#I’m not talking about cosplay either I’ve worked anime convention(s) I’ve seen it all

[tsuchinokoroyale]

You can absolutely become a Jojo, I've seen it happen before. If you really think you'll never be one........ Skill issue idk what else to say

I’m sorry I have bones and ligaments and non-flexible meat 😔😔😔 but also I’m not taking shade from someone who’s only seen it themselves… anon, you currently have the credibility of having an uncle who works for Nintendo. Become a jojo yourself and then I’ll be like oh wig u right, skill issue 😩

[homespork-review]

Spork Introduction

CHEL: Hi! I go by Chel, they or she pronouns, and I’m the one spearheading this project. I still like at least a fair percentage of Homestuck, but after the ending disappointed me a great deal, I got bitter, and when Hussie pissed me off further by Godwinning himself, I decided to do something about it. I’m no longer angry about it, but I felt I’d benefit from picking out what I hate from what I love so I can focus on the latter without annoyance getting in the way, and also to benefit my own writing efforts.

BRIGHT: Howdy! I’m Bright, and I got into Homestuck fairly recently. After ploughing through the archive and digesting for a while, I realised that I was thoroughly annoyed by how something enjoyable had fallen apart so comprehensively. I am looking forward to the time-honoured practice of ripping the story apart to identify its weak points and shout at them.

FAILURE ARTIST: Hello, I’m Failure Artist (call me FA for short), she/her/herself pronouns, and I’m so old-school they burned the school down. I was introduced to Homestuck via Something Awful’s Webcomic thread. I checked the old mspadventures.com site and the latest update was [S] John: Bite Apple. After watching that bizarre piece of animation, I had to know what the hell happened before then. I found I enjoyed the wit of the comic though I didn’t really care much about the plot. It was only when Act 5 came around that I became a serious fan. I currently have 122 Homestuck works on Archive of Our Own. I have a lot of free time, you see. I am very disappointed in how Homestuck ended. Possibly there was no completely satisfactory way it could end but it still could have been better. I feel like Hussie was a juggler who threw a lot of balls into the air and ignored them as they fell to the ground and some fans think not catching them was a master move since you’d expect he’d try to catch at least one. Sadly, lots of the problems with the ending are embedded deep within the canon.

TIER: Hi hi. I am Tier, a very late newcomer to the wonderful world of Homestuck (2018 reader!) and average fan overall. I love this webcomic to bits, but the low points are deep and I enjoy seeking out what the heck went wrong. Not particularly analytical myself, hope that's cool!

CHEL: Cool by us! We’ve already done plenty of analysing before we started, as you may realise from my Tumblr’s “homestuck ending hate” tag (at @chelonianmobile).

FAILURE ARTIST: But let’s put that aside for a moment and talk about the good stuff. 

Homestuck is incredibly innovative. It is the first true webcomic. It’s not just a print comic posted online. It uses not just still images and words but also animation, music, and interactive games.

Homestuck is the latest adventure in the series MS Paint Adventures. MS Paint Adventures started as a forum adventure. In forum adventures, the OP acts as a sort of Dungeon Master and other forum members give them prompts. Andrew Hussie’s previous works under MS Paint Adventures were Jailbreak (which is little more than Hussie dicking with the prompters in scatological ways), Bard’s Quest (Choose-your-own-adventure), and the actually-completed Problem Sleuth. Problem Sleuth lacks the music and animation and despite the weird physics shenanigans is a simpler story than Homestuck. The characters aren’t even two dimensional.

Homestuck (and the previous MS Paint Adventures minus Bard’s Quest) are set up like adventure games. Adventure games are where the player is a protagonist in a story and are usually focused on puzzle-solving though sometimes there’s combat. In the beginning, these games were purely text. The player would type what they wanted to do and the game would spout back text describing it - assuming the computer parser understood you.

CHEL: Oh god, I HATED that. I wasn’t around for the heyday but I’ve played a couple and

Pale Luna

was barely an exaggeration (horror warning).

FAILURE ARTIST: As graphics improved, adventure games started using them, but the commands were still in text. Only later was the point-and-click interface created and players didn’t have to guess what exact sentence the computer wanted them to type. Homestuck and the other MS Paint Adventures play with that frustration while paying tribute to the genre. The game within the comic uses RPG elements but the comic itself is set up like those good ol’ adventure games. In the beginning, Homestuck was guided by commands from forum members. Even after he closed the suggestion box, he used memes and fanon created by readers.

CHEL: How good an idea this was varies, as we’ll be showing.

We probably don’t need to describe Homestuck much more. Everyone here who hasn’t read it will doubtless have heard of it. Almost everyone with a Tumblr will have seen fanart, almost anyone at a convention will have seen cosplay. Shoutouts have been made to it in professional works such as the cartoon Steven Universe, and the Avengers fandom latched onto “caw caw motherfuckers” as a catchphrase for Hawkeye to the point that it’s now often forgotten it didn’t originate from there.

FAILURE ARTIST: The Homestuck fandom term “sadstuck” for depressing stories/headcanons somehow leaked into other fandoms. Using second-person is actually cool now and not just for awkward reader fics. Astrology will never be the same again.

CHEL: Now, in the interests of fairness, we will say that when Homestuck is good, it’s amazing, and it’s good often. The characters at least start out appealing and are all immediately distinguishable; even with the typing quirks stripped, it’s easy to tell who said what. The magic system is one of the coolest I’ve ever seen, who doesn’t love classpecting themselves and their faves? Hussie also shows a lot of talent for the complex meta and time travel weirdness, and it is fascinating to watch a timeline thread unfurl. And whatever else one says, it’s a fascinating story that’s captivated millions. I think it is deserving of its title as a modern classic.

However, as the years have passed, we have ended up noticing problems, big and small, and they nagged at us until we decided it had to be dissected. Our intention here isn’t to tear apart something we loathe entirely. It’s to take a complex work and pick out what works from what doesn’t. As I said, when Homestuck is good, it’s very very good. But when it’s bad, we get problems of every scale from various offensive comments to dragging pace to characters ignoring problems and solutions right under their noses to an absolute collapse of every theme and statement the comic stood for before.

The comic is ludicrously long; eight thousand pages, or thereabouts, to be specific. Officially one of the longest works of fiction in the English language, in fact. Naturally, we can’t riff that word by word in any timeframe short of decades, and we can’t include every picture, even if that was permitted under copyright law. Instead, as comics have been done here before, we’ll recap most of the time, and include sections of dialogue and pictures when particularly relevant to a point.

Here are the counts we’ll be using, possibly to be added to later if we find we forgot anything. Most of these counts will only start to climb post-Act 5, but we’ll be keeping track of them from the beginning. Most of them could have been fixed with a decent editor, which is sadly a hazard of webcomics, but still frustrating to read.

TIER: Note: we started this endeavor months before the thought of a "technically not but still we'll count it" set of canon epilogues were a twinkle in the eyes of the fandom. That is, by the way, a whole 'nother can of worms that will be dealt with at a later date if that ever comes around. We're judging Homestuck the Webcomic as a whole, so no after the credits stuff is to be noted for whatever reason.

ALL THE LUCK - Vriska Serket constantly gets a pass or gets favored over every other character. This count is added to every time she pulls some shenanigans with which others wouldn’t get away. ARE YOU TRYING TO BE FUNNY? - Sometimes it’s not entirely clear whether a thing is supposed to be taken seriously or not. We don’t require hand-holding through every joke, but when, for example, we’re supposed to take one instance of violence seriously while a similar case is supposed to be funny, this count goes up. CALL CPA PLEASE - Instances of creepy sexual behaviour (and perhaps particularly gratuitous acts of violence) from the thirteen-year-old cast. Now, mileage may vary on this one. We won’t pretend that thirteen-year-olds are perfect pure angels, especially thirteen-year-olds growing up in what is openly supposed to be a nightmarish dystopia. However, when full pages focus on said behaviour, there comes a point of it being very uncomfortable to read. Clarification: does not refer to cases where the adults do something heinous, this is strictly when the kids do. CLOCKWORK PROBLEMATYKKS - When an offensive joke or comment is made, particularly when not justified by the personality of the character involved, or presented in the narration as being okay. GET ON WITH IT! - When the pace drags. ‘Nuff said. Hazard of the format, but it makes archive bingeing very annoying. GORE GALORE - For unnecessary and/or excessive torture porn which is treated less seriously because it features troll characters, and therefore less “realistic” blood colours. HOW NOT TO WRITE A WEBCOMIC - When the comic does something mentioned in How Not To Write A Novel, and it isn’t justified by the webcomic format. HURRY UP AND DO NOTHING - Characters repeatedly neglect to do something about or even react to terrible happenings, either because they don’t care even if they should or they forget they have the capacity. Not necessarily anything to do with their magical powers, either - characters ignore personal problems that are right under their noses, too. IN HATE WITH MY CREATION - For reasons that are unclear, Hussie chose to create characters he apparently hated writing, or at least ignored in favour of others. Every time he’s clearly disrespecting one of his own characters, this goes up, whether it’s by nerfing their powers or changing their personalities. RELATIONSHIP GOALS? - Romantic relationships in particular get fumbled quite often. Ship Teasing is used with skill, but that skill tends to be lost when the characters actually hook up. Fumbled friendships and family relations can also come under this heading. SEND THEM TO THE SLAMMER - When characters other than Vriska get away with something morally questionable. Covers everything from sexual harassment to not trying to save people from the apocalypse. SOME OF MY BEST FRIENDS - Later on in Homestuck’s run, Hussie tried to make up for the offensive humour and casual -isms counted by Clockwork Problematykks above. How successful he was at this varied. This count goes up whenever an attempt at progressivism is waved in front of the reader but doesn’t stand up under scrutiny. WHAT IS HAPPENING?? - When the already confusing plot kicks it up a notch. Admittedly this is as much a selling point of the comic as it is an issue, but either way, we’re going to keep track. Points will be added to when it gets confusing, and taken away when a previous confusing thing is explained adequately. WHITE SBURB POSTMODERNISM - What is shown about Alternia repeatedly contradicts what we’re told about how different it is from Earth. For example, trolls still use heteronormative terms even after it’s established they reproduce bisexually, and the demonstration of the class structure doesn’t always add up. This count goes up every time that happens. It also goes up every time something happens which strongly implies Hussie was envisioning the human kids as white, despite his later claims that they were always supposed to be “aracial”, and every time their economic statuses don’t add up either.

[momestuck]

Let’s read Hiveswap Friendsim - volume 15!

Just to clear up a misconception - this is Hiveswap Friendsim, not to be confused with Hiveswap proper, which is a point and click adventure game spinoff of Homestuck, of which so far only one volume has been released. So Friendsim is basically a spinoff of a spinoff!

The characters in Friendsim are apparently set to feature in Hiveswap volume 2, although the actual events of Friendsim may not have happened exactly as portrayed. It’s impressionistic, or something.

I suspect this explanation may be more confusing than clarifying.

This volume is called Of Creatives, Conventional and Otherwise.

Charun looks like some kinda gardener, and Wanshi evidently has a book (the title of which seems to be ‘DIARY [of a] CULLABLE WIGGLER’).

Charun

Charun is by Kieran Miranda, who previously wrote Azdaja (the DBZ guy) and Stelsa (Tyzias’s gf with the pink coat).

The protag begins this arc by questioning their entire character trait!

They’re having a day in due to depression.

Unfortunately, we can’t sleep for long. Someone is crawling about in our ceiling!

...or not in our ceiling, but in the edge of our room, anyway. We poke our head out of some kind of telescope- or camera-hole. And meet...

This person! Pizzicato strings (hey I know some music words). This piece is actually by Toby Fox, of Undertale fame, who also did music for Tegiri, Lynera and Galekh. Huh.

The protagonist grumpily asks if they’re here to move in or something, and Charun says some words at last.

It turns out they were here to take this strange lens thing. But now they’re stuck.

The narration uses ‘they’ pronouns, which we haven’t seen since Cirava, so that’s nice :)

Their quirk is speaking very slowly, with lots of pauses, marked by ‘..’ - just two dots - on either side.

Apparently the reason they want it is ..............................art.

We get our first choice. Interesting or weird? I’m inclined to be nice. Let’s say interesting. Kind of damning with faint praise there though, I guess.

Charun picks up on our like... noncommittal use of ‘interesting’. They say...

And that’s pretty much shot our chances of friendship.

Well, let’s be more engaged. Sounds weird, ya weirdo, etc.? Engaged.

‘Haha.. yeah..’ is about what we get for that.

There’s a dig at the format.

Instead, our choice is...

Mmmm.

Let’s go with... two dots?

They’re apparently too tired to lug this lens back down the tower. We get another set of options (guessing .. vs .... was a fakeout)

Let’s carry it! I want to see what they do with it.

We make our way out, and get the long shot of our watchtower again.

Charun, it turns out, lives in a cave just down the road from our watchtower. We get a very detailed background.

Back to back, the difference between this background - lineart, cel-shaded - and the previous one - painted, kind of impressionistic - is striking.

Notably, there seems to be a troll back there, looking out from over a pile of stuff. Also is that like... bug thingy Charun’s lusus?

Charun inquires as to our opinion of their art. We flounder.

Charun calls us on having no idea what we’re talking about. But this prompts the protag to decide this would be a great time to learn how to make art.

We get some wisdom... “All art.. is dicking around..” True words.

But apparently we’re overthinking it. Our second attempt...

Soon enough, they decide to join in. We collaborate...

I’ve seen that episode of The Get Down.

Our results seem to be worth it.

The narrator celebrates.

I’m actually kind of put in mind of some words by Porpentine here.

Build the shittiest thing possible. Build out of trash because all i have is trash. Trash materials, trash bodies, trash brain syndrome. Build in the gaps between storms of chronic pain. Build inside the storms.

And this masterpiece created...

Well I guess we go for a joyride? That seems entirely unrelated to what happened in the episode, but what do you know.

So now let’s propose finding some more portable trash, I guess. Which is another colourful background...

Apparently the background artist for this episode is Phil Gibson. This is a river which is accumulating a pile of rubbish on the bank.

After extracting a promise not to share this secret location, we get to work.

They get us to install instaGram.. uh...

PincerSpam. We check out their aesthetic...

Apparently they’re friends with Cirava. That’s cool :)

At that point, we stumble on some familiar faces in a cave. Awkward segue, but what ho.

What sort of lethal shenanigans are these two up to today? Apparently their quarry is expected to be somewhere in this dump. Uh-oh... hope it’s not our new dear friend Charun.

Charun, meanwhile, has found some kind of gadget with a satellite dish. The protag figures it probably belongs to whoever Azdaja and Konyyl are tracking, and Charun asks us to distract them while they run away with it. Before we can refuse, they’re off.

And that’s that. Meanwhile, Azdaja and Konyyl seem to be tending blackromwards so... yeah. That’s a thing.

Wanshi

Now for a very small troll. Wanshi is written by Lalo Hunt, who wrote Tagora, Tyzias and Galekh. Really likes to write the nerds, huh.

We decide to spontaneously pop down to the library.

The narrator makes the same observation as me about the shelves...

It turns out this shoe is on a troll, hiding inside this shelf to read ‘Scribblejournal of a Cullable Wiggler’. Guess they changed ‘Diary’ to ‘Scribblejournal’ during production at some point.

Wanshi’s theme has soft piano music. It’s titled ‘idk man you name it i’m tired’. Oh, that James Roach and his wacky song names!

We decide to butt in on her reading.

On realising how young Wanshi is, the protagonist muses that they’ve managed to befriend a few other kids, and we get a very interesting bit of narration...

So our protagonist dreams about the failure branches? Given the connection between dreams, death and the Furthest Ring, that fits.

Since she’s a Jadeblood, she’d likely know Bronya, right. I’m very curious about this brain room. Let’s go there first.

Her quirk, apart from the little bookending []s, is capital Ws and lowercase everything else. She’s five and a half sweeps old, which is almost the age of the Homestuck cast when we first encounter them (so she’s about 12 in human terms).

We wonder why she’s wandering outside the caverns. She explains...

We make our way to the brain room. She asks us what a ‘brain’ is - because of course Trolls say ‘thinkpan’.

Considering that there’s no reason for Alternian and English to be the same, I kind of half suspect Doc Scratch has just been fucking with us all this time.

Unfortunately, we can’t enter the thinkpan room, and there’s a scary looking guard there. So we move on. Apparently the reason she was escaping was to go to ‘beastcon’.

Oh god have we found a troll furry.

Apparently she writes ‘soldier purrbeasts’ fanfic. Hmm... not sure what that is. It could be this series of YA books?

We hear what the Jades have been saying about us.

Aww.

I’m not sure what it is we know, except for occasionally being able to give out fairly good relationship advice, but who knows? Our reputation precedes us.

She asks us to take her to the con.

I want to see this con. We make a hurried escape from the library as the guard approaches.

Of course the anime nerds would go.

We head off, guided by Gorgle Maps, and Wanshi excitedly observes the world outside the brooding caverns.

Alas, on the way to the con, we find a dead troll.

For once, we’re with someone who isn’t utterly desensitised to brutal violence.

Indeed...

Indeed.

She shakes it off relatively soon, and we reach the con.

Honestly I’m not exactly sure what this is a parody of, if anything specific. ‘Anime con and renaissance faire’ indeed.

Apparently the attractions include cholerbear riding and a... ‘coslay competition’. Which is entirely different, we soon learn, to ‘cosplay’. We consider calling Bronya to pick her up, when...

a rampaging bear interrupts the conversation.

Whoops. Not exactly a place for kids. We throw her in a bush and... grab a katana? That’s just lying around? Yeah good luck with that...

We fucking stab a bear with a katana to protect a small child we met less than an hour ago. Alternia must be getting to us.

Unfortunately, sheer guts doesn’t save us. We get crushed under the bear.

That’s one way to go out, huh. Well, I guess Wanshi learned way more about death than she bargained on.

OK, side branches. First, asking if Bronya is around instead of taking her to see the brain room.

Snitches get stitches.

Well, the kind you get from running, anyhow. Wanshi’s out.

OK, now to actually befriend her and survive the process. We’ll pretend to take her to the con instead of actually going.

The narrator tries to figure out how to refuse her request.

We narrowly escape from the guard - which Wanshi terms ‘bonding hijinks’ - and take her on a roundabout route home. She gets to enjoy the sights.

The protag is so endeared that they decide to take her to see their crashed spaceship. This reminds them that Vikare exists and they haven’t texted in ages.

I guess Vikare isn’t just forgettable to the readers!

Anyway, after pocketing a few of the remaining bits, Wanshi asks us to get a move on to get her to the con.

So we fess up.

She’s not pleased.

We have a slump. There’s an allusion to that ‘bitch of an Earth’ line that didn’t quite make it from ‘popular Tumblr post’ to ‘meme’.

Though she’s still pissed, she appreciates our honesty. Some Social Commentary...

At that point, we get some texts from Tegiri and Polypa, respectively telling us to come to the con and stay far away. Seems the whole cholerbear incident does happen in both branches this time.

This, at least, cheers Wanshi up a bit.

Anyway, though she didn’t get the chance to make friends at the con, she’s got us. We get invited to RP with her...

...as cats.

She’d get on well with Nepeta, huh.

We learn a little about Soldier Purrbeasts.

So...

Warriors is a series of novels  published by HarperCollins.

It is written by authors Kate Cary, Cherith Baldry, and Tui Sutherland, with the plot developed by editor Victoria Holmes, who collectively use the pseudonym Erin Hunter. The series follows the adventures of four, later five, clans of wild cats—ThunderClan, ShadowClan, WindClan, RiverClan, and SkyClan, who will not be introduced into the territories until "A Vision of Shadows" —in their forest and lake homes, who look up to StarClan, the spirits of their warriors ancestors, who guide the four clans. They also follow the warrior code, a set of rules established in order to keep the clans as civil factions.

...sounds like I was write to guess it was a parody of this franchise?

The narrator kind of struggles to get it.

But with some prodding from Wanshi, we purple up our prose and find our way to suitably overblown dialogue. Even if it’s ‘not really a starcaste approach’.

Eventually, we get back to the Jade caverns, and find Lynera at a full five knives.

Luckily, our presence calms her down somewhat - as low as two knives! But before we can leave them to sort things out, Wanshi has a gift...

That says ‘Soldiers’. So yeah, definitely a parody of Warriors. These books were first released around 2003, roughly contemporary with books like Mortal Engines, The Edge Chronicles, Artemis Fowl, Alex Rider, and Maximum Ride. Given that, I’m honestly surprised I never read them! Maybe it was more of an American thing.

And like that, we’ve made a friend. uwu

We’re in the endgame now. Expecting I’ll finish this... probably not tomorrow, but likely Friday.

[elementalheroneos]

Why do u care so much about killing stalking if u don't like it tho? Why don't u just ignore it? Not being mean just wondering

Ok so this is going to be long bc the whole “Don’t like it? Ignore it.” shtick has annoyed and frustrated me for months and I’m just going to vent it out now. I’m sorry anon if this comes off as angry bc it’s not directed at you, but again, this has bothered me for months now and I feel like more people are just going to say this until I put all this out there.

Also if this ends up in the main tag bc tumblr is a broken website: I don’t care what any of you nasties think and I don’t want to interact with you, so why don’t you all help me ignore it by blocking me and moving on.

TLDR tho: Ki////ing Sta///king makes me extremely uncomfortable and seeing people support it and the abuse in it scares me. I’d love more than anything to be able to ignore it and pretend it doesn’t exist, but because of its popularity, it is impossible to avoid unless I completely change my life. So because I have to be exposed to it against my will, I’m going to grit my teeth and express discomfort with vent posts on the internet and involve myself with people who also dislike it.

If I were to try and ignore it tho, I would pretty much have to delete all social media and avoid most of the internet.  Tumblr has recommended blogs about it to me, the main tag trends when it updates, i’ve gone into tags completely unrelated to the manhwa and seen crossover stuff, when it came out I had to unfollow 15 people who posted it, just a week ago someone who posted it followed me (despite me having it in my byf to not follow me if you enjoy it), people have interacted with my posts with icons of the characters, and so on and so forth.  As far as I remember I’ve only directly gone looking at the main fandom/character tags on tumblr/instagram about 6 or 7 times since it became popular.  One was when I first heard about it and was looking through the tag to see wtf it was. 2 or 3 were because I got into such a distressed state that I was trying to block as many people who supported it as I could so that they would never interact with me. 1 or 2 were to actually know what was going on to have an informed opinion. And the last one was bc y00bum-in//drag was saying that no one said anything like my vent post so I searched keywords to get screenshots. Beside that the only time I willingly look at it is also if someone’s blog pops up on a post on my dash who is a fan I might look at it for a moment because it’s already there in my face.

I really don’t actively look for that shit tbh it’s more it finds me. And the same goes for instagram and facebook and even I think I saw someone with a character dragon/icon on flight rising??? And uhh instagram allows you to block zero tags so guess how many times it’s come up there with cosplayers (and guess how many had self harm sfx makeup that freaked me out :) ) I’ve also had people message me/my friends about cosplay advice and commissions and saw posts about it on their blogs. 

I cannot avoid it at all on the internet, and to an extent the same thing goes for irl. I enjoy cosplaying and want to use as a springboard for my dream career in costume design and construction. I also work for an anime vendor booth and go to almost every con in my state and even some out of states.  My boss knows zero about k////s and tbh he wouldn’t care about what it was/if me and my friends who also work for him were made uncomfortable by it.  So when cosplayers show up to our booth, we can’t just leave to avoid them. We can’t tell them to leave because were extremely uncomfortable either. It’s basically a retail job so we have to smile and help sell things to them. One con for 2 days straight a pair of sang///woo and yoon////bum couple cosplayers kept coming back to our booth every 2-3 hours and hanging out for 20 minutes straight because we were the only booth at that convention selling yoi merchandise. Our boss even encouraged us to keep trying to get them to come back and buy more since they spent so much money. It was honest to god awful??? Like all three of us just kept praying they’d leave and not come back every time they showed up cause we did not want to see them. Esp when they would also loiter by our booth to talk to friends and do shippy things and joke about the abuse in the comic. 

I also was talking to a really popular cosplayer once who also is uncomfortable with k////s and he told me that a yoon//////bum cosplayer ran and tackled him at a con and damaged his cosplay. Or I had the scare of my life when I was going under a table to sort through the boxes and I came up to a yoon////bum cosplayer right there with wrist bandages and felt uncomfortable for the rest of the day.

And also umm going off that and onto a semi tangent: do you have any idea how many k/////s cosplayers love using self harm as a prop????? Ever since the chapter with self harm came out I have yet to see a yoon////bum cosplayer without wrist bandages (bloody or not) including that one that kept coming back for 2 days which is god awful. Esp considering one of my friends who works at the booth is extremely triggered by that stuff.  Anytime we see yoon////bum cosplayers now we have to go out of our ways to avoid our friend seeing it by either getting them to switch tables or trying to distract them all while WORKING and helping customers. And ofc one with bloody wrist bandages went right up to their booth one time when they weren’t looking and when my friend looked back bc they realized a customer was there they had to sit and help them purchase something before going to the bathroom because they were having a panic attack and needed to get away from that. And ofc the rest of us had to cover for them and pretend to our boss they were just taking a bathroom break. So uh yeah not fond and if you think I can ignore that….. what world do you live in???? It’s in my face on the internet and at cons I attend to enjoy and at my job.

Even though this has gotten super long I’m going to say this one thing before someone jumps on my dick for it: “But Ceili, why do you follow/interact with anti k////s blogs???? Lmao you secretly enjoy it/want to see it” Bc like I’ve said above, I have zero way to completely ignore it. If I’m going to be forced to see it against my will, I want to see it through people who also hate it bc its a huge comfort to know that some people don’t get off to the abuse and torture of a gay man and think its disgusting as well. I’m not going to just internalize and try to pretend I’m not disgusted and uncomfortable for the sake of protecting poor k//////s fans’ feelings. I’m going to vent about it and I’m going to talk to other people about why I hate it because it helps make me feel safer and allows me to get shit out. Anti blogs also talk about the contents of the manwha so that I can stay informed without reading it/having to see posts about it because if you dare try to criticize it and say you dislike it without reading it every fan jumps down your throat with “Youre making assumptions!!!!! You don’t actually know anything!!!!! Stop lying about my favs!!!!!” I also sometimes like reading anti’s posts bc there are times where I have problems articulating my feeling so seeing someone else write it out more cohesively than I can helps me sort things out so that I’m not thinking as much about how I feel and what I’m trying to say about this garbage bc someone already said it. And also if a fan is saying something extremely nasty, yes I’m going to sometimes jump in bc I’m at that point already upset and angry.

So yeah again: I legit cannot ignore it and once I see it I can’t stop thinking about it until my discomfort passes which can either be for a few minutes or a few hours depending on the situation. Unless all fans go and keep their content super private and dont put it out there which yall will never do, we’re at a stand still and if you want me to not continue to talk about this block me and dont interact bc I want to move on with this and be done already.

[zolganif]

• I miss somebody right now. • I don’t watch much TV these days. • I own lots of books. • I wear glasses or contact lenses. • I love to play video games. • I’ve tried marijuana. • I’ve watched porn movies. • I have been the psycho-ex in a past relationship. • I believe honesty is generally the best policy. • I curse sometimes. • I have changed a lot mentally over the last year. • I carry my knife / razor everywhere with me. • I have broken someone’s bones. • I have a secret that I am ashamed to reveal. • I hate the rain. • I’m paranoid at times. • I would get plastic surgery if it were 100% safe, free of cost, and scar-free. • I need / want money right now. • I love sushi. • I talk really, really fast. • I have fresh breath in the morning. • I have long hair. • I have lost money in Las Vegas. • I have at least one sibling. • I was born in a country outside of the U.S. • I have worn fake hair / fingernails/ eyelashes in the past. • I couldn’t survive without Caller I.D.  • I like the way that I look. • I have lied to a good friend in the last 6 months. • I am usually pessimistic. • I have a lot of mood swings. • I slept with a roommate. • I have a hidden talent. • I’m always hyper no matter how much sugar I have. • I have a lot of friends. • I have kissed someone of the same sex. • I enjoy talking on the phone. • I practically live insweatpants or PJ pants. • I love to shop and / or window shop. • I’m obsessed with my Livejournal. • I don’t hate anyone. I dislike them. • I’m a pretty good dancer. • I’m completely embarrassed to be seen with my mother. • I have passed out drunk in the past 6 months. • I’ve rejected someone before. • I have no idea what I want to do for the rest of my life. • I want to have children in the future.  • I have changed a diaper before. • I have a lot to learn. • I am shy around the opposite sex. • I’m online 24 / 7, even as an away message. • I have at least 5 away messages saved. • I have tried alcohol or drugs before. • I have made a move on a friend’s significant other or crush in the past. • I own the “South Park” movie. • I have avoided assignments at work / school to be on Livejournal. • I enjoy some country music. • I’m obsessive, and often a perfectionist. • I have used my sexuality to advance my career. • Halloween is awesome because you get free candy. • I have dated a close friend’s ex. • I am happy at this moment. • I’m obsessed with guys. • Democrat. • Conservative Republican. • I go for older guys / girls, not younger. • I study for tests most of the time. • I tie my shoelaces differently from anyone I’ve ever met. • I can work on a car. • I love my job. • I am comfortable with who I am right now. • I have more than just my ears pierced. • I walk barefoot wherever I can. • I have jumped off a bridge. • I love sea turtles.  • I spend ridiculous amounts of money on makeup. • I plan on achieving a major goal / dream. • I am proficient on a musical instrument. • I hate office jobs. • I went to college out of state. • I am adopted. • I am a pyro. • I have thrown up from crying too much. • I have been intentionally hurt by people that I loved. • I fall for the worst people and have been hurt every time. • I adore bright colors. • I usually like covers better than originals. • I hate chain theme restaurants like Applebees and TGIFridays. • I can pick up things with my toes. • I can’t whistle. • I have ridden/ owned a horse. • I still have every journal I’ve ever written in. • I talk in my sleep. • I’ve often thought that I was born in the wrong century. • I try to forget things by drowning them out with loads of distractions. • I wear a toe ring. • I have a tattoo. • I can’t stand at LEAST one person that I work with. • I am a caffeine junkie. • I am completely tree-huggy spiritual, and I’m not ashamed at all. • If I knew I would get away with it, I would commit at least one murder. • I’ve cosplayed or know what cosplaying is. • I have been to over 15 conventions. • I will collect anything, and the more nonsensical, the better. • I enjoy a nice glass of wine with dinner. • I’m an artist. I like to draw. • I am ambidextrous. • I sleep with so many stuffed animals, I can hardly fit on my bed. • If it weren’t for having to see other people naked, I’d live in a nudist colony. • I have more friends on the internet than in real life. • I have lived in either three different states or countries. • I am extremely flexible. • I want to own my own business. • I smoke. • I spend way too much time on the computer. • Nobody has ever said I’m normal. • Sad movies, games, fics and the like can cause a trickle of tears every now and then. • I am proficient in the use of many types of firearms and combat weapons. • I like the way women look in stylized men’s suits. • I don’t like it when people are displeased or seem displeased with me. • I have been described as a dreamer or likely to have my head up in the clouds. • I have played strip poker with someone else before. • I have had emotional problems for which I have sought professional help. • I believe in ghosts and the paranormal. • I can’t stand being alone. • I have at least one obsession at any given time. • I weigh myself, pee / poo, and then weigh myself again. • I consistently spend way too much money on obsessions-of-the-moment. • I’m a judgmental asshole. • I’m a HUGE drama-queen. • I sometimes wish my father would just disappear. • I need people to tell me I’m good at something in order to feel that I am. • I can speak more than one language. • I can fall asleep even if the whole room is as noisy as it can be. • I would rather read than watch TV. • I like reading fact more than fiction. • I have pulled an all-nighter on an assignment I was given a month to do. • I have no piercings. • I have spent the night in a train station or other public place. • I once spent Christmas completely alone because there was a miscommunication on which parent was supposed to have me that night. • I’ve been married and am now divorced. • There have been times when I have wondered “Why was I born?” and may / may not have cried over it. • I like most animals better than most people. • I own a collection of retro games consoles. • The thought of physical exercise makes me shiver. • I have hit someone with a dead fish. • I have written / read erotic stories. • I am compulsively honest. • I was born with a congenital birth defect that has never been repaired. • I have danced topless in front of dozens of complete strangers. And not been ashamed. • I have gone from wishing I was a boy to reveling in being a girl to feeling like a boy again in the span of five minutes, and not cared a whit for my actual sex. • I sometimes won’t sleep a whole night or eat a whole day because I forget to. • I find it impossible to get to sleep without some kind of music on. • I dislike milk.  • I obsessively wash my hands. • I always carry that something significant around with me. • Sometimes I’d rather wear a wig in day-to-day life than use my own hair. • I love talking about myself to the point where I need to be stopped. • I often sing whenever I can. • I have experienced some type of traumatic abuse in my lifetime. • I’ve experienced visions and dreams which I know / believe are from my past life. • I have deja vu so vivid that I feel faint. • I love Harry Potter. • My parents are not together. • I don’t believe in love. • I hate people who walk incredibly slow. • I have extreme contempt for the vast majority of people. • Sometimes I don’t shower before work. • To me, procrastination is like a disease! • I want to sleep now. • I am a typical Gemini born. • The more I searched the less I’ve found. • As a child I was a huge crybaby. • I’m feeling alone very fast. • I’m living in a fairytale and I’m the noble Princess, who saves the day! • I always have to spell my (real) name. • I want to die in my sleep. • I have a strange laugh. • If they let me, I can sleep 12 hours in a row. • I wish I could transform myself into a boy every now and then. • I dance in the rain and don’t feel like a fool. • I have a favorite stuffed animal that I will not ever get rid of. • I sing 80’s hair metal songs into my hairbrush on a daily basis. • I have a speech disorder. • I’m infatuably attracted to men with long, blond, curly hair. • I sometimes have the urge to take a shot of whiskey or open a can of beer at odd times in the day. • I have a weakness for guys with nice bodies. • I plan to move to another country at some point in my life.