#I’m still mad at SPN though

[lorstone]

Can we PLEASE stop sending gay love interests to some kind of hell?! 😂

[trashmoutth]

You wanna keep arguing now?

Dean Winchester oneshot Summary: Reader and Charlie go on a hunt by themselves and it goes wrong. Now you're stuck in a motel with a pissed of Dean Winchester. Pairing: Dean x f!reader, implied Sam x f!reader (platonic) Warrning(s): NSFW, minors dni!, smut, angst, mentions of death, arguing, english is not my first language and I didn't write for awhile but my spn obsession is back and I felt the need.

„What the hell were you thinking?!“

He was furious with you, you knew that. But after two weeks of being cooped up in the bunker you were starting to go crazy. So, when Charlie called to ask for your help on a vampire case you did not think twice about it. You weren’t exactly a full-fledged hunter per se, but you’ve had some experience in the past couple of years. You’ve helped the boys fight demons, angels, even leviathans, so you believed you could handle yourself against some punk-ass vamps. Not to mention, Charlie was a friend, and you were bored out of your mind.

You left a note for Sam, took one of the cars from the bunker (well, borrowed) and drove off to meet with Charlie. What you did not expect was the case going downhill as quickly as it did. The vamps captured you, fed on you and were trying to decide weather to turn you or kill you, when he came barging in. He took the entire nest out in less than five minutes and set you free. Charlie broke her leg so he dropped her off in a hospital and was currently driving you back to the bunker.

You were grateful to him for saving you, of course, but you knew that he was fuming. He was driving for an hour without saying a word to you and you could sense the anger coming off of him. He didn’t even turn the music on so you sat there uncomfortably in complete silence, only accompanied by the sound of the car engine.

“Dean…”, you tried to begin a sentence, but he quickly cut you off.

“Shut the hell up! I don’t wanna hear it!”

You took a deep breath. You tried to keep your cool because you knew you were in the wrong here, but the way he spoke to you started to make you angry.

“Dean, I know I shouldn’t have left, but you and Sam were working your own case and Charlie needed help…”

“If Charlie needs help, she can always call me! Or Sam! Or Cas! What the hell were you thinking?! Just leaving the bunker like that?! No note, no anything…”

“I left a note!” you protested.

“Well, I didn’t get it!”

“I left it on Sam’s table…”

“Oh, I see! That’s nice! So now you and Sam are keeping stuff from me? That’s great…”

You rolled your eyes. He was so dramatic.

“It’s not like that…”

“No, no, no, you know what? That’s fine! You and Sammy have something going on, I don’t give a crap, but the next time your ass needs saving don’t call me!”

“Well, I’m not the one who called you, Charlie did”, you said calmly.

 He shot you a dirty look and stepped on the gas pedal.

“Jesus Christ, man, slow down!”, you gasped.

“Oh, so you can walk into a vampire’s nest all by yourself, but my driving is too much for you?”

He did slow down though. You spent the next thirty minutes driving in silence and then he pulled over in front of a motel.

“Come on”, he said and opened your car door for you.

“We’re stopping here?”

“It’s a five-hour drive to the bunker and you’re still bleeding”.

“I’m not bleeding…”

“Just get out of the car!”

You let out an annoyed sigh, but you listened to him. Truthfully, you were feeling a little dizzy. He booked a room for the two of you and practically carried you inside. He placed you on the bed, took out the first-aid kit from his car and started patching you up in silence.

You could tell by the look on his face that he was still angry, but his hands were gentle and careful. You were trying to think of something to say, something that would make things better, but nothing came to mind. You just observed him. His jaw was clenched and his eyes gloomy, but there was something else in them. Like a trace of… fear? Maybe.

You weren’t unaccustomed to Dean being mad at you and it was so easy to forget why he was that way. He cared. He cared more than anyone you’ve ever met. As much as you bickered, you knew he loved you in a way, and that he was simply scared to lose you.

“Dean…”, you tried again, “I’m sorry”.

He didn’t answer. He didn’t even look at you. He just clenched his jaw harder. You took that as a sign he might actually let you speak now, so you kept going.

“I know I shouldn’t have left like that, and I know I screwed up. I thought I could help, you know? Charlie needed backup and you and Sam were busy… I just thought I shouldn’t let her go on a hunt by herself. I’m sure you wouldn’t have wanted that either. I was just trying to do the right thing… Like you would’ve!”.

His eyes finally met yours. He wasn’t that angry anymore, but he was annoyed at your words.

“You are not me!”, he finally said.

Ouch.

What’s that supposed to mean?

“Well, maybe so, but any backup is better than no back up!”, you defended yourself, “And if it weren’t for me, Charlie would’ve gotten a lot worse than a broken leg!”

At your surprise, he chuckled. Now you were the one who was starting to get angry.

“Don’t laugh at me!”, you said firmly, “You are looking at me like I’m some kind of idiot! Or an amateur! I know I may not have been raised a hunter like you and Sam, but I’ve been through a lot worse than what happened today! I fought by your side against Lucifer and Lilith and Eve and Dick friggin’ Roman! I’ve saved your ass personally multiple times! I’ve been dead! I’ve been to hell! I’m not some stupid civilian, Dean! After everything that happened, I’m… I’m a hunter! Weather you like it or not! Weather I like it or not! I might not be your calibre of a hunter but…”

“Woah, woah, slow down, hunter!”, he raised his hands defensively, “That’s not what I meant!”

You blinked in a surprise.

“Then what exactly did you mean?”, you asked, still frustrated at his tone.

He let out a silent groan.

“Listen, I know you are good at the job. I know you are tough and can handle yourself. Even though today was a bust”, he added in accusatory tone.

You opened your mouth to say something, but he quickly interrupted you.

“But when I say you are not me…”, he shook his head, searching for the right words. He closed his eyes for a second, trying to collect himself and finally spoke again, in a calmer tone.

“Listen, I screw up too! Hell, I’ve screwed up more times than I can count! And you’re right, you’ve saved my ass a lot! So have Sam and dad and Bobby… but if something happens to me, then that’s on me! That’s my own friggin’ fault! But it’s my job to protect you! And if something happens to you… I just couldn’t live with that!”

You listened to him in silence, trying to figure out what exactly he was saying to you. A part of you understood. The guilt, the responsibility he was feeling. You wanted to help him. To help him with that weight he was carrying. To tell him everything is ok and that you understand. But all that came out of your mouth was:

“It’s not your job to protect me, Dean”.

He flinched. Something twinkled in his green eyes and his voice turned cold again.

“I get it, I’m sure you would much rather have Sammy watching over you but I’m afraid I’m all you can get right now!”.

You raised your eyebrows in a surprise.

“What?”, it was all you were able to say.

“Listen, I know you two have something going on and the last thing I want is to get in the way of that, sweetheart”.  

You shook your head, and a small smile appeared on your lips before you could stop it.

Is that what this was? This entire tantrum? Was Dean Winchester… jealous?

“I honestly don’t know what you’re talking about”, you said sincerely.

“Sure”, he replied.

“Dean… Sam and I… we’re friends, that’s all! I mean I love him, he’s like a brother to me. Like a big, nerdy, dorky brother I’ve always wanted! And I’d do anything for him, just like you would. But… I could never be with him!”, you made a grimace and laughed.

“Yeah, okay”, he said.

“Why don’t you believe me?”, you laughed out loud this time. You just couldn’t stop it. This entire conversation was so bizarre.

“Because I’m not blind. He’s the one you always turn to when you need something, he’s the one you always call, text, talk to… hell, you left him a note today, didn’t you?”.

“Well, yes…”

“Like I said, I get it! I’m not trying to be a dick!”, he said, “It’s fine by me if you have a thing for each other, I’m glad even… you both deserve to be happy! All I’m saying is, it would be nice to get a heads up when you’re about to do something stupid, especially if I’m the one who’s gonna end up having to save you!”.

“Dean Winchester, I promise you I’m not trying to screw your brother!”, you yelled out,

“The reason I left him a note and not you is because I knew you were going to act like this! You would tell me to turn my ass around and come back home and if I didn’t you would come to get me, just like you did! And THEN you would yell at me just like you did! I’m not picking favourites, it’s just that Sam is easier to deal with sometimes, that’s all!”

“Oh, so I’m difficult to deal with, is that it?”

“Hell yes, you are!”

“So why do you keep dealing with me?”

“Oh, you’re such a damn idiot!”, you stood up from the bed in exasperation.

It was a mistake. The blood rushed to your brain, and you swerved on your feet. He jumped up and grabbed your shoulders with jungle cat-like reflexes. The look on his face went from irritated to worried in a matter of a second. It made you want to chuckle, but you held it in.

Goddamn, did you love this man.

“I’m fine, I’m fine”, you said quickly.

His eyes and voice both softened as he tried to get you back on the bed,

“Maybe you should get some rest. We can keep arguing in the morning”.

You rolled your eyes at him.

“Why do you want to keep arguing with me?”

“Trust me, sweetheart, that’s the last thing I want to do with you”.

Your heart stopped for a second. Your eyes widened and you looked at him in shock.

“Excuse you?”

He let out another sigh and tried to sit you down once again.

“Nothing, just go to sleep”.

“No, no, no, I don’t think so”, you said, shaking your head and turning around to face him, “What was that supposed to mean?”

“Nothing, I’m just saying crap. Don’t pay attention to it”.

But you wouldn’t let go. It’s been months since you first started noticing the change in Dean’s behaviour towards you. When you first met, he annoyed you so much and as far as you could tell, the feeling was mutual. You really were closer with Sam for a long time and the only reason you tolerated Dean was because he was his brother. And because well, he did save your life a couple of times. But then you died and came back and Dean, well… changed. You thought it was because of the guilt he felt over your death. Metatron did kill you because of your involvement with the Winchesters.

But it wasn’t just the guilt. You two started going on hunts together, he trusted you, he talked to you and looked at you like he’s never done before. You started suspecting he might have developed feelings for you that were more than just friendship, but there wasn’t an opportunity to bring it up. And you wanted to bring it up. You wanted to bring it up so badly.

“No!”, you protested and looked directly into his eyes, “What did you mean? What do you want to do with me?”, you asked, almost teasingly, but with a genuine desire to receive an answer.

He noticed the change in your tone and his eyes twinkled. His hands were still gently resting on your shoulders, making sure you don’t swerve again. He raised one of them and slowly brought his fingers up to caress your cheek. His touch was soft and warm, but it made a shiver go down your spine as if you were touched by lightning. You raised up your hand and gently placed it on his in affirmation. A small smile escaped both of your lips’.

You were still glaring into his eyes, waiting for him. Finally, his hand cupped your cheek and he brought his face to yours, slowly pressing his lips against yours.

The kiss was deep and gentle and warm, and it left you feeling breathless. You pulled him closer to you, running your fingers through his hair. He responded in the same way, sliding his hands down your waist and grabbing your thighs to lift you off the ground. You locked your legs around him as he carried you over to the table that was placed in the middle of the room.

He placed you on the table as his hands began exploring every inch of your body, his lips never leaving yours. Before you could even form a coherent thought, his hands were all up in your hair, over your chest, your thighs… In the moment they reached between your legs you let out a soft moan and arched your back, leaving your neck so beautifully exposed to him. He took advantage of that and moved his lips down to your collarbone, gently kissing and sucking on it. You pulled him even closer and moaned again. His scent was everywhere. He was everywhere. And it wasn’t enough.

You started to unbutton your plaid shirt but his fingers were quicker than yours.

You smiled at his impatience.

“It’s okay, the buttons won’t run away”, you said.

“I wish they would”, he muttered, making you laugh joyfully.

He smiled and kissed you again, unbuttoning your shirt completely and taking it off you in one fell swoop.

You tried to unbutton his now, but he was already out of it before you could even try.

“God”, you teased him, “You’re so impatient!”

“You have no idea”, he groaned, lifting you up again and crashing you both onto the bed.

He was placing hungry kisses all over your chest and stomach. His fingers then reached down to unbutton your jeans and you shivered in excitement as he slowly pulled them off you.

“Open your legs for me, sweetheart”, he said in a low tone, his eyes looking up to you as they were glistening with excitement and desire.

You bit your lip as you felt another shiver go down your spine.

“Open them”, he repeated.

You did what he asked, slowly spreading your legs as you felt the wetness and the pulsating sensation coming from between.

He gently moved the fabric of your underwear to a side, exposing you to him. His hungry eyes met yours once again as he gave you a soft kiss right between your thighs. You arched your back slightly and grabbed him by the hair, pulling him closer as he kissed and licked and sucked.

“These are getting in the way”, he said quietly and finally took off your panties.

You couldn’t help yourself and another moan left your lips, much louder this time. This encouraged him to go faster as you were becoming a moaning mess underneath his tongue. The pressure started building and building and building… and then he suddenly pulled away.

You widened your eyes in shock, desperate to pull him back down, but he pulled you up instead.

“I’m not done with you yet”, he said quietly as his breath tickled your ear.

You groaned in frustration.

“Now who’s impatient?”, he asked with a teasing smile.

“God, you’re so mean!”, you said.

“We’ll see about that”, he said as he reached down between your legs again and started rubbing your clit. He then slowly pushed one finger inside of you, stretching you out and earning another moan from you.

“Oh, God”, you whispered.

“You like that?”, he asked and added another finger.

You moaned again in response.

“Am I still mean?”

“Yes, you are!”, you responded.

He pushed you back on the bed while placing himself on top of you. He unbuckled his belt and unzipped his jeans. You reached out and gently cupped the growing bulge in his boxers making him groan quietly. You gasped in excitement. He was so hard.

He noticed your reaction and smiled.

“You see how hard I am for you?”

You bit your lip and nodded. Then you slowly pulled down his boxers and took him into your hands.

You’ve imagined him like this countless times, but you were still pleasantly surprised to see how big he was. You gripped him firmly and began to stroke his shaft as he groaned again.

You licked the tip and then put the rest of his length into your mouth, gently sucking on it. He moaned and tangled his fingers in your hair, pulling you closer.

You sucked harder causing him to cuss and moan again. You loved the sound of it. Your fingers found their way between your legs, and you began touching yourself as you sucked him off.

He seemed to like that even more and by the sounds he was making you could tell he was close.

“You’re going to need to slow down, sweetheart”, he said in a hoarse voice, “Or I’m going to cum without even being inside you first”.

You sucked on him a couple more times but then you let go. He pulled you up to kiss you, but you just pushed him down to the bed and climbed on top of him. His eyes widened in excitement as you guided his length to your entrance and slowly began to ride him.

You loved seeing him like this, messy and desperate for your touch. He gripped your thighs and moaned your name, his eyes staring deep into yours, begging you to fuck him harder.

You gave him what he wished for and began moving your hips faster and faster as you both cussed and groaned.

“Yes, yes”, he was whispering between the moans, “That’s it, ride me baby, please!”.

You were so close, and by the looks of it, so was he. You gripped each other closer as the pressure was building once again. You pulled his face close to your chest as he was about to come and finally, reached the so very anticipated release.

You held each other like that for a couple of minutes, trying to catch your breaths and then you finally laid back in the bed.

He pulled you close to him as you buried your face into his neck, just breathing in his scent. You were laying like that in silence for a little while, not really knowing what to say. Not really needing to say anything. Until he finally started chuckling like a little kid.

“What?”, you raised your eyes to him. “Well, do you wanna keep arguing now?”, he asked with a grin. You laughed too. “Oh, definitely! Just let me get some water first”.

[monstermoviedean]

regarding your post about 13x13 dean and cas’s interactions after they get cas back from asmodeus and what you said about cas changing the topic and apologizing for smth he’s inevitably gonna do again: i genuinely have no idea how people think dean sabotages their friendship/romance more than cas does?! cause like, yeah dean may have a hard time asking people to stay, but cas is the one often actively lying about his plans and ghosting dean 😭😭

like genuinely i’m so confused where it came from cause i was not in the fandom when the show was airing, so idk how people’s opinions developed. does this go back to the general “womanizer dean can’t have healthy relationships” idea that’s just such an overall misunderstanding of his character but has been here for so long?? is it because dean blames himself for everything in dialogue and people assume that’s the contextual truth? OR was there a specific season/episode that kinda cemented the idea in the wider fandom that dean is the bigger saboteur in their relationship specifically?? a combination???

i have theories but they're overlapping and i don't have full context since i'm still missing about two seasons. however. what i have generally seen:

this particular combination of assumptions (origin unknown): dean is repressed whereas cas is completely emotionally aware. dean does not know how he feels about cas and doesn't care to figure it out. cas is in love with dean, always has been, and has always known it. dean bad cas good. (this works with, as you mentioned, "womanizer dean can't have healthy relationships")

dean tends to be more outwardly emotional, including expressing upset with cas. because cas tends not to be as outwardly emotional, i think this becomes read as like...cas never getting a chance to stick up for himself? cas just taking it and never complaining? of the examples i can think of off the top of my head (dean giving cas the cold shoulder in 08x22, dean being upset with cas for running in 12x19), dean has legitimate reasons to feel hurt by cas' actions. the problem is sometimes that those actions are far removed from dean's reaction (...because cas literally hasn't been there to react to!) so it could feel like it's coming out of nowhere.

the widespread belief that dean makes cas feel unwelcome/uncared for. mostly predicated on dean "kicking cas out of the bunker with nothing" in 09x03. sigh. i understand why people get mad about this one, i really do. but even if i take my deangirl glasses off i think 'wow, dean was in a tough spot and made an awful choice that he thought would keep sam and cas both alive.' i see why he did it even though i don't like it, obviously. i simply do not believe there is any evidence to support 'dean kicked him out with nothing,' however.

a pattern many others have pointed out: dean tends to apologize more. the apologies stick out in people's minds, so it feels like dean has done more wrong because he's saying sorry more often. (this aligns well with what you said about dean blaming himself for everything)

this is just a suspicion because i haven't seen all of s15 and cannot be sure. however, the way i've seen people talk about "divorce arc" tends to suggest that the show places blame on this rupture on dean, and fans followed that blame. it also may be that this happened more recently so people remember it better than, say, cas breaking sam's wall in s6.

just a side note. i was here and active in the spn fandom 2011-2015, give or take. and while it is fully and entirely possible that this happened and i just don't remember it...i don't remember this kind of moral accounting, which one of them is the good one and which is the bad one, ledger of outstanding crimes which need to be addressed thing. i remember it being more balanced and a lot more "yay dean! yay cas! yay dean and cas together!" and less "who is ruining everything."

[mpregspn]

You seem like you’ve been in the spn fandom for a while so I was wondering why is Jared a controversial figure in spn fandom? Is he still very mixed opinions in fandom or is it just a vocal minority? I’m new to fandom so was not really there for any drama.

oh dear lord

i got here in 2012 stopped watching after 12x02 but i kept in touch. i feel like jared has never been a controversial figure until 2020 - the nov 5th fiasco and the finale made many people very very mad. suddenly there were 40k notes "in case you didn't know jared padalecki is a literal monster btw" thinkpieces going around. claiming that

dean and castiel didn't get to smooch bc the finale was a promo for walker and jared's homophobic (jared, who openly supports an lgbt charity and is open to fans' headcanons, and who's not actually a part of destiel. not jensen ackles, the dude who would actually have to smooch misha collins (and didn't he give his all in the confession scene. the love in his eyes. woah) and who's very clear about his dislike of destiel and bi!dean headcanons. no, jensen was heralded as their "heller king")

all but accusing him of abusing misha on set but not using the same lens to view misha's actions

/// there's a story they told at a con years ago about how misha lost a big amount of money to jared playing scrabble, felt indigantion bc jared hasn't even finished college, decided to give him the money in small change, and did it by filling jared's trailer when he wasn't there (his dogs were there though). jared then scooped all of it up and put it in misha's car, and later it turned out one of the pennies got stuck in a seatbelt, causing misha come trouble with his kid's car seat.

when they told it in like 2012 it was just a funny story about on set pranks. when i saw it going around in 2021 it was "j*red p*d*lecki thoughtlessly endangered the lives of misha's children"///

bringing up some twitter fights from a decade ago and last but not least *clutches my pearls* jared getting into a bar fight once.

this got long so i'll shut myself up but i'm open to further questions. hopefully that caught you up on the drama

[eightbitpale]

hi !! i’d love to hear about S7 rewrite boo tomato tomato 👀

Thanks for the ask!! That one’s actually a destiel fic, because I’m never truly going to escape my 16 year old self. Sorry if that’s not quite what you were imagining 😅

Hence the name, it’s a rewrite of season 7 of spn. S7 tends to get (rightfully) dunked on pretty often, but it’s always been one of my favourites despite its flaws. It has potential!

This WIP is plan for a massive episodic fic (think 100k+) that tries to fix some of the bigger structural issues with the season (eg. Cas’s deeply uncomfortable “crazy” arc, Meg’s narrative underutilisation, the shoddy resolution of Sam’s hell trauma etc, fucking EMMA)

Anyway, here’s an excerpt from some of the scenes I’ve drafted. Tw for mentions of “i dont deserve to be alive” type thinking.

Something in Dean’s chest was burning like a road flare. He tried to keep his voice from shaking when he spoke.  “Y’know man, when I first found out you were still alive I was so fucking mad. Because I mourned you.” Cas’ gaze snapped up to his. “I let myself mourn you because you were dead, and you were never coming back to apologise or make it better or tell me how you wished you’d listened. ‘Cause when people are dead — and you’re people, man, just fucking accept it — it's always easier to forgive them.  “But then hallelujah you’re alive, and all that anger I didn’t feel 'cause it didn’t have a point to it? I felt it all. And I thought it'd rip me open." Cas' breath hitched, and Dean’s chest tightened at the sound like it was the cocking of a pistol. "You always seem to do that, Cas. You're always ripping me open.” "I'm sorry. It's never my intention." "That doesn't make it better." "I know that." "Ok, but do you know? Do you get why I was so damn mad?" Cas shook his head slightly, understanding, at least, that this was rhetorical. "I kept thinking: that bastard got off easy. Everything you did, and you were living it up as some kind of a god-powered guru, with a sweet lady keeping’ you happy on the side." "Daphne and I didn’t have that kind of relationship, Dean. It was predominantly about health insurance." "I don't give a shit, Cas! I was mad because I'd already forgiven you, and you hadn't done anything to earn it! So I'm not gonna just take you out like you’re another monster, I'm actually gonna do something way worse. I'm gonna make you earn it.” Cas’s face clouded and he opened his mouth to object, but Dean silencing him with an angry wave of the hand. “Just listen to me! You wanna tell me what you've done, how you've killed people? I'm well aware! And I'm so fucked up that while you were dead, I didn’t actually care. But you’re not dead now, and I swear to God you are gonna make amends if it’s the last thing you do. You don’t just get to peace out again." Dean stepped into the angel’s space, pushing a finger into his chest. "So face the goddamn music." Cas’ eyes remained glued to his feet, and he pushed harder. "Face me, asshole!"  Cas finally relented, and Dean held him there, a thrumming current of something like fury—like grief—like grace—crackled through his body, down his arm and into the angel’s chest until Dean thought the two of them were liable to start smoking like an overloaded transistor. The night breeze picked up, rustling down the hillside where they stood, two silhouettes cut against the sky. Still, they stared at each other, locked in place.  Through that one warm point of connection, hand over heart, Dean willed Cas to understand what he didn’t deserve to hear: I missed you when you were lost, you bastard. Win me back, so you can finally come home.  And even though it had been years since Cas was rude enough to peer into his head without permission, Dean could swear that he heard that thought aloud. Cas slumped down on himself like a string had been severed, the brittle cut of his face smoothing into something softer as he nodded. It was almost dangerously soft, Dean noticed, and he became belatedly aware of the hand he still held to Cas' chest. Hurriedly, he stepped backwards and shoved his hands deep into his jacket pockets.  "Just try, ok? Sam's still on the ropes, freaking Dick Roman is still out there, and I need you on my team. You’ve made mistakes, but I'm not gonna fucking hunt you. Frankly, I don’t have the time." He laughed a little bitterly. "Besides. I don't really want to. So just come back to the motel with us, alright? Come on." He must have said something right, because Cas was looking at him strangely. "Alright,” he said. Dean heaved a sigh of relief, tension unwinding from his shoulders like the uncocking of a rifle. "Alright."

[self-loathing-angel-of-thursday2]

Beautiful Spouse’s Rewatch Thoughts SPN 08x01 We Need to Talk about Kevin

Beautiful Spouse’s Rewatch Thoughts SPN 08x01 We Need to Talk about Kevin

“Do we really need to talk about Kevin?

🎶secret Kevin man🎶

“Asian Kevin” “that’s some x-files shit right there” “He has a girl in his tent. What’s up with that?” “what the fuck” “blood splatter everywhere still has good hair” “Does this go on the bullet list of how to be a good man? Always have good hair?” “and be well moisturized” “what the fuck is happening?” “what.the.fuck is going on here” “Yeah because that’ll heal easy” “Why is he dumping the blood all over the pelvis?” “Ok. Mr. Texas” “Kermit the 𓆏” “that’s sam Winchester” “who the fuck is that?” “I’m confused. Is she a demon?”

The demon storyline is over “PeePee, I’m not very good at this” “Winterfish? Whittling fish? You can whittle a fish on a stick or you can fish whittle sticks” “what the fuck” and laughter

Laughter

“What the fuck” “the ritual is baked in at this point” “oh shit. How long was he down there?” 🎶it’s a dick in a box🎶exploding dick in a box🎶

Laughter “that’s not funny” “Who is Sam talking about?” “You don’t know who Sasha Grey is?” “So they both just made a joke about a porn star? That’s why I laughed” “Little extra grizzled from purgatory?” i like the purgatory plot line

“Last season was ok, I guess. The ending felt anticlimactic” “Wow. He really sent this guy out for a piss” “6 months, eh?” “phone lines aren’t free. Did he pay for a phone he didn’t use for 6 months? Or did he just steal the phones?” “oh yeah just zoom and enhance” I don’t think there is a college in Centerville, MI

“Wasn’t she headed to like Yale or something?” “yeah fuck dogs” “hot take”

“I can relate” “I don’t trust most people’s dogs, though. Maybe I hate the owners more. Maybe it’s not the dogs’ faults” “colonial man” “that was very rubbery” “That’s not good” “Jesus fkn Christ” 🎶scowling at the world🎶

“He’s always thinking” “I can relate. It’s impossible to shut your brain off” “I feel like Sam should be more surprised to see Dean back. This is #2 back, right? He’s just mad now. Aw fuck, my brother died twice so I’m angry” “Just one of the many things I don’t like about sam” “Is this a bros before hoes moment?” “that whole room matches minus the carpet. The carpet does not match the drapes” “Be fair I haven’t seen any drapes yet” “What did Don ever do to Dean’s joints?” “lacing the drugs?” “I feel like he’s been there a year and hasn’t had one of these conversations already? And this guy is saying you can’t trust anyone?” “So Adderall puts you on a mission from god? IS that what I just heard?” “that’s a weird thing to say” “what the fuck” “looks like a ferrofluid” “which one are you staring at bud?” “the fuck?” Sam hit a dog and met a girl while Dean was making friends with vampires and fighting in purgatory

“I feel the same way” “That’s the face I’m going to give you next time I have a burger” “Didn’t he spin around the laptop already?” “oh he turned it back” “that doesn’t look like that good of a burger. Like a college campus burger” He hasn’t eaten much in the last year 

“That’s true” “Why wouldn’t he be at a church? He’s a prophet of the lord” “He could have been dead for 6 months already” “It’s been 6 months since your last confession” laughter

“Is Kevin Tran a dark version of Ash Ketchum? Crowley’s the old man you see in every room, because the old man tells you what skill to remember, and you remember the skill” “It can’t be what - a couple paragraphs” “some shithole in Wisconsin” I mean there’s a lot of open space in Wisconsin. Farm land and stuff” “fkn goat” “because he’s the greatest demon of all time” “Man this show could have really gone a different direction” “Yup” 🎶fuck you sam🎶

“His hair is extra fucked this season, too” “This is the weirdest shit ever. All the candles are lit. We’re in some old ass church” “What the fuck did I just miss?” It was a bad joke

“Is that why I don’t understand it?” “This is not the lesson you want to teach kids” “Yup” “Could have just said that with your eyes” Did you get the blowjob joke? “No, I didn’t get it” “Sounds like locker room talk to me” “oh shit. Speaking of locker room talk” “they don’t have any leverage, to be fair” laughter

“That was rather emasculating” “Why find another one?” “oh. Well shit. Fuck you Crowley” “The head doesn’t like being hit” It’s a Marine phrase

“I guess John was a marine” What did you have to do down there, Dean? “Did this guy play another character in the show?” Yes, he was actually a vampire in an early season

[nequittezpaswrites]

Per request from @the-never-ending-one :

3. What’s a fic idea that you have but haven’t written yet?

I have a Lord of the Rings fic that I putter around with occasionally, a classic of the 'girl gets dropped into Middle Earth' genre. I’m not sure I’ll ever publish it, though, because there are a number of excellent fics like this that are already out there, and I mostly write what I want to read. Also, the plot of LOTR is much harder to change without totally mucking things up.

I have part of a sequel outlined for my Supernatural OC/Rowena oneshot, but I’ll probably never write that one because it would by necessity take place in the later seasons of SPN that I just didn’t enjoy as much. I likewise have an OC/Black Widow outline that isn’t likely to come to fruition because I’m thoroughly burnt out on the MCU.

The one I’m most likely to actually write is another Pirates of the Caribbean fic—this would be an isekai, with a modern person getting dumped into the world of POTC. The complicating factor that would drive that plot is that the main character, much like myself, will slowly die of organ failure without modern medicine. And so she must involve herself in supernatural pirate shenanigans in order to survive.

9. What’s your favorite line(s) or scene(s) that you have written?

I really like characters meeting each other for the first time, or showing their true colors. The Moriarty/Kate conversation over a cigarette in Madness, Sam summoning Cass in Complex, Barbossa and Mary’s talk aboard the Pearl in Vexation, and Aro and Diana’s first conversation in his office in Inter Vivos.

My favorite individual line of dialogue is still Dean Winchester saying, “I’m allowed to be a hypocrite, I’m the oldest.”

15. Are there words, phrases, mannerisms or scenes you tend to use a lot?

Em dashes. “For a moment.” Blinking in surprise. Music sneaks into a lot of fics, with characters either performing it or discussing it. And original characters going around applying logic to canon is in basically all of my fics.

17. Are there any writers and/or stories that you consider an influence?

LuckyStarChild’s Yu Yu Hakusho fic Lucky Child is what got me back into writing fanfic, and OC fanfic in particular. It’s the most well-done isekai-style fic I’ve ever read, putting a really fresh spin on the concept and playing with canon in really interesting ways, while simultaneously being grounded by a deep understanding of the characters.

My long-untouched fic “Nana” was directly inspired by it, and none of my other OC fics would have been written if I hadn’t stumbled across it. I haven’t followed it for a while, though, because I took a break from Yu Yu Hakusho, and there’s just so much of it now. I tend not to read fics that exceed 500k words, and Lucky Child blew past that… quite some time ago. I may pick it up again if I’m ever in need of something comforting and very, very long.

(Yet Another) Fanfic Writer Ask Game!

What is your most popular fic?

What fanfic do you wish you got more response on?

What’s a fic idea that you have but haven’t written yet?

Do you prefer writing multi-chapter or oneshot fanfictions?

What rating do most of your fics fall under?

Have you written any fanfictions featuring OCs? If so, elaborate!

What’s a troupe you love to write?

What kind of document do you use to you write? Microsoft Word? Google Docs? Straight in the AO3 text box?

What’s your favorite line(s) or scene(s) that you have written?

What are your top five fics by kudos or by reads

How many words do you have on AO3 (if you use that platform)

Do you respond to comments, why or why not?

Have you ever received hate on a fic?

Have you ever co-written a fic?

Are there words, phrases, mannerisms or scenes you tend to use a lot?

How long is your longest fic?

Are there any writers and/of stories that you consider an influence?

Recommend someone else fic! (And tag them if they have a tumblr!)

For the readers: send in your favorite fanfic, scene, title, phrase, etc. by the person who reblogged this!

[thepagemistress]

SPN Rewatch - 1x11 Scarecrow

Love this one. We get to meet our first recurring antagonist! And our first moment of pie lore! Lots of good stuff to be had in this episode.

First scene, banger. It plays out exactly as we’ve been led to expect. Sam is not here to take orders from John, he wants answers, he wants to be brought into the loop, but John wants them to keep their distance. Which, frankly, is bullshit. You drag your kids into this life but then try and “protect” them from the thing that set everything in motion? He drives me mad. And, of course, Dean can see it unravelling before him, see the risk of Sam or John hanging up on the other and has to intervene (again) before they come to verbal blows. Following orders, right into soldier mode, no questions asked. It’s the last straw for Sam.

I want to sympathise with Sam in this instance because what John is asking of them is bullshit but as soon as he basically threw it in Dean’s face that just because he was only 4 when Mary died, he doesn’t have the same desire for revenge as Sam? That was a heck of a low blow. It’s just another example of Sam not understanding anything of what Dean has gone through, largely because Dean protected Sam from it. They both had shitty childhoods but Sam never had responsibility over anyone. Dean has been mourning his whole life. Sam’s grief is fresher, yes, but Dean’s is deeper. Plus, he just got abandoned by his dad a few years after he got abandoned by his brother. And resolving this demon case could potentially fix all of that so of course he wants to be done with it but he also feels a responsibility to those he can save and can’t just turn a blind eye to meet his own needs and desires. But Sam has rarely had to sacrifice anything because Dean has made sure he’s taken care of.

I am glad that Dean does call him out for being selfish because he is. But Sam doesn’t see it and he doesn’t believe it because he’s never known just how much other people have done for him.

And then we get introduced to Meg Masters. I love her because there’s just something off about her from the beginning but she’s charming enough that you just kind of buy into it anyway and I remember watching it the first time when the reveal happened at the end and still being like ohhhhh fuuuuuuck. Because now we have fucking stakes and they are high. (I also love that even though we only see her with Sam, there’s a nice parallel with Dean as she’s clearly taking orders from her ‘father’, despite having a difference of opinion on the matter.)

It’s an interesting insight that even when they’re fighting, they’ll still keep in touch with each other. Dean still called Sam to let him know what was happening and Sam still answered. Which, honestly, I feel is progress. Earlier in the season, I’m not sure Sam would have. And then Dean opening up about how sometimes he wishes he could afford to stand up to John and do his own thing but there’s just too much baggage there for him to break out of the mould he’s been cast into. Also, in order to ‘stand up’ to someone, you have to disagree with them which implies that Dean doesn’t always think John’s right, even if it comes across that way. The fact that he can’t even finish this admission says so much. The guilt of disobedience weighs so heavily on him. The guilt of disappointing John. Bleugh.

As far as the MOTW goes, I enjoyed it. Scarecrow stuff always gives me Goosebumps flashbacks. There’s something very 90s about it. Also their first god kill, impressive.

Favourite part: The phone call conversation between Sam and Dean where, even in the midst of a fight, they can still talk to each other. And hey look, Dean being open about his feelings. Again.

Least favourite part: Only because I hate awkward conversations but the scene with Dean trying to convince the unsuspecting couple to leave. Oh, it pains me.

Quote of the episode: “Hope your apple pie is frickin’ worth it!”

What’s compelling me to keep watching: We have our first big bad! We’re getting into the thick of it now. We know that John is on the trail but now we also know that the evil Is on Sam’s trail too.

Random things I yelled to myself during the rewatch: “dick move to keep Dean out of the loop on that call” “Meg my beloved” “pie lover Dean has entered the lore” “aww man wish she’d said the greater good instead” “she said the thing!” “’there’s nobody else but you’ my ass, if it was a true sacrifice you’d offer up yourself”

Rating: 8/10 – things are ramping up now, there’s danger at every turn and even though John is trying to keep them out of it, it’s already unknowingly on their doorstep.

And the award goes to…🏆: Meg for the mic drop moment at the end of episode. No notes, stellar bait and switch.

[demolitiondrz]

obligatory intro post

hi, welcome to my personal shifting wonderland. my name’s jesse, or evan, whatever you prefer. he/him only please

i’ve been a shifter since the dark years (2020..), but only really started to connect with the community this year. pleeease be my friend if you have similar drs as me or are a system shifter or both

some drs of mine (cuz yall aren’t mind readers):

— band dr

— multiple kpop drs (mainly seventeen)

— alice: madness returns dr

— spn dr (that’s a given for being on tumblr)

more abt me below

outside of shifting i’m kinda lame actually. my biggest interests right now are alice: madness returns and creepypastas, though there’s a lot more. talk to me about kpop— though i haven’t kept up with it in ages— anything alternative music related, anything chemistry!! (yes the school subject), or minecraft

other things important to note:

— i’m autistic 100% and i hate using punctuation and emojis actually

— also a system.. ask abt it idrc

— trans man and a minor please be chill

tag system (still updating this):

🌀 | i know what’s real! — my posts

🐈‍⬛ | only a few find the way — shifting reblogs

🔪 | every picture tells a story — pictures/silly reblogs

🪄 | who set that bloody train in motion? — system related

🃏| there is no method in this madness — misc interest related

[sarah-dipitous]

Hellsite Nostalgia Tour 2023 Day 292

Breakdown/The Doctor Falls

“Breakdown”

Plot Description: when Donna’s niece is attacked and kidnapped, Sam and Dean help track her down, and in the process discover a very sinister operation

Would I Survive the First Five Minutes??: right off the bat, it doesn’t look promising. You could not get me to stop at that rest stop. Nah, I’ve got AAA, I’m not getting out of the car, I’m ok

(Megumi is trying to attack my phone screen or locking my glasses at every turn so this could take a while)

Poor Donna. First everything that happened last episode, now this

Oh. When that guy said family reunion, he meant when the remaining women of spn rescued the boys

I get what Sam is saying, but Dean’s right. They can’t leave even if it means potentially attracting the attention of the real fbi again

Dean’s such a good big brother though trying to cheer up and reassure Sammy

This dude is so freaking creepy, Megumi’s scared of him too

Donna’s good at being a cop (derogatory). It’s so disappointing how many characters are cops

I don’t necessarily believe this pastor they brought in but the cashier who told Donna’s niece to smile more is too obvious. I also don’t think it was the long haired guy…maybe.

This is too regular horror for me.

Oh the cashier IS involved. He calls the sicko auctioning off human body parts to monsters as food when he finds someone he thinks no one will miss. I hate him. I hated him before, but this is a new level

I’m so mad Charlie’s dead at a time like this. She’d be able to crack where this dude broadcasts from

(What if it’s Ketch? I don’t think it is, but I could see him using people………………….WHAT IF IT IS THE FBI AGENT?!?! It’s not because he’s with Sam but how sick would that be?)

THE CASHIER IS A VAMPIRE???

WAIT!! The FBI agent IS in on it?

I can’t believe I was right about the FBI agent, but who is the guy in the mask?

(Oh. Right, they’re trying to auction off Sam now. I dunno what part of him went for $5k but that’s not bad)

Goddamn $500k for Sam’s heart

Ah yes, the good old pan away from the gun that’s supposed to be shot only to reveal that the monster got shot by one of the boys (obviously Dean in this case)

Poor Doug is so freaked out about having been a vampire got a couple hours, are he and Donna about to break up? ☹️

Oh, Sammy. The boys really do just trade off who’s lost all hope

“The Doctor Falls”

Plot Description: The Doctor makes a final stand against an army of cybermen

These cybermen scarecrows are reminding me that we never found out who was under the mask in spn…guess it didn’t matter

I knew Missy wanting to be good was too good to be true……but she did seem surprised when Simm!Master came back. She’s probably seizing the opportunity. It’s easy to fall back into old habits

Oh. Shit. That’s either really smart or really stupid, expanding the definition of humanity to include brings with two hearts

She’s such an opportunist. I love her

Bill’s heart is still in there 😭😭😭

Excuse me?? Bill’s just…back now?? Not mad about it. Just…I can’t tell if she looks like herself or if they’re hiding that she still has the facade of a cyberman (ok. It was the latter. I figured as much)

Tell her the truth Doctor (I hate that both Bill and Danny got turned into cybermen)

I’m so mad that this is how it’s going. Bill deserves so much better than this. I’m pretty disengaged despite regeneration coming and Simm!Master being here

Is it time for Missy and the Master to be heroic? And go get his TARDIS? So maybe they can also get the Doctor’s?

The tension between the two Masters is funny because they’re constantly trying to answer the “would you fuck your clone?” post

Twelve’s speeches are always so good, and him pleading with the Masters to just do the right thing this time is so heart wrenching

The fact that Simm!Master completely ignored everything the Doctor just said is even more heartbreaking for Twelve (but that’s just who that character is)…but now it falls to Missy

“Stand with me. It’s all I’ve ever wanted” “Me too, but no. Sorry.” 😭😭😭 they want me to cry myself to sleep tonight do they??

Noooooooo. The Doctor charging Nardole with the safety of everyone on this ship and their evacuation from this floor while he stays (and Bill stays) to blow the whole floor up

I know Missy just betrayed the Master but I cannot tell what she actually did. She poison him?? So he’d regenerate into her converging the timeline so she could go help the Doctor

NO!! He shot her in the back, and in some weird way that should prevent her from regenerating (but we all know she will)

Twelve will never know she was going to come back 😭

It’s starting!! He’s regenerating!!

Good lord, how did he survive that blast? The short answer is he didn’t, but that should have instantly killed him

EXCUSE ME?! The girl from the puddle……..oh. No. I’m so confused. Bill’s no longer in the cyberman armor and the girl from her first episode is back but how is Bill not dead, IS she dead? It appears to be some kind of almost limbo state that’s just this side of actual living, but they do get to be together so I guess that’s nice.

Has there been a lot of melodrama this episode? Yes, but I’m really curious if Moffat can stick the landing

Twelve’s hair is so floofy I love it…oh, he stopped his regeneration. He has spent a LONG long time being Twelve. He spent two BILLION years in that prison in his confession disc thingy. I know he’ll say he’s only like 2000 years old or whatever but you can’t discount all that

Baby, it’s time. It’s regeneration time. Or not. Looks like we’ll get that next time. That said, Walter Frey as the Doctor is definitely something that requires getting used to. He definitely looks the part but all I can think is that he orchestrated the red wedding

[lady-of-the-spirit]

I’m so glade that your happy about finding another person who hates Dean Winchester! Cuz I’m happy too since it’s amazing!

Exactly like despite even knowing Sam’s history with everything it’s still so fucked. I think him knowing about the history though adds a whole new level of fucked up to the situation. And then like you said the whole him being like ‘I’d do it again’ is extremely fucked and annoying. Especially when the narrative agrees with him and it’s incredibly annoying. Because Dean does interpret that way of ‘oh you don’t love me’ and the narrative takes his side. They seriously had a whole ep of Sam setting boundaries and then by the end of the ep Sam gets guilt tripped. And there’s so many levels of fucked up about the events that happen after cuz it adds to the whole guilt tripping.

Exactly like Sam put everything into raising jack and into treating him with kindness. And just be there for the guy but somehow he gets put in the ‘uncle’ category meanwhile the dude who tried to kill/shoot jack multiple times gets the ‘father’ card. I love that tag of yours so much cuz I also only trust Sam with a child. I just hate how Dean gets the whole ‘loving father’ thing by the fandom meanwhile he treats kids/teenagers like shit. Even taking out the whole jack thing and what he does to jack: he still treats children like shit in the whole show. Like maybe he has his moments here and there but overall he still treats them so awfully. Meanwhile sam is over there constantly sympathizing with children/teenagers and actually helping them out. And taking their feelings into consideration.

Yeah no I totally get it about watching the shows. Ngl I literally probs was on my phone when watching spn too just because sometimes I wouldn’t be able to actually pay attention to the show.

(sorry for taking forever to reply to these ^^;)

It's definitely not the majority opinion so stumbling across others is very nice :)

Frankly I think that if the narrative didn't take Dean's side so much I wouldn't dislike him as much as I do. But he has to be right all the time and it's so grating. Like no! Sam is right to be mad! Let Dean realize he truly fucked up and let Sam be mad! Sam gets guilt tripped for a lot of things, I think, and he doesn't deserve to be guilt tripped for setting boundaries after Dean fucked him over.

He still treats kids like shit! Exactly! I will admit only really watching the one episode earlier on where Dean interacts with the quiet (mute?) kid who draws all the time and he ends up saving the kid from the ghost trying to drown him, and I thought that was cute. And Maybe with that one baby from the other episode. But I mean, threatening Jacob after killing his mom? The whole "three of the cheerleaders are legal" thing? Everything with Jack? No, nope. Can't do it.

[mother-fucking-maggie]

Anyway, stan Hannibal if only for the utter lack of queer baiting

[mad-as-a-box-of-frogs]

If Mary is killed by Jack next episode because she’s sad about John or whatever (despite all indications early in the season that she was moving forward with her life), I’ve got a full-blown rant in me about how she then needs to be the reverse Lily Sunder, and instead of dying to be with her kids she has to be able to make the choice to live for her kids (a possible solution given Chuck’s return (Rob was at the s14 wrap party) and Sam’s cryptic hashtag #neversaydie on Instagram). I know this is the Winchesters and Cas’s story, and all other characters are expendable when they’re no longer needed, but Mary deserves to have a story too, one where she moves past her grief and looks forward into the future, as, again, she had shown signs of already doing in 14x01 and 14x05. Otherwise,what was the point of brining her back for more than one season, Dabb, other than to prove you could? In this essay I will-

[willowdean]

destiel really has its own category pls😭😭

Destiel. Is. Canon.

These are words we never thought we’d be typing in a Year in Review, but, as par for the course, 2020 had other plans. November 5th, 2020, was one of the best days on the internet in recent memory. A night akin to February 26th, 2015, except our runaway llamas were Nevada and Georgia counting votes, and our Dress was a love confession from an angel named Castiel. Only this time, there was a sprinkle of Russian politics, too. #Superwholock, who? This is #Superputinelection.

The Road So Far

In case you are somehow unfamiliar with The CW show Supernatural, it follows brothers Sam and Dean Winchester as they continue the family business—saving people, hunting things, no big deal. In 2008, as the show entered its fourth season, Dean (Jensen Ackles) was gripped tight and raised from perdition by none other than an angel in a trenchcoat and a loose tie, Castiel (Misha Collins). From the first stab, fans felt the immediate chemistry between Dean and Cas, and so Destiel was born. 

Supernatural writers became aware of the ship over time. For a show that gets as meta as SPN does, they were bound to write Destiel in somehow. In their 200th episode, titled “Fan Fiction,” the Winchesters are faced with a high school play based on the in-world Supernatural book series. The students playing Dean and Cas are an IRL couple, and Dean Winchester is introduced to the concept of Destiel for the first time.

Enter: Despair

Approaching the endgame, the episode “Despair” aired on November 5th and saw Castiel give an impassioned speech to Dean about how much he cares about him—actually saying I love you—before being killed immediately after (shoutout to @lithiumionbatteries​ for predicting this in July!). This confession of love was not something anyone in any fandom was expecting. In the week following the episode’s air date (11/5 - 11/11), Tumblr saw huge spikes in #destiel original posts (up by 2,083%) and reblogs (up 11,042%) with an overall 5,065% increase in all engagements around the ship’s tag.

While Supernatural fans were dealing with the fallout of another bury your gays moment, many people on Tumblr were on their third day of waiting for results from the US Presidential Election. The conversation expanded, weaving in jokes about Nevada’s ballot-counting speed and Georgia turning blue, which many found out about via Destiel shitposts. Things continued to snowball into discussions around how people were learning anime news, like Dabi from BNHA’s real name, and provided the perfect backdrop for the rumors that snuck into the meme cycle: Putin stepping down, a new season of Ouran High School Host Club, or a new Sherlock season. And this was just twenty-four hours. 

Let’s take a moment to go back to a time before the finale and the Spanish-language dub. Our team has curated all the best posts from this incredible day on the internet. Pour one out for Castiel as you scroll through.

[castielmacleod]

Desti3l critic:

One of the things I dislike most about the way fans treat this ship is that... it is always about Dean. The way Dean is focused on and portrayed rather than it being about Cas himself. It is usually about how Castiel gives something to Dean and Dean gets the focused POV, Castiel is just... there to be an emotional support. And honestly the way it tracks with the show's portrayal of things and the way the protagonist centered POV plays out and the way the show itself does the same thing with Castiel's character.... is just simply sad.

NO FOR REAL THOUGH.. even when I was more tolerant of fanon D*stiel this ALWAYS bothered the shite out of me.

Because for 99% of these people D*stiel literally IS about Dean, ultimately, and always has been. The whole narrative that they find so compelling is about the ~faithless man~ saved from damnation by a literal angel. It’s about Dean getting to have this literal angel look at him and all his flaws and save him and love him anyway because that’s what Dean needs. Like it literally is about Dean fans wanting someone to come and therapise Dean at any cost and fix him with his (fetishised) gay love and it’s infuriating. Even when they do try to talk from Cas’ pov it’s still Dean centric, because they say Dean specifically is the only reason Cas rebelled and that Cas could only find contentment in life if Dean loved him back, or it’s discussion of Cas doing xyz sacrificial thing for Dean and never any of Cas’ other actions that are unrelated to Dean. No matter which angle they come from it always seems to be about what Cas does for Dean. I’m sure (sarcastic) that has nothing to do with the fact that Dean does absolutely nothing for Cas, ever 🥴

Like above all D*stiel has to be about Dean because if it was actually about Cas then it would have to be about how Dean is categorically Cas’ abuser who literally created or otherwise exacerbated so many of Cas’ severe psychological issues, and heIIers don’t want to confront or even acknowledge that because that contradicts the “secret good” spn that they hallucinate over the actual episodes (that they then get mad at other people for not seeing 😭)

[restlesshush]

do you have like. a fic that deals with the soulless jack arc the way u want

Hiii anon this ask absolutely made my day. Very excited to answer this.

Okay so, I don’t have a fic of this but I do have the secret better soulless Jack arc that exists in my head. This originated from me brainstorming it in DMs to @autisticandroids (so there is stuff in here that is from them) around the time I watched the canon version for the first time a couple of months ago. It diverges fairly significantly for 14x16-14x18 and then sticks more closely to canon for 14x19-14x20, but like, the things I've changed mean that those episodes are put in a different light by the time we get to them, and so the main point of this soulless Jack arc is “okay, what actually is the best way to deal with this?” and the answer is compassion!!

(About 2k under the cut)

Obviously, Mary doesn’t die in this au, because it undercuts stuff to the extent that I don’t think it can have been the original plan. That doesn't mean, though, that I'm reverting to the improved soulless Jack arc I think s14 was building to before it got derailed by Mary's death, because that focusses a lot on Dean and Dean & Jack parallels, which isn't really the most interesting to me. This is a very Cas & Jack centric soulless Jack arc, as it should be.

So, the major structural diverging for me starts in 14x16 – in this version, instead of Cas being off screen, him trying to find a way to fix Jack’s soul is the focus of the episode. He gets to have two episodes getting increasingly desperate and probably physically threatening people (because I will forever be mad about the fact that in the entire show he punches 1 (one) car for Jack and that’s it). The idea of this – in addition the fact that Cas’s pov here is the most compelling objectively – is to help to maintain the sense of foreboding re soulless Jack, but also crucially to keep it in the right context of this being specifically something devastating for Jack and people who care about him. The idea of him as a potential ‘threat’ isn’t the point.

Then, I’m a little torn because I do think the s14 Nick stuff is the stupidest writing decision spn ever made, but I do also think Jack killing someone intentionally (as opposed to the stuff with Mary) is an escalation point that makes sense, because like, the issue with soullessness is that his moral reasoning’s off, but with a trustworthy guide he would still be fine! So I think while the emotional core of 14x17 is Cas still trying in vain to find a solution to Jack’s soul, this is the background to salmondean having taken Jack on some kind of motw case, explicitly as a test-drive for him, effectively. So the question the episode is asking – while it becomes increasingly clear that Cas’s mission going to be fruitless – is “is Jack’s soullessness going to be a problem?”, and then when he (well-meaningly!) brutally kills some malevolent civilian and flies off in a panic, we get the answer “apparently yes”.

Okay so NOW we get to my alternate 14x18 which is my favourite bit. In the canon soulless Jack arc, obviously we get Hallucifer 2.0, which I find pretty insulting tbh – I think it smacks of the writers being like “oops! We don’t know how to convey Jack interiority properly so we’re going to make him hallucinate someone to talk to instead!” (From the point of view that Nick’s death was probably meant to be the escalating event rather than Mary’s, this would make slightly more sense as a fossil of that, but it’s still annoying.) SO my solution to this is to convey Jack interiority by co-opting a bunch of other characters to voice his worst fears to him, in a way which escalates the situation, but like, in a way that makes it clear that the situation is being escalated because it’s being handled poorly. We’ve turned this into a Jack character study episode and all of the other characters are tools to serve this goal <3

Firstly, we ideally have a morally dubious ally. Annoyingly, I think Rowena's already too good by this point, and while an Uncle Crowley would be perfect, he has been killed off leaving his slot vacant. Anyway, we have [whoever. A not-dead Aunt Meg would also be great] make a spike btvs “I’m not good but I’m okay” style argument – “it’s fine that you don’t have a soul, you’re just like me and I’m fine”, which is kindly meant but still upsetting to (an already pretty distressed) Jack.

Then we get apocalypse world Bobby, with some other hunters in tow (including non-fridged Mary trying to talk him down), and (in line with the vibe from him at the beginning of 14x19, which was just never followed through on) he’s like “you are just a monster now, and we’re therefore going to kill you”. Which is clearly completely the wrong approach and just escalates things further as it reinforces Jack’s fears about himself and makes him more upset. Jack sends out some sort of shockwave in his panic to get away, and injures a couple of the apocalypse world hunters as well, but not intentionally. By this point he’s so upset that he’s leaving a bit of a trail of destruction in general, and that obviously increases people’s belief that he’s dangerous but like – he’s just distressed! They just need to be kind to him and tell him it’s okay and that they’ll help him!

And then we get to salmondean driving to intercept Jack. Cas is racing back from where he was of trying to fix Jack's soul, but they’re still a lot closer than Cas is, so Cas is begging Dean on the phone like “please please wait till I get there to talk to him. Please.” But Dean’s like “no, we need to sort this out right now” and so he and Sam barrel into the situation without Cas. They try to holy fire ring Jack to contain him while they try to talk him down, which obviously just makes Jack even more upset. (Sam is uncomfortable with this and tries to talk Dean out of it / tries to use waiting for Cas as an excuse, but he does ultimately fall in line.) And then when they’ve got Jack in the holy fire, Dean is taking what he genuinely thinks is a tough love approach of “well you’re not a monster, if you can get this under control” (voicing Jack’s fears to him. We’ve co-opted the avatar of the narrative to serve the end of expressing Jack interiority <3), and Jack’s like “otherwise you’ll kill me?” and Dean’s like “yeah. If I have to”. It eventually escalates to the point that Jack feels so overwhelmed that he is about to give up and just walk through the holy fire, not knowing whether it’s going to hurt him, but just before he does Sam caves and breaks the circle, so we don’t actually know what would have happened, just that he was prepared to do it. Salmondean don’t quite realise what was about to happen, but the audience do.

So we finish 14x18 with Jack still at large, and still upset and therefore out of control, and the crucial takeaway is that all of these attempts to talk him down failed because everyone was making the same misapprehensions about how to help Jack, making Jack’s non-monster status conditional, just feeding into his fear that he can’t avoid being a monster, and the destructive distress it’s resulting its, whereas Cas’s approach would have been “no you’re not a monster, and I’m going to help you” which is why it’s the only one that would have worked.

Then, when we get to 14x19, escalating to trapping Jack in the box makes more sense, because they have already tried talking to him. At the same time, the audience knows that trapping him in the box is still the wrong approach, because Cas's compassion that he didn't get to exercise is still in clear contrast to all of the other failed approaches. The Dumah stuff in this episode probably gets replaced by something where Jack has a little more agency, because the point is “yeah he might do dubious stuff in a well-meaning way without a guide, but if he is looked after he’s fine", so it makes sense to show him doing some well-meaning 'bad things' – having stuff that he's purely manipulated into is a little dull.

In addition to the fact that salmondean wanting to trap Jack in the box makes more sense in this version, because Sam let Jack out of the holy fire ring, Dean can leverage Sam’s ~responsibility in whatever chaos Jack has causes since, to persuade him to go along with the box plan, so the character dynamics make a little more sense there. Also obviously, removing the revenge motive that comes from Jack having killed Mary makes Dean come off as less callously vindictive, and more (very poorly, but still) trying to deal with this very difficult situation. Like, he's still not behaving particularly sympathetically, and he has fallen back pretty quickly into his earlier ways of viewing Jack, but it's much more earned, and less "woah! Where did that come from?!" than in canon 14x19. Another thing that's fixed by Jack not having killed Mary is that he looks much less gullible for being tricked into the box, as opposed to the canon portrayal of which is sublty ooc in a really insulting way.

And then, like in canon, Cas is away while all this is happening, and stuff plays out pretty much the same when he returns, except that Dean tries to physically restrain him from going to get Jack from the box, and Cas shoves him out of the way, because I do have an agenda re the angel and (here, very mild, but still) violence in defence of his child <3

For Moriah, the actual Jack stuff can play out pretty much the same (but of course with the prevailing sense that "no, Dean is wrong to think he has to kill Jack! Cas will be able to sort it!"), only obviously Chuck doesn’t kill Jack. This is for several reasons: 1) Chuck killing Jack is a massive cop-out in that it avoids dealing with the repercussions of Dean nearly killing Jack, which is lazy, boring writing; 2) if the point of this rewritten soulless Jack arc is “what is the solution? Is there an alternative to trapping/killing him?” we need him to survive so that we can see that the solution would have worked, have the cruel approaches refuted; 3) for there to have been something gained from all this, the arc needs to conclude with Cas leaving with Jack. Cas has had major revelations re the situation his child would be in continuing to live at the bunker, and also been shown the extent to which his drive to take care of Jack differs from Sam and Dean's, both of which are reasons for him to realise that he does need to step up as Jack’s parent, in order to do right by Jack, the way he wants to. Like, Cas has learned stuff from this, and he should get to act on it, rather than just having his child killed in front of him. Also, I get a real kick out of getting to say to the audience “look, only one of these three can reasonably be considered Jack’s parent after all that! It's only Cas!”

Not sure what really happens after that. Certainly I am super enamoured with the whole “Cas caring for soulless Jack” vibe – it compels me greatly. I also have in the back of my mind a character-stuff-masked-as-lore solution which could happen either instead of or following that, where Cas sacrifices his grace to fix Jack’s soul, and then Jack is able to restore Cas’s grace via giving him a little of his own (given it’s turbocharged nephilim juice), and it doesn’t give Cas angel terminal illness this time specifically because it’s the grace of his son. Like, their chosen relationship being recognised metaphysically in a way that resolves the situation.

Anyway crucially, the soulless Jack arc has been rewritten so that the instead of the clumsy canon version, the focus is “what does it truly mean for him to be soulless? How do we resolve this situation?” and the answer is that while his moral reasoning is a little out of whack, he does still mean well, and we can resolve things by being kind and having his dad take care of him <3