#I’m just so happy ppl are connecting and loving what i write bc tbh i mainly just write for me!

[honnelander]

wahhh i love your sanji fics !! i need more of go fish it’s so cute 🥺🥺 i’m excited to read what else you create too

this ask is so sweet, thank you!! 😭🥹🩵

the go fish series has been my favorite too. i really think i might just call it the go fish! universe atp lmaoo (i’ll be tagging everything related as go fish! au)

i’m excited to share what else i have planned, so thank you for your support 🥹🫶🏼

[butchcarmy]

i’d really like to know your opinion on carmy and sex, in the sex scene with claire he doesn’t seem all there with it

YES I would LOVE to discuss this!! Strap in everyone I have so many thoughts, and I totally invite ppl to agree or disagree :D

Firstly you’re so right… tbh I never gave that scene much thought but I love this take for many reasons. Like, carmy is a VIRGIN. he’s NEVER had a girlfriend. I think he’s barely had friends. He’s not good at relationships. While I do LOVE writing him as a pussy devourer and soft dom it would take a while for him to get to that point… putting this in a read more bc it got lengthy btw

Carmy is a very repressed person by nature. With that being said, I think he’s also very lonely. He definitely has sexual desires and fantasies, but has never let him act on them, nor has given himself the opportunity. After never having sex for 30 years, I think he’s built up a lot of pressure towards it.

He also has so much trouble allowing himself joy of any kind. He has this logic where if he lets himself be happy, tragedy will come. Foreboding joy and all that. That extends to every part of his life, including sex, ESPECIALLY sex, relationships of any kind. But deep down, he truly wants connection, physical intimacy, emotional intimacy.

So when he has sex for the first time, it has to be with someone he really trusts and likes. He’ll put a ton of pressure on himself to feel good, but mostly to make the other person feel good. He’d ask the other person how to make them feel good, what he should do. If he’s good at anything, it’s following instructions, following a recipe to completion.

But he’s probably gonna get too caught up in what he thinks he should be doing to properly enjoy himself. Sex is about communication, something he isn’t good at doing with himself or with others. He’ll get stuck in his own head, possibly being unable to pick up cues from himself or his partner. And probably end up dissociating quite a bit, just like you noticed.

Practice (and communication) makes perfect! As long as he has a patient partner, I’m sure Carmy will be able to reach a comfortable place with sex. He’s a giving person, and he wants to give in bed too, vis a vis pussy eating champion (but also oral fixation lol). I also think a blow job could fix him HAHAHA he could come like. Instantaneously LMFAO

I have a lot of fun writing him being like, super good at sex, and I think once he jumps over some mental hurdles he can become his enlightened pussy destroyer self. That’s the version of carmy I’d write in my fic line “let me love on you”, but realistically, sex for him would look much different than that. That’s what I hope to explore in my slow burn fic “ALEXITHYMIA”!!

Anyway wow my thoughts are all over the place here but I hope this makes sense. I think about carmy so much lol

[taintedcigs]

also this is gonna be long as HELL so feel free to ignore me😭 i just wanted to say that im grateful to have ppl who read and love my work, i appreciate all of u soso much i swear u guys have no idea! each ask i get, each comment, rb, tag, i appreciate all interactions and hold them dear to my heart!!!!

ive been struggling a lot mentally lately, and have been feeling immense amount of stress over my grad school applications, work and basically every other aspect of my life. writing has been a good outlet so im happy that i still have it. however, posting on here had been a struggle for me lately, im sure everyone is tired of seeing posts like these and im probably adding on but idc😭

the fandom has felt a bit empty lately and even then i felt sort of excluded? in a sense? like theres some kind of clique in this fandom that im not a part of? idk how to make sense of it. its stupid. to feel this way over a fandom tbh, but i cant control it😭

and then again i also get super judgy of what i write, and get overly critical because of the lack of interaction and notes i get, or because of the hateful anons. it rlly is disheartening bc i love using tumblr as my escape, i love posting on here and connecting with people. writers, readers. it saddens me a lot that it turned into something really stressful for me.

so i have decided to come on here with a new mindset, a more of an idgaf attitude LMAO and WRITE whatever i like or what caters to me without being too worried! and if i can’t seem to do that i’m gonna be taking short breaks more frequently.

i just blabbed all this to basically say that im trying to clear my head, sometimes the negativity gets to me and i want to create a much more positive space for myself!! 😅

[dyelwi]

1, 7, 12, 17 for Ms Athena Cykes since she’s your current icon?

Athena my beloved aaa I love talking about her any chance I get hehe putting this under a read more bc it’s gonna get LONG

1. Why I like her: so so many reasons. Where do I even start lol um I’ll start w just her personality!!! Ace attorney has a lot of characters in the “peppy happy girl” category but Athena has always stood out to me because of her unique quirks and how well she bounces off any and every other character!! Her dynamics w other characters (esp Simon and Apollo) are always really really good, and I think she’s a really strong character that a lot of ppl overlook due to not liking aa5 as much as other games (which, btw, I’ve never seen anyone fault athena for, it’s usually the cases themselves and the handling of Phoenix and maybe Apollo they don’t like but notice how athena is like never complained about in terms of writing quality, at least from what I see lol). She feels cartoony and realistic at the same time, which is hard to achieve but is also exactly what aa protags need!! Her trauma and trauma responses are compelling for the mystery aspect of her story while also being compelling just in general, which isn’t always the case in these sorts of games, and I just really like how she’s written overall.

And ofc I have to mention I just have a really personal connection with her. As an autistic person w adhd I saw myself in her more than in p much any other character, but whereas when I first got into ace attorney I was gloomy and grumpy Athena was so energetic and so dedicated to helping ppl that I just really looked up to her, and even now I consider her to be like almost a role model in some sense?? And her being into psych pushed me more into psych than I already was and is probably part of what has led me to where I am now— graduating with a psych degree this year and going on to pursue grad school and a career in mental health counseling. Athena just makes me so happy and she’s so good at helping people despite and even because of her (probable) autism and I wanna be able to make people happy and help them too yknow???

7. Something the fandom does w her that I like: tbh not a ton lol, but I always appreciate when people see how she can very easily be interpreted as autistic and they work that into fan content!! I also appreciate the calls for an athena centric game, as I think she was very strong in aa5 but needs a little bit more. I truly think she could be like THE strongest written female character I’ve ever seen if she got just another bit of an arc and capcom doesn’t mess it up lol. I actually have faith in capcom tho, ik that’s a bit uncommon but if tgaa is any example of the sorta writing they can do i have faith.

12. A headcanon— besides the obvious and like basically implied neurodivergencey, I like to think she likes animals, specifically more uncommon ones!!! I think she should have a pet, maybe some sort of reptile or bird. Simon has a bird, maybe she gets one too lol. I like sun conures a lot and they do have athena vibes tbh

17. A ship with her I’m fine with/don’t hate but also isn’t my favorite: hmm well by now you probably know I’m a big justicykes fan but other than that I don’t ship her too hard w anyone??? I guess after justicykes I’d say her and pearl might be my next choice, it’s a rare one but I think they could be cute!! But since I lean towards liking that one instead of being neutral, I suppose the true answer to this question would be junithena. I’m like. Entirely neutral on it lol. I think they’re real fun as friends but I just never saw the romantic spark everyone else seems to see??? Who knows tho, maybe when me and my gf play aa5 together I’ll see it. A lot of the fan art is super cute but I just never really got the romance vibe w them idk

[seekforwarmth]

hiii, lou! 💓

thank you for the compliment! i love pretty and aesthetically pleasing things. 🎀

it's such a lovely feeling to create something for someone who will really appreciate it. 🌷

i don't mind people around me eating meat. as long as the restaurant has vegetarian options, i'm in. 🐽

if i'm being honest i don't really vibe with niall's music, but at the same time when heaven came out, i couldn't get it out of my head for days. fitf is one of my favorite albums. however, my favorite songs often change, but at the moment are popular by the weeknd and just like you by louis (i recently rediscovered it, and i just feel it too close to my heart). 🌸

you lost me at "anything that requires physical activity". i'm more of "cuddle and talk for hours" type of person. 🪷

omg, were you teasing me? don't do that, i'm shy and now i'm blushing... 🙈

my questions for the day: do you have any pets? from the one dee boys, who do you most connect with? 🦩

have an amazing day,

- your secret valentine 💕

hi valentine!! 🩷

exactly! it’s the best feeling. i honestly hope you have the most fun while writing and that you’re happy with the result no matter what :)

oh, same with her i think. like, she’s used to ppl eating meat but fortunately we always have vegetarian options for her. i recently made her “cochinita pibil” which is a pork dish from Yucatán, Mexico, and obviously she doesn’t eat that but i used mushrooms.

oh, i love niall lol to me, none of his albums have skips. he’s truly amazing, and he was the last person i saw live so i’m still in that post-show nostalgia. fitf is one of my fave albums as well, i listen to it religiously, but i’ve gotta say that i don’t vibe a lot with jly 😭 i like the meaning of the song but i don’t listen to it often.

sorry, i meant that i wouldn’t do anything with physical activity. i apologise if i don’t use the right verbs, i need to improve my english.

yesssss i have an adorable five-year-old cat and he’s my world <3 tbh i’d say Louis bc he’s my age (just six months older) and his taste in music is similar to mine (i’m a huge fan of arctic monkeys and the libertines), and he loves football too (i love watching it, not practising it though) so in another universe we would’ve been great friends lol.

do you have an artist that you started listen to it when you were like thirteen that you still listen to?

i hope you are having a great day as well! sending you a big hug 💖

[onlyswan]

hi art!! I just recently came across ur acc and im curious abt some stuff like for one what are ur fave musicians to listen to ? Bc I remember the first thing I read from ur page - I forgot the name 😭 but it was when oc and jungkook kept meeting on a train while she was listening to cas and reading a book and omg since that moment I knew u were my favorite writer bc you were able to capture all my feelings and I just resonated with ur writings sm !! And I also have been using cas as my safe music for years now so seeing someone else also feels the same from years back makes me feel heard somehow !! I felt so safe and just so happy reading ur stuff like I forget about all my struggles I get excited to go to bed since my routine consists of reading ur stuff and it’s literally a daily thing now lol, and if u ever think about doing a long fic or even a novel pls do bc I am in LOVE with ur writing style you are able to capture the smallest details without dragging a story or make it boring you truly can bring stuff to life !! I used to read a lot and try and write poetry and sometimes stories too but thing got in the way and is slowly stopped but you made me remember why I love books so much and why I wish I couldve been a writer and that’s something so special !! also when did u first start stanning bts and have you ever been on the editing community lol? sorry for the rant and bombardment of questions and extreme enthusiasm but tbh I’ve realised that since I love ur fics so much I should start to get to know a bit about the writer and how you came across to writing them !! I hope u know how many peoples days you make better with these stories and ur so sweet too, keep being u !! :33

some of the other artists i listen to are txt, iu, frank ocean, beabadoobee, niki, mitski, fka twigs, omar apollo, hozier, the rose, wave to earth :D and i became an army during mots7! and i assume you meant writing community? :O but since i was like 9 i’ve been writing short stories and mainly poetry as a hobby and hid them all in the drafts. i never rlly published anything until i started this blog !

OMGSJDHDKDKF you’ve been here since gold rush!? this is so insane to me bcs i was pretty much mia in 2021 plus i was in my experimenting phase :| thank you so much for being here all these time !! 😭😭😭💗 i’m so happy we were able to connect through music <3 my favorite form of art <3

and i reallyyyy wish i can do a long fic but i have such a horrible attention span and committment issues lmao 😭 once i get annoyed or bored i immediately detach myself from something it’s a big problem </3 but thank you for your interest i can’t believe you would want to read an entire novel from me 🥹🥹🥹

I am in LOVE with ur writing style you are able to capture the smallest details without dragging a story or make it boring you truly can bring stuff to life !!

oh i’m gonna cry 🥲 i love you so much you have no idea how much i needed to hear this! i’m always insecure about being too much or too little with my writing so this is so comforting 🫂🫂🫂

and omg don’t be sorry i love this energy 🥹 !! i sometimes receive asks from ppl that seem to forget that there’s a real person running this account and that makes me feel dispirited so you’re such a breath of fresh air <3 thank you beloved for being so sweet and kind and reading my works it means the world to me 🤍🤍🤍

[wooahaes]

follow up to the fire emblem ask 😵‍💫 yes i found another blog who likes fire emblem and seventeen ! i won everyone !! ps sorry for the mini rant i got excited

anyways … let me tell you that the conquest route of fates was something! (i got sad) and then third dlc route revelation, writing was confusing but eh its dlc im not mad. i’m trying to find a way to get birthright soon so i can finally play that path.

ALSO TELL ME WHY I ALSO KEPT UNITS AWAY FROM OTHERS SO THEY COULDNT PAIR 😭. like i play as a f!unit so i kept her away from everyone but like one character so they had to be together. i personally did chrom and sumia just bc everyone said but i also chrom has funny supports and i heard his support with sully is sweet.

i actually talked to one of my moots abt someone making a video game based smau, they asked me to do it but im not at that level yet… but then fire emblem popped into my head. like the class system is so cool and usually connected to the type of person the characters are! i kept trying to see which members of seventeen + other idols would fit into each class role. sorry i got carried away 😅

hi lovely <3 no need to be sorry! i like talking abt stuff that makes ppl happy

god yeah i can imagine. i remember getting sad over birthright too :( i played through most of conquest and revelations tbh but its been like. at least a year or two so my memory's pretty foggy lmao i just remember not liking jakob

im always like "stay away until i get ppl married and then u can pair up however tbh" (still pairs married couples or parents w their kid bc i think them working together is cute).

god... i feel bad but im not a huge fan of sumia as a unit. some ppl say she's great but she always goes down so easily for me. i cannot imagine playing the game on classic. chroms support w sully is v sweet tho! if i wasnt trying to get lucina some specific skills from olivia, i probably would have pushed chrom with sully. they arent optimal according to a lot of ppl, but their supports would make up for it <3

ngl with this playthrough though ive had my f!unit like. sticking around multiple men to get the supports up to A so that i can figure out who i wanna romance......... homie i didnt expect for so many of them to have cute supports??? gaius's is cute (im p sure he calls the mc "bubbles" regardless of gender but i like his nicknames for ppl dsfkhdsf + his sweet tooth is endearing to me), stahl being the kind of person who looks out for people is sweet, lon'qu slowly growing more used to f!unit and being kind of endeared by her... and also henry just being the weirdo he is ksfdhdsf like ??? how am i supposed to pick. i mentioned it but i managed to get inigo (my favorite slutty man /hj) last night and his supports w f!unit are also kind of cute? just him going from a skirtchaser to trying to be more conscious of everyone else around him and taking care of ppl... ugh hes sweet <3

also last night i realized that olivia sparkles. like ??? girl straight up sparkles. i love that for her dskfhsdf also someone asked me if u have the option to be gay in awakening and im like NO bc god i love cherche and sully... and also lissa... and also maribelle... theres so many pretty women :(

ooo a video game based smau would be so fun... if i could do it, i would since theres like. so many games w so much potential there. i've had a vague idea for a life is strange-esque au (mc with powers dealing w that, basically) and since im already writing a one-shot w felix... idk, it just feels like a fun idea to play with. my go-to would be 3 because its the only game w a viable male love interest, sorry warren and whatever the guy from 2 was i love 3 the most and like ngl a smau would be an interesting way of doing it...

ooo do you have any thoughts on who would be in what role? i'd love to hear them! i talked with an anon about it a while back but i'd have to go find those asks bc i admittedly can't remember anything we picked out rn :(

[abeltownshipslittlebitch]

Spoilers for S9M22

It’s kind of long because I have a lot to say, but it’s not all negative. There’s just one thing that’s mentioned in particular I feel the need to elaborate on

@dorkylittleweirdo I’m tagging you because I always like telling you my opinion on everything

While I was wanting to punch Maryam in the face for dismissing Sam’s VERY VALID worry for Peter, I’m happy to know Peter is safe and unharmed.

But if Maryam says shit like that again idk if she secretly knows he’s safe my Five is punching her on sight. Like the amount of times Peter’s safety has been dismissed this season is insane and I’m not here for it.

Also Maryam being a spy 😱. Who would have guessed? It’s not like we’d been all theorizing it since she was introduced or anything. True she’s not a RSB spy but still.

But I don’t trust her bc there is one thing thats very sus. RSB had cameras of places all around the world and yet they somehow have no idea what’s going on in United States? Like you’re telling me they have connections to countries they aren’t even a part of, but being an outpost to America they haven’t been able to contact one (1) military base in the US? Like do you know how many bases there are in the US?

Also like Maryam saying “no one knows what happened in the US”. Like if any place could survive the apocalypse it’s America bc the southern regions have guns and as a born and raised Arkansan I know motherfuckers down here blow shit up for fun. Also hunting is huge here. You’d never find these ppl hiding in camo. Also some 90 year old hillbilly could give you some homemade Moonshine and if that doesn’t make you immune to the zom virus, you can throw it at a zom and it would probably melt it.

And here I am just talking about the south. The Midwest lives in buttfuck middle of nowhere and knows how to can good and grow their own food, the north is cold as fuck and can survive it. New Yorkers would see zoms, shrug and then probably make their way to the subway bc they have to get to work. Also in places like Florida and New Jersey and specially Chicago Illinois, the zombies would be more afraid of the humans than humans afraid of zombies bc it takes a special type of person to live in those areas. I don’t know much about the west coast besides the fact that California is always on fire or having an earthquake so tbh I feel like zombies are like the secondary problem for them.

My point is there is no way that America has fell in the apocalypse. Not to mention even tho I’m only talking about regional point, we’ve had conspiracy theorists across the country WAITING FOR THIS DAY. Like no. This ain’t tracking.

Also there’s like a military base in almost every state I think. Sometimes multiple in a state. And we’re well defended, and we, ya know, have the biggest military in the world. The fact that Maryam is saying that RSB has no clue what’s happened in America when they were able to secure Van Ark goo from the black market (meaning a base in Tunisia had connections to England in order to get ahold of it), and literally had cameras looking at other countries in Europe (the Eiffel Tower toppled over in Paris France) AND the big boss knew who we are means that they had connections to know about ABEL TOWNSHIP which canonically probably has maybe 1,000 bc we did talk about in S7 how we kept bringing people in and we’re getting a bit overpopulated for us. It’s just…

There is no way they haven’t been able to make contact with America. Janine was able to contact Canada via Rofflenet in S2 on a unstable network, so to say this highly secure base with great tech that has been making some very horrifying experiments can’t contact the country their base is meant to be an outpost for is bs.

This either means S2S did crappy with their writing, or Maryam is lying. I’m really hoping it’s the latter.

Also Ernie I love you. He and my Five are clone buddies, or they will be after some character development and Callista trying not to be a hypocrite bc she knows she’s not the same as the person she’s cloned after but it’s hard to have that logic against the clone of the guy who experimented on you and gave you lifelong trauma.

Also Sam “yeah we have no idea who it was that shot you down with a rocket launcher 😬.” That made me laugh ngl.

Also there was no Janine this ep so extra points for that. Also Maryam said Janine said it was unlikely that Peter would be hurt, and then it’s revealed that Maryam knew that Peter was picked up by one of her spy friends. This gives the implication that Janine may have known Maryam is a spy. If she did, and she knew Peter was safe and withheld that from us my Five is going feral on her. Like I’m already mad she had us leave him but IF it turns out she knew he was okay and said nothing im not gonna be happy.

Bc Janine knowing stuff and not saying Is why Peter unnecessary cut off his own nose (don’t think I’ve forgotten about that S2S). I haven’t.

Also no Mo and Peter this ep so it also loses points for that.

Okay. Now time for me to crawl back into my hole. I have to get ready for work soon any way. (I’m heading in early to get some LSAT studies done.)

But yeah. That’s it for today.

[redxblueihateloveyou]

You know it's always really funny to me when mhs say that had it not been for swimming Haru and Rin would've never become friends bc I'm like, that's how relationships work???? You initially connect bc of something you have in common and go from there???? In that case you can also apply it to mh bc if Haru and Makoto had not been neighbors since they were young they probably would've never become friends either, but nobody wants to mention that bc then their argument crumbles lol

Anyways, your blog is literally the best and your rh (and general) takes are always so nice to read

I'm... same, I just do not understand what’s new about this? Like my mom and dad met while they were both working at school, if I started talking with a guy cause he told me that he liked my chibi Akashi bag and anime, is this not allowed? This in no way means that that’s all we like about each other or smth, this means this one thing brought us together.

This is the reason why I dislike mh fans so much. Because the majority of them instead of posting some canon facts and truthful arguments, they either twist some words into something unrecognizable, either try to change a rh moment into mh. I just always thought ppl ship things for what they are, not what they are not...

And the main problem in this happening and the error in their equation is Haru. Cause they’re trying so hard to sew him into that but with everything he says and do he constantly falls off and they end up with mako-haha. It’s like they say that Makoto is the reason that Haru walks into his future, which is hilarious tbh, and the next movie airs and what do you know Haru is yelling at Rin’s face how “he only walks towards the future and wants it bc of him”, they say that s2 relay teams are what they truly want which everyone knows ain’t true and boom drama airs and Haru and Rin are talking how it’s not the same if they’re not together on the team. They air all the birthday stories and oh no, Rin is special again. I remember how they were running around after that frfr! episode, where Rin tries to make Haru laugh and Makoto says he actually already heard it before and turns out it was kid Haru’s evil laugh in his sleep at school. Like what is so special about that? And how is this mh related? Haru was cutely laughing watching Rin sleep and just reading his text.. that’s yeah, that’s the reason to fuss.

Their problem is always Haru, he never fits their mh plan like ever. But do they listen to him? No. Because we have a moment IN THE ANIME, where Haru says “RIN, I WANT TO BE LIKE YOU, TOO.” meaning he wants to be as brave/daring/passionate, etc. cause Rin represents freedom for him. Okay, I’d get why some needed me to post an arguments list for “Rin doesn’t like Haru only for his swimming”, which is still hilarious to me, but okay, he does have a kink in books about Haru moving in the water and goes about it for several pages, but with Haru this is actually not the case. 

I don’t know if anyone noticed it, but swimming is not what attracts Haru the most about Rin and never was. It’s his character and state of mind and the way he makes him feel aka free. It doesn’t matter what they do, like whether they eat their rolls or draw new years fortunes. Haru said his whole body is on fire just when he looks at Rin and he doesn’t even notice how he starts smiling when Rin talks to him. It’s just the way he makes him feel. And swimming has nothing to do with that. Sorry, guys lmao.

Did they seriously just erase this moment, when Rin writes how he wants swim as fast as Haru in his letter, but Haru looks at the sky and he has this kaleidoscope of Rin’s pic in his mind and what he says next is "Rin, I want to be like you, too.” 

And he means what he says. It’s not about the swimming truly, he admires the fact that Rin follows his dreams with such passionate determination. Mind the fact that moments of Rin that flash before his eyes in this moment a) when Rin openly gushes about Haru’s swimming in front of everyone; b) when he yells in front of the whole class that if he wants a relay with Haru, he will bloody get it; c) his swimming; d) when he tells Haru that he’s a sight he never saw before he’s gonna show him the sight he’s never seen before. It’s about how what Rin wants, Rin fights for until he gets it. Haru is in love with his passion, always was, always will be.

Haru doesn’t want to “swim like Rin” although they did compliment each other by saying “I find your strength amazing” “but I find your stamina amazing”, and Haru always drools about the power behind Rin’s strokes, but Haru swims in his own beautiful way. And while he adores the way Rin swims, that’s still not his favorite thing about Rin and never was. Every time he talks about Rin it’s always about his personality and surprisingly... it’s rarely about swimming. When he thinks about Rin it’s always stuff like... how he is so colorful and intense and full of life and passionate about his dreams and how he stands out among everyone else to him, not about his swimming skills. 

So this argument is dumb AF tbh. I’m like.. yeah, and Lan Zhan loves Wei Ying for his demonic cultivation skills. Not because of his strong character, daring heart and his incredible ability to tick him off and light his cold ass on fire.

P.S. Seriously tho this is the first shipping base I see who just always for some reason does this stupid thing with finding a crumb and actively trying to make it into a bread but then realise it’s realistically impossible so they just replace it with a plastic one and pretend it’s real. This in fact makes your ship ridiculous. You can’t try to push the line that Rin is abusive (thats still lol) and how Makoto is better for Haru, since Rin did everything to make Haru reach his dream and made him happy and he’s the only one who can help Haru, when he feels down like in s2 and then with Albert and etc. Makoto can’t. It’s the truth, just let it go. I know there are not much positives sides in mh relationships to be honest in my opinion, but there are still some (?). Why not base your arguments on truth? Like at least it’s gonna be mh, not some imaginary thing. Either love mh for mh or don’t. Like yeah, Haru doesn’t resiprocate, but maybe one-sided stuff is your kink, ok, explore this, fine, but don’t try to make Haru into somebody else. Then it’s not your ship anymore.

It’s just funny to me like that Rin here writes poems about Haru and openly flirts with him in restaurants and plans their future together and I don’t even need to exagerate anything, it’s just how it really is and meanwhile mh is like “remember how 7 years ago Utsumi said that Rin and Haru wouldn’t be friends if it wasn’t for swimming, so mh is the shit”.. like I’m sorry, but I think I’m allowed to laugh at this. Sometimes you just have to let it go, seriously. Or at least like idk think before you post (and I know that it has like 3 retweets and no one cares, but still 3 ppl agreed and it reached me somehow, so..). My policy is when I create posts about my ships is validation. Like my last Rinharu facts youtube post got 5K likes, I didn’t post my thoughts, just their moments and at the end I specifically said “I have links/translations to all of this, so name thing you want to read, I’ll link you” and I linked everyone whatever they wanted. 

This is how you tell ppl a story of why you love this ship and make them fall in love with it, too. Not by making up lies about what’s not there and twisting someone’s words (like this person wrote “thats what she really meant *adds complete nonsense*). And I know mh do not have any of this stuff that rh have, but if you really ship mh, find something real and go from there. Seriously, it’s better if you have smth small, but real, than a huge lie.

Also I still think ship is about two people, not just one. Why mh don’t want to listen to anything Haru says or wants like at all? That’s just sad. 

P.P.S. Thanks for liking my blog, this makes me so happy <3<3<3

[lesbiancarat]

Lol its fine!! Reply whenever you can ^_^

But ahh true, true. Idk why I thought it would be a hint to the music lol but a sort og an evolution of the concept so to speak. Either way, am excited for the comeback because fresh svt is always iconic. Oohhh the concept photos are all pretty and idk which one to pick jfkshfjsjd. Like they are all very on brand for them but also unique and pretty. Very artsy haha.

Ahh yes, rabbitnwas forever iconic and it was what helped other places like discord to do similar things! But ah understandable!! Both seventeen and nct (when I was getting into kpop more) always felt like BIG well known groups due to their fandoms being so big at least to me. Especially when people always recommended their songs i just assumed they have been around for a while like bts when I joined only to realize they are still rookies. Monster rookies indeed!! The fact so many people love them is enough for me to say they are amazing, well respected and loved by many. Those comments annoy me, especially when people downplay their hard work by claiming 'bighit helped them get more famous' like what!? Yes bighit did help with getting more western attention per se but like downplaying as if they haven't achieved anything at all is confusing to me. Claiming how streaming fans aren't doing s good job to which im like one, mass streaming isn't healthy and two, fans who do try their best and we do beat records of our own. Seventeen isn't unpopular, just because they aren't you know who level doesn't mean they aren't big like do people forget what unpopular means?

Anywhoo, a day late but happy late birthday to our tiger King. May he forever rule the tiger land and take over the world with his tiger agenda lol.

yes! one side fits my aesthetic the best but all the concept photos were nice ^^

and yeah it is annoying but at the same time those people are so detached from reality that I'm just sort of like whatever djflgj like 'it's obvious to anyone who knows what they're talking about you're wrong so I'm not going to bother arguing w you' is sort of my mindset when i see those comments dhfkj bc if i don't think of it that way then i get angry easily. the way i see it bh/hybe definitely is helping SVT with western promotions but like. i don't think SVT/pledis would have been incapable of expanding into the western market on their own if they wanted to. but it's a given that it will be easier and faster with hybe bc they have connections and a reputation in the western market already established. honestly I'd guess that was one of pledis's main incentives for agreeing to the acquisition. but at the same time hybe and western media wouldn't give SVT the time of day if they truly were the flops some ppl try to claim they are lol

and yeah agreed, streaming culture can be super unhealthy. it's one thing to do it if you want to but at the same time don't be losing sleep over it or prioritizing it over your real life responsibilities. and definitely don't guilt trip and say a bunch of toxic things to others to get them to stream... i feel like it would be a lot healthier if fanbases just stuck to simply explaining, hey this is what streaming is and why it can be important (for like music shows etc) and here's how to do it properly if you choose to stream, and then just let people decide for themselves. there would still be people more than willing to do it, and without the guilt tripping maybe even more people would just find it enjoyable. but hey, what do i know? ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

i also think most kpop stans underestimate how many views from from casual listeners and fans vs hardcore fans/streamers. like streaming does make a difference, but not 100M views difference like some people try to act like it does. tbh there are a lot of groups that have a smaller core fanbase than SVT but get hundreds of millions of views bc they have a lot of casual listeners. you can even see it internally too: don't wanna cry is SVTs most viewed MV by a mile, it's the only one to pass 100M views, let alone 200M. and it has nothing to do w carats streaming dwc extra hard, it's bc it's arguably SVTs most well known song outside of the fandom. i see reactors all the time who react to it and say "oh i know this song! i had no idea it was by seventeen" and you can look at the comments section and see a bunch of people saying the song has a fandom of its own/even if you're not a carat you have to know this song

kpop stans also put too much emphasis on views imo and also equate views to popularity, which on the surface might make sense but isn't always the case. actually in terms of profit, groups/companies make the vast majority of their money off of album, merch, and ticket sales than they do off of views. but those are all things that are a lot harder to "sell" than views, because they actually cost money for the consumer, while you can watch an MV for free. hence why it makes sense that there are a lot of groups with hundreds of millions of views that get relatively low album sales. it's easy to convince casual fans and and listeners to watch an MV than to get them to buy something

and I'm not trying to diss other groups at all or try to say groups that consistently get 200M+ views are flops, they're absolutely not. I'm just trying to point out that kpop stans completely underestimate the amount of casual listeners that exist

but this is why SVT is honestly such a fascinating case. their MV views are nothing to write home about, and yet they're the second highest selling k-act at the moment and are in the top 10 if not top 5 highest selling k-acts of all time, their album sales are literally insane. a lot of people chalk it up to carats being bad streamers but like i said before, streaming isn't going to make a difference of hundreds of millions of views. this indicates to me that seventeen have a bigger core fanbase (ie people who call themselves carats and actually keep track of seventeens activities) but a smaller audience of casual listeners compare to other kpop groups. and i think a lot of people, carats, and non carats alike, pick up on this in some way or another but don't realize that's what's going on and it manifests in kind of weird ways sometimes

and this fact isn't something that bothers me, i actually think it's super important more than anything for SVT to have a strong core fanbase if what they're shooting for is longevity. but i do find it strange bc as i said, groups that do better with digitals than physical sales make total sense from a consumer standpoint!! so how did SVT end up like this!! it's so interesting for me to think about. i think i would have a better idea of why this is if i had been around since debut but alas

the only thing i can come up with is that SVT is better at retaining fans or like... getting fans invested in the group so people who become carats are less likely to be multistans? bc multistans play a huge part in both being and attracting casual listeners. they're the ones making video compilations and edits and content that includes multiple kpop groups, which is how a lot of non-fans get interested in other groups. whereas if someone is just a carat and making content for SVT the people most likely to watch that content is ppl who are already carats. i know im not the only one that's noticed it's kind of rare for SVT to be included in multistan edits and videos. which i don't blame anyone for, i think most of those people genuinely just don't stan SVT and they shouldn't be expected to include a group they don't know we'll or at all. at the end of the day ppl can make what they like. but it's interesting to observe as a general trend. but idk SVT potentially having a lower percentage of multistans still isn't really an explanation for why SVT doesn't have as many casual listeners bc those things kind of just go hand in hand. like either one could be the cause of the other one if that makes sense

ANYWAY sorry for the long reply but as i said the ratio of SVTs core fanbase vs casual listeners is a topic i find endlessly fascinating dhfmfj

[councilestatebarbie]

can i be annoying and ask for the same thing you did for sid with shawn mendez ? thats rhe first atrology write up ive read that actually makes sense to me like you wrote it in a way i understand. Im interested in shawns chart but everything is confusing so if you have time could you plssssss do a write up for shawns chart? thanj you :)

(note that his rising is only actually libra if his birth time is actually around noon idk anything about him so i’m just going off of info ive been told / found)

leo suns obvs have a reputation of being full of themselves but tbh they’re just self-aware. they’re rly hardworking and mostly motivated by the ppl around them - if they have a specific affection for someone / something they’re gonna do all they can for them / it. they can come across as kinda lazy at times (duh they’re lions) but once you get them going, they’re determined to keep going. they can be pretty traditional (as they’re a fixed sign) and are fiercely loyal when they form connections, so they’d rather work something through for a long while than give up and move on. and although they have that reputation for being overly confident n self absorbed they’re usually really humble and tend to blame themselves when things go wrong -- they’re pretty self conscious and self aware.

sun opposing moon people tend to struggle with their needs and wants, and their indecisiveness results in a lack of focus when they decide on one tour they are often pulled in another direction bc they are always aware of the opposite view, they tend to question their stance a lot

sun conjunct mercury ppl are usually rly intelligent n great communicators - they’re v prideful of their intellect, but they can be not as great listeners as they are speakers bc they’ll be thinking of what to say next. and although they like expressing themselves they tend to not dominate or be v active in conversations bc of this. though when they do speak it may bruise their ego if they feel criticised or pushed aside. also tend to be p animated speakers 

sun opposing uranus means they have a strong sense of personal freedom so it can be hard to get them to do something they aren't particularly interested in. it can be hard for them to maintain routines and often work in spurts, so when they’re having a creative burst they put everything into it, but when they’re not in that creative space it can be hard for them to put much effort into things

aquarius moons can be p sociable but are natural loners, n bc of this they tend to feel like they don't fit in. they also will reject any negative qualities / emotions they possess in order to appear / feel above things which they consider to be more trivial. n when this gets too outta hand is when they come across as aloof and detached. they’re rly tolerant in personal relationships tho - they give a lot of independence and enjoy kinda ‘weird’ behaviour that others might not. they’re a fixed sign too so they’re less flighty than other air signs, n in the long haul prefer things to be more constant, but can be unreliable where the little things in life are concerned.

moon in 10th house people are rly family orientated n like to stay at home a lot. they also usually have strong maternal influences. they might also move around a lot or change up the insides of their homes bc they’re looking for a place to really belong.

moon trine lilith people have an affinity for romantic and sexual relationships, and come come across as charming and intriguing.

moon trine ascendant ppl are good family influences and have good family influences in return, they love giving back. they also love change and travelling, and they’re rly open to other people, and love personal contact.

leo mercuries are good, natural problem solvers. they’re usually rly friendly and positive figures, n can be rly charming w how warm they are. they’re amazing speakers - enthusiastic, sincere, authoritative. but bc they can be authoritative they can come across too strongly sometimes.

mercury in 10th house means the most important things to them are the feelings of home and comfort. they're also smart with languages and can attract careers surrounding language.

venus in cancer tend to be quite sensitive in love. they show their love by caring for you, and paying close attention to your behaviours and feelings more than things you actually say to them. though they can be p moody and give silent treatment etc if they don't keep their moods in check. they love sentimentality and are turned off by affections that feel too impersonal and generalised. they need to feel confident and content w you bc of how attached they are to their family and home.

venus in 9th house people tend to find love with people abroad / not from their home, and they feel v happy abroad. they’re attracted to ppl from different cultural backgrounds, and they like partners who have a sense of adventure and enthusiasm.

venus opposite neptune means they may lack self confidence and are generally easy going - they might let their partner take initiative and just follow suit more than not. these placements are also often in love with love, very compassionate, and will usually go above and beyond for those they love. 

venus square ascendent means they may indulge in things they find pleasure in excessively, and be surrounded by company that is questionable to others. they may also come across differently themselves than they may initially be perceived. 

venus conjunct midheaven brings a very affectionate nature and close relationships w their friends. their friends may be important to their careers in some way. they also tend to have good reputations in their careers and are well-liked for what they do.

cancer mars ppl can be v passive aggressive and try to avoid direct confrontations. they tend to be pretty protective and use this as a way to turn ppl on sometimes, also they can be particularly turned on by the idea of having a baby lmao

cancer opposing neptune is a challenging placement. they have a hard time being direct and proactive with what they want, and they can feel like they aren't entirely deserving of what they do what bc of low self confidence. they fear rejection and criticism. they have strong imaginations and as much as they imagine the ways in which things go wrong they also use it to imagine their ideal scenarios and other good things. they’re likely to fantasise and experiment quite a bit sexually and can be into things others may consider to be weird or taboo. bc of their fears of criticism and inadequacy, they will either go in complicated, roundabout ways to achieve what they want, or will actively seek out situations in which they're almost guaranteed positive feedback and praise

[hinasho]

my thoughts on lavinia & iona (mostly iona)

i’ll start first with:

lavinia:

i’ve seen a lot of ppl hate her but i actually like how they wrote her character (for the sake of my own sanity i will not be referring to anything that happened in the final episode). i like that she was snarky, and wanted money, and had sticky thief fingers, and didn’t easily trust people, and was kinda judgemental and etc. she had her own motives and characteristics that separated her from others. she felt like her own person with actual flaws.

and i think they hinted at interesting things abt her. she was in denial about the truth of her quest, looking for her mother, bc her mom’s abandonment hurt her in more ways than one. i like that she’s not just a sweet, innocent, and nice girl. she pushes buttons, she causes problems, she invades people’s personal space, and will curse an authority figure out even when standing in a room surrounded by his helpers (the monk).

she’s an asshole and i’m very glad they wrote her like that instead of making her just the nice, sweet love interest. like, i’m not saying i like her (i’m pretty neutral on her tbh), but i do like how she’s written.

iona:

it’s almost the opposite in regards to how i feel abt iona. i like her, but i don’t really like how she was written.

i like her aggressiveness and slight arrogance. and i like her backstory, that she is the way she is bc she doesn’t have any parents, any household to “live up to”. she’s prickly bc as an orphan that’s how she’s survived. and i love the moments in between when she’s happy and we see her be a kid. the snowball fight was adorable and her getting easily frightened by foldo’s scary story was just as endearing. she has a decent amount of sides to her.

and i liked her and jaro’s dynamic. her finding more connection with the red riders/scoundrels was interesting and as she was an orphan, i’m hoping they go with a found family route for her. especially the nice scene at the end where jaro turns around to journey with her.

HOWEVER -> there were several things i didn’t like that they did with her character:

they did the very stereotypical and actually kinda harmful trope of “girls are just smarter/more mature than boys” with her. when it was just her and the Novices, the boys were always the stupid goofy ones and she was the one eye rolling at them or actually doing the work of tracking down tiuri or coming up with the plans or etc. this is NOT as progressive as the show thinks it is bc it just enforces the idea that girls cannot have the same childish naïvety and be as happy go lucky as boys can. girls can be idiots, they can be part of the slackers, they don’t have to be the more responsible one all the time. her being this stereotype was very annoying to see.

another thing i didn’t like: when lavinia joins the group, her and iona hate each other. they’re growling in each other’s faces the entire time. and you know what i just realized that most if not every scene where two girls interacted ended with them antagonizing each other?? darya and alianor, the black knight’s wife and lavinia, and now with lavinia and iona like?????? what gives??? can we have ONE instance of girls/women being at least a little friendly to each other damn

and like everyone has also said, the only reoccurring goc being a turned villain was bad. yes, i did think her dynamic with jaro was interesting and i like the tangent of her feeling more at home with a different group than the knights. BUT, she was the only goc with a main role. (i’m not counting tiuri’s mom bc come on). and honestly? i would’ve been fine with her switching sides storyline if they had kept the scene where she was crying and opening up to them in the castle and apologizing as genuine. my heart squeezed for her and if it was real it would’ve been a nice climax to all her character’s been through. her finally acknowledgeding that she Does have feelings and has grown to care for this ragtag group. but nope, it was just a con and “surprise she’s still bad!” twist. super disappointing.

tbh i feel like most of my issues with iona’s writing could’ve been resolved if there were just more girls of color. did iona REALLY have to be the only other girl in the Novices? no. we already know misogyny isn’t a thing in this world bc alianor easily became queen without question. so why was she the ONLY girl? and why the only reoccurring goc?? more gocs wouldve fixed a lot. and hopefully, we’d even have seen more friendships and bonding happening between them.

conclusion:

so yeah those are my thoughts. i liked the writing behind lavinia’s character (fuck that ending big time tho) and i liked iona’s too. there were several things i didn’t like abt the direction they took iona’s character, but i still like her nonetheless. and like i said, i really think a lot of issues could’ve been easily solved if there were more reoccurring gocs on the show.

[knoxhq]

► ( rudy pankow & cis male ) according to the school’s records, knox drury is a 22-YEAR-OLD senior studying political science, and he lives over in moriarty. he is a gemini, so that must be why others describe him as dignified, humorous, cowardly and naive. when i see him, i’m reminded of walking into class an hour late with sunglasses on, the feeling of anticipation as you wait for a firework to fully blossom, the sound of party music leaking through the walls of a bathroom. ( gibby, 20, they/them, est. ) ◄

hello everyone !! so i won’t even lie to u guys, i am NERVOUS and it’s literally only bc this is the first group i’ve joined in so long like dfdhkjsfjad the last group i was in was almost a year ago but i ended up having to leave due to personal reasons and didn’t get to write so like !!! idk i’m excited !! anyways w that in mind, pls bARE with me bc i have like one (1) braincell and i forgot how to write intros. anyways enough of me rambling, lemme give you knox !!

also this is a bad intro pls dont judge me im trying 2 like. rewrite what i had b4 the storm took it out n like, i lost the braincell

basics. 

full name: knox hale drury.

nicknames: drury.

age: twenty two.

gender and pronouns: cis male and he/him

sexual & romantic orientations: bisexual, biromantic, femme leaning.

major: political science.

housing: moriarty.

backstory.

triggers: implied bullying, police and incarceration ( dw i didn’t make him jj 2.0 ).

nobody gets to pick their beginnings. it’s something that people tell knox all the time, hell, it’s plastered in every stupid coming of age movie, book, film, everything he’s ever seen. you don’t pick who your born into, you don’t pick who you get to be. and to an extent, he does think that this is true but he can’t help but wonder if maybe, if people could pick, if they’d pick differently. because he knows he certainly would pick differently.

it’s not that he even came from a bad home - hell no, he had the most loving family ever. his mother was a saint, a warm sensation bubbling up in his chest when he thinks about her warm cookies or the way she tried to still tuck him in even as a teenager. his father had his flaws, we all do, but he was a good and honest man. hardworking, he showed knox what that stupid american dream is that everyone likes to preach about. 

no, it had nothing to do with them but rather the overall opinion on him and his family. see, the drury’s weren’t well liked - they were seen as lowlives and as shady, the kind of people who you’d only go to if you wanted to get stabbed in the back. generations of drury’s fit this narrative but no, his father was determined to change that. and so was he, even if nobody around him seemed to want to give him a chance. 

knox would go throughout school with this name attached to him like a dagger to his throat - whisperings in the hallway of, “oh, my mom said the drury boy might be steal things if you let him over,” and other random, rude remarks. of course, the people that get close to him know better - they see him for who he really is.

that person is knox. he’s a golden light, often more selfless than the rich pricks who run that small town. he’d give his jacket or umbrella to people even if they didn’t ask if it just so happened to be raining outside, and despite the fact that his family didn’t have a lot, he’d still go out of his way to try to give when he could. 

he eventually graduated high school - one of the top people in his class due to his father’s encouragement, and after a lot of debate, settled on attending haddon university - miles away from that sweet, small little hometown he knew, but a fresh start where he didn’t have to work for anything. he could just go in being him, with nobody attaching a new narrative to him. it was what he wanted, what he dreamed of.

and he loved it. his first semester there was memorable as he found himself surrounded by new friends and people he even considered family. back home, however, things were slipping.

the drury family was never rich, ever by any means, but business was low. nobody wanted to go there, fearing that his father was just as shady as his grandfather. as things got worse, his father had to resort to other needs - stealing, lying about taxes, and doing everything he could to try to make it by. 

it finally caught up to him when knox came home for spring break - red and blue lights flashing outside as loud noises went on throughout the house, until finally someone swung knox’s door open and briefly blinded him with a flashlight, demanding to know where his father was. by the time knox got a grasp on the situation, his father was being rushed off in the back of a cop car. 

he plead guilty almost immediately and for the next few months, knox did school from home to stay with his mother. it was then that he switched his major from what had initially been just a vague, business degree to political science in hopes of going into law after getting that degree - a way of changing things, of helping people so they never got to that point. 

for now though, he’s gone back to haddon’s campus where he study’s away and occasionally finds himself slipping and partying, glasses always covering his eyes as he slinks back class, getting almost nO sleep every night.

study.

so i need u to know right now... knox is baby, FDSHJDFSHAJK

like he’s not by any means like he’s kinda a gross dude like, absolutely randomly burps n is like lol oops n shit, very little manners, will grab clothes off of the floor to put them on kind of man BUT LIKE as a whole ?? he means very well FDSJFAHJ he’s very gentle and will sit there and admire flowers on a bush and then get mad if u pick one bc ur hurting it like. he’s baby.

he also is very loyal to the ppl he’s friends w tbh like. damn he will never leave ur side

that also makes him kinda... super, actually, naive. you see, while knox is incredibly loyal, he often finds himself ignoring signs of toxicity for the sake of preserving a friendship - he fights for people who won’t fight for him, he lets people back in too easily, he just. he sees the good in everyone, even if there isn’t any good.

regardless, he’s not easy to just... manipulate to an extent. while he’ll fall for you being innocent, you can’t ever try to make him think he’s something he’s not - he knows his intentions and he knows they’re usually pure and he’s not gonna fold for anyone if it comes down to him or them. 

bt like again he’s baby

like i dont think he ever gets mad but damn when he does its probs scary as shit like bc he nEVER gets mad !!! hes like. a golden retriever ig

if u cannot tell im trying really hard not to make him too much like jj bc i realize that might be a big thing ppl do n i dont think jj is baby bt like. knox? knox is baby DSFHJKFDHKJ 

he’s just. idk. he’s very protective and cares about his friends a lot and will walk you home even if you went to HIS place and like is always ready to give you a jacket if it’s raining and he’s just lowkey a big, kinda dumb at times, teddy bear and i think that’s valid tyvm 

wanted connections.

friends. — please. knox will lOVE ur muses just let him be their friend tyvm plus he’s a bit of a social butterfly now and i think he’d honestly have a lot of friends.

best friend. — i’m gonna keep this to one muse bc idk i think it’d be really cute if knox got to have his own like, ride or die where they care abt him as much as he cares about them and they’re always there for each other and like !!! that’s cute !!! also found family trope bc i think that is.. again, kyoot, ty

frienemies. — so these are always like, super fun to plot out and i think there’s a lot to work w here... like give me ppl who are happy that knox is loyal and would defend them but would push knox to the side n not do the same for him... also friendships where knox fucked up ?? where knox, despite his goodness, couldn’t keep his mouth shut and revealed a secret to their friend group bc u see he can kinda be a gossip fsjfdaskj. idk there’s a lot u can do n i’d love to brainstorm!

enemies. — pls. like. we can brainstorm this too so i dont just ramble but pLEASE?? please.

flings. — honestly romantic ships are not the point of rps but romantic flings and stuff can be really fun to plot and i love getting soft about them so like ?? idk dude lets fling it up n have muses date for two weeks n then break up like thats swexi, dramatic, 10/10

exes. — i mean this is kind of like flings but i have an idea... give me an ex of knox’s who really was like. everything knox wanted. hell, the two had a really good relationship - they were in love and etc etc gushy details but they ended up breaking up bc they just. they weren’t meant to be! as sad as it is like it was as simple as that! and then the angst comes in after they break up bc god they still love each other so much but they just aren’t meant to be and they see them with other people and oh it just hurts but like, bonus points if they manage to become good friends even after this !! (sidenote, idk i wouldn’t want this to be a full ship tht gets back together bc idk i think there’s a bittersweetness in stuff like this n its just. like. its ok !!! idk !!! )

roommates. — and they were roomates- fdshjkfdsahjk

other things. — honestly these are half assed plots but i’m down for anything !!! i’m still fleshing out knox a lil too bc i really did make him on the spot so pls bare w me :)

[crowned-ladybug]

(Same anon here) I'm really happy u liked my idea :D I love finding people with the same/similar ideas I have :> also I love your writing and I like the scenario you mentioned about Joseph and Caesar, that could lead to some angst and fluff :0

Hi I am So Sorry that this is so late, I’m not even gonna list the reasons why, I’m just. so sorry.

It’s so nice finding other ppl who enjoy the same hcs I do and getting to Talk About Them!!!

As for the plot idea - part of me wishes I could make this a proper fic but alas, I already have too much on my plate and no time/energy to write most days. It still ran away with me a bit tho so under the read more it goes!

So this is still back on Air Supplena and Caesar and Joseph are just. hanging out. Caesar is trying to Read but emphasis on Trying actually bc he’s been rereading the same damn line for the past two minutes just not comprehending any of it bc Joseph won’t stop messing with his goddamn clackers and Making Noise and it’s Distracting and Annoying and Caesar is getting real fed up with it

(Maybe if he actually Said something in a civil manner then Joseph would’ve stopped doing that and let him read instead of leaving Caesar to fume without saying Anything just expecting things to change on their own but I digress)

So eventually Caesar groans: “Jesus Christ, why do you have to be so Annoying, just Stay Quiet Already,” and he reaches over and yanks the clackers out of Joseph’s hand. “I’m taking these. There.”

And he’d be ready to just go back to reading with the clackers dropped on his lap and Joseph finally Quiet bc for all Caesar cares he can stalk off to sulk elsewhere as long as he’s Quiet about it

Joseph is not quiet about anything

The clackers, as already established, are his stim toy. His favourite at that. He’s had the dang things for a while now and they’re Perfect and he uses them so often that they’ve become His Thing and since he can use them for fighting also he doesn’t have to feel weird about having them on hand all the time

And he’s grown up with almost every adult besides Erina and Speedwagon, as well as a lot of not-adults, telling him that everything he does bc of his ADHD is weird or wrong or stupid. He’s been yelled at to stay still in school so many times and had his stim/fidget toys taken and told off for stimming (and poor volume control, and memory issues, and infodumping, and so many other things that are just Natural to him) and told to just grow up and stop acting so childish and embarrassing and annoying, that everything he ever does to make himself comfortable and happy is actually gross and immature and should be stopped-

And now Caesar just told him the same thing and it hits differently from all the other times he’s called him annoying, and he took his fuckin clackers too and he’s acting like it’s just Okay to Do and-

Joseph sees red.

Caesar has no time to react before they’re both on the floor and all he can do is try to dodge and block Joseph’s fists as he yells at him to give him his fuckin clackers back. And it’s scary beyond just. fighting someone who’s v strong and knows how to punch (bc ofc so does Caesar), it’s scary bc Joseph is v obviously Genuinely Upset?? This isn’t an impromptu wrestling match on the floor over something dumb and petty that they’ll call truce over in just a bit and go back to teasing each other. No, Caesar has somehow Fucked Up even if he doesn’t realise How nor how to Fix It

This all goes down in the span of seconds btw before Joseph like. catches himself and realises what he’s doing, which is. trying to beat his best friend into the carpet for taking his Stupid Childish Toy that he shouldn’t even Have bc what kind of Idiot gets so attached to some dumb Toy and makes Constant Annoying Noises with it. And Caesar is reaching up tentatively to put a hand on his arm to try to placate him or snap him out of it or Something and that’s when Joseph just Bolts

Like. clackers forgotten and everything, he just. utilises his favourite secret technique and runs for it

“It” being his room. He locks the door and sits on the floor next to it for a while trying to catch his breath and collect himself. Eventually he manages to get up and get his scarf to fumble with it to calm himself better bc the scarf is also Important like the clackers are

He’s fucked up Big Time. Now Caesar knows he’s weird no matter how hard he tries to save face, bc even if he doesn’t Say anything, even if he never gets his clackers back (oh god, where are they, did he leave them with Caesar, oh fuck-) his strong reaction to Caesar taking them will Definitely betray to him that Something Is Up. Caesar is a smart guy, Joseph can’t expect him not to catch on to Something being off anyway even if he doesn’t exactly know What bc it’s already enough evidence that Joseph is Weird and Childish in all the ways that are Undesirable

Caesar goes after him bc ofc he does. He wants to figure out how he fucked up and Fix It and also lbr. if this Was something Joseph would want to just be left alone with, Caesar wouldn’t really realise that until he got punched again. So he takes the clackers and goes looking for Joseph (which takes him some time bc he doesn’t Know what’s going on and thus that Joseph would be in his room where he can dig out his favourite scarf or bury himself under a pile of blankets bc that’s Comforting, and as small as the island is, it’s Full of good hiding places)

But he eventually comes up to Joseph’s room and knocks. “Jojo, you in there?”

“Go away.”

“…do you actually mean that?”

And okay that’s unfair bc even buried under three blankets (pressure is Good but his weighted blanket is at home in New York and he is here in positively Not New York) and feeling like the world is overall a v shitty place, he still likes Caesar. Even if he knows that it’s dumb to want comfort from the same person that hurt him in the first place.

And then Caesar adds: “I still have your clackers.”

And it’s not like. blackmail or anything, more like “hey I wanna give these back tho” and that’s what does it bc Joseph wants his clackers back and so he v bitterly decides that if Caesar thinks he’s gross and weird now then Joseph can just punch him and they can go back to hating each other like they had back in Rome

He hates that possibility tho

He allows Caesar in and sits up in his bed while he’s at it so that he can have at least Some dignity left. Caesar sits on the bed with him tho he does keep a larger distance than he usually does and Joseph Really hopes that’s “I don’t wanna freak you out again” kinda distance and not “you’re just gonna punch me for no reason again aren’t you” kinda distance

Before he does anything else, Caesar gives the clackers back and Joseph just. puts them down on the bed on the Caesar-free side of himself bc he’s Very Consciously trying Not to Act Weird

He doesn’t look at Caesar’s face tho bc that’s a lil too much for him rn

“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to upset you.”

Joseph just shrugs. “It’s fine, it’s…dumb.”

“It’s not dumb if it made you upset.”

And that’s so fuckin sweet and Honest and Caesar sounds like he genuinely feels bad for messing Joseph up so much but also Joseph doesn’t know what to Do with that when Caesar doesn’t even Know what he’s talking about, bc ofc it’s Dumb.

“No, it…it is dumb. Don’t worry about it.”

I’d say Caesar operates like 80% on Pure Spite so if you tell him not to worry about something he Will worry about it just to be an asshole but tbh it’s mostly just bc he loves Joseph in this case

“Can I ask why though?”

Joseph doesn’t expect whatever that is so much that he actually looks at Caesar for a moment. “Why what?”

“Why you got so upset. Or why you think it’s dumb,” and when Joseph doesn’t look convinced he continues. “I mean, we fight all the time, sure, but it’s never Serious…right?”

He genuinely looks Uncertain there for a moment and that’s a Big Fuckin Ouch bc of Course it’s never serious, ever since they took turns punting each other into that fountain in Rome none of their fights have been actually serious. They spar for training and they have joke-fights bc it’s fun to rile each other up and gain bragging rights but it’s never about Hurting and in face of real danger they’d protect each other over themselves in a heartbeat

So Joseph just nods, and Caesar carries on.

“But back there you got. really fucked up over what I did and. I guess I just wanna know Why so I know not to do that again?” and with that even He thinks he’s done but then he adds: “You’re my friend.”

And that’s such a fuckin clumsy way to end it bc he can’t say the rest of it, the “I know this here isn’t about comfort but I want you to be comfortable anyway” and “the world is shit and I don’t wanna be another person who hurt you” and “I love you.” So he just leaves it at that.

Joseph automatically wants to go “that’s easy, don’t take my clackers then, dipshit” but like. 1, Caesar is being v v nice so he Won’t be mean in return and 2, there’s so much more connected to his Weirdness that could set him off the same way besides his clackers being taken. So instead he just really appreciates the sentiment and Caesar in general and decides that it’s all a too big a can of worms for him to wrangle and he’d rather just weather the painful parts as they come

“It’s fine, you wouldn’t get it anyway, it’s fine.”

“Why?”

“I dunno, just no one gets it! Whatever, it’s weird shit.”

“If you think I don’t get it, fine, then explain it to me!”

And Joseph doesn’t know what to fuckin Say to that bc no one besides his family has ever asked him to do that. It was always just being told to put his stim toys away and stop moving too much and oh fuck just shut up already, never Why.

He makes a vague noise bc he forgets how to Words for a moment bc of that, and Caesar takes it as a question.

“Jojo, we’re gearing up to fight a bunch of gods with ancient magic so that we can get two rings of poison out of your body, and you really think I can’t handle ‘weird’? Because I can, thank you very much, and it’s You, so I don’t Care if it’s weird anyway.

(He ignores the huge fuckin implications of that and just keeps talking.)

"So, will you explain so that I can understand?”

And he’s Smiling and how Dare and oh fuck when did Joseph even manage to look at him again. He stares for a lil too long bc What The Fuck before he goes “Okay.”

And Caesar’s smile grows into a grin like he really is just. genuinely happy to understand this part of Joseph and make sure he doesn’t hurt him again, and Joseph braces himself for an awkward conversation with Hopefully a happy ending.

(And Joseph ends up being right bc Caesar doesn’t Understand, he can’t really fully understand.

But he Tries and more importantly he Listens and he Learns and is v adamant about the fact that Joseph isn’t Weird and Wrong when it comes to these things. So he doesn’t take away the clackers again and he finally connects the dots about why Joseph always lets him lean too much of his weight on him even if he risks toppling the two of them over and so he keeps doing it. He learns Joseph’s hyperfixations and how to prod him into talking about them to make him happy or distract him from shitty things, and what it looks like when his RSD kicks in and how to act around it.

Maybe he doesn’t Get It but it’s part of Joseph, and he loves all the other parts of Joseph too. And also tbh he’s a decent fuckin human being, even if he didn’t love Joseph so much he still wouldn’t act like an asshole about this stuff.)

[bluesfm]

(  park  chaeyoung  ,  twenty two  ,  &  cisfemale  )  who  ?  these  days  ,  it’s  all  about    blue hyong,  who  comes  from    los  angeles  &  ca    and  is  making  headlines  as  a    singer    .    she   currently  has  a  fan  count  of  42k    ,  no  thanks  to  the  rumors  of  them  being  inflexible  !  but  ,  on  the  other  hand  ,  their  most  devout  fans  say  they’re  actually    imaginative    .  last  i  heard  ,  they  caused  quite  a  buzz  when    she   publicly   dissed    her  new   record    label  and   the   misogynistic  treatment   she  was   receiving   from   their  reps  !  it’s  no  wonder  they  remind  me  of    long   rants   in  the  notes  app   being  posted   to  her   twitter  account  ,  empty  bottles   of  wine  laying  at   recording   studios’   floors   &  notebooks   upon  notebooks   filled  with   lyrics   she  might   never  use   but   refuses   to   let   go  of   .  

well hello human friends !! n also hello to the non human friends too , wassup . i’m angie a  dumb  noodle  from  the  middle  of  the  south  american  jungle  , and i’m here to introduce yall to this mess i call blue  who’s  a muse i have had  for yrs now n carry w/ me wherever i go , with some minimal changes but she’s still the  same  messy  bitch  on the  inside  don’t  worry  folks !  so   i  will   provide  u w/  some  background  info  on   her  n  some   possible connections  under   the  cut . issa  lil messy  but  we’ve   been  away  for  a while   pls  bear  w me

blue  is  the  only  daughter  to  a  couple   of  south  korean  immigrants  that  came  to   america  when  they  were  in  their  very  early  20s  n  already  expecting  blue  in  order  to  chase  the  american  dream  n  create  a  better  life  for  themselves  n  their  family  .  their  life  was  pretty  hard  for  a  big  part  of  blue’s  childhood  ,  while  they  were  both  studying  n  working  odd  jobs  to  pay  for  their  education  all  the while  taking  care  of  a child .  so  blue  didnt  have  the  best  childhood  ,  not  that  her parents  were  bad  or  anything  they  just  didnt  have  time  for  her  . nowadays  ,  they  are  a  lot  more  comfortable  in  life  ,  since  her  dad  became  a  lawyer  n  her  mom  is  a  nurse  ,  but  they  definitely  didnt  have  an  easy  beginning  .

ok  so  maybe  bc  they  werent  present  durant  most  of  her  childhood  they  didnt  notice  a  lol  of  signs  that  might  have  made  things  a  lot  easier  for  them  ,  bc  by  the  time  they  were  available  to  emotionally  be  there  , during  her  early  teenage  years ,  blue  was  already  kinda  a  mess . she  had  grown  up  w  very  lil  structure  n  refused  the  rules  they  tried  to  instill  on  her  n  was  already  used  to  doing  things  her  own  way  .  that  lead  to  a  lot  of  conflict  between  them  ,  since  they  expected  her  to  study  hard  n  do  well  for  herself  in  a  nine to fiver  when  she  was  already  sure  art  was  the  only  way  to  go  n  while  she  did  ok  ,  she  definitely  wasn’t  as  good  as  her parents  expected  her  to  be .

so  ...  u  know   her  teenage  yrs  were  basic  girl  angsty  she  fought  a  lot  w  her  parents  n  rebelled  frequently  n  ran  away  from  home  like  ...  weekly  ,  but  she  never  rly  had  any  real  hardships  .  life  was  reasonably  good  but  she  always  had  something  to  complain  abt  ...  just  as  she  liked

[  MENTAL  ILLNESS  TW  ]

but  then  she  reached  her  late  teens    they  all  realized  there  was  something  going  on  other   than  the  usual  teenage  angst  she  displayed  all the time  when  she  had  her  first  manic  episode  .   her  parents  thought  it was  a  “  blue  thing  “  at  first  bc  she  was  usually  a  very  impulsive  person  n  she  rly  didn’t  have  a  habit  of  thinking  before  acting  on  her  impulses  ,   but  her  mom  quickly  noticed  the  signs  of  a  manic  episode  when  she  realized  how  aggitated  n   restless  she  was  , specially  when  blue  described  an   hallucination  she  seemed  to  be  having  .   they  took  her  to  a  psychiatrist  ,  she  was  admitted  to  a  hospital  n  diagnosed  w  type 1  bipolar  disorder  n  very  quickly  medicated .  while  the  medication  brought  her  out  of  her  episode  ,  n  she  was  allowed  to  go  home  after  her  mood  seemed  to stabilize  ,   blue  also  noticed  it  stunted  her  severely  emotionally  n  decided  (  against  medical  n  parental  advice  [  pls  dont  do  it  fam  !!  take  ur  meds  ]  )  to  quit  her  medication  ,  falling  into  her  first  major  depressive  episode  a  few  weeks  afterwards  . n  for  abt  four  years  she’s  been  living  w  her  disorder  ,  n  she  doesn’t  medicate  at  all  .  she’s  super  open  abt  her struggles  n  she  has  a  Lot  of  them  ,  specially  w  how  much  drugs  n  alcohol  she  consumes  .   i  never  said  she  was  smart  yall  .

[  END  OF  TW  ]

ok  so  as  u  probably  assume  ,   blue  is  an  emotional  mess  .  she  has  a   very  chaotic  personality  ,  n  most  of it  isnt  even  from  her  illness or  anything  she  just  is  a  very  chaotic  person  in  general  ?  she  is   one  of  those  artsy  ppl  who  forgets  to  wash  her  own  clothes  so  she  ends  up  wearing  the  same  dress for  like  ,  3 days .  she’s  super  outspoken  n  outgoing  n  rly easy  at  making  friends  if  u  can  get  past  the  dumbass energy  she  exudes 24/7  ?  but  yes  just  a  very  outgoing  person  n  a  outright  mess  most  of  the  time  .  she  is  also  soooo stubborn  u  will  never  get  her  to  change  her  mind  abt  smth  she  believes  to  be  right  about  in  any  way  .  u  just  cant  .  she  loves  a  good  time  n  loves  partying  n  is  the  lack  of  impulse  Queen  soo if  u  got  any  bad  ideas  she  is  the  one   u  should  go  for  if  u  need  any  company  .  also .... so dramatic  .  she  makes  a  big  deal  of  everything  n  has  0  apologies  abt  that  .  just  catch  her  crying  over  high  school  musical  3  or  smth  like  that  .

but  yea  on  the  bad  side  tho  ,  blue  takes  up  n  gives  up  on  projects  so  easily  n  she  can  be  super  fickle  abt  things  in  general  .  like  ,  she  will  defend  an  idea  for  7  hours  but  2  days  later  she’s  already  onto  smth  else  n  doesnt  even  remember  being  so  obsessive  abt  that  other  thing  ?  a  mess .  is  also  Quite  abrasive  ?  if  she  thinks  ur  acting  dumb  shes  not  gonna  be  scared  to  call u  out  on  it  .  can  also  have a  Reaally  explosive  temper  .  not  usually  but  specially  during  manic  episodes  she  can  be  quite  easy  to  annoy  ngl  .  is  very  unreliable  ,  especially  if ur not  too  close  ..  tbh  that  is  something  connected  to  her  disorder  .  when  she’s  on  a  manic  episode  ,  she  will be  too busy  planning  things  she  will  never  get  around  to  doing  or  painting  her  entire  house  or  spending  3  days  awake  n  drunk  writing  17  songs  by  herself  .  n  during  her  depression  is  very  hard  to  get  her  to  do  anything  n  even  if  she  feels  terrible  , she  rly  cant be  an  available  friend  .

in  regards  to  her  sexuality  ,  she’s  an  open  bisexual  and   also  is  a  crazy  romantic  n  falls  so  hard  for  literally  no  reason .  but  like  ...  doesnt  have  the  healthiest  mentality  for  relationships  ?  not  like  in  a  toxic  way  but  she  will usually  give  145%  of  herself  at  all times  n  honestly  believes  all  of  the  ppl  she  falls  for  are  the one (1)  just  wants  to  make  things  work  no  matter  what  .  she’s  v  impulsive  w/  meeting  n  falling  for  ppl  tho  so  things  dont  rly  end  up  working  n  she  always  ends  up  heartbroken  over it  .  Well  .  At least she’s  trying  right  ?

in regards  to  her  career  n  art  , she’s  posted  youtube  covers  n  original  songs  for  a  couple  years  and  gathered a  decent  following  ?  she  wasnt  huge  or  anything  but  she  did  get  a  record  deal  w  an  actual  big  label  out  of  it  a  few  months  ago  .  blue  was  pretty  happy  abt  it  but  then  when  the  recording  process  started  she  realized  they  werent  treating  her  as she  thought  she  deserved  at  all  ?  which  resulted  on her  taking  her  thoughts  to  some  reps  of  the  label  n  when  she  didn’t  feel  any  difference  in  the  way  she  was  being  treated  she  took  it  to  the public  ?  which  definitely  caused  quite a  sitr  bc  she  wasn’t  a  huge  name  but  she  was  big  enough  ?  so  now  she’s  in  some  considerable  trouble  w  her  label  but  Also  more  famous  than  ever  so  they  are  choosing  not  to  bury  her  for  now  ?  she’s  in  some  definite  trouble  though  so  it’ll  be  fun  to  see  what  happens  next  n  what  her  moves  will be  ?  spoiler  alert :  it’ll prob  be  smth  dumb.

i  still have  so  much  to  say  but  i’m  so lazy  wow .  dont  start  ur  intros  so  close  to opening  time  folks  thats  my  tip  as  an  old  internet  auntie  .  OK SO  ONTO  SOME  CONNECTIONS  NOW  

some label  mates  who  she  may  or  may  not  get  along  with  ?

hookups !!  she  prob  has  a  few  she  regrets  too   bc  who  doesnt  am i  right

best  friends !!  ppl  who  actually  support  her  n  she  loves  w  no restrictions  just  love  all  around  friends

exes </3  not  gonna  lie  i  have  some  sad  ideas  abt  this  one

good  influence  bc  blue  is  a  mess she  needs  one  of  those  pls  someone  slap  her  head  n  make  her  drink  some  water

a  fling  she  has  feelings  for  but  may  not  be  requited  ...  i  like  my  romantic  connections  to  be  angsty  did yall  notice

artistic  soulmate  !!  someone  her  artistic  bitch  side  just  vibes  with  ?  could  be  a  songwriter  or  singer or  anything  tbh

some   indecisive  romantic   shit where blue rly  knows  sh’s  too messy  n  this  person  is too amazing ?  but  they still  have  feels  so   ... now  what ?

this is  p  mcuh  it ??  it  has  taken so long  to  finish  this  i  hate  myself  but  HEY  if  u  like  blue  or  dislike  her  u  should  hit  me  up  so  we  can  come  up  w  some  plot  ideas  ?  i wish  i  had  a  quirky  goodbye  idea  but  my  brain  has  just  quit  working  guys  so  u  get  nothing  from  me  other than  a  good  old  fashioned goodbye  thanks  for ur  attention  i  love u

[puppy-phum]

🐰 🐇 Hi from Classy Cultiva! I’m ok! Work getting busy =( but I’m off 24th-2nd so \o/ 4 me! Ty for always asking, I never have enuf space to reply in that regard 😔 Wed reply: haha “drunk dream” is a fairly perfect title but in my head it’s their First Time song 😁 (have u seen that post? 🤣) more vulgarly, Gettin It or Hookup 😜 | 2 of ur songs are in the golden core reveal scene, I replayed it like 5x to make sure I was hearing right! (on top of the 15x I’ve prev rewatched it haha) 1/2

Ooh my main sideship is NieLan but jc deserves love! I’ll check ur recs and ur fic out! Thx!! On to Q8: any fave fanart(ist)/rec? These three here on tumblr do AMAZING work: @pakhnokh: hard nsfw wangxian comics, also their compatriot silvarbelle writes fic of the comics! And vice versa! A beautiful symbiosis | @naoyukiko: has a sfw modern wangxian AU comic and is also on Twitter | @joshua-beeking made an excellent wangxian First Time comic and is also on Twitter 2/2

I’m happy to hear you’re getting your holiday either way ^^ and oh I feel the struggle with not having enough space :’D I always feel so bad with my own person I send asks to when I can’t even wish them a good day when there’s no space left ;; but I always love to hear about your day too!  ooohh ok so it’s that song :’D am bad at connecting which song belongs to which scenes haha. I don’t even remember that other song being in the golden core reveal scene, I connect it to somewhere else XD tho am not sure where. (this might be bc I’ve actually only rewatched half of the drama so far, it’s just somehow so emotionally tiring to watch it that it’s going very slowly and I began this like,,, during spring or something) but no, I have not seen any post about this :o maybe you can link it to me at some point ^^ 

oh, am not against nielan either :’D or mingxicheng? idk what to call them tbh haha. but I just never got that much into nmj bc well, he dies. and I’ve enjoyed canon-compliant fics/fic ideas more than any aus? but I hope you enjoy my recs ^^ and my fics too maybe damn oh hmm I gotta make a raid around tumblr now, I have no idea who I even follow and who does what art and damn (yeah am bad at managing all this hhh). I follow most mdzs related artists on twt I think?? and most of those are also xicheng related bc I just fell into them hard when I started shipping them :’D but oh! I think I know all of these ppl you’ve mentioned here! everyone has such pretty art ^^ all of these styles are also so cool :o but, a list of all the artists I love on twt mostly (most of these are just super cute and heal me in the middle of all the pain mdzs has caused me):

@/snowleopardji - absolutely adorable art about tiny snow leopard lwj (and other characters too!) ;; not that active lately but I absolutely adore their art and their humor and I’ve smiled all of these cute pieces so much!

@/bbylaozu & @/hanguangjunjun - more adorable art about baby wwx and the twin jades! so cute it melts my heart and I love how they interact together ;; neither has been that active lately but there’s a lot of art and aaaahh especially the twin jades “stories” are so nice ;;

@/gusutwinjades or @/nikud0ns - I love their character designs for everyone so much and they have such healing concepts and nice events and I just. I love emm’s art? it’s so cute and soft but also very elegant and emotional! such a blessing tbh

@/Balthazar_R or @darkandstormyart - I absolutely adore their character designs too and their art style in general ;; they have such nice ideas (all the aus!! damn) and the humor is great and I can feel so much love in every piece :’) 

@soursoppi (the same on twt) - more cute characters! absolutely adorable! I want to squish everyone together and just hug them to my chest ;; I especially love tiger!jc and dragon!lxc being the absolute softest :’) and then jiujiu with his baby nephew!

@/yuzhouu - aahh lynn does amazing art! their coloring is so nice and I love their versions of all the characters :’) they make a lot of xicheng pieces (and have been doing art for the fic I recommended you, Upon Our Silver Bridge!) and I think they also have some comics which are super cool :o (sorry my memory is horrible here jdhfkjd)

@/fengshouzai - super cool designs for their own aus of mostly the main characters :o I love their art style and their seven deadly sins au is fantastic! I think there might be some nsfw pieces too? 

sorry this became such a long list ^^’ I hope you don’t mind? but I just wish I could show all of my love for all these artists! it’s such a joy :’) 

have a good day and see you again, Classy Cultiva ^^ ♥