#I’m sorry it’s too big it’s not sexy bro come on now

[raenef]

Think it’s funny I resized the Mr stud mod more than half smaller and it’s still too fucking big lmao

[muscleloverz69]

Jock Juice

Ned was very anxious about moving into his dorm. Without knowing anyone at the university he had no choice but to go random and as luck would have it the only spots left were in the athletes housing. Ned had no interest in sports and found jocks completely obnoxious. Being a nerdy gay man Ned tried his best to steer clear but now his hands were tied. When Ned walked into his room he was met by a total jock. 

Jack was well over 6 feet tall with a square jaw, biceps that stretched the sleeves of his tee and pants that left little to the imagination. Ned was embarrassed when he felt his dick twinge but he quickly ignored it. “Hey bro you must be the roomie, sup.” Jack extended a fist which Ned awkwardly bumped.

Jack turned out to be not nearly as bad as Ned was anticipating. Actually he was pretty nice. He did come back really late from parties and his football gear was littered around the entire room but Ned enjoyed being able to watch Jack change from the corner of his eye. Ned was being driven crazy, staring at the bulging muscles and broad figure of his roommate.

One day as Jack pulled off his pants after a day of classes, he noticed Ned staring at his big bulge. “Hey dude it's ok to look, I’m actually gay too.”

Ned felt his face go red but his mind was reeling from the revelation. “Oh sorry-.” Jack interrupted, “Seriously dude it's fine honestly I’d be down to have some fun with you but you need to know something first.”

Ned couldn’t believe his ears, “You’d want to fuck me?”

“Yeah but dude the thing is I have a curse.”

Ned looked confused as Jack explained, “I used to be a nerd just like you but one day I fucked a jock and now I look like this.” Jack flexed one of his thick biceps.

“Now whenever someone comes in contact with my fluids they become a jock too, it doesn't matter what they looked like before, nerds, girls, old guys they all become jocks.”

Ned stared at his sexy roommate for a moment, he couldn’t be serious, this had to be some kind of prank but he didn’t care. Ned crossed the room and pulled Jack into a deep kiss. Ned laughed in his head for a minute before he felt a gentle fog fall on his brain. Jack pushed Ned off “Bruh I wasnt fucking with you, are you ok.”

“Bro--I mean Jack, I feel fine I think. Whatever, I'm going to bed.” Ned wanted to die. He thought Jack was a nice guy. Why would he pull such a mean prank, although he had no idea why he called Jack bro.

The next morning Ned woke up earlier than usual. He looked himself down in the mirror, he looked the same. Since he woke up early though Ned decided he might as well do something productive and went over to the campus gym.

Ned got to the gym and quickly remembered he had no idea what he was doing. That’s when Jack came up to him, “Hey bro, sorry about last night I guess you’re into the gym now, need some help?”

“Uh sure that’d be cool dud--Jack thanks.”

The two guys worked out together for the next couple hours, after Jack handed Ned a towel and as he did his sweaty hand brushed into his roommates. Ned hardly took note but did feel very tired from the workout.

Ned and Jack walked to the showers together. Ned started rubbing his body down with soap as he noticed some muscle he didn’t remember having. Nowhere near as much as Jack but his shoulders did seem broader, his chest protruded out just a bit, and his abs were showing. As he continued soaping his body he noticed his dick. It was throbbing hard and not only that it looked larger than he ever remembered it. Ned was hit with an overwhelming burning lust. He furiously started jacking off in the shower before cumming all over the tile floor.

Meanwhile Jack felt worried about Ned. He knew the kiss from the night before would result in some minor changes but as long as he was careful it didn’t have to go further unless he knew that’s what Ned wanted. Jack was torn though cute nerds like Ned were exactly his type and he wanted nothing more than to worship that thin nerdy body. 

Later that night Ned tried to study for his Calc exam but couldn’t remember anything. He was sure the questions must have been written wrong because nothing made sense. On top of that all he could think about was Jack’s body. He was losing his mind.

Ned stood up and faced Jack who was mindlessly scrolling on his phone. “Bro I need you inside me.” Jack met Ned’s start 

“You sure bro?”

Ned jumped on top of Jack quickly ripping off his pants revealing muscular thighs and an almost footlong dick. Jack yelped in surprise but couldn’t stop himself from letting Ned’s tongue slide down his shaft. Jack’s hips bucked as Ned got face fucked. Pre entered Nick’s mouth, causing his biceps to enlarge to 18 inches, his face sharpened into a chiseled look although Jack could hardly notice as Nick deepthroated his monster dick. 

Jack began moaning louder, gripping Nick’s enlarged muscular ass before cumming right down Nick’s throat. Nick swallowed load after load before rolling off to the side. Nick felt an even heavier fog descend on his brain. All he could think about was sports, working out and, bussy.

Nick got up and tried to put on his tee shirt which was now skin tight. “Dude that was fuckin sick!” Jack was still laying in bed disappointed. Jack stared at Nicks new thick cock and massive muscles uninterestedly. Jack was really only attracted to nerds.

Nick laughed “Bro I gotta find some other nerd to blow me.”

[lovingmachinee]

Disco Yeti

Ant x black male reader

Set in season 1

Reader is new student

Reader and Ant get it on at that one carnival party thingy

Reader goes on stage to do his sexy thingy while ant watches

(kind of like that one darren and cash scene)

Wine pon you by doja cat in mind for the dance part

[name] pov

“Are you even listening?” I saw fingers being snapped in front of my face and woke up out of my daze. I turn my head to make eye contact with the finger snapper to see Darren with an annoyed expression. 

“Yeah of course I am” I lied through my teeth. 

“really?” Darren asked, I nod keeping up my facade, “Because I know you are busy staring at disco yeti over there” They said pointing towards Ant.

Anthony was a peculiar guy to say the least, very loud and dumb at some times and his friend group was something too. I hate Spider just like everyone else. But sometimes Ant’s antics canceled his stupid friend out. Ant is very nice and very funny, at least that’s the side he showed me ever since I came here, and ever since I gave him tutoring lessons on Spanish.

I always kind of admired Ant in a weird way. And now I of course can’t keep my eyes off him while he’s wearing that light up coat, It’s cool. 

“Well I mean you can’t really avoid looking at a disco yeti” I say looking back at Darren. “Ugh ok just let me finish my story and then you can fawn over him again” They say, getting a disgusted face out of me, at least that’s what I tried to show. 

Darren gave Ant a handy once. I remember from the whole incest map, kind of a weird thing to see on my first day here. “Is he big?” I ask, interrupting Darren’s story. Darren looks offended at me interrupting and decides to not answer my question. “You know what I’m so done with you” They say grabbing their drink from the bar and turning back to me again “Come back when you’re done being fucked dumb by Ant over there”. Darren walked away. I felt sorry for interrupting their story but at the same time kind of happy because they just confirmed that Ant is indeed big.

I stood there alone, I could just go to another person and talk with them but right now I wanted something else. I wanted Ant, not in a lovey dovey way at least I think. 

I looked over at him and accidentally caught him staring at me. He was in the middle of the dance floor standing with Dust? Dusty? Meh forget it this wasn’t about him. I tried to maintain eye contact but Ant kept avoiding it by pretending he’s listening to what Dusty’s saying.

I started walking towards him. Grabbing a drink that was sitting on a tray a server walked with, on my way. This time Ant did make eye contact with me and I was surprised he kept it till I was standing in front of him.

Dusty noticed me “You know what I’m going to check on Harper, bro” he said. “Yea cool” Ant said, still not breaking eye contact. Dusty walked away. Now it was my time.

“Hi” Ant started, the lights from the party and his coat shining on his face. “Hi” I responded, smiling up at him. We stayed silent for a sec, but not an awkward one more of a silence with tension. 

Ant smiled. “Wanna dance?” He proposed to me holding his hand out for me to take. “Why what a gentleman” I responded, taking his hand “I would love to dance with you” I said after. '`Great” He said, leading us to a more crowded space since the people around us started seperating. 

Once we were in the middle crowd we started dancing. I move swiftly to the song playing in the back, moving my hands along my, because of the light on my dark skin, purple glistening body. Ant moves along with me, us both enjoying each other's company.

I turn around with my back against Ant’s chest and roam my hands through his light up twister coat and run them up along his neck. “You know you’re really beautiful” He speaks in my ear, as his hands touch my waist. “Sorry I didn’t mention it earlier” He says after, making me laugh. 

I turn around to face him again. “You’re forgiven, besides I didn’t spend so much time getting ready for you to not notice me” I say putting my arms around his shoulder. His nose is so big… I’m trailing off, maybe I should just focus on what he’s saying.

“So you’re saying you got ready just for me” Ant says, showing a big goofy grin, kind of reminding me of what a child he is outside of this situation. “Well” I said, not really having an answer, he got me there. Ant lets out a loud laugh, making me hit him in the chest. “God you’re such a child” I said.

“Aw did I get you there [name]?” 

I decided to ignore that question and led Ant’s hands back to my waist. “Just shut up or else I’m going to find someone else to dance with” I say making eye contact with him. “O well we wouldn’t want that to happen” He says dancing with me again.

We continue dancing for a while until the announcer steps up on stage with a microphone in her hand. “The ball is officially starting with our first category: NIGHT FOR WINE!”. I started getting excited, Darren already told me about all the categories coming on and this was the exact one I wanted to participate in.

“Sorry Ant but this is my category” I say, letting go of his neck and getting ready to get on stage. “Night for wine? Sounds interesting” Ant says, his hand lingering around my waist. “Do I look good?” I ask him quickly.

“You never do not look good” He grinned. I let out a little giggle before walking away, but before I do I look back “By the way you might wanna see this so get frontrow” I say before finally walking away. 

I stand by the stairs with Darren waiting for the announcer to start the music. “Are you ready cunt” They say, looking at me and holding my shoulders tight. “I do not wish anything good for Ant but you better give your best show” Darren says after trying to hide their disgusted face.

“And now let the ball begin, first category: Night for wine, which means y'all better have some sturdy knees” The announcer says, making the crowd “ooooo”. “Hit it” the announcer says after as a hint for the DJ to start the music.

Darren went up first having known no such thing as no nerves. The crowd already goes hype over Darren’s moves and it woke me up to get on the stage.

I walked on stage moving my hips just like I practiced. I start wining and spreading my legs, going under them seeing the crowd through my legs. Through my legs I can see Ant staring at me in awe, Darren was right this would work on him. 

I start walking around more on the stage, having a face-off with Darren for who can be the most sensual while the music was still playing in the back. I did all my tricks one leg up in the air, grinding down on the floor, swinging my hands in the air and letting them roam all over my body.

I look over towards Ant again and see him smirking.

Now it was time. I move forward and crouch with my knees spread. I get on my hands and knees and lay my chest down on the stage while lifting up my rear with my legs spread, all while keeping eye contact with Ant. The crowd started cheering more.

I slowly start letting my rear go down both legs going the other way resulting in a split mustering the best fuck-me-eyes towards Ant. The announcer came back on stage “Alright alright we got a winner” she said. I started to roll and lifted my leg in the air while sitting still putting up my show even though it was already done.

I stood up, got my prize and left the stage already walking over towards Ant, who had gotten two drinks for the both of us.

“That was hot” Ant says, smirking, giving me a drink. “Thanks”, I accept the drink, there are not many words I can say after being so … open on stage

“Say, do you have something to do after this whole party thingy?” Ant asks. I take a sip of my drink, “Well I was probably going to go somewhere with Amerie and the rest, but I can skip it because it sounds like you want to propose something” I say turning my head sideways.

Ant chuckles, “Well I do have some Spanish words I need to learn, so if you want to come over to tutor me” he says. “Got any movies we can watch?” I ask. 

“Does Spider-Man sound good?” Ant says, giving me his hand just like he did when he asked me to dance. I take his hand “It would be a pleasure to tutor you” I say. 

He drags me away from the crowd, out the club.

He’s such a dork.

this sounds so cornyyy PLEASSEE. hopefully the dance moves translated as how I envisioned them.

[filmbyjy]

i loveeed ur poly imagine!! Could u make more? Maybe like what dating each ship is like?

a/n: oooo yes of course!! and so sorry for taking so long with this request😔 been extremely busy.

taglist[perm]: @ja4hyvn @ahnneyong @milklix @kar0ki @sugarsunoo

-

enhypen poly: what is it like to date each ship (popular ones)

| HEEJAKE / RAMYEONZ

man this ain’t fair >:(

sim jaeyun share some of heeseung with me :(

bye bc jake acts so baby girl around heeseung it’s actually so funny and cute at the same time

I mean honestly, same. jake, you have a valid reason to be acting like that

but anyways, what is it like to date heejake?

well for one thing, you definitely would be third wheeling them most of the times

“hyunggggg, come quick!! the round is starting!”

queue heeseung bolting back into the room as you were sitting on the bed.

don’t be sad though. they do hang out more than you hang out with them but they know when to step in and make you feel loved.

I also won’t deny. you’ve got two most flirtiest people to date

so pretty much expect to get attacked 24/7

because seriously they will out of nowhere give you that sexy ass look before leaning down to kiss you

which btw kissing your lips is their favourite past time.

100% makeout session like most of the time.

jake does it the most though. heeseung will just be playing his game.

“babe, i’m gonna order something.” heeseung says as he turns around to you and jake literally making out on the bed.

“let’s get some pizza.” jake says after he pulls away from lips. he goes back to kissing you after heeseung hums.

they are also clingy so enjoy that

| JAKEHOON aka SOULMATES

with heejake, your relationship is more chaotic but with jakehoon, it’s more chill.

when it comes to the both of them, I believe jake is more chill whilst hoon is the chaotic high energy one

literally manhandles you on the bed to get a kiss from you

“STRONG MAN.” sunghoon shouts.

jake is still cuddly but he plays it more safe.

for one thing, they will constantly ask you to choose between layla or gaeul

“babe babe, layla or gaeul?” jake says.

you can’t choose either one of them😔 they are both too adorable

“asking me to choose between layla or gaeul is literally like asking me who is the better boyfriend.” you deadpan.

“so, layla or gaeul?” sunghoon says.

you never answer that question and choose to avoid it at all cost.

ah speaking of layla and gaeul, you officially have two fur babies!

which means you are dubbed as layla and gaeul’s mother

and yes, you get to cuddle layla and gaeul. if the boys are out doing their own thing, you have layla and gaeul to yourselves

now put aside the puppers, I believe jakehoon are pretty affectionate.

sure, sunghoon is all tsundere and shit but really he just gets a little flustered to be soft.

so like just give him a big hug and cuddle

| JAYWON / MEOWZ

bro, I wanna date jaywon

THEY SEEM SO BOYFRIEND AND PERFECT CANDIDATES OF LIKE POLY RELATIONSHIP

THEY’D TREAT YOU SO DAMN RIGHT I SWEAR

jay makes dinner while you and jungwon just sit and cuddle

like hello?? that’s the most perfect scene

and if you are the same age as jay (like me😏) then both you and jay will baby jungwon

“wonie.” you pout.

“noona.” he smiles.

STOP THATS SO CUTE. I WANNA CUDDLE JUNGWON👺

UNFAIR

affection with them is the best

jay loves cuddling you

in fact, the both of them curl up to you like actual cats☹️🥺

this is them with you

I want this yoi

and yes that means you have joined the yoi cult

every single sentence you have includes yoi bc of jungwon

“jagiya, do you want to eat?” jungwon asks.

“yoi.” you answer.

“yoi.” jungwon says.

thats true love right there🫶🏻

| SUNKI aka please come back I miss you two together💔

god sunki was something else :(

i’m going to like say this was puberty and ni-ki still loves sunoo very much

I know the boy still adores him

anyways, how is it like dating sunki?

well for one thing, it feels like you are babysitting ni-ki

you wanna try to have a normal date but nah ni-ki doesn’t allow it

sunoo already planned like a picnic date

but suddenly it’s a football date??

but like the both of you aren’t complaining much, ni-ki is still baby. you want him to live out his childhood as much as possible

ni-ki is extremely cuddly whilst sunoo is okay with affection

“noona, i want a hug!” ni-ki appears out of nowhere with his arms wide out.

you give in bc ni-ki deserves it

the only time he doesn’t deserve it is when he plays pranks on both you and sunoo. neither of you can take it

“should we give ni-ki the silent treatment?” sunoo asks.

“how about no cuddles till next week?”

“noooo noona :(( please i need cuddles.” ni-ki pouts.

STOP I WANNA SQUISH HIM :(

I wont lie, yours and sunoo’s patience has definitely improved a lot since ni-ki was in the picture

like dude you may just become jay’s level of unbothered

[yamamasjumpercables]

Animosity

Chris!Sturniolo x Fem!Reader

Warnings: Cussing and some occasional boners

a/n: I’m finally back from the dead

For as long as You have been friends with the triplets, You always knew that Chris had something against You. He was Your biggest hater. You tried to show Nick a new dress you had bought, and there he was detesting Your whole existence. Whenever you spoke, there he was to interpret You with the same 3 phrases. That being “why the fuck are your speaking”, “doesn’t that big mouth of yours ever get tired” or “close your mouth or flies will come in”. Either way he loathed you. You, Matt and Nick don’t know where this hate came from but, all You guys knew it wouldn’t come in the way of your friendship. At first You were hurt by the comments, the cold glares and attitude. As time went by You started to find his hate, somewhat, amusing. I mean you know what they say if you have haters you must be doing something right, and in this case You were always right.

Right now You and the triplets were getting ready for a gala You had been invited to by one of your colleagues at work. You didn’t want to go alone to the gala so You decided to invite them including Chris, even though Matt and Nick were telling You that You didn’t have to invite Chris and one of them would stay home with Chris. Yet You refused to leave Chris out just because of his attitude towards You, besides You decided it would be fun to piss him off the entire night. Purposefully You bought a dress that looked most flattering on Your body. Your hair was down, and gold jewelry adorned Your neck and ears. Your makeup wasn’t anything over the top, You kept sexy but simple. Nick walked into his bathroom where You were getting ready, to tell you that they were ready to head out. “You look amazing Y/n, the baddest bitch here” Nick said clapping his hands excitedly. “Thank you, you look so amazing Nick” You say with happily. “We have to get going you guys” Matt says walking into Nick’s room to see what’s taking you guys so long. “Omg Y/n you look absolutely beautiful” Matt says covering his mouth in awe. “Thank you Matt you don’t look too bad yourself” You say smiling, then walking up to him to fix his tie. “We should hurry before big mouth starts yelling and pisses me off” Nick says rolling his eyes. “I heard that fuck face” Chris says walking to the almost crowded bathroom. “Can you guys hurry up I’ve been here for 5 seconds and Y/n is already making me lose my appetite” Chris says giving You a disgusted look. “If I’m making you lose you appetite then look away, oh my bad you can’t I’m to sexy I know” You say with a smirk on Your face, turning around shaking your ass a little. “You see Chris, you didn’t even need to say that she’s very pretty” Matt says coming to your defense. “Yea pretty ugly, now let’s go I don’t have time for this shit” Chris says scoffing walking out the bathroom. “I’m so sorry for him Y/n” Nick says putting his hand on your shoulder. “It’s ok Nick I know he’s secretly in love with me” You say putting your hand on Nick’s. “In your fucking dreams” Chris says stoping in his tracks. “Hmm looks like I’ll be dreaming real good tonight then” You say walking up to Chris, caressing his face. Chris attempts to swat your hands away, but you grab his hands and placed them on your waist. Putting your arms around his neck pulling him closer. “When you want to stop acting like a fucking cunt and an asshole, I’ll be waiting for you in your room, how ever you want me. It’s up to you” You whispered in his ear seductively, looking at him in the eyes as you walked out Nick’s room. “You good bro, you might wanna handle that” Matt says to Chris, addressing his massive boner. “Ye-Yea let’s just” Chris says coming back to reality, fixing his tie.

As Chris didn’t think this night could get any worse, he had to sit in the back with You while Nick and Matt were in the front. Since You and Nick were in charge of the aux, you guys decided to put the music on full blast. It was mainly some chill songs until, Partition by Beyoncé came on. Which happens to be You and Nick’s favorite song, You were feeling on your self in a sultry way, making strong eye contact with Chris. But a specific part of the song came on and You and Nick sung your hearts out. “Oh he so horny, yeah he want to fuck, He bucked all my buttons, he ripped my blouse” You and Nick both sang out, while you pulled down the strap of your dress just a little bit for a little tease (on the blouse part). “Handprints and good grips all on my ass” You and Nick sang, while you arch You back feeling on Your ass a bit. At this point Chris was getting harder by the second. Wishing he was just a the gala to get away from You. But he knew if You kept acting like this it was going to be a long night.

I’m sorry I have been gone for a while… But I’m back now and my beautiful wife @worldlxvlys gave me some inspiration for this fic (Anna is literally a goddess) but imma make a part 2 of this soon enough (Still don’t have a tag list, lmk if you guys would like to be apart of one if I make it)…

I love yall<3

[orgxnas]

Hunger Games Characters and Their Favorite Classic Frat Banger™️

Katniss

Moment 4 Life by Nicki Minaj

Let’s be honest she not the frat party type

But this song just… speaks to her

Like Nicki’s whole opening verse? Oh yeah she a Nicki fan

“In this very moment, I’m king/ In this very moment, I slayed Goliath with a sling” and she did

She likes how slow-paced the song is too

Really makes her stop and think about how lucky she is that she made it out and that the odds were literally stacked against her from the start

“Cause I’m still hood, Hollywood (the Capitol) couldn’t change me/ Shout out to my haters, sorry that you couldn’t faze me!” WHAT

Peeta

Sexy Bitch by David Guetta

He’s fr tryna find a way to describe this girl (Katniss) without being disrespectful

Loooovvveeesss the white girl tunes

Katniss loves watching him when the song comes on bc he just gets so silly!

The horrors cannot break him when David Guetta is playing

Gale

Mr. Brightside by The Killers/ Mo Bamba by Sheck Wes

OFC HE WOULD ARE YOU KIDDING

Once Mr. Brightside comes on Gale is already drunk asf

Takes the lyrics suuuupppeeerrr personally

Guilt-trip-sings at Katniss. Lowkey mean to Peeta😭

NOW ALTERNATIVELY

Some of you may have opposing views, but Gale would def join a frat

“No Katniss you don’t get it, it’s not about partying or getting girls, it’s about brotherhood and community service” yeah sure

Mo Bamba is def Frat Boy!Gale’s fav song

Haymitch

Wipe Me Down (Remix) by Foxx, Webbie, and Lil Boosie

old ahh mf

Bro gets INTO it

Once he gets to the middle of that dance circle, he does not stop moving

Katniss is horror struck bc no way this is the same Haymitch she met back in 12??

Peeta records it for whenever him and Katniss need a laugh

Effie LOVES that bro is finally cutting loose

Effie

Va Va Voom by Nicki Minaj

she would LOVE Nicki in her Roman era

Loves Nicki period

Loves how the music sounds

She IS the main attraction

“Just met a boy, just met a boy when/ he could become my little problem” and she was thinking abt Haymitch (I will ship them until the day I die)

What does Va Va Voom even mean? Only Nicki and Ms. Trinket knows

Finnick

Temperature by Sean Paul

oh his slutty lil hips

They be MOVIN

Keeps insane eye contact while he dance it’s a miracle every girl there didn’t leave pregnant from the eye contact alone

Knows how hot he looks dancing to this song and knows that even though every girl there wants him, he goes home to Annie at the end of the night

Johanna

I Don’t Fuck With You by Big Sean

OF COURSE THIS IS HER FAV

Looks mfs dead in the face while singing

Accidentally (on purpose) flipped off President Snow when this song was playing

She cannot dance

But noooo one is gonna tell her that

One time during an interview with Caesar she hijacked the interview and performed this song on national television. Didn’t get very far tho bc they cut the cameras QUICK (I was there)

[raspberryjars]

It’s just how we are

word count: 2,314

summary: there’s been something between them for weeks, it finally comes to a head after amerie’s party

tags: spider/ant, underage sex, underage drinking, explicit

tag list!! (lmk if you want to be removed or added)

@spo0kypigeon@hobiesgender@perfectstrawberrybanana@insanity-is-brewing@just-cosmere-fan@sambuckyera

Through his alcohol addled mind all he could think of was how much he wanted to taste the fake blood around Spider’s mouth. It looked, like, good. The way it was smeared around his mouth after a few hours of drinking made him look oddly hot. Like a sexy vampire. Like, obviously he was dressed as a vampire but he was a sexy vampire. There was just something about it.

It was probably the party, making him think too much about stuff. Anything that reminded him too much of the map stuff did that if he was honest. And, like, this whole party was sort of a big fat map reminder. Like, it wasn’t like he hated Amerie for what she did, she wasn’t the only person who’d talked about what happened with him and Darren. But now, like, everyone knew. And that made him hate her just a bit.

But in her defence, she seemed pretty different now. She’d been pretty chill and everything, and she’d been sort of sorry when he'd told her about his mum. But yeah. It was probably just everything that had happened and all the booze that was making him think too much about Spider. Like, he’d been noticing all this shit about him. The way his hands lingered on his shoulders, and the way he always looked at him and the way he literally knew what he was thinking all the time? They’d always been like that but it felt different now. It was confusing.

There wasn’t any point thinking too much about it though. Him and Spider were simple. They were just the way they were and there wasn’t really a way to describe it. Like, they weren’t brothers, that would be weird, they were closer than that. There wasn’t a word for what they were.

“You right man?”

Spider’s words jolted him out of his train of thought and he realised how long he’d been staring at nothing.

“Yeah man I’m good.”

That was probably a normal thing for him to say? It was like he’d suddenly forgotten how to talk to him. Again, probably a side effect of how drunk he was. But it was fine, Spider was, like, also really drunk so he probably didn’t think he was being weird.

Then suddenly Spider’s thumb was brushing his cheek, skimming over his painted-on cheek intent things; he wasn’t actually sure what they were, but Spider was touching them. And they were making eye contact in a different way than usual. It was sort of, tender?

“You look, nice.” Spider whispered to him. So quiet that he swore he imagined it. He almost wanted to ask him what he meant. He didn’t. But he wanted to.

Ant just grinned at him and reached for another bottle of beer, opening it with his teeth and looking away from his friend. They were both being weird tonight. They’d forgotten how to act around each other for some reason. It was usually so natural, maybe he was thinking too hard about it. Or maybe it wasn’t him, maybe Spider was being weird. He wasn’t sure. It was hard to think about.

Just as he was going to say something to him, ask him something, tell a joke, he wasn’t sure. His thought process was interrupted by loud cheering from outside.

“Shit man let's check that out.”

He grinned and followed Spider as he walked through Amerie’s house, leading them outside to where people were gathered around in the garden cheering up at the roof. He looked over at his friend as they weaved through the groups of people, coming to a stop near a trampoline.

He looked up to see what was actually happening and saw Malakai wobbling around on the ledge, talking some shit about jumping off, he looked around at the people chanting and then at the trampoline and called out.

“Oi. Bro, use this.”

He and Spider ran to move it as more people cheered. It was probably just the party but this shit was gonna be sick.

He could hear some people laughing and some people screaming for it to stop and he watched as Malakai continued talking, laughing along as he waited for him to either jump or walk back down when suddenly he was grabbed by some guy. Loud booing erupted as the crowd started walking away and going back to doing whatever.

Spider scoffed and turned to him, “This is dead bro, let’s go back yours yeah?”

“Sure man, my parents won’t be back ‘till, like, next week”

“Sick.”

They stumbled their way inside to find Dusty and some others as they laughed to each other about stupid shit. It wasn’t as weird now, whatever had been between them before was gone. And as they leant up against Amerie’s walls together looking out for Dusty, it felt normal, like nothing was different. Like there’d never been a map, and there wasn’t any reason for Spider to think he was gay or anything.

Then as they spotted Dusty and and he basically told them to fuck off, and Spider snorted and looked back at him, he felt the pull from before. The weird tension that kept coming between them, it was weird how it kept happening.

“Let’s go man.” Spider said.

He nodded and they walked out together, swaying and slightly uneven, they walked in mostly silence, the weird energy staying between them, even as he unlocked his door and they stumbled up the stairs they didn’t say anything. It was like there was something Spider wanted to say, but didn’t, so they were both just silent.

As he sat down on his bed next to his friend, he couldn’t help but think about the way he looked again. There was just something about the fake blood and fangs, and the way his hair was slicked back. He really did look hot. It was like at Mardi Gras, Spider looked good, and he could see it and appreciate it.

Spider was staring at him with a certain look in his eye, something different then his usual looks. But he knew what it meant, it was obvious to him what he was trying to say. Something unspoken between them that couldn’t be put into words.

He looked back at him, his eyes flickering to his mouth with that fucking fake blood and those stupidly sexy vampire teeth and he knew what was going to happen, he could just tell.

Spider reached across and grabbed the front of his skeleton suit, bringing their faces closer, he could smell the beer on his breath and almost feel his lips against his own. The feeling teasing him. They sat like that for a few short seconds, the anticipation building before he gave in and smashed their lips together. Grabbing Spider’s neatly gelled hair as he deepened the kiss.

He could feel the others hands winding around his neck and travelling down his collarbones coming to a stop just above the zipper of his suit. As they broke the kiss to gasp for air, Spider looked at him again and placed kisses along his jaw, his neck, slowly moving to his chest as he opened the front of the costume.

“Fuck..” He whispered as he felt heat rushing through him, after weeks of weird tension and awkward moments, it had all come to a head here and he finally understood everything that had been happening.

Spider’s oddly tolerant reaction to him getting a wristy from someone who clearly wasn’t a chick, the way he’d just dropped the topic when he realised what was happening with his mum, it wasn’t really very Spider-like, but it made sense now. As he was being undressed by the guy and could see his obvious hard-on.

He grabbed Spider’s jaw and brought his face back up to his own, turning them over so that he was laying over the top of his friend, they lay like that for a moment, their lips so close they were practically sharing a breath. He felt higher from this than he had from any drug. The feeling didn’t compare to anything else, no girl, or Darren, had ever made him feel like this.

Spider surged his head upwards and their lips met once again, the push and pull between them starting once again. It was weird how natural this felt, it should probably be weirder, hooking up with his best friend since literally forever, but it just felt right. Like it was always going to happen.

He groaned into his mouth as he felt Spider’s leg between his own, he rolled onto his back, panting for air and his friend followed, kneeling over the top of him, his arms shaking as he held himself up with hands placed on either side of his head.

Their eyes met again and an understanding passed between them for what was about to happen. They knew what it meant, it probably wouldn’t make sense to anyone that wasn’t them, but that was just how they were.

He felt sort of stupid, his hair probably a mess from Spider’s hands running through it, makeup probably everywhere and the top of his costume unzipped exposing his chest plus Spider’s fake blood was probably all over him. He saw his friend’s eyes flick up and down his body and suddenly Spider reached down and pulled off his own shirt.

It felt more real, what was happening, now that he could see his friend half-naked. Like, he’d seen him fully naked enough times, but this was different. And as they looked at each other and breathed deeply, he couldn’t help but wonder how long he’d actually wanted this.

Spider came back down to kiss him, his tongue moving against Ant’s own, he wriggled his arms out of the stupid onesie-thing he had on and began pushing his legs out of the rest of it, leaving him in nothing but his boxers. He suddenly felt very aware of Spider’s jeans, the way the rough material scraped against his overly sensitive nerves was grating.

He began unbuckling his belt, struggling slightly without being able to look, but after a few seconds it was discarded on his floor, and he began impatiently shoving the other’s jeans down.

Spider drew back from their kiss and rested their heads against one another, their breathing in sync.

“Fuck, fuck, fuck.” He whispered. He could feel Spider’s messed up hair against his jaw as he buried his face into his shoulder, he could feel the vibrations of the other boys breathing as he tried to regain his breath. He was so focused on feeling that when he suddenly felt long fingers and a cool ring against his cock he gasped loudly, his body jolting against his mattress. He felt Spider’s grin as he started twisting his hand.

The feeling was euphoric. Different to when he was alone at the dead of night, and different to the hazy memories of Darren’s hands at a party. This was just, so, so, good. He couldn’t help but let out a whine as Spider’s hand slipped away. Flushing deeply once he realised the noise he’d just let out.

“Shit man, fuck.” Spider whispered as he propped himself up over Ant’s body once again.

He grinned up at his friend and laughed slightly at his pink cheeks and mussed up hair. Why they hadn’t tried this sooner he didn’t know.

He felt fingers plucking at his waist band and slowly his boxers were tugged down to reveal him completely, the cool air making him groan slightly. He felt Spider’s eyes on him and he turned his head away from him, looking across his room, catching sight of their position in the mirror on his wardrobe.

He felt a hand grip his face and turn him to look back into his friends eyes. Spider’s eyes were searching his face for a sign of reluctance or something, he could see the hesitation lining his face. He smirked and wrapped his hands around his friend’s waist, hands slipping down the back of his boxers and their lips met again.

Carefully he slipped Spider’s boxers down his legs and watched through a half lidded gaze as he kicked them off his ankles.

He was suddenly very aware of how naked they were, he wasn’t sure where to go from here, like, obviously he knew how it worked, he just wasn’t sure how it would work with Spider.

He gripped the back of the other’s thigh and squeezed, hoping that he got the message. Seemingly it worked, as Spider brought his hand back to his cock, and continued what he’s started before.

There wasn’t much Ant was able to think about, most of his brain had been rendered completely useless, though he managed to use whatever energy he had left to take his own hand and begin to palm at Spider above him. The other let out a wobbly moan as he picked up the pace.

There wasn’t really a way to describe how they were acting other than the fact that this wasn’t a want, this was a need. This was necessary, and as the heat built behind his gut, tugging on his mind as he toed the edge of pleasure all he could really think of was Spider.

Spider, Spider, Spider. Spider in all his dick-ish, rude, arrogant, handsome glory.

Spider was the only person able to make him feel like this. It made sense really, he thought as he felt himself fall over the edge. Letting out a cry as he came. Spider followed soon after, hot white liquid covering their bare chests and Ant’s bed sheets.

“Shit bro.” Ant gasped.

Spider laughed and thumbed his cheek, reminding him of earlier that night. Ant bit his cheek and looked at his ceiling.

“You still think I look nice?”

[doctorweebmd]

i wanted to ask u basically everything from the fanfic ask game but hopefully these aren’t too many:

🤡, 🦅, 🧠(tenko!), 🎉, ✅

RANI AHHH I LOVE YOU THANK YOU YOU'RE SO GOOD TO MEEEf

Of course i wrote too much i'm sorry lmaoooooo

🤡 - oh definitely! i think all my best jokes are in 'my brother's keeper.' My fave it probably this groupchat from chapter 4:

SharkWeek🦈: afjakljdfalkdjsflasl;dfajsldf;jaldfjasl;df SharkWeek🦈: you have to be fucking kidding me, man Spidey🕸️: this is the plot of every porn ever Spidey🕸️: on Thanksgiving, turkey isn’t the only thing that’s gonna get stuffed Spidey🕸️: on Christmas, the present won’t be the only package he’s opening Spidey🕸️: birthday? Surprise its more dick  Pikachu⚡: YOUR EX IS YOUR STEPBROTHER Pikachu⚡: bitch you nasty Bakuhoe💥: who the fuck changed my name in this groupchat Bakuhoe💥: this shit ISNT FUNNY Bakuhoe💥: and he’s not my ex – he’s just a fuck buddy from high school SharkWeek🦈: dude, you know that you’ve drunkenly fucking recited poetry about the guy? SharkWeek🦈: this is us you’re talking to SharkWeek🦈: Mr. World’s Most Perfect Ass and Softest Lips and Makes My Heart Explode SharkWeek🦈: don’t make me send you the video again bro Spidey 🕸️: does Perfect Ass know you still dig him? Bakuhoe💥: are you fucking insane?! Bakuhoe💥: the fuck went and got a girlfriend Bakuhoe💥: he’s my STEP BROTHER Pikachu⚡: bakuboy Pikachu⚡: don’t be a bakubitch Pikachu⚡: rail your brother like a MAN

AND this scene from chapter 18:

“Uh… thank you for having me here.” Izuku says politely, shaking off the previous comment. “Yeah, dude! We’ve been psyched! We even put you on the calendar!” The exuberant blonde points to the refrigerator, and, against his better judgement, Izuku follows the man’s finger. Izuku turns to the refrigerator, where a sexy fireman calendar is held up by a Pikachu magnet. Mr. March has an 8 pack and is lounging with low slung pants and suspenders on a red truck. Well, there’s that, but there’s a cutout of Kacchan’s face, grimacing, taped over the actual fireman’s face. Today the date is circled, followed, in big words “Brother gang bang today!” “G…gang bang? Do… I’m….” Izuku’s face automatically flushes bright red, and be can’t stop the stammer from leaking out, to Kaminari’s amusement. He turns to Katsuki, eyes wide.

'rail your brother like a MAN' still plays on my head on repeat. Oh Denki Kaminari you will always be my favorite clown.

🦅 - i kind of both outline AND fly by the seat of my pants. my outlines are REALLY bare bones but i do write down a general 'storyline' prior to starting a new longfic. now how to make it all WORK..... thats all just bullshitting lmao. like my outline could be 'here they defeat the villain in a cool way.' Nice. How the FUCK am i gonna do that smh. people who come up with whole actual outlines prior to writing are my heroes.

🧠(tenko!) - lol the now-cannon headcannon that he got his Quirk from All-for-One? 👀 well... i think he might have actually become a hero, if what happened to him didn't happen to him (i mean...other than the fact that he was likely quirkless.) while i love loser-boy greasy gamer head-canons, Tenko is charismatic, an excellent leader, and highly motivated. he just needed the opportunity. if a hero had found him that day... if somebody helped him... just think of the way tenko was. he was a sweet, caring kid, who played with boys that no one else wanted to play with, that was emotional and sensitive, that was called all might because he was so nice and heroic. all might is a symbol of his lost opportunity to be a hero. all might is the representation of the life he never had. but what if all might had found him? reached out to him? rage in itself is not an 'evil' quality. tenko can be angry AND righteous. even now we see that, in the end, he wanted to be a hero, even if it was for the 'villains.' he's so good. he's SO GOOD. HOW DARE HYOU MAKE ME ANSWER THIS RIGHT NOW AHHJhdjfaldjfljsadklfasldkfj (i'm crying. tenko. tenko please.)

🎉 - oooof. this is a hard one. i'd actually really like to hear your thoughts about what you'd consider success for a fic, because your stuff is a LOT more popular than mine. my opinion on this has changed in the last few years. obviously your goal-posts change depending on how 'popular' something of yours previously was. especially after switching from comedy to angst writing, as well as switching to an extremely large fandom (bkdk) to a medium fandom (sskk.) just like a lot of other people i had fallen into the ratio of kudos:views, the comments per chapter and 'subscription' tunnels. as well as comparing myself to other fics in the fandom. its very embarrassing and self-involved but i think we're all victims to this. right now, what i consider success (for long fics) is that: people want to keep reading it. that the same people show up in the comments. it makes me feel like the story is worth following. but the ultimate marker of success (to me) is someone saying they were inspired by the writing. in whatever way. to write their own stuff. to draw. to play music. to think about their own life/situation. to try something new. (someone commented the other day that battle of the bands inspired them to get nipple piercings?! not really what i was going for but YEAHHHHHHHHH.) ANYTHING. because that's what its all about, right? connecting with one another and inspiring one another through art, whatever that art may be. even if its anime-boy porn. whatever.

✅ - something that appears in my fics over and over again, even if i don't mean it to? hmmm... i reuse a lot of metaphors. stomach/heart jumping/twisting like its in the olympics is the one that comes to mind. i use a lot of richard siken poetry unfortunately lmao both in its raw form and the vibes from it. i often re-read parts of 'Crush' when i want to write a really emotional scene. the other things people told me i do a lot is write REALLY descriptive, graphic sex (not like... rough or anything. i'm just very descriptive. i think its probably because of my medical background/anatomy knowledge but. yeah.) and that i love doing cliffhangers. lol. lmao even.

EEEE rani thank you for sending this 🥺 you're honestly the best. i'm sorry for ranting i hope you dont regret it i love you forever

[youremyheaven]

I’m not Indian but the thing you said about body shaming from parents really hits. I do come from an immigrant background though and I feel like a lot of our cultures have normalised this behaviour.

But even my dad who is not an immigrant (yk those older white men who marry significantly younger women from 2nd/3rd world countries? An elder passport bro if you will lmao), once made a comment in a highly derogatory tone about my ass being too big. It wasn’t really sexual but more so a comment on my weight gain at the time, but bro I was 12 and I still think about it😭

People talk about body positivity a lot but growing up chubby/with curves is deeply traumatic and it makes me sad to think about how many of us experienced this

that was so wrong of your padre 😭😭

i s2g i feel like all non-white parents are more or less like this, and i guess even some white parents. its such a shame bc i remember being 13-14 and i felt hideous like nobody would even want to look at me and my mom would slut shame me and im like ??? babe im ugly and fat,, no part of me is "sexy" or "desirable" ALSO IM 13??? but she would talk like i was seducing every man in the city lmfao

I S2G the trauma of my early teens fcked me up ngl. its so heartbreaking to just transition from girlhood to adolescence and coming to terms with your burgeoning womanhood. like that's such a complicated experience to make peace with??? until yesterday i was a child but now i am still a child but people dont look at me like that, weird men on the streets catcall you, say disgusting things when you're within earshot, your mom thinks you're a whore even tho u literally do not know what exactly sex involves, strangers are sending u dick pics and porn gifs, now u have to worry about other people's intentions bc they might be trying to "take advantage" of you when a few months ago, they saw u as an innocent child. if someone gropes you, you hate yourself, you feel disgusting and dirty and no one tells you its not your fault. you feel afraid of people, of how they look at you, of what they might do to you, you dont want to be seen, you dont want to be touched. if you tell someone you were assaulted, sometimes they tell you its because you were careless or that you were asking for it or worse that you secretly enjoyed it. you cant eat or you eat too much, food becomes a source of shame. you want to feel like you have value, like you have power so you try to "own" your sexuality. fine if everyone thinks im a whore anyway i might as well "own" it except that it literally doesn't help. you feel worse. you dont know who you are because your whole identity revolves around how others perceive u and not what u have to offer as a human being. u think talent is worthless if u arent pretty. i could go on and on

literally female adolescence is a hellscape and every girl should get a medal for surviving it.

im sorry for my long (probably triggering) ramble but i just had to let it out lmao

im sorry that we've had to go thru this. praying for all girls and future women<333

[sugarcherriess]

Uh. Heyyyyy, how y’all doin 🫣🫣🫣🫣🫣🫣🫣🫣

I’M NOT DEAD 😋🥰😘 I just went off the grid for a while just because I have been working constantly since last year and then one day I woke up and was like “I don’t wanna do anything anymore” and didn’t realise two weeks have passed since my last update😭😭😭😭

HOWEVER I HOPE YOU GUYS HAVE BEEN WELL AND HAVING FUN AND LIKE EATUNG FOOD AND DRINKING WATER

A few updates and reviews:

1. I’m a university professor now 👁👄👁

Monday will be my first day. Remember how we used to joke about my students coming across my blog. Yeah 👤

2. TXT COMEBACK

BRO????? STRAIGHT FUCKING FIRE?????? LIKE I HAVE NOT STOPPED LISTENING TO DEVIL BY THE WINDOW BEOMGYUS SEXY PART?????? THE TREMENDOUS BEAT???? TINNITUS???? OH MY GOD WHAT THE FUCK THEIR OUTFITS ARE SO SO FUCKING GOOD I LOVE THE CHOREO SO MUCH. 100000000000000000/10. Chefs kiss. “Stay you can stay if you’re tempted to leave” i will keep you as my sex slave do Not tempt me.

3. The Boyz comeback teaser

The. I. He. Yeah. High quality movie trailer fs. ♾/10. I’m so excited for it i already want to inject it in my veins.

4. Beomgyu

I want him so bad you don’t understand

5. Hyunjae

I. I can’t seem to stop crying about him to pup every other night so like improvement🤙🏼 im still emotionally constipated bc Hyunjae 🤢🤢🤢 but yk. Also his. Teaser photos for the. Book. Im malfunction every tims I remember bwbsbbdjskqoanan NOBODY LOOK AT HIM HES MINE.

6. Cats&Soup

I love this game so much. Pup introduced me to it and I haven’t stopped playing it. Another reason why I haven’t been on here. I kind of just woke up, played catsnsoup, fell asleep

7. This blog

I put this at the end because I didn’t want you to wanna kill me right off the bat. NO IM NOT CLOSING THE BLOG. I love love love interacting with all of you so much and i wanna keep it going but honestly i have no motivation to write anything. Even though my recent even requests are all so fucking good like i Want to write them but im so tired and im going to be tired after my classes start– both student and prof wise.

I’m not saying I’m gonna stop writing or not do the requests. I WILL. I’m just saying that updates will be real slow and I do hope you guys don’t get too impatient. Writing fics was a big part of my routine last year even though i was so occupied but now it’s going to have to be a hobby instead since i have so many more priorities i need to juggle I KNOW IM SORRY BUT IT CANT BE HELPED 😭😭😭😔😔😔

8. I love you

Im sorry if i worried you guys bc I disappeared out of nowhere but i didnt plan it at all honestly i had no idea its been so long. But thank you so much for still thinkign of me and keeping in touch i love you fr😔💘💘

[praphit]

Scream 6: Happy Women’s History Month!

Let me start off by saying that I am not a fan of this franchise. I like the first one, the second one is ok, but the rest?? - meh. I just can't go with it, you know?? I tried. There are always too many times when I say "Wait, what?" And yet, the "Fast & Furious" franchise; I'm 100% bought.

I know that makes no sense.

Maybe it's because I'm a child of Jason Voorhees. 

I hold all slashers to his standards of art, comedy, and excellence:)

Meanwhile, 

Ghostface is clumsy, kinda stupid, chatty, sloppy, reckless, and always has a partner. Teamwork is for heroes, villains are supposed to be able to do it all by themselves.

So, why did I watch this? - Women's History Month. Yep. A friend of mine (a woman) asked me to go with her to see it. Normally, I would have told this friend to kick rocks, but I figured since we're honoring women this month... that it's the least I can do :) Just trying to do my part.

If you're not caught up with this franchise, it doesn't matter. We all know the basics, and the basics still apply. It's a rated R Scooby Doo (Who dun done it?! Let’s take off their mask and see). Kinda like the show "Velma", 

but with better writing.

  Idk how many ghostface's we're up too now (that's another thing about him - he/she always dies, but somehow the masks are still getting manufactured and some new psychopath picks up where the last one left off), but he's back, and this time he's in NY. And this time, he's not chasing Sidney. 

Sorry, Sid, but apparently he got bored with you, and is now chasing after someone younger. Happy Women's History Month!

The youth I speak of are the same yoots from the last movie:

THE CORE FOUR (they call themselves):

We've got the trauma sisters (what I’m calling them). 

They've been through a lot. People keep getting murdered around them. They're trying to move on, but it's hard when Ghostface keeps tracking them down. Some of you kids out there might think you've got it bad, but at least there's no murderer hunting you down. Imagine your life like this: You try to go to college and get your education on, but here comes Ghostface to your classroom. You try to have a party and get into some sexy-time action with some drunken, shady, stranger, and here comes Ghostface. (side note: Jenna Ortega’s character does this - idk how old she is... 20ish maybe, but she looks like a teenager, so when some guy who looks like he’s in his 30′s tries to take her upstairs, it comes across to me like we have an R.Kelly situation on our hands)

You try to make a TikTok video alone in your room, and here comes Ghostface. You try to get a Big Mac with cheese from Mickey D’s, and you guessed it - Ghostface is there, ready to take your order.

Damn, dude! Either kill them or let them live! You gotta admire these young ladies. Despite the crud that this world keeps throwing their way, they find the strength to keep on keeping on. Happy Women's History Month :)

We also have... I forgot his name... we’ll call him Macho Man. He's the protector of the group, so he thinks. He's a level 10 bro. And no guy is good enough to be around the ladies in his life except for him. Isn't that sweet?? What would we do without our "protectors"?

And then there's the movie nerd.

She's the one who explains all of the movie meta stuff that's going on. One thing I can appreciate about her is that she leans into her nerdiness. But, that appreciation did not stop me from wanting to choke her out every time she talked. It's not completely her fault, cuz this franchise's schtick got old for me in the 3rd installment, but I'm placing all of the blame on her. Seriously, she could not have been more annoying. It was painful for me. I couldn't stop squirming through her monologues. I was gnashing my teeth. I thought I was turning into Ghostface. This movie almost became the crux of my villain origin story.

Look, the kills in this movie were multiplied, as they should be, but honesly, I think Ghostface could have killed MORE... OR this movie needed to be shorter, and cut out all of the emotional gush-gush from The Core Four. I have never rooted so hard for the "heroes" of a story to be killed. I wanted them all to go, including Ghostface. Perhaps I’m remembering it wrong, but weren’t the OG characters of “Scream” likeable? Not all of them, but enough, right?? (or maybe it was just Dewey - idk)

Everybody here is so ughckq... not one likeable character in this movie. I was rooting for something biblical to happen:

God interrupts Movie Nerd's monologue and says "ENOUGH! THIS IS HORRIBLE!" Then, he sends an angel to blow up the town. Everybody is dead. God says "Amen" and they roll the credits, but that's not what happens.

Everyone is so whiny! Not just the kids, but the adults too. Is that just what we are now? Maybe it's true to reality. Are we all whiny? Have my eyes just been opened?

Trauma sisters, I respect your strength, but don't TRY to move on with your lives, DO IT. There are ways! Adele uses grammy award winning music. Batman uses revenge, Chris Rock uses Netflix specials. Do something! Who's that lady? um... The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo. She's been through worst shit than y'all, and look at her! She ain't bitchin about it! She’s bout it bout it! She got tough! and carved out a new life for herself. Look at her - 

  she’s living the dream!

Macho Man! AM I supposed to like you? All men know his game! He points out to the lady that he wants (he’s trying to score with Ortega), that the men she's been seeking are toxic (and well over 30). What she really needs is a guy like him. We all know that game! I think... do women know that game? I think they do... idk Happy Women's History Month! While Macho Man is not quite the picture of "toxic masculinity" he's close enough. He's like diet TM.

And don't get me started on Movie Nerd. She sparked this rant in me!

Ghostface! Kill! Kill them all! But, you won't will you?? You'll kill (awesomely) through NY. Bursting on the scene whenever The Core Four try to get some down time, but like every other part of this franchise, you'll never kill the main person/people whom you actually set out to kill.

These four are lucky that I didn't become Ghostface, cuz this movie would have only been about 30mins long, if that! I'd break in to their home, and call them to play a game alerting them to what I'm up to? NO! I'd kill them! I'm not going to let the trauma sisters take up valuable screen time to whine about their problems. I'm not going to allow Macho Man to... well, maybe a lil sexy-time action with the ladies before I kill him... bros before hoes, am I right?? (Happy Women's History Month). And I would definitely end Movie Nerd's reign of Annoyance. 

*WHEW* sorry... that's been building up for a while. It kept me up. Seriously... I'm up early, typing right now, cuz I had this rant in me, and it was keeping me from rest. Now, I can move on. See, trauma sisters, that's how you do it! You move on! You don't take a break while running from the killer to have an emotional pow wow. Now, is NOT the time! You're being hunted! DAG GON YOU! Ghostface, kill them! *WHEW* *clearing throat* sorry again. That's... the last drop, I think.

It wasn't all bad. Like I said, the kills are awesome. More blood in this one than the others, I think. You’ve gotta hand it to Ghostface, the man loves his work. I like his gusto. If he does catch you in this movie, he’s going to stab you like 35 times - that’s solid work ethic. The camera work for these kills is on point. Ghostface ain't playing around with all of the stabbing. You'll feel that shit, and that's why most people are there. I also LOVED the first scene. LOVED! I didn't see that coming at all. But, then... same ol bullshit. And that's the thing, I'm not about this brand of bullshit, but if you are, then it'll be just as enjoyable for you as the others. But, for a casual ( I use that word lightly) fan ------ Grade: D

I wondered to my friend (who's lucky that I love her) if the message over these types of movies are positive for women. I don't have the answer to that question. I mean, these "final girls (women)" are strong, but they've been through a whole lot, and don't seem all that healthy. They're bitter, angry, depressed, tired, lonely in some cases... that's a lot of pain/death they've been around.

Can we do better? Again, I don't know.

What if the woman is the lead antagonist? She hunts down the men for a change... although unless the writers let her win (which would be letting the murderer win) she'll end up being beaten up by a bunch of men... that doesn't look good.

But, what if...

Ok, what if there's some sort of alien entity that takes over the woman, and she becomes empowered. During the day she becomes powerful, independent, successful, glorious, and at night this entity leads her to kill... a lot. No, like A LOT - she's a beast. (look, we've gotta make money off this thing:). She'll only kill men... white men... Republican white men (kidding:)... but definitely white men who love Tucker Carlson. This way when she inevitably is defeated, they won't be killing the woman per se, but the empowered, successful monster that she has beco.... hmmm... Shoot... Maybe this is the best that we can do.

Happy Women's History Month!

[n1k1tty]

enhypen reacting to you calling them ‘bro/dude’

# 희승 [heeseung] - you guys had an arcade date

- and then you already know how competitive you guys are

- so when you guys were doing the basketball one, he was teasing you and taking your balls away lmao

- “bro istg if you don’t stop im gna punch you”

- kinda got used to it tbh. but he was still a little sulky cuz he wants you to call him babe or seungie/hee

- “y/n we’ve been dating for almost a year, yet you still call me bro🙄😒”

- pouts the whole time

- “okay im sorry baby, now stop pouting and get ready to lose”

- you ended up losing anyway but it’s alright cuz he got you a stuffy with all the tickets he won😋

# 제이 [jay]

- you guys were baking gingerbread cookies for the members during christmas and he smudged icing on your nose bcs he wanted to 🙄 sorry im so excited for christmas lol

- so then you were like “dude😡”

- and then he was like “*gasp*😦😟”

- and then you realized what you said and gave him a smirk

- “bro can you pass me the-” —slam!

- he *jokingly* slams the pack of candy decorations

- “y/n one more time and i’ll smudge the whole bowl of icing on your face” he wasn’t actually lol

- “alright, alright. sorry bro—”

- *starts chasing you around their dorm with the bowl of icing on his hand”

# 제이크 [jake]

- you usually call him babe, jakey or sexy as a joke like

- “hey sexy😩😏” and then he’d be like “😦🤭😏 hey Jessica”

- and then you’d be like “😱 who’s jessica😡🔪”

- LMAO I GOT OFF TOPIC BUT

- it was like 3am and you miss him so you wanted to sneak out

- so you message him like 1000000 times

- “hey man” “bro” “jake” “dude wake up” “jake senpai wake up juicesaeyo >_<”

- first he’d be totally be disturbed by you calling him senpai and “not the koreaboo-ness😟🤢 i’m breaking up with you”

- and then he realizes later and then 🤭😒🙄 "y/nnnnnnnn, im not going out until you tell me WHO YOU’RE CALLING BRO?🔫😡"

- "BABE OK IM SORRY. NOW COME HERE. I MISS YOU"

- "ok baby im coming🥰"

# 성훈 [sunghoon]

- he’ll tease you whenever you call him babe he lowkey likes it tho dw

- so then you just decided to call him bro just for today

- bro when i tell you his mood went from a 200 to a .000000000001 in a second

- so you guys were watching a movie and you asked him to pass the remote

- “babe can you pass me the remote” and he was ‘cringing’ but inside he was like 🥰🥰😋😘😁

- so when you saw the look on his face you said “thanks bro”

- face dead as went 📞⬅️ 😁 to 😒➡️💨📞🙄 SORRY THERES NO REMOTE EMOJI

- you started laughing at him

- “YAH! this is funny to you?”

- “hoon if you want me to call you babe just say. i know you like it😏😘”

# 선우 [sunoo]

- POUTY BABY

- you guys were just going on a morning walk

- and you were like "bro wait, my shoelaces are untied"

- IT WAS ON ACCIDENT

- he decided to not wait for u🙄

- "YAH! what if i got kidnapped by a mafia family?!" you were exaggerating but whatever

- "I'D LET THEM TAKE YOU >:("

- you giggled since he was so cute when he's upset

- "alright alright, im sorry baby :3"

# 정원 [jungwon]

- you guys were playing with maeumi since the promotions for drunk daze were over and he wanted you to meet his dog DID U GUYS SEE HIS EN-LOG

- you both went to the rooftop to eat dinner

- and he was starting to get a little pouty that you were spending more time with maeumi

- you didn't even notice the pout until you went to back hug him while he was grilling the meat

- "bro why are you pouting hm?"

- HE GETS SO UPSET LMAO

- doesn't even give you the meat

- "bruh what's up with you today" you went to go sit next to him

- "am i a bro to you?????? you've been spending too much time with the members🙄" YOU BURSTED OUT LAUGHING

- "aw baby im so sorry" you give him a kiss on the cheek.

- "say ah" feeds you the meat bcs hes okay now :)

- "STOP FEEDING MAEUMI HE'S GONNA GET FAT. HE'S BEEN EATING ALL DAY"

- "he was asking for it :( i couldn't say no"

# 니키 [niki]

- you and him were just going live for dance jam

- and you guys were dancing so sweetly all the comments were like "I DONT KNOW WHO I WANT TO BE. RIKI OR Y/N" and some like "i love y/n and riki's relationship sm they're so cute :("

- some other time you guys would be chasing each other bcs ur both playfull lmao

- he was gently strangling you "bro change the song"

- everyone sees his 😦 face when u called him that and engenes were laughing. he shakes his head and was like 🤨??

- you didn’t even notice until you saw the comments “GO APOLOGIZE TO RIKI RIGHT NOW LMAO”

- he jokingly says “everyone you see how y/n treats me??”

- you laugh and give him a big hug “im sorry baby”

- “dance to gee and i’ll forgive you”

- he tries to hide his smile “that was kinda cute i guess”

- gives you another hug AND THE COMMENTS ARE GOING WILDDDDD

- “y/n’s been hanging out with the members way too often nowadays 🙄 am i even your boyfriend anymore?”

[theundergroundstories]

Climbing The Ladder

This is a special story dedicated to the big man of the day, the one and only @thegreatstoryteller! Happy Birthday bro. I hope you have an amazing birthday and upcoming year.

July 8 2022  9:30pm:

TheGreatStoryTeller:

Hey there man, can we talk? Just had the worst week at work today and could use a friend to talk to.

TheUndergroundStories:

Oh damn. I’m sorry to hear that. Yeah we can talk. What happened that you need to vent about buddy?

TheGreatStoryTeller:  

Well it all started on Tuesday July 5th, I was driving to work like normal when this obnoxious speeding car cut me off. Now I’m normally calm and don’t get road rage   but this guy pissed me off a lot. He was blasting loud Bollywood music and cutting people left and right and when I caught up to him, cause of a red light, the guy obnoxiously revved his engine like a jerk to taunt people!        

TheUndergroundStories:      

Wow that guy does sound like a jerk..........Was he hot?    

TheGreatStoryTeller:

Dude! I’m trying to vent here. His dreamy sexy brown looks have nothing to do with this!But anyways here comes the worst part. I try to ignore him but he’s taking the same turns as I am but he’s just further ahead. I’m relieved that he’s gone and soon arrive at work, only for there to be an announcement that, that arrogant bastard is our new boss!

TheUndergroundStories:

Oh damn. That’s not too bad is it? I mean do you have to interact with your boss that often? And his looks are important, makes for good eye candy and keeps the blood pumping to your........ well you know what I’m talking about.    

TheGreatStoryTeller:

Yeah I thought so too since our last boss never came out of his office that much and only talked to us when it’s a really urgent or important situation but this guy comes out all the time and just chats with all of my jock co-workers and even encourages them to dump their work on to me and the other smaller nerdier workers! He’s like a total alpha douchebag and picks on me the most. Calling me names, taunting and flaunting his huge tall muscular body and not to mention he does kind of smell sexy. His rich Indian musk is mixed in with a manly cologne for the perfect masculine smell. You would absolutely love having his smell.                                              

TheUndergroundStories:

Damn he sounds like the perfect alpha. Well beside his rude douchebag attitude but even that is a bit hot. I’m sorry work has been rough for you but you have your birthday vacation this weekend right? I’m sure you’ll have a great trip and your next week of work will be better. Call it an intuition. 😉

TheGreatStoryTeller:

Yeah I do! I’m heading to Disney World this weekend. I’ll let you know how it goes. Maybe I’ll even get a picture and meet Nick Pulos! Anyways thanks for listening to my rant and hopefully you’re right and work will be better next week.

TheUndergroundStories:

Anytime buddy. Have a great and safe trip!

July 10 2022 10:00am:

TheUndergroundStories:

Happy Birthday my buddy!!! I hope you have a great birthday.

TheGreatStoryTeller:

Thanks man! I’m about to actually head back to Disney World again before I catch my flight back. Still haven’t seen Nick Pulos but wish me luck. I might not be able to talk much today though.

TheUndergroundStories:

No worries man just enjoy your birthday. Good luck on finding Nick. I’m actually finishing up the final touches on your birthday gift actually. Not to sound cocky but I know you’ll love my gift and will use it well with good intentions.

TheGreatStoryTeller:

Hahaha you’re always cocky my friend but I’m sure I’ll love  the gift no matter what. You didn’t even need to get me anything. Anyways got to go. Bye

TheUndergroundStories:

Okay bye. Talk to you tomorrow.

July 11 2022 7:00am:

TheUndergroundStories:

Rise and shine sleepy head. You got a big day today Mr. Boss sir. 😉

TheGreatStoryTeller:

Huh what do you mean man? I’m not the boss? Wait why do I feel weird? Heavier? Fuck what’s that smell and fuck my voice is deeper and I have an accent?

TheUndergroundStories:

Hahaha yeah you should stand up and head to the washroom my friend.

TheGreatStoryTeller:

Ummm okay. Fuck I....I....I look like my Indian jock boss!!!

TheUndergroundStories:

Yeah YOU are. Surprise this is my gift. I swapped your body with his. Now go get ready and enjoy your new body. You still have to get to work on time despite being the boss................................Ummmm buddy? You still there?

TheGreatStoryTeller:

Oh umm yeah. I...I’ve just been flexing my muscles. Fuck they’re huge! Gosh this is the best present ever. Are you sure that I should keep this body? I mean what about my boss? Shouldn’t I return his body to him?

TheUndergroundStories:

Don’t worry about that. Besides he was such an arrogant douchebag. Why does he deserve that body. I know you’ll enjoy showing off but treat everyone, young, old, fat, skinny, buff, with respect! Now go to work and enjoy your new life friend.

TheGreatStoryTeller:

Yeah you’re right! He didn’t deserve this body I do! It’s his karma and I’ll use this body for good and better than he did. Thanks friend for everything.

TheUndergroundStories:

No problem friend. Have a good day

July 11 2022 8:00am:

TheGreatStoryTeller:

TheUndergroundStories:

Looking good my friend...... or should I say sir.

TheGreatStoryTeller:

Being this tall, muscular and in charge just feels right man! I can’t say  thanks enough. I’m 6′10 and my feet are size 16 now! Fuck I’m such a sexy brown stud. Maybe next time you visit me it’ll be in MY office.

[obeymeoasis]

Demon Bros React: MC Compliments Them Aggresively

Warnings: A generally thirsty MC, Beel’s react has a brief mention of choking.

Lucifer

It was rare that Lucifer had time off during the afternoon and you were fully taking advantage of it. 

Holding hands, you were taking a leisurely stroll around the garden. Every few minutes you stopped to point out a flower or a bug that had caught your eye.

“Ooh Luci, look at this one! It looks like a rainbow! Oh my god, it’s so shiny, I love it!”

You heard Lucifer chuckling at you and turned to ask what was so funny when you stood still in shock at the sight before you. The glow of the afternoon sun illuminated Lucifer beautifully, his black hair almost glowing, his face open and happy, smiling at you. He looked absolutely radiant. And you were going to tell him as much.

“Oh my god Lucifer, what is wrong with you?”

Lucifer’s smile dimmed immediately and his eyes narrowed. “Love, whatever do you mean?” His voice was careful and tense.

“I mean, it is illegal for you to look that good! Oh my god! Do you see you? You look like a greek god like what in the actual world!”

Lucifer’s mouth opened in surprise at your sudden outburst.

“How are you even my boyfriend? Like you’re literally glowing Luci. Oh my god my eyes, you’re too bright I can’t even look at you!”

Lucifer blinked a couple of times as if to clear his head. Slowly a satisfied smirk replaced his confused look and he moved to press a kiss against the back of your hand.

“Love, what on earth has gotten into you today?”

“What, I’m not allowed to compliment my boyfriend?”

“Of course you are, although I’d prefer it if the compliments were given in a more... private place next time.”

“...Fine.”

Mammon

Mammon had apparently made some money in one of his schemes and he practically dragged you to Majolish one morning to go shopping.

Once in the store Mammon had sped off in a flurry of activity, adding clothes to an ever-growing pile before herding you toward the dressing room. 

"Wait for me outside, okay? Ya gotta tell me how each outfit looks.”

A few minutes later, Mammon stepped out in a pair of dark jeans that hugged his toned legs and a black v-neck sweater that showed off his collarbone. A thin gold chain adorned his neck and the look was completed with a pair of combat boots.

“Well, whattaya think?”

“Mammon. What the hell.”

Mammon’s shoulders drooped a little. “Not good?”

“Mammon. You look so hot. So fucking hot. Like. A supermodel? An icon? You’re stunning!”

He was beginning to blush and you could see how pleased your compliments made him. “O-Of course you think I’m hot! I’m the Great Mammon! I always look good in whatever I wear.”

He expected you to stop at that point and chide him to be more humble but was surprised when you amped up the compliments.

“You do babe, you really do. Look at how long your legs are! And your arms, oh my god. And your chest, wow, I kinda want to lick your chest right now.”

“MC!” Shocked and a little embarrassed, Mammon fled to the inside of the dressing room, swishing the curtain shut behind him. He could feel his cheeks burning. 

“Sorry Mams, I’ll stop if you want me to. But I meant every word.”

“...Please don’t stop.”

Leviathan

You were in his room, cuddled on some cushions, watching a new anime together. 

Your head on Levi’s shoulder, you were so comfortable that you were close to drifting off to sleep, until Levi nudged your shoulder. “Sorry, I have to go feed Henry.”

You watched Levi sprinkle food into the large tank, his face illuminated by the soft glow. The bubbles and movement from the tank created dancing patterns on his face. As Levi watched Henry eat, he smiled a soft, private smile, and in that moment he looked ethereal.

“Levi, you’re so beautiful.”

Levi’s head whipped around to look at you. “W-What are you talking about?”

You got up and moved closer until you were inches from his face, studying his features. “I’m serious Levi, you’re absolutely gorgeous. Devastatingly handsome. I could honestly stare at you all day. You are so so beautiful.”

With each compliment, Levi’s mouth grew a little bit wider until he was gaping at you.

“I-Is this some kind of joke? Are you making fun of me right now? Why would you- You know how I feel about-”

“Levi, please. Have a little more faith in me. You know I’d never make fun of you. I’m being completely serious right now when I say that you’re incredibly beautiful.”

Levi thinks his brain might have stopped working.

His face is burning, his body is all tingly, and he can’t get any words out?

“Levi? Come back to me, Levi! Hello?” You’re waving your hand in front of his face but you think he might be broken.

You take his hand and slowly lead him back toward the cushions for kisses and more cuddling. 

Satan

Reading with Satan was one of your favorite ways to spend an afternoon.

You sat in opposite armchairs and let the comfortable silence fill the room. The only disturbance would be if either of you wanted to share a line or passage from the book you were reading.

Legs curled against your chest, you watched the flame of the candles make flickering shadows against Satan’s bookshelves.

He tapped you on the shoulder and you turned to see his outstretched hand holding his book.

“Love, look at this line.”

You read in amusement as the hero of the story made a witty joke. "That was a good one-"

You turned and saw Satan, his eyes crinkled in laughter, a light blush dusting his cheeks, his lips bitten in an attempt to hold in a giggle.

"Satan... you're so fucking cute."

Immediately one of his eyebrows cocked in confusion. "What-"

"You are so adorable, wow. I want to squish your cheeks and like keep you inside my pocket or something."

"Love, I am the Avatar of Wrath. I am not... cute."

"Yeah? Well I beg to differ. I call it like I see it and right now, I can see that you are the cutest being I've ever seen in my life. The way your eyes light up and you get all blushy. So adorable, I can't stand it."

Satan seemed to be stunned by your exclamation, his features frozen in a mixture of confusion and shock.

You walked over to him and began pressing kisses against his eyelids, on his cheeks, nose, and then finally, lips. "I'm gonna keep kissing you because you're so cute, okay?"

He ended up tugging you against his chest and holding you in a princess-carry, trying to bury his face in your hair so you couldn't see how flustered he was.

Asmodeus

You were in Asmo's room helping him pick an outfit. Well, more like you were scrolling through your D.D.D. while Asmo went through his entire closet complaining about how he had nothing to wear.

He had some sort of big business meeting coming up with a perfume company who wanted his help in designing their new line of products.

Every outfit so far had been beautiful and Asmo looked amazing in each one, as always. You weren't sure how to help him.

"MC, this next outfit is a little different. It's not really my style but it was a gift from the designer so tell me what you think, okay?"

Asmo swished aside the curtain of his dressing room and walked out in a formal black business suit. The shirt was open at the throat, exposing his delicate neck, and he had added a pink pocket square. A large silver watch shone on his left wrist. His shiny black shoes clicked against the floor as he walked toward you.

"So, what do you think?"

"Asmo... If I'm being honest I kind of want you to pin me against the wall right now."

"Darling! You're usually never this forward."

You stood up and twirled him around. "My god Asmo, you look incredible. You look so sexy and professional. Like a rich CEO or something. Scratch the wall thing, I kinda need you to bend me over your desk."

Asmo had never been more surprised by you, but his shock didn’t last long.

"Do you really like it, MC? Do you like when I wear this sort of thing? I should wear suits more often if it means you talking like that. I love this side of you darling!"

He began stalking toward you until your back was gently pressed against the wall, his arms making a kind of cage around you. “Is this what you pictured, MC?” He began kissing you fiercely and you grabbed onto the lapel of his jacket to keep yourself steady. 

“Asmo?”

“Yes, darling?”

“Don’t go to the meeting today.”

Beelzebub

You were in the gym with Beel. He was lifting weights and you were bouncing on a medicine ball next to him.

Even though you didn’t exercise at all, Beel said he liked you being there with him. And since it was such a hot day outside, you didn’t mind spending the afternoon in the cool air-conditioned building.

But despite the chill of the room, Beel’s shirt was soaked with sweat. He was lifting enormous weights and you could see the muscles of his arms straining with the effort. 

Beel was, well, absolutely ripped. His arms, legs, and stomach all looked like they had been carved from marble. And you spent enough time cuddling with him to know that his body felt exactly like it looked, solid and incredibly strong.

People who didn’t know Beel personally would have found it hard to believe that the demon with an eight-pack had the personality of a hungry golden retriever.

A grunt from Beel startled you out of your thoughts and you realized you had been staring at him this whole time. Uncomfortable at the way his shirt was sticking to his body from sweat, Beel peeled it off of himself.

“Beel?”

“Yeah?”

“You’re killing me here.”

He looked at you in confusion, worried he had done something. “MC, what’s wrong?”

“Beel, do you even see yourself right now? You literally look like sex on legs. How are you even real? I want to touch you all over. But I also kind of want you to choke me.”

“MC!” Beel cried out in surprise and you could see his neck was flushed. “You know I would never hurt you.”

“I know big guy, I trust you.” You let out a low whistle and reveled in how Beel looked, a combination of pleased and a bit embarrassed. “Beel, you’re so perfect. You look like you could protect me from the world.”

“I would you know,” he whispered. “I want to protect you, I don’t want anything or anyone to hurt you.”

You smiled at him. “I know Beel, and I love you for it.” You let the silence hang in the air for a moment. “But also, can I lick your abs?”

“MC!”

Belphegor

It was a rare occasion that you and Belphie were outside, as you both usually preferred to stay in.

You had both woken up late and decided to stop by a local cafe for some lunch because you were too lazy to cook. 

Belphie sat across from you at the small table and sipped his tea delicately while you polished off the rest of your sandwich. You had one of your ankles hooked around his.

He was looking out the window, his face turned toward the side, and you used the opportunity to study his features.

Long black eyelashes framed his piercing purple eyes. His silky dark hair stood out against his pale complexion and your eyes traced the high bridge of his nose, the softness of his lips.

As if feeling your stare Belphie turned toward you with a smirk. “Something I can help you with?”

“Belphie... you’re really pretty.” 

You could see that you had surprised him a little with your honesty. “You’re so pretty, Belphie. I know a lot of people would kill to have eyelashes as long as yours. And your mouth looks so kissable. You kind of look like a doll. You’re honestly so gorgeous.”

His face was completely blank for a moment then morphed into a calculating stare. “Are... are you being serious right now?” His gaze suddenly turned cold.

“Why would I joke about something like this? I’m telling you right now that think you’re pretty. You’re beautiful.”

Belphie's voice betrayed no emotion. “Nobody’s ever called me pretty before. Or beautiful.”

“Oh, Belphie.” You took his hand from across the table and pressed a kiss against his palm and then the inside of his wrist, the way he did to you all the time. “I’ll repeat it everyday for the rest of my life if you want.”

He scrunched up his nose and whispered, “Don’t. You’re being embarrassing.” But you could tell he didn’t really mean it by the way the corners of his lips quirked up.

He was mostly silent for the rest of lunch, apparently deep in thought, only nodding occasionally at your comments.

When it was time to leave, however, he reached to hold your hand and didn’t let go the entire way home.

[anti-lucifer-league]

Obey Me Bro’s When You Sext Them

Lucifer

Worried about the i-cloud

After you reassure him it’s a secure chat service, he would encourage you to like, spam him with sexts. Would send things back like, ‘that’s hot’. ‘Please send more’. ‘I love you’.

Very dry short responses

Next time you see him, he’s gonna fuck you like there’s no tomorrow. You won’t be able to walk afterwards. But at least your mind will be blown.

Mammon

Flustered asf

God you’re hot

He would like worship you, telling you how badly he wants to fuck the living daylights out of you

“I’ll make you love me even more than you do right now.”

He’s in a trance and all he can think about is you under him

Leviathan

You’re his real life waifu.

You’re better than a waifu

Would straight away request that you send more in cosplay poses. Then would feel bad, like he’s pressuring you and send self deprecating messages.

“Ohmygod I’m so sorry I’m such a yucky otaku I didn’t mean to-”

If you send more, he’s gonna either need you right now, or you better call him

Levi is an expert in phone sex.

Satan

“That’s hot.”

Would request poses from you, like Levi would. But wouldn’t be shy about it.

Definitely would send back sexts or just anything sexual.

“God I wish that I could #### you and then ### your ### until you ## and ### then ###-

Graphic, is what I’m saying

Very dominant.

“Where are you? My dicks getting hard and I need you.”

Blunt asf

Asmodeus

You’re sexting him?

Baby, he created sexting

Avatar of lust goes INSANE when you sext him

“Fuck you’re so hot. Please come here… I need you…”

Would initiate it

“Just wait till I get home..”

Beelzebub

What the..

Mc… what’s this?

Would flush red and hide his phone from everyone, like a child talking to their crush

Would either quickly go and fix his.. situation.. in the bathroom or would rush home to see you

He would grab you, throwing you on your bed and engulfing you in his mouth and touch

“I love you. You’re so.. sexy..”

Sexy is a weird word for him to say, but it suits you

Belphegor

“Come here right now so I can fuck you.”

Very dominant.

Wouldn’t wait. Wherever he is, whoever he’s with, doesn’t matter. He would leave straight away just to go fuck you or finish himself.

Not big on saying the L word while you’re fucking or sexting. The L word doesn’t suit what you’re doing right now.. it’s too lustful and.. inappropriate

Grabs you and throws you onto his bed

Neither of you are sleeping tonight.

[lucy-sky]

BERNTHIRST SPRING FLING 2022

April 22 - Flower Friday

This story is a little bit longer than the ones I wrote on Tuesday and Thursday, and also I’m not sure if Swaino is in character enough - I probably made him a bit too sweet. But since I got the idea, who am I to fight it? Also yes, this is very self-indulgent :’)

I also decided to post all the 3 stories on AO3 as well [link] and to add them to my masterlist, because why not.

*

“Look, Swaino, I don’t know… Buy her flowers or something.”

“Why are you so grumpy today? You sound annoyed…”

“‘Cause I am. I am annoyed! See?” You gesture at the line of customers waiting for their coffee. “I’m a little busy right now, and you keep distracting me from work.”

“Fine, fine, sorry… Guess I chose the wrong time,” Swaino gives you an apologetic look. It always works. He can be a huge dumbass and really annoying at times, but you simply can’t be angry with him for too long. 

“Why are you even asking me about this?” You say in a calmer tone, handing a customer his cappuccino and grabbing a new papercup to make another. “So far, you didn’t have problems with picking up a girl.”

“Uh well… It’s sorta different this time.”

“Different?”

“Yeah, I mean… It’s not just “picking up a girl”, I… I kinda really like her, I guess,” he says, lowering his voice as if he’s telling you some big secret.

“I see,” you give him a soft chuckle. “This girl must be really special then, huh?”

“She is, yeah,” there’s an unusual warmth in Swaino’s voice, he even looks a little flustered when he says it. Wow. Apparently the man’s really in love. To be fair, you can’t help but feel a tiny bit jealous. Just a tiny bit, but still. You're already used to being perceived by men mostly as a "bro" since you've never been great at flirting, or wearing sexy clothes, or anything like that. But no matter how many times you tell yourself you're completely fine on your own, sometimes you wish someone talked about you with such kind of warmth. Plus Swaino… Well, you hate to admit it, but you really find this bastard attractive in a way.

“Well, I really do think flowers are a nice touch,” you say. “For a start.”

“You think?”

“Yep. They create this, you know… Romantic mood. I think most girls appreciate romantic gestures, even if they don't admit it.”

“Okay, yeah… Wait, but… What kind of flowers? Roses?”

“Roses are fine, but… Some girls may find them a bit, you know… Banal.”

“Then what should I do?” Swaino looks puzzled.

“If I were you, I’d try to pick flowers that kinda… Fit her vibe,” you shrug.

“Fit her vibe… What the hell that’s supposed to mean?..”

“Look, if you like her, it means you know her at least a little bit, right? So just… Think of her and choose the flowers you feel like she would love. Or flowers that remind you of her. Something like that. I’m sure she would appreciate it.”

“Oh, okay... Got it.”

“Right. Now will you please let me work?..”

“Sure, yeah. I’ll uh… see ya around,” he nods. “Thanks a lot!”

— A WEEK LATER —

On St. Valentine’s Day you don’t feel very festive: you have a dentist appointment this morning, so you get to work later than usual.

“Hey there, Jane!” You greet your colleague as you enter the coffee shop. “Everything alright?”

“Oh yeah, everything’s great!” Jane smiles brightly. Her expression is suspiciously mischievous.

You head to your workplace behind the counter and blink in surprise. There’s a bouquet of flowers - bright orange gerber daisies. They look beautiful and cheerful, like a bunch of sunbeams.

“What’s that?” You ask, and Jane’s grin turns wider. 

“Oh! The courier brought the like half an hour ago. They’re for you!”

“What?” You stare at the flowers in confusion. “You’re kidding me, right?”

“Absolutely not, I swear!”

“Okay, but… Who sent them?..”

“No idea. There was no card or anything… Probably you have a secret admirer!” Jane giggles excitedly. “So sweet!”

“No, come on…” You shake your head in disbelief. “I highly doubt it. Probably it’s a mistake. The courier got the address wrong or something…”

“But he had your full name, so it’s definitely for you! And you know what? I don’t get why you’re so surprised. It’s Valentine’s day after all…”

“Yeah, right,” you huff. Secret admirer… It sounds like a bad joke to you. You don’t really suffer from low self esteem, but for some reason you just couldn’t imagine someone having a crush on you… Maybe someone just wanted to cheer you up like this? Anyway, whoever sent the bouquet, you really appreciate their taste in flowers. Bright sunny colors like yellow and orange have always been your favorite ones, and you liked gerber daisies too. They are quite simple, not pretentious, but still very beautiful.

*

Your working day is almost over when Swaino enters the coffee shop.

“Hey there! Happy Valentines!” he winks as he approaches the counter.

“Hey! Right back at you,” you return the smile. “So, how’s your special girl? Did she appreciate the gift?”

“I dunno yet.”

“No?..” You frown.

“Well you see… That girl’s really very special, as you said…” he pauses before asking tentatively as he nods at the flowers on the counter, “You uh… You didn’t figure out who they’re from, do ya?”

“No, I… Wait a minute…” Your eyes widen at the sudden realization. “Did you… You send me these flowers?..”

“Uh-huh,” he chuckles, clearly pleased with your reaction. “I think they really fit your vibe. You like them?”

“They’re… really amazing, I love them. I can’t believe you actually… Turns out you know me better than I thought. But, Swaino… Why? I mean… You could just simply ask me out…”

“Just wasn’t quite sure if you’re interested in me or not, so I wanted to make sure you’re impressed enough,” he smirks.

“Jesus, Swaino,” you laugh softly, shaking your head. “You’re… unbelievable.”

“I’ll take it as a compliment, babe. So um… Will you go out with me?” He raises his eyebrows.

“After this performance I guess I have no chance to say no,” you say, and he beams at you happily.

“Great! How about… Right now?”

“Right now?”

“Yeah, your working day’s over in like…” Swaino glances at his watch, “fifteen minutes, am I right? And it’s Valentines, so…”

He looks at you with this cheeky wide grin on his face that makes his eyes crinkle adorably, and you think he already knows your answer.

“Okay. Why the hell not?”

*

a special tag for @skvatnavle because she loves Swaino :)