oceanshusband

[oceanshusband]

woah mama maybe i'm the faggot america

[oceanshusband]

where is all the art that perfectly appeals specifically to my exact tastes and desires and nobody elses

[oceanshusband]

me when feeling suspiciously relaxed: what responsibility have i forgotten

[oceanshusband]

“whatever the fuck these two characters had going on” is a vastly underrated character dynamic

[oceanshusband]

she’s right

[oceanshusband]

Sonic the Hedgehog but nakey boys get dressed up

[oceanshusband]

the person reading this is going to survive the rough patch they’re going through

[oceanshusband]

I am going to [remembers that jokes about suicide are detrimental to myself and others] Scarborough Fair.

[oceanshusband]

[oceanshusband]

need a full body massage a margarita 400mg of ibuprofen a plate of brownies at least an hour in a jacuzzi and 20,000 dollars cash

[oceanshusband]

rise & grind gaymers

[oceanshusband]

anyone else get embarrassed when their self indulgent daydreams are like too self-indulgent? like oh jeez the telepaths are going to judge me

[oceanshusband]

[oceanshusband]

minos was such a pussy. if my wife gave birth to an epic minotaur baby i wouldn't have locked him in a labyrinth. i would have taken him to the mcdonalds play place (athens) every day and let him eat as many stray mcnuggets (athenians) off the floor as he wanted. i love you hungry son

[oceanshusband]

Demonstrating the rope dart (繩標; sheng2biao1)

[eng by me]

[oceanshusband]

need a full body massage a margarita 400mg of ibuprofen a plate of brownies at least an hour in a jacuzzi and 20,000 dollars cash

[oceanshusband]

Which is sexier, a werewolf or a vampire?

Depends if you find it sexier to submit to the will of charismatic evil or to be overwhelmed by animalistic power. And that's not a decision I can make for you.