#I’m not trying to erase the fact that having someone “not match your vibe” probably doesn’t feel great

[transgendercastiel]

when people say oh the worst thing is when someone really likes you and is excited about talking to you and you don’t think they’re worth your time. Actually I think being on the other side of that is worse tbh. I think that’s pretty clear

[caustinen]

Loving your Hollywood Clegan AU so much!

Curious though...how do they transition when their relationship becomes public? Are there any issues with fan backlash? Or being an openly gay actor? What about the increased paparazzi attention or stalkerish fans? :O

Hello lovely person!! As usual this got a bit long but I hope it answers the question a bit at least 😂💘

To start off with, I usually reimagine my fics in worlds that don’t have homophobia because I personally don’t enjoy writing it/making it a plot point, there’s so much amazing art in all forms dealing with it that it doesn’t feel like trying to erase a very real problem/ignore it because obviously it unfortunately is a big part of queer experience for a lot of people, it’s just that I like to imagine worlds where that isn’t a factor just so there’s also places to escape that, esp in silly fanfiction that I write – that’s what I also enjoy to read as a queer person myself! So while it would definitely give this au a lot of depth, I’m at least not right now including that in these replies <3

As for the other stuff, I have not thought about it a lot even though these should be kinda the main questions for this au… So let’s think about it!

Paparazzi – John dislikes paparazzi as much as anyone but Gale despises them. He finds it a bit invasive but kind of a “part of the job” con for John and later their relationship in the public when it happens when arriving to/leaving events, but when he first catches someone taking his picture while leaving the gym or his office he gets very antsy. This creates some tensions for a bit as John understands his stress but also feels like they talked about it beforehand and now he can’t really do anything about it. When they’re out together and they spot paparazzi John always tries to block Gale from the sight, pull him behind himself or guide them some other way. They love to travel and it’s also easier to avoid being spotted when they’re away from LA/New York. It’s bad for the first few months but eventually the attention on them eases up a bit and they can go back to the new normal with only occasional encounters with the paparazzi; Gale also grows more accustomed to it and knows how to dress to and act to hide & make it a bit less intense.

Fan backlash – I think this would be an interesting thing to explore. Even though a lot of the fans are just happy for John, there are also some who have become too parasocial/illusioned about him after being fans for years (and he is a heartthrob and charming and widely accepted as “boyfriend material”) that they get upset when the relationship is revealed, starting to talk shit on social media about John never having been genuine and has only been lying to his fans meaning he never actually cared about them, and through that getting to insult his work and that they only went to see it because he’s hot but now it’s ruined. John was also shipped with a lot of his previous castmates and some shippers are also upset and saying he “setteled” for Gale who’s “just an ordinary office worker” when he could’ve had a flashy Hollywood Romance – while many see his fiancés shyness and soft-spokeness in public as adorable, some say he doesn’t match John’s vibe at all, and the fact that John also seems different with him is not a good thing and they start to psychoanalyze their relationship. John couldn’t care less for some angry comments on his insta but some of the hate is directed towards Gale, and he’s a bit taken aback when he starts to receive DM’s telling him to leave John immediately and accusing him of manipulating him into a relationship with “someone like him”. John is obviously very upset by all of this but Gale reminds him that he’s seen it all at work and can handle himself.

Stalkers – The other extreme of Gale haters would then be the people who get like way into him real fast, he’s beloved by the masses, sure, but these people are more like a cult (probably of the similar style of fan as the one’s who turn against John in the previous point, like highkey parasocial behavior but when John starts to date publicly it’s like “no, he’s OUR boyfriend” but not in a funny way you know). The line is blurred to some people what it means that John revealed he has a partner, it’s not a ”new part of him” but a real person of his own that happens to be dating their favorite actor, and this gets lost on some people who start to treat him almost like he was Bucky’s pet (idk if this makes any sense but like as if he was just a cute little thing he can post pics about and doesn’t really have an agency of their own AND the fans feel like they ”know him” when they actually know nothing about him except that he’s dating their idol). Gale’s not expecting to get any “fans” of his own, so he’s a bit weary when he’s asked to take pics with people without John or given stuff on red carpets etc, and especially when people really cross boundaries and try to gift him/them like condoma or sex toys or lingerie (I’m thinking of that one interview where they showed Austin his fan merch and there was the thong with his face on it and I’m thinking someone gifting a similar one of Bucky to him and him being absolutely horrified) or something else kinda projecting their own fantasies into them, or playing it off as a joke while it’s actually really distrurbing — just because they’re out doesn’t mean the relationship opened for other people to comment on. Then of course there’s just the usual internet hellhole-stuff, people start sending him really inappropriate messages about his body/looks/what they’d want to do to him given the chance that he maybe didn’t expect because he doesn’t believe John when he tells him that’s like notably attractive. I could also imagine for example a moment where someone approaches them when they’re leaving an event or something and Gale is being professional and polite but the other person is really overstaying their welcome/not following social cues but talking to him like a friend would and when John tries to politely lead them onwards the “fan” grabs Gale’s arm or something and it causes a small scene. Gale is stressed in these situations mostly because he fears how they’ll reflect on John’s image if he’s presented as being rude to fans but luckily these are rare occasions.

Despite all of this, they both are happy that the relationship is public, there are more pros than cons for being able to build their future together without having to be each others dirty little secrets (idk why but it came to my mind now that Gale is so the type that since he couldn’t always tell people he had a partner, everyone would either hit on him or try to match him with someone because “how is someone that pretty single?!” and this would annoy the hell out of Bucky despite him being the one with millions of options at any given moment, i like some jealous bucky :D)

Hope this was satisfactory!! Any more ideas to these scenarios? I’m so used to doing just fluff/smut so this was a fun challenge, thank you! <3

[violetwolfraven]

Ray Molina: Best Dad Ever

For the March 11th explosion of content thing. Just Violet being a fantom and doing my part for this!

Tw: mentioned death, mentioned abusive parents, mentioned panic attack.

So the boys can be seen and heard when directly touching Julie after the whole post-Orpheum glowy hug thing but Ray doesn’t know that just yet.

What he does know is that Julie’s mental health took a rapid turn for the better for seemingly no reason and then a couple weeks later he found out she joined a band without telling him.

He’s not stupid. He knows that’s probably because of the band, though he is a bit confused as to how she even met them.

He kinda figures it’s a kids and your internet tricks thing but there’s some flaws to this theory.

1) He asks Flynn what she knows about the boys only... it seems like she doesn’t know much of anything. That’s weird because he knows Julie tells her practically everything.

2) The boys have American accents despite Julie claiming they’re from Sweden.

3) Carlos is a terrible liar and on the rare occasion Julie actually talks about the boys he gets this weirdly conspiratorial look.

So anyway Ray doesn’t really believe it’s as simple as ‘I met these 3 Swedish boys on the internet’ but he trusts his daughter’s judgement and he leaves it alone.

Anyway he has other things to focus on.

Such as how Ray has literally never been able to keep track of his keys/phone/hats/camera parts/stuff and now it seems to just pop up whenever he’s looking for it.

Also he keeps feeling like there’s someone with him around the house more and more.

Like not a malicious presence like Victoria fears, and definitely not like Rose is around watching him, but like someone is there.

Sometimes it feels like there’s more than one presence around. None of them familiar but all of them friendly.

Oddly enough, whatever or whoever it is feels almost like Julie or Carlos. Young and excitable and like a verse of a happy song. He’s not sure why they’re around, but they definitely don’t feel dangerous, so Ray doesn’t feel threatened.

But some days a better comparison might be to Trevor back when Rose first introduced him. Raw and fragile and very, very sad.

Ray tries to put on happy music or a Disney cartoon or something on those days and he doesn’t quite know why or how but the energy usually gets more positive when he does that.

Anyway after a while of this (after the Orpheum performance) he starts noticing weird things that Carlos and Julie do now.

Carlos will just carry around a small whiteboard and a couple pens and he erases it whenever Ray comes into the room but before he does it almost looks like there’s two, three, or even four sets of handwriting on there.

And he walks in on Julie talking to herself like. All the time.

Carlos doesn’t ask for help on his math homework anymore. Julie makes this insanely good chicken recipe for dinner once and then clearly panics and lies when asked where she got it. Flynn makes a set of rainbow friendship bracelets one day while she’s hanging out at the Molina house but he doesn’t see Julie wearing the match to the one she keeps.

Plus Carrie starts hanging out at their house again?? Out of the blue?? And none of the girls have a good explanation for how they made up??

Then later Nick Danforth-Evans (who Julie used to talk about having a crush on but hasn’t in a while) starts hanging around too and the kid seems... well, Ray doesn’t want to throw the word ‘traumatized’ around, but he’s jumpy and guarded in a way that can only be described as a little bit traumatized.

So all 5 kids are clearly keeping some secret and Ray’s getting suspicious and worried.

He sits them down and asks what’s going on. Like is one of them having problems at home, or..?

The kids, simultaneously:

Julie: no, we’re just all in a play together!

Carlos: we’re fine we’re just ghost hunting!

Flynn: we’re exhibiting bisexual-pansexual-lesbian solidarity!

Carrie: Julie and the Phantoms and Dirty Candi are doing a collaboration album!

Nick: we all joined jazz band??

Ray’s calling bullshit at this point.

Then Julie and Nick both look up directly at the same spot, somewhere a couple feet above the arm of the couch, which is seemingly just empty air.

Whatever it is, it doesn’t seem like the other kids can see it but they all seem to be waiting for something and Ray is wondering if they’re sharing a hallucination??? Are they all on drugs??? Should he be worried???

Then Julie says to meet them in the studio in 30 minutes. Flynn, Carrie, and Nick go home to give the Molina family some alone time.

*cue music performance where Ray is introduced to the boys*

So anyway Julie and Carlos (with the help of the ghosts whenever one of them has something to say and grabs Julie’s hand) give him a clearly-sugarcoated version of the last few months.

Ghosts of Trevor’s dead bandmates help Julie reconnect with music, they form a band, they meet another ghost, other ghost accidentally gets them involved with evil magician ghost, Nick got possessed, Carrie figured it out and helped plot to get him un-possessed, evil magician ghost is still out there and they’re sticking together so he can’t get any of them in the future.

Despite how they say it like it’s no big deal, Ray now understands why the kids have been acting so weird because all these things sound scary and painful.

Also the more he thinks about it, the more he worries about the fact that he has three 17-year-old boys sleeping in his garage who died terribly of food poisoning.

They are children and they died incredibly painfully and then almost got enslaved and/or erased from existence.

Then one day Ray’s feeling one of those presences around the house again and he realizes it’s probably one of Julie’s ghost boys.

Ray: who’s there?

Whoever it is freaks out and leaves, and Ray takes notes for next time.

The next time he feels someone in the room, he has a notepad ready and he writes down “Luke, Alex, or Reggie?” from what he remembers from Julie’s introductions.

Immediately, there’s a spike of anxiety in the room.

Ray: it’s okay. You can stay and we don’t have to talk if you don’t want to. I’d like to know who it is I’m not talking to though.

There’s a few seconds of hesitation, and then the pen picks itself up and the name “Reggie” gets circled.

Ray: the bassist with the flannels, right?

Yeah, written in a teenage boy’s messy scrawl.

Ray: okay, do you want to watch a movie?

More hesitation, and Ray’s not sure what that’s about but he’s starting to suspect with the amount of fear still in the room, and there’s a good 20 seconds where Reggie doesn’t respond before I don’t know.

Ray: Moana or Tangled? Moana.

After that, he takes a page out of Carlos’s book and gets a small whiteboard with 3 pens that stick to it magnetically. Red for Reggie, blue for Luke, and pink for Alex.

Reggie has written conversations with him most, but Luke does sometimes too and Alex does least often but he’ll still request a movie occasionally.

All of them are wary around him and Ray doesn’t quite know what to do to earn their trust. But he asks questions about their preferences on things. He says they did good on their latest show. He remembers which movies are their favorites and introduces them to music he thinks are their styles.

Luke is a big fan of Fall Out Boy and Reggie fucking loves Taylor Swift.

Alex is less consistent but occasionally Ray will play a song and he’ll write something like This is a cool song.

He starts to be able to tell which energy is which even before they write who it is right around the time the boys start to be visible for longer and longer after playing.

They play a really good show and stay visible for like 2 full days and that’s the first (but not the last) time Ray really gets to get to know them.

He starts noticing after really good shows like that one how even more now that they can be seen, they’re all a little... off from how Nick and Carrie and Flynn act around him.

With Luke it’s mostly because he’s trying so hard to impress because *gasp* he and Julie are a thing but there’s still a little bit of tension that seems like it comes from something deeper than just being nervous around his girlfriend’s dad.

With Reggie it’s subtle caution. Like he’s happy to be hanging out with Ray but he’s constantly ready for something to go wrong. There’s a catch in his smile, a hesitation before he states an opinion, a practiced carefulness where he changes the subject at any sign of even mild frustration.

But with Alex... it’s mostly just avoidance. Like if he poofs in while visible and it just so happens that no one else is there, he’ll find an excuse to leave.

And Ray lets him, of course. He doesn’t want the kid to feel trapped. But all of the boys’ behavior bothers him.

On the rare occasion they spend more than 2 seconds together Alex is really quiet. He won’t admit if Ray guessed wrong about a song and he doesn’t like it even though his body language makes it clear he’s not vibing with it. Actually, his body language pretty much just spells I am very uncomfortable in every situation where Julie or Carlos went to the bathroom or someone went to grab a snack and they’re alone even for 5 minutes while he’s visible.

Ray’s not stupid. He knows three 17-year-olds don’t end up getting their instruments left to their only living bandmate’s new best friend’s family by having good relationships with their own families.

He doesn’t exactly want to bring it up, but he kind of knows.

Then one day he’s sitting with all 3 boys watching a movie while he fixes something on his camera and Julie and Carlos are at school and he messes up a little part that means he has to start over (don’t @ me I know nothing about cameras) and swears out of frustration louder than he meant to.

He reaches for the screwdriver on the coffee table and

And Reggie and Alex both flinch.

Ray hadn’t even noticed they were tracking his movements, but while Luke seems to just have moved his focus from the TV to his friends in concern, Alex and Reggie both look too tense to play it off.

He figures its as good a time as any to have a chat cause these boys aren’t his sons but they don’t have anyone else acting as a parent figure to them and he feels the need to take care of them. He pauses the movie.

Ray: Can we have a talk? About you boy’s families?

Naturally Luke jumps in to try to distract him immediately, telling a story about his dad taking him fishing once, but he stops when Ray asks him to stop.

Ray: That’s not what I’m talking about and I think you all know it.

The boys are all still silent. Luke looks 500% ready to deflect again. Reggie and Alex look more like they’re expecting to get yelled at or worse.

Ray: I just want to help. I’ll drop it if you want me to but I want you to know that I would never do something to hurt any of you intentionally. You can talk to me about anything if you need to.

He means to make it an option of ‘you can talk but you don’t have to if you don’t want to,’ but the boys clearly don’t take it as such with how Luke starts talking immediately.

Luke: I ran away when I was 17. My mom and dad didn’t want me to stay in Sunset Curve, I think they thought it was going to get me into drugs or something.

They have a short talk about parents having good intentions not equalling them being right to push Luke so hard they pushed him away and it’s okay to feel hurt by that and then press play on the movie again and Ray thinks he sees all 3 boys relax somewhat during that.

A couple weeks later Reggie comes in visible and hesitantly asks about watching this series he saw when Carlos was scrolling through Netflix once.

Mid-episode he blurts out

Reggie: I don’t want to look for my parents and I feel weird about that.

He rambles for a while about knowing he was lucky that his family had money and his mom and dad told him they loved him and stuff but also he remembers so many fights between them where he felt caught in the middle and it never ended well if he chose a side but there was no way to win because they’d both turn on him if he didn’t so it was just this constant balancing act to try to prevent fights in the first place.

Reggie: I felt like I was walking on a tightrope. Like, all the time. I tried so hard to keep them from getting mad at each other or at me. Only it never worked and it was always a question of when they were going to snap next and it was confusing cause one day we’d go to the zoo and everything would be fine and the next they’d yell at me and send me to bed without food.

He feels guilty for not wanting to put in the effort to find them because he’s pretty sure on some level they did love him but he doesn’t want to see them again.

And he doesn’t want to know if they even miss him at all because when he got older and the fighting got too intense he would sneak off to Luke’s or Bobby’s and no matter if he stayed away for an hour or a couple days they never seemed to notice he was gone.

Ray listens and a lot of things about Reggie start to make sense. How he’s so careful not to catch him in a bad mood. How he shuts down whenever anyone raises their voice. How he helps out so much in an effort to stay on Ray’s good side.

It’s a day and a half after the latest show so they can’t really hug but Ray does what he can to provide comfort and validate his feelings anyway because damn Reggie is a good kid and he didn’t deserve that.

Reggie and Luke get more comfortable with coming to him for meaningful chats, or even just to vent about whatever’s going on lately.

Eventually they seem to feel almost as comfortable with him as Julie and Carlos do so it kinda becomes a routine.

Like Julie will ask for cuddles when she’s sad about missing Rose or she’ll walk in and vent about Carrie and Flynn being so obvious about liking each other but somehow not realizing it’s mutual and she and Nick are 3rd wheeling and going insane.

Carlos will excitedly ramble about his latest baseball practice shenanigans for an hour but also sometimes ask for someone to watch old home movies or listen to old CDs from Rose and the Petal Pushers with him.

And that’s normal. That’s been Ray’s life since his kids started talking. But the thing is that it’s just as normal when

When Luke tells how he’s still angry about his music getting stolen because it feels like a part of him was taken away and he worked hard on those songs. Also one day he very shyly admits

Luke: I like Julie a lot.

Ray: I know, kiddo.

Luke: You’re not mad?

Ray: As long as you two make each other happy, no. I’m happy for you.

And it’s just as normal when Reggie talks about missing his little cousin Kelsi and wondering where she ended up only for them to look her up and find out she’s a major Broadway writer/director now oh my god— and also

Reggie: I think I like boys. Like boys are cute. But I know I’m not gay because girls are cute too and ugh it’s confusing it’s probably nothing I guess everybody goes through this.

Ray: Have you ever thought you might be bisexual?

Reggie: Bi-what-now?

Ray, already digging out his old flannels that he would have passed down to Julie except they’re too big for her: It’s okay to like both, kiddo.

All this is great of course. It’s great how Reggie and Luke aren’t afraid anymore and they feel validated and seen and listened to.

But months have passed and Ray notices how Alex remains separate. He still avoids Ray when he can and stays quiet and cautious when he can’t.

Like Ray still senses Alex around him sometimes but never right after a show when he’s visible. He doesn’t come to him with problems. He’ll stay and listen when Ray plays a song he thinks he’d like, but he still seems so cautious and Ray doesn’t know how to help.

He asks Luke one day while he’s introducing him to a Wicked bootleg if he’s done something specific to scare Alex away.

Luke gets this really dark look on his face and he just

Luke: Let’s just say that my parents didn’t do everything perfectly, but they’re saints compared to Alex’s.

Ray decides to drop it, but Luke wants to reassure him.

Luke: You haven’t done anything wrong. He’s just not very comfortable around most adults in general. It’s one thing when we’re invisible, but...

Ray: I just wish I could help.

Luke: You do help. But it took a while for Alex to trust me.

The conversation ends there because Luke starts getting really into Defying Gravity.

But then that night Julie comes in with a kind of out of character movie request so Ray thinks Luke talked to her.

Because Julie does not like most romcoms that aren’t musicals. She gets bored. But she requests Love, Simon anyway.

Ray kind of sees what she’s trying to do there because now that he’s thinking about it the boys haven’t really seen many things with queer rep. Especially not queer main characters.

And nobody’s really told him that Alex is gay but cmon he’s an elder bi. He has accurate gaydar so he can support his queer ducklings.

Despite how the boys all know being gay is more socially acceptable now (they found out about Nick’s dads and the girls gave them the ‘gay marriage is legal now’ talk) they still seem kind of baffled by how there’s an entire romcom centered around a gay boy and it did well.

From there Ray tries to find more movies and tv shows with canon queer representation.

And he keeps giving Alex space but also trying his best to show him that he’s not like his parents.

For a long time nothing changes beyond Luke and Reggie getting increasingly comfortable with him.

Well that’s not completely true actually cause Reggie starts tagging along to photo shoots and becomes Ray’s unofficial mostly invisible assistant.

Then the band plays an amazing show and the boys stay visible for a full week.

Around the middle of that week, Ray goes out to the garage to find Reggie and see if he wants to come on a photo shoot.

Reggie isn’t out there but Alex is.

And he’s crying. Hard.

He looks like he’s going to poof out when he sees Ray there but Ray’s already 100% ready to do exactly what he always does when he walks in on Julie or Carlos crying.

Ray: Alex. Hey, buddy, it’s okay. I’m here. It’s going to be okay.

Alex freezes and it breaks Ray’s heart how that kind of concern is clearly not what he’s expecting.

Ray: Are you okay with being touched?

Alex looks kind of like he’s in shock but he nods.

He clearly doesn’t really know what to do with it but he kind of melts into it when Ray hugs him and he just sobs on his shoulder.

When he’s stopped crying enough he starts rambling about how he’s been looking everywhere but he can’t find Willie.

At that point he’s basically having a panic attack so finding out what’s wrong takes a backseat compared to calming him down and Ray knows how to do that because he and Rose used to do that for Trevor all the time.

Ray: Alex, breathe. In for 4 counts, hold for 7, out for 8. Breathe with me.

It takes a couple minutes until Alex has calmed down enough, but once he does, Ray asks what’s wrong and what’s happening with Willie.

He only vaguely knows who Willie is from what he’s been told by the other kids but he knows he’s important to Alex.

So Alex takes a deep breath and explains that Caleb confronted him and basically said the boys had to join his house band or he would make sure he’d never see Willie again. And he doesn’t want to ask his family to sacrifice themselves for him but he doesn’t want to lose the boy he loves either.

Ray wants to throw hands but from what the kids have told him about Caleb, he has a better idea.

Ray: Here’s what we’re gonna do, buddy. Reggie said Caleb has this super catchy number, The Other Side of Hollywood?

Alex: Yeah?

Ray: How quickly do you think Luke and Julie could come up with an arrangement for you four to cover that and how desperate do you think Covington would be to make sure a video of that never gets published without crediting him?

Alex: :o

Spoiler alert: Julie and Luke, in collaboration with Carrie, can come up with an arrangement very quickly.

They do a private performance of it and film it and basically blackmail Caleb into letting Willie go.

Willie has an empty house that used to be his parents’ that he still considers his so he mostly crashes there if he needs to. Also he loves skating around so much that he never stays in one place for very long.

Julie can see him but she can’t make him visible so it’s a little odd but Ray gets an orange pen for him for the whiteboard and he finds skateboarding videos and stuff for when he visits.

They eventually figure out that he can be part of the magic by adding him to the band so they give him a tambourine and yay now Willie can be seen but that’s later.

The biggest immediate change to come out of all this is Alex.

He’s not afraid of Ray anymore for the most part (healing isn’t linear and he can’t help a few bad days) and he starts actually talking to him. Not about serious stuff but he’s talking. Mostly just rambling about how Willie makes him feel or how Luke and Reggie have been being annoying lately.

Then one day he comes in really nervous and says something about Reggie saying he talked to Ray about his parents.

And Ray confirms it and asks if there’s anything Alex needs to tell him.

Alex sits down and clearly he’s been holding this in for a long time and he just unloads how he came out to his parents because his youngest sister found his diary and he was scared she’d tell them. They didn’t react well and when he cried out of fear and frustration his father... gave him something to cry about.

His father did that a few more times, trying to ‘make him man up,’ and Alex never told his bandmates but he always knew they could see the bruises and that was why Bobby made it so clear his garage was open and his house was a safe place to run.

But Alex didn’t no matter how bad things got because he guessed some small part of him thought he deserved it but mostly it was about how his oldest sister dropped out of college and ghosted the family and Alex was the next-oldest so he felt responsible for protecting his younger sisters even if they both had learned behaviors from their parents and hated him.

Then that summer he found out his parents were planning on sending him away to some Christian camp where they’d ‘fix’ him.

Alex made it clear that he wouldn’t go and if they tried to make him he’d run away, but their ultimatum was that he couldn’t live under their roof if he was gay.

So he didn’t. And it was a situation somewhere between getting kicked out and running away, but he packed a bag and never went back.

He ran to Bobby’s house, he wrote a whole bunch of angry songs, and he tried not to think too much about how he understood why his older sister left and how he was doing the exact same thing to his younger sisters.

By the time he’s done explaining everything Ray’s trying not to cry but Alex is definitely already crying mostly out of anger.

Alex: I hated them all. I hated Molly for leaving me and I hated my mom for turning my little sisters against me and I hated my dad for hurting me and I even hated Anna and Josie for not standing by me and I just hated them all so much. I still do. And it is so stupid that I feel guilty for that because they were terrible to me and I was 16 and I didn’t deserve that but I do feel guilty for it because they’re my family and I hate them.

Ray doesn’t have much to say because damn this is heavy stuff but he assures him that after what he went through he has a right to hate his blood family.

Alex tells him awkwardly when he’s calmed down a bit that Luke is the only other person he’s ever told about all this, because after he ran away they dated for a few months before figuring out that they were better as friends.

Reggie and Bobby guessed parts of it and Julie probably has too but none of them have asked and Alex thinks he might tell Reggie and Julie someday if it ever comes up but he never did end up telling Bobby.

Ray assures him that he won’t tell anyone and also that he would never do that. He would never do anything to hurt Alex or the others on purpose.

He makes a silent promise that no one will ever hurt one of his kids like that again and if Caleb or anyone else ever tries, they will regret it.

But anyway on to happier matters.

Willie visits a lot and he’s a little skittish around Ray but he loosens up after he jokingly mentions one time that Willie and Alex are like the beginning of the Sk8ter Boy song.

Alex and Ray might be Denim Jacket Buddies but once Ray digs his old leather jacket out of the closet he becomes Leather Jacket Buddies with Reggie.

You’d think he has to tell Carlos and Reggie off the most for breaking things but he doesn’t. It’s Carlos and Luke.

Also Ray doesn’t consider himself an overprotective dad but Julie and Luke are not allowed to be alone in a room with the door closed.

Neither are Alex and Willie technically but it’s harder to enforce it when they’re both ghosts.

Lmao all the kids follow the rules anyway because they love Ray and he’s not being unreasonable.

He helps Julie in her plot to get Carrie and Flynn together and also he helps Nick plan how to make a move on that cute boy on his lacrosse team.

Because Nick loves his dads but they’re disaster gays. Neither of those men can properly flirt. They fell in love because of a baseball rivalry and Nick doesn’t trust their advice.

Pride month rolls around and Julie makes sure to book a big gig the day before the parade so the boys will be visible and tangible.

Trevor’s on tour and can’t get away and Flynn’s parents are working and Nick’s are busy too so Ray finds himself escorting this whole little gaggle of various queer ducklings to pride.

Carlos isn’t quite sure what he is yet so he’s just got a rainbow flag painted on his cheek and a shirt that says I love my bi sister on it.

Julie’s all decked out in the bi colors, complete with ribbons braided into her hair and a flag to use as a cape. She made the tutu herself and it took her hours but it turned out really good.

Luke’s got a tank top with the pan colors and a trans flag as a cape and also yknow face paint of course.

Reggie browsed thrift shops everywhere until he found a flannel in the bi colors and he’s got that along with pink purple and blue laces in his combat boots and what Ray is really hoping is temporary dye and not spray paint in his hair.

Alex has a rainbow shirt that matches Willie’s and matching bracelets with Flynn. Also he painted rainbow hearts on his cheeks and put a lot of effort into them and they look really symmetrical.

Willie’s of course matching shirts with Alex and also he has sparkly rainbow socks and a flag to use as a cape.

Carrie’s got a whole ensemble in the lesbian colors complete with a pride wig and also matching necklaces with Flynn.

Flynn’s matching colors with Carrie but more in her style with of course matching jewelry with the people closest to her. She’s got friendship bracelets corresponding to Alex and Julie.

Nick’s got a pan tshirt and a fedora with a ribbon in pink yellow and blue plus face paint cause all of them have face paint. Nothing too crazy.

Meanwhile Ray’s got a bi bandanna and one of those shirts that’s like Free Dad Hugs.

Plus everyone did each other’s nails with varying degrees of success the night before and Julie did Ray’s so they turned out good.

Nick’s lacrosse buddies and the rest of Dirty Candi are around somewhere but they didn’t ride in the same car so they’re not that relevant.

They party. Celebrate being alive. Idk I’ve never gotten to go to pride.

And afterwards they all go back to the Molina house and the couch isn’t really big enough for all of them but it’s okay it’s not like they know how to sit correctly anyway.

They all kind of pile together and cuddle and watch movies until Flynn and Nick’s parents can come pick them up.

And Ray just looks around and realizes that

Sure only 2 of them are his biologically

And 3 of the others have good parent(s) who are actively a part of their lives

The remaining 4 are technically dead

But he has 9 children and he’s totally fine with that.

Cause he’s Ray Molina: best dad ever.

Victoria’s head is going to explode when she finds out that not only is the Molina house really haunted, but he’s adopted the ghosts.

[shizzlinghotbrason]

ok so nearly everyone in the fandom is doing this and as sad as it is that we need to remind these simple things to people, I feel the need to talk about this too.

I won't make this too painfully long because I know y'all most likely already know this and I just wanna put out a basic list of shit you should always follow in the fandom. But for those who don't, a lot of fan content creators, be it artists or writers or just general fans trying to enjoy their time, have been leaving/quitting the fandom.

Why are they leaving, you ask? Toxicity. Toxicity nearly everywhere. People can't hold respectful debates or discourses on interesting topics regarding characters/the books/ships anymore without someone toxicly stating that only their opinion is correct, and going off on anyone who has different opinions carried with a lot of aggressive, rude and shallow behaviour. Fanartists have gotten death threats and are scared of drawing art for the Riordanverse without getting anxious af.

Now the thing is, having done those (eXcepT for the death threats) doesn't automatically make u an entirely shitty person. Maybe you made a mistake and came off as rude without rlly meaning to. That's okay. Here's how to identify if u ever did so, and to change that behaviour. Again, it's okay to make mistakes, but we rn as a fandom srsly need to try to turn things around.

Some basic shit you should remember being a part of the fandom:

• NO NSFW STUFF WITH MINORS!!! That means fanarts, fanfics etc. But here's the shocking thing- when someone does this, you can actually hold them accountable WITHOUT SENDING DEATH THREATS AND CROSSING THE BOUNDARIES! Cuz doing that only makes YOU stoop just as low. Pl e a s e remember that always and be respectful whatever you do.

• That being said, ppl are allowed to write nsfw stuff IF said characters are aged up, aka 18+. Ofc, it's a must that they put a content warning beforehand because many people may not want to read that. BUT, if you don't want to read it and if they've aged up the characters so nothing's morally wrong or gross, then please do NOT hate the author in the comments, do NOT report their post/account. Seriously dude, they gave warnings, if you don't want to read it just scroll past it's not that hard. Unless it's with minors, you shouldn't be reporting innocent ppl's accounts like that.

• one thing that I've seen a lack of in the fandom are trigger warnings. I've seen several fics whose covers are literally of blood. And entire chapters were written with intricate graphic descriptions yet with no trigger warnings or a tw wayyy down in the caption. you never know what may be triggering to someone if a lot of ppl see ur content but the least u can do is put trigger warnings on the most common stuff. I get that it may look aesthetically matching if it's a murder mystery sorta fic but isn't the well being of people more important?

• look I'm not saying you're not allowed to have opinions, but the problem is when you start treating your opinions like facts. I can't count the times I've seen someone state their opinion like it's facts and then trash on other's for having a different opinion. PEOPLE ARE ALLOWED TO HAVE DIFFERENT OPINIONS. Stop attacking people for liking Jason more than Percy or vice versa, there's no rule that you absolutely have to like one or the other, ppl can like who they want. When you're stating UR opinion, it would be nice if you used stuff like "I personally think that..." or "... that's just my opinion" because again, Ur opinion is just that, not a fact.

• if you can't have discourses or discussions about certain topics respectfully and nicely then don't have them. if someone's done nothing wrong but state their opinions and you don't like it, don't go attacking them. if you don't have anything good to say, shut up and just scroll past. it's not that hard. we don't need any more negativity in the fandom. If you feel like you're about to snap, mute or block the account you don't like and move on with life. But for the love of GOD don't go out of your way to be agresive or hateful to ppl. They have feelings too and run fan accounts for fun, not to get upset and hurt.

• when a fan account owner has made a post saying what they think of a certain topic, and you comment saying you think they're wrong and they reply that you didn't get the point of their post, then chances are you most probably actually did not understand what they were saying. when this happens, pls don't go on forcing ur opinion onto them as if you got what they meant when you didn't. Maybe next time when someone says you didn't get what they were saying, ask them nicely to explain it to you instead of going off like that?

• firstly, shame on you if you've ever run a hate account. just why? how much more negativity do you want to add? if you come across a hate account please please report it and block it and tell your friends to do the same. if you're targeted in a hate post, I'm so sorry, please know that they're shallow ppl just trying to make you feel shitty, you're dont have a trashy fan account; what they say is false and done purely to spite. report and block them.

• I know Rick has written a lot of racist bullcrap and hasn't batted an eye when we complained about them, but that still doesn't give you the right to send him death threats. Again, no death threats to anyone, yikes.

• don't use fanart that's racist. don't repost them either. Piper has feathers in it? don't repost it. also if you can't exactly and properly credit artists, don't repost their art saying "credits to the artist". I've done that before too but now I understand that's not right.

• also, while we're at it, can we all please universally agree on non-racist fanon stuff and get rid of racist canon stuff? like Piper and feathers, and piper & hazel with colourful and golden eyes, Piper's stupid not like other girls behaviour, and all the other bullshit Rick has put into the books. We as a fandom don't accept it and pretend they do not exist, no racism in this place 🥰‼️

• ppl are allowed to have their own headcannons, it doesn't matter what's cannon. Don't go "but in the books it's.." because in the books there's a lot of shit, and besides, if someone wants to headcannon Percy as brown? black? totally alright! they're allowed to do so! don't go bUt pErCy iSnT pOc iN tHe bOoKs. same goes with sexualities and etc headcannons. as long as they're not erasing the already representation of a minority, it's okay to have headcannons of your own. Like Hazel is canonically black and we should respect that and bring out the best of that, yk what I mean?

That's all I have to say for now. I'm usually a very light-hearted cursed meme account on here but things are getting out of hand. I was wanting to make my 8 yr old brother get into the Riordanverse fandom but seeing the situation of the fandom rn scares me. We need to think about the kids in the future who'll be in this fandom, whose lives will be changed and shaped by these books. Surely, the older people in the fandom before us would be utterly disappointed at what it's become and it's our job to constantly look out for the fandom.

If you're leaving/have left the fandom, I'm so sorry that it got to that point, but ur wellbeing comes first, do what you feel is necessary to feel better, all of us send lots of positive vibes towards your way! and to the peeps who've still decided to stay in the fandom and use their account to talk about this issue, I cannot express how thankful I am of you for doing such an important thing right now. And to everyone - as Harry Styles once said - treat people with kindness.

[bunnyramen]

IFHY

Bakugou picked the scissors out from his desk, still haven’t used them even though they were on the supplies list.

They were still sharp. Maybe a bit too sharp.

But he didn’t care, this stupid string on his finger felt tighter and tighter everyday and seemed to glow brighter by the minute.

He couldn’t sleep at night, it was so bright and when he closed his eyes he could still see it.

It was cutting off the circulation of his ring finger, like it was trying to tell him something.

But he couldn’t put his finger on what it was though.

All he knew is he wanted it off.

He knew the consequences, your soulmate could die or your soulmate could go blind and they would never be able to find their way to you.

Even thinking about cutting it off could lead to catastrophe.

But he just couldn’t seem to care anymore.

Why, you may ask?

Because he already had fallen in love with someone else, a certain dumb ass redhead who seemed to make flowers grow and people smile wherever he went, at least that’s what he saw.

Kirishima didn’t seem to think the same way even when others would say it over and over again.

And the boy that had captured his heart and wouldn’t give it back, sat just a few rows ahead of him, unaware of any sort of stupid ass hex he put on Bakugou.

And whoever the fuck he was attached to would just hold him back.

Bakugo was practically sweating, putting the end of the string on the middle of the scissors, bringing them down on the string with a mighty “SNIP!”

Then he heard this noise from in front of him, and he looked up, seeing it was coming from Kirishima, or rather his mouth.

It sounded like he was screaming? But very silently.

“Kirishima? Are you okay?” Mina shook his shoulder, the boy falling out of his chair and onto the floor.

Many of his fellow classmates stood up quickly, Mina being the first to rush to Kirishima’s side.

Bakugou was the second, kneeling down next to him and going ghostly white when he saw the state of him.

Pink tears seemed to be coming from his unblinking eyes, his eyes themselves for were a dark red, almost empty looking if it weren’t for the light.

“Aizawa-Sensei!” Mina cried, voice cracking from the sobs that threatened to break it in two.

Aizawa pushed his way through the crowd quickly, depositing himself neck to Kirishima’s limp form. He grabbed Kirishima’s hand, where the strings was located and followed it, until he got the end.

The cut end.

Bakugou looked at his hand, seeing that his cut end matched Kirishima’s.

His heart dropped to the pit of his stomach, feeling closed in with all the people crowded together around the four of them, all whispering, or crying, or both.

They knew.

“Iida, take Kirishima to Recovery Girl. Well meet you there.” Aizawa stood up and out of the class president’s way, Mina doing the same but Bakugou was still stuck to his spot.

“Yes, Aizawa-Sensei!” Iida picked Kirishima up gently into a princess carry, the tears flowing from his eyes staining Iida’s clothes.

The class moved out of the way, Tsuyu opening the door for Iida to make a quick getaway. In a matter of moments and bit of smoke, he was gone.

A beat passed before the entire class rushed out in the halls in haste to follow Iida to Recovery’s girl’s.

Aizawa was about to make his way there when he saw Bakugou still rooted to his spot, having not moved, his hand still on the cut end of the string attached to his finger.

“Bakugo-��� Aizawa but the blonde spoke up first, cutting him off.

“What have I done?” His voice was so small, unlike the cocky, boisterous voice Aizawa grew to tolerate from his loud student.

“Kid, it’s not your fault.” He knelt in front of Bakugou, putting a hand on his shoulder.

“You seriously can’t sit here and tell me that it wasn’t my fault!” Bakugou lifted up the cut wire to Aizawa’s face, his hand shaking so much that he almost dropped it.

“You didn’t know, kid.” Aizawa’s hand on his shoulder got a bit tighter, willing to squeeze some sense into him.

“Yet It still got him hurt! I hurt him! Me! I have no one else but me to blame!” Bakugou did something that was unexpected, enrapturing Aizawa into a hug, holding on tighter than ever.

The stoic teacher really didn’t know how to respond, never having seen the blonde reach out to.. well anyone.

He wrapped his arms around the boy, giving him a slightly awkward pat on the back.

“I think he would understand, kid. He always has.” Bakugou nodded against shoulder before pushing him away a bit.

“This hug? Never happened.”

“What hug?” Aizawa said seriously.

Bakugou nodded in respect, standing up a bit wobbly on his feet, giving Aizawa a hand.

They headed out, practically running since they were already a few minutes behind.

——-

When they arrived, much of the class sat in the waiting room, they wouldn’t all be able to fit into the room.

Midoriya mumbled to himself, Todoroki and Iida were both holding his hand.

Ochako and Tsuyu were huddled together in a sort of side hug, Ochako’s head leaning on Tsuyu’s. Their string was wrapped around them, holding them together.

The others were either huddled or doing their own thing, the atmosphere in the room becoming a bit stifled.

He walked into Recovery Girl’s room, the main squad of his sitting around the boy’s unconscious form with grim looks.

His eyes were closed now, but his eyes were still leaking pink tears, they put paper towels under him. But he looked peaceful, beautiful in fact as the tears sparkled when they ran past his eyelashes.

“Well it’s not looking good for him. Luckily it didn’t kill him immediately like some cases.” Recovery girl turned around in her chair towards Bakugou with the help of her cane.

“But he’s still stuck in a limbo sort of space in his mind, the pink tears are just a side effect of the cutting of your string.” She pointed at the limp string hanging from Bakugou’s hand.

“Well, how do I fix it?” Bakugou piped up.

“Well, the only way I’ve seen for such a case is to replace thread but that’s only if the soulmates share mutual love for each other.” She pulled out a large spool of red thread from her pocket.

“Well, we have to try! Otherwise, he could stay like this forever.” Saying that brought another onslaught of tears to Mina’s eyes, Jirou hugged her tight, Kaminari and Sero joining.

“It seems to me that you love Kirishima, is that correct?” Recover Girl grabbed scissors and cut a good distance sized piece.

“Yes, I do.” Bakugou was comfortable letting everyone know that he loved the redhead, beck, they all loved him.

If the circumstances were different, he probably would’ve never said anything and took it to his grave. But right now what the time for that.

“Then it’s all up to Kirishima then.” She tied a knot around Bakugou’s finger and walked over to tie it around Kirishima’s finger.

Almost instantly, a slight golden glow started to come from middle of the string, as if it was mending the broken bond.

“Huh, imagine if Kirishima didn’t love Blasty. Then he would be in big trouble.” Kaminari laughed, trying to lighten the mood.

Just then the glow stopped abruptly, Kaminari’s eyes went wide as he made a face that spoke of “oh fuck” vibes.

Mina gave him a slap in the back of the head, “you jinxed it!”

Bakugou walked over and grabbed Kirishima’s hand, intertwining their fingers.

Kirishima sat up with a gasp, looking around scared, startling everyone in the room.

His eyes were back to normal, one red and one white as snow.

“What are you guys doing here? It’s not for school yet, is it?” Kirishima wiped away the tears as if he didn’t notice them.

“Another side effect of cutting the string, memory loss. Fortunately, it seems it only erased all of today but I’m not sure.” Recovery Girl was relieved.

“Kirishima, what was the last thing you remember doing?” Mina asked.

“The last thing I remember is going to visit my family and then coming back since we had school the next day.” Kirishima looked like he was struggling to even remember that.

“Ok, that was like almost a week and a half ago. Luckily not much has happened in that time span but you’re probably gonna need to relearn a lot of lessons from class.” Jirou patted him on the back as Kirishima looked like he wanted to go back into that coma.

“If I may ask, did you see anything while you were asleep?” Kaminari was curious, and with the way the others looked, they were just as curious themselves.

“I’m not sure what was happening because all I could was bright swirling colors and then you showed up.” Kirishima pointed at Denki, “and then you started screaming really loud and your skin like melted off and it was just your skull.” Kirishima smiled as if it was a fond memory.

“I would share more but, it would be way too graphic since it got more terrifying as time went on.” The boy shivered thinking about it.

“But anyways, how did I even get here? And why was in some hell purgatory or some shit?”

Bakugou looked guilty, looking nervously off to the side before speaking up.

“I cut the string. I wanted to be with you and I figured the person I was with would hold me back, so I cut it. I didn’t know that I cut off the person I wanted the most.”

Bakugou raised his hand in the air, pulling Kirishima’s hand with it, showing him they were attached, though it felt more like a handcuff than a string now.

“We’re soulmates?” Kirishima’s eyes warbled with tears, the whites of his eyes becoming a bit pink in color.

“I understand if I’m not the person you wanted to be attached to-“ Bakugou was tackled onto the ground by Kirishima, his back hitting the floor with a light thud.

“Woah! Maybe we should give them a bit of privacy?” Mina whispered, ushering everyone out of the room, Recovery Girl following them.

“Don’t mess up any of my things.” She warned as she left.

Bakugou doesn’t know he went from being a sad sack to having a lap full of the boy, dare he say it, of his dreams.

“I’m surprised that you want me too, you know?” Bakugou looked up at the boy, who’s smile faltered.

“Why wouldn’t I want you? Yeah, you may not be the nicest person at times but I’ve seen you, the you that’s under all those bricks and stuff. And it’s pretty bright, nearly blinded me the first time I saw it “. A pink tear escape one of Kirishima’s eyes, falling into Bakugou’s face.

The blonde rubbed his thumbs under Kirishima’s eyes, trying to wipe his tears.

And for the first time that day, Bakugou showed off his teeth with a bright smile.

💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕

@leal-5 They gave me a good idea and decided to write it (the prompt is theirs)

“Soulmates au but if you cut your string, the person it’s attached to could die”

[glaivenoct]

Lover, Fighter Ch. 3

Words: 3,220 Summary: In the cages he’s The Prince. At home he’s just Noct. (ao3) if you’d like to drop some thoughts over there as well. It’s always appreciated~

Noct’s more annoyed than he is surprised to wake up in pain. It’s his back of course. There’s sharp, aching spurts prodding at the small of it. He turns on his side with a grimace to relieve some of the pressure. It helps, but not enough for him to drift peacefully back to sleep. He sighs through his nose and groans into his pillow.

The dumb, smug face of his opponent from last night peers into his thoughts. This is all his fault, the handsome asshole. Hero, they called him. Please. Since when do heroes beat other people up?

The pain was much worse last night, yet his anger gave him enough willpower to ignore it and come through victorious. It was afterwards, when he stood with his fist raised in victory, Noctis was certain he would collapse at any moment.

Not once had his back acted up this way during a fight. Not once had being slammed into wires, poles and unsanitary floors caused such an episode.

Not once had he ever been so vulnerable in front of so many people.

He can’t recall the way he cried out, but he knows it was roaring enough to silence most of the crowd. It even stopped the esteemed hero in his tracks and Noctis can’t stand that fact. People can underestimate him all they want. They can take one look at him and think he’s weak.

They can never witness a true moment of weakness. Vulnerability surfacing from the cold, indestructible exterior of The Prince is unacceptable.

He supposes his victory erases that, but he’d be lying if he said there wasn’t a part of him that wants to go back and fix that moment. He’d punch that hero right in his face again too if only to sate the remnants of his spite.

The pain in his back now is tame compared to last night. That wouldn’t be the case if it weren’t for Gladio, ever at the ready to swoop in and nurse him back to normal.

“Noct?”

Speak of the infernian. Guess he didn’t imagine hearing the front door open earlier after all.

“M’up,” Noct mumbles at the half open doorway, voice raspy and still heavy with sleep. “I’m not happy about it, but I’m up.”

There’s rustling among Gladio’s steady footsteps. He pushes the door fully open, dressed in his favorite joggers and hoodie. Fresh from a run Noctis assumes, glancing at the plastic bag he holds at his side.

“Just as I thought,” he says, watching Noctis move slow to sit up. “You look like shit.”

“Thanks.” Noct doesn’t have the energy to glare at him. He’s too busy wincing at the stiffness in his back.

“Didn’t expect you to actually be up. It’s not even noon yet.”

“What,” Noctis nods to the bag “you planning to surprise me with breakfast in bed one of these days, big guy?”

Gladio snorts. “You wish.”

“You didn’t have to come back to check up on me you know.”

“Don’t be stupid. How’s your back?”

“Hurts.” He reaches around to rub the afflicted area. “Feels really stiff too.”

“Figures.” Gladio tosses the bag into his lap. “I got you a couple heating pads that should help, but not before you do some stretching. C’mon,” he pats Noct’s shoulder. “Out of bed. Slouching like that isn’t going to do you any favors.”

Noct groans again and rubs at one eye with his palm. “Can I get some coffee first?”

“There’s a cup from that café down the street with your name on it.”

He blinks up at him, disbelieving as if he were in the presence of a god. “I take back every bad thing I’ve ever said about you.”

“Sure you do.” He holds out a hand for Noct to take, grips it firmly and helps him stand. “Easy,” he says when Noct makes a discomforted noise. “Easy. You good?”

“Yeah… yeah, standing helps.”

Gladio stays behind him as they head into the living room. There’s an exercise mat already rolled out on the floor, between the dining table and the couch. The cup of coffee Gladio promised sits on the kitchen counter, and his name really is on it.

Ever at the ready to nurse Noct back to normal.

For as much as they might tease each other, Noctis would be lost without Gladio sometimes. A lot more impulsive. Definitely lonelier. How he hasn’t managed to push the guy away yet, Noct’ll never know. He’s grateful, and most of the time he’s at a loss of how to properly convey it.

He settles for a soft “thank you” as he drinks his coffee at the dining table. He gets halfway through it before he decides he’s awake enough to change into his own joggers and a comfy sweatshirt. Gladio has him doing warm-up stretches for five minutes, then tells him to lie flat on his back so they can work his lower abs. He watches from the couch, reminds Noct to start slow, to breathe in and out as he draws one knee at a time to his chest.

“Remember, minimum of six times on each leg. If your back starts hurting more at any point, stop.”

“I know. We’ve been through this a million times.”

“Yeah, as a precautionary. Not because you messed up your back in a fight.”

Noctis takes in a deeper breath as he draws his other knee in. His back’s always been the biggest point of contention when it came to the cage fights. It was the first protest Gladio had when Noct first told him about it. He’d even threatened to stop training him with the punching bags. It was all within good reason. Noct knows the injury he’d sustained as a child is never a matter to be taken lightly.

For the record, he never takes it lightly. He’s lived with it most of his life. Contrary to a certain hero’s perception of him, Noctis does know his physical limits. He’s gone through many fights before this one without causing any harm to his back. He’s never gone into the ring without being mindful of it.

Last night was simply a misfortunate slip up. A one-time thing. A firm reminder to Noctis to be more vigilant next time.

“I’ll be okay, Gladio. I always am.”

“Remember what I told you before your first fight?”

“You won’t be reckless. You’ll take this seriously and you’ll take care of your back. You’ll train for every fight. You’ll never accept a fight that’s more than you can handle. And so help me gods, if you so much as break a bone or collapse because of your back, you’re done.”

Noctis isn’t sure how Gladio intends to keep him from fighting if either of those things happen. Maybe he’ll tell Noctis’ father or Cor but… he is an adult that’s been away from home for some years now. No one can really make him stop if he doesn’t want to… but the last thing he wants to do is drive everyone mad with worry. He understands where Gladio’s coming from. He appreciates that the big guy looks out for him this much in the first place.

Noctis finally nods on a steady exhale as he lowers his leg away from his chest, resting his foot flat on the mat. “I didn’t collapse last night, though.”

“You’re lucky you didn’t. I was ready to march into that cage my damn self when I heard you scream.” He clenches a fist atop his knee and stares at a random point on the floor. Noctis looks his way and can’t tell if he’s angry, guilty, or both.

He never thought about that. About the fact that Gladio was there too, watching him writhe beneath his opponent and claw at the floor. Suddenly the thought of Gladio feeling guilty over that makes him feel guilty. That… that was probably terrible to watch. Infuriating, even. Sure, Gladio witnessed time and time again what Noctis was capable of. Sure, he knows better than anyone that Noctis isn’t some fragile thing that can’t hold his own.

Gladio’s the one person who saw Noctis at his weakest. The one person who held out his hand and helped him rebuild himself.

But despite being there every step of his progress, he was still protective. Noct has himself to blame for that, doesn’t he? What, with all the stupid shit he’s done. Bad, impulsive decisions, his naivety and letting others walk all over him. Now the cage fights.

Noct’ll do better for the sake of his back and for Gladio.

“Defend my honor and take on the big, bad hero?” Noct smiles, hoping to steer away from the sorer topic. “I’d love to see that match.”

Gladio takes the bait and looks at Noct with a curious, crooked grin. “Think I could take him?”

“If I can, you can.”

“Bet he won’t chat me up the way he did with you, though.”

Noct tries not to laugh and ruin his intake of breath as he pulls his other leg to his chest again. “Please. He was just trying to get under my skin. That’s what anyone even remotely bigger than me does.”

“I dunno. He seemed pretty… enticed by you.”

“Enticed?” Noctis scoffs on an exhale.

“He unmistakably checked you out three different times when you were circling each other.”

Noctis laughs and shakes his head. “This isn’t the first time someone in the ring’s checked me out, y’know.”

“Oh, I know. I usually get bad vibes off those people, but I didn’t get that off him.”

That’s saying something given Gladio’s reads on people are rarely wrong. Noctis lowers his leg for the last time and sits up. “What did you get off him then?”

“Just that there’s more to him than meets the eye.”

That’s vague, but Noctis decides not to question it further. What does it matter to him anyway? It’s not like he’ll see the guy again. A shame, really. Noctis might’ve fantasized about punching him in the face earlier… might’ve really, really hated his guts last night for pretending he knew him, for every “pretty” and “little” comment that spilled from his mouth. Looking back now… he kind of liked the back and forth shit-talk.

He liked proving the hero’s initial judgements of him wrong. He liked seeing that moment of awe washing over those rugged features.

Seriously, what was that guy doing in the ring when he could easily be a supermodel? Though, his face might not look as photogenic today after that fight…

Shame. It’s been a while since a fight was this satisfying and thrilling. He certainly hopes the next will live up to it.

“You do realize now that you’ve dethroned one of their top guys people are going to line up to take you on, right?” There’s more concern hiding behind the warning in Gladio’s words. He grabs the bag he gave Noctis earlier and pulls one of the boxes of heating pads out.

“I know.” Noctis watches him pick at the tape on the box.

“People that are bigger than the hero guy.”

Of course. Most of the crowd last night expected to watch Noctis get his ass handed to him. Other contenders would love to succeed where the infamous hero fell short. Would love to make Noct regret ever daring to ask for a challenge. As much as he loves the thrill of his own spite and adrenaline, pouring everything he’s got into proving people wrong, he has no intentions of agreeing to every fight.

“I know. I’ll be ready.”

“Noct.” He doesn’t need to ask the question aloud for Noct to hear it. He can see it clear in the solemn amber of his friend’s eyes.

“I’ll be careful. I promise.”

Gladio holds his gaze for a moment longer before he seemingly accepts Noct’s sincerity with a nod. They move on into the next exercise from there, which only takes another minute or so. Strengthening the deeper abdominals, Gladio calls it. It puts Noct flat on his back again, knees bent and apart. Four times he takes in a deep breath and draws his navel in towards his spine. He holds the small contraction until Gladio’s done counting him down from ten, then relazes as he breathes out.

It’s reminiscent of a few exercises he used to do in physical therapy. Something about strengthening his deeper muscles to provide more support to his back. It doesn’t cure the pain, but he finds his back feels less sore. Noct’s rewarded with one of the heating pads by the end of it.

Now this – this dulls the brunt of his pain. Noct melts into the soothing warmth of it, releasing a content little sigh as he settles into a chair at the dining table.

“You call out of work like I so wisely suggested?” Gladio asks, approaching him with a water bottle.

“Yeah, Mom. I called last night after you left.” He yelps when there’s a hand on his head mussing up his air and playfully shoving him forward. “Hey, quit it!”

Gladio relents with an amused grin, setting the bottle down and sitting in the chair next to him. “Save the Mom comments for Iggy.”

Noctis blinks at the name, flinches almost as if he’s been struck by Ramuh himself. For a moment, he was ready to agree with that. Ready to pretend that it was something he could follow through on. As if sometime soon Ignis would come through the door and do something to constitute such a comment.

As if Noctis was lucky enough to have salvaged what was left of their friendship, relieving Gladio of maintaining separate ones between them. Noctis hopes he looks down into his lap fast enough to hide the wistful flicker in his eyes.

“Sorry.” Gladio rubs he back of his neck. “I… talked to him recently.”

They talk often. Noctis knows they do. It doesn’t bother him. “How’s he doing?”

“Good. Sounds like Tenebrae’s serving his culinary fantasies well.”

“That’s good.”

“He mentioned plans to come down and visit in a few months. Asked about you too.”

“Oh…” He’s not sure what else to say, or where to even look. He settles for reading the nutrition facts on his water bottle.

“I didn’t tell him about the fights, obviously. Can’t imagine he’d be happy finding out about them.”

He shrugs. “It’s not like he’d be obligated to care.”

“Noct…” he can’t bear the sympathy in Gladio’s force. Nor the pitiful look he can feel burning a hole through him. He’s still on the fence about whether he deserves it or not. “This isn’t the first time Iggy’s asked about you. Especially since… you know.”

Oh, Noctis knows. He knows all too well. The one thing that drove the wedge between him and Ignis in the first place has been absent from Noct’s life for some time now. He just hasn’t found himself brave enough to reach out and mend the bridge he was responsible for allowing to break.

“Iggy’s never held anything against you for what happened, Noct. Not ever.”

“I’ve got a list of reasons why he should hold everything against me, but you already know them.”

“I want you to consider meeting up with him when he comes down. Clear the air between you two once and for all.”

Noctis says nothing. He rests his chin in his palm and looks off into the kitchen. This time it’s Gladio’s frustration burning a hole in him. He hears him taking a deep breath to keep himself calm.

“Noct, what have these past months been about? What did I tell you I was going to help you do?”

Be better. Stronger. Heal. Noctis wants to shudder just thinking back to the moment – holding in everything, being so used to dismissing his own feelings, of assuming everything that went wrong was his own fault. All until the moment Gladio found him a broken mess and told him “You’re better than this. You can do better and I’m going to help you if you’ll let me. You deserve better.”

At that time, Noctis didn’t agree, but that’s another thing the past months have been about. Recognizing that past choices don’t define who he can grow to be. Learning to forgive and love himself more. He’s in a much better place than he was months ago, but there’s still moments where his doubts falter him.

“Noct.”

“What?” it comes out harsher than he means for it to, but Gladio doesn’t appear to be angry or disappointed in him.

“Doing this would be good for you,” he says calm, but firm. “I know you know that. At least think about it.”

Noct fiddles his thumbs into his sleeves, attention skittering back down to his water bottle. He does have a few months to think on it, and maybe in a few months he’ll be even more pleased with his self-improvement. Reaching back out to the ones he pushed away has always been part of that plan anyway…

“Fine.”

“Fine?”

“Fine, I’ll think about it. I promise.”

Gladio nods at him, a smile touching his lips. “Good. How’s your back?”

“Better. The pads really help. Thanks for them.”

“No problem. Since I let you skip out on running this morning, you up to go for a walk? I could go for a breakfast burrito.”

Noct makes an almost sinful noise and slouches his cheek against his palm. “Gods, that sounds amazing right now.” He stands up from his chair, quickly pocketing his phone. “Let me get my shoes.”

His phone’s going off as soon as he turns around. He pulls his phone back out from his pocket to see a text waiting for him. He’s halfway back to his room, nearly disappearing into the hall before he pauses in his steps to read the message properly.

“No way.” He almost laughs, eyes roaming over the message again to make sure he didn’t read it wrong.

Gladio crosses his arms and stares at him. Noct can see that inner conflict going on his head. He knows Gladio questions all the time whether or not letting him indulge in these fights is wrong on his part. If he should put more effort into getting him to quit.

Noctis also knows that Gladio trusts his judgement despite his murky past. When he says he’ll be careful, he means it.

“A couple days,” Gladio repeats, pointing at him. “You take it easy and double the stretches. I mean it.”

“I know. I will.”

Gladio sighs and shakes his head. “Wish I could get you this confident about talking to Iggy. Why are you so eager to fight this guy again anyway?”

Noct shrugs. “I might’ve kicked his ass, but he’s still a good fighter. I like giving him a run for his money.”

“You sure it’s not all the flirty shit-talk you like?”

“Shut up.”

Gladio laughs to himself. “So you going to message the guy back, or what?”

“Think I’ll wait till I’m positive my back’s better. Let the hero sit in suspense for a few days.”

“Why’s that?”

“He called me pretty. Twice.”

That’s all the explanation Gladio needs to wince and wrinkle his nose in legitimate concern for the hero.

[cutiecrates]

Cutie Reviews: Doki Doki Sept 18

Hi guys, here’s the (possibly) long-awaited Doki Doki September review that I probably should have done earlier this past week or two... or three. It kind of got put off, plus I got a new game and a new book I was excited about, and there was a hospital-related incident and some back pains...

Anyway I don’t have much else to say right now so we’ll just get right into it!

This months theme: First Day of School

As the weather gets cooler and we return from our summer vacations, we have to get back into the swing of things. This month’s theme is “Shin-gakki” or First Day of School. This crate is full of items to make school, or the workplace for those out of school, cute and fun!

For this month the Suteki Crate focuses on several practical Sanrio based character goods, namely My Melody, Sumikko Gurashi, and Jinbesan. I approve!

(As usual I forgot the picture until I started writing this.)

I love the adorable pen pouch and memo pen, what about you guys? :3

(Also as a side note, in the comic for the month we’re introduced to a new boy character, Hibiki Shinosuke, who finds out first-hand why Tomomi is avoided in class. He’s really funny, so I hope we see more of him~)

Sumikko Gurashi Pen Case

Our first item is this slim and adorably designed pen/pencil/other small stationery item case. It features the Sumikko Gurashi trying various school clubs, besides the tennis one I got there is also soccer, volleyball, soft ball, music, and basketball.

Besides the music one, I’m pretty happy I got this one because I like tennis. But they all would have been really cute, so I wouldn't have been disappointed either way.

These are also double sided, providing 100% cuteness on both sides!

It’s also made to be discrete while safely snuggling the inner-contents; which means you could probably also use this on a daily basis if you didn’t attend school anymore or was going out for the day. They are on the small side so there are a handful of items that probably won’t fit, but there is also a variety of items that will.

I pretty much use it and the one I got last year (or maybe the year before?) to hold all the pens and pencils I get from these boxes!

Rating: ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ 

I really like these x3 not only are they cute, but they are functional, well-made, and I like how they’re sleek and slim with a very smooth cloth fabric, rather than bulky and hard, which were the types of cases I had growing up when I attended school.

They were plastic which made them hard and fragile, and they got dirty fairly easy (but to be fair that was sometimes my fault), but I usually made them last until the school year ended. They came in handy due to their bigger size (I could fit some of everything school related in one) and I always had tons of coloring options, and I always found a pink one to buy each year... but I’m pretty sure my middle school self would have preferred these.

Jinbesan Folder

(Sorry the pics are kind of wonky, that’s what happens to a folder that’s been bent for a long period of time.)

Our next item is this large, colorful Jinbesan folder- which is pretty vital for pretty much everyone, no matter the grade. I know I had multiple each year, one for each subject like any other person.

There was a few different designs this was available in, and this one is also double-sided:

(Keep in mind it’s a lot brighter in person than in this picture)

Again, I’m pretty sure I would have loved to use these when I was younger; not that I don’t now though :P but I do have papers I can use it for now so it’s not like it’s going to go to waste... I just need to fix it’s bendiness first.

Rating: ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ 

This folder material is like a very sleek plastic (maybe vinyl? I don’t really know terms for these things >3<), so I like knowing that if it gets dirty then in theory it should be an easy clean. Prior to me opening the box it was already bent, but staying in the box so long didn’t help it, but that’s my own fault and I’m sure with enough weight I can flatten it again. At least this material can’t tear like paper folders.

Aggretsuko Plush Charm

Who doesn’t love Retsuko? She’s become extremely popular as of late, and as the booklet points out, it’s can be really easy to relate to her sometimes when dealing with school and work (it also helps if you like metal, I enjoy it a bit myself).

This is a plush charm that was available in either form, the cutesy work Retsuko and the released death metal one. I hope I don’t get hate over this, but I actually prefer her normal cutesy appearance; but I can still be appreciative over this one too.

Rating: ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥

It’s very soft and squishy, I’m really impressed that as small as this charm is (It’s smaller than most mug in terms of height) it has a lot of perfectly stitched quality. There’s no quality issues, even the little hair tufts on the ears feel soft and silky. The ball chain is also pretty nice too.

My Melody Onigiri Maker

Whether you make your own lunch or someone else does it, or if you just want a snack, it’s nice to have a cutesy element in some shape or form to make it feel all the more special~

This comes in 4 pieces to make the perfect My Melody onigiri (rice ball), as well as drawn and written details to help make it on the packaging; although it isn’t that hard to figure out just looking at it either.

Now as much as I love rice and try to test out food-based gadgets we get, I wasn’t able to do that with this one. I didn’t have the “supplies” and with the hectic things going on, I wasn’t really doing much in the kitchen lately. But I have seen several youtube videos about items like this so I recommend going there if you want to see more. 

Rating: ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ 

Whether I tested this out or not, I wouldn’t have had very much to say about it. You’ve seen one rice shaper you’ve seen them all, and I have tested previous ones I got and haven’t had any problems (besides the broken one I got like two years ago that they were supposed to be replace and never did).

I love cutesy looking food, even if they can take a bit more time to make, but food always seems to taste better when it’s personally worked on; it also helps to make picky-eaters a tiny bit less-picky :P if you like eating rice and would like to try these out, you can find a variety of them on Amazon.

Amuse Pen

You can’t have a school themed box without a writing utensil of some type. So here we are, at our last item. An adorable pastel pen featuring the popular brand Amuse and it’s original characters.

It’s a bit hard to see here, but I got Alpacasso x3 which is the reason I like this brand, since I always had a soft spot for llama and alpaca- I like that they’re so popular now because I can enjoy them more frequently!

Anyway, each pen comes in it’s own themed color, with matching colored ink. It also has a wonderful and relaxing scent, it smells exactly like an eraser I got in a prior school themed box. But I still can’t identify the scent more than being a light sweet fruit with a hint of baby powder or cotton candy.

It smells really good, trust me. 

Rating: ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ 

The pen quality is good, a tiny bit spotty but I think that was my fault for writing on the box rather than paper. Again it’s scented, and it has pretty sky blue ink, so I’m not sure it would be test or signature necessary friendly, but it’d be perfect for everything else!

Oh, also it isn’t a gel pen or fine tip, like what I usually prefer. But you know, I still really like it :3 I don’t have too many colored ink pens (unless you buy a really expensive pen or multi-ink ones, all we normally have are black, red, dark blue, and sometimes dark green) so I get excited when I can add to my collection.

In fact I pretty much stopped buying pens and stationery items from here because I get so many from these boxes.

♥ Cutie Ranking ♥

Content - 5 out of 5. I’m a teeny-tiny bit bugged by the folder, but that can easily be fixed so I’m not going to blame the box on that. I wasn’t amazed by the items or anything, but I liked them and I love getting to add to my pens and kitchen gadgets. They’re perfect for the time of year they were released and are very practical, so I completely approve!

Quality/Price - 5 out of 5. I’ll admit on terms of price I’m not sure where the box stands this month. The quality was excellent with each and every item, and because of them all being licensed I know that would probably make them costly depending on location. The problem with that is that where I live (and I’m sure in several other states/towns) school products are very cheap when school starts, and even throughout the year. So as much as I prefer cute items to plain ones... I’m not sure I’d go out of my way to spend triple times the amount just for a couple of them when I could use the same money to buy a lot of basic items. But to be fair I don’t know the prices of these things, it’s entirely possible they aren’t as expensive as I think.

Theme: 5 out of 5. Like last months, it’s extremely obvious even without the book. Every September they do a school themed box, but I like the consistency and I’m sure the other subscribers appreciate it too.

Total Rank: 15 out of 15 Cuties. When I first started this I wasn’t too sure how I felt about this box, it kind of gave me vibes from the previous one, where I enjoyed the items but I didn’t feel any sort of inspiration. I assume it stems from often getting “schoolish“ items in my other boxes, but at the same time I liked the concept of getting one box dedicated just to them. Plus I adore practicality considering how much gets spent on these and they have been doing pretty well with that!

♥ Cutie Scale ♥

1. Sumikko Gurashi Case - Again pastels and designs, but just looking at it makes me feel happy x3

2. Amuse Pen - I love it’s pale pastels and colorful design... but the clippy part of the pen’s top that you attach it to things with kind of blocks the image a teensy bit, which is kind of annoying to me. 

3. Jinbesan Folder - I love how it has two alternate designs and is so smooth and translucent. Any time I see something Jinbesan related, I really want to hug it. I feel so warm and comforted looking at it~

4. My Melody Onigiri Maker - As much as I love cute pinkness, that’s all there really is going for it. 

5. Aggretsuko Plush - ...It’s probably really obvious right?

Alrighty, that will be doing it with another review :3 I hope you found it enjoyable (I’d say informative but lets be real it isn’t), and because I didn’t get my April Gacha Gacha box yet, I will be moving on to our October boxes! I’m so excited, not only was October my birthday month, but it features spooky-kawaii items for Halloween~

Until next time, stay cute!

[subasekabang]

Title: Anything To Make you Stay, Chapter 8 Rating: T Word Count: Total: 15,761, chapter: 1,961 Characters: Joshua, Neku, Shiki, Eri, Beat, Rhyme, Hanekoma, Kariya, Uzuki. Pairings: Josh/Neku. Warnings: Suicide, Major Character Death, Depression, semi-detailed depiction of dead bodies, mentions of ableism, one minor allusion to transphobia Summary: Joshua and Neku have been best friends since they were 11, but their friendship starts to fall apart after Joshua goes missing for a week, soon after his 14th birthday. Lies corrode the bond, and Neku’s vivid nightmares of finding��someone’s dead body does not help. A year and a half later, they hit the boiling point. Always look before crossing the road, kiddos. Author’s Note: Autistic Josh and Neku! Afab demiboy Josh! Agender Rhyme! Usage of sign language! This was a fun fic to write please enjoy it.

Chapter 8:

They wake up at the Concert Stage, because of course they do. It’s pitch black, and Josh groans. He shouldn’t use his power to light the place up, that would be irresponsible. So when he and Neku get the mission mail, Josh takes the longer time limit as an excuse to drag Neku around and go shopping.

First stop, Lapin Angelique. He insists on paying for everything, it’s only polite, of course. And it lets him dress Neku up in stat-boosting gothic lolita clothes like he’s always wanted to.

“Josh, is this really necessary?” Neku asks, as he tries on the vampire dress.

“Yes, it absolutely is. This is a Game, and the stuff you equip will effect your stats. We’ll be taking what we can get right now.” He grins, paying for the Bunny Parka and throwing it on. “We should also probably be level grinding, fighting more Noise and whatnot, getting the drops.”

“Whoever thought that making this work like a video game was a good idea is out of their mind,” Neku says, and Josh snorts. Neku’s got a point, it’s not something anyone would reasonably expect from the Reaper’s Game.

“That’d be the Composer you’re talking about. Head honcho here in the UG. The Composer is tied intimately to the city, unable to be separated from it. The Composer is the god of the UG in which they are connected to. They’re the one that brings the Players who win back to life.” Josh buys two capes, putting one on and tossing the other to Neku, who frowns, but puts it on.

Josh grabs the lace-up dress, rolling his eyes at Neku’s scrunched up face as he slips into a changing room to put it on.

“We both look ridiculous and this is awful,” Neku says, when he comes back out.

“You’re just annoyed because I can rock it better than you.” Josh smirks, before turning back to Princess K and chatting with her a bit, purchasing at least one of every pin in stock, tossing them to Neku as they leave. “Here, you should have a use for all those. I don’t use pins. I channel the pysch through my phone, and drop shit on the Noise.”

Neku takes the pins tossed at him, and follows Josh out the store. “How in the world did you learn to do that?”

“Just felt natural, I guess. I input commands by tapping some buttons, and the stuff I summon falls out of the sky and hits them. It’s very satisfying to see happen.”

As Josh steps out the door, a girl runs into him, and she steps back and yelps. “Oh gosh! I’m so sorry! I didn’t see you there!” It only takes a glance at her to know who she is, Shiki Misaki, and the other girl behind her must be Eri. Joshua had hoped those two would Partner up, it’d let them settle some issues.

He shrugs. “No worries. I’m Josh, that’s Neku, my Partner. I’m assuming you two are Partners as well?” he asks, and hides his laugh as both of them look at him in surprise, jaw dropped and eyebrows raised. It’s bizarre, seeing two people with the same body do that.

“Are you two like, twins, or something?” Neku asks.

Shiki shakes her head. “No, no, we’re not. Just friends. I had some… Jealousy problems, my Fee was my appearance. I’m Shiki, by the way. Eri’s fee was her voice,” she says, and motions to the pad of paper and the pen in her friend’s hand. “We picked that up so she could have some way to say stuff.”

“Useful, if you don’t know sign language, I guess. Neku and I both know sign, which was handy yesterday when I went nonverbal.” Neku rolls his eyes at the repeat of the pun, and Josh just gives him a grin. He slides out of the way of the door, standing to the side with Neku while they speak to the girls.

“Ooh, maybe you could teach us sometime!” Shiki says, and Eri nods.

“I’m not opposed to that. Neku?” he asks, looking over at him.

“Sure, whatever. How about after the mission?” he says, and Josh rolls his eyes.

“Fine with me. Do you ladies know anything about it yet?” Josh asks.

Shiki shakes her head. “Not much. There’s some guys hanging around front of the concert stage, they’re from a band. Their tech is missing, said he went off to get fuses and should’ve been back by now.”

“Makes sense, it’s dark as hell in there,” Neku says. “If the fuses blew, then no wonder we can’t see anything. Maybe if we get the lights working again, we’ll find whatever we need to fight.”

“Let’s split up, we can share any discoveries we make with each other, and do more apart than we could together. There’s another pair of people running around, Beat and Rhyme, if you see them, be sure to fill them in,” Josh says, and with a few quick goodbyes they part ways.

It takes some running around, and they stop by Sunshine and Dragon Couture for some food and threads. It’s here that they also run into Beat and Rhyme again.

They swap notes. Rhyme tells them about memes and Imprinting, Neku tells them about the tech and getting the lights back on.

They’re about to part ways when Josh speaks up. “Hey, Beat, can I have a chat with you?” he asks.

Beat frowns, but nods. “Sure, whatchu want?”

Josh looks over at Neku and Rhyme. “You two wanna go try Imprinting some people? I promise I’m not trying to pull anything, there’s just something I want to talk about, and I’m sure once Beat knows the topic, he’ll agree that the conversation should be private.”

It takes a moment, but both Neku and Rhyme agree to give them a bit of privacy. Once they’ve gone, Beat turns to him. “What’s this about, yo?”

“Rhyme’s your sibling, aren’t they?” he asks, blunt. He’s never understood why people would dance around a subject.

A look of shock crosses Beat’s face, eyes wide. “How’d ya know?”

“Resemblance, matching skull motif,” Josh flashes a grin, but drops it as he moves on. It’s not the time for humor. “The way you reacted when Rhyme said Partner, like you were hoping for a different word to come out of their mouth. Entry Fees can be nasty things. Seeing the most important person in your world forget about you? That’s a special type of pain. A jab to the heart anytime they can’t connect the dots between the missing memories and you.”

Beat flinches. “Shuddup. You got no clue what it’s like yo.”

“I’ve known Neku since we were both 11, he remembers nothing from before the Game,” Joshua deadpans. “Your experiences are not unique, there are others going through the same stuff as you. Take comfort in that, and know that you are not alone in what you feel.”

Before Beat can reply, Josh walks off to go see how Neku and Rhyme are doing. Which is bothering a business man, apparently. They’ve both taken to Imprinting what they have on him. Josh cracks a smile, grabs Neku, and decides that it’s time to visit Dogenzaka.

They find the tech at Ramen Don, and send him on his way to get the fuse. Then it’s just a matter of waiting until the boss appears.

When the bat does, Neku and Josh hop into battle. He has some fun throwing objects, while Neku pummels the big boss with fire and lightning.

They have a bit of time to spare, but the timer hasn’t disappeared yet. It doesn’t, not until Beat and Rhyme appear from their battle with the small, golden bat.

Things go fuzzy after that.

They all wake up at 104, and Josh has a chance to appreciate the fact that he budgeted a lazy day. Get to Towa Records, no time limit.

It’s a bit of a blur. Shiki and Eri rope them all into a ton of shopping, and Josh can’t deny he had a part in that. He’s not being stingy, tossing out yen pins to everyone. It’s not a blur like day 2 was, it’s exciting, he can feel the pulse of the city beneath him as they all take turns between battles. The rhythm vibrates through him, the Music flowing around them all like the wind, and really, how could he ever want to stay on the higher vibes, when the rush, the thrill of the Game had adrenaline coursing through his system.

Throughout the day, Neku and Josh show off some sign language, teaching the others some basics. They aren’t bothering with grammar for now, just showing the signs for what they encounter.

The flow comes to a halting, cacophonous, stop as they arrive at Towa Records.

Instruments tumble over, unsure of whether to continue, as Rhyme pushes Beat out of the way of the shark trap.

Time slows.

Time stops.

Rhyme is halfway static as the world goes grayscale and freezes. Joshua takes measured steps to her side. A simple zap of power to the Swing Shark vaporizes it, the static flowing past them, back into ambient Shibuya, as he presses a hand to Rhyme’s forehead, pulling their Music back into one place, rebinding the body and Soul. He lets Rhyme shift into timeless space with him, and they look around first, panic evident, and then at him.

“What did you just do?”

Josh shrugs. “Erased the Noise, froze time to do it, reassembled you. You were almost shark bait.” He pauses, lets out a short laugh. “This is why Composers shouldn’t Play in their own Game, huh? Getting attached isn’t good when you need to be an impartial judge.”

Rhyme’s eyes widen, mouth dropping. “You? Composer? What?”

He smiles. “For about a year and a half now. I’ve always seen the UG. I’ve been friends with Neku since we were 11, became Composer a few days after my 14th birthday. He died after we got in an argument, he marched off and into the road. I… owe it to him, to keep him safe. Didn’t expect to be doing that for others, but I don’t think I’m gonna regret this.”

“Does he know?” they ask, and Josh shakes his head.

“No. I’m planning on telling him everything after we win the Game, but his Fee was his memories of me. Gotta get him those back, first. So I’d appreciate it if you could keep this secret for me.”

They mime the motion for zipping their lips, and nod. “I won’t tell anyone. You have my word.”

Josh smiles, falling back into place with the others. Their minds will accommodate, Rhyme was a near miss, the shark disappeared when it failed, things happened too fast for everyone’s brain to process. He snaps his fingers, and time resumes.

“RHYME!” Beat shouts, as he lands on the ground. He’s on his feet in seconds, ready to do whatever it takes to protect Rhyme, no doubt, but instead he finds them brushing off their knees, otherwise uninjured.

Shiki and Eri run forward, Eri signing [Are you okay?] as Shiki asks it, hands and voice messy with worry.

Neku hangs back, but an aborted yell hangs heavy on his lips, eyes wide. Josh takes a singular step forward, playing the part of surprised and worried friend.

There’s a lot of hugging and worrying over Rhyme, but Joshua looks beyond, at the Reaper who placed the trap. Uzuki looks annoyed, yes, with an eyebrow twitching and frown set on her face, but she’s eyeing him. She suspects his intervention, no doubt.

Kariya must have informed her of their previous Partnership.

[bts-dream-land-blog]

3years later

Word Count : 1661 words

Genre: Fluff

Member: Jungkook

                                                          oOo

SOPHOMORE YEAR SUMMER

“I’m sorry,” I try to find her eyes, but since they’re carefully focused on the ground, it’s not as easy. Being rejected was one of those things that hurt the most, but having to reject someone is twice as bad, well in my opinion.

There comes a short laugh from her, and she raises her head, her eyes locking with mine. The flash of hurt in her eyes, disappeared just as quick as a match in the wind. I try to reach for her wind my hands but she backs away, shaking her head. “I have to go,”

SENIOR YEAR SUMMER

There’s nothing better than watching the sky from an airplane. It gives you the satisfaction of being above everyone else without even doing anything. It was early, maybe six am, maybe seven, I didn’t have a clock on me and turning on the tv-screen that was built in the seat would cause my little sister to wake up.

To my surprise, I actually woke up earlier than everyone else on the airplane. I didn’t know if it was because I was hungry or if it was because the sun shone from the little gap from our window that we hadn’t completely shut. I was never the guy to sleep with light on in my room, in fact, just the smallest amount of light could wake me up from deep sleep. I hated sleeping in a warm and light room, it disturbed me.

I grabbed my phone from my pockets, hoping it hadn’t been crushed between my butt and my seat last night and luckily it didn’t. However, when I turned on my phone, the entire row lit up and I almost panicked because my sister shifted in her seat. Let me tell you, when she wakes up, she doesn’t stop talking. I mean, I love her and she’s adorable, but I think I like her better when she’s asleep.

I decreased the brightness on my phone screen and started scrolling through my phone when I realized I didn’t have wifi. 

No tv and no wifi?

Seeing that I had some free time, I decided to go through apps and delete those apps, pictures and things I didn’t need on my phone, just to make some space for some awesome pictures I’d be taking in Kuala Lumpur.

There wasn’t many songs I wanted to delete and I barely had any apps, so the next place was pictures and I had over four thousand pictures so this was going to take a while. I clicked the upper bar of my phone so my phone would direct me to the very top, something I’ve learned from watching “10 THINGS YOU PROBABLY DIDNT KNOW YOU COULD DO ON FACEBOOK”

There was a lot of pictures and for once, throughout the entire plane ride, I found myself smiling and laughing at memories. I didn’t realize how many pictures I had and how many pictures that could make my brain drift back to years ago. Suddenly my thumb scrolled over a picture of a girl. She was smiling to the camera, her hands looped through mine and smiling.

It was the last school day of school before summer break sophomore year. She looked younger, we both did. We were both wearing our uniforms, her hair behind her shoulders and a smile planted softly on her lips. Little did we both know that after this picture, we would drift away. We didn’t disconnect completely, but there wasn’t much talking to put it that way.

Last time I talked to her was three months ago and we discussed an assignment, but other than that, we barely spoke. I didn’t realize how much I actually missed her until I was scrolling through the pics of the two of us and one of the old couple next to me, smiled and nodded towards my phone, “Is she your girlfriend?”

“No,” I blurted out, a little to quickly.

“Do you like her?”

“Nah,”

The old man nodded, but not really buying it. “What is it?” I asked, curios. I already knew what he was going to say but I wanted him to confirm it.

“You don’t smile at your phone like that because of a picture, unless it’s someone special in the picture.”

And that’s how the question started racing through my brain.

Did I like her?

At the airport, in the cab, at the mall, at the store, in the bus, everywhere on the first week of vacation, I was thinking about her. Where was she? What was she doing? Did she think about me?

Does she still have feelings for me?

My mom noticed how I often kept drifting away and how I kept re-reading messages from ages ago.

“Are you going to tell her that you like her or should I?” When my mom asked me that question, I didn’t question myself if I did like her. Really? What guy would go around thinking about a girl for a whole week to the point where a complete stranger and his own mother would bring the subject up, and still deny the fact that he liked her?

Definitely not me.

Later that night, my mom, my sister and I had to move to another hotel because our hotels ventilation was acting up and all guests had to go to another place. It made me frustrated because we ended up at a hotel where their wifi was down, meaning I usually didn’t have anything to at night. Mom came out of the bathroom while my little sister was sleeping and took a seat next to me on the bed. She smiled and stroked my chin.

Puzzled, I asked, “You good mom?”

“I’m sure she’s out there thinking about you too, sweetie.” I knew she was referring to her. I closed the screen of my laptop and leaned my head against the wall, “I rejected her mom, it’s been three years, I’m pretty sure she has someone else,”

“And if she doesn’t, there’s probably a reason why.”

“What are you trying to say?” I squint my eyebrows in confusion. Mom gets off the bed and starts walking to my sister side, tucking her in the blanket so the cold from the air condition doesn’t make her sick, “There’s only one way to find out do she still likes you or if she doesn’t, and it’s always worth a try,”

“Well, she’s on the other side of the world, were on a vacation mom. There’s no way to find out and I’m not going to ask her over text,”

“There’s always a way when it’s love, honey.” She smiles. I try to find something wrong about that smile, trying to see if she’s faking it, if she’s just telling me because I’m her son, but I can’t seem to find it. It’s hundred percent genuine and for some reason, it makes me feel better. “Thanks mom,” I tell her, sincerely.

She nods, “Always for you, sweetie,” her smile falls and she throws some money at me, lightly. It’s just the way we work, by the way, she’s not abusing me and she’s not bipolar. “Now, go to the 7-eleven and buy some chocolate for me.” She demands. I roll my eyes at her but obey nonetheless, she’s my mother after all. Besides, I could use some fresh air.

…well, air. I could use some air.

The trip to the 7-eleven and back to the hotel consisted of thinking about different ways to tell her. I’d schedule the time on when I should say it, and I tried to rehearse some phrases that would sound the best, but by the time I arrived at the hotel, everything erased itself from my mind when I saw her on top of the staircase to second floor.

Her eyes were completely fixed on mine, her phone hanging loosely in her hands. I was blinded by her beauty. Instead of the usual amount of makeup she used everyday, she was wearing minimal amount. Her eyes were clean and her eyebrows wasn’t all that harsh, there was a beautiful glow to her skin from the heat and her lips was glossy and red. Her hair was curly from the heat also, and it was set up in a bun that just gave off that natural vibe. She was wearing a sky blue top with a muffin on it and a white skirt, making her look even prettier.

“Jungkook…” she whispered, shocked and confused.

My mind wandered back to the time where we were at a field trip with our class and she found a cockroach in her room and called me and cried to me for help to remove it. Knowing her, she was scared, really scared to even look at it so I quickly walked to her room and removed it for her. Later on that night, we were watching a movie and she drifted away, falling asleep in my arms.

Seeing that in my mind made me realize that, I wanted that.

I wanted that with her.

I wanted her to come to me when she’s scared, I wanted her to fall asleep in my arms, but better yet, I want her to be with me. So I did what I had to do.

I dropped the bag of chips that I had in my hands and stormed up the stairs. She looked confused and although it made it harder, I kept walking upstairs until I finally reached her. When I did, I placed my palm on her cheek, “What are you doing?”

“Something I should’ve done a long time ago,” I replied before crashing my lips into hers.

The kiss wasn’t sloppy nor was it soft, it was passionate and I liked it. It made my heart race the minute she responded to the kiss and wrapped her arms around mine. She smiled into the kiss and I felt accomplished.

She was mine.

[angededesespoir]

1--34

TY, Anon!  

Putting this below a cut:

1: when you have cereal, do you have more milk than cereal or more cereal than milk?

NO MILK IS COMING ANYWHERE NEAR MY CEREAL!  Like, I’ll drink milk in a glass, but I’m not mixing it w/ cereal.  The taste makes me nauseated & the texture is awful.  Plus, let’s be honest, most of the time I eat from the box, so…..  

Old Habits Die Hard.

2: do you like the feeling of cold air on your cheeks on a wintery day?

Yes & No.  It’s kinda refreshing, but at the same time, sometimes the cold aggravates teeth & jaw pain.  

3: what random objects do you use to bookmark your books?

Reciepts, random pieces of paper or napkins/kleenexes, any small object (paper weight, stress ball thing, eraser, pencil, rock, etc.) or piece of clothing  (Beanie, Jacket Sleeve, etc.).

W/ the amount of Bookmarks I have, you would think that I wouldn’t need to do this.  :P

4: how do you take your coffee/tea?

I’m not really a tea or coffee person.  I’m trying to get into coffee more, I guess?  I’ll usually get flavoured espressos or lattes or Vanilla Frappuccinos from Starbucks every now & then.  

I like Raspberry Iced Tea, if that counts?  

  5: are you self-conscious of your smile?

…..I’m basically self-conscious about everything, so, yes.

6: do you keep plants?

YES!  I have no clue what I’m doing, though.  These poor plants.  I currently have some Cacti [took them in last year when the apartment next to ours abandoned them] , 2 Succulents, & a Venus Fly Trap [that I think I killed tbh].  I’m also gonna try to plant a Marigold, again.  

(Sorry for the poor image. Here’s 3 of them.   Ralph [the succulent on far right] is the one I’ve had the longest.  I’ve had him for over a year & a half now.  Here’s how he looked when I first got him.) 

7: do you name your plants?

Yes!  …..But the thing is, I’m bad at names & chronically forget them.  :P  I only remember that I named one of my Succulents  Ralph, my Venus Flytrap was/is Khaleesi, and the Marigold that I tried to grow last year was Kira  (…..as in the Kira from Bleach).  My second try at the Marigold will be called Kira 2.0 .

8: what artistic medium do you use to express your feelings?

Mainly Writing!  In the past, mostly Poetry.  I’ve been focusing more on Fanfics. lately, though.  I also sometimes indulge in some art.

Overall, poetry probably winds up being the most emotional thing for me and contains the most personal content (at least some of the time).

9: do you like singing/humming to yourself?

Rarely.  I don’t really like the sound of my voice & I get scared people will hear me.  I like to Lip-Sing, though.  

Occasionally I will hum, though.  Usually as a way to try to calm myself & get some nervous energy out.  

10: do you sleep on your back, side, or stomach?

99% of the time I go to sleep on my stomach, 1% on my side.  What I do after I pass out is anyone’s guess.  Some nights I’m very still, others not.  A fair amount of the time I’ll wake up on my back…..which is uncomfy.

11: what’s an inner joke you have with your friends?

“Hot Coals.”

In 10th grade we had to write a skit in English class for the play, “Julius Caesar.”

We were writing a scene & I was trying to lighten the mood, so I came up w/ a few lines that weren’t meant to be added to the script…..but my partners liked them and the rest is history.

12: what’s your favorite planet?

I like rooting for the Underdog, so Pluto!  

13: what’s something that made you smile today?

Looking at some Reaper76 Fanart.  ^_^

14: if you were to live with your best friend in an old flat in a big city, what would it look like?

Oh, boy.  Uh….. mainly however she’d like, I guess. Preferably w/ plants and some space to move around.  Not too high up.  Good Plumbing.  That kind of thing.  I don’t really know?  :P

15: go google a weird space fact and tell us what it is!

Apparently, “In space, if unprotected pieces of metal touch each other, they stick together permanently.”

16: what’s your favorite pasta dish?

Chicken & Broccoli Alfredo!

17: what color do you really want to dye your hair?

I don’t plan on dying my hair (at least, not anytime soon), but probably Purple, Bi Pride Colours, or a Mix of Blues.

18: tell us about something dumb/funny you did that has since gone down in history between you and your friends and is always brought up.

…..My memory is so bad.  What even are friends, again?  I honestly can’t remember.  I’m sure there’s something.  

19: do you keep a journal? what do you write/draw/ in it?

*Looks around*  This, um, this is basically it.

But, no, for actual journal, I do have several, but I haven’t used them in years.  I had a few that I meant to start, but never did, that were for like Dreams and Personal Growth and Identity Exploration.  The ones that I did do were mainly for venting or recording certain mundane events.

When I was a kid I was way more into it.  Used to have a few diaries where I would record school gossip and random events and certain desires and stuff.  And, b/c I was a weird kid, in elementary school, I used to sometimes draw what one of my crushes was wearing.

But, my Mom started reading it, so I stopped writing in them.  :)  And I never really got back into it later, mainly b/c of Trust issues.  But also b/c I got a bunch of Online Blogs now.

20: what’s your favorite eye color?

Uhhh…..Blue?  Probably?  Idk I like a lot of eye colours, tbh.  Like, Brown eyes can be really pretty & certain shades of Hazel.  

21: talk about your favorite bag, the one that’s been to hell and back with you and that you love to pieces.

Somewhere in my closet is a Purpleish-Pink & Black Backpack that I’ve had for…..idk, at least 5 years, if not longer.  It’s very sturdy & pretty.  

I trade between backpacks for school, so it’s taking a break, storing some of my things rn.

Honestly, though, I’ve had so many backpacks over the years, each w/ their own memories…..which have been mainly lost to time.

22: are you a morning person?

I’m…..a late night, early morning type person.  As in, Midnight- roughly 7 a.m. is my jam.  Waking up early, though…..I’m dead.

23: what’s your favorite thing to do on lazy days where you have 0 obligations?

TUMBLR.  Whether I have obligations or not.  I’m here.

24: is there someone out there you would trust with every single one of your secrets?

My Best Friend, Alex, maybe.  But, like…..idk about everything.  :/

25: what’s the weirdest place you’ve ever broken into?

Nowhere???  Pretty sure I’ve never done that before?

26: what are the shoes you’ve had for forever and wear with every single outfit?

Uhhhh  I think my Black Boots would be the oldest pair that I wear consistently.  I’ve had them for about 3-4 years now.  I think the oldest pair I currently have in my closet, though, are my Old Gym shoes, which, I think, are between 5-7 years old, but I haven’t really worn them since I graduated High School and no longer had the dreaded P.E.

27: what’s your favorite bubblegum flavor?

Mmmmm  Probably Strawberry or Mint Chocolate Chip Ice Cream Flavour.

28: sunrise or sunset?

Sunset!  I love the Colours!  

Sunrise is interesting, too.  Surreal vibes.

29: what’s something really cute that one of your friends does and is totally endearing?

One of my friends (Colleen) draws cute doodles!  She made me this one for my Birthday:

30: think of it: have you ever been truly scared?

…..I’m literally almost always in a state of fear, tbh.  

But, yes, I’ve had some moments of intense fear.  Mainly phobia or trauma stuff.

31: what is your opinion of socks? do you like wearing weird socks? do you sleep with socks? do you confine yourself to white sock hell? really, just talk about socks.

I LOVE SOCKS!  I really like coloured socks & socks w/ patterns, but I’ll wear just about anything at just about any length, tbh.  I’m wearing socks more often than not, and I generally wear socks to bed  (sometimes the looser ones will fall off during the night, though).

Almost all of my socks have holes in them, tbh, b/c I’m constantly pacing.  :P  My sock drawer is bursting and unorganized.  Sometimes I just wear mix-matched socks, tbh, b/c I rarely ever put the socks w/ their mates.  I just shoove them in the drawer most of the time b/c I don’t have energy.  :P

My fav. socks are probably my Fuzzy Mint Green Pairs.  They’re nice & warm.  

Fun Fact:  I have a pair of Tie-Dye socks that I dyed myself.

32: tell us a story of something that happened to you after 3AM when you were with friends.

??? I’ve never been w/ friends at the time.  [Except for 2 sleepovers, I think, and ironically I was asleep then.]   I can literally count on my hands the amount of times I’ve seen friends outside of school.  

Not to mention my memory sucks.  :P

Uh, online-wise, just-  staying up late on forums &, recently, Discord talking about a range of entertaining topics & playing games, I guess?  I don’t really have anything specific atm, sorry.  :(

33: what’s your fave pastry?

Bear Claws!  

34: tell us about the stuffed animal you kept as a kid. what is it called? what does it look like? do you still keep it?

Say hello to Mauris.  

He’s my most prized possession.  I’ve had him for 20 years and I still sleep w/ him.  Most of his fur is worn & he has a patch worn off of his neck b/c I used to rub him there a lot as a kid.  

My Mom got me him.  I also had another one that my Grandmother got me when I was like 3 that has a Blue Bow, but I have no clue what happened to him.  :(  We think my Baby Bro. might have had it when he was in foster care & that at some point some kid took it.

I also had a tiger one, too, but I’m not sure where they are.

Anyway, I Love Stuffed Animals so much!  They are a major comfort to me!