#I’m kinda figuring out now that I want them to live in caves

[muddi-gutz]

Now that I’m seeing people make snow na’vi with white hair I wanna change mey up 😗

[dreamcatcher92]

Secret Santa

Summary: You start a new job in the big city. You’ve been quite the loner your entire life, but Billy Russo seems to be able to bring you out of that shell of yours.

Warnings: Language, mentions of alcohol, 18+, sexual content.

This is my first one shot, so I hope you guys like it! 🙂 Happy Holidays! 

And as always, thank you all so much for the likes and support!!

Christmas was fast approaching, and you just weren’t in the holiday spirit. You were still new to city life since you were used to living in a small rural town in Kentucky and stuck to your daily routine of going to work, then going straight home.  You had just started your secretary job at ANVIL, and just wanted to focus on doing your job well. 

Chloe and Mackenzie, your two new friends from work, had other ideas for you this evening though. Tonight was the company Christmas party, and the girls begged and begged for you to join them tonight until finally, you caved and agreed to go for a couple of hours. 

“I promise you’ll have fun! Just wear something cute and meet us in the lobby around seven!” Chloe said excitedly as she smiled from ear to ear. 

After the work day was over, you rushed home to figure out what to wear tonight. Chloe and Mackenzie had both shown you pictures of the dresses they planned on wearing, so you knew that you needed to find the best dress you own. You were extremely nervous about going out tonight, but felt like maybe with your friends there with you, it wouldn’t be so bad.

An hour had passed and now you only had about 45 minutes left to finish getting ready and make your way to the high-end hotel that was rented out for the evening's event. You had settled on a knee length gold sequin dress that you wore to a cousin’s wedding once. Paired with your outfit, you chose to wear a pair of red heels and put just a tiny bit of makeup on. 

All of a sudden as you were finishing the final touches on your hair, your phone began to ding.

Chloe: Guys, I am sooooo excited for tonight! Maybe Xander will finally give me a chance!

Mackenzie: Chlo….Xander is such a player! You deserve way better!!

Chloe: Ugh! Don’t be such a downer! 

Chloe: Y/n you ready for tonight!?

Y/n: I think so! I’m almost done getting ready and then I’ll be heading to the venue. Seven still right?

Mackenzie: Yep!

Chloe: Yesss! See you both soon!

You arrived about five minutes early to the party and were relieved when you turned around to look out the door to see Chloe and Mackenzie walking in together to meet you. They greeted you with a hug and the three of you made your way upstairs to the party. 

There were so many people. It made you feel a bit uncomfortable, but knowing that your new friends were close by and had your back if needed made you feel a bit better. You looked around to see who all came and recognized a few others from the same floor you work on. You hadn’t met too many people because you’ve only worked at ANVIL for about three months. 

The girls decided to go talk to a few of their other friends, leaving you alone on the floor. So, you decided to go to the bar and grab a cocktail. After finally getting the bartender's attention, you ordered yourself a whiskey sour and walked out onto the balcony to look at the view of the city and get some fresh air. 

“Mind if I join you?” a deep voice says from behind you making you jump slightly.

You turn to see a tall, sexy, brown haired, and dark eyed man speaking to you, “Um, sure!”

The man walks up and stands beside you. You both gaze across the night sky taking in the beautiful lights of the city and feeling the brisk air blow on your faces.You feel a huge knot in your throat and your stomach is filled with butterflies. You think this man could very well be the most handsome man you’ve ever laid your eyes on. Is he really talking to me? Keep it together!

“Kinda chilly out to be standing outside by yourself.” he says looking down at you with a grin and a whiskey in his hand.

Your cheeks flush, “Yeah, it’s a bit cold out here I suppose. I just needed some air and to get away from all of those people. I’m not a huge fan of crowds.”

“Yeah, same, but I kinda have to be here so…” he says just before taking a sip of his drink.

“Why’s that?” you question.

He smiles and locks eyes with you, “Because I own the company, so if I don’t show then I’d look like an ass.”

It dawns on you that you’re speaking to THE Billy Russo himself. You’ve yet to meet him because of his busy schedule and huge involvement with training his own men. The butterflies in your stomach turn to a nauseated feeling and all you could focus on was to make sure not to say the wrong thing or sound like an absolute idiot.

“Oh! Y-You’re…” is all you manage to get out before Billy cuts you off.

“Your boss?” he laughs.

“Y-Yes, my boss.” you giggle.

“Billy Russo.” he reaches out to shake your hand.

You take his hand and introduce yourself to him. You can’t help but tremble a bit when his soft lips place a gentle kiss on the back of your hand. He notices your hand shaking a bit and grins as he looks back up to meet your eyes. Your eyes widen at this realization that he’s caught you.

“Don’t worry sweetheart, I won’t bite. Hard” Billy smiles and winks.

You let out a small nervous chuckle and the two of you stand and talk for a while. After a few more drinks and hours of chatting, Billy offered to give you a ride home, you happily agreed. There was this charm about Billy that made you swoon and give full trust to him. 

A few days have passed, and you haven’t heard from or seen Billy since the night of the party. You didn’t really think much of it because he is a very busy man after all. After lunch, you returned to your desk to find a single red rose lying on your keyboard with a note underneath that read, “A beautiful rose, for a beautiful girl. - Your Secret Santa.”

This was a joke right? Never in your life had this happened to you. Your face immediately flushed and you looked around to see if anyone was looking. 

You finished your shift and could not stop thinking about the rose and note. Surely this wasn’t Billy, right? He would NEVER be interested in someone like me. You tried to chalk it up to being some sort of prank that Chloe and Mackenzie have played on you. That’s got to be it. 

Once you got home and were fixing yourself something to eat, you were suddenly startled by a knock at the door. You sit your glass of wine on the countertop and walk over to peak out the peephole of your front door. Billy?!

Opening the door, you look up and meet Billy’s dark eyes, “Billy? Wha - What are you doing here?”

Billy smiles and pulls a red rose from behind his back and hands it to you, “I wanted to give you this one in person.”

Your heart skips a beat and your eyes widen, “I - I thought Chloe and Mackenzie left me that rose?”

“What?” Billy laughs.

“I just thought they were playing a prank on me. I mean, I thought that maybe…”

“Maybe what?”

“Well, I thought that maybe it was you, but then I thought that there was no way that you would like someone like…well like me. I’m nobody. I -”

Billy cuts you off by swiftly cupping your face and gently kissing your lips. Your eyes fall shut and you drop the rose on the floor as you bring your hands up to run your fingers through his soft hair. When he pulls back from the kiss, you realize that he is holding onto you tightly around your waist.

“I hope that was okay for me to do. Y/N, you’re not nobody. Don’t ever think that.” Billy says to you as he lifts you off the ground to have your legs now wrapped around him.

You look deeply into his eyes and nod your head. You lean back in to kiss him again. Billy carries you inside and kicks the door shut with one of his feet.

He sits down on the couch with you on top of his lap. Your mind is racing. You’ve never done anything like this before, but for whatever reason, this felt right. Your panties were soaked with arousal, and all you could think about was riding his cock.

As you straddle his lap, you sit back, stare at him for a moment, and smile, “So, Secret Santa huh?”

Billy chuckles as he runs a hand through your hair and meets your intense gaze, “Kinda cheesy I know.”

You shake your head, “I think it’s cute actually.”

He grins and runs his fingers down the length of your back and grabs hold of your ass, “Oh yeah? What else you thinkin’ about sweetheart?” 

You lean in and whisper into his ear, “Unzip those pants of yours and find out.”

[spicyicetea]

HIIII, I love your writing!!! Like your my source of my alone time when not crying or crafting, or gaming! ( We have stuff in common :D). SOOOOO, I have a recommendation!! It would be pretty cool to have you do this sooooo Like Yeah! But could you do a part two to the Link x Milf reader because I loved that one ( Cuz im like that ;) ). And could you do Totk Link x cuddly reader.

Ps. My computer dosnt let me write question Marks :l

LOVE UR WRITING :D -Madisu Kulina

Awww you’re legit so sweet! Eeee it’s messages like this that make me wanna keep posting. I’m actually already working on a pt 2 for the Milf!Y/N and I’ll make sure to tag you in it once it’s done. So for now I’ll do the other request. I assume you’d also like this to be yandere themed as it’s kinda my main thing at this point. I’ll split this into bullet points and then a short imagine.

Usual warnings: Yandere behaviour, NSFW topics mentioned but no actual smut. MDNI.

TOTK Link x Cuddly, Fem! Y/N

Link has always hit me as the type of Yandere who loves a physically affectionate reader. Being able to be near someone and protect them is a big deal, especially with all the crazy things happening in Hyrule.

If this is before Ganondorf was defeated, he takes you everywhere with him.

Each Sage he recruited knows you are his priority and to protect you with their lives or face him in a battle. None of them wanted that, they knew better.

You were a Hylian woman he bumped into while visiting Hateno village. Watching you man the fields awoke something in him. A gorgeous woman like you shouldn’t have to work day and nights just to get food and a roof over her head. She deserves to be pampered. And he can do that for you.

He practically swept you off your feet and proclaimed he would marry you once he defeated Ganondorf. He plans to keep that promise.

You ride sitting in front of him on Epona so he can make sure you’re comfortable. When he jumps off to fight or explore on foot, you stay on the saddle, Epona prepared to run for the hills as her master has instructed should danger even look your way.

He was fully prepared to be the “bad guy”. Making sure you would appreciate his generosity and gentle handling when he could be so rough. He needed you to need him.

But, he figured out he didn’t need to rather quickly.

It was a cold and he had left to handle a monster infestation near where you had been camping. The rain lashed at the ground outside the cave you and Epona were hunkered in for safety. The oversized tunic you wore as a makeshift dress club to your form, soaked with water. Flint sparks as you tried to start up the fire, having moved some spare sticks into the cave. It just wouldn’t work. With a heavy sigh, you hunkered over, shivering while fiddling with the flint in your hands.

“Y/N… you’re cold.” A familiar voice rang.

Link stood behind you, soaked by the rain. He tossed his pouch aside, prepared to strip you so he could dry your clothes. With a sigh, he took his gloves off but when he went to grab you, he jolted to a stop. Your arms wrapped around him, your cheek nuzzling his chin.

“Link! I was so worried, I missed you.” You pouted up at him.

His face flushed red and he hugged you tightly back, peppering your face with kisses. You truly were his adorable little wife. He couldn’t wait to have you back at his home where you’d stay safe for him to come home to each day.

His day dreaming was interrupted as you tugged at his shirt and trousers. Your greedy hands couldn’t get enough of him, maybe he’d have to give you what you wanted. He had planned for your first intimate experience to be on your wedding day but he’s more than willing to jump the gun. Oh how he would love to fold you and abuse that tight pretty c-

“Link! You need to dry your clothes!”

“Oh…”

Yes… he couldn’t wait to marry you. His touchy little princess.

[devildogdemon]

Bracing myself for committing potential Everlark sacrilege here. Still, I’m curious: Does anyone else ever dabble in the What If/headcanon that Peeta made up his original crush on Katniss? That in the beginning, it really was all just part of his and Haymitch's plan to hype Katniss up, and help boost her favor as the super rare chance for a District 12 Victor? But in the course of the first games, and particularly while committing to the star-crossed lovers act in the cave, he ended up actually falling in love with her?

This was actually my original interpretation the first time I read the first book. That all the rest of the backstory is still true: Mr. Mellark pointing Katniss out, Katniss singing the Valley song, etc. But it was just how Peeta remembered her, not the beginning of years-long pining.

Quick disclaimer: I'm not trying to argue for this headcanon's legitimacy. In fact, I now know it's not true. While writing this post, I remembered that Peeta told Katniss during the Victory Tour he was jealous of Gale before he officially met her. So by his own words, Peeta's crush predates the first Hunger Games.

Still, reading the first book on its own, it’s a headcanon I always come back to, and I think works in its own way sometimes.

For one thing, it’s a bit beyond my suspension of disbelief that Peeta was reaped alongside the girl he was silently obsessed with for 11 years. It feels way more like convenience to me than destiny or anything like that. Not to mention, this is supposedly a crush that began and persisted long before Peeta hit puberty.

But it’s not just the realistic aspect that draws me to this hc. It's also because I love how much it contributes to the 'accidental soulmates' aspect on Everlark. The idea that these two were not meant to fall in love. That if their lives went the way they thought or planned, they never would have spoken. They would have rarely crossed paths, if at all. They would have married different people, if anyone when it came to Katniss, but Gale would be the sole candidate if she did. And they would have lived out their days and died as strangers. But through a series of completely unforeseen, bizarre circumstances in this cruel world that brought them together in the most horrific of ways, from it emerged a real bond between them. Even if it started as a charade for sponsors, it morphed into a real bond of love and care that was genuine, and beautiful, and selfless, and real.

My take is essentially that Peeta took his mother's final words to him about Katniss as bitingly true, not that that made them any less hurtful. And from that point forward, he figured if he was going to do something worthwhile before his inescapable death, it would be to help his District. And the way to do that would be to help the girl who could do that better than he ever could.

Sure, there are things like him keeping hold on Katniss' hand during the chariot ride, and teasingly prodding her for a kiss while she's treating him. But...ok, I hesitate to project onto a boy who was and is leagues above me in every way (feel free to flame me for this). But as a former 16-year old boy myself, who was roughly that age when first reading the story, I kinda figured he just wanted to experience a taste of romance before his inevitable death? Like the PG version of "I don't want to die a virgin."

Anywho, gonna whistle past that embarassing hot take lol. But I think this hc gels well too with all his actions Katniss finds questionable: telling her everyone was watching her during the chariot ride, the crush revelation, teaming up with the careers to throw them off her trail, and fighting Cato. He's doing it all for her to win, even at the expense of himself. Not because he has feelings for her (yet), but because he believes in her.

But it's at the point when Katniss finds him in the mud bank, and she does everything in her power from then on to keep him alive, that maybe his feelings for her take a turn for the real. She shouldn't be trying to keep him alive. It’s of no benefit to her whatsoever. But she refuses to let him die. She will not even discuss it. It makes zero sense to him. No one's ever valued his life this much, even his own family. Why is this girl he barely knows, who never noticed him before, suddenly sparing no expense to keep him alive? To the point of risking her own life for him?

This comes to a head when he tries to rebuke her for going to the feast:

"No! Just don't, Katniss! Don't die for me. You won't be doing me any favors. All right? "Maybe I did it for myself, Peeta, did you ever think of that? Maybe you aren't the only one who...who worries about..what it would be like if..." "If what, Katniss?" "That's exactly the kind of topic Haymitch told me to steer clear of." "Then I'll just have to fill in the blanks myself."

On that last line, I took that as Peeta seeing for the first time that Katniss actually does care about him. More than anyone ever has. That she wants him to live, just as much as she wants them to win. And that's when he truly falls for her. Sadly, he makes the mistake of presuming she feels the same way. That's the only blank he filled in incorrectly.

But did he, though? Because what follows that last line is the first kiss between them that makes Katniss feel "stirring in her chest" and "wanting another." This whole conversation made her want to shut the world out, because "whatever I'm feeling, it's no one's business but mine."

So maybe their feelings for each other kinda awoke at the same time? And deep, deep down, the two of them could sense that shift in emotion toward each other. Where performance became reality. For Peeta, much stronger. But for Katniss, she's not quite there yet.

Now yes, I'm aware Katniss gets Peeta to tell the story of his crush AFTER this happens. But as Katniss points out prior to this, he's the silver-tongued one. Not to mention an established good liar. So keeping with the idea this was when he first noticed her, maybe he blends the facts here a little, and decides to make this the point of where his crush began? He probably had it in the vault anyway since the interview.

Finally, I thought this better explained Peeta's anger at the end, when the mask is finally lifted for him. Because logically, why would he think what started as an established act would become real for Katniss? As Katniss says, they were strangers who'd never spoken before all this. Is it because he still thinks she can't lie? Well she proved him wrong there, if only for a moment. I thought the more likely reason he thought Katniss' feelings for him became real, is because that's exactly what happened to him. As I mentioned before, his presumption wasn't entirely off, and Katniss' words that "not all of it" was for the Games are true enough. But it doesn't make the revelation any less crushing for him.

I really do wonder sometimes what kind of story this would have made for if Suzanne took this approach in the sequels. I know now it's an incorrect headcanon, but I'm curious if anyone else ever shared it while reading the first book, and wonders the same.

If you read all my silly ramblings about a now-debunked headcanon, I am both eternally grateful and eternally sorry. Feel free to share, concur, roast, or do whatever in response. Thank you and may this ship be ever on your dashboard :)

[wavesoutbeingtossed]

Dead dashboard confessional parasocial hours: it’s been so nice to see Taylor kind of reclaim her place in the world and work out in real time what does or doesn’t feel good in terms of being out there, and she’s clearly flourishing on a personal level by taking in all these experiences! And idk if it’s just the late hour or the post-livestream hangover or what, but it just kinda feels like something shifted yet again last week — like she and Travis did their goofy little skit because Theatre Kids and it was fun and felt good and she’s like “YES more of that please!”

And I’m not saying that as in “omg she’s going to publish her entire life online now” at all, but more in like, it’s kind of endearing to see her try these new things and figure out her boundaries and be like “yes this sparks joy and I want more of it in my life” (or on the flip side, cutting out the things that don’t and protecting her peace). I know that ET article earlier today was just a fluff piece to keep stoking the fires until they can actually Say It, but there’s something about Tree’s the quote saying they had fun coming up with it and were glad they got to share that moment together and want to keep having fun like that was just really sweet. And again, I don’t think it means they’re going to publicize their lives regularly by any means, I really do feel like it was like, “hey you know what would be funny?” And they took it from there — almost like that skit was for them and we were lucky to be bystanders to the bit lol. They just have so much fun together and it shows. I don’t think they’re trying to capitalize off their relationship, I think it’s just the pop star on a global stage equivalent of that one couple you have in your friend group that always goes all out for Halloween with the elaborate couple costume and commits to the bit every year.

It just seems like they’re really settling into things and figuring out as they go along how they can do the things they want to do within the parameters of what feels safe and joyful and is less scary than it once was. Taylor got to take part in her own way in something meaningful to Travis (e.g. the Super Bowl) and he’s gotten to take part in something meaningful to her (the show) and it’s just really sweet how they embrace each other’s worlds. And maybe it was “new and defining” because Taylor’s never been that overt before on stage on a tour of this scale, and not only did the world not cave in, she had a blast and got to have a chuckle. For someone who said she always wished she had someone by her side to share her successes with and never did even in her longest relationship previously, it’s got to be wild to literally have her partner on stage with her on her record-breaking tour.

No wonder she’s probably gagged at all this. The universe really did shift and it was all for them etc.

[thwackk]

kinda want a summary of the morals of Henry Danger discussion...

I mostly talked about one thing because I saw one post from like 4 years ago that pissed me off LMAO. And it’s not that deep, but i’m making it that deep for a minute:

So long story short, I got mad at people treating Ray like he’s some bad and horrible person for allowing Henry to basically sign his life away at 13 years old. Now obviously, that’s not a good thing or responsible. But we gotta remember that Ray got his powers at a MUCH younger age than when Henry started and was basically forced into the superhero gig by his father and quite literally MISSED OUT on having a childhood. So i’m pretty sure this guy doesn’t know shit abt acting normal, or having normal morals, and he definitely doesn’t know shit abt kids.

He’s been living in a cave fighting crime mostly by himself for like 20+ years like fucking batman or whatever, of course he’s not normal. Yeah this is irresponsible, but he didn’t really know how BAD it was. Also bringing up the fact that Henry had the choice to leave or quit literally any time, Ray was never FORCING him to be there. Henry loved it most of the time, and he got a good friend/mentor figure out of it. He’s not the greatest, but he’s not a bad one, and one he genuinely loves and cares abt, and vice versa.

It’s like saying batman is a horrible father and then acting like he’s completely evil, like it doesn’t make sense. Yeah Batman’s a bad father that’s true, BUT IT MAKES COMPLETE SENSE OF COURSE HE’S A BAD FATHER, LOOK AT THAT GUY. That doesn’t make him evil or mean that he doesn’t love his kids genuinely. (there are some versions of batman out there that do NOT make sense however but I am just bringing this up to make a shitty point). An extremely unfair point actually because Ray didn’t adopt henry first of all, and he’s SIGNIFICANTLY kinder, more patient, and emotionally available to this kid. they are genuinely friends, it’s a pretty healthy relationship.

anyways, gist of it is that just because an adult logically knows better (usually) doesn’t mean they are going to make good choices about it all the time. No adult actually feels like an adult, and no adult is right about everything so stop expecting them to be in fiction. that’s unrealistic, stop putting characters on pedestals they’re allowed to be human and do bad things sometimes because that’s what human beings DO.

does this mean it’s excused?? NO, all i’m saying is that we gotta stop being immature abt characters and expecting them to be perfect, it makes them infinitely more interesting that way.

[10piecechickenmcnugget]

Howdy! Under my post you offered to talk about Purpled's lore/character and it would be really cool is you did that!

You have unlocked an unskippable cutscene I could literally talk about this for days on end

under the read more cause this is gonna be LONG

okay SO the very basics of Purpleds character is just he’s a really skilled fighter, so he became a mercenary to put those skills to use

ccpurpled said himself that cpurpled just wants money and power

but despite this, he’s not a fan of conflict at all, and prefers to avoid fights and wars whenever possible

a favorite quote of mine, “I’m like Switzerland, I don’t really fight, but when I do fight, I win” (not word for word I forgor)

he greatly prefers to keep to himself, and just gather materials and chill with his dog and mind his own business, because he’s seen what happens to everyone else, and doesn’t want any part of it

Early in the server, before he did a lot of serious lore, he had a decent amount of relatively positive relationships with a couple people, and he didn’t necessarily hang out with them or anything but he trusted them

he mostly just sat around and built stuff, the first big thing he was a part of was the Manberg vs Pogtopia war

-karl recruited him against his will

-he ran around for like 30 minutes just rambling about how he had no idea what was going on ever

-he fought for like 3 minutes before switching sides

-*getting killed by fireworks* “IM ON YOUR SIDE” “YOU WERENT BEFORE”

-was dead silent for like 40 minutes as he just ran around fighting people and no one acknowledged him

-schlatt fucking died “did he just have a heart attack?!?” “He just fucking died!!” And then went silent again

-the whole thing were no one wanted to be president

-it ended up being tubbo

-no one could figure out who the traitor was

-watched wilbur die right after lmanberg blew up

-killed one of the withers and was very proud of himself

-Connor joined the game, left the game, joined the game, stole purpleds pants, and left

-purpled went home, reiterated that he had no idea what the fuck just happened, and ended stream

this is so long already but wait, there’s more!!

not a whole lot important happened after that, he was still living in a cabin of the main path, and his UFO was just kinda vibing (that’s a surprise tool that will help us later)

he kinda chilled on his own, and suddenly the Eggpire is a thing! Purpled has no friends, so he doesn’t care!! (There are vines all over his UFO but he doesn’t live there anymore so he doesn’t do anything about it)

suddenly Ponk wants to talk to him, and now uh oh, BadBoyHalo is in some random ass cave trying to hire Purpled to kidnap Puffy

purpled has nothing better to do, so he takes the job

he doesn’t log on for months, so Quackity puts bombs in his house

suddenly purpled logs on and Quackitys like “I understand this looks bad but I want to hire you”

“what’s this another mercenary job?” God forbid someone hire him to do his job

he accepts, and badda bang badda book now he’s working against the Eggpire

Q, purpled, and Techno are going to take down the red banquet, and then Quackity decides to be an asshole (Purpled and Techno want to go in and help, but Quackity makes them wait and foolish dies, then Quackity goes in and plays the hero)

they beat the shit out of the Eggpire (bad is not happy with purpled)

purpled leads everyone out of bads creepy basement ��you’re a hero, purpled” “I try my best”

purpled wants his payment for helping the duck man

Duck man pays him, and then breaks the entire fandom and blows up purpleds ufo right in front of him!

purpled wants to kill him, Quackity tries to convince him not to, tells him that he’s basically nothing now, and purples goes home

fucking dumbass blows up his own house after having 37 mental breakdowns

slime is spying on him and purples wants to strangle him

he goes to las Nevadas, “I just want to make it very clear that I don’t think there will ever be a point in time where I respect you as a person,” and joins LN just like Q wanted!! Surely nothing bad will happen!!

~timeskip~

Quackity has an anxiety attack, purpled leads them to the most unnecessary trap ever, he and Q yell at each other, Quackity does a fucky wucky, and now Slimecicle is dead

purpled just fucking walks away like the girlboss he is, and later kidnaps slimes corpse and traps him in a cave

Punz shows up, says some stuff, purples agrees to work for him and dream (this will not go well)

they raid las nevadas!! dream blows some shit up, foolish releases an army of slimes, and purpled yells at Quackity some more

slime reveals he’s not actually a dumbass and shoves purples of off a balcony

and then the server fucking ended so I guess that’s that!

so, long story short, purpled is pretty much just a badass but also cringefail assassin, who does not like people or conflict, and has cared about two things ever (his ufo and his dog, which is thankfully still alive), but is also still just a teenager, and has some shit going on.

he doesn’t care about a lot, but he does have silly little feelings sometimes and the only two times he ever showed that he blew up his own house and the second time he fucking died

[watchtowerindistress]

we are not our demons (18/24) - bruce wayne x batmom

Gif source: jokerous

Author's note: SHIT'S ABOUT TO GET REAL, BITCHES! instantly regrets the endearment A lot of things will be happening this chapter, so you'd better strap in, I'm serious. This chapter is actually longer than I expected, lol. It's one of the chapters I've been anticipating the most and therefore was most afraid to write.

This is the first time I did a Nolan/Tarantino and just switched the chronological timeline, but this time it was deliberate. I had big issues starting this off (what else is new?), so I just changed it up a bit.

Please excuse me using some 'The Killing Joke' quotes and butchering the whole everything of that comic. [Read more at the end.]

Beta-read by Heidi.

Words: 6.2k

Warning: language, violence, kinda dark themes

Please reblog/leave a comment.

Series Masterlist | Want to be tagged? | Read on AO3

Hang my head

Drown my fear

‘Til you all just disappear

- Black Hole Sun by Soundgarden -

“Gotta say, weirdest feeling ever being invited into Arkham,” Dick’s voice reverberated through the comms with an equal blend of weirded-out and teasing.

Behind her glasses, Ellie’s eyes narrowed when Dick’s blue-and-black superhero outfit came into view on the next CCTV camera. She tilted her head. “Are you walking on tiptoes right now?”

Dick’s lone figure tensed briefly and continued walking with a flatter stride, but ultimately his shoulders remained strained. “I was a circus artist. Learned ballet and stuff,” Dick defended with a calm voice.

“Please keep off the comms unless it’s important. Don’t get sidetracked,” Bruce’s modulated voice echoed in her ears with a deep timbre.

Someone meant business.

Ellie pressed her lips together to ward off her blushing cheeks. Perhaps she was getting ahead of herself due to her nerves and the excitement for tonight’s mission. “Check,” she conceded and studied the available cameras for the asylum, but Batman’s shape still remained to be seen. Judging from his tracker, he was in the elevator shaft getting closer to the crème de la crème of the place.

“Are we sure it’s tonight, Batman?” Damian asked dubiously and brought them back to the mission preparation they just had before in the Batcave.

“Wait, run that by me again.” Ellie licked her lips and felt herself blinking furiously at what Bruce just revealed impromptu.

He sent her a furtive glance when he jostled the phone prototype amid the quiet hum of the elevator leading its inhabitants down to the basement.

“What did that guy say exactly?”

His eyes paused on her, with his eyebrow lifted high on his forehead. “You mean verbatim?”

“Why don’t you start by revealing who that was on the Bat-phone?”

Other than his throat clearing, Bruce remained unfazed when he spoke, “I got someone in the inside of the asylum. He told me the patients have been acting restlessly as of late.”

Ellie merely pursed her lips and a crease formed on her forehead at the absurdity of that one confession.

Dick stated, “Okay, most eerie sentence ever,” and let his finger point in the air to share his playful opinion.

“I concur wholeheartedly,” Ellie agreed with a swaying head before a sigh left her lips. “And here I thought I’d get a more challenging task than the Asylum’s defense.”

“There is more than just Arkham Asylum out there. Trust me,” Bruce replied with an indulgent smirk.

Ellie’s shoulders dropped in accepting disappointment. “Alright.”

As soon as everyone filtered into the cave, Ellie could get to work. After a combination of soft keystrokes, the monitors came to life.

Damian was silently watching the live footage of an athletic Harley Quinn doing slow and relaxing Yoga poses. At the moment she was cultivating an elaborate handstand that would make Ellie envious if she wasn’t this distracted by more important matters.

Bruce nodded to himself, having made up his mind for their mission. “It’s tonight. It has to be.”

“Wait, what’s with this mood lighting?” Dick’s head whipped around, almost like he was noticing the atmosphere for the first time. His voice reached her ears in a mischievous lilt.

Ellie glanced up from her position to be more aware of her surroundings. Dick managed to wrap that truth with a shroud of playfulness once he had his first impression of the modified cave.

Just like Bruce had promised, Alfred had dimmed the lights considerably until the fluorescence was no longer blinding. It even astonished and left her heart aflutter. Not to mention seeing a few technical adjustments to their hideout.

There was always this fascination seeing new technology within her grasp. Especially when she moved towards the object that had the impression of a normal—if not pricey-looking—table standing in the middle of their base. Her fingers reverently touched the milk glass, almost like she could feel being in the presence of high tech, only to see a ripple effect forming underneath.

The words ‘Welcome Miss Rhodes’ conjured next to her right.

Ellie didn’t know whether to feel freaked out or mesmerized by this tech’s high prowess in knowing her identity.

“I adapted the tech to fit your needs.”

Behind her, the soothing warmth of Bruce’s body resembled that of a shield originating from her right side. Ellie’s mesmerized gaze moved away from the touchscreen display to shift over towards the new presence.

Before she could continue asking, Bruce explained like he had been reading her mind, “It’s linked to a satellite of Wayne Enterprises. We call it the Satellite Intelligence and Gravitational Network of Artificial Level. S.I.G.N.A.L. for short.”

“You have a satellite?” Her head turned in surprise before she muttered quietly, “Of course, you have a satellite.” Ellie shook her head in disbelief. “I can’t believe you just gifted me a satellite.”

Bruce shrugged with a quiet sigh. “The one we had to rebuild after Superman destroyed it, yes. And it’s a satellite link.”

The boys seemed to have noticed their exchange when—like a kid on Christmas awaiting their presents—Dick’s laser-focused glance switched over to her new toy.

“Oh dang, holy Batman!” he exclaimed before his emotional outburst morphed into a reverential murmur the closer he ventured towards them. “New gadgets,” Dick murmured with an awe-filled voice.

“Just for the HQ.” Bruce barely tamed his son’s elation with the lift of an eyebrow.

Dick shrugged haphazardly at that. “I don’t mind. Just so you know, my escrima sticks could use an upgrade too, you know?” It was hard to imagine how his pout could rival Tim’s. “An extra kick would be nice, y’know what I mean?”

Ellie didn’t see Bruce’s reaction, but his long sigh was the familiar epitome to Dick’s playful ideas, or maybe just the weariness of parenthood had been creeping up on him. Listening quietly, Ellie’s brows lifted high on her forehead. Half curious about their conversation and half expectant to get to their nightly mission.

“We’ll see,” Bruce mumbled, crossing his arms over his chest. “Maybe Alfred could try his hand at that,” he offered with a contemplative expression.

Dick’s arrogant pout was perfectly in sync with his head nodding in understanding.

Bruce’s eyes met Damian’s expectantly, whose arm leaned with a devil-may-care attitude against the edge of the table. Ellie absolutely loved this state-of-the-art technology. It was one of the reasons why her eyes lingered with deep fascination on the interface display slowly coming to life, and not Bruce’s response.

“Anything else to add to the shopping list, Damian?”

“I could use a flamethrower,” the young one replied with a blank expression, and kept going once he met the anticipating faces of his father and Ellie riveted on him. Damian pursed his lips in contemplation, racking his brain on how to indulge his lethal instincts.

“Too much? A taser?” Rapid-fire suggestions left his mouth when he was met with reluctance. “Something small to electrocute my enemies with? Like, let’s say … how does 300,000 Volt sound?”

His father’s eye twitched at the blatant display of just pure violence. Dick gazed at Damian while hugging his body with a cocked hip. “How about overkill?”

“You could incapacitate someone with that.”

“Maybe that’s the point.”

“How much AMP?”

"3.6 milliamp."

Bruce paused in thought before consenting ultimately. “Alright. But the moment someone loses their memory, we’ll adjust.”

“Fine.” Damian’s lips thinning was the only facial gesture revealing his emotions to that compromise.

“Wonderful.” Ellie lightly clapped her hands together to move things along. Her sideways glance met Bruce when she inquired, “Back to the task?”

He nodded briefly before saying, “Yes.”

At first, the modern technology was something to get used to. But Ellie still adored the integrative innovation—it just needed a few minutes to connect to the Batcomputer. The files she was looking for slowly pulled up when she swiped the blueprint of Arkham Asylum to the main screen of the milk glass surface.

“This might seem familiar to you, guys,” Ellie surmised once everyone had a good view of the access points.

“As of now, we have been formally invited to Arkham Asylum,” Bruce’s declaration sounded ominous enough as it was.

Ellie’s head nodded in severity while Dick’s blue eyes settled on the visual illustration and his hands braced against his hips. “What’s the game plan?”

“Damian and I go ahead. Dick, you’re following behind on the bike. We go in through the back entrance. Go in separate directions and cover as much ground as possible.”

Damian furrowed his eyebrows in concentration. “Divide and conquer,” he hummed, nodding carefully.

Ellie sent him a crooked smirk as her brown eyes twinkled in delight. “Someone’s really digging that strategy.”

Shrugging his shoulders, Damian explained, “What can I say? I deeply admire Caesar’s techniques.”

Dick’s eye moved confusedly in his sockets. “Why doesn’t that surprise me?” he muttered under his breath.

Bruce cleared his throat to get them back on track. “As I was saying, we move quickly. And always notify our status over the comms. Quinn is kept in the East Wing, in one of the maximum containment cells.”

Ellie only had one thing to add. “Not to mention, deemed highly dangerous. Security thought she’d incentivize people into riots if they kept her just in the violent ward with the others.”

Damian merely nodded in consent while Dick remained mild-mannered, and replied, “Duly noted.”

“Suit up,” Bruce commanded with an authoritative voice, leaving no room for objections.

“Yes,” Bruce offered, not leaving room for any argument. “Status on Quinn?”

“I’m sorry, but if you request contact to the command center of this Bat-Lair, you’re gonna have to use the designated code name.”

Bruce’s loud sigh made her lips twitch and judging by the snickers emanating from Dick and Damian, they too agreed with teasing Bruce just for a little bit. Several seconds passed, prompting Ellie to patiently raise her eyebrows and wonder if he was going to cave.

Bruce coughed before he finally uttered through clenched teeth, “Aether, tell me the status on Harley Quinn.”

“What’s with that look?”

Bruce tilted his head in fascination. “I don’t know. Maybe I was really afraid you’d still choose Lady Pumpkin.”

Ellie shrugged her shoulders. “Hey, Lady Pumpkin Patch, if I may. Besides, didn’t want to use my former grey hat hacker name—I mean, not that I would ever dabble in something like that.”

“Sure.” He pursed his lips mockingly with a nod. “How long did it take you to find the right alias?”

Ellie licked her lips, remembering all the possibilities and how most of them were either outlandish or already taken. Mentally, she pumped her clenched fist in frustration.

Damn you, Spectre.

“There were definitely some lists.”

“Why Aether then?”

“It originated from Greek mythology.”

Bruce hummed in acknowledgment. “Primordial deity.”

Ellie’s eyes widened in amazement at his lightning-fast intellect but admonished herself just as fast. Why was she still surprised by this man’s deep knowledge? “Exactly. The Aether is the epitome of the upper sky and basically the pure upper air that the Gods breathe.” Ellie shrugged her shoulders, feeling self-conscious all of a sudden. “Maybe I just like the idea of being your eye in the sky.”

Ellie could feel Dick’s presence behind her, especially when he used the back of her revolving chair she was sitting on as a support for his arms. Dick was leaning against it and casually steered her movements out of sheer amusement.

“I think it’s great,” Dick threw in and instantly managed to soothe her worries of sounding cheesy when she threw her head back to send him a grateful smile.

A certain someone sounded close to growling.

Ellie shut off her comm line to giggle to herself before she got serious again when she answered, “In her cell. Doing the plank pose…” Her eyes lingered in enthrallment on the woman’s steady core training while she was holding herself up with the underside of her arm. “Quite expertly if I do say so myself,” Ellie muttered under her breath.

“I’ll report to you when there are new status updates.”

“Ditto.”

Ellie exhaled loudly, shutting off her audio. This night turned out to be even more stressful than she anticipated. Her arms stretched out in front of her when a hand brushed her shoulder.

“Oh, dear God!” Ellie shrieked and pressed a hand against her chest. The spot where she was touched shifted from ice-cold shock to a hot mark of mortification. Her eyes wandered to her right side before her breathing turned back to normal. “You’re such a Ninja-Alfred—don’t do that to me, okay?”

Alfred’s lips twitched at the coined name before his hands clasped together inches away from his stomach. “My deepest apologies for my stealthiness, Miss Ellie.”

“Accepted,” Ellie conceded with an exhaling breath.

Tim’s small figure stepped away from behind Alfred’s tall frame like he had been silently standing there all along—

someone had been learning from Damian after all—

and clasped his fingertips on the edge of the table while gazing at the computer display.

“Hey, Timmy,” came Ellie’s softly spoken words. It was hard to resist the urge to comb her hand through his hair—the intelligent boy always had this rumpled look to him. Who didn’t want to squeeze those pinchable cheeks?

“Hi, Ellie,” Tim replied with a barely audible voice. His moss-green eyes met hers for a fragment of a second before they were lingering on Harley’s hands talking to each other.

“I thought Master Tim here needed a breath of fresh air from one of his binge-reading sessions, as the young kids like to call it,” Alfred thankfully answered her unspoken question. “We’re not here to disrupt your progress. This young gentleman wants to observe my chore of upgrading equipment.”

Ellie’s head tilted to look at the side of Tim’s face. “Someone’s turning into a young Alfred, huh?” she praised the boy before she was forced to shift her focus back to the task she was initially assigned for. “Sorry, guys, gotta devote my time to some clowns for a bit, alright?”

“Proceed. We’ll be right around the corner at the workstation,” Alfred offered with the wave of his hand and stepped backwards, prompting Tim to move ahead. The small kid’s movements were awkward and slow-paced when his footsteps thudded lightly on the ground.

“Can I hold the screwdriver, Alfred?” he inquired curiously when he placed the wooden stool near his feet and elevated himself to a higher level.

“I need steady hands though. You think you can be my little assistant?”

Tim quietly nodded, with his eyes already focusing on the shock gloves needing another upgrade.

With a smile tugging on her lips, Ellie shifted her body back until she was facing the Batcomputer again.

“Robin, what’s your status?”

Silence followed Batman’s order. A predicament which made Ellie’s head do a double-take. Taking the second monitor to her advantage, the tips of her fingers pressed fluidly against the keypad to access the GPS tracker in the Robin suit.

Ellie frowned with an intense aura once Damian’s location became visible. “I can trace Robin’s position back to the hallway close to the containment cells.”

Before her alert status was even fully articulated, Batman’s figure rushed through the air on the security footage.

“I thought we were supposed to talk to each other,” Dick mused grumpily.

A statement which incited Bruce to retort with a growling voice, “Just focus on the task at hand.”

Deep suspicion throbbed at the back of her head when Harley looked straight ahead, with her blue eyes staring intensely at something behind the containment glass. The woman was standing so close to the barrier that it was hard to distinguish which kind of emotions boiled behind those ocean eyes. Menace was radiating in waves off of her.

As if that wasn’t bad enough, a masked Joker goon stepped into view, with his back turned towards her. Chills erupted on her forearms when the clown slowly turned his head until he was looking directly into the camera.

Disgust coiled her stomach into knots as she groaned, “Screw this Purge shit.”

Someone coughing barely reached her senses. “Everything alright there, Miss Rhodes?”

“Just splendid, Alfred,” Ellie replied instantaneously before she let her fingers do their hacker magic. Her brown eyes strained vehemently on the heat signature painting a vivid picture of the threat ahead.

“I detect about a dozen hostiles. Get ready, it’s starting.”

“Understood,” Bruce replied with an ominous voice after a moment of silence.

Tension wreaked through her body when she switched between the camera channels, but unfortunately the Joker was a no-show and only his crazy thugs roamed the halls without a care in the world. Not to mention, no sign of Damian either.

Ellie’s hand covered her clenched fist which shielded her mouth. “Please, be alright,” she whispered into her palms in a prayer. “I’ve sent you Robin’s location to the tracer device. You’re about 500 feet away from him.”

“We’ll find him,” the caped crusader assured her.

“Is that you, Batman?” The notoriously high voice resounded in her ears.

Ellie’s head whipped in the air once she connected the guffawing nature of the sound with the origin. She held her breath as the sensation of ants crawling underneath her skin made the extent of her worst fears for tonight’s mission come to fruition.

Son of a bitch.

With a gradual sweep, Ellie’s eyes shifted to the left side of the screen and identified the transforming waveform of the communication link next to the codename ‘Robin’. The muscles surrounding her mouth stiffened at the Joker’s violation.

“Why won’t you talk to me, Batsy?” Joker said after heavy silence hung in the air.

All-consuming tenacity infiltrated her veins like a parasite when her upper body shifted into a more agile stance. “I’ve opened a separate channel. Joker has access to our line with the help of Robin’s radio device. Keep him talking. I still have no visual on Joker or Robin yet.”

“Got it,” Dick stated hurriedly over the radio. “En route from the Southeast corridor.”

The clown’s voice was starting to grate on her ears. “I know you’re in here. If I didn’t know better, I’d say you’ve been desperate to get in touch with me. Is something the matter, Batsy?”

“Stop playing games, Joker,” Batman grunted lowly as his blinking dot got increasingly closer to the younger vigilante, and hopefully their target as well.

“And take all the fun away?” He giggled with a demented air that didn’t fail to leave shivers down her spine. “You’re just as humorless as this little bird here.” Joker’s pregnant pause gave way to something far more sinister lurking underneath.

“You have something to say to the good ol’ bat?” A humming noise reverberated from deep within his chest. “No, nothing to say? Looks like someone’s too stubborn for his own good. I got ways of making people talk,” Joker stressed every word of that last sentence with a ground whisper.

“Leave Robin out of this.”

“Why don’t you say that to my face? But first, you’ve got to find me,” he sing-songed devilishly.

Ellie’s eyes zeroed in on the scene she was witnessing when she leaned forward, pushing her glasses higher up the bridge of her nose. She whispered quietly into the microphone device, “I got visual on Robin and Joker. They’re on the platform leading to the containment cells.”

“All this attention just for little ol’ me? Tell me something, Batsy, when are you finally going to break your rules? You barely bent them for that little birdie. I wonder … how far are you willing to go for Commissioner Gordon’s niece?”

~ Bruce POV~

Bruce forced himself to remain calm in his composure as the halls surrounding him grew darker the closer he got to the blinking dot of his son. His jaw clenched at the reminder of Jason’s fate and the meaningless abuse on Barbara.

As much as Bruce wanted to release his inhibitions to hurt his nemesis in return, under no circumstances could he unveil his pressure point to him.

Bruce’s features twisted into a disgusted grimace. “You hurt Barbara … because you wanted to prove something? If you were half a man, you would stop being a coward and face me without hiding behind a child,” he enunciated the last word calmly despite the turmoil ravaging inside him. The dark cape swooshed near the ground behind him when he rounded the corner—

and faced the one thing he had been dreading for weeks on end.

Bruce sighed under his breath. Joker was standing on the opposite end of the bridge while his crazed thugs held Damian captive with the threat of using their firearms against him.

As usual, Damian was facing his opponents with a stubborn glare and a sharp jaw. Other than a red bruise forming on his cheek.

At last, Bruce’s eyes targeted the delighted expression in the Joker’s bright green-eyed gaze. His purple glove-covered hands stretched out in a flamboyant attitude on each side, a golf club clenched tightly in one glove. “Well, here I am,” the green-dyed man giggled from afar. “And it looks like I found another Robin.”

Bruce stopped in his tracks when the words he heard from a distance echoed like a haunting trigger in his ears as well. Stretching out his gloved fingers, he resisted the urge to create some friction at his fingertips and reveal another weakness. Not necessarily an outcome Bruce preferred in the grand scheme of things.

Disappointment was the predominant expression on his face when the Joker shook his head, dropping his hands at his waist. “Not the welcome I expected.”

“How did you expect me to react exactly?”

“Grateful,” he hissed with a menacing whisper, “I’m trying to open your eyes here, but you make it so much harder than it needs to be.”

“Keep him talking,” Ellie’s whispering voice said in his ear softly and calmed his thudding heart, “Nightwing is right underneath you and will act on your signal.”

Bruce’s gaze swerved to Damian’s right and subtly hummed in consent.

“I’m listening. What do you want to show me?”

“Your true self. Don’t you realize that all it takes is one bad day to reduce the sanest man alive to lunacy?” Like the thought itself was hilarious, his voice pitched even higher. “That’s how far the world is from where I am. Just one bad day. You had a bad day once. Surely, you must have. You had a bad day, and it drove you as crazy as everybody else… only you won’t admit it!”

This psychology lesson was starting to grate on his nerves the longer he had to listen to Joker’s delusions, especially since he couldn’t control his son getting even more hurt the further this was prolonged.

“Barbara was innocent in all of this.”

“She was necessary. A means to an end to the grand play.”

Every single word he uttered was pulled apart with a growling sensation. “Let. Robin. Go.”

Joker’s erratic scream echoed through the asylum, “As soon as you finally admit it!” before the sound transformed into maniacal laughter. “That we’re the same.” His hands hid behind his back as he casually walked around Damian’s body when he tried to prove his point. The threatening glint of the metal shone under the asylum’s lights. “Only I realized that nothing made sense—that code of yours, of value, of morality—it means nothing. You think those rules are protecting people?”

A twisted smirk drew on his curved lips as an icy expression took over his eyes. “When I saw what a dark, awful joke the world was, I went crazy as a nut! And I’m smart enough to admit it! So why can’t you!?” The green in his eyes only intensified with the crazed look. “You’re clinging to this reality, and you’re desperately denying the reality of the situation! Everything anybody’s ever valued or struggled for—it’s all just a bad joke.”

God, that guy needed psychological help.

The shoulders in his dark-purple suit shook with erupting chuckles that grew with intensity at the mere idea. “So why can’t you see the funny side!? WHY AREN’T YOU LAUGHING!!??”

“We are not the same,” Bruce replied calmly.

Joker exhaled loudly. “You disappoint me, Batman,” he muttered gravely. Before long, his face turned dark as he slowly lifted his head and sent him a diabolical glance from under his eyelashes.

“Don’t you see?” The gloves squeaked with its movement when his grip tightened on the metal equipment. “You’re just one bad day away from being me,” Joker breathed with exertion before whooping laughter wrenched free from his chest.

“Woohoohoo,” he exclaimed gleefully and swung his golf club, striking behind him.

“No!” Bruce’s voice scrambler contorted his outcry when his eyes widened.

~ Ellie POV ~

Tears gathered in the corner of Ellie’s eyes. Her palms covered her mouth in shock to ward off the scream in mid-cry. Soundless static rang in her ears at the horrifying video revealing the pained expression underneath Damian’s mask as he was brought to his knee, holding his arm to his chest.

Robin’s health stats were displayed above his audio waveform. His heartbeat intensified at the added injury, giving off bouts of anxiety.

“Damian,” Ellie heard behind her quietly. With a stricken face, the brunette stood up from her seat and detected Tim was standing behind her—and closer than she first realized.

Her back shielded most of the Batcomputer from any onlookers, but the boy still had seen enough. Her eyes wandered towards Alfred’s concerned gaze and hoped he understood what she was asking for here. “Alfred, could you—?” she begged with a thick voice.

“Certainly, Miss Ellie,” Alfred assured her and moved in the direction of Tim.

Ellie pleaded with him, “I’m sorry, I wouldn’t do that if—”

Alfred nodded once before soothing her worries. “Nothing to worry about. We’ll be on the floor below.”

Tim’s widened eyes looking back tore at her heartstrings. But unfortunately, Ellie needed to jump in the cold water again, she realized, when she sat in the chair. Her fingers were shaking nervously above the keyboard, feeling too stunned to react. The edges of her sight blurred with a throbbing pulse until she clenched her hands into fists. Trying to fend off the chill which had taken root in her body.

After a moment’s hesitation, Ellie worked on accessing the asylum’s power grid. Her heart only hammered more vigorously in her chest at witnessing Joker deliver a blow over the head when he was lying defenselessly on the platform.

Jesus. Ellie absolutely was starting to loathe this retro network.

“Wouldn’t it be a shame if this one endured the same fate as its predecessor? You love birds with broken wings, don’t you?”

She frowned deeply in perplexed stupor when Batman wasted no time in utilizing the grappling hook—generally intended for scaling walls—

and targeted the Joker’s throat. With the flick of his wrist the criminal was dragged like an accelerated magnet towards him. The tips of Joker’s feet crawled on the metal grid underneath before a hard punch so powerful sent him flying over the ledge. Without glancing back, Batman dropped the hook, letting the end of it anchor on the edge of the railing. A dangling Joker was gasping for breath and clawing for his throat.

Nightwing sprinted under the metal overpass and spoke incredulously on comms, “That was supposed to be the signal? Really?”

“We need to get the Joker. Just keep Robin safe,” Ellie reminded Dick with intense fervor.

His black-and-blue suit jumped from underneath and with a somersault kicked an assailant in the face before landing on his feet. “On it.”

Despite the grievous injuries, Damian tried his best to fend for himself when his stepbrother came to his defense, fighting together back-to-back.

The sound of quick keystrokes was a dull diversion thumping at the back of her head when her brain tried to comprehend her viewpoint. The mess of everything was truly starting to gnaw at Ellie once Bruce’s rigid stature stalked towards the ledge.

Ambiguity marred her features as soon as her eyes switched between Joker’s hollering face—notwithstanding the life-threatening situation he was in—and Bruce just silently staring at him with a blank face. The corners of her mouth twisted with torn emotion as Joker lifted his arm in surrender, pleading with Batman to be saved.

“Is this really how you want this to end, Batsy?” he taunted with a wheezing murmur.

This was seriously getting out of hand, Ellie perceived numbly.

The electric grid was laid in front of her eyes, including the code to initiate a lockdown. At the last second, Ellie opted for a lockout instead of merely a power grid outage to keep everyone contained. She felt close to tasting her success when the blueprint glared red before an error alert displayed ‘Electricity outage initiated’.

“What?” Ellie hissed, throwing her hands in the air in utter dismay. Her gaze twisted back to the live footage and found the asylum doused into darkness.

“What was that?” Batman’s voice inquired urgently.

“That wasn’t me,” she spoke into the microphone defensively. “You’ll get power back in a few seconds,” Ellie confided in them as her fingers entered its new command into the network. She closed her eyes in immense failure after studying the asylum halls and knowing the one thing for sure she had suspected.

The Joker had already disappeared.

Ellie’s breath released with a long exhale. Her hands were tightened into fists. Her jaw was clenched while she was trying with all her might to keep her cry of frustration in. With her wide eyes and mouth agape, she was facing the screen. Feeling so empty in a way she had never felt before.

“I didn’t do this,” she stated with a dazed sensation in her chest and pressed her lips together.

Her body was operating on auto-pilot when she called in everyone for a mission debrief. Everyone except Dick who stayed behind to placate the executives at Arkham Asylum.

Ellie’s jaw hardened once this unfamiliar code was branded into her eyeballs. She rubbed the heel of her hand against her closed eyelids. Ellie just felt so drained, like she had persisted through the end of a therapy session.

A heavy exhale pushed through her chest when she stood up, only for her breathing to pick up as well. Ellie’s eyes didn’t meet anything in particular with her head bowed down.

With great and surprising finesse, her voice sounded without emotion when she called out, “I need some fresh air, okay, Alfred? The others will arrive in 15 minutes.”

Her unfocused eyes stared right ahead while Alfred said in return, “Duly noted, Miss Ellie.”

Her gait was unhurried and Ellie stroked the tips of her fingers together when she was struggling to understand why her heart started thudding in her ears while quiet tears crept in the corner of her eyes.

Why was it so hard to keep everything together?

Furiously, Ellie shook her head as the familiar walls of the corridor met her eyes. The fingertips of her right hand brushed against the wall to hold onto something as long as she wanted to remain conscious. Inhaling deep breaths turned out to be a mistake when her breathing stuttered with nervous energy. With every inhale and exhale, Ellie got closer to the entrance door of the manor—she could almost taste that whiff of relief.

She breathed out as soon as the biting air occupied her lungs. Stepping out onto the front entryway, Ellie’s hands vigorously brushed her wool cardigan, feeling grateful for the autumn chill.

Trying to find something—just anything to hold onto—her head anxiously swerved around. Every breath was starting to hurt. Even breathing in was a struggle not to break down. Hot tears only intensified the bout of frustration swelling up, threatening to swallow her whole. Ellie’s chest rose irregularly with every breath as her hands settled on her hips. Burning teardrops streamed relentlessly down her cheeks and it felt just so useless.

Damian’s anguished eyes flashing through her mind was the last and only thought taking over before control was an inconceivable sentiment.

Ellie’s hands were clenched into fists while she crouched low to her knees. A long wailing cry of despair pierced through the night sky until there was no longer any air left in her lungs. Until her vocal cords felt sore. Ellie’s chilling and stuttering breath was visible in front of her very eyes. A savage emotion lit up in those orbs when her breathing returned back to normal.

However, her lungs were still scorching ceaselessly.

“What was that?” Bruce’s cowl was still covering his face when he energetically jumped out of the Batmobile. His hardened jaw was the only thing she saw underneath that mask. His partial expression stood in frightening contrast when he walked briskly into the lair.

Ellie was still sitting behind the Batcomputer while her absentminded eyes followed Alfred helping a bruised Damian step out of the vehicle. There was a twinge in her chest just looking at him.

“There was another hacker tonight,” Ellie revealed numbly, just recalling that unexpected invasion hurt her pride enough. Something in Bruce’s eyes stood out to her. Ellie’s expression turned shocked. “You don’t believe me? I intended to initiate a lockdown and not a power outage. I meant to keep everyone contained. Not only that, but I mean, we still got Harley Quinn.”

“That’s all we got.” Bruce’s chest rumbled with emotion as another failure hit him. “We’ve got no guarantee that Joker is going to come after her again just for the fun of it.”

Alfred and Tim flanked Damian’s side when the older brother sent a silent but concerned glance towards him.

“You good?” Tim asked him with a low whisper and tilted his head in doing so.

A question to which Damian merely nodded briskly, without uttering a single word to display what he was currently feeling. The bruises on his forehead and cheek were starting to darken. Ellie believed there was more to the mask Damian was shielding behind to cover up the vulnerability, he would under no circumstances put on display.

Damian spoke up for the first time, “What’s done is done. We need to think about another strategy and regroup.”

A feeling of gratefulness hit her instantly that this kid was trying to alleviate budding tension which soon shifted into regret once her inquiring gaze lingered on the consequences of tonight. The Joker got him good—Ellie was honestly surprised how Damian was still standing upright.

Her eyes wandered back to Bruce again, worried about the effects the Joker left behind on all of them. “Do you want to talk about what just happened?”

“You mean that Damian sustained grave trauma or that I hesitated when Joker hung over the ledge?”

Ellie’s body winced at Bruce’s frankness that bordered on scathing. “He was trying to push you over the edge and there was a part of you that at least considered it.”

His eyes narrowed as his arms crossed over his chest, getting ready to push back. “You want to talk about my misgivings, that’s fine, but don’t forget that you let someone else get the better of you.”

Ellie’s features turned to stone when Bruce managed to hit the one spot she was still sore about. She was the only one who could put herself down due to her struck pride. Mortification heated up in her belly as the fight for control was hard enough, but she barely reined it in.

Alfred chose this moment to tame any more tension-filled conversations. “If I may say, I believe we all need to take a breather and get a good night’s sleep.”

Ellie could feel Bruce’s heavy stare on her while he was mutely just looking at her without saying anything.

“You’re probably right,” Bruce replied, sending the older man a brief glance before he walked off without another word.

Exhaling heavily, Ellie stared after him with unsaid emotions as her back sagged in her seat. She let a strained smile draw on her lips when her eyes met Damian’s again. “Let’s get you patched up, huh?”

The youngest Wayne child was escorted a floor below to the med bay. For the first time, his features twisted into a pained grimace once he was lying down on the operating table.

Wordlessly, Ellie’s eyes studied his injuries, and the young woman could feel her heart tear into pieces.

This was just so unfair.

Her inner upheaval must’ve shown on her expression when Damian’s chocolate-brown eyes met hers. The first droplets of sweat gathered above his eyebrows.

“I’ll survive,” he whispered with a tense voice, already understanding the inner thoughts she was stuck with.

And the tears were back in her eyes.

She forced a comforting smile on her face as much as it pained her to muster it up and nodded. Iron resolve settled in her bones the longer Ellie gazed at him. Damian might see himself as utterly wicked, but to her the young one was an innocent child who didn’t deserve this kind of pain. Only because of a man who wanted to corrupt the people around him.

Ellie ground her teeth as her decision was made final.

No more.

A/N: The following code names were in the run: Overlord, Nemesis, Corvus, Zero-Day and Grey Hat. To be honest, I wanted the alias to sound dope and have a profound meaning at the same time. Overlord would've been only cool because of the Led Zeppelin reference, lol.

Small trivia about Aether: he embodies the pure upper air that the gods breathe, as opposed to the normal air breathed by mortals. I chose Aether because Ellie's literally the eye in the sky, and I didn't want to steal "Watchtower" from Smallville.

Tagging:@mellowstatesmanhandsempath​ @ravenmoore14​ @alwayshave-faith​ @ikranfuad​ @daydreaming-gemini​ @bluegalaxyprime​ @liadamerondjarin​ @steph21369 @andrewswifes-blog​  @yanna-banana  @blackmagicwoman ​

[gotatext]

𝐣𝐮𝐝𝐞 𝐝𝐞𝐦𝐩𝐬𝐞𝐲  ;    ʙᴇᴀᴄʜ ʜᴜᴛ ᴘʀᴏᴍᴘᴛ #6 !

how are you feeling about movie night ? did anything surprise you ? 

“ man, movie night was kinda fucked. obviously my clips weren’t great, but… they were all pretty old. like none of that shit i said stills stands. ”  apart from the comment about charlene being fit as fuck. obviously that still stands, but you can window shop without wanting to shoplift the store.  “ callie choosing frankie’s video was like a red rag to a bull for angel, i know that much. but he’ll forgive her, he’s just being petty about it. ”  part of jude feels like angel needed to argue with his girl for a bit, stop making the rest of them look bad. also, he doesn’t really trust couples who say they never fight. what the fuck do those conflict-less couples even do ? cherish each other and shit ?  “ for me it was more the shit that came after that surprised me. jenny asked me to be exclusive, which i wasn’t expecting, and while i want it, it just didn’t feel like the right time. we’ve had so much drama this week, i think maybe if that just calms down, then we’ll be golden. ”  and also, his fingers were literally inside her. not exactly a story they can tell the grandkids.

what are your thoughts on romi and marcus’s decision to leave ? 

“ romi is obviously someone i was very close to, and then suddenly not close to at all, and then after the double date… in some weird kinda in-between friendship thing with. ”  jude notes, struggling to outline the complexities of their warped relationship.  “ them leaving is sad, but it’s the right choice for her. marcus seemed like a solid dude. for sure i’d like to get to know him better on the outside. ”  he’s pretty sure there’ll be no shortage of club promos and big nights on the down in manny or the big smoke. maybe they’ll even make it over to dublin, air bnb it for the night, take a trip around miles’ gaff. feels weird that he’s got this whole new friendship group now spread out all over the place like the british empire in 1919 or some shit.  “ they’re definitely gonna be missed, nobody’s arguing with that. ”

are you happy in your couple or do you think your head could be turned ?

“ i’m basically fully focused on jen. i don’t really see that changing, if i’m honest. like yeah, obviously i have good chats with charlene, or adela feels like someone who i could fuck about with and have a really fun time, but since coupling up with jenny i kinda feel over all that. i do genuinely like the girl a lot. i’m not saying it’s gonna be easy, chick lives halfway across the planet but love who you love and figure the rest out. ”  shit. freudian slip.  “ i mean like who you like. whatever, it’s not…” flushed, jude buries his face in his hands.  “ fuck this shit. this is bullshit. i said like. ”

what are your thoughts on santiago and victoria ? are either of them your type ? do you think your partner would be interested in them ?

“ nah, bro. the two of them coming in now just spells drama. D-E-R-A-M-A, bruv. i’m not getting involved. ”  maybe he would have given victoria a look-in if she hadn’t snogged jenny right in front of him, but even then she feels like a poundland version of the bird he’s already got. “ santiago’s got some cheek coming in here all photography-guy and shit. that role’s already taken, man ! jog on back to cyprus ! ” or wherever he’s from. jude doesn’t even care. he’s totally not threatened by it at all.

are you grafting right now ? if so, who is at the top of your list ?

“ not really, no. ”  jude purses his lips for a second. “ i mean i guess it depends how this week goes. i kinda told jenny i want her to prove she can be loyal to me and shit before we try any of the locked-in bullshit that seems to be pumping it’s way around the villa like a virus, but i dunno. i’ll probably cave before a week’s up, if i’m honest. i don’t really want her having an excuse to cop off with the fit new seven-foot cypriot, you know ?  it’s just fun to keep her on her toes. ”

[kinocomix]

metal band story devlog 12: Making art in 2024, a survival guide but also DOGGO

first things first, as I oh so subtly implied in the title of this devlog, have a dog:

I’m sure someone is out there yelling at their screen with anatomy complaints, but I like it.

This is a braque d'auvergne dog and it kinda looks like, well, every spotted dog ever. 

image from 101dogbreeds https://www.101dogbreeds.com/coat/spotted-dogs

The drawing above is the initial draft of what I kind of want the dog to look like for the most part. I’m taking the liberty of changing some things here and there, since I want the dog to be a mutt.

Here you can see I changed the torso shape, and made it so that I can redraw the design faithfully using simple proportions. I also took extra care to decide what the eyes looked like, so I tried several things there:

I ended up settling for, once again, the initial once I came up with (I swear I don’t do this all the time). I felt like I wanted the dog to feel like it could talk, but subvert that by having it be just a normal dog. During my research I also came across something cool that I will not be including in the design. Which is the fact that if a dog sustains an intense scar, the hair grows back WHITE.

also, this could entirely be me and my bias but it’s… hard to find pictures of deformed dogs that are ugly? like dogs are always so excited to exist that even if their entire lower jaw is missing they’ll look like a vibe and be having a good time if you’re nice to them.

on a final note regarding dogs, have this. It’s out of context and I won’t explain it cause I’d like to have everyone try to figure it out.

With that being done, you might notice I don’t have a final design yet, because the four sketches I drew were the only things I was able to accomplish this week. This is realistic progress. So let's talk about art in the internet age. you thought this was going to be a straightforward devlog about a dog? well think again. 

This week I had a lot of thinking to do outside of the context of comics and art. I’m 27, and although the internet has led us to believe that it’s straightforward to be a microcelebrity for a living it’s actually very difficult, and the mental toll it can take on you is equally as worth noting. it’s weird and volatile and you’re fighting an ever changing landscape of other people trying to get heard. I currently work at a board game store, one of the nicest jobs I could have hoped for. My boss is a fun guy, my coworkers are awesome and the people who come to the store are nice and from all walks of life… but it’s not sustainable for me. It's the night shift which goes against my natural circadian rhythm and the pay is mostly being spent on transport at the moment. One time I offhandedly said “art is made by people with day jobs” and while I meant it at the time the true meaning and depth of that statement is still unfolding to me. While writing this devlog, I had a job interview to attend. If we’re being realistic, while it’s possible for me to make a living off of making my comics for a dedicated niche audience that supports me on patreon, the chances of that actually happening are quite low given the fact that the rate at which I output things doesn’t work with the modern internet’s unquenchable need for more stuff.

this isn’t a new thing or will it ever go away. Art is an extension of us as human beings, it’s our desire to project meaning onto an uncaring world that we are part of. it’s ironic if you think about it for a second, a more pretentious person would call it something like “the duality of man” or some shit but I wouldn’t like that to be me. god, it would be so hilarious to look back at this devlog years from now and realize I unironically said “the duality of man”. Anyways the value of art, as we know, is not dedicated by how much attention it gets otherwise hominids all those years ago wouldn’t have put color to stone

Cave drawing in the upper Paleolithic cave of Chauvet-Pont d'Arc, Ardeche, France

you see there’s no real way of saying “I want less digital things in my life” without the internet seeing you as a 4567 year old grandma yelling at a cloud but that’s it really. The way I see it, artists on the internet can end up somewhere on this graph:

I think I fall where the red dot does. On top is my friend fouad, working on his graphic novel having left the internet entirely. closer to the left are most youtubers, to the right are people like my dad’s uncle, who would paint for himself and family members exclusively. 

Today was the first day where I looked at someone whose art was exclusive to one very specific place and said “I get it”. beyond a certain point the feeling of making something cool can get overshadowed by all the people running towards it. Meaningful connection gets replaced by a wall of words from many people where your ability to engage with it gets harder and harder the bigger the wall gets. Which is why I think I’m going to put the comic here on tumblr and tapas, and not bother with other places really.

Eventually, I’d like to be an art teacher. Until then we’ll make it work with what we have, and even if I don’t get my dream job I think I’ll still be happy.

Devlog update on Tuesdays.

[parttimepuff]

Oh I’m sure nothing can go wrong once you meet Reverie, you certainly won’t be taken by his kids charm or anything. Nothing going wrong at all.

Stepping out into the living room again, Dedede raised an eyebrow. "Not sure why yer sayin' that like it's a bad thing." He commented, the others turning to look as he walked over. "Isn’t that a move Orbee knows?" Beep wondered aloud before realizing what she'd said, clamping her mouth shut. "A" Reverie squeaked, the king glancing between them. "Orbee..?" He prompted. The Dream Fae stayed silent. It wasn't easy to bring up that he had more children.

Staring at him for a moment, Dedede sighed. "…well, we're not done talkin' yet. We can touch on that, too." He relented. "R-right." Reverie mumbled, relieved that he had a little more time at the least. "You, still gotta talk, yeah." Beep agreed. "And learn how cool and good Rev is so he can stay." She added. "Aww, Beep…" Her father replied, touched. "Seconded." Gremlin spoke up. "Thirded!" Luna joined in. All the support was making him misty-eyed.

"Heh, guess so. You should tell me some more about ya." The penguin figured. "What haven't I said yet, though..." Reverie trailed off. "A heck of a lot, feathers." Dedede answered, a little annoyed with his continued dodging. Bristling, Beep cut in "He’s a good person, though. That’s important to remember." The king gave her a suspiscious look. "…yeah, ah will." He finally replied. "I, um, sorry, I guess I'm just, not sure what you want to know." The Dream Fae expressed, hoping to disract, even if it meant more questions.

"Well, fer starters, there's where ya've been hiding here in Dreamland for however long. Or how ya came across Beep. Or why the other me came after you, which you keep avoidin-" Dedede listed, being swiftly interupted before he could go on. "I-I've been hiding in the caves around Grape Gardens." Reverie explained. "We stayed away from people a lot, made sure no one found us." Beep elaborated. "Except the two a you, ah'm guessin'." The king pointed out, gesturing to Luna and Gremlin.

"Right… We can kinda sense each other, since we're made of each other's weakness. And I introduced him to Luna." Gremlin confirmed. "Mmhm. I doubt I would've met them otherwise." Luna thought. "We stayed away from people, Luna and Gremlin are friends." Beep huffed. "Didn't think the two were mutually exclusive, but fair 'nough." Dedede joked. As things were going well, Reverie pressed on to the second question. "And um. Me n' Beep met a few years back when I went to another planet. The uh… Tac planet."

"The nameless one?" Dedede guessed. "Yeah. She wanted to stay with me and I'm… just really glad that she did." Reverie told him. Beep looked at him, confused. There was more to that story than what he was sharing, much more. Which wasn't lost on the king. "Kinda expected a longer story for that one." "W-well, I…" The Dream Fae murmured, nerves getting to him again. "Hey, it's ok, Rev. You learned from it." Gremlin encouraged him. "nnn… I was… in a really bad place." His mirror managed.

It was starting to make sense why he was being cagey. "Ah. Not easy to look back on?" Dedede assumed. "For meeting Beep it is, not so much for the rest." Reverie explained. This was getting painful. Maybe that was what pushed Beep to get it over with. "He ran away from his family." She blurted out. A heavy silence fell over the house. "…y-yeah." Her father all but whispered. The king paused, approaching more carefully now. "From, Twister?" He questioned. "Yeah, but… not mainly." The Dream Fae admitted.

"He was, scared-" Beep tried, Dedede maintaining eye contact with her father. "Of..?" He prompted. "…there's, no easy way to, to say it." Reverie mumbled, guilt weighing down on him again. Luna silently placed a nub on his wing for support. "I… I have a history of… of giving too much to people and… ruining relationships. A-and I just, felt like it was go-onna happen again…" The Dream Fae continued, difficult as it was. "But to Orbee…" The Matter finished the sentiment. Though she'd been able to see the memory from his side of things, it somehow hit differently to hear it out loud.

"Orbee. That's..?" Dedede trailed off. Seemed he couldn't hold it off for long. "O-orbee's my first kid… Um, Beep's older, but I was with them first." Reverie explained. "Y-you have two of em-" The penguin started, growing nervous, before he was cut off. "They're not a Matter like Beep is." The Dream Fae answered his question before he could ask it. "O-oh. And yer sayin' you ran out on them?" The king summarized, no longer nervous, but stern. "…y-yeah, i did. I thought I'd make their life worse and I… it's not an excuse for it at all…"

Luna gave him a pat to reassure him. "B-but you went back!! You’re a good person-" Beep insisted, both for the king and her father to believe it. "nnn…" Reverie groaned, not convinced. "Ah'm hopin' ya learned something." Dedede stated, gaze still flat and serious. "He did. I made sure of it." Gremlin responded, matching his gaze. "Good man." The penguin nodded. "He's been a wonderful father ever since, to both of them." The puff added, hoping to improve the atmosphere.

"Oh yeah, Gremlin punched him in the face. Like really really hard." Beep piped up. "Damn, Twister!" Dedede exclaimed, now more impressed than anything. "I do not regret it." Gremlin said, his brother's feathers fluffing up. "I, yeah… neaither do I." Reverie agreed, knowing he needed the wake up call. "It was so fucking cool-" His daughter continued, frustrating him. "Ok, it wasn't that cool-" The Dream Fae started. "Thanks!" The Dream Demon interupted.

"Kinda wish ah'd seen it!" Dedede laughed. "uuugh." Reverie groaned, not entirely sure if this was a better outcome to this story. "Rev, you rolled like eight feet it was insane-" Beep reminded him. "He surprised me!!" Her father defended. "It got the point across." Gremlin shrugged. "Across his FACE-" The Matter continued. It certainly wasn't comfortable to be reminded, but teasing him over taking a punch was better than dwelling on his mistake.

[nanesuma]

Hello Journal

I’ve looked around and made a small map to stop me from getting lost, the empty patches dont seem to move but im still not stepping on them they’ll be decent landmarks I’ve also decided to make my own calendar, not entirely unique but im going to come up with a few names for months if there's magic here there might be gods but I dont know how I’d figure out their names im just going to use numbers for now. 13 months, 28 days each, I just hope the rotations match up with earth at least somewhat.

I have been experimenting with magic a lot more, it’s like it runs through veins surrounding me I’ve managed to fling myself up with wind, and do some basic fire manipulation I’ve been careful though since Im not sure how flammable these live plants are, water is still pretty hard for me but It tastes pretty much like tap water and I've been drinking this now, it feels amazing after 8 days of drinking tiny bits of rainwater I’ve also figure out some kind of earth magic, theres a small pond with some sort of clay I managed to pull out of it, I was able to make a primitive wall with a door hole against my cave its really helped keep the heat in and made it much comfier.

I’ve found some way to measure at least I think I have, If I demand 1 meter of fire out of my hand I get what seems like 1 meter I can't prove that it is but it's pretty consistent I could like my hand up with the ground and demand fire to cement that measurement, but I also dont want to start a forest fire.

I have tamed a third slime and named my first 2 since they seem like they’re sticking around Dorr and Chester, I need to think of a third name now though. Comparing the new slime with Dorr or Chester I've noticed they're much whiter I think it's from eating so many bones, maybe they need a more varied diet there are some berries around here I could probably pick.

I’ve found a cave with some exposed metal in the ground, I don’t think this is how metal clusters on Earth looked, it looks pretty shiny and Chester seems to like looking at it, I’m going to mark it on my map then try to figure out how to pull it out, I’ve been able to pull up dirt and clay using flames to set it solid as a wall for my cave so maybe I can pull the metal out.

I just heard something new it was some kinda of wail it didnt sound human but Im not sure what it was, I’ve been here nine days and while I can’t identify every sound I know what the birds and boar here sound like I’m worried about what it is maybe its something dangerous I dont think I've seen any predators bigger then a squirrel yet so maybe it's out for boar.

To whomever may find this                 - Nanesuma               10/1/1

[scoriol]

i was gonna write a long post about how you calling me was selfish, stupid, reckless — the usual. but come to think of it, as angry as that phone call made me, i’d be lying if i said a part of me wasn’t relieved. ever since i’ve moved here i’ve felt an overwhelming sense of loneliness. my friends kinda suck now and i both love and hate spending so much time with my boyfriend. i hate that we spend too much time together but i hate when we’re apart. i think that’s just an outcome of severe attachment and avoidant issues on my end—and the fact that i’m here on my own doesn’t help. i like the fact that i take risks and i like the fact that i make the most out of life despite how fucking erratic my decisions are. but i think this is the first time my blind faith backfired on me and honestly i’m not handling it well. i’m broke, i spend every day doing nothing in my tiny fucking room in my god awful house that i share with 3 other god awful people, and i honestly think i’m going crazy. i live with fucking idiots that don’t turn the heating on and i’m freezing the entire day i’m home, i’m uncomfortable in common spaces because i don’t like interacting with them and what’s supposed to feel like home essentially feels like a jail cell. i honestly don’t think i’m smart enough to chase after my dreams and i hate the fact that i’m settling for something i don’t want to do. i’ve lost the strength and the drive i had when i was 16; the one that motivated me to prove every single person that ever doubted me (there were many) wrong. i’ve now caved into other people’s shallow perceptions and expectations of me and i just feel low. i miss being at home and i miss being around my brother. i miss my safety net and i wish i didn’t feel this constant urge to run away because i’ve now learnt that running only breeds loneliness.

all my friends from when i was 16 have grown up and moved on, and i’ve done the same with them but after you hung up yesterday, i felt like i was right where you left me years ago. i’ve gone through life always feeling like no one understood me with the exception of you (unfortunately) and as peaceful as my life was in the 3 years of no contact, i’m really really glad you called. you remind me of the person i was and the person i wanted to be then. we were stupid and we talked about stupid hopes and stupid aspirations as though we had it all figured out. i had big dreams, you never shut them down and i never understood why you entertained my senseless ramblings or why you didn’t see me as lowly as everyone else. i guess despite the pointless conversation, hearing your voice just brought me back to a time where i wasn’t afraid to dream big and chase the things i’ve always wanted. we could blame your fickleness and cowardice but for the most part, timing’s never really been something that was on our side. for once though you were there when i needed you: when i needed hope and something to make me believe again. and as much as i hate you for calling because it obviously made me reminisce and maybe even miss, i can only thank you for reminding me of the person i wanted to be, the life i wanted to have and the dreams i’ve left my life behind for.

[panic-in-the-multiverse]

Being Marc Spector’s sibling

Pairings: Marc Spector x gn!teen!reader, (Steven Grant x gn!teen!reader, Moon Knight x gn!teen!reader, Konshu x gn!teen!reader, Jake Lockley x gn!teen!reader)

Imagine: what I think it would be like to be Marc Spector’s little sibling

Warnings: child abuse, abandonment, mention of death, angst, protective Marc and Steven, fluff (is fluff even a warning) mention of school and grades

A/N first of please ignore the fact that I accidentally spelled Konshus name wrong a few times in this, I don’t have the energy to fix it.

so I’m finally back at writing, it’s the first day of summer break and I’m continuing writing the request that I have, and sorry for the wait on those requests, but at least I hope you can enjoy this for the time being.

And I added the grade part because if you are anything like me you don’t have the best grades in school and are kinda tired of all the readers have like the highest grade or so

And lastly I did not exactly follow the mcu timeline with everything in this, just so you guys know

I’m thinking you were like very young when Marc and Randall went to the cave, like a baby or something like that

So growing up you wouldn’t of really known who Randall was

But guess what your mother still blamed you and Marc for what happened to Randall, even though you hadn’t done anything, it wasn’t like you could do anything, as you were a baby at the time

Your mother thought that if you hadn’t been born then she could of had more attention on Randall and Marc, to make sure that Marc didn’t do anything stupid

Because of that when you got older your so called mother started hitting you as he did with Marc

Though it rarely happened to you as Marc promised himself to always protect you, he couldn’t protect Randall so you got all his attention instead of both his younger siblings

Marc took most of the beatings, and when he left when he was older it all changed, after all now you were the only child that your mother could beat

Your father had tried to stop some of the beating but it was to no luck

Though luckily for you, you were able to walk away just like Marc had done

Once again your father knew he couldn’t stop his other child from walking away so instead he gave you a bit of money and went home, not without a goodbye of course

And with that you were finally out in the world away from that hell you had called home for so many years

You hadn’t heard of Marc in a very long time and you didn’t really know what to do

But unbeknown to you ever since Marc had become the avatar of Konchu he had always made sure to at least twice a week (often more) check that you were okay, especially when you still lived with your parents

Ultimately you ended up moving to London, studying at one of the best schools

You got a job at the library close by your apartment and actually got a pretty good amount of money from it, it was enough to get you by

So one day when Steven walked into the library to loan a book you didn’t know it was him

You hadn’t seen Marc or Steven in a very long time and had no idea how they looked now, as you never even went to your mothers funeral

Of course you knew Steven you had met him a few times as a kid when Marc still lived at home, he was the one who used to read to you every night if Marc had a really bad day that day, and you had seemed to love when Steven read to you as he read with such enthusiasm and excitement

Though eventually you figured out that it was them

And let just say you were angry

Marc had literally left with Steven without contacting you in any way possible

Turns out Steven had thought he talked to you every day but he wasn’t as well as he never talked to your mother either

So that left you angry at Marc, you thought he had died

But when Marc talked to you about it he also told you that if he wanted you to be safe Konchu had told him that you and Gina couldn’t be in contact

After that the two of you tried to slowly mend together your relationship

It had its ups and downs but eventually you all made it work

Even Konchu let the two of you be, for some reason he liked you and couldn’t bare to see you sad, and well for some reason you could see him (he thought it could be because you and Marc shared blood, but none of you ever truly figured it out)

One of the strongest memories of these times I think would be the first time you saw Marc fight with the Moon Knight suit

You had nearly been mugged by a few thieves while going to the store late at night bc you had to go buy something (idk what)

That was when Moon Knight showed up and beat the crap out of the guy until Steven were able to stop Marc, as he reminded Marc that you were in fact still there watching everything

So Marc stopped and went over to you instead and comforted you

Turns out a few days later those thieves ended up dead not because of Marc or Steven no because of Jake, who you had actually never met before

After that night you were a bit scared at first as it had reminded you of your mother but eventually after a lot of promises for Marc about not killing people while you were close by, and a lot of cuddles from Marc as well it all turned out okay

Eventually you guys moved into the same apartment as Marc was like your guardian at the moment

Turns out it was one of the best things you ever did

Marc usually bought you some kind of snack and often times he made Stevn come home with something from the museum as it turns out after seeing Konchu for the first time you got fascinated by Egyptian mythology

Turns out Marc is better at cooking food than you are

And now you had someone to help you with your homework, and this time around in school you didn’t need to bother about getting the highest grade, it didn’t matter if you were best in your class or not as you didn’t need to try and get your mothers attention, or to try and make her proud

And all of this was a very big relief

A lot of pranks were pulled on Konchu by you and Marc, or you and Konchu pulled pranks on Marc after all you never really got to do that as a child

And Marc had brought back some of your childhood for you that you had missed out on, all those thing that other kids used to do that you never could, well Marc made sure that you could have your freedom now

Overall you and Marc have the best sibling bond

And eventually Steven and Jake became your siblings as well

+ you met Layla sometime on the way and the two of you always go against Marc with each other

[thenovelartist]

And there was only One Bed - Tears of Themis Headcanons

Premise: There’s only one room left in the hotel, meaning the guys have to be roomies with MC for a night.

Luke

Err… his cheeks are red now.

He’s having to check with MC if she’s okay with it. Not that they had much of a choice.

They take the room, only to discover one bed.

And forget his crush on her; that’s the least of his problems.

He knows she shifts in her sleep.

“You take half and I take half?” MC offers. “Like when we were kids?”

He sighs, lamenting his fate. “I’m so gonna end up on the floor.”

“Sorry.”

When it comes to who showers first: rock, paper, scissors.

He’s the least phased of all the guys by the whole “share one bathroom” situation. They grew up together. They sometimes used to have quick conversations through the bathroom door, normally just a question or two about what they wanted for dinner or if their phone went off and it was their parents.

Which happened this time. “There was a vending machine down stairs. You want anything? And if you mention that diet, I’m getting you two of your favorite candy bars.”

“Just one and only one.”

“You got it.”

(@gavin-plz-call-me once called them the “King and Queen of No Boundaries” and I will never forget it.)

Eventually, Luke makes sure MC’s settled in for bed while he’s planning to stay up a little and figure out tomorrow’s game plan.

Until she literally drags him to bed.

He can’t protest against her.

Contrary to what he thought, he did not end up on the floor.

But it was kinda hard to sleep when the girl of his dreams decided his chest was her new snuggle pillow halfway through the night.

He’ll cave and roll with it. Be selfish just for tonight and hold her there.

Come morning, she apologizes for disrupting him, he dismisses it. And both their cheeks are red.

But it doesn’t phase them. Give it half an hour, they’re back to normal.

(Bonus: “So, kid. Let me get this straight,” Aaron Yishmir started. “You spent the night with her, and you’re still not gonna tell her anything?”

“It wasn’t like that!”

“You’re hopeless.)

Vyn

Well… this is a predicament.

However, they come to some awkward agreement that if it’s the only place to sleep for the night, they’ll take it and figure it out as they go.

However, things only go from bad to worse when they learn there’s only one bed.

There were very few times since becoming an adult that Vyn ever found himself at a loss. And this was one of those times.

“Um… are you comfortable splitting?”

His glasses almost fell off his face at MCs suggestion.

Before he can even think about suggesting to take the chair, MC is putting up a blanket wall. “Like this?”

Er… aha…

Oh geez, this woman…

He caves to that deep, ugly part of him that’s begging “yes” and agrees.

Then comes the new revelation there’s only one bathroom, which rose the question of who was going to shower when.

He just lets her take the first shower while his mind is still storming.

During that time, he realizes this may be the only time he has the privacy to actually record his voice diary.

It’s a total disaster. He’s in mental turmoil and can barely think straight.

But MC is acting normal, meaning he’s got to try to act normal.

Normally, he takes his showers in the morning, but he takes it at night this time just so he can have another moment of privacy to get his thoughts in order.

This is just a practical arrangement. This is just a practical arrangement. This is just a practical arrangement…

Bedtime rolls around, and poor, unsuspecting Vyn believes they are each going to stay on their respective sides of the bed.

However, Author has a headcanon these two both sleep like dead logs.

Morning rolls around, and they’re still both asleep, only they’re totally entangled.

MC wakes up first, laying on top of Vyn.

And when she freaks, flailing and falling off the bed in the process, that’s when Vyn wakes, too.

It was… an interesting morning to say the least.

They come to the agreement to never speak on it again.

(Until a few years down the line after they’re together and can look back on that day with amusement.)

Artem

When the person at the front desk said there was only one room left, Artem about had a heart attack.

He cannot possibly share a room with MC. That’s super improper.

Will call around to any other hotel in the area, but no avail.

MC will literally have to drag this poor man up to the room.

“It will be fine, Artem.”

Except, it wasn’t. There was one bed.

Cue almost heart attack number 2.

He almost left to go sleep in the car. MC had to restrain him.

“We can share right? Like, if we—”

“No. Absolutely not.”

“Not even if we put a blanket—”

“No. I’ll sleep in the chair.”

There was no convincing him to sleep anywhere else.

And MC tried.

Eventually, she had to surrender. “Fine. Then do you want the first shower?”

Oh… there was only one bathroom… that they’d be sharing…

Cue almost heart attack number 3.

Will legitimately leave the room while she’s showering. He just feels too awkward and like he’s invading her privacy.

Then bed time rolls around and he’s unable to sleep, so he works on his laptop for the time being.

Ends up pulling an all-nighter, which MC anticipated.

She set an alarm for early in the morning so she could then force him to bed for a few hours.

While he insisted he was fine, he was too tired to protest as she pushed him down into bed. “Sleep, will you. I know you didn’t sleep all night.”

Thought he’d have trouble, but he was so wound up all night over everything that had happened that he’s passed out in fifteen minutes.

And stayed out cold for a few hours.

When they left, MC made sure to thank him for being such a gentleman. She thought it was the least she could do for his troubles.

That, and she quite liked the way his ears and neck turned red.

(Bonus: He hopes Celestine never finds out what happened on that business trip.

But when she finds out curtesy of MC, she will never let him live it down.)

Marius

The moment he finds out there’s only one room, he actually gets super flustered.

And as he does, instantly goes in to deflective Playboy Flirt mode.

“Get your head out of the gutter, you little—”

MC shut that down, real quick.

Most he could do then is just say “It can’t be that bad, right? What’s the worst that could happen?”

Well, apparently only be one bed.

Flustered Marius = Playboy Persona

“That’s it,” MC says. “You take the bed.”

“What? Don’t you wanna share?”

“No.”

“Ouch!”

But really, he wants to find some way to get her to take the bed because he really will feel awful otherwise.

Then comes the single bathroom realization.

“You wanna shower together?”

“Marius, I swear I will kick you out of this room and take the keycard from you.”

“Oh, my feisty Miss Attorney.”

“Miss Attorney will sue you for sexual harassment.”

“Understood.”

He gets to shower first, and then ends up giving her some excuse for leaving the room entirely.

He loves teasing her, but this might be the most he’s ever pushed his luck. And he actually doesn’t want her to hate him, so he’ll give her this space at least.

As for the bed situation…

MC tries to sleep on the couch, but he can’t stand it, so he decides to push his luck and simply carry her to bed.

“I won’t pull anything, I swear.”

“The only reason I’m agreeing is because I know I’ll sleep better here than the couch.”

“See?”

“Marius.”

“I’ll shut up.”

Regrets his decision halfway through the night when Mr. Light Sleeper realizes Ms. Dead Log moves in her sleep.

She was snuggled up against his back, and his heart was going doki doki too hard to even think about going back to sleep.

Eventually, he rolls over and snuggles her, not just because he wants to, but he hopes it will keep her still through the night.

Unfortunately, she was not happy in the morning.

“Can’t we talk about this?”

She kept her face turned away from him the rest of the day, but he knew it was red with blush. “Shut up.”

[theaudacitytowrite]

Homesick

Loki x GN!Reader

A/N: Took me long enough to write again. I’ve been going through a rough patch these last couple of months and a lot from my past has bubbled up the last few weeks so this here is kinda my way to get all of it out of my system. I’m quite nervous to post this one but I hope you will still enjoy this one.

Warnings: Mentionings of child neglect, emotional abuse, bad parenting, mental health issues

Summary: You open up to your friend who listens attentivly.

word count: 4.066

As the first few stubborn sun rays squeezed through the blanket of clouds, determined to bless the earth with its glow again, all living creatures slowly but surely began to crawl out of their caves and huts they had found shelter in during the biting winter. Their movements once hesitant and frozen seemed to be thawed by the climbing temperatures.

Loki observed closely as the nature around him began to change. How the snow cover quickly melted from the rays of the sun, thereby enabling the fine flower buds to finally shoot and sprout out from the ground. Simultaneously the birds grew louder each morning, more and more of them returning from the south. The air smelled of spring, the scent of the dew on the young blades of grass and the enticing scent of the daffodils and tulips that trailed all over the compound mixing in it. The sun heated up the air and even Loki couldn’t deny the comfortable warmth that spread over his skin as the sun caressed it tenderly.

All humans as well as the avengers seemed to be affected by the changing seasons. The streets began to fill and the chattering of people started to become more vibrant just like the songs of the birds. 

 Training sessions were more and more rescheduled outside. During lunchtime the normally busy kitchen in the tower was empty. Most of the team decided to spend their time outside, eating as they took a stroll outside, enjoying the greenery of nature.

As everything around Loki seemed to flourish and have found a new surge of vital energy to survive another year, glowing every day a little bit more, one odd resident of the tower stood out to him. Still glum and grey, seemingly untouched by the newfound euphoria that surrounded them. 

He stood behind the glass front, observing the park-like green area of the compound when his eyes got caught on a figure. Under the old silver maple tree, sitting cross-legged as they read a book, he discovered the source of his concerned thoughts that occupied him for a while now.

Normally you would have surrounded yourself with the other avengers, laughing and joking gleefully. Spreading warmth and comfort just like the sun did these days. But your usual up-beat personality had vanished seemingly overnight. You still chuckled at jokes, still had comebacks when someone was teasing you but something felt off. Loki felt as if something was absorbing your energy, muffling you into someone almost not recognisable to him anymore. Your smiles were less vibrant, the stories you usually told got shorter and shorter until he couldn’t remember when the last time was when you had told him about anything new and exciting you had learned and had to tell him immediately.

He decided that he had pondered over it long enough now and today seemed to be a good chance to catch you alone, giving the two of you enough privacy to talk.

With wide strides he found himself walking over to you already. In his head ran thoughts in overdrive. He knew what he wanted to say, that he wanted to offer you a safe space and comfort. He didn’t want to make you uncomfortable or overstep a line. But at the same time, he just needed to do something. He couldn’t bear to see you another day being all sad and sombre. And especially since you had always gone out of your way to being there for him, he couldn’t just sit around and watch you suffer alone. This was the least he could do.

But as he was approaching you, he felt like he had forgotten how to form these thoughts, all of a sudden his head was empty. But his legs had already made up their mind and soon he was only a few steps away from you. 

“Are you ok?” the sudden presence of a person standing right next to you let you tense for a second before you realized it wasn't a fret.

“Mhh?” you hummed bewildered as you glanced up from your book, your eyes squinted and blinked repeatedly against the sun as they tried to adjust to the blinding ray of the sun in an effort to face Loki properly.

“Are you ok?” Loki asked again in the same rushed tone.

“I guess?” you asked still unsure of what Loki’s intention was, “Why?”

“Just trying to be polite.” he smiled sheepishly.

“Aha...” you watched him suspiciously, “So how are you then?”

“Good.” he nodded to emphasise his answer.

“...good.” you chuckled slightly. As he didn’t even make an attempt to move any time soon you began to become a bit uneasy.

“So are you just gonna stay there the rest of the time?” you inquired finally. Loki’s eyes caught yours and without another word, he simply plummeted onto the grass right next to you. When he didn’t say anything you slowly but hesitantly brought back your attention to your book. It wasn’t unusual for the two of you to hang out together while each person did their own thing. But today just felt odd for some reason. 

Out of the corner of your eyes, you noticed how Loki began to play with the blades of grass on the ground, running his palms over the soft surface and occasionally twirling the grass in between his fingertips. You smiled to yourself and decided to let yourself get engulfed in the story of your book again. But it didn’t last for too long as you could feel Loki’s gaze on you after a while. You tried to ignore it but caved in quickly, returning his gaze.

“Are you ok?” you asked amused by his weird antics today, to which he only nodded.

“Are you sure that you’re alright?” Loki stressed with genuine solicitude.

“What do you mean?” you grimaced at him amused.

“You’re just so awfully quiet these days.” he quietly explained, almost as if he was embarrassed that of all people he was the one to detect the change of your demeanour. 

“I am?” you knitted your eyebrows in thought and you had to agree, you had been zoned out the past couple of weeks, “Huh… I’m fine tho as you can see.”

“Well, I see that it is, in fact, not as fine as you claim.” he countered worried, “I don’t want to cross a line here, I just can tell that you’re struggling at the moment. And if you’re comfortable enough with me, I would be more than glad to be here for you and listen.”

You took a breath to answer but stopped yourself before anything left your lips. You let Loki’s words sink in for a second before you huffed and gently nodded your head. How did Loki know you weren’t feeling good inside before even you had figured it out?

“I guess I’m just feeling a bit blue lately because I miss my family. Nothing major.” you shrugged dismissively.

“Oh, homesick. I know this feeling all too well.” Loki nodded thoughtfully, giving you an empathetic smile.

“Something along those lines.” you raised your eyebrows as you averted his gaze.

“What do you mean?” he inquired, intrigued by your reaction.

“It’s just- since the weather is getting warmer and the others visit their families for the holidays, it’s getting lonely in the tower and I get reminded that I can’t visit mine and I guess that makes me kind of envious of the others as well.” you found yourself explain even more. It felt foreign to voice your struggles, yet it felt nice to have someone who was actually listening for once.

“Why don’t you call your parents on your handy little apparatus then?” Loki inclined his head.

“Well it’s not that easy,” you mumbled and your gaze fell to your lap as your fingers traced the pages of your book.

“Oh… oh.” Loki gasped, “I’m terribly sorry. I didn’t know that they’re… else I wouldn’t have brought it up.” 

“How were you supposed to know.” you consoled him and gave him a quick shrug.

“You have my condolences, little mortal.” he gave you the sincerest glance you had ever seen from him, his hand resting on your shoulder to spend you some comfort.

“Condolences? For what?” you asked confused.

“Well for your parents...” he explained just as confused as he slowly retracted his hand, “Isn’t it a custom on earth to give your condolences when one has died?”

“Dead?” you repeated, “No, Loki. They’re not dead. If at all it’s more like the other way around.”

“They think you are dead?” he asked shocked, “That does sound more like something I would do.”

“No, they are well aware that I am still alive,” you cleared up, “...just not to them.”

“Now I’m lost.” he looked at you dumbfounded.

“I don’t blame you. It’s a long, complicated and sappy story of my life.” you joked and waved him off.

“Do you want to explain?” he asked straightforward much to your surprise. Normally others didn’t want to hear about it, whether because they didn’t want you to live through it again or if it made them deeply uncomfortable.

“I really want to understand,” he explained with an honest smile when he took note of the growing pause. His warm gaze and genuine interest in you made you speechless yet warmed your heart. Since you hadn’t told many about your childhood struggles because of their mainly negative response to it, you hesitated for another moment. You didn’t want to drive away one of the few close friends you had but at the same time, Loki seemed to listen with sincere interest. You finally decided and gave him a short nod while you tried to gather your thoughts as you tried to figure out where to even begin.

“You see... growing up I always felt like I didn’t fit in?” you almost asked while you observed Loki’s expression closely as you expected him to react judgmental or bewildered by the way you felt. Instead, he seemed to know exactly what you were talking about as he nodded along. 

“It seemed like anything I touch would become worse and end in a mess. That I was doing it all wrong no matter how hard I tried.” you continued and gradually you felt the constraints, that held you back from sharing your story, loosen, “I had a difficult relationship with my family, especially with my mom. No matter how hard I tried in school, it didn’t matter. No matter how much I helped at home with chores, there was always something that I forgot or didn’t do as good as my mother expected me to do. For example when I didn’t know how to properly clean the bathroom when I was 11, because no one ever showed me, and I supposedly did it wrong. Yet I never got shown what I didn’t do right and what I was expected to do for it to be 100% done.”

“Then how should you know how to do it another way?” Loki chimed in.

“Exactly!” you gestured outraged, “And every single week, for at least 9 years I got lectured on how lazy I was for not cleaning the bathroom properly, no matter what. Sometimes I spend 4 hours in there. And still to this day I feel like I’m not cleaning my own bathroom properly because my mom would always find something that wasn’t right. So logically, I probably still miss spots now.”

“It’s hard to think differently when you get told the opposite for decades.” he nodded understandingly.

“And that affects so many aspects of my life! For example, I always got told to help in the household, to look for stuff I can do. No matter if I was studying or if I was tired after a long day. 

 After school I still had to cook, clean, and wash and I had to babysit my little siblings even though I was still a child myself. My mom always told me that I had to do all of that since we’re a family and family helps each other. If I explained that I couldn’t do something because I had other things to do for school or if I was cleaning my own room, I got told I was egotistical and self-centred. That I had to look more after other family members like my mom or my siblings cause they were struggling even more than me and I didn’t even know what real problems were.”

“So you naturally continued to help out. I mean I don’t blame you, who wants to be the cause of pain deliberately?” he concurred thoughtfully. 

“Oh yes... I tried so hard to be a good child. And I never questioned the fuss at home either since it was how families were supposed to be, right?” The more words spilt over your lips, the easier it got to open up to Loki.

“How should you know otherwise if you didn’t know it any other way, that it wasn’t in fact normal behaviour.” 

“It took me so long to realise that it wasn’t normal. The first time I started to even question our way of behaving as a family was when I saw other families interact when I was around 15 or 16. My friends didn’t have any regular chores, maybe cleaning their own room and putting their plates into the dishwasher after dinner. But that was it. No additional chores after doing homework. They were able to be free…. to be actual children and toll around, have a social life and be allowed to actually enjoy their free time.”

“And what did you do then?”

“I, my mother would say, ‘rebelled’ against my parents.” you chuckled.

“Ah, you started to stand up for yourself?” Loki smirked knowingly.

“In some way, yeah. And only because my mother started to restrict my contact with my friends. I can count on two hands how many times I was allowed to go out alone with my friends between the ages of 12 to 18! She was controlling, berating, overbearing and wouldn’t miss a chance to guilt trip me whenever she felt like I was getting a bit too far away from her control. I slowly started to get more annoyed by her constant nagging and the more lectures I got about how awful I was, the more I got fed up with it and tried to have a discussion about the way she treated me and my siblings and even my dad.”

“To no avail?”

“You bet. Of course, I was ’talking back’ and was ‘being disrespectful’ when I was in fact only voicing my opinion. I still remember the day I realised that I had to leave this place, or else it would’ve ruined me. And when I was 20 and had a job I got offered a place to stay by a relative of a co-worker and I packed my shit and ran!”

“And I suppose it didn’t go down easy?” 

“Not at all. When I told my parents I was moving out, all hell broke loose. First, she tried the guilt trip route. When that didn’t work, she straight-up tried to intimidate me with gruesome stories or threats. And when I still didn’t budge, she simply stopped talking to me.”

“Wow. That was really brave of you. It couldn’t have been easy, was it?” he leaned closer, his shoulder bumping on yours, so he wouldn’t be able to miss even a single word that would escape your mouth.

“It definitely was a huge change. It’s laughable but I didn’t even struggle with chores and getting groceries or paying the bills. The hardest part was all those feelings of guilt, that I had left my family behind and especially my siblings. And I at times I missed them so much and felt like I had done the wrong thing.”

“No wonder. If you’re used to the hustle at home and you’re suddenly all by yourself is a huge adjustment you have to get used to.” he observed, “But don’t you think you grew on that challenge?”

“Definitely. I realised a lot of the things I got taught were false. For the first time in my life, I had time for myself and was actually able to figure out who I am.” you recalled.

“And since then you hadn’t had any contact with them?” 

“Not exactly. I couldn’t just cut ties with my family. You know even though my mom was not the best mom and neglected a lot of her motherly duties, I still loved her. That’s why I still visited them on a regular basis in the beginning and even spend my vacation with them.

But those visits tended to always have the same outcome. I would drive there and would be ignored for the majority of the day. When I talked about my week I only got backlash about how I acted wrong or how I was spending my time not wisely. When I would drive back home in the evening I would feel shitty about myself and my decisions again. It felt like I was 12 again. The black sheep of the family who couldn’t do anything right.”

“And you cut off the contact then?” 

“I wish.” you sighed, “Luckily I did realise it at some point even if it was quite late. I was pretty much at rock bottom back then and I was even considering moving back home. But when I reached out to them and asked for help, they didn’t take me seriously at all. All I got as an answer was “then get help”. My world collapsed at that moment. All those years I had sacrificed for their sake, all the times I was there for them because ‘family is supposed to help each other. But I guess that only applied to them and not to me.

But the fault is really on me. I knew that it would play out like that and still I asked. I set myself up for failure.”

“Hey, that’s not true.” Loki interrupted for the first time, “It’s not your fault that you had the misfortune to be born into a family with emotionally immature parents. You can’t blame yourself for that.”

“I know. I’m trying not to… but it’s hard.”

 “I know.” he mumbled sorrowfully, carefully taking a hold of your hands and squeezing them softly, “I’m sorry, please continue.”

“Well, that day was the reason that I finally realised something. For almost 24 years I thought I was the problem. But then I understood for the first time that it wasn’t my fault that my parents didn’t meet my basic needs. It wasn’t my fault that they neglected me. And it wasn’t my fault that I never felt like I fit into my family. I wasn’t the wrong one, they were! I had never asked to be brought into this world, I didn’t owe them shit! They forced me onto this world. They owe their children everything!

That’s when I started with my villain era.”

“Villain era?” Loki asked to make sure he had understood you correctly.

“Yep, my villain era.” you nodded, “Because it felt like I was turning on my family. Not considering their thoughts and opinions anymore. The villain who was destroying my family with my narcissistic behaviour. Even though in reality I simply started to stand up for myself and demanded to be treated as a human being, which is not unreasonable to ask for.

So I restricted my visits and contact with them from that day on. At first, I didn’t see them for 2 weeks. Then 2 months. I was starting to feel better about myself with every passing week I didn’t see them. I actually excelled in my work field and was excited to work on myself. I still got a lot of berating texts and calls from my family when I saw them but I tried to ignore them and I would only ever see that at public outings. And at some point, they simply stopped reaching out.”

Silence fell over the two of you as a soft breeze rustled through the leaves above your heads. Loki noticed the shiver that ran over your skin and pulled you against his side with a side hug. He noticed your clenched jaw and tried to comfort you as he softly rubbed your arm up and down.

“When was that?” Loki asked timidly.

“...almost 5 years ago.” you choked out. The tears were brimming and burning in your eyes as you battled them to stay where they were.

“I’m sorry.” you simply shrugged, not able to say a word.

“You have nothing to be sorry about.” he hugged you even tighter, his head resting on top of yours, “You see, we can’t choose the family we were born into or even placed in. But you can choose your environment to a point. And you did that. And I know that sometimes it doesn’t feel like the right thing to do because of what has been planted into your brain since you were little."

“It’s just so silly. Like I know it was the right thing to do for me and my health's sake… but sometimes it still feels like I was in the wrong. Because I still love my family dearly but I couldn’t endure how they treated me any longer. And even though I’m still mad at them from time to time, I still miss them so so much. Like, I’m so sad but at the same time, I’m so angry as well! How could they cut me off, as if I was the one inflicting pain on everyone?” you sobbed. Loki turned to face you fully and nestled your cheeks between his palms.

“I can’t phantom the mental and physical strain this whole situation demanded from you, yet here you are. I’m so proud of you for everything you have achieved. And let me tell you, even if you already know it, you never were the problem and you did nothing wrong.

It’s just easier for your parent to believe that you’re the bad kid, that you’re the problem instead of taking responsibility for the harm they caused. It’s a devastating shame they feel so to avoid a feeling like that they create stories about how you let them down and caused them pain, so they become the victim. Because if they would take responsibility for abusing, hurting and neglecting you, they couldn’t see themselves as the good parent they tell themselves they are. That they failed the job they signed up for when they had you. They were supposed to protect you and keep you safe and they broke their promises. And if they admit that they are flawed, that they let you down, they wouldn’t be able to identify as good parents anymore. They would devastate their own self-image and they actually had to start to work on themselves.” he softly brushed away a strand of hair that had fallen into your face. 

“I know it’s hard to lose your family, to feel like you’re all alone in this big world, not being able to confide in anyone for your own health's sake. And it’s especially awful because the one safe haven you should have unconditionally, your family, to be the exact opposite, is crushing. But all the friends you made over the years, all the close friends that became your new family, you choose them carefully and wisely. And I can confirm you Y/N, we all love you dearly and wouldn’t want to miss you even a second of any day.”

Your tears were falling freely now but not out of anger anymore and you couldn’t help the grateful smile that appeared on your lips.

“Can I hug you?” you hiccuped between sobs.

“Of course my darling mortal.” the words had barely left his tongue when you fell around his neck.

“Thank you for listening.” you sniffled.

 “I’m always here if you need me.” Loki reciprocated the hug and held you tight against his chest.

“Could I request something from you?” you whispered sheepishly.

“Sure.” his answer was just as quick as you when you fell around his neck.

“Could you spend the holidays with me?”

“I’d love to.” he hummed joyfully.

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