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emonaculate · 4 years

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Swindle (I)

❥ AU: Modern!Mafia AU

❥ Genre: Future Smut / Angst / minor Violence

❥ Rating: 16+

❥ Pairing: Eren Yeager x Black!Reader

❥ Word Count: 1.9K

❥ Warnings Include: Domestic abuse, Profanity, Mentions of Rape, Murder, Violence, Corruption

Summary: Y/n L/n has been a world-renowned detective-turned-lawyer who has never lost a case, well that is until the criminal she is going up against, the notorious Eren Yeager, a man who just so happens to run one of the most dangerous mafia clans known to mankind, the Yaegerists. Will Y/n manage to beat this case too or will she fall to Yeager's charm and power?

Once her black heels connected with outside concrete, Y/n felt the flashing light of paparazzi taking her picture obsessively. She held onto her file folder and walked urgently into the federal courthouse. Y/n pushed her shades up, smoothed out her white button-down blouse and her black pencil skirt before entering the courtroom to see the jury and judge already being seated.

"I guess it's time to get this show on the road." She spoke to herself as she made her way to her seat.

Y/n sat down and checked the watch on her wrist, seeing that defendant was late. Her glossed lips remained in a respectful smile as she waited for the trial to begin. This case meant a little bit more to her than the usual ones; countless women and men have been going missing only to turn up dead or worse. While there was no real evidence of what was happening to them, all the data and clues lead back to international playboy Eren Yeager. Just his name alone carried enough weight that no one else from her firm even wanted to take the case.

The dark-skinned woman opened up her file case and looked over photos and evidence gather by the incompetent police force, she had a hunch that they were well aware of Yeager's ties to the crimes but had been paid off. No matter though, Y/n took down others with even less evidence, this was going to be a breeze. A light gleamed in her dark brown eyes as her smile grew wider, she had found the perfect loophole to get him before the trial even began.

"All rise!" She heard a loud voice announce meaning the trial had finally begun.

Y/n looked up, stood, and turned her head to see the nonchalant Eren Yeager leaning back in his seat, he didn't even look prepared to go to court. His long brunette hair was pulled up into a horrible-looking man-bun, the white button he wore was untucked and slightly wrinkled, pink lipstick marks littered his neck and Y/n couldn't help but roll her eyes in annoyance.

"You may be seated. And now we will commence the trial, Eren Yeager V..."

The woman stood up and moved out of her seat heading to the floor to speak; she walked past the male without a spare glance despite feeling his turquoise eyes greedily take in her form.

"I'd like to call on the defendant to speak. I just a few questions." The smile on her face was as polite as it was sinister.

"Mr. Yeager?" The judge looked at Eren and his lawyer.

"Sure." He shrugged and stood up heading to the floor as well.

Once Eren sat down, Y/n begun throwing her questions at him with the intent of getting him to slip up.

"Mr. Yeager, the first victim I'd like to bring up is your ex-girlfriend. Historia Reiss."

"Oh? You think I killed my ex?" He said slightly amused by her claim.

"Getting to that but first; as you know, all the evidence I have was given to me by Military Police, and it's no secret that evidence mysteriously disappears within their hands. So, I took it upon myself to do research."

"Well aren't you, a good little girl?" Eren hummed as he leaned over the banister.

"There's nothing little about me, however, I do pride myself on being a good girl." Y/n matched his banter whilst remaining professional, there was no way she'd allow him to get under her skin today, after all, she needed to avenge those poor souls.

"Back on topic, You and Miss Historia were a public couple for two months and then you just broke it off correct?"

"Correct. Mutual break up."

"So you had no problem seeing her with your brother just two days afterward? You felt no type of jealousy or anger?"

"I felt nothing at all. She was someone that lived in the moment. One day her favorite color was red, the next it was blue."

"Are you saying that Historia was just a fling?"

"Precisely."

Y/n's smile wavered for a moment and she bit her lip, knowing that what she was going to say next could throw the case from her side. It was risky but given how calm and collected Eren was currently looking, she knew she needed to get the jury antsy or at least stir something in the male to make him break or crack just a little.

"When Miss. Reiss's body was found, did you know she had been sexually assaulted moments before being shot to death? Her autopsy showed signs of struggling."

"..." Eren's eyes narrowed slightly as he looked at the woman.

"Miss. L/n.." The judge warned cautiously.

"My apologies. I have no further questions." Y/n turned prepared to walk back to her seat.

"I heard. I heard what happened to her. But no I had no part of it." Eren coolly breathed out.

Y/n looked back at him as she sat back down knowing that now it was time to bring out the big guns. She knew that there was no way in hell that he had anything to do with the death of Historia, but it was still a necessary blow to get him to crack and it certainly worked its magic. Even though the crack was no more than a small slither, it was enough for Y/n to slide through.

She took a sip of her water to wet her tongue as she listened to multiple victims' families break down and cry in front of Eren as they questioned the whereabouts of their loved ones' remains. Despite all of that Eren insisted he had no idea or part in any of it. Y/n stood back up prepared for round two, feeling confident enough that she was going to break him.

"As previously stated by others, most of the victims died in the same way and were women. I couldn't help but notice one fact."

"And that might be?" His guard was up, no longer holding onto that flirtatious persona, he had dawned earlier.

"They all rival the murder of your mother Karla Yeager."

And there it was, the mask that his face held came crashing down straight to the floor. Y/n's smile disappeared as well, nothing left but a solemn look as her brown eyes held a serious gaze with his rage-filled turquoise ones.

"My mother?" He sounded pissed and had begun to slightly shake.

"I told you, I did my homework. The autopsy for the late Mrs. Yeager, she was gunned down in midday light and no one saw anything, well know one but you. Am I correct?"

"Miss. L/n." The judge's voice boomed as he stared down at the woman in disbelief.

"Just a moment. Eren when your mother died, you were a young boy. So no one believed you when you protested about the 'titans' that took away your mother. And everyone that has been murdered besides Historia Reiss had a connection to 'Titans', excuse me, I mean the Marleyan Mafia." Y/n concluded not noticing Eren's face morphing into one of complete and utter rage.

"Now I have no further question-"

Y/n's words were cut off by the sound of an explosion, the commotion and debris sending her to the floor. The courtroom door burst open as Y/n began to sit up, the sound of gunshots rang off in her ears.

Screams and cries soon began to follow, Y/n's eyes widened in horror as she watched the body of the judge fall from his bench, blood splattering against the ground and oozing out of the open wound against his split opened head.

Eren stepped down from his stand and moved towards Y/n who shook on the floor. His face calm and collected again, despite the chaos that was raging. He gripped Y/n's arm harshly and tugged her up off the ground despite her struggle and stumbling.

"Drop the act, Y/n. The majority of the section has been cleared out." He finally said.

With his words, Y/n stood up straight as a smile formed on her face as she shoved him away from her.

"About time. I don't think I could sit through any more sob stories."

"That was a low blow about my mother, don't think you're getting off easy." He frowned gripping her wrist again.

"Oh? I did what I had to do. But consider it payback for all the other dirty work, I've had to do for you."

"You like getting dirty for me." His hand trailed up to her face as he squeezed her jaw tightly.

"Not when it involves me dealing with those perverted pigs at the station. Now let's go, I'm sure Armin is waiting for us."

She shoved him away again and turned on her heel walking past the fresh corpses toward the back exit that had been cleared completely out, Y/n gave Eren a blank look pausing in her steps.

"You owe me a new pair of shoes by the way."

"You keep giving me attitude and we'll see who owes who," He warned as he pulled out his phone to call Armin. "Blow this shit to hell."

Y/n watched him give commands over the phone and bit her lip, it was making her feel some type of way. God, it had been too long, a year without any real contact to ensure that this latest plan would work. Most of the jury had been people with ties to the Marleyan gang that Eren had been plotting to take out. The only way to get so many of them in one place was to have a trial and make it look as if it was certain Eren was going to jail.

"You know that if you come with me, you'll be a wanted woman." Eren voiced having hung up on Armin.

"Come on, you going soft on me Yeager? What happened to the only way out is death?"

He walked up to her and placed his forehead on hers silently. Y/n knew what he was trying to say, he had a superstition that if he admitted he loved her vocally, she would wind up dying just like everyone else he loved.

"I'm not leaving you. Now let's go before we get blown the fuck up." She mumbled softly as she pressed a soft kiss to his lips.

He laughed and held onto her hand as she made her way to the car that had been planted for them to escape in. The model was an old and retro mustang with a classy red paint job.

"Connie?" Y/n questioned as she slipped into the car.

"He thought it would look badass if we drove away from an exploding building with a mustang." Eren rolled his eyes whilst getting in as well as revving the engine.

"I gotta admit, it does sound hot."

Eren rolled his eyes and began to count down from ten, continuously revving the engine waiting for the explosions to begin. Y/n leaned back in her seat with a crazed smile on her face, the thrill of living life on the edge was getting to her again. Out of nowhere, the planted bombs began to go off one by one. Eren stepped on the gas and sped away from the sounds, the car jumping and bouncing from the debris of the explosions hitting against the car. Y/n held onto her seatbelt and laughed whole-heartedly as she looked at her boyfriend whose eyes were trained on the road, and that's when she knew she meant what she said.

She would follow him until the day she died.

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curiositybegetsempathy · 3 years

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I was sexually assaulted a year and a half ago by my best friend of twenty years. Her husband hid in the bathroom with his hand sticking out from behind the door as he secretly filmed it. I screamed and yelled and said I saw him. He simply pulled his hand back into the bathroom without a word. My best friend simply said, “don’t worry, it’s just for personal use.”

After a month of utter heartbreak, gruesome nightmares, terror, and isolation, I finally reported him to our mutual church. Because, might I mention, he was a PASTOR. He didnt get fired—they allowed him to voluntarily step down so that he could continue working as a pastor later without it being officially on his record he was fired. (A wonderful policy, am I right?) I made it clear to the pastor that I didnt want them to unnecessarily suffer out of revenge, but that I wanted to make sure no one else would go through the horror that I did, which is why I reported it to the church.

I stayed silent for a year and a half. I isolated. I tried to kill myself. I lost my entire community of 20 years. I told a select few people—my family and three close friends who didn’t know them. I knew that sexual assault is a very serious thing and that if people knew, they’d forever think of them differently. So I went into hiding. For their sake. Because even though I have had nightmares every single week, sometimes every single night, I wanted the best for them. She was my best friend forever, after all.

After being in therapy for 10 months, I finally listened to my therapist. I realized that by protecting them, I wasn’t protecting myself. Why should I allow them to keep all of our mutual friends? Should I not be allowed to share what happened to me, simply because I’m a human who deserves to be able to say when someone completely violates them.

So I reached out to someone from my community. On my way to pick them up after my 11 hour work day, my hands sweat so terribly they were practically sliding off of the steering wheel. I listened to My Tears Ricochet on repeat, to remember that Taylor wrote about this same pain I felt. “You’re the hero flying around saving face.”

We had small talk, shallow conversation for about an hour. The entire time, telling them was all I could think about. Finally, I got up the nerve. I told them, “I have something I want to tell you, but it’s hard. And I’m not sure if you even want me to, because it will affect you too.” They were his friends too, after all. He told me, “you can say it or you don’t have to, it’s up to you.” I attempted to say it for a few minutes, but every time I opened my mouth to speak, I could only muster a sigh. It’s been a year and a half, and it just never gets easier. Before I could actually get myself to say it, he broke the silence and said, “I know about it.” I was shocked. “What?” “I know about it...” I asked how he knew. He said “[the husband] called me a while ago, and we had a very, very, VERY long talk about it. Now, I recognize I’ve only heard one side. You can tell me your side if you want...” I said, “I don’t think I want to hear what he said,” to which he quickly replied, “oh, I wouldn’t tell you what he said anyway.”

I sobbed. I sobbed uncontrollably. I said I was sorry multiple times because I was embarrassed, because he stayed stone silent the entire time. The only time he spoke was in response to my apology, to which he replied, “you don’t have to apologize. I will never turn away raw emotion.” It was so, so uncomfortable, being so completely vulnerable about this horrible situation and never once hearing an “I’m sorry,” “that’s so horrible,” “you didn’t deserve it.” Nothing. At all.

I cried harder than I have since the day it happened. I didn’t want to go to sleep, since I already have nightmares about the situation often, but I couldn’t keep myself awake. I finally drifted off to sleep, and sure enough, I had a horrible nightmare about it. About not being believed. I woke up at 5am and I went right back to sobbing so, so hard. It just hurt so terribly. How could someone see someone else hurting so terribly, breathing so quickly they can’t catch a breath, and say...nothing? Mind you, this person used to be so empathetic towards me when I was sad in the slightest. It’s not that he’s just awkward with emotions.

And I realize now. The couple must have called our mutual close friends right after it happened, and, most likely, given this reaction and the confusing actions of a few other close friends who have uncharacteristically avoided me, they must have said that I assaulted THEM. Or that I came onto them and they denied some, so I reported them as a lie of retribution. And said that no matter what story I tell, theirs is the real one. That must be it. Everything else that’s been so confusing makes sense in that context.

How could someone hurt me so terribly and not only have no remorse about it, but go a step even further and attempt to sabotage my reputation in order to save their own? I have tried with all my heart to protect them, to allow them to be remorseful and be able to start over without exile. And now, not only are they clearly unremorseful, they purposefully want to hurt me.

I’m falling apart. I feel transported right back to when it happened. I had to call in sick because I couldn’t stop spiraling and crying. I’m trying so hard to be okay, but I’m also finally allowing myself to be angry. I’ve made excuses for them, wanting desperately to give them the benefit of the doubt. But now I know. They don’t deserve it, and honestly, they never have all the way along this.

“You know I left a part of me back in New York. You knew the hero died, so what the movie for? You knew it still hurt underneath my scars from when they pulled me apart, but darling this was just as hard. This was just as dark...as when they pulled me apart.

#tw assault #betrayal #taylorswift #taylor swift #taylornation #april 2021 #speaking up #time’s up

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zutaralover94 · 4 years

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Prompt #5 Request

This is for you anons! And for @dangerouspersonllamabagel and for @beealexageek

Once upon a time I said I would never write this but here it is!

Read below or Read on AO3 (hopefully I can post on Fanfic soon. Still dealing with those flags!)

Tags: One Night Stands, Pregnant AU, Roommates, Pining, More Pining on Zuko’s half, but Mutual Pining, Rated M, there is a dabble of smut, and a handful of cursing, mentions of the series ‘The Untamed’ and ‘The Office’, Anyone see the Friends inspiration?, I rewrote this more times than I’d like to admit.

Katara woke up with a huge headache. She rolled over and rubbed her face into the warm pillow. There was a groan above her, and she shot up in bed. She looked over to see someone sleeping next to her. She let out a scream before grasping her head in pain. Her eyes closed and she put her head down to her bent knees. There was another groan and the someone sat up next to her. Katara rubbed at her eyes. “Shit.”

“I agree.”

Katara turned to the familiar voice, “Oh fuck.”

Zuko blinked multiple times and then turned to her. “Oh fuck.”

Katara looked down to Zuko’s shirt and sighed, “Oh, thank God.” Katara moved out of the bed pulling the strap of her bra up onto her shoulder. “For a second there I thought we, you know-.” She ended her sentence with a soft laugh and then held her head as she stood up. “Whew,” Katara began pulling on her things from the night before. “I’m going to head downstairs. I’ve got to get something for this headache.”

Zuko patted at his bare thighs and found his boxers thrown over the hotel’s desk chair in the corner. He did his best to be calm as he searches through his non-existent memories to see if anything had happened last night. But he’s fairly sure if anything did happen with Katara, even if someone brainwashed him, that he would remember in an instant.

+++

Three weeks later, Katara groaned as she felt her stomach lurch again. Stupid Sokka and his dumb chicken parm. Katara leaned over the toilet bowl yet again. She dry heaved and cried a little when nothing came up.

“Woah, are you sick?” Sokka pushed open the door. His face screwed up as Katara dry heaved over the bowl again.

“Yes,” Katara whined. “Your stupid chicken parm made me sick.” She leaned back and rested her head on the cool tub.

“That can’t be it.” Sokka poked Katara in the forehead. “Both Suki and I are feeling fine. What are you pregnant?”

“Ha!” Katara burst out a laugh and pushed Sokka away. But then it hit her with another wave of nausea. Have I had a period this month? Katara wiped her mouth with the back of her hand. She mentally started counting backwards. And when she got to day 40, she started over again.

“Kat?” Sokka poked Katara again with a much more serious face. He handed her a glass of water. “I was kidding. I know you’re not seeing anyone.”

“Haha,” Katara gave a weak laugh. “Right.” She took a sip of water before laying her head back on the bathtub again.

Maybe she was just late.

+++

Two weeks later and many trips to the bathroom all but confirmed that she wasn’t just late. Katara bit her lip as she shopped through at-home pregnancy tests. She had done her research and was pretty sure which one to get. But standing in the aisle by herself was causing a queasy feeling. (That was not a morning sickness feeling. She knew the difference now.) Katara grabbed the one that had the highest ratings and another one just in case.

When she got home, she held the bag close to her and looked around the apartment. Most everyone was at work. Katara had called in with a stomach bug. She wasn’t too sure how long she could keep using that excuse. Joo Dee was becoming more and more suspicious.

She was almost too nervous to pee. Her hand kept shaking and her stomach was in so many knots. Katara was positive she knew the answer to this test. She was never late and never sick. She was as healthy and regular as any girl could be. Even so much Suki made fun of her.

Katara sat the test on the counter and sat down on the floor. She sighed as she looked around the small bathroom. She reached over for an old magazine in the bin beside the toilet. It was definitely dated but it would keep her mind busy for a few minutes.

Or so she thought. She got through one article about boob reductions before she grew bored and put the magazine in the trash can. Katara stood and leaned over the test but there was still no answer. She took down one towel and began refolding it. Then the next and the next. She put them back in color order making a very small rainbow on the shelf.

Katara froze as she heard the front door open and close.

“Kat?”

She took a deep breath in at the sound of Suki’s voice. Her hands on her stomach and she exited the bathroom with a fake smile. “Hey Suki!”

Suki gave her a strange look, “Did you stay home again?”

“No,” Katara said a little too quickly as she waved her hand as if to be nonchalant. “I, uh, took an early lunch and decided to come home and eat.”

“Oh,” Suki nodded and grabbed her lunch from the fridge and sat down at the table. “That’s good. I was a little worried when I saw your car that you decided to stay home again.”

“Nope,” Katara went to the fridge and realized it was pretty much empty, except for the case of beer, wine coolers and about three boxes of some sort of take out. Katara bit back a wave of nausea and quickly closed the refrigerator door. “You know what I think maybe I’ll just take a nap.”

Suki squinted at her, “You sure you’re okay?”

“Yeah, I’m fine.” Katara smiled over to her friend and hoped it look convincing.

“Okay, well I’m going to finish this and go. I hope you have a nice nap.” Suki followed her with still squinting eyes to her bedroom.

“Okay, have a great rest of your day!” Katara said cheerfully as she opened and closed her bedroom door.

Katara blew out a breath as she laid on her bed. She closed her eyes for just a moment. Not realizing how tired she was.

It was only twelve minutes later that Suki burst into Katara’s room. “Your PREGNANT!”

“Huh?” Katara rolled over and faced Suki. She rubbed her eyes as Suki held out a white stick.

“What-? Who?!” Suki pushed the stick further at Katara.

Katara blinked a few times before looking at the stick clearly. Two lines stared back at her. She sat up slowly and looked at the two little pink lines for a few more seconds. “I’m pregnant.”

“Yeah!” Suki nodded and handed her the stick. “Aren’t you happy?”

Katara sat there stunned after taking the stick from Suki. Of course. But… “Yeah.”

Suki sat on the bed, “So that’s why you’ve been so sick. You’re never sick.”

Katara only nodded. I’m pregnant. She placed a hand on her stomach. I’m going to be a mother. Katara’s other hand slapped to her forehead. Oh, fuck! I am going to be a MOM.

“Kat?” Suki nudged her best friend. “Kat!” She pulled the hand away from her head. “Katara! Babe! Woohoo!”

Katara blinked back at her friend. “I’m going to be a mother.” Suki’s smile was bright as she nodded. “I have no idea how to be a mom!”

“What?” Suki sat back but still held on to Katara’s hand. “It’s okay. They say it just comes to you. Plus, you’ve been mothering the Gaang since we were like 12. You’ll be great!”

Katara’s thumb brushed over the non-existent baby bump. “I’m pregnant.” She whispered again and looked down at hers and Suki’s hands. “What am I going to do?”

“What do you mean what are you going to do?” Suki squeezed Katara’s hand. “You’ve always said that you wanted kids.”

“I’ve also said I want to lick whip cream off of half the cast of ‘The Untamed’!” Katara countered.

“Yeah, but that’s like not something obtainable.” Suki shook her head with a small laugh.

“And being pregnant with no idea who the father is or how I’m even freaking pregnant,” Katara pulled from Suki and stood up. “I always thought I’d be married with a steady job first. Hell, being in a relationship would be a step above this!”

“Wait,” Suki stood up too. “You don’t know who the father is?”

Katara bit her lip and shook her head. She had run through everyone she had been with in the past three months. Even though she really only needed to know who she’s slept with in the last month. But even then, Katara couldn’t think of a soul.

Tears started gathering in her eyes again. If she didn’t even know who the father was, how was she supposed to raise the child? Katara wiped at her eyes. She was just going to have to think harder.

“Kat, calm down.” Suki put her hands on her cheeks. “Hey, look at me.” She gave a smile that calmed her slightly. “We don’t need to know who the father is. You’ve got me and Sokka and Zuko and Toph and Aang and Uncle Iroh.” Katara gave a hiccup and a smile at all the names Suki started rattling off. “That’s plenty of people to look after Peanut.”

“We are not calling my baby Peanut.” Katara said with a serious face.

Suki held up her hands and backed away, “Okay, deal.” They stood there for a few minutes before Suki wrapped Katara up in a hug. “I’m so happy for you! You’re going to be a great mom!”

Katara hugged her best friend back. She was quiet for a few minutes before whispering, “I’m going to be a mom.”

“Yeah,” Suki patted her back. “So, how long have you known? Or thought you knew?”

“It’s been about a month now.” Katara pulled back and sat back down on the bed. “You remember when I first started getting sick two weeks ago?”

“Yeah,” Suki nodded.

“I’m pretty sure I knew then. But what I can’t figure out is like a week or two before that. Where was I? What did I do?” Katara rubbed at her head. “I remember Mai’s and Ty Lee’s wedding was about that long ago. But I didn’t hook up with anyone at their wedding. Or at their bachelorette party. Or any other events like that.” She looked over to Suki. “The last guy I slept with was Haru and that was what six months ago now?”

“Oh, I did always like him.” Suki nodded and then shook her head when Katara gave her a look. “So, there is no one else? You didn’t go partying without me, did you?”

“No,” Katara looked around her room. “See, this is what I mean… How am I supposed to be a mom if I can’t remember someone I’ve slept with in the past-?”

There was a flash of heated skin and dark hair in her mind’s eye.

Katara’s ankles were hooked around a strong body. Her fingernails scrapping over one pectoral while the others dug into a right shoulder blade. Her teeth sunk into pale skin and sucked. A strong buck of hips caused her to release her teeth and her head fall back in a loud moan. “Oh, my! Do that again! More!”

And more she got. Katara was hot and she ran her hands up the body to his long black strands that stuck to his sweating face. She pushed back the bangs in his golden eyes.

“Oh, FU-UH-CK!”

“Zuko.” Katara whispered as a blush rose up her neck.

“Huh?” Suki blinked at her with confusion.

“We slept together.” Katara whispered. Then groaned as more very detailed memories came back to her from their drunken escapades after Mai’s and Ty Lee’s wedding. “We, fuck.” Katara closed her eyes but was only met with Zuko’s golden eyes practically glowing with desire. “We woke up the night after the wedding in bed together. We still had on clothing, so I thought... “Katara’s eyes popped back open to see Suki gaping down at her.

“Zuko?”

“Yeah.” Katara sat up and ran a hand through her hair.

“Our roommate, Zuko? Your brother’s best friend? That Zuko?” Suki asked leaning forward with each question. Katara nodded. “The Zuko that gave you your first kiss? Zuko, the one that froze our bras when we were 15? Zuko?”

“Yes!” Katara nodded and then covered her face. “Yes, yes, yes, yes. That Zuko. The one and only Zuko we know! It’s not like he is a Lee. We know a million of Lees.”

“Kat,” Suki put a hand on her shoulder. “You’re sure?”

“I can’t think of another male that I have been in a horizontal position within the past two months.” Katara let out the biggest sigh she had ever in her life. She put her hands back on her stomach. “What if he doesn’t want it?”

“Zuko?” Suki asked with skeptic look.

“How many times are you going to say his name like a question?”

Suki huffed and crossed her arms, “I’m pretty sure Zuko will-,”

“Let’s not tell him.” Katara interrupted.

“be ecstatic.” Suki’s arms dropped, “What do you mean ‘Not tell him’?”

“I’m not going to tell him and since you are the only other person-,”

“You should definitely tell him.”

“That knows. You will not tell him either.” Katara pointed at Suki. “Got it?”

“Like ever?” Suki tilted her head and looked down at Katara’s abdomen, “You know that when the kid comes, he’ll probably know.”

“What? How?”

“Genetics.” Suki stated plainly.

“Right,” Katara stood back up again and paced to the other side of her room. “Then we won’t tell him or anyone until absolutely necessary. No one can know. Okay? Deal?”

“Katara…”

“Deal?” Katara walked back to her with her pinky finger out.

Suki sighed and held out her pinky. She yanked it back right before Katara curled it around hers. “But just so it’s on the record. I think you should tell him.” Katara rolled her eyes and hooked her pinky around Suki’s.

+++

Five months later, Katara rubbed her stomach as she munched on another small bag of pretzels. She watched as Sokka and Suki pulled out outfit after outfit from the rack. Katara had only shaken her head to pretty much every single garment. She wondered how long it would take them to realize she was doing it on purpose.

Zuko walked up to her shaking his head as he passed her a white grape juice water, “You know you’re just going to reap what you are sowing when they have a kid?”

Katara gave a soft laugh as she wiped off her fingers on her top. “I don’t know what you mean, ZuZu.”

Zuko just chuckled and passed her the opened water bottle. “Have you decided which bedding set?” Zuko picked up a package with little yellow ducks. “I heard you have to buy a whole bunch of them and put them down like all on at once. So, when Baby Peanut has an explosion in the middle of the night, you just have to take off one layer and not redo the whole bed.”

“I’m still upset that caught on,” Katara mumbled into her water bottle.

Zuko gave a smile, “Ducks or Turtles?” He held up two packages of bedding.

Katara looked them both over, “Both?”

Zuko nodded and placed them both in the buggy. “Both is good.” He pushed the cart down the next aisle. But Katara hadn’t moved.

She pressed her hand again to where she thought she felt something. Alarm bells went off in her head and she looked around. “Zuko?” Was something wrong with the baby?

Zuko was back to her in a blink hearing the shake in her voice, “What’s wrong?” Zuko looked down to where Katara was pressing a hand to her stomach. “Is something wrong with the baby?”

“I-I don’t know.” Katara smoothed her hand over the spot again. And felt the little push again. “Oh my God!” Katara pulled her hand away with a gasp. “Oh, my God!” She put her hand back over where she felt the kick or punch or whatever the baby was doing. “She kicked! She!”

Katara grabbed Zuko’s hand and placed it on her stomach. The baby gave two swift kicks to Zuko’s hand. “Woah!” Zuko pulled his hand back and then broke out into a smile. He put his hand back. His fingers were overlapping Katara’s as he felt the baby move. “She’s moving.”

“I know.” Katara laughed and looked up to Zuko. His golden eyes were so wide with surprise but also looked happy.

Katara hoped Baby Peanut would come out just like her dad. Happy.

+++

It wasn’t until they were cleaning up the baby shower two months later that Zuko asked.

“So, did the father come today?”

Katara paused while shoving a forkful of cake in her mouth. She bit down only if to have her mouthful, so she didn’t have to reply immediately. Zuko took down another row of lights as he waited. He glanced over at her often. Katara licked the fork clean, still trying to decide if she should lie or not. “Uh, yeah. Why?”

“Oh,” Katara watched his shoulders drop a little. But then come back up as he reached for another set of lights. He turned his back to her, “No reason. Just wanted to know if the father would be around a lot and if we are going to get along with him okay. Is he going to be around a lot?”

Katara swallowed and took another bite of cake as Zuko looked over his shoulder at her. Katara held up her finger as she slowly chewed. She looked down at her plate that only had maybe two other bites.

“Bye, Katara! I’m really happy for you.” Joo Dee came over and gave her a short hug. “I can’t wait to see the little one. Bring her in as soon as you can. I know the whole office will be so excited.”

Katara nodded and finished her bite. “I will. Thank you for coming.”

Joo Dee patted her head before leaving. Zuko cleared his throat, as if to remind Katara that he was still here and still waiting for an answer.

“I’m,” Katara licked her lips. “I’m not sure.” She whispered.

“Oh,” Zuko said again and began rolling up the lights.

Katara hissed and placed a hand over where the baby was pushing hard against her side. She winced and moved to be a little more comfortable. Zuko was to her in a few seconds, worry clear on his face. “I’m okay.” Katara pushed Zuko’s hands away that had reached for her side. “I’m fine. She’s just squishing my everything.”

Zuko sat back on his heels. Katara tried to ignore the small flash of hurt in his eyes. He schooled his face and then rose, picking up the string of lights he had dropped. Zuko and her were quiet for some time. Katara finished off the cake and watched Zuko climb up and down the small step ladder as he took down lights.

“Are you still free tomorrow and maybe Monday night to help me take back all the double gifts?” Katara asked to break the uncomfortable silence.

“Sure, if you need me.” Zuko shrugged as he rolled up the last string of lights. The streetlights and some small outside lights still lit Azula’s backyard enough that Katara could see Zuko’s facial expressions. It looked a little agitated, but his emotions were blocked off.

That was one thing she was hoping the baby didn’t inherit. Her father’s skill of turning off emotions. Even after all these years, he could wrap up his emotions with practically a flip of a switch.

“I mean, you don’t have to go.” Katara crossed her arms.

“Why don’t you ask the father to go? Huh?” Zuko turned around to her, dropping the string of lights in a box.

“What is up with you and asking about the father all of the sudden?” Katara tried to stand up swiftly but realized it’s a lot harder being eight months pregnant. Zuko moved to help her and once she was on her feet she slapped at his hands. “Stop. I’m fine. Thank you.” Zuko backed up with his hands raised in surrender. “I just know we had already talked about going back to get that changing table I actually wanted.”

“Yeah, we can do that.” Zuko shoved his hands into his pockets. “Just figured maybe during this last month, you might want to spend some more time with the father. Since this whole time, you’ve really only spent it with us.”

Guilt filled Katara’s stomach, she rubbed her hand over the swell right below her boobs. “I think he would be fine with us returning stuff.” She paused her hand over where the baby’s toes were pushing against her ribs. “I think we can do all that boring stuff.”

Zuko sighed and turned to pick up the box of lights. “If the father is around as much now as he is around when this baby is born. The baby will end up calling me dad. And wouldn’t that be awkward.”

You have no idea. Katara patted her belly with a laugh and walked (more like waddled) behind Zuko back into the house.

+++

It was one week before her due date that The Secret spilled.

“Me?!” Zuko yelled as he and Katara stood toe to toe in the nearly finished nursery. Zuko was holding a piece of the new changing table.

“Yes, you.” Katara had her arms crossed over her chest. “Who else?”

“Oh, I don’t know.” Zuko crossed his arms over his chest. “It could have been anyone at this point!”

Katara huffed and unfolded the directions. “But it definitely has to be you.”

Suki popped her head in after just arriving home from work. “Hey guys!”

Katara gave a smile and then rolled her eyes.

“I just don’t see how it’s possible, I’m the only guy-.”

“Oh, you told him!” Suki burst further into the room. She hugged Katara from the side and gave a little squeal. “I’m so happy you finally told! I thought for sure I was going to tell! You know back when you finally told everyone about the pregnancy, I was sure you were going to tell him then. But then I remembered you really didn’t want him to find out. So, two weeks ago at the baby shower. I thought ‘Oh, wouldn’t it be cute if she told him- ‘,”

It took Katara’s fogged up pregnancy brain too long to shove a hand over Suki’s mouth. “Yes, I told Zuko that he had to help me finish the baby room. He is the only one I know that could put this together.” Katara hissed through her teeth.

Zuko looked between the two girls. As Suki blinked a few times and pulled back. “So, you still didn’t tell him?” She almost looked sad.

“Yes, I did tell him.” Katara glared at her best friend. “That I needed his help with building the changing table.”

“Right,” Suki gave finger guns with a slightly guilty face. “Wow, awkward. I’m going to go cook dinner. I’m thinking something spicy. What do you think, Kat?” Suki started making her way to the door. “Pad Thai? Enchiladas? Oh, ramen?” Suki closed the door without an answer. A few seconds later. Katara and Zuko heard the front door close too.

“What was she talking about?”

“Nothing,” Katara looked back down at the instructions. “I swear sometimes I think it’s her that has the pregnancy brain.” She gave a short laugh. “Now we should probably sort-, Hey!”

Zuko took the instructions from Katara. “What was she talking about, Katara?”

Katara ran her hands over her belly. “I think my water broke?”

Zuko gave her an unimpressed look, “You’re not going to ‘Office’ your way out of this. What was she talking about? She seemed way too happy that I was putting together a dumb changing table.”

“You know how us girls are, we get excited about anything baby.” Katara gave a small smile and tried to shrug of the conversation.

Zuko only shook his head, “Look, I’m happy to help. But I want to know what she was talking about. You didn’t even know what color the room was going to be until you were what six months along? So, how would you know to tell me to build this changing table back when you first told us you were pregnant?”

Katara just stood there running her hands over her pregnant belly. Baby Peanut moved around slightly and Katara could feel the little hiccups. Katara looked around the room. There wasn’t really an escape. “She wasn’t talking about just the changing table she was also talking abo-.”

Zuko sighed and sat down the pieces of the changing table and the instructions. “Okay.” He looked Katara over and then began to walk out. “I’m going to go find Suki. I think enchiladas would be better than Pad Thai.”

“Zuko, wait.” Katara reached out for him as he reached the door to the baby room.

“Why? So, you can stand there and lie to me some more?” Zuko opened the door to the living room. “Because I don’t want to do that.”

Katara followed him, “Zuko…”

“No, Katara.” Zuko looked around for his keys and wallet. “I feel like all you’ve done this whole time is lie.”

“I haven’t lied about a single thing!” Katara crossed her arms over her chest in defense.

Zuko scoffed, “Right. Then what was Suki really talking about?” Katara’s arms dropped and her mouth opened but closed again. “Exactly. Do you want two chicken or do you want a spinach one this-.”

“You’re the father.”

“What?”

“I said I wanted two chicken enchiladas and a cup of spicy ramen?” Katara bit her lip.

“No, you didn’t.” Zuko shook his head at her. “You said, I’m- ha. I’m the-.”

“Father, yeah.” The smile she was holding back cracked when Zuko’s bloomed on his face. “That’s what Suki- Mmph!”

Zuko’s lips were on hers. The kiss was surprisingly soft and Zuko wrapped his arms around Katara. When Zuko pulled back, Katara’s lips chased after his. She reached up and pulled his face back down to hers. They stood there kissing for a few moments until Peanut decided to start kicking. Zuko stepped back with the largest smile on his face.

“I’m going to be a dad.” Katara nodded with a big smile too. Zuko’s hands ran over Katara’s belly. “I’m going to be a-. We’re going to be parents. Holy Shi-zues and pekingeses.”

“Nice save.” Katara laughed and placed her hand over Zuko’s. Zuko took her hand and kissed it.

“Agni, I wish you would have told me sooner.” Zuko ran his thumb over her knuckles before kissing them again.

“Why?” Katara gave a small laugh.

“I don’t know. Maybe so I could have enjoyed this pregnancy longer. Instead of being jealous of some stupid jerk that hadn’t been there for any of the important parts.” Zuko shrugged. “Wait.” Katara hummed. “How do you know that stupid jerk is me?”

“You remember the night of Mai’s and Ty Lee’s wedding? When we got super drunk and we woke up the next morning in bed together?”

Zuko vaguely remembers having to grab his boxers from across the room after Katara had crawled out of bed. “And so, you’re sure…”

“Yes, I haven’t been in bed with a male since way before that.” Katara gave a small laugh. “Plus, I kind of remember bits of that night. It was pretty hot. It got me through my horny months.”

“Oh?” Zuko wiggled his eyebrows. Katara gave his arm a little smack. Only for Zuko to gather Katara up in his arms again. “I’m going to be a dad.”

Katara wrapped her arms the best she could around Zuko. “Yeah, you oh-,” Katara clutched at Zuko’s shirt. Katara felt a gush of wetness run down her leg. “Uh, I got to go to the bathroom.”

“Oh,” Zuko stepped back and helped walk her to the bathroom.

“It’s okay. I just didn’t realize I had to go.” Katara patted Zuko’s arm and closed the door. Once she was finished, she joined Suki and Zuko on the couch. Suki had come back with boxes and boxes of take out containers. Her stomach gave a twinge and Katara hissed. She waved Suki and Zuko to continue their conversation.

“So, she finally told me.” Zuko said as he opened another container for Katara. “And I kissed her.”

“Ow!” Katara grabbed at her lower stomach. “Okay that hurt. Sorry. You were saying.” Katara moved to get comfortable again, but her back began to ache and her stomach cramped. She hissed and ran her hand over her stomach. “Sorry, go ahead.”

Suki and Zuko gave her a strange look, “You kissed her?” Suki asked after a second. She watched Katara take a bite of her noodles.

Zuko looked Katara over as she winced while eating, “Are you in labor?”

Suki’s eyes got wide and sat down her fork, “Oh my God she is in labor!”

“I’m what?” Katara groaned as a large wave of pain hit her. “No, remember I’ve had these before.” She patted Zuko on the arm. “I’m fine. What were we saying?”

“We were talking about how you told him, and he kissed you. What does that mean? Are you guys like togeth-,” Suki looked between Zuko and Katara.

“Okay. Ow!” Zuko pulled his arm away from where Katara’s nails had begun to dig in. “Why don’t we just take you down to the hospital?”

“Cause, I’m not in la-.” Katara moved again and felt the need to poop again. “I’m not in labor. I just need to go to the bathroom. Help me back up.” Zuko looked over to Suki before helping Katara up. Katara groaned in pain as she stood. “Maybe get some Tylenol too?”

Suki shook her head, “How about an epidural?”

Katara paused and looked over at her. “No, I’m fi-.” Katara whined. “Okay, maybe we should.”

+++

“Here she is,” The doctor laid the fresh pink baby over on Katara’s shoulder. Katara began bawling and Zuko kissed Katara’s forehead. He reached out for the little crying baby. He held onto Katara’s hand as she touched the baby’s foot. “Alright, we’re going to wash her off and check a few things and then we’ll do some skin to skin time. Okay?”

Katara bubbled out an ‘Okay’ and held onto Zuko’s hand harder. A nurse came by and began helping Katara clean up. They turned out some of the lights before handing the baby over to Katara.

“Oh, my Spirits she is so precious.” Katara whispered and ran her hand down her baby’s back. “And beautiful. Oh, my God. I want to keep her.”

Zuko chuckled and kissed Katara’s forehead again. “You do get to keep her, I promise.”

“Don’t make fun of me,” Katara said in between tears.

“I’m not, ‘Tara.” Zuko’s face didn’t fall from the large smile.

“Oh,” Katara whispered and kissed her baby’s head. “That little sigh. Zuko, I love her.”

Zuko rubbed Katara’s arm, “I love her, too.” Zuko sighed and after a moment continued, “I love both of you.”

“I love you too.” Katara leaned her head back and closed her eyes. Her eyelashes were still wet with tears. “Zuko?”

“Hmm?” He raised a hand to brush hairs from her face.

“I still don’t know her name.” Katara opened her eyes with a little pout. “I’ve just been calling her Peanut like the rest of you.”

Zuko did his best not to laugh, “You’ve got time.”

“But her birth record will show Baby Girl.” Katara pouted more. “I don’t want her to just be Baby Girl.”

“Then what do you want to name her?”

“I don’t know.” More tears started to well in Katara’s eyes.

“How about Peanut?” Zuko joked. But realized that this was not a joking matter as Katara’s blue eyes turned an icy glare at him. “Okay, not Peanut.” Zuko looked around for a minute. They hadn’t looked through any baby naming books. Zuko thought Katara already had one picked out. “What about Hope?”

“No, my godchild’s name is Hope.” Katara waved off the idea. “Next?”

“Uh, Patricia?” Zuko thought he remembered hearing that name somewhere…

“You want to name our baby after our birthing coach?” Katara raised an eyebrow at him.

“No,” Zuko shook his head. “Da-Shoot, this is harder than it looks.”

They were both quiet for a moment. Both working through a list of names. Katara sighed as Zuko’s fingers continued to run through her hair. The soft strokes made her want to dose off. But she knew someone would probably be in to collect their baby soon. Then she could sleep. Maybe she should make Zuko stay with her if only to have him continue running his fingers through her hair.

“What about Zara?” Zuko asked and Katara hummed.

She rolled the name around in her mind a few times, “Zara.” Like Zuko and Katara put together. “I like it.” Katara brushed a hand over the baby’s head, “Zara.”

+++

Two years later and Zuko is trying to take the curlers from Zara’s dark brown hair. “Katara! Hurry up or this flower girl won’t make it to the wedding!”

“Really?” Katara stepped from their room with a diaper bag and her hair still in curlers.

“What?” Zuko smiled up to her. “You know Suki will be mad if you show up late.”

“Oh, like her and Sokka did at ours?” Katara raised an eyebrow. “I believe you told me once ‘you reap what you sow.’? I think that they are doing just that.”

Zuko chuckled and stood up with Zara in his arms. He leaned over and kissed his wife on her freshly painted lip. “Love you.”

“Mhmm,” Katara took out Zara’s last curler. “Now, let’s go because you’re right. She really will be mad if we are late.”

#zutara #zutara fanfiction #unplanned pregnancy #mutual pining #thanks for the request #oh and they were roommates

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wonwoonlight · 3 years

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‘flower’ has me feeling…. a lot of things. i’m probably going way too tmi but, i think i need to get stuff off my chest, so i’m sorry it’s you who happens to get these deep thoughts of mine. but i’ll get to that eventually.

first, i absolutely adored this writing. it was well written, had my feelings all over the place. anytime wonwoo would look at oc or the little comment he made under his breathe, ugh, my heart would skip a beat. and i loved the supermarket part, with the playful banter of soonyoung and seungkwan, because i can definitely picture that happening! i would LOVE a continued piece, especially w/ shinji’s reaction. i just think it would be a great little laugh to have her stunned and everything seeing oc and wonwoo together. or even them visiting seungcheol and jeonghan? idk, just little ideas that would possibly continue the story a bit. even if you don’t, i really loved it, it was just wonderful to read <3

now, regarding my personal life, this story felt WAY to close to home. i felt like i was reading a book, a chapter of my life this past year and a half, to when i ended my 3.5 year relationship. when i think about it now, there are multiple reasons honestly as to why i did it. but i know a big factor was my insecurities as well. there were times where, like oc, i felt like i was boring for him. i wasn’t as excited to see him anymore because i felt like i was no longer exciting to be seen or spend time with. that and a few other personal things, but for the most part, i didn’t want to try anymore because, he wasnt trying anymore. and maybe this could have been avoided if i actually told him how i felt. and when i told him i wanted to end it, there were tears in both ends, but he didn’t fight me about it. he just, accepted it. two days later, he did try to talk.. but then, i didn’t want to try anymore, at all. i don’t know, but i just was done. but i still cried for weeks after that.

i truly believed i was going to marry him. but tbh, i felt like i did a lot more on my end of the relationship. i tried so much more, i was the one always going out of the way to fix and talk out our issues, to surprise him and push each other to go on adventures, the one with encouraging words when he wasn’t doing to well, going the extra mile for him. he did in the beginning and that’s why i fell so hard for him. i know i said if i had just voiced how i was feeling, it likely wouldn’t have ended, but at that point, i was tired and my insecurities grew so much more by the end of it. i was his first serious and long term relationship, and he was my first everything. first boy who truly confessed that they had a crush on me, first date, first boyfriend, first kiss. we started dating when we were both 18. and broke up when we were 21.

we kept each other on social media after it all. but i didn’t post the way i had used to. i kept my life extremely private after that, to avoid having him see anything related to me that would hurt him more than i had already did. maybe i should have just blocked him, but i didn’t have the heart to, because i felt like that was too mean, as if ripping his heart out wasn’t the worst pain he probably was already in. but eventually he unfollowed me and he forced my account to unfollow his. and it was for the best. he has a new gf now. he’s doing what he’s always wanted to do as his occupation. and honestly, i’m happy for him. i know this through mutual friends.

the reason i felt to write all this was because even to this day, i still think if it was the right decision. did i ruin my only chance at love? i don’t know and i won’t know until later on in life. do i regret it? no. he’s really shown how true colors after the break up and i don’t like it very much. and i’ve grown as a person this past 1.5 year. i’m better now than i was in my last half year of my relationship and half year after the break up. im happier and content being alone. i’m still extremely insecure, and i still question if someone will love me again, going back to if it was the right decision. i’ve had these insecurities since i was young. they aren’t foreign to me, just always at the back of my mind. but i’m trying to learn that i have all the time in the world to find someone who will go above and beyond for me. because i deserve that.

also, i think that maybe i should reach out , and finally close this chapter in my life. to meet up and explain everything to him… but i don’t think i can get myself to actually see him again. i’d much rather avoid him and just accept it. for a long time, i thought he hated me. but i know enough people have told me that he doesn’t. he never spoke badly about me after it all.. that he was okay with my decision and he just wanted me to be happy, even if it meant ending it. honestly, i don’t know if i’ll ever reach out, maybe if fate will have us meet up unexpectedly at a coffee shop. i’ll be working at the corner on my laptop and he’ll be walking in picking up a drink. and we just happen to make eye contact, and be free at that moment and we will talk it out and officially close that chapter of our lives and move on without any more regret of not explains why. (not my expectations being a whole fanfic lol). i definitely don’t want to rekindle that fire, reasoning like i said earlier. i just want to know that i didn’t ruin my only chance at happiness with someone. but that’s all in time.

i’m okay, really. i’m happier. and i know i will continue to grow and be even happier. ‘flower’ definitely made me feel like i was reading my life, was a crazy feeling!! i enjoyed ever sentence of it all. it truly was wonderful to read <33

ps. again, sorry i dumped this all on you.. pls don’t feel the need to respond, if you even read this far lol. it was A LOT and probably doesn’t make much sense ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

pss. he used to call me his flower.

hii, anon!! just to make sure, are you the same anon who just sent an ask about sending a long ask but you thought it didnt go through??? i surely hope you are because your message is very well received here!!!! and please dont feel sorry for coming here to talk ^^

first of all, thank you for sparing the time to come here and... pour your heart out. i know how hard it can be to do that, and sometimes it is easier to tell strangers about this things bc there's no judgement there, right?

just like what I said through OC, it warms my heart to know people take their time to read my stuff (a 10k long, at that), but it's like i'm the happiest person on earth when there are readers like you who told me you relate to this, that it comforts you in one way or another, to the point where you said you felt like you're reading a little chapter in your life.

if i'm being completely honest, this is also a scrap of my own story. Reading what you had to say, I can tell for sure that I was nowhere as serious as you were, but the first time i broke my first serious relationship off, it was very hard for me. I was very insecure, too, and I was too scared to confront him about things that didn't sit right with me. i poured a lot of myself here, consciously or not, and i hope you know that... you're not alone.

I might not have experienced it as hard as you did, or maybe I did, but it doesn't matter. What matters is I'm glad you're already getting better and you're still on your way there. I truly believe that some scars can't completely heal, but that's fine because one day you'll look back and think that you've learned from it and that's the most important thing.

it's okay to be sad at memories as long as you don't drown in it ^^

and I truly get what you're saying about closures. I understand that sometimes we think it might be good to talk things out and close that chapter for good, but sadly not all of us get the luxury of closures, yeah? whether you get to talk to him or not, I truly believe you'll be able close that chapter one way or another. this might sound very annoying, i believe, but the chapter will even close itself one day when you've accepted...whatever you haven't let go of. everyone has their own time, though <3 it's enough that you're making your way there already. truly, thank you for hanging in there and making it here today!! you must've worked very hard and i hope you know you must've been so strong to get here :D

alsooooo!! thank you for the ideas!!! i will definitely consider it bc i do have a soft spot for this couple in particular out of all my couples ehehe. you'll know it when it's up!

last but not least, please don't feel sorry for sending me this ask ^^ i just hope this story comforts you more than it does open an old wound, and pls know i'm always wishing you the best <3 don't hesitate to come back here again and talk if you want :D

#anon #my starlight❄#wow this was fun...#as in #i definitely just realized how much i truly enjoy talking to you guys #ww: flower #ask

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srhlsx · 5 years

Text

Rewritten & Reposted March 24, 2021

MASTER | Ch. 19 | CHAPTER 20 - END

You hadn’t been up to Sendai for quite some time, since you were in college visiting a few friends, so it was exciting to see the changes that had been made to the buildings and landscape. Your younger siblings had never been to these parts, so as you drove through the streets their faces were pressed against the glass of the windows. Yua more so than Eiji, being a teenager now he was less likely to show how much things that ‘weren’t cool’ excited him.

When you pulled into the parking lot, his eyes did start to get a little bit more life in them. The massive banner hanging from the roof of the Kamei Arena had blown up pictures of professional athletes in an array of action poses, one in particular catching the attention of everyone in your car. You bit your lip anxiously as you parked, pressing your head to the steering wheel and taking in a deep breath.

“You okay neechan?” You heard Yua ask from the back seat. She leaned forward between the two front seats and poked at your shoulder repeatedly. You glanced at her sideways and mumbled out a yes, which was enough of an answer for the nine year-old to return back to her seat.

“She’s nervous.” Eiji stated in a blunt tone. Your eyes widened considerably as you looked at your now sixteen year old brother.

“I am not nervous,” You snapped, although you could barely convince yourself of the fact with how your voice managed to crack at the end.

“Sure you are,” Your brother shrugged. “You spilled your tea like six times this morning and your hands haven't stopped fidgeting the entire ride up here.”

You turned to look away from your brother and faced the front of the car, watching as people piled out of their cars and started to file into the stadium. You pouted slightly, annoyed that your brother continued to be wiser than his years and wasn’t afraid to call you on it.

You hesitated before speaking again, bringing your hand up to your mouth and absently biting on your thumbnail. “What if it’s weird?” You mumbled into the silence of the car.

You felt like such a loser. Here you were, sitting in your car in a busy parking lot, nervous about seeing the guy you fell in love with in high school and complaining about it to your nine year-old and sixteen year-old siblings. Pathetic.

“You still talk to him though!” Your sister said.

“But they haven’t really been around each other in like, two years Yua,” Your brother said, turning around in his seat to face the back. “What she’s worried about is how she’s supposed to greet him.”

While things steadily got more serious between you and Bokuto over the years, when he made the decision to enter into the professional volleyball league, it took a damper on your relationship. You agreed, mutually, that things were going to be put on pause. You were still finishing up undergrad and applying for graduate school proper at the time, all that hard work you had put in over the years was not something you were going to throw away just to travel around the country with Bokuto and chase after uncertain victory.

It had been hard to end things. But as Bokuto made very clear, it was not goodbye but more like pausing a movie right before the big climax and just waiting until the next bag of popcorn was ready. You had cried, heavily, when he said that, but couldn’t help to also laugh at how he could spin things into something positive.

At this point, it’d been two years since you parted ways. Two years since you’d seen him in person. Two years since you’d felt his touch.

“Just say hi?” Yua said, like it was the most obvious thing in the world. As if you were going to go up to him, this professional athlete who was making a huge name for himself, and just say ‘hi’.

“Yes, chibi.” You nodded, jolting yourself to get going and finally unbuckling your seatbelt. “That’s a great idea, you smart girl.”

Glancing in the rearview mirror you could see Yua preen at the praise, ignoring or not noticing your slightly sarcastic tone as she gathered her stuff and also started to exit the car. As you all met in the front of the car to walk in together, your brother tugged on your jacket to pull you back a step. You looked at him, well up at him now, expectantly.

“It’s going to be fine,” He reassured you. “And if it’s not, then we can leave.”

You wanted to cry at the sentiment. Coming here was something your brother had been looking forward to since you’d gotten the tickets in the mail. He’d nearly swooned over the handwritten message that had come with them, the sender expressing their hope and excitement to see the three of you again. You knew that if he was offering to leave because you were uncomfortable, he meant it.

You grabbed your brother by the track jacket he was wearing, the gold and black detailing flashing in the bright sun, and pulled him close in an embarrassing (for him) show of affection. “You’re the best.” You mumbled as you ruffled his hair.

He immediately pushed you off and his hands went up to fix the wayward locks when he noticed a group of teenage girls giggling a few yards away. “Yeah, whatever.” He mumbled, doing his best to hold back a smile.

When the three of you entered the stadium and your tickets were scanned, the ticket worker motioned for someone looking like an usher to come forward. The older woman glanced at your tickets and told you to follow her. Confused, you asked if there was something wrong.

“No, dear!” She smiled at you as she continued to walk through the crowd. “These are just VIP tickets, I’ll escort you to the visitor’s VIP section. You must be very special!”

You blushed, having not even realized what kind of tickets you had been sent, which made you feel like an idiot. Yua began jumping up and down excitedly, while Eiji’s eyes became wider than saucers as you descended a set of stairs and ended up on the floor right next to the court.

It was perfect timing as the lights began to flicker and loud music began to pump through the speakers. The announcer directed all attention to the multiple jumbotron screens throughout the arena as the introductions for the home team, the Adlers, began. You happened to recognize a few of the names from your days in high school volleyball, and you suddenly got a little less anxious and a little more excited.

In the next moment you swore your heart stopped completely and the world was suddenly spinning a million miles a minute. The home team had completed their introductions, and like the shooting star you always remembered him being, another figure made a grand entrance.

He flipped and twirled, landing on his feet and yelling out his own name and number and smiling brightly towards the crowd. Everyone laughed, including you and your siblings, glad to see that time and fame hadn’t changed Bokuto in the slightest.

“(Y/n), I can’t see!” Yua complained, jumping up on the tips of her toes to try to see over the crowd standing near the barrier. “Eiji, take me closer!”

You pushed at your siblings, encouraging them to move through the sea of people to get a closer look before warmups were finished. You saw Eiji roll his eyes, but you knew he was secretly more excited than even Yua as he led her towards the front. You got a little jostled in the crowd and were separated from your siblings for a moment, but you weren’t worried since you were all going in the same direction.

“Hey, Bokuto-san, that kid over there has a Fukurodani jacket! So cool!” Bokuto’s ears perked up at the mention of his high school and looked around wildly until his eyes landed on where his red-headed teammate was pointing.

Bokuto didn’t bother to hear anything else, he was already moving across the court.

Two years may have made your siblings grow and change, but he would forever recognize them. Your little sister Yua, barely peeking her eyes over the top of the barrier still had crazy hair that he remembers you once saying she got from your mother. Your brother, Eiji, was not a young boy anymore but a growing teenager who was closing in on Bokuto in terms of height and size - impressive, kid can’t be older than sixteen now, Bokuto thought.

His smile grew even more when he had fully approached the two and saw that not only was your brother wearing a Fukurodani jacket, but it was a part of the familiar volleyball warmups Bokuto himself still had. Stitched into the front was your family’s name and a golden number four. Bokuto felt a sense of pride at the sight, “Good choice, Eiji.”

“Thank you, I had to earn it.” Your brother greeted Bokuto with a solid handshake and a modest smile.

“I’m sure you worked hard,” Bokuto said, then reaching down to say hello to Yua and ruffling her hair affectionately which made her smile grow wider than it seemed like her face could accommodate.

“Oh my - fuuuck, these people.” You huffed out as you finally broke through the bodies pushed together that had separated you from your siblings. You let out a heavy sigh and pushed your hair out of your face a bit dramatically. When you looked up at who your siblings had been talking to your spinning word suddenly halted altogether. “Oh my god.”

Bokuto looked as stunned as you felt, those same golden eyes widening to take up most of his face, eyebrows reaching up in surprise as he opened and closed his mouth a few times. Bokuto Koutaro, speechless, for the first time in his life. “H-Hey,” He finally said.

“Hi,” You said back immediately, clutching your bag to your chest in hopes that it would help your nerves to do something with your hands.

There was a pause, a flash of uncertainty that came across Bokuto’s face. If you hadn’t been staring at him so intently you might’ve missed it as it was so quickly replaced by so many other emotions. Relief. Excitement. Love.

“I’ve missed you, (y/n).” He said breathlessly, right before he reached his hands out and grabbed you by the face and pulled you forward. You didn’t resist at all as his lips came crashing down on yours, letting your bag fall to the floor as your grip shifted to clutching at the black jersey that stretched across his chest.

It all came back in that moment, like a montage or highlight reel. Daiki introducing you at that party six years ago. Late nights spent texting, facetiming, or studying together. Cheering each other on as you both continued through the ranks at the national tournament. His body pressed up against yours in those secret, intimate moments. Smiles and laughter as you walked the streets of Tokyo while skipping out on your free periods.

You heard a few of his teammates yelling from the other side of the court, probably confused as to why Bokuto was kissing a random girl from the crowd. As he pulled away, smiling, you pressed your forehead against his and let the weight of the past few years of missing him slowly fall from your shoulders.

“See, (y/n)?” Yua said, picking up your bag and handing it to you. “I told you ‘hi’ was fine!”

#bokuto koutaro #koutaro bokuto #bokuto x reader #haikyuu!!#haikyuu #haikyuu fanfiction #haikyuu!! x reader #hq!! x reader #hq!!#hq

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kavtari · 5 years

Text

Kav’s Innocent ... or Guilty

Asked someone to marry you? — “Innocent! Though ... wait. Maybe? I don’t really remember how that conversation went with Horizon.”

Kissed one of your friends? — “Guilty, but I don’t consider this a problem. Making out with friends is fun and not a bad thing.”

Danced on a table in a bar / tavern? — “Guilty. It’s kind of a part of one of my performances, so!”

Ever told a lie? — “Guilty, not often.”

Had feelings for someone you can’t have? — “Guilty. Both of them are in a monogamous relationship. I learned to keep my distance.”

Ever kissed someone of the same sex? — “Guilty but again there is no reason to feel guilty about this.”

Kissed a picture? — “Innocent.”

Slept until 5pm? — “Guilty-ish? Depends on when I go to sleep in the first place.”

Worked at a fast food chain / restaurant? — “Guilty. Multiple taverns. Again, kinda my gig.”

Stolen something? — “Guilty.”

Been fired from a job? — “Innocent.”

Done something you regret? — “Guilty but no use dwelling on it now.”

Laughed until something you were drinking came out of your nose? — “Innocent! I’ve come extremely close, though!”

Caught a snowflake on your tongue? — “Innocent. I hate snow.”

Sat on a roof top? — “Guilty many many times. It’s my favorite place besides the beach to watch a sunrise!”

Kissed someone you shouldn’t have? — “Guilty. I’m certain our friendship was broken because of it.”

Sang in the shower? — “Guilty.”

Been pushed into a body of water with all your clothes on? — “Guilty - super happy my comm wasn’t on me either of those times!”

Shaved your head? — “Innocent.”

Made a lover cry? — “Guilty-ish. His mind was in a state that he wanted to cry and throw a tantrum - he just waited for me to say something to force his tears out. I don’t speak to him much anymore.”

Shot a gun? — “Innocent. They are loud and I don’t like em.”

Still loved someone you shouldn’t? — “Innocent. I move on pretty quickly.”

Have / had a tattoo? — “Two, but I want another! That guy that did my glowing one in the club definitely needs to spend some more time on my skin!”

Liked someone, but will never tell who? — “Guilty.”

Been too honest? — “Guilty.”

Ruined a surprise? — “Innocent.”

Been told that you’re beautiful by someone who meant what they said? — “Guilty, but I don’t always believe it.”

Stalked someone? — “Innocent.”

Thoughts about murder? — “Guilty, once.”

How about mass murder? — “Innocent.”

Cheated on someone? — “Innocent; if I’m in a serious, committed relationship I’m going to talk with them about my sexual desires for others and gain that mutual understanding.”

Gotten so angry that you cried? — “Innocent."

Tried to stay away from someone for their own good? — “Innocent. They generally try to do that to me. It’s annoying.”

Thoughts about suicide? — “Guilty ... and I don’t want to discuss it now.”

Had a lover? — “Guilty many times over. You interested?”

Gotten totally drunk during a holiday? — “Guilty.”

Mentioned @elovir and @dylakend

Tagging:Anyone reading.

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ofravensandgenesis · 5 years

Text

OC Quiz

Tagged by @amistrio and @stvnningstrike !! Thank you for the tags in this fun ask game!! :D ♥ Tagging anyone who wants to be tagged, go forth and tell us about your lovely OCs!!!!

—————

Deputy Joshua Rook

————— Asked someone to marry you? - Innocent.

Kissed one of your friends? - Uhhhh, innocent...? What kind of kiss are we talking here, because if we mean cheek kisses or something like that then yeah, guilty, but if you mean a proper kiss on the mouth then pretty sure innocent. Well. So long as we’re counting people as friends that I’ve known longer than the lifespan of a mayfly.

Danced on a table in a bar or tavern? - Innocent.

Ever told a lie? - Guilty guilty guilty, it’s a marvel I have a single pair of pants left, rather than all of them burning up in one of Sharky’s bonfires.

Had feelings for someone whom you can’t have? - ...I mean, yes. It’s a crush, I’ll get over it. Guilty.

Ever kissed someone of the opposite sex? - Innocent ish if we mean strictly me being the one to initiate the kiss. Platonic affection kisses guilty, romantic or sexual kisses innocent. If we’re including being kissed by someone of the opposite sex, guilty then.

Ever kissed someone of the same sex? - Guilty on all counts.

Kissed a picture? - Does it count as guilty if I was five and it was for art time? It was an effort somewhere between painting and cleaning all the paint off my face. If no, innocent otherwise.

Slept in until 5pm? - Guilty and then some, I’ve slept at weird hours before for night work. [coughs.]

Fallen asleep at work or school? - ...guilty on rare occasion, I try not to though. Sleepwalking, you know how it is.

Held a snake? - Innocent which is unfortunate, snakes are cool animals man. I’ve only seen them in pet stores and in documentaries.

Been suspended from school? - Ehhhhhhhh, technically innocent as I was not actually suspended. I was threatened with suspension if I was found to be acting out again. So I made sure to not get found out.

Stolen something? - If I had a nickel for every item I’ve stolen, I’d have a small fortune. Guilty as hell.

Done something you regret? - Guilty again. We all have regrets, don’t we?

Caught a snowflake on your tongue? - ...innocent, I hadn’t thought to try this yet, why am I living this far up north where it gets freezing cold and snows if I’m not going to do these things. I’ll have to do that when winter next rolls around. If I can, anyway.

Laughed until liquid came out of your nose? - Innocent. That sounds uncomfortable.

Kissed in the rain? - Uh. Guilty? It was an out of the blue surprise and I wasn’t expecting it. Nice though.

Sat on a roof top? - Guilty. It’s nice up there.

Kissed someone you shouldn’t? - Innocent?? Who would count as “someone you shouldn’t kiss”? ...maybe guilty? There was that one time I gatecrashed a party to, uh, avoid a close encounter with the law, shall we say, as a teen. Was yanking my hoodie off to try to blend in and change my look when I ran right into this guy—real cute, real surprised, but that left no time for me to really hide though. So I panicked, pulled him out of the way, and sprang a surprise smooch on him. I apologized after the coast was clear, but he was...ahem, more than fine with it. Ended up sticking around to talk to him. Nice night, nice guy, honestly. Rory's his name. We still talk on the regular.

Sang in the shower? - Innocent. I think.

Been pushed into a pool with all your clothes on? - Do lakes count? Guilty if so. Blame Sharky and Pratt. Hurk helped.

Shaved your head? - Personally innocent, though others have given me a really close cut as a kid on occasion. Didn’t much care for it at all, then or now.

Slept naked? - Guilty. Sometimes summer got too damn hot and clothes were overkill because there was no air conditioning. Thankfully I make more than enough to afford AC now so I don’t melt into a puddle during a heat wave—or turn into an icicle up here in Montana during the winter.

Made a boyfriend/girlfriend cry? - Innocent. I’d need to have an S/O to run that risk first. Pretty sure if I ever do get one there’ll be fights eventually because I don’t think anyone can avoid fighting forever, can they?

Donated blood? - Innocent, it just never came around as a situation to consider before now.

Eaten alligator meat? - Guilty, it was a food bank donated can of the stuff. Tasted kind of like a cross between something gamey, chickeny, and fishy?? Not real keen on eating it again, but if there was nothing else to eat, probably would.

Eaten cheesecake? - Guilty. Tasty stuff, cheesecake.

Still loved someone you shouldn’t? - ................... [What an uncomfortable question. He doesn’t want to answer that.]

Have/had a tattoo? - Guilty on multiple counts.

Liked someone, but will never tell who? - Guilty, though Joey already knows, she has this ability where she can just stare into your soul and know your deepest darkest secrets— [He’s kidding, Joey’s just perceptive and he knows it. He likes to pretend that she doesn’t know though, helps with the denial.]

Been too honest? - ??? Uh...I...would...not think so? Innocent?

Ruined a surprise? - Guilty, both accidentally and intentionally.

Eaten so much that you can’t walk after? - Innocent. I have wolfed down my food on more than one occasion though, even though I know I shouldn’t. It happens sometimes, but still working on it.

Dressed in a man’s clothes? - Guilty, I generally wear men’s clothes.

Dressed in a woman’s clothes? - Innocent as far as I know, though many clothes are unisex and I’ve gotten clothes from thrift stores and other sources before so who knows? Hoodies are for everyone.

Joined a pageant? - ??? I don’t think so, unless school talent contests and costume contests count? Didn’t really do much for those either. So, innocent.

Still have communication with your ex? - Pfft, I’d need to have an ex first for that. Innocent. Rory isn’t an ex by virtue of the fact that we never dated.

Been told that you’re beautiful by someone who meant it? - Innocent.

Cheated on someone? - See above, have not had an actual serious relationship to speak of for this to happen. Nor have I been the, uh, third person so to speak, so innocent.

Gotten totally drunk and missed an exam? - Innocent. I don’t really get drunk outside of drinking with friends socially, and even then I would prefer to keep my personal intoxication levels low.

A total stranger treated you by paying your fare? - Innocent.

Got so angry that you cried? - Guilty. Life sucks sometimes.

Tried to stay away from someone for their own good? - ...does for our combined mutual good count? Guilty if so.

Thought about suicide? - ...Guilty in passing, once. Not deeply or seriously. [He’s too determined to try to live his life, honestly. Even if he’s kind of worked up into a mess with all of the cult business and the psychic bullshit he has to deal with.]

Thought about murder? - Guilty. Very guilty if dreams and visions of possible futures count.

Actually murdered someone? - Innocent. Hopefully it’ll stay that way regardless.

Thought about mass murder? - ...Guilty. Comes with the territory of dreaming about the Reaping and Collapse for years upon years from different perspectives. Would prefer not to think about that. [It’s unsettling to him.]

Actually committed a mass murder? - Innocent, and hopefully will very much stay that way.

Rode in a stranger’s vehicle? - Do taxis count, or public transportation? Guilty if so, innocent otherwise.

Stalked someone? - ...guilty but it was for a good cause on all occasions. Namely keeping a third party from tormenting and or murdering them and their family members or friends.

Had a girlfriend? - A serious girlfriend? Innocent. A girlfriend in kindergarten school for all of one recess and free play period? Guilty ish? Kindergarten was wild, man.

Had a boyfriend? - Innocent since I would say I haven’t actually had a serious relationship yet. I’ve had...flings?? It’s weird to call them that, we didn’t discuss what name fit it at the time or anything, just acknowledged that we were both on the same page of not looking for something involving commitment at the time from each other. Just...you know, being there with each other for a little while, before we parted ways. It wasn’t a good time to pursue a relationship for me, at the very least. Not sure when a good time would be, though. After all this? [Assuming there is an afterwards worth mentioning once the cult situation is...resolved, shall we say. He doesn’t know what will happen then. Terrifying, isn’t it. Almost as bad as knowing what could and would happen in what he considers the Bad Ending from his point of view.]

Gotten totally drunk during a holiday? - Innocent. Don’t much care for loss of control over myself, as stated earlier. Some drinking is fine in good company and a safe environment.

#ask game #Far Cry 5 #FC 5 #Far Cry 5 AU #FC 5 AU #Deputy Joshua Rook #OC Quiz #in-character responses #in a backstage interview kind of way #lbr he wouldn't talk this much about the shit he's done #unless he really trusted the other person #or there was a reason to open up #bc it's incriminating obviously #and he's supposed to be a sheriff deputy #a lawful sort and all that #he is trying to be more lawful for what it's worth #it was a rough start to life tho

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generalchelseamayhem · 5 years

Note

1-85

Since you’re asking all of them, you don’t mind if I copy the answers for ones I’ve answered previously?

Also, sorry the format is a bit broken. Good thing I did this from Word, though, because Tumblr just straight-up ate this ask last time I tried to answer it.

1. Are looks important in a relationship?

How do I explain this... if I like them well enough as a person to commit to a relationship with them, then odds are I think they’re really attractive no matter what. I like looking at their body because it’s THEIR body, not some kind of hypothetical ‘perfect’ supermodel body. Heavily related to how I think about intimacy in general.

2. Are relationships ever worth it?

Yes. Even if it may not always seem like it.

3. Are you a virgin?

No. I have in fact kissed a girl before.

4. Are you in a relationship?

No.

5. Are you in love?

Errr... not especially, no. I have crushes, but I reserve “in love” for somebody I’m actually seeing.

6. Are you single this year?

Yes. Probably for the rest of it too, but who knows... social isolation certianly isn’t helping of course.

7. Can you commit to one person?

Difficult, but I can do it. I find lots of different people various degrees of attractive, and if the one person can handle that without feeling jealous, it helps. Otherwise I have to suppress that part of myself.

8. Describe your crush

I have like five of them. To choose one at random:

She’s the only person I know who is as openly pervy as me on a regular basis, and she’s also friendly, kind, and pragmatic, and unfortunately, far too busy all the time to pay any attention to me. :P

9. Describe your perfect mate

I don’t have a perfect mate in mind, really. The best I can do is “someone who understands me better than anyone else, and somehow loves me anyway”.

10. Do you believe in love at first sight?

No. Love after a long time of shared experiences, emotional opening up, and mutual trust and understanding is where it’s at.

11. Do you ever want to get married?

Not sure if I do.

12. Do you forgive betrayal?

That depends on the betrayal I suppose. If it’s not so bad, of course I can. If it’s really bad, generally I cut most or all of my ties to them and move on with my life, hoping that they get better.

13. Do you get jealous easily?

I don’t get jealous easily at all. Sometimes I’ve been prompted to be jealous and responded with “No.”

14. Do you have a crush on anyone?

As I said, multiple people.

15. Do you have any piercings?

Nope.

16. Do you have any tattoos?

Also nope.

17. Do you like kissing in public?

I like kissing anywhere except in front of family members.

20. Do you shower every day?

Yes, except for when I’m having a really bad depressive episode. I don’t intentionally miss showering.

21. Do you think someone has feelings for you?

No, I don’t think so.

22. Do you think someone is thinking about you right now?

Probably not.

23. Do you think you can last in a relationship for 6 months and not cheat?

Of course. Cheating sucks and I would never do it. If I really catch the feelings that badly I’d rather just be honest about it and (presumably) break up with whoever I’m currently seeing.

24. Do you think you’ll be married in 5 years?

For a variety of reasons, no.

25. Do you want to be in a relationship this year?

No. Not a serious one, anyway.

26. Has anyone told you they don’t want to ever lose you?

Yes, they have. ☹

27. Has someone ever written a song or poem for you?

No, but honestly I’d be mortified by the very prospect anyway.

28. Have you ever been cheated on?

No.

29. Have you ever cheated on someone?

No, but I have participated in a mutual drifting-apart. Which could, at a stretch, be considered emotional cheating.

30. Have you ever considered plastic surgery? If so, what would you change about your body?

No, but a little less hair would be nice.

31. Have you ever cried over a guy/girl?

Yes.

32. Have you ever experienced unrequited love?

Unrequited crush, yes. Love, no.

33. Have you ever had sex with a man?

No.

34. Have you ever had sex with a woman?

Allegedly.

35. Have you ever kissed someone older than you?

Yes. And I do mean significantly older. Not just like, 1 year.

36. Have you ever liked one of your best friends?

It’s the only way to like someone, in my opinion. Your ideal romantic partner and your best friend should be the same person, or as near as it can get.

37. Have you ever liked someone who your friends hated?

Ummm… no. I’ve hated someone my friends liked, but they came around eventually after he did to them what he did to me. If you mean “like” in a romantic way, then no. My friends tend to have pretty good taste in other people.

38. Have you ever liked someone you didn’t expect to?

I think it’s fair to say yes, to the point where I have now come to expect (or at least prepare for) the unexpected.

39. Have you ever wanted someone you couldn’t have?

Boy have I ever.

40. Have you ever written a song or poem for someone?

I’ve written a sung poem about love for someone’s D&D campaign, but that’s as close as I’ve come.

41. Have you had sex so far this year?

Yes.

42. How long can you just kiss until your hands start to wander?

I will test this for you, For Science! but I would estimate at around the 20-30 second point.

43. How long was your longest relationship?

5 years, 3 months, 22-23 days, depending on how you count (started in the evening, finished in the morning).

44. How many boyfriends/girlfriends have you had?

None/One, in that order.

45. How many people did you kiss in 2011?

One. More on that later.

46. How many times did you have sex last year?

Honestly, I couldn’t tell you. I lost count.

47. How old are you?

26, turning 27 this year.

48. If the person you like says they like someone else, what would you say?

I would wish them well. As I said, the people I like aren’t interested in me, so the best I can hope for is that they be happy with someone else.

49. If you have a boyfriend/girlfriend, what is your favorite thing about him/her?

I don’t, but back when I did, it was her face whenever she saw something cute.

50. If your first true love knocked on your door with apology and presents, would you accept?

An apology for what? I’d accept the presents, but I’d insist that I was the one who needed to apologize.

51. Is there a boy/girl who you would do absolutely everything for?

There has been. Not anymore.

52. Is there anyone you’ve given up on? Why?

I mean, breaking up is a form of giving up, right? So that. I’ve also given up on friends who hurt my other friends, and who cannot help themselves beyond all doubt.

53. Is there someone mad because you’re dating/talking to the person you are?

Not applicable right now, but once someone at work had a thing for me and was absolutely heartbroken when I brought my then-girlfriend in to have lunch.

54. Is there someone you will never forget?

Many people.

55. Share a relationship story.

Don’t be afraid of doing things impulsively. Once my girlfriend was having an unequivocally bad day, so I was like “screw this”, told her to meet me at a different train station than the one she normally got off at, then I took her out for a walk around the suburb for the afternoon. It started pelting with characteristic Australian rain halfway through (for those who don’t know, Australian rain is typically violent, heavy, and happens in extremely brief bursts), which only increased the amount of fun we were having, and we ran through the rain to take shelter at an IKEA (which was my intended destination anyway), where we had IKEA meatballs for lunch. The only thing I regret is that I wasn’t that person more often.

56. State 8 facts about your body Hairy. Thin but like, not too bony. Horrible eyesight but I keep forgetting to put my glasses on. Feet get really hot at night, really cold in the morning. When I shave I look instantly 5-10 years younger. My favourite and most reliable muscles are in my legs. Angry eyebrows inherited from my dad. I have a set method for cracking so many of my own joints, it’s probably unhealthy. Including ones in my back.

57. Things you want to say to an ex

Honestly, just a normal good-friends kind of conversation. Like “How is your day going?” “How are you enjoying Picard so far?” “Have they made Season 2 of Doctor Stone yet?” “Here’s a meme I found about The Wheel of Time.” “Here’s five memes I found about the coronavirus.”

58. What are five ways to win your heart?

Be interested in me back.

Have sense of humour by which we can play off each other’s jokes (and in-jokes).

Introduce me to new things (especially food but not seafood).

Love animals (dogs, birds, fuzzy-looking ones, and most importantly, goofy-looking ones)

Hugs/cuddles.

59. What do you look like? (Post a picture!)

60. What is the biggest age difference between you and any of your partners?

Depending on the definition of a “partner”, it could be “nearly 2 years” or “more than 5 years”

61. What is the first thing you notice in someone?

Their hair.

62. What is the sexiest thing someone could ever do for/to you?

Powerplay where one of us is on top and the other one turns the tables halfway through.

63. What is your definition of “having sex”?

The current “no clothes on penis in vagina” definition of sex is too restrictive to actually see what’s going on, so let’s work on it.

1. There are genitals of two or more people involved.

2. Said genitals are interacting with each other, or with another person’s mouth and/or hands, in such a way that is theoretically designed to make orgasms happen (even if largely unsuccessful).

There are degrees of course, but the essential points are all there. Also makes a few important distinctions between things that might be considered sex and things which definitely aren’t. A handjob might be considered a very rough imitation of sex that doesn’t really count, but it is plainly a very intimate act, and it’s a lot closer to sex than masturbating by yourself.

64. What is your definition of cheating?

When someone is knowingly intimate with another person in a way that violates the agreed-upon boundaries of their established relationship. This extends to acts of varying degrees of intimacy depending on how strict the boundaries are. Hugging might be okay for example, but snuggling up with your arms around them on the sofa might not.

65. What is your favourite foreplay routine?

Eating out. This should have been renumbered question 69.

66. What is your favourite roleplay?

Dungeons and Dragons, wherein I have characters called Eve L. Schemer, Darf, and Hercules Pirate. Respectively, one whiny emo kid, one dwarf who’s too stupid to spell the word “dwarf”, and a weird but oddly functional Pirate/Detective fusion.

Okay, if you want a sexual answer to that question (do you really??), then here goes.

A scenario where one of us is conducting a job interview, and the other is a relatively fresh-faced interviewee who applied for anyone and anything that was taking resumes. Over the course of the interview it becomes clear that the job description being hired for almost entirely involves sex. You can guess how the rest of the interview proceeds.

67. What is your idea of the perfect date?

I prefer not to be specific with things like this, because expectations often get in the way of other things that make magical relationship moments, like pleasant surprises and anticipating something unexpected. Anything that goes on for a good length of time, has pleasantly flowing and cheerful conversation, jokes flowing freely, in-jokes being created, pleasant views…

68. What is your sexual orientation?

Straighty McStraightFace.

69. What turns you off?

Most other bodily fluids. I also never get intimate with someone who is either sick, or sad.

70. What turns you on?

Mind control, a certain amount of (light!) powerplay.

71. What was your kinkiest wet dream?

I tend to have very vanilla wet dreams, but there was one time where I found Jordan Peterson, looking worse for wear and living in the basement of a decrepit old building, but he taught me a powerful mind control technique that I immediately used to make someone I fancied give me a blowjob.

72. What words do you like to hear during sex?

Nothing in particular, but garbled monosyllabic words are nice. As a general rule, the more unintelligible it is, the more it means I’m doing a good job.

73. What’s something sweet you’d like someone to do for you?

Break the quarantine (when it’s finally over) by hosting a movie night or a board games night or something. Anything that gets me back in touch with my friends.

74. What’s the most superficial characteristic you look for?

The lips.

75. What’s the sweetest thing anyone’s ever done for you?

Hosted my only ever surprise birthday party, when I was 23.

76. What’s the sweetest thing you’ve ever done for someone?

Ermm… good question. I once got someone the landmark publication for their particular field of expertise, by the most renowned expert. I once donated several hundred dollars to someone’s overseas trip because their own father would not. I once made a document translating some very non-phonetic sounds in French into a format which a phonetic language speaker could understand.

77. What’s your opinion on age differences in relationships?

As long as neither is taking advantage of the other (especially intentionally, but also unintentionally), it’s fine and none of my business.

78. What’s your dirtiest secret?

79. When was the last time you felt jealous? Why?

I mean, I really, really don’t get jealous easily.

80. When was the last time you told someone you loved them?

February 19th, this year.

81. Who are five people you find attractive?

Oof, I did say I had like 5 crushes, didn’t I?

You don’t know most of them, so I’ll have to do it by description.

The most recent addition to our D&D party. The last person I’m actually friends with who hasn’t graduated from my uni and left it yet. The woman I had a failed fling with in 2018. The one you do know, quinzelade. And last but not least, my ex-girlfriend.

82. Who is the last person you hugged?

Going from the above five-people list, it was either my ex-girlfriend (we’re still good friends) or the most recent D&D addition. I can’t remember exactly when social isolation protocols kicked in and we stopped hugging.

83. Who was your first kiss with?

I’m going to be boring, but… it was a dare, at about 2:30 am. We both put up very unimpressive showings, I thought.

84. Why did your last relationship fail?

It’s a long and complicated story, but to boil it down to its essentials, we didn’t want the same things out of life, we weren’t moving through life at the same paces, and we ended up being quite bad influences on each other in a variety of ways. While it’s true that I still find her attractive, it’s also true that we’re actually much better around each other as friends.

85. Would you ever date someone off of the Internet?

Someone I met over the internet? Absolutely, though not before getting to know them as a person. I don’t think I’ll ever go in for those online dating/matchmaking apps, for example.

Someone where the experience of dating them is entirely online? I wouldn’t consider that dating, really. At most I would consider it flirting (or, god forbid, sexting), but to me “dating” only really applies when you’re actually in the same room together. You can’t cook someone a fabulous meal and email it to them.

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brightcopperpenny · 6 years

Photo

The end of 2018 means the end of my fourth year of Irish dance! Some highlights and memories from this year:

9th place in trad set at Oireachtas!!! I cracked the top 10! This was a very different competition compared to previous years, because we finally got an age split in the Western region. I was in the Under-40 category, and the level of competition was so high! Lots of people who hadn’t come to Oireachtas in the last few years, lots of people who used to dance as kids, lots of amazing dancing going on. And as always, lots of mutual support and friendship, because the Western region adults are so fabulous. I was just happy to recall, and to be top 10 was SUPER exciting! There were 4 of us from my school in our competition, and we placed 5th, 6th, 7th, and 9th. We were really happy.

I GOT A SOLO DRESS FINALLY!!!!! I love it with my whole heart. It’s exactly what I wanted, and it’s beautiful and flattering and I glued eighteen million rhinestones to it so I sparkle like a rainbow disco ball.

I FINALLY won Novice single jig! I almost cried when I saw the results, seriously. That just leaves hornpipe as my only Novice dance. I won it once this year, but there were only 4 people, and the other times I wasn’t even close. But part of the reason might be...

I switched to competing both slow hornpipe and treble jig starting in June. This was rather a scary leap to make, but I felt like they looked decent enough to compete, and I wanted to feel more challenged. I really love slow hardshoe and it’s fun to see the progress I’ve made with it.

I hurt my left calf over the summer-- the same place I tore it in 2015. It sucked, but I worked with an awesome physical therapist who showed me where I had serious muscle imbalances and how that was impacting my dancing, and helped me figure out how to activate other muscles when I dance so I’m not putting so much strain on my calves. It means a lot of work to retrain my muscle memory, but it’ll be worth it if it helps prevent injury. I pretty much had to skip all 3 fall feises other than teams, my novice dances, and the specials, and that sucked! I want to compete!!!

One practice in July, Rori asked us what we wanted to work on, and Bethany said “I want to do a birdie!” and I said “I want to do an axel!” pretty much completely out of the blue. Rori kind of blinked at us, but she put them into our reels and slip jigs so we could try them out. I LOVE AXELS SO MUCH. Because of my injury I didn’t compete soft shoe this fall, so I’m excited to debut the steps with axels added at our feis in February!

A bunch of the adult team members went to Ulta together to get a makeup lesson on how to do our team makeup this year. It was really fun and a bit silly and definitely pretty extra, but if you get the chance to have a former ballroom dancer named TylerRyan show you how to do fabulous dramatic eyes, take that chance!

We switched to a new 8-hand this year- we had done Trip to the Cottage for the past 3 years, since I first started dancing, and now we are doing the 8-hand reel. It was a fun challenge to learn it, and I got to keep my top gent spot. We got 2nd at Oireachtas (out of 3) which was exactly what we deserved, and more importantly we danced it the best we could and I had a really great time onstage. It made up for the 4-hand, where I got a cramp in my toe right as the music started, and we ended up 4th of 8. :(

Oireachtas as a whole was really fun. A lot of the other adults went wine tasting (it was in Portland), but Bethany and I basically lived in the convention center for 3 days and watched as much dancing as we possibly could. One of our U15s recalled for the first time after many years of competing, and it was so exciting to be there for her and support her as she danced her set.

Even with all the missed competitions, I had great solo results overall this year! I won a special for the first time (reel) and placed top 3 in 4 others, plus I had 5 Prizewinner first places!

And oh yeah, not related to Irish dance competitions, but a bunch of us from my school did a Doctor Who Irish dance entry for the San Diego Comic-Con Masquerade called Time Lord of the Dance and we won a bunch of awards and got a standing ovation. Best performance experience ever.

And now goals for 2019!

Learn a new trad set- after 4 years of competing St Pat’s, I think it’s time. Multiple people have told me I need to be dancing Garden of Daisies with my dress, so maybe? It’s a pretty one.

Become a full prizewinner! Moving Novice hornpipe up is going to be difficult since there’s such tough competition in that dance for some reason, but hopefully at our feis and the St Ambroses, we can get at least 5 people and I can actually perform hornpipe the way I know I can.

Place in the top 10 again in trad set at Oireachtas, or, if we get an adult championship and my teachers approve, I would like to compete in the championship.

Continue working on technique (turnout/cross/straight legs/pointy feet) and also work to keep my core and posterior chain engaged during dance, not leaving my calves to do all the work.

Work on flexibility, hopefully to include flexibility class at the circus center, with the end goal of improving my clicks.

Practice at home twice a week.

Get back to the gym for strength and cardio training at least twice a week, or find some videos I can do at home.

#irish dance

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clevernewdimension · 6 years

Text

Guardians (M)

Purge AU

1. Revenge - Kyungsoo | 2. Guardians - Sehun | 3. Coming soon |

Oh Sehun, the younger adoptive brother of Junmyeon, spends his Purge nights protecting the clinic they put on every year for innocent people. His past is dark, not wanting to remember it. Every year he wants to make people like that asshole pay.

And he does, all the while shuffling people who are hurt into their little clinic so his brother and the few people they trust can patch them up and give them a safe haven from the night. Sehun was the muscle, listening to her over the comms as she takes out threats before they can get close and tell him about people needing help. She’s always there, his best friend. He saved her when they were young, and they’ve been together ever since. She also helps protect the clinic, an excellent sharpshooter and quick witted.

Their night starts like any other, proving the meaning of their friends with benefits relationship before getting ready to stay up all night and save people. Then things go horribly wrong, and Sehun has to face someone he wishes died long ago to keep her alive. His nightmares back. Can Sehun face them to save her?

Genre: Action

Word count: 9.2K

A/N: Trigger warnings for sexual assault, rape, child abuse, pedophilia, non con/ dub con, death, blood, guns, knives. Seriously, if these trigger you, DO NOT READ.

Sehun lights a cigarette, blowing out the smoke as the news on the TV keeps talking. He rolls his eyes, sitting on the curb. He holds the bottle of beer in his hand, taking a sip of it as he waits. The news croons on about the Purge tonight, telling everyone to either keep in doors or, if they want, go out and exercise their rights. The freedom to act like a goddamned maniac once a year.

Wonderful.

Last year, Sehun did what he’s been doing since Mr. Kim took him in. Help with the family run clinic. Mr. Kim died, and Junmyeon, his adopted older brother, took control. He’s a doctor, so it makes sense. Sehun, on the other hand, spent his time in fight clubs and training in a little bit of martial arts. Their mutual friend, Kyungsoo, taught him how to shoot and how to use a knife. Trained him to be much like himself.

Except Sehun doesn’t have an off switch for his emotions. He feels them all the time. Constantly. Something, he thinks, that he picked up from Junmyeon. His step brother was the most caring man he knows. Because of this, he’s perfected the blank, emotionless face. Keeping things bottled up until he can let it out on some assholes trying to hurt innocent people wanting some help. So, tonight, he’ll be looking out for people who try to attack their one day only clinic. He wants to make sure everyone is safe from the sick fucks who love the Purge. If he didn’t have Junmyeon in his life, he could have became one of those people. Sehun doesn’t like to think about it, though.

If anything, Sehun should be glad he only has to deal with sick freaks only once a year anymore. Visions from the past in his mind, like they always were this time of year. That basement. The knife in his small hands as he carves the letters into skin. The feeling of that man over him, smiling as he cried and cried. His begging and pleading falling on deaf ears.

Sehun closes his eyes, pinching his own arm as he tried to focus on anything but that. “It’s been almost twenty years,” He mumbles to himself, opening his eyes and seeing the ashes from the cigarette fall. “Get over it,” He says to himself. Purge day causes him to smoke. Every other day he’s fine, but today, his nerves are shot to hell. A nervous tick that he couldn’t stop.

A car stops in front of him. He looks up, seeing Kyungsoo in the driver’s seat. Sehun drops his cigarette, standing and putting it out with his heel. He downs the rest of the beer, throwing it to the trash can that was close by before getting in the SUV.

He looks up, seeing Kyungsoo in the driver’s seat. His hair growing out again, as he puts the car into drive. The woman beside him smiles at Sehun, a small wave. Sehun smiles back, happy that she was fine. Last year she hired Kyungsoo to kill the people who took and killed her kid. Sehun thought she wouldn’t survive the night. Nice to be wrong, since she’s smart and very helpful.

“I take it the two of you will be on watch,” Kyungsoo asks, looking at the younger man through the rear view briefly.

Sehun’s mind goes to his best friend. Known each other for years. He nods, “Yeah. Of course. Where else would we be?”

“I’m still shocked she isn’t sick of you yet,” He says, shaking his head.

Sehun agrees. After all, while they both were involved with fighting and getting the shit kicked out of them, she managed to get herself mostly together. Sehun works as security for some rich fucks in town. A pair of friends who own a multi billion dollar company selling who knows what. Park Chanyeol and Kim Jongin. Countless times has Sehun had to save them. He always told them that, on Purge night, they have to find someone else. They respect that, thankfully, and choose to leave the country to avoid the day. They’ve sent him pictures of themselves in Paris. He would smile, happy knowing they are safe. They’re good people.

Unlike him, she did something more with her life. She managed to get a job where she can stay at home and provide tech services. She went to college and got a degree in the city two years after they met. Sehun stayed in the shadows and won fighting competitions.

Everyone they knew had a feeling about how they are with one another. When they weren’t practicing or playing video games, they were tangled up in one another, mouths drowning in each other’s moans. For ten years they’ve know each other. Sehun was seventeen when they met. She was average height, but back then she was small and scared. Weak.

Now, not so much. She was dangerous, in more ways than one. He smirks, thinking about their little habits and how they have built their lives around one another. After the first year, they started call one another names. Sehun was Bitch, and she was Cunt. She picked the names out while completely drunk off her ass one night and they just stuck. Sehun wouldn’t have called her that if she wasn’t fine with it, after all. She was a burning light in this place. A sun surrounded by people who were nothing. Black holes trying to end her wonderful and bright light. She deserve better. But he knows she won’t leave.

He can’t help but feel as if he is holding her back, in that regard. Because of that, he can’t let himself fall deeper for her. All he sees in his dreams is her smirk. Her black hair and her light blue eyes. They way she looks when she’s asleep, peaceful. Beautiful. He holds himself back. He tastes the forbidden fruit, but never bites it. Never truly has it. That’s all he needs, because he knows that there will come a time when she finally sees she’s worth so much more than this. And Sehun will stand there, waving bye and let her go because he knows that she is like a bird. Free, and shouldn’t be caged by anything, least of all by him.

It hurts, but he knows that it’s what she deserves.

He leans back into the seat, letting out a sigh as he closes his eyes, letting him have a few moments to peace before the night.

I walk down the hall, my ragged canvas shoes squeaking. The apartment building wasn’t bad, but not exactly the best neighborhood. Drug deals common in the alley beside it, a few gang members with a ‘safe house’ a floor below. I don’t know why Sehun insists on living here, but who am I to judge. Granted, he isn’t here often. It’s not unusual for me to wake up and see him beside me on my bed or, if he’s too tired, on the couch in my living room. I’ve offered him the spare room, so that we could be room mates, multiple times but he say no every time.

It’s not that I was scared of him living here. He can handle himself. After all, Kyungsoo taught him everything he knows. I just don’t think living there, alone, is good for him. He can try to hide it all he wants, but I know he has nightmares. Often. Sometimes he’s woken me up screaming. I had to shake him awake as he would gasp, breathing deeply like someone was trying to suffocate him.

He needed therapy, that much was certain. But he would never agree to it. I’ve brought it up, but he shot it down. So, instead, when he is next to me when he wakes, I try to distract him however I can from whatever it is that still haunts him. Most of the time we just talk. Very rarely is it with sex, but when it is, it’s not like the other times. After nightmares, he’s so... soft. Kind. Treating me more like the woman he loves than the woman he comes to for a quick fuck. and every time, I’m left wondering why it can’t be like that more often. Why can’t he show me those feelings and mean them.

I roll my eyes, shoving my thoughts out of my mind. My black hair loose, as I knock quickly on the door. Time is running out, and I don’t need these thoughts clouding my judgement tonight of all nights. The bag on my shoulder heavy, with the clothes I’ll wear tonight while we keep watch and the weapons I’ll use to defend the clinic. Hair ties around my wrist, ready to keep my hair out of my eyes. There was always this sense of unease I had today, before it starts.

This was usual. This is what happens every year today. A bit of fun first before getting serious and working to protect the clinic at night. Once the chime happens a second time, signaling the end of the Purge, a coma for the next day or two. The door opens, Sehun standing there. His shirt off, showing off his very toned and scared chest. Tattoos inked on his tan skin. A skull on his upper arm, and a dagger on his forearm, and a small rose on his right index finger. On his chest was tally marks. Each one for every Purge since he was eight, he told me. Never explained more than that, though I think it has something to do with the nightmares.

His hands pull me towards him, lips immediately on mine, all tongue. I close my eyes, trying to wall up my feelings and just take this at face value. Sex. Just sex. The best dicking I ever get (Not that I’d ever tell him that), but no romance, no love, just lust. He picks me up, kicking the door closed. His lips soft as his kiss was anything but.

This has been our relationship since we met. Ten years ago, Sehun saved me from some awful people and took me to his brother. We’ve been best friends ever since. I remember that day clearly. My then crush tricked me to go out with him that night. He brutally murdered his teacher, and I ran from him. He was covered in her blood, hands all over me as he tried to release the pent up rage even more. So I left him, running into the night completely defenseless. I was fifteen, alone and some disgusting asshole tried to rape me. Thankfully, Sehun got there before anything could happen. He looked so young then, even if he was two years older than me. God, how time has past.

His fingers dig into my thighs as I pull at his white hair, moaning in his mouth. My tongue meeting his with as much desperate need as he did, though I would never say it. My body lights with a fire every time he touches me, and it hurts, knowing it wasn’t the same for him.

I smirk against his lips, “Someone’s needy. Can’t get laid without me lately?” I pull my shirt off over my head, tossing it to the side. I wanted his skin on my skin now, I want that fire to come over me and turn me to ash. Overload my emotions now so that, when the time comes, I will be able to pull the trigger easily.

“Will you just shut up and let me fuck you,” He growls, biting into my shoulder. The pain made me groan, rolling my hips into his body. His voice like this always makes me wet. He doesn’t have to try to turn me on anymore. He doesn’t even know the effect he has on me, how strong it is. Seeing him like this is a blessing and a curse.

Oh Sehun is a handsome man, easy on the eyes. He’s tempting, like that piece of cake you know you shouldn’t have, but you take a bite anyways. Women all over town wanting to get a piece of him, but he never seeks them out. A lot of men, too. Seems like Sehun is attractive to people from all walks of life. There’s something thrilling knowing that, even if this relationship is purely sexual, he’s loyal in the sense he doesn’t fuck about with other people. It makes me proud, that it’s only me. I’m the only one who get’s his hands on me, his head between my thighs and his cock in me. They all try, but he only goes to me.

“Don’t like be bringing up your lack of game, huh,” I mumble, quickly biting into his shoulder, hearing him hiss in my ear. I make fun of him to keep myself from muttering my true feelings for him. It’s all a carefully placed defense mechanism.

“Like you’re any better,” He says, pushing me down onto his bed as he crawls over me. “You come to me to get dick constantly,” He mutters, grinding his hips to mine.

It’s true. He only goes to me, and I only go to him. I make up all the excuses, but the truth is, I don’t want anyone besides him. Besides, why would I want some dude who only care about his own pleasure that doesn’t know what the fuck a clit is? Pass.

The moan left me before I could stop it. He was hard already, like he’s been waiting all day for this too. “It’s because you’re easy, babe,” I say with a smile, reaching behind me and taking my bra off. He quickly pulls it away, tossing it to the side of his room. His eyes over my skin, his gaze hungry. I smirk at this, “Why work for it when I can just walk in and have your face between my legs in seconds?”

“You fucking cunt,” He mutters, teeth biting into the side of one of my breasts as he’s pulling down my sweats and panties down my legs quickly. This was our usual. Fast. Hard. Practically primal. And god did it feel so fucking good.

“Love you too, bitch,” I say, smiling as I lay back against his bed. If I say it sarcastically, he will never believe it if I just outright say it accidentally one day. Or, that’s the hope. I smile, watching him move down and feeling his tongue already licking my center. My hand in his hair, pulling it as he eats me like he’s starving. My heart racing, holding onto him as his fingers slip into me. “Fuck, Sehun,” I moan, arching my back. The feeling of everything he does to me seems magnified at all times.

“That’s the point, idiot,” He mutters quickly, before getting back to it.

That’s how our relationship is. We’re best friend who constantly mock one another while… well, fucking. The fucking part started a little after I turned seventeen. I don’t even know how it happened, all I know is that once it started, it never stopped. My thoughts pulled away from the past, feeling his fingers touch me in the best of ways. His tongue was merciless, licking and sucking at my clit while his fingers were moving in and out, making me lose myself in the feeling. He’s so in tune with my body I was already cumming around his fingers in a few minutes, groaning and moaning as he moves, licking his lips as he smirks, looking proud.

“If anyone is easy, it’s you,” He says with a smirk, “Look how quick I can make you cum, after all.”

His sweatpants were discarded as I move, getting on my knees. A hear him put on the condom, as I just arched my back, “Hurry, bitch, I won’t wait all day!”

“You’d never find someone else who can fuck you like I can, Cunt,” He growls, pushing into me without warning. I moan, my arms feeling weak as he pulls out and slams into me.

I smile, hearing the nickname he calls me. “Bitch, you ain’t special,” I moan, falling to my elbows. A hard thrust has me moaning unabashedly, my eyes rolling back with a smile.

“Hard to take you seriously when you keep moaning like that,” He growls, thrusting into me harder.

I ignore him, closing my eyes and clutching onto his blanket. This is how it was. A few jabs before we just lose ourselves in the feeling. I moaned loudly as he hit me just right, my body completely ignited from the sensation. I roll my eyes, hearing his neighbor bang on the wall. I smile, putting my hands on the headboard in order to push back so I stop sliding up the bed. I make no move to quiet myself, feeling Sehun’s hands grip my hips tightly, pulling me back forcefully as his hips slapped against me.

Banging on the wall happened again, a woman’s voice on the other side complaining.

“Get some dick of your own and shut up,” I yell, hearing Sehun laugh at that.

“If you weren’t, Uh,” He says, groaning momentarily, “Screaming like a slut, it would be fine!”

“Shut up and fuck, Bitch,” I moan out, arching my back just right.

Sehun moves quicker, knowing we have limited time. He groans, putting all his strength into fucking me into the mattress. It didn’t take long for Sehun to get me there again. I yell, nails digging into the headboard, the fire turning into an inferno. Soon it was too much, very sensitive as I was panting at the feeling. I couldn't stop the sounds if I wanted to, it felt too good. He groans, as I feel him still before he falls next to me.

I look over, seeing him breathing heavily. He looks amazing like this. For a moment, nothing is wrong. Everything is fine and he’s just a man who just had some mindless sex. Like, if only for a moment, his thoughts were put on pause. Sweat on his skin as he smiles, letting out a small laugh. I smile, feeling my heart clench.

Just like it always does.

Our relationship is purely friends with benefits. We are best friends, who fuck occasionally. Often. Problem is, I’ve had feelings for this bitch for ages. Thankfully I am able to keep it contained. After all, Sehun isn’t the type for relationships. Unless mostly sexual, that is. He doesn’t let himself get close to people. Romantic relationship is out of the question for sure. It doesn’t stop me from wanting it, though. Sometimes I think I should end this sexual side of our relationship, but I know I’m already too far gone for it to matter.

“Come on,” He says, “We have to shower and get ready.”

“Only if you let sit on your dick again after,” I say with a smirk, looking over at him and winking.

“You talk like that and then say you’re not obsessed with my dick,” He mutters, smirking before sitting up.

“Your dick is nice. Somehow you’ve been blessed with an amazing cock, but that’s not it. The rest of you is the problem,” I say, laughing as I see his face. “Come on. We need to get out there before the time starts. After all, I think your neighbor will actually kill us if we stay.”

We showered quickly, hands off one another as we are running out of time. We got dressed in our black clothes quickly. My hair in a braid as I get my rifle, making sure it’s ok. A knife in my boot and a pistol at my hip. A pair of goggles I stole to give me some thermal vision that I can turn off an on.

“Junmyeon put a portable heater up there for you,” Sehun says, pulling on his jacket. “Your little nest. The water tower has been turned into a little fort for you.”

I smile, “Nice to know. Gets cold up there every fucking year.”

He arms himself, multiple knives and hidden guns. He glances over, eyes worried as he buckles a gas mask to his side. A few years ago someone had some gas bomb that almost gave him lung problems. Now, he’s careful. “You don’t have to do this,” He says.

I roll my eyes. Every year this happens. “I know. But I owe that clinic my life. I owe you my life. So I’m going to protect both. Period.”

“Worth a shot,” He says, rolling his eyes.

“What is Kyungsoo and his boo doing this year,” I ask, looking up at Sehun.

“She’s helping Junmyeon. He’s doing whatever he usually does. Thankfully this time in this city. He’s a bit nervous after last year.”

I put on my gloves, before seeing Sehun hand me his AR. I take it, putting it over my shoulder as we walk down the hall. The motorcycle he owns was nice, as he holds the handles and I get on after him, helmets on. I clutch onto his leather jacket as we go, heading to the clinic.

The city was eerily empty. Sehun driving though open roads with no one there. I cling to him, holding on as I look at all the businesses that have boarded up their windows or have hired security for the night. I see a mother dragging her child in as they cried, trying to explain to them that it was for their own good. The streets were clean and soon, rivers of blood will be flowing. I close my eyes, trying not to think about what will be inevitable.

We got there, Junmyeon already there, taking inventory. He looks up, smiling. “Hey,” He says, placing his clipboard down on the table. “The walkie talkies are in the other room on the charger. Headsets there too. Figured you both have earned them after years of this.”

“Fucking finally,” I say with a grin, pushing Sehun’s AR into his chest before walking into the room. He just scoffs, following after me. I smile, my rifle over my shoulder as I take one, putting it in my pocket. The headset plugging an ear, the small mouthpiece hanging down like a mic a singer would wear. I put in on, nodding. “Channel three?”

“Like always,” Sehun says, putting his own. Junmyeon also had one on him at all times, though with no head set. He looks at me. “Be careful, watch the fire escape.”

“Sure,” I say with a nod, “You be careful, too. Don’t die on me, Bitch.”

“I don’t plan on it, Cunt,” He says with a smile. A quick hug, like normal. I let myself enjoy this. Enjoy these like it could be my last one, because you never know. It was far too short, though. We pulled away and we were off. I climb the stairs, getting to the roof with ease. The wind up here was not bad, gentle breeze, but it will effect all my shots. I climb the water tower, see a newly made door in it. Open it, seeing a wooden floor made. Large cut outs of every side so I can see the surrounding area. A chair so I can sit and watch, but with wheels so I can kick it away and get ready to fire when I need. A small, propane heater that I turn on with a smile.

I put my goggles on, looking around. A pair of earmuffs over, to protect my ears from the gun sounds. All I would be able to hear is muffled gunshots and Sehun in my ear. I see Sehun on the opposite roof, waving. “I see you,” I say, “This year no fucker is getting in.”

“Agreed,” He says, nodding.

The system is in place, and we hear the warning sirens. It’s begun.

Sehun stays there, taking a walk around the building every hour, just to see if someone is too close for comfort. I shoot anyone who looks like a threat. Seems like Kyungsoo and Sehun have installed the lights on every alley that leads close. Easier to see if they’re hurt or not.

I look carefully, watching as I see a few men about a mile away. If they get any closer, I’ll shoot, as I watch them stab into someone. “That sick gang is around,” I mutter.

“They always are,” Sehun replies. “Every time I kill one of them, they always die asking me about my girlfriend.” I hear him huff.

My heart clenches at that, trying to ignore it as I see people running for their lives a bit away.

“As if any of those asshole could hurt you. Your smarter and have a way better right hook.” I smile hearing that. It makes my heart flutter when he complements me, even if it’s something like that. “Be careful,” He says, “You know how they are, once your in their sights, they won’t rest.”

“They’ll get a bullet in the face before they reach me,” I mutter, smirking. I stop, seeing a man holding an ax chasing a girl. “Gesture street, little girl. If he doesn’t get her before he’s close enough, I’m shooting him. Take her to the clinic?”

“I will,” He says, as I see him out of his seat and quickly going down the fire escape.

I smirk, getting his head in my sight. The wind will move the bullet slightly to the left before the building can shield it. I adjust, taking a deep breath. I exhale, pulling the trigger with ease.

The loud crash of the shot was dull to me due to the ear muffs. Specifically designed for gun shooting. After all, I wanted my eardrums in tact, thank you very much. The gun kicking back as I told it with experience. I see the man on the ground, head a mess as the little girl turns, crying. Just then, Sehun picks her up, putting a hand over her mouth.

“Listen, you’re safe, I promise,” He mutters quietly, trying not to draw any attention to them. He kept the line open on his side so I could hear everything, just to be sure. “I’m going to take you to a doctor, ok? He’ll make sure you’re ok. After, we’ll find your parents.”

I see the figure nod. I switch the channel of my walkie talkie to the channel to talk to Junmyeon, “A little girl, five or six. A few cuts, but over all fine. Sehun is coming in with her.”

“Thank you,” He says, as I see another hurt person hobble into the door. Starting early, I suppose.

After dropping her off, Sehun does his check, an I have to shoot another two people. That was the night, for the most part. Same as always, save for last year. Sehun was busy, quickly moving, ignoring a small cut to his face that Junmyeon quickly put a band-aid over.

Hours pass, and I only have to shoot a few people. They’ve seem to caught on quickly at the deal. Sehun would be up and down all night, helping people get to the clinic safely as I kept a close watch on it all. I stretch, watching him go down and check an alley close by. I see him, crouching, looking down the walk away, “I can’t see there, so you’re on your own, Bitch.”

No reply.

That nagging feeling gets me. Like something is wrong. I frown, seeing him clearly. “Bitch, answer me, you fuck. Give me a hand sign if you can hear me.” He just looks at the alley. No hand sign at all. I pull up the goggles, just barely seeing the headset on him. I reach for mine, freezing. The wire for the headset was cut. The walkie talkie on the small table behind me gone.

It was then I see the man behind me, a knife in his hands as he just smiled.

I turn, holding my rifle that he swats away, making it fall out of the window. I reach of my pistol, feeling it gone as he just smiles. His hair was brown, eyes matching as he just grins. A scar on his face, over his eye. The left one didn’t move, which meant it was a glass one or something.

“It’s funny,” He mutters, “Seeing little Sehun now. He’s all grown up. Armed to the teeth and too careful to sneak up on. But, you are easy prey. Just had wait for the right moment.”

“What do you want,” I say, glaring as I see blood dripping from his hand as he had the knife stabbed into his thumb as he spun it in his hand.

“My little Sehun has been bad,” He says with a growl. “So I have to punish him. What better way to punish him than to kill the one he cares about most?”

I act quickly, kicking him at the chest, the door behind him almost opens, making him have to grab onto the sides to keep himself from falling. I move, getting out of the windows and jumping down. I let out a cry of pain, feeling my ankle hurt. I ignore it, moving towards the door into the clinic. I grab it, feeling it locked as I look, seeing the man quickly moving towards me, knife still in hand.

The fire escape is my only chance. I move quick, going down and down. I look up, still moving when I’m half way and see him staring down too. I move, faster, getting to the end. My heart pumping as I go down the ladder, My jacket caught on it, I rip it off quickly, leaving it forgotten. I jump the last bit, landing on the ground. My ankle on fire from the pain. I go to move, running down the street. I know roughly where Sehun is, I just have to get there. My breath coming out in little clouds, my body not even noticing the cold. I feel around, the knife missing too as I curse, throwing the earpiece off along with the mic. He was catching up as I turn the corner, seeing a huge van blocking this alley. I curse, turning and seeing him behind me.

“This has been the most fun I’ve had in a long time,” He mutters, reaching. He was faster than I expected, but I kick at his knee, hearing him hiss in pain. Before I could run, I feel something pierce my arm. Another on my back though the shirt, his hand there holding something.

Pain. My muscles locking up as I fell. He smiles holding the taser. I feel tears come to my eyes as he smiles. Quickly, he places a handcuff around one of my wrists, as I fight back. He squeezed the trigger again, making me lock up once more as he does the other hand. Once it stopped, I scream out, my throat on fire, “SEHUN!” He glares fist connecting with my face, making me dazed as he gets a roll of duct tape from his pocket, a long piece. I scream out Sehun’s name again, before the tape was placed over my mouth.

He picks me up, holding me easily. He laughs, “He’ll come looking for you. I left him a little note of where to meet us in a little bit. But first, I have to prepare you.”

A quick hit to the temple makes me lose consciousness.

Sehun crouches looking down the alley. He rolls his eyes, seeing just two people going at it next to a dumpster. “At least have some class,” He mutters, rolling his eyes. It’s disgusting, thinking about that. If it was him, he’d at least find a place that didn’t smell like rotting food and piss. “If I ever get desperate enough to try to fuck you next to a dumpster, shoot me,” Sehun whispers over the line, rolling his eyes at the couple.

No reply. She could be talking with Junmyeon, though. It happens sometimes. She’ll get too focused, eyes glued to her surroundings. The only thing that will break her out of it is when she tells him about someone or if she shoots. times like this, Sehun has said things to her that he’s always wanted to. A way to get it out without her knowing. Helps him not to explode over it.

He reaches, getting a cigarette then heart stops, hearing the echoing scream of his name. His blood goes cold, his eyes wide in fear as he moves, letting the cigarette drop from his lips instantly. He moves, sprinting, trying to pinpoint the place he heard the voice. “Cunt, do you hear me,” He asks over the walkie talkie. The feeling of dread coming over him, “Y/N, this isn’t funny!” He knows that if he said her name, she would answer. That is the only think that breaks her out of her trance. He only uses it if it was serious.

But she didn’t.

He changes the channel, “Jun, something’s happened to Y/N,” He says, trying to calm his heart. “Stay inside, call Kyungsoo. His job is probably over by now, he’ll have to take over.”

“Sehun,” His brother says, “Be careful!”

He passes by an alley, and a glimmer from the side catches his eye. A man swinging an ax directly at his face. He ducks, glaring at the man before dodging the next swing, taking the ax from him and embedding it deep in his skull. The man’s eyes fade instantly, the blood pouring as he lets him drop. He runs, hearing another scream of his name. He turns, changing direction. The alley behind the clinic.

A van blocking the way. He moves, getting on his stomach and crawling. He sees nothing. He sees no one. His eyes catch the headset on the ground, the cord connected to nothing. Sehun turns, looking at the fire escape and sees her jacket hanging from it. He quickly goes up, glancing and seeing the door of the water tower open, her rifle on the other side, lying still. He moves quickly, getting up there.

His eyes loo around, seeing drops of blood on the ground. Her walkie talkie to the side, cord to the head set cut. Her pistol and knife on the ground, kicked under and hidden from sight of where she would be seated. He glances at the rest of the table top that surrounds the entire little room. He freezes, seeing it.

All his life, he’s hated a specific flower. His eyes going wide with rage seeing it lying there, a piece of paper next to it and a Polaroid. He looks at the picture, seeing a younger him. Lying on his stomach, naked with his hands behind his back. The date on it. He was seven then. The memory flashes to his mind before he can stop it. Tears falling down his face in silent cries as the man was pulling on his pants. The shame he felt, being used like that. The man stopped, hand over his butt before placing a flower by his face. “These always remind me of you, Sehun,” He says softly, as if he didn’t just acct like a savage animal to him. “They look like your little pout, so pretty.”

Sehun’s hand rips the pink tulip, petals falling to the floor of the water tower as tears spill down his face. The anger and rage he felt was building as he looks at the paper.

‘The old church. We’ll be waiting.’

He moves going to the roof door. It was locked, and Sehun just kicks it open, hearing the wood crack as he does so. The picture in his hand as he walks down the stairs, a few people moving out of his way, afraid. Junmyeon was there, so was Kyungsoo. They both looked over, seeing Sehun.

Junmyeon’s eyes are wide, looking at his younger brother. Sehun just hands him the picture, “He has her.”

He told Junmyeon. The only person he’s ever told the full and total truth to. He watches the doctor’s eyes go wide, looking at the picture with anger. The eldest looks up, “Go get her. Don’t let him torment you anymore.” He moves, throwing the picture into the fire close by, letting it melt. Sehun wishes it was that easy to get rid of memories too.

Kyungsoo looks over, “I’ll go too.” He doesn’t know what’s going on, but he knows it’s bad. One look at Sehun like this can tell him that much. He’s never seen Sehun this freaked out about anything before.

“No,” Sehun says, “Someone has to watch the clinic. Besides us, I only trust you.” He looks at Kyungsoo, eyes pleading.

The man nods, “If you need me-”

“I’ll make sure to let you know,” He says, before moving to his helmet.

When I woke up, I was tied. I feel myself being hoisted up so I wasn’t lying down. Something around my neck. A slap to the face makes me gasp, looking as seeing the man in front of me. He looks older than before. Crows feet and graying hair. He lets me go, giving me a sight of where I was. On the stage of an abandoned church. My wrists chained out by my side. A rope around my neck, which the end was in his hand. He smiles, “Good morning,” He mutters, hand moving down my chest. I felt his fingertips on my bare skin. Making me look down.

My shirt cut open, bra as well. He smiles at me, “Shame you’re not more flat chested. I could have pretended you are what I like. Gotten started early.”

“You disgusting fuck,” I growl, glaring at him.

He smiles, taking his knife as cutting a line from close to the nose to my jaw. “He’ll be here soon. I think he’ll finally come back to me if it means to save you.”

I glare at him, “What the fuck are you talking about?”

“Oh, he didn’t tell you,” He asks, smirking. The church was dusty, old and falling apart. The chandelier fallen though the floor, some of the pews falling in the hole as well. Around us were candles, and hundreds of pink tulips scattered around. “Sehun and I had quite the passionate relationship a while back.”

“I’ve known him for ten years,” I say, rolling my eyes, “He’s never said anything about you.” I shake my head. He’ll, we’ve been fucking for eight of those ten, and, as far as I know, he’s never had sex with anyone else.

“He was so scared then. So small. He grew into a fine man,” He says, ignoring me, losing himself for a moment in the past. ��So strong and sure of himself now. Back then he was scared. Timid. Shy. His little hand would cling to whatever it could when he was terrified.”

I feel my eyes widen. That’s why he never spoke about it. My stomach felt awful, the need to vomit coming up. The man slaps tape to my mouth, hand hitting my face and sending it to the other direction from the force.

“Why you,” He asls, glaring a little, like he was confused. “I gave him everything. I gave him love, passion... and he left me.” The man glares at me with his one good eye. “He stabbed my eye and ran like it meant nothing.”

He looks at me, hand rubbing the cut on my face, making it sting. “To think that now, all his passion is aimed at you.” He scoffs, “You don’t deserve it, you heartless whore. You’ll use him and lose him. It would have been only a matter of time before you broke his heart.”

I try to say something to him, tell him how disgusting he was, but he just looks. He smiles, “I can’t wait. He was so little an inexperienced back then. I can’t wait to see his mouth back around my cock. Back then he could barely fit it in, his little lips were so small.” He glares, “But he’s been tainted by you. I’ve seen it, though the windows of his place. His face between your legs, corrupting him more and more. It’s disgusting,” He says, pulling my hair sharply.

“But don’t worry,” He mutters, “I’m here. I’ll cleanse him again.”

I glared and him, fighting against my bindings. I wanted to hurt him knowing what he’s done to Sehun. This man deserved a painful death. He smiles, taking a gun from his side, pointing it at my head as he moves to stand by my side.

The door slams open, as I see Sehun holding is AR, anger in his eyes. Rage like I’ve never seen as he take a moment to understand the situation. His eyes widen, looking at the gun to my head.

“My little Sehun,” The man says, all the affection in his voice was real, adoration in his smile. “It’s been too long, my dear.”

“Let her go,” He says, walking up, the gun still trained on that disgusting freak.

“This isn’t how this works,” He says, laughing. “Remember? I’m the adult. You listen to me.” He smiles, “Throw your gun into the hole. Do it, or I will shoot her.”

Sehun pauses, a look of fear for a moment. Since I’ve known him, he hasn’t been afraid of anything. Though, now that I understand, I get it.

The gun meets my temple, making me whine in pain. Tears come to my eyes,my head aching even more now. “Trust me, it’s taken everything I had not to kill her already. The woman who touched my property,” He growls, pushing the gun into my head more. “Who tricked you into her bed and spread her disease! Don’t push me, because I desperately want to kill her already!”

Sehun tosses the gun into the hole immediately, hands up as he walks forward. I could see him trying to stay strong, but there was something about him that was completely shaken to his core. Even still, he glared at him, looked him in the eyes and faced his freak of a man again.

The man takes a knife from his side, tossing it right in front of me. “Sehun, I want you to decorate her-”

“I won’t hurt her,” He says, with a growl of anger. Sehun had hate radiating off of him. The anger making his hands shake as he just glared at him.

“Hurt her, or I’ll kill her,” He says with a sick, mocking grin, “your choice.”

Sehun moves, kneeling in front of me and picking up the knife. “I’m sorry,” He says, looking at me. “I’ll try to make this as painless as possible.”

“I want you to admit it to her,” He says, “On her skin. How you feel about her. Give her a reminder of what it is she will lose after tonight is done. Just like I made you to do me.” He pulls his shirt down, showing of the word hate carved there over and over. From shaky little letter to large, capital ones.

Sehun takes the knife, looking at it. It was small, a tiny pocket knife as he presses it into my skin. I whine, trying to move away from the pain but Sehun just holds me still. “I’m sorry,” He says, quietly. Trying to speak only to me. I see tears in his eyes, “Y/N, it’s ok, I’m almost done. Just a little bit longer.” Carve after carve, letter after letter. I look, seeing tears fall from Sehun’s eyes as I was whining. He moves away, dropping the knife as he looks at the look on my skin. I look, only seeing the blood and not a single letter though it.

“Wonderful,” He says, hand grabbing Sehun’s hair and forcing him to look up. “It’s good to be honest about your feelings, after all.” Sehun, for a moment, looks like a child. Scared. Small. It doesn’t last long, though, before he glares at him.

“You remember this, him?” He asks, smirking, his hand moving to his belt, pulling it lose. “Give me this, and I won’t kill her,” He says, smirking. “Resist, and I’ll make you watch as the blood leaves her head and I’ll use her blood to fuck you with.”

I was scared, hearing that. I glanced over at him, seeing my friend look small. Sehun looks ill, glaring at him, but staying still. The man shoves his pants down, pulling his dick out from his pants. He smiles, tapping it to Sehun’s lips. “Here comes the airplane, little Sehun,” He mutters, smiling. “Suck it properly, don’t half ass it, either.”

I wanted to tell him it was fine. That he didn’t have to do this. I can see how much he hated it, now disgusted and scared he was. I would die if it meant he never had to do anything this man ever wants. But I can’t. I was screaming against the tape, but no worse could reach his ears.

Instead, I watch as he glares up at him, opening his mouth and obeys. His other hand moves to Sehun’s head, gripping the hair there as he laughs, “Oh fuck,” He says, moaning, pressing the gun to my head. I try to yell still, my voice muffled by the tape. The man’s head was back as Sehun removes him from his mouth, gasping for air for a moment. Sehun moves, quickly mouthing ‘trust me, I have a plan.’

My eyes locked with him, guilt like a stone in my stomach what he’s willing to do just to save me. He turns, looking back and opening his mouth again. This time, the man wasn’t as kind. A hand tight in his hair, forcing him down, making my friend choke. But still he glares at the man. The hate in his eyes unwavering when he looked at him.

“What a good boy,” The man says, “Still as obedient as ever. I taught you well,” He says, letting out a little gasp. The sound my my friend having to do this making me feel ill. I pulled at my restraints, wanting to help him. The pain as I pulled was stinging, biting into my skin. It was nothing compared to seeing Sehun being used like this, against his will.

He pulls Sehun off of him, “Tell me you love me. Use my name.” He pushes the barrel of the gun to my temple.

“I love you, Sam” He says, eyes closed. He didn’t want to look at him when he said those words.

“Look at me and say it,” He growls, letting go of Sehun’s hair as he takes the rope around my neck, pulling it tightly

I feel it tighten as I gasp for air. He pulled more and more, tighter and tighter until I couldn’t breathe. My eyes watering as I tried to make it stop, get some air in my lungs.

Sehun looks at him, without waiting another moment. His eyes whining with tears, “I love you, Sam.”

“I’ve been waiting for so long,” He mutters, shaking his head. “My little Sehun, I love you too.”

The rope loosens, as breathe quickly though my nose. Sehun looks at me, worried and keeping a watchful eye on me. The man’s hand goes back to Sehun’s hair, “Now, open up for me again, my little tulip.”

It hurt to see him have to do this. Pain himself for this. He does, closing his eyes and choking as the man was thrusting his hips. “Yes,” The man moans, “S-Sehun, I’ve tried to find someone to replace you, but no other boy could!”

I was trying to scream through the tape, tears falling from my eyes freely as Sehun just looks at me, his eyes worried. Soon, the man was moaning, telling Sehun he was about to cum. I feel the gun move briefly away from my face, and I see Sehun look at me, seeing it too. Sehun moves, pulling him out and shoving him. The gun goes off, making me flinch as I see Sehun knocking the gun out of his hand. He yanks one of the chains holding my hands free quickly, as if he knew his plan would work all along. The gun skids a few feet away, out of reach as Sehun straddles the man.

“You disgusting fuck,” Sehun screams, fist connecting with the man’s face. “I hate you, I despise you, you goddamn sick fuck!”

The crunch of his fist hitting the man in the face. Blood on Sehun’s hands as he hits him again and again. I pull the tape off my mouth, getting my other hand free quickly, a bit of pain at my side as I ignore it, trying to get myself ready to help Sehun if he needs.

“I don’t care what you do to me,” Sehun growls, holding the man by the collar. He was bloody, and beaten so bad he was almost unrecognizable. “I will never care so long as it is only on ME! When you bring the people I care about in it, I will make sure you never breathe ever again!” The slam of his fist again, “Y/N is a good person! She doesn’t deserve this! She doesn’t deserve you doing this to her!”

“Yes, she-” The man starts, before Sehun hits him again, letting out a guttural roar of anger.

“Shut up,” He screams, tears falling from his face, “So many years you were my biggest nightmare. What you did to me-”

The man spits out blood, sobbing, “I cared for you! I love you!”

Sehun glares, his voice dark but low. “In no way does someone who cares for a child would ever do the things you made me do. The sad fact is you're a disgusting pig-”

Sehun’s voice fades as I feel faint. I look down, seeing red on my side, near my waist. The gun... went off earlier. I felt myself stumble as I loved towards him, “Sehun,” I mutter, seeing his eyes snap to me. His eyes wide as he moves. A quickl glance around and he sees the pistol. He grabs the gun quickly, glaring at the man and putting a bullet through his head. The sound of the shot ringing in my ears. He moves, pulling me to him and picking me up.

My eyes fade closed, the image of Sehun worried the last thing I see.

When my eyes open, I see the face of Junmyeon. He smiles, placing a hand on my face, “Welcome back,” He says, leaning and pressing a kiss to my forehead.

“Sehun,” I choke out, looking around, trying to sit up. The man, running... the church. It all came back at once.

“He’s… he’s ok,” Junmyeon mutters, looking up. “Purge is over. A few moments before you woke up. I think he’ll be coming back from the place, now.”

“What,” I ask, confused.

“He went and burned the old church down,” He says, “I told him to leave or else I wouldn’t have been able to sew your wound up, he was so attached to you. Just a graze,” He says, before pointing at the bandage on my chest. “I also patched that up, but it seems like that is going to scar.”

Tears spring to my eyes, remembering, “He… oh god, Junmyeon-”

“I know,” He says, “Who that man is. Sehun told me about it a long time ago. I’m glad he’s dead.”

My memories flashback, as I rip the bandage off. I look, seeing the words, finally. The pain of each cut I remember clearly. I remember Sehun crying as he cut me, hurting me, just to carve how he felt in my skin to save me.

‘I love you, but I don’t deserve you.’

I felt my heart in my throat. I looked at Junmyeon, “Can I leave?”

He nods, “Be careful, don’t rip your stitches. He’s probably in the living room here, waiting by now.”

I go to move, before he grabs my hand and shoving a spare shirt into my hand. My torso bare still, I didn’t even notice.. I pull it on, hissing at the pain from the graze bullet wound. I move, looking quickly. The clinic was getting empty, people going home after a night of hell. I smile, seeing the little girl crying and holding a woman she called ‘Mommy’.

but that wasn’t what was going to make feel at ease. I turn the corner, looking around quickly. I see him there, head in his hands as he sits on the couch, alone in the room. A cut on his fore arm still dripping, the edge of his shirt a bit burn. He looked, fine on the outside. it was his mind I was worried about.

I move, getting on his lap. He was shocked, looking at me, eyes wide. “You’re ok? Tha-”

I brush my lips to his, the kiss soft. It’s never been like this, for us. Our kisses are usually pure lust or hard and angry. When he’d wake up from nightmares and we’d have sex so softly, we never kissed. He avoided kissing me on the lips, kissing me every where else. I pour everything I had into it, wanting him to feel that I felt it too. That I’ve been holding back from my true feelings all this time. I feel him trembling, like he was overwhelmed with emotions. I was too, feeling myself shake. His soft lips pressed against mine, kissing me back. I pull away, smiling.

“Oh Sehun,” I mutter, looking him in the eyes. “I love you. I’ve loved you for years. I never acted because you never showed any interest in any relationship other than friendship or purely sexual. And I… I’m s-so sorry,” I mutter, feeling tears come to my eyes. “I would have rather you let him shoot me than do th-”

He holds me face tightly, pressing his lips to mine, this time he shows me all he felt though the movements of our lips. They were so soft, making sure to not hurt me as his passion shined though. I felt his fingers trembling as he pulled away, “Never. I would have been a fucking slave to him if it kept you alive,” His eyes filling with tears, “You’re worth it, you’re worth everything and then some. More than I could ever give you.” He holds my face, “I can’t live if you’re gone. I wouldn’t be able to live with myself.” He smiles, looking down, “I... I never said anything because how can someone like you ever love someone like me? I’m barely together, Y/N. You deserve a man who can give you anything you want and who can love you like you deserve.”

“Oh Sehun,” I mutter again, “I love you. Only you. It’s only ever been you. I’ve been there for your nightmares, for your injuries. This? What happened? What you’ve survived though? I doesn’t change that. You’re not damaged, or broken. You just need to let people in so you can heal. And I intend to help you through that, too.”

I pull him into a hug, letting him cry into my shoulder as he held me, carefully but close. My hand rubbing his back, letting him get it all out as I mutter words of encouragement into his ear. All the pain he’s held onto for so long finally coming out as silent tears fall from my eyes.

Sehun has been the guardian for everyone for so long. It’s long past due someone was one for him.

#exo scenarios #exo fanfic #exo smut #exo fanfiction #sehun smut #sehun fanfic #oh sehun smut #oh sehun fanfic #sehun fanfiction #oh sehun fanfiction

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t0ngue-tech · 7 years

Text

Longing For You

“Out of all of things that were stacked on your plate for your senior year, your unrequited feelings for Taehyung was the thing stressing you out the most and you hated it. You already had enough to worry about, feelings shouldn’t be one of them.”

↠soft angsty ish, highschoolAU↞

word count: 3.3k

↠series↞

A/N: ya girl is back with another cheesy best friend/unrequited love AU! not gonna lie, these stories are definitely one of my faves to write. hopefully you’re not tired of it yet lol. i hope you guise enjoy this story ^-^

You stared at your laptop screen for what seemed to be hours, but in reality it’s only been 15 minutes. Senior year started a month ago and it already felt like you were swamped with a lot more work than you were supposed to be. But of course, you were student council president, the workload was already a given.

As council president, you were in charge of the events for your class which also meant the winter formal. The entire council had already begun an outline during the last couple weeks of summer vacation, so you were going over it trying to map things out more specifically. You squinted at the black lettering of the document and pushed your laptop away from you to plant your face onto the table.

You took an almost full schedule of AP honors classes and the first month of school already wiped you out. Not having enough hours of sleep was a side effect of taking the AP classes and you were already warned about it.

“Good luck on sleep, y/n. You won’t be getting any of it.”

“I’m shocked, Tae. Are you doubting me?”

“Ehh. Just warning you.”

“Well, he wasn’t wrong.” You mumbled and brought you head up to rest your chin on your palm. You stared out the window to see if you could get a good glimpse of the basketball courts. “Hm, empty.”

“Class prez’! How’s my favorite girl?” The deep bass of a boy’s voice startled you to the car. A very sweaty student walked into the council room with a backpack over his shoulder and a basketball under his arm. “Looking for me?”

“You wish, Tae.” You folded your arms across your chest and tipped your head back.

“Ouch. I haven’t seen my best friend for a week and this is how you treat me?”

You and Kim Taehyung knew each other since you were both toddlers. Your fathers worked together through business and were constantly overseas during your childhood. This meant that your mothers would get together for a meal and you and Taehyung would play together. Being this close resulted in attending the same elementary, middle, and eventually, high school. There was no way of escaping Taehyung’s personality and his love for spontaneous adventures. He always wanted to hangout, get a late night snack, or even trespass in the community center pool to go for a swim. Not only did you have a lot of memories with Taehyung, you also had gut wrenching feelings.

“Stop being dramatic. I’m just tired.” You weakly smiled at him and sat up straight.

“I know. Why don’t you replace one of your AP classes with a regular honors class? I’m taking honors english and it’s not so bad.” Taehyung dropped his belongings and sat on the edge of the table you were working on. “Oh! Take the class with me! You can still switch!”

You laughed dryly at his comment. Despite not seeing him for a week, you saw Taehyung enough and having him in a class was internally going to make things more complicated for you.

Your feelings for Taehyung never surfaced until middle school. It was a late night and you both were hurrying home after staying out to try and catch fireflies. Your mason jars came up empty, but the adrenaline rush of running into the night was always euphoric for you. Taehyung suggested a short cut and this involved hopping over a tall fence. As you followed his method in climbing over the steel barricade, you misplaced your foot and slipped at the top. You scraped your knee on one of the wires at the top and crashed onto the pavement. For a moment, you had no idea where you were because the impact of the fall had you in shock.

“Y/n! Are you okay? Holy fuck—what hurts? Can you stand?” Taehyung frantically rushed to your side to help you sit up against his chest.

“Yeah, I think I can—ah! Fuck!” You tried to lift yourself off of the cement, but the pain in your knee prevented from doing so. The pain was unbearable and when you looked down, there was a tremendous amount of blood soaking your leg.

“Oh my fuck. Okay, hold on I need to control the bleeding.” Taehyung tossed his backpack aside and peeled his shirt off to use it as a gauze. After securing it, knelt down with his back towards you. “Carry my backpack and climb on, I’ll carry you to my house since it’s closer from this side.” You obliged because of your inability to walk.

There were about two more blocks until Taehyung’s neighborhood and you two spent the time talking about random things. The whole walk there you soaked in the warmth of his skin and broadness of his shoulders. His honey colored hair smelt like apples and pinewood and you were amazing by his stamina for carrying you the whole way there.

“I’ll have my mom call your mom so she’s not worried. Hm, we’re going to have to think of an excuse though. After what happened to you in the sixth grade I don’t think she would be happy hearing that you hopped a fence.” You laughed at the memory of your mom being horrified over the purple-blue bruise you got from hopping a fence.

You dipped your head into the side of his neck and hummed. “I can just say I slipped trying to catch a firefly. I’ll deal with the details myself.” Taehyung nodded his head and lifted you upward to adjust your position. “You can put me down, you know. We’re not too far from your place.”

“It’s fine, y/n. Your knee was cut up pretty bad.” There was a hint of concern in Taehyung’s voice and you closed your eyes, burying your face deeper into his skin. “When you fell, I called your name twice and you didn’t answer… I almost cried on the spot.”

“Stop being dramatic, Tae.” You laughed.

“I’m serious, y/n. Let’s cut back on the night time adventures until you fully heal. No matter how many daring things we’ve done, I’ve never been more scared than I was at that moment.” Taehyung couldn’t see you but your eyes softened and you could tell your cheeks were flushed.

Hearing Taehyung talk to you like that was almost like a taboo of some sorts. It was always “suck it up, the cut will close up tomorrow,” or “clean it, put a band aid, and let’s head right back.” Taehyung’s version of “tough love” was practically vanilla and his solution to everything was to slap on a band aid. The words he said to you made your heart race and it made you wonder if it was really your Taehyung that was carrying you.

“O-Okay.” You sputtered.

“I’ll ask my mom to ask your mom if you could sleep over.”

“Tae, I live two blocks after yours. I can walk after I rest for a bit.”

“Nope. I won’t allow that. You’ve slept over before, so I’m pretty sure your mom won’t mind.”

It was true, you did sleepover multiple times in the past. You took his bed while he slept comfortably on a foldable mattress on the carpet. This was something you were already used to and yet, your heart wouldn’t stop pounding.

You didn’t sleep well that night.

“So? What do you say, y/n? Take my honors english class.” Taehyung’s voice brought you back to reality. Hopefully you weren’t spacing out for too long.

“Eh, I don’t know.” You shrugged. “I like my teacher for that class. Maybe I’ll consider a different one.”

“Fine, but you’re going to be missing out on the seatmate ever.”

You put your attention back to your laptop and began rereading the outline. Taehyung noticed and stood behind you to take a peek.

“Ooh! Is this the winter formal? Do we have a theme yet?” Taehyung settled his hands beside your arms, trapped you right in between and settled his chin on your head. Thankfully he was standing behind you so he wouldn’t have to see how flushed your cheeks were. Taehyung had no problem with physically keeping you close to him. Whether it was wrapping his arm around your shoulder as you walked in the hallways, leaning his head on your shoulder when he sat down beside you, or tightly holding onto your sweaty hand trying to get you to run faster. If it wasn’t for him piggy backing you and saying those words back in middle school then maybe you would be used to these actions. Even after doing it a million times, you still weren’t adjusted.

“Y/n, what the heck are you doing here? We told you to go home today so you could rest.” A mutual friend of you and Taehyung, Jung Hoseok, stood in the doorway.

“Hey Hoseok! Your hair faded into a pretty cool color.” Taehyung released you from his clutches to give Hoseok a bro hug.

“Right? Surprisingly, the purple and silver pink-ish color mixes well together.” He ruffled his hair and approached you flick your forehead. “Go home, Ms. Stubborn.”

Taehyung stared at you with wide eyes and closed your laptop. “She isn’t supposed to be in the council room today?”

“Nope. She kept falling in and out of sleep during yesterday’s meeting so we decided for her to go straight home and take a nice long nap.” You stared at your oddly colored hair friend with a displeased look.

“Well, if that’s the case—” Taehyung gathered all of his belongings, including yours, and pulled you up by the arm. “Let’s go home together.”

↠↞

The car ride home was the same as usual, Taehyung reclined the passenger seat almost all the way down and stuck his feet out your window. He rambled on about how nervous he was for his road test next week. You got your provisional license before Taehyung and this resulted in you driving him around everywhere because you barely trusted him with your car. It was a bit terrifying sitting in the passenger seat when Taehyung drove, but over time it wasn’t as life threatening as it was in the beginning.

“Hopefully I pass the road test. Signing up for an appointment online was hard as fuck because the spots fill in quick and I want to be able to drive to the winter formal.” He groaned scratching his scalp with full force.

“You’ll be fine, Tae. Just relax and continue to practice driving until your appointment.”

“If I fail and there’s no other spots open before the formal, my date and I can ride with you and your date, right?”

The conversation escalated quickly and his question caught you off guard. “Y-You know who you’re taking to the formal already?” You really didn’t mean to stutter when asking your question, but fortunately Taehyung didn’t make a remark about it at all.

“Nah, I’m just generally speaking.” You were relieved, but honestly, you had a feeling that there was no way Taehyung would seriously ask you to be his date. “Hey, but if I can’t get myself a date and if someone doesn’t ask you, do you want to go together?”

“Okay, fine with me.”

↠↞

“You have a chance with going with Tae to the formal. What’s wrong with that?”

“Hoseok, do you not realize how many girls fawn over the ace player of our basketball team?!”

Textbooks and notebooks were sprawled in the middle of your bed whilst you and Hoseok surrounded them. The nap you took only lasted for an hour and you still woke up exhausted. Due to not being able to nap, you called Hoseok over to study. You both studied for about a half an hour until you became distracted and directed your attention elsewhere.

“So? None of those girls are you.” Hoseok reassured you by tossing a crumpled piece of paper at your face. You gave him a weak smile and reached over squeeze his knee.

You met Hoseok during your junior year when he won position as class treasurer. At first he seemed quiet, someone who kept to himself, but he easily opened up to you after a week or two and he was the complete opposite.

Over the past year, Hoseok remained by your side and helped you through council and your classes. It turned out that he knew Taehyung through a science class in sophomore year, so the three of you got along perfectly. It was until Hoseok told you that you and Taehyung would make a cute couple and it triggered you to open up about your feelings for your best friend.

Hoseok fully supported your feelings and wanted to help blossom a romantic relationship, but you adamantly refused. You already stitched in your mind that Taehyung was just your friend and that’s all it was going to ever be.

“Anyways,” you sigh. “How is long-distance so far? You two doing okay?”

“It’s going alright so far. Seokjin is still trying to adjust to his time zone, but overall we’re still fine.” Hoseok explained with a smile.

The vice president of last year’s council was Kim Seokjin, who was Hoseok’s boyfriend. They began dating after a few months of getting to know each other and were still happily together a year later. During the summer transitioning into senior year, Seokjin had to move abroad due to his parents job and also to be closer to his college of choice. Hoseok had been in a slump for weeks, but you helped pick him up back to his cheerful self.

They kept their relationship under the radar and it wasn’t because they were ashamed, it was plainly because they wanted to keep their relationship to themselves.

“It must be such a beautiful thing having a relationship with someone with mutual romantic feelings.” You spewed out, slumping back onto your side.

“I told you, I can pull strings and set you two up! It’ll be fine!” Hoseok reached over the pile of books to latch onto your wrists and pull you back up.

“Hoseok, no. You’ve seen the girls he talked to, I don’t fit into that category—speaking of the devil, hello?”

Your phone was buzzing beside you; a call from Taehyung.

“I hunger. Let’s get something to eat!”

“Sorry, Tae. I’m currently studying with Hoseok.”

“You didn’t want to study with me instead?”

You looked up at Hoseok and gave him a weird look. “Aren’t you tired of seeing me all the time?”

“Never. I would never get tired of seeing you. Don’t tell me you’re sick of me, y/n?”

It was clear to Hoseok that Taehyung said something gut wrenching because of how pink your cheeks had gotten.

“No, Tae. I’m not sick of you. Let’s get something to eat after school tomorrow. I don’t have concil.”

“Okay. You promised!”

Taehyung ended the call and you tossed your phone near Hoseok’s direction. You cupped your cheeks to cool down the warmth, but your friend was already chuckling to himself.

“Shut up or else you’re not getting dinner.”

“Okay, okay, y/n. Whatever you say.”

↠↞

Time came and went and you were seeing Hoseok off at your porch. Your mom had always treated Hoseok like a son, so he was welcome to your home anytime. The sun had completely set when he left, but you sat at the stairs of your porch to take in the nighttime breeze. Out of all of things that were stacked on your plate for your senior year, your unrequited feelings for Taehyung was the thing stressing you out the most and you hated it. You already had enough to worry about, feelings shouldn’t be one of them.

You hated knowing Taehyung all your life. You hated knowing his likes and dislikes, the girls he dated, the girls who would ask for his number. It annoyed you how open he was with his life because you knew every single thing about him and vice versa. But the one thing he didn’t know about you was the only thing that could break your friendship.

Even if you hated all of those things, you loved it all. You loved the way Taehyung went to you first when he needed to vent about something. You loved it when he surprises you with a figurine or a hair accessory because it reminded me of you, so I had to get it. He knew how to cheer you up and how to push your buttons. He memorized your coffee order, favorite foods, and knew exactly when it was the time of the month for you.

“Dude, you don’t have to know that.”

“Y/n, I have to. It’s my job.”

You thought that falling in like with a best friend only happened in movies and books, but you were experiencing it first hand. It was emotionally exhausting for you. You once stopped talking to Taehyung for a week to see if it would make things easier, but he wouldn’t leave you alone. He constantly asked you what he did wrong and what he could do to better himself. This resulted in you telling him that you were just feeling emotional during that week and he brought you brownies to make you happy.

“You look like you just went through a bad breakup.”

You couldn’t tell if the universe was working for you or against you because the next thing you knew, Taehyung was walking up your driveway with a plastic bag in one hand.

“I coming bearing gifts!” Taehyung took a seat beside you and dropped the plastic bag in your lap. “My mom’s brownies!”

A smile automatically bloomed across your face because Taehyung knew damn well how much you loved his mother’s baking. Before you could open the bag yourself, he beat you to it by reaching in within a blink of an eye. Right when you were just about to yell at him, he breaks a piece off the delectable square and pushed it past your lips.

“Now tell me, who hurt you?”

“No one, Tae. Just thinking about all of the shit I have to do for school.” You lie in between chews.

“Ah, yes. I can relate. I tend to also stare off into the distance and sadly think about school.” You scoff at his response. You weren’t sure if he was actually sympathizing or mocking you.

“What brings you here?” You asked, breaking another piece off the brownie but instead of eating it, you fed Taehyung.

“Well, I was eating dinner and I saw my mom preparing all of the shit she uses to bake brownies and I was like, ‘yo mom, put some on the side and I’ll drop some off to y/n since she loves your desserts.’” Taehyung casually explained and you couldn’t help but laugh. He always knew how to explain something as simple as that in a humorous tone. As quick as he came, Taehyung stood up and prepared to leave.

“You don’t want to stay?” You asked with a pout you didn’t mean to use.

“Why? You’ll miss me?” He teased and that earned him a light kick to his ankle. “I’m kidding. I have some shit I need to do, so I should head home.”

You stood up and nodded your head. “Alright. Head home safely.”

“See you tomorrow, y/n.” Taehyung smirked and ruffled your hair. You watched him scurry down your driveway and vanish down the street.

Taehyung was an ethereal human being who you were blessed to have as a best friend. But sometimes you thought about how much easier your life would have been if you weren’t best friends. At the same time, he was your sounding board and ride-or-die. He was such an important person in your life and you knew you needed him.

And that’s what scared you the most.

♡ rae jagi

#bangtan boys #bts #taehyung #taehyung scenarios #bts fanfics #bts angst #taehyung angst #meep #taetae #rae writes

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eloarei · 7 years

Text

In which I discuss my feelings revolving around a rare-pair I'm really into right now, and self-analyze my shipping habits (again) and my relationships with my parents.

aka

Why the goddam hell does Elo keep falling for ships that others read as paternal?! ...2500 words of ship-talk and self-analyses under the cut! Read if you like!

Full disclosure, this is absolutely about my love for "DekuMight" (the pairing of Midoriya Izuku and Yagi Toshinori/ All Might) from Boku no Hero Academia (bnha). But I'm definitely going to compare it to several other similar ships I've had over the years.

Point 1: I love DekuMight, and here's a little bit of why.

Point 2: Here are some other similar ships I've loved, and a bit of why.

Point 3: These ships are often read as Father/Son (etc) by the majority.

Point 4: My relationships with my parents, especially my "fathers".

Point 5: Conclusion

Alright, Point 1:

I started watching bnha a few months ago. I often go into new series with preconceived notions about ships, due to exposure from tumblr. This was, oddly, not the case this time. I like to try to watch things in an unbiased way at first, so I tried to keep the 'shipping goggles' off as long as possible. However, it quickly became obvious to me that I had found my ship, despite efforts not to. (Unfortunately, I can't remember exactly when I realized it.)

In case you're not familiar with the series (lol I write this like anyone's even reading this thing anyway), I'll explain it/the characters just a little. Izuku, the main character, is a highschool boy who befriends his favorite superhero, All Might, and then inherits his power. This is not really a spoiler; it happens in the first few episodes, and is the basis for the whole series. Izuku is presumably about 15, give or take a year because of time passing. All Might's age is never stated, but he can easily be assumed at least 35. My estimate puts him anywhere from 35 to 55. They're shown, in canon, to have a positive and friendly relationship. (Not to say that it's without its flaws, of course.)

Here are some reasons why I ship them (minus the psychological self-analysis; I'll get to that later) :

--They get along well. Izuku has been a huge fan of All Might ever since he was tiny. He clearly idolizes him. All Might is also impressed by Izuku. They seem to care about each other.

--They inspire each other to be better. Izuku has always been, and continues to be, inspired by the hero. All Might shows early-on that his drive to be a hero is reinvigorated by Izuku's passion.

--They share a secret that most others aren't in on. Both the existence of All Might's "true form" and the fact that he shared his power with Izuku are big and dangerous secrets that only a few people know. This is primarily what binds them together.

--They enable each other. In this case, it's not really a positive thing, because they're enabling each others' self-destructive habits, due to their shared passion for heroism. (Example: All Might never tells Izuku to stop breaking his whole damn body while he's training/fighting. They both seem to believe that self-harm is acceptable when pursuing their goals.)

--Other reasons revolve around headcanons, minor situations, themes, and micro-analyses.

(Examples:

Izuku had to literally ingest a part of All Might in order to gain his powers, which hits on a lot of themes.

Izuku will presumably begin to stop idolizing All Might, and begin to start seeing him as a person.

I hardcore headcanon that Izuku had a major crush on All Might before meeting him, because, really, have a you ever seen/read a story about a boy who obsessed over a superhero and wasn't super gay for him?)

I could go on with examples, but I won't.

Point 2:

Other ships I've found myself liking-- some of which I still actively ship, others of which I guiltily backed out of when I realized the context the story was trying to paint.

--Doc/Marty, from Back to the Future. This is a GREAT ship, and I will defend it endlessly. These two share most of my reasons for shipping DekuMight: they get along, they inspire/enable each other, and they share a very very big secret. While they're obviously not canon, and the age difference between them is the widest of any of my ships (uh, in the normal timeline; they're about 65/16), I think they may be the most widely accepted of these ships, even casually (if jokingly) being accepted in popular culture.

--Ples/Veser, from the webcomic Hanna Is Not A Boy's Name. This one is a little hard to properly justify, given that the webcomic went on perma-hiatus before they canonically had a chance to meet, but they're 37/19 and they're shown in sketches interacting and teasing each other. My serious basis for shipping these two deals with a source of mutual trauma, and a potential for that "shared secret" thing the others have going on.

--Law/Corazon, from One Piece. Definitely a strange one. We're first introduced to Corazon through a vague mention from Law, who we've known for years by this point. "Cora" is the name he speaks when he's on the verge of death, and also the person who he's based his entire theme/identity on. (By the way, that theme is heart-based.) We later find out that Corazon was the man who saved him from death when Law was a child, when everyone else (including himself) was ready to let him die. Their "shared secrets" include Cora's true identity, a months-long journey they went on to cure Law, and the plot to steal a valuable item meant to cure him. Cora unfortunately is murdered in the attempt, but first hides Law, smiles widely at him, and says "I love you". Lord have mercy on me, I cried several times. This is definitely awkward territory, given that flashback-Law is a pre-pubescent child and Cora is, I dunno, 30+? My basis for shipping them lies primarily in adult-Law's continued fixation on Cora's memory.

(Further awkwardness for this ship: Though I don't recall it happening in the anime, I think in the manga, Cora might have actually called Law his son at one point? Given that bnha's author is a One Piece fan, I wouldn't be surprised if Izuku and All Might's relationship mirrors this at all, in the future.)

--Several ships I remember being intrigued by early in the story, before they were explicitly stated as being paternal, including Treasure Planet and Bioshock Infinite. I'm positive there are more, but I've probably blocked them from my memory. XD;;;;

Point 3:

The majority of fans, in my noticing, tend to read these as Father/Son relationships. (This is particularly true of Izuku/All Might and Law/Corazon, and I'm mostly focusing on the former now.) I can certainly understand where people are coming from here, even though it doesn't ring true for me.

Reasons why they see this as a Father/Son pair (probably) :

-- The number one reason I think most can't help but see this as a parental relationship is the age difference. With a roughly ~30 year difference between Izuku and All Might, that does seem statistically likely. In both real life and fiction, I think people are uncomfortable with age-gap friendships unless they fall into some category like "parent figure" (or "aunt/uncle"). Even "Teacher" and "Mentor" are usually considered a type of parent figure.

-- Izuku HAS a father, but we never really see him. In the anime so far, he's only mentioned once, while his mother makes multiple appearances.

-- All Might is very supportive of Izuku. He gives him the power to pursue his dreams, and encourages him.

-- All Might calls him "Midoriya Shounen", translating to "Young Midoriya" and sort of implying "boy" or "my boy".

-- All Might is shown acting 'fatherly' to other young characters. He hugs the winners of the tournament, for example. (It was cute; I got emotional.) (Tbh though, this could also be a sign of his Americanism? because Americans are thought to be much touchier.)

-- It's an easy explanation for their relationship, particularly if you ship either character with someone else (which most people do).

Point 4:

Now we get into my own personal psychology. The TL;DR of it is that my perception of parenthood (particular with fathers) does not line up with how these characters act.

I have had a perhaps complicated relationship with the concept of fatherhood. I have (or have had) more parents than any one person really needs. Between my biological parents, my adopted parents, my friends' parents, my aunts/uncles, and older family friends, I've had more parents than I can shake a stick at, and I have truly loved all of them. However, none of my fathers ever acted toward me like the older men in my ships do towards their younger partners.

First and foremost is my adopted father, who raised me. He loved me, I'm sure, and we generally liked each other, but he never expressed an interest in getting to know me as a person, or seeing what I was interested in. He didn't encourage me to follow my dreams, and it's unlikely that we would have wanted to hang out much. He looked after me and provided for me, but as I got older he seemed to lose interest in me. (He greatly preferred when I was young and could be molded to fit his image.) He died when I was 15, which likely contributes to my views in regards to age, but that's another self-analysis post. (EDIT: My 2nd Dekumight meta.)

My biological father, I don't know very well. I've certainly spent some time with him, but we have never bonded.

My favorite allo-dad, my childhood best friend's dad, Lee, is the man I have the most positive memories of. I spent a lot of time at that house, perhaps as much as my own. He seemed to make some effort to be involved in my interests and remember my odd preferences. (Example: he bought us (me and his daughters) Pocky. He got them normal flavors but got banana for me because he knew I liked to try different things.) Of the men I spent time with as a kid, he was the one I could have most easily 'hung out' with, especially due to having some shared interests. However, even he had, at most, only a mild interest in what I was ever doing or thinking.

Most of my other allo-dads were the same: nice guys who mostly seemed uninterested in being particularly involved in my life. This clearly influences my view of what a "father" is. In my mind, a father is the man who provides for you, loves you (often due to familiarity and familial obligation), but does not have the interest (or want to take the time) in getting to know you as a person or being very involved in your life.

Point 4.9: I do have one very positive and encouraging male relationship in my life: my husband. He is a man that I easily get along with, who encourages me to be happy and to be my best self, who happily listens to my thoughts and ideas, who inspires and enables me, and who I share all of my secrets with. He is the one person I would be most lost without, who I would fight to defend, who I would team up with against the whole rest of the world.

Point 5:

I do not see DekuMight as a father/son relationship because of this. Let's look again at some of the points of their relationship which I mentioned before (the reasons I ship them).

--They get along well, they seem to genuinely like each other. My fathers and I never disliked each other, but it is unlikely we would have ever gone out of our way to spend time together.

--They inspire each other. I highly doubt I ever inspired my fathers, and they never really spent any effort to encourage me.

--They share secrets. I never shared any sort of secrets with my fathers. Assuming that this could be skewed along gender lines, I'll note I never really shared secrets with my mothers either.

--They enable each other (both positive and negative) due to shared passion. My fathers physically/financially enabled me (as a parent must), but not much further. Rarely, if ever, did we bond over shared passions/interests.

These are, however, all things that I share with my husband-- and with my other friends, to a degree.

I'm perfectly willing to accept that there may be parents (particularly fathers) out there, in both real life and in fiction) who DO do these things, and it's very likely that that's what fathers are supposed to be like. However, that's not how it is, in my experience.

POINT 6:

I actually forgot, the main purpose of this was originally going to be a little bit of a rant about how awkward and uncomfortable it is to be a shipper of something primarily seen as a parental relationship-- mostly because every time I see art of them I know it's going to be portrayed in that way, and it rather clashes with my own interpretation. I certainly don't begrudge people thinking however they do, especially as it seems to be a common viewpoint, but it makes me feel guilty ever interacting with those people (aka the majority of the fandom) because, presumably, they would be very probably 'squicked' by my interpretation.

TL;DR it's tiring and awkward and kind of saddening to have an unpopular opinion. ^^;;; In the unlikely event that anybody read this, thanks very much! Please do feel free to reblog/message me/etc if you, I dunno, feel like gettin’ all up in my discourse or whatever. As long as you’re not gonna be super rude about it. Also also, in the extra unlikely event that anybody reading this is actually a DekuMight fan, I’ve been writing a lot of fic lately over on AO3, if you wanna check that out. =] ALSO ALSO! I got my first-ever anon hate after I posted this! I’m super proud, haha. Check it out! EDIT: I’ve done a second meta now! This one revolves around the age issue. Please have a look if you like.

#elo talks #Dekumight #bnha meta #I mean... sort of?#long post #sorry I hope read-mores are working on mobile these days #elo works

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