#especially as a Cas mirror

[selvepnea]

A strange shirt sort of dream?

[yandere-wishes]

⋆｡˚ ☁︎ ˚｡Acolyte⋆｡˚☽˚｡⋆

𐙚Yandere! Qimir/The Master x Reader

˚ʚ♡ɞ˚ Plot: Your loneliness is suffocating, engulfing. Qimir is the only one who seems to subdue the pain. But every forbidden fruit has its price.

⁀➷Warnings: Yandere behavior, gore, angst (at the end), author having an anxiety attack over this fic  

🪐Note: Why is the longest thing I've ever written for a fandom that barely exists? Anyway, here's the long-awaited Qimir piece!

⁺₊𝄞₊⁺ : Disturbia - Rihanna, Dark Vacay & Motion Picture Soundtrack - CAS

⁺‧₊˚ ཐི⋆🍓⋆ཋྀ ˚₊‧⁺

Your master's anger is tangible. You harbour it stubbornly on your tongue. Relishing in the frustration. You aren't sure how many times you've cut out your soul to place at a master's feet. Gnawing on perfect lips to keep quiet during another scolding. Your new master's disappointment reverberates through the room. Thick and oozing like an infected wound.

You messed up again.

"We do not injure other padawans during training. We do not lash out and attack, especially when your training partner has fallen. How have you trained for so long without comprehending these basics?"

The rage that boils inside you is not Jedi in nature. It's something else, a bizarre second, something ancient, ghoulish. An all-consuming fire that burns inside your veins. It shouldn't feel so welcoming, so familiar.

You roll your eyes.

"With all due respect master. How is one to win, if they do not strick when given the opportunity? That too should be a basic notion, no?"

You see the anger snake across your master's face. A defeated, disgruntled, glance that you've become a bit too acquainted with. This is the look that all your previous masters give you. And yet none have yet to master its eeriness quite as well as your first master. Master Sol.

Your master sighs, a piercing noise, deflating every ounce of his willpower. You are exhausting to be around, his annoyance is becoming discernible. "Master Sol is coming by the temple to check your...progress. He's requested a few items to take back with him. Please go fetch them from the apothecary."

Progress is a gentle word and Jedi love using gentle words. It's easier to say than the full truth. Sugar-coated things always taste better.

But the sugar refuses to stick to you.

It burns away in your bitterness.

Coruscant is a distant memory, it was never your home to begin with. But the high bustling volume is something that is hard to forget. Here things are quiet, you slip through the bazaar undetected. Small basket clutched tightly. You wonder what's dragging your former master halfway across the galaxy. You wonder if it's really just to see you.

You gaze blankly at the holographic list. A few rare herbs and some medical roots. This planet grows them in abundance, and the local apothecary carries more than its fair share.

The apothecary is an old, disheveled thing. The older Jedi say that its presence is as old as the temple itself. Odd how some things have a will of iron. You gently rap at the worn metal door, waiting for an invitation to enter. The hinges cry as the door opens ever so slightly. You squeeze in, surveying the cluttered den. Careful to avoid the half-empty bottles and neon puddles scattered across the floor.

"Excuse me" your voice holds an urgent annoyance. Where is the pharmacist? What kind of store owner abandons their shop in the midday? You run your fingers across the strange bottles, letting your nails pick at the murky glass. The colors flash, begging to be freed, strange space pinks, and summer oranges all trapped inside square prisons. Baby poisons dying to taste the world, burning it if they must, but experiencing it nonetheless, tasting their own form of freedom. Funny, they almost remind you of yourself.

Trapped and fatal.

"Hello?", the voice behind you is languid, dozy. Mirroring a late afternoon nap. When the man next speaks you notice a lyrical lint "What brings you here little lady?". You turn to see it, the voice, or rather the man harboring the voice. He's loosely robed and shaggy in the way that only the most spirited vagabonds are. He smiles tenderly upon seeing your face, strange red fruit caught between his teeth. "I um...I" you click your tongue anxiously against the roof of your mouth. Feeling around for those pesky words, in the end, you just shove the hologram holder forward, hoping he'll understand.

"Oh, I see, out here doing some chores?" You nod, mind preoccupied with the otherwordly fruit. "what's that?" you ask, schoolgirl curiosity lacing your voice. "What, this?" he asks holding the freckled thing between his fingers, it's only in the mild light that you notice the shimmering gold scattered across its red skin. The stranger laughs, walking closer, he places the hologram base on the black table, clicking it on as he studies the list. "They're called strawberries. They're from the forest planets, not many grow here in the mid-rims." He's nimble as he packs the herbs and roots, fumbling with the straw ties. "care for a bite" he asks, handing you the bitten fruit.

Hesitantly you bite.

Letting the sweetness erupt on your tongue.

"Thank you" you mumble trying not to moan at the foreign taste. The stranger laughs, it's a cheery noise like birds chirping in first bloom tress. "you're a Jedi, aren't you?" he asks stepping around the table, eyebrows furrowed, caught in a dream he doesn't seem to understand. You choke on the rogue static as he steps closer, eyes half-lidded dreaming of nothing. "Here..."

"Wha-" your voice catches in your throat, it's getting harder to breathe.

"Your supplies" He hands you the brown paper bag, motion a little too phlegmatic to be right.

"Oh, right...thanks" You anxiously shove the bag into your basket and scurry out of the shop. Holding your breath.

"Come back soon." the voice chirps behind you.

Your old master arrives by spaceship, a newer, albeit worn model. The landing pad ejects to reveal a small escort.

Master,

Knight,

Padwan,

Apostate,

You stand still watching as they descend. Bits of envy bubble in your throat watching your former master and his band of little heroes. You wish you had their belonging. Forgoing the loneliness to find kinsmanship with your coterie. You swallow down the bitter thoughts as they finally approach you.

Master Sol's smile reaches his eyes. Gentle and wise. The true epidemy of a Jedi in every sense of the word. Funny how he now has two failures under his belt. None of which are capable of scratching his shining repute.

His hands are on your shoulders, bright smile. "My padawan, it's been too long." You try to bow, awkwardly and stiffly. "Mater Sol, I'm grateful you've come to asses my progress". If he hears your doubt he doesn't show it. Instead, he reintroduces you to Yord, Jacki, Osha.

You try to be polite. Gulp down the awkwardness

You imagine the taste of strawberries on your tongue.

Remember their stiff sweetness and prickly tasteless freckles.

You smile. Easier this time.

They'll stay here for some time. Hunting assassins and documenting progress in their free time. Jacki seems more invested in your training than you are, trying to teach you everything she knows. At least she doesn't mind the rough play, the violent strikes, and sloppy prideful defenses. She speaks in pointers and parries. She's the one to drag you along these assassin hunts. Welcoming you...or at least trying to.

But there is something else at play. Darker, broader, Sol and Jecki welcome you into the fray. Yet you still feel your old master's hesitance, he's still wary of you. Worried about your anger, your defiance.

The distance grows, some icy void.

Sol used to tell you fairytales. This was back when you'd been young and bright-eyed. Freshly welcomed into the order and still overflowing with artless hope for a colorful future.

But even back then, he had known there was something wrong with you.

Looking back it was evident.

Every story started and ended the same. Little princess against the big bad world. Holding out until her prince came along. Only problem was the morals never registered right in your little messed-up brain.

Why didn't the princess fall for the dragon, the wolf, the tyrant king with a crown of bones? Why didn't she swoon and sigh over someone rousing, compelling? A paradox wrapped in black ember? Why settle for a sun-painted prince, with no complexities, no mysteries to unravel?

You would have married the dragon, or the wolf, or the tyrant king with a crown of bones.

Even back then, it was evident something was wrong.

The temple's roof isn't restricted per se.

It's rather abandoned as opposed to forbidden.

Maybe that's why you find solace here. The abandonment feels familiar, similar. The chipped cement kisses the soles of your feet, you imagine it's something like walking upon the rough terrain of a star.

You breathe in the night air deeply.

Expecting the fragile scents of moonshine and star glitter.

Instead, you choke on heavy mist and blood-drenched air.

The thing standing in front of you isn't human. It can't be human. It's created from the blackness, ebony in all the ways a living thing shouldn't be. For a second you think you're staring at a black hole. No doubt this creature crawled out of one.

What sheer willpower one must need to drag themselves out of endless nothingness?

"Little Jedi should not brave the night alone."

It speaks

"There are far too many monsters roaming in the dark"

Its face never moves, statue in all the ways the figures towering over the entrance aren't. This statue is something else, a lost page to some forgotten epic. Carved from gems born in darkness. Evil and rotten.

"What are you?" your voice susurrate, quivering in this surreal scene. The air is thicker now, overflowing with raw static.

Your fingers itch for your saber. Only when the cold metal kisses your palm do you regain some semblance of reality.

The hiss, the green light.

The figure chuckles.

Its voice bouncing from every direction. Everywhere all at once. When it speaks the air cackles, raining as if it were a frightened child.

"I am something akin to you, another child of the force" His voice comes out distorted, uneven in tone. "I am what's birthed when one learns of the true strength of the force."

Your body moves on its own, feet kicking the ground sprinting faster and faster before the final leap. You aim for the helmet, for the morbid toothy grin permanently etched within steel. In a flash the word stills, floating around you like fluorescent bubbles, the rain tumbles around you, curving and diving for the wet ground. It dares not land on something within his grasp.

You feel the slithering across your body. They start from the ground, summed from the unknown depths. Clinging firmly to your ankles before inching up your knees, your hips, your neck.

long, slipper tendrils curling around your body. The figure watches, bare arm outstretched. You should probably be focused on how the unseen things are inching closer to your mouth. Not on the toned muscles and limber fingers of the monster. Not on how, for a fraction of a heartbeat, his smile appears genuine, caring, aimed straight at you.

Only You

They finally reach your lips, prying your teeth ajar and flooding your mouth. Sinking deeper and deeper into your soul, your mind, you.

The smile grows.

In a blink you're suspended in the space between worlds, dark damning thing cradling your body.

"The dark side once belonged to the Jedi, yet they chose to discard it. Deeming it malignant, ungovernable."

Your weightlessness unnerves you. You're malleable in this void.

"Those few who embraced its calling were dubbed Sith." He says the word with such fervent pride. Devoted to it's weight and all it carries. You try to roll the word off your own tongue only for it to burn the roof of your mouth.

The stranger stalks closer, lethal and lithe.

The void vibrates, the darkness bends to his will.

He reaches down to cup your face. His fingers feel warm, welcoming. You nuzzle into his palm, fighting the urge to kiss each finger and suck on the dark force they emit. "You..." he starts, his voice shakes you to the core. Its horror amplifies with the proximity. You wonder if it'll cut through steel, armor, flesh.

your flesh.

"You aren't like the other temple dwellers. You have potential."

His thumb presses your lower lip, demanding entrancing. You comply, needing to feel something solid.

Something you've been denied your whole life.

"They keep you locked away. Trading you between craven masters. Seeing who can tame you first."

He nicks his thumb on your teeth,

Pressing bone into dentin.

His essence drips into you.

He tastes of power.

Of dark, dreadful things you can not name.

"They do not know how to train you. How to use your power..."

The world crumbles, ebony midnights giving way to reality. You feel yourself fall, plunging through the air like a comet bent on destruction.

"They only break you further"

Your knees collide with the harsh ground. Skin splintering in the aftermath giving way to bruises and bloodmarks.

The ground feels too solid beneath you.

A poly, a ruse.

You all but expect to melt through it. Slipping and falling into the vacuum, into him, once more.

He hovers above. Absolute in his strength. You're beginning to believe that blackholes birth divinity. Eyes shimmering with fanatic fidelity, staring up at the holy creature commanding the storm.

"Teach me..."

You've never begged for anything so terribly in your life.

But you need this.

this power

this control.

him.

Sol never told just how the princess met the villain.

He never said it wasn't love at first fright.

Sol insists that the local apothecary knows the truth behind the Jedi-killer. Definite that the unseemly man can tell you something important. He sends Osha inside to play Mea. To get the man to talk.

You crowd around the communicator urging back giggles. Yord's chin is placed upon your shoulder and Jecki's cheek rests against yours. Their touches come so early. And yet they are utterly alien.

"He will be so pleased." No sooner have the words chime from the corroded speakers that Sol is ushering you all towards the small metal hut.

Yord entwines his fingers with you as he runs.

Jacki wraps around your arm.

You feel at times they are trying to tame you.

Befriend the feral puppy they found in the backyard.

The apothecary's face is utterly stunned. He's stammering over his words fear glistening in his eyes as he stares at Sol. "Please, please don't wipe my memories. Or whatever it is you Jedi do." A rosy blush colors your cheeks, at his terror. It's terribly amusing seeing someone so carless, anxiously list off everything he knows. You almost feel bad for the poor scared man.

There isn't anything important here. But Sol decides that you will all return at midnight. The Jedi-killer will be back. Apparently, Qimir -that's his name, that the strawberry-eating, disheveled pharmacist's name- is holding something of value for her.

There's a tug on your wrist as you go to follow the others. Gentle and firm as he pulls you to his chest. "Come by tonight. I'll have some strawberries waiting for you." why does he feel too genuine? When you turn to look at him, he's painted in his usual sweet carefree smile that tugs at your heart.

He looks so innocent...

Starlight really brings out his eyes. He's laughing with a nervous smile,

School-boy crush on full display. You're licking strawberry juice from your hands as you listen to him talk. Backs pressed against the rusty wall and bodies half sprawled in the dirt. He's telling you about the first time the Hutts made him retrieve a plushie for their son from another solar system.

Qimir's voice feels like rose peddles melting into your skin. Sweet, jejeune, free. You offer him a berry from your pile. Watching tentatively as he submerges the red fruit into his mouth. Missing your fingers by an inch. He's laughing after the fact, head thrown back as if he's about to engulf the stars. You decide to laugh too.  

"Are you really that lonely," he says in a voice that's almost not his own. You're not expecting the invasive question, although you guess he means well. The words still cut deep. Piercing through the laughter, stunning you for a breath too long. "No...I'm a Jedi, we do not-"

"Form personal connection. I know...But you just look so lonely." He shuffles closer, the dirt particles almost look celestial in this light. Your fingers pitch a civil war. Pinching and clawing at each other. "No, yes. I don't really get along with the others." He rolls his eyes, bored and amused in the same breath. "Yeah, no wonder your money." He's picking at another strawberry, letting the crunch fill up the silence. You're beginning to think he just likes having something to chew on. Gulping down the anxiety with something toothsome.

He's a little closer now, fingers gingerly tucking back your hair. His fingerprints reverberate across the shell of your ear. Lips gliding against yours. You swallow as his lips fall across yours, pushing sweet stars past parted lips. He tastes of odd things, whimsy things. Everything you'll never come to understand. Xeno fruits and asteroid fields. His fingers glide up your arms, leaving moondust in their wake. He slowly parts, holding you softly with his soulful dark eyes

"You taste so sweet"

Strawberry, Starberry, You kiss him a little too deeply.

Maybe your new master is right.

Maybe there are other ways of being a Jedi.

The movie playing is doused in shades of rose and lilac. Gentle in all the ways. Everyway. The twi'lek girl is in love with the zabrak boy and their families do not approve. You think you remember Sol telling you a similar tale.  

The makeshift auditorium is cozy. Brown couch housing the three of you and your armada of blankets and popcorn buckets. Jacki's head is in your lap, you're playing with the end of her braid imagining the hair to be the lace of a Love-sick girl's ballgown. Yord's arm traverses the length of your arm, absentminded as he studies the motion picture, poking holes in the lose rose-tainted plot. Your head rests against his broad shoulder taking in his new cologne.

Maybe you really did miss them.

Jacki reaches for the popcorn, offering you some before shoving a handful into her mouth. You think the little symmetry-less kernels would taste better with a strawberry glaze. Qimir flashes across your mind, smiling sweetly as he tilts his head.

You think you're a little too similar to the star on screen.

Pinning after forbidden love,

Forbidden power.

Master Sol is growing acutely aware of your drastic improvements. He's noticed the betterment in your offense, your defense. To the way, you wield your saber, your techniques, and yourself. There is esteem in the way he smiles. In the words of praise, you've longed to hear. But you notice the lingering glances, the undertone of skepticism and worry when he asks about practice. He doesn't need to know of the black-glad creature that trains you in the unholy hours.

He doesn't need to know how beautifully your new master sculpts your rage into lessons. Teaching you how to wrangle the force and control it. How to use it to make the world bow.

These things will remain secret. For you fear Sol and the others will strip them of you. Strip them of the new master you've come to worship.

"Do you think people glow when they fall in love?" Jacki's voice is filled with sleep. Eyes closed as she murmurs remnants of movie memory. "No, I don't believe they do" you answer. "too...bad" There was a yawn there darling and vigorous like the rests of her. She looks so sweet like this, infantile in all the ways she can't be. Little girl dreaming of something impossible. You wonder if Sol's told her the fairytales too. You kiss the crown of her head, your baby sister you think. And big brother Yord, snoring with his head thrown back.

Maybe you should test her theory. rising softly from the couch you make your way to the door. Throwing one final glance at your sleeping siblings. Before going to find Qimir.

His lips ghost over yours, spilling star-clad secrets between each kiss. The apothecary has never been so dark, so secret, so secluded. Qimir's lips glided across your neck biting the flesh and licking the little diamond droplets of blood. Your nails rack across his spine, the wool of his throw-over itching the backs of your hands. "So precious" he mumbles, voice ridden with want, need. it's criminal how desperately he needs to feel you. You writhe under him, "Qimir, kiss." you whine. His lips feel like a lifeline, something keeping you sain. He pushes fireflies and lava pearls inside you, carving you open and enjoying you

He always enjoys you.

It's foggy outside when his tongue clashes against yours. A thick unsettling mist banging against the darkened window. "You're custom-made for me" Qimir mumbles against your lips. "Custome tailored" you boldly correct. "ummm, sure" his hands pinch at your hips, clawing mindlessly and leaving tails to your thighs. But the sensations are growing distant, you hear the heavy hum of saber activation. You psyche cracks

The world is dark,

He alone is absolute.

Your master's mask flashes dangerously across your mind. "Master Sol would be disappointed". You've heard that line a million times. Still, the words cut a little too deep coming from your demiurger. "Gullible" you don't understand, what have you done to earn his rage? He's gone, leaving you in the emptiness, you taste the charcoal from the landscape under your tongue.

Still, you long to call after him.

"Master"

The darkness subsides with the feeling of softness across your muscles. A breeze stirs you from the clutches of slumber. "Good morning" Qimir chirps, soft smile greeting you as you open your eyes. "Qimir, when did I?" he laughs, it's such a pretty sound this early in the morning. Sweet like caramel tea. He kisses your forehead. His quietude is commendable, he tries to calm you with feather-light kisses. You laugh pushing the covers away and still. Frozen.

What's this

The nightgown is lacy and short. It drapes expensively against your skin. Marring it with its tenderness. "Qimir, what's this!" he chuckles, "I couldn't let you sleep in those robes, they looked uncomfortable." You want to argue, to scream, and be angry. But the rage boils down slowly as you notice something dangling around your wrist. A bangle, and an anklet you notice later, black and gold entwined in patterns mirroring lighting stricks. "They're from Korriban, I had some relatives there." oh, why does that planet sound so familiar? "Thanks, but ask me next time before you go playing dress-up doll with my sleeping body" He pouts and can't help but trail a string of mouthy kisses across his neck. Qimir shuffles pulling you onto his lap. Pushing his nose under your chin. His eyes are honey-deo, adoring and scheming. "But you're mine." The possessive ness that flesh across his face is alarming. So is how tightly he grips your waist. It's only in this state of half-undressed that you begin to notice the taut muscles of his arms.

During your most recent lesson, your master gifts you a ripe juicy strawberry. He says it'll focus you, replenish your wither strength. You eat it a little too quickly, forgetting to savor the pink blush within. You believe too ferociously in everything your master says.

He can never be wrong.

You love the way your new master splatters blood across your sleeves. Be it yours or his enemies. He's started taking you out on his kills, having you watch as he hacks and mauls. His enemies must die, no one who doubts such marvels should be granted the privilege of life.

He's only ever spoken in half-riddles.

"Unfortunately legacy is a fickle thing. Tenacious, fervent, yet frail and erratic. No matter how hematological, we all read our bones differently."

The rain falls to your ragged heartbeat. Fast one minute and slow the next. You stick out your tongue desperate for a few drops. Your body is on fire, every muscle pushed to its limit. But the Force is screaming inside you, thumping dangerously between your fingers. You're ready for the next round. Saber ready and only half mesmerized as your master pulls out another blood-red saber. You charge, rage pumping deliciously through your body.

You forget to ask him where he got the berry from.

The next Jedi to die will be Kelnacca. That's why Sol is dragging all of you to the forest planet of Khofar. You think the name is utterly hilarious, the others don't understand the mirth.

Between briefings and Jacki and Yords packing quarrels. You sneak out to say goodbye to Qimir. Scribbling a half eligible not to leave for your master. But the apothecary is deserted upon your arrival, only a taped note on a half-full mortar.

'Gone to get more Strawberries.

Be back soon.'

You wonder if Khofar has strawberries.

Strawberry, Starberry, you're falling between the cracks of so many.

The Sun on Khofar is red, barely breaching the thick canopy. Maybe it's for the best. This scene is not one to remember, but how can you make yourself forget?

Death looms.

Permanent, Eternal

The fighting began in twilight.

The sky has grown two shades darker since.

He had floated in from the high reaches. You'd almost called out to him, 'master', the words die bitterly on your tongue. His saber ignites in the carnage, light growing redder after each kill. The bodies fall haphazardly stirring the quiet night.

Your saber falls onto the woodchip ground. No sound. He has followed you here. Yet it is not you, he seeks. Your master mask is haunting, in the dark the silver mouth glows bright white. Even against a massacre

the smile never relents.

He twirls the red saber with lethal accuracy, red arc severing another life. 'Take the right!' Jacki screams through the force, her eager voice bouncing inside your cranium. 'Don't' you scream but she's already attacked.

Saber sings saber.

Golden light flickers.

Forward. Backward. Lunge. Parry. Flunge.

Just like you practiced. Back in the quiet of the training room. Is it too late to return to the matted ground and wooden swords? Too late for safe comfort?

You won't take it for granted this time you swear.

Your master attacks with vicious zeal, cutting through the light. His black robes bleeding into the night. Jacki, scurries backward, trying to block with every ounce of strength. In one swift move, she spins freeing herself and assaulting his head with the metal of her weapon.

The mask clutters to the ground.

You scream.

He looks every bit the villain here. Blood drenched, water drenched. Smiling like the wolf in a child's picture book. Qimir's face stares back at you, hair matted to his forehead. He's panting, spent. You've never seen him toil. Dreaming him incapable of harm.

Yet he stands above the corpses. Wolf's teeth bared as he slices through the little girl.

It's been years since Master Sol tucked you into bed. Years since he's read you a story and listened to your baseless questions about romances.

You've finally gotten your answer. Painted in a shade of red indistinguishable from black.

Because the villain is too vile to be loved.

You run, catching the limp corpse before it joins the rest, you cradle her close. Tears landing on the orange of her face. There are no strawberry romances here. No sweet forbidden fruits. Just pain, hollow, empty, rotten. "Jacki" your voice muffles into her robes, rain-soaked, tear-soaked.

"Was that its name?" his voice doesn't sound right. No cheerful hellos or drowsy laughs. It's all menacing now, grating and hollow lilt. "Qimir" you wail, sob half caught in your throat. "It can't be you." He shakes his head, smile crooked and maniacal. "I'm afraid so, little one." The force pushed you up, pulling you to him. Qimirs head tilts, his fingers dancing around your throat. Squeezing squeezing squzing. Your glossy eyes take in his unruly appearance. Even now your master looks utterly perfect. Muscles relaxed as he steals your breath. "Master" you whine, your heart shouldn't be hammering like this, leaping through beats like something lovesick.

"(Y/n)" golden light fills the clearing. Yord runs, Prince Charming in every way you should have loved.

Qimir releases you, only to nestle your neck in the crook of his arm. "Don't worry darling. I'm almost done." He blocks the first attack.

Second, third. Yord scrambles to pull you away, missing each time. "Let her go" The urgency in his voice rattles you. He did love you.

Little sister, little princess.

Why is only starting to make sense now?

There's a crack, so loud it echoes across the woods.

"NO"

Yord's body joins the rest.

no no no

"Where were we?" Qimir is every bit the villain.

The dragon, the wolf, the tyrant king with a crown of bones.

"You lied to me, you killed them. Why, why would you do this."

"Because the Jedi say I can not exist." Sith, right those things were supposed to be evil. Hailing from Koriiban, the evil Jedi forced to flee. And here you were having so readily given yourself to the enemy.

The blood flows free in the rain. Dozens of bodies drained.

There's a river of blood. You kneel by the holy thing, dipping your cupped hands into the crimson. You drink deeply from the massacre thinking it'll taste sweet. Qimir pulls you in holding your throat as he submerges you.

Baptized in blood

The world flashes red.

It feels so free here. Floating weightless, letting everything be. The rage can not find you in these depths. Free like an adrift astromech. Free to float amongst the stars.

When you emerge again. The world has grown brighter. You see the wide-eyed bodies, even Sol is among the dead, you swear you see disappointment in his lifeless orbs. You gulp, swallowing the euphoric faint. You see your new master before you. Swimming to him carefully, following the gentle tug of the force. Prey meets predator. Qimir chuckles, the water is shallow by the banks. He sits awaiting, on his makeshift throne.

There is no sympathy here you should know better

"You took adorable" Qimir rasps. Hot breath fanning your ear. "Master Qimir" you mumble shifting as he pulls you onto his lap. He laughs this is submission, a breath away from grasping his desire. He cups your cheeks, drifting his hands to your shoulders. Pulling you closer, bodies melting into one.

His kisses still taste like strawberries. Sweet and metallic. All possession and domination. Biting lips and tongue and flesh. Spilling fresh poison with each snip of your neck. He licks the blood from your fingers with feral pleasure. Swirling his tongue around each digit and pulling it further down his hungry mouth. You swallow the darkness from his tongue, letting him snuff out the little embers of light. The stars are burning away bit by bit. He pushes you under again.

Mornings on Khofar are dark, caught in a perpetual twilight. Qimir wraps his robes around you letting the midnight sink into your bones. "The ships a bit of a walk. But we should be there before noon." You paddle after him. Fingers lashing awkwardly at his hand. He turns and offers you that tilted smile once more, mask bouncing in his free hand.

"Master qimir" you confess, it feels so light on your tongue. Like clutching dying white-dwarf-stars behind your teeth. He chuckles, snapping a berry from a nearby bush. His smile sings of triumph, victory, earned in blood. He places the fruit amongst your teeth. You, his little war prize.

"My little acolyte"

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[p1utofairy]

★ WHICH COMIC BOOK COUPLE ARE YOU AND YOUR PERSON MOST LIKE?

NOTE — love and light my babies ⭐️🧿 take what resonates, leave what doesn’t. for entertainment purposes only. your feedback is always so greatly appreciated, enjoy!

— PILE 1.

channeled couple(s) → batman x catwoman + jean grey x cyclops.

your person is a very hands-on, actively involved and dynamic individual who thrives in fast-paced environments. they’re very resourceful and can turn a negative into a positive in the blink of an eye – a true problem solver if you will. they learn things/adapt quicker than most and i feel like a lot of people regard them as an amazing friend. your person is very inquisitive and always wants to know more. once they complete a task, they’re on to the next; it can be hard to pin them down for long periods of time. they might move around a lot physically (could have OCD) but i’m more so picking up that they’ve lived here, there and everywhere.

they’re always on the go! i’m also picking up that your person is a little bit of a control freak but gosh they can't help it; they truly love to lead and be of service. you’re gonna find this so hot lowkey lol which is funny because i think you typically go for someone that let’s you control things and have the upper hand but with this person it’s not like that. their sense of control is different though — it’s not possessive, like “you’re mine!” or “no, you can’t go out wearing that!” instead, it’s more about seeing you struggle with something and insisting on helping you with it. you might say, “no, i’ve got it,” but they’ll respond, “here, just let me…” you get frustrated because you just said you could handle it, but there they go, taking it from your hands and easing the stress and pain you were carrying. wow, that was such a descriptive scenerio but it just randomly came to me lol. it’s giving 6H energy!

11:11 on the clock i’m blushing hehe your person is super sweet and chivalrous it’s very charming, pile 1. don’t even get me started on their physique WHEW you’re gonna love their arms/biceps…your person might even have a lot of tattoos (i’m seeing sleeve tats) and i can just see you fighting the urge to playfully bite them lol. they could be very athletic and go to the gym a lot. now switching gears, the comic book couples that similarly mirrors your connection is jean grey x cyclops + batman and catwoman. some of y’all might be rolling your eyes at the mention of jean and scott (my wolverine girlies i’m talking to you) but HERE ME OUT and let me cook!

i feel like you’re more of a wanderer and don’t care to be as involved as your person is, if that makes sense? gypsy by fleetwood mac just started playing in my mind. trials and tribulations throughout your life might have caused you to turn inwards, and you feel unsure about what it is your supposed to be doing/where life is exactly taking you. your presence is more calm and still and your person is again, more hands on and out there. like jean grey, you are very clever and passionate but there’s a temperamental side to you. you might have strong air sign placements in your chart because i feel that you’re very rational about your emotions – sometimes to a fault. i think you hold back a lot of the times (especially when it comes to love) in fear of hurting other people’s feelings or just being misunderstood. some of you could have people-pleasing tendencies. your person gives that scott summers vibe because their actions are typically driven by a sense of duty rather than a desire to please others.

whether you know it or not, you wield a lot of power and sometimes i think people take your kindness for weakness. what your person is really going to admire about you is how intentional you are especially when it comes to giving/receiving love. you are so gentle and kind with your person – soooo doting and attentive. you two deadass have a telepathic connection cause when one person is feeling off, the other one can sense it. your person is also tryna be funny and say that you’re used to dealing with logans (wolverine) but they’re coming to change that. LMAOOOO your person is funny as fuck if you couldn’t already tell.

you both compliment each other so well, spiritually and physically. that’s why i also channeled batman x catwoman because y’alls vibe just gives that. y’all know those crazy ass tiktok/IG comments when people are like i need to see the tape PLS yeah…y’all evoke that reaction from people. you both find each other incredibly sexy like the sexual tension between you both is gonna be insaneeeee. i’m also sensing a bit of a bratty energy coming from your end in terms of the attention your person gets lol they might be very sought after. it’s reminding of the ending scene of ‘the batman’ when selena is urging batman to come with her and part of him is superrrr tempted but duty calls. i promise you that your person only wants you, though. like i’m being so deadass when i say that they’re literally gonna be devoted to you.

OTHER CHANNELED MESSAGES —

“i work alone”, you might be used to the wolverine types but what you really need is a scott summers, back to black by amy winehouse, spotless mind by jhené aiko, maneater by nelly furtado, dylan, slayyyter, dua lipa, ESFJ, ISTJ, resemblance to callum turner, 333, sagittarius, 6H cancer, capricorn rising, 555.

— PILE 2.

channeled couple(s) → daredevil x elektra + rogue x gambit.

oooo right off the bat i’m hearing stand still by sabrina claudia. you’re so unaware that we're feeling, the same thing, the same damn thing…time is standing still and why are we still here? interesting, pile 2. very interesting! you and your person are more alike than you would think. from the outside you both appear very different, but energetically you both are sooo compatible. i’m hearing “from different worlds” and being drawn to the movie aladdin lol maybe that’s one of your favorite disney movies or your person’s? i think that’s why i was picking up on elektra x daredevil because it’s like…you and your person’s upbringing differed in a way but there’s a common ground in terms of how it’s shaped you both. one of you is more forward and hasty while the other is more reluctant and calculated.

you feel very confined and limited…like your environment is just so repetitive and boring. you’ve been hoping for something new to manifest – and you feel like you’re on the brink of it, it’s like you can almost reach out and touch it. for most of you, this is in regards to your connection with this person but for other’s it’s a job/traveling opportunity of some sort. you could possibly live in a very small town or somewhere that doesn’t have a lot to offer/keep you occupied. you’re about to see some progress sooner than you think, pile 2. give it about 1-3 months and watch how the magic happens! sagittarius season could be very significant for you.

your person is going to come into your life HOT and HEAVY, omg. you’re gonna be like wait wtf when did you get here?! nobody’s supposed to be here by deborah cox is playing in my head now – i’ve tried that love thing for the last time…my heart says no, no! nobody's supposed to be here…but you came along and changed my mind. LMAOOOO well pile 2 get ready cause your person is gonna sweep you off your damn feet. now it makes sense why i channeled rogue x gambit for you two because it’s like you’re taking of risk of some sort…the risk being your heart. trusting someone romantically is like risky business for you.

you’re so used to being able to predict outcomes and know what’s going to happen next, but with this person uhn uhn things are not so black and white. actually, there’s a lot of grey areas and that’s what’s going to scare you yet intrigue you about this person. you’re so rogue coded, awww. rogue has the ability to absorb the powers and memories of others through touch, so that makes her very guarded and reluctant to form close relationships. gambit is intrigued by her, but she is wary of him. i see this being similar to you and your person’s interactions…there might be an initial hesitation on your end but there’s an undeniable chemistry between the two of you!

your person is similar to gambit who is a smooth-talking, charming, and rough around the edges type of character. he’s very drawn to rogue’s beauty and strength (and similar to you) her self-imposed isolation and emotional baggage makes her hesitant to open up to him. i’m definitely picking up on the slow-burn trope for y’all, pile 2. although you really want this connection you might feel held back by self-doubt and fear intimacy/vulnerability. you’ve gotta work through this slowly but surely, my loves. it’s not easy but it’s necessary because this person absolutely loves you, pile 2. they’d put everything on the line for you if they had to.

just like gambit, this person will always be deeply in love with you no matter how much you try to shut them out or act like your feelings aren’t as deep as they really are. i also just want to mention that your person has such a way with words like UGH the way they say things/articulate themselves is gonna have you going feral lol they’re so knowledgeable and persuasive. it doesn’t help that they’re fine as fuck too lol you’re gonna be mentally shadow-boxing your anxiety whenever you’re around them because they’re just soooo damn charming fr!

i’m also being drawn to one of the biggest themes of rogue and gambit’s relationship which is rogue not being able to physically touch him without absorbing his memories and abilities – which is something that frightens her, not only because it could harm him but also because it’s something that strips away everything from the person she’s touching. now y’alls situation is obviously not that dramatic, but i am picking up that some of you that picked this pile could be virgins or celibate. i feel like the wait will make you both become even closer.

OTHER CHANNELED MESSAGES —

you make wanna by usher, “i never thought this was possible”, bit of a wild card (no pun intended), fiery personality, leo/aquarius placements, you’re their best friend, love on the brain by rihanna.

— PILE 3.

channeled couple → wanda maximoff x vision.

you and your person are too stinkin’ cute, pile 3. lmaooo i know that sounds so corny and cheesy but your person puts you in this kind of mood. the sun is shining sooo bright as i’m writing this. it’s like you light up their life and vice versa. you remind them of a warm summer day at the beach where you’re free to just roam around, have ice cream and relax. you’re like a breath of fresh air for this person. your person can be extremely sappy (in the best way possible) like i see them randomly just grabbing you and spinning you around or twirling you lol they’re like…always in a good mood. they might like to sing or dance mhm i get the vibe that they have a CD collection like they really love music sooo much! they will love to cook for you as well awww they’re so considerate, pile 3. you guys are definitely giving that old school cutesy romantic 60s couple vibe for sure, i could cry!

i channeled wanda maximoff x vision for a reason i see. i feel like when you first meet your person you’re going to be going through alot in your own life and i’m not necessarily getting that it’s anything bad but it seems like you’re either working through something or towards something. this could be you confronting some childhood trauma and/or previous relationship baggage. it might also be that you're not quite where you imagined you'd be in life right now, or maybe you're feeling a bit unsure about your current path. whatever the reason, your person will likely sense that you're feeling a little lost, and they'll pick up on that shift in your energy. you might meet your person while you’re traveling or outside of wherever you live (i’m hearing out the country for some) and i see you two forming a very close friendship first. infrunami by steve lacy is coming to mind – girl, you're the one i want, you’re the one i need…i’m beggin' you, please. can you come back to me? 'cause i was blind to see that you were right in front of me. hm for some of you this person could be a mutual or you somehow know them through your friends? if not, there just seems to be a sense of familiarity between the two of you.

i’m hearing “wow what a small world!” so tbh you could meet this person through one of your friends lol now i’m hearing best friend’s brother by victoria justice PLEASE that’s so random but on brand. also i’m picking up that your person could wear glasses? they are very inquisitive and can read you like a book, pile 3.

like vision, your person can pick up on your emotions, sensing when something is off even if you don’t express it. though vision is a synthezoid, his close connection to wanda and his time with the avengers allowed him to empathize deeply with human emotions. over time, his understanding of these feelings went beyond his programming, and his love for wanda amplified his ability to sense when she’s in distress. he offers comfort to her when she's struggling with her powers or grief. i feel like this relationship will be therapeutic for the both of you! you scratch their back, they’ll scratch yours.

you are similar to wanda in the sense that you can alter/create your reality – YOU have the power, but you have to believe it first. you doubt yourself a lot and create a lot of chaos within your mind because you can’t decide whether or not you should do something or if you’re even making the right decision. i think this has a lot to do with your childhood/upbringing, you stay in the shadows instead of being in the spotlight. that’s the problem, pile 3. i think you’re afraid of taking up space in fear of what others might say or think. there’s this sense of imposter syndrome. in order to bring this relationship into fruition you’ve gotta trust and believe in yourself, my loves. you’re an absolute badass – pop out and act like it! 10:10 on the clock. stop getting so caught up in the idea of what you think should be perfect. nothing and no one is perfect and ironically that’s the beauty of life lol shit ain’t always sweet and that’s okay. the world keeps spinning. it might not seem like it now but you will be more than okay, trust me! your person can’t wait to be in your orbit eeek i’m giddy at the thought of you two connecting. you don’t even realize it but your spirit guides are working overtime to make this connection happen hehe it starts with you though, babe. buckle up cause your person is ready. are you down to ride?

OTHER CHANNELED MESSAGES —

michael, breakfast at tiffany’s, NYC, month of may, one of the girls by the weeknd ft. lily rose depp & jennie, looks like MBJ, leo, 7H, 6H/virgo venus.

[riksaes]

when he realise he's fallen in love

ni-ki nishimura x fem reader , synposis : ni-ki realises he's fallen in love and wants time to go slower , genre.. fluff , word count ?? , idk , listened to nothings gonna hurt you baby by cas and it ends with us movie ruined it for me so ugh

rq for any idols / groups

m.list

ni-ki and you were in the practice room because of how over working ni-ki was with the upcoming dances for their comeback. he was in poor conditions due to HYBE not giving them a proper break, this made your heart crack seeing how hard he's pushing himself physically but mentally as well. it wasn't healthy for him or the group either and seeing him from a distance like this made you feel bad for not being able to do anything about it.

you debuted with the group 'newjeans' who was also known well enough for HYBE to push around and mentally destroy but not enough like enhypen. ni-ki was always worried when you over-pushed yourself especially when you got injured during the MAMA 2023 awards on stage but didnt tell anyone until one of your members pressured you into saying it. it never mattered to you but your mind always drifted off to ni-ki's health before yours and made you blind to what was wrong with the current injury of yours.

looking at ni-ki through the practice room mirrors while sitting down with a moon boot carrying down your leg. it had been three hours with you being here because ni-ki didn't want to leave you alone in your apartment be alone in the practice room. even though he felt bad that you couldn't work hard like usual, he wanted to make sure you were still going out.

without thinking ni-ki did a move that made him blind over the fact he did it wrong, which twisted his wrist but not enough to injure it fully. this caught your attention and quickly stood up to the taller boy who was sitting on the ground looking at his wrists and silently cursing at it. limping over to the boy with the quickest pace you could do and sitting down in front of him. "ki.. you okay?" you pushed his bangs away from his sweaty forehead while all he did was nod trying to forget about the exquisite pain from his wrist. "yeah i'm okay, just placed it the wrong way so it kinda stings". he ended with a sigh just wanting all of this practicing to end and go have dinners with you like a normal human being.

looking at ni-ki who's puffed out and tired from overworking himself and you standing back up. "ki stay here and don't move i'll be back" you said and went to the bag you usually brought to practice that held items in case if someone or you got injured. he titled his head and watched you from where he was in admiration because even if you were injured, you were taking care of him.

digging through the bag and finally finding the little my melody full makeup pouch and closing the bag up. you walked over to ni-ki and sat back down in front of him. he didn't know what you were doing and just stared at you with complete confusion but admiration at the same time. "gimme your hand" you said not looking at him, trying to search for the little ice pack, panadol cream and a bandage. ni-ki put his hand out in the air waiting for you to take it eventually. finding the items and placing them onto the floor next to your boot that needed the rest after walking heaps. grabbing his soft arm and placing it onto your knee that was now a table for his injured wrist.

as time went on you were trying to prevent any pain for the next few days, ni-ki looked at you like you were everything. he smiled at the little things you were doing while you were injured but putting him first before anything. it always noticed and took note that you would do this, even if something was happening or even if you had to keep up your idol facade. he brushed away the loose hair that fell out of your messy ponytail and grabbed the clip from inside of the makeup pouch and used it on your hair. you smiled at the little gesture while wrapping his wrist up and kissed where he hurt himself.

ni-ki just smiled at the small heartwarming gesture and hugged you once you finished and taking in your hair product smell, that smelt like strawberry shortcake. rubbing his face onto your hair while smiling finally realising this is who he wants to stay with forever. even though he was still young, he would wanna replay every moment again just to keep them forever.

"i love you" he said

"i know and i love you too 3000" she replied with

a/n : sorry for disappearing i lowk died and came back but i may be gone for a bit again so this is my future apology

taglist: @microwvdstrawb3rri3s @chaconkii

[prythianpages]

There She Goes | Cassian

cassian x love witch reader | summary: You're determined to help Cassian find love. It is your specialty, after all. But Cassian finds himself falling for you.

warnings: none? this is fluff, I guess?

a/n: Though this is part of a series, it can be read as a stand-alone. Jumping a little ahead here to established friends (:

Cassian and Azriel strolled through the cobblestone streets of Velaris, the familiar warmth of the city wrapping around them like a comforting embrace after their trip to Windhaven. As they passed by the bakery, the irresistible aroma of freshly baked goods wafted out, tempting them and slowing their steps. 

"Well, since we're passing by, we might as well indulge. " Cassian said, flashing a grin at Azriel.

“Support our local businesses.” Azriel nodded his head in agreement, mirroring his grin as if they had not purposely taken the longer path back to the town house. His shadows wrapped around the shop’s door handle, pulling it open and he gestured for Cassian to step inside first.

Cassian’s eyes lit up at the sight of the display case filled with pastries, his stomach rumbling in response. There was so much to choose from—from savory to sweet—and he craved both. But then his gaze fell on the heart-shaped strawberry tarts, and it was almost embarrassing how quickly his thoughts drifted to you.

Strawberries and heart-shaped objects were among your favorite things. 

Granted, you had many favorite things, especially if they were pink. And if they were that tickle-me-pink shade—because yes, there are different shades of pink as you passionately taught him one night—well, that made them even better.

After buying a couple of tarts among a handful of other pastries, he could almost picture your delighted expression, and a warm, fuzzy feeling spread through him. Something that did not go unnoticed by Azriel. “Didn’t know you liked tarts so much,” he commented.

“I always liked them.” Cassian replied, brushing off his friend’s curiosity.

Azriel’s gaze narrowed. “Since when?”

“Since now.”

Cassian shrugged, pulling one of the tarts from his bag and eagerly taking a bite. He closed his eyes for a moment, making a dramatic show out of proving his point right as a contented sigh escaped his lips.

Azriel’s eyebrows knitted together in a skeptical manner, but Cassian was relieved he didn’t pry further. His shadows, however, began to pulse with sudden craving, and Cassian glared at the one that curled itself around Azriel’s ear. Centuries of friendship with the Shadowsinger have given Cassian some insight into the behavior of Azriel’s shadows. Those sneaky little tendrils could be just as meddlesome as he was.

And Cassian has yet to tell his family about you.

Though you’ve been friends for a while, he’s hesitant to share this part of his life with them. It's not because he is embarrassed, but because he knows they’d bombard him with questions about you. They’d also be eager to meet you, undoubtedly curious about the person who has captured his attention. Cassian is sure they already suspect something is going on, and the way Azriel’s shadows keep eagerly fluttering around him makes him wonder if Azriel has already figured it out.

A selfish part of Cassian just wants to keep you to himself. For you to be his person—Cassian shakes his head at the thought, quickly correcting himself. He wants you to be his friend, and only his friend, for now.  He isn’t ready to share you just yet.

Out of the corner of his eyes, he catches a glimpse of pink and his heart skipped a beat. His heart settled with a hint of disappointment when he realized that the pink had come from the cotton candy a vendor was selling. 

Get a grip, Cas.

He heard your laughter next—or what sounded like it. There she goes, Cassian thought, his lips curving into a fond smile as his mind formed the image of you laughing. The way your eyes would light up, crinkling in an endearing manner as you tilted your head slightly back. And there she goes again, racing through his mind...

He could even picture you in this moment, walking gracefully through the plaza in another one of your pink outfits. A pink strawberry cardigan with light-colored pants and matching pink ballet flats. Wait a minute...

Cassian realized he wasn’t imagining things. That had been your laughter he heard. And you were, in fact, wearing a pink strawberry cardigan. Like a vision straight out of a dream.

You must’ve sensed him too because in a heartbeat, your head turned in his direction. A bright smile spread across your face. Cassian’s smile widened, his eyes softening and he couldn’t bring himself to care over the way Azriel’s gaze immediately shifted between you two, shadows whispering madly.

If there was one person that could keep a secret in the family, it’d be Azriel.

“Hey, Cas,” you greeted as you approached them. Your steps came to a stop and gaze shifted to Azriel.

A sense of panic had Cassian’s wings tensing as you regarded his friend.

Azriel had always been the most beautiful of their group. Many fae—females and males—flocked to him on the nights they’d successfully dragged Azriel to Rita’s. He was never short of suitors, and it seemed that he was always the first choice. It was something Cassian couldn’t help but be envious of, and the longer your gaze lingered on Azriel, the more his wings tensed.

“Hello! You must be Azriel. Cassian talks a lot about you and of Rhysa–the High Lord as well.” You corrected yourself, extending your hand out toward Azriel.

“Yes,” Azriel replied, side-glancing at Cassian as he politely shook your hand. “That’s funny actually because—”

Cassian elbowed Azriel, giving a subtle shake of his head. Don’t say anything, his eyes screamed at him. Azriel fought the urge to roll his eyes, choosing to clear his throat instead. “Because I am Azriel…”

“Right…”

“Anyway, it’s nice to finally meet you…,” Azriel trailed off, the corner of his lips tugging upwards into a faint smile as that sneaky shadow of his curled around his ear once more. “The one Cassian has been running off to a lot...”

Cassian turned his head to glare at Azriel in warning. He then turned his attention back to you. He watched as your gaze flickered between them both, then to the bags full of pastries they carried, before settling back on Cassian. He let out a small exhale, not realizing he had been holding his breath. The panic that had begun to seep in was now pushed away by relief.

You had not fallen victim to Azriel’s effortless charm. He wouldn’t have blamed you, if you had.

“I hope I didn’t interrupt anything.”

“Not at all.” Azriel replied for them and your eyes lit up.

You clasped your hands behind your back, shifting your weight from one foot to the other.

“Does that mean you’re free then?”

“Yes,” Azriel answered for Cassian again, his eyes twinkling with amusement.

“Mind if I steal him from you?” You asked Azriel, though your gaze had not wavered from Cassian.

“No, take him,” Azriel said, playfully shoving his friend your way. “You can keep him too.”

˗ˏˋ ★ ★ ˏˋ˗ 

The sounds of children laughing and playing filled the air, and the vibrant energy of the city seemed to mirror the tumult in Cassian's chest. “So, what did you need to steal me for?” 

“Your company,” you replied simply, your smile warm as you watched the kids in the park. You missed the way your words made Cassian blush. “I missed you and was thinking about when you’d return. I got some updates for you…”

When he didn’t respond, you turned your head toward him, catching him staring at you with an intensity that took you aback. Your eyes met his with a curious, questioning look. Cassian quickly cleared his throat, attempting to mask his racing heart with a facade of nonchalance.

“I got you something.”

“You did?”

Cassian held up the pastry bag before opening it. He pulled out one of the strawberry tarts and that delighted expression he had imagined earlier came to life.

You gasped, drawing a genuine smile from his lips. “How did you know I love these?”

“I had a feeling,” Cassian said, nodding towards your cardigan, the shade of pink he had come to associate so closely with you.

“Well, thank you. You’re the best!”

Cassian’s wings fluttered behind him and he was grateful for the way you were distracted with the pastry to notice. But as you lifted your gaze back upwards, your eyes widened at something behind him. His muscles tensed when your hand suddenly gripped his arm, shorter form moving behind him. 

“Hide me!” You hush-whispered and Cassian’s instincts were quick, using his free hand to push you further behind him, your forehead pressing into his back.

His gaze sharpened, senses on high alert, as he searched the area for danger.

“What is it?”

“See that fae over there? The one with silver hair and wearing bright green? That’s my ex. And the other fae right next to him is his mean wife, who is always unpleasant to bump into.”

Cassian’s eyes narrowed as he glanced at the couple you pointed out, who were slowly approaching where you both stood. He turned, keeping you hidden behind his broad form as they walked past you. Only when they were out of sight did you step around Cassian, resuming your place by his side. You let out a long breath, wiping the nonexistent sweat from your forehead that had him resisting the urge to chuckle.

You finally indulged in the sweet pastry in your hand, struck by the need of a sweet distraction from the stressful situation you narrowly avoided. You waited until you swallowed the first bite completely before speaking again. 

“We dated for almost a year. He broke up with me because I was ‘too much.’ Guess he couldn’t handle me. Yet he can handle that crazy wife of his. Amazing what love does, isn’t it?”

There was no hint of bitterness in your tone. Only a soft, dreamy one that had Cassian’s jaw tightening slightly. “Amazing,” he echoed, though his thoughts were far from the admiration you harbored. 

He couldn’t fathom how anyone could think you were too much. To him, you were just right. Perfect, even. He could never get enough of you. The idea that someone else had the chance to experience that, and had let you go, was… infuriating.

“They give me hope.”

“What?” Cassian couldn’t help but let out a snort, pushing past the emotion he dared not name as he looked at you.

You looked back at him in an incredulous manner. “They give me hope,” you said again. “They remind me that there is someone for everybody. That there will be someone for me too one day…Hey, don’t look at me like that.”

Cassian shook his head, forcing a smile to his face as he reached into his bag of pastries and pulled out a macaroon. “You just don’t talk about your personal love life much.”

Your eyes softened as you gazed at him, missing the conflict in his. “Well, there hasn’t been much to talk about lately. I’ve had relationships here and there.”

“I actually dated the bakery owner’s son awhile back. It only lasted three weeks. Biscuit bit his ankle when I first brought him to my place. Worked in his favor, though–he met the love of his life at the healing clinic. They make a really cute couple.”

Cassian’s eyebrows raised in surprise, thinking back to the blue-skinned fae with delicate features he’d seen occasionally at the bakery. He would often help his father during the winter season but he hadn’t seen him lately.

“I’ve opened my heart to many but none of them have wanted to keep it.” You said with a shrug and then took another bite of the strawberry tart. “My love life is quite eventful but it leads to nowhere. I don’t talk about it much because it’s not good for my reputation, you know? A love witch who cannot find love herself…”

Cassian's heart ached at your words. He stared at you again, not knowing what to say to sweeten the bitterness that had befallen upon you. It was then that he noticed some of the pastry’s cream on the corner of your mouth. Without thinking, he leaned in and reached out, his thumb gently brushing against your skin as he wiped it away.

The sudden closeness made your breath hitch, and he realized just how close he was to you. Your eyes locked and his hand lingered on your face, the warmth of your skin sending a shiver down his spine.

“Sorry, you had some of the pastry on your lips, ” he murmured, his voice barely above a whisper. He was close enough to see the flecks of color in your eyes, to feel the warmth of your breath against his skin. 

Something deep inside–like a hidden instinct– screamed at him to close the distance.

But instead, he let his hand drop, the moment slipping away like sand through his fingers. He brushed his thumb against his leathers to wipe off the cream before popping another macaroon into his mouth as if nothing happened.

“Maybe you should just date me.”

 Cassian choked on the macaroon. “Date—” he managed between coughs, “you?”

His eyes widened, and for a moment, he thought he had seen a flicker of hurt flash through your eyes. But he must’ve imagined it because you were flashing him a grin, your eyes twinkling with mischief. “I’m just joking,” you said with a small laugh. “It’s just that people tend to meet their soulmates after breaking up with me. In a weird sense, I’m like a good luck charm. To all, except myself, that is.”

He felt a pang of disappointment, the feeling threatening to sink his heart. Of course, you were joking. He thought back to the fae you just told him about. Both males were tall and elegant with soft and beautiful features. They were so different from him, a stark contrast to his rugged warrior persona.

It was clear you had a type, and he was far from it. Just as he was convinced he was way out of your league. You would never date someone like him.

“Don’t worry! My love life might be a mess but when it comes to others, I am an expert. I have brought soulmates together. I made a vow to you, Cassian, and I intend to keep it. I’ll help you find your special someone, magic or no magic. Which brings me back to the update I wanted to share with you. I made a new friend the other day! Her name is…”

Cassian allowed you to tug him toward a quaint iron bench beneath a blooming tree as you rambled on. He settled down first, stretching his wings out to their full span to make room for both of you. As his wings curled around you, his heart raced at the accidental brush of his wing against your arm.

 You continued to chatter excitedly about the new friend you thought Cassian might be interested in. “She’s beautiful, weight-lifts, is interested in Valkyrie training, and—are you even listening to me?”

“Yeah, of course,” Cassian replied noncommittally, drawing a small frown from you. In truth, he hadn’t been listening.

Something bright flashes in your eyes, the frown leaving your lips as quickly as it had come. “Did you meet someone in Windhaven?”

“No.” Cassian let out a snort. His trip to Windhaven consisted of solely dealing with the grumpy war camp lords. It was anything but pleasant. “I doubt I’d find love there.”

“Nonsense! Have you learned nothing from me?” You exclaimed, shifting in your seat so that you leaned forward slightly, palms of your hands placed on either side of your thighs. “Love can be found anywhere!”

Your eyes danced with excitement, searching around the plaza. He recognized that look on your face and leaned back, preparing for another impromptu love lesson. 

“Just look,” you said, your voice soft as you pointed to various scenes around them with tilts of your head. “There’s love in the way a mother pushes her little girl on the swing—just the right amount of force to send her soaring but gentle enough to keep her safe.”

Cassian watched, mesmerized, as your pupils dilated into heart shapes, pink magic beginning to dance from your fingertips. “There’s love in the way the elderly couple walks hand in hand, their steps in sync as if they’ve been together for multiple lifetimes.”

“There’s love in the way the flower merchant sneaks an extra rose into the bouquet she just wrapped for her customer. There’s love in the way the customer’s hands brush against hers as he takes the bouquet, his touch lingering for a moment longer and oh, would you look at that—”

Pink stardust soared through the air, forming little butterflies that fluttered around the female and male at the flower stand. They circled around them, drawing them closer to one another, shimmering over them. “—He actually bought those flowers for her to ask her on a date and she said yes!”

“There’s love in the laughter of children playing in the park, their joy infectious...”

Cassian listened, but his focus was less on the people you pointed out and more on you. The way your eyes sparkled with passion, the soft glow of your smile, the gentle manner in which you observed the world—everything about you was enchanting. 

It all made him yearn for something more, something he feared to admit. And in that moment, he realized that he didn’t need to find love in Windhaven or anywhere else.

Because what if...

What if it was right there, sitting beside him, wrapped in pink magic and heart-shaped pupils?

“Uncle C–”

A high-pitched, familiar cheerful voice drew Cassian out of his thoughts. He blinked and then he was looking around the park, keen eyes searching for the voice that sounded just like his nephew’s. But there was no sight of the adorable toddler that held a special place in his heart.

“Love is in the air, Cas.” 

You were looking at him now, eyes filled with warmth and affection. He wondered if you could see the longing in his gaze, if you could feel the depth of his feelings. 

But then you smiled, a smile so pure and bright that it took his breath away, and he knew he couldn’t risk losing you.

How could he ever hope to be worthy of someone as extraordinary as you?

a/n: I hope y'all didn't mind the time jump. I do intend to post more fics that occurred between the tarot love reading and this one! One of them is a bit angsty and gives more of Love Witch's POV since these have mainly been in Cassian's. I just had the inspiration to write this thanks to the song it was titled after.

Guess Azriel couldn't keep a secret, after all. This part leads right into the next, which was from a suggestion of love witch meeting the IC and also inspired by the song She's So High. If there is anything you'd like to see in that part, just let me know! <3

Biscuit is the name of Love Witch's pet snake btw, who will be introduced soon.

series masterlist

series taglist: @mrsjna , @shadowsingercassia, @acourtofbatboydreams, @rcarbo1, @mvidaaaa ,

@stuff-i-found-while-crying , @lipstickmarks, @yamisukehoe , @mp-littlebit , @thecraziestcrayon, @talesofadragon, @ceoofyearning

General tag list: @scooobies, @kennedy-brooke, @sillysillygoose444, @lilah-asteria @the-sweet-psycho

@daycourtofficial, @milswrites, @stormhearty, @pit-and-the-pen, @mybestfriendmademe

@loving-and-dreaming @azriels-human, @mrsjna

[totaly-obsessed]

Chaos and dressing rooms

Alessia Russo x reader fic

-> Chaotic reader doesn't know how to do her hair, Alessia helps her out

➳ Masterlist

•─────⋅☾ ☽⋅─────•

The Arsenal dressing room was always a vibe, even if it was just for practice sessions. Usually, Leah Williamson would be blasting music, but with her being out with a torn ACL, Katie and Steph took over, making for a wild mix.

This would be your second season at the club and even with the new additions, you were one of the younger ones, forever in awe watching the likes of Kim Little and Beth Mead play. But you fit in well, making fast friends with Lotte and Laura who always laughed at your half jokes-half stupidity. In the beginning, Katie tried to recruit you for her pranks, but in the end, it was Jen who would take on the role of your ‘mentor’ for getting around and meeting people.

Now in your second season, four new girls were joining the team – Laia, Amanda, Cloe, and of course Alessia. Meeting them was easy enough, especially the English striker, as you had played her last season – but the other girls were nice as well. You not having competed in the World Cup, as you hadn’t managed the jump up to the senior Lionesses just yet, made it easier to meet Laia, who was joking with you as well as she could with her limited English.

Your dressing room cubby was situated between Steph and Beth who constantly were teasing you for taking forever to get ready – always the last one out on the pitch. Nobody thought anything of it, the girls just thought that you liked to take your time, or that you weren’t organized well enough, and while that was true, the real reason was you struggled to do your hair.

Every single day it was a battle – buns were insecure and fell out easily, tight pony-tails gave you a headache and the swishing hairs annoyed you to no end. Not being able to braid your own hair was incredibly annoying.

It's not like you didn’t try.

You did.

Every single practice session and game, at home before going out, and just when you were bored – nothing worked. After a while your arms started to hurt and tears threatened to fall due to frustration. That’s why you were the last one out, giving your hair just one last attempt before giving up and throwing it in a nice and easy low bun.

And today was no different. It was the third training session since the girls got back from the World Cup, and the new players joined them. Everyone was hyping themselves and each other up before they left the room.

“Has anyone seen my Jersey?”

Jen rolled her eyes, “In the bathroom.” With quick steps you retrieved your jersey, no clue how it got there.

On the way back you tripped over Laia’s shoes – the Spaniard barely catching your arms and keeping you from hitting the ground.

“Where are my shorts?”

“In my bag, you left them yesterday, I washed them.” Katie threw them to you, your forgetfulness and clumsiness highly amusing her.

---------------------------------------------------

Slowly everyone left but you. When you didn’t see anybody you tried again, desperately trying to braid your hair in front of the quite high mirror.

“Why isn’t this shit working?” With a loud clattering, your brush fell to the floor.

“God damn it! Why can’t I do this? Why am I so stupid?” Alessia, who was still in the bathroom listened with a little smirk on her face until she heard your voice wavering. You were always so fun to be around, so hearing you this frustrated with yourself and being so mean to yourself was new and terrifying for the striker.

“Fuck this.” You had given up, resulting in a low bun. Alessia heard you throw your brush into some corner, frustration getting the better of you.

Not wanting you to be embarrassed, she waited until she was sure you were gone before entering the changing room. The brush she picked up was littered with cute little stickers, and covered in hair - obviously yours.

The tall blonde could just imagine you roughly brushing your hair in anger, feeling sorry for your scalp.

Carefully she put it down in your cubby, and before she left Alessia collected your things that were all over the room and folded them neatly for you.

The rest of the team and training staff were already standing in a circle when Alessia joined them.

“Looks like we have a new late-commer!” Jonas was laughing at the striker, not mad at all. When Alessia's eyes met yours, she could see the realization dawn upon you – She had been there when you were so harsh to your mirror image.

During the whole training session, you were much quieter than usual, embarrassed that you had been caught – by Alessia at that. Alessia who was new, and who you admired so much.

Katie, your traings-buddy tried to get information, on why you were so strange, but you deflected, making her talk about Lauryn’s game instead. While the Irish woman obviously knew what you were doing, she was more than happy to talk about her little sister to someone genuinely interested – even if it was just to distract you.

Alessia tried to get close to you, but somehow you were always gone before she got there. At the end of training, you just packed your bag, not even changing, and stormed out the door.

You took notice of your thing being neatly folded on your cubby and you briefly glanced at the tall blonde who was already looking at you.

“She was weird today, right?” Kim, who liked to title herself as your big sister asked into the silence that you left behind.

“Yeah. Yeah, she was.”

---------------------------------------------------

The next day your chaos started all over again, and the older girls were relieved that you seemed to be back to normal again. Alessia was surprised that you even talked to her, she thought you were mad at her when you really just needed to get over your embarrassment.

After everyone else left, it was just the two of you left.

“I’m sorry that you had to witness that. Yesterday, I mean.” The striker knew what you meant and sat down next to you, one of her big hands stroking your back, trying to get you comfortable.

“Don’t worry about it.” It was silent for another second, your cheeks felt like they were on fire from blushing so hard.

“You’re not stupid.” Her hand stilled and she gently grabbed your chin, turning your face to her. Your brain just blanked, and she saw, “You were really mean to yourself yesterday – You are not stupid.”

Upon your attempt to turn your flushed face away from her, she held it more firmly. “Do you understand amore?”

A weak nod earned you a raised eyebrow. “I’m not stupid…” The blonde smirked satisfied and turned your face to press a kiss to your cheek.

“Come now, I’ll braid your hair. No need to make your scalp bleed anymore.” With gentle hands she pulled you in front of the mirror, braiding your hair with quick fingers before squeezing your shoulders when she was done.

Katie and Beth wiggled their eyebrows at the two of you when they saw Alessia enter the pitch with you at her side – your face so flushed no one could miss it.

And from that day on, Alessia did your hair in the dressing room. But it wasn’t kept a secret for long, so with her help, you managed to get ready on time. Alessia, your own little assistant, who would never complain about your jitteriness, clumsiness, or forgetfulness. An angel sent from heaven – or hell when you looked at Manchester United.

[nickeverdeen]

Hello! May I request a headcanon of Ekko with a woman who is essentially an introverted foreigner who ended up joining the Fireflies, and Ekko falls in love with her?

Ekko falling in love with an introverted foreigner woman who joined the Fireflies hcs

The arrival of a foreigner in Zaun doesn’t go unnoticed

You’re quiet, reserved, and keep to yourself, making you stand out among the boisterous inhabitants of the city

Your skills and knowledge, honed in your homeland, quickly earn you a place within their ranks

Ekko, being a leader figure among the Fireflies, decided to help you get acclimated

Your initial interactions are formal and brief

Ekko tried to engage you in conversation, but your nature makes it difficult for you to open up

Of course Ekko respects your boundaries

As you go on missions together, Ekko starts to see glimpses of your true self which earning his respect

You, in turn, begin to see Ekko as more than just a leader as he slowly becomes a friend

Ekko makes an effort to reach out to you in small ways

He shares stories about Zaun, introduces you to his friends, and shows you around the city (when possible)

Ekko hopes that this makes you lower your guard a bit

Your quiet conversations become a regular occurrence

You both talk about your pasts, your hopes for the future, and the struggles you face at the moment

You find yourself drawn to Ekko’s optimism and resilience, qualities that contrast sharply with your own nature

An unspoken understanding begins to form between you two

You don’t need to talk constantly to feel connected; your each other’s presence alone brings comfort

He appreciates your silent support

Ekko becomes increasingly protective of you which doesn’t go unnoticed by others

He’s always looking out for you during missions, making sure you’re safe

You notice his concern and starts to rely on him more, feeling a sense of security you haven’t felt in a long time

There are moments of vulnerability when you open up about your past and the reasons you left your homeland

Ekko listens without judgment, offering his support and understanding trying to heal your old wounds

Ekko starts to realize his feelings for you

It’s not just admiration or friendship; it’s something deeper

He finds himself thinking about you constantly, wanting to be near you and make you smile

You begin to notice Ekko’s subtle signals

The way his eyes linger on you, the gentle touches, and the genuine concern he shows

Slowly your own feelings start to mirror his

One night, after a particularly intense mission, Ekko finds the courage to confess his feelings

You both are sitting in a quiet corner of the Fireflies’ base, when he tells you how much you means to him and how he’s fallen in love with you

You might be kidna taken aback at first, but you reciprocates his feelings

It’s a tender, heartfelt moment that solidifies your bond

You both navigate your new relationship with care and respect

Ekko understands your need for space and quiet, while you make an effort to engage more with him and the Fireflies

(No preassure)

You guys find a balance that works for both of you

You share your dreams for the future with each other, both personal and for Zaun

Trust becomes the foundation of your relationship

You learn to rely on Ekko, knowing he’ll always have your back and Ekko does the same

Your relationship becomes a support system for both of you

You face the dangers and uncertainties of life in Zaun together, drawing strength from each other

The Fireflies notice the change in the pair, seeing how your bond has made the lovers even more formidable

You balance your duties to the Fireflies with your personal relationship

It’s not always easy, especially for Ekko, but he makes it work

You become each other’s anchor, a constant in a world that’s often chaotic and unpredictable

Your love story becomes a beacon of hope for others in Zaun

It’s a reminder that even in the darkest times, love and connection can flourish

(That sounds cheesy, my bad)

As your relationship deepens, new threats emerge

Rival factions, internal strife within the Fireflies, and the ever-present danger of Zaun’s underbelly put your bond to the test

Both Ekko and the woman make sacrifices for each other

Ekko takes on additional risks to protect you, while you step out of your comfort zone to protect and support him

There are moments of doubt and fear

The pressures of the environment sometimes strain your relationship, but you always find your way back to each other

Despite the challenges, you find joy in the little things like:

Quiet moments together, shared laughter, and the simple pleasure of each other’s company

Your relationship has a positive impact on the Fireflies

You start discussing long-term goals, both for yourselves and for Zaun

Your vision for the future includes not just survival, but thriving and building a community where others can find the same sense of belonging you’ve found in each other

As time goes on, you start to talk about creating a future beyond the Fireflies

A life where you can build a home, have a family, and live in peace

Your bond becomes unbreakable

You become a shining example of what it means to fight for love and to build a life together, even in the most difficult circumstances

(That was also cheesy and I apologize for that, but I’m not removing it)

[mustainegf]

𝐁𝐈𝐑𝐓𝐇𝐃𝐀𝐘 𝐁𝐎𝐘 ¹⁹⁹²

We dropped the kids off with their my mom this morning, so that Dave and I could spend the day together, special for his borthday. He was 31 today. As we close the front door behind us, my attention is immediately on my husband, looking handsome as always.

"Happy birthday, baby," I smile, leaping forward towards him. Dave instantly pulls himself into me and we hug tightly, feeling each other's body heat.

"Thank you, hun.. I'm looking forward to spending it with just you." he gives a sly smile, slender fingers clutching my waist.

"Mmm.. speaking of which, give me a few minutes, come in when I call you," I purr, hands lingering on his chest before bounding off to our bedroom.

My heart leaps with excitement as I slip off my clothes, there is something irresistible about the thought of a whole day of alone time with Dave, especially on his birthday.

I rifle through my drawer to find the dark red lingerie set I had bought special for today. The delicate lingerie set featured a sheer mesh fabric, so you could see underneath, adorned with small embroidered roses. The deep burgundy straps framed the body. The triangle bralette offered a peek of skin beneath the translucent material, while the matching thong has slim double straps that traced along the hips. I knew he would be drooling.

I slipped the lacy undergarments onto my curves, pausing to admire them in the mirror.

I snicker and lie back on the bed, making sure my position was promiscuous. With careful precision, I move my fingertips to the area between my thighs, teasing myself as I waited. "Dave?"

I called out after what felt like forever. "Yes, darling?" Dave replied through the door, unable to contain his excitement. He could not believe that tonight was finally here.

"You can come in now." There's a lightness to my voice, a playfulness, but there's no denying the list.

I ran my fingers across my wet lips, slowly circling them once. I watched his expression change as he stepped into the room. His eyes flicked down at the sight of my lingerie, sucking sharply in his breath.

I smirked internally, taking note of how aroused he already looked. I lazily tugged on one of my nipples through the lace, giving him a mischievous grin.

"Happy birthday, handsome."

My hand drew the strap of my g-string aside, revealing my pink clit to him. I bit my lip, waiting for him to react... "Fuck." Dave said, staring down in a trance-like state at my pussy.

"I'm all yours today, whatever you want me to do," I whisper to him.

"That's a dangerous game, sweet thing..." Dave snickered, stealing a peck from my lips.

He backed up slightly, revealing his cock as I examined its shape and size. His hardening erection pulsated heavily against his black boxers.

"Is that for me?"

I asked him seductively, tracing the tip with my fingertip. "Of course..." Dave answered with a growl. I grin at that, trancing my hands up his hard shoulders, as if coaxing him to decide what he wanted to do first.

He seems too pent up to make a decision. "Lay down... let me give you your present.."

I tell him softly. He obediently lays on the bed beside me, head propped upon his pillow. My panties were being moved to the side, once again making way for his mouth.

His tongue gently tapped the petals, coating them with saliva until they were shimmering in the evening light.

At once my abdomen clenched, leaking more liquid onto his face and wetting his jawline with it.

Now he started going even further, his tongue teasing entrance before sucking onto my clit.

"Oh God!" I exhaled, watching him massage his hot tongue against my swollen flesh. "Aww... naughty boy," I whispered. In that moment, I reached over to grasp his throbbing erection.

I ran the slit of the head with my thumb several times, spreading the pre-cum all around. Soon I started working both his shaft and balls.

"Ah..." He sighed, closing his eyes and inhaling deeply. His brain wasn't thinking anymore. All he could feel was me caressing his manhood like silk.

I kept going, all while rutting my hips down onto his face. By the sounds he was making, he was thoroughly enjoying himself.

His thrusts became more powerful and urgent, teeth grazing the folds of my labia as he tried to get deeper inside me. And then suddenly he stopped.

A little disappointed at first, I leaned down onto my elbows. But my mood quickly changed when I found out why he'd stopped.

Dave had moved upwards, resting atop me. We kissed lovingly, sharing our mutual lustful desires.

My legs were opened wide to welcome his cock inside me. He placed the head of his dick at the opening of my vagina.

Then he pushed in slowly, leaving my inner walls tingling from excitement. "I've been dreaming of these walls since last night, sweetheart," Dave moaned, pushing inward.

This made me tremble. Dave pulled himself out completely and repeated the same motion. Every inch of me burned with desire, feeling electrically charged. My eyes widened in amazement at his sudden aggression.

"Oooh!" I gasped, surprised by his force. He kept ramming in and out fast and furious.

Harder and harder, deeper and deeper. I couldn't hold myself still anymore, squirming wildly beneath him. "H-happy bi-irthd-dayy." I whined passionately, letting go of all restraint.

The repetitive slapping noises coming from our bodies made me hear my name being yelled from somewhere far away.

Screaming profanities, the sound echoed throughout the room. Slowly, the pace of his thrusts increased yet again.

"D-Dave it's too much.." I whine, genuinely unsure if I can take it this hard for much longer.

Save nods and slows a small bit. My pussy quivered and soaked itself with pleasure juices at every rapid penetration. "Doin' so good... so so good... such a good birthday present, yeah? You like being my toy?"

Dave tugged at my lingerie top, tossing it across the room and greedily groping my breasts. "Yes, Dave! Y-yes..."

Before long, I began to lift my hips up to meet his cock every time he plunged in, knowing exactly where to touch him to turn him on even more.

Dave pulled away, cock slipping from my grip which made me pout and moan. "Such a needy thing? Just wanna please me on my birthday..." he snickers, slapping his cock onto my soaking, fluttering clit.

My whole body convulsed from the sensation, crying out in delight as a flood of juices flowed out of me. I cried out, hands fisting sheets.

"Shit, hun... cumming that quick?" He grinned wickedly, still rubbing his length on me as the juices soaked into the mattress.

"Just remindin' ya who's birthday it is, sweetheart. Can't have y'all lovin' anyone else besides me, can we?" And with that, he plunged into me again.

Juices leaked and trickled from my cunt, splattering all over my thighs, his thighs, the sheets, anything. The overstimulation was far to much and I could only make dumb little noises as my breasts bounced up with every sharp force of his hips.

"Come on, just a bit longer.. you want the birthday boy to cum, don't you, angel?"

he continued in-between kisses. I didn't know how many orgasms Dave had given me. All I knew was there was no end to the fireworks. Nor did there seem to be any end to him fucking me.

"I'm so close, baby... so close.." Dave heaved, thrusting like he was in heat.

"Good girl." Dave grunted proudly. His voice was getting raspy; he clearly needed some relief. With one final push, he buried himself deep within me until our pelvises met.

Reaching underneath him, Ilocked my ankles together around his back, ensuring that he would not pull out until he was done with me.

Dave froze and stilled himself as deep as he could, warm spurts shooting into me, and soaking into my aching hole.

He remained motionless for some seconds afterward, releasing one final shudder. Then at last he collapsed next to me, breathing heavily.

I didn't budge either, still half-asleep and trying to regain consciousness. I looked up to see tears streaming down Dave's cheeks. Concerned, I reached out and touched his arm. "Dave honey? What is it?"

"I love you..." he admits, teary eyed and smiling.

"And I love you too..." I kiss him deeply on the forehead, bringing him into my arms.

𝐇𝐀𝐏𝐏𝐘 𝐁𝐈𝐑𝐓𝐇𝐃𝐀𝐘 𝐃𝐀𝐕𝐄 !!

[f-t-e]

I started watching SUPERNATURAL in November 2020. I know, I know. My partner and I had been isolating alone since March. The timing felt right. I went though a wild amount of upheaval and trauma over the next year and SPN was there for me through it all. It was THE show at THE time and it kept me afloat when I needed it the most. Since November 2021 I've written just about 110,000 words of SPN fanfic, a number that seems unbelievable to me, and that too has been a real blessing to my creative life, no matter what haters say. (why didn't I write my own novels in that time? Because I have a hobby, Karen, and I love it.) And I've read about 500000x that much fanfic, which has been the biggest blessing of all. (ETA: oh right, if you want to read my fic, you can find my stuff here, I wrote a fic where Dean reads books. Lots of books.)

I know I'm a nobody in this fandom but I thought on this, our #DestielDay, I would submit my own humble rec list. I've curated this very deliberately: every fic here has just about 4000 hits or less (most under 3000) and all were published in 2020 or after. So, sort of a rec list for some lesser known and newer fics, something you maybe haven't stumbled on yet. Especially thank you to @jewishcharliebradbury, her rec lists gave me a place to start back in the day and I have tried to model the depth and quality they brought to their lists. I tried to link to everyone's tumblr, but if I missed one, let me know.

Most of all, thank you to everyone who has EVER created something for this fandom, from 2005 to 2023. I am so thankful and, honestly, honored to be among your number. You're not supposed to be cringe and say a show saved your life...but SUPERNATURAL saved me, it really did. See y'all when the movie/reboot drops, to quote Ryan Gosling in The Notebook: IT WASN'T OVER, IT STILL ISN'T OVER. And I'm glad.

-----

Finale Fix-It & S15 and Beyond

What The Moon Was Saying by Amiril (@runawaymarbles)

This is hands-down one of the coolest “Dean Rescues Cas from the Empty” fics I have ever read and the concept is brilliantly structured to mirror the literal and metaphorical things Dean needs to give up and let go to get free. Every scenario is very satisfying and they make sense, is there any better feeling? Dean is very open in this, but in a believable way that still has edges. And, oh, the reunion is so good. Plus all the family stuff. Just excellent, exactly what you want in a fic like this: lovely, well-written, smart, fulfilling, all the pieces clicking, the show but better.

Awake and Annoying by skycruise

I love the use and passage of time in this one, it has some real impact, and I love the way Dean gets into the Empty (so smart, fits just right) and what I REALLY love in this one is the way it lets Dean be really clear-eyed and honest about his relationship with Sam, both the strengths and the weaknesses. And the last line, very clever and moving inverse of one of fandom’s favorite things. 

Living the life you chose by allthismusic

THEEEEE post finale Sam Winchester-Outsider-POV this fandom needs. Sam is absolutely awesome in this, the most believable, loving, realistic mix of “I knew all along” and “I had no idea” versions of Sam, landing somewhere I think that’s really true and in character. It fills in and develops so many gaps and silences in what the show let Sam know in the absolute best way. Best Brother Sam is a weakness of mine and he really shines here, there for Dean in the best ways but also coming into his own, I love it so very much. (this author also has a very great 2022 Big Bang fic, hugely recommend that one too.)

your ear to the wound that whispers by EmandFandems (@lazarusemma)

Who doesn’t love a HANDPRINT FIC?!? And boy this is such a good one. It follows Dean and his thoughts on the handprint from the first touch all the way to fixing the finale and it simply buzzes with longing and desire, tenderness and rawness. It’s great insight in lot of ways into Dean’s journey. It’s short but fulfilling and oh that very perfect last line. (this author also has a lot of great Jupernatural content.)  

Somewhere Off in the Dark by magickastiel 

Another awesome fic that traces Dean’s shifting/growing feelings for Cas from when he shows up in his hotel rooms to a HEA fix it after canon. Dean, again, is handled so deftly in this one, his confusion and sorrow at all the times Cas is slipping away from him all the way through the things he won’t let himself know. He feels really true in this one, sharp and tender in the best Dean ways. Also it has an agonizingly romantic end, you love to end up there.

Pins and Feathers by theskywasblue (@buttherewasnogod)

This author has so many freaking good SPN fics, omg it was almost impossible to pick just one to include on this list. Go treat yourself with their entire list because there’s so much good stuff there! But this one, oh I am a sucker for a finale fix-it that lets Dean be this tender. While I LOVE fics where he just jumps right into Cas’s arms (and write them lol) I also feel like this is so true to Dean too: that “maybe I misunderstood, maybe I shouldn’t say anything, maybe he doesn’t still –” And on top of all that, it’s a “they go the beach” fic and it gets the details of it so right, sand in your toes and all. Tender, amazing slow-burn, real, hot, full of heart and longing and everything unspoken and just waiting. Very satisfying!

i loved you first by kalmialatifolia

A set of four short fics that create an entire world of feeling and emotion. These feel like little whispered stories told under the covers, very atmospheric. There’s one very sexy one, a haircutting one (so good) and they’re just intimate. All together a great set and did I mention they’re in the “Cas saves himself” genre which is mmmm an underrated treasure.

no other faith is light enough for this place by anonymous 

A fix-it fic that has a particularly unique and beautiful visual of both how and why Cas comes back. The mechanics behind it are fairly standard but the way this author creates the visual of it, the sheer emotion and force behind it and how it happens, it really stood out to me and stuck with me. It’s Dean being brave enough to really feel and the way that just blossoms – lovely, aching, full-tilt wonderful.

 no proof, one touch by TakeThisWaltz (@watchinghimrakeleaves)

One thing I absolutely cannot get enough of is fic where Cas is hiding out from Dean in heaven. It just hits. And the only thing better is Dean chasing him down and the WAY he does it in this fic, methodically and – well the method (sobs) it is so endearing and OBVIOUS and gives Dean a chance to shout in all the best ways. This one is just real sweet and kind of goofy and if they have to be in heaven, I want them to still be these same two dorks.

Stay by redbrickrose

This is a post S15x18 from Cas’s POV and I think it’s very true to where he would be in the moment of getting yanked out of the Empty: resigned, hesitant about what he has in front of him, still a little in shock. And then. And then. Sweet and simple and Dean gets a chance to say, say, say it. This author has a good post series AU and a lovely little spate of S15 codas, all good. And then wrote this in real-time in the week after 15x18 Despair and right before 15x19 Inherit the Earth aired (could you just sob over the possibilities?!) and then hasn’t wrote anything since and that’s a shame but, like, yeah I get it.

like a one-two punch by Muir_Wolf (@muirmarie)

Don’t you love a short fic that feels like it’s a whole novel? This goes AU after 14x20 Moriah but it is a truly delightful twist on how Chuck could’ve reacted there and it makes Dean sharp as a knife, which is one really resonant image woven through this fic. Great imagery here and so many clever solutions for the lazy plotting of S15, including simply one of my all-time favorites in any fic ever solutions to Cas’s deal (genius) and getting rid of Chuck. Brilliant like a puzzle box yet still full of so much fucking joy.

maybe i like pleasure pain by tothewillofthepeople (@kvothes)

The fact that this was written in October 2023 and is so agonizingly good fills my heart with joy and tells me Destiel will never die lol. Cas, in particular, is great in this – he’s having a hard time adjusting to being in a body and with all the fuzz of the world. I love fics where Cas struggles with coming back from the Empty and this uses a really unique approach to it: Cas facing sensory overload and not knowing how to feel but wanting it all. Lovely, hot, Dean is just right in this too.

Earlier Canon (pre S15)

Proverbs 13:12 by starlingcas (@angelcasendgame)

Many might say I am biased because Renu has beta’ed everything I have written in the SPN fandom and they can read my brain and make everything I write better. But it’s not just that. Renu has done something beautiful and delicate in this fic, which is about Dean and Cas getting trapped in a net together (forced proximity trope, yes please) and weaves a web of its own; pulling you in just as they are pulled together. This is set mostly in early S14 (before fixing the finale in the most heart-healing way) and captures that feeling so well. There’s so much that’s unsaid between them yet still conveyed and Renu absolutely nails that, along with the tender longing that was always there. This is a fic to relish.

you may tire of me (as our december sun is setting) by deludedfantasy

You know how the show just sometimes is like “uh so anyway uh then Cas…uh…left.” and it just doesn’t make one lick of sense? FINALLY FINALLY a fic where Dean says “I’ll go with you,” and then goes because he actually would do that. This is a post Tombstone fic so it is exactly where/when he WOULD go and it is tender and hesitant and aching in just all the ways it would be between the two of them at this time. It’s about needing to keep someone in sight, it’s about having another chance to say something so important, it’s slow and soft and just right for the characters in this place. I could read this one about 100 times.

the anatomy of flightless birds by cowlovely (@dollhousemary)

This fic is basically the way you feel when you get all cozy and snug underneath your favorite blanket. This is a domestic-life-in-the Bunker S9 fic where everyone behaves like they are in character and not just like they have to get Cas off screen because the writers panicked. You’ll just want to curl up in this fic and savor it the way you wrap your fingers around a hot beverage on a very cold day, there’s no better way to describe it.

virtue by JenTheSweetie

I think I’ve read this about 100 times and it still gets me everytime? It’s a five things fic about Dean and Cas hooking up and it’s all you’ve ever wished for. This is set in an amorphous S8 and it is not just agonizingly hot but also romantic and very funny. It feels really in character! Sam is hilarious, Dean is clueless but bowled over and letting himself be swept up, Cas is delighting in every second and smarter than he lets on and it ALL feels fated and lovely and sexy and just splendid. (this author only has 3 SPN fics but they are all so good and if you try sometimes, well you just might find is an absolutely brilliant deconstruction of Dean learning the differences between “needing” and “wanting.”)

Romance at the Motel 6 by shelia_amour 

This fic makes me feel like Stefon from SNL. This fic has everything: Cas and Sam pretending to be married, just the right amount of jealous Dean, Dean randomly pretending to be married to Cas, Dean realizing maybe this isn’t so fake after all, motel vibes, Cas in Dean’s clothes, Cas getting bee slippers. If you are not sold on this already, we are very different people. So good, aches just right. (set in a kind of “whenever” of canon, but I like to put it somewhere in S8.)

que sera sera by Purple_Starflower (@hauntedpearl)

The epitome of how fanfic unfolds for us all the things that COULD happen. You can’t PROVE to me Dean and Cas never snuck off to snuggle and feed Dean’s touch-starvation early in S13. I had to check when I finished because I just couldn’t believe this fic was under 4000 words because it feels so full of touch, longing, the things unspoken, and all the ways Dean was reaching, reaching, reaching. The best kind of ache, and everything by this author is lovely. 

the hard edge that you’re settling for by lesspopped (@trekkiedean)

This is some S10 Demon!Dean that made my stomach hurt and my heart ache and I absolutely loved it and I absolutely hated it and it all felt so REAL with who Demon!Dean was and could have been. There’s a TW for mildly dubious consent in this, but to me, Cas was so agonizingly true to who he was/where he was at this point in canon too. This fic is gloriously, claustrophobically intimate. I say unbearable because as a reader you know that this closeness, this intimacy, is what Dean wants/craves/deserves but can only give himself as a demon and the author does an exquisite job at getting all that across. Hurts so good! 

four of swords by sundryvillians (eurythmix) (@perenial)

Can the world ever have enough post 12x12 fic? The answer is, of course, no. Dean and Cas bake bread and in the soft space of creating something with their own hands, get so close to the words Cas said. It’s about healing and anger and making something just because you are so tired of everything breaking. If that alone isn’t enough to convince you, let me also throw in this is another one of those “possible off-screen moments in canon” that gives them something honest and tender and raw and it feels so very possible. 

Fifteen Prayers From the Faithless by koyas_cat

Short, achy, that sweet sting. A set of prayers for Cas from the beginning to the end, full of all the things Dean doesn’t let himself say outloud and just reflecting the changes in their connection over alllll the years. So good.

[dotthings]

Let me debunk a few more misinformation things about what Misha or Jensen say about Destiel. (Bolding some particularly relevant things I really want people to notice).

At Darklight Con Nov 8, 2020, Misha firmly said Cas's confession was about romantic feelings for Dean. (Notably, this is a European con, not CE in the US). Misinformation has sometimes been spread that Misha said Cas's confession wasn't romantic. Not true.

Misha then added that in his "interpretation" it was "unrequited" but continued on that "I'm speculating" and "I don't know what's in Dean's head. And Cas doesn't know." Misinformation has gotten around that Misha ever confirmed that Dean absolutely isn't in love with Cas back.

He then said the same things Jensen has said about supporting people's interpretations. They align on this viewpoint. (Antis don't want to listen, it's inconvenient for them).

He confirmed that Jensen was all in supporting Cas's confession scene. And that Jensen was told 3 months in advance. Since some have tried to claim it was sprung on Jensen at the last minute, a week before filming or something, and it was all an evol nefarious plot to lie to Jensen, trick him, and ambush him.

I mean, come tf on.

Jensen had three months to think about it.

And it's not only common practice on TV to have actors not know things too far in advance so their performances can be as spontaneous as possible, Jensen himself has said it's his own practice not to read ahead, so Dean's reactions can be as spontaneous as possible, and Jensen was in fact was given more than the usual amount of lead time about Cas's confession.

And was all in.

But especially interesting to me is how Jensen and Misha's comments mirror each other's take about the other's character.

Jensen and Misha have both told us they talked about Destiel.

Am I being clear enough here? They have talked about it. With each other. Often. They have an understanding among each other. (Yet antis seem to be in complete rampaging denial about this little fact).

And Jensen and Misha's takes often complement each other's, fit each other's on certain points, or even align via different styles and slightly different approaches and takes but actually boil down in essence to the same thing, plus both of them keep saying to fans...run with your interpretation.

It's like...both of them were trying to hand it to us, in any way they could manage, despite all those network shenanigans where it's not going to be acknowledge on any official SPN PR (like DVD set extras...and it seems like Misha kinda went, you know what if the network won't back press about this, I'll do it myself so he said things, here and there, to say what this was, dodging the CW sniper).

Misha's take: Cas has no idea what's in Dean's head and Cas doesn't know whether Dean is in love with him romantically the way Cas loves Dean or not. Jensen's take: in Dean's pov, because of Cas being an angel, assumption that his love is so cosmic and unfathomable no human can grasp it, so Dean has no clue as to the specific nature of those feelings for him. Mirroring!!!

(Side note...there's plenty of room here for an interpretation that Cas did know how loved he is at the moment The Empty took him. And I think that too...but that doesn't mean he knows Dean is romantically in love with him back, just that Dean loves him, period).

BTW, Jensen never said anything about how he played things wrt Dean's feelings for Cas, what he said was he never played Dean knowing Cas was in love with Dean (because Dean didn't know Cas was in love with him!!!!).

(And omfg I am so sick and tired of seeing Jensen misquoted about that, and it's never done with good faith motives, ever.)

It's about what Dean didn't know. It's about what Cas didn't know.

Which is the actual plot!! We watched!!! Dean and Cas not realizing the other one is in love with him is just so *chef's kiss* exactly miscommunication destihell. Was always part of the story, how many times did we talk about this ourselves?

Receipts below.

[kitamine69]

Gojo doesn't care about how "heavy" you are

gojo x chubby female reader

feeling inspired so thought i'd write a small smut (this is my first time writing anything) MDNI 18+

mostly fluff tbh but has smut at the end, mirror sex, positive affirmations, i miss u gojo pls come back

any feedback is welcome :)

Satoru doesn't care about about how heavy you are

especially not when you try on a sleek black satin nightdress that shows off your plump thighs, clings to your wide womanly hips and accentuates the small of your waist. 

Easy access, he thinks to himself, his imagination starts to run rampant with images of you sprawled out beneath him on his bed, his large hands travelling under the black fabric towards your soaking wet p- 

“UGHH” your frustrated grunt breaks him out of his errotic daydream, causing Satoru to look towards where you're standing in front of the mirror.

 Before he decides to lift himself from the bed, he quickly adjusts his pants around his now hard cock (he thought about you for maybe 5 seconds and you’ve already managed to make his girth strain against his pants, if that doesn’t prove how unbelievably attracted to you he is, then he doesn’t know what will)

Satoru strides over to you and stands behind you, he catches sight of your cute little pout and furrowed brows in the mirror, when you make eye contact (well what you think is eye contact, considering the whole blind fold thing) he takes notice of the genuine sadness and frustration seeped in your eyes, this in turn, makes Saturo’s lips morph into a pout of his own. . 

“What’s wrong, my beautiful, amazing, sexy, goddess, princess?” he asks in a baby like voice.

You break your gaze from the mirror and focus on the ground “I don’t like how this looks on me, it’s clinging to the wrong parts, my arms are too chubby, my ass isn’t round enough and, and-”

Satoru puts a hand over your mouth and gapes at you through the mirror 

“WOAH, woah, baby, I’m gonna have to stop you right there. I will not hear this blasphemy any longer”. The genuine shock of hearing this come out of your perfect mouth seeps into his tone of voice.

A small muffled noise of defiance comes from you and he notices the creases in your brows have eased, then and there he decides that his life mission is to make you see yourself the way he sees you- well, maybe not the exact way he sees you, you’ll need the six eyes for that after all. He slowly moves his hand from your mouth and 

“But-” in a flash his hand moves back to its place over your mouth. 

 He clears his throat and puts on his best teacher voice “Now, now, we’re gonna do an exercise, you’ll need your mouth for it, but I'm only gonna move my hand if you promise to do what i say, yeah?” 

You roll your eyes at  this but decide to play along, nodding your head which is met by a lopsided smirk from Satoru

“Hehe, i knew you liked being told what to do” He cheekily remarks as he, for the second time, removes his pale hand from your mouth, this time with nothing but a scoff at that comment escaping your lips.

Satoru hands settle on the curve of your hips, his long digits wrapping towards the front of your soft stomach, pressing his thumbs lightly into your back and he places his chin on top of your head. 

“Now look at yourself in the mirror” the humour in his voice has all but faded, giving way to a deep almost raspy tone. 

You fulfilled the command almost instantly and he let out a small chuckle at the revelation that this is all he needs to do to get you to listen to him.

“Now, repeat after me…”  

“Now, repeat after me.” you mock him in a deep ‘manly’ voice. 

‘Haha, very funny” “haha , very funny” 

“Satoru Gojo is the strongest most sexy perfect man in the whole world” 

“...........” he swears he can hear crickets chirping in the background

“HHEYYYYYYYY! YOU’RE SO MEAN TO ME”  this earns a giggle from you. 

Okay made her laugh, mission ‘make her know she’s beautiful’ is A GO! 

His hands slide across your stomach and wrap around your waist now, caccooning you completely as he hunches down and rests his head on your shoulder, directly next to your face. “Alright no more funny business, missy, look at yourself and say ‘I am beautiful’” 

For some reason you struggle to muster up the courage to say it and instead settle for a small mumble “i.. Am beautiful” 

“Tsk tsk, louder” his voice raises a decibel, exhibiting the volume he wants you to use. 

“I am beautiful” you match his volume but this does not please Gojo enough 

“LOUDER!” He is almost yelling now 

“I AM BEAUTIFUL” you match his volume again  

“LOUDERRR!” he squeezes your waist and presses his whole body against your back 

“I AM BEAUTIFULLL” You are both pretty much screaming at the mirror now, you wonder how fucking insane you both must look if an outsider were to walk in on you now. Apparently this pleases Satoru enough and he dips his head into the crook of your neck and peppers small kisses up and down, you lean your head to the side to give him better access and his kisses trail down towards your shoulder where he finally gives you a small love bite.

“There you go, Good girl” a small praise but he knows it turns you on and you squeeze your thighs together softly. “Now say, I am lovable and loved”. 

With your mood now instantly improved thanks to your beloved Satoru, you find no problem mustering the words “i am lovable and loved” 

He praises you again and rewards you with a quick peck on the cheek and a small squeeze around your waist.

“My body is amazing and i accept my body” he prompts 

“My body is amazing and i accept my body” you answer confidently

He rewards you again with that same pet name and those same motions, hoping to somehow transfer all his love to you and show you how perfect he truly thinks - no, not thinks - knows you are. He catches sight of the blush spreading across your plump cheeks and your slightly flustered expression and admires you through the reflection, taking note of every freckle, every beauty mark, the mesmerising hue of your irises, the roundness of your flushed cheeks, to the arch of your cupid's bow. Lost in this new stupor, his eyes roam south, appreciating the swell of your breasts and the cleavage this dress reveals, further down he casts his eyes on the soft pudge of your thighs, so unbelievably squishable, lickable, biteable. 

He can’t help himself any longer.

His lengthy arms uncoil from around your waist and slide down your front, his thumbs grazing the sides of the mound of flesh covering your pelvis, his agile hands find the soft skin of your thighs and slides his hands under the slip dress. He lightly grabs your inner thighs, coming dangerously close to your warm core, his fingers spread and play with your flesh, digits accidentally poking underneath the edge of your panties before returning to kneading the sensitive tissue. Paying special attention to that extra bit of squishy fat right at the top.

A soft whimper sounds from you and that’s all it takes for Satoru to murmur lowly in your ear

“Are you ready for me to show you how perfect you are” 

No, Satoru doesn’t care how heavy you are 

Especially not when he’s got your new dress hiked up to your waist, hands grabbing the flesh on your hips roughly as he pounds into your sopping cunt from the back, making you grab onto the mirror for support. 

Especically not when his hard cock is rocking into you so roughly he can see the extra jiggle of your thighs and stomach that drives him crazy, making him somehow fuck your tight pussy faster. 

Especially not when you’re thanking him for ruining your pretty little pussy through slurred speech and pathetic little whines and moans. Not when he’s forcing you to look at him destroy your walls through the mirror, with your hair bunched firmly in his fist and mascara running down that perfect face of yours. 

No, Satoru doesn’t care how heavy you are when he picks your exhausted body off the floor and you wrap your legs around his hips, giving his girth access to your slick sore pussy to use again. Not when your pussy takes his full length so perfectly in this position, him holding you up as he fucks up into you relentlessly, your nails digging into his back and your cunt squeezing him so perfectly when you cum, over and over again. 

No, Satoru doesn’t care how heavy you are 

Especially not when he gently places your spent body in his bed, sliding in beside you, engulfs you with his  limbs and breathes “i love you”. 

And especially, especially not when you turn your head slightly to whisper “Satoru Gojo is the strongest most sexy perfect man in the whole world”.

[harlowsbby]

Hot Girl Jobs

lil summary, I got this idea from kb & karla’s youtube video!

“You’re so evil!” Annie laughed as you explained your little prank to her. “And what about it? It’s just a little prank.” You giggled.

“It’s harmless I swear! I could’ve done something way worse and you know it.” You giggled once again.

“A little prank that’ll send Jack to an early grave due to you giving him a heart attack.” She stated and you huffed.

“Don’t be so dramatic Annie but are you on your way?” You asked her as you put the finishing touches on your make up.

“I’ll be at your house in about four minutes did you want me to come inside the house or?” She asked. “Yes, when you get here just open the door it’ll be unlocked and be on the phone with Urban!” You told her.

“Okay I’ll see you in a few.” The two of you said good bye to one another before hanging up the phone call.

After you finished doing your make up you quickly put on an outfit that Jack wouldn’t exactly approve of to be worn outside of the house.

It was a black mini skirt with a little black top and a pair of heels. It showed little to the imagination especially when you bent down.

You were pranking Jack by making him think you got a job as a bottle service girl. You had recently quit your job due to stress and the management team and you figured this would be the best time to get him.

Because for one he would totally believe it considering you were jobless and had told him earlier that morning that you were looking for a job and well Jack was easy to mess with so why not mess with him.

After you looked yourself over one last time in the mirror you made your way downstairs where Jack sat with Ace.

Ace looked up upon hearing the sound of heels clicking on Jack’s black and white marble floors he practically spit out his food seeing you in your outside and quickly covered his eyes.

“What are you doing?” Jack laughed not bothering to look behind him just yet. “Uh covering my eyes have you seen what your girlfriend is wearing? I don’t think I should be seeing all of that.”

Jack looked at his with a raised brow and turned around in his chair and gasped seeing you in your outfit and seeing that your hair and make up was done. “Where are you going?” He suspiciously asked.

“I have a job interview silly remember I told you I’ve been applying for jobs all day.” You told him.

He looked at the clock on the wall and then back at you and then back at the clock and back at you again, his jaw hanging slightly. “It’s ten at night where the fuck are you going?”

Ace laughed with his hands still covered making you giggled. “Jack!” You laughed. “Watch your language! And I have a job interview at the club downtown.”

He was at a loss of words he didn’t know what to do or what to say. “What job because your outfit is giving street walker.” He said. “I have an interview to be a bottle service girl duh!” You said.

“Aren’t you happy for me?” You said. “That way if I become a bottle service girl I can give you a little club experience at home.” You stated.

“I don’t think he’s too thrilled for this job Y/N.” Ace said and Jack nodded his head in agreement even though Ace couldn’t see him.

“Yeah you aren’t about to go out and be no bottle service girl even though a job is a job and I won’t down talk anyone for making money but you’re MY girl and MY girl won’t be holding bottles in the air and showing off everything her mama gave her.” He preached.

“Amen I know that’s right Jack you better tell her.” Ace stated. “Shut up Ace.” He said. “Okay.”

“Jack! Don’t be a party pooper like Urban is letting Annie do it so why can’t I!? I wanna be a bottle service girl you know how much money I can make in a night?” You beamed with excitement.

“You know how much money I can make within seconds.” He mimicked you. “Like Annie is on her way over here right now when she gets here you can talk to Urban and I bet he’s okay with it.”

“Yeah okay we’re gonna see and if he says no she can’t do it or even if she can go well I’m sorry but you’ll be marching your ass back upstairs.” He said.

“Well in the meantime can I practice for you?” You asked him. “Sure babe go ahead.” He swear his eyes were twitching the entire time you were practicing.

Before you started practicing he had you put on one of his shirts and boxers till Annie arrived so Ace could remove his hands from his eyes.

“How are we feeling tonight guys!!” You faked cheered as you held up two bottles of sparkling apple cider since Jack didn’t drink. “We’re doing good!!” Ace cheered and clapped his hands as you poured the drinks.

“Really Ace?” Jack glared at his friend as he encouraged your behavior. “Wait? I thought we were all playing a role here? Don’t you want her to get the job.” He said.

“No, I don’t she doesn’t need a job.” Jack said. “But I wanna be a bottle service girl baby so please play your part.” You said.

“Look I get it a job is a job and you gotta do whatever you can to get money but I don’t want my girl out there showing ass and shit to everyone.”

Jack wasn’t one to judge he understood the price of everything he was going up but with his career and his lifestyle he’s seen first hand how most bottle girls in the club get treated.

And you were his woman he didn’t want anything bad happening to you because that would hurt him forever.

Jack stated as he emphasized the you in his sentence. “Oh but I am.” You lied and faked yawned to hide your smirk. “Oh but you aren’t sorry but not sorry.” Jack stood up when he heard the door opening.

“Annie is here!” You smiled and ran over to her and Jack had to do a double look at her outside seeing she was in a similar outfit to you. “Are you ready?” She asked you.

“I sure am!” You grinned and went to grab your purse but Jack quickly snatched it and tossed it to Ace. “Jack.” You whined and stomped your foot.

“Oh come on Jack she’s gonna be making money real quick and I know she’ll get big tips like I can’t do it alone.” He squinted his eyes at the mention of big tips.

“Big tips from who? Thirsty ass guys? I think NOT! Call Urban now I need to talk to him.” Annie pulled out her phone and within a second Urban answered.

“Hello?” His voice came from the speaker of the phone. “It’s Jack, yeah so you’re okay with Annie being a bottle service girl?” He said.

“Yeah I mean why not she’s making money and it’s what she wants to do so why not.” Urban expressed. “You’re kidding Urban did you see what she had on?”

Jack felt as if he was in sort of alternate universe or something because nothing felt real, maybe he was day dreaming or something he didn’t know but what did he know was that you weren’t going out.

“I did see and I don’t mind because at the end of the day she’s coming home with me besides it’s not like she’s some type of stripper she’s just shaking bottles all night.” You smirked.

“My point exactly and weren’t you the one that sang about catching a vibe with the bottle girl? So I’ll be your lil bottle girl that you can catch a vibe with.” You stated.

“You know what.” He huffed and tossed his hands up in the air in defeat. “Fine go do whatever you want but I’m washing my hands of you.” He acted like he was washing his hands before storming up the stairs.

When he was out of sight you quickly high waved Annie as the two of you giggled. “Got him once again.” You smirked. “But let me go apologize to my big baby.”

Ace shook his head at Annie and You. “You two are evil you know that?” He said.

“Whatever, but I do think it’s best if you guys leave I’m about to make this up to Jack in a way that you both don’t wanna witness.” You wiggled your eyebrows at Annie and she quickly grabbed her purse and Ace and left.

“Jack!! Baby it was a prank.” You yelled upstairs and quickly made your way up them to go apologize to your man.

writers block as been winning big time but I promise I’ll start putting out more things this month!

[dollysilena]

brother’s best friend!eren x kirstein!reader

warnings/notes: college au, suggestive themes but nothing explicit (maybe will be if i make this into a series), eren is a huge flirt and ur shy, unedited ngl bc i wrote this on my phone in bed half asleep, 1k

(18+) MINORS/BLANK/AGELESS BLOGS DO NOT INTERACT.

© ALL CONTENT BELONGS TO DOLLYSILENA 2023. DO NOT MODIFY OR REPOST.

brother’s best friend!eren who first hears about you from jean, your older brother by two years. he overhears jean talking with you over facetime as he congratulates you on committing to their same university.

brother’s best friend!eren who raises an eyebrow at jean because he’s barely mentioned you before besides in passing. infact, he realizes he doesn’t even know what you look like besides for the few childhood photos jean keeps above his desk, which aren’t very telling as of present. he barely catches a glimpse of you on jean’s phone beside him, but from what he could see, you were much cuter than your irritating brother. (yet, he still hangs out with him everyday.)

brother’s best friend!eren who asks jean when the call ends why he’s never met you. he recalls how you’ve barely ever come up to visit besides the occasional trip with your parents. a few times, their friends had even extended invitations out for you to come join them to hang out whenever jean mentions you’re in town, but jean had always adamantly refused on your behalf. jean scoffs and says something along the lines of, “he’d rather die than let his scumbags friends be around his baby sister, especially you, yeager.”

brother’s best friend!eren who finds it amusing how overprotective jean is over you and it makes him all the more interested. you can’t help but pique his curiosity.

brother’s best friend!eren who eventually forgets about jean’s mysterious little sister until a few months pass and the following school year rolls around. jean begrudgingly asks their friend group if they would be willing to help you move into your dorm since your parents couldn’t make it last second and you would need the extra hands. connie and armin, always so friendly, agree. eren, who of course is as chivalrous as the others, or so he claims, couldn’t help but feel the same interest take over from months before. he agrees as well.

brother’s best friend!eren who has to listen to jean give the stereotypical big brother speech during the drive to meet you at your dorm. he rambles on about how you’re “absolutely off limits” and “you’re dead meat if you even think about laying a finger on her!” he can’t help but notice jean glaring at him in particular through the rear-view mirror.

brother’s best friend!eren who first meets you on move-in day outside your dorm next to a moving truck, with a massive moving box blocking your elusive face. you stammer out a quick greeting to everyone, eren barely hearing your sheepish voice from behind the cardboard. it was apparent you were struggling with the box in your hands. he chuckles and tells you to hand it over, that’s what he was there to do after all. you graciously pass it to him, and he finally gets to see the girl he’s been so curious of for the past few months.

brother’s best friend!eren who immediately thinks you’re a pretty little thing, and can’t help but be smitten with your bashful eyes and smile. your hands nervously toy with the hem of your dress, and he can’t help but take note of the blush barely dusting your cheeks. jean, ever so observant, barks at eren to get moving. “these boxes aren’t gonna move themselves!” he claims, but eren knows it’s a ploy to get him away from his beloved little sister.

brother’s best friend!eren who notices you trailing after him and the boys as they take your belongings from the car up to your room.

“something the matter?” armin asks looking up at you, hoisting up a box from the trunk. you stand sheepishly off to the side, seeming like you were waiting to ask something.

“is there anything i can do?” you question with a frown. “i can’t let you guys do all the work.”

“‘course you can!” connie chuckles, going to ruffle your hair. “what’s the point of having five guys here if not to do the grunt work?”

“don’t worry your pretty little head ‘bout it,” eren comments, and you immediately clam up and he smirks at your fluster.

“paws off you three!” jean shouts. he’s practically smoking from the ears.

brother’s best friend!eren who can’t wait to talk to you again, so when jean and the others aren’t paying attention, he sneaks up to your room where you were waiting. you were already unpacking all your things, and he takes note of the adorable knickknacks already strewn over your desk, colorful stationery, and even the few stuffed animals adorning your now-made pink bed. you were perched on your tippy toes, trying to place a hello kitty plush ontop a shelf too high for you to reach. he tries to ignore the way the skirt of your dress barely skims the edge of your underwear. (pink, he thinks.) he immediately goes over, and grabs your waist so you don’t stumble and grabs the plushie out of your hand.

“here, let me do it,” he states simply, setting it ontop the shelf. he doesn’t bother to remove his hand from your waist.

brother’s best friend!eren who doesn’t even have to look down at your much smaller frame to know he’s got you flustered again. admittedly, he finds it cute how quickly you get nervous around him. it makes him wonder how fast he can make you melt. (little does he know, you’re already putty in his hands.)

brother’s best friend!eren who immediately grabs one of your colorful gel pens off your desk and a sticky note and scribbles something down. you look at him through fluttering eyelashes with a confused expression.

“you call me when you need help with stuff like this, yeah?” he offers, slipping the sticky note in your hand. it wasn’t until you look at it that you realize it’s his number.

“stuff like what?” you question as you look up at him, and he can’t help but notice small cheerful smile threatening to break on your glossy lips.

“whatever you want, pretty girl.”

brother’s best friend!eren who walks out of your room with an undeniable smirk, leaving you dumfounded, and with a new contact for your phone.

do we want this as like a blurb series?? lmk, and feel free to shoot ideas/thoughtz in my inbox hehe

[sashi-ya]

𝐆𝐥𝐨𝐰 ๋࣭ ⭑ Trafalgar Law x gn! reader . sweet scenario

✦ requested by @owlight : Heyy if requests still open🫶😔 may I please request law's partner brushing his hair and doing whole skincare routine together 😔🫶just cute nightly routine nd he is very in love nd all ,thank u ,hope u staying hydrated bbg ➜ of course my love!! enjoy! ✦ tw: nothing. completely sfw. a sweet scenario of reader taking care of law and both sharing skincare and a soft night. I actually know almost nothing about skincare so sorry if there are any mistake. ✦ wc: 804 ✦ masterlist

“Your hair is getting a little longer, Law” you whisper, while the soft spikes of his onyx strands tangle in your fingers.

The doctor tilts his head to the side and slightly back. He enjoys the way your massages feel on his scalp, specially those near his nape. With a subtle moan and his eyes closed he says;  “I should ask Shachi to cut it for me…”

You don’t have an urgency on him cutting it. In fact, you wonder how he would look like with longer hair. Probably as handsome as always.

“You don’t have to; let it grow if you want… I love brushing it for you~” you purr, taking the brush you use for him. There is something interesting and so beautiful in taking care of him that you enjoy wholeheartedly.

Delicate strokes straighten up his subtly rebellious hair; the brush slides easily through it. You can see Law’s relaxed frown through the tiny rectangular mirror of the Polar Tang’s main bathroom. Law seems to be pleased with the simple massage of the bristles, as it helps him ease away the stress from the day. Being the captain, doctor -and big brother – of the Heart Pirates isn’t easy.

When you are finally finished, and Law begins to long for the sensation, he traps your hands that remain over his shoulders. Pulling slowly down, your palms reach for his chest as he has you trapped. Your chin on the crook of his neck, and the image in the mirror of a tired but in love couple.

“Thank you, (Name)-ya” he sincerely appreciates everything you do. Is not just the fact of you brushing his hair, but all the things you do for him on a daily basis.

A smile garnishes your lips, slowly blinking you rest your chest against his back. “You are welcome, my love” you mumble, placing after a candied peck on his cheek. A kiss that makes -still- Law’s caramel cheeks turn a little pink.

He helps you turn around, as he is sitting on a little stool in front of the sink. “Come’ere” he sighs, always holding one of your hand as you straddle on his lap. Law’s long legs are enough for you to sit and make your own legs hang without touching the ground beneath.

“Let me help you with your skincare” he murmurs, even now, after so many months together he still struggles to communicate his clear intentions when it comes to do something with you.

You look at him with a tilted head and a big smile. This has to be the sweetest thing he could have said in some days. “Really? That means I can do yours too?” you chime, extra excited.

Perhaps, Law wasn’t thinking about  getting green clay plastered on his face for twenty minutes or so, but he couldn’t say no when your enthusiasm lights up the whole room.

“Yeah…” he sighs, offering you a sweet little curl on the commissure of his lips.

You stretch to grab your bag. A bag that he lets you keep in his bathroom, as well as your toothbrush. Inside, after scrutinizing you pick random products you only know their especial traits and uses.

“Here, first this one here” you tell him, putting some drops on your hand of a rather shiny and sweet-smelling product.

Law looks at that liquid suspiciously but nevertheless allows you to smear it on his cheekbones. You begin massaging them with utmost care, feeling the bumps of his skin on your fingertips. His golden orbs fix in your eyelashes while you make sure every trace of product gets absorbed.

“Good, now you try. Give me your hands” you request, ready to press the little dropper again. Law nods and lends his fingers to you to catch the oily substance on them.

He takes his time to place it with pure love on your face, also massaging so softly it almost feels like silk slipping through your skin. And those motions are, maybe, no other than a beautiful metaphor of how gentle your love is with the other…

Three serums, a couple of creams and one facemask after, you two are finally ready. He laughed from the moisturizer blob he left on the tip of your nose and you by the way his face looked covered in green tea paste.

“Your skin glows!” you chime, moving slightly to the side so that he could see himself on the mirror.

“Is not the creams, is you…” he murmurs, so low that you can barely listen to that. That’s not how he is, or at least, is not something you could catch him telling you so openly.

You giggle, kissing his forehead. “You are so right… Let’s go to sleep, it’s been a long day”

He hums, lifting you up from his lap as he does too. Your legs around his waist, your arms on his shoulders. Walking through the tiny door of his bathroom, he turns the light off with his elbow and soon both flop into bed…

“Goodnight, (Name)-ya” he whispers, nuzzled in the crown of your head. “Goodnight, love… love you” you purr, cheek pressed on his tattooed chest.

[miserable-sarah]

The Date

Pairings: Sam x Reader warnings: None Requested: Hello! Your fanfics are sensational and I get lost in your stories, especially Sam's. I would like to ask for a story inspired by dandelions song between Sam Winchester x reader, very cute and romantic.

~

You look at yourself in the mirror for the 10th time, you fix your dress, you fluff your hair, you stand there and practice your smile. You don't like the way your hair looks, you think your make up could look better. You sigh and flop on the bed.

"You look fine!" Cas whines. You have him 'trapped' in your room so he can tell you if you need to change anything but he's getting annoyed because you don't believe him anyway.

"Sam told me to dress nice." You tell Cas, you sigh again getting off the bed. Cas grabs your hands.

"Y/n, you look perfect. I promise."

"Thanks Cas." You smile at him "You can leave if you want." You giggle. Cas leaves the room, you look at yourself again and take a deep breath. You're not sure what Sam has planned your dates are usually casual sometimes when it's an important date they're a little fancier. You walk downstairs, you see Dean and Cas sitting down at the table talking about whatever.

"You look great!" Dean says smiling.

"Did Cas tell you to say that?" You smirk at him.

"Wh-what!? Of course not!" Dean chuckles

"Okay." You tease "Thank you."

"Sam gave me this." Dean hands you a letter, you look at it confused and open it. 'Meet me at the first spot I laid eyes on you.' You smiled to yourself knowing where to go.

"I'll take you." Dean says hoping out of his chair walking up the stairs, you follow behind him.

"We have to go to the beach." You say getting butterflies. "So, what's he planning?" You ask Dean. You know Sam is up to something and you know Dean knows.

"I don't know." Dean says quickly not moving his eyes from the road.

"Dean.. I know you know."

"No, no I don't." He says matter of factly.

"you're not going to tell me?"

"I wouldn't even be able to if I wanted because I don't know."

"Fine." You cross your arms. You're not against surprises you love them, it's just you're so nervous and you don't know why. Sam is the best boyfriend you've ever had, he cares for you deeply, he pays attention, he helps you when you're down, he cheers you up, he makes your days so much brighter, he is your forever. You honestly don't know where you'd be without which scares you but makes you feel safer with him. You know he would never do anything to hurt you. You can't believe how lucky you got, someone was listening to your wishes.

"We're here." Dean stops with a huge smile. When you get out of the car your body is shaking you're so nervous. You don't even know why. You can see lights lighting up the walkway, you smile at how beautiful they are. You slowly walk down a few stairs and walk on the path, you see rose petals spread out everywhere, you can't help the big smile on your face, your heart is pounding in your ears.

You see Sam standing by the beach with flowers in his hand, theres a table set up in the sand with champagne waiting to be popped. You can hear Dandelions by Ruth B. being played in the background. You smile and walk towards him.

(Song)

"Sam, this is wow." You say not even having words. You gasp loudly when you see Sam get down on one knee.

"Y/n Y/L/N" He starts, he pulls out a little black box "I saw you here 2 years ago, the moment I saw you I knew I wanted you to be mine. I knew I had to have you. I got so shy walking up to you I stuttered just saying hello." You both giggle. "The look in your eyes when you saw me, it was nothing I've ever seen. From that day we've been best friends, unfortunately I was scared because of my job and that held me back, but you reassured me you'd be fine by tactling me to the ground." You laugh again. "And at that moment I knew I wanted you for the rest of my life, I knew you were the one for me, I knew I'd be forever happy with you in my life so," He opens the box revealing a beautiful ring inside. "Y/n, will you please marry me?"

Your hand is covering your mouth, you have tears flowing down your cheeks. "Yes! Yes!" You squeal with excitement. Same carefully places the ring on your finger you can hear Dean and Cas cheering in the background, he hugs you tightly swirling you around.

"I can't believe we're engaged!" You kiss him, he kisses you back passionately. "I love you so much, Sam."

"I love you more than words can describe." Sam pops the champagne and hands you a glass. "To the future Mrs. Winchester!" Dean joins in on the toast. You smile to yourself just think how lucky you really are. You are going to marry Sam Winchester.

[syoish-aot]

I FOUND YOU [completed Ao3 version]

words: 15k rating: T (language and implied sexual content)

eren/reader

reincarnation

post canon

modern setting

past eremika (but no love triangle)

plot twist

((reposting the edited & completed version of this fic so I also have it on tumblr! It's also available on Ao3! The rough draft version of this fic is still up, but this version is a lot better.))

The last thing Eren remembered was the chaste press of Mikasa's lips against his as the world faded into nothing.

The first thing Eren felt was the ticklish brush of your lips against his as the world came back into view.

He had died. Just like he was supposed to. So then…

…why was he still alive?

OR - After being killed to stop the rumbling, Eren wakes up in the modern world disoriented and confused. Confused about where he was. Confused about how he was alive. And, most importantly, confused about you- his (supposed) girlfriend of six years that he has no memory of whatsoever.

CHAPTER 1: In a Quaint Apartment

A Quaint Apartment

The last thing Eren remembered was the chaste press of Mikasa's lips against his as the world faded into nothing.

The first thing Eren felt was the ticklish brush of your lips against his as the world came back into view.

He had died. 

He knew he had died because that had been the whole point of everything. Of almost destroying the world. Of almost killing everyone. Of his plan that painted a group of Eldian Devils as heroes so Paradis could finally have a chance at peace. 

He. Had. Died.

Just like he was supposed to. So then…

     …why was he still alive?

Eren didn't want to open his eyes, not yet anyway, so he didn't.

Instead, he lay there against the bed- a bed so much softer than any he'd ever had the pleasure of laying in after years and years of fighting.

He couldn't remember the last time he hadn’t woken up sore. Realistically, it probably hadn’t been since he was a little kid, still ignorant to the truth of the world.

But right now he wasn't sore. Right now he was in a soft bed and the lips that had been against his had long since pulled away as the person they belonged to began rummaging around on the other side of the room.

Was it Mikasa? Would he open his eyes and be in that cabin he had created, just for the two of them?

If he didn't open his eyes then he could pretend that's what it was. If he didn't open his eyes he could be anywhere…

But then-

"Eren." A soft voice laughed from the other side of the room.

It wasn't a voice he recognized.

You looked over at your boyfriend who was still lying shirtless in bed even though it was well past eleven. It might have been a Saturday, but the two of you had plans and you'd agreed the night before that you wouldn't give them up to spend the whole day lazing around your apartment wrapped up in each other (as wonderful as that sounded right now, especially with how dreamy he looked with his face relaxed in blissful peace and his hair splayed out across the pillo- No no no no no- NO DISTRACTIONS!)

You watched his eyelids twitch, which normally meant he was pretending to be asleep so he didn’t have to get up.

That jerk.

You turned back to the mirror in front of you and continued to put in your earrings before standing back to flatten out your cocktail dress. 

It was a simple dress, but still one of your favourites. Form-fitting and long-sleeved with soft dark blue fabric that cut off mid-thigh. It always made you feel mature- which was something you figured you should already feel in your mid-twenties but-... but honestly you normally feel more like a teenager playing pretend than a real adult.

Speaking of playing pretend: 

“Eren, seriously,” you laughed again as you crossed the room. “We have to leave in forty-five minutes and you need to take a shower.” You told him as you crawled back into bed to straddle him. You leaned forward, placing your hands against the pillow on either side of his head. Your lips ghosted over the shell of his ear. “When we get back home we can do that thing you like~ and if you get up now I’ll even let you-”

Suddenly you were flipped.

Eren pinned you against the mattress with your hand painfully pressed against your back. 

“E-Eren!” You exclaimed as your shoulder strained, wrist no doubt bruising against his tight grip. 

He’d done this to you before- playfully, with less strain against your arm and when you were in the mood to get a little freaky but right now this- this wasn't that. This was something else.

And that was confirmed when he finally spoke, adding a slight pressure to your arm which left you hissing in pain:

His tone was harsh, dark, vastly different from his usual lighthearted teasing. “Who the hell are you?”

It was your boyfriend behind you, you knew it was your boyfriend.

But at the same time, it was a total stranger.

Eren stared down at you, heart hammering against his chest in a mix of anxiety and confusion.

How the hell did you know who he was, but he has no memory of you? Or this bed? Or this room? Or anything besides Mikasa’s blade against his throat and the tears lining her eyes. 

You were trembling below him, clearly terrified, indicating that you’re equally clearly not a threat. 

He wasn't sure what was going on, but he didn't want to do anything rash and complicate things further. 

So he let you go.

“Sorry,” he mumbled as he pulled away and sat on the edge of the bed.

Immediately you sat up and turned towards him. “Are you okay?” You asked with eyes wide and clear concern splashed across your face.

For some reason, it caused Eren’s stomach to twist uncomfortably. He said nothing.

“Did you have another nightmare?” You asked softly.

The way you said it indicated that this may be a common occurrence. So Eren lied: “Yes,” he answered. “Sorry. Guess it freaked me out a bit.”

You gave him a comforting smile and, again, it caused his stomach to twist.

“Don’t worry about it,” you said softly. “You’re awake now, right? So everything’s okay.” You leaned forward to kiss his cheek before pulling yourself out of bed. “Armin said we needed to be at the banquet hall at one.”

“Armin?” Eren quickly asked.

You couldn't help but laugh at the way Eren looked at you. His eyes were wide, eyebrows raised, lips parted just slightly as he sucked in a breath. “Yeah, Armin, ” you confirmed, “and everyone else.”

“Who else?”

You sighed. “Eren, you really need to get better at remembering the plans we make.”

“Who’s going to be there?” Eren repeated, ignoring your comment.

You laughed as you stood so you could cross the room to finish putting on your makeup in front of the large mirror next to your dresser.

“Besides you, me, and Armin, Niccolo obviously . I’m still surprised he managed to plan the whole thing.” You joked as you started on your eyeliner. “Reiner, Bertholdt, Annie, and Marco for sure because they’re reliable when it comes to keeping plans. Historia texted me yesterday and said Ymir didn’t want to come because apparently she and Reiner still aren’t over that fight they had last week. Oh my god speaking of that fight, did you know that they put it on pause to go get beers together at Maria’s? Literally just went ‘I hate you but we have to watch this game together so we’ll be friends for a night and then go back to our bullshit’. Honestly, I commend them for being able to do that,” you laughed. “Anyway, if Historia is set on coming, Ymir will still show up and we can see that drama unfold in real time. Sasha will be there for the food, Pieck will be there for the booze, Porco will be there for the Pieck being there for the booze which means obviously Jean’s going to be there because of that weird love triangle thing they still have going on. Oh speaking of Jean: you better behave. Connie, duh! And Mikasa’s flight gets in at-”

“Mikasa’s going to be there?” There was something to the way he said it. With a strange… hope in his tone. It left you confused.

“Yes?” you answered. Or maybe you were asking, you honestly weren't too sure. “Didn’t she call you to talk about it literally last night?” He was still staring at you but you shrugged and turned back to the mirror. “Now get your perfectly sculpted ass out of bed so you can get ready or we’ll be late.”

Without saying another word, Eren stood up and left the bedroom.

If you hadn’t known any better, you would have thought he hesitated at the door to glance around the apartment as if he wasn’t sure where he was going.

But you and Eren had been living there together for over a year.

So it wouldn’t make sense for him to be confused.

It wouldn’t make sense at all…

Eren fumbled his way through getting ready. He tried his best not to talk to you because talking to you was… confusing.

Anytime you were too close to him or your eyes met in a specific way, his stomach would erupt into butterflies as his heart felt like it began beating ten times faster.

It was a purely physical reaction to your closeness and it was- it was… odd. 

To say the least.

It felt like his head and his body had different ideas of who you were. 

In his head: you were a stranger. Someone whose name he could barely remember (and had almost forgotten several times). You were confusing, potentially dangerous, but obviously some sort of key to figuring out what was going on; which became especially apparent as you rattled off the names of almost everyone he knew.

In his body: you were everything. You were someone that left him with an intense desire to touch. To feel. To be around. His body pulled him towards you at every opportunity it got, sometimes even to the point that he had to physically stop himself from reaching out to take your hand, grabbing you by the wrist- kissing you. And every time it happened he could recall what it would feel like to follow through with those motions. Somehow he knew the warmth of your lips on his, your body flush against his, your fingers curling into his palm- fitting so perfectly, like your hand was meant to be there. Instinct. His reaction to your presence was pure instinct.

And he had no idea what to make of it.

But when you’d told him that the two of you were meant to be somewhere and rattled off names of people he knew (and not in the way that he “knew” you, these were people he actually knew), he hoped that talking to them would clear things up.

So, he spent the morning playing the part. Doing what you told him to. Following you around the strange apartment that the two of you, apparently, called home.

He didn’t want to alert suspicion, not yet.

Especially when you said Mikasa’s name and his stomach sank.

“There.” You said with a smile as you finished knotting Eren's tie and pulled it perfectly tight against his neck. Your hands moved to his shoulders, flattening out his dress shirt. 

              Who were you?

    Who were you?

                     Who were you?

It was all Eren could think as you smiled at him and his whole body felt like it was on fire.

Who were you?

A Restaurant Downtown

“Eren’s acting weird today.” You told Jean with a short sigh as you stared down at your drink, swirling the vodka concoction that Connie had shoved into your hand the second you entered Niccolo’s restaurant.

Today was the soft opening and Niccolo had invited all of his friends to give the menu a try before the grand opening in just five short days.

Which, to your friends, meant an excuse to eat good food and get day drunk.

None of them would have missed out on that.

The bar was right in the middle of downtown, split into two levels with a more fancy dining area and a patio upstairs, and the casual bar on the lower level. Niccolo had been working for years to open it, and everyone was beyond excited that his dream had finally come true.

You wished you were more in the mood to celebrate and you figured you would have been if it weren’t for well…

“He’s always weird.” Jean dismissed with an entertained short at his own joke before he took another sip of his beer and leaned against the bar.

“I’m being serious.” You said.

“So am I.” Jean shrugged.

When you didn’t reply to the obvious ribbing from your friend (something that would normally get the two of you caught up in at least five minutes of back-and-forth banter), he looked over at you. When you still didn’t say anything, he cleared his throat. “What uh-- What happened?” He asked.

You sighed. “I think he had another nightmare that really fucked him up he-” you hesitated as you chewed nervously at your bottom lip before continuing on, “he completely forgot about the soft open and the whole drive here he was just staring out the window, being all quiet and mysterious. He’s been raving about today for months and now it’s like he completely forgot it was even happening. It’s just-... it’s reminding me of third year, I guess.”

“What do you mean?”

You began fiddling with the sleeve of your dress. “Remember that morning he had just disappeared?”

It was back when most of your friend group was still in university. Back then, Eren and Armin were sharing a dorm and one night Eren vanished. All day, no one knew where he was. He’d left his phone, keys, and wallet at home and hadn’t told anyone where he was going. He’d missed class, practice, and the plans the two of you had made to meet up for lunch.

You were ready to put in a missing persons report when that evening he just-… came back.

Around 7 pm.

Waltzing into his dorm acting completely normally. 

He said he needed some time away from everyone to think about something, but as he said it he had this look in his eyes. A look that you… couldn’t make sense of.

The same look he’d had only a few hours ago; after he released you from where he’d pinned you to your bed.

“Yeah...” Jean agreed as his fingers drummed against the side of his glass.

You looked up from your glass, eyes immediately falling to your boyfriend on the other side of the restaurant. The moment you’d arrived he’d run off to find Armin and they’d remained wrapped up in conversation ever since.

“All morning he was so stiff and awkward. He said it was just a bad dream messing with his head but he-... he didn’t know who I was, Jean.” You took in a breath, “but he knew who Armin was. And you. Sasha, Connie, Reiner, Annie, Mikasa, Marco, Ymir- literally everyone but me and I-”

That’s when Jean began choking on his drink.

“Jean!” You exclaimed as you grabbed his beer and placed it on the bar behind you before patting his back.

“It’s-” he managed before another cough, “it’s nothing!” he coughed again. “B-Bye--” Jean stuttered as he pushed away from the bar, still trying to clear his throat through a breathy gasp of: “Armin-”

You were left alone at the bar with only Jean’s beer for company as you watched him shove through your group of friends.

Somehow, it left you even more confused than ever.

Your eyes scanned the restaurant.

And Eren was nowhere to be found.

Armin looked different than he had before.

Sure, he still had the same blonde hair and wide blue eyes; but the way he was looking at Eren reminded him of the little boy in Shiganshina, wishfully rattling off facts about the outside world.

There was life to him, Eren realized in an instant.

There was life.

“Eren,” Armin laughed. “You’re spacey today.”

“Sorry…” Eren mumbled, unable to look away from his best friend as he recalled the last time he’d seen him: when they’d sat together in a pool of blood and Armin held him tightly, crying about how they were both irredeemable monsters.

“What’s that look for?” Armin asked him with another laugh.

“You’re… You’re here,” was all Eren managed to say. 

“Oh no.” Armin sighed. “Did you already get to the champagne? It’s barely even two in the afternoo-”

“Where’s Mikasa?” Eren suddenly asked. He hadn’t seen her yet.

He had seen plenty of other people he knew, which made him do a double take as he entered the restaurant and everyone greeted him like nothing was wrong.

Like hadn’t killed 80% of humanity and led to the deaths of plenty of the people in the large restaurant.

Like he was meant to just be here at some--... some party or something.

((Honestly Eren wasn’t sure what the event was; but that wasn’t important, what was important was finding Mikasa.))

“Eren are you feeling alright?” Armin asked, pulling Eren out of his thoughts.

“Where are we, Armin?” He asked bluntly.

“Um… fourth and center street?”

“No. I mean-...” Eren looked away from the restaurant and back at his best friend. “We said we’d-... you and I-- we promised. We promised we’d meet in hell. Is that where we are? Are we... Armin, are we in hell?”

Armin’s eyes widened as the playful brightness in them completely vanished. “Eren you-”

“Armin!” Suddenly Jean was at his side, he grabbed Armin by the shoulders and shook him. “It’s Eren he’s-- he’s--”

Armin finished Jean’s sentence for him as both of their eyes fell to their friend:

“Eren’s awake.”

CHAPTER 2: In a Bathroom Stall

A Bathroom with Impeccable Ambiance

“The fuck do you mean ‘awake’?” Eren demanded as Jean and Armin shoved him into the bathroom.

“Eren it’s-- um…” Armin stuttered in a hushed tone so they wouldn’t be overheard. He began to fiddle with his hands before he turned to Jean. “Y-You should-”

“Already did it.” Jean interrupted as he looked up from his phone before sliding it into his back pocket.

Eren scowled. “Did wha-” 

Suddenly the door burst open. “I JUST GOT JEAN’S TEXT IS EREN REALLY--” Connie cut himself off as he stood in the doorway- eyes wide, face flushed, staring right at Eren. “...holy shit…” he mumbled.

Eren continued to scowl, still extremely confused.

“Move! Move! Move!!” Sasha pushed past him, causing Connie to stumble fully into the bathroom. “I knew it would happen soon! I fucking knew it!! I have a sense for these sorts of things you know! It was the same thing when Jean woke up. I had been craving baked potatoes for weeks and then-”

“Sasha, calm down.” Armin cut her off. “We don’t want to overwhelm him, alright?”

“Overwhelm me with what!?” Eren exclaimed. “Seriously what the hell is-”

“What’s the last thing you remember, Eren?” Armin asked as he placed his hands on Eren’s shoulders and forced his friend to look at him.

Eren’s stomach sank as the memories flooded his vision. Smoke. The stomping of footsteps. Screaming from the people below him. A blade drawn with lightning-quick speed.

Falling.

And then nothing.

“I--...” Eren pushed Armin’s hands away as he took a step back.

The walls suddenly felt so close.

His lungs suddenly felt so tight. 

Eren's gaze fell to the floor, unable to meet the eyes of the people he had betrayed, especially when they were all looking at him with such awe and-- and hope.

“My plan worked,” Eren mumbled in a hushed tone that carried the weight of what he was confessing to. “I remember-- I remember everything.” His throat constricted. “Everything I did. Everything I forced all of you to do because of it-- all those people I killed and-”

“Eren.”

Armin pulled him into a hug, holding him as tightly as he had the last time they’d seen each other. It felt like that. Just like that. But also-

               …also nothing like that at all.

“It’s alright now,” Armin told him. “None of that matters anymore.”

Eren scoffed. “How can it not matter?”

“Because none of that happened here,” Armin told him. “We don’t-...” he sighed and pulled away to meet Eren's eyes again. “We don’t really get it either, but for some reason after living our lives there, we all woke up here.”

“But…” Eren practically whispered. “...but where is here?”

Armin smiled. “Here is where everyone’s okay. Where we’re all together and we don’t have to worry about war or titans or death or anything like that. Here we can just-...” Amin’s smile widened, He looked so relieved as he finished his words: “... here is where everyone can live, Eren.”

“Everyone?” Eren asked.

“Yeah,” Armin replied. “Everyone.”

Eren’s eyes moved from Armin to Jean. To Sasha. To Connie. To the door.

Outside of the room, there were more people. More people he knew from his other life that had somehow ended up here (wherever “here” was). Everyone in the restaurant was someone he’d crossed at some point before; someone who, if what Armin was saying was correct, had memories of that life but understood it was different from where they were now.

Every single one of them.

Every single one except--

Eren scowled as he recalled watching you get ready that morning. Smiling and joking around as you filled him in on random gossip about people he knew as you talked about them like you knew them too. Which you did , apparently. For some reason, you knew them too.

Eren lips tightened together in a frustrated line before he took a quick breath and asked the question that had been plaguing him: “Then who’s-”

Suddenly the bathroom door burst open.

“There you guys are!” You exclaimed. “Not to ruin your secret bathroom meeting or anything, but Niccolo wants to make a toast.”

Your friends all looked like deer in headlights so you couldn’t help laughing in response. “What?” you asked.

Armin took a quick breath.

Sasha coughed.

Connie started picking something out from under his fingernails.

Jean fiddled with his tie.

Eren avoided your eyes, feeling unsettled by the idea of eye contact. The way everyone else was acting indicated that you didn’t know anything about this. About them. About how, apparently, all of them had wound up here like some sort of second chance at life. 

They couldn’t raise suspicion.

So Connie bravely broke the silence: “It’s um-- It’s Jean,” he stuttered. “He’s--... he’s constipated.”

Yeah.

Yeah, that wasn’t suspicious at all.

A Restaurant Downtown

“So… um, I guess that’s all I have to say,” Nicolo concluded his toast with an awkward laugh. “Thank you all for your support, even when that support-” he turned to Sasha, who was tucked under his arm and smiling up at her fiance as he addressed the room, “-sometimes means eating all of my imported truffles.”

“I told you that was an accident!” Sasha defended, playfully smacking him on the chest.

Niccolo laughed and kissed her forehead before everyone raised their glasses to cheers.

You grinned as you lowered your glass before taking a sip of your champagne. Which caused your nose to scrunch at the bitter taste. Wine had never been your thing.

You turned to Eren, who was standing next to you staring into his own glass. 

“Don’t tell me you’re already considering cutting yourself off,” you teased, “especially after last night when you were raving about how you were going to drink Jean under the table again.”

“Yeah..” Eren mumbled. “I um… yeah.”

Your smile slowly fell as you watched him. He looked so trapped in thought. Thoughts he would normally share with you, but for some reason he was holding himself back. You’d spent all morning trying to get into his head only to have him push you out.

Eren was right next to you.

But… he’d never felt so far away. 

“I don’t know what happened,” Eren told you when you were nineteen and he disappeared for an entire night.

“What do you mean?” You asked.

He shrugged as he poured himself a glass of water as he leaned against the kitchen counter. “I wanted to go for a walk, so I did and then- I dunno. Must have hit my head or something because I woke up back in bed.”

“Eren, you’re acting really casually about this. Maybe we should call your dad…”

You watched Eren’s body tense, just like it always did at the mention of Grisha Jaeger. 

He stared into his glass of water, getting lost in his own reflection. For a moment you didn’t recognize him. For a moment he was a stranger.

You didn’t know what else to say, so you said nothing.

Thankfully, after that, he bounced back. After that he was Eren.

Just Eren.

Until right now, six years later, when he wasn’t “Just Eren” at all.

When he was someone else. The same “someone else” that had gotten lost in the woods all those years ago.

On instinct, your hand crept from your side towards his. Eren jumped as your fingers brushed ever so gently against the back of his hand as if your touch was something intimidating as opposed to comforting.

You began to pull away, worried that you’d make things worse if you continued to push; but just as your fingers parted from his, his hand instantly reached out to take yours.

“Don’t.” He told you immediately, still staring into his untouched glass of champagne as a soft blush slowly rose against his cheeks. “I-...”

Eren’s heart hammered against his chest as you slowly returned his hold, curling your fingers around his.

He still didn’t know who you were but he knew this. He knew your hand in his and the way it made his whole body feel like it was on fire.

It was that feeling again. That feeling that his instincts knew who you were, but his memories had no idea.

And it was tearing him apart. Like two sides of him that refused to see eye to eye because they physically lacked the ability to do s-

“It’s alright, Eren.” Your gentle voice cut through his thoughts with a second, comforting squeeze of his hand. “I’m not going anywhere.”

For some reason, to Eren, those words made everything seem okay.

A Busy Street

Mikasa pulled herself into the taxi with a short sigh. Her flight hadn’t been long, but flying had always made her uncomfortable. The tight seats, the change in altitude, the sinking feeling in her stomach at takeoff and landing- she’d always hated all of it. It was worth it though.

It was worth it to be home.

A subtle smile tugged at her lips at the thought of seeing her friends again. She stared out the window and watched the city pass by in a blur, wrapped up in memories of growing up in the city.

Her phone buzzed in her pocket, momentarily distracting her.

Mikasa pulled her phone from her pocket and immediately clicked on the group chat notification.

She expected it to be Sasha asking how much longer she was going to take to get there. Instead, her eyes widened when she read two simple words:

CHAPTER 3: On a Rooftop at Sunset

When Eren Jaeger was fifteen he didn’t know much about love.

What he did know was a fierce desire to protect. To save. To help, not just his friends, but all of humanity regain the freedom taken from them by the titans.

And he also knew that Mikasa’s hair was very soft.

That her eyes were pretty.

That her skin looked warm.

That her lips, often hidden under the red scarf he had wrapped around her when they were children, distracted him from conversation more times than he could count.

But there was never time.  

The more they learned about the world- and the more Eren learned about himself in turn- the more that their lack of time became obvious to him.

He told himself it was for the better that he was never honest about his feelings. That he never properly answered her question:

“What am I to you, Eren?” She asked him the night they stood on the hill just outside of Liberio. 

What am I?

She was everything to him, is what he wanted to say; but- 

“you’re family,” is what he said instead.

Because he knew, Eren knew, that in that life they would never have enough time to be together.

So, when he woke up in a new life, his first thought was that maybe-... maybe this was his chance. 

But, when he opened his eyes, it wasn’t Mikasa he saw…

…when he opened his eyes, he found you instead.

A Restaurant Downtown

“Eren?” You asked, your hand still gently holding his, right after Niccolo concluded his toast. 

He heard your words, but he was too wrapped up in his own head to do anything with them. It was hard to believe that he’d only been conscious for a few hours and he’d already learned so much. Part of him still felt like he was trapped in some sort of weird life-flashing-before-his-eyes haze during his last moments of life. But.. how could that be the case if this wasn’t his life at all? 

So… he had to believe Armin, right? 

Believe him that this was real. That he was here. That this world wasn’t some strange fantasy and it actually was the second chance Armin had described. Somehow. 

Eren wanted to believe it, he really did; but there were still so many things that didn’t make sense. The biggest one being:

“Do you really… not know?” Eren asked, barely above a whisper as your fingers brushed against his.

“Not know what?” You asked with an awkward laugh.

A laugh that made his stomach flutter as two parts of him were suddenly at war, just like they had been all day.

He felt like he was being split in half. Not in a physical sense, but a mental one; as those two parts fought to tell him what to do.

One of them he recognized. Agreed with. Understood.

          You don’t owe her an explanation.

Was what that half said.

          Just leave.

But then there was the other half. The half that wanted to reach out to you and hold you. Kiss you. Hug you. The part that made his hand twitch at its side, like his body was being completely taken over by someone else.

          Talk to her.

That half said.

          She deserves to know.

Eren took a hesitant breath. “You don’t know that… that everyone except you is-”

“HEY GUYS WHAT’S UP!?!” Connie exclaimed, appearing out of thin air as he shoved between the two of you and wrapped his arms around your shoulders. Eren’s hand pulled away from yours. For some inexplicable reason he immediately missed the feeling of your palm against his.

“Um… nothing?” You awkwardly answered back.

“Cool, cool, cool right yeah- cool… Just wanted to make sure you guys were getting along,” he said as he eyed Eren, “not saying anything weird,” Eren scowled, “just being a normal boyfriend and girlfriend that have been dating for six years.”

Eren watched as you pushed Connie’s arm off your shoulder with a frustrated sigh. “Connie, are you drunk?”

“No no! I just… just didn’t want you guys to be alone for too long in case one of you says something strange and… and potentially life-altering that they shouldn’t be saying.”

Eren’s eyes narrowed.

Connie raised his eyebrows and looked from Eren to you, to Eren, to you, and back to Eren.

Very subtle, dumbass.

They were broken out of their staring contest when you interjected with: “Is this about Jean being constipated?” 

Connie took in a quick breath as his eyes went wide again. Eren could practically feel him debating how to answer. Eventually, he settled for a hesitant: “...yes…”

You sighed again. “In that case, I’d rather you keep your secrets.”

“Good,” Connie replied. “That’s what we should be doing, right Eren?”

“Why?” Eren asked.

“Because some people don’t need to know about Jean’s bowel movements.”

“But why not?” Eren asked for the second time. “Seems like it’d make things a lot easier if everyone knew.”

“Because, Eren. It sounds pretty crazy.”

“It is crazy.”

“Exactly,” Connie finished his sentence through gritted teeth: “so shut the hell up.”

“Wow, brownies!” You said, suddenly appearing between them (Eren hadn’t even noticed you leave). You shoved something into both of their mouths. “Can you guys stop being weird?”

Eren’s first instinct was to push you away, but the half of him that was adamant about not hurting you stopped him before he could.

And honestly? He was glad it had because:

  “...holy shit this is good…” He mumbled around whatever the hell you’d forced into his mouth.

It was sweet but salty. Gooey but crunchy. Warm but… cold?

What the fuck.

It was even better than that ice cream from Liberio.

“Jesus, Eren…”  He heard you mumble with another short laugh as you reached up and flicked a piece of brownie off the corner of his lips.

Your touch immediately caused his back to stiffen as he stopped chewing.

Those two parts of him were fighting again:

          Push her away. She’s dangerous.

And-

          Take her hand. Kiss her palm. Run your lips up her arm until Connie complains about too much PDA through fake vomit noises and tells you to get a room.

He felt like he’d seen that before. Done that before but--... he hadn’t. Eren knew he hadn’t.

He didn’t know how long he’d stood there, completely frozen; but apparently, it was long enough for even Connie to feel the awkward tension: 

“So Ymir and Reiner are at each other’s throats again!” He quickly said. “You should’a seen ‘em earlier! Historia had to shove them apart to keep them from getting into a fistfight! And the crazy thing is that if you ask either of them what they’re fighting about, no one can give you an answer. It’s like they’re so petty that they forgot why they were being petty in the first place!”

“That’s… That’s too bad.” You said softly as your arms wrapped around your chest, completely avoiding Eren’s eyes.

          Hug her. Make her feel better.

Why? Why did he want to do that?

          You don’t owe her anything. You don’t even know her.

Yeah. That made more sense. Right?

Connie cleared his throat. “Well… You know how they are right? I’m sure that soon enough they’ll be-”

“Hey guys,” Jean interrupted as he awkwardly walked towards the three of you. “Um-...” Eren’s heart immediately leapt into his throat, “Mikasa’s here.”

He stepped to the side and there she was, just like Jean had said.

This time, there was no mental war. 

Both sides of Eren were equally stunned.

“So Ymir and Reiner are at each other’s throats again!” Connie exclaimed, clearly trying to lighten whatever awkward tension surrounding you and Eren.

You appreciated him for trying, you really did, but you weren’t sure Connie was the one that would be able to fix this.

Honestly, you weren’t sure that anyone was.

Something had changed between you and Eren. Something you were completely unaware of, despite spending all afternoon trying to figure out.

It hurt.

The way he looked at you, the way he pulled away from your touch, the way he spoke to you in broken fragments of conversation- almost like he was forcing himself to reply.

What had you done wrong?

You had no idea.

“That’s… That’s too bad.” You replied as Connie finished his story.

But then:

“Mikasa’s here,” Jean said.

Your eyes widened as she offered a timid wave and a soft smile, looking nothing short of absolutely beautiful in the red dress that you’d helped her pick out on a video call a few days ago.

Ever since she had moved away six months ago, it felt like a piece of your friend group was missing. Like a piece of you was missing, honestly. But now she was back. 

Maybe things would be okay.

In an instant you jumped towards her, your best friend, wrapping your arms around her and holding her as tightly as you could. As if the harder you held her, the sooner everything would be fixed.

Mikasa didn’t hesitate before returning your hug, holding you so tightly against her that it confirmed she’d missed you just as much as you had missed her.

She was wearing the perfume you got her for Christmas.

You could already feel the mending of your nearly broken heart.

Eren was completely frozen. Unable to move. Barely able to even breathe .

He stared at Mikasa as you wrapped your arms around her, burying your face against her neck. Mikasa’s hand rested tenderly against the back of your head, holding you like you were something dangerously close to breaking.

Suddenly, his mind was a warzone:

          There she is!

Part of him yelled.

          There’s the woman you love!!

Mikasa’s eyes meet Eren’s from over your shoulder, causing him to somehow become even more petrified than before.

“Hey Eren,” she said as her hand ran up and down your back.

          Yeah, there she is.

The second part of him said. The part he didn’t recognize. The part that was directing his attention away from Mikasa and at you instead.

          Because she’s been there all day.

“Eren,” Mikasa said, breaking him out of his mental tug-of-war. “We should talk.”

A Rooftop Patio

Red flowers spilled from the hanging baskets attached to the wrought iron fence that wrapped around the patio.

Mikasa smiled as she leaned against the railing, running her fingers across their delicate petals.

From the other side of the patio, as if he was scared to get too close to her and destroy the beautiful image in front of him, Eren’s eyes followed her movements.

His breath came out in shallow exhales, watching the way the setting sun illuminated her features. 

She was so beautiful. She’d always been beautiful. No one could deny that.

Her hair (her long hair, he noted) framed her face and fell past her shoulders, tickling the straps of the red dress that wrapped perfectly around her figure. He hadn’t seen her in a dress since they were kids and it was never something so fancy. Somehow, it still suited her.

Or maybe it was this new life that suited her instead.

Eren could vividly recall the dozens of times that he’d watched Mikasa perform such a simple task as the mundane action always found a way to light a fire in the pit of his stomach. Cleaning her swords, adjusting her ODM straps, tinkering with her gas chamber- he’d watch her do it, admiring the way her fingers delicately held whatever tool or object she was using. But now, with her fingers wrapped softly around a beautiful flower, he felt-

He felt… 

Honestly, Eren wasn’t sure what he felt.

And not knowing that was nothing short of terrifying.

“So…” Mikasa started, cutting off his thoughts, “welcome to your new life.”

Eren shoved his hands into his pockets, unsure what else to do with them, as he looked away from her and swallowed a lump in his throat. “...yeah.” He replied.

Mikasa laughed to herself and looked up at the sky, admiring the way the sunset placed a silver glow around the fluffy clouds above. “You’re confused.”

“That’s putting it lightly.” Eren scoffed before he finally crossed the patio and joined her against the railing.

“We don’t really get it either, it just started to happen,” Mikasa told him. “It’s random, but everyone’s memories get triggered by something. For Armin, it was seeing the ocean for the first time. Jean’s came back at a farmer’s market. Connie remembered everything the day he met Sasha. And Sasha well-...” Mikasa laughed, “there’s a reason we still call her “potato girl” even now.”

“What about you?” Eren asked.

“I-...” Mikasa looked down at her lap as her smile fell. She smoothed out her dress. “...I was different.”

Their eyes met and a lump formed in Eren’s throat. He felt guilty. Guilty for being around when all of this had been happening, but somehow remaining completely oblivious to all of it. The only thing Eren had ever wanted to do was protect the people he loved, so the fact that they’d been going through so much without him noticing made him feel like he’d let them down.

Like he’d let Mikasa down, just like he had in his last life.

“How were you different?” Eren eventually asked once he found the courage to do so.

Mikasa smiled again as she looked down at the street below. “In this life, we grew up together just like we had before. You, me, and Armin, just the three of us. You and Armin had no idea about our past lives but I-” Mikasa took a shaky breath. “Everyone else was born with no memories until they were triggered. Until they… “woke up” as we started to call it; but I- I remembered everything.” She wrapped her arms around herself. “Maybe it’s another one of those Ackerman powers but-… but from the moment I could have a memory, I remembered. I remembered Shiganshina and the hill we would run up as kids. I remembered the fall of the walls. The titans. Our attack on Liberio. The Rumbling. Everything. I remembered every single piece of it and I- I remembered you…”

Eren’s breath caught. “What do you…” He cleared his throat, “what do you remember about me?” He couldn't look away from her, not for a second.

This was everything he had ever wanted. Everything he denied himself from having in his first life.

“What am I to you, Eren?”

“Family.”

That’s what he’d told her on the streets of Liberio because they didn’t have enough time to be anything else.

But this was time. Right here, right now. This second chance at everything, where they could finally be together.

“Mikasa, I lo-”

“I remembered killing you,” Mikasa cut him off. Eren immediately slammed his mouth shut. “And I also remembered everything that happened after. The years I spent by your grave missing you, wishing you were next to me so we could sit on that hill and watch Shiganshina together.”

Eren looked at the flowers.

The pretty red flowers that spilled over the railing, reaching out to the streets below.

          A dark stain on polyester.

The image came to him out of nowhere. A random, meaningless thought that he shook his head to dismiss so he could bring his focus back to what was important:

“Do you remember the cabin?” He asked.

“I do.”

“So then-” Eren stuttered, “then you and I- we can- now that I’m here and I’m awake and we’re in this life we-”

“We can’t, Eren.” Mikasa said.

Eren was taken aback. Mikasa had felt the same way as he did in their last lifetime, he knew she had! So what was different now?

“Why not?” He asked.

“Because it doesn’t work now, Eren.” She said with a casual shrug.

“I-” Eren’s mouth opened and closed a few times. “What do you mean? We finally have the time, Mikasa. We can be together and you don’t even want to try!? Why not? I-... I love you. I’ve always loved you so-”

“I loved you too.” Mikasa cut him off again.

“But…” Eren was in complete disbelief. “But not anymore?”

“No.” Mikasa answered simply. “Not anymore.”

          New shirt.

              Black marker.

Eren scowled as, for the second time, his mind was invaded with random thoughts that meant nothing to him. He focused again on what was important:

“Why not!? What changed between then and now?”

Mikasa took a deep breath. “I lived a whole lifetime without you, Eren. And I spent most of it learning to live without you by my side. So when I woke up in this life, this new life. I just-... I couldn’t go back.”

             Coffee.

       Itchy cloth.

                    A stale, leftover pastry.

Eren pushed the unhelpful thoughts away as his hands clenched into frustrated fists. He needed to focus on Mikasa! “And- And you didn’t even try!?”

Mikasa laughed. “No, I did. Once.”

“Only once!?”

“Yeah. When we were younger we were together for a bit. Nothing serious, and mostly it was just awkward. I felt like I was trying to play a part instead of doing what I actually wanted. And then a few months later you-…” she trailed off.

Eren’s eyes scanned her face, waiting with bated breath for her to continue. When she didn't, he prompted her with: “I… what?”

Mikasa smiled as she looked back at him. “A few months later,” she said, “you fell in love with someone else.”

    Spaghetti.

        Wine.

   A scratchy, cozy couch.

Eren’s eyes slammed shut as another rush of-- of whatever it was flashed through his mind. His fingers dug into his temples, circling against them as his head pounded.

He fell in love with someone else? Someone who wasn’t Mikasa? What was the point of this new life if he was with someone else? Mikasa was the reason he had fought so hard before. She was everything to him but-

        Lips between his shoulder blades.

                 A joke.

           A laugh.

                        A sharp pain in his chest.

Fuck his head was pounding. From the thoughts? The realizations? The heartbreak? Eren had no idea why, he just knew the throbbing of his skull was starting to become too much and he-

“Your memories of this life will come back to you eventually,” Mikasa told him.

Nothing.

Then there was absolutely nothing.

The flashing of images stopped. The throbbing ended. And Eren slowly lowered his hands, eyes fluttering open as Mikasa came back into view.

She smiled, “and when your memories do come back,” she continued, “you’ll get what I mean when I say that you and I wouldn’t work.”

Eren scowled. “What if I don’t? What if I get my memories back from this weird life and I still want to be with you?”

Mikasa sighed at Eren’s typical impulsive response. “If that happens then… then I’ll probably have to kill you again.”

“WHAT!?”

She laughed at his bright red cheeks and the look of pure horror splashed across his face.

Mikasa reached up to teasingly tug his bangs.

Eren shoved her hand away with the roll of his eyes.

He had looked so serious earlier, resembling the man who had tried to end the world. But now, as he pouted after being teased, all Mikasa could see was a little boy being told by Carla to finish his chores.

“You shouldn’t joke about that…” Eren mumbled.

“It’s not a joke,” Mikasa said. “If you hurt her I really will kill you."

Eren’s blush grew darker. He didn’t need to ask Mikasa to elaborate on who she was talking about. It was obvious to both of them. “I-I don’t even know who she is!” He exclaimed.

“You’ll figure it out.” Mikasa shrugged. “Like I said, you’ll get your memories back eventually and everything will make sense again. Just give it some time.”

      Marker.

          Coffee.

             Spaghetti and wine.

Eren’s eyes widened as the thoughts returned. As the... memories returned?

No.

That’s not what they were. It couldn’t be.

Those weren’t memories, they were just--... weird images in his head. Something he dreamed of, probably, something that didn’t mean anythin-

“Wait!” Eren called, only then realizing that Mikasa was halfway across the patio and heading back inside.

He wanted to ask her to stay. He felt like he was supposed to ask her to stay, that’s what part of him was saying, anyway; because their conversation hadn’t resolved anything! He still had so many questions for her, so many thoughts to share and feelings to bring up! But Mikasa was just going to leave him like this!? Leave him to-- to do what!?

“Just let the memories come back to you, Eren,” Mikasa told him.

"And what the hell am I supposed to do while I wait for that to happen!?”

Mikasa smiled as she turned around to look at him one more time.

“Follow your instincts,” she said, “no matter which lifetime you’re in, you’ve always been pretty good at doing that.”

And then she left him on the patio alone with his thoughts.

Alone with his fragmented memories.

Alone with a strange sense of deja vu as he looked down at the red flowers, at the street, and at the setting sun.

A messy heart on the lid of a paper coffee cup.

A hand that fit so naturally in his.

The words “I love you” mumbled before falling asleep…

CHAPTER 4: In a Coffee Shop Meetcute

A (mildly pretentious) Coffee Shop 6 Years Ago

“I think I get why these men are on here.” You told your coworker as you leaned against the counter together, two sets of eyes glued to your phone. You swiped left.

Left again.

Left again.

Paused.

One more left.

Then you sighed.

“Why’s that?” Your coworker asked.

“So here’s my theory.” Tired of the mindless Tinder scrolling, you slid your phone into your back pocket and grabbed a marker from the lip of the register so you could doodle on an empty cup as you explained. “Men on dating apps are there because they give off such ick in real life that they can’t meet women in person without setting off alarm bells, so apps are their only option.”

Your coworker shrugged. “Okay, so why are the women on there?”

“I dunno,” you replied with a snort, already laughing at your own joke: “why does anyone go to a zoo?”

“That’s kinda judgmental.” A customer chimed in from behind you.

“Jesus christ-” you jumped, unaware that anyone had entered the cafe at all. The sharpie in your hand slipped from your hold and went flying toward him sending a black line down the front of his shirt.

“O-- Oh my god!” Your hands immediately covered your mouth as your eyes widened in pure horror. “I’m so, so, so sorry! Um- uh-” You glanced around for a microfiber cloth (which normally made your skin crawl to touch, but you couldn’t think about that right now). You quickly ran the microfiber (ew) cloth under the sink. “Here!” You reached across the counter to press it to the front of his shirt. “Maybe it’ll um-” It did nothing. “Uh…” You tried again. “O-Okay just…” That’s when you finally looked up at him.

You must have come across as pretty pathetic with the way you were reaching over the counter to uselessly dab his shirt in an attempt to get permanent marker out of polyester (spoiler alert: that doesn’t work and it never will).

So you were pathetic.

And he was gorgeous. 

The universe must have had it out for you. Seriously had it out for you because- … holy shit. 

The first thing you noticed were his eyes. A stunning composition that reminded you of the night sky on a full moon- swirling blues and greens beautifully illuminated with flecks of golden stars. 

And then his messy-on-purpose brown hair, half tied up in a bun with a few strands falling against his forehead.

His flawless skin.

His sharp cheekbones.

His adorable nose.

Woah.

It was a real “knees weak, arms spaghetti” moment for you ((made even more embarrassing by the fact that the first thing you thought was “knees weak, arms spaghetti” but that’s where your mind went and you were happy to keep that secret with you until the day you died)).

“I don’t think that’s working.” He told you. 

“Yeah um-” You cleared your throat and dropped the cloth to the counter, quickly standing back up as your cheeks burned. “I really am sorry I could um- I could buy you a new one?”

“Eh,” he shrugged, “it’s old anyway.”

But it didn’t look old.

Still, you were too embarrassed to question him.

“Free coffee?” You offered instead.

He smiled again and you refused to think about knees and spaghetti for the second time.

“Alright,” he replied with an awkward laugh and a smile that made your head feel fuzzy. “Free coffee sounds good.”

Dammit.

Knees and spaghetti it was.

He was back the next day.

   And the day after that.

      And the day after that.

You began to wonder if he was new in the area and just happened to be the type of guy who liked a consistent schedule, if anything the theory made you respect him; but sometimes you hopefully wished he visited so frequently because of… something else.

Because of some one else.

“If you ruin my shirt again, will this one be free too?” He joked on the fourth visit as you handed him a semi-sweet iced coffee.

“Yeah,” you teased back, “but you have to sneak up on me or it’s not authentic.”

You learned new things about him every time he came in.

First, it was his name: Eren.

Eren.

And god, after figuring that out you spent a stupid amount of time pausing on those ‘roll for the first letter of your soul mate’s name’ tiktoks. At least you had the decency to not post them (except for that one time you accidentally did).

You found out he was also attending university. That he was an English major but school was making him lose motivation to write.

That his favourite colour was red.

That he’d never lived anywhere but the city.

That his friends were more important to him than anything, and he’d known them for most of his life. 

And then, a month after you meet, you found out something else...

“So,” you said, five minutes before closing as you wiped down the counter and Eren finished off an (almost expired) donut you’d given him for free instead of throwing out. He was beginning to develop a habit of showing up right before you closed. You still weren’t sure if it was because he had a night class or if he just liked the day-old pastries. ((Or maybe there was a mysterious third reason))

“So…?” He asked, when you didn’t finish the thought (you’d gotten distracted by the way he was licking icing off his fingers).

You cleared your throat and looked down at the counter. “Why was I being judgmental?”

“Oh,” Eren said, “because not everyone that’s in a frat is just there for the parties. My friend Reiner says he-”

“No not about that,” although maybe your opinions on frat boys were based on a stereotype and that was deserving of its own conversation entirely, “I mean about the dating app thing.”

“What dating app thing?” He asked, eyebrows momentarily tightening together with a confused scowl. It was an expression he wore a lot and it always made you laugh.

“The first thing you said to me!” You exclaimed through your laughter. “I was talking about dating apps and you said I was being judgmental. Honestly, I feel like it was the worst first impression ever.”

“Nah, the bad impression part was when you were feeling me up like three seconds later.”

“I-” Your cheeks burn bright red at his joke. “I was not feeling you up!”

Eren threw his head back and laughed.

You tossed your microfiber (ew) towel at him. It landed in the middle of his face before falling to the floor with a dramatic ‘flop’.

Eren snickered as he leaned down to pick it up. “I said you were being judgmental because you were.”

“Please elaborate.”

“Well,” he stood, cloth now in hand, “there are some genuine people on dating apps just looking for connections.”

You rolled your eyes. “Yeah, but it’s all- it’s so fake. How many times can I repeat the same: ‘Hi, how are you?’ ‘I’m good, how are you?’ ‘Good. What do you do for work?’ ‘I work at this shitty cafe and there’s a regular that’s constantly patronizing me to try to get free food. What about you?’.” You sighed. “If people actually want to get to know each other, they should-”

Your rant came to an immediate pause as Eren stopped in front of you.

He was so close. Close enough that you could immediately notice the flecks of gold in his eyes. 

The last time you were this close to him, you’d been frantically rubbing sharpie out of his shirt but now-

Now you were just standing there…

Just close.

So close that you completely forgot how to breathe.

“Some people,” Eren continued, “have to meet that way.” He spoke so much softer than normal, but maybe it was just because you were close enough that softness was all he needed to be heard.

“...huh?”

Eren’s cheeks were dusted pink.

You could hear your heartbeat in your ears.

He continued: “Some people have trouble getting dates any other way.”

“Why’s-” you cleared your throat as it tightened, “why’s that?”

Eren took a breath as his eyes flicked between both of yours.

He was close.

He was so close.

And then he looked away.

“Because some people are… pretty shit at asking out the people they like.”

You jumped as the cloth he’d picked up met your hand.

And this time it wasn’t even because of the gross sensation of microfiber.

Four days later Eren showed up at your work, again, right before closing.

“No free donuts today, sorry.” You immediately told him.

“It’s fine.” He replied as he awkwardly shifted his weight from one foot to the other as if he wasn’t sure which way was normal to stand anymore, while completely avoiding your eyes.

He looked nervous. 

“Um… Eren?”

“Yep?”

You snickered. “Are you oka-”

“Do you wanna go out with me?” He quickly blurted out, finally looking up at you with determination in his eyes and bright red embarrassment across his cheeks.

Your breath caught. “...w-what?”

“With me. Now.” Eren elaborated before some of his confidence crumbled. “Or- Or in like five minutes when your shift is done. Unless you have to stay late tonight because the place is a mess! Not that it looks bad in here or anything! I’m just saying I can wait around! Or we can go another day I just-”

“Are you asking me on a date?” You asked, not wanting to misinterpret his question. 

“I-...” Eren let out a short exhale that shifted into a pathetic laugh at the end. “Yeah. I’m trying to, anyway.” He smiled through his embarrassment. “Don’t laugh you’ll-... you’ll hurt my ego.”

So you didn’t laugh.

Instead, you said yes.

You had a casual first date, just dinner at a local pub.

Your second, third, fourth, fifth, and sixth dates (although you started losing count at some point) passed just as casually.

It was comfortable. Relaxing. Sure, there was a bit of awkward tension at first, but eventually the two of you slipped into a natural rhythm.

Your first kiss was on a park bench on campus.

You brought him day-old donuts any chance you got.

You met his best friends, who quickly became your best friends too.

“I love you” was said after a year of dating.

You graduated after another.

By the third year, you moved in together.

By the fourth, you couldn’t imagine life without him.

And by the sixth year of dating, you had a feeling it was for life.

“Think he’ll propose?” Mikasa’s staticky voice came through the speaker of your phone. You pressed it harder against your ear out of the fear that Eren might somehow develop super hearing and listen in on your conversation.

“I- I dunno, maybe...” You answered, nervously nibbling your bottom lip as you watched your boyfriend from over the back of the couch. He was in the kitchen making dinner. Shirtless, because he was an idiot that didn't care about getting hot chicken oil on his chest.

‘Sluts can’t get third-degree burns, babe.’ He always told you.

‘Then commit to the bit and lose the pants too.’ You always joked back.

He never did though. Apparently, he was okay with hot oil on his tiddies, but his dick and balls were a different story.

“Would you say yes?” Mikasa’s question interrupted your thoughts. 

“Yeah,” you said with a sigh, “but only because he’d cry if I said no.” You joked.

Mikasa laughed. “Maybe he’ll do it tomorrow.”

“Pfft, that’d be tacky. Tomorrow is Niccolo’s big day, not ours.”

“Yeah, I guess that’s right.” You heard Mikasa yawn through the phone.

“You sound exhausted,” you told her, “don’t you have to get up super early to catch your flight?”

“Yeah, but my hotel is lonely.”

You laughed. “Wanna talk to Eren before bed?”

“Sure. He’ll get mad if I don’t.”

You pulled the phone away from your ear. “Eren!” You held it out to him. “Mikasa wants to say goodnight.”

“Can you come stir?” He asked.

You pushed off the couch and stepped up to him in the kitchen, trading him your phone for the spatula. 

He kissed your cheek as he walked past you into the living room.

“Okay, so did you see the new episode?” He asked as he flopped down on the couch. “NO FUCKING WAY YOU DID NOT CALL IT!!”

You rolled your eyes as the two of them started their passionate back and forth about the latest episode of whatever show they were both watching.

That night, after a plate of spaghetti, a shared bottle of wine, and a decent amount of time doing 18+ activities that started in the living room but ended in the bedroom; you found yourself with your arms around Eren’s waist and your face buried between his bare shoulders.

He liked to be the little spoon, even though he’d deny it to your friends.

You didn’t mind though. It meant you could pinch his nipples if he said something sassy before falling asleep.

You smiled against this back.

He smelled like Eren. There wasn’t anything distinct about it that you could put a name to, it was just Eren and you loved it.

Your smile widened as you thought about how perfect your life was. Your career was going well, you had an apartment with an amazing view, and you were dating the love of your life. 

You hoped nothing would ever change.

“I love you.” You whispered before placing a kiss on Eren’s shoulder.

“...that’s so fucking gay…” He mumbled back.

Eren yelped when you pinched his nipple but the squeal of pain quickly shifted into a laugh as he grabbed your hand in his (mostly to keep his nipples safe from continued attacks) and pulled it up to his lips.

He kissed the back of your hand firmly.

Then softly.

Then firmly again.

“Love you too,” Eren told you.

The lights didn’t need to be on for you to know that he was smiling. 

You just knew he was, because you were smiling too. 

“Eren, seriously,” you laughed the next morning as you crawled over him to get him out of bed. “We have to leave in forty-five minutes and you need to take a shower.” 

.

.

.

“Who the hell are you?”

CHAPTER 5: On a Moonlit City Street

note: This chapter uses the song "Until I Found You" by Stephen Sanchez. [spotify / youtube] I highly recommend listening to it during the scene it plays. Everything is timed to the music and it’s indicated when the song is supposed to start.

A Restaurant Downtown

You thought that with Mikasa here, Eren would start to act normally again.

Apparently, you thought wrong.

In fact, it was almost like he was avoiding you more now. 

You could barely catch sight of him in the crowded restaurant as the hours passed and the party went on. On the rare occasions that you did see him, he was always tucked away in a corner talking to Armin. Or Mikasa. Or Jean or Sasha or Connie.

The fact that it was them wasn’t weird, they were his best friends, but what was weird was how you weren’t included. What was weird was how their conversations always came to a stop when you approached. What was weird was the sudden tension that washed over Eren as his back straightened, he took in a quick breath, and his eyes immediately went to anywhere but you. 

Eyes that you used to compare to swirling stars in the night sky. Not now though. Now there weren’t any flecks of gold, no twisted green and blue that lit up at the sight of you, now they just looked- empty.

Weird.

It was weird.

And every time you were reminded of that weirdness you had to will yourself not to cry.

You were desperately trying to piece together what had happened. What you had done wrong. But you genuinely had no idea! Last night had been date night. You’d gone out to see a movie that Eren had been dying to see and then you came home. You and Eren made dinner together before you fell into bed and passed out next to each other, thinking about how your life was perfect.

But then you’d woken up that morning and things had been far from perfect. 

Things had been the exact opposite of perfect, actually.

Things had been-

“You look like shit,” Hitch said as she reached for a drink on the bar next to you.

“Lovely to see you too, Hitch.”

Hitch was more of a friend-in-law than anything. A member of Eren’s extended social circle that you were sucked into when the two of you started dating. The only times you'd actually been “close” to her had been during drunken meet-ups in bar bathrooms when you'd both sobbed about how pretty the other was while vowing to be best friends for life.

Normal girl stuff.

“Trouble in paradise~?” She teased, resulting in a roll of your eyes as you took another sip of your drink.

“No.” You immediately lied, not wanting to become a new topic of Hitch’s gossip.

Hitch laughed. “Alright, then I’ll assume the way you keep glaring at your boyfriend is some new kinda foreplay.”

Your cheeks burned. “Hitch that’s- you’re so gross…”

She shrugged. “I’m just sayin’ it like it is.” 

Her eyes followed yours and she looked over at Eren. He was on the other side of the restaurant with Armin, speaking in hushed tones with a serious expression on his face. 

“I’m worried he’s about to break up with me.” The words tumbled out of your mouth before you could stop them.

In a shocking turn of events, Hitch didn’t tease you about it. “Really?” She asked sincerely.

“...yeah…”

“What makes you say that?”

“He’s just-” you sighed, “he was so weird this morning and he’s been avoiding me all day. When he looks at me it’s completely different from the way he normally looks at me. It’s like he’s- like he’s mad or something. I don’t get it.”

Hitch shrugged. “Did you guys get into a fight?”

“No.”

“Then he’s probably just being all guy-ish about something. I bet you hurt his ego somehow and now he’s in his head about it. Men are like that, you know,” she clicked her tongue, “stupidly emotional over the tiniest things.”

The world really must have been fucked if Hitch Dreyse was starting to make sense.

“At the risk of regretting this,” you started as you tore your eyes away from Eren, “what should I do?”

Hitch snickered and grinned that stupid Cheshire cat grin you’d always hated. “If it were me,” which you’re glad it’s not, given Hitch’s awful track record, “I’d give him a nice little reminder of what he’d be missing if he left~”

“Uh okay… how?”

Hitch shrugged. “I dunno. Quickie in the bathroom?”

“Hitch it’s the opening night of Niccolo’s restaurant!!” You exclaimed, cheeks burning an even deeper shade of red.

She threw her head back with a loud laugh. “Then what a perfect night to christen the handicap stall!”

“I can’t believe you…” You mumbled.

Then again… maybe she wasn’t completely wrong. 

Not about screwing your boyfriend in the bathroom of your friend’s newly opened restaurant!!! But about giving Eren a reminder. It didn’t seem like an awful idea, anyway.

You stared down at your drink.

And then you chugged the rest of it.

“So we’re just born again or something and it’s- it’s like no one even cares about before?” Eren asked, scowling at the table as Armin sat across from him. Mikasa had told him how everyone’s memories got triggered at some point, but she’d left it at that after they’d gotten distracted talking about-...

His eyes naturally moved across the restaurant until they fell to you.

His stomach flipped.

Dammit.

He looked away.

Armin chuckled. “I know it’s confusing right now, but you’ll get used to it.”

“Doubt that,” Eren mumbled as he returned to the subject at hand. He took a nervous breath. “I-... I killed too many people to get off that easy.”

Armin was silent for a moment. “Yes we-... we did.”

Eren looked up at Armin, who was staring into his glass as he ran his thumb up and down the condensation, completely lost in thought.

“The thing about this life though,” Armin started before Eren could say anything else, “is that everyone has an understanding that it’s… it’s different. None of the stuff that happened before happened here. Yes, you still need to make amends but- but everyone gets it. Everyone understands that our last lives were complicated, so instead of focusing on that we try to enjoy the chance we’ve been given to live again.” 

Eren watched Armin for a moment longer before he looked around the restaurant, eyes scanning the people he knew hundreds of years ago who were alive again under completely different circumstances. 

Marco was playing darts with Reiner, Annie, and Bertholdt. He hit a bullseye and all four of them cheered. 

Sasha was sneaking a french fry off Gabi’s plate. Gabi smacked her hand but Sasha flashed her a peace sign as she shoved the french fry into her mouth. 

Samuel’s arm was around Connie’s shoulder. He ruffled his short hair as Daz laughed next to them.

And then his eyes fell to you.

You, chatting with Hitch Dreyse of all people, at the bar.

Eren watched as your cheeks turned pink after something she said and he couldn’t help but admit to himself that you looked cute. His heart started pounding, just like it had been doing all day when he stared at you for too long. He didn’t get it. He really didn’t get it. Who were you and how did you fit in with everyone here? You were the only person in the entire restaurant that he didn’t know, and yet the way you spent the evening talking to everyone made it seem like you’d known them all just as long as he had.

Maybe even longer.

“You’re probably wondering who she is,” Armin said.

Eren jumped and looked away from you as if ashamed that he’d been caught.

And he was, sort of.

He was ashamed that he didn’t remember someone who apparently mattered so much.

“I wasn’t wondering…” Eren mumbled.

Instead of prodding, Armin got to the point. “Not everyone is like us,” he said.

“You mean from back then or- or whatever is going on?”

“Yeah,” Armin replied, “exactly.”

“Why’s that?”

“No one knows,” Armin answered. “We all have our guesses obviously, but it’ll be impossible to prove anything.”

“What do you think?” If anyone had it figured out (or at least mostly figured out) it would have been Armin.

Armin paused before answering. “I think… I think that this life gets given to people who deserve a second chance. People who didn’t get to live happily the first time around, so they’re given an opportunity to try again. Meanwhile, some people are here for the first time and maybe others have lived three lifetimes. Or four. Or five, six, seven- maybe it goes on infinitely until you get to live a life that’s fair, or good or-- or whatever you want to call it.”

“What’s your proof of that?”

“No proof,” Armin smiled, “just a feeling.”

“Hm.”

“What?”

“Nothing,” Eren mumbled. “You’re just… You’re different now.”

Armin threw his head back and laughed. “Hopefully not too different.”

“Nah. It’s a good thing. You were too much of a know-it-all before.” The corners of Eren’s lips tugged into a small smile as he said it. It felt good to smile. He hadn’t been able to do much of that towards the end of his last lifetime.

Armin scoffed before he chuckled. “Rude Eren, rude.”

Eren’s smile grew wider as their eyes met and there was a rush of something through him. Something that suddenly made him feel light and airy. Carefree. Hopeful in a way he hadn’t felt since he was just a stupid little kid in Shiganshina.

Alive.

That’s what it was.

For the first time in years, Eren felt alive.

“Hey, Eren.”

His smile immediately washed from his face at the sound of your voice.

Coffee.

Marker.

Spaghetti and wine.

Eren rapidly blinked as he reached up to rub his throbbing temples. “...fuck-..”

Your hands held his in an instant, pulling them away from his head as Eren’s eyes fluttered open to meet yours. It reminded him of the first thing he’d seen after waking up that morning.

Eren quickly looked over at Armin in a wordless plea for his best friend to save him.

Instead, Armin smiled. “I’ll give you guys some alone time.” He said.

Eren’s eyes widened. “But Armin I-”

“What?” He asked with a short laugh. “Don’t tell me you don’t want to spend time with your girlfriend?”

Eren’s mouth slammed shut. He felt like it’d be weird if he denied it because obviously the version of him that knew you would have been jumping at the opportunity. 

“Don’t stress about it, Eren,” Armin told him as he stood, placing a hand on his friend's shoulder as he passed by him. “Just take it slow and you’ll figure it out.” 

“R-Right…” Eren mumbled as he watched Armin walk away.

There was a moment of hesitation.

A moment when the two sides of Eren slipped into a war of what he should do:

   Leave with Armin.

   Stay with her.

Ever so slowly Eren looked back at you.

Your hands still held his as you stared at him. Eyes wide and lips slightly parted as you took in one shaky breath after another. It looked like you were studying him. Watching. Waiting for some sort of clue that’ll give you a big grand “ah-hah!” moment. 

It made Eren’s heart jump into his throat as his stomach sank.

His fingers twitched with the desire to reach out and tuck a piece of hair behind your ear. To hold your face in his hands and let his thumb trail across your cheek. He knew what it felt like to do it, and now he knew it was because he’d done it before.

He couldn’t remember it, but he’d done it before.

“Follow your instincts,” Mikasa had told him, “no matter which lifetime, you’ve always been pretty good at doing that.”

Eren swallowed the lump in his throat. 

For the first time all day, he let the other side of him win. He gave into the desire to be next to you, to touch you, to simply exist in the same space as you- he let it take over.

His instincts.

That’s what it was. It was his instincts.

Eren’s fingers delicately ghosted your cheek, which suddenly became warm under his touch. Just like he’d been imagining doing: he tucked a piece of hair behind your ear, allowing his fingers to linger there for a moment so he could admire your soft skin and the way brushing against it sent a rush of warm affection right to his heart.

Your laugh as you walked through the park on campus.

Selfies taken at graduation.

Drunkenly stumbling down the street after a late night out.

This time it wasn’t single thoughts with no context of where they were from. This time the thoughts- the memories, were more vivid. More real. And it was you, clearly you, front and center in all of them.

“I’m-” Eren started without even knowing what he was about to say. It was his instincts again. The part of him that he was letting take control. The part of him that didn’t see you as a stranger. 

   The part of him that loved you.

He cleared his throat and started again: “I’m sorry I’ve been- um… distant.”

“Yeah...” you agreed, “you… you have been.”

“I just-” his eyes darted across your face. “My head’s all- I-”

“Eren.” You cut him off, causing his gaze to settle against yours.

((The night sky. The stars. The swirling green and blue.))

You smiled as you reached up to cup his hand, the hand that was still against your cheek, in yours. “I love you.” You reminded him.

The words came tumbling out of Eren’s mouth before he had a chance to catch them: “I love you too.”

“Let's clear up some space, guys!” Niccolo called as everyone began to push the tables aside to make room for a dance floor.

You and Eren snapped out of whatever moment you’d been having and jumped apart.

Before the music even started Sasha excitedly danced around and pulled Niccolo along with her in anticipation. 

Yesterday, you would have done the same thing as Sasha and tugged your boyfriend to the dance floor without the option of saying ‘no’. But today- today things were different and you still didn’t know why.

You were worried that if you asked him to dance he’d-…

The music started and you glanced at Eren only to realize he was already looking at you.

Suddenly you become self-conscious. The awkwardness was reminiscent of your first meeting. Of the time you’d uselessly tried to get Sharpie out of his new shirt.

There was a moment of hesitation, a moment where you thought he was going to turn away and avoid you like he’d been doing all day.

But then…

    Georgia~

Eren held out his hand.

    Wrap me up in all your- I want ya…

You hesitantly took it.

    In my arms-     Oh, let me…

He pulled you closer.

                  …hold ya

His other hand pressed to your lower back.

           Oh, I used to say~

And then you were slowly moving, just the two of you, sucked into your own little world as you become completely oblivious to everyone around you.

He avoided your eyes but still found a way to steal little glances here and there. He seemed-

Embarrassed. 

Just like he was the day you dabbed a microfiber cloth against the front of his shirt.

   I was lost within the darkness, but then I found her       I found you

“Welcome back, stranger.” You smile at Eren as he enters the coffee shop for the second time.

     Georgia, pulled me in I asked to- love her

“Are you asking me on a date?”

“Don’t laugh, you’ll hurt my ego.”

   Once again    You fell, I-      caught ya

You both jump as your hands accidentally brush together as you walk next to each other.

Your embarrassed and flustered expressions mirror each other.

Then the two of you burst out laughing.

“I would never fall in love agai until I found her”

You kiss for the first time on a park bench.

I said, “I would never fall unless it’s you I fall into”

“I love you.” 

“That’s… so cringe.”

     I was lost within the darkness, but then I found her

You excitedly throw yourself into his arms as he places the last moving box in your new apartment.

     I found you.

The memories came back to Eren in vivid flashes as you moved around the dance floor. It should have been overwhelming- having two lives suddenly meshing together in his head- but it wasn’t.

Instead, it was-

“Eren?” You asked, “Everything okay?”

He slides a red velvet box into his bedside table.

You burst into the room and almost ruin the surprise.

“Yeah,” Eren answered softly, “I’m-...” 

“I would never fall in love again until I found her”

“I’m great.” He smiled.

I said, “I would never fall unless it’s you I fall into”

His hand came up to cup your cheek, gently stroking his thumb across your skin.

     I was lost within the darkness, but then I found her      I found you

Eren pressed lips against yours, kissing you for the first time all day as the memories of his lives- both of his lives, settled in their entirety in his mind.

He might not have known you in his last lifetime, but he found you in this one.

And in that moment, to Eren, that was all that mattered.

He pulled away from your lips, smiling as his thumb brushed across your cheek. He was overcome with the desire to tell you everything. To explain it all to you, even though his friends said it was better not to. Sure, he might sound crazy, but he had a feeling that you’d believe him. That you’d understand. That you’d hear him out and be just as equally amazed as he was when you realize the opportunity he had been given, everyone had been given, to be handed this second life.

So he’d tell you one day.

They all would.

Eren settled on that promise to himself. The promise that one day he’d be honest. The promise that one day you’d understand why he’d woken up so confused. For now though, he just wanted to enjoy the second life he’d been given.

And the fact that, somehow, you were a part of it.

A City Street

“It looks great, Niccolo,” Eren told his friend with a wide grin as he firmly shook his hand. “I bet you’ll have the most popular restaurant on the whole block.”

“Yeah well, my only competition is a bakery that’s closed every day but Sundays,” Niccolo told him.

“See? You’re already killing it!”

Niccolo laughed and shook his head. “Glad you could make it, Eren.” He said, patting Eren’s shoulder as he passed him a knowing glance. “And… we’re glad to have you back.”

You weren’t entirely sure what Niccolo meant by it, but you figured that today was weird enough that you weren’t going to question it.

“Nicoooooooooo…” Sasha drunkenly sang as she leaned against the door of the restaurant. “There’s no more wineeeee…”

“Oh god.” Niccolo sighed.

You snickered as he turned around and caught his shit-faced fiance before she ended up face-first against the pavement.

“Ready to go?” Eren asked, wrapping his arm around your shoulders before he pressed his lips to the top of your head.

“Yep!”

You and Eren were one of the last few to leave. Everyone else had gotten way too drunk to stay any longer, but Eren hadn’t wanted to go home. He was having too much fun dancing, laughing, and bouncing around the room like a complete social butterfly.

“You had a lot of energy tonight.” You joked as the two of you walked down the street together. 

Eren laughed. “I was excited.”

“Yeah, I could tell. I think you talked to everyone there, even Annie.”

He scoffed. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

“That you normally try to avoid her because of that time she threw you over her shoulder and kicked your ass.”

“No, no, no you’re remembering that wrong.”

“I am not!”

“Totally are. I kicked her ass, remember?”

“Okay,” you snickered again, “just keep telling yourself that.” 

It didn’t take long for you to reach the train station. Eren’s arm wrapped back around your shoulder as you took a seat on one of the benches. The sign above the station indicated that your train would be another five minutes, but you didn’t care how long it took.

With a sigh, you leaned against Eren’s chest. He rubbed your arm in return.

“Cold?” He asked.

“Nah.” You answered. 

He pulled off his jacket and placed it around your shoulders anyway.

“Now you’re gonna be cold, dumbass.” You mumbled, tightening his jacket around you nonetheless.

“Pfft, I’m too sexy to get cold.”

“So you’re saying I’m not sexy?”

“Eh,” Eren shrugged, “you’re alright.”

You playfully slapped his chest as he laughed. He grabbed your hand before you could pull it away. “Hey,” Eren started, tone shifting to something much more serious as his fingers curled around yours.

“What?”

“I’m sorry.” He kissed the tips of your fingers. “For… For being weird today.”

“...It’s okay,” you mumbled.

“No, it’s not. I was being distant for no reason and it was probably really shitty for you.”

You curled your fingers around his and squeezed his hand as you looked down into your lap. “It-… yeah it kinda sucked.”

“You didn’t do anything wrong,” Eren reassured you.

“Then… what happened?”

Eren opened his mouth to say something, but just as quickly he closed it again. “It’s-... It’s not something easy to talk about.”

He thought about the promise he made to himself on the dance floor, the promise to tell you one day. To tell you the entire story, not leaving out a single detail, starting the moment he woke up from a weird dream in Shiganshina and ending when Mikasa’s blade met his neck.

He needed time though.

Time to think about how to say it. To tell it. To put it in a way that he can convey how wrong he was in his last life and how much better he wanted to be in this one.

Time.

One of the two major things he was missing in his first life.

Time and-…

“It’s okay, Eren.” Your words cut through his thoughts. “Just tell me when you’re ready, alright?”

The way you looked at him, with so much trust in your eyes, made Eren’s stomach flip and his heart pound.

So he promised it to himself again. He promised that he’ll tell you, one day, after a little bit of time.

Eren cupped your cheek in his palm and pulled you in for a kiss.

You sighed as your boyfriend kissed you. Your eyes slid closed and the comforting familiarity of his kiss made everything in the world seem right.

Made everything seem perfect, once again.

And, just like always, you didn’t want to change a single thi-

Crisp hospital sheets.

The afternoon light against a bandaged face.

Green pills in a paper cup.

You froze.

“Are you okay?” he asked.

“I snuck you an extra apple, don’t tell anyone or they’ll accuse me of picking favourites~”

“Hey,” warm fingers brushed against your forehead.

“Why would I skip out on the festival, it sounds like fun!”

“What’s going on?”

   Fire.

   Rubble.

   Screaming.

He called your name.

   A grip.

   A squeeze.

   A pop.

“Can you hear me?”

   The deafening sound of complete silence,

followed by the terrifying sight of pitch black.   

Your eyes fluttered open. 

You didn’t recognize where you were. You didn’t recognize the sounds, or the smells, or the loud voice that came from nowhere saying: “next train arriving, please stand behind the yellow line” .

But you did recognize something.

Someone.

And the sight of him, freshly shaved, hair cut and styled, free of bandages with no crutches to make up for a missing leg- it made your heart flutter, just like it always did.

You smiled, because what other reaction could you possibly have when you were looking directly at the man you were forbidden to love, but loved so deeply despite it. 

You said the only thing you could, given the miracle before you: “Are we there, Mr. Kruger?” You asked him. “Are we… somewhere nice?”

Suddenly Eren knew exactly who you were.

Suddenly, he remembered why he’d forgotten in the first place.

“She’s distracting you, Eren,” Zeke said as he placed a baseball on the bench between them.

“No she’s not,” came Eren’s monotone reply.

But now Eren could never forget again. Not the longing. Not the guilt. Not the feeling of bones breaking, the smell of fresh blood, or the bursting of flesh between his titan’s fingers.

“Then kill her,” Zeke said casually, as if the words meant nothing.

Eren would never forget again.

He would never forget how it felt when he, the attack titan, crushed you in his hands and discarded your lifeless body against the war-torn streets of Liberio…

[THE END]