#I’m talking about the little kids of the village obviously

[saetoru]

✩ ‧₊˚ ✩ SORCERY SCHEMES — GETO SUGURU.

contents. non sorcery au!, husband! suguru, gn! reader, nanako and mimiko are still your kids, silly lil shenanigans of cult leader! suguru being in your dreams

suguru has been the source of your anger for lots of things over the years. some fair, others not so much.

that one important date he accidentally missed because he got caught up at work. that time you vented and he tried to tell you to toughen up instead of picking your side. that time he accidentally shrunk your favorite sweater in the laundry. that time he fell asleep while you were talking late at night (he had insisted he was tired, in his defense—you were just too stubborn to let him sleep.)

marriage has its ups and downs, but suguru likes to think you’re a strong couple—but this? this is the most outrageously ridiculous reason to be mad at him—he’s simply at a loss.

“so let me get this straight,” he starts slowly, as if trying to comprehend something far too complex for his simple mind, “you’re mad at me because i had some superpowers in your dream—”

“it was sorcery,” you hiss, “were you even listening?”

“right. sorry. i was…a sorcerer,” he apologizes. he looks at you like you’re insane—your eye twitches just a little. “and then suddenly i went crazy in the head and killed a village and adopted nanako and mimiko and…left. to basically cleanse an entire demographic. is that right?”

“you had a cult too.”

“and the cult,” he nods slowly, “can’t forget the cult.”

“yeah,” you glower—if looks could kill, suguru thinks he might have never been born at all. this is a new one, he has to admit. “and it was really fucking rude. you left. and you took the kids before i could even meet them.”

“okay,” he says tiredly, rubbing his forehead, “baby, i don’t know if you realize this, but i don’t…i can’t perform sorcery. and i don’t have a cult i can lead either. i’m just a literature teacher—”

“i know what you are,” you snap, shoving away the hand he tries to reach at you with, “you’re a selfish psychopath who committed heinous crimes and left me single and alone as you led a group of people to follow your crazy ideas. don’t even think about touching me—”

“so do you want me to apologize?” he sighs, “because i’m sorry—”

“what if i left you? huh? and just started killing everyone who has blue eyes? what then? i’ll take the kids this time and leave you alone, see how you like it.”

“well, at least that gets rid of satoru,” he mutters quietly. and then he grins—chuckles a soft little laugh that makes the edges of your lips curl just a bit. “you’re crazy,” he snorts, shaking his head. and then— “but i love you. c’mere.”

you don’t fight the hand the reaches towards you this time, letting his arm curl around your waist and pull you into his side. that’s a good sign, he thinks, so he tests the waters and plants a kiss to your head. you melt just a little.

“i’m still mad at you,” you mumble.

“yeah, i figured,” he grins, “anything i can do to erase my sins as a mass murderer?”

“you can make breakfast,” you hum, leaning closer as you rub circles into his chest, “and wash the dishes.”

“easy enough,” he nods, pulling a scowl from you.

“you’re not off the hook yet,” you click your teeth.

“of course,” he nods in agreement, “i still have to atone for my radical actions. i’ll start by resurrecting all the people i killed. that should do it, right?”

“suguru, be serious,” you huff, “i was very sad, okay?”

“did you miss me?” he wriggles his brows—you look at him incredulously before slapping his chest. he chuckles a little too long for your liking.

“what a stupid question,” you pinch your nose, “so if i became delusional and ran off to erase a population, you wouldn’t be upset with me?”

“actually, i’d follow you because i love you,” he shrugs, pinching your nose lightly, “i’d be your cult’s second-in-command. obviously you just didn’t love me enough in your dream to do the same for me.”

“you didn’t invite me,” you pout through a glare, “what was i supposed to do? show up unwelcome?”

“well, nothing was stopping you. was i at least a strong sorcerer?” he asks in wonder.

you think for a moment before nodding. “yeah,” you say thoughtfully, “one of the strongest.”

“nice,” he grins—he seems a bit too pleased for something that happened in your dreams.

you decide to deal the harsh blow. “but not nearly as strong as satoru. you know he was the literally the strongest?”

“okay,” he scowls, “if you do kill blue-eyed people, start with him.”

you giggle, leaning up to kiss his jaw as he lets a soft grin pull over his features. he laughs with you—and suddenly, you’re both chuckling together uncontrollably.

it’s a bit of a silly circumstance, but he kisses your forehead and means it when he says, “sorry i left you to kill people and led a cult and committed a bunch of crimes while i wiped out a whole group of people. i didn’t mean it.”

“you took the kids too,” you remind him.

“i don’t know what i was thinking,” he shakes his head, “those two are a handful. how was i managing being a single father with all that on my plate?”

“that’s why you shouldn’t have left me,” you point out.

“you’re right,” he agrees, “i’ll invite you if i ever snap and lose my sanity.”

“good. you’re forgiven. now, i want chocolate chip pancakes—and make coffee while you’re at it.”

“yeah, whatever,” he rolls his eyes. he kisses you though, a soft little peck over your lips as you hum into the kiss and cup his cheek, “you got it. whatever you want.”

“i want you,” you murmur, “unhinged sorcerer and all.”

he laughs at the craziness of it all—but he loves it anyway, loves you despite it all.

“and i want you too,” he grins, hopelessly in love, “if you’ll do me the honors and join my crazy sorcery schemes.”

hi i’m tee and i had a dream that my rude ass sister stole my car and totaled it and now im very mad at her and i am not speaking to her until she apologizes. she refuses so im now double mad

[solxamber]

do you do skully graves and reader (platonic)? If u do can like a qiqi!reader or huohuo!reader who helps him with stuff whilst either talking to ghosts are just being a forgetful zombie , thanks

Skully J. Graves x Huohuo! Reader

hi! I tried my best to adapt his personality to the new parts of event story, you can let me know if you wanted something different!

The fog clung to the streets, curling like ghostly fingers around every corner of the village. The eerie ambiance would have sent shivers down most people’s spines, but not Skully J. Graves. No, he basked in it, breathing in the cold, misty air with a grin so wide it would have made Jack Skellington proud. He adjusted his coat, looking proudly over the plans for his ideal Halloween.

“No lights,” he muttered, scribbling frantically on a scrap of parchment. “No candy. And absolute, complete darkness.” His grin widened, almost maniacal. “Perfect.”

“Skully, uh… why would anyone want a Halloween with no candy?” A soft voice broke his concentration, and he glanced up to see you, the strange friend who always seemed to be muttering to thin air. Except, in your case, it wasn’t thin air.

Around you, unseen to everyone else, lingered several translucent spirits, floating lazily like they didn’t have a care in the world. One of them—a particularly cheeky ghost with a mischievous smirk—whispered in your ear.

“No candy, no fun,” you echoed what the ghost said, looking between Skully and the air with slight anxiety. “I think he might be right, Skully… What if people just want to, you know, enjoy themselves?”

Skully rolled his eyes, barely hiding a grin. “Candy is for the weak. Jack Skellington never handed out candy. He—wait, what do you mean he might be right?” His eyes narrowed, staring directly where one of the ghosts hovered. “You talking to them again?”

You shrugged, giving a sheepish smile. “They’ve got opinions too, you know.”

Before Skully could respond, you were back to murmuring to another ghost. “No, no, no, I’m not ignoring you… Okay, okay, I’ll tell him.” You turned back to Skully. “Uh… the ghost by the market says you should maybe reconsider the ‘no lights’ thing. Might freak out the little ones.”

Skully crossed his arms, huffing. “Freaking out is the point, my dear! A true Halloween isn’t about fun and games. It’s about terror, darkness, and—beating up ghosts, obviously.”

One of the spirits around you let out a melodramatic wail, clearly offended. You winced, giving Skully a helpless look. “You really hurt their feelings…”

Skully sighed dramatically, waving his hand dismissively. “They’ll get over it. I’m just saying—Jack would agree with me.”

“He’s still mad you didn’t give him that apple the other day,” you added as if that were part of the conversation.

Skully paused, blinking at you. “Wait… what?”

“Not important!” you quickly blurted, pushing past the topic, eyes darting to the spirits floating around you. “But, hey, how about we add a few spooky lights, you know? Like those lanterns with creepy faces carved into them? It’d keep the kids from getting totally lost and still fit your dark aesthetic.”

Skully stared at you for a long moment, his intense eyes seeming to bore into your soul—or maybe into the spirits’ souls. You couldn’t really tell. Finally, he sighed, rubbing his temple. “Fine. Some lights. But only the spookiest kind.”

One of the spirits around you cheered silently, and you grinned. “See, compromise works!”

As you helped Skully finalize his Halloween of nightmares, you couldn’t help but think about how strange this dynamic was. You, a soft-hearted (if slightly anxious) spirit-communicator, and Skully, a Halloween-obsessed enigma who idolized Jack Skellington. And yet, somehow, you made the perfect team.

Then came the moment where you had to address the elephant in the room—or rather, the ghosts in the air. As you adjusted some spooky decorations, one of the ghosts began wailing about something from the past. You sighed, turning to Skully with a rare moment of seriousness.

“Skully, can we pause for a second?”

He glanced up from his pile of cobwebs and fake skeletons, raising an eyebrow. “What now? Another ghost’s feelings hurt?”

“No… it’s just…” You bit your lip. “I know I act a little… goofy sometimes. But I do take what I do seriously, you know? Helping these ghosts—it’s important to me.”

For the first time, Skully looked a little taken aback. He slowly straightened up, gazing at you with something close to admiration. “I know. You’re weird, but you’re good at what you do.” He hesitated before giving you a rare, almost tender smile. “Thanks for… you know… always being here.”

You grinned, a warmth spreading in your chest at the compliment. “Hey, someone’s gotta make sure your Halloween doesn’t turn into complete chaos.”

“Chaos is the goal!” Skully insisted, but there was a softness in his eyes that hadn’t been there before.

And as you two continued working on what was sure to be the weirdest, most ghost-infested Halloween in history, you couldn’t help but feel like—just maybe—this peculiar friendship (and the random ghosts) were exactly where you were meant to be.

Masterlist

[stuckinthesun]

“You got a little something…” Sanji x Fem!Reader

Kinktober — Week One: Food play (whipped cream), semi-public sex, against a wall, desperate

When you guys docked The Sunny at the nearest Island, your guy’s plan had been the usual one: split up, stock up, load up, move on. But when the crew got to the main village of the small island to see the townspeople in the midst of setting up for a large Halloween party, the plans instantly changed.

Luffy was more than happy to invite himself and his crew to this village's festivities and, of course, put his friends to work to make up for their intrusion. You and Sanji were obviously put on food and drink, getting no complaints from your boyfriend as he was already talking to the local chef about tonight's menu.

You smile at the blonde fondly and follow after him, ready to be his sue chef.

Hours later, the town was a beautiful sight. Pumpkins, both carved and plain, decorated the steps of the buildings; orange lights glittered in the trees, and all kinds of spooky Halloween decorations were set up on the main street, making the local kids laugh.

It was nice, and the townspeople were so lively and festive. You couldn’t wait to go out there and enjoy it after finishing your job serving food to everyone.

“Darling, please, I can handle this myself,” Sanji complained again as he came towards you with another stack of delicious food to be passed out, “grab some food for yourself and enjoy the party.”

You smiled at him, taking the tray of food from him and handing him your empty one, “Now, how am I supposed to enjoy the party without my date, hmm?”

Sanji’s cheeks flush bright red, making you giggle.

“Sorry, baby! I’m almost done, I promise! I’ll be out to enjoy the party with you soon, don’t you worry!” Your boyfriend shouted much too loudly as he started running back to the kitchen, bumping into people as he went. You just smiled at him and nodded before turning around and batting away the rubber hand that tried to steal another helping of food.

After you finish serving the last of the food, you don’t get to see Sanji again for twenty minutes as he helped the local chef clean up. As you waited for your boyfriend to join you for the night, you got yourself a drink, finally allowing yourself to unwind.

“I’m here!” You hear a familiar voice call out, and you smile as you turn to see Sanji jogging up to you, “I’m here, my sweet!”

“Never doubted you,” You chuckled, giving him a kiss when he finally made it to you.

“And as an apology for making you wait,” Sanji beamed a cheeky smirk at you as he held out a plate. You looked down and saw a delicious-looking dessert with what looked like freshly whipped cream, making your eyes widen.

“Did you seriously make all of this? Is that a short amount of time?” You ask, taking the plate from him.

“What, you doubt my skills?”

“Of course not.” You roll your eyes with a smile and take a bite of the dessert.

Instantly your eyes close and an involuntary moan escape’s your lips at the sweet taste. Sanji’s cooking is always flawless, but his baking is almost just as good.

“Gods this is amazing,” You mumble, looking up at your boyfriend to see him staring at you with wide eyes and red cheeks.

“I’m glad.” He said quietly, voice sounding like it was caught in his throat.

You furrowed your eyebrows, “Are you-“

“Have another bite.” Sanji quickly cut you off, almost demanding, as he nodded his head towards your dessert.

You narrowed your eyes and slowly took another bite. This time when you bit into your treat, a smear of whipped cream got on your cheek.

You sighed, ready to ask your boyfriend to grab you a napkin, when he reached up, cupped your chin, and pressed his thumb against your skin. Slowly, Sanji began to smear the cream along your lips before sliding his thumb between them, forcing the whipped cream inside.

Eyes widening, your grip on the dessert plate tightened as you stood there shocked. You instinctually began to suck on the digit in your mouth, feeling heat pool between your legs as you watched Sanji’s eyes stay fixated on your lips wrapped around his thumb, almost like he was in a trance.

Sanji’s gaze seemed to grow hungrier as he started sliding his thumb from your mouth, the whipped cream now licked clean, and pulling your bottom lip down along with it.

Finally his eyes met yours again.

“Do you mind if I keep you from the party just a little longer, Doll?” Sanji muttered, and you shook your head immediately.

Without another word, Sanji grabbed you by the hand and began pulling you between buildings, trying to get as far from the party as possible. You scramble to set your dessert down on a nearby table as you’re dragged away, knowing for sure that Luffy will find it before you return.

Anticipation tingled your skin and you quickly followed behind him. You had honestly never seen your boyfriend like that before, and it heated your core to see the pure want in his eyes.

The moment Sanji deems the two of you far enough away, he has you pressed up against a wall in a desperate kiss.

You sigh into the kiss, reaching up to grip him by his dress shirt and pull him closer. Sanji pushed himself flush against you, rolling his hips against yours, letting you feel just how hard he already is.

You pull back from the kiss, “Fuck Sanji, what’s gotten into you all of a sudden?”

“Dunno,” The blond mumbles, leaning down to kiss along your neck making you moan, “Just need you.”

With a nod you slid your hands down his torso, unbuttoning his dress pants and untucking his dress shirt. Sanji’s hands trailed along your thighs and up your skirt to grip your panties, yanking them down in one fluid motion.

“Fuck~” You hiss when the cool air hits your warm center, making you want to close your legs and rub your thighs together.

You don’t even get the chance as you’re suddenly picked up, legs wrapping around Sanji’s waist as he suddenly buries himself inside of you.

“O-oh gods! Sa-Sanji!” You cry out, tears flooding your eyes at the sudden intrusion.

“Couldn’t wait anymore, Princess.” Is Sanji’s response, his voice sounding deeper than usual, “I’m sorry I promise to make you feel so good.”

“Please,” You whimper, holding onto your boyfriend for dear life. His long cock fills you so well, just kissing your cervix and driving you nuts.

You want him to move.

“Fuck.” Sanji groans and gives you just what you need.

He starts thrusting up into you hard and fast, his powerful leg’s useful for more than just fighting. Both of you moan loudly and cling onto each other tighter. Sanji’s face is tucked against your neck, dragging open mouth against your skin while you grip fistfuls of his hair.

It’s all so much; you can still hear the music from the party, see the orange light’s glittering in Sanji’s hair, watch your breath in the cool October night air.

You can feel how his cock hits your sweet spot just right, every time. Causing shivers to go down your spine and loud moans to pass your lips.

Heat builds in your abdomen until you can’t hold it anymore, “Sanji I’m gonna-“

“Me too, love,” Sanji grunts, his thrusts becoming sloppy in a telltale sign of his own orgasm, “Fuck, baby, me too. Cum for me, don’t be shy.”

“Sanji!” You cry out, cumming hard with only his cock inside of you.

The feeling of you cumming around him pulled Sanji off the edge right along with you, making him spill inside of you.

The two of you just stayed like that for a minute, panting against the wall, trying to catch your breath.

After a little bit, Sanji pulled away and looked at you sheepishly, “Sorry about all… that.”

You blink at him before smirking slowly, “I don’t know, I kinda like it. Maybe I should’ve brought the dessert and let you lick some of the whipped cream off of me.”

You felt his now soft dick inside of you twitch and slowly begin to harden again.

You look at him.

Sanji looks at you.

You’ll definitely have to remember this.

Let’s pretend I didn’t get really sick and actually was able to post this on week one AND that the ending isn’t rushed okay

[sophswritingthings]

Uhm I don’t know if this is good but I was thinking for part eight of the apothecary reader series and maybe apothecary reader and Mizu when they met Taigen and they like discover what Taigen used to say to Mizu and they just glare sharply at Taigen whenever he speaks or just exist in the same room as Mizu and and her eyes are just darker with thoughts of violence and stabby (basically the reader being as civil as can be meanwhile there is an aggressive war of how to kill him and if they should do it) and Taigen just being like- “Please control your wife😰” and Mizu’s just drinking(or eating) something the reader made for them and she’s just like “hmm no, I don’t feel like it” but in reality Mizu is as terrified(and very much attracted) of the new face of the reader they are seeing

I don’t know I made it up on the spot 😅

pairing: mizu x fem!apothecary!reader

warning(s): swearing, mentions of violence 

a/n: even though we already have pt 8, I’m still gonna write this for you cuz I liked the idea!!

summary: mizu and her wife meet taigen; and you learn of what he did to her as a small kid. you're pissed; obviously, that was your wife he was talking about. you wanted to kill him for the things he said; but you knew maybe that wasn’t the… best idea.

word count: 550 words / 3,012 characters 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

settled down the wood cabin, you watched over your wife as she slept. she was still injured, after the fight, and you wanted to make sure nobody disturbed her.

you were glancing at taigen every so often. you knew that mizu knew him from her childhood; but you honestly wanted to know more.

especially because he kept talking about some… death duel, with mizu. and that made your blood boil.

you heard a groan to your left, your head whipping around to look at your wife.

“careful! careful,” you said in a hushed voice, helping her slowly sit up. “you're hurt, love, you need to be careful with yourself.”

“I’m fine,” she murmurs, glancing at taigen. she groaned, narrowing her eyes. “what is he doing here?”

your wife’s obvious disdain for taigen was something you wanted to know more about.

“um, he helped us get here,” you whisper back. “is there a reason you have such a problem with him? he seems… okay.”

“he tried to kill me as a child,” she spat the last word. “is that not reason enough?”

“.. excuse me?” you narrow your eyes, sending a glare the man’s way. “you fucking—jesus, you tried to kill him as a child?”

“he is an onryō,” taigen adverted his gaze. “there was a prize attached to his killing; and the village kids would always dare each other to do it.”

“even as a child?” you cock your head, your gaze never leaving taigen's eyes.

all the ways you thought of taking down this horrible man were now flooding through your head.

poison? the least messy.

ambush? secret, not easy to find out, but… messy.

you're gaze locked onto his as you thought up each and every idea.

“control your wife,” taigen hissed, his eyes narrowed at mizu across the room. “she’s scaring me.”

mizu chuckles in between sips of her tea, “is the big bad samurai scared of a little someone?”

“get her,” taigen points straight at you.

you giggle, placing a hand over your mouth as you do so.

“hmm—I’m not sure I want to,” mizu smirks a little, going back to drinking her tea.

you never let your gaze leave taigen, hoping to scare him out of the room—to be left alone with your wife.

“why do you keep staring at me, anyway?”

“thinkin’ of all the ways your life could end in mere seconds,” you giggle again. the giggle is very deceptive of your real thoughts.

taigen looked terrified.

you glance over at mizu, who is watching you with plenty of interest—a little bit of a blush on her face.

your words eventually drive taigen to leave; slamming the door shut behind him.

you lean your head on mizu's shoulder, smiling softly as you snuggled up to your wife. she brushed a hand through your hair.

“I love when you get like that, you know,” she whispers into your ear, placing a soft kiss behind your earlobe. “it is.. a little worrying though.”

“worrying?” you lean into her kissed, feeling them start to travel up and down your neck. “I'd never hurt you… or ringo, for that matter.. assholes like that, though,” you grumble, adverting your eyes. “deserve it.”

her hands climb onto your waist, gently straddling it between her fingers.

“I suppose you're right…”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

[love-fictional-ppl]

Petite!fem!reader w/ a high metabolism

Part 1

༚༅༚˳✿˳༚༅༚

Summary: this is part 2 to a request. reader goes off on “almond mom” for judging her for eating while out w her man🤞

Pairings: Sabo x reader, Trafalgar D. Water Law x reader

Warnings: language, Karens, mentions of sex, drinking, food (obviously), characters are kinda ooc

A/N: this was requested so long ago and I genuinely feel horrible for how long you have had to wait for a part 2. I hope that you atleast enjoy this @babbiebooc

༚༅༚˳✿˳༚༅༚

Sabo:

Tbh he finds it cute

Is that bitch that compares it to his little brother

Will ask you if you ate or if you’re hungry

Doesn’t fuss too much about your eating since he knows you can handle yourself

The revolutionary army had sent troops to an island village. You and Sabo at the moment had plenty of downtime.

“Sabooooo, I’m hungryyyy,” you whine.

“Let’s go get a bite to eat then,” Sabo replies. Wandering around looking for a tavern or restaurant, you finally spot a tavern.

You and Sabo find a spot to sit, out of the way but able to observe who came in and out. You were especially hungry today having ate nothing all day. You decided you didn’t mind spending money since you had just gotten paid.

Sabo ordered himself something to eat and a drink. You both chat and enjoyed your food and each other’s presence.

After a moment you noticed the slight frown on Sabo’s face. You sat and listened for a second and heard a woman talking with her family.

“It baffles me how some women can’t even have the decency to use proper table manners in front of their men,” you were fuming hearing her words.

Before you could do anything, Sabo spoke up, “And it baffles me you don’t even have the decency to talk about somebody you don’t know out of earshot.”

The woman looked flushed and overall embarrassed, nonetheless she went back to eating silently this time.

You couldn’t help feeling butterflies after seeing Sabo stick up for you.

“You know, that was really hot,” you told him.

“Was it?” He responded, cheeky.

“Why don’t we head on out of here?”

Sabo didn’t respond, he simply set down a sack full of berries to pay. He then, grabbed your hand pulled you and dragged you out the place.

Trafalgar D. Water Law:

He doesn’t really care honestly

In his opinion eating is healthy therefore if you wanna eat a entire buffet, knock yourself out

He only finds it odd that you eat so much but barely put on 2 pounds

Thinks ur stomach is a wormhole

You were hungry and wanted to get something to eat, Law originally wasn’t gonna come but then after 10 minutes he decided to join you.

You browsed the market set up in the town considering cooking something yourself, then you spotted a restaurant with the best looking desserts.

Law wandered off to go find a bar but promised he would return. In the meantime you decided to order yourself almost the entire menu.

While you were busy chowing down on a chocolate cake u hear a woman talking a few little girls. Maybe her daughter and her friends?

You hear the withered looking woman say, “You see how she’s sitting alone, that’s for a reason. Eat like that and you’ll be just like her when you’re big girls.”

You started tearing up out of frustration. “Actually you witch, there’s a reason why I eat the way I do. And I’m not alone, thank you very much, I have a boyfriend who will be here any minute. When he does get here me and him will be leaving to go have sex, have a good day.” You slammed the money on the table, oblivious to the fact Law had just witnessed the whole thing.

You heard Law say something like stupid cunt and turned around to see him glaring at the woman.

You almost started sobbing out of relief to see him. Law stared back at you with a relaxed smile and calmly asked, “so are we gonna go have sex?”

Laughing uncontrollably, you reply, “hell yes.”

Smiling like idiots, you walk back to the ship hand in hand.

༚༅༚˳✿˳༚༅༚

A/N: ok so I was gonna include kid but my tumblr is glitching where every time I save the draft it deletes his part😭😭

[hannahssimblr]

She’s on the swings. The sun is setting and tossing long shadows across the ground. It catches her, the lone, moving figure, idly swinging, looking out towards the dunes ahead of her while the breeze rustles the leaves. 

The gate squeaks, and she turns and smiles at me. 

“Hogging the swings?” I say.

“Yeah, obviously. I didn’t want any of the kids to have it, so I’ve been holding fort all day.”

“Good strategy.” I slump into the one next to her, and the bark mulch scrapes under my runners. “I didn’t expect to see you here, to be honest.”

“Nor I you.”

“Well, I was out walking.”

��“And I was swinging,” she smiles, this specific half smile she does whenever she knows she has charmed me. “To be honest, I’m just waiting for the sun to go down.”

“You like the sunset, hm?”

“Yes, but not because of that, exactly. See, Kelly goes to her room and stays there once it gets dark. She doesn’t sleep for ages, but at least I know she’ll be in her room watching TV, and I won’t encounter her.”

I frown. “Something up between you and Kelly?”

She just laughs. An understatement, I presume. “Kelly and I fell out. I don’t think that we’re friends anymore.”

“Oh.”

“Yeah, but there’s like, three weeks left of summer, so I’m going to have to just hang around the village and suffer until then.”

“Is that really what you’ve been doing? Just walking around all day?”

“Well, no, I’ve been swimming, and running, and drawing, and exploring, and things, but basically, yeah, I’ve just been avoiding her.”

“Why?”

“Because I don’t enjoy fighting. I don’t like it when people don’t like me.”

“You think she dislikes you? Surely it’s just been a falling out. She’ll come around.”

She gives me a sidewards glance. “I don’t think Kelly ever really liked me, to be honest. I think we were just friends because that’s how it was.” 

“Ah.”

“You ever have that?”

“Not really.”

“Of course not.”

I curl my hand around one rope of her swing and change the rhythm, rocking her side to side so that her side gently bumps against mine with every sway. “So, do you want to talk about what happened between you?”

She dips her head in a laugh, and her hair brushes over her thighs. “I think it was more about what we didn’t say to each other, if I’m honest. I’ve been thinking about it a lot the last few days, and I think she was just waiting to find something to get mad at me about.”

“She’s vindictive.” I state. 

“Yeah, I suppose. She’s very sensitive and stuff. It upset her that I was late back from your house last week, because she and I were supposed to go swimming together. She thinks that I’m choosing my new friends over her, or something, which isn’t true. It’s not like, you know… like, we’re not friends or anything, yet, are we?” She peers at me around the curtain of her hair. 

“C’mon Evie, you’re my friend.”

“Oh, okay.”

“Don’t worry about Kelly. She’s clearly jealous of you.”

She rolls her eyes. “Yeah right.”

“It’s true!”

“That’s something my mam would say to make me feel better about bullies. Nobody is ever actually jealous.”

“Of course she is. Why wouldn’t she be?”

“Um! Because!”

“Because?” I prompt. “There’s a million reasons why. You know, I’ve seen this so many times at school. If you’re smarter or more popular or get more attention, there are people who aren’t going to like that, you know? Especially girls.”

“Are you an expert on teenage girls?”

“No, but I’m just telling you what I’ve seen.”

“Well, even if that’s true, I’m not smarter or more popular than Kelly, so.”

But she is one hundred times more beautiful. 

I wouldn’t dream of saying that part out loud, but it’s so true that I am stunned she can’t see it. Watching her now, with that slash of neon sunset light across her face, her long, swanlike neck, and pouty, sad little mouth, my body feels a bit weak. I fear the torture of our friendship, that being around her will have me forever on the cusp of trying to kiss her. 

“People like Kelly don’t grow up to be very happy people,” I tell her, as a sea breeze kicks in and throws her jasmine smell under my nose. I release my hold on her swing and back away. “Sad and angry people grow up to have sad and angry lives, and boring jobs and boring hobbies and no friends to hang out with.”

“Could happen to any of us.”

“Not you, Kilbride. Never! And not me either, if I can do anything about it.”

“Yeah, not when you go away to college.” her mouth flattens into a line. “You’ll be happy then.”

“Yeah. I suppose I will. You too, though,” I say, softening. “College is meant to be when everyone finds themselves, or whatever. I think you’ll have the best years of your life there.”

“Here’s hoping.”

 The heat goes from the village with the sun, and the lights flicker on, one by one, along the edge of the strand road.

“It’s kind of depressing that you just walk around on your own all day. Why didn’t you ever text me?”

A shrug. “Dunno.”

“Claire hangs out with us all the time. You can too. If you want.”

“I just don’t want to be annoying, I suppose.”

“You’d never annoy me. Why don’t you come over now, and we can watch a film? With the whole gang, obviously.” I add with haste. “We have loads of snacks and stuff, and I can just drive you home later on.”

“Really?”

“Yes!”

“That actually sounds really nice.”

“Good, c’mon then.” 

And as we amble through the playground together, discussing the kind of horrible film the guys must have chosen for us, it is the strangest thing, but I catch myself almost reaching for her hand.

Beginning // Prev // Next

[half-an-hour-hence]

Some random headcanons for the ghosts if they were alive today (part 1)

JAMES

I’m so unoriginal but he works in a war museum as a tour guide. He’s often assigned to showing kids on school trips around because he’s always so excited to answer all of their questions.

People call him ‘Captain’ because of his obsession with war (specifically the events of WW2), not because he’s actually served in the army. He did apply, but failed his medical exam.

His joint pain gets really bad sometimes, so he occasionally carries a cane to help.

James met Havers when he was in a cafe with Humphrey; he caught his eye when they were in line waiting to order and couldn’t stop glancing over at him after he’d sat back down. Humphrey - ever the wingman - caught on immediately and asked Havers to join them in the hopes that James would actually speak to him. It worked, and they’ve been together for two years now.

MARY

Works as an independent artist and sells her abstract art online. She’s had multiple exhibitions as well. She can also sew and crochet, and she sometimes sells what she makes at markets. Most of the time she just gives things away to her friends, though.

She lives in one of those loft apartments with her girlfriend, Annie. Annie runs the cafe that the Captain met Havers in, and they met at one of Mary’s exhibitions. They’ve been together for three years.

Goes out of her way to slag off men on Twitter.

Was internet best friends with Kitty before finding out she lived literally down the road from her. They’ve been inseparable ever since. They go travelling to little villages in the middle of nowhere specifically to spend hours in those quaint antique shops.

ROBIN

He works at the local university as a physics professor. He’s quite an enthusiastic and entertaining teacher, often giving visual demonstrations of how things work to try and make his lessons more interesting and enjoyable.

Co-runs a conspiracy blog on Tumblr with Sophie, Humphrey’s girlfriend.

Robin is obviously very passionate about space, so he owns several telescopes and frequently hikes up hills in the middle of the night to study the stars and the moon. He also runs an astronomy club at the university.

This isn’t necessarily a new thing, but he’s an excellent listener, and wants to include everyone. He’s the only one who’ll stick around when James starts talking about the Second World War. He’s doing a French Duolingo course with Humphrey. He isn’t afraid to try new things, like sewing with Mary or cruising with Julian (although he’s never doing that again).

[wisecrackingeric-2]

One question that’s been on my mind a lot lately whenever I’m trying to analysis Luis’ childhood is,,,,,, did Luis know or understand why his Grandfather did what he had to do???????

Cuz like,,,, obviously Luis was there when the wolves attacked him- in fact it’s even implied to have been Luis’ fault somehow, as he probably distracted his Grandfather and let his guard down like kids do and this left him open to being attacked by the wolves- but did Luis understand why Bitores had to burn down his home with his Grandfather inside?????? Surely he didn’t read the notes his Grandfather made, right????? And he was, what, 10-12 years old at most??????? He was just a little kid!!!!!!!! I can’t even IMAGINE what must’ve been running through his mind as he watched his childhood home and everything he loved inside of it burn down!!!!!!

BUT EVEN BEFORE THAT TOO- can you guys imagine how Luis must’ve felt watching the ONE PERSON he has in his life slowly deteriorate from the wolf bite??????? Can you imagine how confused he must’ve been?????? Did ANY other villagers help him??? Did Méndez ever come over and offer his support?????? How quickly did his Grandfather deteriorate?? Days???? Weeks??????

Not to mention the fact that Luis probably internalised the situation as being HIS FAULT. Because in his child mind, who else is there to blame?? How else is he supposed to rationalise the situation in a way a kid can understand???? He was obviously a bit of a child prodigy but kids are still kids who will latch onto anything that can logistically explain a situation

So how did he feel watching MÉNDEZ burn down his childhood home with his Grandfather inside???? The ONE OTHER PERSON who ever showed him care and affection- who listened to him ramble about his tales of chivalry- was also the same person responsible for burning down everything he loved. Did he understand WHY he had to do that?????? Did Méndez ever tell him??????? Did his GRANDFATHER ever warn him??????????? Did he KNOW what was about to happen, or was he left thinking this was all spontaneous and unexplainable????? Luis and his Grandfather were kind of implied to have been outcasts of the village- so I can only imagine this must’ve been an even bigger stab to the back (hah)

((I also think it’s. So. S O UNBELIEVEBLY POIGNANT that Luis was described to have just. Stood there. Staring at his home burning down. Completely unmoving. Like he didn’t even CRY. NOT ENOUGH PEOPLE TALK ABOUT THAT DETAIL MAN THATS SO DEVASTATING???????? HE WAITED THERE UNTIL M O R N I N G TO LEAVE????????????????? I WANNA MAKE A WHOLE POST ON THAT BY ITSELF THATS SO S A D ))

But anyways back on track- did Luis ever hold any RESENTMENT towards his Grandfather after he’d left Valdelobos and made a life for himself??? Cuz that’s kind of what I always thought for a while, just off of gut instincts alone- did he feel resentment that his Grandfather never showed him the outside world????? That he burned himself to the ground without saying anything???????? Did he ever internalise that grief and anger and self-resentment????????

Or was it the opposite????? Did he hold his Grandfather so near and dear to his heart that he dedicated EVERYTHING he ever did to him????? All the things he dreamed of doing as a child- all the things his Grandfather encouraged- he finally got to achieve it all. He finally got to become a prestigious scientist and work on a cure for the very things that took his Grandfathers life- only for that to come crumbling down around him too. Just like how his home burnt.

And when he tries to return home, tries to find solace and comfort where he once grew up- instead he finds a completely unrecognisable, cult-driven village that forces him to make the same things that killed his Grandfather. That’s DEVASTATING MAN.

Did he ever get to read his Grandfathers journal entries???????? If he did, how did he react, if he reacted at all?????????? Would he have been angry???????? In denial??????????? Or would he have just stood there silently just like he did when his home burnt down for the first time????????

There’s also just. The devastating fact that if I Leon hadn’t found him, Luis would have died in the exact same place his Grandfather did all those years ago. That cycle of pain would never have ended and he’d be buried nameless alongside his mistakes.

And on kind of a related note, I find it so interesting that Luis chose Leon, Ashley and Ada to be the stars in his version of Don Quixote- when, assumedly, the only other person he’d ever truly expressed his love for that book towards was his Grandfather and Mendez. I think that’s just. SO TELLING MAN.

AND and on a similar note, again, Mendez was implied to be an almost secondary father figure to Luis- so hell!!!! Imagine how he must’ve felt seeing him become so beyond recognition!!!!!!!! Again, would he have understood why????????? How would he have reacted???????????

Tl;dr:

I wanna know if baby Luis understood why his Grandfather did what he had to do. I wanna know if he knew the reasons behind why his home burnt down, or if he thought it was simply just a cruel twist of fate.

[donfermin]

INTERVIEW WITH EL 10 DEL BARÇA

[Disclaimer: neither English nor Spanish is my first language, so there may be mistakes. This is not a word-for-word translation; there are some parts I have simplified. Some interviewer comments were also omitted because they were not important.]

Victor Palacios: First of all, how are you and how is the team currently doing?

Personally, I’m doing well and the dynamic of the team is great, we hope to continue like this on Sunday to get another three points.

VP: Girona is next. Are you surprised by Girona?

Yes, I think they are having a good season and they are a great team that will make it difficult for us.

VP: The team had a high during the matches against Porto and Atlético Madrid, which for me was the best of the season. I don’t know to what extent that slump before those two matches affected the team. Do you think that the press (us included) was too unfair to the team?

What we have to do is to leave what comes from the outside a little bit aside. We ourselves and the coach know how we work on a daily basis and the things we do well and also the things we do badly. We had a bad streak where we couldn’t play well, as the coach asked us to. And I think that now we have turned the situation around and we’re very happy.

Miguel Ángel Ruiz: I’m curious about many things because your career is like a dream of any footballer. You come from a village of just over 2000 people, El Campillo de Huelva, you go through a very hard stage because, as you’ve said on other occasions, you were physically smaller than the rest, and finally, when you hit your stride, you get the disappointment of being sent on a loan to Linares, but then you return to the first team. I don’t know if you are aware that you are fulfilling the dream of any child, of any person, especially Barça fans, of reaching the first team with such a beautiful story.

Yes, in the end, I’m lucky to be living what I’m living. It was my dream since I was a child, to be here at Barça. It is true that, as I have said on different occasions, I had some difficult moments, but I, like everyone else, have been able to overcome them and now I’m fulfilling my dream and I’m very happy.

MAR: Who is your best friend in the team and the one who has helped you the most?

My best friend is Gavi. I get along with everyone, but Gavi is like my brother.

MAR: Is he also the one who has helped you the most?

Yes, when I was having a hard time too, because he was there with me for most of my time at La Masia and also during pre-season, he helped me a little to integrate into the team.

VP: Is he animated now [referring to Gavi’s injury]?

Well… now he’s better.

VP: What I mean is if he’s mentally well enough to face the recovery.

Yes, he’s strong, he’s a warrior and at the beginning it was hard because they have taken away what he loves most and he’s not able to help us. But he’s very strong mentally and he’ll come back stronger, for sure.

MAR: Do you think Xavi should be our Ferguson?

In what sense?

MAR: You know that Ferguson is the longest-serving coach, namely in the sense that the project should be very long term and last as many years as possible.

I hope so, to be honest, because he [Xavi] was the one who trusted me and gave me the opportunity to be living what I am living now and I’m very happy.

VP: When you see that Xavi speaks so highly of you, that he has given you the opportunity, as you said, and you are obviously, everybody can see it, delivering on the pitch. When you hear one of the best, if not the best, midfielder that football has ever had talk about you, what comes to mind? Because I suppose you played as him in FIFA, of course.

Yes, I’ve seen him on television since I was a kid and it’s flattering that someone like the coach can think well of you. I try not to believe it too much, or else he will make me work even harder if I relax. I’ve always said that I’m grateful for the way he’s always treated me and I have to keep working hard and show that I can get more minutes.

VP: You are a Barça fan because of your uncle, right? Well, I’ve found out that you have a brother who is a Real Madrid fan. I guess you've already put him on the right path, haven't you?

That has already changed.

MAR: Luckily, you’ve been able to get him back on the right path and he’s regained his good taste in football. I wanted to ask you about President Laporta, who we often see coming to the dressing room to cheer the team up, but has he ever come down angry or to tell you off?

I think the President is a very positive person and very approachable. The truth is when he comes it is always for positive things and to give us strength and help us to move forward.

MAR: I also wanted to ask you about the issue of social media, which always generate a lot of controversy. There are good aspects, but also negative ones. Would you be in favour of avoiding controversy and everything that happens around Barça, as we have this toxic environment… Would you be in favour of banning social media for footballers?

Maybe, but almost all of us in the team don’t read the news. We try to avoid this, because for better or for worse, it’s not good. And banning them, well, everyone uses social media the way they want, but I don’t think it should be banned per se. Everyone wants to read what they want to read and that’s it. We try to stay away from that.

VP: In Madrid they say a lot of things, but why take them into account, right? But in Barcelona… That’s why I asked you one of the first questions about how all this affects the team. And you say that you don’t look at the press at all, you ignore it.

Yes, that’s true. At the end of day, we know what’s going on inside and what we are experiencing. Both when we need to improve and when things are going well, there is only us and that’s it.

VP: Is there a lot of bullshit being said, yes or no?

We don’t read them, but yes, some are nonsense.

MAR: Fermín, confess, have you ever seen Pedrerol’s Chiringuito (ed. El chiringuito de Jugones presented by Josep Pedrerol)?

Not now. When I was a kid, I used to think it was funny and all, but…

MAR: Xavi said in a press conference that the media and the environment were influencing the team, but you say you don’t read the press. In other words, you deny Xavi’s statement and it doesn’t influence you.

VP: Cancelo said no too.

It does not influence you, but it is true that in the end things reach you. But one thing is it reaches you and another if it influences you. I think the coach agreed, the coach said that outside Barça there is a toxic circle that is not good either.

VP: The pre-season goal against Real Madrid, what did you feel at that moment? Because I was shocked. It was early in the morning here and I think I woke my neighbours up with my scream.

I don’t even know what I felt, so imagine that.

MAR: Did any Real Madrid player say anything to you after the match?

Brahim? I think Brahim congratulated me or something like that. Well, they also lost, it’s unpleasant.

VP: What goal can you imagine scoring someday? That goal that makes you think “Oh shit, I hope it’s me”, right? With this shirt.

I don’t know. During the Champions League final, it would be great.

VP: Not bad.

MAR: Against Madrid.

Against Madrid would be better. If not, against whoever.

VP: A Champions League final, Barça-Real Madrid, with all due respect, I don’t want it. I’m really sorry Fermín, but I don’t want it.

MAR: I wouldn’t watch it. I don’t want to suffer. My heart can’t take it anymore. Listen, Fermín, you have always said that your idols are Messi, who has a similar story to yours because you were both small, and also Iniesta, right? But precisely because of that, how did you experience Messi’s departure? Did you cry at the final press conference?

I didn’t cry, but it was really sad. Everything I had experienced as a child with Barça was linked to Messi, Iniesta and Xavi and to see one of the greatest in history go… well, you can imagine.

MAR: The truth is that it was hard, we had a hard time. And who do you think was to blame for Messi’s departure?

I don’t know, to be honest. I have no idea. I don’t think there is anyone to blame. In the end, things happen and those who were there at the time know what happened and that’s all.

VP: This is a delicate question, but in the dressing room is there a feeling that, if it wasn’t for the refereeing, the team would have a lot more points? Well, maybe not a lot. A couple more points.

MAR: That is an understatement. Six or seven [points].

VP: They [the players] don’t control the situation, but I want to know…

It’s something we can’t control and that’s it.

MAR: Sure, but I want to know how the environment is.

Referees can make mistakes, just like us and that’s all. There is no need to think about it anymore. I wish they would always agree with us, but that’s the way it is.

MAR: Last season, Real Madrid would have won La Liga without the VAR. And their president, Florentino Pérez, has said through his puppet, Ancelotti, that VAR should not be used. What do you think, a 20-year-old kid used to technology, that we have the VAR technology and at the request of Real Madrid and because of Real Madrid’s interests, it is being used less and is harming the fairness of football?

Everyone is free to say what they want and whatever opinion they have, that’s all. I have nothing to say about this.

VP: Let’s talk about the great game against Shakhtar. It was a good night in the Champions League for you, as MVP, and you also scored a goal. I was at the stadium and I was freaking out. I posted several tweets saying “Fermín, what is this? What are you doing!” What a terrific night, wasn’t it?

Yes, it was. I think the team played a good game, although we suffered a bit at the end because Shakhtar is also a good team and they pushed us a bit at the end. But I think we played well and we had chances. I had two or three more chances to score and I’m sure I would have been a bit calmer at the end, but I think it was a great game.

VP: From the outside, it seems that we see everyone very easily and everyone has their quality, their stories, don’t they?

Of course. Every team nowadays can beat you and they are very well prepared physically and tactically. We are aware of that.

MAR: Which player from the current Real Madrid squad would you sign for Barça?

Nobody.

MAR: Nobody?

VP: What’s the matter? Don’t you believe it, Miguel Ángel?

MAR: They have good players as well. Not as good as ours, but…

The best players are here [at Barça].

MAR: That’s where I agree with you. I was going to ask you but I’m not sure anymore, as you said your best friend is Gavi. I was going to ask you who is better for you, Gavi or Bellingham?

Answer yourself. It’s obvious.

VP: I wanted to ask you about the time you went to play for Rafa Márquez [with Barça B] during a national team break, I think it was a game against Gimnàstic de Tarragona, if I’m not mistaken. Did you give an assist? [Fermín: No]Am I on the right track? And then you were sent off, wasn’t it?

Yes.

VP: I don’t know if you said to Xavi: “I’m going with the B team to help”, because it was a national team break. And I don’t know how you dealt with that moment, because then you continued to have opportunities with Xavi, everything went well. But at the time there was talk that you weren’t very…

It was a day to forget, to be honest. Because we had already agreed with Xavi that I was going to help the B team in that game, because in the end it was my team, it is my team. And nothing, I was excited because it was my debut too. It was the first official game I played with them and I don’t know, there were some decisions and they sent me off and it was a game to forget. On top of that we lost.

VP: Yes, there was a defeat. Listen, now I’m going to tell you a secret that I shouldn’t tell you. But who gave you the nickname Fermín Trujillo? [Fermín Trujillo is one of the main characters in La que se avecina played by actor Fernando Tejero]

I don’t know, everyone calls me that.

VP: But someone funny started it, for sure.

I think it was Abde [Ezzalzouli] or… well, Pedri. Pedri says it often: “Trujillo, Trujillo.”

VP: We have tried everything we could to get Fernando Tejero here today to greet you and surprise you. But eventually he’s got a lot of things to do and he couldn’t come. But it would’ve been great. Do you watch a lot La que se avecina?

Now I watch it more than before. When I’m a bit bored, I put it on for a while. But thank you very much.

MAR: Let’s talk about the Champions League. We are already in the quarter finals. Virtually first place [of the group], let’s hope so. Who are your favourites? Other than Barça, that hopefully will be at Wembley, who are your favourites this year?

I don’t have any favourite team other than Barça but there are very good teams, obviously: City, Madrid, Bayer, all of them. At Champions League level, they are all contenders.

VP: Final at Wembley. Barça against who?

It doesn’t matter, as long as we win. Give whoever it takes.

VP: You have a squad with which you can win and you are going for it, right? Do you think that the Champions League is in your mindset, a step beyond last year’s league?

Yes, obviously we aspire to win all the titles. That’s why we are Barça and we are obliged to fight for it and hopefully we can win everything. We trust in our squad, in the staff and hopefully it will happen.

MAR: Since you have spoken about Gavi, your best friend. I’d like to ask you how you feel about the fact that the Caverna Madridista and so on are calling Gavi, even though he’s a national team player, an aggressive player and treat him with such derogatory ways. Moreover, throughout its history, Madrid had some of the most aggressive players we know…

If that’s what they think [about Gavi], then they never saw him play. Or they don’t him. He has many qualities that are not often highlighted and he’s very important for the team.

MAR: When you were young, you know, we’ve seen Iniesta, he said he was a Madrid fan, he made a mistake, then he went too far and so on. You’ve always been a Barça fan since you were a little boy, of course. Why did you choose Barça? What did you like about Barça? Because, of course, in Catalonia it’s easy to be a Barça fan, but outside Catalonia it’s not easy at all, surrounded by madridistas. So, what made you become a Barça fan when you were young?

Mainly, because of my uncle, Juan Antonio, who is a huge culé. When I was a kid, he instilled it in me. I’ve always watched everything. Everything that is Barça. I’ve seen Messi, Iniesta, Xavi, Busquets, etc. I loved watching Barça and, since I was a kid, I had that love for Barça.

VP: Your favourite moment in Barça’s history, in the history you have lived through?

When there was the team I mentioned of Busquets, Xavi, Iniesta, Messi…

VP: But tell me a game, a game that made you say “I’m so excited, I can’t stand it anymore”.

The 5-1.

MAR: To Madrid?

Yes.

VP: That was with Valverde, wasn’t it, Miguel Ángel? I think it was with Valverde…

The one with Piqué, with the hand… That was 5-0.

MAR: Of course, that was with Mourinho. Anyway, I know that you don’t want to talk about referees and that it’s logical you don’t want to get into controversy, but I need to insist. I mean, we are competing in a league in which we have seen for the first time in history that they re-refereed a game last season, they even changed a report. We’ve seen Lewandowski get three games for touching his nose. Others go around punching people in the car parks and they don’t even get penalised. In short, we are unfortunately used to this. How does the team experience these things? How do the Barça players experience it from the inside?

It’s what I told you, isn’t it? These are things we can’t control and we don’t give them much importance. That’s all. We are only looking after our own, only at Barça, and that’s it. What’s outside is someone else’s matter.

VP: Do you like this interview thing? Because Gavi does a few, but I noticed that he likes the ball, playing football, killing himself for Barça and that’s fantastic, isn’t it? But you look comfortable. I don’t know if you like to be interviewed or not.

I think it’s something that is part of my profession and that’s it. When I have to do one, I’ll do it as well as I can. It’s not something I’m passionate about, nor do I dislike it.

VP: I think we have changed a lot, during all this time, and we saw it the other day with Aitana Bonmatí, your Barça Femení teammate, who replied to Cadena Cope after a match. Footballers now have such a power that they don’t even need to give interviews. One tweet and everything falls apart.

Yes, I did see that. Sometimes it’s normal that you reach the limit and you can reply and so on, but it’s better to isolate yourself and avoid problems.

[Introduction of the third host: Cerebro Culé (Mario)]

Cerebro Culé: First of all, you didn't want to get involved with the referees and I think that's normal, right? You talked about a bad streak. I’d like to ask you how much you think Barça loosing 7-8 starting players have had an influence. Because there are a lot of people who don’t value Barcelona’s game, while we’ve had so many absentees, and I’d like to know what your opinion is.

It's true that if affected us because they were very important players for us. I think that those of us who had the chance tried to give our best and on many occasions we did. And what went wrong we have tried to improve and now we are in a good dynamic and hopefully it will continue like that.

CC: Then you also said that your best friend is Gavi. You have defended Gavi over Bellingham, and you also don’t want to sign any Real Madrid player. The truth is that we culés love it. But aside from friendship, who do you think could be the leader of this Barça? From the outside we have the feeling that it could be Araujo or another player like Ter Stegen, but from inside the dressing room itself, who do you think could be the leader of this Barça? A Barça that, among other things, had lost some very important players in recent years.

I think that many important players have the ability to lead, as you said yourself. The captains, Robert, Sergi, Frenkie, Ronald, players who have more experience, can be the ones who can help us young players a little more. Well, Pedri sometimes seems like he’s not young and he’s already a leader, almost. I think almost all of them have the ability to lead the team.

CC: There’s one thing I’ve been thinking about for a long time. What goes through the head of a footballer who leaves Barcelona Atlètic and is loaned to Linares and in just a few months after his return he faces Real Madrid, he faces what is a Primera División team like Barça. On top of that scores a classic. It’s incredible, of course. What are your feelings? What goes through the head of a 20-year-old footballer when this happens to him? As I said, in just a few months.

I try to take it naturally. In the end, it’s what I have worked for and fought for since I was a child and I enjoy it day by day with my teammates who were my idols just a short time ago, and I try to take advantage of this situation and enjoy this experience, which is my dream.

VP: How are players like Lewandowski or Gündoğan in close proximity? Because I put myself in his [Fermín’s] situation and imagine going into a dressing room with guys, as we were talking about before, who he played as [in FIFA]. Incredible, right?

Yes, it impresses you. Obviously, they are world class players and it impresses you, but in the end, they are normal people, they are very good people and I have a good relationship with all of them, but yes, it really impresses you at the beginning.

VP: These are the people who support the young people when they go up.

Yes, always. They always try to help. Even if Lamine’s case is controversial, but everyone tries to help and especially those with more experience, perhaps like Robert or Gündo, in this case, who can help us young people a lot.

VP: What happens on the field stays on the field.

Yes.

MAR: Have you not been scolded by any veteran as happened to Lamine?

When they had to tell me something, they told me, obviously. That’s always good for improvement.

CC: It’s the last [question] I have prepared here, and I’d like you to describe yourself, Fermín as a player, because we have seen him many times in the box. I’d like to see him a little bit in Pedri’s position. How would you describe Fermín as a footballer and above all, what do you think you could improve on, what do you think you could bring to this Barça?

I think I am a player with good vision, ability to shoot, last pass. I am skilful. I’m a hard worker too, I consider myself a hard worker. And what I contribute? Maybe I can get into the second line, shoot from outside and just play my football. And when the coach decides, I try to contribute.

CC: And what is the limit for this Barça? For you, who are in it and live it day by day.

We have no limit. Never, but I believe we have a squad that can do important things and I am sure we will achieve them.

[Introduction of the fourth host: Martin Miñán]

Martin Miñán: I know you’ve been in the first team for a few months, but what do you think you’ve worked on maybe more with the coach, with the staff? I know it’s often said that they do personalised video work, improving an individual aspect or the understanding of the game, something that you’ve improved in these months.

In the end the coach has the Barça DNA, as they say, and from the youth system they prepare us to be here one day. It’s quite similar to what I’ve always been asked to do, but it’s true that every coach has his own nuances and the truth is that the coach has helped me a lot. In the end, he has been one of the best midfielders in the world and all I have to do is learn from him and everything he tells me is good for me.

MM: And I also wanted to ask you about the midfielders currently in the first team. Is there one that you look at in particular? That’s not to say that you don’t notice the others, but is there one that in training, during matches, that you noticed, that you copy some movements or something like that?

As you said, I look a lot at everyone, but maybe a little more at who plays in my position, like Pedri or Gavi, when he’s available. But I try to learn from everyone, Gündoğan, Frenkie. But maybe more at those who play a bit more forward, Pedri, Gavi, Joao Felix.

MM: Now that you are mentioning Joao Felix and that’s already the last question. If I may, last week we say you on his Instagram story, I think you were bringing him coffee, or tea, a hot drink, because you lost a bet. I don’t know if you can tell us what bet you lost with Joao and if there are any bets going on in the dressing room with any player right now.

We have a good relationship, we always look for fouls or finishes and so on, so if I lose, I need to make a cappuccino. And that day I lost and he recorded it.

MM: Thank you, Fermín, thank you for your time and I wish you success for the rest of the season and in particular for the three points on Sunday.

Thank you very much.

MAR: And we end the interview with a test we have prepared for Fermín.

VP: Very quick, very easy. Play, Nintendo or Xbox?

Play.

VP: A film?

Fast and Furious.

VP: A book?

I like Iniesta’s very much.

VP: A singer or a band?

Mike Towers.

VP: Do you like “El Barrio”? Since you are Andalusian?

Yes, very much so.

VP: I thought you were going to tell me “El Barrio”. Anyway, the title you dream of winning?

Anything right now, because it would be my first. But to win the Champions League would be terrific.

VP: Best moment at Barça?

Right now.

VP: The sports programme that you say, “Oh shit, I’d take this one off the television, I can’t stand it. Why do I have to watch this on television?”

I don’t watch TV much, really. When I watch TV, it’s often Netflix. I don’t know.

VP: Living in El Campillo or in the little flat in Barcelona?

In El Campillo.

VP: If you weren’t a footballer, would you be?

A physical trainer.

VP: And how is your Catalan? Is it okay?

Very good.

VP: Thank you very much, Fermín. What a pleasure to have you here.

Thank you very much.

[liliesonpandora]

Sins of the Parents: Chapter 1

Plot: Kiri is growing increasingly upset with Neytiri due to her treatment of Spider. Neytiri talks to Jake about the issue and he consoles her.

Warnings: familial conflict, Spider internal suffering😭

Neytiri sat alone in her family’s marui, chopping vegetables to add to the pot she had cooking on the fire. It was awfully quiet, except for the sizzling of the flame and the bubbling of the boiling stew. She longed for the chaotic sounds of her children, having not been away from them this long in weeks.

Jake had gone to assist Tonowari on an errand with the neighboring clans, and they took the kids with them for some extra hands. Jake wanted them to leave the village for a change of scenery… get them out of their heads for a little while.

Neytiri had stayed back to take care of her duties in the village. Thats what she told the kids. But really, she stayed back because she felt that she was not wanted there. Kiri was angry with her and tensions were high. She thought it would be best that she give her some space today.

She began to cook dinner while she waited for them to return. With everything that happened in the prior weeks, communal meals in the village were the last thing on everyone’s mind. It had been one month since the battle with the demon ship… one month since they laid Neteyam to rest. Her baby boy.

It wasn’t long before she heard the screeches of her family’s ikrans. She stood and went outside to greet them, her heart warming at the familiar sight. She was grateful to see that her children had not completely abandoned their forest culture, as they usually travelled by ilu now. When she scanned the scene before her, her body grew cold. One less ikran than before…

Jake dismounted his ikran and helped Tuk down next. Upon reaching the ground, her eyes locked on Neytiri and she ran into her mother’s arms. “Mama! I missed you.” Tuk cried.

Neytiri hugged her tight, warmth enveloping her once again as the scent of her youngest filled her nose.

“Tuk Tuk, my baby. I missed you too.” She said softly before releasing her to stand. “Did you have a good time today?”

“Yeah, dad let me help with a lot.”

“He did?” Neytiri glared over at Jake with a disapproving look. He shrugged, not sure how to respond.

“Hey, mom.” Lo’ak said as he walked over to his mother.

“My son…” she called to him while cupping his face and kissing his forehead.

“Mom,” he groaned. “We were only gone a few hours.”

“A few hours too many.”

One she released him, he took Tuk by the hand and they made their way up to the marui. She watched as they walked away, admiring how much Lo’ak had stepped up as an older brother. He has been so gentle with Tuk these days. It saddened her that he had to grow up so much faster. Once they were out of sight, she turned back to look at Kiri.

Kiri was helping Spider down from her ikran. He had been staying with the Sullys ever since the kids rescued him from the demon ship. Although Neytiri accepted the situation, she was not happy. She felt that he needed to return to his people at High Camp in the forest… but her family obviously disagreed.

She waited for Kiri to look in her direction and greet her, the way her other children had done. But Kiri avoided her mother’s gaze, unfortunately as expected. Neytiri looked to Spider next, to find that he was already looking her way. When they made eye contact, he quickly averted his gaze.

She decided to break the silence. “Ma ite… how was the journey?”

“It was fine, mom” she replied swiftly.

Neytiri was struck by her quick and cold response. She struggled to think of what to say in response, suddenly uneasy. “Alright, well you all were gone for so long… you must be hungry. Supper is almost ready, come on.”

“I’m not hungry,” Kiri said flatly before taking Spider’s hand and leading him towards their home. Spider glanced towards Neytiri one more time before turning away. He thought back to the first night he stayed with the Sully’s. Neytiri didn’t prepare him a dinner plate, and everyone had eaten separately because they were all preoccupied. No one noticed that he did not eat, and he was too ashamed to say anything... not wanting to be a burden. Kiri only found out after she inquired about his stomach grumbling at bedtime.

Neytiri claimed she had simply forgotten, but Kiri felt like her mother did it on purpose. Spider didn’t know what to think. He wanted to believe that Mrs. Sully would have fed him like any of her other kids. But he also knew that he wasn’t her kid… and she hated him. Still, it was easier to think the former. Neytiri hadn’t explicitly done anything wrong to Spider while he stayed with them… but she wasn’t exactly nice to him either. Kiri had been upset with her mom ever since.

Sometimes he felt like he really should go back to the forest. At least then he would be with Norm and Max, feeling like less of an outcast around the humans. But he wouldn’t see his friends… or Jake. Or his dad… his real dad. Quaritch was out there somewhere, and maybe he would come back for his son. Of course he didn’t want the Sully’s to get hurt. But just once, Spider wanted to feel wanted. To feel like he belonged to somebody. Sometimes he thought he was going to hell for saving his father. And sometimes he thought he was already living in a certain kind of hell, always suffering because of the kind of man his father was. But he wasn’t that man anymore, was he? At least, that’s what he said. But Spider wanted to believe him. He had called him “son,” saved him when Neytiri threatened him… that meant something.

Neytiri stood there frozen, watching them walk away and shocked at the way her daughter had spoken to her. Jake had seen the entire interaction while he took the saddles off the Ikran and packed up the remainder of his supplies. He knew how Kiri had been acting towards her, and he felt so incredibly sorry.

Once he was done, he walked up behind her and placed a gentle kiss on her shoulder. “Hey,” he said softly. She had almost forgotten that he was there. She turned to face him. Jake searched her eyes and he could see the pain behind them. “You okay?” He asked with concern.

“Mhm,” she replied.

“Don’t mind her, sweetheart. She just needs some time.”

“I have given her time, and space. I don’t understand what more she wants… does she hate me?”

“She could never hate you. You’re her mom, she loves you” Jake reassured her.

“But did you see the way she spoke to me? She’s never done this before.”

“She’s getting older, she has a very strong mind and her own opinions…”

Neytiri could sense that Jake was holding back. “Ma Jake, what are you not saying?”

“Nothing. Just… maybe show a little bit more compassion for Spider. You know that would make her happy.”

“Compassion?!”

“Please don’t be upset, baby.”

“I am not upset, I am having a hard time understanding.”

Jake took her hands in his, wanting to close the distance between them. He could feel the change in her emotion, which is why he did not want to say anything. He didn’t want to fight. But this was such a complicated subject, it was the elephant in the room. No one could ignore it.

Neytiri continued. “I apologized for holding my knife to the boy that day. I apologized for forgetting to make him food.”

“I know you did.”

“But I must do more? You cannot expect me to.”

“I know how hard it is for you to have him around. I know he reminds you of everything you lost.”

“Everything that was taken from me.”

Tears welled up in Neytiri’s eyes, so Jake pulled her close and held her tightly.

“I don’t expect you to be fully comfortable having him here. But Kiri knows you don’t accept him. She can feel it, and it’s pushing her away. You know she loves Spider like a brother.”

“I know… I just want my daughter back. I feel like I’m watching her slip away right in front of my eyes.”

Jake ran a hand over her hair. “I’ll talk to her, okay?”

She looked up at him. “You will?”

“Yes. Just give it some time, meet her halfway, and it will all be okay.”

She nodded. “Okay.”

The bags under her eyes were prominent. He tucked a few of her braids behind her ear. His gentle touch provided her with the comfort she always needed.

“Did you get any sleep while we were gone?” He asked.

Neytiri shook her head, her brows furrowed. “I dont sleep well these days anyway.”

Jake took a breath and hugged her to his chest again. “Yeah… me neither.”

Neytiri let out a deep sigh. “We do not sleep… but please tell me that you are hungry at least.”

“Ehh I don’t know, I’m still pretty stuffed from-”

“Jake!” She cut him off and yelled while pushing him playfully. A look of utter shock and betrayal coming over her face.

Jake threw his head back in laughter. “I’m sorry, I’m kidding! I’m actually starving.”

She smiled up at him. “Good. Come on, lets go.”

They walked hand in hand up to their home to meet their children.

[beautifulgiants]

‘I didn’t want to be swallowed up’: actor Josh Hartnett on swapping Hollywood for Hampshire

On track for megastardom, the actor turned down the part of Superman (twice) and turned his back on Hollywood. Now living in rural Hampshire, he talks about choosing fulfilling projects, his hippie childhood, the perils of stalkers – and the fun of owning pygmy goats

Stuart McGurk - Sun 28 Jul 2024

https://www.theguardian.com/film/article/2024/jul/28/i-didnt-want-to-be-swallowed-up-actor-josh-hartnett-on-swapping-hollywood-for-hampshire

Full interview below

Every morning, as soon as the actor Josh Hartnett wakes up in his home in the Hampshire countryside, there are mouths to be fed. Most obviously, those of his four young children. But also: the dog, several guinea pigs, several more chickens and a small herd of pygmy goats. The goats, Hartnett notes, are his favourites.

“They’re the sweetest animals on the planet,” he says, over Zoom, from his home. “They’re like dogs. They would live in the house if they could. In fact, I’ve seen people having their goats in the house with diapers on, but we felt that was kinda cruel.”

Hartnett and his wife, the British actor Tamsin Egerton, spent lockdown here. For years they’d been living a ping-pong existence between the UK and the US. When their third child was on the way, they decided to stay in Hampshire, and Hartnett has become a fixture in local village life ever since.

Unlike when he’s in New York or LA, “where people only want to talk about your career,” he says, here “nobody cares”, which is just how he likes it. He’s in the UK on a marriage visa, which means he can only be out of the country for work 180 days a year, or roughly one movie, which also suits him fine. At night, after the kids have been put to bed, he sometimes finds time to paint – his first love. But mostly, he says, this existence allows him to experience his children growing up in a way he otherwise wouldn’t.

“This is all brand new to me,” he says. “I never would have expected it. And time passes quickly. With four children, you have so much to do. In a way, less is happening. But more of the important stuff is happening. My oldest daughter is eight and a half now – that feels like it happened in the last two years to me. So I’m trying to soak up as much as possible.”

Hartnett’s Hollywood trajectory was a fairly common one. Interesting early indie roles saw his stock rise – Robert Rodriguez’s The Faculty in 1998, Sofia Coppola’s The Virgin Suicides a year later. Those parts catapulted him into big-time roles that required little more of him than to look lovelorn (40 Days and 40 Nights, where his character gives up sex for Lent), heroic (Black Hawk Down, which was thrilling but thin), or heroic and lovelorn at the same time (the deeply terrible Pearl Harbor).

But Hartnett didn’t much like the attention that came with the big gigs. And before long he did the most unforgivable thing any would-be megastar could: he decided he didn’t want to be one. He left LA, moved back to his home state of Minnesota and parted company with his agents. Tabloids still bring up Hartnett’s disappearance – “What happened to Josh Hartnett?” Screen Rant asked recently – though it’s been almost two decades since he made the switch.

In reality, Hartnett only stopped working for 18 months. But from then on he declined the bland heart-throb roles for which he was often suggested and instead pushed for more challenging, smaller projects. (He notably turned down the role of Superman twice.) “I just didn’t want my life to be swallowed up by my work,” he says now. “And there was a notion at that time you just kind of give it all up. And you saw what happened to some people back then. They got obliterated by it. I didn’t want that for myself.”

Hartnett is 46 now and, in the past few years, his career has shifted. For a while he took on interesting parts that didn’t always come off. Films like Mozart and the Whale (2005), a love story about two people with Asperger’s, or Resurrecting the Champ (2007), about a journalist who discovers a former heavyweight boxer living on the streets, or even The Black Dahlia (2006), a highly anticipated James Ellroy adaptation. “Some of those films were successful. Some of them were failures. But I was always swinging for something that was outside what people expected from me.”

But recent projects have come good. Last year alone saw him steal the show with a gloriously funny turn as a clueless Hollywood actor in an otherwise so-so Guy Ritchie film (Operation Fortune: Ruse de Guerre), followed by an astronaut in a metaphysical love triangle in a standout episode of Black Mirror (“Beyond the Sea”), followed by a key role as a nuclear physicist in the Oscar-sweeping smash Oppenheimer. We’re a hair’s breadth away from someone calling it the “Joshonaissance”.

Next up is Trap from M Night Shyamalan, the director of every film with a twist ending you’ve ever watched (The Sixth Sense, Signs, The Village, Old, etc). It sees Hartnett as a doting father who takes his daughter to a pop concert. The twist, which takes within the trailer: he’s also a serial killer known as “The Butcher”. The entire concert is a trap laid on to catch him. A turbo-charged cat-and-mouse caper, the pitch was “Silence of the Lambs at a Taylor Swift concert”.

In casting Hartnett, Shyamalan spoke about how hard it is to find an actor like him. No sooner have movie stars become movie stars by landing the starring role that works for them, he said, they “start to think about how they protect it”. Before long, they start only playing real-life people or settling into franchises. “And so to find somebody that’s a bona fide movie star, that’s a great human being and is willing to risk everything, man, that’s a rare combination. And sometimes you think that doesn’t exist any more. And then he walked in.”

Which does beg the question: why the purple patch now? Hartnett, after all, left the safe roles behind back when Bush was president.

It could, reckons Hartnett, be as simple as “the rest of the industry sort of catching up with what I was always hoping to do”. But also, he says, “maybe it’s also because of my age. I could name a million examples of actors who have become more interesting as they get older. You can’t be an ingenue forever, right?”

Harnett first met Shyamalan at the premiere of The Village in 2004, where they went for dinner afterwards and nerded out over film. He’d always wanted to work with him precisely because of how different all his projects were. “He’s got this reputation as being the sort of king of twists. But I have always looked at him in a different way personally – he’s someone who takes on lots of different genres and just enters those genres from a different perspective.”

He’s also another director Hartnett has had to wait for. When he got the call for Oppenheimer from Christopher Nolan, it came some 20 years after they’d spoken about The Dark Knight, which Nolan was working on at the time. Hartnett wasn’t much interested in playing Batman, and pitched himself instead for a role in another Nolan film, about rival stage magicians, called The Prestige. The role eventually went to Christian Bale, who Nolan had cast as Batman.

It was something of a relief, then, to get the Oppenheimer call all those years later.

“We didn’t have a direct conversation about it,” he says when I asked if Nolan referred to their earlier chat. “But the implication was: ‘I’d better take it.’ You only get so many opportunities with Chris Nolan.”

He doesn’t regret, he says, not pursing superhero roles. But he does allow: “I recognise the missed opportunity to work with a guy like Chris. And I’ve figured out that as much as you’re worried about curating your career to things you’re interested in, I don’t believe that’s the most important thing any more. It’s about finding people who you really trust.”

Hartnett grew up in Saint Paul, Minnesota. His father was a musician, his mother “the girl that likes to go see bands”. He describes them as hippies. They were living in a “shared living situation with other couples and single people” when his mother became pregnant.

I ask if it was it a commune?

“I’m not going to say it was a commune,” he laughs. “It was not a commune. But yes, the way they describe it, it does sound like a commune …”

His father got “a real job” – as a building manager – and bought a house, but his parents soon split up. His mother moved to San Francisco. By the time he was four, his father had married his stepmother, and “it became a much more normal Midwestern existence”.

He was, by the sounds of it, a curious mix. A natural worrier (“My family says I was an existentialist from the age of 12”) and lover of the arts, but also a jock who played on the school football team. “I played a lot of sports, because that’s what you did in the Midwest.” He got his love of painting from his stepmother, an artist, and for the longest time wanted to be an artist himself. He got his love of movies later, in his teens, when working in a video store called Mr Movies. Each night he took armfuls home, becoming obsessed with the French New Wave, and Italian directors such as Bernardo Bertolucci and Federico Fellini.

“This is Saint Paul, Minnesota, in the mid-90s. There wasn’t a lot of foreign film or classics you could rent in Blockbuster. But there was in Mr Movies.”

When I ask if he’s still in touch with his mother, he pauses for a second, and says: “No, she died last year.” It was a difficult relationship. “We had spent most of my youth not around each other. And she had issues with drugs and alcohol.” She had gone to rehab, then developed dementia.

I tell him my father died recently, too – a grief I feel I’m still processing many months on.

“Yeah,” he says after a second or two. “I think… my process of feeling like I had to mourn that relationship, or grieve that grief, I think that started a long time ago. And maybe because I didn’t see her as much as you’d have seen your father, because, you know, she wasn’t around…”

It was his father who had the much bigger impact on his life and, listening to Hartnett talk about him, it’s hard not to draw a through-line from his father’s priorities to his own. The idea, simply, that work isn’t everything; that your family comes first.

“My dad was not someone who valued achievement in that way – high-level work achievement as a means of proving himself. He owned a company. He allowed himself and his employees to work four days a week. And he was home a lot.” He was, he says, “an incredibly responsible human being.”

Over the course of conversation, Hartnett had mentioned the various reasons he’d stepped away from a certain kind of megawatt fame, of which this is clearly one. But I ask him now if there was a point – a moment – he can trace it back to.

He says it wasn’t so simple, no clear line between “happy Josh and unhappy Josh”, but then says: “People’s attention to me at the time was borderline unhealthy.”

Whose attention?

“Well, look, I don’t want to give this a lot of weight,” he begins. By which he means: what he’s about to say is a reason, not to be confused with the reason. “There were incidents. People showed up at my house. People that were stalking me.” At one point, he says, “a guy showed up at one of my premieres with a gun, claiming to be my father. He ended up in prison.” Harnett was 27 at the time – this was 19 years ago. “There were lots of things. It was a weird time. And I wasn’t going to be grist for the mill.”

We talk, briefly, about politics. When we meet, it’s a few days after the attempted assassination of Donald Trump and a few weeks after Joe Biden’s disastrous debate performance. Hartnett campaigned for Obama, and has met Biden a couple of times. “He had a wonderful grasp of the issues and was incredibly eloquent, but I don’t know where we’re at these days. That debate was frightening.”

Mostly, thinking of the Trump shooting, he’s fearful of where the US is heading. And not just for us – but what we leave for those after us. “We’re in a transitional moment. The rhetoric is so hot. It’s tragic. And you have fears that the democracy might not be able to withstand those shocks. As you and I experienced recently, life goes quickly. We’re the next generation to go. Do we want to spend all that time fighting each other?”

We end on something substantially lighter – Hartnett’s rather unexpected cameo turn in the latest season of The Bear, recently nominated for a record 23 Emmys. It’s another role, like Trap, in which he plays a dad, or rather a stepfather – though one, presumably, rather less murderous.

It was also another role, he says, that was years in the making, the universe once again circling back around. He’d spoken to co-creator Christopher Storer some time before about making a film that never got off the ground. He remembers Storer mentioned at the time another project he was working on, based on his sister, a chef, and people he knew in Chicago. When Hartnett eventually got the call for season three, he didn’t hesitate. It was, after all, his new rule: work with people you trust.

“And I’ve never been on a set like it,” he says now. “All the actors show up even when they’re not working. They just love being there. It’s like a clubhouse. It shouldn’t be allowed to be called work. It’s too much fun.”

It was also a role that didn’t take long to shoot – a fraction of his 180-day allowance – then back to the Hampshire countryside and his wife, his four young children, his dog, his chickens, his guinea pigs, and several, diaper-free, pygmy goats.

Trap is in cinemas in the UK on 9 August

Fashion editor Helen Seamons; photographer’s assistant Scott Hobson-Jones; fashion assistant Sam Deaman; grooming by Charley McEwen at The Only Agency using 111Skin; location airspacelocations.co.uk

Josh Hartnett wears shirt by ralphlauren.com, trousers and necklace his own.(Image 1)

Cardigan by connollyengland.com, shirt by ysl.com and trousers by oliverspencer.co.uk. (image 2)

Shirt by chestudios.co.uk; knitted top by connollyengland.com; trousers by oliverspencer.co.uk.(image 3)

Photographs: Zoe McConnell/The Observer

[throughthewaves-if]

What were the ROs like as kids?

Simon/Sophia- S was generally very obedient and quiet when they were young, maybe even a bit of a people pleaser. They never talked back and rarely spoke their mind. They always had this mysterious energy surrounding them, though. You could tell something was off about them, but could never put your finger on it. Some of the other kids were scared of S, despite S never even talking to them. The only difference between S when they were young and how they are now would be that they’re a little bit more outgoing. They’re still pretty shy, obviously, but they’re not terrified to be near another person anymore. Progress, I suppose. 

Idair/Iris- Loud, obnoxious, disruptive, irresponsible, clumsy… All words that teachers and peers have used to describe I in school. Even their parents were at a loss sometimes. I’s obsession with the human world began when they were very young, so it was a common practice for them to sneak out when no one was keeping an eye on them and force their parents to gather up the village to go and find them. They have calmed down a bit over the years, they’re no longer as loud and have learned to mostly keep to themself. But if you get close to them, you’ll quickly realize that I’s loud demeanor never truly left. Just buried so only a special few could see it. 

Malachi/Madeline- A lot nicer and friendly, which might sound very surprising. They were quite popular in school and made an effort to make sure nobody felt left out. They’ve always been very intelligent and M was a straight-A student throughout their school years. I’ve also mentioned this before, but they were once the I of their kingdom. They were once just as inviting to humans as they were to other mermaids. Now, they’re inviting to neither. 

Altair/Astrid- Very similar to I, actually. A was once a lot more outspoken and a little bit immature, and they had a lot of disagreements with how the royal court ran things. A’s favorite sentence as a child was “Well, when I’m queen/king, I plan to do this…” They’ve matured more and have realized over time that while they may not completely agree with everything their parents do for the kingdom, they understand why they do it, and why it’s important that things are the way they are.

[octahyde]

ocxcanon cringe

It’s OC X Canon week on Twitter and idk if I’m gonna do it and if I do it’ll take months and none of it will be posted anyways but i thought I’d post and give a rundown of my ships hi

(picrew used)

I don’t have many but I’m putting them under a cut just because that’s easier

Yuzuki X Wren- Story of Seasons: Trio of Towns

The YuzuWren… my everything… I made them in 2020 because that was the year I started really getting into making OCs and finally played 3oT after being hesitant and skipping out when it came out due to how badly the concept of multiple villages was implemented last time. (Thank FUCK Marvelous learned from tott. Anyways) Especially because during the time of playing the file, I realized I had been repressing some horrific, horrific trauma of something that happened to me. They’re what got me through it and I ended up getting a solid 100 hours through their file!

Wren is a trans man. Along with his interest in farming, Daryl refused to accept him as a man. Gay Uncle Frank took him in not only to help get started with farming, but also to help him with transitioning. (As a side note I did not realize Wren starting to transition when he moved to his farm meant he was getting his hrt top and phallo from fucking Ford until months later and felt so FUCKING sorry for him.) (Another side note- Daryl refuses to accept Wren’s transness even after he becomes “proud” of his farm and hopes he’ll grow out of it, Marlena is happy to see how well her “daughter” is doing, and Lynn is genuinely really supportive but rarely gets to see him because of how she’s still young and lives with their parents.)

When Wren first visits Tsuyukusa, he starts helping out Omiyo and Umekichi whenever he had down time to make things a little easier for them. Obviously, this lead to occasionally checking in on Yuzuki as well. Wren got interested in Yuzuki’s jewelry early on and started trying to make more time to talk to him. From being sexually harassed from being so frail and feminine looking in his childhood, Yuzuki was very empathetic to Wren- he’s cis and he can’t possibly imagine how much harder they were for Wren having that his entire life. Finding out Yuzuki was also the unfavorite child to a significantly more horrific degree than Wren was likewise made Wren more sympathetic to him.

Anyways they get married and have gay sex and live an r/childfree life because I have having kids in these games LMAO can you tell they’re my darling yaoi

Mistel X Roland- Story of Seasons (3DS)

I started this file a while ago but recently got back to it!! And doubled the hours I had on it before in a week. Uh.

Roland was a born and raised city boy who always hated how busy the city was. He always loved growing his own vegetables on his apartment balcony and, eventually after doing research on agriculture, decided he’d do best on a farm. When a lot opened up in Oak Tree Town, home of his favorite writer, he couldn’t refuse and set out immediately. Indeed, it wasn’t long before Roland started visiting Iris regularly to talk about literature with her. Mistel, the autistic little freak he is, got curious about Roland very fast and kept attacking him with questions every time he came to talk with his sister. Roland found it incredibly annoying and started giving Mistel little presents when he visited to satiate him while he talked to Iris. This backfired, however, as it only got Mistel even more fixated on him and made him start prodding at Roland even more than he did before. Worst of all, Roland was beginning not only to not mind it, but also starting to enjoy it! At some point, he started visiting less for Iris and more for Mistel. Not that he had a crush on him. He’d never admit he had a crush on him. Eventually Mistel beat him too the punch and asked him out, and that’s where my file currently is!! Very excited to get to when he’s disproportionally hornier than every other LI in the entire series LMFAO

IdiYume- Twisted Wonderland

This one is really REALLY embarrassing for me because I haven’t done romantic yume/self ships since like… middle school

My sona is a catch all one I made a few years ago; Beatrice “Trixie”/“Trix” Hart. Normally I use her/him to terrorize anime boys platonically (she was first created to be an assistant to Klavier Gavin in Ace Attorney, and I think it shows with the name LMAO), but as I got more into the series and read Book 6, I Needed to kiss Idia Shroud and used him for this as well. His name stays the same minus the nickname because, well, I’m a trans dude keeping his gendered birth name lol.

He’s a second year Pomefiore bnuuy beastman at NRC and is BFFs with Cater. Him and Idia vaguely know each other, but generally dislike each other. Online, though, he’s Idia’s favorite vtuber and ok this is too embarrassing for me sorry JDKDWKKFSKFB

I prefer them a lot after NRC, though- I view them as both being transhet (because I am transhet. bye). Idia’s boymoding at NRC, and Trix is girlmoding quite literally everywhere except the all male school he goes to. After they graduate, they start transitioning together. Its a very very intimate experience for both as they support each other through everything.

This picrew is them 10 years post NRC when they’re fully transitioned because that’s usually what I think about with them. :) They’re very happy and love each other and their 3 cats and their younger brother and his 2 dogs.

Chenya X Beau Rhodes-Twisted Wonderland

My most recent ocxcanon ship and the one I have the least amount of development on because there’s so little known about RSA and Chenya is only allowed out of RSA Jail every now and then for enrichment. Beau is twisted from the rose from Beauty and the Beast! He also grew up in the Queendom of Roses, but a different part than Chenya Trey and Riddle. Him and Chenya were roommates their first year at RSA. Beau is very mature and committed to his work and studies in floral arrangement, in contrast to Chenya who’s. Well. Chenya. They end up balancing each other out; Chenya helps Beau lighten up, and Beau has better luck than most convincing Chenya to stop fucking around when he needs to.

The biggest aspect, to their dynamic, however, is something else.

I think NRC is one giant cringe compilation to RSA. They love hearing about the insane things that happen there. And, well, Chenya is childhood friends with the most ridiculous human being ever born, Riddle Rosehearts. And also Trey Clover, man who has spent his entire life being in love with the most ridiculous human being ever born, Riddle Rosehearts. Beau and Trey met as first years from Chenya introducing them, but whenever Riddle came up there was a silent “dude just wait until you meet this guy next year.” Beau didn’t know what he expected but Riddle met all of them.

Chenya does convince him to go to an unbirthday party with him though. Eventually. And he surprisingly does have a great time. That doesn’t stop the “I’ve had to listen to him talk about being in love with this guy for 8 years dude” conversations though.

[tamelee]

Hey!

I love your analysis so much! You are the most impartial and nice person I met here so far ❤️❤️❤️

What do you think about the theory that Naruto invented harem jutsu because he wanted to get some men attention? It’s a little messed up since he was a kid, but I mean… Little girls have crushes on grown up men, boys probably have the same (Not saying he was doing it because he crushed on everyone in the village!) but there were times that he didn’t do it to gain something or anything. I’m confused. And I know that probably most of it was just for the fan service, but… I guess I like to have everything to make sense. I would love to hear you opinion on that!

Hi Nonee, thankyou so much ;-; 🧡🫶!! What a sweet thing to say! Hm' I don't think that's the right approach to the topic.. at all. In fact, I think that's very wrong tbh..

..we're talking about a neglected child here. Naruto created the Jutsu because he knows men think a certain way and thinks they're idiots for it. In the beginning he calls the villagers morons and he's quite full of himself (saving face) despite failing in class. Naruto is painfully aware of his own flaws though and so.. has an alternative for shits and giggles because he knows the reaction it'll draw out of men and laughs in their faces.

He gets scolded for it but remember, negative attention is still attention to a deprived and neglected mind of a child.

And yes, attention towards his existence, but it has nothing to do with sexual attention from Naruto's perspective. (wth.) For Naruto that's not why he's doing it and I think it's really weird to (whomever did to) suggest that. Big difference there because for Naruto it is a way to cause trouble as he knows he's already hated (at this point didn't know why) and it is a way to pay them back because they're (as grown men and 'elite Shinobi') humiliated for their severe reactions towards his Jutsu regardless of how negatively they think about him.

Let's see some examples.

Naruto got manipulated into stealing a super forbidden and dangerous scroll and somehow was easily able to do so by using this Jutsu on the Hokage and walked away with it without a problem for hours thanks to it... Apparently it was more effective than whatever Mizuki had in store because he needed a kid to get to the scroll. Obviously Naruto at this point is just toying with all these people and it makes sense that despite him glorifying the name 'Hokage' he doesn't think very highly of Hiruzen or men who fall for it. That's not to say he doesn't respect them in other regards, because he loved Iruka and Jiraiya. But still. "The nose-bleeder":

Ebisu earned his closet-pervert-name for a reason and Naruto wasn't happy with getting training from him instead of Kakashi.

He called Naruto trash at first, thought so lowly of him and told Konohamaru that if he decided to hang out with him longer he'd become stupid (like Naruto).

Naruto used his KBnJ and Ebisu got cocky about it... until..

Because Naruto knows it works. As in "who's stupid now? You fall and get defeated by my Jutsu despite me being all these things you say I am. You loser/pervert."

So later, Naruto even said that Ebisu was 'weaker than him' because he fell for the Jutsu and I think that says a lot about Naruto's perspective on the matter. Especially because he says it so.. passionately and he reeeaallyyy didn't want any training from him.

When he meets Jiraiya for the first time he severely disliked the man. Naruto screams and scolds him for the nasty book, peeping at the women in the bath, being a pervert and committing a crime, he calls Jiraiya a liar and flips him the bird..

It's genuinely wild. Naruto is wild I'll tell ya.

But then it gets more interesting.. because for some weird reason Kishimoto thinks he should let Jiraiya say during their argument that "he doesn't like men!!!".

Which is strange imo because Naruto is a child and not a man and it has nothing to do with his request for training. So what would that do to Naruto?? He's basically saying: "I won't train you because I don't like you the way you are, thus you have to transform into the thing I do like for me to change my mind because that's the only thing stopping me from training you." And what information has Naruto at this point? He knows shallow minded men fall for his Sexy no Jutsu easily, he knows and scolded Jiraiya just a minute ago for his book, peeping and being a pervert.. Naruto is actually so much smarter than people give him credit for (throughout the entire story actually)- put two and two together and he's forced to:

.. exactly.

Naruto even tried to compliment the "nasty book" first even though he obviously didn't mean it before resorting to this Jutsu knowing and even having said before that such behavior is distasteful doing so to humiliate and manipulate Jiraiya to get what he wants (because again, he thinks they're all idiots for this specific reason only). Naruto is very aware about the situation. He doesn't do it for attention, he does it to get trained and Jiraiya quite literally said "I don't like you, you're a rude brat, why would I train you anyway? I don't like men." So what's the alternative? Become a woman (in this case desirable to Jiraiya) and manipulate this fool into getting to train him.

Naruto is extremely uncomfortable and the second Jiraiya suggests he stays that way throughout the training he undoes the Jutsu immediately and gets angry. He throws more insults towards Jiraiya like "pervert" "nasty Sannin" and calls him "totally crazy". He doesn't enjoy to get perved on, he enjoys humiliating them for being fooled so easily because their first impressions of them weren't great to say the least. Iruka always scolded him, Ebisu called him literally trash and Jiraiya was literally the worst at first. Notice how he didn't try using it during the Bell Test on Kakashi for example. He wasn't nice but it wasn't personal towards Naruto.

[ducks-and-stuff]

SKYBLING HATER POST /mean

okay so that last repost I did had the exact opposite intended affect on me and now I want to write about how much I hate Pearl and Grian and skyblings in general and sure I don’t watch a lot of their content nowadays and I never watched Pearl’s side of Evo but guess what? no-one is reading this anyways so here we go: 

So first off, do- do Pearl and Grian, like, interact that much on camera? Obviously they’re friends cause Grian invited her to the Life series and  Evo and stuff but when they’re recording they tend to do their own thing in different directions. This might just be because Pearl is upside down all the way in Australia time differences but even when playing on the life series neither of them seem to really spend vast amounts of time with the other. Just a quick cool quick little interaction or teaming up because convenience or they respect the others skill. Or maybe I just don’t watch either’s perspective enough, who knows, just haven’t seen them spend quality time with each other a lot on there. 

As for Hermitcraft, Boatem was a really good group but, uh, guys? Friends? Fellas? there were 5 members of Boatem, not 2. Why are we not going around headcannoning Mumbo and Impulse as brothers if living together makes Pearl and Grian siblings? I don’t remember them interacting all that much in season 9 either, but both did choose to live relatively close to at least one other Boatem member, Impulse and Pearl sibling au when? 

So maybe it’s beacause of Evo then. Maybe it’s that little ol’ Minecraft series that Grian left half a decade ago, cool. Pearl had a sad little montage, good for her. I’ve also heard someone say they were canonically siblings in that series but I’m not bothering to do actual work for this rant so… fun. Point is, all that was a long while ago. Sure their content has gone in wildly different directions since then with being Hermits and Emperors and little copper golems but basing their current relations off of Evo is still relevant, right? And to that I have to say, ABSOLUTELY. I’m a sucker for Evo’s ending and people who love each other finally managing to claw their way back into the other’s arms or literally any other story revolving around the end of Evo ever. I will hold onto my half a decade old Grian and Pearl headcannons till the end of time you hear me???? Authors out there including Evo angst in your work I love you so much, you make me cry. Characters separated by the gods themselves are best characters, and if the only way I’m going to get that content is if they’re blood related then I will swallow my pride and enjoy it to no end! Write more Evo affecting the present stuff and I will uh- give you this random dust bunny in my pocket. Fair trade. 

But- ahem- yes, back to complaining. Jimmy and Pearl. Guys. GUYS, I write Pearl and Jimmy interactions all the time, I’m the Pearl and Jimmy guy! And even I don’t think they interact that much??? As for the present, They have good moments together yeah because they’re both hilarious but they have their own little groups they tend to stay within. Pearls being a girlboss with her best buds and Jimmy’s being bullied by his. Have they even ever teamed in a life series? Did they ever really talk on Empires that much? Jimmy invited her to help with his Christmas village building which was a really nice surprise and they hung out on Evo, but, anything the fandom is both glued to and recent? 

Honestly, my biggest issue is just that is seems like the age old trope of tying a female to a more popular male character and I hate it. Obviously in the world of male dominated mcyt this is kinda hard to avoid but… this headcannon with most popular kid in school Grian specifically when I don’t even see them interacting that much? I understand Grian and Jimmy because they actually have a lot of close, consistent interactions but every time I see Pearl in the mix I just have to pause and question it. There was a really good post a while ago about how people tend to assign her as oldest because reason that is probably ‘well, girls are more mature’, and yeah, why are we doing that? Why are we all just putting her into a trio she’s rarely seen with nowadays anyways? She’s a public menace, not a menace to these two in particular.

With Grian especially it seems to me like it could be a case of sure, woman in her own is cool but what if it was woman and DUDE EVERYONE ALSO LIKES SO MUCH?!???? HOW AMAZINGLY AMAZING. They’ll fit together like two puzzle pieces from different boxes with the same color scheme! So fun right? To me it seems as though this dynamic was not based around these three close friends who were like siblings, but instead, Grian plus his loving family. One member of which is going to wander off to find Gem and Impulse anyways. 

So yeah, I say free them all, but especially Pearl, from this dynamic. Share her chaos! Give her a mace! Set her lose onto the world! 

Or, don’t, lol. Ultimately the point of a fandom is for everyone to have fun, and if shoving these little guys together is what makes you happiest then go for it! I just like complaining and I see a hint of underlying sexism in the headcannon being so widely accepted on what seems to me as such little basis, but who’s a random internet user to stop you from doing what you love. 

Just because I have a personal problem with something that isn’t really hurting anybody doesn’t mean you should stop, like I said, I love writing stories about Jimmy and Pearl clinging onto each other after Evo regardless of my belief that they don’t really do that at all in their content today. So yeah, write your stories, make your art, and remember to have fun with (any very non-problematic 👍) things regardless of what anybody else says! Best wishes to you MCYTumblr! Everyone’s art and writing and we weaves and whatever over these little guys we’ve all decided to cling to is absolutely beautiful to witness! 

[hannahssimblr]

In the final throes of summer the trees lose that brilliant, neon green and the waves crash to shore just a little harder than they did last week. It’s a small change, yet I see it every year as I stand on the shore, that breeze that blows the marram grasses into my bare legs is just a touch colder than usual, the days a little shorter, a feeling of change in the air. 

I watch a mother call her kids in from the sea with a broad wave of her arm, “We’re packing up the caravan,” she’s calling out, “Come and help your dad put the cases in the car, won’t you?”

Within sight of me, Liam wipes the counter down at the surf shack, and there is no queue today for ice cream, and soon it’ll be just the locals left, going about their year in this village of boarded up houses. He sees me and waves enthusiastically, and I lift a limp hand in response. 

“You off soon?” He shouts, and I shrug. 

“Tomorrow.”

“Ah, well sure I might see you around before you go. I’ll be here.”

I turn back to face the shore. Yeah. He’s always here. I wonder what it’s like for him when the summer is over, like, what does Liam do in the winter? Does he still go surfing? Does he still stand there smiling at the Surf Shack window, through rain and storms, smiling out to sea and waiting for customers like some kind of ancient ghost doomed to act out this routine until the end of time? How is it that he is fifteen and it feels like he’s been there for centuries.

Shane Healy comes down the sandy path from the village and my stomach clenches. He is not smiling, and he’s walking towards me with a particular sort of impatient purpose that makes me feel like the most burdensome fool to ever exist. Who knows what I interrupted by asking him to come here, but I have a feeling he’s about to tell me. 

“Here, man,” he huffs, “We were packing the bags to go home, what is it?”

I hesitate, aware of my hands sunken into pockets, thinking perhaps I should take them out and be prepared for any potential violence. “Um,” I say, “I thought that you and I should talk.”

“Oh yeah?” He has a glint in his eye. Is it a murderous glint? I can’t decide. 

“I was talking to Jen about you guys, you know, not inviting me to hang out at your place the other night and I was just wondering-”

“Yeah, obviously. Why would I invite you over?”

“...Because we’re meant to be friends, I don’t know, why else would you-”

“Man, look, I don’t know if you think I’m stupid or something, but obviously I found out what you’ve been saying about Kelly, and I don’t really think it’s a good idea for you to be in the same room as her, she’d just get mad or something, I don’t know.”

“Kelly?” I splutter. “What did I ever say about Kelly?”

“I get pissed off at her, right? She’s annoying, but she’s my sister, and only I’m allowed to say things about her, not you. I dunno, I just thought you’d have a bit more cop-on, a bit more compassion or something, like, she’s been…” He hesitates, like the next thought is disturbing, “.... fairly upset about it, to be honest.”

I search all over his face for some sign that he’s pranking me, but he isn’t. His jaw is set and his brow is furrowed. “Shane, honestly, I don’t even know what I said. I don’t think that I ever said anything about her.”

“Okay but it actually has to have been you.”

“What? Why? What was said?”

“Man, come on, I know you’re like this, I know you just say and do shit without really thinking about it, and you’re an annoying bastard about it and usually it’s fine, but I’m just mad that you targeted my little sister. It’s not on.”

My heart is drumming a staccato beat inside my chest, “Shane, what the hell! I didn't say anything, I mean, maybe I did and I can’t remember. What-”

“That nobody wants to hang out with her, that she’s a loser and that our mam has to force people to be friends with her,” He scowls, “All the teenagers at the caravan park heard about it and they’re all ripping the piss, saying that she needs mammy’s to hold her hand.”

“That wasn’t me. I’d never say that.”

“Well we figured out that it must have been, alright? Because mam said that she asked you, you specifically, to invite Kelly to hang out because she was worried she was feeling a bit lonely.”

The idea that Shane’s mam thinks I spread these rumours makes me queasy. I remember that night. We were out on the dunes, we ran out of beer, I went back to the Healy’s mobile home to sneak more out, and Clóda came- 

Clóda. 

“No - listen, I swear it wasn’t me,” I begin, but he’s already finished and doesn’t really care about what else I have to say. He’s backing away. 

“Whatever, Jude. If this is what you asked me here to talk about then I have things to be at, so,” he gives me a nod as I splutter in protest, but he just walks away with a curt wave, “I’ve to pack, so, see you next summer, or whatever.”

“Shane, wait! Shane, man, c’mon!” He doesn’t turn around. “Fuck sake,” I mutter and I grab my phone from my pocket. I punch out a quick text to Clóda. 

Meet me in the park when you’re finished work. 

I stalk off in the other direction. 

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