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0nlythrowharrybeaux · 3 days ago

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Twelve Days: Part 5 **^

Here's the next part! Sorry it took so long 😭 But A LOT happens in this part and it might make y'all a little angry but I think the ending makes up for it!

Full Series Masterlist

WC: 10.5K

Warnings: Infidelity, mentions of slight germaphobia, mentions of unkept/untidy home life, fear of abandonment, sex (unprotected, penetrative), mentions of divorce.

It didn’t take as long as you had been expecting to hear back from Harry. Just another few days, you had just gotten into your car after a dinner service at a client’s home when his call came in. You were excited but feeling a bit nervous regarding the purpose of the call, it could be very casual but given the precarious situation you all found yourselves in, it could also be a call about things getting even more complicated. Regardless of what it was, you wanted to hear his voice.

“Hello?” You answered as you started to take off.

“Hi, how was your day?” He asked and you smiled.

“It was alright. And yours?” You asked.

“Busy. I had two lectures today, I’m just getting my things together before going home.” He shared.

“Okay. I am just heading home myself.” You shared.

“Good, I’m glad we get to accompany each other on our drives.” He said and you smiled.

“So how was it when you got back home?” You asked.

“We had a fight…she AirTag-ged my car.” He disclosed and your features twisted in concern.

“What?!”

“Right? Said she needed to confirm that I would go see you. I told her that I would’ve been honest about my plans if she asked.” Harry explained.

“It’s not like we did anything bad.”

“That’s what I told her. She seemed surprised for some reason.”

“Maybe because I’ve always been the more…liberated of the two.” You explained and he chuckled a bit and you smiled. “This would also disprove her theory that you’ve been spending time with me to make her jealous. I feel like that pisses her off more than anything.” You explained. “She’s always been first choice…” you said, “I get it though. She just puts herself out there more and whatnot, she’s easier to notice. I don’t mind that. I’m definitely more of a background girl, it’s where I thrive and feel comfortable so I’ve never competed her for it and I think she might…sense this…us as me trying to compete with her.” You explained.

“Well that’s shitty for me.”

“It is. And I promise you, I’m not trying to compete for you.” You assured him.

“I know, love. It just sucks thatshe is…” he said solemnly.

“I’m sorry.” You whispered.

“Don’t feel bad for me, love.” He hummed.

“I do because you don’t deserve it. No one does! I just hopes she…gets some clarity soon. This is getting so insane.” You sighed.

“I don’t want to…create a bigger divide but she’s being pretty harsh towards you. She thinks it’s stupid of me to invest all this time in you because according to her, you’re a flake.” He said and you pouted.

“A flake?” You asked for clarification, you were shocked.

“Yep…she’s just saying things at this point.”

“Yeah.” You hummed.

“Well, I’ve given her a month, in my head. To just get her ducks in a row, meet with the lawyer, figure out what she’s going to do…if she doesn’t, I’m going to talk to your parents and ask them to please…reason with her.” He shared and you hummed, “Do you think they would?” He asked you.

“I think so…they love you so much. My mom has always said you’re the son she never got to have.” You shared and he chuckled.

“Did she?”

“She did! Has actually said it on multiple occasions.” You reassured him.

“Well that does make me feel better.” He hummed.

“Good.” You grinned.

After getting that over with, it was just some light conversation about the good and bad parts of your days until he had arrived home. You were going to do some grocery shopping before getting back to your apartment but assured him you’d let him know when you’d made it home.

Thankfully, Ash hadn’t shown up again. You half expected another visit and had been feeling on edge arriving at your apartment the last few days, but with each passing day you tried to let the anxiety diminish. You were loving your quiet life alone so far. You also liked your apartment and were sad that you might have to move if he ever showed up again, but you just needed to not see him again. It was disrespectful really, his inability to honor your wishes after he had left you the way he had. You were feeling even more upset by Bea telling him where you had moved to. You let her know that what she had done was completely unacceptable and just blocked her on everything. You’d observed the way she always got a little more flirty when Ash was around but didn’t think it’d get to the point where she’d share your private information just to get on his good side. Especially when she knew you wanted nothing more to do with him. Hopefully, you’d seen the last of him so that you could actually focus on the dilemma at hand. Your sister.

You were genuinely feeling really worried over what Julie’s next steps would be. You wanted to talk to her but she wasn’t answering your calls or responding to any of your texts just yet. Of course she had the right to be angry with you, but to think you were just using Harry for attention or to make her jealous? That wasn’t in your nature at all. To call you a flake? You were steadfast as can be, she knew this. You were raised the same. You were definitely hurt by her remarks, but you founds some solace in the knowledge that she was projecting her own insecurities about Joe onto you. This was the man who she had personally told you had some commitment issues! The man who undoubtedly made his way back into her life when he saw the seemingly perfect life she was leading with Harry via her social media, through the outlet she had used to allow him back into her life.

You wanted to correct this narrative Julie had made up of you so badly because she ought to know you better than what she was choosing to believe of you. You had never had the type of sister relationship that made you best friends, like you’d mentioned to Harry, there’d always been an air of competition. Being just three years older than you, you’d coincided academically on a few occasions and you really didn’t start to “fight back” until high school. Naturally, you were a bit more likable because you were more laid back . You were great in your classes without imparting as much effort, which surprised your teachers. You soon learned that they expected you to be a little more of a wooer as she had been but when they learned you weren’t they eased up on you, the other students did too. Comparison was a killer and after one awful fight she told you that you had ruined her senior year. She had been cold towards you after that until she was off at college. And well, you decided not to go that route, you went to culinary school instead. And that gave her enough of the sense of superiority that she needed to have over you to placate her.

It had been a week after your conversation with Harry that you had your appointment with your therapist and had gotten to speak to her about what your sister had been saying and how you were feeling about it all. She had been supportive of you trying to go speak with her and so you had done just that. It was the end of her workday and though you felt like a stalker for being parked next to her car waiting for her…this was the only way you’d get anything from her. When you saw her approaching the car you hopped out of yours. As soon as she caught your gaze she noticeably became deflated.

“What are you doing here?” She asked you and you offered a slightly nervous smile.

“Hi.” You greeted Julie. “I was just hoping we could go for dinner and talk?” You asked hopefully.

“About?” She asked cooly.

“What you saw.” You said and you saw her lips purse a bit as she gnawed the inside of her cheek pensively.

“I don’t know…I mean…I know what I saw, I don’t think we need to rehash it.” She stated as she crossed her arms.

“Well you’re still not talking to me so…”

“Because you kissed my husband!” She scowled.

“I know and I’m sorry-”

“No you’re not.” She cut you off.

“I’m not sorry for kissing him. I’m sorry that my actions upset you and angered you.” You clarified.

“So you’re sorry you got caught?” She asked.

“Not necessarily…I mean, I know that you actually don’t care that I kissed him. You don’t love him, so I know that it didn’t hurt you.” You said and she glanced away, “So I’m here to figure out what exactly you’re still so offended with me over.” You said and her gaze found yours again.

“You couldn’t have gone for anyone else?” She asked.

“I didn’t go for him, Julie! We were literally just talking about the things that we were dealing with. I mean, we’ve always had a good relationship as friends, you know that! But through these experiences we’ve been through we bonded on a new level. The attraction was just…there. It wasn’t on purpose. It wasn’t a plan of any sort! And the fact that you believe I would do something like that…” you said sadly, “I’m not calculating like that. You know that. And to be quite honest with you, I feel like…your anger actually has nothing to do with me. It’s just being directed at me and that makes me upset.” You said and her jaw clenched a bit. “Well…that’s all I wanted to say so…” you trailed off and she just nodded but said nothing else.

After standing there in silence for a few seconds you just got into your car and left. You had done your part and now, the ball was in Julie’s court. You hoped that she would give what you’d said some honest thought and consideration. You had only been on the road for a few minutes when a call came in from Harry.

“Hey.” You greeted him.

“That was enthusiastic.” He chuckled sardonically and you couldn’t help but smile.

“Sorry. I’m just heading home from ambushing my sister.” You informed.

“Ah…I take it didn’t go too well?”

“Not really…” you confirmed. “She didn’t say much apart from the usual accusations of me interfering in your marriage.” You sighed. “I also presented to her the idea that maybe the things she’s been saying of me are actually her displacing her anger with her situation with Joe onto me. That one did upset her, I saw it in her eyes.” You elaborated.

“Yeah, she doesn’t love to be in the wrong…” Harry chuckled.

“Yeah. And have you made any headway with her?”

“I don’t know…we’ll see tomorrow. She has an appointment with the lawyer. I’ve already asked mine what I can do if she refuses to sign.”

“And what did the lawyer say?”

“I can petition through the court for them to serve her the divorce papers. If she does’t sign within a certain timeline then the judge can make a default ruling to dissolve the marriage. So there is a way to proceed if she doesn’t abide by my timeline. I just…I don’t want to put her through that humiliation because the only place I know where to find her apart from our house would be her job.”

“Yeah, that’s low…” you agreed. “I mean, you can AirTag her…” you chuckled and he laughed.

“I could…that low has been reached.” He hummed in amusement. “We also have to get a court date if I go that route and who knows how long that would take.”

“Yeah…let’s just hope she does the right thing and comes around.”

“Yeah.” Harry agreed. “I’d like to see you again soon.” He said after a beat of silence.

“I’d like to see you too.” You hummed.

“Been seeing those videos of the couples painting each other…” Harry shared and you giggled.

“Is that what you want to do?”

“Yeah! I think it’d be fun, don’t you?” He asked and you giggled some more.

“Yeah, I think so too!”

“And I can cook for you this time.”

“Love that.” You hummed.

“And we can ask each other all the questions we have for each other over dinner and the painting.” He added to his suggestion.

“Yeah! That sounds like such a fun evening!” You agreed excitedly.

“Good! So let me know when you’ll have at least two days in a row off so that we can also have a little extra time the day after.”

“Okay, I’ll check my work calendar when I get home.”

“Perfect.” Harry smiled. “How are you holding up? Did Ash show up again?”

“I’m alright, still feeling a little…annoyed, I guess. But no, he didn’t come back.” You shared.

“Would you want him to come back? I mean, just so you can clear the air?”

“The more I give it some thought, not really. He’s said what he wanted to say…that he made a mistake, that he loves me and wants me back…” you said with a sarcastic, sing-song-y cadence.

“Do you want to say anything to him?”

“Just how much he hurt me but if anything, that gives him more power over me and I’d hate that.” You confessed.

“I’d hate that for you too. But if you need that for your closure then it might be worth thinking over before completely disregarding it.” Harry advised, as much as he really did hate the thought of you giving Ash another morsel of your time and attention. He wasn’t jealous, more protective than anything. You were still a shell of yourself and he hated that Ash had done that to you.

“Maybe you’re right…but I mean, just saying it out loud is enough for now.” You said, “Thank you for…making me feel comfortable and safe enough to be able to say it.” You thanked him.

“Of course, love.” Harry replied.

Harry was happy that he could make you feel safe and looked after. But he also wanted that same reassurance from you. He understood why you weren’t leaning into that

and into your feelings for him just yet though. You had every right to feel wary about what you two had going, especially with the stance Julie had taken. But that also meant that right now he had no one to really talk about his heavier and darker feelings. He knew for a fact that if he communicated that to you, you’d be there for him but he also didn’t want to overburden you while you yourself were struggling.

“And what about you? I know that maybe your feelings for Julie are not what they used to be but…it also can’t be easy for you.” You said and he bit his lip as he gave some thought to what he wanted to say.

“You’re right about that…It hasn’t been easy. I mean, because of my family and all, it’s created this…fear of being left behind.” He explained. “That weekend that I went to see you?”

“Mhmm?”

“She didn’t come home until Monday afternoon and when I got in she’d left her suitcase by the garage door and I was just filled with dread that she was leaving without saying anything to me.” He explained. “It felt…confusing…because, while I know that the love isn’t there anymore I still…invested a lot in her. In our home…”

“Yeah, I get that.” You assured him.

“And again, it was just that fear of not having a family again. That after everything I did to build a happy home life for myself, I’d still end up…alone.” He disclosed. After a few seconds of quiet he cleared his throat. “Sorry, that was a lot.”

“Don’t be. I was just…processing, empathizing…” you said and he hummed, “If anything, I’d like you to say all of this to me as it comes. You’re always here for me. I want to be here for you too.”

“I want to tell you more but I don’t want to put more on your plate.” He explained.

“I appreciate that but I am feeling better…mentally.”

“Yeah? Since when?”

“Since…you.” You said and Harry smiled.

“Yeah?”

“Yeah. Honest. It’s nice to have a friend and someone to care for with reciprocity.”

“It is. And for the record, I know that you’ll always be in my life. But a part of me is also scared that we won’t be able to have more down the line. Like, what if that gets ruined?”

“So my same fear?” You asked and he hummed.

“Guess so.” He confirmed.

“Well, there’ll always be space for you in my life. I mean that. I feel good when I’m with you and I can only imagine that it’ll only get better if we…are more.” You said timidly.

“I think so too.” Harry hummed and you smiled. “I understand that we both have things to heal from though and that it might take some time to get anywhere near where we might want to get eventually…” he trailed off and chuckled, “I don’t know if maybe I’m getting ahead of myself but I really like you and I like that I can fully be myself around you.” He explained.

You could feel your heart pounding so hard at what he was saying. You could feeling a warmth growing inside of you and spreading all throughout your body. This crush you had on him had you so affected. To hear him saying this was more of a relief than a cause for anxiety. You hadn’t allowed yourself to think that far out of fear that maybe it was intense for now but would fizzle out at some point down the line. But to hear him say that he wanted to give you two an honest shot when things got better, it made you feel a little less delusional. You loved his vulnerability with you. You could also be yourself around him in a way that was so pure. You knew he wouldn’t judge or make you feel bad for it. There was a baseline safety with him that helped your closeness grow quickly.

“Ummm…sorry. D-did I lose you?” He asked nervously and you shook your head quickly.

“Oh my god, no sorry! I was just…so happy to hear you say that.” You giggled.

“Thank god…” he chuckled in relief.

“So sorry.” You laughed through an apology again and he joined you as well.

“Ummm…a-are you far from Santa Barbara?” He asked and you bit your lip.

“Like…almost 30 minutes?”

“Hmmm…do you work tomorrow?”

“I actually don’t…” you shared.

“Can I come see you?” He asked.

“Now?”

“Yeah!” He chuckled, “If you don’t mind the company, it’s gonna be a long weekend. I won’t have class until next Wednesday.”

“You want to spend a whole ass week with me?”

“Yeah. If you’ll have me.” He hummed.

“What about Julie? I don’t want to instigate any bigger issues.”

“She hasn’t really been staying at the house since she returned from her weekend getaway.” Harry shared, “So…I think she’ll be fine.”

“Well then, I’d love to have you over.” You confirmed happily.

“Great! I’m just getting home so I’m gonna get showered, pack, and head over to you.”

“Perfect! See you soon!” You chirped, not even bothering to minimize your excitement.

“Alright, I’ll be seeing you soon.” Harry chuckled.

***********

It was nearing 8pm when Harry was calling to tell you he was outside of your building. You hurried down with your visitor’s badge to ensure his car was safe while parked there and soon enough you were heading back up to the warmth of your apartment.

“Have you eaten?” You asked him as he followed you in.

“Not yet. Do you want to order in?”

“We can but I’m not too hungry to be honest.” You explained.

“Has that been constant lately?” He asked as he set his luggage against your couch and his tote down on the couch.

“No, it’s actually been better. But I’m just…coming off my anxious wave after I ambushed Julie. I feel like it was alright but maybe I’ve made things worse.” You explained your concern as he came up to you and grabbed your hands.

“I get the anxiety but I must say that I’m proud of you for making an effort. And well, you know your sister, and whatever she does with what you said is out of your hands now, love. So try not to be too worried about it.” He advised you and you exhaled and nodded. “I know it’s a lot easier said than done, but you’ve said what you needed to and done your part, yeah?” He asked you and you nodded. “That’s all there is to it.” He said with an encouraging smile.

“I know…” you sighed and glanced down as his hands ran up your arms and rubbed over your shoulders soothingly a few times.

“Y/N?”

“Yeah?” You asked as you turned your gaze back to him.

“I’m really proud of you for doing that. I know it wasn’t easy for you.”

“Thank you.” You whispered happily.

“Can I kiss you?” He asked next and you smirked a bit.

“Of course.” You hummed as one of his hands grabbed your chin gently and angled you up, “Kiss me whenever you want.” You said softly and he smiled.

“I don’t think you know what you’re unleashing…” he responded and you giggled.

“Show me then.” You smirked and he leaned in the rest of the way until your lips were meeting.

You loved to kiss Harry and thought of it often when you’d get lost in your day dreams. The shape of his lips fit so nicely against yours. The pressure of them pressing to your own, the eagerness and need that you could feel flooding the atmosphere between the two of you was addicting. If only he knew how much you were affected by this. Your mouth parted easily to let him in as his tongue swiped against your bottom lip. He moaned in relief in perfect unison with you when his tongue smoothed against yours. He had been longing for your taste as much as you had been longing for his. You grabbed his hands and guided them around your waist and he was quick to hug around you, pulling you even closer to his body as your kiss deepened. It was so easy to get lost in the moment with Harry. You were not sitting on your counter with him standing between your legs as you made out. His hands were up your shirt and yours were feeling over his biceps. You hadn’t ever been with someone as muscular as he was. He didn’t even have to flex for you to feel how strong and built he was.

You were suddenly startled apart by your phone ringing loudly across the counter indicating that it was time for you to begin your “no screen” time. It was easy to find yourself doom scrolling, especially when you struggled to sleep, so you’d made the resolution to cut down your screen time starting at 8pm each night.

“Can you grab it for me?” You asked Harry, your lips smearing into his as you asked your question and he nodded.

“Sure.” He responded and slid his hands from beneath your shirt and walked around the counter to grab your phone before bringing it back to you.

“Sorry, I’m trying to stop using my phone by 8pm each night.” You explained as you stopped the alarm and proceeded to turn on “Do Not Disturb” mode for the night.

“Smart!” He said as his hands landed on your thighs.

“It’s hard but research says cutting off screen time before bed helps.”

“Well, that’s true.” He assured you and you smiled. “And it’s 8 already? I should order something in.” He said before stuffing his hand down his back pocket and pulling out his phone. “Are you hungry now?” He asked you with a smirk.

“Yeah, more now.” You chuckled.

“Hungry for anything in particular?”

“Tacos?” You suggested.

“Ooh, perfect! What’s good in your area?” He asked and soon you had selected a little mom and pop, hole in the way a couple miles away that had never failed you before.

After placing the order you suggested Harry get into something more comfortable and then get settled in.

“Sorry, I don’t have any space for your toiletries.” You mumbled, “But you’re more than welcome to put your clothes in a drawer! The one of the top right should be empty.”

“It’s fine. As long as you don’t mind the bag staying up here. If not I’ll just keep it in my soot case.” He said with the Baron Trump meme accent. You looked to him and burst into laughter at this.

“I’m dead! I love that video!” You cackled.

“It’s funny!” He laughed along, “One of my students showed it to me…s’been stuck in my head ever since.” He explained with a smile.

“It is a gem…well, I don’t mind you having your things out for easier access!” You assured him.

“I’m tidy. I promise.” He chuckled and you rolled your eyes playfully. “Tell me what your pet peeves are in a shared space, so that I can avoid them.” Harry requested.

“Ummm…just don’t be gross. Ash used to do this ridiculous thing where he’d leave his dirty laundry beside the hamper…” You recalled and Harry chuckled, “That pissed me off. Like it’s right there!” You expressed.

“Yeah, that’s stupid.” He chuckled.

“Or leave his towel on the ground, like he was in a fucking hotel.”

“Oh god…” Harry grimaced, “The smell…”

“Yeah! Mildewy and ugh…thinking of it is giving me the ick.” You frowned. “One time he did not unpack it from the gym and-”

“I know where it’s going, you don’t need to tell me.” He said and you giggled.

“I discovered it, so I have to tell you.”

“Fine. Go on.”

“It grew mold. The whole bag! And who discovered it in the garage?”

“Not Ash!”

“Exactly! And it was so humid that week…God, that was horrifying. Then he had the gall to be pissed at me for throwing away his Alo gym bag…ridiculous.” You huffed.

“If he cared so much about it why did he leave it in that state? What a prick.” He said and you nodded in agreement.

“Exactly what I said…he probably left it in his trunk, encountered the smell and just left it in the garage for me to find and wash.” you rolled your eyes. “And like, he wasn’t like nasty apart from those things. Like, you could tell his mom would do those things for him and his brothers.” You explained and he nodded. “What about you?” You asked.

“Ummm… well growing up my house was very neat until my mom met that prick of a man and then it was pretty unkept. I did a lot of the cleaning up so uh…I guess just clutter and dishes in the sink. That invites ants and cockroaches, which I detest. And well, one time I was going to treat myself to some biscuits and was met with a mouse in the packet so uh… yeah, I’m a little bit of a clean freak.” He explained. You could see that when he talked about these things he got a distant look in his eyes. Like he had to remind himself that, that wasn’t his life anymore. “Also, no eating in bed.” He added, “Because that is literally inviting bugs.” He explained and you nodded.

“Noted. Though I must admit, I have eaten in bed…specially when I’ve gotten sick and no one’s around to look after me.”

“Well you’ve got me now so…no need for that.” He said and you smiled.

“Yeah.” You hummed. “But being in the valley, there are just critters around so it is important to keep things extra clean. I haven’t had any encounters, thankfully! I’m very averse to them.” You explained.

“Yeah, they’re gross.” He agreed.

“Anything else?” You asked.

“Oh! Getting on the bed in outside clothes.”

“Okay, yes!” You agreed, “There are “safe” spaces for me though, I don’t know about you? But like if I visit my parents or friends that don’t have pets, I wouldn’t mind a quick sit on my bed, not gonna roll around in it either…” you said and he chuckled, “But that’s not as gross as if I had gone out to a restaurant or the movies, for example.”

“Well, wouldn’t your car seats have all the germs from everywhere else? So when you sit in the car that gets on your clothes, even if you were in a safe space…” you pouted after he explained.

“Oh god…we could be laying in filth right now…” you said with feigned concern.

“When did you last wash your comforter?” He asked, you knew he was trying to come off pretend-horrified but his eyes said otherwise.

“I’m messing with you! Literally over the weekend. I promise!” You laughed as he looked at you skeptically.

“Pinky promise?”

“Yeah!” You said as you extended your pinky out to him and he wrapped his around yours.

“If I get pink eye, we know what happened here.” He joked and you rolled your eyes at his dramatics as he sniggered. He then interlaced his fingers with yours and just held your hand in his. You could see that there was a lot going on in his mind and you wanted to help however you could.

“Is there anything you want to talk about?” You asked him tentatively.

“Tons! But ummm…time and place.” He said as he glanced down at your hands. You squeezed his hand and he glanced up at you.

“Tell me.” You insisted and he sighed.

“Just that…when your sister leaves, for good, I was thinking about how long I’d have to be alone in that house. Like…I saved up a lot for that with the hopes of having a life and a family there, you know?” You nodded in understanding. “I don’t know if I could be there as comfortably if I were alone. I’d hate to sell it but…what would be the point in keeping it?” He asked and you hummed. “And you really don’t have to say anything about it, I just…am a little nervous to be all alone again. And like, I know that I wouldn’t be totally alone, but in a way I haven’t been in a decade you know?”

“Yeah, I get that.” You assured him.

“Like things would be missing that have been there since we moved in together…half of the things would be gone…and well, I couldn’t very well ask or expect you to be able to visit as often as I’d probably like…” he added.

“I get it. It’s scary.” You said and he nodded.

“How’d you do it?” He asked and you smiled.

“Well, I’m in the middle of that and well, I am depressed!” You chuckled and he smiled, “So…still learning how to cope, I guess. This, with us? It’s helped. I don’t feel so alone anymore.” You explained.

“Good.” He hummed.

“Yeah, so if you… need me to go out there and hang out you can ask. Whatever the reason in your brain is that’s holding you back from asking me for reciprocity? It’s wrong. If being there and enjoying the home you worked so hard for is important to you, then it’s important to me too.” You assured him with a sincerity that he hadn’t seen from anyone in years and you saw his lips turn up a bit.

Harry just felt this sudden rush of warmth overcome him. He definitely wanted you over more, he just felt a little bad about it right now while things were still up in the air. He wanted to live there forever, he hadn’t committed to buying a home thinking that he would one day grow sick of it. It was heaven on earth to him. He could step out onto his balcony and see the ocean from it! Of course he had made compromises along the way to accommodate Julie like in decor, in paints, upgrades…but he still loved the house. And to know that you’d be willing to make the drive out and spend time with him there simply because he loved it and was comfortable there, well, that was almost more than he could ever ask for. So he was really glad that you had offered it.

“I’d actually really like that.” He finally said and you smiled.

“Okay. Then we’ll make it happen.” You assured him and he smiled and let go of your hand but only because he was pressing himself up to kiss you again. And as your new normal seemed to be, you got lost in it until the delivery person’s call was interrupting you.

You had initially been concerned that maybe you’d pushed him too far or said too much but by the way he was acting now, it seems you had said the correct thing. Harry was a protector, he always had been that way. He was very concerned for your sister, for you, your family… it was never in a way that made you feel incapable, but he just liked to show you all that he would take care of you all if shit hit the fan. You knew that it had been hard for him not to be able to do that for you in the last year, even when he was going through his own stuff. So now, you wanted to allow him to make up for lost time and as you had said, you wanted to reciprocate the way he made you feel and were glad that he felt like you were.

“M’afraid you’re not gonna get a turn, love…” Harry practically slurred with his cheek smushed up against your stomach. You were currently laid on the couch, longways of course, and had put on “Miss Congeniality”. But you had agreed to give each other massages. However, Harry had elected for you to massage his head and it was putting him to sleep.

You giggled, but kept on going. “S’alright.” You responded softly. You could feel him growing heavier against you. “Maybe we should move to the bed though. Don’t want you to have a rough night.” You explained.

“In a minute.” He mumbled.

“Okay.” You agreed.

Soon enough you’d made it to your bed and as soon as you got under the covers he was reaching for you and pulling you against him. You smiled as you snuggled in against him. You felt him kiss your shoulder before he exhaled and you knew it would be so easy to fall asleep tonight.

*************

When you woke up the next morning it wasn’t because of your alarm, it was just a force of habit. But you were shivering from the cold and were pleased that it was apparently raining. You could heard the soft patter against your bedroom window. And then, you heard Harry humming along to John Mayer just a few feet away in the kitchen. Despite wanting to stay tucked away in the warmth of your bed, you got up and hurried into the bathroom to relieve yourself and freshen up a little bit. When you emerged, Harry was back in bed, topless and smiling at you.

“Morning.”

“Good morning.” You smiled.

“You were snoring.”

“I was not…” you mumbled bashfully as you headed back over to the bed.

“You were! But not like, loud or scary, it was just soft.” He described with a grin. “It was cute! Like a cartoon.” He assured you and you rolled your eyes as you got back in bed. “I just put on some coffee.”

“Thanks.” You hummed as you turned on your side to face him.

“Course.”

“Now, c’mere, please. It’s cold.” You requested and he smiled and hurried over into your side.

“What do you wanna do today?” He asked.

“Be lazy.” You said and he chuckled. “I do have a client to cook for tomorrow, s’just dinner prep, so I should be back around 6-6:30 the latest.”

“Would you be up to doing something after?” He asked.

“Yeah!” You hummed.

“Something lowkey, yeah?”

“Yeah, that sounds good.” You confirmed.

“Perfect. Now, I’m gonna kiss you.” He mumbled.

He moved closer and leaned in until your lips were meeting slowly but still eager and saturated with passion. Your hand landed on his chest and slid over his shoulder, tugging him into you, inviting him to settle over you. Your legs tangled momentarily as he started to straddle you. He was holding your jaw as your kiss deepened even further. His hands were sliding up your body, dragging your top up as he went. You sat up to help him pull it off and as soon as he was able, he was back on you, his lips littering your chest in kisses and delicate but playful nicks to your breasts. Your fingers combed through his hair, relishing in the sensations he was giving you. You were absolutely desperate for him and your skin was tingling, you were desperate to feel the warmth of his hands over your arms. You wanted to kiss him again and so you tried to tug him up and he quickly got the hint and kissed up your chest, neck, and jaw before kissing you sloppily. You ground up against him to feel the bulge in his thin pajama pants against you. He grinned and ground down against you with more intent.

“Is that what you want?” He asked and you blinked up at him.

“More.” You whispered and his gaze softened.

“You sure?” He asked you and you nodded.

“Yes. Please.” You beseeched and Harry smiled before kissing you once more. In moments, he was helping you undress. You were both moving impatiently and albeit a little clumsily, but you were absolutely desperate for each other. And as his naked body hovered over yours you finally felt a little bit better. Relieved. “Please get inside me.”

“Okay.” He hummed and kissed your lips once more, “Didn’t think to bring condoms. D-do you have some?” He asked and you huffed.

“No.” You muttered in slight irritation. You hadn’t planned to ask him to have sex with you, if you had, you would have stocked up, just in case.

“Would you care if we didn’t use one?” He asked and you bit your lip pensively. “Obviously, we don’t have to if you’re not comfortable with it. And well, I can go buy some really quick and give you some time t-to really think about if you really want to do this. You know, in case you maybe have s-some doubt?” He asked.

“I don’t have any doubts.” You assured him with a smile, “D-do you?” You asked and he shook his head, his little smirk mirroring your own.

“No. I can go get the condoms.” He said again and you bit your lip for a second.

“Ummm…that’s alright.” You assured him and as happy as he was to hear you say that, he gave it a few seconds to let you change your mind.

“Sure?” He asked again and you nodded.

“I’m so fucking sure.” You whispered through a nervous chuckle and he smiled and kissed you again.

“I’ll be mindful to pull out, okay?” He mumbled into your lips.

“Yeah.” You agreed as you raised your leg over his hips to give him space to get inside of you. You could feel the heat and weight of his cock pressed up against you. “I want you so bad.” You whispered.

“I do too, baby.” He hummed as he ground down, letting his cock settle between the sticky and swollen folds of your pussy. You shivered when his tip kissed at your clit with his soft thrusts. “Right there?” He asked and you nodded frantically.

“Yeah, that feels good.” You confirmed breathily and he smiled as his eyes bore into yours.

“Go on then, get what you need.” He hummed lowly and you wasted no time in grinding along with him at your desired pace. You whined lowly as you started to feel the pleasure escalating from the friction. Just when you were getting close you stopped yourself.

“Want to stop?” He asked you, looking into your eyes to ensure everything was okay.

“No, but I don’t want to come like that.” You explained a bit bashfully.

“Oh…I see.” He hummed with a smirk on his face that made you blush. “Get me inside then.” You smiled and reached down between your bodies. You grabbed a hold of his cock, he was so fucking hard. You raised your hips a bit as you guided him down to your entrance and when you felt that slight dip you rubbed him over your slit a few times. Your eyes flickered up to his only to see his brows furrowed together at the feeling of being just on the edge of slipping inside of you.

“Do it.” You whispered and he let his weight drop down to his hips and just like that he was being swallowed up by your hot and wet muscle. The two of you moaned in unison when he sunk in all the way and collided with your back wall. He held inside for a few second before groaning as he drew back and sunk in again. You exhaled shakily and grabbed his face to kiss him deeply. “Harder.” You said and he nodded before fucking into you with more force and that was absolutely what you were after. You moaned in relief and he kissed you deeply again.

“Good?” He asked.

“Yeah, it feels so good!” You whined and he hummed in satisfaction.

You were already so close, but you wanted to be closer, as close as was physically possible. You wanted to feel overwhelmed by him in the best way possible. And when he delivered his next thrust harder than before you couldn’t help the moan that fell from your mouth. Harry groaned and went again and again, relishing in the satisfied, little grunts you were making. You were absolutely drenching his cock but you couldn’t help it because he was thrusting up against the most sensational spot inside of you. It was almost too deep for you but you welcomed the feeling, you wanted to feel the ache after he was gone in a few days. And it’s almost like he could read your mind as he thrust in and held himself inside of you, grinding into you, watching as your eyes squeezed shut and you shuddered at the sensation of him fucking you that deep.

“Fuck y’feel so good!” You whimpered as you squeezed your legs around his hips and he grinned as he watched your brows pinching together.

“Not as good as you feel, baby.” He hummed lowly, “So fucking wet and hot…” he grumbled, “Shit…gonna need you so fucking badly. All the time. Gonna be dreaming of how nice it feels.” He muttered against the column of your throat.

You were completely covered in goosebumps, you were trying to stop your legs from trembling but you wouldn’t be able to hold that off for much longer. It just felt too fucking good…he was hitting a part inside of you that even had your clit tingling, if you rubbed on it, it would truly be too much. As badly as you wanted and needed to come, you wanted him to keep fucking you. For him to be your first fuck after all this time, it was well worth it. You could hear the wet squelches of your arousal slicking up his cock and helping him fit inside of you. His girth and length were to die for and absolutely addictive.

“Fuck, you’re gonna make me come!” you warned him and he grinned down at you, very pleased with himself for how fucked out he had you already.

“Already?” He gloated slightly and you smiled and nodded. Your vision was even blurry at this point as tears of ecstasy and joy welled up in your eyes. “You’re already so fucking gone f’me, S’gonna wipe you out.” He said smugly and you hummed with a slight smile.

He was right, this orgasm would absolutely ruin you and melt your brain. He was literally fucking you better, quite literally forcing your brain to flood your body with that deliciously and slightly terrifying cocktail of oxytocin and dopamine. You swore your skin was tingling, every single cell in your body was going to contribute to this orgasm. But the longer you held off the more intense everything felt. Your walls were throbbing uncontrollably and you were trying so hard to just hold off for a second to make it last longer but it made it worse, as you squeezed the deep plunges of his cock became even more pleasurable and your legs started to tremble and your breathing to shallow.

“Come on, baby. Give it t’me.” He encouraged you and you nodded before pulling him down to kiss you and as your lips met urgently in a messy kiss you started to come. You emitted these pathetic whines and whimpers you’d never ever made before as the ecstasy took over every single part of your body. You were trying not too make too much noise but you were on fire and it had never felt like that before, it was almost too much! Harry’s lips parted from yours so that you could breathe and properly release your sounds as your hips ground up into his to keep the pleasure going. One of your hands pressed down on his butt, holding him close to you and the other was tangled in the curls at the back of his head. He groaned as you squeezed hard around his cock. Your tight, hot muscles were suffocating and contracting around his girth, he nearly fucking drooled from how delicious it felt to be buried in you like this. “M’gonna come.” He panted.

“Come inside of me.” You slurred and he moaned at the mere idea of getting to flood your hot, little pussy with his sperm. He got goosebumps as he thought about how good it would feel to have you take it all. To pull out and see it dripping from your swollen and wrecked little hole only for him to push his cock back into you and get his load back into you. “Please, come in my pussy.”

“Fuck, baby…” he chuckled as he pressed his forehead to yours, “I’m gonna come so hard.” He panted, “Gonna drown your little pussy.” He mumbled as his abs started to clench and his toes to curl. And moments later he was grunting through three hard and pointed thrusts before stilling. He pressed right up against you and moaned deeply in satisfaction as he came undone. He felt his muscles spasming, struggling to hold his weight as he started to gush inside of you. You could feel the dramatic twitches of his cock lodged up deep inside of you as he filled you up, just as he promised and it was so good, his hips were moving by his own accord at this point and he was enslaved to the feeling of being inside of you, no matter how sensitive it was starting to feel for him. “Fuck…” he panted lowly.

You could feel his arms trembling and just hugged him tight, encouraging him to drop his weight over you and he did easily. Your fingers danced and tickled over the heated and slightly damp skin of his back as he came down from it. You were finding comfort in his deep inhales as he continued trying to catch his breath. After a few more moments of this he was still completely silent. You knew there was nothing wrong because he was practically melted against your body, and you smiled and kissed the top of his head as he started to sponged a few sloppy kisses along your jaw. With the little strength he had built up again, he pulled you both onto your sides. He slipped from you with the change in position but you draped your leg over his hip and his hand immediately ran up your leg soothingly while he rested his head over his other arm. You were smiling as you just watched him, he still had his eyes closed as he regulated his breathing.

“You alright there?” You inquired, your voice was a whisper but he could hear the slight hint of smugness in it.

“Just a little light headed.” He chuckled his confession and you giggled and reached for his face. You caressed the side of his face lovingly with the backs of your fingers.

“Want me t’get you some water?” You asked.

“No, stay here with me.” He responded and you smiled.

“‘Kay.” You whispered. You just watched him for a few seconds until he slowly blinked his eyes open. You smiled as he squinted a bit.

“Jesus, I’m seeing spots.” He laughed lowly through his admission and you started to giggle along with him. “Don’t laugh at me.” He griped and you leaned forward and smooched over his pouted lips.

“M’not. I’m laughing with you.” You mumbled against his mouth and he quickly kissed your lips back.

“Sure…” he hummed and finally opened his eyes and met your adoring gaze.

“We’re going again later, right?” You asked and he laughed for a moment before kissing you again and nodding.

“Oh absolutely. I might not be able to walk but it’ll be worth it.” He mumbled into your kiss-swollen lips.

“God…but good.” You giggled, completely satisfied with his response.

“I don’t think I’ll ever get enough of you.” He whispered and you glanced away bashfully and instead focused on the swallow tattooed over his left pectoral.

“Neither do I.” You admitted and he smiled as you leaned closer and buried your face into the crook of his neck and took a deep inhale before placing a kiss at the base of his throat.

There was only one thought at the forefront of his mind right now and it was that there was absolutely no world in which this didn’t end with him falling absolutely and hopelessly in love with you. He loved everything about you and what he’d seen of your life so far, he couldn’t wait to experience it for the rest of the days he’d be here with you.

Several Days Later…

You didn’t want to verbalize just how perfect the last several days had been with Harry in case you were to jinx it, but you were certainly thinking about it with each passing minute. You had clients that day so you had to leave Harry at your place for but it was so lovely to return to a clean home and a meal. As soon as you walked in you could smell the lingering fresh scent of cleaning products but were mostly overpowered by what you were kind of hoping was a bolognese sauce. Thankfully, you were able to make off from your last client with a little extra dessert, so you had something to contribute for tonight.

“Smell’s amazing!” You announced your arrival as you slipped out of your shoes.

Harry didn’t respond so you figured he was in the shower or something. And as you walked further in you saw that the table was set and two long stick candles were lit, giving the setting a more intimate feel. You bit your lip to hold back your excitement. It was your last night together, so you weren’t surprised that Harry was pulling out all the stops until the next time you got to be together. You headed towards your bedroom to change into a fresh and more comfortable outfit and when you stepped inside you saw Harry just standing at the window and glancing out towards the busy street below.

“Harry?” You called in question and he sniffled and turned around.

“Sorry, I was trying to collect myself-”

“What happened? What’s wrong?” You asked quickly as you let your purse drop to the floor and rushed over to him.

“Your mom called,” he said and you immediately though the worst, your heart dropped, “Julie told them that she’s pregnant.” He said and you stopped right before you reached him. Not as terrifying as you thought but still incredibly fucking awful. Your features furrowed in disappointment and your stomach turned as the information processed. Harry hurried over to you, “Baby, it’s not me. It couldn’t be, we haven’t slept together since like August!” He explained and you nodded and let him take your hands. “But they don’t know that.”

“Ask for a paternity test.” You said right away.

“I will.” He assured you. “I guess she said she wasn’t feeling well so your mom drove her to the urgent care and they found out. Your mom called me all excited about it… I just don’t want to humiliate her.” He explained.

“And that’s very noble and considerate of you, Harry. But you do realize that she’s trying to put you in an impossible position.” You said and he frowned. “You deserve to do this. To have a family on your own terms, Harry.” You said and he nodded.

“I-I don’t even know what to do about this.” He stammered, still in shock.

“This is going to sound awful but…tell your lawyer.” You said and he sighed. “She’s willing to force you into this situation when you had nothing to do with it. If she has to prove paternity she will have to be honest. She loves Joey and she did this with him, they need to figure this out together.”

“You’re right.” He conceded. “Ummm… I’m not feeling too hungry any more. I’m sorry.” He said and glanced down at the floor.

“That’s alright. I understand.” You assured him. “I also understand if you…need some space.” You said and he glanced into your eyes again.

“Yeah… I ummm…I should go.” He said and you nodded, “They’re expecting me to look after her since she isn’t feeling well. And the drive’ll help, I think.” He muttered, but he was quite absent.

“Okay.” You said softly and he just walked around you and into your closet to grab his suitcase. You just watched silently as he robotically and haphazardly just dumped his things into the luggage before shutting it and wheeling it out. You followed after him as he headed to the entrance and slipped into his sneakers.

“Harry.” You said and he glanced up at you. You could see his eyes welled up with tears. “Please be safe.” You said and he nodded before rushing out. As soon as the door shut your own tears started to trickle down your face.

You were relieved when he texted you that he’d gotten home and assured him that if he needed to talk at all that you’d be there for him. But you felt so angry at your sister for this one. How could she do this to him? It was awful and selfish behavior. You wanted to call her but this wasn’t your battle to fight.

Harry’s POV:

Harry felt completely blindsided by Isabel’s phone call about Julie. He felt sick to his stomach as he parked in the garage because Isabel was still at their house, her car was up front and he had no idea how he would swallow down all that devastation and dread he was feeling. He didn’t want to ruin Isabel’s excitement but pretending that he was happy about this…having to hold and kiss Julie, congratulate her for something he had nothing to do with, it made him sick to his stomach. He texted you to let you know that he’d made it safely and you immediately loved his message and with that he made it inside.

“Oh good! You’re home!” Isabel greeted him excitedly as soon as Harry made it inside from the garage. He put on a smile and nodded, approaching her to greet her.

“Yeah, sorry it took me a while. I was out in LA.” He explained.

“No problem, as long as you made it safe!” She said as she opened her arms and he ducked down a bit to hug her and kiss her cheek. “Congrats, mijo.” She hummed happily as she gave him a firm squeeze.

“Thank you.” He responded as they pulled away slowly.

“I’m just making her some ginger tea, she’s been very nauseous.” Isabel explained.

“Thank you, I’m gonna go see her now.”

“Yes, please!” She insisted, beaming from ear to ear and he smiled and made his way out of the kitchen.

Every step he took up towards the bedroom made him even more sick to his stomach. He hoped there was extra of that ginger tea because this was getting to be too much. When he made it to the top landing he saw the bedroom door open and he made his way over to see Julie scrolling through her phone.

“Hey.” She greeted him solemnly.

“Hi.” He said quite cooly.

“Look-”

“What the fuck is the matter with you?” He cut her off and she frowned.

“Not while my mom is here, Harry.” She sighed.

“No. We’re doing this right now.” He insisted as he pushed the door back leaving it slightly ajar.

“Then close it all the way.” She said.

“Then we won’t hear her coming. I won’t raise my voice if you don’t.” He said and she sighed. “There is no way you didn’t know.” He insisted, “When did you find out?”

“On Monday.” She said, “I missed my period last week and I took two tests on Monday. One positive and the other inconclusive. Sometimes it can be stress or other things that impact so I figured I should go and find out.”

“And you had to take your mom to do that?”

“I was scared!” She defended herself.

“Then you should’ve asked Joe.” He retorted.

“I didn’t want him to freak out!”

“But you’re okay with your mom thinking that I got you pregnant?!” He asked angrily and her eyes started welling up. “You have to tell your parents now, Julie.” He said.

“Harry, please-”

“No! I’m not going to take responsibility for this!”

“And what if he leaves me?” She asked and Harry’s eyes softened for a moment.

“I-I don’t know but you have been cheating on me for months! We haven’t slept together since last year! This has nothing to do with me, Julie!” He was trying not to raise his voice but he was so hurt and angry at her. “You don’t love me and I know for a fact you don’t want this with me.” Harry finished and she started to sniffle as her tears fell. “You have to tell your family the truth!” He urged.

“Do you know how humiliating that will be!?”

“If you had agreed to the divorce when I brought it up not as much as it might be now! If you don’t come clean to your parents about this I will involve my lawyer and demand a paternity test! And we both know what the result will be.”

“I need more time.” She said softly.

“You have until the end of the month.”

“Harry-”

“You tell them or I do.” He said sternly.

Isabel’s POV:

She hadn’t meant to eaves drop, she just wanted to come ask Julie if she would want some toast with her tea to settle her stomach when she heard the hushed argument.

“Harry, please-”

“No! I’m not going to take responsibility for this!” She heard Harry respond. She almost intervened when she heard this, feeling so much anger rising up in her at the sound of her son-in-law being so disinterested and cold after finding out he would be a father!

“And what if he leaves me?” Julie asked and she stopped from reaching for the door. She was momentarily frozen in shock as she processed Julie’s concern.

“I-I don’t know but you have been cheating on me for months! We haven’t slept together since last year! This has nothing to do with me, Julie!”

Isabel could hear it in his voice that he felt bad but if this was not his child, he truly had no obligation to her. Especially if she had been having an affair for who knows how long.

“You don’t love me and I know for a fact you don’t want this with me.” Harry added. “You have to tell your family the truth!”

“Do you know how humiliating that will be!?” Julie cried quietly and Isabel frowned and started to back away, hearing faintly about previous discussions of a divorce. This was very private and she had heard more than she probably should have.

She was completely taken by surprise and immediately felt so bad for Harry and the situation that she had unintentionally put him in. She could only imagine how devastated he felt knowing that his wife was pregnant with another man’s child. A man that might not even stick around to help her or support her with this. Obviously she would always love her daughter, but it didn’t mean that she would always support her choices and this choice…to have an extramarital affair. To not grant Harry the divorce he had seemingly asked for before when she didn’t even love him anymore. The gall to ask him to stick around if the other man didn’t… it did not sit well with her and made her feel so frustrated at her. She hoped that Julie would say something soon because there was no way she could keep quiet for too long. Harry had been so good to all of them and he did not deserve that.

FINAL PART...

---- TAG LIST ----

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3minsover · 11 months ago

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late night:early start

City commuter Steve has to get the first train at 5:30am, already suited and preened for the day even at the early hour. He ends up in the same carriage as a clearly tired, scruffy-looking guy who lays his guitar case down across two seats about three rows away from Steve before slumping into one himself, one that faces Steve.

Despite the guy’s bedraggled appearance, and the smudges of eyeliner that are still clinging to his waterline, Steve is entranced. He can’t help but follow the long line of the guy’s arms under the sleeves of his jacket, down to the flex and curl of his fingers as they drum out a rhythm on the little table in front of him. The man seems to sense Steve’s curious eyes on him and glances up, meeting Steve’s gaze with wide, bleary brown eyes and a half-smile. He scratches at the skin behind his ear, just beneath where a mess of curls is twisted into a lazy bun.

“Late night?” Steve finds himself asking unprompted. He’s not one to talk to strangers, but there’s something compelling, intriguing about the inked etchings peaking out of the guy’s sleeve cuffs, the silver stud in his nose, the heavy boots at the end of long, stretched out legs. He’s so very different from the crisp and fresh-pressed suits at the firm, and even though it isn’t even 6am yet, Steve suddenly feels wide awake.

“Uh, yeah,” the guy answers sheepishly, his voice rough with evident disuse - or overuse. perhaps both. “Would you believe I missed the last train yesterday night?”

“Ah, trains are tricky like that. You don’t live around here then?” It’s a presumptuous question, but one that Steve’s instincts tell him to ask.

“I look like that much of a city rat, huh?” The man chuckles, and Steve’s heartbeat ticks up.

“Hah- You don’t- You don’t look like a lot of the people I see around town, is all I’m saying. and that’s not a bad thing, if I’m being totally honest.” Steve can feel his cheeks heating, and for a moment the rumble of the train is the only sound.

“Okay, good. I’ll take that,” the guy says, brows pinching a little. “You uh, you goin’ into the city then I'm guessing?”

“Yeah, it’s a shitty gig having to come all this way, but at least I haven’t had to sell my kidney to cover rent.”

“I don’t think they’d take my kidney if I offered,” the guy smiles, and Steve barks out a laugh that’s too loud for the empty carriage and the earliness. The guy shifts in his seat, and Steve instinctively leans forward, wanting really to move the few rows forward until he’s close enough to see the early morning light dance and glint in those big, dark eyes.

“That have anything to do with while you were stranded?” Steve asks, gesturing to the guitar case.

“Yup. got me in all kinds of trouble, she has. Gig finished late, couldn’t get a cab, welcome to hotel train-station-waiting-room.”

Steve manages to chuckle more softly this time, his gaze catching on the twitch of the guy’s lips as he stifles a yawn.

“Hey, if you wanted to- You could take a nap, I’ll watch your stuff. Make sure no one steals it, or whatever.”

The man blinks at him in surprise, lashes fluttering where his lids are heavy.

“That’d- Shit, that’d be awesome, man. Do you mind?”

“Not at all. Let me just-” And so Steve’s more daring thoughts win out. He plucks up his briefcase from the seat next to him and hurries the short distance to the cluster of seats on the opposite side of the aisle from his new charge. “There. Now I got a clear line of sight.”

“I’ve never felt safer,” the guy jokes, and pulls the hood of his sweatshirt up over his head, tucking his chin into his shoulder and crossing his arms over his chest.

“Oh, shit sorry, um. When should I wake you?”

“Whenever you’re getting off, big boy,” the guy shoots back without raising his head, and Steve can just about make out the curve of his lips and the dimple that sits in the corner of his cheek. He can feel his own cheeks warming at the guy’s words, and Steve’s glad there’s no one around to see. He lets himself watch this pretty stranger under the pretence that he’s keeping an eye on his guitar, and the hour and a half slides by almost unnoticed.

The carriage is a little busier but still quiet when Steve’s stop rolls around. The man hasn’t moved since he nodded off, and it almost breaks Steve’s heart to wake him. Carefully, Steve stands and leans down, wrapping his fingers around the man’s shoulder and shaking lightly.

“Hey, buddy, I gotta get off.”

The guy’s eyes blink open, wide and unfocused and so lovely, before they swivel up to meet Steve’s own. His chin tips upward and his lips curve in a smile, and something in Steve begs closer closer closer, but instead he just clears his throat and rights himself.

“Thank you, dude. Even that was way better than a wooden goddamn bench.” The guy bends his arms and stretches, and Steve doesn’t know what to do with himself.

“I’m- I’m steve, by the way,” he announces suddenly, making a step towards the carriage doors, despite how reluctant he is to move away from his stranger.

“Hey, Steve,” the guy replies, hauling himself upright - how coincidental that they’re off at the same, second-to-last stop. The train draws to a halt, and the guy stumbles forward just a fraction, still off-balance with new consciousness. Suddenly, they’re face to face. Or more they’re nose to chin, because this man has a good four inches on Steve. It’s all Steve can do not to lean up and kiss his pretty lips right here and now. “Name’s Eddie.”

And it feels right. It fits.

Steve doesn’t know how or why, but everything about this man fits; feels right.

“Good to meet you, Eddie,” Steve says, a little breathless. “Hey, if you’re ever down my way again, how about I give you a better place to sleep than a waiting room bench.” And Steve knows it’s a bit of a pretentious thing to do, but he slips a business card out of his wallet and tucks it into the breast pocket of Eddie’s jacket. He pats it once and pivots away, can’t bear the thought that he’s misread the electricity between them. He rushes through the doors and slips into the stream of morning bodies, leaving the perfect newness of his pretty stranger back in that carriage. but that evening, Steve’s phone buzzes with a text from an unsaved number.

It simply reads:

thanks again for being my lookout. if the offer’s still on the table, how about friday night?

#steddie #steddie au #steve harrington x eddie munson #originally posted on twitter #3minsover

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winchesterwild78 · 1 year ago

Text

Chance Meeting pt 5

Part 1, 2, 3, 4

18+ Minors DO NOT interact

This is my first ever fan fiction. I adore Jensen Ackles and have no hate towards his family. In this he’s single. I’m not sure exactly how to do this so any suggestions or feedback is appreciated. Please be kind and all mistakes are my own. All work is mine. Please don’t copy it.

Warnings: fluff, angst, smut, Jensen being a sweetheart

Chapter Warnings: implied teen pregnancy, Jensen being a sweetheart, plus sized reader body issues, Things continue to heat up

A/N: I’m working hard on making sure the chapters get done quickly. I don’t want to leave you hanging for too long. If you have any suggestions please let me know. Reader is older-not trying to alienate anyone, but I wanted the reader close to Jensen’s age and with children. This will make more sense in later chapters.

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As you opened your room door you looked at your phone. 6 missed calls from y/f/n and 10 texts. “Oh great, I forgot to call her back last night.” You immediately called her back and as soon as she answered the phone you quickly said “Oh my god, y/f/n I am so sorry I forgot to call you. I was incredibly busy and it slipped my mind.” “Well y/n it better have been a good reason. I’ve been worried sick.” She said. “Did you end up going to karaoke?” “Yes I did, and I sang a song with Jensen. His voice is even more beautiful in person.” “So, y/n tell me everything.” She said with excitement in her voice. You started at the beginning and you told her how it felt like a magnet was pulling you to him. You could hear her giggle as you continued telling her about everything. Well maybe not every single detail, but enough to make her squeal with delight. “So are y’all just fuck buddies or something else?” She said after you finished. “God, y/f/n crude much?!?” “I don’t know what we are right now. I just know when I’m with him I feel safe, loved and protected. I feel like I’ve known him for years. I can’t explain it. Trust me, once I know I’ll let you know.” You told her. After talking for a few minutes you told her you needed to get ready for the panels and photo ops. You both said your goodbyes with you promising to text or call her later.

You changed into your Radio Company t-shirt, grabbed your flannel and finished off your outfit with your comfy shoes. You fixed your hair into a messy bun and put on light makeup. One last look and you were headed out the door passes for the day in hand. The anticipation of the day gave you butterflies. You wondered how Jensen would act towards you and since Jared saw you how would he be towards you.

The first panel was with Jared, Jensen and Misha. You took your seat on the 2nd row on the far right. You were in the first seat and could see the stage clearly. The guys were introduced and took to the stage. Deafening applause and screams filled the room. They sat down on their chairs, of course Jared turned his around. You saw Jensen scanning the crowd looking for you. When he made eye contact with you he smiled. You smiled and bit your lip. He bit his bottom lip and licked his lips. Jared noticed and smiled, tipping his head to you. He leaned over to Misha and whispered something to him that caused him to look your direction and smile. He gave Jensen a playful slap on his arm with a big grin on his face. Jensen blushed a little. You thought he was absolutely adorable with slight pink cheeks.

The panel started with the guys talking and cracking jokes. The crowd was in the palm of their hands. These guys really love their fans and know how to really work the crowd. You hardly took your eyes off Jensen. He was breathtaking and so sweet answering questions about any and everything people asked him. You decided to jump in line to ask a question before Jensen turned back your way. He saw you weren’t in your seat and you saw his face fall a little. The next question came from the other side of the room so Jensen turned to listen and answer the question. Your turn was next. Your heart was racing and you had no idea what you were going to ask, so you decided to wing it.

You took the microphone and when Jensen saw you he started smiling. Jared and Misha both grinned. Jared said hello first followed by Misha and then Jensen. You said “hey guys! My name is y/n it’s really great to meet you three.” Jared said “hello y/n I’m Jared, that’s Misha and the goof down there is Jensen.” You giggle when Jensen whips his head around and said “oh I’m the goofy one?!?” Everyone started laughing. You looked at Jensen and said “um my question is for Jared” giving Jensen and smile a wink while Jared starts laughing and says go on. You ask him “Since he was Deans little brother, if he could pick the perfect girl for Dean what would her personality be and would it be similar to someone he would approve of for Jensen? Why or why not?” Jared said “Well y/n I’m glad you asked that question. Hmm the perfect girl for Dean would be very similar to the perfect girl for Jensen. They would have to be strong willed, loving, family oriented, could cook and put up with his moods .” “So let me ask you something, y/n. Are you a Sam girl or a Dean girl?” He asked you wiggling his eyebrows. Jensen spoke up and said “well obviously she’s a Dean girl because she wanted to know about his perfect girl.” He said smiling at you. “You looked between the both of them and smiled then said “Well, actually I’m a Cas girl.” Everyone erupted in laughter. Jared and Misha both jumped up to hug you. Jared grabbed you and pulled you into a hug and whispered “so glad to finally meet you officially.” Misha hugged you and said “I knew I was going to like you.” Jared jumped back on stage and said “best answer ever!” You thanked them and took your seat looking at Jensen and you’re both smirking at each other.

Before the end of the panel one of the staff members came over and tapped you on the shoulder. “Ma’am, Mr Ackles would like you to join them in the green room. If you could please follow me.” You grabbed your stuff and got up to follow her. She took you behind a curtain and into a room with seating, food and drinks. There was also a tv that showed the current panel. A few minutes later the panel was done and the guys were walking off the stage. The next thing you knew the door was opening with Jared, Jensen and Misha walking in. They all greeted you with hello’s and smiles. Jensen walked up to you and took you in his arms. He hugged you and backed away. You leaned in for a kiss and he said “oh I thought you were a Cas girl?” You playfully hit his chest and he softly kissed your lips. “Awwwww” Both Jared and Misha said at the same time. Jensen shot them a smirk and put his arm around you. You all sat around talking and getting to know each other. All the guys showed you recent pictures of their kids and they talked about how fast they were growing. You showed pictures of your kids and talked about how they have both grown up too fast. Your oldest is in their 20s and your youngest is almost 18. Everyone looked at you and said there was no way you had a kid in their 20s. You laughed and said “I started early.” Jensen sat staring at you and you were worried you just blew it with him. Yes he has kids, but they weren’t teenagers yet. You kinda held your breath until Jared and Misha got up to leave and told Jensen and you they would give y’all a few minutes alone before Jensen was due for his next thing.

When the door closed you looked at Jensen who was still staring at you. He whispered to you “I kinda like the idea of a MILF.” He growled in your ear and you were on each other like a couple of teenagers. You were panting and hands roaming over each other. Deep passionate kisses and Jensen leaving love bites down your neck. His lips were intoxicating and his touch was electric. You knew you couldn’t get too hot and heavy but damn did your body crave him. Between kissing and heavy petting you told him he needed to get ready for the next thing. You didn’t want him to be late. He kept kissing you and finally pulled himself away. “You know I just realized I don’t have your number.” Jensen said with a chuckle. You smiled and gave him your number then said “well I think we had more pressing things on our minds.” He texted you and you saved his number under “J” just in case someone saw your phone. You didn’t have a clue what this was between you two and you really didn’t know how to explain it yet. Keeping this between you two right now was the best decision for both of you. With one last kiss you both sighed and left the green room. He went to his photo ops and you went to get in line. You were looking forward to getting the pictures done and hopefully seeing Jensen later tonight.

Part 6 soon

#jensen ackles x plus size reader #chance meeting #supernatural convention #jensen ackles smut

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toaster-hair · 2 years ago

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There’s a Human in the Neighborhood! (chapter 5)

(important authors note: Hi nyall :3! Sorry i havent written in so long, ive been more hyperfixated on other things like across the spiderverse and lolita fashion, and i’ve also been working on other projects. I have a skullgirls au tumblr blog, my original comic raw!fruit, im redrawing the welcome homes cast’s portraits with my own headcanons added, as well as general oc content. But with welcome homes new update, it motivated me to write again. I feel as though when welcome home is finally finished up, ill rewrite this entire fic to make much more sense. Anyways, heres a content warning. As said before, this fic focuses on how gross human anatomy can confuse wholesome puppets. Its a bit hard to write about gross anatomy stuff without veering into nsfw territory, so suggestions would be appreciated. But this chapter in particular is about periods! The fic is written about a gender neutral AFAB reader, so if youre amab or if periods are just off the table for you, feel free to skip!)

A painful stab at your stomach woke you up from your slumber. “Ough..” your sudden movement spooked your cat. You held your torso in pain, feeling a sharpness in your pants. It was still dark, with the only light being the sun coming through your blinds. You stood up, making your way to the bathroom and….

Blood. Lots and lots of blood stained your undergarments. That explained the sudden pain you were feeling, it was just that time of the month! You went back to your bedroom to make sure you didn’t bleed the bed, grabbed some clean clothes, and turned the shower on. You also grabbed some pads out of the cabinet under the sink. You brought them from your old house but you should probably buy some more later.

You stepped into your shower and let the warm water soak your body head to toe, flourishing yourself with all kinds of soap. Once you were finally cleaned up, you stepped out and dried yourself. You put on your clean clothes, grabbed some pain killers, and went back to bed.

You woke up once again a few hours later. You got up, did your morning routine, had breakfast, fed your cat, and picked up the phone. You decided you would call in sick because of the pain and nausea. God, why does the first day have to be the most painful? You dialed the number for FishEgg Boba and waited for an answer.

“Helloo? This is FishEgg Bobaaa. How may I help youuu?” You heard Casper answer the phone.

“Hey Casper, It’s Y/N. Uhh.. I know it’s only my second day but I’m calling in sick. I’ve got… cramps real bad. I don’t wanna move that much. Is that okay?”

“Oooh. Sure that’s fiiine. Just make sure to come in tomorroww. See you thenn. Hope you feel better sooon.” And with that, he ended the call. You felt kind of bad. It was only your second day, and you were taking a break already. You were probably missing out on some training too! But at the same time, everyone made it seem like yesterday you were working too hard when you weren’t even on your period! You can’t imagine what it’ll be like to work like that while on your period.

You then remembered your plan to get more pads. You were good for now, but it was always a good idea to stock up. You put on some outdoor clothes consisting of some basic gym sweats and a baggy jacket. You gave your kitty a goodbye kiss on the forehead and headed out the door. Gee, this was the second time in a row that you went to Howdy’s.

Wait… Oh yeah they’re puppets. I forgot. I mean you forgot that they were puppets. Of course they won’t have pads. You went back inside and grabbed some money, looks like you were heading out of town after all. As you headed back out again, you spotted Wally walking out of his house as well. You walked over to him, sense you promised you would chat in the morning last night.

“Hey Wally! You wanted to talk more this morning, right?” you stared down at him.

“Oh! Yes! I wanted to know about how it went. Ah, but shouldn’t you be at work right now?” he asked.

“Oh, uh.. Yeah, the thing is that I’m uh, not feeling very well. So I’m taking the day off. I’m going back tomorrow though.”

“Ah, I see. You aren’t sick again, are you? Do you want me to go get Poppy?” He held at your knees like a dog jumping on its owner.

“No, no. Not sick, it's just.. I may gross you out at the explanation?” You gestured with your hands “Is that okay?” You asked. He stared at you with a blank expression but nodded his head.

“Okay so basically uh.. When a human with a womb starts puberty.. Uh, and a womb is used for baby making purposes by the by, their womb starts to shed for a couple of days straight each month. That’s because the womb wants to make a baby but doesn’t have the ingredients to make one, causing the womb to pump out blood. This can cause pain, nausea, all that nasty stuff. That’s just a basic explanation, anyways.” He kind of just. Stared at you with half lidded eyes the entire time. “Uh, I don’t need to explain what blood is right?”

“Oh no, we have that too.”

…

What.

“W-wait, if you’re bleeding.. Then.. did you just start puberty??” There was this look of anxiety on his face, which felt so odd and out of character.

“No, no, you still bleed even after puberty. Well, that is until you hit your 60’s or something. It’s not gonna go away for a while.. Haha, if I was still that young, I wouldn’t even be here!” You laughed at him a bit. He let out a sigh of relief.

“Sorry.. I don’t know much about how human bodies work…” He looked away out of embarrassment.

“Oh, I can show you.” You reassured him. “Ah- What??” He stared at you slightly horrified, slightly considering your offer.

“Yeah dude, there’s a ton of books about human anatomy. Going from the bone to the skin. I can order you one online! If you want, of course.” You pulled out your phone and showed him various different anatomy books.

“Oh… No thanks, I'm fine.” He turned down your offer in a slightly disappointed tone.

“That’s fine. I need to go out of town for a bit to go get something, see you later!” You waved goodbye as you started to walk to the train station. You then suddenly felt a sharp pain in your stomach, but you kept on walking.

You couldn’t see him, but you knew he was waving goodbye right back at you.

(A/N: i wrote this in one night i hope you enjoy!! Ill try to include sally and julie in the next chapter :3333)

#welcome home #welcome home fanfic #wally darling #wally darling x reader #y/n #gross #periods #menstration #x reader #toaster-hair #should this fic be abbreviated to THN or TAHITN

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justkending · 2 years ago

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Finding Memories. Chapter 16.

Series Summary: Waking up with little to no memory of her past, and being saved by a group of individuals who call themselves heroes, sends a long time captive for a whirlwind trying to find some form of grounding in this world she quickly learns runs on chaos. But she’s not the only one trying to figure out her forgotten backstory. Bucky Barnes, along with the other Avengers, can’t help but sense that there is a lot more to the whole situation than a diagnosis of amnesia. Her background slowly starts to come forward in pieces of her past and hidden information discovered. Who is she? And why was she in the room they were meant to destroy?

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Enhanced Reader

Word Count: 3600+

A/N: First off, I know I’ve already said this MULTIPLE TIMES, but I truly mean it when I say I appreciate that you all are patient with this story. Both in when each chapter is released and with the slow burn it has to it. I know for some it’s hard for people to stick to it, but I really wanted to create a story with depth, connection, and details that bring it to life! So for those following and making impressions on the chapters as they come out, BIG KISSES TO YOU ALL!! To those that have fell off the bandwagon, I’m not judging a bit. I hope you come back when it’s all wrapped up and completed. LOVE YOU!!!

TW: Torture, cussing, gore, PTSD, triggers.

Chapter 16:

When they got upstairs, Bruce was able to miraculously convince her to follow through with the checkup.

After Bucky retrieved the medical bag from the kitchen and brought it back to his room where Y/N was sitting on the bed, his phone wouldn’t stop going off.

“Take it, Barnes,” Bruce waved him off. “They won’t stop until you do.”

He was right. It was mainly Tony that was calling him on repeat and he was known for how relentless he could be.

“I’ll just be outside,” Bucky pointed back toward the door. He looked to Y/N double checking she was fine, but she seemed to be taking in the quiet environment while she waited for Bruce to get to work.

He quietly walked out, a part of him feeling like he somehow had taken 10 steps backward with her.

“You know when someone hangs up on you 5 times in a row, it usually means they can’t talk,” Bucky rolled his eyes, placing a hand on his hip and the other holding the phone to his cheek.

“Or they don’t want to talk,” Tony spit back. “And in this case, that’s not an option.”

“Get to it, Stark,” he gritted through his teeth, turning on his feet as he was high alert in the hall.

“We need a report from you. Not just an in-passing comment on what all happened,” Tony continued. “I need you back in the lab to figure out what I’m dealing with.”

“I’m trying to get Y/N settled. She kind of had a,” he paused looking at the door and stepping away a little further. “Everything finally caught up to her and she had an upsetting interaction with the nurse.”

“Upsetting like she was on the brink of hurting someone?” Tony had to ask.

“No,” Buckys said sternly.

At the single and final answer, Tony knew it was best to not question further.

“Either way, get back down here. We have things to discuss.”

Before he could argue back, the line ended and he saw the call-ended screen come up when he pulled it away.

“Typical,” he sighed annoyed.

Coming back inside quietly, Bruce sat in a chair across from Y/N where she was sitting crisscrossed on the edge of the bed as he talked to her.

“No, I understand,” Bruce nodded. “But we are going to figure out it all out, and in no time, you’ll be in control of it all.”

Bucky could deduct what they were talking about and he was glad she and Bruce had also grown close in her time here. Having to do bloodwork and check-ins often with him made it easy to build a relationship with the scientist.

The two turned to his entrance and he gave an awkward tight smile.

“Sorry, but Tony just called and needs me back downstairs,” he walked in slowly. “Didn’t really give me a chance to decline.”

“Sounds about right,” Bruce chuckled. “Well we have some things to break down, so I can stay here until you get back.”

“Are you sure?” Bucky asked.

He looked to Y/N who was looking down at her hands and avoiding any form of acknowledging him. He felt bad about making her feel like a child that needed babysitting, but given what had just happened on their walk, he wasn’t leaving her alone anytime soon.

He understood that there was a chance of her getting annoyed with him babying her, but he was protective in nature and that wasn’t leaving anytime soon.

“We’ll be fine,” he waved off. “Go before Tony sends an army for you.”

“I’ll be quick,” Bucky assured, moving back to the door. He looked at Y/N one more time, still not getting anything out of her, and he sighed turning to Bruce who noticed it too. “I’ll be back in less than an hour, promise.”

______________________

Once downstairs, Bucky barged into the room just outside the holding space. Tony was instructing some lower-level agent about something on a tablet, but it was hard to miss the Sargeant’s dramatic entrance.

“Jeez,” Tony huffed. “Maybe next time don’t make it to where I have to replace the doors.”

Bucky never snapped back, but his look showed he wasn’t in the mood, like always, to banter with him.

“Whatever. This way,” he waved him to the side and they got to business.

About 30 minutes later when everything he needed from Bucky was taken care of, Bucky was prompt to turn on his heel and head back out.

“One more question,” Tony shouted to his back. Bucky took a deep breath and turned halfway. “How did she do it?”

Bucky raised a bothered eyebrow at the man. Tony wasn’t dumb, but he was becoming a little too cheeky about his concerns being brought to fruition.

Bucky walked to him, his eyes never leaving Starks as he got in his face.

“The one person who can tell me that is the same one I’ve had no longer than 10 seconds to talk to, thanks to you’re persistence in keeping me down here,” he said with a stone-cold look.

Tony tried to mimic the look but ended up giving his own signature face of annoyance.

“Just tell me, Barnes. Had she told you about those powers before?”

Finally, the real question came out and it made the soldier's face share the realization of where some of Tony’s questions from earlier were coming from.

“Right,” Bucky nodded, biting his lip in anger and looking away to collect himself before back to the man in front of him. “You almost had me, Stark. For a minute there, I thought we were actually making progress.” His chuckle that followed was not one of comedic intent. He was pissed. “As always, too good to be true.”

He turned and moved out of the room.

“I’ve seen how you two are around the other. I hear it from everyone else too,” Tony shouted his way. “You two have a bond and forgive me for believing she confided in you when she found out for herself what all she was capable of.”

Bucky knew this feud would and could go on for hours if he said any of the things he was thinking. But he didn’t have time or the patience for this type of conversation and didn’t say another word while he walked out of the room.

_____________________________________

In the bedroom, Y/N had just finished giving a blood test and they had wrapped up the first part of the check-up earlier.

“Ok, all done,” Bruce smiled over his glasses before carefully putting the vial in a safe suitcase. “Any questions for me or anything?”

She hesitated but nodded after a second.

“You’ve told me before there’s a green guy that you turn into when you get overwhelmed or angry,” she stated, and he laughed at her summary of what details he had shared with her.

“Yeah, the green guy and I have a better relationship than we used to,” he laughed a little. “I have a little more control over his comings and goings.”

“How did you learn how to do that?” she was quick to ask and her eyes showed a sense of urgency.

“It took time, patience, and… Lots of meditation,” he answered. “It definitely didn’t happen overnight.”

“What was the first step you took?”

He paused trying to think of what was his first step. He wasn’t lying when he said it was a long process and truthfully there will always be things he’s learning.

He let out a breath before scooting to the end of his chair and intertwining his hands.

“In order to know what you’re up against, you have to push the boundaries you worry you can’t control. Without that, you’ll never know the type kind of anomalies your powers take up. It’s nerve racking and sounds like an impossible task that easily could result in something scary and unpredictable, but…” He looked at the worry on her face but behind it held a look of curiosity. “No progress can be made without trial and error. Find a place that is a controlled environment, and maybe with someone you know could help, and you’ll be climbing the staircase to understanding yourself in no time.”

There was a second of silence as she took in his response.

“And what if no one can help me?”

“Not to make it an intimidating endeavor, but some things may have to be done alone. And sometimes things you don’t plan to happen will happen. It’s all part of the learning process,” he shrugged, sitting back in his chair. “But if there is one thing I’ve learned about you my friend, you are a force to be reckoned with. You’ve seen and gone through things that most don’t even have the capacity to imagine, yet here you are. A kind, bright, patient, and brave soul. This is just the start of something great, even if it feels like a punch to the gut at the moment.”

Again another silence filled the room as Y/N processed his advice. When she felt like she was ok to move on, she laid her hands in her lap and slouched some.

“I didn’t mean to scare anyone,” she said with a hint of hurt. “I just- No one was listening to me.”

“You don’t have to explain it to me,” he laughed. “I understand being in stressful environments and feeling like you can’t escape. I’m sorry no one listened to you down there. They sometimes get blindsided by the job and hospitality can get thrown out the window.”

“I understand others not getting it, but Bucky he-,” she paused, feeling bad about being frustrated with him, but that’s exactly what it was. “I know his intentions mean well. They have since day one.”

Bruce nodded in understanding and crossed his arms as he got comfortable in the chair.

“Sergeant Barnes has always been one to protect those that need it. Especially when he can sympathize with some of the things you’ve gone through,” he explained. “And because of that, he’s efficient in making sure all those steps are taken. Especially if it’s someone he’s grown to care about.”

If she heard that last sentence with the tone behind it, she didn’t show it. She seemed too lost in her own thoughts to fully comprehend what Bruce was hinting at.

Though he had learned that the two were oblivious to the obvious bond they had built.

The conversation didn’t go further than that, however, because Bucky was knocking on the door and coming in after Bruce gave the all-clear.

“Hey,” Bucky smiled, nerves slipping into his facial expression. “Everything go ok?”

“Just wrapped up,” Bruce stood, grabbing his bags. “I’ll run downstairs and do a test on the blood sample, but everything else is all clear. Nothing to worry about health-wise.”

“Great,” he let out a sigh of relief, coming more into the room. “I appreciate your help Banner,” he met him halfway as Y/N stayed on the bed still not turning to him.

“Anytime,” Bruce nodded. “One thing though,” he turned back to Y/N and then Bucky in a whisper. “Take it easy on her. She’s freaked out just as much as you are, but you need to listen to her. She just did something she hasn’t remembered being able to do in a while and she has questions. Let her explore them for the answers.

Bucky knew he was right, but a part of him worried about what all that exploration could entail.

“Thanks,” he nodded. “I really do appreciate you helping where I couldn’t.”

Bruce gave a single nod and made his way to the door.

“You know where to find me if you have any questions, Y/N. I’m also just a call away.”

Y/N finally looked up and gave him a soft smile.

“Thanks, Dr. Banner,” she responded quietly.

After Bruce left, there was an awkward silence that took over the atmosphere. It was as if words wanted to be said, but neither knew where to start.

Friday ended up being the one breaking the silence.

“Sergeant Barnes,” she echoed over the system, Y/N’s head lifted at the noise. “Agent Romanoff is back from retrieving Maximoff from a mission and would like to discuss the events of this morning.”

Bucky was about decline the ask and say they needed a second to rest, but Y/N stood quickly and seemed to be in a rush all of a sudden.

“Where are they?” she asked.

Bucky’s eyebrows crumpled at her quickness.

“Currently walking off the tarmac and headed to your room,” Friday replied.

“Tell them to meet me in the training rooms. Normal spot,” she instructed, and Friday confirmed.

Not long ago she was begging to curl up in a ball and hide away from everything, and now after half an hour with Bruce, she’s marching with a look of determination to see Nat and Wanda.

“Hold on a second,” Bucky intercepted her, his build keeping her from reaching the door. “I think it would be best if you rested for a little before heading off on a mission.”

Bucky’s was becoming a little snarky about the situation. After his talk with Stark and after going through the whole surprise of the morning, he was losing patience.

“Banner just said I was fine. Everything is normal,” she retorted looking up at him, not budging.

“Yeah, but that doesn’t mean you’re ready to just jump back in the action of it all,” he said back, crossing his arms over his chest. It was an attempt to show he meant business.

“I feel fine,” she said in a deep tone.

“Doesn’t mean you shouldn’t take it easy.”

Instead of throwing back another miffed response, she turned her head up at him.

“Why won’t you trust me?” There was anger behind her question and the tension was clearly building. “I said I’m fine, I need you to trust me that that is the case,” she huffed.

He relaxed some in his posture upset that she thought that.

“It’s not that I don’t trust you, I just worry you aren’t looking out for yourself,” he explained. “Not even an hour ago you were talking about hiding from the world. I’m worried your frustration of the situation is taking charge and you’re not thinking clearly.”

“I’ve never had a more transparent way of thinking,” she challenged, raising her eyes and copying his stance with her arms over her chest.

He never thought in a million years that the stare-off he was having would be with her. This side of her was new but made him realize she was not always the timid girl he had saved.

She was now comfortable enough to fight for her choices and right now, she really didn’t want to be interrupted in finding answers.

“The answers will be there still in an hour,” he tried to bargain with her. “All I’m asking is you relax for a little and to let your body have a second.”

She was done and over it. She blinked slowly and turned her back to him before walking a few steps ahead, stiff in her body language.

This wasn’t the look of someone about to fall back from the fight. This was someone gearing up for it.

Then she took a deep breath, her hand running through her hair again as she prepared to not follow the vexation talking in her head, telling her to not hold back.

But she was better than that, she took a deep breath and collected herself before turning back to Bucky who was unmoved from blocking her exit.

“I’m not asking. I’m going to the training facility. If you want to come with me you can. If you want to stay, I don’t care. Either way, I’m leaving,” she grabbed a sweater she had laid on the back of the couch and started walking to the door without paying any mind to his body keeping her from it.

“Y/N, I don’t want to do this,” he started, stepping back and getting closer to the door to keep her away.

He had the upper hand and was the barrier keeping her from leaving still. She was in front of him and it would take much more than a shove to get him out of the way.

“Great, then don’t,” she retorted going back to not making eye contact with him.

“Didn’t say I wouldn’t though,” Bucky sassed back, sidestepping as she tried to reach around him for the handle.

“I swear-”

“You swear what?” he challenged, bending some attempting to make her look at him even though she refused to.

“I don’t want to hurt you,” she answered, looking up through her lashes. And not in a cute bashful way, this was the first time she had threatened him and he was shocked at it.

“You wouldn’t,” he called her bluff.

A look of uncertainty at her threat flashed over her features but in the same second it came, it left.

Next thing he knew, she was somehow opening the door and he was a good 5 feet away. He couldn’t comprehend the moves she had made as he never expected them to come. But in some way, in some form, she had out-maneuvered him in a defensive move he didn’t know she was capable of.

“How the hell did you just-?” His eyes were wide and his mouth was slightly open at the confusion coursing through his thoughts and body.

“If you didn’t fight me on it, it wouldn’t have needed to happen,” she grunted, turning the handle and walking out quickly.

Bucky took a second to snap out of it, but when he did he ran after her.

“Whoa!” he shouted, jogging to her side. “What the hell is going on with you?”

She didn’t answer but instead quickened her pace.

Bucky rolled his eyes. He dealt with backtalk and sarcastic remarks daily from his teammates, but he wasn’t sure how to deal with it when it came from her. He had found himself in the last two minutes saying at least 6 sarcastic remarks he never thought would be pointed toward her.

“Listen, I get you’re going through a lot of different emotions right now, but I’m only trying to help you,” he told her.

She stopped unexpectedly and Bucky was close to stumbling over his feet at the suddenness.

“For as far back as I can remember,” she started, pain and rage in her voice. “I have only been allowed to feel the same genre of emotions. Fear. Pain. Anxiety. The fear and anxiety that tormented me by wondering about the next pain they were going to inflict on me every minute I was conscious. And now?” Her eyes watered and her lips formed a pout. “Now a rush of fury, and overwhleming panic, and things I can’t even begin to describe are flooding my system on top of all of that.”

Bucky ached at her response.

“I don’t know much about these moods that feel like they’re changing by the second and causing what feels like a fire in my veins every time they do, but I do know one thing. And it’s that I’m tired of being scared,” she looked at him deeply, a tear slipping and marking its way down her cheek. “I’m tired of feeling like I can’t protect myself. I’m tired of feeling like a burden to everyone who’s taken me in and like I’m the reason that all of your homes are being invaded.”

She took a step toward him.

“If there is one thing I know I can help in, it’s figuring out what I’m capable of and how I can use it to help you. Hiding away is no longer an option for me. We can’t make progress if we just sit and wait for something to happen again.”

And now his heartbreak for her was in full motion. He should have known better. This whole time he took pride in how he felt he understood her history, and yet he forgot some of the most important details.

The guilt of feeling like you are the reason things are going wrong.

She may have been progressing well in her healing journey in the short time she was here, but it wouldn’t come without overwhelming emotions and realizations. Whether those realizations were true or not was something that came with time and understanding… And lots of therapy. But she hadn’t been given the time for those, and now they were making themselves clear.

“I-I’m sorry,” he mumbled, feeling bad for causing her distress when he didn’t mean to.

“Please don’t,” she put a hand up cutting him off. “I don’t want or need apologies where it’s not your fault.”

He nodded understanding that perspective as well. Instead of continuing the conversation, though he wanted to, he knew she had a plan and wanted to get on with it. Though he may be against it, it wasn’t his choice to make. A hard lesson to learn, but one he would learn for her.

So, he moved to the side and moved a hand out to let her take the lead.

She looked back at him the same way she did when Bruce did the same thing downstairs. A sense of uncertainty as if it were a trick, but when she took the steps further, he didn’t stop her, but instead followed behind.

Their first fight and both came out unscathed. At least physically…

Feel free to follow me on Wattpad too and vote on any of your favorite chapters:) It helps promote my story & also makes my brain release tons of endorphins everytime I get a notification about one of ya’ll❤️

If you would like to be tagged in this series, please send an ask here.Thank you:)

Finding Memories Taglist: (some would not let me tag. so if you see your name but didn’t get the notification, double check if your blog allows tags:)

@tinkerbelle67 @a-beaverhausen @caruhleener @fanfictionjunkie1112 @sjsmith56 @nancymcl @kaygilles @laisbeltrans @matchat3a

Marvel Tags:

@thejourneyneverendsx @death-unbecomes-you @mythos-writes @srrymydood @xa-dia @redhairedfeistynerd @morganclaire4 @connie326 @captain-asguard @mollygetssherlockcoffee @teenagedreams-bucky @shower-me-with-roses @livstilinski @basicallylool @starryeyeseunbyul

My Lovelies forever:

@natura1phenomenon @lauravicente @kakakatey @traceyaudette @notyourtypicalrose @awesome-badass-cafeteria-sauce @sandlee44 @thorne93 @thefaithfulwriter1 @essie1876 @greyeyedsmile14 @capsiclehan @xostephanie @averyrogers83 @awesomenursingstudent @gh0stgurl @cs-please @jjlevin @rainbowkisses31 @deannotmoose @their-bibliophile @kitkatd7 @willowbleedsonpaper @mariaenchanted @snffbeebee @couldabeenamermaid @rebekahdawkins @alyispunk @billyseye @hallecarey1

Bucky Barnes Tags:

@chloe-skywalker @charmedbysarge @jbarness @bellamy-barnes @katiaw2 @aikeia @stopjustlovethemcu @enchantedbarnes

#Bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes x reader series #finding memories #bucky barnes series #bucky barnes slow burn #Bucky barnes x reader slow burn #slowburn #marvel slow burn #Marvel series #bucky barnes #bucky barnes x enhanced reader #enhanced reader series #enhanced reader #reader insert #bucky barnes reader insert #justkending

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whumpslist · 2 years ago

Text

A bunch of answers 5 and recap

Hi everyone,

With the summer season and the ending of many series, I’m finally catching up with old whumps’ lists, in particular:

* As already stated here, I’ve completed the final seasons of The Flash, Titans and Endeavor and updated the whumps lists; I’ve completed Carnival Row as well and it’s online;

* the lists from current, but not broadcasted at moment, series are all updated; The Blacklist’s tenth and final season is airing and updated to the last episode as well;

* I have to update the second season of Tale of the Nine-Tailed which is currently being aired under the name “1938″ as a prequel and I will binge watch it once fully broadcasted;

* I have done a whumpslist for the first season of Will Trent and the books by Karin Slaughter the TV show is based on, I'm still undecided whether to publish it or wait to complete them all. What would you prefer?;

* I’ve recently posted some new K-lists: Insider, Doctor Lawyer and updated Taxi Driver with the second season; I’ve also (FINALLY) completed the list for The K2, it will be posted in a couple of days; viceversa, it’s already online the whumpslist of Citadel but I really didn’t liked the show itself, many things were off...

As my plans for future binge watching and whumps’ lists:

* Tom Clancy's Jack Ryan new season will be released soon as the third season of The Witcher (I promise I have started to watch the second season of it and updating the list) which will be the last one I will do if it is true that Henry Cavill will no longer wear the clothes of Geralt of Rivia;

* I have The Musketeers list to complete (only a bunch of episodes left to review), and two seasons and half of The Last Ship;

* i have selected many K-dramas I want to watch this summer, I don’t know if any of them are worth of a whumpslist but I certainly hope so!

You can find all the lists and the links into the Whumpslist’s links Sheet here. Plus, I've made another sheet to include all my gifs, short clips and audios posted as Tumblr allows only a certain amount to links into a single post.

-- . .- -. .-- .... .. .-.. .

Meanwhile I’ve received many messages, I’ll gather the answers here.

Not sure if you've done this show yet, but, Queen of the South, it's on Netflix, has some great whump for character James Valdez 👌

Hi Anon, yes, I’ve seen some gifsets here and there but I’m not sure I would like the series itself. Still evaluating it.

Do you have a whumplist for Covert Affairs? Especially Auggie!

Maybe, @sharimae, but surely not in the foreseeable future, as I’ve already watched it back in the days.

Has the whump community gotten a hold of Lockwood and Co yet? if not y’all need to run to netflix rn!!!Anthony Lockwood is the PERFECT whumpee, but plenty goes around! not to mention there’s found family, hurt/comfort, angst, self sacrifice, tragic backstories, reckless boy with no self care, torture, electrocution, sword fights, ghosts can and will kill you (or put you into a coma), girl who can save the world and the boy who would die for her, gunshot wound, collapsing and needing to be supported, unconsciousness, powers are a burden… i could go on honestly

He’s cute, indeed, I’ll consider it.

brothers whump

Sorry, @s610ela, care to elaborate??

Hi!! I was wondering if you have any plan to continue the list for Jack Ryan? Thank you!

Hi there! As said above, I will certainly continue the list for this show.

Your Remington Steele gifs of 4x01 are an actual gift to the tiny Remington Steele fandom! Where did you get the episodes to use?! (If you don’t mind me asking lol)

Ah, my little me was SO in love with Remington Steele and enjoyed the sporadic whumps everytime they popped up! I made the gifs a while ago, I’m sorry I don’t remember where I retrieved the episode to do the gifset.

That’s all, folks!

#Thanks for the input #ask whumpslist #suggestions for whumpslist #Carnival Row #The Blacklist #Tale of the Nine-Tailed #Will Trent #Taxi Driver #The K-2 #Citadel #Jack Ryan #The Witcher #The Musketeers #The Last Ship #Queen of the South #Covert Affairs #Lockwood and Co #Remington Steele

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mattoyaki · 1 year ago

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Hey, I was just wondering if you would mind walking through kinda what your workout routines is and how you eat and stuff (if that's okay/not too invaisive). I've been making small changes myself but just curious about other guys are doing. ❤️

Sorry if this has been answered before!

Hey there anon, thanks for asking this I’m flattered! I’m definitely not an expert and I’m still very new to fitness in general (only been at it for ~9 months now.) I’m also not really one to be systematic about it. I don’t calorie count or follow a specific workout routine, for example. Tbh this past year I’ve just been dicking around in the gym and trying new stuff out lol. With that said I don’t really have a definitive routine but I’ll share what I’ve been doing:

• Push-ups everyday, even on rest days. I try to do at least 100 but 200 is my ideal range. I’ve started doing pull-ups most days as well but since I don’t have a pull up bar (yet) I only do those when I go to the gym. Still doing assisted pull-ups for now (multiple sets until failure) but already seeing big improvement in my back and lats!

• My “routine” can shift depending on my schedule but I generally do PPL (push-pull-legs) with a rest day in between. This averages out to about 5-6 days a week in the gym, 3-4 of those being upper body and 2 leg days. However, when I first started lifting I was only doing about 2-3 gym days a week total, so I’ve worked my way up to that. I generally workout for for 60-90 minutes. My workouts usually start with a warm up, then the actual workout, followed by a “Lightning round” to finish off where I just make myself go until absolute failure and get as much of a pump as i can.

• I generally split my upper body workouts into chest/back and arms/shoulders respectively, but sometimes I’ll switch it up. I make it a point to switch up my workouts everytime too, so for example, if I did bench press my last chest day I’ll do dumbbells my next one etc.

• Warming up I always do push-ups, pull-ups, and then depending on what im hitting that day I’ll do some drop sets accordingly to get a good little pump in, really focusing on muscle mind connection. In my opinion MMC has been paramount in me getting good pumps and making sure I’m targeting the muscle I want properly.

• I take my sets to failure every-time and I gradually increase the weight with each set (progressive overload). My only exception to this is during a warm-up where I do some drop sets.

• An example of my routine would look like this:

Chest/Shoulders

Warm Up (15 minutes)

Push-ups 3x12

Pull-ups 3x8

Pec Deck Flys (drop sets, focusing on squeezing the pec muscles)

Rear Delt Flys (same as Pec Flys on the pec deck machine)

Dumbbells (30 minutes)

Hammer Press 3x12

Chest Press 3x12

Chest Flys 3x12

Lateral Raises 3x12

Incline Hammer Press 3x12

Incline Chest Press 3x12

Incline Chest Fly 3x12

Decline Hamer Press 3x12

Decline Chest Press 3x12

Decline Chest Fly 3x12

Rear Delt Flys 3x12

Cables (20 minutes)

Lat Pulldowns 3x12

Rear Delts 3x12

Chest Flys (at varying heights to activate the upper, middle, and lower chest respectively)

Lateral Rows 3x12

Pec Deck (20 minutes)

Chest Flys 3x12

Rear Delt Flys 3x12

Finish Line

Push-Ups til failure

Pull-Ups til failure

Chest Flys til failure

————————————————

Arms/Shoulders

Warm-Up (15 minutes)

Push ups 3x12

Pull-Ups 3x8

Cable Bicep Curls (drop sets)

Cable Tricep Pulldowns (drop sets)

Dumbbells (30 minutes)

Hammer Press 3x12

Bicep Curls 3x12

Shoulder Shrugs 3x12

Arnold Press 3x12

Shoulder Press 3x12

Tricep Curls 3x12

Isolated Bicep Curls 3x12

Machines (20 minutes)

Tricep Press 3x12

Bicep Curl 3x12

Tricep Extensions 3x12

Shoulder Press 3x12

Finish Line

Push-ups til failure

Pull-Ups til failure

————————————-

Legs

Warm-Up (25 minutes)

Stairs (5 minutes)

Elliptical (5 minutes)

Treadmill (5 minutes)

Squats 3x8

Wall sits (3 sets for 30s, 45s and 1m respectively)

Machines (30 minutes)

Ham Press 3x12

Leg Press 3x12

Quad Extension 3x12

Calf Press 3x12

Hip Adductions (virgin) 3x12

Hip Abductions (whore) 3x12

Cables (15 minutes)

Glute Kickbacks 3x12

Smith Machine (20 minutes)

Squats 3x12

RDLs 3x12

Hip Thrusts 3x12

Finish Line (15 minutes)

Wall Sits til failure

Push-ups til failure

Pull-ups til failure

Cable Kickbacks

Reverse Treadmill (5-10 minutes, helps with knee pain!)

——————————————————-

• As for my diet as I stated I don’t calorie count and I kinda just go off how hungry or full I feel lol. I try to eat mostly healthy but nothing too crazy. Chicken is my main source of protein, I also use ground Turkey a lot. Eggs. Eggs. Eggs. And beans! I mostly use frozen vegetables (broccoli, cauliflower, carrots, brussel sprouts, zucchini, etc) and I also use leafy greens (spinach, collared/turnip greens, kale etc) in salads and in smoothies. For breakfast I’ll have some oatmeal, toast, potatoes, and of course eggs. I drink protein shakes as well as 5g creatine every day

I’ll share my smoothie recipe because it’s pretty good and I’ve definitely seen gains with it. I drink this pretty much every night after my workout:

Green Smoothie

• Equal parts mango and pineapple

• 2 scoops of vanilla casein protein powder (50g protein)

• 1/2 cup fat-free Greek yogurt (I use Fage brand cause ima fag)

• several handfuls of leafy greens (spinach, collared greens, kale, etc, just whatever I have)

• 1 avocado

• 1 banana

• equal parts coconut water and cashew/almond milk

Blend until it forms a homogeneous liquid :)

This is kinda haphazard but I hope it’s kinda what you’re looking for!! I might make a more detailed post in the future if more people are curious :)

#ask #anon

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im-suchanicegirl · 1 year ago

Text

I finally have my m&g picture so i guess it’s time to talk about the shows eh?

More below, it’s gonna be long.

MONTRÉAL

Because @pastlink, her friends and @fredv0mjupiter arrived early, @chaotic-gingey and I were able to jump the line, not without some people complaining. Yeah yeah i know, not the best thing, but we were working, not lounging.

We managed to be front row on the Daniel² side and despite my nemesis on my left that I’ve talked about, we were well placed. The crowd was rowdy but nothing compared to what it would be for Electric Callboy.

I about lost my shit when they arrived on stage and I’m not sure if it’s from the build up from months of waiting (tickets were bought in feb.!) or to be so close to them.

Snagged some nice pictures:

Then during arrow of love, @chaotic-gingey and I did the 🫶🏼 like the Daniel² and they pointed at us (thanks @pastlink ❤️).

Then the show ended and i almost got into a fist fight with my nemesis and went back home.

NYC

We arrived relatively early as it was @chaotic-gingey ‘s turn to choose our side and she wanted to be on Pascal’s side but sat down. We are too old.

Around 5 we walked to the front of the venue and she was wondering who was keeping them late and joking it was probably Kevin talking too much… until she turned around and saw Nico strolling in with Janel from Conquer Divide, a big cup of ice cream in hand. Her face was hilarious.

Tank came to see us and the other group that had won and led us downstairs. We were waiting in between two rooms and all we could see was Pascal standing awkwardly in the room and my friend talking to me in French about her not trying to freak out. Again, 10/10 sighting of her face.

We were finally let inside and David gave us a big hug, followed by Nico, Pascal and Kevin. The Daniel² were missing and I didn’t want to say anything but i was sad. I finally The Pink Mumu ™ coming in and Daniel said hi and gave us a hug.

David then gave us water bottle and we spoke with them but it’s still so ahhhhhhhh in my brain that i keep forgetting and remembering stuff.

- Kevin was very shocked that we drove from Montreal and we explained that it was as long as Toronto

- he didn’t understand my accent when I said we were going to see Bad Omens and he kept being like ‘who’s Ban Akron…’ until i managed to be understood. Woops.

- Kevin kept calling donkeys ‘horses’ and Nico would correct him like ‘it’s donkeys. They’re donkeys.’ And wow, if that isn’t me with @chaotic-gingey

- I’m sorry if I’m pretty much only remembering my exchsnges with kevin ok? He was right next to me and looking me in the eyes.

- I said I was from Italy and he started explaining the places they played there and how much he loved it

- he somehow knew the small French village my dad was in before moving here as its close to germany??

- He laughed when I said i was the one with the German sign and all the guys started laughing too at it. Making them laugh= goal

- he asked me what else i knew in German. This little shit was expecting something nasty or swear words and my brain just went ‘ich spreche kleine Deutsch’ (i speak a little German), to which the guys ‘hmmhmm’

- kevin praised my grammar and my accent and give me a minuuuuuute Im gonna throw myself in ice

- they said they’d love to tour with different bands and i was surprised by the answers they gave. They also talked about bad experiences with some bands

- Kevin: i dont want to badmouth bands […] so the band *** they did that. Nico: oh yeah and that band […] did this i wanted to go home. I wanted to die as one of them is one of my favorite band and he felt so bad but thats ok. ‘Maybe they had a bad day’ as he said

- he agreed my cat made us win the video. Thank you Gustave ❤️

- i somehow placed i was sad because i wanted to see Danskimo and they were very apologetic, saying he was sick. I understood of course but it would be just my luck haha.

- i gave them their bracelets before the picture and entrusted (pascal or kevin?) with Danskimo’s bracelets and the ugly shirt i had which had SPC vibes.

- one if the bracelet had fuckboi written on it and i said it was because i saw someone stole it from one of the conquer divide girls.

- nico the little shit proudly showed me his arm with the bracelet 🙃😂

- pascal took his bracelet and went ‘hehehe… fuckboi’

- then we took the picture and Kevin kept pulling me closer to him and Daniel and ihhhhhh yep.

- hugs. David big. Kevin bigger. Brain went brrr

There isn’t much to say for the show except Kevin and Danskimo were both wearing my bracelets and it made my day.

I love these idiots. CANT wait to see them again😭❤️

#electric callboy #kevin ratajczak #daniel haniß #nico sallach #daniel klossek #david friedrich #pascal schillo

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grantaire-foudroye · 2 years ago

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I'm not the anon you replied to, and can't tell when the original ask was sent, but I'm also thinking about starting T but not in a binary trans man way and would love to hear more about your experiences!

absolutely!!

disclaimer: i haven’t been on T for very long so i can’t give you information i don’t have experience on but i’ll tell ya what i know!

disclaimer #2: this is going to be a very long post. sorry

if you have specific questions please please please DM me or send asks and i’ll answer them :)

the good the bad and the ugly:

one of the first things I noticed on T was the way if affected my menstrual cycle. (i’m just going to use those words for it because i can’t think of any better). i have really fucky hormones already, and a super inconsistent period, and after about a month and a half of T i got a period that lasted about 3 weeks. That freaked me out enough that I went off T for like a month, before realizing that i really needed T and got back on. I haven’t had a period since December, though, so we’ll see how that goes later.

thing #2 that I noticed: bottom growth. this and my voice change started at around the same time, so it was a really interesting few weeks while those two were starting out. you will feel it. all the time. like. all the time.

thing 2.5: the voice. this has been such a wonder for me. the first few weeks of voice dropping came sooner than i expected (around 2ish months in) although I had been noticing tiny minuscule changes since around month 1.5. the first real drop for me came February, or month 3, after my month-long pause. in about two weeks, my voice dropped a noticeable amount. it started cracking and my throat started hurting like a motherfucker. my voice has also dropped a bit these past few weeks, so ~ month 6, and people have started commenting on how different my voice is. it’s really great for me- my voice has finally started matching what i thought my voice should sound like.

thing 3: HORNY. i’m so fucking horny. im horny every hour of the day night and in between. i spent a whole day just jacking off and sleeping. you grow a second brain and it’s located in your pants. anything will get you horny.

thing 4: facial hair. hallelujah. i have a mustache now, enough for gas station attendants to call me “young man” and for some guy to ask me if i’m old enough to drive. i’m getting weird little scraggly beard hairs, the stuff about asscrack hair is true, and im getting hair on my stomach and toes????? it’s wonderful. it’s what i’ve waited my whole life for. still waiting for the chest hair, though.

5: fat redistribution. idk what to say about this just that everything is achy and my pants fit different and i know full well i haven’t been changing anything else about my life

6: here’s the sucker punch. sweat. i’m so fucking sweaty and horny all the time. i drove my truck for 15 minutes with the windows down yesterday and sweated through my undershirt. if you don’t have undershirts, get some once you start T. i used to wear the same undershirt for two days in a row (i know it’s gross shut up) and now i can barely wear one for a whole day. get good deodorant. old spice body spray is your friend. sorry

thing 7: emotions. i have a hard time crying now, but i can’t tell if that’s hormones or dehydration. i have your average pubescent mood swings on steroids. my tolerance for bullshit is at an all time low.

things 8-? : social perception

i am a fat butch dyke. i have short hair, a resting mean face, and very brusque hands. i’m very affectionate with people i trust in a way that gets me often labeled (by outsiders) as pushy or desperate. i’ve never been feminine but i’ve put on an affectation of femininity to make myself less threatening. with testosterone that went out the fucking window. people see me the way middle aged church mothers see pitbulls. i got called violent for tossing a shirt into a car with “too much aggression.” people are starting to interact with me the way they would interact with a man. it’s rough, and it’s lonely. but it’s worth it, to me.

i’m having to be more aware of myself in order to not get read as a creep. stuff i would have done when i passed as a girl has become, in a very short time, stuff i absolutely cannot do now that i pass as a weird deformed man. the affectation of femininity has returned in full force, although i’m trying to get rid of it and just talk.

i miss my singing voice.

i have a new singing voice that i love. i’m still surprised when i listen to recordings of myself and they’re not how i expected them.

i’ve found a lot of solace in captain america fanfiction.

i am so dazzlingly happy with my stupid scraggly mustache. i like looking at myself. for a good few weeks i couldn’t stop talking just to hear myself talk.

i need to drink gallons of water now.

people have started defaulting to “he” for me. a stranger let me pet his dog and asked me if i was a “feminus man,” to which i said absolutely.

i’ve become so comfortable in being myself. i can’t wait until i figure out what to do about my tits. i’m slowly getting the upper range of my singing back. i’m having to restrain myself from using vocal fry every three seconds. i go to a barbershop and feel completely out of place, but get a nice haircut. i don’t think i’ve developed the cis man brand of self consciousness yet, and i hope i never do. someone recognized me from high school and i’m glad i’m still the same.

testosterone has made me so connected to the person i thought i was going to grow into as a kid.

on a topic i never got to hear from anyone about:

injecting testosterone.

i chose intramuscular injection for my first T prescription. i went in with almost zero guidance aside from my friend (who offered to do it for me) and my adoptive dad (who told me to close my eyes and jab). i nearly cried the first time.

i kept doing intramuscular until my break, and at that point called the doctor and told her i could not keep doing that. she told me to inject subcutaneous until next appointment. i did. it was a wonder. i now have the specific needles for subcutaneous injection, and am so used to doing it i can even play music during the injection. i used to have to do it in total silence, with the door slightly ajar, and the pamphlet they gave me open in front of me, in case anything went wrong. now it’s easy. i still tell my cis man friends i’m more man than they are for being able to do it.

here’s how i do it, because no one told me how to:

check your T. it should be clear or pale yellow. there should not be granules, chunks, or cloudiness. if there are, call the pharmacy. don’t inject it. if it’s clear and chunk-free, you’re good.

fill the syringe with your dose of hormone. use a thick needle. get the air bubbles out. pull the plunger way down, switch needles, and push the plunger slowly back up to get the air out. you’ll figure it out.

to uncap a needle, you might need a little more force than you expect. i still haven’t figured out how to do this easily.

i inject into my stomach, always, so: i rotate injection sites every week. don’t inject above your navel, and it’s best to inject at least an inch away from it. if you pinch the area you want to inject in you should feel the difference in how pain is experienced. pick a spot where you almost don’t feel it when you pinch yourself. hold the syringe with your thumb on the plunger and your first two fingers on the finger rests. hold it at a 45 degree angle with the needle tip’s open end facing up, so the needle slides in easier. take a deep breath and push the needle in.

it’s easier to go faster just to get the tip in, and after that you can go as gentle and slow as you like.

if you’re like me and your stomach is covered in stretch marks, that’s ok. stretch marks don’t go deep. it might hurt a little to get the needle in, but you will be okay. i promise. you’ll feel the needle hit the fat and slide right in and then you’ll be okay.

some people say to pull up a little to check for blood but i don’t do that and it’s fine. my med student friend said you won’t get internal bleeding or other severe damage from not doing that, and if you do, the big ugly bruise will let you know real quick.

take a deep breath and push the plunger down. if your hand shakes that’s okay and if the needle moves a little that’s okay. just don’t pull the needle out mid-injection.

if you have to test a few spots to see where you want to inject, that’s ok too.

some days will hurt more than others.

it’s okay to have to use more than one needle if you chicken out of the first jab. you usually don’t need a new syringe for this.

don’t pierce the skin with the same needle twice. for sanitary reasons and also because a blunt needle hurts like a motherfucker.

pull the needle out gently and press your finger to the injection site. slap on a bandaid. get the stretchy real bandaid branded bandaids. they’re good.

give yourself a treat! youve probably been a little tense for this. relax.

the injection site might get a little red and a little itchy. it might hurt when you put briefs on. it might hurt when you move or touch it. there might be a tiny little bump where you injected. that’s fine. you will be ok. call a friend if you need.

i hope this all helped! if you want more deets or have questions please let me know :0)

-naf

#je parle #asks #t chronicle

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woahiexist123 · 3 months ago

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So I have a ton of stories that I absolutely LOVE telling people whenever I get the chance, and I realized that I have a place where I can just blabber all I want and no one can stop me so here’s a story of mine

Tw: injuries

Every day after school I would hang out with my friends at my bus stop. One of my friends owns a skateboard, and sometimes I would ride it short distances. Now it is important to know that the most I can do on a skateboard is go forward. That is my limit. I barely know how to stop, so essentially I don’t know how to ride one.

The thing is I’ve always wanted to be able to ride a skateboard, so one day I decided to try something a bit harder on it. You see, there is this big hill that evens out at the bottom right next to my bus stop. I figured whatever speed I gained on the hill, would be lost on the flat part. So, obviously I took the skateboard and began skating towards the hill.

Immediately my friend began chasing me, because I took his skateboard. I reached the hill and without a second thought began going down it. My friend tried to catch up but couldn’t.

Half way down the hill I realized 3 things. 1. There was a car turning onto the road which freaked me out. 2. The skateboard is shaking because of fast I was going. 3. I don’t know how to stop.

Being faced by these challenges my brain just kinda turned off. So, in an attempt to either bail the board or slow down, I placed my foot in front of the board.

Now if your this far into the story I’m sure your thinking “how could you make so many stupid mistakes in a row” and my answer to that is I have no idea. Something came over me that day, and Jesus Christ it was weird.

Putting my foot in front of the board sent me flying straight to the ground where my right hand caught me, but my left was too slow. Thats when my left side of my face hit the ground instead.

Now I’m on the floor. Immediately I get up, and start repeating “fuck” out loud, trying to catch up with myself and figure out what to do. My friend who was chasing after me ran right past me and saved his board from running into a sewer drain (I don’t blame him for a second lol).

I remembered that my other friends at the bus stop were still somewhat near me, so I began going towards them. My friend saved his board and ran up to me right after. He asked me if I was good and all I could say was “fuck” and started to laugh.

Eventually we made it to the rest of the friends and they gasped. I don’t remember who explained what happened to them, but I’m sure someone did. One of my friends gave me his beanie to put against my head, because apparently my head was bleeding enough for that. I couldn’t really do anything but laugh at the situation, because I knew it was my fault and I wanted to reassure the others that I was not in a lot of pain, but I’m pretty sure I just made them more worried. I held the beanie against my head as we walked to my friend’s house to get medical supplies.

At this point I had noticed my hand which had taken most of the fall, hurt wayyy more than my head but still manageable. So, we made it to my friends house where we walked in and made our way to the bathroom. My friend began treating me while the others watched.

She ended up using like 5 bandaids on my face and wrapped my hand with gauze and a bandage. I was quite impressed.

In the end I was fine. If I had a concussion, I never went to the doctor so I guess we will never know. The reactions of people at school were funny though. One guy believed me when I said I fought a homeless man. That was fun. My teachers on the other hand did not think it so funny lol.

So my life lessons from this story is:

1. Learn how to ride a skateboard or just wear a helmet if you are going to ride one without knowing how

2. My friends are awesome, like wtf did you read what they did??? I mean I could not ask for better friends

Sorry if parts of the story don’t make sense or if there are any grammar issues or anything. I tried to make it as clear as possible.

Thank you for reading!

#original story #short story #story #storytelling #accident #tw injury #injury #personal stuff #personal story #personal #kinda funny #kinda fun though #tbh might do it again #but with a helmet this time #skateboarding #skateboarding accident #have you ever had a skateboarding accident?

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cg-twys-daycare · 2 years ago

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Hey,I hope you doing ok, jsut need to have a little rant somewhere you don’t have to answer or anything, so I went away for the weekend(I might need in soem pictures I took they are pretty) with my family, but I was left babysitting my sisters every night we were there and missed soem of the evening events I wanted to go to and had told my parents I wanted to see, then my dad dropped a bottle I had made(like I made the design and printed it onto a bottle) and broke the lid and now it leaks and is super sharp my aunty has spare lids she said I could have but my mum refused to pick one up this evening when she went there and left me to babysit again and told me she’d only be 10 minutes granted my aunty lives 5 minutes down the road, but then I was left babysitting for the 4th night in a row for 2 whole hours which meant putting my sisters to bed which is difficult because of the heat here, so for my three nights away and the first day back at hoem I was left to baby sit and I can’t even use my favourite bottle that helps me discretely slip into my headspace because it’s broken still, my parents don’t know about my age regression and have previously stated that they find it weird and gross when reading an article about someone online who does it so I can’t even tell them about it, all I want to do is cry and rest because I’m so tired and they just keep asking me to do stuff I’ve previously said I don’t like doing liek babysitting-its not that I don’t like babysitting it’s just that my sisters don’t listen to me and then I get told off because their toys are all over the floor and it’s a mess in the house because I was supposed to clean and look after 2 kids and one that didn’t even live here and then deal with my brothers really loud and inappropriate music whilst he said he was gonna invite his girlfriend or friends round on the day of my prom and all the attentions gonna be on him and his mates not helping me get ready for a big night of mine because he’s the favourite child and I’m used to being disappointed by people but I don’t want to feel that way anymore and I’m not sure I’m wrong for feeling this was because other friends and family members have said it’s my job to help round the house and look after everyone when asked because I’m the eldest child but really deep down I’m just a little child whose broken and lost and too easily hopeful then broken down and disappointed and I don’t know what I’m supposed to do because no one seems to understand or want to listen to my feelings they just write them all off

Sorry I realise this is super long, don’t feel pressured to answer or anything you don’t have to at all I just needed to write this somewhere to kind of get it off my mind, thanks for being here though your a really great person and I appreciate you letting me and others vent/rant on here without getting mad over it or annoyed by it

Thank you for venting all of that! Just because you are the oldest sibling doesn't mean you should be taking care of your younger siblings. You are still a child and kid yourself, and your parents should be the ones taking care of you all. I hate seeing the oldest (usually daighter) who gets parentified and has to take care of everything that the parents don't want to deal with.

I dont know how I could help, but I'd offer to sit them down and really talk about how you are still their child too, and you shouldn't be doing these tasks. Especially without getting paid. It should be fun to babysit and do things with your siblings, but I can see this is affecting all of your family relationships. Trying to be an authority but also a sister. Being told you have to do certain things when you truly are just a child yourself, regression and family wise.

#caregivertwyla asks #sfw caregiver #sfw littlespace

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finelinevogue · 3 years ago

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Can we get some more brother!harry?

I really enjoyed your piece where he caught her smoking ❤️

of course you can!! (rip if your name is natalia) hope this is what you wanted;

Natalia.

Beautiful name to juxtapose a horrible excuse of a human being.

Harry was never that great when it came to choosing his girlfriends, but this one was by far the worst. Bekka had been bad, because she had been cheating on Harry with her best friends dad. India was just so toxic, to the point where she’d ask Harry why he wasn’t mad with her over the most trivial things as if she wanted him to be mad. Daya was ok, but she wanted different things to what Harry wanted and so they ended up in a massive argument and ending things quicker than they started. Natalia though, wow. She was something else and that wasn’t a compliment.

You don’t know whether it was just because she targeted you especially, but she was just a downright cruel person. You could easily tell her intentions with your brother were not good. She was a plain ol’ gold digger, evident from the credit card that Harry leant her and she spent so much on it the bank had to call Harry to ask him to authorise that he was aware of the amount of money being spent. She bought a car with his card. A fucking car. Harry was too blinded by her beauty and her experience that he was oblivious to her witchy behaviour towards you. It wasn’t like you hadn’t tried to tell him either, it was more that he didn’t care enough.

“No Harry. No.” You argued with him, standing in the middle of the kitchen as he was busy washing the rest of the dishes in the sink. It was just the two of you home at the moment, because Gemma and Anne were spending the weekend at an exclusive spa in Cheshire, so you didn’t understand how there were so many dishes.

“Y/N, it’s not an option. You’re not staying at home by yourself.” Harry spoke sternly back to you, letting out his frustration by vigorously scrubbing the dishes.

“I’m literally 17 - 18 in like 3 weeks. I’m more than capable of staying home.” You stomped your foot to the ground like a child.

“And I don’t care. You’re coming to lunch whether you want to or not.” Harry finished the last plate and dries his hands on the towel next to the sink, before throwing it over to you.

“But she’ll be there.”

“She’s my girlfriend, so you’ll nice to her.”

“If she’s nice to me, then yeah.” You rolled your eyes and walked over to the sink to start drying the dishes that Harry just cleaned.

“ Y/N, I swear to God.” Harry groaned in frustration, tugging a stressful hand through his hair. “Can you at least pretend to be happy for me for once?”

“Gee Harry, i’m just so happy to be going out to lunch with you and your girlfriend!” You put on the biggest grin as your sarcasm practically dripped from your tongue.

“Stop being a spoilt little shit and finish those dishes. We’re leaving in 20.” Harry spoke harshly, before leaving the room with a heavy strop to his step. It left you to blink back the tears that you couldn’t help that Natalia was ruining your whole relationship with your brother.

You and Harry used to be so tight nit, now it would be a miracle if he spent a day with you per month. Natalia had come along 5 months ago and she had completely turned Harry’s life around for the worst, only Harry was too ignorant to see that. Anne had come home multiple times to find you crying because Harry had cancelled on you, again, or Natalia had said something that had really hurt. Normally you were okay with taking hate, but Natalia made it somehow worse than that. Even if Anne or Gemma tried to talk Harry about the damage all this was causing you it would always be the same response;

“She just wants attention.”

The restaurant was very pretty.

It was one that you and Harry used to go to all the time, when there was no girlfriend around. It sold the best pastries and life-changing eggs on toast. The food was always delicious and the staff were so completely lovely. You were glad to be coming here, making you feel more comfortable than you would if you went to a expensive fancy restaurant instead. This little restaurant, named ‘Lemon Puffs’ after their infamous lemon, cream and pastry puffs, made you feel safe and happy.

“Remember to just be nice.” Harry spoke as you both approached the table that Natalia was already sat at. She was too busy on her phone to realise you were even here.

“If she plays nice then yeah.” You bit back.

“Y/N just stop being petty, y’pissing me off now.” Harry argued. “Whine like a bitch later. I don’t need it today.”

You stopped talking after that, not having anything else to say to him. He’d made it very clear that you were only here because he didn’t trust you at home by yourself, but by the same token wanted you quiet because he didn’t trust you enough to speak nicely. Harry hugged and kissed Natalia like he hadn’t just seen her last night and then sat down opposite to her, leaving you to sit next to Harry because you sure as hell weren’t sitting next to her. Natalia didn’t even make the effort to hug you or shake hands, in fact you barely got a simple hello.

“You alright, baby?” Natalia asked, twirling her hand into Harry’s from across the table. Disgusting.

“Yeah i’m good. This one’s a pain in my arse, as always.” Even with his joking tone, you knew he was being somewhat serious and that really messed with you.

“Typical.” Natalia rolled her eyes and tutted her tongue, not hesitating to use the opportunity to be mean to you. Harry thought she was merely playing along with his words, but you new otherwise.

“You know what you want yet?” Harry asked as he pulled his own attention towards the menu. You didn’t need to look at the menu, as being here so many times has allowed you to discover the perfect order.

“I think i’m just going to get the salad, but without the chicken, cheese or cucumber.” She answered, sipping on the water she must’ve already ordered whilst waiting for you both.

“So just lettuce?” You asked, not meaning for it to be a condescending question and yet she took it that way anyways.

“Is there something wrong with that, Y/N?” She asked, being really harsh in the way she spoke your name - as if the syllables actually caused her pain to speak.

“N-no I was just—”

“Didn’t think so.” She snapped and turned away from you to look back towards Harry, with her shit-eating grin that didn’t fool you. Harry kicked you leg under the table too, not appreciating the way you were speaking to Natalia. He didn’t even think about the way his girlfriend was speaking to you though. As usual.

“I’ll probably get the salad too.” Harry nodded his head and you shook your head as he spoke. Harry would never normally get a salad. Like, that’s so Kardashian of him. Harry, whenever he came here with you, always ordered a cheese and pickle panini, with extra crunchy pickles, a portion of chips and some halloumi fries too. Oh and then a cake for pudding. He wouldn’t have gone for a boring salad. Fucking Natalia was ruining him and you hated to have a front row seat of it.

“Not the usual then?” You tried to joke with him, but he was clearly still pissed off with you for being… you.

“Why, are you?” He asked quizzically.

“Obviously.” You smiled, which made Harry smile for a split second before Natalia pulled him away from you. Your smile disappeared and a frown settled in, knowing it would stay there for a long time.

“Babe, I am here too you know?” Natalia joked, bur you could see the anger and jealousy behind her eyes. If looked could kill you’d be ten feet under, twenty times over by now.

“Sorry, yeah.” Harry cleared his throat and paid closer attention to her.

Lunch went by slowly.

Natalia scoffed when she heard your order; poached eggs on toast with three pieces of crispy bacon on the side, a portion of chips and a mint iced tea. Oh and a cake for pudding, but you’d come to that later. Natalia ate her lettuce as Harry eat his salad as you ate your eggs on toast with bacon and chips. You loved the food, hated the company and couldn’t make up your mind whether you loved or hated being here. Natalia and Harry talked throughout lunch, leaving you out of all their conversations. The only time Harry spoke to you was when he asked whether your food was okay, eyeing it up as if he wanted to make love to it and send his salad to the nearest dumpster.

“Was everything alright for you?” Paul, the owner of the business and dude in charge of the eggs asked you when all your plates were empty as Harry’s growling stomach.

“Lovely, thank you.” Harry responded gratefully.

“Perfect.” You smiled as you handed your dirty plate to Paul.

“It was a bit plain.” Natalia moved her plate away from her in disgust and Paul put on his best customer smile, apologising for that before leaving to go and ring up the bill.

“Okay i’m just going to go for a quick wee before I pay.” Harry announced, getting up from the table to go to the loo.

“Okay babe. Don’t be too long.” She called out and then it was left just you and her.

“Well this was nice.” You tried to be nice, as Harry told you to, and start a meant conversation with your arch enemy. Kill ‘em with kindness - that was Harry’s slogan wasn’t it?

“If you hadn’t have been here then yeah.” She turned her nose up at you.

“Look,” you began, wanting her to understand something, “whatever i’ve done to upset you and make you hate me, i’m sorry. Just, I don’t want you to dislike me and I know that Harry really likes you so I want us to be able to get along.”

“Listen, Y/N,” there it was again - your name spoken with dripping venom, “I don’t want to get along with you. You make me sick. You are such a baby to Harry and you’re needy, which means I don’t get to spend time with my boyfriend—”

“Don’t get to spend time with him?” You had to laugh at that. Apart from today, you’d seen Harry maybe a total of 2 hours this whole week and it was Saturday. “You’re practically attached at the hip.”

“Not enough. Harry needs to keep away from you, you only bring him trouble.”

“I’m his fucking sister.” You shouted quietly, not wanting to disturb the peace for the rest of the customers.

“Not an excuse. Look Y/N, I understand that you are quite lonely and don’t have many friends? Maybe you should consider that’s for a very good reason?” She rhetorically asked you and that made you sit back a bit. She was pulling apart your insecurities now and exposing them to find the most painful parts, so she could watch you suffer with only the curse of her words.

“It’s not like that.” You tried to convince yourself more than her, tears in your eyes over something so hurtful to you.

“No? ‘Cause I think that you aren’t the kind of person anyone wants around, including Harry.” She stood up dusted herself off as he noticed Harry walk back over to the table, smiling as if she hadn’t just shot his sister in the heart.

Her words stung more than a scorpions tale, and yes unfortunately you knew what that felt like. Natalia was right. You were alone, friendless and just trouble. There was a reason that you were all of this and Natalia had hit the nail right on the head with the reason why. You thought of your friends, his they always disappeared and left you and now you sit in the canteen alone or hang out only with yourself on the weekends. You think to Gemma and Anne going away for the weekend, not inviting you because it was age restrictive but you still couldn’t help but think there was a more pressing reason than that. Then you think of Harry and how he was fed up of you. He couldn’t be more resentful of you if he tried. You wanted to be a good friend, a good daughter and most importantly a good sister, but it was so blindingly obvious that you weren’t. You were never going to be.

You stood up from the table too, quickly wiping away a tear from your face before anyone could notice but you didn’t care to see if anyone was actually watching. Harry kissed Natalia and then walked over to the cashier to pay the bill. You noticed Paul and Harry talking and so you walked out of the restaurant and towards the car, still tears in your eyes. You needed to be strong for yourself though, especially because nobody else was going to be.

You stood with you handle to the door of the car waited for Harry to come and unlock it. You heard high heels before the car was unlocked, unfortunately.

“Excuse me, but I ride front.” Natalia spat at you, removing your hand from the door and chivvying you to the back of the car instead.

“You’re coming with us?” You asked, your heart aching that little bit more. You didn’t want to spend another minute in her presence and yet she would now probably spend the rest of the week until your mum and sister came back.

“Ye—”

“No she’s not.” Harry walked out of the restaurant and over to the car, standing in between the both of you but a little more towards you.

“Babe? What do you mean?” Natalia asked, a little bit shocked at his tone with her.

“Firstly dont babe me. Secondly, get your hand off my car. Thirdly, don’t ever come near me or my sister ever again.” Harry ordered angrily. You’d never seen him this angry before. You stood behind him, afraid of what was about to go down.

“What has she said to you, because—”

“She’s my sister and she’s got a name. Y/N didn’t tell me anything. Lemon Puffs, however, has eyes and ears everywhere and it’s amazing the stories you hear when you’re stood at the cashier or next to someone at the urinals.” Harry accused Natalia and she went hot red in the face, embarrassed that this conversation was actually happening.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“No? Maybe this will jog your memory. ‘I think you aren’t the kind of person anyone wants around, including Harry.’” Harry raised his eyebrows and crossed his arms over his chest confrontationally. Guarding and protecting you. You felt safe.

“Wha— You think I would say that?” Natalia asked, pretending to be offended by the accusation.

“I don’t know, let’s ask Y/N shall we? Y/N, did Natalia say that to you?” Harry asked, turning to look at you with hope in his eyes, but also sorriness for everything that’s happened. You could see it all behind his eyes and you wanted to squeeze him tight to accept his apology, because you loved him and you needed him.

“Y-yes.” You answered, looking down so you didn’t have to make eye contact with Natalia.

“Harry you can’t possibly believe her.” Natalia laughed, but there was heavy insecurity in her tone.

“I trust her more than anyone. More than you. I trust Y/N with my life.” Harry back answered, taking no more bullshit from his ex-girlfriend. “We’re done Natalia. Okay? I don’t want to see you ever again. What you’ve said and done to my sister is unforgivable and I don’t want someone like you in my life.”

“You were a dick too.” You added quietly behind him and he just turned round to smile and wink at you.

“So what? That’s it?” Natalia asked, dumbfounded.

“Bye Natalia.” Harry walked around to the drivers seat and you to the passenger side. He stopped before opening the door though, wanting to say one last thing. “The bill was split in half by the way. Paul’s just inside waiting for you to pay.”

With that, you both got in the car, laughing at Natalia’s reaction and just everything. Apologises were made and promises of no relationships until you two had built back up yours were sworn. It would take time, but Harry was willing to prove that he was a good brother and you were always going to be someone he wanted around.

#harry styles #harry styles fanfic #harry styles fanfiction #finelinevogue harry styles #finelinevogue #harry oneshot #harry styles concept #harry blurb #harry styles x sister!reader #harry styles sister concept #harry styles sister #harry styles masterlist #finelinevogue blurbs #ask finelinevogue #ask harry styles #anon response #anon #harry styles angst #harry styles sister angst blurb

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mouthfulloftoothpasterry · 4 years ago

Text

Hooked

Summary: Harry and Y/n meet again. This time spending more time together and getting to know each other.

warnings/ disclaimers: Swearing, mentions of death, mentions of childbirth.

Harry was out searching for a book. He had left Loralie with his mother for the day since he had some errands to run and it would be a busy day. He had finished all of his books and he was on the search for another, maybe even some extra ones for his classroom. He had stopped by his favorite coffee shop and ordered his favorite black coffee to start his day of errands, then he went to the market to get everything for dinner tonight- he thought he might as well get it out of the way since he hates grocery shopping.

Now he’s on the way to a bookstore, he didn’t want to order it on Amazon or just go to a big chain store so he did a quick google search and found a small book store a block down the road from the coffee shop he had gone to. He wanted to find the book burning in water, drowning in flame- his sister had recommended it to him and now he was itching to read it.

He made his way to the bookstore, it looked like a homey place just from the outside of the store. It was a rust colored brick with two sconces on either side of the top of the book shop, a rather tall building- possibly a flat at the top. Harry looks at the cacti peeking through the windows, little flower stickers to decorate.

Harry walks into the book shop, opening the door making the golden bell at the top of the door frame sound off. As soon as Harry steps in he notes the warm scent, it smells like the owner had been baking cookies. “Hello!” He hears a cheerful voice sing while he steps toward the poetry aisle in search of the book. “Is there anything I could help you with today?” He hears the voice again making him turn his head. To his surprise it’s Y/n, he’s been thinking about her. “Oh, hi.” He says bashfully, smiling and stepping over to the cashier counter she was behind.

Y/n smiles, continuing to add price tags on the back of her new shipment of books. She had started her little business officially a bit after she had gotten pregnant with Milo. Milo’s dad had left her after she broke the news to him, they were in their early twenty’s (Y/n being twenty one and him being twenty two) so it was understandable that he didn’t want children yet but the way he dealt with the situation was just dramatic and too much on Y/n. So she put everything into her little book shop, she took out a loan and bought this place, starting planning and putting her all into it, it wasn’t easy but it was worth it.

“Hi Harry.” She says, adding a book to the stack. Harry blushes at her tone again, she’s hard to read. “Um… do you happen to have burning in water, drowning in flame?” He asks, whirling around her display of different styles and colors of bookmarks. He is a twenty six year old man, why is acting like one of his students who thinks he’s handsome? Y/n laughs, nodding while she pulls her mug up to her lips- Harry thinks it’s hot chocolate (and he’s right). “It’s in poetry, first aisle, third shelf, second row.” She says, impressing Harry in how she has memorized every single spot of her book store.

Harry gives her a tight nod, walking over to the poetry section and looking for the book. “Is this your place?” Harry asks, making conversation while the rest of the store is dead silent.

“Yeah, me and Milo live in the flat upstairs.” Y/n admits. Harry’s ears perk up, she didn’t say anything about a partner. He walks back to the counter placing his book down, not handing it over to her yet. “When did you open this place?” He questions, looking around the shop. He sees some crystals, some candles- that both look up for sale and also her personal ones. It’s cute.

“After I got pregnant with Milo. Right after Xavier left me.” She says, leaving Harry wondering. “Xavier is…?” Y/n sighs, rolling her eyes a bit. It’s only their second time meeting and she’s already giving him her sob story. “He’s what would be Milo's father.” She says, picking at her bare nails. She doesn’t consider Xavier Milo's father, he’s never been there for him so he’s not a father. Harry’s lips form a tight line, “um, Loralies mum died… so… we’ve all got baggage.” He laughs, trying to cut the tension.

Loralies mum had died, she died during childbirth. She already had a particularly painful and rough pregnancy with Lora and that was just extremely unexpected, Harry just thanks his stars everyday that his little one is safe with him. “That’s awful, Harry. I‘m sorry.” Harry smiles at her, “it’s okay. I’ve got my Lora so I’m okay.” Y/n nods, smiling and grabbing the book from between his fingers. “She’s a sweet girl.” She compliments.

Harry nods, feeling a little cocky over how well he has raised his daughter. “Is this all for you?” She asks, pulling out a small brown bag with the logo and name on it- they are cute. “Yes please.” Harry politely says, making her laugh under her breath. “If this is your first time here? You get a free bookmark with every book you purchase if it is.” She says, nodding over to the bookmarks. Harry nods, looking through the bookmarks and picking a random Fleetwood Mac one- cute, he thinks. Y/n adds the bookmark to the bag, setting it infront of him. “13.22” she says, Harry fishing his wallet out.

“Are you doing a lot today?” He asks, motioning down to all the books stacked around her while he hands her a ten and four singles. She shrugs, “the usual.” Y/n says, handing him back his change. Harry thinks for a second, pausing his response making Y/n a little nervous. “I could help?” Harry offers, setting his coffee on the table. Y/n gives him a questionable look, sharpening one of her eyes at him. “You want to put tags on books and reorganize with me?” She asks, making Harry laugh. He nods, putting a bookmark back in its place “see, I’m already helping.” He says cheekily.

Y/n smiles, shaking her head. “I guess you can help.” She says.

Soon enough they are sat on the brown carpet, mountains of books around them. Y/n has a blanket wrapped around her and Harry has his legs stretched out. Y/n is tagging books while Harry is setting by the book shelf closest to them organizing. “I swear they put something in the water fountain at that school, the kids are always running and screaming around my classroom while I’m trying to talk about how Van Gogh cut off his own ear.” Harry says, making Y/n loudly giggle, thinking about how Milo probably gives him a horrible time on Wednesdays.

“You like working where Loralie is?” She asks, Harry of course nodding. Loralie is his baby, he loves knowing she’s just up the stairs- especially if she were to get sick or hurt he would be right there to take care of her. “Yeah, I wish I could always be with Milo but one of us has to make the money.” She jokes which makes Harry laugh.

“She always comes waddling into my classroom screaming for me- which disrupts the class but I don’t care.” He shrugs, his mind going back to Loralie. “Oh shit, I’ve got to pick her u-“

“Hi! How are you, baby!” Y/n cheers, Milo running toward her then crashing into her in a hug. Y/n’s friend Mikaela had babysat Milo for the day while Y/n tried to get as much work done as she could. Usually on the weekends (like today) Milo will be in the store with her… which tends to distract her. “Um, I’ve got to go but we should do this again? Maybe… over dinner?” Harry asks, Y/n’s face lighting up.

“Are you asking me on a date?” She teases, Harry blushing and nodding. Y/n laughs, slipping her phone from her pocket, “take my number and we can schedule that date you’re begging me for.” She teases.

Harry gets her number, thanking her for the book and letting him stay before he slips out. Now he’s got to get back to Loralie. But he’s got a date!

Later that night when Harry and Loralie are practicing her memorizing her ABCs his phone beeps. He ignores his at first, just expecting it to be a stupid text from his friend Mitch, but once he looks down he sees Y/n’s contact name. “Keep going, bug.” Harry says, grabbing his phone from the carpet while they set on the floor of the living room, unlocking his phone.

Hii, im free next Friday :) let me know if that works with your schedule!

Harry laughs at her cute little smiley faces, trying to think up a response that doesn’t make him sound a thousand years older than her. The tip of his tongue sticks out while he types back his response, his eyebrows knitted in concentration.

Hello! Friday works, how about 5:30? I can pick you up.

He lays his phone back down and helps Loralie with her letters, pulling her onto his lap. “D is for Daddy!” She cheers, making Harry smile, chuckling and kissing her round cheeks while she squeals. Harry hears his phone ding, grabbing it and reading the response, thanking god she answered. He thought his heart would explode out of his chest. It was beating so hard.

That sounds good ☺️ see you then!

Harry got her to say yes, but now he has to deal with the anxiety of actually going on the date. What should he wear, where should they go? Should he be opening the door and pulling out her chair or is that not in-in dating anymore? He hasn’t dated since Loralies mum and his baby is two years old now, it’s been quite a long time since he dipped his toe into trying to charm a woman. He just hopes he’s still got it.

****************************

The day is here. Loralie is with her grandma so Harry can get ready for the date. He’s been panicking and running all around his little house. He showered and smothered himself in lotion and his best cologne- he wanted to smell nice for her. He was adding leave in conditioner to his hair (which he hardly remembers to do) to make it more silky and the curls look a bit prettier than they usually do- he doesn’t know much about hair, he just does what his sister tells him what his hairdresser tells him he should do.

He planned out an outfit, a pair of tan dress pants with a white tank top and a cardigan over it. He had thought over the outfit a bit too much, was it too casual for the date? Was the cardigan too much? He decided against his thoughts and layers some pearls on, sliding his rings on that were in a jewelry dish, placed in there before his shower. He takes a look in the mirror, readjust his cardigan before he gives himself a little nod. He feels good about this.

He makes his way over to Y/n flat, walking up the metal steps to her flat and knocking on the door. When she opens the door he notices just how amazing her home smells, just like her book shop. He needs to remember to ask her where she gets her candles. “Hi,” Harry smiles, looking his date up and down. She was dressed nicely. It was a sage green dress with spaghetti straps, it stopped a couple inches above her knee. Harry thought it was cute.

She paired it with gold jewelry and a black cross body bag. Dirty white vans to go along with it that added a child-like feel to the outfit. Harry thought that was cute too.

“Hi,” she smiles, glancing behind her. “You look nice.” Harry says, suddenly feeling hot. Y/n laughs under her breath, thanking him. “You look nice as well.” Harry smiles bashfully, looking down at his feet. “Thank you”

Y/n says her goodbyes to Milo, hugging and kissing him before thanking her friend again for watching him. It’s the same one from last week, Mikaela. They get into Harry’s car, a bit of awkward silent before Y/n breaks it, Harry stopping the tapping of his fingers along to the low radio once her voice interrupts it. “So, where are we going?” She asks, smoothing her dress out against her thighs.

Harry laughs, he’s not prepared for dates and for some reason he hadn’t thought about the most important part. “I’ll eat anywhere to be honest.” Y/n admits, looking through her window at all the different places.

Harry was looking around in a panic and he finally pulled something out of his ass that sounded good, especially on his teacher salary. “Olive Garden?” Harry says, trying to say it confidently but it definitely comes out as more of a question. Y/n’s eyes light up, she’s in the mood for bottomless salad and breadsticks. “That sounds heavenly.” And Harry is happy to hear that.

They walk into the busy restaurant, instantly getting escorted to a table. Harry is happy they didn’t have to wait- that would have just been embarrassing since he threw this together last minute. They sat in the booth, sliding in and getting comfortable. “So, how’s the bookstore?” Harry asks, pulling apart his breadstick. Y/n knocks her shoe with his under the table, she thinks it’s cute how bashfully he can get when just asking a simple question. “It’s good. How are your little art students?” Harry playfully rolls his eyes at her choice of words.

“It’s good. They are doing self portraits.” Y/n laughs, her eyes widening.

“How’s that going?” Harry laughs, shaking his head. “They look like shittier versions of Picasso’s paintings.” Y/n dramatically gasps through her laughs, “aren’t you supposed to worship the ground that man walks on? Why would you say that?” Harry rolls his eyes once again, chuckling at her. “I’m just behind honest!”

Their date goes on the same, they order their food, giggling while they eat and even getting into a little food fight with the leftover breadsticks. (They weren't being humble, they asked for another basket) They finished their food, “That was fun.” Y/n admits smiling. Harry nods, taking the check and opening his wallet. “Here,” y/n holds out her card, Harry shaking his head. “I’ll pay.” Harry shrugs her off, handing his card tucked in the black check book the waiter had brought over back to him before she can further protest.

Y/n scoffs, throwing another breadstick at him that he tried to catch but it’s too greasy. “Hey! I thought we had a truce?!” Harry questions her. She shakes her head, apparently swearing off the truce. Harry shrugs, thanking the waiter when he brings his card back along with their mints. “You better sleep with one eye open then.” Harry says, standing up and waiting for her. She laughs, standing up and pulling her bag over her shoulder. “I have a three year old, I basically sleep with them both open. You’re nothin’.” She says, Harry nodding his head in agreement. He knows just how she feels.

They drive back to her flat, Harry of course walking her to her door. “I had so much fun tonight.” Harry says, looking down before he looks up at Y/n. She smiles, blushing. She hasn’t dated since Xavier and she admired that to Harry tonight, they both admitted that they haven’t dated since their children’s parents so they felt a lot comfortable knowing they were both rusty.

“Me too, you’re a really sweet guy, Harry.” She says. She needs to remember to thank her forgetful little Milo for leaving his folder in Harry’s classroom. “Thanks for agreeing to go out with me. I was pretty nervous.” Harry admits a bit sheepishly. Harry is a bit giddy on the inside about them hitting it off so well, they were having the best conversation and at times they were getting extremely loud, probably annoying the people around them, but they didn’t care, they had fun. “Yeah, I was nervous as hell but I haven’t had this much fun in a while. Thanks for tonight.” Y/n smiles, leaning in for a kiss.

Harry’s eyes widen, but he still kisses her back. He hasn’t kissed anyone in so long he thought he had forgot how to for a second. His hands come up to cup her jaw, moving his lips with hers. “I’ll see you soon. Have a good night.” Y/n smiles, opening her door with red cheeks. Harry nods, a little flabbergasted. “Have a good night.” He says, trudging down her steps.

And now he’s hooked on her.

Tag list: @romionefp @iaalien @hopeyoustaythenight @evanjh

If you liked this please reblog and please tell me what you thought of it ☺️ thank you for reading!! I hope you all like the series so far I’m writing part three right now so it should come out soon ❤️‍🔥❤️‍🔥

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