#I’m working through my chronological list of sci fi classics

[aibidil]

Odd John by Olaf Stapledon (1935) has to be THE most neurodivergent book I’ve ever read

[sobdasha]

"I definitely updated my list of books I was reading on tumblr so it's all good" -me, a lying liar, right before spending several months finishing my reread of All The Discworld Books I Own But In Chronological Order For The First Time Ever Which In Fact Makes A Difference.

(and then I did it again after the libraries closed)

The Left Hand of Darkness, Ursula K. Le Guin Hm, so. I definitely read this. At some point. It was not really for me, not bad, but not really for me. This particular edition had various notes before and after the text, all of which I read, which made it an experience I got more out of. It's important for me to know that the author is aware that the protagonist is a raging misogynist who's stupid, and yes this was on purpose so you'd realize how really incredibly stupid he is and thus maybe be tricked into changing your mind yourself. It is a legit tactic, but one I tend not to enjoy, so if I hadn't been forewarned I'd have been UUUUGGGGGHHHH MAKE HIM SHUT UP ALREADY and probably rage-quit. As it was, I was able to better appreciate what Le Guin was doing here, even if this book didn't win a place in my heart and I probably won't reread. I definitely preferred Ancillary Justice's take, with the feminine pronouns. For my brain, masculine pronouns = they might as well all be men = business as usual = I didn't really get any gender queering from it. I can't really remember much else now. Oh, it was also part "survival in the wilderness" story, which they're big on making you read in school (which I find very suspicious), and which I tolerated and read a few classic ones on my own until they kept assigning these kinds of stories for us to read and now I get nothing from them and mindlessly hate them. Anyway, as I said, not bad at all but not really for me.

Lavinia, Ursula K. Le Guin This one's a reread--I picked it up from the library during college because we were doing Titus Andronicus in class and it didn't occur to me that there might be more than one Lavinia???? But hey it worked out because later in college we did the Aeneid and then I had Background for rereading Lavinia. This is the book that is lyrical and beautiful and pulls me in and makes me care deeply about the world and the characters. This is the book of Le Guin's that makes me feel the way everyone else feels about Earthsea and The Left Hand of Darkness and etc. I would like to find more of Le Guin's work that makes me feel the same way, because as I've said you can really tell from her other stuff that she's a solid writer who knows her stuff. I just…don't enjoy any of the other things. Anyway I recommend. I always forget about this book, and then when I reread I'm like "wow why don't I read this more often?????"

How Long 'Til Black Future Month?, N. K. Jemisin I liked every story in this short story collection. I should just reread it and try writing this up again tbh but also tbh I'll probably do the rereading and then just not write anything up again. Just read Jemisin's stuff I love her writing so much okay. ETA: that’s exactly what I did, I reread this during my covid rereads and said “I should do a proper write-up this time” and lo and behold where is it

Tehanu, Ursula K. Le Guin Okay, this last Earthsea book treated me much better than the others. It's probably not for everyone else, which might be why it's for me. It's much more domestic, much less "plot" happening, full of introspection, and centered on women rather than men. This novel acknowledges and confronts the rampant internalized misogyny in the previous three books, engages it in a way that the misandrist in me finds satisfying even though it never comes to a good solution for the problem. This book is more like a reflection. Earthsea has never been about "light is always good, dark is always bad; be a hero, fight evil" etc. But this one I think shifts the tone a little farther; it's less about balance, and more...I guess I'd put it as, "actions have consequences." It's not concerned with right or wrong, it's concerned with people getting hurt. It's pretty somber and serious, without any humor to balance it out, tons of bad things happen to people, lots of PTSD...but this time I really cared about the characters, and I feel like it was all handled really well? In addition to critiquing internalized misogyny, it also critiqued victim blaming. Seemed like it handled disability pretty well too--was honest about how people are jerks about it in reality, while still being optimistic and treating Therru as valuable; made occasional mentions of considering work-arounds for having only one fully-functional hand, while mostly just having Therru go about living and doing chores and being capable and assuming she did find those work-arounds without having to draw attention to it; and Therru's terrible scars didn't get magically healed at the end, the whole book makes a point all the way through that her physical scars will always be with her the same way her emotional scars will be, and she's simply learned how to go on living with them. Tehanu: a book full of trauma happening to people, where what would normally be the plot in a fantasy novel ended up not even getting started to be resolved, but Le Guin's writing and handling of the subject matter helped heal my jaded soul.

Ninefox Gambit, Yoon Ha Lee A quick summary of my experience: Chapter 1 - ohhhhhhhhhhhhhh what is going on what even Chapter 2 - no, no this is just, this is what sci fi is like, right? Just give it a few chapters and then by the end of the book everything will probably make sense. I'm sure that's how it works. Remember how even in Ancillary Justice I ended up with two separate Battles of Valskay, but now everything is fine??? It's. Fine. Chapter 4 - (ohhhhhhh I still don't know what's going on) Several Chapters Later - still no clue what's going on, but hit my stride with the terminology, my foreign language instinct kicked in where words stopped sounding weird and while I could not for the life of me define any terms for you, I had a vague comprehension of how the words operated In Context. Sort of. And by then I had, without realizing it, begun page-turning and binging, so I guess I liked the book lol! Another serious-but-not-funny one, but with an extra dose of War Memoir and all the gruesomeness that entails (but probably, like any good War Memoir, probably not actually gratuitous and actually in fact the necessary amount of gruesome). Jedao was turned into a woobie at the last minute and, well, damn, guy knows the way to my heart. The novel apparently gripped me enough that I don't even mind that it only came into play at the very end of the game. And hey, there's two more novels to deal with that revelation, which I have picked up from the library to read immediately! Yay! Current personal theory: based on the heavy math references that made me want to cry at the start, but the almost entire absence of actual numbers, and a reference to "there's no way actual physics works like that, it was obviously a calendrical effect" or something…I'm going to throw out a wild guess that the calendar stuff (and all the social structuring that goes with it) is so that they can break and reinvent math. So they can effect a universe where 2+2=5 and therefore a bunch of people standing in this exact position makes a force field or bullets of rose thorns or whatever and some other dude can make himself immortal. This sounded like a pretty terrible theory already and it sounds even worse now I've typed it up but oh well.

Raven Stratagems, Yoon Ha Lee Guess who didn't write this up back when she read it!!! Also, I returned Ninefox Gambit to the library right before the libraries shut down for covid. So, I had Raven and Revenant on hand for months but I didn't have Ninefox on hand to do an immediate reread to see if that made the sci fi make more sense. (It probably wouldn't have, but I would have liked to do a rereading while the ending was still fresh.) By this time there is a lesser degree of visceral viscera. Lee is brutal, however, about continuing to be honest about what war costs and whether war is worth that cost (which depends, really, on whose lives you think matter. Very relevant for these times. Very much prepared me to shut up and not whine about the inconveniences of protests and their fallout. There is no pretty and clean way to have a revolution, since it involves destroying a particular [terrible] way of life, so we're all just gonna have to sacrifice together). Also I think by this point all the character development from the first novel paid off in the form of character dynamics being hilarious now despite, y’know, the gruesome shadow of war.

Revenant Gun, Yoon Ha Lee Continues to discuss the honest price of war and the messiness of fallout. Shuos "The risks I took were calculated, but boy am I bad at math" Jedao. Oh I think this is also the one where every so often one of the characters thinks, "Okay so this person is a tyrannical murderous dictator but he is ensuring that there will never again be food shortages and no one in the space empire ever goes hungry." And then Lee turns around and is like, "Haha but don't forget this same person invented a form of vital infrastructural technology (and also immortality) that is optionally based off ritual human torture sacrifice. Like he didn't have to do that to make it work. He just decided to anyway. And that's always bad :) " (Also useful in our current climate of "Okay but we should consider the other person's circumstances and point of view" and also "Yeah but that doesn't apply if they're literally Nazis tho.")

Hexarchate Stories, Yoon Ha Lee A collection of short stories set in the universe of those three books. There's one story at the end that does satisfy the "But I wanted another sequel!!!" urge. And there's a bit of backstory for Jedao and Cheris. But by and large what you should be in the mood to read is flash fiction snippets that simply happen to be set in the same universe but have no bearing on the plot. Which is pretty cool and interesting if you are in the proper mindset! Even better, Lee includes author's notes at the end of each story to talk about the story, or the influences, or the context of his life at the time, etc etc. That is always my absolute favorite part of a short story collection. Also these notes told me everything I needed to know about why I liked certain things about his writing. "I wanted to write my own AUs," "If I get stuck I go on TV Tropes," "My only regret is that I had to cut the scene where Jedao goes to ~Halloween~ dressed as himself and trolls people" ahhhh that's also a regret I share.

Dragon Pearl, Yoon Ha Lee This one is YA! There is a lot less gore although I guess there was still genocide! Read this when you are in the mood for something that doesn't attempt to hide the fact that the plot is completely, conveniently contrived to give you fast-paced action and fun. Min sure has a lot of coincidental meetings that should stretch my disbelief but I don't care. Also, I am enjoying reading books with girls as protagonists that do what I'm tired of being told to love about boy protagonists--just keep barreling along with complete self-assurance that you are right and, if you run into trouble, you can egotistically figure your way out.

The Hundred Thousand Kingdoms, N. K. Jemisin Gods and mortal ruling family's messy soap opera sexcapades is not exactly my favorite genre, but luckily it is handled by Jemisin so it's all good. Lots of Souma Family Values. I'm really appreciating how Jemisin considers choice of narrator very carefully and uses it to brilliant effect in this trilogy. Stories are things told by a narrator to an audience; why should we rely on the artifice of an "impartial" "reliable" "omniscient" 3rd person narrator writing into the void? This trilogy was Jemisin's first, I believe, so it's a little awkward coming back to them now, only because Jemisin is such a powerful writer that the themes she's begun working with here have only gotten stronger with each successive work.

The Broken Kingdoms, N. K. Jemisin This one I rated as I read for Protagonist Is Blind based on the scale of a sighted person going "but some of my best friends are blind!" In that regard, I think the book does really well! Blindness doesn't define Oree's life and value; Oree doesn't get magical powers that make her a blind person who isn't really blind; Oree moves away from home and gets a job and lives on her own which seems very accurate to me based on my knowledge of one (1) person who is blind; instead of being ~cured~, Oree actually gets more blind at the end of the story and this is considered a Good Ending. Also personal bonus points are awarded for references to her stick being handy for hitting people with. Some stuff was stereotypical, but Jemisin's intent was not. A+, will read again, please support including way more characters who are blind in media. Anyway I enjoyed this one.

The Kingdom of Gods, N. K. Jemisin First off, Jemisin directly up front critiques the narration choices she made in the first two books and then pays it off like a boss at the end. Like holy crap. I admit by now I was getting a bit bored of the genre, but the book was still very engaging because Jemisin is a master. It may also have been affected by how much increasing pain I've been in lately.

The Awakened Kingdom, N. K. Jemisin I'm dead. This one was way more my speed and you need the other three books to understand this novella but ohhhh my god it's perfect. I read a lot of choice passages of this aloud to my roommate because how could you resist. It's still heavy but it's hilarious. Bless Shill.

[p-and-p-admin]

Interview given to The Severus Snape and Hermione Granger Shipping Fan Group.  (sharing here Admin approved)

https://www.facebook.com/groups/199718373383293/

Hello Aurette and welcome to Behind the Quill, thank-you for letting us get to know you a little better.

I'm deeply honoured to be asked.

A true titan in the world of SS/HG fic, many of our readers will have broken their hearts over your story The Tattered Man.

Okay, let’s jump right in.

What's the story behind your pen name?

Honestly, it was a whim. Long before I thought of writing, I needed a login name to read fanfic. It was a play on Auror. I had no idea it was an actual name.

Which Harry Potter character do you identify with the most?

Hands down, Snape. I know that might sound strange, but he was the one that clicked. My niece introduced me to the books. Being in my 30s at the time, I already had kids of my own, so I didn't identify as one of the students. I loved Harry from the start but he had this uncanny ability to keep being wrong about nearly everything. The character who best expressed adult annoyance with that was Snape. And I do love a good jerk. Snape was a jerk.

Do you have a favourite genre to read? 

I'm a sucker for fantasy and science fiction. I hated reading as a child. All there was available when I was a kid was Nancy Drew and Hardy Boys and it was insipid. I glommed on to mythology early but once I'd read all the books in my library on the subject, I gave up reading at all. That was about 4th grade. Children's books in the 70s were total garbage and YA books only had one author: Judy Bloom.

Ironically, my first job was working in a bookstore. It was a college bookstore, so it was all textbooks. I wasn't even a student, so I had no interest in any of them. One semester. A Lit prof assigned Fahrenheit 451. The cover art caught my eye and I read the blurb. Then started reading the book. I finished it in about 5hrs. It blew my mind. I had no idea writing like that existed. And the book was about someone discovering the value of books. It was intellectual Inception waaaaay before that was a thing.

After that, it was like a switch flipped in my head. I sucked up books air. I was never without a book or two. Or three...

Do you have a favourite "classic" novel?

Obviously Fahrenheit 451. I'm going to go ahead and say Les Miserables as well. I was in my 30s when I finally read it and sobbed like a baby at the ending. The care and tenderness Hugo showed when portraying these disposable lives were so unique for that age. Sadly, even today. A lot of our culture is wrapped around the belief that only the wealthy have value and beauty is a pathway to wealth. The poor and ugly are a constant plague to be shunned or dealt with, not humans with crushed dreams that deserve to be valued in their own right. Look at how often fanfic recreatesSnape as handsome or Hermione as gorgeous. Those are always the least interesting stories. (hops off soapbox)

At what age did you start writing?

Whatever age I was when I wrote Safe House. Probably 40ish? That terrible little fanfic is literally the first thing I ever wrote beyond shopping lists and emails. It's an ugly child, but my first, so I love its pointy head. I intentionally leave it up so new writers can see my learning curve. No one starts out good. Read my stories in reverse chronological order and you'll see they get a little worse each time. That's how much I grew as I learned the craft.

How did you get into writing fanfiction?

Reading tons of it. I was at a total loss after the book Deathly Hallows came out and it was all over. Reading it had become an event in my house. My husband and I would snatch the book out of each other's hands "You've had it long enough. My turn." And then there were no more...

I couldn't even tell you how I found fanfic, but it kept me sane. I keyed in on SS/HG because at the time there was a noticeable difference in the talent level in that ship. I must have read SS/HG fanfic for a solid 2 yrs before I took a leap and wrote my own. I was inspired by the amazing stories, but also by the crappy ones.  "Heck, I could do better" became its own form of allowance. So I had a small 'what if' and just went for it. Of course, it was crap, everyone's first is. But taking the leap and writing it was a huge thing for me to have done.

What's the best theme you've ever come across in a fic? Is it a theme represented in your own works?

I'm a sucker for a story where characters overcome emotional adversity, both external and internal. If you squint. You'll see that theme repeated throughout my fics.

What fandoms are you involved in other than Harry Potter?

None. Nothing else ever grabbed me as a sandbox I wanted to play in before or after HP.

If you could make one change to canon, what would it be? Do you have a favourite piece of fanon?

Gosh, I don't think I would change a thing about JK Rowling's work. Things I would change would only be me forcing her story to fit my preferred ideal. However, if you think about it, her world, the good and the bad,  challenged all of us to churn out 100,000+ what ifs. Some out of anger. Heh.

As for fav piece of fanon, probably that Malfoy jr was Snape's godson. He's totally not, but whoever started that created a great layering of the dynamic between them that you can share in so many tones.

Do you listen to music when you write or do you prefer quiet?  

I was a stay-at-home mom when I was writing most of my fanfics, so I wrote in a chaotic and very noisy environment. I didn't listen to music when I wrote, but music was often the inspiration. When I would get stuck in writing, I would leave it and go listen to music that was emotionally similar to where I wanted the story to be while I thrashed out plot points. Colossus by Afro Celt Sound System is amazing for plotting a prelude to a battle.

What are your favourite fanfictions of all time?

Gosh, there are so many. Sadly, many of the authors who first inspired me are gone and pulled their fics off the web, like my fanfic bestie Dressagegrrrl. I would have to call out Pet Project by Caeria as the one I found most inspiring.  Anything by ApolloniaV is pretty high up there in my book. There are dozens I'm forgetting. There was one called Resurrection Man about Snape accidentally creating a hilarious Zombie apocalypse. Best. Fic. Ever. It disappeared from the web when the author moved on. An incredible loss.

Are you a plotter or a pantser? How does that affect your writing process?

Total pantser. The obvious effect is to drive the story right off a cliff and be unable to salvage it. It's why I vowed to never start posting until I had a rough draft ending. Too many dead stories waiting for an ending that never came. But an outline for me is a killer in disguise. I lose interest in telling the tale because I already did in the outline. The fun part is over. Sitting at a keyboard typing your fingers off, while muttering, "What the hell are these people doing? Who's writing this stuff?!" is an amazing experience.

What is your writing genre of choice?

In fanfic, I ran with every genre there was. Mostly I wanted to see if there was one I couldn't tackle.  Most of my o-fic is a hard-to-define mishmash of fantasy and sci-fi. I want to write romance, but it always turns into something complicated and angsty that no longer fits the box.

Which of your stories are you most proud of? Why?

The Tattered Man.

Did it unfold as you imagined it or did you find the unexpected cropped up as you wrote?

It came off exactly as I'd planned in my head. A rare occurrence for me.

What did you learn from writing it?

I could make people cry with my words. Up to that point, I'd made readers laugh and yell and blush, but to get a reader to the point of actually weeping? That's not easy. JK Rowling did it with ease. It was a challenge.

How personal is the story to you, and do you think that made it harder or easier to write?

It's very personal. My father had just died.  He'd had cancer, and it might have got him in the end, but what actually killed him was being sent home with a feeding tube and the wrong instructions. None of the homecare nurses realized the mistake until his kidneys shut down. It was devastating. When I next took up writing, I was still hurting so I tried to make others feel what I felt at a death that didn't have to be. It was crazy easy to write. I wrote it all in one day. Based on the reviews, I achieved my goal. It helped me work through my loss. Pretty sure I gave a few readers PTSD. My bad.

What books or authors have influenced you?

My all-time favourite book is Iain M. Banks' Use of Weapons. Definitely a classic among the eighteen people in the United States that read it. The man was a shockingly gifted author and I was devastated when he passed away. His ability to just drop you into the action from the first page and not bother to explain what's going on is sadistic genius.

How do you think that shows in your writing?

It led to my belief that a writer is always better when they assume their readers are smart. Grab their interest and just run. They'll catch on and even pass you with their theories of what's going to happen next. I've no patience with stories that spell out everything in minute detail. They're tedious and insulting. Less really is more. On the other hand, writing over your reader's head is just as annoying. Intentionally using obscure SAT words in your story just makes you a pretentious twat. Unless your character is a pretentious twat and it's part of the dialogue.  In that case, twat away. *gigglesnort*

Do people in your everyday life know you write fanfiction?

My family all knew. They were tremendously supportive. Especially Mr. Aurette, my personal Snape. Outside of my family, I was less forthcoming. Mostly because it was so crazy hard to explain. I think it's a lot less weird now, but back then? It was far more stigmatized.

How true for you is the notion of "writing for yourself"?

That's a hard one. For someone who'd never tried to write a story before, it was an amazing journey to realise what I could do. That changed me forever. Having the instant feedback of reviews was intrinsic to that experience. The downside is you can get sucked into writing for reviewers, and they will tell you clearly what they want and expect.  That can stifle. I knew no one wanted The Tattered Man to end the way it did. I was pretty terrified of the reaction. But it's what I wanted. It was the entire point. I wrote that ending for myself, but I cowered after posting.

How important is it for you to interact with your audience? How do you engage with them? Just at the point of publishing? Through social media?

I absolutely loved interacting with my readers. I made some real-life friends and some really great fic buddies all over the world. I watched them become friends in reviews too. It was a really great experience. Spam-posting a fic would often take on a festival atmosphere. Unfortunately, when my review count started to really take off, I couldn't cope with the sheer numbers the same way. There weren't enough hours on the day to reply to everyone. Trying to personalize my response to a review grew overwhelming. I actually grew quite depressed over it. Connecting on a more removed, professional level seemed cold. I connected the most on Livejournal when that was a thing. But I had to back off. "Aurette" became far more witty and wonderful than I was in real life. Everyone wanted a piece of her. I couldn't keep up with the bitch. Lol.  I faded away from most interactions on social media out of self-preservation. Even tiny fame can make you whacko.

What is the best advice you've received about writing?

There's a few that come to mind.

1-If you want to be a better writer, kill every adverb you come across.

2-Read your words out loud to yourself. If you run out of breath, your reader will run out of patience at that exact point.

3-Dressagegrrrl was the one that finally made me see how playing POV ping pong within a scene was something that marked my writing as an amateur.

4-Stop trying to be clever. Be clever, if you are clever, but don't try. It comes off hamfisted every time. Readers hate that.

5-Never, ever, ever post something you wrote that day. You've left half of it in your head and you can't tell. It's awful.

6-If you're not even a little embarrassed by something you wrote 6 months ago, you're no longer growing as a writer.

What do you do when you hit writer's block?

That's a bit of a sticking point. Stress is a muse-killer. Anything you can do to rid yourself of stress will help. Writer's block is usually the result of something going on elsewhere in your life. Fix that and the creativity will come back.

That said, my life has turned into constant stress with the result being I no longer write at all.

Has anything in real life trickled down into your writing?

Everything has. 'Write what you know' is true for fantasy too. Whether it's heartbreak, or a drunken hookup that turned into love (Hello, Mr. Aurette) or a moment when you were a child and ignored or teased, or maybe the bully, all of it makes it's way into the emotional truth of a scene or character, no matter how outlandish the setting.

Do you have any stories in the works? Can you give us a teaser?

I have a Dropbox full of stories I've run into the wall or had to leave half finished, both fanfic and o-fic. No teasers, because at this point I don't think they will ever see the light of day. Never say never, but the light of hope is dim.

Any words of encouragement to other writers?

Anyone can write and everyone has something to say. Be open to the process. Part of that process involves having a stranger tell you that your shiny new love is really shit. Being defensive only prolongs your shittiness. Embrace criticism. Sometimes,  the process of justifying something can actually buttress your choice, so you double down with better results. Other times, you'll see your idea wasn't working after all. Be ruthless in your editing, but don't delete. That scene you cut because it caused everything to go off the rails could be a different story trying to get out. Take that leap, you fail at everything you don't try, so why not try something you really want?

Thanks so much for giving us your time.

It's been my pleasure.  Thank you for the opportunity.  *waves to my readers*

[that-shamrock-vibe]

Movie Review: Avengers Endgame (Spoilers)

Spoiler Warning: I cannot stress this enough, if you have made it this far without seeing Avengers: Endgame yet and have avoided spoilers...DO NOT READ ON. If you have seen the movie then feel free but if you have not do not ruin it for yourself.

Time Travel Trouble:

Alright so I mentioned in my non-spoiler review that a sci-fi element of the movie frustrated me. This was the already established plot-device of time-travel used in the movie.

Now we knew that the Avengers were going to travel through time to some degree in the movie, however what was kept brilliantly secret was how they travelled, when they travelled and where they travelled.

In order to stop Thanos, the Avengers decide to travel in time via the Quantum Realm and retrieve the Infinity Stones before Thanos did, however because they have limited Pym Particles to travel with they decide to pick moments in their own history where the stones are most likely to be and split into three teams each picking a year and place.

All that is great and made for a very fun story, however as with any movie or TV series to deal in time-travel, which is even commented on in this movie with Rhodey and Ant-Man listing the amount of movies to fall victim to these tropes, there always seem to be a case of fixing one problem but causing another and...with the exception of one event back in the time of the first Avengers movie, these problems were apparently all resolved.

However, two big things happened in this movie that should have had lasting damage on the last 11 years of the MCU.

The first is that when the New York team went back to the events of the first Avengers movie, they intercepted the original Avengers team who had the Tesseract and Loki in custody, but because of some minor team malfunction, surprisingly not caused by the time-travelling team, Loki managed to escape custody with the Tesseract.

The second is that the main sightings of Thanos in this movie is from a past version back in 2014 at the time of the first Guardians movie travelling to the movie’s present day of 2023. However, because the epic end to this movie culminates in this Thanos being poetically dusted, everything that chronologically followed for Thanos after 2014 should have been erased. Infinity War should not have happened in this reality yet everyone still remembers everything.

I love time travel stories because they do kind of venture into the “What if” scenarios that I like to see, but to this day I do not think I have seen one play out where audiences haven’t left going “But shouldn’t this be different? or “Shouldn’t he not be around now?”, it drives me crazy.

I’m going to do a separate post focusing on the time travel ventures in this movie where I will definitely be going into more detail.

Characters:

Alright so brace yourself because I am going in and going deep on these characters, again ranked both in order of my favourites and most important to the story.

Iron Man:

We have to start with Tony Stark because not only was he the one who started off the entire MCU but his last words in this movie seemingly sent the Infinity Saga into full circle going from narcissistic billionaire to selfless superhero.

It was always going to be Cap or Iron Man as the big death of the movie and I don’t think Iron Man fans will have a reason to be disappointed in this because of the work RDJ has done not only in this movie but in the entire MCU.

There are so many great moments for Iron Man in this movie that you can kind of tell he will meet his end by the end of the movie because that is what awaits the man who has everything.

When Tony and Nebula are rescued from the coldness of space, Tony freaks out at the loss they suffered during Infinity War and decides to quit being a superhero.

Five years pass and Tony is now married to Pepper and has a daughter, however when Cap and friends approach him about a way to fix reality, he eventually succumbs to the hubris and sets about helping to change destiny.

RDJ’s classic whit and emotion that have helped shape this version of Iron Man are in full swing during the course of this movie. You believe Tony Stark would joke about selling his daughter’s toys if she didn’t go to bed, you believe after 6 years of trying to save the world only to be fought on every decision leading up to the world being destroyed that he hold resentment and hostility towards Cap and the team, you believe all of it.

Also, Tony and Cap going back in time to 1970 and Tony coming face-to-face with his deceased father who cannot be much older than him at that point, was a heart-tugger as you kind of do want Tony to have that moment with his parent that Thor had.around the same time in the movie, but more so because we have learned of the hostile relationship Tony and Howard had throughout the past 11 years.

I did find it interesting that once they got all the Infinity Stones from the past, an Iron Man armour gauntlet was used as a replacement Infinity Gauntlet. I know the original Gauntlet was made out of the same metal that Thor’s weapons are made out of. but I was slightly confused on the fact Iron Man’s armor could take the power of all six stones.

Tony’s insistence on making sure his current state of life stays the same even after the second snap was, I think, the pivotal moment where everyone realised Tony has real investment in his life and the life of others. He has always been saying about trying to protect the world dating back to the Ultron debacle, but now he is hammering that home due to his marriage and his daughter but also Peter.

I thought it so poetic that Iron Man was the last hero standing against Thanos after Thor and Cap had been knocked out. Recongizing the fact that without the suit, Tony is really just about his brain rather than physical fighting so for him to not only be the last one standing, but also the one who started it all back in 2008 was poetic justice at it’s finest.

Captain America:

This is the first time in a long while I feel justified calling him Captain America, because he got the shield back, he shaved the beard, and he was in the blue which is Captain America for me.

I do enjoy Chris Evans in this role, not as much as everyone else seems to and I don’t see him as leading man material. However I do think, much like everyone else, he brought his best self to this movie.

I think right from the start when we see Cap trying to gather his team together even with Tony pretty much showing him up in front of everyone was very him. I did understand both sides of the argument but I do agree with Tony after Cap preaches after Ultron saying “Win lose we do it together” yet because of both their hubris after the Civil War incident, neither have communicated and thus Tony blames Steve for not being with him when everything went down.

Also Cap saying he doesn’t know what he’ll do if that confrontation with Thanos didn’t work out in their favour very much a last resorts moment, but then after Thanos was killed they still didn’t move on. This is very much Cap’s story all the way through the MCU and I love the fact it’s only really highlighted here.

He has never been able to move forward since coming out of the ice, he is the ultimate fish out of water but he masks it while there is still something to focus on. With no real mission or role anymore, Cap just becomes lost himself.

This is why I feel it’s great Natasha became the de facto leader of the Avengers while Cap becomes a support worker of sorts. He’s trying to find his place in the world now the world is no longer what is was.

For that reason, I understand why he was so willing to go along with the time travel angle. Bringing back everyone who they lost to the decimation is the best case scenario, however if for some reason they fail Cap doesn’t really have anything to lose.

You can tell the mutual admiration he and Tony have for each other even when they’re at logger-heads. This is shown when Tony returns to the Avengers Compound in renegade style and Cap just stands there and doesn’t even eye-roll he’s so used to it by now. Also Tony returns his shield so he can’t really complain.

When they went back in time and Cap, Tony, Bruce and Scott went to 2012, the fact Cap was smart in not only using his knowledge of Sitwell and Rumlow being HYDRA to obtain the scepter but then he was actually quite comedic in fighting himself only to then comment on his own arse.

I didn’t guess that when they went back in time to 1970 to get the Tesseract and Pym Particles that he was going to see Peggy, I know they didn’t see each other or interact but it didn’t clock that it was a possibility.

I also didn’t surmise that he would somehow find a way to end up staying with her, although I did think when Cap and Tony went back from 2012 to 1970 that Cap maybe wouldn’t make it back, I was wrong.

That final battle when it was Cap, Thor and Iron Man against Thanos was the stuff of legend. Not only was the fight just simply stunning but Chris Evans particularly really delivers in the physical acting of it, portraying the rage and determination he has for stopping the Mad Titan.

Then there’s the moment that got people clapping in the audience, Mjolnir is lifted from the ground and hurls towards Cap, Captain America can wield Mjolnir as many fans...and Thor...suspected from Avengers: Age of Ultron but to see it confirmed when he had the hammer and the shield was epic.

Also the fact that Falcon contacts him with that great throwback to that great banter they had during The Winter Soldier was such a sweet moment. Although it is weird that he then the first one to come through the portals but I digress.

It’s interesting that it was Cap who had to travel back in time and return the stones, maybe because Thor was so far gone he couldn’t be trusted or just because one of these stones was on Asgard, but I don’t know it served it’s purpose...and that is to give Steve Rogers his final send-off after Tony Stark had his.

It’s not quite “The Death of Captain America” that fans have wanted since Civil War but the fact he returns the stones but remains in 1970 to be with Peggy and live out their life together was a very touching way to say goodbye to the First Avenger.

The fact we see him as Old Man Cap on that bench overlooking the lake, and Falcon has that talk with him about how he finally got a life was almost like living out the last request of an old friend but also finally being able to live out his life.

I do think this is maybe the last time we see Steve Rogers as Captain America, especially now he’s passed on the shield and the mantle to Sam Wilson, if we do see him again it may just be a cameo or something but I think Chris Evans is done now with the MCU.

Black Widow:

Yes, my top three characters involve deaths, in fact four but I’ll get to that. However, it not just because these characters all essentially died that make them the top of the list, it is the way they did it.

This movie was the best I have seen Black Widow since The Winter Soldier and I credit the Russo Brothers and Scarlet Johansson for both. She only really came to life for me after the five year gap when her blonde hair has grown out leaving the red. As I said with Cap, the fact that she has become essentially the de facto leader of whatever version of the Avengers this future team is supposed to be was really her.

Let’s not forget Natasha is a former SHIELD agent and spy so she knows protocol and how to lead. As she said, the Avengers and SHIELD is really all the family she has ever known and so to lose essentially half of that is quite the blow. Also, let’s face it, the world doesn’t really need the Avengers anymore yet Nat is determined to keep the universe in order.

Also, Johansson’s acting in this movie just physically rather than verbally is the best I have seen from her. When Rhodey tells her about Clint and how he has been for several years, her reaction of trying to keep it all together until Rhodey hangs up was powerful for me.

The comedy she had as well here was rather good, her constant digs at Rocket were brilliant. From telling Scott that she can’t call him crazy because she gets emails from a raccoon to later when she and Hawkeye are on Vormir and she snaps when Hawkeye tries to correct her on him not being a raccoon by saying “Whatever, he eats garbage!” so funny.

Speaking of Hawkeye, I have missed him for many reasons but his connection with Natasha is up there in my list. The fact that she was the one who found him and brought him round and then they went together to Vormir only to find out that one of them had to die to get the Soul Stone.

I thought, like most originally, that Hawkeye would be the one to die because let’s face it as much as I like him he’s not the most popular, however when you reach that realisation that both want to sacrifice themselves for different reasons and it becomes a question of who can get there first, the fact they were both hanging off the cliff and you knew Black Widow would be the one to die but it was just such a great scene between such good friends and such a powerful end to the original female Avenger in the MCU...I loved it.

Also, this may be slightly morbid and I don’t know if it was intentional, but when Nat died and you had the same overhead shot as you did with Gamora, that blood pouring from her head seemed to blend in with the red colour of her hair and made her look like she had the original red hair she had during Iron Man 2.

I will go into reasons why I think her death either isn’t permanent or shouldn’t be when I talk about the time travel stuff in a separate post but I know Black Widow has a solo movie on the horizon so I am curious to see what they do with that. But if anyone still needs evidence Black Widow deserves her own movie, this movie is it.

Nebula:

I have loved this character since the first Guardians of the Galaxy. Karen Gillan has been an asset to this universe and one of its breakout stars along with Letitia Wright and Tom Holland.

I loved it during the beginning of the movie when Tony is teaching her about table football and he’s kind of acting like a carer or parent despite he’s the one who could easily die, in return she looks after him. It was a very touching montage of scenes in that opener.

Also that little moment with Rocket when she and Tony were rescued by Captain Marvel was very sweet. This movie was choc-full of emotions and I did not mind.

The time travel element in this movie was best suited for her, yes she was a plot device in it but it was so unexpected and so brilliant that I for once was able to just see is as part of the movie rather than just its own thing.

The fact that when Nebula travelled back to 2014, the Nebula of 2014 and her were linked and therefore shared the same memories was fecking genius. As a sci-fi geek, as a fan of cybernetics, I absolutely loved this scene and Karen Gillan sold the fact that it was two different Nebulas, the one we know in present day who has gone on this journey from villain to anti-hero and even possibly now hero, but then the 2014 Nebula who was full of rage and trying to please her father Thanos.

Past Thanos finding out about the Avengers’ plans this way was also rather organic. So when present-day Nebula was abducted by Thanos and 2014 Nebula convincingly traded places with her to return to the present. I didn’t even question the fact no one knew the difference because she would have had all the intel from present Nebula’s memories.

Past Gamora and present Nebula having a couple of chats about Gamora’s future and their relationship was very nice. Not only for seeing Zoe Saldana again but also because this Gamora was supposed to be the deadliest woman in the galaxy and as such Nebula’s equal.

I did find it interesting that Gamora needed almost no convincing to side with present Nebula and when they went to stop 2014 Nebula as she’s about to end Hawkeye’s life, the fact present Nebula has to kill her past self is also very poetic.

It does kind of bring into question if Nebula should still be alive because her past self is dead but she’s essentially a robot so I guess it doesn’t exactly count and also superhero logic so pass.

I do love she went back with the Guardians, I think if Tony had stayed alive she would have potentially stayed with him given their new friendship, but she belongs with the Guardians and I cannot wait to see her return in Guardians 3.

Hawkeye:

Yes, Hawkeye finally gets something to do! I am so happy with how Hawkeye was treated in this movie. Not only do we start off with him and seeing what his life was like post-Civil War was rather quaint.

Not only do I think watching Clint’s family all be dusted explains why Hawkeye went all Ronin, but also it solidifies the reason why his family was introduced in Avengers: Age of Ultron. I really enjoyed his family, I will get into his daughter’s future in a second separate post about the future of the MCU.

Jeremy Renner finally proves himself for me with his acting skills, I always liked Hawkeye for just being Hawkeye, but here Renner was dramatic and it worked.

From losing his family, to reuniting with Natasha, to going back in time to his homestead, to losing Natasha at Vormir. All of it worked as a dramatic performance.

Speaking of Vormir, as I said with Black Widow, it was so intense waiting to see just who was going to die in order to get the Soul Stone. However, I had that fight or flight moment when you realise what you want because of your instant reaction and it was Hawkeye running in slow-motion after knocking Nat over and jumping off the cliff...I was instantly upset and vocally went “Nooo!” so I’m not happy Black Widow died but I think it is right and feel Hawkeye has more to give.

Having said that, I then thought he was going to die again only this time at the hands of Nebula...to which I would have had two of my favourite characters and one killing the other so I would not have been happy. Fortunately that wasn’t the case and one of my favourite characters just killed their past self, it’s all good.

I did also love when the compound blew up and Hawkeye was at the bottom of the rubble with the new gauntlet and started running through the catacombs being chased by the Outriders was where the horror aspect came in for me because it felt like a scene out of Alien, I loved it when he finally got to the higher ground and zapped them away basically telling them to do one before collapsing from exhaustion, it was so good.

Then when it came to playing hot potato with the gauntlet on the battlefield, after he gave it to Black Panther I am not entirely sure what he did or even if he was on screen until Tony’s funeral where he and Wanda think about their lost loved ones.

I know there’s a Hawkeye TV series planned for Disney+ and I do look forward to seeing what occurs on the series.

Thor:

Oh my god Fat Thor is going to be a meme and gifset for years to come. Just when you think Chris Hemsworth cannot top what he did in Thor: Ragnarok, he cranks it up a notch or two here.

I thought it was very realistic that after blaming himself for not ending Thanos’ life which led to the decimation, he would deliver the final blow at the start by lopping off his head as a kind of poetic irony.

However, the fact he then went into despair and isolation in New Asgard, Norway, when a lot like Cap, he has nothing else to do with his life and still half of reality is wiped out.

He just eats and drinks to his heart content, apparently with his roommates Korg and Meek, great seeing them again. Also Valkyrie, who gets a surprising amount of screen-time here.

The Big Labowski reference was so funny and so fitting, you half expect him to have a shisha pipe it is that bewildering. He plats his hair and beard at the end of this movie when he goes into God of Thunder mode and despite everyone saying he looks like Odin, no he looks like Volstagg.

I loved loved loved when he and Rocket went back in time to Asgard 2013 and he was reunited with his mother. Rene Russo had more impact in this movie than either of the first two Thor movies.

But the fact he decided to talk with her and leave the mission of retrieving the Reality Stone from Jane to Rocket was also an interesting move. I never really felt the chemistry from Thor and Jane anyway. But it was really nice for him to have those last moments with Frigga because I don’t think they interacted at this point in the movie.

Also, he got Mjolnir back, you can say anything you want about Fat Thor but was smart enough to think about it and it was glorious to see him wielding two weapons.

Thor was very gung-ho in thinking the new complete gauntlet would work, he was just so adamant in trying to right his wrong that he was willing to put the whole of reality at risk...again.

When Cap was shown wielding Mjolnir and Thor is thrilled by this apparently, the battle later when Cap has Stormbreaker and Thor has Mjolnir, Thor just saying “No no, you take the small one, I want the big one” was fantastic!

After the battle is won and Tony’s funeral is had, the fact Thor decides to leave New Asgard in the hands of Valkyrie and joins the Guardians was a very fitting move. He had his best scenes in Infinity War with them as a group and the fact he and Star-Lord are already squaring up to each other bodes well for Guardians 3.

Hulk:

I’m just going to skip straight to Professor Hulk here because this was both a shock and a pleasent surprise. I knew Professor Hulk would be turning up in this movie and that somehow Banner would find a way to merge him and Hulk in unison. I just didn’t know how Mark Ruffalo’s acting would resonate but it was absolutely brilliant.

The fact Professor Hulk simply looked like Mark Ruffalo just as the jolly green giant was slightly surreal but in the best way. I can’t decide if I thought he was really there because his movements and mannerisms felt a lot like Mr. Incredible from The Incredibles which is a Pixar movie.

It does make sense that if Stark is the brainiest of the Science Bros. that Banner is second, however time travel he does not know. 1) He turned Scott into a child, baby and elder before managing to reverse the process. 2) He seemed adamant that the team would not make the mistakes of a list of time-travel movies...he didn’t actively make these mistakes but the team still made mistakes.

The fact that now Banner seems to be the brain in charge as opposed to Hulk, when they went back in time to 2012 and he saw his past self smashing and bashing, the fact Professor Hulk is so embarrassed by his former actions that he calls it gratuitous, it was so brilliant.

I did like how he had a reaction when Natasha was revealed to be dead, I would have liked to have seen a scene between the two of them either in Infinity War or here just to either get closure on their rocky romance or at least talk about it because it was left rather abruptly.

I agree that Hulk is the only one capable of wielding the gauntlet without dying because he is able to take the radiation, the fact it screwed his arm up is simply a battle scar I guess.

I’m curious to know if Bruce is going to stay as Professor Hulk going forward, or even if he has a future going forward. He does seem to be at peace with this new form and so maybe he will remain as he is.

Captain Marvel:

I was very surprised by how little screen-time Carol Danvers had in this movie, I think it’s actually less than Black Panther in Infinity War.

I am glad she didn’t pull focus because she is so powerful that she would have made the rest of the team surplus.

She had a Tinkerbell quality to her in this movie particularly at the start with the soft music and the fact she appeared in a ball of light almost as Tony Stark’s guardian angel.

On that note, at the end of Captain Marvel in the post-credits Carol appeared to the Avengers when the team were trying to figure out what Fury’s pager meant, where was that scene in this movie? I appreciate false footage in an effort to throw the fans off but Carol goes from looking rugged and battle-beaten there to literally glowing here.

Brie Larson still isn’t...clicking for me. I don’t know if it’s because I really wanted Charlize Theron in the role and therefore continue to see her rather than Brie but something about the voice or the wardrobe just isn’t adding up for me.

Also Brie Larson made some very distinct choices for the character when they’re in 2023, that short hair, I mean I know Carol Danvers famously has short hair in the comics, but this was a statement look and that statement is of the LGBT variety, especially now with Valkyrie in the mix.

Even Carol’s funeral outfit made a statement as it was clearly a pantsuit, not a dress. I am curious to see if this ever gets a mention on-screen or if it remains an unspoken thing.

When she showed up in the end battle, yes she had been gone for a long time, but she came back in style. I loved how after Thanos’ gun onslaught, they suddenly just stop and point upwards as they detect something entering the atmosphere. Honestly I almost forgot about her at that point because so much was going on, but when she came in and simply destroyed Thanos’ ship I was won over.

Even her interaction with Peter I loved, when he’s clutching the new gauntlet like he’s holding onto a tree and she descends and just says “You got something for me”, it was a cute interaction and I want more of that because it works for her.

Then there’s that A-Force tease which I will talk about in a separate post but my god I was living for that moment when all the living MCU women gathered around Carol to help her out. It was so good, I was fist pounding at that point.

Ant-Man:

Alright so, one of the big mysteries of this movie is how Ant-Man was going to get out of the Quantum Realm...he got out by a fluke rat scurrying across the control panel...a rat!

Paul Rudd definitely has the comedic chops in this movie. He has about the same role as he does in Captain America: Civil War but it is still a good role.

When he is reacquainted with his daughter Cassie, who has aged by five years so he doesn’t initially recognise her, it is a tender moment because obviously she recognises him but because he’s been gone for five years there’s that initial heartache of not recognising your own child.

Cassie didn’t really do much else in this movie, despite my believing she was going to be Stature here, but it was a nice addition.

The fact Scott was so adamant in not breaking the rules of time travel, despite Tony, Bruce and Nebula all laughing him off, he was still okay with taking these stones out of history, even for a minute in their time, and not thinking it should destroy the timeline...again I’ll go into that in a separate post.

Thanos:

Then as for Thanos, Kevin Feige made us wait 6 years but the MCU’s big bad has really paid off over these last two movies. I am really happy with how this movie treated Thanos, both in the opening of the movie and in the second to third acts with past Thanos.

This does create SO much drama in terms of time travel but I will get into reasons as to why it does in my next post. However, from a movie standpoint for what it was. I did think the movie did a great job at not cheapening his death at the beginning but still making his death at the end worth it.

Josh Brolin has been brilliant in this role and you cannot believe that a giant purple alien in gold armour can work but then you see him here.

Thanos is definitely the best MCU villain and after many years of the MCU having a villain problem it is brilliant to see their big bad finally pay off in these movies.

Other Heroes:

Rocket and War Machine are great in this movie, I even have come around to Don Cheadle as War Machine after so many years and movies of him driving me crazy, but the two are still great yet they don’t have the same impact as other characters.

Returning Heroes:

The end of this movie begins with almost every fallen hero from infinity War returning for the final battle. It was spectacular to see all of these heroes standing together and fighting alongside one another in ways we didn’t even see in Infinity War.

It is fascinating to see where these characters stories will go next, either in movies or on the streaming service.

Conclusion:

I cannot begin to describe how much I enjoyed this movie. It was action-packed, dramatic, so emotional and full of surprises that I have already seen it twice just to try and ensure I catch everything and I still plan to see it at least a third time.

As being someone who has followed this film series practically since the start, I think the first movie I saw in cinemas was Captain America: The First Avenger, and to see all these movies and characters come together in this one juggernaut of a movie is glorious. 

I am fascinated to know where this universe goes next, who will be the next big bad and who else will be introduced into the MCU family.

Overall this is a 9.5/10 movie, I am not letting the time travel conundrums detract from my enjoyment of the film but I cannot call it a perfect movie for that reason. It is however the best MCU movie just because of the feelings and grandeur and closure for a couple of heroes.

So that’s my spoiler review for Avengers: Endgame, apologies it took me so long. What do you guys think? Post your comments and check out more Marvel Movie Reviews as well as other movie reviews and posts.

[antiquery]

el’s guide to the lovecraft mythos

hey! so this is mostly a post for my dear friend will @wellsforboys, who asked for a primer of sorts on the best lovecraft stories, because his collected works are such a doorstopper, and reading them all in chronological order is quite an intensive task. these are, in my opinion, the cream of the crop; keep in mind that, for a lovecraft fan, my tastes tend towards the unconventional, and if you ask someone else you might get a very different list. i’m going to try my best to avoid the most intensely, egregiously bigoted, but if there’s something i feel merits inclusion despite the aforementioned bigotry i’ll include a warning. i’ll also provide links to all of these stories through the free online archive, but if you’d like to get a hard copy and delve deeper, i recommend this one from arcturus or this one from barnes & noble. if you’re strapped for cash and/or would prefer to read more online, here’s the link hub for the complete works. let’s get started!

lovecraft stories are typically broken up into two categories: the “mythos” stories, and the “dreamlands” stories. the former are the stories you typically think of when you think of lovecraft, if you know weird fiction— they tend more towards hard sci-fi, and usually deal with doomed scholars, hubris-ridden scientific exploits, the massachusetts countryside, outer gods, and various types of aliens. they’re far more famous than the latter, most of which concern the adventures of various vaguely keatsian protagonists in a narnia-ish realm dubbed the dreamlands, which is internally consistent and frequently cross-referenced. the distinction between these two types of stories is only a very broad one, though; characters, locations, and themes. frequently appear in both. the term “mythos” is rather misleading— all the stories take place in the same ‘verse, with the same gods and the same cosmology. really, it’s a division of style and subject material. personally, i prefer the dreamlands stories, but most lovecraft fans (unsurprisingly) prefer the mythos tales (which i will admit are more technically, narratively apt). i’ll try and include a roughly equal amount of both, so that you can get a feel for what you prefer.

so, without further ado, here’s the list! in chronological order:

the statement of randolph carter: first story, first appearance of my boy! here he’s wracked by ptsd from the great war and the recent eldritch demise of his boyfriend research partner; the story is told in the form of a police statement. this is one of the most gothic of lovecraft’s tales, and also the one with Alternate Universe Florida. it’s a fave.

celephais: sort of a dry run for the dream-quest of unknown kadath, but clever and unique in its own humble way. it’s got the same themes of refuge in dream, and it’s got a sweet ending that’s cleverly subverted by the protagonist’s later appearance in the dream cycle.

from beyond: people have mixed opinions on this one, but i’m fond of it. while usually classed as a dream cycle tale, it has that element of scientific hubris that pops up so often in mythos stories, and an absolutely chilling central premise.

nyarlathotep: first appearance of probably the most well-known mythos baddie after cthulhu. here he’s terrorizing innocent humans in the guise of Eldritch Modernist Nikola Tesla. will, for you specifically— if you like nikola orsinov from the magnus archives, you’ll like nyarlathotep (both the character and the short story).

the nameless city: this might just be my favorite one-off tale (though i am fond of the lovecraft reread’s hypothesis that the unnamed protagonist might be our boy randy carter, because this is precisely the kind of stupidity he’s so prone to). top-notch archaeological horror about exploring a deserted city that might not be as empty as it seemed.

the music of erich zann: lovecraft doing chambers, basically. it’s a clever little tale, and has an innovative use of auditory horror, which wasn’t all that common for hpl.

hypnos: probably the second most homoerotic story lovecraft ever wrote (though there are a lot of those, surprisingly enough). local keatsian meets a supremely beautiful, nameless man, they fall into dreaming (and opium addiction) together, things go downhill from there.

herbert west— reanimator: this one’s a bit longer, but it’s a cult classic, adapted into a delightfully campy 1985 film starring jeffrey combs. it’s about a scientist who goes Too Far, in the frankenstein sense, in pursuit of...well, you can guess from the title. it’s a fun modern (for the twenties) twist on the gothicism of mary shelley, and the title character is so much fun.

the hound: another super-gothic tale, and probably the single homoerotic story lovecraft ever wrote. actually, it’s kinda like a mini the secret history via poe. local decadents get into the occult over their heads, pay the spooky spooky price. gotta love it.

the rats in the walls: this one’s another classic poe-esque story, pretty clearly a riff on fall of the house of usher. it’s a wonderfully psychological piece of gothic horror, but huge trigger warning for The Infamous Cat Name. aside from that bit of unpleasantness, this is one of the first pieces where lovecraft handles the horror of ancestry well, with the classic conceit of a literal decaying house (or priory, as the case may be), and it’s pretty cool to see him really come into his own with something that’d so fundamentally define his work.

the unnameable: another carter story! this time he’s acting pretty transparently as lovecraft’s author avatar, talking about the value of horror fiction and, uh, fainting in terror at the slightest hint of any actual horror. better luck next time, randy. we’ll check in with him again in a few.

the festival: first canon mention of the necronomicon! exciting! and, if i recall correctly, the only story actually set in kingsport, one of the small massachusetts towns (along with arkham, dunwich, and innsmouth) that make up the major landmarks of lovecraft country. it’s about, as the title suggests, a Nefarious Ritual, and also astral projection? cool. it’s a pretty neat bit of creepery, nothing really special, but a good example of the kind of regional horror lovecraft was starting to handle particularly well.

the call of cthulhu: i’m basically obligated to include this one, though to me it’s not really a standout, because it’s so damn famous. it does get points for a clever and thematically intelligent narrative structure, and the astoundingly creepy idea of artists’ dreams being influenced by an Imminent Horror. 

pickman’s model: another super chambers-esque story, and one where the monologue formatting works loads better than it did in statement of randolph carter. like in music of erich zann (and, to some extent, call of cthulhu) this is lovecraft wrestling with the cosmic-horror implications of the fine arts. it’s also got a lovely twist at the end, one of those really chilling clincher lines lovecraft is starting to develop a knack for.

the silver key: chronologically the third carter tale, though no one’s entirely sure where it fits in the narrative sequence of his stories. it’s basically a modernist diss track, wherein our boy wrestles with the ennui that comes from, uh, reading t.s. eliot? (funnily enough, this is basically “the hollow men” via keats.) it’s not really a horror story, but it’s one of my favorites nonetheless.

the dream-quest of unknown kadath: FINALLY, we get to my favorite. this is a short novel chronicling randolph carter’s adventures in the dreamlands as he seeks out a dream-city that the gods have denied him. it’s the odyssey via lord dunsany, with a few twists— carter’s not really an epic hero, polutropos or otherwise, and it’s fun to watch him navigate a treacherous landscape in such an unconventional fashion. it has an excellent, atypical twist ending, and my favorite appearance of nyarlathotep ever. it’s also the chronological end of the carter cycle,* and our boy goes out with a very pratchett-esque bang.

the case of charles dexter ward: a lengthy slow-build tale of an evil necromancer and his impressionable descendent. it moves somewhat slowly, but it’s so delightfully atmospheric that you don’t really mind. bonus points for the clear riff on wilde’s the picture of dorian gray. also, first appearance of mythos deity yog-sothoth!

the dunwich horror: aaaand now we get into the string of very well-known mythos tales that lovecraft wrote around 1930. this is a classic, about an insular family with a destructive predilection for the occult.

the whisperer in darkness: a lovely slow-build and partly epistolary tale, featuring the classic Intense Stupidity of mythos protagonists. also featuring aliens from...pluto? and the first real appearance of the theme of bodily dissociation, which lovecraft got super into near the end of his career.

at the mountains of madness: this one’s so good. it’s more of a novella than a short story, about a doomed expedition to the antarctic sponsored by our favorite Dark Ivy, miskatonic university. it’s an awesome piece of worldbuilding about the pre-human earth, and a near-unique bit of sympathy for the non-human. it was also the inspiration for john carpenter’s 1982 classic the thing, as well as a tragically abortive guillermo del toro adaptation.

the shadow over innsmouth: i’d call this the climax of lovecraft’s writing on hereditary horror, and it’s brilliant. the ending is one of my favorite final paragraphs in all of lovecraft, maybe surpassed only by dream-quest. the story proper is about a young massachusetts native investigating the strange coastal town of innsmouth, and just why, exactly, something isn’t quite right about it. it loses points, though, for a truly horrible and lengthy application of dialect, and for being a very obvious metaphor about interracial marriage. sigh.

the dreams in the witch house: probably my favorite story after dream-quest of unknown kadath. it’s...kind of dark academia-y, actually, about a miskatonic undergrad who moves into a house formerly owned by a famous witch and discovers a method to travel to other dimensions— at a price, of course. lovecraft was never good at character building, but he did manage to create a genuinely sympathetic protagonist in walter gilman, which makes the ending all the more chilling. there’s also an awesome rock opera adaptation of this story, which i highly recommend.

the shadow out of time: another favorite! it’s the culmination of lovecraft’s late-career fondness for body-swapping horror, and as well as being genuinely cosmically terrifying (and wondrous) it’s quite psychological, in a way lovecraft wasn’t usually very apt at. it’s got alien civilizations! anticipatory soviet terror! the horrors of interplanetary colonialism! awesome libraries! what’s not to love?

the haunter of the dark: the last independent story lovecraft wrote before he died in 1937, it’s a beautiful send-up of providence, hpl’s hometown, and a delightful final appearance of my man nyarlathotep (albeit in a new form). plus...eldritch journalism? it’s great. also, i can’t mention this story without referencing this fic, which you should absolutely read immediately after the actual tale. 

and that’s it! happy reading!

* you can read “through the gates of the silver key” if you want, it’s technically the culmination of the carter cycle, but it was mainly written by e. hoffman price and edited by lovecraft, and i (along with plenty of other hpl scholars) don’t really consider it canon. it was lovecraft’s first real foray into body-swap horror, but because he’s trying to shove it into a character arc that’s already over and done with it doesn’t do very well. you get essentially the same narrative with “the shadow out of time,” done much more skilfully. to me, “gates” smacks intensely of derleth, lovecraft’s “posthumous collaborator” and Mythos Manichaean, which...ack.

[kfdirector]

What to Learn From Every RPG Campaign I’ve GMed* or Played In

(All campaigns that lasted more than three sessions that I’ve ever played in, in chronological order; marked by a * were me as GM.  All others were me as player.)

Denver Arcana (0*)  (d20 Modern, Urban Arcana, Extensive Supplements and Homebrew, Kitchen Sink Urban Fantasy)

LESSON FOR THE GM: Self-insert PCs are perfectly doable, but don’t include other real-life people as NPCs.  Especially if any PC IRL has a thing for any of the NPCs.  Double-especially if the GM kinda does too.

Clyde Lake (d20 Modern, pure, contemporary horror)

LESSON FOR THE GM:  Before launching a horror game, have a pretty good idea what the source of the horror actually is.

Plaguelands (D&D 3.5e, classic fantasy with Oriental Adventures influences)

LESSON FOR THE GM: If you get a guy who ALWAYS TAKES THE BAIT, knowingly and gladly, great!  Just…have a plan for when he takes the bait.  A plan that lets the campaign keep going, maybe?

LESSON FOR THE PLAYER: When using illusions to persuade people, consider the audience.  Maybe consider very carefully whether your choice of illusion, while persuasive to your target, might also cause a wave of panic and mass suicide.

 d20 Tropico* (d20 Modern, pure, action-adventure)

LESSON FOR THE GM: A little more research is needed for setting a campaign in a war-torn Caribbean island nation than just…playing Tropico.

LESSON FOR THE PLAYER: If you play an INT 5 bruiser and the campaign is not 100% combat, you’re going to be locked out of a lot of playing.

 Thaumapunk*  (d20 Modern, Extensive supplements and homebrew, kitchen sink sci-fi/magitech)

LESSON FOR MY PLAYERS: I am not afraid to TPK your asses.

LESSON FOR THE GM: A bad ending goes down so much smoother with a hastily-written sequel hook in the epilogue that makes the players think that at least everything they did didn’t amount to a complete waste of time.

 Apocalypse Arcana* (D&D 3,5e, mostly official supplements, post-apocalyptic North America fantasy)

LESSON FOR THE GM: It’s okay to fudge things if you misestimate an encounter.  But consider being more subtle than having all the henchdemons announce that it’s time for their union-mandated lunch break and quit the field, leaving only their boss to fight the party.

LESSON FOR EVERYONE: If someone accidentally plays a furry when they’re vehemently not a furry, never, ever, let them live it down.  (Real actual furries get a pass in my book; y’all do you.)

 Denver Arcana (I, II, III) (d20 Modern, Urban Arcana, few supplements, kitchen sink urban fantasy)

LESSON FOR THE PLAYER: Characters really are fun when they’re actually characters, not just self-inserts or piles of stats for launching fireballs!  Make sure the campaign is going to last before commissioning artwork of them, though. Or else you’ll wonder if you’ve got your money’s worth.

LESSON FOR THE GM: If you continually reboot a campaign at low levels because you don’t know how to cope with your PCs once they reach high levels – don’t be surprised if they start finding level-independent ways to fuck with your shit.

 Thaumapunk X* (d20 Modern, extensive supplements, a bit less homebrew, better-thought-out kitchen sink sci-fi/magitech)

LESSON FOR THE PLAYER: If the GM interrupts your convoluted attempts at planning with an alien invasion, that means he disapproved of something.  Possibly that you were taking two hours to plan something unimportant.

LESSON FOR THE GM: It’s okay if the players know who the final boss is in advance (because he’s the guy who TPKed them last time), but they’ll understand if his stats aren’t identical to what they were centuries before.  They’ll accept the change if it means you don’t feel compelled to spring the final boss on them 75% of the way through the apparent story because you realized that it wouldn’t be a challenge for their over-optimized builds if things ran their course.

 Strangeworld (D&D 3.5e, mostly official supplements, weird primal-feeling fantasy that turned out to have huge space-fantasy elements just out of view for most of the game)

LESSON FOR THE GM: What would be awesome in twenty or thirty sessions will be a soul-sucking mess if it takes eighty.

 Diaspora* (D&D 3.5e, mostly official supplements, rapidly escalating to fight mythological-class threats and thwart a multi-pantheon plot to unmake the world, which somehow entailed overthrowing a powerful dwarven nation to build a giant-ass steampunk cannon to launch yourself to the moon so you could fight the Chariot of All Evil before it could bring its terrible power too close to the world’s many doomsday cults)

LESSON FOR THE GM: If there’s a chance that one player will realize that he doesn’t like the epilogue that he’s on track for, give him a heads up in advance.  So you’re not re-writing the ending at very moment that the ending is happening.

LESSON FOR THE PLAYER: If you gaining demigod status as your retirement plan depends on the cooperation of the rest of the party, clear everything with them 100% first.  Explain any possible hang-ups to the satisfaction of the Paladin  before the moment of truth.

 Braveworld (D&D 3.5e, mostly official supplements, standard medieval western fantasy)

LESSON FOR THE GM: Players say they just want a normal campaign as a breather after a crazy one, but they lie.  Boredom sets in fast, and that deprives you of the critical enthusiasm needed to overcome repeated scheduling problems or player conflicts.

 Magnum Opus* (d20 Modern, massive supplements, a crossover involving every previous campaign on this list and others that never got off the drawing board, starting with the PCs on their first day of high school and culminating in them saving literally every universe)

LESSON FOR THE GM: You get to push a system to its maximum extent until it pretty much burns out everyone’s desire to play it because there’s nothing else to accomplish, once.  Make it worth it!

OTHER LESSON FOR THE GM: If you set plot-critical rolls with a difficulty so high that they’re mathematically unachievable without extra measures, remember to hint at those other measures to the player in question.  He might not be firing on all cylinders tonight and if he gets literally every party member killed (even if temporarily) because as far as he could tell you wanted him to roll a 22 on a 20-sided dice, you’re getting the blame for that.

OTHER, OTHER LESSON FOR THE GM: No player ever needs a ring of three wishes.  Not even with a single wish left on it.  If there’s any charges left on that sucker it will fuck up your epilogue right good.

 Omoikane (D&D 3.5e, very Oriental-Adventures-themed, lots of demigod-tier enemies running around)

LESSON FOR THE GM: If a player seems to fundamentally misunderstand how a rule works, and seems to have built his character around that misunderstanding, correct him early.  At a critical moment when he’s trying to save the entire party based on a heroic effort he thinks the rules let him do is a bit too late.

LESSON FOR THE PLAYERS: If the way you play a character is so effective that future GMs ban the entire class for the rest of time, you’ve mostly cheated yourself out of something cool.

 The Low Road (D&D 3.5e, standard medieval western fantasy but the PCs are evil and in pursuit of cosmic power; culminating in one character [uh, mine] becoming the replacement source of all evil in the world after his original plan fell through due to his god not existing)

LESSON FOR THE GM: “An Evil campaign” means different things to different players.  You’re not going to get a consistent vision of how to proceed with an evil scheme if your only criteria is “make an evil PC”.

LESSON FOR THE PLAYERS: Evil cultist PCs planning to betray their parties at the last moment to further their eldritch-horror-patron’s plans should probably first verify that their patron exists.

 Swoboda (Early Pathfinder, campaign was supposed to be based on a fantasy version of WW2, with the PCs Fantasy!Polish volunteers in the Fantasy!Spanish Civil War with the meta-game expectation that we’d later be leading the resistance against the Fantasy!Nazi invasion of Fantasy!Poland).

LESSON FOR THE GM: Maybe don’t make the second session of the game a mission to commit atrocities against civilians, even if you are going for a “horrors of war” theme.

LESSON FOR THE GM: And maybe have a plan to continue the game if the PCs refuse orders.

 Sullapolis Survivor* (GURPS, zombie-horror but with extradimensional monsters rather than actual zombies, in a contemporary fictional city)

LESSON FOR MY PLAYERS:  No, seriously, I will TPK you if you fuck around in the finale.

LESSON FOR THE GM: Keep your conspiratorial horror a little more straightforward.  Too many elements just leaves the players unfocused and uninterested.

 The Dark Lords Errand (D&D 3.5e, classic medieval fantasy)

LESSON FOR THE PLAYERS: I’m not the only GM in the group willing to TPK us if we’re idiots.

LESSON FOR THE GM: It can be hard to communicate to players the difference between a situation where a heroic stand is demanded and where subterfuge and feigned acquiescence is called for.  But it’s worth making the extra effort if you liked the campaign.

 Orc Quest (D&D 3.5e, orcish tribes crusading against the law and the light)

SEE RECAP HERE.  

LESSON FOR THE PLAYERS: If you can’t be useful, be entertaining.

LESSON FOR THE GM: If one of the players has cheesed the rules so effectively as to tame the Tarrasque at level 8, and you let this happen, it’s barely your campaign any more – you’re just as much along for the ride as everyone not playing a Tarrasque-tamer.

 Saviors of Camden (GURPS; low-point value, basically playing the Boondock Saints)

LESSON FOR THE PLAYERS: Don’t build characters who have to be persuaded into the basic concept of the campaign.

LESSON FOR THE GM: If you planned a “kill ‘em all” epilogue, be prepared for the possibility of one PC cheating death.  Surround the skyscraper with cops?  Someone might critically succeed on a parasailing roll…

 Living in Darkness (D&D 3.5e, mixed supplements, classic fantasy that seemed to take place in the centuries-later aftermath of The Low Road)

LESSON FOR THE PLAYERS: If your GM’s style is best described as “Homestuck narrator”, you’re gonna have a bad time.

LESSON FOR THE GM: “How to keep an enemy mage in custody” should be a solved problem on most worlds.  Tell your players the accepted protocol.  Don’t make them invent it on their own and then have NPCs criticize them for unnecessary abuse after the fact.

LESSON FOR THE GM: You’re running a tabletop campaign, not narrating a satirical text adventure game.  Or if you are, you need to advertise that shit first.

 Valos IV (d20 Modern, Future, and then GURPS, involuntary pioneers sent by a tyrannical Earth government to an alien planet)

LESSON FOR THE GM: It’s a rare campaign that can survive a change in game systems.

 Adlera* (D&D 3.5e, Fantasy!Roman Republican PCs help Fantasy!Caesar invade Fantasy!India by killing any of the thousands of local demigods that get in the way of the Fantasy!Roman Legions, only to clash with an invading Fantasy!China, deal with backstabbing intrigue from home, and deal with the ancient techno-magical-biological prison for ten billion souls in a way that kept them from either reincarnating into an evil god or a horde of angry demons)

LESSON FOR THE GM: If when some PCs excel at what they do it’s regarded as heroic, and when others excel it’s regarded as a war crime, that leads to resentment.  Just be aware of that.

LESSON FOR THE PLAYERS: Read the lore. If it says something only really weird could justify X in this setting, and you make X an explicit part of your character, don’t be surprised if you get dragged into some really weird shit.  Like having Fantasy!Samuel L. Jackson be your reincarnated boss, throughout all eternity, and locking you out of the epilogue that all the other players get because get back to work, bitch!

 Twenty Twenty Five* (GURPS, post-apocalypse based on an alternate history, like if Fallout was based on the late-80s/early-90s instead of the 50s, and also all the PCs were alive before the fall and woke up from a coma after the fall)

LESSON FOR THE GM: Do not allow any player to take Secret: Largely Responsible for the Apocalypse.  The campaign then becomes About That Player, no matter who else was in the party or what else you had going.

 The Sands of Mars (d20 Modern, Future, space opera with no psi or magic set on a Mars that has been cut off from Earth centuries after a robot rebellion or something)

LESSON FOR THE GM: Don’t pitch a sandbox game if you aren’t running a sandbox game. If there’s a main plot players are expected to participate in, don’t be coy about it in the pitch.

LESSON FOR THE PLAYERS: If your character hates lying and you as a player don’t grok the concept of lying by omission, maybe don’t be the only one to take ranks in Bluff.

 Embracing Defeat (I, II)* (GURPS, martial arts/kinda-dieselpunk world where the PCs are the scions of nobility in a crushed and occupied country, trying to restore the honor of their defeated nation)

LESSON FOR THE GM: If someone keeps pitching character concepts that seem to really not quite fit the campaign, that means they probably don’t get what the campaign is going to be and you should explain it better so the character they eventually make doesn’t turn out completely useless.

LESSON FOR THE PLAYERS: Maybe don’t pick a fight with an entire regiment of retired combat veterans at once if only one of you knows which end of a sword goes in the other guy.

LESSON FOR THE GM: A promising concept can be revived with new players if you write things properly.  But you still need a new plan for the story after nearly-TPKing the first set of characters and their associated stories.

 The Wheel (D&D 3.5e, a sequel to The Dark Lord’s Errand, the Low Road, Living in Darkness – every ten sessions or so the campaign world would change dramatically as one world ended and another was born, the heroes reincarnated into new but similar forms in a mecha setting, a post-apoc setting, a dark low fantasy, etc.)

LESSON FOR THE GM: You may have been planning this one for eight years, but that’s no excuse to drag the game itself on for three years.  PACING! No story worth telling requires 82 four-hour-average sessions.

LESSON FOR THE PLAYERS: Clearly communicate to the GM your expectations for the game.  For instance, tell him politely, but firmly, which plot twists will result in you making a road trip across America to hang him with the strings of his own dice bag.  When threats are credible, this improves the game for everyone.

 The Firm* (GURPS, high-action, players are stylized GTA-type mafia guys taking over a fictional contemporary American city)

LESSON FOR THE GM: You make a game that calls for dick player characters, they’re going to do dick things.  You give them a high point value, they’re going to be good at doing dick things.  Be psychologically prepared for that.

 Valdeer no Senshi (GURPS, Magical Girls in a frankly awesome alt-history city that goes miles to justify the San-Fransokyo blend of West Coast and Japanese culture)

LESSON FOR THE GM: Less time writing Japanese characters that don’t display on most people’s US-layout IRC clients, more time writing awesome set piece battles and hilarious anime-inspired scenes.

LESSON FOR THE PLAYERS: A group of mostly twenty-something dudes is either going to barely bother to roleplay a teenage girl or way too good at it.  Gaming is more productive when it’s the former; memories are made when it’s the latter.  There is no such thing as a happy medium.

 The Great Heathen Army* (Pathfinder; Fantasy!Vikings invade Fantasy!England, each PC having their own noble house and army, carving out their respective kingdoms as they conquer the land and fight both the natives and each other)

LESSON FOR THE GM: There is a maximum number of spreadsheets you can use to run a game after which there is no way it will be fun. Try to work out that number ahead of time.

LESSON FOR THE GM: If you have a hard time imagining what would cause an actual tabletop session to be needed to advance the game, you have not actually designed a D&D-style campaign but a play-by-post strategy with cobbled-together-rules.  And if those rules kind of suck, wow you have wasted a lot of time.

 Harbingers of Justice (Pathfinder with all kinds of homebrew, modern superheroes in a contemporary fictional setting)

LESSON FOR THE GM: Don’t run a superhero campaign if you actually hate superheroes.

LESSON FOR THE PLAYERS: Don’t build an Elvis-themed superhero if you have no interest and little knowledge of Elvis

LESSON FOR THE PLAYERS: The most effective way for a level 3 rogue to do damage in a battle on a city street is a Disable Device check to hotwire the nearest car and drive it into an enemy.

 Knights of the Stag* (GURPS, Infinite Worlds world-hopping beginning with the wizard attendees at a magical college in England in the days of Richard the Lionheart)

LESSON FOR THE GM: Don’t base a campaign on cool alternate-history ideas if you’re the only one in your group who reads or cares about history.  You’ll burn out long before you can get to the finish if you don’t have the positive feedback from people who get the references.

LESSON FOR THE GM: GURPS makes the better system when you need to learn new languages, know hundreds of utility spells, and solve problems in crazy creative ways.  D&D makes the better system when you want to throw dragons at the party.  Both are pretty doable when the opposition is Evil Time Nazis, though.

LESSON FOR THE PLAYER: Do the assigned reading. Don’t be the idiot claiming to be an English noble in 11th Century England who speaks only…English.

 Resistance* (d20 Modern; entirely fictional setting; no science fiction or magic; ROTC students try to organize a resistance after a surprise coup and invasion of their country, Red Dawn style)

LESSON FOR THE PLAYERS: If it’s an explicitly modern-military themed game, and absolutely every single enemy is going to have at least an assault rifle…this probably isn’t the game to run your expert boxer who specializes in doing unarmed nonlethal damage, especially given d20 Modern’s heavy nerfs to nonlethal damage.

 Angels of Ashtabula (GURPS, sequel to Saviors of Camden, only set in the Rust Belt)

LESSON FOR THE GM: Don’t let someone take Anonymous as an 18-pt contact.

LESSON FOR THE PLAYERS: Don’t take Anonymous as an 18-pt contact.

  The New World (D&D 5e, standard medieval western fantasy kingdoms colonize fantasy!North America)

LESSON FOR THE GM: If the (white colonialist) sponsors are all assholes, and the indigenous peoples are all sympathetic, it should be expected that eventually the PCs are going to stop wanting to work for the colonialists.

LESSON FOR THE OTHER PLAYERS: If you didn’t want me negotiating with the lich, leading to efforts of mutual translation and me telling the lich how to take advantage of our own laws and the Paladin’s code of honor to get treated as a sovereign nation rather than a monster, maybe y’all should have just attacked instead of waiting for it to make the first move and then it waiting for us to make the first move and an awkward silence ensuing that I decided to insert myself into as the SOCIAL JUSTICE ROGUE.

  Journey to Svalbard (GURPS; post-apocalypse; survivors from Edmonton, Canada, make their way across the ruins of Canada and then the Atlantic to the Svalbard Doomsday Seed Vault to restart agriculture, ongoing)

LESSON FOR THE GM: Eight players is probably more than comfortably fit into an RPG group at once.  It’s definitely more than fit comfortably into the bush plane at once.

LESSON FOR THE GM: If the only NPCs who get physical descriptions are the ones who turn out to be the key to saving the world, it’s kind of hard to keep the mystery going.

LESSON FOR THE PLAYERS: If the GM keeps dropping hints, someone should probably take notes, yeah?

 Journey from Everfree* (GURPS Dungeon Fantasy; class of modern high school students thrust into fantasy setting)

LESSON FOR THE GM: You should probably take some notes yourself, asshole.

 Heroes of Applewood Heights* (Genesys, Superheroes, contemporary, ongoing)

LESSON FOR THE GM: Whatever it is, I haven’t learned it yet.

[bern33chaser]

11 Writing Exercises to Inspire You and Strengthen Your Writing

Whether you’re writing just for fun, for school, or with professional goals in mind, these exercises can all help you to improve your writing. Some will give you inspiration, others will help you avoid editing as you write, and many of them will help you pay closer attention to your word choices.

I hope you’ll enjoy giving them a go!

#1: Cover Your Screen While You Write

If you find yourself doing more editing than actual writing, then try covering up (or, on a laptop, turning down) your screen while you draft.

If, like me, you can touch-type – try closing your eyes instead. I find it surprisingly relaxing! (Though I tend to stop every sentence or two to make sure I’ve hit the keys I thought I was hitting…)

At first, it might seem odd not to be able to see the words that you’re typing – but you might well find that you write faster and express your thoughts more freely this way.

#2: Set a Daily Writing Goal and Track Your Progress

Writing, as most other crafts, only gets better with practice. If you want to improve, therefore, you will need to write pretty much every single day.

The best strategy to achieve this objective is to set a goal of how many words you want to write per day, and then to track your progress over time. A simple notebook or spreadsheet should be enough for you to record your daily statistics.

The Prolifiko blog has a great piece with more tips to set writing goals and resolutions and to make sure you achieve them.

#3: Use a Writing Prompt to Get You Going

If you want to write, but you don’t know what you want to write, try using a writing prompt. This could be anything from a story scenario (“write about someone who gets caught in a lie”) to a blog post title (“Ten Things I Wish I Could Tell My 15-Year-Old Self”).

Here are a couple of sources of prompts to keep you busy for a while:

25 creative writing prompts, a list of prompts you can use to start writing a simple story or even a novel.

365 Creative Writing Prompts, from Think Written – a mixed bag of prompts, with some for stories and some for poems; many would also work for blogging.

Even if you’re working on a longer piece, like a novel, prompts can be helpful. A line of dialogue, for instance, might give you just the inspiration you need for your next scene.

#4: Don’t Start at the Beginning … Start at the End

There’s no writing rule that says you need to begin at the beginning. In fact, many writers find it more effective to start at the end.

You can do this in a couple of different ways:

Start your story (or blog post, etc) close to the chronological end – e.g. you might begin with “As I stared down the mountain, I couldn’t believe I was actually here…” You can then jump back in time and narrate the events that led up to that point.

Write the end of your blog post (or story, etc) first. Once you’ve written your concluding paragraphs or final scenes, you’ll know what you’re leading up to. If you prefer not to write it out in full, you could make notes.

#5: Rewrite a Masterpiece or a Famous Story

Choose a famous masterpiece or classic novel (like Jane Austen’s Pride and Prejudice or Shakespeare’s Romeo and Juliet) and write your own version.

This is a great exercise because you can do it at almost any level: you could write a short story for children, or you could write a whole novel or screenplay. (Bridget Jones’s Diary, for instance, borrowed heavily from Pride and Prejudice; the children’s movie Gnomeo and Juliet is based, as you might guess, on Romeo and Juliet.)

You can do this with fairytales, too, like the story of Cinderella or Little Red Riding Hood. You might decide to bring the stories into the modern world – or you might switch to a completely different genre, like a Western version of Little Red Riding Hood or a sci-fi version of Cinderella.

Hopefully, you’ll think of some interesting ways to present an old story in a new way – great practice for avoiding clichés and stereotypes in your own writing.

#6: Create a Found Poem from Your Spam Folder

A “found poem” is one created from text that already exists – and some writers enjoy repurposing spam emails for this!

Check your spam folder. I’m sure that, like mine, it’s full of emails with some strange wording and dubious promises like:

I did not need to find a winning product. he gave it to me…

Just drinking 1 cup of this delicious hot beverage in the morning sets you up to burn more fat than 45 exhausting minutes on the treadmill.

Hello %E-mail_address%, I know your very love Engineer Jobs and want have T-Shirt for Engineer Jobs.

It is vital to have a telephone system that has all the specific functions

(All of these are taken verbatim from my own spam folder…)

Could you pick out a few lines (they don’t have to be consecutive ones) to create your own found poem? Feel free to add some words if needed. There are some wonderfully odd examples here.

#7: Write Something Inspired By a Piece of Writing, Music or Art

Inspiration can come in all sorts of ways – but if you’re struggling to find an idea, try turning to other people’s creative works. In my blogging, I’ve often been inspired by other people’s post structures, by an idea of theirs that I want to take further – or even by something they’ve written that I disagree with.

You can use music and art in a similar way: they can be particularly potent sources of ideas for stories. If you have a favourite song or artist, what in their work speaks to you? How could you craft a story using some of those themes or thoughts? Alternatively, look through some photos of artworks, and choose one or more to use as the basis for a story.

#8: Interview Your Novel’s Characters

This is a fun exercise that a lot of writers use to dig into who their characters are: the character interview. You can work through a pre-set list of questions, or you can come up with your own in advance, or you can just start typing and go with the flow!

You might do this essentially like a character questionnaire or checklist, or you might want to write it more like a mini-story, with you as the author inviting your character to sit down and talk.

Depending on the sort of fiction you write, the setting for your interview could be almost anything – perhaps you’re enjoying a casual chat over coffee and cake with your character, or maybe you’re interviewing them as a journalist, or even in court. Or, if you’re into rather darker fiction, you might be conducting an interrogation…

However you do this, it’s a great exercise to have fun with, and you might discover a whole backstory to your character that you’d never thought about before.

#9: Use the Alphabet

This is a fun exercise that can work for almost any type of writing: craft a piece where each sentence starts with the next letter of the alphabet. Here’s the start of one to show you what I mean:

At six o’clock, Josie woke up. Before she’d even opened her eyes, she knew what had woken her: she could hear it, just like she’d heard it every Friday morning for months. Cliff, her neighbour, was out in his garden. Despite all the times she’d gone round and asked him, through gritted teeth, to please wait until at least seven, he was mowing the blasted lawn again.

“Excuse me!” she called, over the fence. For a moment, she thought he hadn’t heard her over the sound of the mower.

(Yes, it’s tricky once you get to X! You might find this list helpful, or you might choose to use a sentence-starting word that merely contains an X.)

#10: Write with a Sentence Length Limit in Place

Can you limit every sentence you write to ten words? (Or fewer!) This might be tricky. It’s a great exercise for bloggers and online marketers, though. Short snappy sentences and paragraphs work well online.

You might want to draft as normal, then edit ruthlessly. Or you could count the words as you type. Whatever works for you!

(Yes, the sentences in this section are ten words max…)

#11: Write Without Using Any Adverbs

This is a common exercise advised for fiction writers: write a whole scene without using a single adverb.

Adverbs are words that modify verbs, adjectives and adverbs. They often (though not always) end with –ly.

Here are a few sentences with the adverbs indicated in bold:

The girl walked quickly to school. (“Quickly” is modifying the verb “walked”.)

Slowly, the fairly tall man stood.  (“Slowly” is modifying the verb “stood”, and “fairly” is modifying the adjective “tall”)

On the bus, the baby cried dismayingly loudly. (“Dismayingly” is modifying the adverb “loudly”, and “loudly” is modifying the verb “cried”.)

Writing without adverbs forces you to write crisper, clearer (and shorter!) sentences, which often have more impact. In particular, you’ll find yourself choosing stronger verbs.

All of these sentences could replace “The girl walked quickly to school” – and each has a slightly different nuance:

The girl strode to school.

The girl hurried to school.

The girl power-walked to school.

Of course, adverbs aren’t bad in themselves – so I don’t recommend avoiding them in all your writing! This exercise can help you, though, to be more aware of when you’re using adverbs unnecessarily.

—

Pick one of the above exercises to try out during your writing time this week. (If you’re feeling up for it, pick two and combine them – how about rewriting a classic without using any adverbs?) Have fun!

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Original post: 11 Writing Exercises to Inspire You and Strengthen Your Writing from Daily Writing Tips https://www.dailywritingtips.com/11-writing-exercises/

[thejoeydavis]

Movies of 2016

(I’m posting this late but for archival purposes I’m putting it here)

Every January I do a list of all the movies I watched over the past year in chronological order and this,, as you can tell,, is that list. Each movie is rated out of 10 and rounded to the nearest whole number for simplicity and because I use the letterboxd app to log all my movies and it uses a 5 star system. These number ratings are meant to be as objective as possible, which means they’re judged on commonly agreed upon film conventions and what most critics and kinophiles would consider to be “good film,” as pretentious as that sounds. Really it just means I went with my gut feeling and then considered technical aspects and effectiveness on all of these. Paired with each are some thoughts to talk about what I liked or disliked, how it made me feel, etc. I’ll try to keep it short on as many as I can since there are so many. tl;dr: top 10 is at the bottom

Anomalisa – 7 – a predictably depressing Charlie Kaufman film about loneliness and being human—somewhat ironic considering it’s a stop motion film. Don’t let the puppets with 3d printed faces fool you; this is a very human movie with one of the most realistic sex scenes ever captured on film. Probably don’t see this with your mom like I did.

Inside Llewyn Davis – 8 – one of my favorite movies of the past few years and one of my top Coen bros movies. The charismatic but dickish performance by Oscar Isaac and beautiful folk soundtrack depicts a hard life for a musician in early 1960s New York that will make you feel better about yourself (unless you’re a musician).

 Me, and Earl, and the Dying Girl – 8 – also one of my favorite movies of the past few years, this love letter to classic film by Alfonso Gomez-Rejon is a beautiful story of a popular kid in high school who befriends a girl with terminal cancer. Essentially Perks of Being a Wallflower meets criterion collection.

Project X – 7 – one of my guilty pleasure movies. Lots of fun.

 The Hateful Eight (70mm) – 6 – I got to see this in 70mm complete with preshow overture and intermission and it was an incredible experience. I loved the movie but it’s not Tarantino’s best by any stretch. Note the huge disparity in rating from last year when I gave it a 9.2. This film is not a 9.2.

 The Forest – 3 – in this movie Natalie Dormer goes to the Japanese suicide forest to search for her sister who went missing. Suicide is a very apt theme here considering how heavily I considered ending my life during this movie. Truly awful.

 Carol – 6 – one of those movies that I know is good but I just didn’t enjoy. It’s about Rooney Mara and Cate Blanchett as they try to hide their forbidden romantic relationship in 1950s New York. Long, slow, but very pretty and touching, I’d recommend it if you like character driven stories—especially ones about LGBT issues because it’s very good in that regard.

 Hail, Caesar – 7 – underrated mystery film by the Coen’s about old Hollywood and communists. More along the lines of the Big Lebowski than No Country For Old Men. Just a really fun movie with a great sense of world building that makes 1930s Hollywood really come alive.

 Deadpool – 7 – pretty funny and exactly the kind of movie Ryan Reynolds and fans wanted. Probably the only good Marvel movie made by Fox.

 The Witch – 8 – a visceral and disturbing film about a cursed life in 1600s New England, The Witch (stylized as The VVitch) is one of the best horror movies I’ve ever seen. Be warned though, it’s the definition of slow burn horror so you’ll probably dislike it if you’re used to modern horror films.

 10 Cloverfield Lane – 7 – one of the big surprises of the year and also one of the most thrilling, Mary Elizabeth Winstead and John Goodman both give excellent performances. It’s basically a bottle episode completely unrelated to the first film. People have criticized Winstead’s character for her actions at the end but it completes her character arc perfectly so it definitely works.

 Room – 8 – beautiful film. Somewhat overrated.

 Brooklyn – 8 – one of my favorites from 2015 and immensely enjoyable from start to finish. This story of an Irish girl moving to Brooklyn shows that the conflict doesn’t have to be high stakes for it to be compelling.

 Batman v Superman – 4 – wow surprise surprise, Zack Snyder made another shit movie. Awful film full of clichés and nonsensical dialogue, bizarre editing, and the incredibly moronic decision to try and kickstart an entire cinematic universe in a dreadfully painful 2+ hour runtime. This movie sucks and DC needs to either hire some competent scriptwriters and directors or just give up already.

 Zootopia – 7 – ah the quintessential furry movie 2016. I really enjoyed this and it has great rewatch value. One of the most beautifully animated movies of the year.

 Midnight Special – 6 – I had no expectations for this movie and I was pleasantly surprised by it, although somewhat let down by the ending. It’s an interesting story about a kid with unknown supernatural powers being smuggled to a specific coordinates where he says something will happen. The mystery unfolds throughout the run time and there are some pretty cool scenes. Fun sci-fi to rent maybe.

 Midnight in Paris – 7 – 1920s Paris is arguably one of the best eras to be alive in and Woody Allen captures the magic of the period well. As with most modern Woody Allen films it’s pretty cheesy—especially the modern day scenes—but the scenes that take place in the 1920s with F Scott Fitzgerald, Ernest Hemingway, Gertrude Stein, and Picasso are truly a delight. One of my favorite movies from 2011.

 Captain America Civil War – 7 – not bad but much worse than Winter Soldier. It was enjoyable at least and miles ahead of Avengers 2.

 Green Room – 8 – a disturbing, white-knuckle rollercoaster of a film that follows a punk band as they fight off a bar full of alt-righ—I mean neo-nazis. An absolute must-see.

 The Nice Guys – 7 – fun from start to finish, Ryan Gosling and Russell Crowe give two funny and over the top performances in this 1970s period film about two detectives who get caught up in a case that’s way over their heads. Definite recommendation. Crowe’s performance in the first third/half or so is very melodramatic and over the top cool-guy but I believe it was intended to be tongue in cheek so don’t let it throw you.

 The Jungle Book – 6 – not bad.

 Raiders of the Lost Ark – 9 – a near perfect movie and one of, if not the best action movie of all time.

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 Make Happy – 8 – Bo Burnham tweeted about a special premiere screening of his new special back in March so I bought tickets and went with Andrew to see it. We went to the Largo in West Hollywood and were treated to a short comedy show and the grand premiere of Make Happy, Bo’s last one-man show for the foreseeable future. It was an incredible experience.

 The World of Tomorrow – 8 – it’s only 16 minutes and it’s by Don Herzfeldt—what’s not to love? Get ready for an existential crisis.

 The Conjuring 2 – 7 – pretty spooky in some parts with a cool little i spy game you can play with the name of the ghost demon lady. Not as good as the first.

 Finding Dory – 7 – older Pixar films have a certain level of charm that all their films post-Toy Story 3 (barring Monsters University) don’t seem to have and this is no exception. It was very enjoyable but it just felt like it doesn’t have the magic that the old ones have.

 The Shallows – 4 – the amount of praise this movie received was deadass baffling. This is one of the worst movies I’ve seen this year and I don’t see how so many people missed the cliché dialogue and plot, ridiculous shark cgi, exploitative ass shots, and absolutely insane and unrealistic attempts to kill the shark. Critics and audiences comparing this to Jaws is an insult to not only Spielberg, but also the art of filmmaking itself.

 Frances Ha – 9 – one of my favorite movies of all time, this black and white indie film by Noah Baumbach and Greta Gerwig is a cozy tale of solipsistic loneliness, friendship, and following your dreams. It’s depressing, but in a very relatable and reassuring way. Greta Gerwig as the New York dancer Frances is so believable that seeing her in other roles feels almost disingenuous. Honestly if you watch anything on this list you should watch this first, foremost and as soon as possible. It’s on netflix!

 Mistress America – 7 – another one by Noah Baumbach and Greta Gerwig and it was actually my introduction to their work. I loved this movie when I first saw it but it pales in comparison to Frances. Still a great movie with wonderful acting and snappy as hell dialogue. Fun fact: Noah Baumbach worked with Wes Anderson in the past and it shows here, especially in the dialogue.

 The Neon Demon – 8 – one of the most polarizing films of the year but a definite return to form by the near infamous Nicolas Winding Refn. The success of the 2011 masterpiece Drive was not good for Refn’s ego apparently as he followed it up with the nauseatingly self-indulgent Only God Forgives. Thank goodness he was able to find a balance between pure art film and accessible indie film with the Neon Demon. It’s by no means very accessible but the acting, especially from the main girls and a sleazy Keanu Reeves, is great and the visuals are incredibly surreal and v e r y v e r y n e o n . Recommend if you like artsy films with lots of sex and blood.

 Back to the Future – 10 – a textbook example of what a perfect movie looks like.

 It Follows – 8 – nothing but love for this creepy and atmospheric 2015 horror/suspense film about the end of childhood and the impending dread of adulthood. Really it’s about a supernatural shape shifting thing with its “rule” being that acts like an std being passed down through sexual partners. If the thing catches you, it then goes after the previous person in the chain and so on, so the only way to save yourself is to pass it on or run endlessly in futility. Please do see this it’s great.

 The Secret Life of Pets – 6 – a disappointment but Louis CK as a dog was fun to see.

 Hush – 5 – not very good Netflix horror movie about a guy terrorizing a deaf lady at her home in the woods for some reason.

 Snatch – 6 – I suppose if I were more familiar with Guy Ritchie’s work I would’ve enjoyed it more but it looks like it was shot by a Tarantino wannabe edgelord and edited in windows moviemaker. Still entertaining though.

 Horace and Pete – 10 – Horace and Pete is a dramedy web series multi-camera sitcom written, directed, and produced by Louis CK and it’s the single best serial program I’ve ever seen. This is a true masterpiece in every sense and the writing and acting is some of the best in a serial program. It was so good that I actually could not enjoy anything else for days after because everything paled in comparison. For example, I watched Stranger Things the day after I finished this and I had to stop watching three episodes in because it was completely and utterly awful compared to Horace and Pete. The quality of writing is unbelievable and I laughed and cried at many many points. Louis CK, Steve Buscemi, Edie Falco, and Alan Alda, bring career defining performances to the small screen and I cannot wait to watch it again—although I’m not sure I’m prepared for it.

 Breathless (1960) – 7 – one of the most defining films of the French New Wave, this film by Jean Luc-Godard is a love story shot in some of the most unconventional ways I’ve seen in a film. It’s not surreal or weird but it certainly is interesting. Worth a watch if you like the cinematography of Wes Anderson, Woody Allen, or Louis CK—although it’s a much more saturated French New Wave style since all those styles are derivative of this. Has some of the most intriguing and innovative tracking/dolly shots I’ve ever seen. In fact, at one point two characters are walking down the street but they couldn’t afford a dolly for the tracking shot, so they had the cameraman sit in a wheelchair and film while someone pulled him backwards to make the shot. Really that’s what French New Wave is all about: innovating and using filmmaking techniques that were unprecedented at the time.

 Star Trek Beyond – 6 – a really fun return to the franchise that actually felt somewhat like a Star Trek film—unlike that last one. It’s still just an action movie franchise now but it’s just a real good time.

 Lights Out – 3 – again, the praise this film received was COMPLETELY unwarranted and totally baffling. This movie blows and is so saturated with clichés that I can’t imagine liking this film. don’t waste ur time.

 Mike & Dave Need Wedding Dates – 5 – actually hilarious movie. Really dumb but so goddamn funny. Zach Efron and Adam Devine are a great duo. Has arguably the best exchange about fisting in the history of film.

 Café Society – 6 – a pretty good modern Woody Allen film. Much better than his last two, Irrational Man and Magic in the Moonlight. It’s nice to see a film from Woody Allen that isn’t about a much older man falling in love with a much younger woman.

 Suicide Squad – 2 – “roses are red/there is no god/my favorite movie?/suicide squad.” – Gideon Ondap deadass one of the worst movies I have ever seen. I wrote a 10 page essay on this after it came out but basically the editing is jarring enough to induce brain trauma, the acting is atrocious, and the script is objectively bad. A complete and utter failure of a film. The name is a warning.

 The Room – 1 – another one of the worst movies I’ve ever seen yet 1000x more enjoyable than Suicide Squad. Tommy Wisseau is a genius and this is his magnum opus. Required viewing. Also I must say that a Suicide Squad/The Room double feature makes for one of the funniest nights of life.

 Scott Pilgrim vs The World – 8 – honestly one of my favorite movies. A super well done adaptation directed by Edgar Wright, this film is able to stand independently next to the already spectacular Scott Pilgrim graphic novel series. The music is incredible. It never gets old.

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 Sausage Party – 5 – obscene, racist, vulgar, and dumb as hell with a giant food orgy at one point. Still laughed at much of it.

 Captain Fantastic – 8 – a dad raising his kids to survive in the wilderness of Washington must bring them into society to attend their dead mother’s funeral. A big surprise and one of the most enjoyable movies I saw this year.

 Don’t Think Twice – 8 – Mike Birbiglia has always been one of my favorite comedians because his stories were so heartwarming, wholesome, and packed to the brim with jokes that would reward you on multiple viewings or listens. Don’t Think Twice is Mike’s second movie I believe, and it’s about an improv group in Brooklyn having fun doing their craft while trying to make a life for themselves. When you’re a comedian/improviser,, your friends are too, but if one of you actually gets a big break then it’s that person’s break and no one else’s. It causes a lot of tension between performers because even though they’re all friends, they’re still actively competing in a highly sought after profession. Judd Apatow came out after he saw the movie and said how accurately it depicts the life of comedy performers. It’s a really depressing (in a relatable way) and realistic take on the competitive world of improv and deals with friendship, comedy, and how cruel life can really be. Beautiful movie.

 American Beauty – 8 – really did not like this the first time but warmed up to it on the second viewing and it really shines despite many dated aspects.

 Antz – 6 – woody allen as a ant oy vey

 Back to the Future II – 5 – pretty bad sequel until he goes back to 1955. Worse than the third tbh

 Everybody Wants Some!! – 7 – even after the abortion that was Boyhood I didn’t give up on Richard Linklater and I’m glad I didn’t. This spiritual sequel to Dazed and Confused (but in the 80s this time!) was a ton of fun.

 Clapping for the Wrong Reasons – 8 – this short film written by Donald Glover and directed by Hiro Murai is about a surreal day in the life of The Boy, a character Donald Glover created as the speaker of his Because the Internet album (his magnum opus imo). Hot take: Chance v Bino push up contest contender for best film scene ever.

 Kubo and the Two Strings – 7 – the most beautiful disappointment of the year. The incredible stop motion animation is unfortunately much more enjoyable than the underwhelming story. Not as good as Coraline.

 Hell or High Water – 8 – the director of photography from Sicario returns for this modern western about two brothers who rob the banks that screwed over their mother. Great performances from Jeff Bridges, Ben Foster, and Chris Pine.

 Don’t Breathe – 7 – this horror film about three thieves who break into an old blind man’s house borders on exploitation film towards the end. Not that bad.

 Blair Witch – 6 – not as bad as everyone said it was. It’s a soft reboot of 99’s Blair Witch Project but with a modern horror twist—which means it relies mainly on jump scares and unnecessary use of found footage tropes rather than atmosphere building and genuine terror. I still thoroughly enjoyed it and thought the last 15 minutes or so were really spooky. The creature design was really great and the way time moved was an interesting horror device. If you liked the first one but were bored by it then you’ll probably like this one because it moves a bit faster although you might be bored by it too. Oh but side note: that drone scene was fucking stupid.

 Over The Garden Wall – 10 – this 10 episode cartoon network animated miniseries aired in the fall of 2014 and follows two boys as they wander through the woods to find their way back home. It stars Elijah Wood, Christopher Lloyd, Melanie Lynskey, John Cleese, Tom Lennon, and Tim Curry among others. The story itself is inspired by Dante Alighieri’s Inferno and the music is inspired by early 20th century Americana folk music. It’s literally the single most charming thing I’ve ever seen and it’s an absolute MUST SEE.

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 Doctor Strange – 7 – not much to say about this one but I liked it. The visuals were top notch and although Dr Strange is basically just Tony Stark pt 2, it makes sense considering how much lesser of a role Stark will play in later movies. I’m really excited for the new Thor movie now.

 The Purge Election Year – 4 – each Purge movie is better than the last and this third installment is still a 4. That’s pretty much all there is to say. There are some legitimately hilarious parts in this though—all unintentional.

 O Brother, Where Art Thou? – 7 – another silly Coen film and one of their most accessible. Good film based on the Odyssey.

 Arrival – 9 – Dennis Villeneuve is quickly becoming one of my favorite directors after last year’s Sicario and now 2016’s Arrival. This is a film about humanity, the complete frivolity of our problems, and how staying divided will be our undoing. The cinematography is breathtaking, the score is great (much of it follows the circle of 5ths, which will make sense after watching), the acting is good, and the film just has a beautiful sense of scope to it. I encourage you to watch this and DON’T WATCH ANY TRAILERS OR READ ANYTHING ABOUT IT. I assure you; you’ll want to go into this as blind as possible (and you should never watch trailers anyway they literally ruin films).  In Trump’s America this movie is even more important so please I urge you to watch this.

 Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them – 5 – the Phantom Menace of the Harry Potter universe, Fantastic Beasts has so much exposition and forced world building that anyone who hasn’t seen the first 8 hp films will probably have a tough time figuring out what’s going on. The opening sequence is literally just a montage of newspaper headlines saying how terrible this dark wizard is, which was done in harry potter but over the span of roughly 3 movies rather than 1 minute. Overall positives: the creature designs were fun, Jacob was rad, the humor was effective, the cgi wasn’t /that/ bad, newt’s hair was wavy af (and he was a hufflepuff, which I appreciate), and the costumes may get an Oscar nomination. As for the cons: so much panning, craning, and tracking that I could barely see what was going on due to low framerate, the first 10-15 minutes are a suicide squad level editing disaster, the pacing was weird at times, they revealed who the main antagonist was in his actual first scene, too many plotlines interweaved, inexcusably bad framing in a few shots, and the ending was a little bit Chekhov’s gun but was pretty much deus ex machina. This just didn’t feel as magical as the harry potter films and, like star wars 7, it feels like a failed attempt to recapture what made people love the franchise in the first place. It was a very flawed film but I still enjoyed it and will watch it again.

 Moana – 6 – VERY overrated but still good. How a lot of people felt about Frozen is how I feel about this movie. The animation was incredible, the voice acting was great, the songs were good (although not nearly as catchy or memorable as Frozen, save for Shiny) and it ends up being another Tangled, a movie I enjoyed but will forget about very soon—hell I’ve already forgotten about it. Just think about how long Frozen was a thing. People were talking about Frozen for months after and I haven’t seen anyone mention Moana since its opening weekend. Overall a huge disappointment. Zootopia was the far superior animated feature this year.

 The Handmaiden – 8 – my first Park Chan-wook film and I loved it ! This film is fucking enigma for the first half and then as soon as one detail is revealed it suddenly opens up and becomes an incredible psychological thriller. I honestly was not enjoying this film for the first act or so because of how seemingly meaningless it was but it really shaped up to be one of my favorites of the year. Never before have I experienced a film that made me 180 on opinion during the course of its runtime. Be warned: don’t see this with your parents or anyone you would feel awkward watching porn with because this shit is basically pornography at MANY points during the film. I don’t know if my friend and his brother have forgiven me yet.

 Unedited Footage of a Bear – 8 – there’s a tl;dr at the bottom of this one because it’s a little long and expository. I was watching an idubbbz video (https://youtu.be/5Bs45yITIt0) back in November and many criticized how unfunny and bizarre it was compared to his other content. People started to speculate that he was doing a metafictional series about his channel along the lines of alantutorial (https://www.youtube.com/user/alantutorial), a channel in which performance artist Alan Resnick plays a fictionalized version of himself who is depicted as a mentally ill young man obsessed with making tutorial videos. This alantutorial series is a commentary on poorly made tutorial videos that flood youtube, as well as social media in general and the overwhelming desire for likes, favorites, going viral, etc. after discovering Alan Resnick and watching all his videos I started to seek out his other content and I found this short film that aired as part of Adult Swim’s infomercial slot at 4 a.m. This may sound familiar to some as the timeslot for Too Many Cooks, which went viral. This short film, titled Unedited Footage of a Bear, can be watched here: https://youtu.be/2gMjJNGg9Z8 and parodies those commercials you’ll often see on tv about drugs that are peddled to mentally ill people without proper testing. This film depicts addiction as a force that can and will ruin your life, your family’s life, and will kill you if left unchecked. There’s an explanation you can watch here: https://youtu.be/_2e5ia9j0TA that explains it really well and is worth the watch. tl;dr: cool 10-minute short horror film about addiction by performance artist Alan Resnick – check it out.

Twin Peaks (Pilot) – 8 – it was good

 This House Has People In It – 8 – hey look another Alan Resnick short film. you can watch it here: https://youtu.be/x-pj8OtyO2I and the attempted explanation is here: https://youtu.be/mjBTAnCUbZc because this one is pretty complicated compared to footage of a bear. also worth the watch simply for the L O R E

 No Country For Old Men – 10 – one of the best movies of this century hands down. not sure if I rate it quite as high as There Will Be Blood though, which came out the same year. The Coen’s crowning achievement (although you could argue that title belongs to The Big Lebowski for reasons)

 Moonlight – 9 – a very heavy coming of age film about a young boy living in the south who attempts to find himself while growing up in an incredibly unforgiving environment. beautiful film and I’m excited to see it again. very very important film for LGBT issues.

 Nocturnal Animals – 8 – one of the biggest surprises this year. I LOVED this movie and it stayed with me for days. as soon as it started I made a mental note that I’d have to really pay attention to everything because I figured it would be heavy with metaphor and symbolism and boi was I right about that. Amy Adams and Jake Gyllenhaal give great performances and I honestly can’t tell you the last time I got so emotionally invested in a film. people have criticized Adams’ performance as melodramatic and cold, which is the point because she’s not supposed to be likeable. the narrative structure is refreshing and fun to piece together and the visuals were pretty alright. my favorite part of this movie was piecing together all the metaphors (of which there are many) and figuring out what the events of the Nocturnal Animals manuscript (in the film) means for the characters. It’s been a very polarizing film apparently, which surprised me since it doesn’t really try to be anything more than it is. It definitely rewards close observation but I can’t guarantee everyone will like this one. I won’t say more because going into it blind is the best way but I do recommend it. Tense, emotional, gripping, funny. It’s good.

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 Star Wars Rogue One – 8 – I really enjoyed this. I probably don’t need to say much because it’s star wars but this was the best star wars film since Empire Strikes Back in my opinion (although episode III wasn’t that bad). the characters were a little flat, some of the humor was out of place, and the first 30 minutes had bad pacing, but overall it was great. the action in this one was insane and I’m so happy that we finally got to see a proper space battle (and holy shit is it a good one). this has one of my favorite moments of the entire series and it actually feels like a star wars movie unlike episode VII.

 La La Land – 10 – I’m at a loss for words honestly. This movie is so fucking good. The soundtrack is incredible, the choreography is awesome, the cinematography is BEAUTIFUL, and the performances are wonderful. I could keep thinking of adjectives or I could just tell you to go see this movie as soon as you can. Best movie of the year hands down. LA has never looked so fucking good OH MAN please go see this movie you’ll surely regret it if you don’t. OH and we went to see this in the Vista Theater in LA, which was a once in a lifetime experience. See this in the most old-Hollywood theater you can because it actually improves it if that’s possible. Now there are some flaws, mainly in third act pacing, but it’s so enjoyable that it doesn’t matter.

 Ferris Bueller’s Day Off – 10 – it’s a classic and could be considered a perfect film. not much to say but it’s definitely one of my favorites of all time. never gets old.

 Home Alone – 8 – this was the first time I watched Home Alone and I liked it.

 Assassin’s Creed – 6 – the neckbeard-y guy doing anime runs up and down the stairs of the theatre behind us really set the tone for this movie. I didn’t hate it but it was pretty dreary and I feel like almost nothing happened. I don’t think it translates to the screen well but it did capture the feel of the games, or at least the first one. Let’s just say after seeing this I went on a mission to watch at least one more movie so it wouldn’t be my last of the year.

 Swiss Army Man – 7 – the praise for this movie was a bit unwarranted. It’s really silly and touching but it wasn’t the modern masterpiece that everyone was saying it was. maybe I missed something but the corpse of Daniel Radcliffe farting is only tolerable and funny for so long. I will say that this is one of the most unique movies I’ve ever seen, so I’ll give it props for that, and the soundtrack was actually incredible. I enjoyed it very much and need to watch it again but it was alright.

Come Together – 8 – an H&M short film by Wes Anderson that can be watched here: https://youtu.be/VDinoNRC49c . It was cute and I guess it’ll hold me over until Isle of Dogs, which comes out in 2018 (no it won’t)

 The Lobster – 8 – this absurd commentary on relationships and their influence on society is just bizarre and has a wonderfully dry performance from Colin Farrell and, well, every other actor too. this film is just crazy and I really need to watch it again. Expect it to be on my next year’s list as well. TOP TEN RELEASED IN 2016 xxx 10 – The Nice Guys

9 – Hell or High Water

8 – The Handmaiden

7 – Don’t Think Twice

6 – The Witch

5 – Moonlight

4 – Nocturnal Animals

3 – Green Room

2 – Arrival

1 – La La Land honorable mentions: Captain Fantastic, Horace and Pete, The Neon Demon, Make Happy recommendations: Frances Ha, Mistress America, Over the Garden Wall, The World of Tomorrow, Midnight in Paris, Me, and Earl, and the Dying Girl, The Lobster and finally the award for worst movie of the year goes to ,,,,, SUICIDE SQUAD duh. In 2016 I watched 77 movies, which is terrible considering I watched 124 last year and 92 in 2014. That gap from September to November really killed me in that regard and hopefully it won’t happen again or for as long next time. Overall this was actually a pretty weak year for movies it seems. Looking at my top of the year list, it looks significantly weaker than last year’s which had The Revenant, It Follows, Me and Earl and the Dying Girl, Sicario, and Brooklyn. If anyone has questions or suggestions about anything I’d love to have a discussion so feel free. Here’s to another year of great movies. also if you’d like to follow me on twitter @thejoeydavis please do because I’m a huge slut for likes and I desperately want and need your approval. thanks for reading