#I’m just kind of emotional in general I guess

[lunarsilver]

What are their sexual fantasies?

+18, minors do not interact

A reading regarding your partner - your current one (asking about their permission would be in good taste), or next one, or the most important one, or your future spouse... Whatever you prefer.

(Psst! I will be grateful for your answer to a simple question.)

REMEMBER

I’m not a doctor, a psychiatrist, a therapist nor a psychologist. Divination will never replace meetings with them.

It’s a general reading, so not everything will resonate.

If you can’t choose between two piles, probably both of them have some messages for you. You can also not identify with any of them, and that’s okay, too.

Readings can help you make a decision, but they shouldn’t be the main reason for making it.

1 ~ 2 ~ 3

PILE 1

Six of Swords - Strength (R) - Three of Wands (R) - Back of the Deck: Knight of Swords (R)

Six of Swords literally fell out as I was shuffling, which suggests to me this one is pretty important. Six of Swords is about change, leaving something behind and going on new endeavors. It looks like they’re really eager to try something new, maybe their earlier experience with intimacy wasn’t the best for them. Then we have Strength in reverse which seems to confirm that they felt or feel kind of trapped, and they fantasize about lashing out their raw emotions. The deck I use does not have a sexual theme, but this specific card has one of the most sensual imagery among all the cards in this deck: a woman, full of confidence, poses in just heels and lower underwear, a bra tossed aside. She’s very flexible and has a snake tattoo on her leg. I think your person wishes to be so flexible and confident in their body. The imagery brings a strip club or a sexy dance for a partner to my mind, and while there is a chance your person would like to see someone doing this kind of act (I guess going to a club like this would fit the theme of trying something new), for most this card is simply about having the courage to embrace one’s body and desires. Reversed Three of Wands says this person experiences some delays, some problems on their way to express themselves, and this leads to frustration. Knight of Swords in reverse confirms that. Your person is pretty frustrated sexually, and for some reason is unable to take action. As a side note, both Six of Swords and Knight of Swords in this deck show swords, so maybe some people here would like to try knife play? What’s interesting is that, in the way they lie now, all these swords point in the same direction, but what is exactly this direction? That’s unclear. Let’s pick up some more cards.

I asked for the reason why your person cannot fulfill themselves sexually and why they feel frustrated, and the cards are Seven of Swords (R), King of Cups, The Tower (R) and at the back there is Six of Cups. To put it short, it looks like they have this mental blockage. They may feel like they aren’t worthy of it, or it simply doesn’t fit them. For some, they grew up taught to think about sexuality as something shameful. I think the King of Cups represents them, and if so, they look really lovely and in tune with their emotions. They are at the start of their personal transformation and rediscovering what they like. No specific fantasies came here in this reading, other than the desire to have the courage to try to do what they are or may be into. It could be good to create a safe space for them, tell them that if they want to try something, you may always discuss it together. Whether you’ll actually do it is another matter, but letting them know having sexual desires isn’t shameful is pretty important here.

PILE 2

The Tower (R) - The Hierophant (R) - Two of Wands (R) - Three of Cups - Back of the Deck: Knight of Wands

Only after I realized I pulled four cards instead of three, I guess they have a lot to say lol. We’re starting with The Tower in reverse, so your person wants some inner change. The Hierophant in reverse is about questioning the rules, about freedom. Your person fantasizes about exploring, most likely about doing some kinky stuff. They’re excited about it, they want to do it, but they’re not ready and lack a proper plan or preparation (Two of Wands in reverse). However, it is clear they fantasize about celebrating their and their partner(s) bodies, treating sex as fun, as shown in Three of Cups. For some, Three of Cups suggests them fantasizing about threesomes. A side note, but a lot of cards show some pets, some on a leash, and I cannot help but wonder whether your person fantasizes about some kind of pet play. I think the reversed Knight of Wands at the back represents your person: impulsive, ready to action, fiery and with high libido, but probably they should do some research first. I felt like pulling some charms, asking what this person has to tell you, and the messages are “it will be better”, “I am with you”, “you are a master” (or maybe they want to say you are their master; whether “the master of their heart” or a master as in a BDSM dynamic - I feel like for quite a lot of you, pile 2, your person is a proud bottom, maybe a power bottom or a little a brat lol), “do what you love”, “you can count on me” and “fresh perspective”.

PILE 3

Ten of Cups - The Empress - Knight of Cups - Back of the Deck: The Magician

Okay, all upright, three out of four cards show people, two Major Arcana and two cards of Cups, plus three out of four cards are mainly pink and red. This person knows what they want and they like to be as clear as possible, they’re emotional and aren’t ashamed of it, that’s what I get right off the bat. Ten of Cups shows they’re pretty romantic, they fantasize about an ideal, fulfilling, committed relationship. The Empress and Knight of Cups represent you and this person - and I feel like for most of you, you are represented by the Empress and they are Knight of Cups, given how romantic and emotional Knight of Cups is, and how romantic is your person. The Empress and Knight of Cups look at each other from their respective cards. They look tenderly, smiling a little, and their eyes are on the same level. This person clearly fantasizes about an equal relationship, where at the same time they can adore you and spoil you. The Magician at the back suggests they manifest this relationship. Like, your person is so sweet, I asked about sexual fantasies and all that came out is that they want love. As an afterthought, the Empress is the only card having different colors than the rest, which only further proves the rest of cards is their energy and the Empress is you. I asked for some messages from your person to you and pulled out these charms: “I’ve been looking for you everywhere :*”, “I love your smile”, “something nice will happen to you”, “it makes me want to live”.

[kestrels-nook]

I didn’t like tomorrow and tomorrow and tomorrow bc it made me want to call up my childhood best friend and I’m afraid of being vulnerable

[celestialmancer]

⛈️ ❌ ❌ ❌ // 2:09 am, tbd ;

[augustinewrites]

cw: it’s just angst

“i’m not mad.”

satoru closes and locks the front door, trailing after you into the kitchen, apprehension rising in the space kept between you. “really? because you seem kind of mad…”

“it’s fine, gojo.” you snap. “i’m fine.”

he watches you, quiet as the two of you go about your evening routine. leftovers from meals brought to the infirmary stowed away. week-old laundry tossed into the basket. you don’t say a word to him, emotions you don’t know how to make sense of still simmering.

“i’m sorry,” he says plainly as you’re both putting away the dishes. 

you wipe your hands on the tea towel, glancing over at him. “do you even know what you’re apologizing for?”

he shifts, unsure. “no…”

“of course you don’t,” you sigh. 

“then tell me,” he insists, exasperated. “i don’t want to fight.” 

“i don’t want to either,” you snap. “but you’re doing it again.” 

“doing what?”

“you just spent a week in the infirmary. you were hurt.”

“c’mon,” he laughs weakly. “there was no real chance of me dying.” 

“that’s not the—” you voice rises, then immediately quiets when you realize the kids are asleep. “that’s not the point. you’re losing yourself in it again. soon you’re going to drift away from us— from me,” you tell him, bleeding into the pain you’ve felt the last few days. “like you did when we were in school.”

because for as long as you’d known gojo, his drive was to constantly do more. be more. the period of time after the failure that was the star plasma vessel mission was the first time you’d witnessed it. gojo satoru doesn’t do anything halfway. he won’t permit himself to.

that’s what really scares you. he doesn’t know when to stop.

“i’m sorry that i worried you,” he apologizes, sincerity etched into his expression. you know him, know that he’s scared to say the wrong thing, that he’ll mess this up or somehow make it worse. “i had to. the higher ups—”

“satoru,” you interrupt, walls crumbling right in front of him. “i’ve always liked that you care about the jujutsu world. i just don’t want you to only care about it. not with where we are in our lives right now.”

“i don’t—”

“you do! you always have, and i get it. i know the world needs you…but things are getting worse, and we need to start thinking about the future—”

“everything i’m doing is for the future. for the future generation of sorcerers all over the world—”

“i don’t care about the world! i just care about you, and that’s the problem. one person always cares more in a relationship and that’s always been me.” 

“that’s not true,” he insists, a desperate edge in his voice. “all i’ve ever wanted is you. all i’ve never needed is you—”

“i need you too! maybe that sounds selfish or needy, but i don’t want there to be a day where i have to tell the kids that you’re not coming home. if you can’t understand that—”

he doesn’t think you realize you’re crying, frustrated tears gathering in your eyes and threatening to spill over. satoru reaches for you out of instinct, your argument the furthest thing from both your minds at this moment. you let him pull you into his arms, let him hold you. 

but you’re exhausted. 

this is fight you’ve been having since the moment you’d met him, and you don���t think he’ll understand the impact of it until you walk away.

“if you don’t understand that,” you continue softly, “then maybe we need to take a break.”

_____

outside the apartment door, nanami and shoko sit side by side, sharing a bottle of "welcome home" wine.

"guess they forgot we were coming over," the doctor mutters, pressing her ear against the door to see if jujutsu tech's favourite couple was still fighting. “it’s way too quiet in there. you think she killed him?”

nanami sighs, loosening his tie. “it’s quite possible.” 

“i’ll be the alibi and you’ll get rid of the body?”

“of course.”

[ladyshinga]

didn’t figure out i was autistic at all until my 30s. why? well in a funny twist of what some might call irony but probably isn’t: one of my main special interests since childhood... people. behavior. how folks feel vs how they behave, why they do things, what motivates them. i became a “peacemaker” type as a kid because i could observe an argument between two people and fairly accurately guess how each felt and was able to kind of... do some emotional translation for both of them to help them find an understanding. and BECAUSE of this, people were like “you’re wise/good with people/etc” and for years people also said “that means you’re not autistic, because autism means not being good at socializing”

but like. i’m not? i’m OKAY at socializing. but since childhood i’ve found a lot more success in just being the observer. WATCHING people, paying extremely close attention, that’s what i was good at. i learned early to never TELL people outright i was doing that, people get weird when you say you’re observant and have noticed their behavior/emotions/etc

I don’t regret this being a special interest of mine. It’s been an uphill battle since my 20s to figure out how to be a PART of all that socialization? (and i still feel like i constantly fuck it up, translating the neurotypical habits mid-conversation is much harder than observing it as an outsider and having more time to process it) But... I like that I’m an observer. I like that I can see the clear causes and effects of emotions that people have, their experiences, how it can all bleed together? I like it. I’m glad my childhood brain decided to latch onto the concept of People and humanity in general. It can get frustrating sometimes feeling like the only one in a group of people trying to be considerate of what the others are going through but... I still wouldn’t give that up. I’m glad I’m weird about humans. They’re pretty great actually.

[saerins]

𝑩𝒀 𝑴𝒀 𝑵𝑨𝑴𝑬

dabi x reader. cw: they smoke, timeline is before dabi revealed who he was, mentions of death, very suggestive.

notes: for @saeist my beloved <3 i hope i didn’t massacre your boy :’)

“i’m bored,” you whine, sauntering over to the living room where the villain you’re so generously housing (for now) is sat, playstation controller between his palms, thumbs on the buttons, body half-naked leaving nearly nothing to your imagination.

you notice that he’s wearing your ex’s sweats, probably something he fished out of a random closet. but you also notice that dabi makes it look much better.

call yourself screwed up or whatever, but even in this age of impending war between heroes and villains, is it so bad to find dabi so attractive?

“and i’m a villain, what do you want?” dabi states the obvious, barely paying you any mind, eyes glued on the screen, blues and reds bouncing off his face from the game he’s playing.

normally, you’re too cautious to get up in his space, choosing to steer clear of him whenever he’s around. you’re too timid to even bring up the fact that you don’t come from money and it’d be really nice if he could pay some rent! unfortunately today, you’re not. you’ve just had a hell of a bad day, getting disrespected and ridiculed at work, and you’re in the mood for a distraction.

anything, even if it means it has to be dabi.

besides, you’ve been cohabitating for so many months now, he probably won’t kill you, right?

you take a puff from your device, blowing into the space in front of him, obscuring his vision even if just a little. his eyes narrow, turquoise hues flicking up as he sneers at you—but they soften, turning amused when he gets the hint; you’re the kind to wear your heart on your sleeve, it’s easier than normal to guess what you want.

“getting a little stressed out is all it takes for you to come my way?” the wide smirk that graces his face almost takes you aback; it almost makes you feel like he’s any other normal human being and you’re both a normal pair of people flirting.

you lean into it, finding that you don’t want to let go of it. the small glimpses of humanity you see in him are few and far between, and while you know it’s probably you reaching, it’s still intriguing.

“what flavour?” he asks you, nodding towards that little thing in your right palm as you straddle him on the couch, controller tossed to the side and already forgotten, even when the game’s still running. 

mirroring his smirk, you take another slow, long puff, pressing your forehead against his as you exhale, “wanna take a guess?”

dabi watches as you take another puff, eyes staring into his like you could be medusa. and you’re irritating, because there’s no way he can tell whatever’s rolling off of your tongue when you’re this close. you’re saying something, and you’re taking another puff, and everything’s muffled—all the noises are one, and all he can do is stare at your lips, half-lidded with his hands on your waist.

not a thought crosses his mind when his other hand pulls your neck close, his mouth pressing over your own, his eyes glinting with mischief as he inhales whatever’s left inside of you before pulling away and leaving you breathless.

“ew, what is that, peach pop or some shit?” he grimaces, internally chuckling when he sees you mildly horrified thinking he meant otherwise.

you roll your eyes, “excuse you, it’s grape yoghurt and i think it tastes great.” you’re ready to retract the idea of doing anything with dabi, moving to get off of him when his firm grip around your waist tightens, pulling you back.

“mmmm,” he hums, low and raspy and it’s like you can feel the distance closing in between the two of you. “i wanna know what you taste like without all that bubblegum coating though.”

is it possible for just simple words to heighten your emotions like this?

dabi doesn’t even let you get any words out before his palms slip under your shirt, so rough and so different but so welcome. he makes quick work of flipping you so that your back hits the couch, his body hovering over you.

when you’re forced to look at him like this, you can tell so much more than when you stare at him through the tv screen being hailed as an arsonist maniac. like how his eyes are so blue and how the black dye in his hair is falling off in some places. his body is more purple than normal, and you wonder just what he had been through to turn out like this.

his lips come up to yours, only for it to be stopped by your index finger coming in between. he tilts his head to the side, an amused grunt leaving his lips. “i don’t get a taste?”

“you will,” you assure him, but not before you get to be a little selfish. “once you tell me your name.”

“you know my name.”

“your real name.”

dabi sighs, rolling his eyes and getting off of you, relegating back to his original position and ignoring you.

annoyed, you take another puff and blow it at him, his jaw clenching in irritation.

“you waltz in here one day demanding either i leave or put you up, you refuse to tell me why or who you were but thank god for the news one day that reported on you and the other people in the league, i’ve never reported you or asked you anything until now and you still refuse to tell me?” you recount, giving a dramatic sigh as you sit up. you put on a pout knowing that he can still see you out of the corner of his eye. “give me something, dabi.”

feeling particularly bold today, your fingers trail a line down his arms. you can feel the heat radiating off of him and you can’t tell what it means, whether it’s just a bodily reaction to your words or if he’s about to blow this place to ashes.

but the next thing you know, he’s pushing you back down on the couch, his lips on yours and he’s kissing you this time, barely letting you catch your breath. are you crazy if you think this is him telling you not to go? your hands come up around his neck, careful with the way you touch his skin, and you’re considered breathless once again when you hear him breathe a name into your mouth.

“touya.”

he pulls away for a few seconds after that, and you let it sink in. he only says it once, probably because there’s some story attached to his real identity that he doesn’t like. and it’s enough for you.

“that enough for you?” he asks, though he doesn’t wait for an answer, hands pawing at your shirt before he removes it.

he’s not sure why he even told you his name. he’s not sure why he hasn’t burnt you to ashes like countless others. he’s not sure why you’re so addictive somehow—why this one interaction is enough to make him feel some sort of relief.

but he knows one thing: if it isn’t a sin, could he keep you?

[soobnny]

ten things yang jeongin says when he thinks you’re asleep — fluff, established relationship, a bit of angst

chan | lee know | changbin | hyunjin | han | felix | seungmin | JEONGIN

one. i was thinking about you earlier. nothing in particular, just—who you are. and it made me wish i’d known you sooner. everything about my life right now is infinitely better now that you’re in it.

two. i’d give anything to stop time every moment that i’m with you.

three. i found my old diary when i went home today. i know, yes, i was an angsty teenage boy with a diary. i quickly went through it just to see what i wrote. ah, if you saw it, you’d definitely laugh. but… one entry caught my eye. it was from a few years ago and it was at a point of my life when i thought nobody could ever love me. not even in a romantic sense, just generally and i was praying to anyone who would listen that i’d find someone who’d understand. i’m glad i held on and didn’t break because a year later, i met you. funny how things turn out, right? i don’t even know why i’m telling you this. i just, i guess i just wanted to thank you for coming into my life. you’re the kind of person i always hoped i’d find.

four. i know i’m not the best at understanding emotions, but i feel them very deeply with you. please give me time. i promise i’ll get to know my feelings better.

five. seungmin told me earlier how i don’t say ‘i love you’ a lot. he’s right, but it’s only because i don’t want my expressions of love to be light. that’s why i don’t say it often because i don’t want it to be thrown around like that. i want to say it in important moments. but i find that i want to tell you that every day. i think it’s because every moment with you is important to me. so, please don’t think my words are empty when i say them too much. i promise it’s never light when i tell you i love you. i mean it. i mean it so much that sometimes it scares me.

six. do you know the exact moment i knew i was in love with you? i can still remember it clearly. it wasn’t anything crazy, in fact it was just an ordinary day. you were over at my dorm and we had been laughing at this romcom that just came out, and then i felt it. i felt it when i had looked at you, how i wouldn't mind doing this forever. i hope i can love you for the rest of my life.

seven. i always think back fondly of college because of you. it would've been hell if it wasn't with you.

eight. i was thinking earlier, about how fleeting life really is. i don't—i don't even know what triggered me to think about it. how someone could be alive one minute and then gone the next. i don't like that... i don't like how abrupt endings always are. i don't want any moment with you to be the last, god, i can't even bear the thought of losing you. ah, fuck, i'm crying. fuck, sorry. i just, please don't leave me. please don't let it happen to you. i know you have no control over it, but please, please, please. please.

nine. cheer up, darling. i know things don't look too good right now, but what if things just get better from now on? i promise that your efforts at healing are adding up, so just hold onto me for now. you will always have me to hold on to.

ten. you are the best thing that's ever been mine.

[spectralreplica]

Uhhhhhhhh Sburb AU!! This was more of an excuse to classpect and make sprites, so don’t ask me questions about plot details because I put like zero thought into it. Tsumugi probably had something to do with setting up the session, and she’s hiding her real title and the fact it’s not her first session. Baby Kiibo is a robot baby because I thought that was the funniest option.

Drawing with anti-aliasing off really brings me back...

Classpect thoughts under the cut if you really want:

Immediate caveat: I mention speculative stuff here like unconfirmed active/passive class pairs and inversion theory. If you don’t like those things or otherwise disagree with the titles I gave people that’s fine but just know I’m not super interested in debating about it and won’t reply.

So, to start out with I wanted to make the 8 of them a session, so I needed no overlaps in class or aspect and one Time + one Space. I also wanted to have Kaito and Kokichi as opposing aspects. In general, I think of a Title as kind of the end of your assigned character arc, so depending on your level of maturity/introspection at the start, it can seem either really obvious or really unintuitive. I tried to base them off of the hypothetical chapter 6/survivor versions of characters, since those (plus maybe the chapter 5 deaths) of the ones that get a full arc in DR canon.

Immediately Tsumugi seemed like a deadringer for Space, not so much because of the literal physics-related stuff but because of its associations with creation/narratives and setting things up for other people to act. I made her Sylph of Space here, but that's a facade. She's actually a Muse of Space who participated in past session(s) and wants to watch how things play out.

Based on the Extended Zodiac description, Kaito or Kaede has to be time, but Kokichi CANNOT be Space by any stretch of the imagination. I made her Heir of Time with the interpretation of Heir as someone who invites change/influences of/through their aspect. Time is also associated with music and death, which is both fitting and a little mean. (I can also see Kaede as Breath outside of having to have someone be Time.)

So moving onto Kaito and Kokichi, I was considering Hope vs Rage (belief vs doubt, possibility vs restrictions), but 1) Rage is defined partially by hatred of lies despite otherwise sounding Kokichi-ish (that alone could be interesting, with the possibility of a negative/reverse title or else giving him Hope and Kaito Rage for the unexpected swerve........) 2) I really wanted to give Hope to Kiibo. So instead I went with Heart and Mind (emotion vs logic, intuition vs planning, identity/motivation vs action/decisiveness).

Kokichi is Thief of Mind for taking away other people's decisions for his own purposes but also for generally "stealing" things (e.g., the Mastermind Role, narrative importance in general, along with literal items) through his own cleverness. Vs Kaito, a Knight of Heart, who uses his constructed identity as a weapon to face challenges. I'm also a fan of inversion theory, so I think at low points they'd both trend towards Page of Heart (grows powerful late in the narrative based on his own ego/identity) and Rogue of Mind (taking choices/agency/logic away from people for their own good), respectively.

I always wanted Kiibo to be Hope since 1) Ult. Hope Robot 2) big on possibilities/faith but can be a little self-centered. I went with Bard at least partially to make a "guess we know whether he has a dick or not now!" joke, but I also think "inviting destruction through Hope, inviting destruction of (false) hope" is pretty spot on for chapter 6 Kiibo. Like, as the camera/audience surrogate, he's been forced into passively leading the others to despair, not to mention how the audience takes him over to destroy the hope of ending the show. But Kiibo ends up reversing this and helping destroy the audience's faith in Danganronpa, destroying the whole academy in accordance with the vote. (Sidenote: I wonder if Kiibo gets taken over by Horrorterrors and goes grimdark? Or if he's just really, really susceptible to orders from his Exile)

Shuichi, Page of Void, was another one that immediately came to mind. Like, "starts off weak but becomes really strong/important by the end" is Shuichi's thing! Also, counterpart to Kaito's Knight. And Void is all about secrets, mystery, etc. From the Extended Zodiac: "Where others might be compelled to go out and seek answers, the Void-bound lean more toward casting doubt on what is already considered understood. They don't take much on faith and would rather live in a state of confusion- than believe something that might be untrue or bow to intellectual authority... At their best, Void-bound are wise, intuitive, and vibrant. At their worst, they can be dismissive, indecisive and apathetic." 

I had considering Light, for seeking out knowledge/truth, but Shuichi's character arc ends on "fuck you, I refuse to play. You all get nothing more from us" and learning to live with ambiguity, so I think he's way more Void. But, again, inversion would be Thief of Light, so selfishly taking away knowledge/importance from others.

Speaking of Light, I made Miu Mage of Light. Mage is like, active Seer, seeking out knowledge for yourself (vs advising others) and Light is luck, knowledge, and also importance/plot relevance. As an inventor, Miu keeps innovating and figuring things out, plus she's very motivated by her own importance to the world. She wants to be seen more than anything else and loves being smarter than those around her. Also: "At their best, the Light-bound are resourceful and driven. At their worst they can be fussy, pedantic, and insensitive." Inversion is Heir of Void, so "inviting change via hiding things" or "changing what's kept secret", which suits Miu when plotting murder.

Finally, Maki is Prince of Blood. Blood is trust, bonds, relationships, stubbornness, duty, obligation (vs freedom, change, choices) so "someone who breaks bonds/destroys relationships" but also "someone who destroys using/motivated by duty/relationships". Like, Maki is inherently a fracture point in the group because of her talent and then directly breaks the group apart and sabotages her relationships with the others in chapter 5, but also she's deeply motivated by her bonds to others in all of her destructive actions (protectiveness for orphanage/friend, love for Kaito). This sound super negative, but I think this is also the Maki who commits to destroying the institution of Danganronpa in chapter 6. Sometimes you have to be decisive and cut bad relationships out of your life.

Inversion would be Sylph of Breath, so "healing via change" or "encouraging growth towards freedom", which you can argue is sort of the way Kaito wants her to go? But she just doesn't. Idk, for better or worse, I think Maki is very aware of who she is and how people related to her, so even at her worst she's true to herself, vs, say, Kaito or Kokichi, who act "ooc".

[simplygojo]

The Devil He Made Me - Ch. 3

Authors Note: Hello friends!! Thank you to everyone who has been reading this so far, I appreciate the kind DMs I’ve gotten :) I’m excited for this series a lot so I hope you enjoy, and oh boy am I only getting started. Let me know if you’d like to be tagged in the next chapter!!

ALSO I have been getting some requests, I am super sick right now so I will get to them asap but I LOVE the ideas y’all are giving me!! THANK YOU!

Pairing: Satoru Gojo x f/reader

Series Summary : After being found by Gojo and his first year students in a sticky situation, y/n joins Jujutsu High under the close supervision of Gojo. As time passes, the two of you become close, with a strong unspoken bond forming as you work together. Although, there is something dark looming over the situation, and those at Jujutsu High are determined to get to the bottom of it, before it is too late.

Chapter Summary : Tensions rise as Gojo and the first-years return from their mission, only to find y/n grappling with the growing mystery of her cursed energy. After a fateful encounter with Maki, and an accidental release of power, the higher-ups demand answers. Gojo decides to bring y/n along on their next mission, but when her cursed energy flares uncontrollably during a high-level curse battle, questions of who—or what—she truly is become impossible to ignore.

Word Count : 5k

Warnings : Some general violence, suggestive themes

Previous Chapter | Next Chapter

The mission at the community college had been tedious but successful. Gojo, Megumi, Nobara, and Yuji walked back onto school grounds, a mix of exhaustion and satisfaction hanging in the air. The sun was already sinking, casting the campus in a soft, warm glow. Despite the day’s events, Gojo’s stride remained as casual as ever, hands resting behind his head, as though he hadn’t just helped exorcise multiple curses.

Megumi was the first to notice you, pacing anxiously near the common area, your movements restless. He nudged Yuji, who caught on immediately and called out, “Y/n! We’re back!”

You stopped mid-step, eyes lighting up with excitement as you walked over to the group. “You guys! You’re back! I’ve been waiting to tell you something!”

Gojo quirked a brow, his usual playful smile stretching across his face, watching you cheerfully walk towards him. “Oh? Miss me?”

You rolled your eyes, though a grin tugged at your lips, your heart produced an extra beat. But, you ignored his comment. “I ran into Maki earlier, and…” You paused for dramatic effect, looking between Yuji, Megumi, and Nobara. “I accidentally released cursed energy. Actual cursed energy!”

There was a moment of silence as your words sunk in. Yuji’s face lit up like a firework, excitement practically bubbling out of him. “No way! That’s awesome, y/n!”

Nobara, leaning against the doorframe with her arms crossed, raised an eyebrow. “Accidentally? Or are you secretly getting good at this?” She teased with a smile.

You gave a sheepish shrug, the memory of Maki’s provocation still fresh in your mind. “I wasn’t really trying. It just… happened. Maki kind of…well to sum it up I guess I just got frustrated.”

Gojo stepped closer, his curiosity piqued. “Frustration, huh? Strong emotions are usually a pretty good trigger for cursed energy.”

Megumi regarded you with his typical calm, analytical stare. “Was it controlled, or was it just a flare?”

“I think it was more of a flare,” you admitted. “But it was something. Everyone here has been waiting for me to do something.”

Yuji clapped you on the back with an encouraging grin. “Hey, progress is progress! You’re on your way.”

“Mm, a fluke maybe,” Nobara teased, though there was a hint of approval in her voice. “But if you’re already producing cursed energy by accident, imagine what you could do on purpose!”

You couldn’t help but feel a small sense of pride swell in your chest. For the first time since being found in the forest, you felt like you had a tiny bit of control over the strange circumstances you found yourself in. 

Gojo’s voice interrupted your thoughts, his tone light but with a strange undercurrent that you couldn’t quite place. “Well, fluke or not, it’s a good sign. Guess I’m doing a pretty decent job with your training after all.”

Your eyes narrowed playfully at him. “You’re giving yourself too much credit.”

“Oh, come on,” he grinned, leaning a little too close, his voice dropping to a teasing whisper. “You know I’m the best you’ve ever had.” He let out a loud chuckle. “Best teacher, that is.”

You opened your mouth to retort but thought better of it, deciding not to feed into his usual antics. Instead, you took a step back, straightening up. “Yeah, well, I still don’t know how to use the cursed energy.”

Gojo’s grin softened just a bit, “Well then, that’s your focus for the next few days.” You nodded quietly, feeling the weight of the task settling on your shoulders. Without another word, you turned away, heading back to the couches to gather your things. The others had already started heading to their rooms, leaving you in the common area with only the faint echoes of their retreating footsteps.

As you bent down to collect your jacket, you felt eyes on you. Glancing up, you realized Gojo hadn’t left with the others. He stood there, casually leaning against the doorway, watching you with an unreadable expression.

“Is there something else, Gojo?” you asked, unsure why he was lingering.

“Not really,” he said shortly. His usual cocky grin had faded, replaced by a gentle smile that seemed strangely out of place—content, almost peaceful—nothing like the Gojo you were used to. “You know, y/n, most of the students around here call me ‘sensei,’” he added with a teasing lilt as you approached.

You let out a soft laugh, shaking your head. “I’m not doing that. Besides, we’re practically the same age. And I didn’t ask for you to be my teacher, so I think it’s fair I just call you by your name.”

As you tried to step past him, he moved quickly, his arm extending across the doorway, blocking your path. You froze, blinking up at him in surprise, caught off guard by the sudden proximity.

“So, that means we have a more casual relationship, then…” he said, his voice low, his gaze fixed on you with an intensity that made your pulse quicken.

You stared at him, unsure how to respond. There was no way he was serious. Gojo was a notorious tease, always testing boundaries with his playful charm. You told yourself this was just another one of his games—something to fluster you, to keep you on your toes. He didn’t mean anything by it… right?

With a shrug, you forced yourself to meet his gaze, hoping your smirk looked as confident as you wanted it to. “I guess so,” you replied, the words coming out more smug than you intended.

Before he could say anything else, you ducked swiftly under his arm, slipping past him and into the hallway. You kept your pace steady, resisting the urge to glance back, but you could feel his eyes on you the whole way.

Gojo watched you as you walked away, his thoughts lingering on the way you spoke to him, the way you moved, the way you handled yourself. There was something about you—something different, something he couldn’t quite put into words. You weren’t intimidated by him. Not in the way most people were. You challenged him in a way that made him feel… unsettled. Intrigued.

He couldn’t help but smile to himself, shaking his head as he pushed off from the doorway and followed in the direction you had gone. There was a lot he didn’t understand about you yet. But one thing was certain—you were far more interesting than he had expected.

—

Later that evening, after everyone had settled back into their routines, you found yourself alone in the common area, curled up on the couch with a book that Inumaki had lent you about the inner workings of cursed energy. It was peaceful, the kind of quiet that you had grown to appreciate after the chaos of training and missions. You absentmindedly flipped through the pages, your mind wandering back to the encounter with Maki.

It had been such a small moment—an accident, really. But the cursed energy that flared from your hands had felt real, like something buried deep within you–something that wasn’t there before–had been awakened, however briefly. You had no memory of your life before being found in that forest, but for the first time, you wondered if this power had always been inside you.

Your thoughts were interrupted by the sound of footsteps. You glanced up to see Gojo sauntering into the room, his hands in his pockets and his signature grin plastered on his face. He plopped down beside you on the couch without so much as a greeting, stretching out his long legs and letting out a content sigh.

“Enjoying the quiet?” he asked, his voice calm as he leaned closer to you to see what you were reading.

You shrugged, closing your book. “It’s nice… for a change.”

For a moment, neither of you said anything. The silence wasn’t uncomfortable, but you couldn’t shake the feeling that there was something Gojo wasn’t saying. His usually playful demeanor seemed… muted. And it wasn’t like him to sit still for this long.

Eventually, he broke the silence. “Are you sure you don’t remember anything? From the forest?”

Your stomach flipped at the question. You had gone over this a hundred times with Shoko, but every time he brought it up, his voice had a new edge—like he wasn’t just asking out of curiosity anymore.

“I’ve told you,” you said, a little more defensively than you intended. “I don’t remember anything. It’s all a blur. I’m not some enemy trying to infiltrate the ‘jujutsu world’ or whatever.”

Gojo tilted his head, his smile softening into something that almost looked like concern. “No strange dreams? No flashes of memory? Nothing?”

“No,” you replied firmly, though his questions had begun to unsettle you. “Why? Do you think there’s something I should remember?”

Gojo leaned his head back and let his gaze drift to the ceiling. You noticed his jaw clench as he did so. "Nah, I just thought that maybe something might come back eventually."

You narrowed your eyes at him, not quite believing his casual tone. “Is that really why you’re asking?”

Gojo chuckled, though it was a bit more forced than usual. “Maybe I’m just worried about you.”

“Worried about me?” You raised an eyebrow. “Since when did you become a big worrier?”

“Since I found you half-conscious in a forest with no memory,” he replied smoothly, though there was a new tension in his voice. 

There it was—the shift you had been sensing in him lately. He was always teasing, always playing around, but in the past few weeks, there had been moments like this where something in his tone changed. Like he was watching you more closely, paying attention in a way that made your skin tingle and your heart flutter. But just as quickly as it came, it disappeared. His usual smirk returned, and the moment passed.

“Don’t overthink it,” Gojo said, standing up abruptly, a mischievous glint in his eye. “I’m a curious guy, and you’re a mystery to us all right now.” He paused, patting down his pockets as if searching for something. “That means you really are just my type, y/n.”

Your breath hitched slightly at his words, but before you could say anything, he casually pulled a small white pastry box from his pocket and placed it on the couch cushion where he had just been sitting. “Picked this up today in Tokyo while heading back from the mission,” he added with a nonchalant shrug before strolling toward the door.

You stared at the box, trying to process the whirlwind that was Gojo Satoru. One moment he was making cryptic comments, the next he was leaving you sweets. ‘What a strange guy,’ you thought to yourself, shaking your head at his unpredictability. There was always something about him that kept you guessing, that made it impossible to fully figure him out. He was an enigma, equal parts charm and mystery, with a habit of leaving you just as intrigued as you were confused.

Curiosity finally got the best of you, and you reached for the box, unfolding it to reveal a freshly baked, delicious-smelling chocolate chunk cookie. You couldn’t help the small smile that tugged at your lips as you stared down at the treat, warmth spreading in your chest. For all his teasing and unpredictability, Gojo had a way of surprising you in the most unexpected ways.

Taking a bite, you practically melted at the taste—it was perfect, like everything else he seemed to do effortlessly. As you savoured the sweetness, you glanced at the door where Gojo had disappeared.

‘Maybe he’s not as impossible as I thought,’ you mused, biting back a grin. Even if he was a strange guy, maybe, just maybe, there was more to him than he let on. And with that, you enjoyed your treat and returned to your studies.

—

Meanwhile, in the administrative wing of the school, Nanami, Principal Yaga, and a few other higher-ranking sorcerers had gathered for a private meeting. The topic of conversation was you—and the growing concern surrounding your mysterious past.

Nanami sat at the table, his brow furrowed as he listened to the others discuss the situation. He had always been one to trust his instincts, and something about you didn’t sit right with him. He wasn’t suspicious of you, per se, but the circumstances surrounding your discovery were troubling.

“We still have no idea where she came from,” one of the sorcerers said, shaking his head. “No family, no records. It’s like she just appeared out of nowhere.”

Principal Yaga nodded thoughtfully, his hands clasped in front of him. “And she has no memory of anything before we found her?”

“None,” Nanami confirmed. “Shoko has done multiple tests. Everything comes up clean. But that doesn’t mean she’s not dangerous.”

Nanami’s words hung in the air, the unspoken implications clear. While you hadn’t shown any signs of malicious intent, the lack of information made everyone uneasy. In the world of jujutsu sorcery, too many unknowns could lead to disaster.

“What about her cursed energy?” Yaga asked.

“She’s shown some potential,” Nanami replied. “But it’s raw. Uncontrolled.”

“And Gojo?” another sorcerer chimed in. “He’s the one working with her most closely.”

Nanami’s jaw tightened slightly at the mention of Gojo’s name. “Gojo believes she’s harmless. But he also has a tendency to take risks.”

Principal Yaga’s eyes narrowed, clearly weighing the situation carefully. “We can’t afford to ignore this. If there’s even a chance she could become a threat…”

“We should monitor her more closely,” Nanami suggested. “Let her accompany Gojo and his students on missions. That way, we can observe how her cursed energy reacts in different situations.”

There was a murmur of agreement around the table, though the atmosphere remained tense. No one wanted to treat you as an enemy, but the unpredictability of your situation was too great to ignore.

Principal Yaga leaned back in his chair, his expression grim. “Keep an eye on her. But if anything changes—if she shows any sign of being a threat—we’ll have to eliminate her.”

Nanami nodded, though there was a heaviness in his chest. He didn’t want to think the worst of you, but he couldn’t shake the feeling that there was more to your story than anyone realized.

—

It was two days later when Gojo approached you with the news.

“You’re coming with us on the next mission,” he said casually, as though it were the most normal thing in the world.

You blinked, looking up from where you were seated on the outdoor training grounds, a faint breeze rustling through the trees as you practiced your breathing exercises. “Wait, what? I’m going with you?”

Gojo strolled over, hands stuffed in his pockets, before plopping down on the grass beside you, stretching out in his usual relaxed manner. “Yep. Nanami and the higher-ups want to see how you handle real-life situations with curses, so you’ll be tagging along. It’s mostly for observation, though. Don’t worry, I won’t throw you into the fire.”

You frowned, setting aside the faint energy you had been trying to summon. Your fingers trailed over the grass absentmindedly as you narrowed your eyes at him. “And you’re okay with that? Letting them spy on me?”

Gojo’s expression didn’t shift much, but his eyes—those usually carefree, playful eyes—darkened just a little. “They’re just being cautious. No need to take it personally.”

“Right,” you muttered, sarcasm lacing your tone. “Because being treated like a ticking time bomb is totally not personal.”

Gojo sighed, leaning back on his arms and staring up at the blue sky. “It’s not that simple. You’re still a puzzle to everyone, including yourself. Until we know more about where you came from and what you’re capable of, there’s going to be some hesitation. You get that, don’t you?”

You hated to admit it, but he was right. You had no idea who you really were or what had happened to you before Gojo and the first-years found you in that forest. As much as you wanted to believe you were harmless, the unknowns surrounding your situation were hard to ignore.

Still, it stung to be treated like an experiment.

“So, what exactly am I supposed to do on this mission?” you asked, shifting the topic slightly, your voice quieter now.

Gojo’s grin returned, though there was still a hint of seriousness beneath it. “Observe, mostly. Keep an eye on how curses react around you and try to get a feel for controlling your cursed energy in a real situation. I’ll be there to guide you, so no need to panic.”

You shot him a skeptical look, brushing stray grass off your pants. “That’s reassuring.”

He chuckled, leaning in a little closer, his voice lowering just enough to send a shiver down your spine. “Trust me. I’ve got you.”

For a brief moment, his playful mask seemed to slip, and you caught a glimpse of something deeper in his eyes—something protective. It was fleeting, though, and before you could dwell on it, Gojo was back to his usual self, standing up and stretching his arms over his head.

“Anyway, get some rest tonight. We leave early tomorrow.”

He gave you one last lazy wave before turning to head back toward the school, leaving you to sit in the growing twilight, the weight of his words settling in. Trust him… Easier said than done.

—

The next morning, you found yourself standing alongside Gojo, Megumi, and Yuji at the gates of the school. The atmosphere was unusually tense, likely due to the nature of the mission. Gojo had explained that the team had been called to investigate a cemetery that had been plagued by a high-level curse, and while it was supposed to be routine, there was always the possibility that things could go sideways.

You weren’t sure how you felt about being thrown into the mix so soon, especially after the incident with Maki. But Gojo had insisted that it would be fine, and as much as you hated to admit it, you trusted him. His carefree attitude aside, Gojo had proven time and time again that he was more than capable of handling dangerous situations.

“Ready for your first mission?” Yuji asked, bouncing on his heels with excitement.

You offered a small smile, though your stomach was doing flips. “As ready as I’ll ever be.”

“Don’t worry, we’ve got your back,” He said, giving you a reassuring nod. “Just stick close to us.”

Megumi, standing a little further back, glanced at you with his usual unreadable expression. “If anything happens, don’t hesitate to use your cursed energy, even if it’s just a flare. These curses are quick.”

You nodded, appreciating his calm presence. Even though you hadn’t known Megumi for long, there was something about him that put you at ease. Maybe it was his no-nonsense attitude or the way he always seemed to have things under control. Either way, it helped.

Gojo led the way as the group set off toward the cemetery. It wasn’t too far from the school grounds, but the oppressive energy that seemed to hang over the area was enough to send a chill down your spine. As you approached the iron gates, you could feel the cursed energy in the air—thick, heavy, and familiar...

“This is it,” Gojo said, his tone more serious than you were used to. “Stay close, and don’t wander off. We don’t know exactly what we’re dealing with yet.”

The cemetery was eerily quiet as you all stepped inside. The overgrown grass rustled faintly in the wind, and the gravestones seemed to loom larger than they should have. You could feel the cursed energy pulsing beneath your feet, like the ground itself was alive with something dark and dangerous.

Gojo motioned for the group to spread out slightly, keeping a cautious distance from each other as they scanned the area for any signs of the curse. You stayed close to Yuji, your heart pounding in your chest as you tried to keep your own cursed energy in check. It was difficult—the atmosphere here made your skin prickle, and you could feel your cursed energy stirring just beneath the surface. 

“Stay calm,” Gojo’s voice rang out softly, his eyes sharp as they scanned the cemetery. “We’ll handle whatever comes our way.”

You nodded, swallowing hard as you tried to focus on keeping your energy under control. But something about this place was getting to you. The air felt thick, suffocating, and you couldn’t shake the feeling that something was watching you.

Suddenly, Megumi stopped, his eyes narrowing as he pointed ahead. “There.”

At first, you didn’t see it, but then, out of the corner of your eye, you caught a glimpse of movement. A shadow, slipping between the gravestones, too fast to track. Your heart skipped a beat as the cursed energy in the air spiked, the oppressive force nearly knocking you off balance.

“It’s moving,” Yuji said, tensing as he prepared for a fight.

Gojo’s grin returned, though there was a sharpness in his eyes that told you he was ready for whatever was coming. “Alright, team. Let’s make this quick!” 

The curse made itself known then, rising from the shadows, a grotesque figure with six twisted limbs and three hollow eyes. It moved with unnatural speed, lunging toward Megumi with a snarl, but he was quick to summon his shikigami, meeting the attack head-on.

The battle erupted around you, and for a moment, you were frozen, unsure of what to do. Your cursed energy was still pulsing wildly inside you, but you didn’t know how to control it. You could only watch as Yuji and Megumi moved with practiced precision, their cursed techniques flowing effortlessly as they fought off the creature. And that is when you noticed a lack of Gojo’s presence. You were just stood there watching, frozen in place.

Suddenly, you felt a surge of cursed energy within yourself—stronger than anything you’d felt before. It came out of nowhere, like a dam breaking, and you gasped as the energy flared to life around you. The sensation was overwhelming, electric, as it crackled along your skin, raw and untamed. Your breath hitched, memories of your accidental release in front of Maki flashing in your mind. But this time, there was something different—this time, you could feel it building in your palms, swirling with more intensity than ever before.

“Y/n!” Gojo’s voice cut through the haze, sharp with concern. You blinked, trying to regain your focus, but everything around you seemed to blur. Out of the corner of your eye, you saw a figure moving jaggedly toward you—a curse, creeping closer.

Your heartbeat quickened, panic rising. Your mind screamed at you to move, to act, but your body felt frozen in place, the cursed energy continuing to surge uncontrollably within you. The adrenaline hit you like a wave, along with an undeniable frustration—an anger, even—at feeling so powerless. Your body reacted on instinct.

Without thinking, your hands glowed a bright blue, cursed energy pouring into your palms. It was hot, too hot, burning as it built up, and before you could process what was happening, you let it go. The blast of raw power shot forward, aimed directly at the curse.

The energy struck the creature with a force that staggered it, causing it to shriek in pain. The cursed form writhed as it absorbed the blow, disoriented and vulnerable. It gave Yuji the opening he needed. He didn’t waste a second, leaping forward with a yell and delivering a final blow laced with a streak of red cursed energy. The curse crumbled into ash, dissolving into the wind.

For a moment, everything was still.

You stood there, breathless, the remnants of cursed energy buzzing faintly across your skin. Your hands tingled, shaking slightly as if they hadn’t quite registered the release of power. The cemetery, once filled with the sounds of battle, was now eerily silent. And then, you noticed it—all eyes were on you. Yuji, Megumi, even Gojo. Everyone was staring, as though they had just witnessed something… different, something they hadn’t expected from you.

The weight of their gazes made your chest tighten. You felt exposed, vulnerable, like a secret part of you had just been revealed—one that you didn’t fully understand yourself.

Gojo was the first to speak, stepping closer. His usual playful demeanor had dimmed, replaced with an emotion you couldn’t quite place. Concern? Pride? Maybe both. His voice was uncharacteristically soft, yet carried a strange intensity. “Well, that was impressive, but a close one, y/n.”

His words hit you like a cold splash of water, pulling you out of your daze. You looked down at your hands, still trembling. “I… I didn’t mean to do that,” you murmured, almost to yourself.

Yuji came up behind you, his hand landing on your back in a reassuring pat. His smile was warm, but his eyes reflected a hint of worry. “Accidental or not, you helped. That’s what matters.”

Even Megumi, who was always so stoic, nodded at you, his gaze steady. “You did well.”

Despite their reassurances, a sinking feeling formed in the pit of your stomach. That power you had unleashed—it didn’t feel like it was entirely yours. The cursed energy felt foreign, almost as though it had been pulled from somewhere deep inside, a place you hadn’t known existed. The sensation unsettled you.

As you stood there, still trying to process what had just happened, you could feel Gojo’s eyes on you. Unlike the others, his expression wasn’t one of relief or approval—it was far more unreadable. His gaze lingered longer than usual, as if he were trying to unravel something, some mystery that only he could sense.

It was the same question that had hung silently between you since the day he found you.

What are you?

His silence carried that question now, as did the way he watched you with a mix of curiosity and concern. He didn’t say it, but you knew. You could feel it. And what scared you most was the nagging fear that you might not want to know the answer.

“You two go see if there are any other low level curses lingering, meet us back here.” Gojo instructed to Yuji and Megumi, who quickly went to secure the area.

Gojo’s voice broke through your thoughts once more, this time quieter, more subdued. “You’re pushing yourself too hard,” he said, his tone laced with an unspoken concern. He took a quick step toward you. “You’re still new to this. You shouldn’t be able to summon cursed energy that strong… not yet.”

You looked up at him, the faint tremor still lingering in your hands, tears welling in your eyes, threatening to spill over. It took you a second to fully realize just how close he was—closer than he usually stood. Your breath caught in your throat as you noticed his blindfold, usually obscuring his gaze, now hung loosely around his neck. It was startling, seeing his ocean-blue eyes for the first time without any barrier, and they were locked onto yours, as if searching for something beneath your surface.

His gaze was intense, almost too much to bear, like a storm brewing just behind the calm sea of his eyes. The way he looked at you, so deeply, so fully—it felt like he could see right through you, down to the very core of your being. Your heart pounded in your chest, and for a moment, it was as though the world had shrunk down to just the two of you standing there, in the aftermath of whatever it was that had just happened.

“I don’t know what happened,” your voice was barely a whisper, shaky, raw with emotion. “It just… came out. Like I couldn’t stop it. I-I’m sorry.”

His frown deepened, the sharp edges of his usual confidence dulling as his expression softened in a way you hadn’t seen before. His eyes, so clear and unguarded now, reflected something you hadn’t expected to see in him: worry. For the briefest moment, the mask he wore, the one that shielded him from the world, slipped. His vulnerability was laid bare, just for you to see.

“That’s exactly what worries me,” he murmured, more to himself than to you, his voice a low, hushed tone that sent a shiver down your spine. His words lingered in the air, heavy with a meaning that neither of you fully understood yet.

For a second, his hand twitched, like he was about to reach out, to touch you, but he stopped himself. The space between you felt charged, a tension hanging in the air that was as palpable as the energy crackling through your fingertips earlier. His closeness, the warmth of his presence, the way his gaze softened as it held yours—it all felt too much, and yet, not enough. You could feel the pull between you, something unspoken, lingering in the narrow distance that separated you.

But then, just as quickly as it had appeared, that moment of vulnerability was gone. Gojo stepped back, the mask of his usual calm, collected self sliding back into place like a practiced routine. His playful smirk returned, though there was still something different about it, like the echoes of his concern hadn’t fully faded yet.

“Don’t think too much about it for now,” he said, his tone light but his gaze still serious. “Just… rest. We’ll figure this out. You’re okay.” And with two fingers he lifted his blindfold back into place.

You nodded, though your mind was far from calm. Your hands still shook slightly, your heart still raced from the intensity of the moment. But more than anything, it was the memory of his eyes, his bare, unfiltered gaze, that lingered long after he turned to walk away, leaving you with more questions than answers.

As Gojo turned to walk away, his usual swagger in each step, you couldn’t shake the feeling that something was shifting—that this wasn’t just about you anymore. All of the mystery surrounding you was concerning.

And in that moment, you realized he wasn’t just concerned about your situation—he was concerned for you.

[la2yn0va]

We need a part 2 where stellaron hunter M/n meeting the trio was like blade being taken to Jing yuan. And M/n either being emotionless or always having a permanent smile like kafka. WE NEED ANGST but some fluff

Well… that didn’t take long.

———

“I must thank you for leading your assistance” Jing yuan said as he faced Moze and Jiaoqiu form the Xianzhou yaoqing. “Of course general.. criminals like the stellaron hunters are a threat to the entire alliance” Jiaoqiu responded with a confident smile as Jing yuan nodded.

“Indeed jiaoqiu. The nameless have also decided to lend a hand. They are in pursuit of stellaron hunter kafka. The one you seek—M/n, was last seen at the Cloudford: Cargo Lane” Jing yuan informed the two who nodded and walked away. “M/n… it’s… hard to imagine someone like him would actually join the stellaron hunters” Yukong said sorrowfully, remembering the battle hungry yet kind solider she once served with.

“I understand your sentiment Yukong… perhaps if general feixiao gave m/n a temporary discharge. He’d still be with us” Jing yuan said, remembering the stories he’d heard of the ‘yaoqing’s generational miracle solider’ meanwhile with jiaoqiu and moze, they had arrived at the cargo lane.

“Careful jiaoqiu. M/n.. is not the same person we once knew” “I-I’m aware of that…!” “But are you prepared to face him as an enemy?” Moze questioned which earned silence from the foxian “…I guess we’re about to find out” he replied as they turned a corner and stopping, seeing m/n. Just out in the open!

“T-that’s him…! He’s…he’s actually here…!” Jiaoqiu said with slight disbelief while moze scanned the environment “why is he out in the open… hes smarter than that… are their traps somewhere…?” He questioned before jiaoqiu clenched his fist and ran in “Ah-! Oi!” Moze reached out but it was for naught. So, he quickly disappeared into the shadows.

Jiaoqiu jogged to m/n, throwing some spices towards him and snapping his fingers causing Fire to erupt from the spices, which m/n quickly dodged. “Hey! It’s my downtime!” M/n said as he faced jiaoqiu “…hey… do I know you…?” Jiaoqiu let out a small grunt, clearly annoyed yet saddened at the question.

“Doesn’t matter. Leave me alone. I don’t have a reason to hurt you” m/n advised turning his back to jiaoqiu and beginning to walk away, which seemed to irk the fox further “don’t you dare turn your back to me…!! You don’t GET to turn YOUR BACK ON ME!!!” He yelled in anger as m/n dodged an attack from below, releasing a small ‘tch’ “great. A universally wanted criminal can’t get down time now.” He responded, summoning a scythe and running towards Jiaoqiu.

M/n swung at jiaoqiu, who dodged nimbly and threw some fire at him again—which m/n dodged. They continued this game of cat and mouse before m/n finally grabbed his collar with his scythe and pulled him into a knee attack.

Jiaoqiu coughed up spit, but he quickly grabbed him tightly, refusing to let him go “M/n… I could never beat you in a fight… you were always better then me in every category…!” “H-Hey! Let go—!” “LOOK AT MY EYES! DONT TELL ME YOUVE FORGOTTEN ME!!” Jiaoqiu yelled desperately, his eyes holding back tears as he glared into the depths of m/n’s soul and mind. “…Foxy…! Oh… it’s you—!” He gets cut off as Moze appears behind him and chops his neck.

Jiaoqiu looked shocked for a second before regaining his composure and standing up, m/n’s limp body being held and restrained by moze’s tight yet gentle grip. “You shouldn’t allow your emotions to cloud your body!” He said sternly, making jiaoqiu look away shamefully. “…I know.. I apologize… let’s take him back to feixiao… we need to find out why he— find out the info he has on the hunters” moze with a stern look nodded as the two left the storage area.

-Timeskip-

“Ugh…shit…” m/n groaned as he blinked away his blurry vision. He looked up to see a white haired—dull blue eyes foxian woman. She didn’t wear a smile nor a scowl, but a sad yet stern glare—Feixiao.

M/n stared blankly for a few moments whilst feixiao stared deeply into his eyes. A majority part of her rejected the fact that was in front of her—You, a stellaron hunter now in an interrogation room. How could this actually be reality? How could life be this cruel? Especially to you, who wanted nothing more than a life of fun and to die with close friends.

Feixiao:…Do you…remember me?

She asked, a hint of desperation in her voice as her glare hardened. As if she were trying to transfer her memories of you into you through eye contact. He stared before smiling “I do… where’s moze and jiaoqiu? Surely they’d want to see me. Especially little foxy” he said with a smile that held none of its usual mirth.

Feixiao felt her eyebrow twitch. Was this truly the same m/n she’d lost all those years ago? Or was this some sick parasite using her friends body as a god damn meat puppet?! “…Why’re the stellaron hunters in the luofu!” she spoke loudly, trying to drown out her thoughts with loudness.

“Hah? Come on feixiao~ you see me after.. however long it’s been, and you don’t even hug me?” “I asked you a question…! Criminal!” M/n still held his empty smile at the general’s scowl “Relax. We’re not here to destroy the xianzhou in any way~ we’re mearly here to… Help”

Feixiao: Help?

M/n: Help. Worry not. Your precious alliance and spaceship will stay safe

Feixiao:…Enough of this!

She leaned in and grabbed his collar, pulling him in close “WHY THE HELL ARE YOU A STELLARON HUNTER!!” She yelled as m/n stared blankly with an equally blank smile “Sheesh. No need to get violent. Ya could’ve just asked ya know~?” That seemed to irritate the general more. She threw the table to the side and picked him up before slamming him against the wall. “Don’t mess with me m/n! Where the hell did you go after that battle! WHY did you leave…!! You were… did you even care about us!?”

“So many questions… which to answer?” She pushed him harder against the wall making him wince in pain for the first time in this interaction “DONT. FUCK. WITH ME” she warned “Alright! Fine… I can’t answer” “Excuse me?” “All those questions you asked. I’m refrained from answering. Well, except for like two of those” he said dismissively, at this point her eyes were glowing from anger, was this a fucking game to him!? We’re her… we’re THEIR feelings just a fucking joke!!?

“I do care for you three. How could I not? You three were the only ones that I actually cared about. Buuttt.. well, destiny had bigger plans for me then to fight against the abundance” that answer seemed to irk her even more. Why can’t he just answer her! “That doesn’t answer my question!! Why did you leave us!!” “I had my reasons. But for now let’s just leave it at me being… confused and going on a soul searching journey. Okay?”

As feixiao was going to ask another question, m/n headbutted her and kicked her away as he was being teleported away in pixels. “Finally. Took that shortie long enough” he said as he saw the door swing open to revel Moze and Jiaoqiu. Feixiao recovered and stared in shock before all three of them ran to m/n to grab him before he left “This was nice. Perhaps I’ll visit you three again soon” he said before disappearing from them, inches away from their hands.

-The End-

[theelastword]

i saw a very interesting post recently from @fellthemarvelous about how Aziraphale is often treated the way female love interests are— likely because his hobbies and emotions are more traditionally feminine whereas crowley’s style and anger are more traditionally masculine despite the fact that neither of them are gendered. the thesis of the post was essentially that because crowley is the one who fell, fans have decided that aziraphale only exists to comfort and protect and bring peace to crowley rather than be his own person with his own emotions and ambitions. i’d never been able to put this into words, but it’s like this person stole what i was feeling right from my brain and i am so thankful to their eloquence.

but it did get me thinking about the end of season 2— specifically how many fans, even people who defend aziraphale for what he did, believe that the “only” way for his choices in the finale to be valid are if he did them for crowley’s safety/well-being. i’ve seen so many arguments along the lines of “oh, he has to go back so he can fix Heaven for Crowley and make him heal from falling” or “oh, he has to go back to Heaven because if he doesn’t, Metatron could go after crowley and he needs to keep him safe”. and while both of these very popular aziraphale-defenses are valid (this is not an attack on anyone’s opinion!) and i wouldn’t be surprised if they played into his reasoning for leaving, i can’t help but think of that lovely person’s female-love-interest argument.

i don’t actually think aziraphale leaving for heaven needs to be related to crowley at all. it can, of course— and likely does— but aziraphale has gone through just as much Heaven-induced trauma as crowley has, something that many fans (and even the characters themselves, sometimes) like to forget. aziraphale knows first-hand how abusive Heaven is to young angels and humans who they deem unworthy of being saved. and so to me, it is just as valid if it turns out aziraphale going back to Heaven wasn’t “for” crowley at all, but rather a way to protect these other generations from the abuse of Heaven that aziraphale has witnessed and been victim to. is it so hard or unacceptable to think that aziraphale could make a choice that doesn’t have to do with his love life? he is not obligated—nor is crowley!— to live entirely as though he’s making something up/repaying/protecting his love interest. that kind codependency is not something to idolize. i guess what i’m trying to say here is that there are other reasons to go back to Heaven having nothing to do with keeping crowley safe, and while that is a perfectly valid interpretation, i’m not personally a fan of the widespread belief that it’s the only interpretation that makes what aziraphale did “forgivable”.

EDIT/ADDITION: i ALSO think that this is why i’m so bothered by the argument that while Crowley being “selfish” and choosing his own path at the end of s2 is perfectly valid, aziraphale doing the exact same thing is not. i do not blame either one of them for making a different choice, but in my opinion far too many people believe that crowley had a right to his own autonomy and do what he thought was best for himself, whereas somehow it was Aziraphale’s job to choose the same thing in accordance to what was most healthy for CROWLEY and not for himself/his own ambitions as regards to Heaven. people think that crowley has an obligation to do what is best for crowley, but that aziraphale’s subsequent obligation is to also do what’s best for crowley. no one seems to particularly care what may be best for aziraphale. at the end of the day, if one of them can make a self-prioritizing choice, the other can, too. aziraphale is his own person, not a love interest!!!!

[mrspasser]

I saw you on the train - Sterek Fanfic

Sterek fanfiction, shamelessly based on this Tumblr post by @tsaiko. (OP, please let me know if I overstepped!) This is also on A03.

I saw you on the train

Derek gets on the subway after work, mentally bracing himself for having to deal with people because he didn’t charge his phone last night. Or he did, but his pup chewed through his charger cable and he frankly didn’t notice the nearly empty battery until he was already at the office. Any other day he loves his old brick of a phone, but today it was a bit of a bother that nobody had a charger that he could borrow. Ergo, he has no music to drone out the conversations of the other passengers.

He makes his way a little down the train car and sits down in an open seat. Across the aisle and one seat down are two men, mid to late twenties. They’re having one of those whisper-shout conversations with each other, where the words at the end of each sentence get louder with their anger, before they remind themselves that they are in public and go back to furious whispering. Derek can tell they are trying to be quiet, but emotions are high. Things are tense between them, it’s obvious within a few minutes of involuntary eavesdropping.

He knows he should try to ignore them, but it’s pretty hard to do. They’re in Derek’s direct line of sight and one of them has the most mesmerising whiskey coloured eyes he has ever seen. Right now, the lines around the young man’s eyes are hard and stressed, yet Derek can imagine the twinkle that would be there when he’s in better spirits. It fits the slight uptick of his nose. Somehow he just knows the guy can be a nuisance in all the best ways. He has an expressive face, which makes him far more interesting to Derek than his more generically handsome partner, who has neatly styled brown hair and blue eyes.

It’s an easy guess that the two of them are in a relationship, even though the expected easy chemistry is missing. But there aren’t many people that would be fighting in public, except when they’re in a close, intimate relationship. It’s a bit odd that they chose to have a discussion about the future of their relationship on the subway during rush hour, but whatever, they probably had a head of steam up on this topic. 

It's a relationship drama that doesn’t involve Derek, yet he’s kind of forced to listen to it as one of the few people without headphones in the direct vicinity. There’s an older woman that glances curiously in the direction of the two men every now and then, but she’s reading a travel guide in a language that Derek can’t place, so chances are her English isn’t good enough to know what the two are talking about. 

The gist of their discussion is that the one with the blue eyes wants to move forward with their relationship, maybe move in together, while Whiskey Eyes wants to slow down. Suddenly, Mr. Generic breaks in with a story about how his mom hates the city, but she moved to New York to stay with his dad and has lived there for twenty years now. And then he actually says the words: “Because relationships are about sacrifices.”

Whiskey Eyes looks like he wants to argue that point - which Derek can understand - yet he decides to follow his boyfriend’s reasoning. “And what have you sacrificed for our relationship?”

The barely hidden sarcasm in the question is apparently lost on Mr. Generic, because he has the audacity to come up with something or other he missed out on because he went with his boyfriend to a wedding. “We flew all the way back to California for your step brother’s wedding. I even had to sleep on the floor of your childhood bedroom!”

Like Derek, Whiskey Eyes is totally unimpressed with that answer and even rolls his eyes. Of course, his boyfriend doesn’t like that and their whispered argument continues. Derek can’t exactly hear what they’re saying, though it’s apparent that things aren’t getting better. Then, in a voice clear as day, Whiskey Eyes asks: “Name one thing I’m interested in.”

Mr. Generic freezes. He does a pretty decent impression of a store mannequin, with the vacant expression and the empty eyes. Derek can almost hear the dial tone coming from his brain. It’s clear that he can’t come up with a single thing that his boyfriend likes. On top of that, he looks confused as to why he’s even asked that question.

Things are quiet after that. The boyfriend tries to talk to Whiskey Eyes a couple of times, but he ignores him and just stares straight ahead. There’s a grim expression on his face, his jaws clenched. Still, the boyfriend doesn’t seem to understand the trouble he got himself in. 

The train pulls up at the station, Derek’s stop, and Whiskey Eyes gets up. “Baby?” Mr. Generic frowns at his partner. “This isn’t our stop.”

Whiskey Eyes gives him a cold glance. “It’s my stop now.” The doors open and he walks out. Just fucking walks off and leaves him on the train. 

Derek almost forgets to get off himself, he gets out just before the doors close. The boyfriend comes to his senses too and he jostles roughly past Derek in his hurry to go after his partner. Or ex-partner, probably. Because Derek sincerely doubts he can recover from that. He almost feels bad for the idiot. Or not, since the contents of Derek’s messenger bag go sprawling across the platform because of his rude shoulder check. 

The platform of the small station empties out quickly, leaving Derek to pick up the notes that spilled from their folder. When he looks up, still on one knee and with his papers in hand, he sees the couple from the train. They’re standing halfway between Derek and the exit and he’s just in time to see Whiskey Eyes pull his arm loose from Mr. Generic’s grip. Their voices echo in the empty station.

“We are through, Matt. I should’ve realised before that it wouldn’t work out, this thing between us.” Whiskey Eyes gestures angrily between them. “If there ever was a thing, because I’m starting to think I was the only one who was really invested.” 

Mr. Generic - Matt - scoffs. “You’re overreacting. And for what? Just because I couldn’t remember the name of your favourite movie from the top of my head? It’s Star Track, or something.”

“Star Trek,” Whiskey Eyes corrects, emphasising the last word. “And my favourite is Star Wars, not Star Trek.” He looks like he’s completely done with his ex-boyfriend’s bullshit. “Good bye, Matt. I’ll ask Lydia to pick up my stuff from your place later. Don’t follow me please.” He turns on his heel and walks to the stairs. 

“Baby…” The now definitely ex-boyfriend tries to keep up with him, but he’s quickly shot down.

“Don’t follow me.” The words are cold and clipped, making the ex-boyfriend stop in his tracks and just watch Whiskey Eyes disappear up the stairs.

Derek briefly makes eye contact with the asshole ex-boyfriend as he too makes his way to the exit. The man ignores him, mumbling something about ‘stupid nerd shit’ as he fumbles his phone from his pocket and simultaneously checks the board for the next train.

Yeah, Derek doesn’t feel sorry for him.

He does feel sorry for the whiskey eyed young man he finds standing forlornly just outside the exit of the train station. The guy just looks so lost that Derek can’t help but go up to him. “Are you okay?” he asks, startling the other.

“What? Oh, yeah, yeah, I’m okay,” Whiskey Eyes hurries to say. Then he looks around him and huffs a small, sad laugh. “Actually, I’m not. I don’t have a clue where I am and I just realised that I left my keys at home and my roommate won’t be home until late tonight.” 

“Shitty day, huh?” Derek remarks, showing him a sympathetic smile. 

“You can say that again,” is the blunt answer. It sounds almost rude, though it’s followed by a rueful smile. “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t… I mean, I didn’t want to…” Derek isn’t really sure what he’s apologising for and neither seems he. “Sorry. Again. You caught me at a bad time. I just broke up with my… Well, my ex-boyfriend now.”

“I know,” Derek answers and he winces, because it’s clear he was listening in to things that were none of his business. “I mean,” he tries to course correct, “I couldn’t help but overhear. I was on the train too.” 

��You were?” Whiskey Eyes blushes a delicious shade of red. “Fuck. That’s embarrassing.” 

“Nah.” Derek shrugs. “If anything, he’s the one who should be ashamed. Like, who doesn’t know Star Trek apart from Star Wars?”

“I know, right?” He’s still blushing, but it goes well with his smile. 

Derek usually isn’t this forward with strangers, but right now he feels like taking a chance. He could be mistaken, but he doesn’t think he is, not with the shy way Whiskey Eyes is rubbing the back of his neck. So he asks: “Would you like to get something to eat? I’m on my way home and I was planning to get some take out, but if you want, we can go grab a bite together?” 

“Uh, sure!” Whiskey Eyes is only a bit taken aback by his question and seems eager to distract himself from the situation from earlier. “Yeah, why not? I have to wait until my roommate gets home anyway.” Then he holds out his hand. “I’m Stiles, by the way.” 

“Derek.” He takes his hand and is pleased to find it warm and firm. “How do you feel about Thai food?” 

They settle down in the window seat of the small Thai place a block or so from Derek’s home. Stiles declares it the best Tom Kha Kai he has ever had and they discover that they’re born in the same county in California. Derek’s family moved out when he was about twelve years old, yet Stiles’ father still lives there. And so does his recently married step brother.

Conversation flows easily and Derek is happy to discover that Stiles indeed has a very appealing sparkle in his eyes when he’s amused. 

Four months later, they kiss for the first time. Another four months later he finds himself lying on a thin camping mattress on the floor of Stiles’ childhood bedroom. There’s a large Star Wars poster above the bed, with the letters of the opening crawl. Glow in the dark stars that have long lost their shine dot the ceiling. 

A little above him, Stiles rolls so he can look down over the edge of the bed. “I’m sorry my bed is so tiny,” he whispers. “Are you sure you’re okay down there? We can switch!”

Derek catches the hand Stiles extends to him and presses his lips to the knuckles. “I’m fine, sweetheart. It’s just for a couple of nights anyway.”

Stiles smiles fondly at him. “Okay, if you’re sure.” 

“I’m sure,” Derek nods. He presses another kiss to the back of Stiles’ hand. “Now go to sleep, you’ve got a big day tomorrow.”

Stiles yawns and nods. As only son and best man he’s invested in making his father’s wedding day a success. “You really don’t think he’d let me walk him down the aisle?” 

Derek chuckles quietly. They’ve been over this before. “Just leave that part to Scott and his mom. Don’t steal their thunder.” 

“Right.” Stiles caresses the side of Derek’s face one last time and then tucks his arm back underneath his blanket. “Good night, Der. Love you.” 

“I love you too. Good night.”

[witchpassing]

interview_3aC

I got into piloting during the Third Generation. For the historically illiterate, that’s before the breakpoint, not after. Summer Offensive, Chelsk Offensive, ‘81, ‘82… All that shit.

When you say pilot now, people get a certain mental image. It wasn’t like that, back then; end of the day, a G3 frame is basically just another kind of tank. Hot like hell inside and full analogue control. You had to think five, six, seven seconds ahead sometimes, because that’s how long it’d take you to string together the inputs for what you were doing next.

I was good. I mean, I’m good at my job now, sure, but… you should’ve fuckin’ seen me then.

... Anyway. Long and short of it is, I got unlucky. Everyone does, sooner or later. Coterie railcannon caved in part of my cockpit, crushed my leg to dogmeat, and that was that. A few years later, they’d have amputated, plugged in a spare, and sent me back in, but this was ‘83, the tech wasn’t there yet. We were hearing about it, you know, shit on the grapevine about the brain-machine barrier, weird tests underground out in Lysk, but I don’t think any of us really believed in it.

I wanna say I knew what was coming, but I didn’t. Nobody did.

So. Cockpit breach. Fucked leg. They did a lot of work, got it to where I could walk on a good day, but it was obvious I wasn’t gonna cut it any more. Took my pension, checked out, spent eight years in the worst dyke bars I could find. Don’t really wanna talk about that part. That’s not what you’re here for, anyway.

So I’m a few years down the line, losing my mind somewhere in Sengrade, and I get a call. It’s this guy I used to know, I never really nailed down what he did, Information maybe, and he’s telling me about this program they’re spinning up over in Lysk, and sure that rings some alarm bells but what am I gonna do, say no? I don’t even need to hear the specifics, he’s trying to tell me it’s the next big jump in frame tech, it’s gonna win us the war, whatever, I’m already halfway onto a train.

The job turned out to be the Fifth Generation. Not only was the brain-machine barrier real, but they’d smashed clean through it. I said a G3 is basically a tank, right? So I was expecting an iteration on the form. Sharper, sleeker sure, but at the end of the day just a prettier-looking tank.

Well, I was dead fuckin’ wrong. Seeing something that size move that way, it’s… I don’t think I can put it into words. Go find a poet or something. Ask them what they think about Gen 5.

… Didn’t come for free, of course. The neural throughput on a machine that size will cook an unprepared brain like a fuckin’ egg. You need to be dosed to the gills on a whole cocktail of ten-syllable shit to take it for more than a few minutes, and the drugs make you weird. Horny, mostly - I’m sure you’ve heard about that - but you’re also looking at impaired impulse control, difficulty with long-term thinking, emotional disregulation, mania… Plus, there’s something in the cocktail or the link or both that is bastard habit-forming. You see them counting the hours between sorties. They adjust to the hyperstimulation, get calibrated to it, and then everything else is just too god-damn quiet.

Think maybe it’s carcinogenic, actually, but you didn’t hear that from me.

So, yeah. Weird. Command doesn’t want weird operating superweaponry. Weird doesn’t make sound tactical decisions. Which means all the shit that makes somebody a functioning soldier - the long-term decision making, the impulse control, the ability to give a fuck about the rules of engagement - it had to be outsourced.

The term they used at first was “special consultant”. Then “special consulting officer”, once we hit field testing. It wasn’t “handler” until later.

The first crop of us - I’m just gonna say handlers, I know how you’re gonna wanna spin this, I get it - were all ex-pilots. G3, mostly; Gen 4 didn’t leave a lot of material to work with. I guess the idea was we were the closest you could get to a G5 candidate’s frame of reference, but it was pretty clear within the first few months that that was bullshit. Some of us took to it, some of us washed out. A lot couldn’t take the wetwork, which I guess I can sympathise with.

Me, I handled it fine. Better than I should’ve, maybe. Being a tanker didn’t do shit for me, but my dad, he was a dog trainer, and… Yeah, well, you get the idea.

… No, no. The other kind of wetwork. You know what I mean.

…

The leg? Ha. Yeah, they offered me a prosthetic. ‘Course they did. But, call me a hypocrite, whatever you want - by that point I was six months in and I knew with total fuckin’ certainty I didn’t want the link. I spend enough of my time helping the military put their shit into peoples’ bodies, you know? I don’t want it walking home with me.

… No, I don’t understand why they keep signing up. Early days, sure, nobody knew what it did to you back then, but there’s been leaks, people’ve talked - hell, I’m talking right now. You can find our burnouts in any dive in the country, or what's fuckin' left of them. The candidates now, they know what we do to people here, and they just keep coming, and coming…

Though, you know… I think sometimes about the first time I saw a Gen 5 machine take off, that first day on the program. The way it moved against the blue-black of the sky, like it weighed nothing at all. And I almost get it.

[seiya-starsniper]

SNIPPET - Dreamling Bingo (Robin Hood AU Retired Dream)

For @dreamlingbingo Square A3 - replacing Robin Hood AU with the Adoptable Prompt: Retired Dream

Snippet itself is rated General, actual fic will be Explicit

other snippets under the tag #retired dream is a fuckboy wip

--------------------

“Before we go on,” Hob says, trying his best to get some blood back into his brain and out of his cock, “We need to set some rules.” 

Murphy, predictably, frowns in confusion. 

“Are you referring to play rules?” he asks. 

“Not quite,” Hob answers. “I mean rules for how things are going to be, after we have sex.”

This time, Murphy outright grimaces and sighs in frustration. The sour look on his face tells Hob he knows where this conversation is going. 

“Humans have such complex feelings about sex,” he complains. 

“And you didn’t before?” Hob shoots back.  “Mr. ‘I sent a woman to hell because she had regrets about being with me?’”

“That was—” Murphy wrinkles his nose and grimaces. Oh, Hob knew all about Murphy’s past relationships, at least, the ones while he was still Endless, and how poorly those had ended.

“Was—?” Hob asks, letting the question hang between them. Murphy may have been able to get away with not communicating clearly when he was still inhuman, but that sort of thing didn’t work in his new existence.

“I was different then,” Murphy says after a brief silence. “Everything was so much…more intense. My loneliness, my responsibilities, my entire existence.”

“And now?” Hob asks. 

“Now,” Murphy replies, sticking his tongue out playfully and shrugging. “Now I can just focus on my pleasure. My wants. My needs. And the world would not end for it.” Hob snorts and rolls his eyes fondly.

“Sure, sure,” he says with an easy smile. “Far be it from me to disagree with a fun time. But you and I both know that doesn’t mean you’re not breaking hearts along the way while you’re finding yourself.” 

Murphy’s face twists in discomfort, and Hob knows he’s plucked a sensitive string. He wonders just how many hearts Murphy has broken since becoming human. He feels kind of bad for them, really. Murphy was so pretty and so emotional. There’s probably a few songs about him out there in the world if Hob had to guess. 

“I suppose you’re right,” Murphy finally acquiesces with a sigh. “Just because I am no longer directly tangled with the collective unconsciousness does not mean I am not affecting others. It is just…different.” He looks distinctly uncomfortable now, like he’s expecting some sort of judgment from Hob about his behavior. But Hob knows better than to throw stones in glass houses. Part of the reason he’d even wanted to live forever was so that he could bed as many women as he wanted. And men too, once he realized he enjoyed their company as well. 

“You remember what I said when I first set you loose on the world?” Hob asks, more gently this time. Murphy tilts his head, thinking, and isn’t that a sight? His friend has to actually struggle to remember things now. 

“You said,” Murphy replies then pauses. Then his eyes widen. “You said that I should treat others how I would wish to be treated myself.”

Hob smiles. “Golden Rule of living forever,” he replies. 

Murphy snorts. “And how would you wish for me to treat you then?” 

“Not like a one-night stand, for one thing,” Hob replies easily, stepping closer into Murphy’s personal space. “I’m your friend, not some fling you pick up at a club.” He reaches a hand to caress Murphy’s face. “So you communicate with me all your needs, or we don’t do this, okay?” 

Murphy inhales sharply and sways into Hob’s touch. “Yes,” he replies, eyes fluttering.

[copperbadge]

i was thinking of you the other day and your discussions of your ability or lack thereof to visualize things in your mind, because someone asked me who all had been at a gathering, and i answered them by calling up the room in my memory and looking around it to see who was there. and it occurred to me after the fact that i suppose probably not everyone can do that? but i could even tell you at least approximately what everyone was wearing (color, cut, maybe not precise pattern, but the general style, sure). and while i can’t swear to you that it’s 100% accurate because i don’t have a picture to compare it to, i think it’s pretty close.

but now i’m curious - what would your thought process be if you were asked the same question? if you can’t just look around the room in your mind, is the memory interaction-based? or like… voices you remember hearing? or something else?

Well, bear in mind that I haven't got a great memory to begin with -- possibly the ADHD at work, but also there's a condition that's frequently comorbid with aphantasia called Severely Deficient Autobiographical Memory -- people with SDAM have trouble recalling huge chunks of their lives and when they do have recall they often remember it as if they'd been told it, they have no emotional sense attached. For example, I remember a trip I took where I had to do some hard shit and it was really scary, but I don't remember the feeling of being scared, I just remember that I was. I have no idea how long the trip was, no memory of the hotel room, very little memory of doing the scary thing. I know I did it, but there's not a lot of attachment there.

This is not ALWAYS the case -- for example I have extremely fond memories of certain other trips -- but I don't really seem to be able to switch it on or off. Like when I was in Europe, I stayed in an AirBNB in London, but by the time I got to Rome like, five days later, I couldn't remember what it was like. I ended up spending a little time one evening kind of calling up memories of where I stayed in London and in Paris to try and hard-code them into my memory, and that worked, but I also needed the help of photos and tumblr posts I'd made to achieve it. ("What did it even look like? Well -- wait, I cooked some pizzas in the microwave while I was there. The microwave was on the counter, opposite the bed, and -- oh, okay, I remember now.")

So like, I would have no goddamn idea of the majority of people at any given gathering where I attended, but is that SDAM, ADHD, a function of my anxiety in social situations, or the aphantasia? Difficult to say.

I hosted a get-together on Sunday and because I was host and there weren't that many people in attendance I could name them off, but I couldn't tell you what they wore. The last party I attended, a week or two previously, was at a friend's house and it was mostly folks I was at least passingly familiar with, but I am bad with names and so couldn't NAME a lot of the people there -- but for example I could say "Well, the hosts were there, and I spoke with X, Y, and Z, so they were definitely there, but I also spoke with like four other people whose names I didn't get. I dunno what any of them were wearing even though it was a costume party." But yeah to even come up with that I would have to think about when I arrived, walk myself through whatever I remember of the event in linear order, and just note down who I spoke with. If I didn't speak with them, or if I didn't know them well, they didn't exist for me.

So I guess the answer is that my memory isn't visual and also just kinda...isn't there a lot of the time. It's not like amnesia, or the profound brain damage you read about where the person only remembers the last ten minutes or doesn't remember anything past a certain date in their life, but I just haven't got much memory for things. It's why I use a lot of lists and spreadsheets and make yearly photobooks.

My photo archive on my computer goes back to about 1998, and it's sorted by year, but the top level folder all the years are stored in is simply titled "Where I've Been" 'cause I probably wouldn't remember, otherwise.

[killualoverr]

What are the main 4 types? (Like as in appearance/personality??) Also keep up the good work!🫶

₊ ☆ ‧₊˚ → what are the main four’s (hxh) types?

cw: none that i’m aware of

note: sorry for my absence guys 😓😓 ive been a bit demotivated to write lately BUT i am back and the grind continues. anyway, i kept running out of ideas so it’s short, i apologize!

- i don’t think gon has a set type tbh

- it wouldn’t take much for him to fall for someone as long as they met the very few requirements that he has, those being that the person must be kind-hearted and honest

- they would also have to be willing to go on adventures with him :3

- in general, gon wants them to be his best friend as well his romantic partner

- like gon, killua also wouldn’t really have a set type, but there’s a few things their future s/o needs in order for him to fall inlove with them

- one of the biggest requirements for him i think would be that they don’t personality that isn’t controlling (i think we all know why)

- another must is that they have to get along with gon and alluka

- he also wants them to be okay with him being a retired assassin

- his past has affected him in more ways that one, so please be patient and gentle with him!!

- he wants his s/o to be support him no matter what

- they would also have to be patient and caring with him, we all know about the things he’s gone through so please provide him with emotional support ☹️

- he values honesty in the relationship

- i don’t think kurapika really cares about body type and appearances

- for appearances, it isn’t a must but i see him liking curves

- he wants his partner to be supportive of his dreams of being a doctor

- he would also like for them to be nurturing and caring.

- i see him liking kind of like.. some of the stereotypical things i guess?? like yes cook him dinner he will absolutely love and devour that meal (that’s not to say he wants them to be his maid he just enjoys the gesture 😭)