#I’m kind of worried about this comic being seen as ‘edgy’ because it’s based on my real life.

[lficanthaveloveiwantpower]

Some Tom & Delphine doodles!

I should draw more of them… 8 year old Tom & 12 year old Delphine

Very messy comic under cut. It’s slightly disturbing tho just a heads up

(Tom doesn’t get scared by a lot of things but what really disturbed him about Delphine’s art was that the drawings were about her parents)

[thattimdrakeguy]

Toxicity, gaslighting, hypocrisy, an overall just bad fandom folks on twitter.

I’m glad I’m not involved with twitter comic fandom cuz the amount of people trying  to make Tim look bad like throwing a fit cuz he’s under too much pressure or like-- not being a saint. While calling characters that constantly murder people or violate human rights “baby” is way too high.

Even just the minor lies are nutty, acting like the 90s edgy art style at the time shows Tim is twisted cuz he looks scary in it-- when it’s just dated art

But then-- complain when people say things out of context for other characters-- when the context doesn't make it better. I really can’t process those people. they confuse me.

Also one of them apparently said Tim being a rich white kid makes him a power fantasy? Which is superficial at best  when applied to Tim given when you read 90s Robin-- (Which I assume they’re complaining about, cuz he still lives away from Bruce then-- cuz otherwise Jason would technically count as a rich kid) Tim is just this dorky kid, who’s scared on  the inside, putting on a brave face and fighting crime and his insecurity problem. He’s not some masculine power fantasy, he’s a relateable kid, his wealth besides being able to spend money in his first mini was even portrayed negatively if any thing sometimes with his dad as having been away for a lot of his childhood and leaving Tim without proper social development and being pretty socially clueless to the point it‘s a problem he has no street smarts.

So pretty much just gaslighting and strawman arguments.

You’re racist if you don’t like Damian.

You hate poor people if you don’t like Jason.

You’re sexist if you don’t like Stephanie.

But I’m someone who still likes Jason a lot even if I don’t like any thing in the Red Hood era not done by Winnick (and even then there’s a scene in Lost Days  that creeps me out), and used to like Damian and Steph, I just stopped liking them because I just found myself realizing I don’t particularly like a lot of their writing.

At the same time as well, isn’t it just more reasonable that people don’t like them cuz of simple taste or their character actions?

Damian does kidnap people and violates people’s human rights currently, and did chemically paralyze and trigger Jon in their first meeting, as well as smacks him for freaking out later on that miniseries.

If you made Steph a dude, more people would be very likely to call Steph a sexual harasser for flirting with Tim past  what he’s comfortable with, even with the knowledge he has a girlfriend. Plus she has shown dangerous cynicism in nearly letting criminals die, and even tendencies found in emotional abusers given her gaslighting, ill-trust, and attempts to go behind Tim's back, and even throwing crap at him while refusing to talk as he’s trying to apologize for some thing he didn’t actually do.

Not even to say Tim is a saint, he’s shown to be insensitive, and condescending, but if you start with his origin and not Red Robin, in my experience it ‘s more likely you’ll read him as a socially oblivious boy scout-esque kid rather than an angsty jerk. Doesn’t make what he did not bad, but just more interesting, because if a character is a saint it‘s boring, and Tim's actual original character makes what he does less offending to people. He has gotten incredibly pissed off at his friends, but ... he’s a literal kid that has to lead other kids with super powers. It‘s bad that he threw fits, but it ‘s never done in a way that makes it feel like “Oh i must hate this character”. Damian is also a kid, but what he does is way more notably offending to some people. He has a bad backstory but it is fiction, people have different standards with specific actions depending on how they feel about it. It‘s not illogical to be fine with a socially oblivious kid being insensitive but not be fine with a character  that consistently does bad things even after they’re aware it‘s bad. 

(Heck, Tim even cheated on his girlfriend, but given how that whole storyline chunk was written, it‘s more out of character and an example of bad writing than anything else, given how Tim feels on the topic of cheating before and after, as well as how much he cared about Ari. It was inconsistent and even the writing breezes past reality with how Ari suddenly agrees to mutually break up. I don’t  believe the story actually treats it fully as cheating either, making it feel like they knew. So it feels more like bad writing than a thing to judge Tim on, because that‘s just something people use to criticize bad writing, quite commonly even with many shows or movies. I can still get why people don’t care. It‘s more of a writing complaint. Like Jason being a serial killer is. It‘s inconsistent, doesn't add up, and isn’t a good reflection of the character.)

If you are fine with it is some thing else, cuz that‘s a matter of tastes.

I actually started calling Tim “baby” cuz Damian fans called Damian baby-- which I find a bit more odd (sometimes honestly just worried given the crap he does in the images they say that to some of the time), cuz while I’m aware Damian is younger obviously, he’s only cute in pandering moments that‘d I’d actually deem ooc, using basic standards that it isn’t consistent with anything before and after, as well as not fitting who the character is or even built up properly if they even try. (Also cuz Aunt May called Peter and friends babies and  thought it was charming). My blog as well is about 90s Tim Drake as well, where’d he’d be a year off of the same age as Damian mainly, I may call him baby past that age, but that‘s just cuz it‘s s tuck in my head now. I really can’t picture calling RR Tim baby in fandom usage of the word (which is  the only way I use it) if that was the only way he’s ever been.

Like with characters I start from the beginning (besides Dick and Bruce cuz gosh that’d take forever) and judge what ‘s in-character from there and read, while noticing development as well as things they’ve done. i didn’t read Red Robin first, I read Robin first. I didn’t read Batgirl first I read her Robin appearances first. When I studied Jason I wen t with his post-crisis Robin run (I deem pre-crisis Jason a different character given so much is different the same way i do with the New 52 teen titans core four generally speaking besides comparing to pre-New 52 versions). When I went to study Damian for stuff I read his first appearances forward much the same. And at one point in time I liked all these characters, I judged them based off of reading them.

So I’m not someone with just a bias-- I’m aware some of my friends do, but I’m not my friends if that wasn’t obvious. I’m friends with some people that like vastly different things than me even.

All I can say in the end is that it bugs me that toxic people have convinced themselves they are some victim while spreading harassment, lies, and gaslighting, because other people just enjoy different things or read things differently.

A lot of these people bother me especially because they frame themselves or the character  they like as some victim they have to defend, and even target specific people over, when they themselves are the ones showing basic toxic behavior. they are the toxic ones yet believe they’re the victim-- cuz someone read a comic differently or didn’t like the same character as them.

That is nuts to me

I’ve even had to deal with similar people since I gotten called a racist for not liking Damian-- when I’ve even mentioned that I’ve liked Damian previously, and explained I simply didn’t like his comic or his writing enough to reasonably like him. Meaning I guess the action of not liking Damian-- in of itself-- is racist, which is gaslighting at best. I’m sure someone out there even hates Damian because they’re racist, but why treat everyone (or at least some notable chunk to be worth talking about) that doesn't like him as if they’re that person?

They’d rather believe that people that don’t like what they do must be terrible people of some kind rather than treat them as normal people.

They’ve even showed hypocritical behavior, by complaining of others not  giving context-- while doing the same thing to other characters.

As I said, I’m not on comic book twitter, I have not even interacted with these people. I’ve just seen it, and it‘s just so toxic to me. It‘s a bad thing to see over fiction.

[tessatechaitea]

The Ray #1

In 1994, I had no idea who Christopher Priest and Howard Porter were so I have no idea why I purchased this comic book.

Although (continuing the thought from the caption which is just me saying, "Fuck the format! I can do what I want!") I was in my early 20s in 1994 so I was probably into that edgy fascination with freaks and body deformity. I hadn't seen Tod Browning's Freaks yet but I'm sure I would have jumped at the chance if I'd known about it. It's the only reason I can figure why I bought a comic book about a character I knew nothing about. Because it looks like he's a hero with a deformed baby leg. I probably picked it up off the shelf and yelled, "Fuckin' A, dude! Look at this ganky bastich!" It was 1994 so obviously I was emulating Lobo in my every day life. Some of you might be thinking, "Ugh! You're so gross and problematic!" But I'm just being honest! I was a young man, masking like crazy in order to hide my vulnerabilities so I wouldn't be crushed by social interactions and existential threats to my psyche. I had to act tough to survive the crazy streets of Santa Clara, California! Back then, Silicon Valley wasn't like it is now! In 1994, hulking techno-nerds were roaming the streets with razor sharp circuit boards looking to cut the genitals off of anybody who criticized the Neo-Geo CD home gaming console. If you looked at them funny, they'd challenge you to a game of Cyberball and you'd better hope you won because they were also obsessed with Mortal Combat and if you lost, the last thing you'd hear would be a bunch of techno-nerds screaming "Finish him!" before you found yourself upside down gagging on the filthy water of an unflushed public toilet. The early nineties were some rough years! Especially when you were into heavy metal! People think grunge and rap killed metal but think about what people thought was "rock and roll" during the early 90s: Warrant's "Cherry Pie" and Extreme's "More Than Words." I mean, Feetal's Gizz! Metal was dead long before grunge and rap came by to fill its grave. Anyway, you could totally be into freaks in the early 90s because the Internet didn't exist so your opinions weren't reaching anybody outside your small circle of friends. All the other people of the world who didn't know you at all didn't have a way to tell you you were a piece of shit because of one single thing that comprised the myriad facts of who you were. Fuck you, Internet! No, no! I'm sorry! Don't be mad at me, Internet! I can't live without you! Also, maybe I just bought this comic book because the cover was shiny and embossed and growing up in Santa Clara was so boring that it made this comic book looked exciting. The issue begins with The Ray battling Brimstone. Remember him from Legends?

Brimstone is as big as Godzilla and he's already killed hundreds of people, judging by the apartment buildings he's smashed.

I don't know who The Ray is or where he's from. What part of the United States of America uses slang like "gaffle," "put my serve on," "zoom this buster," "bone out," "feebs," and "rot." Is this just Christopher Priest trying to mimic youth speak? I would expect this kind of thing from an aging comic book writer like current Neal Adams but Priest was in his early thirties when he wrote this. Maybe The Ray is from another Earth and Priest's theory was that slang words would obviously differ between Earths. But not so much that you couldn't get the gist of what he's saying. Except for "gaffle." I don't know what the fuck he wants to do to Brimstone when he says he's going to gaffle him. I know what I would mean by it but that doesn't seem appropriate in this situation.

Oh wait. The Ray was just writing fan-fiction about himself.

So the Brimstone fight didn't really happen. Or it did happen but The Ray is using it as fodder to write comic books about himself. So he's like Clark Kent writing articles about Superman? At least writing comic book stories about your own adventures isn't unethical. Fucking Clark Kent. What kind of a journalist uses his soap box to simply promote himself? No wait. Journalists fucking suck. I despise journalists for the same reason I despise police officers. If you're just letting your profession go to shit because a bunch of people are abusing their positions of power and not actually doing the public service they're supposed to be doing, you're just as bad as the worst apple in the barrel. There's a reason that whole apple/barrel thing is still a saying even though nobody really associates apples with barrels anymore. Maybe The Ray isn't writing comic books although it seems like the super edgy postmodern take a writer in the 90s would think was fucking mind blowing. We got Kyle Rayner, comic book artist, as the new Green Lantern. Why shouldn't we also get a comic book writer in there as well? Or The Ray might just be writing stories for his college paper which would mean he's just as unethical and terrible as Clark Kent, I suppose. But in an amateurish way. The Ray (whose name is Ray Terrill so it was lucky he got light-based powers) stops trying to write and decides to tell the readers about the last few days. He's a young guy who works at a fast food chicken joint and has just leased his first apartment. It's a piece of shit with some garbage and/or artistic sculpture in the middle of the room but he doesn't have any credit or money so he's stuck with it. I bet there are corpses under the floor boards as well as other things too boring to mention (but which I'll mention anyway) like rats and cockroaches and dried semen stains.

This is Ray's narration of the place which I read after I wrote the previous paragraph. Was I writing comics and named Christopher Priest in 1994?

The Ray spends all day handing out flyers to Clucky Chicken while standing right outside Clucky Chicken. Is that what flyers are for? To remind people about the thing they can totally see right in front of them? I guess they could be coupons. While he's handing out flyers, his super cool cousin Hank stops by to gaffle some swang all up in through him.

This must be Earth-15 where they say things like "Yo trip dat frum, golderboots!" and "Swank on into my PQs, Flub Daddy!"

The Ray is disappointed that he's a man now because responsibility sucks. Kids can't stand curfews and rules but man is it sweet to be able to come and go as you please (within curfew, of course!) while doing whatever the fuck you want and not worrying about money for food or rent. The Ray can't even fuck his girlfriend because she saw him in the chicken suit and is all, "Oh, um, I just came by to say I can't come by! Bye!" The Ray can travel at the speed of light anywhere he wants while carrying other people. That makes sense because comic books. He takes his cousin Hank Fonzerelli to see a volcano shaped like a hand in Hawaii only to discover that it's another Brimstone. It's activated by a henchman of Darkseid while The Ray and Hank are checking out a surf competition or a luau. It's at this point when The Ray gets back to the beginning of the story where he was failing to stop Brimstone from destroying a city. As he picks the story back up, Superboy arrives to save the day. Not the boring Superboy who used to be Superman and learned a terrible secret about himself on his sixteenth birthday about an extra candle. The new Superboy who arrived on the scene after Superman died. He might also be boring but I wouldn't know having never read any comic books about him. The new Superboy is an arrogant dick and The Ray hates him. That's probably why The Ray winds up killing him. Or he thinks he killed him. Everybody reading the comic book probably thought The Ray killed him too (because we were all dumb-dumbs who actually believed DC Comics had killed Superman off for good. Why wouldn't they?! He was a big boring boy scout whose powers kept fluctuating because editors and writers thought the problem with writing Superman stories was that he was too powerful. But the real problem with writing Superman stories was that those same writers and editors were unimaginative assholes who didn't actually understand Superman. Why else would Superman have died from a fist fight?! Seriously, Dan Jurgens. What were you thinking?! Superman should never have been killed because he encountered something more powerful that could just beat the shit out of him. Superman should have been killed because of a philosophical or ethical dilemma where he realized the only way to save the world was to allow himself to die. He should have been Jesus but instead he was just Apollo Creed. Who I think was a metaphor for John the Baptist? The issue ends with the narrator letting the readers know that Superboy isn't actually dead and why would the idiots think he'd be killed in The Ray when he was currently starring in his own popular monthly comic book? Stupid dumb comic book readers! But the narrator also mentions that The Ray is out of power (I didn't know he had to recharge) and Brimstone is kind of mad. Then he's all, "If we were you," (I don't think a proper editor in 1994 would have allowed a writer to use the plural pronoun "we" as a non-specific gender singular pronoun so now I'm picturing the narrator as a small group of old people), "We'd be back here in 30 days!" And I guess 22 year old me agreed with them because I purchased Issue #2. The Ray #1 Rating: C. C is average, right? I didn't find anything I particularly loved about this issue but I also didn't find anything I absolutely hated. Except for Superboy but I think I was supposed to hate him so that's a positive critique. I probably purchased the next issue because I wanted to find out what happens to Hank Fonzerelli. What a cool dude! The letters pages don't have any letters but it does have a story by Brian Augustyn about how Christopher Priest changed his name from Jim Owsley. It also explains that Priest's idea for The Ray was to have a teenager suddenly have to deal with god-like powers while still being a teenager. I think before this that was called "Spider-man". Except for the god-like powers! Those were more spider-like powers.

[yourkeeperoftherunners]

Novice [Epilogue]

Plot: AU Your neighbor summoned a demon for a good time, except he somehow overshot things and landed in your apartment. (Despite the lack of a pentagram.) He keeps showing up and oddly, he makes it a point to stop by after he’s done with her.

Rating: R (Language, sex, incubus mythology, oral, body worship)

Characters: Incubus!Jungkook x Older Female Reader, Riley OC, plus mention of other members.

Notes: I am not an expert on demonology. This was based off a comical dream I had about someone accidentally ending up in my apartment when in reality they were looking for someone else. (The figure in the dream wasn’t a demon per se but a rookie individual that wasn’t human who appeared in places without using the front door.) This is set several months after the series. If you are under 18+ or the legal age in your country, please skip this chapter!

Please no reposting anywhere!

[6]

“It’s not a good thing,” you huffed as you climbed the stairs, tugging at your shirt collar.

“But you got to leave work early!” Jin whined. “Well, hopefully you can enjoy some time to yourself this evening before the weekend. I wish I could get out early too – still wanna try that place with all those eating stalls in it.”

“Yeah we can try doing that sometime this weekend,” you mumbled as you unlocked the door. “Get back to work Seokjin.”

He sighed before hanging up and you wiped some sweat off your forehead. You dropped your briefcase by the door and toed your shoes off.

The A/C in your office gave out before lunch and the building became too hot to work in safely. A secretary had fainted and the management ordered everyone to go home and enjoy the rest of the day while they worked with maintenance on a fix. Jin complained that you were lucky, while you were done sitting and roasting in a hot building trying to finish a project for your boss.

You peeled off your clothes and turned on the shower, sighing as the lukewarm water hit your skin. Your eyes closed as you stepped under the stream of water to wash your hair quickly.

You picked up your soap bar and lathered up, washing your entire body before removing the showerhead to rinse off the suds. The stream of water hit your outer lips and you jolted slightly.

It had been a while since you had felt any aches or seen anyone to help you get off. Actually, you couldn’t recall the last time you got any action, but you had been pretty busy with life and work lately. You replaced the showerhead and quickly stepped under the stream to rinse off any remaining soap and shampoo.

A quiet pop made you pry your eyes open and your eyes widened when they met the familiar amber hues for a second.

“JUNGKOOK!” you yelled as you turned your back to him.

He covered his eyes with his hands and rambled a string of apologies, all while his cheeks flushed pink.

“What are you even doing here?” you demanded as you shut off the shower, keeping your back to him.

“Jimin-hyung was visiting your friend Jin’s office for business – he overheard you talking to him during a break,” Jungkook admitted. “Something about the A/C in your building going out?”

“Yeah the A/C failed at work so everyone had to go home,” you sighed. “I decided to shower once I got home because we all got really sweaty – someone actually fainted from the heat.”

“I got a little worried so I wanted to make sure noona was okay,” he explained. “I didn’t mean to bother you or see anything I shouldn’t. I’m so sorry.” He turned away and looked at the door, allowing his hands to fall to his sides. “When hyung said your building, I misunderstood and thought he meant your apartment building. I guess that’s why I rushed over. I wanted to see if there was a way I could help, like maybe take you for ice cream or something?”

You sighed as you studied his body language and reactions, realizing that he was unfortunate in his timing and his intentions were pure. As for Jimin, you had to wonder if that guy was up to something or was also making an incorrect assumption based on what he heard bits and pieces of. You opened the door to the shower and reached for your towel, using it to dry yourself off, then wrapping it securely around your body.

You closed the shower door and retrieved your comb, carefully combing out all the tangles. Jungkook kept his eyes averted and you watched as he shifted uncomfortably in his spot.

“Noona...you said you were just showering, right? You weren’t doing anything naughty?” he asked.

You put the comb down and threw him a look. His face went from pink to slightly red and he mumbled that it was probably too personal to ask.

“I guess I’m a little curious about how noona takes care of herself,” he confessed. “I know you haven’t seen anyone new so...?”

“Are you making an offer Kook?” you asked as you turned to face him.

Jungkook tried to form a coherent sentence at your inquiry and you chuckled as you studied the young incubus.

When you first met him, his hair was a raspberry color; currently it was black, parted in the middle with bangs sweeping out in either direction. Today’s outfit was casual: white short-sleeved tee that barely seemed to fit his impressive torso, fitted black jeans with rips in them, and sneakers. There had been a period where he tried to change everything to give off a more stereotypical seductive look attributed to his kind, but it looked like he found a balance between his personal style and being a bit edgy, but sexy.

You walked over to the young incubus, reaching a hand up to stroke a rogue piece of hair out of his eyes. He looked up from the floor, eyes watching as your fingers grazed his hair.

“Black looks good,” you remarked. “This new?”

“Today actually,” he replied. “This is my normal color – felt it was nice to go back to it for a change.”

You nodded as you dropped your hand – or tried to. Jungkook gently caught it and pressed the knuckles to his lips, amber hues locked on yours.

“Are you trying to seduce me?” you teased.

“Trying, but I know noona usually says ‘You’re not getting laid’ or something like that,” Jungkook replied as he smoothed his thumbs over your hand.

You pretended to think it over, noticing that young man’s shoulders sagged. With your free hand, you guided his other hand to the area where you tucked the top of the towel in to hold it in place. You bit back a laugh as the amber eyes went as wide as saucers and he blinked before looking at where his free hand was, then at you.

“Wait, really? Noona’s sure?” he asked.

“C’mon kiddo, I’ll admit that you’ve piqued my interest after all those visits to Miss Personality earlier this year,” you said. “By the way, she’s no longer living here – someone finally filed enough complaints to get her evicted.”

Jungkook’s eyes narrowed slightly at the nickname and he scrunched his nose. “Noona, you promised not to call me that!”

“You keep forgetting it’s a habit,” you reminded him. “So are we doing this or not?”

“Yes! Actually, as cliche as this sounds, I was hoping to have noona from the first time I saw her,” he confessed as his hand lifted the towel edge from the section it was tucked into.

“Cheesy, but I know you’re being honest,” you replied as you helped him remove the towel from your body.

The incubus blinked, lips parting in shock when the towel dropped. A few seconds ticked by and he shyly hovered his hands near your waist, checking for permission.

“It’s okay,” you reassured him.

His hands gently rested around your waist and his eyes quietly roamed across your body, taking in every detail. You traced a hand along his jawbone, resting it on his cheek before standing up on tiptoe to plant a kiss on his lips.

The incubus was stunned but he quickly tugged your body closer to his, one arm leaving your waist to wrap around your shoulders. You grunted when your body pressed against hard muscles and a growing boner. Guess the nickname ‘kiddo’ was no longer fitting for him if he was this ripped.

“The doctor must love you since it’s clear you work out,” you joked as you pulled away.

“Noona likes muscles?” he teased as he yanked his shirt off.

“I’m not picky,” you replied. “Fit or not, I like you Kook. You sort of grew on me with that puffed cheek thing you do when you eat.”

“Ah noona!”

“What? You look so happy when you’re eating!” you protested. “It’s endearing okay? I’m happy when you’re eating well.”

Jungkook allowed a smile to cross his lips and you stepped back, preparing to help him remove his belt and pants as you started to kneel. He froze and quickly grabbed your hand.

“Noona, wait.”

“Sorry, am I going too fast?” you asked.

He carefully knelt down and scooped you up in his arms. You squeaked in surprise and he laughed lightly at your reaction. He began heading toward your room and you stared at him in confusion.

“Noona, we’re not doing that today,” he explained. “You’ve listened to me, given me advice, and you’ve kept me fed. I’ve taken a lot so it’s time I paid you back.”

“I didn’t do that much!”

Jungkook shushed you before placing you gently on your bed. He removed his shoes at the foot of your bed, placing them outside the door to your room. The gesture made you laugh and shake your head as he returned, mumbling that he wanted to be courteous.

“I should have left them at your front door,” he apologized.

“Ah it’s fine,” you dismissed it.

He slowly lowered his knees to your mattress, crawling toward you with a soft smile. Arms caged you in as he hovered above you, amber eyes studying your features thoughtfully.

“Are you sure you’re all human noona?” he asked as he leaned closer for a quick peck.

“As far as I know, yes.”

“Hmm...” he hummed as his lips trailed down your jaw, then neck. His eyes drifted to yours as he hovered over your cleavage, looking for permission.

“You said you’re taking care of me – I’m in your hands tonight,” you reminded him. “So, you’ve thought about this a lot, huh?”

“A few times,” he insisted before gentle kisses grazed both breasts. “Um, okay maybe more than a few.” He continued to kiss his way down your body, pausing as he reached below your navel. “Are you...okay with me tasting you?”

“Yes,” you said. You ran your fingers through his hair and he closed his eyes.

“I know I’m taking forever, but I don’t want to assume,” he murmured as he nudged your thighs apart.

“I’m not complaining,” you told him. “Consent is important – your mom taught you well.”

He beamed at the compliment as his hands rested on your thighs, thumbs gently stroking the skin on the inner areas. He lowered his head to your core, flicking his tongue out before pressing it tentatively against your clit.

You let out a soft groan, hips jolting forward slightly at the motion. His eyes watched you as his tongue traced the outer lips, then dragged downward against your entrance. He flattened his palms on your thighs, then flicked his tongue back and forth against your entrance, watching as your body reacted.

“Kook –”

“Too much?” he asked.

“Don’t stop,” you managed to get out.

A small smirk crossed his lips before he returned his tongue to your entrance, slowly easing it inside. Your eyes widened as you felt something warm, slightly rough, and wet inside of you. Wait, was that all his –

Before you could question it, your eyes squeezed shut as the long muscle curled against a sensitive area inside you. Your lips parted for air and you let out a shaky moan as his tongue curled inside of you.

He grunted as your fingers tugged at his strands, taking that as his cue to keep going, curling against your spot. With each flick, he felt your juices trickle onto his tongue and he groaned, savoring the taste. He couldn’t put it into words, but there was something about how you tasted that was perfection.

“Oh, oh, oh,” you moaned. “Oh Kook – ahhh that feels so...mmph!”

His eyes flickered up as he watched you grind against his mouth, getting closer to your release. He narrowed his eyes as he picked up the pace gradually, feeling your spot start to swell, which told him you were close.

His hands rested on your hips and he gently massaged his thumbs against the skin in circular motions as you rode out your high. Your hands loosened in his hair and you struggled to catch your breath. For a few seconds, you pried your eyes open and they fluttered when you felt Jungkook’s tongue teasing at the entrance to your folds with light kitten licks.

“Kook easy,” you managed to get out. “Hey, I’m sensitive...please.”

Jungkook pouted as he withdrew his tongue and licked off a small drip from the corner of his mouth. He pushed himself up and hovered over you, studying your face for your reaction.

“Noona? Are you okay? Was that too much?” he asked. His fingers brushed your hair out of your eyes and you shook your head.

A weak chuckle escaped from your lips and you teased, “You’ve got quite a tongue there Mr. You sure you’re a rookie?”

Jungkook reddened and stammered, a hand going to the back of his neck. You took this moment to sit up and you gently cupped his face in your hands. His eyes met yours and you smiled softly.

“I didn’t know I needed that, but thank you Kookie,” you murmured. “I’m going to need to clean up again, but did you want to cuddle?”

Jungkook rose from the bed and he insisted he would grab a towel for you. You started to protest, but he was already making a beeline for the bathroom, returning seconds later. He prompted you to lie back as he cleaned you off with a washcloth, then using a towel to dry you off.

“Noona, did you want my shirt?” he asked once he came back from putting the towel and washcloth in the bathroom. He had it in one hand and he offered it to you, which you accepted and slid over your head.

“Be honest Noona, was that really okay?” he asked as he settled under the covers with you.

You hummed as you rolled on your side to face him, snuggling against his chest. “You are very talented with your mouth Kook,” you replied. “I haven’t had anyone go down on me that well in all the years I’ve dated.”

“Guess that practice at school came in handy,” he confessed, a blush coloring his face. “Ah – with toys Noona! I, I mean, we, we didn’t practice on humans or other species!”

“Wow, they teach you how to give head in school?” you teased. “I probably shouldn’t ask how they teach the real act, right?”

Jungkook leaned forward and pressed a kiss to your forehead.

“Shh Noona, please rest. If you want, we can do that another time.”

[thatshinobilife]

i know ive seen you sy in the past you like Avatar, I was wondering what you thought about the live action series netflix just announced ?

Hmmm……how to put this. This is how all avatar related content has gone since the original series concluded in 2008: 

Legend of Korra: badAvatar Comics: REALLY bad2010 film: SOUL shatteringly terribleLike don’t get me wrong - I WANT this to be good. I WANT this to be worth watching, to be worth making, to be worthy of the original series. But literally nothing that has happened in the franchise since 2008 has given me any hope that it will be. While I respect the work Bryan and Mike did on the original series, they are FAR from the only reason it succeeded and a mass amount of credit is owed to the rest of the writing department who as I understand it will have nothing to do with this live action reimagining. Bryan and Mike are very much an example of writers who believed too much in their own hype and no longer have a firm grasp on what actually made the original show good in the first place. They freely admit half of the things that were great about ATLA were not their ideas and they had to be talked into including. They also committed what I feel is the cardinal sin of writing…….the magnum opus of creator fuck ups…….they retroactively ruined good things about their original show when they attempted to make a sequel. The second you start doing that, I lose all faith in you as a writer. I talk about this with Naruto all the time - if it’s between getting new content at the cost of having the original dragged through the mud or getting no new content at all, then I would rather have no new content. And that’s kind of how I feel with this. 

I’m also…..extremely attached to the entire atla cast and don’t want to see them flanderized or written out of character. Azula specifically is my favorite fictional character of all time (even more than the sand sibs!) which is very worrisome as she’s also a hard character to get right. Aaron Ehasz - head writer on ATLA - made a comment that even the internal production team during the run of the show commonly misunderstood her. Bryke clearly don’t understand her given the way they greenlit the comics god awful interpretation of her as ~psychopathic-straightjacket-crazy~ which like…..ok…..actually I can’t even talk about this because it makes me so irrationally angry. I want to be in a good mood so I have to drop this subject right now immediately. I think there’s also some valid concerns about it being done in live action. Avatar is a show that worked VERY well as an animated story. The visual tone and style would require high budget to adequately pull off and even then I’m not sure it would work. While the thought of seeing some of the more epic moments in live action is admittedly exciting to me, I also worry the aesthetic charm of the original will be lost in that format. While bending is based heavily on martial arts, there’s still a fluidity in motion showcased in the original that’s simply not possible to achieve in live action. There’s also just the question of “why” we need a live action version in the first place as there’s not a ton of ways to improve on the original. It makes me think they’re just using this as an excuse to produce a ~darker~ more “mature” version of the original which…..lmfao. Part of the reason ATLA was so good is because it DIDN’T rely on cheap shock factor or graphic content to communicate its themes. There was a quiet yet deeply honest simplicity in the way they addressed the darker aspects of the show that made it so emotionally compelling. I know ya’ll think Game of Thrones is cool but not everything benefits by being made more ~edgy~. ATLA is already a mature show and the fact that its a cartoon doesn’t change that. 

My greatest fear though is that they will change the original story to try and forcibly integrate the lore-breaking nonsense that plagued the legend of korra in a completely transparent attempt to validate their own poor writing decisions on the sequel. One mention of raava and I’m cancelling my netflix subscription. 

So to summarize: while I’m involuntarily excited on principle, I can’t help but feel this entire project is going to end up just as rage inducing and shoddily written as every other spin off that’s come before it. I genuinely hope I eat my words though! ATLA is an absolutely beautiful show rich with content and I would be over the moon if this new series manages to improve on it or at least lives up somewhat to the quality of the original. I’m just very cautious about it as of right now. I’m not trying to be overly negative but I’m just……I’m so tired. The only sequel/spin off/remake in the entire universal literary canon that hasn’t let me down is Bambi II. 

[greetingsfromeboncreek]

BEHOLD the rest of the commentaries. They’re pretty short in comparison to the others, and I wrote them pretty stream of consciousness, so I can’t guarantee how much sense they make, but it’s done, dammit. 

BTW, my overall favorite characters (in no particular order): Arthur, Charlie, Meredith, Alaster, Iggy, Bael, Mara, Junior, Solstice

My thoughts on 33 different characters below the cut:

The New Friends:

Kirk: Like Nick, probably could have been written out and not much would be changed. However, he gets a pass because he was never really meant to be in the main storyline to start with, being born of a short lived prompt based adventure on the MSPA forums, who got phased into the main storyline. However, unlike Nick he has a genuinely interesting motivation (evil goon gone good, determined to avenge his mistreated coworkers). I also love his overall cheery and easygoing personality, he seems like a very nice guy. Interesting backstory- he was apparently in the army reserves, but got hired by a private company, if I’m remembering correctly? That means that he might not have had any family in Ebon Creek- which means there may well be people still out there looking for him and worried about him, orrr they’ve just been told he’s dead, which is a sad thought. Also has an adorable dynamic with Morty- I could easily imagine him with that one gif along the lines of “I’ve only known Morty for 15 minutes, but if anything happened to him I would kill everyone in the room and then myself.” I also liked how he’s the only human member of the “good guys” to have any actual combat training- in an AU where nobody has demon powers or magic, he could probably wipe the floor with everyone else. Overall, very nice dude, love his abilities (cool weapons and shouting out power names is really fun), REALLY liked his aegis design, love his dynamic with Morty, grade A character.

Arrie- Another really cool lady! I really liked how she slowly went from confused but not incompetent, to really taking responsibility for the situation in Ebon Creek later in the storyline. It’s awesome to hear she’s going to get a more prominent role in the reboot, I ADORE her new design, and I’m quietly guessing her treasure chest motif pockets have bag of holding style portals in them. Would have loved to have seen her reunion with Azgrut, but ehn, we can’t have everything. Also love her clever use of portals- I think it works really well with her intelligent personality. I also really enjoyed her dynamic with Sally while they were teemed up- rough and tumble lady with a prim, proper and intelligent young woman, both happily beating up their opponents. Wonderful.

Victus- I’ve always had a soft spot for dry, logical characters, and Victus is no exception. I think as a fellow military dude, him and Kirk would have gotten along quite well if they had had more time to talk to each other. However, above all else I love his relationship with Bael- from how he initially turned Bael’s parasitism around on him, to how he, (in my opinion at least) ended up in a near-father figure position. It doesn’t matter how edgy Bael acts, Victus is there to pat him on the head in a patronizing fashion. Sure kid. You’re real cool. (While also taking into account his mental state and showing sympathy.) And frankly, if anyone needs that kind of support, it’s Bael.

Trevor- Always liked this guy! A very useful font of exposition, and a genuinely nice guy. I also really appreciate the fact that he’s not used to the chaos of Ebon Creek, and of horrible situations in general. His moments of vulnerability/near breakdowns (and Eric’s for that matter) remind the audience that everything that’s happening… isn’t normal. He’s the closest thing we have to an ‘audience insert’ in the Asylum arc. Loved his gadgetry based fighting style, would have been interesting to see what sort of demon powers he would have developed, but overall not too bummed about it. Really REALLY happy he got to rebuild his friendship with Azgrut, that was one of the things I was most pleased about with the ending.

Eric- Very similar to Trevor in terms of ‘audience insert’ and ‘nice guy’ and ‘hadn’t been completely traumatized by the start of the comic leading to mental breakdowns’, but rode along with the villains instead of the heroes. Poor thing ultimately ends up suffering more than Trevor though, for obvious reasons. It would have been cool to see someone actually learn how to be a zombie though; Sam and Jericho have been like that for years, and we missed Alaster’s adjustment period, but it would have been amusing to watch Eric slowly get used to it.

Also, he committed the biggest instance of ‘Nice job breaking it, hero’ in the whole comic. Way to revive King Law, Eric. Real smooth. Also very, very interesting in that he was one of the few that SIGVALDI found interesting. Eric’s likely up there on the list of cleverest characters, and I hope he’s doing ok after the end of Suppression.

Assorted Goons:

Grenner- I love this man. I draw him looking perpetually exhausted for a reason. He’s a very good man who blames himself for some very bad things, and while he outwardly holds himself together, is grasping at straws to figure out how to make things better. Is a man that’s plagued with guilt and also the actual plague, but has an INCREDIBLE mental fortitude- it’s been explained that perceiving one’s demonic infection as a separate entity is what kills you, but Dr.Grenner did that… and won. I also love his relationship with Iggy- once pretty good, now strained with Grenner trying very hard to put it back together. I’d really like to see them make up someday. (Iggy takes after his dad a lot tbh, loathe as he is to admit it.) ...Id also like to see Grenner show everyone Iggy’s baby pics. You know he’s got em somewhere.

Kolt- Noooooooo. Probably...my least favorite of the villains. Certainly the one I find the creepiest, for reasons I went over in my commentary with Sally, but also the one I found the least interesting in terms of characterization and backstory. Was really pleased to see his “death” and how he got repurposed into a different character, buuuut it’s less encouraging knowing he was going to come back. Please, you creepy bastard….just stay dead…..

Santris- Changing directions, one of my favorite villains. Unlike Nick, his small number of appearances works in his favor, considering he usually shows up during plot important moments, prodding things in one direction or another. This is a man who KNOWS things, and I love it. What is he up to? What’s his motivation? That’s all part of the intrigue. His power set links into this perfectly, which is to say he doesn’t really have one- he’s the only character that fights without magic or plague powers, leaving his real powers- if he has any- a mystery. There’s only one thing I feel fit to speculate on with this guy, and that’s the fact that he’s PROBABLY an elf, going by his eyes. Even that can’t be confirmed though, and makes things even more strange due to the fact that he seems to mostly work with humans, with little to no contact with Thal’nasia.

Azgrut- Another ‘not technically evil, just a victim of tragic circumstances’ character. Being murdered as a child, brought back as a zombie, and forced to build weapons or else be killed again doesn’t leave a guy with a lot of options. However, the weapons he’s building are his life’s work, and probably the only thing that brings him any real happiness or, failing that, satisfaction. It’s probably why he’s so protective of his work, and why he’s so pissy when anyone comes and bothers him. His magitech based fighting style is cool as heck to look at (And to compare/contrast with Trevor’s), and he has an EXCELLENT general aesthetic to him. Tron line zombie, hell yeah. Overall, his situation was even more miserable and ultimately hopeless than Sam’s, and I’m REALLY glad he got a happy ending. Though it’s a shame that because Arthur raised him, that means he’s still ultimately under control of the Wights, which was his whole goal with the phylactery thing. Wait. Azgrut’s still alive at the end. Which m…..FUCK. ARTHUR’S NOT DEAD, THE CAVE IN DIDN’T KILL HIM. I JUST FIGURED THAT OUT. FUCK

Maggie- Okokokok I’m cool, it’s cool. It’s cool. Arthur’s not dead, fine. I’ll just pretend he’s stuck under a rock somewhere, it’s fine. Ok, Maggie. She’s so. Fucking cool. So goddamn cool, I love her so much. I love her ease and sense of confidence, and the implication that she’s the one wearing the pants in her business relationship with Bartleby, even if the people they work with get the initial impression otherwise. She also probably wears the pants in their romantic relationship too. Which like, might not be a thing, not confirmed for canon, but it’s fun to think about. Also has a bitchin outfit, and the coolest ‘element’ out of everyone in the comic, I think. Gravity powers? There is so much room for shenanigans and cool fight scenes out of that. I’m really looking forward to seeing her in the new comic- judging from the number of stripes on her shoulder, she seems to be the boss in the reboot as well. Keep on rockin, girl.

Bartleby- Look. In almost every piece of media with a lot of villains, there’s always one brightly colored, egotistical and flamboyant one. I think for Suppression, Bartleby is that dude. I’m not even kidding- if you look at the big reference sheet of Suppression characters on Degulus’s Deviantart, there’s only 3 patches of bright color and those are Overload Charlie, Azgrut, and Bartleby. However, unlike other villains of that type, where their biggest flaw is their sense of pride, Bartleby’s motive is that Thal’nasia isn’t proud ENOUGH. He believes that elves are genuinely better than humans, but aren’t acting like it, and that needs to be fixed immediately, by way of violent take over of the government. That is a DELIGHTFUL motivation to have. I’m aware that a lot of Suppression’s villains match up with the seven deadly sins (though it’s not too strictly enforced), and envy is a hard one to pull off. However, Bartleby does it and does it well! (Side note: love this dude’s outfit, and double love the fact that he’s the only character who’s teeth you see on a regular basis… where those teeth aren’t sharp. That’s wonderfully unnerving. A+. )

Tyburn- This dude’s more of an honorable mention because he never actually shows up. You only hear about him in passing, so there’s not a LOT for me to say. It’s some hilarious irony that Azgrut doesn’t know what happened after he died (and neither does Iggy for that matter) so he just lists the completely wrong generals and Iggy just essentially nods and goes “Sounds legit.”. I feel like there’s a lot of mysteries around Tyburn though… like I said, we never see him, so who WAS this guy? Why did he defect? (Is he secretly still alive…?) However, the Blood Red Rebellion seems like it was pretty much a feature exclusive to the original comic, so we’re not likely to get anymore info. I’m fine with that tbh- not everything has to be explained to death. Sometimes a dude is just a dude.

Lexi- First of all. Love this girl’s aesthetic. The cropped haircut? The >:3c face? The goggles? The outfit? Yes, yes, and yes. She’s also the only character in the comic that has a very… ‘big sister’ sort of feel to her. Really she’s just an overworked babysitter who got handed a kid that she is in no way equipped to handle, but she’s doing her best to not mess him up too bad regardless. I get the feeling that she’s a dumb kid who was asked “Hey you wanna do some Villainy (™) “ and she was totally down for it before realizing much too late that. Villainy is not as fun as you’d think and ESPECIALLY not when you’re the replaceable mook.

Junior- Hhhh I love this boy. Look, I love art and drawing. I also love robots n stuff in media. I also have Aspergers, and so I have a tendencies towards anxiety, seeming ‘odd’ to other people, being baffled in situations that others would find normal, and obsessing over certain topics. As a result, those who have seen Junior can see why I love this child so so much. It can be kind of embarrassing to admit it, but I see a lot of myself in this character. I’m glad that he has someone that “gets” him and is looking out for his best interests (you rock, Alaster). We don’t really find out what happened to him, Lexi, Alaster and Maggie after the comic, but I like to think that they all got out ok and are just chilling out there somewhere.

Wight Family

Maxwell- Stern, serious, imposing heads of families are relatively common villains, and it’s pretty easy for it to become a boring, flat stereotype; for a character to become nothing more than, essentially, a villainous rock. Max is not this. Max is trying very hard to be this, but doesn’t always measure up, and that is infinitely more interesting than the evil boulder archetype. His character profile straight up says that he’s only trying to be cool and collected. In reality, he’s surrounded by (what he considers) idiots and is trying very hard to keep this show on the road, and his facade of dignity isn’t nearly as impregnable as he thinks. I love the idea of a cold, collected villain going from complex swordplay to an undignified bar brawl the moment he thinks no one’s looking. Just “Fuck it, fine, I’ll do this the easy way. This idiot doesn’t deserve me at my best anyway.” Unfortunately, while his character is very fun to read, the downfall of having a character that doesn’t go into villainous monologues...means that he never explains his evil plans. Which means I’m STILL not really sure… what it was he was trying to DO. Most of my ideas come from Degulus’s explanations in the comments, which is uhhh probably not the best way to communicate that to one’s audience. I’m pretty sure he was planning on altering the course of the leyline to change the laws of nature, and then controlling the world as an immortal zombie but… trusting Arthur to manage that? Yikes. Maybe not the best plan buddy, but you tried your best.

Arthur- Ohhh this bastard. Who is apparently still alive/undead. This bastard… is actually one of my most favorite characters. Like, irrevocably top 5 (I could never pick a #1, but he’s up there). He is an absolutely terrible person. Lazy and cowardly, but in a way that is loathable and malicious instead of sympathetic. Doesn’t seem to think highly of himself, but...doesn’t seem to have a high opinion of anyone else either. Killed his own kids. Killed his brother (s...sort of. It wasn’t very clear.). And today I figured out he didn’t even get comeuppance for it. (Unless, of course, he’s just trapped under a rock in a caved in cave for all eternity with his phylactery sitting on a desk somewhere. That’s kind of hilarious.) However… despite all that, he is an incredibly fun character to hate. His dialogue and reactions were always funny to read, and there’s something about his desire to just lie down and do nothing that appeals to everyone, I think. In a way, he’s similar to an audience insert or ‘straight man’- the one that says “You realize this plan is stupid and never going to work, right.” and is promptly ignored. In summary, terrible person, HORRENDOUS father, but a GREAT character.  

William- Ok technically not a person, but will still be giving commentary. A golem made of souls is an amazingly clever concept, though probably my most favorite part of William is getting to describe him as a “sack of angry ghosts” to my friends. It’s interesting how William appears to be at least partially sentient though- either that collection of souls does have some hivemind sort of consciousness, or that’s some faaaancy spell coding on Sigvaldi’s part. However, due to the fact that he’s a juggernaut superweapon of necromancy, he’s less a character and more a...almost environmental hazard that the characters have to work around. A unique and interesting superweapon that was a blast to read about how they worked around him, but… doesn’t leave me a lot to talk about in terms of character commentary.

Jericho- Ah, the poor narratively-proclaimed D-list villain. Nobody really likes him. Got waylaid by the events of the story, and as a result never did anything of much significance, but it was lampshaded and he later got a huge upgrade. I feel like that matches his personality quite well though. He takes after his dad a lot more than he’d like to admit; he has pride in being undead, and as a member of the Wight family, expects everyone to cower before him… and it’s really funny to watch how frustrated he gets when people don’t immediately do that. I think the combo with Kolt was a good idea; it gave him a much needed power boost and source of intrigue, being a possessed zombie. I was also really interested in seeing where his relationship with Iggy and Azgrut was gonna go! On an unrelated note though...I found out the other day that he’s only 2 years older than Samantha. However, Samantha’s backstory showed that she died as a little girl, and I thought it was implied by the “go get your brother” comment that Jericho died shortly after… but that would make Jericho have the body of a young teen/preteen at most. Sooo I guess that either wasn’t the day Jericho died and Arthur wanted him for something else, or acid zombies can age. Hmmm.

(PS. If Alastair calls Samantha Sam and Meredith Merry, does that mean he calls Jericho Jerry? Because if so, that’s hilarious.)

Samantha- The undying voice of nihilism, in a travel sized package. Sam didn’t get a huge role or a ton of appearances, but she’s one of the few who got what I considered a complete character arc. She had a problem, finally admitted that problem, got assistance with the problem and got her comeuppance. Her story was sad, but god if that didn’t make it all the more satisfying watching Arthur get thrown around like a toy by King Law. You could almost hear the squeaky toy sounds.

Alaster- I have a lot of respect for this guy. In the beginning of the story, he comes off as one of those mysterious, unhinged villains that gives a dramatic speech and then vanishes. However, the course of the story revealed layers of personality and backstory that made me genuinely feel for this guy. He’s proud to be a Wight, but somewhat paradoxically hates his family- this later turns out to be because his dad and uncle are terrible people, even to their own children, and he’s trying to actually create something resembling a “family” instead of...well, a soul-drowning pit of misery. He’s trying to make the Wight family a better place for the members of his generation. He’s trying to be a good brother, a good role model, and is friendly to Sam even though she doesn’t seem to want his kindness. He doesn’t mind though, he gets it. It’s so nice to see the younger members of “villain” half of the cast have someone in their corner willing to throw down for them no matter what. Alaster is an A+ older brother, A+ babysitter, and honestly probably would have made a good dad if he ever got the chance. Well, except for the ‘teaching kids how to murder’ part. But that’s just a traditional part of Wight education, I can give that the slip.

Meredith- My first thought upon seeing Meredith was “Oh my god she’s adorable.” Since then, my opinion has not changed in the slightest. She’s like Sabrina the Teenage Witch but evil. She wants to make a team of US presidents with chainsaw arms. I want to SEE her make a team of US presidents with chainsaw arms. Honestly, she’s a breath of fresh air in the Wight team. She’s good at her job, but young and enthusiastic. After so many dreary, depressed, gothass villains, it’s nice to see one that’s a straight up ray of bubbly sunshine who also wants to rip out your soul and use you as her cute lil familiar. I bet she can ride that scythe like a broomstick. She’s got the wind powers, it could work. The sad part is though is that...while the old Wights might have survived the cave in, and Arthur definitely survived, Meredith was the only one in the room who wasn’t undead or a lich which means she’s probably. Permadead by the end of the comi- AW FUCK THAT MEANS ALASTER’S DEAD TOO. AUUUGH. Oh fffuck I hope Alaster managed to get Junior back home before he just. Dropped dead next to him.

King Law- Unlike Max, this guy is a lot closer to the “villainous rock” stereotype; he even has an elemental affinity to Earth! While I find him a little more boring than Max though, I’m still drawn to him by his bitchin character design, and intriguing sense of ethics; he honestly has some good points on the nature of goodness and the fact that having a sense of right and wrong is worthless if “right” isn’t being defended. He seems to be the concept of “lawful evil” taken to a reasonable endpoint, whereas Sigvaldi would be the “chaotic” end of the scale.

Nora- Ohhh yes that’s the ticket. This is exactly what I wanted. It’s implied that...terrible things happened to the Wight kids’ mothers. (Ok they’re not really kids but you get what I mean.) However, that leaves a very obvious dearth of Wight ladies, leaving me with a hankering for more. Nora hits that spot so well. She’s elegant, refined, but also has a giant, badass fuckin’ sword (ok well she is the sword but still), and will happily kick the crap out of everyone that messes with her family, despite the drama. Is there a ton of depth and backstory? Nah, she was there for like...10 pages and died (thanks, Charlie), but her very existence is a much needed breath of fresh air. Also I need to draw her in a bunch of fancy outfits starting, like. Now.

Sigvaldi- So, I got one of my friends to read the reboot with me entirely on the off chance that Sigvaldi shows up in it based on the few snippets of the old comic that I showed him, so that certainly speaks wonders for Sigvaldi’s character. Granted, it’s mostly because he’s a lich and this friend loves those, but my point stands. Sigvaldi is great. I love characters with a unique worldview and sense of morality, and Sigvaldi is no exception. He is well aware that he creates monsters and commits sins against the laws of nature, and accepts this...what he truly loathes is those who do monstrous things and try to make it look like justice. Now THATS interesting. I also just generally enjoy his omniscient observer role in the story, popping up to give warnings and make predictions. I should also talk about the end of Suppression, while I’m talking about him, specifically those mysterious voices who’s ranks he joined at the end of the story… I’m not sure who they are, but I sure as hell cant wait to find out! I have a few guesses, but 0 evidence, so I’m gonna hold those cards close to my chest for now.

Other Characters

These guys diiiidn’t get a lot of screentime and also I’m feeling really crappy and sick right now so I might not have a lot to say, sorry.

Figaro- An elf with a BEARD. So good. I like how self aware he is about the nature of his job, and how light hearted he stays about it all. Sometimes, your coworkers are incredibly powerful mages that can control the very forces of nature themselves. And sometimes they’re idiots. And sometimes they’re both at the same time and you just kinda gotta roll with it.

Coin- Had pretty much just one conversation so I don’t have a lot to say about this guy. I like his near-naive dedication to heroics and justice though. That can be interesting in done right, especially if it’s from a character who isn’t actually naive and is instead willing to fight for that ideal. I actually find his family more interesting- he has a last name that’s been mentioned a couple times in different contexts. His family certainly gets around, huh?

Mara- Probably my favorite of the elves. I can understand both sides of peoples opinions of her. On one hand, she’s absolutely a child soldier. There’s definite negative effects to this that she straight up doesn’t have the experience or maturity to understand completely, and even though this frustrates her, the people claiming it are absolutely right. However, I can also understand her desire to be taken seriously as a person, the difficulty in repairing the good name of the Red part of the army, and the massive pressure on her as the last remaining heiress of the Kuin family. She’s got a lot of weight on her, and while I want to see her do well… I also wish she had the opportunity to. Well, be a dumb teenager. Very interesting character, but also very specific to the pre-reboot continuity, so I’m not sure what’s going to happen to her now.

Phylo- This is also a reaaaally good one. I love how much care was taken to write his disabilities- he’s competent and well respected, but his missing arm and blindness are taken into account and addressed reasonably. I especially loved how he has to take his arm off during the winter because of the chill that creeps up it- that shows a lot of thought put in, that not a lot of other comics would. A+ writing on that front. Normally I don’t think I’d like his grumpy, but still managing to brag sort of personality, but in this case I think it works because the other characters mentioned that he was the grumpy one; his behavior isn’t treated by the narrative as being a good thing.

Kevin- Admittedly not a huge fan of this guy. I mean he’s ok, I liked the kamen rider leystone power suit, that’s cool. And granted, we might not have gotten the best introduction to him, considering he was exhausted and it was the middle of the night when we met him. But overall, he seemed to me to be a guy where people kept saying that “he was a nice guy, really” despite being whiny and aggressive the whole time. He kept acting really distrustful, but none of his protestations really affected the plot, so I just spent most of the time waiting to move on from this guy. I get the feeling I also would like him more if I watched any episodes of Kamen Rider, as there’s supposed to be a lot of similarities buuuut I haven’t, so. Still, he’s supposed to be getting a lot of focus in the reboot, so hopefully he’ll be able to stand up on his own virtues.

Roni- Noooot a lot to say about this one. I’m interested in seeing what animal-based life magic looks like in practice though. Plant life magic is easy enough, it’s just plants, but is animal husbandry magic like...being able to control/talk to animals? Or is it kind of horrifying fleshcrafting. I also didn’t think she and Cerene were that similar, but I’m still looking forward to the sister relationship they’ll have! (I’ve also always wondered if that promised hang session with her and Cerene was going to lead up to a meeting and confrontation with Lexi… that would have been interesting.)

Torblad and Esra- Wasn’t a huge fan of these two either. I’m not sure if Torblad was just pretending to have gone crazy, or if he was supposed to actually have some sort of illness from his time travel shenanigans, but overall it just felt weird to me. The tone of his ‘prophecies’ was so different from the rest of the comic that I thought he was a one off joke character or a cameo of some other thing (like how Kirk was a character who was originally from a MSPA fanventure, I thought Torblad was a character from the original RP a lot of the elf characters came from that was going to be a tip of the hat one-off, tonally inconsistent cameo and then we’d more on.). Imagine my surprise when he ended up being responsible for the end of the comic! With Cerene’s help, of course. Overall, he just seems...out of place to me. With the rest of the cast being written well enough in terms of physical disabilities, the effects of trauma, and mental illness, Torblad’s sort of… lolrandom sort of craziness feels cut from a different cloth. I don’t even really have anything to say about Esra- she seems to be there pretty much entirely to interpret for Torblad, soooo I got nothing. Sorry, Esra.

Solstice- Aw yeah, there’s the good stuff. Take this with a grain of salt though; I’m not entirely sure if I’m interpreting her backstory correctly, as we only got bits and pieces of it. She was an excellent introduction to how much things were going to change for our “heroes” when they walked into Thal’nasia- instead of snarky comments and scuffles, they got someone that was spooked, shy, and wondering why the hell they were there in the middle of the night. She’s a bit awkward, but seems friendly and genuine; a much needed change of pace and a breath of fresh air. However, the story is quick to give her more depth than that. She used to be a lot sadder, a lot angrier, a lot more aggressive, and it’s taken time and effort to recover from that. She has a useful, unique worldview due to her golden aura color, but is estranged from society due to her differences and her odd personality as a result. And yet… she’s still become a kind person, with a helpful personality, and I have a lot of respect for that. It’s one thing to become a snarling badass in the face of adversity. That’s cool, and I like that too. Hell yeah, punch those who hurt you. But something we don’t get to see a lot is people recovering, getting better, realizing that while that aggression helped them at the time, it can become self destructive. It’s really nice to see a character that shows that stronger isn’t the be all, end all solution to one’s problems. (Though she could probably still kick your ass if she wanted to. Just sayin.)

[deebormzone]

Klingdom Harps 3: Who’s the (Secret) Boss?

Sorry I haven’t written much lately. I recently got the standard English major’s retail job, which sucks away most of my energy. I gotta toughen up so I can produce more insightful content, like this:

I like Kingdom Hearts a lot because it lets me jump and fight and also my friend Jafar is there.

The big KH news, which is a couple months old by now, is that Kingdom Hearts 3 finally has a vaguely estimated release window: 2018. Now I can worry less about whether it will really come out, and more about how much of it will be DLC.

Besides DLC, series creator Nomura has also spoken about the now-traditional secret boss battle. In other Kingdom Hearts titles, there are one or more optional fights, designed to be the most difficult encounters in the game. They’re usually Sephiroth.

In terms of the secret boss, we can’t say anything at this time, but in terms of Sephiroth specifically, my development team are worried that we’ve had him come back so many times so they’re maybe worried it might be redundant at this point. We’re still deliberating on it.

I'm with the development team here. There’s room for more than just Sephy. But assuming they do put a secret boss in KH3 (and since the other big KH games have had secret bosses, excluding one from the biggest Hearts yet would be pretty shameful), who could compete with everyone’s favorite silver-haired genetic abomination?

There are actually a few good options. Here are some dudes I’d like to face in Kingdom Hearts 3 as an uberboss, loosely arranged from least cool to most cool. The only real requirement is that they be either Square Enix or Disney characters.

Crystal Enthusiast: Culex

Culex is a secret boss already! He’s from Super Mario RPG, but designed to look and act like a Final Fantasy boss. It’s implied that he crossed over from the Final Fantasy series to look for strong opponents. I don’t know why he would go looking in the Mushroom Kingdom, but I guess it worked out for him.

With his dimension-hopping and challenge-seeking, Culex would be a good fit for Kingdom Hearts secret boss. This is basically a pipe dream, though. Since he’s actually from a Mario game, it’s pretty unlikely he’d be allowed in. It may be his fate to languish in Mario Land for all eternity...

Principal Samurai: Master Eraqus

Eraqus was a major character in the Kingdom Hearts prequel, Birth by Sleep. He used to teach the protagonists how to use their Keyblades properly. Most of his lessons seem to involve hitting things, but that does tend to build experience in every game in the whole series. Go with what works, I guess.

Of course, he had an unfortunate accident, but that doesn’t prevent him from being a boss. Just call him “Lingering Spirit” or whatever. He’s probably the most likely person on this list to actually appear as a superboss, if he doesn’t show up in Kingdom Hearts 3 in some other form.

But despite being fairly important, his fighting style is sort of basic. He’s got a couple of big moves, but not much else. And even though I usually struggle against him in Birth by Sleep, he’s not that tough canonically. There may be better options.

Evillest Clown: Kefka

Ah, Kefka. He’s the boss of Final Fantasy 6, the clown who usually takes second place on the Final Fantasy villain lists... and sometimes first. This makes him a natural choice for Square Enix superboss if Sephiroth isn’t around.

I’m always down to clown. Kefka’s a manic, psychotic sociopath, which is often more fun to play with than your usual uptight or brooding villain. His fighting style in Dissidia, the Final Fantasy fighting game, is to annoy his enemy to death. Notable achievements of his include blowing up the world and becoming God, making him significantly more successful than your average antagonist. No worries about an underpowered foe here, though I’d rather fight his clown form than his purple angel form.

Somehow, though, I don’t see him getting in. Final Fantasy 6 has had almost no representation in Kingdom Hearts thus far. Is that game even still popular?

That, and the wacky clown personality doesn’t go over well with everyone. It might not fit the “epic boss battle” they’re planning. Shame.

Fallen Mascot: Oswald

I always love the Disney-based antagonists, but it’s hard to pick a definitive one. Maleficent usually takes the lead in villain meetups, but she’s not secret enough to be a secret boss. Is there anyone good left from the House of Mouse, besides maybe Walt himself?

There are plenty of great Disney villains who haven’t shown up yet. Dr. Facilier would fit right in with his control of dark magic. Yzma’s alchemy and sorcery could make for an excellent boss battle. Madam Mim’s shapeshifting could be an intense multi-stage fight. Turbo would jump at the chance to dominate another video game. Hell, they should put Cruella de Vil in the game just because.

The trouble with all of these is that they’re all single-world threats. They don’t hit hard enough to match up to, you know, Sephiroth.

There’s another option, though. Oswald the Lucky Rabbit was Walt Disney’s first animated character, but he took a backseat to now-international-icon Mickey Mouse. Sometimes, though, he reemerges - most recently as a dark version of Mickey in the Epic Mickey series.

In Kingdom Hearts, Mickey is (hilariously) a messiah-like hero of light, so Oswald could conceivably be a reverse version. A cartoony Keyblade wielder with dark versions of Mickey’s god-powers. He’s got the prestige and the lore. Why not take him on?

Of course, the same issue that applies to Kefka affects Oswald: he’s innately goofy, which might damage the brooding, trenchcoat image of a secret ultimate boss. Of course, what with Gruff Mickey as he appears in Kingdom Hearts, maybe they’d make Oswald edgy enough to fit. Somehow.

Numberwang: Sho Minamimoto

Here’s one of Nomura’s creations who could use some more time in the spotlight. Minamimoto is a villain in The World Ends With You, a Reaper who hounds the characters. He’s known for making big piles of garbage and shouting mathematical functions at people (“Sine, cosine, tangent!”). Basically, a flawless character.

The protagonists from his game appeared in the most recent Kingdom Hearts as major players, so there’s some small precedent. Also, he turns into a demigod or something by the end of the game, so he’s probably strong enough.

There are a couple of other characters from The World Ends With You who could work here. First is Joshua, but he’s been in Kingdom Hearts already. Next is the actual TWEWY antagonist, but he’s kind of forgettable. There’s also a secret boss in TWEWY who could show up, but he’s only intimidating because you spent the whole game talking to him and assuming his unimportance.

No, the reason I went straight for Sho is because he’s a certified memer. Don’t underestimate that meme magic. I don’t remember much about the main bosses of TWEWY, but I absolutely remember Shouting Math Guy, and being memorable is what counts in a super-secret ultimate boss fight.

Sadly, this is just grasping at straws. In the end, Minamimoto is a little guy from a little game - on a Nintendo console, even. But you know what they say: a dream is a wish your heart makes.

Burn Victim: Darth Vader

Yeah, I went there. Star Wars is Disney now, and all bets are off. Up is down, black is white, the Jedi are evil.

I’ve seen a lot of comments online about how terrible it would be if Star Wars or Marvel got into Kingdom Hearts, but I just can’t understand them. The whole point of this franchise, besides making big buckets of money, is to rampage across a huge range of wacky environments. Adding Star Wars would be super wacky AND good for more money buckets, so they should do it the moment they get the chance. It’s as simple as that.

Let me address Marvel Comics for a moment. There are a number of villains from that universe who could appear in Kingdom Hearts as superbosses, but they don’t appeal to me very much. A comics expert probably has better opinions than I do, but the bad dudes powerful enough to show up seem kind of dull to me, and the interesting ones are too weak.

Planet-eating Galactus would be a good fit for Kingdom Hearts, but what does the big guy even do? Generic lasers and large hand slap? Doctor Doom is a classic, but when he fights mano a mano it ends up being tiny guns and foot dive. M.O.D.O.K.? A true role model and friend to all, but too weak. Magneto is the best cross between power and panache I can think of from Marvel, but beating up a Holocaust survivor probably crosses a few too many lines, even for Kingdom Hearts.

Despite my complaints, I’d be okay with just about anything from Marvel or Star Wars in the Kingdom of Heart. The wackier, the better, I always say. Still, my dreams of wackiness will likely go unfulfilled. The odds of getting any of that stuff in is pretty low at the moment. But what if there’s just enough influence to take just one piece of Star Wars into Kingdom Hearts? One character, for one fight, harder than any other?

Right off the bat, Vader commands more respect than Sephiroth. A lot more. Here’s a character everyone knows, one of the most infamous villains of all time. He fits the role of ultimate boss extremely well. He’s proficient in one-on-one combat, he’s filled with mystic powers, his saber fighting could lead to great Keyblade clashes, and he generally fits the light vs. darkness themes of Kingdom Hearts.

Beyond the Lucasfilm fees, though, there’s one other issue. His live-action-movie fighting style might not translate well to Kingdom Hearts’ hopping-around-and-exploding-into-beams-of-light fighting style. The game might actually be too goofy for Lord Vader. Maybe not, seeing as how Keyblade Dude Sora has faced off against live-action people before (Pirates of the Carribean and Tron), but the incongruity might be too much for the lawyers, if not the players.

There’s just one name left on my wishlist.

No, Darth Vader isn’t final enough to take the top spot. He’s a lousy dad.

My most wanted superboss candidate can only be THE #1 dad of all time.

The Best: Jecht

Jecht is like if sports became a human being. All he does is play ball, go on adventures, and insult his son. He’s perfect.

He stands alongside Sephiroth and Kefka as the more-or-less final boss of Final Fantasy X. There’s already a lot of X representation in Kingdom Hearts - Tidas is in, Wakka is in, Auron is in, YuRiPa is in. Adding the big man himself wouldn’t be much of a stretch. Plus, Jecht’s natural habitat is the stadium, which is where secret optional bosses are often fought.

This is the guy I want to fight as the secret boss. He’s a being of near-godlike power, and is also a dumb asshole who throws a ball at your head while calling you a wimp. He’s got the strength, and the pedigree as the boss of one of the most beloved Final Fantasies. No licencing issues, no nothing. His favorite prey is lame kids, and that’s basically main character Sora in a nutshell.

Best of all, though, is his fight song “Otherworld”, which (if you for some reason prefer not to hear its glory) is just a guy screaming over guitars. It tries so hard, it’s unbearably stupid. But then it tries even harder and loops back around to being really funny, and then loops some more until it’s actually a nice jam.

That closes out my list of potential secret bosses for Kingdom Hearts 3, but there are plenty of options I didn’t cover. In the end, I’ll be happy with any fight that’s fun and has a lot of exploding light particles. With luck, we might even get multiple secret bosses! It’s happened before.

Deeborm signing off for now. Here’s hoping Kingdom Hearts 3 will be worth the wait.

... but it will probably just be Sephiroth again.

[martywurst]

My First and Worst Year: Producing A Show

I get caught up in the gossip. Shitting on comedians that I barely know. I'm trying to stop that. Early on, I was one those guys that would say something negative because I was trying to start a dialogue and reinforce any negative feelings I had about someone. Usually based in nothing; maybe one lousy first impression or through the grapevine on Facebook. Unfortunately, talking shit is a major way to bond with other inexperienced comics. A lot of miserable, sarcastic, unmotivated, boring comics. Or 10+ year comics that bitch about how unfair everything is. They can't talk to you for 30 seconds without shitting on something.

Now I know that's not me. I never feel good about it and it never helps.

The comics I look up to are modest, rarely say anything bad about anyone because they're just focused. They don't feed the fire. I'd rant about something and they wouldn't have anything to add to it. Maybe something along the lines of,

"Yeah, that can happen," kind of response.

I'd see the look on their face. I'm the problem.

I was the same way in Junior High. Picking on the popular kids and being obnoxious because I was so desperate to be a part of their circle. Afraid to be myself. Afraid to put in that kind of work.

I'll be obsessed with some idiot for hours on a Facebook thread, so tempted to participate in the attack, but where is it going to get me? Fuck, I could've written something. I should be writing jokes now, but I think I know something about blogging and comedy! I feel like I'm just regurgitating boring opinions that have been voiced on hundreds of podcasts already, I'll try to pepper this section up! Check out this sweet ass pimp kitty vest!

 I always want to prove myself to other comics. An audience of strangers is always amazing, but I do feel the pressure of an all-comic mic. It's way too important to me. I don't want to be written off, I know I can be funny. Maybe not the last 20 times you saw me, but I'll get there, don't write me off!

When I had a decent set in front of someone I respected, I felt like I could check that off. Okay, that person doesn't think I'm a piece of shit anymore. I proved myself. Getting closer to being an actual comic! Every good set is a stepping stone. My bad sets would just temporarily render me useless. Instead of doing my homework and adjusting, I would just write something new or beat a bad joke into the ground. Maybe it'll work the 27th time.

"The people that go to Burning Man only need these two words to communicate: Burning...man!"

*crickets slashing wrists*

I bombed in front of Sean Conroy and took it kind of hard. Intimidating dude, (like the Ron Perlman of improvisation) he was sitting in the front row at Echoes Under Sunset with his arms crossed, waiting for his set and just watching me hang myself. He'd probably seen a thousand variations of the heckler character I was doing. I picked on him in character, but he wouldn't roll with it. Why would he? It was more fun to watch me squirm.

Every time I asked him a question he would answer,

"Sure."

Which is sort of the "fuck you" version of "yes and,"  It's an improv thing.

I was berating the audience for being a bunch of hipsters. Yelling out,

"Well I got something for ALL OF YOU!"

Then I started handing out free coffee coupons from a local coffee shop. Sean politely declined.

I had my bombing routine where I would call up Claire afterwards and tell her I just ate shit. Or who I ate shit in front of. She would convince me that it was okay, everybody bombs, and remind me that I'd had good sets before. She would tell me that she loved me and make me feel better about what had happened. Oh, there is life after tomorrow, I forgot! Thanks, baby!

Claire understands the grind. She's a fan of a lot of the people I look up to and we listen to a lot of the same podcasts now. She got into Jen Kirkman and The Longshot Podcast early on and now she subscribes to more comedians than I do. We went to Power Violence and a number of shows at The Improv. Pete Holmes, Todd Glass, Ron Lynch, Eddie Pepitone, Maron, Sebastian, Ian Edwards, and Tig- we love Tig. She pushed me to go on the road. She encouraged me to stop using the train and take her car instead. She makes this all possible. It's unbelievable. She even made cookies when I produced my own show.

I'd done a couple of shows at The Lexington with Tony Bartolone where I did some character stuff. I played a wrestler, a heckler that takes on Mr. Goodnight and a squarish Steve Allen type talk show host. Anyway, the owner liked me enough and said if I ever wanted to use the space, hit him up.

Tony was nice enough to help me too, he ran sound for me. Uggh, I didn't even give him a fucking spot and he ran sound for me- that's how great a guy he is and how SELFISH I can be.

 I think the best thing in comedy after doing standup is booking your own show. Reaching for the stars, pulling in friends, what a great position to be in! Compiling a fantasy list of mostly male comics and shooting them a message on Facebook.

So if you're a new comic wondering, how the hell do I get booked on a show?

Well, a moron like me could accidentally see you at an open mic and then end up liking you! And I'm the guy who did a shitty set before you, remember? You never know who could be running shows.

Most people got back to me pretty quick. Comedians love a full calendar. 

I adored The Walsh Brothers. So original and twisted. They blew my mind at TigerLily and I finally met the guys through a mutual friend.

Brian Scolaro was someone I had talked to outside of The Comedy Store. He's one of the first comics to give me any kind of advice,

"Don't move To Long Beach."

I was a fanboy of Dean Delray. I heard Matty Goldberg on Danny Lobell's podcast and dug his book about his friendship with Angelo Bowers. Ron Babcock was one of the friendly guys on the scene, loved his standup. I'd worked on a webseries with Paul Danke. Just met a lot of the other comics at open mics. I worked with Jeanne Whitney at Arclight Hollywood and we started standup around the same time. I watched Timika Hall do her first set at Echoes Under Sunset and she was great! Ester Steinberg cracked me up at The Palace and then I wanted to book her after I saw this sketch. She just happened to be hanging out with Neel Nanda when I was booking him, so I got both of them right then and there.

Robert Vertrees was brand new like me, but I just dug his story.

I knew I'd never have to worry about Ken Garr.

Just read his awesome blog entry "One Year Later and Why I Should Quit"

I should've taken note and made my blog shorter! That dude is a complete professional and will never hesitate to give you his tour dates at the MGM in Las Vegas.

Jak Knight was edgy and exciting. Jon Durnell was the best thing about a bringer show I did at the Formosa. I didn't even know Lisa Landry, but Brian asked if she could be on. Same thing with Kevin James Moore, a buddy of Matty's.

  Maagic Collins is one of the kindest souls I've ever met. I love his standup. He would show up to my afternoon Tribal mic on Saturdays. Very supportive guy.

I think I saw Rick Wood at Power Violence and he just blew me away.

Anyway, you get the fucking point, this was just an excuse to drop everyone's links. Jesus Christ.

One time I made the amateur mistake of messaging too many people at once and then having to tell one comic I'd put them on the next show. I got a lot of grief for that and I was pulling my hair out. I was getting a guilt trip from the disappointed comic and now I didn't want to book him at all. It was totally my fault, but I was just getting through the learning curve. Book carefully, and wait for your damn responses.

Another recurring thing that kept coming up is a comic wanting to bring a friend for a guest spot. It's a good rule of thumb to keep a spot open for a possible drop-in. Or just book less comics Marty. Aren't you glad you paid $200 for this helpful comedy workshop tip?

I was also planning on doing all these wacky sketches and transitions that had nothing to do with the stand-up comedy. I wanted to make it an event. I asked Chris Walsh if we could have an extended dialogue where the Walsh Brothers get in an argument with me and then pretend to shoot me from the audience...so now I'm suddenly on the level of The Walsh Brothers! Proposing bits. Chris was really nice about it and declined in the best way possible. He made me realize that I should only work on the hosting- not all this extra dressing. I'd be stressed out enough. Plus, The Walsh Brothers have their own thing going on and it's hilarious.

Claire helped me with some basic PR stuff; shooting out emails to various websites with LA calendars of events. Lot of people check online for free entertainment. I hit up LA Weekly early enough to get this delightful blip:

Did I pay anyone? I paid Dean Delray. I paid Brian Scolaro. It seems a little unfair now, I had The Walsh Brothers, Ron Babcock, Paul Danke, and Matty Goldberg, who all have a shitload of experience.

I got this dumb idea that I should write thank you notes to everyone else. Looking back, I gave comedians false hope of money in those envelopes, only to find a badly scrawled "thank you" with some shitty stick figure doodles. At least there were cookies at the gig.

Brian mentioned the 50 bucks onstage and I was really embarrassed. It exposed the inner-workings of my inexperience and that I was holding out on everyone else. I think I would do it differently now, but it was a free show.

Tony watched me have a mini-meltdown. I was stressing out because there was a band that was booked on a show immediately after and it was clear that I was going to run over their time. I thought if I gave up my own set and kept bringing the next comic up, we'd finish on time without cutting anyone's sets down.

Tony explained to me that I shouldn't of worried about that, that it was worse to bring the comics up cold. It's better to keep the audience warmed up, but I was hopping back on stage saying,

"Give it up for Ron Babcock, and now let's keep it moving- Matty Goldberg!"

I didn't get it. I thought running over my time would fuck things up and I'd never get to do a show again. I shouldn't of booked so many comics anyway- Paul Danke was going on dead last, and he'd been waiting around so long, I felt horrible. I should buy his album.

So don't sacrifice your time for the sake of the next show- be a good host, Wurst.

But that first show had a great turnout, especially for The Lexington. The comics were kind of impressed. That extra leg work paid off.

I remember I wanted to bring Dean Delray up to a Led Zeppelin song and I kept bothering Tony about it when the order changed. Then when the music came up, Dean was clearly stoked and that little moment meant a lot to me.

On his way out he yelled,

"Congratulations on your 1st year of stand up!"

Speaking of which, I asked Melina Paez if I could be in her "DropTheSoapTV" series, where comics do stand-up in her shower. It was a fun way to cap off my first year.

Okay, that was rather manic. Just a couple steps away from Denis Leary- uggh. Anyway, I STOPPED doing that. Here's a message to myself as I time-travel back to the shower,

Horrible jokes, asshole! Your taint is hilarious by the way.

I just want to thank the people that encouraged me or gave me useful information when I started bumbling my way through open mics that first year (July 2013-2014)

Brett Gilbert, Ric Rosario, Matty Goldberg, Tony Bartolone, Jason Van Glass, Ron Babcock, Dean Delray, Chris Walsh, Matt Walsh, Danny Lobell, Mollie Gross, Melina Paez, Brian Scolaro, Jamie Flam, Jeremiah Watkins, Mike Celestino, Justin Alexio, Neel Nanda, Mikey de Lara, Paul Danke, Ari Mannis, Lydia Robinson, Ryan Doolittle, Maagic Collins, Don Barris, Elissa Rosenthal, Rob Antus, K-von, Jarrett and Emily Galante, Christiane Georgi, Hiro Matsunaga, Greg James, Carly Craig, Matthew Hilton, Sally Mullins, Matt Sauter, Matt Gamarra, Donald McKinney, Ryan Kain, Jeremy Fultz, Del Weston, Derick Armijo, Alisha Morine, Nicole Malina, Devon Schwartz, Andy Salamone, Barbara Gray, Sean Conroy, Myles Weber, Ricky Winston, Frankie Ma, Rishi Arya, Brandon Birckz, Sean K., Mike Menendez, Jamar Neighbors, Mr. Goodnight, Erica Rhodes, Matt Champagne, David Gerhardt, The Martin Duprass, John Silver, Ryan Pfeiffer, Kevin Anderson, Whitney Melton, Kym Kral, Jared Levin, Kenneth Lion, Alex Croll, Adam Carr, Trevor James, Deon Williams, Amber Brashear, Pat Regan, Brad Silnutzer, Rob Weissman, Marty, Graham Curan, Eddie Pepitone, Quincy Johnson, Blythe Metz, Willie Dynamite, Freddy Morales, Marcela Perdomo, Nick Kaufman, Atelston Fitgerald Holder The 1st, Bruce Boiman, Tom Allen, Melissa Villasenor, Maria Bamford, Todd Glass, Lou Perez, Allison Anders, Jeremy Bassett, Tony Alfieri, Laura Niles, Tamoy Sherman, Chaliss Robinson, Eddie Whitehead Jr, Brent Weinbach, Jill Maragos, Jodi Miller, Luz Pazos, Brianna Murphy, Sasha Kapustina, Alain Villenueve, Brad James, Lauren Kiang, Yoav, Ken Garr, David Gregorian, Jordan Leer, Stefano Della Pietra, Down Under Comedy Club, Mike Garrison, Brad and Sara Harris, Thomas Hussey, Harold, Chino, Tiffany Gomes, Simon Gibson, Joe Wagner, Scott Luhrs, Jay Weingarten, Joe Kardon, Pedro Salinas, Willie Dynamite, Robert Vertrees, Amber Kenny, Karah Britton, Alison Tafel, David Hill, Andy Kosec, Micah Lile, Chris Putro, Kris Rubio, Jade Thom, Brodie Reed, Ryan Talmo, Kevin Lee, Kellie Ann, Jeanne Whitney, Jake Kroeger, Nikki Riordan, Tim Mars, Christian Chavez, Jake Adams, Louise Hung, Michael Donato, my Geffen peeps, all my Arclight friends, Stella friends, childhood friends and family that came out to support.

Or if you're just generally nice to me thanks. You gave me the strength to go out and bomb one more time.

Shout out to Mike Celestino's great documentary "That's Not Funny".

and finally To Claire:

For every time I called you up to moan out my discontent, only to be dissuaded from my stubborn misery because of your constant light, love, and gentle reasoning.

For those open mics you'll never be able to unsee.

I love you more than open mic comedians love pussy jokes.

And as you know, that's a hell of a lot.

[angstylittlecatboy]

memories of my sprite comic nobody read

I'm not sure if I believe in the whole angel numbers thing anymore but I think they want me to reintroduce my sprite comic (saw 111 while thinking about it.) I just feel like talking about it, idk. I know nobody cares.

Barring a few standout strips I don't think Purrnout the Edgy Cat (covering my bases here, but the comic predates me meeting FP by two years, “edgy” refers to how stuff like Linkin Park and Shadow the Hedgehog is referred to as edgy) was a good comic, most of it's gags fall flat, the backgrounds and walking sprites were mostly ugly (if my more detail-oriented brother was downstairs he'd insist I do better,) and I could never get a story arc off the ground, but I only made it to kill the bore (in the description it said "updates whenever boredom strikes") and I had fun making it.

The idea was to be a sprite comic (believe me, I’d draw the comic if I were any good at drawing, but I learned my lesson from having DeviantArt) that was something of an affectionate parody of early 2000s sprite comics while avoiding a lot of the common complaints about them, also throwing in some punk/goth/emo culture. Specifically, all of it's characters were original, only one was a recolor (and his name was Recolor the Hedgehog, he was the deuteragonist and straight man, I planned to make him the only character who can't do cool superpower stuff for irony,) I didn't use backgrounds from Google Images, it didn't directly take place in the universe of something else (my idea was that it took place in a nonsense universe where every work of fiction is somehow canon, though I wanted to be pretty strict about seeing concepts and objects but never characters from other works, but other than showing Recolor losing rings, nothing ever came of it,) I tried not to mainly use reference or shock humor, and I tried to use a consistent sprite style for the characters and backgrounds (I confess to ripping effects.) I don't think it ever achieved parody of 00s sprite comics, I wanted to eventually make some stuff like DBZ-style sprite battles and teen melodrama, but I ended up making a gag-a-day strip mostly utilizing cringe comedy. At least, all the good or least bad strips are cringe comedy. I tried teen melodrama but it was mostly big lipped aligator moments that went nowhere, especially both aborted story arcs (though the latter was going to be less teen melodrama and more band melodrama.) If I reupload the comic, the arc comics won’t be reuploaded with the rest as I consider them non-canon since neither got past two strips and the first attempt would have honestly ruined the comic if it finished. I guess there were two continuous strips where Purrnout commited tax fraud (I think this predated the Yoshi meme) but I don’t see that as a story arc. Actually the first three comics were sorta a story arc but they mostly just introduced the main two, explained why Purrnout is living in an apartment (I think I needed to explain this as I intended it as a Chekrov’s Gun for a later story arc,) and made some obscure Green Day references. Maybe the arc comics could get re-added at a different place on the timeline if I felt like completing the arcs. A huge problem is that I didn’t make an outline for them tbh.

The style I settled on for the backgrounds and sprites was that of the Neo Geo Pocket Color. The panels were in either that system’s resolution or one close to it (they were tiny.) I ignored palette limitations, but so did most sprite comics.

I must admit that the title character is a self-insert fantasy to some extent, he was admittedly, like 16-year-old me but cooler. Well, not really cooler since the comic revolves around him being a loser, but he was an emancipated minor and a good punk/alt rock guitarist, both tying into my fantasies at the time, and he was a lonely emo teenager trying to not be mainstream. If I brought the comic back, I’d continue to write Purrnout as 16YO me and not as 18YO me. I’m still a loser, but my spiritual beliefs, dedication to kindness, and inconsistent attitudes towards life WOULD NOT mesh with the character. Purrnout cannot have reverence to things that control the world or talk about peace and love, he needs to be angry at the world and be a bit of a deliberately insensitive asshole to the people he doesn’t like. Sort of a much less extreme version of an incel (I identified as such at the time.) Wouldn’t call him a Mary Sue, though it’s not really my call to make since I’m the author and this is the only creative work of mine that can kinda be considered “completed” that I’m still fond of in a way. Maybe I’ll cringe someday, but not today.

There’s not much to say about Recolor the Hedgehog, he’s very much a pretty normal guy other than having nerdy interests and Purrnout as a best friend. He more or less exists to be a straight man. He was a composite of my brother and an ex-friend.

I might as well mention the comic’s other non-antagonist character since I’ve already talked about both Purrnout and Recolor. Love the Golden Retriever, a rich, smart, pretty normie girl with a Pollyanna viewpoint, a wish to heal people like Purrnout, and a crush on Recolor. She was based on a variety of girls who tried to become my friend out of pity and were nice enough but we didn’t connect. Purrnout finds her annoying, while she considers Purrnout a friend. I also introduced another one, but she was part of the first aborted attempt at an arc. 

A third main character was planned as well, but she was supposed to be introduced in a story arc that I planned but never even tried to start. She wouldn’t make it into the comic if I start it up again, at least not without heavy modification, as I eventually met someone who was very similar to the character I had in mind. So similar that adding them now would look creepy.

The comic’s most common antagonist was a cat named Muffin. He was basically Chad Thundercock, probably the most shallow character in a comic that wasn’t long enough to get deep. I also introduced another character intended as an antagonist in an admittedly-hamfisted way named Felicity the Once-Golden Retriever, Love’s best friend who used to be a highly optimistic normie with a promising modelling career before Muffin cheated on her, and then became an angsty anti-society rebel who thinks cutting her hair and dying her fur darker makes her ugly. She hated Purrnout because she felt that Purrnout hadn’t suffered like she had and is moping for no reason, which annoys her. I think I was trying to do a straw feminist character minus the actual feminism, but don’t quote me on that. I had a third antagonist that I wanted to introduce, my favorite antagonist made for the comic actually, and he already cameoed, but I never ended up writing him. Maybe if I had my PC through Summer/Fall 2018 I would’ve made more (the last one was Spring 2018.)

But anyway, it doesn’t really matter. My brother was the only person who really read Purrnout, but I do remember him getting a chuckle out of it. I posted it on Tumblr (now deleted) and I got one follower, who was likely a bot. I never posted a link to it on my main Tumblr, partially because I wanted to see it gain an organic audience first (it didn’t lol) and partially because I was scared of it being seen as cringe. You may have come across it if you browsed the “sprite comic” tag on here. I know Tumblr is a bad place to host webcomics (at least if it’s the only place you’re hosting the webcomic) but it’s free, I was familiar with it, and I wasn’t making any plans to profit off of or take the comic seriously (it ran Summer 2016 - Spring 2018 and only had twenty strips.)

I’m still hesitant to bring back the comic because I honestly want to use the universe (most of it, obviously modifications would need to be made) for a video game idea I have, though that would be 10+ years in the future if I ever have credibility as a game developer since I couldn’t see myself doing that one without a team (”3D hack n’ slash platformer” is a lot harder than “2D JRPG.”) Hell, I originally made the sprite for a Zelda II clone I wanted to make with Purrnout using side mounted guns (because Shadow the Edgehog,) but for some reason, be it laziness (not wanting to re-learn Game Maker) or wanting to use the character for something more character driven, I ended up making a sprite comic instead. Another route I could do is redesigning and renaming Recolor, and removing all sprites ripped from other games, but I’m extremely hesitant to mess with Recolor’s design since his worried face is a running gag and if I did continue I’d still want to eventually make jokes that don’t work without him being a Sonic recolor.

Also, it wasn’t a furry webcomic, at least not entirely. “pet sized” (cats, dogs, wolves, foxes, etc.) characters would stand on fours while characters of much smaller or much larger stature (cows, hedgehogs,) than that would be anthropomorphic.