#I’m just so mad right now because my hands were stained red

[daydreaming-nerd]

The Prophecy (Lucien Vanserra x Rhys! Sister)/(Azriel x Rhys! Sister) Part 3 (Azriel's Version)

Part One , Part 2

AN: "Majesty, Palo is exhausted. Because Majesty only Palo can take this (angst) and this (groveling) and give you...a masterpiece."

No fr guys I put my whole puss into this plz tell me if you liked it

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Summary: The only thing worse than having Azriel not know about the bond is watching him and Elain carry on like she doesn’t have a mate as well. Lucien and you have been long time friends but things change after one fateful starfall celebration. It’s not wrong if both of your mates don’t want you right? 

Warnings: angst, fluff like so much fluff, no editing (I'm so tired omg)

Word count: 9,370

We arrived in the house in silence, the only thing to fill the void was the crackling of the enchanted fire that always sprang to life whenever I walked through the door. My eyes were fixed on the floorboards, studying every grain of wood as I put together what had just happened. 

I had told Azriel about the bond, and I did it in anger. I had imagined telling him a million different ways over the past 400 years but never did imagine doing it out of spite. I was just so angry with Elain and her insufferable entitlement that had me seeing red. If anyone should act in such a manner, it should be me, I was a princess after all. 

I was furious with Elain there was no doubt about that, but the voice that kept echoing in my mind was Azriel’s. How he yelled at me. I had known him my whole life and I had never once been afraid of him, until today. 

As if he was tired of the silence, Lucien brushed his hand under my chin bringing my gaze to his, it wasn’t until then that I realized I was crying. 

“Are you okay?” he asked, brows furrowing at my tear stained cheeks. 

“Yeah,” I laughed him off, wiping the water from my face. 

“I’m sorry I interfered like that, I wasn’t sure if you wanted to speak to him or if you wanted me to kick his ass. But he seemed mad and I wouldn’t stand for him yelling at you.” Lucien apologized leaning against the back of the couch a good three feet away sensing I needed some space. 

“I suppose that I wasn’t sure what I wanted either,” I sigh leaning against the doorframe. “Thank you for stepping in. I think it was for the best.” 

“Of course, I’ll always be there for you,” Lucien nods before resuming his staredown with the floor, probably trying to make sense of everything just like I was. “Az seemed…concerned for you. I think the bond snapped for him.” 

“It did,” I say, running my hand over my chest, as if I could touch the faint glow of the bond that now sat in my chest. “It clicked the moment he saw us in the kitchen.”

“Are you happy it clicked?” he asked, once again asking all the questions I truly didn’t have an answer for, at least not yet. 

“I-I’m not sure.” I say honestly, knowing I didn’t need to hide my true feelings from Lu. “I’ve pictured him finding out a million ways, but over the last couple years I’ve kind of given up on the whole endeavor. I felt like I made it clear that I liked him, and he only met me with complaints about other women. First Mor and then Elain.” 

“Maybe he’s changed,” Lucien pointed out. 

“Even if he had it’s not because he loves me.” I murmured sadly. “You heard him in there. He only wants me because he feels entitled to me. He never once acted like he cared about me beyond being his best friend's little sister.” 

“I suppose you’re right, it’s hard to forgive 400 years of cruel behavior,” Lucien muttered, still staring at that little spot on the floor. 

I strode across the room and leaned against the couch with him. I wanted to say something, anything to break the silence. But it was as if all the air had been sucked from the room in one foul swoop. I had just let out a 400 year old secret and for the first time ever, our mates seemed to give a damn about us. I look to Lucien who is still processing everything and I recall how Elain was so upset to see her mate with another female.

“Elain…” I started, wanting to tread carefully. “She seemed pretty upset,” I said, only stating the obvious. 

Lucien chuckled, “Yeah, I think that’s the first time she’s ever called me her mate.” 

“And how do you feel about that?” I ask wanting to give him the same room to speak that he gave me. I knew if he didn’t feel like sharing he wouldn’t, Lucien was no pushover. 

“I feel strangely happy,” he says and for the first time since we got back his lip curls into a half smile. “I think that she might be willing to give me a chance.” 

My heart warms at the idea of Lucien finally getting to have a chance with his true mate, “I’m really happy for you Lu,” I smile, patting his hand that sat on the back of the couch. 

He snaps out of his trance, “that’s not to say that you’re not- you’re a wonderful woman y/n-” he rambles. 

“Hey, HEY!” I shout getting his attention. “I’m happy for you Lucien. You deserve this,” I laugh at his attempt to not hurt my feelings. 

“Thank you y/n,” he smiles, grabbing my hands and squeezing them. 

“What do we do now though,” I sigh looking at his family ring on my finger. 

His eyes flit to the ring as well as his thumb brushes over it, “We continue on as normal, we can push back the wedding. I’m not confident in what Elain wants from me at this point and you clearly are at odds with Azriel. If things don’t work out…” he trails off thinking about hsi next words. “If things don’t work out I would still be honored to have you as my wife. I still feel like we could make eachother happy.” he says earnestly. 

I look into his eyes of russet and gold and see that he truly means every word, “Okay,” I nod my voice barely above a whisper. 

“Okay,” he agrees, keeping his voice down as well. “Shall we head to bed?” he asks. 

“We shall,” I laugh, following him up the stairs. 

That night we didn’t make love, we cuddled as normal though, but somehow even that felt wrong, now that the bond I prayed over for so long hummed within my chest.

 While the little High Lord in training was typically quite docile, he had just learned to crawl and had begun flapping his little wings, which meant trouble was becoming the new normal. Which is exactly what had happened today…

“Nyx no!” I shouted as he reached for a heavy book on one of the bookshelves, his tiny wings helping him to gain the extra inch or two of ground he needed. 

I grabbed him from underneath his shoulders and brought him into my arms, bouncing him on my hip as his eyes caught the shiny necklace I was wearing. His little hands grabbed at it and I figured it was better than a vase or another heavy book. 

“Just wait till he can actually fly,” Lucien chuckled, coming up behind me.

“That won’t be for quite a while thankfully,” I laugh, bouncing the babe up and down.

“Are you so sure about that? Cassian seems to already be giving him lessons.” he points out. 

“I don’t even want to think about a flying toddler,” I scoff and Lucien chuckles behind me. 

 He pressed a kiss to the top of my head and I could feel his lips curling into a smile.“You’re going to be a great mother one day” he admitted. 

“I’ve always wanted children,” I said and a beat of silence passed until I decided to be bold. “Lu, do you think we could ever have children?” I ask, afraid to turn around and possibly see a wary look on his face.

I felt Lucien’s chuckle reverberate behind me, “Of course, I’ve always been fond of children myself,” he laughed. 

I whipped around with Nyx to search his eyes for a hint of uncertainty, but he seemed happy about the idea, “Really?” I asked in disbelief. 

“Of course,” he assured me. 

“I want a million just like little Nyx here,” I smile looking at the babe in my arms. 

“Minus the wings of course,” Lucien laughs behind me and I pause. 

My entire life I had always pictured my children with wings. Small, delicate little things that I would ‘ooo’ and ‘ahhh’ over.  I remembered seeing the Illyrian children in Windhaven growing up, I was always so happy when mothers would let me hold their babies, their wings so adorably small. I looked forward to having winged children of my own, I always pictured them scaling Azriel when they were little like Nyx, and as they got older I would watch as Az taught them to fly.

“What is it my dear?” Lucien asked, breaking me out of my trance. 

“Oh it’s nothing, it’s just that when I pictured my children I always figured they would have wings,” I say, pressing a kiss to Nyx’s temple. 

As if summoned, Azriel walked in, Rhys and Feyre in tow, signaling that their meeting was over. His eyes flitted to me, no doubt having heard what I had said. Lucien’s hand tightened on my hip.

Feyre’s eyes sparkled at the sight of her son and Rhys eyes sparkled at the sight of Feyre taking their babe from my arms. I reluctantly gave Nyx back, already missing being able to pretend he was my own. 

“He was a little angel,” I report to Feyre.

“If by angel you mean hellion,” Lucien chuckles behind me. 

“I would expect nothing less from a child raised by this family,” Rhys laughed, wrapping one arm around Feyre and brushing a hand against his son’s cherub cheeks. 

A silence rolled over the room as we all watched the little family reunite. I couldn’t help but flit my eyes to Azriel, who looked at them with a grin and a longing in his eyes. His eyes find me and I don’t dare look away. 

“Can we talk?” Azriel asked timidly, taking a step away from the doorway he leaned against. Feyre and Rhys take out of the room, no doubt feeling the change in the atmosphere.  

I searched his eyes for a hint of aggression but all I found was remorse, “Yes we may,” I say quietly.

Lucien releases his grip on my hip as I follow Azriel into Rhysand’s study and close the door behind me with a resolute click signaling that I was locked in here with him. Az takes up residence by Rhys’ desk, leaning against it like some sort of tortured man. I couldn’t help but notice he was still in his fighting leathers, his wings tucked in tight and his knuckles perched over his lips, like he was contemplating what to say. Even now, when he was at his most vulnerable, he was so beautiful. 

“I’m sorry for the way I acted last night. I yelled at you and I shouldn’t have,” he says fidgeting a bit. “Its just… it’s just that I was so pissed when I found him with his hands all over you and you just seemed so happy.” 

He sighs running a hand through his hair staring at the ground, still unable to meet my eyes. 

“I think that’s what bothered me the most,” he continues. “You seemed…happy.”

“You were upset because I was happy?” I scoff furrowing my brows at him, the fucking gall of this male. 

“No, no! Gods y/n,” he corrects me, running his hands down his face clearly upset with himself. “I think I was upset because I wasn’t the one making you happy.” he finally says and I can hear the vulnerability in his voice. 

I’m completely taken back by his words, at the fact that he admitted that he wanted to be the one to make me happy like that. The way Lucien did. It didn’t make any sense, given the fact that he never showed me in the last 400 years. 

“That’s funny coming from a male who’s been complaining to me about the females he’s been in love with for the past 400 years.” I deadpan, crossing my arms. 

“Is that how long you’ve known? 400 years?” he asked me, voice rising a bit. 

I nod, “I knew the night you danced with me on solistance in the Hewn City all those years ago,” I confess. 

“Fuck y/n,” he groans running his hands down his face. “Why didn’t you tell me?” 

“Because you started panting after Mor and the second you gave up on her in walked Elain!” I shouted, it was the most obvious thing ever as to why I didn’t tell him. 

“You had to know that you were first,” he says, snapping his head up to meet mine, pleading in those hazel eyes. 

I gave him a blank stare not knowing what he was talking about. 

“Please tell me you know you were the first, before Mor, before Elain, I was practically on my knees for you,” he confessed. 

Once again I’m left speechless. Could it be true? That he had wanted me before I even knew about the bond? 

I shook my head, even if it was true he was speaking in past tense. I didn’t want him to be my mate because he felt like he had to be, I wanted him to love me, truly love me. I wanted him to choose me.

“I had no idea,” I admit feeling a bit of shame. “But that doesn’t matter anymore, it’s all in the past. I’m not mad at you Azriel.” 

“Thank the cauldron,” he breathes, crossing the room to cup my face.

I place my  hands on his wrists and pull them away from me, “Az I think that you should be with Elain,” I say, stepping back from him. 

“What? No.” he shakes his head and I take another step back.

“You clearly love her and she loves you, the cauldron made a mistake by making us mates, it's as simple as that,” I say trying to hide my tears.

I loved Az, a part of me always would, but I wouldn’t be his consolation prize just because the cauldron fucked up and made me his mate instead of Elain. I couldn’t live with that. 

“No don’t say that, please don’t say that,” Az pleads, his voice softening. 

“I’m sorry Azriel but I won’t be your consolation prize,” I say before grabbing the door handle and walking out into the living room where Lucien was. 

Azriel goes to say more until he hears the hitch in my breath. There, before me, Lucien is tucking a stray hair out of Elain’s face and placing a kiss on her knuckles. A sweet gesture, one I’ve probably read about a thousand times in my romance novels. Lucien’s eyes flit to mine, and I can honestly say I’ve never seen him so happy. 

“We’re going to give it a shot,” he smiles happily, putting an arm around Elain. 

“Really?” I ask looking to Elain who smiles brightly. 

“Yeah we are,” she says smiling up at Lucien. 

“Oh I’m so happy for you two,” I cheer before engulfing them both in a hug. 

“Congrats you guys,” Azriel mutters from behind me, seemingly abandoning whatever he was going to say to me in favor of praising his friends. 

Lucien chuckles at my excitement, “Don’t get too excited, we’re going to have to move my stuff out of your place today, I think it’s time I move back into the townhouse,” he smiled. 

“Well what are we waiting for? Let’s get started!” I cheer, grabbing his hands to winnow us away. 

In reality I wasn’t excited about the idea of moving, and much less excited about the idea of my little townhouse being empty again. But I needed to get away from Azriel. 

One week later:

After the all day affair of moving Lucien’s accumulated stuff out of my house and in the townhouse I was back to loving alone. Which at first wasn’t terrible. I was content to read my book and cook for myself when necessary. But after about a week I began to miss the food Lucien would make, or having someone to lie next to. It was a strange feeling, it felt like a breakup, but I wasn’t sad. I missed having another heartbeat in the house, not Lucien himself. 

After a week of getting my affairs in order my brother finally asked me for some help and I was thankful for the distraction. All week I had been in my own head about all that had happened, with Lu and Elain, with me and Az. I needed a break to think of something else. 

That’s how I found myself slipping on an old day court dress and getting ready to winnow to see Helion, an old friend of mine. I was leaving the house and locking the door when I ran smack into a large chest I screamed being taken off guard. 

“Sorry I didn’t mean to scare you,” a familiar voice apologized, I turn to find Azriel standing before me. 

“It’s okay, I should’ve been paying more attention,” I chuckle awkwardly. I hadn’t heard from the spymaster in a week, why would he come to talk to me now?    

Azriel’s eyes furrow from where they tower over me, “Why are you dressed for the Day Court?” he inquires. 

“Oh well,” I look down at the swaths of white fabric that cascaded down my body, suddenly feeling a bit exposed from off the shoulder dress. “Rhys wants me to go and schmooze Helion a little bit. Something about wanting to get him to agree to better trade deals.” I laugh remembering how my brother agonized over it the other day. 

“So he wants you to go and flirt with Helion?” Az cocks an eyebrow at me. 

“Well Helion and I go way back, and he’s always been…well keen on me.” I say honestly and I watch as Az bristles just a bit. I can’t even count the number of times the High Lord as tired to get Cassian and I in his bed

“I’ll give Rhys one thing he sure is ruthless,” Azriel chuckles trying to play off his nerves. 

“Is there something I can do for you?” I ask, still wondering why he’s here, at my doorstep. 

“Oh uh, no,” Azriel stutters. “Well actually I was walking by and I saw this and I thought of you.” he says pulling out a white rose. It looked like he had plucked it right off the bush down the street. “I thought you should have it.” he finished. 

I take the rose from his hand and notice that the thorns have all been cut off. I eye Truth Teller strapped at his side and the lingering thorn that was still stuck on its sharp blade. 

“That was very thoughtful of you Az thank you,” I tell him sweetly, taken back by his gesture. 

“You’re welcome,” he says, seemingly relaxing at my acceptance of his gift. 

I check my watch, “Well I really do have to go, Helion is waiting for me,” I wince moving past him on the stairs so I can get past the words my brother has on my place. 

“Yes of course,” Az says following me down the steps and out the wrought iron fence. “Do you need a ride?” 

“I’m okay, I can winnow,” I chuckle, closing the gate behind me. 

“Well I guess I’ll see you later then,” Azriel voices with a hint of a sigh. 

“Yeah I’m sure you will,” I reply before winnowing into Helion’s mansion. 

How could Az be so calm about all this? It was like he was trying to force himself to have feelings for me, figuring he better learn to love me now that he’s shackled to me for eternity. Part of me wondered if Rhys had given him a firm talking to and convinced him to attempt to like me.

“There she is,” Helion mused from the top of the stairs coming down the stairs dressed in his usual attire. Part of me hated that I found him attractive, in another life, if he wasn’t so promiscuous, I might’ve seen myself standing by his side. 

“Helion,” I smile, pulling him in for a hug. 

When we pull away his hands linger at my waist and his eyes look at the rose in my hand. “What’s this?” he asks plucking the rose from my hand. 

I think about the encounter with Azriel, how forced it all felt.

“It’s nothing,” I replied, shrugging my shoulders. 

Helion tosses the flower aside before throwing his arm over my shoulder and leading me inside, “So, your brother has sent you to convince me to agree to his new trade agreements.” he smirks.

“He’s done nothing of the sort, I came to visit an old friend of my own accord,” I tease, knowing Helion isn’t as daft as Rhys makes him out to be. 

“We’ll see about that new treaty after some wine, and tell your brother that next time he wants to use you against me as leverage he should just send you naked,” Helion chuckles. 

I erupt in laughter, slapping his arm as he leads us to a white couch with a bottle of wine sitting on the coffee table. 

Three days later after successfully getting Helion to agree to a new trade treaty I found myself sitting in my living room with a glass of wine enjoying the fruits of my labors. As soon as I told Rhys about the High Lord of Day’s cooperation he sent me one of his finest bottles of wine as a thank you. Not that I required any thanks, I enjoyed spending time with Helion. 

My silence was interrupted by my door opening and closing. I just about jumped out of my skin, the only one who had the key to the place was Lucien and he had given it back a long time ago. My heart pounded as I stood from the couch in my nightgown and robe. I had turned in for the night and certainly wasn’t expecting visitors. I lift my romance novel over my head and step around he couch ready to swing when I see Azriel locking the door behind him quietly. 

“Azriel you scared the hell out of me,” I sigh, lowering the book. 

He turns from the door looking me up and down taking in my casual attire hungrily. “I’m sorry I guess I’m just used to walking right in, I wanted to give you these,” he says holding out a large bouquet of white roses, exactly like the kind he gave me the other day.”

“Thank you Az, they’re beautiful,” I say wearily, taking them from his scarred hands. “I’ll uh- I’ll just put them in water,” I tell him, padding into the kitchen to grab a vase and fill it. 

“I thought since you liked the other one I gave you that you might like those ones too,” he says walking into the kitchen and leaning in my doorway. 

I place the two dozen roses in a vase,“Well I appreciate them, it’s been a while since I’ve had fresh flowers in the house,” I divulge to him, remembering how Lucien used to bring them home all the time. He would always ask for Elain to make him a bouquet, his little way of speaking to her in a way that didn’t make her uncomfortable. The thought had me thinking of how Lucien and Elain were probably sitting at a nice dinner right now, had me questioning why the fuck Azriel was here. 

A silence fills the room as Azriel sits admiring either me or the flowers, from where I’m standing it could be either or. I walk around the kitchen island to test the theory and sure enough his eyes follow me as I lean my back against the side closer to him.  A wave of embarrassment slips over me. Did Rhys ask him to bring more flowers again? Was I really that pathetic? 

“Az why are you doing this?” I ask, gesturing to the flowers behind me. 

Azriel straightens taking a tentative step towards me, “Because I want what Elain and Lucien have. I want you to give me a chance to be a good mate,” he says softly. 

I look to the wooden floors below me, my bare feet messing with a loose floorboard, “You don’t have to do this Azriel. If Rhys sent you I’ll just cover for you and say you came.” I say not daring to look at him. 

“I’m not here because of Rhys, I’m here because I want to see you,” he implored and I heard his feet shuffle closer. 

“I’m still not your consolation prize just because Lucien and Elain are doing well. I won’t do that to myself,” I say, continuing to mess with the loose floorboard. 

“You’re not my consolation prize y/n, you’re my mate.” Azriel states, his voice becoming more urgent causing me to tighten my arms around myself ever so slightly. 

His boots come into my line of sight and suddenly he’s titling my chin up to meet his pleading gaze. I’m suddenly all too aware of how underdressed I was. There was a time when I would’ve killed for this. But now? I won’t let myself be hurt again.

“Y/n please-” 

“Azriel I’m at peace,” I snap, cutting him off and looking down at our feet once again even though his hand still rested under my chin. “For the first time in 400 years I’m at peace. I have loved, and pined, and thrown myself at your feet for 400 years, and I am finally happy in my exile. So forgive me if I’m hesitant to give that up so quickly because you all of the sudden want a mate.” I bit out.

His shadows dance around my hands and I move my fingers out of their grasp, like their cold kiss was burning me.I wait for him to say something back, for him to breathe wrong, yell at me or leave but he doesn’t move. I let my eyes flit up to his, and I find him staring down at me, like he’s been waiting for me to look at him this whole time. 

“I’m not going to give up,” he states, if he was sad or upset by my previous words he doesn’t show it. 

I sigh, tossing my head back, “Az please,” I beg. 

“No I’m serious, I’m not giving up on you, on us,” he maintained steadfastly, his hands not leaving my cheek as he steps even closer to me and my back hits the cool granite behind me. 

“Azriel I think you should go,” I grit out, the second my body stiffens under his he steps back giving me my space. 

“Alright I’ll go,” he says, taking a step back.

I follow him to the door and hold it open as he steps out into the cool night air that has me wrapping my silk robe around me tighter, as if it was helping anything anyways. 

“I’ll see you tomorrow,” he assures me before shooting off into the sky. 

“I really wish you wouldn’t!” I shout into the air after him before slamming the door and locking it. 

I take a deep breath once I’m seated on my couch again, trying to salvage any sort of peace I might still have. But that tranquility was disappearing in my hands the more I chased it. 

The following day I head to Rhys’ house to talk over the new adjustments in the Day Court trade agreements. It was supposed to be easy enough, but as things got more and more complex it ended up being an all day thing. By the time I walked up the steps to my own townhouse I was exhausted and starving. I wasn’t looking forward to bread for dinner as I had no time to go to the market today. 

I kicked open the door and locked it behind me, the smell of fresh tomatoes and basil wafted through the air causing me to pause in my tracks. Was Lucien here? Had him and Elain gotten in a fight or something?

“Ah shit!” I heard a male cuss followed by the searing of liquid on a burner. 

I curiously walk around the corner of the kitchen where I’m greeted with the sight of Azriel, standing in my apron, reading my cookbook and stirring some sort of sauce. His shadows were helping him turn the pages of the book. I see the spilled sauce on the burner that was the cause of his profanity just moments ago. 

“There you are,” he smirked, his eyes flitting up to mine before reading the book again. 

“Az what are you doing here?” I ask, setting my bag down on the table. 

“Making you dinner,” he said, gesturing to the numerous used pans and utensils lying around my once clean kitchen. 

I walk over to inspect what he’s cooking. Fresh herb crusted chicken cooks in the pan next to him while he stirs a red sauce. In the sink is cooked pasta sitting next to freshly sauteed green beans. I inhale the smell of the food deeply and I can’t help but feel myself salivate a little, it smells delicious. 

“You always dog ear the recipes you want to try but you never make them for fear of not liking them,” he says nonchalantly as he prods at the chicken. 

I look down at the cookbook he’s reading, sure enough the recipe he’s making has a bent corner. I had been itching to try it but had never found the time. 

“If you end up not liking it there’s take out from Rita’s in the ice box,” he said using the spoon to point to the ice box in the corner of the room.

I look up to fully inspect him. This all feels like a ridiculous practical joke. If someone had told me that my spymaster would be cooking me dinner I would’ve laughed in their face. Upon further inspection I realize he’s shirtless, save for my apron he’s wearing. 

“Was the half nudity necessary?” I cock an eyebrow leaning against the counter. 

Azriel barked out a laugh, “It took me a while to find the apron, I had gotten tomato juice on my shirt when I started chopping them up for the sauce so I took it off and washed it,” he explained the corner of his mouth turning up in a smirk. “Plus I figured the whole shirtless bit might win me more brownie points with you.” 

I rolled my eyes at his cockiness, I didn’t dare let him know how right he was. 

He laughed at my reaction, “Why don’t you go sit down, dinner’s almost ready.” he said gesturing to the couch. 

I shrugged my shoulders and padded my way over to my favorite reading spot. The one he found me in yesterday. I plop down on the velvet sofa and there in front of me on the coffee table, my book has been left open to the place I bookmarked and a glass of wine sits for me. I raise an eyebrow but decide to just roll with it, I pick up the book and sip on the wine, becoming engrossed with the story.

A few minutes later I feel the cold begin to bite at my toes. I look around for a blanket and see that the nearest one is across the room. I curse at the idea of having to move, but before I can even set my book down one of Azriel’s shadows is scurrying across the room to retrieve the knitted blanket for me. The wisp of darkness arranges the blanket neatly over my legs, tucking me in like a mother would her child.  I can’t help but laugh at the care the little thing is putting into the job. 

Azriel’s shadows looking out for me was nothing new, the second the bond clicked for me they tended to stay near me. Picking up pens and silverware I dropped on the floor and always twirling around my hair and wrists. There were even times they would try to drag Az near me, like on starfall and solstice, nights I looked especially beautiful. But he would always curse and wave them off until they left him alone. 

The little shadow perched itself on my shoulder as if it too wanted to read my book. I could sense it was trying to anticipate any other small need I might have. 

“You know he might be insufferable but you guys are pretty great,” I laugh looking at the curious being. 

In response the shadow boops itself on my nose as if it was giving me a kiss. 

“Don’t tell them that or they’ll get a big head,” Azriel murmurs behind me where he’s leaning against the doorway between the living room and the kitchen, still shirtless and wearing that damned apron.

“In that case I’ll be sure to praise them more often, they’re little angels,” I smile as the tendril of darkness dances around my collar. 

Azriel lets out a small chuckle behind me, “Dinner is ready,” he tells me before disappearing into the kitchen once more. 

I follow him as the small shadow frantically pulls at my wrist towards the table, as if it’s eager for me to see what it helped its master cook. When I walk into the darkened kitchen and find that Az has set the table not only with our dinner but with candles and another bouquet. This time it’s an arrangement of jasmine, no doubt from the florist down the street. 

I sit down and inhale the heavenly scent of the white flowers and hum in delight. Azriel comes in with a bottle of wine and two glasses, pouring us each a bit. He sees me admiring the flowers and smiles. 

“Jasmine, like your perfume,” he says, putting down the bottle and taking his seat next to me. 

I smile and look down at the plate before me. It looks delicious, the pasta is fragrant with basil, the chicken is cooked to perfection and the green beans are vibrant and green. I lift my fork and dig into the past first. The moment it hits my tongue the flavor melts in my mouth, rich, bold and oh so savory. I let out a moan as my eyes flit to Azriel who is watching me expectantly wondering if I’m going to like it or not. 

“This is incredible,” I say, covering my mouth with my hand so he doesn’t see me chewing. 

“Thank the cauldron I thought I put too much red pepper in,” he breathes out, seemingly relaxing before digging into his own plate. 

“No it’s perfect, thank you really,” I say earnestly. 

“You’re welcome,” he smiled, taking a bite of chicken.

We sit and eat our meals in silence simply enjoying the good food. A little shadow flitted up in front of my face to gauge my reaction to the bite of chicken I was chewing. I couldn’t help but laugh as it shifted like it was cocking its head at me. 

“Yes it’s very good, you did a wonderful job,” I laugh at the little fella. 

My giggle brings Azriel’s attention to me once again and before I know it he’s waving his hand at the little tendril like he’s swatting a fly. 

“Hey go away let her eat for the love of god,” he chastises as the shadow slinks back behind him. 

“Don’t worry it wasn’t bothering me,” I laugh taking another bite of green beans. 

“Yeah well they haven’t been listening lately,” he says looking back at the little shadow that had slinked behind his shoulder like a reprimanded child. 

I shake my head at the two of them interacting and take another sip of wine. To be honest I wasn;t really sure what to say to Azriel. Despite his valiant efforts to win me I still wasn’t ready to abandon the peace I had grown so fond of. 

“You know it’s funny,” he tells me, playing with the food on his plate. “I feel like my shadows have always liked you. It was like they knew before I did,” he laughed nervously at his confession. 

“Maybe so,” I shrug, not wanting to broach the subject, the friendlier we could make this the better.

“I can remember times when they would drag me into any room that had you in it. Most of the time I control them, but when it comes to you? They control me.” he laughs while taking a sip of his wine. 

“Thank you again for dinner,” I say, forcibly changing the topic of conversation. “It’s been a while since I had a home cooked meal. I think the local restaurants have my to-go orders memorized now.” I laugh. 

“Lucein used to cook for you didn’t he?” Azriel asks, and I can feel his eyes burning into the side of my head as I play with the pasta on my plate. 

“Yeah he did, he was a surprisingly good cook too,” I say, recalling the traditional Autumn Court meals he would cook all the time. They were mostly for him, for when he was feeling nostalgic, but he always left some for me as well. 

Azriel sits for a moment as if debating whether or not to say something for a moment. “Did you love him?” he asks. 

My fork clatters to the plate at the abrupt question and I’ve never felt so put on the spot. It was never something I had thought about in regards to the autumn court male. Love seemed like an emotion  that would be reserved for Azriel and Azriel alone, until one day it wasn’t. I didn’t love Lucien, but I certainly stopped loving Az in that way, or at least I think I did.

“No I didn’t” I say honestly turning to meet the shadowsingers gaze. “Lucien and I… it was never like that. We both knew what we needed for each other, it started as just sex. But then he would stay the night, and then we started going to breakfast. His shirts started showing up in the laundry hamper, his books on the coffee table. Eventually I just gave him a key, it seemed like the logical thing to do. We didn’t even label our relationship until he asked me to marry him.” 

“I wasn’t sure,” Azriel said, going back to shyly staring down at the table. “I overheard your conversation that one day. When you asked him about the possibility of having children. You said that you always pictured your children having wings, was that true?” he inquired. 

I nod shallowly, unable to trust my own words in such a raw moment. 

If Az had any other questions he didn’t ask them or press me to talk about the two of us, it was as if he was happy with the answers I did give him. He was perfectly content to let me finish eating my meal in comfortable silence. When I was finished he cleared the table and didn’t let me lift a finger to help clean. Instead those pesky shadows cornered me into reading my book once more. 

It wasn’t until a few minutes later that he came in, dressed in his shirt once more to bid me goodnight. He insisted that I stay in my comfortable spot by the couch as he walked himself out locking the door behind him. As the comfortable silence, which I had grown so used to, ensued, I found myself silently wishing he had stayed just a little longer.

The following weeks were spent with little visits from shadows and shadowsingers. Sometimes it would be Azriel showing up at my door with coffee or gifts. Other times, when Rhys had Azriel on missions he would find ways to leave things at my doorstep. The first time it was another bouquet of flowers and then chocolates. 

My favorite gift from Azriel had been the books. The first set he got me was the second and third book in my series. They appeared at my door the morning after he made me dinner with a note that read…

I noticed that you were almost done with your book last night so I went out to get you the second book. I noticed it was a short book so I got you the third in case you finished it in one day like you no doubt will. 

-Azriel

Of course he was right and I finished the second book by the end of the day. When I opened the third, and much longer book, to begin reading it a bookmark fell out and another note. 

I figured you might need a bookmark for this one.

-Azriel

He was right about that as well. 

The next book to be delivered was a classic romance with certain pages, and quotes underlined. His notes scribbled in the margins. Clearly he had taken the time to read the novel himself. When I saw the first annotation I expected his further notes to be corny or cheesy, but each one was well thought out. 

The most recent literally delivery was a small and short book about different types of flowers. Between each of the pages sat a live flower that corresponded with the page. It was possibly the most vibrant and beautiful bouquet I had ever seen and by far my favorite floral gift I had received. 

This week though things had been different. As the colder months were drifting in I started spending more time inside, reading by the fire. But not once had Azriel stopped by. Not a present, not a note to be found. When I subtly asked Rhys were the shadowsinger was he told me he was in the isle of Hybern. 

A week had come and gone without so much as a tendril of a shadow to be seen. I sat infront of my roaring fire with a book in hand trying to escape the bitter cold. Outside the first snowfall of the year had taken the form of a blizzard. I pitied the shopkeepers that would have to walk home in it. 

Around midnight I heard the scraping of metal against stone from outside my house. I jumped out of my skin and quickly looked at the clock noting the late hour. I set down my novel to wrap myself in a blanket and pad over to the front door. I could already hear the winds outside and feel the cold air seeping in through the cracks in the door. 

I open the door to investigate the strange sound and I nearly gasp when I find Azriel outside my house shoveling my walkway with a small shovel from my garden. One meant for digging out plants and trees, not snow. 

“Az what are you doing?” I ask, making the spymaster jump a bit. 

“I’m shoveling your walkway. I didn’t want you to slip tomorrow morning or hurt your back trying to shovel it yourself,” he said, digging into the snow again with the little metal shovel. 

“Oh Az you don’t have to do that,” I coo walking out into the cold pulling my blanket tighter. 

“I don’t have to but I want to,” he said shoveling more snow. “It wouldn’t take so long if I had a bigger shovel.” he grunts, frustrated.

“Well why didn’t you take Rhys’ shovel?” I laughed watching as the overgrown Illyrain tried to mangle the tiny thing. 

“Well I just got back from Hybern, I saw it had snowed and I came here first.” he explained and my heart swelled. He had come to my place first before he even went home. “I figured if I didn’t do it you would fall and break your head open.” 

“Azriel, really you don’t have to do this, I can handle it,” I plead with him feeling bad that he’s subjected himself to the weather. 

He stops his shoveling and turns to look at me, “y/n I want to do this. Don’t worry about it.” he says before looking me up in down seeing that I’m in nothing but a short nightgown and a blanket. “Now go inside before you catch a cold.” 

“Me? What about you?” I laugh looking around at the snow falling around us. 

“I’m Illyrian the snow doesn’t bother me,” he retorts and I can tell that he’s lying by the pink in his cheeks from the cold.

“Well I’m half Illyrian,” I counter, swinging back and forth on my heels. 

“Then I’m sure half of you is really cold,” he rebuttals. “Now go back inside and get warm before I carry you inside myself.” he smirks before shoveling up another heap of snow. 

I just shake my head and retreat to the warm fireplace awaiting me. 

I waltz into the House of Wind  where the Solstice party is in full swing. Lords from neighboring courts are chatting and drinking all around and from the corner of the room I can hear Cassian’s booming laugher as he doubles over at something Helion has said. 

Like almost every solstice party I arrive fashionably late. I truly never mean to be the last to arrive, but it feels like the whole guest list decides to arrive early just to spite me. I make my way around the area where couples and children are dancing to a small quartet and head toward the bar. My dress billows behind me like liquid starlight. Just like every solstice party before this one, I will get by with copious amounts of wine. 

I lean against the bar and watch as Elain and Lucien laugh and giggle across the room. I smile as Elain pops a pastry into Lu’s mouth and I can’t help but feel a warmness in my chest at the two of them. Lucien was finally happy with his mate, and if there was ever someone who deserved such happiness it was him. 

My thoughts are interrupted by a shadowy friend making its presence known. Flying up by my face to say hello and then rushing behind me as if it was called. I turn to see Azriel dressed immaculately staring at me. His eyes flit up and down my body taking in every detail of me.

“You look…” He trails off, shaking his head, as if the words he was going to say wouldn’t be the right ones. “There are no words. Even the poets would get it wrong.”

I can’t help but blush at his choice of words, taking a step toward him as the shadows behind me are pushing me to do so. 

“You clean up pretty good yourself, spymaster,” I chuckle giving him a once over.

He blushes and then speaks again, “I mean it, you look beautiful tonight y/n.” 

I blush again and turn my head to avoid his gaze, like that shade of hazel might burn me from the inside out if I look too long.

“You must allow me to dance with you,” he says, taking both our drinks and placing them on the bar. “Not having you out on that dance floor would be a disservice to everyone here.”

I laugh taking his outstretched hand and allowing him to lead me to the dancefloor, “Alright Az you’ve convinced me, but only because I know you won’t step on my feet,” 

We fall into a comfortable motion, swaying back and forth to the slow tempoed song the quartet is playing. The couples around us filter around us, some lost in deep conversation, some embraced closely swaying to the song. I keep my eyes on them, knowing that Azriel’s gaze is on me. 

Memories of a solstice much like this one float through my mind. The way my feet ached before Azriel saved me, sweeping me up into a dance. The way the bond felt when it snapped into place for me. I had pulled on it so desperately hoping he might feel it too. I thought of all the years of agony that followed that night. Watching Az fall for Mor and later on Elain. Hearing my brother and Cassian talking about Azriel’s exploits in bedding local women. All of it tore me apart and it took over 200 years to rebuild the part of me that I had lost. I wondered if I would ever be whole like that again. 

I hear Elain and Lucien’s laughter once more, the sound breaking me from my thoughts as Azriel and I continue to sway to the music. 

“They make a great couple,” Azriel’s deep voice rumbles through me. 

I smile watching Lucine place a kiss to his mates lips, “They really do,” I say with a lightness to my voice. 

“Do you think we’ll ever be like that?” He asks tentatively and my world comes crashing down. 

“Az,” I say and his face falls at the dismissal in my tone. 

“Why not y/n? Why can’t we have a shot like they can?” Azriel says starting to get upset.

As if on queue the song that the quartet is playing ends and I hear the musicians flipping through their sheet music to find the next song. I pull my hands out of Azriel’s and take a few steps back.

“I think it’s time for me to go,” I say calmly, trying not to let the damn of tears break. I swiftly move past him towards the door. 

“Y/n wait!” I hear him call out behind me but I’m already out the door, my tears falling down my face as I make my way back to that empty townhouse in the middle of the city. 

The rain outside my house slams into the window violently. Spring has come early in Velaris and I wasn’t exactly upset about it. At least I wasn’t until this torrential downpour blew into town. I hadn’t seen rain like this in the Night Court for at least a hundred years now.

It’s been weeks since solstice and it seems that Azriel has finally taken the hint and left me alone. I hadn’t heard a peep from him since that dance. Not a flower, chocolate or shadow to be seen and while I should be happy about it I had never been sadder. After all the walls I put up trying to keep my peace it seemed that he had succeeded in breaking them down again. 

I sat by the fire staring down at the dancing flames, no book, not even a glass of wine or tea. Just me and my all consuming thoughts. Each one of them led back to hazel eyes and blue siphons. 

I jump at the sound of a fist pounding on my door. Pulling my sweater tighter to cover up my nightgown I walk over to investigate who would have the guts to stand out in this monsoon at this hour. When I open the door I find Azriel bracing his arms against the doorframe, out of breath like he ran here. His hair soaking wet and sticking to his brow as the rain pelted him. 

“Az?” I shout over the sound of rain. 

“I can’t go on like this any longer y/n, I won’t do it!” he shouts over the storm. 

“Az it’s pouring what are you-” 

“I love you y/n!” he shouts stopping me mid sentence. “From the moment I met you I knew. I wanted so badly to put my hands around your waist and kiss you. And if you’re wondering why that seems like such an adolescent dream it’s because that’s what we both were. I was 117 years old and  you were 115 and that’s all I wanted. I knew little of love, even less of lust. All I knew was that I wanted to kiss you,” he hollers over the sound of rain wiping the water from his eyes.

“I’ve made mistakes, and I’ve hurt you, but I swear to you I will spend the rest of my life trying to make it up to you, because I love you. And I don’t care that you don’t love me too, because I love you y/n. I choose to love you!” he finishes and I can’t tell if it's rain falling from his eyes or tears that match my own. 

I choose to love you.

I take a shaky breath and take in the sheer desperation on his face, “I love you too Azriel,” I laugh feeling another tear slip down my cheek. 

He doesn’t waste a moment, stepping through my threshold and cupping my cheek to place a searing kiss on my lips. I melt into him, feeling his clothes soaking my own as my nightgown clings to my skin. His hands are on my waist, scarred and cold from the elements but still so intoxicating. My arms wrap around him pulling him further into the entryway. I hear him slam the door shut with his boot drowning out the sound of rain leaving only the music of our ragged breaths as he kisses me deeper. 

He pulls away to press his forehead to mine, his wet hair and skin causing drops of water to cascade down my own face. 

“I love you so much,” he breathes cupping my cheek to press a chaste kiss to my lips. “My mate.”

I pull him in deeper at the utterance of those two little words. I had waited 400 years for this male to kiss me, and this kiss right here? Well it made everything all the more worth it. 

Epilogue: 5 years later

I stand outside on the lawn of the townhouse. My arms clutching around the sweater I’m wearing as the fresh spring air blows over my skin. My hands drift lower to the small bump of my stomach. 

I was only a few months pregnant and barely starting to show. Elain had told me that it would be a girl claiming she had seen it in a vision. I couldn’t have been more excited for Azriel to be a girl dad. 

“You’re doing it son!” I hear my mate call from the sky where he teaches our son to fly. 

“Dad, I'm flying!” the onyx haired child shouted as he flapped his wings to pick up some speed.

At first I was apprehensive of him learning to fly so early, even though it had always been a dream of mine to watch my children learn to fly. But Azriel had assured me that the youngster was more than ready, and after a few weeks of lessons here he was taking to the air like a natural. 

I look around at the townhouse behind me. It had seen some significant changes since the night Azriel stood in the rain and told me he loved me. The front yard was littered with toy swords and shields, and the outside had a fresh coat of paint. The inside had a room addition, a room for our son, Kai, and now we're adding another room for our daughter. All paid for by Rhys of course who was more than happy to give his nephew and niece everything under the sun.

My thoughts are interrupted by Azriel slamming into the ground before me. I turn to see him walking over to me with a smile on his face. 

“Az shouldn’t you be up there with him?!” I fuss looking to where our son swoops and dives through the air. 

Azriel laughs and picks me up bridal style, pressing a kiss to my lips. 

“It didn’t feel right being up there without my girls,” he smiled nodding to my bump. 

Without warning he took off into the sky meeting Kai up there. We must’ve spent hours flying around the city, stopping by every uncle and aunt's house to show them Kai’s new skill. Everything was perfect, and for the first time in my whole life, I finally knew peace.

(Do you guys want a smutty bonus chapter of what they did after he confessed his love???)

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[looseratinthegarage]

Slashers S/O getting their period. Maybe?

I haven’t done a request in so long- but I’m on my period rn and felt inspired to write this! Enjoy to anyone who still follows me after my many disappearances.

S/O getting their period

Michael

Michael notices everything. And I mean everything. You’ve been more irritable lately but he hasn’t been able to deduce why… He enters the bathroom to use it when he sees strange wrappers in the trash. His first thought is that you’ve been hiding candy from him and he’s pissed. But when he unwraps it he sees a bloody pad/tampon. He stares through the item for a moment, trying to process what the hell is happening. He then throws it on the ground and stomps down stairs. You’re sitting on the couch playing the new Zelda Tears of the Kingdom game. He then takes the controller out of your hand and throws it to the side. He lifts up your shit and sifts through your hair for an injury or any blood.

“M-Michael!? What are you doing?” You say with surprise. He then grabs your pants and takes them off, leaving you in your undergarments. He is able to see that you are wearing the same thing he found in the trash. I points and looks concerned

“I-I’m just on my period! I’m fine..” You blush heavily and reassure your boyfriend that you’re not dying.

He doesn’t know what to do. His mom taught him about this stuff when he was a boy, but he only knows the basics. He’ll at first not understand why you’re being so ‘dramatic’ about everything. But when he realizes it really does hurt, he’ll try to help you, in his own little Michael way of course.

Thomas

Thomas wakes up for the day and stretches his arms. He feels something wet in the bed next to him. He lifts his hand and sees blood. He instantly panics and looks down at you. He rips the covers off of you and sees a large red stain underneath you. He shakes you awake.

“Huh- what? Baby, is there something wrong…?” You say half asleep. He points to the stain and your stomach drops.

“Oh god I’m so sorry Thomas! I’ve been trying to use cloth for my period because we don’t have pads/tampons- oh and now I’ve stained your sheets..” You look apologetic and absolutely mortified. But as soon as he hears ‘period’ he relaxes. His mama raised him right, so he doesn’t make you feel bad about leaking on the bed.

He picks you up and takes you to the bathroom. He runs you a warm bath and puts bubbles in it. He kisses your forehead then walks back into his room. He takes off the sheets and brings them outside to be washed.

Throughout the day he checks on you, often getting yelled at Hoyt for ‘slacking off’. He brings you teas, chocolate, snacks, meals- anything you need. His hands are incredibly warm, so in the night he holds you close to him, putting his hand over your stomach, soothing the cramps.

Yautja

You and your mate were training. You were running obstacle courses, they’re mad for yautja so they’re different. Think ninja warrior stuff. While running and jumping and climbing your pad shifts in your underwear and the flood gates open. You have blood running down your leg, but you’re too focused to notice.. but your mate does. He looks concerned.

“Bleeding. Why?” He uses the least amount of English possible to convey himself.

“Huh?” You stop at one of the platforms and then feel it running down your leg. You look down and feel mortified as your period blood runs down your leg for all to see.

“O-Oh god… sorry about that..” You also notice you’ve gotten blood on the course. You cover your face in embarrassment as your mate walks up to you.

“Are you hurt?” He asks softly, putting his clawed hand on your shoulder.

“I-It’s just my period. It’s similar to the thing that happens to some yautja after the breeding season, if they haven’t gotten pregnant…” You say embarrassedly and a bit shyly.

“Very well.” He seems unphased by it, happy to know you’re not hurt and that it’s just a natural occurrence.

“Why are you hiding from me? Blood does not scare a warrior such as I.” He purrs and runs his finger down your bloody leg. He then brings it up to his mouth and licks it off with his tongue.

You blush and nod, hugging him. He gives you yautja natural remedies for your period. If you have extreme cramps or excessive bleeding he’ll use some medicine or even quick surgery to fix the problem. Don’t worry, yautja pain meds are a lifesaver. You practically feel nothing, just a little sore is all. He will take care of you the best he knows how, and don’t be afraid to give him pointers. He’ll take notes.

[aki-shun]

◈Stained Love◈ [M!Reader x YAN!OB!Malleus Draconia]

It’s hard to hit the submit button, not type this post 〒▽〒

Part-1「here」 Part-2

TW: somnophilia(?), some unauthorized things?? I don’t know what to write here but it’s not healthy （＾-＾) and no smut just little spicy…( a little?)

Sorry for bad grammar (English is not my first language)

Little lightning flashes around the island. The sounds of thunder echoed throughout the dorm. Ambiance was dark. A hum amongst the voices. The words of an old song. Bright lime green eyes scanned his surroundings. Lilia was lying on a bundle of thorn ivy next to his throne. Some of his limbs were wrapped in ivy. On the other side of the throne, Sebek and Silver were leaning against each other, and some of them had ivy on their limbs… Eyes wandered around the hall in front of the throne. All of his friends were surrounded by thorn ivy, but they still had a peaceful expression on their faces. After all, they were all living the dream of their happy ending right now. Happy endings that will last 1000 years. Finally, his eyes turned to you, who was asleep in his arms, unaware of everything. Unlike the others, you had a little more thorn ivy on your body. Parts of your clothing had been torn by thorns, leaving thin little red marks on the exposed skin.

He rubbed his cheek against your hair and inhaled your scent. Ahh, that unique scent that can change everything in the world, your scent. He brought his left hand to your cheek and stroked it lightly. He had always loved to feel your skin. To touch you, to feel you. He can do this forever. He can do anything with you forever…but then you

✶ ✧ · 𝕋𝕚𝕞𝕖 𝕊𝕜𝕚�� · ✧ ✶

I’m going home, Malleus.

What do you mean ‘you going home’?

I return to my world, to my true universe. My home.

𓆩✧•═𝕋𝕚𝕞𝕖 𝕊𝕜𝕚𝕡 𝔼𝕟𝕕═•✧𓆪

Why did you want to leave him? Why did you want to leave him alone in his coldness again? Don’t you know how lonely he is? Don’t you know how much he hates sitting alone in the cold? You know. How lonely he is. How much he hated it. How hard him tried just to make a friend.. And yet you wanted to leave him. With that smile that will make her heart beat fast. You said that to him with that smile of yours. You are really brave, aren’t you? You dared to think that after telling him that would let you go. You stupid human. Humans do tend to be really stupid. How pathetic that you are one of them. But it’s okay. He is here to guide you, to prevent you from doing things you shouldn’t be doing because of these stupid thoughts. So hug this sweet sleep and wait for it’s time to wake up. When you wake up, it will give you a more realistic and more beautiful happy ending than in your dream. So sleep now Darling.

His hold on you tightened as Malleus thought about this. Blot drops were dripping from your body all over you. His left hand was hovering over your body while his right hand was holding your body. If you were awake right now, you wouldn’t be mad at him for doing this, would you? Of course you wouldn’t be angry. You will never be angry with him. You always responded to him with the compassion and happiness he longed for. You would be kind to him as if there was a small child in front of you, answering every question he asked, and if he did not understand something, you would tell him with the same enthusiasm without breaking your expression.

You were different. You are not like the others. You’re not like the ones at school. You’re not like Sebek or Silver. Even if Lilia cares about being nice to him, it’s his duty. He trained and raised Malleus because it was his duty. Even though they were close, Lilia didn’t always cross the King-Commander relationship between them. It’s always been a distance. Nobody doesn’t even stay in the same room as him, and no one talks to Malleus unless they have to. But you are not like them. You didn’t shy away from it. You didn’t distance yourself. You invited him to events, even if you didn’t have a purpose. You gave him nicknames. You didn’t hesitate to talk to him at night. You were even willing to do so. You didn’t hesitate to touch him, hug him, dance with him. You responded with the same enthusiasm. You really listened when he talked about Gargoyes. You even asked him more questions about these topics. You joined him at club events. You once gave him a drawing of gargoyes from Noble Bell College. You are not like the others. You did not distance him like the others.

That was the mistake you made. Distance, you did not put a line.

His hand travels over your body. His face is buried in your neck, inhaling your scent. His mouth opens slightly and he places light kisses from your cheeks to your neck. His kisses hardened and began to leave bruises on your neck. He pulled back and looked at the marks he had made. A dark smile formed on his face. He leaned over your face again and kissed you on the lips. Since he had not yet confessed his feelings to you, he would always come to your room at night while you were sleeping and give your sleeping figure light kisses. Every day, regardless of the hour, he watches you, he remembers everything you do. He was going to open up to you that night, but you gave him the disgusting news that made him nauseous. But it is no longer a problem. He may confess his feelings to you when you wake up. After all, 1000 years pass in the blink of an eye. He didn’t stop touching and kissing you while he was thinking about it. How could he stop though? He was completely dependent on you. The addiction he never wanted to let go. He used to have to leave your room before sunrise, but now he had a long time ahead of him.

But these simple kisses and touches weren’t enough during this time… He needs more. It needs more. Malleus needs you. And you are a good enough human to present yourself to him while you are sleeping soundly. Right?

◸Zelf’s cat was jealous. So you have to wait for more… ᓚᘏᗢ◿

[alwaysmicado]

I'm fine

0.9k | Nathan Bateman x reader | drabble

no warnings, just Nathan being Nathan inspired by this post by @h4untedsp3ctor 🖤

You’re still fuming from the argument.

Actually, no. Scratch that. You were fuming, but now it’s slowly morphing into an irritated simmer. It’s been about an hour since you stormed off to cool down, and you’re not ready to make peace yet.

At least, you think you’re not.

You hear footsteps approaching. Nathan’s footsteps. Of course, you think. This is his favorite part of every fight—the dramatic entrance, the flourish. And there it is, right on schedule.

Nathan rounds the corner, wearing that shirt again.

White, crisp, with a bright red bloodstain smeared dramatically over the chest. Above it, in bold black letters: I’m fine.

Because of course, Nathan’s idea of an apology isn’t actually apologizing. No, it’s to be as Nathan as possible. Like wearing a shirt that reminds you of the fact that, oh yeah, he survived a murderous AI.

You can’t help it—the second you see it, your lips twitch against your will. You fight to keep your face stern, but Nathan’s doing that thing where he stands like a model in a cheap cologne ad, arms crossed, hip cocked, giving you his most exaggerated pout.

You stare at him, eyebrow arched. “Seriously?”

Nathan glances down at his chest, pretending he’s just noticed. “Oh, this? Yeah. Almost forgot I was wearing it.”

You fold your arms, but the corner of your mouth twitches. You’re determined not to let him win, but that shirt is so damn stupid.

“You have got to be kidding me,” you mutter, trying to ignore the rising amusement in your chest.

Nathan raises an eyebrow, pretending to be hurt. “Oh, so now you’re attacking the shirt? I thought you’d at least come for my feelings first.”

You roll your eyes. “Nathan, we had a serious argument about a serious issue. Can you not be ridiculous for five minutes?”

He looks down at his shirt, then back at you, deadpan. “This is how I express myself, okay? My feelings? On my chest? Very clearly marked. Literally bleeding heart here.”

You try to hold onto your anger, you really do. But he’s standing there, looking so absurd with that fake bloodstain that you can feel your defenses crumbling. “You wear that every time we fight. It’s getting old.”

“Wow.” He presses a hand to his chest, right over the bloodstain. “You really know how to twist the knife, don’t you? Here I am, freshly wounded, barely surviving, and you’re saying I don’t even bleed in an interesting way anymore?”

“Wounded?” You snort, crossing your arms. “Last I checked, you’re the one who survived a literal robot stabbing. Pretty sure your feelings are fine.”

“Oh, they’re not fine,” he counters, stepping closer. “Hence the shirt. You hurt me, deeply.” He taps the stain for emphasis. “Emotionally. Spiritually. Metaphorically.”

You narrow your eyes at him, trying desperately to stay serious, but his deadpan delivery is getting to you. No, you tell yourself. You’re mad. Stay mad. This man is insufferable.

“Nathan…”

“And maybe,” he continues dramatically, “just maybe… physically.”

You’re biting your lip now, trying not to laugh. You shouldn’t laugh. You are mad at him. You are really mad at him, but somehow, this man has managed to derail every serious argument you’ve ever had with sheer absurdity.

He sees the crack in your resolve and steps closer, tilting his head slightly like he’s studying you. “You know, Ava didn’t stab me this hard,” he says, voice dropping into mock seriousness.

“Stop,” you mutter, turning away to hide the smile threatening to break through.

“Really,” he insists, circling around you, still talking. “Her knife had a clean exit. This?” He motions toward the shirt. “This cut runs deep.”

You groan, covering your face with your hands. “Nathan, you’re impossible.”

He steps closer, nudging your shoulder lightly. “You know, Ava stabbed me right here.” He taps the bloodstain on the shirt like it’s a merit badge. “I mean, this exact spot. Almost poetic, don’t you think?”

You look up at him through your fingers. “Poetic?”

“Yeah.” He’s fully leaning into it now. “The shirt, the fight, the fact that we’re both alive and kicking…well, I’m alive. You didn’t get stabbed by your own robot creation, so I guess you’ve got that going for you.”

You’re trying so hard not to crack a smile, but it’s a losing battle. “You’re such an ass.”

“And yet,” he says, standing in front of you again, “here you are. Still with me. Still making me bleed, but somehow…” He leans in with a smirk. “…I’m fine.”

Your hands drop from your face, and you can’t hold it back anymore—you laugh. It starts as a small chuckle, but once you see the ridiculously triumphant grin on Nathan’s face, it grows into full-on laughter. “Oh my god, you’re an idiot.”

He takes a little bow. “I prefer ‘brave survivor’, but I’ll take what I can get.”

You shake your head, half-exasperated, half-amused. “We’re supposed to be mad at each other.”

Nathan grins wider. “Hey, you’re the one who hurt my delicate, fragile heart. This shirt’s just here to remind you.”

“You’re insufferable.”

“And you love it.” He winks, then pulls you into a light hug, his chin resting on your shoulder. “C’mon, admit it. You can’t stay mad at me when I’m bleeding all over the place.”

You laugh against his shoulder. “You’re lucky that shirt’s so stupid.”

“I love you, too.” He pulls back, looking entirely too pleased with himself.

– – –

Nathan Bateman Masterlist

tag list: @my-secret-shame @pattwtf

[dark-fics-4-you]

Drabble Idea: Rafe being a sorry little bitch after getting high and being abusive to reader. Something like he comes into the room and he asks something along the lines of “Are you mad at me? I said I was sorry, I didn’t mean to” and reader is just shook still. Then maybe dubious consent f oral receiving?

Heartless

Warnings: dubcon/noncon, abusive relationship, domestic violence, manipulation, toxic relationship, oral f!recieving

You slammed the door behind you, blinking hot tears out of your eyes. Taking a shaky breath, you walked over to your vanity, drawing your hand close to the cut on your forehead. You touched it delicately, replaying the scene in your head repeatedly like that would help it make sense.

Expectedly, the genuinely concerned conversation you had tried to have about your boyfriend’s drug problems had transformed into a heated argument.

“You can’t control every aspect of my life, Y/N,” Rafe spat at you, anger flashing in his eyes, no doubt further fueled by the coke in his system.

“I’m not trying to control your life Rafe! I’m just trying to make sure you have a life to live! That you don’t throw everything away for some nose candy!” You threw your hands up, exasperated and tired.

This conversation was long overdue, and you had tried putting it off as long as possible, giving him the benefit of the doubt until it was impossible to ignore. He had a problem.

“You don’t understand what it’s like, Y/N-!” Rafe snapped at you. His face was growing red, one of the veins in his neck starting to pop out.

“Oh I don’t understand? You think I don’t have issues I wish I could just block out with drugs? You think that just because you get into fights with your dad that you’re entitled to be a coked out zombie 24/7?” You knew it was a fucked up thing to say, but you really didn’t expect his reaction at all.

Large hands grabbed and pushed at you and before you could register what was happening, you felt your forehead smack against the corner of the dining table, body crumpling beneath you as you fell to the floor.

You looked up at your boyfriend in shock, and he probably looked even more shocked than you did. You pressed your hand to your head, surprised when you felt a wet warmth at your hairline. You pulled your hand away and you realized why the look on Rafe’s face was so scared.

Crimson stained your fingertips.

“Y/N, I’m sorry, I-I didn’t mean to do that.” His voice was shaking, frantic, and when he reached down to you, you flinched away.

You looked up at your boyfriend through teary eyes, terrified, before you got up and ran into your shared room.

You pressed the warm washcloth to your head, sniffling as you dabbed the blood away.

A sound from behind you caught your attention, and you looked in the mirror to see Rafe, head hung and an apologetic look in his eyes.

“… Are you mad at me, Y/N?” He quietly asked, voice barely reaching your ears.

You felt a pang in your heart at his regretful tone.

“No,” you choked out meekly. It was true, you weren’t mad at him. You were terrified of him.

“I really didn’t mean to, it’s just- just sometimes i get so angry. And I feel like when you aren’t listening to me, it just pisses me off even more, you know?”

You didn’t know, but you nodded your head, a few tears falling past your lashes as you stared past him.

“Let me make it up to you, Y/N.” Rafe cooed, drawing closer to you, pressing against your back and wrapping one arm around your waist as the other hard found your neck, not squeezing, just resting there to put you on edge.

“Rafe, I really am not in the mood right now-” you gasped when his hand moved to roughly squeeze your breast, fingers teasing your nipples over your shirt and bra.

“Are you sure you’re not in the mood?” He challenged, walking you forward towards the mirror.

“Yes, I’m serious Rafe,” you begged, “Cut it out!” You turned to face him, but he caged you in against the bathroom counter, hands finding your hips and lifting you to sit on the counter before pulling at your shorts.

He kneeled before you as he pulled your shorts down, holding your legs when you tried to kick at him.

You gasped when he buried his face between your legs, licking and sucking at the tender flesh. Your fingers gripped the sides of the countertop, legs shaking when he pushed a finger in and began to curl it inside you. You couldn’t stop the moan that escaped your lips when he pressed a second finger into you.

“You know, it’s really hard for you to convince me that you’re that mad at me when I can turn you into such a pathetic mess so easily, princess.”

[jasntodds]

Penance [3]

Pairing: Jason Todd x Fem!Powered!Reader

Words: 10,943

Chapter Warnings: Swearing, a little bit of angst, some fluff, mentions of death, mentions of injuries, the case jason is working is a reference to red hood: lost days

Summary:❝Thesus: Stop. Give me your hand. I am your friend. Herakles: I fear to stain your clothes with blood. Thesus: Stain them. I don’t care.❞

It’s been a month and a half since Crane’s reign of terror was stopped, leaving Gotham to finally return to normal. But, what is normal? After everything Jason and you have been through, it seems normal might be some unobtainable dream state. But that’s not going to stop either of you from trying and maybe, you’ll get lucky in the end. At the end of it, the two of you have suffered enough, right?

Right?

A/N: I'm so sorry for the late chapter!! I had family from out of town here that I haven't seen in like 15 years lol and then I was sick lol You can add yourself to the tag list below, ask me to be tagged, or you can follow my library blog @jasntoddslibrary  and turn on notifications if you prefer that!! I love feedback, I swear it keeps me posting on a weekly basis 😭

series masterlist | masterlist | tag list

You head home, the smile not leaving your face. Despite your thing for running, you've been doing better. You got better about it before Jason died. And you're choosing tonight, to not run from it. A part of you thought maybe you would because Jason deserves better. But your heart beats to the sound of his name. And there is nothing you’ll ever be able to do about it. He has ruined you for anyone else and you can’t even be mad because you only ever want him anyway. Even if that means friends. So, instead of running and punishing yourself tonight, you let the smile plaster itself over your face and you let your heart beat wildly while your stomach spins with butterflies.

Molly’s attention is pulled to the door as you lean against it, closing it.

“Hey.” Moly chimes. “How’d it go?” She asks, seeing the lazy smile across your face, gathering hope for her friends.

“Good.” You push off the door before you kick off your shoes. “Tim suspects nothing. I’m sure he will at some point and we’re gonna start tomorrow.” You explain, noticing the laptop open in front of Molly but seeing Goodreads open instead of anything of importance, immediately telling you Molly's been waiting for you.

“Oh, we’re?" Molly beams with a teasing grin. "So you guys talked?” Molly's eyes track you as you walk over to the sink.

“Yes.” You answer and the smile doesn't budge. “We train Tim tomorrow.” You state casually as you grab a small bag of Cheetos from the cabinet beside the sink.

Molly eyes you as you jump onto the counter, sitting to face Molly before opening your bag of Cheetos. You offer no other explanation. No part of Molly should even be surprised because of course, you aren't going to give her any detail unless she asks specific questions.

“You haven’t spoken to him in a month and a half. You’ve been asking about him at least every other day. And that’s it?”

You sway your feet, not quite letting your heels touch the cabinet below you as you shrug. “It’s kind of weird. I don’t know.” You shake your head before eating a Cheeto. “It was really nice to see him though.” Your voice is soft as you divert your eyes to the bag in your hands, a tender smile on your lips.

Molly's chest warms with your response. It's not that you've been miserable or even all too unhappy over the last month. It's just that it's very clear something is missing. It's clear that it's been hard for you and some of that is your own doing to yourself. Tonight, you seem calm, not as on edge as you usually are. Before tonight, it was as if you were just anticipating something horrible to happen at any second but now you're sitting peacefully on the counter, your face clear of any worry lines and your brows aren't tugged together in thought. It's a bit of a relief from where Molly is sitting.

“Are you done punishing yourself?” Molly asks.

You snap your attention back to Molly before you scoff. “What?”

“You’re punishing yourself for what happened." Molly states simply. You won't explain hardly anything about your own blame. Molly isn't sure if it's just the death of Jason or if it's the whole fallout after, maybe both. But, Molly does know you and she knows you've been punishing yourself, regardless on if you'll ever talk about it. "Are you done? Now that you got to talk to him. I told you, he’s doing okay.”

“You always said you’re worried.” You point a Cheeto at Molly, intentionally avoiding the question.

“There will never be a point in time I’m not worried about him. He's Jason. Red Hood, Robin, just Jason. He’s always up to something.” Molly states with a soft laugh.

“Yeah, yeah, he is.” You let out a sigh. “I just…I really didn’t think he wanted to talk.” You shrug your shoulders. “I didn’t want to intrude on his space and ruin something for him, ya know? I mean…he died and he was really getting help and trying to get better, I didn’t wanna call and ruin that for him.” You shake your head as you chew the inside of your cheek.

That is not the full reason but it is the reason you're willing to say. You know if you tell Molly everything, Molly will tell you that it’s ridiculous. She’ll say it’s been forgiven. She’ll tell Jason and Jason will feel guilty, probably. Jason will bring it up so it doesn’t eat you alive. It's not something you want at all right now. So, you stick with half the story.

“I get it.” Molly nods her head. “At least you guys are talking now.” Molly smiles softly. "I could have told you he wanted to talk though if that was all you needed to know."

"Did he say something?" You question almost a little too quickly, making Molly laugh.

"No." Molly shakes her head. "But he always asked about you. He was asking Gar, too." Molly explains simply as she watches your brows furrow. "He wouldn't have if he didn't want to talk. You two have got to learn how to communicate."

"You're talking to Gar?" You ask, bypassing the entire point of Molly's explanation.

"Yeah?" Molly questions easily but she takes a page from your book and offers no other explanation. "Don't change the subject."

You let out a chortle. "Pretty sure all of our problems would be solved if we communicated." You scrunch your nose before finishing off your Cheetos.

"Okay, so we're in agreement. So, tomorrow, you're gonna see him and tell him that you still think about him all the time and this time a part was a huge waste of time?" Molly gives you a cheeky grin.

You nod quickly before flipping her off with the raise of your brows, making Molly just laugh in response. “I’m gonna shower and head to bed though. I will update you when there is something to be updated on with the Jason front.”

“Thank you.” Molly beams with sarcasm.

Meanwhile, Jason is with Tim. Tim has a lot of questions, that’s for sure. You said he was insistent but Jason had no idea. Tim has been asking questions ever since you left and it’s not even annoying. He just wants to know things about Robin and Batman, being a vigilante, stuff about Jason. Jason finds it a bit funny because it's very reminiscent of his early days as Robin, filled with questions and hope. Tim wants to know about Red Hood but he avoids asking about his death. It’s mostly what he’s doing now and how it all works. He asks about his Robin days. Jason doesn’t talk a lot about them but he tries to offer something that isn’t bitter or sad or discouraging for Tim.

“Think I’ll find Venta?” Tim asks, changing up his line of questioning for a minute.

“Don’t know.” Jason shrugs before he takes a squig of his beer. “If y/n can’t figure it out with you, might not even be in the city.” Jason lies with ease.

“What do I do then?” Tim is desperate for this mission to go smoothly. It's his first time as Robin and he doesn't want to let Dick down.

“Go back to Metropolis.” Jason states.

“Yeah, I guess.” Tim lets out a defeated sigh.

If anyone knows what it's like to not want to disappoint someone like Dick, it's Jason. It's hard and he doesn't fault Dick for this plan. Jason will give it to him, it makes sense, it's a good idea. But, Tim isn't going to find Venta and Jason feels for him.

“Boyfriend, huh?” Jason changes the subject in hopes of taking Tim's mind off of Venta for at least a second.

“Uh, yeah.” Tim nods his head, shifting in his seat. “Bernard.” Tim's heart weighs heavy in his chest.

Jason nods once. “How long has he been in the coma?”

“A while.” Tim says sadly.

Jason watches Tim fiddling with his half-empty water bottle in front of him. All things considered, Jason thinks Tim is handling everything well, at least on the outside. Jason is certain if you were the one in the coma, Dick wouldn't get him to leave under any circumstance. He'd be fighting tooth and nail until you were out of the coma, even if that maybe would not be the smartest or best route.

Usually, Jason is really good at compartmentalizing, partially through training with Bruce and partially due to trauma. But, anytime it ever came to you, it got a little muddied. He could still be Robin, no problem but in a situation like Tim is in, Jason isn't so sure he'd be able to work anything else until he knew you were okay. Tim seems to be able to put his emotions, his anger and care for others, aside for what must be done. Dick still isn't always the best at it.

Jason thinks this might make Tim a better Robin.

“Hey, the Titans will figure out. Always do.” Jason assures him.

"Yeah." Tim lets out a sigh with a soft nod, hoping he's right. “Can I ask you something?”

“You’ve been asking me shit.” Jason quips back.

“How’d you do it?” Tim asks bluntly. “Y/n said she’s been hurt a lot. Doing this. How’d you deal with it?”

Being here is not as easy as Tim is making it seem. The excitement of this is definitely helping but Bernard is still in the back of his head. Every time Gar or Dick or Conner text him, he almost has a panic attack, terrified it'll be bad news about Bernard. He feels like he's not helping and if anyone should be helping his boyfriend, it should absolutely be him. But, Dick is the leader and he can't just go against him. Tim still needs to prove that he can be a good Robin. It's as if he's being torn in two and maybe Jason isn't the best person to ask given everything but Jason is at least very honest.

“Cuts and bruises are different than a coma." Jason states, unsure how else he's supposed to answer.

"You know what I mean, man." Tim almost groans with a plea.

Jason pauses for a few seconds, knowing he doesn't exactly have an answer. The person he should be asking is you because if you can get up and continue this after everything, anyone can. For Jason, it's always been that he has no choice. It's always been about survival, it's still about survival. He can't just sit around and hope for the best. Jason's never been sit around and wait person anyway. Something has to be done. Unfortunately for Tim, that's about all the advice Jason is going to be able to give him.

“Just do it.” Jason answers. “Moping about it isn’t going to help. You get up and do something.”

“I’m here.” Tim states.

“Because Dick needed you to do something. That’s still doing something, right?” Jason raises though he does understand Tim's argument.

“Yeah, but shouldn't I be there to help?” Tim asks. “This is great, ya know? On my own, being Robin! It’s like the coolest thing ever. But, why couldn't this wait?” Tim shakes his head with a soft scoff.

“I’m sure he’s got his reasons.” Jason assures him. "Look, man, Dick's doing what's best for you to be Robin and you know they're trying to figure it out. This is still helping." Jason tries to offer some reason to Tim before he gets to his feet. “Come on. I’ll show you your room.” Jason jerks his head towards the door. “Don’t sweat it, alright? Dick’s got it handled.” Jason states and it’s still a little weird having a little faith in Dick but given all of the events that happened, Dick hasn’t given Jason too hard of a time when they’ve talked.

Jason shows Tim to a room. It’s not much. A TV and a couch, that’s mostly it but it’ll do. Tim won’t be in Gotham long anyway. Jason fetches him a blanket and tells him he has free reign of the place, just don’t break anything and then he’s off to his own room.

He’s switched rooms since the last time you were here. The mattresses is sat up against the north wall but he has an ensuite bathroom. The door to the ensuite is a few feet from the mattress, the head of the mattress and the doorframe on the same wall. Two dressers stand on the wall opposite. He has a turn table and some vinyls. A bookshelf stands tall, loaded with books right next to the bedroom door. It is not much, especially compared to the Manor and the Tower but it’s his. And it’s the things he likes.

Jason heads for the shower, expecting to get it done and over with before trying to get some sleep. But, despite feeling fine all day, something starts feeling wrong. He thought he felt fine, all things considered, but as he tugs his hoodie and shirt over his head, his hands start to shake. They’re practically vibrating right off on his wrists and his heart starts to thunder in his chest. Something in his body feels wrong, like something is going to melt out of his ears. It gets harder to breathe and his head gets dizzy. There's a feeling like maybe his eyesight might start to go next while his hands grip the edge of the sink to stabilize himself. Every muscle in his legs starts to feel numb and weak while the shaking has moved up to his elbows. His arms feel like cinderblocks so he slams his eyes shut and tries to breathe.

He doesn’t know what this is. It doesn’t feel quite like a panic attack. Those always felt explosive. They are loud in comparison. But this? This feels quiet and it feels sharp, deafening. It creeps on him and then hits him in full force when he’s not looking. It always passes but it scares the shit out of him that this might not just be a bad panic attack. What if the Pit is calling him back? He hates the thought but he knows it has to, right? Because being alive doesn’t feel quite right either. Nothing feels quite right anymore.

The feeling starts to pass in a few minutes while Jason looks to the mirror. He hates that white streak. Dick didn’t even get it. Jason gets dunked in the Pit and Jason comes back a monster with a white streak of hair, feeling like he’s going to be ripped back to his own grave in a matter of time. Dick on the other hand seems fine and his hair is fucking normal. What the fuck is even up with that?

There aren’t any bruises decorating his face and he can’t help but think you might have been relieved. You always were. But, you don’t see the y scar staring back at him in the mirror or the red and black bruises over his torso from the other night. He is thankful for that. They hurt. Jason doesn’t waste much more time on it before he gets in the shower. He has to get up early, an appointment with Leslie and all.

By the time the next day rolls around, you pick up Tim from Jason's, Jason nowhere to be found. All you got was that he had left early and he said he'd be back later. Very Jason not to give out any form of detail. And maybe you're a little disappointed you missed him. But, you don't show it as you and Tim head off to Harbor, Tim hoping to find Venta while you're just playing along. Mostly, you want to see how he interrogates people, see if he's any good at it. Tim has never seemed the violent type but you're thinking him as Robin might surprise you since he's so dedicated to the cause.

So, the two of you go and you spend a few hours doing this. You take a backseat, watching as Tim tries to get answers. You give out pointers whenever he lets someone go because he's not the best at it. He's not bad but you feel like he can do better. He can figure out anything, he just needs to get better at threatening people even though you know these people are in fact innocent so you're not actually inciting violence this time. Innocent people don't need to get hurt just so Tim can learn how to be Robin.

After a few hours, you suggest you head back, clearly you aren't going to find anything out. And you're hungry. Tim reluctantly agrees, mostly because you suggested you visit his parents really quick, grab some food, and head back. So, you do, making casual conversations on the way.

By the time you get back, you find Jason in his own training room, the room you were in last night. He's at the monitors working on something but spins around in a chair once you and Tim walk in, Tim holding a take-out bag.

"Got you food." Tim states, digging in the bag for Jason's.

Jason's eyes dart to you as you take your mask off and offer him a soft smile. "I'm gonna change. Don't touch my food..." Your eyes narrow at Jason. "Jason."

"I don't eat your food." Jason snarks back as he takes the container from Tim.

"The fuck you do." You quip back before you spin on your heels, heading to the bathroom down the hall.

You change quickly, ready to just eat your lunch. You still go to Excellent Gotham a few times a week and you're still not bored of it. Once you're in your street clothes, you head back to the room to find the boys practically scarfing down their food with Jason still sat by the monitors and Tim at the small table.

"Where were you this morning?" You ask as you take a seat beside Tim.

"Busy." Jason answers, mouth full of food. "Something for Babs." Jason lies, keeping it casual.

It's not that he cares if you know he's going to see Leslie again or that he cares much if Tim knows. It's that he doesn't want to get into it. There's still a lot of work to be done and it's his work to be done so he keeps it close to his chest.

"Right." You nod your head, eying him carefully before you open your own take-out container.

"She's got you working something, right?" Jason asks, careful not to make it seem like he's brushing you off entirely.

"Yeah, seems like it's just the one guy running shit but there might be more to it." You explain as you eat.

"So you guys just work with the commissioner?" Tim asks as he looks between the two of them.

You and Jason glance between each other before you both shrug your shoulders.

"Kind of." You answer.

"Basically." Jason answers. "There's some shit the GCPD can't do because of red tape or legal reasons so she sends us."

"We have to make money somehow." Sam says sarcastically.

Tim shakes his head. "Do you ever get used to it? I mean this has been awesome over the past few weeks."

Jason looks down at his food. He would not say someone just gets used to it, not really. There is always some form of excitement that takes over when he puts a suit on and he goes out. There's always some form of excitement facing off with people who can kill him and who want to kill him. That part is slightly different now, he almost feels just the tint of anxiety. Death became a reality and he is not invincible but he goes out. It's still something he genuinely feels good about. It's different and there isn't this huge sense of pride with it anymore but he still likes it. It's not so much that someone just gets used to it.

"Not really." Jason answers softly.

You don't think you'll ever be used to it. It's a routine, sure. That part of the job you're used to but everything else? Not so much. You still absolutely love doing it but it's different than before. It almost felt somewhat of an obligation then, living with the Titans and then Batman and Robin. But now, it's entirely your choice. This is your choice to do this and that is cathartic in a way. You're taking control of your life but that doesn't mean you're used to going out and willingly putting yourself in front of gunfire and a bunch of people who want to kill you. You aren't used to the pain that comes with it. Maybe going out every night to protect people is something someone gets used to but possibly dying for other people with such violence is not. Losing people to this life is not.

"I don't think so." You answer honestly.

The three of you continue your meals, Tim finishing first. He's back on his feet as soon as he's done, rushing to throw away his takeout dish as Jason and you watch him. He's still got the suit on and he doesn't look like he's going to change. Something about it makes you think this is probably how Jason was when he first got the suit. He probably slept in it.

"I'm gonna go back out there." Tim declares to the room.

Jason looks to you and you look to Jason. Are either of you supposed to stop him? He looks pretty determined. Stopping him might seem suspicious. Stopping him might be worse off for his training.

"You think you'll find anything out?" Jason questions.

"I have to. It's my job." Tim states and that's when you know you should let him go alone.

"Call if you need anything. Keep your phone on and I'll have Molly track it in case you get into any trouble like you did last night." You offer a simple smile.

"Right...yeah okay, thanks." Tim gives you a sheepish smile before he darts right out of the room, the bo staff in hand.

"He's gonna get his ass kicked." Jason mutters.

"Definitely." You nod your head.

"Why'd you let him go then?" Jason nearly chortles as he takes another bite.

"Why didn't you stop him?" You chortle right back. Tim is also Jason's job. "He has a job to do and we'll never be able to train him in any of this if he actually thinks he can do it. I get Dick is building confidence or whatever but Tim's detective skills will only get him so far." You state.

"That's why I didn't stop him." Jason laughs with the shake of his head.

The room falls silent as you both continue your food. You text Molly letting her know about Tim and just to keep an ear out in case something hits the fan and you and Jason need to go help him. Tim is only supposed to be asking questions, he should be fine until he gets back so you aren't too worried and neither is Jason.

"Still the Shimmer case?" You ask as you toss your takeout away.

"Uh, yeah and another one." Jason states, turning back to the monitors, pulling up a few missing posters for kids.

"More missing kids?" You question as you take a seat beside him.

"Nope." Jason starts, shaking his head in annoyance. "We know where most of them are which is the problem." Jason huffs.

"Do I even want to know?" You ask cautiously with a grimace.

"They've got them spread out across the city but anytime anyone gets close, they move. I think it's someone in the department running it." Jason explains, glancing to you. "Made a whole fucking business of selling kids."

"Fucking gross." You grimace as you tug your sleeves over your hands. "Are they keeping them in Gotham though?"

"These ones." Jasn pulls up about ten posters as he gestures to the screen. "We haven't gotten a sighting or word about in about two weeks so I don't think so. But the others we've seen here and there or heard something. Babs wants me to be careful, track who I can until I find the one running it. Then let her take it from there." Jason lets out a bitter scoff, still hellbent on fighting Babs tooth and nail over this one.

"Right, but you're Jason Todd who doesn't do that. So what are you actually going to do about it?" You ask with hope Jason will take it into his own hands. Anyone who's willing to just sell kids for who knows what, shouldn't be able to get locked away and then let free to do it all over again in a different city.

"Scare him out into the open and then kill him. Selling fucking kids. No one gets to just go through the fucking justice system that'll let them out to do it all over again. Babs is gonna be pissed but I don't fucking care." Jason huffs, determination written over every line of his face.

"Good, fuck that guy." You scoff and you'd be lying if you didn't want in. "Need any help?" You ask, keeping your eyes on the screen to not seem too eager about offering help.

Jason laughs softly. "I thought you didn't team?" Jason quips, looking back at you with the raise of his brows. It's the same look he always gave you when he just wanted to watch you squirm, the question at hand not even being a real question.

Your heart starts to thunder in your chest again and maybe sitting so close to him was just your subconscious because you swear you didn't do it on purpose. It's the way he grins back at you just as he always did whenever he was trying to fuck with you. Before, before things got all messy and real, he'd scoot closer to you and wiggle his brows. But, he doesn't. He keeps his signature smirk as your eyes are locked on his. You forgot how much you love the color green.

"That wasn't a no and I thought you didn't team anymore." You quip back, leaning your elbow on the table, resting your head on your hand as your brows raise at him.

He'd always team with you if you asked.

"Could make an exception." Jason raises back.

"Aw, just for me?" You scrunch your nose at him.

"Could be fun." Jason teases as his heart erupts into pooling lava.

"Could be." You nod your head, chewing the inside of your cheek. "Loser."

Jason lets out a laugh. "Actually, yeah, I think you can help." Jason cuts it short pulling a mug shot of a woman you helped last week. "Know her right?"

"Yeah, she was one of the women I got out of the ring I'm working. She flipped." You state.

"Rumor has it, she was working with my guy first." Jason explains.

"Right, and he got bored as they do, recruit someone else." You state.

"Think you could talk to her?"Jason asks. "She'll know, at least, who he is, could fucking help."

"She wouldn't give us any names." You shrug before your brows furrow. "You said you guys think he's working for the department?"

"Yeah, why?"

"Well, she bypassed the whole system and clearance Babs set up. She's not in the program either. I checked. Babs said it was some sort of glitch or something but I don't think she believes it." You explain.

"Well, what about her friends? We can try to find her but until then, what about her friends?" Jason asks, knowing someone had to slip at some point. The more people involved, the harder it is to keep secrets. People love telling secrets.

"Yeah, yeah, uh...we have a few we're watching and one in our program. I can try." You offer with a simple nod.

"Thank you." Jason offers a subtle, closed-mouth smile.

"Of course, happy to help." You offer the same smile back.

The room falls silent between you while you watch Jason look over his monitors. He really has the whole setup now. Scans over the city, security system, alerts. It reminds you a little of the Batcave and Titans tower. You and Molly don't have quite the extensive system Jason does but it works for you. You're happy he's got it all laid out though. It makes her feel like he might be being a little safe out there, maybe taking a little extra caution for his life.

Jason glances at you and he wonders how this would be different if so much time hadn't passed, if things were different between you. He wonders if you'd be more of a team, working these missions together. He wonders if you'd be here with him or if you'd still live with Molly. Would you still take up a different part of the city? That actually would make more sense. Three vigilantes spread out can cover more ground but he thinks about it anyway. Would you be training together still? Would you meet up halfway through patrol for a quick snack by his favorite gargoyle or the roof near the wolf enclosure at the zoo? Too much time passed and he really wishes it wouldn't have.

It's for the best, he tells himself over and over to try and convince himself it is. He wants you so bad still that it is killing him but he can't let you down like he did before. That is not fair and he's worried he's not ready. And this is the second time you've spoken in a month and a half. That doesn't seem fair to even spring it on you. But you should know, right? Jason wonders if you should or maybe too much time has passed there, too. Maybe you think his feelings have changed with the lack of contact.

They haven't. They never could.

He just wants you to be happy even if it's not with him.

Jason clears his throat. "How have you been anyways?" Jason answers, trying to ease his own thoughts. "Molly and Gar said you're okay." Jason says softly and he says it on purpose, testing the waters.

Your brows pull together, watching as the corner of his mouth pulls up just slightly. The honesty of him asking your friends is new. "You asking about me, Jay?" The sarcasm isn't as strong as it normally is as if you're genuinely surprised he's being blunt about it but you aren't mad. Molly mentioned it last night but you didn't press, thinking it didn't mean much but with Jason stating it, it has to.

Jason shrugs. "I know you ask about me." Jason quips back grinning back at you, taking a shot in the dark with his assumption. If he's been asking, he's hoping you were, too.

Of course, you do but you want to know how he knows that. And then you remember. Jason Todd knows every single thing about you, inside and out. Even in his worst mental health days, somewhere deep inside his guarded heart, he knows you always loved him. Of course, you've asked about him. You have to. You don't want to live in a world where you don't check on him. It would be a dull and grey world and that's just not one you want to live in.

You suck your teeth, an uncontrollable smile coming to your face. "I always have to check on you." You say quietly, looking to the screens. Jason wants to combust. "I, uh, yeah, I've been okay." You pull in a breath, not letting your words linger in the air for too long. "Living with Molly is different but it's nice." You nod your head quickly. "How are you?"

"Good." Jason answers. "Yeah, it's uh, it's cool being away from Bruce and being able to do my own thing." Jason nods his head.

You tilt your head, narrowing your eyes. "Why are they worried about you then?" You question carefully.

"They're always worried, like you." Jason quips.

"Because you always give us reason to be worried." You widen your eyes at him.

"I don't fucking know, honestly. Think they just are." Jason clears his throat again, desperately wishing people didn't worry so much about him. It makes the guilt heavier. "After everything."

"Yeah, that's, uh, yeah, t-that makes sense." Your face falls as Jason watches the sadness rip itself across your features.

"What about you? They're worried about you, too." Jason nods his head up at you.

You pull in a breath. "Uh...yeah it's just...I don't know." You shake your head. "Same reason maybe and uh, just...being out there." You nod your head, omitting the parts about some nightmares and some reckless tendencies that were not there a few months ago.

"You sure you're alright?" Jason asks as his eyes narrow slightly as if he has some sort of sixth sense always telling when something's going on with you.

There's a single second where you almost bear it all to him. You almost tell him why you picked a fight last night and why you never called. You almost tell him why you patrol more than he does -- according to Molly. There's a part of you that almost wants to tell him because you would have before. But that was before, this is now. It's different now. He doesn't have to carry it for you anymore. It's not fair to him.

You nod. "Yeah, are you sure?" You point a finger to your head.

"Yeah, yeah, uh I've been seeing Leslie." Jason admits despite him wanting to keep it close to his chest. He can always tell when something is picking at you, he considers this an olive branch, an offering of acknowledgment that he's still here. He watches you take a breath, relief almost washing over your face. "It's helping a little." Jason nods his head. "Maybe you and Bruce were right about it." Jason lets out a soft chuckle.

"I'm usually right about most things." You smirk right back at him. "I'm glad you're going and that it's helping." You smile softly at him, genuinely relieved he decided to go back. "You look really good, Jay."

"So do you." Jason whispers softly.

The words "I miss you" choke through Jason's throat, shredding the flesh into pieces. They get stuck and seep into the open wounds, reabsorbing themselves right into his flesh as the blood drowns them from ever coming to the surface. Before, you always told each other you missed each other but something about the words now feel too weighted. There's too much emotion tied to them. There are too many feelings tugged onto every single letter. The words will never be simply platonic again because how can they be?

He misses the way your hand would run through his hair after he's had a nightmare. And the way you'd kiss his head lazily before you'd eventually fall asleep. He misses the way you'd tell him you love him as if it's the only words you'd ever known and how even when they were said lazily and with sleep still in your eyes, they all weighed the same. It always meant the same. He misses being able to tell you everything and being able to expose his worst parts to you without ever being judged. And how your hand fit perfectly in his and the way you'd warm up her hands with her powers before rubbing out the knots in his back. He misses how you'd kiss him and immediately start smiling as if it is the one thing that would make you happy even on your worst day.

He misses the way you were allowed to love each other.

You almost pick up your hand and run it through the white streak of hair just to mess with it. You almost do but catch yourself. Maybe if you were still friends who had talked over the last month, you would have but not now. You don't want to invade his personal space. Jason has always been a bit skittish. You remember some of the first times you stepped into his space, touched him in ways he didn't seem to expect. He'd freeze, his entire body would tense as if you were going to hurt him even if all you did was rest your hand on his cheek. Over time, he'd relax but you remember that and it breaks your heart. You wonder if he'd freeze like that again or if he'd relax eventually.

"So," You pull in a breath. "This is officially your new place?" You ask as you look around the room.

"Yeah," Jason chuckles, his eyes still locked on you. "Did ya want a tour?" Jason offers.

"Yeah, actually that'd be cool." You laugh softly as Jason stands up.

He shakes his head and then offers you his hand on purpose. "Come on." Jason jerks his head.

You look at his hand and then back his eyes. Your hand goes into his as you get up. He drives you crazy and maybe this isn't the cat-and-mouse game you always played but you offer it anyway, for old times' sake.

"Shithead." You mutter once you're to your feet and your hand is back at your side.

Jason laughs this soft laugh that feels the way the first 'I love you' does. "Babe." Jason says back, for old times' sake.

The two of you start the tour. It's not a house. It's an orphanage that closed down years ago. You find it a bit ironic this is one of the places he picked but you keep it quiet. So, Jason leads you around, showing you some of the rooms and explains some of the things he wants to do. He wants one of them to be a library because of course he does. Another room he wants to dedicate solely to a kitchen and another to a training room, weight room, monitor room like the Batcave. There's another one he wants just for a shooting range to keep it all contained. You swear he has it all figured out. And then you get to his bedroom, last on the tour because it was furthest away from where you started.

You nod your head, looking at the bookcase. "Makes sense." You point to it. "I'm glad you don't have to hide it." You nod your head at him with a soft smile, the scrapbook page you made him for his birthday does not go unnoticed on top of the bookshelf.

Jason looks to the floor, stuffing his hands in his pockets. "Yeah, it's nice." Jason looks around with a subtle smile.

"I really like it, Jay." You say honestly. "Do you like it?"

Jason looks around some more feeling a sense of warmth and and pride in his chest. "Yeah, I do." Jason nods. "It's not the manor or anything."

"You always said the manor wasn't the real you anyway. This the real you?" You ask.

Jason pulls in a breath, his eyes still scanning around the room. He isn't sure if it's all him, really. It's hard to tell these days what's really him and what's leftover from his previous life. It's hard to tell if those two things can bleed into one or if the past him died with the crowbar. He likes to think this will be the real him. Better. But, you always knew him better than anyone, sometimes better than he knew himself.

"You tell me." Jason shrugs softly as his eyes land back on you.

"I think so." You give him a tender smile. "Simple, repurposing something left to rot. Making it into something good. I think it's very you. And I do not think it is a coincidence that there are empty rooms." You offer him a cheeky smirk with a soft laugh. "Expecting guests at some point."

Jason chuckles as his cheeks start to burn. "Shut the fuck up." Jason glances to the floor and then back to you before he gestures a hand out. "You planning on needing a place to stay?" Jason quips.

"If you're offering." You quip back and you watch him shift his weight to his right leg before rolling his shoulders.

Jason's heart skips a beat right into his throat. "What? Bored of Molly already?"

"Nah, just fun to fuck wit you, still." You tease him with a toothy grin.

"Right." Jason scoffs but a smile is on his face, maybe his heart sinks a little even if he knew it was a joke to begin with.

The room falls silent and something about this doesn't feel right. It's weird not living together with no thought of ever living together again. You've always been just fine on your own and you love living with Molly but it's always Jason you wish were there when you get home. Missing him has become routine but not in a way you ever get used to. Missing him is just there, all the time. It's exhausting missing him.

"Might have to take up the offer though when I get hurt." You clear your throat, tugging your sleeves down. Jason's brows furrow at you. "Molly fusses over it."

"You planning on getting hurt anytime soon?" Jason asks as concern washes over his face.

"No." You scoff. "I just mean...ya know?" You shrug your shoulders.

Molly isn't squeamish. She never has been, not from what you remember prior to your mom dying. But, you got hurt your first week living with Molly and it really wasn't anything. It was just a long cut, not too deep, won't even scar. But, Molly fussed over it and there was a lot of blood. You aren't too oblivious to know why Molly suddenly fusses over blood. You just can't tell Jason that, it's not fair to him.

"It's Molly, she worries." You brush it off.

Jason nods his head with understanding, sensing there's something more but he chooses not to dig. "You're always welcome to stay." Jason pulls in a soft breath with a subtle smile.

"Thanks, Jay." You give him a small and shy smile.

"Of course." Jason says softly and he decides to leave it there. "Wanna keep waiting for Tim? Check on him?"

"We should. If something happens, Dick will kill us." You laugh softly.

"Yeah, we aren't fighting for once, don't wanna get back there." Jason chuckles as the two of you head back to his current training room.

The two of you take your seats beside each other. You get a text from Molly letting you know everything with Tim seems okay from where she's sitting. So, the two of you wait on the monitors, figuring he'll be fine. Nothing too bad has been going down around Harbor anyway.

A few hours later, Tim comes back looking quite a bit defeated. He greets the two of you before he heads off to change. Jason and you actually feel bad for him. He has so much hope of getting this done when there isn't anything to get done. You both entirely understand why Dick sent him on a fake mission. It makes perfect sense and in a way, it's teaching him he is not perfect. He won't win all of them and he can ask for help. That's when you both realize that is likely Dck's real point. You both can step it up.

Tim walks back in a few minutes later still looking a little defeated. The case is in one hand and his bo staff is in the other. He puts the case down against the wall and takes a place on the mat in the middle of the room. You let out a soft laugh. Apparently, part of being a vigilante is needing to train in order to work out frustration.

"Follow my lead." Jason whispers to you right before he gets up and heads over to the fridge while Tim is moving his staff through the air and between his hands.

"I asked everybody down on Harbor about this guy, Venta. And nobody's heard of him." Tim states in frustration, watching as Jason grabs a beer from the fridge.

"Must be in deep cover." Jason states, popping the cap from the beer, the cap clanking on the floor. You get up from your seat, moving to lean against the table that sits off to the side but in between the boys. "Or dead." Jason suggests before taking a sip from the bottle. Tim offers a simple glare to him, not liking the answer as he continues with his Bo staff. "You like that thing?" Jason asks, closing some of the distance between the boys. "Can you actually use it?" Jason stops about two feet in front of Tim.

Tim holds the staff over his right shoulder, facing Jason. This is his chance. "Why don't we go a few rounds and I'll show you?" Tim asks, almost seeming confident in his ask.

Jason looks to the floor, eying his beer and then he looks to you, a smirk on his face. Jason knows without a second thought that this is going to be fun for him, not so much for Tim. He raises his brows quickly before taking another sip on his way over to the table to put the beer down.

"You're going to regret asking that." You quip and you'd be lying if you said you didn't admit his confidence, even if unwarranted.

"What?" Tim asks, trying to conceal his sudden concern.

"You'll see." You laugh softly, crossing your arms over your chest.

Jason walks back over, the boys locking eyes on each other the whole time. You can't tell if Tim asked because Jason was Robin and he thinks it'll be fun and cool. Or if he asked for some training and now is regretting it because Jason was Robin and now Red Hood and he knows this will only end in pain.

Jason nods up at Tim. "One round." Jason states.

Tim takes up the challenge, taking a step back as he points the end of the Bo staff as Jason's chest. There's a very small and subtle smile trying to make its way onto Tim's face. Jason gives it a few seconds before smacking the bo staff right out of Tim's hands, sending it to the ground. Tim lets out a breath with a sudden jolt, almost defeat and even a little embarrassment covers his face.

Jason grins more to himself than anything. "Maybe two rounds." Jason states before looking over to you. "You wanna try?"

You push off the table, switching places with Jason while Tim picks up his staff. "Cool?" You ask Tim.

Tim nods a few times, trying to hide his excitement of getting to train with the both of you. "Yeah, we're good."

Tim takes a step back and this time, he holds the staff closer to himself, his grip tighter. His feet are planted better on the ground but you know he doesn't stand a chance. Tim doesn't expect sparring to be mean. But you trained with Jason who would kick someone while they were down just to make sure they're prepared for everything.

The staff is pointed at you and then Tim pulls it to the side quickly, about to use it to smack you with it in order to make the first move to not make the same mistake as last time. But you grab the end of the staff before it can even come close and in a quick and fluid motion, you yank it right from his hands, flipping the staff in your hands and pointing it right at his head.

"Alright." Tim lets out a sigh as you hand the staff back over.

"You need some help." Jason states, walking back over to you and Tim. "You're never gonna get this Venta guy if you can't even last a few seconds between us."

"There hasn't been a lot of time to train." Tim almost groans with the shake of his head.

"Yeah, I heard." You nod your head. "Gar told me. Well, you're here." You shrug your shoulders.

"Been a while since I sparred with anyone." Jason looks between you and Tim, something menacing behind his eyes.

"What'd you say, Tim?" You ask with a taunting grin.

"Wait, really?" Tim asks as his eyes go wide. "You guys will help?"

"Well, I don't want you to get killed." You state.

"Yeah, we're not trying to watch you sign your death certificate while you're here."

"Yeah, yeah, thanks." Tim beams with a large smile.

"I'm gonna change real quick, warm him up." Jason nods at you before he walks to the door.

"You guys are gonna help me?" Tim asks. "This is really cool. Thank you."

"You're a dork." You state, watching Tim chew his cheek. "It was so cool being trained by Robin though." You gush. 

"He's not gonna go easy on me, is he?" Tim asks as he nods his head, realizing who he just signed up to train with.

You let out a cackle. "Fuck no. Jason doesn't go easy on anyone." You let out a laugh as you sit on the floor and start stretching.

Tim joins you and starts stretching. "How is this going to work with your combat thing?" Tim asks.

"I try to ignore it. It's actually a little easier to ignore now, like sparring with people I trust."

"You can ignore it?" Tim's brows furrow at you. "How's that work?"

"Eh, kind of it. It's not really ignoring it as just pretending like it isn't there. It's kind of hard to explain. I just noticed, even back at the Tower, it just wasn't as strong training with everyone. I don't know." You shrug softly.

Jason comes back a few minutes later, going to the back room where there's a jukebox. While Jason gets some music going, you and Tim get to your feet. Tim grabs his bo staff, moving it around again as if he's preparing. You watch over your shoulder at Jason.

He's gained a bit more muscle over the last month and a half. The shirt he's wearing fits him well, cutting just below his waist. The sleeves hug his biceps that you swear are bigger and it's tighter around his chest. Your eyes trail down to his sweatpants. There's no difference there but there was something about Jason in sweatpants that you found to be the most attractive.

Jason turns back around, catching you staring. Heat runs over his cheeks as he smirks back at you. It's cheeky and arrogant, just as it always is. You roll your eyes, turning back around. Jason walks over to you and Tim gets ready.

"Okay, give me what you got." Tim says with confidence, swinging the bo staff around fluidly.

Jason doesn't even let him finish the sentence before he yanks the bo staff from Tim with almost no effort and then smacks Tim on the side of the head, making him fall to the ground. You burst out laughing as Tim looks up at Jason with surprise.

"You rely too much on your toys." Jason states sternly. Tim gets back to his feet, holding his head. "Okay." Jason says calmly and he's starting to feel in his element again. "On three, I'm gonna attack. You ready?" Jason asks.

Tim gets his stance ready, a little wobbly on his feet. "Ready."

"One." Jason says and then immediately goes to smack Tim again but this time Tim blocks his arm only for Jason to kick Tim in the back of the knee, sending him right back to the ground.

"What the fuck." Tim says, quickly getting back on his feet. "You said three!"

"Yeah! The Riddler's not gonna count." Jason strikes right back.

Tim looks to you for help. This is completely different than how he's been training with Conner and Gar. With Gar, they count off and spar, Gar definitely seems to go easy on him with TIm's lack of experience. And to be fair, a lot of the training with Conner is Tim just hitting him with no effect at all. But, Jason really isn't going to play fair. Tim's only hope is that you will.

"No one out there is going to tell you when they're going to attack. You just have to know." You state, not willing to help. "You're a Titan today and we're here but you're gonna be on your own. You're going to be helpless one day. Learn today never to be helpless." You nod your head, taking your turn with him.

The two of you get into your stances. You know you won't be nearly as ruthless as Jason. You only have a few days to get Tim in shape to fight a demon but that doesn't mean you and Jason both have to be completely ruthless the whole time. You'll cut Tim some slack. He can take it anyway. He'll be fine.

You go to take a single step forward, making Tim try to attack and block first. But, you never finish the step. Instead, it only makes Tim come closer to you which makes you grab his arm and spin the two of you around, pinning his arm behind his back. Tim lets out a yell and you let go, going back to your stance.

"Ow." Tim groans at you.

"You're fine. It'll feel better in a minute." You smile back at him. "Come at me."

Tim does as told, trying to land a hit to your head but you block him before he ever gets close and then you kick him in the knee, just hard enough to send him to the ground. You look to Jason. Oh, Tim needs help.

"You told me to come at you." Tim groans. "I thought you were just gonna block."

"Yeah, no." You laughs softly. "Not happening."

"Because the Riddler's not gonna block." Tim almost mocks Jason.

"None of them are going to just block." You correct him. "Your turn, Jay."

Jason takes over again while you grab a Gatorade from the fridge, pulling out one for the boys, too. Jason actually starts teaching now, showing Tim how to properly block and when. He shows him different ways and the best ways. Tim does know some of the blocks, he's just not used to them quite yet which is a relief.

Once Tim seems steady there, you switch with Jason and instead, you block Tim. You show Tim how you do it and how quick it is for you. The thought behind it is that you're not the only one with this. If Tim runs into someone with this power, he needs to know how he's supposed to land a hit. So, that's his job. Watch you, and learn how you block and find a weakness in order to hit. That's what Jason did. Tim only gets somewhat close a few times before Jason and you switch again.

This time, Jason starts teaching Tim how to make contact. Again, Dick has shown Tim some defense which is a help but he hasn't had much time to practice. So, the boys work on that for a few minutes before Jason shows him a few more things. After a few minutes, you switch with Jason. You and Tim go back and forth for a few minutes before Jason decides to up more. You only have a few days to get Tim ready. Now, it's two against one.

"Come on, me against you two?" Tim groans.

You and Jason look between each other and you both shrug as if sharing the same brain.

"No." You both say.

"We're all against each other." Jason answers casually.

"You have to watch what we're both doing not only against each other but when we come for you. No teams. Every man for himself." You state.

The three of you take your positions before Jason gives the go-ahead. The three of you lunge for each other. You hit Jason first, knowing Jason would likely go for Tim first. Is it going a little easy on Tim? Sure. But, you know going all out isn't going to help him, not right now. So, you kick the back of Jason's leg first, giving Tim the opportunity to get one hit to his head. Jason is quick to fight right back, knocking Tim in the face before he turns around, nearly kicking you before you jump out of the way and land a second hit to Tim's chest.

The three of you keep this up for the next half hour. You and Jason try to divide your time between each other and Tim, making sure he's getting plenty of chances to not only try to take you both down but also block the both of you. You're both being careful not to go too hard but make sure you aren't going too easy either. The more you all go, Tim gets tired but he never gives up. About halfway through, Tim gets into his own rhythm, able to block more of you and Jason. He lands a hit to you once while you hit Jason and he hands just a handful of hits to Jason. It builds his confidence anytime he lands anything and blocks one of you.

After a half hour of sparring, the three of you take seats on the floor, bottles of Gatorade right beside all of you as your chests heave. Jason's eyes land on you with your messy hair and the bruise of your eye fading. You have the Gatorade to your lips and he sees the silver chain peaking out from the collar of your t-shirt. There's a bruise on your right bicep, that's more recent but it's not bad. And he watches as you smile and then laugh at Tim as Tim lays back, complaining that he might be dying. There's been something about your smile and your laugh that could make Jason smile even on his worst days. Maybe you are doing better. He really hopes you are. You look so happy.

You get up, Jason unable to peel his eyes away from you. He always loved the way you looked in sweatpants. You have on black joggers that hug your thighs just a little bit and pinch right at your ankles. Your t-shirt is shorter, cutting right at your waist and Jason can't stop staring. He swears you're fucking stunning.

You grab all of you a few of Jason's granola bars and when you turn around, Jason is staring at you. So, you look at the granola bars and then at Jason before you throw one right at his head. It bonks him, causing Tim to burst out into a fit of laughter.

"Something about needing to block or something?" Tim quips, barely finishing his sentence before you and Jason throw a granola bar at him. Tim flails trying to block them unsuccessfully.

You grab a few more before you take your seat back beside Jason, giving him a few granola bars, keeping some for yourself while Tim snacks on the ones the two of you threw at him. It's nice being able to get a little bit of a break. Jason is actually really enjoying this. It feels like old times and he's actually helping. Dick is trusting him to work with you and help make sure Tim is prepared to fight this big bad. That's a big compliment as far as Jason is concerned. And Tim seems to be enjoying himself even if you both are going hard on him. Jason always liked helping train the others and this is throwing him right back but in a good way where he's not bitter about it. He's just glad to help. He feels needed.

And it doesn't hurt that you're here and you're getting along. It feels different than it did before. But, it's really nice. You're both still laughing and you still think the same way. You're still on the same page with everything. It's just nice to be able to spend some time with you and check in on you. Jason has missed you more than words could ever describe and he wonders if you'll be able to keep this going once Tim leaves. He really hopes you can. And he watches you toss another bar at Tim with a smile and he decides, he will try. He'll try to keep this up after Tim leaves.

Just because Tim will leave, doesn't mean you and Jason have to go back to not talking. The not talking was the hard part but now that you are, it feels easy again. It feels like you don't have to give each other space the size of half the damn city. You can do this without having to sacrifice having each other in your lives. Jason decides as he watches you laugh, he's going to keep trying to have you in his life and he hopes you'll have him, too.

The three of them spar for another half hour before Jason teaches Tim more about his staff. Dick was the one who liked the bo staff and Jason wasn't much to rely on it but Bruce made him learn. Jason always thought it was because of Dick but he's realizing it was just preparation to be able to use anything and everything as a weapon just in case. So, you sit back and watch the two of them go back and forth.

Once they're done, Jason sends Tim off to shower first. Jason plops down in the chair beside you as you give him a soft laugh. He's been thinking through this whole training session that maybe you both can step up your game. Tim is going to need to experience based on what Jason has heard about Brother Blood.

"So," Jason clears his throat. "Penguin has a shipment of guns coming in tomorrow night." Jason states.

Your eyes narrow slightly, knowing Jason has an idea of some sort. "Does he?"

Jason nods his head as casually as he can. "Shouldn't be too hard. In and out kind of thing. Grab and leave."

"Uh, huh." You nod, turning to face him with a teasing grin. "Where ya going with this, Jay?"

"Could take Tim." Jason offers, casually before a smirk crosses over his lips as he crosses his arms. His eyes lock on yours. "Wanna?"

"You want us to take Tim on a mission to steal Penguin's guns?" You ask but you think it's a great idea. What better training than an actual mission of some sort?

"Good training. We can watch him and he can watch us. See how it's really done. Especially if he's going to be Robin." Jason offers with ease but he's thinking he really doesn't need to convince you.

A crooked smile creeps on your face. "You know I'd never turn down an opportunity like this." You laugh softly.

"Yeah?" Jason asks, hope in his voice.

"Hell yeah. It'll be fun anyway. I helped you and Bruce with Penguin a couple of times and like once it got a bit dicey. We'll be fine." You beam at him. "I miss fucking with Penguin."

"You would." Jason tilts his head back with a booming laugh and the void in his chest starts to not feel as hollow.

Your smile turns soft and warm with his laugh. You remember back at the tower and how he was treated. There was a lot going on that was bigger than him, bigger than you. But, you think about that and the general disdain everyone had for him at the time and you're watching him laugh now. You always wondered how anyone could feel anything but love for him. How could someone not be completely in love with him? Because you're sitting here feeling just as you always did around him.

You read once that studies suggest it takes three to six months to get over someone, which sounds a little miserable. It has not been even three months but it's been a month and a half and it feels like nothing even wavered in your feelings for him. You're just as in love with him today as you were sitting on the floor of the training room in San Fransisco and maybe that doesn't have to be a bad thing.

"You're having fun, aren't you?" You ask.

Jason grins back over at you. "It's not horrible."

"Uh-huh." You laugh as you shake your head. "Well, you look like you're having a good time." You shrug your shoulders at him as you chew the inside of your cheek. "And thanks to you, Tim will be great."

"Stroking my ego?" Jason quips back. "You get hit in the head too hard?"

"Shut up." You groan as you give him a gentle shove.

"Thank you." Jason laughs softly. "He'll be great because of you, too though, ya know?" Jason questions.

"Awww, now look who's being nice." You tease with the scrunch of your nose.

"I can be nice." Jason smirks right back at you.

"Yeah..." You let out a soft sigh. "You have your moments." You laugh softly as you check your phone. "Hey, uh.." Your brows furrow. "If we were done for the day, I was gonna head out." You pull in a breath, not really wanting to leave quite yet. "There are some people I wanna check up on before patrol tonight." You explain.

"Yeah, of course." Jason feels the disappointment cloud his chest. "I'll, uh, I'll call you if something goes down and text you the time." Jason nods, careful to let his disappointment show.

"Okay." You smile softly, ready to get the rest of the day over with so you can see him tomorrow. "I'll see you tomorrow, Jay."

"See you tomorrow." Jason smiles softly before you leave the room, allowing Jason to himself for the night.

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[wallydrling]

a billion trillion kisses (for you)

pairing: wally darling/reader

rating: g

author's note: gender neutral reader to the best of my ability, probably some discrepancies having to do with the lore, i made wally taller lol

ao3 (it's formatted so much better on there. i hate u tumblr!)

You’d moved to Home last Spring, on one of the rainiest days the little town had ever seen.

Looking back now, it’s a fond memory. But at the time, rain pouring down from the sky, soaking your hair and your clothes and all your cardboard boxes, it’d been miserable. You remember just wanting to crawl beneath a canopy tree and cry. Your boxes of books had all fallen apart, landing on the wet pavement outside of your house. Your favorite shoes were ruined, covered up to the laces in mud. It felt like a sign. Something sent from the universe, urging you to turn around and leave. To go back to where you came from.

Only, you couldn’t remember where that was. You still can’t.

And right as you’d given up, settling on your front porch with your face buried in your hands, the clouds parted. Metaphorically, of course. The sky continued to cry. But, a set of footsteps headed towards you, sloshing in the puddles that had formed, and you’d peeked between your fingers to see–him. All lean legs, and a deep, blue cardigan with hair to match, covered up in a red raincoat. He’d been wearing loafers, then. Something you’d come to familiarize yourself with, something you’d later recognize as his signature. He walked towards you with all the confidence in the world, and a bright smile on his face.

“Hi there, new neighbor!” He called out, loud enough to be heard over the rain. “I’m Wally. I live just over that way,” he pointed over his shoulder with his thumb. “I couldn’t help but notice all of these books lying on the ground, and then I saw you and thought, ‘Oh, looks like they need help!’ So, here I am.”

His very presence had seemed so outlandish back then; so unreal. His will to lend a helping hand had felt a little bit degrading. Someone as bright as him, bursting with color and cheer, coming to stand in front of you on such a horrendous day. You’d wanted to be mad, to snap at him to go away. You remember that you hadn’t really felt like socializing, then.

But before you could get a single word out, Wally knelt to the ground, and began gathering your books in his arms. They were covered in mud, and dripping rainwater. They dirtied his cardigan as he held them to his chest, but he didn’t seem to mind. Once he had his arms full of them, he stepped around you, and walked straight into your house. Like he lived there, too. Like it would’ve been silly of him to wait for an invitation.

Shocked at his boldness, you sprung to your feet, hot on his heels. You watched with big, wide eyes as he set your books down on the floor. The carpet was covered in muck and water, and Wally even more so; the mud on his cardigan would likely stain, and his rainbow pants were patchy with water. His hair, still half-styled in a pompadour despite the heavy rain, dripped rain down his yellow cheeks. He wiped his hands off on his pants, and flashed a bright smile at you.

“Do you need some help getting the other boxes in here?” He’d asked.

You blinked at him, once. Twice. Had no idea what to make of him. And then, subtly, you nodded. “Yeah. That’d…that’d be appreciated.”

So, that’s how you met your best friend.

Only, now, that terminology is beginning to feel incorrect. Because Wally is a friend, yes, and he is best in the sense that he is your favorite in all of Home (Julie would positively lose it if you said that aloud), but it's been a year of living in this town; of seeing his bright smile, and hearing his awkward, warm laughter nearly every day. It's been easy to hold Frank, Eddie, and even Howdy at a distance–two of the three are already a pair, and you don't see them nearly as often as you do Wally. Even Julie only shows up knocking at your door a couple of times a week.

You and Wally have become near-inseparable. If you aren't taking walks, stopping to cloud gaze every so often, then you're painting together. If you aren't painting together, you're ransacking the bodega, or arranging weekend picnics in the park for all of the residents. And if you aren't doing any of those things, then the both of you are curled up on your sofa, flipping through magazines, or reading poetry together. It isn't even a conscious thought anymore; not on your end, at least. It's become so normal to wake up, go about your morning routine, and then meet up with Wally come noon.

The other residents are getting suspicious, to say the least. Julie hounds you about it each time you have a sleepover (at least twice a week), Eddie has started wiggling his eyebrows in your general direction each time he sees you together, and even Howdy in all of his obliviousness gives you a picnic basket of food randomly one weekend for, "your date with Wally. On the house!"

You're not sure if the others are teasing Wally as much as they're teasing you, or if he'd even notice, but you know it's only a matter of time before someone makes an implication that you can't come back from. You're essentially bracing yourself for the question, the one everyone has yet to ask–what are you guys?

Julie is hosting a 'color-by-numbers' event at her house this evening, and nearly everyone will be in attendance. And if they asked you the question, you wouldn't have an answer. Not a clear one, anyway. You and Wally are friends; you can say that with confidence. You're each other's confidants. Wally has told you things he's never told anyone else. How Barnaby has spent a lot of time teaching him how to recognize his emotions, and how he gets lonely, sometimes. Was almost always lonely before you moved to Home. How he is so scared to lose you and the others, the anxiety of the thought alone renders him paralyzed if he thinks about it for too long. He trusts you, and you trust him, and you love him, even more so. You don't really know what to make of that.

So, there isn't one answer to the question of what are you guys? There are a dozen, jumbled and criss-crossed and tangled, and you can't pull them apart alone. You'd need Wally's help, and that would mean confessing, and you're not willing to do that. It could ruin everything.

When late afternoon rolls around, you're ready to go. You're wearing your favorite outfit, and your hair is styled to perfection. You've even put perfume on; the kind Howdy made for you from fresh berries, and you don't know why that matters or if Wally can even smell, but–

You're getting ahead of yourself. Getting nervous. Now isn't the time for a freak-out. You take one last look in the mirror, steel your shoulders, and set off for Julie's house.

"Yay, you're here!" Julie throws open the door, tugging you inside before you even get the chance to knock. "You're the last guest to arrive. Now we can really get the party started!"

You wave at the others as you step into the living room. Sally is here, serenading Barnaby with a ballad you've never heard before while he closes his eyes, nodding along with her voice. Eddie and Frank are bickering about something, but Eddie is borderline giggling, so you know it isn't serious. Howdy is getting his paints all lined up in a row, face pinched in concentration. And Wally is sitting in front of the couch, back propped up against it. Your eyes meet his, and he smiles at you softly, stealing the breath from your throat. You stare at him for longer than is appropriate, and you know this because Julie clears her throat quietly, and pulls you to sit down on the floor next to her.

"Everyone got their color-by-number sheets, paints, and brushes?" Julie asks just as she places a sheet of paper in front of you. "Let's begin, then!"

It's fun. It always is, with this group. Barnaby is teasing Julie for painting outside of the lines, and Sally and Howdy have turned it into a competition to see who can finish their painting the fastest. You're happy, laughing along and trying not to spill paint water as you bump elbows with those around you. No one is as good an artist as Wally, but they certainly try, and he's all too happy to help Barnaby get the tiny bits with a detail brush, or help Eddie select the best shade of red. He makes polite conversation, and tells these silly little jokes that aren't really that funny but everyone laughs anyway, and even offers to clean the brushes once the paintings are finished, but–something isn't right. You can tell by looking at him that he's got something on his mind. His eyes are foggy, and his smile doesn't quite stretch his face the way it usually does.

He heads into the kitchen with a cup of dirty paintbrushes, and you quietly murmur to Julie, "I'm going to go help him. Be right back."

You don't give her time to react before you're on your feet, hurrying after him. You sidle up to him, silently watching as he runs each brush under the water, using his fingers to clear the paint away. He doesn't turn to look at you, and so you duck your head forward to try and catch his gaze. He positively avoids eye contact.

Okay. So, something is upsetting him, then.

"Wally?" You try, keeping your voice even. "Are you alright?

He's silent for a moment, hands stilling beneath the faucet. And then, "No. Not really."

He is never usually this upfront about his emotions. New to acknowledging them, he typically spends a lot of time deciphering what he's even feeling before discussing it with you. You'd just seen him yesterday. He was fine and happy and sweet as he dropped you off at your home, and waved goodbye. This–the coolness to his voice, and the stilted look on his face– is a recent development.

"You're mad at me," you say, slowly. The words don't feel right on your tongue. The two of you never fight. You've never even seen him angry. "Aren't you?"

He drops the paint brushes into the sink and sighs. Actually sighs. "No. Not mad at you."

"Mad at something I did, then?" You ask.

He turns to look at you, finally. He is nearly the same height as you, just a tiny bit shorter, but he's able to look directly into your eyes. His mouth is stiff and straight, and you hadn't noticed from far away, but his eyes look dull up close. Lifeless.

"Barnaby said something to me, earlier today," he tells you. "I've been thinking about it."

"Okay," you nod, unsure of where this is going.

"He said, 'if they haven't returned your feelings by now, it's probably because they don't feel the same way, pal,'" Wally does his best Barnaby impression, but it's too slow and a little flat. "And then you came inside, and you sat next to Julie and Howdy! So, I think it must be true. And I am very, very not happy about that. Very…sad. Yes, that's it. I'm sad."

Your heart does this weird thing in your chest, and your stomach tightens. His feelings? What exactly are they specifically? You've upset him, somehow, without even meaning to. You've made him sad without getting a say-so. If he'd just talk to you, you could explain. You could clear things up.

You reach out to take his hand. Physical affection is still new to him, and you know that. You try to be careful; try not to push him. He is learning more and more every single day, and you know that he's grown to love hand-holding. You tangle your fingers with his, and his cheeks go a little pink. You can't stop staring at them.

"Wally," you begin, trying to keep your voice level despite the butterflies in your belly fluttering around because of his touch. "Remember a few months ago, when we talked about how you have to tell me when you're feeling lonely, because I can't just know all on my own?"

He nods. "I remember."

You flash him a small, gentle smile. "Good. Okay, so–all emotions are like that. You have to tell someone what you're feeling. They can't see into your mind."

"But," he starts in a huff, foot tapping against the tiled floor, "Barnaby said-"

"I know what he said," you carefully cut in, giving his hand a little squeeze. "But, this is just like when you're lonely. I can't understand how to help, or make you feel better until you tell me about it. Okay?" He nods. "Alright, so…why don't you try and explain what feelings I supposedly haven't returned."

"It's hard," he says. He lets go of your hand, and leans back against the countertop. "It's different from sadness, or loneliness. I know what they feel like. And I know happiness, too, and even anger. But this is–I don't know what to call it."

You hum, mulling over his words. "Well, can you tell me what it feels like? Physically, I mean. Like when you're sad and your eyes burn, or when you're lonely and your chest hurts."

"It's like," he closes his eyes for a moment. "Hot. My cheeks feel warm, like when I help Poppy take her cookies out of the oven, and the air hits my face."

"Okay," you say. "Good. Keep going."

"And sometimes my stomach, just–I don't know. It feels like there are tiny worms inside, wriggling around," he says.

You think you understand what he's trying to explain. What feeling he's attempting to map. You know it all too well; have been beating it back with a stick to keep it at bay in his presence for weeks and weeks. Still, you don't want to project anything onto him. So, you wave a hand and urge him to continue.

"Sometimes, when you hug Julie, I just get so mad," he murmurs. He is looking at you now, all wide eyes and clenched fists down by his sides. "And when you and Sally go on walks, and she holds your hand, I can't-" He cuts himself off, and takes a deep breath. "Barnaby says it isn't fair to feel like that. He says it's selfish, but I just–I can't help it."

Your lungs seem to stop working within your body, air stuck in your throat. You can't open your mouth; can't unhinge your jaw. You have no way to expel it.

"When you hold my hand, it tingles," he takes a step towards you. "I made Barnaby teach me how to hug because I wanted to do it with you."

You remember that whole debacle. When you first moved to Home, about a month into your friendship, you'd tried to give Wally a hug. He had totally gone limp in your arms, unaware of how to even hug back. And then, suddenly, a couple of weeks later, he'd gotten better. Was able to slide one arm around your waist. It progressed further with more experience, and now, he is perhaps the best hug-giver in all of Home.

You blink at him. Manage to wheeze out, "You learned how to hug…for me?"

"Yes," he nods. He takes another step towards you, the toes of your shoes touching, and the look in his eyes cannot be described as anything but hopeful. He raises both hands up, up, and cups your cheeks. "I've been watching Frank and Eddie a lot. Barnaby says they have a special kind of love. That they–they're partners, and they've promised themselves to each other."

Your ears are practically on fire, your entire face so hot you know Wally must be able to feel its warmth.

His thumb swipes along the apple of your cheek. "I know that their touches are special. Different from how Barnaby and I touch, or Julie and Sally do. I want–I've been watching them, and I want to have what they have, with you."

"Sometimes, they say 'I love you' to each other, and I know they mean that in a special way, too," He smiles now, soft. Rose-petal delicate around the edges. "I want-"

"Wally," you squeeze your eyes shut so tight you see pops of color behind the lids. Your heart feels as though it is clambering for an escape, trying to make its way up your throat. "Stop, please. I can't–you don't even understand what you're saying right now. You don't know what love is. You don't know what it means."

"That's not fair," he whispers. He brings your face closer to his. "You asked me to explain, so I did. And it isn't–it's not fair for you to decide what I do or don't understand. I'm trying my best."

"I know," you say on an exhale.

"I told you how I feel," he goes on.

"I know," you echo.

"And I know what it means to want to hold someone," he murmurs. "I know, now. I didn't before."

"Before what?" You ask, despite your better judgement.

His eyes sparkle, just a little. Just enough. "Before you."

"Love is a heavy thing, Wally," you tell him. Your knees feel weak, and this is so hard to take in, so hard to conceptualize because you've never let yourself entertain the thought before. But you're trying to get the words out, for him. He deserves your honesty. "When you promise yourself to someone, it's difficult to take it back."

"I wouldn't want to take it back," he rushes out. One of his hands moves around to press against the base of your neck. "Why would I want to take it back?"

"Well," you begin, slow, "you could become unsure-"

"I won't," he interrupts, impatient and jittery.

"You could decide that you didn't mean it."

"Never," he says, almost startled. "If this feeling in my belly and my head and my chest is love, I don't–I'll do everything I can to make sure that it never goes away."

"There are lots of ways to love somebody," you argue, but it sounds weak, even to your own ears. Futile. You are fighting a losing battle, and you know it.

"Stop," he pleads, resting his forehead against yours. He closes his eyes. "Just tell me. Was Barnaby right? Do you really not feel the…the same way about me?"

You laugh at this, wet and sticky in the back of your throat. "Has Barnaby ever been right about anything?" You tease.

"Rarely," Wally says with a grin.

"I love you," you tell him. "Like, the same way that Frank and Eddie love each other. I love you like a promise."

"Like a promise," he repeats. He moves back, far enough that you can see how big his smile stretches his face, but he's still got one palm on your cheek, and the other on your neck. "Like-"

He leans forward and presses a closed-mouth kiss to your lips, pulling away with a little smack, and a triumphant, "Muah!"

Your eyes go so wide you fear they might roll out of your head, and your face is so hot it might as well be spewing flames. Wally is standing there, looking pleased with himself and the tiniest bit smug, and a laugh startles its way up your throat like bubbles. You playfully shove at his shoulder, and fall into him as you laugh harder.

"I saw Frank and Eddie do that, too," he tells you, one arm wrapping around your waist.

"Of course you did," you mumble into his neck, grin splitting your face. "That's not–it wasn't quite right, but the effort was there."

"I'll get better with practice," he says.

Scandalized, you pull away to look at him, mouth agape. "Wally Darling! Are you flirting with me right now?"

"Yes," he says, blunt. He smiles bright and pretty, and boops your nose with his finger. "I've read two of Julie's romance books. I'm a very fast learner."

You return his smile, and press a hand to your chest, right over your heart. You feel positively full to bursting, and you know that, whatever comes next, things won't be smooth sailing always. Wally has a lot of growing to do, and you're going to have to learn to support him along the way. Love is not clear-cut; isn't written in permanent ink on notebook paper. It ebbs and flows like watercolor paint, and can wash away as quickly as it came.

But–Wally looks at you, skin yellow-orange beneath the dull, overhead lights, and he grins wide and infectious and so, so pretty. He leans forward to press another kiss to your cheek, smacking a second, "muah!" into your ear, and it isn't everything. It isn't an answer, or the end-all be-all. But it is good, and right. And it is enough.

[staawberru]

my childhood friend wrote a gay omegaverse faction about me! chapter 6

A sorry for not posting yesterday! I had a medical emergency and couldn’t get anything done :(

TW this chapter contains sexual assault if that is something that bothers you please don’t read!! Nothing goes in just non consensual kissing and touching.

chapter one | next chapter | last chapter | masterlist

Your pov

   When Jobie grabbed you, you were shocked. You were shocked by the force he put into it, the fact he managed to pull you out of the chair was impressive. You were also shocked about the audacity, why would he do something like that? But most of all you were shocked about what he did next. 

    “Ow what the fuck dude,” you fell on the floor and your head hit his bed frame. Jobie looked uncaring and he sat on your stomach. That knocked the air out of your lungs, and as you gasped for breath Jobie decided he wanted to take that sweet sweet air back. He jumped on your stomach again and all the progress was gone. This happened a couple of times, you were to focus on trying to breathe again you didn’t really grasp what he was doing. After a while he finally let you breathe, then you realized what was happening. 

   “Jobie what the fuck let me go,” you yell. You try to wiggle away all you need is to get him off you and you're free. No doubt you could overpower him, but could you? Maybe he was stronger than he looked. He was keeping you down with his body weight. You'd expect a 5 '3 midget to be light as a feather but of course he’s not. But this made Jobie mad. I mean how dare you try and escape? So what’s the most logical thing to do in this situation? Of course it’s to wrap his arms around your neck and squeeze. This quickly put you into action, you tried to get his hand off but it didn’t work. The only thing it did was pull him closer till he was right above your face. You saw him smile.

    “You're perfect like this, right under me,” Jobie kissed you. Your eyes widened his hands releasing from your neck. Now their new place is your hair. His fingers wrap around your hair like snakes looking for prey, but the thing is you're the prey. You didn’t know what to do for one, You were dizzy because of the lack of air, but two, your childhood friend was kissing you! a boy was kissing you! You’ve been kissed before this isn’t your first time. But it’s been awhile. The last time it was with the second hottest girl in middle school. And kissing a boy was a total step down! Jobie stops assaulting your lips and moves down towards your neck. It was still irritated when he was choking you so you flinched when his lips made contact with it. You can feel the way his mouth twisted upwards into a smile on your red neck, he’s liking this. He kissed your neck all over repeatedly. You didn’t like this of course you don’t but you were saving all your energy. Jobie started to suck on your neck and a shiver ran through your body. You hated this, you wanted to rip your skin off. You don’t know why you haven’t done anything. you guess you just feel completely worthless in this moment, like you're just a stain on the floor. 

   Jobie continued to suck on your neck but now he was getting more handsey. He started to touch around your body. Frist your head then your arms. Jobie sat up still on your stomach. He admired the artwork he had made on your body unwillingly. Then he looked at you, and your beautiful face. 

    “You're absolutely perfect,” his smile widened. It’s no longer a smile you ever want to see again. Your face twists into one of anger, how dare he? 

    “Aw that’s not a good look on you,” he teased with a giggle. 

    “But hey, you're just a boy right?” He twirls your hair with his fingers. He looked more relaxed, almost like he was expecting you to just submit. 

    “I’m just a boy too, I can’t help myself either.” He leaned forward and rested his chin on his arms. 

     “Why would you do this,” you ask, seething “Is it Because you hate me so much?” You lift your head up to look at him.  

      “Hate you!” He laughed. “I love you idiot. That’s why I’m doing this.” He wrapped his hands around your chest. Love you? Doesn’t he have a boyfriend, why would he love you? You’ve treated him like trash the last couple of years. You’ve pushed him away, you yell at him. Why the fuck would he love you? 

    “Aww you look so confused,” he giggled. He sat back up.    

    “Your perfect for me.” He rubbed his hand all over your chest, and then his hand started to rub your nipple. A wave of unease rushed through your body. you push him off of you. You don’t know why you waited it was like your body was locked into place. It doesn’t matter now because Jobie was under you. Now it was your turn to grab him by the neck. You weren't as merciful  as Jobie was. Tears started to build up in his eyes, but you could care less. You Kinda hoped he would die. It was like finally getting rid of a mosquito that’s been sucking your blood. Jobie started to reach for you. You heard the door open but assumed it was nothing, not until you heard someone talk you stopped.

    “What the ffffuuuucccckkkk.” you loosened your grip on jobies neck. You looked over to see Juney and Kendyl looking at you both, you looked down at Jobie to see him looking at them so innocently like you were in the wrong. He was crying now, and your anger got the best of you and you punched jobie, or tried too. You were stopped by a loud bang and then darkness. 

    When you opened your eyes you were somehow in the middle of a city with people walking all around you. You were from a smaller city with a lot less foot traffic, so this was a surprise for you. Another thing you noticed was that everyone smelled very strongly, or most people. You wanted to rip your nose off the blend of all the smells, good and bad mixed together and created the worst smell imaginable. It was hard to describe but it sucked. You were lost, and everything stunk, this was hell. 

   “Hey are you Ok?” You heard someone ask.

[rosaline-black]

ᴄᴏꜰꜰᴇᴇ ꜱᴛᴀɪɴᴇᴅ ᴄᴀʀᴅɪɢᴀɴ - ʀᴇᴍᴜꜱ ʟᴜᴘɪɴ

Category: Remus Lupin X fem reader

Summary: University muggle AU- Remus bumps into you in a lecture, like literally… and turns out you have a lot more in common than you originally had thought.

Freshers week had killed you. You knew uni was going to be night out mad but on mornings like this where you had an early lecture with a new class, you regretted going a little too hard with your flatmates.

“Y/n are you up?” Your flatmate lily called out creaking the door open, her ginger hair frayed, with dark circles making her eyes squint.

“Yep.. yep I’m up… what’s the time?”

“8:35…”

“SHIT!” Your class started in 25 minutes and you had only just woken up.

You managed to get dressed at the speed of light, a cozy cardigan and mom jeans being thrown on as quickly as possible. You fixed your wild hair and messily applied a little makeup to brighten your exhausted complexion.

You left the flat with ten minutes till class waving a quick goodbye to your friends before running to the lecture hall. Just as you got inside, with One minute to spare, a hard body collided with your own. All of your papers and your thermos that you’d been passed by your flatmate before you left, spilled everywhere the hot coffee staining your cream cardigan.

“Oh shit! Shit, I’m so sorry…” a very tall, mousy-haired boy turned around. He dove to the floor and collected your papers, his cheeks red with embarrassment.

“Your cardigan… I’m so sorry… I was heading to my seat and I didn’t see you there because I’m pretty tall you see and..and-”

“Calm down… I’m fine.. really just shhh…”

The mix of your now damp body, your banging headache, and this boy rambling all became a little too much as you rose your finger to his lips to shut him up. He immediately did as he was told and scrambled to give you your papers back.

As the lecturer entered everyone began getting seated, leaving you following after the boy, the only remaining seat being beside him. You could feel his guilty eyes planted on you as the lecture began.

“So you’re interested in literature huh?” His voice whispered.

“Yes, I am… I assume you’re the same?” You replied politely.

“Yes.. look I know you told me to shhh but I feel really bad about me being a clumsy wanker…”

You couldn’t help the small giggle that escaped your lips, another smile falling on his face.

“I’m Remus… Remus lupin…” he offered his hand

“I’m y/n.. y/n l/n…” you shook his hand and then turned away, now paying your full attention to the lecture.

Once the lecture had ended a couple of hours later, you were practically drifting into slumber. The boy beside you had noticed and carefully tapped your arm, resulting in you springing your eyes open.

“Remind me to never go on another night out when I have a lecture the following morning…”

He chuckled deeply and nodded following after as you both exited the lecture hall. His eyes followed your figure as he finally got a chance to take in your beauty. The way your hair, although messy, fell ever so perfectly and framed your face, the way your eyes twinkled at the end of the summer sun, you were mesmerizing, it took everything in him to not throw himself in front of a car over the fact he had greeted you by throwing coffee on you.

“Right better get back to my flat..”

“Same here I’m headed this way…”

Remus pointed in the same direction as your flat and the two of you laughed walking with each other. Truthfully he just wanted an excuse to spend more time with this pretty stranger.

“Freshers is killing you then huh?” Remus attempted to continue the conversation.

“Yes, it is! My friends are insistent on going out every night… and I mean don’t get me wrong I love drinking but every night… I just want to sleep…” you giggled lightly.

“Yeah I can relate to that one… my friends are just as bad… I’m more of a casual pub guy I guess… clubs are just so busy!”

“I completely agree! And it’s always packed and gross and just… oh here’s my flat block…”

Remus’s eyes widened “you’re kidding…”

“Uh no I’m not…” you shook your head confused.

“This is my flat block too!”

Both you and Remus burst into laughter “do you live alone?”

“No I live with three other guys… we all went to school together… what floor are you?” Remus asked as both of you got into the lift.

“Four…”

“We’re on the same floor!? Are you sure we don’t live together…” he joked

“Unless you’re secretly a woman then I’m not too sure…” you teased

Once the lift dinged to your floor both exited and went to walk in opposite directions down the corridor “right well it was nice to meet you, Remus.. apart from the uh.. coffee..”

Remus blushed deeply again “sorry.. again… and yeah it was lovely meeting you… uh if you ever want to go for coffee that does result being thrown all over you then my flat number is 106…”

You couldn’t help but blush yourself and smiled “Mines 112… I’m usually just binge-watching the office and reading so feel free to knock whenever…”

Remus nodded a little too enthusiastically before they both reluctantly departed. Unknown to each other both of them immediately sighed after entering their flats. Both are already growing crushes.

“What’s her name?” Sirius asked as he attempted to throw popcorn into James’s mouth.

“She doesn’t by chance live with a redhead called lily? I met her in my classes and I think I’m in love…” James uttered dramatically.

Remus rolled his eyes and sat with his friends “I’m not sure I haven’t been over there yet… and we haven’t had a class together since… I don’t wanna be some creep who just turns up on her doorstep..”

“Why don’t we all go? We could bring them like a cake or something for housewarming purposes…” James suggested with a mischievous glint in his eye.

“A cake? A fucking cake James? Oh yeah, nothing says raw sex appeal like a cake…” Remus countered sarcastically.

“Ooh, you have sex on your mind Mooney? Bloody hell I wanna see this girl come on…” Sirius announced springing to his feet and running out the door. Remus panicked and ran after him.

A knock on the door made you jump out of your skin. You were just dancing around in your kitchen to some Bowie and the loud bang halted you in your place.

Having just got out of the shower, it shocked you to have someone knock on your door so late in the evening, let alone when both your flatmates were out doing a food shop.

Apprehensively you opened the door and the site before you was pretty confusing. A guy with shoulder-length dark hair was leaning against the door frame with a smirk, while the boy you couldn’t stop thinking about was wide-eyed and panting behind him.

“Uh… hello?” You questioned

“Hello beautiful I’m Sirius… my friend here Remus said some girls lived down the hall and well I thought I’d introduce myself…” Sirius stated with a flirty smirk.

Remus looked completely horrified. The last thing he needed was his friend, who seemed to get any girl he wanted, going after the one girl he had taken a huge liking to.

“Well hello Sirius… my friends are currently food shopping so it’s just me… and hi Remus..” you said making a point of waving at the lanky boy who looked at a loss.

“We were out…” a female voice called out from behind the two boys. Lily and Marlene stood shopping bags in hand as they looked at the two boys judgmentally.

“Marlene.. lily this is Remus and Sirius…” you introduced opening the door wider so your two flatmates could pack away the shopping.

“Pleasure…” Marlene muttered sarcastically as she barged past the boys with lily following after.

“Is there something you wanted?” You asked politely realizing the two boys were still standing there.

“Well sorry y/n we were just… well he was-”

“What my dear pal Remus was trying to say is we’d love to come in.. have a couple of drinks get to know our new neighbours..” Sirius stated confidently.

You chuckled lightly and as your two friends simply murmured in agreement the two boys waltzed in, not before texting their over two friends to come and join in on the phone.

Turns out James and lily had met previously in one of their shared classes, the two of them chatted away happily. Marlene got along well with Sirius and Peter, she and Sirius bonded over their dating tips for men and women. This left you and Remus sitting together, both of you too nervous and awkward to start up a conversation.

“I see you got the stain out…” Remus’s voice called out after a prolonged silence.

You looked down at the cardigan you’d thrown on and smiled softly. It was the same one he’d stained with coffee just a few weeks prior.

“Yes I did.. was hard though I was going to knock on your door for the invoice..” you teased enjoying his gruff laugh.

“I know you hated me apologising but… I got you this as an apology…”

Remus rifled in his pocket for a bar of coffee flavoured chocolate. When he saw it he knew he needed to get it but just wasn’t sure when to give it to you.

Your eyes lit up at the site and you immediately threw your arms around him “This is my favourite chocolate brand!?”

“Me too!!” He said just as enthusiastically which made you chuckle even harder.

*********

The following months flew by with casual encounters and Remus doing everything to accidentally run into you. The annoying part was you were none the wiser, your friends however weren’t as oblivious.

Remus was currently doing his usual walk home, which consisted of walking past your apartment and loitering in the corridor just so he may be able to bump into you. Today however it wasn’t you he bumped into.

“Remus? Not loitering about again are you?” Marlene said rather bluntly as she left the flat.

“Oh no… I was just-”

“Save it… I know you’re mad for her and between me and you the feelings are mutual… so I’m going to help you…”

Remus was in shock but appreciated Marlene’s blunt attitude. He needed to take this into his own hands.

You had just come out of your last lecture for the day. Marlene had mentioned how no one was going to be home which was a little odd. But either way, you made your way home.

By the time you’d come up the stairs and gotten to the corridor where the entrance to your flat sat, it was clear what was going on.

There stood your favorite boy with a bouquet of flowers, a box of your favorite chocolates, and the cutest nervous smile you had ever did see. You were ready to grab him by the shoulders and snog him right then and there.

“Look y/n… I don’t think it’s too shocking by now to realise that I like you a lot… and if we could maybe… go out sometime… on a date, I’d be honoured…” Remus stated proudly. It was clear he’d rehearsed it in his head which to you made it even sweeter.

“Of bloody course…” you answered taking the flowers and chocolates and placing them on the ground. Remus furrowed his eyebrows and panic set in.

“Don’t you like them?”

“I love them… I can’t kiss you if there are flowers in your face though can I?”

“Guess not…”

Both of your cheeks were now hot with anticipation. You bent up and gently let your lips glide across his. You struggled not to smile throughout the kiss, it was so sweet and soft just like the boy before you

“About fucking time…” Marlene’s voice called out from the end of the hall. Unknown to you, all your new and old friends had gathered to watch the interaction. Sirius’s idea of course

[sketchyelvenasss]

For the "I love you" ask, 1 or 22 for Lyvius?

Tysm for the ask! I am going to apologize now, because it got angsty, and kind of long-ish. Also not verbatim, but inspired by the prompt 🤗

22. Muffled, from the other side of the door.

(Bonus: Screen redraw)

Lyvius didn’t know what to do anymore. It had been a few days now and his eyes were red and swollen. He had prayed to the Maker he didn’t believe in, and the Creators he was certain didn’t exist. His hands still shook when the anger and grief hit him like the tide crashing on off shore rocks. He almost didn’t care if, right at that moment Southern Thedas was swallowed whole by the blight, and dragged down to the Deeproads.

It felt like it was yesterday that Rhys was crying into his shoulder. Oh how he had wanted to tell his son that he didn’t need to keep going. But he couldn’t. The state of the South might as well have been his fault. And how could he have doubted his son? He truly believed that if anyone could have stopped Solas it was Rhys and his friends.

And now…Rhys was just… gone. Lost in the Fade. Did Dorian even know? All the awakened wild magic in the North had disrupted the sending crystal's energy, so he hadn’t been able to communicate at all with his husband. Lyvius knew it wasn’t fair, but he couldn’t help think that those friends of his—that partner—failed him. The letter written by that crow, now crinkled and stained with tears, was still on the bedside table. There he was at Skyhold, laid on his side, on top of the sheets, staring at it. Like he’d done any better to protect Rhys.

A knock on the door down the stairs startled him from his thoughts. He tried to ignore it at first. Whatever the problem was, he didn't care. The visitor, however, wasn’t deterred by Lyvius’ silence. They knocked calm and consistent every few moments. As much as he should have wanted the distraction he groaned, as he threw on a shirt and dried his eyes on the fabric, before dragging his feet down to the door. 

“I thought I had said, do not disturb me unless the sky itself ripped open again!”

The knocking had stopped when Lyvius reached the heavy wooden door. He thought maybe whoever was there had left after hearing Lyvius’ cracked voice. He didn’t want to check to see if that was true, there were only two people in the world he wanted to see right now, so he turned to head back up.  The thump of a single fist against the wood made him freeze, and his throat tightened as he heard the voice from the other side.

“Amatus…”

“How—“ Lyvius croaked out, too stunned to move. This had to be it, he’d finally gone mad— or attracted a demon.

“Lyvius, my love please, open the door.”

Even if it was a demon, in that moment Lyvius didn’t need anything more to break him. Tears welled in his eyes at the sight of Dorian’s face. He didn’t need to ask to know why he was here. The man’s deep brown eyes were sunken and solemn. Lyvius didn’t hold his tears in as Dorian’s warmth engulfed him. His hands grasping the fabric of the mage’s robes as if he’d disappear before his eyes if he let go.

“Dorian— Rhys… h-he’s—“

“Shhh… I know.” Dorian cooed as he patted the elf’s long silver hair. “I’m here. If anyone can bring him back to us, it’s those friends of his. We can still hope, amatus.” He said keeping the embrace tight while his husband cried into his shoulder.

[kmgkmg]

DAY 1 - KWON SOONYOUNG

word count: 3.0k...

pairing: soonyoung x gn!reader

synopsis: your neighbor soonyoung invites you to a friendly picnic, harmless right?

genre/s: fluff, non-idol!au, neighbors-to-lovers, choreographer!soonyoung

warnings: none!

rating: pg

a/n: a submission for k-vanity’s idols over flowers event. main flowers: roses x romance and sunflower x comedy, ribbons: black x picnic date. inspired by day 1 by red velvet! first soonyoung fic hehe (everyone cheered) and def one of my favorites i've written thus far!

Soonyoung’s hands were trembling as he prepared to knock on your door. The worst you could do is say no, right? Wrong. The worst you could do is say yes to his invitation and have him be a nervous mess in front of his friends. It was all Jeonghan’s fault, really.

You moved in next door to Soonyoung around seven months ago, but he was still shy around you. He’s unable to live down the embarrassment he experienced because of his first words to you. Simple introductions should be shared between neighbors rather than long-winded ones. So all those months ago he practiced in front of his bathroom mirror around 60 times in order to perfectly say 15 words to you.

Good morning. I��m your next door neighbor, Kwon Soonyoung. It’s a pleasure to meet you.

Nice and simple. Yet, when he went outside of his apartment that day, he saw you moving your things in with your friends and decided to greet you later. Later ended up being dinnertime after he heard the chatter and noise die down. He walked over with some paper towel as a harmless housewarming-welcome-to-the-building gift. But what he wasn’t expecting was for you to walk out in your pajamas with a mug full of tea. You gasped out of horror at the fact that you not only spilled on yourself, but also at the fact that you spilled on an unsuspecting stranger’s very nice, very expensive looking white T-shirt. The tea had turned colder than you thought so luckily neither of you were burned, but you both couldn’t stop apologizing to one another.

Soonyoung handed you the paper towel he bought, “I really just meant to come over to greet you, I feel so bad for causing this mess. Please, let me have your clothes dry cleaned.”

You looked down at your clothes, an oversized black hoodie with bleach stains on it from past box dyeing endeavors and baggy gray sweatpants from your high school.

“But aren’t you mad that I spilled on you? I mean that shirt looks like it’s,” You pause to look at the writing on his chest, “oh God, it’s Balenciaga? I mean, I can’t pay it all at once but installments?”

He hurriedly shook his hands, “No, please don’t worry about my clothes! This was a present from my workplace.”

“If you insist. But at least let me pay for your coffee someday, please. I know this is an awful time to say this, but hi. My name’s Y/N L/N and I just moved in next to you,” You bend down to place your mug on the floor and wipe the excess tea off and onto your pants before extending a hand for him to shake.

Now is the time, Soonyoung, you've prepared for this all day.

“Good morning, Kwon Soonyoung I am.”

It’s 8pm, that is anything but morning. Did he just say I am at the end of his sentence?

You tried your best to hide your laugh behind your hand, but it was too late since Soonyoung was already mortified at himself.

“I’m going to go back into my apartment now…” He trailed off, scurrying away before you could say anything else.

You were left standing in front of your door, with spilled tea seeping further and further into your clothes by the minute and holding a roll of paper towel in your hand. That was indeed a memorable first impression of him.

Your apartment complex had occasional community activities as an attempt to create a bond between tenants, but Soonyoung always stuck by the people he knew. Joshua and Jeonghan, who were roommates on the seventh floor and longtime friends of his, always teased Soonyoung for self-proclaiming himself as an introvert when they saw him as anything but one. Yet, his true introverted personality shined whenever he was around you. He hid behind others or found excuses to avoid you. He couldn’t risk making you think he was even more of a fool than your first encounter with him.

You yourself were convinced that he hated you. You spilled tea on his shirt worth hundreds of dollars, anyone would reasonably be pissed. Your fears were only confirmed as he was seemingly doing everything in his power to keep away from you. You tried to approach him several times, but he always kept his distance. One time he even tripped into an ice sculpture, causing it to fall and break during a winter party. It was even more tragic since one of the maintenance people was retiring and the sculpture was of the employee’s face. Soonyoung broke the poor man’s face. Not literally, but it certainly killed the mood of the farewell party. He looked around the room in horror, but when his eyes landed on you he averted his gaze so quickly that you thought he would strain a muscle in his neck.

Still, every time you met on the elevator or in the hallway he would nod and share quick salutations with you. You felt indebted to him over the Balenciaga shirt and would bring him coffee weekly on Mondays to start his week.

Back to the present, Soonyoung bit his lip softly, still contemplating on inviting you. As he reached out his fist to knock on the door, it opened with your surprised expression staring back at him. How did he always manage to time things so impeccably with you?

“Hi Soonyoung!” You beamed after regaining your composure after the initial surprise.

He was speechless, well aware that you probably thought he was a weirdo for staring at you without saying anything. How could you be so radiant? Your smile was brighter than the sun, at least to him.

You raised an eyebrow, “Soonyoung?”

“S-sorry! Um, some other tenants and I are having a picnic at Fallin’ Flower Botanical Garden and…well…would you like to come?” He handed you an invitation that his coworker Minghao designed for the occasion.

You looked down at the invitation, smiling softly at it. You weren’t necessarily smiling over being invited, plenty of other tenants invited you to events, but you were smiling because Soonyoung was inviting you. Maybe he didn’t resent you after all. You were engrossed in your own thoughts, oblivious to his growing restlessness since you technically hadn’t said a yes or no.

“There’s also going to be some of our coworkers and friends, about ten people so far. It’s really low-stakes, but we are handing out the invitations a month in advance so you have time to decide if you wanna go,” He explains in more detail.

“It sounds like fun! Thank you for inviting me,” You made sure your gratitude was known by giving him a brief hug. He froze, something that you assumed was because you made a move in your friendship too quickly. But in actuality, he was freaking out.

The weeks leading up to the picnic you made more of an effort to make conversation with him. Your job had flexible hours as long as you clocked over 30 hours weekly, your manager was satisfied. Therefore, it was easy to cater to Soonyoung’s time.

You went to Jeonghan to ask for more details about Soonyoung's schedule, something which he eagerly revealed to you. It made you wonder why, but you didn’t question it too much. You would bring up the most cliche questions, from ‘What should I bring?’ to ‘Have you noticed the snow melting lately?’. Soonyoung was a bit surprised that he would run into you way more by chance lately, but he didn’t mind it. He looked forward to your conversations, it was a way for him to energize himself before or after working on new choreographies with his dance crew at work.

You also enjoyed talking to him, he was still your clumsy neighbor, but he was also extremely funny and caring.

After Jeonghan shared Soonyoung’s schedule with you, he would notice you and Soonyoung were completely focused on each other. Whether he was checking his mail, walking to and from the parking lot, or on the elevator, he tried to make it his mission to periodically see how you guys were progressing. Your and Soonyoung’s ambiguous relationship became the central topic of Jeonghan and Joshua’s nightly gossip. Soon enough they got the rest of the people invited to the picnic to go along with the plan that Jeonghan had concocted.

Soonyoung and you planned to meet in the parking lot where he would drive the two of you to the garden. The rest of the group, Soonyoung informed you, would be meeting the two of you at the garden. You looked at yourself in the full length mirror of your bedroom one last time, paying attention to the dark wash jeans and light green shirt you chose to wear. The invitation didn’t specify a dress code and Soonyoung never gave you a theme, so you thought the outfit fit spring well. You slid on your white sneakers, locked your door, and headed down to meet him.

The parking lot was pretty vacant since it was the early afternoon on a Sunday and people usually were still lounging in their homes at this time. You spotted Soonyoung’s car and picked up your pace to head over to the passenger’s side. Knocking on the window, Soonyoung jumped from the sudden noise before turning and seeing you waving at him. He waved back with a smile adorn on his face before unlocking the door.

You got into the car, noticing his attire of a tan suit with a patterned tie to match, “I didn’t know the dress code was so formal, can you give me a second to change?”

Soonyoung’s smile dramatically becomes a frown, “No! I mean, you can change if you want but you look shining how you are right now. You always look good, Y/N.”

Feeling shy at his words, you get into the car holding the wicker basket full of food you prepared, “Thank you, Soonyoung. Where should I put this…?”

“Oh, here! Let me put it in the back seat,” He offered, grabbing the basket and putting it beside the tote bag that you could see had food containers packed in it as well.

In the car, you were conversing with Soonyoung as usual. The garden was about a 50 minute drive from the apartment complex and you occupied yourselves accordingly. Soonyoung had texted you a playlist link about two days in advance and you had added some songs, making it a shared playlist. Another reason you liked him was because of his music taste, he seemed to know a wide range of music, and was really open to listening to all genres.

About halfway into the drive, his phone pings loudly, indicating that he received a text message.

“Sorry, would you mind reading the text I just got for me?” He asks cautiously.

You stopped playing with the rings you decided to accessorize with earlier. He was holding out his phone for you to take.

“There’s one text from Jeonghan,” You notify him, waiting for his approval to continue.

“Okay, what does it say?” He inquires, looking through his side mirror before switching lanes.

You continue, “None of us are able to make it anymore because Minghao put the wrong date on the invitations we handed out. You have fun with Y/N though, and then…there’s a winky face emoji and the cat kissing emoji?”

His ears turn red as you describe the emojis. Yoon Jeonghan, you are the devil incarnate.

Your mind starts spiraling, “Oh no, do I make them uncomfortable?”

“No, no! It’s not that!” Soonyoung fervently denies.

“There isn’t any other explanation for why your friends wouldn’t tag along I mean-” You persist.

“Y/N-”

“They were all on board until you said I was coming in the groupchat, that definitely means they hate me-”

“Y/N,” Soonyoung attempts again. He turns down the radio playing a pop song, “They didn’t come as a way to support me.”

“Support you?”

He taps his fingers on the steering wheel, trying to think if he should tell you of the conversation he had with Jeonghan and Joshua days ago. He could tell you were looking at him expectantly through the corner of his eye, time to spill the beans.

“They said that we like each other, crazy right?”

Silence followed, with you turning your gaze back to the road in front of you. Soonyoung had to save this atmosphere, but before he knew it he was telling you everything.

“Honestly, I have thought you were cute since I first saw you moving in. With each of our conversations, I only came to like you more and more, but I don’t mean to make this awkward! I know we’re only neighbors-turned-friends and I don’t want to ruin our friendship, so don’t worry I’ll get over my crush eventually.”

More silence…

“You don’t have to get over your crush on me,” You stated, thinking back at the past month and how you have grown a deep fondness for your neighbor.

Soonyoung’s head whipped towards you, “Does that mean?”

You grinned at him, “Yeah, I like you too.”

He tried his best to drive safely and maintain the speed limit but it was a nearly impossible mission for him. How could he contain his excitement over the person he likes returning his feelings?!

You arrived at Fallin’ Flower Botanical Garden a little past noon and luckily there were plenty of spots to sit down at. The garden was even more beautiful than the pictures online. It was the start of spring, yet everything was either blooming or in full bloom. Roses, honeysuckles, cosmos, daisies, tulips, daffodils, mugunghwas, and so much more were growing throughout the place. The various vibrant hues mixed with the luscious green grass left you in awe.

Soonyoung had brought a pastel tiger-patterned blanket to sit on, something that made you only like him more because of his stubbornness in identifying with the animal.

You had sat down next to a pond where there were ducks and their ducklings swimming about and the weather was temperate. After about 20 minutes, you could tell Soonyoung was antsy.

“Sorry, I need to go find the bathroom real quick!” Soonyoung excused himself. He slid on his shoes, not even bothering to put the shoes fully on his heels before running off to find the nearest restroom.

Leaving you alone, you opened your phone and scrolled through the notifications you had missed. Opening TikTok, you looked at a video your best friend Seokmin had sent you. It was his attempt at a new dance challenge, with your mutual friend Seungkwan. You placed the phone down on the blanket, trying to follow the hand motions your friends were doing. You were never the most coordinated person and you only found yourself growing more and more frustrated at the lack of ability in doing the dance correctly.

Soonyoung headed back to your spot in the garden, it was easy to find since you decided to sit by the roses. He saw you from afar…dancing? He watched silently for a while more before approaching your blanket.

“Are you trying to dance to the new song Eric Nam released?”

It was your turn to be startled since you were completely unaware he had come back, “Y-yeah, my friends sent me a TikTok dancing to it and I have never been good at these challenges so I just tried it to kill the time. I can’t do it though.”

He admires your hard work, with your hair slightly messy from dancing.

“What if I taught you?” He proposes.

“You know the dance?”

“Well it’s a bit embarrassing to admit but I actually created the choreography with my dance crew for Eric Nam,” He confesses.

“How is that embarrassing? That’s so cool!” You respond, “Please teach me, it would be an honor.”

“Well first you place your feet like this…” He instructs, getting into the proper position to teach.

Out of breath you both sat back down on the blanket, “That was so much fun, but I definitely worked up an appetite!”

“Well there’s this bakery where they make the bread vegetable shaped but then they actually taste like the vegetables! My friend Mingyu works there so I got a discount and got to skip the lines,” Soonyoung shows off the first item in his tote bag.

“No way, I’ve been wanting to get some bread from there! And you got the sweet pumpkin bread? That’s the one I’ve been wanting to try the most. They all look delicious, Soonyoung,” You rambled.

Because of your reaction, Soonyoung was proud of his purchase.

You went on to explain the first thing you brought, “I made chocolate cupcakes with strawberries dipped in white chocolate. The chocolate was mixed with orange food coloring so hopefully you can see since the strawberries were placed on top of the cupcakes,”

“They resembled carrots sprouting out of dirt,” Soonyoung finishes.

“Exactly, that was the plan!”

You both continued to show off the variety of food you brought, eating only a fraction of it since you both planned on way more people coming. After a few more hours of relaxing, the sun was starting to set and you decided to head back.

“Time is too precious, I wanna see you again tomorrow,” Soonyoung pouts on the drive back.

“We’re going to see each other anyway! Mondays are the days I bring you coffee, remember?” You remind him, reaching out to hold his hand he had resting on his leg.

“Oh, you’re right! But let me buy us coffee tomorrow, I am your boyfriend after all,” He squeezed your hand softly, with a warm smile to accompany it.

“So, Soonyoung, today is the first day of us dating?”

He brought your hand up to his face, with his hand still entangled with yours. Placing a soft kiss on your hand, he nodded, “Day one of forever.”

[idontplaytrack]

Hi I love your fics so much! I was wondering if I could request an Amber Appleton fic where reader is ambers girlfriend and finds amber in the bathroom after she found out her mom died and reader is there for her? and maybe some moments of the week after it happened and reader taking care of her? Thank you!

You’re Doing Fine

Amber Appleton x fem!reader

Warnings: angst, mentions of Amber’s parents’ deaths, coarse language, Amber doesn’t eat, fluff

“You're right by my side whenever I need you. Through the hardest times I'll be there for you.” — Seamless, Sabrina Carpenter

“Amber?” You called out quietly. You knew she was in here. She had to be— you saw her run in here. There was only one stall door that was closed, so you knocked on that door. “Amber, are you in there?”

“I’m fine.” Came a curt reply. Dismissive. But you hear her sniffle.

“Come outta there.” You cajoled.

“I’m okay, y/n. Just leave me alone.”

“Babe, you know there’s not a chance I would leave you alone right now.” You sigh softly, hearing the school bell go off and that meant it was now lunchtime for you and Amber. And whoever else had lunch this period, but yeah. Amber was your priority right now. She clearly was going through something after being pulled into the office to be talked to.

She abruptly unlocked the door and stepped out, face to face with you. Red eyes, and tear-stained cheeks. “My mom died. Oliver killed them both drunk driving.”

Your heart sank to the bottom of your stomach, in disbelief. “I ran away from her.”

“Amber…no that’s not on you.”

“Isn’t it?” She looked at you, tears brimming in her eyes again, “I was having fun while Oliver was doing god-knows-what to her.”

“You were practicing for an audition with Carnegie Mellon.”

Tears fell from her eyes as she looked away from you. You held her face in your hands. “Why’d she have to go?” Amber mumbles, “She was all I had left.”

You engulfed her in a hug, hoping it would give her even just a bit of comfort. “I should’ve never got mad at her for wanting to stay at Oliver’s. All she wanted was a roof over her head. She wanted the same for me, to be together with me. But I pushed her away.”

“Amber, it wasn’t safe at Oliver’s. You know that, you saved yourself. She didn’t want to hear you out, hear that you were worried about her safety. What Oliver did? Driving while knowing he was drunk, was unforgivable. He should not have done that.”

“Why didn’t I just go with her? Why did I happily stay at Donna and Ricky’s.” She rambles, now crying, “It’s all my fault. I could’ve stopped it— I could’ve stopped her getting into that car. Oliver could’ve just killed himself and not my mom too.”

“Baby, that’s— that’s—” You rubbed her back, “Amber, honey. You know that there’s nothing you could’ve done to stop her from joining him in that car.”

Immediately, she was reminded of past instances where she and her Mom squabbled and then she just got left alone while her Mom was at Oliver’s. A day or two later, she would show up in front of Amber with a black eye or a bruise elsewhere, worrying Amber. But her Mom says it was okay because he didn’t mean it and they actually really loved each other. Part of Amber wanted to scoff, the other part was heartbroken seeing her Mom injured.

“I know.” She takes in a deep, but shaky breath. “I…know. I just wish things were different, babe.” Amber starts to let go from the hug, so you do the same. Then, pressing a kiss to her forehead. “I just need some time, I guess. There’s so much going through my head right now.”

“Breathe, try and calm down. And just focus on getting through today. We’ll work everything out together after school.” You said while holding onto her hand, thumb brushing over her knuckles, “Okay? Can you promise me that?”

“Okay.” She nodded firmly, “Thanks.”

————

After school, you went with Amber to Donna’s place, where she’s been staying at after getting forced out of the bus. You offered to let her stay with you, but other than your friends and Donna, no one else knew you two were dating. So, Amber didn’t want to risk that being found out too. You knew her Mom would be accepting of it, but Amber was just scared that she wasn’t. So you both left it at that. As long as she felt safe and loved and happy with you, that’s all that really matters. Ricky left you and Amber alone seeing that she was upset, so he let you have the privacy downstairs in the living area while he headed up to his bedroom immediately. “Thanks, Ricky.” You said.

“No problem.” He replies while hurrying up the stairs. He also didn’t know what had Amber this upset, but he knew she was.

“Do you want to take a shower? We’ve had a long day. It could make you feel a little bit more awake and not all sweaty.”

“Okay.” She replied in a quiet voice, leading you to the bathroom upstairs after gathering a fresh set of clothes. You stopped for a second, “You want me to join you?” Looking at her, worried. “Yeah, I do. You can wear my clothes.” Amber confirms, “That’s why I took you up here with me, baby,”

“Alright, if that’s what you want, sure.” You kissed her on the cheek, stroking it with your thumb. She smiles lightly, pulling you into the bathroom and locking the door. You thought that she would’ve wanted to be alone right now, but you were definitely not going to complain about this— getting to spend even more time with her. You helped her shampoo her hair, then wash it. Then, you let her lather the soap on her body and wash it off while you began to wash your hair clean. It was quiet, but you could feel that she appreciated your presence. Amber stood before you, cupping your cheek in her hand, “I love you so much.”

“I know, babe.” You smile, backing away a little because the water was still running and constantly coming in between your faces.

“If I ever made you feel otherwise, I’m sorry.” She continues, reaching behind you to shut the water off, “Sometimes I don’t say it enough and I want you to remember that I do love you so much, I am so in love with you, y/n.”

You hugged her for the lack of better words, telling her an ‘I love you more’ in return. Then you both finished your showers and quickly got out and got dressed. When you walked out with Amber right behind you holding your hand, you came face to face with Ricky who’s just stepped out of his room. “Oh.” He says, a little startled. “Just heading to the kitchen to grab a snack and a drink. I’m watching a new movie on Netflix.”

“Sounds fun.” You stifled a laugh, cheeks hot as though you’d both just gotten caught for going down on each other out in the open.

“No judgement here, you two are dating. So…whatever you guys decide to do is none of my business. My mom will be home by 6 with dinner but until then, we’re on our own.” He says.

“Alright, Ricky.” You nodded, “Got it.”

~~~~~

“Amber, you gotta eat, sweetie.” Donna says softly, licking her lips.

“I’m not hungry.” She replied, resting her back against the chair.

You watched the whole situation unfold before your eyes, quietly putting down your spoon back into the bowl of oatmeal. Praying to whatever forces to hope that Amber wouldn’t get so upset that she yelled and cried again. It’s been two days since her Mother’s accident. And yesterday was fine, she was eating, staying hydrated and you made sure she got to sleep at a reasonable hour. Today? The morning’s barely started and she was refusing to eat even though she needs to eat. You couldn’t understand her rationale for refusing to eat, because you knew for a fact that you heard her stomach growling just 20 minutes before while you two were still cuddled together on the couch sleeping.

“I’m off to school.” She got up in a huff, grabbing her backpack and saying goodbye to Bobby.

Ricky shot you a concerned look, asking silently if you were going to follow her. “Don’t follow me. Eat your food.”

Your lip quivered, hands clasped together as you yourself tried to bite back the tears. “Fuck.” You sniffled.

“So…what’s—”

“I can’t say, Rick. I’m sorry.” You swallowed harshly, shoving a spoonful of the oatmeal into your mouth.

~~~~~

“So, she’ll be buried with your Dad. Yeah?” Donna confirms, “Don’t have to worry about the cost, I’ve got it covered.”

“What? Of course I have to. I need to pay you back.”

“Honey, not right now. You just focus on finishing your studies, you can pay me back slowly after that. I’m in no hurry to get the money back.”

Amber looks at you, you squeezed her hand. Donna continues, “Focus on graduating high school, doing well at the audition for Carnegie Mellon— then you can worry about working. Because once you are done with school, work will take over your life. You gotta cherish your youth, strive for a good balance between work and doing things that make you happy.”

~~~~~

After laying her Mom to rest, Amber hung around for a little while longer while Donna and Ricky drove to the grocery store to stock up on their groceries. You stayed with Amber, standing a distance away from her to let her have the privacy. “Okay, I’m ready to go.” She decided, walking up to you after dusting herself off.

“Okay.” You smooched her cheek, intertwining her fingers with yours.

“Can we go hang out? Just the two of us, baby?”

“Certainly can, babe.” You gave her hand a squeeze, flashing her a smile. Opening the door to the front passenger seat, Amber got in. Then so did you, on the other side. “Frozen yogurt?” You ask as you met her gaze. “Frozen yogurt.” She confirms with a nod.

“To the mall we go.” You smiled one hand holding onto her thigh as you started to drive.

~~~~~

The night before her flight to Pittsburgh, Bobby had to go to the vet in the wee hours of the morning. You drove them there, and that was where you two learnt that Bobby has a mass on his spleen causing him the pain.

When you three arrived back at Donna’s, you were mad with an equally confused and worried Donna. “Amber, where have you been? You missed your flight.”

“Bobby’s sick. We took him to the vet. I’m sorry.” She couldn’t say much, neither could you. You knew that Bobby was her best friend.

“I’m sorry, honey.” Donna’s face fell, hugging Amber immediately.

~~~~~

“Amber, there is no way you can be working seventy hours a week and go to school.”

“I’m dropping out.”

Oh, no.

“Dropping out? Amber, you can’t just throw it all away. This is about your future.”

“Stop.” Amber slams her notebook shut, “Stop. I really appreciate you and everything you have done for me. But you’re not her.”

“You’re not who?” Ricky asks hesitantly.

You ran out back, Amber leaves the house on her bike with Bobby. You weren’t sure how much of this you could take, and you wanted to be strong but you were human too. You were going to break as well if you kept getting pushed to your limits.

“y/n? Are you okay?”

“I just— I just need a little bit of time, I guess? With what’s going on with Amber, I never gave myself the time to cry, release my emotions and I can’t take it anymore— so I’m, I’m sorry but I gotta cry.”

“It’s okay, it’s okay to cry, sweetie.” She wraps you in a hug right away, rubbing your back, “Let it all out. It’s okay.”

~~~~~

After dinner that night, Amber returns to the house. You didn’t know that though, you were in the guest room. Yes, they had a guest room that Amber’s refused to sleep in since the beginning but Donna made you go in there so Amber would eventually follow suit. You hear knocks on the door, expecting it to be Ricky or Donna, but when you heard Amber’s voice, you shot up from the mattress to your feet. “Can I come in? Are you awake?”

You gasped, “Yeah. Yeah, come on in.”

“Hi.” She says softly, closing the door behind herself. Amber sits down next to you on the bed, “I’m sorry for saying all those things and running out just like that. I took the time while I was outside to think things through and I’m not dropping out. I’m going to finish school, just keep working part-time like I am now to save up for Bobby’s surgery and I talked to Donna. She’ll help me with the rest, then like we agreed, I will pay her the money back over time.”

“It’s alright.” You exhaled, “I’m glad you could figure it out. You’ll be okay.”

“We’ll be okay. I’m sorry for leaving, I shouldn’t have—”

You shook your head, “No, it did you sone good. It let you think everything through. It’s okay, I needed to cry to be honest with you.”

She caresses your cheek, pressing a tender kiss to your lips, “I love you. And I promise I’ll be better at talking to you about things. Okay?”

You nod, saying back, “Okay. I love you too.”

“I know it’s not much…but I got you your favourite donuts.” She held up the paper bag. You sniffed, chuckling shakily, “Aw, thank you baby.”

“Just a little something to make you smile I hope.” Amber puts her hand on your knee, “It’s been a long and tiring week. You’ve stayed by my side without complaints and I’m so thankful for that— for you. Please, take care of yourself too. Focus on yourself as well. Your life should not be just revolving around me and my emotions and things. But your own too.”

You nodded, fighting a falling tear, “I will, okay? Can you promise me you’ll do the same? You gotta eat when you need to eat, stay hydrated, get enough sleep. Don’t punish yourself.”

“I promise.” She told you wholeheartedly.

“You’re doing fine, Amber. You’re doing just fine. Take it easy, be kind to yourself. Don’t stress yourself out over things that aren’t in your control.”

“Thank you, y/n.” Her lips turned up into a smile again, “I really don’t know what I would have done without you, baby. Thank you for being strong for me.”

“We got this, Ams. You and me together, we’ll take on the world forever.”

“Forever.” Amber crashes her lips onto yours, passionate, and loving. “Just you and me, no matter where life takes us.”

🏷️ Tag list:

@ashecampos @auliisflower @cheesysoup-arlo @frogs00 @ludoesartnstuffs @pda128

💭A/N:

Finally catching up with requests. Hope you enjoyed this one. :’) see y’all in the next fic!!

[whyareyouhere66]

Okok so it’s totally ok if you don’t remember much because honestly I don’t either 😭

Loki x son!teen!reader this one is gonna have like, plot holes, but we’re gonna just ignore that- ok so some how, we don’t need to come up with a big back story, but for context reader ends up getting imprisoned (?) by the TVA with his dad Loki. Time skip, they end up in the void where they meet the other Loki variants, but once Alioth (the big purple fog time monster) starts coming after them, they all try to run for shelter but reader and Loki get separated. Maybe reader ends up with president Loki but has attitude with him because that Loki isn’t his actual dad. And all reader wants to do is find his dad, and vice versa with Loki. They end up finding each other and reader just runs and tackles him with a huge hug, both of them thinking they lost each other.

ANON this is so cute- it does have a few plot holes, likely, and I hope I did this request justice. please enjoy, and have a wonderful day/night wherever you are

[Almost] a Loss

Dad!Loki x !son!teen!reader

cw: violence, some blood (quick), implied death

x

All around, the landscape is gray, barren, and foggy. With nothing but wreckage littering the dirty ground, a few disheveled trees, it looks like something from your worst nightmares. 

Which that, it was.

You stand in the middle of this void, searching this dry ass landscape in hopes of seeing your father, Sylvie, any of them. But your eyes only see so far before any silhouette becomes blurred in the fog’s shadow. 

“Damn it.” You mutter- seeing no sign of him. The real him, that is.

During the chaos of violence between all the Loki variants, you had followed your dad and kid Loki through Classic Loki’s smoky, green portal to escape the madness. 

But, something went wrong. 

Before your body was fully passed through, the edges turned a deep purple color, and you felt a rush hit your head. Stumbling, you came out in a completely different spot. It had taken you a second to realize, too, that you were now alone.

“No, no no no-“ you think in a quick panic, whipping around in hopes that your dad will be right behind you, but your heart drops when you see no one. You’re lost.

“Shit,” you curse, spinning around like an idiot trying to find even a silhouette, a shadow. But the misty smoke that had crowded your vision before evaporated with the rest of the portal, and your shoulders drop with a shaky breath.

Until you find them, you’re on your own.

The crack of a stick snaps no more than 20 feet away from you, and your head snaps towards the sound. 

“Ugh- those damn bastards-“, none other than President Loki walks towards you, coming out of seemingly nowhere. He’s grunting, and still missing a hand. Great. 

Your stare hardens into a glare, and the small glint of hope shriveled in the back of your mind. 

President Loki is still trudging forward, grasping on to his wrist painfully. Curses jumble on the way out of his mouth, and there’s a blade sticking out of his shoulder. You wince, seeing the small stain of red that surrounds the handle. 

“Ngh- help me, will you?” Using his free hand, he grabs the handle and rips it out of the busted shoulder pad hastily- not too deep, but blood still glistens around its sharp edges. You look away when he throws it to the ground, and scoff. 

The man side eyes your hunched figure, bitterly.

“Some respect,” he hisses, “would be great.” 

It’s beginning to feel cold, the air around you, and the heat from your crossed arms fails to do much. You’re cold, tired, angry, and your father has disappeared with three other versions of himself- one being a reptile. Hearing the bitter quips in his words, you roll your eyes and begin to walk away.

You want to be out of this damn void, to be as far from here as possible. 

President Loki scrambles after you, the cracked sticks and gravel crunching under his boots. 

“I never thought ‘my son’ would be so rude-“ he says, and your head snaps to his direction. 

“I’m not your son, don’t get twisted. You’re not my father, just some clone.” You say through gritted teeth, clenching your fists tightly. This man is infuriatingly obnoxious, it’s sad to think he and your father and almost the same. 

“Excuse me-“ the still intact hand reaches for your shoulder, dried blood smeared across the edges of his palm. 

“Don’t touch me-“

Before you could successfully slap his hand away from you, a sudden surge runs through the ground, the soil. Its force makes you both stumble, and your shoes scuff against the ground as you try to regain your footing.

“Oh gods,” President Loki mumbles, eyes wide, “not again.”

Your eyebrows furrow. “What do you mean,” he doesn’t answer, too busy looking around in sudden panic, “what is it, what’s happening?”

The fabric around your shoulder scrunches between his knuckles, and he’s dragging you. To where, you don’t know, but the continuous rumble under your feet doesn’t let you stop.

“Hey!” You yell, running the best you can when he’s still dragging you by your collar. 

“Just keep moving!” He yells. 

Out of the corner of your eye, a growing form turns in the distance. Clouds of black fog whip around in the air, a face formed of red light and smoky features hurls itself across the land. Your eyes widen.

“Oh. Shit.”

Suddenly, you’re pushing past P. Loki’s strong grip and sprinting forward. You tug his sleeve, telling him to follow.

Across the way, you spot a dusty, rotting shell made of wood sits broken on the ground- looking like the remnants of a ship. It smells like wet soil and dirt, the odor pricking your nose while you press your back against it. Panting, President Loki joins you.

“What the hell are you-“

“Shut up.” You say, breathless. 

“I’m saving your life, you ungrateful little weasel-“ he scowls. Exasperated, you finally give him a second glance.

“Can you fuck off?” You pant, and he grumbles.

Ducking your head around the bend of the boat, you spot the creature once more. It’s gotten bigger, it seems- it’s getting closer. 

The few structures and scattered objects in its path disappear under its foggy form, lightening strikes every time it gets closer. 

You whip your head back around, and shrink further into the rotting wood. You wonder where your dad is, if he too has shrunk beneath the monsters smoke. The thought makes you wince.

“What is that thing?” The pads of your fingers dig into the soil beneath you, as if grasping for something to hold.

President Loki swallows the lump in his throat, head tilted against the boat. 

“…the Alioth.” He speaks hesitantly, voice hushed like someone might hear. 

“The what?” The name is unfamiliar to you, just like the new scared tone coming from someone who mere minutes ago was being as obnoxious as ever. But now, its tense- birds screech in the distance, and dust glides across the surface from the “Alioth”.

“It-“ 

Instead of a rumble, the almost relieving sound of another person is what cuts off his voice. It’s a bit distant, harder to hear over the whispers of power that seem to bounce from Alioth’s smoky figure.

“Come and get me!” You peak over the edge of the boat’s rim, seeing two lights in contrast with the bright red. Green, surging in circles in front of someone, another Loki. And orange- the waving flicker of a flame. 

The raspy yell is all too familiar, and your heart pounds. It couldn’t be your dad, no, not the real him. 

The two figures are far away, you can barely make out any more than their silhouette, but there’s such a chilling feeling rattling your insides and you just can’t shake the feeling that maybe it is.

“No…” you swallow shakily, hands clutching the wood so tightly your knuckles feel strained on its surface. 

“What are you-“ 

The question barely registers itself in your head, blocking out President’s voice. You’re up, running right towards the figures, towards the monster.

“Hey! Come back you moron!” President Loki shouts after you, “Hey!”

But you don’t listen, you don’t turn around. Stumbling over rocks, around weeds and forgotten poles, you run. He’s too close, your dad always got too close to danger. It’s not the first time, no, and you’re not going to let it be the last. 

“Dad!” You scream, voice feeling hoarse. Your heart is pumping against your bones, your breathing loud in your ears. 

“Dad!-“

Suddenly, a wall forms in front of you. You skid to a halt, stumbling back from the sudden action, eyes wide.

It’s not just one wall, though. Various walls, pillars, and walkways begin to appear right in front of your eyes, all outlined by the smoky green of Classic Loki’s magic.

The man stands proud and tall, flowing with all his power in the middle of the growing buildings. Green energy circles his hands, and with strain in his muscles, in his voice, he stands.

You’re unable to see your father anymore, now blocked by a building that you know you’ve seen many times. As the city gets higher, bigger, you know from where.

Asgard.

Glorious golden pillars, now shadow and smoke. 

“Go!” Classic Loki shouts, and only now you recognize the fog beginning to seep closer to the city’s edge. It’s a distraction.

More shouts, but you can’t make out the voices anymore. Too much is happening around you, smoky tendrils are beginning to circle the area in which you stand. The fake city breaks and rebuilds with green energy, and you begin to stumble trying to back away as quickly as possible. Soon, it breaks.

Through the vines of black smoke you faintly see another green energy- Sylvie. But you don’t know how to get there, don’t know where you are. Across the way- Classic Loki stands in front of Alioth with all the power left in his bones.

“Glorious purpose!” Are his last words, before he’s swept away by the Alioth’s wrath.

A surge of wind flows, you nearly tumble to the floor. You have to move, have to get away.

You have to find your dad.

More tendrils fly, snaking around the dust. You try to run, feeling something coursing through your veins. A quick glimpse at your hand and you see the electric green glow, like linework on your skin. 

You face the monster again, still walking backwards hoping to have some way to defend yourself. But when your foot catches a rock, you trip and land on the ground.

“No, no.”

Your veins still flow through your skin, still course with adrenaline and power. But you feel frozen, stuck in the path of destructive fog. You squeeze your eyes shut, turn your face away.

.

.

But nothing happens.

Slowly, you open your eyes once more- only to find smoke falling like ash. 

It takes you a moment to process, to realize that the red glow had disappeared. It had been broken.

Is- is it dead?

Shakily, you sit back up, but can only go as far as kneeling. Your heart still pounds from the shock, and for a moment you feel dazed.

It is. Alioth is dead.

“Y/n!”

You freeze, and look to the voice.

Your dad comes running, shirt dirty and nearly torn, and immediately it’s like a weight lifted from your shoulders.

A sigh of relief, and you’re stumbling onto your feet again. You don’t have time to think before you’re running, running until your dad is right in front of you again. He throws his arms around your shoulders, and pulls you so close that your cheek is pressed into his collarbone.

“Oh my god… oh my god…” you mumble, mind racing out of relief. He’s here, alive and not some pile of dust left behind in the ashes of this void.

Even as the cloud begins to part, stricken with electric green, and the old manor is revealed from its foggy haze- neither of you are able to let go just yet.

“I thought I’d lost you back there.” He laughs, pulling away to examine your face. You shake your head.

“I thought you got obliterated.” He laughs at that.

One last time, you hug him again as if you’re still not entirely sure that it’s real, that he’s there.

You feel Sylvie watching, but you stay close to his side. Loki’s arm rests across your shoulders, and he pats your arm. 

“Ready?” He asks, and you look out at the road ahead.

“Ready.” You reply, before walking forward with your father close by and Sylvie shifting to your left. 

You’re almost there.

[filth-burps-writing]

Pigs Banquet part two ; the maid costume

⚠️⚠️Don’t read this section if your triggered by bullying or by feminine things being used as a punishment⚠️⚠️

It was the week after the hangover and the fateful origin of his new nickname and Arlo felt great. It was 11:30am, the earliest he’d woken up in years. In between a breakfast in bed, consisting of sheet cake and red bull, his T-shot last night and his evil plan he felt powerful . He climbed onto his paramour and awoke her with a hearty belch in the face. “Hmm morning Arlo”. “ morning my sweet. It’s plan day!” “Plan day?”. Mercy was just as excited for the plan as Arlo. Less because she shared the seething resentment for Reginald but because of what the plan was. She slipped her clothes on as Arlo buttoned up his shirt. His heaving gut needed to packed into his jeans even after he had sized up recently. Mercy swooned. Her boyfriend’s expanding gut had increasingly become the topic of her thoughts.

Arlo and mercy strode into work with their tools of destruction in hand. The meeting went a lot faster thinking about how funny their prank was. And how much Reginald would hate it. Eventually the meeting broke up and Arlo and Mercy went to their separate locations to execute their scheme; Mercy around a corner with her phone hidden and propped up in her cleavage and Arlo by the walk-in freezer. Reginald had one creepy but very helpful quirk; during each shift after the meeting he would go to the walk-in, strip naked and sit there for a full ten minutes and close his eyes. Was he napping? Praying? No one knew. But right now all Arlo had to do was wait. Two minutes. Four minutes. Six minutes. He had to wait for Reginald to become enraptured in whatever he was doing. Eight minutes. It was time.

Arlo slipped through the door. Then he carefully padded across the room and gathered Reginald’s clothes. Then he left the clothes for Reginald that were the subject of the prank; a black dress, a white apron, fishnet stockings and black shoes. No underwear. He slipped out unnoticed. Then he went out and got busy with the dish tray. Two and half minutes later a loud yelp could be heard through the whole restaurant. Then there was hushed conversation and Ronald came out the kitchen smirking. Trailing behind him, Reginald came out in the outfit. A maid costume. He looked like he wanted to jump out the building. He was blushing violently. It was kind of cute. Mercy came out, snapping pictures. The staff looked on, collapsing with laughter. Reginald walked toward the bar and sat crossed legged on the stool to cover himself. Arlo looked. Oh my god. He was sat like a girl!

Arlo stood in front of him, smirking. Was this how having a dick felt? If so he should definitely get bottom surgery. Then he opened his mouth “hello Reginald. For the past two and a half years you have blurred the line in between bully and flirt. I’m not mad at that. You have been deeply pretentious and treated me like I’m stupid. I’m not mad at that. You have been all around unpleasant to be around. I’m not mad at that. I’ve excused a lot over the years because we all make fun of each other and it did make me a little horny. But you crossed a line. You were transphobic. You have seen me struggle. You helped me administer my T-shot. You knew how that nickname would make me feel. But you still made the cheap shot when I felt weak. So I made a cheap shot. Cis man in a dress. Classic comedy. So now everyone’s laughing. And you feel my pain.” Reginald absorbed the monologue sheepishly. He knew he deserved this. Arlo completed his rant with the deepest, loudest, beefiest, most masculine belch he could muster. Reginald slumped against his chair defeated.

All of the staff took prolonged glances throughout their shift. The costume got increasingly tight and stained as Reginald chugged down whiskey and cokes in between patrons but that only made the leering guests hornier and therefore Reginald much more uncomfortable. This was officially Arlo’s favourite ever shift. Every time he went over to the bar he grinned. The chest was so tight after a while it looked like he had breasts. Arlo didn’t bring it up. He was the better man.

That night after his shift Arlo found Reginald in the smoking area with his regular clothes back on. “So Mercy gave you your clothes”. “I nabbed them when she went to go pee I just didn’t have time to change. Bbbuuuuuuurrrppp. You wanna know something shitty?” “What.” “I made an extra hundred dollars in tips.” Arlo farted and cackled as he opened his cigarettes and lit one. “Wait really?” “Yes. I’m going to get you know.” “It would be more misgendering if you didn’t.” They smoked in silence as their changed dynamic hung in the air.

[kuzann]

Another little snippet from Paradigm Shift: Mending Fences chapter 8 because I'm on a roll and these two idiots are just so fun to write. 8.5k words so far!

They were in a part of the Ghost Zone that Danny didn’t recognize. He kept pace easily enough despite his low energy levels, but challenging Vlad again was out of the question today. He would have to use more indirect ways to interfere with the present scheme. Especially since Vlad was supposed to be taking care of him.

“Are we there yet?” Danny asked, specifically because this was the most annoying and stereotypical question he could possibly ask right now.

“I’ll tell you when we get there. We’re just getting to the final approach,” Vlad replied. If he wasn’t regretting his decision to bring Danny yet, Danny would make sure he did very soon.

In these parts the Ghost Zone had a more... Closed character about it. The swirling eddies of glowing green energy and black void were slower, crawling at such a glacial pace that they appeared solid. It gave the area an almost cave-like appearance.

Danny moved a little closer to Vlad—caves were creepy enough without the knowledge that there were countless probably-hostile ghosts even now lurking about—and looked over his shoulder at the set of written directions he’d made for himself. “Why are you using such a weird route?” he asked as he squinted at them; the directions specifically mentioned passing a particular landmark three times in different directions, which was downright nonsensical. “Can’t you just go right to the ghost’s door?”

Vlad tilted his head back with a loud sigh, as if he’d had to explain this too many times already. “Your friends told you how they got to Beatrice’s cottage, yes?”

“Yeah?” Danny said after a moment’s pause to recall. “Something about the route being like a spell...?”

“The area around her home is like that because of some dimensional spillover from the Ghost Zone. A lot of ghosts here have ‘addresses’ that require more specific routes to reach,” Vlad said. “Now be quiet, I need to concentrate.”

Danny silently and very deliberately invaded Vlad’s personal space by propping his elbow on the man’s shoulder and resting his chin in his hand.

Vlad scowled and pushed Danny away, then returned his attention to the directions. At last he turned his attention to a cluster of identical doors—red wood with purple stained glass set into the upper half—and flew toward them.

So if the route needed to be exact, what would happen if they strayed from it?

Danny waited for the fourth landmark before making his move. “Hey what’s that?” he asked, pointing at a reverse waterfall of electric blue ectoplasm. Without even a moment’s pause he flew toward it.

“Don’t just wander off!” Vlad darted after him and grabbed him by the upper arm. “Honestly, your attention span is just as bad as your father’s at ti—”

The transition washed over Danny’s awareness like a wave, and suddenly they were in the midst of a floating chain of islands. “Huh, so that’s what happens when you mess up the route,” Danny said as he looked around. 

Vlad looked around at the islands and facepalmed so hard that Danny could hear the slap of his hand hitting his face.

Danny tried to cover his laugh, and failed. This was turning out to be much more fun than simply beating Vlad in a fight, and possibly more effective. Vlad wouldn’t be getting his hands on the artifact if he couldn’t even reach the place it was supposed to be.

“Do I have to put a child leash on you?” Vlad asked as he lowered his hand and gave Danny a glare.

“Hey, don’t get mad at me. You chose to bring me after I told you what I was gonna do,” Danny said, crossing his arms over his chest and giving Vlad a smug smile.

“The alternative was allowing you free reign to snoop around my house,” Vlad grumbled. “And if a ghost just happened to attack you during that time it would’ve been on me!”

“So you’re stuck with me,” Danny said with a shrug. “I’m sure the great Vlad Plasmius will figure things out,” he added, his tone dripping with sarcasm.

Rather than reply, Vlad led Danny back to the beginning of the route. Once he was sure they were in the right spot he grabbed the teen without so much as a glance and tucked him under one arm. “Stay put,” Vlad growled, waving a finger in Danny’s face.

Danny had half a mind to bite Vlad’s finger, but restrained himself. Instead he rolled his eyes and stared boredly at the span of the Ghost Zone that was immediately in front of him while Vlad started the route again. There would be plenty of other chances for sabotage in the near future, he was sure of it.

[pigeon-yum821]

//🌝🫀🪐

(TRIGGER WARNINGS: cursing, a little bit of drugs, abusive parents, talk about rape, a lot of mentioned suicide, violence)

It was supposed to just be a quick visit, in and out. Lesley wanted George’s birth certificate so they figured they’d just go and visit his parents. He barely recognizes the old white house, given the last time he saw it was before he joined the task force.

When they enter he immediately recognizes the smell of weed, a smell he’s come to hate over the years. The house is a little more messy than he expected, which is saying something since he expected it to be a damn hoarder home.

Lesley immediately goes to talking to his parents, and he does stay around for a little bit, but looking at Richard makes him sick. He eventually wanders off towards willows room, stopping and knocking at the door. He waits, and when he gets no response he just opens the door.

He looks around, very confused when he sees…no one’s there. All her stuff is there, and it’s a weekend so she shouldn’t be at school. He steps in, looking around as he notices the different oddities. The bed is made, all the lights are off, and the decoration in her room is almost dusty. It looks so abandoned. It also looks set up, not as naturally messy as it typically is.

He also notices the large red stain on the ground, along with the smell of cleaning products instead of the typical incense she would typically light. He silently leaves the room, heading back to the living room where his ‘parents’ and Lesley are talking.

“Hey Richard, where’s willow?” He asks, not caring at all that he just interrupted (mom) as she was just about to say something very rude to Lesley. “Oh…well.” Richard stutters, not entirely sure how to say this to George. Even Richard was scared of the large military man, George being rather intimidating.

“Well?” He asks again, sounding rather impatient with Richard. “…she’s dead.” He finally answers, sounding very wary. The silence is deafening, even Lesley’s jaw dropping as she looks over at George. She knows how close the two of them were, and how little patience he has with his parents.

“Fuck you mean dead?” He spits, his anger starting to flare up as he hears about this. “She’s dead. She slit her throat, dead.” Richard responds, trying to act tough. “You abused that girl until she killed herself?” George responds, slowly becoming more and more angry as he takes a step forward.

“I didn’t abuse her, just taught her some lessons.” Richard snaps. “You abused and raped that sweet little girl until she killed herself! She was 16 you horrible fuck!” George yells, making Lesley walk up to him and grab his hand, holding him back silently.

“She killed herself because of her own actions, you will stop blaming it on your father!” (mom) chimes in. “That monster is not my father!” George yells back, now fully livid. “He abused my sister until she killed herself. Do you not realize how heartless someone has to be to do that?!”

“You will quiet down and treat me with respect young man.” Richard responds, standing up and pointing a finger at George. “You will NOT try and be my father right now you pervert. Im NOT above beating some rapist ass.” George warns.

“George, stop. We don’t need any legal troubles right now.” Lesley chimes in, just as pissed and hurt but knowing that it would be a headache to deal with the authorities if George were to get in a fight. “Lesley, baby doll, go wait in the car.” George responds.

By the time George had finally exited the crusty old house it had been 30 extra minutes. Lesley was waiting in the car, perking up a little when she sees George opening the drivers side door. He silently sits in his seat, rubbing his bruised knuckles. Lesley notices.

“I’m guessing you did end up beating his ass?” She asks, not sounding mad at him. “…yeah. Bastard deserved it. And you don’t need to worry about the legal shit, I made sure he knew that if he were to call the police I’d immediately tell them everything he did.” George responds in a tired tone.

Lesley nods, but stays silent for a few seconds. She looks him over, noticing how he’s pretty much fine, and how quiet he is. She eventually speaks up. “..are you alright?”

George has to debate his answer. “…not necessarily. I’m pissed, sad, confused, and guilty all at the same time. Let’s just…get home.” He responds, sighing as he starts the car.

“Yeah, that makes sense. I feel the same way. Let’s go.” Lesley agrees, buckling her seatbelt.

(Editors note: this is super long and idk how to finish it 😭 might make a part 2.)