#I’m sorry but she’s 32 and lives in my parents basement and has been fired by more jobs than I’ve ever had and spends her money on dumb shit

[gingerwerk]

Not to be a huge fucking cunt but I hate my sister so much

[artificialqueens]

Galactica, Chapter 51 (Group Fic) - TheDane/Veronica

A/N: Click here if you’re looking for previous chapters (or here if you’d rather read on AO3). 💫

Last Chapter: Courtney arrived at Bianca’s penthouse and Violet met Sutan’s mother and neither of them burst into flames.

This Chapter: We dine. (Thanksgiving Chronicles 2 of ???)

***

“I thought,” Raja reached out, taking an empty chocolate wrapper from Raven’s hand. “That you didn’t like Beng-Bengs, Princess?”

They were sitting in the living room, three couches carefully arranged around a round coffee table, the sweet scent of incense in Raja’s nose. All the walls were filled with photos, the window stills overflowing with plants and flowers. She could hear her mom in the kitchen, Murni waving her away when she had tried to lend a hand, the fact that she was pushing 70 apparently not an issue.

“Shut up.”

Raja chuckled, leaning even further back on the couch, her arm around Raven’s shoulder. Raven had gone directly for the candy dish as soon as they had entered the house. The Beng-Bengs were a chocolate treat from Raja’s childhood, either her mom or dad always asking their family back in Indonesia to send some along whenever they received care packages.

Raven swallowed the last bite, reaching for the bowl to grab a kopiko, her girlfriend eating like she was possessed.

“Mmmh,” Raven moaned, closing her eyes as she bit into the chewy coffee candy.

“You know,” Raja turned her head, putting her lips against Raven’s temple. “Maybe, it’s time to consider if you want to continue doing swimwear.”

“Why?” Raven looked up at her, an annoyed expression on her face. “You think I can’t do it?”

“No.” Raja ran her fingers through Raven’s hair, the strands silky smooth as always. Raja didn’t want to make decisions on Raven’s career, those choices up to her brother. Sure, she always gave her opinion when Raven asked, and was always ready to guide her and help her, but at the end of the day, Raja prefered to have those lines in their relationship. “I just don’t know if it’s really worth it for you.”

“Raj-”

“All I’m saying,” Raja smiled, lowering her voice to make sure her mom couldn’t hear her, “is that it usually takes a good 45 minutes to make you moan like that.”

“Maybe the chocolate is just better than you?” Raven huffed, and Raja couldn’t help but laugh as she leaned in, stealing coffee flavored chocolate kisses from her fiancée.

***

“Hey munchkins,” Katya smiled as she reentered the kitchen, a box of decorations in her arms. “How is everyone doing?”

Katya had just spent the last 35 minutes setting up the living room, hanging a garland of Fall leaves, arranging her most impressive ever cornucopia, and putting out the special Thanksgiving tablecloth with little turkeys all around the edge that Trixie had made her for their first Thanksgiving together.

“You do realize,” Max looked up from where he was rolling out the puffed pastries, his back bent slightly so he could use the kitchen counter, “that we’re not actually children, right?”

“Speak for yourself-“ Pearl pointed at him with the potato peeler, yellow rubber gloves on her hands. “It’s so unfair I always have to peel the potatoes. I don’t even like them.”

“That’s because it’s the one job you can’t fuck up,” Trixie grinned, and Katya smiled at him, her fiancé standing at the stove with his ‘kiss the cook’ apron on, caramalizing the onions, a pumpkin ale next to him.

“I could stir onions.”

“You could,” Katya opened their pantry, where boxes filled with decorations for every holiday (except Christmas, which had its own basement storage unit all to itself) took up half the shelves. “But we don’t want another house fire.”

“It’s not a fire if it doesn’t leave the pan!”

Max snorted, and Katya laughed. “Sure baby, sure.”

“Is that Pearl whining again?” asked a voice in the doorway, and Katya turned to see Kim. She’d generously agreed to cook the turkey in her oven, since that would free up Katya and Trixie’s for the rest of the food, and had left to baste.

“Of course. How’s the turkey?”

“Your bird is looking moist and delicious,” Kim answered, and Max visibly shuddered.

“Must you use that word?” he asked, and Kim stepped up to him.

“What word?” she inquired, leaning right up to his ear, cooing a teasing, “You mean mmmoist?” directly into his ear.

“Gah!” Max cringed again, all of them giggling at his overreaction.

“Kimmy, can you start the pumpkin pie filling?” Katya asked, getting down the cans from the shelf and laying a recipe card on the table.

“Of course!” Kim picked up the card and looked it over while Katya bustled around the kitchen, pulling out the various spices and ingredients she would need.

“Ugh, she gets pumpkin pie?” Pearl whined.

“You want a piece of me, potato bitch?” Kim asked, and Trixie burst out laughing, repeating ‘potato bitch,’ softly to himself.

“Kids!” Katya clapped her hands and the whole group looked at her. “You’re all marvelous and essential, and I love you.”

“Gross,” Pearl said, but the smile on her face betrayed her words.

***

“Ha!” Sutan smiled triumphantly, the metal lid on the bird feeder finally popping open. “There we go!”

Sutan and Violet were out in the backyard, Violet sitting on the deck in a lawn chair, while Sutan had braved the moist Autumn grass to make his way to the big pear tree in the corner.

“Throw me the seeds, would you?” Sutan looked over his shoulder, Violet wrapped up in his jacket so she wouldn’t be cold since had forgotten her own in the car.

“The seeds?” Violet raised an eyebrow, but she still patted his jacket down, her eyes widening when she found a packet in the right pocket. “... Did you bring bird seeds with you from Manhattan?”

“Maybe?” Sutan grinned, catching the seeds in the air when Violet threw them. He hadn’t expected her to follow him into the garden, had figured he could slip away without anyone noticing, but while Raven had absolutely warmed up to VIolet, and his twin seemed to genuinely like her, he wasn’t exactly sure if Violet felt the same way about his sister and her fiancée.

“Is this a normal occurrence?” Violet was smiling, watching him with her brow eyes.

“That I fill the bird feeders?” Sutan got up on his toes, tipping the packet to fill it up about half way. “Or being in the garden?”

“Both?”

“My mom isn’t as young as she used to be,” Sutan shrugged, moving from one feeder to the next. “And she’s not very good at asking for help, so I always try to do something in the garden whenever I’m here.”

Murnis age was something he tried not to think about, something he tried to push away, the idea that his mom wouldn’t be there one day one of the few things that genuinely terrified him.

“It’s a very beautiful garden.”

“You should tell her that,” Sutan smiled, the complement sounding completely genuine. “She’s very proud of her marigolds.”

“She should be.”

Neither of them said anything for a little while, Sutan getting some of the last pears from the tree. He knew they had to go back inside, that his mom was probably putting the finishing touches on their Thanksgiving dinner, but he figured he’d maybe have time to take a look at the greenhouse too, Violet thankfully not the type of person who kicked up a fuss when he took his time.

“Did you grow up here?” Sutan turned around, Violet practically swallowed up by his jacket as she was cuddled up.

“No. When we got to America, my family lived in Iowa. This house is actually the first thing Raja and I ever bought, when we started making money. Our first piece of real estate.” Sutan smiled at the memory of when Raja had finally, finally, finally gotten the pay check that pushed them over the edge. “We still lived in a shitty one bedroom apartment in Manhattan, but we knew we wanted to do something for our parents. Wanted to make sure Ayah and Bunda had a good place to stay and for them to be closer.”

“Ayah?”

“It means dad. In Indonesian.”

“Oh…” Violet paused, looking at his face, and Sutan really hoped it wasn’t obvious how much it hurt to think about his dad. “He isn’t here, is he-”

“He died when I was 32.” It was weird that Violet didn’t already know, weird that she hadn’t stumbled on it yet since the gossip sites and magazines had certainly covered how it had wrecked both him and Raja, a simple google search enough to know his entire life story, but Sutan appreciated that she wanted to hear it from him too. “Cancer.”

“I’m sorry.” Violet looked genuinely upset, empathy clear on her features.

“It’s okay,” Sutan forced a smile. “It was a long time ago.”

It didn’t feel like it, but that wasn’t Violet’s burden to bear, Sutan’s regrets of how he’d never get the chance to talk to his dad again and apologize his and his alone.

***

Once Courtney had a couple of drinks in her, she found herself forgetting to be nervous or uncomfortable about being in the fanciest apartment she’d ever seen, and just began having a good time with her bestie, enjoying Bianca’s generous hospitality and the attention that still made her heart go a little fluttery when their eyes met.

By the time Bianca appeared in the den again to tell them that dinner was ready, they’d abandoned the karaoke machine and were curled up on the couch, watching the parade, Adore’s head in Courtney’s lap.

“You guys ready for dinner?”

“Ugh, vegan Thanksgiving. I am not looking forward to this,” Adore grumbled, poking Courtney in the arm. “Did you know she was gonna do that? Get everything vegan?”

Courtney’s eyes widened--she wasn’t expecting that, not at all. She’d been surprised that the appetizers were vegan, but the whole meal? She looked at Bianca with gratitude and shock, asking, “Really?”

“Most of it. Adore whined so much about the stuffing that I made her some the good old-fashioned Cuban chock-full-of-meat way.”

“You did?!” Adore jumped up excitedly, clapping her hands.

“I did. I used Abuelita’s recipe.” Bianca cuffed her playfully on the ear. “Happy?”

“I take back everything I said, you’re still my favorite sister.” Adore slung an arm around Bianca’s shoulders as they walked down the hall. “You didn’t forget my Hillshire Farms, did you?”

“No, bitch, I didn’t forget your Hillshire Farms. I even put it out all nice on a plate so you don’t have to eat straight out of the package like you do at home.”

“Yaaas, sounds classy as fuck.”

Courtney was completely unprepared for the sight that met her when they stepped into the dining room. The table was laden with beautiful, vibrantly colorful Autumnal dishes - enough for at least ten people.

“Oh my god.”

Bianca looked over at her. “Something wrong?”

“No! No, it’s absolutely...just so much, I wasn’t expecting this. Are more people coming?”

“Courtney. You live in America now. And you know what Thanksgiving is all about?”

“Gratitude?” Courtney guessed, still overwhelmed at the spread.

“No, baby. No. It’s about coming together, and, whether you are hungry or not, eating until you can’t possibly take another bite. And then having dessert.”

Courtney laughed, taking her seat. “I guess I’m not fully assimilated, huh?”

“You’ll learn.”

“I don’t even know where to start.”

“Try this. It’s the vegan version of Adore’s favorite relleno de pavo,” Bianca said, spooning some onto her plate, along with about five other things, Courtney quickly losing track.

She’d been to a family Thanksgiving dinner once before, during a short-lived college relationship with a guy who Adore had nicknamed “Wonder Bread,” and it was nothing like this: a meal of dry turkey, bland mashed potatoes, overcooked green beans in some kind of hideous mushroom sauce, and candied yams straight from a can. This meal was like something she’d get at a 5-star farm to table restaurant, fresh and delicious, somehow reminding her of her mother’s vegetable garden, something she didn’t realize she was missing so badly until she was tasting it. It was so good, she forgot to say anything, soon greedily gobbling up everything she could get her hands on.

“So...what do we think? Can I put the chef on a repeat list?” Bianca asked, and Courtney nodded vigorously, mouth full.

“I’m actually shocked how good this corn pudding is,” Adore said, mouth full. “Who knew vegan butter would be so good?”

“Well, vegan butter is margarine. And you’re garbage, so you love margarine.”

“I really do, man.”

Bianca laughed, chuckling slightly, finishing her wine.

“Anyone want another drink?”

“I’ll get it!” Adore said, rising from her seat.

“Thanks.”

Once she’d left the room, Bianca turned to Courtney, who was still gorging herself on all of the delicious dishes before her. She touched Courtney on the wrist, sending little tingles up her arm as she tried to quickly swallow the persimmon and kale salad in her mouth.

“Listen, I want to thank you for being so sweet with her, and looking out, you know? I know she pretends she’s a tough girl, but-she really needs TLC right now.”

Courtney wiped her mouth and answered, “Of course. She’d do the same for me. She has done the same for me.”

“Good. I mean, not that you...uh, needed, y’know-”

Courtney smiled, wondering if there was anything cuter than someone with Bianca’s self assuredness getting flustered and tongue-tied. “I know what you mean.”

“I’m just glad that someone gentler than me is there for her. You know, I’m not so great with the touchy-feely stuff.”

“I think you do okay,” Courtney said, unable to tear her eyes from Bianca’s. And then Courtney’s chest flooded with guilt at the next thought. A fleeting second where she imagined Bianca taking care of her, too. Fortunately, Adore came back into the room at that exact moment, two bottles of wine in hand, letting her shake the thought right from her head, reaching for a whole grain dinner roll to distract herself from it all.

“Bitch, I have never seen you eat like this,” Adore commented, laughing.

“Well, you’ve never seen me with food this good. Who was this chef, anyway? Can I marry them?”

“I’ll pass along the proposal. Although I’m not sure her wife will be too pleased,” Bianca said.

“I can share,” Courtney suggested sweetly, batting her lashes, making Bianca laugh.

“Or, you know...you can just marry someone with the resources to hire her whenever you want.” Bianca swirled the wine in her glass.

“Hmm...I don’t know anyone like that,” Courtney told her. “I run with a pretty low-rent crowd.”

“Pity.”

Courtney giggled into her plate, wondering if she should ease up on the alcohol, since that warm, light-headed feeling was taking over.

***

“Come on, come on,” Juju muttered to herself, digging through her bag, everyone's jackets piled high on her aunt's bed. She was looking for her daughter’s toy monkey, Julia falling outside and hitting her knee while playing with her cousins. She was okay, but she had asked for her toy, if only Juju could find it.

“Juju?” The door opened, and Juju looked over her shoulder to see her husband stand there, thankfully without one of their children on his arm.

“Give me a second-”

Detox closed the door, and Juju paused, her eyes narrowing. “What are you doing?”

“Me?” Detox grinned, his eyes sparkling with an almost predatory glee. “Oh, nothing.” He reached behind him, flicking the lock. “Nothing at all.”

“De-” Juju almost wanted to get upset, her entire family just outside, and she still hadn’t seen Julia’s knee for herself. “I have to get-”

“Your dad put a bandaid on her,” Detox smiled, walking over to her, and Juju couldn’t help but notice how good he looked, “and she’s watching TV with Kelly.”

“Ah.” Juju chuckled, her oldest an absolute sweetheart when her siblings needed her, even though she often tried to act too cool for school. “Well then-”

“Well then,” Detox walked into her space, “I think we have more than enough time.” He put his hands on her waist, pulling her in, her belly bumping against his hips.

“Time for what?”

“Time for this.” Detox leaned down, their lips meeting in a heated kiss, Detox lips tasting faintly like the Beerloa the Laotian part of her family loved.

“De-” Juju broke the kiss, trying to pull back. “We have to-”

“Come on,” Detox smiled. “Live a little. Not like you can get pregnant right now.”

“I hate you so much-” Detox gave her a peck, and Juju could feel her knees buckle, her hands going to his hips, her fingers grabbing the belt loops on his pants as she allowed herself to fall back on the bed.

***

“Okay well...vegan Thanksgiving was less gross than I thought,” Adore said, putting her head on the table.

“We’re glad you didn’t suffer too much,” said Bianca.

“I think it was fucking perfection,” Courtney said, a happy grin on her face as she scraped the last of the cranberry mousse from her plate.

“I mean, I’m not complaining,” Adore added, reaching for another apple hand pie, and after a pause, a second.

“Oh no? That’s a first,” Bianca chuckled.

“Well to be fair, most vegan food is crap. This was an exception,” Adore said, slathering her pies with what was probably quinoa-based whipped cream and taking another pumpkin blondie square for good measure.

“Mmhmm…” Bianca said, judgment dripping from her pursed lips, laughing when Adore stuck her tongue out. She then turned to Courtney, who had gently tapped her on the arm.

“Where’s your restroom?”

“There’s one right through there.” Bianca pointed, and Courtney smiled.

“Thanks! Be right back!”

Adore eyed her sister, watching her face, eyes glued to Courtney as she left the room. It took Bianca about ten full seconds before she realized that she was being watched herself. She turned to Adore, took in her smirk, and scowled.

“What?”

“Nothing. It’s just fun to see you bark up the wrong tree. Not used to you being rejected.” Adore rested her chin on her hand, popping a bite of blondie into her mouth.

“Shut up.”

Adore laughed. “No, it’s cool. Very humanizing.”

“First of all, I’m not barking anywhere, so you can put your little smug face away. And second...what makes you so sure I’d even be rejected?”

“Please.” Adore rolled her eyes. “I know my girl, Bianca. She’s straight.”

“Okay.” Bianca set down her coffee cup.

“I mean, if you got another seven or so drinks in her, maybe she’d let you-”

“Alright, enough. Now you’re being gross,” Bianca said testily.

“Sorry. But can I just give you one tip?”

“What?” Bianca asked, face stern.

“Tequila shots.”

Bianca tried valiantly to keep the cross look, but after a few seconds, she broke, dimples deep in her cheeks. She balled up a linen napkin and chucked it at Adore’s face.

Outside, the rain had let up, a few rays of evening sun breaking through the clouds.

“Hey, do you mind taking the dogs out for a walk before it starts raining again? Just a little one, they’ve been out to the terrace.” Bianca rose from her seat and began clearing some dishes from the table.

“Yeah, no problem.” Adore headed for the door, intercepting Courtney on her way back from the bathroom. “Come with me, we’re walking the dogs.”

“Oh...but doesn’t Bianca need help with the-”

“Nope!” Adore pulled her by the hand towards the door, grabbing their coats and strapping the dogs into their harnesses.

It wasn’t until they were safely outside when she finally felt comfortable giving her friend...well, not a warning exactly.

“So listen,” she began, and Courtney turned to her, head cocked. “I’m sure you already know this, but my sister is kind of a player.”

“Uhhh…”

“Come on. You must have heard stories.”

“I guess I have, but I–”

“It’s my fault. I should have…I dunno, I should have warned you about B’s weakness for pretty blondes. And I know it’s just your personality to be sweet and friendly and a bit of a flirt. But you’re totally gonna give her the wrong idea.”

Courtney bit her lip and turned away, and Adore felt bad.

“Don’t be embarrassed! I’m not saying that you’re doing anything wrong. It’s just...she’s not really used to people turning her down, so...”

“Right.”

Courtney didn’t seem to have much more to say, and Adore worried that maybe she’d offended her.

“I’m sorry, boo, but this is just something you have to consider when you’re the most charming, beautiful, kind, funny, smart…”

Courtney started laughing, cutting her off with a hug.

“I get what you’re saying. You can stop laying it on so thick.”

Adore smiled, then realized that her phone was ringing. She handed the leashes over to Courtney and looked at it, surprised at the name on the display.

The last one she thought she’d see, especially today.

Pearl.

[softpink]

A Year in Spotify: March 2018

March is the worst month of the goddamn year. It’s just a vacuum of grief and loss and hurting. I miss Mike so much, and I’m making progress in coming to terms with it, but holy fucking shit I wish he hadn’t died. That’s all I have to say about this month, I’m happy for it to be over.

50. Store - Carly Rae Jepsen I can't play pretend, wish it hadn't come to this But you know there's some things you can't mend

49. Can’t Hold Us Down - Christina Aguilera Making up a few false rumors or two That for sure is not a man for me, slandering names for popularity It's sad you only get your fame through controversy But now it's time for me to come and give you more to say

48. The City - 1975 Don 't call it a fight when you know it 's a war With nothing but your t-shirt on

47. Discovering the Waterfront - Silverstein Pretend it’s not forever I'll pull myself together, I'll say that I'll forget her, I'll breathe And I'll say she never hurt me, and look at it as learning And laugh about the good and the bad 

46. Getaway Car - Taylor Swift Well he was running after us, I was screaming, "go, go, go" But with three of us, honey, it's a side show And a circus ain't a love story, and now we’re both sorry

45. Fight Test - The Flaming Lips Cause I'm a man not a boy and there are things you can't avoid, You have to face them when you're not prepared to face them

44. Sober - Lorde Midnight, we’re fading Till daylight, we’re jaded We know that it’s over In the morning, you'll be dancing with all the heartache

43. Double Cross - Senses Fail All my pictures have faded over time I burnt the negatives of you

42. Sleeping With a Friend - Neon Trees All my friends stay up past midnight Looking for the thing to fill the void I don't go out much like I used to Something about the strangers and the noise

41. A Song For Ernest Hemingway - The Wonder Years And I heard all about how his plane went down after Christmas in the Congo He read about his own death in the paper, I bet it was freeing to know When you destroy anything worth chasing, there's nowhere left to go

40. A Change of Heart - The 1975 And she said, I've been so worried about you lately You look shit and smell a bit You're mad thinking you could ever save me Not looking like that

39. Hum Hallelujah - Fall Out Boy I love you in the same way there's a chapel in a hospital One foot in your bedroom, and one foot out the door

38. First Letter From St. Sean (Rearranged) - Sorority Noise I am not alive, I didn't mean to leave you when I died I was too scared you might be the one to leave There's so much more to life than the flick of a knife

37. So It Goes... - Taylor Swift Cut me into pieces Gold cage, hostage to my feelings

36. Truffle Butter - Nicki Minaj Your whole style and approach, I invented And I ain't taking that back, cause I meant it

35. I Don’t Fuck With You - Big Sean I swear I hear some new bullshit every day I'm waking up It seems like nowadays everybody breaking up That shit can break you down if you lose a good girl I guess you need a bad bitch to come around and make it up

34. Dress - Taylor Swift I'm spilling wine in the bathtub, you kiss my face and we're both drunk Everyone thinks that they know us, but they know nothing about us

33. Me vs The Highway - The Wonder Years I remember me at eighteen, naked in your parents' basement Young and careless, watching you blow smoke rings And I remember me at eighteen You sat stoic in front me, a portrait of who we'd someday be

32. The Waterboy Returns - Modern Baseball It’s fun to be all talk, but I won't be here forever Rough time to be a lost soul, I'm sure, but we feel the same Death won't bring friends and flowers to your grave

31. You’re Crashing But You’re No Wave - Fall Out Boy Case open, case shut But you could pay to close it like a casket

30. State of Grace - Taylor Swift We are alone, just you and me Up in your room and our slates are clean Just twin fire signs, four blue eyes

29. Writer in the Dark - Lorde Stood on my chest and kept me down Hated hearing my name on the lips of a crowd Did my best to exist just for you

28. I’m Serious I’m Sorry - Jeff Rosenstock I wanted to tell you I know how it feels when The people you love just start disappearing Ashamed that you took their presence for granted But I didn’t want to seem condescending

27. Bonfire - Childish Gambino They told me I was awful man, that shit did not phase me Tell me how I suck again, my memory is hazy

26. She Way Out - The 1975 With a face from a movie scene Or magazine, you know what I mean

25. Don’t Take The Money - Bleachers And I saw your face and hands, colored in sun and then I think I understand

24. The “I” in Lie - Patrick Stump It might’ve felt good for a minute But admit it to yourself it ain’t right When you’re sleeping with your lover But you’re living with your wife

23. Flicker, Fade - Taking Back Sunday So you can go, go, go, if you want to I wouldn't try and stop you I couldn't say I blame you

22. Loverboy - You Me At Six Your past has you in a choke hold But you deserve it from what I've been told

21. A Little Uncanny - Conor Oberst You know old Ronnie Reagan, he was a shoe salesman's son He got himself in the movies, he impressed everyone He fought trial by fire, was America's fate He made a joke of the poor people, and that made him a saint

20. Like a River Runs - Bleachers The summer's gone and I'm alone And I get the feeling that you're somewhere close And I wanna get up, to the rhythm of your wild, to the rhythm of your wild heart It beats, been beating since you've gone

19. Something - Julien Baker I just let the silence swallow me up The ring in my ears, the taste of blood Asking aloud why you're leaving But the pavement won't answer me

18. Blacktop - Julien Baker But I know you're in the pews, the same as stools around the bar And I know I saw your hand when I went out and wrapped my car

17. Treacherous - Taylor Swift And I'll do anything you say, if you say it with your hands And I'd be smart to walk away, but you're quicksand

16. The Way - Ariana Grande You got my heart, don’t know how you did it And I don’t care who sees it babe I don’t wanna hide the way I feel when you're next to me

15. Hard Feelings/Loveless - Lorde When you've outgrown a lover, the whole world knows but you It's time to let go of this endless summer afternoon

14. Cry - Carly Rae Jepsen He never wants to strip down to his feelings He never wants to kiss and close his eyes

13. Jacksonville Skyline - Whiskeytown I was born in an abundance of inherited sadness And fifty cent picture frames bought at a five and dime

12. Go Home - Julien Baker And I haven't been taking my meds Lock all the cabinets, send me to bed Cause I know you're still worried I'm gonna get scared Cause I'm alone again and I don't like the things I see

11. Reckless - You Me At Six Your loose lips let, let words slide You spend too much time talking about my life Stories you will spin just for a power trip It's safe to say that I am not into it

10. All I Need - Radiohead You are all I need I'm in the middle of your picture Lying in the reeds

9. Cutting My Fingers Off - Turnover I never wanted to make you go You might be a stranger now But I just wanted to let you know that I meant what I said

8. Rich as Fuck - Lil Wayne (Will rapping this entire goddamn song on the drive the DC is forever burned into my memory)

7. No Halo (Rearranged) - Sorority Noise The same things that plague you still plaguing me God called you to fulfill a vacancy I tried to see why it wasn't me

6. Sex - The 1975 You and your fit friends anyway I'd take them all out any day They've all got back combs anyway You've all got boyfriends anyway

5. Wild Pack of Family Dogs - Modest Mouse And I’m sitting outside my mud lake, waiting for the pack to take me away And right after I die the dogs start floating up towards the glowing sky

4. Green Light - Lorde But honey I'll be seeing you, wherever I go But honey I'll be seeing you down every road I'm waiting for it, that green light, I want it

3. Everybody Lost Somebody - Bleachers And there's a reason I wake up alone in strange places A reason I see myself in a million faces A reason I can't stop it all from changing So come on, motherfucker, you survived, you gotta give yourself a break

2. Supercut - Lorde In my head, I do everything right When you call, I'll forgive and not fight Because ours are the moments I play in the dark We were wild and fluorescent, come home to my heart

1. Drummer Boy - MisterWives Never want to wake up next to anybody else Never in my life did I want to hear the wedding bells You make me believe in something I claimed untrue Set my fears on fire, like a phoenix I am new With you, I am new every scar fades away, less existent with each day they fade away

[surveyjunkie]

1. Do you like zombie movies? Yes. Even though they’re all pretty similar, they’re always entertaining and keep me on the edge of my seat. 

2. What’s the grossest/worst thing you’ve ever seen in a public restroom? Poop smeared all over the walls. It was an experience. <<

3. What’s the most wasteful thing you regularly do? Eat out when I have food at home

4. What’s the most difficult apology you’ve ever had to give? I can’t remember. 

5. What’s the worst relationship advice you’ve ever seen? I’m sure I’ve read some pretty bad ones from magazines, but I can’t remember what they were

6. Have you ever volunteered in a hospital? If not, would you ever want to? Yes, I used to volunteer at the hospital that I work at now. 

7. What was your worst Halloween costume? I don’t know? I wouldn’t say any of them were bad...some were basic, but not bad. 

8. Who has/had the worst reputation in your graduating class? The people with the worst reputations didn’t graduate. 

9. When was the first time you can remember feeling mature? I don’t really ever feel mature.

10. Have you ever had a disappointing Christmas, or any disappointing holiday if you don’t celebrate Christmas? I’ve had many disappointing Christmases in the past. Lately they haven’t been so bad. 

11. Do you have any character band-aids in your house right now, or just plain ones? Just plain ones.

12. Have you ever had to give a pet away? No, thankfully.

13. What’s the junkiest junk food you’ve ever eaten? White Castle

14. Did you play pretend a lot as a child? Were there any recurring plots or themes? LOL yeah, when I was about 7/8 my friend Jess and I would pretend we were Native Americans in her basement....we always acted like we were from different tribes and didn’t get along with each other...it was like some weird drama we made up. 

15. How do you feel about runny egg yolks? I mean, I don’t feel a certain way about them. I’d rather eat scrambled or boiled eggs though

16. Has a teacher ever tried to teach you something that was undeniably wrong? I’m sure I have

17. If for some reason you had to give up one of your hobbies, which would you choose? Working out

18. Have you ever hidden a relationship from your family? For a short period of time

19. How much do you know about first aid? Not very much.

20. Which of your relatives do you know the least about? Second cousins on my mom’s side. I know all of my cousins on my dad’s and am relatively close to them, but for whatever reason I know nothing about the cousins on my mom’s side, aside from her brother’s children. 

21. Have you ever meditated? If so, did it do anything for you? Once, it helped me relax

22. Have you ever given advice to someone who was much older than you? I’ve given advice to my mom and my boss before. 

23. Have you ever used a view-master? Yes! I used to love them.

24. Do you ever listen to talk radio or podcasts? If you do, what are some of your favorite shows? No 

25. When was the last time you got ice cream from a truck? Ugh it’s been forever

26. Are any of your favorite bands broken up or on hiatus right now? Smashing Pumpkins hasn’t released anything new in a good while now. Sublime is not the same band anymore without Bradley. Alt-J hasn’t come out with anything since 2014. 

27. Do you know any sex workers? If so, how do they feel about their job? My Human Sexuality professor from college used to be a phone sex operator. That was her big secret that she revealed to the class at the end of the semester. She said the job itself got boring and repetitive after a while, but she never felt ashamed about what she did. 

28. What’s the biggest art project you’ve ever attempted? How did it go? Ummm, there was one back in high school where we had to create a series of 10 paintings for one project. I don’t think mine went too well. I don’t like being forced to paint stuff, it just comes naturally for me.

29. What kind of wild animals do you see most frequently where you live? Deer or squirrels 

30. Have you ever cooked anything other than s’mores over a fire? Hot dogs and peppers

31. Are there any items in your house that you use for something other than its intended purpose? We’re currently using tupperware bins as TV stands in the apartment and covering them with tapestries. 

32. What do you hope the afterlife is like? Hopefully it will take place on another planet, where our species is way more evolved, advanced, and civilized than the human race. 

33. What’s the worst behavior you’ve ever seen from a child? My brother was pretty bad when he was growing up, and that’s not me exaggerating or being biased. 

34. Have you ever planned an act of revenge? Yes. Fell through though. 

35. Do you and your parents share any of the same hobbies? The only thing we all have in common is that we like to drink. 

36. Do you think it’s more exciting or scary to get older? Scary. I like being 24 and I wish I could just stay this age. 

37. How was the reception of the last wedding you attended? AWESOME. 

38. Do you have any physical photo albums? I have one from when we took a family vacation to Disney World in 2002

39. Would you feel comfortable working at a sex shop? Yeah. 

40. Who was the worst friend you ever had? Oh man I’ve had a lot of shitty friends, but one of them definetely takes the price. We had that kind of friendship where you joke around constantly, and it was all fun. Until after a few months where I could sense a change in the over all atmosphere of our frienship. The jokes became tougher and more and more ruthless. In the last few months he was basically bullying me, giving me shit for everything I did. He made fun of my music taste, my style, my hair, my face, my personality, everything. He basically broke my confidence to a point where I tried changing the way I was for him to not pick on me. I became super depressed and I was close to taking my own life several times. People around me started noticing that he was bullying me, and when they asked me about it, I just told them it was nothing and that I was just being sensitive if I felt offended about what he told me. I remember one morning where he was picking at me, and I told him I was feeling like shit and that my mental health was doing really bad, and I actually apologized for it. I told him I was sorry for being quiet, when my mind was just spinning around the thought of not wanting to live. He told me that it wasn’t strange, that I was just being boring as usual. At that point, I understood that he didn’t give a shit about me, and I started avoiding him. Nowadays, he’s still mad at me. According to him, I betrayed him by starting to avoid him. He’s a dick, to say the least.<< DUDE. I had a friend just like this in high school. She was a girl but was the exact same way. Always making rude jokes about my appearance in public, specifically my small breasts, and making fun of literally everything I did, and then would tell me I was being dramatic whenever I got mad at her for it. Like, I understand friends joking around with each other about things like that every and now and then, but this was literally ALL. THE. TIME. She’d tell me to stop being so sensitive and take a joke. She also would tell me I had no right to feel depressed or sad because I had a good life instead of understanding and comforting me like a decent fucking person, and recognizing that mental health issues affect everyone. So when I finally stopped hanging out with her, she got pissed and removed me as a friend from Facebook. Good riddance. 

41. What’s the biggest sacrifice you’ve ever made? Probably choosing to be in a long distance relationship for 6 months, but it turned out to be worth it 

42. Have you ever campaigned for a political candidate, or otherwise played an active roll in an election? I mean, I voted in the last two elections. 

43. What’s the coolest hand-me-down you’ve ever gotten? What about the best one you’ve ever given? I’m not sure

44. Do your parents and grandparents get along with each other? Yes