#I’m so stressed but so excited but so calm all at once. I am being crushed by the piles of work I’ve put upon myself

[basil-from-omori]

hey how are you?

good, instead of doing the projects and assignments and the comm I was supposed to have done like ten days ago I’m going on tumblr looking at pictures of springtrap fnaf (hence the reblogs). thank u for asking

[luckykiwiii101]

FEEL LIKE OVER-CONSUMING?

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💗💗💗💗💗💗💗💗💗💗💗💗💗💗💗💗💗💗

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(Remind yourself of these facts whenever you feel doubtful, frustrated, stressed or like over consuming)

💕Do NOT focus on the 3D. Just focus on the 4D

💖The 3D is just the old state/assumptions manifested

💗I KNOW that I have everything I want no matter what the 3D shows

💞I Fulfil myself every time I think of my desire (surrender to the 4D)

💓I NEVER identify with the 3D unless it’s desired

🌸I KNOW that i’m not waiting for the 3D to conform. I am only making my desire natural to me. I am getting used to always having it.

🌺I am only REMINDING myself that I have what I want.

🌷Logic doesn’t exist

🎀I am NOT lying to myself!!!

💄NOTHING can “ruin” my manifestation

💐I Only see/hear what l want to see/hear

🩰I Only focus on the FEELING of having what I want, I return back to that feeling every time I think of my desire. I satisfy myself until i no longer need the feeling of satisfaction.

💗I don’t need to affirm or visualise etc all day.

🍬I only look for confirmation in the 4D. NEVER the 3D.

💘Creation is finished. It’s done.

💗💗💗💗💗💗💗💗💗💗💗💗💗💗💗💗💗💗

Quotes from @loasuccessarchive from anons who manifested their dream lives:

💗 “I've manifested so much physical changes when i stopped thinking about how the 3d needs to change. i focused on how i feel (state of already having your desires) and sustained that feeling.”

💓 “I did absolutely nothing but focus on my desires/the 4D. I was delusional, I was detached from whatever bullshit was happening in my 3D and I was basically in love with my 4D.”

💞 “the only reason why you fail, is because you haven’t accepted that imagination is the only reality, everything stems from imagination. the longer you focus on getting it in the physical world, the more stress you’ll have. you only want the feeling such desire brings you, so give it to your inner man.”

💕”All i did was fulfill myself in my imagination, and stopped looking for confirmation in the outer world, whenever i felt the urge to “look for it in the 3D” i would close my eyes and see it in my imagination. That’s all i did, the first days i felt a little anxious but then everything was okay, and i was EXTREMELY calm.”

💖 “I started focusing on the feeling of having everything I wanted, without being specific because my subconscious/ god knows what it is, it’s when things started happening, and let me tell you it’s was so quick.”

“I didn’t work on my self concept, I didn’t do methods (however I tried SATs and it did work for me once but I stopped since I got lazy) I didn’t focus on time or logic, I didn’t do anything but focus on what was happening in my imagination.”

🎀 💋 “your only job in here is to think from the perspective that you already have it baby. don't stress yourself, everything will change because if it is in your imagination and you accept that it will reflect in the 3d, thats literally everything everything and everything . you don't need to change your thoughts, only your state, you want to get into the void this night? imagine however you want that you are waking up with everything you wanted, it is not a desire, it is the reality. you want proof? go to your imagination. everything is there.”

💋”the wish fulfilled isn’t something over exciting (although it may be at first) its just a natural and normal.” —> https://www.tumblr.com/etherealkissed88/737821647378284544/the-state-of-the-wish-fulfilled

P.S Ily 💗 XOXO

- gossip girl

[yummyuta]

four sides to every heart | n.y, j.j, l.m

♡ genre: polyamory | smut - mdni! slight angst & fluff | word count: 1,982

♡ pairing: yuta, jaehyun, mark x f. reader

♡ warnings: foursome! petnames (baby, princess, kitten) fingering, oral (f. receiving), handjob, unprotected sex, masturbation

♡ summary: you had always considered yourself to be a rational and organized person, meticulously planning every detail of your life. that was until your emotions had become a tangled mess, involving four crucial people - your boyfriend yuta, your roommate jaehyun, and your childhood best friend mark.

♡ authors note: this is going to be part 1 of the series im so excited to start! be sure to read the preview first for context on how we got here.

♡ song recommendation:

yutas shimmering eyes, and heartfelt smile was the first thing you saw when he opened the door. your feet didn't want to move, you felt like the guilt you felt added 10 more pounds to your body. you let him pull you into a warm embrace as he kissed the top of your head.

once you got into his apartment, hesitantly following him over into the kitchen where he had bought your favorite takeout for dinner, you didn't have the heart to tell him you had no appetite. as you sat at the table, he reached one hand over to hold yours as he used the other to hold his fork and begin eating. "yuta", you began voice trembling. “i've been struggling with my feelings. i care deeply about you, but i've been feeling conflicted lately."

a rush of concern fell on his face as he titled his head in confusion. "whatever it is, we can get through it together." that is one of the reasons you love yuta so much, he always takes things one step at a time, he grounds you. he looked at you intently, waiting for you to continue as he rubbed calming circles on your hand. just like you had done with mark during his confession recently. you shake that memory from your mind as you continue. "there’s something I need to tell you about… about what’s been happening.”

silence. you weren't met with the normal comfortable kind, this was cold and awkward. you told yuta about everything. the kiss with jaehyun, marks sudden shift in feelings for you, all of it.

yuta stopped chewing, looking at you with a mixture of hurt and concern. he swallowed, took a drink of water to calm his nerves before continuing. “although its painful to hear, i appreciate your honesty." you nodded, tears streaming down your cheeks. "i’m so sorry, yuta i don’t want to hurt you, but i feel like i dont know what's truly in my heart anymore. its like i'm in a game of tug of war, being pulled in three different directions, and i'm losing. " you felt yourself begin to crumble under all the stress, yuta took notice and went to sit by your side, holding you close. "i'm not giving up on you," he said before sealing his lips with yours. his kiss left you feeling tingly, and your worries were melting away. you thought to yourself as your lips moved in sync, how did you get so lucky? you pulled away breathless as his delicate hands moved up to your face to dry your tear stained eyes. "i love you, and if i am just one side of your heart that makes you whole, i can live with that."

the following days were spent in deep reflection. you took time to reflect on your desires, your needs, and the dynamics you have built with each of these men who somehow found their way into this complex web of your heart. you decided the best thing to do was have a meeting with them and lay everything out on the table. you had nothing to lose and everything to gain.

things with jaehyun were still like walking on eggshells and it felt unbearable. you hadn't spoken since mark since that night, and then there he was standing at your doorstep with the love of your life next to him. your heart leaped at the sight of the men together. how had you been so blind to your feelings. the two most important men in your life had been in front of you all along. as you softly smiled at them, opening the door a little more, greeting them in your home and potentially into your life in a new way. jaehyun standing ever so slightly behind you put one hand delicately on your shoulder as you all walked over to the living room together.

as you all made yourselves comfortable, the tension and gravity of the situation you found yourself in set in. you felt like a fish out of water, opening and closing your mouth, trying to find the right words to say before ultimately taking the leap. "how would you all feel about being in a relationship with me?"

silence again. this time, it was due to disbelief. you, however, let out a sigh you didn't even know you had been holding in. feeling as light as a feather now that burden was taken off your chest. it took a few moments of you staring at each of their faces, trying to register the expressions. yuta looked proud, mark looked dumbfounded, and jaehyun looked content.

yuta was the first to speak. "lets make one thing clear, she was my girlfriend first, so you all have to go through me but i'm willing to give this a chance."

"hyung are you sure about this?" mark stuttered

"if its what she wants i see no problem with it" jaehyun calmly stated, hands placed on his thighs as he leaned back on the couch.

yuta leaned forward to you, "baby, are you sure this is what you want?"

your thighs quivering in anticipation, a high overcoming you as you said, "more than anything." and crashed your lips into his in a feverish kiss.

the other two boys watched in antipication. jaehyuns pants quickly tightening around him, as mark's eyes almost blew out of his head, watching as you and yuta's tongues collided together in a messy battle of dominance.

yuta broke the kiss, a string of saliva following as you pouted, wanting more. "my greedy girl... just look at her." jaehyun nearly jumped at the sound of that, wanting to grab your neck and pull you in until yuta slapped his hand away and said "ask nicely, or you get nothing. " jaehyun wanted to fight back, a spark in his eyes, "well she didn't stop me before," he smirked. yuta nearly lunged at him if it wasnt for you whimpering jaehyuns name in anticipation of what was to come next, unbeknownst to yuta you had been waiting for the next time you could feel jaehyuns lips on yours. "what princess wants, she gets" jaehyun muttered before locking one hand firmly on your cheek and the other on your neck loosely before smacking his lips against yours, into a needy teeth crashing rhythm.

mark still watched, stunned, unsure of what to do in this situation. it felt unholy to stare, much less to be involved in something like this, but the want was overbearing. yuta scooted over to him and put a hand on marks trembling knee. "think of how much fun we could have together? isnt this what you wanted...a piece of her?" mark nodded, unable to form a coherant thought. "you didnt think you could have her this easy, though, did you? i mean, really, what did you think would happen when you confessed that she would drop me for you?" mark felt exposed, he turned to yuta as his eyes bore into the young man. "come on mark, show her that you are serious."

mark slowly crawled on all fours, like a cheetah stalking its prey. when you and jaehyun pulled away to catch your breath, that's when mark decided to strike. using all his force to push the older, bigger man away from you and planting both hands firmly on your hips before stating "i've dreamed of this for so long", you smiled before he kissed you with such passion, it filled your lungs with fire.

"thats my boy and my girl" yuta muttered under his breath. jaehyun chuckled and enjoyed the view. he made his way over to you, sneaking his hands up your shirt. you gasped into mark's mouth as jaehyuns hands brushed against your nipples. yuta found his way over to mark, guiding his hands towards your heat. "do you know how to please her markie? i can show you." he unzipped your jeans, and just as his slim fingers found your entrace, jaehyun had found that sweet spot on your neck. you moaned sharply, it was all just right, and the night had just started.

yuta moved marks hand for the first few pumps until he eventually found the right pace all on his own, his mouth enveloping your soft moans. jaehyun continued to mark you up, as yuta moved his hands to play with your boobs. you felt like you were entering the gates of heaven, climaxing on marks' hands within just a few short minutes, but there was way more where that came from.

mark pulled away, and tasted your sweet juice before yuta beckoned jaehyun towards your pussy. "you have to taste her for youself, i promise she is better than any treat you will ever have." jaehyun licked his lips before shoving your pants along with your panties off your legs, placing your legs over his shoulders and diving straight in. his nose bumping your clit with every lick, he was eating you out like a starved man. you were becoming overstimulated, but you didn't care, this was more than you could have ever asked for. yuta moved to you, kissing up your stomach, to your cleavage, finding that spot you love on your collarbone before hovering over your lips and asking "is this what you wanted kitten? you wanted to be worshiped by all these men?" you managed to moan out a yes, your head falling to the side, you see mark with his hand wrapped around his tip, and his eyes staring straight at jaehyuns head in between your thighs.

"i'm proud of you, you got us all exactly where you want us" yuta said before kissing you in a way he never has before. he still owned you and you all knew this. as you approached your second climax of the night, making a mess of jaehyuns face he pulled away and didnt give you time to catch your breath before smearing his lips on yours. "you need to taste yourself, you really are the sweetest of all time". you pulled away a mix of saliva, and your juices now all over you and jaehyun. yuta now positioned in between you with his pants off, and ready to show the two men how to properly fuck you. he looked into your eyes, whispering an "i love you" before filling you up. nothing felt more complete to you than yuta with his cock inside you. as he moved his hips expertly in and out of your walls, you saw mark's head throw back as he pumped his load into his own hand. how you imagined your lips around his tip, swallowing every last drop of his cum. you gestured for jaehyun to come close to you, and managed to muster any strength you had to make him feel good. you wrapped your soft hands around his firm length and began pumping, matching to meet yutas thrusts. your moans gradually increasing in volume, "i'm so close please" yuta reached up grabbing your chin and saying "make jaehyun cum first."

jaehyuns eyes rolled back into his head as your hand moved faster, determined as ever to satisfy your roommate. he finished not long after, as you squirted around yuta's cock. he pulled out finishing on your tits. everyone was left completely still for a few moments.

"i'll be your boyfriend" jaehyun suddenly spoke

"me too, it would be my honor", mark mumbled

"well baby, i think you can handle all of us." yuta said confidently.

you reached your hands out for all the men around you. they closed the space between you and brought you into a tight embrace. the game of tug of war was now over, and you won the grand prize.

♡ ending authors note - how do we all feel about my first smut? i am pretty proud and hope you enjoyed the first part of the story!

[totaly-obsessed]

Hi first off all I don’t know who you write for but could you maybe write something about pregnancy with Niamh Charles or Maya Le Tissier???

Picture Time

Niamh Charles x reader request

-> Going through pregnancy with Niamh

-> @anon hope you like it! It is a bit shorter than I wanted to but I ran out of ideas

➳ Masterlist

•─────⋅☾ ☽⋅─────•

“Baby, please! Just stand up straight against that wall!” Niamh has been trying to convince you to take pictures for a month now.

A month ago you had finally gotten a positive pregnancy test, and ever since confirming with doctors, your fiancé was obsessed with getting you in front of a wall. “That sounds like I’m a prison inmate baby.”

The sly smirk on her face was nothing new – any time you said something remotely sensual, or something she could misinterpret she turned into a horny teenage boy. “Oh! Didn’t know that you had a role-play kink, baby. So you’re the inmate – what am I the hot police officer?” You couldn’t swat her wandering hand fast enough, letting out an annoyed huff. “Don’t lie baby – you would kill to see me in a uniform and I know it.”

Her cocky stance changed immediately when you tried to get away from the empty wall. “No wait! I’m sorry!” Kiss after kiss was pressed on your forehead while she grabbed your wrists, gently maneuvering you back into position – one side facing the wall, the other facing Niamh. “I’ll take one picture every week and watch you two grow!” That was fine in itself but you didn’t understand why that had to happen in your underwear.

The footballer tried to calm your nerves down again and again once she knew of them – of course, your body was changing, how could it not? But to her, you looked perfect, you started to show just a little and both of you had noticed once she had made you stand in front of the wall.

While Niamh was ecstatic throughout the first months, you started to get nervous.

Niamh however, was very useless when it came to the nerves “Just don’t stress about it – relax, baby!” she had said when you told her about your fears. “I have a small human being depending on me to grow strong and healthy for a whole nine months, what’s to stress about, right?” Your snappy response was enough for her to realize, that you really did mean it, you were scared.

The defender realized that her life hadn’t changed all that much ever since you had gotten pregnant – but yours was completely different than before, and she became a lot more understanding.

Everything hurt, you started to swell up and gain weight, and your hormones were in overdrive – driving you both crazy. Quite a few people started to distance themselves from you, a lot of them being old friends who didn’t want anything to do with children, and others who were just disappointed that you didn’t want to hit the night scene anymore. “So what if you’re pregnant – you can still come!” One of them had actually said that, and she accused you of being selfish when you explained, that you just couldn’t go to clubs right now – no matter how much you wanted to.

You also had to give up a lot of food, that Niamh started to obsess over once she realized that some things just weren’t good for the baby growing inside of you. “Carbs, coffee, dairy… this kid better be real sweet for everything I had to give up.” Yeah – breakfast had changed a lot and it was now up to your fiancé to make it, as she desperately tried to ignore your whines for coffee.

But she was your rock throughout the whole pregnancy – she never invalidated your feelings and she was always happy to just be with you, no matter what state you were in, helping you through the pain and making you laugh so much that “I just peed myself a little.” Was not an uncommon sentence in your home.

Winning the FA Women’s Super League 2022/23 was huge for Niamh, but it was even better to see you after the match – with a round belly, carrying your child. “We did it, baby!” She was so excited as she was trying to scream over the noise of the crowd, climbing into the friends and family section, and pulling you into a deep, passionate, and bruising kiss. “You did it, baby!”

But after the initial hugs and kisses you noticed the smell – usually you didn’t care but having a sensitive stomach was a bitch. “Baby I love you, but please don’t come close to me until you’ve had a shower or I’ll puke on you.” Everyone in your vicinity laughed at your pouting girlfriend, but they quickly stopped once you wouldn’t hug them either – until Millie ushered them into the changerooms.

After winning the league there were a couple of formalities to go through – such as taking professional pictures with the trophy – and smitten as Niamh was, she took you with her. Both of you had picked a gorgeous dress to match Niamh’s stunning blue suit. Everything was going absolutely fine until it came to the shoes.

“Fuck this!” Sam swears she has never seen Niamh faster than that. “What? What is it?”

“I can’t see the ground anymore, my stomach is so big and I can’t get these dumb shoes on!” With a soft coo, your fiancé started to wipe the frustrated tears away, that were making their way down your cheeks. “Awwwh, baby. You’re absolutely fine.” She helped you into the shoes and pulled you up.

After a few kisses and calming back rubs, you were fit to leave the room, seeing Niamh’s teammates eying you with concern. “Everything’s fine guys! It is just that growing a human being is really hard.”

Both Niamh and you were counting down the days to your due date – your fiancé’s ever-growing picture collection on her phone being the most watched thing she had on there while you literally crossed off days on the calendar, getting nervous when you started to see the circled one.

Just a couple more weeks to go.

“Baby I think we should start thinking about the birth plan by now.”

“Oh, I have a plan. Get her out.”

[lylethewaterguy]

My review of The New Gods (2024) #1.

Spoiler free: I know we’re one issue in but I cannot recommend The New Gods enough, it’s already become my favourite comic currently running and I loved literally everything about the first issue, 10/10. It’s so epic and grounded at the same time and characterisation of everyone involved is spot on. It’s also I think a really good jumping on point if you’re not a New Gods fan, Ram V has said that you don’t need any prior knowledge before reading this comic and that really rings true for the first issue. And THE ART!!! Omg Evan Cagle and Jorge Fornés really cooked with the pencils and inks and the colour by Francesco Segala are AMAZING.

Spoiler inclusive/my favourite moments:

Warning I’ve only read it once so far so my thoughts are little more than AAAAH!!!

Metron is such a little shit stirrer as always. And I love this vague ass prophecy. Everything about the beginning showing the grand scale of the New Gods and then contrasting it with the Frees on earth is chefs kiss. It’s also such a good way to kick start the run.

LIGHTRAY!!! This art is stunning in literally every panel but omg he’s so cute. And he’s such a ray of sunshine (literally). All he wants to do is help. Also the choice to make him literally glowing is fantastic.

This whole section with Orion is probably my favourite part art wise (which is really saying something cause again the comic is gorgeous). But Cagles art is so dynamic and full of life I just love it. Also Orion’s design is amazing.

OLIVIA!!!! Cutest baby ever!!!!!!! I will protect her with my life!

Like I said before the way Ram V and Evan Cagle contrast the vast expanse of the universe and the mythic levels of the new gods with the domestic life of the Frees is amazing and so impactful. And Orion being in the background and giving them their time was adorable. (Also this Scott design!!!! AHHHH)

I absolutely adore the way Ram writes them as actual brothers. Their voices and the way they speak with each other has so much more calm and closeness than most of their other appearances ever do. And the way Scott really couldn’t care less about the prophecy until Orion tells him what he has to do, it’s such a perfect characterisation of him!

AHHHH! Again, cannot stress enough what an amazing characterisation of Scott this is. He’s finally found himself at a point where he doesn’t want to escape and he’s forced to leave anyway. I have to also give props for the large print introductions for Scott and Orion, both of which are visually stunning and represent them perfectly. Also the “and you” AHHHHHHH!!!

I know I’m repeating myself but it cannot be stressed enough how lovingly, amazingly, and accurately Ram V is writing these characters. Their voices are PERFECT. Orion not wanting to go through with killing a child so he makes Scott stop him and Scott not wanting to go but not being able to stop himself. “The one thing you can never escape, Mister Miracle, is who you are.” Just kill me now.

MAX??????? What the hell are you doing here???? No but not only am I always happy to see my favourite piece of shit but also I love this. When Max was first introduced he was chasing power and ignoring all empathy because he was being manipulated by a computer created by Metron to gain the knowledge of earth. So I think having him (at least I’m 90% sure it’s him) act out the wills of the gods (whoever it is that’s telling him about the child) is absolutely perfect.

And I could not be more excited. Like I said this is already my favourite comic book running and one of my favourites of all time and we’re one (1) issue in. I’ve already got both the main cover and the Cagle acetate cover ordered through February (wanted to get more but couldn’t financially justify it). The fact that I have to wait another 4 weeks for the next one is criminal. But I urge everyone to go read this!

[astayinwonderland]

Silk and Fire - Chapter 1

Read more about the series and find updates here (;

pairing: namjoon x f.reader x jungkook

guest starring: jin, yoongi, hoseok

genre: romance | drama | smut +18 MDNI

summary: it's your best friend's engagement party and you agree to meet everyone at the venue. however, you end up running late and in danger. fortunately, someone's there to offer a helping hand... or hands.

status: ongoing

warnings: mentions of anxiety

wc: 1.7k words

a/n: this is pure ✨fiction✨

do not copy or translate

“Babe, you’ll look amazing no matter what you wear,” Namjoon puts his book down to look at you. “I love that dress on you,” he smiles, dimples showing. 

“You’ve said the same thing about the last six outfits I’ve tried on,” you laugh. 

“I am just being honest”. 

Namjoon leaves his comfy reading chair and walks over to your figure. You stand in front of the mirror and stand on your tippy toes mimicking how you would look in heels. Strong arms hug you from behind, and he buries his face in the crook of your neck, inhaling your scent. Namjoon has been quite busy with work lately and in moments like this he wishes he could whisk you away and take you somewhere secluded, nice, romantic, where only the two of you existed. But alas, this wasn’t that day. 

In a couple of hours, you two would be at your best friend’s engagement party, who would have thought she would be the marrying kind after all? Everyone would be there, including the one friend you have never met in person. You are quite excited to meet him finally, he has been travelling around the world for the past year, and in your eight months of dating Namjoon, all the group of friends can talk about is how much they miss their group of 7. 

“You smell so good, you always do,” Namjoon whispers and plants a kiss on your soft skin. 

You run your fingers through his hair in an attempt to make time go still, but your eyes catch the clock by your nightstand and you jump. 

“Fuck, Joon! Look at the time. I have to go to the salon, the dry cleaners, go get my shoes…” 

Namjoon laughs at the way you rush around your shared house, he asked you to move in while you celebrated your 7th month together. The question came abruptly out of his mouth, but it felt right. He knew you were very special from the moment he laid eyes on you. Your looks are breathtaking for sure, but Namjoon felt an intense attraction to you because of your energy and intellect. You are sharp and smart, in a very different way than he is, and that makes him head over heels for you. 

“Alright, alright… Sure you don’t want me to pick you up and get there together?” 

“The salon is right across the venue, I’ll walk there once I’m done. Don’t worry, love,” you smile at him. 

You should have listened to your boyfriend. You should have. Honestly, at least if he were here, you would not feel this stress. It is 7:30 p.m., and you should already be at the venue calming your best friend’s nerves. You are the maid of honour after all. But things went south from the moment the dry cleaners didn’t have your dress ready and you were far behind with your hair. 

“Please just do whatever… the easiest thing. Anything! I really need to go,” you beg at the stylist, and even though she does try, your anxiety isn’t going anywhere. 

By the time you finish, it’s 8:02 p.m. Your bestie sends you text after text. 

Where the fuck are you? 

Are you close? 

Hello!???? 

I’m freaking out please, are you ok? 

You feel too guilty and anxious to give a full explanation so you just text her one sentence. 

I’ll be there in 5. 

You quickly make your way out of the salon and cross the street. The night is a bit cold and windy, your cheeks hurt a little from the cool air brushing against your face. You run in your heels praying you don’t twist your ankle. As you try to look for your lipstick in your clutch, you find yourself already a few steps away from the hotel door. The revolving door activates as you step in but it stops, leaving a small space open between the glass and the entrance. 

“Fuck!” you bang on the door to try and move it, but nothing happens. 

A muffled voice comes from the outside. You turn around to find a cheeky smile, lip piercing, and big doe eyes looking right into yours. 

“What?” your voice is louder than usual since you can’t hear him properly. 

His face now comes closer to the reduced space between the glass and the entrance. 

“You need to step back.” 

You try to move but it seems pointless and your anxiety peaks when it dawns on you that you may be trapped here for a long time. Your breath is heavy and your palms start to sweat. Hell, your vision is blurry. The man watches you lose it in a matter of seconds, and he would be damned if he didn’t do something about it. Somehow, his large frame squeezed through the little space left, catching you before you fell to your knees. 

“Darling, if you are going to get on your knees for me it better not be like this.” 

You try to focus your eyes on the man that helps you stand. Your face leaning against his crisp white shirt, makeup transferring a little bit onto it. 

“Are you okay?” 

And now you get a closer look. His long dark hair falls graciously on his forehead and temples, the rest of it framing his beautiful face. It is a mystery how he squeezed in with those broad shoulders and big arms. Those same arms holding you in place. 

“Breathe,” he gives you a warm smile.

So you breathe and try to pull yourself together, but his hands reach your waist and pull you against him. A gasp leaves your lips. 

“See?” he points at a tiny red dot near the door. “That’s a sensor, if you stand up too close you might get stuck. You just need to move a little bit–” and he pulls you even closer to him, his hips slightly gracing your body. “--back,” and that does the trick. 

Finally the door moves. Just as hotel employees are coming to your rescue. 

“It’s okay, I'm fine!” you yell running to the elevator. 

The man calmly walks after you and watches you desperately run. 

“Thank you!” you yell. 

Elegance. Poise. Charm. Love. 

You find yourself in a small but beautiful space where ivory and gold decorate the room and the chandeliers shimmered light delicately down to the guests. You spot your best friend and her fiancé across the room. Luckily your little meltdown didn’t completely ruin your hair, so you make your way in saying your polite ‘hellos’ and hoping she doesn’t kill you for being this late. 

“You look beautiful,” you hug her. 

“What the fuck happened?” you can see worry in her eyes. 

“The question is, what didn’t happen? Everything went wrong today, I’ll tell you later.” 

“She was about to call the police and put together a search party in order to find you.” 

You look at the man who your best friend decided to marry. Min Yoongi is no ordinary man. He is respectable, admirable, handsome, and the most important thing, he is husband material and perfect for Camille. He loves her dearly, erasing past traumas and filling her with acceptance and reassurance. You couldn’t be happier for them. 

“I was not going to call the police, Yoongi,” she rolls her eyes. 

“Yes she was,” he gives her the fondest of smiles and kisses her temple. His PDA is rare, but when it happens it is from the heart and that makes you long for the perfect man for you. 

“Where is he?” you say scanning the room, and then your eyes meet his. “Please excuse me for a minute…” 

Namjoon smiles as he sees you. Black shirt neatly tucked into his gray pants. His black hair parted to the side. He makes his way to you and you to him, meeting him in a tight embrace that seems to cure all your anxiety. 

“I’m glad you’re finally here,” he gives you a peck on the lips. “Missed you,” 

“And I missed you too!” even though you don’t see him you know it’s Hoseok behind you. You give him a tight hug. To be honest you missed hanging with Namjoon’s friends as well. They bring a certain spark to all gatherings that is hard to match. 

Namjoon gives you a quizzical look. 

“The dry cleaners didn’t have the dress ready on time, then my hair appointment was delayed an hour and a half, and on top of everything I got stuck in the stupid revolving doors,” 

“No way…” and the most boisterous laugh you’ve ever heard in your life comes from one of the most handsome faces you’ve seen in your life. 

“It did happen, Jin,” 

“If it was going to happen to someone it had to happen to you,” he sweetly kissed both of your cheeks. 

“Have you seen Jungkook yet?” Hoseok asks, elegantly holding a champagne flute. 

“Oh is he here yet?” you ask intrigued, excited even. 

“You know he likes a big entrance,” Jin adds. 

Namjoon then offers to get you a drink which you accept. You stay with Jin and Hoseok making casual conversation, but you spot your saviour in the small crowd. What is ‘revolving door guy’ doing here? You excuse yourself and make your way to him, saying hello to Camille’s family as you cross the room. His doe eyes open wide and his lips curve in a smile. 

“You are here,” he says. 

“Yes. Why are you here? Are you following me or something?” you whisper, confused. 

“Maybe I am,” he smirks and takes a sip of his neat whiskey. 

“I’m okay, no need to check on me,” you do your best to smile and reassure him you are doing just fine.  “Thank you, again.” 

“Okay… I won’t check on you, but I will check you out,” and there’s that cheeky smile again.

Shock. 

“Excuse me?” 

“There you are!” Namjoon hands you a glass of white wine and puts his hand around your waist. “Ah! I see you finally met each other.” 

Your eyes go from your man to ‘revolving door guy’ and back to your man. 

“Babe, this is Jeon Jungkook.”

[hazz-a-bear]

I start a new job this week and I’m sat dreaming of silly scenarios where junhui would be finding ways to calm me down and stop stressing 🫠

my brain is running away with me fr right now lmao HELP

my love you've opened the door to a nonstop brain rot AND I CAN'T STOP

first of all congrats omg i hope you do well!! rooting for you <3 and second of all,,,jun calming you down. you know I'm going to eat this up.

warning: absolute fluff

I think Jun would be the happiest to hear about a new job, a new promotion, or anything like that. No because I can imagine his face - pinched and confused when you sit him down and it instantly melts into such a happy smile when you break the news to him. He'd be over the moon, hugging you to his chest - "are you serious? holy shit, that's- that's so great, I'm so proud of you. I'm so happy for you, angel, yes, I am"

He'd be more excited than you at some point, being your number-one hype man and making sure you're absolutely ready to face this with a smile. So when he notices just how anxious you're feeling, he'd get so worried. Junhui would be so concerned, just trying to find ways to make it better and let you know he's right beside you.

I feel like he's rather quiet when it comes to offering help - sticking to acts of service rather than using his words. Sticking to you like glue, helping around the house with the excuse of spending time with you all just to make sure you're okay. Getting you small gifts throughout the week, leaving sticky notes on the fridge, sending you absolute nonsense messages throughout the day to pull a smile out of you, and taking you into his arms every chance he gets.

He'll care silently until he corners you in the kitchen one night. He'll brush your hair behind your ears before looking into your eyes - "you can tell me what's wrong, baby. tell me what's going on, yeah? I love you"

He'll listen to every word you have to say. He'll let you curl up into you and press your face into his shoulder as you lay all your worries in front of him. Junhui will absentmindedly fiddle with your fingers, and play with your hair as he listens because he's also getting a little anxious as he realises how much the nerves have been bothering you.

"I can't tell you it won't be anxious, baby. Because it will be at first, it always is. For maybe, a couple hours? A day?" He'll try. "But I know you, I know my girl. you're going to do so well, I know that"

"Don't forget you have me, okay? I'm always here. I know I can't really be there...on site. But, you're still going to get my hourly check-in messages! and you can call me anytime, no? I'll always be here, I will"

If you have a little cry because of the anxiety, Junhui will be right there to hold your hand through it. He's reminding you to breathe, baby, breathe for me and he rubs your back as you try to come back, being so so careful and gentle with you. He'll cradle your face in his palms and pout exaggeratedly once you've calmed down, trying to pull a smile out of you. Once he's got you all back to him, he'll tug until you're entangled in him, heartbeat against your ear.

"I wish I could make it better, baby, I really do" He'll stroke his fingers down your back. "Hey, It's going to be okay, okay? You have me. It's tough, baby, I know, I'm sorry. But I promise, I'm going to be right there with you. You won't be alone in this, not for a second. I'm always here"

"You're going to do great, just like you've always been. I'm so proud of you. So proud, you don't understand"

"I love you so much, angel. You have me, right here. I'm here"

OKAY THIS WAS VERY RUSHED AND VERY OUT OF ORDER BECAUSE I WENT INTO A WORD VOMIT RATHER THAN A PROPERLY STRUCTURED WORK. ( also it's past midnight so I have no idea what I'm writing rn, I feel like I'm possessed. I'll prolly write something properly worded based on this too cause it was just TOO ADORABLE )

thank you.

[wooahaeruby]

Chapter 14: Disrespectful

Chapter Word Count: 4,646

Anything in Bold Italics are Korean/Another language.

Master List | Prev | Next

The flight from Jakarta was long and grueling. Everyone was tired, staff included, and Jihoon’s exhaustion was bleeding over from the last two days. You were home for just over a week before everyone would fly out to Thailand. You had work, the group had practice, and it was weighing a little on your mental health. 

While you had traveled here and there for work once and a while, it wasn’t to the taxing extent of traveling with Seventeen. There were many rules everyone needed to follow – luckily, that wasn’t the problem –, you had to be careful with fans so you hovered around security personnel on the ground, but the most taxing was always being on the go. Though New York was a fast paced place, the momentum in which Seventeen and their staff moved was mind boggling. 

They were always busy. Between makeup and hair, they were vlogging, signing things, recording Tik Toks, and already working on or discussing what was coming next. You had heard a few murmurs of Caratland ideas, a new album, even whispers of Vernon working on his solo release. There was so much going on that you didn’t know how to mentally handle it all when Jihoon was telling you things, Seokmin and Mingyu were excited, and Seungkwan was trying to help you understand (thank god). 

Jamie and Kazuki were there for you but it was getting harder to talk with them on the phone with the time zone change. Mimi and Papa always called you at the perfect times since they were up early, however they didn’t really understand the degree in which stuff was bothering you.

It was only the second day back in Seoul when Jihoon shuffled into your apartment mid-afternoon (you gave him the code over text because you were too comfortably curled up in the corner of the couch). He had been feeling uneasy all morning. When you tried to text him if he was okay, all he replied back was that he’d be over in a couple hours and you could talk about it. 

“Hi.” You peaked out from your bundle of blankets, only doom scrolling on your phone since you finished your work for the day. 

“Hey.” He said in English, near tossing himself down on the couch, head resting against some of the blankets at your feet. 

“ You okay?” 

Jihoon sighed, pulling the hat he wore over his face and groaning. “ You are gonna hate it.” 

“What- What am I going to hate?” 

“My parents are coming into town tomorrow to meet you.” 

Yeah…yeah you were going to hate that. 

Jihoon removed his hat to look up at you, watching the once relaxed look on your face turn into something closer to stressed out. Quickly he sat up and scrunched his nose up in distaste as he faced you, sighing heavily. “ I’m sorry. My mom called me this morning and said they already have a hotel booked not that far from here and wanted to meet you, more specifically her.” 

You swallowed down the lump in your throat, hiding your slightly trembling hands in the blanket around you. The uneasiness Jihoon had been feeling since earlier was still there but now he was worried and a little irritated. By the look on his face, he was able to feel the stress and dread that was growing in the pit of your stomach. 

“ Ruby-ah, it will be okay.” He reached out, placing his hand on your cheek and letting his thumb run over your skin, the buzzing of the bond trying to calm you. “ They just want to meet you.” 

“I’m meeting you parents, ‘Hoon-ah, they aren’t just normal people.” You frowned, unwrapping the cocoon you created to let him in, bundling the two of you back up. He shifted to better hold you now, bringing your head towards his shoulder and letting his arms wrap around you. Gently he placed his chin on the top of your head. 

“ I know, but I’m sure they will like you. If it helps, I’m terrified to meet your grandparents.” The small rumble of laughter he tried to push out had his shoulders shaking. “ And they are the ones that will have jet lag.” 

“ Do we have to meet them…?” 

He snorted, “ Mom would be knocking on everyone’s door and trying to contact my manager if we try to hide.” 

“Mama Bear.” 

That had both of you laughing quietly. You leaned further into Jihoon’s embrace, listening to the calm, rhythmic beating of his heart. 

“ I’m sure they will like you, Ruby-ah.” 

Jihoon was out of your apartment early the next morning, saying he wanted to hit the gym and shower before you were to meet up with his parents at noon. You could feel he was nervous but there was an unspoken agreement that it was nerve wracking for the both of you. He was still calm under the jittery feeling, working out probably was a good idea if it helped diminish his worries. 

For yourself, you did what you did best. You cleaned your apartment up despite them not even coming to your place, reviewed any paperwork needing to be handled for work, and took a shower to get yourself ready. Best impressions were in order so you put on a nice pair of slacks and a not too oversized t-shirt. You styled your hair to look more presentable and shuffled about the apartment to gather anything you need. 

When you sit down for the first time in a couple hours, you don’t know what to do. Everything was clean, you were ready to head out, nothing needed to be done. Your leg started to bounce with jittery energy, drumming your fingers against the top of your thighs. A check of the time on your phone had you still an hour away until you were to meet at a restaurant his mother wanted to visit. 

The buzz under your skin of Jihoon getting close had you springing up and hurrying to the door. Before he got a chance to tap in the keycode, you were already opening the door for him. His eyes were wide as his hand hovering where the keypad was and he looked at you with confusion. Then his expression shifted into sympathy, stepping in and closing the door. 

“ Ruby-ah, everything will be okay.” He placed both hands on your arms, “ Everything will be fine, nothing to worry about.” 

His reassurance was needed but it didn’t reach every nervous crevice of your mind. There were so many worst case scenarios racing through your head. 

“But what if they hate me?” You groaned, turning and stomping towards the couch and face planted, words coming out muffled now. “ They are going to hate me.” 

“Now you are being dramatic.” You could hear his footsteps getting closer before he sat beside your head, patting your back. “ They aren’t going to hate you.” 

That’s how you found yourself sitting beside Jihoon, waiting for his parents, at a popular Korean restaurant. Even with you holding Jihoon’s hand under the table, your heart was beating out of your chest. At his suggestion, you both went and arrived early to secure a more secluded table but the silence that followed after only heightened the uneasiness passing back and forth between the bond. You were glad you weren’t the only one feeling tense. 

Jihoon flinched and released your hand, moving to stand. Quickly you followed, straightening your shirt, following his line of sight to come face to face with his parents. To say he looked like his parents was an understatement. His father greeted you both with a smile, pulling his son close for a hug, patting him on the back. Her mother seemed much more subdued, her smile small, not fully reaching her eyes as she hugged Jihoon. 

When they turned to you, you gave a proper, deeper bow, greeting them formally in Korean, stating your name and taking a few moments pause before standing straight. His father was smiling at you but his mother…she was analyzing you. The smile was gone from her face and her eyes roamed your person, taking in everything and anything she could about you. 

“ It’s very nice to meet you, Y/N-ah.” Mr. Lee reached out and you shook his hand with both of your own. 

Mrs. Lee…she was still quiet and it was unsettling. 

“ It’s an honor to meet the both of you. I apologize that we couldn’t get together sooner between the tour schedule.” You gave them another bow, still deep but not like the previous one. With a small motion of your hand, you gestured towards the empty seats for them. “ Please sit, I’m sure the trip here was long.” 

You and Jihoon stayed standing until both of his parents sat down. When you did sit, you tried your hardest not to let your leg bounce or fidget with anything. Jihoon, thankfully, told them to order whatever they’d like, and a period of quiet fell over the table. Both his mother and father didn’t hesitate to get different dishes once the waitress arrived. 

“ How has the tour been, Jihoon-ah?” 

Jihoon cleared his throat at his father’s question, puffing his cheeks and tilted his head as he thought. “ It’s going well. It’s just tiring with all the traveling and little rest, but it’s overall satisfactory. ” 

“ Has it been hard on you, Y/N-ah?” 

You blinked at him but shook your head slightly. “ Aside from all the traveling, it hasn’t been too rough on me, but I do try my best between the schedules to help Jihoon-ah the best I can.” You wanted to say more but you didn’t know how much you probably should talk… 

His father nodded along. “I’m sure he doesn’t make it easy, knowing my son.” 

Jihoon bulked at that a bit, huffing. “ What’s that supposed to mean?” 

“You are difficult.” His father shot back, still smiling, which had you covering your mouth to laugh. 

“ No- Jihoon-ah has been fine, I mainly make sure he is eating and sleeping enough. Despite my efforts to stop him, he has been helping me a lot.” You glanced beside you and Jihoon was trying to suppress a smirk, sitting back in his chair. Looking back at his parents, you smile. “ You’ve both raised a very caring man.” 

“ What do you do for work?” His mother spoke up, her hands folded neatly on the table, raising a brow at you. 

“Oh- I do translation and international communication between my head company in America and Korea, however I also work with Japan and, occasionally, Spain.” The explanation was a little forced under her watchful eyes. “ When I was back in America, I would go into the office, but I work remotely so I can travel with Jihoon and the group.”

“Did you go to college?” 

“Yes, Ma’am. I acquired my Masters in Business Administration and International Relations. I’m hoping to move up the managerial chain of the office we have here in Seoul the longer I work here.” 

She didn’t look impressed, not that you were trying to impress her, but you were hoping she’d like that you weren’t just using Jihoon for money or anything. That was the last time you wanted from this…relationship thing you have going on. 

The waitress had returned in time to give the table a breather, placing down dish after dish with another member of staff until the table was full. Thanking them once they were finished, you and Jihoon waited until his parents took food before grabbing any for yourself. In relative silence, the four of you ate, not knowing what to ask, what to say, nothing like that. You felt completely out of your element. 

“ I’m curious, Y/N-ah,” Mrs. Lee didn’t look up from the food in front of her. “ What can you contribute to my son’s life that makes you believe you can be something outside of a soulmate?” 

Jihoon stilled and you stopped chewing. 

“ Mom-” 

“Dear-” 

“What can you contribute to my son’s life?” She repeated and lifted her head, meeting your trembling eyes. 

“ I- ” You didn’t break the gaze between you, taking in a deep breath to calm your anxiety. “ I’d like to believe that the relationship Jihoon-ah and I have can be meaningful.” 

“I didn’t ask if your relationship can be meaningful,” Mrs. Lee placed her chopsticks down and once more folded her hands neatly. “ To be frank, you don’t seem fit to help him succeed.” 

“Fit to-” You were thrown off, furrowing your brow in confusion. Your heart was in your throat and you wanted to escape but knew you couldn’t.  

“ You seem…immature. I can’t see you contributing more to Jihoon’s life than providing the necessary things for a soulmate to live.” 

There was anger starting to rise within you. The confusion you wore easier flattened into a stony expression. Jihoon whipped his head to look at you then towards his mom. 

“ That’s enough.” Jihoon spoke up but his mother was staring you down. 

“ Lee-nim,” You kept your anger at bay, keeping your tone even. “ I don’t appreciate you assuming things about who I am based on this first meeting.”

The air surrounding you was so thick you could cut through it with a knife. Both Jihoon and his father were stunned silent, neither sure of what to do at the moment. The staring contest between you and his mother was deadly. 

“ I wonder what type of people raised you seeing as your parents didn’t raise you with any respect for your elders.” 

Your heart stopped. All the anger that once built up within was heightened. Around you, things moved in slow motion. Jihoon raised his voice but everything was muffled as if cotton was shoved in your ears. 

“Whether you like it or not, I’m Jihoon’s soulmate. I’ve worked my ass off to get to where I am by myself and I won’t let you determine the type of person I am or how I can help him succeed in life when he has already done so much for himself. You speak about respect for elders but my grandparents taught me to only respect those who show me respect and currently I see none.” You stood from your seat, three sets of eyes staring at you in shock. “ Now if you will excuse me, I will not let myself be disrespected by someone who doesn’t even know me, nor seem willing to get to know me. Enjoy your time with Jihoon. I’m no longer hungry. I’m done.” 

You took your card out of your wallet and handed it to Jihoon before giving a curt bow to his mother and father. 

“ Ruby-ah-” Jihoon looked panicked and you felt the alarm flow between you. 

“It’s fine. Enjoy the food.” 

And with slow, heavy steps, you left the building and walked aimlessly through the busy city streets. 

He was…He didn’t even know how he felt. 

Watching as they left the restaurant, the outrage they felt, it was surreal. 

Never had he imagined that his mother would treat someone so harshly, let alone with such little respect. She was usually composed and kind but now she was down right nasty. 

“ What is wrong with you?” He bulked in disbelief, furrowing his brow. “ What the hell is wrong with you?” 

His mother scoffed and frowned at him. “ What is wrong with me? What is wrong with them!? Disrespectful and immature are an understatement of what they are!” 

“The only person here that is disrespectful is you! You just met them and you are telling them that they can’t be more than my soulmate? Someone that is keeping me alive?” Now he was getting angry. 

“ They aren’t. They will hold you back every step of the way.” Her words were frigid. 

“Hold me back- Mom, you don’t know them!” 

“Clearly I don’t have to, Jihoon-ah.” 

“ Enough. Both of you.” His father placed his hand firmly on the table, causing both his mother and him to shut their mouths. He turned his direction to his wife, “ I’m disappointed in you. You didn’t give them a single chance. You judged them based on whatever you read online from horrible fans.” 

His mother scoffed once more. “ Unlike you, I’m trying to watch out for our son and make sure his future will hold success.” 

Jihoon let out a groan of frustration. “ I’m not a child anymore! I’m twenty-six this year! I don’t need you vetting my soulmate when fate has already picked them!”

“Just because they are your soulmate, doesn’t mean they are perfect for you, Jihoon-ah-” 

“They are perfect.” Jihoon stood, exasperated and annoyed. He couldn’t believe that he was hearing. “ Ruby-ah is perfect to me and that’s all that matters.” 

He held his mother’s gaze, eyes narrowed in a pointed glare. She raised her chin higher, probably thinking she was right. He hated when she let her pride get the better of her. 

“ Think what you want, Jihoon-ah. I’m disappointed fate picked an ill-fit person to be tied to you for the rest of your life.” 

“ The only disappointment here is you for being a judgemental and hateful person. You raised me better than that.” 

She gasped, he didn’t know what brought him to even think those words, let alone say them, but in that moment, he meant it. 

“ Jihoon-ah.” His father started sternly but Jihoon shook his head. 

“ No, dad. The disrespect she showed Ruby-ah was too far. Neither of you raised me like that.” He pulled his wallet from his pocket and pulled out a handful of bills, placing them on the table in front of his father. “ This should cover everything. Only call me when mom is ready to apologize.” 

Jihoon grabbed his jacket and walked out the door, looking either way down the street, trying to figure out which way they went. Ruby didn’t know the city well and he didn’t know if they were heading home- 

Pulling his phone out, he quickly called them, walking down the sidewalk in the direction of the dorms. The blaring ringing went on once, twice, and he continued down the street, picking up his pace. 

“Come on-” He muttered in English when the call went to voicemail after a few moments. He hung up and sent a text message, hoping to get any sort of response. 

Waiting at a crosswalk, Jihoon bounced on his feet, still feeling their anger, but it was calmer than what they felt earlier. To his current displeasure, there were a few people – who he assumed were fans – taking pictures of him on their phones. He pulled a mask from his jacket pocket and slid it on, keeping his head down. While Carats were part of his love for his career, right now he wasn’t in the mood to be gawked at. 

When the street was clear to cross, a text came in and he was bolting down the street in the opposite direction. Ruby had sent a message of their location in the other direction along the Han River. Though he didn’t get out much, he at least knew the basis from all the years of living in the city. 

As he neared the approximate location, the hum that coursed under his skin was comforting. The subconscious pull led him directly to where they sat under a tree, staring out on the still green grass and the flowing water of the river. 

“I blew it.” They said, not looking up as he slid to a squat beside them. “ I’m sorry.” 

“ Why are you sorry? My mom was rude and judgemental.” He shifted to sit, letting his legs splat out on the grass and leaned back on his hands. “ It was uncalled for.” 

It was music to his ears hearing Ruby snort and try to cover up their laugh. “ She is still your mom, Jihoon-ah.” 

“And moms can be overbearing and unaccepting of their kids growing up. I’m sure your grandmother can relate to that.” 

“Yeah. I guess she can…” Ruby sighed, running a hand through their hair before laughing under their breath. “ When I was in my first semester of college, Mimi drove all the way from upstate New York to the city to see me every month. She kept saying that she needed someone to take care of outside of Papa. It took her a while to realize that I was an adult after that.” 

“I’m sorry about what she said about your parents.” 

“ You don’t need to apologize for her, she can do that for herself if she throws her pride aside.” Their voice was laced with a hint of anger, that same feeling was still in the bond. 

“ Say what’s on your mind before I have to deal with you sulking for hours on end.” Jihoon rolled his eyes. 

Ruby huffed, criss-crossing their legs and crossing their arms. “ I know she is your mom and all, but who does she think she is judging me!? I’m not here for your money, I’m not here to use you in any way, and I’m definitely better than some of the people in this world for who your soulmate could have been.” 

He snorted but said nothing, letting them continue. “And learning a shit ton of languages is hard! It came earlier to me than math. Let alone getting my Masters in a double major. And asking me what I contribute to your life? Are we still in the fifties? No offense but you don’t know how to really cook! She should be happy I’m feeding you whenever you come over! And I make you sleep at a reasonable time!” 

That had him bursting out in laughter, face scrunching up and shoulders shaking. They weren’t wrong. Even in just a month, Ruby has been helpful in the caring for himself aspect of everything. And…And Ruby can cook pretty well so he wasn’t going to complain. 

“ I’m serious! She doesn’t know me, she assumes that because I’m ' disrespectful' and 'immature' that I’m not a responsible person. I pay bills, I work a full time job, and I have to deal with you and all of Seventeen! Especially ‘97 line, maybe minus Minghao-ah because they are up my ass!” 

“They will never leave you alone. You’ve signed the figurative contract and now Mingyu-ah and Seokminie will forever be your problem.” He gasped for air, watching them throw their arms up in defeat. 

Ruby pouted, rolling their head back and to the side to look at him. Jihoon easily looked back, but saw their eyes looking over his shoulder. 

“ Are they recording us?” He asked and they nodded. He wasn’t surprised fans followed him or noticed him in general. “ Come on.” 

Lazily he stood, holding his hand out to help them up and patted off their back. Jihoon slid his hand properly into Ruby’s, pulling out his phone to order a taxi. Ruby stepped close, seemingly hiding him the best they could. The fans did keep their distance, but the chorus of loud whispers and phones being held up to videos or pictures were making Ruby uncomfortable, he could feel it. He turned his back to the fans that looked upon them, facing his soulmate and waited for the notification that the car he ordered arrived. 

“ Are we going home?” They whispered, keeping their head down. 

“ Yeah, I’m gonna get us home.” 

“ ...I’m never going to get used to that.” 

“Do you see why I’m a homebody?” He followed their hushed voice, pouting his lips as he looked down at his phone. “ Sleep, exercise, work, sleep, that is my life.” 

Ruby snorted and a small smile spread on their face, “Don’t remind me, loser.” He only rolled his eyes, running his thumb over their knuckles as a small distraction.

Without too long of a wait, the taxi came and Jihoon pulled Ruby along towards the road, matching the car’s plate to the app, and opened the door for them to get in. The ride back to the doors wasn’t long and Jihoon was already receiving messages from Seungcheol asking ‘ why Carats are posting about him and Ruby on twitter when they were supposed to be at lunch with his parents?’ 

“ Wah, he really does work fast.” Ruby leaned against his side, looking down at his phone to better see Cheol’s texts. “ It’s kinda terrifying.”

“ Well, your name has been added to his roster of ‘people I can look up on twitter now when I’m bored’. Congratulations.” 

“I will never know peace between knowing all of you.” 

“Welcome to my life.” 

“No no!” Mingyu whined, throwing himself helplessly to the floor across from you. “ Tell us what happened!” 

“Yeah!” Seokmin tossed a crumpled up napkin at you which you dodged. “ We’ve met Jihoon-hyung’s mom, she wasn’t mean to us.” 

“You aren’t his soulmate.” Minghao pointed out, taking another bite of his takeout. “Ruby-ah isn’t a normal person in the eyes of a mother.” 

“ For example, Jihoonie’s mom loves me.” Soonyoung spoke up and everyone told him to shut up which caused him to pout. “ Mean…”  

“ I’ve never heard her so critical before.” Jihoon spoke up, pushing his food around with his chopsticks. “ She wasn’t even this bad when I told her I was going to be a trainee.” 

“Ruby-ah~ Tell us~” Seokmin said in a sing-song tone, using one of his chopsticks as if it was a wand, pointing it at you and twirling it happily. 

“She like-” You puffed out air, fidgeting side to side as you thought. “ She first asked about my education and my job so I explained all that. Then she asked me something about how I can 'contribute more to his life than just being his soulmate'. Then she called me disrespectful and immature and this mother f-” 

You stopped yourself, getting angry, similar to how you were earlier. “ Sorry, didn’t mean for that to slip…Then she brought up my parents not teaching me respect.” 

The air surrounding the group of you tensed and you sighed. They all knew vaguely (except for Jihoon who got to hear the whole story) of your family with how much time you’ve spent with them. You shrugged, shoveling some food into your mouth, not wanting to get too heated as of now.

“ Sorry Jihoonie, but your mom was a bitch.” Soonyoung said it so casually that you nearly choked on your food. 

“Thank god someone said it.” You threw your head back in laughter, falling over onto Jihoon who was trying not to laugh at it while Soonyoung smirked to himself. The rest of 97 line was in different extents of laughter, Mingyu on the floor and Minghao giggling with shaking shoulders. “I was going to say…Mother fucker but that would have been mean.” 

That made them roar up again and Jihoon followed by throwing his head back, face scrunched up in a wide smile. Seokmin and Mingyu were laying on their backs on the floor, Soonyoung was keeled over on the couch, holding his stomach as he gasped for air. Minghao sat beside you with his back to the couch, shoulders raised and curling in on himself as he laughed. 

You were glad you became friends with Seventeen. They were just the company you needed to deal with this. It was nice to have them as friends when Jamie and Kazuki were halfway around the world.

[glittering-moonlillie]

I Hate You, Be My Girlfriend: Part Three (Damian Wayne x Reader)

Warnings: Again, bad Barbara characterization.

Word Count: 1,676

Summary: You finally meet Damian's family, and everything goes according to plan...until it doesn't?

You both got out of his car, stumbling your way to the daunting gates of Wayne Manor hand-in-hand. Unlike the other times Damian had returned to his childhood home, Alfred was not there to greet him with the dutiful smile he always carried. It was just another reminder of how much things have changed since he was 13, everything except him.  

His home loomed over him like a pitch black shadow, the lights that cascaded around the green hedges created an ominous glow. Never in Damian’s life had his father’s house felt as huge as it did now. He subconsciously pulled you in closer just so he could feel the warmth of your skin. You turned to him, eyes broad and dilated, the reflection of the inside lights almost making it seem like they were sparkling. 

“We aren’t even inside yet and I am already amazed! I can’t even imagine living in a place this huge!” You giggled like a frenzied child who had just experienced snow. 

The path to the manor’s main door felt like the calm before a storm with every step he was taking feeling like his own death march. One wrong move by either of you and you could be busted. His pride would be demolished and, well, you would be known as the poor unfortunate soul who made the deal with the Devil. 

What annoyed Damian even further was the fact that you seemed so awestruck with your surroundings that you couldn’t even bother to be worried like he was. Didn’t you understand that your reputation was on the line too? It was unbelievably frustrating, but what was even more frustrating was the fact that whenever he looked at you to scold you for it, his throat would clog up and he would suddenly remember how nice it felt to be holding your hand. 

“Do I look okay? You keep looking at me funny…” You asked softly. 

Damian scoffed, his face burning. “You look…fine…I just don’t understand how you look so calm.”

He absolutely despised how you looked at him as if you understood his whole being. “Oh. I guess I’m just excited about meeting your family.” You gave him another smile. “Plus, yknow, it’s not hard pretending to love..people…” 

There was a noticeable pressure in his chest when Damian heard those words, as if he was having heart palpitations, except heart palpitations never felt so torturously delightful. It only worsened when you continued to give him that adorable grin. The best decision seemed to ignore what he was feeling, especially since there was a more pressing matter at hand. 

Just in case all else failed, Damian made sure to create several fool proof contingency plans he could lay back on. He took one final breath before walking up the last few steps of the porch and grasping the golden doorknob, knocking on the dark wood. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Dick happened to be the one who let you guys into the enormous Manor, which you still were amazed at even if Damian gave you a side glare every few minutes. The older brother gave you a quick tour of the first floor which followed up with the most stressful game of 20 questions you had ever played. The questions were simple at first - how did you two meet and what classes are you taking in college? Once you met Damian’s other siblings though was when the questions became harder to answer without becoming an oozing puddle or exploding into a kaleidoscope of butterflies.

What did Damian do to gain your attention and by God, what made you want him out of all the other potential bachelors lining up on your doorstep. 

As if there were any other bachelors waiting on your doorstep. 

Thankfully, Damian was there to smooth out all the details with that casual suave charm he had - a charm that you are now realizing belongs to most of the members of his family. It was getting hard not to become antsy when Damian smiled so lovingly at you, all the while explaining the embarrassingly (and true) story of how you met in the library and how he had helped you get out from under a bookshelf that had fallen on top of you. Granted, it was a shelf that you had scaled because the particular book you wanted was on the top shelf, thus making it impossible for you to get. Still, it would have been nice to create a more romantic first meet story rather than just being pictured like an idiot. Although, you supposed, this was Damian and he would take any and every opportunity for you to look like an idiot. 

Other than that, everything seemed to be going according to plan. It seemed like Damian’s family liked you, and most importantly, they showed no sign of suspicion towards your guys’ relationship. His family was a little odd though, and you couldn’t help but wonder how Bruce Wayne managed to adopt so many chaotic and unique children in a row. 

You had met Dick first; He was the oldest there and seemed to keep the peace between everyone else in the family. His hair was dark, but you couldn’t tell if it was a deep brown or black and his eyes were a disturbingly bright blue. He was charming and easy to talk to, instantly making you feel like you were already part of the family. It was clear why Barbara loved him so much. 

You had met Tim next, who seemed to be at a loss at your appearance. Damian couldn’t help smirking at his face. Out of everyone, he was the most suspicious of you and Damian’s relationship, even stating how Damian seemed too sugary and sweet to be natural. Other than that, he seemed nice enough. The brothers seemed to have a love-hate relationship, most of which being perpetuated by Damian while Tim continued to play the tired and irritated older brother. Despite being the CEO of Wayne enterprise, he seemed so young, his face carrying the wrinkles and eyebags of a 50 year old. 

There were three girls at the dining table. You were introduced to all of them - Stephanie, Barbara and Cassandra -  but you talked the most to Stephanie, a blonde who was the closest to your age. She was really ecstatic to see Damian “in love” and she jokingly asked if he would propose to you soon. You managed to laugh off the proposition while Damian’s eyebrows creased as if he was actually considering it. Cassandra was quiet while Barbara exuded a confident quick-wittedness to her that made you feel she could point out everything you were doing wrong in your life. 

Eventually Alfred and who you assumed to be Jason came out with delicious smelling food, the latter of which grumbling about how no one else helped out because he was the only competent one in the kitchen. Damian had always depicted Jason as the black sheep of the family but you weren’t ever sure why. Other than having a chunk of his hair dyed a pearlescent white, he seemed fairly normal.

“Where’s father? Isn’t he supposed to be here?” Damian’s voice was quiet but maintained a steely undertone. Everyone shared a look with each other, then back at you, as if they were all in on a secret and you were the only one left out. 

“He uh, he’s getting things situated before we all leave tomorrow afternoon.” Tim hesitantly said. 

Damian leaned back in his chair, his face pulled into an unsatisfied scowl. “Of course he is.”

Damian never opened up to you about his relationship with his father, but it was safe to say that they weren’t that close. You and him never shared the type of relationship in which he could be vulnerable with you, but it felt imperative that you were there for him, even if he was uncomfortable with it. 

You gently put your hand on top of his seeing as how it calmed him down before, swallowing all the nervousness you had and kissed his cheek. You tried your best to make it seem seamless and natural, but it most likely wasn’t. “I’m sure we’ll get to see him tomorrow morning, Dami.”

The look Damian gave you melted your heart. It was a mix between staggered and confused, like a deer caught in the middle of the road about to be hit by a truck.  

“Jeez, get a room you two! You’re worse than the engaged couple!” Jason laughed. 

“Do you see how red they are, it’s like they haven’t kissed before!” Tim argued, still mildly suspicious. 

That seemed to knock some sense back into Damian’s bewildered state, looking to Drake than back at you. His face lit up dangerously. “Shut up Drake, of course I have kissed my girlfriend.”

“Uh huh, so it wouldn’t be a problem if you two kissed right now?” The water you had previously been drinking almost surged out of your mouth, your eyes wide. 

“I-I…Dami..Damian isn’t really a fan of public affection like that and-” Damian squeezed your hand again, causing you to stop mid sentence. 

“Hush, beloved. It’s just one simple kiss. We’ve done way worse stuff before.” He husked. You did your best to keep the not-so-clean thoughts out of mind when he mentioned the last part. Damian swiftly pulled you closer to the point where you were half in your chair, half sprawled on his lap. “Plus, if I get to prove Tim wrong, then it’s just a bonus.”

Your body was completely on fire, every single touch Damian graced you with sending fireworks bursting along your skin. Breath was in short supply and you were pretty sure your hands were becoming clammy with sweat. He titled your chin up with his forefinger and thumb, looking down at you as if he really did love you. You tried not to let the possibility of it being true drown you. It was an impossible task, especially when you can feel his gentle lips barely gracing yours. 

You were doomed. 

MwahahahahAHAHAHahahhahahAH

I am evil >:)

Writing part three really was a demonstration of patience and trusting the writing process, and how taking breaks are necessary. Four hours ago, I felt like banging my head against a wall at how terrible this originally was and it wasn't until I stepped away, took a nice bath and baked some cookies that I everything started to click into place.

But I am extremely tired and am going to pass out in the next five seconds.

Lastly, here is my awesome and amazing taglist!

@greenkiki, @noah-uhhh-what, @littlemiss-nightshade, AND @itzstaticrainbow

[iiratix]

Could I perhaps request a part 3 to enemy territory where reader comes back? owo thanks :3

Home

Where the infamous Prefect returns back to where she belong

Honorable tag : @kitty-chan33 @y3nao @skylar896 @xionstevenson03 @nooneknows8976

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3

“And that’s everything you had.”

Aura placed the suitcase down, stood up, and fixed the wrinkle in his uniform. The guest room that was once filled with different kinds of ointments and other necessary notebooks was no longer there. Including the clothes that were once in the closet but are no longer there, the room has become as tidy and neat as it was supposed to be.

Y/n looked around the room where she had been staying for almost an entire week with a solemn look in her facial expression. There’s no doubt she didn’t expect the time to move fairly fast. It only feels like yesterday that she received some sort of vacation from the headmaster. It feels like she’s still in a reverie that will take her some time to wake up from. 

“Y/n? Is there anything else you might have forgotten?” The prefect snapped out of her daze, turning to face the residents of this school and shaking her head. Aura smiled in return, his eyes gazing straight into her e/c ones, and those auroral hues were filled with fondness. “I see… Regardless, I’m happy I can be of assistance to you.” He admitted truthfully without making any falsehoods.

Y/n blinked at the sight of such an innocent being in front of her. How can one look so fragile, frail, and loving yet be feared by others for no particular reason? She would have blamed Heres, whose appearance resembles that of a titan, given that the height difference between him and Aura is the same as that between the sky and the ground.

The prefect of the Night Raven College walked towards her suitcase, making sure that the lock was secured and preventing any smuggling cases. “Thank you, Aura.. Sorry if I bothered you.” She lifted her head and looked at the male, who was scratching his cheek sheepishly.

“Truly, there’s no need to thank me. This is the least I can do before your parting.” Y/n smiled at his words, aware that this would be the last hour she could ever spend with the others from RSA. And honestly, she will admit that it was quite an exciting experience for once. It makes her feel like she was an exchange student. 

“I need to thank you and the others for the kind hospitality you all have been showing.” She smiled happily, resulting in Aura being happy as well. The two of them are nothing more than a bundle of joy that somehow recharged each other's happiness and radiated nothing other than comfort for each other.

It was unfortunate for Yasmin, who came at the worst time and quirk a brow at the sight of the sunny student of this school with another sunny but stressed student from another school. “I wouldn’t bother questioning what I’m seeing.” He said with a sigh, feeling Rajah nudge his arm and his hand caress the top of his head.

The sudden appearance of the two startled her, but it didn't take long for her to calm down. It was only Yasmin and his tiger, Rajah; the two of them held no harm, and they're one of the few people and a certain animal that have been accompanying her lately during her visit to this school. 

“Yasmin, you surprised me. What brought you to Y/n’s room? Here to bid farewell?” Aura has turned his back on Y/n, earning a light sigh from the male on the opposite side.

“You ask unnecessary things.” Rajah sat down on the ground, his tail flicking back and forth, staring sharply in her direction. The prefect herself wasn’t certain what the feline wanted, but Yasmin was more than capable of diverting the tiger's attention away. 

“What sort of friend am I if I don’t do that much?”

“Ah… I’m surprised… You are not the type to admit it blatantly.”

Yasmin scoffed, looking the other way, understanding that what he had spouted wasn’t entirely wrong. However, this might be her one and only chance to visit this place. That’s why he personally came to her and bid her goodbye. 

Y/n blinked for a moment, until she giggled lightheartedly, catching the two males' attention. The two wondered: What did she find funny in this situation? Aside from the fact that Yasmin is in total denial about what he just said, there’s nothing else to laugh at, so it makes them confused about whether she is mentally ill or not. Is this by any chance the after-effect of being with the NRC students too much?

“Rielle must have influenced you in some way.” Yasmin's judging countenance makes Y/n stifle her laughter. Of course, the sea coral princes might have been clinging to her for the past few days during her visit, but he didn’t spread any bad influence. 

Hence, she was quick to shake her head, smile, and lift her gaze up to look at the two. “Ah, nothing. But…” Y/n trailed off from her words, fiddling with the ends of her sleeves. “But I’m happy to know that I’m your friend. I'll try to visit during break!”

“You absolutely can’t.” Aura chuckled upon hearing Yasmin's response. That came out harsher than expected, and Y/n looked like a puppy that had been thrown away by her beloved master. Yasmin found himself sweating at the sight, reaching out to rub his temple, and thinking of a much kinder phrase.

However, no matter how hard he thought about it, it was absolutely difficult for him to form one. And Aura was more than knowledgeable enough to understand his current struggle. So, as the kind friend he was, he interpreted or translated the meaning behind his words. “He didn’t mean that. What Yasmin tried to say is that we will be the ones to visit you.”

“...Eh?” Y/n’s eyes comically went white, and she was blinking profusely at the sight of a smiling and jovial student in front of her. She looked right behind him and spotted Yasmin nodding in agreement at what Aura was saying.

This much more is disastrous information to learn. Will the NRC students or her friends agree with their sudden visit? Y/n can’t prevent her thoughts from imagining the worst scenario that could have happened. Not only will it be a small rivalry and competitive, but there might be a war that occurs between two schools.

“I’m not sure whether that’s a wise idea.” The prefect said this nervously, hoping that it would somehow change the two students' minds.

“Nonsense. We have been there a few times during our Magift battle; the others will certainly accept us.” Aura’s words held nothing other than optimistic expectation. However, Yasmin looked the opposite; he looked like he knew what might happen but chose to ignore it.

It doesn’t look like they’ll change their mind any sooner…

●○●○●○●○●○●○●○●○

“It has been a wondrous encounter for me.” Aalis stands in front of her, representing the entire RSA on her behalf, to bid her farewell. 

Y/n rubbed the back of her neck and lowered her head, embarrassed to be in the presence of the dorm leader. “Right, thank you… I’m happy that Ambrose sent an invitation to me.” She raised her head and noticed the soft hues of vibrant blue eyes peering at her figure with interest. 

It has been awhile since she somehow managed to have a peaceful day without any ruckus or havoc. Somehow, it has been a bit too peaceful and serene to the point she can’t help but feel uneasy. Nobody can blame the prefect for this; her entire life has revolved around various types of problems, and she has become the student's therapist because she has no other way to relax.

But she can't help but think about how much she misses them all. Those people were the first to accept her in this world; they taught her the fundamentals and everything else; that place was her first home. So right now, she can’t help but anticipate her return. Y/n minds are constantly trying to imagine how others will react to her, how they will greet her, and everything else, despite the fact that a smile adorned her countenance.

Aalis, who was standing in front of her, witnessed her adoring smile. It appears that he is unable to carry out the plans that he and the others have discussed; there was no way he could have persuaded her to stay here if she insisted on returning to their side. To the person they considered to be a rival and an enemy in a variety of ways.

The dorm leader fleetingly sighs, ruffling his already messed up hair lightly, and tries to come up with a solution. There's no doubt that each of them has feelings for the prefect; her presence isn't something they can dismiss as insignificant, and she knows how to leave an indelible impression on the others.

“It appears you… Hah, I surrender.” Those declarations surprised Y/n, who looked back at Aalis, who appeared to be troubled at the time. She didn't understand why he said that out of nowhere; she needed at least the context behind his words.

“Dear Alice.” The nickname that came out of his mouth perplexes her about the manner in which she chose to address her. But Y/n can't help but notice how his eyes glimmer with indescribable emotions she's not sure about. "If only the wonderland you've entered had been ours, I could have guaranteed you'd have the time of your life." 

Aalis bowed and held her hand gently; he pushed it forward in his lips, kissing the back of her hand out of courtesy or perhaps much more. “However, this place isn’t your wonderland, and I won’t force you to be a part of it.” Those blue eyes drifted to her e/c ones, observing how her eyes twinkled and red blossomed in her cheeks.

Slowly, he lowered her hand and stood upright, brushing away the strand of her hair back to her ear. “All of us will be waiting patiently for the next meeting.” Aalis lowered his hand to his side, allowing his head to crook slightly and his lips to purse into a small smile.

“I’m certain this won’t be the last of our meetings.”Y/n clasped her hands together, pursuing her lips into a thin line, trying to comprehend his action. Her mind, however, was not functioning properly, and she nodded frantically.

That action elicited a small chuckle until Aalis turned to face the carriage behind them. “Off you go, dear Alice.” Aalis ushered her out, gently holding her shoulder and giving her the light push she needed when he turned her around to face the carriage.

Y/n took a few steps forward and stopped by the stairs. She looked behind her to see Aalis standing there, waiting until she was completely out of sight. This will be one of her most memorable places, and she was certain that it would not be the last. So, Y/n managed to offer him a bright smile, grinning happily.

“I’ll see you all soon!” 

Aalis blinked once, perplexed by that bright demeanor, but it didn't take long for him to crack a smile. The dorm leader nodded, watching the prefect take a step inside and close the door. He stood there in silence, listening to the sound of the horse's feet galloping in the ground, regretting that the others were busy—

“Y/NNNN—!!!!”

Aalis flinched visibly, turning around to face the balcony, where the majority of them were standing. Y/n can hear the shout of her name because the carriage windows are open, which piqued her interest as she looked out from the carriage interior. 

Rielle stood on the balcony, waving frantically with the others, who didn't match his exuberant demeanor. Aura, Heres, Yasmin, Neige, and Chen'ya were all present, saying their final farewells. Despite the fact that their actions were unpredictable based on the way Aalis flinched, and given that it was lesson hour right now, they skipped class. 

“FAREWELL, Y/N!!!” Rielle was the loudest and the only one who could send this message to the prefect. Though Aura did his best to keep himself from falling, he's leaning too far away from the railing for his own safety.

“That moron…”

From her perspective, Y/n can see how resigned Aalis is to the young prince's antics. This brought unending surprise for her, and she laughed at this merry farewell. To be honest, she didn't expect the others to be there, saying their goodbyes until she exited the gate, but here they are, happily and sadly watching her leave the RSA gate.

“PLEASE TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF!!”

“WE’LL SEE YOU IN A WEEK!!! FAREWELL!!”

Hearing that, Y/n's body stiffened; it's a shame the carriage had moved by the time Rielle was shouting. Next week? The RSA student will pay her a visit the following week. The prefect can't stop the dread that comes with that realization, so she looked out the window, her face filled with nothing but horror.

“RIELLE, WHAT DO YOU MEAN NEXT WEEK?!?!” There's no doubt that the others understand what Rielle means. It was more of an explanation since Aalis' smile had turned into a smirk and one of his hands was placed by his hips.

That’s where everything finally sinks in.

“No… NO!!! YOU GUYS WILL START A CIVIL WAR!!!”

Her constant panic shriek went unnoticed by the others who had already made up their minds. There's no doubt they're serious, and everything Aura and Aalis have said will come true. Now, Y/n truly wonders which one of these schools is the devil's.

●○●○●○●○●○●○●○●○

Y/n fluttered her lashes open, peering outside the window at the sight of a gate in front of them. She’s here; she already returned back to the Night Raven College, the school she had abandoned in favor of her own vacation. In her defense, she needs some time away from the chaos at least once, and Ambrose was more than kind enough to invite her over.

The door of the carriage parted open; her suitcase had been placed down right on the ground, amusing her about how magic works around here. With that aside, she picked up her suitcase by the handle and said her thanks to the worker, who could only nod, driving the horse and carriage away from NRC territory. 

Disregarding the fact she had finally returned, she wondered whether the school had been this awfully... eerie.

The gate opened the minute she walked through, and everything appeared to be normal except for the fact that it had been midnight. Luckily, she didn't have to deal with anything or face a reprimand for slipping away despite the objections of others; she was positive that regardless of how many times she attempted to explain herself, these individuals wouldn't let it go.

That's why she was carefully heading towards her dorm, having looked back and forth between the main road and her vicinity, mindful that several individuals may ambush her out of nowhere and confine her, demanding an explanation. The very notion of it made her tremble, and she feared her future and safety at this school considerably more than she did in RSA.

“...Is it just me…”

“Or do I feel like…” Y/n stood there stupefied at the banner that was present right in the area of her dorm.

WELCOME HOME, CHEATER!!!

“This is something Ace and Epel would have done…” There was no question that the two would've done something analogous. After all, the others aren't capable of committing such a trick, although if they were, they would have done something significantly more heinous than this.

This wasn’t something that could be deemed extreme. This is still the normal kind of reaction that can be received from the residents here. What concerned her the most was the presence of a group of people inside her dorm, arms crossed, lights dimmed, and their backs to her.

What are these fools up to…? 

“Look who's back… Guess you got bored, huh?” The strangely familiar presence makes her grimace at the antics of her fellow first-year classmates. They are, in fact, none other than her closest friends.

He slammed his head on top of the table, the sounds resonated in the small vicinity, and his voice held nothing other than anger. “I can’t believe you, prefect!! Not only did you sneak up on us, you returned without any souvenirs!!” 

“Uhm, Ace…” Jack called out to the boy, who was being melodramatic, much to his chagrin. “You are facing the wrong direction.” It was due to the way the sofa has been turned around to face Y/n direction, which makes his intimidating and furious acting prove to be pointless in the end.

Albeit wrong, he didn't bother and turned around, pointing accusingly in Y/n direction, wherein she was staring at him blankly with a dumbfounded countenance. “Do you not know the suffering I went through?! You are out there, living your life, while I’m becoming the dummy of Riddle’s pent up anger!! It’s not fair!!”Ace appeared to be nothing more than a child throwing a tantrum, and the others could see it as well.

“...I won’t bother questioning Ace, but I will ask why you followed him around with his shenanigans?” The others, primarily Epel, Jack, and Deuce, flinched at her sudden focus. The three of them turned their heads, practically away from those conflicting e/c eyes that demanded an answer.

“Oiii!! Don’t ignore me, N/n!!”

“At least, won’t you give me an explanation on why you are all here?”  

The prefect had returned to where she once belonged. For certain, there is chaos and bickering that await her in this sweet abode, but she cannot prevent that smile from adorning her lips. Nothing else but the presence of these dorks manages to illuminate the darkness in her life.

She couldn't care less if she was chastised or not. The most important thing for Y/n was to stay by their side, to stay together, and to unconditionally support each other. Even if it means going through a lot of carnage together, this is her home, the one place where she truly belonged. 

[siberat]

“Let’s get this party started, right? My first food choice will be a classic appetizer- this blooming onion. *Picks up dish and holds toward the camera* Just look how huge this battered beast is! I just love how pretty this looks; the giant onion cut to look like a flower is so cute…almost too cute to eat.

I’m just kidding; of course, I’m gonna dig into this deep-fried dish. And I heard the sauce is simply to die for! *Tears off a few petals, dunks into sauce, and eats* But enough about my food, let’s move on to the first question, shall we?

*Squints at a datapad* First up is from an anonymous asker, who is eyeing up my wonderfully huge spread here. They ask which of these foods you are most excited to try.

*Face lights up, then scrunches, deep in thought* And this is going to be hard to answer: all these foods just look so scrumptious! One could never go wrong with Altihex rolls or ice cream! And, of course, that crystal cherry pie is universally famous! *Stifles a laugh* 

But if I had to choose just one…. Hmmm… *Bites lower lip* I suppose I am most excited to try these mini-cinnabar pancakes. *Points to the smaller plate of fluffy, purple cylinders loaded with syrup* They are a new receipt I recently found, and figured I would share my first time experiencing them with you! However, I am not going to eat these quite yet. *Wags a finger, then polishes off the blooming onion*

Hmmmm… this onion was very sweet, and the batter was so crisp and flavorful! I sure demolished this flower, huh? *Shows emply plate* And the remoulade dipping sauce had just the right amount of kick to it! Spicey, but not burn your mouth off!

What should I sample next? *Optics scan the table* Oh! This fried robot-chicken looks like a swell choice, doesn’t it? *Pauses, looking at camera* Oh, I sure hope you all are munching on your favorite foods, too. I’d hate to be the only one stuffing my face silly!

But just look at these legs, wing and breast! *The dish is grabbed and set upon his lap* Once again, it is a fried dish. Yes, it most definitely is not the healthiest, seeing as it is loaded with grease. Shyly smiles* But that is what makes it so good! Please, pardon me while I sink my fangs into this drumstick. *Picks up a leg and bites into it*

Oh, my stars! *Optics widen in enjoyment* This is just divine! Did you all hear that crunch? *Looks at camera* The skin is slightly salty, but the meat is so juicy and savory! Oh, I wish I could share this with you all!

*Lifts an arm and points a finger* But I can share the next shout with you: I love your décor Drift!

Oh, thank you for taking notice, Fox! *Smiles sweetly, optics forming half-moons* I simply love springtime colors, don’t you? They create such an uplifting atmosphere and always make me happy! Perfect for meditating, wouldn’t you say? *Nods helm*

Oh, and allow me to show off the aroma therapy candles! *Beckons to his left* I have the lavender ones burning now. They assist in calming one's processor and just relaxing your frame. After a long day working next to Rodi/mus, the smell takes away your stress and anxiety. 

*Face drops in shock* Please. Don’t tell him I told you that. I’m only playing around! *Sucks at grease and breadcrumbs on his fingers* Oh, do pardon me- this robo-chicken is finger-licking good!

Do you guys like my quartz crystal?? *Motions to his right* It’s the seventh chakra crystal, amplifying your energy, inner thoughts, and spirituality. Plus, its colors are simply gorgeous, wouldn’t you agree?

And who would not want to look at such handsome pictures of Rat/chet? *Face lightens in joy* The one with both of us was such a sweet day: the anniversary of our courtship! And the other one…*Raises brow* well, let’s just say I cannot resist my love even when he is being such a cranky-bot!

Rat/chet is not fond of that photo, I might add. *Gives the camera a serious look* But I think he looks so cute!

Would you look at this? *Shows camera plate full of picked clean chicken frame* I sure polished off this dish! Sucked the meat right off that framework, huh? *Licks lips* That dish was tasty. Let's give this bowl of spaghetti a try. *Grabs bowl and shows to camera*

The noodles are high-quality lithium, and I purchased them freshly made right in front of me. It was entertaining to watch them roll out the dough and cut it into these tiny strips. *Points to round pink sphere on top of the noodles* And that giant meatball just seals the deal!

Let's move on to another question as I slurp this dish up. *Feeds himself a large amount of noodles and works to suck them into mouth*

Another anonny is asking about food. *Winks* I see you enjoy the finer things in life as much as I do! ‘How about a food question to help your appetite.’

Oh, my dear anon! *Playfully waves at camera* While I appreciate your concern, I don’t think I’ll need much encouragement to graze on this feast before me! My tummy was grumbling all day! ‘Do you snack often, and what is your go-to?’

Well, the teachings of Prim/us come with warnings of gluttony and greed. *Gives a serious look* Too much of a good thing can be seen as a sin. While I do see the point, I see no harm if your feasting isn’t taking from others.

However, I do not mean to get sidetracked! *Stabs meatball with fork and takes a big bite* Although, I just want to mention how good this meatball is! Rolled-up silicone with hints of feldspar…. Chef’s kiss!

I go through bouts of snacking. *Tilts helm* Casual snacking is usually heathy energon foods, such as ener-nuts, fresh crystal fruits and ener-bars are suitable for working long shifts on the bridge. Cottage cheese, made from pasteurized ener-milk, is another filling snack, full of nutrients that help you feel satiated for hours. Plus, it tastes like ricotta cheese but has more of those super fun curds! *Winks*

As for the junk foods… *Smirks* Well, I can’t lay off the sweets. I am sure you could figure that out based on the dishes I selected. I love those prepackaged mini pastries, especially the ones with cream filling! *Fingers wiggle in excitement* Talk about a sugary rush! Donuts, pies, and even candied geodes make for a much more fun break time! *Face returns to serious look* But I do tend to limit those. Sadly, they serve as a quick pick-me-up, but you tend to crash hard afterward.

And this pasta has been demolished. *Shows empty bowl* See? Nothing left!

Oh, I know what I want to taste next. Check this dish out! *Holds up selected dish *Olivine on toast with a sunny side ener-egg on top! I just love dippy eggs! *Smiles widely* It’s fun to pop them and watch all the tasty yolk spill out everywhere. And the Olivine has such a creamy and earthy taste that I simply adore! Spreading it on toasted barium bread warms it nicely and makes for a good, hearty breakfast.

Oh my. *Eyes widen, jaw drops*

This next question is fascinating. *laughs* Alcorian asks a rather funny one: ‘What’s some silly disagreement that you and Rat/chet can never come to an agreement or compromise about?’

Well, a serious one is the whole concept of spirituality, but we came to a mutual understanding about that. A silly disagreement… well… the bed sheets. *Meekly smiles*

Yes. You heard me correctly. *Holds servo out* Hear me out.

I just love to climb into a berth with tucked-in bed sheets: it feels like a giant warm hug! *Smiles, then face gets serious* Rat/Chet on the other hand, prefers the blankets to be loose. *Scrunches up face as toast is dipped into egg yolk* Claims being tucked in makes him feel smothered. What a poor baby! So, after a bit, he kicks his side loose. *Shrugs his shoulders* I try to scold him, but he assures me he will keep me tucked in. *Smiles and blushes* How can one be mad after hearing that!

Oh, I just thought of another one. *Optics widen* You get a two-for-one! And I could use your opinions on this. *sighs* When putting cups in the cabinets, do you place them face down or face up? They should be face down; that way, no dust or grimy stuff collects in them. *Tilts helm* Rat/Chet just puts them in any which way! When I discuss this with him… he gives the typical Rat/Chet response. *Gives impression of Rat/chet’s behavior* You know, the hand wave while muttering, ‘Yeah, yeah yeah.’

Oh, this olivine toast was ever so tasty! *Licks lips*That runny egg dripped all over the place but really hit the spot! Nice and toasty.

Alright. *Face goes stern* Now comes a tricky question: What’s next?”

… ……

Still taking on more askes! So, if you have a question for Dr/ift, send it in! You can send multiples. Also, if you wanted to ask as another TF character- just state so! Let’s keep this mukbang going and see if our dear swordsmech can handle all that food infront of him!

( if your ask didn’t get answered, I am saving some for other rounds)

previous: https://www.tumblr.com/siberat/733711321796837376/mukbang-are-we-recording-yeah-okay-hello-fans?source=share

[captjameshookthoughts]

Once again I am having thoughts about James and his relationship to trauma. This time about how well the recent peter Pan & Wendy film portrays the long term effects of childhood trauma.

Don’t expect some great essay, I’m pretty sick and hopped up on pain meds right now, but I wanted to get some thoughts out anyways.

A lot of people who have been through childhood trauma indentify as having conflicting feelings of their maturity. In some senses they were forced to mature too quickly in order to adapt and survive, but having to mature in those areas so quick also took away the ability to mature in other areas, they also talk about living life as if they’re playing a role and I think that dissonace is very apparent in PP&W Captain Hook.

we see a man who is aged beyond his years, tired, exhausted. A man with the good sense and maturity to have become captain of his own ship. A man who has earned the respect and loyalty of his crew. A man who is able to take charge in stressful situations. But the conflict of his forced maturity and immaturity is present throughout.

The dangerous pirate captain turns into an exciteable boy in his first scene where he fires the canon and then rushes forward asking “Did I get him?” the way one might if he were a child playing a game. The facade of being a serious, mature, pirate captain slips for a moment and doesn’t again until he meets John and Michael. That boop on Michael’s nose is pure playfulness, the sort of thing you’d expect maybe from friends or siblings playing at pirates rather than a man who actually is a pirate, and certainly not something you’d expect to see happen after how severe and sombre he’d been in the scene leading up to that moment.

Then in skull rock we see him being absolutely horrid and calculating, acting almost exactly as you’d expect a cruel, and ‘evil’ pirate to act. But even then he can’t quite supress that playful immaturity. “oops” and his singing, when he screams “Bad Form” again he seems more like and older sibling chewing out the younger for unfairness than any true threat.

It’s like He has so much poise and presence, because that’s the part of himself that he was forced to mature into, but his emotional regulation is still quite immature because he was still immature when his trauma happened and he just wasn’t given the room to deal with it and mature as someone without trauma would have. Stressful situations force him to snap one way or the other.

The scene where he returns to the ruins we see his poise and presence at it’s absolute highest quality. He’s calm, almost disturbingly so. And that sort of calm can very much be a trauma response as much as anything else. but that sequence leads to the scene that I believe shows his immaturity as a resort of trauma better than any other. The ease he has, the comfort he seems to experience when talking to Wendy- a teenage girl. He talks to her as an emotional equal, he opens up to her like he hasn’t done to anyone else, he lets her *know* him. And then she insults him and SNAP he switches to his more mature side. The side with presence, the side that takes command.

Later we get to see how Smee reacts to his conflicting maturity. “Surely there should have been a splash by now?” “Unless she fell very slowly.” Like that interaction is one of a caregiving adult reassuring the child they care for. The shortly after, SNAP once more, he’s back to being commanding, taking control.

Actually, despite what Wendy said, I do think that his most emotioanlly mature and sound moment is “It’s not *supposed* to be fun.” it’s like that’s the moment he finally recognises his trauma for what it is. And all things considered, it feels like he’s not just yelling it at Peter, but also at himself because he’s actually reached a point where he hasn’t fallen into his immaturity in response to Peter and their fighting. He’s being honest with himself, with everyone. He’s showing his pain, and as we see in the last shots of the film that was the beginning of his healing.

[archangeldyke-all]

Teaser for dream girl Sev:

Aromatic wisps of rosemary and sage wafted through the bathroom, the scents intermingling with that of the light and warm, semi-bubbly milk bath your wife had drawn for you when she’d gotten home for the day. You let out a soft sigh, your head barely hanging over the edge as you sank further into the calming water, trying to let as much stress seep out of you as possible. 

Familiar and comforting hands found your shoulders, a kiss being planted on your temple as she spoke, voice barely a rumble over the neo-soul that was playing from the speaker on the sink counter, “How are you feeling, dream girl?” 

“Better now that you’re in here,” you hummed as you looked up to her, pressing a kiss to her chin as she massaged your shoulders. 

Her laugh was quiet as she ducked lower to press an upside-down kiss to your lips before kissing up the bridge of your nose. The playful little pecks turned reverent as her lips landed back at your forehead, peppering across the area as her hands moved. 

Fingers splayed out over your neck and partially your collar as she pressed her thumbs behind your ears, rubbing in circles. You all but melted in her hands, letting your eyes slip closed once more as you enjoyed her touch and kiss. 

“Have you started yet? I dropped last night.” 

You shook your head, letting out a little sigh, “Not yet, though I wish it would hurry up. These body aches are killing me and if I keep gagging, I’m gonna throw up and that’s gonna make me cry.” 

She cooed, thumbs now tracing down, applying a slight pressure as she dragged them along the line of your jaw, “My poor little mama...” 

“Why poor me? You’re the one that’s actually on. I should’ve been the one drawing a bath for you when you got home.” 

“Sure, but if you never drop then you know what that means,” she hinted. 

You rolled your eyes playfully, humming, “True... we’ll see. I’ll let you know what happens.”    “Now about this gag-” 

“No.” 

“You didn’t even let me finish,” she pouted. 

“I don’t have to. You were about to ask if it’s too bad for me to suck a lil’ dick. You’re so sick and twisted and completely un-slick, little nasty,” you shook your head, pushing her face playfully. 

“Well, you’ve got me there. It was worth a try in my book,” she shrugged.

shaking screaming crying throwing up rn. omg. SHES SO PERFECT SHES EVERYTHING TO MEEEEEEE. mars u write sevika so beautifully, she's so silly and sweet. OF COURSE she's gonna ask for you to suck her dick, she's never not horny for you! i fucking love her she's ridiculous and amazing. literally my dream girl. i am SO excited for this omg.

[underqualified-human]

Nimh and Kelby: romantic headcanons [trans masc reader]

→ Request: Hi I was wondering if you could do Nimh, Kelby, Garret, and Dmitri from Blush Blush romantic headcannons with a trans masc reader if that’s to many characters you can just do Nimh and Kelby thank you 

→ A/N: I think I’ve stated this before but once again: I am not trans and if I said something incorrect please correct me. 

Lighter note - I headcanon Kelby as being Afrikaans South African [source: He has no confirmed nationality and likes rugby also I’m South African and said so]

→ Warnings: Mentions of doctor's appointments/hospitals

→ Fandom: Blush Blush

→ Genre: Headcanons

→ Pronouns: He/Him

Nimh:

I feel like he has a lot of random medical knowledge saved, so he likes to share some facts with you- It’s his love language

His search history is filled with stuff like “What to get boyfriend for anniversary” and “Good date ideas”

Definitely blushes while holding hands

Really into cooking for you - Whether you’re exhausted from work or excitedly helping him, he just loves feeling useful and wanted

Insists on carrying all the bags when you go shopping

Library dates <3

Knows how stressful doctor’s appointments can be so he’s very supportive

He likes to dance and is definitely the type to sway to music playing on the kitchen radio

Finds quotes from books that remind him of you and leaves them around for you to find

Kelby:

Calls you ‘Bro’ and ‘My guy’ but affectionately [also calls you ‘Bokkie’]

Wants you to join him on his morning jogs, but understands if you don’t join [still ends up waking you at like - 5 AM]

Likes to make you meals but isn’t very good at it - hope you like protein shakes!

Invites you to all his matches and is super sad if you can’t make it

Please take his vuvuzela away he blows it whenever he’s excited/trying to support you - which is basically always

Honestly is the type of guy to give you money as a gift because he’s too nervous to get you something you won’t like

Matching couple’s shirts are the peak of romance [If lost please return to Y/N + I’m Y/N]

I have the feeling he’s scared of hospitals so you’ll probably end up calming him down 

Rock-paper-scissors decides who makes dinner

Tagging: @yeetusdeefetus [requester]

[rianafying]

journal entry time i guess

idk what i said in my last journal entry or how much of my chaotic life my journal is up to date with, but i’ve started earning a little more than i used to and things have been nice. going pretty smoothly. which is pretty shocking, considering how incompetent and inconsistent i am prone to being. i’ve been calm. i did have a full on panic attack this morning, but i did the steps and went back to normal in a few hours. i bought some cornflakes for myself as a treat. i wanted to get cinnamon toast crunch but they don’t have that at woolies, and the closest thing they have is cinni churros (mini churros dusted w cinnamon sugar), i’ve had them before and they’re good but they’re expensive, so i just got the honey nut cornflakes. oh here’s a thing, in bangladesh, cereal in general is called cornflakes regardless of whether it is actually flaked corn or not. obviously not in every family, but in mine and many other i know, this is the case. and by far the most popular cereal option is kellogg’s chocos. but i’m not a chocolate girl, so actual corn flakes for me thanks. (only second to cinnamon toast crunch, whatever that is made out of, toast? crunch? is it made out of crunch??)

i went on a walk like i have been doing everyday lately, just got home and i’m excited to take a shower and have a bowl of my good stuff. super excited. after that, i’ll prep for tomorrow’s shoot. but it’s in the evening so i’m not too stressed out. and it’s just one model and one outfit. so all good.

i have that stupid ass crush on this person that i spoke to once and now im posting stories on MESSENGER? trying to get their attention, it’s so dumb im. there is no excuse or explanation for this it’s pure pathetic. but i can’t stop thinking about this person. what do i even want out of this? nothing. because i don’t even like myself enough to let someone else like me. and they probably don’t even like me. which is fine. it’s fiiiiiiiiine. it’s fiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiine.

don’t they know it’s the end of the world. anyway, for some reason i think the movie of my life end this year. i’m not gonna do anything, but it feels that way, like, the credits are about to roll after the melancholy christmas scene. it just weirdly makes sense. that i won’t make it to next year. you know when a horrible death is juxtaposed with a nice new year’s eve kind of song or like the ending credits kind of song. i’m thinking of “the end of the world” by skeeter davis, but im not married to it.

i’m tired of it all actually. i’m tired of everything. i’m not devastated though. but i feel like im just done.

my journal entries are not supposed to make sense, and so they won’t. i’m literally writing it as i’m waiting for my scalp medicine to do its thing. my psoriasis has been completely out of control, and i’ve stopped trying to control it. i just go through the motions, i put on my medicines and oils when i can, and i do my homework, when i can, i wake up i do my chores and i go to sleep. and even at my happiest, i don’t think it’s worth it. i’m getting older, and i knew i’d be doing this by myself, and i know it’s not changing, ever.

maybe i’m just not that good at anything, and im fine with that, just let me step aside, i don’t want to participate anymore. i just want to get away. i want to stop. things are getting better and even in the scenario that everything works out as i hoped, i still don’t want it. what do i want? i don’t even want to read books or watch movies. but i still do. because that’s what i’m supposed to. i don’t even care anymore. i can’t think of something i care enough about. enough to stick around. i don’t know why or how my journal took this turn i thought i was doing fine but looks like im kind of not doing that well.

i’m so tired. i’m so so tired, please. but i know i’ve been much more tired before and i still was okay. so i’ll be okay. i will. but. i’m so tired. i took that test and i scored 100% on positivity and 5% on happiness. and that checks out. i’m not ungrateful, but im not necessarily happy. but i don’t like to let people know im not happy. because they take it as a chance to point out my flaws or to give unsolicited advice. i don’t even care. m

i’m just a little overwhelmed. maybe i need to stop trying to be okay all the time and actually go through the emotions instead of pretending they’re not there. i can’t be numb forever.

maybe i need to just feel super sad tonight and not do anything. i really feel like binge eating. i’ve been kind of doing that recently. not really full on binging but eating more than i *need* to. which i can’t afford to do for too long. i’m just scared of letting food go bad and of idk, not having food, because that does happen to me on weeks when there are surprise expenses. but it’s not as bad as it sounds, i don’t even eat that much regularly.

IM SO DISTRACTED. i’m so distracted and i can feel my heart beating faster than it should even though i am in bed trying to RELAX. idk what is wrong with me. things are no where near perfect but i am doing much better than i was a couple of months ago, better than last year, better than any year before. i think.

but i wish i was doing better than i am now. nothing too crazy, i wish i had the time, money and energy to properly clean and decorate my room. and to be able to pause worrying about bills and food constantly. hopefully ill figure out how to do things better so im a step above just making ends meet. things are actually good and getting obviously better, then why am i still so upset? why do i complain so much? i just feel like ranting and ranting and ranting because im avoiding the things i should actually be doing. such as cleaning and homework. but i have such a hard time getting started. what with adhd and all. and i cant believe i posted a story on facebook after so many years just so some random stranger will give me attention, what’s that gonna do? nothing!!!

Baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah i just can’t do it, i can’t do things. i can’t do anything. I just watched 3 episodes of rory in yale and im in uni right now!!! isn’t that crazy? i’m living that life! i moved out, i live in my room which isn’t exactly a dorm room but it’s a unilodge so it’s close enough, and then what? i just feel like crying and i don’t even know why???? i’m not even that lonely, like i talk to my cousins and my friends all the time. i’m caught up with people, i meet people all the time, i participate in activities. i’m doing my best, i got 85-97% in all my assignments this trimester, and i just have two little assignments and an exam to go before my holidays start. but then the real difficult thing will begin. which is cleaning my room, which is the most godawful task to have ever been invented. but i’ll do it, and it’ll be hard and tiring and lengthy, and then what? do i get to enjoy myself? no i have to get a fucking job in hospitality or something, and earn extra money during my break. why does my scalp literally hurt. oh right because i have a severe chronic autoimmune disorder that makes my whole body flare up and makes my nails hurt. i love life 😍.

no but seriously, of all the things that could go wrong, psoriasis is still easy mode. i’m grateful. i’m very very grateful. you know what, it doesn’t really feel like i have the worst combination of problems like it used to feel before. like my eating disorder is kind of under control. so is my anxiety and depression. like it’s all still there but it’s not that bad? is it time for me to come to terms with the fact that the person i have a crush on is never going to text me again? but isn’t that nice? like isn’t that ideal? isn’t that literally what i wanted/want? it is actually. i think i just need some validation. it’s crazy how i end up wanting more validation when im on social media vs when i’m off of it for months. maybe after my trimester ends, i’ll get off of social media or figure out a solid plan to stick to that ensures i don’t spend too much time on socials, because it not only eats up my day but also makes me feel awful about myself.

it’s crazy how out of touch with my feelings and myself i get when im on social media. it’s decided then. i will severely limit my social media usage during my holidays. actually starting now. that’s one thing. and i’ve started walking regularly again, so that’s also good. what else, i go to therapy regularly, and i am journaling. i’m managing my money better? i’m doing the best i can. i’ve been emotionally self sufficient. i’ve been self aware and i have not been doing that bad. i’m being kind and forgiving to myself and to everyone else as well. i’m a better person now than i used to be, not necessarily in terms of intentions, but more in terms of consequences of my actions. but also because i’ve simply had the energy to do more for myself and for others. can’t fill their cup if my own is empty. things are good. i need to do something about my mood swings. this person i was talking to said to take cold showers to feel better and i would rather pour vinegar into my eyes than do that. but maybe i could give it a try. no i absolutely couldn’t. even the thought of it is jarring.

[katieboo13]

Would anybody be interested in me posting this fic, which I’m currently finishing, on AO3?

It’s a song inspired fic inspired by Act My Age by Hoodie Allen. The papaya boys fit it so well.

Oscar pov

McLaren must have some sick sense of humor. Their latest social media video idea is to have us, the youngest team on the grid, play with nostalgic childhood toys. No wonder everyone looks at Lando and I like we’re so child like, even the pr team is fucking leaning into it.

With two weekends in a row of the papaya car looking like it belongs in the race, now is the time to get serious and double down on the fact that we deserve to be here. We’re here to compete. With just Spa left before summer break, it’s one last chance to prove that I’m not just a rookie, I’m a future WDC.

And yet, here I am, sitting on these uncomfortable papaya chairs across from Lando who is wearing a facial expression that conveys that he is much more excited than I to be playing with children’s toys.

That’s the thing you have to love about Lando, he lives life with an air of childlike happiness. Sure, he’s spent time with his Monaco based best friend Max “I’m going to adopt the Kimi Raikkonen press strategy” Verstappen, but generally Lando is like a glass of champagne— sweet and bubbly, and you can help but join in on the laughter and smiles after a while around him.

He’s survived his rookie year, he’s gone through two older and more experienced teammates, he is loved by the grid and fans alike. And yet, around me he isn’t the wiser older teammate, but more like a class clown. Trying to break my façade and encouraging me to loosen up.

Easier said than done.

And he must know. I’m stressed beyond belief. I’ve seen the revolving door of teammates at McLaren. They’re willing to invest in youth but I know I need to be up to their standards or I might be packing my bags. Even at Prema, I was never the outgoing or fun seeking teammate.

I have seen the YouTube video comments. It’s not that I didn’t enjoy and encourage the antics of Fred, Robert, Arthur, and Logan— I just have a dream, a goal, and a need to focus to get there.

Logan understands. We grew up together. He saw me build confidence in myself, and I him. Despite what the racing world thinks of the American pilot, he’s not an off duty frat boy in a fast car, he’s shy and reserved in the paddock. And other drivers can sense it around him too.

We stick together because that’s how it’s always been. I calm him and he calms me. When given the opportunity, like when we are given the larger busses for the drivers parade, I stay with Lo because I know that his presence will regulate my emotions.

But now. In this Papaya room, Lando is having the opposite effect.

He’s squirming in his chair, struggling to get comfortable, and giggling like crazy. Even the media team is getting antsy. And he’s just looking at me. Big puppy eyes and all. Sitting leaned sideways in the chair like a lunatic, laughing. His stubbly beard and mustache he’s so proud of making him look his age in comparison to me.

It’s endearing really. How he can place p2 two weekends in a row, and still be this giddy before a race.

Although, his placing high has led to some interesting team bonding.

After Silverstone I found myself being dragged along with a thrilled Lando, who was practically vibrating with excitement. A second place finish in your home Grand Prix is certainly worth celebrating, but my fourth place was not. And yet he had convinced me to do a shoey on stage. His big puppy eyes, skin coated in sticky sweet champagne, and a crowd behind him watching my resolve crumble.

That’s where it all started. Somehow that resulted in me, being dragged into a hotel lift by a somewhat equally intoxicated Lando. The world was spinning by and my skin felt gloriously warm. Lando was hiccuping and giggling at us every time we tripped over our own feet.

Once inside the lift, Lando looked at me with an intensity that I’m not sure my sober self even now, two weeks later, can unpack. Suddenly I was not so sure what the cause of the heat on my skin was. Because even my ex girlfriend had never looked at me like she was that… hungry?

I hadn’t even intended to get this inebriated. But Lando kept buying us drinks. And I kept finishing them. And now.

Now I’m looking at this man, my older teammate, as he grabs a Barbie doll still in her box, and I can even feel the doe eyed dopey look on my own face. Lando breaks my internal struggle by waving poor Barbie in my face.

Can’t he act his own age?

After the video has been filmed and we are released for the day, only mildly worse for the wear— the audience now knows I might have consumed some play dough as a child— I stop him in the hall.

“Can’t you act your age?”

“Mate why would I want to… we missed out on being normal teenagers. Went to races on weekends and not secondary school parties. I was worried about racing license points, and not having a fake ID to get into pubs. Everybody else is growing up and getting jobs and isn’t going out and getting drunk, but I want to. We deserve to act a little childish.”

His response makes sense, but not at all. I gave up everything in order to get here. Now is not the time to just party.

“Osc, let me show you that growing up is lame. Let me show you why it’s a good thing to not act my age.”

Osc.

He called me a nickname.

Fuck.

My stomach didn’t just flip at the use of the nickname from my teammate. My face isn’t going red. My neck isn’t hot. And Lando definitely isn’t looking at me like a man who knows what he has done.

Nope.