#I’m like TOO pregnant I can’t move properly anymore and everything hurts

[akaashisupremacy]

Fated

Summary: You’re dating your ex-fiancee Gojo again, but your relationship hits a crucial crossroad. Do you stay or do you go?

Gojo Satoru  x reader

Multi-fandom Masterlist || HQ Masterlist || Ao3 version

Genre: fluff, angst, exes to friends to lovers   

“You’re hiding something from me.” Gojo Satoru confronts you as you step onto the hallway for spare rooms in Jujutsu Tech.

He is in your way. You try not to get irritated.

“No, I’m not.” you snap. It’s been a long day. You don’t need this. You push him aside and keep walking. Gojo is irritably good at sniffing things out.

He swiftly appears before you again and blocks your way, “What is it?”

“I missed my period.” You stop and cross your arms, “If you really wanna know.”

“Oh.” He mumbles softly. He looks incredulous, as if he is yet to be sure of what he just heard. You walk past him.

“Oh.” he repeats again, eyes widening as the weight of your words dawn. He turns to you.

You leave him standing there, arrested and head to your room. You’re too tired for this.

Gojo watches you enter your room and lie down. He tries to offer you something to eat since you look so pallid under the fluorescent light of the room.

“I’m not hungry. Just sleepy.” you yawn, waving dismissively.

Gojo feels obligated to stay. He looks at you quietly from the door, unable to leave.

“This really isn’t the most opportune of times,” he breathes in, “but are you seeing anyone else?”

“No.” you murmur, “I don’t have the time.”

He walks in to sit beside you, making sure to close the door behind him. You roll over to the other side of the bed away from his gaze.

Gojo knows he is not an easy person to be with. He’s your ex-fiancée for one thing, and he struggles with monogamy for another.

Being able to be intimate with you again was a chance only the gods could’ve intervened. And now that chance is starting to fade. He lies down beside you, his eyes towards the ceiling. At the start of your relationship, it was him who was hesitant. Things are reversed tonight.

“I don’t want to talk. Go away.” you cut in before he says anything, “I’m seeing a doctor soon to make sure.”

He nods understandingly and quietly, but slowly pads out of the room. The weight of the floor lightly creaks under his footsteps. The silence between the two of you dominates the hall.

————————————————————————————

There was a time when you were younger that you would visit Gojo in his family home. After dinner, you’d sneak outside to his family garden to capture fireflies in paper lanterns.

That was a much different time of course. Since then, you’ve been arranged to be married, broken up and begun precariously seeing each other again after ten years.

“Why are you wading around in the darkness?” he asks, sitting on a pile of rocks, his hands inside his pockets.

Neither of you are really kids anymore, but your fondness for fireflies remains. On your occasional stays in Jujutsu Tech for your sorcery job, you like to spend your down time in the gardens at night.

“I need a break from people.” you comment succinctly.

You’re both quiet from a moment. Gojo becomes too impatient for you to start the conversation.

“So what did the doctor say?” Curiosity overcame him.

You lower your lantern by your side, making sure to face away from him as you reply, “She tried to ask if I was married and if my family knew.”

You turn around quickly, waving your hands before he can react, “You don’t need to worry. I’m considering not keeping it...it’s too much time and work…and it made me think about us. I think we should just end things…whatever this is.”

Gojo knew that this day would come. Deep down, he already prepared himself for when your relationship would end. Yet instead of acceptance, indignance rises in his chest.

“How could you let me go so easily? How are you done with us?” he finds himself saying.

He knew his disinterest in monogamy would come to bite him back someday, but he hadn’t imagined himself in a deeply romantic and emotional relationship with you when it happened.

You shake your head. The sounds of crickets and cicadas keep the silences from being too empty.

“Every year I used to wait to see if this was the year we reconciled. If this was the year we would fix things, not necessarily be lovers, but to just be back in each other's lives.” You look to the stars, sitting in a large rock beside him, “I waited maybe 11 years to see it happen even if I didn’t know if it would come at all. And I can wait another lifetime to try again. But I think in this life, our time has to end. This isn’t going to work out, Satoru.”

Gojo feels as if his lungs will collapse. It hurts him even more to know that you do love him but you’d rather he be out of your life.

“Why would you wait another lifetime for me when I’m here now?” he murmurs.

“I can’t have you to myself.” you say simply, “I can’t take this anymore. Even if I’m not pregnant, I want to be the only one in your life.”

“You are the most important person in my life.” he grabs your hand to reassure you. You don’t resist.

You face him, tears running down your eyes, “Then I don’t understand how you can say that and still need someone else.”

Gojo feels his chest crushed with heaviness. The weight spreads to his back, his arms and neck. For the first time in years, he feels helpless.

“We knew this was coming.” you mutter, pulling your hand away to make your exit out of the garden.

Gojo does not chase after you. He notices his bandages are wet.

————————————————————————

Gojo walks around in a daze for the next few days. People always say that he is a man who has everything, but for now he is the man with only questions without answers.

How can he make you stay?

“Gojo,” Utahime nudge, “GOJO!”

She sharply jabs a finger by his side to bring him back to reality. He jerks back, accidentally hitting the wooden walls of the hallway with a resounding thud.

“Are you even listening to me?” she hisses. He hasn’t been paying attention at the school meeting and her temper is rising. How can he go around doing the bare minimum and still be so praised. She was ready to throw a fit.

“Well…we’re kind of expecting…but we might not keep the baby…and ahh…” he uses his full concentration to string together his thoughts.

Utahime stops in her tracks and rubs her temples. Every other conversation she has with him always sends her reeling.

She crosses her arms together, “Let me guess, one of you wants to keep the kid and the other doesn’t?”

“OMIGOSH YES!” Gojo raises his hands as if someone finally gets him, “How did you know?!”

Utahime looks slightly alarmed at his expression. Protective of your privacy, she looks left and right to see if anybody is nearby. She shrugs.

Gojo continues, “These past few days have made me realize how badly I want a family with them. I really want this! Except it made them realize they want a family with someone else…and I’m not sure there’s anything I can do to make them feel the same way.”

His voice softens towards the end of his sentence as he slowly sinks back into his thoughts.

Utahime takes a moment before dispensing her bit of wisdom.

“Having a child with someone is an incredibly huge sacrifice. If you really want this…then you have to make a sacrifice equal in weight. Whatever that will be…” she sighs, adjusting her kimono. “And I have a feeling you haven’t properly explained to her what an open relationship is.”

She peers at him from the side of her eye. His guilty expression confirms her suspicions.

Every now and then, Utahime feels envious of his power. However, today is not one of those days. He has some hard choices to face she would not want to deal with.

—————————————————————— “Hey!”

A week after your last conversation, Gojo spots you in the school and immediately rushes towards you.

In panic, you shove yourself into an empty meeting room and try to shut the door. He jams his foot between the ledge and determinedly peers you from the door crack.

“Oh no, you are not shutting me out. We are going to talk like proper adults.” he insists.

Your instincts kick in. You kick his feet and push him back. You bolt the door shut and slump down behind it. You’re safe for now.

“You can’t keep running away.” he breathes out from the other side, “We need to talk.”

“There’s nothing to talk about,” you quickly rebut, “Gojo, I have no family. There’s no one to help me. I’m going to be alone if this kid comes out of me.”

Your voice fades hoarsely as you utter the last few words.

“You have me.” his soothes in a contemplative voice.

You want to laugh. This relationship was doomed from the start. You were such a masochist for even trying. You must have been consumed with your attraction to him.

Gojo was no different though— he couldn’t help himself. You both want each other too much and now you both were paying the price.

You shake your head, “You’ll just leave me when things get tough. I’m tired of cleaning after your mess. Why can’t you just let me have my way?”

Gojo has no time to be taken aback.

“Because I don’t want a family with anyone else. I’m desperate to make this work with you.” he pleads, “ Don’t push me away. I have my own doubts about myself, and I understand where you’re coming from but I wish you believed in me more.”

You pretend not to hear him.

“I’ll be here for you and our baby, even if it's not always romantic.” he adds, his voice pleading, “I know you’re terrified that I’ll just leave you but…”

You interrupt him by opening the door. As if on instinct he hides his vulnerability from you. His posture leans back coolly, waiting on your next move.

“Gojo, I’m just frustrated to always be at the mercy of your choices. Don’t you understand?”

His lips part slowly, “If you’re not ready for a family, it’s fine. But don't you want to make this last longer?”

——————————————————

“Oh, Satoru, what have we done?” you quietly murmur, staring at the ceiling of his room.

It’s your first night in his faculty dormitory. You’ve never really been before. His room is too close to the principal’s for a casual date night visit.

Gojo’s long switched off the lights but neither of you can sleep.

“What do you mean? The baby or the wedding?” he chuckles.

You shrug, “Both?”

You shift around the sheets, the linen ruffling under your movement.

He crosses his arms and turns to you, “Well, we’ve established that the first one was an accident. The wedding—well—it’s mostly so you and the baby will be under the protection of the Gojo clan.”

Gojo promised to close his open relationship status until your kid is one and you take his word for it. It is perplexing that the wedding was his idea too. However there was something about his sincerity that you could not refuse

“How long till we regret all this?” you half-murmur, half-sigh.

“Honestly, probably every time we hit a rough patch. But we’re not meant to always be happy anyways.” he sighs lying on his arm. It’s an honest enough answer.

You sit up and put your arms around your waist, “Such optimism you have there. So tell me, oh all powerful Satoru, why are we here then?”

“For me, it's to be able to find and meet you.” he says simply.

He catches you off guard with the tenderness of his words. You reach out to touch the side of his face and gently rub your thumb on his cheek. He presses your hand on his cheek.

“If things fell apart again and you had to wait another ten years for us to fix it, would you?”

He asks so quietly you almost don’t hear him.

Your face flushes under the cover of darkness.

“…Yes, I love you too much. This was never going to be just an arranged marriage for me even when we were younger…then again, I think you already know that.” you admit in a shaky whisper.

Now that you've married him, you've given yourself permission acknowledge your true feelings to yourself. You have always been in love with him. And being apart did not changed that.

Propping himself up by the elbow, you realize his face is so close to yours. You can almost feel the wisps of his long lashes on your cheek.

“I know this isn’t your ideal wedding, but this is more than just a shotgun marriage for me too. You are my fated. And you are the only being I want to go through this with—sorcerer, curse or otherwise.”

You try not to giggle at the mention of curses.

“Through this life and the next?” you said with a small smile.

“Through this life and the next.” he assures firmly, squeezing your hand.

You smile widely and he looks at you fondly. These are your favorite moments with him, when you’re at the brink of losing each other in your gazes.

Gojo breaks your shared reverie.

“Can you kiss me?” he grins cheekily, “As your new husband…”

You kiss his forehead without skipping a beat. He flips over, still propping himself by his stomach.

“So what shall we do on our wedding night? Try for twins?” he smirks.

You roll your eyes extra hard to make sure he sees it. Gojo only laughs.

He shuffles out of bed and tosses you your coat, “Well if you really can’t sleep, we might as well go out and see the fireflies. They look bright tonight.”

You put on your coat and smile.

Another lifetime is too far away.

--------------------------------------------------------------------

I wrote this as a follow up for another Gojo x reader fic who used to be engaged. Check out the other parts!

Part 1 || Part 2 || Part 3 || Part 4 || Part 5 || Part 6 || Part 7 || Part 8 

A/N: When I first wrote the original four chapters, I had already know that this was how the series would end (even though I didn't plan to write it all the way here). I don't know if I will continue writing. I have some extra material, but I don't really know if I'd like to write it out. If I ever make up my mind to do so, you will see me pop up in your notifs. 

If not, I guess this is the end. if you've gone through all 8 chapters, thank you for joining me in this wild, heartfelt ride! Comment or message to be added to the taglist! Or write down some comments about your feelsssss

Series Taglist: @tokyo-love-hotel@samkysnks@herownescape@cherrianne192@shamelessdonutsludgebanana@kageyamakock@shirostrbl@luvang3l@cloudsinthecosmos@httpjungoo @saturnki  @itstheee-ha-chan@gucci-froggy@soy1melk @dora-the-grownup @cherryonigiri @fiona782 @a--nonymousse @naturakaashi

If you’d like to continue being part of my taglist (JJK or Haikyuu), please let me know! I also write oneshots for both fandoms and soon I’ll be doing BSD too!

[thewritetofreespeech]

Hello! This is a funny yet cute thought that came to mind but can I request head cannons of the Brothers and Nowdateables reacting to an Mc that was actually pregnant throughout the program?

She wasn’t showing at first but as the months go by, her stomach is larger as well as her noticeably odd cravings and waddle. So when asked who the dad is or if it happened through the program, she’s like “I was already pregnant and there is no father, I’m inseminated. I’ve always wanted to be a Mom.”

As her stomach shows, she doesn’t mind letting the boys touch her stomach and feel the kicks, attend baby checkups with her, etc. Until God forbid being with her when her water breaks and she goes into labor during RAD or at one of Diavolo’s parties. It’s up to you if you want this to be romantic (For the Brothers + Datables w/o Luke to see the baby as their own child) or platonic for all of them and be protective uncles + Brother to the child.

I debated not doing this one. Not because I didn’t like it, but because I was nervous about all the Obey me baby requests I’m probably gonna get now. LOLOLOLOL XD

Obey me Boys + Pregnant!MC

Lucifer

Disappointed in himself for not knowing about this before hand. It should have been in your file, but he also should have done his due diligence in vetting you.

Once he’s made aware, he takes great care to make sure you’re taken care of.

No highly strenuous activities. No stress. Well balanced meals and soft surroundings.

Schedules and goes to all your doctor’s appointments with you. Takes notes.

Has a trust set up for you & the baby to make sure you’re taken care of for the rest of your lives

Nervous about holding the baby at first, after it’s born, but gets used to it.

Mammon

Shocked when you first tell him, and scared

He’s “Baka-mon” after all. He doesn’t want to accidently hurt you or the baby.

Works really hard to be better for the both of you. No more yelling. No more gambling or late nights. He does all his work on time and some of yours too.

Loves to rest his head on your stomach and feel the baby move.

100% the one that gets the an expensive crib, designer clothes, and a Waterford crystal bear for the baby when it’s born.

Wants the baby to call him “Uncle Mammon” when they can talk. If not Dad

Levi

Nervous. What’s he gonna do with a baby?? Or a pregnant MC???

Tries to stay away from you as much as possible. Something he feels bad about, but he’s just scared of doing something wrong.

Also, not gonna lie, he’s a little jealous that you’re having someone else’s baby. Even if it is from a donor. (avatar of envy ladies and gentleman)

Reads a lot of Slice of Life family manga to be more prepared and in tune with this new ‘family friendly’ genre he’s found himself in

Puts his headphones on your stomach and plays music for the baby, because he read that they can hear it

Nicknames the baby ‘chibi-chan’ after they are born, because they are so small

Satan

Not sure why you were keeping it a secret, or agreed to come to the Devildom if you were pregnant, but handles the news rather well.

Immediately looks into every book on the subject. ‘What to Expect When You’re Expecting’, pregnancy health books, child rearing.

He wants to be informed so he can help you with this process

Makes all your favorites when he’s on kitchen duty. Takes over your days so you can rest more

Incredibly impressed with how well your managing being pregnant, school, and well.....them all at the same time.

Buys every children's book he comes across for the baby when he sees them. They’ll have a library as big as his by the time they can read.

Asmo

Actually really loves babies. They are the product of love, which he is all for. And they’re so cuuuuute!

Immediately offers to take you maternity clothes shopping. Every time you need new clothes.

Decorates your room and the nursery for the baby so it’s a warm, inviting space for the both of you.

Always ready to pamper or give the expecting mother a spa day when she needs it

Desperately tries to have their first word be “Asmo”

Beel

He’s very happy for you. If this is what you want, and you’re following your dream, he’s happy for you and to help wherever he can

King of the weird food craving brigade. He’ll bring you whatever you want, any time you want. He’s probably hungry too anyway

Extremely protective of you. He was already, but now that he knows you have a defenseless life in your body he’ll do anything to keep you safe.

Often decides that walking is too strenuous for you, and carries you around school or House of Lamentation

Best baby sitter. I voted. No take backs.

Belphie

Not the biggest fan of the news.

Babies are loud, and need a lot of attention. And he’s the baby of the family so there can’t be two of them

Tries to be supportive, but it is a struggle for him. I mean...there’s nothing he can do so might as well get on board.

Gives you one of his old blankets to have as the baby blanket. It’s very sentimental

When the baby is born, his attitude changes. He’ll murder anyone who gets too close to the baby or even look at them too long. He’s like one of those cats that curl up with newborns and swat at anyone that gets too close while they are sleeping.

Solomon

Surprised to hear that you are pregnant, but wishes you well all the same

He’s not exactly thrilled you’re having another man’s baby. But you made the decision before you met, so what’s done is done.

Mixes you up a lot of morning sickness relief and joint pain potions to help with your pregnancy

Creates an ever lasting, floating mobile of stars for the baby’s room. Along with protection spells out the wazoo

Decides he will make the baby his new apprentice in magic. When they’re older.

Simeon

Elated to hear the good news!

A new precious life in the world. What could be better than that?

Always ready to help with anything you need. Shopping, cooking, helping to relax, or even just to talk, he’s there

First to buy the baby there own Baby Book, to record all it’s precious first moments and photographs

Petitions on high to be the child’s official Guardian Angel

Luke

He obviously has no experience with this, so he’s interested in where babies come from

Also eager to help. He’s always been the youngest angel, so he’s never had the opportunity to help care for someone else. He really likes the idea of being a ‘big brother’ figure.

Asks a lot of questions. Like....a lot of questions.

Bakes a lot of sweets for you so you can be happy and make sure you’re eating properly

FINALLY! He’s not the smallest anymore!!

Diavolo

Thinks it’s wonderful!

Children are the future. Plus, he is fascinated by human breeding. (not in a creepy way just as a general interest in all things human)

Loves seeing your body grow and change throughout your pregnancy. Is always eager to touch your stomach

Anything you need is yours. Diavolo personally sees to it

Calls your child his little ‘prince or princess’. No matter if you’re romantically involved or not.

Barbatos

Given that he can see the future, he knew that you were pregnant before you told anyone

Puts you on a strict regiment of healthy foods & diet once, you’ve announced it, to make sure you’re getting proper nutrition

Also sneaks in some sweets now & then. He’s a demon, not a monster.

Handles everything from setting doctors appointments to getting the nursery organized for the baby’s arrival

His life’s mission is to make sure you and the baby are cared for. Next to his prince, you two are his top priority now.

[animeomegas]

Pregnant!Omega!Sasuke Headcanons

Anon:  How about omega Sasuke being pregnant with an over protective mate?

@hakunamatatayqueen​:  Ooh ooh could I request some fluffy pregnant omega sasuke headcanons?👀 this baby deserves so much love and happiness omg pLz I love him so much- AND GOOD LUCK WITH UR WORK DARLING I’m in the same situation😔 so take your time and no worries🖤

(Sasuke is so popular on this blog haha! I thought I would combine these requests because they work so well together <3 Also, yes, I just want good things for Sasuke. He was screwed over so much throughout his life and I just want to make it better :( Thank you for the well wishes on my work, it’s not been fun to start university during a pandemic haha. I still haven’t met any classmates or teachers in person rip. I hope your work goes well too! I decided to write this because I already had a lot written already haha. Enjoy!!)

Warnings: Mpreg, swearing, mental breakdown, morning sickness mention ((and non-graphic description) I talked around it because I’m emetophobic haha)

There is very little in the world that Sasuke hates more than being pregnant. 

He doesn’t just find the experience unpleasant, he hates it.

He feels trapped and uncomfortable all the time.

Too hot and too cold constantly.

He feels weak and useless and at the mercy of his instincts.

And that’s not even mentioning the horrible morning sickness, paranoia and mood swings.

He wanted to revive his family so badly, but the realities had him regretting his decision more than once, even if he was happy in the end.

This is the time in Sasuke’s life that he needs the support of his alpha the most.

Sasuke will refuse to get pregnant a second time. No exceptions.

He would get sterilised as soon as was safe after he had given birth.

TRIMESTER 1:

During his first trimester, Sasuke tries his hardest to carry on as normal. 

I cannot tell you how many times you have to stop him from training so he doesn’t hurt himself or your pup.

He was also miserable when he was banned from taking any more missions.

He’s pretty good about going to his doctor’s appointments though and has no problem going to them alone if you’re busy.

He suffers from morning sickness during this time. An omega’s morning sickness can be helped with the scent of their alpha, so you end up spending lots of time scenting him when he feels awful.

Sasuke doesn’t tell many people that he’s pregnant and doesn’t like other people cooing over him. You get permission but he’ll act like he doesn’t enjoy it.

Sasuke has a very strong nesting urge from day 1, and he never thinks his nest is good enough. He spends a lot of time buying new materials for his nest, rearranging things and scenting everything. You are very lucky that Sasuke was the sole inheritor of all the Uchiha wealth with how many nesting supplies he buys. 

You hovered uncomfortably outside the bathroom door, listening to your mate be violently ill in the early hours of the morning. He didn’t want you in there with him but your alpha was running in circles, desperate to help your mate somehow.

Eventually the sounds from the bathroom ceased. You waited for a moment before hesitantly knocking on the door. 

“Sasuke?” You called out. “Can I come in?”

You heard a grunt that you decided to take as a positive response.

Swinging open the door, you let out a sigh and a quiet whine. 

Sasuke was slouched on the floor, draped part way over the toilet. He looked pale and exhausted. 

“Oh, baby.” You sighed, moving towards his shivering form.

“Go away.” He grumbled, resting his head on his arms. “It’s gross.”

You ignored him, crouching down to sit on the floor and shifting to sit behind him. You sat flush against his back, wrapping your arms gently around his waist. You started to release a gentle scent to help him with the nausea.

Sasuke took a few deep breaths before slumping back against you.

You cradled him as gently as you could, wiping his hair back from his sweat soaked forehead. 

“Feeling better?” You whispered into his ear, rubbing soothing circles on his small baby bump. 

Sasuke hummed, eyes already closed, nuzzling into your neck. He lifted a hand and latched onto the sleeve of your shirt, seemingly unaware of what he was doing. 

You looked down at his exhausted form, clinging onto you in ways he would never normally let himself do, and you made a decision. 

“I’m not going into work today.” 

Sasuke’s eyes flew open at your words.

“No.” He scoffed. “You don’t need to stay here for me, I’m absolutely fine.”

He started trying to get up but you pulled him back against you, raising an eyebrow at his words.

“I want to stay, Sasuke.” You scented him some more, just in case any nausea still remained. “Think you can move back to bed?”

Sasuke hesitated. You waited patiently for his answer, rubbing small circles on his hips.

“I want...” Sasuke started, blushing. “I think I want to go to my nest.”

“That sounds like an excellent idea, omega. Do you want me to join you?”

“Please.” He whispered, embarrassed. 

You helped him stand up from the bathroom floor and went to spend the rest of the day cuddled up in his nest.

TRIMESTER 2:

During trimester 2 Sasuke begins to show. He doesn’t get many stretch marks because his stomach is pretty small (but still healthy).

His mood swings start to get pretty extreme from this point.

Sasuke is very clingy and he gets frustrated when you have to leave him for too long. When you do leave him he gets cold or angry and always kicks you out of his nest for a day.

Sasuke starts to leave the house less and less in his second trimester. This is for many reasons. Firstly, he hates the attention he gets and doesn’t want to risk running into anyone he knows. He just doesn’t want to deal with it. Secondly, he gets a little paranoid about someone hurting his pup. You’re not really sure when those feelings start because he keeps them to himself, but when you find out you’re very worried.

To deal with it, you convince him to go on walks and dates with you outside the house. With you there, his anxiety is lessened, and it helps him cope with the paranoia.

Sasuke starts to develop cravings during this period. No one is surprised that he now wants tomatoes for every meal and snack. Every market day, you bring a huge bag and just clear out every tomato there. Sasuke refuses to cook when he’s pregnant so you end up cutting so many tomatoes over the duration of his pregnancy. 

Finally, during his second trimester, Sasuke starts to be satisfied with his nest. And then subsequently spends every moment he can buried inside it. His nest is his safe space and putting him in there is a fool proof strategy to calm him down or ease discomfort.

You sat with Sasuke in his nest, watching him fuss over some pillows in the corner. He was wearing an oversized shirt, but you could still see his pregnant tummy pressing against the fabric when he moved in a certain way. You couldn’t resist.

Leaning over to him, you pushed up his shirt and uncovered his bump. You nuzzled into his stomach, pressing kisses into his skin as you went. You giggled against him when he froze.

Sasuke stiffened and then pushed your face away firmly. You fell backwards gently, knocking over a blanket that Sasuke had pinned to the wall. You both looked at each other in silence for a moment before Sasuke huffed in displeasure.

“You ruin everything in here, I don’t know why I let you in.” He growled, moving over to that corner to try and fix it. 

You looked at him, playfully betrayed.

“You pushed me!”

“Because you deserved it, idiot.” Sasuke scoffed.

You pouted at him in reply, watching as he easily reattached the blanket.

“Are you mad at me?” You fake whined, opening your arms out for a hug.

“Tch,” He blushed, accepting your embrace. “Just don’t do it again.”

“I won’t.” You crooned, nuzzling him furiously. Sasuke accepted the affection with no complaint. He must be more tired than you thought.

You both dozed peacefully in each others embrace, basking in the comfort of Sasuke’s nest and the pleasant mingling of your scents.

Until Sasuke swore suddenly, pulling himself out of your arms and scaring you half to death. 

“What is it? What’s wrong?” You panicked, hands flailing in an attempt to figure out what was wrong with him. 

“Foot cramp.” Sasuke grunted between clenched teeth, hands starting to massage at his foot awkwardly. He couldn’t reach comfortably around his bump. 

“Here, let me.” You quickly moved to sit at his feet, gently massaging while Sasuke let out pained hisses. You kept going until Sasuke had fully relaxed back into the pillows of his nest. 

“Fucking foot cramps.” Sasuke sighed, pulling you back towards him, and trying to position you both back into your original position. Scarcely a few moments had passed before Sasuke groaned again. 

“Now they decides to wake up.” He grumbles, shifting to lift up his shirt.

You watched in awe as your pup began to kick. 

“This never gets old.” You whispered. “I can’t believe that’s our pup in there.”

“I wish they’d let me sleep.” Sasuke grumbled, a fond smile on his face nevertheless. 

“Get comfortable and I’ll try to soothe the pup. Try to get some sleep, omega, you deserve it.”

TRIMESTER 3:

This is where Sasuke’s mental state starts to decline. 

He has a very strong flight reflex when he gets overwhelmed, but obviously he can’t run away from being pregnant, so this just makes him more distressed. 

Sasuke is a very light sleeper generally, and being pregnant means he is rarely comfortable enough to sleep properly, and sleep deprivation makes everything worse.

Sasuke ends up having so many breakdowns that he needs someone with him at all times to make sure he won’t accidentally hurt himself or the pup when he’s not in a good headspace.

Sasuke ends up being induced early to end the severe mental strain he is under.

You watched sadly as Sasuke sobbed pitifully on your bed. You had tried to help, but he threw a fit when you tried to touch him. 

“I don’t want this anymore.” He sobbed. “I can’t-I can’t sleep, I’m too hot, everything hurts, I’m useless!” His hands started to shake.

“No, no, no, sweetheart.” You rushed over to him. “You’re okay, we’ll make it okay.”

“I want to get them out!” His hands started to twitch.

You intervened immediately, shifting his hands away from his stomach, just in case. Sasuke started to sob into your arms.

“Shh, omega.” You scented him, desperate to calm him down. You felt so powerless. “Do you want to come with me to your nest? Would that help?”

Sasuke shook his head desperately. “Too hot.”

You had an idea. 

“A bath then? A nice cool one. I’ll join you and wash your hair for you, yes?”

Sasuke didn’t respond, but you made the decision for him.

Ten minutes later, you were lowering him into a cool bath, and climbing in behind him. Sasuke slumped against you, exhausted after his breakdown. You welcomed him into your embrace, running cool fingers up and down his arms.

“Better?” You whispered.

“Yeah.” He croaked back. “Sorry.”

“S’alright, my love. Just relax.”

You tenderly washed his hair for him, careful to keep shampoo out of his eyes. You smiled when Sasuke started to purr as you massaged his head, relieved that he was feeling better.

You then wiped him down with a cool flannel. When Sasuke began to shiver, you pulled the plug and helped him out of the bath. You dried his hair for him and fetched him an oversized shirt to wear. It was when you were entering back into the room that you suddenly remembered something.

“Oh, I totally forgot.” You leant down and pulled a long, thin pillow out from under your bed. “I bought this today.” You held it up for him to see. “It’s supposed to help you sleep when you’re pregnant.”

Sasuke took the pillow. 

“How does it work?”

You laid him down and helped position the pillow, making sure to wrap it under his bump to support him. When you were done, it was immediately obvious that Sasuke was comfortable. He went boneless against the pillow, eyes already drooping, the dark circles under his eyes suddenly more apparent.

You slid into bed beside him, careful not to crowd and overheat him. Instead, you took his hand in yours, rubbing the back with your thumb.

“We’ll go to the hospital tomorrow.” You began. “See if they can induce you early.”

“’kay.” He replied, half-asleep.

You pressed a gentle kiss against his mating mark.

“Sleep tight, my omega.”

[jamesandthedog]

I think it’s still @blitheringmcgonagall ‘s birthday where she lives so happy birthday you vaguely shining light of my life! No present could express how glad I am to have you as a friend, but have a little bit of fast written and very unedited Jily:)

Stuffed in Sirius’ drawer

James remembered Lily’s voice and how her hand felt wrapped around his own. At least he thought it was her hand. He remembered seeing the familiar features of his best friend hovering high above him and he thought he had heard voices. He may have slept somewhere between those thoughts, he wasn’t sure. Everything felt a little groggy, dream-like, just like the pain he remembered vaguely in the back of his mind, or those white-clothed witches and wizards he thought he’d seen walk by.

When he really put his mind into it, he could remember fighting Death Eaters near Portobello Road, but now it all seemed fuzzy. It had been late evening, but it wasn’t dark anymore. Where was he?

“James, are you awake?”

There was the voice again, her voice. This was James’ favourite dream, the one were Lily talked to him. Sometimes it was just a voice, sometimes a touch or blurry outlines of her face disappearing before he could quite see them. Though now something in this drowsy state of mind felt different, as if she was closer.

When James tried really hard, he could imagine Lily was holding his hand with both of hers, sitting beside a hospital bed. The image was shattering, there was too much light and he thought she looked tired, worried.

“Great. We’ve wanted him to shut up for years and this is when he decides to listen.”

“Shut up, Sirius,” Lily said and it came out almost as a cry.

“He’s going to be alright,” said a third voice, more soothing.

Remus, James realised.

This dream felt more real than the ones before.

“Stop pissing her off, Padfoot,” James muttered.

He heard Sirius laugh. Maybe he heard Lily whisper a Muggle prayer.

It took James some time to open his eyes and realise that Lily really was there. He couldn’t see her properly, he didn’t have his glasses on, but she was there, smiling, her lips kissing his fingers. Then he saw Remus, one hand on Lily’s shoulder as if he’d been massaging her shoulder to calm her down. Sirius was on the other side of the bed, leaning on the window frame, looking like he hadn’t had a shower in days.

“Should’ve known you’d come back from death just to defend Lily,” Sirius said.

James smiled.

“How are you?” Lily asked, placing his glasses on his face and kissing his forehead.

James thought about it. He felt a little sore, not much.

“You’re in St Mungo’s. You’ve been passed out for three days,” Remus added as Sirius walked on the edge of the bed.

That explained the bandages. Three days? Had they given him a sleeping potion? Shit. He moved a little and his whole body ached, making him grimace. Shit.

“Never better,” he smiled.

Lily took a long, shaky breath. James looked at her, and now that he was able to see her clearly, he could see she was upset. She had tears in her eyes. It felt was worse than the actual aching in his chest. James squeezed her hand that was still holding his.

“Good. You really scared Lily,” Sirius grinned.

“Scared me?” Lily scoffed. “You were the one considering going back to your parent’s house to do research on dark magic in case we needed to bring James back from the death!”

“I’d say it’s fair to say you scared all of us,” Remus concluded. “If Peter wasn’t on Order duty, he’d be here to worry over you too.”

James looked at them. He could see the worry boiling in Lily, and he knew Sirius could act calm but the idea of losing any one of his friends got to him. Remus was probably the most sensible one when it came to death, he’d given the idea some thought a long before the war started. He’d probably been the one to guide the others through the past three days, and James didn’t think he could even thank Remus enough for doing so.

“So… You all got out of there unharmed? What happened?” James asked.

Lily bit her lip. She didn’t look at him.

“Snivellus hit you with that curse. Remember the one that cut you at school?” Sirius said, anger in his voice. “Only he’s gotten better at it because it wasn’t just a cut of two, you were bleeding all over. And you know how Bella gets, I couldn’t get to you past her and fucking Snape.”

Lily looked down at their hands and took a long breath collecting herself. James hated putting her through this. Whatever Snape did wasn’t her fault. James squeezed her hand.

“I managed to disparate you, but that was after Snape had thrown a Crusiatus at you,” Lily said quietly. “It took ages for the heelers to stop the bleeding.”

“Your girlfriend hasn’t left the hospital since. And neither has Padfoot,” Remus concluded.

James took a breath and nodded. That explained why he felt his whole body ache. James remembered some of it now. Battling against Snape, the man had sought him out like he always did when he couldn’t see Lily around.

“Thanks. For getting me out of there and, everything,” James said, looking at each of them.

“Thanks for not dying,” Sirius shrugged.

“Me, shutting up for live?” James asked remembering the first words he’d heard Sirius speak. “No way I’d give you the pleasure.”

“I’d hit you if you weren’t looking so crappy already, you know?” Sirius grinned.

“Can I… Can we have a moment?” Lily asked, looking at the two boys.

Remus nodded. “Yeah. I’ll take Sirius home so you can talk. That mutt needs a bath anyway.”

They left, and James was left with Lily. Now that the others were gone she had hard time keeping her eyes dry.

“Hey, I’m here. I’m okay,” James said, bringing her hand to his lips and kissing her palm. “Are you okay?”

A sob escaped her lips, but she nodded, pressing her lips together.

“If you ever – EVER – scare me like that again I swear I-“ Lily started.

“Showcase your Muggle swearwords?” James raised a brow as he interrupted her. He loved listening her swear the Muggle way with all her Gods and Christs.

“Don’t start joking mister couldn’t-wake-up-for-three-days,” Lily snapped, but he knew she was relieved to hear him being back to his joking self. “Besides you told me you’d always win him in a battle!”

He had sworn that not too long ago, when Lily had witnessed Snape seeking James out in a battle two times in a row. It had happened earlier too, and James had a feeling Snape only did it when he thought Lily wasn’t around. But she had caught up to it, so James was forced to talk to her about it. He didn’t want her to worry, and honestly he was better at combat, so he had told her she didn’t need to worry about it.

“I’m sorry,” he said softly, apologetically.

“I don’t need you to be sorry, I need you to stay alive, you idiot!”

She was sobbing now through the anger and yelling. James tried to sit up, but it was too fast and hurt his chest where Snape’s first curse had hit him. Lily stood up to stop him, but he got up sitting anyway, this time slowly. He pulled Lily closer by the hand until he could hug her. It wasn’t a full hug, not the type of warmth and comfort he was able to give when his chest wasn’t covered in wounds.

Lily cried, her tears wetting the skin on James’ neck as his fingertips draw calming patterns on her back.

“I am alive. I’m not going anywhere,” he hushed, pressing a kiss into her neck.

“You better not,” Lily said. “I’m pregnant.”

James’s fingers stopped petting her back. He let the air escape his lungs and pulled back just enough to see her face, it still hurt but it was the fastest thing on his mind.

“You what?” He asked, wiping a tear from her cheek.

“You heard me, Potter,” she said with defiance in her voice.

James snorted at it and glanced somewhere above just to take time to comprehend it. It was definitely not something they had been planning. They had been careful. Except maybe… Well, they may have not always waited quite as long as they should have after Lily took the potion preventing this sorts of thing from happening.

“And I’m keeping it so you better not die on us,” Lily added when James looked at her again.

It was a war and bringing a child into that certainly didn’t seem like a responsible thing to do. But when he looked at Lily, he knew what he had known for years. He wanted her. The chaos of war had only made him more certain of it. He hadn’t dare to dream of live after war for quite some time, but there had always been that distant idea of creating a family with her. Their little life together.

James nodded, giving her a smile. “Can you send an owl to Pads?”

Lily raised her eyebrows.

“You really want to write Sirius a letter right now?”

“I need him to bring me something,” James smiled.

“I tell you I’m pregnant and the only comment I get is your need to write to Sirius?”, she asked.

James rolled his eyes and kissed her softly.

“Fine,” he gave up on the letter and brushed a strand of hair from her face. “But if this is going to be very lame because I can’t even get off the bed, you’re the one to blame.”

“James? That makes literally no sense,” Lily frowned. “Are you alright? I’m going to call a heeler.”

James laughed and kissed her again before she had time to move away from him.

“No,” he shook his head and kissed her once more, slowly, bringing his hand in her neck. “I just mean, I’ve wanted to do this for a long time. And I can’t promise you I won’t ever die. But I swear I’ll do anything to keep us all safe. I can’t get on one knee-“

“James what-“

“And the ring is stuffed in Sirius’ drawer –“

“James-“

“I fucking love you, Evans-“

“Oh my god.”

“I love your laughter. I love your fierceness. I love your wit. I love how big heart you have. I loved to wake up to your voice today. I love everything about you, even the things that annoy me. And I��m not saying this just because you’re pregnant. Will marry me, Evans?”

There were tears in Lily’s eyes again. His hands had moved to cup her face as he’d spoken and she was holding onto his wrists. He tried to read her expression but he was too nervous to catch her thoughts just by reading her.

“You have a ring stuffed in Sirius’ drawer?” She asked.

“He said I should commit to a ring at least for three months before chaining myself for life.”

“How long has it been there?”

“Around two months.”

Lily nodded. “He’s going to be pissed.”

James raised his eyebrows. “Yeah?”

“Yeah,” she smiled.

“You’re really going to marry me, Evans?”

“I’m really going to marry you, Potter,” she laughed, and pulled him gently closer, pressing her lips on his.

In that moment James was sure no death eater, not even Voldemort could stop them from winning the war. He had simply too much to live for. So he kissed her back, and felt nothing but utter joy until twenty minutes later when the tiredness took over his aching body and he fell asleep smiling.

[organic-guacamole]

episode 209 spoilers below

I'm so late today but here it is

I love EJ, he's finally learning to be happy. I'm so proud.

Ms Jenn = every boomer during zoom calls, like jeez yes we can hear you stop shouting at me.

LOVE THE SUBTLE JOKE ABOUT QUARANTINE "these dark times" "you mean spring break?"

ah yes, remember when we thought covid was just gonna give us a longer spring break? good times

SEBLOS

damn the passive aggressiveness from Carlos and the absolutely over it tone from seb✋

CASWELL COUSINS!!!!! THEY'RE THE BEST!!!!

we needed more if this kind of goofiness for the first part of season 2 that only such an iconic duo can provide.

old old movies-

is it even that old, or is Nini being a gen alpha rn-

i choose to imagine EJ being scared of the movie and hiding in Ashlyn's shoulder while she keeps a straight face and then EJ pretending to be tough afterwards

aww redlyn are soulmates.... yknow, if gingers had souls

(please ignore me)

y'all saw how EJ's face *lit up* when Gina logged on? how dare you tell me he doesn't like her

ofc she's no damsel in distress, she's Gina porter, she's amazing.

so do we think she'd be the type to just glare at suspicious people? or bark at them

do they not know that Rini broke up? or is Ms Jenn just wanting Nini to suffer through her heartbreak to make her a better actress....

speaking of, why is Nini in the call? she's not in the show anymore. Unless she is, even after the rose and the song got cut, which would be so unfair to all those that auditioned properly before she even came back but whatever, she's the main character I get it 🙄

big red is a hero honestly, Nini better thank him for changing the subject like that

I can't-

i won't work you over the break-

this woman would 100% work her kids 24/7 if it was legal and idk how to feel about it.

YES GINA USE THAT CHARM

QUEEN

FRENCH QUEEN

SHE LEARNT FROM THE BEST (antoine obvi)

smh the airport lady, eavesdropping on Gina's call.

The way she was so happy to answer EJ's call, "eej"

I love them your honour.

EJ WITH PAINTED NAILS YES PLEASE

great now we need to see Gina, Ashlyn and EJ having a complete spa day and EJ getting really into it and Gina and Ashlyn take pictures of him when he's laying down in a robe with a mask and cucumbers on his eyes.

finally we get to see Gina's side of portwell

the way she considered it as flirting, this is the sign she asked for in episode 6 come onnnnn

no is Asher/jack really doing tiktok dances in an airport-

Ricky is me. I am burrito.

oh Lynne, sweetie, I'm sorry but the blonde hair is not it

is that even the same lady or-

THE BEAN

THE CHICAGO BEAN

THE BIG OLD METAL BEAN IN THE MIDDLE OF THE CITY 😭

jetlag is my go to excuse for anything... I haven't travelled in 2 years.

"welcome to the Lynne and Mike gossip show. where we talk about our depressed son that we both neglect in certain ways! And now a word from our sponsor, Nord VPN..."

SO MANY CANDLES

WHAT DEMON IS LYNNE TRYING TO SUMMON IN HIS ROOM-

is Nina becoming social media obsessed EJ from season 1? AND SHE LIED ABOUT HAVING SONGS TOO PLEASE WHY ARW THEY RECYCLING THE SAME PLOT-

Gina smiling at the picture of her family on Instagram makes me so happy, idek why.

EJ's nails are so pretty, we needed to see it more (unless he had it on for the rest of the episode and I just.... didn't notice🧍��‍♀️)

oh not the tiktok kid✋

yes ma'am end this strange mans whole tiktok career

sir take a hint and leave

GINA NO DONT SAY YOUR LAST NAME HE COULD BE A HUMAN TRAFFICKER

Ricky, walking in style✨

weird kid, ok then Lynne, can't you see he's this close to the edge?

not all your fault baby Ricky, Nini sucks a bit more

RICKY YOU DIDN'T COME DOWN HARD ON THE SONG-

YOU ASKED WHAT IT WAS ABOUT AND SHE SHUT YOU DOWN-

PLEASE DO NOT BLAME YOURSELF

ok but the deleting comment thing was very bad

still don't know if I like Jack honestly

hmmm so Nini's calling herself Nini instead of Nina in her little egg seat, while trying to write a song without inspiration.... Nini, honey, Ricky was your muse, he inspired you to write all those songs, even if it wasn't good for the relationship.

that doesn't mean you gotta get back with him, or that you can't write a song that not about him butttt it'll take some time

the rainbow sticker in her box and her rainbow shirt-

anyways wbk she's not totally straight

Jack are you a criminal?

quick, Gina, check his ankle for a tracker

THE YES AND PRACTICE STRIKES AGAIN

the way Gina wasn't into it in episode 6 but she's used the technique twice now

stole her grandma's Pomeranian-

Jack where the hell did you pull that out from-

the fake crying killed me, that looks like so much fun though

anyone wanna raid a first class lounge with me?

wait so is jack not gonna go in with her?

wouldn't he go in too? help look for the credit card? SO CONFUSED

the first class lounge guy was so into the drama though, watch his face when they start arguing 😭

sorry to break this to you Kourtney, but you haven't even blocked the second act yet soooo...

take that as you will

I love how all of them are totally dissing the dance off

that's the most realistic part of this show tbh

shouldn't Nini have asked how she knew....since the start? why is the fact that her best friend has knowledge of a North high secret now dawning on her...

Howie is sweet honestly, at least he's trying to help. but I stand with Kourtney, don't take him back just because he sang an amazing song, and is giving you a heads up on what's gonna happen...

KOURTNEY IS ME TRYING TO LEAVE AN ONLINE CLASS

I hate school

ooo Nini's writing a song about bad internet connection 🤩🤩🤩

I never lie, except when I do-

son that is the creepiest thing you could say to a stranger that you've been "helping"

2 truths and a lie👀

he's an Ariana fan 100%

called it.

OLDER BROTHER-

WHAT-

free spirit? damn so brother porter was in that horse movie

so has she been kissed or not?????????

I feel like she's moved more than 15 times though so possibly

but then if she's moved so much, and before east high she never opened up to anyone, she's never been kissed then?? damn

same though Gina so let's be besties please

heartbreak president is a great song title idea, give Nini a call rn

but wait

is the no strings attached feeling thing about her telling Ricky she liked him? she thought she was moving away so she thought it'd be no strings attached???

guys I think I figured it out insert the "I've connected two dots" meme

THE DUKE SWEATSHIRT

IS THAT YOUR BOYFRIEND'S

OMG I LOVE I LOVE

NOT THAT I KNOW OF???

ma'am did you just kill me

yes you did

Lynne and Ricky have such a weird relationship

YES IT DID SUCK

TODD SUCKS

LYNNE SUCKS

yeah I get that you wanted Ricky to like Todd BUT THAT WASN'T THE TIME

right so we already know that Ricky was so desperate to keep Nini cuz he didn't want to be like his parents, and now Lynne's talking about this-

Richard needs a long hug

yes Lynne, it is your fault. thank you for finally admitting it.

YES DYE YOUR HAIR

BLOND HIGHLIGHTS RICKY WILL RISE AGAIN

"sometimes the best, last thing you can do for someone you love, is let them go."

gotta admit I teared up at that point

not me thinking big red was calling ms Jenn cupcake for a hot second-

Carlos please omg, you're at the "beach" and they're leaving for the pool?

also, why not just do the call from the hotel room please omg

"don't ask me"

"Carlos"

OMG WHAT HAPPENED

big red wants the tea

O M G

SEB IS JEALOUS

JEALOUS SEBBY IS MY FAVOURITE THING IDC

I'm surprised ms Jenn knew how to give Nini permission to screenshare tbh

So lily's been stalking the East high kids and spending time editing this video while she's supposedly in an immersion trip.... right

EJ and Ashlyn's picture is so chaotic, what even is happening there

"slacking off" bestie its spring break, obviously they're confident enough that they'll get it done in time so why not focus on your own musical.

jealous seb = sassy seb

please what if those guys Carlos is posing with are his cousins or something and that's why he's so confused about Seb

6 YEAR OLD EJ I LOVE HIM I LOVE HIM I LOVE HIM

Nini saying she's obsessed with her ex, that's not weird at all 👍

I can just tell Matt had a blast harassing Julia with those puppets.

Jack please dont be like that, "yet"

chances are you'll never see eachother again 🥰

(honestly sometimes I really miss those friends I made on trips and stuff when we'd spend the day or week together, only to never see them again....those were the good days though)

Ashlyn and Nini should write more songs..... something better than this one at least

Nini: "im good"

cue the Tia Mowry (please I can't spell) crying gif

oh I forgot Ricky was in the show for a hot second

1. where did Gina get to film this without people being around

2. did she just... randomly change her clothes???

ok but the transition between Carlos and EJ

*chefs kiss*

now everyone shut up, EJ's singing

oh i think I'm pregnant

HIS MUSCLES

YES KOURTNEY

I love how big red and Kourtney went from being "the best friends™" to the couple in season 1, to kinda close themselves and having their own plots

sebby makes me so happy

props to biggies editing skills honestly

PORTWELL BEING SIDE TO SIDE I CANT

AND SEBLOS OMG

big red lives for the drama

"wow" so true Ricky

no he is not cute, stop it

"holding" ok that's kinda cute

yeah EJ's a lucky guy😌

jokes aside, it's not that hard to exchange numbers-

keep in touch if you want

ok I really like Jack now

if he comes back in season 3, maybe have him be LGBTQ+ ?

like the only out characters they have rn are Seb and Carlos and they're like the sterotypes, yk?

I'd love to see jack kinda break the mold

Ricky's breaking my heart

that song just hurts

the only thing

now I don't hate Lynne????????

HOW DARE THEY WRITE IN A PROPER REDEMPTION ARC FOR HER

UGH IM SUPPOSED TO HATE HER FOREVER

I mean I don't live her now but she's good

but honestly

"mom can I show you something"

IT WAS SO BEAUTIFUL

THE PICTURE AND EVERYTHING OMG

I'm sobbing please help

Gina saying she's just waiting for the right guy and then EJ coming to the airport to pick her up late at night without her asking, offering to bring her back in the morning so she won't have to Uber, bringing her a granola bar (WHICH IS EXACTLY WHAT SHE FORGOT TO PACK) and without expecting anything in return???

ms ma'am you've got a keeper right there

her smile at the end was so heartwarming I really can't.

this episode was great.

it felt really short but I liked it, great character development for Ricky, Lynne and Gina.

Cant wait for next episode to see more of EJ being the ideal boyfriend /hj

[ateezmakemeweep]

richboy!yeosang (part 5)

word count: 6k

angst, fluff (tw: postpartum depression)

(part 4) (miniseries masterlist)

kang jang-mi was born at seven pounds, four ounces on what felt like the hottest day in june. 

your friends sat anxiously in the waiting room, the last remaining quarrels about if it’s a boy or a girl quietly spoken and much more positive. mingi and yunho could only sit there sharing side-eyes and smirks, your slip up in the coffee shop filling them with excitement. 

“i still think it’s a boy,” jongho says, “i’m confident.”

“i already bought the it’s a girl balloon so it better be.”

“well i bought the it’s a boy balloon so...”

yeosang walking into the waiting room stops the conversation immediately, a smirk crossing his face at the two different types of balloons. the boys are up and out of their seats immediately, rushing over to the new father with a flurry of questions and comments. 

but the man is used to this type of chaos from his friends, silencing them with a single finger before attempting to get to all of their questions - or at least some of them. 

“y/n and the baby are okay. she can only see two people at a time and she personally requested mingi and yunho first.” 

disappointed sighs and groans leave the other boys as mingi and yunho shoot up from their seats, scurrying over to yeosang who shares a knowing smile with the couple. 

“wait, wait, wait,” jongho says when the three men turn to leave, yeosang looking him over questioningly. 

he watches with a growing smirk as his youngest friend grabs a blue balloon before snatching away san’s ‘it’s a girl’, offering them both to him expectantly. 

“which one?”

multiple heads of innocent bystanders and smirking staffs snap to the big group of men, surprised gasps leaving all of them when yeosang wordlessly takes the pink balloon and pushes mingi and yunho toward your room.

chaos erupts from the other group of boys being left in the waiting room, other bystanders and nurses watching along with wide-eyed expressions. 

“i told you, you silly fuck!”

“they got it wrong. i was- i was so sure.”

“did she really ask for us or did you feel bad that we were stuck with them?” yunho chuckles out, yeosang sharing a smirk with the boy as they walk down the hall.

“a little bit of both,” he says, stopping in front of the door and peeking inside. 

he can see through the window that your eyes are shut, the sweat once dripping down your face gone as you lay completely still and relaxed. 

the labor had been hard but you’d gotten through it well, to no one’s surprise. 

you squeezed his hand while you screamed and cried, swearing you were never gonna do this again and will only trust in condoms from here on out. you blamed him for his “kink for elevators” and only didn’t burst out laughing because he knew you were in pain. 

but now as lay still and healthy, your baby in the newborn unit adjusting to the new world, he feels a different type of content. all the fear and anxiety about the unknowns settled with the simple fact that you’re okay and the baby’s okay. 

“they’re both doing really good, though. y/n’s not mad at me anymore for getting her pregnant so that’s a good sign,” yeosang chuckles, his eyes looking toward you lovingly before meeting yunho and mingi’s gaze again.

“we got to talk and we wanted to ask you two something,” the boy says, his eyes moving from yunho to mingi before hardening slightly. 

“i wanted yunho as the god parent but y/n insisted that you have to be as well,” he says, underneath the mock look of disdain and irritation an intense happiness and warmth everyone can clearly see. 

“i don’t know want you thinking this was my idea. so... what do you guys say? wanna be godparents?” yeosang smiles, the overwhelming look in yunho and mingi’s eyes making him chuckle; they both look ready to cry and scream in joy. 

“maybe try to not let my daughter now you’ve tried to kill me on multiple occasions,” he adds to mingi, the boy rolling his eyes despite the way he reaches out and pats his shoulder. 

the movement’s a little awkward and unfamiliar but neither of the boys say anything, an unspoken respect and liking for each other that’s come about within the past years.

both of them know the other would never do anything to hurt you purposely and they know the same will be said for jang-mi. 

“of course, are you kidding me!” yunho chuckles out, pulling yeosang’s smaller boy into his. “thank you, yeosang. that’s so... this is gonna be so cool.” 

yeosang smiles and nods his head, looking back at you to see you’re now sitting up awake and stretching your arms up.

the three boys bursting through the door cause you to look over and smile lazily, a quiet, “hi,” before you’re promptly pulled into a hug. 

“be careful,” yeosang growls at mingi, the taller boy ignoring him completely; of course he was being careful, you just pushed out a baby a few hours ago. 

“how you feeling?” yunho asks before his smile widens. “i’m asking as, you know, the godparent...”

“you... asked them without me?!” you whined softly at yeosang, smacking him in the stomach as he throws his arms up defensively. 

“you were sleeping, baby, you said it was okay,” he whines back, bending down to peck a kiss on your head. 

“i know but i still wanted to-” 

the nurse knocking on the door rips your attention away, eyes wide and alert as you think she’s about to tell you something is wrong; but then she’s there smiling softly, holding a pink blanket with your baby wrapped up in it that causes mingi and yunho to gasp quietly. 

“oh, my god.... she’s so small,” mingi whispers, yunho snorting next to him as he throws his arm around his shoulder. 

“what’d you expect? she’s a baby,” he responds, watching as you so naturally take the baby in your arms. 

you’d always been a little scared of just how delicate newborn babies are, feeling awkward or nervous to take them or hold them in the wrong way. 

but it’s like the eight and a half month journey had made everything easier and more natural, the simple inclination you have even just to hold her properly something you couldn’t have ever imagined.

“come here,” you mumble softly, yunho and mingi moving closer to the bed to get a good look at her.

and as far as babies go, though they think they might be a little biased, they have to imagine she’s the prettiest one they’d ever seen. a head full of hair already and eyes gazing up at them curiously, alert and calm and making them coo quietly at her. 

“are we allowed to hold her?” yunho asks.

but before he gets the chance, five bodies barreling through the door with the nurse’s “wait, two at a time please!” distract all of you, the rest of the boys rushing through to get a look at you and the baby. 

“let us see, let us see!”

“i can’t believe it’s a girl.”

“wait.... don’t tell me they’re the godparents.”

if you thought the bickering that went on after the boys found out about who you chose as god parents was bad, you weren’t nearly prepared enough for your first month as a mother. 

your once peaceful and quiet apartment had quickly turned into chaos. it was the 7th night in a row you were awoken by your little girl’s screams and you weren’t sure if you could take much more of it. 

the first week was strangely blissful, you and yeosang taking shifts to feed her or check on her in the middle of the night. 

“mom, i’m telling you, everything is strangely.... really good?” you said on the phone foolishly, going on and on about how easy your baby was. 

how feeding her always went smoothly, how she basically slept through the night unless one small cry echoed through the baby monitor.

how you and yeosang loved just sitting around the house and watching her sleep or look up at you two curiously. 

how you couldn’t believe you’d gotten so lucky to have, both, an understanding boyfriend and well-behaved infant. 

but that all quickly changed one night, a summer thunderstorm you’re almost positively traumatized your daughter to the point of tarnishing her near-perfect sleep schedule. 

now she cried on the hour to just be held, feeding her at the normal times but then screaming her head off when you tried to place her back down. you’d fallen asleep in the chair holding her one too many times to count, tired and drained and just wanting to relieve your heavy eyes. 

yeosang admired your composure and helped along side the way, waking with you and kneeling down watching you hum softly or rest your eyes; but then you cracked the 7th night and, similar to your pregnancy outbursts, it seemed almost out of nowhere. 

it’d been his turn to get up and feed her, the wailing and screaming that’s kept you up for nights silencing just a few moments after it started. 

whether it be your own curiosity or your new mother’s protectiveness kicking in, you peeked inside the nursery to see yeosang staring down at your daughter. both of them are completely calm and relaxed in the darkness, only the sound of her soft breathing and yeosang’s gentle hums. 

as you lean against the door and watch them, you feel a strange mix of warmth and sadness.

you knew you were right in your assumption that yeosang was gonna be a great dad. he was kind and nurturing and sweet, you saw it in the way he took care of you and the other people in your lives.

and jang-mi from the moment she was in the world loved him, looked to him and was easily soothed by him - you could just tell they were gonna have a great relationship.

but you.

you felt as if you were failing. 

the nights you woke to feed her, she typically screamed and cried for what felt like hours. she’d only settle down in your arms when you’d start to hum the same tune as yeosang right now, something you both did during your months of pregnancy. 

it felt as if at nights, that with her new fears and rocky sleeping pattern, that in times of crisis, she wanted yeosang. 

and a part of you loved that but another part of you couldn’t help but feel powerless. that even after a month of bonding with your baby, smiling and laughing and holding her, after months of carrying her and helping her grow, she didn’t seem to like you. 

yeosang caught your gaze and you smiled at him softly, giving him a tired thumbs up before trekking back to bed. 

you tried to push down your feelings and felt bad for feeling this way, a knot in your stomach and pain in your chest; it wasn’t about jang-mi and yeosang or you and him as parents as much as it was about you feeling completely incompetent. 

you couldn’t even get your own baby to stop crying faster than yeosang; everyone says a mother has a natural tendency to do that so why does it feel like you don’t? 

the tears in your eyes are unaware to you until you push your face into your pillow and feel the wetness seeping through. you can only stay there buried in shame and defeat and embarrassment, knowing that while you’re in here crying, your baby is doing fine without you.

yeosang comes in a few moments later, only small whines from his daughter as he placed her body in her crib. she looked up at him and he smiled softly, reaching out to pat the peach fuzz on her head until she fell fast asleep.

the past month has been tiring but worth it, crawling in beside you and wrapping his arms around your waist. 

“hopefully she’s good for the night,” he mumbled in your ear, his lips pressing against your head chastely. you only hum in response and at first he thinks it’s just because you’re tired but then he feels how tense you are.

how your shoulders are tight and your face is buried and it causes him to call your name gently. 

you’re not surprised that he’s able to tell something’s wrong, rolling over wordlessly and allowing him to see your tear-stained face. it immediately makes his heart sink, lips turning into a frown as he reaches out to dab at the wetness. 

“hey, hey, what’s wrong?” he asks lowly, voice sweet and tone deep and it only makes you break more. 

“you’re... you’re so good with her, yeosang,” you whimper out, his eyebrows pulling together as he wipes at your tears and pulls you closer. “you’re so good with her and she barely cries when you go in there... but when i go in there... i feel like i’m doing a terrible job.”

“what?” yeosang asks, genuine confusion in his voice as he pulls your face to meet his. there’s anxiety and sadness and defeat in your eyes, his hold on you tightening as he shakes his head. 

“no, no, baby. you’re doing so good and she loves you,” he reassures gently. 

“no i’m not,” you cry out, shaking your head as you feel all the stress and fear and anxiety from this pat month hit you. “i don’t know what the hell i’m doing.”

“neither do i, baby,” he says, a pout on his lips as he looks over your teary face. “we both still don’t know what we’re doing but it’s going well, no? i love you and she loves you.”

“no, it’s not,” you whimper out, burying your face in his shirt and feeling him sigh against you. “and she hates me. she only wants you at night and screams when i go in there. why else would she do that?”

your words are wet and muffled but he’s still able to make each one out, his heart breaking as he gently runs his fingers through your hair. 

“every day and night has been different, my love. some days she’s been good and others she’s been cranky. we’re all still adjusting and that’s okay,” he says quietly, reminding himself these exact words in his own fits of panic.

because of course he’s panicking half the time too but he tries to be strong for you. be a rock for you in a way you’ve always been for him. 

“you’re doing so good, baby, i promise. she wants you every morning, have you noticed that? i can go in there and pick her up but she cries. she only stops when she sees you walk through.”

“that’s only because she’s hungry,” you mutter, a humorless chuckle leaving yeosang’s mouth as he shakes his head. 

“no. because i feed her, too. she just wants to see you in the morning, baby,” he mumbles, holding himself above you so his eyes can roam your face. he presses a kiss on your cheek, then the other, until he’s pressing them all over you and you’re pushing him away playfully. 

“you’re doing great, love. we both are and she actually likes us, i think,” he says, flopping back down before pulling you on his chest. similiar to his movements from just moments ago in the nursery, his hand runs through your hair gently and you fall asleep to the sound of his heartbeat.

and sure enough, when you wake up, you hear cries coming from the nursery that have you springing up and out of your bedroom. yeosang’s holding jang-mi and he smiles knowingly at you, pressing a kiss to your head he passes her to you and her wails stop.

the next few months, you both became a little more confident in your parenting abilities. 

changing diapers was easier and waking up for nightly feedings was like clockwork, falling into a steady routine that consisted of yeosang taking online classes and going to work three times a week. 

on the days he was out, one of the five boys would come over and keep you both company - yeosang’s demand that one of them keep his girls busy and happy while he’s out. 

jang-mi was a little over six months now, laying on the floor with mingi while you cooked for the three of you. your days were the same at this point but you loved each and every one, cooped up in the apartment as you watched your baby grow and meet all her milestones. 

you’d been there for all of them and you prided yourself on that. the first time she smiled at you, the first time she reached out for the toy san had gotten her, the first time she-

“y/n!” 

you ran from the stove to the living room at mingi’s loud voice, rushing inside to see your best friend looking down at your child like she’d grown 3 heads. 

“what? what happened?” you ask frantically, rushing over to get a good look at her; she’s not crying and you don’t see any blood, those are already two reassuring signs.

“she just said my name!” 

and it’s at that you start giggling into your hand, covering your face and shaking your head because “mingi, she just turned six months. she can’t talk yet.”

“but she did! she just did! i swear she said-”

there’s a pounding on your front door before seonghwa, san and wooyoung enter, the three boys not even acknowledging you as they rush over to the baby on the floor. 

“hi to you guys too,” you huff, watching the boys crowd around the jang-mi with shouts of “hey, y/n!” a giggle leaves your mouth before you ditch the meal and order pizza instead, calling yeosang to see if he’ll be home soon.

“hey, baby. how it’s going?”

“the boys showed up so i just ordered pizza,” you tell him, watching as jang-mi giggles at san and wooyoung making funny faces at her. “are you gonna be home soon?”

“what, you miss me or something?” 

because after all this time you spend together now, more often than not during the week, leaving each other proves to be more difficult. you’d think you two would want a break from each other but him leaving is by far the worst part of your days on monday through wednesday. 

“yes,” you admit softly, his deep chuckle causing you to giggle softly. 

“i’ll be home soon. probably 30 minutes, just finishing up some stuff. will you be able to last that long?”

you roll your eyes and let out a scoff as you make your way into the living room, insisting to your boyfriend you’ll do just fine before your eyes catch mingi and jang-mi smiling at one another.

“oh. and you’ll be happy to hear that mingi thinks jang-mi’s first word was his name.”

“oh, bullshit,” yeosang snaps, a loud chuckle leaving your mouth that grabs said man’s attention. 

“it was! i heard her say it!” 

“she doesn’t even like you!” yeosang says loudly through the phone, the image of him screaming in his office making you giggle. you hang up before the two can start to bicker more, sliding your phone onto the table before sinking down onto the couch.

you’re still tired these days but the boys coming over helps, allowing you to relax while also watching jang-mi play and have fun. 

you don’t know when or how you doze off with the chaos, you just know that one moment you’re watching seonghwa tickle jang-mi and the next, you’re waking up to yeosang placing a kiss on your lips. 

“hey, love,” he mumbles, kneeling down to meet your gaze on the couch. you smile tiredly as you bury yourself into the cushions, pulling him closer to you and mumbling that you missed him.

“i know, baby, i missed you too,” he hums. 

because if there’s one thing he noticed throughout parenthood, it’s that, somehow, your relationship has only gotten stronger. 

you both have the same fears but also have the same things that make you happy - and that’s each other, your baby, and the headache inducing friends currently talking shit to your child. 

“they’re so gross, you’re gonna have a brother soon, mark my words, miss jang-mi.”

“nah, it’ll be another girl, i know it for sure now,” wooyoung says, dabbing at her face full of applesauce. “you’ll be an older sister, little lady.”

“he thought you were a chicken, mi, you really can’t take his word for anything.”

you and yeosang share an amused look before he pulls you to your feet, guiding you over to the table before quickly pecking your cheek. he takes jang-mi for a diaper change as you talk and laugh with the boys, everything about your life right now far too perfect.

it was a rough start but they all made it a little easier.

you were lucky to have a great support system, albeit a little insane, that made this transition easy. 

there was nothing but love and admiration between all of you, their eyes lighting up every time jang-mi giggles or concern flashing when she stumbles down clumsily. 

like when yeosang comes back into the main room without jang-mi fifteen minutes later, they all jump up and demand to know where she is. 

“you idiots tired her out, she fell asleep in the middle of a diaper change.”

and with the baby sleeping and the rest of the night to yourselves, you and yeosang are quick to all but kick everyone out of the apartment. there’s loud protests and mock hurt from the boys but they know deep down, you two rarely get a minute to yourselves these days. 

mingi gives you a parting wink and you roll your eyes, waving goodbye to the boy before yeosang closes the door. he turns to see you cleaning up the table and quickly stops you, tugging you by the waist before promptly throwing you down on the couch.

you land with a giggle as his body covers yours, lips meeting yours in a kiss that quickly has your legs wrapping around his waist. 

it’s been a while since you two were able to do something as simple as make out, feel him under you as you straddle his lap or suppress your moans as his kisses down your neck. 

but right now, something as silly as kissing and giggling and roaming hands on the couch feels exciting. it feels the same way it did in the pool house all those years ago, fresh and fun and exciting. 

full of a passion that you hoped even then would never burn out. 

and not even now with a baby has it. not even with a real ‘adult’ life have you two ever felt as if that connection was gone.

“i love you, you know that?” he mumbles into your skin, your cheeks warming and stomach fluttering as you look up at him. there’s a soft pink glow to them that makes him smile fondly, his hand cupping your cheek gently. 

you can only nod shyly, your own softly spoken “i love you, too,” mumbled into the living room. 

the sky is an array of pink and orange, the sun just about to set before darkness paints the windows of your apartment. 

it’ll be a night for movies, snacks and resting your head on his lap, his hands playing with your before one of two things happens: jang-mi wakes up and you bring her out or you fall asleep and yeosang carries you into bed for the night. 

the latter had seemed to happen a few hours later because one minute, your head’s resting on yeosang under a blanket and the next, you’re placed down on your soft, cold bed. 

you let out a tired whine and yeosang smiles down at you, mumbling that you fell asleep before quickly joining you; it’s wednesday which means yeosang’s home for the next four days, your smile widening at that reminder before you move yourself closer to him. 

his days off now don’t mean you can sleep in but instead, wake together. make breakfast for each other while watching your child giggle and smile in her high chair. 

you used to go to the park on the days it wasn’t too cold but now with winter approaching, you’re usually cozied up in your house with the fire place burning and a cartoon on. 

switching between giving attention to each other and jang-mi, who promptly wakes you both up at 5:30 in the morning. 

you insist that yeosang sleeps in more, pushing him back down numerous times before he pins you to the bed and demands for you to go back to bed; a pout covers your lips as you shake your head but it’s like your tired eyes don’t get the memo.

“you worked for the past three days, you need to rest,” you whine tiredly, his eyes rolling because he’s positive sitting behind a desk and talking with his coworkers is a lot easier than taking care of a baby.

“i’m well rested, thank you, love,” he mumbles, pressing a kiss to your cheek before pulling back. “mi will have to settle for her dad today.”

the two and a half hours of sleep were great but when you woke up and saw pancakes ready for you and yeosang and jang-mi laying together on the couch, you could’ve burst into tears on the spot.

he was talking softly to her, singing her name in a little tune before you heard his deep chuckle.

“what’s so funny?” you ask, both, his and jang-mi’s smiles brightening at the sound of your voice. she immediately opens her arms up for you and you take her happily, pressing a kiss to her head before looking at your boyfriend. 

the scent of pancakes is more prominent in the living room, looking over to see a plate of pancakes sitting atop the stove.

“thank you for breakfast,” you say softly, the smell filling the apartment making your stomach growl. 

“thank you for finally listening to me and sleeping in.” 

you roll your eyes before bringing your food over to the table, sitting on the floor as you watch jang-mi babble and play with her toys next to you.

she’s been babbling for the past few weeks now so when you hear her quiet, little “gigigi,” you don’t think much of it; but then when yeosang bursts out laughing again, you have to look to him with your mouth stuffed full of pancakes.

“what?”

“do you think that’s why mingi thought she was saying his name?”

a loud laugh bubbles out of your mouth causing jang-mi to jump before joining along, her own giggles and your reaction causing yeosang to snort into his hand. 

he’s quick to whip out his phone and record her, her smile and giggles quickly shifting when she rolls on her back and starts to play with her toes. 

and when mingi watches the video yeosang sends him a few moments later, he can’t help but gleefully send back that not only does his own child like him more, he said his name first.

it was a nosy, crotchety old woman at the food store that sparked the conversation of marriage between you and yeosang. 

you two were shopping for jang-mi’s first birthday tomorrow, her smiley and giggling form in the front of the cart, when an older woman commented on how beautiful she was. 

“thank you,” you smiled politely, you and yeosang sharing that same, warm look any time someone compliments your child. 

“you must’ve been a young bride, dear, you look like a baby too,” she chuckled, a smirk on yeosang’s lips as you let out a forced, almost strangled laugh. 

and it’s then the woman’s eyes move down your body to your ringless left hand, a look of judgment crossing her face quicker than you can believe. 

“oh... or not a bride, that’s....”

“none of your business, now is it lady?” yeosang says, his tone just as deceptively kind as hers even with the bite in it. 

she walks off with a huff and dirty look thrown your way, a smirk on your face before you push him down the cereal aisle. 

it bothered you a little bit when you first found about jang-mi, getting pregnant and not being married, but those feelings quickly went away when you thought about how silly that was. 

marriage is something that’s different for everyone and for you and yeosang, even with a baby, it’s not something you inherently need. you already live together and live your life as a married couple - all that’s left to do is blow money on the ceremony and go away to a tropical island. 

yeosang can’t help but be a little bothered by the woman’s words throughout the day, though probably because they were directed toward you, but he noticed you weren’t upset at all about it. 

you carried on in the store and at the house like normal, setting up decorations and planning the meals while he put jang-mi to bed by wrapping her in her birthday onesie. 

“hey, baby,” you hear him say, turning from your spot at the stove. 

he presses your back against it and you smile into the kiss, tilting your head coyly when you pull away. your eyes roam his face because you could tell that woman’s comment irritated him, you just weren’t sure why. 

“are you okay?” 

“mhm,” he hums lowly, his hands reaching up to run through your hair. “why wouldn’t i be?”

“i don’t know...” you mumble quietly, a smirk pulling at your lips before you bring your hand next to your face to wiggle your fingers. “maybe because we’re sinners who aren’t married.”

a snort leaves yeosang’s mouth as he shakes his head, pulling you by the waist in typical fashion to bring you over to the couch. you two plop down as you get comfy on him, resting your head on his shoulder and basking in his comfort and warmth. 

you’re not sure how long you sit in a comfortable silence for, you just know that everything is calm and quiet and it’s such a contrast to this time last year. when things were chaotic and you felt like you wouldn’t be able to handle motherhood.

when you weren’t sure how you and yeosang would be, if the dynamic and household was gonna be so different that it ended up breaking you guys down as a couple. 

and while things changed, it seemed to be for the better. it only made you two more happy and more secure, wedding band and your official last name as kang aside. 

“i don’t mind not being married,” you assure him quietly, because you know that’s the elephant in the room right now. 

“i don’t... want us to get married because we had a kid. i want us to get married when the time feels right. maybe when we’re both actually out of school or something,” you chuckle out, remembering when that was your original plan for popping out a kid. 

yeosang feels a weight lift off his shoulder as he looks over at you, unsurprised in the slightest that you not only knew what was wrong, but that you were able to calm him down.

assure him in a way that made him know you guys always seem to be on the same page when you effectively communicate about things. 

“i feel the same way,” he says to you, tightening his hold on you before pressing a kiss to your head. “even though if you wanted... i’d go out and-”

“buy a ring right now,” you tease, shimming over until you’re sitting on his lap. you twirl your fingers through his hair. “i think you’re just eager to buy the wedding ring.”

“duh, it’s gonna be flashy as fuck.”

your face pulls into one of disgust and he can’t help but laugh, knowing on more than one occasion he’s thought about what kind of wedding ring you’d want.

“i’d kill you,” you mumble, the last of your sentence getting cut off when he slams his lips on yours. 

“shut up,” he mumbles back, you giggling against his mouth before you move your hips over his teasingly. 

your clothes become littered on the living room floor before your naked body runs into the bedroom to grab a condom, the promise that you screamed through labor every bit true as you roll the latex over yeosang. 

“are you ever gonna trust birth control again? i miss feeling your warm, tight pus-”

you sink down on him and chuckle when he lets out a moan, rolling your eyes and riding him on the couch with the reassurance that, a month later, you won’t be needing to get another pregnancy test just yet. 

“no, no! say wooo-young!” 

“gi....gi.”

“woooo-young.”

“gi.....gi.”

“wooyoung.”

“gigi.”

everyone around the table snorts at the look jang-mi throws her uncle, her sweet little voice just as stern and face just as dumbfounded. 

“i told you guys, i’m her favorite,” mingi boasts, taking jang-mi from her seat and smiling when she clings on to him.

her first birthday consisted of cake, bickering and pink decorations placed throughout the apartment. her pile of toys in the living room and nursery doubled from the amount of gifts today alone, a giant dollhouse taking up a good portion of her room now.

it’s where she’s currently dragging mingi and, begrudgingly, wooyoung off to, showing them all her dolls and cars that they’ve gifted her throughout the first year of her life. 

you and yeosang watch her walk off, the two boys crouched and awkwardly walking like crabs so they’re down to her level. you both share a smile before yeosang pecks your cheek, cleaning up the leftover cake and plates while you share a smile with yunho. 

“can you guys adopt a baby?” 

you’ve never seen yunho’s face turn a brighter shade of red in your life, his hand reaching out to smack your arm lightly. 

“are you crazy?”

“oh c’mon,” you whine, a playful smile on your face as you poke his stomach with both pointer fingers. “isn’t it sweet watching mingi with a baby? he’s barely grouchy anymore.”

“maybe around her,” he scoffs, your eyes rolling because you know mingi isn’t as happy and pleasant around anyone as much as he is his fiancé - though next month, you’ll be able to say husband. 

it was quickly planned but the two decided to have a summer wedding, july 21st with none other than jang-mi as the flower girl. her dress is yellow and has been hung on her door for weeks, excitement rushing through her every time she sees it. 

“okay well then after the wedding, of course,” you wink, his eyes rolling; but you also don’t miss the shy smile and warm blush on his cheeks, knowing very well those two would create the best home for a child. 

yunho thinks maybe they would too, watching how quickly and naturally mingi surprisingly is with children. 

yeosang plops down next to guys and chastises you for bringing it up again, knowing from the look on yunho’s face you were probably begging him to adopt a cousin for jang-mi.

“oh c’mon, but wouldn’t it be cute?” you say, smiling up at yeosang in a way that causes him to tap your nose lightly. 

“it would be,” he mumbles, before pulling you closer to him. his lips ghost over your ear and it’s probably far too intimate a move with all your friends here but he does it anyway, having no regard or care in the world.

“or she could just... get another sibling.”

you narrow your eyes and smack his arm lightly, reminding yourself to stack up on more condoms when you go to the store tomorrow. 

“yeah, right. not for another year, yeosang, i’m serious.”

a smirk crosses his face as he nods his head, pecking your lips lightly before watching your daughter run clumsily to him. 

he scoops her up as her giggle rings through the air, his lips smacking loud kisses on her cheeks as she squeals loudly; and it’s upon seeing that you don’t think you’d mind having another baby again.

because planned or not, confident in your parenting abilities or not, you know you and your little family are always gonna be okay. 

jang-mi reaches out for you and you immediately rise to your feet, fixing the tiny ponytail atop her head right before her and yeosang place simultaneous pecks on your cheeks.

“cuteeee!” wooyoung squeals, looking over at you before squeezing past and poking jang-mi in the arm lightly. “now tell me, little lady, who’s your favorite? mommy or daddy?” 

she narrows her eyes at the man like he asked her something unholy, looking between you and yeosang before throwing her arms around both of you. you share a small giggle and place a peck on her head, your eyes catching yeosang’s just as he smiles back at you. 

“both. i love mommy and daddy,” she says, her squeaky little voice causing your smile to widen. 

“and gigi,” she quickly adds, a laugh bubbling out of you when everyone, including yeosang, let out groans and smack the favorite uncle in the arm. 

complete

tag list: @mirror-juliet​ @toffee-hwa​ @valhoez​ @miatsubaki23​ @mydaintydaisy​ @treasurehwa​ @markleeyeosang​

[neo-culture-taste]

Abeilles au Printemps - Ch 9

Alternate Title: Bees in Spring  

Genre: AU, romance, drama, comedy, smut, who’s the daddy

Pairing: NCT x Y/N (fem)

Rating: Mostly mature themes/ language. Smutty chapters will be labeled 🐝.

Word Count: 11500+

For other chapters, see the masterlist.

OMFG. I can’t believe it has been an entire year since we posted the last chapter. 2020 was truly a mess, lmao. We’re SO sorry we made you wait that long! We had everything written and then we started adding and changing stuff to the point where we had to rewrite the entire thing. But it’s here now! And you’re in for a WILD ride. - D

“So is this how the rich and famous live?” commented Yuta as he drove down the wide street, passing various mansions in the neighborhood. “I bet there's a pool in every backyard and everyone owns their own boat.”

“Probably,” you responded weakly. You were too busy trying to pull the skin off from the sides of your fingers. A nasty habit you had since you were younger, which only manifested when you were extremely anxious. You had no reason to be stressed, right? Jaehyun would explain everything and everything would be fine, wouldn’t it?

You motioned for Yuta to make a right at the stop sign. “Are we leaving the neighborhood?” he asked you.

“No, not really,” you answered, forcing yourself to put your hands at your sides so you wouldn't pick at them anymore. “He just owns more land than his neighbors. He likes his privacy.”

“I completely understand. That’s how I would be if I had all this money. I’d even have my own little pond of ducks,” he joked. “They’d be free to walk the grounds and they’d just add to the beautiful and serene scenery that I would curate for my land.”

You rolled your eyes at Yuta before sitting up straighter in your seat. “Speaking of ducks, drive slowly and don’t run over Quackers and Mr. Bill.” Right as you said that, two ducks waddled in front of Yuta’s car, making their way through the iron gates to their pond on the other side. 

“He actually has ducks?!”

“Per my request, yes. Our evening walks at the park during the early part of my pregnancy also consisted of feeding the ducks. I enjoyed it so much I joked about him making a pond and having ducks of his own.”

“And so he dug a hole in his yard and purchased you two feathered creatures?!”

You slouched back into your seat. “Five, actually. The other three should be around here somewhere. They came with the ring, the beautiful nursery, and the wall he tore down for my walk in closet.”

Yuta almost slammed on his breaks in shock. “The wall he--Woah, wait he already built you a nursery?”

Sighing heavily, you turned your head to look forlornly at the swaying motion of Mr. Bill's feathery butt as he walked into the distance. “Yeah…”

“And now you want to barge in this man’s house and accuse him of what exactly?” he asked as he pulled to a smooth stop right outside the Jung estate gate. “You said you’d explain on the way, but you haven’t breathed a single word.”

Well, you were confronting Jaehyun about Mark being arrested for a car that supposedly belonged to Jaehyun and not his cousin Taeil being reported stolen, secret photos following the every move of you and your male friends since earlier that day, and the relationship between those photographs and those of Kun cheating while overseas. There was no way you could explain any of that to Yuta in the short amount of time you had between now and seeing Jaehyun.

“It’s complicated,” was all you told him.

“Tch. Complicated,” Yuta clicked his tongue. “You have a giant envelope of evidence you’ve been trying to hide from view since I picked you up. I’m a lawyer, too, remember?” 

“Yuta, please.”

“Let me be a voice of reason before you do something you’ll regret." Yuta rested his chin in his palm as he propped his elbow onto his armrest. "You just became his fiancée only what? A week ago?  There’s probably a logical explanation--”

“Thanks for the concern Yuta, but I have to do this if I want to stay engaged.”

Yuta ran a hand through his hair and took a deep breath, and he drummed his fingers of his other hand on the steering wheel while he thought. “I won’t say anything more. But just promise me you’ll be careful. Don’t do anything I wouldn’t hesitate to do." 

Ha! You couldn't hold back the chuckle that escaped you. You leaned over to kiss Yuta on the cheek and gave him a somewhat reassuring smile. “This just might be the day that I do.”

His brows furrowed. “Should I call the cops?” he responded with evident concern in his voice.

You rolled your eyes and proceeded to fish for Jaehyun’s electronic gate key out of your pants pocket. But then...your attention quickly turned to the large iron gate slowly opening on its own. 

“I thought this was supposed to be a surprise mission?” Yuta lifted himself away from the armrest and took his foot off the break, then proceeded to pull through the gate towards the front of the mansion. 

“It is. I didn’t call beforehand. He is obviously watching us on the monitor in his kitchen. Fucking creep.”

“Y/N! That’s your fiancé you’re talking about!”

You shook your head. “He has to be guilty of something since he’s not coming outside to greet me.”

“Right...” Yuta pulled into the circular driveway in front of the mansion and put the car in park. There was only one other car in the circular driveway and you recognized it to be the same make and model of Jeno’s car. He must have driven straight there after dropping Mark off at your place. No telling what conversations were being had within those walls. You imagined how lucky Mark had been to have Jeno in the right place at the right time after he was pulled over by the police. Was it a coincidence or was it on purpose? 

Theories continued to fill your head as your eyes shifted, and they ultimately landed on Jeno’s license plate. “That’s…” You rummaged through your envelope and pulled out the photo of Kun and examined the sticky note attached to it. Doyoung’s scribbles matched the license plate in front of you. “Oh my--“

“Woah, who’s the hot chick with Kun?” Blurted Yuta as he snatched the photo out of your trembling hands. 

“Give it back, Yuta!” You screeched in desperation. You tried to grab it from him but he pulled it out of your reach and batted your hands away.

“Where is he, at a resort?” You tried to grab it once more but he swatted you away again. “Why is Yangyang taking photos of this no name?” 

"Yuta!" And he blocked you again. 

“Why does this sticky note say ‘you don’t know who else he’s watching?'” 

"Please!" And again. 

“With a license plate number that matches the car in front--” You finally succeeded in snatching the photo from his grip and put it back inside the envelope, then let out a heavy breath, thankful that Yuta had only seen the picture of Kun and not the one with him and his son at the ER. “Y/N you need to tell me what’s going on,” Yuta demanded. “I don’t want to jump to conclusions, but I’m starting to get an idea of what’s happening and I really hope I'm wrong.” You started to ask about his assumptions but decided not to, because you were too afraid to get confirmation for your own thoughts. “But if I’m not,” Yuta continued, “do you want me to come in with you? I won’t say anything, but I’ll be there to support you in this apparent kerfuffle you’re about to have with Jaehyun.” And fight him if he had to. Yuta didn’t care how much Jaehyun's face was worth if he ended up hurting you in any way.

You took a deep breath and shook your head. “No. I have to do this alone. But you can help this pregnant lady out of your car.”

“Suit yourself.” Yuta got out and went around to help you out of his car and straighten you onto your feet. 

“Please just stay here. If I’m not out in exactly twenty minutes come and get me?”

“You’re asking me?” No, you weren’t. The inflection at the end of your sentence was because you had just realized how unprepared you were to confront Jaehyun. You were still in your pajamas for crying out loud. All the tension had built up on the way there, and all the questions you had for him began to mix with your feelings for him. You weren’t exactly sure how you were going to pull this off without breaking down.

“No. I’m telling you,” you corrected Yuta.

“Understood.”

Yuta helped you walk up the front steps before turning around and walking back to his car. You tugged on the doorknob and, like you figured, it was unlocked. You slowly opened the door and shut it behind you. The chilly air of the beautifully decorated foyer ran down your spine and left behind a trail of prickly ice crystals. It was eerily quiet. You took a left towards the kitchen and ran your hands across the granite countertop. The same countertop where the homemade cookies he made for you sat on the night you had welcomed him back home. You continued walking and stepped into the living room where the two of you made love countless times on his ridiculously expensive furniture. 

Deciding not to continue searching on the first floor, you made your way to his staircase. The last time you walked up those stairs was the day of your baby shower--the day he proposed to you and presented you with a fully furnished nursery, a broken wall, and some gotdamn ducks. You were afraid of what would be waiting for you inside that room this time. 

“Okay, little bee. Hold on tight.” You patted your stomach before you gripped the railing, ready to start your ascent. But you hadn’t made it two steps up when Jeno suddenly came flying down the stairs. 

“Hey, Ms. Y/N!” He seemed to be in a rush and didn’t even stop to properly greet you. “It’s nice seeing you again.”

“Where’s Jaehyun?” you managed to ask the young man before he made himself scarce.

He stopped in his haste and turned around to face you. “My former employer is in the nursery as you probably already guessed,” he informed you frantically.

You were more than taken aback by his choice of words. “Former employer? Wait, Jeno, what happened?”

“I have to go. The moving van will be here bright and early in the morning, so I have to make sure everything is packed and ready to be moved out of the pool house.”

“He fired you? And kicked you out--”

“I have to go, ma’am. I’m sorry it all had to come down to this. I really enjoyed having you as an acquaintance the past few years. And I’m really sorry about Mark. He wasn’t supposed to get mixed into all of this.”

“Mixed into what, Jeno?” You gripped his arm, stopping him from fleeing your presence. “Please, I have to know.”

Jeno looked you in the eyes and clearly saw the desperation he had already picked up in your voice. Guiltily, he averted his gaze downward, but he suddenly stopped breathing when his eyes landed on the envelope you were holding at your side. He didn't know exactly what was inside your envelope, but he had a pretty strong idea. “I have to go. Please send my love to the baby,” he said and pulled his arm out of your grasp, continuing his hasty retreat through the house. 

You took a deep breath and continued the ascent towards the second floor with more determination in your steps. Reaching the top of the staircase, you turned and walked toward the nursery. The door was slightly ajar, a sliver of light peeking through. You put your hand on the doorknob before readjusting your posture and reclaiming your confidence. You opened the door only to be greeted by...no one. Confused and thankful nothing jumped out to scare you, you turned every which way until you were dizzy, thinking you had somehow missed the six foot man in the beautifuly decorated nursery.

“Jaehyun?” You called out but there was no reply. You walked further into the room towards the crib. You braced yourself along the railing, the smoothness reminding you that Jaehyun built this himself with his own two hands. Two hands attached to a warm body that also proposed and promised you a lifetime of happiness. You should feel happy in this room like you did a week ago. But now you felt different. Off. “What is wrong with me?”

What were you there for exactly? What were you trying to accuse him of? What you were thinking he did could all have been something your mind made up because you were actually too scared to finally settle down and commit to someone. It was entirely plausible. You did this in all your relationships. You ran away from Taeil, from Doyoung, Taeyong, and Kun. Jaehyun wasn't special. The only thing he did differently was propose to you before you could escape. But you actually truly did want to stay this time. And maybe that was why you were so afraid. You were afraid of finding out something you actually had to run away from.

Tired of being in your thoughts and standing on your increasingly aching feet, you called out for him. “Jaehyun, we need to talk--“

“Let’s talk.” 

Startled, you dropped the envelope inside the crib before turning to face your fiancé in the doorway with a rod in his hand adorned with bumblebee patterned curtains. He was wearing a fitted, plain black t-shirt— one of several in his closet, jeans and canvas sneakers. Damn, he looked good. Simple, but so good. And you looked like a mess of a creature before him in your pajamas, house slippers, and wild bed hair. 

“Hey, what’s going on?” he asked after taking in your tousled appearance. “What are you doing here? Did Jeno let you in?” He placed the rod against the wall before walking up to you and grabbing your hands in his. He led you to the rocking chair, ushering you to sit while he crouched down in front of you. “Today has been very weird. First I had to pick you up from the emergency room. Then the release of my new movie was delayed by the studio. Jeno suddenly quit. And now you're here out of nowhere. Not that you being here is strange or anything. I love your company—wait did you drive here? Didn’t the doctor say—“

“Jeno quit?” you interrupted his rambling. “You didn’t fire him?” With the way Jeno ran down the stairs, you were pretty sure he was running away from something--or someone. But Jaehyun’s features gave off a look of concern and slight offense that you would think he’d fire Jeno for any possible reason. 

“No, he quit on his own. He said the stress of being my assistant was finally starting to weigh him down. I guess having to deal with your brother getting arrested wasn't exactly something he wanted to experience.”

At the mention of your brother's name, you remembered exactly why you were there in Jaehyun's home in the first place. “Why did you have my brother arrested? And why didn’t you let him call me from the police station? I may be pregnant, but Mark is still my brother. Not yours. I could have handled the situation.”

Jaehyun cupped your face in an attempt to calm the rising anger he could see wanting to boil up inside you. “I was going to go over to your place, actually. Sit down face to face and explain how Mark got involved in this silly feud between my cousin and I. But my agent called to give me ‘bad news’ and then Jeno came shortly after giving me his less than 24-hour notice.”

“I should have been a higher priority, Jaehyun. I’m your fiancée!” You all but screamed in your heightening temper and pushed his hands away from your face. That probably sounded selfish on your end, but considering your reason for showing up to his house unannounced, it needed to be said. You hadn’t planned on blowing your top so quickly, but every thought inside your mind was racing, making it hard for you to stay level.

His hands went down and gripped the armrests of the rocking chair. “I know and I’m sorry. But you’re here now, so please let me explain.” You didn’t want to hear anything he had to say. You just wanted him to admit whatever your brain was accusing him of so you could leave and be heartbroken alone in your bedroom. But of course you said okay, anyway, since you literally had no other choice but to listen to him. “I truly did not know Mark was borrowing cars from Taeil. If I had known that information beforehand, I would never have put him or Taeil in that position. Mark was simply an unexpected factor in this ongoing tit for tat game of family rivalry.”

“Ongoing?” After he proposed to you, Jaehyun had promised you that he would talk to his cousin about everything. So why was this beef over you between the cousins still unsquashed? “Jae, what does that even mean if you were the one who bought him the cars in the first place?”

“It means that my cousin is a leech and I finance him in order to keep him functioning.” Your eyes went wide, but you didn’t say anything so he continued. “Taeil’s weak attempt to separate us with his words spoken at the baby shower did not sit right with me. So since he decided to bite the hand that literally feeds him, I felt petty and decided to report both my vehicles that I allow him to drive as stolen.” 

Petty? There was nothing petty about that at all! It was straight up mean! Almost cruel! How could Jaehyun do that to his own cousin--his family? He wasn’t unprovoked, but nothing Taeil did or said deserved for him to get thrown in jail.

“How could you do that to a member of your own family, Jaehyun? If you were to get mad at me, would you do something like that, too?” Your mind had already wanted to make him out to be a bad person if it would help you confront him, but there he was convincing you himself. 

“What? Y/N, no! Please don’t make this more than what it is,” he pleaded, squeezing the armrests tighter. “Taeil and I have our issues, and I know I went too far. But I would never hurt you like that.” You didn't want to believe him, but the sincerity in his eyes instantly calmed you against your will. “In hindsight it was not the right thing to do. I admit it. But I truly didn’t know Mark was using the cars and had been for some time apparently. And if Mark needs a car, why didn’t you just tell me? I have plenty he could borrow. They’re all nicer than what Taeil was rolling around in anyway.”

Your eyes narrowed, the brief reassurance you felt from him fleeting at his flippant remark. “Mark and Taeil have had a relationship with one another since way before you came into the picture,” you snapped. “Taeil knew Mark when he was still in diapers. He looks up to Taeil like an older brother. Whenever Mark needs brotherly advice, Taeil is always there to lead or guide him. I was happy their relationship picked back up once Taeil moved back here. He’s done more for my little brother than anyone else has. And to think that you almost put that in jeopardy.”

Seemingly having touched a nerve, Jaehyun's nostrils flared slightly when he sighed. “I apologize, Y/N. I really am sorry. The charges were dropped and Mark has nothing on his record.” Your eyes followed his hands as he let go of the armrests and reconnected them with yours. “I promise I will make it up to Mark. And you. We can move on from this.”

Move on from this? Like it was just that simple? Your brother was handcuffed and thrown into the back of a cop car for no reason. It was something totally preventable if Jaehyun hadn’t been an asshole in the first place. And even if he had known Mark was driving the cars, he would have just put a report out on a day he knew Taeil was driving one of them. It would have been easy for him to figure out. Taeil wasn’t that hard to follow.

To follow…

Your eyes quickly shot back up to meet his, startling him back a bit. The words you spoke next came out in a sizzling string, climbing their way out from being forced into the dark corners of your mind. “I find it really hard to believe that you had no knowledge of Taeil letting Mark borrow the cars when you seem to keep tabs on everyone else connected to me.”

You hadn’t wanted to outright accuse him like that in case you were wrong about everything, but the anger growing inside you had finally taken over. You couldn’t take it back. And now the thread that held together your relationship with your fiancé was being tested.

Jaehyun’s mouth opened and closed in shock as his eyes flickered with confusion and something else you couldn’t quite place. You wanted to say it was fear. “What is that supposed to mean?” he asked, his tone a cross between offended and worried.

You stood up from the rocking chair, pushing him out of the way to move towards the crib. You retrieved the envelope you dropped inside of it and shoved it into his hands. Standing to his feet, he looked at the envelope like it was an unidentified object never before seen on planet earth. And then his eyes went blank.

He walked over to the other side of the room and simply placed the envelope on the fully stocked bookshelf without any attempt to open it. Aghast, your eyebrows went high into your hairline. “So you’re just not going to open it?”

“Yes,” he said too simply.

Your fists balled at your sides. “And why not?”

“Don’t need to see what I already know is in there.”

You hiccuped. A premature sob getting stuck inside your throat.

“Didn’t think it would show up again after Jeno lost it.”

The room was spinning. You needed to grab onto the railing of the crib for support. Jeno? No, you had received the envelope from Doyoung who had supposedly received it from Winwin. Wait! Was that why Jeno’s eyes grew wide when he looked at it on the staircase? Was this the reason he quit his job so suddenly? Nothing was adding up. “H-how do you know the contents belong to Jeno?” you asked, trying to keep your voice steady.

“Are there photos of Kun and some random woman in there?”

“Yes,” you answered him shakily.

“Jeno’s photos.”

Eyes glazed over, you stared at your fiancé standing across from you as your train of thought went back to the dark edges of your mind. For a moment you felt weak, and you thought your legs were going to give out beneath you. Jaehyun had thought the same thing, for he was at your side in an instant with a hand on your back, coaxing you to sit back down in the rocking chair.

“No. I’m standing,” you said firmly, your strength returning with full force, reignited by his audacity to touch you right now. You jerked away from him and walked over to the bookshelf. You aggressively grabbed the envelope off it and opened it before him. You held up the photos of Kun and the woman before throwing them down onto the floor. You pulled out the rest of the photos taken earlier today and threw those down as well before balling up the entire envelope in your hands. “Make this make sense, Jaehyun. Make it all make sense!” you yelled at him then threw the wad of paper at his chest, where it bounced off and unceremoniously landed at his feet.

Unflinching, he swallowed thickly as he studied the contents of the envelope on the floor. “The envelope did feel a bit thick. I now see why Jeno quit so suddenly.”

Jeno, Jeno, Jeno! Why did this all keep going back to Jeno? “What are you saying,” you demanded slowly.

“He was sloppy. Or careless. Maybe he did it on purpose.” He toed one of the photos on the floor that had been facing downwards and turned it over with his shoe. “I see he had these taken today. They never crossed my desk, but somehow ended up in your hands. You were never supposed to see them.”

Your throat became tight and you felt tears pricking at the corners of your eyes. Involuntarily, you sat back down onto the rocking chair as your body betrayed you. You were weak. You could no longer stand because he had just admitted it in less than so many words. It wasn’t a complete confession, but it was all you needed to confirm what you desperately didn’t want to believe. You didn’t like the sound of where any of this was going, but you still wanted him to continue, to say he had a perfectly good and logical explanation for why Jeno would have all of those photos taken. But you couldn’t say anything, not immediately. You were rendered speechless by the truth you so hopelessly wanted to deny.

“Jaehyun,” you said barely above a whisper. “I’m going to need a little more than that.” He looked at you, his eyes soft with the unspoken words he saw mirrored inside your own--with the fear of knowing how this was going to end. “If you don't want to start with the ones from today,” you continued, “then start with Kun. Just tell me something.”

He took a breath and ran his hands through his hair. A gesture that forewarned he was about to unload a massive amount of unpleasant information. “Kun didn’t deserve you. He only appeared to be faithful to you," he said when he began. But of course, this was something you already knew--facts already revealed to the both of you outside of Ten's clinic the day of the paternity tests. "The woman in the photo was a fling from his past," he continued. "They started hooking up again towards the tail end of your relationship.”

A fling from Kun's past? You knew Kun had been in other relationships before you, but the two of you made a point never to bring up past relationships while you were together. You didn't want to talk about your exes for obvious reasons, but what reasons did Kun have? From what you knew, Kun refused to be stuck in the past and always looked at what was in front of him--who was in front of him. But then again, what did you actually know about Kun other than what he showed you on the surface? 

“And you became privy to this information how?” you asked Jaehyun. Obviously he had known for some time before the paternity testing since he was able to orchestrate having Kun's pictures taken.

“Remember our conference call last year when I asked you to review my contracts for the scripted series?”

“Yes.” 

“Well Jeno caught sight of Kun dropping you off in front of your office building that same day he brought over the contracts. A kiss on the lips between the two of you and he figured you were an item.”

A deep frown set into your face and your head tilted to the side in bafflement. In your head, you put together what Jaehyun had said and what you already knew and came up with your own conclusion. “So Jeno told you that I had a boyfriend, you became insanely jealous, and then decided to start following Kun around, waiting for a perfect moment to expose him as unfaithful?” 

“Not exactly." He took note of your skepticism denoted by your stance and quirked eyebrow. “I was happy you found someone. I figured the moments we shared before I left was the extent of our friendship and physical relationship. Especially since we hadn’t decided on if we were a 'we'. I truly was glad you found someone to be with," he reiterated his first statement while continuing to look straight into your eyes. "I was a little sad when I found out, but I knew that I should have worked harder to be with you or just have you wait for me. I had come to terms with losing you. I was going to move on. But then Jeno went for his regularly scheduled dental appointment and coincidentally his dentist that day was Dr. Qian.”

“You’re lying,” you said before your brain fully caught up with what was going on. It was too good to be true--too easy. Did he actually think you were going to fall for that? There was no way Kun could have fallen into Jaehyun’s hands so easily. 

“I really wish I was. Jeno usually sees the other dentist that works with Kun, but that day his partner was out and Kun was in charge of all the clients.” 

You were suspicious of his answer, but you remained silent with confirmation that you wanted him to continue given by your facial expression.

“Jeno, being the diligent assistant that he was, prodded for information regarding your relationship--without me knowing about any of this yet, I might add. But when Kun told him about the hot date with his girlfriend that same night, imagine his surprise when Kun named a woman that wasn’t you.”

Heat radiated through your body once more as you processed his words. “If you knew about him, then why did you keep that from me, Jaehyun? I could have gotten out of that relationship a long time ago!” The volume of your voice raised with every word. You couldn't fathom why he would do that to you. Everything that happened up until now could have been avoided had he just told you when he found out. But instead, purposefully or not, he wronged you by keeping it a secret.

“I had every intention of telling you," he said, holding his arms open in surrender. "I just didn’t know how to do it. If I told you then, you would have accused me of snooping like you are now. Or you would have gotten mad at me and said I was trying to come between your relationship or something, like lying to win you over. And you seemed happy with him, so why would I ruin that for you? I was stuck between multiple options.” He let his hands fall back to his sides in exasperation.

“So instead of telling me, you decided to take matters upon yourself anyway and have the man followed by your henchman, Jeno and Yangyang, all the way to his fake convention tour?” you interrogated him. Jaehyun finally broke the eye contact he held with you by looking down at the floor and rubbed his neck. The guilt etched onto his face was not being masked one bit. Frustrated by his behavior, you reached out to him and yanked him closer to where you sat by his other hand. “Talk, dammit.”

He sighed and forced himself to look at you again, and swallowed thickly before continuing. “It was actually...an all expense paid vacation purchased by me.” 

You let go of his hand, stunned into silence as your breath caught in your throat. Your eyes held so much anguish and disgust. Disgust directed at him. It pained him to see it--to acknowledge that he was the one to make you look at him that way. He knew he had royally fucked up everything he was trying to build with you, and the only thing he could do in this situation that he caused was to completely come clean. “I figured that if I sent Kun away, I could come home and tell you everything I found out about him. And when you decided to leave him--”

“You would already be there to put my broken heart back together,” you finished for him. There was no point in sugar coating it, but it sounded so much harsher when you said it out loud. His face flushed with shame. He looked so sorry--so pitifully guilty. You had every impulse to get up and slap him right then, but you didn’t. Instead, you let yourself speak freely. “That was your master plan? To set Kun up so you could swoop in and fix me like I’m some kind of broken object?”

“No, Y/N, I--”

“I can’t believe you of all people would do this, Jaehyun.”

“I didn’t do it alone,” he disclosed in a panicked attempt to deflect some of the blame.

You wanted to slap him again for even trying. “Yeah, Jeno. I’m sure he did a lot following your orders--”

“It was Winwin, too. It was his idea.”

You frowned, confused. You had momentarily forgotten that Winwin was involved with all of this. It was his idea? That would explain the way he acted in court earlier that day. And you did recall Winwin saying that he was the one who sent Kun on the fake trip. Now that you thought about it, what Winwin had said in court sounded a lot like what Jaehyun had just told you. But how? You had only met Winwin when you began dating Kun. Which meant…

“How long have you known Winwin?”

Jaehyun took another deep breath. He seemed to do that everytime he was about to hit you with more unpleasant information. “Winwin was my assistant before Jeno. Before I met you. He quit because he couldn’t handle the job anymore. He ended up becoming a travel agent because that was all he could find. We’re still friends and we met up from time to time. I told him about you one day. About us. That I wanted us to be serious. And when I told him your name, he said he already knew you and that he already knew about Kun. So, I elicited his help and together we sent Kun on that phony trip.”

No thoughts. Head Empty. 

He already knew Winwin before you ever met either of them? The two of them were close enough with each other and became close enough to you to come up with this ridiculous plan to blackmail Kun? It was a really dumb way to avenge your honor. And you couldn’t tell if you were mad or happy after hearing all of what they did. You were...conflicted. Very. Conflicted.

“I..this explains a lot and so little at the same time,” you managed to say coming out of your stupor. “I would have never guessed the two of you were once friends. The way you hid it from me...wow. Did you give Winwin acting advice?” you asked him bitterly.

“We never stopped being friends. He was willing to expose what type of man Kun really was so he played along as best as he could. We both thought we were doing the right thing. We just went about it in the wrong way. I’m really sorry, Y/N.” He looked at your hand, wanting so badly to reach out and hold it, but he knew you wouldn’t let him touch you right now. So instead he turned around and faced the wall on the opposite side of the room as he continued trying to exonerate himself. “In hindsight I should have just called you and told you. Whatever your decision would have been I would have supported it and moved on.” He walked toward the wall he was facing and placed his hand against it to support himself through his speech. “I truly thought I was doing the right thing. If I hadn’t screwed up the timing then my blackmail plot would have worked, haha...” He laughed after he said it, but there was no feeling in it whatsoever. “But then again it wouldn’t have mattered. I let Kun extend his vacation for a whole month with plans of getting back to you as quickly as I could so I could tell you all of this. I just needed him away from you for as long as possible so you would forget him by the time I came home.” He turned back around to face you. “But I was two months too late and already sixth in line. I didn’t think I would need to compete with any of the other guys for your heart.”

Sixth in line.

Suddenly, you found yourself gripping the armests of the rocking chair as your ears honed in on his last few sentences. You processed what he just said, repeating it a million times in your head until it finally clicked into place. You were a pretty sharp and smart individual. You earned several academic achievement awards and scholarships in college, graduated at the top of your class in Law school, passed the Bar on your first attempt, and you were highlighted as one of the top entertainment lawyers in your area. So your brain quickly connected the scattered dots after your eyes went down to the floor and you saw the other pictures you had carried inside the envelope. 

Your eyes went back up to look at him. “You knew about them before you came back, too.” 

“FuCk.” 

Jaehyun turned around and walked out into the hallway with you following without warning. He had gotten caught in another lie and couldn’t face you anymore.

Now sitting alone inside the nursery, you felt your anxiety go through the roof. Your hands began to shake and your bottom lip trembled as you held back the urge to scream.

“Come back here...” It came out choked and barely loud enough for him to hear wherever he had gone. “Come back here, Jaehyun!” Your rage took over and you were able to yell for him as loudly as you could.

You got up from the rocking chair and made your way out into the hallway to search for your fleeing fiancé. Luckily, you didn’t have to walk far. He was pacing up and down the hallway between the nursery and the master bedroom. His back was tense at his shoulders and his fists were tightly clenched at his sides. You knew words weren’t going to stop him, so you walked to him and forcibly grabbed his shirt to turn him around and face you. When you did, you saw his eyes up close. They were red with tears begging to be let loose from his ducts. They spoke volumes. Within them you saw fear and shame doing a tantalizing dance together with immense sorrow. 

Jaehyun hated it. He hated the way you looked at him like he was some kind of monster. Your eyes read back to him anger, betrayal, and genuine suffering. He couldn’t bear to have you look at him like that any longer and wanted to prove to you that he wasn’t a monster. But when he quietly spoke your name and tried to caress your shoulder, you immediately smacked his hand away. 

“Y/N, I’m so sorry.” A tear ran down his face. 

“No, Jaehyun! You do not get to cry!” You pushed him away from you by his chest, causing him to stumble backwards a bit. “How long? How long have you had YangYang following me around and secretly taking photos of me with the others? And don’t bullshit me. I want the whole truth!”

“Since I sent Kun away, okay! I knew you’d try and fill some preexistent void...” he trailed off and rubbed his wet chin, and then wiped his hand on his pants. “So I had you followed. What if you had gotten involved with someone similar to Kun? Or what if you found someone not good enough to be—“

“So the fuck what, Jaehyun! It’s my life and you had no reason to meddle with any part of it. Did you manipulate the other guys, too? Did you find a way to advertise phony trips to them, too?”

“No! I never meddled with anyone else, only Kun. At some point I realized those momentary flings were something you needed. A release. And by the time I had enough of your dick hopping with guys that weren’t me, who didn’t want to be with you long term except for maybe two of them, that’s when I decided to become the last participant in your ongoing sexcapade. I may have been sixth in line to get to your heart, but I was determined to be the first one you chose to share it with completely.”

“Then why didn’t you stop having me followed around?” You were teetering on the edge of an emotional cliff at this point. You felt a small kick inside you, your little bee signaling to you that if you kept this up she’d physically join you sooner rather than later, but you ignored her warning. 

“I had every intention to have you not followed anymore. After I returned early from filming, I decided to try really hard to make you see that I was the man you wanted and needed. But then you ghosted me when you decided you wanted to try again with Kun. After all the things I did that you were unaware of, you still chose to be with him. I could have sent you the photos then, but I didn’t want to hurt you like that after you and I had just emotionally and physically reconnected. Plus if I did, we wouldn’t be having the conversation now after all that has happened between us this far.”

“Tch. Of course we wouldn’t be like we are now! Jaehyun, look at us! I wish you would have shown me those photos when you wanted to because I’d be done with both you and Kun. For good. It would have saved me a lot of tears and heartache.”

Delusional, he was genuinely shocked at what he heard about you being done with him. He thought he may have finally gotten through to you with his ridiculous explanations. “You don’t mean that, Y/N. We would have worked through it after you heard where I was coming from and my reasoning behind the decisions I was making--”

“I don’t mean it? You don’t think extortion and manipulation isn’t a reason to cut ties with someone?”

“Yes, but I had to do what needed to done--“

“You didn’t need to have me followed or exploit Kun. My life isn’t a movie where you can just play whatever role you feel like!”

Those words cut him deep, and his countenance flickered with pain. “Y/N, I’m sorry--“

“Stop saying that! Because if you meant it you wouldn’t still be having me followed to this day! You were the last person I thought would hurt me this much!” 

You had not cried once up until this point, but the dam had finally been breached. Tears fell fast from your eyes as your heart shattered into a million pieces. You covered your face with your hands as you sobbed uncontrollably. Your baby was shifting inside you, agitated by all of the stress you were putting on her. And the thought of her safety was the only thing keeping you from falling to your knees.

“I never meant to hurt you like this...” He said as his own heart crumbled from watching himself single handedly destroy yours. “But...even after all I’ve done,” he continued, though you couldn’t imagine what more he could possibly have to say. “I’m still better than all the other guys you’re still hung up on.”

“I’m not hung up on anyone! I said yes to being your fiancée, remember?” You aggressively removed your hand adorned with the beautiful ring from your face and held it up to his. “I said yes without hesitation. But knowing what I know now, maybe I shouldn’t have. Even the fourth guy in line wouldn’t have hurt me this badly!”

Jaehyun’s eyes grew wide then narrowed before he quickly rushed a hand through his hair. It had become increasingly unkempt since the beginning of the argument. “Who, Taeyong? He wouldn’t know how to take care of you even if he tried. He can’t even properly manage his own bar.” You didn’t even ask how he knew which exact guy was fourth and let him continue talking. “This is actually his third attempt at a bar. His first two bars closed shortly after opening because of the shady dealings he was doing to keep the place afloat. He’s managed to make it past six months now because he was threatened again with more jail time. Plus you started sleeping with him again, and of course he believed he would have a life with you. So that forced him to start changing his way of living.”

“Well it’s good to know I’ve had such a positive impact on someone trying to turn their life around. At least he was honest with me about the type of person he was before and after he met me. All my other partners seem to have been more honest with me than you ever were.”

“Not the six foot phony who was one-third of your impromptu threesomes,” he said with a scoff before wiping any remaining tears he had with the back of his hand. “He’s engaged, Y/N. Has been for an entire year.” 

“What?” you asked incredulously.

“Yeah. The troll is afraid of commitment. But you already knew that considering you had multiple rendezvous with him while I was away. You were so devastated to hear Kun cheated on you after all this time, meanwhile you were the other woman for Johnny.”

“I didn’t know they were engaged! If I knew that I wouldn’t have slept with him again. But she knew about us before that. It’s not my fault he didn’t tell me everything about them.”

“Still didn’t make it right. Especially since you were also cheating on Kun at the same time.”

“I know it’s not right, Jaehyun! Why are you trying to redirect the conversation to make me look like a vile person?!” He didn’t have an immediate response for you, so you decided to keep going in your state of turbulent emotions. If he wanted to be nasty with his accusations, then you were going to be nasty right back. “Does Johnny intimidate you? You think that if you hadn’t come back or if I wasn’t with Kun, then maybe I would have ended up with Johnny instead? He is my type, after all, which is why I slept with him so many times. He’s tall, handsome, well-endowed, and has a dazzling smile just like you. Did you view him as your main competition?”

“Now you’re just saying stuff to try and piss me off,” he said with a set scowl on his face. “I don’t need to compete with someone who voluntarily cheats on his girlfriend. If the two of you had gotten together, he would have done the same thing to you and you would be in the same situation you were with Kun. Look around, Y/N. All those guys are terrible compared to me!”

You crossed your arms over your chest and shifted your weight onto one foot. “Fine. Since you seem to have some dirt on every single guy I slept with. Enlighten me. Tell me all the information you paid Jeno, YangYang, and whoever the fuck else you hired to find. Because I know you didn’t try to find anything out for yourself. Tell me all the secrets Yuta, Taeil, and Doyoung are keeping from me.”

Accepting your challenge, he began divulging facts without hesitation. “This is a secret not even Yuta knows, but he has another kid out there in the world. Maybe more, who knows. Jeno went above and beyond my authority and paid his ex-wife for the details. The kid’s mom had been trying to reach out to Yuta for a while, but the ex always intercepted and kept her quiet.” He saw your face fall, as you were very affected by this tidbit of information. To console you he said, “I’ll admit I created a monster with Jeno, and it wasn’t until Mark got arrested that he regained his good natured consciousness.”

“Why haven’t you disclosed this information to Yuta?”

“I wasn’t even supposed to know about that. Besides, you and the baby are my top priority. Not him.” Jaehyun leaned against the banister of the railing overlooking the first floor of his estate.

“I’m going to tell him,” you asserted.

“Suit yourself. I don’t care anymore,” he said with an indifferent shrug of his shoulders. 

“Well, what about Taeil? Did he steal your girlfriend when he was younger? Is that why you’re making sure he doesn’t end up with me either?”

“No.” He said affronted. 

“Then why?”

He looked down as he ran his hand back and forth along the polished wood of the banister. “Because I hired the love of his life to be my lawyer, pursued her situationally and then romantically, maybe fathered her first born child, and then I told her I loved her and proposed.”

“That’s not what I asked nor is it new information. Shit, everyone at the baby shower could have figured that out—they probably did figure that out.”

“No, it’s not. But to add insult to injury, he can’t provide for you like I can. Taeil’s broke. He’s a terrible accountant that made some piss poor investments in the past. He has no money. No savings. Nothing tucked under his mattress. He drives my cars because he can’t afford to buy his own. His house? Mine. His gym membership? He’s a guest on my account. Those bad investments? Good investments now since I got my hands on them. The only reason he was able to successfully get you in bed was because he moved back here while I was busy filming my movie; before I could convince him otherwise. He was the one that recommended I hire you as my lawyer. He just didn’t expect that I’d steal your heart, too.”

You couldn’t believe what you were hearing, but some things were starting to make sense. “So…,” you began as you spoke your thought process out loud. “When Taeil went to study abroad where you stayed, he lived with you and confided to you about our failed relationship. And then when you saw the opportunity, you sought me out and continued to pursue me even though you knew about his strong feelings towards me?” Jaehyun looked to you and said nothing, affirming your assumption. “You’re sick.”

“It sounds worse when you say it that way. But my feelings have always been genuine. I originally sought out your professionalism and just so happened to fall in love with you while we worked together. I didn’t fall in love with Taeil’s memory of a long lost girlfriend. I fell in love with a respectable, successful, and mature woman. Different time. Different place. Different feelings.”

You hated that he was right. He didn’t make himself fall in love with you just so he could steal you away behind Taeil’s back. He fell in love with you naturally. But as you have come to find out, he loved you a bit too much and was willing to do whatever it took to make him look like the better man.

Feeling your heart wavering, you squeezed your arms tighter against your chest before you asked him about the last person he supposedly had information on. “And Doyoung?”

“The only thing I have on him...” He hesitated mid-sentence as if he was contemplating whether or not he wanted to say what he was going to tell you. “...is that he pawned the ring he purchased for you. He was going to propose to you after graduation, but Taeyong got in the way.”

You audibly hissed as you violently sucked the air between your teeth, causing Jaehyun to flinch slightly. “Jeno didn’t tell you this,” you told him with a clenched jaw. “You’re lying to me again?”

“I’m not lying. And it wasn’t Jeno. Ten told me after the paternity test.” 

“Liar,” you huffed out. You could feel your body temperature rising as your breaths became shorter.

He let out a dispiriting chuckle to himself. “Apparently you didn’t know, but he’s Team Jaehyun. Has been for quite some time now. He also got caught up in this ‘who’s the daddy’ drama and couldn’t help but dip his toes in. So he gave me some insight. He joked that the last men standing would be me and Doyoung. Even if the baby is for neither of us, we’d still be the last two actually vying for your heart.”

“Doyoung and I despise each other,” you hiccuped.

“And you despise me, too, now. So I guess Ten was way off with his assumption.”

“Just shut up!”

All of this had to be a lie! There was know way Ten had told Jaehyun that Doyoung was going to propose to you after you graduated law school. If Ten did know about it, all the way up to the detail about Doyoung pawning the ring, why hadn’t he ever told you? And why did he tell Jaehyun? Was Ten working with him, too? And how much of a financial hole was Doyoung in that he needed to sell the ring he was going to use to profess his undying love--

Jaehyun noticed the way your breathing had become irregular, and urgently pushed himself away from the banister when he registered the frantic look on your face as the cogs whirled inside your mind at the thought of Doyoung wanting to propose to you. “Y/N, listen to me. I know this is--“ 

“Sorry, pretty boy. Your time is up.”  

Equally stunned by the interruption, both you and Jaehyun whipped your heads around towards the staircase to see Yuta making his entrance onto the scene. You were so caught up in Jaehyun’s bullshit that you had momentarily forgotten he was still waiting for you outside. The tightness in your chest loosened at the sight of him, and you were thankful he kept his word by coming to your rescue at the right time.

“Y/N, it’s time to go?”

Jaehyun’s narrowed eyes darted quickly between you and the other man standing before him. “How long have you been in here?”

Yuta made his way over to you and gently uncrossed your arms that were still pressed tightly against your chest. “Long enough to know I have another kid somewhere out there. Not the way I wanted to find out, but then again, you can’t always get what you want.” While looking into your glossy eyes, he cuffed his hand around one of yours and let you squeeze it as hard as you needed to in order to keep hold of your sanity. He could feel the fast pace of your heightened pulse through your palm. “My ex-wife is pretty trash, huh?” He asked, then turned his head to face Jaehyun to now look directly into his eyes. “Don’t make the same mistake I did and marry the wrong person, Y/N.”

Beneath that cold, blank expression, you knew Jaehyun was fuming. You, his fiancée, had come unannounced to confront him, and now stood in his home holding hands with another man who also held claim to a piece of your heart. You stared at him as he seethed in silence, letting every letter of Yuta’s words sink into his prefrontal cortex.

“Don’t call me, text, email, or anything,” you commanded Jaehyun after you were able to find your breath. “I need time away from you to think. I need time for myself, my health, and my baby. Our possible baby.” You pointed between all three of you within the space. “Just let me think. No matter how long it takes.” You paused briefly to shift a bit of your weight onto Yuta, as you were now too tired to stand on your own. “If you want any little bit of hope that I’ll stay with you after all this, you’ll do these things for me.”

With your other hand you reached out to Yuta’s, and he proceeded to help you walk down the stairs and out of the mansion.

There wasn’t anything he could say. The only thing Yuta could do was listen to the sniffling of your nose and breathy sighs as you cried softly beside him while he drove you home. You had a great deal of things on your mind and you would talk when you were ready. He himself had a lot on his mind. His ex-wife had been blocking him from seeing his other child. The only reason he could think of for her to do something like that was so she could secure their son’s inheritance, to ensure that he got all of it without having to split it with another sibling. He didn’t put it past her. She already tried to wring his bank account dry during the divorce. This made him wonder what his ex had in mind to do if he was the father of your baby, too. He needed to do something about that conniving woman and get his son away from her before she did something else he wouldn’t be able to forgive.

You sighed heavily, snapping Yuta out of his thoughts. From the corner of his eye he saw you wipe your nose with one of the tissues from the packet he got for you out of his glove compartment. Seeing you like this was so upsetting to him. He was used to seeing you as a strong, independent woman who didn’t have any problem taking care of herself. To see someone like you so broken up because of another person made him so mad. He should have punched Jaehyun like he originally wanted to.

“I’ll stay with you until your brother gets back,” Yuta said, breaking the stagnant air around you.

You shook your head. “No, your family needs you.”

“Are you sure?”

You weren’t. You weren’t sure if you actually wanted to be alone until Mark came back. You weren’t sure you could be alone. But you were sure that you didn't want to drag your brother or Yuta any further down this deep pit of despair you dug for yourself. You didn’t want to go home anymore. You didn’t want to be there alone with your thoughts and you didn’t want to be there with Yuta who had his own issues that needed to be sorted out right away. But where could you go? The man you thought you could trust your heart to just ripped it out of your chest and stomped on it. There was nowhere else for you to go but home to cry on your brother, but you refused to keep stressing him out. So you would have to go to a place where you could cry on someone else who actually had a role in your messed up storyline. Two of which would more than likely turn you away, and one of them would definitely welcome you with open arms against their better judgement. And the other would…

“I want you to take me somewhere else instead,” you answered Yuta’s question.

“What? Where?”

“I just don’t want to go home. Please, Yuta?”

He sighed and scratched the back of his head. “I’m going to have to charge you cab fare.”

Because of Yuta’s joke, a small smile was able to make its way onto your tear stained face. “Thank you. Take the exit after the next one and then make a left at the light.”

Yuta followed your instructions as you directed him to your destination. He had an idea on where you were going and his assumption grew stronger when he began to drive through a residential area. You pointed to the house you wanted him to drop you off in front of and he pulled up to the curb to park his car.

“That’ll be $36.00, please,” he said, reaching out his hand towards you. You ignored his antics and began taking off your seatbelt. “Whose house is this anyway?”

“You’ll see.”

“Oh no. I’m not letting you out until you tell me.” To reinforce his point, he pressed the button to re-lock his car doors that had automatically unlocked when he put his car into park.

“I’ll be fine. What more can be done to me after what I just went through?” You unlocked the door manually and then struggled your way out of the car by yourself. By the time Yuta had taken off his own seatbelt to stop you, you were already halfway to the front door of the house, so he gave up and let himself watch you go up the rest of the way and ring the doorbell. After opening the door, the owner of the house’s hands went immediately to your puffy cheeks as the sight of your distressing appearance suddenly caused him to become overcome with urgency.

Yuta craned his neck as he tried to see who it was you chose to use as a supportive pillar. When he got a good look at them he made a hum of enlightenment before sitting back properly in his seat. “I was expecting to see her mother, not the rabbit.”

You were immediately ushered into the house and made to sit on the living room sofa. Doyoung left you briefly to make herbal tea after you accepted his offer for a cup. Once done, he set the cup and saucer into your hands, and then he sat down beside you on the couch with his elbows resting on his legs. “What happened to you?” he asked you after waiting for you to take your first sip of the tea. After your visit with him to the ER earlier that day, he assumed you had gone home to rest like the doctor prescribed.

“I found out who really had the pictures taken.” Doyoung didn’t say anything, allowing you to continue when you were ready. He watched as you took another sip of your tea, noticing the way your hand slightly trembled when you placed it back down onto the saucer. “It was Jaehyun.”

As if he had already known the answer, Doyoung closed his eyes and inhaled slowly. “I figured as much.”

“How long have you known?” Leave it to Doyoung to be so perceptive. He should quit being a lawyer and become a detective. 

“I found the pictures the day you had us all tested. I put the pieces together a little bit before your baby shower.”

“Why didn’t you say anything?”

Doyoung looked down shamefully at his hands. “You ask that like you were actually willing to talk to me.”

“It didn’t stop you from giving me the envelope.”

He moved one of his hands to push back his hair from his face. “I’m sorry about that. My mind was grappling with so many emotions that day. I wanted to talk to you about everything in person, but he kept getting in my way.” From the way he spit out the word, you knew he was talking about Jaehyun without having to say his name.

“I’m glad you did it when you did,” you told him as you gazed dismally into the orange liquid inside your cup. “I was able to use what you gave me to confront him and he revealed his true self.”

Doyoung’s eyes moved from your face to your hand that held the saucer. You were still wearing the engagement ring from Jaehyun. He didn’t want to make any assumptions about where your relationship with him stood. “Are you still…” he asked tentatively.

You followed his gaze and inferred what he was asking you. “I don’t know,” you said after taking a deep breath. “I just...he told me a lot of things. I don’t know if I’ll be able to trust him again.”

“I see,” was all he could say to you in that moment.

There was another small period of silence between you so you could drink more of your tea, but in actuality you were mustering up the nerve to ask him this next question: “Is it true that you were going to propose to me?”

Doyoung’s entire body went stiff beside you. And you swore you saw his eyebrows hit the sky. “Who told you that lie?” 

You turned your body slightly to face him more and looked into his eyes for the first time since entering his home. “Everybody has been lying to me lately and I just want to have an honest conversation with someone. So is it true?”

“Did Jaehyun tell you that to mess with your head? It’s obviously false,” he said, becoming defensively indignant.

“Ten told him.” 

Doyoung didn’t respond right away, and so you knew it was the truth.

“How much money did you lose on the ring?”

“Why does that matter? You still left me anyway, so I would have had to sell it regardless.”

And here you thought the two of you would finally be able to put aside your differences.

“For fucks sake,” you gritted and practically threw the tea cup and saucer onto his coffee table. “I’m sorry I left you, okay! Is that what you want me to say? Stop reminding me of one of the biggest mistakes I've ever made! So can we please have a conversation like two human beings?”

Something you had just said lit a flame inside him and he could no longer hold back all the conflicting feelings he kept inside him. “Fine! If you want me to be honest, yes! I was going to propose to you. You were my everything just like you were to all these other guys that worship the ground you walk on for some reason. And I just don’t know why it has to be like this!” He took a second to take a shaky breath as tears began to prickle behind his eyes. “Because you were with me! You were supposed to be with me forever! But then you just left me to be with Taeyong, and I made myself hate you all this time even though I was the one who told you to go!” He hastily wiped his eyes with his sleeve before any of his tears could fall. “Fuck!”

You stared at him wide eyed in disbelief at the fact that he was finally being honest about himself. But then you shook your head when something other than his current state came to your attention. “Was it really Taeyong or were you too afraid that I might have rejected your proposal to be with someone else?”

Doyoung sniffed and wiped his eyes once more. “Don’t psychoanalyze me right now.”

“I’m right, aren’t I?” He responded by rolling his eyes at you, making you scoff. “You know, you're the whole reason I have commitment issues. You’re the literal reason I ran into Taeyong’s arms. But he turned out to be crazy, so I left him. Then the next thing I knew I was  working with two guys who only wanted me for my body rather than have a functioning relationship. I said I was fine with that, but I really wasn’t.  So I found a seemingly good natured man to settle down with, but I was still unhappy with him because I wanted to try the no sex thing like an idiot. If you hadn’t run me away in the first place, we’d be married by now with our joint practice like we used to talk about, and I wouldn’t have come out of some crazy sex bender not knowing who the father of my daughter is!”

“I know, I know! And I’m so sorry!”

“Are you?!”

“Yes! And I wish I could take it all back!” He cradled his face in his hands as he fought back a sob. “I never stopped loving you, Y/N.”

“You made sure I believed otherwise.”

He slid his hands down and off his face. “Because I’m stupid.” 

You shook your head at him again. “No, I’m stupid. I still don’t know who my baby’s father is because I’m too scared to look at the results.”

Doyoung’s eyes widened slightly. “You have the results and never told any of us you got them?”

“I know I’m terrible for keeping everyone in limbo. I wasn’t ready before. But now...I think I am. I have to be.” Doyoung watched quietly as you lifted up your left hand and twisted off the engagement ring on your finger. “Knowing who he is determines how I’m going to move forward with my life,” you continued and placed the ring onto the coffee table next to the small puddle of tea you spilled. “And I need to be able to face head on whatever fate the universe has chosen for me and my child.”

Dun dun duuuunnnnn!

For other chapters, see the masterlist.

[a-pervy-nerdy]

Self Indulgent Shigaraki Nonsense Part 5

Tomura Shigaraki x pregnant!reader

A/N: Oh wow part 5 and I'm still not done with this.

Warnings: Emotions? Cursing?

You tossed and turned in your sleep, groaning and moaning in frustration. Your joint ached, and fatigue plagued your body. You tried everything you could to get to sleep but nothing was working and on top of your aching body, the nearly fully developed fetus in you thought now was the perfect time for exercise.

Tomura laid beside you, having fallen asleep hours ago. But your movement and sounds of anguish gently woke him up. Groggy and a little frustrated he looked over his shoulder to see your upset form shift back and forth.

"Is it the baby?" He asked in a low, hoarse voice. You huffed.

"Everything hurts and they keep moving around and I'm exhausted but I can't fall asleep!" You cried. You felt silly crying like this to Tomura, you felt like a little kid throwing a tantrum. Weren't you supposed to be the mild mannered, mature and wise mother?

Tomura turned over to face you, his gloved hand reaching out and planting firmly on your enlarged belly. He gently ran circles around it, trying to sooth the mysterious being inside. He had grown used to this routine, grown used to the idea of you being pregnant. But the idea of being father and actually having a baby was still out of his reach. For now, he was content to have you tucked away and all to himself where he knew you would be safe.

"My fucking BONES hurt." You complained as you rubbed circles into your eyes. He chuckled at your declaration for a moment before wrenching himself from the bed and shuffling into the kitchen where you could hear him rustling about. You laid there and closed your eyes, trying to emulate the soothing sensation of rubbing circles across your belly. They clearly liked it better when Tomura did it. You didn't even know how they knew the difference.

"Here." Tomura entered the room with a hot cup of tea in hand. He sat it down on your bedside table as you struggled to sit up properly. You laid against the head board and slowly took the mug. "Careful. It's still hot." He noted, sitting on the edge of the bed.

"Thank you."

"Mhm." He watched you blow and sip on the tea, running his gloved hand up and down your calf.

"This is new." You scoffed.

"What?"

"You taking care of me." You smiled.

"What are you talking about? I've taken care of you before. Remember Jaku?"

"Ugh, I don't want to." You cringed. A particularly rough battle had left you broken and beaten black and blue. If it wasn't for Tomura, you would have been dead. But that was before you knew he loved you. Before you knew you loved him. "You're right you have taken care of me. But not like this before." Your smiled made him blush.

"This is a different situation." He explained. You chuckled.

"I know." You finished your tea and he took it from you to put the mug in the kitchen sink. But before he left the room you called to him. "Hey...Tomura?"

"Yeah?"

"Thank you."

"Sure."

"No. Really. Thank you. For everything." He watched you for a moment, engraving that sweet smile of yours into his brain forever. Before nodding and walking back to the kitchen. You adjusted yourself, laying back down and watching him come back in and lay in bed. You watched him, your hand reaching up to gently scratch down his bare back. A comforting gesture he loves but will never out right ask for. It put him to sleep quick, and soon you followed him.

When you woke up the next morning, you found yourself alone in bed. You struggled to get up to use the bathroom and wash your face before waddling into the kitchen. A note had been placed over wads of cash on the kitchen counter. The note read:

I'm sorry there was an emergency and I had to leave early this morning. I left money on the counter for breakfast. Take it easy. I'll see you soon. I love you.

- Tomura

Money for breakfast? You looked down at the wads of 20 dollar bills and giggled. Tomura still had very little grasp when it came to money. He just never had to really worry about it. It's not that he wasn't good at budgeting or math, but, this was enough to pay the mortgage and groceries for the rest of the month. Some breakfast you'd be having. You took the cash and put it away where the rest of it went. You were to pay for everything in cash. The mortgage, the car payments, groceries, furniture, absolutely everything. As if that didn't make you look suspicious enough. But Tomura insisted on it because it wouldn't leave a paper trail to your name.

Your new name would have no debt no credit, nothing. It had to be perfect and unremarkable.

You fed, washed, and clothed yourself which took all morning now but finally you made up your mind to take a short walk to the local grocery store and do some shopping. Normal house wife shit, right?

So you waddled your fat ass out the door to take a leisurely stroll all the way to the super market. You looked up and watched grey clouds gently float above, bringing a cool breeze and the faint smell of rain in the air. You made it to the store before it started to sprinkle. The bright and fresh atmosphere of the store made you uneasy. Public spaces still made you feel out of place. Suspicious. Like you still had to hide.

You paused in the middle of an aisle, sudden movement stopping you dead in your tracks. The baby had been moving less, and the false contractions had started. Your midwife had taught you that this was normal, you still weren't due for a while longer, there was no need to worry. But they were a big pain in the ass.

You held your belly and took a deep breath. It soon passed and you went back to searching for your grocery list.

"First one?" A voice asked. You turned and found a young woman standing there pushing a stroller. She gave a friendly smile.

"Oh, yes."

"How exciting. I had a lot of false contractions with my first too. How far along are you?"

"I guess about, eight months. Give or take a week or two."

"You sure look it. I'm kim by the way, nice to meet you." She held out a hand and you shook it. Her bright smile and relaxed attitude bring comfort and warmth. You looked down to the stroller, an infant cradled towards Kim, and an absent-minded toddler glaring at the floor sat in the front. He angrily pouted at the ground, before his gaze slowly came up to you.

"Nice to meet you, I'm Y/-...." fuck! What was your new name again? You almost blew your cover. "Ota." You remembered. Thank God.

"Your the new family down the road aren't you?" Kim nodded in recognition.

"Yeah, yeah. How long have you lived here?" You tried to make conversation.

"Oh I've lived here all my life."

"Wow."

"Yeah my husband and I met in high school here and been together ever since. He travels for work now though, so,"

"My husband travels too." You told her. Shit. Was that the right thing to say? Could you really call Shigaraki your, husband? What would he think about that? He'd probably be irritated you even bothered to socialize at all.

"Oh really? What does he do?" You paused.

"Uh, he works closely with heroes." You croaked.

"Oh like management er' whatever?" She was so nonchalant.

"Yeah, yeah. Real boring stuff." You agreed. 'Er' whatever' what a great way to put it.

"Yeah mine's a lawyer for cities suffering from 'big hero blow-outs' they call em'. He works with cities about destruction of public property and what not. I don't really know the details or anything but hey, maybe our guys have crossed paths a couple times! What did you say his name was?" Shit. Shit. Shit.

"Uh, Ota. Ota Kurai." You lied.

"Kurai...huh..." Kim thought for a moment, taking in a deep breath and sighing. "Well, that doesn't ring any bells. How long have you been together." Was this something you were supposed to lie about?

"Five years now, I think." You pondered.

"You think?" She chuckled at you.

"Yeah, it's hard to remember sometimes. All of a sudden we went from friends to more. Its difficult to explain." She smiled.

"Yeah, I understand. Well, I better be off. The boys need a nap before lunch. It was lovely meeting you, Ota."

"Likewise!" You smiled back.

"See you around."

"See ya." And with you that you went on shopping, a successful venture. You were lucky you were able to purchase an umbrella in the store, it was really coming down now. You waddled along the sidewalk, making your way back to the stretch of suburbs you occupied. As you walked the final stretch to your home, the wind began to pick up. Violently wrenching the umbrella out of your hand and throwing it behind you. You turned, panicked and now vulnerable to the heavy rain. It came down fast and hard, the droplets almost painful on your skin.

You turned around to find your umbrella flying through the air, tumbling over to a distant figure. A young man, no, a teenager. The kid snapped to attention, jogging for the object from under his own umbrella and quickly making his way back to you. You tensed up, the weight of your groceries, the rain, your condition. Clearly you were in distress. You cursed yourself. You were once a feared villain. You fought the greatest heroes Japan had to offer and lived to tell the tale. You were an activist, pioneer, warrior, leader. You had the scars to prove it. And now look at you. A helpless, pregnant house wife.

"Here miss!" The boy called. You sniffed and reached for it as he handed it to you.

"Thanks!" You barked, trying to shuffled off without anymore talk.

"Let me help you with that!" He insisted, taking your groceries from you and shielding you from anymore rain. You were soaked by now. You couldn't argue, he insisted and you had to admit that the help was nice. He walked you home, standing and waiting at your house's gate as you took back your bags from him.

"Thank you for your help." You tried to be polite.

"Sure thing miss. No trouble. Are you sure you got it?"

"Yes. Thank you." You insisted, turning back to disappear into your home. Only to find the front door open. You let out a startled gasp. A familiar figure stood in the doorway, dark eyes glaring at the boy behind you. Your eyes shuffled back and forth between him and the boy. Shigaraki wore a painfully mediocre disguise. A face mask, and a black wig. From far away he easily blended into a crowd. He was always good at hiding himself in a strange way. He was an oddly good actor.

"Sara. You should be more careful." He barked your fake name in a fake tone. Like he was a concerned husband.

"Sorry Kurai, I didn't think the storm would get this bad." You chuckled in a panic. He approached you, averting his gaze from the boy. Hiding his face and taking the bags from you. You turned back to the boy who's eye shifted from Shigaraki then back to you. "Thank you for your help. Here." You shuffled around in your purse before handing him a few hundred yen.

"Oh no Mrs, really it's fine."

"No. I insist." You huffed with a smile.

"Thank you. My names Sato by the way, I live just down the road."

"Nice meeting you Sato." You smiled and closed the gate before waddling back inside. You closed the door behind you, panting as you recovered from your adventure.

You watched Tomura remove his disguise in a frustrated huff before putting the groceries away. You leaned against the wall after shuffling into the kitchen, leaving water to fall from you and pool on the wood floor. Soon he turned to look back at you.

"I thought there was an emergency."

"False alarm." He muttered.

"Are you mad at me?" You asked. He paused and gave a frustrated huff.

"...I told you not to get friendly with people. That puts you in danger." You scoffed. "You're soaking wet, you better shower off before you catch a cold."

"I didn't have a choice, okay? It's not like I sought out his help! He was just there, he insisted he help! And yknow what, I can't say I didn't need it. Because I'm incapable of doing anything apparently!" You shouted. Oh shit. He angered you. You could see it in his eyes. He hates it when you get angry, it makes him uneasy. "And I'm a walking beacon of chit chat too! Everyone wants to talk to the new pregnant lady. Last week, I had fend off like four old ladies from touching my belly. And the week before that, the clerk at the bookstore kept trying to sell me these weirdly religious parenting books. And- And today even! Today some other mom stopped me to talk about my false contractions at the store and I almost forgot our names and I- I-" You're crying now. He hates seeing you crying more than he hates seeing you angry. He slowly approached you, watching as you sniffled and sobbed and wipped away your tears.

"Come on, let's get you comfortable." He guided you to the bathroom to help bathe you in a warm bath to calm your nerves and ease your aching body. You shuffled out into the living room, the warmth of your pajamas easing your tense feelings.

"She wasn't that bad." You mumbled.

"Hm?"

"The other mom at the grocery store today. She was actually nice. She has two boys. She was really chill."

"Mh."

"I told her you worked in management with heroes and you travel a lot." You chuckled to yourself. "Her husband works as a lawyer for cities regarding damage from heroes. She said you might have crossed paths." Tomura pause and flashed a goofy smile.

"You never know. Maybe we have." He joked. You laughed for a moment before finishing your bath and getting changed.

"How come you came back?"

"What do you mean?"

"Well usually you stay away. But you've been here so long I figured you'd have left by now so you don't take any chances getting caught. Why'd you come back?" Tomura starred at your stomach and placed his gloved hand over it before looking up at you.

"I'm just finishing a few preparations. But I've made plans so that I'll be able to stay longer than I usually do." He didn't answer your question.

"Plans? Like what?"

"Don't worry about it."

"Don't tell me you put Dabi in charge." He scoffed and rolled his eyes. "Toga? No!... Spinner!?"

"Y/N. Please." He begged.

"Sorry. But you never leave someone else in charge."

"Well now I have a reason. I'm...I'm taking a few months."

"What? But what about your work?"

"I'm not quiting. I'm still the true ruler. It's just a small...vacation. I can go back at any time if an emergency occurs. But for now, I'm staying here."

"You really miss me, don't you?" He pulled his hand away and rolled his eyes one more time before strolling away.

"Of course I miss you." He said it like it was a well known fact. "I miss you every second. I miss working with you. It's so frustrating without you. You understand, you got it. You always knew what needed to be done, what I was trying to do. Now it's like herding cats to get the simplest of tasks done sometimes. I mean you- you were always one step ahead. Half the time I didn't even need to ask you to do something you were already there. You were so smart and cunning and strong."

"And now I'm just a housewife..." He slowly turned to look at you. "I'm just the knocked up mistress you gotta hide."

"No. You know that's not what I meant."

"It's how you make me feel."

"Y/N..."

"I miss it too, y'know. Working with you, with everyone. I miss doing something that actually matters. I miss the planning, and the training, and the fighting. I miss it all. And now look at me. I couldn't even fucking walk home from the grocery store without needing to be rescued. It sucks, it really sucks. I know I chose this life. I know I chose...." Your hand hovered over you belly. "But I just...I just..." You're crying again.

Tomura places a hand on your back and hold you close and the other to stroke your hair in an attempt to calm you again. You clung to him, rocking the two of you back and forth.

"I know. I know." He whispered.

"I just wanted...wanted to be happy. Like how- normal people are happy." You cried.

"I know."

"And I am- I am happy I just... I miss working so much. And I miss seeing everyone and seeing you and fighting heroes and just...I even miss negotiations!" You sobbed. Tomura couldn't help but flash a smile.

"I know. I'm sorry." Your crying started to subside for a moment. Giving him the opportunity to plant a kiss on your cheek.

"Tomura?"

"Yes?"

"I love you."

"I love you." He nodded and placed his hand on your belly once more.

"So you'll be here for it?"

"Yes I'll be here." You smiled.

"Thank you."

"Don't thank me. It's the bare minimum."

[actuallysaiyan]

The Killing Moon(Itachi Uchiha x Female Reader)

Word count: 1,993

Pairings: Itachi Uchiha x Reader

Warnings: Fluff, bittersweetness, possible spoilers

Summary: Reader stops at nothing to be able to see Itachi one last time, even if it may not end up being a happy ending.

The night air clung to your skin as you kept looking back to make sure no one was following you. You know what you were doing was extremely wrong, but you couldn’t say no to this. You couldn’t allow yourself to miss out on what could possibly be the last time you would see him. It had been years since you last saw him, and still he plagued your dreams. Often, you’d wake up in a cold sweat, calling out his name with tears in your eyes. Never would you love another like you did with him.

When you spotted the crow, you had a feeling that this would be an omen. You weren’t sure if it was good or bad, but it had a letter addressed to you. Of course, the crow disappeared as soon as you took the letter. You figured it was genjutsu of sorts, but you weren’t the most familiar with it. 

Seeing Itachi’s name and his handwriting brought back some difficult memories. You could see yourself with him, running down the streets and watching over little Sasuke. The way Sasuke would grab at you, asking you to pick him up when he was very young. Nowadays, he wouldn’t even look at you. You knew that it was difficult for Sasuke to acknowledge you, but he also knew that you were hurting deeply inside. His vow to kill his brother was what killed you inside. You knew Sasuke felt like he absolutely needed to fulfill this, but you didn’t think it would ever come to this point between those two.

Yet, when Itachi murdered his whole clan and ran off as a rogue ninja, your heart broke. You tried to look after Sasuke, but he just rejected you at this point. You weren’t sure what had transpired that night, but it still killed you inside that Sasuke didn’t want anything to do with you. He yelled and kicked at you, telling you how much he hated you. From that day on, you decided it would be best if you just tried to move on and let him live his own life. You always tried your best to keep an eye on him, but you knew better to approach him. He would never allow you into his life again. Somehow, it seemed like Sasuke blamed you for part of what happened. Whether it be because you had always been in love with Itachi, or just because Sasuke hated the world, you never figured it out.

And yet, here you were, basically ruining your reputation as a shinobi to be able to see Itachi one last time. Your heart raced as you did everything to make sure you would not get caught. You didn’t want to be branded as a traitor. When the guards weren’t watching so properly, you slipped out of the village and made your way into the forest.

The sound of the cicadas screaming reminded you of summer nights long ago, when you would sit with Itachi and both of you would talk all night long. He always shared his feelings with you, but he never told you about what was going on in the background. He never told you the true reason why he would eventually kill his whole clan. You believed he had a good reason for it, but you could never figure it out. No one could ever explain it to you, and now maybe you had your chance to find out what happened.

Suddenly, a burst of crows appeared in front of you and they materialized into Itachi. You almost screamed in horror, but you stopped yourself. You didn’t want to draw attention to the situation unfolding in front of you. When Itachi spotted you, he glared at you. You couldn’t bring yourself to look into his eyes, which had changed so much since the last time you saw him.

“(Y/N).” 

You swallowed hard as you found yourself to be frightened. You wanted to approach him, but all the rumours about him had made you terrified. He was a rogue ninja, and also a murderer. You wanted to trust him, but you didn’t even know him anymore.

He approached you slowly, his eyes observing you. You looked so beautiful in the pale moonlight. He was enamored with you, yet he knew he could never have you. He wanted to take you into his arms and run away with you, but he could never subject you to that. You had your whole life in front of you.

His lips brushed up against yours roughly, and you were surprised. You had loved Itachi since you two were children, but you never thought he returned those feelings. His tongue licked your bottom lip, and you allowed him into your mouth. His arms wrapped around you, pulling you closer into him. You never wanted this moment to end.

“Itachi…” You moaned breathlessly when you pulled away. He cupped your chin and tilted your head so you could look into his eyes. That’s all it took for you to be placed under his genjutsu.

It’s a sunny afternoon, and you are standing in front of the sink. As you finish up the dishes, you hear the front door open. Sasuke’s voice calls out to you as he runs towards you, his arms outstretched to give you a hug. You smile as you reach to hug him, ruffling his hair. 

“Hi, how was training today?” You ask as he pulls away from the hug.

“It was great. I think I’m getting a lot stronger!” He was so enthusiastic.

Itachi watches from the doorway, a big smile spreads on his face. For once, everything seems to be going well. He knew his parents would be returning home very shortly, and he couldn’t wait to surprise everyone with his big proposal. 

The night goes on without a hitch, and everyone has a wonderful meal together. You always felt like you were a part of the Uchiha family. They made you feel so welcome. This warms your heart as you think about how you were an orphan from a very young age. Both of your parents perished in a battle.

Itachi turns to face you, his beautiful smile is infectious. You were so in love with him, and you couldn’t help it to wish you could be with him forever. You know that maybe you don’t have a chance with him, but being his best friend forever is enough to keep you going in life.

“(Y/N),” Itachi starts. Everyone stops talking and they all turn to face you. You can feel the blush creeping up on your cheeks. “There’s something I need to confess.”

“What is it, Itachi?” You ask, puzzled. He pulls out a small box from his pocket, and inside is a beautiful ruby engagement ring. You aren’t sure how to react anymore.

“Ever since we were children, I knew you’d always be by my side. I don’t want to go through life without you. Will you marry me?” You look into his eyes, and the scene changes…

It’s years later, and you find yourself on the sofa. Your belly has grown quite a bit and you can’t help but rub it every now and then. You wait patiently for Itachi to return from his mission. You still live with the Uchihas, and they always dote on you, especially now that you are pregnant with Itachi’s child. A warmth spreads inside you as you hear the front door slide open. In comes Sasuke, running towards you.

“(Y/N)! Itachi has returned. He’s coming home!” Sasuke is so excited for his brother to return.

You give him a small smile as you struggle to get up. Sasuke is quick to help you up, making sure you don’t hurt yourself or pull a muscle. He has been a dear to you throughout your whole pregnancy. Sasuke was the perfect little brother, and he meant so much to you.

You both walk over to the porch, awaiting Itachi’s arrival. You were growing impatient, but you knew it would be all worth it once he was back in your arms once more. Finally, you could see him coming towards the house. You excitedly called out to him, and he came running. 

Finally, he was there in front of you, holding you in his arms and showering you in kisses. It felt so good to have him here.

“I missed you so much, Itachi.”

He smiles, “I missed you too, (Y/N). And I missed our little one. I cannot wait to be a father!”

You’re brought back to reality as the genjutsu dissolved. You weren’t sure what just transpired, but you knew it had to do with Itachi. You could feel a growing sorrow deep inside you as you looked up at Itachi. His eyes, now dark and normal, had tears welling up in them.

“What was that?” You asked, hoping to get some sort of answers.

He stepped forward, holding you close. His lips pressed against yours once more, and you could feel his wet tears stream down his face and onto yours. For him to cry like this, you knew he was inconsolable. Your heart ached.

“I wanted to show you what we could have had, (Y/N).” He explained as he brushed your hair out of your face.

“We could still have that! Please, take me with you. I need you,” You protested, but he wasn’t hearing any of it.

“No, I can’t do that to you. You have your whole life ahead of you, and I know you could make some other man happy. I could never allow myself to lead you down this path.” You wanted to shut him up, but you knew he was speaking logically.

“Please, we could have that. I want to be with you, Itachi. I love you.” You told him. You trembled as you tried not to cry. It was becoming increasingly difficult.

“(Y/N),” he said. You looked up into his eyes once again, and this time you could see the love and adoration you had for him. “I would do anything for us to be able to live that life, but we can’t. I could never let this happen to you, just know that I love you so much. I need you to be strong for me.”

You fought back tears as best as you could, yet you still started crying. Itachi wiped your tears away, and you relished at the feeling of his hands.

“Be strong for me, (Y/N). Maybe in some other lifetime, we could have been happy together. I want you to know that my actions were justified, and if I could have done it differently, I would have for you. The odds were always going to be stacked against me.”

You wanted to argue with him and have him take you away, but you couldn’t find the strength to do so. Instead, you allowed yourself to be held by him. It could be the last time you would ever see him, and you just wanted to remember the way he felt. You wanted to remember his scent and his voice.

“I love you so much, (Y/N). I’m sorry I put you through so much.” Itachi apologized.

“I love you too. Don’t be sorry.” You told him as you wiped your tears away again. “I may not know the circumstances, but I believe that what you did wasn’t hateful. I just wish I could have helped you, even if it was something small.”

“I will always love you.”

And you found yourself in bed, crying out as your body was slick with sweat. Tears streamed down your face as your body was wracked with hard sobs. You weren’t even sure if what happened was real or if it had just been another dream. You cried out for him, longing to be held by him once again.

[starcookiechu]

ROTT Review

SPOILERS FOR THE MOVIE. You have been warned.

FYI: I just finished the movie. So my opinions may change a bit but here I am writing a full review.

Before I talk about the movie, I have to say this movie has fantastic animation. The music is as good as usual.

Ok now the story. Let’s start with the our Trollhunters.

Fair Lady Claire. My girlie Claire really brought her all into this. I’m really proud of the young woman she has grown up into. However for the sake of the plot and story they make her run out of magic juice quite a bit. But my girl is still the best and gives it her all.

Wingman Domzalski. I will be perfectly honest. Toby is kind of the annoying best friend at times and bothers me as a plus size person. (They really push the over eating thing to the point that it’s his biggest factor.) Toby is a very eager kid who is ready to get in the action. Never being negative to his friend but the best emotional support who will always be at his side. Sure Toby was used a bit as comedic relief in the movie but when push comes to shove, Toby will always be there to do the right thing.

Blinky is amazing as always. One of the best father figures out there.

Aarrrgh was there. Was great for the scenes he was in, but all together didn’t do much that altered the story.

Our Trollhunter, Jim Lake Jr. Someone I admire and basically see as my little brother/child. Kiddo really did it. I know everyone is upset that Jim’s arc was redone when we had the “Unbecoming��� episode. If I could come to a peaceful middle ground, I saw we all need to blame Merlin. He really rocked Jim’s world and self worth. When the creator of the object you need to save the world with tells you “You’re not enough”, it really can be a great setback. But once we past that, Jim really pulled through. Amulet or not, he is our Trollhunter.

Mommy Dr. Lake was there. Barbara was mostly there for our emotions.

Dilf Strickler. I felt that he was changed a bit since we last saw him, but he had a new purpose. He was more cautious and happy because he had a chance at a happy life with Barbara. Which makes what happens to him more upsetting. 

Nomura my sweet. This movie did not deserve you. At least she was with Draal.

And Not-Enrique (seriously why didn’t they ever give him an actual name) just wasn’t in the movie.

How about some CreepSlayers?

BABY ELI PEPPERJACK CAME BACK LOOKING SO CUTE. So proud.

Bumbling knight oaf Steve the Palchuckian was great as usual.

I will say though. The whole pregnancy plot was just a way to get Eli and Steve out of the way. I could feel that the writers maybe didn’t like Steve so much since Wizards. But Steve was once again someone to laugh at. Pregnant and out of the way.

How about some Akiridions?

Aja my darling girl, oh how you’ve grown. I understand some think she has changed. However I must say that her preparing a plan B on the side was smart. She isn’t just a princess on earth anymore. She is a queen on a distant planet. So if she thought evacuation was best, it would ensure that everyone would live. And avoid losing more valuable people from her life. So no, I can’t blame her.

DJ Kleb was there. He was kinda doin his own thing and messing with Steve. Brother-in-law stuff.

It was good to see Varvatos Vex.

Stu was the man in the background working on the busy important things like working on the amulet. Personally I feel like the series REALLY underutilizes Stu A LOT so I was so happy to see him being a part of something huge.

And finally some Wizards.

Douxie my love, you were amazing as usual. His powers have grown greatly and have contributed to the adventure. But god the writers really do love to take everything away from him don’t they. It’s unfair.

Archie was kinda just there and just... I understand leaving Douxie but that doesn’t mean I like it.

Nari the sweetest. I can only imagine the guilt she felt to end Nomura. Her self sacrifice was probably the one in the movie most called for.

Alright now I’ll talk about the movie.

I can whole heartedly say this movie was rushed. To be honest I feel like the original writers weren’t completely in this. At least it felt kind of not so much Trollhunters or 3Below vibes but more Wizards, if that makes sense whatsoever. Something is off.

I just want to blame Merlin for everything. To hell with that guy.

The beginning sequence was great. A car chase to a moving train. Which ends up with Toby of course screwing up and breaking the brakes. Of course. The train falling off the tracks which ultimately ends up with Nari gone. Oh yeah, and video recordings of Magic, trolls and being taken in by the police. Great.

WHY TF WAS TOBY TELLING THEIR STORY TO THE POLICE. YOU DON’T MIX THE POLICE IN STORIES UNLESS YOU KNOW THE COP PERSONALLY. CUZ IT’S A MESS AND THE POLICE GET IN THE WAY. GDI TOBY.

Our heroes go back to base on the new and improved Camelot. Where we discover that Barbara and Strickler are now engaged. Happy news and would secure that Jim has another Father figure in his life and his mother’s happiness. Which explains Strickler’s “stay behind” advice. Now he has a family to watch over. He must be careful and warns that Jim’s actions could cost so much that he might not be able to afford.

Enters our Majesty Aja and the new stud on the block, Eli. Dang I wish puberty hit me like that.Truck-kun strikes again. And also enters... the pregnancy thing. I will say, I didn’t mind it too much... at first. But there are complications. Steve is too young to be a father and dang 7 kisses?? I can’t help but feel like Aja should have mentioned that or it was a last minute plan to write out Steve and Eli. (Which it was.) It was funny sure cuz omegaverse and ALIENS but all together it’s really iffy.

They really had Douxie preform a body-swap spell only so it would be undone. And undoing the spell only hurt them both?? C’mon. C’mon.

And they mention the Krohnisfere. We’ll get back to it. Jim gets a brand new amulet infused with Akaridion tech. However theres an issue. It was created by Merlin right? Who is a wizard right? Who uses MAGIC. Shame Douxie wasn’t there to help make it. Ya know. 1/2 of the original creator of the AMULET. So it’s missing a huge part and for the sake of the plot, Jim doesn’t test the Amulet which is out of character personally.

Toby makes a silly big deal over a penny. I was actually hoping they would make it a silly Chekhov's gun later on. But no, it’s just Toby being loud and comedic relief.

The titans are released and we visit a very pregnant Steve. Ok so it’s a rushed kind of thing. ok.

Aja suggests evacuation. You can say it’s out of character but we need context. When Aja helped in the Doomsday Battle, she was ensured a way out but if she let the people of Arcadia perish. She decided to stay and help. But now the Trollhunter himself can’t help. So to ensure the survival of everyone, evacuation. A best chance for everyone to survive. Plus she is now a Queen. She rules over a whole planet which must change her thinking.

Now our characters are split into 3 teams:

Blinky, Archie, Archie’s dad and Claire for the Krohnisfere.

Jim, Aja, Toby, Strickler and Barbara for the Glacial Titan.

Nomura, Douxie and Aarrgh for the Earth Titan.

Now here is where I have problems. WHY. DID. THEY. SEND. TROLLS. TO. BRAZIL. IN. THE. DAY. Nomura dying was just so out of pocket. Unnecessary. I couldn’t even grieve properly I didn’t have a chance to process. The best thought I could think was “At least she’s with Draal now.” 10 seconds later, Strickler makes the choice to sacrifice himself. Because of Jim’s heroic’s, Strickler decided to try to save the most important people in his life. The person who was always dishonest finally had a chance to live a happy life with his family. The one who played it safe now had to make the final impulsive move. And unfortunately, his death was in vain. These deaths were just so forced. It wasn’t in any way good. And Strickler being one of the best written characters just going in such a way was just off. He died for nothing. He could have turned back and fought another battle but... no.

(BTW Barbara was just there... for Strickler’s death.)

We move to Babara and Jim having a heart to heart. I’m glad she didn’t blame Jim but a small moment of anger. Something a little more real for me but no I guess. Barbara will always just be Jim’s mom. She mention’s Jim’s father and it passed so quickly I missed it on my initial viewing. I’m happy that Jim’s father is never revealed or made a bigger part in his story. This is good representation for those of us who did have our fathers walk out on us. That we can grow despite our parents failing us.

And finally team Krohnisfere. Archie just leaves. He’s gone. Poor Douxie. A mentor and now his closest companion.

Our heroes meet up to go against the Volcanic Titan. In comes Varvatos Vex on a Gun Robot. Nice to see some good ol Gundam with a character mentioned throughout the entire trilogy. However it doesn’t last. BTW for the sake of survival, Aja leaves Jim and Toby. Iffy.

Douxie pulls a “Jason stop. This isn’t you.” thing with Nari and is reunited with his friend.(+ points for the shippers. It’s kinda winning me over?) Also, Claire now has the power to teleport a Titan. I know she’s much stronger than she was for the Trollhunters Sn 2 finale, but cmon. You can’t just say she’s out of magic juice and then pull this. C’mon.

(btw did the titan make a War of the Worlds tripod sound? No? Just me?)

Nari sacrifices herself and takes the other god with her. Which takes away Douxie’s other companion. Mr. Stark I don’t feel so good. Why does this movie hate Douxie so much. (I am so sorry shippers. Angst.)

BLINKY DIDN’T SEE A PAGE? ADDRESSING IT IN THE SHOW DOESN’T GIVE YOU A PASS. I forgot the word but this irony isn’t greatttt.

Jim now has to pull out the legendary sword Excalibur. But he can’t cuz he hasn’t harnessed the power of friendship.

And Steve is giving birth. At the worst time. What is this a zombie movie??? C’mon.

Jim says “Magic is friendship” And Stu is finally being used for one grand act. Seriously Stu is just so unappreciated. So he fixes the amulet with magic.

Basically everyone who went on top of the Volcanic titan falls off at some point. Except Jim cuz of course some 1v1. 

ONCE AGAIN Claire is out of magic juice. Because... reasons.

Toby makes the choice to race to Jim’s side with the technology to cancel out magic. (Wait how does science stop magic again)

BTW, For the Good of all doesn’t hit as well BUT it’s not mentioning any glory towards stinky Merlin so I am happy with the change.

JIM HAS A NEW TRANSFORMATION. MY BOY. MY SON. I’M SO PROUD.

Toby races to Jim and his helmet falls off the taco truck. That honestly should have been a huge warning sign. I was worried he didn’t have armor but we know how this goes.

Jim defeats the final titan and everyone is happy. The fight is finally over.

STEVE HAS 7 KIDS. OUCH. 

Seeing Jim run to Toby was heartbreaking. Now this is the one scene where the movie really let out actually process a character’s death. How on earth can you process your best friend, your most faithful companion dying. Jim goes through too much I swear to god.

Now let’s discuss the time travel plot. I honestly feel like they pulled some kind of Attack on Titan ending. The main character burdened with knowing the future and what could have been. And if everything is meant to be how it will be, destiny will reconnect them again. (Jlaire reincarnation AU???)

I’m actually ok with this ending. I understand people would want the time stone to return only a few minutes. But even then, the kiddos still have police records, so many people dead at the titan’s hands (or feet) and now the world knows about the existence of trolls thanks to the internet. In New York no less. And people are still dead.

We return the the beginning of everything, reflecting the “Unbecoming” episode.

(NGL I’m bothered that they didn’t do anything to stop Steve from bullying Eli, but Jim can’t do it. He’s saving it for Toby.)

And now finally, let’s discuss Toby becoming the Trollhunter. From the beginning, Toby never considered himself good enough to be the main star. Always the wingman, the 2nd best. Support. Now it was Toby’s turn to climb the ranks and be the Hero he’s always wanted to be. It’s Jim’s turn to live an easier high school life. I don’t doubt that he won’t follow Toby. But now he knows what to avoid and how to make the story process more smoothly.

I understand some are unsatisfied with this ending, which is kinda trademarked with Dreamwork’s shows. I get it. But honestly as of right now, I think I like the ending.

The amulet didn’t choose Jim because this Jim is not the same Jim as in Sn 1 Ep 1. He is a new man. And I think we all can agree that it’s his turn to be happy.

---

I still love this series so much. It is my favorite cartoon. Of course it has it’s flaws, but this ending is at least satisfactory and not heartbreaking. Now it’s up to us to either continue the story or contribute our ideas in fanfiction. I look forward to everyone’s creations.

Don’t think. Become.

[grimbeak]

How Pirate Jay Au Jay deal with the rest of the seasons 

DotD: 

*I haven’t watched this ep in 4+ years so Im just gonna focus on the bruise at the end

*Very happy that his bf is no longer a ghost! Now he can give surprise hugs without faceplanting on the floor! (Kai comments that they’re ‘going to be even worse now’)

*Oh yeah and he’s happy to see Morro bc that happens ig 

S7:

*Spends most of it having literally no idea what’s going on

*Acronix tries to manipulate him ab his mom and Jay’s like ‘bitch stfu’ so it doesn’t rly work out

*He honestly doesn’t care ab the fact that Wu’s dying all that much bc he’s only known him for a few months (and he’s still a bit upset about the whole ‘banishing my mom instead of trying to talk to her’ thing)

*He doesn’t have Ed n Edna to worry ab so he just fucks around a bit before going ‘fuck it’ and grabbing the timeblade before anyone else can get to it

*he didn’t have a vehicle he just ran

*pirate coat flowing in the wind 

*Anyway Kai eventually rants to him ab his parents being supposedly evil and jay’s like ‘oh no,,,, how awful that must be for you,,, can’t relate,,,, at all,,,’ which earns him a smack on the head

*Ray and Maya see this new lightning master and are like ‘um is no one else concerned about this’ 

S8:

*Jay searched for Wu for a year (despite not givin a fuck lmao) purely to spend a year with his boyf. That was the only reason. 

*He is freak tF out by Lloyd’s voice change:

‘WHAT’S WRONG WITH HIM’ 

‘he’s fine it’s just puberty- you literally went through this jay’

‘NORMAL HUMAN FUNCTIONS DON’T WORK PROPERLY IN THE CURSED REALM MY VOICE NEVER CHANGED BITCH’

‘is that why you’re still so short’

‘FUCK OFF I NEED TO EAT MORE APPARENLY’

*Harumi is just unimpressed with him her description of him is smthn like ‘the pirate ninja who has no self control’ 

*He instantly knows she’s the traitor but no one really listens to him

*He laughs at them when they figure out he was right

*Jay gets a very quick rundown of what happened with Garmadon and is no longer laughing 

*uhhh canon events happen ig

S9:

*Yeah pretty much canon events as well except for the fact that Jay is freaKING OUT about the fact that there are DRAGONS

‘jay we can make magical dragons’

‘YEAH BUT THEY’RE MADE OF ENERGY AND OUR OWN EMOTIONS THESE ONES ARE NOT’ 

*He still loses it for a bit but instead of him just giving up completely it’s more like he’s drunk

S10:

*No proposin yet because they’re literal children and also shits goin DOWN

*goin down like cole

*sorry

*They have to physically restrain Jay from jumping down after Cole when he falls

*when kai re-makes the golden weapons jay’s kinda like ‘ohhh so that’s what the nunchucks looked like b4 you guys melted them cool cool’ 

*Cole’s back!! Jay’s happy!! Everyone wins!! 

*no one wins bcuz Lloyd’s dead. When he comes back Jay offers him an invite to the club of ‘we died but not anymore’. Zane and Jay were previously the only members. 

S11:

*uhhh what happens in this season again 

*nothing important so lets move on

S12:

(Pre-season 12, Jay gets an odd feeling, and finds Clutch Powers just about to open the teapot of tyrahn. He smacks him and goes ‘no’ before kicking it into the ocean. Ninjago city is safe once more.) 

*Nothing really changes except for the fact that he actually calls the cult that he made a cult and they only cause anarchy 

*Cole just points to where the crowds are running from and is like ‘jay’s over there’ 

*Also Jay has literally no idea what’s going on in this video game world bcuz like everything is just weird and he hasn’t really had time for games with all the heroing going on 

*Bruise happens n they dance

*Jay is horrible at dancing but they do it anyway

*Canon stuff (except Nya dies in the car with Kai for bruise reasons)

*Cole sacrificing himself at the end fuckin hurts bcuz last time Jay died in Cole’s arms,,, now it’s the opposite (sorta lmao) 

*At the confrontation with Unagami, Jay’s just like “look dude the people who were supposed to protect me threw my mom who was pregnant with me into the cursed realm without even giving me a chance to live, so let’s just both agree that our families suck and move on” and Unagami’s like “Sure that makes sense” 

*They bond over having no idea what anything is at any time

S13: 

*Jay is so proud of his boyfriend getting a season

*Jay please stop breaking the fourth wall I’m trying to write

*Vania tries to flirt with Cole, Jay responds by fuckin making out with him in front of everyone

*y e a h

*the queen tries to marry him and jay’s like ‘uh i have a bf’ and she’s like ‘not anymore’ and nya’s like ‘im his lesbian sister let me fight you for him’ and the queen’s like ‘do you wanna get married instead’ and nya’s like ‘uh no i have a gf too’ and the queen is like ‘well i can’t marry the green one he’s a minor’ and lloyd’s just so confused 

*Cole does his Thing with his new 3 poly uncles 

*Uh stuff happens

*

*

*Bruise

*No one’s really sure who the queen ended up marrying but they’re never going back there just in case

The Island:

*Jay likes his flower crown. He wears on the brim of his pirate hat.

[harghoes]

Your Memory is Killing Me.

Pairing: Wolffe x f!reader

Word count: 1854

Warnings: alcohol, grief, not taking care of one’s self, it’s really sad. 

a/n: I had this idea stuck in my head after hearing my favorite song. (More Than a Memory by Garth Brooks obvi). It hurt me to think about but I realized it would be a good chance for me to get back into writing things I like! tagging @morganas-pendragons 💓 Enjoy, it’s sad. :)

—-

everyone tells him it’s all in his head. that the image of her isn’t anything but an apparition. he’ll over come it eventually, of course he will, he’s Commander Wolffe of the 104th. he’s the strongest of them all. except, he isn’t that strong. he’s barely holding on by a thread and the only comfort he gets is “it’ll take time, but you’ll forget, everyone forgets.” that’s the opposite of what he wants to hear. in fact, he never wants to hear those words in that arrangement ever again, not when it deals with her. the girl of his dreams. gone, like she was never there, and like no one even knows who she is. that’s who Commander Wolffe, of the 104th, is so tragically missing. 

Wolffe tries to talk to his vod. the only words offered are a “c’mon Commander. move on. we all have to get on with our life.” and Wolffe knows this is true. in war, you lose things you never thought you would, but you also gain things too. Wolffe knew from the moment he met her that his life would change. he wasn’t just another clone in this fight anymore, he had a purpose, a home. he would’ve done anything to keep her safe. anything at all. 

the thing with his vod telling him to move on is that he doesn’t think they understand what it means to him. they don’t realize the pain and trauma he gained with her loss. he can’t look at things and see them the same. he can’t hear certain words without thinking about her. he can’t do anything without her being with him. it was a blessing but now it’s a curse. 

Commander Wolffe, as of right now, is on leave. his Jedi General saw it fit for him to take a break. General Plo is good at keeping his men healthy, but even now he can tell there’s something deeper going on. Wolffe, while stoic and not one to get emotional, had been near his breaking point for weeks now. General Plo could tell. 

that leads back to Wolffe. he’s laying in bed, staring at the ceiling, feeling empty. his quarters once held light and hope and now it feels cluttered and small. Wolffe decides he needs to do something to clear his head and that’s what has him reaching for his comlink. he starts dialing her number before realizing he can’t. he hangs up immediately, afraid someone else will pick up, and that he wouldn’t have an explanation. Wolffe has to clear his mind somehow. 

he ends up at 79’s eventually. he can’t remember how he got here but all he knows is he needs a drink. Wolffe heads to the bar immediately and sits down. he orders a glass of whiskey and bows his head. he’s never been much of a drinker but he needs to get her image out of his mind. he needs to get her smile out of his mind. the whiskey is set down in front of him and he downs it right away. the bartender watches with curiosity but goes about her business. Wolffe just wanted time to dwell on his mistakes and to feel his grief. 

a pretty Twi’lek woman walks towards him and leans against the counter. Wolffe doesn’t pay her any mind until she sets her hand on his. 

“what’s a handsome man like you doing alone? whoever has you sure is lucky.” her voice is sweet but nothing like hers. 

“i’m not looking for anything tonight, i just want to be left alone.” Wolffe registers the look on her face as concern before adding, “please.” 

thankfully, she understands. she sets a friendly hand on his shoulder and leaves with a ‘good luck, soldier.’

Wolffe gives her a nod in response before flagging the bartender over. he’s going to need a lot more to drink to deal with this. 

————

Wolffe is drunk off his ass. the bartender had to get a taxi for him to even make it near the barracks. Wolffe is stumbling his way through the hallways when he sees the familiar hair. it’s only a flash before it’s gone, but it was there. he knows it. 

Wolffe is intent on following the shadow until he spots his vod. Boost and Sinker are heading his way. he doesn’t want them to see their Commander like this. by the time he’s figured out he needs to move, they’ve caught up to him and are now helping him to his quarters. 

“Maker, Commander, what’s gotten into you? you have never acted like this before. is it because of... her?” Sinker questions on the walk. 

Wolffe can only let out a grunt and the rest of the walk is quiet. once inside his room, Wolffe collapses. he’s sitting on his knees with his face upturned. he takes two deep breaths before getting up to reach under his bed. he grabs his lockbox that holds millions of memories and starts pulling out things she wrote him, photos she took, anything that had her presence. Wolffe was a grieving man and the best way to grieve? destruction. 

he leaves his quarters for the second time that night on a mission. he heads for an empty room and finds an ashtray. once finding the ashtray, he looks for matches and sets the photos and letters on the tray. he finds the matches, lights one up, and looks at the top photo. the two are smiling brightly, their faces smushed together, and you can see the happiness in Wolffe’s face. he’s never been happier than in that moment. Wolffe grabs that photo off the top before setting the match on the rest. there’s no way he could get rid of her entirely. 

——

by the time Wolffe gets back to his quarters, he’s exhausted. he lays on his bed and hopes to get a quick nap in. he hasn’t been sleeping properly since she’s been gone. it’s like she was his one and only comfort. Wolffe stares at the ceiling and recounts their time together. eventually, he does fall asleep. 

it doesn’t last long though. within a few hours, he’s waking up in a cold sweat. there wasn’t anything he could do but the guilt is still there. he reached for his comlink again and stops himself from dialing the wrong line. instead, he calls someone he can trust. 

Cody. 

Cody answers after a few rings and he grumbles out a greeting. 

“Cody, i don’t know what’s happening to me. i’m scared and i’m tired and i just can’t stop thinking about her. it’s been weeks and i still see her. Cody, she’s haunting me. she’s more than a memory, i’m telling you.”

Wolffe pours his heart out to his vod and Cody takes a minute to respond. finally, he sighs and begins to talk. 

“Wolffe, do you know what time it is? it’s the middle of the night. i’m not angry at you, i’m sorry you’re going through this, but i’ve got a campaign in a few days. i need to sleep.”  Cody let’s out another sigh before he ends the conversation with, “it’s going to be alright, Wolffe. i know it is.” 

the comlink beeps signifying the end of the call. this is going to be a long leave. 

———

when Wolffe gets a call from General Plo to check in, he goes immediately. he’s barreling his way down the halls to meet with his General, and when he finally reaches the room, he clears his throat. 

Plo turns around, expecting to see a clean-shaven, sober Wolffe. what he sees in front of him is a broken man. Wolffe is swaying slightly, he has dark circles around his eyes, and he looks like he hasn’t shaved in years. 

Plo is taken aback by Wolffe’s appearance and takes in a breath. Wolffe shakily raises his arm in a salute. Plo walks towards Wolffe and sets his arm down. he sets his hands on his shoulders and looks at his son. Plo had heard Wolffe’s situation had gotten worse. he knew about his excessive drinking, his bar fights, his erratic sleep schedule. Wolffe wasn’t taking care of himself and it was affecting everyone. 

“Wolffe, you need to sleep. please, son, stop the drinking. you need to take care of yourself and your brothers.” 

he’s been hearing the same message just worded differently from everyone. he’s at his breaking point now. Wolffe starts shaking with anger and Plo just watches. Wolffe’s fists clench at his sides before they loosen. he falls to his knees and looks at his General. 

“please, General. please. i can’t do this anymore. Maker, please! i need her! Maker, this is a worthless life without her.” 

Wolffe bows his head and, though never religious, starts to pray to anything out there that she’ll return to him. he needs to see her again. Wolffe is a strong man but even strong men need someone. she was his someone. 

Plo drops to his knees besides Wolffe and brings him into a hug. he sets a hand on his back and one cradling the side of his face. Wolffe starts sobbing and screams until his voice is hoarse. he screams for anything and everything in hopes that she’s listening. 

Plo just sits there, cradling his son, and sending reassurance through the Force. this is a time for Wolffe to get everything out. 

a while later, Wolffe is finally calmed down enough to where Plo can talk to him. 

“i’m sorry you dealt with this alone for so long. i’m sorry you lost her. i’m just sorry, Wolffe. you’re a good man, you deserved to be happy with her.” 

Wolffe takes in a shaky breath and leans back. his back ends up against the nearest wall and his legs are outstretched. 

“i‘ve tried everything, General. i’ve tried every coping mechanism available. nothing helps. i’ve left her old comlink messages saying i love her, i’ve walked by her old room, i’ve called my vod in the middle of the night and none of them can relate or help me.” 

there’s a pregnant silence between the two. Plo is about to speak again before Wolffe finally explains. 

“i’ve let myself go because i don’t see a reason to be put together. there isn’t a reason to look decent without her. i’ve tried to drown out her laugh with alcohol and it doesn’t work. the more i drink, the louder her laugh rings through my head.” 

Wolffe takes in three deep breaths before telling Plo the main problem.

“the reason i’m not sleeping is because i know she’s waiting for me. i find things to do because i know she’s waiting in my dreams. and i don’t think i could handle seeing her without being able to touch her.” 

Plo gives Wolffe’s shoulder a firm pat before bringing him into another hug. 

with his head resting on Plo’s shoulder, Wolffe breaths out a soft murmur. 

“people say she’s only in my head. it’s killing me.” 

and the two sit there sharing the grief together.

[topsyturvy-dream]

Title: Temptation

Scene Explanation: This scene happened during the night you and Jiraiya reconnected with each other. Jiraiya was the one you’ve been crushing on during your childhood years, and eventually pining for as you both grew up, but due to a fall out, your life took a different turn than what you expected. Now that you’re face-to-face again after many years, will you both give in to the temptation and act on the ‘”what could have been”?  

Artist’s Notes: I know that I said that this will be posted in December 2020, but then so many unexpected things happened and I only finished this art in early February this year. And then, more unexpected things happened once again, so it took so long for me to write the full background story (under read more). And so, here we are! 😂 Anyways, I’m so excited to get started on my next one, which will be about Minato! So stay tuned! 💕

OC Background Story:

You are a niece of Sarutobi Biwako, the Third’s Hokage’s wife, through your father’s side, and the cousin of Dan Kato through your mother’s side. When you were younger, you were placed in a promising team; however, because of a mission gone wrong, your sensei and one of your teammates were killed in action, and your third teammate decided to quit becoming a ninja. While trying to find a new team for you, Biwako insisted that Hiruzen take you in as a temporary member of his team, and thus, that was how you met and became fast friends with Jiraiya, Tsunade, and Orochimaru.

 Growing up, you have always had a small crush on Jiraiya. His vibrant personality and unique looks caught your eye and your heart. When you reached your early adult years, your attraction to him was reciprocated, which resulted in a “friends with benefits” relationship. Late night pillow talks and increasing quality time spent together made you develop your feelings for him deeply. But even though Jiraiya is a frequent companion of yours whether in bed or in the streets, you know that his heart belongs to Tsunade. Unfortunately, you are not all kind. Seeing that Tsunade and Dan had an attraction to each other, you were the main reason that they ended up in a romantic relationship. After all, who better than to introduce your best friend to your cousin and fully support their relationship other than you. Maybe then, you can have Jiraiya; all is fair in love and war, they say.

 Your relationship with Jiraiya came into question during an important alliance mission. Visiting the foreign nobility’s court to discuss the alliance terms, one of the noble’s sons had a deep attraction for you. Throughout the mission, he would do everything in to woo you, send you beautiful flower arrangements, expensive jewelleries, and even try to accompany and show you around the country. As the time came for you, Jiraiya, and your team to go back to Konoha, the noble’s son decided to see you off the village, but not without inviting you to come back and stay so that he can properly court you.

 Back at the village, Jiraiya would frequently tease you about the noble’s son, especially when you’re both out with mutual friends. However, one day, you were having such a bad day and was in no mood for his antics, so you decided to walk out of the restaurant you were hanging out in and go back to your place to cool off. Jiraiya, who felt bad for making you more upset, decided to follow you to talk. Not being able to take keeping your feelings a secret anymore, you confessed your love for him at his instant, telling him that you don’t want to be his friends with benefit anymore because you love him and that you want to have a proper relationship with him. But like you feared when finally confessing, Jiraiya couldn’t return your love because he still has feelings for Tsunade. Hurt by this revelation of unrequited love, you ask Jiraiya whether you are just Tsunade’s replacement – a temporary fill in his bed to chase away the loneliness until Tsunade changes her mind and decides to love him instead – to which Jiraiya was speechless. Not being able to bear the sadness, you told Jiraiya “I thought as much” and left him alone.

 Needing time to process everything and because it was very awkward, you and Jiraiya would avoid each other. Very much heartbroken, you decided to be the chosen one to go back and reside in the foreign nobility’s court to lead the alliance efforts. Maybe that will help you forget about your heartache. So, you leave, and a few years later, the noble’s son proposes and you accept.

 Original Ending (Angst)

 Many years later, after losing most of his precious people from Konoha, Jiraiya decides to travel and work alone. He hates the quiet, because he would reminisce of days pasts, and he would often remember you and wonder what would have happened if he had given you a chance and moved on from Tsunade. It is during some of these musings that the regret will come, because deep down inside, Jiraiya does love you, too.

 It just so happens that fate or coincidence made him cross paths with you again. Somewhere at the edge of the country you’re in, Jiraiya foils a kidnapping attempt made at the youngest daughter of a noble family. Bringing her back to the village, he finds out that the child he saved is yours.

 Grateful for Jiraiya’s help in saving his favourite grandchild and also recognising him as one of the legendary ninjas, your father-in-law decided to host Jiraiya for dinner and let him stay the night in your home to rest before he continues on his travels. Since your husband is currently away from the village for some business matters, you were given the task of hosting him and keeping him company; after all, you did know Jiraiya from before you left Konoha. As the night falls, you and Jiraiya ended up having a drink together and reminisce about old times – laughing about some of your training antics and mission experiences together.

 Jiraiya suddenly turns serious; he asks you how you were and whether you’re happy. You were truthful with him. Your life has changed drastically. You’re a retired shinobi in a boring and loveless marriage with a womanising noble, which is definitely not what you pictured your future would have been, but here you are. Jiraiya, for once, doesn’t run away. He apologises to you for what happened that one fateful night many years ago. He apologises for not giving you a chance, even if he already had an inkling feeling that you have caught feelings for him. He says sorry for not realising sooner that cares so much about you too, that he does love you too. But as he was about to say those three words that you’ve always longed to hear, you placed your fingers on top of his lips to silence him, telling him that you don’t want to think about the what ifs. Jiraiya, understanding that you both can’t turn back time, kisses your fingers, your palms, looks into your eyes, and kisses you passionately on your lips. This led to the both of you making love throughout night, the first since years ago.

 Basking in the afterglow and lying in bed together, you decided to let Jiraiya know your real feelings. You told him that you waited so long for him. When the noble’s son wanted to marry you, you tried to put it off as much as possible. You waited, and waited, and waited for him to come get you; hoping of all hopes that maybe, he changed his mind and decided to move on from Tsunade and give you both a chance, because you know that deep inside, Jiraiya has feelings for you, too. You waited, until you can’t anymore. So, you said yes to the noble’s son, and the rest is history. You never did have closure. You were angry. You are angry, telling Jiraiya that “I hate that I still love you. I hate that I waited for you, but you never came.” So, you told him that this is the last time ever that he can come to this village, telling him that he’s not coming back to destroy your life anymore. After that, you had angry/hate sex together, and in the morning, Jiraiya is gone.

 You became pregnant with your last child that night, but no one really knows who the real dad is because your child’s hair colour and features are mostly the same as yours. The only thing that shows that the child’s father is Jiraiya is that they have his eyes, his smile, and his squarish jaw line. You never did tell anyone that it was Jiraiya’s kid; it was a secret that you kept till your grave. And Jiraiya? He never did find out that he had a kid, too.

 This ending is when Jiraiya eventually dies at Pein's hands. One of Jiraiya's unreleased books, which he kept somewhere safe before he left for the Pein mission, is based on what could have been if he hadn’t let you get away and the both of you had your happily ever after in each other’s arms.

Alternate Ending (Happy)

 Jiraiya, who decided to have some balls and confront his feelings, chooses to run after you, and asks you to wait a little bit more for him because he loves you, too. So, you decide to decline the marriage proposal from the noble’s son, and once the alliance was established, you go back home to Konoha and decide to travel with Jiraiya. During your travels, he really gets to know you on a deeper level, and he falls deeper in love with you.

 One day, you both came across Tsunade briefly in your travels. Knowing that Jiraiya and her need some time alone, you leave the two of them to catch up, thinking that Jiraiya might want to be alone with Tsunade; thus, preparing yourself to be let down and rejected by him. During Tsunade and Jiraiya's meal (with sake, of course), he realises that he has finally moved on from her.

 That night, as he went back to his and your hotel room, he couldn't sleep thinking about his realisation that Tsunade doesn't make his heart beat fast anymore. Then he looks at your sleeping face, and it's like a whole load of inspiration just exploded inside him and the epiphany that you are the woman that he wants to grow old with. He then immediately wakes you up in the wee hours of the morning, kissing you (and you almost punched him for waking you up from your sleep). Jiraiya's all giddy and happy telling you "I love you" repeatedly. You were a bit sceptical though, but Jiraiya promises to show you that he really loves you through his actions.

 He does - he tries to show his love and appreciation for you every day, and his main masterpiece is a book that he finishes - wherein the heroine is inspired by you - and he declares his love for you in that book he wrote (calling himself stupid for not looking inside his heart sooner or something along the lines). You both continue your travels, and eventually get married and have children (of course, he gets to make love to you all the time, which is a bonus). He also gets to watch Naruto grow old and become the Hokage he is like his father. All is well.  

[lenacker]

To Raise an Eaglet

Kuchel and Levi’s life in my Meet The Ackermans Modern! Rivetra AU

This is my longest work yet, Word count : 2654 words

"So you're not coming here for Christmas?" Kuchel holds her phone to her ear with her shoulder, while cutting the vegetables on the cutting board. She was preparing some special stew from her beloved son’s cute, little family.

"No, I’m working on a very important case, Mom. I.."

"Wait, wait," Kuchel wiped her hands to her apron, re-do her ponytail, and now holding her phone with her hand, meanwhile the other was on her hips. "don't say you're not even coming home to Petra for Christmas Eve? For fuck's sake Lev, that's intolerable! That’s your very own birthday! Don't put your work before your family! If they're gone then who are you working for?! What's the use of money when you have no one to spend it with? Seriously, I don't remember raising a man that's ........" 

Levi took a deep breath, putting his phone on the desk while his mom kept rambling here and there. He loves her so much, but she always talks too much for her own good. Sometimes he even wondered how they share the same genes with the difference between their amount of words they can say in one breath.

When he put the phone back to his ear, he didn't hear the nag of his mother. Instead, the woman he heard since he remembered sounds like she's on the verge of tears.

"..... but I guess it can't be helped, huh? It's okay then, it doesn't like I've prepared anything, anyway. Say hi to Petra and the boys for me."

Kuchel sighed, pushing herself with her hands against the countertop, and looked to the ceiling to prevent her tears from falling. Why is she crying, anyway? It's not going to be her first alone Christmas! She spent plenty of them alone, trembling from the cold (and starvation if there are not enough customers in the brothel). 

Until one Christmas when she’s 20, she got a great gift she never even dared to imagine, a beautiful, little bundle of joy she named Levi. He came with such unbearable pain, blood, and tears but the moment she heard him scream and laid her eyes on him, no, even from the first time she felt her baby's move, she knows she wouldn't be alone anymore. 

I'm gonna protect you, she whispered while cradling Levi's tiny head against her chest, tears streaming from her tired eyes, We’ll live a better life together.

Life felt less ugly for a while. She had to hide her baby whenever a customer came, but it gets less lonely with a cute baby looking at you with such wonderful blue eyes. She hopes he doesn't grow up so he won't understand what kind of world they live in.

But of course, he grows. And in the process, Kuchel saw how unfit the environment they're in for a child's development. She saw how Levi started to laugh less, his skin pale and almost translucent. He stopped saying 'I love you' back when he's around four, instead, he would just hug her silently. He stopped moving when he had to hide from her customers in the tiny cupboard, not moving an inch. Not making any sound. It made her worried sick, she couldn't see if he's ok from the bed. Can he breathe properly? Is it normal for a 4 years old boy to stay still for hours?

At the age of six, he looks like a very malnourished four years old vampire-boy. His voice became raspy, his eyes darken, his cheeks sunken. In their city, it's difficult enough to find decent food when you have money, it's even harder when you don't. Sometimes he would give her some crumpled money he somehow finds, tells her to keep it to buy a new house so no scary men come to hurt mommy. That's also the year when she realized she has the disease that has been spreading around. Of fucking course. The disease takes over her entirely. In just a month, she can't even get up from her bed, her body feels like it's on fire. 

And the worst thing, she can't work nor provide food for little Levi. But he never asks for it either. He stayed with her on the bed, caressing her face with his bony hand. Around midday, he would get up, go for an hour or so, and come back with some half-decent food and bruises. Her heart ached every time he put the food inside her mouth, whispering 'please get better, mommy' with his raspy voice. 

She hoped she could ask him where he got the food and the bruises, tell him there's no way she could get better without any treatment, or simply say thank you because she's the one who was supposed to find food, but she couldn't force any sound out of her throat. Sometimes she sheds some tears, which Levi always reacts with a sad 'sorry mommy, I can't find better food'. It hurts even more. Sometimes she wondered if keeping him and bringing him to this cruel world is a mistake. Or if she's being selfish to want a friend in her lonely life.

Then she decided to give up. She kept her eyes shut, feeling how her body struggled to keep her alive. She let the darkness consume her.

-

But she didn't die. She didn't know how much time was passed but when she started to gain consciousness she heard the beeping sound beside her. 

Where am I? Her body does not hurt as much. She opened her eyes and was welcomed with Levi's beautiful blue-grey eyes right in front of her own.

"Levi?"

Wait, did she just talk? Did she really make a clear, understandable word? Well, that’s the first.

She observed her baby's face and noticed how he looks .....more like a normal child. She raised her hand to touch his surprisingly slight chubby cheeks, but he's faster. He moved down to hug -more like crushes, actually- her. He buried his face to her cheeks, mumbling long incoherent words to her cheeks. She felt how her cheeks moisten by his warm tears, how his body trembled, and wondered how she even thought of leaving this precious boy. 

"There's Kenny," Levi said once he calmed down, "he brought Mommy here and taught me to fight" then he proudly showed her some of the moves she recognized as Kenny's with a paring knife.

Kenny was a weird one, he always was. He's her only brother, but he never acted like one nor was there for her. He went to jail for killing some folks when she’s about ten. The last time she saw him was when she's pregnant, and he told him to abort her pregnancy. Of course, she refused, so he left without saying anything. 

"What did you do with Kenny, baby?" Did he teach you anything bad? killing people? He's a little bit psycho. Much to her relief, they just have some knife and martial arts training, then eat whatever food Levi wanted. Well at least her brother gave him food and brought her to the hospital. At least he keeps Levi alive even though he never approves of his presence.

A few weeks later, she's allowed to leave the hospital. She has been unconscious for three months, apparently. Kenny came, he took care of the administration and payment, drove them to a simple-clean apartment, left some money then left without any unnecessary words. They have never been a normal sibling with a heartfelt relationship but still, Kuchel hoped he would say something, where does he live now, why did he come, does he have any wife and kids, anything. 

And so, their brand new life began. In the morning Kuchel would bake some simple cookies, walk Levi to school while giving her cookies to shops along the street then she went to a supermarket near their home, where she worked as a part-time cashier. Then when her shift has finished, she picks her son home and takes her money from the shops. 

Years passed, their life gets better every day. Levi had poor social skills, but he managed to befriend two nice, orphan kids; Farlan and Isabel. Like everything he loves (Kuchel herself, a hand knife he got from Kenny, multi-functional stain remover, etc.) he was a bit overprotective. She had to meet the headmaster more than three times during Levi's first two months because her son 'created a commotion' when the only thing he did was protect his friends' dignity with his fists. She didn't think it's bad. Kuchel always knows Levi is such a kind and sweet boy, he just prefers to show his crude side (from Kenny or their previous place, she's not sure). So instead of telling him to stop fighting bullies, she told him words can hurt more than any blow. And it turned out surprisingly well, he never 'created trouble' again. (Saying hurting words is not considered trouble, how weird).

In the blink of an eye, Levi became a handsome man wearing an immaculate suit, kissing Kuchel's cheek before leaving to go to his office for the umpteenth time. 

"Don't forget to find me a daughter-in-law," she said teasingly, handing him lunch. Her son pretended to look disgusted, then smiled softly "I don't think I can find someone as pretty and amazing as you, Mom. See you!" 

Ever since he turned 30, she kept reminding him that 29 is the average marriage age for a male and he would answer with the answer he just gave her this morning, or "Nobody would want to marry a grumpy, constipated looking man, Mom" or, "I will once I find the right one". 

Kuchel knew her son was admired by many (he always bring home at least two bags of chocolates on Valentine's Day), he's good-looking (not that tall due to the malnutrition in his early years, but still, even the old lady next-door had mentioned that he's hot). His salary as a detective at the Criminal Investigation Department is high enough to afford both of them that he forced her to quit working and enjoy life. But she's as stubborn as he is, so she sneakily still bakes some cookies and sells them to a bakery far enough from his office. 

About two hours later, right as her oven timer rings, the front door of their apartment opened, revealing a furious Levi. He only wears his shirt and trousers, the suit he initially wears this morning in his hands. Thankfully he didn't notice the freshly baked cookies because he’s too busy muttering curses angrily, something about an airheaded, bitchy woman. 

Woman? Well, that’s interesting. Kuchel couldn’t recall when’s the last time her son mentioned anything about women (never). Aside from Isabel and Hange 'shitty-four eyes’, that is. She raised one of her eyebrows, wondering if this could be the beginning of the hater-into-lover relationship she often watches at Korean dramas. 

“Oh, you’re home early. Something happened?” she asked as neutral as possible despite her giddiness, leaning against the doorframe of Levi’s bedroom. He was buttoning his white shirt, annoyance still clear on his face. However, he forced a grin. 

“Nothing, Mom. Just a friend of Hange’s. She smeared some cake cream on my suit. Don’t know what she’s thinking.” Kuchel nodded understandingly, what a daring girl to do that.

“Is she pretty?” She asked once more, already imagining a scheme upon how they would fall madly in love. 

Her son looks surprised, or somehow like someone who just remembers he forgot something important. He took his tie and walked to her, letting his mother tie it around his collar. (She secretly appreciates how he let her do it, despite knowing how to do it himself. It makes her feel needed) While she ties the red garment, Levi looks intensely to her eyes and mumbles, “ShehasbigeyeswiththesamecolorasyousoIguess.…”

Throughout the years, Kuchel noticed that despite being sweet and kind (to her, at least), her son has difficulties showing feelings he deemed ‘bad’ or maybe ‘weird’. He usually mumbles lengthy sentences that she learned to interpret. Like that time when one of her customers hurt her, 4 years old Levi tried to wash the blood and mumbles how he wanna be stronger and hurt the man back, and how he loves his mother. Or when she woke up in the hospital. Or when everybody in his class praises him for shaving his head when one of his classmates had cancer. Or every time he presented her with a bunch of flowers on Mother's Day. That habit is still there, evidently. 

She simply smiled, deciding to not tease him any further. She patted his chest, telling him to go back to his office, and let the topic go. 

But apparently, the Hange’s airheaded friend story doesn’t stop there.

About a month later, Levi went to watch a musical titled Hamilton with Hange. He always likes musical shows, mainly for the elaborate choreography. She didn’t expect her son to get home so late, and grumpier than ever. She asked him why, but he dismissed her. She didn’t need to wonder for long, because Hange called her (it’s not even a rare occurrence, they’re so close that they often call her randomly in the middle of the night). 

"I tried to set him with my roommate," they said, "Petra is a very sweet girl, not to mention that she's clean and pretty short. She's pretty much perfect for him. I tried to push them into the stuck-in-the-elevator scenario, but I guess Levi ended up saying the wrong thing that Petra smeared her cake -that I ordered- to him. Of course, I didn’t just give up. So, I ordered two Hamilton tickets -it was soo expensive and hard to find!- anyway, I gave one to Levi and another to Petra, and pretend that I'm the one who'll go with them" They talked in a very Hange way, fast and passionate. They sounded really proud of their plan.  “Do you want to meet her too? I bet you two will connect instantly, Imma send you her bakery’s location, how’s that?”

So, the next day Kuchel visited Petra’s bakery and immediately fell in love. She’s like….a sun personified. Like, even her entire appearance was so bright and fun. Her hair was shoulder-length wavy hair, the root was strawberry blonde and it got lighter that the tip was light blonde. Her eyes are big, round, sparkling light brown eyes, and freckles peppered her cute face. She wore an ankle-length light yellow sundress with small blue flower patterns that complement her pale skin perfectly. She talked with a lot of hand motions, and she slips her hair behind her right ears every once in a while.

Yes, this one’s definitely perfect for her Levi.

-

December 22, 5 days after that (surprisingly) emotional phone call. Kuchel woke up to the loud sound of her doorbell. Seriously, the shameless guest was ringing the bell like some kind of madman in the middle of the night. Wait, what if that's a real madman? 

Ah, screw that, she thought sleepily, whoever that is they definitely need to be taught some lesson. She got off her bed, picked a frying pan from the kitchen, and then opened her door.

It's not a shameless nor mad man. 

In front of her door, Leo was sitting on Levi's shoulders while still ringing the bell vigorously with a big grin. Beside him, Petra was fixing her hold to Liam, while the ginger-haired toddler calmly eats his lollipop.

"Gran-Gran!" Leo greeted (gosh, that boy has too much energy for his own good), while his little brother just waved his hand that wasn't holding the lolly. 

Kuchel put down her frying pan, "Hey, guys! Come in!" 

She moved to the side, letting the little family inside. Leo immediately ran off to his favorite playing spot, the cabinet under the stairs. His brother tottered sleepily behind him.  

“So…...what happened to the case?”, she asked with as much sarcasm as possible, while locking the front door again, “Finally realizing your family’s more important than some ruthless murderer?”

A/N : I love Hamilton.

[fanficshiddles]

Butterfly Into Chains, Chapter 22

Esme went into her nest, absolutely devastated about what had happened. She shrugged the Alphas off and hit out at them when they tried to assure her. She just wanted to be alone in her nest.

‘I thought omegas didn’t use their nest after giving birth.’ Said Chris.

‘They don’t normally. But she’s been through some trauma so will be seeking a safe place.’ David said quietly.

‘We will need to get her out of there. Take her out somewhere to cheer her up.’ Michael suggested.

‘Not yet. Let her grieve.’ Tom said firmly. ‘But someone needs to be in here at all times, to keep an eye on her. Make sure she’s ok and doesn’t hurt herself.’

The pack nodded in agreement.

Michael sat outside the cupboard, he put his hand inside in hopes she might hold it. But she didn’t. He could hear quiet sobs coming from her.  

‘Esme… darling. I know you’re upset, you feel like your heart has been ripped out... But I saw the faces of the couple when they held their new baby girl… They were so happy. You gave them a wonderful gift, a gift that they wouldn’t have been able to have themselves.’

‘Co… Could they not have kids of their own?’ She asked quietly.

Michael turned and pushed the blanket open a little to see her. She looked utterly broken and exhausted. He smiled softly at her. ‘Not an om’

‘Not a child of their own, no.’ Tom said over Michael as he appeared and crouched down to see her. He had a bowl of cereal for her.

Esme looked down, swallowing hard. ‘I just… I really became fond of the idea of having a child.’ Tears streamed down her face.

‘I know, lovely. But you’re young, there’s plenty of time in the future to have one of your own, to keep. Right now, you are doing something wonderful for other couples. Helping them to have children that they crave so badly.’ Tom spoke quietly.

She curled herself up, tucking her knees under her chin. She didn’t say anything, just stared at the wall. She was so conflicted. On the one hand she wanted to help people, so the thought that she made another couple happy was… nice… ish. But on the other hand, she felt betrayed by her Alphas. They hadn’t told her about what was going to happen, they just took her baby away from her without any explanation at all.

‘Esme.’ Tom said softly, stroking her cheek. She jumped and moved away from his touch. ‘Come on out, let us talk properly. Let us hold you.’

She shook her head and tried to move further into the corner, away from him.

‘Why didn’t you tell me?’ She asked, bravely looking at him. More tears falling.

‘We didn’t want to stress you out while you were pregnant. I know it may have seemed a little harsh the way we did it, but it was for the best. If you’d had time to hold her, it would’ve been a million times worse.’ Tom reached out and circled his fingers around her ankle, rubbing her skin with his thumb.

Esme didn’t respond, she leaned against the cushions at the back and closed her eyes.

‘Come on out and have something to eat.’ Tom sat up more, just half inside the cupboard.

She shook her head. ‘I’m not hungry.’ She whispered.

‘Esme.’ Tom said firmly. ‘You need to eat.’

Esme closed her eyes as she felt a shiver run through her, not a good one. She didn’t like it when Tom used that tone. But she really didn’t think she could stomach any food right now.

‘Tom.’ David said quietly as he came through to the bedroom.

Tom clenched his jaw but leaned out to look at David.

‘Let me. Michael wants to speak to you anyway.’ David said and nodded to the door.

Tom looked at Esme once more before handing the bowl of cereal to David, he gave him a look and then headed out to find Michael.

David crouched down and shuffled just inside of the cupboard, with the cereal. He looked at Esme and felt his heart sinking completely. He reached over and rubbed her arm, feeling a little hurt when she flinched at his touch.

‘I know you’re hurting, poppet. What we did to you without telling you has been… inexcusable. But we just want to help other people, and be able to give you everything you could ever need or want. To be able to spoil you… But we should’ve told you from the start, I know this.’ He sighed and ran his hand down his face.

He didn’t think it would be this difficult. He knew they would all fall in love with their omega, it was inevitable. But he never in a million years thought the process of actually selling the babies and dealing with the aftermath would be so difficult and heart breaking.

‘You need to eat, Esme. I know you don’t feel like it right now, but it will help you. And you need to get your strength back.’ He said softly as he moved further into the nest, glad when she didn’t lash out at him or cringe further away.

‘Please… I don’t want to.’ She whispered.

‘I know, but you need to. If you don’t eat willingly, I wouldn’t be surprised if Tom forces you to. Come on, pet... Do it for me?’ He pleaded, begging her with his eyes when she actually looked at him.

She slowly sat up next to him. He scooped some cereal onto the spoon and started feeding her. ‘Good girl, Esme.’ He praised when she started eating.

Esme ate about half of what was there, then she just started crying again and pushed at David’s hand.

‘No more… please.’ She cried.

David put the bowl down and put his arm around her, he was relieved when she gave in and hugged into him. She buried her face into his chest and really started crying, letting it all out again. David rubbed her back and rocked her back and fore a bit. ‘Shhh, shhh. It’s alright, poppet. It’s going to be alright.’

David just held Esme for a while, soothing her until she was all cried out. He kissed the top of her head and then picked up the last of the cereal and started eating it himself.

‘What Tom doesn’t know won’t kill him.’ He winked at Esme and was happy when she managed a small smile for him.

-

Michael was in the kitchen waiting to speak to Tom while David sorted Esme.

‘Why did you lie to her?’ Michael frowned.

‘Why were you going to tell her the truth?’ Tom countered, earning a glare from Michael.

‘I didn’t want to lie to her.’ Michael huffed.

‘If she knew that the only reason we sold her child is because the couple wanted an omega or Alpha, that wouldn’t have made her feel any better. Having her think we sell the babies because couples can’t have children at all, will make it easier for her. It’s only a small white lie, one she doesn’t need to know.’ Tom said as he folded his arms over his chest.

Michael sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose. ‘Ok, fine. I guess that makes sense.’

‘Has she eaten yet?’ Ben asked, leaning on the island counter.

‘Not yet. David is trying with her now.’ Tom sighed.

‘Is it just me, or does David seem rather effected by this too?’ Chris asked.

‘He does a bit, yes.’ Michael nodded. ‘I have a feeling the baby was maybe his.’

The Alphas all looked at him in bewilderment. ‘How do you know?’ Tom frowned.

‘Well… she did look a bit like him, his features. I get the feeling he maybe sensed more of a connection while Esme was pregnant and that’s why he seems to be taking this harder than the rest of us.’ Michael said and Ben agreed, since he was the only other one who actually saw Esme’s baby.

‘The whole idea of there being five of us breeding her is so that none of us get effected in that way.’ Tom grumbled and started pacing back and fore.

‘He seems ok though, nowhere near as bad as Esme.’ Said Ben.

‘He knows this is what the end game was all along, if he can’t deal with it, he knows where the door is.’ Tom said coldly before leaving the kitchen.

‘We should keep an eye on David. If it was his baby, he will be hurting to an extent too. No matter what Tom says, he’s still our friend at the end of the day.’ Chris said to the other two.

‘Yeah, you’re right.’ Michael said as he nodded and so did Ben.

-

The following day, David managed to coax Esme out of her nest. He got her outside for some fresh air and while they were out, Tom and Chris dismantled her nest in the cupboard. She shouldn’t need it anymore, so they decided to just take it away until she was next pregnant, then they would rebuild it for her.

She was upset when she returned to find it was just a cupboard again. But her inner instincts weren’t screaming at her to need one, so she didn’t make too much of a fuss about it.

The Alphas were happy to have her back in their bed that night. She was still a bit tense and iffy around them, aside from David. She kept seeking him out the most, snuggling into him when possible.

Ben, Michael and Chris understood and thought it would be best anyway. If the baby was David’s, they could both get through it together for now. Tom wasn’t best pleased, but he was giving them some space for now, thinking since it was her first-time giving birth it was bound to be difficult for her.

They were all having lunch together at the dining table one day, Esme was quiet, as she had been since the birth.

‘After lunch, let’s go into town. Get some ice cream and go to the beach.’ Tom suggested with a big smile as he looked at Esme across the table.

He had been expecting her face to light up completely and for her to wolf down her lunch at the thought of going out. But instead she just nodded, with a tight-lipped smile.

Esme felt a little bit happier when they did end up out and about though. She had been disappointed with the fact that David wasn’t coming, he had to go to work for a while with Michael and Chris. So it was just Tom and Ben who took her out.

They went for an ice cream first, Tom got her a double of her favourite which put a proper smile on her face. More so when Ben foolishly lost his ice cream to a seagull that came swooping down at him and stole it right out of his hand. Esme and Tom nearly peed themselves from laughing so much.

When they headed down to the beach, Esme had actually forgotten about her worries and upset. She enjoyed the sea breeze on her face and paddling in the sea. Tom and Ben gave her lots of hugs and kisses, making her feel a little fuzzy and happy again.

But it all came to a grinding halt when they were walking along the beach front and a couple passed them by with a baby in a pram. Esme stopped dead and watched as they walked by, everything suddenly came flooding back to her.

She started crying hysterically on the spot, shaking and falling to the ground. People around looked on, confused and worried.

But Tom and Ben swooped in and took hold of her arms, lifting her up they carried her kicking and screaming back to the car.

[queenxxxsupreme]

Can you please write a soft/fluffy one-shot where the reader is feeling unwell, so Jaskier takes care of her by drawing her a bath, and washing her hair. Lots of CUTE moments, such as Jaskier catching the reader wearing his shirt, and the reader confessing the reason why she is unwell is because she is pregnant. Thanks so much!

Warnings: mentions of pregnancy, bathtime, nudity but nothing sexual, implications of an eating disorder but really it’s just Jaskier jumping to conclusions

***

A large hand found the small of your back. The hand, familiar and warm, pressed flat against you, calloused fingertips gently pressing into your skin. 

“Are you sleeping, my dear?” Jaskier’s voice came from behind you.

“No.” You sighed gently. You opened your eyes and rubbed the sleep from them. You rolled over on to your back so you could see him. 

“How are you feeling?” His hand found your stomach. You tensed beneath his touch, your hands automatically coming up to cover his. He furrowed his brows together, looking down at your stomach. “Are you hurting?” He tried to pull his hands away but you wouldn’t let him. 

“I-I don’t feel good.” You couldn’t meet his eyes, your gaze finding his hand on your stomach. 

“What hurts?”

“My head.” 

“Then why did you grab my hand?” Jaskier tilted his head to the side a little. Blue eyes carefully watched you, concerned and worried. 

“Your hands are cold.” You explained, nearly patting yourself on the back for coming up with an excuse so quickly. 

A sheepish smile came to his lips and he leaned down to kiss your forehead. 

“Sorry, darling.” 

“S’okay.”

“Perhaps you should have a bath?” Jaskier suggested, raising his brows a little. 

“I don’t know, Jask.”

“Nonsense.” He waved a hand in the air as he got off of the bed. “I’ll go start one.”

You weren’t able to get a word in before he disappeared out of the room. You sighed gently, rubbing your stomach. 

You knew very well that there wasn’t any getting out of the bath. Maybe this was as good a time as any to tell him that in eight or nine months he’d be a father. 

A little while later, Jaskier returned to the room. You were staring at the ceiling, your hand absentmindedly drawing circles on your stomach. 

“Are you ready, darling?” Jaskier asked, rolling his sleeves up to his elbows. 

“I’m tired, Jask.”

“I know, my love.” He moved to your bedside. He began to pull back the blankets from your legs. “But once you get a bath, you need to eat something. You haven’t eaten all morning.”

“M’just gonna throw it up.” 

“Okay well we can worry about that when that time comes.” Jaskier took hold of your ankles and pulled you around so your legs were hanging off the edge of the bed. 

You whined but did little to stop him as he unlaced the sleeping trousers you wore. He tugged them off and then patted the outside of your thigh. 

“Come on, love. You can’t expect me to do this all by myself.”

You groaned as you sat up, putting a frown on your lips. Jaskier grabbed the hem of your top and pulled it off of you. 

Then he scooped you up in his arms and took you to the bathroom. 

“How long have you been feeling badly?” He asked, looking down at you. 

“Since I woke up.” You admitted. 

He pressed a kiss to your forehead. 

He placed you down feet first into the tub and then once you relaxed against the warm stones, he knelt down by the tub. 

“Let’s wash your hair.” He suggested. 

You crossed your arms over your stomach, wanting to hide as much of the bump as you could. You knew you’d been gaining weight. Your more form fitting dresses didn’t fit properly and not many of your pants wanted to go up over your waist. 

Jaskier noticed the way you seemed to hug yourself. 

“Are you cold?” He asked, pouring a cup full of water carefully over your head. 

“No.” You answered. “Why?”

“Just wanted to make sure you’re okay.” 

He began to hum softly to you as he washed your hair and then while he moved into the other room to gather your clothes, you washed your body. 

When Jaskier returned, he held out a towel for you. You started to stand but, but then at the last minute you remembered about the baby. 

“Jaskier? Can I…. Can I get dressed alone?” You asked, your voice timid. 

He seemed a little taken back by your words, confused. 

“Of course.” He nodded, setting the towel on the stool next to the tub. “I’ll, um, I’ll go make you some tea. How does that sound?”

“Lovely.” You smiled. “Thank you.” 

He returned the smile and moved to the edge of the tub. One hand cradled the back of your head while he leaned down to kiss your temple. 

“I love you, you know that don’t you?”

“Of course I do.” You nodded. “And I love you.” 

You watched him leave the room, pulling the door shut behind him. 

You let out a little breath, then stood up. You dried yourself off and then looked at the clothes head gotten for you. You frowned. It was a skirt and a top. They were comfortable to wear but you didn’t want to wear that. 

You wrapped the towel tightly around yourself and went to the bedroom. You got into Jaskier’s wardrobe, rummaging through the many bright and colorful pieces he had until you found a blue tunic top. 

You slipped the top on and abandoned the towel on the floor. You’d get it later. For now, your head and your stomach were begging you to lay down. 

You got comfy in the bed, laying on your side with a pillow under your head. You closed your eyes for what felt like just a few seconds. The next thing you knew, Jaskier was kneeling down beside the bed, his fingers brushing through your hair. 

“You must really be tired, darling. Maybe I should send for a healer?”

“No, that’s not necessary.” You shook your head, reaching out to run your fingers through his dark hair. 

“It looks like you stole one of my shirts.” He commented, messing with the hem of the shirt you wore. You smiled sheepishly. 

“I like how it smells like you. And it’s warm.”

“I can keep you warm.” He carefully climbed over you to get into bed. He wrapped his arms securely around you, his hands resting on your stomach. 

You were comfortable, except for the fact that he was holding your stomach. What if he could feel the bump? What if the baby kicked? Was it too early for the baby to kick?

You took his wrist and moved his hand off of your stomach so that instead it rested on your hip. The other hand you moved a little further down to your hip. But you said nothing. You weren’t ready to tell him. You wanted to do something special to tell him that he’d be a father. 

“Was that uncomfortable for you, darling?” He asked, curious. He wanted to know for future reference.

“I-I just…. I didn’t like that too much.” You admitted, your voice quiet. 

His breath was soft against your ear, his lips just inches from it. 

“My love, I don’t mind your size.” 

Your eyes widened and you turned your head to look at him.

“What?”

“Isn’t that what this is about?” He furrowed his brows together. 

You sat up and turned to face him. 

“What the hell are you talking about, Jaskier?”

“I’ve seen the way you’ve been lately.” Jaskier propped himself up on one elbow. “So what you’ve gained a couple pounds? I happen to think you look absolutely stunning.”

You couldn’t find words to properly explain how confused you were. But he could see it on your face. He ran a hand over his face and shook his head. 

“You rarely let me see you naked anymore. You cover your stomach whenever I do see you naked. You know that your size doesn’t matter to me, Y/N.”

“Jaskier, that’s-that’s not it.” You shook your head.

“Is that why you aren’t eating today?” His tone softened and heartbreak crossed his features. “My love, please tell me you aren’t-,”

“No! No, Jaskier! That’s not it.” You quickly cut him off, not wanting to let his mind wander and his panic rise. 

“Then what is it?” He furrowed his brows together. 

You didn’t answer immediately, instead choosing to let your gaze linger on his lips. 

“I’m pregnant.” You murmured quietly. “And-And everything I eat lately has been making me sick.”

His breath caught in his throat. 

“You’re…. pregnant?” He repeated, his voice soft. 

You nodded, tears welling in your eyes. Before you even had a chance to do anything, he was pulling you into his lap. He tucked your head beneath his chin and let out a shaky breath.

“Oh gods.” He breathed out, a little laughing coming with the noise. “I’m- Y/N, I’m going to be a father! Oh, my love, my heart. You had me worried there for a moment. Oh, sweetheart. Don’t cry!”

“I can’t help it.” You sniffled, turning to bury your face in his neck. “I-I’m scared, Jask.”

“Oh fuck. Me too. But we’re going to be parents! You need to eat! You haven’t eaten all day! The baby must be starving!”

“Jask, I’m going to throw it up.” You whined as he pulled away and started to get out of bed. 

“Darling, I know it isn’t fun but you need to eat something. At least try. The baby needs food, and so do you.”

You looked down at where he held your hand. Your thumb brushed over the wedding band on his finger. 

“I’m really fucking scared, Jaskier.” You cried, your face scrunching up as the tears escaped your eyes. 

“You aren’t alone, my love.” He engulfed you in a warm hug, offering you comfort in the warmth of his chest. “But we’re going to go through this together. I’ll be with you every step of the way. I promise.”

“Thank you, Jask.” You sniffled.

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