#I’m literally shitposting about shitting whilst shitting

[davekatzdefensesquad]

Ow me booty hurt from toilet sitting ouchy ow ow

[screechingkingdomhottub]

what, why and who i am

hello there, internet peruser.  if you’ve seen my other posts, first: i’m sorry. second: you might have some type of interpretation of me that is in my mind purposefully vague and also way too specific. i’ve made starkid memes, i’ve ranted about literally anything, i’ve shitposted, honestly you could think im anybody and thats wild to me. so let me explain. 

i started this tumblr in 2016, 6 years ago i think. i was so angry at my home situation and also just mad at my inability to process my own emotions - imagine trying to process my anger and getting mad at the anger itself. later on i got diagnosed with autism and i was like “ohhhhhhhhhhhh that’s why i cant read what im feeling for shit” but there was still SOMETHING. here’s the thing, when i’m angry, it’s a completely all encompassing emotion. yknow in naruto when he gets the fox chakra around him? that’s what being angry feels like to me. i can feel each inch of my skin just angry and usually it’s about NOTHING. well nothing to other people. things other people deal with easily without a second thought. 

some of my anger worked for good, anger at social issues like police brutality, racism, homophobia, xenophobia, transphobia, all that fun stuff like that’s good that makes me fight. but there’s also a selfish anger. the tyler that’s angry at himself for not being able to make friends like everyone else, for not being as independent as everyone else, for not being able to keep up with his peers, for having to message the same person 8 times a day about useless shit cause he just wants someone to care. i wanted the illusion of a friend rather than actually wanting a friend and thus when people didnt fit the archetype i wanted them to i’d isolate myself further and be mad about it. that’s the other thing i’ve always felt either incredibly angry or cripplingly lonely. 

so what does this have to do with anything? well, whilst in 2016 i was just being an edgy teenager, as the years went on i started thinking if i could write to a group of people a completely outrageously dramatised version of my anger (all my stoner posts, i do have trauma from it and because of my family, there’s a high chance that if i was to do weed i’d become violent and hurtful, the rage is internalised and im sorry if i hurt any of you sincerely) then i could see how ridiculous i was being and feeling and it was lessen the effects. it didnt. 

i would stay up because i was that angry over nothing. nothing got rid of it. i tried any coping mechanism you can think of healthy to unhealthy. meditation, working out, reading, writing, counselling, hotlines, vent channels, sh, nsfw content, music, everything. nothing fixed it. until now. 

im on sertraline now. this is basically zoloft. its still early days but so far my anger is still there but a normal amount. i think about the stuff that made me so viscerally angry before and i get a little annoyed but i can move on. i can shrug my shoulders and get on with my day or go sleep and it’s wonderful. the downside is that i’ve had sleep paralysis my first night on it, i’ve felt my brain zap against the back of my skull so many times, i’ve woke up in the middle of the night with my body spasming randomly. i don’t want to tell the doctors about this stuff cause i dont want them to take it away. ive never felt peace like this before. i dont want my peace to go. 

tldr: im no longer viscerally angry at everything, im sorry if i hurt you and im way too reliant on my medication

[ridiculously-over-obsessed]

Alright so I'm just gonna post this here because it saves me having to dm people/stick it in group chats over and over and then have to responded to everyone and get really Overwhelmed. All the people I would tell about this are on here anyway 🤷🏻

I've been absent a lot lately (both from here and from group chats) and it's because I've needed some time to think and sort my life out, and realise some really difficult things. This has all lead to me making the decision to drop out of uni. I know, I know, I'm almost at the end etc but the thing is I'm not. I'd need deadline extensions which puts my finish date not in 2 weeks but in 3 months minimum if I don't end up repeating the year. The physical, emotional and mental journey there is left to go is like a mountain climb and I just can't do it. If I'm being honest I've been done with this shit since halfway through my first year. I never wanted to do this degree, and the emotional and mental cost of it is too high at this point for me to continue forcing myself through it.

So yeah, I'm done with uni. I've got some things in the pipeline, I've even got a job interview on Thursday, but what I haven't got is any inclination to carry on with something that is (and I do mean this very literally) killing me. It's been a really difficult and emotional decision to make, and it's not one I've made lightly, but at the end of the day I have to put my mental health first, and that means accepting the fact that sometimes things are not meant to be. I am okay, and I definitely will be in the long term, but I am a little distant rn whilst I come to terms with all of this. I have no regrets about this decision, I actually feel at peace for the first time in my life.

Okay I'm sorry for rambling, back to your regularly scheduled gay shitposting now 😅

[yiqiie]

IDOL PRODUCER S2: E2 THOUGHTS

every week, i’ll sit down and watch the newest episode of Idol Producer Season 2 《青春有你》and write down all my thoughts. nothing get’s left out so get ready for a bunch of memes, shit posts and rants as we get through another season of our fave survival show 

feel free to send me any questions to my inbox and i’ll answer them asap!

a/n: sorry this is late! i forgot the episode was released yesterday welp but tbh saturday night is probably gonna be my upload day anyway 

start time: 10:42 am 

my internet is experiencing problems woooooo so this will be interesting 

so many goddamn ads 

wait who’s the team who were playing like instruments and shit??? they sounded AWESOME

oh damn recap of zyx being pissed off 

MILK ADS 

that chewing gum is actually pretty good ngl 

also the theme song is getting catchier so don’t be surprised if i start liking it 

i still feel so bad for the kids who are sitting out IN THE COLD 

[break while my internet decides if it wants to continue being an asshole]

MC JIN YOU’RE HILARIOUS I LOVE YOU 

‘if you’re a rapper, PLEASE LEAVE’ i’m dead 

zhang pd is sighing lmao 

chen si jian leggo 

IT’S A RAPPER I’M CRYING AHAHAHHAHAAH 

*awkward silence* 

he’s shaking omfg poor baby 

also minghao is really cute ily i never said it before 

HE WROTE THAT?? oof you got talent boy 

he got a zyx serious nod 

wtf he was so quiet??? and now he’s just rapping the shit out of this song 

HE CAN SING YES YOU GO BABE 

oh damn those lyrics 

is it an A? i saw in the description there might be an A today 

IT’S A B YOU GO SWEETHEART 

IT’S THE SMILER FROM LAST EPISODE 

i love their suits 

LI ZHENNING BABE YOUR SMILE 

black pearl i’m crying his skin is GORGEOUS 

HIS POUT 

ALL OF THEIR SMILES ARE SO BEAUTIFUL 

zyx and mc jin talking about shi mingze being similar to kris wu 

LOOK AT ZYX’S FACE MY EXO FEELS 

he looks like my uncle I SPIT MY WATER OUT LMFAO 

jia yi’s CLAPPING I AM IN LOVE 

THAT ENTRANCE 

HIP WIGGLING I LOVE IT 

the song was damn good 

mc jin lmfao HIS SOUNDS 

even the trainees know that their bets on other trainees’ grades are probably gonna be wrong lol 

YOU’VE SCARED THEM ZHANG PD 

jia yi why are you so fcking cute 

NO ONE IN C EITHER 

well their prediction wasn’t wrong they said all of them would be D together 

but :( i really liked their perf 

HE WANTS TO GO ON STAGE JUST TO SEE ZHANG PD 

what a precious bub i shall protect 

stretchy bendy boi

xu long han uwu 

WAIT 

HE WAS THE ONE WHO CALLED ZYX A DIMPLE LIAR 

AHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAH 

[pls excuse as my wifi loads again]

LI RONGHAO NOT UNDERSTANDING THE JOKE 

i actually love him 

oh jesus this song brings back the memories lmfao 

THIS KID IS FCKING HILARIOUS I LOVE HIM 

stretchy bendy boi again woooooo 

I’M CRYING HE’S SO FUNNY I LOVE HIM MUM 

we already knew he was F but still ;; 

YOU MADE A GOOD IMPRESSION THOUGH GORGEOUS ILY 

YAO MINGMING ILY HE’S SO CUTE 

LOOK AT HOW ADORABLE ALSKDJALSD

6 years as a trainee damn boi 

oh shit 

how is being this good at dancing fair holy goddamn 

THEY CAN SING TOO WTF THIS IS NOT FAIR 

[wifi cut off again so guess what i GET TO WATCH THE PERF AGAIN] 

zyx has his serious face on 

wait they just got up from that position WITHOUT THEIR HANDS 

HOW IS THAT POSSIBLE

uh oh they ain’t getting As or Bs 

A C AND A D NOOOO 

okay i agree with his comments but c’mon they were nervous 

don’t worry babes you have plenty of time to improve! ;;; 

zhou shi yuan oh god i need to remember names 

HE DOES BIOMEDICINE?? DAMN BOI 

deep voice holy shit damn 

VOCALS VOCALS VOCALS 

omg so many vocals today 

BROMANCING ALREADY SHARING MILK 

okay that sounds weird 

THE BOY HE CHEERS AT EVERYONE WHO IS HE 

others: :| 

this boi: :O

omfg he’s a fcking meme too 

[paused while my mother makes me watch a David Attenborough documentary on bamboo] 

MAVERICKS LET’S GO 

MR X’S SONG WHOOP WHOOO 

IDOL PROD S1 FEELS LEGGO 

IT’S ACAPELLA HOLY SHIT LET’S GO 

vocals damn holy shit 

okay the dancing may not be as on point because there was a bit where they weren’t doing anything 

BUT I STILL LIKE THEIR VOCALS 

YAO CHI WHAT THE 

WE HAVE A B BABES 

GUAN YUE FINALLY 

MY BEAUTIFUL SMILING BABY BOY I’VE MISSED YOU 

even yixing is in love with his smile i can tell 

those sharp dance moves though 

I LOVE GUAN YUE GUYS 

honestly that was my favourite performance i don’t care what other people say 

it’s probably gonna be a B 

even though i want him to get an A 

LIAN HUAI WEI MY FAVOURITE BUB 

li wenhan holy shit you are fcking adorable 

YUEHUA LET’S GOOOOO

he forgot to bow WHAT A CUTIE 

LI WENHAN BEING A LEADER I LOVE 

babe don’t say you don’t want an F because zyx can sense fear and he’s gonna give you one 

i’M PRAYING FOR YOU ALREADY 

wenhan is such a soft boy omg 

JIAYOU BABES I’M ROOTING FOR YOU 

oh goddamn these slow mo shots are killing me 

OOF WENHAN GAVE ME A LOOK 

picking up the rose petals I AM DEAD 

guys i still really love jolin she smiled at me and i just forgot about my love for all the others 

jks li wenhan is singing at me now 

i want him to get an A but my bet is on a B 

NO Fs OR Ds WE DOING GOOD 

hu chun yang is really cute just saying 

told y’all so 

even though i wanted him to get an A

YES IT’S THE BAND HOLY SHIT 

THIS WAS SUPER GOOD IN THE PREVIEW 

oof i love it i love it i love it 

probs not gonna get the results i want them to get but WHO CARES I’M STANNING 

all Cs i can deal with that 

LIKE MY DAD POOR LI RONGHAO

i really like this guy’s suit 

wait i forgot his name 

i’ll wait till zyx says it again lmfao 

ZHANG PD SAYS HE’S HANDSOME 

chen you wei THAT’S HIS NAME 

HE GOT AN F WHAT 

oh here we go gramarie

okay i gotta say gramarie is really good at picking songs 

like last year it was a really good song too 

when are we getting an A 

the accents are so cute AHAHAHAHA 

zyx is losing his shit 

i missed their names though and their company 

there aren’t any left????

are there seriously no As?

oh damn 

i just noticed that the new trainee clothes are from new balance 

I AM CRYING FROM LAUGHTER 

such a good reference to ‘balance’ 

they’re really not going to give zyx a break lmfao 

theme song practice leggo

IT’S THE SM PRACTICE ROOM 

MY SM FAMILY FEELS 

i really do love the new uniforms 

THE DORMS 

WE’VE MISSED YOU 

bruh the gifts are better than last year 

wenhan you’re adorable omg i’ve said this so many times 

SOMEONE HAS A YODA AHAHAHHA

XU MINGHAO YOU’RE A GORGEOUS BOI 

and you’re a cutie too 

he speaks so softly too ugh ily 

lmfao their hands look like jellyfish ngl 

but damn xu minghao you’re a good teacher 

wang jiayi ;;; working when everyone left already 

ngl i’m not feeling the broship like last season where people would go out of their way to help each other 

he’s literally by himself and it’s nearly 6am 

jesus this boy is hard working 

LMAO once one person comes in everyone comes in ahahhahha

okay okay previews here we come 

wait removing the centre decision 

TO WHAT

oh damn future stages what a look 

I LIKE 

sidenote: i took a ss of this beautiful boy but forgot where i was going to put it so i’m gonna leave it here anyways. enjoy :)

finish time: 9:47 pm 

that’s all folks; tune in next week for another episode of mai’s shitposting whilst we suffer through another survival show together!

[joel-furniss-blog]

Shitposting and Dada

I discussed briefly in my project statement how I sense a certain lack of ambition and that I enjoy and produce work that is often of low-effort and low-quality, and in the previous semester I intended to sort of trick the examiners into giving me a better mark by overloading them with a quantity of work, trying to sort of test the ‘quality ≠ quantity’ saying. This method of producing work is quite like another of my favourite pastimes, the online behaviour of shitposting.

As vast as its internet domain, shitposting can take up a myriad of different forms on different forums, but a generally agreed definition is ‘posting large amounts of content "aggressively, ironically, and of trollishly poor quality” to an online forum or social network,’. Usually this is in order to derail otherwise orderly online discussions or alternately to bastardize a site to its regular visitors. Its usage dates to the early 00’s under the influence of niche online forums and imageboards, in which comment threads were often derailed from discussion by anonymous users either adding unconstructive posts out of ignorance or malicious intent. The resulting environment of chaotic misuse it results in is commonly referred to as ‘cancer’ (highlighting just how seriously an issue it is thought to be).

From its initial days as a minor annoyance on obscure online sump, shitposting has since changed into a much more mainstream culturally practice, especially in the intersection between internet trolling and politics. With its ability to aggravate, avert information, and overload systems, shitposting has fit well into the maddening expanse of contemporary politics and its sensationalist coverage, its first prominence being in the 2016 United States presidential race among examples of other radicalised internet phenomena—such as the appropriated mascot Pepe the Frog who has his own shitposted legacy—where the internet-savvy right-wing circles used memes as a new age propaganda machine to entertain its recruits and alienate its enemies through a stream of coded slang and images pumped out at a perpetual speed.

A most extreme and unfortunate example of the extent of the radicalization shitposting can cause is the 2019 Christchurch shooting in which an ethno-nationalist terrorist livestreamed his attack on Facebook and released a 74-page manifesto publicly on Twitter and imageboard 8chan as well as being sent directly to more than 30 recipients including multiple media companies and the New Zealand prime ministers office. The manifesto was allegedly littered with multiple memes including references to video game Fortnite, YouTube personality and alt-right running dog PewDiePie, and the classic Navy Seal copypasta, as well as alt-right associated meme and Serbian anti-Muslim turbo-folk song commonly referred to as Remove Kebab, paired with the method of distribution the manifesto could be seen as a most radical version of shitposting, intended to throw out morsels of the shooters philosophy to confuse outsiders and tempt those who might sympathise.

But shitpostings use is not exclusive to the political-right, as left-identifying groups have also used it for their own advancement, such as Facebook group New Urbanist Memes for Transit-Oriented Teens with over 175,000 members who produce and exchange memes and general discourse related to environmentally friendly and socially accommodating urban design schemes and transport reform, whose impact has seen 2020 United States presidential candidate Bernie Sanders become a member and supporter. Shitposting and trolling has even cropped up in the UK political scene, with current Liberal Democrat party leader Jo Swinson having to explicitly state that she does not murder squirrels after a fake screenshot of a news article saying so began circling Twitter.

With its relation to the fake news phenomenon and the post-truth environment, shitposting has found a comfortable place in the current political climate, but for my own sake I have to ask; how does it relate to art. Surprisingly, shitposting—while not in its current form—was very crucial to art history. The conceptual elements of shitposting, its ideas of producing an output of notably low effort, with enough capability to rise reactions from those lacking in acumen, and then continue to overwhelm the viewers by reproducing the same min-effort/max-impact work are comparable to the pursuits of the Dada movement. With its lack of principles, no cohesive aesthetic, and overt anti-normality take on making art, Dada holds many similarities with shitposting. Even contextually they are somewhat parallel, with the birth of Dada spewed from the loins of a WWI-era Europe in which class divisions widened between the uppers who were protected and profiteered from the war and the working class who suffered financially and psychological from its first-hand effects, paired with a spike in nationalism and a deduction in perceived human rights it was the turmoil and the bastardizations of the modern human society that spurred the reflective works of Dada, in essence producing shit art for a shit period. Whilst lacking in the same kind of industrialised killings of a World War, today’s society can be seen as comparable to the same conditions Dada was born under, a sharp rise in nationalism broaching into outright fascism in many places; a correlating increase in alienated peoples changing the other side of the political pendulum; governments which actively undermine their own people for financial gain (as if that’s anything new); consequences from governments decades past haunting marginalised communities and countries; a revolt every other day in every other country; an alphabet or damaging ‘-isms’ and ‘-phobias’; and a general feeling of slow and sinking madness infecting society, it’s easy to see why such absurdist practices as shitposting were born.

It’s easy to see certain similarities, even in famous—or infamous—examples such as Marcel Duchamp’s Fountain (1917) which was sent to a gallery exhibition as an absurdist remark on arts dichotomy between the aesthetic and the conceptual, the ceramic shitpost (or rather pisspost) of an overturned urinal embodied the same attitude as a modern shitposts, irritating to any traditionalist constant, and amusing to those who either don’t understand it or do. Shitposting is an effective way to overturn expectations and subvert opinions. Even the way it spread so suddenly, with a rise and fall caught in six years in over ten countries across the globe mimics the viral sensationalism of internet trends, rising to a global impact to suddenly deconstruct itself through saturation.

Both subjects were also entwined with the political game, with Dada practically challenging any traditionalist view it could, condemning the rising nationalist tendencies and capitalist fervour of societal ‘progress’, found especially amongst the Berlin group. Under the depression of the Weimar republic and the following rise in oppression by the Nazi party, German Dadaists continued their absurd political communication and activities through art, with their efforts corralled in with other morally objectionable art labelled as ‘degenerate’—a word that has also found relevance amongst certain shitposters—they rebelled nonetheless, with artist John Heartfield even sending postcards of his work directly to Nazi leaders, a literal shitpost.

However, just as concept and context can be applied, so can criticism to both subjects. Some art historians have noted Dadas perverse relationship with race, with a streak of using racially charged language an imagery with little to know relation or appreciation for other races, especially that of Africans with prominent member George Grosz often performing a minstrel show at the movements epicentre the Cabaret Voltaire and the Incoherents Paul Bilhaud painting an all-black work titled Combat de Nègres dans un Tunnel (Negroes Fighting in a Tunnel by Night, 1882). Paired with a fetishization of racial others as ‘primitive’ Dada had problematic effects, much like shitposting which, as previously discussed, has become lumped in with the narrative of deplorability within right-wing margins, and later majorities. However, from personal experience I have seen just as much shitposting from left-wing sources as right-wing, because it lacks any concrete coding and has evolved from mindless pastime to activist tool, but there are obvious questions on whether politics should be taken in such a Dada direction, whether it’s anti-sense sensibilities will reduce politics to further churlishness that it already is, whether elections will do away with voting systems for a game of ‘how many memes can either side send’.

I’m not here to concern myself with the politics of shitposting, I’m studying this topic from a sincerity past politics and into a wider philosophical scope. I love shitposting, the anonymous nature of the internet lets me crawl into someone else’s life, sew whatever discourse or confusion I can and then promptly leave, like a stray rat running across a kitchen floor only to never be seen again, moved on to another person’s virtual kitchen. However just as a rat searches for food, I search for shitposting grounds that are comfortable to me, things that I care about or have some sort of personal opinion on, things like euthanasia, suicide, societal expectations, abortions, issues on morality, art, and other various philosophical conundrums that I am slowly devolving. In some cases, I think it’s the most earnest thing one can do, to laugh into the void as it were and generate absurdist rebellion to normality that’ll upset its balance. I even think it has practical applications, take into consideration the increase in targeted advertising algorithms, in which websites and apps hijack personal information you send or even speak privately to sell you products. But by streaming false or flagrantly inflated information instead it is possible to confuse and disrupt the targeting algorithms, a small rebellion against corporate injustice. Some may call it sadistic, or sociopathic, or just plain sad to deliberately seek and produce such effortless and meaningless content, but I see it to hone my ideological axe, to build my ideas into more concrete forms. Paired with the previously mentioned anti-normality connotations with the Dada movement, and the current cultural relevance of it, I think the philosophical implications behind shitposting are essential to my current work and I will continue to take inspiration from it.

 “How does one achieve eternal bliss? By saying dada. How does one become famous? By saying dada. With a noble gesture and delicate propriety. Till one goes crazy. Till one loses consciousness. How can one get rid of everything that smacks of journalism, worms, everything nice and right, blinkered, moralistic, Europeanised, enervated? By saying dada. Dada is the world soul; dada is the pawnshop. Dada is the world’s best lily-milk soap

Why can’t a tree be called Pluplusch, and Pluplubasch when it has been raining? The word, the word, the word outside your domain, your stuffiness, this laughable impotence, your stupendous smugness, outside all the parrotry of your self-evident limitedness. The word, gentlemen, is a public concern of the first importance.”

[watcr]

Rules 🟡 About 🟡 Bio & Misc

DISCLAIMER: This is not intended by any means to be an entirely serious rp blog. This is originally based based in Grand Theft Auto 5. And was created in a custom Grand Theft Auto Online server by Markiplier and thusly portrayed by him whilst he played. If anything this is a Crack!Role Play blog that looks well put together Face claim and all but I'm really just here for rediculous interactions and wild hijinks with a clueless dad delivery man. That being said: any backstory and the creation/ videos/ acting itself belongs to Markiplier. I'm simply just writing a character that I enjoy and makes me laugh.

Please Note: This blog will still contain highly suggestive content and situations with a comedic take on them. This includes being robbed, murder, drug use, hostage situations and then some. I mean-- Stan was made in Grand Theft Auto.

RULES/ General Info:

This is a side blog to my main: mxrkedfordeath

Para/ Novella writing length

Primarily dash/mobile profile

18+ no ifs ands or special cases

Again: this is a Satirical/Crack/Meme role play blog. Expect rediculous things to be said and done

NSFW present/ Friendly

Non-Selective; as mentioned above I created this blog for fun. If any of this meme I have created interests you please feel free to send me a DM or ask and let's see what wild hijinks we can get Stan into huh?

Although the voice is provided by an internet personality that is where this ends. I am still uncomfortable with interacting with blogs that portray real life people or influencers/ internet celebrities. I'm not going to have Stan rob someone with a celebrity that is real. It's...its uncomfortable.

Considering my reason I made this blog and the nature of it, random starters or asks are welcome! If it's a weird situation, place or even different universe I will make That Water Boi lore friendly.

That being said however: please do not include oneself in a thread that you are not involved in.

Absolutely no personal blogs

OC friendly

Crossover/AU friendly

No Godmodding

No hate/ harrassment

Multimuse and Sideblog friendly

Unless featured or seen in the Stan The Water Man videos by Markiplier there will be no preestablished anything. Unless it is Kiki, or Jimmy Stan does not know you and this naive man child will greet you very horribly as he always does.

Shipping: I do allow it but dont think its going to be very serious either. When he sees you ladies? Its literally hitting the jackpot if you get more than a few words that are even close to coherent. So yes. If you wanna simp or thirst over stan that's cool just know that his skull is thicker than a military bunker wall.

•Memes, asks, and shitposting alike is pretty much this whole blog. Stan is a sweetie but hes not close to being the uh... brightest bulb in the box.

About:

Stan or Stanley Wheeler is a 39 year old delivery man and a family man. He strives to please those around him with wonderful water and his company.

Still a delivery man with his new life after a difficult divorce and loss of custody of his "Sweet baby boy Roy" he focuses on bettering his life as a means to be reunited with his son.

He is always well hydrated and firmly believes in comfort and efficiency instead of style.

(About if you stumbled into this shit show):

This is a role play blog for an original character created by Markiplier in a custom Role Playing server for Grand Theft Auto V. It's quite literally a chaotic whirlwind where the main protagonist is a 39 year old divorcee whose love for water is concerning... but not so much as the mans gullible nature and far to generous personality.

This is really only a summation because there are literal HOURS of videos of Markiplier playing Grand Theft Auto and being the voice of Stan Wheeler during his adventures in Los Santos. It features amazing improv and the ever expected rediculous chaos that ensues in Grand Theft Auto.

Bio:

Name: Stanley Wheeler

Gender/Gender Identity: Male

Age: 39

Face Claim: Chris Evans

Voice Claim: Marikplier/ Mark Fischbach

Romantic/ Sexual Preferences: Questioning/ Unsure

Nick names: Fanny pack, Water boy, Sunflower

Personality: Generous, Optimistic, Friendly, Oblivious, Awkward, Curious, Helpful, Trusting

Occupation: Courier, Delivery Man/Boy, Water Delivery Man

Favorite Color(s): Blue & Yellow

Likes: Water, Fanny Packs, Sunflowers, Biking, Work, His Son

Dislikes: Coffee & Soda, Lying, Fighting, Talking to women (watch the episodes to know)

Hobbies: Biking, Boating, Spending time with his son, Meeting new people

Quirks/ Other Traits: Has a strong....Love for water, Suffers from a yet to be diagnosed but constant seizing of bodily muscles that occasionally cause harm, A REAL Virgin 'Dad', Amazing at lockpicking, Terrible Driver

Final Note/ Disclaimer: Again, although this blog is for fun from a truly chaotic and hilarious improvised playthrough of a unique online role playing server for Grand Theft Auto V, please REMEMBER what game Markiplier created and voiced Stan in. Just because Stan is clueless doesnt mean the subject matter is. A lot of dark humor and shady if not bad situations arise in Mark's videos and I really do want people to know that although this is all in good fun the dark unfiltered comedy of Grand Theft Auto is still going to be followed in this portrayal. That means Stanely would very well (and has) ended up robbing people, kidnapping, Killing people or being an accomplice, Jokes based upon sexuality, Gender and then some. Of course before writing I will ALWAYS discuss subject matter that you would like to avoid but unless stated the aforementioned or to those whom have watched the adventures of Stanley know just how inappropriate and harsh/blunt/in your face comedy that is present.

Not only one final disclaimer as to how nsfw Stanley's life and choices end up being-- but giving credit is where it is due; Markiplier. He literally Created Stanley Wheeler and his uh... well him. And brought Stan to life via voice and gameplay. Stan never is and never was mine he's just a character.

Mun absolutely DOES NOT ≠ Muse

Stanley Wheeler-- is an idiot that makes horrible decisions and let's horrible things happen around him. I do not reflect any of the jokes or encounters featured in the gameplay series. I just so happen to enjoy comedy (albeit quite a bit can be not PC) and a good story. Literally this blog came out of a joke my best friend made at 4 am after binging Stan The Water man saying I should make a role play blog for Stanley Wheeler. And so? I did.

Important Note: Activity and response time

Updated: 04/10/2020

I made this blog for myself for fun and the same goes for the people I meet/ interact with. It will be sporadic at best. If I feel like it expect meme or shitpost worthy spamming of the Water Delivery Dad we got but never deserved.

Neither my main nor is Stan a job. Quite bluntly most times when I go inactive I'm literally just doing something else. Anything else.

That ties in to the fact that although I am non selective I am still allowed to say no. And expect reciprocated respect if I say no for ANY reason. I dont owe anyone anything and just like everyone else here this is for fun and enjoyment purposes. This is not our job, and we have nothing forcing us to do this.

But - I am fine with a poke at me and my noggin' every once in a while. I do a lot of things and I cant even remember where I put my vape or phone after 5 minutes. That means I forget. And I do. A LOT. And I can admit that.

MUN & MUSE RULE ZERO: Absolutely no Drama, Vaguing, Callouts, Harassment, Hate or insults/ criticizing on how you THINK the muse I write SHOULD BE.

I'm chill. And I legit hate social confrontation to the point I cry in front of people face to face if it is too much, too hurtful, too angering.

I don't care if someone said something shady our of character that one time or that you think an individual deserves to be directly blasted in front of numerous people.

I dont care if you think that just because I wrote a characters sexual or gender identity outside of what you like.

I dont care how many times you ask or dm me to respond or plot when I had already respectfully declined.

Of course hate and harassment is something I do care for-- because its quite literally just pure toxicity. If you do this you will be ignored and blocked or even reported depending upon when transpired.

All I ask is to be treated kindly in return as I treat everyone until I am given reason not to. That's it. Literally. I am 22 years old and have no patience for any of the aforementioned.

Quite frankly to me it's childish and quite often comedic or petty in my eyes to even have callouts and vauging exist.

I am only addressing this because of the years and various muses canon and original alike I have been harassed for interactions, sent honestly some pretty vile anons, and plenty of messages telling me "X is actually supposed to be gay." Or "no actually they dont like X", I've been called out for literally some of the most childish reasons and my being honest and blunt upset people-- or the word 'No' was not existent in their vocabulary.

And finally-- if for any reason in the RPC someone I am Mutuals/ Mains/ Friends with or just an acquaintance I like talking lore with is involved in any drama I do not want to hear it nor do I care if it does not directly involve me. In fact even then I dont want to unless said person comes to me privately and talks like an adult should rather than throwing a tantrum behind your laptop because someone said an awful word, or beliefs were disliked-- literally any reason or post of a callout. I'm not here for it.

If there is EVER a problem dont be afraid to message me PRIVATELY and talk it out like two mature adults. If I did something to upset you? Let me know I want this blog ESPECIALLY to be for the sake of laughs. Has it been a good month since my last reply? Just send me a lil' hey or just check in. Have I not replied? Its probably just me as the Mun having an awful attention span for anything that isn't hands on.

The Mun:

Look I know the novel above for one singular subject is actually very unfortunately neccessary for me.

My career and as a person have me not only practically programmed but I am openly blunt/ "real" with people.

I am not going to say something you want to hear. You might not like my saying no to a thread but my goal is to be honest and respectful to everyone.

And not only that I'm tired of not covering my ass and trying to pretend this doesn't happen to me behind the scenes or on blast for all to see.

If I plan on sending a private message apologizing for an upsetting subject I wrote of or simply discussing conflicts/ issues privately I hope to god that you who are reading this has the same common courtesy.

Regardless if my blunt sometimes told "Too much" honesty is why I disclose my absolute refusal to negative interactions I really am chill - and occasionally way too excitable or talkative.

I really do love meeting plenty of new people and writers alike in the role playing community as a whole and very much enjoy trying new plots/ ideas out unless it is unreasonable to the plot.

If you wanna just be meme traders for a fellow beloved Fandom or RPC? Ok. I'll try to find some just as good to make the meme trade a fair one.

You wanna make a thread all about how gullible a muse is? Sure!

Maybe even send a thirsty or shitpost worthy ask? 100%

Or do you just have a question about the Muse/Mun/ Or Writing? Go ahead!

I love and live for the angst and self authored stories to Headcanons or missed plot points on muses. The ways so many different types of relationships between characters form and change. But I would also smash the yes button if someone asked me how I felt if someone swung into the ask Simping on lovely Water Boy? Go for it because again; fun. Let's cackle over his style choices or his horribly abused kindess/ trust.

I'm a human guys let's not worry about anything else but the fact we're all here for the same thing: and that's fun and enjoyment as well as having an ability to flex our creative side. It doesnt matter how fantastic or bad (This mun right here) is at edits manips or coding for the theme. We all learn and grow and I just wanna have a good time and I'm sure every normal person that's not a psychopath wants to have a happy healthy safe and fun environment for roleplay/writing.

Thank you for reading this if you did. Any questions? Want Stan to be your water bottle toting and Fanny Pack Efficiency having man get stuck in a plot with your muse? Feel free to hmu send in an ask or meme etc.

I dont bite unless someone bites me with their attitude. I look forward to meeting/interacting/and memeing with everyone.

[teejaydeetrip]

WE LOVE HATE. WE HATE LOVE. WE LOVE LOVE. WE HATE HATE.

For the first time in my entire life, I’ve been really happy lately. I woke up one day, a month ago, and had one of my good days, after dealing with a situation that would usually fuck me up really bad. In a nut shell; I tried to kiss a girl I liked and it didn’t work out but I tried this weird total honesty thing and it was the right person at the right time to make me walk away feeling good and ok about rejection. We still talk.  Instead of just coasting on that good feeling and trying to enjoy my day, I got into D O I N G T H I N G S. I got more involved with a lovely group of activists and together, we helped make a small difference by putting on a big event.  I thought more about girls, because I’m a hopeless romantic who happens to be romantically hopeless. I addressed, internally, some unresolved issues with the way I treated myself and how I reacted to love and sex and admiration and the necessary distinctions between them that I’ve always felt #normalpeople are supposed to have.  I stopped caring so much about the alienation I have felt for a long time from lots of my real friends and embraced the appreciation and love I got from -of all fucking places- a shitposting meme group. The group is a whole other story that deserves it’s own entry so I won’t get into that. But they are literally always there to listen and to listen to and it’s fantastic.

I stepped up my game at the bar I work at and drastically reduced my alcohol intake. 

I started an instagram blog thingy with a friend, and we make stupid, fun, experimental cocktails based on music we love. It’s a weird contradiction to the aforementioned addressing of my alcoholism, whilst embracing a small part of it and using it for good.  I started writing fiction again, and for the first time ever, I truly genuinely love what I’m creating. It’s fucking brilliant. I take pride in that and I can’t wait to show people.  I’ve been putting on some cool little events. They haven’t been successful, but between them, and a few random friends reccomendations, I’ve been llistening, like really listening, to music again. New music. Exciting music. Music is doing that thing to me again where I get little goosebumps sometimes and I scream lyrics out loud while walking around the house. I’m also writing music, which is weird and cool.  But. All this stuff. Has resulted in a severe lack of sleep and a severe lack of proper eating habits. I don’t have the time to sleep or eat, because I’m busy creating. Henry Rollins did this bit once about how the moment he stops working on something, ANYTHING, he just starts negging on himself.  Lots of my friends told me I would burn myself out real quick. But why would I stop, and how can I stop? If I stop, for even one fucking second, I fear I will fall back into nothingness. I need to keep going. But it is killing me and I am feeling it. The burnout is real. How I wish I had the resources Henry does.

The last few weeks have been fuelled by a genuine love for life. And last night, after a little argument with my boss -who I now know see’s me as an incompetent nobody despite all the extra work I put in- the fuse blew. I was fuelled by hate again. I used to thrive on it. And look where that got me? Doing nothing forever. The Anti-Henry. An Ouroboros of hate. I spent my entire walk home from work -my zen time, my singing time- fantasising about accidentally running into two specific people from my past. Either one of them would do. These two people were once good friends, and it turned out they were using me, and they sucked me dry and destroyed my life. I thought about how good it would feel to have them run into me and try to attack me; which they certainly would do if our paths ever crossed.  I thought about S**** or C*** king hitting me in the face and how, yeah, I could probably  take it. I could laugh it off. But what if my laptop broke in the process? Or my phone? What would I do? All my hard work is on these little patchworks of steel and plastic. Maybe if they broke my shit, I would chase them down, I thought. I don’t care how small or weak I am. I would chase them down and I would fucking annihilate them with my fists and my feet and my teeth and my voice and my rage. I would chew the flesh from their fucking faces and pull their teeth out one by one with my fucking fingers and it would feel so goddamn good. I know none of this is real. I know I would never do that. I would go home nursing my broken laptop and never find my “novel” again because I can’t afford a data recovery service. I know I would never do it because it would ruin my life. You don’t live on the razors edge of mental instability like this and truly think you would last a week in a prison or a mental institution. I know I would never do it because as much as I yearn for The Apocalypse, I’m a pacifist and I like seeing people healthy and happy. I woke up feeling like shit today. Because those kinds of thoughts, and the fact that I can think them, they scare me. I want to put it down to primal human nature, but it feels more like narcissistic toxic macho culture or some bullshit.  While I’ve spent the last few weeks fuelled by a love for life and shit, I have still felt hate, and anger and resentment and sadness, but it’s been worth it. The cycle was broken, and a balance was formed, and there was some parts of life worth living. I didn’t think about how sometimes I secretly want other people to hurt as much as I do. People want to talk to me. I refuse to believe them, but lots of people keep telling me I’m actually really great. Which is really nice.  Today, I’m typing this fucking nonsense because I hope it will help me vent my shit. I want to nap. It is way too early for me to be awake. I hope that when I wake up, I can find that perfect balance of hate and love again. Just, y’know, allocate them to the appropriate parts of my mind. I’m gonna nap.  And when I do wake up, I’m gonna smoke a cigarette and if I can, maybe work on that writing. I might even try and believe I am a person of worth. But maybe that’s just wishful thinking. Or narcissism. Or maybe it’s deserved. You can’t not give equal opportunity to any possibility and still have a nap and hope for the best. I feel like that would most certainly be ignorant and antithetical.

[yiqiie]

IDOL PRODUCER S2: E1 THOUGHTS

every week, i’ll sit down and watch the newest episode of Idol Producer Season 2 《青春有你》and write down all my thoughts. nothing get’s left out so get ready for a bunch of memes, shit posts and rants as we get through another season of our fave survival show 

feel free to send me any questions to my inbox and i’ll answer them asap!

a/n: i rarely shitpost on my blog so i think it’s about time i start

start time: 7:39

oKAY S2 LEGGO

can i just say during this ad break that motherfcking goddess jolin is a dance mentor and i just might cry because she literally looks like an angel in every preview i see

and oof my hubby zyx looks good

MILKA CHOCOLATE

we already have the new nongfu vitamin water i’m crying

MORE PRODUCT PLACEMENT

there was a really cute boy wtf i need to know his name

ALSO NEW SET

this set look so much prettier than last season ngl

and while i’m here i’m just gonna say their new uniforms look nicer

i love the darker colour

da chang we’ve missed you

our home away from home ily

ooo damn these slow mo shots

zyx your makeup looks good

can i just say this mentor lineup is LEGENDARY in itself

fck they all look good

okay moving on

are you serious more ad placement

they have a slide up door COME ON THIS IS SO COOL

you’re a cutie i have no idea who you are but i will eventually

the boys saying one lunchbox isn’t enough for them to eat are such a mood

THEY’RE STEALING THE MILK

is it milk or yoghurt  

FCKING CUTIES ILY SOMEONE TELL ME THEIR NAMES

oh jesus they’re loud af

KEEPING IT IN TRADITION I SEE

wait we don’t get to see them choose their seats noooo

mood lighting whoop

damn zyx you’re hitting them with these hard questions already

[a short break while i get some chips]

okay we good leggo

WHO IS THIS BEAUTIFUL BOY TELL ME HIS NAME

the guy who said he was working hard for his mum that was adorable

YIIXNG YOU’RE LOOKING DAMN FINE TODAY

wait why are some people standing outside and some people inside

or are they the same people

what’s going on

damn he really is stricter

ohhh so can they only fit half of the trainees?

i changed my mind the old one was better then lmao

LI RONGHAO WHAT AN ENTRANCE

JOLIN MY GODDESS

LOOK AT THAT SMILE

lol mood 

her shoes omfg i love them

i actually love her accent omg

MC JIN HERE WE GO

THEY REALLY BLURRED OUT THE EARRINGS I CAN SEE IT ON ZYX LMAO

ooo i like the new big ABCDF letters though

wait they got actual chinese singing legends to come do it too????

OACA LEGGO

oh damn those outfits

they forgot to clap omfg they’re so precious ;;;

[another food break soz i made a mango smoothie]

COMPLIMENTING EACH OTHER OMG WHAT A CUTIE

DRINKING THE MILK / YOGHURT LMAO I LOVE HIM

gotta love a slo-mo entrance

DANCING HOLY SHIT

i already forgot the leader’s name but i love him already

I REMEMBER THIS SONG it was maverick’s last season right??

i gotta say i prefer this version so much more

YES HIT THOSE HIGH NOTES BOY

we already know there’s no As at all so

they’ve really upped the standards this time i can feel it

HE CHA XI THAT’S HIS NAME

i’m loving the bro support they already have

HE WAS SO PISSED ABOUT NOT BEING IN THE BIG VENUE LMAOOOO

he’s so cute i love him

giving the heat packs to other people I LOVE HIM MUM

HE’S SO ADORABLE LMFAO

zyx is in love with him already

for someone who’s been training by himself for 2 years holy crap that was good 

HIS BOW AHAHAHHA

lian huai wei i gotta remember these names man

i love how they’re all rooting for each other

YES B YOU GO BABE

he’s affected by zhang pd’s dimples lmao same man

THEY ALL ARE LMFAO WHAT A MOOD

A DIMPLE LIAR LMFAO THIS IS HILARIOUS

a mexican wave holy shit this is adorable

jia yi is fcking adorable oh my jesus his smile i’m in love

also their leader who’s name i’ve forgotten already but visuals wtf

oh damn this song is good

VOCALS YES

also they’re all so tall wtf

okay i think they’re my favourite right now maybe

JIA YI YES YOU GO BABE

LIN MO that’s his name

no don’t cry baby no don’t cry

oh fck i’m crying

no babes you did so well don’t feel bad

HE HAS A BABY DRAGON AHAHAHHA

wtf vocals that was unexpected omg

OMFG HE’S ADORABLE he wants to be with the sheep

wait he’s jia yi too?? oh god

YES B BABE YOU GO

JOLIN IS SO CUTE OMG I LOVE HER SO MUCH

she’s the only one smiling i fcking love her

oh damn casper

did he write that song???? what talent

HE CAN DANCE TOO?

we all know there’s no As so he better be a B

YES BRO HE GOT IT

BANANA TRAINEES YAYYYY

i’ve always loved this song it’s so cute

wang zhe is so cute though omg he doesn’t smile at all

okay i know zyx is going to get a lot of shit for saying what he said about people who haven’t trained for a long time coming on the show to gain popularity but i have to admit that it’s true

companies probably saw how successful s1 was and how many groups were able to debut after it and are sending so many of their new trainees to gain exposure

i can understand why he’s so frustrated because his generation and generations before that were people who would be trainees for like 4+ years and fighting for years beyond that for their first stage and with this program it’s just made it so much easier for people who haven’t had any training at all to get their first stage and debut afterwards with their company

zhang pd is pissed off oh damn

ngl their performance wasn’t that great i will admit but they have potential it just might not be the right place for them to train whilst on a survival show

and what he said about showing your respect for the stage and telling them why you want to be a star was all fair enough and tbh some of their answers weren’t the best

okay some people are pissed off about what he said about people all wanting to be rappers but having to be singers first

maybe s1 wasn’t the best in terms of the debuting group and vocals and rappers all getting A grade

but at least in s2 it’s changed and he’s addressing the fact that people who want to debut in a boy’s group can’t actually sing to begin with and just want to rap their way through

to be in a boy’s group you really need to want it you need to be passionate about your future and you need to first of all love what you do

okay moving on

THEME SONG

okay it’s growing on me ngl

but ei ei is superior forever for sure

OKAY PREVIEW TIME

wait someone smiled at me let me go back

OKAY WHO IS THIS I LOVE HIS SMILE

wait LOVE SHOT??? that was unexpected

argh i love this song so fcking much

finish time: 10:21pm 

that’s all folks; tune in next week for another episode of mai’s shitposting whilst we suffer through another survival show together!