hair making your squirm, face heating up while you let out a whine making him laugh, “If I wasn’t so expensive sure. Soloist’s get pricey so the average client isn’t gonna be able to afford us, me above all else given my title,”

Opening the door Jungkook placed a delicate hand around you waist guiding you in as he hummed, “It’s worth it when I get a client but that doesn’t happen often so take advantage of it while you’re still cheap, it’s when you get the most clients.”

You nodded despite the nervousness you felt at the idea. It made sense but putting his advice to use was a whole different ball game. You supposed you’d just have to see how the week went before wanting to dive into private dancing so quickly and you assumed Jungkook probably felt the same given your timid demeanor.

“Oh my god she’s so pretty!”

You jumped at the sound of a loud squeal, the girl had practically pounced to view a smile bright enough to light the whole room, her hair long and silky and face sharp and fox like, she was absolutely stunning, “Is this your little muse Gukkie? She’s so pretty no wonder you like her so much!”

Your face was bright red as she gently clasped your cheeks, inspecting your face thoroughly making your face hotter by the second, “Oh she’s so shy! What a cutie.”

You were suddenly tugged away from her grip as Jungkook glared at her unappreciative, a hand tightly gripped against your waist as he huffed, “Yes she’s my trainee, Y/n this is Rosè our main girl.”

You were hyper aware of every touch of Jungkook’s hot skin against your own, your face even worse than before at being so close to him now despite his introduction to the cheeky girl.

She gave a teasing smile to Jungkook as her eyes flickered from the arm he had tightly wrapped around you back to your expression, “Welcome to the team sweetheart! I’m excited to see you dance, Jungkook was practically gushing.”

You gave a nervous smile at her words, had Jungkook really talked you up that much to all of his coworkers? You really hoped he hadn’t, “Oh...well I hope I don’t disappoint you then.” You gave a nervous laugh.

Jungkook sighed exasperatedly, shifting his grip against you as he shot his friend a look, “Didn’t I explicitly tell you to not scare her?”

You had been pressed so close against him you might as well have been in a hug, the faint scent of his cologne was becoming strong and beginning to make your head dizzy.

Was he always this touchy? You weren’t going to last a week if he was going to be up in your business like this constantly.

“She’s not scared Guk! She’s just timid, there’s nothing wrong with that,” Rosè practically cooed out her words gently, a warm smile being sent your way only furthering your sheepishness, “Word of advice, confidence can go a long ways on stage, even if you freeze or mess up the crowd won’t notice.”

You nodded eagerly at her words, the same rule applied for dancing. But you were able to dance confidently any day of the week, it was familiar and you were good at it, you were really good at it. This, you supposed it could be labeled similar but it was still something very new, and very intimidating.

“Well good news,” Jungkook had already begun to pull you away from Rosè much to her amusement as she began laughing, “I’m not just gonna throw you on stage Saturday and expect you to be amazing, we have a few starting points we need to work on.”

Pulling you away from the small group of people and off to the side of the room Jungkook had finally released your arm.

Giving a sigh of relief as you breathed in a large amount of air that wasn’t intoxicated by his scent as he continued, not even noticing, or maybe just already getting use to your constant flustered state, “Alright babygirl let’s get to work.”

He took a few steps and that’s when you noticed the switch in his demeanor, right now he was in mentor mode. At least he’d leave you alone to brood, on the bright side.

----

The entire morning was spent doing the most outlandish things you had never even took into account for stripping. Everything from how you should look expression wise, where you placed your hands, hell even the way you walked was apparently ‘too sharp’.

But this? You knew it was going to be addressed eventually, but for him to jump you so soon? It was appalling to your shy nature.

“Y/n…”

“No.”

“Yes.”

“No!” You cried out, squirming from underneath him your hands plastered against your face, cheeks undeniably red and to be fair- he hadn’t even done anything.

This wasn’t any sort of lap dance exercise, Jungkook had mainly got on top of you, to try and work on eye contact. Something you just couldn’t do.

There was something about it that just so intimidating and you felt so exposed and vulnerable from it.

“Y/n don’t be a brat.” Jungkook growled out in frustration, pressing his weight further on top of you and there was a note in his voice hard to argue with.

Every sense in your body wanting to obey his every command but it went against your nature, making you too shy to want and do so, “If you can’t look me in the eyes what makes you think you’ll be able to for a client? Now don’t make me say it again; eyes.”

You let out a whine at his words, forcing your hands away from your face as you set them down, your chin was jutted to the side to try and stay away from his intense gaze but he wasn’t having it.

Clasping your chin between his fingers Jungkook forced your eyes to meet his, “I-I’m not a dominant person Jungkook I..I can’t just- wait no, no, no that- that came out wrong...!” You hands practically flew up to your face again as you let out another embarrassed whine, why did you have to be like this? Seriously? Who says they aren’t dominant in open conversation?

Jungkook wasn’t lying when he said he wasn’t going to go easy on you, and this wasn’t an exception as he refused to let you wallow in misery while everyone who was laid out in the group of soloists were all laughing at the train wreck, which was you.

Jungkook had suddenly grabbed both of your wrists in his hand, forcing them above your head as his jaw clenched in irritation, his other hand coiling under your chin to force you to look at him as he leaned in, “You think I’m not aware of that babygirl? This isn’t about dominance or submission, you aren’t going to be jumping in a clients beds anytime soon. This is about confidence in eye contact, this extends both on and off the stage.”

You sported the worlds biggest pout as he explained the purpose but you already understood why he was doing it, you just naturally weren’t inclined to follow. Jungkook was initially right, you both worked well together in just about every other aspect, but as of now he was on top of you, radiating a strong, commanding presence and with your mind spiralling into the gutter, your first reaction...was to submit.

Maybe that was a toss up to put the blame on him for your obstinance but that was how you felt.

After one more second of being devoured alive by his dark burning gaze he finally let go off you while sighing, his dominant aura wearing off as sat down across from your laid out figure, “It’s a start.”

You groaned at his words before rolling onto your side, curling into yourself wanting nothing more than the sweet embrace of death, your cheeks still glowing red and your body too hot to be acceptable at the moment.

“You’re being too hard on her Jungkook, it’s her first day.” Rosè pouted her pretty plump lips with a frown, curving a brow despite the amused glint in her eyes and embarrassingly all it took was a single pat on the ground for you crawl your way over to sit by her.

“She obviously isn’t use to anything as intimate as lapdancing- you aren’t a virgin are you?” It looked as if the question just occurred to her making you flush in the face.

Facepalming you murmured a soft, “No…” you probably looked like one though at this point.

Wrapping a comforting arm around you Rosè gave it a soothing squeeze, a calming aura about her you couldn’t quite place, “That’s good! Being well versed in sex isn’t neccasary but it’s going to help you become a lot more comfortable a lot quicker in stripping.”

Jungkook had made his way over on the other side of the broken circle, sitting down with his hands supporting him from behind, looking between you and Rosè both before his eyes landed on her arm wrapped around you, “You sure you don’t just want to sleep with her?”

“Maybe I do, maybe I don’t,” Rosè shot back much to your mortification, face brightening as you sighed, pressing your hands back against your face, all of these attractive people were going to be the death of you, “Not like you’re one to talk Jungkook you’ve been all over her all morning long.”

“She’s my trainee.” Jungkook defended as his eyes squinted, not enjoying so much teasing all at once.

Rosè clacked her tongue as her eyebrows shot up, but it wasn’t her who spoke next. It was the predatory blonde- Jimin, if you remembered correctly who sat a little ways from you both, “You don’t see any of us grinding on our trainee’s, so what’s the difference Guk, hm?”

Your lips parted at his words slightly, was he insinuating this wasn’t normal?

If it wasn’t normal what kind of training was Seulgi receiving at the moment and how could you get in on it? Jungkook’s brows furrowed and it looked like everyone was trying to not burst out laughing at his souriness, “Teaching style asshat,” his eyes shot over to Rosè before continuing, “And whether I want to sleep with her or not isn’t getting in the way of our training.”

“I’ll give you that,” Rose gave a nod before humming, “But you can’t deny she’d be the sweetest little sub-”

“What the fuck?” You almost cried out pulling out of her grip as you let out a whine while covering your ears, but your objection didn’t stop her.

“Could you imagine eating her out? I bet she’d be loud-” Rose paused her wild imagination before suddenly snorting a laugh in your direction, “Look at her! God she’s so adorable!”

You might as well have been curled into yourself, your knee’s hugging against your chest as you glanced up in towards Jungkook for help, but what you found instead was his feverish gaze while licking his lips as if imagining that exact scenario in his head.

“Don’t look at me like that!” You cried out in embarrassment covering your head over your arms as you hugged further against your knees making everyone laugh. You were about to chastise him further but hearing the familiar sound of your phone go off made your attention drawn to it.

“I can’t help it babygirl, you look- what’s wrong?” Whatever Jungkook was going to say had dropped altogether when he noticed your tense, annoyed expression. But it was aimed at your phone with a tight knuckled grip.

“Nothing....” You snapped your eyes shut as you forced a breath out while curving a brow.

‘Hey angel, you free right now? Could really use your help 😏🍆👅’

That seemed to gain everyone's attention as you closed your phone, sighing as you ran a hand through your hair muttering more to yourself then to them, “Nothing, it’s just my boyfriend.”

You didn’t want to be like this, but you knew what was going to happen. You knew you wouldn’t be rewarded or pleasured yourself.

And after working all morning long all you wanted was a pile of pancakes to swallow, not a dick.

“Oooh boyfriend? What’s he saying?” Rosè peered over to you closely, a teasing smile on her face despite your frown.

You awkwardly glanced between her and your phone, feeling your cheeks glow again at the idea of spilling your sex life to them, but they seemed extremely close.

Closer then you had ever been with anyone, usually your sex life was on lockdown when it came to discussion, “Well...uh- I don’t know,” You muttered flusteredly, “Asking for a blowjob, I guess.” Your hands met with your warm cheeks as you sighed.

Jimin let out a whistle as he leaned back on his hands, “I’ve never seen a girl so unaroused in my life, is he that bad?”

You must’ve not gave a strong case otherwise for him to already be giving the correct guess.

But you didn’t just want to throw Hanjae under the bus, even if he wasn’t great in bed he was still your boyfriend and you still wanted to serve him, you just wished he’d be a little more flexible when it came to your needs.

You could only force an awkward smile, not wanting to lie or gas your partner up when you knew very well what the truth was.

Ultimately you gave your phone one last look before sighing, standing up as you hummed, “Well, It’s not gonna suck itself, I guess I’ll see you guys tomorrow.” You had grabbed your bag from the floor before making your way towards the door, it was already ten and practice was pretty much over.

While you wanted to go get something to eat you knew if you ignored him you’d never hear the end of it later. Maybe you’d be able to convince Hanjae to take you out afterwards. If you couldn’t be rewarded in orgasm, food was the next best thing, right?

Just as you reached for the door you were pulled back by a sudden grip on your forearm, not strained but firm enough to keep you in place as you turned around.

Confused at the sight of Jungkook’s tense expression, ‘You don’t look like you really want to go.”

Your eyes flickered towards his grip on your arm before meeting his eyes again, keeping your expression neutral before letting an awkward smile pull on your lips, “I don’t...but what kind of girlfriend would I be if I didn’t?

His gaze glossed over you before scoffing, letting go off your arm as he turned back to walk towards the other soloists, “You shouldn’t feel obligated to give him a pity blowjob, y’know if he was any good you’d want too.”

Your expression dropped with parted lips as your tongue tucked into your cheek, trying to keep yourself from smiling at the audacity of this guy, what was his goal in saying that? Your sex life wasn’t any of his business.

“Are you suggesting you’d be better…?” You knew out of everything that was the biggest thing you shouldn’t have said, but your morbid curiosity was eating away inside you.

But Jungkook had paused before turning over his shoulder, a confident smirk coiling on his lips as if he had been hoping you’d say that, “Oh I am better babygirl there’s no debate there. If you want someone who can really take care of you,” Jungkook licked his lips, that cocky expression not faltering once on his face, “You know exactly where to find me.”

Your face was hot red at his words as you watched him turn back around strolling towards the others as you swallowed thickly. Was it bad that deep down, you were actually going to keep his words in mind?

——

Note: and i oop- lowkey fucked up the tags and made the whole thing delete itself? so sorry for the lmao taglist will be smaller because some have already read and i wont wanna double ping, if u still got double pinged i am sorry :( carry on with the kook thirst tho! ~

Taglist: @loveherpersona @pearlneedstosleep @sincerelyjeohn @jungkookies-golden-noona @epiphany-playingwithfire @maboiisuga @kookphoria91 @taehyungiev13 @134340ismybitch @lurkerarmy

[a-warm-whisper]

I've been researching PPD because of my mom and im finding it so hard to do the things they are telling me. Don't fight them, accept their feelings, don't tell them they're wrong, listen to why they are upset. Im trying, im trying, im trying. A lot of the info says there is not much you can do until they seek help, but she has always refused. Lately she has been saying "well im better now" and its actually getting so much worse! She blames the last time she had an episode on her going through menopause but I don't think that was purely the case. Her last episode lasted years and this time is almost worse.

The last time she thought that my dad (who she has been divorced from since I was 5) was watching her and listening to her all the time. She used to cover the tvs in sheets so they couldn't record her, thought there was a listening device in the car so we could never talk about anything remotely serious without her "shhhhhushing" me, unless we were outside then we could whisper. She would tell me my friends weren't actually friends, our family didn't care about us, and EVERYONE we ran into she would think somehow knew my dad and was relaying information back to him somehow. She'd get FURIOUS, SCREAM AND THREATEN ME if I accidently let something slip to a random stranger that she didnt want my dad finding out. It got so bad she started shopping two towns over so no one would know her and that worked for a while until she started thinking that even those people knew my dad. She couldn't keep any friends because eventually they would either think she's nuts or she would misinterpret something they said into something awful and explode on the person about it eventually causing them to never want to talk to her again. And she'd never apologize even after I could convince her she had been wrong. She REFUSES to ever admit she's wrong with anything, not just related to her theories. I remember how she would wake me up in the middle of the night threatening to take me to jail or a boarding school if she found out i was telling my dad bad things about her. She tried so hard to convince me that my dad was some horrible creature that tormented her practically to death and it made me feel weird. I never believed her. Eventuslly she stopped saying anything about it and it seemed like she got better, but I wonder if she possibly still thinks he is out to destroy her?

This time is a little different. A little more controlled but its getting worse and worse. Now she is in love with the man on the radio....this one guy, who does the town news and talk show every morning except Sunday. Shes never fucking met him. Never once. Not even out and about (its a very small town i live in) and yet, she's MADLY in love with this man, who she knows nothing about. She thinks he knows who she is though. She did talk to him once on the phone. She called the station and asked him something about gardening to which he told her the answer and that was that, but now she thinks they have some secret thing going and that she loves him. But she also hates everyone else at the radio station because she believes they don't like her and believe she is somehow "using him" for money. So EVERY SINGLE SONG OR COMMENT OR WORD OF THE DAY OR ANYTHING SAID is directed at her. She is constantly telling me "oh Mike played this one song for me, he keeps playing songs about lost love" or if someone else plays a song that is about sadness or something its directed at her. Its hard to explain so here are some texts:

"You are probably asleep but I can't sleep because of the learn a word that Mike had this morning. It was reputation. Then Helen song was Man Eater. I am not a man eater all my husbands married me for MY money!!!! 2 husbands hit or strangled me or both! I kept the houses spotless. Did their laundry etc and now I have a REPUTATION!!!!!!!! I didn't have the men I dated but because I wouldn't & told them NO they spread awful stuff about me! Never done drugs do to my profession. My nursing came first always!!! Was always a hard worker. Some nights I never sat down! BUT I HAVE THE BAD REPUTATION!!!!!!! The thing these people have not even met me. Until you know someone you should not judge them!!!!!!! Haven't dated for 22 years because I was waiting on someone that was decent I had a lot in common with & was respected. Oh well I guess there just aren't any like that anymore!!!!!!

Yes I went thru a bad spell but that was because I was going thru the change of life thing. Which I hope yours goes more smoothly than mine did! Now there is medicine for what I went thru. This is how I feel If they treat me nice I treat them nice.

My own relatives will not even talk to me because Jody & Bill have said awful stuff about me! If they were in TBE same situation( no car) I would tell them to go ahead & cut down some trees and get a vehicle but they thing I'm a user. When Bill was without a job he borrowed thousands of dollars from his mom. Things are just not true what people are saying about me!!!!!!!"

These are from last night, she sends me things like this a couple times a week now. And she deletes them immediately after sending them because she doesn't understand that the whole world can't read our texts. I have no idea how to handle it. Everything she thinks is wrong. So wrong and I can't force her to see the truth.

I'm lost. And it just gets worse and she puts it all on me and expects me to figure everything out for her. She keeps asking me questions of what I really think, so I tell her what I think and she gets upset, screams and cries about how horrible I am for not believing her and then thats that. Im so lost. Its too much and I have no idea how to handle it. I wish I could ask a doctor how to help her more but I don't know how to do that. Im just tired tired tired. She keeps draining me.

Now she has had to go to the doctor a lot recently too because they found cancer in her stool sample and she isnhaving a hard time with this and I feel bad for her I truly do but I also don't know how to help her because she keeps not believing the doctors are telling her the truth. She keeps misinterpreting the nurses body language and thinks they are out to actually kill her EVEN THO THEY DONT KNOW HER. and I have to say, if I was a nurse I'd hate my mom too. She used to be a nurse, when I was young that was her job, but she quit after thinking people were trying to get her fired and she never worked as one again. BUT NOW, when she does go to the doctor she just HAS to make sure that EVERYONE KNOWS that she used to be a nurse so don't try to pull one over on her. She probably passes them off so badly because she walks in the place with an attitude because she thinks she was the best nurse ever to exist ever. So she has to tell everyone "did you know im a nurse, just retired" (which is a lie) and then when they don't acknowledge her she gets furious and thinks they are out to get her. She doesn't believe the things they say are wrong or not wrong with her, because she knows better.

I'm just, exhausted. And my boyfriend doesn't understand the depth of the situation. He just thinks I should stop talking to her but SHES ALL ALONE. she has no friends, no family, just me. She's ran everyone else away. She doesn't even have her own vehicle right now so I'm her only source to the outside world. How would she even get groceries if I didn't talk to her? But she is so demanding and draining and utterly depresses me to no end.

I don't know what to do anymore. I just needed to dump all this somewhere.

[morphituu]

Milagro

Chapter 19: Leonardo Makar Jakoby

Ch: 1 - 2 - 3 - 4 - 5 - 6 - 7 - 8 - 9 - 10 - 11 - 12 - 13 - 14 - 15 - 16 - 17 - 18

Note:  before you read this chapter, i'd like to share with you the song that helped shape and bring this piece of writing together, and if you have the patience i hope you'll take a listen and further understand the emotions i intended with this 💛

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The front door swung open faster than she intended, but Callie couldn’t stand to be under the glaring sun and heavy humidity a moment longer. Her locks were frizzed and sticking to her neck and shoulders, and sweat was lining her honey skin in droplets when she stepped into the cool house.

“Oh god, close the blinds,” she lamented, waddling through the kitchen to stick her flushed face in front of the freezer. “Next time I’ll just do laps around the house,”

“Yeah I can get on board with that,” Nick called from under the vent in the living room, his shirt left hanging on the back of the couch.

Her forehead bounced against her arm rested on the fridge, staring down at her stomach. “Please come out,” she groaned. “I can’t get any bigger,”

“We could try sex again,” Nick simpered, leering over his shoulder.

“I’m sweating,”

“We’re sweating,” Nick snorted.

When she at last stepped from the fridge, she brought with her a bowl of homemade deep red salsa that had sat long enough for the shimmering oil to be seen pooling at the top. She hastily and with little care unwound the nearly empty bag of tortilla chips on the counter, plunging a chip into the dip.  

“That’s gonna make you sweat more,” he bravely commented, joining her across the bar and dipping his own chip that piled pitifully compared to her towering bites.

She swayed and pulled air in harshly between her teeth as she chewed, an eye pinched shut and hands flailing.

“You’re gonna give yourself lethal heartburn,”

“If it gets him out I’ll deal with it,” she coughed, going in for another bite.

“You still have three days baby,” Nick reminded, wincing at his own bite of the searing salsa.

“I’m not taking any chances. I can do this,” she too reminded, her gaze harder than her words.

“No one is doubting that,”

“But everyone is expecting otherwise,” she murmured, snapping the lid back onto the jalapeño tupperware. She wouldn’t look up again, but he didn’t need to see her face to recognize the discouragement drooping her shoulders.

Nick chewed his last chip and dusted his hands of any crumbs before jogging around the wall and into the kitchen, immediately holding wrapping her in a tight embrace from behind. “I know you can do it,”

“I know you know,” she sighed, finally leaning back into his chest with her head on his shoulder.

He listened to her chew on the crunchy jalapeños and chips, his lips against her shoulder and rocking side to side. “He’s really going today,”

“Since this morning,” she added, moaning when he dragged his hands across her stomach, alleviating the insane itching that plagued her night and day. Her frame melted in his arms, tossing aside the last bite she couldn’t bare one more of with her mouth already feeling like fire.

When her fingers laced behind his neck, a low growl vibrated through his chest, his caresses wandering higher.

“I have time before I go in,” he groused.

“That walk wiped me out,” she sighed, curling her spine ever so slightly despite being ready for a nap. The implication alone got her blood boiling in a way she didn’t mind despite her wiser half protesting at anymore physical exertion.

“I’ll do the work,” he rumbled, angling her jaw to stop her low whine. “You just worry about enjoying it,”

“It’s gonna be work, you gotta help me get him out,” she murmured in defeat, her breath catching when he massaged a tender breast through the dress.

He chuckled into her hair, a burly arm supporting her up when two thick fingers slipped under her dress and panties. “I know what I’m doing.”

It was too good.

The haze she floated in, the fan blowing across her naked, spent body, the cold sheets she was lost in; the kisses she opened her eyes too when she felt Nick’s impression on the bed beside her.

It was all too good.

 “Time to go already?” she asked softly, her hands feeling his unbuttoned uniform shirt before her heavy eyes opened.

“Mhm,” he toned into the top of her breast. “It’s a half shift today,”

“You’ll be home for dinner?”

He nodded, exclaiming sorely once standing.

“Frijoladas?” she asked, rolling on her side with a pillow ready to stuff under her stomach.

“Oo, hell yeah,” he grinned, stepping into his slides. “You stay pregnant until I’m home,” he pointed, his tone grave.

“I think he’s too comfortable in there,”

“Good. Keep him in there until tomorrow,”

“Tomorrow?” her brows furrowed.

“It’s my day off,” he grinned cheekily.

“Don’t get shot,” she said into the pillow she embraced, breathing in Nick’s cologne.

“I’m too quick.” He teased, bouncing around a couple times to rile some giggles. With a final kiss shot her way, Nick was shuffling down the hall towards the door and grabbing his bag, then keys, and groaning against the assaulting summer heat once outside. It only made him want to slink back into the dark, cool room with Callie, but regardless of whether there was a c-section in three days or she managed to get Leo out beforehand, he had five days worth of time to spend with the two whenever he decided to make his debut.

Just the thought had Nick shaking his hands loose of the tremble they’d steadily maintained.

Everything was set and ready for his arrival, but counting down the minutes made the wait excruciating, and if Nick was being honest, he wanted him out weeks ago. The daily barrage of texts from friends and family asking is he here yet!? were not so much a pain, but hourly reminders that he had no control over his sons awaited birth, and that another day had gone by without him in his arms.

 Even if I’ve been fucking her three times a day, he thought bitterly.

He’d been promised from all directions that sex would do the trick, but all either had gained from it was funny walking and a sore dick, not to mention the few times where neither had actually came and they’d just flopped over one another in annoyance.

He pulled onto the road, the chilled air blasting across his face and chest that was already accumulating sweat.

Maybe he should bring home chili’s to eat with the dinner.

 Seeing as that's our last hope.

In the afternoon blaze that looked over LA, people were irritable and hollering at one another in traffic. Many drivers didn’t have the luxury of working AC in their old beaten cars, and sitting under the sun flared tempers of all races, especially humans and Orcs. He even found himself spitting harsh choices of words at particularly dumb drivers that only further congested on-ramps, and by the time he made it to the station, he could barely muster patient responses when the baratement of where’s the baby? came.

 Do you think I’d be here!? He wanted to shout, but he still needed a job to come back to.

“Still!?” Sergey asked in honest shock, feeling Nick’s exhaustion bone deep when he shook his head slowly. “You know I’ve heard-”

“Whatever you’ve heard we’ve already tried,” he groaned, the pair making their way to the lockers.

“Even-”

“Don’t say spicy foods,” Nick snapped.

Sergey’s nose scrunched. “For someone who’s expecting the miracle of life you’re awfully cranky,”

“I’m not cranky,” Nick shoved his partner into an empty locker, his shoulder making loud contact with the metal door, but he laughed it off. “I’m impatient,”

“Why not just take off the extra days before it happens?” Sergey intoned.

“Over-time pay, that’s why.” Nick smirked, pulling his lock off the locker door.

↠

She flung out another onesie so the feet popped out, holding it up to decide whether this one was to hang or fold, and decided it would be stuffed into his already packed dresser.

For weeks now Leo’s closet had been bursting at the bolts with clothes and blankets and everything else that came with a baby; so much that Callie wouldn’t actually need to buy any clothes until he was at least one, but that didn’t stop her, or Nick from plucking cute sets from racks and all the assortments of socks possible, not to mention beanies.

She traced the pads of her fingers along the baby blue designs lining a hooded onesie, grinning to herself.

Nick had picked this one, going on about how easily his little melon would get cold.

Callie placed it in the pile to be hung up, and if need be, she’d take a few out to make sure it found its place amongst the others. Her brows furrowed the longer she stared, starting to question if it should tag along in the hospital bag. The rooms did get awfully chilly.

“I’ll come back to you,” she decided quietly, leaning down to grab the next article of Leo’s clothing from the basket between her feet.

Though her eyes remained trained on the TV muttering lowly in the living room, she’d completely retreated back into her thoughts when that first cramp of the day hit, but when it continued long enough for her to really evaluate its depth, she realized this one was… different.

The Braxton Hicks that had tormented her for months were sharp, often radiating down into her pelvis like minor shots of electricity. They’d subside quickly before the next one came, but this cramp was intimidating. It wrapped around her entire stomach, stretching to her lower back, and this first one wasn’t even painful. It was low, and lasting, as if giving a stern warning about what was to come, but wouldn’t pain come with something like this?

She exhaled slowly when it finally ended at thirty-six seconds, ames still outstretched and holding a little sweater while deciding upon her next move.

Callie looked down slowly as if she expected something to lunge up at her from below, but all was the same.

Leo swirled a few times, but he’d been calm since the previous day, even when Nick cooed lovingly to him to purposely evoke some kicks and shoves.

She glanced at her phone, noting the time.

“Alright then,” she cleared her throat, flinging the sweater out flat before piling it on the tabletop. She still glanced around while continuing to fold and sort, listening and waiting for something else to come, but it wasn’t until about twenty minutes later that she felt it again, and this time she had enough sense to press a hand to her belly and actually feel the contract-

 No, she shook her head, continuing on with her laundry through this one. It was uncomfortable, but manageable, and definitely not that , she decided. It just didn’t start like that… did it?

When this one ended at twenty-two seconds, she scoffed.

“Almost had me there,” she mumbled, carefully piling the clothing on the table surface.

The third one was… annoying. It almost made her grip the table in support, but she bullied the discomfort aside and told it to fuck off. It radiated deep from within her gut like a period cramp, which didn’t help convince herself it wasn’t what she thought.

When the fourth one came, her attention to the ‘cramps’ had increased, and with her palms pressing into the tops of her knees, she straightened her back and ground her teeth, but sitting through them only generated more intensity.

But by the time the fifth one came, her leg was bouncing high and though she tried, she couldn’t help but cringe. The severity had grown more than she could’ve expected so rapidly, but forcing herself to move through them kept her from panicking. Folding laundry was the last thing she wanted to be doing now, but she also knew if she’d simply sat there with her undivided attention on this, she’d call Nick and likely take a ride to the hospital for false labor.

So she leaned back in her chair after throwing a pair of little pants back into the basket, holding her wrist against her forehead as she waited for this one to stop. Her skin was warming up, her heart hammering between her ribs.

Tightening her thighs only brought more misery when she tried to cross her ankles, and her palms fell over her eyes when it finally subsided. Callie exhaled hard, pushing her loose hair back and the basket away with her foot. No way she could concentrate on that. Her head lolled to the side when looking at her phone, debating heatedly within herself to call Nick. Her fingers tapped against the back of her hand atop her head as she stared at it, reaching after a few moments to swipe the screen up.

“No!” she snapped, tossing the phone down. “This isn’t it,”

Callie rose then, straining and following her stomach into standing before waddling to the kitchen. Her actions were unprecise when reaching into the fridge for a water, cranking the cap off angrily. She drank it purposefully, as if giving her body water would mean she was right and this was just a weird form of dehydration, or something.

“Mhm, mhm,” she went on as she gulped, a hand on her hip and rocking side to side.

But here came another one.

“Chinga su madre-” she sputtered, slapping the bottle down on the counter and bending forward. “Oh fuck me,” she forced out, leaning onto her knees as she continued to rock side to side through the harsh tightening. With every one that passed, the vigor that matched a charlie horses rapid incapacitation grew, and it brought back vivid recollections of the time she laid withering away in Nick’s arms as the onslaught of premature labor defeated her.

“No,” she straightened, exclaiming when her body gave her back a bigger no. Bowed over and down against her knees she went, puffing out a few quick breaths before slowly rising this time.

Her steps were cautious, one hand on her stomach while the other traced counter tops or walls, hovering to the back of a chair so she could gather the clothes that needed to be put away. By the time she made it to Leo’s room with arms full of fragrant, clean outfits, it had died down, but now came the soreness after them. Each step was coupled with sharp stabs that landed at her lower stomach and groin, bringing forth hard breaths from between her teeth.

She pushed the door open with her elbow, padding carefully across the plastic laid out over the carpet in preparation to paint the room, but now she feared it was too late for last minute projects such as this.

The clothes to be hung were draped over the crib until after she finished stuffing the folded clothes into the drawers, shoving aside the abundance of socks to make room for even more while counting her breaths, in through the nose, out through the mouth.

“Get in there!” she whined lowly, shoving the drawer closed so she could move on.

Her urgency to finish wasn’t farfetched; just as she’d reached for the last of the outfits to hang, she instead found herself leaning against the crib, her forehead landing on her forearm and doubt melting away under the fervor of this one.

Deep breaths did nothing, nor did squatting which had been sworn up and down on that it worked, but only resulted in her stuck down there, hanging onto the bars of the crib and mashing her teeth together through the physical torment that stifled her breaths. The duration didn’t even matter anymore, because these were far from normal Braxton Hicks.

Callie laughed to herself as the contraction died down enough to pull herself back up, her grip remaining steadfast on the crib until she knew she could walk without swaying. Her eyes cut down to her stomach, her bottom lip starting to tremble.

“I told your dad I’d wait until tomorrow,” she breathed, her voice breaking.

All week she’d done all she could to start this, to meet her son and at last hold him, but now she was alone in his room and terror was her only companion. How did she end up questioning her own capability when she’d done nothing but tell everyone how able and ready she was for this? How did doubt always find its way in?

 I need Nick. She needed her rock.

It was time to finally, finally meet their son, no matter how prepared she thought she was or how terribly she shook now as the realization that nothing could truly prepare her for this cast over her like a shadow.

Callie nodded, her eyes sliding shut and taking a slow breath in, then letting it out even slower. “Okay,” she exhaled, stepping warily from the crib and reaching for the dresser beside the door.

Her hand landed on the door frame the moment she felt it run down her leg.

“Oh my god,” she exclaimed when the warm fluid kept coming, pooling in the plastic around her bare feet. It’s sickly sweet odor was unpleasant, as was the shocking amount. Her hand shook when touching between her thighs, observing the shimmering liquid on her fingertips.

“Oh-” she gasped, laughing again. “Okay, okay,” Callie inhaled, sights set on the table in the dining room when she took another step.

But the world pulled out from under her, and the back of her head cracking against the floor was heard before everything was felt. The shock to her spine, the next contraction, her skull starting pound so loudly she could see it. Her hands lifted weakly, but they completely missed, folding heavy against the carpet beside her head.

But the contraction… it was so dull now as her world started to close, and her bent knees slid out in her own puddle of amniotic fluid she was stretched in.

“Ni…” she breathed weakly. Her arms were unable to lift again, the throbbing in her skull too mighty to fight.

A hard roll of shivers shot up his spine, shimmying his shoulders and shaking his head.

“Is the AC too strong?” Sergey asked, reaching to turn the dial.

“Nah, I just got a shiver,” Nick mumbled, rolling his shoulders again. He’d knocked loose that one, but what was this agitation that wouldn’t lift? It had come to a simmer in his belly, leaving him restless and uncomfortable no matter how he shifted in the seat.

He glanced around, jumping between passing faces and buildings, even scenting the air inside the car inconspicuously to see if some threatening scent had wafted in through the vents, but nothing explained the discomfort he felt.

It was irritating and only sank farther into his gut, heavy like stones.

“Ugh,” he groaned, moving around again.

“Tummy troubles?” Sergey played, hiding his smirk.

“Shut up,” Nick laughed off, but his grin vanished upon pulling out his phone. His thumbs flew over the screen, shooting a quick message to Callie.

 Gotta cover all your bases.

Consciousness came back to her like a kick to the jaw.

It rang behind her eyes, thundering against her temples. The sweat that had broken out across her body mimicked that of a fever dream, but her thoughts were crystal clear as she came back. The weight of her limbs was substantial, barely mustering the energy to hold her pounding head and bend her knees-

The shout that cracked in her throat was stifled late, far into the fast moving contraction gripping her frame, leaving her gasping and curling onto her side.

 That’s right, she was in labor. Active labor.

Callie pushed her upper half up, her hand sliding in the amniotic fluid pooled beneath her. She was rigid in pain, a shaking breath just moments away from becoming a shout. There was no counting, no more rocking side to side through it. There was only the suffocating wrath wrapping around her midsection like a suffocating corset, curling her neck back as she bared her teeth to the ceiling in agony.

At last it started to ebb away, leaving her spent and heaving into her palm before smoothing back her sweaty hair.

She wanted to lay back down, even being soaked in sweat and fluids with a throbbing skull. A migraine would be an easier foe to fight; at least then she wouldn’t be so dizzy she couldn’t even stand to keep her eyes open. But she couldn’t fall back into the quiet darkness. She had to bear the static in her vision and the hot tears that sprung before them.

This couldn’t end here.

“Go get your phone,” she gnarled, looking up at the door frame.

Her limbs shook something awful after finally pulling herself onto her feet, the amniotic fluid continuing to trickle down her inner thighs. Every step was a gamble, but with wet handprints left on the walls and a small trail behind her in the carpet, she made it to the table by the time another contraction was coming.

Her hands slid harshly across the table surface, knocking over clothes and mail, but her frantic searching didn’t yield her phone amongst the clutter.

“No no no-” she cried, gasping when it again constricted her midsection like an angry fist. She landed in the chair, her head flinging over the backrest and bawling into her hands as it’s fury kicked back into high gear.

The seconds felt slower than before as they ticked by endlessly, her legs kicking helplessly until she curled forward and crawled onto her knees and elbows that burned against the carpet.

 Breathe in- out, breathe- breathe in-

 It was impossible. Anything was. The only thing she wanted was to scream, but the floor smothered those. Loud grunts ripped from her throat, the dress clinging to her body like a wet sheet. Trying to form words in hopes she could calm herself down was futile when she couldn’t make it through a full breath without shouting, and as long as she was stuck there on the floor, she couldn’t find her phone.

It surely hadn’t even been a full minute since the last time he checked his phone, but he still looked again anyways, chuffing when there was no response from Callie.

Nick shifted to lean on his other foot, arms crossed and back burning under the glaring sun while stood in full uniform at the center of a lawn listening with only half his concentration to Sergey as he took the reins on this call. It was probably best that way too. If Nick had to deal with this stout man screaming about his lawn, he’d likely shove him into one of the many trash cans lining his yard.

So instead he cracked his neck, trying to ignore the sweat collecting across his scalp and gave in to checking his phone once again, but still, nothing.

Nick exhaled with another adjustment of the kevlar vest, hoping to alleviate the tightening of his chest.

Making it back to the table to again look for her phone hadn’t only been difficult, but a test of her willpower to remain standing when the contractions kept coming and strengthening enough to at first keep her on the floor for some time. She’d long since pushed her soaked panties down her legs, but was fearful if she reached down, she’d be faced with the top of Leo’s head and still no way to call for help. The thought of wobbling her way out of the house was quickly tossed; all their neighbors were busy singles or couples that were rarely home, and she sure as hell couldn’t just walk outside and scream.

So now she was upright again, even going as far as to unfold some of the clothing that it maybe could’ve been hiding between, but her thorough search did not produce the phone.

A few times she could’ve sworn she’d heard it vibrate somewhere, and when it went unfound she started to question her sanity. She did just crack her head against the floor and still struggled to keep her eyes open; it could be right under her nose and just couldn’t see it.

Callie’s hand flew over her eyes when she felt the fresh burning of tears, a weak sob building in the back of her throat. Between contractions she’d try to remind herself to relax, not to overexert herself more than she was already doing, but once the pain was no longer occupying every fiber of attention, she was left with this crippling fear.

Leo’s perfectly planned birth had suddenly been yanked out from under her in a matter of seconds, and now she was here, stranded and alone in the middle of her own labor that was completely out of her control. All the terrible outcomes she’d been warned of were suddenly so plausible; she could be losing another baby right now and she just didn’t know it yet.

Was labor supposed to hurt like this? It was so close to what it had felt like the first time during Tikka’s battle- so was she dying? Was Leo!?

There was no one to ask as she sobbed, leaned against the table with weak knees and wailing into bunched up laundry as another contraction fired up.

They were starting to last longer, which gave them more power without even really intensifying. Every one dragged on for eternity; it terrified her thinking of this going on for hours when she’d look to the clock above the bar and face that it’d only been a mere hour since first coming to.

Would Leo even have that much time?  

She steadied herself against the edge of the table, pulling her messy wet hair from her neck and face to fashion into a neater bun.

I’ve had many patients who’ve tried delivering vaginally and the baby’s become stuck in the pelvis because of their size.

Her stomach that had decreased in size since her water broke had been still; Leo had been quiet through all of this, not even a small foot to jab into her ribs like he normally did when she moved around too much, and she knew why. He was slowly moving down with every tight squeeze, coming closer to the end of his journey, but Callie didn’t know how she could ensure that being here.

She looked up, scanning the living and dining room.

Would this be enough to bring him into the world?

These walls had seen her grieve the loss of babies before; missed opportunities of a family and little laughs. Would they witness life this time?

Callie’s face hardened, nodding to herself with quickening breaths.

“I can do this,” she panted, tears brimming her eyes. “I can do this,”

Without Nick?

She wiped her eyes crudely, stopping hard when another contraction buckled her knees. The basket flipped it’s contents out before her alongside a curse, but through her own spitting profanities, she heard a soft thump , then the hum of her phone vibrating beside her hand, hidden under a small shirt. Her laughter was hysteric as she clawed for it, pressing it against her sweaty forehead and sobbing. When she could look at the multitudes of messages Nick had sent, she brought her face to the sky, thanking whoever had been passing by for showing mercy.

Cal answer me please

He sent the text with a hard press to his screen, the phone shoving back into his pocket as he made his way back to Sergey and the stout man who’d still kept hollering, but was now going to be dealt with a handful of tickets he’d accumulated after a quick sweep of his premises revealed he was the man who someone had called about.

Although at this point it wouldn’t help, Nick still took a cautionary breath while making his way across the lawn. He was a few insults away from slugging the middle aged man and calling it self defense, but Nick couldn’t trust himself not to concuss him if given the chance.

The strong vibration of his phone against his thigh completely turned him around, raising a hand to Sergey as he answered Callie’s call he’d waited desperately for.

“I texted you like a hundred-”

“Nick come home Leo’s coming!” she gasped harshly into the call.

It was what he’d feared had been happening the entire time his texts and calls had gone unanswered. There’d been days she did this; usually it was because of a nap or showering, sometimes forgetting her phone in the kitchen, but today, it wasn’t the heat that made his skin sweat, and it wasn’t his uniform that felt too tight around him. The discomfort had been under his skin, building deep down in his gut as the time dragged by. He’d known it all along, but couldn’t accept it until now.

He shouted something at Sergey, but to know if he understood him would go unconfirmed. Nick couldn’t even hear himself above the instant pounding in his ears, his sprint back to the cruiser and jumping behind the wheel all a blur, his voice shaking when he told Callie he was already driving.

The sirens stayed blaring the race across town, slamming his palm against the horn when the inane didn’t know better to get out of his way, because he’d push cars aside with his own if they interfered with this. What they’d been waiting years for, what he’d had nightmares and daydreams about, what he was so ready to protect.

It left him in disbelief while he drove wildly through the streets- surely to face harsh criticism once he’d returned to work- that in this moment, he felt no fear over meeting his son. It was only bubbling excitement to soon have all his questions answered, to finally touch the feet that kicked mightily when he heard his father's voice.

Nick’s hand covered the wide smile that spanned across his face, an equally insane stream of laughter erupting as the understanding fully dawned on him, and with that, the fear returned, too.

He was about to be a father for real, now.

By the time he was screeching around the last turn to the home stretch to their house, he’d composed himself and silenced the laughter he knew she didn’t need to be dealing with right now. By that phone call alone he could tell she was probably in hysterics, but why had she taken so long to reply then?

The sirens had also been killed before coming to a shrieking halt in the driveway, not even bothering to close his door before sprinting across the lawn.

He swung the door open so hard it bounced against the wall. “CAL!?”

“Over here,” came her weak call, and he again didn’t bother with the door before following her voice to the dining room where she was slumped in a chair and fanning her cheeks with an envelope.

“Are you okay? Are you alright?” he implored, squatting down to hold her face that was flushed and sweaty.

“My water broke all over his room and I slipped and hit my head,” she pouted, hot tears falling down her cheeks.

“Wha-” he choked, quickly standing to move her hair apart and check where she said it had smacked against the floor. Thankfully there was only a small abrasion that barely bled, but after going on to tell him how she lost consciousness and was sensitive to light, he knew there was even more reason to hurry.

“Leo’s bags,” she pointed, moving to hoist herself up.

“Hell no,” Nick scolded, easily scooping her up bridal style. “You’ll sit in the cruiser and I’ll get his stuff,” he was already walking her towards the door, taking the moment to kiss the top of her head when it rested tiredly against his chest. The exhaustion she must’ve been feeling was probably crippling based solely on her limp movements and weak voice.

Another contraction was starting when she was placed in the seat, but Nick moved faster than before when she waved him back into the house hurriedly, gripping the roof handle and arching against her seat. It was only a matter of seconds before he returned and was throwing all their bags into the trunk and himself back behind the wheel and they were off with the sirens blasting again.

Surely another harsh lashing was to come from that misuse, but this was worth it.

He didn’t know what to say or ask when she squeezed his hand like a vice, her legs straightening like a board and smacking her thigh repeatedly as she did her best to ride the contractions out silently. A few loud cries made their way from her throat still, then a soft apology that Nick would insist wasn’t needed.

He’d hold her face and kiss her cheeks when they stopped in traffic and Callie urged him to turn the sirens off when they did nothing to move the congested lanes no one could budge from, but it pained him to see her in such agony when they split her down the middle.

“W-what can I do?” he asked, fighting to keep his focus on her and the traffic inching forward.

“Nothing,” she gasped, her head lolling to look at him. “But it’s okay baby, just concentrate on the road,” she breathed, both of her hands securing around his. The sincerity in her big, tired eyes was there, but so was anxiety. Could he even tell if she was going to swing into one in this state?

“Talk to me,” she grunted while positioning herself in the seat. “Did we agree on what color he’d be?” she smiled.

He laughed nervously, a hand on the wheel and another on her stomach while her body was calm. It was so hard now, and if he wasn’t mistaken, even a little smaller. “I think we said mostly you with freckles of my color,”

She laughed, wincing. “I don’t think he’ll have hair,”

“I think he will. Maybe pointed ears,” Nick glanced at her, his smile fading when her face started to tighten again.

“And tusks-” she got out before her hand slapped against his arm to grip, this time wiggling onto her side to press her face into the seat.

It was another hour before the hospital was finally in sight, and for the first time in their relationship, Callie had been the one to leave bruises on his arm. Nick this time would take full advantage of being a cop; he could leave the cruiser parked right in front for as long as needed and no one could do anything about it.

“Ready?” Nick asked after darting around to her side with the bags looped around his shoulders and chest. His vest and belt had since been removed; they were only an annoyance at this point.

Callie’s response wasn’t immediate, and it wasn’t entirely sure, either. Although she nodded, the tears in her eyes and tremble of her chin revealed to him the fear she’d tried hiding up to this point. All the times she’d told him, herself, everyone that she could do this, she was still questioning herself in the moment. All this time she’d done her best to bury that dread, but now facing the question anew, could she do this?

A small team of nurses had come out with a wheelchair after spotting exactly what was going down and Callie was transferred from from his arms to the seat, his hand lingering in hers until he was forced to follow behind.

Her intake was quick; apparently your water breaking got you a spot right to the front of the line in the maternity wing, but just as they’d given Callie a bed and IV with the promise of rest, an exam to verify what stage she was at had her cursing just as loudly as she did during a contraction. Nick’s fingertips turned white under her grip, watching in horror as the attending dove knuckle-deep to examine her.

“Okay my love,” the attending stood, pulling her gloves off. “You’re at seven, so almost there. Did you want an epidural?”

“No,” Callie snapped. “I’m doing it natural,”

“That’s fine, but know we don’t give them after a certain point so we don’t slow down labor. Who is your OB?”

“Sangui,”

“We’ll page her, I think she’s here today, actually,” she jotted down in her little notepad she’d brought forth from her chest pocket, a few strands of hair loose around her eyes. “Okay, sit tight and we’ll be back,” she smiled, squeezing Callie’s foot before leaving with the nurse.

“Hey,” Nick scooted back beside her, wiping his thumbs across her brow and looking into her tired eyes. “How’re you doing? What can I do?” he asked in soft tones, kissing her gently when she shook her head.

“Tell me I’m gonna be okay,” she croaked, hanging onto his wrist.

“You’re definitely gonna be okay, both of you are,” he reassured, pressing his forehead to hers when she closed her eyes and nodded, soaking in his confidence.

Now out of her soaked dress, the crisp hospital gown actually felt nice on her hot skin, as did the cold sheets of the bed, at least until she was rolling onto her hands and knees as another contraction roared to life. Callie cried from the misery in her lower back, unable to remain still or even lay down when it wrapped around her.

Between sprints, Nick, although feeling like more of a nuisance than actual help, spooned ice chips into her mouth and pressed forcefully against her lower back when she begged for some kind of reprieve, moving on to carry all her weight when she hung in his hold after deciding to stand and walk around; that only lasted a half lap around the room. It was an awkward way to hold her up like this, with his hands clasped against shoulder blades and forearms under her armpits, but it seemed the way she hung deadweight helped ease some of the insane force across her body.

Until they were taken upstairs to a more appropriate room for her delivery, Callie bit and smothered herself through the pain, leaning over into the bedding to scream instead of trying to walk and breathe through it like the nurses so urged. Sometimes it was the mental strain that needed to be eased.

But even then the allure of pain meds grew as the time drew on.

She walked and bounced on the exercise ball when they said it would help speed labor along, but either of those became impossible as the contractions only grew closer. There wasn’t enough time to catch her breath before the next one came barreling down, and within another hour, she couldn’t stand to be touched.

Laying down was murder, but so was standing up.

She stopped Nick everytime he urged to call Rosie or his mom, telling him he wasn’t allowed to until Leo was out. Knowing my luck this will all be false labor, she had groaned.

She wanted to rip off the noisy monitors banded around her distended waist, but hearing Leo’s heartbeat thunder through the speakers reminded her of what was to come after all of this, that she knew as soon as she saw him, all of this would be worth it.

So she grit her teeth and clung to Nick when the pain came, her nails digging into his arms and shoulders, but he didn’t let out a peep of discomfort. In the moments she was free of misery that left her breathless, he held her against his chest and kissed her steamy cheeks, wiping away the sweat dotted across her forehead. He only told her how strong and capable she was, but never asked her to keep fighting through the pain. He didn’t want her to think she had to break herself over this; that it was okay to ask for pain relief if it was easier on her already strained body.

Callie grunted against his chest, her knees propped apart with a couple pillows. She’d given up trying to find comfort with the ten pillows that only made her hotter, and although Nick was a heater of his own, he came with big hands that massaged her miserable back.

“Do I need to move?” he asked, starting to pull his shoulder from underneath her head.

“No,” she grunted, rolling her onto her back. ”I gotta go to the bathroom,”

The heavy door to their room opened, and at last Dr. Sangui came in with hands clasped and a warm smile. “What ever got you here needs to be relayed so I can share the secret with the other a hundred moms desperate to pop their babies out,”

“Homemade salsa,” Nick grinned.

“Oh, well some of them are out of luck then. How’re you doing Callie?”

“I have a lot of pressure on my butt,” Callie frowned tiredly.

“Well let’s do a quick check here then,” she moved to grab gloves from off the walls. “When was your last one?”

“‘Bout an hour ago,” Nick answered, already offering his hand after Callie slid fully onto her back and spread her knees.

“And you were seven then?” she asked, apologizing softly when Callie tensed. She still nodded through it, this one not anywhere as bad as before.

“Well, get ready for the last stretch,” she looked up at the nervous couple. “It’s time to start pushing,”

Callie’s expression worried, her head dropping back with a hand rested against her chest and the other in Nick’s grasp.

“Hey,” he called softly, stopping her before she walked into that storm. “You can do this, baby,”

She nodded with him, eyes glossy. “I can do this,”

“You can, you’re finally gonna see him,” Nick’s voice wavered, but he took the opportunity to kiss her knuckles before leaning down to kiss her, reassuring her as many times as needed.

The staff was a blur around them, setting up trays at her feet and dimming the lights to make way for the blinding one above her. Gowns were draped over scrubs and Callie’s bed was formed until she was upright with one foot in a stirrup and another in Nick’s hold, his thumb caressing her knee comfortingly.

“Alright hun, why don’t you give me one good push to see where we’re starting,” Dr. Sangui smiled from behind her mask.

Callie nodded, her chin touching her chest when she pushed, whimpering at the immediate growth in pressure.

“Mom’s a good pusher, let’s set up quickly,” she called back to her staff cheerily, smoothing down the blue mats between herself and Callie.

It was a small boost to her confidence, but one she’d take nonetheless.

She watched them finish laying the blankets over the warmed tray and the scale beside it, the stethoscopes ready around their necks and bulbs prepared to be used. She didn’t dare examine the tray of scalpels and head clamps within Dr. Sangui’s reach; she couldn’t concentrate on that possibly.

Callie’s knees started to tighten. “I’m gonna have another one,” she groaned, her toes curling.

“Okay Callie, when you feel it, that’s time to push, alright? Push right into your bottom like you’re poopin’,”  she instructed, scooting closer between her feet.

Her hold adjusted around Nick’s wrist, looking up at him, searching.

 I love you, he mouthed, grimacing when there was only a second of her bright smile before it was time.

She pushed with every fiber of strength she had left in her spent body. Until her face was red and they said rest, she pushed even if it felt like her middle was splitting open.

 Just go just go just go! She screamed internally, desperate to move her mind around the torture, but everything was pain, and she felt every second of it. Every twist Leo made in her pelvis, she felt. Every inch he moved farther down between her hips; at one point she stressed her hips could dislocate, but was only told to keep pushing.

The breaks between the pushes were still agonizing. The pressure was that of the kind around your skull when you dive too deep, but it didn’t lessen when she calmed.

“...seven, eight, nine, ten, okay take a breath,” Dr. Sangui breathed with Callie. “And again, push,”

With her chin to her chest and jaw clenched so tight she thought her teeth would shatter, she started to care less and less about the gutteral sounds she made. She grabbed the back of her knees, her face scrunched-

“Here comes the head!” Dr. Sangui smiled. “Keep going- five, six, seven-”

Nick leaned forward to look, the air punched from his lungs once observing the horrifying sight before him.

“Okay take a quick break, this is the ring of fire but I think you can have his head out in another push,” she encouraged, piling gauze beside her.

“Oh fuck me,” Callie breathed, panting before falling back into concentration and pushing again, and lord did the ring of fire live up to it’s name. This time the shouts wouldn’t be suppressed, nor the curses. There was no way in hell anyone could expect composure now at this point with her center literally on the brink of ripping apart.

“Breathe breathe breathe and again,”

It was hard to hold her breath while she pushed; there was already so much pressure everywhere, and her head was starting to pound again-

There was a popping sensation, some slight relief.

“Heads out! C’mon Callie, one more good push!” Dr. Sangui cheered, a nurse stepping forward with a blanket over her outstretched arms.

Callie couldn’t see past her stomach when she searched frantically. “His head?” she looked up to Nick who’s eyes had glossed over when he looked at her.

“He has hair,” he smiled, his voice cracking.

Callie tittered, her shaking grip adjusting around Nick’s wrist again.

“You can do this,” he held the back of her head, sincerity pooling in his molten eyes. “You’re so close baby,”

Callie nodded again, eyes pinching shut when the wrath started to build up.

“Okay hun, one more time,”

She waited, inhaling deeply. “I can do this,” she whispered.

Nick started to exclaim and encourage when she felt Leo start to move from her, his grip tightening on her leg, but she couldn’t open her eyes while she pushed. Sangui cheered the same, and could feel her fingers move around Leo’s jaw and neck, pulling gently against her body until the pressure was finally gone.

She exhaled loudly as he came spinning out, Nick’s breathless exclaim opening her eyes just as the tiny, gargling screams came.

Callie sobbed as soon as he was lifted onto her bare chest, his arms thrown out angrily and puffy eyes pinched shut as he wailed into the cold world around him. Finally he was in her hold, at last able to touch the velvety skin of his face or feel his cries when resting her hand on his back, and the deep breaths he sucked in between every holler. She held the back of his delicate head, astounded by the dappling of Nick’s color that formed the markings across his round cheeks and human nose, all the way back to his tiny pointed ears.

Her words weren’t words at all, but simply emotions taking flight in wails and sobs as she touched every part of him that she’d grown.

She looked up at Nick who was wiping his eyes crudely against the sleeves on his arms. “I did it,” she sighed, her eyes sliding shut when he kissed her forehead. “Nick look at him,” she beamed, pulling him closer by the shirt.

His vision was blurry from tears when he dragged his knuckles faintly across Leo’s soft cheek, hiding the sobs in his other palm. His soft graze traced the tones of his skin, detailing the freckles that dusted across his shoulders and cheeks like his mothers.

His strong, little fingers wrapped around Callie’s, squeezing and releasing as he continued to weep against her chest as he was jostled and dried by the nurses. Nick smoothed the sticky, sandy blonde hair from his forehead, the parents laughing when Leo grunted loudly before stirring again.

“I didn’t expect this color,” Callie commented, carefully pulling it up to see he already had a few inches worth of hair running the curve of his head in a thick stripe.

“I didn’t expect hair,” he snorted.

Callie kissed his fingers, tears trailing down her cheeks as she admired him. “He’s so perfect,” she whispered, tapping his puckering chin.

Leo’s face scrunched, a soft chuff stirring a few coughs.

Nick’s heart wept; there was already so much of himself in him.

“I can’t believe how pretty he is,” Callie spoke softly, the pair in awe when he whined, his face sorrowing.

“He looks so sad,” Nick grieved, rubbing his arm that curled in tighter to his body, still gripping Callie’s finger.

Callie hushed him softly, craning her neck to press a flurry of kisses into his cheek and temple. “Que paso hermoso? Hm?” she cooed, more kisses finding his hand. “Are you angry you had to come out?”

“Is he…?” Nick trailed off, both of them freezing when his swollen eyes started to flutter open. Nick leaned far over, fighting to catch a glimpse of his eyes. “Can we turn that off?” he asked, pointing at the light.

“Oh, yep! Sorry little guy,” Dr. Sangui grinned guiltily, adjusting the high beam from his face.

Two bright golden jewels rolled around behind squinted eyelids, making out only a blurry outline of his father that smiled down at him.

“So all you got from me is my nose, huh?” Callie joked, both of them chuckling.

Leo’s big eyes opened wider, his head pressing back into her palm.

“Talk again,” Nick said, watching in amazement.

“Leo,” she called softly, beaming from ear to ear when he stilled, his eyes opened and looking in her direction. “Do you recognize my voice bebe? Do you hear me Leonardo Makar?” she whispered, kissing his knuckles.

He kept looking up, his blinks heavy as she spoke to him, kissing the space between his eyes that Nick ran the pad of his thumb up and down over to make his nose scrunch. When it was time for him to be weighed, her heart sank the moment he cried after being lifted from her chest, his serenity broken and warmth taken away

“Go with him,” she told Nick who was already following his crackly cries to the small heated bed.

He wailed and kicked, and Nick fought shouting at them to do this all later. Why couldn’t he just lay with Callie!? They didn’t need to be putting bands around him and measuring- he wasn’t going to grow that fast!

“He is ten pounds four ounces,” a nurse smiled back at Callie.

“Oh my god,” she wailed from behind him, but Nick wouldn’t drag his eyes from Leo who was continuing to howl and tremble under their assault.

 What else could they have to do!? They’d done the lengths, drying, wrapping yada-yada, what the fuck else!? How long were they gonna keep him crying there!? He wanted to move beside him and talk to him, offer his touch in comfort, but they remained huddled around him, rolling him side to side as they swaddled him.

 “Ready to hold him dad?” an older, more soft-spoken nurse asked Nick while she finished fixing the beanie pulled over his matted hair.

His anger fell away, excitement bringing forth a quick nod.

Leo was starting to whine angrily again just as Nick found his seat beside Callie’s bed, another nurse propping a pillow under his elbow before his son was lowered carefully into his arms. His head rested in the crook of his elbow, his body curled inwards towards Nick and his hands peeking out from the blanket where he tried to suck on his fist.

In Nick’s hold Leo looked small, but even he knew just by holding him that he was a big baby, but everything about him was precious, miniature. Nick’s curiosity moved under the beanie to his pointed ears, following his brow down to the tip of his rounded nose- Callie’s nose- and over his soft lips that searched for milk.

Leo’s feet nudged softly against Nick’s palm where his bottom half was curled up, and he squeezed them with great care, watching his toes spread when a foot finally broke loose of the swaddle. Nick’s thumb fit across the bottom of Leo’s silky foot, his toes curling around the tip of his finger when he pressed gently.

He chuckled every time a little arm sporadically sprung upwards, his grabbing hands aimless and sometimes gripping Nick’s shirt. His grip was strong around his finger, lifting his hand to gaze at his little, little fingernails.

Callie watched with misty eyes as Nick pulled Leo closer to his chest, leaning down to press firm kisses to his face, nuzzling his nose under his round cheeks even when the baby boy whined in protest. His crackly voice stirred sympathy in Nick’s already bursting heart, softly, and only half-heartedly apologizing to him after peppering more kisses against his chubby cheek. The blanket was secured tighter around his little shoulders, talking softly to him in Orkish whispers that he hoped would calm Leo’s tired cries. Babies crying usually made him nervous, but Leo’s little wails stirred something close to a sobbing laughter, something affectionate and overflowing with admiration for the little thing he held close to his heart.

He wanted to see those big, amber eyes look up at him, but the longer he remained curled tight against Nick’s warm chest with calming pats against his bottom, the more he couldn’t bear to move him from contentedness.

“Of course he doesn’t kick you when he’s angry,” Callie mumbled playfully, giggling at Nick’s goofy grin when he could finally pull his gaze away from his handsome son.

“He’s got a lot to say,” Nick rubbed the space between his eyes again, chuckling when his brows furrowed and he whined louder.

“Now we can call everyone,” she grunted, eyes pinching shut as the doctor went on to stitch and clean her up. It stung, but was nothing compared to five minutes ago.

Nick gasped softly. “I have an idea,” he whispered to Leo excitedly. He cringed when he disturbed him while stretching a leg to dig his phone from his pocket, comforting Leo enough to keep him from wailing as he found his mother in his call log, but his quick panting would soon lead to full on sobs again.

High-pitched whimpers started to emit from him, his arm coming from the blankets.

“I see what you’re doing,” Callie reached to touch Leo’s forehead, rubbing her fingers back and forth over the velvety skin.

Nick tensed when the line picked up, and as planned, Leo started to cry louder, his round face souring. “Ma?” Nick called, his voice bubbling with excitement.

“Nick- who’s, who’s baby?” Dinara finally spoke, breathlessly that was.

He fought but couldn’t steady his voice before saying, “He’s here, Ma,”

There was only shouting after that, clustered and slipping madly between English and Orkish as she screamed for Oleg, struggling to get out what she intended. Nick tried to answer her blubbering questions, but she was crying the next one out before he even had time to finish the first.

Nick let the nurse lift Leo from his arms and back into Callie’s after she’d finished, ending the call with his parents after getting enough out to tell them what hopital they were at.

“Come here come here,” Callie reached excitedly, cradling him tight to her chest and freely reining kisses over the small plain his soft face.

Nick wiped his eyes again, standing to watch quietly as the nurse assisted Callie on how to get Leo to latch, his body unwrapped from the blankets and resuming skin to skin contact. Now he was really screaming, his short legs kicking wildly and arms throwing erratically until he was placed on his stomach over Callie’s bare chest.

The sensation of breastfeeding would definitely be something to adjust to, and Leo although being eager to eat was a stubborn latcher, crying angrily when Callie struggled and her soft words doing nothing to calm his hunger.

Nick could see her becoming flustered under the gaze of the nurses, glancing up nervously while trying to adjust the support under her arms.

Without a word, he stuffed the pillow higher under her elbow, releasing his own breath when she did after Leo finally found his spot.

Her head dropped back, eyes closing with a small smile across her lips. “Thank goodness.”

It was a brief feeding; Leo needed only a few drops of colostrum before he released, but the whole feeding had been another sight to marvel at. He grunted through his nose as he suckled, his face scrunched hilariously. Leo detached himself with a single sharp cry, his big eyes starting to flutter open again. This time, Nick had his phone ready for pictures when he looked around sleepily, and blindly, basically, but his cries were now little grunts and chuffs, breathing rapidly in between wide yawns that made Nick and Callie’s hearts throb.

Nick promised and pleaded her beauty when he started taking photos of them, begging her not to hide her glow after pulling the blanket down enough to snap the photos that would be cherished forever. Leo lasted a while before his lids started to slide shut, his sporadic wiggles calming when Nick rubbed his bare, fuzzy back.

He leaned over to wiggle his face between his shoulder and cheek carefully, pressing final kisses everywhere until he started to stir, but rested his cheek against his back, the beat of his rapid heart filling his ears.

Callie touched Nick’s cheek, her eyes pooling with tears again. “He’s perfect, isn’t he?”

He kissed her before he lost his composure again, smoothing her messy hair away from her face and reminding her how beautiful, amazing, and strong she was. “He’s perfect because you’re perfect,” he kissed into her cheek, wiping her eyes when she tried to look away with blushing cheeks.

“Hey!” she sniffled, craning her neck to find their bags. “Get my phone, yeah? I wanna call Rosie,”

Nick quickly located her phone, handing it to her but replacing her hand on Leo’s back so he wouldn’t roll away by some miraculous chance.

Callie navigated her phone until the line was ringing on speaker, hopeful she wasn’t in the middle of a call.

“Heeey,” Rosie answered nonchalantly.

"You have to promise you won’t be mad at me,” Callie barely got out past the excitement in her voice.

There was a pause. “What did you do?”

She withheld the laughter to say, “I’m holding your nephew,”

“My nephew… my nephew. My nephew!? You had Leo!?” Rosie shrieked, the panic heightened in her shrill voice over the line.

“He has my nose!” Callie lamented, both her and Nick laughing when Rosie only screamed obscenely through the phone.

“I’ll be there! I’m coming right now, I love you so much I’ll see you soon!” Rosie sobbed, the line clicking before Callie could get another word in.

“I hope she doesn’t walk in screaming like that,” Callie giggled, stuffing her phone beside her.

Their attention quickly moved back to Leo when an acute growl vibrated through his small body, and that was when Nick lost it. He hid his face against the pillow behind Callie, laughing as she did but also sobbing like a mess. There was no need to explain the confusing swarm of emotions he was under the spell of to Callie or the nurses around them, and definitely not to Dr. Sangui who congratulated the new parents on their healthy baby boy, assuring to Callie that as soon as she left she’d be canceling the c-section.

When the sobs were muddled and eyes red and puffy found his son again, Nick rested his cheek against Callie’s arm above Leo’s head so he could watch him sleep, kissing soft I love you’s into his covered head while she counted his toes and fingers, touching the two freckles on his chin that matched hers. They detailed the distinct patterning of Nick’s hue over the caramel glow of his skin, the darker freckles in some spots and the lighter ones over his cheeks. Nick was in awe at how much of himself and Callie he found the longer he stared and how much was unexpected, but in every sense, and every way possible, Leo was perfect.

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Leonardo Makar Jakoby

July 19th | 10 lbs 4 oz | 21 in

Born to proud parents Calista & Nicholas

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😍Expect a lot of secret drawings of Leo now😍

[nightspeckle]

High School Au {Part 2}

Part 1  -- Part 3 -- Part 4

******

Jude’s Pov:

I’m sitting on my bed pulling the sneakers off of my feet when Viv decides to make her entrance. 

It’s Sunday afternoon and I just got back from a particularly sweaty session of karate (which everyone likes to make fun of me for doing). So I’m not really in the mood for the teasing Viv will give me. 

“Love the Marshmellow suit, super flattering,” Viv says as she jumps on the bed next to me. I roll my eyes at her which is more out of habit than a real annoyance. 

I flop back onto the mattress next to her and watch as her nose crinkles up.

“You smell”. 

“That wouldn’t be an issue if you left,” I smile and point to the door. I’ve been dreaming of taking a shower since I started practice today. and I’m not about to let her delay me.

“No way, you’ve been avoiding me since Friday”.

She punches me in the shoulder a smile playing on her face.

“I wonder why?” I say nudging her back. 

“Probably because you don’t want to talk about Cardan”. She wiggles her eyebrows suggestively and I chuck my pillow at her face.

“Get out!” I’m going to strangle her if she doesn’t.

“Rhyia thinks he might have a crush on you,” she says suggestively.

“What is this? Fifth grade?” I ask while simultaneously banging my head on my pillows. 

I think of Friday night for the first time all weekend. I’ve been trying to keep it out of my mind for the past two days. I really don’t need to relive the whole night and especially not the hangover Saturday morning which was as equally painful. 

The glare Cardan gave me that night was enough to send me running. It didn’t help that after I slapped him he had grabbed my hand and held it in place. 

It was awful. The way I was stuck as my palm was glued to his face. He had hissed at me then told me to get out. Two words had never sounded so unrelentingly cold until then. 

What an asshole.

But then I think of how soft his night-black hair felt. How good it felt when we were dancing. That somewhere deep down I was craving to feel him against me again. But then the look he gave me smashes all of those thoughts to pieces.

As much as I wish I could deny that he's absolutely gorgeous I can’t. Which sucks. Such a perfect face wasted on an awful human being. A real shame. 

“Too bad we share a life long hate for each other,” I say trying to play it off as if I don’t want to murder him. 

Viv sits up and shrugs and says “More like lust but to each their own!”.

She smiles and winks at me before dashing to the door. The shoe I aimed at her head just hits a closed door and I flop down on my bed. 

“Use extra soap this time,” I look up to see her head poking around my door.

I flip her off which earns a chuckle before she disappears again.

If only Viv was right. It would make things so much better if my biggest tormenter didn’t hate me at all. If only.

....  

Fortunately for me, Elfame High is a big ass school. The campus is massive and there are two-thousand kids. 

But all of that is irrelevant because I still end up seeing Cardan twenty times a day. I never really thought about how much our schedules overlap before because it never mattered until now. 

But here I am sitting in my car in the school parking lot all alone thinking about how many times I’ll want to die today. 

Viv went with Taryn to school today. She usually comes with me but I got stuck with taking Oak to school and Viv wanted no part in his early morning whining. 

Truthfully I don’t actually mind taking Oak to school. It’s only a few minutes out of the way and it’’s adorable when he sings along to songs on the radio at full volume. Taryn finds it ear-shattering and anything that will keep her away from me is a perfect added bonus. 

There’s a knock on my window that has me jumping out of my seat. I turn to see Garrett’s face with a sly smile spreading across it.  

I shove my door open banging into him as I do. 

“Easy there Jude,” He smirks as I slam my door and head towards the entrance. 

“I didn’t see you Friday,” I say as we weave through more cars. My parking space is in the way back which sucks for when I’m running late. Which is basically every day.

“Didn’t go,” He shrugs.

“Lucky Bastard,” I say. He chuckles at that.

Garrett nudges my shoulder “Do anything stupid?”

“It’s my specialty,” I respond back and catch the glint of amusement in his eyes.   

I’m scanning the kids lounging around the entrance in hope of seeing Liliver when I spot him for the first time. 

He sticks out even in the crowd. He’s wearing all black as usual but something just seems different. A few strands of his gorgeous black hair are falling in front of his face. Something about him is just enthralling today.

My thoughts have wondered on and now all I can think about is the dancing and his hands and about how I wish I could relive it. 

What the fuck? 

Have I lost my shit? I can not possibly be daydreaming about Cardan Greenbriar. 

There is no way I can be thinking about the bully of my childhood in any way that doesn’t align with lifelong hate. He’s an asshole, a jerk, an emotionless cruel bastard.  

But his...

No! No Jude stop! 

I make myself stop looking at the hands he has tucked in his pockets or the necklace’s peeking out from behind his shirt or the curly strand of hair falling in front of his eyes. 

I look up to his face to see that his dark eyes are staring right back at me. He caught me looking at him which is enough to make me want to shrivel up and die in embarrassment. 

But then his eyes are roving and I can feel them moving down my body. He’s looking at the black ripped jeans I'm wearing and my marron shirt.

It looks for a second like he might smirk at me but when he meets my eyes again I watch as it turns into a scowl. 

Asshole. 

.... 

I see him 6 more times. All about the same encounter as in the morning. It starts off with my staring, his realization of said staring, and then the exchange of glares and pure hatred. 

But besides the glaring, it not completely intolerable. There’s no mean comments or teasing or tripping or really anything he did when we were younger.

Besides the utter humiliation of basically being kicked out of Valerian's party by Cardan himself, I think everything will be fine.

So I stop worrying that the old teasing might resume and focus back on normal things.

Well, that is if you count history club as normal.

It wasn’t really a choice to join it at first. Madoc was on one of his tirades about college and how if I don’t buff up my application I’ll go nowhere.

Which was a really great pep talk if you ask me. Just the way to encourage your kids, by yelling at them!

History club actually turned out to be interesting which sucks because I had been planning on acting miserable enough to get him to feel bad about it.

We’re going over historical battle tactics today which is going to be absolutely amazing.

I’m on my phone arguing with Viv about who has to pick up Oak. Which of course is going to end up being me when Noggle starts talking.

Mr.Noggle is one of the most enthusiastic teachers at the school. The man is in love with history. Well history and astrology which if you ask me is a weird mix. But to each there own, right? Besides the point. He runs this club with his whole heart and expects everyone else to be just as invested. 

“Okay so the printers are broken and by some ridiculous luck of mine so is the projector. Which means the plan has been utterly destroyed.” He seems genuinely disappointed.

“So get into partners and I’ll give you some strategies and next week we’ll group discuss what people find, okay? Cool!”

One of the issues I have with the history club is the lack of friends I have in it. Or more importantly the lack of people I don’t despise. Which is a thinning number.

There are only 11 people in the club. And I’m always the odd man out. I’m spotting which pair looks like the least irritable to join with when the door opens.

That's when the devil incarnate walks in with his cold and cocky attitude.

Meanwhile, Noggle’s smile has grown as big as the sun. “I’m glad I could finally convince you to join! I was starting to worry you wouldn’t show.” The man is practically beaming with his joy.

Cardan looks kinda happy too which is something I thought I would never see. Noggle is patting him on the back and talking to him with utter glee.

Cardan looks so relaxed. I’ve never seen him with anything but disdain painted over his features. But here he is hunched shoulders and a smile plastered on his face.

He must feel my gaze because he turns and looks over my way and then I freeze. His face does a 180 and the look I have come so accustomed too my whole life greets me yet again.

Mr.Noggle turns around to scan the room stopping on me and my desk in the back. His ever-present smile still on display.

“Perfect! Jude doesn’t have a partner you guys can work together!” Noggle is nodding enthusiastically like this is going to be the best idea he's ever had.

This has got to be a fucking joke.

~~~

[phoenixkaizen]

Just Like You

Summary: Prompt fic. Aizawa and All might in high school, and Aizawa is getting teased for being gay, Toshinori tries to cheer him up with cuddles Author's Note: Another prompt fill from tumblr! Alright so the title of this fic is the song title Just Like You by Louis Tomlinson. Louis is literally my favorite singer ever and I've been watching him since his X Factor days with One Direction. I tend to use his song titles in a lot of what I write. This song just seemed fitting for this scenerio. Warnings: Bullying, Homophobic slurs, talks of suicide but not by Shouta, language, a pissed off Toshinori, Enji is suddenly... niceish?

Faggot. Queer. Homo. You're disgusting. You deserve to die. Just do everyone a favor and kill yourself. Every single word constantly rang through Shouta's head as he walked the halls of U.A. Recently, he had accidentally came out to his class when they were talking about one of the pro heroes who had recently come out. It had slipped out before he could even catch himself. Ever since then, it seemed like the entire school knew of his sexuality. Now every step he took was followed closely behind by verbal abuse of so called heroes to be. Even members of other classes had gotten involved. Support, General, Business. Apparently it didn't matter. He was only in his first year. He had three more years of this torment. He was still the same Shouta that they knew before he had came out but now it was a complete one eighty. He had been isolated. He was already close to being an outcast for his quirk but now he was an outcast. Only five people remained by his side. His fellow classmates and friends, Oboro Shirakumo and Hizashi Yamada and his friend from Class 2-B, Nemuri Kayama. Lastly, his own boyfriend Toshinori Yagi from Class 3-A. The only people who knew of his relationship with Toshinori were his friends. Toshinori wasn't technically out of the closest but he didn't really care. Toshinori didn't care about who he was in a relationship with as long as if he loved them. Toshinori was the sun of Shouta's life. His smile couldn't lighten up a room. His laugh was contageous to those around him. Some day, Toshinori was going to be the Number One hero. Shouta knew it in his gut. Shouta just hoped that he would still be by Toshinori's side by then. He hasn't exactly told Toshinori about him being a target of the constant teasing and bullying. Hizashi and Oboro did their best within Class 1-A to keep them down at bay but some of them still managed to sneak by. Nemuri had been trying everything to keep Class 2-B off of his back but it also failed ninety percent of the time. Thank god, it was lunch time. No one ever messed with him during lunch because Toshinori sat with them along with Enji Todoroki. Cause for some god forsaken their rivalry in class came out in lunch too. Oddly enough, Enji knew of Shouta's sexuality but didn't say anything. All the Hellflame user said was who cares. His reaction had shocked him the most. Enji Todoroki should have been at the head of the teasing but instead he just sat with them and glared at others who even sent a wrong look in Shouta's direction. It was strangely comforting. Enji happened to be very intimating. He was broader than Toshinori is but Toshinori had height on him. Shouta should of known his luck was running out. Toshinori, Hizashi, and Oboro were deep in conversation about god knows what three sunshine people talk about. Enji occasionally threw in a comment while Nemuri ate in silence while scrolling through social media. Shouta held his book in front of his tray as he also ate in silence. A noise escaped him as his book was ripped from his hands. He turned to look at the culprit but a gasp left him as he felt a liquid cover splash over his head and down his body. He quickly identified it as soda from the stickiness it left behind. The other occupants of the table jumped up from their spots but froze as the boy from Class 3-B, Hiroto Terasaka, leaned down until he was eye level with Shouta. "Fags don't belong in hero society. They would never accept you. Why don't you drop out and go sell yourself on the corner like the whore you are." One the boy stopped talking, he turned his tray upside down and onto Shouta's head. Shouta held out his hands in front of him as he looked down at his lap in shock. Tears prickled his eyes as the older boy's words tore through him. The lunch room broke out into laughter as the teen chackled at his work. A loud crash caused Shouta to look back up. Toshinori now stood in front of him and the now empty tray that belonged to Terasaka was in the floor. Shouta couldn't see the blonde's face but just by Toshinori's body language he could tell the elder was livid. The laughter in the cafeteria fell to a dead silence. Shock and disbelief came to the faces of the other students as they looked at Toshinori and Terasaka. Terasaka sank underneath the piercing gaze from the blonde. "What the fuck did you just say?" Toshinori growled. Tersaka smirked. "I told the stupid little fag to go to the job that would fit him best, of course. He is a little slut after all." The teen said. Shouta watched in awe as Toshinori grabbed the other third year by the front of his uniform and jerked him forward. "You disgust me. You're supposed to be becoming a hero and you are tearing him down. For what? Being gay?" Every word was laced in venom as Toshinori spoke. Tersaka physically shook in Toshinori's hold as he tried to wiggle away from Toshinori's grip. "He's a little faggot. He doesn't deserve to be a hero." Toshinori chuckled and released Tersaka. The other teen falling to his bottom on the floor and his eyes locked onto Toshinori. Shouta held his breath as Toshinori gazed over his shoulder to the Erasure quirk user. "Shouta, how long as this been going on. By the look on your face. This isn't the first time." Shouta swallowed the lump in his throat. The normally soft blue eyes were now cold as ice. A frown covering his face that normally held the smile that would make Shouta's heart skip a beat. "Since Frostbite came out. My classmates were arguing over a gay man being a hero and I accidentally came out too." Shouta whispered, his voice shaking. The anger on Toshinori's face only grew deeper. "That was two months ago, Shouta. Who has been doing this to you?" Toshinori's voice was deep, almost coming out as a growl. Shouta shook his head. At this point, he didn't even know who it was. There was at least three people from each class. "It's almost every class in each year, Yagi-senpai." Hizashi said, the Voice user knowing that Shouta wasn't going to talk. "We've managed to keep our class off for the most part, but they still find a way." Oboro added, his voice laced in regret. Toshinori looked away from Shouta, his glare settling on the other occupants of the room. "You should be ashamed of yourselves." Toshinori stated, his voice raising as he looked out at the other students. "You are making fun of, teasing, bullying, assaulting a fifteen year old because he just so happens to like the same sex?!" Toshinori scoffed. "Within this school is over a hundred students that hope to be heroes one day. From what I just got told, even the hero course is involved in this villainous act." The blonde shook his head, climbing up onto the table that he had been formerly sitting at. "You want to be heroes?! How can you even call yourself a hero in training if you are acting like a villain?" Shouta looked out at the other students, watching the remorse and guilt cover most of their faces. He looked up at his boyfriend and whispered, "Toshi, please. Just leave it alone." The blonde looked down on him. "Absolutely not." He said, looking back out to the others. "Shouta Aizawa will be a hero and he will do it whether you like it or not. He was born to be a hero. I watch him work his ass off every single day after school. He has so much heart in him that he didn't even tell me about this." A smile came to the blonde's face, his gaze softening. "If you want to tease someone for being gay, well you better start coming after me too." Murmurs filled the cafeteria as Toshinori spoke. "I've been dating Shouta Aizawa for six months now. I met him before he started at U.A. and from the moment I saw him... I knew he is the person I'm going to be spending the rest of my life with. So if you want to act like a villain, do it to me. I will have absolutely no problem putting you in your place." Shouta's eyes widened as he watched Enji completely stand up, climbing up onto the table next to Toshinori. "I'm not gay but Yagi's right. This isn't right. Aizawa did absolutely nothing to any of you. As far as I'm concerned, you are nothing but villains. I want to be a hero, and Shouta is Yagi's boyfriend. I will protect him the same way I strive to beat Yagi for the Number One spot." Enji stated, his voice booming through the room. Hizashi, Oboro, and Nemuri all stood up and taking a spot in front of the two third years. "You'll have to go through us too. I'm not going to play nice anymore." Oboro hissed. "Be a villain. You won't last long here." Nemuri said, her normal sweet voice coming out harsh. Hizashi added, "I can't believe this is what U.A. has come too." Toshinori looked to the others with a smile. "You see, we belong to U.A. High, a pretigous school for heroics. If you want to be a hero, stop acting like someone who is different from you is beneath you. That's not who a hero is. At this moment, I'm disgusted that I even know some of you people." Toshinori said, hopping down from the table and standing in front of Shouta. "C'mon, let's go get you cleaned up." The blonde muttered, holding out his hand. Shouta smiled softly as he reached out and placed his hand in Toshinori's. He allowed the blonde to guide him out of the cafeteria and to the men's locker rooms. Neither of them said a word as Toshinori helped Shouta get out of his soaked uniform. The blonde hummed softly as he turned on one of the showers and scrubbed the food and soda out of the ebony locks. Toshinori didn't care as the water splashed onto his uniform as he continued to rub soothing circles into Shouta's scalp. "Why didn't you tell me, Shouta?" Toshinori questioned softly. Shouta shrugged with a sniffle. "I guess I was scared too. I don't know why. I thought I could handle it. I never meant for you to come out when you didn't want too." Shouta whispered, his voice shaking. Toshinori sighed, placing his thumb underneath Shouta's chin and forcing him to look up at him. "Shou, I don't care if anyone knows I'm gay. I'm still the same person I was before. If they want to treat me different than that's on them. I would shout it to the world that I'm stupidly in love with you." Toshinori said, using his other thumb to wipe off a stray tear that found it's way down Shouta's cheek. "I can't yell like Yamada-kun can but I would do it any day. You mean the world to me." Shouta gave a watery smile and leaned forward, placing his head against Toshinori's shoulder. "Thank you." Toshinori smiled, reaching over and shutting off the tap before pulling away from Shouta to hand him a gym uniform. "Now, put that normal scowl on your face and let's get back out there." Shouta nodded with a new found confidence. "Okay." x School was out for the day and Shouta laid in his bed with Toshinori next to him. The older teen held Shouta close to him, drawing random shapes into his back as Shouta cuddled closer. The ebony haired teen felt tears come to his eyes as the words from the bullies came back to his mind. Would it change now that the number one student in U.A. came out as gay. The same student that everyone was rooting for to be the Number One Hero. Toshinori just pulled him closer. "Don't let them get to you, Shou. They are nothing compared to you." The blonde muttered, placing a soft kiss into Shouta's hair. Shouta sighed. "It still hurts." Toshinori rubbed his hands over Shouta's back. "I know, Shou. For now, let's just lay here and forget the world. Even for a moment." Shouta smiled as he cuddled further into Toshinori. He craned his neck so he could see Toshinori's face. "I love you, Toshi." "I love you too, Shouta." Toshinori smiled, leaning forward and kissing Shouta deeply. The warmth of Toshinori's body against his, the feel of his arms wrapped around him, maybe just being held. It made him feel better, knowing that he had Toshinori by his side. Just Toshinori's smile told him that everything was going to be okay.