#I’m not actually convinced this man will not just disappear and reappear by summer | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

ratmonky · 3 years ago

Text

Deceitful Curse

Word Count: 10K

Warnings: non-con, stalking, obsession, mild blood, chikan, gaslighting, manipulation, humiliation, degradation, misogyny, exhibitionism

AO3 Link

As promised, this will be a gift fic for my lovely friend @lyrrotting , I promise I will write your four armed Sukuna fic soon to make up for this shitty fic lol <3

It was said that most people had an angel sitting on their right shoulder and a devil sitting on their left shoulder, the two bickered into the person’s ears about many things. While the devil would try to tempt the person, the angel would become the sound of conscience.

However, Yuuji only had the King of Curses whispering in his ear and he himself had to be the voice of conscience within his own mind.

Certainly, there would be a time he would be tempted to listen.

~~~

Life was good, Yuuji had already graduated over a year ago and gotten his sorcerer license to work until his inevitable execution.

Life was good, everyone had moved on with their lives. Inumaki had gotten a girlfriend, Fushiguro had a girlfriend and from what he heard, Maki and Kugisaki were dating each other.

Life was good, they were all happy.

Life was good, everyone else was happy.

~~~

There was a new coffee shop that had opened just two blocks down from where he lived. Naturally, Yuuji wanted to check it out for the sole purpose of seeing how big the place was. When he invited his friends over to his place and if they ever stayed the night, he wanted to have a place he could take them to for a brunch or a cup of coffee.

Unfortunately for him, the place was small. There were barely a dozen tables and nobody seemingly wanted to sit at the cramped coffee shop when they could walk to the nearby park to enjoy their coffee.

The place was crowded due to rush hour so he returned a couple of hours later to finally order something.

As soon as he walked inside, the sugary smell of the sweets and the strong aroma of the coffee surrounded him.

“Welcome!” said a cheerful voice. It was you, beaming at him with the brightest smile he had ever seen on anyone. It looked too genuine to be a fake service worker's smile.

He hesitantly walked up to the counter with a blush coloring his cheeks from the intensity of your smile that was aimed towards him. “Hi,” he said before lifting his eyes up to the menu displays. “Ah.” He had no idea what to get. “Takeaway, I think, and ahh… Um…”

As if you noticed his struggle, you started talking. “If you like sweets I’d recommend my special summer drink. If you like coffee, I can give you the best brew in the whole city. It isn't strong but the aroma actually tastes like fresh coffee beans, I roast them fresh every day.” You were so bright, still smiling. Didn’t your cheeks hurt? How could anyone be this sweet? “Or I can choose a drink for you! Trust me, I’ll make it count!”

He understood none of the things you were saying but he felt like he could trust you to choose a drink for him, so he nodded approvingly.

Clapping your hands together, you walked behind the coffee machine and disappeared from his view. “You live around here?”

Yuuji was caught off guard and didn’t realize you were talking to him for a while until you repeated your question. “Ah, yes! I live around the corner.”

“I’ll do my best to impress you so you’ll buy coffee from here every day.” Your tone wasn’t flirty. It was friendly and inviting, actually welcoming.

“That’s a good business tactic,” he said, matching your tone. “But I’m not that easy to impress.”

“Isn’t my prices enough to impress you? They’re rather cheap for the service you get and I’m not even talking about the quality of my products.” You reappeared with a plastic coffee mug, it had ice and apparently black coffee in it. You poured some sort of golden cream over the coffee on the counter where he could see it.

Like hypnotized, Yuuji watched with his mouth wide open as the two colors mixed in a gradient effect in his drink before you put a lid on it.

“Was that good enough?” you asked, proudly. “To impress you I mean.”

“Y-yeah.” He reached and took the drink you set on the counter. He was carefully examining the colors in awe when he abruptly realized that he hadn’t even paid yet. Hastily he dug his hand in his pocket and took out his wallet, “I’ll come here more often I think if I like the drink of course.”

“Hmm, you’ll like it so I’m not worried.” You smiled as he paid with his credit card. “See you later…” Furrowing your burrows, you looked at him so he would fill in.

“Itadori,” he introduced himself, blushing. “Yuuji Itadori.”

“(name),” you said, offering a cute smile. “Have a nice day, Itadori.”

“Y-you too.” He waved awkwardly and you did the same with a giggle. It was clear that he was a little overwhelmed.

By the time Yuuji exited the shop, he hadn’t realized how hard he was blushing or how he had forgotten to even try his drink. Then he blushed even harder realizing how embarrassing he acted back in the shop but he shook his head to get over those thoughts.

Decidedly, he took a sip from his coffee and immediately understood why you were so confident that he would be back to buy more.

~~~

The next day, it wasn’t exactly the incredible coffee you had sold him yesterday that brought him here.

It was you.

He was trying to convince himself that wasn’t the case though.

However, Sukuna knew the truth.

~~~

“Being single sucks!” Yuuji complained with a whine after slamming his empty glass on the table.

“You should try those dating apps if you really want a girlfriend,” Fushiguro replied and flicked the ash off his cigarette on the ashtray.

“I agree, Itadori, if you really are determined to be in a relationship then you should try meeting new people.” Yuuta fanned the smoke Fushiguro blew towards him away using his hand with a forced smile.

Inumaki nodded in agreement, continuing to munch on the salted crackers and avoiding drinking.

“It’s easy for all of you with pretty girlfriends to say!” Panda cried, “It’s only me and Itadori who’s single.” He wrapped his big arms around Yuuji and started rocking back and forth.

“You can always book a flight to China to meet with a female Panda?” Yuuji said in a confused tone, “Or the zoo?”

Panda froze and loosened his arms around Yuuji before pushing him away from himself. “That was rude.”

“Huh?” Yuuji raised a brow, still confused.

“His type is more… humane, I think.” Yuuta scratched at his cheeks and raised his brows, hoping that Panda would deny what he just said but he didn’t.

“Wait.” Yuuji’s eyes widened, “So, you’re telling me that it would actually work between you and a human, or is it-”

“Itadori,” Fushiguro said to stop Yuuji from delving deeper into the uncomfortable topic. “Leave Panda’s love life alone.”

“Hmm, why did you bring up the topic of wanting to get a girlfriend?” Yuuta asked, humming thoughtfully. “Do you have someone you like?”

“Deja vu,” Panda mumbled under his breath, nobody heard him.

As soon as the question was asked to him, Yuuji thought of one single person; you. The image of your smile and your cheerful voice. It was just a simple crush, the two of you were total strangers. Yet, he was still thinking about you right now and couldn’t get you out of his mind.

He suppressed all of those thoughts and noticed how everyone was looking at him, waiting for his answer.

“No, I don’t,” Yuuji replied.

~~~

Unlike Sukuna, Yuuji was an inexperienced young man. He was a celibate too. Which meant that to him, sexual desires had to come after love. The feelings of love and affection were important when it came to sex. Having sex was an act of love and a form of affection, to prove to the person he was involved with that he was devoting himself to them.

Pathetic.

The kid had already grown up to be an adult but still had the mentality of a child.

Sukuna knew he could help.

~~~

“You’re coming here more often now,” Sukuna pointed out. “Is it because you know the server likes you?”

“No, she doesn’t like me,” Yuuji deadpanned. He pouted cutely seconds later and watched you walk over to his table holding a tray with his drink on it with a bright smile. “I’m here only because this place makes the best coffee.”

“Here you go,” you chirped, putting Yuuji’s drink on the table. Your friendly smile and gorgeous eyes wandered on his face for a moment longer than usual. “Let me know if you need anything else.”

“Thank you.” He was blushing.

You flashed him another stunning smile before turning around on your heels.

“She’s into you,” Sukuna declared.

Yuuji ignored Sukuna’s words and stared after you as you walked back to the counter to take another order. His eyes couldn’t leave the way your hips moved with each step you took.

Sukuna’s lips on Yuuji’s hand grinned before disappearing.

~~~

“The girl looks like her,” Sukuna said.

“Will you be quiet?” Yuuji groaned and slapped his cheek so he would go away.

It was silent, he smiled to himself. Finally, he had some privacy.

The porn actress spread her legs and Yuuji wrapped his left hand around his cock after licking his palm as he was holding his phone with his right. He slid his fist up along his length and squeezed tightly towards the tip. The pressure felt the best when he applied it to the sensitive tip.

Loud moans coming from the actress filled his apartment since he hadn’t bothered to put on headphones. Not that he needed them when he was living alone but it was a habit now. So, he lowered the volume.

However, there was another reason why he didn’t need to hear the moans of the actress.

“She doesn’t sound like her, does she?” Sukuna made fun of him.

Yuuji ignored him and didn’t bother to tell him that it wasn’t the case. He just needed to cum and go to bed, that was it. He was too used to Sukuna interrupting his self-care time at this point and if the King of Curses didn’t mind watching a guy jerk off to some cheap porn, so be it. They were sharing Yuuji’s body and mind. Or not?

Yuuji focused on the video as the girl bent over and started fingering herself in an awkward position. His hand around his cock started moving to match the way her fingers went in and out of her cunt.

She really looked like you.

Wasn’t that why he had chosen this video?

Nevermind. Forget about it.

He had read or heard somewhere that masturbating with the non-dominant hand could give more pleasure. It was something he had done when he was only a teenager to try it out but now he liked to use his left hand.

It felt different, sometimes his hand went numb and it felt like someone else was touching him. You were touching him.

You.

This had to be how a handjob felt, if you ever gave him a handjob it would definitely feel like this.

Yuuji dropped the phone and closed his eyes, only focusing on his fantasies about you while jerking himself off. His hand moved faster while his hips were desperately thrusting up as if to mimic fucking you.

You would tease him, wouldn’t you? Stare at him with a grin, edge him and even slow down just to make him whine.

Or perhaps you would get rid of your clothes hurriedly to ease yourself down on his cock. Were you a virgin? You would be his first, he would want you to be your first too.

Were you the type to whimper or moan during sex?

Where would you place your hands?

Would you move your hips?

Which position would make you lose yourself?

He would want to be on top, so he could watch your face and kiss you.

What kind of face would you make?

Would you be blushing and moaning?

The image of your eyes overflowing with tears while your face was being stained with the same tears and your ruined makeup appeared within his mind.

Yuuji abruptly came harder than he ever had in his whole life and his seed landed on his stomach, his orgasm left his legs shaking in pleasure.

~~~

He didn’t go to the coffee shop the day after from embarrassment.

~~~

“You weren’t here yesterday,” you remarked while making his drink. “I was sure you were going to be here after I made you my new drink on the menu.”

“Ahh, I was just busy and didn’t have time to swing by.” It was a simple lie and it wasn’t like he could ever tell you that he was scared of himself after he came to his fantasy of seeing you cry. “I didn’t think you’d miss me this much.”

“Well, you’re my only loyal customer,” you pouted and put his drink on the counter. Nobody else was in the shop, another coffee place had opened just around the corner. “You always drink my special brew coffee too. It’s like an honor to me that you like my coffee.”

“It’s the best coffee I’ve ever had,” his reply was instantaneous and honest. “I like this place, I can tell how much love you put into making your drinks and it feels cozy here.”

You were grinning, “Mm, tell me more. Praise me more. What else?”

He started smirking but his blush ruined the smug face he was making. “Never mind, you’re weirding me out.”

“Hey! I was just asking you what else you like about my place! What’s weird about wanting to know how I can make this place better?” you feigned anger.

He wanted to tell you that he was only coming here for you. Wait, no. He came here for the coffee. Nothing else.

“What about making new drinks every week? They’d sell more and you’d get to try out new things?” he said after careful thinking.

“That’s actually a good idea, thank you, Itadori!”

Ahh, the way you said his name… Yuuji wanted to hear you say his name again and again. Over and over again.

“It’s nothing,” he replied, rubbing his neck nervously with his hand. “I’m just trying to help.”

~~~

It started with small words of encouragement.

“That woman likes you, I can tell from the way she smiles at you. Talk to her more and befriend her.”

“It’s not like you to say nice things,” Yuuji said, averting his gaze from yours in embarrassment when you looked his way. He hoped you hadn’t caught him looking. “Besides, she’s just a server. It’s her job to attract customers with a smile and sweet talk.”

“Every server needs a master,” Sukuna spoke through Yuuji’s hand. Nobody could see him since the guy had his hand pressed against his ear. “She doesn’t look at you the same way she looks at the other peasants here.”

Yuuji didn’t say anything.

~~~

His finger hovered over the follow button.

”That’s her?” Sukuna asked, his ancient soul was getting used to the technology he saw his vessel was using. “Those are her pictures?”

“Yeah.” Yuuji gulped, nodding languidly. It would be weird if he followed you, right? He had found your account by chance. Not because he found the account of your coffee shop and then scrolled through the following list to find a friend of yours and then searched through their following list to find your name to eventually find your account. Only by chance.

“She looks different in the pictures.” Sukuna was right. You were smiling as usual but you weren’t wearing your cafe uniform. You were wearing normal clothes. Clothes that revealed more of your skin, your shoulders, legs, thighs, and in some pictures your cleavage. There was a smug look on your face when you were looking at the camera as if you knew whoever was looking at these pictures was admiring your beauty.

“Yeah, she does.” He was now looking at a picture of you in a dress that fit you just right, showing your curves he hadn’t noticed in your uniform.

“She’s beautiful.” Sukuna could sense the intensity of his vessel’s stare at your picture.

“Yeah.”

“I’d save that picture if I were you.” Sukuna grinned.

Yuuji took a screenshot.

~~~

“You should be more assertive if you want her to consider you as a man,” Sukuna said as Yuuji was walking towards the coffee shop. “Women like confident men.”

“You come from the ancient times, this is the new age. Women are equal with men and I want her to feel-”

“Women want men. Not boys. Definitely not brats like you.” Sukuna disappeared when his vessel entered the coffee shop.

Yuuji sighed in a dismissive manner, “Whatever you say.”

~~~

Women want men.

~~~

“What do women like in a man?” Yuuji asked.

The happy laughter of the guys died out as soon as he asked that and the loud chatter of the other people inside the bar couldn’t fill the dead silence Yuuji created.

They were all looking at each other around the table now. Nobody wanted to talk.

“I guess they like guys who are assertive,” Yuuta responded when no one else did. “Megumi, why don’t you say something? What does your girlfriend like about you?”

Fushiguro was inanimate as he stubbed out his cigarette on the ashtray and took a long moment to consider what he was going to say. “She said that likes that I’m possessive and get jealous when she talks to other guys.”

“Hmm, possessive and jealous...” Yuuta nodded and then turned to Inumaki. “And your girlfriend liked that she can depend on you, right?”

“Salmon.”

“There you have it,” Yuuta concluded. “They like possessive guys who they can depend on!”

“What about you, Okkotsu?” Yuuji asked. “What does your girlfriend like about you?”

The person in question looked a little lost and taken aback that he was being asked. He had to take a deep breath to keep his facial expressions normal. “She likes that I take control.”

“How?” Yuuji was desperate.

“Isn’t that a bit invasive question, Itadori?” Fushiguro warned in a soft tone.

“It’s not invasive at all!” Yuuta forced a laugh and spoke in the same joking manner. “It means that I was a little pushy and bold, I think?”

Both Fushiguro and Inumaki started agreeing.

“I see.” Yuuji realized that Sukuna was right.

~~~

“Isn’t that her picture?”

Yuuji ignored him and continued rubbing his cock.

His hand started moving faster, his eyes were trained on the picture of you, eyes roaming on your body and imagining how it would feel to run his hands along your curves.

“She looks like she’d love taking it from her ass.”

“Shut up, she’s not like that!” he immediately protested. His cheeks were bright red from shame. He had never done it to the pictures of the people he had met. Only celebrities. It didn’t feel right.

“She’s a woman. I know what women want and like.” Sukuna was confident. “I know exactly what she wants, unlike you.”

Yuuji tried blocking out the curse’s voice in his head and tightened his grip as well as his pace. He was imagining you again, eyes full of tears and you were twisting your body to push him weakly away with your tiny hands as he took you from behind.

Thanks to that fantasy, he came in an instant.

~~~

Yuuji was a good guy.

He was sacrificing his life to save others every day and he was going to be executed for the sake of saving humanity from the curses.

He could never be the bad guy.

~~~

“Welcome,” you chirped as soon as he walked through the door. “The usual?”

Yuuji awkwardly smiled and bowed his head to greet you. “Y-yeah.”

“Had a good day?” Turning around, you walked away from the counter to reach the coffee machine, disappearing from his view.

Yuuji made his way towards the counter and tried recalling how his day had been. He had exorcised a couple of curses and even got the opportunity to catch up with Fushiguro and his girlfriend when they ran into each other downtown. To put it simply, his day had been the worst. “It was a good day, how was yours?”

Dumb.

You were only making small talk because he was a regular here, nothing more. He knew people who worked in small coffee shops like this were always friendly to attract customers, to give a sense of home to people who come here for a drink or the tasty sweets. It was a marketing strategy.

“My day was tiring. I took your advice and put a new drink on the menu but apparently, it’s really good because everyone wanted to try it. However, the thing is… it’s so hard to make it!!” You appeared in front of him again with his drink and pointed behind you, at the menu displays. “I ran out of strawberries twice and had to call to ask my friend to go buy some from the store for me.”

“Woah, that sounds really exhausting!” he said in a tone to match your own while you were making a cutesy pouting face. “Hmm.” There was a momentary pause as he took his coffee from you and grinned. “I changed my mind, I also want to try this incredibly hard-to-make drink too.”

Your shoulders slacked and you gave an exaggerated sigh. “I thought you of all people would pity me…”

“I’m known for being ruthless,” he joked, chuckling. The smile on his face was genuine and he couldn’t stop smiling, it was as if he could never be in a bad mood around you. “But yes, I was joking. No need to call a friend to buy more strawberries or anything.”

You pointed a finger at him with mock threat and anger. “Don’t make fun of me or I won’t serve you again.”

“That’s better than threatening to spit in my coffee.” He tilted his head and shrugged.

“You said it as if I don’t do it all the time.” You raised a brow.

Both of you laughed but once the joke died out, there was an awkward silence.

“Anyway,” you said, gesturing towards one of the tables you clearly had wiped and cleaned because you were getting ready to close the place. “You can take a seat there if you wanna, I sadly have to finish up cleaning.”

When he looked around he could see that there was a mop you were planning to use. He didn’t want to disturb you any longer. It would be weird if he sat down when you were desperately trying to close the shop for the night.

It was rude and you were only being polite to him.

“I’ll drink this on the way home,” Yuuji replied with a nervous grin, and the tension from your shoulders visibly relaxed.

“Have a good evening!” you chirped after him as he turned around his heels.

“You too!” He exited the shop.

“Coward,” Sukuna spat.

“Please, be quiet.” Not again. Not this devil again.

“You could’ve fucked her against that counter. She was all over you, begging for you to make a move.” There was an undeniable smile in his voice.

“Be quiet, will you?” No. You were just an innocent girl. Someone who was nice to him because he came to buy coffee. He was just a customer.

“You, brat, are going to die as a celibate if you keep this up. Have you ever stick it inside a woman before? Do you have any idea of how heavenly a woman’s warmth is? The way they squirm and moan under you as they give you the look of an angel’s and beg for you to take it slow, cling onto you with tiny little hands-”

“Shut up!” Yuuji slammed the coffee on the concrete ground, his chest heaving in anger and frustration.

Some passersby stared at him and walked further away from where he was standing.

Sukuna disappeared with a smile.

Yuuji took a deep breath to calm himself.

~~~

The bells over the wooden door chimed, announcing his arrival.

“Hi!” you quickly yelled and appeared by the counter, your smile widened when you realized it was Yuuji. “The usual?”

“You don’t need to ask,” he replied, eyes softening and shoulders relaxing. He felt like himself in here, he felt at home.

“Did you have a good day?” you asked before disappearing behind the coffee machine.

“It was a bad day until I came here,” he said lumberingly, his cheeks flushed from nervousness. He was terrible at flirting.

You laughed, he couldn’t see your reaction but you sounded happy when you spoke. “Ahh, I’m glad I’m able to make you happy! It brings me joy when I manage to help others have a good day in one way or another!”

So kind and selfless.

The two of you were a perfect match.

Seconds later you were standing in front of him with his drink on top of the counter. “I hope you’ll have a great rest of the night, Itadori! I’m glad my coffee was able to help you feel better.”

He opened his mouth to say that it wasn’t the coffee that made him happy but he closed it when he realized how weird it would sound. “Thank you.”

~~~

“I like you and I think we should hang out sometime,” he said, smiling awkwardly. Seconds of silence passed and he slapped a hand on his face in embarrassment. After taking a deep breath he tried again. “Do you wanna go out for dinner this weekend?”

“You are acting like a brat,” Sukuna mocked. “Go up to her and tell her you to want to make her yours like a real man.”

Yuuji ignored him while staring at his reflection in the mirror and groaned. He hated when Sukuna said things that made sense.

His clothes were ironed and his hair was slicked back with the hair gel he had bought in a rush.

“You look pathetic.” Brutally honest, Sukuna’s voice had a tone of embarrassment in it. He was ashamed of living inside him.

“I look good.” Yuuji wasn’t going to let him ruin this moment. He was going to prove to everyone else that he could get the girl if he acted like himself. There was no need to be pretending something he wasn’t when it came to you. He knew you would want him to be honest.

“She’s going to reject you, brat. Don’t ridicule yourself and take my advice.”

“What’s your advice?” Yuuji scoffed, “Manhandle her?”

“You’re feeling the instinct of mating and lust,” Sukuna said. “You want to fuck her, you don’t want to make love to her or whatever the humans call it.”

“What?” Yuuji forced a smile on his face and laughed hysterically, “Are you even hearing what you’re saying?”

“Love isn’t real. Obsession, lust, and devotion are real though. You want to breed her. Don’t mix up libido with what peasants would call love.”

There was a grim pause.

“I like her,” Yuuji said. “She’s pretty and she seems like a nice person. Her smile is cute and-”

“Do whatever you want, brat,” Sukuna yawned, getting ready to disappear from Yuuji’s cheek. “Try not to throw a tantrum when you get rejected.”

“You were the one who told me to go up to her and make her mine?” Frustrated, Yuuji rolled his eyes in irritation.

“Making some woman yours doesn’t mean to woo her or make love to her. Are all brats the same as you? Don’t you know that women are pleasure dolls for men? They live to please men.” Sukuna was getting serious, he raised his voice with each sentence. “Women are like fish, they don’t have feelings.”

“That’s not true.” Yuuji’s voice got a little weaker than he had intended to. “You’re wrong.” It didn’t sound like he was denying what Sukuna had said and trying to convince himself that wasn’t the truth instead.

Sukuna disappeared from his cheek with a malicious grin.

Shaking his head to gather his thoughts, Yuuji quickly walked out of his room and exited his apartment.

It took him twenty minutes to get to the coffee shop when it usually took him barely ten minutes. He had gotten flowers for you. Not really sure which ones to get, he had chosen one of the pink and red bouquets on display. He was nervous and sweating. He had to wipe his palms down on his jeans to keep them dry way too many times, he had stopped counting after the seventh time.

He stood outside of the cafe, trembling in excitement. There weren't any windows at your coffee shop thus he couldn’t see if there were any customers inside. He could only hope that it would be just the two of you alone since there was something very special he needed to tell you.

I love you.

He grabbed the handle and opened the door. You were behind the counter, looking down at your phone. As soon as the bells over the door chimed you put it away and smiled, “Welcome!”

I love you.

Yuuji’s grip tightened around the bouquet he was holding, his cheeks started burning in nervousness.

“Woahh, you’re going on a date?” you asked while he walked up to the counter, your voice was as cheerful as ever. “I couldn’t recognize you, should I give you the usual?”

“Uhh, no.” He paused. When both of you stared at each other he realized how awkward and confusing his answer was. “Um, it’s not a date but I’m gonna ask the girl I like out.” His face was turning beet red.

“Aww, that’s so adorable! She’s so lucky, you’ve even bought her flowers, so cutee!!” You pressed a hand over your chest, feigning being hurt. “Ahh, my heart can’t handle it.”

“Y-yeah.” He blushed harder, shifting his weight on his feet nervously. “She’s one of the nicest people I’ve ever met.”

“You better treat her right then and I hope she’ll say yes.” You didn't miss the eyes on you and continued smiling in discomfort. “The usual?” you asked once it started getting a little too quiet and he nodded.

The uncomfortable silence started making Yuuji reconsider what to say or if he should say them at all. You put his coffee on the counter before he could take his time thinking.

“Is that all?” you asked as you were putting his order’s total into the cash register.

I love you.

“N-no,” he replied in a quiet voice while reluctantly taking out his wallet to pay for his coffee.

“I hope you have a lovely night, Itadori. Go get the girl!” you cheered him on with a cute smile.

“Actually,” he started, looking at you with his flushed cheeks and fidgeting with his fingers. “Ahh, (name), I wanted to tell you something.”

“Hmm, what is it?” You were smiling, watching him in confusion.

Yuuji decided that he shouldn’t beat around the bush at this moment because he wanted to seem confident. He knew if he didn’t spit it out now or else he would never say it. He had to get to the point and dive in ahead without any hesitation.

“I like you.”

Lifting the bouquet, he held it up towards you as you looked at him and then at the bouquet repeatedly with wide eyes but you didn’t seem shocked.

You opened your mouth to say something but closed it again.

“I mean, you’re such a nice person and I found myself always looking forward to seeing you. I think about you all the time and I can’t get you out of my head. I used to hate it here, it’s a large city with too many people… but then you took over this shop, and now I… don’t hate it that much.”

He was saying all that with a puffed chest and a big goofy grin on his face, his cheeks were blushing as he tried not to look nervous. However, when he saw the way your smile curled down to a frown as he kept on talking, it felt like someone poured iced water down his head.

Yuuji couldn’t breathe.

“Um, that’s flattering,” you said, forcing a smile on your face and taking the bouquet from him. “Were these for me?”

“Y-yeah.” He rubbed the back of his neck.

You nodded languidly, noticing that you were the girl he wanted to ask out. “I… I don’t know what to say. Thank you, I really appreciate it.” You couldn’t find the words that wouldn’t hurt him.

Gradually, he noticed how uncomfortable you looked and his smile disappeared from his face.

“I’m sorry but I’m not looking for a relationship, I’m really busy with working and taking care of this cafe but I appreciate your feelings.” You averted your gaze from him for a moment, a scoff left your lips. Were you laughing at him? “I apologize if my affable demeanor gave you the wrong idea but sadly I can’t return your feelings.”

He looked down to his feet to pull himself together, an icy shiver ran through him as he spoke. “Thank you for being honest with me.”

So childish.

“Of course,” you said, forcing a chuckle.

“I hope we can still be friends, I wouldn’t wanna lose you.” Yuuji was desperate, he couldn’t imagine a life without you.

“Of course!” you repeated with a louder forced chuckle. “I don’t want this to ruin our friendship!”

“Me neither.” He couldn’t lift his head or move, his body had turned to stone.

The pauses started to grow longer and eerily quiet. You were the one who spoke next.

“Thank you so much, Itadori, I’m flattered by your confession and I hope we can be close friends!” Pressing the bouquet on your chest and hugging it with both arms, you used a soft tone to talk to him. “I need to close down and catch the train home, I’ll see you later?”

“Yeah…” Yuuji turned around and walked out of the cafe without saying anything else, leaving the coffee he had paid for on the counter.

“I told you, didn’t I, brat?” Sukuna mocked, voice full of mischief as he appeared on his vessel’s cheek.

“Leave me alone,” Yuuji hissed. He was walking away from the coffee shop, not going home though, not yet. He needed to calm down.

“Women want to be ordered around, brat. They want men to take control. If you act like a brat, they won’t see you as a man.”

Yuuji’s breath hitched upon hearing Sukuna’s words. His knees started feeling weaker than they ever could but he had to stand proud, assert his dominance over the King of Curses and collect himself.

It wasn’t fair! It wasn’t fair that he was in this situation, it wasn’t fair that he was rejected, it wasn’t fair that he was cursed to live in despair. He was eventually going to get executed and he hadn’t had a youth where he fulfilled any of his dreams. He had wanted only one thing, to feel happy with one person and that childish wish must have been too much to ask. Not only he got rejected but now he had Sukuna making fun of him.

“You must be a man and make her yours.”

“She told me she didn’t want a relationship.” Yuuji couldn’t deal with him anymore. “We’re friends.”

“Do you want a woman for yourself or not, brat?” Sukuna sighed in irritation before humming thoughtfully. “I’ll help you,” he offered generously, “I’ll help you make her yours.”

“Leave me alone, Sukuna.” Yuuji was getting angrier, and soon he started to tremble in rage.

“Let me help you to get a taste of a woman, brat.”

“She rejected me-”

“She’s just playing hard to get. A woman like her wants to be chased. She didn’t tell you to get lost because she wants you to keep coming back to her so you’ll continue to give her your attention. That girl would spread her legs for anyone who gives her attention if she wasn’t a prude. She’s a virgin, that must be why she’s acting like this. I can smell it, the blood that’s yet to bleed once her innocence is taken. You need to take it, brat.”

“You want me to rape her, is that it?” Yuuji spat, he had never thought he would say those words out loud.

“I never said that, brat.” Sukuna let out a chuckle, lying. “Let me show you what I mean.”

“I’m not letting you take over my body,” he replied coldly.

“I don’t want to take over your body, that woman is yours,” Sukuna assured.

“Then, what do you want me to do?” Yuuji asked.

Sukuna grinned viciously, “Let's go back to where she works first.”

~~~

“Itadori-”

The door closed after him with a soft click.

You let out a frustrated sigh and pressed the bouquet against your chest, hugging them tightly.

That hadn’t gone well at all.

Your eyes landed on the coffee he forgot to take with him on the counter. “I’m the worst,” mumbling, you put the flowers on the counter to prepare the cafe for closing.

You took the paper coffee mug and poured it out, the dark liquid went down the sink as you watched, hypnotized and lost in your thoughts.

That guy… He wasn’t like any other you met. He was adorable and matched your energy like no other person ever had. You enjoyed being around Itadori and you were glad he felt the same but… he knew you for less than two weeks. He was clearly confused, he had made a friend who he managed to click instantly and mistook his feelings for love.

Nonetheless, you felt terrible. It was never easy to reject someone, especially when you were so busy trying to manage the coffee shop of your dreams you finally got to open.

Itadori had to understand that. He would understand, right?

Oh, he had looked so excited and nervous. He had even slicked his messy hair back and brought flowers…

You hoped he would get over it quickly or at least, he would come to the shop tomorrow so you could comfort him. The two of you needed to talk a little more, you needed for him to know that you didn’t want to break his heart. You felt the need to apologize, ahh, so stupid. You hadn’t even done anything wrong.

It hurt though.

It still hurt.

You hated making other people feel bad. You wanted to be the reason behind their smiles and laughter, not tears.

Packing your stuff and turning off the lights, you left the shop. The door was locked two times as usual before you hurried down the street towards the subway.

The station was packed more than usual and you immediately regretted not listening to your friend’s advice on renting that one apartment down the block. But complaining right now wasn’t going to get you home.

You hopped on the train and shielded the bouquet with your arms wrapped around it as you tried not to get crushed by the swarm of people getting on the train. Once the doors closed, you had successfully managed to find a place by the train door with a little space so you could avoid getting the bouquet crushed.

Facing the doors, you stared out the small window, it was dark but every second or another a light would zoom in and out. You weren’t sure if they were there for navigating or not but you found yourself too focused on the lights as the sudden brake of the train made you stumble forward.

When you regained your balance to stand up straight, there was someone behind you. They were a little too close but it was nothing out of the ordinary, you always found yourself being pressed against other people during rush hours in the subway.

At the next stop, the doors on the opposite side opened and another swarm of people filled the train. Now, the person behind you was trapping you between their body and the door that was in front of you.

You were showing extra carefulness to not let the bouquet get crushed, you wanted to take it home in one piece without anything happening to it. These flowers were beautiful, they smelled amazing too. You wanted to cherish them even if you hadn’t managed to cherish Itadori’s feelings.

As you were inspecting the bouquet you saw a small card that was attached to one of the flowers. You checked it and realized what it was.

It was Itadori’s phone number and a cute little heart drawn next to it with a small message.

‘I’d love to hear more of your voice and complaints about work in private!!’

You didn’t realize you were smiling at the note until something brought you out of your trance.

A voice to be exact.

“Your lover got them to you?” A husky voice asked.

Lifting your head, you stared at the small window. From the almost transparent reflection on the window, you could see that the guy behind you had talked. You couldn’t see his face from his hoodie covering his features but you could tell that he was talking to you.

“Um, not really,” you replied. It wasn’t abnormal to you that other people made small talk to you, you talked to strangers more than anyone else every day. You always overshared anyway. “They are from a close friend.”

“He must love you.” There was an undeniable smile in his voice.

You forced a chuckle, looking down in front of you. “Y-yeah.”

When the train braked abruptly, he got closer. “Touch her-” It was a whisper from the same guy, you were unable to make out the words clearly but you decided to ignore him for the rest of the ride. You needed to get off in twenty minutes and were too tired to act friendly.

That was when you felt the back of his hand brushing against your ass.

You froze, before you could call it an accident and blame it on the crowded train, he pressed the back of his hand more purposefully on the soft flesh.

Fear paralyzed your body and you found yourself at a loss of words. You didn’t know what to do, you wanted to move away but you were trapped between him and the door.

“You’re not gonna ask for help?” he asked, leaning forward to mock you.

It was too humiliating and you were unable to think of anything. Somehow, you shook your head to tell him to stop because your voice wouldn’t come out. You pressed the bouquet harder against your chest in panic, praying to whoever was listening that the guy would stop.

You heard him say something but every other voice was muffled now, it was as if your ears were filled with cotton.

The only thing you did was to hope that you could muster up the courage to push him away and get out on the next stop.

Why was this happening to you?

Why?

“See, I told you.” Sukuna scoffed as Yuuji’s entire face was beet red. “She’s not even gonna ask for help because she wants you to continue.”

Yuuji saw your blushed cheeks in the reflection in the window, you were breathing heavily and standing still.

He couldn’t believe what he was seeing.

When Sukuna convinced him to follow you into the subway train and let him do the talking, he was conflicted because he wasn’t sure what the King of Curses wanted to prove but now, he knew.

“Women live to be conquered by men,” Sukuna concluded, “Do you understand it now or should I elaborate more?”

Yuuji was quiet.

“She’ll bend down and beg for you to fuck her right now if you continue touching her.”

You wouldn’t.

Right?

Using his whole hand, Yuuji groped your ass while trembling from dismay but he couldn’t forethought the way you reacted being anything other than screaming for help or pushing him away.

Instead of fighting back or doing anything he had thought you would, you mewled and stayed exactly where you were.

They were all right.

Fushiguro, Inumaki and Yuuta. They were all right.

Sukuna was more than right. He had been trying to help him but Yuuji was too blind to see it.

“Check her cunt, I bet she’s soaking wet.” Sukuna had said to mock his vessel. He didn’t expect for him to move his hand between your legs and under your skirt to press his fingers against your clothed pussy. Neither did you.

Letting out a squeal, you hunched forward, pressing your legs together in panic as his digits moved along your clothed slit that was completely damp.

He started rubbing his fingers between your folds, your juices soaked your panties and made sloppy sounds each time he moved his digits.

“I can hear it from here, did you wet yourself, or are you this wet for me?” Sukuna laughed audibly.

You shook your head, slouching further down and trying to move away from Yuuji’s hands.

“Women aren’t good liars,” Sukuna said as Yuuji slouched forward with you and pressed himself against your ass. “You’re aching to have a cock inside you, no?”

“Please,” you begged. You wanted him to stop.

“Oh, look, she’s asking so politely to be filled with a cock.” Sukuna made fun of your misery while watching the brat finally grow into a man.

Yuuji was sure Sukuna had taken over his body because he would never hump the girl he liked as he was fingering her over her clothes in a train. In public, he reminded himself, in a train and in public where nobody seemed to care.

His hands were moving on their own, he hooked a finger under the elastic edge of your panties to pull them to the side.

“W-wait, please,” you whispered in a weak voice, finally using a hand to grab his wrist to try to pull him away from your pussy. You weren’t strong or convincing enough though.

Yuuji slipped his fingers inside you and grinded his growing erection against your ass, earning a surprised moan out of you.

The hand that was grabbing his wrist immediately went to cover your mouth to suppress your voice as he started humping you to deliberately mimic fucking you.

“Please, stop…” Your voice was fainter than a whisper behind your hand.

“You say that but you’re pitifully trembling in anticipation.” His lips were brushing against the shell of your ear but it was as if he wasn’t using his mouth to talk.

“I’m not…” You pressed your legs together and trapped his hand between your thighs while he twirled his digits around inside you.

“Lying isn’t cute, you know.” There was a smile in his deep voice, “Come on try harder to lie and make me believe you don’t want it.” He dragged his tongue along the shell of your ear, earning a surprised but muffled moan from you.

Yuuji brought his other hand up to cup your breast over your shirt, his cock was painfully hard against his jeans, and the knowledge of him touching his crush was too much for him to handle. He could cum in his pants if he wasn’t careful enough. Sukuna was saying the most vulgar things to you but instead of pushing him away, you were staying exactly where you were. It was fascinating to see how much you were begging to be touched.

It disturbed him a little, would you let any stranger touch you like this? Would you be this wet for anyone?

Yuuji didn’t want to know the answer but Sukuna did.

“Come on, be honest. Would you be this keen to be fucked by any man or is it because it’s me?” Sukuna asked, he was barely holding himself to switch with the brat, he loved corrupting innocent souls like you. He loved seeing the painful and pathetic cries they would let out as their faces were stained with tears.

You shook your head rapidly as his fingers inside you curled to rub a sweet spot you didn’t know existed.

“So, does that mean you wouldn’t want to be fucked by anyone but me?” Sukuna laughed while Yuuji let out a low groan, grinding harder against your ass, humping you roughly.

“N-nooo,” you were sobbing now, tears started running down your cheeks.

“Good girl… You’re finally being honest. You hear that? She would never want to be fucked by anyone but me.”

“T-that’s not what I meant…”

It was fun to tease girls like you. Sukuna could feel your fear and took incredible joy from hearing your voice crack. “Now, that’s cute… I wanna hear you cry out my name in your cute voice too.”

Yuuji groaned, shaking his head as if Sukuna was going to listen to him.

“S-Sukuna,” he mocked your crying. “Come on, say it just like that and beg for me to fuck you.”

Your body was shaking in fear, your cries only spurred him on and you didn’t know what to do. “P-please stop, S-Sukuna.” The way you whimpered his name, there was no way Sukuna could hold back.

“You better take her innocence before I do it myself, brat.” Sukuna was a man of his word, he had promised the brat to not touch you but if he didn’t man up and fucked you here, he would have no choice but to do it himself. He would never let a girl’s innocence go to waste. The blood of purity was something holy for curses like him. It was the nectar of the gods from the most ancient times, something that could only be attained by the perfect innocent virgins.

“Don’t you dare,” Yuuji spat, speaking for the first time. “She’s mine.”

You didn’t hear him though. His fingers were thrusting in and out of you vigorously while he was humping you and fondling your tit. Your walls clenched around his digits as he moved his hand on your chest between your bodies to impatiently pull the front of his pants down.

Realizing what was about to happen when he finally pulled his cock free and hiked your skirt up, you stared at your reflection on the window, crying and begging him to stop.

Yuuji froze momentarily, pulling his fingers out of you. He could see your expression in the window but you couldn’t see his face. He was stunned by seeing your cheeks wet with tears and mascara running down to ruin more of your makeup, it was… it was purely so erotic and better than his fantasies.

He slammed his hips forward and buried the entire length of his cock in your pussy.

Your virgin walls squeezed tightly around him and the sharp pain of your hymen being torn made fresh tears run down your cheeks. Your hand covering your mouth went to the door in front of you to keep your balance because of the ferocity of his thrust. Your lips parted to scream in pain but his fingers being shoved inside your mouth stopped you.

You tasted your bitter juices on his fingers as he twirled them around your tongue, catching the muscle between his knuckles.

Yuuji felt lightheaded by the fact that he was actually having sex with his crush, on top of all that, you were both each others’ first. He knew he was going to cherish this memory forever and even though he would have liked to do it in a bed with the lights off, this was fine too.

It didn’t matter where he was as long as he had his cock inside of you.

With a moan, he staggeringly pulled his hips back to abruptly slam into your pussy. The blood of your innocence acted as a lubricant, made it easier for him to slip inside, and made a sloppy sound each time he thrust inside.

You could feel his entire weight settle on your back while he nuzzled against the side of your neck before he shakily licked the sensitive skin to get a taste of you. Instinctively, you tried moving your head away from his mouth but his fingers in your mouth prevented you. To put it simply, you were trapped and were at his mercy.

He picked up a discreet but still desperate pace to fuck you, he was still cautious of the two of you being in public but he was still delirious to be having sex with you. Sex. Did it always feel this good? Were you feeling good too? You wanted it, he knew you did because you told Sukuna you wanted it.

Slamming his hips forward, he knocked the air out of your lungs, you gasped on his fingers, drooling all over yourself from having your mouth forcefully kept open by his long digits.

Yuuji was hopeless to mark his territory, to mark you as his. He wanted everyone to know that you belonged to someone when they looked at you. You were his and only his.

His cock grew bigger inside you at the thought of him owning you. He started fucking you frantically, no longer bothering if the people around had noticed or not. Your cunt tightened around his cock and you felt his teeth sink into the sensitive flesh of your neck. He bit hard, hard enough to draw blood and leave you trembling in numbing pain.

Your eyes rolled to the back of your head as the tip of his cock hit a sweet spot and your legs shook uncontrollably under you, they were struggling to carry your weight.

His teeth sank deeper into your flesh and you dropped the bouquet you were holding against your chest to involuntarily arch your back instead. He chewed on your skin as he felt your virgin walls pulsate around his cock, you were begging to be filled with his seed, weren’t you?

Women were nothing but a bunch of breeding holes anyway. They all acted like innocent angels when deep down they all were whores. Pleasure toys for men. They lived to please men, didn’t they?

You lived to please Yuuji, didn’t you?

Yuuji pulled his hand out from your mouth and stopped biting you. He licked the blood from your neck to focus on fucking you with frenzied thrusts instead. All of his inexperience and desperation were behind his thrusts, along with his entire weight, forcing you to take the very shape of his cock and never forget the girth of it.

Continuing to peppering small kisses on your neck, he started angling his hips just right to hit the spot that made your knees unbuckle. One, two, three thrusts, and your legs were a shaking mess. You moaned in response before he wrapped an arm around you to keep you up on your feet.

“It feels good, doesn’t it?” Sukuna spoke suddenly, startling both of you. “You shouldn’t hold back anymore.”

Yuuji wasn't sure which one of you he was talking to but he kept on nodding and moving his hips.

“Nobody else is going to hear you, give me an honest answer,” Sukuna was chuckling. “How does it feel?”

How does it feel to be fucked?

How does it feel to be fucked on a train?

How does it feel to be fucked in public?

How does it feel to have your innocence taken away?

How does it feel to indulge the darker parts of your mind?

Yuuji’s hips stuttered when your walls clenched around him tightly as you refused to answer.

“I won’t know how it feels if you don’t tell me, (name).”

Your mouth popped open and you moaned upon hearing your name. How did he know your name?

As soon as he thrust into your pussy, you forgot about it and let out a moan.

Were you always this depraved?

He continued fucking you frantically. His pace was faster and more ruthless, he was close. With each thrust of his hips, he left you moaning in involuntary pleasure but there was no denying that it felt good.

It felt so good.

“Tell me, (name).”

It felt so good.

“Come on, tell me.”

“Please,” you begged. It feels so good. Feels so good.

“That’s not what I wanna hear,” Sukuna murmured. “Come on now.”

The automated voice announced the next stop.

“Hurry it up already.” He was getting impatient.

“It feels so good,” you whimpered, defeated.

“Good girl,” Sukuna grinned before disappearing from Yuuji’s cheek.

The shame overwhelmed all of your senses and you looked at your reflection in the window once more, you caught a glimpse of your aroused expression. You were such a whore.

Yuuji slammed his hips forward one last time and you felt the small twitch of his balls against your skin before his cock twitched, spurting thick ropes of cum inside you.

The train stopped and he pulled out of you.

His seed started gushing out of your pussy before starting to trickle down your legs. Most of the bodily fluid had pooled under you and when you fell hard on the ground, they soaked into your skirt.

The guy who assaulted you was nowhere to be seen as the doors of the train on the other side opened. Many people hopped off the train but nobody paid any attention to you and you were sure they had been oblivious to what had happened. Nobody would care anyway.

A sob tore out of you and you tried getting up. Your legs were like jelly but as you managed to stand up, you noticed the bouquet you had dropped. More tears started to come out, they blurred your vision and you found yourself grabbing it from the ground.

Thankfully, it wasn’t crushed.

The train doors closed and it started moving forward while you were trying to fix your skirt.

Ah, that was your stop…

You sobbed again but pressed a hand over your mouth to not disturb anyone. Your crying didn’t stop even after you got off of the train on the next stop. You wanted to call someone to help you get back home because you weren’t sure if you could make it alone. Your legs were hurt, the throbbing pain coming from between your legs wouldn’t let you walk or stand up.

You weren’t going to tell them what had happened. Nobody could know. You didn’t need their pity. You were too ashamed.

Sitting on a bench, you scrolled down your contacts but none of the names there would help you. Not unless they had something to gain from it. Wasn’t that why you dropped everything and moved here to open a coffee shop?

How pathetic of you.

People only used you for your kindness.

You shifted on your seat and something slipped out from the bouquet. When you picked it up, you noticed that it was the note Itadori had written for you.

There was an ugly pause before you dialed the unknown number and a familiar voice responded.

“Hey,” he sounded awkward. Of course, he would, you rejected him. “What’s up?”

“Itadori,” you whimpered, voice cracking. Immediately, you cursed yourself for being this pathetic.

“A-are you o-okay? W-what happened?”

Bursting into tears once again, you only told him that you only needed help in shame after clearing your throat.

It took him barely fifteen minutes to arrive at the station to get you. You wiped your tears as soon as he came into your view. He was breathless, face beet red from running.

“You okay?” he asked in between breaths. “I ran here as fast as I could.”

He ran here.

Has anyone cared for you this much?

“Yeah, thank you and ahh, I… This is embarrassing… I twisted my ankle and needed help getting home.” You were never a good liar but you hoped he was gullible enough to believe it. “I know it’s weird to call you here but none of my friends would come if I called-”

“Ah, it’s no problem!” He rubbed the back of his neck nervously and chuckled. He had been worried for nothing. “I can carry you, that’s what friends are for, right?!”

You nodded and bit your lip to prevent yourself from crying. He was too kind. Too similar to you.

“Want me to carry you on my back? Or like this?” He emphasized his words by holding his hands in front of himself to show you that he was offering to carry you bridal style.

“Yeah, that would be better.” You masked the shame with a fake smile. You were embarrassed that you were pathetic to ask him for help even after you rejected him earlier tonight.

He smiled and took a step closer towards the bench. You wrapped your arms around his neck as he slid his arm under the back of your knees and placed a hand on your back to support you as he lifted you up to take you home.

You were grateful that you had a friend like him in your life.

~~~

The next day Yuuji came to the coffee shop to take your offer from the last night about giving him a free coffee drink of his choice.

You served him his coffee with a smile and sat with him on one of the tables, talking about your day as he listened to you complain.

In the end, Sukuna was right, Yuuji realized.

Women were begging to be fucked. Women secretly wanted it and that was why you were acting indifferent after all that happened the day before.

He had been worried over nothing, besides, he needed to be more confident and assertive like everyone told him to be. Then he would get the girl. That was what every article he read online, all of his friends and people around him told him. That was what Sukuna told him.

“Wanna go get dinner after you close the place?” he asked, taking a mouthful of his coffee.

“I need to clean and it might take a long while-”

“I’ll help,” he replied, smiling. “Everything’s on me.”

How could you say no to that? How could you say no to anything he had to say?

In your eyes, he was the nicest guy in the world.

Were you really going to pass on the opportunity to have him in your life?

“It’s a date then?” You were grinning, cheeks flushing as you said it. Slowly, you placed your hand over his on the table.

Yuuji gave you a blank stare, something sinister sparkled deep within his eyes but you couldn’t see it. Unbeknownst to you, his other hand under the table had a mouth on it that had an unsettling grin on it too. It was funny how clueless you were. Nonetheless, Yuuji took your hand in his to give you a reassuring squeeze and made you blush harder before agreeing, “It’s a date.”

#idk if i should tag this with the characters tbh this was too dark for me...#i won't tag it cuz i don't want anyone reading this lmao anywayy #i know my endings suck but yeah <3 #panda x munkey fic coming up next <333 #anywayyyy going inactive again byeeee <3

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yourlocalfictionalenthusiast · 4 years ago

Text

IN LIFE, IN DEATH...

PART THREE

Part One, Part Two

Warnings: just some swearing

May 1995

“We’re totally gonna get a record deal!”

Luke said for the tenth time in the past hour as he bounced in his seat.

It was Friday night and normally, you would all be messing around at the park, the beach, or just watching a movie in the studio. But when your phone rang and it was the booking manager for the Orpheum telling you that Sunset Curve is officially the new opener next month, the boys insisted on being there the second your shift at the diner was over.

So instead of arguing about having another Star Wars marathon or playing at the pier, you were all packed in your regular booth at Cece’s for celebratory milkshakes. You sat on the very edge of the booth, practically falling asleep on Alex. Ever since you got the call that morning, every cell in your body felt supercharged with excitement.

But now that the day was coming to an end, you could hardly stay awake enough to pay attention to the conversation.

Bobby, who was in your usual spot, pinched Luke’s arm. “Don’t jinx it, dude.”

“It’s not jinxing if you know for sure.” Luke said. “I mean, we’re awesome! And we’ve worked so hard to get to this point. It’s all gonna pay off.”

As much as you wanted to believe him, you were still nervous. There was nothing you were prouder of than your music, and you knew that a crowd that big would be good for gaining a lot of new fans. But the idea of that many people seeing you perform and hearing your lyrics was nerve-wracking.

You could tell the others felt the same way. Bobby was biting his nails, Alex was bouncing his leg so hard it almost hit the table and Reggie was slumped against the wall. Luke just stared at all of you, his bright smile never fading.

He snapped his fingers so loud that you jumped at the noise, then he started digging in his pockets. “I know what’ll cheer you guys up.”

Luke pulled out a safety pin, then brought its point down into the table, his tongue poking out of the side of his mouth in concentration. After a few minutes, he brushed off the table and presented his design proudly. It was four words in huge slanted letters.

‘SUNSET CURVE WAS HERE’

“Seriously, Luke?” Alex said, his eyes wide. “Cece’s gonna kill you!”

Luke just smirked and handed him the pin, gesturing to the space under the words. “‘C’mon, man. You’re up first.”

It took a lot of convincing, but Alex eventually gave in, and one by one, you all signed your names.

‘Alex,

Bobby

Reggie

Luke

(Y/N)’

You heard the sound of Cece’s heels hitting the floor as she exited the kitchen. Panicking, you shoved the pin in your pocket just in time as she came up to the table.

Before she could even see that anything was different, Reggie pointed at Luke.

“He did it!”

Cece frowned before inspecting the table, letting out a deep sigh and putting her hands on her hips.

“Are you vandalizing my diner, Patterson?”

Luke paled. “It was a group effort.”

“But it was your idea,” Alex said with a smirk, no doubt trying to pin the blame on Luke to keep his spot as Cece’s favorite. You had to bury your head into his shoulder to contain your laughter.

You could tell from the way that she was struggling to keep a straight face that Cece wasn’t actually mad but you weren’t gonna tell Luke that. He tried to kick Alex’s leg under the table but he hit yours instead. You hissed in pain and Luke paled even further.

“Shit, sorry, (Y/n).”

“And abusing my staff?” Cece joked, shaking her head.

Luke flashed her a charming smile as he rubbed the back of his neck. “Sorry, Cece. Just got a little excited.”

“I can see that.” She laughed then turned to you. “Hey. Get up. I got you something.”

You looked up at her in confusion but she didn’t offer you any answer as you dragged yourself up. Cece pulled a small blue box out from behind her back and handed it to you. “What’s the occasion?”

Cece rolled her eyes. “Just open it.”

The first thing you saw was a folded piece of paper with your name on it, under it was a silver key. You picked it up and held it in between your fingers as you carefully unfolded the paper to see three words in Cece’s careful handwriting.

just in case

You looked up at her, eyebrows knitted together. “Cece?”

She just winked as she put her hand on your cheek. “Honey, you know that I couldn’t have more faith in you and your rockstar dreams. But just in case things don’t work out...well, I couldn’t imagine giving this place to anyone else.”

You flew into her arms and hugged her so tight it was a little painful. Of course, all you wanted was for Sunset Curve to get signed to a label and take over the world. But this place was like home to you and the idea of owning it some day made your heart swell. “Thank you!”

The booth erupted in cheers and Cece playfully glared at them as she tucked you under her arm. “But you have to promise you’ll keep these boys of yours from doing any more damage to the property.”

Bobby scoffed. “Hey, we’re not-”

You slapped your hand over his mouth before nodding at Cece. “I’ll try my best.”

The bell on the door jingled to announce the arrival of another customer, and Cece left to greet them. You twirled the key around in your hand and looked at the boys' smiling faces, unable to hide your own.

As you settled back in the booth and took a sip of your milkshake, you couldn’t help but feel like everything was coming together.

2020

L.A was somehow so different, yet exactly the way you remembered.

The way the bright lights flooded the streets, to the way that every surface you see was decorated with a piece of art, made you anxious to re-explore the city you loved so much.

You couldn’t help but stare through your swinging legs at the crowds walking around below, listening to the soft buzzing of the Orpheum’s sign above your head.

An hour ago when Luke had suggested walking around the city, you figured you would end up here eventually. But now that you were actually here, you couldn’t help the hollow feeling that settled in your stomach.

It must’ve shown on your face because Luke launched into one of his motivational speeches. “C’mon, guys. I know being dead wasn’t our first choice. But you gotta admit, it is easier to get around.”

Reggie pouted. “Easy for you maybe. I lost my shirt on that one.”

You hadn’t even noticed that he was shirtless until it reappeared in a flash and he sighed in relief.

“So, why did you bring us here?” Alex asked Luke. “Just another painful reminder of where we never got to play?”

You smiled sarcastically. “Yeah, thanks, Luke.”

Luke rolled his eyes. “Because, we’re not done yet!”

He slung his arm around Alex’s shoulder, and gripped yours as he poofed you all down to the sidewalk, pulling away from you as fast as possible once your feet were back on the ground.

“I’m telling you.” Luke said. “We’ve been given a second chance. Let’s go see how many clubs we can hit before sunrise!”

He started walking down the street and Reggie was quick to follow, leaving you and Alex behind. As you watched them skip down the sidewalk, Alex let out a sharp ‘hey!’ and you whipped around to see him rubbing his shoulder.

A man in a long black suit stared straight into your eyes before tipping his hat to Alex and disappearing down the street. Every hair on your body stood on end as you stared at the spot where he was just standing.

“That was weird.” You said, turning to Alex. “You okay?”

He ran a hand through his hair. “Yeah, I’m good.”

You could hear Luke and Reggie’s excited shouting as they ran down the street, but you and Alex kept your distance. He reached his arm out to you and you took it automatically.

Over the last six months, Alex had become your best friend. You had always been close but last summer when things got bad with his parents, he turned to you.

And when things started to get weird between you and Luke or you had a fight with your mom, Alex was the only one you wanted to talk to.

“Alright.” Alex sighed. “Out with it.”

“Out with what?”

“I know you’re dying to talk about Luke.”

“I am not!”

Alex raised his eyebrows, clearly not convinced.

“Besides, there’s nothing to talk about.”

“Nothing-” He took in a sharp breath. “(Y/n), for someone so smart, you’re acting like a dumbass.”

You put a hand on your chest, dramatically gasping. “Alexander Mercer! I had no idea you were capable of using that kind of language.”

He flashed you his middle finger before unlocking his arm from yours and pulling you into his side. “Seriously though. What’s rolling around up there?”

You were quiet for a few minutes as you rested your head on his shoulder. “I just want to know what I did, you know?”

Alex nodded, but didn’t say anything, as he knew that you were just getting started.

“I mean, he’s always been there. He's always been my person. The one who I could count on for anything. Then that night in the studio, I thought…”

You trailed off and Alex held you a little tighter. Even though he wasn’t there, he could probably describe that night in exact detail from the amount of times you had told him about it. “I just miss him."

“Yeah, I know.” Alex said, his eyes glued to Luke’s back. “But, hey, you know that he loves you, and that didn’t change because of one night.”

He started to say something else but cut himself off as he saw Reggie and Luke approaching, both with big, goofy smiles. Reggie took your arm that wasn’t around Alex’s back and locked it in his.

“What are you guys talking about?” He asked.

“Nothing!” You said way too fast, cringing to yourself as you dragged Reggie down the sidewalk. “Come on, Reg. Let’s go see if that old comic book shop is still around.”

As the night wore on, you became more and more thankful that you weren’t able to get tired.

You spent the whole night sneaking into concert venues, clubs, and pretty much any place you wanted now that there was no chance of getting caught. It wasn’t until you passed a small street-side café that you let yourself think about the one place you hadn’t been yet.

Cece’s Diner.

When Julie told you it had been 25 years, you assumed that it had closed down. That Cece had moved away. Maybe even reconnected with her son and lived out her life. It seemed like such a perfect thought that you didn’t want to ruin it with reality.

But now that you had seen the way things had changed in the time you had been gone, you were now filled with a sense of urgency. You launched up the sidewalk until you were in front of the boys.

“Hey, guys?” You asked. They all stared at you curiously as a smile slowly spread across your face. “Anyone up for milkshakes?”

When you walked up to the diner - for only an instant - it was as if no time had passed. You felt the urge to run inside, throw your hair up in a ponytail, and make a beeline for the kitchen before you got in trouble for being late for your shift.

Only as you got closer, you realized how much had changed. The building, which had always been a little ordinary and worn like a well-loved home, now felt about twenty stories tall. You dragged yourself forward toward the door, unable to look away.

The boys lingered behind you, but no one said a word.

Your hand reached for the doorknob before you remembered that you wouldn’t actually be able to touch it.

I really gotta get used to that, you mumbled to yourself as you walked through the door.

It looked so different that you almost didn’t recognize it.

The bright blue paint had been replaced with brown on every wall, bookshelves lined the corners of the room, and long leather couches had replaced the booths and tables. The old jukebox had disappeared, and some old jazz song was playing over speakers over your head.

“Can I help you?”

A voice asked from behind the counter. It was a boy that looked a little older than you, messy black hair and an uninterested smile. He dragged a blue pen across the margins of a book as he waited for your answer.

“You can see us?” Alex asked, to which the boy rolled his eyes.

“I’m talking to you, aren’t I?” He said, raising his eyebrows when you all failed to answer either of his questions.

“My, my. Aren’t we chatty.”

“Who are you, exactly?” You said, trying to mask your annoyance with a smile.

“Teddy.” He said, pushing himself off the counter and making his way around until he stopped just a few feet ahead of you. “And you’re (Y/n).”

A shiver ran down your spine. “How do you know that?”

“You were a friend of my grandma’s.”

Before you could ask what the hell he meant by that, a man came walking out of the kitchen. He looked so much like Cece that it made your stomach flip. It was her son.

And as you looked back at Teddy, your mind slowly connected the dots. “You’re Cece’s grandson?”

He nodded.

“Okay, this is just too weird.” You said as you rubbed your temples. There was no way that this was actually happening, right? Maybe you somehow fell asleep and are having some weird ghost dream.

“Okay, well I definitely feel old.” Alex sighed.

Your head was spinning. “What is even happening right now.”

Teddy smiled. “Well, it’s too bad we’re dead or else I would buy you coffee and explain it to you.”

You internally cringed at his pick-up line but you couldn’t help but laugh a little. Normally, random guys flirting with you made you uncomfortable but behind his cocky attitude, he seemed like a genuine guy.

Maybe it was the way that he twirled his pen between his fingers the way that Cece used to, but something told you that there was more to him than meets the eye.

Before you could answer, Luke spoke up. “Well, it was nice meeting you. But we really should be getting back home.”

You could see that he was right as the pale light came in through the windows as the sky started to lighten.

But you couldn’t help but notice that this was the first time he had interjected in the conversation since you got there, and a small part of you wondered if that had anything to do with the way that Teddy was staring at you.

You shook those thoughts from your head, giving Teddy a soft smile.

“Maybe next time.”

Though you weren’t capable of getting cold, you still shivered a little as you walked through the door and back out onto the street. You could feel Luke’s eyes on the side of your face, flickering down to the sidewalk when he saw you looking.

You gave him a light nudge on the shoulder, and he gave you a soft smile that you couldn’t quite decipher the meaning behind.

That was pretty much all you got from Luke these days.

“So,” Luke said, his enthusiasm returning in full force as he threw his arms over Alex and Reggie’s shoulders. “I think it’s safe to say we’re officially back in business.”

The second that you landed in the studio, your jaw dropped.

Julie was sitting at the piano, her voice shaky but full of passion as she belted out the most beautiful song you’ve ever heard. Her fingers hit the keys expertly and you smiled.

You closed your eyes, listening to her voice echo through the room and getting lost in the warm feeling the lyrics filled you with. It wasn’t until she stopped singing and sniffled quietly that your heart dropped.

Both you and Alex surged forward to comfort her but Luke shook his head and swirled his finger, signaling to meet up outside. You wanted to protest. To stay and comfort your new friend.

But Julie sniffled again and you thought that maybe it would be a good idea to give her space. You made a mental note to talk to her later and poofed out of the garage.

In Life, In Death Taglist:

@ifilwtmfc @instabull @wanniiieeee @tenaciousperfectionunknown

JATP Taglist:

@caitsymichelle13

Let me know if you want to be added!

#luke patterson #luke patterson x reader #luke patterson imagine #julie molina #Reggie Peters #Alex Mercer #jatp fanfic

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gloryofluv · 3 years ago

Text

Traditionally Obscure Chapter 6

I promise, it gets heavy, but we haven't even gotten to his father yet *Squeals!!!*

Previous Chapter

Elsa and Sasha were speaking to each other while talking about the pictures Rosa showed them of Stellis. Rosa had found a lovely summer dress with a muted lavender and changed while the young princesses were scrolling through her photos. She had nothing to hide.

Elsa glanced up at her mother and shouted. Ester scowled and walked over before giggling. “My, he looks quite content, yes?” she asked.

Rosa finished her hair and paced over. “Whom?”

Sasha giggled and pointed to her phone. “Villy, he’s covered in flour.”

Oh, shoot! Rosa felt her cheeks darken. “Oh, actually, you’re not supposed to know I have that picture. He doesn’t know about that one.”

“He looks so happy here,” Elsa declared and touched the screen. “Mor, do you say he’s happy?”

Ester smiled and rocked her head. “Vilhelm and Rosa are companions.”

Rosa shifted and gestured to the princesses. “Forgive me for overstepping if I do, but you speak as if you don’t know how your cousin is doing in Stellis.”

Sasha exhaled and hung her head slightly. “Vil never wants to disappoint us. He only sends us pictures over holidays.”

Elsa rocked her head. “Yes, he is, how you say, private?”

Rosa agreed. “He is quite conservative.”

Ester walked up to Rosa and touched her arm. “You look like a proper woman of Svart, Rosa.”

“Thank you for your assistance,” Rosa bowed her head. “I would hate to approach the king with improper attire.”

Ester laughed and shook her head. “Come, one more thing. Every woman needs one,” she declared while leading her to the vanity.

Rosa glanced at her updo in the mirror and the light makeup on her face. The queen’s assistants were wonderful. She didn’t notice that Ester slipped a necklace with a bright golden topaz around her neck until it glinted in her eyes.

“Oh, I couldn’t,” Rosa rushed out.

“Nonsense, you can and will. Vilhelm is quite enamored with your loyalty to him. It is deserving,” Ester explained and touched the stone surrounded in gold. “Love and loyalty are hard to distinguish, but with it is a noble cause, comes an honor,” she finished in a softer voice.

Rosa glanced up at her as her cheeks tinted. “Thank you; I’m privileged to have such a compliment and gift.”

Ester beamed and exhaled. “I believe Vilhelm is waiting for us, and then we shall meet Ruthgar and Ragnar for tea.”

“Mor, mor, can we please has her for tonight?” Sasha huffed as she walked over.

“Not tonight, Sasha. Vilhelm and Rosa need to meet a friend for dinner at their hotel,” Ester declared as they moved to the door.

Sasha handed over her phone to Rosa. She spoke with a scowl and gestured to her several times. It was clear she was trying to convince her mother.

“She says it makes no sense for both of you to stay at a hotel when Vilhelm stayed with us over the summer holidays,” Ester explained before turning to her daughter. She spoke calmly to Sasha, pointed to Rosa, and then said Vyn’s name a few times. “I just told her that not everyone is comfortable with our traditions. Mainly that Vilhelm may not want to expose you to our traditions too soon.”

“What traditions?” Rosa asked.

Sasha gasped and flailed her hand in the air. “The garden strolls! The beautiful evening teas. We pray before bed and wish for dear blessings.”

Rosa beamed and took Sasha’s hand. “Whatever Vyn wants, I told him I would comply with.”

Sasha gasped and rushed something out in her native tongue, summoning over Elsa. The princesses were nearly squealing and gestured to Rosa, saying her name and Vyn’s. They took her left hand and scowled before speaking to their mother.

“They assumed you were engaged,” Ester declared and shook her head. “No.”

Rosa’s cheeks were dark as she shook her head. “We’re not,” she stopped and licked her lips. “We’re companions.”

“Friendships work differently in Svart,” Ester explained and moved to the door. “Daughters, I will return after delivering Rosa to Vilhelm. We will talk about your gossiping,” her voice held a warning.

Rosa noted that Ester seemed to have the same edge to her voice as Vyn when he’s frustrated. Maybe Ester did assist in raising him. There was the theory of that after the conversation, but it seemed there was more to it. Rosa wasn’t planning on deconstructing what little she knew about Vyn’s past when she came, but it was starting to add on. Maybe that was where his resistance came from?

Ester led them up another staircase and breathed. “Be gentle with him?” she whispered.

“The king?” Rosa asked.

The queen shook her head. “With my Vilhelm. After tonight I fear it is only going to be more difficult for him. I’m so relieved he has you here, Rosa.”

They rounded a corner, and Vyn was standing in the hallway next to two guards. Rosa’s fingertips grew chilled at the daunting task ahead. Gathering all this evidence… Edmar was a supporter of Vyn’s his entire life. Vyn glanced over and smiled as he straightened his blue turtleneck. His eyes met Rosa’s form, and his relaxed smile faded as his eyes grew in the slightest.

He cleared his throat while blinking and bowed toward the queen. “Your majesty,” he said.

She beamed and touched his cheek after releasing Rosa’s arm. “Vilhelm, be soft and strong. We shepherd the flock and care for the weak,” she sighed and pressed her thumb to his forehead, and drew a cross over his person.

“Of course,” he nodded.

Ester touched Rosa’s cheek and beamed before speaking in her native tongue. After she finished, she pressed her thumb to her forehead before drawing a cross over her person and turning to leave. Rosa tilted her head and watched the queen leave down the corridor.

“She told you, ‘The blessing of wise words leaves his throat and speaks of divinity.’ It’s a verse that is a statement of someone’s kindness and wisdom given to others,” Vyn explained.

Rosa smiled up at him and rocked her head. “I do adore your aunt and cousins. They were very kind in helping me change.”

Vyn breathed and straightened his jacket. “Rosa, thank you.”

“You don’t have to keep thanking me, Dr. Richter. I wanted to come for you. That’s unconditional,” she replied.

“Why?” He scowled.

She took his hand and beamed. “Because that’s what it means to have loyalty and admiration for someone.”

His cheeks glowed as he pulled his hand away and touched his chest. Vyn breathed and bowed at her before smiling. “You truly are deserving of mine, Rosa.”

He offered his arm, and she gripped him with ease before they approached the guards. One of them opened the door with a nod, and the pair stepped through. The lighting in the quarters was dim, and light classical music was playing.

Vyn breathed and patted her hand before gesturing toward the chair near the door. Rosa rocked her head and sat down before he paced further into the room. “Farbor?”

“Vilhelm? Min Bronson,” A crackly voice came from the other room followed by gurgly coughing.

“Ja, Farbor,” Vyn declared and disappeared into the room to the right.

The voices were calm and exchanged with very joyous tones. There was plenty of coughing, but the king sounded happy to see Vyn. Rosa ran her fingers over her dress. Had she ever seen someone dying? No, not in this manner. The conversation held laughter and gentle textures as it flowed from the other room before a pause.

Vyn reappeared and smiled as he gestured for her. “Rosa, he wants to speak to you now.”

She stood up and inhaled while approaching him with a smile. Vyn offered his arm, and she took it before he led her into a bedroom. It held medical supplies everywhere and an oxygen machine. The man in the bed had wispy white hair and bright golden eyes that examined her.

He spoke in his native tongue, and Vyn replied with a nod. “Rosa, this is my uncle, the King of Svart.”

“You’re prettier than he said,” Edmar huffed and waved his hand. “Come, come. Let me look at you.”

Rosa raised her eyebrows, but Vyn released her arm, and she stepped forward. He was frail-looking, not necessarily old, but dying to be definitive. He smiled and wagged his finger. Rosa stood at the side of the bed, and his lips stretched. “You are gorgeous. My eyes don’t deceive me as the halo around your hair illuminates the room.”

Rosa’s cheeks darkened, and she bowed her head. “Thank you, your highness.”

“Please,” he coughed while covering his mouth with a handkerchief and waving his free hand. “We are all equals in the eyes of the father when we’re dying. Tell me, Rose of Eden,” he paused and stared up at her. “Do you love my nephew?”

“Farbor,” Vyn sighed.

Rosa beamed and rocked her head. “As a human being to another, yes.”

Edmar smiled and reached for his water, but his hand shook. Rosa grabbed the glass and brought it to his lips, allowing him to drink. “Thank you,” he nodded and stared at her face. “I appreciate your answer. If we cannot love someone for them being human, we cannot appreciate their flaws in nature.”

“No, we can’t,” Rosa smiled and set the glass down.

Edmar patted the open space on his bed. “Sit, please. You’re a lady. It seems my wife has found you favor. That beautiful stone on your neck is a jewel from one of her crowns that needed to be smelted down.”

Rosa touched it and beamed. “She wouldn’t allow me to say no.”

“She’s very good at that,” Edmar laughed and covered a cough. “Vilhelm, this dying business is difficult. Would you get me some ice from the bin over there,” he winced and directed his hand across the room.

Vyn rocked his head and maneuvered across the room.

“I’m apologetic we are meeting under these circumstances,” Edmar sighed and touched Rosa’s hand. “I would have enjoyed seeing you both married.”

“Farbor,” Vyn cleared his throat and offered a glass of ice.

“He believes I don’t know you forced him to allow you to come,” Edmar squeezed out a laugh and breathed deep. “But our blood is stubborn and reliant on logic. We need a woman to remain steadfast with her heart.”

“It was a bit of an issue, but he relented in the end,” Rosa smiled.

“He will for you, no one else. He’s royalty. Vilhelm may not be my son by blood, but we share the same fire,” Edmar puffed and grimaced.

Rosa glanced up at Vyn, who was standing in a straightened pose. Likely something very traditional. Her eyes met the king, and she rocked her head. “His fire is what I enjoy. It’s neither fierce and destructive nor soft like a sparked ember. It’s contained behind a screen, and very few are allowed to view it.”

Edmar exhaled and glanced up at Vyn, speaking in his native tongue. It was direct and not as eased as when he spoke with her. Vyn soon dug in a drawer and handed Edmar a box and an envelope.

“It is fated for you to be here, Rosa. You are my witness. It is always needed for more than familiar eyes for moments such as these,” he nodded and retrieved the pen off the night table. Opening the large folded pages, he eyed the sheet.

Rosa glanced up at Vyn, who had no expression to go off of regarding this event. Whatever was happening, he either was keeping to himself or hadn’t an idea either. Edmar scratched at the pages and spoke in his native tongue. He mentioned Vyn’s name and continued. Vyn dropped his pose as his eyes widened and color breached his cheeks.

“You may do what you will with this, Vilhelm, but this is my gift to you,” Edmar finished and held out both items.

Vyn sank to a kneel and ducked his head. “Your majesty, I am undeserving.”

That was something Rosa never expected to hear. What was going on? There was clear confusion drawn across her face.

“Vilhelm, am I not anointed as King until death?” Edmar questioned.

“Yes, your majesty,” Vyn replied.

“Then please rise. Take this as a man deserving of a kingdom’s love.”

Vyn stood and cleared his throat with a nod. “It’s my honor.”

“It’s been my privilege to see you grow auspiciously into this being. You have the foundation of a leader, Vilhelm. I only wish you would accept more than this,” Edmar huffed and turned to Rosa.

Rosa ran her fingers over her dress and debated whether to speak. Whatever just happened, she wasn’t positive what it meant. However, it was a big deal, and she didn’t know the traditions enough to understand what it could mean fully.

“The sign of a grand leader and monarch is understanding the blunders of man,” Edmar declared and gestured to Rosa. “You are a brilliant and capable woman. Would you do a king a dying wish and take care of my Vilhelm?”

“Always,” Rosa smiled and touched his hand.

Edmar rocked his head and shut his eyes while inhaling. “Then I shall greet death like an old friend. My business concludes with his heart safe and tended to. Thank you,” he finished and smiled at her with his golden eyes shimmering in the light.

Vyn cleared his throat. “Rosa, might I have a moment alone with my uncle?”

Rosa smiled and rocked her head. Edmar took her hand in his and beamed while struggling to breathe. “It was my pleasure to have met you, Rose of Eden. Take care of my nephew, and he will protect you with his life. Love rarely comes for beasts such as us. We are of logic and compassion, but we hold the world away from our tenderness.”

She squeezed his fingers and nodded. “No one talks about how men have to choose to have dignity when facing death. I will speak about yours for the rest of my life. Thank you for this profound lesson, King Edmar.”

He chuckled and released her fingers before wagging them to beckon her. “Come now, let me tell you the secret.”

Rosa glanced at Vyn, who nodded. She stood up and bent toward the king, allowing her ear to be close to his face. Edmar cupped his hand and smiled. “It’s knowing that love gives you wings toward the heavens. Someone who holds your joy for you when there is darkness. Hold his joy, Rosa,” he breathed and kissed her cheek.

Rosa pulled away enough and beamed before kissing his brow. “I promise,” she murmured.

He reached for his handkerchief, and Rosa stood up. When she turned, her hand caressed Vyn’s arm before her feet carried her to the quarters' entrance. She glanced back and heard the murmuring and smiled, but she left, giving Vyn the room to say goodbye to someone who deeply loved him.

#tears of themis #tears of themis fanfic #tot fanfic #tot #tears of themis vyn #vyn richter #tears of themis mc #tot fluff #tot angst #tot vyn #tot mc #tot romance #royal society #death mention #heavy scene

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singledarkshade · 3 years ago

Text

Scarred By Time

Author’s Note: I'm procrastinating writing something else so I ended up picking this up once more. Another chapter will hopefully appear at some point. Hope you enjoy. Part One can be found here. ********************************************* Part Two The building sitting at the edge of the city loomed above them as they walked towards it from the parking lot.

Everyone had heard of TM Consultancy these days. It was a think tank which had a reputation for creative brilliant solutions to problems most people would dismiss as unsolvable. They had appeared from nowhere about two years ago and quickly built their reputation.

Sara Lance looked at the three people standing with her at the entrance, Ray Palmer, Nate Heywood and Zari Tomaz, three people who didn’t normally work together. She knew them through some mutual friends and the bar she hung out at some weekends.

“What do a scientist, a historian, a hacker and a martial arts instructor have in common?” Sara asked thoughtfully.

Ray grinned at her, “I think we’re about to find out.”

Sara watched the main doors open before them. Swapping confused glances, they walked in and looked around the spacious comfortable almost empty reception area.

“Good morning,” the woman who stood waiting for them said as they moved closer, she had long chestnut brown hair with storm-grey eyes. Her face had a pleasant but neutral expression while she held a tablet in her hand, “Miss Lance, Dr Palmer, Mr Heywood and Miss Tomaz, it is a pleasure to meet you. Dr Hunter is waiting for you. Please follow me.”

They stared when she turned and walked through the wall behind her. Looking at one another again, they shrugged and followed the woman. All cried out in surprise and pain when they walked into a solid barrier.

“Gideon,” a man’s annoyed voice came making them turn to see Rip Hunter, owner of TM Consultancy standing inside an elevator. He was tall, with sandy hair, neatly trimmed beard, intense green eyes and was dressed head to toe in black, the only part of his body uncovered was his face despite the fact it was the middle of summer but the thing that especially caught Sara’s attention were the leather gloves he wore.

The woman reappeared asking innocently, “Yes?”

“Stop it,” he stated before turning to them, “My apologies, she has currently developed a rather childish sense of humour since her recent upgrade.”

Sara could see the others as bemused as she was, “What?”

“Gideon is the AI who runs the building,” Hunter explained, obviously trying not to laugh as Gideon crossed her eyes and stuck her tongue out at him before disappearing back through the wall once more, “Follow me and we can discuss why I’ve asked you here.”

“Thank you for coming,” Hunter said as they filed into an office decorated in neutral colours with a long dark wooden desk in the middle and the sun shining through the wall of windows, “I’m sure you’re all busy so I’m not going to waste too much of your time. The reason I asked you here is to offer you a job.”

“What?” Sara spoke up.

He gave a slight smile, “All four of you have very specific skills which would be useful in order for us to expand our business.”

“What work exactly?” Ray asked thoughtfully.

“We find solutions for problems that others can’t,” Hunter replied, “Each of you have the skills I am looking for to expand the team.”

Sara frowned before challenging, “Considering my skills, what job do you expect me to do?”

“You’re a leader, Miss Lance,” he said, “I want you to manage this team.”

“What wages and perks are you offering?” Zari asked, “Because we all currently have pretty good jobs.”

Hunter smiled slightly again, Sara wondered if he knew how to smile properly, before he told them, “Gideon has emailed you a copy of your contract as well as details of all monetary compensation.”

“And you can’t give us any specific details of what we’ll actually be doing?” Nate demanded.

Hunter mused for a moment before nodding, “I’ll send you some write-ups of our previous cases, but there is information that you will not be privy to unless you are working for us. I will say that your days won’t ever be able to be called boring.”

With that the meeting was over.

Rip stood in his office watching from the window the people, he had hopefully just hired, leave the property to consider his offer, stunned that he’d made it to this stage. ‘Time’ had confirmed that all those that were needed would be in the right place when required and Rip had been concerned that something would go wrong. It had been a long five years, three of which he’d spent alone and two more building up a business so that he had a way to bring the team together.

“I still do not believe that hiring them is a good idea,” Gideon’s voice made him turn to find her standing at his side.

“We need Sara to recant her wish now John and Mick have managed to capture the Djinn,” Rip reminded her, “But in order for her to do that then she must know about the fact she made it. If she’s working here, then we can ease her into the information. The other three will help with finding the information to convince her it’s real and not some kind of joke.”

Gideon rested her hand on his shoulder, the sensors in his clothes letting him feel her touch, “Then we need to get back to work.”

“Yes, we do.”

“Although,” Gideon noted, “You have not yet eaten this morning.”

Rip rolled his eyes, “I will get something just now.”

Gideon nodded, “Excellent. I will have something waiting for you in the dining room. I’ll meet you there.”

With that she disappeared, and Rip looked out the window once more at the four people walking away.

Part of him hoped this worked but he also knew if it did, then he would leave Gideon again.

And he hated that thought.

*********************************************

Gideon had been watching her Captain carefully over the past few weeks since he’d made the decision to contact the Legends in this version of the world. John had managed to track down the Djinn who had tricked Sara into making the wish that created this reality, trap it and it was currently being stored in the Waverider under several layers of security both technological and magical.

Although she knew that this was what Rip had been working towards for many years, she feared him succeeding because Gideon would lose him once more.

She never used her hologram and turned her cameras off whenever he was in the shower or changing because Gideon knew Rip hated anyone, even her, seeing the scars that covered every part of his body.

The reminder that to give the Legends time to defeat Mallus after they had blundered in without a proper plan, he had been ripped apart by the energy from the time core.

“Gideon,” he called, letting her know he was dressed.

Turning her camera and hologram back on, Gideon smiled to find him dressed and heading out the room.

“Yes?” she asked as she followed him to the elevator.

“Have we received a reply from anyone yet?” he waited as Gideon sent the elevator down to the sixth floor so he could have breakfast.

Gideon shook her head, “I’m afraid not, Rip. However, it has only been a few days and the remuneration package you are providing may be giving them pause.”

“Should I have offered more?” Rip frowned concerned.

“From what Mr Constantine has said,” Gideon noted as they walked the corridor to the dining room, “You may have offered them too much.”

Rip rolled his eyes, “Money has never been something that has meant much to me, not since I was a child, and I stole whatever I could get my hands on. The Waverider always provided what I required. I probably should have had Mr Rory work out those details.”

“His economic knowledge is quite surprising,” Gideon noted.

Gideon gently touched his hand and Rip took a hold of it. She was relieved he had agreed to let her put the sensors in his clothing, Rip needed physical contact of some kind and would never accept it from Mr Constantine or Mr Rory.

Gideon knew from when Rip and Miranda had been together how much just a simple touch of his hand or kiss on his cheek from his wife, comforted and made him smile.

Rip turned to her and rested his other hand on her cheek, “I’m fine, Gideon.”

“I’m not,” she whispered, leaning into his touch, “Because the closer we get to fixing the mess Miss Lance made with her wish, the day I lose you again draws ever nearer.”

Sighing, Rip shook his head, “I’ve been dead a long time, Gideon. It’s just going to take this time.”

“Captain…”

“I’m at peace with my decision,” Rip told her, “I only wish it didn’t mean leaving you once more.”

Gideon closed her eyes and turned her face to press a soft kiss to his palm, “We have time before that moment comes, Rip and I will treasure each moment.”

“Have you found anything, Mr Constantine?”

Swearing John jumped, “Make a noise, Gideon before you appear.”

“I am constantly monitoring all parts of this facility,” Gideon noted with a roll of her eyes, “I am always here.”

Shaking his head and muttering under his breath, John pulled over the book so she could see it properly.

“I think I can summon the corporeal version of ‘Time’,” John told her, “But what do we do then? We can’t threaten him to keep Rip alive after we’ve fixed things.”

“I am aware of this, Mr Constantine,” Gideon replied sharply, “However, I will not allow Rip to die again without trying something to save him. This way we have a chance to find out what we can do.”

John shook his head, “I know, Gideon. Look,” he closed the book, “I need to collect some stuff to do the summoning so I will start gathering them up. And we can work on what we offer.”

She nodded, “Thank you.”

“He’s my friend too,” John reminded her, “And I won’t let him go without a fight.”

Gideon gave him a soft smile before she tilted her head, “The Legends have replied to the job offers. I will leave you to work while I report this to Captain Hunter.”

As Gideon disappeared again, John mused over everything. It was only a few hours after he’d been resuscitated into this world that Gideon asked him to find a way to help her save Rip after he saved the world.

He knew Rip and Gideon were close, but the past few years a lot of the time John could see how close they truly were. Gideon had implanted every piece of clothing Rip wore with sensors allowing her to physically interact with him. John had been a bit weirded out by it at first but realised after a while that it was good for Rip.

John smiled slightly, thinking back to anytime he saw Rip and Miranda together. How she would always place a hand on his arm, or lean into him to look at something, she’d brush a kiss to his cheek whenever she left the room or would simply sit on Rip’s lap without even acknowledging him.

It always made Rip smile and relax, Gideon knew this too so, as always, was looking out for her Captain.

*********************************************

Sara stood with her arms folded as she stood just outside the TM Consultancy building.

“You know,” Zari said as she walked up to Sara’s side, “We only get paid if we go inside and work.”

Shrugging Sara asked, “Don’t you think this is a little odd?”

“A little,” Zari agreed, “I nearly passed out when I saw the salary we were being offered. Not to mention the bonuses for completed jobs.”

Sara nodded, “I know what you mean. It…” she hesitated, trying to find the words, “The job is amazing and so much better than the one I was doing but there is just something odd about it and Hunter.”

“His dress sense screams that,” Zari laughed, “Do you think he knows the all black outfit makes him look like a stick-insect?”

Sara chuckled, “It’s the fact every part of him was covered other than his face I found odd.”

Zari shrugged, “Maybe he just doesn’t like the cold.”

“We’re in the middle of summer,” Sara sighed, “Never mind. We’re due in ten minutes and I don’t want to be late on my first day.”

They started towards the gates and Sara mused over everything. There was something strange about this entire thing and she intended to find out what reason this guy had for hiring them. The money he offered them all was incredible, far more than she expected ever to earn with her qualifications.

Reaching the reception, they found Ray and Nate were already there, sitting on the plush couch just to one side of the desk.

“We were told to wait,” Nate told her, “I don’t think the computer likes us much.”

Sara and Zari took a seat as Zari asked, “Why?”

“Just the look she gave me,” Nate replied.

Ray shook his head, “You’re imagining things. She was very pleasant, and this time didn’t make us run into a wall.”

Zari chuckled, “Come on, that was a little funny. And the fact she’s an AI with a sense of humour, this job won’t be boring.”

“Boring is something I’m not expecting,” Sara mused.

“Are you ready for this, Captain?” Gideon asked softly as he stood in his office watching the video screen showing the four people waiting in reception.

Rip shook his head, “Honestly, no.”

Placing her hand on his back, Gideon whispered, “You don’t have to do this.”

Turning Rip took her hand, “I do. This world isn’t real. It is missing those who will step in and save it from dangers that normal people cannot.”

“Why is there no other way?” Gideon asked.

Sliding his arms around her, Rip drew her in for a hug, “Because there isn’t. Sara recants her wish, the world goes back to how it was…”

“And I lose you again,” Gideon sighed, her head resting against his shoulder, “Only this time it will be forever.”

Rip closed his eyes before he reminded her, “I made my choice, Gideon. I never wanted to leave you and I don’t but…”

“But?” she pulled back and looked at him with large eyes.

He let out a slow breath, “I can’t be selfish, Gideon as much as I want to. The world is wrong, and I made a deal to fix it. I made a promise.”

“You are far too honourable sometimes, Captain.”

Rip sighed, “You are probably the only one who has ever thought that.” He gave her a smile and rested his hand on her shoulder, “Let’s go meet our new employees.”

“I hope you ensure to remind them that I don’t take orders from them,” Gideon told him, turning on her heel towards the elevator.

Rip smiled and followed her.

The ding of the elevator made Sara jump to her feet along with the other three.

“Good morning,” Hunter greeted them, wearing basically the same outfit as he had been on the day he’d ‘interviewed’ them, except his polo neck was blue not black, “I’m glad you all decided to take up my offer.”

“Well,” Sara spoke for the group, “It was a hard offer to say no to.”

He gave a slight smile and handed Gideon who was waiting at his side the tablet he had been holding. Sara stared, feeling the others stunned looks as well, when the AI took it.

“How did you do that?” Ray demanded.

Hunter glanced at Gideon before replying, “Executive level clearance.” He turned and headed to the elevator frowning as he turned back to find them staring at him, “Please join me and we can start the tour.”

Sara took the lead and walked into the elevator with the other three joining after a moment.

“Before I show you your offices,” Hunter said as the doors closed, “I want to confirm to you the areas that are off-limits no matter what. These are the top two floors which house the apartments used by myself, Mr Rory and Mr Constantine. None of us will be happy if you wander into our private rooms. Secondly is the basement.”

“Keeping the bodies down there?” Zari asked with a chuckle.

Hunter gave her one of his slight smiles before replying, “Just filled with so much junk it’s dangerous and I don’t want any of you to get lost down there, it could take days to find you.”

*********************************************

John went through his checklist for the summoning spell. It had taken him a month to get everything together with Gideon constantly checking on him.

He had avoided the Legends since Rip had brought them in, it was just weird that they didn’t know him, and he knew Mick was also avoiding being around them. The former thief and Bounty Hunter had taken to working in a Think Tank, amazingly becoming their security expert with enthusiasm. When they’d joined Rip and started creating the business, Gideon had gone about reorganising the building so that it worked both for their business but also for a place for the three of them to live.

“Please tell me you’re ready, Mr Constantine,” Gideon’s exasperated voice preceded her hologram appearing.

John smiled to himself at her irritation, “I take it one of our new recruits has annoyed you.”

“Mr Heywood insists on calling me ‘computer’,” she snapped, “Honestly it is only due my promise to Captain Hunter that I have not retaliated.”

“Sorry, Gideon,” he sighed, “I’ll talk to him. Because the last thing we need is Rip to deck him for disrespecting you.”

A sweet smile touched her lips and John, not for the first time since he’d been woken in this new world, realised how little he’d understood just how self-aware and ‘human’ Gideon was.

“Before that though,” John pulled out the spell book, “Lock the door and we can try the spell.”

Gideon nodded and John heard the click of the lock as he pulled out everything he required for the summoning.

“Okay,” he took a breath, “Are we ready?”

“Whenever you are.”

John started the summoning spell, feeling the enormous power he was bringing into the room but it wasn’t the first time he’d interacted with something powerful and held his nerve.

Finally a man stood in front of him, or it looked like the shape of a man but John couldn’t quite see the features or anything other than a slightly grey shape.

“Not many people are brave, or powerful enough, to summon me,” the voice echoed off every corner of the room meaning John was in no doubt this was ‘Time’, “Why have you done this?”

“Rip Hunter,” John said, “I want to know what is needed so that he will survive once he gets the wish recanted.”

‘Time’ tilted its head, “Rip Hunter is dead. I was only able to return him to life because of the wish. He knows this.”

“He does,” John replied, “But he deserves something more than to die again once he fixes things for you.”

“He does,” ‘Time’ agreed, “But I could only give him life in exchange for another.”

“Then take mine,” Gideon spoke suddenly.

John spun to her, “What? No?”

“You are an AI,” ‘Time’ mused, “Offering your basic immortal life for a human?”

“For him,” Gideon replied, “Yes.”

‘Time’ moved to her, “Do you understand what you are offering?”

“I do,” Gideon nodded, “And I want to ensure if I do this then he is completely whole once more.”

“Gideon,” John snapped, “Rip would never agree…”

“Your offer is accepted,” ‘Time’ interrupted John.

John frowned, “No, wait.”

“The offer was made without guile,” ‘Time’ told him, “Without deceit. It was given freely and has been accepted.”

With that said ‘Time’ disappeared.

John spun to Gideon, “Rip will never agree to this.”

“He does not need to know until after Miss Lance has recanted her wish,” Gideon told him.

“And you think I’m not going to tell him?”

Gideon nodded, “I know you will not.”

Bright light filled the room and John blinked.

Looking around he frowned, before checking the book, “It didn’t work, did it?”

“No, Mr Constantine,” Gideon replied, “What you intended did not happen.”

Sighing John said, “I’m sorry, Gideon. I know how disappointed you must be. I can try again.”

Gideon gave him a sad smile, “It took you almost two years to track down that spell. It is doubtful you will be able to find another in time.”

John sighed as Gideon disappeared and he began to tidy up, disappointed that he’d failed.

#fic #legends of tomorrow #rip hunter #gideon #john constantine #sara lance #zari tomaz #ray palmer #nate heywood #alternate universe

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madamewriterofwrongs · 4 years ago

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Missed High Five

911/Buddie

For @buckleysjareau who asked for Buck giving Eddie flirting lessons <3

If he was going to blame anyone, he would blame Chimney. No, he would blame himself for listening to Chimney. What did he know about dating anyways? Sure, he and Maddie had been through hell and were still going on dates and discovering things they loved about each other and seemed to be genuinely happy together. But that was a fluke, obviously.

Just ask them out. The worst they can do is say ‘no’ and then you can move on.

Horrible advice. In point of fact, the worst thing they could do was not ‘say no’. They could laugh in their face; they could say yes to avoid conflict; they could ask for a transfer and they’d never see each other again.

Maybe Chimney’s advice would be different if he knew that he was telling him to ask out a coworker.

Either way, it was definitely Chimney’s fault, and not the extra shot he’d done at the bar while they were all out celebrating Albert’s birthday.

“It’s weird, right?” Hen tucked into his side as he lounged at the edge of the party. “Not knowing any of Albert’s friends?”

Eddie shrugged to avoid admitting that he was incredibly uncomfortable. “That seems to be the way with us, though. Any excuse to get together.” He took another swig of beer, eye catching sight of the object of his interest dancing with a few of Albert’s coworkers. “Or maybe it’s just weird because we’re making it weird.”

Hen followed his line of sight, chuckling when she found Buck twirling a young woman who was clearly starstruck by the older man.

“More like we have the common sense to know when the age gap is too wide.”

Just ask them out.

Chugging the last of his bottle with an audible gulp, Eddie kept his eyes squarely on his target as he slammed the glass on the bar behind him. “Then I guess I’d better go save him.”

Eddie hated the dance floor; there was a reason he’d been avoiding it all night. It was overwhelmingly hot and crowded and too loud to hear anything beyond the pounding of the bass under their feet. He’d never held much love for clubbing in his twenties and he certainly held no affection for it now. He was here to celebrate the birth of a mutual acquaintance and save his best friend from embarrassing himself from being too nice to realize when he was being hit on.

How the mighty have fallen, Chimney had teased him the first time the waitress at their usual place pouted over not getting his number. Buck hadn’t even noticed that she was dropping obvious hints about what time she got off work and whether his apartment was close by. He’d just answered her questions respectfully, turning back to his conversation with the table until Chimney had finally slapped him upside the head for being so oblivious.

None of us what Playgirl Buck to make a reappearance but that was just pathetic.

Eddie had never seen the so-called ‘Buck 1.0’, only the lovelorn 2.0 who’d lost his girlfriend long before he realized, and struggled to find solid ground in the midst of rediscovering his priorities. He liked that Buck – there was a reason they’d become such fast friends – but even he had to admit that the man had lost his game.

“Eddie!” He couldn’t help the fond smile that crossed his face when his friend shouted his name over the thrumming music. “Come join the land of the living.”

“Actually, I came to drag you back to the land of the dead. We’re taking Christopher to the zoo in the morning, remember?” Buck seemed to miss the way the woman he was dancing with instinctually stepped away at the mention of the little boy. Eddie did not.

“Fine,” the blond sighed, though his face showed no signs of being put out. That was something that Eddie had admired in his friend from the very beginning: his unabashed love for Christopher. That kid was possibly the most loveable creature on the planet but the way Buck cared for him was a beacon in the darkness of space. “I’ll just say ‘bye’ to Albert.” With that, he’d disappeared into the crowd, leaving Eddie surrounding by sweaty, noisy, thrumming twenty-somethings, without anyone to save him.

Okay, so the music wasn’t that bad. And the crowds – while plentiful – were keeping a respectful distance (he wasn’t getting jostled about, nor was he being judged for using the word ‘jostled’). In fact, it had a pretty good beat to it. He could probably find the rhythm and dance to it, if he wanted to. It wasn’t awful in here after all.

The hand between his shoulder blades made him jump. “Ready to go?” Oh, thank goodness.

With one last wave to his fellow old fogeys at the bar, he followed Buck out of the crowd and into the cool night air.

It was always cooler outside than in some noisy club but in point of fact, it was a warm California summer, dulled by the lights of the city which overtook the starless black sky. Nevertheless, Eddie found himself drawn to Buck for warmth (or so he convinced himself). It had nothing to do with the comfort and ease he felt with the other man, content at his side in a way he never realized he could feel with another person.

He’d accepted some time ago, that he was ready to begin dating again. Life after Shannon was still boiling over with guilt and loss, but he had started to wonder – thanks to some helpful sessions with his work-mandated therapist – that sharing that grief with another person would help the healing process. So, he’d begun to look at the world with fresh eyes; almost immediately, those eyes had fallen on his best friend. The man who’d been by his side since their first meeting, protecting his son, comforting him through unspeakable loss, leaving (as they always did) but coming back.

He couldn’t quite put a word to how he felt for Buck, but if there was going to be a reason to reenter the dating pool, it would be to figure out what that word was.

So, yes, he may have found comfort in leaning against Buck’s side long ago, but he was now acutely aware of how often he did it, and how much he enjoyed it. It wouldn’t be a grand feat to place his arm around the other man’s waist, or let Buck put his hand on his shoulder. In fact, he found the urge to pull himself closer grew stronger the more he let his mind wander.

There were just one or two things he had to get out in the open, first.

“Hey, Buck” he spoke as casually as a man with a singular focus could speak. “If I wanted to ask someone out, what do you think is the best way to do it?”

Eddie tripped over his feet when Buck stopped dead in his tracks, turning to face his friend with laser-focused intensity. There was something etched there – concern? Jealousy (he wouldn’t dare to think)? Excitement?

“You got someone in mind?”

He couldn’t know, could he? Was he so obvious that one question revealed his secret? It was better to test the waters first.

“I do, actually. It’s a coworker; a friend.”

Buck hissed in discomfort, shoving his hands into his pockets with enthusiasm. “That’s tricky. Trust me when I say that sleeping with your coworkers is dangerous.” His shocked expression must have been as evident as his longing, because Buck chuckled a moment later. “Not at the 118. It was before I moved to LA and definitely a mistake.”

It was not as reassuring as Buck seemed to think it would be.

“So you don’t think I should go for it?”

“I didn’t say that, just” Even his non-committal shrug was cute. Eddie was doomed. “Be careful, I guess.”

What was he supposed to do, now? How could he test the waters knowing Buck was hesitant to dip his toe in? Perhaps he should just abort the whole mission and go back to caring too deeply for a man who’d come to mean the world to him.

He couldn’t blame Evan Buckley for turning him into a sap, but his presence in his life certainly hadn’t helped his natural inclinations.

“So…” Eddie startled when Buck bumped his shoulder. They’d been walking towards his truck – parked far enough away from the bar that he’d briefly contemplated just walking from home – for a few minutes while he lost himself contemplating whether or not to follow Chimney’s advice and just ask him out, already.

“So what?”

“Do I know this person you want to ask out?”

He suddenly felt the overwhelming urge to find out if the rumors of an entrance to Hell in Pasadena were true.

“Yeah, actually, pretty well.”

“So it’s someone we work with.” Buck bounced along the sidewalk, a mischievous glint in his eye. “Interesting. What’s your game plan?”

He was wrong; this was hell. This moment, walking beside his best friend on a random Saturday evening, was the definition of hell.

“I don’t really have a plan” he admitted, realizing in that moment, how close it was to the truth. Alarm bells began to chime with a reminder that this was a bad idea. Yet, still, he persisted.

“Then you’re in luck because I am here to help.”

“I’m sorry, when was the last time you went on a date?”

Buck made a disgruntled face, hidden by his smile, the way he did whenever Eddie teased him. He’d long ago catalogued the way his facial expressions changed depending on which of their friends was doing the teasing. This look was his one of his favourites.

“It’s been a while” thirteen months and nineteen days (not that Eddie was counting) “but that doesn’t mean I don’t know what I’m doing.”

“I think that’s exactly what it means.”

“Look, do you want my help or not?”

More warning bells clattered through his, admittedly, less fuzzy brain, but for some reason – which, to this day, he still isn’t sure of the reason – Eddie ignored them.

“Fine. What’d you got?”

The man punched his hand in excitement, fairly skipping down the street now; eyes aglow with enthusiasm (or perhaps it was just the smog).

“Okay, so, first of all: do you know if they’re interested?”

If that wasn’t that the million-dollar question on Eddie’s mind. “I’m not sure. I know they’re open to the possibility of dating, but they haven’t made any signal that they’re interested in me specifically.”

“That’s okay. Now you just have to woo them.”

He hadn’t meant to laugh so loudly, but it was impossible to know what Buck would say next on any given day; and tonight was no exception.

“Woo?”

“Yeah,” The firefighter plowed on with his usual fervor. “you know: you spend time with them, give them gifts, take any opportunity you can to touch them.”

“Touch them, how?”

They hadn’t stopped walking, but Eddie found himself dizzy from the realization of how slowly they were moving – how close they were. They were always comfortable standing shoulder to shoulder but suddenly, it was too much and not enough. The space under his collarbones grew incredibly hot.

“Just little things.” Buck bumped his friend’s shoulder with more purpose, rubbing the fabric of their shirts together. “A shoulder touch, a hand on the small of the back,” he demonstrated with a move that startled Eddie with its certainty. “Any chance you get, create a physical connection.”

They’d all but stopped walking now, Buck’s hand cupping his back, his own traitorous limbs reaching out to hook into his friend’s jeans. If he pulled hard enough, maybe he could make Buck gasp the way he did in his head when they-

Buck seemed completely oblivious to the stretch of rope between them; anticipation pulled taut. His smile was as calm and eager as ever, so proud that Eddie was a hands-on learner.

If only he knew how hands-on.

“Does it work?” Eddie found himself hoping for a very specific answer that he wouldn’t dare spell out, even in his mind.

“It always works for me.”

The pair hadn’t separated, though the moment was long past over. Yet, Buck still smiled, unaware of how close he was to everything changing.

That was the chink in his normally confident armor. He wasn’t worried that Buck would hurt him, or that they would lose their friendship if things went south – he wasn’t even concerned with how their work dynamic might be altered by the addition of a more personal relationship in a high stress job. It was that things would change; things, which he’d only barely gotten a handle on. Sharing a bed, sharing aspects of his private life, trusting and opening up more than he already had with Buck. And it would all happen at once. He hadn’t been a wonderful partner the first time around; there was no guarantee he’d get it right now.

When did Eddie start thinking of Buck on par with Shannon?

“So” he cleared his throat but hadn’t found the courage to let go of Buck’s belt loop (nor had Buck removed his hand from the small of his back). “spend time, give gifts, and touch them. Then what?”

“If they’re receptive to all your advances, then you just have to go for it.” Buck nodded unhelpfully. “Ask them out.”

“Why is that everyone’s advice?” Eddie grumbled to himself.

“What?”

“Nothing.” He was doomed. “So when you say ‘spend time together’, do you mean like how we’re taking Christopher to the zoo tomorrow?”

The way Buck tilted his head in contemplation shouldn’t have been as endearing as he found it, but at that point, there was nothing to do but admit that he was a goner for everything that man did.

“Yeah; or how I let you drag me to baseball games.”

“I don’t drag you” Eddie lied.

“I’m not going for the overpriced beer and popcorn.” It was an admission that gripped his heart with something akin to hope.

“And giving gifts. Like that skateboard you found for Christopher?”

“That was mostly for Christopher” Buck conceded, still only a tantalizing breath away and none the wiser. “But yeah. Or when you fixed my bike on your day off. It’s the little things that mean the most, right?”

He hadn’t spent two hours learning how to repair Buck’s broken line in order to see the smile on his face, but the hug he received was well worth the blood, sweat, and swearing.

“And touching?”

He was a fool for asking but he was worse for wishing he didn’t have to. For wanting to have the power to kiss and press and hold whenever he wanted without having to go through the stress of risking his heart.

The worst was wondering if Buck looked down at his lips intentionally or if it was a simple reflex.

“Touch can be as simple as brushing shoulders.” He half-expected the man to demonstrate the way they had been for so many months, but his fingers curled against the fabric of Eddie’s sweater as if willing himself not to. “Or it can be a welcome hug, sitting next to them when there’s space to be apart.” He didn’t need to catalogue the library of examples he had because each touch had been seared into his skin since he realized it was an option. Standing this close, Eddie was certain he could see the same memories flashing through Buck’s eyes, the warmth of their breaths mingling together like smoke in the breeze.

It would be so simple now: reach out and steal that first kiss he’d been craving all night. And it would taste sweet. Buck was always going to taste sweet but he’d also tried some artsy blueberry ale and the scent of it still lingered. He could close his eyes and pretend they’d always been kissing; pull him close and never let go.

But he’d never steal their first moment together. It was meant to be shared, to enjoyed equally and with the same longing enthusiasm; he needed to take the plunge first.

“And then you ask them out?”

“Exactly.” Buck, endearingly oblivious Buck, smiled proudly at his protegee and tilted his head away, still not leaving the safety of their bubbly but no longer engaged in their battle of wills that he didn’t realize he’d won.

How was Eddie meant to resist?

“Go out with me?”

“Just like that. I doubt they’ll say no.”

Eddie’s stomach dropped to the ground and rolled into on-coming traffic. “Is that a ‘yes’?”

Buck furrowed his brow in confusion. “Yes, that was a straightforward way of asking someone out.”

There were many times in his career as a firefighter that Eddie had to control his expression for the unbelievable things people said to him on a call – some were awful, some where hilarious, others were just ridiculous – and he was quite proud of his ability to school his features in the face of adversity. He was never prepared to use that super power while off the clock.

“Are you serious?” He gaped at Buck with pure confusion and disbelief – and no short measure of disappointment. “Is this your way of turning me down or did you really not know?” He couldn’t decide which was worse – yes, he could, but he was still fighting his traitorous heart beating out of his chest at the realization of what he was about to reveal.

“Not know what?” It genuinely was so innocent.

With his last ounce of will power, Eddie released his friend’s belt loops and guided him backwards. Cold air hit his chest and he was reminded of how exposed they were in this moment – not only from the elements but from his heart, as cliché as it was. Buck seemed reluctant to release the grip on Eddie’s now-rumpled shirt but he did it, and the space became even greater as he mourned the loss of being completely surrounded.

He needed the room to offer his heart.

“Buck, I was trying to ask you out.”

Silence; the passage of time marked only by the widening of his friend’s eyes.

“Oh.” Realization. “Oh.” Comprehension.”

His heart crumbled. “Yeah. But, I understand that you’re not inter”

“I am.” The panic was surprising but the sincerity knocked him off-center. “I definitely am.” With every rambled word, Eddie was forced to lean back from the sheer gravity of Buck’s energy. “I had hoped and then I had stopped hoping and then you wanted advice and I thought I’d missed my chance and then I got so caught up I thought I was misinterpreting everything and I didn’t want to assume but I also really, like, being close to you, Eddie and if this was my only chance then I was going to take it but it seems like it might not be my only chance unless I’ve completely blown my shot which I might have because I don’t think I’ve ever rambled this much – why can’t I stop talking, Eddie, I’m never like this, I promise – I think I’m realizing in real-time just how much I screwed up what is probably the best thing in my life”

“You didn’t screw up anything.” The urge to laugh at the breathless man before him was smothered by throwing both hands over Buck’s mouth. “You didn’t screw up a damn thing. Though the rambling is new.” He allowed a chuckle to escape and it seemed to ease the tension in his friend’s shoulders. Everything fell silent again as Eddie stared into those bright blue eyes filled with what he finally recognized as the same hope he’d been carrying around.

“Go out with me, Buck?”

Without missing a beat, the other man nodded vigorously beneath Eddie’s hands, feeling the smile stretch wide.

“Good. I’m glad.”

A warm hand circled his, gently pulling his hand away from Buck’s mouth but never straying far from his face; the smile had turned a familiar shade of cocky and cute – though the latter was a newer realization.

“So I guess my technique worked, huh?”

Eddie gaped in some horrible mix between genuine offence and pure joy. The little-how could he-did he think-why would he-he’s trying to-

“Shut up” he floundered, using their joined hands to push Buck’s chest away, though the other man never released his grip and with a simple tug, he found himself back in their familiar bubble. Not safe from the cruel reality, but secure in their new truth and warmed by hope.

“Make me.”

He had every intention of doing just that.

#cj writes things #buckleysjareau #love mack #911 fox #911fox #911fic #911 fic #buddie #evan buckley #eddie diaz

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365days365movies · 4 years ago

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February 7, 2021: Emma. (2020)

Another late one, people! Tomorrow might be a bit later, too, full warning. Like I said, school’s back in session, and I got students to teach and class to prepare!

When I was a kid, I was a pretty avid reader, mostly due to my mom’s drive to get me to be an avid reader. I read Shakespeare from an early age, which might be why I like it so much, and why I remember it so well.

I also read Jane Austen’s Emma when I was 10 years old. On a related note, I remember none of Jane Austen’s Emma. On another related note, I’m fairly certain that I saw its most famous adaptation, Clueless, and I don’t remember that either.

I’m tempted to rewatch that one, since I don’t remember it AT ALL, but I figure that I’m going to place a more direct adaptation of the work first on my list of priorities. And so, one of the ONLY movies to come out last year is one my list, starring an up-and-coming “it girl,” Anya Taylor-Joy.

From what I can tell, this is a fairly popular movie on this platform, so I’m looking forward to watching it, despite knowing NOTHING about it, other than the fact that it’s a romance drama, and based off of a classic British novel by Jane Austen. Shall we? SPOILERS AHEAD!!!

Recap

Emma Woodhouse (Anya Taylor-Joy) lives in the 1815 English countryside, with her father, Mr. Woodhouse (Bill Nighy), and her caretaker, Mrs. Taylor (Gemma Whelan). However, this is about to change, as she is to marry Mr. Weston (Rupert Graves) that day.

Emma is a sweet girl, who seems to be ale to predict things to pass. She also set up the present marriage, although she seems not to want one for herself. However, she also seems interested in the whereabouts of Mr. Taylor’s son, Frank. He never shows up, though.

Meanwhile, the Woodhouses are visited by George Knightley (Johnny Flynn), whom her father favors, and whom Emma seems to clash with. And Imma call it now: they totally end up together in the end. I mean, c’mon.

Emma’s trying to replace Mrs. Weston nee Taylor as a governness, despite the fact that her father doesn’t want it. Emma finds Harriet Smith (Mia Goth), a young women whom she goes to school with, and apparently might be the illegitimate daughter of a nobleman. She’s also interested in setting Harriet up, as Emma prides her skills as a matchmaker.

However, Harriet’s already interested in a local farmer, Robert Martin (Connor Swindels), but Emma’s trying to set her up with a local vicar, Elton (Josh O’Connor). They go to meet Mrs. Weston, and Emma introduces herself to Elton, who she believes likes her in return.

The next day, Emma and Harriet go to the store, where the gossipy busybody Miss Bates (Miranda Hart) comes to speak with the VERY unwilling Emma, and the considerably more interested Harriet. Miss Bates is speaking up her niece, Jane, although Emma certainly doesn’t seen to care nearly as much as Miss Bates thinks she does.

On the way home, Harriet and Emma encounter Robert Martin, and Emma's definitely not a fan of that potential relationship. Instead, she regularly puts down Mr. Martin, and talks up Vicar Elton.

As Elton and Harriet begin getting closer, and Emma seems to be vindicated in support of the relationship she set up, Knightley’s...not impressed. In a conversation with Mrs. Weston, he basically says that she gets high on flattery, and while she isn’t necessarily a true narcissist, she still NEEDS approval from her peers and others. That’s why she’s setting up Harriet, who feeds her constant flattery.

In addition, her whole “never going to get married” thing doesn’t seem to fly with George, here, who’d like her to fall in love with someone who isn’t...well, a simp, let’s be honest here. And honestly, this is already an interesting character dissection, and I can dig it.

Knightley complicates matters for Emma, when he convinces Martin to write a letter, asking for Harriet’s hand in marriage. However, due to Emma’s subtle manipulations, she convinces Harriet to refuse the proposal, despite the fact that she clearly wants to say yes. And while Emma might be beautiful, and quite smart...yeah, she’s a bitch. Or, at the very least, she acts like one for her own benefit.

Knightley, pissed off about this whole thing, confronts Emma about her manipulations, and states that Martin might be the ideal match for Harriet. After calling her out, and warning her that Elton miiiiiiight be a bit of a ladies’ man, and that he’s certainly the wrong match for Harriet in the end. Emma admits that she mostly wants to keep Harriet for herself.

Autumn turns to Winter, and Emma’s older sister Isabella Knightley (Chloe Pirrie), and her husband John Knightley (Oliver Chris) (and George’s younger brother) come to visit Emma and her father for the holidays. George and Emma make amends, although Emma still won’t admit that she may have been wrong.

Christmas Day comes, and Harriet is sick, while Frank Churchill once again neglects to appear at the house of his father and new wife. George berates his neglect of his familial duties, while Emma argues in his favor, obviously harboring a crush on him still.

At dinner, Elton makes a remark about snow, causing LITERALLY EVERYBODY to leave the party prematurely, and Emma’s father accidentally leaves her behind. Elton, however, offers to give her a ride in his carriage. And in the carriage, he reveals that not only does he actually love Emma, but that he doesn’t care for Harriet at fucking ALL. Fuckin’ WHOOF.

Looks like Elton’s misread EVERY POSSIBLE SIGNAL, and Emma FUCKED UP SOMETHING FIERCE. Harriet is quite saddened by this, and is about to destroy a portrait of herself that Emma made for her. However, Emma instead keeps it. Elton disappears for a number of weeks, just as the niece of Miss Bates, Jane Fairfax (Amber Anderson) suddenly reappears.

At dinner, it’s revealed that Jane appears to know Frank Churchill, as they live in the same place. During a piano performance of Jane’s that’s WAY BETTER than Emma’s performance, it’s also revealed that Emma’s been compared to her all of her life, giving her some fat, fat insecurities!

After an awkward encounter with Mr. Martin, Harriet goes to the Martin household to visit his sisters. Meanwhile, the long-awaited arrival of Frank Churchill (Callum Turner) comes, and Emma is unsurprisingly smitten with him. He asks her for a dance at an upcoming dinner, and she accepts.

Knightley is, of course, not impressed with the worldly gentleman. Meanwhile, someone has apparently delivered a pianoforte to Jane Fairfax, and it’s pretty goddamn obvious that it was Frank Churchill. Although, it’s possible that it was George Knightley, who’s been matched to her by Mrs. Weston.

And it’s at this point that I should point out that GODDAMN THIS IS A SOAP-OPERA OF A MOVIE. The hyper-detailed intentions and events, all happening within the confines of high society and etiquette are both overly intricate, while also managing to be...weirdly enrapturing.

The next morning, after a six-week absence, Elton’s come back to town with brand new wife, Augusta Elton (Tanya Reynolds) in tow. Augusta matches Emma’s passive-aggressiveness measure-for-goddamn-measure, which, yeah, PISSES EMMA OFF.

But it’s still good news on the horizon, as Frank’s appearance has prompted the Westons to hold a ball. While Emma and Frank seem to be getting along, Elton is prevented to opportunity to dance with Harriet, only to refuse LIKE AN ABSOLUTE TAINT. On the verge of tears, Harriet’s rescued by George, and they dance alongside the rest of the partygoers.

Emma shows his appreciation for this, and Knightley returns his appreciation for her friendship with Harriet, who’s way goddamn better than Augusta. The two decide to dance together, and the two basically fall in love RIGHT GODDAMN THERE AND I AM GODDAMN HERE FOR IT.

Which sucks, because I’m, what, a little more than halfway in? No way it’s this easy.

And as Knightley and Emma realize their feelings the next day, they actually run towards each other, SEE each other...and then get iterrupted by Frank carrying Harriet post-her being attacked by muggers GOD FUCKING DAMMIT REALLY?

Plus, it looks like Harriet might be in love with Knightley now, after the previous night. HowEVER, since the previous night, Emma is now in love with Knightley, and believes that Harriet’s feelings are directed towards her rescuer, Frank Churchill. But Frank’s in love with Jane. Like, for sure he’s in love with Jane. And Knightley’s in love with Emma, although Mrs. Weston believes that he’s in love with ane, as he leant her his chariot the previous night, although he DIDN’T do that, and the chariot (and piano) must’ve come from Frank, who’s actually in love with her, not Harriet, as Emma believes. YOU GOT THAT? BECAUSE I’M ASTONISHED THAT I DO

Summer comes, and there seemingly no major changes to the love lives of our main characters. Can’t say that for George’s mansion, as he’s unveiled all of the paintings in the place.

Might be wrong about the progression of relationship thing, as George and Harriet appear to be getting along, and Emma and George suddenly...aren’t. And THEN, Jane tells Ema that she’s feeling super down at the moment, and leaves. Which is when Frank shows up, which Emma appears to not be super happy about.

Later, at a luncheon, Emma takes out her emotions upon Miss Bates who, while kind of annoying during the film, doesn’t deserve the insult lobbied her way by Emma. Afterwards, George DESTROYS her, and she...she gets it. She’s been an asshole.

After a good cry, she goes to apologize to Miss Bates, who immediately forgives her, as she tends to do. It’s also pretty quickly revealed after that that we find out that Frank has ALWAYS been engaged to Jane, since he arrived to Highbury. AND, Emma finally findss out that Harriet’s in love with George, not Frank. Which...yeah, Emma’s not a huge fan of, for obvious reasons.

However, Emma points out that George might have been trying to get Harriet involved with Mr. Martin, but also tries to step back. However, Harriet RIGHTLY calls her out this time, bringing up the fact that Emma fancies George, and that it’s because of Emma that she refused Mr. Martin. And Emma finally gets it. ALL of it.

George, hearing of Frank’s engagement, goes to comfort Emma in her time of distress. And after railing out Frank for his lying ass, he starts to confess his true feelings to Emma. But she tries to stop him, but THERE AIN’T NO STOPPIN’ LOVE BABY

And as he STRAIGHT-UP PROPOSES to her...her nose bleeds and she says no.

Finally, it’s confirmed that George was speaking on Mr. Matin’s behalf, not his own, and Emma pledges to make things right herself. She delivers the painting of Harriet to Mr. Martin, and he proposes to her. Harriet accepts, and has also finally heard from her father, who isn’t a nobleman at all, but a shoemaker. Emma still invites them over to their estate, and the two make up as friends.

And speaking of making up, George and Emma also make up, and the two are officially engaged to be wed. And it’s honestly...quite lovely. Which describes the whole film, which comes to a close.

WHEW. Now THAT...was a Recap. See you in the Review!

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smiles-quotes · 5 years ago

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She’s my girl JJ x Reader

Hey guys so here’s just a quick one shot I did cause this TV show is just fucking amazing. And can i just say WTF was that shit with Kiara and Pope they have zero chemistry. JJ should’ve ended up with Kiara tbh. Warnings of violence

You can read it here on ao3 or below :)

JJ hadn’t had the easiest time with his father, that was for sure. He was ultimately surprised nobody had really poked around and found out just how bad it was with his pops. He knew that he shouldn’t have to put up with this, but it was his father and some people must have it worse right? Summer seemed to be the perfect time to just forget all his problems and just live. He mostly stayed at John B’s place refusing to go to his fathers if he could avoid it. Food was ‘meh’, he hadn’t gotten any all day and the weed gave him cravings which is why they were all (John B, Kiara and Pope) headed to the Wreck hoping Kie’s dad could give them some leftovers. Pope was ranting about his scholarship when JJ saw you, fuckin’ Y/N. She was the most beautiful girl he had ever seen, and fuck she was fierce. JJ remembered seeing you beat up a few guys, most of them Kook’s and stupid idiots who didn’t know their boundaries and that he found hot as hell. You were also JJ’s neighbour, JJ had known you all his life. They would sneak out beers when their families were asleep and go down by the beach. Those were the good old days, it had been a while since JJ had talked to you since he wasn’t at his place recently.

He snapped out of his thoughts when John B shoved him to the side laughing, “It’s been five minutes and you haven’t said a word!” John B laughed, “Where you at dude?” He threw an arm around JJ’s shoulders bringing him closer so he could ruffle his hair.

“Nah I’m good, just food man.” JJ shoved himself from John B’s grip, before looking over his shoulder to try and spot you once more.

“She’s right there.” Kie pointed to the girl walking across the street. You were laughing at something a friend of yours was saying, waving your hands in salute before reaching the sidewalk. God she was just so gorgeous. “Oh man you’ve got it bad.” Kie laughed, running her hands through her hair to bring it up in a messy ponytail.

“Wh-what no,” He spluttered, “I mean okay yeah, yeah I do but have you seen her.” JJ added waving to all of her. Pope and John B laughed in silent agreement and Kie just shook her head silently with a small smile on her face.

“You’ve had a crush on her for ages man!” Pope added “Just like confess your feelings or some shit before this gets sad.”

“You do realize i’ll never be good enough for her right, like what do I have to offer?” JJ scratched the back of his neck, his friends quickly started to protest saying he was more than enough but JJ put his hands up saying “Guys, doesn’t matter it’s never going to happen either way. She’s a thousand times better than me an-”

“Who’s a thousand times better than you?” A voice cut him off. JJ turned around with a yelp only to find you looking at him expectantly. “Do I have to go kick some girls ass here? She thinks she’s better than you?” you added teasingly but JJ knew that if he said the word she’d do it.

“Uh no, no I mean I just,” JJ tried obviously flustered which got a laugh out of you. God’s her laugh was beautiful JJ thought as you tucked a piece of hair behind your ear looking up at JJ. “It’s nothing, don’t worry about it.” His friends just snickered behind him which captured y/n’s attention a cloud of confusion crossing your face at their antics.

“Mhhm,” you smiled, “You home tonight?”

“Uhh- no, we’re going to do a fire down by the beach with a keg if you want to join though.” JJ announced excitedly making the others chuckle as his antics, JJ couldn’t stand still on his best days, always full of energy.

“Oh, that’d be great. I have to make dinner for my folks but if I can sneak out after then I’ll pop by. If I’m not imposing.” You explained slowly biting your nails. It was a nervous gesture he recognized. He had spent nights trying to get you to open up about it until you finally admitted the habit had started because your parents were always telling you you took too much space and annoyed everyone.

JJ quickly stepped up grabbing your arm to stop you from biting your nails, “Hey no, you know you’ll never be a bother to me. Come on y/n.” He dropped a quick kiss to your fingers before letting you retrieve your hand. JJ had seen you bite at your fingers till they bled, he hated when you did that to yourself. He looked up from your hand only now noticing how close you both were and man your eyes. JJ felt he could just look at you all day and never get bored.

“Anyways I, I think I have to go now before I piss off my folks. I’m late home so yeah, bye JJ.” You stepped back from JJ, looking at your watch before leaving without a further word. JJ watched you go in a dreamy daze before Kiara snapped her fingers in front of his face bringing him back to reality.

“You are head over heels in love with her man,” Pope laughed, clapping him on the back.

“You fuckin kissed her fingers, never knew you could be such a romantic.” John B snickered, him and Pope leaning on one another as they laughed.

“Cut it off man, she’s like a pearl in the sea you know.” JJ smiled goofily motioning to the world around him as if he needed to be heard.

“Oh no that’s just cheesy,” Kie smirked “She’s literally into you though, I never knew you could make a girl blush like that JJ.” She teased.

“Oh shut it guys.” JJ lightly shoved the guys before they set out for the Wreck once again.

The party down at the beach was in full swing and the guys had teased him the rest of the afternoon for his hopeless crush on y/n. He’d been coerced into a conversation with Kie about how he should go for it and he just nodded the whole time so she would let it go. No matter what they said JJ knew that you couldn’t possibly be into him. There were so many better guys out there he didn’t think you could ever think of him that way.

“A penny for your thoughts?” You asked laughing. You’d shown up! JJ didn’t think you would actually show but yet there you were and looking gorgeous as ever. You were wearing the same clothing from before but still looked damn good. You had a ratty Led Zeppelin t-shirt with denim shorts and although that was a common look in the cut he didn’t think he’d seen anyone else wear it better.

“I uh, do you want a beer?” JJ asked, finally looking up to your eyes to notice you staring at his chest? Arms? “You checking me out y/n?” He chuckled lowly.

“Oh don’t think I didn’t notice you doing the same JJ.” You laughed but he could see the dark blush staining your cheeks. “And I would appreciate a beer very much thank you.” You chimed, biting your bottom lip distracting JJ for half a second. JJ nodded and disappeared for a few seconds before reappearing with a red cup of beer.

“There you are.” JJ smiled, handing you the cup and taking a sip from his own. “How are you, it’s been too long since we’ve hung out.”

“Well you’re the one who disappeared on me,” you said with a small smile, “but I guess I’m doing alright. Same old, you?”

“Yeah I’ve been, I’m good. Just a rough patch with my dad I guess.” JJ answered walking out towards the water beside you. “Sorry for abandoning you though, I know you must be missing my presence something fierce.” JJ teased lightly, happy to see it bring a blush to your cheeks. God’s he loved being able to do that.

“Ha-ha, you’re hilarious. I’m pretty sure it must be you missing me something fierce.” You rebutted shaking your head. It occured to JJ that they were flirting and he had to restrain himself from jumping up in happiness.

“Uhuh,” JJ smirked stepping closer to her, “I missed you always face planting in the sand cause you’re too clumsy to walk.”

You groaned at the memory, it had been quite funny. It was a few weeks ago when they had both sneaked out of their houses with beer and ended up wasted. You had had too many beers and kept tripping in the sand, JJ had needed to carry you back. “I’ll have you know that was one time and I was wasted.”

“Excuses excuses,” JJ laughed, still unbearably close to one another, “I’m convinced you only wanted to be in my strong arms.” JJ remembered carrying you back to the hammock in your backyard where they’d crashed for the night. A small hammock he might add.

A wave rushed up to them, the cold water hitting their feet which sent you into his arms and JJ stumbling back, his arms coming up around you to stabilize them both. “Oh baby, if you want me to hold you all you have to do is ask.”

You swatted at his arm with a look of indignation but made no move to step back. He let out a small laugh bringing you impossibly closer which gave him a small sound of satisfaction from you. “JJ I-” you started looking up at him. Their lips were almost touching, he stared at you, noticing you lick your lips in anticipation. Gods he wanted to kiss you so badly but he wanted to make it good, and he was always kind of an asshole he thought to himself.

“You what?” JJ whispered, he could feel your breath on his lips and he barely held back from kissing you right then and there. He could see you pout slightly as he awaited for you to answer him.

“I want-” and JJ’s hand came up to cup your cheek, the other grabbing you by the waist a little more harshly drawing a small whine out of you.

“You want what?” JJ teased, his hand grabbing your ass hitching you closer and your lips lightly touched.

“You asshole, just ki-” and then he was kissing you and damn was he happy he teased you cause he could feel your breath hitch and you were grabbing him as if he was about to disappear. JJ had spent hours upon hours imagining this moment and now that he was kissing you and being able to feel how your soft lips sighed open in content. He knew this was a thousand times better than what he ever could’ve imagined. You tasted sweet and warm and a little like beer but it’s perfect. JJ smiles at the small moan you let slip when he licks into your mouth and suddenly the kiss is something else. Its harsh and teeth collide for a second making you both wince slightly before you’re back at it and your nails are digging into his scalp. It should hurt he thinks but instead it creates pulses of pleasure. Groaning JJ grabs at your ass and his other hand holding you by the waist squeezing you gently wanting to bring you closer.

You both separate, needing to breathe and with a smile JJ keeps kissing along your jaw and sucking slightly at your skin making you clutch his hair harder. You let out another moan making JJ growl, wanting to be closer you push your hips together making you lose balance and suddenly you’re falling backwards. You let out a little yelp of surprise and JJ starts laughing as he lands into the sand with you on top of him.

“Gods, I’ve been wanting to kiss you for ages.” JJ laughs his hands running up your thighs.

“Then why didn’t you sooner?” You say leaning forwards to kiss him again and you bite his bottom lip making him open his mouth panting slightly. JJ grabs you by the back of the neck and it’s messy, you’re both fighting for dominance of the kiss and gods JJ has never been more turned on before.

“Well, what do we have here?” Rafe pipes up with his two other goons, Topper and Klece. JJ and you separate suddenly at the interruption, he gets up slowly pushing you behind him. The three boys seem drunk and itching for a fight. Fucking kook’s. JJ’s a little surprised they came to bother them since they gained a little distance from the party when they were walking.

“Can’t you guys see we were busy now?” JJ sneers annoyed. You’re clutching his arm tightly, he’s not too sure if it’s to hold him back from them or because you’re scared. JJ knows that no matter how many guys you’ve beaten up, you’d never taken on several at the same time.

“What are we bothering you and your slut here?” Rafe laughs and before he knows what he’s doing JJ marches up to him and slams him on the side of the face.

“Don’t you fucking dare call her that!” JJ shouts trying to punch the other in the face again but Klece grabs him by the neck in chokehold while Topper punches him in the abdomen.

“Let him go!” You shout running forwards only to get thrown back by Rafe.

“Don’t fucking touch my girl you piece of shit!” JJ seethes trying to get away by jamming his elbows into Klece that still has a strong hold on him. JJ can feel himself gasping for breath as Klece breaks off his air supply. Rafe just laughs and grabs you by your hair making you stand up from where he pushed you down.

“What did you say?” Rafe demands with a grin on his face. “You tell me not to touch her?” JJ manages to get out of Klece’s hold, spitting out rage when Rafe grabs you harshly by the jaw making you whimper in fear. You know in the back of his head that Rafe is about to kiss you but before he can manage you knee him in the balls and JJ slams into him. JJ manages to get several hits in before Topper and Klece are back on him and throwing him off Rafe.

“Just let him go, we weren’t even bothering you guys!” You run forwards trying to get to JJ, but then Rafe has you by the waist hauling you off and your screaming bloody murder to get other pogues here. He can see Rafe shouting something in your face and ripping your shirt open laughing. In his rage JJ’s aware of running coming towards him from where Klece is back to choking him. Suddenly the boys are ripped off of him by John B and Pope. Kiara’s spitting into Rafe’s face. Without a second to lose JJ tackles Rafe to the ground sending fist after fist into his face. It takes him a few seconds to realize that he’s also shouting something at Rafe.

“You fucking piece of shit, never touch my girl again or I’ll fucking kill you I swear!” JJ fumes only being taken off Rafe by John B and Pope. The guy looks like he won’t be able to see for the next few days but you don’t care. JJ thinks John B, Pope and Kiara are talking to him, telling him to calm down. It only takes a whimper from you and he snaps out of his anger turning to you. Your shirt is ripped and there’s a bruise forming on your jaw which almost sets JJ off again but JJ can see your tears forming so he gathers you into his arms making soothing noises.

“I’m so sorry baby, I swear they won’t hurt you again. Okay?” JJ whispers, stepping back to look into your eyes. “Here put this on.” JJ says taking off his shirt and putting it over your head. It has a bit of blood on it but you appreciate it as it hides your chest from the others.

“What happened?” John B asks.

“I don’t know, those fucking kooks came to bother us when we were alone.”JJ spits out anger resurfing but then you step into his arms sniffling. “We’re gonna go, can we crash at your place John B.” John B just nods as an answer. JJ cradles you into his arms, nodding back to John B in thanks.

“You hurt anywhere?” JJ whispers scanning your body for injuries he might’ve missed.

“No I don’t think so,” you tremble, biting your nails unconsciously. JJ still seems mad about the whole situation but after clenching his jaw for several seconds he looks at you decided.

“All right, let’s go.” JJ says holding you close, walking to John B’s. When you get at John B’s house JJ pulls you close, both of you crashing into the pullout. You’re still shaken about the whole situation, shocked at how much of an asshole these kook’s can be.

“I’ll get them back for what they did.” JJ mutters angrily thinking up plans of what he could do as revenge. You grab JJ’s face in your hands gently shocking him out of his stupor.

“Let’s not think about them right now.” You say looking at JJ in the eyes, grateful for how much he defended you and still wants to defend you. JJ has several bruises on his side blooming like never before. His lip is split and he has bruises on the side of his face. “I didn’t see them hit you in the face.” You whisper in confusion. JJ’s eyes snap to you but he quickly looks away shrugging.

“That was my old man, nothing I can’t deal with.” JJ admits running his hand down your back. JJ has never fully admitted that his dad would hit him but from all the times you hung out together you had your doubts.

“Oh sweety, it’s nothing you should have to deal with.” You reply earnestly. “You can stay with me if you want.”

“You wouldn’t mind?” JJ stammered self consciously.

“Of course I don’t mind, I feel safest when I’m with you,” You look up to him smiling shyly. JJ’s looking back at you with something like awe in his eyes. “You know my hammock misses you.” You add making JJ laugh at the memory.

“Gods you have no idea how much I love you, do you?” JJ whispers smiling as he holds you closer to him dropping a kiss on your lips.

“I love you too you know.” You add your hand running through his hair to coe rest on his cheek wiping away the tear on his face. “I’m serious, I really do love you.” JJ lets out a choked sound at your admission and buries his head into your chest cuddling you close.

John B, Pope and Kiara find you asleep in one another’s arms the next morning and they smile to themselves taking a picture with John B’s old Polaroid camera. The camera’s flash wakes the both of you causing JJ to grab a pillow throwing it vaguely in their direction before cuddling into your side once again.

#outer banks #JJ outer banks #outer banks JJ #JJxreader #John B #Pope #Kiara #JJ should be with Kiara what is all the bullshit?#netflix #oneshot

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xxx-cat-xxx · 5 years ago

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What We Lose in the Fire We Gain in the Flood

Summary: The universe is saved, Thanos is defeated, the Vanished are returned, and Tony has survived (though with severe radiation burns and one less arm). Everything should be good now - except that it isn’t.

While Tony embarks on a painful and frustrating recovery, he wrestles with the fear that he’s no longer capable of caring for his family. Meanwhile, Peter tries to find his place in a world that just doesn’t feel like his own anymore.

Words: 13.5k

Tags: Irondad, Spiderson, Ironfam, Angst with a Happy Ending, Fix-it (but it takes a while to get there), Emotional and Physical Whump, very faint mention of death ideation, Injuries, Vomiting, Everyone needs a Hug

A/N: For @aderymoonlight. Thank you for the prompt and for waiting half a year until it was finally ready. A million thanks to @whumphoarder for being the world’s best beta reader (seriously, I don’t know how I would have done this without you). Additional thanks to @sallyidss, @twentyghosts, and @newnewyorker93 for helping me with the tricky details. You are amazing!

Link to read on AO3

___________________________

Like the flame of a candle caught in the wind, the arc reactor in Tony’s chest flickers, resists, and then eventually dies down. And so does something within Peter.

“Stay back!” Dr. Strange shouts. He draws a sparkling circle into the dusty air, encompassing Tony and Pepper before making them disappear right in front of Peter’s eyes.

And suddenly, Peter feels a wave of exhaustion crash over him. The world shimmers before him like it’s about to dissolve. He sinks to his knees, drawing in laboured breaths. It’s simply too much. Within one day, he went from a school bus, to another planet’s moon, to the battlefield where the fate of the world is being decided, and he feels as if some parts of him are still scattered throughout the universe.

Peter thinks he might throw up (or possibly faint), and he figures that he should probably alert someone to that, but the only person he actually knows around here is Mr. Stark, who might be dead, and oh god-

“Spider-Man?” It’s Colonel Rhodes, to whom Peter has spoken maybe twice in his life. But the man looks at him as if he’s known Peter for years, as if he’s relieved to see him alive, and as if he still isn’t sure whether Peter is actually back or just a dream. “Are you injured?”

“I don’t- I don’t know,” Peter stutters, and he honestly doesn’t. He tries to get to his feet, but the world starts to spin around him in a nauseating way, so he sinks back down onto his knees. He can taste bile at the back of his throat and instinctively presses a fist to his mouth.

“Okay.” Rhodey gives him a quick once-over, apparently not liking what he sees. “Stay put. Now where’s that goddamn magician -”

Then Rhodey is gone and maybe a minute, or a year, or a century later, the world explodes into golden sparkles and Peter has the unnerving feeling of being crumbled up into small pieces and sucked through the hose of a vacuum cleaner before being spat out again. He lands on a very clean linoleum tiled floor, his stomach in his throat.

He starts gagging for good then, and someone is shoving a kidney-shaped pink basin into his hands. Hospital, his brain registers while he heaves up the breakfast he ate years ago mixed with dust from another planet’s moon, all the while his heart pounding with worry for his mentor. He clings to the basin with all he has because something in him is still convinced that he might dissolve again at any moment.

“Take it easy, kid.” Someone is patting him on the back, and all Peter can do is nod before he is throwing up again. “Be right back,” the someone says, but then nobody comes back for a long time. There’s all hell broken loose around Peter, doctors and nurses running hectically to and fro, wheeling patients around. He knows that he should probably help - he’s Spider-Man after all - but he isn’t sure whether he can stand up just now.

It seems like years that he sits there, faintly wondering whether everyone has maybe just forgotten about him. He stops throwing up at some point, but still feels dizzy and his bones seem weirdly light, as if he might float away if he isn’t careful.

Then, finally, there’s a voice he knows. “Kid? Kid, is that you?”

“Happy?” Peter glances up and there he is, older and heavier and with a child in his arms.

“Kid? Peter? Oh god.” He sets down the girl and then encases Peter in his arms, tightly, the second completely unexpected hug today. “It worked. Oh my god, it worked. Where’s Tony?”

“I don’t know,” Peter croaks, and then, out of all the questions in his mind, he picks the most recent one. “Is that your kid?”

“What? No, no. That’s Morgan. She’s all Tony’s.” The girl has started to cry, tugging at Happy’s coat with one hand while hiding from Peter behind the man’s knees. “Okay, let me get her to Pepper and you into a bed - you look about ready to pass out.”

Ten minutes later, Peter is lying in a hospital bed, his suit pulled down to his chest to reveal dozens of bruises, an IV in the crook of his elbow and a blood pressure cuff wrapped around his bicep, and all he can think is Mr. Stark has a daughter?

After a while, Happy comes back and shoves a phone into his hands. May is on the other side, breathing heavily. “Oh god, Peter, oh my god,” she chokes out. Peter tries to reply, but suddenly everything comes crashing over him and he’s sobbing, heaving, hyperventilating, until someone empties a syringe into his IV port that knocks him out.

May is there when he wakes up. The sedative is dissolving quicker in his body than it would in a non-enhanced human, but it’s making him drowsy and slow and his limbs so heavy that it feels impossible to even move.

“Hey darling,” May whispers, blinking tears away. May doesn’t cry very often, so this must be bad, he thinks woozily.

“I’m okay,” Peter slurs, despite having no idea whether that’s even true. And then, although sleep is pulling him under again, he simply has to ask, “Were you… here?” Because he has to know if she had to spend another five years in grief - has to know just how broken she is.

“No, honey, I was gone. Reappeared in our living room in the middle of someone else’s family dinner, just to see that they finally painted the walls.”

“Okay,” he breathes, and then, his eyelids already closing, he murmurs, “How’s Mr. Stark?”

“He’ll live,” May says. She adds something else, but he’s gone already.

When Peter wakes up the next time, May asks him whether he’s okay with her joining the understaffed nurses in treating all the wounded. Besides those hurt during the battle, many were injured while Returning, snapped back to life in the middle of road crossings or deposited into thin air where there used to be five-storey buildings. May’s a doer - she hates to sit idle when she could help - so Peter agrees immediately.

He’s got a bunch of broken ribs, a concussion, and a number of deep cuts, all of which are already starting to heal, but they let him stay the rest of the night because it’s not like he has anywhere else to go. The hospital is overcrowded, so they have to move him and that’s how Peter ends up in a bed next to Tony’s. There’s a thin curtain separating the patients from each other, but it isn’t pulled completely closed, so Peter is able to catch a glimpse of his mentor.

Tony is hooked up to so many tubes and wires that he looks like a Cyborg. Despite knowing that these are the very machines that keep him alive, Peter suddenly has the irrational desire to tear them all off and free him, as if that would make him healthy again.

He doesn’t, of course. Instead, Peter drifts a little, unable to really go back to sleep, and that’s how he witnesses Tony waking up for the first horrible time, before they put him in a coma for days. His mentor takes one painful, wheezing breath, and the only part of his face that isn’t covered by bandages shows raw panic. He makes a choking noise, gasping for air, and then cries out in a way that sounds barely human anymore.

He might be dying, Peter thinks. What if he dies here and now and I can’t do anything to stop it? But then a doctor bursts into the room and minutes later Tony is out again.

That’s the first time that Peter wonders how much it cost to bring him back.

Five days later, when Peter is long out of the hospital and the world is slowly starting to shift back into a state that once used to be called ‘normal’, when Tony finally stirs and his eyelids flutter open, Bruce expects a joke. A punchline. Triumph. A retroactive kick to Thanos’ ass.

But instead, Tony whispers, brokenly, “Please tell me it’s over.”

And then, to Bruce’s horror, he starts to cry.

The Parkers’ old apartment was rented out to new tenants during the five years they were gone. May takes one look at the family staying there, too many people for the three tiny rooms, and decides that she doesn’t have the heart to enforce her right of return.

Instead, they now temporarily stay in an awfully luxurious home that Happy arranged for them through Pepper. Peter knows he should be grateful for not ending up homeless, but he’d have almost preferred to live in one of the shelters where the rest of the Returned are staying, just to make him feel a little less out of place.

Everything is still settling - the bureaucracy’s gone crazy, and school won’t start for another month at least, which will likely result in severely shortened summer holidays - but May is already back to work. The hospitals are still overfilled and every person with medical knowledge is needed. Thus, Peter spends his time catching up with Ned and MJ and trying hard not to think too much about what happened.

A few days after Tony has woken up, Happy texts Peter to let him know that he can visit.

Happy picks him up with an electric car that opens with a fingerprint sensor - despite half of the world’s engineers being dusted, technology seems to have advanced quite a bit. He’s as grumpy as ever, but somehow in a softer way that makes it clear to Peter he doesn’t really mean it. He glances at Peter every few seconds through the rearview mirror as if he still can’t believe that the kid is back. Peter can’t blame him. He himself has a hard time digesting what all has happened, and more than once he’s woken up bathed in sweat from a nightmare of Titan.

There are drawing books and a plush toy in the backseat of the car and Happy doesn’t say anything when Peter eats a chocolate muffin and the crumbs fall down onto the leather upholstery. It’s nice somehow, but also weird. Just another detail that makes Peter realise what all he’s missed. Happy is ‘Uncle Happy’ now.

Peter’s stomach is curling anxiously when they pull up to the hospital. He wants to see Tony, but something about the memory of him wheezing in the hospital bed is gnawing at him. He wonders how much Tony has changed in the five years that passed. He wonders what he’s going to say to him.

In the end, it turns out that his nervousness was in vain. Tony is fast asleep when he arrives at the hospital, knocked out cold by the combined force of painkillers and the effort of having been awake the whole morning. He doesn't flinch when Morgan scrambles over him in the hospital bed with her stuffed animals. The girl doesn't seem to be phased anymore by the tubes and wires sticking out of her dad, but Peter is careful not to touch anything, afraid that a single wrong move might worsen Tony's condition.

Tony looks a bit better than he did the day of the battle, but not much. His right arm is gone - nothing left there to be salvaged, they say. His face is still mostly covered in bandages that run down to his shoulder, but Peter can see that his right eye is continuously leaking tears from below a burnt eyelid.

“We'll let him know that you came by. He'll be glad,” Pepper promises, and Peter nods and thanks her but secretly he isn't so sure that Tony would be glad about being seen in this state by anyone. On the other hand, that was the Tony of five years ago, and the more Peter observes everyone around him, the more he realises that he knows practically nothing about this new Tony.

He asks Happy to drop him off at Ned’s and they spend the evening getting up-to-date on the state of the world’s computer games. For a few hours, he almost manages to pretend that everything is normal.

Recovery isn’t a straight road.

Ten days after the battle, just when Tony is able to stay awake for more than a few hours at a time and the doctors are starting to reduce the meds that keep him high and loopy and generally incoherent, Tony’s stump arm gets infected.

Pepper first notices the chills that run through him while he weakly plays with Morgan in the hospital bed. By evening, he is throwing up what little lunch they managed to make him eat and the next day his temperature is up to 103 degrees. The meds do nothing to keep away the fever dreams. Pepper finds herself at her husband’s bedside once again, squeezing his one remaining hand while he moans and shivers his way through the nightmares and pain.

He has a seizure the night after that when his temperature hits 104. Then Tony’s heart gives out and for a few terrible hours Pepper is afraid that after all he’s gone through, this is how they’re going to lose him. She has Morgan in her lap on the waiting room bench outside while the medics are shocking the life back into him, not sure whether her child is holding onto her or the other way around.

Tony wakes up with a gasp. His memory is a blur of pain and surreal, screwed images of a world in which everyone he loves is dead. But that can’t be true because just next to him, his wife and daughter are sitting, very much alive, looking at him with obvious relief on their faces.

“What appn’?” he croaks, trying to reach for Pepper with an arm that isn’t there.

“Drama queen,” Pepper whispers, and he notices she’s crying. “I almost thought we were gonna lose you.”

“What, because I took a bath in gamma radiation?” he replies with a smirk. The words get stuck somewhere in the middle, but she understands anyway, smiling through the tears on her face.

Tony, it turns out, is stubborn as a mule. After they resuscitated him, the antibiotics finally showed some effect in fighting the infection. His fever breaks two days later.

It’s the only time Pepper has cried since they left the battlefield. Rhodey talks the doctors into putting a second bed in the room and takes Morgan out to the playground for some distraction. Pepper makes it to the bed before collapsing, then sleeps for 14 hours straight. Tony, still feverish and weak, joins her for most of the time, but watches her whenever he wakes, wondering how he ever deserved someone like that.

He remembers the battle with a mixture of horror, awe, and disbelief. They did it. They won, just like the kid said. Everyone is alive, has come back to life, except for Natasha, who definitely deserved better. But Tony knows that everyone in his team would have thought it worth to trade their own life for so many others’, the assassin included.

It should all be good, then.

But it isn’t. It won’t be for a long, long time.

“Tony, it’s okay, you’re okay, hey, just wake up -”

“Oh god,” he jerks awake with the leftovers of a scream on his lips, taking huge, desperate gulps in an attempt to suck in air. It was real - so fucking real.

“Breathe with me.” Bruce’s voice is impossibly calm and reassuring. Tony would call him out on not being that kind of doctor if only he could spare the breath to do so. His chest is hurting so much that he’s almost sure he’s dying for real this time. “In and out. Come on, Tony. Look at me.”

Tony tries, tries so hard, and after a few minutes he’s gotten himself enough under control that the pain in his chest subsides and the air actually reaches his lungs. But with the oxygen comes the realisation, crystal-clear. It’s not over. It will never be over. Even after his death and defeat, after being killed not once, but twice, Thanos still has a firm grip on Tony’s mind. The disappointment hits so hard that it drives tears to his eyes.

“It’s okay,” Bruce says. “You’re okay now. We’re all fine.”

“It’s not okay,” Tony croaks, defeated. “It’s not fair. It’s over, we won, this isn’t supposed to happen anymore -”

Bruce gives him a sad smile. “PTSD doesn’t end when the threat goes away, Tony. That’s why it’s called post-traumatic.”

“I know,” Tony replies impatiently, remembering New York clearly enough, how he never really left space even after coming back to earth. “I just thought that now - now that we’ve brought them back - that it would make a difference.”

But that’s it, the ultimate proof that it’s not Thanos who is responsible for how screwed up Tony’s mind is, but Tony himself. Defeating Thanos was not a magical solution to all of Tony’s problems the same way that Thanos’ plan was not a solution to any of the universe’s problems.

He almost wants to cry. “Will this ever get better?” he asks, voice impossibly small.

Bruce gives him a sad look. “I’d like to say that it will, but I don’t want to lie. You know, my father died almost thirty years ago, and there are still nights when I wake up and feel like he’s leaning over me, about to hit me with a belt.”

Tony bites his lip upon that admission, feeling ashamed and angry all the same. Bruce is somehow dealing with his trauma - hell, everybody is. He shouldn’t be having so much trouble pulling himself together.

“Don’t think that.”

“What?” Tony asks.

“I can see it on your face. Stop thinking that you’re being silly. You’re not. I know how much it screws with your mind.” Bruce’s voice is warm as he continues. His huge finger lightly brushes Tony’s hand. “We’re all here for you, you know that, right? And once you’ve recovered a bit more, maybe you could give therapy a chance.”

“Yeah,” Tony says, his voice lacking conviction. “Thanks, big guy.”

He doesn’t want to go back to sleep, but the meds he is on don’t really leave him any choice. He sinks back onto the pillows. Minutes later, he is falling through a hole in the sky. Thanos is exactly where he left him.

When he was younger, Peter used to own a game in which he had to tilt a small wooden maze back and forth until the tiny metal balls contained in it rolled into the right divots. It’s a little how the world feels to him now. People are trying to find their place, struggling to fit in, but there are just too many metal balls and not even close to enough divots for everyone.

Peter’s lucky. With May, Ned, and MJ all having been snapped, nobody close to him has moved on without him. This is what he tries to tell himself whenever he doesn’t recognise a reference to a movie, or when he realises that his juniors are suddenly a whole head taller than him, or when he mourns the loss of all his personal possessions. Ned is much worse off. Only half his family got snapped, and his mom moved on - and in - with a new boyfriend in the meantime. After Ned and his father Returned, his parents have been fighting without break until Ned temporarily moved to stay with one of his uncles. MJ categorically doesn’t talk about her family, but May’s heard rumours that MJ’s older brother left during the five years and still hasn’t been found.

Peter’s lucky. That’s what he tells himself when he gasps awake from nightmares of Titan, of Tony’s deathly pale face in a heap of rubble, when he has to dig his nails into the back of his hands so hard that they draw blood just to convince himself that they won’t dissolve in front of his eyes.

Instead of crime fighting, he goes out scouting. One night, he climbs a garbage heap near their former apartment and finally finds the old suitcase that holds Ben’s few remaining personal items. He cries a bit then, because it’s the middle of the night with no one to see the tears on his cheeks, and it’s all just a little too much.

May doesn’t ask where he found the suitcase when he hands it to her during breakfast the next morning. She just brushes a finger over the dark rings under his eyes and hugs him tightly before making him the first cup of coffee he’s ever tasted.

Tony’s spent a lot of time in his life ‘recovering’ from something or another. There was the heart surgery he underwent after getting his arc reactor removed, the terrifying weeks in the cave with Yinsen where painkillers were a rarity, blurry periods of rehab in his twenties that he can’t really remember, and the time after Siberia with a cracked sternum that he doesn’t want to. He’s used to dealing with a body that’s held together mostly by morphine and willpower.

So when the doctors tell him that it will take a long time until he will be able to walk again, that blood pressure regulation will likely be an issue for the rest of his life, that the nervous system on his right side is fried, that he is lucky he didn’t lose more than an arm (and technically an ear, since he is almost deaf now on his right side), Tony doesn’t break. No legs for a while then. One ear, one arm. It’s not ideal, but he can work with that.

Tony spends the next week with Pepper and Morgan, eagerly awaiting the day he will be allowed to go home. He is usually exhausted enough by lunch that he has to sleep for a few hours, which annoys him almost more than anything else. The fever keeps coming back in the evenings, but he ignores it the best he can and dials up the morphine enough to be able to think through the pain without getting drowsy. He bullies Rhodey into smuggling a tablet into his hospital room and clumsily starts to draw up schematics for a prosthetic arm with his left hand during the nights when he is alone.

The kid visits one day. He looks tired and sort of nervous, but he is still absolutely alive (which Tony knew, of course, but there are only so many times you can see someone die in a nightmare before you start having doubts), so alive that Tony feels himself tearing up a little.

Peter stops dead in his tracks when he enters the room, his eyes widening at the sight of Tony’s burnt and scarred face. The stump arm is only covered with a light bandage now and Tony’s sunken eyes and hollow cheeks betray the days spent in a feverish haze. Pepper said that the kid visited before, so he must have known what was coming, but Tony guesses that it’s still kind of a shock to realise the permanent nature of all the damage. He himself still avoids mirrors as much as possible.

Sensing that the situation has every potential to slip into the worst levels of awkward, Tony ploughs ahead. “Guess that’s it for the Playboy cover shoots then,” he jokes lightly.

For a moment, the kid looks baffled. Then the corners of his mouth lift and curl into a smile. “I think they would make an exception for the superhero of the year.” He steps fully into the room and carefully settles on the chair next to Tony’s bed before blurting out, “Mr. Stark, I’m so glad you’re not dead!”

Half an hour later, the two have pulled up the schematics for the prosthetic arm and Tony is explaining all the special features to the kid. Tony’s head is aching and the phantom pain is bad today - he knows he was due for more painkillers a while ago. But this is fun, this is what he’s been missing for five goddamn years, and for a moment, it feels like nothing has changed at all.

The kid looks exhausted and Tony makes a mental note to check in with May as soon as he’s more able to make sure that there’s no lasting damage from their involuntary trip to space.

“You’re adding a soldering iron to your own prosthesis?” Peter asks, flabbergasted.

Tony smirks. “Come on, you can’t tell me it’s not cool.”

“It is, but then add some more real-world practical things as well. Like a can opener.”

Tony sputters. “Next Pepper will ask me to integrate a spice grinder for her cooking. And Morgan will want storage space for Alpaca food.”

“You have an alpaca?” Peter’s face screws up and Tony can practically see how he is trying to fit this new information into the mental image he has of his mentor.

“It’s all the kid. Morgan has a very soft spot for animals. Even spiders.” He winks. “But she’s also into race cars and explosives, so don’t worry, I’m pretty sure she’s actually related to me.”

Peter chuckles and Tony is overwhelmed by the urge to take Peter to the lakehouse to meet Gerald and his daughter just as soon as he’s allowed to go home.

“Fireworks,” Peter says eventually. “You should add fireworks to the arm.”

Tony opens his mouth to protest, then closes it again and slowly makes a note on the sketch for the prototype, the letters a bit awkward from writing with his left hand.

“Speaking of special features, I’m gonna make you a suit with the newest tech and then you can go patrolling again,” Tony promises. “I know you can’t wait to get back to your secret identity. Just hold on a few more days before going out, okay?”

“Sure, of course,” Peter says with a nod, visibly happy that Tony has brought up the topic.

Then the nurse comes in and coaxes Tony into taking his meds and drinking water, for which he has to sit up completely. It leaves him dizzy and a bit out of breath. He leans his head back against the headboard and holds onto the sheets with his hand, counting down from ten. When the black fades away, Peter is looking at him with a faraway and slightly sentimental expression on his face.

“Mr. Stark?”

“Make it Tony, will you?” Tony says. “I think we’re past the formalities now.”

Peter swallows. “Okay,” he says. “Okay, Tony. I just...thank you for bringing me back. For saving us all.”

Tony waves his hand dismissively. “Eh, a few more times saving the world and I’ll get a free frozen yogurt.”

Happy comes to pick up the kid and drop a package off for Tony, who passes out as soon as they leave. When he wakes up in the late evening, the nurse informs him that Pepper and Morgan visited for a while but didn’t want to wake him up.

After choking down a tasteless dinner (he really needs to make a hefty donation to the hospital so that they can upgrade the cafeteria) Tony shifts gingerly to the side of the bed and bends down to pick up the cardboard box from where Happy set it. It contains the two pieces of the first prototype for the arm he’s designed over the past week.

It looks almost like a real arm, but he couldn’t resist adding some red and gold around the wrist and on the fingertips. The robotic prosthesis is based on musculoskeletal modelling, is neuro-adaptive, and, of course, powered by a tiny blue arc reactor set into the palm. Tony positions the upper part between his thighs, then takes the lower in his hand and sets out to connect the two pieces and -

It doesn’t fit. He tries again, thinking it was just his shakiness or a stubborn hinge somewhere, but no, it simply doesn’t fit. Upon closer inspection, the lower piece is about three millimeters wider than the upper one. It’s a small error, but enough to make it impossible to connect the pieces into a functioning prosthesis.

“FRIDAY,” Tony asks, trying to drone out the growing panic and the sound of his heart beating loud and fast in his ears. “There must have been an issue with the printer.”

“No, sir,'' the AI replies from the speakers of his phone on the bedside table. “It was printed exactly according to the specifications you entered.”

“Who made those measurements?” Tony asks, his breath quickening. He knows the answer. Of course he knows the answer.

“You did, boss.”

And that’s when Tony breaks.

Of course, the past week he’s been in pain and on drugs and not exactly clear in his head, but he’s worked in much worse states before. High on cocaine and perpetually drunk throughout most of his thirties. In Afghanistan, with a car battery keeping his stuttering heart alive. God, he invented a new element while literally dying. He is Tony Fucking Stark. He doesn’t make mistakes.

Except this time, he did.

The doctors say it will most likely not get worse, but they’re not sure whether it will ever get better. Tony’s brain, his essence, is most likely forever going to be damaged.

He is still cleverer than the majority of the human population, so nobody seems to think much of it. Tony, on the other hand, can’t help but feel like his world has been shaken to its core. Physical impairment is bearable; he has worked with that before. But if he can’t trust his own mind, he’s useless. Worse, he’s a liability.

He nods politely at the doctor whose last sentences are already being swallowed by the rushing in his ears. Then there’s only silence and the long, deep breaths he takes to fight the tightness in his chest.

“We’re gonna figure this out, Tony.” Pepper’s hand comes down on his shoulder. She looks at him as if she’s expecting a panic attack, and the funny thing is, he’s expecting one as well. But that’s the thing about anxiety; it’s anything but predictable. It rarely strikes when you expect it to.

Tony swallows. He doesn’t trust his voice, so he just grabs her hand with his remaining one and squeezes tightly. He once tricked his own heart into functioning again, but this time, it’s the very source of his intelligence that’s bailing on him. He doesn’t admit it to Pepper, but the truth is, he has no idea how to figure this one out.

They let him go a few days later.

“Daddy is crying,” Morgan points out in a stage whisper when Pepper pulls into the garage at the lake house.

“I’m not,” Tony corrects from where he is sitting next to her in the backseat. “My eye is a bit broken, just like when the tap was leaking in the kitchen, remember?” But his voice is suspiciously hoarse and through the rearview mirror Pepper can see him blinking rapidly. She can’t blame him - she’s feeling pretty sappy herself at bringing him home. For a while, neither of them were sure he’d ever see the lakehouse again.

The short walk to the front door and into the living room is tedious. Tony is operating a crutch with his left arm, his stump shoulder supported by Pepper while Morgan is impatiently running ahead of them. By the time they settle down onto the living room couch, all colour has drained from Tony’s face. He is panting and sweating and generally looking about ready to keel over.

“Let’s go and feed Gerald!” Morgan begs, climbing up onto her father’s lap and pulling at the chords of his sweater. “And then I’ll show you the tree house I built with Uncle Rhodey while you were at the hospital, and then we eat dinner, and then you have to read ‘If you give a mouse a cookie’ to me.”

“Sounds good, Morguna,” Tony replies in a slightly choked voice. He pulls her close to his chest and rests his chin lightly on her head, closing his eyes with a tired exhale. “Let me rest my legs for a bit, and then I’ll see what we can do, okay?”

And Pepper can see it, can spot on every inch of his face the frustration over how his body and his mind are betraying him battling with the gratitude for what he still has left. She can see his love for their daughter seeping from every pore of his body, but it is overshadowed by a fear that’s been in him for as long as she’s known him - a deep-sitting worry that he’s not good enough for any of the good things life gives to him.

All she wants is to find a way to make him understand that he deserves every scrap of happiness they can find together. She’s told him, in the early morning hours when nightmares would bar both of them from sleep and they were too tired to keep up their usual snark and banter. But sometimes words are not enough to make someone believe they deserve better.

She settles for bending over the two of them and pressing a long kiss to the top of each of their heads. Then she straightens up, puts on a smile and asks, “So, since it’s a special day, who’s up for cheeseburgers?”

It doesn’t really get easier. Something inside Tony seemed to have expected that things would miraculously improve once he was home, but of course they don’t. He’s still in a wheelchair most of the time. The physical therapist makes him stand up for longer and longer every day, which hurts like a bitch and regularly sends his blood pressure down to his ankles. Tony gets to see the living room from the perspective of the carpet more often than he ever wanted to.

He sleeps a lot. Maybe it’s his age that makes this recovery more difficult than all the previous ones, or the fact that the gauntlet has deep-fried his brain circuitry, but he can’t stay awake for more than half a day. Tony, who has been dealing with insomnia for as long as he can remember, thought he knew how it felt to be tired. But this is a different kind of tiredness, one that seems to stem from an exhausted brain, not body. He hates all the lost hours, hates the fog in his mind when he stays up too long, hates the nightmares that sometimes morph into anxiety attacks. Though it is arguably more bearable now that he wakes up to Morgan next to him playing with her Lego sets rather than a beeping heart monitor and a sterile hospital room.

Tony doesn’t give up on tinkering immediately. He tries to work on his arm again soon after he returns, but this time he can’t remember the exact modifications he'd planned for the dimensions. He hasn’t written them down anywhere and starting again from scratch seems like accepting defeat. So he boxes the arm back up and moves on to Peter’s suit.

He’s 3D-printed a new suit and is halfway through updating the safety systems when he notices the smell of smoke the same moment that FRIDAY starts sounding alarms. By the time the garage sprinklers have extinguished the flames, half of the suit’s fabric is black and charred, the central chest piece melted into the work table. It turns out that Tony configured the charger wrong, putting 2200 instead of 220 volts into it. The wires connecting it to the plug overheated and ignited the fabric.

Tony knows what he should do. He knows that he should replace the wires, correct the charge load, finish the update, and print another model.

But this time, he can’t. It was one failure too many. This time, Tony doesn’t start over. Instead, he keeps staring at the remains of the suit until the spider emblem seems to have burnt itself into his retinas, feeling dumb and useless and old.

Peter got his mentor back, except that he didn’t.

Not today, kid.

He stares at the phone angrily, wondering why he’d ever expected anything else. It’s been the same reply in different variations all week, and he can’t pretend not to be bothered by it anymore. He knows that Tony is still recovering, but he’d said a few days before Peter’s new suit would be ready, and that had been two weeks ago. Many things might have changed in the five preceding years, but Peter can’t believe for the life of him that any version of Tony Stark would be able to resist the challenge of improving his tech.

Enough is enough, Peter decides as he pulls his very first suit out of the cardboard box that contains the few things he’s salvaged from the garbage dump. The empty days are starting to wear him down, and New York is going haywire with crime. With its population suddenly doubled, people are seeking out the houses where they used to live, fighting over homes, life partners, adoption papers, and much more. Peter knows he shouldn’t go out against Tony’s wishes, but then again, the Tony he used to know wouldn’t make him wait for weeks without a suit while sending him nondescript text messages that explain exactly nothing.

Peter needs an aim, and New York needs her Spider-Man.

He puts on the costume and looks at himself in the mirror. The old suit is a bit too short at the ankles and wrists, but it will serve its main purpose of concealing his identity. The one he was wearing during the battle got so damaged that it was practically useless even before they cut it off him at the hospital. And anyway, he wouldn’t want Tony to be alerted of his whereabouts.

Peter climbs out of the window and takes a moment to enjoy the wind on his face before swinging to the top of the opposite building. “Let’s go, Karen,” he declares, and then tries to ignore the ache of disappointment in his chest when he remembers why there is no reply.

It was one of the better days, up until the point when Tony decided to run a bath for Morgan.

Pepper is away for an SI event and Happy was looking after Morgan while Tony’s PT trainer tortured him during the afternoon. Afterwards, they settled in front of the TV, Tony swearing that he was fine and Happy could go home already, only to wake up two hours later to Happy stretched out on the sofa, glancing at him with a knowing smile while getting his fingernails painted green by Morgan.

His driver-turned-bodyguard-turned-forehead-of-security-turned babysitter left after dinner, and Tony practiced walking up and down the stairs for a while with Morgan cheering him on. It was almost like their evenings before, almost, if not for the nagging feeling in the back of Tony’s head that he’d be incapable of protecting her in case something happened.

“I want the blue bubbles,” Morgan decides when he helps her settle into the bathtub. “And the subarins.”

“Submarines,” Tony corrects with a smile. He pours the blue bath foam into the water and brings her the box with all her bath toys.

“Did you take Gerald inside his house?” she asks with a serious frown between her brows.

One evening the previous week, Tony forgot to take their alpaca back into the stable, cuing it to disturb their breakfast by shoving its face through the porch door in the morning and trying to eat Morgan’s cereal. Nothing bad came out of it, but it seems to have left a dent in his kid’s brain because she’s been asking Tony about it every night since then.

“Let’s see. Did I bring Gerald inside, FRIDAY?” Tony addresses the wall.

“Yes, boss,” FRIDAY replies. “However, the porch door is still open.”

“I’ll go and close it,” he says to Morgan. He playfully splashes a bit of water onto her face before pushing himself up with a groan, his back and legs making him very aware of the exercise he did today. His blood pressure isn’t really cooperating with the change in elevation and he has to brace himself against the wall inconspicuously to wait out the headrush before he can continue.

Tony slowly makes it down the stairs, relieved when he finds the wheelchair where he left it downstairs. He rolls out onto the porch. The sun has just set on the lake, and there is something peaceful about the scene. The first stars are appearing, but not enough yet that he has to look away and find something to hold onto so as not to lose his grip on reality.

Or that’s what Tony thinks. But when he blinks, the sky is suddenly pitch black and he is covered in goosebumps. Tony pinches himself and then glances at his stump arm to make sure this isn’t a flashback.

“Shit,” he curses, rolling back into the house. “FRIDAY, how long was I out there?”

“One hour and thirteen minutes, boss.” She seems to hesitate for a moment before adding, “Your vital signs did not indicate any stress, so I did not alert you.”

Tony curses again. He ditches the wheelchair and takes the stairs as fast as he can, black spots dancing in his field of vision. He almost staggers into the wall before shoving his shoulder into the bathroom door and-

“Look, Daddy, my fingers are all wrinkly now!”

Morgan is sitting in the now lukewarm water, surrounded by toys, presenting her hands to Tony with bright excitement on her face. He stops, his heartbeat thudding in his ears and sweat running down his temples, then slowly lets himself sink to the floor.

“Daddy?” Morgan prompts, realising that something is off. “My fingers will be alright, won’t they?”

Tony swallows hard. “Yeah, kiddo,” he replies tonelessly and forces a smile onto his face. “Your fingers will be just fine. Come on, let’s wash your hair and get you dried off.”

Tony manages to keep it together until he has settled Morgan in bed. He reads her her favourite book, his voice and arm shaking only the slightest bit. Morgan stares at him suspiciously, so he flicks her nose and tickles her until she is gasping for breath. He kisses her goodnight, closes the door, supports himself down the stairs to the master bedroom, and only then does he break.

Tony hasn’t had a panic attack this bad since just after he came back from Titan, but the helpless feeling he has now is much the same as then. At that time, he was unable to save the universe, had let Peter die in his arms; now he’s letting down his family, unable to protect those he cares about. Or, even worse, he’s actively putting them in danger by zoning out for an hour.

It’s been years since Tony has thrown up from panicking. He tries to keep it down, but then the nausea gets so overwhelming that he has to scramble for the trash can near the door and heave and retch until all that comes up is burning stomach acid.

Pepper finds him like this twenty minutes later - panting and shaking, still clutching the trash can to his chest. “Tony!” she yelps, then catches herself and lowers her voice. “What’s going on?”

He swallows heavily, searching for words. “I-I forgot Morgan in the bathroom. She, it must have been an hour, and I, I just- I can’t-”

“Shh, calm down. She’s okay, Tony, we’re all okay.” Pepper crouches down next to him and lets her hand rest on his. “Breathe with me, alright?”

He gulps down bile and air and tries to concentrate on sucking in oxygen. It takes a long time until his heart slows down a little. Pepper gently takes the bin away and then settles next to him, wraps an arm around his shoulders, and pulls him close. Tony feels himself go limp. He lets his head fall back against her collarbones, his body heavy with exhaustion and failure.

“Tell me what you’re thinking, huh?” she asks after a while, handing him a tissue that he tries to take with his right arm before remembering he can’t.

“I’m nothing without my brain,” he replies, choked. “My brain, my mind - that’s who I am.”

“No, that’s not true. Who you are is this.” Pepper taps on the scar tissue on his chest, then lets her hand rest there, warm and reassuring. “And this is all that counts. I know it, and so does Morgan.”

And Tony would love to believe her, but he can't any more than he can use his right arm.

Peter is tired and school hasn’t even started yet.

He’s tired from not being able to sleep, from waking up to the ever-same nightmares in the early morning hours. Tired from having the same conversations over and over again, Oh, you got snapped? What about your aunt? Did you get your apartment back? Tell me, where did this bruise come from? He’s even tired of Ned’s and MJ’s subtle concerned looks and May’s not-so-subtle suggestions that he let his secret identity rest for a bit. He’s tired from looking at his phone and wondering whether there’s ever going to be an answer to the texts he keeps sending.

He’s not tired of Spider-Manning, but the crime rates are skyrocketing. Often times, nightly patrols stretch well into the next morning, and despite feeling like he is finally able to do something useful, it starts to wear him out after a while, making him reckless and more prone to mistakes than usual.

A week after he resumes patrolling, a robber breaks his finger and he spends the night shuffling back and forth between the freezer and his bed, replacing the ice again and again. A woman who Returned to find her husband living with a new wife wreaks havoc at their house and hits Peter with a baseball bat when he tries to stop her, giving him a concussion that forces him to bunk over at Ned’s for May not to realise. She does anyway, and lectures him about being more careful while dosing out painkillers into his palm the morning after. Another night, May has to stitch up a slash wound he got from a man trying to blackmail an employee of the insurance company not to revoke his life insurance money.

Then, after a more peaceful patrol when he is already on his way home, Peter finds an elderly woman with dementia trying to enter her old apartment in which a new couple is living now. The woman introduces herself as Mrs. Jackson and offers Peter jellybeans from an ancient-looking package in her handbag, which he politely declines. Peter manages to talk to the two men before they call the police, then tracks down the woman’s daughter and drops the lady off at her new address. He declines the money the daughter tries to give him, but accepts the chocolate bar, munching on it as he one-handedly swings his way back home. The sun is just setting and he watches it go down from one of his favourite viewpoint on top of the Daily Bugle building.

“That was a good day,” he says to himself. Still looking towards the river, he shoots a web over his shoulder to the building he knows is on the other side of the street and lets himself fall backward.

The problem is, Mrs. Jackson is not the only one who sometimes forgets that the city is not what it used to be five years ago. The building on the other side of the street has been demolished. Peter’s web sticks to nothing. He realises this a split second too late. Frantically, he shoots another web into thin air in an attempt to save himself, but it’s fruitless.

While falling, Peter thinks that the integrated parachute in the Iron Spider suit would be really useful just about right now, and that’s when his body crashes into a streetlight. Pain flares up in his stomach. It feels as if he’s being ripped apart from the inside, and that’s the last thing he knows.

The first time he wakes up, everything is blurry and moving in slow-motion. May is there, holding his hand, and he is in much less pain than he remembered. Peter blinks a bit and tries to feel for the boundaries of his body, but he seems to have become one with the hospital bed. He closes his eyes again.

The second time, he’s much more lucid. A worried-looking Happy is sitting at his bedside and explains in a forcibly slow voice that May has “finally” gone to sleep and Tony is on his way to the private hospital they took him to. Peter nods, which seems to set in motion a chain reaction in his body, because ten seconds later he is retching bile into a basin Happy hastily shoved under his chin.

They had to remove his spleen, Peter learns later, when his stomach has calmed down a little and he is sipping Sprite through a straw. From what he can gather, he wasn’t in any mortal danger, but that is mostly due to the fact that his spider powers took the brunt of it.

The cup grows heavy in his hand while the nurse is explaining this, and then Happy takes it from his fingers with an unusually kind gesture, briefly brushing his hand through Peter’s curls before he nudges Peter’s head onto the pillow. “Get some more rest,” he says, and Peter obliges, woozy and relieved that Happy isn’t angry.

Tony, as it turns out, is.

Peter wakes up when he hears the tap, tap of the crutch on the tiles. He is thrown back to the walking cane of his fifth grade math teacher until he hears Tony’s voice ask someone “Is he awake?”. Then his mentor opens the door to the hospital room.

Tony looks better than the last time, but somehow simultaneously worse. His burn injuries are healed - the scars still stand out, though slightly less angrily than Peter remembers. But he’s lost weight, the circles under his eyes are larger than ever, and his usually meticulously shaven beard has become an unkempt mixture of grey and black. All in all, he has the air of someone who isn’t taking care of himself.

“You look kind of bad,” Peter starts, and maybe this isn’t exactly a polite thing to say, but his brain is still a bit messy and a part of him is simply pissed at his mentor.

“You are one to talk, boy-without-a-spleen,” Tony rebutts, the sarcasm sharp, his usual playfulness lacking completely. “So that’s what I get for snapping your ass back and asking you not to play superhero for a while.”

Peter stays silent now and bites his lip. They’ve been here before and there is really nothing new to say about it. He isn’t even scared now - just weary. He feels centuries older than that time he stood at the edge of the city and Tony took his suit away.

“So we’re doing the not-talking thing now?” Tony asks, almost casually. He sits down heavily on the chair that Happy left abandoned, and it doesn’t escape Peter’s notice that a sheen of sweat has already formed on his forehead from the strain it seems to have taken him to come here. “Because, trust me, I’ve got four decades more experience playing that game than you.”

“That’s not it,” Peter protests. “It’s not like I want to go against you, but what was I supposed to do? Sit at home while all this crime is going on in my city and do nothing about it?” He takes a breath, his cheeks burning from anger and embarrassment. “Nobody even hurt me, okay? This just happened because I messed up.”

“Is that supposed to reassure me?” Tony demands. “Because it’s literally doing the exact opposite. Fuck, kid - do you realise that this is exactly why I asked you not to go out? You need to get used to the city again, get settled in your new life. I asked you to wait. I wanted to keep you safe -”

“But I don’t want to be safe!” Peter interrupts, exasperated. “Nobody needs a safe Spider-Man! If you’d wanted that, you’d never have taken me to Germany!”

That’s a low blow - Peter can see it. Tony’s tired eyes widen a bit and he takes a deep breath before continuing in a forcibly calm voice, “I was there in Germany with you. I knew what we were dealing with. I was looking after you, something you don’t seem to be capable of doing on your own.”

“I get hurt sometimes, so what?” Peter asks bitterly. “All the Avengers do. You did - you nearly died. So why is it a problem if it’s me? If you think I’m not good enough at what I’m doing, just say it. Because I don’t know what you even see in me.”

Tony sighs and runs his hand through his thinning hair. “What I see is potential, kid,” he says, softer than before. “So much potential. But you would need someone to steer you in the right direction, to make sure you don’t die before you make it through college. And that someone can't be me.”

“Because you have your family, I get it.” Peter tries not to sound too bitter, not to let the nagging, ugly feeling of jealousy take over.

“No, Peter - no that's not -” Tony cuts himself off, pinching the bridge of his nose in frustration. “Damnit, kid!” he snaps. “Why do you have to make this so hard?”

There's tears burning in Peters eyes because it's not him who's making it hard, it's his life that won't ever give him a damn thing for free, ever let him keep something beautiful.

“Kid. Look at me,” Tony urges him. “I care about you, a lot, okay? I can't watch you get hurt, not after…” Tony trails off, swallows, looks away. “I realise that I can’t keep you away from patrolling. It was dumb of me to even try, and I won’t do it again. But I can’t - I won’t be involved in this anymore.”

It’s like someone has punched Peter in the gut. He would have been fine with Tony banning him from patrolling or talking May into giving him house arrest. He expected that, almost. That would have easily been worth the crimes he prevented over the last week. But this - this hurts somewhere else, somewhere deeper than his pride and his childish desire to be taken seriously.

Everything he thought was there between Tony and him seems to have dissolved to dust on Titan.

Tony takes out his sunglasses and puts them on, not bothered by the fact that it’s still before sunrise. “You know that bird guy you webbed to the floor during our little tussle in Germany? Calls himself Falcon. I’m not a fan, but I think it might be good for you to meet up with him sometime, practice superheroing. He’s got…” Tony takes a deep breath, his voice shaking a little now. He suddenly looks so, so old. “He’s got Cap’s shield now, I’ve heard. I’ll ask Happy to send him your number.”

He doesn’t want me. I’m a burden.

Any reply burning in Peter’s throat is gone. When he looks up, he thinks he glimpses tears in Tony's good eye, behind the dark glasses.

Peter’s own eyes are stinging. He swallows. “Okay, Mr. Stark,” he says tonelessly.

His legs feel numb when he pushes himself up. There’s a heavy feeling of nausea in his stomach that has nothing to do with his injury. “I’ll go and take a shower,” he adds without looking up at the older man.

“Will you be okay on your own?” Tony asks.

Peter doesn’t even know whether this is about the shower or something bigger. He tries not to care too much. “Yeah. It’s fine.”

He doesn’t look back before shutting the door.

“It’s fine,” Peter told Tony.

But it isn’t. Nothing is fine.

Peter gets out of the hospital the next day, and that same evening, he’s back on the streets. Happy sends him Falcon’s number, and apparently, even sent Falcon Peter’s because he receives a constant thread of texts asking for a meeting. Peter ignores them; the last thing he needs is another person promising to look after him only to quit halfway through. Or, maybe, he thinks when he barely escapes a mugger’s bullet the weekend following, maybe that’s not entirely true. But he doesn’t want one anymore. Spider-Man can just as well work alone.

Happy keeps calling him, but Peter doesn’t answer his calls either. Thinking of Happy makes him think of toys in the backseat and a small girl with Tony’s eyes, and he doesn’t want to remember that because then jealousy boils up, hot and sour in his stomach. He feels infinitely stupid for ever thinking that there could be more between Tony and him than their superhero relationship, for thinking that he was anything more to Tony than Spider-Man.

“I see potential,” he keeps hearing when he tosses and turns at night in his bed, and yeah, that’s all he ever was to Tony, apparently.

School starts again and they finally move into their own apartment, almost an hour away from their old one. And maybe, just maybe, Peter should have been more careful in a neighbourhood he doesn’t know yet. Maybe he should have read the news and followed his suspects for a while before starting to fight. But every time he webs up a criminal, every time he hears a thank you from someone he saved, it feels like he’s proving Tony wrong.

So Peter keeps doing it, studying by day, fighting crime in the evenings, and sometimes he is so exhausted that he actually manages to sleep through the rest of the night without any dreams. He’s tired, and he’s reckless, and he’s doing the exact opposite of what Tony has asked him to. But that’s just one more reason not to pick up Happy’s calls.

Tony doesn’t hear Rhodey approaching from the right with his bad ear, so by the time he realises that his friend has found him, it’s already too late to escape.

Rhodey cuts straight to the point. “When Pep told me she couldn’t find you, I thought you’d have escaped to the workshop or be out flying around with the suit. But this worries me almost more.”

Tony looks up from the box he’s been bent over at an awkward angle from the side of his wheelchair, packing screwdrivers and bolts. It’s a wheelchair day, of course, as were all the days in the past week. And the one before that, as Pepper kindly pointed out this morning.

“Why?” Tony retorts. “Didn’t you all tell me it was a good choice to retire?”

“Retire from being Iron Man, yeah. But Tony Stark not tinkering? What the fuck is going on?”

“Nothing left to tinker with,” he says simply. “And I’ve got more time for Morgan this way.”

“Tony, I’m not buying it,” Rhodey says with a huff. “Just because you got some memory problems? I mean, there’s gotta be an easy way around that. You can programme FRIDAY to remind you of everything important, you can- ”

“I know,” Tony cuts him off. He’s done that, of course - first thing after the bathing incident. He doesn’t leave the house anymore without an earpiece connected to FRIDAY’s server, and has programmed her to alert him of the tiniest things he might forget. But it doesn’t help. He can’t explain the feeling of inadequacy, of constant fear that he’s missed something important, something vital, something that is going to put everyone he loves in danger. He can’t trust his brain, and thus, he can’t trust himself with anything he’ll build.

“What about your arm?” Rhodey asks. “I thought you were making a prosthesis.”

“Not a big loss,” Tony says with a shrug. “One is more than enough for cooking and reading bedtime stories.”

“And the spider kid’s suit?”

Tony stiffens and sticks his chin out slightly. “What about it?”

“I’m not dumb, Tony. The reason we pulled off the whole time heist in the first place was because the only way you could get over your survivor’s guilt was to either bring the kid back or die trying.”

“It worked, didn’t it?” Tony scowls.

“Yeah, and now?” Rhodey demands. “You’re just gonna let him get killed by a random thug on the street because he doesn’t have a proper suit?”

“It’s not -” Tony breaks off, inhaling sharply. “I’ve got him monitored, okay? And he’s supposed to get in touch with Cap’s feathery friend. I just - I can’t do this mentoring thing - not anymore. It’s just not feasible.”

“And why would that be? Wouldn’t it be better if you were looking after him as best you can instead of completely shutting yourself off? Wouldn’t it be better if-”

Tony cuts him off, “Maybe it would have been better if I’d just died during the snap.”

There’s a sudden silence. Rhodey’s eyes keep holding Tony’s steadily while he slowly shakes his head, but Tony can see the sadness contained in them. He already regrets that he said it out loud, his stupid mouth running ahead of him and spilling out what nobody was supposed to ever hear, but it’s too late now, always too late.

“Nobody wants that, Tony. And I don’t think you do either.” Rhodey swallows, then goes on in a softer tone. “You think you’re useless like this, but you’re not. Not to anyone. You’re way too absorbed in mourning what you lost to understand what all we gained.”

“I am seeing what I gained,” Tony insists, sounding almost desperate in his own ears. “I’ve got my family. This is what counts, not the tech I build. I am okay, Rhodes - stop giving me that kicked puppy look. I am fine.”

“Yeah,” Rhodey snorts, turning around to leave. “Convince yourself of that first.”

The warehouse is huge, filled with alien tech that definitely shouldn’t be being loaded into a stolen Joey’s Pizza van. There’s only two of them moving the product, and that should have probably made Peter think a bit more before jumping down from the ceiling with a “Boo!” and webbing the two men’s hands to the pillars. The tech they’re stealing is emitting a constant low-pitched hum and that’s messing with Peter’s senses, which probably should have been yet another reason to wait before he engaged.

But it’s been four nights and 20 hours of sleep in total, and the paparazzi published a picture of Morgan Stark’s first day of school today, showing a worn-out looking Tony with sunglasses waving to her out of the open car window. The headline read “Shocking Revelation: Iron Man Too Weak to Walk His Daughter to the Classroom Door?!”

Flash showed Peter the magazine with a raised eyebrow, casually commenting, “Guess that’s it for your Stark internship, huh?” Peter flipped him off, but the rest of the day he just felt empty.

“Resistance is futile!” Peter shouts at the criminals while webbing their feet to the pillars for good measure. Then he fumbles for his phone in the suit pocket in order to call the police, and that’s when his whole body explodes into pain. It feels as if every single one of his cells is individually being hit with a baseball bat. His knees give out under him, and while falling, he can see the sardonic smile of a woman with a taser stepping out of the shadows.

“I’ve never liked spiders,” she announces. Then Peter’s head hits the floor with a thud and he blacks out gratefully.

“Boss.”

“What?” Tony jerks awake at his work desk, his heart hammering up into his throat. “What - What did I miss, Fri? What did I do?”

“You did nothing wrong, boss. But I thought you might want to be informed that Peter Parker hasn’t returned from his nightly patrol. He is four hours past his usual curfew.”

“The kid? What? Where is he?”

“I cannot say this for sure, but security footage saw him entering a warehouse in Brooklyn at 9pm. A Joey’s Pizza van left from there an hour later, which has now reached the following location.” She displays a map with a highlighted area in the upstate region. “This warehouse is not an official Joey’s Pizza property.”

“No shit, Sherlock,” Tony mutters. “Are there any security cameras inside the building?”

“Negative, boss. However, I can locate Mr. Parker’s smartphone in a two-mile radius of the warehouse. It makes sense to assume that he is being held inside.”

“Is he injured?”

“I can’t tell from the data I have. It seems that Mr. Parker is not currently using any of the suits you made for him.”

Of course he isn’t. Tony feels a surge of self-hatred rising in his chest, together with the all-too-familiar guilt. He should have known Peter wouldn’t play it safe. He should have checked on him much earlier. There’s a whole laundry list of shoulds and woulds for him to deal with later, but right now, he doesn’t have time for that. He needs to get Peter out of there.

“FRIDAY, inform Rhodey. Get him there ASAP.”

“Doing so as we speak, sir. However, Colonel Rhodes is currently in New Jersey and will take approximately 40 minutes to reach the location.”

“Shit,” Tony mutters. “What about Falcon?”

“Mr. Wilson is on a visit to Wakanda.”

Tony curses under his breath. He scours the map again, then racks his brain for anyone else he might call. But, honestly, who is he kidding? The decision has already been made.

“Boss-” FRIDAY begins when he pushes himself out of the wheelchair and reaches for his crutch, breathing through the headrush that comes with standing up too quickly.

“Save it, FRI. I need a suit.”

The AI directs him to the cabinet where he stores his nano housing units. The Mark 85 would have been a better choice, but he hasn’t even tried locating it since coming home after the battle. For all he knows, its pieces are still lying somewhere on the field of rubble that used to be the Avengers Compound.

The armour envelopes him with a feeling that is both familiar and strange, like coming back to a childhood home. It also hurts. The suit is doing most of the work for him, but the sheer strain of being upright without a crutch is a lot, and the extra weight on his legs and back is enough to have him panting by the time he staggers to the garage exit.

“Fuck,” he breathes when his vision clouds up from the effort. “This is not working.”

“Sir, Colonel Rhodes is already on his way. I advise you to wait -”

“Stop it.” Tony takes a deep breath to drown out the rising panic. “FRIDAY, is there any morphine around?”

“That is not a wise idea, boss.”

“Come on, we’re running out of time!”

The AI silently lights up a path through the cardboard boxes littering the ground to a medicine cabinet on the other end of the garage. Tony finds the morphine and injects himself with a dose as high as he dares without his mind getting fuzzy. He needs to think clearly now.

The relief is instantaneous. The pain is still there, but it’s muted enough that he can walk out of the house and take off relatively steadily.

It takes Tony less than ten minutes to reach the old warehouse. By the time he touches down, he is severely lightheaded, but the adrenaline and morphine are holding him together just enough that he doesn’t fall over. He makes a quick detour to the back of the building and then blasts himself through the front door (“Here’s my plan: attack”) because time is a sensitive factor, and frankly, he doesn’t have any better ideas.

He takes the first guy out before the man even has time to react. The second one jumps behind the van that is parked in the middle of the large hall and starts to shoot at Tony with something that is emitting blue energy sparks and is definitely not legal. Tony takes cover behind a pillar (while definitely not leaning against it) and breathes for a moment, surveilling the scene.

Peter is being held in the back of the warehouse. They put him in a cage - a fucking cage with enhanced security that Tony constructed years ago when they were fighting alien wolves in Central Park, and this fact alone makes his insides burn with rage. The kid is apparently unconscious, chained to the bars with handcuffs way above his head, which appear to be the only thing currently holding him upright. There’s blood on his face that seems to stem from a wound on his head where he must have been beaten, but it’s dried. FRIDAY informs him that the kid is breathing, thank god.

The guy with the electric gun is situated between Tony and the kid, so he’s gotta deal with him first. “FRIDAY, I want a big boom in twenty seconds,” he instructs.

“Timer set, boss,” the AI replies into his good ear.

Tony steps out from his shelter into plain view, ignoring the exhaustion weighing him down. He fires a series of blasts that tear through the walls of the van, causing the vehicle to skid towards the right side of the building. He can hear a curse and then the sound of hasty footsteps as the man runs towards the backdoor, trying not to be crushed by the vehicle, and that’s exactly where Tony wants him to be.

“Hey, asshole!” he shouts. “Come out of your rabbit hole and show your face!”

The man cocks his electric gun. “Iron Man, what a surprise. The papers say you’ve retired? Shouldn’t you -”

Tony never gets to know what it is he should be doing, because that’s when the bomb he planted outside the back door blows up with a satisfactory boom. The man is blown off his feet just as he shoots a blast of light blue energy at Tony, flying a dozen feet through the air. Tony doesn’t hear the thud when he hits the ground because he’s too busy getting out of the line of fire. He almost succeeds, but it’s not enough. The blast catches him at the side, sending him stumbling blindly back into the pillar.

“Mr. Stark! Mr. Stark, please! Can you hear me? Tony!”

Tony isn’t sure at first whether he is actually hearing the kid’s voice or it’s just a memory conjured by his hazy mind. His good ear is ringing, the other one gone completely deaf. There are sparks of white dancing in his field of vision and the suit is pretty much the only thing holding him upright now. He turns slowly, staggering on the spot, and yes, the kid is awake, thank god, though he is barely holding himself upright.

Through the haze, Tony can see that Peter is signalling something to him, frantically nodding his head at something behind Tony. “What?” Tony shouts, his own voice sounding weirdly far away.

“-one more,” he can make out, and then it clicks. Tony raises his gun-arm and spins around, just as the woman crashes into him full force. The impact is more than enough to make him lose his balance completely. He hears shots while they tumble to the ground, feels something hit his helmet, his vision blacking out completely. He fires blindly, repeatedly sending out electroshocks until the body on top of him goes limb.

Then Tony breathes, in, out, pain coursing through his body like acid, his head throbbing as if it’s being hit with a hammer. He can’t really feel his right leg, but the pain in the rest of his body is more than making up for it. It’s not as bad as the snap - nothing ever was as bad as the snap, that was a million on a scale of one to ten - but it’s enough to let him know that any movement in the coming few minutes will most likely result in him passing out.

So Tony listens to his own breaths until he is sure he’ll stay awake. Then he turns, slowly, and rolls over onto his side until the woman’s body slides off him. He opens his eyes. His HUD is obscured with blood, so he opens that as well and finally gets to look at the kid.

Peter is crying, the tears that are running from his eyes slowly mixing with the blood on his cheeks. The moment his gaze meets Tony’s, relief blooms on his face. “You’re alive,” he breathes.

“Yeah,” Tony croaks. He isn’t sure whether his voice is loud enough to travel to the kid, so he says it again, convincing himself. “Yeah, I’m alive. And so are you, kid.”

“Can you -” Peter takes a hitching breath, almost a sob, “Can you get me out, please?” His hands wriggle in the handcuffs. It must be painful, because his expression turns into a grimace and he stops again.

“Yeah,” Tony reassures, then adds, “Just hold on. You’re fine, kid, you’re okay,” because Peter has started to cry again and looks seconds away from a breakdown now.

Tony pushes himself up on his arm. He gets one leg under him, then the next, and kneels there on the floor in his own blood. That’s as far as he gets before his strength leaves him and he slumps back, barely managing to stabilise himself. The world spins around him as if he’s on a fucking merry-go-around, the dizziness so overwhelming that he’s afraid he might throw up. Peter calls his name, and Tony tries again to get up - tries, and tries, and tries - but there’s a rushing in his ears that makes it clear this is a battle he isn’t going to win.

“Sir? Tony, please?” Peter sounds panicked.

And that’s what it comes down to. Tony, on his knees, mere metres away from the kid who is calling out for him, yet unable to reach him. He just isn’t strong enough. And this is it, this is the hard and cold reality, the true reason why he kept away from Peter for so long. Because when it truly counts, he is bound to fail him.

“I, I can’t get up.” Tony’s voice breaks when he finally admits it out loud, “I can’t, kid. I’m sorry.” It feels like he is saying so much more than that, and he wants to tell him, wants to explain how fucking much it hurts to fail him, once all across the universe and now again, and it seems like he can feel the dust coating his fingers once more. “I’m sorry,” he repeats, his cheeks feeling damp. “I am so, so sorry, Peter.”

“It’s - it’s okay,” Peter mumbles through sobs, but Tony knows it is not.

And this is how Rhodey finds them when he storms into the warehouse fifteen minutes later. Tony must have closed his eyes at some point in time, because it takes him a bit to react when his friend shakes his shoulder.

“Tony, thank god,” Rhodey says when Tony blinks up at him, the look on his face somewhere between relief and anger. “Why the fuck didn’t you wait for me?”

“You know why,” is all Tony says. “How’s the kid-”

“Oh god, Mr. Stark, Tony, are you alright?” Peter is walking towards him with an emergency blanket draped around his shoulders. He’s sort of unsteady on his feet and fresh tears are springing from his eyes when he kneels down next to Tony. “You, you sort of faded out, and I was so scared and I couldn’t get out of that cage and then I was thinking of the battlefield again, and -”

“Shh, it’s okay.” Tony didn’t think he’d have the strength to move and get out of the armour, but the sobbing kid in front of him gives him new energy. “FRIDAY, open up,” he murmurs. The nanobots retract and form a shield behind his back. Tony is grateful because he isn’t sure whether he’d be able to sit upright under his own power.

“Come ’ere, kid,” he says softly. Peter gives him a doubtful look, so Tony opens his arm and pulls him towards him. The kid leans his head against Tony’s chest, crying harder now, tears soaking Tony’s shirt.

“You’re okay,” Tony murmurs, just like he would when Morgan would come to him in the middle of the night, scared of monsters. “You’re okay, kid.”

“I f’cked up,” Peter sniffles. “I, I should have listened to you, I’m sorry- ”

“No,” Tony says firmly. “No kid, you didn’t. I fucked up. I fucked this up epically.”

“You saved the whole universe,” Peter protests through his sniffling. “You brought me back from the dead! And then you retired, but you still came here and saved me when I needed you.”

“But I couldn’t save you all the way,” Tony says quietly. He takes a deep breath, feeling his heart beat hard and fast in his chest. Time to be honest.

“Listen, kid. The snap messed up my brain.” He holds up a hand when Peter starts to protest. “No, I mean, quite literally. It doesn’t work as well as before. I...I forget things. I make mistakes - silly mistakes, dangerous mistakes. I didn’t...I didn’t think I could take care of you anymore. And tonight proved me right. But it wasn’t your fault, and I should have made that clear to you. I’m sorry, Peter, I should have told you.”

It feels weird to admit it to the boy what he hasn’t really been able to even acknowledge himself. Saying it out loud gives it an air of finality.

This should be the end, then. Giving up comes almost as a relief.

But then Peter gazes up at him with a look as if Tony had just said something incredibly stupid. “But I don’t want anyone else,” the kid sniffs. “I only want you as my mentor. I don’t care if your brain works or not. You just saved me, you came all the way here, and you - just, please, don’t go away again, okay?”

And sometimes the universe has weird ways of letting you heal. Sometimes it takes months of falling before you hit the ground, hard. And sometimes you need to feel the impact, really feel it, before you can start to pick yourself up again.

Tony looks at the kid in his arms, and he makes a decision.

“Okay,” he whispers. He pulls Peter closer and holds him through the weakness and the pain that encompass them both. “I promise.”

“Again! Do it again!” Morgan giggles.

Peter looks over at Tony, who raises his arm high into the air and gives him a nod, then Peter taps the instructions into the Starkpad. There’s a quiet pop sound from the bionic arm and a moment later sparkling fireworks erupt from it into the night sky, the red and gold reflecting magnificently on the surface of the lake. Morgan cheers and claps, and Peter feels a smile spread over his face.

“Again! Again!” the little girl demands, jumping up and down impatiently.

“Enough for today. Daddy’s tired, Morgan,” Pepper says firmly.

“But-”

Pepper gives her a stern look. “Why don’t we go inside and ask Uncle Happy to read you a story?”

“Okayyyyy,” Morgan pouts.

Peter turns his head towards his mentor. Tony does look exhausted and kind of in pain - Peter knows that the prosthesis hurts him whenever he wears it for too long - but there’s a warm shine to his working eye that Peter hasn’t seen before. He looks… at peace, in a way.

They make to follow Pepper and Morgan back to the house, Tony a little unsteady on his feet. “You okay?” Peter asks quietly so as not to alert Morgan, offering an arm to his mentor.

“Yeah,” Tony reassures, but then, after a moment of hesitation, he takes the arm and leans a bit of weight onto it. “What about you, kid?”

And Peter has to think for a bit, wondering about where his life could have gone and what it has actually turned out to be. He thinks of the battle and the nightmares and the hours in the cage and of Tony on his knees, unable to reach him.

Then he watches the last sparkles sink into the lake, followed by a loud “ohhhhh” from Morgan, and turns back to his mentor.

“Yeah,” he replies firmly, “Yeah, I’m okay.”

__________

All my fics

Taglist: @toomuchtoread33 @yepokokfine

@badthingshappenbingo - This is my prompt fill for the square “Cry into Chest”.

#irondad #spiderson #whump #hurt tony stark #hurt peter parker #fix-it #endgame #morgan stark #pepper potts #bruce banner #rhodey #vomiting #recovery #angst #emotional hurt/comfort #physical hurt/comfort #ironfam #this is the longest thing I've ever written and I am kind of proud

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thehangeddemon · 4 years ago

Text

The Manor || Thavier & Vincent || July, 2019

Theo: On one of his rare days off, Theo sat nestled into his favorite armchair in the manor. The chair was notably large and a brilliant shade of sapphire blue, and next to it rose an equally large paned window, now propped open to let in the warm summer air. In Theo's hands was a small book of poetry, a rare change from the books he typically used for research.

Vincent: On a nearby window across the room sat Vincent, watching and keeping utterly still with confusion. Had he seen this gentleman before? Was he a gentleman, or some stranger invader in this house he needed to rid Xavier of? Hmm. He should do something, say something and catch the lad off guard.

"Nevermore!" screamed the bird. Remaining perfectly still after his little outburst, all of his will was utilized in not laughing.

Theo: "Ah!" Theo jumped as someone shouted, abruptly disrupting his lazy afternoon.

The book fell to his side and in an instant he was on his feet, drawing a long black scythe from a cloud of smoke summoned from the tips of his fingers.

With his senses on alert he pinpointed the source of the unfamiliar voice and frowned- surprised to find a bird, rather than a person or creature.

"How'd you get into my house?" Theo asked, his grip tightening on the long staff of his weapon. Xavier's defenses were flawless, so either this was someone invited- or someone to be feared.

Vincent: Your house?! I beg to differ! In fact, I'll say it out loud!

No, no. Don't let it ruffle your feathers. Stay still, like a toy. Oh, but boy he had some things to say.

Theo: "Answer me," the iris of Theo’s eyes expanded, enveloping his eyes in darkness for a moment before retreating to their regular size. A second of confusion followed as his brow furrowed, and his suspicion surrounding this little bird only grew.

"I don't know what you are, but I know you aren't human, and we're about to have a problem if you don't speak."

Vincent: This man was going to come into Xavier Atlas' house and boss him around as though the brick and mortar belonged to him? Absolutely not. The raven's breathing came to a sudden halt, its feathers becoming duller and void of life. If Theo were to touch, he would find it made of wood.

Theo: Theo frowned and slowly approached the little bird. This being wasn't a raven, not an ordinary one at least, and after this little display Theo's brown knit further in confusion. He nudged the wooden bird with the blunt end of his scythe, and after a moment it disappeared in another puff of black smoke and he stepped closer still. He was curious now, rather than afraid, and the researcher in him wanted some answers.

"What are you?" He asked as he crouched to examine the little bird more closely, and touched the hardened feathers with the tips of his fingers.

Vincent: What it was, was nothing more than a little wooden figurine with a heavy aura of old magic. The actual creature had reappeared on the other side of the house, human, and very much as ruffled as his raven form. He wanted to know who this was, and was going to find his host for answers.

Theo: {Text to Xavier} So do we have a pet bird that can turn into wood? If not, there's something in the house that should not be.

Theo: Theo picked up the wooden figure and turned it over, examining it curiously as he felt the old magic emanating from it.

Curious....

And Theo was headed to the library to do some research. He'd never heard of a bird like this- so it had to be something else... out of his pocket came a little notebook, and notes of the encounter were quickly scribbled onto a fresh page.

Xavier: Xavier was in the dining room. Photos and other documents of what appeared to be several properties were strewn on the table in front of him, and he was in the middle of examining them when his phone went off.

He stared at Theo's text with a furrowed brow for several long moments before it dawned on him.

{Text} No we don't. I probably should've mentioned we have a houseguest. Sorry, darling

{Text} The bird is Vincent and he is a familiar. Not mine of course. He's a friend

Vincent: No sooner had Xavier sent his message did the familiar appear by his side in a huff. He had some words to say in regard to this creature claiming Xavier's manor as his own!

"And to threaten violence when all I did was speak!" he continued on. "Nothing can get into your house without permission! I watch you add protections and have helped you with new spells! Can I turn him into a coin? I want ice cream."

Theo: {Text} Ah- yeah, that would have helped to avoid the confrontation I had just now, my love. I may have threatened him after he shouted so rudely at me while I was reading!

{Text} A familiar???!!! Like Abel? Or different? You'll have to help me convince him to do an interview- I have so many questions for my book! I've never seen Abel do anything like turn into a wooden bird.

Theo took a break from the books he had splayed over his desk in the library to text Xavier- and then he was back to the shelves, looking for books that would contain info on familiars.

Xavier: Xavier heard his phone go off again but he wouldn't dare look away from or interrupt Vincent's tirade. It was truly a thing to behold, both in its power and truly incredible conclusion.

"Yes, I agree that was quite rude, canary. You'll have to forgive Theo, he's just come off a hunt and is no doubt still tired and a bit stressed. However, I would ask that you refrain from turning him into a coin as he is my fiancé and I rather like him in his current form. I do apologize for not warning you of his presence."

That being said, he got up to fetch Vincent some ice cream from the freezer and respond to Theo's texts.

{Text} Ah yes, so he has told me

{Text} He's a bit different from Abel but I wouldn’t count on him agreeing to an interview any time soon. He's quite distraught

Vincent: His mind was too exposed from his emotions. He felt everything, read everything from Xavier's mind without regard to privacy. "I'm not saying - I'm saying he's the coin I would use to buy the ice cream! I don't need it right now. But I can always eat." Too much of a fuss to notice Xavier's disappearance into the next room, and no realization of how ridiculous he sounded. Weeks without command had created the sudden tantrum. His fingers ached for purpose outside of his free will. The chairs surrounding the long dining table began to float; the candlesticks danced in time with the miscellaneous items in the kitchen.

Theo: {Text} In my defense- I didn't know he was granted permission to be here! If I'd known I would have greeted him like a guest!

And back into the new selection of books, he went.

Xavier: "My dear, you'd be hard pressed to find anywhere that'll sell you ice cream for a coin, magical or not." Maybe he'd crush up some cookies and put them on top of the ice cream, add whipped cream.

According to Devlin, there was very little in life that wasn't improved by cookies and whipped cream.

He returned with his creation, a bit surprised but mostly unfazed by his floating furniture.

"Do be careful, canary, those chairs were a nightmare to find. Come eat your ice cream." He set the bowl on the table and grabbed his phone again.

{Text} The wards take care of any intruders, darling. If anyone is inside, it's safe to assume I tolerate their presence.

{Text} Unless it's my brother in which case his presence is merely accepted.

{Text} In your true defense, however, I should have warned you both. I apologize

Vincent: The chairs were (carefully) placed back. What else had he - oh yes, that too.

"I - Are you not having any?" This won't do. A large shard of cookie was used to scoop whipped cream. An offering to its maker.

Theo: {Text} I know, my love. That's why I was concerned. I'm always worried something bigger and badder is going to show up one day that's somehow managed to get past them. I suppose can't really help that paranoia.

{Text} Are there any treats he likes? I could try to soothe some of the ruffled feathers with a peace offering.

{Text} Your brother is quite the arse

Xavier: Xavier accepted the cookie with a smile. "Thank you, canary. Now, other than the unexpected encounter with my fiancé, what has you so riled up this day?"

He grinned at his phone.

{Text} Are there any? Yes. All of them

{Text} I think a peace offering would go a long way

Vincent: Vincent stared into the bowl while he nibbled. A shrug followed the silence. "I dunno. I need release. It's not that mistress is neglecting me. She's busy. Her little one is growing. She's...in love. That is just - he's just - but then you're a dear friend. Must I judge him? Yes. She deserves great things." Oh dear, he was floating again. A gleam in his eyes, he pulled himself back down. "I'm glad we had this talk. I feel much better."

Theo: Theo set his pen and paper aside, a new set of notes already started and hurriedly scrawled. A few more pages marked, and Theo disappeared from his chair in a puff of black smoke. About 15 minutes later and Theo reappeared just outside the kitchen with two small bags with something in Italian printed on the outside. One had little boxed pastries tied up with a gold ribbon, and the other had series of gourmet chocolates all neatly wrapped in unique, individual gold packages.

He knocked on the door frame to announce himself once he heard a lull in the conversation.

"Sorry to interrupt, but I thought I should come give my apology treats sooner rather than later. Perhaps you two could enjoy some with your ice cream?" he set the bags on top of the kitchen counter and pulled out the delicate little treats so they were all visible to everyone.

"They're from one of Xavier's favorite places in Italy, which I also absolutely love. I hope they'll suffice as an apology for earlier." He turned to give Vincent an apologetic smile. "I didn't know you were a guest, and my job requires a certain level of paranoia. I'm sorry."

He cast a quick glance at Xavier and tried to hold back a proud grin. He hadn't told Xavier he'd attempted travelling a distance like that before, and now was as good a time to surprise him with the reveal as any.

Xavier: He smiled softly at his put upon, floating friend. "Well, I'm certainly glad I could be of service. If you're itching for a task, why don't you help me with this?" He gestured toward the various documents and photographs.

"I'm in the market for a new property. A chateau in the French countryside. Seems a natural next step. What do you think of all these?"

Xavier spent the next few minutes showing Vincent the various properties and listing their attributes, looking over as he sensed Theo's presence.

He was already smiling by the time he knocked. A smile that turned into a full grin at his fiancé’s explanation.

"Well, this is as good a time as any to make proper introductions. "Vincent, this is Theo, my fiancé and Devlin's other father. Theo, this is Vincent, a very dear friend of mine."

Vincent: Vincent looked towards the various papers with mild interest. He missed handmade art. These would be from a device unlike anything from his realm. Interesting, but not beautiful.

"Are your bones becoming brittle?" His smile was unmistakable. A clear tease of his unrelenting power becoming sedentary.

Each chateau was scrutinized. The one with the largest kitchen and handsome windows would win his attention.

The cloud above his head had cleared in time for Theo's arrival. The scent of sugary confections and pastry a welcome interruption.

"No surprise parties for you. You'll kill all the guests!" He pointed to the bags. "Those peace offerings would like to rest on the table. They're telling me."

Theo: "Well, as long as Xavier is among them, I think I'd find it safe to assume he gave them permission to be there," Theo chuckled, and he picked up the sugary confections to place them on the table near where Xavier and Vincent were examining homes, as instructed. He wasn't a fan of surprise parties, (he'd never had one, but they didn't sound like as much fun as people played them up to be) so he was fine with creating a reputation where surprise parties, for him, were probably not wise.

"Then they belong on the table. A wise choice, as now they're closer to what you're working on," he glanced over the papers as he approached Xavier for a kiss, and Theo slipped an arm around his waist to hug to his side. "Looking for a new vacation home?" He asked and inclined his head towards his fiancé.

Xavier: Xavier couldn't help chuckling softly to himself, glad the tension was dissipating. And really it was no surprise; food was always a winner with Vincent.

He gave his fiancé a sweet kiss and pulled him close. "Indeed. Vincent was helping me evaluate my estate agent's offerings. We spend so much time in France it just makes sense to have a place there. Vincent likes this one." He showed Theo the photographs of the chateau with the lavish kitchen and floor to ceiling windows. "What do you think?"

Vincent: Vincent kept to himself, appeased with chocolate, cream, and sugar combinations. Quietly, he returned to his study of this creature. He felt like his master, and yet not. Something he could not quite put his finger on.

Theo: Theo leaned into the kiss, wrapping his arms around Xavier's waist with a happy hum as he was pulled close.

"That's an excellent choice," Theo nodded, letting go of Xavier's waist with one arm so he could shift the papers around and examine the pictures. "It'd be nice to have a place there."

He glanced at Vincent with a small smile.

"Do you like what I picked out?" He asked, referring to the sweets.

Xavier: "There's quite a bit of land that comes with it as well. Perfect for farming apparently, but that's not an avenue that piques my interest. I'd rather reinstate the forest." For privacy more than anything else.

Vincent: "I love caramel. Whoever discovered its creation should be given sainthood."

He glanced to the papers. "We should see them in person. A photograph isn't enough. Neither is a painting!"

Theo: Theo looked up at Xavier and tilted his head to the side as he gave Xavier a playful grin.

"Can we?" He asked, matching Vincent's level of enthusiasm despite already knowing the answer.

Xavier: "All of them or just the number one contender?" Xavier asked, already reaching for his phone to send a message to the estate agent.

Vincent: "Top...three?" What was a big thing in this world. The podium. The best three to shame all others. "Are you going to take us?"

Theo: Theo looked at Xavier. "He'll definitely have to be the one to- I only had enough juice for the trip to get sweets."

Xavier: "Yes, I'll take you," he chuckled. "I'll even take us for a lovely dinner afterward so we may discuss the many merits and flaws of the properties we see."

Vincent: Gasp! "Where? Where are we going? Are we eating in Italy? France? I'm so hungry!" Despite shoving food in his mouth between questions.

Theo: Theo chuckled and looked at Xavier expectantly.

Xavier: “How does a shellfish tower in Brittany sound?”

Vincent: "How does that sound?" he asked Theo.

Theo: "That sounds lovely," Theo nodded and took Xavier's hand in his.

Xavier: “Seafood in Brittany it is. There’s also a lovely little patisserie there in case you find yourselves in want of some more dessert.” He squeezed Theo’s hand and smiled at Vincent.

“Which property shall we see first?”

Vincent: "The best! No, the worst. Let's see the smallest kitchen."

Theo: "Agreed." Theo piped in with a chuckle.

Xavier: "Is the size of the kitchen really how you would have us make this decision? What else is important?"

Theo: "Xavier, the size of the kitchen is very important!" Theo declared as he gave Xavier a very serious look, as if it were silly for him to treat that as something their decision shouldn't hinge on. It was an attempt to get on Vincent's good side, but also- "you know colleen deserves a properly sized kitchen if she were to stay there."

Vincent: "Nothing is more important. A proper potions room would do you some good! Room for a garden, but not more important!"

Theo: Theo nodded in agreement.

Xavier: Xavier smiled, seeing the attempt for what it was and not faulting it one bit. "I'll grant you that a properly appointed kitchen is important, but I can't say we have need for a potions room. None of my staff or Rohan work with them."

Vincent: "Potions are just as important as spells. Shame on you all."

Theo: Theo nodded, trying to hold back the smile that threatened to give away the laughter in his eyes.

Xavier: He laughed softly. “You know I prefer my spells and enchanted objects. Devlin’s nanny somewhat dabbles in potions, rather like your mistress does. Salves and tinctures and such.”

Vincent: "Then she deserves the best potions room you can afford!"

Theo: "Exactly! So the question still remains, which has the largest kitchen? We should start there."

Xavier: “Colleen doesn’t do her brewing in the kitchen now and I imagine Christine wouldn’t appreciate it if she started. So we shall seek out the larger kitchen, and we shall also seek out an auxiliary kitchen.”

Vincent: "Well," several sweet treats were stuffed in his mouth, "leth go!"

Theo: Theo pressed to Xavier's side and nodded in agreement. He'd leave a few sweets for their return.

Xavier: "What did we say about talking with your mouth full, Vincent?" Xavier chided, gathering the information sheets for all the properties so he could have the addresses at hand. "Everyone take an arm."

Vincent: He took his arm, though he'd debated on riding shoulder as a magpie. Perhaps on their return.

Theo: Theo took the other arm with a chuckle and leaned his head against Xavier's shoulder. "Take us away, my love."

Vincent: "You didn't say anything about talking with my mouth full," he whispered.

Xavier: "I'm almost certain I have at some point." At the very least he'd thought it.

After double checking the address on the paper, Xavier transported them across the sea to....a castle.

The grand, massive villa was surrounded by acres of beautiful countryside. Warm light shone out from massive arched windows, balconies looked out over the drive, and if they listened closely, they'd hear a fountain somewhere on the grounds.

"Stunning," said Xavier, looking up at what could soon be his.

Theo: "Holy shit...." Theo blinked, taking in the site. He squeezed Xavier's arm.

Vincent: Vincent just smiled. Of course Xavier had. Plenty of times he'd been told by multiple people to slow down, swallow, all sorts of manners which meant nothing to him.

Their travel was brief, as it always seemed, but across the world they landed, and the bird was all gasps.

"It's extravagant. Of course it is!" He would expect no less from the demon.

"Does every house have a fountain? Is that something all rich people require?"

Xavier: "Unofficially, yes," Xavier chuckled. "But I also just really enjoy fountains."

The house--if it could even be called that--was absolutely extravagant. It was everything Xavier had dreamed of in his youth. He was in love with it.

"Now, this is by far the largest estate we will potentially look at. It has a sixteen car garage, a huge pool and hot tub, a gym, a spa, a wine cellar that doubles as its own winery, a home theater, an elevator that accesses all three floors, and the considerable amount of land also comes with a barn."

Theo: Theo slipped his hand into Xavier's and squeezed, at a loss for words other than a wide-eyed stare. It was beautiful, and it felt like a fantasy to be a place where they might live. Xavier's current home felt like that for Theo at first, and he was feeling it all over again.

Vincent: "Shall we to the kitchen...s? Was it two? Kitchen and potions room." But he paused only a foot towards the villa. "Are you going to make your own wine? I think you should. You should!"

Xavier: Xavier couldn't help but smile and kiss Theo's hand. It was kind of nice that he could still surprise his soon-to-be husband with his extravagance. And perhaps a little amusing.

"There is an auxiliary kitchen, yes. Perhaps it could become a potions room one day if someone shows interest."

Xavier led them inside, where they were greeted with a massive foyer and double staircase that was just this side of gaudy. "I own stock in several wineries, my dear. It's been very profitable. The kitchen is through here, to the right."

Theo: As they entered Theo could only smile and follow, because the further in they wandered the more it felt like exactly something Xavier would purchase.

"Don't tell my mother that, she'll start expecting wines as gifts on a regular basis," Theo chuckled.

Vincent: Vincent had already disappeared once, having returned in the foyer out of breath. "I dunno about all that, but you should make your own here." He was admiring the ceiling now, arms out in true namesake, doing a little spin to test the castle's energy.

Xavier: "If she wishes them, she'll receive them." Simple as that.

The ceiling was tall and cathedral like, accentuated with a domed skylight in the very center. There were others like it throughout the house, each one beautiful and adorned with stained glass.

No one had enjoyed them in years. This palace had been passed over by many.

"Perhaps a venture for a few years down the line. Making wine takes work."

Theo: "You're going to spoil my mother," Theo laughed, although she definitely deserved it. "Not that she will mind of course." He glanced around the manor, admiring its beauty with a soft smile. "You already have so many ventures, wine making sounds like something for down the road."

Vincent: Vincent would weep at the unused space. Perhaps he would make it his own! Somehow, with something.

"What are these "so many ventures" you have?"

Xavier: "No one minds a little spoiling." Or a lot of spoiling, as Xavier was prone to do with those close to him.

He led them further inside. "I'm a businessman, canary. I deal in art and antiques and wine. I own several investment properties, stocks."

Theo: Theo smiled at that. His mother could use a little spoiling, she deserved it.

"He's very talented," Theo added as he followed at Xavier's side.

Vincent: "I thought you were just a thief!"

Xavier: "You heard, Theo, I'm very talented." He grinned. "At making money, legitimately and non-legitimately."

Theo: "Both are true," Theo grinned and gently squeezed Xavier's hand. He couldn't act like he opposed any of it, as a hunter he'd stollen more credit cards and used more forged IDs than he could count.

Vincent: "Why do you have so many?"

Xavier: "I like money. And stealing. Win-win-win."

Theo: "This place has plenty of space for all the stolen parts of that..."

Vincent: "Just money?" He couldn't decide if that sounded truthful.

"Can you paint?" Asked to the demon while doing another inquisitive spin.

Xavier: "Money, art, wine, magical artifacts. You're not the only magpie," he added with a smile.

Just off the massive kitchen--which boasted five refrigerators--there was a family room, doors to the patio, one of the entrances into the wine cellar, and a glass elevator that led to the other floors.

"I can't, no. Those who cannot paint appreciate those who can."

Theo: "My god..." Theo squinted as they passed and he noticed the 5 fridges, but he didn't linger more than a beat with the rest of them.

"That would be an adorable activity with Devlin though! Painting- finger painting!" Theo smiled, suddenly warmed by the potentially messy idea.

Vincent: "Can you play an instrument? What about sculpt?" The bird squinted. "Can you write a sonnet?" He was crafty with spells, but he realized he didn't know much of Xavier outside of their antics.

Xavier: "No, no, and maybe. I've never tried my hand at it but perhaps I have a hidden talent."

Xavier smiled. "I'm sure Devlin will love that. We'll have to paint-proof the house beforehand to spare the maids the unholy mess."

Vincent: "How many parties will you have here?" As though this were the winner.

Theo: Theo chuckled at that and looked at Xavier expectantly.

Xavier: “I don’t have parties now, canary, I don’t plan to start when I purchase a new property.”

Vincent: "Why would you need five chilling boxes?"

Theo: Again, Theo looked expectantly at Xavier, and he was clearly very amused by the conversation.

Xavier: "There are nine bedrooms in the house not including the servants’ quarters. They all need to be fed and that large amount of food requires adequate storage."

Vincent: "Will there be a garden?"

Theo: "I'd imagine so," Theo replied. "If there isn't one already, I'm sure we'll make one. Devlin would be devastated if we moved somewhere without one."

Xavier: Xavier nodded. "He would indeed. However, there is in fact a garden, along with a large pool."

Vincent: "I think what this land calls a pool is not what I know as a pool."

Theo: "What do you consider a pool?"

Vincent: "Where wood nymphs bathe."

Xavier: “Absolutely no nymphs of any kind. Modern pools only.”

Theo: "I've never met a nymph before. Do they bathe in ponds or something?"

Vincent: "Pools are cleaner."

Xavier: “Pray you never meet one.” Did he sound bitter? Probably a little.

Theo: Theo raised a curious brow in Xavier's direction, detecting the tone in his voice. Then his fingers found Xavier's and he gave them a gentle squeeze.

Vincent: Vincent turned away, distracting himself as easily as breathing.

Xavier: Xavier squeezed back, offering Theo a reassuring smile.

"I'm fine," he mouthed. Nothing to worry about. The past was the past; it happened, it was done.

"So tell me, Vincent. Does the kitchen meet with your approval?"

Theo: Theo nodded slightly, and made a note to inquire further, a little later. For now he leaned his head on Xavier's shoulder, and looked to Vincent and his answer.

Vincent: "And this is not a forever home?" In need of a reminder. He peeked over his shoulder. Was their little intimacy over?

Xavier: The coast was clear; he and Theo were back to their normal level of affection and closeness.

"It's not, no. The estate in California will always be our forever home. This would simply be a holiday home."

Vincent: "It's extravagant. It's perfect," the familiar smiled.

Theo: "Agreed," Theo nodded in approval. "It'll be a lovely getaway."

Xavier: "A perfect for the very first one?" he chuckled. "Who knew the size of kitchen could hold that much power."

Not that he disagreed. The estate was beautiful and very well maintained. It had plenty of space for any luxury they could ever want and then some. And now that it had been endorsed by Theo and Vincent, there wasn't any reason Xavier could see not to buy it.

Still, "I feel we should at least tour it in its entirety, just to get a full picture."

Vincent: "Lead the way, then!" He was tempted for a shoulder ride, but would withhold for the time being. Sooo tempting!

Theo: Theo nodded in agreement. "Lead the way, love."

Xavier: Showing them the entirety of the estate would be an endeavor and a half. It was a never-ending treasure trove of things to explore, from the grander things like the home theater and spa to the small details like the ironwork and stained-glass skylights.

The bedrooms were large and lavish, many of them accompanied by an en suite bathroom and impeccable views.

The master suite was the size of the average single-family home, with various rooms branching off from a small vestibule.

All in all, it was a space far too expansive for even Xavier Atlas. It demanded to be filled with beautiful things and life and voices and chaos. His family and his coterie would do the job very nicely.

#The Manor chapter #theobrandr #vincentcorvidae

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horansqueen · 5 years ago

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AM Conversations : chapter 9

A Niall Horan fanfiction ; rated MA

CHAPTER 1 || CHAPTER 2 || CHAPTER 3 || CHAPTER 4 || CHAPTER 5 || CHAPTER 6 || CHAPTER 7 || CHAPTER 8

NOTES:

-one chapter is her pov, the next is his. -3.9k. -this may look like a love triangle but ill do my best not to turn it into one. -im sorry, i never proofread, i hate it. -there WILL be smut. but not only smut. -this is a romance, comedy, smut story. -for the summary, check my MASTERLIST.

- IF YOU WANT TO BE NOTIFIED WHEN THIS IS UPDATED, I THOUGHT I COULD START A TAG LIST SO LET ME KNOW. IF YOU’D RATHER ME NOTICED IN PRIVATE, MESSAGE ME TOO PLEASE!

-please, message me, give me feedbacks, it would mean sooo much to me!

Chapter 9 : Her chapter

Olivia

We left at the end of the afternoon and we had to go with three different cars because of how many of us were going. I was a bit stressed to spend a few days with many people I barely knew but I was trying to convince myself it was a great way to actually get to know them, even if I knew I was mostly the kind of person who'd stick with the friends she already had and follow them everywhere. I also knew Harry and Niall would most likely chat with everyone and i'd have to settle in as well as I could.

I was stuck in a car with Harry, his sister Gemma, and Maya, making me wonder exactly why she was not in the same car as Niall, who was riding with Liam and Julie. In the last car, Louis was driving his girlfriend Eleonor, his sister Lottie and El's best friend Max, whom I was seeing for the first time. I didn't know the girls well but I had a few conversations with them and, if i wanted to be honest, I sort of really wanted them to accept me. It was fun hanging out with boys but I missed the company of girls sometimes, and I felt like discussing with these girls could be helpful, especially in my situation.

Gemma had proposed i'd sit in the front seat next to Harry and I suspected her to know about the weird relationship between her brother and I. It was getting to the point where it was becoming awkward because everyone knew about it even if nothing had happened yet. It's not that I didn't want to, because I did, but knowing it was threatening my friendship with Niall was stressful to me. Why did I have to choose between them?

"You okay?" Harry whispered, glancing at me with a frown.

He seemed genuinely worried and I liked that side of him that took care of me and always wanted to make sure I was at ease.

"Mmhm, yes."

The truth was, I kept glancing at the backseat where Maya was sitting. I didn't understand why Niall was interested in Heidi, but I could totally understand why he wanted to have sex with Maya. Not only was she gorgeous, but she also seemed kind and smart. It annoyed me more than I wanted to admit and I was extremely jealous of everything she was. I never enjoyed having any kind of attention focused on me except when it came to Niall and just admitting that to myself made me grimace.

I felt Harry's hand on my shoulder and my eyes found his again. Clearly, he had interpreted my grimace while looking at Maya as hatred or at least strong dislike because his fingertips brushed down my arm and grabbed my hand, giving it a quick but tight squeeze before he intertwined them with my fingers. It took me by surprise and I felt my heart jump in my chest. I suddenly realized we were parked and when I looked at the mirror again, I noticed we were alone in the car.

"I'm sorry, maybe I shouldn't have invited her." he apologized, staring at me.

I felt my lips curl and shook my head slightly. I didn't want him to think I was mad at him or disappointed, and I surely didn't want him to think I had harsh feelings toward Maya. It was no one's fault but mine, and it was also my problem.

"No, she's cool." I said with a shrug as my eyes found her outside, chatting with Gemma. "And... hot."

"Is she?" he smiled, his eyes never leaving me. "I didn't notice."

This time, I burst into laughter and his smile grew. I was pretty sure even blind people could see how hot she was and thinking that a guy like Harry wouldn't have noticed wasn't only laughable, it was also impossible.

"Alright, i'm gonna have to wear a shirt 'i'm with stupid' when you're around."

"I'll gladly be your stupid."

I looked up at him again but my smile turned into a fond one. It was such a Harry thing to say and I liked it. I held my breath when I saw his gaze travel to my lips and without thinking, I licked them.

"You're pretty, you know that, right?" Harry asked in a whisper, his eyes roaming on my face.

No, I didn't. No, I was not. But I decided not to answer at all. I could feel my cheeks burn and I swallowed, tilting my head. I was speechless but I couldn't hide that I enjoyed the way he was looking at me, and how it seemed like I was the most important person in the room, no matter who else was present. It was just something Harry did that made it easy to be around him.

"Come on, people will start talking." I pointed out with a quick head movement.

"Let them." he just replied but still got out of the car a few seconds after I did.

We joined everyone who were either looking inside the lodge by the sliding door, or checking the amazing view of the lake from the patio. I pushed both my hands deep in my pockets and followed Harry as he took out the keys and unlocked the door. Someone rushed to the bathroom while some others walked through the halls, picking up a room. Everyone seemed busy around us but Harry turned to me and this time, sent me a shy smile.

"Look, I understand if you refuse, and please feel at ease to say no, but I thought maybe, we could share a room?"

I felt my heart jump up my throat, threatening to come out, but I pretended it didn't affect me. It's not that I didn't want to share a room with Harry but I was convinced it was a bad idea. I looked around and my eyes found Niall, who was bringing his bags with him. I waited until he was closer and when he noticed me, he sent me a smile and walked up to us.

"Hey, did you pick a room already? I'd like to drop me stuff." he asked, making the stress fade from my whole body all at once. "Any is fine, i'm not picky."

Niall was very picky but I kept that comment to myself and shrugged to Harry gently before turning back to my best friend again.

"Not yet, pick the one you prefer."

He felt the awkwardness as his eyes moved from me to Harry and then back at me. He finally just nodded and disappeared in the hall as I turned back to Harry.

"Sorry, I just sort of told Niall..." it was a lie. "Actually, we never really ask, we just assume that we're in the same room. It's just how it is."

I had to be honest with Harry. He was aware of the kind of relationship Niall and I had, but I also wanted him to know that Niall would always remain my best friend, no matter what. At least, that's what I hoped for.

"Hey, it's okay, I understand." he quickly added. "You share a room with Niall, and it's too soon anyway. Maybe an other time."

My mind instinctively tried to pair people and I felt nauseous. Who exactly would end up sharing a room with Harry? Would it be Maya? And If I had decided to be with Harry, would she share a room with Niall? The worst was that I had no idea which scenario would bother me the most.

"I think I may be alone in a room, actually." he explained, looking around and analyzing everyone, trying to match them in his head. "I thought about my sister but clearly, she's getting along very well with Maya."

I noticed the two girls laughing together, sitting on the couch, and without thinking, I let out a sigh of relief, making Harry chuckle. I turned back to him and felt embarrassed. He knew what I had been thinking and now I just wanted to sink into the floor and never reappear.

"You can always come in my room if you want to hang out or talk or anything."

I was about to answer something when Louis walked past us and put one of his hands on my shoulder.

"You have to see the pool." he let out, making me chuckle low. "We're all going right now."

"Man, my swimming suit is in my bags somewhere."

Louis sent me a cheeky smile and I frowned slightly. I was not going to like his idea, I could feel it.

"You don't need it. Panties and bra is enough." he pointed out. "It's okay if they don't match, love, no one's gonna look."

He paused and his eyes moved to Harry before looking back at me with an even bigger smile.

"Well, almost no one."

I brought my arms closer to me and crossed them over my chest, bringing my shoulders up and close to my cheeks. I didn't know why but his comment made me suddenly self-conscious but he left before I could say anything.

"Hey, you alright?" Harry asked, brushing his fingertips against one of my arms and making me jump a bit while a shiver crossed my back.

"Oh, yea, i'm good."

I stared at my feet a few seconds until I heard Harry tell me to follow him. We walked to the backyard and I noticed most people were already in the swimming pool. It was a very hot summer evening and I looked up at the sun slowly setting. I wanted to get in but I didn't want to undress and when I heard the sound of water splash near me, I saw Harry emerge, pushing his hair away from his face. His eyes found mine and he smiled, raising his eyebrows. I knew he wanted me to join him but I hated this situation. All the girls present had amazing bodies and I was well aware I didn't compare and never would. It was not only my weight that bothered me, but also all the imperfections on my skin that none of them seemed to have.

I breathed in and took my converse off along with my socks and quickly, I did the same with my pants, sitting on the side of the pool and sliding my legs in the water. It was cold and I shivered again. It was a miracle I had taken my pants off but I was definitely going to keep my shirt on. I knew no one was really looking at me or judging me but I was so tensed I almost screamed when once again, I felt Harry's fingers against my knee. I thought he was going to ask me why I didn't take my shirt off but he simply moved between my legs and looked up at me with a smile.

"So, how do you like it here?"

"I didn't visit every room but the view is perfect." I stated with a smile before I realized I was staring at him.

His lips curled into a cheeky grin and he raised his eyebrows.

"Thank you."

I opened my mouth to argue and correct myself but stopped immediately and pressed my lips back together. He did look perfect, I didn't need to take back my statement at all. We stared at each other for a while and I finally smiled at him.

"You're welcome."

He laughed, this time putting his whole hand on my knee and making my whole body throb. The sensation spread all over me as I looked at his palm pressed on my skin, warming me completely. It made me realize how bad I actually wanted Harry to touch me and I felt my cheeks turn red at the thought. I heard his phone and turned my head to look at his pants, laying next to me with the rest of his clothes, except his boxers that he was still wearing to swim. I reached for them and took the phone out, handing it to him. Quickly, he wiped his hands on his shirt and grabbed the phone from my hands, letting a low 'hello' in the receiver. The chat was short and he walked away from me, using the stairs to get out of the pool right before out eyes met. He sent me a sorry face and showed me his forefinger, letting me know it wouldn't be too long before finally disappearing inside.

I exhaled and closed my eyes, thinking about the way his fingers had moved gently on me and about how bad I wanted him to touch me again. It made me realize that I hadn't done anything sexual in so long, not even kissing, and I missed it. I missed feeling close to someone even if, I had to admit, the flirting was quite fun, too.

I breathed in deeply and dared to open my eyes again, the sight making me hold my breath again. Niall was facing me and leaning against the other side of the pool. He looked amazing. His wet hair falling on his forehead was almost long enough to hide one of his eyes and he put his hands behind himself, on the side of the pool, to push his body up. I felt like everything was in slow motion when my eyes traveled from his wet chest down to his boxers. They were sticking to his thighs but the waist band was low, his v-line was apparent, and I had a hard time looking away from the obvious bulge it was showing.

I swallowed my lust but also the guilt I felt as I stared at my best friend. I had thought about Niall this way very often and it was clearly not the first time I was seeing him almost naked, but the feelings I had for him were amplifying no matter how hard I was trying to suppress them. I hated myself and I was so mad I couldn't control it that I closed my eyes again, but the image of Niall moving out of the pool in slow motion was torturing me behind my eyelids like it was engraved on my retina forever. I groaned after a few seconds and opened my eyes, quickly getting up. My heart stopped in my chest when I almost bumped into him and I sighed of relief.

"Shit, you scared me." I admitted, my eyes fluttering open.

"Where are you going?"

I looked in his eyes but he was frowning and I couldn't help but wonder if he had noticed the way I was looking at him.

"I'm just... I'm a bit tired." I lied. "I think i'm gonna nap until dinner."

"Where's Harry?"

My eyes fell on his wet chest and I grimaced at the feeling it was giving me. When my gaze met his again, I realized he probably thought my grimace was an answer to his question.

"I don't know." I shrugged. "Someone called him and he left."

I knew he had many questions to ask but I didn't want him to talk. I had always thought that having sex with Niall would ruin our friendship but at that exact moment, I wanted it more than I thought I ever would. More than I should.

"I'm sorry, did you plan on sharing a room with him and I ruined it again?"

"Mm?"

I tried to focus on his words but the way my body was throbbing was distracting me and I cleared my throat as he raised his eyebrows.

"No, no." I denied with a shrug and a small smile. "I didn't want to share a room with Harry. We haven't even kissed yet I mean, sharing a bed seems like a big step."

I knew he was about to answer something but I quickly cut him. I didn't want to talk about Harry at this moment, and I didn't know how long I could stay close to Niall without exploding.

"I'm sorry." I quickly added. "I'm really tired. I'll see you at dinner yea? Keep me a spot next to you."

Without waiting for his answer, I walked inside, leaving my pants on the side of the pool and rushing to the hall, cursing mentally when I remembered I had no idea which room Niall had picked for us. I checked a few and finally saw his bag in one, sighing when I noticed there was only one bed. Of course, I was used to sleeping in the same bed as my best friend but for some odd reason, the intimacy was scaring me a bit at this point.

I closed the door behind me and sat on the bed, rubbing both of my hands on my face a few times. I had always been in love with Niall for as long as I could remember and I did lust him but why was it hitting me so hard when I was surrounded by people and when I was so close to have a real boyfriend. It felt like the love I have for my best friend was fighting against the potential relationship I clearly could develop with Harry.

I sighed loud and took place in the middle of the bed, leaning against the pillows. The bed was comfortable and I knew I would have no problem falling asleep in it but the throbbing was now localized between my legs and I was well aware it wouldn't leave before I did something about it. I was also bothered by the thought of Niall in the pool and I just wanted this image to leave my mind.

Reluctantly, I brought my hand up and slipped it in my panties. It felt awkward to do that in a house full of my friends and in a room I didn't know but it was stronger than me. I slipped two fingers on my slit and twitched at the feeling when the tips brushed against my clit. When was the last time someone touched me? When was the last time I touched myself? It was not so easy to do it on tour with a bunch of guys who were not always familiar with the word 'privacy' and since I came back, I had spent all my time with Niall. It was definitely a few weeks ago. As for the last time someone actually touched me, I couldn't remember at all.

"Oh my god." I whispered, already feeling close to an orgasm after only a minute or two. "Fuck."

I should have seen it coming, but I didn't. I should have locked the door, but I didn't. And when it flung open, I jumped in bed exactly as the same time as my heart jumped on my chest.

"Shit, i'm sorry!"

"Holy fucki-hell!"

I tried to get up but one of my feet got stuck in the sheets of the bed and I fell down, the carpet fortunately softening my falling. I remained laying on the floor, my eyes closed, an other kind of throbbing sensation invading me. This time, I was embarrassed in a way I had never been in my life. I knew Niall was on the other side of the bed, waiting for me to get up, but I didn't want to face him, at least not now.

"Liv? Are you okay?"

He was a few seconds away from getting close to check if I was hurt and the thought scared me.

"I'm fine!" I quickly replied. "Please, leave!"

Silence. A heavy silence that seemed to last an hour.

"I'm so.. look, i'm so sorry, I should have knocked." he tried explaining. "I just didn't want to wake you up and-"

"It's fine!" I cut him again, talking a bit too loud. "Now could you please just leave?"

"Mm, yea, i'll just... grab a few things..."

I heard him grab his bag and unzip it, rummaging through it probably to find clean and dry clothes. I closed my eyes and shook my head, knowing I should have anticipated that and hating myself for not expecting it. What was I thinking, masturbating while so many people could just walk in on me?

"Okay, I'm leaving, I'll let you finish-."

This time, he stopped talking himself and let out a short chuckle at his own words.

"I mean, i'll let you nap." he rectified himself. "I'm really sorry Liv."

When I heard the door close behind him, I groaned and hit my head a few times on the floor, feeling the carpet rub slightly on my forehead. I was an idiot and I had no idea how i'd be able to look at Niall again. I breathed in and tried to reason myself and rationalize what had happened. Niall was my best friend and something so futile, even if extremely humiliating, could never break out friendship. Proof was, I had caught him masturbating too when we were young and it didn't change anything between us. In fact, it had probably brought us even closer, and I could only hope this incident was going to do the same thing.

I sighed again to give me some courage and got up only to let myself fall back in the bed. I pushed on the sheets with my feet and rolled a bit, pulling the covers and bringing them over me. I was about to fall asleep when I heard someone knock at the door. My heart jumped in my chest when I thought it was probably Niall and I kept quiet until the person knocked again.

"Olivia?"

I recognized Harry's low and soft voice and my lips curled while my stress fell.

"Come in." I answered in a whisper.

The light from the hall was now on and it made a halo glow around him. That thought made me smile and he walked closer, handing me my phone and my pants. I grabbed them and thanked him, tilting my head on the side. I knew Niall had not told him what had happened but I couldn't help to feel embarrassed anyway.

"Thanks, Harry."

"No problem." he answered in a breath. "Are you hungry? I made pastas."

The more I looked at him, the lighter I felt. I couldn't stay locked in this room forever anyway, I had to go there and talk with people, that was part of why I actually came here. I nodded and sent him an other smile.

"Thanks, give me five minutes and i'll be there."

He took a step back and nodded, his lips curled in a large smile.

"Take your time, no rush." he just said. "I'll keep you a place next to me."

I opened my lips to answer but he had already turned around and closed the door behind himself. It was the second time in only a few hours that I seemed to be stuck between Harry and Niall and I hated to choose, but I had the feeling it would happen a lot more and If there was one thing I was sure of, it was that I didn't want to pick between them. I wanted them both in my life. I was just scared it would result in losing both.

#niall horan #niall horan smut #niall horan fluff #niall horan story #niall horan fanfic #niall horan fan fic #niall horan fic #niall horan writing #harry styles #harry styles fluff #harry styles smut #harry styles fanfic #harry styles fan fic #harry styles fic #harry styles story #harry styles writing #idk what else to tag that but hey its nothing new lol #my fanfics

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hunterqueen30-blog · 6 years ago

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Swan Queen Fanfiction Recommendation List (95 fics)

After becoming obsessed with Swan Queen quite some time ago, I have made my way through god knows how many fanfics. Ranging from the super short to the epically long, from the hilarious to the heart breaking and from the well written to the how is this author not famous and why aren’t they writers on the show!!!!

After ploughing my way through list upon list on fanfiction.net and archive of our own, after devouring lists made by other SQ lovers and after I have read everything written by my favourite authors as well as reading all of their favourite stories, I would consider myself something of a SQ fanfic expert.

That being said, considering how much SQ fanfiction is out there I am sure I have only made a medium sized dent in the whole and given all of the talented writers out there I am sure there are still some amazing fics left for me to read (I hope so or what will I do with my life?).

Being a SQ shipper I considerate it my duty to get as many other people as possible on board. I have managed to convert my wife, although all that took was for me to say Regina and Emma and she was in, didn’t need to be any more specific than that, it wasn’t exactly a struggle. The same could not be said of my best friend, who at the time was a huge Hook fan (I can sense the eye rolls but don’t judge her too harshly) I basically made it my mission to talk nonstop about SQ until I had convinced her of its validity or she had changed her mind simply due to SQ osmosis.

Following conversation after conversation involving me painstakingly discussing things like how Regina and Emma can move the moon together and stop curses (Isn’t true love the most powerful magic of all??). How they are always fighting for each other and sacrificing for each other and all of those looks they give each other. Not to mention the fact that let’s face it if Emma had been a man the saviour and the evil queen would have ended up together, it would have been the perfect fairytale ending. Snow White destroys Regina’s happiness but makes up for it by bringing her, her real true love, doesn’t get any more poetic than that. After all of that I am extremely happy to say that my friend is now a huge SQ fan.

You’re probably wondering why I’m rambling on about this, but all of the above leads me to the main reason for writing this list. Which is so my friend can read all of the amazing fanfics that I have and for all the other SQ fans (who like me are looking for another list they can make their way through, which will probably have a lot of the same fics on it as lists they have already read; but maybe there will be a gem in there that they wouldn’t have found otherwise).

I hope anyone reading this list will find it helpful and if you enjoy a fic, please pop over and leave a review for the author. It won’t take long and I am sure it means a lot to them.

To all the authors on this list thank you so much for sharing your work. You are all awesomely talented.

To anyone who is wondering why I am writing this list now, when the show is over and there is no hope for SQ, the answer is simple: once a SQ fan, always a SQ fan. And maybe if all SQ fans keep SQ alive, if the time comes when the show is remade the writers will remember this fandom and even though it will be too late for our Regina and Emma, maybe another Regina and Emma will get the chance that they deserve.

Let’s get started; the fics are ordered by length, with the shortest first, you’ll probably notice that there aren’t many short fics on here, (I like to get invested), apologies if you don’t have the time to read lengthy fics.

Its In The Genes by hunnyfresh

In which Emma's brother Neal has a massive crush on Regina which spurs Emma into acting on her feelings - Future Fic. Rated T.

He Gets It From you by onepromise

Henry thinks that his moms should kiss so that Emma will get her powers back. The thirteen year old is so convinced that he's right, he procures the magical items necessary from Mr Golds Shop to lock them in a closet until they kiss. Rated T.

Someday When Spring Is Here by coalitiongirl

Her key to the kingdom rejected, Princess Emma offers herself instead to the Evil Queen, and embarks on a journey through the woods with Regina that will redefine everything she's ever believed about herself, her future, and true love. Rated Mature.

She’s Already Ruined Her Makeup by deceptivelycomplex3925

In which Emma tells Regina how she feels on Regina’s wedding day. Rated Teen and Up.

Imagine Me And You by bayloriffic

After they return from Neverland, Henry decides to set a parent trap for Emma and Regina. By the time Emma realizes what he’s up to, she’s already half in love with Regina and it’s pretty much too late to do anything about it. Rated Teen and Up.

As Good As A Lie by skyel4

Regina is finally woken from a sleeping curse by true love's kiss. She smiles at Robin and kisses him again, only it wasn't him who woke her. Emma stands by, surprised and confused. When Robin refuses to tell Regina the truth, Emma can't accept being pushed aside so easily. Rated T.

Sharing Souls by hunnyfresh

Emma joins in on Operation Mongoose, determined to help Regina get her happy ending, however neither woman expects to be reliving the other's life through the book, their dreams, and even the briefest of touches. Rated T.

A Fine Line by hunnyfresh

Upon Regina's banishment, the small town of Storybrooke becomes protected once again by an enchantment that prevents anyone from leaving or entering Storybrooke. Emma and Regina find themselves on the edge of the town, wishing for a way to the other side. Rated T.

It’s Not The Fall That Kills You by inkheart9459

Regina thinks she must be exhausted after everything that's happened, the curse breaking, the mob, the wraith. There's no way that Emma Swan is being nice to her without a motive and Emma's sudden illness has nothing to do with Daniel's reappearance. She must be exhausted to think such ridiculous things, or is she? Rated T.

Secret Santa by acheleismyobsession

When they get back from Neverland, (no body swap pan) the Charmings find out that their loft was giving away to the Darlings. Regina invites Emma to stay with her but what happens when the Charmings tag along. At a celebratory dinner, the guest partake in a Secret Santa. Rated T.

Temporary Distractions by amycarey

It's been a month and Regina won't speak to her, until she does and Emma is left pretending to be in a relationship with her so that Regina can get through a dinner invitation with her pride intact. Rated Mature.

Follow If You Lead by maybeweare

At Midas' ball, the blonde in the red dress catches Regina's eye. And with no way home in sight, Emma decides that it can't hurt to see what the Queen has to offer. Meanwhile, Storybrooke is reeling from Emma's disappearance - especially Regina. Rated M.

Second Chances by raeinspace

Zelena plans to go back in time, but Regina finds a way to hitch a ride (using blood magic) to go with her and try to stop her. Emma gets caught up in the spell. Regina manages to stop adult Zelena, but when Regina sees Cora sending her sister to Oz, she feels sorry for the baby Zelena. Emma suggests giving Zelena a second chance. Rated M.

Little Green by RowArk

Emma fears she may have brought someone else back with her from the past: a lost little red-haired girl in dire need of a second chance, who could also prove to be Emma's second chance. And Regina's, if she can find forgiveness in her heart. Rated K+.

The Black Knight by inkheart9459

Regina is fond of her job as a knight and guard of the White palace. That is, until she gets assigned to the royal brat of a princess while she's entertaining insipid suitors. Between the mindless drivel the men are spewing and the Princess running off at every other moment she might just go insane. Rated T.

The Great Wide Somewhere by amycarey

It has been seven years since Emma rolled into Storybrooke, and she and Regina are finally in a friendship that doesn't teeter on the precipice of hatred. When Regina's pining over Henry, away for the summer at an astronomy programme in Tucson, Emma suggests a road trip to surprise him for his birthday. Rated Mature.

Right There All The Time by devje

His mothers are obviously in love and totally married in everything but name, so why is Henry the only one in their house who knows this? His moms don't even seem to have noticed that Mom kisses Emma on the cheek every morning when she leaves for work. Rated General.

Let Stars Be My Asterisks by absedarian

After her return from the past Regina refuses to see Emma: she can't bear to see the woman she loves with the pirate but Emma ignores Hook as all she can think about is Regina. Hook thinks he should be the center of Emma's attention and decides to woo her with a letter. He asks Regina for help, which offers her an opportunity she can't ignore. Rated T.

Second Time Around by RowArk

Emma magically reverts herself to a toddler, with her adult memories, but is unable to communicate and no one knows who she is. Regina takes in the lost baby girl and bonds with her, eventually telling her personal things, having no idea she's actually talking to Miss Swan, who is hearing everything, and it changes how she sees Regina (in a good way). Rated T.

We’ll Make Our Home On The Water by bayloriffic

For some reason, Emma thought they’d pass through the portal and end up right at Neverland. Instead, they spend weeks aboard the Jolly Roger, sailing the vast blue-green oceans with no land in sight, the water seeming to stretch on forever all around them. Rated Mature.

Ever After, Again by hunnyfresh

The Swan-Mills family is an average American family living in Storybrooke, Maine until Regina accidentally casts a spell that sends them all to the Enchanted Forest. There, they are not the happy family they once were, and only Henry remembers their life in Storybrooke. He must figure out a way to get his moms to remember once more and to break the curse. Rated T.

A House Is Not A Home by coalitiongirl

Peter Pan managed to cast his curse on Storybrooke during Going Home. Six months later, the Swan-Mills family breaks the curse and discovers that they'd never been a family at all; that Emma and Regina had never fallen in love; and that they can't quite let go of the lie that had been their happy ending. Rated Mature.

Exiled by SgtMac

To pay for her crimes, Regina accepts exile from Storybrooke. Five years later, on Henry's 16th birthday, Henry and Emma find her. Rated T.

Heroes And Lovers by trixwitch

When the Author writes everyone into his reversed world of "Heroes and Villains," Emma Swan is the only one to retain her memories. She shows up in the Enchanted Forest with no idea what's happening, and eventually runs into Bandit Regina. The Queen's knights attack at that moment, and Emma is badly wounded. Regina takes her back to her camp to care for her, and when Emma wakes up, things between them start to change. Will Emma respond to Bandit Regina's clear interest in her? Will she find a way to break out of this cursed book? Will they be able to find Henry? Rated Mature.

When I See You Again by MadameMayorRM

Henry and Emma are happy in the new life Regina gave them before destroying Pan's curse, sending all Storybrooke's residents back to the Enchanted Forest. Everything is fine until the night Henry begins dreaming about a brown eyed woman. Who is she? Is she real? Henry intends to find out. Rated T.

How To Make A Monster by Velace

Regina decides to make amends after upsetting the Savior. What she doesn't realise is that in doing so, she finds the key to Emma's heart – food. Takes place after they return from Neverland. Rated Mature.

It’s All In The Planning by terribledorkness

Zelena and Henry team up for a little matchmaking after wish-verse Robin leaves with the Evil Queen, and Emma gets engaged to Hook. The results, are of course, wonderfully disastrous. Rated Teen and Up.

The World’s You Never See by writetherest

The lives I'll never lead / Couldn't make me sing / Could they? Could they? Could they? / As soon as she had stepped through the doorway, the door closed tightly. And only then, with Regina inside, did the lines, curves, and swirls shift and move, assembling themselves into words within the heart. 'The Road You Didn't Take'. Rated T.

Storybrooke Singles by coalitiongirl

In which Zelena runs a dating agency and uses Emma Swan as her charity case. Rated Mature.

It Was Always You by trixwitch

Emma dated a woman in New York who reminded her of Regina (although she didn't know it at the time), and when she gets back to Storybrooke, she realizes her feelings were always about Regina. Regina, in the meantime, senses that something has changed between her and Emma, and wants to know what. Rated Teen and Up.

About Last Night by JuiceCup

Emma and Regina wake up in bed together the morning after their plan to be drinking buddies. Rated Mature.

The Debt by Scribes And Scrolls

Set just after the curse breaks, Emma hunts down Regina, who is preparing to flee. Sparks will fly. Rated M.

Curse You And Your Dinner by highheelsandchocolate

Absorbing an evil curse into your bloodstream has a few side effects that no one was expecting, least of all Regina. Rated M.

We’re Nothing More Than Dust Jackets by coalitiongirl

A queen takes her revenge, a savior is hidden away, and a dark curse is cast. You’ve read this story a dozen times. But this time, Regina Mills wakes up with a book titled Emma, and Emma Swan is found wrapped in a baby blanket with her tiny fingers wrapped around a book titled Regina. As time passes, their counterpart’s story unfolds within the books; and for twenty-eight years, the two follow each other's lives from afar until the day a little boy runs away from home to find his birth mother... Rated Mature.

Incoming Messages by hunnyfresh

Ruby makes Emma a dating profile. The only catch is that she's listed as a guy. That wouldn't be such a problem if Emma hadn't found Regina's profile and begins communicating with the Mayor. Rated M.

In The Velvet Darkness by devje

Emma Swan wakes up alone. Completely alone. Rated Explicit.

Wayward Daughters by RowArk

When a magical mishap turns both Emma and Regina back into teenagers, they stay with the Charmings while the rebel Emma teaches the refined princess Regina how to have fun, and a teenage romance blossoms along the way. Rated T.

Bring Her Home by SQ_RoundRobin

Cora’s dead. Henry lives with the Charmings. Regina continues spiraling through grief and loss and hatred. Then Emma suddenly falls unconscious and Henry shows up at Regina's door because he needs her help to bring Emma back. Reluctantly, Regina embarks on a wild swan chase through Emma’s mind, a whirlwind of ‘roads‐less‐traveled’ and ‘what‐ifs’ and ‘might‐have‐beens’, in order to bring her home. Rated Teen and Up.

Forget Me Not by SinkOrFly

Tired of feeling heartbroken after Robin's death, Regina takes a Forgetting Potion to eradicate all memories of her True Love. However, things don't go to plan as she can still remember Robin, but has no idea who the blonde sheriff, who goes by the name of 'Emma Swan', is. Rated T.

Being Miss Mills by Ultraboy181

The Final Battle is over. Everyone has started to get on with their lives. But when the Savior vanishes it's up to her family to find her. But Emma is closer than they think. Rated M.

Villains Don’t Get Happy Endings by lizardmm

It had been her sacrifice—the price she had to pay. Save everyone she had cursed for 28 years while simultaneously losing the one person she loved the most. Villains, after all, didn't get a Happy Ending. That was reserved for Princesses and Saviors. A 'what if' story where it's Regina, not Hook, who visits Emma in NYC at the beginning of 3B. Rated M.

Bait And Switch by JuiceCup

Henry Mills is sick and tired of his mothers skating around the truth and not realizing that they are perfect for each other and that they belong together. So he has a plan to bring them together and convinces his grandmother to help. Rated Mature.

Return To Storybrooke by MadameCissy

Emma begins having dreams in which she sees a dark stranger who knows her name. When Henry begins to talk about a place called Storybrooke, Emma is convinced her son is making things up. But who is the woman in her dreams who keeps calling her and why does Emma feel she has somehow seen her before? Rated T.

Whatever This Is by afictionado

Emma thinks she and Regina are becoming friends, and it's... weird. Rated Mature.

The Queen And Her Lady by StarvingLunatic

Regina is in a dark place after the death of her mother and Henry walking away from her. She locks herself away in her house, shutting out the world. She is ready to completely give up when an injured puppy ends up in her backyard. She saves the puppy ... or maybe the puppy saves her. Rated T.

How A Dress Changed Everything by hope2x

In an act of desperation, Regina casts a spell that takes her back to the day Henry leaves for Boston. She wants to keep Emma from ever entering Storybrooke, but when she takes Henry's place, she finds herself completely unprepared for the woman who answers the door. Regina has a chance to do it all again, but no matter what, she can't escape one fact. All magic comes with a price. Rated M.

Chasing Henry by starsthatburn

Tired of the tricks and lies of both of his mothers, Henry follows the dwarves, Red and Granny when they use Tiny's magic beans to return themselves to their old land. Emma and Regina both chase after him, and they reluctantly travel together through the Enchanted Forest in order to find him and bring him back home safely. Rated M.

For Henry by AdmHawthorne

Regina broods over what she dislikes about Emma Swan while she makes her morning coffee only to be confronted by the sheriff moments later. The morning ends with Emma showing insight, Regina showing a crack in her armor, and the potential for something more to happen for both of them. Rated T.

Amor Fati by coalitiongirl

Just days after Emma announces her engagement, Regina is found in her vault without any memory of the past five seasons. The newly returned Mayor Mills is caustic, scheming, unnerved by her own future, and loves only Henry– and she might see more clearly than anyone around her.

Then again, that might not be for the best. Rated Mature.

A Dark Ocean by chilly_flame

When Regina is injured in an accident, Emma steps in to assist. Rated Mature.

Approximately 525, 600 Minutes by Reighne

Regina wakes up with a wedding ring on her finger, and a panicking Sheriff on the phone. Set approximately six months after Zelena, and assumes that the Frozen story arc has also been completed. Henry has moved back in with Regina. Rated M.

Conviction by Velace

When Queen Regina discovered Snow White and Prince Charming had sent their child to another land, she decided not to enact the Dark Curse. Twenty-two years later, Emma Swan awoke in the Enchanted Forest. Thankful for the escape from the horrors of her previous life, she decided to embrace the new and found herself among the Evil Queen's Guard three years later. Rated Explicit.

If The Blazer Fits by FlyYouFools(MK47)

Emma decides to dress up like Regina for a Halloween party at The Rabbit Hole, a seemingly innocent decision that surprisingly leads to a relationship. The romance is openly feared by some and secretly despised by an unlikely source, who plots to end it. Rated Mature.

Que Sera, Sera by Velace

For months, Regina has tried to find a way to save Emma. Tasked with delivering yet another hope speech, as the Dark One refuses to listen to anyone else, she realizes she has none to give and Emma finally opens up. Rated Explicit.

A Queen Without Power by Caroline

It was difficult to describe, but in a way... she felt connected to Regina now. They had been at each other's throats consistently since her arrival in Storybrooke and yet she felt the most unusual pull to her. Rated T.

Operation Wings by Dakota829Snow

There's only one way for Tinkerbell to earn back her wings: complete the task of finding Regina's soul mate. Rated M. Only available on Dropbox, you will need an account to view correctly.

A ‘Second’ Chance by MacNorthSea

"You did this," were the words that Regina spoke to Emma when she lost her happiness one more time. Could Emma somehow fix their tentative friendship and forge something new, perhaps stronger? Or were they fated to always be enemies? As Emma needed to go to New York to deal with things, Henry suggested they all took a break from Storybrooke, just not in those words... Rated T.

Many Miles To Avalon by wistfulwatcher

When Emma is pulled from her happy life in New York to help save her family in the Enchanted Forest, she embarks on a journey to Camelot with Regina, Snow, and Henry to find Merlin's Twin Blades and stop a deadly threat. But a single savior cannot wield two swords and as their quest unfolds Emma and Regina begin to discover just how much more powerful they are together than apart. Rated M.

Tame The Dragon by morshon

Emma finally comes up with the perfect plan to get Regina to go on a date with her: Ask. Now she just needs her to say yes. Takes place in a happy future post-cora and with a more mature Henry who doesn't hate his mom. Rated M.

For Too Long by Velace

Six Months after their return to the Enchanted Forest, Regina and Emma have developed an odd sort of friendship. Regina is the Advisor to King and Queen (Charming and Snow) and Emma Swan is a... less than traditional Princess who disappears for weeks on end with the once Evil Queen. Rated Mature.

Static by WaywardCharlie

After being tortured by Greg, then using just about all her magical strength to stop the trigger, Regina's magic has become unstable. She locks herself away in her house, refusing to let anyone help. Plagued by accidents, forced to endure nightmares and relive memories her magic keeps thrusting upon her, will this be what breaks her? Rated M.

So Does This Make Us Both The Other Woman? by coalitiongirl

Set after 3b in a peaceful Storybrooke where Regina is with Robin and Emma's fallen into a relationship with Hook.

Shame about all that subtext that's rapidly threatening to become text. Rated Teen and Up.

Starting Over Again by AdmHawthorne

Regina has to to decide, if she had the opportunity to come at life with a clean slate, would she? Her decision changes everything. Rated T.

Destiny Is The Rabbit Hole by MaggieMerc

Henry begging Regina to rescue Snow White and Emma from the Enchanted Forest in the season 2 premiere sets the formerly evil queen on a quest that takes her from the mountains of the Middle Kingdom to the pirate lair of a serial killer and straight into conflict with her own villain, the Queen of Hearts. Rated T.

Back To The Start by withgirl

After trying to stop the trigger, Regina finds herself back in the Pilot, but with her knowledge of the future, how will she do things differently? Rated T.

The Queen’s Favour by anamatics

The queen's favor is given to few, even fewer when the queen has a reputation for being heartless and cruel. A traveler has been having dreams about searching for something that no longer exists in this world, except where you least expect to find it. Rated T.

Hide and Seek by absedarian

Regina realizes some things in Neverland, all of which lead her to the conclusion that she doesn't want to stand in the way of what she thinks is Henry's and Emma's happy ending. She decides to leave but is that really what they want? And why is Snow suddenly acting strange? Rated M.

The Last Resort by Dakota829Snow

When Snow realizes Gold is after Regina and Emma's truelove children, the family will do anything to keep them safe-including sending them back in time to the care of their former selves. Rated K+. Only available on Dropbox, you will need an account to view correctly.

When Magic Collides by BlueHoneyBee

It all started off as a simple dinner to keep Emma out of the rain, and before she knew it, Regina's life had completely turned upside down. Rated M.

Love Of The Lost by hope2x

No matter what Regina does, Henry just clings to the dream of a perfect life for himself & who he believes his "real" family to be. So when another child is in need of the love Regina has to give, is it wrong to allow herself that chance at happiness? As some relationships crumble and fall, others bloom & start to grow & everyone learns that happy endings are never what they seem. Rated T.

The Games by edean13

Regina is a single Queen leading her lands with no problem; her court thinks she needs to marry. So, she suggests a competition for her hand. What happens when the White Kingdom enters their little princess, Princess Emma? Rated T.

The Wrong Way by pcworth

Zelena offers Regina a chance to go back in time with her to change both of their lives for the better. But will Regina do it or can she find something else in her life to make her see the positives. Rated M.

Break Yourself Against My Stones by Sinmora

Mary Margaret and David get sucked into the portal instead of Emma. Emma agrees to protect Regina from the citizens of Storybrooke as long as she agrees to help her get her parents back, and finds an unexpected friend and ally in the mayor. Rated M.

By Process Of Elimination by hope2x

Always competing, Emma and Regina find themselves getting just a bit carried away one night. In the morning both are shocked to find their situation has changed and in a town with magic, not everything is so easily fixed. The two suddenly have to find some way to get along before one does't make it out alive. Rated M.

Penance by SgtMac

Ten years ago, Regina was kidnapped by the Home Office, and put through three years of torture. When she finally returns home, she's been dramatically changed - both mentally and physically. With the HO threatening to return for her, it will be the ties she has to her son and the rest of her family that will keep her strong. Rated T.

The Color Red by Sinmora

When Emma and Hook get sucked into the time portal, they change the timeline far more than they could have imagined and return to a far different Storybrooke. Can Emma set things right before her best friend loses her True Love forever? Would she sacrifice her own chance at happiness to make things right again and bring back the Storybrooke she left? Rated M.

Safe by SgtMac

Afraid of what she'll do to Snow, Emma and Henry kidnap an enraged and heartbroken Regina and take her out of Storybrooke so that she can heal in a place without magic. Along the way, they help each other deal with the traumas and mistakes of their pasts and move towards a possible future together as a family. Rated T.

A Trail Of Destruction by starsthatburn

A hostage situation in City Hall leaves behind a battered, broken sheriff, and a mayor wracked with guilt. Rated M.

The Secret’s In The Telling by pyrophoric

"It's the sixth of October. A pivotal moment in Storybrooke's history and the turning point in Regina Mills' life. And it all began with a spell, a Sheriff, and a thief." Rated T.

Double Trouble by sea-ess-eye

Teenage versions of Emma and Regina appear in Storybrooke and to everyone's surprise the girls hit it off immediately... Rated M.

The following fics are all based in an alternate universe:

In Search Of A Queen by RavensDarkness

Emma Swan is the princess and heir to the largest and most wealth kingdom in FTL. She wants for nothing, except a wife who will love her for more than just her title and will be a true co-ruler. To escape an arranged marriage, Emma flees to the realm of earth with her best friend Killian Jones, to find her queen. Disguised as a foreign student working as a janitor, she falls for Regina but struggles with revealing her true identity. Rated Teen and Up.

Keep The Wolves Outside By Living Well by amycarey

An under-qualified nanny. A troubled child. A mysterious, prickly employer. A small town teeming with secrets. A love story. A ghost story. Rated Mature.

Why Do We Fall, Emma? by BooklandReeve

Emma Swan is a guardian angel who just can't seem to get it right, and Henry Mills is her last chance before she gets reassigned to guard duty. Henry Mills is a smart kid in a small town with a big mouth, a bigger imagination, and an iron will so unshakable that his last guardian quit in protest. Regina Mills... isn't exactly something Emma is prepared to deal with. Rated Teen and Up.

The Proposal: SQ Style by Forbidden-savior

Meet Regina: She has a problem. Meet Emma: She's the solution to that problem. The Proposal with a SwanQueen twist. Rated T.

The Art Of Being Extraordinary by purplehershey

Henry, age 23, decides to give the crowd what they want, what they really want. A story. So he tells them the only one he knows: the greatest love story of all time, and it just so happens, that this love story is his mothers'. Henry's on and off POV. Rated T.

An Impractical Affliction by kirkmills

Love in the Swan family is a little difficult, thanks to their ancestor Maria's curse, and none know it better than Emma Swan. All Emma wants is a quiet life and to finally be free from heartbreak, but loving a Swan woman is a dangerous thing, and unfortunately for Emma there's a little boy and a beautiful woman in her life who seem determined to do just that. Rated M.

Educating Emma by Bond.Jane

Emma finds it difficult to adapt to the White court: She has her foot permanently in her mouth, the manners of a peasant and a family that covets Snow's throne is out to eliminate her. There is only one person capable of teaching Emma what she needs to survive: the very same Regina Snow has kept secretly imprisoned for the last year. Rated T.

When Swanprincess Met EvilQueen101 by amycarey

Emma Swan never expected her vlog to take off like it did, but she likes the community and occasionally getting drunk and ranting into a camera is a decent way to make a bit of cash. Regina Mills films a rather higher class of vlog, a chance to be creative after days working analysing bacteria samples in a lab and to discuss day-to-day life as a single mom. When Regina has a bad day and posts a video she immediately regrets, she doesn’t expect for it to become as notorious as it does, and she vows to destroy the person who popularised her deeply embarrassing rant, some idiot known as 'swanprincess'.

But when rumours spread about sexual harassment in the Boston YouTube community, the pair may be forced to put aside their differences and work together. Rated Mature.

Sequestered by I.heart.mean.girls

The curse is still in place and Henry has yet to go searching for his birth mother. Regina is forced to leave Storybrooke following an unexpected event, and meets Emma. What would have happened if Emma and Regina hadn't gotten off on the wrong foot? Rated M.

The Bucket List by hunnyfresh

Regina Mills is in the midst of a midlife crisis where she finds herself doing the same things every day. After creating a bucket list, her best friend of twenty years, Emma Swan, seeks to help her complete the list, though they both cross off more than they expected. Rated M.

Teaching Miss Mills by HelveticaBrown

Emma is a gym teacher, who moves to Storybrooke Academy after becoming disenchanted with her job back in Boston. Regina Mills is the Head of English who Emma somehow seems to keep having run-ins with, despite the best of intentions. Along the way, Emma adjusts to life in a small town, gets her teaching mojo back, and gradually grows closer to Regina. Rated Mature.

Dangerous Desires by SwanQueenUK

New paramedic, Regina Mills, catches the eye of firefighter, Emma Swan, when she joins the ranks of Firehouse 7 in Boston. Dangerous situations, high risk jobs, forbidden relationships and pent up emotions swirl together for a slow burn SwanQueen (pun intended). Rated M.

Send Up A Signal by coalitiongirl

Emma Swan is catapulted into stardom, the newest lead actress on a sanitized show featuring modern fairytales. Regina Mills is a long-undermined star with a chip on her shoulder and a thousand reasons why she's invested. Naturally, they loathe each other on sight. Rated Mature.

Shadow Haven by Delirious-Comfort

Emma Swan is a PR agent who is sent on a holiday by her boss. Regina Mills is the owner of a private island named Shadow Haven. There is more to Regina than initially meets the eye. This story dips heavily into the BDSM subculture. Rated M.

Coffee To Go by unicyclehippo

Emma is new in town with her young son Henry. She runs into a certain dark-haired woman at the diner and decides, quite abruptly, that there is no one else for her in the whole wide world. I mean, no one ever said love made sense. Especially not when you can barely speak around the Mayor, let alone profess your love. Rated T.

#fanfiction #to read #swan queen #swen #regina mills #emma swan

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