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imaginesmai · 11 months

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Right around the corner - Azriel (5)

AHHHHH this is the final part and let me tell you I'm SAD. It was so hard to write the ending you all deserve after all this love, so I tried my best. Let me know what you think! Also, you deserve A LOT, so I made it long hehehe. Don't worry, a request about the RATH universe is coming soon! If you want one too, drop it in my inbox!

(1), (2), (3), (4)

Plot: The story of how Azriel fixed what was broken, and how you forgave him.

Warnings: this is sad, but has a happy ending! Also, mental health issues.

No one expected the sidra to froze that year, and against everyone expectation, one day Velaris had woken up to see the riven covered by a silver layer. Children had missed school to skate in the solid surface, parents watching carefully from the edge. Some couples were skating too, holding hands and giggling endlessly.

You had been watching the new scene unfold all morning. And while you usually loved snow and ice as much as any child in town, you were starting to get a little sick of all the noise.

It wasn’t your new employee situation, who had been staring at the river all morning. She had already finished her duties, but always the polite and nice girl, Elain Archeron was keeping you company.

When you spotted for the third time the familiar red-head through the glass and she didn’t say anything, just sighed, you decided you had enough.

“You should tell him to get in before he freezes to death” you commented, still busy with measuring the ingredients.

“Oh, no” Elain blushed and looked away from the window. “No. He’s just… He can wait”

“He can, but doesn’t have to. You and Lucien should head out, rent ice skates and have a fun day. You already finished here” you smiled kindly at her, and before she could reply, you added. ��I’m fine, I don’t even like cold weather. And I still need to finish this, which you can’t help me with. So, go”

Elain stared at you with uncertainty, and you tried to look as convinced as possible. Would you have liked her to stay? After all, she was one of the few people you socialized with these days. She had turned in when you opened the bakery again, right after you posted the sign about looking for a new partner.

And even if you had had your doubts when you discovered she was Feyre’s sister and Azriel’s friend, you considered her your own friend.

So, yeah, you would have liked her to stay. Because you were still awfully sad all the time, and her company was one of the few things that made your day better. But you being sad didn’t excuse her missing a wonderful day with her mate.

“It’s not closing time yet” her eyes danced between the glass and you. “He was supposed to wait for me at the house”

“Guess he’s too eager to see you. He’s been dancing around the bakery for a good hour” you chuckled. “Elain, I mean it. Go. Have fun. I’ll see you on Monday”

“Y/N, I promise I don’t mind waiting. It’s not like it will unfreeze”

“And I promise I don’t mind at all. So, go, have fun and tell me about it on Monday” you gripped her hand softly over the counter, nodding to the waiting mal outside. “Come on, go”

Lucien was once more outside the bakery, the only visible part of him his red hair. He was covered in thick layers, but still managed to smile when Elain kissed your cheek and took her coat on the way out.

You didn’t have it in you to watch them be affectionate with each other, so you looked down at your task and decided it would be the last of the day.

It was hard watching all those couples walking hand in hand and remembering the feel of his warm, scarred hand in yours. To hear a man laughing and remember the unexpected laughs you dragged out of him sometimes. Even looking at the river was painful, because you could almost see the ghost of Azriel and you learning how to skate in a frozen lake in the Illyrian mountains a few years ago.

You had seen Azriel around a few times now, walking through your bakery and waving at you through the glass. Two times he had been waiting at the door when it was late at night, silently walking you home from afar without talking. Almost two months had passed by and your feelings were still as messed up as before.

Though you didn’t cry as much as before, and you were starting to get better, you still wondered.

If Azriel getting help would mean your relationship would be fixed, or if it was broken permanently. Deep in your thoughts, and used as you were to Azriel’s shadows, you didn’t notice how they tugged on your apron until the door sounded again.

Elain’s name didn’t leave your lips, because as soon as the door opened, you lost your breath. As if you had summoned him, Azriel walked through the door, beautiful as ever. He wasn’t in his usual training leather, but winter clothes that fit him as a glove. Instantly, you noticed he had lost weight. His shoulders were slumped and his body didn’t carry the usual grace of an Illyrian warrior.

“Hi”

His scarred hands, that had held you so many times and slaughtered so many enemies, were tucked in his coat’s pockets. You could feel the nervousness through the bond, the hesitance. Too stunned to answer, you only stared at him.

You had known that, eventually, he would talk to you. That you would have to do more than just wave at each other through the glass and stay silent when he sent you details through Elain. But still, you hadn’t expected it.

Unable to move, you only blinked.

“I saw Elain and Lucien heading out” he added, not looking away from you. “It’s a nice day outside”

Azriel hadn’t finished before one of his new shadows scaped his control, sneaking around the counter. The familiar ones, that had been by your side since he left, danced around the new intrusion. It lifted your apron, and crawled up your neck.

The cool feeling was the last of your worries, because no matter how much you willed yourself to say something, you couldn’t even tear your eyes from him.

The bond flickered between the two of you, once more. Knowing that it was one-sided, that he didn’t wear it like you did, made break your trance.

“She’s finished for the day” you explained, sounding way more confident that what you felt.

“It’s a nice day, yeah” he repeated, not giving you time to feel awkward before he continued “I thought that maybe you wanted to take a walk with me. It’s cold, but we could… get coffee. Or chocolate, if you want”

Azriel gave you a half, broken smile. Hearing his voice again made you take ten steps backward.

“I have things to do”

You looked down to your current task, which could be easily discarded. You had left much important things half-done because of him, and you would have done it normally without a second thoughts. But no matter how heartful the conversation at your door had been, you just knew you weren’t ready to have a conversation without getting angry.

You knew you weren’t ready to forgive him.

His new shadow gripped your wrist tightly before disappearing, and you heard Azriel’s doubt. He wanted to say something else, and you wanted too. Still, you fell back to your measuring and ignored the way your vision blurred, how your knees became weak again.

Maybe going back to your duties was the only way not to break down again.

The silence continued for a long minute. You couldn’t not feel his presence, the way his scent filled the bakery and made your stomach turn. Your heart recognized what you needed, what you wanted, and threatened to jump out of your chest.

Before you could regret your words, Azriel opened the door again.

“You’re forgetting the yeast” he said, his voice thick with emotion.

When you looked up again, he only smiled. You opened your mouth to tell him to wait, maybe to fuck off and never come again. You didn’t have time, because Azriel closed the door behind him and he was gone.

The first tear fell against the unformed dough, followed by many more. You wouldn’t be finishing the blueberry cake that afternoon, you realized, as you crunched behind the counter and cried.

There was a storm coming, and everyone in Velaris had had the same idea – run to the market, buy everything they needed for a few days, and crowd themselves at home with their loved ones. You were trying to follow the first part of the plan, not having anyone to go home anymore. And if that wasn’t enough reason to drag you down, the crowd was getting intense.

Velaris’ market was a beautiful place, full of shops and nice vendors. But that day, the space felt too small.

You already had a few bags with you, yet there were a few more to go. Wanting to finish as soon as possible, you had ignored the rational part of your brain and had gotten in the middle of the crowd. You had only managed to buy milk and pasta, and still had a long way to go.

After Azriel’s brief appearance, your life had been messier than before. He had come by the bakery at least five times more, always offering you some kind of plan you rejected. Going to the park, for a flight or to a coffee shop. Taking walks, watching the sunset or training together.

You lived now half-prepared to see him walking through your door again, and not having the heart to tell him no. You weren’t sure if that thought frightened or comforted you.

In your haste, you had almost forgotten to buy provisions for the storm, and had found yourself on the worst day to do them. Crowded, loud and suffocating, that was how you would describe the market at that moment.

The fact that most people ran with their children and family wasn’t helpful at all.

Most of the times, it was Azriel who did the last-minute shopping for you. He knew you didn’t like crowds, loud places, that you did best in your bakery where only five people were allowed at a time.

Another shove broke you down from your daydreaming, and you looked back to see a pregnant woman staring with her eyebrows furrowed.

“The line is moving” she spatted, pointing to the small space ahead of you. “If you don’t move with it, you should step out”

“Oh, no” you chuckled softly. You picked up the bags on the ground and took the two small steps that you were supposed to. “Sorry, I just thought I could take a little bit more space. It’s crowded here”

“I don’t mind crowds, so if you want to step back, let me get first. I’m in a hurry”

“Me too” you gave her a polite smile, mindful of her state.

The short distance that separated you from the customer on the front was certainly not enough, and she knew it. Still, she looked at you with disapproval. There were only five more people to go until it was your turn, you could buy your snacks and run to the next stall.

You thought you could ignore the glare at the back of your neck, and you did for a few minutes. Without meaning to, you thought how everything with Azriel was easier. Not only people wouldn’t dare to talk to him like that, but also, he assured you a good meter of distance between you two and the rest of the world with his wings.

The snacks on your hands almost fell when, not even two seconds after the man took three steps forward, you were shoved again.

That time, when you looked back, the woman was accompanied by her mate. His wings covered her from the people behind them.

“You should really step out of the line” she repeated. “You might have all the time in the word, but we are in a hurry”

“Me too. You can’t expect me to be glued to that man” you tried to explain, anxiety coiling in your stomach. “He just moved”

“And you didn’t, which proves my point. Besides, it’s obvious you only have a few things. We have more”

“Which should be enough reason to let me go first, not only because I was here before you” you shrugged, feeling even more uncomfortable when the male huffed a laugh. “Maybe it’s you who shouldn’t have come here today if you can’t wait in a line”

You weren’t a threat for the woman, and you were trying really hard to be polite and prove your point. Besides, being pregnant wasn’t an easy task, and you could tell she was far along. Maybe you should have let her pass, or maybe told her to fuck off.

But before you could argue further, something clicked in the male’s eyes, wide with recognition.

And you would have preferred for him to go full berserk mode on you. Because you recognized that look, you had been receiving them for a while now.

The male elbowed the woman’s side softly, pointing with his chin towards you. You didn’t have time to turn back and avoid the conversation, because he spoke.

“You’re the shadowsinger’s mate” he announced, loud enough to make a few heads turn.

“Oh” the woman finally connected the dots and lunged forward to grab your arm so tight you couldn’t shake her off. “I’m so sorry. I’m sorry, I didn’t recognize you”

“It’s fine. Don’t worry” you pushed your arm back, trying to let go.

While the woman apologized, you couldn’t help but listen to the whispers. The same ones you had heard in your bakery and through the streets. Some of them thrown in your face by rude or nosy customers that didn’t understand the concept of privacy, others by bystanders.

At the end, it was the woman who said it out loud, confirming what everyone in the small circle that had formed at the cue was wondering about. She finally let go of your arm and crossed hers in front of her body.

The look of pity wasn’t as bad as the confirmation.

“He rejected you, right?” it wasn’t a question, not when you didn’t answer and she continued. “We heard you’ve been mated for almost a century and he doesn’t want the bond. Is that true?”

It wasn’t true, but you didn’t have the heart to correct her. Instead, you turned around and used your wing-less privileges to sneak through the crowd. You kept your head down, as if that could stop you from hearing the comments or feeling the stares.

People had come up with an alternative version where Azriel and you had been mated for decades, for centuries. Where you had cheated on him or he had changed you for someone else. You had even heard that he had bonded with another person and had kicked you out of the house, and that you had been the one rejecting the bond.

Each version was farthest from the truth than the last one, but they all hurt the same. The crowd didn’t seem to get thinner no matter how deep you got in the market. Once the people who had heard the conversation were left behind, new people crowded you, worried about the girl panicking and running through the middle of the market.

There were a few occasions where you thought you would fall, where you tripped and almost embarrassed yourself farther. You had almost made it to the back entrance of the market when you finally realized you were tripping no more. There was no longer a crowd around you, nor whispers or hands reaching your way.

It took you another few steps to fully stop and assess the situation. When you looked back to see where the crowd was, you were met with a broad chest inches away from you. Through tearful eyes, you recognized Azriel’s wings tucking you away from people, his mere presence pushing them away.

You met his hazel eyes, full of worry and regret. His hair was longer, covering his brow, but you found comfort in his crooked nose, in his freckles, that you knew so well.

You noticed in his hands your bags that had been left in the stall, a new one with the snacks you were about to buy.

“What – what are you doing here?” you choked out, too grateful for the sudden moment of peace to wonder about anything else.

“I felt you through the bond, a few hours ago. Anxious and…” he stopped himself, his eyes scanning every tear that marked your cheeks. “I was just getting here when it got worse. I heard most of it. I’m –”

“Don’t say you’re sorry” you interrupted him. “It’s not your fault”

Out of the many things that were indeed his fault, people not minding their own business wasn’t his. You were used to him blaming himself for everything, from wars in other courts to people fighting in the street. The response came naturally.

Your nose was cold and runny, your hands frozen in your pockets, and your feet hurt. Besides all of that, you felt all wrong. Because you enjoyed his presence, because what they said, and because you couldn’t help but calm down when he was close.

Azriel didn’t say anything when you took the bags from his hands, thanking him quietly. He didn’t say anything as more people walked away from him, either because of his wings or because they recognized him.

“You don’t like last minute shopping”

It was a pointless observation, but it was better than to comment on how afraid he had been when, just outside the market, he felt the bond snap with urgence. His shadows knew where you were, and that you needed him, but even he had trouble running through crowds. Azriel also couldn’t talk about how mad he had been at everyone in that stall, how his new shadows had turned off every light and almost chocked them to death.

Azriel wanted to say that you were probably cold because you didn’t like your own coats, and most of the times wore one of his. He wanted to hug you, too, to feel you between his arms after what felt like an eternity and promise you that it would end well.

But he couldn’t say anything more than the obvious.

“I had to” you answered.

With a furious fist, frustrated at life, at him and at you, you brushed the tears off your cheeks. You could tell that he wanted to keep talking, and you did too. Since your last encounter, you had come up with more conversations you should have.

You stared at each other for what seemed forever. There were details that you had almost forgotten in your sorrow – like his long lashes, that you teased him about. Or the freckle that snuck up to the corner of his left eye. The way his mouth rose higher from the right, and the small scar on his ear from where Cassian dared him to wear an earring.

Only his face was enchanting enough to help you forget about the day, about the weight of your chest. It was the first closing call from the market, that sounded through the public speakers, that broke you away.

“I should go”

You talked at the same time, and you smiled softly when you pointed to different directions. You didn’t miss how his eyes fell to your mouth, how his own lifted up too.

“I could walk you back” he offered, not tearing his eyes away from your mouth. “If you let me”

You didn’t answer immediately. Those last words, that he had repeated so often lately, almost had you saying yes. You could almost imagine how it would go – him walking by your side, one of his wings behind your back. His elbow brushing yours, and his gaze fixed on you.

Your smile dropped when you remembered the times you had walked just like that, tucked together. The times you had waked by yourself through Velaris with his imprint on you, and the times he had left without a trace of your presence.

Azriel knew the answer before you said it, and his shoulders dropped slightly.

“Sorry”

That time, you decided to turn away before he could. Taking the back exit was a poor choice, knowing it was farther from your house than the main one, but you couldn’t picture yourself walking through the market without Azriel keeping the crowds a step away.

So you turned around, gripped your bags tight and didn’t tear your eyes from the ground during the whole way back.

It wasn’t Azriel who found you the time everything changed, but you.

The cold and winter were over, the streets were clean and the sun was out. It was a perfect day to spend outside, and Elain seemed fixed in throwing you out of your own shop. She claimed that the bags under your eyes were as dark as the night, and that your skin was so pale that she couldn’t tell the flour stains apart from it.

“Just for the record, you’re kicking the owner of the bakery out of the bakery” you stated, looking at her once more from the door. “You do realize that shouldn’t happen, right?”

“I’m helping a friend come out of her ghost-like season” she replied, still decorating muffins. “And you do realize that most shops close on Sunday’s, right?”

“Certainly not a bakery” you looked to the empty fountain at her right. “If we do it together, we will – “

“If you touch one single item of this bakery, I’m banning you from the kitchen for a month”

You doubted she meant it, she could. But still, you sighed and turned around to open the door. You weren’t an extrovert, certainly not an outsider. Since you were a child, you liked your kitchen, your house, and your space. And none of those things were outside the door.

But you actually feared what the fae you left behind would do if you turned back. Elain had already hidden your apron so you couldn’t put it on, and had threatened to mismatch the soy milk with normal one.

Giving her a last, tight smile through the glass, you walked towards the center of Velaris.

Not many people were outside that soon on a Sunday morning, but you were glad for her insistence the moment the sun kissed your face. The cold weather was disappearing and you could feel warmth across your cheeks. It was still cold, and it would be for at least another week, but the change in the weather promised a happy spring.

You walked aimlessly around Velaris, stopping to watch the Sidra move every now and then. Your feet carried you through unfamiliar streets, all of them filled with colors and smells. The longer you walked, the healthier you felt. Each step felt like a weight lifted from your chest, and you even smiled to a few usuals you found in the streets.

The main square peeked through the streets. It wasn’t your usual destination, too crowded and not as pretty as other parts of the town. But you still walked through it, feeling at ease and happy.

It had happened before, usually the days before you started your cycle, and you should have known the feeling of ease had nothing to do with the weather or the walk. It had happened and it happened again, just as you rounded a corner to walk in the square.

If, by any chance, Azriel hadn’t noticed you coming, the shadows that tugged him away from where he was standing would have made it obvious.

His eyes widened when he saw you, and you felt that peaceful feeling making its home for the day. There was no sorrow, no sadness, and none of the usual feelings that lately you felt when it came to him.

You cursed yourself stupid when you realized that you cycle was coming, and that every year you were in a mood until Azriel showed up, your hormones demanding your mate.

“Y/N”

Your name fell from your mouth and just by hearing it you noticed something different. It was new, and at the same time, you thought you recognized it somehow. You looked to his empty hands, to the syphons on his shoulders and chest and truth-teller on his side.

It looked like you had interrupted something important to him. But instead of running away from him like the last two times, you took a step closer.

“Are you going on a mission?” you pointed with your chin to his leather, eyes stopping at his chest. There was that thing, that you couldn’t name.

“Just came back. I was…”

Azriel looked to the building he just exited and for a moment, in silence. You had met a bunch of times since the incident in the market, and you had started having longer conversations. About the weather, about your bakery, and even about his family, who you finally knew officially.

Certainly, your relationship had improved, although it wasn’t just fixed yet. When he didn’t answer, you were reminded of all the times he had kept things to himself, either out of fear or doubt.

He seemed to doubt between telling you and keeping it to himself. Any other time, you knew, he would have kept it to himself. He had done it, in the past – when you asked him about his job, or tried to understand his past. Many times where he had evaded the truth or his emotions.

Your mood, that had been in a rush since you left the bakery, fell a little at his silence. He looked torn and you were ready to leave, before he answered.

“This is Madja’s house. I meet her here so we can talk, usually during the week” he looked back at you, watching the surprise of his statement. “But something happened and I needed to talk to her”

“What happened?”

Azriel’s lips were pressed tight, debating on whether he should tell you or not. He wouldn’t have doubted about it a year ago – he wouldn’t tell you, because in his eyes, it would only hurt you more than he already had. But he had learnt new things, and had realized that a relationship was built on trust. And that his fears, his perception of the reality, had broken yours.

He had cut the mission short when he had noticed, though he wasn’t sure he had ever done something like that. Azriel didn’t know what had triggered it, why it happened in the Winter court and not anytime sooner.

Madja, of course, had had an answer ready – an answer that had left him staring at her door for long twenty minutes before you appeared.

“Kallias should have sent something to Rhysand, but he didn’t” he started, not sure why he was traveling so far from the event. “So I went to check. Turns out someone must have taken it and, well, I tried to…”

He trailed off before he could finish, aware of your confusion. You never talked about what he did for Rhysand, in any court. No matter how big or small was the assignment, he didn’t tell you about it.

But that wasn’t what your confusion was about, at least not all of it. You couldn’t possibly notice because you had given it for granted since the beginning, but Azriel did notice. He noticed the change as soon as it happened, and babbled when he explained to Rhysand what he should have been feeling for years.

Had explained to Madja moments ago, who had given him a knowing smile and a proud nod.

“I accepted the bond” he confessed, continuing before you could say anything else. “I don’t know how, or why, but I was there and suddenly I was hit with – with this in my chest, and I don’t know why it wouldn’t happen sooner”

“You accepted the bond” you repeated, looking between his chest and face.

“I don’t know how, or why now. I was, thinking… And it hit me” Azriel smiled sadly, not saying what his thoughts were about – what they had been about since that night. “I didn’t want to tell you, because, this is, you don’t have to do anything now. Me accepting the bond doesn’t change what I did”

Azriel hadn’t meant to tell you, neither to be so vague and ridiculously nervous about it.

It had been a surprise when, in the middle of a conversation, he felt it. He had been thinking about you, because there were flowers and they were pretty against the cold weather, and to him, you were the prettiest thing the Cauldron had made. One moment Kallias had been going through the last movements of the package and the next the high lord was looking at him with raised brows.

Congratulating him for something that should have happened six years ago.

“It’s not that I didn’t want the bond before, Y/N” he continued when you didn’t say anything. “I promise you, I didn’t know how to accept it. I didn’t know that I deserved it”

Azriel had thought, and he still wanted to, that you so pretty that you were meant for someone else. That it was borrowed time, that he didn’t deserve the bond just as he didn’t deserve you. With Madja and Rhys, they had had deep conversations about his mental health, about his version of life where he lived through a glass of pain and rejection.

As he stared at your surprised form, he tried not to let hope leak into his heart. He knew it didn’t fix what was broken, but he hoped it was the first step of a long recovery to win you back.

Only if you could confirm or deny, instead of stare at him.

“Say something” Azriel finally broke, almost begged. “Whatever you want. Just say something”

And you wanted to, because wasn’t that what you had wanted? You had fooled yourself lately thinking about may what ifs. What if he had accepted the bond in the bagging, what if he had told you that he wasn’t fine, that he was broken and needed help.

What if you had helped him and not rushed things when he wasn’t ready. Now, it felt like the Cauldron was giving you that opportunity, only that you didn’t know how to react.

You finally looked away from him and decided to give an experimental tug on the bond, to see if anything had changed.

It had.

“Az”

It was a chuckle, maybe the beginning of a cry. It was anger but also relief because what came back from that tug wasn’t what you usually felt. It was stronger, solid, as if there was a physical string between your bodies that kept you linked.

Usually, it was just an intense feeling that was enough for you. But now that you felt him tugging back, felt him loving you, you couldn’t hold back another laugh. He shoved down through it everything he felt – adoration, love, joy. Many fears that had you stumbling towards him, and pain.

So much pain that your smile dropped. His dropped too, and you felt the bond getting fainter.

“That’s another reason. I didn’t want you to feel… that” Azriel retreated the bond farther. “I have so many fears and pains here that I couldn’t even imagine sharing them with you. And that – “

“You don’t have to feel ashamed” you cut him off, your voice hoarse. “I love you the same”

Words were unnecessary when you hugged his middle and buried yourself in his chest. He curled around you, like he had done so many times.

The channel snapped open again, and you just closed your eyes tightly. It was an endless source of emotions, and it broke you that most of them were bad. There was rejection, from so many people that it felt like an angry, black bull coming your way. Sadness that felt overwhelming and never ending, always coming in waves when Azriel didn’t expect it.

You also felt disgust, and you only held him tighter when you discovered it was self-disgust. Not only at the things that he had done, but also at what had been done to him. The scars on his hands, the shadows around him. He had hated himself for so long he had forgotten how to love.

But then, at the bottom, there was something bright, and that part you realized it was only dedicated to you. There was his family too, but it wasn’t as intense as his love for you. Everything that he lacked during his life, that he yearned for, was tucked where it mattered the most.

“I love you” he whispered against your head, softly. “I love you”

You didn’t answer, just raised your head until you could brush your lips against him. Later, you would have time to blame the cycle, which you wouldn’t get for another two months, or the emotions of the moment. But you knew it was just what you needed, what you both deserved, when you felt him kissing back.

At the beginning, it was just his lips against yours, and it was enough. Your noses brushed each other, you got on your tiptoes and his wing cocooned both of you. His hands only pressed you tighter against his body when you moved your lips against his, brushing the edge of your tongue against his bottom one.

Azriel could barely keep himself straight when you silently asked for permission to open his mouth, which he happily obliged.

From that moment, it was crashing. The kiss was only a physical proof of your feelings traveling through the mated bond, so wild and intense you couldn’t tell which one was his or yours.

“I’m sorry, darling” he whispered against your lips, giving you no time to reply. “I’m sorry for hurting you, for being a coward. I’m sorry”

“I forgive you. We don’t keep secrets anymore” you managed to say between kisses.

“Never” Azriel answered while leaving kisses on your cheeks and nose.”

“And we’ll talk about our emotions, and feelings. You’ll tell me about your life when I ask”

“Always”

“You won’t close off to me” you pulled his head away and made him look at you.

While you held his face between your hands, Azriel smiled. It was a different smile from the previous ones, from the ones you had seen so far. It was carefree, loving, and yours.

Your thumb brushed the corner of his eye, his upper cheek, the border of his nose.

“I’m here, Azriel. Always. So you don’t have to hide anything from me, or to be ashamed or afraid. I’m here” you closed the distance once more, controlling the kiss by holding onto his face. “Right around the corner”

“Right around the corner” he repeated, dipping his head and sealing all his promises with another kiss.

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@lesliemurillo @impossibelle @polli05927 @florencemtrash @going-through-shit @minakay @setayeshmohseni @torchbearerkyle @esposadomd @amysangel @kennedy-brooke @originalcrusadetrash @luvmoo @historygeekqueen @marriedtolike18fictionalmen @wallacewillow0773638 @tothestarsandwhateverend @kristalhi @knmendiola @nikt-wazny-y @dream-alittlebiggerdarling @wallacewillow0773638 @clara-geekhime @kalulakunundrum @saltedcoffeescotch @originalcrusadetrash @mel-wcst @ailyr92 @bubybubsters @chickensrock3 @tothestarsandwhateverend @topaz125 @wallacewillow0773638 @just-m-2 @theravenphoenix26 @glitterypirateduck @a-frog-with-a-laptop @justdreamstars

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hazelfoureyes · 6 months

Text

The Safeword is RadioApple (part 4)

Part 1 ꒰აMaleReader✧FemaleReader໒꒱ Part 2 ꒰აFemaleReader໒꒱ Part 3 ꒰აAlastorxLucifer໒꒱ tidbit (cute, not smut) Part 4 ꒰აFemaleReader໒꒱✨NEW✨ ₊⊹⁀➴ Lucifer wins⟡Alastor Wins

Happy SunSinday! I really hope you like this. Thank you to @sugoi-writes for treating me to the coffee that helped me power through this. I’ll need like, atleast half a day of no writing to recover the mental exhaustion 😂 I’ll be back Monday to catch-up on all the comments and inbox from the last 2 days!

Lucifer lets fate decide how he and Alastor will show their dear kitten their teamwork skills.

「warnings/promises apply to both routes: RadioApple x FemReader, threesome, Lucifer x Alastor anal, p in v, soft breeding kink, Luci calls himself Daddy, biting, choose your own adventure, heaven ain’t got shit on Luci, fingering, tentacle fucking, cuddling, creampies, cum fucking, lots of deer references partially because of @n-after-me’s latest fic, sweet words, Happy Luci」

Deer Duck Kitten

Finally. You finally had both men in a place where you could enjoy each other as a group, instead of just you getting fucked by two people at the same time.

You had half recovered from your hangover by early afternoon, but the little slip you made earlier in the day was just causing a new headache to emerge.

When the men both questioned what exactly you had meant, you decided the best option was to take your own advice and shut the fuck up. So shut the fuck up you did, for a solid three hours, while lying in your bed face down.

New problem now. Perfect. 10/10, you suck.

Alastor and Luci were huddled in a corner of the lobby, two arm chairs pulled together and facing away from the others.

To Alastor, you had said something unspoken until then. The only difference that he could see was his …embracing of Lucifer’s inclusion in your relationship.

Lucifer was partially blind, the stars orbiting his head shining too brightly for him to see or think properly.

“Was that normal?” Lucifer asked.

“Not for us, no.”

Lucifer, unblinking, “It’s too soon for sure for us.”

Alastor’s static aura flickered, “Obviously.” Lucifer glared.

“She’s obviously happy we got along so…well?”

Alastor nodded.

“So let’s show her our teamwork in action! Let’s take care of her. Together.” He winked, making Alastor grimace.

“Take care of her how? Because she’s sick?” You were still hungover.

“No… take care of her.” Lucifer’s brows rose up and down, saying the words a little louder.

The air around Alastor snapped, a crackle of static returning, “I’m not deaf, I just don’t understand what secret meaning you’re hinting at.”

The normally patient and polite king’s face scrunched before he grabbed Alastor by the lapels and pulled him close, seething, “Take care of her. In bed. Sex. Fuck her.”

Alastor scowled, dark gums peaking past his lips, “We do that nearly nightly in some fashion, your majesty.”

Nose pressed to nose, forehead to forehead, “I am going to fucking kill you.”

While what they were saying wasn’t audible, Angel was adding his own narration to the video he was taking, “I’m gonna fuck you, Radio Demon.” He attempted a regal voice. “Not if I fuck you first! ha ha ha,” His best shot at a trans-Atlantic accent.

“You’re insufferable. Just speak plainly!”

Lucifer opened his mouth to reply but instead of words, a choked noise as he turned his face away. A deep blush now rising up his neck to his cheeks. A flash of a memory of Alastor’s dark eyes looking down at him over his wet body, stomach bulging with every thrust. Could he really say it out loud?

“Oh.” Alastor sat back in his chair, “She and I haven’t…” he searched for a delicate word, “Explored other avenues.”

Now who wasn’t speaking plainly?

“Well we could rearrange the order a little.” Lucifer sandwiched his hands together in hopes he could keep the details unspoken.

Alastor hummed, “Who would be in the middle, so to speak, if not my-”

“Our.” Lucifer cut him off.

A sinister snarl of a grin, “-dear.”

Lucifer put out a fist, “Did you know rock paper scissors or are you too old timey for that?”

“Loser has to hold open their gaping hole and-,” Angel jumped and nearly dropped his phone when Charlie bounced up beside him.

“Awww Dad and Al are playing games together!”

He snickered, tears forming in his eyes, “Yeah like tugga war and hide the pickle.”

“I think it’s called tug-of-war, Angel.”

Angel patted her on the head and turned to flee, “Good catch, princess. Nothin’ gets by you.”

They couldn’t decide who would knock, so both did. You weren’t ready for the conversation yet, having to explain it was just an expression and not intended to be a declaration. You and Alastor used many other words instead; my beloved, I adore you, my love. You had found comfort in the steadiness of his adoration, never a fear he would leave so you never worried much at the lack of direct ‘I love you’.

But …. Luci. You could see in his face how desperately he needed to be overshadowed with someone’s love. To be the one to eclipse all of his insecurities with a warm blanket of consistent affection? You’d die again for the opportunity. Just—- not yet. Certain words are meaningless without action. And you hadn’t done much more than cuddle and have sex. You needed to show him your love before you said anything about it.

Another set of knocks. You whined, they didn’t deny you anything so how could you deny them? “What?”

“Kitten?” mixed with “Dear.” from outside the door.

You called them in, not watching as Luci beelined for the bed and Alastor closed and locked the door as quietly as possible to not bother you.

“Does your head still hurt?” Lucifer slid up to your right side. You opened your eyes, turning your head to him.

“No.”

He smiled. You felt the bed dip, Alastor settling to your left.

“Are you feeling otherwise unwell?” Alastor asked. Rolling off your stomach to turn fully to Alastor now, surprised at the gentle conversation. You had anticipated an interrogation.

“I’m fine now. Just don’t feel like moving much so… bed.” Luci’s hands slipped over your waist as he cuddled into your backside. You couldn’t help the smile you made. Alastor kissed your forehead, and your smile grew. Much more tender of an interaction than usual. Normal events involved you passed between the two, them taking turns with your attention when not actively having sex.

You were the little buffer between them. It always felt like they were trying to enjoy you without needing to realize the other demon existed in the room at all.

Alastor made a show of taking his hand and sliding his fingers into Lucifer’s, resting on your waist.

Manually breathing, you tried to keep your face neutral to not scare away the moment.

Luci propped himself up and leaned over you. When Alastor leaned too, receiving a kiss from Luci on the lips you rolled onto your back. You’d never seen the Eiffel Tower from underneath but as you stared directly up as Lucifer kissed Alastor again, and again, you could imagine what it must be like to be under such a grand display. This was the first time you’d seen them intentionally touch each other… other than attempted murder.

Did Lucifer win rock paper scissors? Cum here

Did Alastor win rock paper scissors? Smash this

༻Masterlist༺

∰ Summoning the Horny Little Deer Cult (general tag list):

@cxrsedwxrlds , @nonetheartist , @tsunaki , @janchei , @wettiny-in-smutland , @moonmark98 , @hoebihoeshi , @pansexual-opera-house , @polytheatrix , @lorddiabigmommymilkers , @backinthefkingbuildingagain , @harley2223-blog , @coffee-colored-hopeless-romantic , @poinappel , @midnightnoiserose , @spookieroz , @missmidorima , @ivebeenthearchersstuff , @downbadforfictionalppl , @xx-all-purpose-nerd-xx , @sleepylittledemon , @aether-th3-enby , @dontfuckbutimfab , @breathlessaura , @aperfectidiot , @certainlygay , @jth12 , @star-kujo-platinum ,

@ivebeenthearchersstuffn, @rubyninja1 , @simphornies , @alleystore , @readergirlstuff , @berry-demon , @chirimeimei , @fairyv-ice , @olive-frog , @thonethatflies620 , @tiredkiwiii , @ilikemyteawithmilk , @whateverlololo , @psipies , @howabouticallyou , @roxxie-wolf , @ive-no-idea-what-to-call-this , @fizzled-phoenix , @fjorjestertealeaf , @phobophobular , @surusurusuru , @mariaclarade-la-cruz1 , @whateverlololo , @simplyonehellofanotaku , @xixflower , @i-am-nonbinary-bean-deal-with-it , @roxxie-wolf , @a-case-of-attachment , @multifandomfanatic02 , @watereddownmilk , @raynerrold , @crazii-saber-wolf , @valkyrie-expeditions , @bontensbabygirl , @sillyb0nez , @oo0lady-mad0oo , @jazzmasternot , @pseudobun , @fraugwinska✨, @alitaar , @straows , @alastorssimp , @angelicwillows , @b-o-n-e-daddy , @one-and-only-tay , @slutforlucifermorningstar , @sarlaccussy , @saccharine-nectarine , @looking1016 ,@sapphirecaelis , @itzzzkiramylove , @ultimate-duck-king-lucifer , @blakeaha

🏹Alastor stalkers: @celestial-vomit , @amurtan ,@valkyrie-expeditions

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jiwoneiric · 7 months

Text

give me your forever

the world is against you, except one.

pairing: non-idol!pham hanni x bestfriend!reader

genre: hurt comfort

tags: y/n got her heart broken, pham hanni isn't having any of it, y/n is ofc a '04 liner, y/n is much taller than hanni.

warning: cursing, self-hatred, injuries, self-doubts

word counts: 1.8k

playlist

you are never going to be enough for anyone.

the last sentence your girlfriend said to you lingers in your mind.

wait, no.

she’s your ex-girlfriend now.

it was the last thing she said to you and the last thing you have heard from anyone since you drowned yourself in the comfort of your bed. you’ve cried a lot. too much to the point you can’t physically cry anymore. it’s like you have run out of tears to let out. your friends have simultaneously come and go to your dormitory room but no one could get over the other side of the wall.

well, at least, not yet.

you know deep inside that you will only allow your best friend to do so but her being MIA for the past few days got you worried, and inevitably hurt.

where did she go? is she sick? or is she just going to abandon you like jinah did?

her absence affects you so much but you don’t have the energy to reach out, adding to the fact that what jinah said to you has affected you significantly.

so, you just wait, albeit the sting on your heart starts to grow into a punch on your heart.

you know your friends are getting worried with the nonstop notifications and ringtones ringing from your phone but you still lay lifelessly on your bed.

it is not that you like jinah that much but the way she took your heart and stomped on that poor thing two days ago hurt you a little bit too much. you hated how you remember vividly the way she slipped out all those words about you being undeserving of being loved, about you being so egoistic that no one would dare to look your way again.

and it is all because of the dare she took from her best friend, who turned out to be one of the suitors you have rejected in the past.

was your rejection too harsh? you don’t think so. you rejected her politely, saying how she is a good person but you are not interested in having a romantic relationship with her. so, why was jinah’s best friend so mad?

or was it jinah who was mad all along?

you don’t know and thinking about the possibilities hurts your head so bad so you shrug it off.

and a soft knock on your door pulls your attention.

“choi y/n?”

the long-awaited voice has finally arrived. you smile bitterly before standing up to open the door for her.

“hey—”

you hadn’t finished greeting her when you got engulfed in a tight hug from pham hanni. reciprocating the hug, you freeze when she lets out a wince.

“han?”

“i’m fine, i’m fine.”

not convinced, you break the hug immediately and the sight in front of you causes you to gasp loudly.

hanni has bandages all over her arms. her left cheek is in the shade of dark purple, most probably from a punch or two.

“w-what happened?”

your sorrow is neglected as worries fill your entire system. knowing that han won’t budge, you immediately yet carefully guide her to take a seat on the side of your bed.

“y/n—”

“who did you beat?”

you say sternly, giving hanni zero chance to change the topic.

“or, should i ask, who the hell beaten you up?”

you let out a grunt when all she did was look away, avoiding your questions like the plague. you are not in a good mood so her act irritates you more than it should.

“if you are not going to tell me, just go.”

that sentence was what you needed to make her look your way again. you know you caught her off-guarded with those words, causing her to panic almost instantly.

“o—okay! i’ll tell you! just…”

her voice dies down but you wait, knowing how she needs some time to rethink her decision and let the silence engulf the room.

“i kinda need a hug…”

you noticed the pained and drained look on her face and immediately agreed in silence as you climbed your bed to lie down before patting the space beside you.

once you think she’s comfortable in her position, you pull her into your embrace. a smile formed on your face when you heard her contented sigh.

“so, the thing is that i was really really mad, and still am, to be very honest, at that damn jinah so i kinda went up to her when i saw her walking outside yesterday.”

“so you throw the punch first, hm?”

you giggle softly when hanni can only let out a whine.

“i mean, she looked so smug at that time i couldn’t hold myself back any more!”

you feel hanni’s grip on your shirt tighten. you love how you can read hanni like an open book and the fact that she only acts like this with you. you keep caressing her silky hair that recently got shorter since she said she wants a change in her so-called dull life, in an attempt to comfort her and yourself.

“oh no, yn…”

you are so surprised by hanni’s words that you pull back from the embrace to ensure she’s fine.

“why? why? are you hurting somewhere?”

you are left confused as hanni buries her face into your neck.

“the one who should do the comforting is me, not you…”

oh.

you are dazed upon the realisation that you forgot about your feelings the moment you saw hanni in front of your door earlier.

“it’s ok—”

you couldn’t finish your sentence when hanni wiggled her way out of your embrace and sat up immediately before looking back at you.

“what did she say to you?”

you stifled your laugh upon seeing her sudden serious face but to be honest, she just looks super cute right now with her lips pursed and her eyebrows so close to each other.

but still, your smile wears down while sitting up when you get taken back to the scene that happened two days ago. when jinah took your heart and stomped it on the ground heartlessly—as if she’s the one being taken her heart away—before throwing out the haunting sentence that filled up your mind.

you didn’t realise how long you were completely quiet until you registered han’s soft and gentle touch on your arm.

“do you want to tell me what happened?”

you hesitate a bit, wary about putting burdens on your best friend’s shoulder.

but the said best friend can also read you like an open book. before you can decline her, she encourages you first.

“just so you know, you won’t burden me with this at all.”

your heart suddenly clenched, your eyes suddenly filled with tears and your head hung low as you bit your lower lips when hanni started caressing your hair.

your resistance has proven weak, especially in hanni’s arms when you started sobbing your heart out while the caressing on your hair gets even gentler than you thought was possible.

“it’s okay, y/n. let it all out. i’m here to catch you. i’m here.”

hanni’s heart breaks when she feels your grip on her shirt tighten alongside your loudened sobs. a tinge of anger seeps inside her heart upon the thought of what jinah had done to make you cry so miserably. even if you won’t tell her what happened, she’ll make sure jinah will pay the price.

“sh-she said that it was all for a revenge b-because i rejected her best friend before.”

you managed to slip it out without stuttering much. you expected hanni to shout her anger like she always does when you’re feeling down because of someone else but all she did was furrow her eyebrows and caress your hair, signing that she’s trying her best to let you let your feelings all out.

“and sh-she said that,”

you gulp your tears down, feeling your heart clenched even harder at the flashback in your head.

“that i will never be enough for anyone…”

the way your voice quietens down hurts hanni’s heart so bad.

“you might not believe me now, y/n but you are more than enough for me”

“how can i be, han?”

you deny weakly. everyone who knows choi y/n know how strong-minded you are, and how you never get wavered by people’s talks. how you always managed to stand straight no matter what fell upon you.

but this time, it hurts you so bad knowing that someone you allow yourself to be vulnerable with thinks of you like that.

“y/n..”

“jinah won't say it if she didn’t mean it, didn’t she?”

“either she meant it or not, she’s so wrong, y/n. you are everything to me, you are enough to be my best friend, you are enough as my listener and you are also enough to be my menace too.”

you smile a bit when hanni ends her assurance with a light chuckle.

“really?”

“yeah.”

“even when i ghosted you for two days straight?”

“it’s understandable, y/n. you were hurt, still are, and it is just right for me to give you space for a little bit.”

the past few days you were so mad at her for not checking up on you when all she was trying to do was to give you space to recollect yourself. a small frown appears upon the disappointment hits you. you were cut off from your thoughts when you felt hanni’s small fingers drawing circles and patterns on the back of your hands.

“what’s wrong, hm?”

“I was so mad at you thinking that you didn’t care about me but it turned out that you care the most…”

your heart breaks a little upon seeing the surprise on hanni’s face.

“oh, y/n… i should have told you first, shouldn’t i?"

you shake your head, disagreeing with her.

“no, no. i should have known better, han. seriously.”

she probably sensed that you are not hiding anything as she proceed to tuck your head under her neck while caressing your hair.

a comfortable silent fills the room, driving you sleepy with the warmth of hanni’s embrace.

"you're not falling asleep on me, are you?"

"uhuh..."

you try to force your eyes open for just a little while but the sleepless nights have caught on you. you let hanni lay you down before pulling you into her embrace once again. hanni’s soft chuckle is the last thing you heard before you were taken to dreamland.

hanni smiles fondly, letting her finger graze on your face, touching every detail on it that she had long engraved in her memory.

“have a good sleep, my love.”

she kisses your forehead so softly as if you are a valuable masterpiece. her heart swollen upon hearing your contented sigh.

“i wish i could hold you like this forever, y/n.”

hanni confesses, pulling you impossibly closer to herself as she, too, drifts into dreamland.

a/n: thank you for giving this a read! feel free to leave a request on my ask :D comments and reblogs are so appreciated :))))

p/s: might do a second part since I'm on my sem break idk hihi

#pham hanni x reader #pham hanni imagines #pham hanni au #pham hanni #newjeans hanni #kpop x reader #newjeans x reader #newjeans imagines #hanni x reader #kpop imagines

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dalishious · 9 months

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Varric Tethras and the Centrist Agenda

According to David Gaider in a Game Informer interview, Varric Tethras in Dragon Age II was originally a character who the player had to question if they could trust or not. But because of the political tension embedded in the game’s story, his role changed into someone that instead, the player felt was always on their side no matter what. While I can understand the motivations behind this change, I can’t help but sometimes wonder what Varric would have been like, had he been given defining viewpoints of his own. Instead, what we have is a character who has very little distinction outside of his relationship to Hawke. While this improves somewhat in his place in Dragon Age: Inquisition, he still falls flat compared to all the other characters who at least have a backbone, whether you agree with them or not. Because Varric tries to separate himself from the mage-templar conflict by equating them, he just reads as an ignorant centrist at best, or actively harmful towards the mages at worse. Pretending that an oppressed group wanting to end oppression is just as bad as their oppressors wanting to continue the oppression, is at the end of the day, only benefiting the oppressors.

Compare Varric’s centrism to Sera’s centrism: In Dragon Age: Inquisition, the very first conversation you have with Sera after recruiting her is asking her which side she’s on in the mage-templar conflict. When she says she’s “in the middle”, you can challenge this. You can repeatedly challenge her views throughout the game, to in the very least be able to express how your character feels differently. But when Varric share his “both sides have a point” nonsense, there is no such opportunity. Varric is a vehicle for Inquisition’s overall centrist messages, with his established fan-favouritism used to steer this.

I certainly believe it’s possible to write a centrist character in an interesting way, if their centrism is treated as an intentional character flaw that they are forced to confront at some point. But Varric’s centrism is treated like a positive; like he’s simply above the conflict and everyone else is being silly for caring about it. Not once in any piece of Dragon Age media he’s been present in, has he been forced to question his views. Even at the very end of Dragon Age II when Hawke asks for input from all the companions on Anders’ actions, Varric’s response is just “I’m sick of mages and templars.” This would have been a perfect opportunity to finally force Varric to take a stand, but instead he still sees the conflict as being an annoyance rather than an issue about equal rights. With the added context being the intention to create a character that the player can rely on no matter what, the result is BioWare telling the player they should feel the same.

#anti varric #dragon age #da2 #dai #meta #stuck at home due to the storm so i finished this lol

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foreverisntenough · 4 months

Text

‘OURS’

Summary: You were his and he was yours but what would it be like adding one more? Thrust into a whirlwind romance you never could’ve imagined that became your forever love. You continue building a new life across the pond with a very beautiful Scouser. A sequel to the ‘You’re Mine’ fic.

INDEX

Warnings: This series will contain fluff, suggestion, smut (unprotected sex,) pregnancy, parenting, mention of the word ‘daddy,’ kind of angsty, alcohol consumption - not sure what else really… if i miss anything please lmk!

Note: Thank you for reading! Please be sure to like, comment, or message me what you think of the series! Try not to nitpick with any real pregnant logistics it’s better if you just read along happily :)

Chapter 10 - He’s All Yours | ‘Ours’

The final day of your trip to New York arrived. You and Trent wanted to do some shopping. It was cold but still sunny out so you opted to head down to SoHo for it. You hit it up Prada, Aime Leon Dore, Acne Studios, and all your favorites. You wanted to stop at Sporty & Rich as well so you pushed Teddy in her pram down the pavement of Greene Street holding Trent’s hand. About half way down the block a Tiktokker came up to you trying to film a video.

“Your family is gorgeous, do you mind if I ask you a few questions for a video?” The boy asked, standing with a microphone while someone else filmed for him. You looked at Trent to see his reaction. You didn’t mind but you also weren’t the famous athlete.

“Thanks, mate. Yeah, it’s no problem.” Trent answered him while he pressed a kiss to your hair before he leaned over to check on Teddy. Seeing him elicited a giggle from her as she kicked her feet in her seat.

“Can I get your names first?” The interviewer asked politely. You looked at Trent for him to respond. You didn’t know what his plan of action would be here so you wanted him to take the lead.

“This is my fiancé, Y/N, I’m Trent, and this is Teddy.” He spoke soft and slow like always as he tickled her tummy. She continued in her fit of giggles with a big smile.

“Nice to meet you all. Where are you from, bro? That accent is crazy.” The kid laughed a little surprised by Trent’s diction. You guessed you were around it so much you hardly heard it anymore but you understood why someone living in New York might be confused by the Liverpudlian accent.

“It’s definitely something.” You giggled resting your head on Trent's shoulder. “I’m from here but he’s English.” You looked up at Trent as you informed the tiktokker.

“Nah, no way that’s English. It’s not.” The boy tried to convince you Trent wasn’t English. He wasn’t going to succeed obviously, it was just a bit of banter but he obviously assumed everyone in England had one accent that you presumably believed to be the more London posh one.

“Hate to disappoint, bro but I’m definitely from the north of England. Liverpool.” Trent confirmed he in fact was English.

“Oh sick. Do you guys watch soccer then? That’s big there right?” He asked genuinely curious. You appreciated the conversational manner he was trying to induce. It was friendly and polite. Normal. You both laughed a little not trying to be rude or patronizing but it was funny.Trent was famous but if you didn’t follow football it was a bit of a reach to recognize him. Nevertheless, to say you watched ‘soccer’ would be an understatement.

“Yeah… I guess you could say we do. Our life pretty much revolves around it.” You giggled more before Teddy started making some noises. You crouched down to her level. You picked her up and she clung to you eagerly.

“Wow, she’s adorable. So do you mind running me through your fits?” The boy cooed as his camera man moved for a different angle to include the full length of what you were wearing.

“Aw, thank you. Yeah, this is our little Teddy bear. She’s in Moncler.” You pinched her chubby cheek rubbing your cold nose against hers.” Erm… and I’m wearing Max Mara.” You were in a long Teddy coat that felt like you were still wrapped up in bed. “Louis Vuitton boots and a silly Saint Laurent take out box for a purse.” You laughed displaying your bag.

“That purse is incredible. I love it. What drew you to that?” He asked inspecting the kitschy leather box.

“It was a pregnancy craving. I give him a baby, he gives me a bag. It was a simple transaction.” you teased with a slight laugh looking at Trent amused.

“A bag?” Trent joked emphasizing that he most definitely bought you more than one singular bag during your ‘cravings’. He was in a Prada coat, trousers and trainers. Simple and all black. The kid had a few questions but flicked back to you.

“Mind talking me through some of your jewelry?” He asked so you nodded and started going piece by piece. “ My necklace is Van Cleef.” You smiled. It was the one you always wore that Trent gave you when he asked you to be his girlfriend. Only now it was a little funny because as you went through the rings on your finger, from your right hand starting with a David Yurman pinky ring first then to your Spinelli Kilcollin. You jumped over to your left hand and ultimately got to your ring finger with its newly adorned ring.

“Holy shit! That ring is insane. It’s beautiful. Congratulations. Bro, can I ask what do you do for work.” The boy keenly asked Trent curious what some random man he was interviewing on the street did to afford that. Trent rubbed his hand over his face, a little embarrassed by the spotlight on him and the size of your ring. He wanted you to have it be that way though. He designed it from scratch practically and he frankly believed you deserved a bigger one.

“I’m a footballer.” Trent answered plain and simple like always. With people he didn’t know Trent was always concise. He didn’t beat around the bush.

“Like the NFL?” The interviewer's eyes widened, starting to believe he was talking to a professional athlete. He was, just not kind he was initially thinking. You couldn’t help but laugh out loud. Trent was strong and athletic. I mean, he’s perfect and sexy but him playing in the NFL would be far fetched. You mouthed a ‘sorry’ up at Trent for your blunt reaction holding onto his bicep

“No.” Trent laughed with you, agreeing that it definitely was funny. “Nah, mate. Soccer, I guess.” Trent cringed saying the word. “I play in the Premier League.” He further explained. You felt his body tense saying that word. It made you smile remembering in the first few weeks of dating he convinced you to drop the word soccer entirely.

“Oh that’s so cool. Shit, now I feel like an idiot. I asked if you watched it.” He laughed nervously running his hand through his hair staring at the ground. You reached your arm out to pat his arm reassuring him it wasn’t a big deal.

“Don’t, he’s not that big of a deal.” You teased. Trent squeezed your waist silently complaining that you’d say that joke or not. The TikTok interview ended and he asked for your instagram handles to tag you when it was posted. You shared them not thinking much.

“Um 11 million followers is a big deal, Jesus.” The interviewer looked at his friend who was filming as you walked away with your family.

You sat in an airport lounge waiting to board your flight back into Manchester. You were slumped on a couch with your forever accessory clung to you. Teddy cooed away as if she was having a full conversation with you. You nodded along with ‘yeahs’ and ‘mmhmms’ entertaining her. You peeked your head up briefly away from her though to check on Trent. He was sitting across from you, legs spread scrolling through his phone. He looked good. Really good so you sent him a cheeky text.

‘Dadddyyyy 🥵🥵🥵’

You obviously sent it as a joke. You watched him read it and shake his head. He didn’t pick his gaze up though. He just shot you a text back.

‘Relax, please. We’re in an airport 🙄’

“Never stopped you before.” You said aloud. After receiving his response.

“Yeah, well, it’s stopping me right now.” He laughed. He stood up and walked over to you, plopping down on the couch you were sitting on. “Ted, isn’t mummy silly?” He cooed. She just drooled a little and you shrugged as if Teddy had responded ‘no, dad she’s not.’ You cuddled into him and laid on his chest as cozy and appropriately as you could given your location.

“I was thinking… T, do you think it’s bad we told that TikToker we were engaged?” You asked him quietly looking at your ring currently resting on Trent’s thigh.

“Do you not want to be engaged?” He said in a dramatic overly offended way. You rolled your eyes at his theatrics. “Give it back then.” He swiftly went to take your ring off your finger. You snatched your hand away from him before he could.

“T! Stop! I’m so serious.” You laughed despite trying not to. “I’m worried.” You looked at him with fear in your eyes. A look he hated to see and a look he always wanted to fix as quick as possible. He sat up a little and cupped one of your cheeks.

“Nah, baby it’ll be the same thing we’ve done with other news as always. If people find out, people find out. If we want to post, we can post. Try not stress about this one. Let’s just enjoy this. Me and you.” He cooed soft and securely. He had a tone he’d fall into that just calmed your whole body. You collapsed into his chest some more before Teddy pulled at his shirt. “Oh yeah, sorry, you too. You’re included obviously.” He joked looking at her.

“We’re a package deal, aren’t we, baby?” You kissed Teddy’s cheek before returning your head to its comfortable place on Trent. You pulled Teddy with you.

“Sign me up then.” Trent cooed, wrapping his arms around both of you. “My girls always.”

You boarded the plane and walked to first class. Trent handled all of your carry ons. You sat down holding teddy and everything was fine. That was until Trent sat down and gently pinched Teddy’s chubby little leg and she screamed with a loud giggle.

“Shhhhh. Teddy girl, you have to be quiet.” He said muddied in a laugh. He couldn’t hide the smile on his face. He looked at you wide eyed and jaw slacked about how loud she seemed on the quiet plane.

“Oh” you began to laugh. “I forgot you haven’t flown with this cute girl yet.” You squished Teddy into a hug recalling your first flight. You have to give credit where it’s due she was actually pretty well behaved it’s just that her squeals seemed to be inordinately loud in the cabin of the plane.

“Oh my days. Can’t be doing that, Ted.” He picked her up from you. And sat her on his lap over on his seat next to the window. He rested his chin on the top of her head while they looked outside. She kicked and giggled, pulling on his hair having the time of her life with daddy.

“Yeah, you handle all that.” You laughed gesturing to Teddy. “I need to sleep on this flight.” You smiled connivingly, watching Teddy stir about in his lap.

“You sleep. Me and Ted will hang. Right, baby bear?” Trent cooed looking down at her. She had a big smile on her face and that was all that really mattered. He reached his hand out and squeezed yours. Before you knew it you were landing back in England.

You got home and collapsed on to your livingroom couch. The dogs ran chaotically towards you hopping onto the cushions and laid on you excited you were finally back home.

“Hi boyssss…” you cooed giving them all the attention they so missed. Marcel usually watched them if you weren’t around. You don’t know how you’d survive without Trent’s family. They did so much for you. You were so blessed to be invited into the Alexander-Arnold family. Every so often for the last few days you’d get reminded that you were going to change your name. It felt strange. You hadn’t really digested it fully yet. Trent came over to sit after he had changed Teddy.

“Want to watch a movie or something? I’m exhausted and I have training early tomorrow.” Trent said handing you your baby and proceeding to practically lay on top of you wrapping his arms around your waist and dropping his head in your lap.

“You pick.” You hummed, not upset by his intrusion of your space.

Teddy was 6 months old today. You were in the kitchen and Teddy was in her high chair. Trent was off for training soon so you were making breakfast for him and Teddy. Lately, you’d been skipping breakfast. You were finding that getting the baby weight off wasn’t has easy as you had anticipated. You’d always been so fit and athletic you thought you’d just bounce back but that wasn’t the case. You were working out again but it was hard to find the time or energy now when you were taking care of a baby al day. It definitely didn’t help that you lived with someone who was chronically in shape. Trent’s fitness was an essential part of his job. Teddy was still breastfeeding. It was still her main source of nutrition which was fine but it wasn’t enough so you were beginning to introduce solid food to her. She was growing so fast it almost made you a little sad. The breakfast for your 6 month old today was porridge and mashed fruit.

“That looks…. “ Trent made a face not particularly enticed by the dish walking into the kitchen. You laughed at him. He pushed the plate away from you before he came to give a kiss.

“It’s good for a 6 month old!!! Huh, Ted? Getting to be such a big girl!” You cooed excitedly as she wiggled in her chair with hungry eyes.

“My baby bear, gotta stop growing please. Have to stay just like this forever.” Trent cooed sitting next to her. He gave her a big kiss against her little pout with an ever dramatic ‘Mwah’ sound that she loved. She giggled grabbing at him with her tiny hands.

“Like what happened?” You walked towards the two of them with her food. “She got so old. I feel like we just brought her home.” You cooed taking a seat.

“Yeah…” he hummed reminiscing about your first days as a family of 3. “We did a really good job to be fair like she’s perfect. Look at this face.” He squished her cheeks together with one of his big hands. Anytime Trent did anything, said anything, Teddy would be giggling away. Completely in love and very amused by him. .

“That’s genuinely your face, T. She is you.” You teased him. They looked just about identical. Even Dianne was shocked from the second she saw Teddy at the hospital the day she was born. They were twins and Trent loved it. You did like it too. Whenever he was away it was like you had a mini version of him around that didn’t talk or eat as much.

“Mmmm, it’s yummy, baby.” You took a baby spoon and tried to get Teddy to eat. “T, eat some. She’ll do it if you do it.” He gave you a face like ‘are you fucking having a laugh?’ He had a weird thing with food textures and porridge was on the list of things he’d prefer to avoid .

“Mmm yum Ted.” He grimaced while swallowing the smallest possible bit of your baby’s food. He turned away from Teddy for only you to see and made a face as if he was going to be sick.

“Very convincing, T.” You laughed. “Not even our 6 month old is buying that.” You teased him for his poor performance. He was such a drama queen all the time which was getting progressively more funny as his actions mirrored the ones your literal child did. You continued feeding her porridge and fruit as Teddy finally gave in. You fed her slowly and patiently but persistent. You felt a little guilty though pushing so hard for her to eat. It was ironic trying to get your baby girl to eat her breakfast to grow strong and be healthy when you were currently skipping meals to get back to what once was. What was unfortunate was the likelihood of returning back to your body you had before a baby was slim, almost impossible. You could get fit, lose weight but the big changes, your hips, your boobs, things had changed that you couldn’t alter. You had thought you kept a pretty tight lid on your feelings about your body because Trent hated when you spoke negatively about yourself. You may have kept quiet but the thing was, you weren’t all that subtle with your actions. You thought he didn’t notice but he kept tabs on you all the time. He knew you struggled. You'd talked about it plenty of times and he wanted to make sure you were okay with out making you uncomfortable. So this morning as he drank a protein shake and your little girl devoured all her food. It wasn’t lost on him you sat at the table and only had a lemon water. Trent’s livelihood depended on his fitness. It stressed you out wondering what people would think about the way you looked now. When you looked in the mirror it felt like a different person. The anxiety was almost debilitating as you got ready for a home match at Anfield. Trent was ecstatic because you finally caved and decided that at 6 months you could probably bring Teddy to finally go see him play.

You got into your car with Teddy tucked in her car seat. She was in her red Liverpool jersey #66 with daddy on the back. She had on a sweat set (imagine this in red) with it and tiny white Nike trainers on. She looked really really cute. You didn’t really dress yourself with the same team spirit per se as you had dressed her. You’d been to too many games at this point. It was just one of many. You threw on a pair of dark jeans that were finally starting to fit you again, an oversized black Celine sweater that was Trent’s you stole with black Dior slingback heels and you guessed what was a topical red shearling bag from Khaite. You walked through the stadium keeping a low profile. No one else from the Alexander-Arnold family was going tonight so you didn’t want to draw any unnecessary attention. Although it was particularly unhelpful that the spitting image of Trent in your arms would squeal and try to point at the walls anytime you walked past a massive image of him. You held Teddy in your arms outside the box overlooking the pitch.

“Is that daddy? Do you see dada?” You cooed sweet and she giggled just simply hearing about him. You attempted to point down to where Trent was warming up. Following his movements with your finger for her but you were pretty sure she couldn’t make out that it was him but it was still fun and cute to watch. Trent stopped his preparations momentarily to scan the stands for you. He found the box and combed through the people to find you and Teddy. He blew you a kiss and made a heart with his hands. You laughed and squeezed Teddy some more. “Say hi to dada, Ted. We’ll blow him a kiss, okay?” Helping her press her palm to her pout identical to his to blow him a kiss. “Good job, Teddy bear.” You praised her efforts. You blew him your own kiss. Andy came over to Trent on the pitch and threw his arm around his shoulder. You could see them yapping away you assumed about Teddy. Andy waved and so you did back. Having Teddy at the match was really special. This was a moment you and Trent always dreamed of.

When the final whistle blew you waited upstairs for Trent as you always did but this time you had company. It was fun and nice. You felt like you had made yourself a best friend and even though she couldn’t even talk yet. You just liked her company.

“I heard the real TAA is here tonight.” You heard Andy’s voice before you could see him. A few boys walked into the room. Trent obviously came first directly over to you. He planted a big kiss on your lips and then took Teddy to say hi to the other guys that came up with him.

“I think congratulations are in order. Go on, let’s see it.” Robbo pressed eager to see your new engagement ring. You stuck out your hand and wiggled your fingers to show it off. They oooo’d and ahhh’d teasing you and Trent all out of love.

“Thank you.” You smiled cheekily watching your fiancé walk to the big glass windows of the box with Teddy in his arms. He proudly pointed around the stadium telling her little things, the pitch, the goals.

“I wanna bring her down to the pitch.” Trent turned to you. You nodded. When you got down to the level Trent walked you out through the tunnel. You didn’t do this often so it was still a pretty cool experience for you. Trent didn’t bat an eye, it was old hat for him. You intertwined your hand with Trent’s as he carried Teddy out onto the pitch. He walked to the center and sat down with her on the perfectly cut and pristine grass.

“This is where daddy works. What do you think, baby? Maybe you can play here one day like me.” He babbled away as Teddy’s eyes lit watching his animated face explain to her how a corner kick works. Necessary information for your 6 month old. It was precious watching them. You stood a small distance away letting them have their moment but you were getting nervous she was cold after being outside for so long.

“T, can you zip her up please, I don’t want her to get chilly.” You cooed sweetly as Teddy cuddled close to Trent. He smiled and placed the back of his hand onto her chubby cheek trying to gage if she was. He looked at her little nose that was starting to run and he felt bad.

“Are you chilly, baby bear?” Trent cooed but she just giggled clumsily falling onto his chest nuzzling her face to his. “Okay, C’mere.” Trent picked her up some and zipped her tiny puffer coat and then unzipped the Nike tech he was in. He held her closer to his chest and zipped his jacket up over the two of them. “Much better now, hm?” He kissed her forehead. You stayed way to late at Anfield but Trent was happy. When it was getting closer to when Teddy usually went down for bed, you needed to call it a night and get home.

After her first match, Teddy definitely was able to put together that when you watched matches on TV it was daddy. When the cameras would pan to just Trent she would squeal and wiggle on your lap. She couldn’t talk yet but you felt like she was getting there making ‘da’ noises when she saw him. She finally was getting the ability to perceive music and toys. She’d hold the bear rattle Marcel got her for Christmas all day just shaking it and giggling. Every time he was over at your house he was gassed that it was her toy of choice to hold. You were so relieved she was a happy baby. It made you feel like you were doing an okay job. Her giggle acting as a confirmation. She was actively paying attention and responding to her name a bit more now too. It was amazing to watch something, a human, your baby, grow and learn.

You laid on the couch one late afternoon with Teddy cuddled up to you under a blanket watching a show on tv for her. She started to whine and you deduced that she was hungry or thirsty. You paused the show and suddenly she began to cry.

“What, Ted? What’s wrong.” You attempted to soothe her but laughed a little bit that when you hit play again for the show to resume she seemed to calm. You stood up with the show still playing on the telly, holding her to walk but she began to cry again. “Teddy, I can’t get you what you want if you won’t let me go and sorry, but you’re not big enough to sit on the couch without me, are you?” You giggled. You wiped away her tears and plopped yourself back down feeling defeated but determined to find a solution. Your solution was somewhere else in the house. You grabbed your phone and FaceTimed Trent. He was in the cinema watching god knows what. He answered assuming it was going to be you so his tone was slightly different than the one he had if he was speaking to Teddy.

“What do you…” he paused realizing it wasn’t just you. “Oh, wow. What did I do to deserve a call from the most beautiful girls in the world?” You rolled your eyes at his cheesiness and readjusted your hold of Teddy.

“We’re thirsty.” You said plain and simple but gave him no other context. Teddy sniffled with a tiny grin and her breathing began to slowed now that she was able to see Trent.

“Okay?” Trent was slightly confused. It wasn’t that he didn’t want to help, he just didn’t know or understand what he was being asked to do. He sat up a bit straighter in his chair.

“Teddy girl, do you need a baba?” You cooed looking at her. Again, she couldn’t talk but Trent picked up on what he was indirectly being asked to do now.

“I’m going to get it but just out of curiosity, why you couldn't?” He laughed. You paused the TV again and Teddy began to fuss pulling at your shirt. Her breathing getting shorter, tears welling. Trent nodded catching on that clearly Teddy was in a mood. “I see. Alright, I will be right there, baby bear.” A short while later he arrived, bottle in hand.

“I have a baba for a Ms. Teddy Alexander Arnold.” You heard Trent’s footsteps walk around the couch. Teddy’s eyes lit up seeing Trent come in. She grabbed eagerly for her bottle. “I don’t even get a thank you? Sheessshhh.” He dropped down on the seat next to you on the couch.

“Can you say thank you, dada? We love you so much. Takes such good care of us. Huh?” You rested your head onto Trent. He leaned back and kicked his feet up on the couch grabbing Teddy to lay on his chest with her bottle.

“Just like mummy, ya know? So needy for daddy.” Trent continued to babble to Teddy teasing you indirectly.

“Excuse me?” You laughed with feigned offense. You attempted to cuddle up into Trent but Teddy wasn’t having it. She let out grumpy ‘pah’ noises. She scrunched her nose. Your eyes widened, surprised by her response. “Sorry, okay. He’s all yours I guess.” You held your hands up in innocence. You pretended to be outwardly upset for Teddy to understand and see. You pouted your lips dramatically. The thing was that it actually did hurt your feelings a little. She loved being with Trent all the time lately. Why did she not want you there as well?

“Can mummy join, please? Have to share.” Trent cooed to her. He pulled you into him despite her protests. He kissed you on the lips and you would’ve thought she had gotten hurt or something. The way she yelped. She almost started to cry again, eyes watering, getting upset and annoyed you were kissing her dad. Her grubby little hands grabbing for Trent.

“Okay, okay. I get it. Daddy’s all yours. He was mine first just saying.” You playfully bit at one of her chubby legs dangling off Trent’s torso. “I’m gonna go start dinner for us.” You turned looking up at Trent.

“Yeah, alright. Thank you, baby.” Trent cooed, squeezing you to him once more to your daughters displeasure before you got up. About halfway to the kitchen you could hear her giggles start up again. You had thought they were a confirmation of you doing a good job but maybe you weren’t, maybe only Trent was. Insecurity getting the best of you, not even just the best, it was getting all of you.

“Wowwww mummmmy.” Trent had come home from training to find you in the kitchen bouncing Teddy on your hip. You turned your head to look at him unimpressed. As of late, you didn’t feel very great about yourself and certainly far from sexy.

“Please stop.” You rejected his compliment. He had come home in the late afternoon but you had plans to go out tonight. Dianne was going to take Teddy and the turnaround time you had was tight so you were getting a little stressed.

“You’ve been looking so good lately, honest.” He came up and held you from behind, placing tender kisses onto the most sensitive parts of your neck. You hummed. Even though you weren't feeling your sexiest Trent definitely knew just how to make you feel good.

“I am going to feed her then I have to go get ready, shower and all that before your mum comes over.” You turned in to Trent. Teddy grabbing onto his jumper excited he was finally back home.

“I can help you shower if you want.” He gave you a cheeky smile that was so pretty and very hard to resist but you couldn’t do that right now. You really had to hurry. Teddy had been attached to you all day preventing you from getting things you needed to do done.

“No, T.” You laughed. “Someone needs to watch this little bear. Been so fussy all day.” You handed her to him and to no surprise she was thrilled. “She literally cried every time I did anything but hold her.” It only made matters worse when you handed her to him she was calm, giggly, and happy. Of course, she'd behave for him. You hopped upstairs and jumped into the shower starting the process of getting ready. When you were finished you sat in your wardrobe and sighed. You felt like absolutely nothing looked good. Nothing fit right. Trent walked into your bedroom with Teddy swinging her around as they both laughed away. As envious as you were becoming about her attachment to him, you did really love to hear the sound of their combined giggles.

“Does this look okay? I just feel like my clothes don’t look right anymore or am I supposed to dress more like a mum?” you asked Trent as you gave him a twirl in a red rhinestone mini dress. It was almost see through. It had a draped neckline that usually you would love how your boobs looked in something like that but now after breastfeeding it just felt…wrong to do for some reason. It was unreasonable short when when you put on your heels. Everything was just off.

“Baby. This is fucking sexy trust me…” Trent slapped his hand over his mouth after he heard himself curse in front of Teddy. You laughed at his reaction. “I actually might need to leave the room before I get too excited. Your boobs look amazing, your legs look amazing. And let’s be real here… That face is just stunning. You could wear a paper bag and still be gorgeous.” You softly smiled appreciating his compliment and attempt to boost your confidence. Trent sat on the bed with Teddy playing while you finished getting ready. You could tell he had picked up on her favoritism lately but didn’t want to bring it up in case it mad you feel worse but he was trying though.

“Ted, doesn’t mummy look beautiful? You have the most pretty mummy.” he cooed while playing with her growing curls. You faked a smile knowing it was said with love, it just was confusing you that for some reason you were having to convince your own baby to like you. Dianne came over and Teddy cried as you left. It hurt you every time she was upset but it definitely was on your mind now wondering if she was upset you were leaving or because he was.

You came home later than expected and probably a little drunker than you anticipated too. You were passionately and messily making out practically before you could even make it into the house. You were all over each other. Trent was determined and when he had his mind set on something particularly when it came to matter like fucking you he was going to get his way. He pushed you up against the kitchen island raising the hem of your dress, creeping his big hands closer to where you wanted them. You moaned lost in the moment. He was trying to fuck in the your kitchen. He lifted you up from under your thighs and placed you on the cold marble surface.

“Oh my fucking god. You’re so sexy, baby” he groaned between messy kisses then beginning to work some down your neck. It occurred to you very quickly though the second you heard him that he was speaking fairly loud.

“T! T! Wait!” you yelped stifling a moan you wanted to let out, feeling his plump lips on your skin. “Your mum! Your mum. Hold on!” You pushed your palm against his chest trying to distance him from you. When he heard you mention his mum, things halted fast. He groaned, annoyed that you had a point. Embarrassingly, Dianne definitely must've heard you. She came down from upstairs with a cheeky smug smile on her face asking if you were having fun. She clearly heard. You knew she knew you two had sex. Hell, you had a baby together but you were still embarrassed. You said thank you and she headed out. Trent moved rapidly to your bedroom. You stopped in Teddy’s nursery first to check if she was still asleep, which she was soundly. You kissed her forehead and walked back to your room. You weren't exactly surprised when you came in and found Trentnt sat on your bed in only his boxers, cock tenting hard in them, leaning back on his arms, legs spread. You'd be lying if you said you weren't immediately turned on. You stood in front of him and slowly peeled the straps of your dress off your shoulders. You let the fabric drop to the floor leaving you in just a matching lacy set.

“C’mere right now.” Trent commanded you. You could see the fire and lust burning behind his stare. You pushed his chest with your palm laying him back on the bed. You straddled over him, casually grinding your wet covered core over his cock. You grabbed his one hand and dragged it over your bare stomach, around to your back and up to the clasp of your lace bralette. He unhooked it with ease, you tits bouncing out free from the material.

“Is this what you wanted downstairs?” You cooed seductively, getting yourself all excited for what was about to happen. In true form, Trent of course had to be just a tad annoying.

“Hey, hey, my daughters in the other room…” he teased acting as if this was all your idea, that he didnt start this whole thing, that he didnt want to fuck you right now. You huffed annoyed and stopped moving on top of him. He laughed a little and held your hips making sure you didn't get off him.

“Please daddy.” you whined slyly knowing he wouldn't be able to resist. You watched the teasing smirk he had drop almost instantaneously. A small smile grew on your face watching his reaction. You began rolling your hips again aching for the contact. You moaned when your clit rubbed against his bulge. Trent kept one hand on your hip guiding your movements but brought his other to cup your cheek then swiftly dragged his thumb across your lips. He slipped it into your mouth with ease. You sucked on it like you would his cock. He groaned when your eyes began to flutter closed with a sigh. You desperately sped up your movements grinding on top of him simultaneously swirling your tongue around his finger. He pulled it out and slipped his now wet fingers down through your folds. Suave as ever he dipped two of his fingers inside of you. You moaned blinking down at him begging without a word. He curled his fingers just the way you liked.

“Do you want more, baby? Tell me what you want me to do for you.” He cooed, enjoying his view of you falling apart on top of him just from his fingers. Your pussy clenched with a whine at the way he spoke to you. A shiver ran down your spine.

“Mmhhm, T. please, baby.” You hummed as you nodded. “I want you to fuck me, please. I want you to make me take your cock.” Your dirty words were enough to stop all the teasing. You both were completely naked in an instant. He smiled looking up at you in awe. Somehow if it was even possible he was harder than he was before. You helped him line his hard cock already leaking precum with your entrance. He groaned as you sank down on him taking his whole length. You threw your head back at the feeling of him finally inside of you.

“You look so sexy, right now, baby. Fuckkk. Look so sexy riding me, sexy taking my cock. You looked so fucking good tonight I needed this.” He ranted watching as you began to bounce on his cock.

“Ah fuck, T you feel so good.” you mewed as your body rocked back and forth on top of him. Your tits bouncing perfectly for him. He cheekily sucked and bit your nipples.

“Take my cock so well. Makes me wanna cum right now in this pretty pussy. Get you pregnant all over again.” His words set you off. You crumbled on top of him in a fit of cries. You fell onto his chest clinging to him as he hit a spot so deep inside you had no choice other than to fall into an earth shattering orgasm. Your pussy spasmed gushing messily onto his cock and abs.

“Holy shit. Oh my god, T.” you whined blissfully overstimulated as he thrusted deeper up into you rolling his hips leaving kisses all along your neck. He reached his hand down between your two sweaty bodies and began to rub your clit knowing he was getting close to his own release.

“That’s it. Be a good girl f’me. Just gimme one more. I’ll fill you up, baby. You want that?” you couldn't think straight anymore. You just moaned as he rubbed your clit in circular motions harder and faster. Your second orgasm washed over you as he simultaneously came inside of you, his hips stuttering and growing sloppier before he slowly came to a stop pumping you full of his cum just as he had promised he would. You got off of him onto wobbly legs collapsing on the bed next to him with your skin shiny, your heart racing, and his cum dripping down your thighs. Trent laughed a little looking at you with loving eyes.

“That was so good, T” you giggled leaning over on him. “I hope we didn't wake Ted.” you got nervous momentarily grabbing for the baby monitor to check. You were relieved to see her still fast asleep. It seemed obvious but you loved having sex with Trent it always put you in a great mood. You loved when he was in control of you but still sweet. It was just the best.

“It's always good.” he confirmed your review before he kissed your forehead and pulled you into his strong slightly sweaty body some more. “It’ll keep being good for the rest of your life. You’re locked into this now. Mrs. Alexander-Arnold.” he teased pinching at your cheek. You cleaned up and got ready for bed. Trent was out like a light fairly quickly. He was exhausted from training, your night out, then what followed when you got home. You were tired as well but your mind was running a mile a minute. You’d be lying if you said you hadn’t had a Pinterest board for years building what your ideal wedding would look like. You started to piece together though more real ideas that fit your current taste and factoring what would be reflective of your relationship with Trent. You scrolled on your phone looking at the all the images you’d saved and that’s when it hit you. Trent’s words ringing in your head again and again. ‘Mrs. Alexander-Arnold’ Trent’s surname was so important to him. The whole TAA thing was almost like a brand and you understood that. You had dreamed probably before you even met him of becoming Y/N Alexander-Arnold. It just was so real now as you looked down at your ring finger and over at the man who gave it to you. You typed out your new name to really see it. In a strange way it made you sad. Like it wasn't really your name. You wanted to take his surname and had planned on it but as it got later and later into the night you just felt like there had been so much change happening in your life, so much was new, so much was giving you anxiety. You had moved countries, you got a house, you had a baby, your body looked so different, you were engaged, and now you weren't even sure your baby liked you. That's a stretch you knew she did but her obsession and preference for Trent was starting to really upset you. All of this was so overwhelming. You weren't you. You weren't exactly the most secure or confident person before all of these things had happened but now you felt less like yourself than ever. You could feel a lump growing in your throat, tears building. Not only were you experiencing severe anxiety you felt so guilty about it all. All of these things were exciting and happy. And you were happy about each and every one of them. You had never loved your life more… then why was this so difficult? You couldn't help it or hold back the tears anymore. You started to cry attempting to be quiet. You rolled over to face away from Trent. He was asleep but not deep enough to miss the sound of your short breaths and sniffles. Your body shaking lightly. He hugged you from behind pulling you into him.

“Baby, what’s wrong. Are you okay?” he whispered resting his chin onto your shoulder. The stubble from his facial hair tickling your bare skin.

“I don’t know. I'm sorry I woke you. I'll go downstairs. I’m sorry.” you apologized feeling bad you woke him up.

“No you won't. You’re gonna stay right here with me. C’mere.” he hugged you tighter, kissing your cheek. “Do you want to talk about what's going on or do you just want me to hold you until you feel up for it?” He asked patiently and lovingly. It made you feel worse he was being so sweet.

“No, it's stupid anyways. I’m sorry.” you apologized again nuzzling your face against his. Your tears were still running down your cheeks now getting on him.

“It's not stupid if it’s making you upset. I don't like when you're upset, baby. I got you, alright? Whatever’s going on we can work on it together. I’ll take care of you. Promise” he wiped your tear stained cheeks with his thumb.

“Maybe tomorrow or something. Thank you for being here, T. I love you so much” You felt much calmer in his arms but it didn't exactly fix any of your worries.

“I love you more than I can even put into words. I’m always here for you… forever.” he kissed your cheek again. He nestled his head into the nape of your neck and closed his eyes holding you securely. “Not going anywhere so if you want to talk or you need me, you got me.” he cooed. You let him doze off. He was tired, you were tired, you both needed sleep and you needed time to figure out how you would even articulate what you were feeling to him. Maybe tomorrow.

•

Thank you for reading! Please like, comment, or message what you think of the chapter … 🤍

Next part - Chapter 11 xx

#trent alexander arnold x reader #trent alexander arnold #trent alexander arnold imagines #taa x reader #taa66 #oursfic #footballer x reader #footballer x y/n

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starlightkun · 1 month

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❧ teaser word count: 973 | full fic: 26.0k ❧ genre: angst, fluff, paranormal/supernatural au, ghost!jisung ❧ warnings: mentions of death, prominent side character dies early in the fic, depictions of grieving, family member of the reader is sick (it’s dementia-like, though the disease is never named in the fic), family tension/drama (reader has some family members that are not very nice to her), reader has some sleep/physical health issues at one point, reader is just really going through it in this fic for a while ❧ extra info: the reader’s mom in this has early-onset memory issues; i didn’t name a specific disease because im not a medical expert of any kind and didn’t want to misrepresent any real-life illness in this fic. i combined both my own experiences with my own family members who have had these kinds of illnesses and some research, but i am not an expert and the representation in this fic may not be entirely accurate! ❧ estimated release date: saturday, august 24, 2024 3:00 p.m. eastern time

Crying at a wake was normal. Encouraged even. But you weren’t amongst loved ones, remembering someone you’d lost. You were alone, sitting at the top of the stairs in the dark, crying into your arms to muffle your sobs as you tried to compose yourself from the confrontation you’d just survived. Barely. Your hands were balled into fists to keep them from shaking.

“Are you okay?” A quiet voice caught your attention, gentle, then hushed as he seemed to be speaking to himself, “Why are you asking that? Stupid, stupid.”

You picked your head up out of your arms, quickly wiping the tears that had been streaming down your cheeks as you spotted a young man at the bottom of the stairs. He had dark hair and was dressed in a pair of black pants, a white shirt, and what looked like a black cardigan over the shirt. You didn’t recognize him from the wake, but you hadn’t greeted everyone, nor did you know all the mourners personally. Many were either family friends of your stepdad’s from before he met your mother, old colleagues, or distant relations.

Sniffling and trying to right your clothes, you offered him as much of a smile you could muster, “I’m sorry, it’s uhm, been a long day.”

He froze, his eyes locking on yours and going wide. The man looked behind him, as if expecting you to have been addressing somebody else, and upon seeing an empty hallway, he turned back to you and hesitantly replied, “That’s… okay. Are you alright?”

“Oh, as alright as I can be, I suppose,” you admitted, dabbing at your eyes with your sleeve again. You weren’t sure why you were telling this random man that, but he had spotted you sobbing at a wake, so there wasn’t much of a point in covering that fact up. “Were you looking for the bathroom or…?”

“No, just stretching my legs.” He pushed his hands into the pockets of his cardigan. “I’m sorry for your loss.”

“Thank you.” You nodded. “I don’t think I saw you at the funeral. How did you know my stepdad? Family friend?”

“Yeah, I was around when his kids were growing up.”

“Oh, are you a childhood friend of his sons or something?”

“Friend is a stretch, I think,” he chuckled.

You couldn’t help but laugh bitterly as well, adding a polite but hollow, “I’m sure they appreciate you coming out to pay your respects.”

As he shifted on his feet, the shadows on his face lessened, letting you see his features better. You furrowed your brow with interest.

“How old are you? I mean—You don’t look older than me, you must’ve been much younger than them growing up.”

“I-I mean, we weren’t very close,” he stammered, rubbing the back of his neck awkwardly.

Feeling bad about putting him on the spot in this sort of scenario, you offered him a sympathetic smile. “Sorry, I didn’t mean anything by that. I didn’t grow up with my stepbrothers, so I guess it’s a bit hard for me to imagine them having friends—Oh!”

As soon as the words were out of your mouth, you slapped a hand over it, wishing you hadn’t said them, especially not to some stranger, who for all you know could turn right around and repeat it to your stepbrothers. That would be the last thing you needed, to give them another reason to hate you, and by extension, your mother.

“That didn’t come out right!” You desperately tried to backpedal, holding your hands out in front of you. “I-I meant that I haven’t met a lot of their friends, since our parents got together later in life, and—”

“It’s okay, it’s okay,” he reassured you calmly, taking a couple hesitant steps up the stairs. You scooted over to make room for him to sit next to you on the top step. He pressed himself against the banister, leaving plenty of space between you two. “I didn’t mean to, but I heard some of what they said to you in the kitchen.”

“I would normally be upset at you for eavesdropping, but I’m kind of glad that somebody else heard some of the shit they said to me this time,” you chuckled cynically.

“‘This time?’” He repeated questioningly. “Are they always like that to you?”

“I don’t see them that often. I think the first time I met the middle son was at the wedding, actually,” you said. “They started spending more holidays with their mom instead of Hyukjun when my mom… after her diagnosis.”

“Oh.”

“God, sorry, you don’t need to be hearing all this shit.” You shook your head at yourself. “I mean, I don’t even know your name.”

“I’m Jisung.”

“Y/N.”

“For what it’s worth, I don’t think it’s true. You and your mom are his family, too.”

You messed with the sleeves of your shirt as you stared at the bottom step, gnawing on your bottom lip, ignoring the metallic taste of blood when you broke skin. Finally, once you’d swallowed down the lump in your throat, you replied with a tight, “Thanks. And I mean, I understand why they would be upset. Their dad just died and two people who are essentially strangers to them are now living in their childhood home. Of course they feel weird about it.”

“That’s... gracious.”

“It’s true. And like I said, their dad died, they deserve some grace.” From elsewhere in the house, you could hear your mom calling your name, and immediately jumped to your feet. “Sorry, I’ve got to go.”

“I understand.” Jisung nodded to you. “It was nice talking to you, Y/N.”

“Yeah, you too. Thanks for listening, Jisung.” You waved to him over your shoulder as you rushed down the stairs and off in the direction of your mother’s voice.

⤷ masterlist

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chelseeebe · 1 year

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fatefully.

summary: your roommate is incessant in setting you up with his friend. when things get tough, can he persevere through your anything-but-normal life?

i acc liked this and then the more i kept writing, the more i started to h8 it but i hope that you can appreciate some eddie fluff hehe. i have had the worst eddie brain rot recently idk what’s goin awnnn i acc rlly want to do a p2 w some angst (obviously) but i don’t know.. potentially.

modern!eddie au

smut(18+), mentions of hospitals and sick brother ! erm alcohol n weed usage 2 no use of y/n!

⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯ ❤︎ ❤︎ ⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯

you were losing the will to live. the continuous banging had been going on for what seemed like hours. the pillow doing nothing to muffle the sound either.

the roommate situation with steve had been going well so far. he kept to himself, kept his shit clean and seemed to be an incredibly polite guy from what you saw of him. not that that was very often.

trying to balance an internship and a supposed to be part-time but was something more like full-time bar job meant that you rarely crossed paths. mostly coming home in the early hours and crashing before you had to be up again in a number of hours to do it all again.

either way, it all seemed well and good until tonight. he'd bought some girl over before you got back. you could hear the giggles through the door the second you walked in. rolling your eyes and hoping that they'd at least shut up when they heard you were home.

nada.

you could hear every second of their session and the subsequent pillow talk that followed. making out that her name was georgia and she had an incredibly high-pitched, whiny voice that made your teeth clench.

though, you must've dozed off at some point, waking to the god-awful sound of your alarm. ready for another twelve hour long day on four hours of sleep. oh goody.

when you finally get home after what felt like the longest day ever, steve’s still awake, slumped on the couch watching some intense movie. he was alone, no georgia in sight. so you thank the high heavens that you might actually sleep tonight.

‘hey,’ smiling politely as he pauses the tv, sitting up properly.

‘what’re you still doing up?’ you ask, he’d normally be asleep, or at least in bed at this time, most people were.

‘ah, i got way too into this movie,’ he chuckles, ‘you always get back this late? you must be exhausted.’

you hang your bag on the hook, shimmying out of your jacket and placing it on top. spending far too much time focussing on making it sit perfectly, rather than having to look him in the eye after everything you’d heard last night.

‘i am.. especially after last night,’ rolling your eyes at the wall.

‘yeah.. shit, sorry ‘bout that,’ he adds sheepishly and you can hear the couch shift as he stands up.

you shrug, spinning around at last, having spent an awkward amount of time fiddling with your jacket, ‘your friend not staying tonight?’ wiggling your brows at him.

‘nah.. it’s not like that.. y’know.. she is just a friend,’ flashing you an awkward smile from across the room.

‘hmm you seem pretty friendly for just friends,’ walking into the small kitchen and opening the fridge. steve’s shelf fully stocked with a shit ton of organic food while your shelf laid empty.

he follows, lingering a few steps behind, ‘she is! what? you don’t have friends like that?’

‘friends that i have extremely loud sex with? no, no i don’t,’ you didn’t really have friends full stop. not since moving to the city at least.

closing the depressing fridge and sighing, adding grocery shopping to your already miles long to-do list.

‘whaat? c’mon that’s like the best part of your twenties.. wait, you have.. haven’t you?’ he asks cautiously, leaning against the doorway.

you scoff, now slightly offended at what he was implying, ‘are you asking if i’m a virgin?’

‘no! well- kinda,’ he holds his hands up in innocence, ‘i just.. you don’t y’know, go out a lot.. i’m just digging myself a hole here,’ shaking his head as the words keep tumbling out.

‘no, i am not a virgin.. if you must know, i just don’t have any time to waste on finding moderately attractive guys to have disappointing sex with.. so i don’t,’ trying to formulate how you can escape from this awkward conversation so you can crawl into bed and die.

he ponders for a second, pushing himself off of the frame and blocking your exit plan, ‘don’t shoot me down straight away, okay?’

you roll your eyes, the clock on the wall indicating that you’d have to be awake in seven hours time and with whatever nonsense was about to come out of his mouth, who knew when you’d actually get to bed?

‘what?’

he nods to himself, a smile creeping onto his face, ‘i think you should meet my friend, he’s the perfect person to bring a bit of fun to your life..’ he can see the stern look on your face, ‘no, seriously.. i think you should meet him.’

you try to hide the annoyance on your face, ‘no,’ his face falls at your immediate dismissal, ‘i mean, i don’t have the time.. in fact, i need to go to bed now..’ taking a few steps towards him, hoping the low light would hide your flushed cheeks.

humiliating that he not only saw you as some pathetic virgin but that he needed to actively help you make some friends.

‘please,’ standing still in the doorway, ‘meet him, i’m sure he’d be very happy to meet you.. i know,’ face lighting up, you could almost see the lightbulb going off in his head, ‘i’ll have some friends over and it can be like.. completely natural and casual, yeah?’

no i don’t want to fucking meet your strange friend. i want you to stop pitying me like i’m some lonely child that desperately needs friends. how about that?

you don’t say it, obviously. instead shaking your head and attempting to slip past the small gap between his body and the door. his arm extends to fill the space, completely blocking you in.

you huff, frustrated with his stupid games, ‘i have work,’ the only rebuttal you knew he couldn’t argue against.

‘when?’

‘..all the time,’ you look up at him, his chestnut eyes already boring into yours, it knocks you sick just how beautiful they were.

‘that’s a lie,’ raising his eyebrows.

‘it’s not,’ it was. but hell, you’d pick up an extra shift if it meant you wouldn’t be forced to socialise with his friends and especially not whoever the hell this mystery man was.

‘c’mon.. you deserve to have fun, you work so much.. call in sick.’

see, steve had the privilege of not having to work for survival. he’d been handed a cushy job at his dad’s law firm the second he’d turned 21. never had to worry about bills or rent or getting fired. one day he’d be the one running the company and he could sit back and watch the money roll in while he did nothing.

lucky him.

‘steve, i really can’t.. maybe another week,’ it was like talking to a child, empty promises to get him to relent.

he frowns, arms crossed over his chest which gave you just enough room to get past him and speed walk to your room.

‘you’re boring,’ he calls after you, sighing when your door shuts.

breathing a sigh of relief knowing that you could now avoid that awful conversation for at least another week.

you hadn’t thought anything about the quiet music from the hallway, assuming maybe ms. georgia was over again and he’d finally learnt just how much other people could hear.

so when you open the door and god knows how many people are milling around in your living room you want to strangle steve fucking harrington and his conniving little face.

he grins when he notices you walk in, coming over to the door with a red cup full of something. you mouth a bunch of obscenities, hoping only he could see.

‘you left your schedule on the counter.. you’re a liar,’ smirking as his plan had worked perfectly.

there aren’t even any words to describe how pissed off you are, ‘you’re an asshole,’ you hush, slinging your jacket on the hook rather aggressively.

his friends all eye you, trying not to listen to your angry whispers. you wonder which one he was trying to set you up with. already dying thinking of the awkward conversation that was inevitably coming.

‘c’mon live a little..’ he nudges your arm, spinning you to face the group and you want to die. hoping that somehow the earth would open up and swallow you whole.

‘i’ll introduce you,’ he smiles, leading you over to the group with his hand firmly on your arm, making sure you couldn’t slip away.

if you hadn’t wanted to die before. you definitely did now.

his friends all seemed lovely, muttering about how much they’d heard about you and other fake pleasantries. you’d apologised for looking like the way you did.. gritting your teeth that this was all very much a surprise for you.

georgia’s here again, perched on the end of the couch, sipping on her drink. separated from the rest of the group. she’s nice enough, smiling as he introduces you properly. a little bashful as she’s well aware you were in the apartment the other night.

he gets round everyone and you can’t figure out who he was so desperate for you to meet. either they were in relationships with each other or just completely not the fun loving guy he’d been so incessant about.

you don’t bring it up, hoping maybe he couldn’t make it and you’d only have to sit there and politely chatter with these strangers and not have to try and graciously let some guy down. that you could deal with.

‘i’m gonna get changed,’ you nod, pulling away from steve who flashes you a look, a warning not to just disappear into your room which you’d highly considered.

you do prolong getting changed, sitting on the end of your bed with your blouse unbuttoned, contemplating whether barricading yourself in your room was viable. dealing with an annoyed steve would be ten times better than the night you would have.

a knock on your door throws you out do your self-pitying session, jumping up and rushing over to answer the door before steve could barge his way in.

‘i’m literally nearl-,’ you stop, interrupted by a face that did not belong to steve, a pair of kind brown eyes staring back at you, obviously not really sure what he was expecting on the other side of the door.

‘uhh.. the bathroom’s down the hall,’ pointing to closed wooden door, hoping he’d just been mistaken.

‘oh,’ the stranger smiles, ‘no.. steve told me to tell you to hurry up,’ he shrugs, ‘i don’t know, i just got here,’ relinquishing himself from any blame.

'right, tell him i'm nearly ready and that he's an asshole,' going to close the door on him before his boot catches it, keeping it open.

'i'm eddie.. by the way,' sticking his hand out through the gap for you to shake. which you do gingerly, catching sight of your white work shirt which you'd rather embarrassingly remembered was half unbuttoned.

your hand flies up to cover your exposed chest, 'oh my god, i'm so sorry,' cheeks flushing a deep scarlet. he'd done a great job of not staring down your shirt at least.

he laughs airily, watching as you shrivel up in pure embarrassment, 'i'll let you get dressed,' he announces, sauntering off to the living room with a shit eating grin on his face.

you manage to cool your face down and get changed. by process of elimination you could guess that eddie was most likely the guy steve was so enthusiastic about you meeting and now you'd have to sit there for hours trying to be polite after he had definitely just seen your tits.

coming into the living room, it's clear that steve's conspired with everyone and made them shuffle, leaving the only free seat the one next to eddie on the smaller couch. he was smart, you'd give him that. even if you did want to wring his neck as he smirked at your from the other couch.

you don't even want to look poor eddie in the eyes, still utterly ashamed about him seeing you half naked. fortunately, he breaks the awkward tension first, offering you a drink and a small, reassuring smile.

steve's friends are all lovely, making you feel slightly guilty for how cold you'd been when you'd walked in. they'd all been well aware that this was one of steve's tricks. even eddie which made everything so much worse. knowing that they'd all been brought here in an attempt to force you two together.

they get into a heated conversation about something you don't understand, leaving you to find solace in the lukewarm drink in your hand. steve and georgia take themselves off into the kitchen and there's a collective groan and a shared look.

'what?' you ask, watching as their faces speak a thousand confusing emotions.

one girl rolls her eyes, leaning in to speak in hushed tones, 'how long has she been back around?'

'uh.. i don't know, she was over thursday?' still confused at their sudden change in attitude.

'hmm,' she nods, giving the brown haired girl a look you can't pick up on, 'annoying as fuck, right?' she snickers, glancing over to make sure they were still in the kitchen.

well, yeah. but you weren't going to outright state that you were annoyed. it wasn't really any of your business. so you just shrug in response, a smile creeping onto your lips when she laughs loudly.

'you won't have to deal with it for long,' the girl, robin her name is, laughs, leaning back in the armchair to watch the pair in the kitchen, seemingly innocently bickering about something.

'oh?'

she turns to give you her full attention, 'they do this every few months or so.. she'll tell him to fuck off, so he does.. and then a few months later she'll crawl out of the woodwork and want to be friends again,' she rolls her eyes, 'we don't like her.'

that'd explain why you'd never seen her before. it was finally his turn in the rotation.

'right.. seems pretty complicated, why would you be friends with someone like that?'

'oh babe, no one knows.. just gotta let him do his thing, it never lasts long,' she laughs, nudging your knee with hers as they walk back over, jumping back into her seat with her eyebrows raised.

everyone had sorta gone off into their own little pockets of conversation, leaving you and eddie to chat between yourselves. it was slightly uncomfortable at first, through no fault of his. the thought of you flashing him still playing heavily in your mind.

'it's awkward, isn't it?' he leans in, looking at his circle of friends, none of them paying you any mind.

his straightforward nature strangely putting you at ease, 'a little.. at least you knew what you were walking into, i had no idea you'd all be here,' finding some hilarity in the half-assed blind date steve had tried to set up.

'he's a prick,' eddie laughs, swigging on his beer, 'it's funnier if you play into it, make him think he's winning,' tapping his finger on the side of his head.

'well, how d'we do that?' asking curiously, wanting nothing more than to antagonise steve.

'mm, follow me,' clearing his throat as he stands from the sofa, holding his hand out for you to take, narrowing your eyes at him but obliging. his fingers are calloused as they encase your hand, but it's almost comforting. he felt real.

he doesn't say a word as he walks through the living room, their eyes all following as he guides you over to your bedroom without so much of a look back. the silence is deafening as their conversations quieten, all trying to eavesdrop, figuring out what the hell just happened.

once the door is shut, he holds his finger over his mouth, listening out for the sound of voices again knowing they'd be doing the exact same thing on the other side. you can pick up on steve's voice faintly starting up again over the music and he nods, that same shit-eating smile on his face from earlier.

'now what?' staring at him in amusement, now unknowingly trapped in your bedroom for the foreseeable.

he shrugs, taking a seat on your bed, gazing around the room, 'now we wait.. you got anything to drink in here?'

you ponder for a moment, 'no.. d'you smoke weed?'

his eyes light up at the very question, grinning from ear to ear.

you're mid wheeze when someone bangs on the door, laid back on your bed, eddie sprawled out on the other side laughing maniacally at the shitty impression of steve you'd attempted.

'come in,' you call out, trying to catch your breath and stop laughing, though his face was only making you giggle more.

the door swings open to reveal robin stood on the other side, peeking through her fingers, 'oh,' she looks baffled, not expecting such innocence, 'what're you doing?'

eddie runs a hand over his face, trying his hardest not to start laughing again, 'smoking.. you want in?' offering what must have been the third spliff to her.

'i'm good.. we're going out, jon's got some underground club he desperately wants to go to.. you coming?' her face still very much not understanding what you two were giggling about.

you shake your head, 'nah.. i'm okay,' smiling up at her, hair fanned out around your head.

eddie looks over to you before answering, 'i'm gonna stay here,' slotting the joint into your lazily spread fingers.

your heart beats faster when his fingers brush against yours, though, that was a hard feat with how much the weed was slowing down every other part of you.

'alright well, goodnight losers,' robin calls out, closing the door behind her.

you only need to look at eddie and you're roaring with laughter again, clutching your stomach, holding the spliff in the air so to not get ash all over your bed.

you hadn't imagined your night ending like this but you were pretty glad it did.

a muffled argument pulls you from your sleep. pulling your face from the comfort of eddie's back, you must've rolled over in your sleep and decided to cling onto him. it doesn't feel as weird as it probably should have, in fact, it was pretty comforting. he groans and you can feel the vibration in your cheek.

'what the fuck?' you mumble sleepily, hazy with sleep and honestly probably still slightly high.

you don't even remember falling asleep, but you must've pulled your jeans off at some point in the night, your bare legs strikingly obvious as you sit up slightly, trying to listen to the bickering. you can't really make out any words, just a lot of angry, hushed tones.

'this happens everytime,' turning over to face you, curling one arm beneath the pillow.

'what does?'

'those two arguing, every single time,' rolling his eyes, 'watch this,' he bangs his fist against the wall a couple times, making the row to silence. he grins into the pillow, closing his eyes again as he'd won the who can be louder war.

you put your head back down onto the pillow, smiling at his smug, sleepy face, 'thank you,' you say quietly, watching as one eye peaks open, just staring at each other in your darkened room, small rays of sun beginning to peek through.

it's a few small minutes, gazing, sleepily at one another before the feud begins again.

'fuck me,' eddie moans, bursting into laughter as he extends his arm, pulling the blanket over your heads, stifling at least some of the irritating sounds from the other room, giggling as you both drop off back to sleep.

when you wake up again, at a more appropriate time of the morning, your bed is empty. you’re not sure why you’re disappointed but your heart drops slightly when you turn to the empty mattress.

until something crinkles beneath your body, fishing out the small piece of paper from under your arm.

had to go 2 work, didn’t want 2 wake u

text me (476) 781-7759

scrawled on the page messily, brushing the tiniest hint of a smile on your face as you roll out of bed, swearing to yourself to at least leave it a few hours before texting.

eddie’s not the best texter but he makes damn sure to respond to you. even though it is just mostly silly, irrelevant texts about what you were doing. being sent occasional pictures of cars or whatever it was he was working on. the conversation lasts all weekend, concealing your phone from steve’s curious eyes.

once monday hits, your texts become less frequent and you feel slightly guilty. especially when he’d double text, thinking maybe you hadn’t received the first one.

it was sweet really, which only made you feel worse for not getting back to him in a normal time frame. a rare moment of peace meant you could finally catch up on his tirade of texts and sling back a lazy reply before getting back to editing some of the worst articles you’d ever seen.

what r u doing on saturday?

another text pinged through, following the last one from about an hour ago.

I’ve got work :(

where do u work?

firing back almost immediately after your response. you scan the office before replying, making sure no one was watching.

In Simmon’s😖

ohh okay

you lock your phone, promising to respond properly on your break. slightly stumped by his short reply.

you’re on autopilot, dashing up and down the length of the bar, faking a smile at the slimy old men ogling you from the other side.

so much so that you don’t notice who exactly is stood at the register.

‘what can i get for you?’ tapping at the screen to send another order through before giving the customer your full attention.

he doesn’t respond, pulling your eyes from the screen, the familiar chestnut eyes staring back, slightly widened as your customer service voice was in full swing.

‘oh my god, what are you doing here?’ immediately switching off, repressing the growing grin.

‘i thought i’d see if you wanted a ride home? i was just passing,’ eddie chuckles, eyeing your beer stained uniform.

‘oh.. yeah,’ smiling fully now, ‘i don’t finish ‘til twelve though,’ you’re sure he had better things to do on a saturday night than sit in the rundown bar waiting for you to finish.

‘it’s okay, i’ll wait,’ he nods, sliding into the empty bar stool, ‘i’ll take a drink though.. if you’re offering,’ smirking over the bar.

you feel giddy, having to excuse yourself for a moment while you recollect in the kitchen. waiting for the butterflies to subdue but they never do.

the engine idles as you sit outside of your apartment building, neither of you wanting to be the one to say goodbye first.

‘d’ya wanna come in?’ you proposition, steve’s car wasn’t in his usual spot so you knew you’d at least be away from his prying questions.

‘do you want me to?’ you hadn’t sounded entirely confident in your question, it had been a while since you’d done this, okay? it’s valid.

‘i wouldn’t have asked if i didn’t,’ smiling as you try to hold your nerve.

‘okay,’ he laughs, turning the engine off.

he follows you into the building, holding the door and letting you enter first. desperately struggling to not swoon at the very basic level of chivalry. walking into your dark apartment with eddie at your heal, eternally grateful that steve wasn’t home.

slinging your bag onto the floor, keys rattling as they land in the shared fruit bowl turned key-bowl. sidling into the kitchen knowing that you still had not gone grocery shopping.

‘have you eaten? i’m starving.. i can cook.. uh,’ leering into the barren cupboard, ‘..noodles,’ wincing at severe lack of food.

‘sounds good to me,’ he slides onto one of the tall chairs, watching as you grab a saucepan. he couldn’t believe that you were offering to cook for him even after your long day.

the door slams shut, jolting your attention from the stove as steve walks in, grumpy and feeling sorry for himself, his navy bag slung over his shoulder. he comes trundling into the kitchen, questioning if he was actually seeing this.

‘whoa-ho-ho, what’s going on here?’ nudging eddie with his elbow, shit-eating grin plastered on his face.

‘i’m cooking, genius,’ stirring the pot of simmering noodles, choosing to ignore his implication.

‘wha- you don’t cook for me,’ jutting his bottom lip out, leaning across the kitchen counter.

‘you don’t pick me up from work.. so no.’

‘oh, so it’s like that now, is it?’ wiggling his eyebrows, elbowing eddie once again.

you roll your eyes, pretending that you didn’t hear the teasing tone in his voice.

‘where are you going?’ eddie asks, eyeing steve’s large duffel bag that now sat on the kitchen floor.

he lets out the biggest groan, slapping his hand on eddie’s shoulder, ‘i was going to george’s but.. well, that’s done,’ expelling all of the breath in his lungs in the most over dramatic sigh.

‘again?’

steve gives him a look, ‘yes again.. i’ll tell you all about it in the morning,’ he sounds deflated, like an old balloon, ‘i’m going to bed, enjoy your shitty noodles, don’t do anything i wouldn’t do.’

you glare at him as he backs out of the room, threatening to throw the wooden spoon at his head.

eventually flopping down onto the sofa with eddie, the pathetic bowl of noodles in your lap, ‘sorry.. it’s kinda shit,’ prodding your fork into the pitiful meal.

‘noodles are actually my favourite food,’ smiling as he digs in.

you appreciate it, even if it was total bullshit.

‘how was your day?’ he asks, eyebrows quirking up as you exhale rather dramatically, ‘not great then?’

you chuckle quietly, ‘not really..’ shrugging, ‘both of my bosses are assholes, i hate my job- jobs, and i have this.. fucking column to write if i want a permanent one.. there’s fifteen of us all going for the same position,’ covering your mouth as you’re well aware it’s probably highly unattractive to babble on with noodles in your mouth.

‘well shit.. i mean, if you wanna rant, i can listen and offer shitty advice,’ a short, breathy laugh leaving his mouth.

so you do. you tell him everything, rambling on about your dickhead boss and how you’d expect a much better wage for slaving over a bunch of established journalists, practically doing their jobs for them. going on about being forced to pick up another job or go back home. he listens intently, placing your empty bowls on the coffee table gently.

‘and then my mom..’ you stop yourself, having already dominated the entire conversation, ‘sorry, ive just made you listen to all that..’

‘no, carry on,’ nodding encouragingly, it felt so good to just have someone so interested in what you were saying, even if it was just ranting.

you look at him, genuine interest in his eyes, sighing before you continue, ‘it’s just, since i’ve moved out.. she seems to think i’m earning a shit load more than i am.. she needs the help so i just send it, but it’s just.. frustrating,’ frowning slightly, fiddling with the hole in your tights, ‘sorry.. too much,’ grimacing as you’d just laid bare your problems to an unsuspecting eddie.

he sits for a moment before beginning, ‘do you ever do anything for yourself?’

‘huh?’

‘what do you do that’s just for you?’ watching intently as you shuffle awkwardly.

you shrug, not really able to think of anything, ‘..i don’t know,’ it wasn’t a lie, but it felt awful to say.

‘i think, and this is just my opinion so ignore it if you want.. but i think you should stop living for other people, and start doing things for you,’ he shrugs, ‘like i said, that’s just my opinion.’

you ponder for a second, your idea of a fun time is getting to go to bed before midnight. sometimes you’d indulge in a little marijuana if it was a particularly bad day or had any spare money at the end of the week. that was about it. you didn’t really have time for all of the things he and steve would do for fun, pretentious clubs and the like. hell, you didn’t have the money for that shit.

‘i don’t think i know how.. i’ve helped my mom since my dad left.. and it’s not like i can just stop working or get a new job, like.. i have to or i’ll be homeless,’ chuckling slightly though the words just sounded depressing coming from your mouth.

‘it doesn’t mean you have to stop doing those things.. just.. do something for you too,’ lips curling into a small smile, it was genuine advice and you appreciated it but you weren’t sure your idea of enjoying yourself was the same as his.

‘okay.. how? tell me how to have fun,’ turning to face him properly, legs pulled under yourself, watching as he thinks for a second.

‘i could show you,’ his smile slowly turning into a soft smirk and you’re sure you know where this is going next.

‘okay,’ it comes out quieter than expected, swallowing as his eyes never leave yours, his hand slides across the back of the couch cushions.

his face now mere inches from yours, lips parted slightly as his eyes flit to your lips. you instinctively lean in, eyes fluttering closed, his breath tickling your cheek.

your nose brushes against his before your lips meet, hesitant to make initial contact. this would mean that you couldn’t just string him along on text, it would become something.

his lips press against yours before you can make the first move, pulling you closer by the neck, hand resting on the bare skin.

you sigh softly when they meet properly, it’d been a good while since you’d done this, now suddenly afraid that you were doing it all wrong. though there wasn’t chance to do much thinking, his lips leading the kiss, moving against yours in a fashion that felt completely natural.

fingertips pressing into your neck, trying desperately to pull you even closer than you were. the feel of his tongue swiping across your bottom lip makes your mouth fall open, allowing full access. you can feel the hint of his smile against your face, pushing his chest to yours.

steve’s door swings open and he stares down the hall at the sight of your faces smushed together, peaking just above the sofa.

‘oh,’ his voice echoes, pulling you apart, blood rushing into your cheeks, not sure how much of that he’d seen, ‘well damn, i didn’t mean to interrupt,’ laughing.

you don’t avert your eyes from your lap, embarrassed to look at your gormless roommate. you can feel the heat soaring in your cheeks, eddie’s fingers ever-so-slowly leaving your neck while he clears his throat.

‘did you want something?’

‘nope.. i’m just gonna-,’ disappearing back into his room with a quickness.

eddie turns to look at you, finding the humour in it all, ‘hey,’ placing his fingers underneath your chin, tilting it upwards to look at him, ‘it’s just steve,’ trying to ease some of your unnecessary embarrassment.

you let out a tiny giggle, nodding along with him, because at the end of the day it was just steve.

‘d’ya wanna stay?’ you ask timidly, blinking at the bambi-eyed man sat in front of you.

he nods quickly, stroking along your jawline with his thumb, soothing and gentle. his sweet, bambi eyes causing those darn butterflies to flap around your stomach again.

spending the night sharing soft kisses in bed, allowing yourself the undeniable feeling of falling for someone that you’d denied yourself for years. giddy as his hands explore the more hidden parts of your body. it wasn’t inherently sexual, but loving and intimate.

falling asleep on his chest, with a grin painted on your face.

you sit cross legged on the couch the next morning, eating the eggs eddie had foraged stolen from steve and very kindly cooked for you.

steve makes an appearance mid-way through the morning, looking disheveled and highly displeased when he realised those were his eggs you had enjoyed.

‘and you didn’t even leave me any? i can’t believe you, both of you.. assholes,’ he whines, coming into the living room with a pout on his face, flopping down into the spare love seat.

eddie offers the nearly demolished plate out to him, ‘here.. i’m finished anyway,’ shaking his head at the grumpy boy.

steve takes the measly piece of toast, ‘oh thanks..’ tucking in to the scraps, pleased with himself.

‘so, you and georgia? over for good or..?’ eddie asks, wanting the full story. getting in there first before steve could mention you two.

‘for good,’ he mumbles, mouth full of toast.

‘no shit,’ eddie exclaims, leaning forward to place the plate on the small coffee table, ‘you ended it or she did?’

mindlessly, you stretch your leg out over eddie’s, tuning into steve’s stupid story. you don’t even realise you’ve done it until he starts mindlessly playing with your leg, running his fingers up and down the smooth skin.

completely tuning out of whatever steve had begun to say, focussing on the way eddie’s eyes followed steve, frowning as he told this elaborate tale of the breakup-not breakup.

you’d found yourself doing that often, gazing at eddie, enamoured with the way his entire face seemed to tell you exactly what he was thinking and feeling.

it didn’t help the way his perfect, plump lips moved and you practically could feel them pressed against your-

‘are you even listening? or are you too busy making kissy faces at eddie?’ steve stops in the middle of his pacing to question you, hands stuck mid-air.

your head snaps to face him, shocked by his direct call out, ‘i- i was listening.. carry on,’ nodding to get him to continue, your cheeks once again flushing with colour.

he narrows his eyes at you before getting on with his spiel, ‘okay so, i told her.. no, no this is it and then she cried.. but i didn’t give in, nope- i left,’ he nods in satisfaction, a smug smile on his face.

from what you’d heard about their situation, he had never been the one to end things. it had always been her. so this must have been a monumental thing, and he was well worth his dues for finally growing some balls and getting rid.

eddie slaps his hand against your calf in celebration, smiling at steve, ‘good for you, y’know she’s bad news.. always has been,’ shrugging, still slightly in disbelief that he had been the one to end it.

‘robin’s gonna be so annoying.. i don’t even wanna hear it,’ shaking his head, ‘but thanks, we’re going out tomorrow, to celebrate,’ pointing at the two of you sat on the couch.

you’re actually ready early for once, sat glancing at the time on your phone. okay, twenty minutes til you needed to leave, a quick lie down on your bed couldn’t hurt, right? hell, you could leave in twenty five and not be late, why not?

you’d said you’d meet the guys at the bar at ten, assuming you’d be finished at nine. but then david had let you go early so you’d gone home to make yourself slightly more presentable. a little power nap couldn’t go wrong. right?

well actually, a lot could go wrong.

you’re only aware that you had dropped off to sleep when a banging at the door jolts you awake. whoever was on the other side sounded frantic, as if they were using their fist to pummel the wood.

you step quickly through the apartment, still disoriented from sleep, only just getting your bearings when you fumble for the lock, opening the door to reveal a worried looking eddie.

‘eddie? wha- what’s going on?’ eyes stinging from the bright hallway lights.

‘jesus chr- you didn’t show up.. i thought something happened,’ sounding relieved, you were confused about what all the fuss was about.

‘i fell asleep,’ realisation setting in, ‘i fell asleep, oh my god.. i’m so sorry,’ your ten minute rest had turned into a two hour long nap, completely missing your meeting time.

your heart pangs with guilt, you’d fucking slept through your first real date and without so much as a text to let him know. he must’ve thought you’d ditched him. or died. he’d definitely thought you’d died.

‘hey.. it’s okay, i just thought something had happened to you,’ giving you a reassuring smile, relieved as you stood in front of him rather than a ditch somewhere, never to be seen again.

‘i am so so sorry.. i didn’t mean to fall asleep i was just resting my eyes i literally lead down for one minute i’m so sorry,’ babbling on, one long run on sentence.

‘it’s okay,’ taking your thrashing hand into his, ‘i promise it’s okay.. okay?’

you exhale, chilling out slightly as his hand clasps yours, ‘i’m basically ready.. we could still go out?’ looking down at your slept-in outfit.

‘do you still wanna go out? you obviously need the sleep.. i don’t mind if you don’t want to,’ fingers rubbing your hands, soothing any possible lingering worries.

‘i- uh, we could just stay in? steve’s not here so..’ shrugging, you weren’t entirely confident that your suggestion had come across the way you’d planned but he nods anyway, smiling as he walks into the apartment.

so you eat pizza in bed, cross-legged with your shitty laptop playing the cheesiest rom-com you could find, much to eddie’s protests, ‘my laptop, my rules.’

but it doesn’t take long and he’s enthralled, eyes glued to the screen while yours stare at him, taking in every detail. the way his eyes crease when he smiles or the soft shadow of stubble across his chin.

‘stop staring at me and watch this stupid movie,’ smirking, not once looking over at you.

your eyes snap to the laptop, cheeks flushing as you’d been caught and rightfully called out for it. finding it hard to even focus on whatever was going on when he was sat mere inches away with that smug look on his face.

‘i was actually looking at.. your hair,’ nodding to yourself, satisfied with your excuse.

‘my hair? what about my hair?’ turning his attention to you who was now pretending to be thoroughly interested in the movie.

‘watch the stupid movie,’ you smile, throwing his own line back at him.

‘no,’ he snaps back quickly, ‘tell me what’s wrong with my hair?’ nudging your arm with his elbow.

you slowly slide your gaze to him, ‘you really wanna know?’

‘i really wanna know.’

‘it’s..’ mouth opening and closing like a fish, finding something to say, ‘curly,’ pleased with your bullshit answer.

his face contorts into pure confusion, before bursting into laughter, ‘shut up,’ lunging over to you, pushing you backwards onto the mattress, moving on top of your body.

your heart pounding a million miles an hour as his face lingers above yours, ‘you can stare at me for as long as you like,’ gaze lowering to your lips, his muscular arms either side of your face, enveloping you in.

you cut the tension first, reaching up to connect your lips, legs instinctively opening to welcome him between them. hands snaking up his arms and coming to rest on his shoulders.

you shudder when his rough hand crawls underneath your shirt, sliding up your waist until it meets your bra. he pulls back just enough to keep your lips lazily connected, looking for permission to touch you properly.

‘i don’t- i haven’t.. in a while,’ nervously gripping onto his shirt, afraid he might laugh at you for being such a shy prude.

‘okay,’ nodding, pressing tender kisses to your lips and jaw, ‘can i?’ hand still lingering just underneath your bra, itching to move up just an inch.

‘mhmm,’ rolling your head back when his lips find their way to the sensitive skin of your neck, finally gripping onto your boob from over the bra.

nibbling and sucking at the nape of your neck, pulling the lacy bra down exposing your nipple to the cold air of your room. you exhale sharply, not quite expecting the sensation of his thumb messing around with your already hard nipple.

‘i want to..’ dotting kisses down to your chest, ‘..make you feel good,’ face lowering from yours, leaving a trail of kisses on your stomach, still palming your breast on the way down.

you can’t respond, words caught in your throat as your melt into his touch, putty in his hands as his lips stop just below your bellow button, looking up for some confirmation to carry on.

‘do you want me to?’ sliding his palm down to the waistband of your jeans.

you nod hurriedly, ‘yeah.. yes,’ peering down to watch him smirk, hooking his fingers into the elastic and pulling the denim down at an excruciatingly slow pace.

your eyes fly to the ceiling, not wanting to watch as he pulls your jeans off fully, missing the excitable look on his face when he sees the lacy panties you’d worn. already sodden from his pitiful touch, embarrassed by your excitement, you squeeze your eyes shut.

the panties are next to removed and you can hear him shuffle around, placing your thighs on his shoulders as arms wrap around them, holding you in place.

‘you just tell me if you want me to stop, okay?’ he mumbles, planting gentle, teasing kisses to the inside of your thigh.

‘mmm,’ you hum in response, aching for him to just touch you already.

his tongue travels between your folds, causing your thighs to clench together, essentially trapping him between your legs. this is all the encouragement he needs, repeating the action, fingers making indentations in your skin.

‘you’re.. huh,’ circling his tongue around your clit, finding the perfect spot to have you clinging onto the bedsheets, ‘soaked,’ middle and index finger leaving your thigh to tease your hole, edging their way in.

your whimpers are music to his ears, relishing in the high pitched wail he pulls from you the second his fingers enter. tongue still lapping at your clit, moving in the most unholy manner.

‘holy shit,’ you whine when his fingers curl up inside, pumping in and out painfully slow. balling the cotton sheet in your fist, desperately trying to ground yourself.

he’s relentless, swirling his tongue up and down your folds, paying particular attention to your clit and the way your thighs tightened around his head when he found the sweet, spongy spot inside.

your eyes rolling back into your head at your impending orgasm, pleasure coursing through your stomach, unable to find the words to warn him of what was coming.

he knows when your thighs begin to shake and you clench around his fingers, grinning into your pussy as the most unholy sound escapes your lips, echoing through the tall room.

eddie emerges from between your legs, satisfied with himself, finger tips still digging into the pliant skin of your thighs. watching dutifully as writhe, the evidence of you all over his lips as the glisten in the dim light.

‘you good?’ he asks, carefully pushing himself up to perch above you, leaning on one elbow.

you nod, still trying to get your bearings from the earth-shattering orgasm he’d just given you. blinking up at him when you eventually come back to this earth, his eyes full of lust and wanting.

‘i am happy to do that anytime.. by the way,’ a deep chuckle erupting from his throat, hand coming up to brush the sticky hair from your forehead.

you could feel him in between your bodies, sort of taken aback that he hadn’t even done that for his pleasure, but yours.

‘please,’ you whisper bashfully, suddenly coy before the man who was just between your legs.

‘gladly,’ smiling as your lips connect, the taste of you all over his mouth. it was probably the filthiest thing you’d ever done, but you enjoyed it, hell, you were proud of it.

you’re sweating bullets on the subway, clinging onto the bag on your shoulder. it’d be the first time you were staying at eddie’s house, solidifying that this wasn’t just a casual, situational thing.

it wasn’t like you’d never shared a bed or even been intimate for christ’s sake. staying at his place just sorta felt like the next step to being something else.

you’re almost trembling when you lift your hand to knock, checking that you’d got the right place for the fourth time.

when the door opens you’re relieved to see eddie on the other side, already grinning and rushing you inside, taking your bag from your clutch.

it was nothing like you’d imagined, slightly cluttered but with much more character than yours and steve’s apartment had. he’d made it his home, even with a roommate.

‘d’you find it alright? feels weird seeing you here,’ chuckling awkwardly, watching as you glance around the room, noticing the guitar leant up against the wall.

‘yeah.. sorry, you play?’ surprised that you didn’t know this about him, shocked that he had never bought it up.

‘ahh.. yeah, used to be in a band,’ his hand rubbing on the back of his neck, all bashful. you loved it, normally so confident and assured in himself that seeing him practically shrink in front of you was so alien.

‘and you didn’t tell me? i thought we were friends,’ it sounds weird to say but technically it was true, not entirely sure where you stood in terms of your relationship status.

‘we’re friends? did i just get friendzoned?’ his lips curling into a smile, the confident eddie rushing back.

‘well,’ you struggle with words, ‘as far as i’m aware.. we’re just friends,’ hoping that it didn’t seem like you were deliberately dropping hints. even though you totally were.

he saunters closer, ‘what’re you saying?’ smile growing, leering down at you with those sickening eyes.

you shake your head, unable to contain your own grin, ‘nothin’,’ craning your head up to look at him properly, the creases by his eyes only increasing.

‘hmm.. kinda seems like you were,’ teasing in the way he spoke, words dripping with sarcasm.

‘okay, so we’re not friends.. what are we then?’

‘well, you could be my girlfriend? does that sound better?’ his hand hovering over your waist, not wanting to preemptively celebrate in case he had got this completely wrong.

‘sounds perfect to me,’ fully grinning as one hand clamps down onto your waist, the other tenderly caressing your jaw, pulling your jaw up towards him.

you can feel the warmth of his breath on your forehead as he exhales, ‘thank god you said yes,’ the cold of the ring on his thumb tracing along your jawbone.

you chuckle quietly, ‘don’t be silly,’ pressing your lips to his in a soft kiss, arms coming up to snake around his neck, keeping him as close as can be.

your boyfriend.

eddie had gone to take a shower, leaving you in his bed, in his shirt, grinning away like a mad woman. it’s nauseating how happy you were, stomach bubbling with excitement and slight nervousness.

rolling over to grab your phone from the nightstand, your stomach dropping the second the screen lights up.

five missed calls from mom

two new voicemails

you sit up against the headboard, dialling the voicemail box, already imagining a hundred and one horrible things that may have happened.

hey baby, i uh, i tried to call you but i couldn’t get through.. ross is in the hospital, we’re not sure what it is yet.. please call me when you get this, okay love you

her worried tone sets alarm bells ringing immediately. your little brother had been sick the past couple of weeks, just the flu she’d said.

you don’t even listen to the next voicemail, hopping out of bed while you ring her number directly. the dial tone pissing you off as it rings and rings.

‘hello?’ you rush down the phone the second it connects, trying to shimmy into your jeans one handed.

‘oh my god,’ she breathes down the phone, ‘baby are you okay? i couldn’t get ahold of you.. we’re still waiting on results,’ your mom sighs shakily, you can hear the faint beeping of the hospital in the background.

‘i’m coming home, i-i’ll get the train or something.. wha-what’s wrong with him?’

eddie appears from the bathroom, towel draped around his waist, obviously alarmed by your distressed tone and holding his hand out for you to balance on as you wriggle into your jeans.

‘we’re not sure.. one of the nurses thinks it could be pneumonia, they’re doing some blood work.. how long will it take to get back?’

you weren’t even sure if there were trains at this time of night. maybe you could a bus? or a couple of buses? it was already the best part of an hour to drive, that’s without relying on public transport.

‘i don’t know.. there might be a train, uh- shit,’ rushing around eddie’s room searching for your shoes, ‘i’ll be there as soon as i can, okay? i’ll think of something,’ sliding your feet into your dirty old sneakers.

‘okay baby.. i love you, text me when you know, okay?’

‘okay.. okay, i love you too,’ you mutter into the phone, sliding it into your pocket and looking frantically around the room for your jacket.

‘what’s going on?’ eddie asks, still none the wiser and now dripping water onto the carpet.

‘my brother’s in the hospital.. i need to go home,’ voice shaking, becoming increasingly frustrated at your missing jacket.

‘i’ll drive you,’ he says without hesitation, springing into action.

‘it’s like an hour- i was, i can get the train,’ you rush, watching as he gets changed, a million times calmer than you were.

‘no, i’ll drive.. there’s no trains at this time,’ retrieving a new shirt from the drawer, patting his jeans for his keys.

it’s only then that you stop, everything hitting you all at once. completely overwhelmed by his selflessness and the calming nature he was exuding even in such an intense situation.

the tears spill over onto your cheeks and he’s immediately pulling you into his chest, arms encasing your shaking body as you sob into his clean shirt.

‘hey.. it’s okay, he’s okay.. you’re okay,’ large hand rubbing circles on your back, soothing you as you attempt to catch your breath.

you nod into his chest, collecting yourself just enough to pull away, anxious to get there and see your little brother.

‘i know,’ you babble, not believing the words coming out of your mouth, ‘are you sure? i’m sure there’s a bus..’

‘i’m sure,’ he nods, ‘you ready?’

‘mhm,’ you squeak, ‘my jacket..’ looking around aimlessly.

but he already knows where it is, obviously. grabbing the leather jacket and swinging it over your shoulders as he leads the way out of the door and to his van.

the journey is awful. your mind racing over every single possibility. guilt making your stomach churn, feeling as selfish as ever because you weren’t there when they needed you.

eddie’s hand creeps over to rest on your knee and it helps for a moment, knowing that he was there even in your self-loathing, pathetic state.

he most definitely broke a number of laws getting to the hospital but you couldn’t care less. screeching into the parking lot and into a space. you barely give him time to turn the engine off before jumping out and speeding into the hospital.

the lady at the desk is as helpful as possible, directing you to the intensive care unit with some vague directions.

you make it there eventually, eddie trailing behind as you ask another doctor where they were. he takes you to a room on the corner, opening the door to reveal your mom curled up on the chair and your frail looking brother asleep in the bed.

she looks up, relief washing over her face as you step into the room, bounding over to her and pulling her into a tight hug. squeezing your eyes shut so to not let the tears fall.

she smelt like home. like all the comforts you’d missed in the city. warmth and peace.

her hands clutch your shoulders, pulling you apart, ‘he’s okay.. he’s okay, it’s a bad bout of pneumonia but he’s okay,’ smiling ever-so-slightly, ‘we’re just waiting for him to wake up now.’

you can feel the air expel from your lungs, you weren’t even aware that you’d been holding your breath until it all came out.

‘oh my god,’ you sigh, pulling her back into your arms, ‘he’s not gonna die..’ really only saying it to confirm it yourself.

she chuckles tearfully, ‘no baby..’ her eyes move to eddie who was lingering by the door, pulling away once again, ‘sorry.. who’s this?’ completely bewildered by the long haired stranger stood before her.

‘oh uh, this is eddie, my.. boyfriend,’ watching as he offers his hand out for her to shake, ‘he drove me here,’ smiling at the sight of them even interacting.

‘hello.. eddie,’ shaking his hand before glancing back at your shirt, ‘..boyfriend,’ she utters to herself. you could decipher the exact look in her eye and will most definitely collar you later for not telling her about him.

he gives her a tiny, tight lipped smile, he’d never have imagined meeting your mom tonight but here we are.

you take her attention back before she can probe him, ‘have you eaten? why don’t you go and get some sleep and we can wait until he wakes up? i’ll call you as soon as he does.’

she pauses before nodding once, ‘yeah.. yeah,’ narrowing her eyes, ‘the minute he wakes up, okay?’ squeezing your arm, affirming that she was just so grateful for you being here.

she collects her things, reiterating that her phone will be on loudspeaker and you must call as soon as his eyes open. she’d be back at seven if you hadn’t called.

giving eddie another polite smile and a quick thank you before leaving. she’d looked exhausted and slightly dazed, probably thankful now that you were here to watch over ross.

‘sorry ‘bout my mom..’ you smile, ‘you don’t have to stay.. if you need to get back, i’ll be okay,’ he’d already done so much for you, asking him to stay would be too much. even if you were dreading being here all on your own.

‘i’m staying, as long as that’s alright with you?’ cocking his eyebrow, taking a seat on the uncomfortable, brown hospital chairs, settling in for what was going to be a long night.

you nod quickly, ‘of course,’ choosing to perch on the side of your brothers bed, trying your hardest to swallow the growing lump in your throat.

he looked sick. pale and sweaty with tubes coming out of every part of him. it didn’t matter though. he was going to be okay.

your head rests on eddie’s lap, his fingers playing with your hair as you doze in and out of sleep. too anxious to properly rest. the nose of the machines doing you no favours.

‘shit,’ you exclaim, your other responsibilities had just dawned on you. it was deadline day and your final column was stuck, wedged in a bag on eddie’s bedroom floor.

‘hmm?’ he hums, shuffling as you’d startled him from his daze.

‘my column..’ you shake your head, it didn’t matter, not really. not when your brother was still stuck in here, god knows how many tubes coming out of his body.

‘what about it?’

you exhale softly, temple brushing against the rough denim of his jeans, ‘it’s due today.. it doesn’t matter,’ shrugging, accepting the loss.

‘when?’ he asks, fingers still weaving through your hair.

‘at five,’ the columnist position disappearing from in front of your eyes, ‘it’s okay.. i’m sure there’ll be another job.. somewhere,’ trying to hide the disappointment in your voice.

frankly, you’d be lucky if you had a job at this point. simmon’s wouldn’t keep you on if you didn’t turn up tomorrow night and the internship had finished.

‘have you finished it?’ adjusting in the seat, tilting your head up towards him.

you nod, swallowing as you’re sure you can guess what he’s going to say next. there’s not a chance you’d let him drive back just to hand in your stupid column.

‘i’ll take it, you just gotta tell me what and where to go,’ lips twitching into a soft smile, massaging your cheek with his thumb.

‘no, i can’t ask you to do that,’ jutting your bottom lip out.

‘you didn’t, i offered.. it’s different.’

you pause, stomach fluttering and all you can do it nod. brain turning to mush as his eyes study your face, the slight curve of his pretty pink lips was entrancing. snapping back to reality when you remembered where you were.

‘i’ll go when your mom comes back, yeah?’

‘if you’re sure.. it’s in my bag in your room, i can text you the address.. you really don’t have to,’ blinking up at him, astounded by his kindness, the pure calmness he exudes.

‘shut up, i want to,’ reassuring you with a smile, brushing the hair off of your forehead.

he goes the second your mom turns up, looking slightly more like herself, giving him a small appreciative hug for staying with you all night.

the inevitable grilling is cut short when ross opens his eyes, coughing and spluttering as he comes to. both of you rushing to his bedside, being ever so gentle to not hurt his already fragile body.

he’s still sleepy, but so grateful to see you at his side. you swear to yourself, and to him to not ever be away from him for so long again. your heart wrenching at his weak smile, clinging to his cold fingers and reaffirming a million times that you were here.

you’re milling around the bright, sterile room. waiting for the nurse to administer the next round of drugs when your phone rings, startling you.

it’s eddie. stepping out of the room into the silent hallway and answering.

‘hello?’ smiling to yourself the second you hear his voice.

‘hey.. did you do it?’

‘yup, all handed in.. she said something about an email? i don’t really know.. but yeah, it’s in,’ you can hear the slam of his van door.

breathing a sigh of relief knowing that maybe all hadn’t been lost, ‘thank you.. thank you so much.’

‘i spoke to.. fuck, i think his name was david? he said to take the week off and he hopes your brother’s okay.’

‘you went to simmon’s? eddie i- you didn’t have to.. thank you,’ your heart bursting through your chest, you weren’t sure that anyone had ever cared about you this much.

‘now.. i’ve got you some clothes, d’you want me to bring them now or i can come later?’ his jury’s jangling in the background.

you want to tell him no, to stop being so kind, to stop making your heart swell with every word, every thoughtful action. but you can’t, instead nodding enthusiastically though he couldn’t see you.

‘you can come now.. thank you, i owe you my life,’ listening to the engine turn on, already on his way back to you.

‘you owe me nothin’.. i’ll be about an hour, okay?’

#eddie munson #eddie munson angst #eddie stranger things #eddie munson x reader #eddie munson stranger things #eddie munson smut #eddie munson x fem!reader smut #eddie munson x y/n #eddie munson x you #modern!eddie munson

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tacitoru · 10 days

Text

Satoru had quickly gotten sick of being referred to by his given name. Satoru, Satoru, Satoru. It wasn’t that he wasn’t used to it - his childhood years in the States had desensitized the shock and indignation at such familiarity right out of him. It was times like after a game, when everybody wanted to chatshit and talk his ear off, or during a press stop, when interviewers led with questions that fueled their preexisting assumptions - it was times like those when he yearned for the staunch politeness of the Japanese language. Longed for the way you could innately keep people at arms length and save face at the same time. That was a luxury he hadn’t realized he had until recently.

Now though, he loves the way his name sounds out of your mouth. Obsessed with it, actually. That, and the punchy little gasp you make every time he slips his cock inside you, never gets old. Satoru cherishes it even more now that you’ve spent so much time apart. It’s been five long years since he’s seen you - you, corporeal, in the flesh and solid beneath his fingertips that itch for their rightful place on your skin each time you pop up in the occasional news article or an errant gossip column.

There was a time, in what seems like a lifetime ago, when you would call out for him in soft, demure tones. Sometimes he misses that immiscible mixture of fear and awe in your voice. Sweet little college student you who trailed after him on hand and foot until he effectively destroyed the pedestal you put him on with both hands. Listening to you now though, the venom laced through each syllable of his name sounds just as sweet as the former - at the very least, you’re saying it.

“Satoru,” you implore, breathless, like using his first name for the first time in years physically takes the wind out of you. That, and you’re still trying to pry off the hand braced against your lower abdomen, only managing to bend his thumb and pinky back with both hands. He can feel the way your stomach expands and contracts beneath his palm with each deep breath you take. “I’m being serious, this isn’t fucking funny.”

“Neither are my feelings,” he pouts, pressing down, adding pressure.

You lock up against the wall of the bathroom stall, silently praying you could morph through the material. The broad expanse of his shoulders and the wide stance of his legs trap you from wiggling too far out of his hold. You avoid eye contact in favor of glaring at the closed toilet lid even as he looms over you, leers down at you. Tell-tale bubbles roll through your stomach. “What happened to a truce?” you ask weakly.

“I got impatient,” he shrugs like he’s talking about a change in the weather and not a last-minute decision to hold you hostage in the bathroom at a friend’s wedding rehearsal. “Besides, isn’t that the best part of being a guest at a wedding? Fucking the other guests?”

You’ve got half a mind to roll your eyes until your captor’s hand on your stomach presses more insistently. “I am not fucking you at Utahime’s wedding.”

“So after the wedding?” he hums, scratching his chin with his free hand. “Technically this is the wedding rehearsal so we could consider this practice for the real thing if you want -,”

“- Satoru -! “

“What? I won’t even put it in all the way, I swear. I’m halfway there just being this close to you again if we’re being honest. Really, I thought I could hold it together at least for tonight, but then the way you were talking to me outside, just - wow, I chubbed up a little when you called me Gojo-san-,”

“Oh, no, fuck!” your groan is about as much as a warning as he gets when you suddenly lurch, keeling over his forearm to flip the toilet lid and wretch into the basin.

fic: pleaser

#gojo x reader #pleaser #gojo satoru #teaser #probasketball!au #nbaplayer!gojo

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blushweddinggowns · 6 months

Text

“I am sorry,” Eddie said for probably the millionth time, cringing at the glare Chrissy was sending his way. She wasn’t nuclear pissed but she was pissed, “Don’t look at me like that! You know I’d just be miserable if I went.”

Chrissy sighed, but she didn’t sound very surprised, “I just can’t believe after all that talk, you’re ditching me again.”

Eddie shrugged, sheepishly rubbing the back of his neck. But his mind was already made up, “I’ll owe you twice. But for now I’m staying right here.”

“Yeah, yeah. Cute boy trumps over me, I get it, ” Chrissy joked as she peered over at Steve, “Y’know, you could come with us. It’s only for a few months. And uh, you could bring a friend. Or two.”

It was actually kind of impressive, how fast Steve was able to move to cover Robin’s mouth. The yes was written all over her face, but Steve was ready to be the voice of reason, “Unfortunately, no. Nancy has the BAR exam in a few weeks and Robin has already been enlisted to help her through it.”

“Shame,” Chrissy sighed, laughing when Robin shook Steve’s hand away from her with a glare. But the lack of response made it clear she had no counterpoint. Chrissy went on, her eyes going back to Steve, “But that didn’t explain why you couldn’t go.”

Eddie watched, a little nervous about what he would say. Because while yes, it would be fun to drag Steve around the world on tour with his best friend, Eddie was kind of hoping to keep him to himself awhile longer.

Steve blushed at the invitation, “That’s uh, quite the offer but-”

“But you should pay him if he goes,” Robin said bluntly, nodding Eddie’s way, “Especially if he quits his job for you. Honestly, I think you should reimburse him for the sick days he had to take because of your lying ass-”

Steve slapped her on the arm, his face on fire, “Robin!”

Chrissy just laughed as she watched them, “See? Stuff like this is exactly why I like you!”

Robin flushed at the compliment, but shrugged , “What? I’m just adding some realism to the whirlwind romance in case he fucks you over again.”

Huh. That was kind of a good point. Eddie hadn’t even thought of that. He didn’t know how it looked to literally add his boyfriend on to the payroll but…

“We could do a trust fund kind of thing?” Eddie offered instead, “That might be easier. No strings attached.”

“Irrevocable?” Robin asked, ignoring Steve trying and failing to shut her up again.

“That would be the no strings attached part, yes.”

“Ooh, I like that-”

“He’s not going to pay me to be his boyfriend!” Steve interrupted with a huff, looking between them like they were the ones being unreasonable, “You can’t be serious about this.”

Eddie frowned, “Baby, it wouldn’t be paying you to be my boyfriend. You would get it if you dumped me or not. It would be more like…”

“A thank you for being his boyfriend!” Robin finished for him, “Honestly Steve, it’s the least he can do.”

Eddie nodded with her, “It really is.”

Steve stared at him, eyes wide, “Holy shit, you are literally insane. You are a crazy person.”

“Get used to that,” Chrissy sighed as she picked up her bag, “Now I gotta go. Hug me.”

Eddie did just that, sweeping her up into a big hug, one that took her clear off the ground. She laughed as he squeezed her, giving Eddie a quick kiss on the cheek goodbye. She did the same to Steve, though both of them politely looked away when she took things a little further with Robin. Even Eddie was a little surprised. He knew Chirssy could move fast but this seemed a little too… loving. Even for her.

“I’ll call you when I get back. Just text me when Nancy gets off work,” She said quietly after she stepped back from her, a light flush to her cheeks, “I hope I can see you both again. It was fun.”

“I-yeah. Definitely,” Robin stuttered out, “Will do that. Yes.”

They all waved goodbye, watching her disappear into the airport before turning back for the car.

“So,” Robin said as she got back into the backseat, “Trust fund. How do we make that happen?”

Steve groaned, covering his eyes with his hand, “Please stop trying to make me into an escort, Robin.”

“Oh my god, has love made you stupid?” Robin asked as she rolled her eyes, “He’s a millionaire who fucked you over. Why shouldn’t you get any money?”

“Babe, for the love of god shut the fuck up. He’s right here.”

“I don’t mind,” Eddie chimed in as he started the engine, “Besides, I think she’s right. It is the least I can do. I just don’t want to make you uncomfortable-

“That isn’t the insane part!” Steve interrupted, pinching the bridge of his nose as he took a deep breath, “Both of you… just stop talking.”

Eddie sighed but listened, glancing in the rearview for Robin’s reaction. She didn’t look pleased either, but when she caught his eye she perked up.

Text me about it, Robin mouthed at him through the mirror.

I will, Eddie mouthed back, snapping his mouth back closed when Steve glanced at him.

Eddie didn’t think much of it after that. He dropped Robin and Steve off, texted her about the idea on and off throughout the day, checked in on Chrissy when she made it home, then picked Steve up from work. He made him dinner, listened as he talked about his shift, and then pulled him into his lap for some bad reality television.

It was an incredibly normal night, one that Eddie still couldn’t believe he got to keep. But fuck, was he grateful.

“Hey, baby?” Steve said around a half-hour in, his voice sleepy and adorable.

Eddie couldn’t help but kiss his forehead, smiling down at him, “Yeah?”

“Can I see your phone?” Steve sweetly asked.

“Sure,” Eddie said, handing it right off to him. He had nothing to hide, not anymore. He was even back to the convenience of having one phone, his stupid extra donated to charity the day after he got Steve back. Besides, it made sense for Steve to have the code anyway, it was his birthday after all. He didn’t even think about it as Steve unlocked it.

He probably should have thought about it.

“I fucking knew it,” Steve groaned before shoving the phone right back into his face, “What’s this?”

Eddie blinked at him, biting his lip as he was confronted with a pretty indepth trust plan with Robin. Eddie shrugged at him, guilty as charged when he answered, “You just told us to stop talking then. You never said we couldn’t bring it up later.”

from the next chapter of this fic

#steddie #steve harrington #eddie munson #rockstar eddie munson #steddie fic #steddie ficlet #damn your love damn your lies #fic preview #buckingham #plus nancy #idk the name there

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arabellasleopardcoat · 1 year

Note

Dry-humping with Helaena?

Golden Chains (Helaena Targaryen x Reader)

Summary: Helaena isn't yours, but you are always hers.

Warnings: Angst. Implied sex between Helaena and Aegon, Implied SA? To be safe, smut.

A/N: I love Helaena so much, but this was a hard prompt to write. I hope I did it justice.

Helaena sends for you, unexpectedly. The Princess, your Princess, awaits you in her rooms. It’s late. The Red Keep’s halls are empty, except for the guards who give you cheerful waves.

You like it here. It’s a good job. No one bothers you, and not only do you have food and boarding, but also a small stipend. Your Princess, as kind as she is, sometimes slips you little trinkets. A slice of cake here, an embroidery handkerchief there.

In normal circumstances, you would be elated to see that she is calling you. But this late? It can only mean one thing.

As you open the doors to her bedchambers, you try to remain unmoved. After all, the Prince is still there. He always looks a bit sick when he does. Perhaps it’s regret, or perhaps it’s the fact there is a witness there to see exactly what they have done.

It’s a testament of Aegon’s sadness that he doesn’t even give you a lustful glance. Other times, when you pass him in the corridors, he smirks and makes crude remarks. He knows exactly what goes on between you and his sister wife, and he never fails to ask you to join him in bed, too.

He tries to do right by her, in a twisted way. Despite having plenty of evidence to get you fired and probably executed, Aegon never makes a move to separate you from Helaena. You wonder if he hurts as much as she does. Likely. Knowing Aegon, he is only getting started for the night. His next stop will be the Street of Silk, where he will try to get rid of the memory of his wife at any cost.

You shake your head, trying to vanish those thoughts. Aegon is not your concern. He has the other Prince, and numerous guards for that. Helaena has no one but you. Not even her mother could come and face her, in nights like these.

Why would she, out of all people, force her into this marriage? You doubted Queen Alicent’s marriage was more pleasant. Yet instead of marrying Helaena to someone else, she had tied together two of her children, who were clearly unhappy.

Duty. The death of all love, it seemed. Even the maternal kind.

Helaena looks small, huddled among the bed covers. Her eyes are vacantly staring at the ceiling, arms limp and outstretched at her sides. If it were not for the rapid movement her chest makes as she inhales and exhales, you would think she is a statue.

“Princess, what do you need? Shall I run you a bath?” You keep your voice soft and unhurried, as not to startle her. You do not approach her further.

Helaena lifts her head from the pillow. Her expression is cold. “’Tis the burden of every noblewoman” She had said to you once, as you poured water down her back. “Nothing to be done about it.”

It broke your heart then. It breaks your heart now, that you cannot help her. Baths are a poor consolation for what she has to endure.

You don’t move. Helaena stares.

“Will you come here?” Helaena finally asks, throwing her covers down. She is dressed as always, in a thin sleeping shift, without lace or any of the frills usually added to entice reluctant husbands. You know she has issues with the textures, sometimes. That what to you is a normal touch, to her feels wrong.

You approach her as soon as she bids you. She doesn’t like to wait. Without needing to be told to, you sit on the edge of the bed.

“I need…” The Princess blushes, all sweet. You feel the urge to smile. Even if suffering, she is never less than polite. “Could you? Um. I… I feel… My husband has left me… Unsatisfied again. I need… I’m burning up.”

“Would a cold bath suffice, or do you wish for me to…?” You don’t dare finish the sentence, just as she doesn’t dare fully ask for what she needs. Perhaps, if not spoken aloud, you can pretend the circumstances are different.

“Please?” The Princess asks, looking tearful. You nod, kneeling on the bed.

“Do you want my…"

“Your thigh.”

The unexpected. At last. You pop one of your hips slightly forward, so your knee juts out just so. Helaena smiles between the tears and pulls you into a kiss.

Against her mouth, you breathe heavily. You do not touch her. Not from fear, no. Because on nights like these, she can’t stand anybody’s touch. And you do not mind it.

This arrangement between the two of you had started when you started serving the Targaryens. Young, and of a similar age to Princess Helaena, you had been designated as her maid after the old one got fired. It meant many things, in practice. You had to supervise her children, the sweet young twins. Manage her daily schedule. Make sure her rooms are kept tidy and neat, help her dress. If Princesses were allowed to have a Hand, that would be what you were to Helaena.

At the same time, you knew you were more. You doubted the Lord Hand cared for King Viserys as you did for your Princess. Spending so much time with someone forced you to have opinions on them, and while you knew little of servitude, with the Red Keep being your first job, you knew she was a good mistress.

Helaena was odd. Peculiar. Most maids couldn’t stand her, Queen Alicent had explained, as she gave you the breakdown of your daily duties. Loud noises upset her, the same with certain textures and some foods. Helaena is very picky about what to eat, and she wants everything done in the exact fashion every day. You had thought at first Helaena was a terror, but soon came to realize it was not on a whim. She needed her routines.

That was why visits from her husband were so disruptive and upsetting. Prince Aegon was unpredictable, as many drunks were. Some nights, he would come to her chambers nearly unconscious. Other nights, he would be in a boisterous good mood. Angry, some days. And he took all of those on her.

He was not a good lover, you had heard. Another maid, one in charge of the children, had told you her predecessor had left because the Prince had made advances towards her. Advances so bad, she had to drink moon tea after, supplied by the very hand of the Queen. Aegon was prone to taking women by force, it seemed, because each time he visited Helaena, she crumbled like a house of cards.

You wondered what that must be like. You were uncertain if she felt like she was doing her duty to the realm, or disgusted by the fact that it was her sibling. Her body seemed to respond well to him, so you guessed he had some care for his Lady Wife he didn’t display towards others. Not enough, in your opinion. Because Helaena always felt unsatisfied after.

And as her Hand, it was you who had to fix it. It had started one night, as she had begged you for a cold bath to cool her blood. Despite the strange request, you had obeyed. And as your Princess sat down, shivering and sniffling for the cold water you poured down her back, she had leaned in and kissed you.

One look at those big, pleading blue eyes, and you were a goner. The Faith of the Seven said it was a sin to lay with another woman. Yet, you didn’t agree. You were not a woman of letters, to be able to read the Seven Pointed Star, but how could something that felt so good be a sin? To you, it was another way of serving your lady. And you had heard at the Sept, once, that a servant must love her Queen. What was the harm in loving Helaena a little earlier?

Some nights, Helaena wanted to please you, too. She brought you joy so great it made you scream and cry. What could be closer to the Seven Heavens than this? Your body tensing like the string of a bow under her skillful hands, so used to embroidering and painting. Her hands, her hands, how you loved them. For what they did to you, for what they taught you to do to her. Guiding yours towards her center, as you worshiped the curve of her hips, her breasts, you felt you were kissing the statue of the Mother herself.

But other nights, like these, she couldn’t stand the touch of your hands. It was too much for her and not enough, and she was burning up, mouth parting in the sweetest of ecstasies. Ready for the taking of a man who didn’t care to bring her joy. And hurting. Hurting so much, she had no option but to lick her wounds. She was too proud to do so in front of a servant, a Targaryen despite her sweetness. So she took selfishly from your body, again and again.

Not pleasure. No. It was a cruel, cruel game. She left you all hot and bothered, chasing her joy. Despite it, you loved her like this, too. Taking what she deserved, as the kindest, sweetest Princess of the realm. It made you proud. Here was something Prince Aegon, despite his blood and titles, couldn't give her. You could. You could because your love was not selfish. If she asked, you would break time and time again under her. You would withstand the harshest punishments, if you got her to yourself once more. If it meant not sharing her.

Helaena shifted on the bed, to straddle your thigh. Her nightgown remained in place, as did your dress and apron. Her hands shyly wrapped around your shoulders, eyes fixated on somewhere far away. Never yours.

Her hips rolled against your leg.

“Like this. Oh… Just like this.” In the sweetest, sweetest whisper. You placed a hesitant hand on her waist. Trying to help her hips find a rhythm, but she bated it away, pouting.

Cheeks flushed. A deliciously dark expression. Sinful. So it was that kind of night. She only wanted to take, take, take. Not be given.

Your leg started to cramp. You didn’t dare move. Not when it would mean losing this. The view of your Princess using you as she would any other tool. Taking her pleasure of your body, as her husband had done from hers.

Did it help? You wanted to ask, after these nights. But you never did. Helaena didn’t like talking. She was reserved. Tuned inwards instead of outwards, as your mother used to say. Feelings were a complex topic to her, but again, to whom weren’t?

Other maids said she was weird. Fey when she spoke, unable to look them in the eyes. You guessed they never saw her like this. Glorious. Sweet. The sweetest. There was a reason the realm loved this Princess of yours.

Other nights, when you two were together without Aegon’s shadows, you allowed yourself to dream. Of asking her to run away with you, of being able to call her fully yours. You never asked. You knew her too well. Helaena was a faithful mother and wife, and much too kind. It would destroy her family.

Sometimes, you thought that was not the real reason. You never asked her because you were afraid she wouldn’t understand. You heard once that when birds were raised in cages, and they escaped, they never survived more than a few days. They weren’t used to freedom and once granted, they didn’t know what to do with it. So they withered away.

Her hips stuttered, little punched out sobs becoming harder to contain. You tensed the muscles of your leg, hoping to aid her along. Helaena rutted against you, harder, faster. Mouth sweetly searching yours, kissing your cheek each time she missed. Your hands didn’t move.

Perhaps, in another world, you two could have been together. A world where your love was not forbidden, a world when everyone could love who they pleased. Where you could scream all your joy when Helaena touched you. But as she tensed against you, mouth parting to scream, you had to kiss her to muffle it. This was not that world. It would never be.

#helaena targaryen x reader #helaena targaryen x you #helaena targaryen #aegon x helaena #unfortunately #cristi's bingo #helaena targaryen smut #helaena smut #helaena x reader #house of the dragon fanfic #house of the dragon #helena targaryen #helena targaryen x reader #haelena targaryen #haelena targaryen x reader #a song of ice and fire #asoif fanfic

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drabbles-mc · 2 years

Text

Better Than Him

Angel Reyes x F!Reader

Summary: When your boyfriend bails last-minute on yet another date night, you call the first person you can think of to commiserate with.

Warnings: 18+, smut, cheating, language, alcohol

Word Count: 6.7k (oops)

A/N: Don't ask me how I ended up writing almost 7k of debauchery and filth for Angel. I don't know. I drank some wine and this happened. I feel like it should go without saying, but I'll still say it: don't cheat on your partners, y'all. It's only okay and sexy for fictional people to do. 😂😌

Angel Reyes Taglist: @buckybarneshairpullingkink @lilacyennefer @bport76 @rosieposie0624 @queenbeered @littlekittymeow @thesandbeneathmytoes @meadowofsinfulthoughts @garbinge @kelpies-shed @beardburnsupersoldiers @louisianalady @gemini0410 @frattsparty @chibsytelford @yourwonkywriter @amorestevens @enjoy-the-destruction @withmyteeth @winchestershiresauce @nessamc @narcolini @mijagif @choochoo284 @fanfic-n-tabulous @artemiseamoon @justazzi (If you want to be added to any of my taglists, please let me know!)

You were laying on your couch in the living room, slouched down so far that you knew it was going to give you neck issues if you stayed in that position for too much longer. Your chin was tucked against your chest by default. The television was playing in the background, the same sitcom on that you’d watched front to back more times than you could count. You weren’t even really listening to it, though. It was just white noise.

Your phone was propped up against your chest, the picture of you and your boyfriend on your home screen doing nothing but mocking you at this point. You exhaled a deep, exasperated sigh as your finger hovered over the Messages app at the bottom of your screen. It was a stupid idea, but you still opened the app. Nothing good was gonna come of it, but you still scrolled down to your text message conversation with Angel.

The last exchange between the two of you had been him inviting you to the clubhouse, and you politely blowing him off because you were going to have date night with your boyfriend. But now your boyfriend was out doing god knows what and you were lying on your couch, all dressed up with no place to go. Your heels mocked you from the floor, same with the hem of your skirt sliding farther up your leg as you crossed and uncrossed them. All the effort and for what?

Despite knowing better, you hit the call button at the top of the screen. You hit speaker on the first ring, not wanting to even put the effort forth at this point to lift and hold the phone to your ear. Sad, sure. Borderline pathetic, maybe. But you weren’t given the time to spiral into your thoughts about it too much.

“You change your mind about the party?” Not even a greeting. Just loud background conversations and Angel getting straight to the point.

“No,” you replied in the loudest mumble you could manage.

“Wait, where are you? Why…why are you calling me?”

“Because I’m bored.”

The noise on the other end of the line decreased drastically, and you could only imagine that it was because Angel stepped outside to finish the phone call. “Thought tonight was date night or whatever?”

“It was.” You hated how bummed you sounded about it.

“Oh, fuck.” He sighed and you could picture the look on his face. “He, god, he fuckin’ bail? Again?”

You groaned. “The again was not needed, Angel.”

“Neither is all his bullshit.” He paused for a beat. “C’mon, dulce, I’ve been tellin’ you for a minute that you don’t need this dude.”

“I don’t wanna hear it,” you argued, but there was no real anger in your voice. Even saying you were annoyed with him was an overreach. You knew he was right.

“What do you wanna hear then, hm?” His voice was right back to its usual slick, flirtatious tone.

You rolled your eyes and tried to ignore how much you enjoyed listening to him talk to you like that. You dragged your hand down your face, knowing that this was your last chance to be smart and get out of the conversation unscathed. But you were sick of being the smart one.

“You wanna come over?”

He laughed. “You want me to leave a party to go come and watch you mope about your shitty boyfriend?”

It got you to smile. “Yea.”

He let out another laugh and you couldn’t help but to picture the way that he was probably shaking his head, looking up at the sky knowing that he was going to say yes but he didn’t want to give you an easy time about it. He never wanted to give you an easy time about anything.

He sucked his teeth. “Fine. Be there in twenty.”

“This is why they call you Angel.”

He chuckled. “Shut up.” He paused. “I’ll see you soon.”

It wasn’t quite enough to pull you up from the inhuman angle you were laying at on the couch, but you did feel a little better knowing that you weren’t going to be spending the whole night by yourself anymore. “See you soon.”

You hadn’t moved a single inch by the time that you heard his motorcycle pulling up outside your apartment. The only thing that had changed was that now your phone was discarded on your coffee table instead of resting against your chest. You turned your head to look at the door but you made no move to get up and greet him.

The door was only halfway open, Angel wasn’t even inside the door yet and you called over, “That took longer than twenty minutes!”

Without missing a beat he pelted a bag of Sour Patch Kids at you, the candy landing just below where your chin was tucked. “Wasn’t gonna try and bring ice cream on the bike. Settled for the next best thing.” He kicked off his boots once he shut and locked your door. “You’re welcome, by the way.”

“Ice cream doesn’t sound terrible,” you said with a chuckle. You lifted one foot and gestured towards your kitchen. “There’s some in the freezer if you want it.”

Angel rolled his eyes as he walked over, standing alongside the couch right next to you. You looked up at him, his presence more towering than usual as your laid down while he stood. He watched as you tore the corner off the package of your candy.

“You’re not even moping right,” he joked as he reached and pushed on your one knee so it knocked into the other. Neither of you made a comment about the face that it made the hem of your skirt slip up a little higher, but you noticed the way his eyes lingered a beat longer. “Supposed to be curled up in sweatpants and shit after a breakup, aren’t you?”

You tilted your head up to look at him more directly, your chin finally lifting off its resting place on your chest. “Breakup?”

“Yea. You,” he paused , brows coming together, “you broke up with him, right?” Your silence spoke volumes and he couldn’t do anything besides huff and roll his eyes at you. “Come on, you’re fuckin’ kidding me, right?”

“What?” You only sounded defensive because you knew that he was probably about to be right with whatever he was going to say.

“How many times does this guy have to blow you off and treat you like shit before you finally kick him to the curb?”

“Don’t be dramatic,” you said with a shake of your head, not able to look him in the eyes as you ate one of the candies and set the package on the table next to your phone.

“Don’t be stupid,” he retorted.

“Angel!”

“What!” He held his hands out like he was begging you to get up and try something. “How else would you describe it? You’ve,” he scoffed, “you’ve called me stupid for way less.”

“Yea, but I never mean it.”

“Because I’m never being this stupid,” he shot back with a smirk.

Despite your frustration, you found yourself biting back a smile as you rolled your eyes at him. You knew he was right. You should’ve left your boyfriend a long time ago. Consistency with something that wasn’t great felt safer than not having any consistency at all, though.

“Since when are you giving out relationship advice?”

He shrugged with a laugh. “I’m not. I’m givin’ out breakup advice. Dump his ass.”

It got both of you to laugh. For a brief moment, it almost looked like Angel was about to say something else. Instead, though, he turned and headed for your kitchen to grab himself a beer, shedding his kutte along the way. You said sure when he asked if you wanted one too. Even with the television on, you could hear the clattering of the bottlecaps on the countertop. When you heard the slight scraping of the bottles being picked up, clinking against the rings on Angel’s fingers, you finally pushed yourself into a more upright position. You were still somewhat slouched back against the arm of the sofa, but you were at least at a more appropriate angle so you wouldn’t get a permanent kink in your neck.

“Here.” Angel faked like he was going to toss the open bottle to you. You knew that he wouldn’t, but you still flinched to reach and grab it just in case. You hated the laugh that it got out of him, but really you loved it. With one hand free, he tapped your knee lightly. “Quit hogging the couch.”

“It’s my couch, you know,” you said as you pulled your legs in a little closer to you, granting him the space to sit.

“Yea, and you invited me over. So now you gotta share.” He plopped down unceremoniously, immediately putting his feet up on your coffee table.

You were both tuned into the show playing on the television for a couple minutes before you asked, “How was the party?”

He looked over at you, eyebrows raised. “Could’ve shown up and found out for yourself.”

“I didn’t wanna see people,” you said before taking a sip of your beer.

“Oh? And what am I, then?’ he asked with a laugh.

“You’re Angel,” you replied with no hesitation.

He rolled his eyes but there was no denying the grin that was creeping across his face. “Shut up. Don’t gotta sweet-talk me. I’m already here.”

You both chuckled before falling back into comfortable silence. Part of you felt like you should be saying something more. After all, you did ask him to bail on the clubhouse party to come and hang out with you. But it was so comfortable with him like this. Something about knowing that he would turn his back on something like that just so he could show up and do nothing with you helped soothe your bruised ego. Your boyfriend couldn’t manage to show up for date night, but Angel could bail on an entire room full of his MC brothers and girls who would give just about anything to take him home just so he could show up and watch cheesy sitcoms with you. It stung but at the same time it felt good. You knew that that was all you really needed to know about how you should be handling your relationship, but you didn’t want to think about that. That problem would still be there tomorrow. You’d deal with it then.

In between episodes, you leaned over so you could set your beer bottle on the coffee table. As you settled back into the couch, you stretched your legs out again. You draped them across Angel’s lap, not commenting on the action as you did so. Your eyes were trained on the television, but in your peripheral you could see the way that Angel was looking at you. His eyes slowly raked up the exposed skin of your legs, along the rest of your body until he was looking at your face. He watched you for a minute, and you thought that maybe he was going to make a joke, or push your legs off him. But he didn’t.

He leaned so that he had one elbow propped against the arm of the couch, still holding his nearly-empty bottle of beer in that hand. Without looking back over at you, he brought his other hand to rest against your shin. The metal of his rings felt cool against your skin, and you flinched slightly, but you didn’t pull away or say anything to him. He felt the twitch, and rather than pulling away, he wrapped is fingers a little tighter. It wasn’t a tight grip, but it was enough to keep you from pulling away as the warmth from your skin made the metal of his rings more tolerable.

“What were you supposed to be doing tonight, anyway?” Angel asked you out of nowhere.

“Hm?” You pried your eyes away from the television screen to look at him.

“For date night. What were you guys gonna do?”

If someone else had been asking, you would assume that they were just going to rub salt in the wound. And maybe you would’ve thought the same of Angel too, because he could get like that sometimes, but there was something about the pensive look on his face that let you know that that wasn’t the case.

You shrugged as you rested your hands on your stomach. “Nothing crazy. Just dinner and then going somewhere for dancing and drinks.” You paused. “Why?”

He shrugged. “No reason.”

You rolled your eyes with a smile. Nudging his leg lightly with your foot, you said, “Nosey.”

He laughed but didn’t argue because he knew that you were right. “Can he even dance?”

“Can you?” you shot back with a curious look.

“Pfft,” he laughed, “like I’m ever gonna give you that kind of ammunition.”

You let out a hum of amusement before the conversation died off again. The controlled chaos of the TV show playing in the background was the only noise in the entirety of your apartment. It wasn’t out of the ordinary for Angel to be over at your place, for it to just be the two of you. So you wondered why this time you felt like it was the first time the two of you had ever existed in a space alone together. His hand that was steadily creeping up your leg was probably a large part of the root cause, but you couldn’t afford to think about it too much. Give it too much of your mental real estate and you were going to combust.

He didn’t say anything as his fingers began to work in methodical little circles against the muscle of your leg. Never in a million years would you have guessed that Angel was the kind of guy who would voluntarily give a girl a massage, let alone be good at it, but you instantly felt more relaxed as your legs untensed against him. You made a conscious effort to ignore the other feelings bubbling in your chest as he slowly but surely worked his fingers higher up your leg. He wasn’t looking at you, so you weren’t going to look at him. Maybe if it stayed like that, you would be able to keep yourself under control.

His fingers worked through a knot at the top of your calf, and the soft moan that slipped out past your lips was completely involuntary. You immediately froze, not turning to look at him, not saying anything about the sound you’d just made. You were waiting for Angel to say something, make some slick comment, a sexual joke of some kind, but he didn’t. His fingers didn’t stop moving, though, creeping up over your knee and onto your thigh.

You didn’t know how many seconds had passed before you finally decided that it was as safe to look at him as it was ever going to be. You slowly turned your head, your eyes searching for his. You thought that he was already going to be looking at you, waiting to say something. But when you were finally looking at him head-on, his eyes didn’t meet yours. Instead, his gaze was locked onto your legs, eyes slowly raking up the exposed skin, zeroing in like he was trying to see past the fabric of your skirt. It should’ve made you uneasy, should’ve made you want to tell him to get the fuck out of your apartment, but it didn’t.

Taking a slow, deep breath, you forced your body to relax again. The tension started to ebb away, allowing you to melt back into the couch cushions and against Angel. And, if your legs parted a little farther in the process, where was the harm in that.

Even with the television playing in the background, you heard the sharp inhale that he took, his eyes still completely zeroed in on your legs. You found yourself gnawing lightly at your bottom lip, just watching him, studying his reactions to it all. You knew that you definitely shouldn’t have been getting so much enjoyment out of it, but it was too late now.

“You good, Angel?” you asked as you watched his tongue dart across his bottom lip.

He cleared his throat as he nodded, finally dragging his eyes away from your legs so that he was looking at your face. “I’m good.” He paused. “You good?”

You nodded, a satisfied smile creeping across your face before you could stop it. “I’m good.”

There was a long pause, each of you waiting for the other to say something, do something. It felt like a game of chicken but you weren’t quite sure what you were waiting for more, for him to push it farther or for him to pull away completely. Usually you could read him without much of an issue, but this time you really didn’t know what his next move was going to be, if there was going to be one at all.

Then he lifted your legs just slightly. You froze, hating the fact that you were worried that he was going to stand up and leave. You would have no right to ask him to stay, to do any of the things that were currently running through your head. You had a boyfriend for that, supposedly. But he wasn’t here. Angel was.

He didn’t get up to leave, though. Instead, he slid down a little closer to you on the couch before draping your legs over his again. You were smiling before you even knew what you were doing. His hands rested easily on your knees, fingers pressing against you lightly for a moment before sliding up onto your thighs. He applied the same pressure he had before, still not saying anything more as he kept traveling slowly further and further towards the raised hem of your skirt.

When he finally reached it, your breath got caught in your throat as you waited to see what he was going to do next. He toyed with the hem of it, sliding the smooth, black fabric between his fingers. You were expecting him to slide his hands completely underneath it, for him to push it the rest of the way up your thighs. You were still holding your breath in anticipation, studying even the slightest shifts in his expression.

So imagine your disappointment when he tugged it down, letting it rest back in its rightful place covering up the majority of your thighs. You felt a little sick to your stomach over the fact that you were disappointed by that at all, but it was too late to take the feeling back now. He didn’t take his hands off of you at least, eyes still traveling up and down your body like he was trying to put together the pieces of a puzzle.

“Angel?”

His eyes snapped up to yours. “Yea?”

“Can you keep doing that?” you asked, your tone innocent enough. “Feels good.”

He swallowed hard, seeming shaken for the first time all night. But he nodded, a wordless agreement as he let his fingers press firmly, purposefully against the skin and muscles of your thighs. Your eyes drifted shut, soaking up the sensation, letting yourself get lost in the thoughts that you most definitely shouldn’t have been having. The disappointment of your canceled date night was the furthest thing from your mind now.

You didn’t even flinch when he pushed your skirt back up. Whatever shred of decency he’d been trying to have was tossed out the window the second you asked him to keep touching you like that. He didn’t know why he was tempting fate the way he was but he was too invested now to back down.

You felt him shifting on the couch, but your brain was too deep in other thoughts to really think about what it meant. You vaguely registered the fact that he was closer to you now, able to feel the denim of his jeans against the backs of your thighs. Your eyes were still closed, unable to see the way that he was looking at you like a starved animal who had managed to find itself a good meal. His teeth were digging into his bottom lip as he tried to exercise a little self-restraint. There was so much that he wanted to say to you, do to you, but with every passing second it all felt like it was turning more and more into a sick joke.

He inhaled slowly through his nose, gearing himself up for whatever your reaction was going to be to what he did next. You’d either let him, or he was going to get caught across the cheek with a mean right hand. At this point, he was willing to take the risk because his heart was pounding inside his chest and he couldn’t walk away without knowing.

His hands slipped underneath your skirt, ghosting over the tops of your thighs. You gasped when you felt the tips of his fingers brushing against the lace of your panties, right at the juncture where your legs met your hips. That’s what got you to finally open your eyes. You lifted your head off the arm of the couch, your mouth slightly open as you looked at Angel. You could see the deep rise and fall of his chest, and he could see the way yours was doing the same.

“I can stop,” his voice had a tone that you’d never heard before and it sent a wave of shivers over your body. When you didn’t say anything in response, didn’t make any type of move to encourage or discourage him, he said, “You want me to?”

You shook your head, your voice coming out small in a way you hadn’t intended it to. “No. Don’t…don’t stop.”

With what seemed like an effortless motion, he shifted so that he was kneeling, facing you slotted between your legs. Spreading his hands over your thighs, he pulled you down so your back laid flat against the couch cushions. He pushed your skirt up, exposing your thighs and panties in the same movement. He heard the shuddered breath you let out as his hands continued to run up and down your thighs, studying you as he tried to figure out what his next move was going to be.

“What’re we doin’ here, mi dulce?” he asked, his voice low.

Your heart was about to burst out of your chest, legs already on the brink of shaking when he hadn’t even really touched you yet. “Whatever you want.”

He licked his bottom lip. “You mean that?”

You managed a nod even though your brain was completely muddled with the possibilities of what Angel wanted to do to you. “I do.”

“This,” he said slowly as his hands crept back towards your hips, “is a bad idea.”

“I know,” you admitted. “I don’t care.”

He huffed out a quiet laugh, not needing anymore encouragement from you as he looped his fingers into the waistband of your underwear and started to pull them down your legs. You lifted your feet off the couch cushion, anything to make it easier for him to get them off of you faster. You were expecting him to toss them aside, but instead he tucked them into the back pocket of his jeans. Later, tomorrow, next week, whenever he thought back on whatever this was about to turn into and he was sure it was a dream, he’d have proof that it wasn’t.

Then his hands quickly ran up your shins and thighs again. This time he moved the rest of his body so that he was hovering over you, your legs loosely draping themselves around him as he set one hand on the arm of the sofa, bracing himself above you. His pupils were blown out like you’d never seen them before as his other hand gripped tighter onto your thigh.

“You’re fuckin’ beautiful,” he rasped out.

It was the closest you ever got to having an orgasm just from the sound of someone’s voice. You whispered a soft, embarrassingly needy, “Fuck,” as you kept your eyes locked on his.

His hand crept from your thigh until it landed in between your legs. You gasped, biting back a whine as he trailed his fingers along your folds with a featherlight touch. Enough for you to feel him there, but not enough to get what you really wanted.

A smirk painted over his features as he applied just a little more pressure. “If you’re this wet already,” he leaned down so that his lips were right next to your ear, “I don’t know if you can really handle me, querida. I haven’t even started yet.”

The moan that came out of you wasn’t planned, but you couldn’t stop it. Your eyes fluttered for a second as his words washed over you but finally you were able to focus on him again. “Let me try.”

The smile on his face was sinful as he leaned down, attaching his lips to yours. Your hands immediately interlocked against the back of his neck, not allowing him the opportunity to pull away now that you had him. You’d thought about what it would be like to kiss Angel more than you cared to admit. It wasn’t something you were exactly proud of, but given the situation you’d put yourself in now, thoughts were the least of your worries.

He tasted like the beer he’d taken from your fridge, like the cigarette he’d probably smoked at the clubhouse before leaving to come and see you. His tongue moving against yours felt like heaven. His teeth nipped at your bottom lip as your fingers slid up and into the short hair above the nape of his neck.

While he was pulling the air from your lungs with the way he was kissing you, his fingers slid up and down your folds, slicking themselves with your wetness and teasing you for just another moment longer before he slowly slid them into you. The moan you let out was something out of Angel’s wildest, wettest dreams. He swallowed the sound eagerly as you kept your lips pressed to his.

You pulled your lips off his only so that you could say his name. It came out like a pant as you pulled him closer to you, moaning quietly into the crook of his neck. His fingers continued to work you over, rendering you an absolute mess as you clawed at his back through the fabric of his shirt.

“How’s that feel?” he murmured against your ear.

You forced your brain to work well enough to string together the words, “So fucking good.”

“How good?” He kissed right below your ear. “Better than him?”

“Angel,” your voice was somewhere between a plea and a warning.

You felt the slight vibration, the hum of his quiet laughter. “You can tell me.”

You gasped as he sped up his rhythm. “Fuck, Angel.”

“C’mon, dulce,” he coaxed, “tell me.” When you didn’t say anything, he stilled his movements, smirking at the whine you let out. “If I’m not doin’ a better job, I can just stop.”

“Don’t stop,” you begged. “You feel s—” your words faltered as he started to move again, “so fucking good.”

He kissed you hard on the lips, his mouth moving hungrily against yours in a vain attempt to distract you from the fact that he was slipping his fingers out of you. You whined against his mouth and the quick laugh he let out would’ve felt insulting if it wasn’t immediately followed by the sound of him unbuckling his jeans.

He pulled away from you, planting his feet back onto the floor just long enough to drop his jeans and boxers to the floor. You were sitting part of the way up, propping yourself on your forearms as you watched him. He was stepping out of the denim that was now in a pile at his feet when he saw you. He chuckled, shaking his head at you as he crawled back on top of you.

“Like what you see?” he asked as he pulled your legs back around his waist.

You hummed in agreement as you slid your hands up his side, your fingers easily finding their way under the ribbed fabric of his tank top. “I’d like it better if I could feel it.”

He let out a breathless laugh as he dropped his face into the crook of your neck. “You’re somethin’ else.”

“You love it,” you mumbled as you tightened your legs around him, desperate to pull him closer and into you.

“Yea,” he moaned as he finally gave in sliding into you, “I really fucking do.”

Whatever you were hoping to say, to taunt him with, instantly fell by the wayside once he was inside of you. There wasn’t a single word or coherent thought in your brain as you wound yourself as tightly around him as you could. Your legs squeezed him tighter, your arms reaching across his back so your nails could dig into him, leaving irrefutable evidence for him to look at the next day.

If you thought that the feeling of him kissing you made your head spin, this was about to send you into the next dimension. You always thought it was so cheesy when people said that it felt like someone was made just for them, but as Angel fought to thrust slowly, to make sure this lasted as long as it could, you couldn’t help but to feel like he really might’ve actually been made for you.

Your eyes were closed, just soaking up the feeling of him on top of you, inside of you, his lips and tongue trailing over your neck. If it had been possible, you would’ve dissolved right into him because of how good it all felt. The moans and whimpers he pulled out of you were ungodly, and they only served to spur him on even more.

Then you felt his teeth graze against the soft, sensitive skin of your neck. He didn’t bite down hard, so you let it go without comment, not wanting to interrupt the moment of bliss you were having if you could help it. He thrust into you harder, the moan you let out making your throat vibrate against his lips. He bit down a little harder, almost starting to suck a dark mark into the side of your neck when you pulled one hand from his back so you could plant it on his chest and push him away. Your body tried to fight you on it, but somehow you managed to win against yourself, putting just enough distance between you so that you could pull his lips back to yours.

“Angel,” you kissed him, “don’t.”

“Don’t what?” he pulled his lips away from yours and latched them back onto your neck. It felt like heaven but you knew it was going to be more trouble than it was worth if you didn’t stop him.

“Don’t, don’t leave any,” you stuttered for a moment when he changed his pace—it was almost a successful distraction, “No marks.”

You felt him chuckle against the column of your throat, the ticklish sensation of his beard against your skin. “Why not?” He kissed you. “Don’t want him knowing that someone else out there is giving you what he can’t?”

Trying to get him to show any self-control felt criminal, and also futile. “Yea, something like that.”

“No fun,” he murmured against you.

You had to laugh at that. “Really?” You carded your fingers through his hair as he pushed his hips to meet yours. “’Cause it feels like you’re having plenty of fun.”

Cupping his jaw, you pulled him back up to you and pulled his bottom lip between your teeth. Before your eyes fluttered closed, you saw the way that he relaxed, melting against you as his hands slid down to grip onto your hips. He held you steady as you continued to kiss him, and you could feel yourself teetering on the edge. He must’ve felt it, too, because he quickly caught your wrists in his hands, pinning them back against the arm of the couch.

The second he pulled his lips off of yours, your phone started to vibrate against the top of the coffee table. You both stilled, Angel leaning to look over and see who was calling. He chuckled as he looked back down at you. “I can answer it, if you want.”

“Don’t,” you sounded so breathless, “Don’t you dare.”

“You don’t want him hearin’ this?” he asked as he moved his hips, pulling another moan out of you.

You shook your head in protest but you couldn’t force anymore words out. Relief coursed through you when Angel dropped his head back down, kissing you hard on the lips before moving back to your next. You knew what he was going to do now that you weren’t going to be able to stop him. At this point you didn’t even care. The moan that came out of you when he sunk his teeth into your neck again let him know that you had no real intention of making him stop. You called out his name as you came undone around him, your legs tightening for a moment before going lax, only staying looped around his waist because of how close he had himself pinned to you.

He ran his tongue over the spot on your neck where his teeth had just been, like he was trying to soothe over the sting. It was the furthest thing from your mind, though, as you slowly started to come down from your high. You felt dizzy from it all as his forehead dropped against your shoulder. All of your limbs felt like they were made of jelly as you laid there, stars behind your eyes as Angel eagerly thrust into you. His grip around your wrists tightened, almost bruising as his movements got more intense.

The reality of everything that was happening burst to the forefront of your mind, and it should’ve made you feel badly, but it didn’t. Instead, it sent a second wave of bliss over your body as you wriggled your hands out of his grasp, immediately pulling his lips to yours. He didn’t fight you on it, pushing his tongue into your mouth, moaning as he came inside of you.

He collapsed on top of you, and you could feel the racing beat of his heart as his chest laid pinned to yours. He buried his face in the crook of your neck as he tried to catch his breath. His hands wandered slowly back down to your legs, running over them, pulling warmth from them as they stayed wound around his hips. You let out a hum of contentment as he placed a few lazy kisses to your neck and what he could reach of your shoulder. If you could’ve, you would’ve laid like that all night.

After a few minutes, when both of you got your breathing and heartrates back under control, Angel slowly, carefully pulled out of you. You fought the impulse to whine, not wanting all of it to be over. But you knew that you had no right to be complaining about something being over when it shouldn’t have happened in the first place.

He placed a lazy string of kisses down your neck and over your clothed chest before getting himself to sit upright. He reached for his boxers on the floor, lifting his hips up off the couch just long enough to pull them on.

You pushed yourself up just enough to lean back against the arm of the couch. You crossed one leg over the other, pushing your skirt down a little bit like it made any fucking difference at this point.

“Hey,” you lifted your chin a little, waiting for him to look at you, “you good?”

He huffed out a laugh as he shook his head, reaching up to run his fingers through his hair. “I’m great.”

Your brain was still a little too muddled to be able to tell if he was being sarcastic or not. He couldn’t make it easy. “What’re you thinking right now?” You paused. “Are you mad?”

He chuckled, a smile starting to curl the ends of his lips as he replayed everything that had just happened. “Fuck no.” He looked over at you, studying your face for a moment before asking, “How messy is this gonna get?”

“What?”

He motioned back and forth between the two of you. “This. Was this a one-time thing? You gonna finally break up with this dude? What’s the deal?”

And just like that, you came crashing down from your high. You dropped your head back against the armrest, staring up at the ceiling as you thought about your answer to his question. “I don’t know.” You dragged your hands down your face. “I know how awful that is.”

“Look,” he reached over, resting one hand on your knee, drumming his fingers, “I don’t give a shit about this guy, or hurting his feelings.” He saw the way you laughed at that. “I don’t. He wants to fuck things up with you? I’ll let him.” He paused, a shit-eating smirk taking over his face as he said, “And I’ll keep fuckin’ you while he’s doing it.”

“Angel!” you chastised him with a laugh.

“I’m serious.” He leaned down, grabbing his jeans so he could start to pull those on too. “I don’t give a fuck about him. But I’ve been tellin’ you, you’re wasting your time.”

“So, what, you think I should just leave him and be with you?”

Angel shook his head. “I didn’t say that. I mean, you should,” he laughed, “but I didn’t say that. Him being a waste of your time has nothing to do with me.”

“Really?” You laughed. “This feels like it has a lot to do with you.”

“Yea, ‘cause I was inside you like, two fuckin’ minutes ago,” he said with a laugh. He stood up, pulling his jeans up and buckling his belt back into place. “You gotta make that choice. I’ll be here, no matter what you end up doing, but,” he raked his fingers back through his hair, “this is your mess to figure out.”

“Why’d you come over, then?”

He shrugged. “I like you. You knew that, though.”

Your voice was quieter than you thought it was going to be as you said, “I know.”

He was about to go grab his boots when he saw the look on your face. “Want me to stay?”

You thought about it for a long moment before finally shaking your head. “I’ll be good. You know, when my legs start working again.”

Angel laughed and shook his head as went to grab his kutte and put his boots back on. You watched him, unable to wipe the smile off your face, or shake the jittery feeling still coursing through your body. You knew that you should feel guilty, and maybe you would in the morning. Or maybe you wouldn’t. It was all a mistake but it certainly didn’t feel like one yet.

He walked back over, standing beside the sofa like he had when he first got to your house. “You sure you’re gonna be good if I go?”

You looked up at him and nodded. “I’ll be fine. Thanks for the company.”

He smirked. “If that’s what you wanna call it.”

You rolled your eyes but you could feel your face getting warm. “Goodnight, Angel.”

He laughed, leaning down and kissing you on the forehead. “Night.” He walked back to the door. He was halfway through it when he turned and looked back over his shoulder at you, a smile on his face as he said, “Don’t forget to cover up that hickey.”

You laughed, shaking your head at him as he pulled the door shut behind him. Once again it was just the noise of the television filling your apartment. Reaching up, you lightly pressed your fingers against where Angel’s mark was, already thinking of the best way to cover it up.

#mayans mc #mayansmc #mayans fx #mayans mc imagine #angel reyes #angel reyes x you #angel reyes x reader #angel reyes imagine #angel reyes fanfic #my writing #fanfiction #drabblesmc

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kanmom51 · 1 year

Text

JK live 3/8/2023 10:26 pm or 22:26 KST

**This post was written by @dgtn. Little me added some of my own insight. As a whole this was a joint effort put together by the two of us.

A huge thank you to @dgtn for helping me with this.💜

And a shoutout to JK for taking a couple of days off to allow us some time to try and catch up, lol.

So let's just jump right into it.

JK came live to us on 3 August 2023. With hindsight we know that he was performing at Suga's concert the next day and the busy schedule he was talking about included rehearsing for that most enjoyable performance.

When he first turns on the live all we get is a chair, curtains, and a stove top vent. Same angle as the previous live. You know, the one I personally feel there was someone in the apartment with him. Kinda feels like we were put in time out! (some ARMY deserves to be put in time out but I digress). Also, lights dimmed, like he likes (which once again makes me think that in the previous live when he turned them way brighter it was for someone else's benefit).

We can hear him whistling and singing in the background and getting a drink with ice. Then he talking to himself:

“I have to take medicine! That’s right” – he is still not feeling well.

“when do I clean my house? I’ll have to do a big cleanup”. He’s been busy with other things, you know, conquering the world! But of course domestic kookie places high priority on things being clean.

At around the 2 minute mark he finally comes into focus on the screen. Typical cutie kookie, comes shuffling in wearing very cozy looking top (by one of his current fave brands, mihara Yasuhiro) with one of his signature beanies (which he takes off pretty quick after he realises, from the comments, that the beanie is same colour as the background and it looks like he has no hair - same effect as a green screen, lol). He waves to the camera. Then he disappears again!!!! Finally returns at around the 2 minute mark, sits down with his drink and says “hi”.

First words out of his mouth after greeting us: “I’m so tired”. These 3 words set the tone for the whole live. The man is exhausted! Conquering the world requires a lot of energy. Especially when it’s done in the span of about 10 days. He looks absolutely toasted. Well, toasted and sick. Imagine having to do all this while sick. And suffering from insomnia to top it all off.

He stares at the camera for a while, my guess is he at first is zoned out and starts reading comments that are popping up (to himself).

“I’m sleepy”.

“I have to wash up.” This is I think one of the things he absolutely hates doing at the end of the day. I get it. I will be honest, I have had many a day that I have said fuck it I’m so tired I’m going to bed with all my make up on, only to wake up in the morning looking like a raccoon. I feel you JK.

Almost immediately he starts dealing with the usual stupid comments. I don’t think the man could be any clearer when he says “Don’t call me Ian” with a slight chuckle. You know the one he does when he’s really just over it but is still trying to be polite? Hasn’t he said this before? Like many times. But of course there are those who refuse to believe that he might actually really not like being called Ian because they just keep on doing it. It’s almost as if they care more about their needs and what they want to say then about how it makes JK feel……hmmmm. Yeah, do we really have to ask ourselves that question? Of course they care more about their own wants and needs. If they actually cared about JK’s needs and wants we wouldn’t be getting the “Ian” comments, or the “speak English” comments, or the “touch your nose” or “why aren’t you acknowledging my comment?” and so on and so forth.

Our ever polite JK flat out says don’t call me Ian and then it’s almost like an instant response to dial back the intensity with a little laugh. But the message is still loud and clear. He doesn’t like that name.

Then we get “Really” followed by him looking away from the camera in an uncomfortable way for a few moments. Maybe he was wishing that all those stupid ass Ian comments would magically vanish.

And yet, once again ignoring his wishes later on in the live someone pulls the “Kor-Ian” joke. Huh huh huh…

“I really want to sleep early today. I guess I’ve been having insomnia lately. I can’t fall asleep. I’m so sleepy, but I can’t sleep. I can’t fall asleep.” Our energizer bunny has never been good at falling asleep and I’m sure with his crazy schedule around the release of Seven it’s been even tougher. Oh, and let’s not forget that when Jimin is not available that complicates things for him even more. When you are used to sleeping with your partner next to you and then your schedule changes and doesn’t allow for that, it can be very difficult to sleep! Also, did anyone mention neuro divergent?

Next he reassures us that he ate dinner. What are we, his parents????? Long pause and drumming of the fingers on the table. Seems like he is waiting for a good question to answer. Doesn’t look like it’s going to happen so eventually he says “I hung up lights in front”. He’s taking charge of the conversation because he can’t count on us.

He starts talking about the TikTok Live.

How when he turned it on something weird kept popping up and can he turn it off (he’ll come back to this).

The man is tired! He’s going to finish his drink and go to bed.

Then he starts looking around his apartment saying it’s such a mess and he needs to clean it and throw out all the useless things. (around 5:00 min. mark). First off, never come to my house JK cause you’d be horrified and from what we’ve seen of his place there’s not much there to throw out so I’m not really sure what he’s talking about? There is barely anything left (it’s almost as if he’s been slowly moving things out 😊). Well, unless if he’s talking about all the old dorm furniture, including very possibly that TV that doesn’t seem to work properly, given that sooner rather than later there will be a brand new home to be moving into, and we’ll be doing that, I must assume, not with old dorm furniture.

Now back to Tik Tok “I can’t turn it off? Then don’t send it. Why do you send that? Don’t send it. No! I can just not do it” – sounds to me like he is talking about ARMY sending him gifts during his Tik Tok lives. He’s asking ARMY not to do that anymore and wondering why it’s being done in the first place. And him saying he can just not do it…does that mean no more Tik Tok lives if he continues to get gifts? People, hear the man and stop sending him gifts!!!!!

“Everyone! The cold didn’t die out, but it came back again. So I went to the hospital yesterday. Colds are so severe this time around. It’s so annoying” (said twice). When something is important enough, he’ll repeat it even over several lives if necessary (don’t call me Ian). JK gets distracted by the refrigerator. He says it’s loud whenever he does a live broadcast.

***Observation about JK. The only one who can truly hold his attention is Jimin. If Jimin is not there, you can guarantee he will be distracted; this includes his live. He is easily distracted. Well, unless JM is there, or on screen.***

He’s asked if he is resting to which he replies: “I don’t have a few days to rest. I’m busy.” (6:20 mark) Back to ARMY assuming the parent role…when will people realize the man is 25 years old!

JK goes back to talking about his cold. Says he’s getting stressed.

Then says “yes don’t send that on tik tok. Buy and eat something delicious. I don’t know how much that is. But don’t do it (shaking his head and hand at the screen). I shouldn’t do tik tok live.

Since then I think he turned off the gift option, so perhaps that will allow for more TikTok lives in the future?

“I’m not in great condition. I just wanted to see you, so I came”.

So, when he is not feeling well, he comes to ARMY to help him feel better. We’ve heard that from him so many times, army are a source of comfort to him.

He is being honest with us. He makes a point in repeating this time and time again. When he wants to drive in a message he tends to do that. Tell us on repeat. That he loves us. That we are a source of comfort to him. That he wants to be our friend. That he’s not in touch with Tae. That he has no use for his computer. That he’s not gaming anymore. That he’s not going to game ever again (yet to come). Hammering in, repeating, sending a message.

And then he’s back to his house being a mess. He says he should clean it when he has a day off as he is looking around in disappointment. Again, don’t ever come to my house! Also, can he not afford a cleaner? Like seriously.

He says his house looks clean but it’s a storage room (ahm…yes? The old dorm storage room I’d say). It’s curious that he uses the words storage room to describe his apartment. Why use that term? This is coming from someone who supposedly had a mattress laying in each room of his house in the past. What makes the apartment look like a storage room then? Like I said, could it be the dorm stuff being used/stored there? Yet another piece of the puzzle as to Brunnen being a temporary crash pad and not an actual HOME?

He says he has to take medicine but he’s too lazy. Lazy is not a word I would ever use to describe JK. Being neuro divergent myself (@dgtn), when I think of things I have to do, if it isn’t something I am excited about or want to do, it very quickly falls to the bottom of my to do list. Sometimes even gets forgotten.

In between yawns he tells us that he went to the company today briefly because of his schedule. And while he was there, he ate and he should’ve taken his medicine but he didn’t. See here he says he forgot to.

Now it’s time to watch tv but sadly the network isn’t working for him.

So the house is a mess and the network is shot. He asks what is wrong with this house? LTE isn’t working and neither is the internet!

Now he’s going to fiddle with the tv and see if he can magically make it work. At one point he is actually side eyeing the tv. Maybe I should try that next time too. The TV is still not working and now he’s getting stressed (there’s that word again). Next thing he’s off screen talking to something asking what is wrong with you. When all else fails…..reboot. Still nothing, and now he starts smacking the remote on his leg. (after 4 minutes of trying). Around 6 minutes into trying almost everything he decides the tv doesn’t work after the last rain fall and he needs to get rid of it or something with a little giggle.

Now back to ARMY. He says thank you to ARMY for worrying about him. He starts laughing when someone says he should drink warm water instead of iced water. He proclaims that he will always choose iced.

And now he’s back to the tv again, saying it’s the house’s fault not the tv and he’s gonna try something else.

“I get pretty determined” ….. no kidding JK! Now where have I seen him be determined before….let me think….oh yes….Jimin!

Finally, after about 11 minutes he decides it’s useless to keep trying.

Back to ARMY again. Now he’s making a peace sign to show that he saw a comment and then starts making bubbles in his water.

He reads “can I see the lip spike?” Doesn’t understand what that means.

***observation. He really really wants to spend time with ARMY but is having a hard time finding comments worth responding too. It’s all about the friendship. Talking with us. Having a meaningful conversation with us. And when he doesn’t find that in the comments, he goes to tv and that’s not working either so back it is looking through comments.

Someone is asking for an air kiss (never gave one by the way).

Someone asked about his next shoot with CK to which he responds with “I don’t know”. Cheeky JK then laughs and says “do you think I would tell you that?” So there are limits to what JK will share with ARMY! Good for him, start putting those boundaries in place!!!!! “There are confidential things” – in other words I’m not going to tell you so back the fuck off!!!!

He reads that his voice makes someone sleepy to which he laughs and says it might be because he speaks so monotonously…. Ok JK, go ahead and sell yourself short.

He called out someone for asking him to infect them. To which he responds, “that is not okay”. His polite way of saying That is seriously messed up. Who says things like this! That may actually be the cringiest comment in this whole live. People have zero boundaries.

He wants to sing for us but he is not in great condition and he says he is sorry (always thinking of ARMY’s feelings).

“Bunny” he pauses with a little smirk after reading that. My guess is he still likes his nickname.

What to do next since the tv isn’t working. He wants to do something fun with ARMY and it’s pretty obvious he’s bored with all the stupid comments.

He says the house is ridiculous cause nothing works … sounds like he might be used to being somewhere where everything does work…

He says he can’t fall asleep with us on this live because he needs to wash up.

Now we have JK personal trainer answering questions about diet and exercise.

“I’m on a diet lately. What’s the best exercise? Cardio is good for diets. But if…if you run to much it’s bad on your knees. It could be too much. There are cardio exercises that are less harsh on your knees.” He makes a rowing motion with his arms and says this is good. My guess is he is talking about an elliptical machine. “In the house, there’s the one where you grab on and the arms and legs go together, right?” Was this a slip of the tongue? Which house? Whose house? Or did he mean the gym? Yeah, not buying the last one, and we saw that he doesn’t have an elliptic at Brunnan. I’m going with slip of the tongue. Same slip of the tongue that RM had in their LA live back way when he was talking about the café they have next to their home. All signs are pointing at a certain home of which we only got to see the gaming room and part of the lounge room…

Well, at least that was more interesting than the Ian jokes or the “infect me” comment… Also, maybe if I had JK as a personal trainer I’d actually be excited to go to the gym regularly. Well, that after being totally ashamed of the state I’m in to start with…

“We’re family” comment. He replies with a hmmm. And a small head shake.

Family, friends, all good. Just as long as it’s not bf or husband. Oh, and not oppa either. Yuck.

And back to the issue of the tv again. It seems someone asked him why it doesn’t work. He talks about being in the mountains so Wi-Fi doesn’t consistently work. And he fought with the Wi-Fi ahead of time today because he knew he was going to be doing the live. (was this planned? Knowing he’s in Brunnen alone and going live for army?) He talks about turning over the house once (I’m thinking he means turning it over once and for all and being done with it) he says it’s too stressful and he can’t live this way.

On to the Seven CD cover and the words overlapping. He says it’s for real and on purpose.

Comments he’s reading:

I haven’t been working out much lately.

Even if I wanted to, he can’t listen to much music right now so what do I do?

He asks what does “air kiss” mean? Now we get flirty JK. He says it’s not a hand kiss and asks if its’ this and shows a kiss. (around 29 minute mark). Then he laughs and says “Do you like that. Isn’t talking like this better?” Naughty JK!!!

Now he’s wondering if an air kiss is in fact a whistle! Then he finally figures it out! A kiss with your hand to your mouth! “That’s Jin’s signature!” (30 minute mark)

“I can’t sing cause I have a sore throat” … all in English. He actually says cause, but it’s translated as because. I love how he very properly uses English slang by saying “cause” instead of “because”. 😊

Remember when I talked about the gaming and said “yet to come”? Well here we are, once again with the computer. He’s asked if he sold his computer as he had mentioned he was going to do on a previous live. He’s not going to sell it, just get rid of it. He doesn’t use it anymore, just uses a laptop for work. He says he’s never going to play games.

***observation…was that his way of telling us he does not game with Tae and/or the woogas anymore????? First time he said he’s not using his computer anymore my thought was, well he’s gaming at JM’s. But this here, it’s the second time he’s said he’s not playing games anymore, and this time it’s with an exclamation mark. NEVER. And do we remember what we said about him repeating messages he wants to get through? Hammering them in. Repeating them. Yep. Interesting.

And today, after the premiere crap yesterday it is making even more sense. JK was invited to that premiere. JK did not show at the premiere. JK could have had a schedule that prevented him from going, that is true. Could have also 'missed' it intentionally. Not wanting to show up at the premiere. A choice made. Just like the choices made answering the Tae comments setting people straight or the choice to repeat he's not gaming anymore.

Topic of religion:

“I don’t have a religion. They’re Christian on my dad’s side. And Buddhist on my mom’s side. There was nothing like that since my time. Nothing was forced either. That’s why I have no religion.”

“They’re Christian on my dad’s side.” – as in his dad family, but most likely not his dad. He’d say his dad is Christian, not use that wording about his dad’s family. Same with his mom. Parents simply must not be religious, hence the home not being religious either way.

*** Was this his way of debunking the bullshit rumors about him and Yubi? I applaud you JK!!!

He tells people if they are hungry during the live broadcast to go ahead and eat!!

***observation: Why are people constantly asking him for his permission to do things!!!! Maybe because he asks them if he can go to the loo as well? Lol.

Now he’s talking about his jacket asking ARMY if they like it. He says he’s been wearing it a lot lately and there is a long and short version of it. He wore the short sleeve version when he did the dance challenge with Mingyu. He goes on to say he should’ve bought several of them!

Ok, so we know it’s a brand he’s been wearing lately. JM as well. We also know that JK has the tendency to buy multiples of things he likes. Hint to bf to buy in multiples next time? Lol.

Now the album:

He’s not sure when it’ll come out. (34:30 mark) He’s got to try something…. Curious!!!

Someone says they had a nice dream about him and his response: “really”. That’s it, nothing else. I felt like this was his way of acknowledging the comment and then dismissing it. Again … Kinda cringey.

He’s asked about a new hobby, and he says he doesn’t have any but then he decides live broadcasts are his hobby. (around 35:00 minute mark)

***Observation. He is SO damn tired at this point. You can tell he is fading and needs to go to sleep.

His current favorite food is Perilla oil makguksu (buckwheat noodles). They always turn out good for him! The colder the better! (36:00 mark)

He won first place again! Thank you! Our always gracious JK bows his head and says thank you twice. And a third time 😊

Now we get someone saying that they can’t understand his live because they don’t speak Korean. (38:46 mark). Good lord, here we go again…His response in a nutshell…it’s hard for him to understand English so perhaps we can both study the languages and learn together. “Let’s all study. You should study Korean. Our Korean, please study it. It’s also tough for me. How frustrated must I be as well? Try starting Korean!”

***Observation: This man is so done with all this speak English bullshit. He is Korean!! That is his native language. He is learning English but would love for people to meet him halfway. You know that mutual respect that he has been talking about more recently. That respect that he is looking for from ARMY.

So now we’ve come to that point. He wasn’t intending on doing the live for that long.

Sleeping for him is hard, he will close his eyes for about 4 hours and fidget the whole time. He’s going to go wash up and if he wakes up, he’ll come back. But don’t wait up for him!!!!

Well, I guess he fell asleep cause he did not come back live again that night 😊

Before I end this let's talk about the necklace a second here. It's dark and the video quality is not great to say the least, but he is wearing the necklace with the ring, and it does look like the same one he's wearing in his live the next night (or morning after next night, depending on your pov, lol). And although the chain seems to be different than JM's in Like crazy, that ring, it looks pretty identical. Anyway, something that will be discussed in next post about next live, which I have not yet gone to see, because I really need to brace myself for that 2.5 hr. live (silently crying inside).

And to think that feeling this way JK went on stage the next day and performed with Yoongi. And to top it all he was so hard on himself for forgetting some of Burn it lyrics. I do hope that he is allowing himself some time to rest and heal at the moment. Probably not. But here's hoping.

#Jungkook #JK #JK live #Here's to a joint venture

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