#I’m uploading because I’m sad (unrelated)

[diegopenate]

Some recent additions to the shop

Shot of Fujifilm XT4

[shotorozu]

pretend boyfriend

(i use guardian because idk there was this one time i used “mom” in a though unrelated n old draft and i showed it to someone and they replied with “i don’t have a mom” 😧)

note(s): also this totally wasn’t inspired by something that happened to me some time ago 😭 and this upload is late so IGNORE that it’s no longer february (actually, for 10 days now) and focus on how i’m early for white day— basically a day in japan in which guys give chocolate to their crush or partner instead of girls giving chocolates to guys (which happens on valentines day) white day is on march 14 btw

»»————-　♡　————-««

you realize your sad plan for your single, partner-less white day— an extension of valentines day, backfired on you when your guardian asks you about a boyfriend upon your usual visit from school.

“what?” you question, sounding unbelieving of the question, like it was a collection of meaningless words. “i don’t have a boyfriend—”

“the chocolates say otherwise,” they point out, interested in the heart shaped box of sweets. “can i see a picture? i need to know if they’re good for you!”

what an… interesting way to determine who’s good for you. “there’s no boy— no one, trust me.” you insist, sounding a little more panicked than you would’ve liked— and this only fueled her suspicion.

“there has to be someone, you’re beautiful!” they insist. you would’ve felt complimented if it weren’t for the context of it all, and also the fact that they’re just talking about physicality “really, who gave it to you?”

you’re hesitant to say that you actually bought them yourself, not just to replicate the experience of having a significant other, (now that you’ve realized how hard you’ve been pining over someone incredibly unattainable)

but also because you couldn’t resist the contents of the box.

sure, you were given other pieces of chocolate and sweets from your classmates even some of the girls! (which wasn’t common to see on white day of all days) and a suspiciously expensive looking cupcake box landed on your table too.

(you didn’t eat it, you just couldn’t accept the fact that it wasn’t actually decor, until you went to eat lunch and smelled the thing.)

but those chocolates were obviously obligatory, considering the context of white day. besides, the box you bought was different— it had all your favorite flavors and it was from your favorite sweets brand. you just couldn’t help but tear a small portion of your allowance out of your wallet for this treat alone.

you don’t know what your guardian would say— they’d either insist that you’re lying, or they’d make fun of you, and none of these options sound appealing.

you deflate, not having a good defense. “… a friend.”

they don’t seem convinced. nobody used a friend to refer to their actual friend. you mentally beat yourself over this simple mistake.

this only proves their point, “hmm, okay..”

there’s a beat of silence.

“i’m still expecting a picture.”

your heart rate picks up, and you can feel your veins be filled with anxiety.

and now you’re returning to the dorms, absolutely mortified— and it clearly shows on your face based on how your best friend, todoroki shouto, approaches you at the front door with a concerned look.

“you look.. distressed.” he notes out loud, as he opens the door.

shouto’s quick to help you get your shoes off, letting you lean on him as you undo your shoelaces. he pulls off each shoe afterwards— the action so casual.

“it’s because i am, shouto!” you exclaimed, following him in. “i did something stupid and now i’m paying the consequences of my actions!”

shouto’s two toned brows furrow, there’s a deep look settled on his pretty face— and he draws all his focus on you. “whatever it is, we can fix it.”

“i’m sure but, my ego! my dignity!” you groan, and your hands cover your face as if it’ll burrow you away from the embarrassment and transport you to a place of peace.

“i won’t laugh,” he says, an indirect way of saying that he won’t absolutely clown you for any of your decision making skills.

shouto then holds his pinkie up, waiting for you to take it. it’s a clear show that he’s intent. “promise.”

“sure,” you say as you link pinkies, the warmth of his pinkie making embarrassment creep up your neck instantly. “i trust you.”

you breathe in as preparation. “i bought chocolates for myself and my guardian thinks i have a boyfriend and is asking for a picture, so now i’m screwed because i don’t have a boyfriend in the first place, and i’ve told them that i don’t but they just don’t believe me, so i might have to get a fake boyfriend for a picture!”

all of it just spilled out at once. you aren’t even sure if shouto understood, let alone was able to comprehend all of it due to the lack of reaction.

but when you carefully examine— you realize that a reaction slowly shows on his face, like it just dawned on him the information you’ve dumped.

“fake boyfriend.” he echoes, “for a picture.”

“yes!” you groan, mortified of the other possible solution of the matter being slapped in your face again, “and they need to be tall, handsome, and apparently someone that looks rich— don’t know how a picture can prove that, we don’t even have jobs.”

“anyway, they’ll just criticize me for my choice in people.” you sigh, “i’m lost.”

he folds his arms together, and he unintentionally flexes. your eyes follow the movement for a short second before you realize that you cannot be caught gawking at someone you’ve met when you were both five. “it appears you are quite in a situation.”

“yeah..”

“if only there was someone available to help.”

“yeah—”

“someone close to you.”

“i figured— it’d be awkward to ask someone who i’m not really close with to be my fake…” you trail off, brows furrowing when you realize there might be some insinuation in his words. you can’t tell what he is necessarily eluding to— but,

you take a good look at shouto— an very good look. you size him up, and he allows this as he is basically standing politely. there’s a fixed look of stillness in every aspect of his expression, and he’s calm when he speaks,

“i could play the role.” he suggests like he doesn’t understand the weight of his words, or he doesn’t care that much about it.

you can feel your heart in your throat all of a sudden, and the beat of it is becoming painfully loud.

“shouto,” you somehow manage to get out, “they know who you are.”

your deep rooted history together as close friends would be seen as a plus point, if it weren’t for the fact that you’ve refrained from showing (let alone hinting) any sign of your feelings for him. shouto did the same, except you are absolutely sure he doesn’t want anything more than platonic with you— as he has displayed no such signs.

the sudden shift of events would raise more questions instead of just solving one.

besides, who doesn’t know him nowadays? he’s tall, good looking, strapped with money and a multipurpose and hella useful quirk. heck— his appearance during the sports festival was a huge thing and has definitely made a positive mark on his reputation.

additionally, it was hard for your guardian to miss someone with an alluring presence like shouto’s, and a head full of naturally snow-like, and flaming red hair.

you think carefully before coming up with something easy. “what if i just asked one of the girls to wear an oversized hoodie; and stand on a stool? i’d crop out their face, of course. kyouka or yaomomo could—”

before you were allowed to finish your thought, shouto continued to press on his idea. “i’d be the most preferable, since the backstory makes the most sense.”

you pause. you’ve never thought of an actual backstory for you too, and you couldn’t quite indulge in the self blame— you didn’t think he’d agree at all.

“childhood friends turned best friends, and with a bond that drew us together.” his gaze fleets somewhere below your eyes, and then he draws them back up— a small boyish grin now blessing his face. “besides, you’d be in quite some trouble if they asked for a picture of their face.”

oh, that description sounded way too close to home, so much that you forgot. now that shouto mentioned one, that solution does seem to have its loop holes.

“touché.” the lengths he’d do for you is admirable, and your heart would’ve stuttered if it weren’t for the dull reminder from the back of your mind, of what it’s really like between the two of you.

“so uhm, what now? do you want to take the picture right later or—”

“now would be good.”

“oh uh, okay then…” shouto never wastes time, even when it came to unimportant stuff it seems, and he watches as you shift around to find your phone.

getting your phone is something that never takes any time, but with everything being taken account for, your hands are starting to feel like jelly.

after opening your camera app and switching to selfie mode, you position your phone carefully. not just like a photographer that was about to capture a rare wild animal laying still, but also similarly to how people take pictures with celebrities.

you are cautious of the angle. although you’ve almost seen every single expression that he could make— you’re worried how you could make everything look good, make him look phenomenal. (although it seems impossible to make him look anything but)

you end up snapping a photo that’s majorly of him, and the only show of you being in the same frame was the very top of your head shoved to the corner of the screen.

the two of you stare at the photo, exchanging glances. you might think that this is enough, considering that this photo of shouto is nowhere on the internet. so— plus one for authenticity, sorta.

he’s not your real boyfriend, but your guardian won’t know that from looking at the picture.

“let’s do a retake.”

you nearly stumble, like his words were a gust of strong wind. “huh?”

“this photo.. doesn’t seem authentic. i wouldn’t know what it’d be like to be in a relationship but the couples on television look— different. don’t you think?”

you take another look at the photo. although the couples shouto is referring to are actresses and actors playing roles— he’s right for the most part. the distance between the two of you is hard to miss, nobody would be able to guess that you two were together.

not to mention, it’s more of a picture of him instead of the both of you.

“alright then,” you say in agreement. “any suggestions?”

“if i may.”

“of course you may,” you encourage.

“then…” he shifts, feet moving closer to you. “if you’ll allow me.”

shouto’s hands reach out, and you’re immediately drawn to them. although unsure about his next course of action, you don’t stop him as he pulls you close— hands with contrasting temperatures maneuvering the positions to his liking.

eventually, the two of you were positioned in a way that made you encase shouto in your arms and have you turnt slightly towards the camera.

the side of your faces are pressed against each other’s, and despite trying your best to stop it, the proximity had your heart thumping against your ribcage once again.

making sure you don’t prolong the ordeal more than you need to— you snap the picture and attempt to pick yourself up afterwards.

but shouto makes no effort in detaching himself from you, relaxing in your arms as he leans against you to view the picture. you feel yourself flustering again, and you just know that he could end you one day and be blissfully unaware of how and why.

although you just took a big risk that could possibly have your feelings found out— you were just as curious as he was to see the outcome.

and you two seemed like a couple indeed.

“thoughts?” you ask in place of allowing yourself to slowly pass away on the inside. your skin feeling increasingly hot all of a sudden, and you’re confident the boy beside you has nothing to do with it this time.

“just as i suspected.” a small smile pulls at his lips, “we look good together.”

your brain buffers, “huh?—”

and then, he’s pressing his soft lips onto your cheek— pulling back as quickly as he pressed his lips onto you.

you choke on practically nothing, and you stare at him with eyes so wide they rival saucers.

and then it started to make sense, “what— are you playing me?— you’re doing all of this for a picture i didn’t even take!”

he tilts his head, confused for a moment before letting out a disapproving noise. “i… was teasing at some point, but i would never play you. i even pinkie swore.” he said, holding the same pinkie he linked with yours earlier to prove his memory.

“so why… after all this time?”

his gaze sharpens, “why not?” he states simply, “i figured just recently that.. the feelings are mutual, and that you’re interested in the way i’m interested in you.”

he clutches you, shoving himself deeper in your embrace, “besides, there was no way i’d let you ask anyone else to be your pretend boyfriend when i’m right here.”

“it would be just for a picture though.” you note, slightly amused that todoroki shouto was jealous at the idea of having a pretend boyfriend for a picture— even if said pretend boyfriend were to be one of the girls from your class.

a specific blank expression is pinned onto his face. “still.” he replies, quite dryly.

though the expression immediately melts away as he says these next words, “now then,” gorgeous, gorgeous heterochromatic eyes meeting yours in a gaze. shouto holds it, and it seems that he’s taking advantage of his effect on you. he’s quick, not to mention— observant too.

“we should take another picture, one that’s much real.”

[archiveikemen]

Liam Evans Main Story: Chapter 24 (Blind Love)

I do not own any of the Ikemen Series content being uploaded on this blog, everything belongs to CYBIRD. Please support them by playing their games and buying stories. Not 100% accurate, expect mistakes.

read this before interacting with my posts

Liam caught the arm that was slowly losing the strength to raise his fist.

Liam: … There’s a secret I’ve been keeping from you for a very long time.

As they faced each other, Liam’s eyes that had never once shaken, trembled and he looked lost.

It was like he was trying to open a pandora’s box that had been sealed for a long time.

(... Liam?)

Liam: I…

Liam: I’m not your biological son.

(...!)

Max: W-What nonsense. There is no way—!

Liam: Mother was pregnant with me before she married you. My face looks exactly like my biological father’s.

Liam told the story of his birth.

His mother, Karen, was once deeply in love with a man.

However, he left her without as much as a second thought.

— It was only after she had been abandoned, she found out that she was pregnant with his child.

She then married Max while keeping her pregnancy a secret, and gave birth to Liam as his son.

Max: … Then why did Karen treat you as if you were non-existent?

Liam: Because my face reminded her of the man she once loved.

(So that means Liam and Max are unrelated?)

Removing the part about them being “blood related”, what was left was only their tragic past.

(In that case…)

Max: Then why did you willingly accept the abuse from someone unrelated to you by blood…!

(Abuse…)

A parent that had been disguising his deeds as “education” was so furious that he admitted that he was abusive.

Seeing his weak and selfish behaviour caused a dark feeling of rage to build up inside me at the pit of my stomach.

And yet, it was not my place to yell at or hit him.

(Because Liam isn’t angry at him.)

Liam was neither angry nor sad — he let out a laugh.

Liam: It was because… as a child, I loved you.

Liam: And I wanted someone… no, I wanted you to love me.

Liam allowed himself to be abused, simply because he wanted Max to love him. He smiled.

Hidden behind that smile was a painful past that could never be erased.

Max: I…

Max: Where… where on earth did I go wrong…?

Max: What mistakes did I make… what did I lack? What, what…?!

Max approached Liam in a state of panic, resembling a child throwing a tantrum.

And as if something snapped in him, he suddenly fell silent.

(...?)

His face was completely void of any emotions, willpower, and humanity.

Max: … Kill me.

Max: … I want you to kill me.

(... What?)

(...)

(What did he just say?)

Max: … I… I no longer have any reason to resent you. I no longer have a reason to stay alive.

I couldn't believe what I had heard.

(Is he asking Liam to kill him?)

(After all the pain and suffering he has caused him, now…)

My anger grew unbearable, my body was trembling with rage.

Kate: … You… are you trying to add on to Liam’s burdens…?

Liam: … Kate.

Kate: It’s true that Liam broke the form of your family. It’s also true that he killed people.

Kate: But what sins did Liam, as a newborn child, commit…?

(You’re not the only one.)

– Flashback Start –

Marie: … Why did he have to die and you’re still alive?

Marie: If it wasn’t for you back then, everything… everything would’ve been…!

…

(That person too.)

Liam: … That means, it’s my fault this happened to Kate?

Young Man with Piercings: Yes, that’s right. All of this, everything, is your fault. If it weren't for you…!

…

(Many, many, many other people too.)

— You are a sinner. Admit to your sins and wish for your own demise.

– Flashback End –

Liam: … Thank you for getting upset on my behalf, Kate. But it’s fine.

Kate: No, it’s not! I don’t want the guilt and burden you're carrying to get any bigger.

My eyes met with his rose coloured eyes.

The moment our eyes met, that was when it hit me.

(... Oh, I see it now.)

(Liam knew from the very beginning that something like this would happen.)

Max being deceived by a ruffian, his non-biological son telling him the truth, and choosing death in the end.

And the one to punish him for his sins was — himself.

Liam: But still, someone has to do this. That someone will be me.

— I wanted to stop Liam from killing his family member.

My heart was screaming at me to go stop him, but I knew that I didn't have the right to.

(This is a decision Liam made for himself.)

Liam took one of the daggers hanging from his belt and unsheathed it.

Even with the dagger pointing at his chest, Max didn’t flinch. He merely kept on starting emotionlessly at Liam.

(I can’t bring myself to watch. But…)

(I can’t look away.)

Liam: Father.

Max: …

Liam called out to him affectionately, like they had returned to their past.

Liam: Although we’re not biologically father and son, we’re still very alike.

Liam: We both chased after love that we never obtained…

Liam: It’s truly… miserable, stupid, and pitiful, don't you think?

Max: …

Liam forced a smile and took a deep breath.

Liam: — Goodbye, Father. Rest in peace.

He thrust the dagger right into Max’s heart.

Max instantly stopped breathing.

Liam was soaked by the dark red blood gushing out of the stab wound.

(...)

(Why?)

(Why is this world so cruel to Liam?)

For the rest of his life, he would be haunted by the painful memories of his past and this very moment.

(... There’s nothing I can do for him.)

There was no way I could get rid of his sorrows once and for all.

I couldn't erase his past that made him wish he were dead.

(But still…)

— I wanted to share his pain.

— I wanted to share the burden of his sins.

As I was on the verge of tears, a pitch darkness rose inside of me from my feet up.

That darkness spoke to me.

— You still have the chance to return to your original life, it’d be as if none of this ever happened.

— If you stay by this man’s side any longer, your hands will be stained as well.

(Stain my hands…?)

Liam sat on the floor in silence, stunned by the sight of his bloodied hands.

He was hurting alone, bearing the weight of his sin.

(... I know now. I know what I can do for him.)

My legs trembled as I walked towards Liam.

The darkness fully consumed me.

(I’m scared. I feel as if I’m losing myself.)

(But I can’t leave him alone.)

I approached Max, who laid bleeding out on the floor. I wrapped my hands around the dagger in his chest.

(...)

With trembling hands, I thrust the dagger deeper into his heart.

Liam: … Kate…?

Liam: … What are you doing?!

Ignoring his attempts to stop me, I thrust the dagger even deeper.

My hands were dyed the same colour as Liam’s.

Liam: Ah… ah…

Liam kept wiping my hands with his shirt, trying to clean the blood off them.

Liam: Kate… you did nothing wrong. I’m the evil one. I’m the one who did something wrong.

Liam: … You're not evil.

Liam: I don’t want you to dirty your hands. Therefore, therefore…

I wrapped my bloodied hands around his.

Liam: … Kate?

Kate: I have a part to play in this. Please allow me to share the burden of this sin.

Liam: … Wh… why?

Liam: Why?!

Kate: Because I don’t want to leave you alone. Can you forgive me for being selfish?

Liam: …

Liam: — Just how far are you willing to go for me?

We stayed still, holding each other's bloodied hands.

Silence, like a calm sea, hung between us.

Liam sighed, as if he had accepted my actions.

Liam: … Listen.

Liam: When I hurt others and myself, it’s because we’re human.

Liam: People fail, hurt others, get hurt, and then the cycle repeats. And yet, they still foolishly cling onto those who've caused them sufferings.

Liam: I wanted to die, but not alone. I wanted to be with someone, anyone… I wanted to be loved, even just a little.

Liam: But I eventually grew sick and tired of that way of life. It felt as if my life was slowly draining away.

Liam: Therefore, on the night I wanted to jump to my death, I thought to myself…

Liam: “Ahh, I can finally put an end to this”.

Liam: No more drowning in despair, no more begging to be loved. Everything, everything would end right there.

Liam: So I closed my eyes and spread my arms wide open, letting myself fall into the darkness of the night.

Liam blinked, and a single teardrop rolled down his cheek like the first snow on a silent night.

Liam: And the next moment, when I opened my eyes— there you were.

Kate: …

Liam: Why… why were you still right there before my eyes?

Liam: Why…

Liam: Why did you… save me…?

His crystal clear tears fell into the blood of bright red blood.

Instead of drying his tears, I pulled him into a tight embrace.

Liam: …— rry… — orry.

Liam: I-I’m sorry, I’m sorry. I'm sorry for being a failure, I’m sorry for not dying…

Liam: I… I want to live…

Liam: I’m sorry… for wanting to live in the end… I’m sorry…

Liam: Ue… ue… uwaaaaahhhh!

Liam continued sobbing uncontrollably, like those were the tears he had been holding in his whole life.

And so I held him tight, never letting go.

As if I were holding in my arms a star that was about to fade away.

As if I were anchoring this kind person to this cruel world.

…

The next day, “The Hunchback of Notre Dame” took England by storm.

Word was getting around about how magnificent the play was, Liam’s outstanding performance, and the existence of “Golden Butterfly”.

William smiled as he looked at the newspaper and magazine articles.

The world will never be free from evil. That’s why Crown exists.

And on the day after “The Hunchback of Notre Dame” had it’s successful show, it had been exactly one month after I promised to be a fairytale writer.

…

The keys on the typewriter clicked and clacked with every movement of my fingers.

I wrote about all the memories I had made in the past month.

Those memories began from the day he first gave me a bouquet of modern roses.

– Flashback Start –

Liam: What do you think about observing only me for the next one month and writing about me in your report?

Kate: Write about you…?

Liam: That’s right. Not about Crown, but about me as a person. It’s because the finest stories are the ones with the best main character.

Liam: I’m confident that I can satisfy and charm you. I’ll shine even brighter just for you.

– Flashback End –

We had so many fun times together that were filled with joy — but the story didn't end there.

The person in front of me was charming, yet somewhat melancholic.

Right when I was about to type the final period, my hands stopped.

(I’ve always wanted my story to help others feel less afraid of what tomorrow would bring them.)

That sentiment grew stronger after meeting Liam, it never changed.

But before I could protect “anyone's” tomorrow, I failed to protect the tomorrow of the one person who was dearest to me.

(Therefore, I—)

Holding the incomplete report in my hand, I stood up from my desk and headed for Victor’s office where I could find what completed it.

…

Kate: — Well then, if you'll excuse me.

I closed the door behind me and stretched my arms, my shoulder joints making a popping noise.

(My shoulders are so tense. Perhaps I’m nervous, because that’s always the case whenever I have to make a decision…)

(I should go see Liam and talk to him about what he wants to do after this, and—)

Liam: Kate…!

Kate: Liam?

I couldn't hold in my laughter when I saw the very person I was thinking about.

Kate: Fufu, you surprised me there. I was just thinking about you—

Liam: *pant*, *pant*...

I was about to talk to him more, but I noticed something was unusual about him.

(This is the first time I’m seeing Liam this anxious. Did something happen…?)

Kate: W-What’s the matter? Is someone hurt? Or…

Liam: Kate… I don't… I don’t like…

(Huh—?)

[thebroccolination]

I finally finished episode one of my WinTeam Supercut!

I’ll repeat all this later when I make the official post, but I’m planning to cut ManaowPruk and BeePrince because neither storyline really has anything to do with WinTeam, whereas the DeanPharm and WanTul storylines both intersect at some points. I’m also going to cut or substitute some flashbacks because I think the original series had too many that went on for a little too long. I cut some background music where it felt unnecessary (using a nifty AI program that separated the vocals from the music), leaving only the dialogue. In two scenes (Trio eating and Pharm’s breakdown) I cut the BU music and replaced it with tracks from UWMA to make more of a cohesive connection and bridge between the two series. But the biggest change is probably the spicy scene at the end: instead of the sad/ominous InKorn music, I found an entirely unrelated track that I thought fit the scene better. One of the most distracting things about BU for me was the number of scenes with multiple music cues that kept dragging me out of the story by my hair. (There’s one scene in particular I’m looking forward to editing.) I also edited the subtitles to the best of my ability, considering I don’t speak Thai. I just fixed up the nuances in English so they’d sound more natural. (Apologies if I made them less accurate as a result!)

Anyway! Episode one had pretty minor changes in all, but I’m having fun experimenting with them. I’m gonna send the file to friends to make sure it sounds all right, then hopefully upload tomorrow. After that, I’ll be editing and uploading the subsequent eleven episodes when I can!

[waitimcomingtoo]

Viral

Pairing: Tom Holland x reader

Requested by @hstyleswritten : you and Tom make tik toks on set that test your friendship

Masterlist

“Hi tik tok.” You waved to your camera. “I’m not sure who’s gonna see this but I wanted to announce that I’ll be playing Black Cat in the MCU going forward. I just saw that the news broke online and-“

“-and she’s my girlfriend.” Tom jumped on your couch and wrapped his arms around you. “Did she tell you she’s my girlfriend? I finally got one.”

“All right, relax.” You chuckled as you playfully pushed Tom off of you. “I’m his girlfriend in the movies. Tom and I are just friends.”

“Why’d you have to kill my vibe?” He teased as he hugged you again. “Who is this video for anyway?”

“It’s for tik tok.” You told him.

“Oh. Hi tic tac!” He waved to your camera, making you burst out laughing.

“No it’s not…you know what? It doesn’t even matter. Bye tik tok.” You waved goodbye.

“Bye tic tac! Are they sponsoring you?” Tom asked as you posted the video.

“Uh uh.” You said sarcastically. “Tic Tac is sponsoring me. I get free breath mints for life.”

“Really?” Tom gasped. “You’re so lucky.”

“I’m joking.” You laughed. I don’t think they sponsor anyone. Wait, look. I already got a few thousand followers.”

Tom looked at your phone and patted your back to show he was impressed.

“Wow.” He smiled. “Look at you.”

“Please.” You rolled your eyes. “They’re following for you.”

“Darling, don’t be ridiculous.” Tom tutted as he pinched your cheeks. “They’re following to see this pretty face.”

“No.” You giggled as you pulled out of his grasp. “It’s for you.”

“We should make more of these.” Tom suggested.

“Oh, trust me.” You told him. “I plan to.”

~

“Hi Tik Tok. I’m on set right now. I can’t show you anything or I will be smited but look who I’m with.” You grinned as you rested your head on Toms shoulder and panned the camera to him.

“Hi.” Tom smiled at you. “What’s this for?”

“Tik tok.” You told him. “Say hi.”

“Hi tik tok.” Tom waved. “What is tik tok anyway?”

“It’s a dating app.” You told him casually as you posed.

“What?” He stammered, his jealously getting the better of him.

“I’m kidding.” You chuckled, making him sigh in relief. “It’s kinda like vine. Remember vine?”

“Is that that thing you showed me with the “road work ahead” guy?” Tom wondered, always confused with changing technology.

“Yeah, that’s it.” You laughed again at his choice of references.

“Uh, I sure hope it does.” Tom quoted in the style of the vine. “Was that good?”

“That was perfect.” You complimented, smiling at how he looked to you for approval. “I’m so posting this.”

Tom leaned on his hand and watched you fondly as you uploaded the video.

“How many followers do you have, love?” He asked as he gazed at you.

“13 million.” You showed him your phone and shook it proudly.

“Wow.” His eyes widened. “Already?”

“What can I say? They all want to see this pretty face.” You teased as you pinched his cheeks, just as he did to you.

“Unhand me, woman.” He laughed. “That’s seriously impressive. I can’t believe my best friend is the face of tic tacs.”

You rolled your eyes at his joke as he laughed at himself before checking the comments on your latest video.

~

“Okay I’ve been getting a bunch of comments to do more tik toks with Tom so I’m gonna pull some pranks on him.” You said as you set up your phone. “He should be coming to my trailer any minute.”

Soon enough, Tom opened your trailer door and set a package of baby carrots and some hummus on your counter.

“Hey.” You said stiffly, keeping your eyes on your phone.

“Hi beautiful.” Tom smiled at you. “Whatcha up to?”

“Nothing.” You mumbled. “Just sitting here.”

“Are you okay? You seem upset.” Tom noticed. You flicked your eyes to the camera and smirked a little before going in for the kill.

“You could have been nicer to be today.” You said quietly, still keeping your eyes down.

Toms eyes widened before filling with sadness as he took a seat next to you in the couch.

“I’m sorry, princess. What did I do that made you feel like that?” He apologized as he rubbed your back.

“Nothing. I don’t want to talk about it.” You said coldly as you turned away from him.

“Is this because I said my butt looked bigger in my suit than yours looked in your suit?” Tom asked, making you break.

“You didn’t say that.” You laughed as you turned around.

“But I’ve been thinking it all day.” He grimaced, resulting in you hitting him with a pillow.

“You think I didn’t see you camera?” He laughed as he pointed to your phone. “You’re making a clip clop.”

“It’s a Tik Tok.” You corrected as you hit him with another pillow. “And I hate you.”

“Guys. Send help.” Tom said as he grabbed your phone. “My best friend is trying to kill me.”

Tom let out a scream as you chased him but the video ending and perfectly cut off his scream. You burst out laughing when you watched it back and added some hashtags before posting it.

“How many followers are you at now?” He asked once you caught up to him and tackled him onto the bed.

“23 million.” You told him as you shook your phone in his face.

“Wow. All thanks to me.” He pretended to flip some hair behind his shoulder.

“Shut up.” You shoved him playfully. “I’m so gonna get you back for this.”

~

Your plan to get Tom back went into motion the following week when the two of you were hanging out in his trailer.

You set the camera up and gave it a thumbs up before putting your feet back in his lap. You watched him scrolling on his phone for a moment before letting out a loud sigh.

“Are you all right?” Tom immediately noticed your sigh.

“I’m fine.” You said flatly.

“You don’t sound fine.” Tom insisted as he rubbed his thumb against your ankle.

“I am.” You shrugged. “It doesn’t matter.”

“If somethings bothering you, it matters to me.” Tom said gently.

“Whatever.” You grumbled. “Don’t worry about it.”

Tom pouted for a moment when he realized he wouldn’t be getting through to you before an idea came to him. He sudden yanked you by the ankles onto his lap and began to tickle your sides.

“Are you fine now?” He teased as you burst into laughter. “Does this feel fine?”

“You can stop now.” You said between fits of laughter. “I’m okay. It was for a tik tok.”

“You’re making another tik tok?” He asked as he found the camera.

“Yup.” You smiled proudly as you reached for the camera. “Bye guys!”

~

Knowing Tom was in the eating area, you went to see him with another idea for a video. You discreetly set up your phone next to Tom before going through with your plan.

“Hi Tommy.” You greeted him as you wrapped your arms around his neck. You placed a kiss on his cheek before sitting down.

“Hi. Aw.” He chuckled fondly and rubbed your back as you sat down. “What was that for?”

“I just wanted to kiss you.” You shrugged.

“Aw.” He repeated as his cheeks heated up. “Thank you.”

Just as you hoped, Tom leaned in to kiss your cheek. You smiled warmly at him before wiping the kiss off with your sleeve.

“Did you just wipe it off?” Toms smile fell when he saw what you did.

“Hm?” You hummed as you leaned on your hand.

“You wiped my kiss off.” He repeated, visibly offended now.

“Sorry. It was a little wet.” You shrugged.

“So are my eyes in two minutes if you don’t let me give you another one.” Tom pouted.

“All right.” You agreed. “Try not to soak me this time.”

Tom kissed your cheek again and you gave it a minute before wiping it off.

“Oh My God.” He gasped and got up. “I’ve never been this insulted in my life.”

“Wait.” You laughed as you grabbed his hand. “Come back. It was for a tik tok.”

“Again?” He smiled in relief as he sat back down. “How do I keep falling for these?”

“I don’t know, but I’m glad you do.” You chuckled. “You’re getting me a lot of followers.”

“I’m telling you and tik tok right now.” Tom pointed at the camera. “I’m never falling for one again.”

“Yeah right.” You snorted. “He so is.”

And he so did.

“Hey.” You said causally as you walked in to Toms hotel room and found his sitting on the bed.

“Hi.” He said back as you knelt down in from of him. “Oh? What are we doing?”

“Just sit back.” You smiled at him, his eyes widening as you spread his legs apart. He leaned over to see what you were doing right as you picked up a pen you had planted under his bed earlier.

“Thanks.” You held up the pen. “I’ve been looking everywhere for this.”

“Wait, what?” Tom sputtered as you got up from the floor. “That’s it?”

“What’s it?” You asked innocently as you clicked the pen a few times.

“You were just getting a pen?” He gulped as he crossed his legs.

“What did you think I was doing?” You played dumb as you looked at him through your lashes.

“Nothing.” Tom said skeptically as he took a pillow from the bed and placed it over his lap.

“Doesn’t sound like nothing.” You tilted your head to the side.

“It doesn’t matter.” Tom muttered as he held the pillow down.

“Uh huh.” You nodded. “Is there a reason you’re crossing your legs?”

“No. For an unrelated reason, I have to use the bathroom.” He got up quickly, keeping the pillow where it was as he ran to the bathroom. You grabbed your phone and saved the video to your drafts, smirking to yourself as you watched it back. You posted it just as a very sheepish Tom came out of the bathroom.

“Good evening.” He said stiffly as he held his hands behind his back.

“Hey.” You chuckled. “Feeling better?”

“Yes.” He narrowed his eyes at you. “I do.”

“Good.” You smirked. “Glad to hear it.”

“You’re sneaky.” He pointed at you accusingly. “You’re a sneaky little snake and I don’t appreciate it.”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” You shrugged simply.

“Oh, don’t you?” Tom mimicked you.

“Tom, come on. This isn’t fair.” You sighed. “I don’t know what you’re talking about. Stop being so hard on me.”

“I hate you.” Tom said decidedly as you giggled shamelessly. “I seriously hate you.”

“Aw. But I love you.” You pouted as you wrapped your arms around his neck.

“Yeah, right.” He scoffed. “Was that for that stupid app?”

“Yep.” You popped the p. “Thanks for 30 million followers, by the way.”

“30 million?” He asked. “You’re gonna have to do something huge to get to 50 million.”

“Oh, don’t worry.” You told him. “I have just the thing.”

~

“Okay, Toms in the bathroom but he’s coming back any second. This has been the most requested one by far, so I’m gonna do it.” You smiled nervously. “This is the “kissing my best friend” challenge.”

Your hands shook as you set your phone up on the nightstand just as Tom came out of the bathroom.

“Come here.” You pulled Tom by the hand until he was next to you on the bed. “I wanna show you this song.”

Your thighs and shoulders were brushing as Electric Love played, a small smile resting on Toms lips as he listened to it.

“This is a nice song.” Tom said softly as he turned to you. “Do you like it?”

“Yeah. I really like it.” You mumbled as you pulled his face to yours and kissed him. Toms eyes widened in surprise before fluttering shut. He kissed you back eagerly, placing his hands over yours to keep you close. He pulled away after a moment and rested his forehead against yours, sighing happily as the music stopped.

“Did you actually want to kiss me or was that for a video?” He asked suddenly.

“Both.” You giggled before kissing him again. “I’ve been wanting to do that for a while now. Tik tok just gave me a perfect opportunity.”

“So that was real?” He asked hopefully. “That wasn’t one of your pranks?”

“No.” You shook your head, your noses brushing against each other. “It was not a prank.”

“Thank god.” He sighed in relief and covered your face in kisses. “I was planning on kissing you, by the way. I just hadn’t gotten around to it yet.”

“Uh huh.” You humored him as you uploaded the video. “Sure you were.”

“I was.” He insisted. “I had a whole speech planned.”

“Really?” You looked at him. “Tell me your speech?”

“Something along the lines of you’re beautiful, you’re magical, and I want to be your boyfriend more than anything.” He shrugged casually. “No biggie.”

“Aw. Too bad you were too chicken to say it.” You teased.

“Shut up.” Tom laughed. “I was gonna get there.”

“Look.” You showed him your phone. “I posted that less than five minutes ago and it already went viral.”

“What did I tell you?” Tom sighed happily.

“You told me what?” You looked at him curiously. He chuckled a little and pinched your cheeks.

“It’s all because of that pretty face.”

Tag List 🏷

@awesomebooklover17​ @thebookwormlife​ @imanativeofswlondondahling​ @weirdr-artiest​ @serendipitous-amor​ @dummiesshort​

@foreverxholland​ @lavender-writer​ @captainmandeestudent17​ @whatareyouhidingpeter​ @takenbyheartstrings​ @ultrunning​ @imyourliquor-youremypoison​ @theolwebshooter​ @andreasworlsboring101​ @waiting-to-be-myself​ @letsloveimagines​ @peterparkoure​ @a-villain-vying-for-attention​ @justcallmehitgirl​ @averyfosterthoughts​ @jackiehollanderr​ @tiny-friggin-human @mara-twins​ @iamaunicorn4704​ @maryjanee23​ @geeksareunique​ @emmamarshmellow​ @unbelievableholland​ @rebekkah4766​ @flixndchill​ @sovereignparker​ @thisisthebiplace​ @spideydobrik​ @every-marveler-ever​ @undiadeestos​ @caelestii-e​ @eridanuswave​​ @itscaminow​​ @fiantomartell​ @solarxmoonchild​ @where-art-thau-romeo​ @canyouevencauseicant​ @illwritetomorrow​ @thehappygrungelife​ @saysomethingspiderman​ @parkerboop​ @smilexcaptainx​ @quaksonhehe​ @kelieah​ @kickingn-ames​ @babeyspidey​ @seasidecrowbar​ @lovelessdagger​ @love-sick-blues​ @electraheart-3174​ @unbelievableholland​ @yourtypicalhotmess​ @spideyanakin​ @horanxholland​ @thesuitelifeofafangirl​ @anapocalypseinmymind​ @marshxx​ @heyheycharlatte​ @nooneinvitedfascistbarbie​ @tomshufflepuff​ @cookiemonstermusic258​

@maybemona​ @young-romanoff​ @alexxcorona113​ @spideyspeaches​ @lethal-wisdom​ @xo-spidey​ @im-still-tryin-to-find-it​ @big-galaxy-chaos​ @pandaxnienke​ @theincredibledeadlyviper​  @thestylestour​  @officialsimppage​ @mrvelscaptains​ @peterspideysstuff​ @reemusluupin​ @itsemohours​ @satanswitchings​ @okkulta​ @parkerlovebot​ @sarcasticallywitty15​ @mati4188​ @geminiparkers​ @jungkxxkk​ @friendlyneighborhood-mendes​ @whatthefuckimbisexual​ @olixerwxxd​ @starkbrain​ @creatorofthegalaxy​ @far-from-holland​ @f-hollands​ @ilovefrogs1000​ @itstaskeen​ @dreamedforu​ @itmatteredatthetime​ @rockyrogers​

[purrincess-chat]

My Dearest Buttercup CH2

She finished finally! I wanted to let it sit for a few hours before I came back to edit and upload it. This piece is unbetad because we don’t have time for all that with new spoilers dropping every day. Gotta go fast! So, idk when chapter 3 will be out. Could be tomorrow or next week. This brainworm could die after I hit post and it could be two years from now. Idk. See you sometime. 

Read on AO3

Chapter 2

The Agreste yacht was only a few blocks from the school, but the silent walk up the Seine felt like hours. What did Adrien want to talk about? Was he going to profess his love for her? They hadn’t even established the codeword yet! Should she accept his confession before they established a codeword? Why did he look so sad? Oh! What if he was breaking up with her? Wait, no. They needed to be dating to break up. Were they dating? No. She’d definitely know if they were dating. What if he asked her out only to dump her immediately? Adrien wouldn’t do that, would he? No, of course not! He was too polite. Even still, the sullen look on his face did little to quell Marinette’s racing thoughts.

Marinette took a deep breath and rolled her shoulders. She needed to relax. It was probably nothing like that. Adrien said himself that she was one of few people he trusted, so whatever he was going to confide in her, it was probably something serious and totally unrelated to his feelings for her… What if he was moving out of the country? Or dying of a rare blood disease? Ugh, why wasn’t he saying anything?

“So.” She clasped her hands together in front of her, unable to bear the silence any longer. “Is everything alright?”

Adrien shoved his hands into his pockets and pursed his lips. “It’s complicated.”

Oh, that narrowed it down.

Adrien veered toward an expensive boat, walking up the ramp onto the deck like he owned the place because he did. The name Emilie was scrawled onto the side of the boat in a fancy script, Adrien’s mother’s name, Marinette recalled. She scurried after him as a man in a white uniform and cap emerged from the cabin.

“Good afternoon, Adrien.” The man tipped his hat.

“Afternoon, M. Lyon. My friend and I are going to hang out here for a while,” Adrien said.

“Very well. Let me know if there’s anything I can get you.” M. Lyon smiled at Marinette before heading below deck.

“M. Lyon upkeeps the boat for us when it’s not being used, which is almost all the time because my father never leaves the house. He bought it for my mom for their anniversary one year. She and my aunt used to take me and Felix out on the channel when we were young, but after she died, my father had it parked here in the city. He couldn’t bring himself to sell it, I think.” Adrien leaned his elbows on the railing with a sigh. “But that’s not what I brought you here to talk about.”

His eyes were the dullest they’d been in weeks, his expression dark and morose. With anyone else, he could have easily put on a happy face, but alone on the boat with Marinette, Adrien let his guard down. Let the mask crack and crumble, revealing the tortured boy hiding just out of arms reach. Marinette had never seen him this way, and her heart sank under the weight of his sadness. She moved to stand beside him, looking out over the Seine until he was ready to speak.

“I’m sure you’ve seen the commercial for my father’s latest business scheme,” he said, voice low, eyes staring straight ahead. “Alliance. He’s partnering with Kagami’s mom and her company.”

“Oh, y-yeah! I might have seen it once in passing.” Definitely not twenty times on loop. “Is it a big deal?”

Adrien drummed his fingers on the metal. “When my father let me quit modeling, I was really happy — happier than I’ve been in a long time — but for this new campaign, the Tsurugi company developed a new technology that scanned and uploaded a digital copy of me that will say or do whatever they want. My father freed me from my contract, but he kept a copy of me as a puppet. Now, I don’t have any control over my own image.”

“Oh.” Marinette blinked. “I didn’t know that.”

“I know I should be grateful that I don’t have to spend hours at photoshoots anymore, but something about this just makes my skin crawl. I think about the mayor’s pollution campaign, how my father didn’t tell me what I was shooting for, and I never got a say in the message. Now I feel like I never will again.” His hands balled into fists, exposing the whites of his knuckles. “It’s always one step forward, two steps back with my father.”

Marinette pursed her lips. “Maybe this is your father’s way of respecting your wishes. You were the face of his company for so long, and people really love you. It’s not like he can stop running his brand if you quit, so he did the only thing he could think of to give you freedom without sacrificing his company.”

“I guess.” Adrien shrugged. “It just makes me uncomfortable to think that he could make me say or promote something I don’t believe in.”

“Maybe you should tell him how you really feel. Just because you’re not modeling anymore doesn’t mean you can’t help out in other ways. Maybe you could ask him to consult you about how your image is used?” She winced when Adrien turned to her

“I guess it’s worth a shot.” He offered her a pained smile. “I’m sorry for dumping all of this on you. I know you probably don’t have any answers, but I really appreciate having someone to listen to me. I feel bad for complaining about it because my father’s company provides so much for me. All of this stuff is just really complex, and I feel so powerless sometimes. There aren’t many people I feel comfortable opening up to like this, but you make me feel safe. I’m glad I have you in my life, Marinette.”

Marinette’s cheeks warmed when Adrien leaned his head on her shoulder. “Uhh, yeah. No problem. I’m happy to help.”

“So, what did you want to talk about?” he asked.

“Oh, right. I had something that I wanted to talk about. With you. Us. Together. Talking about that thing.” The warmth of his body pressed so close to hers only made her overheating cheeks burn hotter. She shifted her weight, forcing him to sit up, and cleared her throat. “See… you and I are such good friends, and I don’t want anything to ever come between us. You’re… You’re important to me, and I trust you completely but…” She took a deep breath, balling her hands into fists. “I guess I’m just worried about being tricked by your cousin impersonating you. He said such awful things in the past, and I’d hate for that to happen again.”

Adrien frowned, ducking his head as he turned back to look out over the water again. “I know, and I’m sorry.” He rested his chin on top of his arms on the rail, the orange rays of sunset glowing golden in his hair. “Felix has always been a little mischievous — he used to get me in trouble all the time when we were kids by pretending to be me. I thought he was harmless, but I never should have trusted him. The fact that Ladybug lost all of those Miraculous to Shadowmoth is all my fault. She thought she was trusting me, but instead she was trusting Felix. I’ll never stop regretting that.”

“Hey, that’s not your fault.” Marinette stepped closer to him, placing a hand on his shoulder. “Ladybug had a lot on her plate, and… she made the mistake, not you.”

“You’re wrong.” Adrien met her gaze, green eyes somber. “Felix came to me that day and offered me a way out of the trip with Lila. I was so frustrated and desperate for a way out that I listened to him. If I had just done what I was told, it would have been me on that train when Ladybug showed up, not Felix. Then none of this would have happened.”

“Adrien-”

“She must hate me.” He bit his lip, fresh tears casting a glassy sheen over his eyes. “She lost everything because of me.”

“No! She didn’t,” Marinette said more sternly than she intended, so she took a breath. “Felix took advantage of both of you. You can’t blame yourself for that, and… neither should she.” She hesitated, fingers trembling as she reached out to take his hands in hers. “All we can do is learn from our mistakes and do our best not to make them again. Ladybug trusted you enough to give you a Miraculous, and I don’t think her trust in you has changed at all.”

“How do you know?”

“Because I still trust you, and I know what a wonderful person you are.” She lifted his chin. “You’re not your cousin, and I think Ladybug knows that too.”

Adrien searched her expression, a small smile tugging at his lips. He pulled her in for a tight hug, leaning his head against hers. “Thank you, Marinette.”

She closed her eyes, savoring every second. When everything happened, she hadn’t thought that Adrien would blame himself for what happened. She’d been too busy wallowing in her own guilt. Alya was right. Pushing him away wouldn’t absolve her of her shame. It wouldn’t bring the Miraculous back to her, but it might hurt a dear friend. It would definitely hurt her. So she clung to him as tightly as he clung to her, each shouldering the weight of their pain and regret until it became a bit more bearable.

Adrien ran a hand across his cheek when Marinette sat up again, his smile brighter now.

“Um,” she mumbled, shaking the last of the haze from her brain, “I was thinking about everything with Felix, and how I don’t want to be tricked. I realized there’s a lot I still don’t know about you, and a lot that I want to know about you. If it’s alright with you, I want us to get to know each other better, a-and maybe we could establish some sort of codeword to prevent Felix from tricking me.”

Adrien perked up. “That’s a great idea! I’ve wanted to be closer friends with you for so long. I just didn’t know how to approach you. I’m still not great at all of this stuff, but I want to be.” He rubbed the back of his neck. “So, how does this codeword thing work?”

“Uh, well, we just come up with a word that only we know, and if you say the word, I’ll know it’s you and not Felix.” She explained.

“Cool, so what should our secret word be?” he asked.

“Uhh…”

Shoot! She hadn’t thought about it, and she and Alya didn’t brainstorm because the word needed to stay between her and Adrien. Think! What was an easy word that she could remember? Did she even know any words? How could she not know any words? It could be anything! She just needed one stupid word! A word like…

“Buttercup!” She blurted. Any word but that!

“Buttercup?” Adrien tilted his head to the side with a smirk.

“Uhh, what I meant to say was-”

“It’s perfect.” Adrien leaned down, his breath hot on her ear as he whispered, “Buttercup.”

Everything was fine. It wasn’t like Adrien knew Buttercup was the codename she assigned him for all of their crazy schemes, or the name she gave Chat Noir as a placeholder for the boy she was in love with. He never had to know. It was fine.

“I’m glad you like it,” she said through gritted teeth.

“I’ll say it to you every morning when we see each other, so you always know it’s me.” He lifted her hand to his lips, pressing a soft kiss to her knuckles.

She jolted away from him, heat rushing to her face. “That is if you’re really Adrien right now. I-I mean, how do I know you’re not actually Felix, and I’m not giving the codeword to the wrong person?”

Adrien smiled, reaching into his pocket to retrieve the lucky charm she gave him when they were finalists in the Ultimate Mecha Strike tournament. That day felt like ages ago, yet Adrien still held onto it.

“It’s my most prized possession. I don’t go anywhere without it,” Adrien said.

Marinette retrieved the one he gave her for her birthday from her purse and held it up. Adrien beamed, seeing that she still had his.

“There is one other way I can prove it’s me.” He retrieved his phone from his pocket, tapping the screen a few times until a soft melody emanated from the speaker.

The first song they ever danced to. She hadn’t considered that Adrien looked back on that memory as fondly as she did. How often did he play that song and think of her?

“May I have this dance?” He offered her a hand.

Marinette’s heart jumped to her throat. Placing a trembling hand in his, she took a deep breath as Adrien pulled her close. They swayed in time with the gentle rocking of the boat, but Marinette was too nervous to speak. She’d exhausted all of her brainpower coming up with the codeword, so all that remained was a pile of blissful mush. If she was going to pull this getting closer to him thing off, she needed to get used to being in his arms. Adrien was definitely a hugger. A beautiful, sweet, angelic hugger with mesmerizing eyes and an intoxicating cologne. She would hug Alya for not letting her give up later.

“Can I tell you something?” Adrien whispered, breaking Marinette out of her trance.

“Hmm?”

“I’ve always been so guarded because of my father, always been scared to be too loud or to cause trouble, but I don’t want to be that way anymore,” he said. “I’m really happy that you want to get to know me, but the truth is, I don’t even know myself very well. There’s so much that I’ve never thought about before, and I don’t even know where to begin thinking about all of it.”

“Maybe I can help you. We can explore new things and learn who you are together.” Marinette bit her lip. “Whoever you end up becoming, I’m sure you’ll be great, and I can’t wait to meet you.”

Adrien smiled, the first real smile she’d seen all day. “Thank you, Marinette. For everything.”

“Y-Yeah, what are friends for?”

Her heart skipped when Adrien pulled her in, nuzzling into the crook of her neck. His shoulders relaxed, melting against her. They remained locked in an embrace, gently swaying to the tune of a melody that had long since stopped playing. After months of failed schemes to get closer to Adrien, Marinette was finally right where she wanted to be. Adrien needed her, and maybe deep down she needed him too. It wasn’t right for either of them to blame themselves for falling into a trap. It wasn’t fair for Marinette to run from her problems and hurt the people she loved. If Felix tried to come between them, she’d hang him from the Eiffel Tower by his feet herself. She finally had Adrien in her arms, and she wasn’t letting go.

[emerald-chaos]

Coney Island

Hi friends! I appreciate all the love and response I’ve gotten for my writing over the past week or so. You guys sure know how to make a gal feel loved! This is another little idea that came one night when I was screaming to a good friend of mine (which is how a lot of my ideas come to me lmao) about how pre-serum 1940s Steve deserves the best. It’s not necessarily my best work, but Steve Rogers deserves some love too. I hope you guys enjoy! Also please feel free to let me know what you guys would like to see me write next :) Enjoy! xo

Pairing: Pre-Serum!Steve x Reader

Word count: 1895

Warnings: swearing and bad attempts at being funny lol

a/n: this was uploaded on mobile because I’m at work tonight so if it looks funky I apologize! I’ll try to fix it after I finish my 3 night stint lol.

As the sun began to set and the hot July air began to cool, Steve couldn’t believe the situation he’d found himself in yet again.

“Come on, pal,” Bucky chuckled as he pat his friend roughly on the shoulder, “I’ve never met someone who was this upset to meet up with a couple of beautiful ladies.”

“What? And somehow be the third wheel on a double date again?” Steve quipped back at his long time friend.

Bucky replied with a roll of his eyes and waved off his friend, turning his body toward the Coney Island parking lot to see if he could find the girls they were supposed to be meeting.

Steve regretted that he sounded so bitter, but these “double dates” that Bucky dragged him on were somewhat of a joke. It was always the same song and dance. The girl who Bucky was attempting to court would bring a friend, either for moral support or to try and set her up, and that friend would always be wholly disappointed when she saw that Steve was who she was stuck with. Steve knew that not every girl had to like him, of course, but occasionally it would be nice to be as sought after or wanted as Bucky was - or at least to not be looked through by every girl he met.

“There they are,” Bucky grinned, raising his arms above his head to signal the two, “over here!”

Steve took a deep breath and prepared himself for the inevitable look of disappointment that he had become so accustomed to. Instead, as he turned he was met with a stunning pair of eyes and a soft smile splayed across the most incredible pair of lips he’d ever laid his eyes on. Seeing you made him feel like all the air had been forced out of his lungs and no matter how hard he tried, he just couldn’t catch his breath. The only other time he remembered experiencing the sensation was after a particularly bad time that he had gotten the living hell beat out of him in the alleyway - except this time, it was a good feeling.

“It’s a pleasure to meet you, Steve.” You said, your voice soft and warm - like honey.

There’s no way that could be a blush on your cheeks, right?

“Well, we already got our tickets,” Bucky’s voice brought Steve back to the present, “so what do you say we head in?”

---------

For the first time in, well, forever, Steve actually found himself enjoying the evening. The small talk didn’t feel stiff or forced, you never recoiled at any of the accidental touches throughout the night, and you actually looked him in the eyes when you were having a conversation. If you were disappointed in being stuck with Steve, you hid it pretty well.

The unrelenting sun had finally set and the colorful lights of various rides and booths reflected off of the water. You had been on a couple rides, enjoyed some hot dogs and funnel cakes, and now the group of you had been sucked into one of those carnival game booths. Bucky was attempting, as usual, to show off for your friend by trying to win her a stuffed animal.

“Would you like to take a walk or something?” Your voice captured Steve’s attention as he turned to look at you. You grinned a little before adding, “It’s kind of sickening to stand here and watch them act like this.”

Steve was caught off guard, both at the jab directed to your friends and the fact that you would even consider being alone with him.

“I, uh, yeah, sure, we could do that,” he nodded quickly, stuffing his hands in his pockets.

You smiled and started down the boardwalk.

This is too good to be true, right? He thought to himself. She’s obviously just trying to be nice.

“Steve?” your voice cut through his doubts. He hadn’t even realized that you made it several feet away from him and he was still planted in the same spot.

“Oh! Yeah, coming! Sorry!” Steve blushed as he hurried to catch up with you.

The two of you walked side by side for a few minutes, an oddly comfortable silence lingering between you.

“How are-”

“Have you-”

Steve’s eyes met yours as you both began to speak simultaneously and you shared a laugh together. Steve could feel the warmth rising in his face and he hoped to God that he wasn’t blushing like an idiot.

“You first,” he smiled softly.

“I was just going to ask how long you and James have known each other?” you asked, tucking a piece of hair behind your ear.

And there it was.

To anyone else the question would seem innocent, but Steve knew better. You had only drawn Steve away so you could question him about his friend - the same way every other person before you had done. There was a heat building inside Steve’s stomach. How could he be so stupid? How could he actually believe that someone like you could be interested in someone like him?

“T-the only reason I ask is,” you blurted, sounding...nervous? “well, because the two of you are so different. I mean, not in a bad way! Just like, James is so...cocky and loud and you’re...well you’re not.”

Steve stopped walking and looked at you. His thoughts were racing through his brain like a freight train. What exactly were you trying to say?

“God I'm so bad with words,” you laughed, shaking your head, “just forget I said anything at all.”

“You don’t have to feel bad for me, you know. If that’s what this is.” Steve couldn’t hold back the words, and they sounded much colder than he meant them to. He was just so tired of living in his friend’s shadow. The only time girls were ever nice to him was because they wanted to impress Bucky. He was sure that’s what you were doing too.

Once he noticed your brows furrow and a look of sadness overcome your face, he wanted nothing more than to rewind time and take his words back.

“Is that the type of person you think I am, Steve?” Your voice came out a little shaky, but Steve could still hear the hurt he had caused.

Steve sighed and rubbed his face.

“I’m sorry,” he started as his hands fell from his face and he met your gaze again, “I’m just...I’m not used to this.”

“And what exactly is this?” you asked, crossing your arms in front of your chest.

“Someone on these double dats being interested in me.”

He could tell that his words caught you off guard. You were quiet and your arms slowly fell to your side. Steve was having trouble reading your expression, but it looked somewhere between someone who saw a puppy left on the side of the road and someone who was trying to understand a foreign language.

“Just...Just forget it. I shouldn’t have said anything. I’m sorry.” Steve waved his hand, as if he was trying to dismiss the conversation.

What he didn’t expect was for your hand to intertwine with his.

Steve’s gaze lingered on your connected hands for a minute before traveling to meet your eyes.

“You’re not very good at this, Rogers.” You said with a small laugh, “Here I was, thinking I was being too obvious.”

“I-I’m afraid I don’t follow,” Steve slowly responded.

You laughed again, the sound slowly becoming one of his favorites. Before he knew what was going on, you were pressed flush against him and capturing his lips with yours.

This would make the third time Steve had felt the wind be knocked from his lungs.

The kiss was slow, soft, and unlike any other he had ever experienced. It reminded him of the time his dad told him how he knew his mom was the one.

Well, when we kissed it felt like the rest of the world melted away. At that moment in time, it was just her and I.

A shiver ran down his spine as the warmth of your lips left his. As though he was drunk or coming out of a haze, it took him a moment to open his eyes and focus his vision back on you. There was a cute pinkness to your cheeks and you had a doe-eyed expression. It took a moment for the heartbeat in his ears to fade away - the joyful screams of park patrons and whirring of machinery returning.

“I like you, Steve,” You told him, giving his hand a gentle squeeze, “In fact, I've liked you for a while.”

You watched as Steve’s adam's apple bobbed up and down as he gulped.

“You,” Steve cleared his throat as the word came out as a squeak, “you do?”

That smile he adored returned to your lips as you nodded, “I do.”

Before he had an opportunity to respond, you were speaking again.

“I see you at school, you know, around town too. I’ve always noticed how kind you are to everyone. The way you hold the door open for the old ladies at Church. That one time you gave Johnny your lunch because his parents forgot to pack him one?” the smile on your face growing bigger as you recounted the times in which you fell for Steve Rogers, “I mean, what’s not to like.”

Steve felt an asthma attack coming on.

“James is nice and all,” you leaned in then, as if you were telling a secret, “but he’s also kind of a bastard.”

Steve couldn’t hold back the laugh that tumbled from his lips and you quickly joined him. This felt like some sort of twisted dream to him - you standing here, confessing your feelings to him. Never in a million years did he think someone as beautiful as you would even talk to him, let alone have feelings for him.

“Obviously I’m kidding, but in all honesty... you are one of the best men I’ve ever met, Steve. I’m sorry that any one has ever made you feel less than.” You squeezed his hand again.

This time it was Steve who initiated the kiss, holding your face between his hands as he moved his lips against yours. Your hands found a place on his waist and your bodies slotted against one another - like they were two puzzle pieces made to fit into one another. You tasted sweet, like funnel cake, and your lips were soft against his slightly chapped ones. Steve hadn’t kissed very many people in his lifetime, but if this were the last kiss he got to have - he could die a happy man.

“Ahem,”

The two of you separated to see your friend, holding a huge stuffed bear, and Bucky standing before you, grinning like fools.

“Are we interrupting something?” Bucky mocked the two of you, sending a wink to Steve.

“Shut it, Buck.” Steve warned, although he couldn’t help but grin back at his friend.

“Come on, lovebirds” Bucky teased, “my girl here wants to ride the ferris wheel again.”

You smoothed out your dress and smiled at Steve, lacing your fingers once again with his as the two of you followed your friends toward the ferris wheel.

For once, Steve was going to have to thank Bucky tomorrow.

[confinedmadness]

My Favorite Nijisanji Covers

Of course, I’ve haven’t watched ALL covers by all Nijisanji vtubers so these are my favorites only from those I have watched. Also, I have only watched JP Nijisanji vtubers.

This list only includes covers that have their own videos. (Meaning songs covered during lives, etc. are not considered.

I only included links to the youtube videos because I can’t embed more than 5 videos in one post.

Hikaru Nara - Inui, Kenmochi, Akina, Hoshikawa, Kazaki, Yumeoi

光るなら ／ 戌亥とこ、剣持刀也、三枝明那、星川サラ、森中花咲、夢追翔

I actually didn’t know about this cover until very recently. But it’s so good!! Aside from the fact that I love Hikaru Nara, three of my favorite Nijisanji singers are in this video so it wasn’t much of a surprise that it went straight to my playlist. I stumbled upon this video because I’ve recently looked into Kazaki (since she’s currently teamed up with Kaida, who I watch, for an APEX tournament).

Kokuhaku Rival Sengen - Kaida Haru

告白ライバル宣言 ／ 甲斐田晴ｘ宇野圭輝

I think this is the most recent video in this list. I was so happy to see that Kaida made this cover with Keiki and I was not disappointed. I’ve always loved HoneyWorks songs in the first place, so that definitely helped this cover rise up on on my favorites list. Also, because Kaida’s voice is <3

Freesia - Machita Chima

フリージア ／ 町田ちま

I don’t watch Chima’s streams, but I’m definitely a fan of her singing. Among all her covers, this is my favorite. Although I was more impressed by her overall performance in her Elfen Lied cover, this is the song that just goes straight to your heart. Her voices goes so well with it, too!

Your Highness☆My Princess - Gaku, Yumeoi, Kanae, Ryushen

ユアハイネス☆マイプリンセス ／ 伏見ガク、夢追翔、叶、緑仙

This is actually one of those covers I just love for the fun of it than focusing too much on singing skills. Love the members that appear in this cover. Love the video. Love that the song is easy to listen to. And, of course, the legendary comment that said this is how they (the four singers) bait their prey. (All four are known for psycho-leaning behavior/speech).

Disney Medley - Inui Toko

ディズニーメドレー／戌亥とこ

I can’t express just how much I want this video to be longer. But at the same time, it’s perfect! Nostalgic songs sung by Inui? I’m in heaven every time I listen to this. There’s really not much to say except go listen to it (again, maybe)!

Bocca della Verità - Melissa Kinrenka

ボッカデラベリタ ／ メリッサ・キンレンカ

It’s so hard to choose a favorite from Melissa’s covers mainly because they have no bad videos. However, this is the first cover I heard from Melissa so it kind of has a special place in my heart. The way they sing is so “Melissa”. I can’t explain just how uniquely they interpret songs through their singing all the time. 

Last Resort - Ryushen

ラストリゾート ／ 緑仙

I am so sad I didn’t start following Ryushen sooner. They not only have interesting streams, their singing is great! I found Ryushen through Rain Drops because of Akina. Last Resort is my favorite, but their cover of Autophagy (?) [オートファジー] is also great. Although I love these types of songs from them, their range is great and they also have very good covers of slower or more cheerful songs.

Kanzen Kankaku Dreamer - Yumeoi Kakeru

完全感覚DREAMER ／ 夢追翔

Yumeoi!! My ONE OK ROCK fangirl heart almost couldn’t handle hearing this cover for the first time. I count myself lucky that I love Yumeoi’s singing and he actually uploads lots of covers and original songs. There is still never enough, so I hope he continues for a long time!

Nautilus - Inui Toko

ノーチラス ／ 戌亥とこ

Inui’s voice is not only beautiful, every time she sings, you just kind of feel at peace. You know she’ll sing it well. You know she’ll reach that note. You just know. Her voice is that stable. I tried not to put more than 1 cover by the same person but I couldn’t help it.

KING - Kuzuha

KING ／ 葛葉

This is it. The song (this cover in particular) that took over my life in the last two months of 2020. I still replay this until now. This obsession isn’t healthy but it’s so good!!! The mixing is good, and the whole song/video aesthetic just fits Kuzuha’s image. Moreover, Kuzuha’s voice just fits the songs so well!

------

In terms of overall singing ability and style, my favorite is definitely Melissa, followed by Inui and then Chima. 

For the guys, it’s probably Yumeoi and Akina. 

But in terms of singing voice alone, Inui and Kuzuha are on the top. Kuzuha’s voice is really versatile so he has speaking voices that I absolutely love, but his singing voice is <3. (If I was told Kuzuha has a good singing voice when I first started watching his streams, I wouldn’t have believed you though HAHA)

(Unrelated to the topic of this post, but my favorite speaking/normal voices in Nijisanji are Kaida’s and Kanae’s.)

[konaizumi]

Manner of Death ep 14 thoughts/reactions

this was quite the episode, huh?

i know pued is still trash but at least he tried i guess (even if he didn’t get very far)

also rung really just keeps getting worse and worse, huh

i forgot to say this last week but pued really had a secret burner phone with a video of jane’s death and he didn’t have any kind of passcode on it?

bun’s little eyeroll at “because i don’t want to be your brother”

even por wanted them to release the video

yes, bun, call out tan’s self destructive behaviors

That and sorawit are so cute

okay but why didn’t the bad guys have guns trained on them from the start, like??

tan’s little look of “really?” when That gets caught

this whole scene is honestly a bit of a mess

i know your ego couldn’t handle not killing them executioner style but if you had killed them when you already had a bunch of guns trained on them, you’d all be free right now

i didn’t think M would actually kill gun but good for him

“why aren’t you injured” “bc you’re a shitty marksmen” *proceeds to kill gun how gun tried to kill him but actually succeeds*

there’s nothing sexier than when a characters hits someone over the head with a stick or a pipe or something

Tan, is this really the time to be teasing That

i love the writers but i swear they’ve never used technology or social media, was there a need for the hacker guy to make the virus when the technology exists to upload a video and set it to be released at a later time? like they coulda done that then it wouldn’t matter what rung did with the video

lol tan trying to tell bun that he doesn’t have secrets on his computer

also them acting like gps is some incredible technology

also rung is like one of the smartest criminals, why did she keep the phone and not smash it then throw the remains in a fire

also i always have this problem with shows but where exactly are they posting these videos that everyone’s getting a notification and instantly watching them? they avoided this problem with the facebook stuff in earlier eps bc it took a little while to get around and seemed to spread mostly through word of mouth

also why did the police officers just check their phones in the middle of this?

watching M arrest commander tung was cathartic

that tanbun hug

yes, my girl nam! unrelated but she looks so pretty with her hair like that

i also didn’t think rung would die but congrats to por for getting revenge

the woman who plays rung is a really good actress

i can’t believe m x oat is now canon, i love it, they’re adorable

awww, nam wants to be a doctor, nam desrves to live such a long and happy life doing everything she wants

not that That and sora aren’t super cute and I don’t want to complain but how easy would it have been for sora to kiss That on the cheek when he got on the motorcyle

i can’t believe how insane tan is, he’s lucky he’s cute

but damn as soon as I saw the box i was like ‘there better be a ring inside’

but the whole proposal was beautiful with the well edited flashback, it’s just *chef’s kiss*

now if it were me, i prob would’ve given tan a good slap before saying yes, but i guess bun’s used to it at this point

THEY’RE MARRIED!!!!!

im not crying, you are

god, the very last scene, with them in the matching white, the gorgeous view, just the nature sounds in the background, the sunset

im def not crying right now

the forehead touch

damn but that view tho

so, was the actual plot stuff a bit anticlimatic? yeah. did i still love the finale? with all my heart, like they really went above and beyond with the happy ending

i just love this show so much and i’m so sad it’s over, it was truly on another level

[kittyprincessofcats]

RWBY Volume 8, Episodes 8-12

All caught up with RWBY now! (Except for the premium only episode.)

So, two things first: 1. From now on, my blog will no longer be spoiler free for RWBY! I don’t have premium access, so no spoilers for that, but beyond that, I might now reblog spoilers for everything that’s been released to the public. Blacklist “#RWBY spoilers” if you don’t want to see them.

2. I was going to ask what the spoiler policy in this fandom in general is when it comes to premium access. From what I’ve seen, Youtubers usually wait a week before uploading their reaction videos, which I appreciate – but here on tumblr almost no one seems to hold back. I saw a spoiler for “Creation” before it was released publicly. The day episode 13 was released for premium access, I had to unfollow people for posting untagged spoilers for it. And when I went into a RWBY-related tag for one second, I saw a really big spoiler that put me in a very sour mood because it also happened to be very aggressively worded against fans of a certain character (basically, along the lines of “I’m glad X bad thing happened to Y character because I hate them and their fans”). So, that scared the shit out of me and I ended up looking up more specific spoilers about what exactly happened because I wouldn’t have been able to sleep otherwise. So, from what I’ve seen, this fandom’s spoiler policy is just “fuck anyone who doesn’t have premium access” 😒. Always nice to see people being so considerate.

With that said, let’s get into my thoughts on episodes 8-12. Under the cut, because unlike some people, I try to be considerate of others who might want to avoid spoilers.

- So, the Hound really was a person. Specifically, a person with silver eyes and that’s probably what happened to Summer. THANKS, I HATE IT. This is exactly what I feared it would be and what I didn’t want it to be. (I don’t want Ruby and Yang to have to fight and kill their grimm-ified mom, that’s too sad, okay?)

- I love that Whitley really came through and came up with a plan for evacuating everyone! He’s a good bean after all! And that he managed to press that button on the computer before running from the Hound? Amazing.

- Willow Schnee being one hell of a mama bear and summoning a thing to protect Whitley was epic. She was so close to breaking down before that, but then her child was in danger and she just jumped into action right away. Protective mom instincts ftw!

- Blake’s talk about how she looks up to Ruby and how she herself lost the youthful optimism Ruby still has was SO sweet! (Also, Ladybug is an underrated ship/friendship and I really don’t get why people say they never interact? Have you all just forgotten volume 1 and how Bumbleby’s first meeting happened because Yang was trying to wingman Ruby who was trying to befriend Blake??)

- Penny fighting the virus from the inside was amazing, she did so well! I also loved seeing Nora encourage her (and echo Blake’s earlier words back to her).

- Unrelated to these episodes specifically, but I tried to think about who my favourite RWBY charactes even are right now, and I find it super hard to narrow down because I love so many of them, but if I tried to somewhat narrow it down, then (in no specific order because don’t ask me to also come up with an order): all of Team RWBY (though Blake is a personal favourite), Ilia, Penny, Salem, Cinder. (But then again, I also love Winter and Qrow and Robyn and... you get it, it’s hard to narrow down. Oh, and of course Pyrrha, but... you know.)

- “Witch” was honestly my favourite episode of the bunch. That one was just so full of epic stuff. (And now I’m wondering if Salem being one of my favourite characters has anything to do with my love for witches. I used to be obsessed with witches as a kid. In every story I read that had a witch, the witch was always my favourite character.)

- Yang and her team sure found a way inside that whale fast! Also, really handy that Ren’s semblance evolved just in time for when they needed it. But hey, I don’t want to complain about convenient plot stuff too much. Sometimes the heroes are allowed to have a little bit of good luck.

- Hazel listening to Oscar and deciding to get both him AND Emerald out of there was amazing! He really does have a soft spot for kids and wasn’t kidding about not wanting more kids to die – we love to see it! I also think it makes for an interesting parallel that Hazel decided to do this right as Ironwood was sending students to fight on the front lines and Marrow was calling it out.

- I really liked Ren telling Yang she doesn’t have to hide her fear behind jokes. Ren being able to see emotions is going to bring about so many more good moments, I just know it!

- Emerald and “Hazel’s” talk with Salem gets so much better when you know “Hazel” is actually Oscar – Emerald has gotten so much better at illusions and fooled Salem herself! That’s impressive!

- It’s really practical that Ren could sense Emerald’s fear. But also, the group really didn’t have the time to discuss if Emerald was trustworthy – they needed to get out of there asap.

- The way Salem spits out the word “semblance” when she talks to Emerald shows again that she not only underestimates these “new humans” and their powers, but also considers them inferior. It’s a nice little detail how just her tone when she says that word says so much about her worldview.

- Yang straight-up running up to Salem and blowing her up was epic. It didn’t last of course, but it was still a super bold and epic move. I’ve talked before about how cool Yang is and she just keeps getting cooler.

- Yang calling Salem out was amazing and epic, too! And when she referred to Summer Rose as “my mom” that made me tear up just a bit 😢. (I really don’t like Salem’s smile when she says “her again”, though. I don’t want grimm-ified Summer, I really don’t want it, okay? keep it far away from me where I won’t have to see it.)

- I’m a bit sad about Hazel’s death, but it was a really fitting end for his character and a really cool way to go out. The way he looked at all of those kids in danger (proving again that that’s what it’s about for him), whispered “No more Gretchens” to Oscar, punched Salem in the face as she was about to hurt Emerald, injected all of those crystals into his skin (which looked epic, by the way), told Emerald to go, fought an epic fight against Salem and then grabbed her and set himself and her on fire, burning her like a witch – it was epic stuff! RIP Hazel, you died as a hero and went out in an incredibly epic way!

- Hazel’s sacrifice must have been super tough on Emerald. He died protecting her (and JOYR) and it worked. She got away from Salem, but only because someone else, a friend, died for her. Not only must it be awful for her to lose Hazel, she probably also blames herself. (And, as I’ve seen others point out, it was probably the first time in her life an adult did something to protect her. Wow. Someone get this girl therapy, please.)

- The whale getting blown up was an absolutely epic moment. From the music to the cinematography, I loved everything about it. (That said, I will miss the whale. RIP coolest villain lair ever.)

- I loved Watts’ speech to Cinder – and I’m saying this as someone who became a huge fan of Cinder this volume. I love her, but I also love roasting her, and a lot of what Watts said was stuff she desperately needed to hear. I honestly didn’t even like Watts before that moment, but that speech might have made me like him just a tiny bit. The way he just laughed when she dangled him from a building, the way he spelled it out for her that her methods haven’t been working and threw her failures in her face, the ending with calling her “a bloody migraine” – Like I said, I’m a fan of Cinder, but that was glorious and cathartic and beautiful to witness. But what makes it really perfect is Cinder’s reaction: The fact that you’d expect her to kill him or at least scream at him, but instead she spares him and just sits down and cries. I really love what they’ve been doing with Cinder this volume and that they’re finally showing her as someone way deeper than just a power-hungry villain.

- In general, let me quickly talk about Cinder, because even without having seen the last two episodes I can already tell you that she’s my standout character / favourite character of the season. (It was Ilia for Volume 5, Salem for Volume 6, Penny for Volume 7 – and now it’s Cinder.) I said back in my post about Volume 5 that I wish they’d do more with her because after becoming rather interesting in Volume 4 they just went back to making her a pretty flat villain – and I officially have to eat my words and apologize to RoosterTeeth right now! This volume proved to me that they know what they’re doing with Cinder and explained so much about her. I’m sorry for ever doubting the writing. I now want to go back and rewatch the whole show while paying more attention to Cinder and I can’t wait to see where her arc goes from here (yes, I want an eventual redemption, and what about it?). This volume is obviously setting up something big for her – I just have no idea what it is. And at the end of the day, she’s still the Maiden of Choice. She’s the key to the Beacon relic, and that’s going to become important eventually.

- Oh, and can I mention, just by the way, that I think Cinder looks amazing? I don’t understand all the people who say they miss her red outfits when this is clearly her best look yet. The black eyepatch, the cape, the earrings, the short hair, the high boots, the shorts instead of a dress, all the black – this is her absolute best look, period.

- I’ve also noticed that the scene between her and Watts is the first time Cinder has referred to Penny by name. She’s always referred to her with phrases like “some toy” or “Polendina’s creation” before, but this time she just called her “Penny Polendina”, then “Penny” again, and asked Watts how she’s supposed to take Penny’s power “if she’s dead” (not “destroyed”, which is what Watts said, but “dead” – something you say about a person, not a machine). I think somewhere down the line, Cinder has started to see Penny as a person and respect her as the Winter Maiden. Maybe it’s because of how Penny won the fight at Amity, or maybe (though this might be wishful thinking on my part) it’s because Penny questioned why Cinder serves Salem and showed her and Emerald mercy.

- Also, side-note: While I loved Watts’ speech, it sure is bold of him to call Cinder entitled when his own villain origin story is getting overlooked for a science project.

- Neo is an amazing little troll and I love her. From stealing the lamp and skipping along the ruins of the whale happily to those texts to Cinder, all of her moments were brilliant and hilarious.

- Some characters not just forgiving Emerald is totally fair and realistic. But, as I said before (and as Oscar also points out), they don’t have to. People think a “redemption” – or let’s just call it switching sides instead of using such a loaded term – has to include everyone’s forgiveness, but it doesn’t. If Yang and Jaune never want to personally forgive Emerald, that’s okay. They don’t need to forgive her to recognize that she’s changed and work with her. And, as Oscar and Ren point out, Emerald’s abilities would be very useful to have on their side. So, personal feelings are fine and all, but right now they don’t have the luxury to dismiss a potentially very useful ally. (And same for Oz, by the way. It’s fine if they’re still mad at him, but they also need his help.)

- Also, have I already said that I’m very happy for Emerald? Because I’m very happy for Emerald for getting out of there! (Mercury’s and then Cinder’s redemption next, please!)

- F*ck Harriet for trying to get Winter in trouble for letting JYR go. I’m hating her more every second. And then she seriously said “Who cares?” about Ironwood’s plan to nuke Mantle? She’s the most unlikable of them all.

- Everyone’s reunions were so sweet! I loved Ruby and Yang hugging 😭. And Yang cupping Blake’s cheek and their forehead touch had me all 🥰 🥰 🥰.

- After he threatened to nuke Mantle, I hope we can all agree that Ironwood is a straight-up villain now. The most infuriating part is that he didn’t even have to do anything! Whitley and Weiss had figured out a way to save everyone in Mantle and the SDC ships to evacuate people were already there. All Ironwood had to do was let them evacuate everyone to Atlas, and then Penny would have opened the vault willingly and Ironwood could have used the staff to raise Atlas as planned. Problem solved! He should have just sat there and ate his food – but he was so pissed about things not going his way (or maybe he just genuinely hates Mantle that much) that he thought sabotaging the rescue plan and threatening genocide was a better option.

- I loved Marrow’s arc in these episodes and how you could tell more and more that his conscience was making him turn against Ironwood. First he questioned Winter when she was going to nuke the whale before JOYR were back, then he seemed shocked when he thought they were dead, then he tried to talk sense into the other Ace Ops after Ironwood’s ultimatum, and then he straight-up called out Ironwood himself. That last one was dangerous though, and he was lucky Winter was quick enough to jump in and pretend to arrest him, because Ironwood was going to just shoot him in the back.

- Speaking of, I wonder how long Winter has been planning to double-cross Ironwood. How long was she already disagreeing with him, but waiting for the right moment to make a move? Either way, I’m glad she was there to save Marrow.

- The Renora confession scene was so sweet and got me a little choked up 😢. I’m glad they sorted out their issues and told each other how they feel. But like I said before, I think Nora’s arc of trying to find out who she is without Ren is really good and important and Ren respecting that was really good and important as well. It was just a very wholesome scene. Also, I like that we got a little bit more backstory for Nora (her mom abandoned her? that’s awful), and Jaune awkwardly leaving the room was hilarious.

- Robyn telling Qrow he’s a better Huntsman than Clover because he chose to do the right thing was a really important moment for Qrow, imo. (And just a side-note: I’m sure most Fair Game shippers are pretty chill – and I’m a strong believer in ‘ship and let ship’ – but a certain subset of them is starting to get on my nerves with how they ignore Clover’s canon character and story (acting like he would have rebelled against Ironwood if he were alive as if the whole reason he’s dead wasn’t precisely because he cared more about Ironwood’s orders than doing the right thing) and how they make every new plot point about their ship somehow (Oscar’s semblance? Better be a time-travel thing so Clover can come back. Staff of Creation? Better be able to bring people back from the dead so Clover can come back.) It’s so annoying.)

- Yang and Ruby’s talk about their mom was really intense. Ruby’s been holding all of these feelings in for so long, so seeing her say out loud what we’re all fearing (that Summer was turned into a Grimm) and seeing both her and Yang break down over it – that was a lot. I loved seeing Yang comfort Ruby and tell her that her plan for Amity wasn’t useless. Their sisterly bond is so sweet.

- Penny asking Ruby to kill her was another really intense moment. The look on Ruby’s face in that moment really said it all. Ruby has been through so much, has lost Penny before, so hearing that request – even though they fortunately didn’t have to go through with it – must have still been a lot for her.

- I really loved Emerald’s cute “newly reformed villain” moments. (“You guys have been getting your asses kicked… some of that my fault” & “I’m just going to be super pissed if you all finally decide to give up the moment I switch sides.”) I’ve said before (in my She-Ra posts) that my favourite part of any redemption arc is the “former enemies, now awkward around each other” stuff, so this was right up my alley!

- “The girl who fell through the world” was referenced twice now. Between that, the image of everyone falling in the opening, and the lyrics “sometimes it’s worth it all to risk the fall”, I’m going to predict that someone – most likely all of Team RWBY – will fall into that void and potentially end up in a different world.

- The group’s plan to defeat Ironwood, stop the bomb, and get to the vault was amazing all-around. I love the parts Emerald and Winter got to play in it, I love how we saw the plan’s execution before seeing how they came up with it and I love how everyone got to help, even the Schnees and Klein. I also love that the hole Oscar blasted through the ground of Atlas became relevant again.

- The design of the vault and the door are really nice and now I wonder what the other two are going to look like.

- Saving Penny like that was super risky, but they really were out of options. Just the fact that Ruby had to be quick enough to use her semblance and get to the staff before the virus kills Penny… jeesh, that was close.

- Ambrosius is a super fun character! I love that he looked at Penny and said “I’d love to meet whoever did this.” Also, the staff seems more useful than the lamp. The lamp only lets you ask three questions per century, while the staff can be used as often as you want – as long as you’re okay with whatever it previously created disappearing.

- I honestly still don’t completely understand what Penny is now. Is she meant to be human now? Or is she just a being made up of pure aura? How does this work? Ambrosius only created the copy that destroyed herself, so what’s left is Penny’s aura – but she somehow also has a body now? I guess we’ll find out more about what exactly this means later.

- Also, while I wasn’t sure how I feel about this decision re:Penny at first, now that I’ve thought about it for a bit, I think it works. It fits with the Pinocchio story, and I like that they didn’t phrase it as “she’s a real girl now”, but as “this is the girl who’s been in there all along”. Also, Penny saying “wow” after hugging Ruby and then going on a hugging spree was adorable.

- Watching “herself” self-terminate must have been really traumatic, though. Even if that copy was just a robot, it was still a disturbing scene.

- Who shut down communications in the middle of Jaune’s broadcast? I’m assuming it was Cinder, Watts and Neo.

- The whole dimension with the doorways that Ambrosius created looks amazing. (A while before watching this episode, I wondered if Raven could theoretically save Atlas by getting everyone to safety with her portals. It might not have been Raven, but I’m glad I was at least onto something.)

- “Do not fall.” So, about that… they’re all falling in the opening, (and we referenced “the girl who fell through the world” twice now), so I don’t have a good feeling about that. Also, Watts has been dangled from somewhere high twice now, so the third time has to be when he actually falls down.

- And Cinder is there to ruin the plan because of course she is.

[mallowstep]

nursery things

when do queens move into the nursery?

also it is very important to me that kits call their parents by their names

this lost all formatting when i pasted it but i need to sleep in literally three mintues enjoy

gestation

cats have a gestation period of about 2 months. for the sake of cat ease, we'll say they think of it as a full season, but obviously they don't know if they're pregnant until as little as a moon before they give birth. this is not factually what is occuring, it's what they think, because that means kits become apprentices at nine moons, a holy number.

anyway, cats will show at three weeks to an experienced eye. at four weeks, they'll have a bit of morning sickness. by five weeks, they'll be able to feel the kits development. so that's uh, about 5 weeks before they give birth?

i'm really bad at math i'm sorry.

after that, they're going to grow rapidly and become unfit for patrols fairly quickly. i'm trying to construct a timeline for the fourth apprentice and the poppyfrost drama, but if berrynose knew poppyfrost's kits were coming, he probably had a point.

i mean, she didn't have to move into the nursery, that was overzealous, and she had some time before she couldn't serve as a warrior, but pregnant queens are not exactly mobile.

like mate. she's not going anywhere.

queen madness

i've talked about this a lot and i'm kind of rushing to get this out bc i have a midterm tomorrow so i'm going to bed in 15 minutes regardless of whether or not i post/queue something but i don't want to cheat by uploading allegiances for something i wasn't planning on writing allegiances for (plus those always take me forever) and fuck i'm getting to the point

look. i've talked a lot about this and i don't have anything new to say.

queens. they get overprotective.

frankly, squilf refusing to take young kits back to camp and them hiding under her tail is a fucking trope in my fic.

i don't even know how that's possible, and yet.

fading

so there's this cat equivalent of sids (sudden infant death syndrome) where young (feral) kits just kind of...don't live.

it's also pretty similar to what's called "failure to thrive"

anyway all of these things are interesting go look them up (sad tho be forewarned, also re. failure to thrive lots of very unethical decisions.)

but anyway, i've introduced this concept as fading for several reasons.

one, it explains the vanishing kits problem.

two, it explains why so many kits die despite having socialized medicine with around 95-99% cure rates.

three, it's a good folklore thing. like, queens are scared of this. they're anxious about it. especially in leaf-bare. it adds a good bit of filler drama and all that.

four, more cat biology accuracy.

anyway, this is marked by a kit failing to grow properly. there's nothing wrong with them, they just...never "get on board."

i'm not digging it out now but i have a quote somewhere that's basically "well, she's quiet and calm, but she's growing, so i don't think she's going to die in her sleep."

anyway, this is basically my merciful catchall for kit death. sue me, that's one of my lines.

(but wait, i hear you say, didn't you literally write a fic involving neonaticide and neonaticannabalism? i made that word up i can't spell for shit tho. well, yes, however, those are not character kits, they are plot devices, and you know it. so it doesn't cross the line. i didn't give them personalities for a reason.)

so yeah. okay 10 minutes left and two more sections i can do this.

birthdays (birth days)

heh no one fucking cares.

about, like, the human concept of a birth day.

no, so queens will know they're going to kit soon up to a week beforehand. hazy sources, i'm sorry, provide on request.

again i'm rushin.

right anyway so queens are pretty Aware as you will, and so there's plenty of time to prep the nursery. or other location. that's fairly common in green-leaf, but the clan works real hard to avoid it in the other seasons because it's significantly riskier.

but anyway, a separate kitting nest is provided, and because these are near human levels of intelligence, the cats don't have problems figuring shit out. the other kits are cleared out to the elders den for as many as three nights (kitting can take up to 40 hours), and it's usually the queen's wish to spend a night w her mate. (a) because parents and (b) because safety instincts.

(also as an only vaguely unrelated side, i've recommended "the minor fall, the major life" before and i can't say too much now because i don't have 15 minutes to reread the whole thing i read 1k words a minute and type 100 words a minute how do you think i publish so much but there's some funny? i think it's funny stuff where redtail is all "you know it's kind of concerning how willowpelt keeps having children with no clear father")

and uh, yeah. queens usually track their kits birth to the nearest whole or half moon depending on the clan. there's usually a transitional day ceremony and a mid season ceremony, kits are done when the queens decide they're mature, usually erring over six moons, but on occasion, erring under.

as far as i'm concerned, cinder/bracken/thorn/bright situations never happen. i never remember the four of them are littermates because of that.

moving on i have like 1 minute fuck i forgot i need to brush my teeth

kinship terms

i've already started work on a separate piece for this but.

kits call everyone by their name. they might stumble over it, and those become nicknames, the way young kids do, but please remove every instance of a kit calling "mama" and replace it with either a generic meow or their mother's name.

this is important to me. it just doesn't make sense for the clan to do this, imo, because we see no other terms to refer to people, not even a father term. kits canonically call their fathers by their name (skyclan and the stranger.) anyway i'll talk more about this later i'm out of time.

conclusion

love u bye <3

[peachchanvidel]

I'm not sure if the search works similar like twitter, so I obscured some terms for the vent. You know what awaits you in here..

I wish I could follow more AtlA/LoK blogs here or on twitter, but the Ky/aliners and b/utch-Lin and le/sbian-Lin posts are so annoying because you can't avoid them, even with tag-blocking, as they have become USELESS thanks to misuse. Also they take their headcanons to such a level they forget they are HEADCANONS. NOT CANON. NOT EVEN FANON (fanon are things like 'moon tea' in fics for an example...). JUST headcanon. FOR THEM. FOR THEIR BUBBLE. And they can't leave the Linzin tag alone. If it's not about the break-up so it can end up in Pe/mzin and Ky/alin they don't care and talk down on the ship I enjoy A LOT.

I blocked the tag Ky/alin. But you know what happens? Half the posts are invisible now, but more than half of these don't even have anything to do with the ship/one of the characters. The tags some people give it are just crap and you mess the system up. I couldn't see some of my own posts anymore after some people added Kyalin in their reblog as a tag to it, and every person reblogging that post took it with them! It's so ridiculous. Do they know that? Is it on purpose? Do they really think some random Lin art is Ky/alin? Because certainly not.

Ky/alin - Doesn't work for me. At all. You'll not find this here. The closest they'll ever be imo are sister-in-laws and childhood friends (they are 4 years apart, so even here taken with a grain of salt).

Bu/tch Lin - Nope, no appeal to me either. You won't find this here either. (And you really are so sensitive, that you put 'tw' for femme Lin posts and put these under cuts? WTF. You know this could go both ways, but I guess the other side isn't as good as whining and playing victim.) I don't work with these distinctions in general.

'Le/sbian' Lin - She was in a long-term relationship with Tenzin. At least Bi or Pan. Stop taking that from her. I don't want to see that take anymore. Tired of biphobic takes. If you need your headcanons for your weird way of 'representation' do that far far away from me.

I multiship, A LOT, but when smth becomes obnoxious and every time I try again to give it a chance... i hit a 'HELL NO' point, it's sad... I blocked a lot of blogs by now, esp. when the Linzin tag is a warzone thanks to them, instead of a place where the few people shipping them can enjoy their ship. I try to unblock some of them now and then again, because cutting everybody off isn't my thing.. but often enough it's proven to be necessary.

I don't expect others to ship the same things I do, but I have seen so much flaming and awful takes, 'just because', which really are leaving you in such a bad state afterwards... I have no compassion anymore. I just say 'NO' and try to leave it at that, as I really believe everybody should ship what they enjoy the full amount possible.

But I don't get why my ship tag has to be fucked up by other shippers like this... and why I don't see a lot of posts anymore because the ship I blocked is put on unrelated posts over and over... and I have to gamble... click on the button to see or scroll over it.

I never get focusing on what you dislike... worse when you search the tags about what you like and get thrown into everything bad. We do have the discord, yes, but it's still difficult, if you are literally locked in there. On AO3 we need to block ships and authors because of mistagging and spite-fics ("I don't ship them, but write about them now"), on tumblr we need to block blogs and ships, on twitter... so many blogs, esp. from minors.

Will I be ever able to just say 'whatever' and finish all of my Linzin art and upload here and take the Linzin tag back again? Because every time I look into it again I'm scared af.

It's amazing how I was never scared about any of this in the FE3H fandom, here I was simply 'never as good as the others' or 'my ship was too small' but damn, I enjoyed like 99% of the content and the drama was so much easier avoidable. :"D Also.. the AkaYona fandom.. it was never this complicated. It's not like there were never any problems, but the amount of time going into all that disappointment from the tags over and over is flabbergasting... I could have drawn three Linzin fancomics by now. And one would be smut.

[firaknight]

HELP ME MAKE A COMPLETE MIITOPIA OST PLAYLIST!!!!!

With your help, I can make a complete playlist of the Miitopia OST on SoundCloud (because fuck Spotify /hj)!!!!

Below are the missing tracks for the playlist. Some of them I was able to find, but the audio quality is poor and I physically refuse to have that.

If you find or upload a track to be added, send me the link!!!! I’ll check it out and, if the audio quality is good, I’ll add it to the playlist!!!!

(Any tracks that have a strike through have been added)

Got my eye on you

Look what I bought…

Under the weather

All better now

Round and around…

Roulette: gold prize

Roulette: silver prize

Roulette: bronze prize

Roulette: runner up

Camping’s end

Wishing upon a star

Quiz: question

Quiz: pondering

Quiz: final question

Quiz: better luck next time

Bon appetit!

To the inn!

Plodding home

Elven retreat

A troubled town

Friends I (1)

Friends II (2)

Friends III (3)

Friends IV (4)

Friends V (5)

Forgiven

Irate

Opening: Miitopia at peace

Opening: end of peace

Opening: a shadow looms

Opening: rise of the monsters

Opening: a simple traveler

Opening: who…?

Opening: run away!

Divine blessing

Your first battle

The hungry king’s theme

Losing face facelift

The nobleboy’s theme

The desert prince’s theme

The great sage’s theme

The genie’s theme

Dominic the dragon

The darker lord’s theme

Fly, dragon riders!

The darkest hour

The unrelenting dark curse

Origin of the curse

End of the dark curse

Ending: divine words

Who put this door here?

Open up!

Arrival: greenhorne

Arrival: neksdor

Arrival: realm of the fey

Arrival: karkaton

Arrival: nimbus

Arrival: powdered peaks

Arrival: the sky scraper

Arrival: galados isle

Arrival: new Lumos

Map: karkaton

Map: the dark lord’s castle

Map: peculia

Map: galados

Map: the sky scraper

Map: otherworld

Stage: easin hills

Stage: strange grove

Stage: castle view

Stage: nightmare tower

Stage: lotus lake

Stage: elven forest

Stage: karkaton

Stage: dark lord’s castle

Stage: ghontu cave

Stage: tschilly peak

Stage: the sky scraper

Stage: otherworld

Stage: midland marsh

Pre-battle: daunting opponent

Pre-battle: imminent clash

Pre-battle: be brave

Pre-battle: calamity bringer

Battle intro: it’s a baddie!

Battle intro: here I go!

Battle intro: I’m gonna win!

We won!

We lost…/we’ll win next time!

Level up!

New skill!

Title: neksdor

Title: realm of the fey

Title: karkaton

Title: the dark lord’s castle

Title: peculia

Title: powdered peaks

Title: otherworld

Title: galados

Title: Miitopia

Makeup

Wigs

Outing: time together

Outing: seaside fever

Outing: seaside relaxation

Outing: café

Outing: fishing spot

Outing: karaoke 1

Outing: karaoke 2

Outing: karaoke 3

Outing: museum

Outing: stargazing

Outing: park

Outing: ranch

Outing: shopping

Outing: cinema—it’s starting!

Outing: cinema—watching 1

Outing: cinema—watching 2

Outing: cinema—action

Outing: cinema—thrilling!

Outing: cinema—ahhh!

Outing: cinema—mystery

Outing: cinema—this is long…

Outing: cinema—that was long…

Outing: cinema—puzzled

Outing: cinema—that’s all…

Outing: library

Outing: botanical garden

Outing: cooking school

Outing: fitness studio

Outing: fitness studio—barbells

Outing: fitness studio—on fire!

Party time!

Horse: first encounter

Horse: to the rescue!

Horse: disappointment

Stable: horse bonding

Stable: a new beginning?

Stable: delicious!

Stable: high spirits

Stable: sadness

Stable: shock

Stable: excitement

[uncloseted]

1/2

1/2

1/2 Hi. I think I could use some help, I'll try to make this short. When I was 14yo (I'm 20 now) I dated a 18yo guy, thank God we were taking it slow and never made things official. Now that I'm older I can see that relash was rlly wrong. He was manipulating, used me to boost his ego, forced me to do things I wasn't comfortable doing and I think although we weren't official, he cheated on me? (more on that later). After a few months of fooling around, I found out something about him that I didn't like and confronted him about it, with the intention of ending that relash. He started begging me not to leave him, asking me tricky questions about the things I had heard of him with the intention of "making me realize" he did nothing wrong, and he even became violent with the person who told me those things, to the point I couldn't break up with him because I was scared. I just stopped answering his texts and calls because I was afraid of even talking to him and eventually he took the hint and suggested we broke up. We decided to stay friends, but that only lasted a few days, because one day, via Facebook Messenger, he suggested we got back together and I rejected him, so he blocked me. Months later, I had to close my Facebook due to harassment (not related to him) and opened a new one. Facebook showed me his profile in 'people you may know' and I decided to peek out of curiosity. Turns out, the moment we broke up, he started uploading photos with his new girlfriend. The descriptions of those pics said the exact same things he used to tell me, and I ain't good a math but I did some calcs and he had to be with her while still being with me lmao. I really didn't care, I was just happy I got rid of him, and I moved on with my life. Some time later I fell head over heels for a guy from my workplace, who I still hold close to my heart. I have trust issues and I am a very private person, especially with my relashs, so I didn't tell anyone about this guy except from like 3 friends. One of them was a girl (that we'll call Anne) who was like a sister to me, and was also friends with my ex. Over the next 2 years I had a relash with this guy, everytime I talked to Anne I used to tell her more details about my relash. Then, one day, I got a text from my ex. He texted me like we were besties and nothing had ever happened between us, like he didn't block me TWICE (yeah, he blocked me from my new Facebook too even though I never tried to reach out to him). I was angry at his nerve and told him so, he realized I was upset and changed his persona from confident and tough as nails to regretful and soft, telling me he was sorry for being so immature all those years before, but excusing his shitty behavior by saying he always "kept an eye on me". Um, wtf? He told me he was always asking stuff about me to Anne, looking out for me. I wanted to know what exactly he knew, but, trying to manipulate me again, he said he would only tell me if I accepted to play a game with him: I could ask him one question if he would ask me one in exchange and so on, and we had to be ttly honest with each other. I really didn't wanna get into his shenanigans but I only had one question (wtf do u exactly know about me, creep?) so I accepted. He asked his question first (dID u fEeL sAd wHeN i bLoCkEd U?) and I asked mine. I thought he maybe knew something about my school stuff and MAYBE that I had been dating someone else. Turns out he knew every. single. detail about my personal life. Not only he KNEW I was with other guy...

2/2 Not only he KNEW I was with other guy. He knew his entire name, the school he attended and every little detail from our relationship and other stuff about my personal life. Every single thing I told Anne, opening my heart to her, she told him. I felt terribly violated. I felt like a dissected frog, open for anyone to see my most inner parts. I felt ashamed, unprotected, sad and angry, all at the same time. I told him what he did was disgusting, to never reach me again or try to "keep an eye on me", and that I would make that job easier for him by getting Anne out of my life. He apologized, said he understood the situation, would respect my wishes, and wished me a happy life. I thought that was it. It took me a while but I got to heal, to feel safe again, although I still have a hard time trusting my friends. But I was wrong. Months later he sent me a Friend Resquest. I was a lil afraid, but tried to calm myself saying he probably just was checking if I was still upset, so I rejected the request and again convinced myself that was really it. But then he sent some girls to take pictures of me during my high school graduation ceremony and recently, his cousin (who was my friend when we were 14 but haven't talked since) texted me. I know that sometimes nostalgia makes you reach out to old friends, but we weren't close at all. Besides, he acted super weird, didn't even try to make small talk or let the convo flow naturally, but went straight for super specific and weird questions: are you studying college? what are you doing with your life? are you in a relationship? I was really weirded out and considered the possibility he may have been asking all those things because my ex asked him to do so, so I kept my answers short and vague, not giving him the info he wanted, and although I def came out as cutting, he kept asking. I tried to still be friendly because I didn't wanna seem paranoid, but I think he realized I wasn't telling him anything over texts, so he asked me to meet again over some beers with his friends on October 27th and that's when I stopped answering. I thought about that strange invitation for a few days until it hit me: October 27th is my ex's birthday. So much about respecting my wishes. I spent the rest of that month really nervous that cousing would try to reach out again, but nothing happened and I started to feel calmed again. Until, in November, he wrote me again, this time asking me if I wanted to go to the beach with his friends. I haven't even bother to open that text. Since them, I've been super paranoid. I know my ex's attacks aren't that consecutive (more like every two years: he contacted me and sent me that friend request when I was 16, hijacked my graduation at 18 and now sends his cousin at 20) but I can't help but think he's always there "keeping an eye on me" and planning his next move. I stopped accepting any friend requests because I'm afraid he will send someone for me, and if someone I already have on my friend list but idk texts me and after some small talks asks me about my life, I get paranoid and ask them why they wanna know and if they have some hidden intentions. Also, there's a mall near his house, and everytime I have to go there to buy something, I feel like crying because I'm afraid I'll stumble with him. I probably sound crazy. Some people may think I'm exaggerating and I should just let my ex stalk me and act all obsessed, but I feel dirty everytime I think about him knowing my personal stuff. It was just so traumatizing the first time. Do you get me? I feel like nobody gets me. Please help me, what can I do? I don't know how to make him stop, I'm tired of living in fear.

Not to start this off with an unrelated thought, but when did Tumblr get rid of its character limit on asks? I don’t think I’ve ever seen it let someone send in a message this long in one ask.

To get to your situation, I can definitely see why this would be a stressful and uncomfortable situation for you.  The first thing I would do is to stop interacting with your ex and people related to your ex.  You don’t owe his cousin anything.  Block both of their numbers, block their social media accounts, etc., and do that for everyone else who’s friends with your ex (or put them on limited profile/create a “close friends” list on social media).  Tell all of your friends in no uncertain terms that you don’t want them talking about you to your ex, even if it’s stuff that seems harmless, and cut those people off if they do talk to your ex about you.  

The other action you could take is to file a restraining order.  If you go down that route, you’ll have to fill out some forms and file them with the court, and then have a hearing with a judge where you explain your situation.  Then, you’ll have a second appearance in court where the stalker is present, and you both get the opportunity to explain the situation.  The judge will then determine the final order and the conditions of that order.  It can be a bit of an involved process, but it may give you some peace of mind.

The last thing I would suggest is going to therapy.  It seems like you’ve been through something traumatic, and a mental health professional can help you to work through that and move on from it.  There are many options for therapy, both online and in-person.  If you have health insurance, your insurance should cover at least some therapy sessions.  If not, some therapists provide services on a sliding-scale, and online services like BetterHelp can be less expensive than traditional therapy. 

[prorevenge]

Over a decade later, I got revenge on my abuser. (Not graphic)

Background is short and sweet, just like the rest of the story: When I was a young lass, I was sexually abused by an adult male who volunteered at the school I went to. It went on that entire year, and the next year I had the good fortune to change schools for totally unrelated reasons. Due to the standard-issue threats and manipulation that come with these scenarios ("I'll kill your family if you ever tell them and take you to live with me once they're dead," "What we do is a special secret that nobody else can ever know," etc.), I never told anyone. I pushed it down and just tried not to think about it.

Many years later, I had a friend confide in me that something similar had happened to her, and we swapped stories. She had done things the proper, tidy way: she told a trusted adult, the perpetrator was tried in a court of law, he was convicted, and he was jailed for a long time. Everything wrapped up nice and neat with a little bow on top.

She was pissed at me for not telling anyone about what had happened to me, even if it hadn't been until years later (because what if it had happened to someone else?), but I pointed out that once it was past the statute of limitations, I couldn't really tell anyone. Doing so when he wasn't tried and convicted would come back on me as slander. So it felt like there wasn't anything I could do. For a while, I left it at that. But it started to nag at me. Was there really nothing I could do?

I started by looking him up online. A basic Google and social media search were all I needed to find him (living far away from where I was, and I wasn't sure if that meant good or bad things for my revenge, whatever it turned out to be as I had no definite plan then).

On his very public profile, I got some news that rattled me: he had terminal cancer.

It didn't seem like he was going to drop dead the next day, but still, it was now or never if I wanted to get some kind of closure from him.

So I requested him on social media, and he accepted. I sent him the first message: "Hey, I'm (OP) from (school). Do you remember me?" He answered yes, and that was it. I asked for his phone number. "I just want to talk to you." He said he didn't think that was a good idea. I said, "It's been so long, there's nothing that could happen. I'm not mad, just sad more than anything, and I just want to talk. Now that I'm older, I want to understand."

He believed me, and I got his number. I tried calling him immediately--straight to voicemail. He said he would set up a time for us to talk. Okay, fine. I can be patient. It only gave me more time to think about what I would do.

About a week or so later, I called him, and he picked up. I barely remember this conversation, and went through a lot of it on adrenaline, shaking like a leaf. He sounded... sick. Old and sick. Not intimidating, like he used to be. Not scary, not anymore. He asked me what I wanted, and why I was talking to him after so long. I said, "I just need to hear from you what you did to me so I know I'm not crazy."

He said he couldn't do that. I told him he owed it to me, and that it had been so long ago, the statute of limitations was expired so there was nothing that could be done about it. I said that I knew he was dying, and it would clear his conscience to talk about it and answer all of my questions--win-win, right? He still said no.

So I told him that was a shame, and that I'd hoped to get closure from him, but I guess asking his wife and son that I'd seen on social media would have to be enough. This was a bluff on my part--I knew that by telling him that, he could do preemptive damage control. If this didn't work, I'd be out of luck.

He said fine. He first said in a very bland sort of way, "I was inappropriate with you back then."

Not good enough.

I pushed and pushed and pushed until I almost thought he was going to hang up, and he finally admitted it, in detail. I thanked him and asked if his conscience felt better. He said yes. I said good, that was all I wanted for both of us. I hung up.

Now the actual revenge part: I had recorded the whole thing. (Not illegal, I was in a 1-party consent area, and although he lived in a different area, he did too.)

I uploaded it to cloud storage and sent a link to his wife and his (adult) son. I explained that I had found them as a mutual contact on social media, and since he was nearing the end, I thought they might appreciate knowing some of the memories he shared with me about the time he volunteered at that school.

I never got a reply from his wife. I didn't expect one, but still, I was a little disappointed.

It took about three months, but then I finally got a message from his son. It was glorious.

He wasn't the guy's son, he was his step-son, and he'd never liked the guy from day 1. He'd told his mom this repeatedly, but she insisted he was just bitter about his bio dad leaving and told him to get over it. Something just felt off about him, and now he knew what it was. He apologized to me for how the guy had hurt me, not that it was any of his fault--they didn't even know him back then yet.

He told me that he knew his mom hadn't replied to me, but she had listened to it. Afterward, she had left him. While he was dying of cancer. The step-son said this guy didn't have family of his own, and that he and his mom and his own kids were all he had left. They severed ties with him.

Best part: the wife never actually married him, and even if she had, when she left, it wasn't exactly like there was time for the guy to contest anything in court. He was fading fast, and that stuff can take a year or more to get settled. He didn't have that kind of time. When she left, she took all the money (it was all hers, he hadn't worked in a long time due to the cancer), she took the closest thing he had to family, and the best part: without her, he no longer had the money to pay for his private health insurance.

I thanked the step-son for contacting me, and asked if he could do me one more favor: tell me when it was over and he was dead. He happily agreed.

A few more months later, I got the news: he died alone in a state hospital. They weren't going to publish an obituary, although the step-son had decided to have him cremated so that he could just scatter the ashes. No plot, no lasting proof that this man ever existed.

Apparently he had spent the last few months writing constant letters to his now-ex and step-son, calling them, texting them, everything. Neither one had responded, and he died alone, knowing that what he had done had eventually ruined his life and taken away what mattered to him.

I thought it was a pretty fitting ending, although in the end vengeance just felt meh. I always wish that I hadn't believed him back then and had just told someone.

TL;DR: I was sexually abused as a kid but never told anyone. Years later, I get him to admit to it and secretly send a recording to his family. They abandon him and leave him to die alone.

(source) story by (/u/rawr92109)

[the-little-giant-maknae]

this is about the teaser for s/vt that just came out today so yeah :/   

yeah hm the more i think about it the more my head hurts also. When I first saw it, it was already kinda terrible to see? Of course there were clips of regular sv/t laughing but it was definitely overshadowed by the more darker?realistic? scenes. But at that time i just knew that it was sad. I saw some ppl uploaded gifs from it on my tl and i did immediately think that it was a little odd to be making gifs of something so intimate? so i just avoided those and i only retwted one screenshot where he said that they’re supposed to only smile on stage. since that really had a lot of meaning, wistful? wry?? something about. that struck a chord.

but then the more I thought about it, it kinda started to feel a lot more sad? even though they were just showing another piece of reality for them. (not sad for them in the sense of pity, but it was just a sad of seeing another human being having to suffer through this way?especially if those said human beings almost always showed their happiest sides? even the times we see them crying, its almost all from happiness. The last time I remember seeing them cry from sadness is from when they were trying to debut in 17/project, d/k feeling like he wasn’t good enough, wo/ozi feeling burdened with the lives of 13+ people, etc. that’s the closest we’ve come to actually seeing them share their hardships with us, the public). Then i started seeing people’s thoughts, and they’re right of course its completely wrong to post screenshots from that as memes or reaction pictures. But also?

Not everyone has the complete mental capacity ( learned or innate) to understand what they did was wrong. I’m not excusing them at all. But at one or more points in your life, there should be someone to point out something that you’ve done wrong. And to say that it’s insensitive/thoughtless to apply a serious topic/gif to unrelated humor. Because if they don’t understand why it;s wrong, they may leave puzzled, maybe even repeat it (whether for this fandom, or later in life) or feel immensely devastated for something (that they probably took a few thoughtless minutes to do). And of course they should feel devastated, and they should feel bad. But not to the point where they feel like there’s no return, they aren’t even worth being friends with anymore. We’re human too. We need to learn too.

Also I want to add that, in refutation to that, you could say, well the ppl who did it regardless are completely disgusting people that should be blocked and done with. And those are also valid feelings, whether you feel completely horrified by the thought of ppl trivializing serious topics, or just angry at empty-headed ppl. It’s ok to block the posters i guess. But I hope people understand that by doing that, or telling them to stfu (which iS a valID RESPONSE...not the best but VALID) you’re making it harder for them to actually learn from their mistakes.

WHICH i’ll say bc of something that happened in middle school? Something really bad happened to a close friend of our teacher, and when she shared that with the class somewhat casually, it was a pretty serious topic? half of the class laughed (who knows if actuality or just as a reaction) and half stayed silent. and a handful didnt know whether to laugh or not. She got really angry, telling us that the ppl who laughed, and those who didnt know which to do were terrible people. We were in 7th grade.. she expected us all to have the mental capacity to understand the weight of the situation? I couldn’t tell if she was making a joke or just talking aloud randomly, so i had no idea how to respond to that, I was in-between halfheartedly-laughing and not, I couldn’t tell how bad the situation actually was. I wish she had told us outright it was a bad situation. and that she wanted to just let us know,  instead of talking about it in a jokish way then lashing out at us. I’m sorry but I never had a situation where something bad like that happened to me as of then, I had no idea how to react. Was I truly a bad person for not knowing how to react correctly? (I was definitely wrong in the way I reacted. I hate how I halfheartedly laughed a little, I’ll never do that as long as I live now but at that time?? I honestly had no idea. I relied on social cues  ..))

You: hey wait but that’s a middle school story?? This is on twtr, there’s way more ppl with varied ages there, there’s no excuse for the older ones at least.

Yeah you’re not entirely wrong. There’s younger people who might not know how to approach this correctly. And then there’s older people that sHOULD know how to act correctly. All of them need to learn one way or another. Just bc the old ppl should know, doesn’t mean they currently do.

You: It’s not my problem to educate these dumb people.

Yeah it’s not your problem. You’re right. But I hope you could try to, or let other people educate them. It would be nice. And it would help the people in the wrong to understand what they did wrong, and what to never do in the future.

Of course if they think what they did was completely warranted and they’ll never change , then yeah tell them to stfu and never look at their pfp again. But most ppl would not act this way.

but of course twit tl is always so extreme so  yeah :)  anyways before all that i just wanted to say that i feel kinda sad, in the empty pit in my stomach kinda way. I hope s/vt really is ok with releasing this. And I hope car/ats will approach these sensitive situations better.we are all human. pls take a deep breath, sit back. calm down first. but if you don’t, it’s understandable.