#I’m not Not critical. But ya’ll are ridiculous!)

[karouvas]

ya’ll be like: show Daisy is too much angrier than book Daisy, show Daisy is too weak/dependent compared to book Daisy, I don’t like that show Daisy thinks she’s better than Billy and challenges his decisions with confidence it makes her look too arrogant, show Daisy’s lines are too corny, she’s too much of a manic pixie dream girl, she’s boring compared to book Daisy, her character development is ruined because she said she didn’t regret a good day she had with her terrible spit marriage husband even though he was terrible (like it’s a bad thing to look back on your past actions and forgive yourself/not blame yourself for how things went???), her character development is ruined because Billy saved her after she ODed and I’m going to pretend I’m mad at this because I want her character to have agency and not shipping reasons (but then at the beginning of next ep they gave you the scene where she kicks Nicky out after realizing he left her to die just like in the book so argument completely moot I giggled), she’s too shameless about the emotional affair I could respect her in the book because she fought her feelings but in the show she’s too flirty with the man the story revolves around her having an intense emotional affair with and should be crucified for it, she isn’t doing enough substances or being chaotic enough, while complaining about how her addition is/isn’t portrayed I’m going to actively ignore how her being an addict is a part of her character writing in the show and effects her actions/how she responds to things because I’d rather just make fun of and have no sympathy for her, they made her too mean and messy, they softened her character too much and she’s not chaotic enough, I hate that they focused more on her parental issues and trauma because her character isn’t about that (which could be fair ig but what do You think it should be about instead?), she’s unprofessional, she’s way too good at everything too fast and succeeds too much, also I hate that the show is focused on her so much over other characters when she’s the mc of the story which is named after her, oh and she’s a pick me girl because of a funny little comment she made while she was high and a mess to the point of injuring herself without noticing while really really depressed and heartbroken.

Ya’ll: but the writers are misogynists who didn’t write her as a complex character and that’s the issue!

[kirwell]

my advice to the writers out there

I'm writing this instead of my book right now,, cause intrusive thoughts

I’m someone who likes to look around for writing advice to get new perspectives and helpful tips and ideas from other writers.  But sometimes I’d hunt around for validation from videos to see if I was “doing things right” with my own book, and I can’t tell ya how damaging that’s been for me in the past on my writing journey.

While taking advice and constructive criticism is good and progressive and can help you see things from another perspective to better your writing, I also can’t stress enough to take things with a grain of salt when it comes to other people's opinions on genres and tropes.

Has someone else written something like my story before? Probably yeah. 

Are there tropes in my story that have already been in other books/other media? Oh yeah, I don't doubt it.

Are some people tired of seeing certain themes and settings in stories? Sure. Everyone is into different things. 

Does that mean my story shouldn’t be written at all, and I should just write something else instead? Hell fuckin no, yo !

I love my story because I’m telling it the way I WANT in my own style, my own characters, and with my own messages that I want to tell. Putting your heart and soul into your writing is a real thing ya’ll, and that will stand out. 

I love high fantasy stories with medieval themes, magic, fantastical worldbuilding, great adventures, and grand quests with a party of characters I can love and relate to.  I love wizards, elves, fairies, demons, and all the things you imagine when you hear “classic fantasy.”  That genre has always inspired me and brought out the most creative side of me. 

So when some people say, “Don’t write that,” or “Don’t write this,” because it’s been touched upon before and nobody wants to read that anymore, it would bum the hell outta me. 

So should I NOT write my own story and share it because a part of it fits into a familiar trope within the genre? Does that mean my story shouldn’t ever be read and that it’s inherently not good?

If you have a story to tell, and you wanna tell it, then write it! It’s your book, it’s your story, it’s your characters, and you’re allowed to enjoy what you’ve created. 

Take constructive criticism, be flexible, and be open to learning and changing, like you would with any other skill. I wouldn’t be where I’m at in my writing capability today if I had never listened to advice and practiced over and over again.

But don’t let anyone take away your creativity!

Changing the whole theme of your story because it may not appeal to some readers or publishers is the most ridiculous, damaging thing I’ve heard. There will always be people who won’t wanna read what you’ve written, or publishers who aren't interested, and that’s okay. That’s to be expected with anything creative.  But if you like something, write it, and don’t let others say you shouldn’t. It’s damn near impossible to be 100% original in every aspect of your story and avoid every single used trope, if that’s even possible to do anymore these days. Trying to be perfect will drive you insane.

Personally, the more you try to “change this” and “change that” in order to check off your originality boxes, the less happy you’ll be with your work. That's been my experience, at least. I went through a lotta versions of my book to fit what writers in their videos were telling me it should be in order to be accepted and appreciated, and I wasn’t happy with any of it and felt really stuck.

Try and find the right kinds of videos and communities that’ll inspire you, encourage you, and help ya in places where you’re falling short.  Some channels can really suck out all of your creativity and make you second-guess everything you’ve created, wondering if your story will ever be good enough.

A setting where a character or a group has to go on an adventure to fulfill a certain goal is something I really like, and to be told that specific trope is dull and overdone was discouraging on a whole other level. Why should I write this if nobody even wants to read it?

I’ve had to stop watching channels in the past because this idea was preached so much and I believed it, and it was depressing reading comments who felt the same as me.

“I gotta rewrite my whole story now.” “Oh no, my story is like this!” “Guess I shouldn’t write about that in my story.” 

Please don’t give up on your stories because of personal opinions on a genre or a trope! We all have opinions, likes, dislikes, and prefer different things. Nothing is set in stone. 

For me, a story is about the journey and what the characters go through and how they make me feel. If you wanna write a vampire love story with witches and werewolves and a love triangle, go for it! If you wanna write a story about a school for magical creatures in a fantasy world, go for it!

Make a story YOURS and don’t be afraid to tell it! Someone out there will love what you’ve made and it’ll inspire them just like you were inspired. Write for YOU and for all those people who love what you love and will wanna read the fuck outta your book! 

,,I hope this was actually useful advice for someone out there. Cause this is something I wish someone would have told me years ago. Now go write and have fun with it ! 

[letswreakhavoc]

some people really out here acting like people can’t interpret actions and words differently than others. some of ya’ll saw romantic interactions, some of us only saw friendly interactions. both are valid and none of us should be attacking each other. there is also an insane sense of entitlement going on for a game that is not ours, like they owe us a certain ship. if ya’ll keep acting this way, there is a real possibility they could take the game off the air. they have said before that the second the stream gets in the way of their fun, healthy game then they will call it. we are lucky to have this show, can we not let some people’s entitled attitudes ruin that for us. take a fucking deep breath and remember that this is not a tv show, it’s not scripted, no choices made in this show are done to spite you, and if you think the cast even considered the fandom in their character choices please realise you have an inflated sense of importance in this situation and you need to adjust your expectations accordingly.

[rose-lord-of-simps]

When Mammon Finally Snapped.

Request: Could you do something with mammon snapping at his brothers Bc of their words *insert emojis this author can’t- oh wait I can copy and paste hold on-

Request:  Could you do something with mammon snapping at his brothers Bc of their words 👉👈

@mammons-baby

First of all, just let me say, I too, am a slut for Mammon. Second of all, I got so excited at your request so thank you for sending it in!

Enjoy!

Warnings: Cursing! (remember if cursing bothers you but you want to read feel free to just ask me for a clean version!) Mammon’s brothers being super mean to him. And mentions of blood but nothing detailed. Mentions of his brothers punishments and ripping of nails.

It was an accident. 100% pure accident. 

“Mammon what the hell did you do?”

“How come you always assume it was me!?”

“Who else besides you and Beel could manage this level of chaos in the kitchen?”

Mammon really didn’t mean to set the kitchen on fire! Again...

“This is getting expensive Mammon. You need to stop being a nuisance.”

“Hey guys, this smoke is not good for my complexion so can we figure out how to put it out already?”

“Don’t let Mammon do it, he’ll only make it worse, as always.”

“Hey!”

----

“Scummy Mammon. Go away and leave me alone!”

He just wanted to see his brother. Levi hadn’t left his room for nearly 3 days and Mammon was worried.

“No let me show you brotherly affection and play video games with you!”

“I don’t want to play video games with you! Go find something else to do!”

Ouch. Normally he’d play with anybody.

“Sorry.”

————

It was not Mammon’s day.

The witches had called on him a lot and his clothes were all torn.

It’s started raining on his way home but he didn’t have an umbrella.

And he was operating on barely two hours of sleep.

All Mammon wanted was to sleep, but of course even that’d be a challenge. As he walked into the HoL the first thing he noticed was Beel and Belphie in a blanket nest snuggled up together.

“That looks so comfy, can I join?”

Cuddles sounded so good right now.

“No stupid Mammon.”

“Sorry, he’s grouchy because Lucifer woke him up from a nap on accident. But maybe it’d be best if you didn’t join.”

He should have known. This wasn’t the celestial realm. His brothers didn’t want cuddles anymore.

Mammon made his way back to his room, nearly tripping on air on the way, but didn’t fail to pass by Asmodeous undetected.

“You look like shit.”

“Gee thanks.”

“I don’t know what’s wrong with you but I’m going out and don’t need whatever it is. So just... stay away. Okay?”

He really should be used to this by now.

He shouldn’t be crying silent tears by the time he gets to his room.

By the time he falls asleep he’s so exhausted he doesn’t get dinner.

————

It’d been four days.

Four days of no Mammon around the house.

He was never at dinner, seemingly always sleeping through.

He didn’t show at breakfast, already having left the house.

And none of the brothers had similar classes to their scummy second born.

Lucifer was the first to notice and tried to catch him when he came home but on the fifth day, Mammon just didn’t come home.

When someone finally pointed out that Mammon hadn’t been around recently and possibly could be in trouble, it of course was Beel.

“He doesn’t usually leave for this long though, what if he is in trouble?”

“Then why not just let him perish?”

“I agree with Levi. Let him wither wherever he is.”

“Enough everyone. Mammon’s been keeping a few crows in the aviary right? I’ll send one out and we can follow it, see if it leads us to him.”

“How do you know that’ll work?”

“It’s a dumb crow. They like Shiny things and his hair is a shiny thing.”

“Ya’ll are welcome for that, that shiny hair is because of me.”

————

When they finally found Mammon, it wasn’t pretty.

His normally white hair with almost purple iridescence was now a light brown, covered in dirt and what looked like soot.

His glasses were no where to be seen.

And his demon form was out, wings tied and possibly bleeding.

And the responsible demons were no other than the witches.

What hurt the brothers the most was seeing their normally lively sibling looking as if the life had been sucked out of him.

“Do you think this image will haunt them in their dreams?”

“Can I eat em?”

“What if we rip off their nails first.

“You underestimated us.”

“He May be a scummy demon and a terrible brother.”

“But he is our brother and we will not tolerate you harming him.”

For once, Mammon thought his brothers cared.

————

“What were you thinking Mammon!?”

He was wrong.

“This is disgraceful, you can’t keep getting in these situations. It’s embarrassing.”

“You’re embarrassing.”

“What would be a suitable punishment?”

Punishment?

For what?

Getting hurt?

If they were just gonna do this then why did they save him?

“If you were just going to punish me then why save me?”

“You’re our brother, you may be annoying but we care about you.”

“Since when did any of you care?”

“That’s not fair, we’ve always cared you’re just being dramatic.”

“I’m dramatic? Lucifer makes an entire demon out of pure rage and I’m the dramatic one?”

“Mammon-“

“No! I practically raised all of you! I brought Lucifer meals when he missed dinner, I covered all of your heads on the fall down, I planned Lillith’s service without any help because you all were mourning, I was the one who cuddled all of you when you had nightmares, and how was I thanked?”

“Mammon you’re being ridiculous-“

“I got hung upside down from the ceiling for days on end, I have fucking scars that I don’t remember getting because my brain has repressed the memories, I’ve gotten called scummy and an idiot for giving into my sin when all of you are excused, I’ve nearly died on multiple occasions covering for your asses when you do something wrong so Lucifer doesn’t get you, and when I try to reach out I’m pushed away by my own family.”

“Stop being so serious you know we love-“

“Love me? Love me!? You never cared about me. It took you four days to realize I was gone. And when I was hurt and obviously traumatized I’m told that I’m getting punished for being a victim. For being an embarrassment. If you wanted me gone so badly then why have just let me die!?”

The worst part was they all knew he was right.

They knew they used him as a punching bag.

They knew he’d taken the blame for them on multiple occasions.

They knew he was the only one who got criticized for his sin.

They knew he raised them.

They knew that if it weren’t for Mammon then they wouldn’t know what to do.

Which is why it hurt when Mammon left and didn’t come back.

====

I don’t like how this turned out but I’ve been having a lot of writers block lately and I’m glad I was able to get something out. I may try and come back to this when my writers block isn’t so bad.

[arabian-bloodstream]

Why in Angela Kang I Trust

Maybe because I've been bruised and battered by showrunners and exec producers when it comes to couples and have also been rewarded (very, very, VERY rarely -- OK, like once), that is why I'm feeling positive about Caryl with regards to the spoilers.

Lemme give a bit of my history.  I've had sooooo many couples, it's not even funny. I'm beyond a couple-girl.  I've been involved in Harry Potter, Game of Thrones, The Vampire Diaries, Veronica Mars, The 100, Star Wars, Buffy the Vampire Slayer fandoms (and many more). Yeah, so I've been through some ups and downs in the fandoms themselves and with the end result of the product/my couple preference.

Two of the things that these fandoms taught me were (a) critical analysis of the product taking *everything* into account and not just my couple, and (b) how to deal with spoilers to keep myself sane.

NOTE: This is how I deal. I'm not telling anyone else how to feel or deal. This is my bag and what works for me and why I'm personally totally, 100% positive about Caryl despite the recent spoilers.

In one of my fandoms, I was heartbroken by how an episode played out. It made no sense to me. I had analyzed everything, paid attention to all the road signs... how could I have been so wrong? How could she choose the other guy??! It took a few weeks, but I re-thought everything and realized that I had been so focused on analyzing MY couple that I had ignored the OTHER couple. I had ignored the other aspects of the show and that other aspect mattered. It was like a bomb went off in my head. Suddenly something so obvious was now so clear to me.  

From that moment on when I analyzed the show, I analyzed every character, every aspect of it and I gotta tell you all I just about nailed every character plot point. Not the twists/turns, but the emotional, character beats? I was right as rain on those. Because here's the obvious thing, no showrunner/headwriter is ever going to write for ONE character, ONE couple. They are going to write for every single character, every single couple.  And if they are good writers they aren't going to take fanfic-like shortcuts to get them where we would like them to be, they are going to dig deep and explore who they are as characters to bring them organically to where they belong.

So... The Walking Dead. Angela Kang. Daryl Dixon. Carol Peletier. Caryl. (FINALLY! Ya'll say.) Angela Kang is a GOOD showrunner/headwriter. She brought TWD back from the disaster that Scott Gimple had made of the show. Seriously, I think 3-4 seasons went by and only 2 months had passed in that time. It was mostly a slow-moving morass of nothing happening with most characters doing nothing, barely connecting. Blech! It was mostly just not good. She whipped this show into shape.

Kang also took a long look at Carol, Daryl and Caryl and realized that in order to get them where they needed to be... which was TOGETHER ROMANTICALLY, they needed a helluva lot of work because Gimple had done ABSOLUTE SHIT with them for about 4 years. They had barely a handful of scenes over that time period, had been mostly separated and both characters had been decimated in completely different ways.

Carol's grief, guilt and horrendous actions had been completely and utterly sublimated. She told no one (including Daryl) about what happened with all of the children she had lost by her hand or through she felt because of her.  So what did Kang do? She used the relationship that Gimple had begun with Ezekiel to create this fairytale fantasy that Carol could escape to since she couldn't be with her Alexandria family anymore because of that grief and guilt. She gave her that respite and escape until she was ready to live with the reality of all she'd done.

And then she opened the door to that grief and guilt with Henry's death, destroying that fairytale/fantasy so that she could finally begin to heal. And that is what we are finally getting now, a healing Carol. She's not whole yet, but she's stronger and she is healing. She's no longer hiding in some fantasy, she's no longer drowning in grief. And she's with her family again. She's come home.

I'm sure just as Kang looked at Carol, she also looked at Daryl and saw how Gimple had turned him into a monosyllablic follower. So, through the last two seasons, she's been building him up as the leader who's stepping up and also... HE SPEAKS! That's really the big thing, but it's such, such a big thing.

Finally, Caryl. To begin with, Kang's first episode made it perfectly obvious that it was a Zeke/Carol/Daryl triangle. However, because it's been sooooooooooooo long and the Caryl crowd has been battered for so long and the ABC crowd is so loud and even the media doesn't immediately jump to it despite the popularity of Caryl the obviousness of it just wasn't obvious. But the way Zeke proposed to Carol to which she did not say yes, his undying declaration of love to which she did not respond in kind to the way she curled up (yes, curled up!) against Daryl to tell him about said proposal and his response, clearly not happy about it, but willing to give her the go-ahead if she was happy was so obvious. I mean, DUDE! Yeah, that was textbook triangle material with the guy proposing being the clear loser in the equation in the long run. And that was Angela Kang's first episode as showrunner!

Everything that followed--the secret visits to him, her cutting his hair, her trust in him and vice-versa--to her leaving Zeke behind in Hilltop and going with Daryl to Alexandria, yeah, all of that was clearly going to be how that "triangle" ended based on that first episode.  But so many Caryl fans were heartbroken, upset, furious about the Carol/Zeke spoilers. Of course, they were. We had no idea what Kang had in store. We'd been burned and battered and used and ignored by TWD, AMC, Gimple, et al. How could we possibly know that Kang had a plan all along and that the Carol/Zeke relationship was about paying time and attention to Carol's character and establishing a subtle triangle with Daryl in which he would emerge the victor?

But that's exactly what Angela Kang did. And then in season 10 she made it clear numerous times that it--only her second as showrunner--would feature the relationship of Carol and Daryl at the heart of it. So I have a few points I want to make regarding the upcoming spoilers taking ALL of the above that I've written into account:

1. Spoilers are tricky things. You simply can not know what is what until you actually watch the episode and even see the full arc play out. When you have a good showrunner/headwriter who has a plan and knows the path planned for the characters--one who has proven they know what they're doing--wait until you see what they are actually doing before assuming the roof is falling in. At least that's my philosophy.

2. I mentioned how the obviousness of the triangle aspect set-up in Kang's first episode as showrunner was so missed and a part of that is because of the fact that there is too much ambiguity in how Caryl and Daryl see one another. Is it friendship? Is it a mother/son (pfft! So fucking ridiculous!) relationship? Is it a sibling-like relationship? Or is it romantic/sexual? (YES, IT IS!) This very well may be what answers that question. (It’s the last one. It’s definitely the last one.)

3. 10x18 is STILL a part of season 10. According to Angela Kang, the heart of season 10 is the relationship of Carol and Daryl.

Finally, there are two characters left from the first season of this ten (of eleven) season show. Carol and Daryl. There is going to be a spin-off featuring Carol and Daryl. A character that Daryl has some sort of history with when he thought he lost Carol when she was married to someone else (after he had lost Rick) is NOT going to suddenly, randomly become the ONE to come between Carol and Daryl.

It doesn’t matter that this character is coming back in the final season. Sorry, not sorry, but it just does not. Carol and Daryl are the ONE for each other. This character is just another Ezekiel, a part of their story. Angela Kang has been organically, effortlessly rebuilding Carol and Daryl, and Caryl back up from the neglect and abuse that they suffered (especially Carol and Caryl) under Scott Gimple.

This is why I trust in Angela Kang.

[arigatouiris]

was it a coincidence? // shinazugawa sanemi

Author’s Note: Soft Sanemi anyone? I enjoy writing soft sides of baddies because that’s how they areeeee. Anyway, ever since I got to know Sanemi in Kimetsu Academy is a math professor, I knew this was coming. So here it is! Tell me what ya’ll think! 

Word count: 4412

Pairing: Modern! Sanemi Shinazugawa x Reader

Warnings: fluff, mutual pining, soft nemi

❝

For as long as you can remember, your interactions with Shinazugawa Sanemi have been strange. You weren’t one to abruptly jump and exclaim that it’s meant to be or the mere cinematic aspect of him popping up everywhere would actually amount to something. Nah, Sanemi as a person gave you very little to fantasize about. But, it was true and some close to you were noticing it after years.

Sanemi and you shared a fateful relationship that forced you to enter each other’s lives unexpectedly. 

It began with middle school. You never knew Sanemi before middle school, but it was when you joined did you understand that your senpai was someone no one could mess with. He was apparently very kind before—but something had happened that changed him. 

You were in your first year of middle school when Sanemi was in his last, and despite not interacting with him at that time, you knew of him. He was brash, would amount to teasing every single person he came in contact with and would pull pranks on other students. Sanemi was a force as a child, and you started to believe that it would never change.

It didn’t. 

Strangely, you joined your first choice of high school—again, where Sanemi was your senpai. This time, as luck would have it, he noticed you. He gave you a mean glare—the meaning of which you had no idea about—that caused you to whimper and look away, not wanting to run into him. You didn’t know Sanemi was part of the high school you chose, which had a fairly decent reputation. Considering his brash self, you never pegged him for a well-achieving student.

Your interactions were scarce—your ‘senpai, I’m sorry’ whenever you bumped into him (you were part of the newspaper club, you really loved writing and editing, some teased that you’d become the English teacher someday). Sanemi wouldn’t even utter your name, you didn’t even know if he knew your name to begin with, but would click his tongue and ignore you. You took that as a good sign because he normally yells at people who bump into him. 

What caused your fascination with Sanemi-senpai was a small yet brief incident during the school festival. His face, at the time, was scarless, so there was a line of girls who wanted a piece of Shinazugawa meat, not considering the fact that he wasn’t interested. Which was weird, you thought, because he could have any man or woman he so desired. But, that was the thing—he didn’t desire. 

Sanemi was criticized during the festival by a faculty member that he wasn’t taking part in the events his classmates were working so hard for. Begrudgingly, he decided to be the cashier for an event—a cat cafe event—and since Sanemi was good at math, he was asked to count and collect the revenue that came in. You and your good friend decided to pop into the cafe just to see what your attractive senpai was doing. You wondered if you were the only one who found him intimidating, whereas the whole population of girls believed his bad attitude was attractive. You wondered if they found him attractive for the wrong reasons.

     “Look at him!” Your friend cooed, and you did look at him, only to spot him doing absolutely nothing and staring blankly ahead of him with no emotion.

Clearly, he was bored and didn’t want to be there. You turned to your friend and felt several sweat drops on your forehead at her wasteful enthusiasm. You didn’t understand what she was trying to do, was she trying to impress him? 

     “I’m going to ask him if he wants to join us for a cup of coffee.”

Your eyes widened. You put your hands forward and shook your head.

     “I really don’t think that’s a good idea—”

     “Why not? You have your eye on him or something?”

You blushed at the accusation, only wishing for your friend to know that Sanemi isn’t someone who can be impressed so easily. You always believed he’d want something else, a wistful type of want where you desire after something you can’t have—Sanemi had a deep aura embedded underneath all that menacing outwardly appearance, which was clearly not who he was. And here was a girl, your friend, who was completely infatuated with his demeanor. 

     “N-No, I don’t think he can stop or pause midway—”

     “No harm in asking!”

Sometimes, you wished you were as upfront as your friend was. You let out a squeak before praying for your friend. Sanemi would yell at her and it would break her heart and you’d have to do all you could to console her and tell her that it wasn’t her but him. However,

     “Would you like to join us for coffee?” Your friend asked with a smile.

Sanemi looked at her with a blank expression, “No,” 

He turned and looked at your bewildered expression and for some reason, you felt so sad. There was nothing menacing about him right then, there was absolutely nothing scary. In one moment, all your apprehensions about Sanemi flew away, and there was no way you were ever going to be intimidated by this guy again. 

He looked down at the counter and muttered, “If you’ve got nothing to buy, leave.”

Your friend giggled and came back to you, but you stood up this time and approached your senpai. Sanemi grumbled before noticing it was you. You, whose face he remembered since middle school, whose name he kept forgetting, whose only reactions were once whimpers when you saw him, which had gradually changed to softer and hesitant greetings to now this,

     “I’m sorry if she was too forward, senpai.”

Sanemi merely looked at you, reactionless.

     “It’s fine.”

And that was that. You were impressed, and the blooming of a crush was formed. The more you thought of it, the more it didn’t make sense, and the more it didn’t make sense, the more you liked it. 

You’d smile at Sanemi whenever you saw him now, a soft smile reserved just for him, which he’d ignore obviously. You’d often bump into him on the terrace, completing his homework on his own. Your heart went out to him, you knew of his large family and how his father walked away and how he managed two more jobs alongside school to take care of his family.

You wouldn’t say anything, because that would make you friends. Whatever it was that you shared, you enjoyed it. 

Wordless, silent, and comfortable. 

You felt your heart shatter at the mere thought of him graduating, but you knew he had to go. He was selected in a college in Tokyo, for mathematics, and you knew he was going to excel in it. You wanted to give him something, you wanted to take something from him before he left, but it was strange—you knew there was no possible way you could feel something so strongly for him considering you were a mere 15-year old and he was close to being 18. 

But, here you were, tearing up on his graduation day, trying hard not to show how much you grew to like the person he was hiding behind the aggressiveness he normally displayed. 

On his graduation day, you rushed over to him—he was again, avoiding people while being on the terrace. 

     “Shinazugawa-senpai!” Sanemi turned to you with a scowl, which you’d like to believe reduced in intensity upon the mere sight of you, “I... I want to give you something!”

He’d thrown out an entire box of buttons the day before and if you were also giving him a button, he knew he’d lose it. There was no way he was going to—

His eyes widened. You were giving him a pen?

     “I know you like pens. I always find that you have a new one every month... Whenever you complete homework. I just... I want you to have it for college—”

     “Ridiculous.”

You knew he didn’t mean it and giggled at his expression. He took the pen from you and shoved it in his pockets. You knew he’d give it a good long look when you weren’t there. He was looking at you now, his intense glare directing at you, wordlessly.

     “Aren’t you scared of me?”

You shook your head as if you were expecting this question. 

     “Why? I haven’t been nice to you in my life.”

He was right. He was rude, brash and arrogant. He hadn’t been nice to you.

     “But, you haven’t been mean either.” You said, smiling widely.

You heard him scoff before coming forward and ruffling your hair. You felt your stomach flip at the contact, but that was all you could expect now anyway. A second later, you felt him hold your hand, your eyes widening at his action—a gasp exiting your mouth as you felt something cold being placed there.

     “It’s a button...” Sanemi was struggling with this, “From my shirt... The second button.”

It was a gold button—big enough as a small pendant for a chain. You already knew what you were going to do with it. You smiled before accepting it, bowing down and wishing him good luck, saying goodbye hurt but this was nice—you were acknowledged, and so were your feelings. Sanemi Shinazugawa was your first love, and that was that.

*

When Sanemi looked at you for the first time, he thought you were an idiot. 

It was a fleeting gaze, you see a person as you pass the corridors, never to spot them again or remember their face. Some faces you remember because they were prettier than the rest or uglier than the rest. Some you remember because they had a weird hair color or a big nose. Sanemi remembered your face because it looked like an idiot.

Who smiles like that anyway? Like a dumbass with no care in the world? Oh, so birds like you? How childish. He couldn’t waste his time looking at someone like you. You were three years younger than him, you were practically no one. 

When Sanemi looked at you properly for the second time, he was confused. You were once again his junior in high school. It confused him, how you—of all people—you had turned up as his junior in this school. It made no sense. Funnily enough, he didn’t think you were an idiot this time. You were kind of cute but were shyer than before. 

You would whimper whenever he scowled at you, which again, he found a tad bit cute but also insulting. He wasn’t a ghoul for you to look so afraid of him. But, something had changed—he couldn’t quite put his finger on it, but things had changed after the school festival.

You voluntarily walked over and spoke to him about your dumbass of a friend hitting on him. He realized that there was no use yelling at girls who found him attractive, because 1) he knew he was attractive, and 2) he really wasn’t interested in them and 3) they approached him more when he yelled at them, and this last point made no sense to him whatsoever. 

But, you approaching him made no sense either. In fact, it confused him more. You would greet him whenever you saw him, sending him a soft smile or a wave, whatever was appropriate at the time. 

Around this time, when Sanemi looked at you, he thought you could be someone he could talk to. You could sit in silence for hours and he wouldn’t feel uncomfortable. You wouldn’t try to fill the space with awkward conversation or small talk—two things Sanemi hated the most. You were just comfortable with him when he completed homework, and you read a book or did something else he didn’t quite pay attention to.

He paid attention to the fact that he didn’t pay attention to you, which meant he was paying attention to you. When Sanemi understood this, he wanted to be around you more but his graduation was approaching and it was as if reality was letting him know that it was either too late or never going to happen.

However, he had always been a weird sort of fighter. When Sanemi gave you the second button on his shirt, he took a good long look at you. It was the third time he had allowed himself to give you a long, customary Sanemi-look, which took a mental picture of you for him to remember when you were not around.

When Sanemi looked at you, that third time, he knew for a fact that you would one day become his wife. 

*

There’s no way... You were bewildered, and it was as if fate wanted you to fail in the subject you hated the most. You were excelling in English and that was what you wanted to study. You didn’t want to study anything else, you were, in fact, very happy that you had your entire life sorted out at the young age of 18. You were going to attend college and get an English degree and you were going to teach.

How good is math in your life? Not very.

How good is math in your life if your first love, senpai from the past, senpai from middle school, was the one teaching you?

You were definitely going to fail.

The aura he brought into class as he was introduced as your new class’s assistant faculty was menacing. You had actually almost forgotten what this feeling was—but as soon as he stepped inside, you were reminded of it brutally, as if the aura had never walked out on you at all. He had scars on his face now, a story you knew you’d probably never know. Sanemi didn’t even look at you, you believed he forgot about you; but you stupidly still wore his button around your neck—people often teasing you about a long lost senpai you were crushing on from the past. 

Everyone remembered Sanemi, everyone was scared and no one knew that the button belonged to him. It was a secret you were sure were to take to the grave, but now the chances of that were slim. 

     “This is why I think fate is modulating your interactions with Shinazugawa-sensei!” Your friend exclaimed.

     “It’s nothing like that... I think he just got a job here and it’s paying well—”

     “What if he came back for you?”

You rolled your eyes. There was no way he’d have come back for me, you thought, your heart flipping at the mere thought. You watched as Sanemi walked into another classroom, hearing rumors about how he was incredibly strict with his students. That didn’t surprise you at all, and in fact, you liked how serious he was about the subject he liked. A soft smile sat on your lips and you were lost in thought until—

     “Thinking about Shinazugawa-sensei?” Your friend teased you before you growled and pushed her away playfully.

Once you were alone, your fingers traced the texture of the button he gave you, which was still around your neck like a small charm. You’ve worn it for two years now—the two years he wasn’t there. It wasn’t as if you never had crushes after that, you did. You even had a relationship in school, the cute and fleeting glances, hand-holding and the first kiss. You had your first heartbreak as well when you caught your then-boyfriend sticking his tongue down your junior’s throat.

In two years, you believed you had moved on from Shinazugawa-senpai, no, -sensei, but turns out, your feelings returned tenfold with him just walking into your class. 

     “Is there a problem?” Sanemi growled at one of your classmates, who was asked to solve a question on the board.

You gulped and thanked the heavens it wasn’t you. You definitely didn’t know how to solve the question, and you didn’t want his wrath falling down on you. However, you knew of him and you knew him. You knew he just wanted his students to learn. You watched as he loudly explained how to solve the question, and you unconsciously took down notes, actually paying attention. 

     “Any questions?” He snapped at the class, which was dead quiet.

Your hand went up in the air, bringing down a deathly aura around you. You looked so intrigued, your eyes closed and your hand in the air steady, your lips curved into a soft smile. 

     “I have a question.”

You were sure your classmates were fully intent on killing you and hiding your body, but since the class time was up, no one had the obligation to wait. 

     “Get out.” Sanemi told the rest of the class, and you assumed was the rest of the class because you didn’t budge, as the class exited the room, relieved. 

     “Sensei, my question—”

     “What is it?” 

You stood up and brought your book over, asking him the question. Calculus was very hard, and you weren’t very good at it. Sanemi took one look at your notes and knew you were struggling, but you were trying. He normally hated it when his students were bad at his subject, but then there was you—you, who were really, really bad, but was also trying very hard.

He explained calmly and you kept asking him to repeat—annoying him, making him yell at you, but you patiently listened, looking bashful. When you finally understood, you thanked him, and bowed, causing the button pendant to slip out from inside your collar and dangle. You hadn’t noticed it was showing, but Sanemi had. His eyes widened just a bit before noticing you walk away, causing him to stare at the pen he was using to explain a math problem to you.

The pen you had given him.

He knew of his shortcomings, but it was rare to find a person who wasn’t appalled with his attitude. He was sure of it, though. He’d looked at you properly for the fourth time and thought the same thing he thought when he looked at you properly for the third time. 

*

During your graduation, you missed meeting Shinazugawa-sensei, but luckily for you, he gave you a smirk when the assembly was about to begin. You didn’t know what the smirk meant, but on the rare times you had seen it and your heart flipped, this had managed to do the same once more. You unconsciously touched the button necklace, something Sanemi noticed you do (and he knew what you were doing because he had given you the damn button). 

You attended Tokyo University, Sanemi’s alma mater, for English. It was only for a year, luckily for you, and you knew you were going to have to come back home for your family. You’d look for a job there, but what you didn’t know was one of your old faculty members was teaching in Tokyo. 

     “You should join Kimetsu Academy!” He said, patting your back.

Your heart flipped at the thought of your old school, the school where Sanemi teaches still. He had been your senpai, your sensei, and if you were to join Kimetsu Academy as a TA, he’d be sensei again, but so would you.

Although part of your motivation in joining Kimetsu Academy was teaching in your old school, you couldn’t deny joining Kimetsu for Sanemi. You weren’t sure if he was married now—you were 22 years old, which meant he was 25. You were hyperaware of him and what he was doing and you knew he would be surprised with this move. 

On your first day, you took your time walking through empty corridors. You remembered the locker you used back in school, where you’d place your outdoor shoes and your indoor shoes. You let out a sigh as you walked past your old classrooms, feeling warm on the inside. 

     “How long do you plan on wasting time?”

You jumped and turned around to spot Sanemi, leaning against the opposite wall, looking at you as if you were crazy. Your eyes were wide and you felt like you were going to have a panic attack. Your heart was beating erratically, and your mind was blank. You were not ready to see him yet, you wanted to see him surprised and yet, here he was, surprising you!

     “Shinazugawa-senpai...” You voiced, placing a shaky hand against your heart. “You... You scared me—”

     “You still wear it?” 

You blinked, “Eh?”

Sanemi pointed to his own neck and your eyes widened. Your face reddened and you let out a soft squeak before earning a throaty chuckle from him.

     “H-How did you... I mean—I... It symbolizes the essence of my childhood, it’s... it’s not what you—”

     “Shut up,” Sanemi said, sighing. “Didn’t really think it’d be goodbye for real, did you?”

You blinked, confused. 

     “What do you mean?”

He took one good look at you. The fifth time. And when Sanemi smiled at you, you thought you’d actually die.

     “Life keeps throwing you back to me. Didn’t think it’d be a fucking coincidence, did you?”

     “What did you think it was?”

You weren’t sure why you were so nervous. You weren’t sure why this felt like he was confessing to you. He merely shrugged and walked away, leaving you there with more questions than answers.

A month passed, with bare minimum interactions. You had made new friends, and you were getting better at teaching and handling a noisy classroom. You wore your button necklace with pride, flaunting it almost, sending secret smiles to Sanemi who sent you secret glances in return. Soon, the secret glances were late-evening interactions, when the two of you would stay back to correct answer papers. 

It was one particularly long night when you realized you were utterly and irrevocably in love with Shinazugawa Sanemi. You still had four more sheets to go, and the time was over 8 p.m., in the night. Sanemi was still in the staff room as well, correcting his own bunch of papers—cursing here and there about how terrible kids were at math. You’d generally interrupt with a mild conversation, but Sanemi noticed how you hadn’t uttered a word in over an hour. He paused, noticing how he had one more paper to go, and turned and looked at you.

You were engrossed in reading the students’ papers. You had a stern look on your face, the sternest you could conjure, and you were chewing on the back of your pen—a habit Sanemi hated, but found adorable when you did it. He took a good long sixth look at you right then, your hair messy, your eyes having heavy bags underneath them, your fidgety fingers, and he thought the same thing he thought when he saw you for the fourth time and the fifth time. 

He was so sure you would become his wife. He was so sure. 

But perhaps, the sixth time he looked at you was a bit different. Sanemi felt a strange nostalgia upon seeing you, wearing his button around your neck with pride, remembering how the first time he saw you he thought you looked idiotic even. He hadn’t realized he was watching you for a couple of minutes now, in utter silence, and enjoyed the whole while.

Oh shit, Sanemi’s eyes widened. Oh, fuck.

His mother had warned him about how Shinazugawa men fall in love. They fall rock hard and it would most often kill them. The realization hits them at a young age, they were sure of what they wanted and Sanemi was sure as well. 

But for the first time in his life, he was floored. 

     “Oi,” He let out, a serious expression sitting on his face. “(y/n).”

He had resorted to calling you by your first name, not that you complained.

     “Hm?”

You were paying the papers more attention than him. You really were a good teacher. 

Sanemi stood up and walked over you, you weren’t even aware that he was approaching you, and stood by your side. He looked at the papers, the long answers and the amount of red pouring into them. He looked at your head and leaned down, his mouth right next to your right ear. You shuddered when you felt a breath on your ear, but you didn’t move.

Slowly, Sanemi pressed his lips to your cheek and stood there, waiting for a response. He didn’t want to scare you—he hated scaring you, but he did enjoy flustering you.

You were frozen like a rock when he pulled away. Sanemi wasn’t one to casually give off affection like that, but there were times you knew he could be gentle. You turned slowly, to meet his gaze, his hand supporting him as he bent down to your level. Your face was bright red, but your eyes were intense. 

     “Shina—”

     “No.”

You gulped. You understood him too well to know what he meant.

     “Sanemi-san.”

He grinned before looking at your lips once, twice and then into your eyes before noticing your hands reach up to his cheeks. The sexual tension was palpable in the air, and just as soon as your hands touched his cheeks—he took the plunge. He kissed you, like Sanemi would, rough and passionate—his hands buried themselves into your already messy hair and he kissed you some more. He captured your lips into his own, before pulling out and kissing your jaw, your neck, and your eyes, before plunging and kissing you again.

You gasped when he brought you to a standing position, pulling you closer to him and kissing you harder, but also softer—a compassionate side of Sanemi’s most people were not allowed to see. 

When he pulled away, it was as if you would die if you didn’t tell him.

     “Sanemi-san, I... I love you.”

He knew. He knew it from the third time he had seen you. He grinned before laughing, confusing you, offending you—but you had seen it.

Your eyes widened a tad bit when you saw the adoration he had in his eyes as he looked at you.

The seventh time Sanemi Shinazugawa saw you, he was floored; he was deeply, and devastatingly in love with you.

And while people relied on words to express their feelings, there you were. You were fluent in Sanemi’s own internal language. You had always been. And it had always, always been you.

     “For... For how long have you—”

The question was left hanging in the air for a bit before Sanemi answered how Sanemi would. 

     “Shut up.”

❞

[the-sinking-ship]

Top 5 of 2020

Rules: It’s time to love yourselves! Choose your 5 (ish) favourite works you created in the past year (fics, art, edits, etc.) and link them below to reflect on the amazing things you brought into the world in 2020. Tag as many writers/artists/etc. as you want (fan or original) so we can spread the love and link each other to awesome works!

I was tagged by @tackytigerfic and @sitp-recs (🤯🤯🤯) and I’m so honored!! Thank you!! I’ve seen this tag floating around and have tried to read every single one I come across because I absolutely love hearing the things authors appreciate about their work. I’m a big supporter of strong-arming friends into self-love because it is so easy to be overly critical of our creative endeavors. 

I’m pretty new around here (I’ve only been posting Drarry since October), but I managed to publish four fics, all of which I am proud of for completely different reasons.

I’m still heckin’ anxious about tagging others because I’m new/just getting to know people and worry I’ll be that annoying person where ya’ll are gonna see my tag and be like THIS BITCH AGAIN?! But I will probably retroactively tag some people if I notice they haven’t had a chance to do this. Everyone should take the time to reflect on their accomplishments, especially after this trash fire of a year. Ya done good!  

Anywho! Here we go. 

1. Criminal. I’m so proud of this fic because a) I love it b) I finished it and c) I actually published it. A tip of my hat to anyone and everyone who has ever completed a piece of writing over 50k because SURPRISE! It’s hard. But I also learned that I fucking love it. That it is what I do best. It is honestly my comfort zone, always has been and always will be. I wrote this fic in complete isolation. I hadn’t yet been introduced to all the lovely and supportive people in this fandom/on the Drarry Discord and wrote Criminal alone, without beta help or cheerleaders, which I’ve discovered is a very lonely process. I didn’t really know if anyone would accept my story or even read it, but I finished it anyway (which, for a person with a wicked case of praise kink, was honestly terrifying). I’m not at all ashamed to say that I’ve read the comments people have left on this fic dozens of times. I’ve felt that telltale lump in my throat because of them. I’ve left them in my inbox for days because just looking at them gives me hope and confidence that words I write can bring joy to others the way other people’s fics have brought me joy. 

2. Stupid Love. This was something I wrote in an almost feverish haze while editing Criminal. Tacky, if you’re reading this, I owe you a debt of gratitude because not only are you a gift to this fandom for your skill, wisdom, and infinite kindness, you are legendary for your fic recs. You were one of the first to shout-out this fic in the Drarry discord and act as my fic-pusher, and because people trust your impeccable taste, they read it. So, thank you for taking a chance on a newcomer.  

I’ve always been insecure about my voice as a writer as it possesses almost none of the qualities I admire in other people’s work (subtlety, nuance, restraint). It’s like, whereas I enjoy a nice glass of pinot noir because it is delicate, artful, and expertly crafted, I feel like I’m over here dumping half of bottle of tequila into a mug shaped like a cat and offering to my readers like eh?????  This piece was flamboyant and ridiculous and so very me, and the fact that people liked it as much as they did felt like a hug. It was the assurance I needed that there is room for my style in this fandom. 

3. Sweet Indulgence. Yeah, I called it that because that’s what it was for me. I’m just over here trying to have a good time and this was so fucking fun to write. It has a similar vibe to Stupid Love and I’m glad it made some people smile. And TBH, this was a big deal because I was scared shitless to tell @fictional that I was writing something based on her art because if she hated it I was going to have to dig a nice deep hole and start my life as a mole-woman. But look at me! Still above ground! And Lynn still talks to me!

4. Quicksilver and Phoenix Fire. This was SO HARD. I’m forever in awe of writers who can create such flawless works with so few words. This was my first ever prompt-fill/wc limit and although I was really self-conscious about it, in retrospect, I’m really pleased with out it turned out. I could have made this 10k, but enjoyed the challenge of working within parameters and think it was a pretty darn successful fic, all things considered.   

Here’s to 2021! I look forward to reading more, writing more, and interacting more. Thanks to everyone who reads/comments/tolerates me because I’m just over here doing what I do best, which is kick down doors to rooms where I’m barely invited, shouting some stupid jokes, and praying to jesus someone laughs. ❤❤❤

[humming-fly]

It’s my Birthday!!

As is tradition today will be spent drawing Incredibly self-indulgent bullshit so look forwards to that later on, but the reason I’m really bringing it up today is because I want anyone wishing me a happy birthday to Call Your Representatives to help the USPS!

As someone who sells charms and whatnot the USPS is critical, and if it looses funding me and a whole bunch of other artists are not going to be able to give you that sweet sweet hyperspecific merch (and also like, it’s a pandemic and using the mail to vote is uhhhhhhh Important) 

You can help out by going to https://5calls.org/ - it makes things super easy, you just put in your location and it will pull up your representatives and their phone numbers as well as giving you a potential script to follow! My introverted ass did 3 calls yesterday with minimal awkward stuttering so overall a win! (Also if you’re really nervous, like 95% of calls will probably go to voicemail so you’ll just be leaving a message which is less stressful on the whole - just remember to include your address so they can verify you’re a constituent!)

(And if after that if you want some boon for your good deed send a message letting me know you called I’ll give you a thank-you randomly generated image from my screenshot folder; there’s over 600 ridiculous images for the taking so roll the dice and come get your blog-assigned icon haha)

Thanks ya’ll!

[j-morgan-fly]

Fandom Discord, GOT/ASOIAF

You know what’s messed up? That I can’t even find someone to do commission of Jonsa with their four children from a story I’m writing because of the discourse in the Game of Thrones fandom between Jonsa/Sansa Stans and Jonerys/Dany stans. 

Like seriously? 

And by the way, I completely understood and respected my commission being turned down for the reason that the wonderful artist did not want to draw attention to themselves that would make them a target of ridiculous and unnecessary hateful criticism for choosing to draw that particular couple for me.

To the fandom:

I understand where both fans are coming from, I get what makes the couples and characters appealing and also what makes the couple and characters unappealing. But the fact that we give others so much crap over who we like is nonsense. There fictional characters in fictional relationships that we like to read, write and draw but that is all they are. If they helped you get through a tough time, that is awesome, for others these couples and characters might make them think of more upsetting times are people they knew in real life that hurt them or they see troublesome parallels with historical figures or events in which are controversial and dangerous. I know that happens a lot with Dany, but guys, be respectful, fight that urge to stand up for your fave if you think it’s going to end badly between you and the other person. I do it all the time. 

No one is telling you(or they should not be telling you if they are) who you should like but everyone is allowed to explain why or why not they like certain characters. If they think a character is racist, thats valid, that is their perspective and we need to learn from why they see it that way and bring that into our own lives and fix the way we see and treat people. If someone thinks a character or relationship is abusive, the same as the first point should be applied. 

Also, we don’t have to like a pairing or a character to appreciate amazing talent and art. I see Jonerys art posted all the time and I appreciate how beautiful and skilled the artist is even if that is not something I personally ship.

Honest to God, I don’t even really ship Jonsa. I don’t really ship either, I don’t think I’ve ever put much effort into writing a Jonsa romantic fic. I’m doing it now to learn how to get out of my comfort zone, to expand my writing skills and after I want to try my hand at writing Jonerys but ya’ll need to fucking lay off while I make my attempt and let me try without shitting on it because it’s not exact to how you see your faves. The same is applied for art. Do not EVER give shit to an artist for the basic ass reason that you just don’t like the pairing they have drawn/painted.

Like shit, I know we can’t make everyone happy, that really sucks but it’s life. We all got to live on this planet together, we are all on this god forsaken sight for some reason still, so lets me tolerant of each others ships and faves and keep our thoughts to ourselves if we got nothing constructive to say and the same goes for people responding. If you don’t like someone making a counter point or pointing something out that is in disagreement with your fave/ship and you can’t bring yourself to respond back maturely then fucking ignore it. Keep going, move on with your next thing. If you feel that you are just going in circles, no one is learning anything from each other and it’s just a roast then stop, don’t type another thing and move on.

This is not an attack on one or the other, I am speaking out to both sides!

Damn, can’t believe I even had to write this.

And if you guys want to give me shit about picking sides, point out all my ant-Dany rebloggs go ahead. I’m allowed to reblog, I’m allowed to agree with certain issues pointed out about their character mostly because their aren’t as many about Sansa not that the anti-Sansa force is not strong in that group. It is. And both sides usually have the same arguments over and over, at this point I think I’ve learned all I can about why people hate both and why people like both.

Shit, these girls are super flawed, we don’t need to pit them against each other but it’s also misogynistic to just think because they’ve been through similar trauma and are women they have to be best friends. They don’t. I also don’t believe either has to just accept and kiss the others ass either. They can be at odds, some people just don’t get along and sometimes it’s justified and sometimes it’s not. Sometimes you just have a gut feeling, sometimes you just butt heads, your unable to see eye to eye and that can lead to really, really bad conflict or it’s something that just means their will always be a huge distance between these two people. 

Thanks, that is it. 

[reinhartroleplays]

all i’m gonna say is i think it’s a bit ridiculous to criticize lili for acting “casual” and “carefree” when all she’s doing is posting pictures of her dogs and poetry.

she can’t win for losing. if she responds to hate, she’s “drawing attention to herself and overreacting”. if she doesn’t respond, she “doesn’t care and is being insensitive”.

meanwhile cole can be silent and be praised for being mature and when he’s not silent, be praised for sticking up for herself.

mm. okay. we see how sexist ya’ll are.

[killscreencinema]

Death Stranding (PS4)

The first week of quarantine, I lost my job.  It wasn’t COVID related, more like “I hated my job and my employers finally realized it” related.  So it was actually really good timing that I began this game while unemployed, as virtually delivering packages to people made me at least feel like I still had a job! 

Death Stranding, released by Hideo Kojima’s new independent studio in 2019, is set in a bleak, post-Apocalyptic future where the world of the living and the dead have converged in a catastrophic event called, well, the “death stranding”.  Dangerous phantoms, called “BTs”, roam the countryside, dragging anyone unlucky enough to encounter them into their world.  The only person who can stand up to them is a porter named Sam Bridges (Norman Reedus), who has a unique condition called DOOMS which allows him to sense a BTs presence (who are otherwise invisible to the naked eye).  Paired with a child bred to act as a link between the living and dead, called a  Bridge Baby, or BB, Sam can even see a BT, making him the only candidate who can possibly bring the world back together by traveling the wastelands of the former United States, delivering packages and connecting the surviving human cities via something called the “chiral network”.

So it’s basically a fucked up, but better, version of that Kevin Costner movie The Postman.

Also, if it seems like my story summary took longer than usual, welcome to the world of Hideo Kojima!  I tried my best to explain the story in a brief synopsis, but I still didn’t even scratch the surface of it.  For example, I didn’t even mention how Mads Mikkelson intermittently drags Sam to a battlefield-like purgatory so he can steal his BB; or how Sam’s mysterious connection to the BTs makes his bodily fluids deadly to them, so you will often use weaponry made from his piss, blood, and shit to fight them; or how his primary objective is to rescue an enigmatic woman named Amelie, who may or may not be the daughter of the recently deceased President of the United States, from terrorists who want to use Amelie to bring about the extinction of humanity.

This game is bananas, ya’ll... but in the best way.

I started this game with extremely low expectations, as it had been critically lambasted by most of the major gaming sites and YouTubers.  From the previews of the game I watched, it just seemed.... weird.  I didn’t understand what the hell I was looking at - Norman Reedus with a pod baby strapped to his chest, and a strange flappy doodad on his shoulder, while walking on a tar beach strewn about with dead whales?  What the fuck, Hideo?  Visually alone the game was such a stark (and I mean *stark*) departure from the Metal Gear games, so when I found out the gameplay was delivering packages, I became convinced that Hideo Kojima had done lost his goddamn mind. 

Turns out... and this should hardly come as a surprise... the man is a goddamn genius.

Truly brilliant art always offends and bewilders the senses at first because your mind doesn’t know how to cope with what its experiencing.  Watch any given David Lynch movie and you’ll see what I mean.  The human mind has trouble processing totally new information that has no frame of reference in memory or cultural awareness, which is why “weird” art initially repulses before it gains a following (and many great artists die in poverty before they are recognized for their genius).  Imagine introducing a peasant from the Middle Ages to a helicopter - they’d think it looks absolutely ridiculous, so when you tell them it can fly, just IMAGINE their incredulity. 

Anyway, I think that is why initial impressions of Death Stranding were so negative - it was a lot to take in for a lot of gamers used to being spoon fed repackaged versions of the same games but with different titles.  Even things that seem at first “original” have recognizable gaming mechanics that ease the player in.  I mean a game set in the apocalypse where the core gameplay is centralized on package delivery???   There’s nothing like this!  So your reaction is either going to be “This is brilliant” or, like the medieval peasant, “this is ridiculous”.

Mind you, I’m not saying if you don’t like this game, you’re as stupid as a medieval peasant.

I get why people would hate this game - it’s very different than a lot of games out there.  Death Stranding is bold and audacious in its storytelling and its gameplay.  It takes a lot of risks that most AAA publishers (like Konami for example) would balk at, which is why Kojima had to create his own company to make it.

The gameplay seems simplistic at first - deliver packages from point A to point B.  However, it’s a little more complicated than that.  For one, the key element of the game is item management and learning not to bite off more than you can chew.  Sam can only carry so many boxes, and the more you stack on top of him, the more difficult the journey will be, especially when crossing BT territory or bandits (called MULES) nipping at your heels.  You also have to take into account the rocky terrain, river crossings, and weather (oh, did I mention that rain in this game, referred to as “Time Fall”, can rapidly age items and people?).  The game is all about carefully choosing equipment you’ll think you will need, whether it be weapons, ladders (for climbing large cliff faces or crossing deep rivers or chasms), sprays for repairing damage to packages, or even a spare pair of boots in case the shoes you’re wearing wear out.  So to say that the game is “just delivering packages” greatly diminishes some of the nuance going on here.  Yes, there are lots of long stretches of just walking across a landscape to some of the most melancholy music ever assembled on a soundtrack, but I’d argue that having patience for those moments is part of the gameplay. 

The game can be frustrating, such as when Sam refuses to climb a ledge you KNOW is climbable, so he just trips and falls over instead.  The vehicles that you eventually unlock are some of the most goddamn frustrating vehicles in video game history.  At first, I figured it was because I would eventually unlock better modes of conveyance more adequately adapted to crossing rough terrain, but no - they all drive like shit.  Just getting the truck to drive up a hill without spinning out and rolling backwards can fray on one’s nerves.  It’s hard to discern how much of it is the vehicle and how much might be poor controls.

The story, as alluded to above, is ambitious at best and pretentiously bloated at worst.  However, if you’ve played any of the Metal Gear games, you know what you’re signing up for when it comes to high concept, over-indulgent story.  I would say that for the most part, Death Stranding’s story is coherent enough to enjoy, although there are long expository cut scenes that convolute the plot more than clear it up.  Fortunately, the characters are well developed enough, and are interesting enough, to keep you invested (a storytelling skill that is perhaps Kojima’s saving grace).  Also, the more dramatic beats of the story are impactful enough to still resonate, even if you’re not entirely sure what the fuck is going on.  It helps to have talent like Norman Reedus, Mads Mikkelson, and Lea Seydoux in the cast, whose performances bring the characters to life.  Sam in particular might have been an insufferable loner, were it not for Reedus’ gruff likeability that made him famous from Walking Dead. 

If you’ve avoided this game because, like me, you were convinced by bad reviews that it sucks, I would highly suggest that you reconsider.  It may not be as fun, or compelling, as a Metal Gear Solid game, but it’s an interesting departure and one worth experiencing.

[abbbiemarie13]

Killing Eve Season 3 Asks: 19, 22, 23, 32, 35 and 36. + What's your personal favorite performance of Jodie Comer?

oooohh hiii!! 

19) Sum up how you feel about S3 in three words. 

Villaneve is endgame. 

22) What song have you been listening that is not necessary from the show but has big Villaneve energy or always makes you think of them? 

The Night We Met by Lord Huron. It’s so beautiful and will forever be a Villaneve song. 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wGF7PswOENQ

23) Tangfastics or a KitKat?

KitKat only because I have never had tangfastiscs before lol 

32) What is your biggest criticism of S3?

Hmmmmmm. I would have to say the organization of the events in the season. Like everything felt super choppy and didn’t flow really well. It felt unnecessarily rushed. There were things that were important and didn’t get enough attention, and things that felt minor and had too much time. One of the big things was Kenny’s death. Kenny is way too important of a character for his death to just slide under the rocks. But maybe it will be something that they dig more into in the next season.  I know this was a big season for Villanelle and her personal character development, and while that’s amazing and I love seeing how she has progressed, I think there was plenty of room for other things to happen. I am sad at the lack of Eve. But, I’m interested to see how and where they are going to take season 4. 

35) Describe the expectations you had before the finale.

I tried to stay away from a lot of discussions and theories and go into the finale with as clear of a head as possible. I had a few book thoughts that didn’t happen (which I won’t say what they are in case ya’ll want to read them). But the main thing I wanted was for Eve and Villanelle to get together and admit their ridiculous love for the other. I reaaaaalllllllyyyyyyyy wanted another smooch but good things come to those who wait :) 

36) Is there something you wish Villanelle and Eve had talked about in finale that they didn’t? 

Oh this is a great question that I never thought about. The thing that I think is really beautiful about them is that they don’t always need to talk to communicate. They express so much to each other just by a look. or a kiss (wink wink) And they are able to understand so much about each other with hardly any words. But I think it would have been a really cute moment if they talked about what happened on the bus. Even if it was a brief witty exchange just acknowledging that that was a thing. Because it clearly affected them both so aggressively. And you know that neither of them have stopped thinking about it. 

what is my favorite Jodie performance??? 

OH LORD HOW ABOUT ALL OF THEM. Good god there seems like there isn’t anything that woman can’t do. Her acting is truly something that is unmatched and just will keep getting better as she grows. However, there is a scene from The White Princess where she is talking to a group of soldiers, basically telling them to get their shit together and defend their country. Her overall performance in TWP is spectacular. And just the EMOTION in her face and in her entire body is so moving and outstanding it really brought me to tears. But I also think another great performance is at the scene with Villanelle’s mother right before V kills her. Incredible. Absolutely incredible. 

These were so much fun thank you love <33

[missfaber]

author interview

I was tagged by @orangeflavoryawp, thank you so much! 

I already know I’m going to enjoy this way too much, writing is such a lonely endeavor and I just love talking about it, sooo... I apologize in advance for rambling. 

name: Madeline/Maddie 

fandoms: this is complicated because there’s fandoms I very much consider myself a part of because they’re just a huge part of my life, even though I don’t contribute content to them, and then there’s fandoms I do create content for. So idk where the line is drawn! 

fandoms I contribute/ have contributed to: Avatar the Last Airbender, Game of Thrones, Merlin BBC, Once Upon a Time, Legend of Korra

fandoms I haven’t contributed to but are so dear to me: Harry Potter, Lord of the Rings (my two favorite things ironically lol), and lots more 

where you post: AO3, used to be ff.net and livejournal too

most popular one shot: by kudos, it’s as if death itself was undone (zutara, atla: katara wakes up to azula in their house and wants to find out a) why she is welcome b) why zuko is acting so weird) 

most popular multichapter: by kudos, it’s soldier, go bravely on (jonsa + gendrya, got, complete, rewrite of the last episode of got with sweetness and angst and action, and may i say some common sense?)

favorite story you wrote: fuck omg this is difficult lol! because I both criticize and love all my stories in equal measure, I honestly don’t write anything that i don’t love, that doesn’t give me butterflies / actual chest pain (from angst). I feel like I’m being asked to choose a favorite child lol. so I’ll try to justify these picks somehow... 

closest to my heart: soldier, go bravely on (also mentioned above). this is the fic that brought me back to writing fic, and to tumblr even! I was on hiatus (that I didn’t know was a hiatus because I had no intention of coming back) for six years before writing this fic. I wrote it so quickly after the got finale, it was such a passionate and fevered few days and it just sucked me back in to everything I used to love as a teenager. It was also a nice stretch out of my comfort zone, because of the dialogue (which was so tightly planned it’s ridiculous, I wrote the whole fic as a screenplay type thing first to make sure there wasn’t a single dialogue word not needed) and tv-episode style. It’s also such a wish-fulfillment fic that I can’t read certain parts without getting a bit teary. for all those reasons and more, this fic will always be so special to me. 

most proud of: wolf, circle north (jonsa, got, alternate season 7 & 8). this is the longest fic I’ve ever attempted and the number I’ve hours I’ve sunk into it is astounding and i should be ashamed.  It’s going to be obscenely long (my outline is 70+ chapters) and when I pull it off, best believe it’s going into a bound book so I can look at how thicc it is and be like, “I did that!” lol. The range of POVs is one of the most challenging but most rewarding part of this fic, and why I’m so proud of it. This is another wish-fulfillment fic for me, not just because it’s another fix-it fic but because I have been writing bits and pieces of this fic for about three years. I kept thinking of jonsa scenarios and little scenes I would have loved to see after season 6 and writing them in a little secret doc, just for me, as I never thought I’d write fic again. After writing “soldier” i had already broken my hiatus and I realized this fic was an actual possibility, so I put it out into the world. I couldn’t be more happy that I did that. Not only did it give me the chance to be in such an excellent, lovely fandom, but the feedback I get is so validating after having this be my secret little project for so long.  

most formative: Coffee & Cigarettes, (merthur, merlin bbc) I’m ashamed to list this and the merthurs reading this 100% want to kill me for having the audacity because it’s incomplete and hasn’t been updated since 2013 when there’s only one chapter left so what’s my excuse?  I call this the most formative for me because until I published this I didn’t really have a fic that people followed and liked, eagerly awaited updates for, and commented regularly on. I was writing a lot of one-shots and atla stuff on tumblr (I used to RP lmao I was like 15 ok?) This was the first time I experienced so many fic-life things, like being excited to get AO3 emails, etc. This was the first time I started to really focus on character which is so important to me now, my writing is completely character driven. Not to mention Merlin and Arthur’s dumbassery and sheer attraction and denial is just... *chef’s kiss* 

guiltiest pleasure: my recent foray into nedsei, who am I??? one more word and you won’t survive, just international hate sex

story you were most nervous to post: ummm idk I’m usually excited not nervous, since for me fic writing is just fun, I write things I’d enjoy reading and that I’m proud of. I read my own fics more than anyone else does, I guarantee it. am I a narcissist? who knows I guess I’ll say “soldier” again because I hadn’t posted fic in six years.

how you choose your titles: wow the hardest part of fic writing for me!!!!! thanks!!!!! lol. Okay so for my work titles, which are always terrible and I literally regret them immediately after posting, it’s usually just some words I play around with and string together that are somewhat thematic and related to the work... they’re always terrible lmao, I hate making titles. I mean, look at “soldier, go bravely on” and “wolf, circle north” for god’s sake, I hate them lmao. But I have to pick a title to post, so!!! For chapter titles and one-shots I’ll usually go with a song lyric, and especially for my chapter titles I spend so long seeking out the perfect one that reflects some thematic or emotional content of the chapter somehow. I’m very proud of my chapter titles for wolf, circle north. I have a doc on my scrivener just for chapter titles that I created in the very early stages of writing it, where I just dumped HUNDREDS of song lyrics that I thought I might use. Then by them I wrote some scenarios where they could work. here’s a screenshot:

It’s so helpful now. Sometimes posting an update will take an hour more than necessary because of me going through that doc, finding the perfect lyric. 

do you outline: OH, DO I OUTLINE... Hell Yeah, I outline. I couldn’t live without outlining. I love outlining. My outlines have outlines. I’m a planner centric, calendar centric, bullet-journal bitch so of course I love outlining. In all seriousness though: I write out of chronological order. I feel my writing is best when I write the scene I’m in the mood to write- unfortunately this scene could be ten chapters down the line from the chapter I’m gonna post next. This is the biggest reason outlining is necessary for me. If I didn’t have an outline, my story would be a non-post-able mess. 

I wasn’t kidding when I said my outlines have outlines. For wolf, circle north I have, um, a few. Character/location centric outlines where I bullet every scene that needs to happen for that plot to happen cohesively (these were all more or less completed before I even started writing the fic), then a “loose” outline that I copy everything from the other outlines into for some semblance of chronological order, then a Polished Final Outline that I write from. I know that sounds psychotic. It’s how my brain works. Some photo evidence/explanation:

And here’s a screengrab of my Final Outline, this is pretty much how it is all the way down- The POV character is italicized in the front, I talk to myself a lot in there, let myself get carried away, will sometimes write out whole segments of the scene if they come to me while outlining. Spoilers for chapters 1-3 of w,cn I guess!!!

Then, because scrivener is awesome, I get to see this outline in the corkboard view (I input every scene as a card) and so I get to see every part of my outline as a Synopsis on the right hand side of the doc where I’m writing the scene:

The POV and status tags (which are completely customizable) on the lower right are helpful too. This post is just a scrivener ad. 

complete: 9 works 

in progress: 4 works

coming soon / not yet started: I have so many fics in the works, I’m an indulgent person so if an idea comes to me I usually go with it for a time. I’ve had a very not-serious Jonsa PLL AU I’ve been writing on and off since summer. I have three different fairytale AUs (also jonsas) I’ve been working on and one time travel AU for @sunbeamsandmoonrays. I can’t say when or if any of these will see the light of day, because my priority is my WIPs and my original writing. But the most prevalent are my Halloween fics (one jonsa, one gendrya, one merthur) which I really want to be able to put out this month, but only if I meet some other goals. I’m trying to rein in my indulgent ass, ya’ll. 

do you accept prompts: no. sorry! but I do workshop ideas with friends, for example the nedsei fic happened that way by talking with @flibbertigiblet. But I don’t take writing prompts in my inbox. 

upcoming story you are most excited to write: my halloween merthur fic. it’s witchy, sassy, and I’m so excited to get back into the heads of these characters.

Tagging! @uchihabat @anniebibananie @noqueenbutthequeeninthenorth @sailorshadzter @vivilove-jonsa and any other lovely writer soul who wants to do this!

[arigatouiris]

out of my league // t.h — 06

Pairing: Tom Holland x Critic! Reader [I use female pronouns]

Warnings: swearing; eventual fluff; angst; hurt/comfort; pining; a little bit of cliche because come on.

A/N: I am so overwhelmed with the love that this story is getting. Thank you all so much. It means so much to me. Also, this whole story is kinda meta in the sense that I’m trying to keep it as real as possible. I like writing this way, makes it all the more believable? Yeah idk. Do let me know what ya’ll think~ Also, if you want me to add you to the series taglist, just drop a note or comment! ^^

Word count: 3968 (oops, words just spilled)

Series Masterlist

 05 | 06 | 07 

It was the third time that day when Harrison noticed Tom crack a smile to himself. At the moment, he was eating a sandwich, and staring at his phone—a trait, which was rather odd for Tom to have, since he wasn’t all too obsessed with his phone. Harrison watched with a knowing smile; he didn’t even have to look at what Tom was looking at to know. Tom Holland had a crush on (y/n) (l/n), and Haz would make sure to get this out of him, in any way possible. Sometimes, Harrison thought it was rather odd for Tom to have a crush on someone he barely knew. But, through the years, people have always been telling him that he’s wiser than his age; that Harrison Osterfield knew things and understood things better in a more metaphysical sense.

   Harrison didn’t deny this, of course. He knew he was wiser than his age, he knew he understood things better. Though, this knowledge might get some people cocky and arrogant, Haz wasn’t either. He was a friend, and sometimes, he’d sass if he had the time.

   “You like the sandwich that much, mate?” Haz asked, staring at his friend.

Tom looked up and put his phone down, almost mimicking the movement a boy would have if he were caught with something naughty. Haz held back a chuckle, watching his friend fumble.

   “Yeah, the sandwich is good. What’s up?” Tom asked, taking a bite; almost regretting saying that it was good. Before grimacing, he knew he was being observed by a certain observant friend of his, so Tom did what he did best. Act.

   “Cut it out, Holland. I’m not a div,” Haz laughed, before leaning back against his chair.

   “You like her.” He completed.

Tom’s eyes shot open wide, before shaking his head and looking around. He then slowly pointed to himself, to which Haz nodded slowly, and Tom scoffed.

   “Like who? (y/n)? No way.”

   “I didn’t say who, mate.”

   “I knew you were talking about her, though.”

   “Why did you know that, Tom?”

Tom Holland was flustered, and perhaps, one of the only people he couldn’t pretend in front of was Harrison. Groaning, he ruffled his own hair before frowning. He looked confused. His body felt heavy, but his heart felt wild.

The second that Tom let out a sigh, Harrison spoke the golden words.

   “You like her, Tom.”

Tom shook his head. “I don’t know her.” His voice was low, almost as if he didn’t want to believe it himself. It wasn’t a problem, of course he could like anyone, and most often you don’t get to choose who it is. But, Tom knew this was ridiculous, absurd even. He didn’t know anything about her. She made that very clear last time, he thought before groaning again.

   “And the biggest lie ever was told today.”

Tom’s gaze shot up to meet his friend’s eyes. He squinted a bit before questioning what Haz meant.

   “You don’t have to know a person to like them, Tom. Don’t be an idiot.”

The moment didn’t hit him hard right away. It came as a slow breeze would, indicating a rain was about to pour. A rain so hard and heavy, but welcoming. Tom, at that second, forgot his friend was sitting near him, forgot he was an actor, forgot a great many things that bound him to who he thought he was. Her words rang in his ear, I’m not all that great with strangers—and the response his mind thought to it made him realize that Haz wasn’t spouting rubbish. If she thought him a stranger then he didn’t want to be. And the fact that he didn’t want to be meant there was something more.

   Tom knew it wasn’t an intense feeling, but a feeling he wanted to nurture and grow. He wanted it slow and steady, unlike other times when he’d relish the feeling of a quick paced romance. Here was not romance, here was not love—at least, not yet; here was a feeling, a possibility, staring back at him with eyes unlike any he had seen before. Tom found himself standing above a cliff, with no bottom, and not feeling afraid. A quiet sense of trepidation filled his veins, and Tom knew that her words were the catalyst for his sudden limbo.

   “I can’t,” Tom’s voice was now a whisper, his face was warm, his ears were warm, though he didn’t highlight that so was his heart. “She hates me, Haz. And-and, this can’t happen!”

   “It’s just a crush, mate. It’s alright.” Haz laughed, watching his friend go through something a regular person wouldn’t tremble over.

Perhaps, that was the problem. Tom lost his chance at being a regular person when he rose in fame as an actor. And hearing that he was a stranger by someone who also knew he was an actor, was what caused this strange crumbling feeling. Tom’s demise of a regular life left him numb in many regular aspects of a human’s life. Love, friendship, compassion—all these things were private now, because the world wanted to know everything about him. Not that Tom didn’t have friends, he did—some of the best—but his crushes needed to be extravagant, his love needed to be extraordinary. Something regular, something so simple as liking someone you just met, it seemed so foreign to him; and even if it meant acting this scene out in a movie, Tom still found it so strange that it was actually happening to him.

   “Don’t think with the fame, you dolt.” Haz scolded his friend, raising his eyebrows.

   “I can’t not.”

And perhaps, this is why Tom rejected the idea. He couldn’t accept this entire change. He was a famous actor, therefore, his life was different. As much as Tom wanted to numb the difference, facts remained facts. His last crush was Zendaya, a small crush it was—carefree but extravagant. The world knew about her, and the world wanted him and her to get together. This crush could be explained, understood—but (y/n)? Beautiful, strong, fiesty (y/n)?

   When there was not a single word he could utter negatively about her, he knew.

   “What are you going to do?”

Tom didn’t need to think. “Nothing.”

And the sandwich was forgotten.

*

There was a sharp stinging pain on the left side of her neck. Letting out a pained moan, (y/n) pressed her neck as she walked back home. All she wanted to do was collapse on the bed and sleep—there were too many articles, and too many edits. Not to mention Bruce spilling coffee over a pile of plain paper; she sighed. Most of these days, (y/n) found herself sighing when she thought of her life. It was slowly getting back on track, and it was slowly starting to feel numb.

   She opened the door to her home and smelt it; a hearthy feeling, a feeling she got nowhere else. She felt relief wash over her, and her shoulders sagged. The pain at the side of her neck was beginning to fade with the mere idea that she was home. Her feet dragged her to her room, and after discarding most of her clothing, (y/n) collapsed on the bed. God, this is perfect, she thought before humming in relief. Turning on her back, (y/n) finally allowed herself to check her phone. Clicking on Instagram, her first thought was Tom Holland, but she brushed that aside and checked the stories that her friends had shared. A friend of hers from school had shared a video of her cat yawning—swipe—her colleague was having beer with her date—swipe—stop.

Immediately clicking on the search bar, she typed Tom Holland, and sighed. She felt bitterness, and an odd sense of torment. Bitterness, she realized, was just anger that forgot where it came from. His follow request was still present, but she had chosen to ignore it. She didn’t know when it washed over her that she may be doing things that are extreme and uncalled for? She didn’t know if she was right, only that she was hurt. He was an actor, and it was easy to say sorry. Saying sorry, perhaps, was the easiest act of them all. But, she didn’t want a sorry. An apology was different. And Tom Holland, had not apologized.

   Maybe he didn’t have to, it was not anything that he could gain something from. But, she had sensed kindness in him and that was her fault. So the expectation lay foundations in her mind. Because he was kind, she wanted him to try a bit harder. And because she was involved, she wanted him to try. Therefore, no matter how much she was feeling bad—at the end of the day, she was regular, with a job like clockwork, and he was an actor. And even apologies don’t manifest the way they needed to.

When her phone rang a moment later, (y/n) almost yelped. It was Aditi, and since it was a Friday night, (y/n) was half sure why her friend was calling.

   “Please don’t say there’s a party—”

   “My friend, Oisen, is throwing a party and you HAVE to be there. I can’t go alone because Oisen and I have history but nothing happened so if I don’t go it’ll be weird, but if I go alone, it’d be weirder because—”

   “Aditi, I’m exhausted—”

   “A few drinks will do you great. Just. Please.” Aditi wasn’t asking. Aditi never asks. Aditi demands.

   When it was decided that (y/n) was going to Oisen’s (Aditi’s Irish wet dream) party, (y/n) began to allow herself to feel a bit more loose than normal. (y/n) wore a black halter with a flowy mint green skirt that reached her knees. For most of her life, (y/n) was conscious about wearing clothes that revealed a bit more skin. It didn’t matter that she wasn’t too thin or too fit; at some point, the realization hit her that she was worth everything anyone was, and she too could wear clothes that anyone could. It was decided that Aditi would pick (y/n), so once she was ready, all she had to do was wait.

The doorbell rang just as (y/n) went to sit on her couch. Grunting and grabbing her purse, she opened the door to reveal a nicely dressed Aditi, whose grin could blind anyone who looked at her for too long. Hugging her friend, (y/n) and Aditi were ready to go. Oisen’s house wasn’t too far away, a fact that (y/n) liked, which meant that after a few drinks, she could come back on her own (if Aditi decided to stay back).

   “So, what’s the deal with Oisen?”

   “His name is Oisen, it’s pronounced Oh-sheen. Not Oye Sen.” Aditi corrected.

   “Oops, sorry!” (y/n) laughed. “Do you like him?”

   “Darling, if you laid eyes on him, you’d like him too.”

The party wasn’t too jam-packed, and again, this fact (y/n) liked. When there were too many people, she tended to get rather claustrophobic, and that didn’t do good to her social skills, which were already on the lower end of the spectrum. Stepping inside, (y/n) took a good long look at Oisen, who was quite handsome but too smiley for her taste, and let Aditi do what she did best. Grabbing one drink, Oisen greeted everyone who came, but that’s the sad part of being the host of a party—you don’t really get to have a lot of fun. It’s welcoming, and more welcoming.

Sitting on the couch, (y/n) revelled with the music that was being played, and successfully shooed Aditi to go talk to Oisen. (y/n) wasn’t a wingwoman, but she wouldn’t stop her friend from trying. A moment later, someone approached her. He had blond hair and blue eyes, a Nazi wet dream in person, tall stature and a kind smile. Immediately, (y/n) felt herself wanting to talk to him, and learn more. Turning to this new face, which she swore she had seen before, (y/n) smiled casually.

   “You don’t look like a social person,” he commented, his blue eyes were blinding.

   “I’m not really. But, I do enjoy parties occasionally.” (y/n) added.

The man extended his arm forward with a chuckle, “Harrison. Harrison Osterfield.”

   “(y/n) (l/n).” She said, before shaking his hand.

   “Please don’t think I’m rude for saying this, but I know who you are.” Harrison said, sheepishly.

   “And something tells me this isn’t the reason I want it to be.” (y/n) giggled as she said it.

   “Hm, you can say that.”

   “So, how do you know me, Harrison?”

   “I’m Tom Holland’s best friend.”

Time froze for (y/n), and the smile on her face fell. She let out a sigh before taking a couple more sips of her beer. Harrison waited for her to respond, not wanting to push her.

   “If you want me to leave you alone, I’ll be on my way.” Harrison’s voice was kind.

   “No, no. I’m sorry. I just wasn’t expecting that,” she looked at the blonde before saying, “You’re very sweet for being honest. I really appreciate that.”

Harrison smiled, “I don’t think that should be a reason as to why I can’t have a conversation with you.”

   “Hopefully, this won’t be about Tom Holland.”

Harrison was quite surprised to see (y/n) in the party. Being Oisen’s friend from school, whenever his Irish friend hosted a party, Harrison knew he had to make it; however, this is the first one in ages, and his friend knew exactly how to pester him. Harrison almost decided not to show, but in the last minute, he wanted to go. And this turned out to be beneficial, since one of the first people he saw in the crowd was someone his best friend was quite obsessed with.

   He was careful to not make a move or make her believe he was making a move. (y/n) was an attractive young woman, and there was nothing stopping him; but Tom was his best friend. He wanted to understand more about what he could do to help Tom, and even when he had once sworn that he’d never be a wingman, Harrison found himself in the shoes of one. The things I do for him are crazy, he thought before approaching her. However, what he understood over a period of a few drinks was that (y/n) was in fact, a very fun person to be around. Considering her background with reviewing movies and books, she was aware of several things that Harrison believed no one around him was.

   “So from this conversation I take it that you didn’t like Forrest Gump all too much.” Harrison said, laughing.

   “No! I loved the movie, but the Oscar had to go to Shawshank, I mean..” (y/n) was quite obviously, very drunk.

Harrison laughed at what she said, before leaning back against the couch. He noticed she was attempting to open another beer can, and he leapt forward.

   “Whoa, (y/n),” Harrison mumbled. “That’s enough for now.”

   “I’ve never been called those things before,” her voice was low, and Harrison paused. “Being called a slut and other names.”

Harrison blinked before having her lean back. He listened, and wondered if she was alright. She wasn’t too intoxicated, but he was worried for her. He looked for her friend, and noticed she was talking to Oisen. I’ll take her home, he thought before turning back to her.

   “I’ve never been called those things before but those girls made it seem so easy.” (y/n) said, smiling bitterly.

   “All my life, I just wanted to write. I was good at it, writing. I was good at telling people what I thought of movies and I’d always wanted to be a voice that people trusted. Being called a slut for doing my job hit me harder than it should have.”

   “(y/n), what you went through was terrible. Never put yourself down, alright?” Harrison muttered, lowly.

   “I don’t blame Tom, at all. He was only trying to talk on behalf of Jean, and it’s really nice that Tom’s on such good terms with people he works with. It’s a great trait,” (y/n) let out a breath before continuing, “I just…”

   “I don’t have any other place for comfort here, Harrison.”

   “What do you mean?”

   “I blame Tom because it’s easy. I blame Tom because… Because of what he did, those girls hurled insults at me. If it weren’t for what he did, they’d not have said anything. I blame him because... I don’t want all of those things to be true.”

   “Oh, (y/n). They’re not true. You’re an amazing person.”

   “You know that. Maybe, if I had a better chance, Tom would think that too. He doesn’t deserve the way I treat him. But I can’t not. I can’t not hate him because by hating him, I’m hating all that what happened to me.”

This was more information than what Harrison was expected, and quite frankly, he felt terrible. Here was a woman, whose hard work had earned her insults, and watching her open up to him broke his heart. He understood from her words that it wasn’t anger for Tom that made her push him away or ghost him; it was the fear from what happened. She’s not ignoring Tom because she wants to, but more so because Tom was now a symbol for the whole experience of what happened. And she’s pushing away the experience, and invariably, pushing away Tom.

   He held her arm and pulled her up, “Let’s get you home, yeah?”

   “You can drive?” She asked, blinking.

   “I’ve definitely not had the number of drinks you’ve had.”

   “You’re such a div, oh my God.”

Harrison laughed. Before leaving, he forced (y/n) to drink a glass of water, and helped her into his car. He fastened the seat belt for her and took his place behind the wheel. All the while, Harrison wondered about her. The pain she went through wasn’t given enough priority; sure, he knew Tom wanted to apologize, but that was the thing. It was all too fresh in memory for (y/n), and her reaction was justified because no one deserves to be insulted over hundreds of fan mail for doing their job.

   Once they reached her house, Harrison helped her get off. He walked her to her door and smiled at her as she tried to open the door.

   “Harrison,”

   “Don’t thank me, love. Just take care of yourself—”

   “I wasn’t thanking you,” She giggled. “I will, though.”

   “Alright. What is it?”

   “I try very hard not to forgive him,” Harrison blinked with confusion. “I don’t know if it’s Tom or because he’s an actor, but it’s so fucking easy to forgive him.”

Harrison understood what she meant. That was the way Tom was, it was hard to stay mad at someone so genuine. Harrison smiled a bit before nodding. He understood exactly what she meant.

   “I don’t want it to be so easy.”

Kissing her forehead, Harrison nodded. “Goodnight, (y/n).”

*

The next time Harrison met Tom was later that night. Tom had sent him a message asking to meet, regarding something about the script for the advert (him needing help memorizing lines, obviously). And since it wasn’t too late in the night, Harrison decided to help out. But, this was the perfect time to bring it up.

   “Mate, I just returned from a party my schoolmate hosted,” Harrison said, walking into Tom’s house. “And you won’t believe who I spent my evening with.”

Tom blinked. “Who?”

   “(y/n).”

Tom froze. Instantly, a frown appeared on his face.

   “Don’t worry, she’s a lovely girl, but not for me. She got too drunk and I had to drop her off. She’s really nice, Tom.”

Tom nodded once before turning on his heel and grabbing his iPad.

   “Do you like her?”

Harrison scoffed. “You twat. I’m here telling you to try harder.”

   “Try harder for what?” Tom asked, angrily.

   “She deserves the effort, Tom. She doesn’t deserve an easy apology. And besides, you—”

   “If you’re going to talk about how I like her, then forget it. Haz, I can’t like her. So forget about it.”

Harrison sighed before pulling the iPad from Tom’s hands.

   “Is this the script?”

The next morning, Tom was being driven to the shoot location. It was a 30 minute drive, and Harrison sat in the back with him. Things were slightly off from the previous night, but knowing Tom and his impulses, things would go back to normal relatively quickly. Before he could head inside the shoot location, he spotted a familiar face. A familiar face he did not want to see.

   “Mr. Holland, can you tell us what this advert is about?” Jennifer Campbell from the 9 ‘o clock show, asked him with a bright smile.

Tom stared at her with no expression on his face. He recalled all those times this woman in front of him had slandered (y/n) on national television, and felt a surge of bitterness wash over him. But, he was an actor. He had to be kind.

   “I haven’t entered the set yet. And no, I can’t comment.”

   “For someone who spoils things easily, you sure are trying to keep a secret.” Jen said, suggestively.

   “Listen, I don’t have the time to talk. Don’t you have other things to occupy yourself with?” Tom snapped, before walking away.

Harrison wanted to laugh, but there was only so much he could do to not make matters worse. He noticed Tom take out his phone, and clicked on Instagram. Tom typed in the name “(y/n)” and the first name that appeared was her’s. She’s still not accepting my request, he thought before grunting. He deletes the request and sends another. A moment later, he began typing out a message. Harrison sighed before looking away.

   I’m trying very hard here, (y/n). What more do you want me to do?

*

Tom’s message was brutal. A void in her chest was beginning to fill with anger. Quiet, defeated anger that guaranteed her the right to her hurt, that believed no one could possibly understand that hurt. Tears filled her eyes, but she knew she was only trying in vain.

   There are times you want something but you can’t ask for it. You instead reach for the opposite, hoping for some voice out there who’ll stop you in time and give you what you need; because only they can offer it to you. There was hope in her that made her wait and want more intensely than most would believe she was capable of, a hope that told her to want something in secret. However, the problem with wanting things in secret was most of the time, no one notices what you really want.

(y/n) wanted so desperately to forgive Tom Holland and move on, but she held on to her anger. Like a burning rod, intending to hurt the one who hurt her, she held it; not realizing it was burning her as well. She felt herself crumbling as she typed the message, knowing that it was not what she wanted, but she hoped. A hope also lay where anger had nestled, a hope that wanted him to try.

   Don’t try anymore.

If only she could see how Tom’s jawline clenched when she had sent him that message, if only she knew how much it hurt the actor, and how hard it made for him to act—she’d have let this all go. However, something came close to make her let it go. Something that perhaps felt to her as an end.

   Fine.

And she knew it wasn’t. 

*

series taglist:

@strangemaximoff, @aestheticgaybish, @noobmaster63, @why-are-all-the-teens-gay, @wonders-of-the-multiverse, @boushalaivre, @jackiehollanderr, @nerdypisces160, @yourwonderbelle, @quackson606, @stickyqueenbouquetsstuff, @fandoms-stuff, @danicarosaline, @toolateformcrtooearlytoleaveemo

[kyosohmastan]

I have wanted to do a post about matching characters/couples with Taylor Swift songs for ages. Now I’m finally getting around to it since her new album Lover was just released! Something I love to do is to associate characters with songs and often times, I can match them up to a song almost perfectly. So after having this album on repeat for the last few days, I’ve taken in the meanings to these songs and have applied them to Furuba characters that I think fit them. I think I’ll do this with Taylor’s other albums too and to other songs in general. It’s pretty fun!

I’m doing a video on YouTube covering this post so this is acting as my script. :))))

WARNING: Major Fruits Basket spoilers under the cut.

I Forgot That You Existed

“Then something happened that magical night

I forgot that you existed

And I thought that it would kill me, but it didn’t”

This one was tough at first. The first one that came to mind was Akito, but I don’t think most of the characters would be cold towards her. But then I started thinking about Kyo’s relationship with his dad and was like “That’s it!” This one is about having obsessively worried about the pain someone has caused you for so long and then one day, you forget about them and the pain they’ve caused you completely because you’ve moved on. After the series ended, I think Kyo really did move on from the hurt that his father put on him after neglecting him. Especially since he has Tohru who is someone who does give him the love he needed.

Cruel Summer

“I snuck in through the garden gate

Every night that summer just to seal my fate

And I scream for whatever it’s worth

“I love you”, ain’t that the worst thing you’ve ever heard?”

I really had to focus on what this song was about because I could not decode it haha. I had to look up the meaning. So I found out that this one refers to what happened in 2016 when Taylor was being harassed by Kim and Kanye West as well as on the internet and how difficult that period was. But at the same time, she had just met the love of her life and their relationship had just started. It’s about them going through this trying time together.

Based on the meaning, this song could apply to more than one couple, but I chose Yuki and Machi. They both were going through years of hardship and low self-esteem and when they met each other and were starting to fall in love with each other, they were still going through it, but they went through it together all while still worrying if they were burdening each other with their instability. The love and support they have for each other in both of their situations is beautiful. I can’t think of a more perfect song for them. 

Lover

“I’ve loved you three summers now, honey, but I want ‘em all”

I got more than one comment from ya’ll saying that this song is Kyo and Tohru and yup, I agree. One of the most romantic songs ever so, of course, it fits them. I love how this song just lists off things that she and this person Joe plan to do as they spend the rest of their lives together. I can see Kyo and Tohru doing all these things after they moved away together. 

The lyric I mentioned especially fits them because...they literally spent three summers together. In which one of those summers, their romance blossomed. That lyric alone is so them! I love it!

The Man

“They wouldn’t shake their heads and question how much of this I deserve”

Kind of reminds me of Akito? It’s about double standards between what a man does and how if a woman did the same thing, they’d get criticized for it while a man would be praised. The song talks particularly about excessive dating and how men are patted on the back for it while women are often slut-shamed for playing the field. Which doesn’t really scream Akito. Although she did play both Kureno and Shigure, she was never ridiculed for it. 

However, she took on a male persona because her mom forced her to. It really makes me wonder how she would’ve been treated while still head of the family if she displayed herself as a woman. One post recently reminded me of what Kyo said after finding out she was female which was “Had I known, I wouldn’t have been so rough on her.” That quote is what made me relate this song to Akito because she was presented as a man. But I have no doubt the zodiacs may have viewed her differently, maybe may have been even less scared of her, had she lived as a female. Something to think about...

The Archer

“I’ve been the archer

I’ve been the prey

Who could ever leave me?

But who could stay?”

My favorite song! I did a single post about this one immediately after hearing it because I had to mention how much it reminds me of Kyo and Tohru. More so it reminds me of Kyo specifically, but it applies to his relationship with her as well. All that I could think of while listening to it for the first time was “Oh, my God, this is Kyo!” The song is about realizing how weak you are along with coming to terms with the fact that all everyone ever does is abandon you. 

The chorus really reminds me of him. “I’ve been the archer”: he’s hurt others, including Tohru when he rejected her. “I’ve been the prey”: he’s been hurt by others, mainly the Sohma’s when they ostracized him. “Who could ever leave me?”: He can’t believe that they would just neglect him. Because who would? Especially a child?! “But who could stay?”: But he understands why. Because he is the cat. I will never not think of Kyo when I hear this song lol. Like I’ve said, I wanna do an amv to this song for the true form arc because it’s perfect!

I Think He Knows

“I think he knows

His footprints on the sidewalk

Lead to where I can’t stop

Go there every night”

This song sounds kind of obsessive to me. That really reminds me of Kagura and Kyo. Because that chick is crazy ahaha. Although the song talks about the love interest also being into her, which Kyo is not, I still apply it to them. Especially because I think Kagura is delusional in regards to how she thinks Kyo feels about her. So when the song says “I think he knows”, when I apply it to Kagura, I find it hilarious because Kyo thinks the exact opposite of her.

Miss Americana & The Heartbreak Prince

“It’s you and me, that’s my whole world

They whisper in the hallway “She’s a bad, bad girl”

Another one I had to really decode because it uses so much imagery. Apparently, it talks about her political stance which I kind of see? But it can also be interpreted as a romance that is unstable due to everyone around them trying to break them apart. It makes me think of Kyoko and Katsuya because, from the start, they’ve had odds stacked against them that kept them from really being together. Even after they were married, the Honda family was very hostile towards her. So they constantly were trying to overcome that. But I think ultimately they just focused on their love for each other and never let it go.

Paper Rings

“I like shiny things

But I’d marry you with paper rings

Darling, you’re the one I want”

This song is so cheesy but so cute. It talks about not carrying about formalities, such as engagement rings. She’d marry him anyway even if he gave her a paper ring because she’s that in love. I was reminded of Hatori and Mayu. The song also talks about the relationship being “cat and mouse for a month or two or three”, which Hatori and Mayu were for longer than three months haha. I can see Mayu not caring about the formalities of a wedding, she’d still be happy because she would be with Hatori forever and that’s all that matters. 

Cornelia Street

“I hope I never lose you, hope it never ends

I’d never walk Cornelia Street again

That’s the kind of heartbreak time could never mend

I’d never walk Cornelia Street again”

This song is very story-based so it was a little hard to relate it to the characters because it’s so personal. Like, they’ve never been on a Cornelia Street that we know of lol. However, I think the chorus really applies to how Tohru feels about Kyo. In the latter half of the series, we see her so stressed about the idea of him being locked away forever because she doesn’t want him to leave her. And again, after he rejects her, she’s completely heartbroken so much so that it’s evident that time could never heal that wound.  Fortunately, he stayed with her in the end. :)

Death by a Thousand Cuts

“I look through the windows of this love

Even though we boarded them up

Chandelier’s still flickering here

Cause I can’t pretend it’s okay when it’s not”

First thought was Rin and Haru because it’s the only breakup song on the album. It talks about someone leaving her and her not being able to get over it no matter how hard she tries to. Haru could never move on from Rin. Like we see in the manga, he tears apart a classroom because he’s that upset that she broke up with him. 

I also love the lyric “Trying to find a part of me that you didn’t touch”. Rin and Haru have been together since they were children so there’s always going to be that deep connection between them.

London Boy

“They say home is where the heart is

But that’s not where mine lives”

Another very personal song so it was hard to relate it to the characters because none of them are in love with an English boy hahaha. But from what we got from Fruits Basket Another, Hana married a foreigner so I’ll just apply it to them. That’s all I got lol. 

Soon You’ll Get Better

“You’ll get better soon

Cause you have to”

This song is deep, man. It talks about a loved one being in poor health and her being in denial about it. She just has to assure herself that they are going to get better. I really wanted to apply this one to Tohru and Kyoko, but Kyoko died before Tohru could think “You’ll get better” so there was no hope. Instead, I related it to Rin and Haru since Rin is in such bad health throughout the whole series whether it be mentally or physically, which constantly left Haru worried about her. He gave her the support that she would pull through in the end and from what we see, she did get better. And I just hope she’s in a better mental state after the series ends.

False God

“We might just get away with it

Religion’s in your hips

Even if it’s a false god

We’d still worship this love”

This one uses a lot of imagery about the toxicity of a relationship, but yet the two refuse to let it go. In my opinion and a popular one at that, Shigure and Akito have the most toxic relationship in the series and they’re aware of that. However, they couldn’t give a crap about it. As the lyric says “Even if it’s a false god, we’d still worship this love”. Even if their relationship was wrong, they’d still embrace them. I think it fits them perfectly. The chorus also alludes to a lot of sexual situations so that’s also pretty fitting as they’re one of the very few couples that we get any details of a sexual relationship about.

You Need to Calm Down

“You just need to take several seats

Then try to restore the peace

And control your urges to scream about all the people you hate”

Addressing the haters. So I thought it was perfect for Uo and Hana who are always so fed up with that Yuki fan club bullying Tohru. I feel like they would say all these lyrics to these girls. Good for them for standing up for Tohru! She needs it!

Afterglow

“I don’t wanna do this to you

I don’t wanna lose this with you

I need to say “Hey, it’s all me, just don’t go”

Meet me in the afterglow”

This one is really straightforward. It’s about someone sabotaging their relationship and apologizing to their partner for it. It makes me think of how Kyo felt after he called Tohru delusional and pushed her away. He very quickly regretted saying that to her especially after she fell off the cliff and for a few minutes, he thought she was dead. And the last thing he said to her was so hurtful. But he reconciles with her in the end and apologizes for being so stupid. 

The song discusses that pain she feels that she hurt her loved one so badly. As we’ve seen so many times before, Kyo doesn’t want to hurt Tohru. Even though he hurt her feelings because he thought it would benefit her. But, no. Wrong thing to do! At least he learned from that mistake and I’m sure he will never do that to her again.

Me!

“One of these things is not like the others

Living in winter, I am your summer”

My least favorite Taylor Swift song ever actually. It’s so cringe. So I honestly don’t want to talk much about it. I guess I can relate it to Akito and Shigure? Because Shigure thinks he is the one for Akito and not Kureno? Idk...

It’s Nice to Have a Friend

“You’ve been stressed out lately, yeah, me too

Something gave you the nerve to touch my hand”

At first, I thought this was just a friend song, but it’s actually about two childhood friends getting married later on. So that changes things. I think of Kisa and Hiro. Although we never see them get married, they’ve been childhood friends forever and they have that very innocent relationship like the song describes. And I headcanon that they do get married when they’re older so...

Daylight

“I don’t wanna look at anything else now that I saw you

I don’t wanna think of anything else now that I thought of you

I’ve been sleeping so long in a twenty-year dark night

And now I see daylight”

Omg I’m obsessed with this song right now. The message of it really means a lot to me. It’s about being in a dark place for a long time and then someone comes into your life and you’re so in love with them that all the mistakes you made and trials you went through in the past are just a fading memory. This person is your daylight. The one that helped pull you out of the darkness and into the light.

Hands down, this is Kyo and Tohru. Specifically, I think it describes Kyo’s feelings towards Tohru after they got together. We see that he’s been in a horrible place for a really long time. He never thought he would ever find someone to love him back. But Tohru did and in turn, she helped him come out of that dark place. Like these lyrics state “I once believed love would be burning red, but it’s golden”, I think he saw love as a fantasy, something that couldn’t work. But instead of it being “burning red” (impossible and toxic) it’s “golden” (beautiful and amazing).

~

So that’s it! If you have listened to the album and are familiar with the songs, let me know if you agree with the characters or couples I chose or if not, which characters would you associate with these songs?

[baka-naruto]

“Well it looks like this is where it all ends...

I can just tell. It’s not like I was keeping track or anything.” 

That was a lie. With each life I’ve come to this specific place to leave a mark. It’s a vast beach, with an ocean that stretches as far as the eye can see and trees that remain green for eternity. From the time I became aware that I was reliving my lives, I made sure to leave a ramen cup in this cave right behind me, underneath a set of rocks. It was strange that regardless of what I do in every life, this one place was the only place where my impact on each life remained clear. It changed with each life, as if adding a new layer to the chapters in my life. Anything I left here seemed to be protected from time...frozen with chakra. 

“--the ocean looks so beautiful...nostalgic even.” 

I say as a I take a drag from a joint Shikamaru gave me. 

I’ve always wondered what was across that vast stretch of water, yanno? With only one life to have, I never thought I’d be able to journey across it. When I died the first time I realized life wasn’t long enough to do everything you wanted. It sucked, but it was something I’ve come to terms with years before it happened. 

As you can tell I was given the chance to do everything that I’ve ever wanted. One Thousand Lifetimes to be exact. I journeyed across that ocean, visited places you’d never dream of, fought enemies tougher than any Goddess of Chakra, made friends and memories I will never forget. Hell I even went to space. It’s not as cool as you think, dattebayo. It’s pretty cold out there. 

Anyways, the point I was trying to make was that sure on the outside it may seem like these One Thousand Lives were amazing. But once your friends start to go and people start to forget you, it becomes tough. Becoming acquaintances, friends, lovers all became....as Shikamaru would put it, a drag. My eyes that were once full of life started to become tired. Even when I would return as a child, people would be able to tell instantly that that kid had been through a lot of shittebayo. 

They weren’t wrong. 

Everyone told me about who I was. Uzumaki Naruto. So many times I keep on forgetting that I am him.  I would look at the statues and belongings of his as if they weren’t mine. I even criticized my own fashion sense by the 600th life and started dressing nicer, even started taking care of my skin. Rule of thumb, moisturization is key! At least that was what Ino would always say. 

 “---maahh...” I complain as the blunt starts to run. 

Stuff like this always happened whenever I would reminisce. 

The only thing that kept me going were the select few people in my life who saw me as a pivotal part of their life. “They would never ignore me no matter how hard I tried.” I say while laughing to myself. 

Sasuke, my rival, my brother and my best friend. In every life things always seemed the same with you. But I liked it that way. You acting super nice to me would only feel like pity. Which was why I never told you the truth about my circumstances. But I know you knew. You just never bothered me about it. Too bad I caught on, because in every life I would come back, you seemed to treat me the same always. You’d even slip up sometimes. That Rinnegan of yours was the dead giveaway that I needed. Thank you for being there for me always and pushing me to be my greatest self.  I’m going to be joining the real you very soon. 

Hinata...the love that I was too blind to see even though you were staring right at me. I was a fool to not have understood your love for me earlier. I chased after Sakura constantly right in front of your eyes. I know it must of hurt you so much, but then again...your heart is so kind, so gentle and so beautiful that even then I knew you were still thinking about my happiness. Yet when I confronted you about it...I learned that it truly did hurt you...so I had to make things right. I am glad you gave me a chance, Hinata. I needed that slap from you! I wasn’t acting myself until you snapped me right back. A girl as perfect as you doesn’t deserve someone like me. Yet time and time again you choose me. It’s safe to say that in every lifetime...you always choose me as the one you’d fall in love with, dattebayo. You are an angel in disguise, Hinata and for that I will always always love you from the bottom of my hearttebayo. I was happy to have spent the last few of my lifetimes with you, Princess. Those were one of the happiest moments of my life. 

...and lastly... “...gawsh this is a hard one...” 

Ino... in every lifetime... you were always there. Watching...waiting...hating as I seized up every ounce of happiness from you with my selfishness. I never looked at you as a major part of my life, until you took a pompous seat within my mind. Even now I can hear you berating me for acting the way I am right now. I had never fought somebody so many times in my life. Hell I even remember when we took things too far and just kept on killing each other lifetime after lifetime. I hated you so much. You tormented my mind and created that ridiculous timeline where everything was fucked. In the end when I found out the cause of it all...everything made sense. I was taking Sakura away from you...the one who truly deserved and I did it without hesitation. Over and over and over again until you lost your mind.

I’ve never felt more sorry about anything in my life..

           ...well except for one other thing. 

...I’m sorry for falling in love with you. It was bound to happen with all the things we been through together. The one thing that brought us together was something that defined us both... falling in love with you broke that... It was there that everything started to change... and before I knew it you had vanished into thin air... my last and only friend. 

“If you are listening. I still love you... and I am thankful for all the good times we had. Your impact on me made me stronger than ever. Which is why I am able to take this final breath with stride. It’s all thanks to you.” I say as I look up at the sky.

It doesn’t seem like I will see you wherever I am going, but if I can... I hope to see you again someday. 

As the surrounding started to fade a circular wooden door opened up above me. From it... all the hands of those waiting for me reached for my soul. Kaa-chan, Tou-chan, Hinata, Sasuke, Ino...

“Finally... I am free...” I felt this before... my soul leaving my

physical form. I slowly reached out to ya’ll and before I knew it...I was finally headed where I should of been a Thousand Lifetimes Ago. 

And so my story...

...The Story of The Thousand Year Star finally comes to an end. 

                                             “Sayonara, Dattebayo...”