#I’m just so fashinated by her

[alevolpe]

#What these pieces represent to me and what they made me feel while drawing them and what they make me feel even now // sorry if this is a bit too intrusive but I love picking your brain on sailor moon because it's so big and beautiful and takes it places I never even began to imagine. can I know your thoughts on this for the Pluto one? it's so haunting and forlorn and piercing. thank you so so much!!!

This ask is referring to this Pluto art I did a while back and the tags I put under a recent reblog of it.

I’m not exaggerating when I say Pluto does genuinely scare me, she’s the only sm character that has ever made me feel uneasy and tbf to her, it’s not really anything she did or said or even how she looks, but more what she stands and what I picture her representing.

In a way Pluto to me is the uncertainty of existence and its inevitable end. Yes, she technically only asssociated with time but time itself is such an existentially dreadful concept to me. We know nothing about it, and that’s honestly the way I started seeing Pluto, an unknown.

At the time I made this gif I was doing a series of senshi/civilian illustrations and when it came to Pluto, I got so invested in Pluto herself, Setsuna was almost an afterthought.

My interpretation of the character is VERY different, not only from canon, but from most of people’s fanon as well. Sestuna doesn’t really matter to me in my canon, she’s a non factor. That does not mean I dislike her, quite the opposite, but to me a character so much “larger than life” is impossible to “humanize” the way the original story did. Pluto is not Setsuna, Pluto is not human, Pluto is just Pluto.

(Which leads me to a lil fun fact about the original gif that no1 has ever noticed before lol. The original blinking gif spells the message “Just Pluto” in morse code.)

My main idea for Pluto here was “she’s standing quite elegantly, but she looks quite unnerving and eerie. She’s hunching over slightly, given her quite statuesque stature. Is she offering you something, perhaps welcoming you to her gates? Is she hiding something?”

These are all questions that sparked in my mind when thinking about this Pluto illustration. They seem meaningless and just ramblings (which they kind of are), but they all tie to my main concept of Pluto and what she has come to represent to me.

[humansofnewyork]

“My favorite show growing up was called Solid Gold. It was a little like American Bandstand, but with a dance team. And the lead dancer was named Darcel Wynne. She was a black, regal woman. Long ponytail. Long fingernails. Body shaped like an hourglass. Even her movements had curves. Nobody could dance like Darcel. She’d kick up high, then next thing you know she’s touching the ground. I used to jump off the furniture trying to copy her moves. But there weren’t too many places to dance in Omaha. Not like they danced on Solid Gold. The closest thing we had was the American Legion Fashion Show. The American Legion was like a gang. They had their own colors, their own emblem. And once a year they had a fashion show. My Grandma was on the organizing committee. She was always recruiting. She’d walk up to every woman on the sidewalk, and say: ‘Look at those hips. You belong in the fashin’ show. Ooooh Weeee!’ It never took much to make Grandma say: ‘Ooooh weee!’ Because these weren’t no dime pieces. These was just regular women on the corner. But next thing you know they were at the American Legion clubhouse rehearsing for the fashion show. We had a former model named Ms. Darlene who would show us how to turn. All the other little kids were just doing regular turns. Simple stuff. Because they weren’t watching Solid Gold like me. Darlene taught me this turn where I would stick out my arms, just like this, and tick around like a clock. Tick, tick, tick. Like Diana Ross in Mahogany. On the day of the show, when it was time to walk the stage, I did the clock move. Tick, tick, tick. I’m just a little kid. And that’s an adult move. So the whole crowd went crazy. They jumped out of their seats and started screaming. Everybody’s cameras were flicking. My Grandma was out there somewhere, shouting: ‘Oooooooooh weeeeeeee!’ I still use that move sometimes, even today. I like to dance a little bit when I’m auctioning my clothes on Instagram. Just a little something to keep it interesting while people are joining the live feed. And guess who follows me on Instagram? Darcel Wynne. She’ll be watching the stream, writing in the comments: ‘I see you! I see those Solid Gold moves!’” #comebacknyc

[diagrapher]

I’ve been watching Phineas and Ferb. Some thoughts:

***

I’d somehow been assuming Phineas and Ferb was from the 90s, and it is mostly in a kind-of-old-fashined style, so the occasional things that make it obviously much newer than that are interesting.

***

Candice seems to have an ongoing internal conflict where:

on the one hand, she wants to be part of all the latest trends

on the other hand, she doesn’t want to be part of her dorky brothers’ schemes

“the latest trends” and “her dorky brothers’ schemes” aren’t very distinct from each other.

***

In your typical masquerade story, most people are kept in a constructed normality where the world looks like the real one.

In Phineas and Ferb, Linda Flynn-Fletcher in particular seems to be in a tiny and totally accidental bubble of normality where the world mostly looks like the real one while everyone else knows about all the weird stuff going on. The general public knows what her sons get up to no-one’s trying to hide it from her, and Candice is actively trying to show her, and yet somehow she still never finds out. This succeeds in being really funny.

(she’s no quite under successful-masquerade levels of knowledge, because while she can’t find out about what Phineas and Ferb get up to she doesn’t have any such issue with finding out about Doofenshmirtz’s schemes- those are just generally less public.)

***

I’ve looked a bit at Phineas and Ferb fanfic, and a large portion of it is set in an AU where Perry’s human and is Lawrence Flynn-Fletcher’s brother, but the setting in general and OWCA in particular aren’t otherwise less ridiculous. I would have expected “human Perry” AUs to also be things-are-less-ridiculous AUs but apparently not. I guess the point is to facilitate Perry/Doofenshmirtz, which I’m not at all surprised is the most popular pairing.

Two of the top-rated fics on AO3 are Perry/Doofenshmirtz with the premise “in the human!Perry AU, Perry goes to Doofenshmirtz for help after OWCA tries to coerce Ferb into working for them”. An amusing line from one of those fics: “Without his fedora, Perry looked almost like an entirely different person”.

[spacelion-loveshermulletson]

Hawks being friends with Toga (+ the League) HC's - Part 9

Shigaraki / Compress / Kurogiri

Hawks had never played Mario cart before he joined the League.

Shigaraki stared at him for a solid 5 minutes when learning about that before dragging him to the game consoles, forcing him to play some games, all the while proceeding to educate him on the history of gaming.

It was weird.

Really weird..

To have the boss of the League of Villains sit beside him and watch him play video games was something Hawks had never expected to happen even in the weirdest of dreams - yet, here they are, with Hawks pressing the buttons on a controller while trying to follow Shigaraki's instructions.

The rest of the group all stare at them in bewilderment - none of them daring to interfere with what's happening.

-

For the next several times Hawks comes over, he always ends up on the couch playing video games with their boss for a few hours.

Although it's never been said aloud, as well as it being really hard to read him without seeing his expressions behind that hand, it seems Shigaraki is having fun doing this.

There's something with his body language that simply seem to ease up on the otherwise tense "barrier" he usually puts up.

-

Hawks simply did as asked of him in the beginning, but as the gaming sessions continued he got more into it, engaging more in discussing different games and actually competing with Shigaraki during several times they play.

-

When Kurogiri came into the living area and witnessed the two of them eating snacks while having a playful (Playful, I'm telling you! What's going on?!) argument about one thing or the other - with Hawks laughing so hard it brings the smallest of smiles onto Shigarakis' face - the bartender looked just about ready to start weeping, like a proud mom, after seeing her child gain their first friend or something.

That, too, was really weird.

-

Hawks is absolutely fashinated by Mr. Compress' magic tricks. He never got to be a kid, feeling the wonder of watching "magic" or anything of the sort. There was only training and listening to what his handlers told him to do.

Now, however, he's free to discover all of those feelings moments like these bring and he enthusiastically watches on as Compress wizard up the card he'd let Hawks pick earlier.

-

During the naps the others usually take, Compress sits down nearby with a book or fills out some cross-words.

While Hawks prefer to cuddle up to Twice or Spinner, there are times he groggily crawls over to Compress and lies down near his lap, cooing softly before promtly falling back asleep.

Perhaps it's his way of making sure his companion is not alone? Hawks has never given an answer to it when asked later.

Not that anyone minds - Well, perhaps Toga, if she's feeling extra clingy that day.

Compress was surprised by it the first time, but quickly came to enjoy the small company.

He quietly keeps on reading his book while stroking through Hawks hair with his other hand.

-

The fact that Hawks managed to get Shigaraki to relax and actually interact with the others in a more positive manner (honestly, just the fact that he got him to smile by playing with him, like a friend,) put Hawks in Kuroguri's good favor.

-

The bartender watches over Hawks as he interact with the others, silently taking in details of the Hero's general manners, as well as observing what the other man enjoys.

-

Since Hawks prefers sweet things, Kurogiri makes his drinks more sweet in taste to make sure he enjoys them to the fullest.

And Hawks does. There's twinkle in his eyes whenever he sips the beverage prepared for him after a long day of work.

He also voices how much he likes them.

Kurogiri feels pleased at that. It's rather nice having someone openly appreciate his work.

-

The Hero also takes time to sit down and chatting with him while he clean the glasses or wipes at the surface of the bar - all the while trying to ignore whatever chaos the others are currently creating in the background..

It's nice to have someone to have more calm, intelligent conversations with at times.

Had it been a real bar, Hawks for sure would have been Kuroguri's favorite customer.

-

Kurogiri offered to help Hawks clean his wings after they got ruffled during a storm.

.....Holy shit, they were soft.

-

Hawks loves cooking and eating food.

You can see his feathers fly around the kitchen, aiding him in his work.

He seems to be enjoying so much.

When asked about it, Hawks kind of sheepishly (ashamed) tells them that he didn't always have food to eat at home when growing up.

Due to being poor and his parents having some.... issues, Hawks would often go hungry. It kind of made him love to eat a bit more than most, probably. He wants to enjoy food as much as he can now when he's finally able to.

...And it's a lot of fun to make, of course, he then tries to laugh off.

Soon after hearing that, Kurogiri helps him with cooking and gives him recipes to try out.

Whenever it's his own turn to make dinner, Kurogiri always makes a little extra, just in case Hawks needs a meal in the coming days and is too tired to prepare them himself.

-

Kurogiri calls Hawks "Baby bird" in truly emotional and distressing situations, in an attempt to give him comfort.

No one really says anything about it. It seems like it's something not meant for them to tease about.

[defeatedbyamerechild]

I’m not sure if this is considered a question to you or the characters…if I’m breaking the rules just ignore me.

So, I was wondering what your versions of the villains were like as kids. Did they have good parents or bad ones? Did the younger villains behave, or were they like the challenging children on Supernanny? I know some of this is known in canon (Cyrus and Guzma) but I was curious about the others~

-----

Heya!

Well, I consider this a question to me as a creator, because I don’t need to draw the characters answering it themselves like I would normally do in ask sessions, which is actually the hardest part. But I can tell you about this, no problem.

I guess I don’t have a very clear headcanon for all of them. For example... I don’t have very specific headcanons for Archie and Maxie as kids... The few things I know for sure are that Archie was probably rather troublesome, but because he was clumsy more than naughty. He never had any mean intentions, but I totally believe his parents were just as chill as him and didn’t mind it so much. I also like to think that Archie, Matt and Shelly used to spend a lot of time together as kids. Also, Archie’s dad has already passed away, but I’ve never really estabilished when that happened (All I can tell is that it happened before Archie’s wedding, because his father wasn’t there). Both Archie and Maxie are still in touch with their families, Maxie’s parents were at their wedding and so was Archie’s mother, so I would say they both have always had a nice relationship with them.

About Giovanni, me and my siblings have already decided that he didn’t have the best dad. I never wrote anything about his mother, specially because I kinda see Giovanni’s dad as a rather sexist dude in a very traditional family, so his mother was probably the Housewife™ (so yeah, Giovanni is old-fashined, but he’s actully surprisingly open-minded if you consider his up bringing). I figure Giovanni’s dad was a pretty tough dad who wouldn’t listen to Giovanni or let him express his feelings much, and so Giovanni became kinda brute. But he did show lots of love and affection towards him, so it’s not like a huge emotional trauma like with Cyrus and even Guzma in a way. Also, it’s not like his dad would beat him or anything... Only very rarely, maybe... Because, well, you know, back then people used to accept this kind of thing. But he wasn’t one of those dads that make their child afraid whenever they hear their steps, you know? Just a dad you would be afraid of disobeying. Strict, like some people like to call... Not very good at communication skills and all... A bit stressed... That is, similar to how I see Giovanni himself as a father (Except Giovanni is more modern in terms of sexism, homophobia and violence... He is relatively open minded and doesn’t beat Silver. He yells, though. Frequently...).

Well, Cyrus... We all know Cyrus had a pretty bad childhood and tough relationship with his parents. I imagine Cyrus had this kind of... You know when you’re raised THAT WAY that makes you feel like you’re never doing anything right? That’s how I see Cyrus. I imagine he was the most well-behaved child in the world, took excellent grades, studied literally all day long except when he was sleeping or eating and was constantly stressed without knowing why. I’m sure he almost never spoke, and never felt completely safe around his parents. It’s not like they abused him phisically, but he just didn’t feel like they were there to support him, but instead, to judge him. Like that kind of stress you feel when you’re in a contest in front of the judges? Or when your boss is very demanding and you always feel under pressure at work? Yeah, that’s more or less how his parents made him feel. He felt guilty every time he wasn’t studying, even if he were sick, he wouldn’t be able to lay down and rest, because he’d feel like he was doing something wrong. Also... He totally had imposter syndrome as well, so he never thought he deserved those good grades and compliments and felt like a total failure. I’m pretty sure his parents hardly ever listened to him, and this was probably one of the main reasons he started to dislike his own feelings. He probably felt like he didn’t have the right to feel bad, and that if he expressed that, it would be a bother to everyone around him. I think he probably feared rejection so badly that everytime he heard his parents whispering, he was sure they were complaining about him, even if they were just talking about their rude neighbor or something. In my comics, Cyrus doesn’t talk to his parents anymore and basically pretends they are dead. He doesn’t want anything to do with them anymore.

Lysandre was a well behaved and intelligent child with extremely loving parents, thoe who are even annoying because they are always kissing you and grooming you and pinching your cheeks, you know? But he didn’t mind it much. I’d say he had a good relationship with them most of the time. I never thought about what happened to them and whether or not Lysandre is still in touch with them, though...

Ghetsis... I never thought about Ghetsis having had a bad relationship with his parents... We have estabilished that he had a complicated relationship with his brother, though. Yes, he has a brother in our headcanon... And he had a complicated relationship because of jealousy and stuff... And we also estabilished that once Ghetsis became a criminal, his family cut ties with him and never invited him to Christmas anymore. So yeah, he doesn’t talk to his parents anymore (I haven’t decided if they are still alive tough, but if they are, they don’t talk to him).

What we have about Guzma from the game is... His dad is alive. Guzma beat him (in a battle or physically, we don’t know) and left his house to never come back... His father seems to miss him, he didn’t throw his things away and still thinks about him. From that, I’m not sure what happened to him... I guess maybe his dad wanted him to do something in terms of career and Guzma argued and left, maybe...? But I really don’t know. What we have done in our headcanon is... Guzma doesn’t talk about this. I imagine he has some rough feelings, I guess he probably feels bad about that sometimes, but mostly ignores the thoughts. All we know is that, in our comics, Guzma tells everyone he was raised by Raticates in the sewer. Sometimes he changes the story, but his standard story is that. So yeah, that’s probably because he doesn’t feel like talking about his actual dad, and I imagine he must have some mixed feelings going on inside him.

Lusamine probably had a good realtionship to her parents, after all, she did inherit Aether Foundation from her father, apparently... But I never thought about it much. What I have on my headcanon from Lusamine is that, after Mohn disappeared, she stopped talking to Mohn’s family because they reminded her of him and she didn’t feel like getting out of Aether and interacting with other people. I guess her father was probably dead by then, or really old... But she probably didn’t talk much to her own parents after Mohn’s disappearance, even if they were alive at the time. I headcanon that at least her father is already dead now.

This is what I’ve got from the top of my head, I didn’t think that much about all this, except for Cyrus, because I was writing a fanfiction about him a while back and so I kept thinking about his childhood.

[dailydianakko]

Undying Au- What chapter is this

help

“Akko Akoo!” shouted Diana sadly. “No, please, come back!” But I was too mad. “Whatever! Now u can go anh have sex with Vampire!” I shouted. I stormed into my room and closed my black door with my blood-red key. It had a picture of Marylin Manson on it. He looked so sexy in a way that reminded me of Diana and Vampire. I started to cry and weep. I took a razor and started to slit my wrists. I drank the blood all depressed. Then I looked at my black GC watch and noticed it was time to go to Biology class. I put on a short ripped black gothic dress that said Anarchy on the front in blood red letters and was all ripped and a spiky belt. Under that I put on ripped black fishnets and boots that said Joel all over them with blood red letters. I put my chestnut brown hair out. Anyway I went downstairs feeling all sad and depressed as usual. I did sum advanced Biology work. I was turning a bloody pentagram into a black guitar. Suddenly the guitar turned to Diana! “Akko I love you!” she shouted sadly. “I dnot care what those fucker preps and posers fink. Ur da most beautiful girl in the world. Before I met you I used to want to commit suicide all the time. Now I just wanna fucking be with you. I fucking love you!.” Then…………….s he started to sing “Da Chronicles of Life and Death” (we considered it our song now cuz we fell in love when Joel was singing it) right in front of the entire class! Her singing voice was so amazing and gothic and sexxy like a cross between Gerard, Joel, Chester, Pierre and Marilyn Manson (AN: don’t u fink dos guyz r so hot. if u dnot no who dey r get da fuk out od hr!) . “OMFG.” I said after she was finished. Some fucking preps stared at us but I just stuck up my middle fingers (that were covered in black nail polish and were entwined with Diana’s now) at them. “I love you!” I said and then we started to kiss just like Hilary Duff (i fukin h8 dat bitch) and CMM in a Cinderella Story. Then we went away holding hands. Croix shouted at us but she stopped cuz everyone was clapping by how sexy we looked 2gether. Then I saw a poster saying that MCR would have a concert in Blytionbuyry right then. We looked at each other all shocked and then we went 2gether. XXXXXXXXXXXXX666XXXXXXXXXXXXXXX We ran happily to Blytoonberry. There we saw the stage where GC had played. We ran in happly. MCR were there playing ‘Helena’. I was so fucking happy! Gerard looked even sexier than he did in da pictures. Even Diana thought so, I could totally see her getting an erection but it didn’t matter cuz I knew know that we were da only true ones for eachother. I was wearing a black leather minidress and black leather platinum boots with red ripped fishnets. Diana was wearing a black baggy MCR t-shirt and black baggy pants. Anyway, we stated moshing to Helena. We frenched. We ran up 2 the front of the band to stage-dive. Suddenly, Gerard pulled off his mask. So did the others. We gasped. It wasn’t them at all. It was.,……………………….. PaUl and da parliment! “Wtf Diana im not going to a concert wid u!” I shouted angrily. “Not after what happened to me last time? Even if its MCR n u no how much I lik them” “What cause we…you know…” she gadgetted uncomfortbli cause girls don’t like to talk a bout you-know-what. “Yeah cause we you know!” I yielded in an angry voice. “We won’t do that again.” Diana promised. “This time, we’re going with an ESCORT.” “OMFG wtf/ Are you giving into the mainstream?” I asked. “So I guess ur a prep or a Christina or what now?” “NO.”she muttered loudly. “R u becoming a prep or what?” I shootd angrily. “Akoo! I’m not! Pls come with me!” Sshe fell down to her knees and started singing ‘Da world is black’ by GC to me. I was flattened cause that’s not even a single, she had memorized da lyrks just 4 me! “OK then I guess I will have to.” I said and then we frenched 4 a while and I went up 2 my room. Sucy P’oison was standing there. “Hajimemashite gurl.” she said happily (she spex Japanese so do i. dat menz ‘how do u do’ in japanese). “BTW Hannah that fucking poser got expuld. she failed al her klasses and she skepped math.” “It serves that fuking bich right.” I laughed angrily. Well anyway we where felling all deprezzed. We wutsched some goffic movies like Das niteMARE b4 xmas. “Maybe Hannah will die too.” I said. “Kawai.” Sucy P’oison shook her head enrgtically lethrigcly. “Oh yeah o have a confession after she got expuld I murdered her and den Barbara did it with her cause she’s a necphilak.” “Kawai.” I commnted happily . We talked to each other in silence for da rest uv da movie. “OH HEY BTw, im going to a concert with diana tonight in Hogsmeade with mcr.” I sed. “ I need to wear like da hotset outfit EVA.” Lotte Go’thic 666 Nightfall Nodded ENREGeticALLlY. “Omfg totally lets go shopping.” “In Hot Topic, right?” I asked, already getting out my spshcial Hot Topic Loiyalty carde. “No.” My head snaped up. ‘WHAT?” my head spuin. I could not believe it. “Lotte Go’thic 666 Nightfall are u a PREP?” “NOOOO!NOOOO!” She laughed. “I found some cool goffic stores near Luna NOova that’s all.” “Hu told u abut them” I askd sure it would be Duana or Diabolo or Vampire(don’t even SAY that nam to me!). Or me. “Chariot.” She sed. “Let me just call our broms.” “OMFFG Chariot?” I asked quietly. “Yah I saw the map for blytonbury on his desk.” She told me. “Come on let’s go.” We were going in a few punkgoff stores SPECIALLY for the concerts in BLUYTONBURY. The salesperson was OMG HOTTER THAN GERARD EXCEPT NOT CAUSE THAT’S IMPOSSIBLE and he gave me a few dresses. “We only have these for da real goffs.” “Da real goffs?” Me and Sucy P’oison asked. “Yah u wouldn’t believe how many posers ther are in this town man! Yesterday Piceis and Finnelan tried to buy a goffic camera pouch.” He shook his head. “I dint even no they had a camera.” “OMFG NO THEIR GONNA SPY ON ME AGAIN!” I cried, running out of the changing room wearing a long black dress with lots of red tulle coming out and very low-cut with a huge slit. “Oh my satan you have to buy that outfit” The salesperson said. “Yeah it looks totlly hot.” Said Lotte Go’thic 666 Nightfall. “You know what I am gona give it to you free cause u look really hot in that utfit. Hey are you gonna be at the concert tonight?” he asked. “Yeah I am actually.” I looked back at him. “Hey BTW my name’s Akko Chestnut dark’ness dementia TARA way what’s yours?” “Andrew Habrige.” He said and ran a hand through his black-dyed hair. “maybe I’ll see you there tonight.” “Yeah I don’t think so cause I am going there with my gf Duana you sick perv!” I yelled angrily, but before he could beg me to go with him, Jasminkla flew in on his black broom looking worried. “OMFG AJJO U NEED OT GET BACK INTO THE CASTLE NOW!” XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX666XXXXXXXXXXXXXX Andbrew gave us some clothes n stuff 4 free. He said he wud help us wif makeup if he wunted koz he was relly in2 fashin n stuff. (hes bisezual).  Jasminka kept shooting at us to cum back 2 LUNA NovA. “WTF NelSon?” I shouted angrily. “Fuck off you fjucking bastard.” Well anyway Barbara came. Jasminka went away angrily. “Hey bitch you look kawaii.” she said. “Yah but not as kawaii as you.” I answered sadly cause Boobra’s really pretty and everything. She was wearing a short black corset-thingy with blood red lace on it and a blak blood-red miniskirt, leather fish-nets and black poiny boots that showed off how pale she wuz. She had a really nice body wif big bobs and everything. She was thin enouff 2 be anorexic. “So r u going 2 da concert wif Diana?” she asked. “Yah.” I said happily. “I’m gong with Diabolo (thatz Hannuah).” she anserred happily. Well anyway Duana and Diabolo came. They were both loking extremely hot and sexy and u could tell they thoufht we were ot 2. Diabolo was wearing a black t-shirt that said ‘666’ on it. She was wearing tons off makeup jus like Marylin Manson. Diana was wearing black leather pants, a gothic black GC t-shirt and black Vanss he got from da Warped tower. Lotte Go’thic 666 Nightfall was going 2 da concert wif Dracola. Dracola used to be called Frank but it tuned out dat he was kidnapped at birth and his real family were vampires. They dyed in a car crash. Frank converted to Satanism and he went goth. He was a peasant now.He gav up noblles. He was wearing a black Wurped t-shirt, black jeans and shoes and black hair wif red streekz in it. We kall him Dracula now. Well anyway we al went 2 Diana’s black Mercy-Bens (geddit cuz wer gpffik) that her mom Berenadete gave her (berfore she died). We did pot, coke and crak. Diana and I made out. We made fun of dose stupid fuking preps. We soon got there…….I gapsed. Gerard was da sexiest guy eva! He locked even sexier den he did in pix. He had long raven blak hair n piercing blue eyes. He wuz really skinny and he had n amazing ethnic voice. We moshed 2 Helena and sum odder songz. Sudenly Gerard polled of his mask. So did the other membez. I gasped. It wasn’t Gerard at all! It was an ugly NOble man wif Wrinklez and  eyes... Every1 ran away but me and Diana. Duana and I came. It was…….Paul and da Nobles! “U moronic idiots!” he shooted angstily. “Ajjo, I told u to kill Vampire. Thou have failed. And now……….I shall kill thou and Diana!” “No no please!” We begged sadly but he took out his knife. Sudenly a gothic old woman flu in on her broomstick. She had lung black hair and a looong black bread. She wus werring a blak robe dat sed ‘avril lavigne’ on da back. She shotted a spel and Paul ran away. It was…………………………………Hilberoook!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[cheryllcher]

V: Trying to Keep Out of the Cat's Fur

all chapter's

chap IV

chap VI

because i have no self control and ideas are just popping into my head at random times, imma just continue on with the seamstress au!! idk where im going with this since ideas are just coming whenever :) be sure to read @mikoriin 's story, she's the one who originally came up with this au ;)

---

2 weeks to the wedding. As much as it pains Marinette, she's gotta work if she wants to keep her job. She's currently taking measurements for her employer, wedding dress designs flowing through her head. Maybe some tulle that will trail behind her, or some intricate beading for the back? Not sure if gloves would look good, she would have to trial and error with different details.

The palace had their own seamstresses who could surely make a stunning dress with their extensive supply of fabrics and bits and bobs. And finish much faster too. But Chloe probably made her do it so that she would constantly be reminded that Adrien could never be with someone like her. Oh what Marinette would give to take a peek into their collection, all the outfits she would make... Okay okay, Marinette you have to focus. You already have a bunch of materials at your fingertips.

Just then, a bell rang. "Ah, that must be Adrien. Send him in Sabrina!" Chloe all but barked. Marinette panicked, wanting to avoid the prince at all costs. She sped up her work, hoping to finish before he comes in. Of course, just as she was done with the final measurement, he came in with all the glory of a prince. He saw her, eyes blowing wide and cheeks tinted pink, matching her, and she quickly packed up or else her flustered state would get worse.

"I'll sketch up some drafts and show them to you by tomorrow, Lady Chloe. Once you pick out something you like I can start making the dress immediately." Marinette reluctantly got out, before excusing herself after Chloe waved her off. She went up to her room to grab her sketch book and headed for the garden, hoping to sketch out ideas before she forgot and to find more inspiration.

---

Adrien sadly watched as his Ladybug exited the room. He had been ecstatic to see her after a week, hoping upon hope that he would be able to talk with her again. She however, was avoiding him like the plague.

"Oh Adrikins, I'm not dressed! You naughty boy!" Chloe giggled. Adrien was brought out of his thoughts, turning immediately to give her some privacy. He most certainly did not want to see Chloe without proper clothing on. He saw his bag and remembered something.

"I'm sorry, but may I know if that was your seamstress?" Adrien inquired, fully expecting his betrothed to reply sourly. "Why yes. Yes, she was. Why did you ask?" Ah, there it is. With narrowed eyes and a huff too.

"I just need to pass her some things."

"You can simply hand it over to Sabrina. She'll bring it up to her room."

"Although I appreciate the offer, these items come with specific instructions that she must be informed of. By order of the King." Adrien gave his best smile.

"Ugh, very well. Just take the stairs by the door up to the attic. I'll be waiting by the tea room where we'll discuss about the wedding. Come, Sabrina!" And then she was gone.

The prince heaved a sigh of relief and headed up to the attic room as per Lady Chloe's instructions. He came face to face with a dark oak wood door, not as exquisite as the one in the castle, but fancy enough for her family's status.

He knocked once. No answer. He knocked a second time. "Marinette?" Again, there wasn't any sound nor movement in the room. He turned the knob and entered the room, with the intent of apologising for entering uninvited, to find the room devoid of any human life.

Adrien was disappointed. No, there weren't any specific instructions to give, just that she was free to use the materials within the bag as she wished, and she could keep them. Only the most expensive fabrics and threads for the prince's bride, courtesy of the royal family. Instructions were an excuse to speak with her once more.

He looked around the room, filled with fabrics, scattered papers, a sewing machine. There were also pictures, filled with many different people, but he only ever noticed one person with the brightest smile he's ever seen. A design caught his eye, a simple dress that he knows she'll look stunning it. Heh, as if she'll ever look bad. She'll make rags look fashinable.

And when he looked out of the window, he felt a pang in his chest, a green-eyed monster forming in his chest.

---

cliffhangerrrr :)) this chapter turned out a bit longer than usual. i think chapter 6 will come really soon with these ideas im having :))

[monigheandonn1743]

Ceart-leth

Previous Chapters

 Chapter 8

If you asked her about the worst experience of her life, until seven years ago she’d have described the awful night that her uncle lamb had explained about the death of her parents. Until three days ago it would have been the site overseer in Ardnamurchan telling her she’d been made an orphan all over again when Lamb had passed away. Until ten minutes ago she would have shuddered and recalled that awful moment that she’d touched the stone at the top of Craig na Dun, but all would pale in comparison to this.

The pressure on her chest was so intense that she quite literally couldn’t breathe. She was drowning on dry land, trying to draw in oxygen that wasn’t hers to take, and she knew with absolute certainty that this was how she was going to die. She blinked, trying to clear her vision, and bit her bottom lip so hard she could taste blood. She’d made the mistake of attempting to inhale normally at first, and the pain had been so profound that she almost blacked out. So now she was lightheaded and seeing stars as she tired to take small shallow breaths.

Jesus fucking Christ!

It was no wonder that the woman of this era were known as the weaker sex. They were weakened by a profound lack of oxygen, and crushed internal organs: all in the name of beauty.

“There now.” Mrs Fitz smiled as she completed her torture and stepped back to admire her work. “Ye waist is so tiny that I dinna think we’d find one to fit. If is wasn’t fo’ ye breast, ye no need a corset at all.”

One at a time, she peeled her numb fingers from the bedpost and turned to face the beaming matron. Any love she was developing for the older woman was lost with her first painful tug on the laces, and she tried her hardest to smile, rather than going on a murderous rampage.

“Thank you, Mrs Fitz. I couldn’t have managed it alone.” She told her, breathlessly, but truthfully. There was no way on earth that she could have subjected herself to such agony.

“Aye, t’is nay bother lass.” She smiled patting Claires hand. “My, but ye a bonny one, an ye skin! T’is like spun glass.”

Claire blushed under her praise and turned to look at herself in the mirror for the first time. Staring back at her, all wide eyes and flushed skin, was a girl she barely recognised. Most days when she looked in the mirror, she was met with a bleary eyes med student, clad in scrubs and running shoes, with her wild curls barely contained in a haphazard bun.

On days where she made an effort, she’d usually find herself in skinny jeans and flowing tops, or the occasional dress or skirt when the weather was hot. Today however, she looked almost regal, encased as she was in a heavy woollen dress, made up of rich green and blue tartan.

Her waist, as Mrs Fitz has rightly pointed out, had always been tiny, but now it was clenched so tight that she was sure, if he tried, Jamie’s hands could span it easily. Her backside, that she always struggled to get in her jeans, was thankfully disguised by the bum roll and layers of material that covered her lower half. Her breast on the other hand, might be a problem.

“Um..” she glanced at Mrs Fitz in the mirror and gestured self-consciously to her chest. She’d never had a problem with them before, they were neither too small or too large, or they hadn’t seemed to be until now. But the corset had pushed them up so high that she truly feared for her modesty. They were like two huge grapefruits balancing precariously just below her chin.

“I wasna sure ye’d need it, but aye, I’ll find ye a tucker.” She chuckled, as she pulled out the stool and gestured for Claire to take a seat before the dressing table. “Ye hairs as bonny as ye face.”

“Thank you and thank you for helping me, Mrs Fitz, truly. I appreciate it more than you know.” She smiled genuinely as she sat ramrod strait on the stool. One thing was for sure, she’d never have issues with her posture again.

“Nay, lass. T’was the least I could do.” The older woman whispered as she grabbed a brush and gently pulled it though Claires still damp hair. “What ye did to Randell, he…me sisters boy…Young Alick. He’s no but thirteen…an’ he…” She dropped the brush onto the dressing table and hastily pulled a handkerchief out of her sleeve. It took Claire a moment to put Mrs Fitz words together with Jamie’s from two days earlier, but when she did, her stomach rolled and her hands flew up to cover her mouth.

Oh, dear God!

Sanding as quickly as she could, she approached Mrs Fitz and pulled her into her arms. Her reaction to seeing Randell in the court yard earlier, now made perfect sense. The sick bastard had raped her nephew, and Claire had no idea how Mrs Fitz hadn’t just murdered him there and then. Had it be any member of her family, she’s wasn’t sure she could have restrained herself.

“Oh, Mrs Fitz I’m so sorry.” She whispered, squeezing her as tightly as she could. “Is he hurt very badly? Do you need me to tend to him?”

As the words left her mouth, Joe’s warning came to mind, and the sense of helplessness that hit her was almost overwhelming. Yes, she had the training and the medicine available to help young Alick, and any number of people here at Leoch, yet she could use neither. Not only would she be burned for witchcraft, but her resources were limited and she just couldn’t spare them, no matter how much she wanted too. Joe had given them to her for reasons yet unknown, and for the first time in her life, Claire truly had to be selfish.

“Ye too kind, Claire.” Mrs Fitz murmured as she pulled back and wiped her eyes, “but he’s doin’ better. In body at least. He’s no the same boy though, willna even leave the house, save for when he’s made to.”

“That’s hardly surprising.” She agreed sadly, as she sat back before the mirror, giving Mrs Fitz a moments privacy.

God, she hated herself. Withholding care went against everything she believed in, everything she was taught. Yet, what could she do?

Mrs Fitz thought he was healing, but Claire alone knew that, as his physical wounds healed, there was a real chance that other, unseen, yet more serious complications could be developing. From what Jamie had told her, Randell was a serial rapist, so God alone knows what kind of STI’s he may be carrying. Most could be eradicated with a quick dose of penicillin, but even if she could find a way to discreetly administer it to the lad. What of the next child, or the next, or the next that came down with a life threatening illness?

If she stared now, where would she draw the line?

Despite herself, she couldn’t prevent her eyes from flicking to the place beneath her bed, where she’d hidden her medical bags.

When Mrs Fitz had first left her alone in the bedchamber, with a promise to be back soon with warm water and a change of clothes, Claire had panicked. She’d read enough books, and learned enough about the era from Joe, to correctly assume that the matron intended to help her dress. Having never been naked in front of anyone before, she was mortified by the prospect of barring all to a complete stranger. But beyond that, she was acutely aware of the fact that she was wearing underwear.

Twenty first century underwear.

Her clothing was easily explained away as strange petticoats from London, but she seriously doubted they wore lacy boy-shorts and matching bras. Rushing around, she’d quickly removing her bra and knickers and shoved them haphazardly into her bag, before swallowing two ibroprofen, and searching desperately for a place to hide everything.

It was by pure chance that she’d discovered the loose floorboard beneath the bed. She’d been on her hands and knees, attempting to shove the bags as far back as she could, when she leant on it and it wobbled. The one beside it hadn’t been loose, but she’d managed to work it free enough squeeze her bags inside.

The call to retrieve them and rush to help young Alick was strong, but she had to ignore it. If she gave in, she’d get herself killed, and if she died Joe and his whole family would cease to exist. Feeling the tug of the brush on her hair, she took a shallow breath and turned her eyes back to Mrs Fitz.

“If there’s anything I can do to help, please let me know.” She implored. She had the medical know how, so all she needed to become the great healer Jamie had announced to to be, was the knowledge of available resources.

Tonight she would begin studying the book Joe had sent, and tomorrow she’d go foraging.

With the length of time it had taken to wash, dress and arrange her hair, Claire had no time to rest before she was all but dragged from her room and lead deeper into the bowels of the castle. Callum had sent word via a pretty blonde girl, Laoghaire, that he was awaiting her presence in the dining hall, and all hell broke loose.

Laoghaire took the brunt of it. But with the fuss that Mrs Fitz made, you’d think she was to attend an audience with the king. After barking orders at the young maid, she’d whipped off her own tucker, and swiftly arranged it around the neckline of Claire’s gown, shoved the last of the pins painfully into the nest of curls atop her head, grabbed her by the arm and pulled her from the room.

Her head was still spinning, and she was fighting for breath by the time they stopped at the top of a wide, open staircase. Mrs Fitz continued her flapping, twisting curls around her fingers, batting imaginary dust off her dress, pinching her cheeks, and it did nothing to stem the riot of butterflies in her stomach.

She was just about to beg her to stop, when a calming hand landed on Mrs Fritz’s arm, stilling her.

“Quit ye fashin’, woman. The poor lass’ rattled enough, aye?” Murtagh huffed as he succeeded in separating the two women, and Claire breathed a small sigh of relief.

The older woman’s nerves were reeking havoc on her own, bringing forth all Jamie’s warnings about the Laird and fuelling her rising panic. She was beginning to wonder what the hell she’d gotten herself into, and whether or not she could find her way back to Craig na Dun on her own.

“Ack, Murtagh. Be away wit’ ye man. She’s to go before Himself an…”

“Aye, I ken. An’ I’ll see her there meself.”

Oh thank God!

Jamie had said he was going to eat after he’d spoken to Callum, and she was hoping beyond hope that she’d see him upon entrance to the dinning hall. While that was still the case, she felt a measure of calm from simply knowing she wouldn’t be walking in there alone, and she had to hold herself back from throwing her arms around Murtagh in thanks.

“As ye like.” Mrs Fitz huffed in response, “if ye need out Claire, ye come find me, aye?”

“I will, and thank you again, Mrs Fitz.” She assured her, having no idea where she’d even begin to look for the older woman, but grateful nonetheless.

Mrs Fitz waved her away, and with a dramatic swish of skirts, turned and hurried off down the hallway. Claire took a breath, and turned to look up at Murtagh. She couldn’t help her smile. Though nowhere near as tall as Jamie, he still towered over her, but the sullen, forbidding look she expected to see was absent as he watched Mrs Fitz scurry away.

“She’s got more energy than a toddler on a sugar high.” Claire laughed lightly, as she took over the other woman’s fussing of her skirts. Even with Murtagh presence she was still nervous, and she suddenly had no idea what to do with her hands.

“Aye, an’ God love her for it.” He agreed looking down at her. “She’s a worrier, but she’s right about Mackenzie. Best no keep him waiting.”

“Right.” Claire nodded and with a trembling hand, she took the arm that Murtagh offered her. “Where’s Jamie?”

“He’s about…an’ safe dinna fash.” He assured her with a small smile as he guiding her forward and down the first step into crowded room.

It took a moment, but like the preverbal quiet before the storm, a hush fell over the crowd as Murtagh led her between the two rows of benches and on towards the table at the front. It was risen on a stage of sorts and seated at its centre, on a throne like chair, was whom she’d presumed was Callum Mackenzie.

It was only her medical training, and the near constant afflictions she saw at the hospital, that prevented her reacting when she first laid eyes on him. As she walked slowly by Murtagh side, her mind flirted through an arsenal of ways in which she could maim Jamie Bloody Fraser.

Mrs Fitz and Murtagh were on her shit list too.

Of the few things they’d said to her about Callum Mackenzie, she’d have expected this to be amongst them. Something as simple as don’t stare would have sufficed. Because even from this distance she could see the rare, yet obvious signs of Pycnodysostosis and her heart went out to him.

She could only just make out his disfigured legs beneath the table, but there were other signs of the condition that she could see clearly. She may have missed them if she hadn’t studied Pycnodysostosis as one of the rare conditions she’d needed for her finals. But from hours examining photographs and case reports, she recognised them.

His enlarged forehead, sunken cheeks and protruding nose were amongst those markers, and she wanted to weep for the near constant pain this man must have suffered all his life. That he had survived so long in this era was miraculous, but to hold such a prominent position of power? That alone spoke of the mind that must be at work behind the shrewd eyes that were studying her so closely.

Murtagh stopped just before the table, and after offering the Laird a shallow bow, he gestured to Claire. It was clear that the disrespect he held for Dougal, also extended to his brother and Claire was awed by his bravery, surrounded as they were by Mackenzie men.

“Callum Mackenzie, Mistress Claire Beauchamp, an honoured guest of clan Fraser.” Murtagh announced prompting Claire to drop a polite curtsy. Thanks to Joe, she knew enough about eighteenth century Scottish customs, to understand that Murtagh had just declared her under their protection.

Any slight or injury to her, was a slight to his clan. It gave her a small sense of comfort, and while it still hurt to breathe, the air seemed to draw easier into her lungs.

“MiLaird.”

“Mistress Beauchamp, seems ye’v caused quite a stir.” He announced, loud enough for the gathering to hear. “I’ve heard about ye more than once in the past hours. But ye welcome to Castle Leoch, come sit. Ye’r a guest of clan Mackenzie now, too an I’ll no have ye starve.”

He gestured to one of the empty seat to his left, and with a quick glance at Murtagh, hoping he’d come to her rescue, she released his arm and slowly rounded the table. That Callum hadn’t even acknowledged the other man, hadn’t gone unnoticed and, as he offered her a small reassuring smile then turned to leave, she was left wonder what had gone on between them.

A servant pulled out her chair and she sat carefully, silently cursing the damn corset as it dug into her ribs. Callum was right, she was starving, but while the eighteenth century banquette looked and smelled delicious, between her nerves and her clothing she had no idea how she would eat.

“Wine?” Callum offered, lifting a decanter and hovering it over her glass.

“Yes, please.”

After the last few days she needed a drink almost as much as she needed oxygen, so when her glass was full she lifted it gratefully and offered Callum a small toast before taking a welcoming sip.

Besides introducing her to his wife Letitia and son Hamish, Callum remained mostly silent as they ate. But as one glass of wine turned to two, and two to three, his inquisition started.

“I hear ye from Oxfordshire?” He inquired as she took the first sip of her third glass. Unfortunately for him, wine was a staple part of her diet, and it would take more than two glasses to loosen her tongue. Regardless, she placed it down and turned to offer him a small smile.

“Yes.”

“What brings an English lass all the way to Scotland?”

“Employment. I’m a healer and with no husband, when my uncle passed away, I was left to fend for myself. I go where the work takes me.” She explained, pushing away her half eaten meal.

She may still have her mental faculties in order, and a basic tale to tell, but she had absolutely no idea of the inner working of Jamie’s family. If Callum pushed her she’d stumble. That his father had sent for her was simple enough, but she didn’t even know his name, and she had absolutely no idea who Jenny was.

She felt sick and she clasped her sweaty palms in her lap, trying to hide their shaking.

“An’ where was it takin ye’ this time? Surely its’s no safe for a young lass to be travelling so far alone?” He pushed and while his tone wasn’t unkind, she could sense the sly manipulation Jamie had warned her about just simmering beneath the surface.

He was attempting to corner her, to find the holes in her story and if she wasn’t careful he’d do just that.

“To Lallybroch,” she smiled just stopping herself from reaching for the wine. “But I wasn’t travelling alone. I still retain a man servant and maid. Mr Fraser sent them on with my belongings, once they’ve managed to fix the cart. It lost a wheel.”

“Ah, t’is fortunate that ye crossed paths is it no? Of all the places in all the land…”

Bollocks!

“I wouldna say that.” A deep voice contradicted from beside her, and her head whipped around to see Jamie stood behind the last free chair. “As ye ken, uncle, I was on my way to meet Mistress Beauchamp when I happened upon Douglas party an’ offered to join the search.”

Unable to help herself, she gaped up at him, unsure whether she was more relieved or shocked at his appearance. All she knew in that moment was that he’d been sent to try her, and that she’d never seen a man more beautiful.

She wasn’t the only one that had bathed and redressed apprently. Jamie towered over her clad in full, clean, highlander dress, with his Fraser plaid draped proudly over his shoulder and clasped with a shiny silver broach. His red hair was now tied back in a neat braid, and he’d shaved, the lack of stubble only highlighting his handsome face.

Fuck me!

“Aye, ye did say that.” Callum agreed as Claire gave in and reached for the wine. “Perhaps it was just fortunate that ye came across her when ye did.”

“Aye, for Randell at least.” He laughed, taking the glass from Claire and placing it back on the table. “But if ye’ll excuse us, I’v need of Mistress Beauchamp’s services. Young Willie’s taken a fall.”

Before he’d even finished speaking, Claire was already pushing her chairs back, aided by Jamie, and was on her feet in the next second, thanking Callum and saying goodnight.

“What’s happened?” She asked as she followed him out of the dining hall and up the stairs, trying her hardest to keep up with his long strides.

He remained silent as he lead her down one passageway and then the next, until he came to a narrow staircase and gestured for her to go before him. She was winded, and fighting a stitch as she climbed, and was ready to snap when he eventually spoke.

“Nothin’, but he’s a wily bastard, he’ll have ye tripin’ over ye tongue before ye ken what’s he’s about. I wanted to speak with ye before he did, but I didna have a chance.” He explained as he stopped before a door and pushed it open.

Murtagh stood straight and silent outside of it, and she smiled at him, realising that he must have sent Jamie to rescue her. The quiet man was slowly growing on her.

“Murtagh sent for you?” She voiced her throughs as she looked around the small sitting room. It was similar to her bedchamber, but instead of a bed, it had a sofa and two chairs positioned before the fire.

“Aye.”

“I didn’t see you in the dinning hall. Have you eaten?” She asked, turning to face him as he closed and bolted the door.

“I had a bite in the kitchen.”

“Good.”

“I ken it isna right for us to be alone like this, but I thought this better than ye bedchamber, an Murtagh will keep watch.” He apologised clearly concerned for her reputation. If she was honest she hadn’t even given it a thought, with him looking like he did, she was more concerned for her virtue, and she was just glad she hadn’t had any more wine.

She was likely to jump him if she had.

“It’s fine, we need to talk. I just wish you’d said something earlier, and I could have gotten my things from my room. I need to change your bandage.”

“T’is through there, Sassenach.” He laughed lightly, his blue eyes shining, as he pointed to a door in the corner. “Ye lost ye way already?”

“Lost it?” She huffed, striding over to the door, “I never had it to begin with.”

Chapter 9

[mouser26]

An oldie but a goodie

So in light of realizing I really don’t have a lot of Mags stories on here I decided to go dig through my old DA account and see if anything survived since I wasn’t the best at cross posting from Y!...and now I feel old cause Y! went down in 2016 and now is back apparently....so yeah  ANYWAYS!!!! Enjoy a gently edited (oh god this was posted how long with those errors?!) first time I and Foxy ever collabed from Nov 2008 aka the First time Mags and Cassius met The Barcrawl ( and to any new readers.....yeah Cassius just talks like that 

Cassius hated Canadian pubs. They insisted on calling them bars, and they never had the right food. How was a guy supposed to enjoy his beer without a proper accompaniment? And why had the yellow insisted on meeting here?

“Oy! You in the purple!” a strident woman’s voice rang out. “Your people tried to blow up my brother!”

“Dat’s righ’,” Cassius rumbled, sipping his beer, “but not me pers’nally. I doan do good wit splosives.”

“Well, I don’t see anyone else here,” she retorted. “Maybe I ought to take a down payment in lumps out of you!”

“I warns yer, lady,” Cassius growled. “I’s tougher dan I looks.”

“You don’t look so tough to me!” Magenta challenged.

“Wow, mouffy AN’ blind,” Cassius rumbled. “You got it bad, sister.”

Magenta’s face grew rosy to where it matched her hat and vest. Without another word, she picked up an unoccupied barstool and brought it down on Cassius’s head.

Cassius didn’t flinch; he took his beer bottle and smashed Magenta across the face, sending her soaring towards the leisure section of the bar.

She landed in the midst of a game of eight ball, and, cursing, picked up the cue stick underneath her. She stood up in the middle of the table and kicked the three and the fifteen balls at Cassius’s chest. With one fluid move, she jumped from the billiard table to the bar and pivoted, breaking the cue across Cassius’s face.

Cassius picked himself up off of the floor. Seeing Magenta aim a kick at his face, he seized the leg she was standing on and hurled her bodily into the plate glass window at the bar’s façade.

He grabbed another bottle and waited; she’d be back. One of the patrons with more alcohol than brains approached Cassius, who was picking shards of glass out of his knuckles.

“How dare you hit that lady!” He accused. “That’s not very nice at all.”

“Neither is she,” Cassius growled, “an she hit ferst. I jes hit ‘er back.”

He saw Magenta coming, and he braced for the impact. Outside, she’d landed next to a ‘Valet Parking’ sign for the restaurant next door, and she brought it with her. It caught him squarely in the side, breaking three ribs.

He grunted, and snapped the sign in half.

The patron turned to Magenta who said, “Don’t interfere!” and punched him.

Cassius grabbed the patron’s leg, Magenta grabbed his arm, and together they threw him bodily over the bar. He took out the shelf of high-end liquor and the mirror, and lay groaning behind the bar. Most of the patrons had fled; the bartender was nowhere to be seen.

“What a waste,” Cassius mumbled. “Lookit all dat good booze fallin’ on der floor.”

Magenta straightened her neck with an audible crack. “Not bad, Twinkle-toes. You ARE tougher than you look!”

“An’ yer no sloch eider,” Cassius conceded, drinking rum from a bottle with the top broken off. He offered her the bottle, and she took a long drink.

Idly, Cassius took a long splinter out from her violet hair. “Dat woulda hurt when you put yer hat back on.”

Cassius dusted the glass shards off of his purple vest. “Okay, yer smashed der stool on me head, n' I walloped yer wit der beer bottle, den you broke der poolcue 'cros m' teef, n' I sent you troo der window,” he counted out on his fingers. “Split der damage downna middle?"

“You forgot the cracked ribs, the pool table, and the guy we both sent into the bar display,” she corrected, “Otherwise it all sounds fair.”

Cassius nodded and took out his wallet. He counted several large bills and placed them under the bar counter, weighing them down with the bartender’s shotgun. “He wuz askin' fer it, callin yer a lady 'n sayin I ourtn't smack yer,” 

“An’ doan worry 'bout der ribs. I've broke dese tings more times'n I cn count. He should have ter pay fer der mirror doh, on accoun' o' his head doin' der breakin'." Cassius spat out a gob of blood. “Can’ stann innerlopers.”

Magenta snorted. “I smacked you first, you were fair ta shmack me back.” She felt her mouth, where her lower lip was already starting to match her hair. “Shon ova bish! I'm shwelling!” She clapped Cassius on the back. “Good job! Thas shom right hook ya got there.”

“I’d box, but der’s no one big enough to fight,” Cassius said, apologetically. “I'd buy yer a roun', but der bar appears to be desert'd. I know 'n all night biker bar. No place fer a lady, but yer orter be okay. I wanna see 'f yer cn drink's well as yer fight. Say, do yer like karaoke?”

“Did weh not jusht a'tablish I aint no god damn lady?” Magenta demanded. “And fer crooning a tune even if i did like it the lishener ushlly don't. LESH GO! Wait a minute, thish biker bar doesh karaoke?”

“Not yet,” Cassius rumbled. “But dey will.”

*~*~*

Hours and many many MANY drinks later Cassius and Magenta staggered tipsily down the street. “I can' bleev dat guy hekkled us berfore we got troo der first vers,” Cassius growled. “Good ting I hit him inna head wif dat hurled bottle.”

Magenta glared at him. “YOU hit him with a thrown bottle? I beg to differ. I threw that bottle, shir.”

“I hit ‘im inna head,” Cassius corrected. “YOU hit ‘im inna crosh.”

“Good point,” Magenta conceded. “ But I WARNED you I don't shing! And can you believe that whore that shaid my hair was shtupid? I mean what the fuck! She had a fucking hole in her ear the shize of a 28 gauge shell with a fucking ANKER in her lip! I have violet hair an I'm weird?!”

Cassius smirked. “I like yer hair. Mash's m' suit. An, I don' sing eider, but we got's der harm'ny down pat. Don' worry 'bout dat chick. When she wakes up wid der stishes inner forhed she'll know who's shtupid lookin'.”

Magenta howled with laugher. “DAMN SHTRAIGHT! By the by thanksh for docking her boy toy. Elsh I wouldn't have been able to shlash her sho good.”

Cassius shrugged. “Is no problem. Yer good wit dat swishblade!”

Magenta smiled. “Shtill, you are a-shom.” She tried to pat Cassius on the back, but missed the mark by a few feet.

Cassius grinned an evil smile. “He made it easy. Whenever I sees a guy wif nipple clamps anna chain froo 'em, I finks 'Dat's jes beggin t' be yanked.' I din' know he hadda Prince Albert hooked to it too, but dat's his prerorg...perogga..”

“Prerogative?” Magenta supplied

“Dat’s der bunny!” Cassius agreed.

Mags giggled. “Bunny...Shtupid fashin shatement sho was ashkin' for it! Even I don't shcream that fucking girly.”

“Der’s lotsa ways a guy cn look tough,” Cassius rumbled thoughtfully. “Dat’s gotta be one o’ der dumbest I seen, an’ dat’s sayin’ sumtin’.”

“You know,” she mused. “For a Purple, you’re not half bad.”

“An’ you’re pretty decent fer a Red girl, too,” Cassius said.

Magenta bristled. “What’s that supposed to mean? Just because I’m a girl means I can’t pull my weight? Or do you have something against Reds?”

“Nuttin’ gainst eider,” Cassius amended. “I jes tink I’m bedder at some a’ dis dan you.”

“Put your money where your mouth ish,” Mags retorted. “I’ve got a hundred bucksh that says I can do anything you can.”

“Alrigh’,” Cassius said, smirking. “Der blacks ‘ave a buildin’ roun’ here, righ’?”

“They do,” Magenta agreed, slowly. “It’s an office they ush when they’re trying to get at the White HQ, which is kinda all the time anymore.”

“Righ’,” Cassius said. He smiled and rubbed his hands together. “We gots a wager. Whoever gess der potted plant outta Black’s office is der better spy. Yer caught, ya lose. Deal?” He held out his enormous hand.

“Deal!” Mags agreed, shaking his hand.

“In der innerests of fairness,” Cassius rumbled, “We go dere inna same cab.”

“One question: what happensh if we Both get caught?”

“Den we bofe lose,” Cassius replied. “An’ we’re ebenly mashed as Spies. We calls it a draw.”

*~*~*

Rusty raised an eyebrow as he looked at the unknown number flashing on his phone. It was a sealed number though so it has to be someone familiar he reasoned as he answered, "Resident robo speaking."

“Rusty?” Mags asked. “It’s me. I need a pick-up at…WHAT PRECINCT IS THIS?...precinct 18, downtown… wait, WHICH DOWNTOWN? ….I’M FROM GATINEAU THAT’S WHY!…Ottawa. Can you bring bail money for…I see ten, but only four of them are ours.”

“Remin’ me,” Cassius groaned, “How did we end up here?”

“Well after we caught you two bickering over the theft of a potted plant,” Seventy-two started, “Brother and I convinced you two that dancing would be as much fun as Karaoke. So, we went downtown to the hippest club and somehow managed to get in.”

“I think the big guy bribed the bouncer,” Twenty-seven mused. “But regardless of how, we got in. The hottest dance crew in town was on the floor, they danced in front of us,”

“We got challenged,” Seventy-two continued. “I told the big guy and the woman. They looked at each other,”

“And together, they punched out the front man,” finished Twenty-seven. “Then, they proceeded to mop the floor with the rest of the crew.”

“Hey,” Mags retorted, “if they didn’t want to get beat up, they shouldn’t have thrown down in the first place. Besides it was a fair fight: two of us, eight of them.”

“That was bad enough,” Seventy-two said, “but did you two have to take on the whole SWAT team?”

“Dey said her hair was funny,” Cassius mumbled. “I had to knock dose tree out, odderwise we’d be in for longer. Smackin’ a cop is a shorter sen’ance dan rippin’ ‘is goolies off via his nosdril.”

“I would have done nothing of the sort,” sniffed Magenta.

“Then why did you threaten to do just that?” Seventy-two countered. “Every man in the club winced in sympathy pain.”

“Sides, der cops asked us nicely to come along,” Cassius said. “If dey’s willin’ to be polite abou’ it, I figger we might as well come ‘long peaceably.”

“They hit you with three tear gas grenades and tazered you at least six times,” protested Twenty-seven. “That’s what you call polite?”

“Dey dint use der guns or battans,” Cassius said. “Dose tazers were nice; dey tickled. Once Rusty gets ‘ere, I tink I need breakfast. Who wants homme, ommer..”

“Omelets?” Magenta suggested

“Dat’s der bunny!” Cassius agreed.

“I don’t know where you’ll put them,” Mags said. “Over the course of the night, you drank eight beers, fourteen assorted shots, a bottle of rum and a coke, and a centerpiece bud vase with a rose in it.”

“Tought dat one tasted a bit torny,” Cassius rumbled. “An’ yer one ter talk. You matched me on alla dat.”

“Couldn’t have you show me up, could I!” she countered. “And you’re right, it DID taste thorny!”

“MAGS!” Rusty finally yelled, interupting the four-way recounting of what sounded like a wild night.

He could picture Magenta staring at the receiver in her hand a moment before remembering who was on the line, “Hey Rusty.”

"... You do know I record all my calls, right?"

"...Fuck."

Rusty managed to hold in a chuckle, “Do we need an armored car or can I just pick you up?"

"Uh... I got two blacks and a purple...what do you think?

"... Fuck, I'm just going to get the nice company car to do this kind of crap. Google maps says I'll be there in about Forty-five minutes. Are you armed? Wait, don't answer that. ... WHAT are you armed with?"

"I left my babies at home. I HAD A SWITCHBLADE BUT THEY TOOK IT!"

“Actually you lost it when that one dancer kicked your hand,” Twenty-seven chirped.

“And his girlfriend tried to bite your ear off,” Seventy-two added

“Oh yeah…”

“Probably for the best...” Rusty muttered quietly. "Well, I'll get your spare from your desk as a security blanket of death. How's that? Anything else I should know about? What are the sobriety levels?"

"Hang on let me check… How sober are you bitches?!"

"Hung-over and hungry!”

“Dat depends,” Cassius mumbled. “Did I jes step on m’own fingers?”

“No sir,” an unknown voice, Rust assumed another prisoner cried. “You’re standing on mine.”

“Den nuttin’ a Bloody Mary woan fix,” Cassius said. “Or are yer a scewdriver woman?”

“I’m a Sonic Screwdriver woman, thanks to my darling partner. Electrolytes over acid. There’s your answer,” she said into the phone. 

"... I'll have Laurie call me en route to see what's open. On my way."

“Thanks Rusty!”

“Den les’ get outta here,” Cassius picked up the groaning twins by the back of their belts. “I got der lightweights. C’n you get der door?”

“Yep. Hey Rust, we’ll be outside. Trust me, you can’t miss us.” She hung up the jail cell’s pay phone.

“Let’s go”

“Damn!” Cassius smacked his forehead with the heel of his right hand, eliciting a groan from twenty-seven.

“What’s wrong?” Magenta asked, picking the jail cell lock.

“I wuz gonna meet a Yellow at der bar we net at.”

“Really?” Magenta looked up from the lock. “I was supposed to meet a Yellow there too. Think the bastard set us up?”

“Hell of a coinkydink,” Cassius growled, shifting his hold so he had the twins under each arm safe and sound.

“Next time I’m thank the bitch before I shoot him,” Mags soothed as she finally devoted her attention to the lock, earning a laugh from the purple agent.

[sparkwhorunswithwolves]

I don’t know why, but now I’m picturing Peter as a tiny kitten agressively shredding Chris’ “clothes”.

Fashinable Hunter Clothes become a thing by accident, because Chris doesn’t really care what they put him in on a day to day basis, but he also doesn’t have the same range of motion in some of those things and “Clothes in a fight are not optional, Peter“.

---

Chris nearly has a heart attack when he sees the nipple pircings.

Victoria calls Chris the second Peter left the building because that was Rude and is Just Not Done. And deserves to be Punished.

Because this is where Peter miscalculated.

He’s had his half hour of peacocking half naked through Victoria’s office, but he then leaves them alone, and with no way of getting his hands on them either.

So he gets to his hotel room, they text for a bit, and Peter spends the night feeling smug about himself.

Until he gets to the meeting, and is prepared to waste 3 to 5 hours listening to these idiots talk.

He gets the first text an hour into the meeting, asking him how it’s going.

Then he gets the pictures; Victoria in a white lacy top, her back to the camera; Chris in a light grey shirt that’s at least 2 sizes too small and tight pants that leave nothing to the imagination.

And Peter will never not appreciate pictures of his 2 favourite people, but he also knows them enough to not trust this.

Chris bend over his car, clounds in the background.

A picture of both of them together in the rain, completely soaked, their clothes hiding absolutely nothing.

Both of them in their bed after sex, halfway through the meeting.

Peter is stuck here for the next 4 days. He doesn’t like this game anymore. :(

Chris Argent + tight shirts

[eurazia]

Is there proof that charioce is interested in nina romantically? Cause he could be interested in her since nina is an interesting girl but not to an extent it's a romantic pursuit.

That’s an interesting question anon, thank you for asking that omg, is this my time to make the analysis?? Yass bring it on~

(I shall provide this post with the right amount of pictures~)

Since you’re asking about Charioce, I’ll stick with him only (approved the fact Nina is already deeply infatuated confirmed lol)

First of all, there’s a thing we have to clarify, which is the fact that Charioce rarely - if not never - shows his emotions openly. More like the snb staff doesn’t want to show them and I seriously both love and hate them for this (mostly love tho), so to look for proofs about his feelings for Nina may be a hard quest.

However

There’s really no doubt he’s got his interest over her.

People were recently talking about an interview in which there was pointed Charioce didn’t have love feelings for Nina until episode 6, and that’s reasonable. I believe in love at first sight, but that too has to evolve and can’t take only an arm wrestling match to improve ahah!

Let’s see together how his feelings evolved.

This is him just interested in her back in epiosde 3.

The moment something he’ll never forget happened

This is him still just interested, but a bit more. I mean, he’s interested here, we easily get it, but that smile is the intrigued one imho. He’s been fashinated by her charm. Or it’s just he has a strength kink lol idk

That said, episode 6 is the point things evolve for the best and aaaaah we get to the charinina most loved scene (after the whole ep 13 and the dance, that’s it): the pepper scene!Let’s see:

This is him, more interested

This is where they danced. Something is changing, it seems

This is him at the end of the dance

As I said, to see him openly showing feelings is rare. Only when he’s alone, something is showing up:

This is his face. Now, you can see the difference,right? 

I meeeeeannn–

Until we go to the clou:

Here he’s worried about her

This is him being relieved she’s fine and awake sakhksdbgskdr

This is when he doesn’t understand her, but still accept her 

tHIS is his face while hugging her

This is him worrying about her asjdvkjfksdhasjnkdxrjbg

To say it out loud, my impression of him is he’s a shy dork. He has 0 relationship experience and doesn’t know how to behave towards people he cares about, let alone flirting or something of the kind. 

Here he shows to have 0 points in social skills becuse they don’t talk nor do anything. Still, he managed to offer Nina some chibi bananas. That’s improvement imho. 

He just has no clue about how to talk properly with someone. The point, Chari, you’re missing the point.

We could see that, darling.

This is the please look at me moment

This is the please look at me can’t you see something here? moment 

He simply just can’t. Probably enough, he was internally screaming or his mind was going like bzzz bzzz bzzz we’ve lost connection try again later. Basically, this post describes it in a nutshell.

Now, about the whole conversation “are you enjoying the prison life” and “then why are you fleeing” I want to spend few words to all who criticized that saying he was mean and such.His way of making small talks is wrong, I’ll give you that. He just doesn’t know what to talk about because the stare move didn’t work as predicted lol

This is the dork who laughs at his own jokes before telling them.Yeah I know it can be unrelated, but it prooves his introvert being once more. Ando also it was noticable lol

Also keep in mind we’ve never had the chance to properly see Charioce’s face when there’re a cute or kinda important charinina moments 

The cute one

The important one

This is Chari who’s forgotten he’s in the middle of an important issue and his plan of small talks is also pretty much failing

So, back to the topic, we’re finally at the latest episode (!!!! I’ll try to stop fangirling and talk in the most serious possible way, I promise) and there’s only one thought that firstly come to my mind: he’s mindblowing like me.

I mean, he’s the human king, he’s in the middle of a war against the angels/gods who’re literally destroying and setting on fire the town, he’s using his final weapon that’s still under tests and it’s not safe to say he won’t get damage by that and… in all this, KABOOM - to quote him - a lady crush into his face like !!!! What’s going on???

See how shocked he was when she transformed. I’m sure he had his doubts, maybe he thought she could summon the dragon or something. But to think she was the real one? I think he didn’t consider that as reasonable.

So yeah, he’s in mindblowing.

You can’t blame him tho, in a few moments he lost an eye, got a beauty asking to hug her, found out that same beauty is a dragon, touched the dragon, wow I was right the dragon is the beauty, grabbed the beauty, and last but not the least zombie girl stole the beauty, what a shame. I wanted to talk to the beauty more. *looks at the sky longing for you know what*

And just to add another thing here, I don’t think Nina forgot about her speech when she first met the King (before she realized he was Charioce).I mean, Nina is an easy going type of girl, moreover she isn’t involved in the whole human vs demons fight from the start. She’s just an outsider.Of course she thinks hurting others is bad, that’s why she told him, because she’s honest. 

That said, I don’t think she forgot, she’s just a dorky teenager in love so her priorities are simpler than what we could think.

And this is related to the hug scene in episode 13 too, of course. Because crush or not crush, Nina needed to turn into a dragon to save her friends (and I’d have liked if she was able to do it by herself, but you perfectly know I can’t complain at all about how she had to transform ;^)c ;^)c )

So, again, it’s just a matter of priorities, not forgetting, forgiving or something like that.

To end this quickly, as I’ve taken enough of your time already, if you don’t like to say he is in love at least “he cares for her” is 100% legit

On my account, I’d say they are in love, but in case you wouldn’t like it put like that, there’s undoubtedly proof they’re both interested into each other! 😍

[lubdubsworld]

Under my skin (Namjoon/Oc)

Chapter 5

"What do you wear to a non date? You know where you go out with a guy but you don't want him to think it's a date? Because you're not into him that way… " I say casually, watching my roommate as she digs through her closet , wrapped in a fluffy white towel .

 She's got an interview in a few hours and she gives me a look of long-suffering, eyes hooded and mouth twisting downwards in displeasure.

 "Ae Rin-ah, you know how I feel about your stunted emotions , your lack of a love life and your fashion sense, why would you put all three of those things in one sentence, it makes me nauseous.." She mutters.

 "Don't be a bitch. Come on, toss me a bone here."

 "Is this the back up dancer you've been sleeping with?" She says with a frown, laying out her own outfit and then going back in to dig through her clothes. As a fashion major she usually had an excess of dresses and t shirts and pants lying around. 

"Uh…" I hesitate just a bit. " Not exactly. "

“Then?”

“it’s his friend.” I mutter under my breath. Jiah frowns deeper and pulls out three dresses, decent calf length gowns with stitched hems and puffy, flowy sleeves. They look decidedly feminine and i wrinkle my nose. 

“How close of a friend are we talking here? Your fuck buddy is okay with you going around with his friend?” 

“It’s not that serious. Remember that cafe I told you about? The one in Gangnam? He’s got tickets for the weekly exhibit and I just want to see it!” I say briskly, grabbing a periwinkle blue dress and holding it up against my body. i’m not fashinably thin, but not exactly voluptuous either. The wide neckline would be wasted on me. 

“Wait, is this the same exhibition you’ve been salivating over for  years ? The one where you can’t get tickets unless you’re super rich or super connected or something?” 

“Yup..” i hum, reaching for the next gown. It’s a soft pink, not garish or overdone and i like it. There’s some lacy white overlay near the neck and pink bows on the sleeves and Jesus, is that a satin bowtie? It’s definitely girly though, and I feel like a little feminity never hurts, you know? 

Except when I hold it up, it falls a few inches short of my knee. Too much skin. 

Rejected. 

Jiah let out a low whistle.

“He got you tickets to a show like that? That sounds very.. romantic and date-y? Okay, does  he  know you’re not into him.??”

I make a noise of impatience. 

“Of course, I told him that.” 

“then why do you feel the need to convey it through oyour clothes as well? if you guys already talked about it, and he knows you’re not interested him, then wear whatever you feel like.” She sounds perfectly sensible, of course , but I still feel a cloying sense of guilt in the pit of my stomach. i don’t know what it is that’s triggering all these negative emoitons in me. 

“I just...Wanna be safe i guess. I don’t know ... i don’t want to hurt either of them.” I say, feeling silly. there’s nothing to be hurt here, i think firmly. there’s no prospect of a serious relationship with either of them anyway. it’s absolutely foolish to even think of something like that. 

they’re superstars. 

I’m a struggling photographer who takes pictures of them. Yoongi just.. well, he likes me for a quick lay, possibly because I could hold a conversation with him when he wanted me to. 

And Namjoon... Namjoon was...

“Ae Rin? Rin.. You listening?!”

I startle, blinking back to focus on her. 

“Uh.. yeah?”

“I said, don’t be the reason their friendship gets shot to hell. it’s a shitty thing to do. “ She says firmly and I nod absently, reaching for the burgundy gown with the lace lining. it looked classy, perfect for a photo exhibit. 

“I’m not getting involved with either of them.” I say firmly, testing the soft silk of the gown. it looks expensive too, texture like flowing water over my fingers. 

“So you say. But honestly, you know that these sex only relationships are never that, right? You end up catching feelings in the end and then it all gets shot to hell. You don’t want that distraction...” 

You see , over the years, I’v realized something. 

Jiah is smart. 

And I’m a reckless fool. 

I ignore her warning and get dressed slowly, texting my location to Namjoon. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

He picks me up in a blue Porsche Cayenne. I fidget uncontrollably as he comes around to open the car door for me, dressed in fitting blue jeans and a plain white button down, face hidden by a mask and hair swept up underneath his fedora. He looks like an idol, even without the fanfare, body taut and firm: all 181 cm of him. 

He greets me normally, because he’s a normal human being, while I try not to feel like an bull in a china shop, fumbling over my syllables like an idiot. 

“You’re late.” I blurt out stupidly and his eyes crinkle like he’s smiling. It’s a shame i can’t catching sight of the dimples that are no doubt underneath that mask.  

He’s incredibly tall, up close and i struggle to feel less like a bug as he helps me into the seat, the musky scent of expensive perfume and clean male skin hitting me in all the right places . Or should I say , wrong places.

“I’m sorry, I was held up a bit by traffic. I hope you’ll forgive me. ” He whispers, eyes fixing on mine with alarming force. It’s almost physically restrictive,. his gaze. Like arms gripping my waist and pinning me to the seat.

Breathing has never been harder.

It’s new and terrifying, this foreign feeling of nervousness and guilt. And it confuses me completely. Namjoon isn’t the sort of person I usually admire. 

Not to say he isn’t attractive.

 He’s intensely masculine, unforgivingly male and there’s just this something in him that would make any girl want to... get down on her knees .

For not-so innocent reasons. 

And that scares me. 

Attarction is one thing : but something about Namjoon tells me he’s dangerous.All consuming. The sort of person who would demand too much. Demand it all. He would probably want to  own  the girl he got together with. 

Well, if you had to belong to someone, he’s not a bad choice  a voice snickers in the back of my mind.

 i know that voice. It’s the same voice that makes me follow idols to five star hotels and let them take naked photos of me. That voice is not to be trusted.

When he slips behind the car wheel, I can’t help but stare at his veiny forearms, the quiet strength of his fingers as he grips the wheel. He’s a confident driver but not cautious like Yoongi. There’s a bit of a rashness in the way he drives, not wild per se but just a little out of the comfort zone. 

 You know what they say about the way a man drives and the way he is in bed,  the voice is back, this time too loud.  Namjoon looks like he could be into some freaky stuff. 

My face is flaming red and I already wish I’d just refused him. 

“The Photographer this week is In Sook Kim... You like her right? I read that she’s your favorite photographer” He says casually and I pull myself together. 

“Read?”

“Your thesis on Florence. It was published in that magazine... i read it.” 

“ She talks about a lot of things : abstarct stuff that people ususlaly tend to ignore. i love that about her. She makes me feel like, ... even if i’m not someone famous or well-known...i’m still special. I want to recreate that sometimes.... ” I say softly, momentarily forgetting my nervousness. 

“She’s done a lot of projects...” 

“I studied one of them. Muses... it came out in 2004. “ I smile brightly. 

“The one with the women from the S and M club?” He smiles faintly, reaching out to take his mask off and it’s a bit like getting a floodlight shoved into my face, the sharp features and the bright gaze.

“uh.. yeah.. That one.. You know it?” i’m surprised. 

“Of course. it’s one of her famous works. I have two copies of it on my bedroom wall.” 

I try not to think of him on his bed , staring up at photos of submissive women in a Sado-Masochism club. 

But i can’t control my face and he laughs. 

“Don’t tell me you’re a conservative woman? “

“I.. no .. of course not. To each their own.” I say swiftly. 

“Hmm... Personally , i think everyone should try BDSM , once .” He shakes his head. 

I struggle to draw in my next breath. 

“I.. uh.. yeah, sure.” 

He must’ve caught the way my voice stuttered. 

“Am i making you uncomfortable?” He looks very unapologetic, almost amused. 

 Very much.

“Not at all. But then, not everyone is like that” I say almost defensively. The very phrase brings out a visceral reaction in me. I’ve seen woman hand over control to men. i’ve seen men take that control, take that power and break that woman down till she stops existing. 

“Like what?” He sais gently.

I bite my lips. 

“Weak and submissive.” i say finally. 

Namjoon laughs out loud

“Weak Submissives? There’s no such thing as a weak submissive, Ae Rin ssi... Submissives are usually very strong people. People who are strong enough to trust their Dom with themselves.” He turned slightly, something challenging in his gaze. 

I swallow. 

“Well, I wouldn’t know.” I snap. “ I’m not one!” 

He makes a soft , soothing sound that oddly comforts me. 

“I’m sorry if that ruffles your feathers,  aegi , I just made a general observation.”

Aegi? did he just call me aegi? I'm not his baby!! . I should be mad, I thought trying to summon up some irritation at the phrase. But all i can feel is warmth spreading out to my toes. 

“I... I’m sorry too. I just.. I shouldn’t have snapped.” I say feeling oddly scolded. 

“Let’s talk something fun, where would you like to have dinner tonight? I have reservation for a Chinese, A Thai and a Continental Place. You pick.” He smiles brightly. 

We talk a bit about our favorites and decide on the Thai place, by which time we’ve reached the cafe. 

As we pull up to the entrance. i glance at the board set up on front. The place is oddly empty and uncrowded which was surprising because the cafe is usually bustling with people. 

 Private Viewing Scheduled. Visitors Prohibited. 

“What?” I say confused when he comes around and helps me out. 

“I’m sorry...I didn’t want to ruin the surprise.. i hope you’ll enjoy this.” He says almost apologetically and i fellt my heart leap into my throat as I follow him into the loungue. The staff greet Namjoon with familiarity, even hugging him. 

“Is she here?” He says brightly and my heart stops. 

“No.. No!1 Kim Namjoon, No!!” I hiss, stunned. 

“You said you like her! You can tell her that in person. She’s in the last room. “

“You.. You’re not..?”

“coming with? Of course not! This is your present. Enjoy it to the fullest.” He smiles brightly. “ I’ll be right here. You can take as long as you want. Our reservation isn’t till eight. That gives you..” He glances at his watch “ Four hours at least.” 

I stare at him, fighting the overwhelming urge to fling myself into his arms . 

“I .. Thank you...I...”

“You can thank me by buying me ice cream the next time we go out.” He smiles and the casual way he tells me he wants to meet me again isn’t entirely lost on me. 

I try to ignore my pounding , breathless heart and move to the room.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

It doesn’t take me four hours. I spend an hour and twenty minutes with the lady, a bright middle aged woman with a pleasant smile. She’s very humble and answers my question with a lot of patience. 

“I don’t usually meet fans or attend private schedulings. But Namjoon’s mother is an old friend and he’s never called me in for a favor before.” She smiles, when I finally shake hands with her to bid her farewell. 

“I.. Thank you. I had such a great time.” My find feels like a well soaked sponge with all the information I’ve crammed into it. She had been kind enough to let me record some of her more complicated ideas, the ones I was afraid I would forget once i got home. 

“He told me you’re interested in an internship, now that you’ve finished your Degree. My studio does take interns... You’re welcome to apply with your portfolio.” She smiles then and i know my jaw has hit the floor. 

“I... really? Are you serious? I mean.. i’m not that good!! ” I’m too stunned to respond properly. 

“Of course. And don’t be so hard on yourself. You got that scholarship didn’t you? The same scholarship, I myself failed to get .” She winks. 

I nod , feeling lost and overwhelmed. 

“I’ll send it in...I will. Thank you so much.” I say softly. 

“Namjoon’s a nice kid. Bit old fashioned , but a nice kid. I hope you treat him well.” She says gently, her eyes warm and soft and it scares me momentarily, the sincerity in her tone. My throat goes try and i quickly shake my head. 

“Oh, no... No! We’re not together. I.. i have a boyfriend!” I say stupidly. She looks surprised.

“Oh.. really? I assumed... When namjoon said... Oh well,” She looks very confused but smiles. “ I’m sorry if i made you uncomfortable.” She finishes awkwardly. 

When I leave the room, my mind is still running in circles. I’m not an idiot. I know that Namjoon isn’t one either. What he’s done today... it goes beyond the boundaries of friendship. Far beyond it. 

And it’s the most terrifying thing I’ve ever felt. Fingers trembling, I make my way to the loungue where I know he’s waiting. He catches sight of me and if i needed anymore proof , it’s there in the way his face lights up when he sees me, twin dimples lighting up on his face. 

i can’t summon up the smile that I ought to give him. In it’s place is liquid terror, spreading through my veins. 

 What are you seeing, when you see me? A pretty young girl with a bright dream? That’s not who i am! There are so many demons inside my skull... they’ll destroy you if you come anywhere near me , Namjoon -ah...

“Hey! Did you have fun....” His smile fades when he sees me and I stop trying to hide it. 

“Hey, what’s wrong?” He says nervously and i swallow. 

“I.. I’m fine. I was just wondering how Yoongi would have enjoyed the exhibit too ” I lie blatantly and it’s funny, how he wears his heart on his sleeve, how his mile gets wiped off his lips and hie eyes lose that sparkle. 

“Thank you for today. I learned so much from her . She even told me I could apply to be an intern and..” I babble mindlessly . 

Namjoon stares at me for a long moment. 

“I'm happy that you’re happy.”  He says softly and I feel out of my depth. 

Later as we sit down to dinner, he tells me about his family, his dog and his little sister. 

“What about your family?” He says casually reaching across the table to refill my wine glass. 

“Uh.. My parents died when I was six.” I say softly. “ I grew up with my stepfather , till I got the scholarship to study in Seoul univ.”

“Is he still around?”

“Uh...I wish he wasn’t.” I say before I can put a stopper on my thoughts. Namjoon glances up sharply and his dimples peek out.

“Ah... that explains a lot.”

“Sorry?”

“the distrust... the way you always keep glancing at the door ... the way you steer the conversation away from amything personal. I bet you’re one of those rare girls who think that a dinner date is far more intimate that a night of hot and heavy sex...” He smiles thoughtfully. I’m momentarily stunned into silence. 

“That’s not... I’m not like that...” I say sharply. 

“It’s not a flaw. Plenty of girls out there have daddy issues. Most of them, in fact. “ He shrugs. 

i feel suddenly affronted.

“I do not have Daddy issues, what the fuck...” The words are out before I can stop myself and he grins. 

“That’s more like it.” He whispers.

“What?” I snap.

“This is more like you. the swearing, The blazing eyes. The heaving breasts. you look like a goddess when you’re angry. You’ve been wearing a mask this evening and I really wish you’d be yourself with me. ” He leans forward and I resist the urge to toss the wine on his face.

“You’re insufferable...i want to leave.” I almost stand but his hand shoots out and grips my wrist, so tight that I whimper, the sound strangled out of me. 

“Don’t be scared, baby. I'm just being honest He whispers. 

“This isn’t a date. Stop calling me that.” I grit out. He lets my wrist go and I wipe at the skin moodily. 

“I know it isn’t a date. I never said it was. “ He shrugs. And then he looks up and there’s a flash of something in his gaze.

“But I hope the next one will be.” He says softly. 

I stare at him and suddenly it strikes me how foolish I’ve been. Of course he’s going to be just like the rest of them.

“You want to have sex with me?” I say blankly. 

“I want to get to know you. To date you... “ He corrects me, leaning forward. 

“You don’t have to splurge for another date. I could blow you in the rest room if you like.” I say it just to shock him but it angers him instead.

“Shut up. Yell back at me if you want... don’t fucking degrade yourself like that. You’re worth far more than a blowjob in a rest room, you silly fool.” He snarls. The words momentarily frighten me. 

“Well, that’s where you’re fucking wrong. I’m not worth ‘ more’. And I’m going to pass on the date. i already have a fuck buddy.” I say softly , leaning back. 

“Yoongi hyung? I know you don’t feel anything for him... You’re using him .You think he’s a safe bet because he’ll never ask for more than what you give. But me...I scare you” He smiles softly and it’s frightening how accurate he is. 

I laugh in disbelief. 

“You think you’re better than him? He took me to the Park Hyatt on our first date..He booked the honeymoon suite for 5000 dollars that night.....i’ve already slept with him a dozen times. i don’t even know you that well.  “ I sound snobbish but the urge to wipe that smirk off his face is overwhelming.

Namjoon smiles.

“Yoongi hyung has a scar on his shoulder. Which one? Left or right?” He smiles.

“What?” I blink. 

“The scar on his shoulder.... which shoulder...?

“I..” I stop drawing a complete blank. did he have a scar? 

“The curtains in your honeymoon suite... do you remember what color they were? “ He smiles , “ the bedsheets.. were they satin or silk...? Do you remeber the conversation you had with him during dinner? Do you remeber what he was wearing that night?” 

It feels a bit like I’ve been sucker punched. i don’t remember any of those stuff. Had never felt the need to ..

“i.. That’s.. Those are physical things.. they don’t mean anything...”

“Oh they would. If Yoongi means anything... those things would mean something too.... But we both know he doesn’t...” 

“Stop.. Namjoon...”

“Give me a chance, Ae Rin.” He says firmly, leaning forward. 

“Take me home.”

“Ae Rin.”

“We’re done. Take me home. Now!!”.

He doesn’t protest. But when he drops me off, his face is somber. 

“I’m not going to back off.” He whispers. 

“Good night Kim namjoon ssi.” 

[cinnamaldeide]

Hannibalwriters’ Alternative Universe #FannibalFicRecs

This is one of the most challenging thing I’ve ever done for this fandom; there are so many Alternative Universe stories, some of them are so different from the canonical Vampire AU which every fandom has to offer. I think I’d want to reward the originality, in this case. I tried to organize my reccs in a sort of “alphabetic” order. I didn’t rec the same author twice: I choose only one work per writer, but this doesn’t mean that the one is their best work, their only Alternative Universe or their only work worth reading; on the contrary! This is supposed to encourage the diffusion of different perspective of the same Universe!

Animal Alternative Universe: The One Where Hannibal is a Cat by @coloredink

Summary: Specifically, he’s Alana’s cat. And Graham is Jack’s dog. They meet. That’s it. That’s the story.

General Audiences

No Archive Warnings Apply

Hannibal Lecter, Will Graham, Alana Bloom, Jack Crawford

Generally Animal AUs tend to antropomorphize the characters involved, partly keeping human traits; in this one that’s not the case. This is an interesting asexual interaction between two animals that don’t need to partake the same specie to fluently interact with one another.

Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics: Mise en Place by @thehoyden

Summary: Pre-heat left him short-tempered and irritable, even worse than usual, but Hannibal had lingered in his office doorway and said, “Come along, Will. No reason to grade on an empty stomach.”

Explicit

No Archive Warnings Apply

Hannibal Lecter, Will Graham; Hannigraham

Of all the A/B/O I could think about, this one strikes me because it permeates the biological aspect so typical of this genre; I’m not even sure I can consider A/B/O an Alternative Universe, and I’d have gladly chose at least one Omega/Omega and one Alpha/Alpha if I could, but there’s always @hannigram-a-b-o-library to thoroughtly look into the matter.

Birds Alternative Universe: Black Swan by @genufa (Warning: still ongoing!)

Summary: “Don’t say Hannibal,” said Beverly. “I’m saying Hannibal,” Will said. Beverly slumped back in the passenger seat, throwing up her hands. “Swans defend territory, Will! They don’t travel! We’re not talking Garrett Jacob Hobbs killing girls in five states, here!”

Teen and Up Audiences

No Archive Warnings Apply

Hannibal Lecter, Will Graham, Beverly Katz, Brian Zeller, Jimmy Price, Bedelia Du Maurier, Jack Crawford, Mason Verger, Frederick Chilton, Leonard Brauer, Chiyoh; Hannigraham, Marlana

Despite the status of this story, I deem important to include this in the Alternative Universes that this fandom has to offer: the writer takes inspiration from the story of an aggressive swan to recreate his relationship with his momentary attentive and confused keeper, but the magical component renders this work original and worth waiting for the next chapter every time.

Guardian Angels Alternative Universe: Chapter 44 of Eggs in a Basket by @granpappy-winchester

Summary: Guardian Angel AU, where Hannibal and Will are guardian angels whose paths cross on occasion and who have different approaches when it comes to their charges.

Teen and Up Audiences

No Archive Warnings Apply

Hannibal Lecter, Will Graham, Abigail Hobbs, Garret Jacob Hobbs; Hannigraham

It has been so difficult to decide which one of this serie of one-shots to include in this post, but I ended up choosing the one where Will and Hannibal have a philosophical discussion on the meaning of being seen and understood by your beloved; I suggest to read all of them, but this one was particularly well done in my opinion.

Horror Alternative Universe: Fais Do-Do by @moku-youbi

Summary: Will finds himself in need of staying at a comfortable and suspiciously remote bed and breakfast. He doesn’t know that its manager is reluctant to let him leave. (I took the liberty to provide one)

Explicit

Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings

Hannibal Lecter, Will Graham, Mischa Lecter, Jack Crawford; Hannigraham

This is not a typical romantic setting; it makes the skin crawls during the reading, but stopping is impossible until the story is finished. As the reader, Will has no idea of what’s appening until it’s too late but, as the saying goes, it takes one to catch one.

Mall Alternative Universe: Make the Yule-tide Gay by @destinyawakened and an orphan account

Summary: What if Hannibal Lecter was Santa and Will Graham was a Mall Cop? Would Christmas still blow white?

Explicit

Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings

Hannibal Lecter, Will Graham; Hannigraham

This whole serie is completely out of every possible projection of the canon Universe, but let’s start from the beginning. Will and Hannibal share the same working environment and a certain propencity for unorthodox festivity celebrations.

Multiple Personality Alternative Universe: Multiplicy (serie) by Not_You

Summary: The one where Hannibal is multiple, not (very) murderous or cannibalistic, and all five of him love Will Graham.

Explicit

No Archive Warnings Apply

Hannibal Lecter, but there are a lot of them, Will Graham; Hannigraham

In perfect agreement with this writer’s style, this work has a certain sweetness that permeates Will Graham and his life; Hannibal and his disparate selves show how difficult it can be to room with more than one personality and getting romantically involved at the same time, with every one of them.

Pianist Alternative Universe: Unchained melody by @mazephoenix

Summary: Will is a concert pianist who’s retired after an ordeal. His biggest fan comes to offer some comfort.

Mature

Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings

Hannibal Lecter, Will Graham; Hannigraham

As so many of the stories this writer created, this work is synthetic but meaningful; the setting recreates a casual encounter between Will and Hannibal in a bar, which evolves in the beginning of their becoming. This is not the only one story I’d suggest of this author, even if I understand their style is peculiar; I enjoy it very much, anyway.

Pokemon Alternative Universe: Chapter 16 of Tasting Flights: Hannibal Drabbles by @unicornmagic

Summary: By request from soundingonlyatnightasyousleep, who wanted a Pokemon AU.

General Audiences

No Archive Warnings Apply

Hannibal Lecter, Will Graham, Jack Crawford; Hannigraham

No matter how short this story is, no matter the fact that this writer is talented and came up with works more elaborated than this one, no matter why they did it, no one made an Alterative Universe just as perfect. I fell in love with it. There’s no way I’m recc’ing something else, not for this post. But you should take a look at the rest, because there’s a whole word of words behind that AO3 account.

Pornstars Alternative Universe: Literally Speaking by @halotolerant (Warning: still ongoing!)

Summary: So someone prompted me with: 'could you write some old-fashioned 'Will getting his prostate stimulated for the first time and going completely out of his mind' porn? Please? And I took that and ran with it and wrote 'Will getting his prostate stimulated IN porn AS as a porn actor'...

Explicit

No Archive Warnings Apply

Hannibal Lecter, Will Graham; Hannigraham

This probably started as the classic story of two pornstars ending up with one another, which is what at the time I wanted to read, but then it completely derailed into this perfeclty fitting Alternative Universe where Will is not only getting the abovementioned prostate stimulation, but also some of his personal tragic events of the first serie; this fic made me realize just how sorrowful the encephalis should have been, more than the show itself did.

Post-Apocalypse Alternative Universe: some say in ice by peppermintquartz

Summary: The end of the world came suddenly.

General Audiences

Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings

Hannibal Lecter, Will Graham, Will Graham’s dog; Hannigraham

This is beautiful in the sort of hannibalesque way that could lead the intere evolution of Will Graham in a fanfiction instead of three slow burning series: Will has to face the fact that life can suddenly change and moral could slow down his escalating evolution. It’s a cold story, made of snow and estinguishing fire in the chimney, and the writer uses a cold style, where taking a hand in your own can warm you up more than the sun.

Professional Killer Alternative Universe: Cu Sith by @slqtherin

Summary: Verger hires Will Graham, a professional killer, to murder Doctor Hannibal Lecter. Will gets a date with a serial killer instead.

Explicit

Graphic Depictions Of Violence

Hannibal Lecter, Will Graham, Will Graham’s dog; Hannigraham

Will is equally frustrated and exasperated by his target, and that’s probably the reason why he wants to shoot in his mouth right after their first banter; fortunately that’s not the case. He hopes to profite from the occasion, but things don’t end the way either he nor Hannibal predicted. But you need to read also the sequel to reach this part.

Role Reversal Alternative Universe: Sleeping in the Knife Drawer by @emungere

Summary: Hannibal’s an FBI agent. Will’s a serial killer. He still has a lot of dogs and dislikes being sociable. Hannibal still wants to wind him up and watch him go.

Teen and Up Audiences

No Archive Warnings Apply

Hannibal Lecter, Will Graham, Jack Crawford

In the remote possibility that Will finds the FBI Agent Lecter interesting, he would take much pleasure in not showing him he’s intrigued. That’s what happens in this story, or at least that’s how I see it, because Will probably wants to push away him, for their own good, playing the aggressive psychiatrist, but ends up fashinated with the darkness that Hannibal doesn’t particularly care to hide.

Single Parent Alternative Universe: Pi’s Lullaby by @t-pock (Warning: still ongoing!)

Summary: Will loses his daughter at the mall. Hannibal returns her to him.

Explicit

No Archive Warnings Apply

Hannibal Lecter, Will Graham, Alana Bloom, Aleksandra Graham (Original Character)

Hannibal falls in love with her, first. Then he sees his father and decides that he’s not a man that settles for less than the whole Graham package; that’s how he decides to start his slow pursue of his beloved little family, instead of Will’s darkest inclinations.

SCP Foundation Alternative Universe: Alive Humanoid Sensory Euclid by @berlynn-wohl

Summary: AU in which Will and Hannibal (and Jack) work for the SCP Foundation. This is also a fill for two prompts on the Hannibal kinkmeme.

Explicit

Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings

Hannibal Lecter, Will Graham, Jack Crawford, Freddie Lounds; Hannigraham

To be honest, more than the story itself, the Alternative Universe fashinates me, when I think about this fic: the writer revisits with a certain fidelity what happens in the first serie, so it’s not the originality per se that I would recommend in here, so much as the way the author adapts this sci-fi Universe to our fandom. It has been incredible reading all about the eccentric objects that Will and Hannibal daily get in touch with.

Soulmates Alternative Universe: Chapter 4 of Alana Finds Out by @victorineb

Summary: In which Alana and Hannibal don’t match, but someone else does.

Mature

Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings

Hannibal Lecter, Will Graham, Alana Bloom; Hannigraham, Hannibloom

This entire serie is probably the quintessence of what this challenge is about: every chapter has its Universe, its dynamycs, and this one beautifully represents the fact that Alana might be perfect, lovely for anyone, but Hannibal and Will are just too taken from one another to see anyone else; obviously they need incentive to admit it.

Unpleasant Theme Alternative Universe: Yourself and People Like You by @metaphoregoneawry

Summary: Meet someone like you.

Mature

Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings

Hannibal Lecter, Will Graham, Frederick Chilton; Hannigraham

I can’t even begin to describe how this story hurts. All over. But this is not a good reason to not read it: their tragic situation can’t end well, the writer promisses suffering and desperation in a subtle, constant way; this doens’t stop Hannibal from trying to grasp what little happiness he can afford in Will.

Zombies Alternative Universe: Hierarchy of Needs by @xzombiexkittenx

Summary: It’s the end of the world and everyone’s immediate needs have changed. It’s also Hannibal’s chance to have everything he wants.

Explicit

Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings

Hannibal Lecter, Will Graham, Bedelia Du Maurier, Margot Verger, Mason Verger, Judy; Hannigraham, MargotJudy

Instead of a confused battle for surviving, this story describes every stages that the humanity should go through in order to gain what it has lost. Will knows about Hannibal’s proclivities, but he has to adapt to a new world, where being a cannibalistic serial killer doesn’t make him the worst monster in the planet.

This has been exausting; the computer shut down twice and so I had to learn how to save drafts, but it’s finally finished. I know there could be a lot more to rec, and I hope someone takes the trouble to rec Shark Tank, since I went for the Zombie AU one. I didn’t include Crossovers or Rarepairs, nor did I went for pairings different from Hannigram, if not secondary, but I suspect this post is already too long for anyone to read it all; if your’re here, I’m obviously wrong, and I’m happy to be! Thank you very much @hannibalficwriters for this opportunity to remember that this fandom has so much to give, so much to discover, still after so much time.

[ibeautifulbeard]

Ok so I just finished the book and I need to point out some very important details. I’m going to apologise in advance for my verbal diarrhea and for people who read this book and like it, this is just my honest opinion on it. Ofc there will be spoilers for the plot, but basically is a les mis based plot, so no problem in truth. Firstly yes, it’s les mis related, the main character is Javert ffs, it has to be. The first chapter, the pup, in my opinion is the only one really interesting and “new”, like we can see Javert’s childhood and how he comes to be a police spy.  The resto of the book I didn’t like. Javert is always depicted as this irreproachable tool of the law and I think that the aouthor with this book just wanted to enlight the rare scenes where we can see that Javert is indeed a man. The idea is briliant, but the application is lacking.  Which is the faster way to see humanity in a character? Obviously is to put a romantic interest, yay. It seems to me just farfetched for a man such as him to be interested in these “shallow” things. I can’t express my thoughts properly due to the language barrier so bear with me, sorry for any errors.  By all means all men can love and have feelings but how the author wrote his inclinations both to the prostitutes and Michelle (the love interest), very occ for me. A little thing about Michelle is that she is this character that we see through the book as a woman in love for Javert and then when he asks her mother whether he could seriously court her and she says nope, Michelle just leaves everything and marries Combeferre.  Yes, that one, so she is also at the barricade and she tries to save Javert (obv she fails and we all know how he comes to be rescured).  Javert’s character is one of my most treasured just because his way of thinking is so sure and captivating, he know what he is saying and doing with his life. That is why it’s such an important moment for him when he finds himself on the pont au change and jumps in the river. It’s so striking and fashinating to see into his mind and it’s one of the most memorable scenes.  So of course you must understand my surprise to see that the whole process last not even one page and Javert says almost nothing, it’s not analysed at all or talked this decision. Ah and luckly a boat hits him in the back so that Michelle (who was there to see his husband’s corpse (?)) can catch him and save him. It’s not important that he changes several plot points of les mis because this book is not les mis, it’s just a fan book about a character, althought some of the changes are useless and really change nothing. And do not get me started on the dates and how the character’s ages are costantly and randomically changing. Like ok, javert is 20, Valjean at 27 in Toulon, then it’s said that they have 11 years of difference, for example. Valjean dies of... something? At the end, after carrying Marius and the barricade, just 2 weeks later. I have to point out that cosette and marius are well and still not married, Valjean and Javert carried Marius body to cosette straight after the sewers. Moreover Valjean at this point explained everything to Cosette and who was the inspector and where he was going now. So we do not know how actually Jean dies, maybe cholera? Boh.  There are many other things but I pointed out the most pressing, for me at least. In the end I didn’t really like the story or the way it’s written, maybe because I had so many expectations but in the end the most sad thing is that the whole psicology and way of thinking of Javert was not pointed out and analysed, and so are most of the topics which are just mentioned through the book.  Holy god, sorry for the long post and I’m too lazy to actually reread everything that I wrote, I hope that you can still understand what I’m trying to say. As I said it’s just my opinion and you can easly like the book or think whatever you want. If you want to talk about it or something you can always write to me here.  Sorry again.

Internal screaming.

I'm already way behind schedule for Thursday'exam, but I don't really care at this point honestly.

Just look at this. I'm so freaking happy.

Funny bit, I ordered the book so that I could read it after the exam but it came in 3 days before the scheduled date of arrival. I'm not complaining tho.

[savetopnow]

2018-04-01 12 BIT COIN now

BIT COIN

@AmberBaldet

Incredibly brave young woman [email protected] is raped, intimidated, and harassed by multiple cops, yet doesn’t yield; her story leads to laws changing, and the NYT doesn’t mention her by name and instead congratulates the dude who interviewed/wrote about her. Do better. https://twitter.com/brentnyt/status/979810651957850112 …

There comes a time when the operation of the machine becomes so odious that you can't take part. You've got to put your bodies upon the gears and wheels and indicate to the people who own it that unless you're free, the machine will be prevented from working at all -Utah Phillips

I wasn’t surprised or more outraged than usual about all this, but I did finally hit the last straw of wanting to participate in the gross machine; hard logged out & unintalled all FB apps 2 weeks ago, no ragrets. (Deleting does nothing for US users & limits future choices) https://twitter.com/newsycombinator/status/979826208262246402 …

Georgia passes a bill that’s bad news for security researchers. https://www.eff.org/deeplinks/2018/03/georgia-passes-anti-infosec-legislation …

Alright, it's on. Mid-late twenties black woman seeks white male mentor in Startup, VC, Equity space. Must be wokety woke, preferably happily married feminist with a feminist wife who's equally dope, cuz I'm not trying to get harassed this year. RT please.

@AriDavidPaul

Their fault for texting. We need to go back to old fashioned communication with greater human connection: AOL instant messenger. https://twitter.com/dickerson_des/status/979867128143794177 …

Laura has a great podcast. We chatted about security, custody improvements, and ASIC resistance. https://twitter.com/laurashin/status/979762986372947969 …

2/ Or just put the whole treasury in cryptokitty accessory stickers. https://www.kittyhats.co/

Projects ask me about treasury management. I say, "you're already all-in on crypto. Your project is pro-cyclical in all regards. Your costs are all in USD. You should be 100% USD in your treasury." ...death stares. "Fine you want to gamble, at least be 50% USD." https://twitter.com/twobitidiot/status/979507369448296455 …

I came up with a half dozen religion-cryptocurrency jokes, but I'd rather avoid offending believers in both. Beautiful setting for a fun discussion with @prestonjbyrne, Joel, and Rebecca moderating. https://twitter.com/JohnnyAntos/status/979136970860441600 …

@ErikVoorhees

The Evolution of Religion https://whyevolutionistrue.wordpress.com/2018/03/29/the-evolution-of-religion/amp/?__twitter_impression=true …

Crazy right? Well this exact thing happened in 1933 with gold... https://imgur.com/a/gWpuu  Government cherishes its ability to debase and control money. Not much longer will they have that power. #bitcoin

FCC authorizes Elon Musk's SpaceX to provide broadband satellite services https://www.cnbc.com/2018/03/29/fcc-authorizes-elon-musks-spacex-to-provide-broadband-satellite-services.html?__source=sharebar%7Ctwitter&par=sharebar …

Software Daily Podcast: ShapeShift with Erik Voorhees https://www.softwaredaily.com/post/5abe18fc6422da00046b628c?platform=hootsuite … # via @software_daily #bitcoin #EndTheFed #fiat

If someone proposes that "blockchain can solve X"... ask them "Which blockchain?" If they are confused by that question, they may not know what they're talking about.

@Excellion

You had us at satellite connections @TREZOR. We’ll take 50. https://twitter.com/trezor/status/980218726250438656 …

Japanese customer service is top notch. https://twitter.com/nathantolbert/status/979540725179256832 …

I truly wish Bitcoin and cryptocurrency in general had higher-quality critics. The people who have been making the same tired arguments since BTC was at 1/50th it’s current hashpower and 1/100th it’s current price are just not worth engaging with.

#LightningNetwork mainnet has reached 10 BTC capacity! https://1ml.com/statistics  #Lightning #LN #bitcoin $BTCpic.twitter.com/Z70fYyWSIw

It's fashinating: w/ negligible exceptions, almost every single line that you can read on newspapers about Bitcoin & related topics are ABSOLUTELY wrong/false. Not just slightly incorrect or oversimplified: the complete, exact OPPOSITE of reality! My favourites:

@KevinRose

New KRS Podcast: @adamgazz M.D. / Ph.D - Improving your brain with medically prescribable video games: https://www.kevinrose.com/single-post/Adam-Gazzaley …

Reminder: Mister Rogers stamps are now available at USPS, just ordered mine: https://store.usps.com/store/results?_dyncharset=UTF-8&Dy=1&Nty=1&siteScope=ok&_D%3AsiteScope=+&Ntt=mister+rogers&search=&_D%3Asearch=+&_DARGS=%2Fstore%2Fcartridges%2FSearchBox%2FSearchBox.jsp …

can't wait to read this!! https://twitter.com/jasonfried/status/976850741985009664 …

So many cool topics in this episode...more reasons to use the sauna. https://twitter.com/foundmyfitness/status/975769511788929024 …

Happy Wednesday, much love to you all.

@Melt_Dem

"If you see fraud and wait to say fraud until the market has retraced 70%, you are a fraud." - @_jillruth This applies to almost everyone in crypto. https://twitter.com/APompliano/status/979760554272272390 …

“with their reach considerably larger than any college professor, (insert famous VC name) apes expertise in an effort to get us to believe that the best society is one where men like him determine legitimacy.” - @girlziplocked slays me https://medium.com/@girlziplocked/paul-graham-is-still-asking-to-be-eaten-5f021c0c0650 …

is it bad that i view someone calling me “an absurdist, contrarian crypto troll” as a compliment? paging my mom aka @D_Demirors - can you put that on the fridge at home?

can we have a support group called "bag holders anonymous"? asking for a friend...

so excited for the US version of Crypto Finance Conference! if it's anything like the St Moritz, it's going to be absolute FIRE! https://twitter.com/marcpbernegger/status/979240765741240320 …

@Naval

The biggest cost of politics is that it can cause you to have comforting, false, and ultimately expensive beliefs about business and science.

"You two are having a kid? That kid is going to be *so smart*" "Why do you say that?" "Because it will be your kid" "So?" "..." "Say it" "..." "SAY IT" "..." "SAY IT!" [defeated voice] "because secretly we all believe that IQ is real and has a significant genetic component"

Small tip: If you’re in the tech industry, make the effort to have a clean email address. “[email protected] ” signals poorly.

The Hedonic Ratchet

Fair people make fair offers. https://twitter.com/naval/status/979865634639986688 …

@NeerajKA

Anyone else seen these around Williamsburg?pic.twitter.com/qdab8wCFTD

The Sinbad Shazaam movie is real

Thinking about Jeb!’s turtles

Everyone donate to Coin Center so I can buy this jump suit http://coincenter.org/donate

@antoniehodge can I expense this

@NickSzabo4

When the email hosts, the web hosts, the domain registrars, the banks, the payment systems, the censors and the politicians crack down on crypto... only then will we see the true power of decentralization.

All phones have spy backdoors these days. But if you live outside of China buy a phone from Huawei and use encrypted communication apps. That way it’s the Chinese spying on you and they don’t share your data with US / EU spy agencies #PickYourSpies

We will look back on the idea that government bonds can be "risk-free" as a kind of collective insanity: "Despite history and facts, associating the word 'risk' with UST is for some reason blasphemous among financial professionals." ht @michaellebowitz https://realinvestmentadvice.com/the-mind-blowing-concept-of-risk-freeier/ …pic.twitter.com/IgyCNqQBiq

Welcome to the UK in 2018, where publicly elected officials snitch on citizens for saying things they don't like it and call for their imprisonment.pic.twitter.com/auBXFA1lVv

how a well diversified modern portfolio management strategy would have managed in 1912 https://www.ibtimes.co.uk/holy-grail-hedge-fund-strategy-handle-black-swan-size-world-war-i-1576915 …

@SatoshiLite

Now, for something totally random. How do you spell this? After voting, read this: https://www.seventeen.com/celebrity/news/a32934/the-berenstein-berenstain-bears-conspiracy-theory/ …

The rumors are true. We'll be holding the first ever Litecoin Summit this September in San Francisco. We'll update http://www.litecoinsummit.org  as we have more information. Hope to see you there!

Also, this introduces a risk for miners to include any transactions, because any transaction could potentially be a double spend that the miner didn't know about. It creates a mine field for miners. Would give miners incentives to mine empty blocks.

A simple attack would be to broadcast a double spend and send each transaction to half the network. If the double spend gets mined, then 50% of the network would orphan. You now just cut the networks total hashpower in half. Keep doing that to disrupt the whole network.

The job of blocks is trying to determine which transactions are real. Doing that outside of blocks is like trying to solve the byzantine general problem all over again. Satoshi already solved that with the blockchain!

@TuurDemeester

Stanley Jevons: Historically speaking … gold seems to have served, firstly, as a commodity valuable for ornamental purposes; secondly, as stored wealth; thirdly, as a medium of exchange; and, lastly, as a measure of value. https://medium.com/@vijayboyapati/the-bullish-case-for-bitcoin-6ecc8bdecc1 … @real_vijay

Weekend poll

Pro memoria: the team behind Raiden (lightning for Ethereum) promised a Minimum Viable Product by March last year. https://medium.com/@brainbot/update-from-the-raiden-team-on-development-process-announcement-of-raidex-6c94b4edcf73 … Progress bar here: https://github.com/raiden-network/raiden/milestone/9 …pic.twitter.com/mBGnxU0oHe

"There are so many firms peddling AI capabilities of unproven value that someone should start “an AI fake news” channel, quips Tom Siebel, a Silicon Valley veteran."pic.twitter.com/61PzC6K4H6

Dotcom-like dilemmas: "If they invest huge sums in AI early on, they run the risk of overcommitting themselves or paying large amounts for worthless startups (...). But if they wait too long, they may leave themselves open to disruption from upstarts, as well as from rivals ..."

@VitalikButerin

From the department of "math problems that have unexpectedly large, but still finite, solutions". See also: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Look-and-say_sequence#Growth_in_length …https://twitter.com/fermatslibrary/status/971385056668286978 …

I just published "Governance, Part 2: Plutocracy Is Still Bad": https://vitalik.ca/general/2018/03/28/plutocracy.html … @VladZamfir @dannyryan

The State of Ethereum Union - Ex Unitate Vires https://blog.cosmos.network/ethereum-and-cosmos-bae657645e31?source=linkShare-aa134d2d5140-1522374466 …pic.twitter.com/IZlcCWSNUq

Over 5 days and that https://www.facebook.com/VitalikButerln  account has still not been removed. Shame on you, @facebook. BTW, can someone who has not yet deleted their instagram account please report https://www.instagram.com/vitalik.buterin  ? I HAVE NO SOCIAL MEDIA EXCEPT REDDIT AND TWITTER.https://twitter.com/VitalikButerin/status/977557216080273414 …

Here are a few examples of anomalous cancellations: a particular kind of arithmetic procedural error that gives a numerically correct answer. Can you derive a few elementary properties of anomalous cancellations?pic.twitter.com/ecUbejoQfQ

@WhalePanda

"Where's Wally" game on Google maps.pic.twitter.com/LG6kCqPrQ6

#Bitcoin mempool (unconfirmed transactions) vs #Bitcoin UTXO set size (unspent outputs) during the last 12 months.pic.twitter.com/nqfNmLGGe0

If we roll back the chain and bail out the plant, there was never really a nuclear meltdown. https://twitter.com/bascule/status/979764534771511297 …

Dear IRS, I also lost all the coins I had left after my tragic boating accident by accidentally revealing my private keys on a video. So $crypto will never be mainstream and I quit. Love, Panda. https://twitter.com/MrBeastYT/status/979227177165172736?s=19 …

I might just be a grumpy old panda but I don't actually enjoy April Fools' Day pranks. Most are unimaginative, silly and predictable. I prefer sarcasm, word play, memes and gifs with a slight hint of political incorrectness.

@aantonop

That article is by @starsoup7 who's written a lot on the topic of design in our industry. I'm reading up, better late than never...

Important work on design principles for blockchain apps: https://medium.com/design-ibm/blockchain-design-principles-599c5c067b6e …

Very important work. Design is an underappreciated skill in our industry. This article is about UI/UX design in DApps https://twitter.com/lyricalpolymath/status/979689345937477632 …

Sounds like the Nazarean cult is afraid of some competition

LOL https://twitter.com/weareyourfek/status/980164659054632960 …

@brian_armstrong

Made a new friend in the Amazon, Avi, joined us on the boat ride https://www.instagram.com/p/Bg-CzsylEQ0/

Friend made on the Amazon river, Avi https://www.instagram.com/p/Bg9P6TUlz1m/

Lots of rain today, but quite warm. Amazon rainforest https://www.instagram.com/p/Bg7aOwvFamE/

Old Spanish churchs in Latin America https://www.instagram.com/p/Bg6017NF-TT/

Amazon river https://www.instagram.com/p/Bg6dImilfXI/

@gavinandresen

The Ventures @ CICS (@umasscs) event will be held on April 3rd. See you there. #Entrepreneurship https://www.cics.umass.edu/event/ventures-cics-panel-networking-event …pic.twitter.com/HDQ9AmAhly

We’ve created https://doublespend.cash  -- a tool demonstrating Bitcoin XT’s ability to monitor double spends on the Bitcoin Cash network

After a devastating earthquake in 2010, the world collectively pledged about $13B to aid to Haiti. That's enough to give every Haitian a 50% pay increase for 3 years (on average) and far less than we'd need to fund a #crypto #UBI there. https://jamespflynn.com/2018/03/21/the-cryptoeconomics-of-funding-a-universal-basic-income/ …

Damned if you do, damned if you don't? http://gavinthink.blogspot.com/2018/03/precautionary-principle-problems.html?spref=tw …

What’s new with BlockSci, Princeton’s blockchain analysis tool: https://freedom-to-tinker.com/2018/03/15/whats-new-with-blocksci-princetons-blockchain-analysis-tool/ …https://twitter.com/random_walker/status/948408704596168704 …

@lopp

Brace yourselves; Crypto Fool's Day is coming. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wGOUuXFucEg …

After reviewing @pamelawjd's Cryptoasset Inheritance Planning guide, I expect that it will become required reading for @CasaHODL employees and clients. https://www.amazon.com/Cryptoasset-Inheritance-Planning-Simple-Owners/dp/1947910116/ …

"If you don't run a fully validating node, you're a second class Bitcoin citizen. If you don't hold your own private keys, you're a third class Bitcoin citizen." - @TraceMayer

High time preference crypto noobs right now:pic.twitter.com/A0S9av6mac

I weighed in on current events at @CrushTheStreet in which we discussed ICOs, crypto ad bans, privacy, AI, and @CasaHODL . https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YPAHzcuQauA …

@prestonjbyrne

Eat your heart out, Paul Wolfowitz https://twitter.com/dcexaminer/status/979776791660433413 …

"but omg what happens if the state loses a bunch" Well then maybe the state shouldn't have brought the cases to begin with. In the absence of procedural protections like the 4th, 5th or 6th amendments, this might be a good way to impose costs for natural rights violations.

"but, omg, then people will have to pay fees if they're in the court system" Yes. That is the point. But rather than asking the taxpayer to pay for proceedings right and left, we should use incentives like "acquittal = fees+ punitive damages" to disincentivise shaky prosecutions

As I wrote five years ago, the issue isn't that there isn't enough government funding, but that there's too much. Government sets the fees and provides a free service, rather than lawyers setting fees and defendants bearing the costs of their own defence. https://bit.ly/2GqpsJ8 pic.twitter.com/8UK9HgNVak

Self-employed lawyers going on strike? h/t @eamonnbutler https://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/2018/03/30/barristers-go-strike-protest-collapsing-criminal-justice-system/ …

@rogerkver

#BTC a year ago 300k txs, now 170k #LTC a year ago 2k txs, now 40k #ETH a year ago 50k txs, now 750k #ETC a year ago 20k txs, now 100k #BCH a year ago 0 txs, now 20k BTC dominance a year ago 90%, now 45%... A substitute good is one good that can be used instead of another....pic.twitter.com/tWuPw3r0XB

Don't like fast, easy, safe, cheap, and reliable transactions? Don't use #BitcoinCash. For everyone else there's now @blockchain, @coinbase, @BitPay, @BitcoinCom, @CoinText, and so many more!pic.twitter.com/1MiWwimAFf

Be your own leader.

Too many people don’t understand that: GUN CONTROL IS GUN VIOLENCEpic.twitter.com/rIrEKkSCHr

Software developers far too often underestimate the importance of business developers.

@starkness

Just released the first beta of LightningTip! I created it to make it easy to accept tips via the Lightning Network on my website. It uses LND as backend to create invoices and monitor which of them were paid. Source code: https://github.com/michael1011/lightningtip …pic.twitter.com/wIMb4a5SsJ

Tonight: @lightning Labs CTO @roasbeef to speak @SFBitcoinDevs about lnd 0.4, the beta release for the live bitcoin network! https://www.meetup.com/SF-Bitcoin-Devs/events/248815578/ …

Meet @starkness. The Lightning Queen. She'll stitch a global payment network on a shoestring budget. One of few people who can follow a rosabeef conversation in realtime. 15/10pic.twitter.com/Yvt8qRPbgN

The Times 21/Mar/2018 Bitcoin will the become world's single currency, tech chief says. https://twitter.com/Beautyon_/status/976511842926432256 …

Yes

@twobitidiot

$2bn for a token that doesn’t yet exist shows you how much pent up demand there is once custody is solved for in bitcoin. https://twitter.com/zerohedge/status/979829408570671104 …

I understand not owning bitcoin, but how on earth could you *short* it right now given its history and tailwinds. https://twitter.com/cz_binance/status/979901520832487425 …

Satoshis, the true token of LN.™

Closing credits of a movie with “Chain of Fools” playing and a reel of all the crypto frauds getting walked out of courtrooms and their mugshots

SEC announces intent to award a sole source contract to CipherTrace to trace individual cryptocurrency wallets, addresses and smart contracts. The US Department of Homeland Security is listed as a party to the MOU as well.pic.twitter.com/lnFoLgVnMP

Bitcoin Magazine

Bitcoin Magazine’s Week in Review: South Korea Rises, Cryptocurrencies Falter

Hong Kong Exchange OKEx Rolls Back Futures Transactions

Intel Releases Patent for New Cryptocurrency Mining Accelerator

Cryptocurrency Exchange Bittrex Introduces Stable Tether-to-TrueUSD Pairing

Op Ed: France’s Emerging Cryptocurrency Policy Appears Optimistically Vague

Bitcoin Price

Telegram raises $850 million in second ICO round; Ethereum falls below $400

Cryptocurrency market bloodbath continues; Bitcoin Cash topples hard and fast – March 29

Litecoin dips hard for the first time since February – March 28

Ethereum falls to new 2018 low as markets tumble; Australia seeks public input on cryptocurrency taxation – Mar 27

Cryptocurrency market declines slightly; Monero devs say no to ASIC mining – March 26

Bitcoin Reddit

Hand made Bitcoin Quilt 100% Cotton. Truly one of a kind.

At Last: Halong Mining is NOT a Scam – nopara73 – Medium

Bitcoin Adoption is Real... Bitcoin signs and vendors are now everywhere!

MRW I buy all the BTC dips and finally catch a bottom

It's official. I'm a "Bitcoin Millionaire"

Bitcoin.com

Report Details Surge in Crypto Mining on College Campuses

Cambodia’s Crypto Industry Marches Forward Despite Legal Grey Area

New ESMA Measures Impose 2:1 Restriction on Leverage for Crypto CFDs

Kazakhstan Preparing to Prohibit Crypto Trading and Mining, Says Central Bank

Russians Owe 13% Tax on Their Crypto Incomes

Brave New Coin

New York law firm launches crypto litigation tracker

Towards a practice of token engineering

Blockchain as life: Incentivizing humans with machines

How blockchain can revolutionize the HR and recruitment industries

ICOs so hot right now and Morgan Creek hedge fund goes crypto

CCN

Bitcoin Records 7% Increase as Cryptocurrency Market Rebounds From Yesterday’s Losses

Bitcoin Futures the Beginning of a New Derivatives Class: Wedbush Securities Director

Slump Begone: What’s Next For Cryptocurrencies? Tokens & Purpose

Opinion: Bitcoin’s Biggest Problem Isn’t Child Porn, It’s GDPR

Nigeria’s Central Bank Warns Against Cryptocurrency Investments, Again

Coin Journal

Safeguard Eyes US$12M ICO For AI System And Blockchain-Based Safety Data Marketplace

Havas Group Launches Havas Blockchain

Can Minds Capitalize on Facebook’s Failures ?

Two More Japanese Cryptocurrency Exchanges to Shut Down as Regulations Tighten

London Block Exchange Adds Ripple, More Coins to Follow

Coin Telegraph

Thai Finance Ministry Releases Final Version Of Cryptocurrency Tax Framework

Major Russian Bank Looks To Pilot Crypto Transactions In Switzerland

FBI Publishes PSA About Tech Support Fraud Targeting Cryptocurrency Holders

Japan: Operator Of GMO Exchange Promises To Improve Data Security After Regulator Order

Crypto Markets Experience Slight Uptick After Week Of Lows

CoinSpectator Blog

How Zerocoin is Set to Solve the “House Always Wins” Problem?

You can now pay with crypto in over 6,000 South Korean Shops

Gibraltar leads on ICO regulation

How Blockchain can Solve Problems for Online Gambling Sites?

Blockchain-based Container Shipping Platform 300cubits to start the TEU ICO on 12th April 2018

Coindesk

IBM Evolution: Big Blue Is Finally Getting Serious About Cryptocurrency

Everything You Were Afraid to Ask About Crypto Taxes

Report: Kazakhstan's Central Bank Wants to Ban Cryptocurrencies

Chile's State-Owned Bank Cutting Ties with Crypto Exchanges

AirAsia Planning Cryptocurrency-Based Rewards Program

Crypto Currency Reddit

Thank you @BMWStartups for the clarification! The future is very bright between @vechainofficial and BMW! We are thrilled we get to show it off soon! #GoVeChain

Hand made crypto quilt. Truly one of a kind.

Introducing Audio White Papers! Human Read White Papers. We Started With Bitcoin, Ethereum, Ripple and NEO. Please Enjoy Part 1/4 Of Ethereum!

Bitcoin - You Are Here

Genesis Vision releases alpha platform, can they stay with expectations?

NewsBTC

The Time to Stop Worrying About the Bitcoin Price is Right Now

IRS Investigations into Cryptocurrency Holders, a Positive Sign

China May Follow Global Cryptocurrency Regulations, Central Bank Report Suggests

ZeroEdge.Bet Casino Launched Its Pre-ICO Round 2 and Offers 58% Bonus for a Very Limited Time!

A Lower Bitcoin Transaction Volume is a Sign of Maturity

Reddit Cryptocurrency

Thank you @BMWStartups for the clarification! The future is very bright between @vechainofficial and BMW! We are thrilled we get to show it off soon! #GoVeChain

Hand made crypto quilt. Truly one of a kind.

Introducing Audio White Papers! Human Read White Papers. We Started With Bitcoin, Ethereum, Ripple and NEO. Please Enjoy Part 1/4 Of Ethereum!

Bitcoin - You Are Here

Genesis Vision releases alpha platform, can they stay with expectations?

[fxcelessqueen]

What is your headcanon voice for the queen?

Actress Tilda Swinton! Not only because of her specific accent, but also just the way she talks. She’s very animated, lively, and quirky. She’s also just the right amount of posh and proper combined with an undertone of meaning business and having authority. Like she could kick your ass but also be entirely polite while doing it, haha. Channe definitely has the deep undertones in her voice just like her as well.

The example I usually use is this video here, because it’s kindof just her talking about something. The video itself isn’t important, it’s her talking about that she’s endorsing some kindof car fashin line and how she got involved in designing it, but it’s good for just hearing a long example of how she speaks.

So yep, Channe has Tilda Swinton’s voice in my head. She has for eleven years now, haha. I suspect it has something to do with the fact that I created Channe in 2006, and in 2005, Tilda Swinton starred in The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe. Since she’s one of my favorite actresses and Jadis was one of the inspirations (albeit a more minor one… Channe’s not that evil… or at all heh) that played into my creating Channe very early on, I suspect that this was a purely subconscious thing that kindof just happened and it stuck. I’m not sorry it did, though, I like Channe’s voice this way. XD