#I’m very tired and it makes my brain extra silly

[gimmigardens]

(@ask-the-shiny-pokemons) Noelle approaches the strange Gimmighoul. She smiles as she hears them humming.

"Hi! Ya remindin' me of Rim, she loves humming when she's happy... Anyways, I don't think I've saw someone as you before. Can you tell about yourself?"

“Nice to meet you,” They return Noelles smile humming a few more notes before blinking. “Oh wait you had a question right. Hmm I guess I could tell you but I’m not really that interesting.” There was another pause as the gimmighoul tried to think of something to say, “hmm I like… cloud watching. They make pretty shapes even if the sun makes me feel funny. Oh, Sometimes I help Jade with his shop. Mostly I just wander around. There’s a lot of cool stuff to look at but I don’t go to far from the hoard… some of the others do but momma says I’m still to young. I don’t really mind though.”

[a-substantial-trash-pile]

hey guess what. it's finally time for my Stardew Valley Loredump. i’m about to ramble about my farmer and yo-yo/yoba and shane in a probably long-ass, disjointed post because i have a problem ok. not expecting anyone to read it all of course—just want to finally write these brainstorming shenanigans down. the loredump will be below the cut below the image 👇 (WARNING: IT'S LONG):

SAMUEL IZAWA:

*samuel is 28 years old, pan, japanese okinawan (no im not self projecting hahaha), and goes by he/they. main thing is that they’re from “our world” where stardew valley is a video game, but he died and ended up in the stardew universe. because i think isekai tropes are fun and silly. as the player, samuel can do things others in the stardew world can’t do, such as: 

summon the in-game HUD that’s only visible to him, so he can see health/energy levels and inventory and all that.

speaking of inventory, it’s essentially a pocket dimension samuel can shove stuff in. the inventory doesn’t really care about size/weight/etc as long as it’s something the system considers an “item.” so like samuel can put a whole ass four poster bed in there but he can’t do that to a person or a whole house. samuel just needs to touch the item to make it disappear into his inventory. he can then summon it back out when he needs it. the game’s inventory limit system remains the same. samuel gets 12 slots on their own, but if they have a bag on them it increases to 36.

can access the player menu you can normally access in game. so like profile, skills, collections, relationships, etc are all there. no options or quit tab though. having the relationship tab is a nightmare for samuel, who has major insecurities about what people think of him. that tab is a quantifiable measure on how much people like him. it a real brain demon for him to know it exists and is right there for him to access anytime. 

can see the “stats” of food and healing items. hp/energy recovery amounts, buffs, etc. 

*funny thing is that samuel has never played SDV himself and only has knowledge based on what he’s heard and seen online secondhand. ironically he was planning on playing the game for the first time before the whole dying thing ruined it. they can’t even remember how they died, but it doesn’t bother them as much as they think it should. they didn’t leave much behind in that life.

*anyway, i’m talking a lot of game terms here, but don’t get it twisted. while samuel has all these game systems going on, the SDV world is very much a real one that doesn’t normally work by that logic. by that i mean time flows normally like in our world and there isn’t just 4 months in a year. things exist outside the valley. there’s a whole planet of places and people. 

*luckily samuel has help in navigating this new world in the form of yo-yo the junimo, who is the first living thing samuel sees when he first wakes up in that joja cubicle. yo-yo helps explain a lot of things and guide samuel around in its own abrasive way. he’s also there to be like, “hey i gave you a second chance at life so you kinda owe me actually. sign this contract.” and samuel, who is a pushover and also confused, is just like, “ok.” (yo-yo sounds like danny devito btw. because i think it’s funny.) 

*i call the contract a “magical girl contract” because that’s essentially what it is. samuel gets access to extra powers/abilities on top the stuff he can already do as a player. in return he fights monsters n shit for yo-yo and generally does things for them that they can’t do easily on their own. the extra benefits include: 

higher pain tolerance. which isn’t always a good thing. especially when you tend to not be great with self-preservation like samuel is. 

can heal most injuries by just eating/drinking stuff to regain hp.

yo-yo can teleport the both of them around as needed, but it’s tiring and it drains a lot of magic. distance matters too.

yo-yo can spawn items but it drains magic as well. the more valuable/rare the item, the more draining it is. spawning items is already a magic-intensive thing in the first place. also yo-yo isn’t creating the item out of nothing. they’re actually randomly taking it from wherever it already exists in the world. for example, say yo-yo “spawns” a jar of pickles. somebody in the world is going to open their fridge and discover their jar of pickles is missing or maybe a grocery store will have a sudden empty spot on its shelf. yo-yo doesn’t have control of where the items are taken from (or so they claim).

samuel and yo-yo’s magic pools became connected so they can both do more than they could do on their own before. this is one of the reasons why yo-yo wanted a contract with samuel, who has a larger magic pool than normal due to being from another world. but it’s possible for one side to use up all the magic for the both of them. 

*samuel’s personality can be summed up as Awkward People-Pleasing Tired Sad Garbage Dork. either he’s dressed like a grandparent in sweaters and turtlenecks or he’s wearing a button up shirt with the collar undone and jeans. they usually have their neck covered in public to hide the mark of yoba embedded there. he has a “resting bitch face” as some may call, but that’s just because his brain is busy over-analyzing 193828 different things. he loves being outside in the grass and dirt, looking at bugs n shit. he’s also a nerd who likes to play video games and ramble about the lore in them (he likes RPGs the most, but if the game’s got a good story and cool world, he’s into it). they like to do things with their hands like model building/painting. in their new stardew life, they get into woodcarving after willy teaches them the basics (he carves shane a little chicken). 

*samuel does NOT know how to say “no.” absolute pushover. their self-worth is based on how much they’re liked by others, which isn’t healthy obviously. he has a fear that the only way he can be liked is by being useful. he’s scared that he is inherently a bad and selfish person, because he can’t say for sure if he’s helping others purely out of kindness or because it just makes him feel better about existing. deep down there’s anger/frustration that’s accumulated over the years, anger towards himself and also others because he’s always doing things for other people—going above and beyond—but it never feels like enough. at the same time though, they hate it when these thoughts come up because they believe that you shouldn’t go into helping somebody expecting that you’ll get something out of it. he hates how much of a hypocrite he is. he hates how he bases so much of his self-worth on the opinions of others, but feels helpless to it. they usually just push these emotions down because samuel feels guilty about them. how can they be a good person if they’re thinking like this? how can they deserve to exist with this mindset? however they get a chance to let out the anger/bitterness/frustration through fighting monsters. kind of disassociating in a way. this also isn’t a good thing because his demeanor is much colder and scarier during combat. having someone who’s felt powerless for so long suddenly gain power is a dangerous thing.

*this mindset when monster fighting shatters when samuel meets krobus and realizes that monsters aren’t just the simple enemy NPCs their brain had been automatically categorizing them as. guilt galore. he gets real depressed about that for a while but yo-yo, krobus, and shane are there to help him. 

*SPEAKING OF SHANE… it’s crush at first sight for samuel because hot damn is shane their type. i mean just look at him. mamma mia. haha anyyyway, they first meet at the stardrop saloon. samuel’s waiting at the bar for his to-go order near where shane is drinking. shane’s looking sad, so samuel gives in and decides they’ll start a convo to maybe distract him from whatever’s bothering him. samuel employs the “crack a dumb joke to hide the fact that i’m nervous because i’m talking to a hot person and then use that opening to introduce myself” strat. shane, being an asshole, is like, “oh so you’re the new farmer. here’s a tip: don’t bother me.” samuel takes 999 damage and their brain immediately goes “THIS IS MY FAULT I FUCKED UP like who wants to be talked to by a stranger when they’re sad goddammit why am i so bad at this?!!” it’s overall not a great first impression. after that, samuel tries to avoid shane out of embarrassment, but circumstances keep making them run into each other. for instance, samuel works a lot with marnie with her being a mentor figure to him in animal husbandry, so he and shane have a lot of opportunity to interact through that (plus marnie is secretly trying to get them closer to each other). through these meetings and shenanigans, samuel and shane get to know each other better until one day they’re friends. then good friends. then best friends. then kiss friends. then marry friends. :)

YOBA (A.K.A. YO-YO): 

*yo-yo is ????? years old and goes by any pronouns but most of the time it's it/they.

*yo-yo is actually THE yoba, but they’re not the completely benevolent creator-of-all-things humans have made them out to be. maybe they were in the past, but now they’re selfish and rude and swear a lot. but they do still care, even if they don’t admit it (tsundere-ass). yoba is currently stuck in the form of a little junimo and is substantially weakened because it gave too much of itself away to the world in the past and got burned for it. because the world kept taking and taking. and now there’s war and pollution and shit and yoba/yo-yo is maybe just a teensy tiny bit angry and bitter now. but it’s ok because now they got this human from another reality to help them reclaim the pieces of itself. and maybe along the way relearn how to love the world again.  

*oh also yoba didn’t create the whole planet like the creation story claims. they’re technically an alien that came across a young planet full of life and decided to stay and help it develop. 

*main reason yo-yo made a contract with samuel is because it needs help finding/reclaiming the pieces of itself. pieces can usually be found in strong monsters empowered by the piece. this isn’t always the case though. sometimes it’s in an ancient artifact. sometimes it’s in a specific place like a temple. sometimes it’s in a person. 

*samuel doesn’t have to deal with having an existential crisis about yo-yo, since he’s from our world where yoba doesn’t even exist as a god. yo-yo claims to be the one responsible for bringing samuel over into the stardew universe, but there are holes in their story. where did yoba even find the power to do such a thing when they’re in such a weakened state? mysterious. 

*the first time yoba reveals itself to shane is kind of chaotic. it’s in the middle of the night when yo-yo suddenly appears in shane’s room, grabs his face with its little stick arms and yells, “WAKE UP!!! YOUR BOYFRIEND IS IN MORTAL PERIL!!!” shane is like, “WHAT THE F–”     it was an act of desperation on yo-yo’s part, because samuel was in trouble and shane was the only one it could think of going to for help. essentially samuel meets something Bad in the deep mines, something that takes him out of commission and puts him in a trance state while draining his lifeforce. y’know, the classic kind of trance state where you need to figure out how to get the person back–how to snap them out of it. yo-yo tried and failed, so that’s where shane comes in. it’s the classic “love-interest-breaks-main-character-out-of-mind-control-with-sheer-power-of-love” trope. except shane does punch samuel during it. lovingly. in the face. hey it works ok.     after the chaos is over and everyone’s safe and gathered together, samuel and yo-yo explain everything to shane (well more like samuel explains everything while yo-yo wishes outloud that they had their memory erasing powers back). shane, who is canonically an atheist, learns that this talking pottymouthed jerkass apple is actually THE yoba and is just like, “yeah. this might as well happen.” and then he remains atheist because what else are you going to do when you learn that god is a talking pottymouthed jerkass apple who calls you a bitch and is also responsible for your partner having to go do dangerous shit. he and yo-yo have a rocky relationship at first to say the least. but once they both realize how much the other cares about samuel, things get a little better. 

*yeah, yoba may be a bitch and they may be angry and they may be bitter, but they really do care, even if they try to convince themselves otherwise. even though so much got taken from it, it still cares about humans and dwarves and shadow people and everything else on the planet. and when it eventually comes down to it, yoba will step up to protect what it loves, even if it means losing everything again. 

SHANE FINCH: 

*this post was technically supposed to just be about my farmer and yo-yo’s lore and stuff, but i gotta give some personal headcanons i have about shane… like for instance his last name is “finch.” because i thought the bird theme was cute. he’s 29 years old, bi, and half asian, half white (in our world that asian half is korean). i’m not being specific because i don’t know if korea even exists in the stardew world, since all we know in the game is that there’s a “ferngill republic” and a “gotoro empire.” i was thinking of just headcanoning that stardew’s planet is essentially the same as earth. so like most of the same countries/nations exist except the history diverged a bit along the way, leading to the ferngill republic and gotoro empire. OK SORRY for the tangent—back on topic.

*so shane is a trans man who started transitioning back in high school. he had two best friends who were very supportive and really helped him on his journey to figure himself out. those two friends were like family to him. it was good that he had this support because his parents were always pretty shitty and shane transitioning just made them act even shittier. the only good family member of shane’s is marnie, who was supportive, but she lived far away, was busy, AND wasn’t on good terms with her sister (shane’s mom), so shane didn’t get to see her much. 

*the moment shane became a legal adult, he got away from his parents, finding a place with his two best friends and moving in together. oh and his friends’ names were rosa and heath. should’ve probably mentioned that earlier oops.     shane, rosa, and heath go to the same college together, suffer student loans, graduate, etc. haven’t thought of what shane would get a degree in yet—most likely something “generic” because he’s unsure of what he wants to do himself (i feel u bby). 

*ok so rosa and heath were dating since high school, but they were so comfortable with shane and vice versa that things never got that awkward living together. however when rosa and heath got married (“yoba, FINALLY,” shane would say), shane felt like it was time to find his own place, much to the devastation of his bffs. the apartment ended up close to where rosa and heath lived of course—the couple made sure of it (“stop backseating my apartment hunting!” “MAKE US”). 

*rosa and heath get pregnant and have a healthy baby girl that they name jasmine. i headcanon jas as black (from heath’s side) and portuguese (rosa’s side). everyone is thrilled about the baby. shane was immediately offered godfather role and he happily accepted. jas was the cutest baby ever and he adored her. he babysat jas all the time. 

*jas was 4 years old when rosa and heath tragically passed away in a car accident. they were coming home from a business dinner when they lost control of their car on some black ice and slid into oncoming traffic. shane was babysitting jas when he got the call. in the span of one cold winter night, shane and jas’s world shattered. 

*rosa and heath didn’t have any reliable relatives either. those relatives only came to take the money and belongings. shane was the only one jas had, so he adopted her. he tried his best to pick up the pieces. he really did. he lasted for a year trying to raise a kid on his own with the salary of a dead-end job, but he knew the situation wasn’t good with the money and how much his mental health was spiraling. he knew he and jas were in dire need of more support (“jas deserves better than this”). so he turned to the one person he had left to rely on: his aunty marnie. and that’s how shane and jas ended up in pelican town.

*shane’s joja jacket was actually originally rosa’s. rosa worked as an accountant for joja and would get free promotional items all the time from the company. the jacket was one of the only things she actually ended up using because “it’s pretty comfy for being joja bs.” she would wear it all the time, much to her more fashion-conscious husband’s chagrin (yet he would patch up any holes she’d get in it anyway). after rosa died, shane kept her jacket. there were a lot of memories in it. 

~~~

ok that’s it for now. if anyone actually read all that, thank you for even wasting your time to process my ramblings. i’m sorry it’s so fucking long like jfc.

*who is mr. qi?

[julietsbb]

so pondphuwin legal drama tv show where phuwin is a famous boxer with anger issues and pond is a defence lawyer

brought to you by a) pw being cute and doing silly boxing moves as they were shooting stuff for promoting fancon b) the pictures on pond in specs today and c) ppw in suits (and d) i want more unhinged angry phuwin content HE WOULD DO IT SO WELL and e) I want pond in more three piece suits and glasses and I’m desperate for him to have another role where he gets to sound intelligent/smart)

so Phuwin absolutely loses his shit at some asshole and beats him bloody I don’t care if it was justified or not or betty or righteous doesn’t matter but the dude hits him with an assault charge

And Phuwin can’t go to jail because then he can’t box and that would make him lose his mind because it’s the only way he knows to process his anger so IN COMES DEFENCE LAWYER POND who doesn’t even fucking want this case, he spends his time defending like, actually down on their luck people who deserves an extra chance BUT he’s also working in a corporate word that needs to make money and his boss told him to take the case because he’s friends with phuwin’s agent and pond is the bestest or some such and he owes his boss a favour

Anyways they obviously hate each other because phuwin’s anger at the entire situation keeps going off and makes pond’s job harder etc etc (also both of them are very attractive and they also hate that about each other)

And so it’s the night before the first hearing (they’ve been trying to dig up stuff to discredit the victim somehow) and pond snaps and is like “Jesus Christ if it can stop you from going off in court tomorrow just punch ME and get it out of your system I would prefer that actually” (it’s 2am and he has no filter left)

And pw’s character is like “????? what”

And pond is like “never mind I’m just tired” and pw’s like “no wait punching you sounds good actually could we do that because I’ve been wanting to punch your stupid fucking face with your stupid fucking glasses—“ and pond’s like “well if you’re punching me it’s sure as fuck not on my face because a) I need my glasses and b) it wouldn’t actually help your case if I showed up looking like my client with the assault charge just assaulted me, so it would defeat the purpose of it all” and then pw’s like well where the fuck can I hit you then and pond gives it serious consideration and it becomes, slowly, apparent, that he Knows Things™️ about being hit, saying stuff like “the meat of my thighs if I sit down or my buttocks if I’m lying down somewhere but that would be more awkward. possibly my chest too but let’s avoid my diaphragm and gut area” and like, he gets up and takes off his jacket???? and tie!??? and phuwin’s like “????????” but it also kind of makes him want to hit him more and pond tells him to control his punches so they don’t accidentally hit somewhere they shouldn’t and phuwin laughs in his face because don’t he know he’s talking to a professional boxer actually??

And so they find some way Phu gets to punch him in a way that’s Safe Sane and Consensual and phuwin thinks it’s weird as shit wtf kinda lawyer did they GIVE him but he…… can’t deny he feels better afterwards. And pond gets some MEAN bruises but they’re all covered up by clothes so it’s fine actually as he’d hoped his brain is much clearer after (actually after the first two punches pond has to tell him that he can hit harder than that it’s okay. phuwin hits harder)

Anyways court the next day isn’t a total disaster they haven’t lost YET bought themselves some more time the team celebrates with a beer that evening and they’re the only two left and phuwin’s tongue is loose enough to ask about it and pond’s is loose enough to answer, tell him about how people can enjoy pain in different ways, how it’s something he practises on occasion but has done so for a good long while and Phuwin is like o______o and like… “so it’s not just… punches?” And pond laughs in his face and tells him about how there’s a million different ways and types and personally he would usually prefer a heavy flogger to his back on a normal day but he’s tried this and that.

And phuwin’s char is FASCINATED and his fingers are starting to itch like they usually do for a boxing glove but less familiar and well worn, more new and existing. Exhilarating.

Anyways so Phuwin gets a new way to channel his anger and becomes the calmer for it in the rest of his life and pond guides him through it all very patiently whilst a) having a Great Time but also b) having a very Bad Time because he’s entering into a non-work intimate-but-not-sexual (yet) relationship with Important But Obnoxious Work Client (who really is less obnoxious once his shoulders unclench)

Also phuwin’s character has a cat that’s as aggressive as he is.

(Ps: maybe it turns out the “victim” was actually paid by one of pw’s competitors to deliberately piss him off to sabotage him or something I don’t know but they discover SOMETHING shady and thus there is plot they can bond over)

(Pps: they fall in love your honour)

[changingplumbob]

Chopra Household: Chapter 6, Part 8

The birthday continues! Most of the family have appointments to attend afterwards leaving Savannah and Viola under the care of nana Lavina. I mean it's not like she could be any worse than Alana the (insert your favourite swear word for mean nanny)

BTW it was daylight savings here so that's why my posts may seem an hour shifted for you...

If Viola is attempting to say something it will be in brackets, otherwise you can assume it's just trying out sounds Mercedes has a speech delay and may get words wrong, correct wording will be in brackets if that is the case Savannah aka Honeybee Mercedes aka Little Ladybug Viola aka Green Bean

Mercedes: Hey nana

Lavina: Happy birthday kiddo

Mercedes: I have bad news, papa went to the doctor and they found out he’s sick

Lavina: What? Oh why didn’t he tell me? I can’t lose him

Mercedes: Kidding!

Lavina: That’s not very funny young lady

Bizarre thing happened. Mercedes had rolled a like of deception but after this got a prompt saying she felt mischief was wrong? I like the game to have some say so while I did not add a dislike of mischief I changed her like of deception to silly behaviour to match her sister.

Milton: Oh hey you have cake

Savannah: Of course Milton, it’s a birthday party

Milton: That’s uncle Milton to you

Savannah: Mama do we really have to call him uncle? He’s only 2 years older than us

Cassandra: It’s important to be polite to family honeybee

Lavina: And respectful! You girls could learn more respect

Mercedes: *sighs* It was one joke nana

Cassandra: Lavina I have an appointment and Rahul needs to take Mercedes to one. Could you watch the kids for us please?

Savannah: I can watch the house mama

Lavina: Of course I can dear, take all the time you need

Savannah: But nana I can do it

Lavina: You’re six, you couldn’t take care of a fire. Now I hear your sister crying, go play outside or learn something

Savannah: Oh maybe I can find some cool bugs!

Lavina: Just don’t bring them into the house

Poor Viola has been trying to get to sleep but is still a bit overwhelmed by the party.

Lavina: Now what’s all this? You are making a habit of crying every time you see me Viola

Viola: *cries* ge da noo lu (I'm so tired, clapping took it out of me)

Lavina: Is nana scary huh? Big bad nana. Close your eyes and sleep, big bad nana can defend your crib from the monsters huh

Following some soothing Viola does manage to fall asleep as Lavina watches over her.

Outside Savannah isn’t having much luck. But around by the garden she spots some locusts, perfect, papa will approve of catching them! She grabs at them and manages to get hold of 2. Perhaps she can convince mama and papa to take her and Mercedes to Granite Falls so she can find more! Back inside she decides to tackle some homework.

Milton: Why are you holding your pencil like that

Savannah: Like what

Alexander: Don’t be rude Milton, not everyone does things the same way

Milton: Did you never use crayons

Savannah: *gruffly* I have a motor delay actually, pencils are hard

Milton: Oh, sorry

Alexander: That’ll teach you not to be rude

Savannah: I think I’ll go see if mama is back

Milton: I am sorry!

...

Cassandra is pumping in the spare room when Savannah finds her.

Savannah: Mama, can I still go to OT now I’m a child

Cassandra: Of course you can honeybee. It might be called something different but any support you need, we’ll find for you

Savannah: Then Uncle Alexander told him off

Mercedes: Nice!

Savannah: So what did the brain doctor say

Mercedes: They want me to do… Papa how did they say it?

Rahul: Your sister is getting referred to another type of doctor to see if she needs extra help at school

Mercedes: Can I not go to school?

Rahul: No! Whatever you need we can sort but you’ll be best having your first day with your sister

Savannah: Yeah. You don’t want to leave me alone do you? We do everything together

Mercedes: Except OT and word class

Cassandra brings Viola to the table and the family begin eating. For some reason everyone is migrating away from Viola?

Mercedes: Mama did your point tent (appointment) go okay

Cassandra: Apparently I have ADHD which I guess is a bit of a surprise but I’ll be fine. Everybody’s brain has to work in its own way

Rahul: Exactly! Now Viola, how about some peanut butter puffs? Nice and yummy

Viola looks at her papa, confused. Why is what he holding bigger than the things on the plate? It can’t just be her eyesight playing up, can it?

Savannah: Mama, can we have a trip to Granite Falls? I’d love to see some more bugs

Cassandra: Actually papa and I have been talking and we’d like you two to join scouts

Mercedes: Scouts? Why

Rahul: Nature is important to us, we want you both to learn to love it

Cassandra: Plus it will leave after school times free for OT and word class

The girls remain skeptical but agree. Meanwhile Viola is unsure about the taste of peanut butter puffs (and their creepy resemblance to banana once she picks them up) but one thing is for sure, they are fun to play with!

Savannah: Do we have to go to bed mama

Cassandra: It’s getting late honeybee, and don’t you want to check out the new bunk beds

Mercedes: I call dibs on the bottom one! That way you can still tuck me in mama

Cassandra: *smiles* alright but we need to clean up dinner first

Savannah: I got the plates

Cassandra: Mercedes could you put the leftovers away before they spoil please

Mercedes: Yes mama

Rahul: How do you two like the bunks

Savannah: It’s great papa. I can be up high just like butterflies are

Rahul: Good night rugrats, I love you two

Twins: Goodnight papa

Savannah climbs up to the top and snuggles in while Cassandra tucks Mercedes in.

Cassandra: Goodnight Mercedes. I love you both, have good dreams

Twins: Love you mama

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[pokemoncaretips]

( @smol-smoliv )

Hi there! I recently took in a Ditto who followed me home (after I gave it some of my sandwich, in true Paldean fashion). They’re a sweetie, and I’m definitely doing my research, but I’ve never worked with any Pokémon quite like this funny little blob. Do you have any advice?

Sorry for the delay, my inbox is getting quite full and we're in full hatching season over here, so I've been busy.

General notes: The ditto is a famous pokemon, not just for its malleable genetic structure but also the vital role it's played in pokemon conservation. Though prone to being exploited by shady breeders, in caring hands it's been the living breathing heart of captive breeding programs around the globe, saving endangered pokemon from extinction.

General care: The ditto is shockingly easy to care for. It's an omnivore, and eats by engulfing its food like an amoeba. It has a broad range to temperatures it can tolerate and spends much of it's time at rest.

Their skin is very slightly tacky, and has a tendency to pick up dust and debris as it wanders about. Wiping it down with a clean damp cloth is sufficient to deal with this.

You'll need a pretty high tolerance for the uncanny valley, as although the genetic code is perfect, there's always something a little...off about a dittos transformation. Pokemon can't seem to spot it, but humans do, and even an experienced and talented ditto can give a human a mild case of the creeps. This is exacerbated if the ditto hasn't encountered any new pokemon recently, as. Well. Ditto aren't the brightest bulb in the box, and quickly start to forget what the form looked like. It is not uncommon to see a ditto wandering the house shifting randomly between forms, a bizarre and uncanny mix of legs and wings and fur and feathers.

There is a good reason dittophobia is the second most common phobia after arachnophobia.

And yet, despite their creepy appearance, the ditto is the definition of "no thoughts, head empty", a friendly blob of shifting goo that, while not the cuddliest, seems to enjoy being around people.

Ditto sleep in the form of a large rock, and have a bad habit of sleeping wherever they feel tired. Like doorways. Watch your feet unless you want to trip over it.

We do need to address the phanphy in the room. Ditto can breed with everything, but that's no less taxing than it would be for any other pokemon. Laying eggs takes energy. If you plan on using ditto for breeding you'll need to take into account extra food, as well as block out chunks of time where they do no breeding at all to rest. They are not egg factories. They may have blank little faces and approximately one brain cell but they are living creatures and feel pain, exhaustion, hunger and discomfort. I wouldn't recommend more than one clutch of eggs per season.

Ditto have no parental instincts, and in the wild would leave their eggs in other pokemons nests for them to raise. Keep a close eye on them and rescue any eggs they lay before they get cold or broken. Care rating: Green

Training: Though they can use their transformations to fight, ditto really aren't made for it, and given that they aren't too bright, can be out maneuvered well enough. They're happy to roll about the house and melt in sunbeams. You can use a ditto to fight, but it can be frustrating. They're better as house pokemon.

As house pets, they do learn commands and rules, but it can take time for them to sink in. Once it does, though, they stick. Which can make adopting a rescue ditto a bit difficult, as it will need to relearn the new households rhythm's. Training rating: Green.

Safety: Though ditto can badly frighten people, there have been zero recorded reports of a ditto causing physical harm besides being a tripping hazard. They have no natural teeth, claws or acid. Many children with dittos will use them like silly putty and rub them on comic strips to transfer the ink. This is harmless for both parties. It's a mellow little guy. Safety rating: Green

Overall ranking. A quiet little pokemon with no threats behind it, though it's best kept by people with a good tolerance for mild body horror.

[trixree]

WIP Wednesday

Things have somewhat eased for me in my personal life as of late, so I'm returning to my WIPs with the high hopes of perhaps finishing some of them. Will be posting snippets on Wednesdays and Sundays to motivate myself! This first snippet comes from an ongoing commission for the very patient, very wonderful @doubledead

PROMPT: Dreamsharing AU, Zoro/Luffy/Sanji

The problem about thinking nothing at all is that Sanji is not good at it. 

He’s so, so painfully bad at it. 

Zeff used to scruff him like a kitten and shake him by his neck in the hopes that all those extra brain cells would rattle loose and give you some peace, kid. He’s never slept well because of his racing thoughts. He’s always been cripplingly anxious. It was much worse during puberty—so much worse. He’d have these screaming night-terrors and wake up the whole restaurant with his shouting. He slept with Zeff until well after the age where any child should have been able to sleep alone. 

Zeff kept a basin of seawater by his bed for dunking him; a much safer alternative to tossing Sanji straight into the ocean and a much cheaper alternative than midnight panic-showers, which go a long way into eating up fresh-water rations. 

Being in the water has always calmed him. (He very quickly matured out of the fantasy of finding a Devil Fruit, no matter the ability. He could never give up his ability to swim, invisibility be damned.) 

It wasn’t always strictly nightmares, either. Sometimes, the Dreams were enough to send him down a spiral. What if I’m not good enough? What if they see I’m a failure? What if I hold them back? What if they hate me? What if—

Tonight, the tried and true method of filling a pail to the brim with ocean water and dunking his face in it repeatedly has failed. It is devastating, seeing as Sanji is going on well over four days with only episodic naps to sustain him. This is about where his natural limit lies, more or less. After the four-day mark without a solid six hours, he starts unraveling like an old sock. 

He stands, dripping and exhausted on the deck, looking out at the dark sea and trying to remember who’s on watch duty tonight and if Usopp will ask him questions he doesn’t want to answer. It’ll be the third night in a row that Sanji has relieved someone from their turn on watch—Nami first, Usopp twice after. 

It just makes sense to take the watch when he’s going to be awake anyways. It beats tossing and turning in the bunkroom all night, worrying with every noise he makes, he’ll wake the others; worrying that if he manages to fall asleep at all, he’ll wake the others with his screaming. 

With an unlit cigarette dangling from his lips, Sanji climbs up into the crows nest and comes face-to-face with a sleepy-looking Luffy wrapped up in a knit blanket like someone’s grandmother. 

“Hey,” Sanji mumbles around his cigarette. 

Luffy smiles at him, beaming like the fucking sun, and reaches out a hand to help him into the nest. Sanji’s too tired not to take it. 

They settle on opposite ends of the little bowl-shaped look out, Sanji’s legs bent and feet flat, Luffy sitting crisscross so that they fit. The lantern flickers warmly between them. 

“I can take watch,” Sanji offers as he lights his cigarette. “I’ll be up anyways.” 

Luffy tilts his head slightly, like an owl. “Why?”

“Can’t sleep.” 

Luffy makes a little sound of understanding. “I’ll keep you company, then,” he announces. “Why’s your hair wet?” 

Sanji shrugs. “Thought the water would help clear my head.” 

“Did it?”

He snorts. “Not really.” Now he’s just briney and cold. 

Luffy makes a racket and a half shuffling around the crows nest until they’re pressed shoulder to shoulder with Luffy’s blanket thrown across both their laps. “What’re you—” Sanji starts to ask when Luffy presses the whole hot line of his body against Sanji’s side. 

“You’re cold, right? This way we’ll both be warm,” Luffy explains like it’s that easy, like Sanji’s being silly for even asking. Everything is so easy with Luffy—so uncomplicated. Nami is gone? They’ll just go get her back. Her hometown held hostage? He’ll just defeat Aarlong, easy-peasy. One Piece? Time to sail to the Grand Line with a crew of five, including oneself. No, it’ll surely be fine. 

“You don’t have to,” Sanji tries. He is exercising every one of his extra brain cells to the point of collapse in attempting to ignore his earlier conversation with Nami. 

She had thought he was crushing on a guy—a guy he hates, nonetheless—and here he is, pressed close to his Captain and sharing a blanket under the night sky. If that’s not crushing territory—well. The frantic galloping of his heart isn’t doing him any fucking favors. 

“I know,” Luffy says, easy. Easy, easy, easy. After a minute more of racing thoughts and puffing at his cigarette, Luffy surprises him by announcing, out of nowhere, “You remind me of my brother.” 

Sanji has no good associations with brothers. The declaration surprises him so much that he inhales wrong and starts coughing up a lung. Luffy smacks him rhythmically on the back until the hacking clears. As soon as it stops, Sanji is taking a truly desperate drag. 

“You have a brother?” He asks once the tobacco has calmed his trainwreck of a brain enough to speak and not blurt out something stupid like were your brothers also abusive pieces of shit that made a competition out of who could leave the biggest bruises on you? or I’m sorry. 

Luffy picks at a loose thread on the blanket. It’s something the both of them have in common—they’re always moving. Luffy is a terrible fidget. Zeff woulda’ bruised Luffy’s knuckles with the kitchen spoon a dozen times over, if Luffy had actually been good for bussing tables. Sanji thinks, deliriously, about Luffy picking up smoking and has to physically shake away the thought. 

Hives. Hives everywhere. Hives on his brain.

“Two,” Luffy tells him, smiling quietly. “One died. You remind me of him.” 

Oh. 

“Shit,” Sanji says. “I’m sorry.” Congratulations don’t seem to be in order when Luffy looks a hundred years older than he actually is. 

Luffy knocks their shoulders together gently. “Nah, don’t be. It’s good, to remember him. He had a hard time sleeping, too. I’d sit up with him like this sometimes, so he didn’t have to be alone.” And then, Luffy looks dead in Sanji’s eyes and says with far more tenderness than Sanji has ever deserved from anyone for any reason, “No one should have to be alone.” 

It is suddenly very difficult to swallow. The hives are in his throat, now. The crew needs a fucking medic. Sanji doesn’t know what to say. 

[goblin-enjoyer]

Trying to get back into the ol pen and paper style of things. So I’m putting the things that constantly infest my brain when I think of necrons and the closest thing I have to a “true oc” enjoy this mess of ink and paper

Here’s a comic about good ol Overlord Obseriak of the Zul'krakar dynasty and his royal warden Zar'ex getting a late night cup of milk. And here’s an extra image for those that somehow enjoyed this mess

IMAGE DESCRIPTIONS:

PANEL 1:Skitarii with nightcap and candle hears a late night noise" A NOISE AT THIS HOUR? BETTER NOT BE A RAT." they says

PANEL 2:it is not a rat! it is overlord Obseriak of the Zul'krakar dynasty. he is holding a cup of milk and an empty gallon of said milk. he is next to a fridge labeled fridge unit 05 it is called this because Obseriak has a tendency to replace and upgrade the local mechanicus fridge. there is a dark window behind him

PANEL 3:the Skitarii is alerted and their hat stands firm and they whip out their plasma gun and says"FOUL XENO HOW DARE YOU…" they then notice

PANEL 4:Zar'ex royal warden of the Zul'krakar dynasty! he is very menacing and is in the window, a bold combination.

PANEL 5(ooooo!):the Skitarii fails their intimidation check and their hat becomes flaccid "AH NEVERMIND [deleting quicksave]" they say as their fate is left up to the reader. my head cannon is that they are probably either dead or unconscious I cannot tell

PANEL 6:panel that says end this means that the comic is over

7TH IMAGE:the full comic that I drew. it is rather messy and small

BONUS IMAGE!!!!!!!!:the two crony bois are walking home. RW"can we please just get a milk fridge at home?" O"Ku'tak says he'll make one when Uintatherium gets livestock" RW"Uintatherium is a destroyer lord sir." O is dumb+silly and is in a comical rivalry between local mechanicus RW is serious and tired and wishes Obseriak would just wipe out the cult on the planet.

(context: Ku'tak is a cryptek. and Uintatherium was once the main farmer of the Zul'krakar dynasty but now is a destroyer lord I have yet to build and also its a type of prehistoric mammal)

[effervescentdragon]

points at a suitcase smaller than mine and says "see this is the size of the suitcase a lady already paid extra"

This argument is absolutely hilarious, I’m so sorry that happened to you & good for you for standing your ground!

But this truly had me giggling, maybe you just like to travel with a big empty suitcase. Maybe you like for your clothes to have some extra space who knows … maybe the lady had bricks in her small little suitcase while you opted for traveling with a pack of feathers 😂

I‘m so sorry for being silly and I hope flixbus actually reacts to your complaints, but my very tired brain thought this was the most hilarious thing ever right now 🤭

anon i am so glad i could make you laugh because yes it absolutely IS ridiculous which is why i think i also said "it is just my winter clothes. you know, big fluffy sweaters?" 😹 i just didnt include it in the story before. im rly glad i made you laugh bcs after i was done with him i had to put on rammstein to calm myself down xD i will ofc overshare on the internet so when/if i get a reply from flixbus i will ofc come here to rant :D i hope you get some rest!! 😘

[poststormjitters]

Consolidated story progress 2022-23

I'm bringing my updates onto one post instead of taking up most of what I have on this blog. Art should be the majority! Not repeated walls of text as I try to track some data. Having it all on one post should also make it easier for my brain to look back at my patterns from *checks notes* nearly two years ago (whoof). I haven't really been writing for myself very much this past year, but I would like to get back to it (and more art) soon. The blogger may be constantly tired, but the blog isn't abandoned!

Thank you to anyone who reads my notes, much appreciated :)

---

Dec 21 2023 (today as of writing): 46334 total. 105 pages.

<2023: no updates b/c very little writing. Did not, in fact, finish this draft and start second draft this year>

Dec 19 2022: +443 words. 44544 total. Notes: It’s been kind of a while since I’ve sat down with intention, though I’ve caught some opportunities for a few sentences here and there. I’m trying a new POV and having some extra free time helps. I am on (I believe) the final third and I have my outline in a good place. Resolutions and wrap-ups, ~50 pages left. All the respect to nanowimo writers. There’s only a few more days left in December, but I hope to finish this draft and start my second draft next year. 

July 18 2022: +5,236 words since last update (plus uncounted planning). 33,565 total (more than 30k, woah!). 75 pages. Notes: Not sure how much I'll sick to it, but I've been thinking the story will be "segmented" into three parts. The first 50 is my setup, the next 50 is the body and building off the set ups, the final 50 will be the climax and payoffs/end. I'm halfway through the second "arc." I recently read that 30k is about a third of a novel, which is validating and puts me right about on track. They're small enough chunks that I can have goals and planning, but they're big enough that I don't feel constrained so I can still stretch and play. I stopped reading to my friend about 50 pages in because we just caught up to where my writing left off, and I do so infrequently enough that it seemed silly to read to them only every couple of nights (and have the pressure to keep up with it like that). We agreed that where we left of was actually a really good place. “Like a season cliffhanger” and thinking about it like that-- three sections with their own arcs set within an overall story--has been super helpful to how I’m choosing to pace. It’s just my first draft, so it only has to exist, but this way of thinking about it is new for me and I like the way it sits in my brain.

June 22 2022: +1,909 words. 28,329 total (almost 30k, wow!). +5 pages. Notes: this is from two days, but they’re getting one update because I forgot. Working title achieved!

June 10 2022: +1204 words +3 pages :)

June 6 2022: +617 words. 52 pages.

May 18 2022: +499 words. 24019 total.

May 9 2022: +1,472 words in planning. Notes: Wanted to put down the progress :) Reading to my friend has caught up with how far I’ve written, and I’ve been a little stuck on what comes next. But I think I have a direction again. It’s still a little rough on what’s directly next, but I’m feeling good for what’s generally after. 

April 25 2022: +608 words. 22,055 total. 51 pages. Notes: I deleted a couple paragraphs. Things are amping *up*! 

April 25 2022: +972 words. 21,331 total. 50 pages. Notes: I just did a crush scene and I feel all blushy, aw

April 18 2022: +3,979 since last update. 20,337 total (20k!). 48 pages. Notes: Plot is coming together. I don't quite know what is coming after this next bit, but it's the first draft and we'll figure it out as we go. It just has to exist. We’re gonna get dramatic slice-of-life-y here soon!  Reading to a friend is definitely helping me be motivated. The internal sense of "needing to write more because we're going to run out of story to read" keeps a deadline feeling going. Plus, though there's a lot that's still up in the air (ha), it’s fun and encouraging to share with someone and re-read things without the time or intention to edit.

March 4 2022: +594 words. 38 pages. 

Feb 21 2022: +459 words. 36 pages.

Feb 5 2022: +958 words. Notes: Also character work/ brainstorming.

Feb 2 2022: +613 words. 33 pages.

Feb 1 2022: +359 words. 13,734 total. 32 pages.

[astaroth1357]

I don’t know if this’ll make the cut, but brothers with an MC wearing their (the brothers) clothes, and I’m talking full ensemble not just a random jacket or accessory (you can delete if you’re not comfortable of course)

So when left with the question of whether this was a full on clothing theft or a cosplay of some kind, I'm going with theft because that's just funnier to me. Just a little MC marching around in Beel's tent of an outfit… Hilarious. 🤭

MC Steals the Brothers’ Outfits

Lucifer 

It started out like any other morning, Lucifer woke up early in bed - as he always does - but when he rolled onto his side to stir the MC, he found their side of the bed empty… 

Normally, he’d have thrown up the alarm in an instant, but his mind was still groggy as he tried to recall what happened the night before… He could have sworn the MC slept over… unless���

MC: “Good morning, love.”

Their voice was enough to get him sitting up again and he uh… well he was not prepared for what he saw. The MC was sitting with their legs crossed at his desk, attempting to imitate his “I’m-in-Complete-Control-Here” energy as much as they possibly could, but with an added detail…

They were wearing his clothes. His favorite suit to be specific which was tailored to his much bigger frame, resulting in a frankly ridiculously ill-fitting look on their smaller human body...

MC: *picks up a poisoned apple off the desk, continuing their very best Lucifer-impression*  “You should get up, love. We have an early meeting today and we can’t keep Lord Diavolo waiting.”

The MC appeared to polish the apple with his sleeve for a moment before taking a bite, looking pleased with themselves before their eyes widened in complete horror. It only took a split second for them to spit the unchewed hunk of apple into a nearby waste basket and toss the apple away in panic.

MC: “Ah FUCK!! I forgot I can’t eat these!!! SHIT!!”

Their panic only grew as Lucifer could no longer hold in his laughter, the booming volume of which is enough to wake up all his brothers throughout the House.

MC: “Lucifer, don’t just sit there laughing!! Bring me some water or something!!! LUCIFER!!!”

Mammon

Look, Mammon always gets up late so not being able to find, like, any of his normal clothes was a serious problem! He’d already dug through half his closest and still couldn’t find anything!!

He had a photoshoot that he had to get to in less than hour and he still needed to take a shower, get dressed, get his stuff together, then bolt halfway across town before-

MC: *literally kicks open his door Kuzco-style* “Yo, yo, yo!! What’s up, Mammon??”

First off, the sudden loud bang of his door hitting the wall nearly scared him out of his skin, but before he could even yell at the MC for their weird entrance his brain had to process what they were wearing….

Good news! He found his missing clothes, the MC had thrown them on while he was sleeping - sunglasses and all - and now stood before him with a toothy grin on their face.

MC: “What's the problem, Mams? Lucifer got your tongu-EEEK!”

Apparently, they weren't expecting Mammon to literally lunge at them and capture them in a tight hug, practically lifting them off their feet with a laugh.

Mammon: “What'cha think your doin', MC?? I'm gonna need those back ya know?”

MC: *laughs loud and bright, throwing their arms around his neck* “I know, I know... But I wanted to surprise you!” *stops laughing suddenly and blinks* “Huh…”

Mammon watched the MC experimentally lift his glasses off their nose then put them back down, repeating the action several times before snickering.

Mammon: *frowns* “What's so funny?”

MC: “Nothing really but… Mammon, do you wear these just to make everything look like gold?”

Mammon actually had to pause before responding, pulling the MC closer with a devilish grin.

Mammon: “Nah… I ‘cause got all the gold I need right here~”

MC: *chuckles and nuzzles his cheek* “Nice save...”

Mammon: *his cheeks flush and he frowns* “I dunno what your talkin’ about... But could ya go put on a t-shirt or somethin’? They’re paying me big for this shoot and I really gotta go!”

Leviathan 

Another convention, another cosplay far too complex to ever hope to peel out of… Though Levi would never regret wearing his five piece Lord of Shadow cosplay, it’s a heavy thing and certainly not something he can change out of in a bathroom stall…

When he finally got back to the House, he wasn’t looking to do anything but drag his tired body back to his room and change into some more manageable clothes… but… well…

When Levi opened his door, he saw the MC sitting alone at his computer desk playing a game by themselves. That was all well and good but… WHY IN DIAVOLO’S BLACK HELL ARE THEY WEARING HIS CLOTHES???

When they heard the door, the MC whipped their head back and they both stared at each other in an awkward silence… His clothes didn’t even fit them right!-or maybe they did?? His mind was panicking because they had the collar of his shirt covering their mouth and it looked so moe it was actually ridiculous!

Levi: ……….

MC: ………….

MC: …. “I can explain.”

Levi: ……. “Y-yea?”

MC: “I was having trouble on this one level and you wouldn’t pick up the phone… so I thought ‘What would Levi do?’... and it escalated…”

Levi: “You think??”

Levi felt like he could die right there, but he wasn’t entirely sure if it was from embarrassment or happiness… On the one hand, the MC was  literally trying to be him in order to get better at video games - which was flatteringly adorable… And on the other, the MC is pretty much cosplaying as him, right in front of him… and looked so damn cute doing it too… 

MC: “Is this weird…? This is weird. I’m sorry, I’ll go change-”

Levi: NO-agh! *he throws a hand over his own mouth, surprised by how loud he just shouted* … “U-uh… no it’s fine…”

MC: “Okay...?”

MC: “But could you put your phone down? I think you’ve been taking pictures for the past two minutes…”

Levi looked down at his hand and sure enough he unconsciously pulled out his phone in camera mode and has been spamming the “Capture” button long enough to have his thumb cramping...

Levi: “Oh.” *stops for a moment, then seems to second guess himself*

Levi: “Uh… just one more?”

Satan

When you share a house with Mammon, you grow accustomed to not being able to find things from time to time, but an entire outfit?? 

When he woke up one morning to find that he couldn't find any of his normal clothes, he blamed Mammon right off the bat… 

I guess in hindsight, what would Mammon want with his jacket? But anger doesn't always jump to the most rational conclusion, you know?

After searching for "long enough," Satan stormed out of his bedroom on a warpath. He didn't stop his march until he was banging on Mammon’s door with a closed fist!

Satan: “Mammon!! What did you do with my clothes you useless, money-grubbing asshole!?”

When he didn’t get a reply, likely because Mammon was hiding in his closet or something, he was about to kick the door in when he felt a tap on his shoulder...

When he turned his head, much to his surprise, he found his missing clothes!... They were on the MC - right down to the single sleeve - and the MC met his eyes with a mischievous grin…

They had a book in their hands he recalled seeing once at the library: "101 Ways to Prank Your Partner," open like they'd been reading down the hallway.

MC: … Page 47.

They winked at him before bolting back down the hallway in a fit of giggles and oooh, it was on now.

Satan spent the morning chasing the MC through the House, both laughing and dashing around in reckless abandon. He really needed his clothes back and he wouldn’t mind an extra hour or two with the MC when he got them… 😏

Asmodeus 

Asmo isn’t exactly a morning person… Though he forces himself awake so he can perform his wake-up routine, by the time he comes to the table it’s a hit-or-miss on how irritable he’s going to be...

Of course, his favorite outfit suddenly disappearing from his massive closet did not help his mood in the slightest!

Who would take his clothes?? Well, that’s not even a question - surely plenty of his devoted, adoring stans would kill to even have his scarf, so maybe the better question was, “How??” Lucifer keeps all the doors and windows magically sealed at night! (He would know, having been locked out on numerous occasions)

Asmo was tearing through his closet, wracking his brain for any place he might have left his beloved outfit, before he heard someone clear their throat by his bedroom door.

What greeted him was a lovely look at the MC wearing the missing clothing in question, even with all the grace and style he would himself!

Asmo: *jaw-drops* “MC???”

MC: *smirks at his delight and winks at him* “Looking for something?”

They strutted into the room with the confidence of a mock fashion model and took a silly vogue pose in front of the closet, barely holding in a fit of laughter from their actions.

MC: “… Or just at me?”

Asmo, of course, snatched them right up in his arms with a delighted squeal.

Asmo: “Oh. My. Diavolo!! MC, you look just gorgeous!!!- Because you look like me, of course.” 🤭

MC: *laughs and cups his cheeks to pull him closer* “Who wouldn't want to be you, Asmo?”

Asmo: “So true… But you’re already perfect, my love~” 😘

And he went on to prove that to them all morning long...

Beelzebub 

Beel didn't even get the chance to notice his clothes were missing. He had a tournament the night before and was sleeping even harder than Belphie that morning...

What woke him up was the smell of food: scrambled shadowhawk eggs, hellboar bacon, pancakes with nightshade syrup…. 

Beel's stomach had him sitting up long before his eyes ever opened, drawn in by his nose alone.

MC: “Beeeeel. Wake up!”

Beel's eyes dragged open at their request and what he found had his mouth watering... The MC had brought him a dining cart with a complete breakfast spread, brimming with portions only Beel could ever finish, but for once he wasn’t looking at the food.

The MC, for whatever reason, had decided to put on his clothes… And keep in mind that Beel's built like an ox compared to almost anybody. They were absolutely swimming under all that fabric (thank the Devil for his suspenders…) 

MC: “Congratulations!!!”

They throw their arms up excitedly, making the unzipped jacket balloon out like a parachute behind them… It's a remarkably cute image.

Beel: *blinks* “Oh.” *he gets a little pink, still very confused* “What did I do exactly…?”

MC: “You won the championship last night, remember? Or did you forget already??”

The MC takes a step to the side and begins pointing at the plates on the cart.

MC: “I thought we'd celebrate with some breakfast! I brought you eggs, bacon, pancakes, toast, cereal-”

As they continued their list, Beel's hand naturally reached out towards the cart eagerly, before something finally clicked in his head. WHY were they wearing his clothes??

Beel: “Wait. MC, why are you wearing-...?”

MC *holds their hand up* “Hold on!”

MC: “-oatmeal, muffins, banana bread, annnd…” *they get onto the bed and plop down onto his lap with a grin*

MC: “Me! Congratulations, Beel!!”

They lean up to peck his cheek while his arms automatically wind around their waist. The combination of their scents already bringing out a different sort of hunger in him…

Let’s say if this is his reward, he'll never lose a game again. 😏

Belphegor 

Belphie was in the middle of his afterschool nap in the library. The day was exhausting, so he didn’t even bother changing uniforms… The couches there were comfortable and the space was quiet, really nothing should have woken him up...

But somehow, for whatever reason, something did. A tug… Something was chasing away his dreams by tugging on the cow pillow in his arms.

MC: “Beeelllppphie….”

The tugging did not cease and he half growled in response, still keeping his eyes firmly closed.

Belphie: “What now...?”

MC: “I need this…” *they tug on the corner of the pillow a little harder* “Can you let go please…?”

What kind of question is that?? No one takes away his favorite pillow!

Belphie: *hugs the pillow tighter* “Go away, I'm trying to nap…”

MC: “Noooo please…! I need it for something right now…!!”

They started really pulling on his pillow now and he only held on tighter in annoyance. Since they wouldn’t leave him alone, he finally opened his eyes.

Belphie: “MC! Why are… you..?”

His voice trailed off as he finally saw the MC standing there in his usual outfit. His cardigan was so long over their arms that they had to grasp his pillow through its sleeves...

While his drowsy mind tried to catch up, the MC snatched the pillow from his grasp with one swift yank.

MC: *grins* “Mine now!”

They turned to bolt out of the library, but Belphie snatched them by the waist and dragged them back to the couch with him.

Belphie: “Fine, but then I get a new pillow.” 😏

The MC yelped as he flopped on top of them, pulling them close like a body pillow and resting his head into the crook of their neck to enjoy the soothing smell of their scent mixed with his.

MC: “W-wait Belphie…!” *tries to wiggle out from under his surprisingly heavy deadweight* “I was just playing around…! Please don't fall asleep on me!!”

Belphie: *yawns and settles in, already drifting off* “Too late… G'night, MC…”

MC: “Belphie!!!” 😫

They could complain all they liked, he wasn’t going to let them go for a few hours. Cute or not, MC, nobody takes his pillow!

[violetlilysunshine]

Serve Yourself - 18+

Husband Harry Holland x Female Wife Reader

Summary: After a long stressful day at work, you’re not going to ask Harry to help you out, but if he volunteers, that’s a different story...

WC: 2,456

Warnings: 18+, pet names [love, bub, baby, darling, bubba], swearing, suggestiveness, slight playful teasing, grinding, unprotected sex [don’t be silly], p in v, marking [hickeys], riding, almost lost orgasm, multiple orgasms [fem], tiniest hair pulling kink, slight cockwarming, aftercare [m receiving] 

A/N: oop I’m very excited for this one :) hope you enjoy!

MASTERLIST - Join my TAGLIST

MINORS DNI

If you are choosing to continue reading below, you are saying that you are 18 years of age or older and therefore are consuming this content at your own risk. Warnings are listed above, so you can consume what you are comfortable with of course. If I find out that you are a minor consuming my 18+ content, you will be blocked and reported.

You’re finally getting ready for bed for the night. Harry’s still in the shower; he had had a long day filming so you expected him to take a while. This is his first studio film he’d be directing; sure he’d done lots of independent projects and assisted a time or two on other films, but he was pouring so much extra work into his first huge project. He wanted to do an extra good job, though you think anything he works on is amazing, but it has been taking its toll on him.

You tossed the decorative pillows off the bed; the two front pillows still said “bride” and “groom” even though you’d married over a year and a half ago. You never bothered to change them because looking at them made you so happy; you loved being his bride and you never ever wanted to give that title up. 

He came in after his shower, plaid pajama bottoms slung low around his waist, dark henley gripping his arms, which had bulked up in the last few months, and water still dripping off his curls. 

He was a sight to see in any state, but tonight even more so. You always loved looking at him, but right now, you were so fucking horny. You knew he’d had a long day and probably wasn’t in the mood, so you didn’t want to ask for anything. You watched as he dropped his clothes from the day into the hamper before he plopped on his side of the bed, right on top of the blankets. He started flipping through his script, rereading what they would be shooting tomorrow. 

You continued to move about the room, fiddling with odd tasks, trying to distract yourself. You took an extra long time putting on your moisturizer, made sure to brush each strand of hair carefully before folding it into a braid to sleep in, laid out your outfit for tomorrow, planning everything down to your underwear. 

The whole time, you were clenching your thighs and letting out little grunts that you weren’t aware of. 

Harry, of course, took notice of your state after hearing your whines. When he saw you walking funny, he assumed you’d hurt yourself, maybe pulled a muscle. His overly tired brain didn’t consider the possibility that it was something different. 

“What is it, love?” he asked gently, looking up from the script he was going over. 

“Nothing, bub, go back to work,” you said softly. Hearing his voice was only making your situation worse, and you were considering ducking into the bathroom to take care of business yourself. 

“No, I’m done,” he answered, groaning a little as he propped himself up against the headboard and set the script on the nightstand, “what’s goin’ on? You can tell me,” he encouraged, “I’m all ears.” 

You considered making a joke about his large ears, one you’ve made many times. Coming from anyone else, it would’ve made him insecure, but with you, it makes him laugh; you’ve made it clear how much you like his ears and he knew you were just playing around. Given your current situation, you opted to refrain.

“Did you hurt yourself?” he asked after you were quiet for a while, too busy thinking about his ears. You could tell by the dark circles under his eyes and the slump in his shoulders that he was completely exhausted. 

“No I didn’t hurt myself,” you laughed, “it’s nothing really, baby,” you whispered, walking to the bed slowly, “let’s just go to bed.” 

“No, what is it if you’re not hurt?” he asked, reaching both arms out to you, “c’mon, got me curious now. Been makin’ all those noises and walkin’ funny.” 

You chuckled at him, letting him take your hips in his hands, pulling you up to the side of the bed. 

“I’m so fucking horny,” you whispered looking down at him.

His mouth dropped into an ‘O,’ not expecting that to come out of your mouth. Honestly, expecting just the opposite - if you weren’t hurt hurt, he’d expected you to be on your period. 

His lips quickly closed into a smirk, his member starting to harden in his pants. He tugged on your hips, coaxing you to straddle him on the bed, “I think I know how to help with that,” he groaned out nice and low as you settled on top of him.

You giggled, “yeah? You sure?” you asked, trying to gauge if he could really handle anything tonight. 

His face still looked exhausted as he put on a dopey smile, “yeah, love.” 

“Gonna help me out?” you asked again, still wanting that extra confirmation. 

“No,” he answered shortly. 

Your face quickly changed, your mood following rapidly. You’d just sat down on top of him and now he was going to take it away. He wasn’t one for teasing, and he knew you hated to get all hot and bothered just to be let down. Your eyebrows furrowed in anger, “what the fuck?” you asked, exasperated.

He chuckled at your quick shift in mood, “I’m not going to help you out. You can serve yourself, darling,” he whispered, straightening himself up to plant a kiss on your lips. 

You giggled against his mouth, your panties still soaking beneath you, as you came back around, your anger melting away. 

He started to slowly run his hands over your body and up your shirt, just like he always does. He always wants to take his time, kiss every piece of your skin. 

Tonight, however, you were in no mood to do any of that. 

You were quick to start grinding down on his lap; you could feel him hardening even more beneath you, his member poking a nice tent in his bottoms quickly. You were quick to stick your tongue in his mouth, ramping up the pace of the evening immediately. 

He moaned in your mouth as you circled your hips on top of his; he pulled back from your lips, his tiredness amping up his arousal. He dropped his head forward to rest on your shoulder. 

As soon as you figured he was hard enough, you were quick to drop a hand in his pants, pulling out his length. He moaned at the contact and you raised up on your knees, slipping your panties to the side and beginning to sink down onto him immediately. 

As soon as his head made contact with your folds, you sighed in relief. You eased yourself down completely, letting him feel every inch of your inner walls. 

You moaned as your hips settled flush against his; you breathed deeply, taking half a second to adjust before circling your hips, rubbing your clit against his skin in the process. 

You started rolling faster, putting more pressure on your clit as you felt a climax beginning to build. You breathed heavily, your peak coming up fast. 

Harry could feel it; your walls tightening around him. He slipped his hands under your shirt, tweaking your nipples between his fingers a few times before settling his hands on your ribs. His fingers pressed into your back and his thumbs held their place just under your breasts, squeezing gently and helping to pull you along.

Your hands took their hold on his shoulders, fingers pressing into his back, thumbs locked next to his collarbone, all leaving small red patches in their wake that would be gone almost immediately after your activities finished. Harry loved when you left an imprint on his skin, whether it would be with your nails, fingertips, mouth, or something else. He loved to see your marks on his skin the next morning, or feel you kiss against them as you relaxed after the two of you finished. No matter how much he wished these marks would last, they’d be gone before he knew it. But they were appreciated nonetheless. 

“You gonna cum already, love?” he asked, his low voice bringing you even closer.

You moaned, tossing your head back as you began to bounce shallowly. You kept your circles going as best you could, but lost a little coordination with your new movement. 

Your clit wasn’t getting the same stimulation anymore, your high starting to slip away. 

Harry felt your walls relax, knowing what was happening immediately, and dropping his hand to your clit.

“Ah, baby, don’t wanna lose it now, do we?” he chuckled, feeling your walls clench around him again as he rubbed you in tight circles. 

You moaned, his hand working wonders on your clit as you started to bounce harder. 

You were right up on your peak, just needing a little more to fall over the edge; Harry of course sensed this, he could always tell exactly what you needed, and he planted his mouth on your neck, his teeth sinking into your flesh gently as he began to mark you. 

You hit your climax, your orgasm washing over you as you tried to keep bouncing as best you could, but your rhythm faltered quickly, causing you to stop. 

“Mmm, that’s it, love… feel better?” he asked as you came down. 

You opened your eyes, finding his immediately. You brought a hand to his cheek, your thumb resting just below his ear and your fingers wrapping around to the back of his head. 

“A little better, could use another though,” you giggled. You tugged on his curls lightly, an action that he always loved. 

His cock twitched inside of you as he chuckled, “mmm don’t do that, love, you know what it does to me.” 

“Maybe I wanna do that to you,” you giggled, swirling your hips suddenly. 

His legs tensed up underneath you, his knees locking and toes curling. 

“Wish you woulda warned me before you did that,” he grunted laughing a little bit as he dropped his hands to your hips, beginning to guide you in circles once again. 

You giggled back, “thought you told me to serve myself?” You were referencing both his comment, and his hands guiding you.

“That I did, darling, that I did,” he whispered, stopping the movements of his hands, “take what you want.”

You took that as an invitation to start bouncing again, this time slipping almost all of him out of you before dropping back down. 

He groaned, his grip tightening on your hips, “yeah, baby just like that… fuck, don’t stop,” he panted, “‘m not gonna last much longer, sorry.”

“I’m not either bubba, don’t worry,” you whispered, dropping your forehead to his. 

He nudged your head to the side, his forehead now resting on your neck. He dropped a few kisses to your collarbone, his eyes squeezing shut tightly. 

You bounced and swirled your hips, your arms wrapping around his shoulders and your nails digging into his skin lightly. You moaned as he hit that special spot deep inside you, one only he could hit just right. He was quick to bring his hand to your clit right after that, knowing it would send you to your peak immediately. 

You almost screamed when his fingers made their contact; your head fell back and your eyes squeezed shut as you continued to bounce on him, his hands guiding you now as you lost your rhythm to your orgasm. 

He came quickly after you, his hands seating you on him fully as he did so. 

He breathed out a long sigh as he relaxed; his hands soothing over the marks he left on your hips and ribs gently. His shoulders fell back against the headboard as his hips sank lower into the mattress. He kept his face buried in your neck, his eyes still closed and lips still pressing to your skin every now and then.

You knew you should get up and pee, but you weren’t ready to hop off him yet. 

“Mm,” you said quietly, your fingers stroking across his scalp and through his hair, gently brushing out his curls, “still with me, bubba?”

He kept his eyes closed as he answered you, “mm yeah, that was nice,” he said low and quiet, his hands wrapping around your back and pulling you in close to him. 

You let out a single breathy chuckle, “you’re gonna sleep good tonight, huh?” 

“Mmm, yeah,” he whispered, his hands sliding down your waist to rest on your thighs as he leaned away from you, resting his head on top of the headboard.

You took a long second to look at him, before you leaned forward and pressed one last kiss to the corner of his mouth and moved off of him.

You slowly pulled up, taking his member out of you as gently as you could, before stepping off of the bed and padding to the bathroom to clean yourself up.

When you came back in the room, he’d slumped over on his side, curled in an “L” shape: his back parallel to the headboard and legs parallel to the side of the bed.

You chuckled to yourself, padding over to the bed and sitting down gently on your side; you couldn’t help yourself running your hands through his hair again, “thank you for indulging me,” you whispered, handing him a glass of water.

He slowly opened his eyes, a goofy grin taking over his face, “anything for you, darling,” he answered, taking the glass from you and sitting up.

“Drink up,” you whispered, running your fingers through his curls still and pecking his temple.

He downed the glass quickly, letting you take it from him when he was done. You put it on the nightstand gently, before coaxing him to crawl under the covers. 

You could still see the exhaustion written on his features, but he also looked a bit more relaxed. The line in his forehead was softer and his shoulders weren’t so stiff anymore. You crawled in next to him, pulling the blankets across you as well.

“You okay?” you asked gently, settling on your side to look at him.

“Mmm, yeah, ‘m okay,” he answered groggily. 

“Need anything?” you whispered, knowing he was falling asleep, and falling asleep fast. 

“Mmm,” he grumbled, “be my big spoon?” he asked gently.

Usually it was the other way around; he liked to wrap himself around you, to protect you, to comfort you, but tonight he was feeling a bit needy.

You were more than happy to fill that request, of course, especially after he’d helped you out just minutes ago, “of course, bubs, roll over,” you whispered.

He flipped onto his other side, and you were quick to shuffle over and wrap yourself around him comfortably. 

“Thank you, love,” he mumbled.

“No, thank you,” you answered, pressing a kiss to the back of his shoulder as he fell asleep.

TAGLIST:  @spider-barnes @hogwartsmarvelmommy @tulipholland @harryhollandsgirlfriend @cupids-crystals @sunwardsss @bvttercupbby @mcushvft @elishi03 @golden-hoax @mistakenpersonn @cedricdiggorysimpp  @multixfandomwriter @peachy-parker  @wildxwidow

[neondiamond]

Monday Snippet 🥅

The amazing @larry-hiatus @larrieblr @alwaysxlarrie and @tommokat have all recently tagged me to share a snippet. Thanks love!s

This is yet another snippet from my hockey AU for the @bhficfest, and it’ll probably be the last one I share because it’s so close to being done and also because I’ve basically shared a quarter of the fic through snippets at this point (no regrets lol). Anyways, here you go :

Sleeping in Louis’ bed means Harry has to wake up extra early the next morning to avoid coming face to face with any of Louis' teammates when he silently escapes to get back to his own room.

It’s worth it though, or so Harry tells himself as he presses one last kiss to Louis’ forehead before he leaves.

His boyfriend is still blissfully asleep, having slept through Harry’s alarm, and Harry is only a little jealous.

He’s almost made it to his own room without interruption when Liam steps out into the hallway. He’s looking very peppy for such an early hour, fully dressed in athletic gear and Harry assumes he's going for a run.

“Harry?” Liam looks at him with a puzzled frown. “What are you doing out here?”

Harry wracks his tired, fuzzy brain for any plausible response. “I was just about to go out for a run!” He says with a little too much enthusiasm in his voice. “Just like you!”

Liam’s frown only deepens. “Dressed like this?” He asks, gesturing to the skinny jeans Harry is still wearing from last night.

Harry looks down at his attire, making a show of face palming himself. “Silly me! I’m still so tired I must have forgotten to put on proper running pants!”

Liam raises an eyebrow at him, but the small smirk that’s pulling at the corners of his mouth indicates Harry may just be able to get away with this.

“You go change then,” he says, pointing to Harry’s room two doors down. “I’ll wait for you, we can run together!”

“Oh you don’t have to do that,” Harry assures him, silently praying Liam will let it go. He was hoping to slip back in bed for a few more hours of kip.

Liam waves him off. “Don’t be silly, it’s no problem! I’ll be right here when you’re ready!”

“Oh okay, then!” He says as he fishes his key card from his back pocket. “Thanks, Liam!”

The groan he lets out as soon as the door shuts behind him is almost inhuman.

Tagging @wabadabadaba @littleroverlouis @pocketsunshineharry @crinkle-eyed-boo @allwaswell16 and whoever else sees this and wants to share!

[wowitsel]

a little bit of me on you

tattoo shop! calum hood x gn! reader

summary: tattoo artist calum hood lets the reader give him a tattoo

word count: 1.3k

Leaning back in your chair, you admired your boyfriend as he sat at his desk sketching a tattoo idea. A late night at the tattoo shop had led you to go hang out with your boyfriend, Calum, at his work. It was often routine for you to hang around the shop while Calum finished up. It gave you time to hang out, even with both of your hectic schedules. It was always nice to hang out there after hours, it was oddly calm.

Sneaking up behind Calum, you got a better look at what he was drawing. Peeking at his work, you enquired, “So… whatcha working on?”

Stopping his sketching to talk to you, he responds, “Ahh just a floral piece for a client. You like it so far?” As he sees you nod, he continues, “You really should let me tattoo you again.”

Calum had given you several tattoos. With the two of you dating, it felt silly for you to get one from anyone else. He always gave you them free of charge (despite the argument from you), and it didn’t hurt that he was an insanely talented tattoo artist.

It was no secret that Calum didn’t contemplate much with his tattoos. With the sheer amount of them, he really couldn’t have. Add in him being a tattoo artist, and you have a man who gets tattoos in a very rash manner.

With this knowledge, staring at the man in front of you, a lightbulb lit up in your brain as you came up with an idea. You walk up behind the man, and hug him from behind, staring up at him. “Hey Cal, I have an idea…” Intrigued, Calum nodded to encourage you to keep speaking, “What if I give you a tattoo… I mean it could just be a small lil thing, and I know I’m not the best artist but I thought it could be fun.”

Calum surprised you, and he promptly responded, “I’m down” with a smile on his face.

“For real?”

“For real.”

Now, smiling like a maniac, you quickly ran your hand through Calum’s hair, while asking him; “So, what do you want for a tattoo? Try and go a little easy on me. You are the professional here.”

Calum sighed dramatically, “Well, you could do a smiley face or a heart, it’s really up to you, I’m down for anything, my love.”

“I have a scary amount of power in my hands don’t you think?”, you said in a disney villain-esque voice.

Calum gives you a look, while teasingly saying, “well, maybe not anything”

“Can’t take it back now, darling” you reply.

You then grabbed his hand to pull him away from his desk; “Now, c’mon let’s go!”

Pulling him toward his tattooing station, and gently shoved him down onto the chair.

“So you’re just gonna free-hand this?” you hear Calum say to you.

“Umm yes?” you answered unsure of how he would respond.

Calum just shrugged it off and nonchalantly replied, “Ok”.

Now, you had watched and received enough tattoos to generally know what you were doing, so you weren’t too nervous. That being said, you were going to be putting something on his body permanently, so it was a bit of a big deal. Walking over to the table with all the equipment, you stood there standing in front of it, just wondering where to even start.

Calum seemed to have read your mind at the moment. Getting up from the chair, and asking you, “You want me to set it all up for you?”

“Yes please,” you said, giving him a small smile and taking his place sitting on the chair.

Fidgeting with the loose thread hanging off the chair, you tell Calum, I think I’m gonna do a smiley face like you said. I don’t really trust myself enough to do much else”

Calum smiled at your little quip at your tattooing skills and replied, “Sounds good baby.”

Finishing up everything he needed to do to set up, Calum brought the tattoo gun, and everything else needed over to you and took a seat again once you stood up.

“So how much will you hate me if I mess up?” you said in a jokingly curious tone.

“You’re not giving me much confidence in your tattoo skills, my love” you hear him say as you situate yourself above his arm where he wanted the tattoo.

“I’m sure it’ll be fine” you sigh as you pat him on the arm. “You ready?”

“As ready as I’ll ever be”

As you press the tattoo gun down onto Calum’s skin, he barely shows any signs of discomfort. “Is this really not hurting? Cause you seem to just be chillaxin’ or something, babe, I don't really get it. Every time I get a tattoo I wince and whine like a little baby. Am I a wimp for pain or something?”

Calum just replies to you by saying, “Baby, I've gotten a lot of tattoos, calm down, and pay more attention to the tattoo, it's gonna be on my body forever!”

You decided to listen to Calum’s advice and focus on the task at hand. Granted, it wasn’t a very big tattoo, so theoretically it shouldn’t have taken long, but you were being extra careful and slow, because of the whole “permanent” thing.

Getting into a grove, there was a nice silence and calm feeling in the air. Getting comfortable in the chair, and used to the feeling of the tattoo, Calum started to half-sing, half-hum some random tune he had thought of.

Smiling, and listening to him, you told him, “You sound good, you should become a singer or something”

“Ha! Imagine that; Calum Hood, rockstar. I could never.” Calum says to you, and you both chuckle at the thought. Calum leans his head over to check on the progress of the tattoo as you finish the last line in his tattoo.

“I’m done!” you say to him with a big smile on your face.

Calum gives you a look of admiration while telling you, “You did amazing, I’m so proud of you baby”

“I’m glad you think so. Now, I’m gonna go get the bandages and all that other shit so it doesn’t get infected or something,” you say getting up.

“Look at you being all professional, huh?” Calum says with a teasing smile.

“Yup!” you start to walk away when you realize that you have no idea where any of that stuff is; “So… ummm, the thing is…”

“You need me to get it for you?” Calum slyly says.

“Yes,” you squeak out meekly.

“I got you, baby,” Calum says while walking toward the supplies drawer.

After making his way back, Calum starts to put on the petroleum jelly on the fresh tattoo, and tries to put the bandage on himself, but struggles because of the position of the tattoo on his arm.

“Here, let me help you,” you said, grabbing the bandage out of his hand.

Wrapping it around his arm, you kiss the fully wrapped tattoo, and then kiss Calum on the lips. “Thank you for letting me do this Cal” you whisper against his lips.

“Thank you for not messing up,” he says, making you laugh.

“Now come on, let’s go cuddle on the couch”

After making your way to the waiting area of the tattoo shop, Calum plops down onto the couch, so he’s laying down on it, and pats the space next to him signaling for you to lay next to him, which you do.

As you lay down on the couch, Calum wraps his arm around you and kisses you on the forehead.

“This was fun,” you whisper to him.

“Yeah, it was.” you hear Calum whisper back as you see him start to yawn.

“You tired baby?” you say as you snuggle into him more.

“Yeah” Calum says weakly as you see him slowly fall asleep.

You smile at him as you begin to fall asleep yourself, so happy.

[that-little-zebunny]

Hi, i love your works! Can i request for a bucky fic? Maybe where he's into y/n but thought y/n is into Sam? Thanks

A Good Plan

Bucky Barnes x Reader

Summary: Well what do we know? Sam got a plan.

Note: Yay! This is my Day 26 entry for @the-ss-horniest-book-club Lucky in Love, prompt is SUCCESS and I kinda thought it'll work well with this nonnie ask xD enjoy 💜

Sebby & His characters taglist: @nano--raptor @marvelgirl7 @godofplumsandthunder @jobean12-blog @hawksmagnolia @jewels2876 @bugsbucky @tyranneosaurus @hailmary-yramliah @buckosawrus @cherryblossomskye @curlyred2020 @sipsteacasually @harrysthiccthighss @lookalivefrosty (taglist open)

Sighing as you tried to make yourself comfortable as you can possibly be while strapped on a seat inside the quinjet stealing quick looks at the quiet and broody man beside you. Not realizing that Sam who's on the other side has been watching the two of you. Getting frustrated on how you two idiots kept on denying each other's feeling.

So he did what he does best. Annoy Barnes. The whole time while in the mission he did his best to be touchy and sweet to you knowing that a certain old man is peeking.

You on the other had was used to Sam being like this. You two are kind of close so it didn't bother you that he's acting silly. But not like this, he is being extra Sam and it bothered you.

"Whats up with you today bird brain?" You asked him. Staring at his annoying silly grinning face.

"I got a plan." He whispered winking at you.

"What plan? We just finished our mission." You said as the two of you started walking back to the waiting aircraft.

"Oh, just trust me. Its a good plan." He said and his arm went around your shoulder to keep you beside him. With an annoyed pout you just let him guide you. Your pout instantly melts when you got near the quinjet and saw bucky staring at the two of you. He got his serious look on his face again that yiu always find very sexy but not at this moment though.

His eyes didn't leave the two of you until you got inside and got strapped in for take off which made you frown. Did Sam do something stupid to him again? You're already used to their banters but somehow today feels different.

Elbowing Sam's side your tried to move your head near him.

"What did you do!?" You asked him but all he did was look at you and grinned.

"I told you, i have a plan." He said and winked.

You ignored Sam's annoying face the whole ride back and tried your best to not peak a Bucky in case he's Still looking. Just the idea that his eyes are on you gave you chills.

You didn't notice that you've landed not until you felt a tap on your shoulder.

"You okay Doll?" Bucky asked. He's standing infront of you trying to get a peak on your face. You nodded whike looking up at him with wide eyes.

"I-I'm good. Just tired I guess." You said, removing the straps off of you but your shaking hands aren't helping at all which made you curse.

Bucky saw your predicament and kneeled down infront of you to help you remove them. But isntead of leaving he stayed there holding the now loosened straps. His metal fingers rubbed the rough texture of it and sighed.

You stayed there in your seat not knowing what to do. Bucky looked bothered and it worries you

Holding his metal hand stopping him from rubbing the stap it was your turn to peak at his face. He's frowning, his eyes are glued on your hand holding his metal one.

"Sam's a great guy..." He said in a whisper that you almost didn't hear it properly.

"What do you mean?" You asked.

"I said he's abgreat guy and I'm happy for the both of you!" He said. His town a little sharp that you flinched a little. Seeing your reaction his face instantly softened and then he looked guilty. "I-I... I'm sorry Y/N. I dont know what gotten into me." He said defeated.He took his arm from your hold and brushed his hair back using it.

Now you can clearly see his flushed cheeks which made you grin wide. Now it's your turn to stare. Your eyes took in his face and how his eyes became unfocused under you gaze. Oh how cute! You thought.

"Are you jealous Sarge?" You asked, smirking at his reaction. His eyes went wide they look like they're about to pop off their socket and his cheeks went a lot redder.

"I-I...w-why would you ask me that." He said standing up fast. "I probably should head in. Steve is waiting for our report." He said and started brisk walking.

You couldn't help your hysterical giggles as you stood up to catch up on him.

"Admit ittt...." You said teasingly. "Jelly belly bucky~!" You said in a singsong tone. But he just continued walking straight. You continued you singing until you end up smacking your face in his muscled back.

Bucky turned around to look at you and your currently scrunched face. God his back is hard! You thought feeling a little sting on your nose.

"What if I am? Are you going to leave Sam and be with me?" He asked in all seriousness that it made you laugh so hard you almost end up on the floor. You and Sam? Oh Bucky... "Nevermind." He said grunting and was about to turn back again when you quickly pulled yourself back up to grab his arm halting his movement.

"There's never a Sam in this Bucky. Just you." you said and tiptoed to kiss his cheeks. Bucky looked down on you, shocked from both the kiss and what you said.

Just him? Him?? He couldn't believe it. His heart started beating so fast. He pulled you to his arms and hugged you tight yiu can hear his heartbeat but surely his super hearing can hear yours too.

"Just me..." He whispered. "Just You and me Doll face." He repeated and you nodded your head a wide smile spreading on your lips. God damn Sam got a good plan indeed. You thought.

[andreafmn]

Running In Circles - Chapter 3

Word Count: 1,854

Characters: Female Reader Rossi Character, Aaron Hotchner, David Rossi, Derek Morgan, Spencer Reid, Jennifer “JJ”Jareau, Emily Prentiss, Penelope Garcia

Story Description: (Y/N) Rossi is following in her father’s footsteps by joining the BAU team as a profiler. The girl genius knew almost everything but she could have never predicted falling for Aaron Hotchner, her boss and her father’s friend. in their world mutual feelings are not enough to push them together. Will all the adversities and obstacles they face pull them together or push them apart forever?

*DISCLAIMER* I do not own in any way Criminal Minds, all credits of the pre-established characters, script, and storyline belong to Jeff Davis and CBS Network. The only thing I own is Arden Rossi, any upcoming characters, and her storyline, as well as her effects in the others’ story line.

Chapter: 3/?

A/N: This is a short one. Just fully domestic fluff and it makes me very happy, but letting ya’ll know this happiness will be kinda short lived. If you enjoy my writing I’ll also be posting them in AO3 and Wattpad along with other stories (I also hope to start taking requests if ya’ll want) Hope you enjoy and all constructive criticism is encouraged.

<- Previous | Next->

Chapter 3

“Okay, buddy, let’s see.” I looked at the instructions in my hands from the fort kit I had purchased. It seemed simple enough and something Jack would enjoy inmmensly. “Let’s do this.”

“Yeah!” Jack exclaimed. Hotch laughed from the kitchen, insisting he had to at least cook some dinner. In the oven were the batch of brownies I had put in 10 minutes ago. It took about 30 minutes to finish the fort and the look on Jack’s face was priceless. Then he spent 10 minutes perusing my movie collection until he finally landed on Toy Story, once again. 

“Well, dinner’s ready,” Hotch announced, bringing a tray with three plates of spaghetti to the fort.

“Daddy, daddy! Look at the fort!” Jack jumped up and down. It was a simple square base, big enough for three people and a triangle top. We covered it with thin sheets and hung wire twinkle lights on the top. Jack had run to my linen closet and gotten a thick comforter to lay on the floor, as well as most of the pillow that laid on my couch. He also arranged a couple of his plush toys in there to keep us company, as he put it. 

“I see it, buddy. It looks great!” Hotch smiled brightly. “Now, what do we say?”

“Thank you, (Y/N)!”

“No problem, little man,” I smiled. “How about you invite your dad inside so we can eat some spaghetti?”

“Yes! Come on, dad!”

Hotch sat down next to me and passed a plate to Jack and me, putting a napkin on his son’s collar. The small kid smiled at his dad and dug into his plate without another thought, the sound of the movie filling in the background. 

“You know,” I mused. “It was pretty bold of you to cook spaghetti for an Italian.”

“Right,” he chuckled. “Well, I hope it’s good.”

I smiled and took a bite of the noodles. Hotch stared expectantly to see if he passed the Italian test. I chewed slowly, dragging the process along, until finally giving him a thumbs up. Hotch sighed and smiled before digging into his own plate.

After finishing the pasta, I took the three plates to the kitchen and served three plates of brownie with ice cream for me and the Hotchner duo. When those plates were empty, Jack laid his head on my lap and his feet on his dad’s and watched the movie. An hour and a half later, the blonde boy was softly snoring and peacefully sleeping.

“Looks like the little man ran out of juice,” I said as I ran my hand through his soft hair. “I think we should take him up to the guest room.”

Hotch softly placed his hand under Jack’s arms and carried him up the stairs to the first door on the right, careful not to wake the tired child. I pulled the sheets away and Hotch laid the kid on the bed. I left the room to let Hotch change Jack into his pajamas and went downstairs to clean up and pack away the fort for Jack to take home.

“Thank you, (Y/N),” I jumped at the sound of Hotch’s voice and he laughed. “Sorry, didn’t mean to startle you.”

“It’s okay, and don’t mention it.” I sat down next to him on the island. “Whatever you need, seriously, I’m here.”

He smiled and engulfed me in a hug; time slowed down. For a moment, just for a moment, it was only us. There was no hurting, no unspoken emotions, nothing. I breathed in his scent and took in the warmth coming from the closeness of his body to mine. He relaxed into me and let himself be human for a change. 

All good things come to an end.

“Well, it’s getting late,” I said breaking the hug and clearing my throat. “Um, there’s towels in the guest bedroom closet and extra blankets just in case it gets too cold during the night.”

“Great, I’ll see you in the morning, then. Good night, (y/n).”

“Good night, Hotch.” I smiled and waited for his figure to disappear in the stairs before opening the doors leading to my backyard. I breathed in deeply and tried to easy my heartbeat.

“What are you doing, (Y/N)?” I whispered to myself.

I spent the night tossing and turning, trying my best to not think that the man I liked was sleeping just a hallway away. Before I knew it, the sun was peeking in through my bedroom window, announcing that I had wasted a whole night of sleep inside my head. 

So, I got up and went downstairs to work on breakfast. Eggs, bacon, pancakes, toast, the works. I put a pot of coffee to brew and took out some toppings for the pancakes. As I was finishing with the bacon, I heard tiny feet running down the staircase.

“Morning, (Y/N)!” Jack exclaimed, hugging my waist since it was as high as he could reach. 

“Hey, little man,” I said ruffling his hair. “Wanna help me set the table?”

He nodded and grabbed the forks I was holding, placing them rapidly next to the three plates that were already on the round table.

“Jack, where’s dad?” I questioned.

“He’s still sleeping.” He shrugged.

“I have an idea, little man. How about we wake him up with some silly string?”

“What’s silly string?” My mouth dropped. I headed to the hallway closet and took out two cans of silly string.

“This, buddy, is silly string,” I presented the can. “You press the button here down and string comes out.”

“Like this?” Jack asked as a string of green plastic was expelled from the can. He shrieked gleefully and his excitement grew as he saw the grin on my face.

“Just like that, bud. Let’s go wake up dad.” 

He nodded excitedly and we walked up the stairs quietly. Once we reached the door, I turned the doorknob slowly and instructed Jack to go jump on the bed to surprise his dad. He smiled at me and when the door was completely open, he ran up to the bed and jumped.

When Hotch’s eyes shot open, Jack and I pressed the cans and shot silly string all over Hotch.

“Good morning, daddy!” Jack screamed as he flung the can around. Definitely a mess I’d have to clean later but very worth it at the moment.

“Morning, Jack!” The older man said as he brought his kid down tickling him slightly. “Is it safe to assume this was your idea, (Y/N)?”

“Yes, sir. It is,” I responded between laughs. “We have a very strict protocol in this household when it comes to wake up calls.” 

“That’s a very effective wake up call.” Hotch smiled.

“Well, now that we’re all up, we can eat some breakfast,” I said. “There’s some chocolate chip pancakes for you, little man.”

“Yes!” He excitedly left the room and ran downstairs.

“And there’s coffee, too.” I smiled and Hotch got up to join us downstairs.

“(Y/N), thank you.” Hotch said as he stood on the doorstep ready to go home. “This is exactly what Jack and I needed, and I have no idea how I’ll ever be able to make it up to you.”

“Hotch, there’s absolutely no need.” I laid a hand on his arm, giving it a squeeze for reassurance. “I meant it when I said I’d always be here for you both. Whatever it is you need.”

Hotch smiled and left with an ‘I’ll see you at work’, and a Jack frantically waving from the backseat.

And that’s how our sleepovers started. Most of the times we had days off Hotch would come over and we’d build a fort with Jack and watch movies or played games. On hot days, we’d play around in the pool. Sometimes with the squad, but more often than not, just the three of us. If ever he needed it, I would take care of Jack so he could have a day to himself. These nights were happening so often, I transformed one of the guest rooms into a room for Jack. Hotch started leaving some of Jack’s clothes and toys. My house started becoming a second home for the Hotchner boys.

Slowly we grew closer and closer as friends, even if I wanted more. His friendship was too important for me to lose what we already had.

Back at work, it was business as usual. The team was none the wiser, but they could see that our relationship had gotten closer. JJ would always give me a smirk when she saw us hugging in his office, Derek would wiggle his eyebrows at me, and Penelope would silently squeal and flail her arms whenever she saw us in proximity.

Today was no different. Reid, Emily, Derek, and I were in the briefing room each stirring their wanted sugars and creams into the coffees I had brought in the morning. Reid quickly examining the box of donuts I had also brought along to pick the best one.

“Come on, baby girl,” Derek chuckled. “What’s going on between you and the boss man?”

“Well, Derek, if you must know,” I played along. The trio closed in as I pretended to look around for any eavesdropping ears. “Absolutely nothing. We’re just friends.”

“Come on, (Y/N),” Emily responded annoyed. “There has to be something. Friends don’t look at each other the way you both do.”

“My dearest Emily, I’m serious. I’ve just tried to be there for him in these very difficult times.” I sipped my coffee. “And I very much enjoy Jack’s company.”

“You know,” Spencer chimed in. “Oxytocin and dopamine, which are often referred to as the love hormones, affect pupil size. The brain gets a surge of these chemicals when you’re sexually or romantically attracted to someone. This boost of hormones causes pupils to dilate. So, really, if we wanted to know if something was happening all we have to do is pay attention to their eyes.”

“Thank you, Spence.” I laughed. “Now I’m gonna have to use sunglasses everywhere.”

“So that means there is something to look out for!” Emily chirped.

“No,” I cleared my throat. “It means that I don’t want to be stared at all the time by profilers, thank you very much.”

“Whatever you say, (Y/N), whatever you say.” Emily laughed.

After that, playful side eyes and nudges were implemented to our daily routine. They’d smirk whenever Hotch praised me and stared whenever he was even remotely close to me. At first it was funny, but it made me extremely nervous to think that Hotch could catch on. Although, it had been a couple of months with this behavior and thankfully, the unit chief had yet to figure it out, as oblivious to our teammates’ behavior as he was to my feelings for him.

Our friendship continued to flourish and strengthen as I pushed my feelings down in an effort to forget about them. It did not do me any good but, if this was the only way to keep him close, I would endure it.

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Tag: @ssamorganhotchner

[skellebonez]

32. Are you aware of how much money you spent? Tang and Pigsy

go wild god of fanfic prompts, go wild

I WOULDN'T GO THAT FAR ANON JDFKLSJFAS But that's very sweet of you to say! And I couldn't pass up a great chance to write these two as the old (but not that old) married couple I know them to be in my heart. I tried something a little experimental, this isn't exactly how I would normally write them but I had a little idea and wanted to see what I could do with it.

Are you aware of how much money you spent? 

Tang loved Pigsy. And he wasn't afraid of who knew that fact.

"You sure you wanna come with me to the market after... you know,” Pigsy said with a shrug as he rubbed his neck awkwardly.

Tang knew. He remembered the events of quite a few months ago very well. Over half a year if he remembered correctly. It was the last time he had gone with the chef to purchase his ingredients at the market, not wanting to go anywhere close to what was likely still far too close to the lair of the Spider Queen.

Especially not after their later encounters on the new year and the following weeks.

“I’m sure.”

It wasn’t as if they didn’t spend pretty much all their time together anyway. Tang had work, of course he did, and he wasn’t always in the shop 24/7. But whenever he could take his work on the go or take a break or just have the day off he would be by the chef’s side. He always had been for as long as he could remember since their first meeting in college.

At first it was simply from a sense of loyalty to an old friend. He’d kept in touch with Pigsy since they had graduated together, went to the restaurant from day one since it opened, and went back almost every day since then.

And then... he’d lost his apartment, an accidental electrical fire no one could have prevented and he had been glad no one was hurt, and Pigsy had just offered him his spare room like it was nothing.

Tang could have possibly stayed in a hotel until he was able to find another apartment, at least for a while. But not forever. Not the way people who knew who he really was thought he could.

Once someone learned you were the descendant of a long distant cousin of the Tang Sanzang they had a tendency to assume and want things from you after all.

He wasn't in any way rich, far from it. But people thought he was the second they learned he was related to Tang Sanzang and he was just well off enough for people to assume they were right. Just enough for people to expect more from him than he could really give. And he gave all the same, scared to disappoint. Scared to be left alone. Scared to be alone.

Not Pigsy, though. He didn't tell the chef for a long while before moving in and not for quite some time after, guilt from not revealing who he was making Tang leave him far more money than would be his reasonable share of the rent despite the fact he didn't really have it to spare, and the charade would only last as long as Pigsy was willing to ignore that.

It took 1 month and 28 bowls of noodles that Tang vastly overpaid for before Pigsy dropped an overstuffed envelope with all the excess money (which was really nearly all the money he could spare) he had given the chef right into his lap while he was attempting to study a book on their now shared couch.

Pigsy barely got out his question of "why?" before Tang buckled under the pressure and revealed everything.

His heritage.

His past with others.

His feelings.

That last one had been an accident. Truly it had. He'd never planned on telling Pigsy that he had developed a crush on him ever since he had asked him to taste test some of the recipes for his shop. That he kept going to the shop not because the food was amazing (even though it absolutely was, the best he'd ever had and he was certain ever would have) but because he just wanted to see Pigsy more. That the day he'd asked Tang to move into his spare room in his own apartment his heart had skipped a beat and he wondered if there was a deity out there both enjoying the idea of giving him everything he wanted on a silver platter while also reveling in the idea of it being snatched away in an instant because he was certain Pigsy had never liked him back.

Well. Was certain.

Until Pigsy stared at him for a few second too long before a lopsided grin spread on his face and he ignored every single other part of his confession to ask "you had a crush on me too?"

It had taken a minute or two for them to realize they were both hopeless idiots who had been mutually pining for each other the entire time.

They felt pretty silly after that, having lived together for a month when they probably could have been doing so long before.

~

"You don't have to keep givin me all this, you know," Pigsy said firmly once everything was out in the open, gesturing to the envelope that Tang now held in his hands.

"I know," Tang admitted, worrying his fingers over the edges. "It's just... everyone else always wanted more from me and... I was scared, I guess..."

"I'm not everyone else." Pigsy gently took hold of Tang's hand, giving it a careful squeeze. "I don't care who your great uncle or cousin or whoever was. I mean, I do, cause they're your family!" The chef corrected himself, flushing a deep crimson in embarrassment. "But you could be related to nobodies or a king and that wouldn't make you less you to me. I like you for you! I... am I makin any sense? I didn't go to college to sound nice, I went for business stuff!"

Laughter bubbled up from somewhere in Tang's chest, making him squeeze the chef's hand back.

"You are," he said, feeling a lightness inside him that he didn't realize he hadn't felt in a long time. "I get it. I like you for you too, Pigsy."

"Good," the chef said, a chuckle of his own resounding in unison. "Good..."

The two sat for a moment longer, staring at each other before Tang started to lean forward. Pigsy followed, just as he had with the laughter.

It didn't take long for noses to bump each other awkwardly and for the two of them to burst into cackles as they realized they would need to remember to turn their heads before they kissed.

And then they shared their first.

~

They'd been together for years after that. Scholar and chef, old college buddies now roommates turned boyfriends and then later husbands. Most people didn't even know they were married at all, "if they couldn't see it when it was right in front of their faces why explain it" was Tang and Pigsy's mutual reasoning. And for those that did know, some people didn't really understand their relationship. Not with how they carried on with the whole "freeloader" thing.

But that was because of one of Pigsy's only requests when they started dating.

"Don't feel like you gotta pay me for anything, ok? I don't know what other people have said to you, but you don't gotta do that with me."

Tang liked to take that a little far, admittedly, for the fun of it with the noodle orders at the shop. He couldn't help it, he loved everything about Pigsy! His smile, how much he cared behind his gruff exterior, his cooking (obviously), and how cute he was when he would let out that exasperated sigh at the end of the month and just look at Tang's tab as he took out whatever was extra in his half of the month's rent to pay for all but a few yuan of it and just change into that soft smile all over again.

The tab was real, but Tang always paid it at the end of the month. Even if Pigsy always insisted behind the scenes that he didn't have to. He could just stop giving Pigsy the extra cash and they'd wash their hands of the tab and the freeloading completely if he wanted to.

But Tang liked teasing his husband too much and Pigsy was happy as long as Tang was alright with that.

Something in the back of Tang's mind wondered if he was still just scared though, despite everything. As if the ideas of his youth were too deep seated to really go away, intrusive thoughts needling into his brain in a way that would need something even more life altering than he already gone through to get them to leave, and he kept the tab and the teasing around just for some extra security so he would know he'd get to see Pigsy's exasperated smile and hear him say he could stop again. He was certain he was just overthinking things, something he did more often than he would like to admit.

Of course... that was until Spider Queen.

It hadn't been a good morning already, the selection at the market had been poor and Tang was tired from a long work week. Pigsy had been determined to find the right ingredients for... something that, frankly, Tang couldn't remember after all these months. What he did remember was the way the Spider Queen drew Pigsy in, despite his sniping at him while they were tied up he knew that the chef really was only after actual vegetable, and being in that lair.

It was awful.

They hadn't been down there long, but it was long enough for Tang to suggest Pigsy stay away from the market entirely and order his food via online delivery. Pigsy thought he'd been jealous at first, until he realized that Tang was just... scared. Scared of Pigsy getting hurt, scared of losing him. Just scared.

Until MK had shown up there really was no telling if they would have made it out. And that scared Tang. A lot.

Pigsy didn't stop going to the market entirely, but for Tang's peace of mind he bought most of his food via delivery like he suggested and took MK with him every time instead. Tang refused to go back, not when he knew how close that stand was.

And then the Lunar New Year happened and Tang no longer really felt safe anywhere.

Oh he acted like everything was fine alright, but he knew Pigsy could tell how defeated he was in knowing that Spider Queen and her crew could just show up anywhere at any time now. It left him tired, having trouble sleeping, and just emotionally exhausted.

Until this morning. When he woke up before Pigsy and got dressed and ready to go and suggested they go to the market together.

He was tired. Too tired.

Tired of letting himself be afraid. Of Spider Queen. Of the market. Of his old intrusive thoughts.

After all he had used a giant gun sword on that one spider guy with the pony tail who insisted on teasing Pigsy for some reason. And went through whatever happened with that weird shadow puppet guy. Why be afraid anymore after all that weirdness?

So at the market they were, looking over the selection of ingredients together for the first time in months almost as if nothing had happened. No one would have been able to tell except for the way Pigsy kept looking over at Tang to make sure he was alright.

Tang loved that about Pigsy too.

“Tang you don’t have t-”

“I want to,” the scholar said firmly, handing his card to the merchant they had stopped at over Pigsy’s head before the other even had a chance to argue further.

“Tang!” Pigsy yelped as his card was handed back, gesturing to the bag of food he was being handed shortly after. “Are you aware of how much money you spent? That stuff’s expensive!”

“I know,” Tang said nonchalantly, smiling softly as he turned to head to the next stall. “I told you, I wanted to buy them.”

“But why?” Pigsy insisted, looking a bit lost at having to be the one to follow someone else through the market for once. “You know I’d never make you pay for anything... well, heh, except your tab that you insist on keeping open.”

“About that" Tang said, smiling softly as he turned back to the man he loved for so long. "I don't think we need to keep that open anymore."

Pigsy froze, staring at Tang in confusion for a moment before his eyes widened as he realized what he'd just said. He blinked, looking at the bag of ingredients, thinking about the amount of yuan Tang had spent before he finally caught on to what the scholar had so sneakily done.

The exact amount down to the last little bit.

Paid in full.

"You're serious," The chef said as he took in Tang's expression carefully, reaching out to grab his free hand softly and squeeze. "What brought this on?"

"Just thought it was time to let go of old fears," Tang answered with a shrug, and he barely had time to react before Pigsy tugged him forward with a tilt of his head and pressed their lips together.

Tang didn't keep count of how many times they kissed over the years, who would after so long, but he was sure he'd remember this one as vividly as the first.

"Let's get back," Pigsy said after he pulled back, smiling warm and bright and just looking the way being home felt. "MK's probably waiting to get that out of the city training started and we don't wanna keep them all waiting."

He loved Pigsy.

And the one thing he was never ever afraid of was who knew that.