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soulofapatrick · 2 years ago

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Keep You Safe - Joel Miller x Reader

Summary: Kansas City was meant to be a quick pass through but things never go how you plan them

Words: 3.2k

Warnings: none that I can think of

Notes: I’m watching the episodes, catching up as I write these

Y/N’s POV

Frank hugs me tightly before handing me the book, the letters sticking out of the top. I don’t want to take it as it means we might not see each other again but Frank forces it into my hands with a whispered promise of “You need to bring this back as you haven’t read it to me yet.” It’s a promise. A promise they’re expecting us to come back in any shape or form and I just hug Frank again, scared this will be the last time I see him.

“Take care,” Bill nods gruffly from where he’s standing awkwardly next to Frank and I just roll my eyes, yanking Bill into a hug. He lets out a surprised sound but does wrap his arms around me, “You keep him sane. He’ll go mad without you.”

“I will.” I promise before saying my final goodbyes and sliding into the backseat of the Chevy Bill’s reluctantly letting us borrow. I’d sit in the front but I’m already mad at Joel as he tried to persuade me to stay here again. Everyone can sense the tension in the air between us but no one says anything, none of them knowing why. All they saw or heard was the sharp sting on me slapping him when he even thought of leaving me behind again. I shouldn’t have slapped him but I thought we were past this and the fact he’d try and persuade me to stay here while he goes off handing my sister to her death… I was furious. I still am.

Ellie spins around in the front seat to look at me, clover green eyes narrowed as she asks, “So, what he do?”

“Nothing.” I snap, crossing my arms like a petulant teenager. I get to be a petulant teenager when he acts like a prick like that. Ellie just raises an eyebrow at me and waits, “He tried to leave me behind.”

“Awww he loves you.” She grins and my cheeks heat up ridiculously quickly. Joel’s climbing into the driver seat before I can make any snide remark back so I just sneer at her before she turns back to explore the car. It’s her first time in a car and it’s amusing watching her flip the visor down then back up, leaning out the window to push the side mirror in while Joel just watches with an exasperated look on his face, “’s like a damn spaceship.”

“No, it's like a piece of shit Chevy S10.” Joel grumbles and I can’t help but snort at Bill’s somewhat offended look. Joel reaches over Ellie, showing her what a seatbelt is before putting the car in gear and practically tearing out of there before Bill can rescind the offer of his car. Ellie, of course, can’t sit still and pulls open the glove box finding an old cassette in there. Bill really was against everything new, Jesus, a cassette tape? Old man, “Would ya leave it?” Ellie ignores him, “Put it back…Ellie.”

The soft voice of Linda Ronstadt fills the car and Ellie just sighs going to pull the cassette back out when Joel speaks up again, “Oh, no, wait. No, no leave it. Oh, this is good. This is Linda Ronstadt.” He tells her and she just stares at him, confusion on her face as she of course has no idea who that is. Hell, I don’t either.

Ellie rolls her eyes but there’s amusement written all over her face as she goes to look out the window as the houses melt away into fields and trees before she makes a small sound, “Eh, better than nothing.” It has Joel actually cracking a smile and I can’t help but do the same before he catches my gaze in the rearview mirror and I’m snapping my head away. I’m still mad at him and he needs to know it because I can’t just let him off the hook that easily. I though we were getting past the ‘leave-you-behind,-it’s-safer-this-way’ but yeah no, wishful thinking on my behalf really.

“Y/N,” I spin around from packing my bag to see Joel standing in the doorway of my room, he’s looking at his hands as he pulls at the rough skin. Oh fuck, this again? I know exactly what the next words out of his mouth are going to be but I entertain him anyway. He steps closer, as if trying to find the right words and his hand cups my cheek. I can’t stop myself from leaning into his touch and relishing in the moment before he shatters it with his next words, “It’d be safer if you stay here.”

“No,” I snap back almost immediately, “You are not going to try and sneak off, leaving me here again!”

“Y/N, it’s safer and I can get Ellie there qui-“

“NO!” It comes out harsher than I intend, “She’s my sister and I’m not letting you take her alone!”

He’s sighing, scrubbing the hand that was just holding me over his face tiredly, that stupid sharp tone entering his voice and my blood boils in my veins, “I don’t want you getting hurt. You are staying here.”

My next action shocks me more that it seems to shock Joel. As soon as he tries to order me about that was it, reaching forwards I slap him as hard as I can. Immediately regretting what I’ve done I stumble back, watching the way his hand flies up to touch the forming red mark and my heart sinks at the pain in his eyes. I never want to hurt him or have him looking at me the way he does, my legs giving out beneath me. Even upset with me Joel practically rushes over but I’m shoving him away, trying to hide my face as tears stream down them.

“I-I’ll wait for you by the car,” There’s a strain to his voice before he’s gone with the quiet click of the door.

“I’m sorry,” It’s spoken so quietly I almost don’t hear it, “I’m sorry I tried to leave you behind again.”

“You should be,” I snap back. He physically flinches and his honey eyes are full of guilt when he meets my forced glare in the rear view mirror. Ellie’s asleep in the front seat so if we’re about to argue then it’s gotta be a quiet one as I’m not dealing with a grumpy and sleep deprived Ellie as well as a pissed off Joel.

“I…” He seems to stumble over his words, his grip on the steering wheel tightening so much his knuckles go white, “I don’t want you getting hurt is all.”

“She’s my sister,” I remind him, “And I can take care of myself. I spent eight years on my own before meeting you and Tess.”

“I know you can take care of yourself,” He retorts, his gaze hardening and he lets out a sharp sigh, “I can’t lose you Y/N, not-“

A bullet suddenly pings off the bonnet of the car, jolting Ellie awake and Joel goes on high alert. We’re coming into Kansas City and there’s a man in front of our car, hand on his bleeding side and he’s crying out for help. Ellie asks Joel if we're going to help him while the hairs stand up on the back of my neck. Joel lets out a sharp “No.” Then floors the gas straight towards the person. He yells and jumps aside with a few choice swearwords. The QZ flies by and it’s empty. Shit.

“Joel!” Ellie shrieks, looking up for a brick to smash the windshield, Joel swerving as the tires pop from running over the shattered glass or police spikes. My heart rushes in my ears as another guy appears, gun aimed at Ellie’s side of the car and I’m moving forwards to shield her in any way I can despite being in the backseat. Joel sees what I’m doing as is apparently having none of it as he’s suddenly swinging the car to the left so the gun is his side and my head smacks the window, pain ringing through me but I have to ignore it when the tires slide and skid and we’re crashing straight through a laundromat, the impact jolting me painfully and my stitches pinching.

“Is everyone okay?” Joel asks, pulling his hand away from Ellie where he’d thrown it in front of her to keep her in her seat. I’d have felt pride or something if I weren’t so panicked right now, the bullets still pinging off the car, “Out! Fast!” He’s nudging Ellie and I get the hint, grabbing my pack and the guns before tumbling out the right side of the car, handing Joel his gun when he reaches for it. We’re stuck out in the open with only Bill’s Chevy protecting us from the hunters, fucking hunters. I take a risk and peak around the edge of the truck and firing a well aimed shot at one of them, hearing the thud and the gurgle before the hunters throw slurs our way and Joel is yanking me back down with fury in those honey eyes of his, “When I say go, you two are to craw to that wall and go through it, okay?”

I open my mouth to protest but a every well aimed shot skims over my head and Joel is yelling “GO!” At us. I follow Ellie on my belly, crawling to the hole in the wall and making sure she gets through first before I have to pull myself up and through it, trying to ignoring the yelling and gunfire behind me as we left Joel out there alone.

“Joel?” Ellie looks up at me as I try to steady my breathing, having to be a steady constant for her when all I want to do is curl up in a ball and cry as I wait for Joel to reappear, “It’s too quiet!” Ellie’s hissing and before I can stop her she’s climbing back through the gap, ignoring my panicked calls for her to stop. She’s going to be the fucking death of me I swear.

A gunshot rings out and I’m practically throwing my aching body back through the gap to see Ellie holding out one of Bill’s guns, a broken look on her face as Joel is on all fours gasping for air and there’s a kid no older than me on the floor with blood pooling beside his head. For a second all I see is Elliott laying there. My breath gets stuck in my throat as I’m stumbling back, tears blurring my vision and I barely see the way Joel snatches the gun from Ellie with a few harsh words then he’s approaching me where I’ve sunk to the floor with my knees to my chest. His calloused hands grip my face and force me to look at him so I can see his face when he guides my shaking hands to his chest where his heart is beating just as rapidly under his layers. It’s all I focus on until I can breath again and Joel’s pulling me to my feet. He’s coaxing me back through the gap after Ellie, “Can you two let me in?”

“Y-yeah,” My voice is shaky but I move to the door, using the butt of my own gun to smash the lock off the door, swinging it open so he can slip inside with us. He’s silently pulling the table in front of the door, anger and guilt radiating off of him so I ask quietly, “What now?”

He reaches for me and I flinch so he just lets out a defeated sigh, “We go up so I can see the layout of the city and find us a way out of here.”

“Sounds good.” Ellie nods. She’s got her brave face on as she passes me to follow Joel through he door marked ‘stairs’ except I can see the slight quiver to her bottom lip and the hidden shock behind her eyes. She just juts out her chin and disappears behind the door so I do the only thing I can, follow them. Joel’s flashlight is almost blinding when he flicks it, all of us staring up at the endless amount of stairs ahead of us.

The moonlight illuminates the rooftop we have to cross to get into the office building. Joel’s breathing hard when we finally find an office that’s safe enough to camp in for the night and Ellie just spins around with a grin on her face and her voice singsongy as she chortles, “Come on, lazy ass!”

“Lazy ass? I’m forty-six, you little shit,” He grumbles as he grabs the fire extinguisher to smash the glass of the office door and reach in to unlock it. He holds the door open for us and we slip inside throwing our packs down while Joel just glares at her but there’s no menace behind his glare. He’s kicking the glass about, spreading it across the floor so if someone breaks in we’ll hear the crunch of the glass. I help, grabbing the cushions from the leather sofas and laying them on the floor in two rows. Ellie gets two cushions as she’s small and Joel gets the other makeshift bed gets three while I lay my jacket on the floor to sleep on it and use my bag as a pillow. Joel’s the oldest, he deserves the luxury of the cushions or his bones might just pop out of place. The thought has me snorting, causing the pair of them to turn to me in question and I’m just shaking my head and laying back against my pack.

“No,” Joel’s got that sharp tone again and I just ignore him, rolling on my side to face Ellie who is already laid down and trying to sleep, “Y/N. No.” Again, I just ignore him, hoping he’ll just leave it be and take the bed. It goes silent and I’ve won this one, a first. Of course, I’m wrong. Those strong arms sweep me up off the floor, ignoring my shriek of surprise, as he lays me on the cushion bed, keeping me in place despite my struggles as he shrugs off his own jacket. He’s squashing himself behind me, wrapping me up in his arms as he scolds me, voice in almost a low growl, “You don’t do anything like that ever again, you understand me?”

He’s obviously referring to earlier when I killed the hunter but also now, trying to sleep on the floor with a still healing injury. It’s like he can read my thoughts because his fingers are ghosting over the cut, leaving goosebumps in his trail and I’m shivering, “i”m sorry.”

“I know.”

I’m sitting up, tearing myself from Joel’s arms when the glass crunches. Two guys are there, one my age and the other Ellie’s and they’ve got guns pointed at us. I want to move, to put myself between the older and Ellie but he shakes his head in warning, pressing the barrel to her skull and forcing her to kneel. The younger kid has his gun pointed at me and Joel, a finger to his lips and orange paint around his eyes in the shape of a superhero mask.

“Joel,” I smack Joel’s arm lightly but he’s sleeping on his left side so his right ear is up and he’s go shit hearing in that ear so I call his name a little louder with a harder smack. He jolts awake, hands finding my waist and trying to yank me back so he’s between me and the gun, a look on his face one that has had many running away with their tails tucked between their legs. The older man, gun still to Ellie’s head, feels the affects of the glare as the gun in his hand shakes ever so slightly.

“Now we don’t want to hurt you,” He speaks in as much of an authoritative voice as he can muster, obviously never having to do this before. Joel’s hands tighten on my waist, nails digging in almost painfully but it’s grounding as I’m one wrong word away from jumping between this man and Ellie, “You don’t have to worry about what to say. We don’t want to hurt you. We wanna help you.”

“Okay,” Joel’s voice is low and dangerous and it has the man, shifting on the spot, eyes flickering between the three of us and the gun in his hand shaking a little more obvious while the kid stands steady, eyes darting between what I’m guessing is his older brother and us.

“I don’t know what the next step is with something like this but if I lower my gun we didn’t hurt you so you don’t hurt us. Right?” Joel just stares daggers at him and I just wanna yell at him for being a stubborn dick, he might be about to get my sister killed as they guy seems like he could be a little trigger happy from fear.

“That’s right.” Joel nods once and I let my forehead fall to the back of his shoulder in defeat because he’s going to get us all killed.

“That’s a weird fucking tone, man.”

“That’s just the way he sounds. He has an asshole voice,” Ellie sighs, hands still up and a pointed look thrown at Joel, “Joel, tell him he’s okay.”

“That’s right.” Joel keeps the same tone. Yep. We are going to die, “Everything is great.”

“Dude!” Ellie groans, just as exasperated as I am, knowing our lives are on the line as our gun have been kicked out of our reach and if we even try make a move for them it’s Ellie who’s gonna die first.

“Okay. Listen. I’m gonna trust you.” The guy says, eyes wide and he waves his hand to get the kid’s attention, signing something to him before the safety is clicked back on both their guns, “But if either of you guys try anything…”

The kids steps back, away from me and Joel, my companion letting go of my hips as he sits up. Joel still keeps himself between me and the guys while Ellie scrambles over to me, hugging me tightly and I hug her back, checking her for any injuries they may have caused before I woke up but there’s not a scratch on her. They’re putting their guns in their pockets and it clicks - they’re not loaded. We had the upper hand the whole time but they needed to seem big and scary to keep their territory. Smart kids.

“What’s your name?” Ellie asks them as they sit opposite us, on the cushions Ellie was using as a bed, flicking on the light so we can actually see properly.

“I’m Henry and this is my brother Sam.” Henry, the older, tells us, “I’m the most wanted man in Kansas City. Although right now… my guess is you’re running a close second.”

“Cool!”

“Ellie! Not cool!”

“Riiiigggghhhhhttttt.... Not cool…”

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Tag List Form

Chapter One ⇢ Save Who You Can Save

Chapter Two ⇢ Stitches

Chapter Three ⇢

Chapter Four ⇢ Escape Kansas City

Chapter Five ⇢ Finding Tommy

Chapter Six ⇢ Revealing Secrets

Chapter Seven ⇢ Crossed Paths

Chapter Eight ⇢ Finding Family

Chapter Nine ⇢ Two Become One

Chapter Ten ⇢ Coming Soon

---------------

TAGS:

@words-are-cheap @clover723 @a-psych0s-w0rld @sexyvixen7 @iraot @gemimawrites @pedropascalsrealhusband @twopercentmilk @amythenortherner @sxnshinebxcky @nelsoomon @urnewghostfriend @grooveandshit @reyas-world @canpillowscry @androgynoysgaz @outl4wage @ginger-swag-rapunzel @quinnverses @librafilms @leonkennedyslefthand

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fan-a-tink · 10 months ago

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Young Royals S3 thoughts

EP4

Simon tearing up on the bus... I have no words to describe painful it is to watch this.

That hug. Was so overdue. I’m so glad Wille is there. And him saying „I’m so glad to see you.“ - yes please tell Simon how much he is loved!

Sara and Felice looking at each other like the star-crossed lovers they are…

Vincent, why do you have to be like that? This is literally the last thing Simon needs right now. Just, PLEASE, mind your own business!

„You’re so fucking pathetic“ - couldn’t have said it better. And finally, Wille defending Simon as well!

„It’s really a privilege… not a punishment.“ He’s becoming more and more like his mother…

Oh my god they write letters to their future selves? I do that every year - that is sooooo cool :) I really want to know what Simon and Wille wrote… and is it foreshadowing a time-jump?

Oh August is down bad… He’s trying so so hard to reconnect with Sara, and it is kind of adorable… I just wish she’d let someone in (not necessarily August) and could talk to someone and get better…

„The Queen is too unwell to attend the announcement.“ Oh oh oh oh oh…. I really really really hope she’ll get better. Why does everyone only ever get worse?

When Linda suggested moving to Gothenburg, Jan-Olof was like ‚yes, please do!‘ 🙄 this old white man really thinks that would resolve things?

I feel like if Farima had had this talk with Simon and Linda earlier, a lot of the plot of the first three episodes would not have happened. Simon could have avoided the brunt of the online hate perhaps.. Why did no one feel like it might be a good idea to prepare him for what was coming and give him some advice on how best to navigate being so suddenly in the public eye? Like, they seriously trusted Wille to communicate all of that, a sixteen-year old known for being quite impulsive? Simon needs real support from the system, and he was just left to struggle along without it for three episodes… Why did there need to be a stone thrown into his home for anyone to take any action and give any support?!?!?!

Micke apologising for hugging Sara without asking first… it’s small steps, but in the right direction :))

Simon deleting his online profile is like he is deleting himself. I feel so sad for him. And he is just so quiet and resigned. This is not right…

„Serious, traditional, smart and strong young man“ hahahahaaaaaa have you met Wille?

„To love whoever you want is a human right.“ SIMON FOR PRESIDENT!!

But I also get that Wille does not want to be a spokesperson.

That discussion makes me really sad. Like, I do get where Wille is coming from. But Simon just quietly resigning himself to not arguing more because he wants to keep the peace, once again staying silent when he should have the space to express himself - that’s not right….

Love that Vincent has not enough authority to make people listen to him.

„They’ve been mocking me all day. And now they want to demonstrate? And talking about solidarity….“ I agree, Simon, I agree. And they are protesting because they want to keep their privileges, while Simon was at a protest for worker’s rights. That’s two fundamentally different issues really shows all that’s problematic about Hillerska in a nutshell.

No, Wille, don’t join them!

That scene between Simon and Sara really shows that I think a lot between them just needs to be talked about. Like I’m not saying it will resolve their issues, but at least if they were to talk about it together, they might make a little bit of progress? But I guess it’s only episode four and their reconciliation has to wait little longer for plot reasons 😤

It’s so painful how Simon has just become so quiet. Even when he’s singing, he’s kind of lost his voice… This is the worst!!!! Siiiimoooooon!!

300 crowns for a lollipop??!?!

„That sounds like an eating disorder.“ !!!!!!!!!!! I sometimes feel like Simon is the only sane person in this school.

No Vincent, YOU are becoming more boring every day. Your bullying is pathetic. Leave August alone.

„Klumpig“ is my new favourite Swedish word :))

Even Simon’s smiles are quiet now…

„I never want to hurt you, Simon.“ Look into those eyes.

That scene with them by the window is beautiful… But I feel like their peace is so fragile.

The students are just proving that the inspection was necessary. Like this is exactly the kind of behaviour that they wanted to put a stop to, calling them traitors for leaving, stealing someone’s trousers and chanting ‚Show your dick for Hillerska!‘ - just proves once more that you don’t need alcohol for a group dynamic to become toxic.

And NO girls, you don’t get to be mad at Felice for whatever she said or didn’t say during the inspection. And thank you, Maddie, for defending her!

Ok, I’ve changed my mind, I want to have the shot of them waking up next to each other tattooed :) They are so soft… 💜

It must have smelled sooo bad in that room that morning… 😂

Felice and Sara finally talking. Hallelujah!

Felice is a stronger person than I am because I would have forgiven Sara there and then. Scratch that, I have forgiven her long ago. I mean, if you just try to see it from her perspective… There must be some way for them to forgive and move on, right? Hello? Is anyone hearing this?

Simon worrying what to gift Wille for his birthday… „Does he like to take baths?“ Hahahahahahaaaaa this is so accurate, like this is exactly how helpful my advice to my friends was when I was a teenager…. :))

„And just do whatever they say.“ Oh Simon… I completely understand that you just want to stay safe and protect yourself. Like you should. But please also listen to your friends and don’t let go of who you are…

I really love the friendship these three have. I am so glad Simon has them…

Oh no, they’re talking about Erik. Here we go. This is going to be hard.

Malte is acting the shit out of that scene!!! Incredible. But so is Edvin, like there is so much going on in his face without him even saying anything….

„And Erik was there. Erik was there.“

#young royals #young royals season 3 #young royals season 3 spoilers #young royals s3 spoilers #yr s3 spoilers

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smaller-brandon · 15 days ago

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Brandons quest for humanity: December Edition

(Hopefully lets see when this comes out)

First off: I live, lads! And honestly life is pretty boring and stressful at the same time. But hey the best part about existential dread and stuff is that you can always make jokes! But I bet the 3 people that are seeinbg this are frothing at the mouth right now, wanting to get to the meat of whatever this is. But first go get treated as you do have rabies! I'll wait....... You're back? Ok cool lets rock.

So lets start from where we left off: The day I posted the first edition and vowed to try and make this a monthly thing. I believe thanksgiving happened the day after, meaning no work unless something happened. I work a job for Panera Bread where I clock out after finishing a set of tasks. Same shit different day kinda deal, once you’ve been there a while, and I had been a baker for one year plus one month, since october of 23.

So I have my dad drive me to where I need to be, walk in, only to see someone else is doing the job I thought I was doing that day. I was off that day, unbeknownst to me till that moment. Now a sane person would probably call and say “hey so turns out I don’t have a shift, could you come pick me up?” or just call an Uber. You know, like a person. What I did for the next six hours however consisted of…

Ordering a vanilla latte and watching youtube

listening to part of an episode of distractible

watching season 2 episode 11 of helluva boss (btw holy shit)

Walking to the nearby Chipotle and having lunch there

Walking BACK to Panera

Ordering an almond pastry (it was decent)

Talking with some of the staff (they know me)

Listening through part of a Jim Gaffigan special

Listening through an entire mike Birbiglia special

calling my dad halfway through

telling him it was just a short shift, with him buying it

Don’t be me kids. Stay monetized out there or whatever.

Apart from work and managing a very quiet queer Minecraft bedrock sfw 18+ discord server (wink wink nudge nudge) I rediscovered a word: Tilted. Now to explain the situation, I have to explain a bit more about my job. So I have to work a different Panera “cafes”, because everyone has different days off, meaning if Joey 1 bakes at location A five days a week, that leaves two days where they still need a baker, so bring in Joey 2. And that system is how you’ll have 2 days at one place, 2 days at another, 3 days at either if you’re lucky. So that first location I talked about earlier, well call it “Circle”, and the other location I work at, “Square”.

Now at Circle, the baker area is pretty concealed, so people cant see what going on back there and try to steal recipes or whatever. ON THE OTHER HAND, HOWEVER, Square lets you see the bakers station, as its right behind the register area (known as bakery), so people can see whoever is baking and be like “oh so that’s how they make the thing I like. Fascinating!” But it kinda backfires because most people that come in go right past the little screens you can order stuff on and pay for it there, and come right up to the register, and with square being understaffed, and whenever someone is on bakery, but just isn’t fucking there even though that’s their job, that they get PAID TO DO, guess who gets yelled at while trying to do his job… If you guessed me, the guy with headphones on, looking in a completely different direction, you’d be correct! If you guessed someone else, you’re either skimming or just haven’t been paying attention, in which case I’m worried . And recently I had that happen FIVE TIMES IN ONE DAY. May not seem like a lot, but it wasn’t even rush hour, and there was someone on bakery that day who kept disappearing thirty-ish seconds before someone came up, meaning I would have to stop what I was doing and walk around trying to find her to tell her she has a customer. And that made me quite mad, or in this case, tilted.

And now for the part where I talk about christmas shopping because its december damnit

So I recently went christmas shopping, for my two younger siblings, (who will not be named so fuck off) and realized that its kinda hard christmas shopping. Because you have to know a person really fuckin well to feel confident in your gift, and then spend money on it. And the plan was: Buy games, piss out. Didn’t even need the colon but you get the point; this was gonna be easy as fuck. (Fun fact: It was both easy and stressful somehow!) From here my siblings will be referred to as Nail and Switch My thought process was “Ok they don’t have a voucher for the game I know Switch wanted, so I gotta think of something, uhhh, no not pokemon that game is broken, uhh, Breath of the wild, he likes those games, otherwise why would he steal my copies? Ok, Nail… fuck, uhhh, she likes weird but cute stuff, right? Pikmin 4! I win! HAHAHAHA! Oh man my brain.” ...I then had to ask a guy to get the games for me, and that just kinda hurt to be honest. Like he probably has war flashbacks to certain karens, or the stanley cups, or a third thing.

Anyway I pay for the games, snag some variations of chocolate candy, and ride home with my mom, where she told me about party city shutting down. That was the day I remembered party city was a thing.

So apart from reaching 91 games that I’ve bought with money (on playstation), and becoming more active on bluesky (wink wink nudge nudge 2) that’s really it. Thank you for reading and ill probably see you next year. Until then, take it easy.

-Brandon

P.S If it seems I wrote this in one go, thats cuz I did

#text post #today on tumblr #writing #journal entry #idk what else to tag #tumblr do your thing

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anarchist-sloth · 3 years ago

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If it’s not fine it’s not the end

Chapter: 3/7; (previous chapter) (first chapter) (next chapter)

Pairing: Jakexfem!MC;

Warnings: Spoilers from episode 10, dad hating (?);

Words: 6.7 k;

Author’s note: This is a story that will follow what happens immediately after episode 10′s ending. I’m not a native English speaker, so any mistakes are due to that. Thank you for liking my previous chapters and I hope you you are gonna like this one too. Enjoy! :)

It was as if you had forgotten how to breathe, but it wasn't just your lungs that were struggling: your vision was blurred, just like when you were diving underwater, and your mind, always so full of thoughts, especially this past month, was completely devoid of words. It was peaceful, far too peaceful, but you didn't care, because in that moment you had just disappeared from the rest of the world. You wished you could always feel this way.

A muffled voice was calling your name, insistently so, and you found yourself strangely annoyed by it.

You wanted to prolong this delirium. You were having a hard time finding the right words to describe this sensation.

It was as though, finally, everything you had worked so hard for had amounted to something. All the pain, all the tears you had cried weren't just scars destined to fade with time. All this sorrow wasn't just a lesson for the future you that only years of therapy could fix. Maybe, just maybe, you could start to feel hopeful.

You had never once in your life felt this much... Relief.

You were so incredibly relieved.

Because Jake was alive.

This didn't mean he was entirely safe, that much you knew. Hannah had just told you that she saw him being chased by the FBI. It was still a very dark and horrifying reality, one that if you had the power to change you would have done so in a instant. Being arrested by the government may have been a far worse fate than a little fire in a underground cave, but you heart was flourishing nonetheless.

Because Jake was alive!

Maybe it was selfish, desiring he would rather be alive in a prison cell (if the FBI really just wanted to imprison him, you unfortunately didn't know a lot about Jake's supposed "crime") than dead in a filthy mine. Jake was clearly a man of principle, meaning that there was the possibility he would have chosen the latter if the occasion presented itself.

But that was before he knew you. He had promised you he wouldn't have let himself get caught. Because he wanted to stay with you. He wanted to a have a life with you. He had promised you that. And for the first time these last 3 days, you believed he would come back.

He only needed to run away from the agents. You weren't naive, you knew that evading from the federal police was no easy task, but he had already done so, no? That's how you were trying to convince yourself. Like Lilly had said, if there was someone who could have managed to get away from that situation alive, that was Jake. You recalled what he had confessed to you while he was searching for Hannah in the mines, how he had been on the run for 4 years: he must've planned some trick up in his sleeve in case of dire scenarios like this one.

Your only option to keep yourself sane was to believe in this conjecture.

Like many times that day and the day before, you rapidly unlocked your phone to see if he had texted you in a sudden, ecstatic rapture.

His love confession greeted you once more, no new messages in sight. It was delusional, thinking that Jake could answer in any moment now that you knew he didn't die in the mine, and yet you weren't able to do anything but wait for Jake to turn online.

"MC!" "Uh-?!" Hannah's voice finally reached you, waking you up from your trance. She looked extremely worried, her brows narrowed.

"MC, you weren't answering me! Are you okay?" She asked, laying a hand on your shoulder.

You watched for the last time your chat with Jake and once you accepted that he wasn't going to be online any time soon, you left the messaging app.

"Sorry Hannah, I don't know what overcame me...but, but I-I'm okay! So please don't worry" you clumsily stuttered, shoving your phone in your pocket.

You sighed. "It's just...Jake's-"

You stopped talking once you heard the sound of footsteps coming closer. For some reason, perhaps in a weird sixth sense, you knew that whoever was about to enter was none of your friends. That proved to be true. With no regards for privacy, a man and a woman burst open the door's room making you and Hannah gasp.

"Mom, Dad! You could have k-knocked!" Hannah hurriedly said, taken by surprise.

Upon seeing Mr. and Mss. Donfort, you promptly took notice of which daughter looked the most similar to. Lilly was the spitting image of her mother: she had inherited the brown, inquisitive eyes and her soft facial features. She had aged gracefully, not showing many wrinkles nor white hair- but you imagined she was dying it to appear younger. Hannah, by contrast, resembled her father. They both had big ice blue eyes, the kind of eyes that everyone who'd have killed for- you included, which were even more noticeable thanks to their dark hair. He was just as handsome as their daughters.

They appeared drastically tired, which was probably due to what their poor daughter had just been going trough; however, they regained their vigor once they acknowledged you.

Both Mr. and Mss. Donfort rushed to your side and engulfed you in a tight and a bit uncomfortable embrace.

"You're MC, right? You're the girl that saved our dear Hannah?" The mother murmured, her tone wavering. She was tugging hard the back of your shirt in search for some kind of stability.

"Y-yes Mam'. It's me" you confirmed, only now returning the gesture.

"We own you one, Miss. You brought our daughter back to us." Mr. Donfort spoke softly, shaking your hand. He offered you a pearly, radiant smile but you found yourself unable to reciprocate.

A sudden wave of disgust took you over once you remembered one tiny, microscopically detail: this man wasn't simply Hannah's and Lilly's father, but Jake's too.

It was probably unfair to judge Nathan Donfort without even knowing what he had precisely done. After all, for all you knew about him, he could've had Jake before he even met Miss. Donfort. And perhaps Jake's mother had never revealed to him she was pregnant with his child, meaning he also didn't know about him. Those were plausible scenarios.

Somehow knowing this very notion didn't prevent you from resenting him.

Jake had told you Hannah's and Lilly were the only family members he had left. You couldn't help but think, if his father was really clueless and innocent about this whole ordeal, wouldn'thave Jake mentioned him in that audio recording? If Jake had never said the truth to Hannah in fear of breaking her family apart, didn't this mean his existence was problematic for the family dynamic? Didn't this prove that Nathan Donfort was burying his head in the sand, neglecting his own son, his own flesh and blood?

You feel hatred for this man.

You recalled Jake's words. How he had lost everything he had in one single night: his home, his identity, possibly a loved one. How he had been on the run for 4 years now, hunted by the government, risking his life everyday fighting for what he believed was right. You were also reminded of the minor things: the way he kept shifting the blame to himself, his trust issues, his sense of hopelessness, his so called "weakness".

You were furious. Furious that someone as amazing as Jake had it so rough trough out his life. Especially because to you he was nothing but thoughtful, respectful and kind. He was so scared of losing you that he preferred putting his life in danger, as he declared you were the only thing that mattered. You bit your lip.

For how much time did he live alone, knowing that nobody would have cared if he died? How many people could he have relied on? Was there even someone, apart from you and his half-sisters recently, that cherished him in this world?

You wanted to shield him from the pain and to be the one protecting him, not the other way around: what would you have given to be the one to make him happy, just like he made you so incredibly happy.

You asked yourself if the man in front of you could have provided him a better life.

For starters, you imagined, he would have grew up in a big house with a fridge full of fruit and vegetables, and two stepsisters who would have surely loved him. He would have had someone to talk to, so that even if he had struggles with interacting with new people, at least he wouldn't have been lonely.

In this scenario he would have had a regular life, pursuing a stable career without worrying about being caught if he wasn't being too careful. He would have had a normal sleep schedule and a comfy bed. Of course, if this had happened, you two would have never met each other, but you loved Jake so much that you would have rather being strangers if it meant he lived a nice life with his family.

Lucky for you that wasn't the case, but at the moment you could only feel a weird mix of rage and frustration building up on you.

Your eyes started to prickle and you gritted your teeth, as you tried with all your might to not respond to Nathan Donfort with a petty comeback like: "Yeah, I brought your daughter back but your son is still missing, asshole"

Jake wouldn't have wanted that, and you respected his decision.

You locked eyes with him and faked a plastered smile. "There is no need to. I'm also glad Hannah's safe and sound."

All of you glanced over the door as you saw your friends dashing into the room. They looked preoccupied, perhaps scared that Hannah's and Lilly's parents might have heard something they shouldn't have had. You reassured them with a thumps up that everything was okay without the couple noticing it.

Mrs. Donfort got up from the bed in a hurry, drying her wet cheeks with the palm of her hand.

"I'm glad you are here for my baby girl. It's truly touching how much Hannah's friends love her." She exhaled, not hiding how your presence was making her feel. Her eyes were still glossy but the smile was genuine.

"My husband and I will never be thankful enough for all you have done for us"

"Don't mention it, madam" Dan chirped, always the knight in the shining armor.

"Dan's right, Grace. We also wanted to have Hannah back with us" Cleo replied, gently patting Mrs. Donfort's back. The mother latched onto her, glad to have her daughter's best friend support. You could tell by just looking at them how close-knit they were; you guessed Cleo had been there for Hannah's parents during this hard time.

"I have a wonderful idea! I think you should stay for dinner, it will be our formal thank you to you all! Don't you think so too, Grace?" His cheerful demeanor only made your blood boil in anger, but your stomach didn't seem to agree with your heart as it started to growl just by thinking about food. You had skipped breakfast entirely and at lunch all of you had ended up not ordering anything, too distracted about the conversation's topic. You scolded yourself for your lack of self-care. God knew how much you needed that. Fortunately, Nathan Donfort's voice was so blaring that no one noticed your poor stomach's laments.

"If there's one thing my wife is good at, that's cooking! Probably the only thing, haha!" He whispered, nudging you. Ugh. You were never going to like this man, forget Jake.

"You are very kind Mr. Donfort, but we wouldn't want to impose-" Jessy intervened, but Grace Donfort was already leaving the room rolling up her sleeves.

"I agree with my husband for once, it's a miracle! I think it would be lovely if you remained here- plus I always cook far too much!"

"Come on guys, it's useless to debate with them" Lilly commented, already surrounding herself to her parents' demand. You had no option but to accept Hannah's parents' proposal, but at least your tummy was glad to indulge.

Once everyone had left the room, you delicately tighten your fist around Hannah's wrist. You exchanged a knowing look.

"We'll come right away, just give us two more seconds to catch up!" Hannah yelled to her parents, buying you more time. She rushed to her door and this time, she locked it. You both stayed close making sure you didn't hear anyone outside. Once you were sure you were alone, for real, you returned to the bed.

"So, how's Jake?"

You swallowed.

"I just got from you that he's not in the mine anymore"

"Oh" she was understandably overwhelmed. Fidgeting with her fingers, Hannah looked straight at you.

"And...do you know more?"

"...No. I don't" you murmured, averting her piercing gaze. "But I believe he will text me once he's away from the FBI."

"You don't think they took him, do you?" Hannah said in a hushed tone.

"He promised he wouldn't." You reassured her, but really, you were reassuring yourself.

Hannah seemed more convinced, at least.

"Okay. If you say so, then... I want to believe it too" she unlocked the door and you left the room.

The house's kitchen was majestic, the kind of interior design that you could only admire on magazines and advertisements; it was spotless and every utensil was perfectly positioned. But now the lovely kitchen resulted a bit cluttered as it hosted five members. Grace Donfort had assigned a role for each one of you, once she realized she couldn't work solo if she really wanted to feed 9 people. You had to resist the urge to not comment how his husband wasn't contributing at all, but you knew better and decided to be quiet. Actually, all the men were happily chilling in front of the TV: you weren't mad at Dan and Thomas, as the former was a bit incapacitated and the latter was taking care of a distressed Hannah. You weren't going to excuse Nathan Donfort's laziness.

Cleo was helping Grace to cook: they were a pretty efficient duo, which was a given, considering their abilities. Cleo at the moment was cutting the bread in identical cubes for the Caesar salad, while Mrs. Donfort was accurately scaling the sea bream. They worked in a religious silence and no one dared to disturb them. You, Jessy and Lilly were taking care of setting the big table in the garden's house. It was ridiculous to you how even the fricking backyard was a pleasure to the eyes: the grass nicely trimmed, the flowers blooming in cute, handmaiden pots, wires of lights hanging from the trees.

"Lilly, your parents' house looks like a Pinterest dream board. It keeps reminding how broke I am." you lightheartedly joked. Both girls laughed at your remark.

While the blonde was cleaning the dirty surface, you and Jessy gathered enough chairs for everyone. As you placed the last one, Lilly instructed you to where her family kept the unused tablecloths.

You followed her directions, leading you to the laundry room. As you tried to pick a tablecloth that suited the garden's aesthetic (you didn't want to disappoint Grace Donfort's taste, jokes aside) a big thump behind you startled you, but you covered your mouth quick enough.

"Sorry!"

You turned around just to see Thomas stumbling into the laundry chest.

"Phew, it's just you Thomas" you chuckled, folding the chosen cloth. The past events made you jumpier than usual.

"What are you doing here?" "Actually I..."

You stopped your course once you noticed how nervous he looked. It seemed like he wanted to say something important, but he was struggling to articulate his sentence. You gave him the time to find the right words.

"I wanted to apologize."

That made you step back. You didn't expect he would have done it now.

"Oh" "It's just...I realized I've been a real dick to you. I dragged you into our lives and then I only messed things up." "Thomas-" "I wanted you to know that I'm sorry. For, well, everything. And I hope you can forgive me."

You closed your eyes. You didn't really know how to answer back. In one hand, you were glad he had finally took the guts to apologize. You had looked forward to it. And now he had done it. By just looking at him you could see he was genuinely in pain. You knew that Thomas never hurt you on purpose. He was just terribly careless, and terribly in love with her girlfriend. You understood that.

Yet your mind went back to all the times he had put a spanner in the works. You recalled how he had left you hanging after the police had found a body in the woods, how he kept trespassing without telling you the reasons why, how he had voted against you. You were reminded of how disappointed you were of him for using Hannah's phone, after the many times you and Jake had explained it would have delayed the investigation. The last drop was his total disregard of your life. He had basically begged you to die. Well, to be technical about it, he wanted you to swap places with her girlfriend and best friend. But it was idiotic to not think that the Man without a face wanted your head, especially during that point in time. Could he really have been unaware of that?

"I...I can't deny it, Thomas. I was hurt. I am hurt" you gripped the fabric of the tablecloth.

"From the start I've been trying to overlook your behavior because I knew you were going trough a lot. I wanted to be sympathetic, because that's what you needed. But you kept hindering the investigation...and I didn't know what to make of it. When you asked me to go to Ironsplinter,"

He flinched at the memory.

"I felt pressured by you to go. I know you probably didn't mean to, but I felt like I was being guiltrippen. That if I didn't go to the mine I would be considered selfish."

Thomas wasn't looking at you anymore. "...I'm really sorry MC. That was never my intention. I-"

He had a lump blocked in his Adam's apple that he was attempting to swallow, failing miserably.

"I was so scared of losing Hannah that I wasn't able to see I was hurting my friends. That I was hurting you. Love made me... irrational, but that doesn't excuse my actions."

Your grip on the fabric loosened as Thomas' words slithered into your thick skull. Who could understand his struggle better than anyone if not you? Weren't you going to sacrifice yourself for your friends, for him, just because you cared about them? Weren't you willing to give up on your life too see them smile? Of course, in a normal situation, you would have never accepted such offer. Because it was crazy, wasn't it? Risking your life for people you had just met. And yet, it had happened. You had completely disregarded your safety. Only love could have done that, couldn't it?

"I don't blame you if you can't forgive me. I've been awful. I'll accept whatever you decide."

You chuckled. Dan was right, you thought, as you watched him. He really did resemble a puppy when he was scolded, dewy-eyed and slouched. You got closer to him and awkwardly bumped your fist to his chest.

"I know. Maybe it'll take a while for the anger to subside but I see myself forgiving you." You warmly smiled.

"I should return to the girls or they might hunt me for real" He giggled a bit. In the end, you were grateful to hear his laugh: you only wanted to hear your friends' sounding laugh from this point forward. No more tragedies. No more secrets.

"Thank you, MC."

As you had expected, the seam bream and the Caesar Salad tasted heavenly. You already knew Cleo was exceptional at cooking (you hadn't asked, but judging from her Instagram account she was some sort of...cooking influencer?), but you were left positively surprised by Mss. Donfort's abilities. The fish was juicy and you hadn't found any fishbone inside. You guessed Nathan Donfort was right, after all.

During dinner you had kept quiet, except for those moments someone was asking you a question (and even then, it was mostly from Hannah's and Lilly's parents). You weren't participating that much, as you were ruminating on what Thomas had done. His apology had reminded you what you all desperately needed: tying all the loose ends. If there was something this journey had taught you was that ultimately, keeping secrets and not communicating well with the people we care about can only come back to haunt us. Sure, some secrets can't be avoided and some white lies may even be necessary, but you should still trust your loved ones with your burdens. While you were chewing the last remaining chunks of sea bream left, you eyed Lilly and thought about your next move: telling Hannah the truth about Jake.

You didn't know if Lilly had told Hannah who Jake really was, but you could bet on it that she didn't. Not that you blamed her, she was going trough a lot and you had noticed trough out these weeks how challenging it was for her to be honest with her feelings. Your mind flew back to when you and Lilly had organized the #IamJake movement: she was having an hard time explaining what was going on to the group so you had volunteered in her place; you were planning to do the same thing today. You wanted to reveal the truth together.

Once dinner was over, you were appointed to wash the dishes, and luckily for you, Lilly was charged with drying them. You made sure everybody was far enough to not hear you talk and then took your shot.

"Lilly? I've got something to ask you" you whispered, agitated.

Lilly took notice of your hushed tone and started to look around. She probably knew you were about to say something important.

"What's up?"

"You haven't told Hannah about Jake, did you?"

She looked stunned, almost dropping the plate to the ground.

"You...you mean about our...uhm, connection?" She wavered, drying it faster.

"Precisely that" you affirmed, squeezing the sponge.

"Then no." Lilly wasn't looking at you anymore. You lied your wet hand upon her dry one, and you lingered for a bit. It was important for you that she understood she didn't need to do it alone, and that, most of all, she was able to overcome this. You thought carefully about what to say.

"I know it's hard...and I get that you probably don't want to upset Hannah further."

She stopped working.

"I just wanted to pretend that our family is okay. Since Hannah disappeared nothing makes sense anymore." She rambled

"I can't even imagine how hard it must be. You can't have a break." you commented, still trying to lock your gaze with hers.

Lilly nodded.

"Yes. I-" her voice broke a little, but she immediately regained her composure.

"I don't want to keep picking at an open wound." She returned to her mansion, hoping her little speech was convincing enough. Unluckily for her, you were strong willed.

"I see" You turned off the tap.

"I see why you would prefer that, Lilly. You just want to rest for a while. And well, It's a hard weight to carry"

You were facing her back now. Lilly was still fixated on the dishes, but she was moving a little slower.

"But you don't have to carry it alone. I don't think you would be able to fully recover from this if we don't come to a head."

"Then can you promise me that?"

"Uh?"

Lilly faced you, her gaze intense but still moist. She was gripping hard the marble counter and looked as determined as ever.

"Can you promise you'll be there with me?"

"Of course I w-"

"I don't mean just for the conversation. I mean- you won't leave us now that it's over?"

You were left speechless. You hadn't even considered at this point the possibility of leaving them. You had gone trough so much because of them but the thought of abandoning your friends was out of this world for you: they were the only who knew your pain, and the only ones who could soothe it. And apparently, judging from Lilly's reaction, the same applied to them.

"Lilly I- of course I'm not leaving. Hell, even if I wanted, I don't think I would be able to. I promise. I...care about all of you. Really."

You took her hands into yours. She had softened upon hearing your promise, and you hoped she felt safer now with you.

"So...when should we do it?" "Well, since I'm here..." "You mean today?!" Lilly softly yelled, holding your hands tighter. "It'll be like ripping off a band aid. The sooner, the better."

She stayed quiet for a moment, staring at the window on the garden's side. Turning around you saw Hannah sitting on a chair, her head tucked under Thomas' head. She was visibly laughing after hearing Dan's punchline. It warmed your heart seeing her like that. Lilly touched your arms, bringing you back to her.

"Okay. Let's do it"

One by one, once the sun left the sky, everyone took off. You were starting to think it would last forever, as Nathan Donfort proved to be a true entertainer and kept narrating Hannah's and Lilly's childhood stories; the girls were both dark red as their father shared their most embarrassing memories. He was probably trying to lift the spirits up, but you weren't laughing much, and you noticed Lilly wasn't either: hard to guess if it were for the cringy flashbacks or the same reason you were hating it. After Thomas kissed Hannah goodbye, you were finally alone with the sisters.

"Miss MC, did you have fun today?" The dad asked you after closing the door.

"Yes, I did Mr. Donfort. I enjoyed my stay here." You gave him your best smile.

"I'm glad, then! At first I thought me and my wife were bothering you, haha!" You stirred. Your wife isn't the problem, you dick.

"Nonsense, sir! You were both lovely" You quickly glanced at the clock on your cellphone. It was past 10 pm.

"I know it's late, but i was hoping I could catch up with Hannah a little bit? It won't take long, I promise"

Hannah looked at you inquisitively, but didn't say anything. Lilly soon stood by her side and whispered something in her ear without her parents noticing.

Meanwhile, Miss Donfort cheerfully nodded. "Of course, MC! You don't even have to ask." Mr. Donfort wrapped his arm around his wife's hips. "Just like my wife said, you'll be always welcomed here."

And with that, you returned once again into the sisters' room. After making sure no one could eavesdrop on you and that the door was securely locked, Hannah spoke up.

"Did something bad happen?"

Lilly was quick to answer.

"No Hannah, it's not that. Well, I mean-" "She means nothing bad happen, don't worry." You interrupted her when you realized how stiff Hannah was being. You didn't want to cause any panic or anxiety attacks.

"...But you might sit down. Again, we don't have any bad news but it's still kind of heavy." "Yeah" Lilly added, thankful for your interference.

What you had said wasn't totally honest: in any normal situation discovering that the guy you had a crush long ago was in fact your step-brother would have put anyone in a spiral. But considering the recent events, you didn't want her to believe someone was in danger or not who she thought they were. You proceeded cautiously.

"We wanted to talk about Jake."

"Oh" she seemed calmer upon finding out the conversation's topic, to even cracking a small smile.

"You know, when I asked him for help I didn't even considerate that he would have collaborated with you guys. He's always been pretty reclusive, I imagined he worked solo. I'm surprised."

"Well, at first he mostly talked with MC" Lilly explained, mischievously smiling.

"Really?" Hannah asked, curious to know more. You started blushing as you noticed what Lilly was referring to.

"We were a pretty good team." You stated, scratching your head. "We are a pretty good team." you rapidly corrected yourself.

Hannah was happy to hear that.

"Well, he must've noticed you were trustworthy right away. He's an amazing judge of character."

"Yeah, he is amazing..." you bashfully commented. In the back of the room Lilly rolled her eyes.

"...But that's not why I'm here!" You erupted, remembering why you were there. "Hannah, do you even know why Jake contacted you years ago?"

She appeared flustered, but answered anyway. "I don't know, actually. Too many years passed...god, did he really tell you about those times?" She hid her face behind her long hair. You just knew she was recalling her crush towards Jake. This was going to get awkward.

"More or less." "Hannah, we do know why he wrote you years ago" Lilly responded, and you noticed she was starting to tremble. You thought she should reveal the truth, but if things got too hard for her you were going to help her.

"You do?..." "Yes, we do. You see, during the investigation I-I may have put Jake in a...an uncomfortable situation. He had to leave us."

Tsk. That was an euphemism. But you allowed it, as she was doing her best.

"Basically, for a while we thought he wouldn't be able to return investigating. And since we still didn't know how he was linked to you, he sent us a video...in which he explained some things."

Hannah wasn't smiling anymore, now caught up in what her sister was trying to say.

"What kind of things?" She asked cautiously. "He...he told us who he really is." She knitted her eyebrows. "Who he really is?..." "Yeah" Lilly was clearly stalling, but you were letting her proceed at her own pace. Rushing wasn't going to solve anything.

"Lilly, I don't understand" Hannah was sweating cold. "There isn't a nice way to say this." She sat near Hannah or her bed and grabbed her hand.

"Jake is our step-brother."

Just like when, hours back, Hannah had told you about Jake's escape you had freeze in your place, Hannah now looked lifeless. She stared at the both of you like a fawn about to be hit by a car.

"How?..." she could only say. "We don't know the logistics," you clarified, stepping in. "But not only he did say that, but he showed Lilly photographic evidence"

"T-that's true," Lilly took out from her jeans' pocket her cell phone. She went directly into her gallery and showed her a picture of her father hugging an unknown woman.

"This is Jake's mom and-" "And that's dad." Hannah finished for her sister.

You wanted to see how Jake's mother looked like, but Lilly was holding the phone directly towards Hannah's face. You could only see the content of the picture thanks to your peripheral vision, but aside from that, his mom was just a blurry figure from your point of view.

"In this picture you weren't born yet," Hannah thought out loud. "Here dad looks younger, I see no white hair. I don't know if mom was with him at the time..."

You kept your theories for yourself: you didn't want to worsen the mood. And it wasn't the most important part of the conversation, anyway...

"You accepted the truth immediately" Lilly noted, surprised. Hannah sadly cackled. "It's just...Some things make sense now. At least I know I wasn't the problem"

You also sat on the bed next to her.

"You were never the problem, Hannah. If there's one thing I got to understand by working along side him, is that he loved you. A lot." You wanted her to know that. Maybe it wasn't the kind of love she hoped for, but there was love nonetheless.

She simply nodded.

"I was prepared for anything but this." Hannah added, playing with wisps of her hair. She was pondering something, but you weren't exactly sure what.

"Lilly, should we tell mom and dad?" "I think we should, yes." "What are you talking about?!" You loudly objected, slightly irritated.

They looked at you dumbfounded, not believing you could react like that. You were annoyed: how could they not see what they were doing? How could they disregard Jake's opinion on the matter? Which youknew, for a fact, that he would have disagreed upon?

"MC, what's the problem? I think mother should know-" Hannah questioned you, but you weren't listening to her reasoning.

"Jake has explicitly said that he didn't want to break your family apart! Do you think your mom wouldn't be mad at your dad for cheating on her? Also, shouldn't Jake's opinion count?"

"MC, we should decide for our family." Hannah pressed.

"And Jake isn't part of it? Maybe he doesn't want his father and stepmother to know about his whereabouts! For all we know, he might even hate your dad! You can't just assume he'll roll with it!"

You were a river in flood.

"Also, would you tell the whole truth? Because you either reveal he's a wanted hacker, or you keep building your throne of lies until it crashes down! How-"

"MC." Lilly physically blocked you. "Calm down. No one did anything. It was just an hypothesis."

Your heart was beating like crazy, so much so that you feared you were going to vomit it out. You inhaled and exhaled several times and while your mind cleared itself, you mentally scolded your behavior. You had clearly overdid it. You believed what you had said, but that wasn't the way to go. Hannah and Lilly probably felt unsafe from you now. Damn it. You were supposed to be the stable one. Now you truly got what Thomas meant whenhe said love made him irrational. Well, maybe it didn't make you irrational, but surely more on edge.

"I'm sorry girls I- I overstepped. This is your family, thus your decision. I shouldn't let my feelings interfere."

To your surprise, Lilly hugged you. It was a warm, gentle hug, like a sun ray. You hugged her too, glad she saw trough your outburst.

"I know you care about him. And I know his absence is debilitating...But you don't have to keep protecting him like this."

You feared you were about to cry and you absolutely didn't want to explain to Nathan Donfort why your eyes were red.

"I feel like that's the bare minimum after what he did for me. I don't want him to get trough more stuff." You tightened the embrace.

"Same goes for me. We won't act right away, right Hannah?" You peeked over Hannah, who didn't seem to get what was going on. She kept her doubts to herself.

"Right"

"When Jake will come back, we'll ask him what he wants and only then we'll take a decision. Sounds good?"

You let Lilly go.

"Sounds good"

And with that, you left Donfort house. You called a cab (no way you were walking all those miles in thedark...) and drove back to your Motel room. Thankfully, Miss Walter was probably already sleeping in her bedroom so you victoriously avoided her questioning. Last thing you wanted was getting heated about Jake, again. You dropped your exhausted body on the mattress and checked once again your phone. No new text messages from Jake, like usual, however you had been added to a new group chat.

Hannah: I've been thinking a lot these days on what I should do. I was scared to move because I thought no matter what I did, I was destined to hurt people left and right. I've always thought I might be bad, and this feeling never left me rest, to the point I had to see a therapist to sort out my emotions on the matter. Maybe I'll never fully recover from what happened 10 years ago, nor from what has happened recently, but I know something: my lack of decision has led me here, today. I want to learn from my mistakes, but I also think I deserve a break from all this suffering that has never left me alone these past years. That's why I'm not going to turn myself in. Perhaps I'm selfish, but at this point, I want to be happy for once. I want to move forward. For Richy and for Amy, too. Maybe the truth was always meant to be shared with the people I care about. You.

I know I'm asking for a lot. In fact, if you think that you don't want to see me anymore after this, then please don't feel forced to stay. I understand. Thank you for fighting so hard for me. I love you all.

Thomas: I'll always be with you Hannah, especially now. I'm glad you decided to move on.

Dan: You're not a weight, kid. We get it. We wouldn't have asked your opinion if we hadn't taken into account this choice.

Cleo: He's right, Hannah. We'll stand by your side. We need each other to overcome this.

You were flattered that your speech had helped her come to this conclusion. You weren't counting on it, especially after your little breakdown in her room. You texted your friends and decided that tomorrow was the perfect time to go to the police: you couldn't wait for them to take you in for questioning. You knew they hadn't come for you yet only because they were taking care of more pressing matters, like securing Grimrock for the public and investigating more about Richy's entalgment (Duskwood police department was very small, after all)-but you doubted they would deny to hear your testimonies. A part of you desired to post pone the interrogation to a much later date, but deep down you knew how useless that would be. Just like you had said to Lilly, it was like ripping off a band aid: the sooner, the better.

Once you discussed about what to say, you texted each other good night and went offline. You were about to drift asleep when a notification made your phone vibrate. Faster than light, you grabbed your phone and rapidly opened the messenger app. You hopelessly wished Jake had texted you, but, to your delusion, it wasn't him. It was Hannah.

Hannah: MC? Can i ask you something?

You gave your phone a puzzled look.

MC: Sure thing

Hannah: Do you like Jake? Like, romantically?

Oh boy.

MC: I haven't been really subtle about it, did I? Yes. I do.

Hannah: I thought so. The way you defended him earlier...

You gripped your phone harder, embarrassed by your reckless behavior.

Hannah: I think only someone in love would go to such lengths.

MC: Does that bother you?

You were afraid of her answer. You weren't exactly sure why, but you valued her opinion on this.

Hannah: That you like him? It doesn't. I get why you would, you know? He's smart, interesting, and rational, and yet so sweet and considerate at the same time. And he is quite handsome, too 🥲

You were blushing hard under the bed covers. You had never seen Jake, so your imagination always had to work hard to figure out what he may have looked like; however, as the weeks passed, you realized that his appearance wasn't relevant anymore. You loved him for his personality first and foremost. But if he really was as handsome as Hannah was describing him... God, you didn't know how you could handle him. An amazing personality AND looks? That sent a chill down your spine.

Hannah: God, now I'm weird for ever thinking about him that way 😣 MC: Well to be fair, you didn't know!

You laughed sincerely. It seemed like she wasn't holding a grudge.

Hannah: Well MC, I must say I'm pretty tired after today. I’ll go to bed now MC: Goodnight Hannah 😊 sweet dreams Hannah: Goodnight to you too! 😊

You dropped your phone on the nightstand, a gleeful expression on your face. Tomorrow was going to be a stressful day, that was for sure, but for the first time after Hannah's rescue you felt hopeful again. Perhaps you could survive.

#duskwood #duskwood fanfiction #duskwood everbyte #duskwood jake #duskwood jakexmc #duskwood richy #duskwood jessy #duskwood hannah #duskwood lilly #duskwood cleo #duskwood dan #duskwood mwaf #duskwood mc #duskwood thomas

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ordinaryschmuck · 3 years ago

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What I Thought About "Follies at the Coven Day Parade" from The Owl House

Salutations, random people on the internet who most likely won't read this! I am an Ordinary Schmuck. I write stories and reviews and draw comics and cartoons.

AND IT'S BACK! After six months, Disney's latest hit that they shunned, called The Owl House, has made its return! And the fandom lost their gosh dang minds while waiting for it! It's not like we could have watched other shows to fill the void in the next six months. No, no. People had to add more Hootys to the Owl House, adding more scars to Hunter's face, bald Annes, LEGO Edas, and this one dumb schmuck who thought he could write a drabble a day during his fourth year of college (Seriously, what was I thinking).

Not to mention the dozens of people who shipped Hunter with everything but the kitchen sink.

And there's the f**king sink. Gosh dangit. WHY COULDN'T HUNTER HAVE BEEN THE ONE CONFIRMED TO BE AROMANTIC?! And why did I have to draw that?

Whatever. The series is back, and now we don't have to rely on MoringMark to keep us sane in its absence. Now, with that said, let's see how "Follies At the Coven Day Parade" reintroduces us to the sadder side of Season 2!

...Yup. This half of the season's the sadder half. Might explain a lot about what happens in this episode, doesn’t it?

Spoilers below.

WHAT I LIKED

Luz Making Another Video for Camila: A solid way to start after how we left things off in "Yesterday's Lie" while also showing Luz's motivation for this episode...and maybe the rest of the season. The first time Luz made a video for Camila, I think there's a reason why she deliberately chose to stick around the Owl House and show off the people inside. And we see that reason here. Luz may not mind the day-to-day wackiness of the Boiling Isles, but she knows Camila will have a heart attack if she sees what happens to a student who gets detention. The fact that Luz probably getting detention a lot back in the human realm might not do much to ail Camila from said heart attack.

Also, Hooty shedding his skin to wash it or something will undoubtedly give anyone nightmares, let alone Camila.

Still, this was a nice way to begin the second half of a season. It continues from the events of "Yesterday's Lie" while showing Luz has to try harder to convince her mom to let her stay. Or at least visit the Boiling Isles.

The Kids Theorizing About Why Belos Wears a Mask: There are two things to love from this.

One, this shows just how much these kids are, well, kids. They're goofing off, coming up with crackpot theories about what Belos has under his mask, with only Amity being the closest because, of course, she is. She deals with what's more likely, not what's more fun.

And two, this actually comes into play later when Belos actually reveals his face. Don't worry, I'll get into that. For now, I just want to allow us all the time to appreciate how well-tight this series and its script are. Something as simple as kids shooting the s**t turns out to be an integral moment of foreshadowing, and I loved how easily it went over my head. Yeah, that's right. A kids' show managed to have a solid use of foreshadowing in a way that surprised this grown adult. Granted, I'm a person who ate a crayon when he was eight, but the point still stands: These writers know how to tell a good story.

Amity Learning Spanish: These writers also know EXACTLY WHAT THE FANS WANT! Seriously, I cannot begin to explain to you how precious it is that Amity is learning Spanish for Luz! It shows how committed Amity is to the relationship, where she wants to find out as much of Luz's culture as is available to her. And that's everything a ride or die Lumity shipper like myself could ever hope for!

Plus, she calls Luz a sweet potato! COME ON! COME ON!

Luz Kisses Amity on the Cheek: COME! ON!

I'm telling you, we're one Lumity episode away from a full-on kiss on the lips. And when that happens, prepare for all social media sites to snap like a twig!

Eda and King Know About the Promise: On the one hand, I would have loved to see Luz tell Eda and King rather than having that confrontation off-screen, especially when Luz directly lied to them the second she got back. BUT, on the other hand, I am so glad that Luz isn't keeping this big promise she made a secret from the people she loves. Lesser writers would milk that type of thing for unnecessary drama, and I'm glad that Dana Terrace and her talented team are above that. Granted, Luz still keeps the secret from her friends and Amity. But even that doesn't last long.

Besides, it shows how much Luz cares for Eda and King for them to be the first to know the truth. They're practically a second family to her. The least Luz could do is tell them something that could potentially jeopardize it. So, not only is telling Eda and King the truth a great moment of dodging a cliche, but it also shows a great deal about their relationship.

Luz’s Reaction to Raine: On the topic of relationships, can we admit that we're all Luz here? She's a die-hard shipper like the rest of us. So, of course, she'd be obsessed with the idea that Eda once had an ex. One that Eda had a spy keep tabs on...which is a tad bit creepy, but at least it paid off on knowing what happened to Raine after that fight with Darius and Ebberwolf.

And Luz is all there for the idea of bringing Eda and Raine together. Which, yeah, that's adorable. But it also shows a lot more about how much Luz cares about Eda. She wants a mentor to find happiness and would do anything to give her that. Especially if that means partaking in a kidnapping.

Why Luz Wants to Help Kikimora: But it's not just shipping that motivates Luz. When she sees Kikimora worried about not seeing her family again, you can see in Luz's expression how badly she connects with it. Luz wants a solution where everyone is happy, getting an ending where she can get everything that she wants. Luz might have trusted Kikimora too much, but you understand why. She's pretty much on panic mode 100% of the time, thanks to her promise with Camila, having only the briefest of pauses to worry about someone she loves. It's really heavy to think about, making you feel for Luz so hard.

Man, I wish there was a moment of levity, so I didn't have to think about how bad Luz is hurting...

Edric Selling Fireworks: ...This will do.

I consider this another moment of the writers knowing what the fans want. And Edric selling illegal fireworks that got his dumb ass in the hospital for testing out? Yeah, that's about a lot I could ask for from him.

Willow Working Out: Again, THESE WRITERS KNOW WHAT WE WANT! Ever since Dana confirmed that Willow works out on the weekends, fans clung onto that like a life preserver in a sinking ship! So, I'm betting that it's great to see visual confirmation rather than just taking Dana's word for it. It also adds an extra 'screw you' to any jerks left who thought that Willow was fat. She's not. She's buff as FU--

Amity and Willow’s Talk: --UDGE, do I adore this scene! This season needed another Willow and Amity one-on-one session, and the writers delivered. Amity, who is beyond worried for her girlfriend, goes to the one person she can vent these feelings to. Willow listens, offers advice, and even provides a distraction for Amity to focus on (while also explaining why Willow's hair is different in the promos. Cool). But I want to focus more on...a certain reaction from Willow.

When Amity admitted that she was glad they could do things like talk and braid hair again, I believed her. However, note how Willow doesn't say, "me too." She just hums and lets Amity continue the braiding. Heck, Willow doesn't even look as happy as Amity does. Willow just looks down with...not a frown, but a smile either. It's more like acceptance. Willow accepts Amity, willing to let her have this moment even if Willow herself isn't exactly comfortable. It speaks volumes about Willow as a character and her relationship with Amity. She's still not willing to forgive and forget just yet (yet being the key-word there), but she isn't going to let Amity suffer. That's not who Willow is. She's the type of person to act better than to let a grudge define her. And that's just wholesome.

Terra Snap-Dragon: But enough about wholesomeness. Let's talk about the latest villain added to this show's roster, whom the fandom will undoubtedly turn into a GILF. I'M CALLING IT NOW!

To be honest with you all, Terra Terra-fies me! Ha! Puns to hide the fear.

But, no, seriously, something is unsettling about this woman. She's one of those "nice" types of villains. She doesn't act malicious (for the most part) as she moves and speaks with a kind and caring smile. A smile that's fake as f**k, but at least she uses it to hide her heinous actions, making them seem not as bad as they would have been. Oh, Terra's still bad, don't get me wrong. But she could have done much worse. For instance, she could have killed Raine. But instead, she drugs them, making Raine still alive and well. Just...not without their core memories. It's sick and twisted, but at least it's drugging Raine instead of lobotomizing them, making Raine a shell of a person they once were.

Still, with how easily Terra could have crushed Luz without Amity's interference or how quickly Terra dealt with Kikimora and Princess, it is clear that Terra is NOT a person you want to mess with. She may try to act nice at first. But if you get on your bad side, pray that she'll show mercy to you.

Raine: And trust me, it's weird to consider what happened to Raine as merciful. Because, as I said, they're still the same Raine. They act caring enough to talk to Kikimora about her nerves, crack a few jokes, and still have stage fright when the center of attention. It's just their memories are changed, and that's almost worse than being held prisoner in...whatever the hell that coven brand wrapped them in. But, at the same time, it's a preferable position. Eda just needs to reach out and grab that part of Raine that still remembers who they are. We already see evidence that the effects of Terra's drug are possible to fight off and that their feelings for Eda are almost enough to do it. They still let Eda go after the fight, not wanting her to get caught and shedding a tear when she leaves. It shows a sign that the real Raine is still there. But, as is, they're a shadow of their former selves. And that idea is enough to break anyone's heart, including Eda's, who only leaves because she has no choice.

Yeesh, things got heavy again. Can we have another moment of levity?

Hooty and King’s Escape: Thank you.

Yeah, this was funny. Seeing these coven guards run away in fear of a float of Belos is just comedy that writes itself.

Amity Helping Luz: You love to see an awesome girlfriend in action.

Personally, I love that, despite her issues, Amity is still there for Luz and doesn't bring up the video until after the crisis is over. It shows that she understands a little something known as priorities, trusting that they'll talk about it when the time is right.

Luz and Amity vs Kikimora: But as cool as it is to see one awesome girlfriend in action, two is even better!

Seeing Luz and Amity work together in a fight is, ONCE AGAIN, everything a fan like me could want! The way they move in unison, come up with power-moves and hold each other's hands when things get too intense is...PERFECT! It's a perfect moment that goes on just long enough to make their fight against a well-trained witch and her dragon believable while still giving us that epic goodness.

Luz and Amity Talk: Unfortunately, the epicness has to come down sometime.

First, can we all appreciate that Amity never watched the video? Because I sure do. Amity all but crucified Luz for thinking she read Amity's diary. It makes sense how much Amity prioritizes privacy, so she wouldn't cross that line, no matter how badly she might want to. But that doesn't mean she won't confront Luz about it.

When Amity asks Luz about the video, she makes it clear she won't pry but still states that she can't help if Luz won't let her. It's a genuine moment of communication that not a lot of shows take advantage of. Most would let Luz keep the secret indefinitely, hurting Amity more by telling the truth after months of indirectly lying. And it makes me so happy that Luz came clean. Well, sort of. She does admit to Amity what happened with the portal but still hides how upsetting the whole ordeal is. When Amity confronts Luz, she looks away, almost about ready to cry. But when she turns back, Luz is smiling, almost as if to say, "Yeah, my life is beyond confusing at the moment, but I'm fine!" Except that she's not fine. She looks about ready to throw up from her anxieties at any second, with one bad day being all she needs to crack and crumble. But she doesn't tell Amity that. Instead, Luz tells Amity what she wanted to know, keeping a brave face for everything else. Amity could through it. We know she can. But ut for the moment, she'll let it pass. For now.

Belos’ Announcement: And from the wholesomeness, we go to the downright malice.

Now, this scene shows what makes Emperor Belos an effective main antagonist. Listen to how he announces the Day of Unity. We know it's bad, and our main cast knows it's bad, but the rest of the Boiling Isles doesn't. And it's all because Belos doesn't present the Day of Unity as something to be feared. He states it as a solution, saying that it will bring them all to a form of utopia. And, to provide a bit of trust to his community, he finally reveals what his face looks like, letting everyone know how badly wild magic may have scarred him and that he's willing to share that with his subjects. His speech and his face reveal are something that proves he's more than just a dictator. He's also a diplomat. One that knows how to work a crowd, hiding his malicious intentions behind nice words and grand gestures to distract them from who he really is. Something that real-life dictators do, and that's what makes Belos an effective threat. He seems plausible to happen.

“We’ll take it one day at a time”: This is a great way to end the episode. Everything is in a state where no one knows what to do or how to fix things. Raine is brainwashed, the Day of Unity is in a month, and Luz still doesn't know what to do with her mom. And yet, they end on this statement, "We'll take it one day at a time." There's a sense of hope to those words. Despite how bad things are now, our characters will get through it. They just need to take it slow and work through each problem as best as they can.

It's not a happy ending, but it's a hopeful one. And I couldn't have asked for a better way to end such a perfect episode...That is, if the episode was perfect.

WHAT I DISLIKED

Kikimora: Yeah...I didn't buy Kikimora wanting to leave the Emperor's Coven for a second. I honestly thought that with how heavy-handed Kikimora was acting, she was actually planning to pull a double-cross. But, no, she really was considering leaving. Which makes no sense. She nearly killed children just to get in Belos' good graces. I sincerely doubt her own family would have been enough to make her reconsider things, considering how quickly she chose against them the second Kikimora realized a promotion was possible. I guess there's no one better to use for an inevitable betrayal against Luz, meaning the real problem isn't how they wrote Kikimora in this episode. It's how they wrote her in the series. If the writers wanted her second thoughts to be believable, show Kikimora being somewhat objecting to ideas made by Belos instead of showing blind loyalty for him. Also, you know, DON'T HAVE HER ALMOST KILL CHILDREN! There is a spark of character development in how she now looks scared to be working for Belos, but her role in this episode still falls short...Even shorter than her.

A-OH! Got her! Haha...but seriously, the writers kind of fumbled this time around.

IN CONCLUSION

I'd say that "Follies at the Coven Day Parade" is an A-. Kikimora might not have been best utilized, but everything else works so well. The episode delivers on everything fans could ever want, presents new character and story developments, and shows why these characters and their relationships are so endearing. It's the best possible way to return to the new season, making me excited and terrified for what's to come next. And given how that's pretty much the theme of Season 2, I'd say "Follies at the Coven Day Parade" did its job right.

(Oh, and I also saw the new episode of Amphibia. It’s a solid mix of being wholesome, awesome, and hilarious. Anne’s parents are still the best, and Mr. X is as entertaining of a villain as he is a competent one. And the ending felt very ominous while leaving me curious to see what happens next. A definite A+ for sure…and, yes, this is how I’m reviewing both shows from now on. Because Disney just HAD to play them both back to back)

(Them sons of witches…)

#the owl house #the owl house spoilers #luz noceda #amity blight #willow park #toh kikimora #raine whispers #terra snap-dragon #raeda #lumity #what i thought about #the owl house review #and a quick review of amphibia #go to the bottom to see it #emperor belos

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cookinguptales · 2 years ago

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i wonder if guillermo himself is confused by his motivations this season. we’ve seen him question his life choices before - but each time, he’s only left for a short period of time, no more than a few weeks. maybe realising he’ll be apart from nandor for a much longer period of time (and staying in England for a reason we’re not yet privy to??) he told himself that he was over it - over those desires - until he believed it. after all, it would be painful to sustain that level of desire and codependency when it truly seems impossible for it to come to fruition, in a way it didn’t quite in the 12 years that came before. and we know guillermo doesn’t have the healthiest of coping mechanisms. might as well double down on the denial, just in a new way… but i also feel like it’s creeping back in now he’s back in the house. the best man stuff and baby colin, while believable, also seem like convenient excuses to stick around when he’s trying to justify it to his England self rather than his s3 self. i think the reason that “character development” happened off screen is because they’re going to dismantle it pretty quickly while (i hope) still keeping some of the changed dynamics between the vampire household. would it feel worse for that development to have happened over the course of the season only to be completely undermined in the last few episodes? idk but i’m very interested in the character undevelopment lmao. ultimately i love this season’s guillermo just as much as previous ones, but i understand the frustration also. i’m just desperate to know more about his time in England and while i understand why the writers seem to be keeping it quiet for now, i hope they don’t wait too many more episodes to reveal it. anyway thanks for coming to my tedtalk, sorry about this ridiculously long ramble, and keep doing what you’re doing - your content is great 💜

Honestly, I'm also hoping for character undevelopment for the petty reason that I don't want Guillermo to get healthier and less codependent and more normal. I want our boy to be fucked up! I love it when he's crazy. lmao

My thought process is similar to yours, tbh. If I'm operating under the assumption that the writers are honoring Guillermo's character (which I must do to keep sane lmao) then I think that his time in the UK would have been very difficult for him. He was just offered the thing he wanted more than anything else in the world just to have it snatched away from him, then he was trapped in a box for at least a week. He gets out only to be left with Nadja, the one member of the household that doesn't respect or like him much at all.

He doesn't know it's only going to be for a year. As far as he knows, this might be forever. He might be stuck in this foreign country away from his family forever. He might be stuck guarding a vampire doing vampire grunt work forever. He might never see Nandor again. I thought it was fascinating that in the show and in interviews, they don't seem to count that year as being part of Guillermo's tenure as Nandor's familiar. They say 12 years as a familiar in the show, just like they did before he left. In interviews, Harvey says 11 years a familiar, 1 a bodyguard, but that's still a total of 12.

So it's a year that he's really just in limbo. I can see him starting to think, y'know, what am I doing with my life?

And then if he finds a guy that's actually interested in him who's not gallivanting all over the United States with some family from Wisconsin, you know... Maybe that's not a bad thing, to try and move on.

(I still have reservations about Freddie because... like, this is WWDITS and normal people aren't exactly in large supply. But that's a worry for another day.)

And he thinks he's done it, maybe. He really does think he's over Nandor and the others and the household and everything. But now he's back and he's slowly falling right back into his old habits. And it's harder to tell himself that nothing has changed and these people don't care about him because they obviously do. Nandor has clearly changed during his time abroad, and he's being really quite kind to Guillermo, for him. He's supporting his anger. He's acting as an intermediary between him and the others. He's praising him. He's listening to him. He's letting Guillermo in, which I think is very weird for them both.

I think it was kind of an odd choice, setting up this idea that Guillermo met a guy abroad who changed him so much, but then they're not even going to show him to us until the end of the season. They're giving Guillermo so much time away from him, and it does seem like Guillermo is already backsliding. He's already finding reasons to stay. He's definitely still got that anger to him, but he seems to be putting it aside in favor of love.

Like he still has plenty of reason to want to stake Laszlo right here and now, but he's learning to work together with him for the sake of Baby Colin. (Seeing both of them dancing at Colin's performance was cute.) And he was upset at Nandor for not waiting for him, I think, but now the two of them are straight-up plotting together and it's very cute.

I feel like I'd love for Guillermo to work through some of his anger with the vampires rather than some character we've never seen before. He deserves to have them acknowledge him and his power and how much they've hurt him over the years. Nandor's already starting that journey, I think, though I think he's still struggling with the idea that he was one of the ones who hurt Guillermo the most...

idk. I do go back and forth with Guillermo a lot and it's been consuming me this past week. lmao. I have my own hopes for him, obviously, but it's hard to know where they're going with this or why. It's so strange that they decided to give both Guillermo and Nandor love interests that span an entire season while like... almost never showing them. I assume we'll learn more about them both eventually, but for now they're such non-entities and the relationships don't feel organic at all. I'm trying to reserve some faith in the writers but like. Yeah, it's all definitely weird and kind of confusing.

#replies #wwdits s4 spoilers #wwdits tag #nandermo tag

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starlightthroughbrokenglass · 3 years ago

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Zoscar Fic Recs

Since rqg is ending tomorrow and we’re trying to get our beloved podcast trending one more time before the final episode drops, I’ve decided to make a fic rec list of some of the fics I’ve read in the time I’ve been in the fandom. Obviously this is just a selection and there are many more amazing fics out there. (I had to really cut down the list because I have so many favourites!) But I wanted to spread some love and maybe someone will find a new fic they haven’t read yet. I’m gonna put the recs under the cut because it got long.

Answers by Flammenkobold (0.5k, rated G):

It's been a year since they saved the world, and Zolf still doesn't have an answer to what they are. Maybe he doesn't have to.

A million lights they flicker there by makesometime (1k, rated G):

“I had a thought.”

Zolf looks up at Oscar curiously from his side of the bed, setting the book closed and laying it on his chest. “Alright. You gonna tell me about it, you mysterious bugger?”

warm and sane by oakleaf_bearer (1.5k, rated G):

"You're staring, Zolf."

Zolf hummed. He was fully aware that he was staring, just as he was aware Wilde had caught him a full five minutes ago and had only brought it up now.

zolf and wilde reminisce over old times

set in 179 just after zolf and wilde's pre-dawn chat but before the breakfast

Pieces of me are pieces of you by makesometime (1.5k, rated G):

“There’s a lot of people.” Wilde agrees. “It’s still a little strange.”

“Yeah.” Zolf says, clutching up his hand even though they’re both wearing heavy mittens. It’s a bit of a struggle, but it’s nice. “Stay close.”

Wilde smiles, fond and surprised. “Alright, Zolf.”

Hopin’ That You See Me by ADreamIsASoftPlaceToLand (2k, rated G):

It was only a matter of time.

In the interest of honesty by limeblood (2k, rated G):

'“There are things I’m not good at, not really, not honestly,” Oscar whispered into the dark, the fear in his voice matched by certainty. “But I want to be honest with you. And I’m worried the honest truth won’t be enough and I don’t know what I’ll do then.”'

After the fireside chats in RQG 181, Zolf and Wilde go back to their own tent to clear the air

The Important Questions by Angel Ascending (Angel_in_ink) (2k, rated G):

“I have questions,” Wilde says, because of course he does. Who wouldn’t?

“Go on.” Zolf hopes he doesn’t sound as tired as he feels. The man has a right to his answers, even if all Zolf wants to do is sleep, now that the worst of things is over.

At Your Convenience by HoloXam (2.5k, rated G):

While [Zolf] waits for the eggs to cook, he leans back against Wilde. “Food in a minute,” he says. Wilde hums and turns his head, so his cheek now rests against Zolf's scalp.

“This is probably why people think we're a couple,” Wilde says, arms snaking their way around Zolf's neck.

“They—” Zolf swallows. “People know about this part?”

“Maybe,” Wilde says.

In which Zolf cooks and Wilde tries to save face with a pun.

out of nothing and into more by oakleaf_bearer (3k, rated G):

The door slammed open as Wilde stumbled into their small safehouse, blood running down his face. Zolf was on his feet in a heartbeat, arms already outstretched for him even as Wilde fell. It was clumsy to catch him, their nearly two foot height difference sending Zolf staggering as he lowered Wilde to the floor.

my take on wilde's scar and zolf's magic

but i got love!! by shofics (3.5k, rated T):

After the war ends, Zolf & Wilde stay together. They don’t need to have a word for why. Right? ...Right? Otherwise known as: two asexuals with varying opinions on sex and romance navigate a relationship they were too stubborn and awkward to understand when it started.

“I followed you all the way around the gods damned globe!” Zolf bursts out. “We fought literal monsters together for almost two years! I pulled your bleedin’ *corpse* off a bit of plankin’ and we had a lovely chat in the astral plane about your worth as a sentient being!”

“So we trauma-bonded, good for us! Baring our souls to one another-“ Wilde makes an ungainly grab for the pen, and Zolf holds it out of his reach.

“It’s like a bloody Campbell novel.” Zolf gives Wilde a helpless look. “And you don’t, you don’t even care if I kiss you?”

Scared of the Question, Scared of the Answer by ADreamIsASoftPlaceToLand (3.5k, rated G):

He thinks for a moment, thinking of Azu and Kiko, of Cel and Barnes, and how they’ve been dancing around each other for the last couple of weeks. It’s a delicate game, testing the waters and quirking eyebrows and a whole lot of communication through body language that’s never meant anything to Zolf. “I dunno… Don’t couples use like… Pet names? We could. Try that,” Zolf feels his cheeks heat instantly. “That’s stupid, I-“

“Oh, no,” Wilde interrupts, and Zolf already hates the grin spreading across his features. “I think that’s a rather splendid idea, really."

Catching On by knifemartin (Wonderfully_Wandering_Alone) (4k, rated G):

He was reluctant to believe it at first, but it's undoubtably a cold when it hits. Wilde hates being sick. It means less time to ge things done and more relying on others.

There will come a poet whose weapon is His word by oscarlovesthesea (4.5k, rated T):

Going to cast prestidigitation is more instinct than anything else at this point, so when he does and is only met with a cold, hard wall instead of the usual warm flood of magic, it takes him a moment to realise what is wrong. And then he does, and he stares back at his shaved head and his dark eyes back in the mirror and his chest tightens until he can’t breathe, his lungs filling with bitterness and grief as a single tear, unprompted, starts rolling down his cheek.

Reflections on Oscar Wilde's anti-magic cuffs.

ah, but i’m singing like a bird ‘bout it now by shofics (5.5k, rated G):

“I just mean I won’t force you to come with me, Zolf,” Wilde says. He feels Zolf’s fingers still, and even he, who in another life could have been famous for his words alone, cannot put a name to the emotion that that causes to rise in his heart.

After a moment, Zolf’s fingers begin to move again. “Where you’re goin’ I’m goin’,” he says gruffly, and Wilde can feel the nervousness in it, but he says it with such conviction, such quiet simplicity, like it’s a fact of nature; trees are green, water flows downhill, and Zolf and Wilde will stay together. “‘S my choice.”

Take heart, fair days will shine; take any heart, take mine by makesometime (5.5k, rated G):

Long ago he learnt to cast without song, to use witticisms and oration to bring forth his ideas. He is so comfortable with that technique that he senses it becoming his norm now, in this world lacking in fear and battle. And that would be fine, he thinks, were he not half convinced it would mean he never sings again.

Oscar's journey back to the joy of song and singing through the medium of amateur dramatics and adorable children.

Growing Fonder by knifemartin (Wonderfully_Wandering_Alone) (6.5k, rated G):

It starts innocently with Sweetheart, but Wilde realises he won't let it stop there, no matter what Zolf thinks of it all.

some kind of miracle by escherzo (8k, rated T):

“Did you find what you were looking for?” Wilde asks finally, into the stillness of the night, when he had been quiet so long Zolf half-thought he was already asleep.

“Yeah,” Zolf says, finding that his voice comes out hoarse. “I think so.”

Unity by knifemartin (Wonderfully_Wandering_Alone) (8k, rated G):

Shofic's postcanon weddings, but expanded

some kind of miraculous bind by shofics (10.5k, rated T):

After it all, Zolf and Wilde get married. It takes them a minute to get there, though.

”Doesn’t it feel good to imagine leaving all those infuriating, self-centred bastards in their horrible fancy clothes just dripping? Cold water in their trousers, no more smug looks-“ he stops. “Zolf, I think I finally understand you.”

Zolf snorts. “Glad to hear you’ve made it.”

“You know me darling, fashionably late or nothing,” Wilde says, eyes twinkling. “If I remember correctly we had to take a detour through the Northern Wastes, forgive me if I’m arriving a bit behind schedule.”

Darling. He’s been doing that a lot recently. Zolf hasn’t commented on it, but not because he doesn’t want to.

baby you’re my holy ghost (and i need you close, come back to me) by shofics (13k, rated T):

[I’m not a saint, but do I have to be?]

“So incredibly an arse more like,” Zolf says huffily, and Wilde can’t help but lose it at that, exploding into merry peals of helpless laughter that ring over the freezing cliff. Zolf stares at him indignantly for half a second, and then he breaks too, and Wilde clutches his hands as they catch each other’s eyes and lose it all over again; two grown men giggling like children, helpless and manic with all they’ve seen, sitting together at the darkening edge of the world and holding each other like they might either fall off or fall apart if they let go.

“Oh, gods,” Wilde says breathlessly, dizzy from laughing, “you brought me back from the dead by promising me a vacation...”

(In which Wilde learns what he wants, and together they find out how to ask for it.)

Northern Star by knifemartin (Wonderfully_Wandering_Alone) (13.5k, not rated):

The world has changed, and there's no going back. Zolf just needs to learn how to move forwards instead, and who's worth taking with him. Or, Zolf finds himself, Wilde finds Zolf, and they figure out the rest together.

Seven Days by Miri1984 (14.5k, rated M):

Oscar Wilde let someone get too close to him and paid the price. He's definitely not doing that again. Nope. Not ever. Nosirree.

Across The Waves by oscarlovesthesea (26k, rated G):

“I don’t know who I am without my work, anymore," Wilde exhales, "and I don’t – I don’t know how to find out. We saved the world, and so much of it I’ve never seen as myself, just as whatever purpose I was fulfilling there.” Zolf can feel him breathe deeply next to him. He’s staring into the distance, brow furrowed.

“You could do that now,” he suggests, and he isn’t sure why he says it, or what he’s trying to achieve by it. “Travel, I mean. See the world, or whatever.”

“Yes, I could,” Wilde says slowly. Then he adds, like the words are spilling out of him, “You could come with me, if you wanted.”

Zolf breathes in, as slow as he can. He’d known, from the moment they’d started talking, that this is where they might end up, and still the proposal takes him by surprise.

“You don’t have to,” Wilde is saying over the drumming in Zolf’s chest, “but you said you didn’t know what to do, so…”

“I’d like that,” he blurts out, taking himself by surprise with the certainty of it. “I think I’d like that.”

A story about traveling, and healing, and finding a home.

see the worth by starstrung (26.5k, rated E):

Wilde goes to stay at a lighthouse temple of Poseidon to heal from his curse. He's not expecting to fall for the lighthouse's grief-stricken keeper.

Five Nights (series) by butterflymind (35.5k, rated G):

Five nights in six months, somewhere in Japan.

He had promised Oscar somewhere by the sea to read his terrible reviews.

Home is where the heart is. And if you're lucky, the rest of you makes it back as well.

Midnights in October by knifemartin (Wonderfully_Wandering_Alone) (45k, rated G):

With his magic gone and his team lost, Wilde returns to the only other person he knows he can trust. Sometimes the only way out is through, even when that seems impossible too.

#rusty quill gaming #rqg #zoscar #zolf smith #rqg oscar wilde #fic recs #starlight talks

47 notes · View notes

k-s-morgan · 4 years ago

Text

The Evolution of Will Graham’s Darkness

This meta is mostly written for new viewers who find themselves confused by Will as a character. I’ll incorporate some bits of analysis I’ve written before into it. Let’s start with a thesis of a sort: Will is a dark character who had this darkness from the very start, even before his encounter with Hannibal: he was terrified and disgusted with it, but after meeting Hannibal, slowly, he began to embrace himself, getting bolder and bolder in his violence.

**Before the show**

Will initially tried to get into the FBI but he didn’t pass the tests. It’s revealed in E1 of S1 when he’s ambushed by Beverly.

Beverly: Never been an F.B.I. Agent?

Will: Strict screening procedures.

Beverly: Detects instability. You’re unstable?

At the same time, Will became a police officer, working in the Homicide department. These decisions show that he's been stubbornly and rather hopelessly drawn to darkness, seeking ways to interact with it while remaining on the side of law. However, he had to leave the police, too, because he was incapable of pulling the trigger even when his life depended on it. He preferred to allow himself to get stabbed rather than to fight back and kill someone, which points to him having very serious issues with his violence. He knew that once the door in him opens, it might not close again, that if he kills or harms another person, he might be unable to stop (this is proven when he shoots Hobbs and then immediately tries to kill Stammets).

And still, Will chooses to stay close to darkness, only in safer ways. He becomes a teacher in the FBI Academy, letting himself delve into the ugliest cases from a theoretical perspective. This constant pull and struggle leave Will lonely and hostile to everyone. He avoids eye contact with people; Jack’s first impression of him was that he’s rude and arrogant (when they clashed about the name of the museum). Will is rude and haughty with his students, too – but more about it later. Alana refuses to stay alone in the room with him, thinking his instability is too fascinating and she might want to dissect it. Will has no friends; he lives in isolation with his dogs, someone who would never judge him. There are a lot of rumors about him going around, and most people don’t like him (based on Price’s and Zeller’s initial reactions as well as their later conversations on this topic). Will is lonely and pretty miserable.

The first real words we hear from Will are:

Will: Everyone has thought about killing someone.

It is very demonstrative of his personality. We also get evidence right here that Will is drawn to darkness primarily, not to the idea of saving lives (although the latter helps him feel better about his urges). He delves into the minds of killers even when he isn’t involved in the investigation. He had no other reason to explore the Marlows’ murder like he did at the start of the episode, when he was simply teaching students. It’s proof that he willingly craves contact with violent and disturbed minds — it’s not like he actually tries to solve this case for real, he just imagined himself there.

Will’s first conversation with Hannibal speaks volumes about who he is — because Hannibal senses it seconds after meeting him.

Hannibal: Do you have trouble with taste?

Will: My thoughts are often not tasty.

Hannibal: Nor mine. No effective barriers.

Will: I make forts.

This exchange has Will confess that his thoughts are often dark and that he dislikes it. To hold this darkness at bay, he literally builds forts around it, not letting it spread to other parts of his mind.

Hannibal: Your values and decency are present yet shocked at your associations, appalled at your dreams. No forts in the bone arena of your skull for things you love.

Hannibal almost directly calls Will out on his struggle with his inner darkness. He’s saying that he sees it, that he knows it’s there, in Will, in his mind, and Will is very disturbed by this — because Hannibal is right. The script even explicitly backs it up:

Hannibal has just described Will Graham to a letter.

Will is immediately wary and hostile, and he ends the conversation with snappy,

Will: Please don’t psychoanalyze me. You won’t like me when I’m psychoanalyzed.

What does it mean? It’s simple: Will assumes that Hannibal is a typical psychiatrist who wants to dissect him, so he says that once it happens, Hannibal won’t like what he finds (darkness and ugliness Will carries inside).

His hostility to Hannibal lasts up until the moment when Hannibal acknowledges him as a predator and shows approval of it. This is how it happens: Hannibal tries to subtly tell him that it’s all right to be who he is, hinting that they are the same.

Hannibal: You and I are just alike. Problem free. Nothing about us to feel horrible about.

He’s obviously talking about their darkness, but Will doesn’t react, so Hannibal continues. He tells him that Jack views him as a fragile tea cup, and Will genuinely laughs, amused by this (which is also very telling). Then Hannibal says:

Hannibal: [I see you as the] mongoose I want under the house when the snakes slither by.

Will grows quiet after this, and then his interactions with Hannibal become much more relaxed. Will takes him to search the property and even bothers to explain how they reached their conclusions and what they are about to do. Him grumbling, “What are you smiling at?” shows a much higher level of familiarity they now share. Something in Hannibal’s words made Will open up a bit, and everything indicates that it’s the acknowledgement of his predatory nature that played its part in it.

Will kills Hobbs by shooting him 10 times. This is his first kill, one he’s been trying to avoid for so long, ever since his police work. It’s not surprising that Hobbs haunts him later because his death became a breaking point for Will. A door did open in him, and he was unable to close it again.

In E2, Will is distraught. But first, we get a glimpse into how rude and insensitive he generally is. Look at how he treats his students. He tersely thanks them for clapping and then snaps for them to stop. He devises a little malicious test for them.

Will: It’s [Hobbs’] resignation letter. Anybody see the clue?

A few hands go into the air. Will ignores them.

Will: There isn’t one.

He looks so long-suffering with them, as if they are idiots. The fact that he asks a question, waits for people to think and raise their hands, and only then he tells them there is actually no answer is petty at best. He also admits to Jack that he doesn’t consider lessons socialization because he doesn’t have to actually talk to students, he talks at them. Not good for a teacher or even for a person who works with other people like this.

But Will has more serious problems. He keeps imagining Hobbs, and after his messy kill, Jack becomes worried about him. He makes Will go visit Hannibal for one-time evaluation. Will is naturally not fond of the idea, but he and Hannibal have a pretty personal talk. Hannibal ends it with an even more explicit hint at Will’s own darkness:

Hannibal: And Will… the mirrors in your mind can reflect the best of yourself, not the worst of someone else.

Hannibal is talking about Will’s personal brand of violence again. He’s trying to tell him that it’s fine to be a murderer in every way he can, that Will’s darkness might be the best part of him. He also gives him a fake official approval to work in the field, showing that Will can trust him. But their obligatory session ends and Will leaves — only to return after he tries to kill Stammets and misses (their talk about it was cut from the episode but is echoed in the conversation below).

Hannibal: [You are here to] prove that sprig of zest you feel is from saving Abigail, not killing her dad.

Will: I didn't feel a sprig of zest when I shot Eldon Stammets.

Hannibal: You didn't kill Eldon Stammets.

Will: I thought about it. I'm still not entirely sure that wasn't my intention when pulling the trigger.

This is a huge evidence of Will struggling with his violence. It proves that he had it before becoming actively involved with Hannibal — all Hannibal did was recognize it and coax it to come to the surface. Will has always been like this, and after finally killing a person, he found himself unable to stop because he liked the feeling too much.

Hannibal: It wasn't the act of killing Hobbs that got you down, was it? Did you really feel so bad because killing him felt so good?*

Will: I liked killing Hobbs.

Hannibal is pleased to receive the confirmation of what he sensed in Will. Seeing that Will is terrified about his own confession, he comforts him.

Hannibal: Killing must feel good to God, too. He does it all the time, and are we not created in his image?

Let’s be honest, every sane person would have run for the hills after hearing this. Hannibal literally justifies the fact that Will liked murder by drawing a parallel with God. That’s such a narcissistic, serial killer thing to do, and yet Will welcomes it with open arms. He’s happy to find someone who doesn’t think he’s a monster — he’s relieved to be able to finally discuss his darkest impulses freely. This is the reason why Will started coming back to see Hannibal on a constant basis, to Jack’s surprise.

The next huge proof of Will’s ever-present darkness is found in E5 (actually, every episode has some bits, but I’ll cover only the major ones). The Angel Maker, a killer-of-the-week, has a unique gift of being able to see if a person is good or evil. First, Hannibal tries to tell Will that he doesn’t have to self-destruct because of his darkness like he’s been doing.

Hannibal: Angel Maker will be destroyed by what’s happening inside his head. You don’t have to be.

When Angel Maker dies, Will suddenly sees himself through his eyes. And he sees a demon. He sees himself as evil. It proves that Will’s darkness is inherent since he hasn’t done anything really bad at this point. It also proves that he’s perfectly aware of who he is and the darkness he has. He has the following conversation with the imagined Angel Maker.

Angel Maker: I see what you are.

Will: What do you see?

Angel Maker: Inside. I can bring it out of you.

Will: Not all the way out.

So, Will acknowledges that his darkness is rooted so deeply inside him, it can’t even be extracted fully. It’s an inseparable part of him.

Will is shown admiring the Ripper’s murders, calling them elegant and referring to them as art. Meanwhile, he’s trying to half-heartedly flirt with Alana, but they don’t have a meaningful connection because Will can’t be happy with a person who doesn’t know him. He wants to be normal but he just isn’t. If you’re interested in my opinion about their relationship, it’s here.

Will’s next morally gray action happens when he agrees to cover murder for Hannibal and Abigail in E9. He agrees quickly and then he’s shown being fiercely devoted to it. He doesn’t seem to care that Abigail killed someone much — in fact, he basically threatens Freddie, another person who sees him for who he is, to make her write a book favorable toward Abigail.

In E13, Hannibal says what he wants from Will directly.

Hannibal: If you followed the urges you kept down for so long, cultivated them as the inspirations they are, you’d become someone other than yourself.

Will remembers this phrase (he later throws it back into Hannibal’s face), but for now, he’s too angry and bitter to listen.

Will is healthy again and he struggles with realization that Hannibal betrayed him. He starts a dark game of his own: he pretends he’s vulnerable, moving Alana to tears in the process, and asks Hannibal for help. He’s still drawn to him, but he also wants to take him down — for himself and for Abigail.

In E1, Hannibal tells Will the purpose of all their past meetings, how they were aimed at helping Will Become.

Hannibal: Our conversations, Will, were only ever about you opening your eyes to the truth of who you are.

Alana tries to hypnotize Will to help him remember what happened.

Alana: Imagine yourself in a safe and relaxing place... safe and secure here, safe to relax completely...

What does Will imagine? He sees Hannibal’s room and them sitting at the murder table together. He’s freaked out by it, but it proves how twisted his perception is: regardless of the betrayal, a part of him understands that Hannibal is the only person who’s ready to accept him, and he feels safe with him. @bloodsmile wrote a great meta about it here.

Will coldly manipulates Beverly, refusing to help her save lives unless she helps him as well. In E5, he engages in yet another manipulation. He gets Matthew Brown to try to kill Hannibal. This is the first premeditated murder attempt Will is responsible for. That is why we see him growing horns, that is why he sees a sink full of blood — his darkness starts progressing in noticeable ways. By E7, Will has figured out that Hannibal really did everything to open his eyes to the truth of who he is and that he wants to be his friend, but as he still wants revenge, he decides to honey-trap him with Jack.

In E8, Will is dealing with his complex feelings for Hannibal and explores his darkness further. He admits that Hannibal made him feel less alone and that he doesn’t hate him, no matter what; that he has no idea what he feels for him. Then Will tries to kill Ingram in cold blood as revenge for Peter. He asks him to pick up the hammer, indicating that he plans for the murder to look like self-defense. Hannibal tries to talk him out of it, but Will still pulls the trigger. It’s by a miraculous accident that Hannibal manages to stop him. This is the second conscious murder attempt by Will.

In E9, Will has a dream about Hannibal, love, and darkness.

Dream Hannibal: Must I denounce myself as a monster while you still refuse to see the one growing inside you?

Meaning: Will is fully aware of both the presence of this monster inside him and his attempts to ignore it since this is his dream.

Dream Hannibal: No one can be fully aware of another human being unless we love them. By that love we see potential in our beloved. Through that love we allow our beloved to see their potential. Expressing that love, our beloved's potential comes true.

So, a part of Will realizes that Hannibal loves him, and that he really wants him to Become, to realize all his potential.

Will is shown as feeling bitter at Hannibal for not letting him kill Ingram.

Will: I regret what I did in the stables.

Hannibal (thinking Will means murder attempt): Then you were lucky I was there.

Will: Being lucky isn't the same as making a mistake. Mistake was allowing you to stop me.

Hannibal: So it’s not pulling the trigger that you regret. It’s not pulling it effectively.

Will: That would be more accurate.

Hannibal: I want you to close your eyes, Will, and imagine a version of events you wouldn't have regretted.

Will obeys, and he sees himself murdering Ingram. It proves that every word he says to Hannibal is true — he really does regret not killing him. But there is an even creepier dialogue ahead.

Hannibal: What did you see?

Will: A missed opportunity… to feel like I felt when I killed Garret Jacob Hobbs. To feel like I felt when I thought I killed you … a quiet sense of power.

This is disturbing. It proves once again that Will isn’t just a righteous killer, he enjoys the act of murder itself, and like many serial killers, he craves the feeling of power that comes with it.

He and Hannibal talk about the intimacy of murder, how Will was hiding behind a gun when he tried to kill Hannibal back in E5. Will takes note of it. Hannibal, remembering Will’s complaint about a missed opportunity, sends Randall to him as a gift. When Randall breaks into Will’s house, Will is shown thinking and then deliberately throwing the gun away. He doesn’t want to hide this time — he attacks Randall with his bare hands. This isn’t about self-defense or justice, this is about Will trying to experience a more intimate kind of murder. He beats Randall up until he’s incapacitated and then he snaps his neck, even though there was no reason to do it. He could easily call Jack and have Randall arrested at this point (since he was barely conscious and not fighting back). This could help him in his plan to catch Hannibal. But Will isn’t particularly concerned about it, he’s more interested in realizing his darkness.

He takes the body to Hannibal. This moment got deleted, but Will actually had to stick a note to it:

A piece of paper is pinned to his chest. On it is written: "Return to Sender."

Which excellently shows Will’s dark humor. He laughs with Hannibal a little as they talk about murder right above the corpse. Then Hannibal is treating his hands, and he says:

Hannibal: Stay with me.

Will: Where else would I go?

Nowhere — because Will understands that Hannibal is the only person who can understand his darkness and accept him for who he is.

Will: I've never felt more alive than when I was killing him.

This is, once again, huge. Will is a murderer who can get dangerously high on the act. The moment when he felt most alive is the moment when he took a life from another person — and he was vicious about it. Will is very, very dark in these scenes — and it’s going to get worse.

Will mutilates the body and places it in the museum. He keeps Randall’s suit in his house as a trophy, and he keeps his butchered parts of meat in his fridge. In the following discussion, Will confirms that he enjoyed doing all that. When Hannibal suggests that Randall’s killer felt disdain for him in front of Jack, Will disagrees.

Will: He isn't mocking him. This isn't disdain. He's commemorating him.

Hannibal: This killer has no fear for the consequences of what he's done.

Will: No guilt.

Then Will retreats into his mind to talk to Randall’s corpse.

Will: Hello again.

Randall: Come closer … Can you see you?

Will: Clearer and clearer.

This proves Will’s honesty in all his discussions with Hannibal. He really is exploring his violence, not just pretending to do it, coming to the realization of what kind of monster he is.

Will: You forced me to kill you.

Randall: I didn't force you to enjoy it.

This takes place in Will’s head, so every word is genuine.

Will: I gave you what you want. This is who you are. What you feel finally matches the reality of what I see.

Randall: This is my becoming. And yours.

Will shakes his head, this is not his becoming.

Will: This is my design.

So, what do we have here? Will calls murder, mutilation, and storage of Randall’s meat his design. It’s not his Becoming, not yet, Will isn’t ready to fully embrace himself, but this is a start. He understands his design now.

In the same E10, Will attacks Freddie when she discovered his trophies. We know he didn’t kill her, but would he have done it if she hadn’t called Jack? We can only guess. Will sure took his chance to be creepy and physically violent with her. At the end of the episode, he brought Randall’s meat to Hannibal and they cooked as well as ate it together. This was not about getting Hannibal to trust him. Hannibal already did, especially after thinking Will killed Freddie, so there was simply no need for it. Bryan Fuller confirmed Jack had no idea this happened, so Will was acting on his own, out of his genuine curiosity. This is where he willingly became a cannibal.

In E11, Will dreams of burning fake Freddie and hears himself screaming. It’s easy to interpret this dream: he feels guilty for betraying Hannibal. Alana comes by and Will is being deliberately creepy again. He gives her a gun for protection, but later, it almost becomes her undoing. Will is equally creepy during the funeral. He enjoys being dark, and he feels free to act like this because technically, he has an excuse.

In E12, Will is freshly angry at Hannibal. He fantasizes about murdering Hannibal in the most violent way possible. Then he makes three deals. The first one is with Mason: they agree to kill Hannibal together. The second one is with Hannibal: they tentatively agree to target Mason together. The third one is with Jack: they agree that when Hannibal tries to kill Mason, Will is going to arrest him. Will goes with his and Mason’s plan at first. Hannibal is kidnapped and presented in front of Will just like in his fantasy. But instead of acting on it, Will chooses Hannibal and frees him, getting all Mason’s people killed in the process. Later, he watches Hannibal mutilate Mason, approach him to kill him, and snap his neck. He does nothing: he ignores his deal with Jack completely and covers for Hannibal. Yet another proof that Will is siding with Hannibal more and more, and that his initial honey-trapping plan is almost a formality at this point. At the end of the episode, Will offers Hannibal to kill Jack.

In E13, Hannibal and Will are getting ready to kill Jack while Will and Jack are getting ready to arrest Hannibal. Will doesn’t seem to know on whose side he is until the end. At the same time, he lies to Jack about where the attack is supposed to take place. He helps Hannibal burn all evidence, even though he could have easily preserved some of it to use it later. He burns the evidence related to himself as well. Will doesn’t take Hannibal’s chance to run away before dinner, but he does hesitate and wonder about it. When the final moment comes, he calls Hannibal to warn him — he chooses him above everyone. Justice for Abigail, justice for himself, the desire to save other people — none of it matters to Will now. He made his choice, he chose his side, but he did it too late. When he goes to Hannibal’s house, Alana tells him that Jack is still inside, and Will takes out his gun. He doesn’t even try to point it at Hannibal. When Hannibal accuses him of lying, Will implies that he’s wrong.

Hannibal: I gave you a rare gift… But you didn't want it.

Will isn't so definitive.

Will: Didn't I?

Because yes, Will wanted it. He was ready to accept it. But he did so too late.

Will’s thoughts are only about Hannibal and Abigail. He breaks into Hannibal’s empty house and sits there in silence. When Alana comes to find him and tries to talk to him, he coldly sends her away. He’s repairing a boat to go after Hannibal. When Jack comes to him to ask about his motivations, Will is very open — he doesn’t care about hiding any more.

Jack: Do you remember when you decided to call Hannibal?

Will: I wasn't decided when I called him. I just called him. I deliberated while the phone rang. I decided when I heard his voice.

Jack: You told him we knew.

Will: I told him to leave. Because I wanted him to run.

Jack: Why?

Will: Because he was my friend. And because I wanted to run away with him.

In Italy, Will is full of regret over his actions. He blames himself for what happened, admonishes himself for lying to Hannibal. E2 shows his state of mind perfectly – Hannibal is his everything and he admits he wants to be with him. He doesn’t care about justice at all.

Will: I do feel closer to Hannibal here. God only knows where I would be without him … He left [me] his broken heart. He misses [me]. [I] still want to go to him? Yes.

He admires the corpse twisted into a heart, touching it and then lying at the place where it was located. He intimidates Pazzi who tries to talk sense into him and indicates that he’s not here to catch Hannibal.

Will: You couldn't catch him when he was just a kid, what makes you think you're going to catch him now?

Pazzi: You.

A small, polite scoff from Will, unable to take his eyes off the small stairwell to the catacombs.

Will: What makes you think I want to catch him?

Later:

Will: You shouldn't be down here alone.

Pazzi: I’m not alone. I'm with you.

Will: You don’t know whose side I’m on.

Pazzi stares at Will, cautious.

Pazzi: What are you going to do when you find him? Your Il Mostro?

Will: I'm curious about that myself.

Pazzi: You're already dead, aren't you?

Other people realize how dark Will is, too.

Then we move toward Will’s trip to Lithuania in E3. His reverent attitude to Hannibal begins to change once he meets Chiyoh, but he admits the following:

Will: I’ve never known myself as well as I know myself when I’m with him.

Will learns that Chiyoh has been staying here for all these years because she doesn’t want to kill another person. He notes that they can’t be sure whether her prisoner really killed Mischa because Hannibal is the only person who knows the truth. Despite all this, Will sets Chiyoh up to kill or be killed, releasing her prisoner secretly. Chiyoh rightfully accuses him of it:

Chiyoh: You said Hannibal was curious if I would kill. You were curious, too.

He was, if he is honest with himself.

What Will did was cruel and violent. Hannibal just left Chiyoh be, he openly and boldly risked her life, not caring about her safety or about whether her tortured prisoner deserves this. Will stays behind to make the body into art in Hannibal’s style, in accordance with his own design from when he killed Randall. This Will is dark and confident, and very in touch with his dark side. He dreams of killing Chiyoh and keeps asking her whether she saw what a monster she was, unable to accept the idea that only he has real darkness while Chiyoh doesn’t and that murder didn’t make her feel good. He repeats to Jack that a part of him will always want to be with Hannibal. Sadly, he then sees Bedelia as his replacement, grows even bitterer, and tries to attack Hannibal with the knife.

In E7, Will bites into Cordell’s cheek and tears a piece of meat out of it. Then he looks at Hannibal to see his reaction, waiting for his pride. He shows zero reaction to the news that Jack is alive — he doesn’t care about it. He rebukes Alana and shows that he still sees himself and Hannibal as a team, referring to them as “we”.

Will: You helped Mason Verger find us.

Alana: I helped Mason find Hannibal. We followed Bâtard-Montrachet when we should have just followed you.

Will: Almost as ugly as what Mason wants to do to us is the fact that he can do it with the tacit agreement of people sworn to uphold the law.

Alana: I was trying to get to Hannibal before you. I knew you couldn't stop yourself. So I had to try.

Will: By facilitating torture and death.

Alana: I can abide the thought of Hannibal tortured, not necessarily to death. I'd say he has it coming, wouldn't you? Or maybe you wouldn't.

Alana can no longer deny Will’s twisted morals. Will tries to push Alana to a darker side, manipulating her into releasing Hannibal, by telling her almost exactly what he and Hannibal were discussing in S2.

Will: Then you have to evolve, Alana. You have to spill blood. By your own hand or someone else's.

After the escape, Hannibal says the words that define Will perfectly:

Hannibal: You delight in wickedness and then berate yourself for the delight.

This is exactly what Will does — he acts on his darkness again and again, but then he gets scared and makes two steps back. He’s not ready to fully let go of the idea of a normal life yet.

Will sends Hannibal away. When Jack arrives, Will doesn’t even bother to pretend he tried to arrest him — he just says that Hannibal is gone. Jack clearly has zero trust in him at this point since he sends people to break into Will’s house without asking his permission. Will has completely discredited himself, proving himself as someone dark and twisted.

But Hannibal gives himself up and 3 years pass. After the epic Europe failure and his new insecurities, Will tries to retreat again. He decides to try being normal one more time, despite his previous failures at suppressing his darkness and his feelings for Hannibal. So he marries Molly, and it goes as well as expected. Their relationship is shown as weak from the start. The first time we see them, they are apart: Molly and Walter have gone fishing, which is what Will loves and dreamed of sharing with Abigail, yet he stays behind. He didn't let go of the past. He subtly manipulates Jack into talking Molly into urging him to come join the investigation — he deliberately leaves them alone under a weak excuse, knowing very well what Jack is about to do. Will is bored with his normal life and he misses Hannibal, even if he isn’t ready to fully admit it yet.

His treatment of Molly deserves a separate mention: this is the woman he lies to through his teeth, the woman whose “I love you” he doesn’t bother to return and who he doesn’t want to interact with the second she raises the topic he finds personally uncomfortable, someone he leaves her at the first opportunity. He never told her the truth about himself. The way Molly tries to joke about him having a criminal mind proves that she knows nothing of Will's dark struggles, and the way Will immediately shuts down demonstrates their incompatibility and his unwillingness to be honest and open with her.

On the very first day, Will demands to see Hannibal, lying about having to restore his mindset. We know it’s a lie because we’ve just seen him reconstruct Francis’ murder perfectly. He just wanted to see him because he missed him, and both Hannibal and later Bedelia call him out on it.

E9:

Hannibal: You just came here to look at me. Came to get the old scent again. Why don't you just smell yourself?

E10:

Bedelia: Have you been to see him?

Will: Yes.

Bedelia: Haven't learned anything, have you? Or did you just miss him that much?

This is what Hannibal says about Will’s marriage — and another reference to his darkness:

Hannibal: How did you choose yours? Readymade wife and child to serve your needs. A stepson or daughter – (off his look) – a stepson absolves you of any biological blame. You know better than to breed. Can’t pass on those terrible traits you fear the most.

This is very accurate and Will doesn’t bother to deny it. He’s more concerned about stalking Bedelia and asking her about her relationship with Hannibal than anything else. He makes zero efforts to preserve his family, which shows how irrelevant they are to him. This makes him a very cold and cruel person. Also, the way he acts with Bedelia is very different from how he acts with others. With her, he can be himself. He’s dark, relatively confident, and dangerous — which is likely why he keeps coming back to her. With others, he still puts on a rather meek mask.

There is quite a solid idea that a part of Will knew Hannibal might target Molly and Walter and send Francis after them (it’s up to interpretation, though). Hannibal gives Will very clear hints.

Will: Tell me who [the killer] is.

Hannibal: I don’t know who he is. When you close your eyes, Will... is that your family you see?

[Will scoffs at this.]

Will: Do you know who they are?

Hannibal: Yes.

Will: And you're willing to let them die.

Hannibal: They're not my family, Will. And I'm not letting them die. You are.

These are huge hints, and since Will is supposed to be an excellent profiler — more than that, a profiler who understands Hannibal intimately, it’s strange that he didn’t even suspect anything. Maybe a part of him subconsciously wanted proof that Hannibal is in love with him — since he goes to Bedelia with his question right after the attack. Maybe he wanted reassurance that the passion is still there. Maybe he even wanted an excuse to abandon Molly and Walter (and he does it very easily an episode later).

Ultimately, Will seems genuinely infuriated by the attack, but it’s possible that “the enemy inside him” secretly hoped for such outcome. He spends about a minute being truly angry at Hannibal — then he becomes concerned that he’s competing with Francis for Hannibal’s attention, which underlines the irrelevance of his family to him once more. When talking to Walter, Will doesn’t try to hug him or actually comfort him. They are like strangers, and Will shows resentment about having to explain some facts about himself to Walter later.

Will: He read about me in a Freddie Lounds article. I had to justify myself to an eleven year old.

Not “to my son”, but an indifferent and impersonal “11 year old”. Another reminder that Will is a cold person.

This attack made Will realize Hannibal is in love with him, and it finally started the process of his Becoming. Will is shown as full of resentment toward Jack and Alana. He callously sets up Chilton, an innocent person, for torture and death in E12. He explicitly says that he did it deliberately and doesn’t regret it.

Will: Damn if I'll feel … The divine punishment of the sinner mirrors the sin being punished. Chilton languished unrecognized until Hannibal the Cannibal. He wanted the world to know his face.

Bedelia: Now he doesn't have one.

At first, Will makes a half-hearted attempt at denial.

Will: I put my hand on his shoulder for authenticity.

Bedelia: To establish he really told you those insults about the Dragon? Or had you wanted to put Dr. Chilton at risk? Just a little?

Will: I wonder.

Bedelia: Do you really have to wonder?

Will: No.

Bedelia: You were curious what would happen, that's apparent. Is this what you expected?

Will sounds very ironic.

Will: I can't say I'm surprised.

Bedelia: Then you may as well have struck the match. That's participation. Hannibal Lecter does indeed have agency in the world. He has you.

Considering the timing, Chilton looks like Will’s courtship gift to Hannibal. This is the second time Will harms an innocent person, which makes him far darker than a righteous killer should be. And why? Just because. His darkness is really evolving.

When Will visits Chilton with Jack, he openly lies to him (Jack) and tells him Hannibal is responsible for what happened.

In E13, Will stages another deadly game. He plots with Francis to break Hannibal free — the immediacy of his plan makes it look like Will has already been thinking about it before. He lies to Jack and Alana. He hides the fact that Francis is alive from them, and when they discover it by themselves, he offers a plan: to use Hannibal as a bait and stage his escape. Jack begins to plan everything. If Will had actually followed this plan, it would have gotten Hannibal and Francis killed. But Will doesn’t care about justice — he wants Hannibal free and he doesn’t give a damn about the consequences. He shares his true intentions with Bedelia and threatens her.

Will: I don't intend Hannibal to be caught a second time.

Bedelia studies Will. Sensing where he might be going. Hoping she is wrong. A flicker of alarm plays in her eyes.

Bedelia: Can't live with him. Can't live without him. Is that what this is?

Will: I guess… this is my Becoming . I'd pack my bags if I were you, Bedelia. Meat's back on the menu … Ready or not… here he comes.

This is a crucial moment because while in S2, Will called Randall’s murder his design, now he’s finally Becoming. It’s the climax of everything. He leaks info about Hannibal’s transfer to Francis (who, if you recall, has attacked Will’s wife and her son). He gets many officers murdered by proxy; he sets up Jack and destroys him professionally again; he endangers Alana and her family as well as Molly and Walter. Without showing even an ounce of regret toward the dead officers, Will climbs out of the car. We don’t get to see it, but this is what he does according to the script:

Will takes the gun off the dead cop.

Still with no care, he watches how Hannibal throws another body out of the car and offers Will to take a seat. Will looks long-suffering and fond, even though he has just gotten about 5 people killed. He goes with Hannibal.

In the cliff house, he admits he’s not sure if he can “save” himself by killing Hannibal.

Will: I don't know if I can save myself. And maybe that's just fine.

He intends to try, though, but when Francis attacks, Will naturally chooses Hannibal because he can’t see him killed. He reaches for his gun and the fight begins. Seeing Francis strangling Hannibal, Will pulls out the knife from his body and rushes to protect him. He and Hannibal kill Francis together, and Will plunges the knife into him with obvious relish. Then he admires the way the blood looks on his hand.

Will: It really does look black in the moonlight.

This is proof of how Will remembers everything Hannibal has ever said to him. He reaches out to embrace Hannibal, finally allowing himself this weakness, finally accepting that this is who he is and that there is no way back.

Hannibal: See? This is all I ever wanted for you, Will. For both of us.

Will: It’s beautiful.

These words have a tremendous worth. Hannibal’s dream for them, the one he has been hoping for since early S1, has just become realized, and Will found it beautiful. The script confirms it additionally:

A moment as Will considers the brutal pack hunting he shared with Hannibal Lecter. He genuinely feels it is beautiful.

Upon this realization, Will gives the fate the last chance to stop himself and Hannibal, knowing that if they live, they’ll unleash their mutual darkness on the world. He pushes them off the cliff that has been confirmed to have no rocks by Hannibal, giving them a chance to survive. And they do — and they stay together and hunt. Will threatened Bedelia with being eaten and he kept his promise. The deleted epilogue to the series shows him and Hannibal in perfect harmony with each other.

Note that this is far from the only moments and details of Will’s long Becoming. There are many more, but if I addressed them, this meta would be even longer. However, here’s a quick analysis of Will’s softer sides — because they also aren’t as simple as it might seem at first. Will seems to sympathize only with people he can relate to personally, who remind him of himself in some way, and most often, they are murderers. He’s bitter about not being able to save killer-children in E4 because like them, he struggles with understanding what family means; he feels close to Georgia because he also thinks he’s losing his mind and no one can understand him; he’s gentle with Peter because he sees him as his fragile mirror; he’s soft with Reba because like Bryan said, they are both people in love with serial killers. With everyone else, Will is indifferent or cold. These traits were less visible in S1, but after he started to Become, they began to come to the surface. His softer sides still have a degree of selfishness to them.

So, Will has always had darkness in him. He has always been a rather cold person despite his genuine struggles, confusion, and the desire to be normal. Hannibal changed his life, helping him embrace himself and find unconditional love and acceptance. Will’s journey was very long, it had many setbacks, but in the end, he made it. They both did, and now they are free to enjoy their new life together.

Tagging some old fans who might be interested! @typicalher @hannibalized @bloodsmile @victorineb @he-s-dead-jim

#hannibal #hannigram #hannibal lecter #will graham #becoming

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inkdemonapologist · 4 years ago

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[BatIM Call of Cthulhu Masterpost]

what episode are we on, THIRTEEN??? is it 13??? I think it’s 13. LUCKY EPISODE 13

anyway a LOT happened this session (sammy got attacked by an Angel! HES FINE) but ONE of the things that happened is that:

Prophet Sammy and Jack and Norman and Pete were sent off to get projector lightbulbs, because we needed a working projector to activate a magical artefact (AS ONE DOES)

we lost norman, so we took..... every lightbulb since we didn’t know which was the right one

we ran into a sleeping snake in the music room, and we were gonna just sneak past, so Prophet told everyone to keep quiet

Jack’s recent sanity loss resulted in a compulsion to defy orders

Jack defied orders

we actually all failed our rolls to be quiet except for Pete, so we determined that Sammy failed his own stealth check by responding with “WHAT ARE YOU DOING” at top volume, we are a very competent team

ANYWAY HAVE A SMATTERING OF OUT-OF-CONTEXT QUOTES,

[Sammy is played by me, Joey is played by Boo (inkyvendingmachine), Henry is played by Maf (inkcryptid), Jack is played by Mochi (whatyouwantedmetosee) and Thren (haunted-hijinxer) is our GM!]

[Jack] I have no feelings. [Jack] Well, I have one feeling, and it is: Party.

[Sammy] Sammy will tell him he's the Prophet of our lord! [Joey] Not the Yellow King. You should probably clarify that, [Sammy] (Sammy looks OFFENDED)

[Sammy] And he will pull out the angel trap for, whatever we're planning to do with that... what ARE we planning to do with that? [Jack] Step one, trap an angel. [Jack] Step two, question mark? [Jack] Step three........ Prophet is already here, we skipped ahead a few steps.

[DM] Preach at it! [Sammy] I don't really expect the angels of the False King to be, um, receptive to my message,

[Henry] If no one suggests helping Norman, I honestly don't think he's going to think of it... [GM] Norman is easy to overlook, in Henry's defense. [Henry] But it would be really handy to have... okay, I'm gonna say just before he does it goes, "wait, Norman, you--" [Sammy] (Is Norman receptive--?) [Jack] (Is Norman still there) [Joey] (Actually, Allison's there now? It's really weird.) [GM] (Tom's there now!) [Joey] *cracking up* (The local Tom species is well known to be found in cultist huts!) [Jack] (He's actually just astral projecting from New York, he just thinks he's having horrible PTSD,) [Sammy] (Actually, this is just another loop of Haiti. It's just a really long loop)

[GM, as Norman] Not sure now's the time for a party trick? [Sammy] Just smear your blood on people's hands! At a party!!!

[GM] Okay! 7 more temporary strength damage! [Henry] I'm at 52... [Joey] Joey could beat you in an arm wrestling match! [Sammy] OH NO, oh that IS bad! [Jack] If we're going by Strength number... Henry, having passed out after magical overexertion, is still stronger than Jack!

[Joey] Joey's gonna put a hand on Sammy's shoulder, and tell him that he did a good job! [Sammy] *muttering* ...Sammy does not require the praise of men... he seeks only to please his lord. [Joey] Well too bad! [Joey] He clearly has no taste.

[GM] The Angel is basically in between you and the huts. [Sammy] Cool, cool, cool. That's exactly where I wanted an Angel to be.

[GM] It's Jack's turn! [Jack] Hm, [GM] Joey's growing spear arms-- [Joey] (Pitchfork.) [GM] --Pitchfork arms... Avedon's freaking out... Henry's collapsed and is bleeding again... *cheerfully* Jack can appreciate all of this! In full detail now!

[Jack] Norman, hurry up and come to your senses so you can save your... whatever the heck Avedon is to you! [Sammy] Seems like friends at least. [Jack] Maybe more! [Jack] Imagine~

[GM] Henry is still down for this round, but is there anything he wants to take this opportunity to communicate or do? [Henry] *mumbling quietly* I'm fine, I'm fine... I just, I'm-- I'm fine,

[Sammy] Out of character, I'm alarmed. Sammy doesn't care!

[GM] Norman doesn't really want to leave someone to die. He's assuming everyone's on the same page, but... I guess we'll see!

[Joey] I think he's going to toon-hand, to reach out, and just like... open, the Angel's mouth? [Jack] That is cartoon logic! [Sammy] Put a stick in there. [Joey] Yeah! [Joey] NO, ACTUALLY, THAT'S GREAT [Joey] I'M STEALING THAT

[Jack] OH YEAH. Gives Jack an insanity, immediately forgets the insanity, [GM] It's good that everyone helps out on these! Because I'll tell you what, I do not remember all of them, [Joey] I feel like normally you shouldn't need to remember this many? I feel like we have maybe, uh, gone, a little far with them,

[Jack] The Lurker is a Bendy, he’s been training for this!

[GM] Avedon is muttering, intensely! [Sammy] That's-- that’s good! -- he's fine! See! He's back to normal!

[Joey] Joey is right next to Avedon, and holding him in his freakin, large cartoon hand.... and he rolLED A NINETY THREE ON LISTEN, he has, he has chosen not to listen to a word this man is saying. He is doing the opposite, he is REJECTING LISTENING. [Sammy] I rolled an 83, I don't know what Sammy's listening to but it's not Avedon! [GM] Bendy's also cackling delightedly, which isn't helping. [Sammy] Ohhhhhh that's what I'm listening to, the joyful laughter of my lord.

[Jack] What is stopping us from doing Moon Lens-y things? [Sammy] (oUT OF CHARACTER, I THINK THAT'S A REALLY GOOD IDEA!!!!)

[Jack] Maybe we should do, NOT this! and instead do, SOMETHING ELSE!! because it seems as though we have, just a little bit of a time limit!!!

[GM] It's gonna try to claw Moonlight free! In hopes that he can free it later. [Joey] Maybe it'll roll really badly-- [Sammy] Accidentally kill Moonlight, [GM] Let's see if it, like, fumbles... oh no, it does? whAT?? It rolled 98!! [entire party cackling with delight] [GM] Awkward,,,

[Sammy] If you don't shoot it, then Henry's gonna try to use magic again and it's just gonna be a mess. [Jack] He better not! [Sammy] Yeah, but it's Henry, so- [Jack] If he does, Jack'll beat him up himself! [Sammy] Oh, yeah, those sOFT LYRICIST FISTS, YOU WATCH OUT!!! [Jack] Jack punches Henry and Henry gains health

[GM] It stumbles a bit, but it's still coming. [Henry] *calmly* Shoot it again, please.

[Sammy] Sammy just doesn't take a sanity penalty because he's doing great, and is extremely sane. He doesn't have ANY insanities! [GM] I feel like the preaching one might still apply... [Sammy] It's not a compulsion, he just makes bad choices.

[Joey] Norman, did you bring your flashlight? [GM] Hm. Did Norman bring a flashlight to a swanky party...? [Joey] *muttering* he brought a GUN,

[GM] Make sanity checks, those of you who possess sanity!

[Joey] He's immediately going to turn around, and pull out the stone, and try to convert it! [Sammy] *softly, with feeling* ...you asshole...! [Henry] Uh, nonono, hey, uh-- [Sammy] (That's my job--!) [Joey] He's specifically trying to convert it to... not the Messenger, [Sammy] *DISTRESSED SCREECHING*

[GM] People who register as normal humans should be fine? [Jack] Does Sammy count as a normal human, currently? [GM] He does! [Sammy] Alas. He still must exist in this prison.

[Henry] Henry's going to say something along the lines of "Don't make me regret this," and he's going to start warding the door. [Sammy] (gOSH,,, whY ARE YOU, LISTENING TO HIM????) [Jack] (They just enable each other!) [Sammy] *incoherent yelling*

[GM] There's a big ol' snake! In the chair! [Henry] snair (snake chair) [Joey] Oh! You guys have to grab the snake, for Henry! [Sammy] We... don't! [Henry] For his collection!! [GM] Snare the snair!! [Sammy] NO! We're not gonna grab the snake chair! You didn't tell Sammy, 'now if you see a snake chair while you're out, make sure to grab that!' You DIDN'T TELL HIM THAT, YOU SHOULD'VE PUT IT ON THE LIST before you send him out like this, and not TEXT HIM EXTRA THINGS WHEN HE'S HALF-WAY THERE!!!

[GM] *describing weapons that can be found in the music room* There's lots of blunt instruments around... [Jack] NO!!!

[Henry] He's not going to be able to physically restrain Joey for the entire time you guys are gone!! [Jack] Because we all know that's the only way to stop Joey Drew.

[Joey] He's going to fix the story, and he's not going to let the Messenger ever mess with them again! [Henry] WE CAN DO THAT ANOTHER TIME, DREW

[GM] What is Henry trying to convince him, exactly? [Henry] *so, so tired* To just... stop.....

[Henry] ...I don't know... he wants to take as much strain off of Joey as he can-- [Sammy] DON'T TIE YOURSELF TO AN ELDRITCH ARTEFACT! [Henry]..........yeah, I'm going to listen to the ghost of Sammy.

[GM] You get to the closet, and find lightbulbs! [Sammy] So Norman has found what we need. [GM] No. Norman's not there anymore. [Sammy] .................what. [Joey] *cracking up* (ALLISON is there!)

[Sammy] *muttering* Okay, let's move very quietly through the room and not wake up the snake. [Jack] ...is he saying that out loud? [Sammy] ..........yes. [Sammy] Probably something more like, "Stay quiet, my sheep" [Jack] HMMMMMMMMMM [Sammy] I'm sorry, Sammy doesn't know about your insanity [Jack] HMMMMMMMMMMMM! [Joey] *laughs* Oh, we're disasters! [Jack] Theoretically, what would I do to suppress a compulsion...?

[Jack] And Norman isn't in this room? [GM] No, he is not. Although, uh.... yeah, nope. Nope!

[Joey] I honestly did not think Joey was going to get this far. I thought people would be back by now. [GM] There was a snake, [Sammy] We had to take a bit of a circuitous route, and SOMEONE is playing the piano! Even though I told him not to! [Jack] Also, snircuitous. [Sammy] (Why is this happening to me.) [Jack] I'm helping you method act Sammy Lawrence!

[GM] He does hear some of that laughing again, sounding very pleased, and an unpleasantly loud metallic sound. [Sammy] (.......is Norman actually becoming the Projectionist!? Eps is gonna be THRILLED!)

#call of cthulu: haunted hijinx #sammy lawrence #Jack Fain #prophet sammy IMMEDIATELY ditched the mask #it is not the mask his lord gave him!!!! a false mask!!!#anyway the concept of jack with a >83 expression is too good not to draw

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b612sunsets · 3 years ago

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Ahhh I’m happy to see someone else loving The Devil Judge - it truly is amazing 😭😭🖤✨ I love Yo-Han and Ga-on’s relationship I swear let them be destructive together!

I hate waiting for new episodes so please tell me one of your theories, it can be about anything! 🥰

Right?! I love it so much, it's really good to have our lilttle fam getting bigger, can't wait until it airs on Netflix, we will have even more people going crazy about it in here! (at least I hope it will become a Netflix series after the show ends like Beyon Evil - another love of mine) and yes, lawful husbands can be destructive together but only to the bad people pls 🥺

It's tough waiting for new episodes every weekend and at the same time I wish for it not to end so soon. It hasn't finished but I already want Jisung and Jinyoung in a second season or working together in another drama. Their chemistry on screen is too good to stop there

About the theories, there's a few I saw on reddit/twitter and I make my own based on it and after watching every episode, but I think it's too early to talk about them. However, since you requested it, there's some that come to mind as interesting enough to mention.

The fire and the story behind it narrated by Yohan

1- Some people think Yohan did start the fire because he found out about the dirty politicians real intentions and decided to destroy them all in the same place before Isaac could donate the money bc he is "a devil" and capable of that since he was a kid as told by the priest with the school incident and the nanny with the maid and dog thing. side note: not for pranking some kids who bullied him because that's all it seems like, right? But in terms of observing, thinking strategically and being one step ahead when needing to punish the whole classroom who wronged him even as young as he was and feeling satisfied while watching the result and staying out of it. A type of mentality probably encouraged by Isaac and the books he gave him to read, unlike a regular kid who would just fight back or endure it. And we still have to see if it really was Yohan that contributed to the maid's death or if it was something/someone else and the nanny thinks it was him.

They think that Elijah even saw him in front of the door right before the fire started and smiled at him instead of smiling at her parents, like she did in the gates of the cathedral in the previous scene, so that's why she hates him so much now because she can remember seeing him as the responsible for it. But Yohan didn't intend to kill/hurt Isaac and the rest of the family, thinking he could save them or something, and felt guilty that he couldn't do so. Some even said that Yohan delayed too much in trying to save them after entering the church and seeing Elijah getting her legs hurt, that it may have been shock but why would he remember everything and everyone so clearly if he was in shock?

It's a good theory but I have my own remarks: why wouldn't he tell Isaac about the politicians himself if he knew the dirty about them then? They had a close relationship and Isaac gave him books about punishment and everything, it wasn't like Isaac was too naive and wouldn't believe his half-brother. He wouldn't have donated if Yohan told him. "Oh he was being the devil and finding a way to punish them instead of just letting is slide and not donating" still, Yohan wouldn't risk Isaac and Elijah with such a dangerous plan if he could avoid having Isaac and Elijah at all in the destruction scene by telling Isaac about it. It could have been shock and Yohan wanting to look and commit to mind everyone's face in that day responsible for hurting his niece and not caring about anyone else but themselves, pushing him away and delaying his attempt to get to them in time, leaving Isaac and the family behind (after they almost donated them their money) and things like that. So he can avenge them now, like he did in the school with the kids. That's why as soon as he could, he canceled the donation in the most easy way by saying his brother wasn't sane enough to make that decision before dying.

There's also the theories about Isaac being the insane/evil one, which wouldn't surprise me because I've considered it since episode 3 but at the same time I'll not be touching that topic now and I don't know if I ever will unless proven otherwise in some other episode

2- The other theory I have and saw people discussing (the one I'm most inclined to believe because I'm Yohan biased but again it's too soon to be sure) is that the story Yohan narrated is mostly if not completely true and he experiences extreme guilt for not coming back and saving Isaac when the church collapsed on him, as seen in the character introduction by tvN translated in this tweet that we now know it's about Isaac:

The last words Yohan said to Isaac was that he was going to come back for him, so he experiences nightmares like the flashbacks we saw in episode 1 and that's why we don't see any scene of Isaac in the middle of the church after the fire staring at Yohan or during the fire and turning to stare directly at Yohan when he narrates it. Because they're dreams and his guilty conscience and he remembers them when looking at Gaon. The flashback of Yohan kneeling down and touching Isaac with Elijah's bear close to him could be after he got Elijah out from there and he went back to put the bear next to him kinda like a "Sorry for not coming back in time", a reassurance that his daughter for whom he died for is safe and will always stay with him, a "Goodbye". He wouldn't just let Isaac's body lying there, he would go back even if it was too late.

Another thing is that when Yohan is showing Gaon his scar after telling the story, there's a book fallen at his feet. I think it was the thing that fell when Yohan standed up from the table and choked Gaon (trying hard not to comment on that choking scene as a 🔥 Gahan moment for our delight and imagination bc that's not the point right now lol)

This is the book:

And the first page of this book says "Never again will a single story be told as though it's the only one." - John Berger

I searched about it and it can mean that never again will a story be told as if it's the only one that matters. It could also mean that never again will a story be so encompassing of the elements it tackles that no other story need be written about these elements. A story has many perspectives that cannot be understood by just a single viewpoint. Isn't that what this kdrama is all about?

One of the translations of what Yohan said after Gaon left was:

But there's also another version:

The meaning of what he said changes a bit depending on which translation is more accurate, more so when we add the book quote to the equation.

Kim Gaon and his connection to Kang Yohan

People think Gaon could be Isaac's relative in some way or just a look alike (I think it's just a look alike to contribute to Yohan's obsession/curiosity and their proximity from the start, that's why no one really comments on it, not even Gaon when he sees Isaac's picture). Dear God, let them not be related because it would make shipping our lawful husbands really strange, to say the least.

What I'd like to say and almost everyone is forgetting is that in the tvN character introduction we already have Gaon's past and know he wasn't always a goody two shoes, the man was a juvenile delinquent and can even fight (the rebellious phase he said he made the tattoo in episode 3?). He too sought revenge for his parents when he was 16 because they committed suicide after losing their money and being deceived by multi-level con artists posing as social service workers. But the teacher and Soohyun were able to hold him back.

Yohan's father could be one of the reasons for their death. He was a loan shark and might have lend them money after they lost it all and it caused them to have a great debt, that's why Yohan did a thorough research on Gaon and was interested in him (not only because he resembled his half-brother). They shared one enemy in common and maybe even a place (churches, Yohan's father tended to confess his sins in a church when his debtors killed themselves). Or Yohan might have researched about him at the time he knew Gaon was chosen to be the associate judge sitting on his left side instead of way before, because it's important to Yohan to know who he is dealing with and the dirty of their past if they have any. And then Yohan discovered everything and saw his picture and resemblance to Isaac.

The thing is: they have the same distrust/repulsion of powerful people who deceive the world and had a painful loss because of that. Both of them think they have the other exactly where they want but they get more confused about what it is that they really want from the other and get closer (as said in the summary of episode 5 that tvN released) while figuring it out. They will come to an understanding and probably join forces at some point. We saw it in the end of episode 4, the scene of episode 5 when Gaon says he can understand Yohan's pain but can't trust him if he doesn't tell him everything and then Yohan says Gaon needs to decide if he will get in his way or stay by his side. Gaon might go back to his rebellious days and stay with Yohan to seek revenge together while distancing himself from Soohyun and Jungho who prevented him from doing so

And that's about it! Thank you for your ask and hope my answer is satisfying enough! 💙 The hardest but also most awesome part is having to wait to see.

#the devil judge #answered asks #the devil judge theories #lawful husbands #gahan #analysis #the devil judge analysis

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tobeornottotc · 4 years ago

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COLOR RUSH EP 1 AND 2- OBSERVATIONS AND COMMENTS

Wow Wow Wow. The thrill and pleasure, I have just received from watching Color Rush episode 1 and 2, whilst learning about this new trope with the color verse world that I've never heard of before. It is intriguing to see a soulmate au done this way, it's cute, you're meant to be excited and soft when they meet, it's meant to be happiness and love and longing. But what we get with the Korean Bl Color Rush is far from that, there's angst, drama, fear and exhilaration from the idea that our couple might be a danger to each other instead of actually saving each other.

With hints to themes of losing control like madness and obsession and the psychological toll being a mono ( having neurological colour blindness and has dampened emotions). First of all, there are clues of books laid around like the one a side character was reading Macbeth. That's a worrying hint to what this show is exploring. It's going to show the frightening aspect of a mono's dependence on their probe to see colour, the addicting, obsessive, hunger once they have a colour rush.

It's dangerous especially with how Yeon Woo explains it, people have killed for this feeling, people have chosen to break the law, and people have died to prevent themselves from doing something awful to their probes. It's beautiful to see Yeon Woo meet his person, but it's scary to think that it's going to cause him to spiral and lose himself even more. Something he's trying so hard to avoid. This connection whilst fated is not a glamorous one, it's shockingly filled with angst and disturbances, but it's brilliant, and it's keeping me on my toes.

In episode 2, we see another hint to this dangerous connection forming the praying mantis; how a female survives by eating the head of her male lover after they get together. It's obviously another resemblance to our soulmate connection's theme and reality. What do we do when we're falling for a couple that may very well need to be separated for both to stay mentally sane and rational? We see the effects on Yeon Woo again, like hit after hit of a drug he's started to demand and lose his temper because of his fear of losing the feeling when he sees colours because of Han.

It's just brilliant, Korea has done it again they've chosen an ambitious plot, and they've taken BLs to a new level. The issue? This should be like every other Kdrama and have one-hour episodes and it breaks my heart that it's 15 minutes and only 8 episodes. But for now, the 15 minutes don't feel like a disadvantage. Still, I can't help but moan about the fact that this could be one of the best deep, angsty, emotional bl dramas if given more time to shine and work on its plot. Then again, sometimes having long runtimes can make a show laggier and include extra scenes that aren't needed. We'll see how that turns out with this drama. With Korean Bls though, it's been the latter; we want more minutes, we want more episodes, we want more of this because it's terrific to see honestly.

It's not just the unique soulmate AU, Color Rush seems to have. It has a plot hinting to the mystery about missing people, including our main character's mum who's been missing for quite a while. Also, she's not the only one; many Monos are going missing. This is intriguing, who's targeting these monos a probe bent on revenge? Another mono who's gone crazy and wants everyone to be unhappy because they didn't find their probe? What could it possibly be? Or did they all just run away because they knew they were being taken down into a darker hole because of their need to depend on their probe no matter how hard they try to prevent it? Are they being experimented on by some weird company?

I'm so interested and ready to see where this show takes us. I rarely write so much for the first episode of a drama, but this BL is already screaming meta, depth, love and angst that can be broken down and looked into. I'm so excited, and I cannot wait to go on this journey and watch this story get stronger and stronger. Thank you Korea for always choosing ambitious exciting and unique plots, this is why we need more Bls in Korea, we need this, we need to see this more, we need to know these storylines more, and we don't want it to stop. Just get better and better each year. Color Rush is a fantastic beginning to 2021. And I can't wait to see where it takes us.

#color rush #colour rush #korean bl #kdrama #bl series #bl drama #not thai bl #reviews #analysis

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dr-spencer-reids-queen · 4 years ago

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Blood Hungry: Part Four

Pairing: Spencer Reid x Reader

Word Count: ~2.6k

Warnings: canon violence, canon language, canon talk of death, methods of kill, fluff and angst

Author’s Note: I do not own anything from Criminal Minds. All credit goes to their respective owners. If there is any warnings that exceed the normal death/kills from the show, I will list them. If you’ve seen the show, then it’s the same level of angst unless otherwise stated.

Feedback is gold, and it’s the only currency I take

“His name's Eddy Mays and he’s twenty-one-years-old,” Sheriff Halls says.

Eddy is sitting inside the cell looking dazed and wild. All you can feel is the insanity coming off of him and see the angry red energy pouring out of every pore. He’s not well, but you think you can get through to him if you really try. This kind of person needs to be handled with delicacy, and you’re the only one who can do that.

“Wait, Mays?” you ask.

“Do you know him?” Hotch asks.

“Yeah. I just can't believe a boy like Eddy would do something like this. He was the nicest kid you ever saw.”

“He's mentally ill, sheriff. A boy like Eddy could truly use an insanity plea in a court of law,” Spencer says.

“You know, the ironic thing about psychotic illness is generally they're less violent than the rest of the population. But by the nature of psychotic delusions, when they do get violent…” you trail off.

“We're never gonna get anywhere with him. Not like this. Look at the guy. You can't read him is rights. You can't even process him,” Derek points out.

“I better call his mother. It's a damn shame. His daddy died just a couple years ago. This is gonna fall awful hard on her,” Sheriff Halls sighs.

“What's the family like?” Hotch asks.

“His dad was a doctor and Mary Gwathmey Mays comes from one of the oldest families in Tennessee.”

“I'd like to meet her.”

“We already have,” you say and look at Elle who just nods.

“Good get her,” Hotch says and leaves the group.

“I can probably get through to him. He needs to be handed with care, and I’m the only one who can connect to his insanity,” you whisper to Derek.

“Tell Hotch that,” he whispers back.

You push yourself off the walls of the cell and head over to Hotch who situates himself in front of a computer that has a webcam. He’s going to call Penelope to see what kind of dirt she could dig up on Eddy and his family.

“Hey, Hotch, I think you should let me talk to this guy. I’m the only one who can see what’s going on inside his mind. I might be able to relate to him more.”

“Fine, you’re the lead with this one,” he nods and clicks on the invitation for the video chat sent by Penelope.

“Hey, Garcia. Talk to me,” Hotch says once her face pops up.

“So, I got a hold of Eddy's roommate in college who describes Eddy as having an overprotective mom,” she begins.

“How overprotective?” you wonder.

“She called him, like, three times a day. And get this, one time she went up to Boston to break him up with a girlfriend she didn't like.”

“Wow,” you and Hotch scoff.

“Yeah. It seems like Eddy's entire college experience was some sort of post-adolescent rebellion. He partied like an eighties clubber. He suffered a delusional break due to methamphetamine and rock cocaine consumption.”

“Wow, that is partying like an eighties clubber,” Hotch grins.

“That basically describes my older sister’s life to the T,” you shudder at the memory.

“Right. So then, uh, he was admitted to a mental health facility in Boston. He checked himself out a week ago and then found his way home.”

“What was his major?” you ask.

“Comparative religion.”

“Appropriate,” you comment.

“Thanks. Um, how is it having Gideon around?”

“Uh, you can have him back whenever you'd like,” she says.

She tries to hide her annoyance, but you know it’s there. Hotch only laughs and says his goodbyes before ending the video chat.

“If we’re going to get anything out of him, he’ll need to be medicated. I can tell you right now I won’t be able to get anything in his state of mind. His energy is spiking everywhere.”

“Then call a doctor. Get him sedated.”

“Yes, sir,” you nod and head off to call a doctor.

While you did that, JJ and Hotch talked with Eddy’s mother to see if they can get anything out of her before it’s time to talk with her son. You didn’t go with them because you wanted to observe Eddy for a while to get a feel of how you’re going to approach him. It’s weird to say, but the crazier they are, the more you connect with them. Not everyone can see it, but the crazy ones leave themselves wide open for people like you to come in and read them like an open book. The more lucid a person is, the more they have control over their conscious mind. They are able to control how closed off they seem to other people. “Crazy” people don’t get that choice, so it’s an open invitation to people like you.

In all your years of doing this, you have never met another person who could do the things you can do. Maybe… no, you can’t think about her in a time like this. In fact, you’ve locked everything that has to do with her inside a steel room. You refuse to think about her.

Mary Mays needs to stay at the station while you talk with her son, so she’s waiting in one of the comfortable waiting rooms. The doctor just gave Eddy everything he needs in order to answer some questions even though that’s not why she gave him the medicine in the first place.

She exits the holding cells and walks over to you and Hotch who are waiting for her.

“I've administered the haloperidol to Mr. Mays.”

“How long until it takes effect?” Hotch asks.

“It's coming on now with the full effect in about fifteen minutes or so. You have to realize that while the drug will make him appear to be asymptomatic it will not necessarily remove his delusional state.”

“Will it make him more lucid?” you wonder.

“Possibly. But let me make this clear. I gave him the shot because he needed to be medicated, not so you could agitate him by putting him through an interrogation. That boy needs to be hospitalized.”

“Well, a jury might agree with you, but right now he needs to answer some questions 'cause there's a little boy we need to find. Thank you,” Hotch nods and heads into the holding cells.

You, Hotch, and Spencer approach Eddy, and your boss gives you the okay to begin questioning him. Both agents will be lingering in the background just in case help is needed, but this one is all on you. Eddy is sitting in the corner with his knees to his chest and his fingernails in his mouth. The medicine did help, but not by much. You carefully take a seat on the bed and stare at the man who couldn’t look at you.

“Hi, Eddy,” you say gently. “Do you know where you are?”

He shakes his head and stares at the ceiling, but he answers correctly.

“Jail.”

“That's right. Do you know why?”

“I was very bad. Before, I was very bad. But I'm... I'm much better now, much... much better,” he stutters.

“Eddy, do you remember hurting anyone?” you ask, and all he could do is stare at you. You don’t know why it was at this question that he can look at you, but you know he won’t answer it. You decide to go in a different direction. “Where did you go to college, Eddy?”

“Mm, Boston,” he smiles.

“Did you like Boston?”

“Mm-mmm. No. I don't know,” he stutters and bites his nails some more.

“What was your favorite thing about Boston, Eddy?”

“Harvard time square, I had cappuccino,” he smiles at the memory.

You nod and look at Spencer, and he hands you the picture of Wally. You take it and show Eddy the picture of the happy young boy whose life depends solely on you.

“Eddy, do you remember Wally? Wally Brisbane?”

“I know the Brisbanes,” he lights up as if you gave him a present on Christmas morning.

“You took this little boy. I believe you don’t want to hurt him, but you have him somewhere.”

“No. No. I did not,” he begins to point angrily at the picture and scrunches up his face angrily, “I did not do that.”

“Eddy, I know you’re uncomfortable, okay? I wish I didn’t have to do this, but a little boy’s life depends on this. Look at your hands, Eddy. They’re cut up and you have bruises on your arms. Do you know why that is?”

“Yeah,” he whimpers painfully after looking at them.

“You killed three people, Eddy,” you sigh.

“You killed three people, Eddy,” he repeats while making eye contact with you. “You killed three people, Eddy.”

You need to get on with this because it’s going nowhere. You look at Spencer again and he hands Eddy pictures of the crime scene for each victim. Pictures you know will upset him, but it’s necessary.

“Paul Thompson. Annie Stuart. Lynette Giles,” Spencer says each of their names as he shows Eddy them.

With every picture Eddy sees, he grows more and more agitated. He clearly hates what he’s done, but it’s like his mind doesn’t want him to know he’s the one who did it. However, the sane part of him is trying to break through to tell him he’s in a lot of trouble. There are two sides fighting inside his mind, and it’s clear he doesn’t know which side to listen to.

“No! No! Stop it!” he yells at himself.

“I tried, but we're not going to get anything out of him. It’s up to his mother to help us find Wally,” you sigh and get up.

You and the other two agents leave the holding cell while Eddy yells at himself. It’s almost as if he has two personalities and both of them are coming out to respond to the other. All of this is taking place in his mind, and you kind of feel sorry for him. He wasn’t always like this, and you have a feeling his mother had something to do with it.

“We need him to tell us where that boy is,” Sheriff Hall insists when you and the two men exit the holding cell.

“Sheriff, we're not gonna get anything out of him until he gets this latest episode under control,” you shrug.

“Agent Y/L/N, it's getting cold and dark. If that Brisbane boy is anywhere outside, he won't stand a chance in hell.”

“I understand that, Sheriff, but putting too much strain on his mind will cause him to have a complete breakdown. I’m telling you right now, we will not get anything out of him because he believes he’s done nothing wrong in the first place. There are two battles going on inside his mind. The rational side and the insane one. The insane is clearly winning. His rational side came out when we showed him pictures of the victims, but it’s too small to overpower the other side.”

“How do you know this?”

Before you can answer him, Deputy Long screams at everyone to come back to Eddy. Her screams are so loud that everyone in the station hears, including his own mother. Everyone heads over to see what’s wrong because something clearly is. You waste no time rushing over to her. Eddy is trying to hang himself by the small barred widow above the toilet with the sheets that were on the bed.

His mother completely freaks out and tries to go to him, but Elle holds her back. You, Hotch, and Sheriff Hall rush inside the cell and try to help Eddy down. He’s choking and trying so hard to end his own life, but you’re going to make sure that doesn’t happen. He’s lucid enough to want to end his own life, and you know the rational side of his mind drove him to it.

Like you said, you feel so bad for him.

When you met Mary Mays, you know she was kind of sketchy to begin with, and apparently, the rest of the team thinks so as well. Hotch gave you the rundown of his interview with her earlier, and apparently, she lied to him before. She didn't even mention that her son was in a mental hospital in the first place, and when you called the hospital, they claimed that he called her to pick him up but she never came. Why would she lie about that? She’s definitely hiding something; you can feel her deceit radiating from her body.

“Why weren't you straight with us, Mrs. Mays?” Hotch asks in the safety of the waiting room.

“Straight with you?”

“You never told us your son was in a mental hospital.”

“I spoke with a doctor at a facility in Boston. He said Eddy was released a week ago and that he called you to pick him up, but that you never came,” you say.

“You asked me if I knew if he'd come home, and I didn't. I... I thought he was in Boston,” she lies again.

“There was also blood on the floor of your utility room. Do you have any explanation for that?” you cross your arms.

When Derek and Elle went to check out her house, they found blood underneath her fridge that she happened to forget to clean up. Plus, the place smelled like bleach. Weird, huh?

“Well, sometimes I cut my legs when I prune the roses.”

“You prune your roses in winter?” you ask as you take a step to her.

“As a matter of fact, I do,” she becomes hostile and stands up to get in your face. “When do you prune yours?”

“Mrs. Mays, I understand that you may want to do everything you can to protect your son, but that little boy may be dying right now,” Hotch intervenes as Spencer lightly pulls you away from her.

“I would like to help you, I really would. But right now, I've got to see about my son.”

“I think it's better if you stay here,” Spencer suggests.

Every agent leaves the room to let her cool off her own head, and you shrug yourself out of his grip. Eddy was taken to a hospital immediately when the Sheriff knew he wouldn't be of any help now that he tried to kill himself.

“She's definitely lying. I don't know exactly what she's lying about, but she's lying,” Hotch determines and looks at you.

“Don’t look at me. Her mind is so closed off, I can’t get a read on her. Whatever she’s hiding, she really doesn’t want anyone to find out.”

“You don't think she'd let that boy die to save her son, do you?” JJ asks.

“I don't know.”

“She drives a Cadillac, right?” you ask, suddenly getting an idea.

“Yeah, why?” Elle wonders.

“They got a GPS system in them.”

“So…?”

“So, let’s see where she’s been. Let me tell you, technology doesn’t lie,” you chuckle and head outside to her car.

Derek, Hotch, and Elle follow you to her car, and after Hotch demanded to see her keys. She thinks you’re searching her car when really, you’re going to figure out where Wally is. You unlock the driver’s door and slide inside, and Derek slides into the passenger seat while Elle and Hotch linger by the window. After you turn the car on, you look up her search history on her GPS.

“This thing has got every stop she's made and how long she spent there,” you scoff.

“You know, these things could cause more divorces than internet porn,” Derek jokes until he sees something very interesting. “Hey, look at that. That's interesting.”

“Apparently, she stopped at the same place on route three like six times. Wally’s there. I can feel it,” you nod.

“Then let's get Mary and take her to that spot. We can tell her that we're going to visit Eddy in the hospital.”

“I’m going. You’re going to want me to come,” you declare.

wanna be tagged? add yourself to this document! if your tag doesn’t work, find out why!

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#blood hungry #series rewrite #criminal minds series rewrite #spencer reid #spencer reid x reader #spencer reid fanfiction #spencer reid fluff #spencer reid angst #criminal minds #criminal minds fanfiction #cm #cm fanfiction #season 1 episode 11 #s1e11

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saigonharrington · 4 years ago

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nervous // g.w

Hi babes!

I’m finally posting the George fic that I was talking about and I am so excited for you to read it!

please, reblog if you like it, it helps me grow

disclaimer: my knowledge of werewolves is based only on a little internet research and the tv series named teen wolf, the episode named Anchors inspired me to write this

pairing: george weasley x werewolf!fem!reader

word count: 6k

Y/N - your name; L/N - last name; Y/F/N - your friend’s name

warnings: swearing, mentions of sex, (kind of) panicking

summary: y/n is afraid of who she became, thinking that now she’s unlikable, but her new abilities prove her wrong, making her hear the boy’s talking and... the beating of his heart

“Hey, he’s staring again.” Your friend noticed the boy, who was standing across the hall with his brother and their friends.

Who was she talking about? George Weasley, of course, the person whose heart you could hear from miles away.

You met him a while ago, wandering through the halls at night, trying to sort some things out while he and his brother were bringing their another prank to life. Of all people attending Hogwarts, you bumped into them.

You never thought that someone, besides Prefects, would be seen in the corridors so you didn’t pay attention, focusing only on your thoughts. No wonder you got quite overwhelmed when you hit your head with something, and it definitely wasn’t a wall.

“Are you okay?” The redheaded boy asked you, worried about your well-being. “I’m sorry, I just couldn’t take my eyes off that Zonko’s new item. Are you sure you are fine? I can walk you to madam Pomfrey.”

“Oh, don’t worry about me.” You said, looking at the moon. “I’m heading to my dormitory, don’t want to bother you and your brother.” You nodded at him, so he told you his name.

“I’m Fred. The more handsome one. Also, the funnier one, because I’ve just made out an amazing plan. Care to join us? I swear you will not regret it. ” He encouraged you, and you didn’t want to be rude, finally agreeing to go with them. A couple of minutes more outside the dorm can’t hurt you, right?

The thing is, you spent almost the whole night preparing pranks with them and idly talking, joking about Snape and Filch.

The problem is, you haven't talked with them since that accident. Sometimes you exchanged a few words in classes you had together but nothing more.

So then why did George have a crush on you?

You asked yourself that question many times since you first heard him confessing his feelings to Fred. Every time this boy got closer to you or touched you accidentally, his heart was beating so fast like a drum. Your heart has been just as fast as his, but he couldn’t know that. You didn’t even know if it was because you shared his feelings, or did just knowing what he feels towards you, made you that anxious.

“I know. I’m still not able to control these new super senses. I saw him a while ago. Not to mention that his heart makes my ears hurt. ” You admitted, holding your head because all these sounds were giving you a headache.

“Well, maybe if you’d finally talk to him, your senses wouldn’t be a big problem. Perhaps if you can’t manage to control them, you should ask someone who might help you. Go to professor Lupin.”

“But he doesn’t know that I’m a werewolf. I’m still not comfortable when someone mentions that. ” You said, scared of what you’d become. You knew that sooner or later you were supposed to reach for help, but you felt insecure and didn’t want to recall that night when you were bitten.

“He’s coming over here.” Your friend interrupted your thought, reminding you of George.

“No way, we have to run.” You started packing your bag, standing up from sitting on the bench.

“Too late.” She added, making you turn around.

“Hello girls, how’s your day?” He asked nicely, staring at you constantly.

“Bad.” You whispered.

“Getting better.” Your friend interrupted you, because she knew how much you wanted to walk away, and she couldn’t let you, knowing that you have to confront him anyway.

“Great, I wanted to ask you a question.” He pointed at you, smiling widely. “Would you go on a date with me?” He scratched his back, getting stressed. You heard his heart pounding, which made you even angrier. The sound was so loud that you weren’t able to hear anything other than that, feeling like you could pass out at any moment.

“She would love to.” Your friend took the lead, which made the boy wonder why you weren’t responding. “She’s just as stressed as you are. Sorry for speaking in her name, but she talked about you for so long. I hope you understand.”

“Oh, no worries. Meet me after the lessons on Friday. I’ll be waiting near to the great hall. ” He explained, addressing it to you, adding a short “see you later” after his brother called after him.

“You should thank me.” Your friend addressed you, asking you to sit down.

“Gosh, his heart was beating so fast. I couldn’t focus.” You told her, relaxing a bit. “And no, I will not thank you. Can’t you understand why I’m avoiding him? I thought I told you.”

“No, I can. I just think that you’re wrong. ” She told you, winking at you.

“Think about it. If he’ll find out who I am, he won’t talk to me again. I’d rather stare at him, being miles away and aware that he likes me too than admitting who I am and getting rejected, him not being able to look at me again.” You admitted, hearing your voice cracking slowly.

“You idiot. You really think that werewolves are some type of creature that cannot function normally? You’re here for centuries, managing everything somehow, I bet that there were werewolves married to Muggles, to wizards, and many more. Don’t think of yourself as a beast, some kind of unlovable creature. That’s not what you are. You’re perfectly normal. By the way, bold of you to assume that he’s the first one to judge and won’t accept you.” She gave you a speech, trying to cheer you up.

“That’s exactly what I think. Can you blame me? I’m still not used to this, I never really talked with any other werewolves.”

“Then stop! See, you’re also prejudging him. There’s only one way to find out what he’s thinking about you. You’ll tell him the truth. But for now, we have to find Lupin.”

—

You were not ready yesterday, so after your friend spotted Lupin, you decided to hide. You wanted to be prepared for every topic that he will discuss with you, deciding that you’ll ask him to stay for a little talk when the DADA lesson finishes.

“Can I speak with you for a moment, professor?” You asked, trying to sound quiet.

“Yes, you may. What’s the problem, miss L/N?”

“If you’re going to ask questions, then I might stay here for a little longer than ‘ a moment ’.” You joked, secretly being scared of admitting the truth.

“Anyway. As you may know, I am a werewolf. Before you ask, I prefer not to tell you how it happened. I’m still learning, and you’re the only one that came to mind. I thought that you might help me.”

“You should’ve come earlier. Weren’t you curious earlier about your abilities and how to control them?”

“I was. But I was also too afraid to say something. Werewolves aren’t considered as the nicest creatures, I wanted to avoid gossip. I still want to. ” You started a monologue, watching closely if Lupin is paying attention to you. “The main reason for me coming to have a little chat with you is not only to ask about my abilities. I’m invested in hearing. Because I cannot understand why some sounds are clearer and come to my mind often? What makes them so?”

“Do you have something specific in your mind?” He asked, being eager to help you.

“Someone’s heart beating. I mean, I hear a lot of sounds, but this one is haunting me, even if that person is completely in a different place. Am I losing my mind? Or did this happen to you as well?”

“This person is your anchor, then. The one who can calm you down, who can help you control all of your new skills. But it might change through the years, you don’t have one anchor for eternity. Everything is based on your feelings. ” Remus explained calmly.

“Who was your anchor? You don’t have to tell me if you’re not feeling comfortable with it, after all, I’m just another Hogwarts student. ” You asked out of curiosity, wishing that he will open up to you.

“It used to be someone who was my friend. I don’t think I have an anchor anymore. ” He answered, being rather peaceful and not bothered by it, however, you wanted to comfort him, asking for permission to hug him.

“You’ll find another anchor. You said that we can have it more than once, right? I bet that somewhere there is someone special, whose ability is to calm you down. ” You smiled shyly.

“Um, eh, we’re not here to be upset. Let’s focus on your issue.” He said, wanting to change the topic. “What you need to control your abilities is physical contact with that special someone. I can’t assure you that it will work after the first attempt, but it certainly might help.

“But that takes time, I think I was able to control most parts of it after months. Still, some things are not under my control. Anyway, don’t worry about that, everything has its flaws. If you’ll excuse me, I have an important meeting soon, I don't want to be late. If you want, we can meet again after one of my lessons.” Lupin bid you goodbye, making you leave his classroom.

As you were left alone, you started thinking about the conversation that happened seconds ago. It did not make sense to you.

How could George be your anchor?

Sure, you had a crush on him for a while, but nothing ever happened between you two. That one night, which you spent preparing pranks with twins was fun, nothing else. You decided to not make any more friends, because you remembered how Y/F/N reacted when you said that you’re a werewolf. So you drifted away not only for your own good, but also for his.

Why him? Why isn’t it your friend, or even someone from your family who is your anchor? And how are you going to explain it to him? “Hey, I’m a werewolf, and you’re the only one that keeps me sane? You have to stay with me forever, otherwise I might go crazy?”

No way. You couldn’t see it.

At the same time, George was calmly waiting for you next to the Defence Against the Dark Arts classroom. He noticed that you stayed for a little talk with Remus, but he also was eager to talk to you.

Your date was supposed to happen tomorrow, and he wanted to make sure that you’re comfortable with him, and that you have something to talk about. He was afraid that maybe somehow tomorrow you guys will be stressed, so chatting the day before, no strings attached and just getting to know each other might lighten the mood.

“Hey.” He started the conversation without thinking about it. ‘Hey’? Couldn’t you think about anything better? Something more creative? Now she will think that you were stalking her, you dumbass, he thought, standing in front of you.

Never was he that close to you, or maybe just didn’t pay attention when you were around, but now he noticed the height difference between the both of you. He found it really hard not to kneel down, so he could see your eyes gleaming. Although he considered it cute and funny, he decided not to mock it. Well, not right now, since he had other reasons to talk to you and was so fixated about it.

“Hello George, what could have brought you here?” You asked, not bothering to look at him, because you would have to keep your head up.

“We just had the same lesson. I sit in front of you. ” He explained, thinking that you didn’t notice that detail. If the tall, ginger boy can be considered as a detail.

“Oh, I know. But the lesson ended 20 minutes ago. ” You said, wondering if he will say what he has in mind or will just play pretend.

“Actually, I wanted to talk to you. Nothing deep, only to diffuse the tension before our meeting tomorrow. ” He scratched his head, walking slowly by your side.

“Meeting you say, and what’s that?” You teased him a little, finding it funny and adorable that he was afraid to use the word ‘date’.

“You know, when a group of people, two and above, meets somewhere. God, I was scared that I’m going to be the dumb one. Now I can relax. But I have to admit, I expected more from you. ” He joked, coping with his fear.

“Okay, so what’s the pre-meeting topic that made you come to me?”

“Actually…” He began, but you interfered.

“Shit. My friend is there.” You pointed at the end of the corridor, where she was talking with a Ravenclaw from your year. “We have to hide, I’ll explain.” You pushed him to the next door that appeared in front of you, finding yourself in Filch’s office. Great.

“Can you explain now? I thought that you like her. ” He asked out of curiosity.

“I do, but I don’t want her to interject in our conversation. Shh, I think someone’s coming. We should hide. ” You advised, being pretty sure that it’s Filch. Who else would come to his office? You made George hide behind the huge bookshelf, noticing how little space there was.

“You know, we could also say a spell to make us invisible.” He laughed at you, trying to find a comfortable position.

“Too late. Shut your mouth. ” You both tried to stay silent, hearing the sound of someone opening the door. George was almost sitting, because if he would stand normally, his head could be seen above the bookshelf.

His eyes were focused on you and your face in general, which made you hold your laughs way harder than you thought it would. If either of you made a sound, you’d end up in detention, and Filch would make sure that you get the worst punishment.

Fortunately, he only came to get one thing from his desk, so as soon as you heard the door shut, George suddenly moved, hitting his head on the shelf.

“Shh.” You said, listening closely to the steps that were getting closer.

“Ah, Mr. Norris, I forgot about you! But you didn’t have to hit the door so hard. I hope you forgive me. ” He said to the cat that stayed in his office, but this time he took it with him.

While they were going out of the office, you had to silence the boy, who was struggling because of pain. It was not your intention to show your werewolf abilities, however, he looked as it really hurt him, wanting to scream.

“Show me the back of your head.” You demanded, when the two of you went out of the hideaway. You slowly took his head with one hand, the other one intertwining with his fingers. He had no idea what you were doing. It was clever of you to take his hand, making it look like you were comforting him, while you took some of his pain away. Fortunately, you were wearing your long robes, so your veins were not visible. Otherwise, the boy would’ve seen how you were taking the sore, making the veins look blackish.

If it weren’t for your location and the cause of his headache, both of you would be on the way to the hospital wing. But how could you explain that George hit the bookshelf in Filch’s office? Well, you couldn’t. Good for you that the boy did not question your methods, he probably didn’t even notice the thing that you had done.

“That was weird. But also hilarious.” George admitted, laughing way too loud, when you carefully opened the door to check what’s going on outside the office. After you made sure that no one was staring, you took his hand again, making him go after you.

While wandering through corridors, you noticed it is almost empty.

“Why is no one here?” You asked, not expecting the ginger boy to answer.

“You know, I think everyone is having classes. We’re going to be late.”

“Oh no, we’re not going at all.” You replied quickly. “Not in the mood to get all the attention today, apparently the world is against me. We gotta be smarter, let’s play truant.” You tried to encourage George, but he already seemed to be in.

“That sounds great! Now I really do feel like we’re soulmates.”

“You doubted it? Wait, you never even mentioned that to me. ” You craved for an explanation, while George wasn’t so fond of telling you more.

“Don’t worry, it’s just a silly word. I intended to ask you something. Why didn’t you say anything when I asked for a date? Is it because you didn’t want to, or find me too intimidating?”

“Do you want the answer that will make you look bad, or do I have to take all the blame?”

“Depends which is the correct one.” He replied teasingly.

“I mean, I did think it was a little weird that you asked me, because after the pranks that night we talked only occasionally… how could I possibly be your soulmate? How could you grow to like me when you don’t know me at all? ” Yeah, you might regret that later, but you had to be honest.

“Merlin, I’m going to sound like a weirdo, but I do know you. At least I think so. You showed the real yourself that night, being careless and funny, besides in most of my classes I’m focusing on you, not the topic. I’m definitely sounding like a psycho, but you always sit in front of me or behind me, joking with your friend and I cannot help but hear more than a little and laugh quietly. I’ve liked you since that damn night and got to know you, in an unusual way, but still felt like we’re similar. That’s why I had to shoot my shot. Please don’t leave. ” He said, grabbing my hand, afraid of the vision that I might freak out.

“Can you shut up?” You replied in a harsh way, later realizing what you had done. “Shit, I didn’t mean… I just… you can speak. I’m just… Can you calm down? It sounds like your heart is going to run away from your body.”

“Am I sweating or what?” He asked, curious how did you notice that his heart was fluttering.

“Oh no I actually… I can hear your heart beating. Very, very fast. And that you’re swallowing now the gulp of saliva, because you’re scared. I even hear professor Flitwick explaining the cheering charm to the 3rd years. And that Hagrid is coming, I think he’ll appear in this corridor in two minutes.”

“Your eyes have just changed from their natural color. What is going on? Is something wrong? I am worried, I want to help you darling. ” He tried to comfort you, so you didn’t even notice the nickname. “Are you an Animagus? Metamorphmagus?”

“I’m a werewolf. I’m a werewolf, George. I’m so sorry, I know, I should’ve told you earlier. ” You admitted the truth, now being the one who’s afraid.

“No way! That’s so cool! I’m glad that I know! How many people know? Is this why you talked with Lupin? Can you show me your claws? And your transformation? ” The ginger got way too excited, so your job was to tone him down.

“Shh, remember that we’re in corridors, when we should be in classes. No one can know that we’re here. I’m so sorry for saying this, but I can’t show you. Not only is it irresponsible, but.. I can’t control anything since I was bitten. It might be because I’m that creature for the short term. I haven’t learned to control it yet, no one was kind enough to show me. Oh wait, the only werewolf that I know and trust is Remus and I told him the news just today.”

“But you told me that you hear my heart beating... It’s one of your abilities, right? ” He asked curiously.

“Yeah, it is. See, I either don’t know how to do things or they’re out of my control. I can smell like everything in this corridor right now, and trust me, when it’s mixed, it’s awful. I told you, I hear not only you, but even what’s happening in the charms classroom that is in front of us,” you took a deep breath, trying to gather your wits,

“I also see the flying lessons from that window and I can recall every face of the students that are now attending that lesson. The problem is, that I don’t want to. This information is totally not needed by me, but I can’t control it.”

“I can’t decide yet what I want to smell or hear… it’s really hard. That’s why I couldn’t answer you when you asked me on a date. I heard your heart, and it caused my headache, that’s why my friend took the lead and talked with you that day.”

“Oh, don’t worry about it! Now that I know what was happening, I can relax. Should I say sorry for the sound of my heart? I didn’t want to…”

“It’s okay.” You interjected, comforting him, while it’s you who needed the comfort. “It’s not that bad, since you consider us soulmates, me, remembering how your heart beat sounds, it’s quite romantic.” You smiled shyly, avoiding eye contact.

“Can I?” George started, but took a break, wishing that you know what he has in his mind. You didn’t, so you stared at him with interest. “Can I listen to your heart? I wish I could remember yours too.”

You nodded at him, but the boy was too awkward to start this. You took his hand, leading it slowly to your chest, getting out of your comfort zone.

“You know, maybe you should rest your head on me. It won’t look as weird as you're almost touching my breasts. ” You started laughing, wondering if you’re taking this too far.

“Alright then.” He got a little more confident, doing as you told him so. “And I was hoping that we were going to have sex.”

“And you’re my soulmate?? Man, I would never do it in public. In front of the charms' classroom? What if Flitwick or students… I can’t even say it. You’re something else, Weasley.” You patted him on his head, which was still resting on your arm.

“I was going to tell you something really important. But since you got too cocky, you’re gonna have to wait ‘til our date. ” You started, feeling ready to explain to him about the anchor. You didn’t change your mind, because you will tell him anyway. Since the two of you got way too comfortable around each other, you decided to tease him a little.

“Oh please, don’t leave me hanging on. I can give you… something. ” He tried to convince you, taking some sweets from his pocket.

“No way, I know what you’re giving me. It’s Zonko’s hiccough sweet. Won’t happen. ” You replied, declining his offer. The bell ringing made you realize that the lesson has ended and the two of you should hide or at least make an excuse why didn’t you show up to your classes. Not only for the teachers, but for the friends' curiosity. What were you going to say? It seemed easier to just disappear than explain everything.

“I’m sorry, but Fred is watching us and I think we have something to talk about.” George got up, waving to his brother. “See you tomorrow then? Please, don’t be late” He added, lending you a hand in case you wanted to stand up, but you kindly declined it, deciding to sit for a little longer.

“Where were you? I was freaking out until I noticed that George was also absent. Good for you that it’s the transfiguration you had missed, not potions. Snape would kill you, or make you clean his class. Now, tell me what happened. In detail, please. ” She begged you, making you sigh at that statement, knowing that you two will probably miss another lesson, talking about your new friend, or, more like, soulmate?

—

The date was about to begin in 30 minutes, you were sitting calmly in your dorm, listening to your friend’s rambling.

“What do you mean by saying that you have ‘a lot of time’? Is thirty minutes a lot? You aren’t ready at all! At least change your shirt.”

“Well, I wanted to dress up. Then I started thinking if I should wear something casual, since it’s just Friday night, and we’re staying in school, or should I wear something elegant, to make this date more serious. Next I had a little panic attack for the same reason. Finally, I decided that I’m not gonna dress up. Too much pressure.”

“So you’re going in the same clothes that you were wearing for the whole day?” She asked you, wishing you’ll decide to change.

“Yeah, I don’t want to make it official. We’ll see what is going to happen.”

“At least brush your teeth for Merlin’s sake! I bet this boy is ready for something more than listening to your heart. ” She joked, making you terrified.

“Damn, what if he really does? What If I won’t be able to control myself and change into a werewolf? That would be so humiliating.”

“No! I’m sorry, don’t panic. I think he’ll be excited to see you in that way. You mentioned that he was very cool about that. ” She tried to calm you.

“No, you don’t understand. I can’t control myself. What If I harm him? I don’t want to... If something like that happens, then for sure he won’t keep in touch with me. ” You said, pacing around the dorm to not freak out.

“Oh trust me, this boy is weird. And he likes taking risks. I bet that he will laugh about it and get excited. ” She summed it up, wishing that it might cheer me up.

Because of her, you finally decided to get up and change clothes. You still wanted to be comfortable, hoping that casual clothes would fit in that situation, whatever it may be that George has planned.

After saying goodbye to your friend, you found yourself in the corridors, walking slowly, focusing on breathing slowly. There’s no need to worry, right?

A couple of minutes later you noticed George, standing in front of the Great Hall, just as he said to you earlier, leaning against the wall. He was looking down at the floor, bouncing his head, probably to the song that he couldn’t get rid of. You did not want to interrupt, enjoying the view from afar, but you knew you had no choice.

“Stressed?” You asked him, watching as his eyes slowly looked upon you. “Not any longer. You came. ” He smirked, asking for permission to take my hand. “Why wouldn’t I? Yesterday was fun. ” You admitted, being curious where the two of you are heading to.

Before you realized you were outside of Hogwarts, George led you to the location where everything was prepared. You couldn’t help but wonder what he has in his mind. Is he worried that you may not like that? Is he excited to show you? Is it still a date or just a friendly meeting?

Seconds later the view was starting to get familiar the Black Lake was for sure mesmerizing, but what amazed you more was a huge, colorful blanket with so much food on it.

“Did you make it?” You asked, noticing that a flower crown was also laying on the blanket. “Which charm did you use?” The boy flushed at this question, feeling embarrassed.

“Oh, I didn’t use any charm. I got anxious after everything was prepared, so I had to get my hands busy. We were making flower crowns when Ginny was little, so I was worried that I might not do it properly, because it was long ago, but I’m actually proud of that one. ” George explained everything to you, starting to gain his confidence back, seeing that you liked what he had done. He helped you put it on your head, and then you sat down, looking at swans swimming in the lake.

“Do you think that we will eat everything? It looks like a feast for the whole school, or at least for one of the houses. ” The food in front of you was disappearing very, very slowly. Although George was eating all the time, the blanket was still full of all kinds of food. At first, you weren’t eager to try this food, knowing that George might have done something with it, but when he reached for the snacks, you followed his actions.

Talking with him was really pleasant, you felt weirdly comfortable around him, but still the anchor thing was haunting you. Sometimes you couldn’t focus, thinking how are you going to explain it to him. It wasn’t that hard to make words come out of your mouth. What worried you was the commitment. Do you have to be his girlfriend immediately after that confession? Does that strengthen the bond between you two? Or will it mean nothing to him?

You could admit that you liked him. A lot. But those words sounded like you expected him to be more than your friend, and you did not want to rush things. Maybe you’ll consider telling it to him after the date? Depends on if it’s going to be good or end awkwardly?

You decided to brush it off, asking out of nowhere.

“George, what’s like to prank people? Do you feel excited or embarrassed while making them?”

“Don’t tell me you’ve never pranked someone.” He said seriously, but seeing your face made him realize that you weren’t joking as well.

“No way. We have to prank someone together. Get up. Plans are changed.” He ordered, making sure that you do what he told you to, and then throwing the spell that made the blanket disappear.

“Did someone get under your skin lately?” Weasley said, probably having the plan already made in his head.

“Filch is yelling at me every day. Apparently Mr. Norris is not fond of my Kneazle.”

“And you’re letting him treat you like that? We gotta do something.”

Going back to Hogwarts was quick and exciting. You never pranked anyone but you heard a lot of stories about the twins doing it, and having a chance to make it with one of them next to you, made you hope that it’s going to be fun. George decided that you’re gonna make a potion that will make Filch speak nonsense, it is Babbling Beverage.

To do this, you had to sneak into the potions classroom, which wasn’t the easiest task, but definitely the interesting one.

Joking with Weasley was really easy, this boy was a comedian. Spending time with him opened your eyes, that not everything has to be taken seriously in life. He could make fun of anything, yet you felt comfortable with him, because he knew when he should stop.

Collecting all the things needed to brew this potion created a silence between you two, because you focused on the responsibility to make it perfect. Considering the fact that neither of you were good in potions, doing all of this was a challenge. But you knew it was worth it. For all the things Filch said to you, offending you every day, you waited for the sweet, sweet revenge.

Finally, feeling ready, you broke the silence.

“George, I have to say something. Please don’t make fun of me.”

“No worries darling. I literally came to you and asked you out even though we didn’t talk much. If you didn’t make fun of me, then I won’t do it to you.” He admitted, taking the ladle out of your hands.

“How much do you know about werewolves?” You started slowly, not wanting to get to the point so quickly.

“Not much. Just that you and Remus are the ones. And that something happens when there’s a full moon. Do you want to say that I should learn more? Because I could do that for you. ” He replied, like it wasn’t a big thing, but it made you smile wide.

“Oh, you don’t have to.” You said, not wanting to put the pressure on him. “You know, there’s a thing called an Anchor.” You started, taking a deep breath to think what you should say.

“And what’s that?” He asked out of curiosity, wishing that you could explain everything now, because he hated living with the unawareness. “You can trust me.” He added, taking your palm in his and rubbing it slowly with his thumb.

“I don’t know how to say this. I’m nervous. It... it’s a thing, or a person... actually, it is a person, who can calm the werewolf. They don’t have to be next to the creature, just the thought of them makes the werewolf control everything, making them able to not transform into the beast... you know. ” You started messing up the words, feeling incredibly stressed, and the fact that George was staring deep in your eyes, didn’t help you at all.

“Sorry to bother you, but we have to wait one hour for this ingredient to get warmer. We can sit in the storeroom then.” He took off his jacket, putting it on the floor to make the place a bit more cozy.

You sat next to him, staying silent, knowing that when he interrupted you, it could mean that he’s not interested in the werewolf things. “What you said about the anchor... I think it’s pretty romantic. But why did you mention it to me?”

“Don’t make me say it Weasley. I really don’t want to. I don’t even think I can. ” You tried to make it obvious that it’s him, but he clearly wanted you to admit it out loud.

“No way, is it Snape? That’s why we’re sitting here? Or is it Filch? And you want to show him the affection through the pranks? You're a weirdo, Y/N.” He laughed.

“And you clearly don’t know what I have in mind.” You said, getting the confidence you gained lately.

“Do you mean you’re going to change tonight? Should I run? Or try to keep you calm? ” He was asking.

“If someone’s going to be that dumb, I might harm him. Just in case. ” You tried to tease him back, not wanting to say those words.

“Can I kiss you? These threats sound so hot when it comes out of your mouth. ” He asked, so you nodded quietly, watching as he was leaning closer. “Just don’t bite me, or do it. I would be the best werewolf, and the most handsome one. ” He whispered between the kisses.

“Your heart is so freaking loud. Maybe we should stop, we don’t want you to die or have a heart attack. ” You replied, showing that you care.

“We don’t? I didn’t know that. Also, I thought that you can’t hear it anymore. Since I am your anchor, and all you do right now is think of me...” he said confidently, admitting the things you were scared to say.

“Glad you finally understood. But it doesn’t work like that...” You were eager to explain everything once more, yet George had the courage to interrupt you again.

“Shh, we will have the time for talking. I’m now stuck with you forever, to be your Prince Charming and hero when you won’t be able to control yourself. But you are able now, and the night is long…”

“Don’t be so sure.” You interjected, moving closer and deciding to sit on him.

As George said, the night was long. The two of you forgot about the potion you were making, focusing on something else.

The worst thing was how easy the two of you fell asleep.

Snape seeing you that morning, sleeping, covered with your robes, was quite surprised. And furious. He yelled at you, making you wake up, not knowing where you are and what you were doing last night.

It was obvious that he’s going to serve detention for you.

But what could possibly go wrong, now that you have your anchor beside you?

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