#I’m still cackling

[cameronsprincess]

just saw this on twitter and died😭

whoever made this… thank you😂

[enviedear]

my fyp is truly too targeted because why did this live pop up at just the right time for me to see this…

thought about placing an offer for it but then i remembered we just entered trump presidency so maybe no unnecessary purchases for a minute

[arcane-vagabond]

Behold! The TikTok that made me lose my shit!!

[ekkoh]

Clan of two? *joel cocks gun* not on my watch

this will not be kept in my inbox because the world deserves to see this. joel hates one (1) talking frog. he’s sending that abomination into the stratosphere. it’s an affront to god. to nature. it’s target practice. NOT ON JOEL’S WATCH 🔫

[147poundsofteenwolf]

I’m sorry, I’m still dying over the whole ring cutter think? Does Buck have a ring cutter for what I think he has it for orr…

[pedrospatch]

Totally agree with you on the Taylor thing, I love seeing her when I am meant/ excepting it. I feel like lately she can’t sneeze without the world watching her.

idk i mean i went through a period where i was like it’s too much and now i’m one of those who does too much and spends all money on merch and WHAT OF IT it’s not a crime

same thing happened for me with the walking dead

same thing happened with me for ariana grande

i can list off everything i took a break from and then went back to loving

[batnbreakfast]

New red string of fate connected soulmates version just dropped. 😂

[fayes-fics]

Alas! Benedict Bridgerton has been cursèd by a foul witch! You are given a choice: would you rather he became a human sized chicken or a chicken sized human?

Hi Nonny!

OMG BWHAHAHA 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

So I’m definitely going chicken sized human. A human sized chicken would be terrifying. A teeny Benedict I can pick up and carry around under my arm? ADORABLE 🥹🥹

I loved this ridiculously fun ask. I think I might know who this is, and I just want to say thank you. You brighten my days 🫶😁🧡🧡

[mrxadreamin]

two things that had me cackling:

1. “Pornhub Tarzan”

2. The documentary bit ajdgaba

MC naked & afraid featuring 7 idiots Headcannons

(What in hell is bad! survival Island headcannons)

Based off of my whb survival Island poll

Author's notes: I'm watching a documentary right now This shit made me laugh so hard imagining these demons becoming feral

It was supposed to be a cruise Mammon was testing out his new cruise ship but something horribly wrong happened where you and the seven kings were stranded on an island in the human world. Their powers unable to work for plot reasons.

They're not stuck forever They can go back home but a rescue team will take a month to arrive.

Satan

Satan somehow got a campfire running. He got so angry he lit the fire based off of pure anger. Because Leviathan was bullying him that he didn't know how to start a simple fire and asked him to hand over the sticks. Satan said "NO! FUCK YOU PUSSY BITCH I GOT IT!"

Satan is a really good hunter, like an exceptional hunter. And he quickly goes into his role. It's been 2 days and now He wears the pelt of his latest kill. Hey sharpens his own tools and he looks like a savage according to Leviathan.

Satan has gotten a thrill for the hunt and for some reason he keeps staring at you....

Mammon

For an hour he's been looking around this deserted island it is populated with native animals and foliage as well as fresh water. You know what he's thinking about... Turning this island into another one of his villas.

When he is not checking out this island as if he's trying to purchase real estate He's actually helping you with building a shelter. Tino's absolutely nothing about building shelters but he's glad to be your heavy muscles and tools for whenever you can't do something.

Following Satan His deconstruction of a civil man has begun but the only thing that really changed is his shirt came off that's it... Only because It got ripped when Satan and him had a fight.

Leviathan

He hates this he fucking hates this. Everyone's running around like headless chickens and he's the only competent devil (except for Lucifer)

He's been better... He was actually a lot worse when you first crashed on the island You had to actually calm him down from his panic attack and when he did finally calm down He has been clinging to you like his life depended on it. Using you as some kind of strange therapy. Becoming more possessive over you.

Anything you're doing he is doing with you no questions ask if anyone were to question it he will take a sharp rock and stab them right in the eye.

Beelzebub

As soon as you woke up in the sand Beelzebub. You wanted to search for him But the other kings we're not worried for him at all.

Before the sun goes down he does turn up with a stick sharpened into a spear and food. Beel is an exceptional hunter. He is the reason why All of you aren't starving. Beel can literally eat anything But that doesn't mean you and other devils can't. So if he tells you not to eat something don't need it.

Beel and Satan have some kind of dick measuring competition with killing and hunting prey. Satan comes back with a rabbit, Beel catches a wild boar, Satan comes back with a big fish, Beel comes back with a crocodile.

Lucifer

Oh my god finally a competent devil. Lucifer is the most important devil since he can heal injuries as well as sicknesses. Even though his magic isn't in effect he still knows a lot of natural plant remedies. He knows every plant species that God has made.

He looks at you with an odd look, while you follow his instructions closely on how to build a proper shelter.

He takes this chance to study you as if you were his science project every time you get a bump I scrape or scratch He studies you meticulously how your human body heals naturally slowly. His fingers delicately tracing each scar you've ever had.

Belphegor

Motherfucker is either asleep or jacking off while you guys do the work. He's so lucky to have all these hard workers working for him and with the shelter built he could finally... It's not comfortable...

He knows that you guys are doing your best and what not but damn sleeping on the ground sucks ass wipe. He wants to find natural soft moss or bedding just for a better sleep.

Because of Belphegor The shelter in looks more and more comfortable with his additions which he always adamantly reminds you. Every time you go in there's new shit added and it looks more like a nest then a shelter.

Asmodeus

Oh yeah the clothes are gone... Are you surprised? This demon has become full feral and he loves it. An island paradise for you and him and of the other 6 would like to join they're more than welcome to.

This uncivilized natural land spark something inside him that you don't want anything to do with.

After you literally threatened not to have sex with him for 2 months until he puts his clothes back on He decides to use leaves or vines instead now he just looks like PornHub Tarzan...

Bonus:

This devil is the king of lust, He has been eyeing this human potential mate for a while now...

The human bathing in the crystal pool catch a sight of him, They seem weary but content with his presence.

This is his chance The devil puffs out his chest showing off his horn it is a devil's way of showing strength and virility.

In his usual habitat He would be the undisputed king. But now his territory is shared. And another eyes his prey.

The human looks into the foliage before jumping back a splash of water fills his vision he hears warning hiss as his opponent comes in view a devil of envy, He has already laid claim to them and he will not back down.

Unlike his one horn this male has two, two against one is hardly fair but that doesn't mean he'll stand down without a fight.

Before these two demons can fight for this potential mate, the human screams "STOP FUCKING AROUND!! I'M TRYING TO BATHE GET OUT!!"

[meltedmush]

Thank you @thisintermezzo for commissioning me! 🫶💖💖💖💖

This was so funny and fun to work on, especially it’s the very first regular Bingqiu kiss I’ve drawn! 😂

[beautiful-songbird]

We’re gonna play a little game

How many times did this guy

- offer advice

- send the 😎 emoji

- send a really awkwardly worded text

[brazilnt]

PLSSS I FOUND PICS

he said for the love of god pls just shut. the. fuck. up.

marco verratti is genuinely the funniest lil man ever like he’s just some guy with a short man’s temper that somehow pulled the baddest bitch and always always talks himself into a red card. my fave ever moment in psg history is when he was complaining to the ref and thiago came over and literally slapped his hand over his mouth, grabbed his lips and told him to just shut. up. right in front of the ref. marco is chaos. marco is grace. marco is genuinely all over the fucking place.

[sableeira]

when you have committed literal crimes but the crimes of your past that haunt you the most are the gay thoughts for your partner aka the person you hate most in this world

continuation to joke tags on this post. 15 Dazai was ready to haunt his 22 y/o self with some past mistakes…. instead Dazai is already suffering

[wikitpowers]

something about jamie campbell bower as jace wayland in the cob movie hit different oof…

[kingdaddydaichi]

Omggg poor Daichi! I can see him now, trying to act like it didn’t bother him to get pissed on by a bunch of dogs. He just

I fucking can’t 💀💀💀

And Suga! He didn’t embarrass himself! He was advertising! 😃

BO REACHING ACROSS THE TABLE LIKE “oh my bad, that’s mine thanks” ND FMDNSNANN

But I’m still CRYING AT MATTSUN! @anejuuuuoy come get your man! No srsly please before he sharts on me! 😫😭😭

he embarrasses himself in front of you

cw: second hand embarrassment 

ft: assorted hq folks

a/n: i wrote like i got beef but i dont hate any of them i promise 😅 or maybe… reblogs+feedback always appreciated~

Kuroo

Mf was trying to be smooth and casually lean on the wall next to you when you guys first met at a mutual friend's social gathering. His suit jacket didn't have enough traction and he ended up sliding right off the wall onto his knee HARD. Joked it off that he "fell for you from the start". After a few drinks will tease that it won't be the last time he gets on one knee in front of you.

Kenma

The first time you came over to his house, you had to sneeze and he wanted to be cute and cover your nose with a tissue for you but he did it so quickly he accidentally ripped the tissue when he pulled it out so he cupped your face with his bare hand. Bro caught your sneeze. In his hand. It's the thought that counts, Kennie.

Lev

Was so nervous when you went to his house for the first time that he made a misstep on the stairs he been walking up his whole goddamn life. Tried to laugh off the pain but .057 seconds later he burst into tears. It was a fractured elbow

Yaku

Was walking next to you on the street when you guys were in that in between stage of flirting and dating. Didn't look where he was going and landed halfway down a manhole, one leg still on the sidewalk. You had to help pull him up 💀 never mention this to him again. ever.

Bokuto

Your first date was a memorable one because of how messy this fool made it. Was so excited to be there with you that when you asked him a question after he took a bite of food, he immediately answered, making his half chewed piece of steak fly out on the very expensive tablecloth in front of you. Absolutely 5 second rule’d it.

Akaashi

The first time you invited him home to spend the holiday with your family, he got you two gifts. One to give you in front of your family and one to give you in private. He got the gifts mixed up and when you opened the box of lingerie in public, he panicked and snatched it from you with the excuse of, “sorry, that’s mine.”

Atsumu

When he was still crushing on you, a mosquito landed on your face. Mans gave you a lil love slap right on the cheek while you were talking to him. After Osamu broke four of his ten fingers, Atsumu apologized to you on his knees and gave you a bandaid from Kita.

Osamu

On your first home date, he cooked dinner for the both of you. He was so busy trying to show off his skills and cook a full meal that he didn't notice he accidentally poured himself soy sauce instead of wine until he choked on it in front of you and spit up on himself.

Suna

Invited you to one of his games after a few weeks of dating but he forgot to reserve the tickets so he had to buy them secondhand online. Turns out they were fake and you were turned away at the door 😭

Kita

When he was giving you a tour of his farm (🤠) he was showing off his homemade topsoil but he got the wrong barrel and dug hand first into manure. After he realized, he just stood there and stared at his shit hand (lol) in disbelief 

Daichi

Took you to a puppy park for a cute weekend date. He must have worn some type of cologne because everyone and their mother's dog came to piss on him. Y'all would be walking holding hands and dogs would just come up and wee on him. Smelt of pee the whole time and all the dogs were barking at him or trying to re-scent him.

Suga

Planned to make you a candlelit dinner after you two just moved in together. He must have been really tired after work because you came home to charcoal in the oven and him freshly showered, passed out butt ass naked on the bed.

Kageyama

Tsukishima pranked him before he went on his first date with you. When he pulled his wallet out to pay for dinner, there was no money, only condoms. Dug in his jacket pockets to see if he had any spare change. More condoms. This all happened in front of the waiter. Kags swore they weren't his and went "this is our first date! I don't even know how to use these!" Dead. Serious.

Hinata

The first time you came to visit him at practice, he ran towards you with his arms open to give you a hug. Another player was practicing and full on tackled Hinata from the side, sending him off his feet and flying. Caught major air time

Tsukishima 

When you picked him up from the airport, you two took the stairs instead of the escalator to exit. You were telling him how much you missed him and after teasing you, he pulled your chin to look at him but ended up slipping down ass first on the stairs with a "I missed you twUwoOoOoO" on the way down

Oikawa

Dramatic ass tried to surprise you for your birthday but got a flat on the way there and accidentally locked himself out of his vehicle. His phone was inside and he didn't want to hitch a ride w someone bc tabloids so he walked to the venue. Showed up late sweaty af and greased up. Pictures of him from that night are still being traded in the gc as Oikawa SSR’s

Iwaizumi

Was dropping you home when his mom called him. He wirelessly answered it while he was driving only for her to ask him if he tried the constipation medicine she got him. He tried to steer the conversation away and told her he'd call back later but she started yelling at him so he had to answer all her questions in front of you

Matsukawa

Jokingly sat on your lap for movie night and accidentally let one rip when he laughed too hard. It was a really long one. Long enough for you two to make solid eye contact while he was. still. farting on your lap. Tried to clench but it kept puffing out as he got off of you.

Hanamaki

Ordered a bouquet of flowers to surprise you with. When they delivered it, your name was spelled wrong. The delivery man pulled up the invoice and showed it to Makki and you. You could clearly see that he did spell your name wrong in the text box and that he paid with a coupon to get the bouquet for free.

Tendou

Took you into a haunted house once as a date. Lowkey got spooked and tried to grab your hand and make a run for it but he accidentally grabbed one of the workers dressed up as a ghost. You, still in the tent, heard his shrill ass scream all the way from the outside when he finally turned around and they had to shut down the attraction because they got a noise complaint.

Ushijima

You were on a date when he bent down to tie your shoelaces for you (awww), but his big juicy thick enormous gigantic humongous thighs popped his pants and they split from the crotch straight down the leg. A toddler in a stroller nearby caught the scene and started screaming and pointing at Toshi. He had to borrow your sweater and wear it around his hips ala avril lavigne circa 2005

Sakusa

When he proposed, he did that thing where you ask the chef to put the ring in the food ok that’s enough pinterest for u omi but you didn’t find it and were blissfully unaware. When he asked “is there anything you would like to say to me?” and you said “nope, the food’s great” he took that as you turning him down. Sulked like a baby for three days then got piss drunk and had Komori bring him home to which he started crying (!!!)  and asked why you don’t love him. When you tell him you never got the ring, he freezes, sucks his tears back in and respectfully dies on site.

🖤This blog features dark content in fiction for entertainment purposes. I do not condone or support such themes irl. What you chose to interact with is your own responsibility. Don’t like, don’t read. Minors, please follow the honor system and do not interact with me regarding 18+ content.

DO NOT RE-POST, TRANSLATE, USE OR RECOMMEND MY WORK ANYWHERE. ALL WORKS ARE AGED UP.

[doctorsiren]