#I’m still not sure what ‘normalise’ means tho | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

noddytheornithopod · 4 years ago

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So yeah, seen the premiere and had a bit of time to think things over and see what others are saying. My feelings... I’m not sure how I’d summarise them. I guess I’d say something like enjoying it but in a very distant and sceptical way? I’ll write more about the actual episode soon but to start, I should mention the source of my scepticism and hesitation: whitewashing (cut for a spoiler character).

Even back last year when the Bad Batch arc aired, I saw the mutant clones from Clone Force 99 and all of them but Wrecker looked... way lighter than they should? And the implication is that their genetic alterations is why they look, well, whiter? When these deviant clones are allowed to serve because their mutations turn out to be “beneficial” and “positive” instead of disabling?

Yeah... look, I don’t think Filoni and the folks at Lucasfilm are being intentionally racist, but nobody ever thinks they’re racist even when they’re spreading that very racism (well, except a few unashamed bigots like Nazis, but they’re a very clear minority and not really relevant here). Taking clones of a brown man and having them turn out to be whiter and the correlation of that being with genetic traits that enhance existing features instead of making them unfit to serve... yeah, really not a good look. There’s a reason some people have been using #UnwhitewashTBB. Oh yeah, did I mention that Wrecker, the only one with a normal, darker skin tone is the big dumb muscle of the group? And that Tech, the whitest one, is the brains? Crosshair and Tech both look like white dudes, and Hunter even if his tone is darker still looks paler than he should (same with Omega for that matter). And of course, Echo basically has bleached skin because even being frozen shouldn’t deprive him of that much colour, so what the heck? They can’t even justify that one with genetic alterations to the template, which is already a bullshit excuse because... why does having a brain that process information super efficiently or super enhanced eyesight make your skin lighter? There’s no narrative reason for them to be lighter skinned, it’s such a flimsy excuse with weird correlations that send some kinda unfortunate messages. It’s a shame, because the idea behind the Bad Batch is that differences are what make us who we are and that we should value that... and yes, they ARE different from regular clones (which I guess is why they designed them like this???), but they don’t need to be turned into freaking white people to illustrate this. Like, if you really want to show them be different, convey that in features associate with their traits (aka something that Wrecker’s design does, shame being the darkest skin ruins that >:V).

Oh yeah, speaking of whitewashing... the hell is up with Caleb? Oh yeah, Kanan Jarrus from Rebels is here, back when he was still padawan Caleb Dume. When I was watching the episode I was like “wait, is his skin tone right? or is it kinda light for him? also his hair too???” I then saw other reactions and yeah, this is definitely a whitewashed design. Just... why? The fact that they’re retconning a comic whose version of events I honestly prefer doesn’t help at all. How are they gonna excuse this one? That years of being on the run blasted his pasty white skin with too much UV? That he’s stuck inside the temple too much?

It’s apparently an issue that some fans have discussed for years, and I’m glad it finally became clear to me. The most I got concerned about clone whitewashing was when people tried to claim Rex was that dude on Endor, and... no? Just because they both have fucking Santa beards doesn’t mean they’re the same person. But I mean, suddenly hearing these voices all come together with the hashtag finally brought things into perspective. It seems like it’s been an issue for a while, little thing that had me going “huh that’s weird” like 99 looking awfully white even as he’s deformed (oh yeah I also think he’s written in an ableist, even inspiration porny way, but that’s ANOTHER story), the clones in general seeming to have lighter skin tones in places (in TCW it never bothered me tho I have seen criticism of it there, it’s mainly in Expanded Media and Rebels I was asking questions). There’s also Boba Fett in the episode Deception looking weirdly pale?

People have even brought up that Dee Bradley Baker, a white man, voicing these Maori men brings issues, especially with how his accent... isn’t very accurate. Like, I do think he’s a great voice actor, even with the clones and how he’s able to individualise all of them even with the same voice, but... his accent honestly sounds more like a bad Australian one than a New Zealand one, lol. Again, this is something I always noticed and found weird, but only with the recent movement has it really been giving me perspective. Even this took me a while to process, because in voice acting there seems to be more flexibility with who can play who (even if many recent conversations like the one about Apu from The Simpsons have gotten people to ask if when this happens we lean into caricature, which is what people are concerned with here).

Okay this post was actually meant to be a general reaction to the episode, but my whitewashing rant really got out of hand. I do feel like I could’ve been more vocal in the past about some of these things, especially as a white person myself. It’s easy to be complacent out of fear of conflict, and it’s something I do feel I need to work on. I also do want to specifically hear opinions of Polynesian and of course especially Maori Star Wars fans and what they have to say about this, if anyone has anywhere to direct me in that specific regard.

Anyway, that’s all for now. Lucasfilm has a whitewashing issue. I don’t believe there’s deliberate malice, but that makes it even more important to fight - things like this can be normalised to a degree we don’t question it. It’s much harder to unpack unconscious biases and things that are normalised in society than it is to confront the open bigots.

#unwhitewashtbb #the bad batch #star wars

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minecraftmen · 3 years ago

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disorganised thoughts on today’s karlnap streams

cooking stream:

I only caught the tail end of the cooking stream but first of all, the burgers and steak were NOT raw, the steak was decently rare and the burgers were medium-rare -- Sap’s a Texas boy, that’s just how they do burgers in TX

seeing Sapnap’s hair fluffing out from under his hat during the cooking stream was so gddamn cute??

the hot pocket was definitely doomed from the start lmfao but it was funny

karaoke stream:

I love how these boys just hype each other up!! look at them go!!!

both of them look so pretty today, just wanna say that

I personally am LIVING for the disney music

honestly makes me really happy that Karl doesn’t seem to point out Sapnap’s voice cracks on stream? like speaking as someone else whose voice still cracks, it means a lot that it’s not something they make a spectacle of like I’m insecure about my voice cracking but like, this helps normalise

I love this man who unapologetically loves ‘cheesy’ disney channel movies that were deemed ‘cringe’ for a good chunk of the last decade, and in fact has a mental tier list of them

holy FUCK Potential Breakup Song still fucking SLAPS

those notes are tough to hit in mix, honestly kudos to Sap for getting as close as he does, as consistently as he does (Play My Music)

YES HSM2

AAA Sap hyping up Karl with his flashlight is so cute!!! we love supportive bois!!!

look at these dorks go omg, my heart is so full

they’re just having fun!!! your honor!!!!

I’m so sad Sapnap has to leave but aaaaa I’m so happy for all the fun content they shared with us

that hug ;v; /pos

does anyone know what song(s?) Karl played at the closing? it felt like a mario galaxy song but I’m not sure, it was really pretty tho

#mm.txt #mcyt liveblogging #mcyt #long post

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bisidneycarter · 4 years ago

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gonna rate all of the synonyms google have given me for BEAUTIFUL, you want to wait until the end (at least skip to it) i promise.

Attractive

2/10. blunt. uninventive. kind of formal. sort of based on societal norms but i guess all beauty is. well used so ig it gets some points for popularity. but basic imo

Pretty

5/10. it’s... fine. like we use it all the time, right? it’s nice, a gentle sounding word. solid adjective. ppl like to be called pretty? not terribly imaginative though

Handsome

5/10 ngl, forgot this word existed, was kinda the one i was looking for but. normalise using it in reference to women bc it used to be gender neutral or at least more feminine than today. bold but again, not hugely imaginative.

Good-looking

3/10. a mash up of handsome and attractive. too blunt sounding to be complimentary. boring.

Nice-looking

2/10. like the word above but the adjective has been downgraded. booo

Pleasing

1/10. sounds self centred. means nothing to me

Alluring

4/10. certainly different. would be weird to call someone this to their face. but fun for writing probably. i feel like it provides an air of mystery?? but it doesn’t really have a full meaning in my head so eh

Prepossessing

2/10. this means nothing to me quite honestly.

As pretty as a picture

2/10. idk how to explain this but in my head this phrase screams misogyny so no thank you

Lovely

6/10. it’s gentle and sweet. but kinda boring idk

Charming

7/10. it’s more of a masculine descriptor but I love it used for women too. a nice word for anyone. but doesn’t quite scream beautful, has a different vibe

Delightful

4/10. seems more like how you’d describe a good dessert or something rather than a person, but still somewhat valid?

Appealing

2/10. idk man, just feels icky

Engaging

1/10. in what way would you ever use this in place of beautiful?

Winsome

4/10. points for originality. apparently means ‘innocently beautiful’ and that lowkey feels icky.

Ravishing

0/10. no.

Gorgeous

3/10. it’s fine. there’s something about it that idk tho. it always sounds patronising idk man

Heavenly

6/10. this one does give me mixed vibes but personally i find it to be a small step up from beautiful. Not to get deep but if heaven is like, where our true happiness may lie or whatever, then someone being heavenly is like them being all of a person’s happiness and future they will ever need

Stunning

5/10. highly complimentary ig. i’d never use it though

Arresting

7/10. this is so random??? but it’s like a ‘my whole world was put on hold and on arrest when i laid eyes on you’ i think. and that’s, pardon the pun, beautiful

Glamorous

5/10. probably great for some ppl but just no for me

Irresistible

5/10. could be either romantic or creepy. context important for the rating of this one.

Bewitching

8/10. has the word witch in it, what’s not to like. magical and i love it.

Beguiling

5/10. it’s bewitching but with no witch. and a strange pronunciation. but i like the connotations i think

Graceful & Elegant

7/10. putting these two together bc they’re very similar to me. if the character in question is a dancer then what better words are there? highly romanticized i feel.

Exquisite

5/10. i find it kinda weird but it could be good depends on use i suppose.

Aesthetic

4/10. look if we’re describing a mood board then sure, but saying a person specifically is aesthetic is a no. but if it’s like, a nice view of something, then absolutely, go ahead!

Artistic

4/10. i get and also don’t get this one. art can be beautiful. but i dunno if beautiful = artistic ????

Decorative

4/10. ok i definitely gotta remember these synonyms aren’t all about people because obviously a painting can be beautiful. still sounds pretty blunt though. plain. which is actually contradictory to the word lmao

Magnificent

3/10. a great word but not in the place of beautiful. just doesn’t fit

Bonny

2/10. is it really sucky of me to just say ‘outdated’ and move on??

Hot

4/10. look i really hate this personally. maybe its a me-being-ace thing but it feels strange to me. but commonly used and i gotta get over that

Tasty

0/10. what.

Divine

6/10. yes. good! back on track. ‘exquisite’ but better

Knockout

2/10. literally who has used this in place of beautiful i- no! points for amusement

Drop-dead gorgeous

3/10. i already don’t like gorgeous. this is worse to me

Fanciable

2/10. this one feels mean bc of the suggestion ppl can be ‘unfanciable’ lol idk it’s also boring and uninventive.

Beddable

5/10. i wouldn’t use this. actually i hate this. (as i said, asexual here) but it really cracked me up so i simply have to give it points

Easy on the eye

3/10. this isn’t the compliment ppl think it is to be honest

Fit

2/10. another one i realllly don’t like. boring and more on par with like, ‘sexy’ than ‘beautiful’. which are separate things to me

Smashing

2/10. that doesn’t mean beautiful pleaseeee

Cute

5/10. it’s fine. common but fine

Foxy

0/10. cringe and i hate it goodbye

Beaut

2/10. i mean that’s just beautiful with a syllable missing. it’s the same thing as the og

Spunky

4/10. this is slang i don’t understand but it sounds fun

Beauteous

2/10. i have only ever heard of this word in the context of ‘beauteous maximus’ and i thus hate it

Comely

3/10. so far away from ‘beautiful’. not even close. do better

Fair

0/10. isn’t this only used for like light skin and/or light hair? the idea that that equals beauty is a big no goodbye

Sightly

1/10. omg it’s ‘easy on the eye’ but worse lol

Pulchritudinous

?????/10. LIKE WHAT IS THAT? what a WORD. DAMN. it’s not even got objectifying connotations or anything it genuinely just means beautiful. WHY. HOW. HOW CAN I EVEN USE THIS IN ANY CONTEXT??? I LOVE AND HATE THIS

and there you have it. beautiful’s synonyms, rated. in conclusion, not many good ones. if you read all this then i’m sorry but at least you probably learnt a new word (pulchritudinous)

#writing #sophie rambles #why did i do this?#just to yell about that last word #like wtf is that #pulchritudinous #whyyy #words #beautiful #also don't take this too seriously i don't have real strong opinion on words tbh

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eyecicles · 5 years ago

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i'm autistic...i've known for about 6 years now, and i was diagnosed pretty late (17) and in secret. my mom doesnt believe in autism, calls it "all in my head", and she doesnt take the resulting depression and anxiety seriously either. she yells at me for everything i've come to learn has to do with my autism, and claims to have read and researched everything but i know she hasnt (or if she has, its been 1 or 2 unreliable articles) /1

whenever i break and tell her she’s yelling at me for something outside of my control (for example, being uncomfortable with sudden changes in plans or making eye contact) she starts talking about how if i keep saying it to myself i’ll never get better and i should acknowledge the problem and stuff like that. she doesnt want me to go to therapy and if i must, its gonna be someone she picks out and i really dont want to go there

im kinda scared of therapy as it is because ive lived my whole life this way and im worried that i’ll lose bits of my personality if i start to change (even if its for the better) and i dont want to go but i also know that i should, and i also really want an official diagnosis from someone whose opinion actually counts (because mine sure as fuck doesnt) so that my parents could get off my back about these things. im really confused about how to explain shit to them

and how to approach this whole thing because im so tired of having to constantly adapt to every new thing she insists on especially when im not mentally ready for it. she doesnt take my mental health seriously or considers it a priority and then tries to act like she cares (she does care, i know that, but her approach is all wrong) but refuses to take my opinion on it anyway, even tho im clearly the one suffering most. ive even told her (after a long time) that she hurts me but she wont stop

im sorry to dump this all on you but none of my friends have problems like this and my family doesnt believe in MIs because of the stigma around them here, and i dont know who else to ask for advice from. if you could give me anything at all, i’d appreciate it so much

_____________________________________________________________

Hmm, I don’t exactly know what you mean with "diagnosed in secret”. You don’t have access to any papers or anything else you could use as proof?

Asking the people who diagnosed you for something like a certification would be your easiest option, of course. But if that’s, for some reason, not possible, I would advice you to either talk to someone from an autism counselling centre (if that’s a thing where you live) or your doctor. They will help you find out how to get an official diagnosis, because I definitely think that would be your best course of action.

I unfortunately know a lot of parents who treat their autistic child like your mother does. And some of them refuse to accept the truth even when they’re confronted with hard facts and actual evidence, like a professional diagnosis. I think what helped a lot of people is talking about autism in a way that humanises us. Showing them interviews, videos or books by other autistic people in similar situations, with similar struggles, or just talking about as neutral as possible. No method is infallible, sadly, but I found that normalising or talking about the more positive aspects of autism will sometimes change the minds of parents with autistic children. Sometimes only to some degree and very slowly, but it’s still better than nothing, I suppose.

My parents were quick to accept that I’m autistic, but they’re pretty much like your mother when it comes to mental illnesses. It’s a very tricky situation and a topic I’m trying to avoid with them. I personally don’t think that changing the perspectives of one’s parents should be anyone’s main focus though, even if their words still hurt. Self acceptance and getting the help you might need are infinitely more important in the end.

I understand your concerns about therapy, I really do. Almost every autistic person has a comorbid diagnosis (I think it’s about 90%), or several, and getting the right kind of therapy is often unavoidable if we want to get better. But that’s also why it can be important to get an official diagnosis: regular therapy, with someone who doesn’t know a whole lot about autism (because let’s face it: even mental health professionals mostly know jack shit about autism if they didn’t study it) is often times almost completely fruitless. A good therapist won’t try to change your personality and autism symptoms by the way.

I know you said that your mother would want to pick your therapist, but it’s not for her to decide. Especially not when you’ve got the diagnosis, because the psychologists in charge will recommend you therapists that are well-versed in autism and the unique struggles we face. If you have still concerns about your mother, you can and should bring this up with those people as well! They will know how to best handle situations like yours, since it’s sadly not that uncommon.

The first step is usually the hardest. But to me it sounds like you desperately need to change something about your situation - you can see yourself that you won’t convince your mother the way you tried. But a diagnosis and therapy can help you in so many ways you might not even be aware of yet. It’s of course not a magical remedy to all your problems, but I think the fact that you reached out to me already shows that you’re on the right path. You seem to fully realise yourself that it can’t go on like that. Which is great!

So yes, my advice would be to first talk to someone from an Autism Centre of Excellence (or however it’s called where you’re from, it should be easy enough to find online) (you can usually e-mail them as well, if you don't want to call) or a doctor.

Another thing: if you haven’t already, I think it could help to check out the autism community online. There are many people in similar situations, with similar concerns, and just reading about other autistic people’s experiences online helped me a great deal. You can for example check out the #actuallyautistic tag on tumblr, or this blog. If you like, you can of course ask me more questions, of course.

I wish you the best of luck, anon!

#answered ask #anon #not dn

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radiqueer · 6 years ago

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I’ve been trying to figure out how to contribute to the “born this way” conversation, but I’m not fully sure how to articulate my ideas. For me I feel like my identity... like I feel I was “born this way” like I’ve had intermittent dysphoria for as long as I can remember. But also as far as mspec labels go I could ID as pan, or poly, or Omni, but I’ve always felt bi fits and that’s the identity I choose. My partner tho, feels that they, more than anything, chose to be bi (1/2)

My partner feels that they had no inclination towards being anything other than a straight man until well into their thirties, when, due to a lot of factors, they decided any company was good company and decided to see if they liked being with men. They had a good experience, and they feel they could have left it at that but CHOSE to continue to pursue their attraction to men, and then much more recently, in doing their own research about gender identity and being around me (2/3 oops)

They chose to question their gender identity (which as of right now is inconclusive), and my partner feels happy as a bi questioning person, but also felt happy as a straight man and could have remained so but chose to be happy a different way. Idk it’s complicated/messy and I don’t really get it but it’s how my partner feels and I believe them. And then Political lesbianism is a thing. Idk it’s hard for me to wrap my head around I wish I could contribute more. It’s def not one size fits all tho

this makes a ton of sense, thanks for sharing!

I feel like - in a lot of ways, being queer and identifying as queer changed me as a person. it changed everything, from the way I think about and approach new topics, the way I see myself and the world, my politics, my tastes in books and art. queerness is fundamental to me, but I can conceive not being queer. if I didn’t know it was an option to identify this way, if I didn’t grow in a home that encouraged me to question and pursue new avenues, I would be a different person. and I cannot with any certainty say that I would definitely identify as queer at some point, if not at 14 then at 17, 19, 25, 40. I think I am happier for being queer, because it is relieving to share an experience and a community (things which have been difficult for me in the past) with people who love and support me. I like having a voice and an opinion on issues. I like my politics. I don’t like being discriminated against, but who does?

there are so many ways to have a fluid identity. you can be the same person all your life with the same experiences and label yourself differently over time. like your partner. one could be happy in one’s assigned roles but happier in a different set that they sought out and choose (kudos to your partner for keeping an open mind and allowing themselves to be happy in a non-normative way, btw), you can have a fluid identity that changes with time, you can be one thing and identify as another, you can refuse a labels on principle, you can be a political lesbian (or it’s equivalents, I suppose? I don’t know if we have something analogous to political lesbianism in other queer subgroups. I think certain parts of the ace community are the closest we’ve come)

the problem is the idea that there’s only one way to be and feel about queerness and identity and labels. which, IME, is what the BTW crowd seeks to do - normalise us because we are an expression of naturally occurring human diversity. we deserve equality because we are people, just slightly different, and we didn’t choose to be this way any more than you did. it’s not our fault! give us some money! [/s]

people who are written over by this narrative, in no particular order:

questioning people who don’t even know whether they’re straight - they may or may not be

nb people who are often told we are special snowflakes, a symptoms of the excesses of liberal/left wing politics. that we wouldn’t exist if not for the internet [true of me if not for you / ymmv]

bisexual and mspec people

people with fluid identities

people who choose to present a certain way

political [orientation]

people who are choosing to not labels themselves out of fear

people whose identity is informed by trauma

etc

the problem is the dichotomy that seems to be essential to this debate - that you can only have one or the other, that people on one side keep trying to erase the opposing narrative. I frankly don’t know. I’ve only been a part of this debate for a few months and all my thoughts about BTW are informed by personal experience and what I have stumbled across on tumblr. not a comprehensive start by any means. but ime it’s always the BTWs who are trying to shove differing narratives away, and not the choicers. maybe @korrasera and i have different experiences! in fact, I think we have very different experiences

The problem I’m trying to highlight, the whole reason I made this post, is that I’ve never seen someone suggest that only BTW is valid. In fact, the only times I’ve ever seen people discussing BTW was to specifically suggest that we have to do whatever we can to erase it as an idea because they perceive it as being inherently exclusionary, as though the existence of people who were BTW meant that people could not be queer, gay, lesbian, or trans without having been born in that state. I think it’s a reasonable assumption to consider such intentions as being somewhat noble, since they’re meant to criticize and deconstruct social constructs of legitimacy, but I literally never see the topic raised without it being ‘let’s get rid of the idea that BTW people exist, it’s not true and it hurts the cause’.

[emphasis added all mine; taken from this post]

I have a different experience. I’ve seen BTW discussed as the only right way to be, and not only by exclusionists (I wouldn’t be able to find receipts on this - I remade my blog recently, and lost all my likes and the people I was following). even when I talk to people irl, I’m forced to resort to a narrative I don’t have any stake in to get my point across, a narrative that doesn’t help me. it’s frustrating and alienating. and I still don’t think we should do away with BTW. I think we make room for people like me to exist and talk, and define clearly what it means so more people can figure out whether or not they fit.

I read around some while I was writing this post, so here’s some stuff tangential but essential to my thoughts:

this post about the relationship of radfems to what constitutes essential womanhood

this post by the same user about why some people may choose a certain labels

another post by the same user

this post, which possibly everyone has read, but I was thinking about this part (emphasis mine)

My girlfriend Marna has been a queer activist since the late 80s. She’s told me about the incredible deliberation and debates LGBTQ+ activists had, in the late 90s and early 00s as the community began to see past the AIDS crisis and immediate goals of “surviving a plague” and “burying our dead.” There were a lot of things we wanted to achieve, but we had to decide how to allocate our scarce reserves of money, labour, publicity, and public goodwiil. Those were the discussions that decided the next big goals we’d pursue were same-sex marriage equality and legal recognition of medical gender transition.

From hearing her tell it, it seems like it was actually a wrenching decision, because it absolutely left a lot of people in the dust. A lot of people, her included, had broad agendas based on sexual freedom and the rights of people to do whatever they wanted with their bodies and consenting partners—and they agreed to put their broader concerns aside and drill down, very specifically, onto the rights of cis gays and lesbians to marry, and the ability to legally change your sex and gender.

As a political tactic it was terrifically effective. […]

Activists of 20 years ago chose to sideline and diminish efforts to blur and abolish the gender binary. Efforts to promote alternative family structures, including polyamorous families and non-sexual bonds between non-related adults. Efforts to fight the Christian cultural message that sex is dirty, sinful, bad, and in need of containment. Efforts to promote sexual pleasure as a positive good.

I couldn’t tell you why these posts stuck out to me while I was writing this, but they do a better job, by and large, of contextualising what I’ve said here

#sorry for hijacking ur point into a longwinded ramble #it stands pretty damn well on its own #im just rambly #original #born this way

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97sluv · 6 years ago

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Thoughts on It’s Okay, That’s Love

Judging this show on its poster, I anticipated a cheesy romance drama with a slice of life vibe - and that was spot on for the first part of the show. It was light-hearted, pretty vanilla stuff that I would expect of this genre, and the medical aspect was thrown in with Gong Hyo Jin’s character Ji Hae Soo as a fellow at a hospital’s psychiatry department. I would say that the opening scene was a rather odd choice for me because of how jarring it was.

The characters who stay in the share house are built upon and we get to see each one’s back story - kwangsoo’s character has Tourette syndrome, Sung Dong Il and his divorce story, and Hae Soo’s weird fear of sex and kissing which is later explained. Kwang Soo and Sung Dong Il’s characters are the BEST comedic duo I’ve seen in a long while, and they rep my exact brand of humour which I found very entertaining. I have to admit I was watching this show mainly because of Kwang Soo, and for the first part of the show that remained the case - his humour got me through the building of the romance, which was not all pleasant. Hae Soo and Jang Jae Yeol are both such strong-headed people, and that tough love/yelling at each other constantly was not something I could relate to. Not exactly the most healthy of relationships to begin with.

But as the story developed I could really see it happening as they learned to communicate with each other. And that’s when shit gets real - we learn about Jae Yeol’s OCD and traumatic past, Hae Soo’s childhood experiences etc. which culminate in their behaviour. But none can compare to the twist that came at the end! I would have to say that I kind of suspected it about halfway through the show, because a) I noticed passers-by gave Jae Yeol weird stares and looks whenever he was with Kang Woo (D.O’s character), and b) that one scene where Kwang Soo looks oddly at him really gave it away and I thought holy fkin shit. He’s not real?? But that can’t be?? And I started FREAking out. Because already from the weird back story of Jae Yeol’s older brother being totally psycho and trying to kill him all the time, and insisting that Jae Yeol killed their stepfather, made me realise that one of them must be crazy. Either his older brother was the crazy one - which would make total sense because he’s aggressive and vindictive - OR Jae Yeol is crazy and had altered memories, or so I thought.

When the big reveal came that Jae Yeol had undiagnosed schizophrenia, I remembered crying so much together with Hae Soo. I would say before this show that I was extremely unaware about these various mental health illnesses, and was incognisant of how severe schizophrenia actually can be. I must say that Gong Hyo Jin’s acting in this show was impeccable. I wasn’t a fan of hers after Jealousy Incarnate but her talent surely shone through. Firstly the scene where she cries in front of her cheating ex-boyfriend was amazing, and it conveyed emotions of a proud, confident woman at a vulnerable moment - one that she would consider shameful. When she cried about Jae Yeol finally sleeping peacefully in his bed, I cried with her. In fact I bawled. It was such an emotional journey, and I think this show did a wonderful job exposing the masses to a sliver of the pain of watching a loved one succumb to mental health. It tore me apart when I tried putting myself in her position. And that is props to her flawless execution of this character, and the intensity of emotions I felt towards the end really overwhelmed the other flaws of the show for me and sold it completely.

I think we tend to be too harsh on dramas sometimes - we expect a beautiful story arc with characters that show development and growth with a reasonable back story and closure with zero loose ends. But it’s admittedly difficult in 18 episodes! An instance of a minus point for me is that it’s pretty impressive of 16 year old Jae Yeol to have known his mother burned the house down and killed his abusive stepfather, and then chose to blame it on his older brother to save his mother, and then his mother conveniently has altered memories? I think it was made unnecessarily complex which resulted in a shaky foundation for Kang Woo as the manifestation of guilt towards his older brother. But there are many ways of interpreting his back story and how the trauma of abuse had basically fucked up all their brains. Still doesn’t excuse his older brother’s abuse towards him tho.

Among the criticism was also the fact that the element of psychiatry was grossly watered down, to which I say uh duh? It has to be palatable for the masses if awareness is to be spread about mental health, they cannot be rattling on about the technical terms and nuances of the illness all the time, which is why you will find that other medical shows do the same. I think the recognition by Korea’s schizophrenia association speaks to the show’s efforts in raising awareness - as someone who knew close to nothing, I walked away with food for thought about mental health, knowledge of Tourette syndrome, etc. It sort of normalised these illnesses for me - that they exist in a spectrum of severity, and seeing it manifested in characters that are functional, dynamic, multi-dimensional, really opened my eyes to this subject.

The community support also warmed my heart - seeing Kwang Soo root for Hae Soo and Jae Yeol, coming from a place of understanding and having struggled gaining society’s acceptance, really delivered a moment of solidarity. This drama really did good for me, in helping someone like me who has never properly considered this topic contextualise and bring it close to home, to stand in the shoes of a schizophrenic patient and hope to see how difficult it must be to basically have someone shatter your sense of reality - i mean imagine if someone told you one day that your best friend from school was a imagined figure? When what you know as the truth is being disputed by everyone else? That’s terrifying. In any case, I took away more than I expected going into this show, and I’m glad it has enriched me.

#thoughts #it's okay that's love

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selfsaving · 7 years ago

Text

general meta on little roosters of ryan + his state of mind ( plus some post - 11lr stuff i accidentally rambled about )

ten little roosters ( contains heavy spoilers ! )

here’s the thing . . . ryan is literally an ordinary guy. he’s a big nerd who plays video games for a living and likes his job and then suddenly all his coworkers are dying around him. and for a while , HE REALLY THINKS ITS HIM KILLING THEM.

i’ve spoken about it in this post but ryan struggles to differentiate between real + imaginary sometimes. he is VERY susceptible to suggestion , as in if you say ‘ ryan , you did x ’ he struggles to know whether that is true or not. even if there’s no WAY he could’ve done it.

so barb’s lil clues she leaves around for ryan that HE’S the killer . . . really work. when miles finds him in the sound booth , he’s locked himself in there in fear. to see what’ll happen —— whether someone else will die. he is TERRIFIED that some dark side of him has made its way into reality and he has killed michael + the gavins while dissociating.

only during all that time he’s trapped in the prop room does he sort of . . . calm down. start to believe it’s NOT actually him ( because why would he be in this damn hole if he was the killer ?? ). still when barbara catches him and admits she’s the killer + was manipulating him . . . it’s quite a big relief for him to KNOW that.

he sees michael , lindsay , miles and barbara die.

he sees gavin(s) and adam dead when still in the building. he sees EVERYONE ELSE’S BODIES at the crime scene the next day.

ryan does not consider himself to have murdered barbara. he has intrusive thoughts and nightmares that say the OPPOSITE , but rationally he does not blame himself for her death. she was trying to kill him ; she would have killed him ; it was entirely self defence.

similarly , RYAN DOES NOT CONSIDER HIMSELF TO HAVE EVER TAKEN ANOTHER PERSON’S LIFE. he knows , in reality , that he did kill barb , but he doesn’t fully believe it. CAN’T bring himself to fully accept that and i'm not sure he ever will.

between series

the next morning when he gets out , the police are there. obvs the rest of rt has been trying to get into work and found it all locked from the inside , so when ryan emerges HE has to tell everyone what’s happened. both the police and to his devastated coworkers.

the remaining achievement hunters mourn together and then disband ( i would imagine rt carries on but ah doesn’t ). ryan doesn’t really hear anything from them after that.

his mental health in this time . . . isn’t great. he sort of retreats into hiding for a little while ( a mixture of paranoia form intrusive thoughts + nightmares , and because he doesn’t really know what to DO now ). he’s really pretty isolated for a couple of years.

i’m not sure what changes for him to come back out again. but SOMETHING about his state of mind rejects his fear and decides he doesn’t want more people to die. so he offers services as a sort of detective to very select clients.

eleven little roosters ( also , obviously contains spoilers )

for example , rooster corps ! well , he less offer his services —— more he wakes up in a darkened room with the the big cock saying he’s the only man that can help and . . . not really giving ryan a choice otherwise. BUT when he’s handed a stack of files and sees that two of his old coworkers ( geoff and griffon ) are at risk , HE’S ALL IN.

his mental state is actually a lot better in 11lr. he’s had time to prepare and brace himself —— and he can stay HIDDEN with the germans while working on the case. something about it feels redeeming to him ( maybe he couldn’t save them before , but he can try now ).

the only person he actually sees die is adam ( ryan goes to the tetris match without telling anyone // following moose’s lead ). he sees gavin dead after the finale and sees files + photos of ALL OTHER AGENTS’ DEATHS ( luckily there’s no photos of geoff and griffon ).

post - series ( and hypothetical ministry of moose involvement )

again , the fact that he couldn’t solve it quick enough to save all the agents haunts him. but his guilt is nowhere near as bad as it was at rooster teeth. SOME OF THEM SURVIVED , and that’s better than last time. and he helped —— that makes him feel good.

at the end of 11lr he says he’s gonna retire ( not feeling USEFUL enough ). he probably goes back to georgia for a while and chills on a farm. and when i say ‘ a while ’ , i mean like a month. NORMAL . . . doesn’t feel normal any more to ryan. he’s grown used to the feel of danger ( and , weirdly , he’s sort of attached to the remainders of rooster corps ).

my theoretical arc for ryan post - 11lr ( that i haven’t written up and i’m sure will change if / when 12lr ever comes out ) is that he goes back to the ministry of moose.

he probably doesn’t train FULLY like a cia agent would , but he definitely gets SOME professional spy - esque training ( and a gun !!! finally ).

the idea of going out in the field is a very exciting one and he bugs the other agents to let him out quite often but honestly . . . he’s pretty scared by the idea of having to kill someone. so he’s the ministry’s tech guy ! he doesn’t make gadgets but he does their computer stuff and helps run the corps and dabbles in hacking a lil bit ( he’s still learning tho ).

he’s the guy in the earpiece when agents go on missions , so he can help out and be part of the action without actually BEING THERE. again , he’s new to it and can get overenthusiastic / too invested , but he likes it ! he feels like he’s helping.

his mental health is ok ! he’s ok ! his ocd is no worse than normal ( and , weirdly , being in a dangerous environment where death and violence is sort of normalised makes him feel sort of BETTER about having intrusive thoughts like that ?? idk man ) and now he feels like he’s on the general side of good / saving lives.

he has bad NIGHTMARES about what he’s been thru ( there’s a few faces that still haunt him ) and it fucks w his sleep schedule a lot. he has bad days , but he’s got a few friends ! my boy is damaged , but he’s a lil healed too and he’s doing ok.

#HOO this got long but !!!#my damaged boy :(#honestly this verse and 7dtd im like .......... just let this boy Rest .#@ ryan its not normal to feel comfortable in a dangerous environment !!!!!#plS like go live on a farm have some cows be Happy and Safe !!!!!!!! my boy :(#RYAN.#* & → AND THEN THERE WAS ONE >> RYAN HAYWOOD VERSES ☠☠ LITTLE ROOSTERS .#* & → YOU CAN BE IN HERE. BUT YOU’LL NEVER BE THIS >> RYAN HAYWOOD ☠☠ ABOUT .#death mention //#dissociation mention //#mental health //#gaslighting //#long post //

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t--o--f--u-blog · 6 years ago

Text

☼☼☼☼☼ also think tank a white lecturer using the n-word when quoting literature in a lecture? I think she used it once outside of quotation as well certainly not meant in a disrespectful way, just seems unnecessary

☐☐☐☐☐ better have a justification at least but if you just use it out of the blue it always seems like some attempt at provocation 'i can say this because my interests are purely academic'

☼☼☼☼☼ mmmmm we're reading uncle tom's cabin, so it's hard to avoid

☐☐☐☐☐ should only be quoted verbatim if absolutely necessary, if there's no alternative I think

☼☼☼☼☼ yeah seems like she could have avoided it pretty easily

☐☐☐☐☐ if she's making no acknowledgement of the word's relationship to her privilege, that's rly not good

☼☼☼☼☼ yeah she's older so there might just be an outdated perspective there 'I'm just quoting the text, it was anti-slavery so I'm fine' sort of mentality maybe?

☐☐☐☐☐ still she would know about the contemporary attitude to the word and she should at least mention that! ugh like it doesn't sound malicious or super super racist, but eh

☼☼☼☼☼ Yeah I feel iffffy about it

☐☐☐☐☐ should mention it!

☼☼☼☼☼ Trying to work out if I should send email and if so how to word it

☐☐☐☐☐ mm

☍☍☍☍☍ be interesting to actually properly discuss it

☐☐☐☐☐ yep

☍☍☍☍☍ heck I’d be interested to know more of a history of the word basically teach properly why its offensive

☼☼☼☼☼ Yeah, I might bring it up in the tutorial different teacher, but maybe good discussion

☐☐☐☐☐ mm that seems appropriate i'd love to hear how that goes

☍☍☍☍☍ uhhh there was someone who used it at Bar Oussou the host reallllly should’ve said something and I normally would but just too tired for confrontation

☼☼☼☼☼ Yeah ☐☐☐☐☐ was telling me Sounded very cringe

☐☐☐☐☐ v unfortunate most disappointed in yhe host tbh

☐☐☐☐☐ he maybe had a old-worldy attitude to it and didn't mind or was too cowardly lol which do u think?

☍☍☍☍☍ I think he thought it was in the context of the poem she didn’t use it to degrade someone directly, but the word itself is degrading

☐☐☐☐☐ ugh but the poem is in the context of fuckin oussou yep ppl need to have a think before using words

☍☍☍☍☍ I just think its great to have a stage to do emotional work, but it can cross a line into normalising shitty white behaviour

☐☐☐☐☐ mm

☍☍☍☍☍ I went to a coloured school so I can’t b racist wah wah wah

☐☐☐☐☐ and you have to consider your audience if your rant is dehumanising or brushes aside/causes suffering u gotta reconsider felt pretty ashamed on behalf of bartender/various black audience members not saying that dumb white shit would be acceptable with a different audience, but her obliviousness was kinda astounding

☼☼☼☼☼ wow yeah cringefest

☍☍☍☍☍ lol spoken word scene as a whole can b so lame haha rings true to why I/we left

☐☐☐☐☐ mm so macho! that's what I liked about talkbox some sensitivity there, gentleness

☍☍☍☍☍ still, I just wish people read more lok *lol

☐☐☐☐☐ yep I wish I read more

☍☍☍☍☍ like the stylistic range is generally pretty lame

☐☐☐☐☐ I guess that's why anyone reads mmm

☍☍☍☍☍ I wish I read more too

☐☐☐☐☐ hahahaha

☼☼☼☼☼ :')

☍☍☍☍☍ don’t mean to shit on everyon, I just think the scene as a whole and the conception of poetry is lacklustre - it doesn’t seem like the time for poetry, sometimes

☐☐☐☐☐ mm

☍☍☍☍☍ ppl too distracted by netflix uwu sounds like phones but too much

☐☐☐☐☐ doesn't seem like the time for art, sometimes! hahhh

☍☍☍☍☍ its definitely a time for music

☼☼☼☼☼ I think there's a place for poetry It's just raps and memes

☍☍☍☍☍ yeh but I play dat long game there might not b a place now but I’mma fkn make one whether you like it or not lol

☼☼☼☼☼ Oh yeah fair go 4 it

☐☐☐☐☐ loll

☍☍☍☍☍ I just mean that I think 'poetry' has evolved into other forms, and now the traditional form is struggling to find a place I mean does anyone pay attention to Victorian satirical cartoons? I don’t I think it’s also tho that the low brow is more apparent in the moment, the high brow more apparent from a distance the shit sinks, basically

☼☼☼☼☼ elaborate?

☍☍☍☍☍ time brings forward higher brow material while a lot of lower brow stuff falls back or like there’s an art for getting through your days, and there’s an art for elaborate long form spiritual liberation

☼☼☼☼☼ so u don't mind about a lack of audience now if your work has staying power?

☍☍☍☍☍ different works have different digestion time and yes that is what I’m saying

☼☼☼☼☼ hmmmmmmm

☍☍☍☍☍ hmmmmmmmm?

☐☐☐☐☐ personally I don't know whether I'm prioritising the reception of my work or its value to me right now i feel poetry/art in general are useful tools for thinking about the world useful philosophical tools i guess and idk whether i'm learning for the sake of my own knowledge/making 'better' art or learning so what I put out into the world is better received I suppose the two aren't mutually exclusive but yeah - feeling fairly indifferent to the idea of creating work that will persist right now part of me feels more comfortable with being lost forever lol or at least that I should become comfortable with that, bc that is what will happen inevitably

☍☍☍☍☍ I just think in this atmosphere of complete denial of the arts as an important component of society, as well as the stigmatisation of ritual and other mystical practices that used to house what we now might describe as an artist, its important that we follow our intuition rather than give in to a system that routinely prevents us having access to basic resources like I want to be there for whoever is there when this period comes to end and those peoples are looking for anything to rudder them, whether or not I’m alive

☐☐☐☐☐ you want to add to the cultural record?

☍☍☍☍☍ I want provide a map for future generations is how I would put it

☐☐☐☐☐ mm how do you feel one can ensure the persistence of their own work? or are you just hoping it'll be around for others I suppose whether or not anything lasts is out of ur control past a certain point

☍☍☍☍☍ for one I make an effort to give away a lot of work

☐☐☐☐☐ mm

☍☍☍☍☍ I also store it all and make sure that that stockpile is kept w care but I also think there’s something to be said that I try and operate within many pre-existing canons I also it’s important to use the more meme-y, short stay work to bring attention to the slower works yeah, re: canons, like tanka and before that wakka as poetic forms stem back as far as a thousand years - perhaps more by putting myself in conversation with the ancients... idk it feels a bit like entering a cultural refrigerator haha

☐☐☐☐☐ mm

☍☍☍☍☍ sometimes I find it better to see my individual works as modules that make up a whole more prescient than its parts (Morton lolz) soo... maybe my work won’t carry the same weight until I finish, so to speak who knowsss but this how I think about it lol

☐☐☐☐☐ best to try and contribute something I spose rather than do nothing w ur resources

☍☍☍☍☍ I’m weird with this shit u don’t have to be

☐☐☐☐☐ mm it seems fairly simple to me and not that weird

☍☍☍☍☍ not everyone should spend their life tending their gravestone it’s a job for a particular type of person, and I am it

☐☐☐☐☐ but in a sense everyone does anyway everyone does things with the future in mind or without it in mind I suppose

☐☐☐☐☐ and i guess that influences what you leave when you die eheh, whether you do it consciously or unconsciously

☍☍☍☍☍ I just am particularly stubborn that I have something to offer - I think its partially a result of being denied that a lot in school, I found other ways to have social bonds that were more... non linear bonds with past peoples, and inadvertently bonds with future people

☐☐☐☐☐ mm

☍☍☍☍☍ I find it frustrating that its seen as arrogant to suggest your work should be read after you die - if anything its remarkably humble as I'm acknowledging that I will never properly see the fruits of my labour it's a ridiculously isolating position to find oneself in, where your best friends - books, music, content - have no form of human intimacy with you and completely defy all survivalistic, lizard-brain humanity plus you're just on a total different dimension from most people you meet

☐☐☐☐☐ mm you're in a very specific position here

☍☍☍☍☍ lol goodluck catching up ☼☼☼☼☼

☼☼☼☼☼ unrelated btw

(☼☼☼☼☼ posts a meme in chat)

☍☍☍☍☍ see y'all @ da rally (in reference to the meme)

☐☐☐☐☐ where and when is this? oh oops thought you meant a real one

☼☼☼☼☼ hahaha

☍☍☍☍☍ xD

☼☼☼☼☼ structurally is the meme ok ? took the photo the other day, and just added the text.

☍☍☍☍☍ yes are u going to weigh in on the conversation tho lol

☼☼☼☼☼ nah not really

☍☍☍☍☍ meme fine

☼☼☼☼☼ I have so little to add

☍☍☍☍☍ well hm why make memes? why not write novel? do memes have staying power?

☐☐☐☐☐ it's a question of what timescale is important to you at any given time maybe

☍☍☍☍☍ oh absolutely - not trying to infer a hierarchy here, I just think there are different approaches for different problems

☐☐☐☐☐ sometimes I'll say something to someone so they'll remember it for tomorrow, sometimes I'll say something to someone and hope they'll remember forever lol mm I don't think I care about staying power that much

☐☐☐☐☐ memes have such a short lifetime, they're like cultural mayflies haha

☼☼☼☼☼ Yeah defs

☍☍☍☍☍ why tho lol

☼☼☼☼☼ Because the art itself can date while still inspiring change

☍☍☍☍☍ yeah so using it pragmatically like a single use tissue

☼☼☼☼☼ If you create something short lived, it (with the help of other artists producing similar work) is able to push art and society in a specific direction The butterfly effect I guess

☍☍☍☍☍ it's true that you have more effect in the current conversation

☐☐☐☐☐ mm

☍☍☍☍☍ but that conversation draws intensively on a language formed by the ancients so the two are dependent on each other, a back and forth

☐☐☐☐☐ and that's dependent on their work's longevity?

☍☍☍☍☍ not following ur question

☐☐☐☐☐ not following your point haha hmm

☼☼☼☼☼ so you're suggesting a works longevity is crucial in that it helps reinforce and update the ancient language in which short term work of the future will be influenced by?

☐☐☐☐☐ mm also - what if of all the work you make, it's only a meme that survives the passage of time?

☍☍☍☍☍ basically... like you're just reiterating points that have been made more in depth in 'higher' brow culture - that's definitely how I feel when writing raps

☐☐☐☐☐ like Roman graffiti surviving on the walls or whatever

☍☍☍☍☍ did you a hear copy of the I Ching, the Chinese numerology classic more than a thousand years old, was found in the 70s and had a heap more sections and a different order? effectively completely changing the understanding of the I Ching gotta get those nice lead storage chambers ayyyyy ahahaha it was found buried in a coffin, obvs haha

☐☐☐☐☐ mm

☍☍☍☍☍ a lot of Chinese philosophers only exist in so much as someone else described them

☼☼☼☼☼ But what does that changing of contexts of that piece actually mean for us? Is updated Ching from the coffin helping us in any way?

☍☍☍☍☍ I think for me finding the I Ching and looking over it is like a person in a thousand years finding a functional iPhone it gives great insight into human impulses regardless of time and offers a way of writing the past a new, which in turn presents a new future (thinking of the cowboy article you sent me) reconceptualizing the past IS the future look at 'Make America Great Again' or calls to restore the caliphate both are founded on histories that have more to do with our current state than the actual happenings of the past

☼☼☼☼☼ I do see where you're coming from I like the idea that it's important to preserve our work for understand the past better And I hope that someone in the future will have a clearer understanding of our time through your well preserved works But what fucking future is it

☍☍☍☍☍ haha but like looking back we see people been asking that for a veeery long time I get it seems on a new scale but we're on a new scale too

☼☼☼☼☼ It does seem that yes Also if we do survive and keep on teching on

☍☍☍☍☍ I'm for an integration of the human/natural binary where we properly acknowledge our mutual codependency, the earth and humanity that is

☼☼☼☼☼ Are we even going to be translatable? Is the functioning iPhone found by the future person going to even be able to be translated? Or will it be meaningless because everyone is already part of the grid

☍☍☍☍☍ where artificially effecting the climate for the benefit of 'nature' isn't seen as strange but completely akin to Aboriginal burn back practices

☐☐☐☐☐ i guess it's productive to hope that it will be translatable

☍☍☍☍☍ we've always interfered in the running of nature

☐☐☐☐☐ mm

☍☍☍☍☍ ehhh idk we translated fucking hieroglyphics

☼☼☼☼☼ Or future tech can look into the past and someone is watching our lives as we type this now, constantly being understood through our context in a way we can't comprehend through our recording processes shrugs

☍☍☍☍☍ I mean yeah, imagine if the internet was even vaguely archived

☼☼☼☼☼ You probably have a better understanding of how the future will pan out than I do tho

☍☍☍☍☍ even if 0.1 % was kept, it would be a massive resource

☼☼☼☼☼ No sass intended there, I'm sincere

☍☍☍☍☍ lol idk I just try to see a bigger picture and it keeps me calm remember me old saying? we survived the plague and nukes lol

☼☼☼☼☼ I just don't see the issue with creating short term work, especially if it is preserved

☍☍☍☍☍ oh neither do I

☼☼☼☼☼ Like a meme may have more impact than a novel rn

☐☐☐☐☐ well it could be argued that we're yet to survive nukes but I see your point impact on various timescales

☼☼☼☼☼ I've heard the plague make be thinking of making a comeback too haha

☐☐☐☐☐ mm

☍☍☍☍☍ oh duh peasantry is fully hip rn

☐☐☐☐☐ but like

☍☍☍☍☍ bring back the boils, they look great with my Balenciaga sneakers

☐☐☐☐☐ lol bubonic chic

☼☼☼☼☼ Pretty close to heroin chic tbh haha

☍☍☍☍☍ not jking that was tb

☐☐☐☐☐ but like, I don't find a huge amount of solace in the fact that we survived the plague

☍☍☍☍☍ "The Victorians romanticized the disease and the effects it caused in the gradual build to death. For decades, many beauty standards emulated or highlighted these effects. And as scientists gained greater understanding of the disease and how it was spread, the disease continued to keep its hold on fashion. and the severity of the corsets was known to harm the lungs in such a way that would increase the likelihood of transmission LOOOL

☐☐☐☐☐ mm Balenciaga look out idk it's a question of what capacity we survive in

☼☼☼☼☼ lollllll

☐☐☐☐☐ quite depressing to think about

☍☍☍☍☍ eating disorders have a pretense

☐☐☐☐☐ what if ecocide leaves a few insular eco fascist regimes who gradually diminish over centuries always engaged in pointless wars of attrition with one another lol

☍☍☍☍☍ I mean you could probably say the same thing of colonial regimes now

☐☐☐☐☐ just because we can survive, doesn't mean my outlook should b at all rosy :((

☍☍☍☍☍ point is its a big ol' world that has plenty of room for pain AND love any future pain you think is imminent probably already is happening, and nonetheless breakfast tasted good this morning

☼☼☼☼☼ 'The hipster middle class would dress with raggedy beards and large jackets and refuse to use deodorant, perhaps to reflect the look of people suffering from homelessness at the time. It is suspected that this made them less likely to be hired, and therefore more likely to become homeless themselves.' ☍☍☍☍☍ ahahaha

☐☐☐☐☐ mm that's true hahhh

☼☼☼☼☼ Planning on making this into a full essay. Might not be popular now, but I think it has staying power? Soz for shitposting haha

☍☍☍☍☍ I was talking with ☲☲☲☲☲ a while back, and something struck me - she said, "I never thought this age would have its own fleet of particular medical conditions." (or something like that lol, translated via my nerd brain)

☼☼☼☼☼ Yeah that didn't quite sound like her But that sentiment is great

☍☍☍☍☍ 'fleet'

☼☼☼☼☼ In that ofc there is, but also wow yeah ofc!

☐☐☐☐☐ mmm hahh these conversations should be recorded so we can all think about em without scrolling up endlessly

☼☼☼☼☼ I do like the idea of people reading these works in the future tho

☐☐☐☐☐ and also so that they can be preserved for 10,000+ years of course

☼☼☼☼☼ In the same way we read the letters sent between dead artists now

☐☐☐☐☐ mm very true

☍☍☍☍☍ mmm

☐☐☐☐☐ messenger is not a particularly stable storage medium and also is more vulnerable to third party scrutiny although the fact we're reading artists letters now means that medium is also pretty fucking vulnerable to scrutiny lol

☍☍☍☍☍ I fucking found the word! (sorry was searching for it so hard) Neurasthenia https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Neurasthenia

☼☼☼☼☼ Americanitis lol

☍☍☍☍☍ uhh the page doesn't rly talk about this, but its like a condition of over-working effectively, and people would try and get prescribed the pills to treat it as a way of signalling they were a dedicated worker its total hokey

☐☐☐☐☐ wow yeah you mentioned this a while back

☼☼☼☼☼ oh I've heard a similar thing in Japan were workers will pretend to fall asleep at their desks to show how hard they're working No idea the trust behind it tho

☍☍☍☍☍ to this day, "In Japan, shinkei-suijaku is treated with Morita therapy involving mandatory rest and isolation, followed by progressively more difficult work, and a resumption of a previous social role. The diagnosis is sometimes used as a disguise for serious mental illnesses such as schizophrenia and mood disorders." a dignified mental illness uwu none of that lower class shit I'm a classy fuck with money, I don't get the same mental conditions as the poor lolol reminds me of now: I don't have shitty parents, I just have adhd (not to deligitimise all uses of adhd, just over diagnosed)

☼☼☼☼☼ mmmmm i feel u yes this has been a wild ride

☍☍☍☍☍ yes I’m leaving to get late lunch uwu have a good day in this cosmic spider web lololol

☼☼☼☼☼ :')

☍☍☍☍☍ Like the burning of this charcoal fire, our years too will soon expire Kobayashi Issa listening to Krista Tippet talk with Maria Popova, this particular phrase resonated with our conversation: we live in a world where disruption over-fetishised; we need cultural stewardship to help along new waves of disruption

☼☼☼☼☼ How would u define cultural stewardship in a practical sense?

☍☍☍☍☍ caring for the legacy of those past as a means of refreshing their insight for a new age a very straightforward example would b the importance of new translations, in this regard - as our understanding and depth of connection to Japanese society has deepened, so too have our translations dusting off the books so to speak in some sense I see that in our music too or reappropriating to a new context

☼☼☼☼☼ Well remasters are a time terry literal example Fuck

☍☍☍☍☍ time terry

☼☼☼☼☼ Pretty* not time terry lol

☼☼☼☼☼ lime berry yeah exactly

☼☼☼☼☼ Slime Jerry

☍☍☍☍☍ I mean rereleasing is an obvs example mhm but more abstract examples are how I’ve exported into both your brains Bridle/Steyerl/Haraway via conversation and art lolol I’m helping it move from one place to another same w Zappa lol

☐☐☐☐☐ also - looking after artist friends being generous I feel these are acts of pre-emptive cultural stewardship

☍☍☍☍☍ haha yeah definitely different time scales it could function on

☐☐☐☐☐ looking after and maintain communities

☍☍☍☍☍ hosting open mics lol helping teach ppl poetry lollll

☐☐☐☐☐ not allowing hate speech to creep into open mics lol

☼☼☼☼☼ Truuuuu Or anywhere for that matter

☐☐☐☐☐ not becoming so dusty that you actually have a detrimental impact on cultural progression

☍☍☍☍☍ I think religions only exist in so far as they have active practitioners

☐☐☐☐☐ mm

☼☼☼☼☼ Tru

☍☍☍☍☍ I think my sense is, in religion, this same argument plays out with orthodoxy versus mysticism Maintenance of buildings is in there too for religion People being assigned paid positions as the keepers and givers of religious knowledge oh yeah thinking a lot here of Shanzai, ☐☐☐☐☐, and the idea of an object as a lived practice

☐☐☐☐☐ when home I'm gonna do my best to archive this conversation mmm

☍☍☍☍☍ you’re going to steward our conversation bout stewardship ...

☐☐☐☐☐ this is all going in

☍☍☍☍☍ ...the tv where I am says “The comedian getting behind ‘Know Thy Nuts’” and there are big walnuts on the screen

☐☐☐☐☐ ???????

☍☍☍☍☍ “I didn’t realise chemotherapy would be such great comedic material!”

☐☐☐☐☐ ¿¿¿¿¿¿

☼☼☼☼☼ Huhhhh

☍☍☍☍☍ lol highly recommend https://itunes.apple.com/au/podcast/on-being-with-krista-tippett/id150892556?mt=2&i=1000429408054https://itunes.apple.com/au/podcast/on-being-with-krista-tippett/id150892556?mt=2&i=1000429408054

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fluflesnufaluphagus · 8 years ago

Text

Rings Of The Cosmos

That title is just the coolest way I could think of to sum up this idea So basically I just read through a literal Shit ton of the humans are space orcs stuff and I got to thinking all the aliens already are in contact with eachother before they find us right so here is my theory as to why this is The closer to the Center you get the more inhabitable planets you find all these dudes found eachother really quickly and were like "let's become homies" (friendly reminder that these guys are from REALLY mineraly rich plants so war to them is a foreign policy) they keep on doing this eventually have to fight some wars and gather a military Eventually they start to notice that the further out they go the more dangerous planets get and consequently the tougher the inhabitants get. so they do some math and are like "Kay so intelligent cannot be found this distance away from the Center" this place becomes known as the Dead Zone They get proven wrong a bunch of times the first time they find a creature in the Dead Zone it's a zaxxo (I just made that name up give me a break) which are essentially a really fucking big single cell organism they survive on sunlight and can adapt to anything except temperature which is fine for them as they live in THE FUCKING VACUUM OF SPACE. Anyways language barriers were a Bitch with these guys but eventually a solution was reached So then people start going "hey if one thing can live in the Dead Zone why can't another" Which is pretty sound logic you know So then they find the drakeks (look I'm bad with names okay) which are these super tall armor plated motherfuckers with poisonous spikes emitting from every orifice I mean sure they're not the smartest but they don't need to when they can survive the gravity of their planet which is only THE SIZE OF OUR SUN yeah they're fucking op. eventually peaceful contact is established and most of them are enrolled into the military (tho there is one REALLY popular drakek musician) They keep on exploring for maybe a thousand more years and then everyone goes "okay that's it we already going Found two species capable of jumping from one planet to another (turns out that if you put a drakek on a normal planet they're even more terrifying, what gives?)" it's a bit after the Dead Zone exploration program is shut down that humans show up and there's the normal "OH MY DEROG THESE FUCKERS CAN'T BE KILLED" then after ages and ages humans are kinda normalised and integrated like they're still REALLY fucking handy to have around and really cute and all the other goodness that is associated with the humans are space orcs stuff. This is the setting for an idea of mine that I may or may not end up posting I honestly don't know if you read to the end of this I love you. Bye

#space australia #space orcs #space orks #humans are weird #humans are space orcs #i feel proud #is this a good?

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chaosbisexual · 7 years ago

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Bookish Questions:- 1-50

tysm !!!

1. What is your favourite book and/or book series of all time?

Harry potter has definitely had a profound impact on my life.like,, harry potter. but a close second is the chronicles of narnia (i have aside blog for that which is why you never see any of that content)

2. What is the longest book you have ever read? How many pages?

Order of the phoenix, probs. i’ll get back to you with how manypages.

3. What is the oldest book you have ever read? (Based on itswritten date)

i mean i did randomly read the bible a lot as a child (not bci’m reliegous but bc i just randomly read the books on my relatives shelves)but Black Beauty was written in the 1800s-early 1900s wasn’t it? if not, thenNorthanger Abbey by Jane austen.

4. What is a book series that everyone else loves but you do not?

twilight or hush hush. ugh.

5. What book or book series would you like to see turned into afilm/ TV series?

TRC IS GETTIN A SHOW !! TRC IS GETTIN !! A !! SHOW !! i’d alsolike to see a show based on his dark materials, since the movie (i still retainthat it was good) was a flop. the selection would also be cool to see. andPERCY JACKSON NOT THE STEAMING SHIT PILES OF MOVIES. BETTER.

6. What is your favourite stand-alone book?

stardust by neil gaiman or where rainbows end by cecelia ahern,or perks of being a wallflower by stephen czbotsky. (or p&p ornorthanger abbey by jane austen)

7. What is a book that you feel glad for not reading?

twilight.i have read snippets of the gender bend and by. god.

8. What is a book that you feel guilty for not not reading?

six of crows. but its on the TBR.

9. What is a book you have read that is set in your country ofbirth?

i read a few of the “our australian girl” stories when iwas younger but ?? not much else im afraid :((((

10. What is a book that you own more than one copy of?

i used to own more than one copy of divergent, but that was bcthey were both presents and i’ve given away both now. i also have multiplecopies of the hp books (at mums house and dads)

11. What horror book made you really scared?

idont really read horror books?

12. What book do you passionately hate?

twilight.

13. What is the biggest book series you have read? How many booksare in it?

hp and narnia both have 7 books, but harry potter is by far thebiggest (although it ironically covers a much smaller timeline.)

14. What book gives you happy memories?

harry potter, where rainbows end, perks.

15. What book made you cry?

HARRY POTTER, NARNIA, THE RAVEN CYCLE, WHERE RAINBOWS END,,,like any book im super emotional

16. What book made you laugh?

perks and where rainbows end.

17. What is your favourite book that contains an LGBTQ+ character?

Carriehope fletcher’s book (before you turn down youtuber’s book; its fiction, notbased on her) she has a bi character who talks about being bi and how he dateda man (to his girlfriend) and a pansexual character who is just. caught kissinggirls and they’re both normalised and cool. so i liked that.

18. Have you read a book with a male protagonist? What is it?

*cough* harry potter. percy jackson.

19. Have you read a book set on another planet? What is it?

I don’t think I have actually ??? unlessyou count the crappy doctor who novelizations

20. Have you ever been glad tonot finish a series? Which?

Divergent. It got really shitty.

21. Have you ever read a book series because you were pressured?

I don’t think so ?? everything I read iswhat I choose so,,,

22. What famous author have you not read any books by?

Stephen king and George r r martin. But they’reon my tbr.

23. Who is your favourite author of all time?

j.k or neil gaiman.

24. How many bookshelves do you own?

Three (one big one, a small one, andthen one at my mum’s house)

25. How many books do you own?

I just counted roughly 70 in the room imin now, so that would mean I actually own 80-100 books all up ??

26. What is your favourite non-fiction book?

Milk and honey by rupi kaur OR theencyclipeida of greek mythology bc its hella interesting

27. What is your favourite children’s/middle-grade book?

Black beauty, narnia, hp, or thegirlfriend fiction series ?? like I know a lot of it was shitty but one of the firstlgbt books I read was girlfriend fiction, so I love a select few of them.

28. What is your next book on your TBR?

I have the six of crows ibooks (s/o toaimee ur gr8) so I need to get on that,, and I need to completely finish hisdark materials, because I’ve only done book 1.

29. What book are you currently reading?

The raven king by maggie steifvater. Itsp good. I don’t want it to end tho

30. What book are you planning on buying next?

Anna Kareninaby leo Tolstoy or I’ll give you the sun by jandy nelson

31. What was the cheapest book you bought?

An old poetry book from the 40s was like$3,and I’m sure there were a few other antique / op shop buys that were just asgood.

32. What was the most expensive book you bought?

I have a few hardcover copies of booksthat were about $40-$50 each ?? I’m so cheap lmao

33. What is a book you read after seeing the movie/ TV series?

Perks. And I don’t regret that either.

34. What is the newest book you have bought?

Milk and honey

35. What three books are you most looking forward to reading thisyear?

The raven king, I’ll give you the sun,six of crows.

36. What is a book you love that has a terrible trope? (Lovetriangle, etc)

A book called “she’s with the band” (girlfriendfiction) has a “gay best friend !!” the plus side is he’s gay and greek so ,,,hes p cool.

37. Have you read a book in a different language? What was it?

Shakespeare was written in ye olde Englishso does that count ?? I’ve also read a few small things in French ???

38. What is a book you’ve read that is set in a time period beforeyou were born?

THE GREAT GATSBY AKA ONE OF THE MOSTWONDERFULLY WRITTEN BOOKS

39. What book offended you?

The cursed child. That is not the harrypotter I grew up with.

40. What is the weirdest book you have read?

Alicein wonderland is pretty weird when you think about it. Was she high onsomething? Was carroll?

41. What is your favourite duology?

Me before you + after you by jojo moyes

42. What is your favourite trilogy?

the selection by keira cass or inkheartby corneila funke.

43. What book did you buy because of its cover?

Looking for Alaska intrigued me bc I waslike ?? what does the flower mean ?? what does it have to do with Alaska??

44. What is a book that you love, but has a terrible cover?

Stardust probably ??

45. Do you own a poetry anthology? What is your favourite poemfrom it?

I have two; milk and honey and a vintageone called “fresh fields.”

“Everyrevolution starts and ends with his lips” – milk and honey, rupi kaur

“smells,”fresh fields.

46. Do you own any colouring books based off other books?

Multiple mp +fbawtft ones yes.

47. Do you own any historical fiction?

Black beauty ??

48. What book made you angry?

Cursed child.

49. What book has inspired you?

Harry potter, perks, inkheart.

50. What book got you into reading?

Without a doubt, harry potter and narniadid. My mum used to read them to me and it was the. Best part of being young. Itwas amazing.

tysm nonnie !! sorry it took so long !

#asks #anon

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pessimisticpleasure · 8 years ago

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A Collection of Thoughts on The 100 From Someone Who Just Binged Seasons 1-3 For The First Time...

(Disclaimer, this is written prior to me watching the episodes of season four, don’t yell at me)

About three years ago or whenever the first season of The 100 ended, I tried watching it. My memory was that I’d ‘noped’ at the deformed deer and stopped although on my second watch it turned out I’d actually got about five episodes in and I guess just forgotten to watch the rest? Anyway, I had a head full of spoilers from some of the blogs I follow being big fans (as well Bellarke shippers which meant I was waiting for Bellamy and Clarke to be together before I realised it wasn’t cannon so well done for being so dedicated to your edits that I actually thought it was real) but decided to give it another go anyway and ended up watching the first three seasons in less than two weeks. This is kind of just a collection of thoughts I’ve had (mostly about Kane if I’m honest because Henry Ian Cusick was the reason I started to watch this show in the first place).

No-one is strictly good or evil... Remember when you all probably thought that Kane was evil for the first few episodes? That was me literally less than a week ago and now I’m on the verge of tears every scene he has with Abby (forget all the Clarke ships, Kabby is where my heart lies, I love them more than words) or is a Concerned Parent to any of the kids. Also points for moral compass Clarke turning into The Commander of Death, Jaha being one of the biggest plot twists ever and the entire existence of John Murphy (who’s getting a whole paragraph later). I really like that it’s not a show about good vs bad, it’s a show about doing the best you can, every action and person is a shade of grey.

Literally tho, Kane is amazing... If he isn’t your fave you’re wrong, that’s honestly just a fact. I thought he was going to be another hot villain for me to love (which I wasn’t mad about) and now he’s just a guy trying to do the best he can. And he has a beard now which makes him look even better. Also him and Indra are my BrOTP.

Consequences maketh the show... That’s a proverb, right?Too many times on TV shows somehow everything’s okay at the last minute, and I get that to keep characters alive and tension high, some of that needs to happen. But a lesser show would have found a way for Clarke to miraculously save Finn (so glad that didn’t happen) or, remember when a girl who’d just been stabbed was the only one who could stop the mountain exploding? She would have lived just long enough to save everyone and I was shocked when she didn’t. Even if the main characters do seem a bit death-defying (c’mon, they’re never killing Bellamy or Clarke and if they did it would be a long, meaningful death) it’s good to watch a show where actions actually matter and not everyone is saved all of the time.

BUT they go a bit overboard with the deaths though... Literally why did they kill Lincoln off? It was so random that some Grounders happened to be in the camp when Pike took over and it felt like they just wanted to write him out? Even though it was this big long emotional scene, his death felt really empty because he seemed to have had no screen time for ages doing anything other than talking to Octavia (they should have killed her instead, worst character for sure imo). Killing a character is fine and no matter how attached I am if the death has purpose and meaning, I won’t get mad. Contrast it with Lexa’s death, which despite being part of the horrible Bury Your Gays trope was really meaningful and kind of had to happen for everything else to go on in the season, his was so pointless and apart from a few anguished looks when people found out and Octavia eventually killing Pike it seemed to have very few consequences.

John Murphy is the best character probably ever in anything... I haven’t looked on tumblr for anything because I haven’t watched a few season four episodes but is everyone as gagged by John as I consistently am? He’s such a good example of an anti-hero, I honestly can’t praise the writing enough. It’s a difficult line to toe to have a character who’s openly self-serving and yet somehow still quite likable, someone who’s caused a lot of damage (it’s literally his fault Raven is in constant pain) and who despite that I’m still kind of rooting for, and I think it’s because there’s an element of relatability; we’d all like to envision ourselves doing the right thing like the other characters try to but there’s an element of selfishness within everyone and some of us in that situation would definitely end up like him (tbh me).

Casually gay characters tho... Stories about characters realising and coming to terms with their sexuality are definitely important, but equally important are characters who just happen to be gay and work towards normalising being gay. There’s a tendency for a character to come out and suddenly their sexuality is their whole personality and the only story they have and introducing it in a normalised way is a great way to avoid that. Miller, who Bellamy happens to mention has a boyfriend at one point, and Clarke who’s bisexuality is introduced by her kissing a girl (and also is supported by her mother which is so cute and made me cry), are great examples of this. It’s amazing how few shows actually do this and resort to sexuality as a plot device rather than a casual detail about the character.

I get Bellarke even if I don’t ship it... Bellamy and Clarke are your (I have to stop saying ‘you’ like I’m not a fan now, I feel like a pretender because I could have been watching from the beginning) Carol and Daryl, and as a big Caryl fan I truly hope they end up together. Personally, Clexa was my jam but only because I was living for Clarke being a chill, openly bisexual character and Lexa’s gone now so I’m not going to be mad at all if she ends up with Bellamy. I feel like they’d be stupid not to do it at some point?

Sorry just one more time Kane and Abby... I just need a moment to appreciate how perfect they are together and also how hot Kane suddenly became when he grew that beard. I’m 99% sure the beard was why Abby was suddenly all about him. Gurl same.

(Edie: Guess who just finished what there is to watch of season four and now feels like her life has no meaning -it’s me! This is the quickest I’ve watched a 45 minute/episode show since I was about fourteen and I remember why I stopped...)

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