#I’m just fucking around bc I missed the water color brush

[saintajax]

I haven’t used medibang in so long procreate really has spoiled me

[katherynshoward]

𝐝𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐠𝐞𝐨𝐫𝐠𝐞 𝐰𝐞𝐚𝐬𝐥𝐞𝐲 𝐰𝐨𝐮𝐥𝐝 𝐢𝐧𝐜𝐥𝐮𝐝𝐞; { 𝐠.𝐰. 𝐱 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫 }

SYNOPSIS; my headcanons for what it would be like to date george. fred is alive and this would be AFTER the war when everyone is grown. feel free to use these in your stories! if it’s precise, like my quotes, just be sure to credit me.

RESTRICTIONS; preferably 18+. if you’re under 18, i only ask that you do not read the nsfw headcanons section. it is greatly appreciated.

WORD COUNT; 0.9k

WARNINGS; mention of death, sex, dress up kink

whenever you’re giving him the silent treatment after an argument, he puts your favorite snack on the highest shelf where you live and hides the stool. it’s how he gets you to talk to him. fucker.

he constantly asks if you still have a crush on him even after you eventually get married.

you tell him ‘sweet dreams’ every night before bed and he responds with ‘see you there’.

then he falls asleep in ten seconds while you stay up wondering if he remember to turn off the stove until you inevitably get up to check.

you guys build hella forts.

modern george would be the kind of person to angle his phone up so you can only see his forehead and one eyebrow during facetime calls, not realizing he’s on camera as well.

he likes to bath with you. he always sits directly behind you in the tub and tries to shape your hair into a mohawk with shampoo.

george loves hand holding. hand holding supremacy.

because you’re holding hands literally all the time, he likes to say ‘steady’ and twirl you around while you two are walking in public and then he places a gentle kiss on your knuckles.

he knows you’re very ticklish on your neck and likes to whisper the most obscure hilarious shit against your neck at random times.

you guys people watch A LOT. the two of you could literally commentate on others for hours, bouncing back and forth off of each other in good humor.

forehead kisses instantly revive his mood. it’s his life force.

he has to be sitting for you to give him forehead kisses bc he’s too tall otherwise.

he has accidentally used your toothbrush way too many times. they’re not even close to the same color.

fred used to pretend he was george to get you to tell him shocking information about george to blackmail him later. you eventually caught on and can clearly tell them apart now.

F: “Hey, love. Do you remember where I put my journal?” You: “Weren’t you just writing in it last night? It’s beneath the mattress. Like always.” F: “No bloody way. He still uses it?” You: “What?” F: “What?”

every opportunity to make a tasteless pun about his missing ear, he absolutely takes it.

george wakes up first and likes to spend his first hour just admiring you. caressing you with his fingers and brushing your hair out of your face. if you do anything embarrassing during this hour, you will be hearing about it.

he was terrified of cats when you first started dating. but he got you a kitten for your birthday after your last one passed and you were inconsolable. it looks just like your last cat.

george is now ultimate cat dad and probably cuddles the cat more than you do.

You: “Why did you take the cat to go poop with you?”

G: “He gets scared when I’m gone, y/n. I can’t leave him.”

you were best friends for a very long time before you started dating and you still very much act like best friends. because you are.

because he’s your bestie as well as your lover, he lets you do conventionally girly things with him if it means spending more time with you.

he would definitely by the type of boyfriend to let you do makeup on him for a youtube video.

G: “Am I pretty now?” You: “The prettiest.” G: Buzzer noise* “That was a trick question. You were supposed to say ‘yes but not as much as me’.”

he is always the little spoon and will fight for his life on this.

cracks out baby book every christmas at the burrow of him and fred. likes to point out that his butt was cuter and that’s how molly could tell them apart. fred and george usually end up arguing over this, fred claiming that george has them mixed up.

fred will naturally throw hands for you because george loves you so much. you are untouchable between those two.

george is so in love with you, it’s ridiculous.

even when he’s mad at you, he ends up taking the blame although you still apologize for upsetting him.

he just can’t rationalize you being anything other than perfect, even when you leave your hair clumps in the shower.

which he calls your ‘mini-me’.

NSFW headcanons.

he cracks jokes during sex. there is no escape.

those forts from earlier? of course you have sex in them. but only after popcorn and movies.

his hidden kink is dressing you up in sexy costumes and fucking you while you wear them. 

modern george would lose his shit over you cosplaying and probably help you make your cosplays.

but his favorites would be typical ones. like maid, school girl, nurse, probably princess leia at some point.

his favorite position is you on top while he just hammers into you.

george is a thigh guy. he grabs your thighs more than he drinks water. it’s his sustenance.

he loves morning sex. he’s so sensual and gentle in the mornings. something about the glow of sunrise really gets that man going.

mostly, he gets off by making you feel good and worries far more about your orgasm than his own.

makes bedroom jokes at the most inappropriate times.

*Sitting at the Weasley dinner table* G: *Cracks open fortune cookie and takes out fortune.* G: “Y/n, it says here ‘serious trouble will bypass you - in bed.’” You: “GEORGE WEASLEY it does not say that.”

[itsallyscorner]

This could be a request or not depending on how much time you have 😅 but for your information, yes, I am thinking Tom giving y/n hickies on her neck like the night before a bunch of interviews the next day and she's like, "Are you serious?" and he's like "I couldn't resist, I just love you so much!" and when y/n shows up the next day wearing a turtleneck after she told Zendaya that she would be wearing a dress Z immediately gets suspicious and figures it out bc I feel like she's like that 😅😂

Hehehe I haven’t written anything smutty lately and I miss it. So thank you for requesting this anon, much love to you🥰 Ugh, the thought of this gave me butterflies in my stomach😭 Happy reading!❤️

Also, little note for everyone who’s sending me requests! Yes, I see all of them! Part of the reason why I haven’t done some of them yet is because I have to think of concepts on how to execute them properly. So bear with me, love you all🥰

💌.

Love Bug

My soft boi🥺

Warnings: implied smut

(Gif from Pinterest)

The AC in your bedroom was just not doing you justice. The Californian heat was at an all time high today and has transformed you home into an Easy Bake oven. Though you were probably exaggerating, your thin crewneck sweater still clung onto your skin, making you uncomfortable. Peeling the sweater off your body, you toss it into your laundry basket. You’re left in a tank top and some lounging shorts as you sprawl yourself out on your bed. The coolness of the comforter bringing your body some relief from the heat.

Sinking into the sheets, the hustle and bustle of the day finally hits you. You’ve had a long day of press with your cast mates, promoting the movie you were all in, Spider-Man: Far From Home. You loved your job, but the press tours could just be so tiring. You were forced to wake up early in the morning and sit in a room for how many hours of the day to only be asked the same questions (most of the time). Though press tours did have its pros, meeting fans around the world and traveling to new countries was something you always looked forward to.

Marvel being Marvel, they always had to make it big. For the last few weeks you have all been traveling around the world, tired but nonetheless having an amazing time. Thankfully, this was the last stop of the press tour, California. You were back in your own bed and your boyfriend was staying with you for the time being.

You were on your phone, going through Instagram and looking at various photos that were taken today during today’s press engagements. You’ve even made your own contribution and posted your own batch of selfies and funny videos.

The door to the connected bathroom in your room opens and reveals your boyfriend. Your eyes break their focus on your phone and shift to the man in front of you. You smile and turn your phone off giving him all your attention. A smile forms on his own lips as he crawls up the bed to join you.

“Missed you all day.” He whispers against your skin, placing his head on your chest. His arms are wrapped around your figure, one leg hooked over yours. You move the hood of his sweatshirt from over his head and began to run your hands through his hair.

“Mmm, I missed you too.” He cuddles closer to your chest, arms tightening around you. His eyes momentarily shut, basking in your soothing motions.

“How was your day with Jake?” You ask him. As much as Tom wanted to do press with you, he was stuck doing them with Jake, while you did your interviews with Z and Jacob. Tom enjoyed having his interviews with Jake, but he missed being near you, even if you were just a room away.

Tom shifts so his lips are near the skin of your exposed neck. He hums against you before his lips come into contact with the soft surface. He had been tempted to mark you up all day. You wore a beautiful spring dress with a low neckline that displayed the skin of your neck. All he wanted to do was scatter red and purple love bites all over you, letting the world know you were his.

You gasp as he nips on the space between your neck and shoulder. “Interviews were good, but I just couldn’t get you out my head.” He slots himself between your legs and presses you down into the mattress.

“Teasing me with the pretty little dress of yours. Just wanted to kiss you and mark you up.” He says huskily against your neck. His breath sent shivers down your spine as goosebumps formed on your skin. His mouth sucks harder on the spot, teeth nipping gently, while his tongue soothed the bruising spot. He moved up so one of his hands are holding him up beside your head while his other strokes your side.

“Baby, we have an early morning tomorrow.” You didn’t want him to stop, but it was currently 2am and you were both expected to be awake by 6am.

His lips have made their way to the other side of you neck, pressing light kisses that turned to open mouthed ones. You giggle gently pulling him away from your neck so you can look him in the eyes.

“Babyyy.” He whines trying to shove his head back into the spot. A pout is on his lips, which were now a darker shade of pink from how much he was sucking on your skin.

“Tom, we need to be up at six.” You reminded him. Tom leans closer a boyish grin now on his expression. You couldn’t help but kiss him back when his lips captured yours. You feel him smirk against you as he pulls away.

The hand on your side moves to cradle the side of your face, his thumb brushing against your bottom lip. “We’ll be quick, I just wanna feel you. Please?”

You stare at him for a moment as his hand drifts down your body and by your shorts. Excitement swirls in your belly as his fingers get closer to your growing heat. He kisses your cheek as his hand slips past the band of your shorts to cup your mound. The wetness brings a smirk to his face as his dark eyes gaze into yours.

“Baby, look how wet you are.” He praises you as he moves your panties aside and dips his fingers into your wetness. You sigh, eyes slightly rolling back as his fingers spread your wetness on your folds.

“Fine, but—“ You bring your finger to point again him, “No marks on my neck, I’m wearing a dress tomorrow with a low cut again.”

Tom nods connecting your lips again, “Don’t worry, don’t worry, I’ll be careful.” He assures you before diving his head back into your neck.

~next morning~

You enter the bathroom, tying your hair up to keep it away from your face. You turn the shower on and wait for the water to warm up. While you wait you take a look at yourself in the mirror. Your eyes widen when you get a glimpse of you neck. You gasp out loud as you see the sides of your neck with red bruises with hints of purple on them. You had them on both sides of your neck and a small one almost on the center of your throat.

“TOM!” You yell, your voice echoing in the bathroom. There was some rustling behind the door before it was yanked open. Tom entered in nothing but his boxers looking disheveled, hair pointing in all types of direction and his eyes barely open.

“What happened?” His voice was raspy, something that usually made you swoon but right now you couldn’t even focus on it.

You turn to him, aggressively pointing to your neck. “Don’t worry, I’ll be careful!” You mock him, repeating what he said to you last night before he railed you into the mattress.

Tom’s eyes widen as well before he cringed. To be fair, you did warn him. He just didn’t know how to hold back when it came to you. He cautiously approaches you a sheepish grin on his face.

“I know it looks bad..” he begins. You shoot him a look, “Are you serious right now? Tom it looks like an octopus strangled me!”

Tom moves back to look at you, “Well you weren’t complaining last night.” You shoot him another look and he nods knowing you were annoyed with him at the moment. He stands behind you looking at the mirror you were both in front of. His arms wrap around your torso as he tries to soften you up.

“I’m sorry, I just love you so much and I couldn’t resist it. I love making love to you and I just get so lost in it and I know you warned me too, I’m sorry.” He apologizes hugging you from behind. You could tell he actually felt bad by the genuine look in his eyes. You sigh leaning back into him and resting your hands above his, interlocking your fingers.

“I forgive you, it happens.” You mumble, head trying to come up with ways to cover up your neck. “How do I even cover this up?”

Tom looks at your neck through the mirror, “Makeup will work right? Just put on some concealer or that color corrector thing you use.”

You nod at his suggestion. “That’ll work for a few hours, but makeup wears off. What if I accidentally wipe it off?”

Tom pursed his lips together in thought, “You could ask Laura to bring you something with a turtleneck.”

“It’ll barely move and your neck will be covered the entire time.” He suggests.

“Yeah, it’ll probably work. I just hope she hasn’t left yet, I should text her.” You move from Tom’s hold and turn the shower off. Before you leave the bathroom, Tom pulls you into a hug again. His face nuzzles against your hair, “I’m sorry, again.”

You smile and stroke his back, “I told you I forgive you, it’s ok love.” You pull away and peck his lips. Tom smiles and leans down to kiss your shoulder. Something he always did when you guys were having a moment. Instantly, you jump back and push him off, “Get your fucking lips away from my neck. I don’t need anymore hickies right now.”

~later~

Your stylist, Laura, ended up bringing you a stunning white dress that stopped above your knees. It was short sleeved, hugged your curves perfectly, and had a turtleneck that covered your neck. She gave you a pair of leather knee high boots which pulled the look together. Your hair was curled, pulled back into a half up and down style while short strands of hair framed your face. Compared to the panic you felt when your first saw the hickies, you were relieved when you saw yourself in the mirror again an hour later. You felt like a modern Go Go Girl as you admired your outfit.

You arrived at the hotel where all the interviews were being held. You make your rounds of greeting everyone, saving Z and Jacob last since you’ll be with them the whole day. You enter the room and see the two of them already sitting in front of the cameras. Jacob spots you first, “Aye! Good morning!”

You smile and walk up to them, giving them both hugs. When you pull away from Z she gives you a look. Her eyes scan you from head to toe, squinting at your dress.

“Weren’t you just complaining that yesterday was too hot? Why are you in a turtleneck?” She interrogates you. You smile nervously at her while you settle in the seat on the other side of Jacob.

“Um, you know, it’s a bit chilly today.” You lie. Jacob eyes you as well catching on Z’s point.

“(Y/n), it’s 95 degrees outside.” He tells you eyes panning around the room. Zendaya smirks leaning forward to get a better look at you, “I think someone was busy last night.”

“No, I wasn’t. I had a very nice sleep, thank you very much.” You sweetly smile at her crossing your arms.

Jacob snickers beside you, “I bet you did.”

“I guess Thomas couldn’t keep his hands off you last night.” She teased, exposing you.

“Or his mouth.” Jacob quickly adds smirking. Your cheeks get flustered squeezing your eyes shut. Jacob and Z burst out laughing at Jacob’s comment.

“I don’t even have a come back, blame Tom.” You throw your hands up in the air giving up. Z calms down and leans over Jacob to rest a hand on your knee.

“Hey, it’s ok, man. If I were Tom, I wouldn’t keep my hands off you either.” She tells you jokingly, helping you get over the embarrassment of wearing a turtleneck. You catch on and wink at her, “Aye, say less.” Your hand resting on top of hers.

Jacob puts his hands up looking shocked, “What did I just walk into? I—I gotta go.” He pretends to shove your hands away and gets up from his seat.

“I’m telling Tom about the sexual tension I felt in this room.” He yells over his shoulder as he walks out the room. You and Z look at each other amused, “Is he actually?”

Z shrugged, “Honestly, he’s probably getting some water. He was thirsty.”

The two of you catch up with each other. Talking about the press tour and what you were both planning on wearing for the premiere. You were in the middle of describing your dress when Tom bursts into the room with Jacob trailing behind him.

“STAY AWAY FROM MY WOMAN.”

[spencersawkward]

I love your ff first of all, I'm obsessed and second of all I would ask you a suggestion, idk if maybe is that too much and you're totally free to not do that but you ever thought to do something in the line of the knive kink? I think it will be awesome

i'm so sorry this took so long! big thanks to my guardian angel @voidsfilm for giving me inspiration bc i literally struggled with this one more than i should have. never written a knife kink but i’m glad i tried lol.

summary: reader finds an antique knife that Matthew's kept in a drawer.

content warnings: unprotected penetrative sex, fingering, oral (male receiving), knife play (no blood drawn), Soft!Dom MGG, degradation and praise.

word count: 3.6k

masterlist

if there is one thing I absolutely despise, it's working out. getting sweaty, running until my legs hurt and my lungs are burning for air... not really my thing.

but when Matthew brought up the idea a couple months into our relationship, I couldn't say no to him: he had a goofy smile on his face and the kind of look in his eyes that made me relent and ask what kind of stuff he wanted to do.

I think that I've found the one thing that Matthew can't make fun.

"I'm gonna pass out." I bend over and set my hands on my knees, trying to catch my breath. Matthew slows to a stop a few feet ahead, turning around and making a strained expression.

"oh, come on." but his voice is pretty breathless, too. he gently guides me off the path so that we don't get in the way of the other people out enjoying the day. a couple walks by us with their dog, strolling calmly, and I feel a rush of envy. if our workout routine had consisted of a few pleasant ambles around the city, I would have been totally willing.

"Matthew, I wanna go home." I whine impatiently. the only nice thing about this is that he's got one of those stupid sweatbands on his head to keep his hair out of his face, and it makes him look like a 1980's housewife.

"we can go home in fifteen minutes." he smiles, puts his hands on his hips, stretching in an exaggerated way.

"do you promise?" I brush a piece of hair out of my face.

"promise," he's lucky he looks so cute in his workout outfit. "we can even get one of those fancy juices for you on the way back."

"seriously?" I light up. this might actually be worth it; they have this amazing mango and lime combination that I can't ever manage to recreate with our own blender.

"if you beat me to the rock, then sure." he references the enormous boulder in Central Park that we both gawked at on our first date-- ever since then, it's been the end point for our runs. my lips curl into a grin.

"you're on." I take off, making sure to push him out of the way in order to gain a head start. he lets out something of a protestation but is quick to follow. I can feel his feet pounding behind me, trying to catch up.

I may not be good at running long distances, but I'm sure as hell faster than he is.

...

it's quiet when I step out of the bedroom, drying my hair with the towel and wandering into the living room. Matthew is sitting at the table with his sketchbook, drawing god knows what while he waits for me to finish up.

"what are you up to?" I ask softly as I plop down across from him. my head is slightly tilted while the towel rubs my scalp.

"I'm not really sure." he shrugs, frowning and holding up the notebook from a distance as if that'll help him figure out what to do.

"can I see when you're done?"

"of course," he sets it on the table again, then runs a fingertip across his chin. "actually, can you do me a favor?"

"sure."

"I have a set of colored pencils in the desk over there," he points to an old piece of furniture under the window. "would you mind getting them for me?"

"yep," I reply, getting up and leaving the towel on the table. "least I can do after kicking your ass."

on the walk past him, Matthew grabs my waist and pulls me into him, attacks me with tickles. I squeal and hit his shoulder.

"stop!" I laugh.

"you barely beat me!" he gives a dazzling smile and finally lets me go. I lightly smack him upside the head and head over to the desk, rifling through the drawers for the colored pencils he wanted.

as I push around various art supplies, glue sticks and random paintbrushes that look to be on the brink of falling apart, my fingers pass something cool and metallic. I grab the thing and pull it out.

it's a knife; like, a fancy one with an intricately decorated handle and what seems to be a pretty dulled edge. before he can notice what I've found, I start to move the thing between my hands curiously. there's a nice weight to it, but it's definitely old.

"hey, Matthew?" I ask warily.

"yeah?" so unassuming and sweet.

"why do you have a knife?"

there's a scratching as he gets up from the table to walk over to me. I lean against the desk. Matthew doesn't seem too bothered by what I'm saying at all, only gently taking the weapon out of my hands and examining it himself.

"oh, yeah!" he lets out something like a laugh. I raise an eyebrow and wait for him to continue. "do you remember when we went antiquing in Cape Cod, like, a month ago?"

"yeah." I nod at the memory. he'd been lucky enough to get some vacation days and we'd spent them sitting by the water with glasses of wine and nothing but time to talk. it really was a great trip, now that I think about it.

"I found it there." he still hasn't looked up and I realize that there's something he's not telling me. I don't know what I'm missing, but I start to get nervous.

"...why?"

"I was gonna ask then, but I guess I just forgot." his tongue darts out across his bottom lip as he lifts his face to meet my gaze. my heart thuds when he opens his mouth again. "I kinda wanted to try something."

"like?"

"I've been thinking about maybe using knives... in a sexual way."

"what?" I frown, confused by his wording. Matthew seems to realize that he's phrased it awkwardly and shifts his stance. he keeps glancing between the object and my face like he's worried about scaring me away.

"I don't mean I'm gonna stab you or anything," he laughs. "I just mean I think it sounds fun."

my hand finds his, brushing my palm over the steel to touch it myself again. there's a curiosity that burns through me now, something I'm a little unsure about but not enough so to deny the possibility of trying it.

"what do you wanna do with it?" I peek up at him. he bites his lip. we're speaking in gentle tones and I notice that our bodies have gotten closer within the last few moments. a warmth, a tension.

"like, pressing the blade flat against your skin while I fuck you." he takes the thing and demonstrates. the cool silver rests on my neck, too dull to really threaten a serious cut if he were to move too quickly. a shiver runs down my spine at the sensation of the metal.

I gulp, feel the curve of my throat push against it when I swallow. it's nice.

"oh." is all I say. Matthew is watching me intently, but he doesn't make any motion away from it. like he's entranced by the sight of me with a knife to my throat.

"are you interested?" he asks.

I mull it over. on the one hand, weapon play is something I've never considered in my sex life before. Matthew and I aren't vanilla, but this hasn't crossed my mind. that said, now that I can really feel it, there is a desire forming in my stomach. it would be a strange, new sensation.

"yes." the confirmation makes him smile a little. he lowers the thing and instead wraps me in his arms, kisses me passionately until our tongues are dancing over each other. I love how he holds me, our torsos against each other while my body leans slightly back to accept the weight of his touch.

he goes to my head like alcohol. and it's even more surreal when I feel the blade move under the hem of my shirt to rest against my back. I smile into his mouth. he doesn't do anything with it, just leaves it to remind me.

he starts to rut his hips against my lower stomach, getting aroused at the proximity of our bodies and the heated nature of our kiss. there's an urgency to all of it, like he's holding back. I don't want him to hold back; I want him to give me everything he has, everything beneath the surface.

my fingers twine in his hair and tug on the ends, causing him to groan into our embrace. there's no way we're going to make it all the way to the bedroom with the way he's grabbing at my body, so I stumble backwards towards the couch until the backs of my thighs hit the arm of it.

"you're horny." I giggle slightly when he pushes the hem of my shirt up my body, his nails dragging over my ribcage and trailing the object along with it. I feel the excitement growing.

"I'm just glad you're willing to try this." he murmurs the words, holds our foreheads together before his lips eagerly seek mine out, again. somehow, even with a weapon leveled against me, I can sense the love in every single action. I wouldn't have said yes if I didn't trust him to treat me with the utmost care.

I work at the buttons of his shirt, pushing it over his lovely shoulders and arms as he unclasps my bra. we're fervent, greedy in our movements, trying to kiss despite the attention needed to remove our clothes. mostly we just tangle up in each other until there's nothing left but my shorts for him to shove down my legs. he keeps his pants on.

"c'mon, beautiful." he mutters, pushing my legs open so that I'm sitting on the arm of the couch. he tilts my head and leans closer to suck on my bottom lip, and then starts to massage my tits. I can feel the handle of the weapon against my nipple.

when he reaches to slide his finger between my folds, I hiss out a breath at the cold sensation of his skin.

"is this because of me or the knife, baby?" he asks, corners of his mouth twitching up while I moan into his mouth. he starts to rub my clit with the collected wetness, teasing me too much. I want to fall back, but I can't. I won't let myself.

"both." I find myself turned on by the way the blade sits against my ribs again. the edge is just sharp enough to elicit a reaction from my body.

"feel that?" he angles the thing the slightest bit. I exhale and nod.

that isn't the response he's looking for, however, because he moves it so that it's under my chin. goosebumps on my skin while I pant uselessly against the weapon. I can feel it press harder with every breath out of my lungs, and I love it. I love the risk it brings out of me.

while Matthew dips his index inside my pussy, I writhe against it and tilt my head even more so he has better access.

"look at you," he lets out a dark chuckle, thrusts into me to the last digit. "you want more of this, don't you?"

"yes, sir." I breathe. my neck is actively moving against the metal. I glance down at his body and see his erection straining against his pants, craving release but finding none as he plunges his fingers in and out of me. I can hardly breathe from sheer focus on the sensations he's giving me right now.

"what are you looking at, sweetheart?" he quickens the pace of his movements and uses the object to make me focus on his face.

"you're hard." the words nearly die on my lips. he stares darkly at me, lifting his brows just enough to make me question whether I should have spoken at all. I bite my lip in anticipation.

"and what are you gonna do about it?" his voice is raspy as he stands back, removes his fingers from my pussy, and lets me drop to my knees. I'm weak both from the stimulation and from the loss of it, but I make quick work of undoing his belt, pulling the pants down his legs until I'm face-to-face with his cock. it sits against his stomach, throbbing impatiently while he watches. he uses the metallic point under my jaw to angle my face up to his.

"are you gonna suck me off, baby?" he smirks. I nod rigorously with wide eyes and an open mouth, dragging my tongue along the underside. Matthew's nose scrunches up for a moment at the shock of contact when I tease the head. all his concentration is on watching me wrap my hand around the shaft and pumping him gently. "spit on it."

I obey and spit right onto the tip before rubbing my thumb over the top to gather the precum. as I start to swirl my tongue and move my lips onto him, he throws his head back, lets out a wanton noise. it urges me on. I take every moment with a deliberate attention to the veins and sensitive spot he has.

"that's it, that's it." he rasps while knotting his hand in my hair. the other keeps the knife pressed to my throat. he lets me move on my own for a bit, gauging my desires from the way my eyes attempt to memorize the sight of his face above me, that jaw dropped in licentious craving. I can tell that he wants to fuck my face, but I go slow just to draw it out a little. it makes the soreness of my jaw worth it when he gets all impatient and flustered.

I hollow my cheeks and bob on his dick, bat my lashes, pull myself off him for a second just to kiss the tip.

"can I use your mouth?" he asks through a restrained groan. I open it and nod, sighing at the feeling of his fingers twining through my hair again before he pushes back into the opening. now that he's got full control, he starts to develop his own movements, sometimes meeting his thrusts by pressing my face against him.

he gets deep in it, never losing his grip on the knife, until my nose is pressed to his stomach. my throat closes instinctively around him even more tightly, and he lets out a guttural moan.

"such a cute mouth when I'm using it." he thrusts until I gag and then he's smiling. "get up."

he removes himself so fast, my eyes water at the sudden lack of blockage in my throat. I gulp air while he hooks his hands under my arms and hoists me up. I'm about to turn around so I can lift my leg and give him better access, but he sits me on the arm of the couch and parts my thighs.

"I wanna see your pretty face." he leans down and pecks my cheek. I smile at the surprising tenderness-- although it doesn't last long. steel sits against the space between my neck and collarbone. it's only a moment before he positions himself between my legs and slides his cock into me.

my back arches and I look him in the eyes, gasping.

"fuck, baby." he drags out the first word as he inches inside. I mewl helplessly at the way he stretches me out, my pussy clenching every few seconds. he keeps one hand on my lower back to support me and bring me closer to his pelvis, and then we're staring into each other's eyes as he finally settles in it.

his hips start to thrust into me, hopeful for any kind of contact while I accustom myself to the shape of him. it happens every time, despite the amount of times we've done this. and I'm bad at patience, but he's worse. his body stutters against mine.

"is it good enough, sir?" I ask quietly. he tightens his grip on my back and on the blade, the edge threatening my skin the perfect amount. I suck in a breath at the way it stings a little.

"you're doing perfectly." he recognizes what I want to hear as he finds my sweet spot and begins to hit it repeatedly, smoothly works my body. I swear there are planets in my eyes when I stare at the expressions on his face, both of us so wrapped up in each other that every other thought becomes obsolete.

he moves the knife to under my chin to rest on my throat.

"feel that?"

I nod so the edge bites more. he smirks.

"just to show you who you belong to."

my hips push up to meet his thrusts, needing more stimulation, more friction. what I want is for him to be relentless, to slam into my body with the kind of hunger I know he has. there are sounds, movements, that he's made before that make me want him to use them. but he's withholding, probably hesitant about the dangerous object on my pulse point.

"I belong to you, sir." I egg him on. he likes the sound of that, grunting and starting to pound into me.

"yeah? you're my dirty little whore." he speaks through gritted teeth. I shiver.

"mhmm."

"I use you how I want, when I want." his fingertips dig into my skin and he yanks me closer so that he can hit a new angle. I let out a surprised noise when he brushes my g-spot. it's otherworldly and I expose more of my neck to him.

"my little slut likes pain, huh?" he nudges the weapon harder into my skin. it doesn't draw blood, but I can sense the mark it'll leave. I love it.

"yes, sir." we're both getting needy, but we can't hold each other the way that we want to in our given positions. my palms are occupied on the arm of the couch to hold myself up and one of his hands is too busy holding the object for us to fuck as deeply as we need.

"are you gonna take it like a good girl when I cum in it?" he mutters. he runs his tongue over my jawline and the weapon nicks my skin. I moan at the mingling of sensations that's building all across my body.

"yes, sir." I plead. it's nearly unbearable, how much I want him. we're chasing our orgasms and I know what will finish me off. he knows, too.

Matthew drops the knife. it clatters to the ground, but there's no time for me to register it with the way he grabs my hips and lifts me into the air, my legs wrapping around his waist while he keeps fucking into me. he maneuvers us with shocking ease, laying me on the couch and positioning himself at the right moment so that I can drag my nails over his back and keep my thighs locked around him.

"mmm... baby, I'm gonna cum." he drives into me recklessly, both of us finally able to cling to each other. the angle is just enough to stimulate my clit and I nod, using the leverage of my legs to pull myself to him and roll my hips for friction.

Matthew slams my body into the couch, grunting in my ear as he finds his climax inside me. it's so deep, I have to work to keep the yell inside, but he's not done. he rides it out and plows into me while I reach the edge.

"tell me how it feels." he orders in my ear. I sigh.

"so-- so good, sir." my voice is thin. "I'm close."

"show me." he leaves bruises on my hips with his hands. I feel the knot finally snap, every muscle in my stomach spasming chaotically. I finish with a loud moan, begging him to drag it out further. my vision nearly goes black at the tide that threatens to overtake my body.

"Matthew--" I gasp. he moans quietly at the way I say his name, still rocking his body into mine while I come down from the shocks of orgasm. it's nearly overwhelming, the pleasure running through my body.

slowly, we come to a stillness and he drops his head into my shoulder, panting. he doesn't let go at first, but then he withdraws from my pussy and lets me take a rest. I lay there on the couch while he kneels between my legs, pressing gentle kisses to my neck.

"I love you." he repeats it over and over.

"I love you, too," I hope he can feel the meaning, despite the sheer exhaustion in my tone. he runs his fingertips across the red marks where the thing went a little too deeply, but I'm not worried about it. "we should try that again, sometime."

"you liked it?" he smiles brightly. I love the lines by his eyes.

"definitely."

he lets out a cheerful noise and buries his face back into my throat because he knows how much it tickles. I screech and giggle, my legs kicking wildly around me. more contented than ever before.

[milkbread420]

do you think you could write something(hc, drabble, etc 😂 take your pick) where one of the boys(kuroo or suna(idk if you write for suna) where the reader is “heather”. like the boys have girl best friend that likes them but the boys have a crush on the reader...yk? let’s flip the switch 👀 but only if you want to, no pressure.

Pairings: Kuroo x f!reader, Suna x f!reader

I kinda got carried away and just did all of the above bc I couldn’t pick but I hope this is what you were looking for! :)

(Also sorry this took a while, I’m a little busy, I hope you didn’t think I was ignoring you hwbxjowsgoih)

Warnings: Swearing, angst??

Kuroo

Kuroo talks about you all the time

Like so much, that she’s told him to shut up more than a few times.

When she does, he teases her about being jealous.

Little does he know

He has her talk to you, and makes her tell him everything just so he can find out little things about you here and there.

That’s how he’s learned your favorite color, your favorite food, and some of your hobbies.

He would smile and blush as she talked about her conversations with you

Every time she’d die a little inside.

He asks her for advice almost every chance he gets

Definitely cancels his plans with her just to spend more time with you

She wants to hate you so bad

Like so bad

But you’re just so perfect and kind, he absolutely adores you, and she swears that you were made for him.

You even laugh at all of his terrible chemistry jokes.

She used to be the only one.

He always takes her out to buy little gifts for you because he needs “a girl’s input” on what would be a good gift.

“Maybe buy me a gift,”

Girly really hoped you were a passing fad

Secretly hoped you’d reject him and he’d realize that she was the one for him

Life is not ‘You Belong With Me’ by Taylor Swift :

All her hopes are crushed when she sees him kissing you after a game in front of all his teammates

Kenma: Yikes

“Did you see how pretty she looked today?” Kuroo sighed, letting his body collapse onto his bed. The girl sitting upright beside him nodded stiffly, “She’s like an angel or something,” his lips curved upward into a smile, “I can’t believe someone like her even looks in my direction,” he ran his fingers through his hair, “She’s fucking perfect,” “Shut up for a second,” the girl snapped. Kuroo’s eyes shot open and he dragged himself up into a sitting position, “Sorry, it’s just, she’s all you ever talk about anymore, I want to talk about other things to ya’ know,” she huffed, folding her arms over her chest. 

Kuroo quirked a brow, sending her a devilish smirk, “Jealousy doesn’t look good on you,” he joked, a boisterous laugh escaping him; she frowned, “Aw come on, I’m just messing with ya’,” She knew that, but without even realizing, he’d struck a chord that shouldn’t have been played, “You think you could do me a solid?”

“Not a liquid or a gas?” She giggled. 

Kuroo laughed for just a second, “I’m serious,” he said. She swore he could have heard the shattering of her heart, the Kuroo she knew would never brush off a good science pun; he really did like you. 

She swallowed hard, “Yeah what’s up?”

“Well I was thinking you could talk to her for me, you know? Girl to girl or some shit?” he asked, rubbing the back of his neck, “It’s just I get all stupid around her, so I was hoping you could help me out,”

“Sure,” The girl replied before he could even really think about it. How pathetic. She thought. 

“Thanks, I owe you one,” Kuroo sighed, “How about I set you up with one of the first years on my team?” he smirked, standing up and walking out of his room; she followed close behind, “Have your pick, I’ll put in a good word,” by the time he finished talking, they were standing right next his front door. The girl shot him an inquisitive look, “I told her I’d call her around this time,” he said.

“Oh!” she understood, “Got it! Well, have fun!” he wanted her to leave.  “I most certainly will,” he smiled, waving her off as she opened the door for herself.

“See you tomorrow then,”

“Yep,”

-

“Excuse me, y/n?” the girl tapped your shoulder and you stopped in your tracks, turning to face her, “I’m sorry to bother you on your walk home, it’s just, I was wondering if we could talk? Like get to know each other,” you recognized her from how much time she spent with Kuroo. They were friends, and you knew that, so you jumped at the opportunity to get acquainted with one of his friends.

“Of course!” You said with a kind smile that she was certain you couldn’t have faked, “It would be an honor actually!” you continued, making her want to rip your throat out, but also thank you profusely; she opted for neither, “You’re so cool and collected around Kuroo, I’m a little jealous,” she admitted. If only you knew, she thought to herself. “I wish I could be that way too, but i just get all flustered and red whenever he’s around me,” 

She forced a smile onto her face, “Well I’ve known him long enough not to be flustered anymore,” her eyes fell and she recalled all the times he’d made the butterflies in her stomach flutter like nobody’s business.

You giggled and nodded, “You’re so pretty, too!” 

The girl almost stopped dead in her tracks, “Thank you,” but you’re perfect.

You smiled and nodded.

-

“Hey,” Kuroo said, turning around in his desk to look at the girl, “Do you wanna go to the mall with me after school?” She stared blankly for a moment, thinking this might be everything that she’d been waiting for, “It’s y/n’s birthday next week, and I wanna get her something nice,” he said with a lovestruck smile that wasn’t for her. 

“Oh!” she nodded, “Yeah, sure!” 

“Cool,” Kuroo gave her a thumbs up, “I could use some advice, I don’t really know what girls like,” he shrugged, “Meet me in the schoolyard after our last class,” the girl nodded and he turned back around. She cursed herself for even thinking it could be about her.

After the last bell rang, she stood and waited for him in the schoolyard, more than a little disgruntled by the fact that he was nowhere in sight. She checked the time. It had already been ten minutes since the last class. 

“Sorry!” she heard a him holler as he ran towards her, “y/n didn’t have enough for a water at the vending machine, so I went to buy her one from the cafeteria,” he said, panting as he caught his breath. 

“It’s fine,” she said, looking down.

Kuroo hesitated, “You okay?” 

She smiled, “Yeah,”

“Look, I’ll make it up you okay?” he sighed. Her heart beat faster for just a moment, “I’ll bring you a piece of the cake you like from that bakery,” a smile graced her features, I’m going with y/n tomorrow,” she should have known better. 

“You don’t have to,” she shook her head, hoping he’d tell her that he wanted to.

“Suit yourself,” he shrugged and started walking. 

She stood there for a moment, collecting the pieces of her heart.

-

“You did great, Kuroo!” the girl said, smiling as the boy chuckled, just barely turning his head to look at her. 

“We all did great,” he said, brushing some hair out of his face and turning back to high five his teammates. She smiled and stood there idly as he chattered and messed around with his team. 

“Kuroo!” she heard a voice that had become all too familiar, and she immediately noticed the way his ears perked up at the sound of it, his whole body jerking around in the direction it came from; he smiled when he saw you, “You were amazing!” you said, grinning from ear to ear, “You’re so talented!” 

He took one of your hands in his, “Thank you,” he smiled, his other hand brushing over your cheek, “I’m glad you could make it,” 

The girl watched, fighting back a scorn. 

She made it to every single game what the hell was just one in comparison? 

The difference, she concluded, was that she simply was not you. 

“Hey, who’s the hottie and why have you been hiding her from us?” Yamamoto complained, wiping sweat from his forehead as he shot you a charming smile.

“This is my-” Kuroo coughed, and the girl was almost sick right then and there. Even if just by mistake, he was about to call you his girlfriend, “This is y/n,” he said, wrapping his arm around your waist, “And don’t get any ideas,” he huffed. You giggled and flung your arms around him. For a moment he looked taken aback and the girl silently prayed he’d shove you away, but instead, his slender fingers made their way beneath your chin, tilting your head upwards ever so slightly. Your face was red and his was just a few centimeters away from it. 

The girl turned away as he kissed you. 

It was soft and innocent and filled with so much love she could be sick. His eyes were closed gently, so were yours, and you both looked like you’d found water in the middle of a desert. She wondered how long he’d been waiting to do that, how long he’d wanted to kiss you instead of her. 

Kenma blinked, “y/n what is he bribing you with?”

“Nothing,” you laughed, “I really like him, that’s all,”

Kuroo smirked, “I really like you too miss y/n,”

“Gross,” 

Kenma took the words right out of her mouth. 

___

Suna

When Suna first started talking about you, he didn’t use a name so she thought he was talking about her.

Then he was like “yeah y/n is really something.” 

Girl became hella toxic after that

He kinda stops talking about you, because when he does, she’s really mean 

Has the AUDACITY to call you toxic

Knows deep down that you’re everything he’s ever wanted and genuinely feels happy for him, but will never say it.

She hates you and she wants you to know it 

B word

He always defends you whenever she’s rude which totally pisses her off even more

At one point, mans gets sick and tired of her shit and tells her she can either act like a decent human being or find a new best friend

Girly shut up after that

Reluctantly

He definitely knows that she likes him and he highkey uses it to his advantage because he knows she’d do pretty much anything for him

Including driving you down to one of his away games when you’re out of money for the train.

It’s a very awkward ride. 

She’s listening to some shit music

Will not hand you the AUX

He’s really touchy with you after that particular game and she just knows he’s about to do something that’s gonna tick her off 

Atsumu also knows she likes him and he’s just like “Lmao, sucks,” cause he also knows the man is about to ask you to be his girlfriend.  

When you hold Suna’s hand and he smiles she loses her marbles. 

She knows he’s not one for PDA, so when he doesn’t brush you off, it makes her absolutely furious.

He drags you away to a more secluded place

Girl almost screams when she realizes he’s kissing you.

ATSUMU SAYS SOME DUMB SHIT TO HER I JUST KNOW IT 

“She’s really a great person,” Suna said, writing in the answers to his homework as he sat with his friend in the school’s library, “She’s smart, and nice, and she’s really pretty,” he continued to move his pen and the girl next to him blushed.

“Really?” she asked, smiling as she got her hopes up, almost certain that he was about to confess his love for her.

“Yeah,” he said simply, “Her name’s y/n, she’s in our english class,” 

Her face fell and she swore her heart stopped, “y/n, huh?” she sighed, resting her chin in the palm of her hand, “Never heard of her,”

“That’s too bad,” he said, his eyes not leaving the paper, “She’s really amazing,” 

You must have been something if you had Suna praising you so highly. The thought in and of itself made her blood boil with jealousy.

“So do you like, have a crush on her?” she wasn’t sure if she even wanted to know, but her curiosity prevailed. 

“Yeah,” he said, nodding softly, finally looking up from his homework. 

She nodded and bit the inside of her cheek.

God did she wish she knew who you were, just so she could make your life a living hell. 

-

“Your mascara smudged,” the girl said, rather loud as she tapped your shoulder from the desk behind you, “You should fix it,” 

“Oh!”you turned around, face red from embarrassment, “Um, thanks,” Her voice had alerted some of your other classmates as well, making their heads turn towards you. 

Suna scowled at his friend as she smiled fakely at you, “It’s okay, y/n, you look fine,” he said, his eyes not moving from the girl. She shrugged and looked down at the assignment on her desk. She heard Suna whisper something to you, but she couldn’t make out what it was, but you giggled. Her fist balled up and she almost snapped the pencil in her hand. 

After class he left the room without her, walking with you by his side instead. She frowned and jogged to catch up to the two of you, forcing her way in between you and Suna. He sighed to himself.

“Suna!” she said with a pout, “You didn’t wait for me after class!” 

He nodded, “I was gonna walk y/n to her next class,” the girl frowned and then looked over at you, “She’s a big girl, she can walk by herself!” you tilted your head, unable to tell whether or not she was joking. 

“You can go Suna, I’m sorry if you felt like you had to or something,” you said, nervously fiddling with your fingers. 

“No,” he said waving a hand in front of him, “It’s okay, I enjoy our time together,” the girl grimaced as you smiled at him and he smiled back. 

-

“So how’s y/n?” the girl asked in a venomous tone, looking over at Suna from the other side of her living room sofa. 

He shrugged, “She’s good,” the boy visibly tried to retain a smile as he answered. 

“Oh what? All of a sudden you don’t wanna talk about her?” she asked, irritated by the shortness of his reply. She should have been happy, glad even that he had finally shut up about you, but she couldn’t help herself from being just a little disappointed that she couldn’t hear any more of his voice. You were all he wanted to talk about after all. 

“I don’t feel like listening to you complain about her,” he said, glancing down at his phone and smiling. You must have been messaging him.  

The girl folded her arms, “Not my fault she’s ruining our friendship,” she mumbled and looked away. 

Suna looked up with confused expression, “She’s ruining our friendship?” he asked with a raised brow, “You’re the one sticking your nose where it doesn’t belong,”

She scoffed, “See! She’s got you wrapped around your finger, right where she. wants you! Wake up Rintaro! She’s a manipulative bitch! How many times did you willingly go out to the movies or to the mall before you met her?” 

“It’s Suna,” he said in no particular manor, “And join the hurdling team if you’re gonna jump to conclusions,” he grumbled, grabbing his jacket before heading towards her front door, 

“Wait!” she hollered.

“What?” he replied, looking bored as ever. 

“Look, I’ll stop being so mean to her, okay?” she rolled her eyes and folded her arms over her chest.

“Okay.” he said simply, letting himself out. The girl wanted to beg him to stay, or even better, she wanted him to want to stay, all on his own with no encouragement from her; but as long as she wasn’t you, it would never be that way. 

-

The girl’s phone rang, just as she was about to leave her house and head to the gym across town where Suna would be playing that afternoon. She let out a disgruntled sigh as she reached for her back pocket, clicking the ‘answer’ button.

“Hey,” it was his voice on the other end, “You’re coming to the game right?” A smile spread across her lips and she silently cheered; that must mean he wanted her there, “Hello?” 

“Sorry!” she said, “Yeah, I’m just about to leave, I’ll be there in like twenty minutes,” 

“Oh good,” he mumbled, she nodded as if he could see her, “you haven’t left yet,” 

A horrible feeling brewed in the pit of her chest, “No,” she really didn’t want to ask, “why?”

She could hear his smile through the phone, “y/n’s out of money for the train I was calling to ask if you could bring her,” 

Of course.

“Of course,” she said through her teeth, feigning a cheerful tone, “Send me her address,” 

“I just did,” he said.

“Great!” she replied.

“Thanks,” he sighed, “I really want her here,” 

“Of course,” 

Of course.

It wasn’t her he was looking forward to having cheer him on, it wasn’t her hand he wanted to hold, and it wasn’t her who has stolen his heart, like some thief in the night. 

It was you. 

The girl arrived at your house around five minutes after the call, she honked a few times to get your attention; she couldn’t have been bothered to go knock, step into the house where you’d probably made out with her best friend a million times. 

You tapped lightly on her window to get her attention. She shook herself and unlocked the door, “Thank you so much!” you said as soon as you sat down, “I’m so sorry, I feel so bad making you go out of your way, but thank you, really,”

In truth, her house was actually on the way to the stadium, “Yeah, just don’t expect it to be a routine thing,” 

You nodded, “Of course not!” she flashed you a forced smile then turned on the radio. It was some music by an artist you absolutely hated, and she was quick to notice the momentary flash of disdain on your face. 

“Do you not like this?” she asked though the answer was quite obvious.

You shook your head politely, “No, it’s alright!” she grinned almost evilly and turned up the volume. 

After the game, you and the girl stood together awkwardly, both of you waiting for the same boy to come out of the gym.  The doors opened a few moments later and the first person to appear was not Suna, but Atsumu Miya, “Suna, your fanclub’s here,” he chuckled as he continued walking, discreetly tugging the girl’s arm as he brushed past her.

“Hey-!” “Shut up for a second wouldja’?” he said lowly, looking back as Suna approached you, “I know yer’ gonna try some dumb shit, and this is important to Suna, so I needja’ to lay off,” he said. 

She frowned, “What are you talking about?”

“He’s gonna make it official with y/n,” he rolled his eyes at how oblivious she was, “jeez are ya’ stupid?” 

“He didn’t tell me,” she said with a scowl, “Let me go Atsumu I need to-”

The girl struggled in his grip, but his strength prevailed, “I don’t think so,” he said with a raised brow, “you’ve been causin’ nothin’ but trouble for them,” the setter explained, “so I ain’t lettin’ ‘ya go ‘till he’s done what he wants to do,” 

She peeked over the setter’s shoulder and watched as  your face turned a dark crimson, one of your shaky hands reaching for his. He didn’t jerk away, hell he didn’t even tense, his entire body just relaxed when your hand made contact with his and it was unlike anything she’d ever seen him do. In all the years she’d known him, all the times she’d touched him, he never once looked the way he did now. 

He pulled you away, behind a wall near the bathrooms. Atsumu had finally let go and she quickly followed the path you and Suna had taken. The setter clicked his tongue and followed her to make sure she wouldn’t do anything stupid.

She would have too. Done something stupid that is, if she hadn’t seen the look on his face just before he kissed you; absolute content. It was like you’d made all his other thoughts and feelings just disappear, and she knew that even if she managed to tear them apart and get him to be with her, Suna would always wish she were you. 

“I think I’m gonna go now,” she squeaked. 

“See ‘ya at the wedding,” Atsumu said snidely. 

She silently wondered if he was joking. 

=

Ahh those were so fun to write ;-;

[square-blunt]

I love my friends, they make me feel alive again, or at least they remind me that I'm not even dead

I am kicking and screaming i must put this one and another Esmp fic out before tomorrow and I am very Nyoom rn so I'm sorry if this one isn't as good, I really liked the way it turned out so here have some clingyduo fluff bc yeah I can writing things that aren't angst?? What? no one dies and their best friend holds them in their arms this time?? fuckin crazy. /lh

TW- Abandonment anxiety, ptsd WC: 2530 words Ao3: :3

It was Tubbo's birthday today. Tommy had been planning something for weeks- grinding, mining, stealing, going through ax after ax getting wood. He even asked Foolish for some help, and after those weeks, he had finally built a perfect replica of the L'manberg bee house. It wasn't in L'manberg, of course, but Tommy was sure Tubbo wouldn't care.

He didn't fill the basement with wolves, but he did get two or three bees in there- he named them. Beeinnit, Ranbee, and Tubbee. Tubbo and his two best friends, but bee form. Tommy was still Tubbo's best friend, right? He knew that Ranboo was more than a friend to Tubbo, the two were married, Ranboo couldn't technically hold both titles, and Ranboo was too dumb- he needs to stop blaming Ranboo. Sitting in the bee dome, planting a few last flowers- cornflowers, poppies, sunflowers, and white tulips, Tommy realizes that he needs to stop blaming Ranboo. He needs to. Because Ranboo was a good… enderguy. And he was good for Tubbo. He had asked Tubbo if Ranboo made him happy- Tubbo nodded, and that was good enough for him. He needs to stop blaming Ranboo, and start looking at himself. Because if he and Tubbo aren't talking as much, of course, he's gonna find someone else to talk to. And he's learning to not blame himself for everything, he does blame Dream for that, but this isn't Ranboo's fault and it isn't Tubbo's. And Tommy knows that he and Tubbo are still gonna be friends. It's been him and Tubbo since the beginning, that's what he said before fighting Dream. And Tommy knows that he and Tubbo will have each other's back. He's just overthinking this, but he is still gonna try and give Tubbo everything he wants or needs. And try to give him the world that he deserves. He's gonna try and make the world a better place for him. And a bee dome is a nice, easy start. It was more tedious than anything- thank prime for Eret stealing the blueprints before Doomsday. They had the plans for every building ever created- they let Tommy have the one for the bee dome. They even brought over the bee that would become Tubbee. Tommy… wanted to forgive Eret. And he would. Eventually. Tommy kind of did that before going off to fight Dream- Eret was the last person he talked to. And Eret looked so relieved when Tommy said that he thought they were the true king. They had been there for him and Tubbo. That was good enough for him. He did think that Tubbo, Ranboo, and Eret, even, were his best friends. He knew that Puffy was his friend, and her griefing his house was just some friendly pranks, and he enjoyed having something to do. Shit was getting too buddy-buddy around here. Wilbur… he wanted to be Wilbur's friend- brother. He wanted the Wilbur who started L'manberg, he wanted the Wilbur who would sit down and play a song. He knew that Wilbur was still there. Somewhere. He stops to touch the petal of a cornflower next to him. Blue and yellow are on opposite ends of the color wheel, but they mean the same thing to Tommy. He loves, and misses, his best friends. They make him a better person. He doesn't have to be the bad guy.

Tommy shields his face, the sun setting and glaring into his eyes through a window. It's almost night, shit. He had put enough lanterns and shroomlights in the dome that mobs wouldn't spawn, but he wasn't so sure about outside. There was some pathing, courtesy of Foolish, and there was some light around, but he wasn't sure. Because mobs weren't the only thing that darkness hid.

Tubbo whispers to you: I'm here boss man

Tommy smiles. He had asked Tubbo to meet him at the community house, after his birthday party in the mansion- Tommy had left early to put the flowers in and told tubbo to meet him there whenever he was ready.

/msg Tubbo: k I gotta do one last thing

/msg Tubbo: be there in a sec

He's almost happier it's night, it'll look a lot cooler from a distance. He plants one more cornflower next to a hive. He brushes his hands off on his pants, and then brushes his pants off, and checks his reflection in the window. It wasn't too far of a run back to the community house, the dome was just to the side of Eret's castle.

"Tubbzo!" Tommy runs up behind his friend, who, unfortunately, had his back turned.

"Tommy!! You scared the shit out of me, fuck you-" Tubbo said, Tommy laughing.

"You fucking jumped, like, 30 feet in the air," Tommy says, a shit-eating grin on his face.

"Fuck you," Tubbo repeats, lightly hitting Tommy in the arm, beginning to giggle as well.

"Come on, I spent so fucking long on this so you'd better like it," Tommy says, beginning to drag Tubbo out by his forearm.

"Yeah, is Ranboo already there?" Tubbo says, walking at pace with the other.

"What? I haven't seen Ranboo since the party." Tommy says, a pit in his stomach opening up.

"Huh, he said he was going to go help you with my birthday gift. You never saw him at all?" Tubbo says, voice laced with worry.

"No, was he going anywhere before coming to me? And- and I never told him where this was- only Foolish knew. So I don't even know how he'd find me." Tommy says, his grip loosening on Tubbo's forearm so he could pull away if he wanted. Tubbo didn't.

"No, he did that weird thing though, he calls me Tubbo and talks to me like you or Foolish would." Tubbo walks a little closer to Tommy.

"What's off about that?"

"Ranboo usually calls me beloved or snow angel, and he'd talk to me like a husband would, yknow?"

"He calls you 'snow angel?'" Tommy screws up his nose.

"Oh, piss off," Tubbo smiles a little.

"But still, we can look for him on our way? Unless you wanna look for him now, the be-irthday gift can wait."

"A beirthday gift, you say?" Tubbo says, smiling.

"Oh, piss off," Tommy mimics Tubbo, "but seriously, if you wanna look for him we can." Tommy stops and turns to face Tubbo, giving a reassuring squeeze.

"No, no, it's- you made it, whatever it is, I'm sure he's fine, and I'm sure he'd want me to go ahead," Tubbo says, looking up and smiling slightly.

"If you're sure. Because fucking Prime, this shit took so fucking long and I had to practically beg Foolish to help…" Tommy continues to talk to Tubbo, trying to distract him from his currently missing husband. Eventually, the moon high in the clouds, they get to the start of the path.

"There's no way you did this." Tubbo laughs.

"I didn't- Foolish did the path but I built the actual thing," Tommy says, letting go of Tubbo's arm, "I'll race you!" and off he sprints.

"NO FAIR YOU KNOW WHERE IT IS!" Tubbo laughs from behind him.

"BYE-BYE BEE- boy-" Tommy skids to a stop, not long after rounding a corner of trees. He can see flames, high over the tree line, the light eating away and the surrounding stars, in the back of his mind he hears explosions- there aren't any explosions, Tommy, it's just a forest fire, there isn't any TNT, there isn't any TNT-

"Oh, is that… supposed to be on fire-" Tubbo stops next to him, Tubbo's hand on Tommy's forearm this time.

"No- no it-" Tommy straightens up, and he catches a glimpse of someone running away- a figure behind the trees, he blinks, and it's gone-

"Tommy?" Tubbo turns to look where Tommy was looking- where the figure was just moments before.

"N- nothing- Tubbo get- get behind me-" Tubbo's grip tightens on Tommy's arm as he pulls Drista's dagger out of his inventory, holding it in his other hand. Together, they creep up the path, until what's left of the bee house comes into view. It’s engulfed in flames, and all of Tommy’s hard work is being eaten away before his eyes. Tommy curses, puts the dagger away, and pulls out his water bucket.

"You've got-" Tommy motions at the bucket

"Yeah- and c'mere," Tubbo says, pulling on Tommy’s arm, throwing a fire res pot up. Tubbo lets go of Tommy’s arm as the shield washes over them, Tommy's skin feeling tingly. Together, they manage to put out the fire and put out a few trees that had caught before it spread anywhere else. They end in the dome, the roof all but gone, one of five beehives on the top floor remain.

"Oh, Tommy-" Tubbo begins to say, sadness heavy in his voice.

"Yeah, yeah, I spent fucking ages on it. Can't have shit- the gods must hate-" Tommy begins bitterly, collecting the last of the water, and putting it back in his hot bar. At least before his knees buckle under an unanticipated pile of weight. He hears Tubbo laughing from right behind him- he jumped on Tommy’s back, “Fuckin- Get off of me-” Tommy laughs, too. He doesn't mean anything by it, there's no malicious tone to anything he says to Tubbo- and Tubbo's one of the few people who actually understand that.

"I know exactly what this is-" Tubbo says, standing straight, a hand on his hip.

"What it was supposed to be." Tommy, out of habit, mirrors Tubbo. "See, why can't we have nice things? Fuckin, everyone else gets cool buildings and kingdoms and shit why the fuck can't we have a bee dome in the middle of the woods- what, why are you laughing" Tommy gestures vaguely at the rubble before raising a quizzical eyebrow at Tubbo's silent giggles.

"What it was supposed to bee," Tubbo says, cackling, and Tommy groans.

"Augh Tubbo, now is not the time-" Tommy rolls his eyes

"It was never meant to bee-" Tubbo laughs harder, clutching his stomach, leaning on Tommy for support. Tommy finds himself laughing a little bit,

"Ok, yeah, that was a good one- you wanna bee a hero, Tommy?" Tommy mimics Techno in a high-pitched voice- sending Tubbo into hysterics.

"We- We-hehehe- We would rather die than give into you and joi- join your SMBee-" Tubbo says between fits of laughter, making Tommy bark out a wheeze, "That was- was beeasier than I thought-"

"My unfinished symphobee-"

"TOMMY-"

"You can't control who lives who dies who-"

"-tells your storbee?"

"Yeah-hahaha! F- for Tommy to bee exiled-"

"That was so fucking stupid why'd I do that-" Tubbo shakes his head, his laughter subsiding.

"Because that's what you thought was best, you had no way of knowing what he was gonna- what he was gonna do to me-" Tommy says, the tone becoming solemnly serious.

"-If I had known I never would have done it, I would have told Dream to shove it up his ass, you know that right?" Tubbo says, reaching for Tommy's hand.

"Of course. We're best friends, I know you'd never do that to me." Tommy squeezes his hand. Tubbo lets out a breath, and he looks like a massive weight has been lifted off his shoulders. As much as he feels guilty admitting it, Tommy's glad Tubbo's been worrying about that. It means that he cares.

"Should he go in there and see what we can rebuild?" Tubbo says, rocking back and forth on his feet.

"If any, but- the bees!" Tommy breaks into a sprint, tugging Tubbo along with him with a yelp.

"Bees?" Tubbo easily gets his footing as they fly down the stairs, and all of Tommy's breath leaves in a sigh of relief. He can see three balls of yellow and black in a patch of flowers.

"Oh, thank prime," Tommy says.

"Oh, the flowers are L'manburg colors!" Tubbo reaches down to pick a poppy.

"Yeah… I tried to think of as many things as possible because I know how much L'manberg meant to you-" Tommy flails his arms out- Tubbo launching himself at Tommy- into a familiar hug, their laughter bouncing off the walls.

"It's fine, Tommy," Tubbo says, his voice bright- and Tommy becomes coldly aware of a memory- the last time Tubbo had roughly tangled him into a hug.

What am I without you?

Yourself?

"Tommy?" Tubbo's pulled back, a- at this point- very familiar concern on his face.

"I'm alright- just, bad memories. I'll be alright-" Tommy shakes his head, pulling Tubbo back into the hug.

"Are you sure? We can stop for a second- sit and talk?" Tubbo says softly from Tommy's shoulder.

"No- not on your birthday, I promise- I promise I'll be alright, this is nothing I haven't done- we haven't done before," Tommy says back, tucking his head into Tubbo's shoulder, trying to chase the pit in his stomach away.

"You sure?" Tommy can feel Tubbo's hand smooth down his hair. Tommy just hmms in response. "Do you think they- the bee's are asleep?"

"What do you mean?" Tommy looks up, he can't see the bees, but he doesn't want to leave the hug.

"The smoke, you think it put them to sleep?" Tubbo muses.

"Maybe," Tommy mutters. "Fuckin- I spent days on this." it was more of an inconvenience than anything at this point. "Do you wanna rebuild it?"

"Not right now, I'm tired, boss man." Tubbo sighs. Tommy realizes how tired he is, too, the familiar ache in his bones.

"Me too, Tubbzo, me too. Let's go home?" He says, making no move to back out of the hug. Tubbo just hums. And so they stand there, until they figure out they can shuffle together- at least to the stairs. Tommy laughs at the image this must make. Two boys, one half-cow, one half-dead, who would rather tear up the ground and trample flowers than break their hug. By the time they do eventually get to the stairs, they both are laughing. Tommy notices that he laughs a lot more whenever he's with Tubbo. He also notices he gets tired a lot quicker. Puffy would say something about Tommy feeling safe around Tubbo, enough so that he shows emotion and lets his guard down, but Tommy knows that. He yawns, he is actually really tired. Tubbo yawns too, and they help each other up the stairs and out of what's left of glass and wood. About halfway down the path, Tommy stops and looks over his shoulder, at the space between trees, where he saw-

"Whacha lookin at, big man?" Tubbo asks from beside him.

"Nothing- I thought I saw someone running away from the fire when we first got here- I think maybe they were the one that did it, but I didn't catch their face." Tommy says, half lying. It was true, he didn't catch their face, but he'd know those two glowing eyes anywhere. He knew who it was. No way he was gonna tell Tubbo about it.

Because he was almost sure it was Ranboo.

[nessianthrowaway]

ACOSF 78.5

Wrote a chapter that i felt was missing, plz convey ur thoughts  plagiarized the sex scene bc that felt uncomfy to write lol

 Hours later, once Feyre and Nyx were sound asleep and Rhys had some color return to his cheeks, Nesta and Cassian flew back to the house. The new family was under vigilant watch by Mor and Elain, the latter who had refused to let Madja leave without the finest bouquet made from the rarest plants in the river house garden.

Mor had winnowed Gwyn and Emerie back to the library – Emerie had no desire to return to Windhaven just yet, especially when her home had been torn apart both by their Illyrian kidnappers and later, by Cassian’s utter panic. Nesta was not quite ready to part with her sisters-in-arms just yet, but knew they all desperately needed a bath and a warm meal.

Alone in the sky, Nesta rested her head against Cassian’s shoulder. She savored his scent, taking deep, heady breaths of him as they flew under the twinkling stars in the sky. She savored the feel of his strong heartbeat alongside the steady beat of his wings. She pressed a kiss to his jaw and idly traced the veins of his neck. She had missed this feeling desperately over the past week. And for a few terrifying moments on the slopes of Ramiel, she thought would never be in his arms again; the though threatened to set free the tears she hasn’t yet shed. Cassian must have sensed the direction her thoughts had headed in and only clutched her tighter to him.

Cassian flew them higher and higher, and with each beat of his wings, Nesta allowed the bone-tired weariness to creep in. She couldn’t remember the last time she ate a full meal or got a full night’s rest. She ached to be reunited with her bed or be reacquainted with the House’s culinary creations.  

A few wingbeats later, Cassian arrived at the landing of the House. He gently lowered Nesta down to her feet, but as soon as her legs touched the ground they threatened to buckle. He wordlessly lifted her back up and carried her past the threshold of their home.

“Welcome home,” he whispered against her ear.

Nesta shuddered; her home, her friend. In response, the house brushed a calming wind against her forehead, and Nesta could smell of roast beef (or was it a steak?) wafting from her room and hear a trickle of water coming from the adjoining bath. As if the house knew exactly what she needed; an old nursemaid indeed.

Cassian carried her down to her room and cautiously set her down. Her knees wobbled but she remained upright. They both silently took in their surroundings and started; in the corner of the room stood a spiral staircase, a staircase connecting her room and Cassian’s above her.

Cassian chuckled, “Guess someone has been doing some redecorating while we’ve been away.” 

“I guess so,” Nesta mused. To the House she said, “Thank you.” Nesta could’ve sworn the air around her bowed in response.

“What should we do with my room upstairs – we can turn it into an indoor training ring. Or an auxiliary library. Or into a giant closet. The opportunities are endless,” Cassian grinned. 

Nesta blinked away the tears threatening to let loose. It was so silly – so silly to be brought to tears by something this mundane. But to have options, to have the ability to plan for the future. The future with him. This was something she would never again take for granted.

“We can do whatever we want.” She said in response. She took in a deep breath. “But right now, I think I really want a bath.” 

Cassian nodded. “I can’t say I like the scent of you in another male’s clothes. I’m looking forward to using this outfit as kindling.” 

Nesta snorted, and slowly, painfully walked into the bath chamber towards the already drawn bath. The enticing scents of lavender and lilacs drifted towards her; but she found herself too exhausted to peel off her clothes, oversized though they were. Cassian silently entered behind her and gently took off the stolen, stinking clothing. He lifted her naked body into the bath and Nesta groaned at the first touch of warm water against her aching body.

The water didn’t sting against her injuries as it should have; taking a quick glance at the bottles lined up next to her told Nesta that the House had mixed a healing salve into the water. Nesta couldn’t be more grateful.

As soon as she was settled in the bath, a tray of roast beef and vegetables appeared in front of her, resting across the tub. Next to the main course was the most beautiful slice of chocolate cake Nesta had ever seen. The sight of the steaming meat and shining dessert had Nesta ready to break down in tears again.

“Looks good enough to eat.” Cassian said, a touch too innocently. Nesta smiled up at him.

“Do you want to get in?” She asked him, echoing the question from so many months before.

The amber in his eyes darkened, his eyes scanning over her body like a brand. His gaze lingered on a cut on her shoulder; Cassian sucked in a breath, and schooled his face into neutrality. Courtier indeed. His response was the same now as it was then, and a softer type of pain slashed across his eyes, “You’re hurt.” 

“That didn’t stop you before.”

Cassian growled, low and heady in his throat, and Nesta’s blood sang in response.

Cassian pointed towards the tray of food. “Alright. Get started on your dinner. I’m going to go dispose of these godsforsaken clothes and be right back.” Cassian turned and picked up the pile of torn and dirty clothes and strode out of the bathroom.

Nesta’s tired and aching body thrummed in anticipation, creating a strange combination of exhaustion and eagerness. She turned her attention towards her food, and began to eat, counting down the seconds until her mate returned. 

*

Cassian hadn’t been gone more than four minutes when he returned to the bath. He laughed softly at his view: Nesta dozing off, in front of her a half-eaten plate of roast beef and a second plate, completely empty, where not a single crumb of chocolate cake remained. Nesta’s mouth was lined with her dessert; he had never known his mate to be an ill-mannered eater, but the residue from her meal showed him how starved she must have been.

Mate. His mate. He leaned down and helped himself to the remaining beef and vegetables on her plate. This wasn’t quite the food sharing ceremony that he wanted, but what was hers was his, and what was his was hers. They might as well start sharing now.

He lifted the empty tray off the bath and set it on the floor. He turned to grab a towel but was halted by Nesta stirring.

“What took you so long?” She grumbled.

“I was gone for less than 5 minutes. You’re exhausted.”

“I don’t care. Get in.” Nesta threw as much bite into the command as she could, but her exhaustion won out. Instead, she wound up sounding like a petulant child. Irritated, she made to scooch forward in the tub and stared up at him expectantly.

Cassian loosed a sigh and rolled his eyes. “Your wish is my command, my lady.” He peeled off his clothes, keeping his eyes on hers. He wanted her – needed her – badly, but knew she needed rest. He lowered himself into the bath behind her, wings and all.

“Dunk your hair in so I can wash you.”

Nesta obeyed, and was rewarded by his fingers skillfully lathering something scented with lilacs into her hair. He massaged her temple, her hair, and behind her ears with such skill that she moaned. She felt him hard and ready behind her and made to reach for him. He flicked her hand away, his laugh a quiet grumble in his throat. Cassian leaned his mouth down against her ear to whisper, “When you’re healed and looking pretty again, then I’ll let you fuck me wherever you please in this House.” 

“Using my own words against me. You’re a quick study, Courtier.” Nesta chuckled, “You would think saving the High Lord and Lady of the Night Court would entitle me to some sort of a reward.”

Cassian felt his heart clench, and quickly forced the somber thoughts out of his mind. She had saved them; she had saved them all. He would never stop being thankful for his brave, beautiful mate. “Dunk your hair back in the water and we can get you dried up.” 

“I don’t want to leave the bath yet. I like it here.”

I like it here with you, were the words that were left unspoken, but understood, between the two of them. Cassian nodded silently against her, pressing a kiss to the back of her head.

Nesta leaned more fully against him and closed her eyes, and Cassian wrapped his arms around her waist. In their home, his mate in his arms, he relished in this moment. This is more than I could have ever dreamed of.

Nesta whispered, “You’re more than I could have ever dreamed of.”

Cassian stared down at her, but her eyelids were drooping and he knew that she needed rest. He only held her closer and began soothing strokes down her leg.

Safe in her mate’s arms, Nesta slept. 

*

Hours, or maybe even days, later, Nesta awoke in her bed. It was dark again – could she have actually slept an entire day? She rubbed her eyes awake.

Wings, she realized. She had been sleeping cocooned in her mate’s wings; they both were. She turned to face him; her beautiful, kind, and fiercely loving mate. Her love.

It was rare that she awoke before him; his Illyrian training had him up at the crack of dawn every single day. It wasn’t often that Nesta had an opportunity like this, an opportunity to stare at his perfect face. A face she hadn’t seen for a week. A face she hadn’t been able to fully appreciate in their reunion that had been cut short.

Conveniently enough, they were both naked – she peered down and laughed quietly. Even in sleep, he was ready for her.

Nesta lifted an arm to trace the velvety membrane of his wing. She traced from its outermost border toward his back, stroking determinedly where skin met wing, and pressed a kiss to his chest, trailing her mouth upwards. She reached her other hand down and began pumping him softly, and felt her own wetness begin to pool between her legs.

“Good morning,” he whispered when her mouth met his.

“Good morning,” she whispered back, smiling. She lifted her hips in silent command.

Grinning wickedly, Cassian obeyed. He nudged at her entrance but halted there, and Nesta whimpered.

Cassian snickered, “Still so impatient, Archeron.”

Nesta growled. She arched her neck in a second command digging her fingers into his shoulders, and Cassian didn’t hesitate a single second before licking up her neck and plunging into her at the same moment.

I missed this. Being drenched in you. Nesta gasped at Cassian’s voice, as clear as any words spoken aloud, in her mind. Cassian chuckled, his laugh a song to her blood. One of the many benefits of the mating bond, in case you forgot.

Cassian drew out in a long slide, leveraging Nesta’s stunned silence to his benefit. He thrust back, seating himself fully and watched her eyes roll back into her head. The sight of her so undone so quickly had him ready to come instantly, but he willed his cock to relax.

He withdrew again, and watched his cock slide out, gleaming with her wetness, and then plunged again. With every thrust, he lost himself in her, as if he hadn’t already done so weeks, months, and years ago. He lost all sense of himself, and there was her, only her.

I love you. He said into her mind with every thrust. I love you.

Nesta couldn’t stop the barrage of tears freeing themselves from her eyes. The words that had evaded her for so long, the words she knew to be true with his every action and every glance in her direction. The words she didn’t know she needed to hear until now. 

“I love you,” she choked out, “I have always loved you.”

 I love you. With everything I have ever been, with everything that I am, with everything I will ever be. I love you.

Release barreled into them both at the same moment, and he rammed up into her with such a mighty thrust that they both screamed. She clamped around him, and he spilled as much of himself as he could into her.

They clung to each other, Nesta stroking his arm and Cassian clutching her tightly to his chest on top of his thundering heart.  

“I love you,” he whispered, silver lining his eyes, “More and more with every passing moment, with every passing day.”

She kissed him deeply, letting her lips and mouth and tongue convey what words could not. Surrounded by the love of her House, the love of her mate, and her growing love for herself, she said to him, do it again.

Cassian grinned, happy to oblige.

[blueboltkatana]

JESUS FUCKING CHRIST

GUrll ur so sexy... Like you're Hot. I don't care if you were bullied in school, you're sexy, they lied.

Also bitch I KNEW i related to you too much our ascendants are both in leo we're so hot.

Ok ok no now I'll stop complimenting and start with the roasting here we go:

So the sun is your sense of "self" it represents you on the more base level i guess you could say, like what most people think you're like is represented by your sun. With Sagittarius being your sun it means you're very energetic Especially for those things you are passionate about, you might have gone through a LOT of hobbies, only a few of them stuck around but you like to try things. You're curious about the way people's minds works, you wanna figure them out. If the conversations you have don't involve some form of psychoanalysis or philosophy you might loose interest. You are a Talker, maybe you talk very fast or you are often told to lower your voice but you don't do it on purpose you're just very very animated. You are kina volatile, in the sense that you value freedom in everything, love, work, hobbies. You have a huge rebellious streak and you kinda like testing your luck. Think adrenaline junkie. It's cliché but with this much Sagittarius in your chart you prob love traveling, like i said you will chase freedom because you associate it with happiness. If you find people that make you feel free then you feel happy. Rules don't go well with you. You don't really like being involved with fights per se but you LOVE debating, if you can beat a motherfucker with nothing but facts and logic you will and you will enjoy it.

Your way of flirting or making friends is "lowkey bullying" or my favourite "verbally throwing hands". If they shoot back you get heart eyes (my mars in sag agrees). You can be tactless as fuck tho. Like you will say some outrageous shit that MIGHT be funny if the timing is right or MIGHT make everyone in a 5 mile radius mad.

I NEED to talk about your moon in sag bc Babe, babe the moon tells us about our emotions and how we deal with them, how we express them and how they shape us. But BABE. Sagittarius moons are so bad at comforting people it's embarrassing, trying to make them think of smth else or do smth else to distract from the situation is NOT a good way to deal with your emotions... Avoiding your emotions like the plague is not gonna invent a vaccine... Saying "everything is fine :)" DOESN'T MAKE ANYTHING FINE PLEASE GO TO THERAPY. ok to give you some credit, you don't let shit bring you down, no matter what you always get up and that is a *strength* that i admire, but love you're burning the candle at both ends, especially if you get yourself in More problems by trying to distract yourself from One problem.

Also you've had a horsegirl phase or a dog obsession phase or both huh. AND your love language is sarcasm but the type that you will make someone laugh when you're insulting them. You're also hilarious irl you're prob the "funny friend" but with that scorpio mars and venus baby inside ur sad and dark as fuck ripp.

I also wanted to talk about your mercury in sag... Babe... Do you know what a brain to mouth filter IS?! do you recognize that word?!?! Cuz you have never used yours i think. Like you are hilarious but that's because you have dolphins in the head cavity baby. Not trying to say you're stupid, you're actually very smart and opinionated, probably have been told that you'd be a great lawyer or smth. But miss gurl please think before you speak for the love of god ur gonna make someone cry. Also ur mouth is foul. Have you ever spoken a sentence without a "fuck" or a "cunt" somewhere in there?! God bless.

Now for your scorpio Venus I'm just gonna say, more confirmation that ur Sexy as Fuck, scorpio venuses are just sexy, amazing partners, VERY passionate, whoever dates you will never forget you, for better or for worse you'll forever be on the back of their mind. You had a harsh emo phase huh, maybe loved some obscure shit like witchcraft or just love dressing all black like someone's mother died, i bet you wear silver jewelry a lot, maybe necklaces or rings or chockers. If this isn't how you dress now it was prob a major phase in your life. Or maybe you just love horror movies idk

Being as passionate as you are you don't take well to being mistreated or lied to, you might like to plot revenge and things like those, you wouldn't do anything... You actually prefer letting things go but you WILL make an elaborate scenario in your head at 3am or even as you stare right in the persons face.

With mars in scorpio you might be kinda passive aggressive, maybe you act like things don't really bother you but you throw a comment or two once in a while just to stir the pot bc you can't move on lmfao.

You are attracted to people that are introverts or generally just mysterious, like i said above the nature of the Sagittarius is to Learn and to Study. People that you can't immediately figure out intrigue you. All your crushes are either on geminis or water signs lmfao.

The best careers for you are the ones that allow you some freedom of either movement or expression and something that can keep your mind from flying away, something that keeps you intrigued, like research or writing. You're a very "all or nothing" person and it can sometimes scare people away, i advise you to work on compromising, being less stubborn and more open with your emotions and desires.

(part one bc I'm taking too long and I don't wanna keep you waiting so much) I'll reblog this with part 2

Alright here we go part 2 of Roasting hella until she finds out I'm hiding in her walls.

I will skip over some planets that are Very slow moving and usually don't talk about you as an individual but refer to your generation as a whole.

I wanna focus on lilith for a sec bc worstie lilith talks about our fears, our more "darker" side that we hide from ourselves as well as the people that we love. Lilith in aries in the eleventh house tells me you might be afraid to take charge, you gravitate towards positions of leadership but you let go on the last second, almost afraid to have too much control, very often self sabotaging your own success. Your anger and you own ambition might scare you, you might be afraid of appearing too aggressive bc under your skin you have a deep rooted anger and rebellion that you wish to relieve but you can't find a good enough outlet, some things soothe it but you always feel like it never leaves. It might be related to some form of resentment that you never truly dealt with and now it sits uncomfortably with you and you just can't get over it and it bothers you. You might have been shy in groups as a child, maybe you talked a lot but it was always from a fear of the silence not always because you had something to say. The eleventh house is that of groups and friends and social awareness, technology and your hopes and wishes for the future, having lilith in this house talks about someone who had a hard time feeling comfortable around people OR someone who wasn't very accepted. You might have desperately wished for friends but have found it hard to find any. Or if you did, you deep down felt very alone. I would advise to learn to accept your anger and deal with it in healthy ways instead of brushing it off and repressing it.

The north node talks about what you need to focus more in your life for example in your case with Gemini in your North node you need to focus more on your communication letting go of anxiety and your relation with other people you need to become more interested in intellectual pursuit and growth. You need to let go off the need to always be right and look more at details instead of focusing on on the bigger picture all of the time. When your North node is is in Gemini then your South node is in Sagittarius which tells me that what you should focus less on is your pursuit of freedom and your rebellion. Be more aware of your words and use them with maturity.

Now let's have some fun with the ascendent in leo which we share and now i see why ur so relatable. The first house or the ascendant is that very superficial layer of our personality, it includes the way we carry ourselves, our style, the little habits or quirks we have. One thing about leo ascendants is that we have an obsession with our hair. Hair is important to us, some have huge hair that might remind you of a lions mane, others just have very unique style or color but we ALL are lowkey or highkey obsessed with it, either constantly touching it, pulling it, chewing on it, cutting it or dying it in unique ways you name it. You might have a rather large nose or cat like eyes.

This ascendent is full of life and light, very funny, light hearted and luxurious, you want to live that good life and i don't blame you. A negative aspect is that we come of as intimidating to others. ALL of my friends AND my ex have at some point told me I was intimidating to them. It makes us prone to overcompensating for it later in life so maybe now you're super outgoing and extroverted and you approach people first and try to be super friendly. Also you're an attention whore (affectionate) with a flare for the dramatics, very flamboyant, you basically fill the room with personality, it attracts attention and you love it. You're what people would call a "sunny" person.

You're hella competitive (get it lol) and you LOVE fighting your way to the top and crushing the competition. You're probably a weirdo that low key likes school. Not the way it's run or the teachers or whatever, but the "idea" of school. If you could just learn all your life you absolutely would.

Second house in virgo. The 2nd house is the house of money, work, income, daily routines, values, material possessions, habits, work ethic ect being in virgo it means you can have an extremely good work ethic, you put a lot of thought in planning and mapping your work, you might get overly critical on your work though and often undermine your own success and efforts because they didn't fit your impossible standards. You can be very organized in your work, you want things to be a certain way and if they don't follow your plan you will Make them. Its a good position for virgo but yoh need to be aware of not overworking by trying to do Everything on your own. Let others help you, and let people in your work do their own things don't try to help if not asked to because you will overwork yourself.

The third house is that of the mind, thinking, communication, siblings, interests and early education, in your case it is in Libra which means that you're early education might not have been very stable or it was a period of time that you look back with a lot of fondness but not much substance. You are a good talker but you get lost when it comes to details, you are indecisive when it comes to settling on an opinion on something if you don't have All the facts first, you always want to be right. You are pretty open minded and easy to talk to but you might have the bad habit of rambling off topic. You change interests constantly and you prob like to talk about others, you wanna know the tea if it kills you. You prob had a crush on a childhood best friend or on a hot neighbor. Your relationship with your siblings might be pretty good, friendly, no particular resentment or anything like that, you might be the one that everyone treats a little better, people let you get away with things more often, you might be the one that takes 2 hours in the bathroom lol.

Oof fourth house in scorpio babe how are the mommy issues? 😬 How is your relationship with your femininity? Having trouble with keeping secrets? So the fourth house is the one responsible for your home roots, your family, self-care, emotions, your mother, women and your femininity and having Scorpio here tells me that you might have very strong ties to your family, but they weren't healthy or emotionally supportive. You have grown with people that might have undermined your emotions, people that didn't teach you to set healthy boundaries and maybe even manipulators and gaslighters. You might have been the type to put your foot down a lot a home, assuming a very dominant role as well as the defender. You're very private about your family life and don't want to let people too close.

Ah i just noticed u have like 3 planets in this house including ur Sun and Moon, babe this house is what you need to focus on when you go to therapy. This almost secretive, guarded approach to understanding your own emotions is very prominent in how you see yourself, how you feel and with Pluto there, how you change. I could say the biggest changes in your life have happened in these areas and they have left the biggest impacts on you. Yes you are passionate and protective but don't let bad feelings marinate forever, address them and then move on from them because they're just weighting you down.

Fifth house in sag, also the house of your mercury. This house represents Love, romance, creativity, self expression, joy and childlike spirit. It tells me the way you express your creativity is through words which makes sense since you're a great writer, but not only, the way you express Love is also through your words, expression and free thoughts are your way you tell your loved ones how much you mean to them, think poetry, long rants, music recommendations bc of specific song lyrics, you have been writing form childhood and it's one of the ways you express your view on beauty as well, to you love is freedom and freedom is expression.

Capricorn in the sixth house paired with both uranus and neptune being in it tells me there is something about your knees, joints, bones or teeth in particular that stands out when it comes to your health, maybe you tend to break your teeth, maybe you like chewing on crunchy foods, maybe your joints crack a lot, idk but I'd drink my milk if i was you, take care of your joints and bones. Also for you, being emotionally unwell often translates to being Physically unwell as well, so be mindful of your emotions because they do affect you physically. You need to keep hydrated also and your health plan needs structure for it to work bc that neptune makes everything very chaotic and uranus constantly makes you bored and wanting to spice things up. Take care of your emotional needs just as much as you would with your physical ones. And for the love of jesus be CAREFUL with alcohol or smoking because that neptune in ur health house could mean serious trouble if you let it become an addiction, don't push it.

Aquarius in the seventh house of relationships, marriage, contracts, business partners ect means you are untraditionally traditional. That makes sense in my head let me explain. Aquarius is a sign that seeks individualism desperately, it likes to feel like a special person, impossible to understand. Yet always feels comfortable in the structure of traditional and safe paths. So for example you might marry someone in a way that is not traditional but at the end of the day you wish for your marriage to have a stability you would feel safe falling into. Also it says ur gay. Air signs in the relationship house says ur gay i Make the rules.

Pisces is in the eighth house of sex, intimacy, shared finances, inheritance, taxes, loans, property, mystery, partner's resources. This tells me you fuck with feeling lmfao. Or you simply make your love life something "special", a connection that only you and ur person can share, it's what makes you an amazing lover and an unforgettable one as well. But as amazing as you are at creating a otherworldly atmosphere, ur just as shit at setting boundaries and saying something when you don't like something. You don't like to see things that you love ending and a failed relationship makes you blame yourself too much, you have the tendency to stay in situations where you are being mistreated but you tell yourself It's on you.

A recurring theme I'm seeing is some weakness when it comes to liars or manipulators in your life. So either you irrationally fear people are lying to you because you "lie" to them about yourself or a lot of people in your childhood might have used lying or gaslighting as a way to keep you under control. I would advise to try not to overthink and become paranoid, people love you and they believe in you and they aren't deceiving you, they don't secretly mean something different from what they have said. Listen to your intuition about people sure, but don't confuse it with anxiety.

With lilith and aries in the 9th house of travel and higher education and religion I'm gonna assume you might have religious trauma. Religion might have been a way that people used to try and control you, if not religion then some form of system or government law. Being queer i completely understand the sentiment but in your case it's take a step further because you Value the ideals of this house so much, with lilith here, it's like at som point in your life you were finally awakened to how much injustice there was in the world ant that has made you very inclined to take action, you cannot stand unjust government or non tolerating religions. You might have felt crushed under an unjust system and it took you a lot of will and conviction to find your individuality and build yourself how you wanted once you were free.

Your midheaven in taurus tells me you are one that will achieve any goals you set your mind to. It might take you time, you might procrastinate around it, but at the end of the day, you will do it and you will do it well and it will be rewarding. If your father isn't a Taurus then he was a stable figure in your life, very much a rock for better or for worse. In your career life people will see you as very competent, very down to earth and helpful but you know you just procrastinated till the last second possible and stayed up all night do finish your work... You will seek careers that you believe will guarantee you stable income and a comfortable life. You might indulge in luxury from time to time because you think in order to get the position you want at work you need to look the part. Ultimately it's your sheer stubbornness and spite that gets you all the way up to the top of the food chain.

The eleventh house of groups, friendships, humanitarianism, and social awareness is in your case in gemini. It tells me you value friendship extremely and you surround yourself with a diverse cast of friends, you couldn't mix your different friend groups if you tried and you have tried. You have the habit of being too friendly to everyone which makes you end up with more friends than you know what to do with. You are approachable but people can get the impression that you are putting up a show or a facade and your emotions arent genuine, it's not always the case but you need to be more truthful and assertive, put some boundaries and don't let people get away with shit you don't like. Your public persona is very well liked, seen as fun and bright and smart and overall a joy to be around.

Now that last placement... 12th house cancer, i have the same placement and babe I'm sorry for all the shit you have been through. You deserve the freedom to be unhappy and to express that unhappiness in healthy ways. You deserve to be given unconditional love and support no matter how many mistakes you say you have made no matter how overly pessimistic you are about yourself it doesn't matter you're amazing and i love you and you deserve the world.

With jupiter the planet of expansion in the 12th house of endings, spirituality, solitude and karma?! Gurl i did say u were a cult leader but i didn't think it was astrologically backed up rippp. But it also says you might have a hard time getting the motivation to finish things, you might take a long time to finish a project. This house placements also tells me you're amazing at writing emotional ass fantasy stories which by now we have confirmed, but if you have like, an original idea for a book don't hesitate to get it started babe bc u have a very promising placement for that. Don't get too dragged into a sad whirlpool of emotions and daydreams but bring your creative ideas to life and you'll be fine.

This is all I'm doing today and i think it's enough lol. I'm posting this I'm sorry to my followers for the long ass post I'll tag it so you can filter it. This was a whole psycho-astrological analysis of our favourite writer Hellspawn1975. I have wanted to study her like a new lizard species for a while and i finally got the chance thank you hella for the opportunity.

Final words to @hella1975 i hate you and I'll fuck ur mom tomorrow, gn babe <3

[for-bucks-sake]

An Apron is Just a Cape On Backwards (Not a Superhero).

Pairing: Stucky x Reader Word count: 6K. This is a whole beast. I hope that’s not too bad.  Warnings: all the fluff!, some angst, smut!! (threesome, DP, fingering, attempt thigh riding.) ,some bad language, LOVE. And for the mad people who haven’t seen it yet: Endgame spoilers.  Summary: Everything was lost, but then it wasn’t. Reader, Steve and Bucky have to make up for lost time. Soon they find it not as easy as they thought, especially because one of them didn’t actually lose anything.  A/N: Some guy was annoying the shit out of me, trashing Steve and Bucky’s friendship, so I cheered myself up by writing a second part that literally no one asked for (also I might’ve written this only bc I’m obsessed with naming my fics weird shit). So this is part 2 of Missing Is a Recurring Theme! Hope you like it! (Also, I am a whore for artist!Steve.) **If anyone is interested, I actually have some spare time, so...Requests are open!

Gif is not mine.

“Hot Stuff Coming Through?” Y/n squinted to read the printed words on Bucky’s ridiculous apron, realization hitting her and she threw her head back, ringing laugh pleasantly filling the room, “when did you get this?”

Bucky was the only one standing in the kitchen. No sign of Steve. His growing hair was tied up on the top of his head in a failed bun, miserable strands of hair escaping it only to be coated with sweat and unidentified powders. Somehow, he managed to already severely stain the black apron and the breathable black t-shirt he wore underneath, spatula in one hand and a knife in the other.

“We got it yesterday,” he said innocent enough, flexing his impressive biceps in different poses, showing off his great new purchase. Y/n breathed, shaking her head, “Wait until you see Steve’s, and yours, of course! Which reminds me, get out of the kitchen!.” “You called me here!” She protested, hitting Bucky with the book she held; Oh, how she wished it wasn’t a paperback. “We’re working on a surprise for you, Darling. You have to keep your eyes closed, or at least stand with your back to us.” “Sure thing, Hot Stuff.” She chuckled, turning around just in time to face Steve going through the kitchen door, wearing a nearly identical apron, clear bag in his hand.

“I got the colors but I’m not sure we have enough blu-“ startled, he stopped talking when he saw her, just in time to hear Bucky’s loud demands he shuts the fuck up. “Colors? What are you two planning? It’s not even my birthday.” Steve gifted her with one of his loop side smiles, “I only said it to throw you off, sweetheart.”

He went around her and passed the plastic bag to the metal arm reaching for him in a sleek motion, pausing for a second above her head indecisively before  kissing the top of it. Bucky’s heart nearly skipped a beat.

Y/n touched Steve’s shoulder as a response, brushing the bare spot the white fabric of his shirt didn’t cover, it was somehow quieter than before.

Bucky cleared his throat, “hypothetically speaking, if we wanted to bake a cake.” Y/n opened her mouth, but was cut when he continued, “hypothetically! Do we really need to add eggs? Back in the day only flour and water were enough.”

“OH MY GOD.” She groaned at Steve’s amused face,

“So…Is that a yes?” Bucky asked again, looking genuinely lost,

“I’m out of here!” Y/n almost sang, stressing the the last words. She left the room, unlocking her phone while imagining the horrors said room is going to go through.

She stepped back, pulling herself closer to the kitchen space, but never entering - only her head visible - “I sent you a link, there are thousands of recipes for cakes. Just choose one.”

They looked grateful, hands petting their pockets, already looking for their phones, “thank you, doll”

She nodded, almost leaving again; “you sure you don’t need help?” She asked on a second thought, blinking and bringing her arms to her sides,

“We’ll be okay,” Bucky said, “besides, this is supposed to be a surprise, c’mon, let us do something nice for you for once.”

She bit her bottom lip and sighed, “Ok, whatever you want.” She stepped out of the kitchen again, “Just, please don’t paint the kitchen with food coloring, it’s going to be a hell to clean up.”

“I told you, there would be no colors involved!” Steve yelled after her, followed by a not so subtle snort from Bucky.

“I thought superheroes weren’t supposed to lie!” Y/n fired back, making herself comfortable on the sofa, opening the book at the marked page. She heard Bucky laughing again, this time joined by his partner in crime,

“Well, good thing we’re not ones anymore!”

Domestic really suited them, she then thought, and happiness might make her explode.

-

“Stevie, this is…I’m at a loss of  words. It’s amazing.” Bucky always did love to praise him, all the way back to the 20th century. He could feel him, soft man inside soft clothes, behind him. Breath warm and light on his neck, making the small hairs erect from the proximity.

“It’s not even finished yet, you really think she’s gonna like it?” Steve eyed his work, melting into Bucky’s touch as he wrapped solid arms around his waist, kissing his shoulder and humming into his skin.

“I know she will.”

Steve shifted his body, turning around to meet a beautiful pair of eyes, today more grey than blue; like ocean skies early in an April morning. It’s a little game he likes to play with himself - what did Bucky’s eye color resemble today? In all the years he played, he didn’t get the same answer twice.

“What?” The skies in his eyes chuckled along when Steve stared too long, the skin around Bucky’s eyes wrinkled, a pleasant reminder of how his life had changed, laughter so acquainted with his face it decided to leave a permanent mark.

“Nothin’.” Steve smiled at the thought, feeling the hands around his middle tightened, “I just love you.”

Bucky licked his lips, gaze falling quickly to a pink, delicious mouth he could never resist. Their breaths were heavy, warm, mixing in the small space between them until Steve reached for his hair, resting his elbows on Bucky’s broad shoulders as he found his bun, fingers digging into it, messing it up impossible more, strands of hair falling to frame his face.

“Steve,” Bucky swallowed, nose brushing against nose, so close to him, he spoke into Steve’s own lips.

“Yeah?” He breathed, teeth nibbling at Bucky’s bottom lip, beard grazing his smooth jaw,

“Kiss me.”

Their mouths connected, Steve’s hands still in Bucky’s hair, knotting and pulling harder, forcing him closer; Bucky gasped, head tilted right as he found a better access, his tongue moving slowly over Steve’s lips, sucking on the corner of his mouth. Steve panted Bucky’s name, releasing one of his hands from his hair and bringing it to cup his jaw; right hand pulling his chin up, allowing Steve to trace his tongue on the warmth of Bucky’s, pressing his teeth lightly into his lower lip. 

They smelled like baking, with the faintest hint of sweat. Bucky’s pulp lips sugary to the taste, probably from all the bites he snuck into his mouth, ignoring Steve’s protests.

Metal hand soothed up and down his back, chilly material still unusual to the skin even through a t-shirt. Steve leaned his back against the counter, parting the kiss with a wet sound. Bucky smiled lazily, eyes hooded  as he nuzzled his face into Steve’s neck, fluttering kisses into his most sensitive spots,

“God.” He signed, brushing lips against the sharp edge of Steve’s jawline, “I miss your beard.”

-

Screams from the kitchen was all she heard before she threw her book to the side, cursing everything in the world she had to abandon the last ten pages unread.

Muffled swearing, a terrified “Steve.”, a burnt small and when she entered the kitchen, grey smoke.

“What happened?” Y/n asked, catching her breath but still very much alarmed.

“Nothing!” One of them said in an unnaturally high squeak she couldn’t recognize. Steve cleared his throat, “nothing.” He said again, more composed, fanning furiously the smoking oven along with Bucky.

Once the loud beeping sound stopped - smell still strong and unpleasant in their noses, but the black screen died down - they faced her, the epitome of innocence with their boyish smiles, posture hunched as they fiddled with their hands, looking astonishingly alike.

“We’re sorry.” Steve said, eyebrows furrowed as he struggled to look up, “it’s m’fault. I was so busy paint- working on something else I got distracted-“

“No no, we both know it’s on me, I should’ve-“

“I’m gonna stop you right there.” Y/n said, arms crossed against her chest as she cut them both sharply, they could be so serious sometimes. “All you did was burn half the kitchen! Lighten up guys.” She continued before they had a chance to speak, “there are no faults, I’m not mad.” She smiled, as to convince them she was telling the truth.

Both men exhaled at the same time, relieved the mess they made wasn’t gonna get them in trouble. “I can’t be mad at you, c’mon.” Y/n said wholeheartedly, bringing her arms to the side and walking forward, nudging their shoulders as to cheer them up, “I’m just upset you worked all day for nothing.” She sighed, searching for their hands, she took Bucky’s metallic palm in her right, and Steve’s in her left.

“It’s not entirely for nothing.” Bucky motioned, cupping her face, calloused flesh holding delicate features. He smiled at her, then at Steve, standing inside their impromptu circle made of limbs- “Now,” a dopey grin smudge his red lips, looking proud of himself, “we can get pizza!”

-

“You seemed a little too keen on throwing out all the food you’ve worked on, don’t you think? And look at the road!”

Bucky chuckled, stirring his gaze from her to the black sedan in front of them, “I’d much rather look at you, sugar.” He teased in a sickeningly sweet voice, y/n rolled her eyes, pretending to puke. “No one is moving anyway.” He hit the wheel in frustration, she swore she heard it creaks, “and for your question, darl’,” Bucky looked at her again, “I am extremely,” he stressed, “bummed out it didn’t work. And I mean EXTREMELY. Besides, it wasn’t the main surprise, Steve’s still working on it at home.”

“Yeah, yeah,” she huffed, gently touching his jaw and guiding it to face forward; he opened his mouth, tilting his head down to try and bite her finger, he grazed it with his front teeth and kissed it. Her smile turned to a loud laugh as a very enthusiastic driver honked his horn off behind them, universal way of signaling someone to fucking drive. Bucky didn’t have to look to see the “I told you so” all over her face.

“Shut up.” He muttered under his breath,

She pursed her smiling lips, looking innocent as ever, “I didn’t say anything.”

-

They drove in silence, Bucky hummed to the beat of her fingers drumming on the window.

“Is something wrong?” He said suddenly, making y/n jolt herself up.

“Is there something that should be wrong?” She asked, confused by the unforeseen question,

He sighed heavily, “with you and Steve…I mean.”

Oh shit. “I don’t think so, no.” She swallowed, picking at her fingernails.

“I thought superheroes weren’t supposed to lie.” Damn them, both of them and their way of knowing exactly what she feels.

“I’m not a superhero.”

“You are to me.” He said quietly, both looking intensely at the road.

“I’m not lying,” she exhaled, bringing her abused nails to her lips, biting, “it’s just… Everything is good, you know? Great. I love you, I love you both more than ever.” She shifted in her sit again, visibly uncomfortable.

“We never talked about this.” Her voice was quiet now, barely above a whisper, “I mean really talked about this. When you were gone…it was hard to keep going like everything was normal, so we somehow adjusted to a new normal, our normal. And then you came back, which I’m grateful for, everyday.” She bit her bottom lip, bringing her legs closer to her lap.

“I wake up and I see you, I see him, and I want to cry. Cry because I never thought I would be this lucky again. But when you came back we had to discover the old normal again, remember it, face the damage our previous poor way of coping did to us. Five years is a long time, Buck.”

She was holding her breath, Bucky could tell, the way she was holding her thoughts up until now.

He often forgot. He hated the feeling of memories disintegrating from his grip, in small, unnoticeable bits that he worked so hard scraping together. Most of the things come back to him eventually, the good and the bad. But this was a different type of forgetting; this time he had nothing to remember.

Sometimes it just hit him, when he watched them. How everything so drastically changed when he was gone. He saw it in the dark circles around her eyes, never seemed to fade or to brightened, no matter how much time had gone or how well rested she was. Sometimes it was in the new crease on Steve’s forehead, a grounding reminder that they, too, can run out of time. Sometimes he saw it in their faints attempts to wake up early for morning runs, can’t keep up even when they do. Sometimes it was in the hesitation in Steve’s eyes, every time he came in contact with her skin, almost afraid she doesn’t want his touch anymore.

For Bucky there was nothing to remember, but for them- there was too much to forget.

And he hated it, blaming himself in true Bucky Barnes fashion. Like he had any say on the matter. Sometime, he thinks that if he had, he’d tell them to move on.

Bucky’s life were hard on him, cruel, even - but they also taught him that time was invaluable. Precious seconds and moments had to be clenched on to, not be wasted, not be overlooked; that’s how he knew they should’ve let go. Instead of latching onto the memory of him, distant fading version of  the man he is in their minds, they could’ve started over, make their new normal a permanent one. They could’ve learned to love each other without him. They could’ve healed.

In a greedy, ugly pit inside the dark depths of his heart he was glad they didn’t, selfishness getting the best of him, thinking he might have killed himself if he woke up only to realize he doesn’t have anyone to wake up to.

Five years is a long time.

He gripped the wheel harder with two hands, nearly creating small valleys in the shape of his fingers, “He loves you.” He hushed, in a way that was almost intimate, like a secret.

“I know.”

“Sometimes I think he is going to break. He lost me so many times. Too many times in one lifetime. If he didn’t have you…He would’ve.”

“I would’ve, too.” Y/n whispered,

“I know.” He said softly, body loosen up as he spoke, “you kept each other together, you saved each other from falling apart. That’s love.”

She stayed quiet as Bucky found a parking spot, squeezing the car in a tight fit.

Her mind was roaming, she had a lot to think about.

“Let’s go?”

-

“God I missed this place.” Bucky beamed at the smell, his entire demeanor changes as they walked into the small pizzeria. Fresh dough was baking, a game was on on the beat up TV screen near the freezers, fluorescent lights planting small stars inside his eyes. Suddenly, y/n felt different, too.

They found their way between the tables, an old woman with a child were sitting to their right, a young couple to their left, some elderly men yelled at the television, heating up in a meaningless argument over the players.

They reached the cashier, first in line. His eyes looked tired, yet he treated them with a smile accompanied with a cheerful “what can I get ya?”,not letting the long shift get to him. “We’d like two large pizzas please, one with extra cheese…” Bucky’s voice faded as she dived deeper into her thoughts. His left hand was light on the small of her back, chilling the narrow strip of skin revealed when her t-shirt rode up.

Y/n looked around, tuning down the talking and the noise even more, only to catch a glimpse of a familiar face, now very less bearded, somehow younger looking. A small towel in a soft yellow hung from his shoulder, and the friendly smile that was always there didn’t disappoint, directed to her yet again. He nodded as their gazes crossed, an undisputed spark of recognition floating inside his eyes as he glanced quickly at Bucky.

The old man didn’t stay much longer, responding to the loud “dad!” calls from the back by returning quickly, not before he caught y/n nodding back, latching Bucky closer.

-

They drove in silence. Y/n trying to balance the square boxes on her lap as Bucky allowed himself to steal a slice, taking a bite every time they stopped at a red light.

“This is,” he announced with his mouth full, defying the quiet, “the best pizza ever!”

She chuckled, tightening her grip around the sides of the steaming carton, “save the declarations for Steve, I don’t really care for it either way.”

“You have to decide which side are you on!” Bucky said, finishing and swallowing his bite, looking at her, “playing both sides isn’t going to work any longer baby.”

“ROAD!” She grunted, momentarily losing her balance and falling forward, almost covering her entire sit with cheese and sauce.

“Y/n? You okay?” Bucky’s voice was concerned, and he was looking at her, again.

“I’m fine! Stop looking at me!” She moved, adjusting to a more comfortable position,

“C’mon now, you know I can drive us safely with my eyes closed.”

“I’m sure you can, you’ve had a lot of practice, too?” She scuffed,

“As a matter of fact,” he tensed, smiling sadly, “I have.”

They didn’t talk for the rest of the drive, and Bucky didn’t stir his eyes from the highway.

-

“Time for the surprise!.” Bucky announced after they sat down, eating wordlessly except from his occasional blissful moans, and Steve’s grumpy noises of disgust.

Y/n looked down at him, baffled. Her hands paused their continuant motion in the past twenty minutes. He sat between her legs, hard feelings long forgotten - placated by tender twining of fingers through his hair; chipped nails gently scratching his scalp and slowly descending to the top of his shoulders.

Steve looked up as well, tossing his pepperoni slice back to the box, willingly abandoned. “Sure. I’ll go get it.”

Y/n glanced at Steve, immediately bringing her gaze down to Bucky again, “C’mon, you really shouldn’t have.”

They both dismissed her, getting up and disappearing in the kitchen.

Y/n followed them with her gaze, despite her protests she was giddy with excitement, what it was didn’t matter - the thought of how hard they worked on it all day was enough to make her happy with whatever they made.

Blond head emerged from the room first, quicker than she thought, followed by Bucky- their hands bearing gifts;

Steve held three aprons, and what looked like a tray with a knife on it, laying next to something that was covered, she couldn’t see what it was.

Gently pushing the nearly empty pizza boxes, Steve placed the tray on the table, tossing each the matching clothes.

“Are we really gonna wear them?” Hers was different, printed colors all over it, and even in its folded state she had a vague idea what was on it.

“Open it!” Bucky clapped after he finished tying his behind his back. He was a little too enthusiastic. She caught a glimpse of Steve smiling conspicuously, can’t keep a straight face as she unfolded the apron, revealing a picture of a very detailed, hairy belly. Rolls that seemed like they were acquired by abusing the use of beer, and a pair of man boobs that horrifiedly were too similar to her own for her liking.

Both men howled with laughter, can’t contain themselves any longer when she put it on.

“Do you like it?” Bucky snickered, wiping tears from the corner of his eyes.

“You know what?” She raised an eyebrow, checking herself out, “It’s kinda growing on me.” How unbelievable it was that technically, those men were over a hundred years old.

“Good.” Steve tried to keep a straight face, failing miserably, “because you’re never, you’re never taking this off.”

“Oh, never? Not even for…?” Y/n bit her lips suggestively, looking at them as they looked at each other. She was just teasing, getting them riled up as a payback. She was trying to be funny, but their expressions weren’t as playful.

She stayed in her place, untying the ridiculous apron, unbuttoning her jeans and letting it fall down to her hips.

That was quick, she thought as they walked towards her in unison, trapping her between them and the couch.

Bucky pushed down the denim, letting her step out of it while he sat, parting his legs and pulling her down for a kiss.

Steve tangled his long fingers in her hair, smoothly pressing her against Bucky’s lips, deepening the kiss as she moaned into his mouth; Bucky groaned, hoisting her up on his lap, desperately seeking more friction. His metal arm clutched her waist with a force she knew was going to leave bruises, his other hand was holding her head in place, replacing Steve as he began to kiss her neck, sucking at the skin until it was red and angry. He smirked when she cried out, breaking the kiss only for Bucky to pull her back in. Steve licked at the ruptured blood vessels, soothing them with his tongue before he moved to a new patch of skin.

Y/n gripped Bucky’s shoulder, dire for even the slightest relief, grinding against his clothed crotch, using him to keep her balance. She was suddenly stopped when his arm held her hips steady, not allowing her to move.

“Uh, uh sweetheart,” She heard Steve rasping in her ear, biting at her earlobe, making her squirm under him, “you’re not getting off that easy.”

It was like they found their rhythm again, like buying a new record of old songs; they held her between them, undressing themselves and what’s left of her clothes, not even bothering to leave the couch.

Being so close to them was like a cure; nothing could touch her, nothing but them. She felt the weight of Steve’s lips on hers, tracing his soft tongue on her teeth, breathing lightly into her, opening her mouth for him. She didn’t need anything else.

Bucky found her right breast, bare and soft, with only the contrast of her hardening nipple reacting to his slow circles around it, only stopping to pinch her pink nub, rolling it between his fingers. He chuckled softly when her breath hitched, clinging to Steve’s naked chest and pushing her ass closer to Bucky’s cock.

She shifted on his lap, somehow; now facing Steve, mouth on his, and her back to Bucky, allowing him a better access to her sex.

Slowly, he lowered his hand, the cold of the metal meeting her heat, creating a contrasting sensation that made her whole body shiver with pleasure.

“Look at you,” he whispered in her ear, syncing the movements of both of his hands on her, “you’re so wet.”

Y/n hummed in response, hand shaping into a fist around Steve’s bicep when he caught her other breast, giving the same attention to it as Bucky.

“You’re so good for us doll.” He kissed the edge of her jaw, “Such a good girl, so wet for us.”

She groaned as Bucky slid a smooth finger inside her, slowly pumping it in and out, stretching her enough to insert a second finger between her folds.

“Faster, please.” She cried, mouth now free as Steve resumed working on marking her skin, sucking at her collarbone, allowing her to be as vocal as she wants.

“Steve, Bucky,” she bit her bottom lip, unable to divide her attention; Bucky moving faster inside her, thumb teasing her clit, and Steve squeezing her tits, bringing one of them to his mouth and scraping her sensitive nipple. It was all becoming too much.

Her hips buckled, breaths becoming more urgent as she moaned their names,

“Do you want to cum, darling?” Bucky asked from behind, not any less urgent than her, his cock becoming uncomfortably harder against his stomach and her ass by the second.

Y/n nodded furiously, swallowing a sob when a third digit entered her, “oh shit, I’m so close.”

Steve caressed her cheek, tracing the shape of her red lips with his thumb. She kissed it, taking it in her mouth fully, tongue spiraling its form and coating it with her saliva, hollowing her cheeks around it.

The heat rose to her face, knots tying up inside her stomach and going higher and higher, taking her closer to the edge.

“It’s okay, sweetheart. Come for us.”

She didn’t know who said it, too caught up in her own pleasure, but it was enough; The waves of her orgasm hit her all at once, she moaned loudly around Steve’s thumb, as Bucky didn’t stop, riding her high with her, fingers still being pushed in and out of her, milking her of her pleasure with sweet reassurance in her ears.

Bucky kissed her shoulder as she came down, still sensitive when he pulled his fingers from her heat. He growled when he saw how drenched they were, the metal collecting a good amount of her juices, “Fuck, baby.” Bucky smirked, both men fascinated by her reaction to them as if it was the first time, “I always miss your taste so much.”

He brought two wet fingers to his lips, relishing on her cum, moaning in pleasure for how sweet she is. Steve shuffled closer, bringing himself so close he was sharing Bucky’s lap with her.

He bit his lips, hungrily eyeing Bucky’s forefinger, untouched, still dripping with her. 

Steve secured his hand around the metal wrist in a firm grip, waiting for Bucky to lick his fingers clean, and taking the third one into his mouth, sucking at it until there was nothing left.

Bucky swallowed, cock twitching at the sensation of Steve’s tongue on his body. The subtle reaction captured Steve’s attention, and he moved even more forward, squeezing y/n between them, her eyes hooded in a post orgasm bliss, renewed arousal starting to form in her core again when she felt the weight of Steve against her sensitive pussy.

“C’mere.” Steve motioned, voice deep from lust. Bucky swallowed again when he felt a tug at his hair, pulling him forward. Steve crushed his lips on his, the delicious flavor of y/n still on their tongue as they tasted it off each other, breathlessly exploring. Steve took a hold of Bucky’s thick shaft, stroking him from the base to the tip, removing the precum with his thumb and smearing it on y/n lips blindly, not breaking the kiss. She whimpered, eagerly licking it off.

Steve’s hips jolted involuntarily, forcing them to part, barely catching their breath.

“Fuck, Steve…Please.” Y/n moaned at the new friction, suddenly needy for more. He positioned himself farther, just in front of her entrance, teasing her with his tip, as Bucky parted her thighs, holding her in place.

She shifted, head shaking as she turned to Bucky. “I want both of you.”

His breath hitched in his throat, the clutch of his fingers tightening around her, “it’s been so long, baby. Are you sure you’re read-“

“Please? Bucky, Steve?” She was begging now, voice small, eyes pleading, the pink blush on her cheeks matched the scarlet color of her lips, reminding Bucky of a rose. The red tint casted a celestial shadow across her face, highlighting the splatter of freckles on her nose, her dilated pupils overpowering the color of her eyes. There’s so much self restraint a man can have.

“Okay.” He said hoarsely, barley able to control himself, “whatever you want, darling.”

She smiled, biting her lips to obscure it. She didn’t care it’s been years since they were both inside her. She wanted them. Needed them.

Bucky dipped his fingers inside her soaked core, coating himself in her fluids. She gasped when he pulled them out, slowly, his other hand was parting her asscheeks, searching for her entrance.

“Shh,” Bucky kissed her left shoulder, rubbing circles around the tight ring of muscles, using her own juices as a lubricant, “relax for me, baby.”

Y/n sighed, feeling Steve length on her folds, still not pushing inside her. He stroked her hair, leaving fluttering kisses on her neck, so different from the aggressive lovebites he previously left there.

She felt her muscles loosen around Bucky, slowly but surly opening her up for him.

“Buck.” She inhaled sharply as he managed to get a finger inside her. Steve was rubbing lazy circles on her clit, and she thought she’ll cum again, the familiar coil in her guts starting to form.

“Again already?” Bucky chuckled behind her, recognizing her rapid breaths and the clutching of her walls around him. He added a second finger, sliding inside her smoothly, “I guess we’ll have to pick up the pace.”

A couple of pumps later, and he pressed a third digit into her hole, it was a tighter fit, muscles resisting it at first, but he was persistent.

“So tight.” He exhaled, humming at the nape of her neck. Y/n opened her eyes, not realizing how hard she shut them, only to see Steve’s hungry look on them, devouring both of their naked forms.

She felt the fire igniting in the pit of her stomach, a softer pleasure washing her when she came, panting and hiding her face in the crook of Steve’s neck.

Steve chest vibrated with laugher, placing a hand on her back, “Are you okay?”

Y/n nodded, leaving the safety of his neck to look at him, words too difficult to form.

“We’re almost there,” Bucky reassured, gathering her newly found slick to coat his cock, pulling out his fingers. He moved himself to her entrance, stretching her painfully even with all his caution.

“Yes, just like that baby, you’re doing so good.” He praised her while caressing her arm, moving another inch deeper until his base hit her ass.

She let out a strangled gasp, shutting her eyes and correcting her breaths. Steve squeezed her palm, signaling her to open her eyes. She looked at him, already looking wrecked; “Are you sure, y/n? It’s okay if you-“

Y/n bit her bottom lip, smiling at him as sweetly as she could, “pretty please?”

The man huffed, letting out a low chuckle and placed himself against her dripping cunt, thrusting his hips into hers, gradually filling her up.

“Oh shit.”

It was always overwhelming at the first thrust. Being so full she forgot how empty she used to be. The stretch opening her up, reminding of something she hasn’t felt in five years. Right now, she might’ve felt complete.

She wasn’t ready, until now, having them both in the same level of intimacy like before. But this was so impromptu, so raw, so them; it was only natural for her to feel like herself again.

They stayed still inside her, giving her the time to adjust, already twitching, and she felt every inch of them against her damp walls, clenching around them, making it unbearable for them not to budge.

Y/n was the one to initiate. Recognizing how restless they grew, she rolled her hips, a whine escaping her lips just when Steve and Bucky moaned deeply, holding onto her.

She did it again, this time it stung less, her body getting accustomed to the presence of them inside,

“Y/n.” Bucky groaned, holding her hips in a steel grip.

“Yes?” She blinked at him, innocently.

“Stop that.”

“Why?”

“You’re hurting yourself.”

There was a pause, “I’m not, it’s okay.”

Steve and Bucky shared a look above her head, brief but meaningful. Steve pulled himself back slowly, stopping at the half of his length, only to pound into her again; she shut her eyes, her hands on Steve’s bare chest, feeling the flex of his muscles under it.

Bucky did the same thing- he drew himself out and pushed back in, knuckles tightening around her middle.

Beads of sweat formed in the valley of her breasts as they slammed harder each time, picking up a pace between themselves, moving in turns and then together, whispering words to sooth her pain.

Y/n was a mess under them, being so completely full, any discomfort long gone or replaced by pleasure.

“Guys,” she whimpered, “I’m close.”

Her eyes teared up, head shot back and met Bucky’s shoulder; she squirmed, able to taste her edge now. She couldn’t take it, her hips shifting involuntarily to the sides as they fucked into her.

They held her still again, nearly collapsing over her from how close they were, how good she took them.

She was the first one to come. Waves on waves of pleasure striking harder than before. She could taste her salty tears and hear herself screaming, nails clawing at anything she could find.

“Fuck!” Bucky grunted, hips thrusting into her repeatedly until he came inside her, leaning his head on her neck, holding her close for Steve to continue until he got his release.

“Shh, baby." Bucky whispered, “It’s okay, we’ve got you.” Steve rocked her body, crushing his hips into hers desperately, his eyebrows furrowed, cheeks rosy. He was close too.

She whined, clutching walls around him for the last time, not having any energy left in her to do anything else. Steve inhaled sharply, the tightness of her pushing him over the edge.

He spilled hot shots inside her, nearly collapsing on top of her in a tangle of sweaty bodies.

They stayed like this, not daring to move, still buried deep within each other.

“We forgot the cake.” Y/n laughed breathily.

“You weren’t supposed to know it’s a cake.” Bucky muttered, toying with a couple wet strands of her hair lazily.

“We kinda gave it up, Buck.” Steve admitted, “I’m pulling out, sweetheart.” He gave her a few seconds to prepare -say goodbye to the comforting warmth of the both of them surrounding her- lifting himself up using the arm of the sofa. In one slick motion he was no longer inside her, the sudden emptiness alien and unwanted. A mix of her juices dripped down her legs slowly, blending with the shots of cum Bucky left in her, too, as he mirrored Steve’s actions, removing himself from her hole.

It was awfully lonely all of a sudden.

“C’mon baby.” Bucky lifted her up as well, handling her as gently as he could, “let’s get you cleaned up.”

“No, no.” Y/n protested, “I wanna see the surprise.”

“It can wait for tomorrow.” Steve said, piling up the boxes on the table, cleaning up after them.

“You didn’t spend all day making it so I would see it tomorrow, show me.” She was stubborn, persistent, they knew too well it was a losing battle once she sat her mind to something. And she was already set on the couch again. They exchanged looks, sighing and sitting down to her sides.

“It’s not much.” Steve said, suddenly feeling self conscious about his work.

“It’s amazing,” Bucky reassured, knowing Steve isn’t going to uncover it himself so he did it instead, peeling the cover off to reveal it.

Y/n gasped, drinking in the work of art in front of her; It was a rectangle shaped chocolate cake, completed with white frosting evenly spread on top.

There was a painting drawn into the cream, light strokes of brush that only one person could create, a beautiful mess of blue and red, like watercolors fighting to create harmony between them. It was them, it took her a while to find sense in the chaos, but eventually she recognized three figures, fitting into one.

 Beautiful.

“Steve.” She breathed, “we’re never eating this.”

“We’re not sure how edible it is, anyway.” Steve laughed in relief, embracing her and kissing her temple.

“We are.” Bucky all but jumped on them, wrapping his arms around the two in an awkward yet loving hug, their laughs ringing together in a gracious melody, “It’s not.“

[the-arcana-asra-thot]

Asra × Female!Reader

• (Y/N) is having an anxiety attack and suffocates herself into fainting and then Asra finds her and is like

     - wtf no

     - uhh,,, I need to comfort my baby!! !!

     - and then imma ask her what the heckle she did and reassure her that I love her bc I do >:((

• And ye!!

//tw- mentions of anxiety attack and suicide attempt\\

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Hot tears streamed down my face as I trashed and kicked, making my blankets and sheets fall off my bed.

My barely present nails raked down my arms, leaving pulsing red marks down my appendages. I clenched my teeth and winced at the sensation.

I gripped at my hair and pulled, my lungs heaving with effort.

I let out a long held in cry, hearing it echo in the small shelter of Asra's room.

I fucking hate myself. Why does anyone even give me the time of day? Probably because they pity me. Who wouldn't? I'm just a hopeless lost cause, after-fucking-all. Or they just use me and then they will throw me aside once I'm drained and even more futile than before.

I sat up abruptly and slapped my hand over my mouth painfully.

I don't deserve to let it out. I deserve to self-implode and die agonizingly.

I stopped breathing, hoping to silence my pathetic sobbing. I knit my brows together and shut my eyes tight, concentrating on shutting the fuck up.

Suddenly, my world became dizzy and twisted; distorted intensely.

I didn't let go, though. I kept my hand firm over my damp nose and mouth, suffocating myself with increasing effort.

I opened my eyes and blinked my tears away, attempting to get rid of any signs of struggle.

I honestly couldn't tell if I was slipping out of consciousness or if I was closing my eyes; I couldn't decipher anything that was going on; my mind was clouded by a storm of pessimistic thoughts, and I restrained myself of any liberties at the moment, anyway.

••°°°°••

I wake up with sunlight dappling my features, highlighting every inch of my face. My throat is dry and my head is reeling. I attempt to sit up, but to no avail. I was exhausted.

I saw water on a small, carved wooden table. I reached a shaking hand toward it and gripped the contained liquid. I threw all my strength into sitting up, and this time, I was successful.

I brought the bowl to my mouth, being pleasantly surprised by the feeling the warm sensation that the heated stone caused my lips to feel.

The water smelled of honey and sugar.

I smiled weakly. This would make me feel much better.

I let the warm, welcoming liquid slip down my throat and swallowed it slowly, relishing the feeling.

Quicker than I would have liked, the liquid was less than a mere drop in the bottom of the bowl. I set it back on the bedside table.

I let my memories of the previous events flood back to me. Dread overcame my senses.

Asra must have seen me like that. Oh, no.. I didn't want him to see me like that. I.. I let myself go because I thought he wouldn't be back for a while.... he.. must've sensed something had gone awry.

I groaned and buried my face in my slender hands, feeling my eyes to be extremely puffy.

I gently pushed away the covers that Asra had presumably laid overtop of me.

My bare feet touched the polished wooden surface of the floor, the chill shooting up my legs.

I shivered and headed to the bathroom, looking in the small mirror Asra keeps on a shelf in his wardrobe.

I looked like hell.

Well, it felt as though I had experienced it, so.. close enough.

I smoothed my hair down and continued my minuscule trip. I felt the even colder tiles touch the soles of my feet.

I gasped slightly before grabbing the brush I had abandoned on the bathroom counter.

I brushed it through my hair, making my (thin/thick) and (hair type) hair volumize. 

I let the faucet water run, waiting for it to warm up; I was tired of feeling cold.

I let my fingers travel under the flowing water, attempting to let the feeling resonate within me.

I dampened my hair, making it flatten and getting rid of the frizz.

Once I was done, I turned the water to be frigid and rubbed my eyes, hoping to subside both the puffiness and redness that infested my eyes.

I sighed sharply before walking down the steps and looked into the booth that we held our tarot readings in.

I reached out lazily to brush back the curtains and entered the shop proper.

As soon as I entered the main room, I felt warm arms wrap around my waist and felt hair softer than cotton tickle my forehead.

I gasped, startled.

Soon, I eased into the hug that Asra had provided me, letting his love and comforting presence wash over me.

His voice was barely above a whisper when I felt his breath caress my ear.

"Did you attempt any-... anything yesterday?" His voice wavered, and his usually steady breathing hitched a bit before resuming, this time slightly more shaky.

My shoulders drooped with guilt. I didn't think he would know.

"I-I.. no."

The words hung in the air, obsolete with any meaning or truth, and Asra could sense that.

"(Y/N)," he began cautiously, "Are you telling the truth?"

He pulled back so he could look into my eyes.

His soft lavender orbs were not warm and happy as per usual, but hurt and worried. Barely evident tears lined his bottom lid.

"Asra, I-"

He grabbed my shoulders, his lips quivering.

"Don't lie to me! Please, I need to help you. I.. I need you."

His words cut deeper than the sharpest blade could ever.

I looked away. Guilt was emanating from my entire being as my (eye color) eyes searched the floor, seemingly for an answer or distraction.

He pulled me close to his body and let out a weak sob.

"Pl-please don- don't ever do anyth-thing like that again," Asra choked out, sniffling as he held me closer than he ever has before.

Silent tears streamed down my face.

"I won't. Ever. Please, don't cry.." my words wavered and I rubbed circles into Asra's back, wanting to calm him and reassure him I will never leave him.

He continued to sob and I rocked him back and forth and slowly led him to the couch in the back room and sat down next to him, still cradling his form in my arms.

Once he had calmed down a bit, he met my gaze.

Wiping tears from his beautiful eyes, he said, "Promise y-you won't ever-.. ever take yours-self away from me?"

"Oh, Asra.. I promise. Sincerely. I wouldn't ever want to hurt you like that," I said, giving off my most honest aura. "Please know that. I love you, and I would never even come close to damaging you like that."

Asra seemed satisfied with the answer and pulled me into his lap and made me straddle him.

Once again, we sat in silence. The only sounds we listened to each other's shaking breath and in sync heartbeat.

I let my fingers run through his soft hair and rubbed his back with my other hand.

"I love you. So, so, so much. Never forget that," Asra mumbled into my chest.

I smiled sadly. "I know. I won't. I love you, too. More than anything I've ever known."

I pressed my lips to the top his head, hoping to reassure him that my words held the utmost truth.

••°°°°••

I wake up with warmth surrounding my frame, comfortable as ever.

I smile and find Asra's hand, bringing it up to my lips in an affectionate manner.

"Hello, beautiful. Had a good rest, I hope?" He mumbled, his voice groggy from sleep.

I chuckled. "Yes, it was lovely. What about you?" I turned around to look into his eyes that I adored too much to put into words.

"The most fantastic sleep I've had in a while." He smiled and pulled me closer.

"Mm, that's probably because you're always sleeping somewhere foreign, hm?~" I tease him, propping myself up with my elbows.

"You got me," he spoke. "Stay here, I'll make us some food. Also, I'm keeping the shop closed today. I'm thinking we should take this as a vacation day for just the two of us~" he prompted as he walked out of the doorway.

"Sounds like a plan, my love," I call to him, snuggling into the couch, already missing his warmth.

My fingers grasp onto his shawl that he left behind, bringing it close to my face.

I let his scent enter my nose, filling me with bliss.

He smells like his favorite smoky-tasting tea and cinnamon- with a hint of vanilla, as well.

I smiled and yawned, content with my life.

I get up, longing for his presence.

"What are you making? Smells delicious~"

He looks back at me, smiling.

In that moment, my breath was taken away and I knew he was the only one I am ever going to love and that he is all that I will ever need.

"Asra.." I breathe out, taking in all of his features.

He turns around and cups my cheeks in his hands, suddenly concerned at my change in demeanor.

"Are you alright, my love?" His concerned eyes search my face.

"I.. I think I just fell in love with you all over again." I laugh, peppering his face with kisses.

"Ah, I do that all the time," he whispers, drawing me close.

We stare into each other's eyes with small, contented smiles dancing on our face.

"I-" we both began at the same time.

Asra laughed and I beamed in amusement.

"You go ahead, (Y/N)."

I smile and brush a stray curl out his his face so I could see more of his dazzling features.

"I just wanted to tell you how much you mean to me. Nothing you do could ever make me not love you, much less dislike. You.. You're so perfect, and I'm overjoyed I got to be a part of your life, and you a part of mine. I feel privileged and lucky to have gotten to spend any time at all with you. I guess what I'm trying to say is.. I love you. Unconditionally. No one else could make me love them more than I love you, no matter what they did or however hard they tried. Just know I will forever be here for you, and know that you are appreciated, even when we have a small quarrel."

The words slip out of my mouth so easily, as if already engraved in my brain. Or rather, heart.

Asra scooped me in flush against his body and kissed me with burning and powerful love. No other emotion besides love and happiness was poured into that kiss.

I felt warm and protected in his strong grip.

Nothing could ever feel more welcome and blissful as this. Just Asra and I. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

That was eh.

I liked it but,,

I kinda

h a t e d

the uh

ending.

[finishercar]

all cat asks

oh fuck lol alright hopefully this cut works:

1. Name? orangina

2. Fur color? orange

3. Any family you know (other than you)? nope

4. Age? she’ll be 8 this year

5. Favorite toy? catnip filled yarn balls

6. Nicknames? sweet baby, little bitch

7. Cinnamon roll or problematic fave? problematic fave

8. Length of fluff? short

9. Any funny habits? she’s like conditioned by my alarm every morning to come pester me for attention and lay on me in that exact moment even though i have to GET UP

10. How old were they when you met? she was 5 i think

11. What does their food bowl look like? pretty generic silver colored one. full.

12. Indoor or outdoor cat? indoor but my mom’s new house has a covered patio which she loves

13. Recent picture? 

14. Old picture? 

15. Cuddly? very

16. Ever changed their name? yeah i think at the shelter it was like “autumn” or something

18. Eye color? yellowy green

19. How do they express love for you? hanging out next to me or in the room with me while i’m doing my thing or laying in my lap

20. How do you express love for them? lots of head scratches

21. Any theories on what breed? idk cat breeds very well so no

22. Do they ever wake you up? not really, but she knows when i am awake

23. How much do they meow? not too much, she makes these weird scratchy half meow noises a lot though that sound very bratty

24. Any hiding spots? under my bed mostly but she gets very creative when she knows she has to be put in her crate to get in the car. there have been at least three separate occasions where i thought she got out and got lost somehow when really she was just exceptional at hiding

25. Do they enjoy guests? it depends, she likes a lot of my friends when they come over to my apartment but she’s pretty indifferent to the rest of my family when we’re back home and when there are guests there she doesn’t come to hang out

26. Lofty objects to sit on? lofty? idk she sits on anything and everything that’s lying around. she definitely has favorite spots on the bed and the couch though

27. Wear a collar? (and describe collar?) i’m terrible so no she doesn’t but she should

28. How much shedding? tons

29. Do they enjoy brushing? not at all

30. Ever drink from the toilet? she would if she could but i keep the lid closed. she loves drinking from the sink and the bathtub and really any water she can find that isn’t from her bowl

31. How do they get your attention? crawling all over me

32. Embarrassing thing they’ve done? she just gets in very spazzy moods sometimes

33. Weirdest thing they try to eat? nothing too weird i think, the only human food she shows an interest in is chicken

34. Are they like your siblings, children, or friends? my best friend

35. What time do they eat breakfast? she just always has a full bowl so she eats whenever she’s hungry

36. Do you cut their nails? no, unfortunately she’s declawed in her front paws (she was declawed when i adopted her, i’m against doing that to cats)

37. Do you think they understand you? not really lol

38. Ever make fun of them? all the time

39. Do you take their picture often? all the time, i have a folder of selfies of her sitting on me and idk how many are in it at this point it’s a lot

40. Ever hiss at you? sometimes after i pick her up

41. Ever try to scratch or bite you? she bites bc of the no front claws when she decides she’s had enough petting all of a sudden

42. If you try to grab their paw, what do they do? probably bite, i wouldn’t try it

43. Do they ever eat bugs? i don’t think so?

44. Canned or dry food? dry, but sometimes i treat her to wet food

45. Weight? i think 8 lbs last time she was weighed at the vet but she’s a little chunkier since then

46. Ever got lost? no but there were times i thought she was

47. Do you buy them presents? yeah when i see a cute toy

48. Do they respond when you call? she doesn’t respond to her name but she responds to “kitty kitty kitty” in a high voice lol

49. Do they ever see other cats? yeah the other two at my mom’s house when we go home. she’s not a fan

50. Declawed? unfortunately

51. Funniest expression? her eyes are fucking massive so whenever something startles her or catches her attention they get even bigger it’s so funny

52. Favorite place to be pet? right on top of her head and behind her neck

53. Worst thing they’ve destroyed? she hasn’t really destroyed anything valuable

54. Give them a head kiss. done

55. What time of the year is most exciting for them? probably christmas bc she likes to lay under the tree and bat at the ornaments

56. Are they good at hunting real prey? probably not

57. Do they ever attack nothing? all the time

58. What are they doing right now? curled up sleeping next to me on the couch

59. How long have you had them? almost 3 years

60. If you could have them stay as a kitten forever, would you? i adopted her as an adult so it’s not like i’m missing anything

61. Ever baby-talk to them? of course

62. Favorite napping position? curled up in a circle

63. Have you ever stepped on their paw? probably by accident

64. Ever tripped you on stairs? not yet

65. Any ear hair? don’t all cats have ear hair?

66. Favorite view from a window? idk if this counts but at my mom’s house the stair railing has a glass cover it’s pretty modern looking and she likes hanging out on the stairs bc she can observe everyone from an elevated position

67. Describe why they are precious. have you SEEN her???

68. Fit the cat stereotype? absolutely

69. Chaotic neutral? of course

70. Do they enjoy following/ keeping you company? yes

71. Are you their favorite human? definitely

72. Do they like tv? she’s indifferent

73. Favorite noise to make? that bratty half meow described above

74. If they were a Neko Atsume cat, what would their momento be? idk maybe like a pillow

[mysticmikalla]

I GOT A HEADCANON FOR GODMIKALLA: The RFA’s reaction to Yoosung commiting suicide

*TRIGGER WARNING: SUICIDE, DEPRESSION, SELF HARM*

Yall i could barely write this bc my vision was blurry with tears, there was a lump in my throat all throughout writing and editing this but I hope you all enjoy it, and please don’t read if if you feel it might trigger you!

Now there is  a gaping whole in my chest so deep, someone please recommend me some Yoosung fluff so I can get over this pain

***

They were too late.

By the time Seven found him, his pulse was barely there and his last breaths were being taken. The white tile of the bathroom floor was now painted red with tears, blood and water.

The image of his friend’s stained and lifeless body, face frozen with pain and despair was Seven’s new haunting. The hacker had gone to check on him after a day of inactivity from the blond boy, and what he found was enough to shake their little organization forever.

Saeyoung was powerless and he felt his friend’s life dripping out of him by the wrists

“No, no, no, no,” He rushed towards his body, ripping a piece of his shirt and tightening it around his bleeding wrists, hoping to stop the oozing of warm, red liquid, “What did you do?! Yoosung, wake up. Please wake up!” He pleaded, but the body in his arms was unresponsive.

He broke every single traffic rule by rushing him to the hospital, but by the time he got there, Yoosung Kim was no more.

The news of his death spread like wildfire through the RFA. Saeyoung Choi had no memory of typing the words with shaky hand in the chatroom, his mind switching to automatic mode as the shock of what had just happened paralyzed him.

He was able to take in the member’s expression as they arrived one by one in the hospital, one more horrified than the other.

The first one to arrive was Zen, followed closely by V, and then Jaehee and Jumin, who arrived together.

Please let this be a prank. Please let this be one of Seven’s horrible pranks. Please.

No matter how much they silently prayed, the cooling body of their friend on the hospital bed was no prank. As the RFA gathered around in the lobby, trying to make sense of what happened, why it had happened, they all felt a deep emptiness as the space the gamer usually took up beside Seven was empty. There was one too few members, the sight of Yoosung’s usually colorful attire and bleached hair nowhere to be seen.

The organization wasn’t complete anymore, and it would never be again.

The silver-haired man had a lump so big in his throat, he could barely speak. The actor had never know greater pain than this, than losing one of his closest friends.

Memories of all the times he spent with him burned a whole in his mind. Memories that were supposed to be cheerful ones were now forever tainted. All the times Yoosung had looked up to him, the nights he would come to Zen for advice and they would end up getting drunk together slowly tortured him. The realization that he would never get to scold him, laugh and joke with him, eat his horrible-but improving- food finally sunk in, and Zen realized he had just lost his little brother.

The sight of him breaking down right there in the middle of the busy lobby was what triggered the rest of their reactions. Jaehee clamped her hands over her mouth in disbelief, shoulders shaking lightly as she sobbed. V felt his knees growing weak, and had to lean on Jumin for both physical and emotional support. But Jumin wasn’t doing any better. No matter how much he searched, he could not find the right words to say. There were no right words.

Seven just stood there, hands trembling and mind blank. Images of Yoosung’s dimpled smile and the last expression of pain he ever wore tortuously clashing in his mind, and he wanted nothing more than for his mind to stop. He needed it to stop.

As soon as she got home, and for weeks after, Jaehee frantically reread previous chat logs from when the boy was still alive. She was horrified with herself as she read all the things she had said to him, how she ignored Zen and Seven’s constant teasing of him and said some harsh things she thought to be true at the time. Had this been it? Was it because of the things they mindlessly said to him? Was it because of her constant comparison to Zen that felt he wasn’t good enough?

The guilt she felt was tremendous, and for days she shook with sobs, the absence of the blond boy being much greater than she could have possibly imagined. They had never been too close, Jaehee and him, and yet he was always there, cheering her on during her endless work hours. Even though he was innocent and naive, Jaehee found comfort in his late night words as he played LOLOL and she worked.

Yoosung, please come back. I promise I’ll be better to you. Please come back, please…

But it was no use pleading, which made it all the more frustrating.

His death hadn’t really sunk in for Jumin until after the funeral. All  of his family and the RFA members gathered, with the exception of the redhead. Everyone mourned the loss of the once bright and lively Yoosung, who’s last moments and words would forever remain unknown.

It would take months, no, years for the businessman to stop thinking about his old friend daily. Logically, he knew that there was nothing he could have done. He knew that suicide and mental illnesses such as depression went beyond his comprehension, but he couldn’t help himself from wondering.

Was there anything I could have done? Perhaps if I had been more persistent with that internship or made him a better offer, he wouldn’t have felt the need to do what he did?

Maybe the just needed something to look forward to?

Jumin’s memory was sharp, and he could recall all the times Yoosung whined about being feeling helpless, how he could never succeed and have the life Jumin had.

And it clicked for him then. Yoosung wasn’t whining, he was crying for help. All those times he talked about how he hated the life he had, that he wasn’t good enough or motivated enough to do anything, he wasn’t whining. He was seeking help from them, wanting desperately for someone to come for him. But nobody came. Nobody was there to support him.

And now he was gone.

Nobody saw Jumin’s tears. He made sure to mourn for his friend in the privacy of his home. He attempted to use work as an escape from those painful thoughts, but his mind kept wandering back to the blond.

“Help me… help me. Why couldn’t you help me, Jumin? Why weren’t you there when I needed all of you?”

V’s mind worked similarly with his friend’s. But as an old habit of his, Jihyun dug up every conversation, call, texts and interactions the two had ever shared and found fault in them, and found fault in himself. The mint-haired man could not sleep for weeks. The second he closed his eyes, he would see him. He would notice all the things he couldn’t before; how empty his eyes were, how forced his smile seemed. He appeared to have lost some weight and it was evident wouldn’t really go out anymore, just lock himself up in the solitude of his home.

Yoosung’s long sleeve shirts and sweater during the summer should have been indication enough.

He should have known. He should have fucking seen his pain! Jihyun should have been there for him, supported him instead of just brushing over the boy’s pain. The warning signs were there, they were written all over the chatroom and his expressions.

How could he have missed it? How could he have been so selfish and not cared about those close to him enough to save them? How could he fail everyone he loved?

“V,” Jumin would try to sound as collected as possible for his friend, but his own guilt was heavy in his voice, “You know it isn’t your fault.”

Jihyun would nod at his words, but not listen. It didn’t matter how much he blamed himself or not, Yoosung was not coming back.

Seven only visited his grave months after his death. He had seen his cold and lifeless eyes, he had picked his limp body up and felt his pulse disappear, but Saeyoung would not accept what had happened. He had known Yoosung for years, and there was just no way he could accept that he was longer there.

It couldn’t be? Suicide? Impossible. Yoosung would never…He wouldn’t…He can’t have…!

But he did.

The truth tormented the hacker with a million knives to his heart whenever he thought of him. He tried to imagine his last thoughts. How much pain did someone have to be in to go through with that?, he wondered.

Yoosung always had such soft and smooth skin, and he hated getting hurt. Did he suffer a lot as the razor made contact with his skin?

Was he scared? Oh, God, he was scared, the poor boy was terrified. He was so scared and alone, and his cries wouldn’t reach anybody’s ears.

“He was alone,” He sobbed, kneeling in front of his grave, the rock that settled in his chest getting heavier and heavier with each passing second, “He was alone…You were alone…I’m sorry, Yoosung, I’m sorry. Please come back. I’m so fucking sorry.”

For weeks the RFA chatroom was quiet. Nobody wanted to disturb the logs, the only thing Yoosung’s death hadn’t reached. In those logs, he was still alive and smiling.

The first few days after his death, everyone was pointlessly hoping to see the familiar Yoosung has entered the chatroom, but it never came. It would never come again.

His emojis and texting style were now abandoned, but Seven refused to get rid of them. He refused to remove his old account from the app.

“He’s still part of the RFA,” He insisted with a shaky voice as he took a break in between sobs, “He’ll always be a part of the RFA, I can’t remove him, I can’t…He needs to be able to log in when he comes back.”

Jaehee held back tears as she saw her friend start to fall apart, “Luciel…He’s not-He’s not coming back.”

“He is! I know he he. He wouldn’t leave us-” His words were swallowed by a violent sob erupting from his throat, “He wouldn’t leave us without saying goodbye.”

There was no note, no nothing.

The last thing Yoosung had ever said in the chatroom was a, “I’ll be going now!”, and they couldn’t help but wonder…was this it? Had he already decided do leave this world when typed those words?

Yoosung hadn’t even said goodbye to his friend in LOLOL. He just logged out one day without a word and never came back, leaving his friends to wonder what happened to Superman Yoosung.

They would never know that he was found dead in his bathtub mere hours later.

And perhaps it was better that they didn’t know. They could forever remember him as the happy-go-lucky Yoosung, always positive and supportive of everyone.

And that happy-go-lucky boy would never smile again. He’d never share his jokes and thoughts with anyone, he’d never get to experience the joys that came with the inevitable hardships of adulthood. He would never have his first kiss or a first love, and Yoosung would never get married. He never got to travel the world and see new things like he wanted to.

His life was cut too short, his sadness burying him so deep, nobody could reach him anymore.

What pained his loved one the most was just that fact. If only he held on a little longer, if only they paid more attention to him, if only they hadn’t said certain things…He could have had it all. He could have made it through those tough times and reached the good ones, the happy times.

If, if, if…

Their most despised word. The word that haunted and drove them to the brink of madness with those endless thoughts of unexplored possibilities of an alternate universe.

But the truth still remained the same;

Yoosung was gone. There were no if’s about it.

***Hey guys so another lil author’s note here. This was by far the heaviest thing I’ve ever written, it hit so close to home. And I hate the thought that there are probably some of you who feel the same way or have these same thoughts and I would be beyond heartbroken if you guys don’t get the help of support you need!

So I’ll link some hotlines here that I found to be really helpful if you ever need to talk to someone or seek help. I know this is super cliché, but you are definitely not alone, and there are so many people who love you and would miss you if you were gone.

And it does get better. It really does, so even if you feel like the world is crushing you now, please just hang on a little longer. I promise it will get better.

Depression Hotline: 1-630-482-9696

Suicide Hotline: 1-800-784-8433

Masterlist of other possible helplines you may need

Stay safe and smiling!!

[slythergirlimagines]

Because I Love You Part 5

Summary: The reader is kidnapped and tortured by Ben. Sawyer comes to her rescue, causing a certain doctor to be jealous.

Jack Shephard x Reader  

Sawyer Ford x Reader

Requested: Yes! Hope this fulfills your hopes for this story!

Warnings: surgery, gore, grief, gunshot wound, cussing, not following much of a timeline at this point. Please don’t read if reading about (a bad attempt at writing) surgery, wounds, potentially fatal wounds or anything similar makes you queasy. Also there is mentions of blood.

   Ps: this gif doesn’t really have anything to do with the story but I’m including it bc it’s sort of relevant

Because I Love You Part 5

           You were lost. Your mind had shut down, unable to process what Kate was telling you. You stood when Jack stood, following him and Kate to the medical tent, where a few of the guys had carried Sawyer. You heard Jack asking questions about what happened and about the injury, but you couldn’t focus on that.

           Sawyer had been shot. Sawyer could be dying. Probably was dying if the tears streaming down Kate’s face meant anything at all. The last interaction you two may ever have was you slapping him. And worse than that you had caused him to hurt. He had suffered because of you, because you were a blind idiot. He has said some inexcusable things, but you had started it? Hadn’t you enjoyed his attention knowing full well that you were using him as a distraction from Jack? God you were such a fucking idiot. You deserved all the bad things in the world, but not Sawyer. He didn’t deserve to die this way.

       Though you all were basically running, it seemed to take forever to get to the tent. Time seemed to slow down, another thing working against him. You hadn’t realized that you were crying until Jack brushed some tears away. He was also talking to you.

       “What?” You said, you had missed every word he had said.

      “Are you going to be ok going in? I could really use your help, but only if you think you’ll be up to it.” His eyes searched your face, and there was something unreadable about his expression. Of course you would help. You would try and save Sawyer’s life if it killed you.

      “I’m fine. Just tell me what to do.” You said. You had never felt so determined to keep someone alive before, but you’d be damned if you failed him now.

        Jack nodded and then ushered you into the tent.

                    ***************

          You weren’t prepared for the sight in front of you. Sawyer was sprawled out on the ground, blood soaking the front of his shirt. He was pale, sweating and shaking. His sandy hair was plastered to his forehead. If you weren’t prepared to see his condition, you definitely weren’t prepared for him to be conscious.

           “Hey, Princess.” He said weakly, a small groan coming accompanied his words. He gritted his teeth against the next shudder that went through his body.

           “Sawyer.” Was all you managed to get out, before you collapsed next to you. You were only half aware of how anguished you sounded. You knew you should care, because Jack was in here. This reaction wasn’t appropriate in front of him, but you couldn’t control it.

         “You’re cryin’, sweetheart.” He said. He tried to raise a hand to your face, but he couldn’t get it there before his muscles gave out. You brushed them away yourself, a little embarrassed that you were crying so much. “I didn’t think you’d ever cry over me this way.” He said, eyes roaming your face.

          “What happened you asshole?” You choked out, your voice was cracking all over the place. He laughed a little, but it got stuck in his throat and a cough took its place. “Jack!” You said, fearing that the end was coming faster and faster. What was taking him so long?

          “Woods. Shot. Others. Happens.” Was all he managed to get out in between coughs.

          “Jack!” You shouted a bit this time, panic soaring.

          “I’m trying to find something to knock him out or at least numb him! He’ll go into shock if I don’t!” He snapped, you were about to tell him to hurry when you felt a hand at your wrist.

          “I’m sorry. I should’ve never.... said those things to you. I... I lied. I never....expected nothin’ sweetheart. I was so mad.... you and doc... but you love him. That ain’t your fault darlin’. We can’t... help who we love.”

        And then he passed out. Time seemed to slow down and speed up at the same time. You were yelling at Jack to come check Sawyer. You held your breath as he tried in vain to find a pulse.

        “It’s there. He’s still alive, but we’ve gotta move fast. Cut his shirt, while I get prepped.” Jack said, throwing you some scissors that you had no idea where he found.

          Your relief of Sawyer still being alive fueled you. You thought about every remark he would’ve made at you cutting his shirt off, and choked back a sob. When you got the shirt off you saw the wound. You thought you were going to vomit. The bullet was lodged right above his heart. There was blood still pouring out of it, and congealing with the other blood smeared all over his chest. How could he survive this.

           “For your hands.” Jack said, passing you a bottle of alcohol. You poured a generous amount, but not too much. The rest you knew would be for Sawyer. You heard Jack curse as he took in the full extent of the wound.

          Then Jack got to work. He told you to grab a wet cloth and start clearing some of the blood away. Once you had cleaned the area, Jack took the rest of the alcohol and poured it on the wound. Sawyer’s body jerked, but he didn’t regain consciousness much to Jack’s apparent  relief.

           “I need you to put pressure on the wound while I extract the bullet. Can you do that for me?” You nodded in affirmation and put your hands on his chest leaning most of your weight on them. Jack took a tool and began approaching the wound. At this point you had to look away, unable to stomach it. After what seemed like forever, Jack announced he’d found it.

           You watched as he pulled the bullet out slowly.

           “Ok we gotta sew him up and...” Jack trailed off, his face going pale. You looked down at what he was looking at, and nearly passed out. Blood was pouring out of him, and he started twitching.

         “He’s going into shock.” Jack said, voice raising in pitch.

           “No. No no no no no. Not like this Sawyer. Not like this. Please!” You were begging and crying. Your hands were shaking so badly on his chest that you wondered if you were causing him to shake. You were so lost in your grief that you barely heard Jack in the background telling someone to get you out of there.

          “No, I’m fine I can help!” You yelled, struggling against whoever was trying to get you out of there.

           “I need someone who’s under control. I can’t be worried about you too.” He said, and then softened his tone at your tears. “You’ll be helping him more this way, y/n.”

             Jack sprung back into action, with Kate replacing you. The shock of everything made you go limp. Someone half carried half drug you out of the tent. The further away from the tent you were pulled, the more your grief took hold. Whoever took you out of the tent sat you down at the water’s edge. They sat next to you for a while, but you paid them no attention.

           You stared at the ocean, watching the tide. In and out. The waves crashed and the moon shone down. You let all thoughts fade away. There was nothing but you and grief. You had no concept of time, you only stared and cried and felt. And you also remembered.

           You remembered cigarettes and rain. Books and his laugh. The color of his hair in the sun. The twist of his lips in a smirk. Th softness in his eyes after you had kissed his cheek. His face as he and Jack fought. His face when he caught you and Jack kissing. You remembered the sound of the smack. And you remembered him dying. Dying in your arms. “You can’t help who you love.” The words looped around and around in your head.

      The sun was starting to rise when you finally came to. The sounds of footsteps roused you from your trance. Someone flopped down beside you. Jack. You turned to him instantly. Your eyes wide, you tried to ask him what happened but you couldn’t form words. You were scared. If he was dead...

       “He’s alive.” Jack said, “He’s going to make it.” He sounded weary and tired, but also immensely relieved. Maybe even happy. Joy flooded you, and you threw your arms around him. A few happy tears leaked from you eyes and you hugged him close. For one moment you felt safe, happy. All was right here in Jack’s arms. Jack was here, Sawyer was going to live. Your life was perfect. And then it wasn’t.

       Jack hugged you tight for a minute, and then let you go. He even went so far as to push himself away. You were dumbfounded. You looked at him, truly looked, for the first time and saw something haunted there. He looked like he was in pain, you were all too familiar with this look. It was the same one Sawyer had worn a few weeks ago. You were about to ask him what was wrong, when he cut you off with a small smile.

        “You can go see him now if you want. He’s still unconscious, but I think it may do you some good to see him. See that he’s alright.” Warmth flooded through you. He was always so caring, always thinking of others. You pulled him down to you and captured his lips in a kiss. He kissed you back briefly, before pulling away all too soon for your liking.

       “I’m gonna go sleep for bit. Please wake me up if his condition changes.” He said. You nodded and tried to catch his wrist as he turned, but he was too fast.

       “Jack!” You called to him. He turned his head over his shoulder, to look at you. “I love you.” You watched as his mouth ticked up at the corner, and his shoulders slumped a bit.

     “I love you, too.” He said, but there was a deep sadness in his tone. Before you could really decipher it, he was gone.

                    ************

       You had been sitting with Sawyer for several hours now. He hadn’t moved at all. You had been relieved to see him looking a million times better than he had last night. At first you had sat in silence, thinking about everything and nothing. Then when the boredom sat in, you had started talking to him. You told him some stories about your childhood, what had brought you to the island. And then you started talking about him.

       “You scared me so much last night. So damn much. I thought you were going die. That I was going to loose you. I know you probably don’t believe it Sawyer, but I don’t know how I could make it without you. I hadn’t realized it before, but you’ve come to mean so much to me.” You said.

Your hand had found his sometime during your little speech, and you gave it a squeeze.

        “Damn I must’ve made it to heaven after all.” Came a small reply next to you, causing you to practically jump out of your skin.

         “Sawyer!” You gasped as you threw your arms around him, crushing him into a hug. You heard him wince at your grip, causing you to pull back. “You’re alive! Oh my god you’re awake!” 

         Your joy was so strong that you barely registered what you were doing as you pressed your mouth to his.

  A/N: I know the ending was a little weird, but I hope it wasn’t too bad! I’m also sorry for any errors in spelling or anything else. I hope you enjoyed it!! 

Tags: @flowercrowns-goodvibes

[killerquccns]

Losers Club ll The Usual Spot

[ Raph just wants to eat his food, Bev gets nudes, Richie and Eddie do some not-so-discrete flirting, and the pub staff wants to kill them all. ]

Raphy Waphy-Yesterday at 7:10 PM

Arriving at the pub, Raph parked his car as quickly as he could and got out. Looking over at Eddie, letting the other get out before locking up and moving for the pub to claim their booth. Smiling at the girl behind the counter, he heard her question about the group. "Yeah. I think its everyone but Georgie and Stanley." He talked moving to their booth.

Eddie Clussghetti-Yesterday at 7:20 PM

Eddie slid into his usual claim of the booth and took a seat. "So how are things with you and Hambu- I mean Hayner." he asked, nervously laughing at his slip up, "Uh sorry, I guess Richies got that name stuck in my head."

Richie Rich-Yesterday at 7:34 PM

Richie arrived with Beverly, struggling to get out of the car and cursing when he accidentally slammed one of his hands into the car door. “Fuck, shit! Fuck me in the ass!” He cried out loudly, causing a nearby mother to gasp and cover her child’s ears. “Oh please, your kid has heard that coming from your room before,” he grumbled and pouted as he held his hand protectively to his chest and hobbled his way into the place. “What we miss?” He asked, groaning as he sat himself beside Eddie in the booth with his boot clad leg sticking out.

Eddie Clussghetti-Yesterday at 7:40 PM

"I called Hayner 'Hamburglar' thanks to you." Eddie snorted, taking the paper off of Richie's straw for him and plopping it into his water, "If I slip up and call him that to his face and get my ass kicked, Im blaming you."

Raphy Waphy-Yesterday at 7:43 PM

Hearing Eddie slip up, Raph frowned deeply before rolling his eyes. "Hayner is fine. Things are going well. He came over last night and we just hung out." Raph pointed out before smiling at Richie. "You having a hard time there buddy?"

Richie Rich-Yesterday at 7:57 PM

Richie smiled in thanks to Eddie and leaned in to take a long sip of his water. "Hah!" he laughed and grinned. "That's because it is his name," he told him as if it was a matter of fact. "If he lays a finger on you I'll jizz on everything he loves," he assured Eddie before looking to Raph. "M'fine," Richie told Raph. "Just starved, can we get some food already? And like a the most sugary soda they have, I need all the energy I can get," he said with a sigh and leaned his head on Eddie's shoulder, needing to slump down in his seat to do so.

Eddie Clussghetti-Yesterday at 8:00 PM

"Youd have to jizz on Raph then, and I dont think he'd appreciate that very much." he rolled his eyes, wrapping an arm around Richie to rub his shoulder, "Where's Bevvy?"

Big Bill-Yesterday at 8:02 PM

Bill walks through the door looking at his friends and drinking an slushie. "I heard the word jizz and came as fast as I could." He joked walking over to Richie giving him a nod.

Raphy Waphy-Yesterday at 8:02 PM

"Please lets  stop talking about jizz and things involving me." Raph commented quickly looking over the menu before noticing the waitress. "Can I get a sweet tea and an order of fried mushrooms and fried pickles?"

Beverly Buttkicker-Yesterday at 8:04 PM

Beverly had mainly been observing the conversation and when the waitress came by she smiled "I'll also have a sweet tea, a double bacon cheeseburger with extra Pickles and fries, if it's not too much trouble?"

Raphy Waphy-Yesterday at 8:05 PM

Raph looked at the menu once more before looking back up at the waitress. "And fried tofu with soy sauce and tots."

Richie Rich-Yesterday at 8:07 PM

"Oh, I plan to," Richie replied and sent Raph a wink and chuckling when the other told him to stop talking. "Bro!" he greeted Bill when he finally joined them. "She's right there," he said to Eddie, nodding over to her. "He'll be having the veggie burger and instead of buns can he just get lettuce?" he asked, looking up at the waitress and nodding to Eddie beside him.(edited)(brb!)

Mikey Spikey-Yesterday at 8:08 PM

Mike got there late because he left later than everyone else, and he quickly moved to the table when he saw the waitress already there. When he noticed everyone ordering he quickly looked up at her and smiled. "I'll have a bacon cheeseburger with no mayo, and fries on the side? Oh and a coke to drink, if that's okay." He said once it was his turn, looking at the others and giving a small wave.

Eddie Clussghetti-Yesterday at 8:08 PM

"I was trying to keep you from getting jizzed on!!" Eddie said defensively. He pointed at his cast covered boyfriend as he talked to the waitress, "Glass bones over here is gunna have a coke and mozzarella sticks."(edited)

Big Bill-Yesterday at 8:09 PM

"I'll have a mushroom burger and some cheese fries." Bill said looking up at the waitress.(edited)

Eddie Clussghetti-Yesterday at 8:10 PM

Eddie pointed to his roommates, "You guys are going to stink up our fucking toilet with all the cheese you guys are eating!!"

Beverly Buttkicker-Yesterday at 8:10 PM

"What's with you guys and mushrooms?" Bev asked and wrinkled her nose in distasted

Richie Rich-Yesterday at 8:10 PM

"Yo, can I get a mushroom burger with bacon and cheese fries as well as my sticks?" he asked suddenly, sitting up higher and looking to Eddie, unsure why he was asking the other first but he had just ordered for him. "you love our stink, Eds."

Raphy Waphy-Yesterday at 8:10 PM

Raph looked up at Mike before shaking his head quickly. "What do you mean fries on the side? They come as the side."

Big Bill-Yesterday at 8:11 PM

"Mushrooms are good. It's a vegetable their good for you." Bill said with a shrug as he drank from his cup.

Richie Rich-Yesterday at 8:11 PM

(( its sad what richie said bc Eddie lost his nose ://))

Beverly Buttkicker-Yesterday at 8:11 PM

"Richie, if you eat those mushrooms and stink up the apartment I am going to be pissed." She leaned towards the window of the booth she was sitting in. It was nice being with everyone.

Eddie Clussghetti-Yesterday at 8:13 PM

"Yeah sure, ill buy." he nodded, having to stop himself from kissing the other's head. Eddie scratched his nose, sighing, "I dont like the smell of Mike and Bill's dumps though.... Bev-- Richie? Im staying the night. No amount of bathroom spray can save our toilet and I am NOT smelling it"

Richie Rich-Yesterday at 8:14 PM

"Hey now, I don't say anything when you stink it up with double cheese burgers," he said then nodded in agreement with Bill. "Exactly! Mushrooms are the bomb!" he insisted. "No problem, you can sleep with me anytime," he winked at Eddie.

Beverly Buttkicker-Yesterday at 8:16 PM

Bev rolled her eyes, "Excuse me ma'am I forgot to ask for some crayons and a coloring mat for my friend, he's still learning to color inside the lines." She pointed at Richie and took a sip of her sweet tea. "Eds,you're more than welcome"

Richie Rich-Yesterday at 8:17 PM

"Kinda hard to color in the lines when you have no hands!" he said, waving his cast hands in her face.

Raphy Waphy-Yesterday at 8:17 PM

"You guys are fighting over burgers and mushrooms and really hurting my head." Raph commented quickly watching his friends before moving to text Hayner.

Beverly Buttkicker-Yesterday at 8:18 PM

"Not my problem babe," she made a kissy face at Richie and laughed. Her phone vibrated twice beside her and Bill and she ignored it. "SO sorry raph."

Eddie Clussghetti-Yesterday at 8:19 PM

Hayner was across town getting into a fist fight, stopping to text his favorite bean back a kissy emoji

Richie Rich-Yesterday at 8:20 PM

Richie rolled his eyes and stuck his tongue out at Bev before looking to Raph. "Pop a pill or something," he told him. "We're college kids, we're supposed to be on drugs all the time," he pointed out and leaned down to bite at his straw before sipping on his water.

Eddie Clussghetti-Yesterday at 8:23 PM

The waitress arrived with their food after some time passed. Eddie cut up Richie's burger and fed him with his fork, "If you guys love mushrooms so much then do shrooms."

Raphy Waphy-Yesterday at 8:23 PM

Raph looked at Richie before reaching over and slapping the boy in the head. "Can you shut up for one minute."

Beverly Buttkicker-Yesterday at 8:23 PM

Beverlys phone vibrated again with a text from Derek asking her how she was, she held the phone close to her and smiled to herself. She replied she was out with friends and was having a good time. The waitress brought their food and after she left she coughed. "So, I have a showcase coming up, would you guys wanna go?"

Richie Rich-Yesterday at 8:25 PM

Richie obediently opened his mouth to take the bite of the burger from Eddie before turning back to his phone to emphasize his words to text Bill back from across the table. "Ow! Watch it, I actually had a concussion!" he whined at Raph. "What kinda showcase?" he asked, looking over at Bev.

Raphy Waphy-Yesterday at 8:26 PM

"Ill give you another if you keep being a little brat. Or ill just invite Hayner here to beat you up." Raph shot back beginning to eat his food as he watched the others.

Big Bill-Yesterday at 8:26 PM

Bill put his chin on Bev's shoulder trying to see who she was texting. "Whatcha doing? All your favorite people are here." He joked before looking back at Richie reaching out his hand for his bestie to take. "I need it to be summer, I miss swimming."

Eddie Clussghetti-Yesterday at 8:26 PM

Eddie looked up from his phone, jabbing Bill and Richie with his fork, "CAN YOU MILLENNIALS TALK FACE TO FACE LIKE NORMAL FUCKING PEOPLE??"

Beverly Buttkicker-Yesterday at 8:27 PM

"Uhm, it's a general art focus, my theme was decay, as morbid as it sounds. I painted for this one," she knew art stuff sometimes bored everyone and she looked down at her plate, "I'm not texting anyone..."

Richie Rich-Yesterday at 8:28 PM

"Wow, threatening to beat up a cripple. You must feel real powerful, Raph," he shot back and put up his cast covered hand to put on top of Bill's and brush the tips of his fingers over Bill's sensually as he winked at him. "OW! STOP HURTING ME! I'M DELICATE!"

Eddie Clussghetti-Yesterday at 8:28 PM

(Derek sent Bev a shirtless snapchat of him at the gym ;)) )

Beverly Buttkicker-Yesterday at 8:28 PM

(((Yesss)))

Eddie Clussghetti-Yesterday at 8:29 PM

(glossy abs and all)

Big Bill-Yesterday at 8:29 PM

"Ow." Bill said pulling his hand away. "Jealous." He muttered to Eddie playfully. "Okay you're not texting anyone." The boy nodded putting his arm around Bev to make himself more comfortable.(gross)

Beverly Buttkicker-Yesterday at 8:30 PM

Beverly'a phone vibrated again as she took a bite of her burger. She swipes open the message and quickly choked. She slammed her phone face first down into her lap and gripped her hand onto Bills thigh as she choked.(I'm dying)

Big Bill-Yesterday at 8:32 PM

Billy was more focused on looking around to notice Bev taking out her phone again. Only when she grabbed his thigh he looked over to quickly. "You were like one inch over from my dick." He said half kidding. "You texting Muppet Man again?"

Eddie Clussghetti-Yesterday at 8:33 PM

Eddie leaned back and crossing his arms in his seat, zipping his lips at the jealousy joke. He went to take a bite of his own food after making sure Richie was fed, but put it down once he noticed the smell of his favorite Kristy's food smelt foreign. "Uhh... I dont think im hungry anymore." he mumbled, sheepishly pushing the plate away.

Raphy Waphy-Yesterday at 8:34 PM

Raph grabbed his food and moved to head to a different table to get away from the others that seemed intent on fighting.

Beverly Buttkicker-Yesterday at 8:34 PM

Bev squeezed his thigh tighter and coughed, trying to get her breath back. She waved her hand quickly, signalling for someone to give her her drink. Once she took a sip she sighed. "I told him I was busy, it's no big deal." She quickly eyed Raph. "Get back here."

Richie Rich-Yesterday at 8:36 PM

Richie happily accepted being fed bites of his burger, but managed to pick up his mozzarella sticks himself between the tips of his fingers. He frowned lightly when he noticed Eddie push away his plate with a look like that. "What's wrong?" he asked the other softly. "Hey, where are you going?! Get back here, Raph!" he called out to him. "We can still talk to you like this, you know!"

* DEREK SENDS BEV SOME SHIRTLESS PICS CAUSE BEIN A FUCK BOI IS A 24/7 JOB *

Big Bill-Yesterday at 8:38 PM

"H-hey." He laughed when she squeezed it tighter. "If you w-want to touch it you could have just asked." Bill joked teasing her as he ate some of his cheese fries. "Oh so it's no big deal?"

Raphy Waphy-Yesterday at 8:39 PM

"I just want to eat my fried food in peace." Raph commented quickly keeping his platters close to his chest as he looked back at the others. "You guys are being loud and making a scene."

Richie Rich-Yesterday at 8:40 PM

"YOU'RE THE ONE MAKING A SCENE, SIT THE FUCK DOWN!" Richie yelled back at the other and tried to point at his seat with his mozzarella stick.

Eddie Clussghetti-Yesterday at 8:40 PM

"Oh uh nothing." he pretended to smile, patting Richie's knee softly, "Just uh..... forgot im on diet haha..." Eddie banged on the table, spilling water over and drawing attention to the table, "We are NOT MAKING A SCENE!!!"

Big Bill-Yesterday at 8:40 PM

"We're not making a scene no one is looking at us come on. Sit back over here." He said maybe being too loud.

Raphy Waphy-Yesterday at 8:41 PM

Raph groaned, moving to sit back down with them. "Fine fine... but the next time you apes make a scene, im out of here."

Richie Rich-Yesterday at 8:42 PM

"Little higher there, Eds," he teased then leaned over the table to sip at his coke, trying to get the straw with his tongue. "You sure? You didn't eat much," he said to him. "Knew you'd see the light," he said to Raph with a smug smile. "We're not the one standing up with like four fucking plates and yelling demands."

Beverly Buttkicker-Yesterday at 8:42 PM

Beverly looked at Bill and smirked. "I was choking, what were you imagining?" She eyed her phone on her lap, the picture almost called out to her. "Eddie if I text you a picture will you not freak?" She asked and smiled when Raph sat back down. "Only quiet from now on"

Raphy Waphy-Yesterday at 8:44 PM

"Look, im not in the best place and I only wanted to eat fried foods and chill and you monsters are being annoying." Raph pointed out picking up a fry and tossing it in Richies face.

Eddie Clussghetti-Yesterday at 8:45 PM

Eddie chuckled, leaning over to mumble, "Later" into Richie's ear. The short loser nodded, picking up his phone as he took a sip of his lemon water. However, he spit it back out once he slide his phone open to see the picture Bev had sent. Eyes wide, he looked back at his ginger friend, "I know I said I wouldnt freak but.., Holy fuck..."

Beverly Buttkicker-Yesterday at 8:47 PM

"I don't know how to react Eddie," she groaned and took a big bite of her burger.   Honestly, she had never been sent such a racy photo before and it wasn't even that racy! "I'm outta my depth."

Richie Rich-Yesterday at 8:47 PM

Richie tried to catch the fry in his mouth and pouted when it just hit his shirt and fell to his lap. "Yeah, throw food at the freak because he's crippled, I get it," he said to Raph. "We're only loving you," he told him. He grinned widely at the whispered words and stayed smug for the rest of the night. "What are you looking at?" he asked, trying to get a look at his phone. "Ew, I'm eating here! That's disgusting!"

Beverly Buttkicker-Yesterday at 8:47 PM

(( she's like his 8 pack has a 6 pack ))

Raphy Waphy-Yesterday at 8:49 PM

"I figured you would catch it. You are good at getting things in your mouth." Raph shot back with a smirk as the waitress came to see if they needed anything.

Richie Rich-Yesterday at 8:50 PM

"Hell yeah, I am!" Richie replied and winked at Raph. "Always got Eddie's mom's nips in it," he informed the table. "And when I'm a real good boy, she lets me go down on her too, the best dessert for a growing boy."

Eddie Clussghetti-Yesterday at 8:50 PM

"Send him a selfie back." he whispered, leaning across the table even though the others could definitely hear, "Like, dont get naked or anything, but just be cute! Ask him what he's doing later!!" Eddie rolled his eyes at Richie, gently knocking shoulders with him, "Beep beep, Richie. You've said grosser things at dinner that are wayyy worse than a shirtless picture of a hot ginger athlete."

Big Bill-Yesterday at 8:51 PM

"I don't know but you put your hand really up my thigh." He said leaning into her and for a bit giving a small smile. Before turning back to Raph and slamming his hand against the table. "I thought you loved me, Raph?!" Bill took the phone wanting to know what was so gross and almost throwing up in his mouth. "Gross!"(edited)

Raphy Waphy-Yesterday at 8:51 PM

"I gotta go light myself on fire." Raph stated sharply at Richies comment before moving to look at the others quickly.

Richie Rich-Yesterday at 8:53 PM

"That's disgusting, he's ginger," Richie pointed out and shook his head. "I don't say gross things, I am the most innocent person on earth like ever," he told the other. "Mary ain't got nothing on Virgin Richie," he replied to Eddie. "Ew! stop talking about Bev getting naked! i don't need to hear this while I'm eating!"

Beverly Buttkicker-Yesterday at 8:54 PM

Bev blinked twice at Eddie. However before her friends could react she did as he instructed sending him a selfie.of her with a smirk and  asking him what he was doing later. "You got strong thighs Bill, I was in shock." She rolled her eyes at her friends exclamations. "For one, I'm ginger, Two I am not getting naked!."

Eddie Clussghetti-Yesterday at 8:56 PM

Eddie continued to feed his pain in the ass boyfriend, "If you're a virgin, then I have a vagina."(edited)

Raphy Waphy-Yesterday at 8:56 PM

"Eddie thats inappropriate." Raph commented quickly, looking at his friend.

Beverly Buttkicker-Yesterday at 8:58 PM

(( bev is low-key really into sexting. That's probs TMI ))

Richie Rich-Yesterday at 8:58 PM

"Yeah, and two gingers having sex is fucking gross," he told Beverly and made a disgusted face. Richie chewed on his bite of food, swallowing it and opening his mouth to Eddie. "Damn baby, I knew there was a reason I was into you, you've got your mom's vagina."

Beverly Buttkicker-Yesterday at 9:00 PM

Bev leaned back into Bill and huffed. "I'm not having sex with him.." She murmured.  She knew Richie was joking, but the words still hurt her a bit. Who would he prefer her with?

Eddie Clussghetti-Yesterday at 9:00 PM

"Im sleeping in Bev's room tonight." he said to Richie, putting a mozzarella stick in the other's mouth.

Richie Rich-Yesterday at 9:01 PM

Richie acccepted it and licked at Eddie's fingers. "Then who am I gonna cuddle if not my Eddie-bear?" he asked, pouting at the other then looking to Bill. "Will you sleep with me tonight, babe?"

Big Bill-Yesterday at 9:02 PM

"Thanks I workout." He responded smirking back. "No you shouldn't send stuff like that to him." Bily shook his head because lowkey he wanted to be with Bev. "Good because you could do waaaay better." He said pulling her closer playfully before looking over at Richie and nodding. "Babe, you know I'd be honored."

Eddie Clussghetti-Yesterday at 9:05 PM

Eddie pulled back his fingers, rubbing them on his pants and flailing, "Gross, Che!!!" Realizing he forgot he hand sanitizer in his other fannypack, he stood up from his seat and huffed, "Im going to the bathroom to wash your slobber off my hands. Someone eat my burger while im gone."

Richie Rich-Yesterday at 9:07 PM

"Babe," Richie cooed back to Bill. "You don't mind when my tongue is in other places," Richie replied and winked at him and chuckled as he watched the other go. He frowned when he mentioned for them to eat his burger. He glanced down at it and noticed how the other had barely even touched it. "Is it just me, or is something up with Eds?" he asked the other.

Beverly Buttkicker-Yesterday at 9:07 PM

Beverly felt comfortable here, like this. The losers were home and she wouldn't wanna be anywhere else. Her Phone vibrated again and she tossed the device in her jacket pocket. "You noticed Eddie too?" She looked at Eddie's plate. "It's his favorite."

Richie Rich-Yesterday at 9:08 PM

"Of course I noticed Eddie," Richie replied with a roll of his eyes before covering it up. "I notice everyone," he added on. "He barely ate it but he's done? Is something up?"

Raphy Waphy-Yesterday at 9:09 PM

"Maybe he just isnt hungry. If he doesnt want to tell us then we need to respect his privacy." Raph pointed out before letting out a small shrug. "Maybe just bag up his food for later."

Richie Rich-Yesterday at 9:11 PM

"There's no privacy between all of us," Richie replied with a scoff. "There's something else. He was excited about his food then didn't eat..." he mentioned then shook his head. "Yeah, I guess. maybe he'll eat it back at the apartment. "

Eddie Clussghetti-Yesterday at 9:12 PM

Eddie returned to the table, hands freshly washed and fingers scrubbed of Richie's DNA. He stood at the foot of the booth, noticing a weird vibe from his squad. "Uh... someone die?" he laughed nervously, tugging at his collar.

Richie Rich-Yesterday at 9:13 PM

"Yeah, my dick. Can I bury it in your ass?" Richie replied then waved to his lap and winked up at the other.

3

Eddie Clussghetti-Yesterday at 9:15 PM

Eddie hid his smile behind a scoff, "No thanks, just cremate it."

Beverly Buttkicker-Yesterday at 9:15 PM

"As much as I love all of you, I have a showcase to get ready for and I need to know if you guys are coming. Eddie will you drive Richie home?" Bev asked slowly pulling herself off Bill and pulling out a 20 from her purse hoping a 10 dollar tip would be enough. "Tell her to keep the change."

Big Bill-Yesterday at 9:17 PM

"Of course we're coming, when is the showcase again?" He asked as he watched her get up from her spot.

Richie Rich-Yesterday at 9:18 PM

"Ouch, that was rough, babe," Richie replied and pouted at him. "where are you going?" he asked, looking up at Bev. "Oh-kay..." he then nodded. "No, yeah, of course I'll be there. They serve food there too, right? I'd never miss it."

Beverly Buttkicker-Yesterday at 9:20 PM

"It's on the 28th, there should be finger foods, I have to dress really nice." Bev replied and beamed. She pressed a kiss to Raphs head and smiled. "I'll see you Thursday night okay?"

Eddie Clussghetti-Yesterday at 9:21 PM

"I wouldnt miss it for all the disinfectant wipes in the world, Bev." he smiled, rejoining the table and leaning his head near the crock of Richie's neck, "I didnt drive here so I guess Richies just going to have to walk the streets alone and unsupervised."

Richie Rich-Yesterday at 9:22 PM

"Wow, okay, I see how it is," Richie replied and pouteded even as he leaned his head on Eddie's where it rested on him. "Guess I'll just have to sell my body for a ride home, that's fine."

Eddie Clussghetti-Yesterday at 9:24 PM

Eddie snorted at his boyfriend's dramatics, "Calm down, Hamlet, I'll call us an Uber and we can go back to the Andrews-Sutton residence."

Richie Rich-Yesterday at 9:25 PM

"You make it sound like I'm married to Bev," Richie replied with his nose wrinkled at the thought of being with his best friend that he only held platonic feelings for.

Big Bill-Yesterday at 9:26 PM

"Richie's going to spend the night at my house. I can give him a ride." Billy said finishing his food and getting up from the table. "Do we have to dress fancy too?" He asked Bev(edited)

Beverly Buttkicker-Yesterday at 9:28 PM

"I would prefer if you did, it's not black tie but not business casual." She replied and pouted at Richie. "You're saying you wouldn't want to be married to me? I'm hurt." Bev teased

Richie Rich-Yesterday at 9:28 PM

"Ooh, yes fight for me," He replied, getting his food packed away by someone else since his hands were outta comission. "Someone throw jello on them," he said and wiggled his brows at the boys. "Nah, you're like a sister, that's like... Incest."

Eddie Clussghetti-Yesterday at 9:30 PM

"Why? You'd rather be Andrews-Clussy?" he flirted, falling silent once he realized he was still around the others. "Uh hahah... as if though right, guys?" Eddie laughed nervously, rubbing the back of his neck. The short boy pointed his fork at Bill again, "No way, Bill. Richie is not going anywhere near the toxic toilet youre going to stink up. We're going to Richie's place."

Richie Rich-Yesterday at 9:32 PM

"You know it, babe," Richie replied with a wink and chuckled when the other backtracked. "I've always wanted to marry your mom," he told him. "Yeah, I love you, babe. I just don't want to smell your shit."

Big Bill-Yesterday at 9:36 PM

"Oh great I'm going to have to go shopping." Billy shook his head as looked back at Eddie and his bfff Richie. "My toilet it not that bad you assholes." He laughed.

[yellowledbetterman]

tagged by @mrrightandmrbubble

THE LAST:

Drink: ice water

Phone call: my mom called from the beach

Text message: “He’s showering lol”

Song you listened to: Long Nights by Eddie Vedder

Time you cried: I couldnt tell you, probably about 2 years or so ago

HAVE YOU:

Dated someone twice: never dated someone once

Kissed someone and regretted it: never kissed anyone

Been cheated on: lol no

Lost someone special: of course

Been depressed: always

Gotten drunk and thrown up: nop


LIST 3 FAVORITE COLORS: gray, purple, dark olive green 


IN THE LAST YEAR HAVE YOU:

Made new friends: hm i guess so, i’ve made a few acquaintances from school

Fallen out of love: not that i know of, idk if i’ve ever fallen INTO it

Laughed until you cried: of course

Found out someone was talking about you: idk what the context of this is lol 

Met someone who changed you: my best friend taught me that its fine to not be perfect and its okay to not hold yourself to the highest standards and expectations all the fucking time 

Found out who your friends are: i guess?? 

Kissed someone on your Facebook list: i honestly dont even know who’s on my Facebook “list”


GENERAL:

How many of your Facebook friends do you know in real life: most

Do you have any pets: my puppy (he’s 14)

Do you want to change your name: i dont really care that much honestly

What did you do for your last birthday: i was super duper sick and everyone i know was at prom so i watched the Great British Baking Show and ogled Paul Hollywood and used like 8 boxes of tissues.

What time did you wake up: today? 11:30, i dont sleep at night

What were you doing at midnight last night: eating pizza bc I missed dinner, and talking to my pals on Houseparty

Name something you can’t wait for: the Black Panther movie

When was the last time you saw your mom: Friday

What is one thing you wish you could change in your life: myself, mainly

What are you listening right now: I Just Wasn’t Made For These Times by The Beach Boys

Have you ever talked to a person named Tom: yeah but i didnt like any of them very much.  Tommys, on the other hand, are angels lol

Most visited Website: ao3 or tumblr prolly

Moles: i have a few, i dont know how to be specific though lol

Mark/s: way way waaaaaaayyyyy too many to count

Childhood dream:  “scientist” (i dont know what that entails, and times have changed)

Haircolour: dark brown

Long or short hair: long, i guess?

Do you have a crush on someone: idk prolly not.

What do you like about yourself: music, humor

Piercings: aint got none

Bloodtype: honestly, I have no idea, and any time I ask my mom she doesnt know either so i t s s t i l l a m y s t e r y 

Nickname: just Meg, but that’s pretty much taken over as my name now

Relationship status: uh single?

Zodiac: Taurus

Pronouns: She/her i guess

Favourite TV Show: Twin Peaks rn, hands down 

Tattoos: nop

Right or left hand: right 

Surgery: the closest I’ve gotten to surgery is stitches, but I’m probably getting my widsom teeth out this summer

Hair dyed in different color: i used to get highlights all the time, and I’ve sprayed my hair with that nasty color spray paint, but that’s it

Sport: played tennis for a year and a half but I sprained/broke my right ankle 4 times withing 2 years, not mentioning the initial fuck-up in 7th grade, so i quit out of fear (and pain)

Vacation: i went to North Carolina 2 summers ago 

Pair of trainers: idk if i’m super stupid, but I dont know what this means

I’m about to: be completely anxiety-ridden and miss sleep, the day beore a doctor’s appointment to address my anxiety/depression 

Waiting for: the “feel better” part of actually addressing problems, and i t s n o t c o m i n g 

Want: summer to stop being hot 

Get married: no

Career: accountant maybe? or maybe a pathologist lol. i like math and dead things

WHICH IS BETTER

Hugs or kisses: prolly hugs

Lips or eyes: l i p s

Shorter or taller: i’m super short myself so idc

Older or younger: older?

Nice arms or nice stomach: idc

Sensitive or loud: i dont understand,,,,

Hook up or relationship: idc

Troublemaker or hesitant: i’m too cautious so a balance would be nice

HAVE YOU EVER:

Kissed a stranger: nope

Drank hard liquor: i dont think so?

Lost glasses/contact lenses: nope

Turned someone down: uh, actually, only recently, but we’re still friends, even though she’s super awkward about it now but tries to brush it off

Sex in the first date: uh idk

Broken someone’s heart: i may have broken the person i turned down...

Had your heart broken: not that i know of?

Been arrested: Nope

Cried when someone died: what the hell kind of bullshit question is this?? of course!

Fallen for a friend: ...y e s

DO YOU BELIEVE IN:

Yourself: no

Miracles: i prefer logic to hope

Love at first sight: i dont know what love is

Santa Claus: nop

Kiss on the first date:  I DONT KNOW I HATE THESE QUESTIONS

Angels: no

OTHER:

Current best friends name: Bethany :-) 

Eyecolour: uh i honestly dont know. last time i looked they were green around the pupil and blue around the outside with brown spots, but honestly i dont know

Favorite movie: The Prestige or Puncture or Ratatouille or THE WINTER SOLDIER or Rear Window

Favorite book: i really liked Catcher in the Rye and Dark Places

Favorite food: uh i dont really like eating, but i like cereal

Favorite drink: w a t e r

thanks i guess? i tag @fuzzyhalo @seven-stories-underground @simon-and-garfunkbot @chriscornhell and @satansved if ya feel like it

[sweetblossoms]

1-69 bay bee, I wanna know stuff

i haven’t dont one of these mass answerings since like 2015 f u c k

1: Could you go the rest of your life without smoking a cigarette?

Probably, yeah. I’ve had cigarettes before, but I’m not addicted to nicotine, so I’d live without having another one

2: Are you single/taken/heartbroken/confused?

Single as hell, and don’t care for romance tbh

3: What if I told you that you were pretty?

I’d say “thanks, I know”

4: Ever been told “it’s not you, it’s me”?

Yeah and it was prefaced with the sentence “You’re too damaged for me” bc life is gr8 to me

5: Are you interested in anyone right now?

Nope, I’m too busy getting my life on track to try and focus on anyone else

6: What are you looking forward to in the next week?

I’m getting a pedicure on Thursday with an old friend and my new Morphe makeup brush set should be arriving on Wednesday so it’s gonna be fuckin lit

7: Do you want to be single?

I mean I am whether I want it or not, so-

8: Did you go out or stay in last night?

Stay in, I had work today and am trying out a new sleeping pill, so I’m trying to regulate my sleeping cycle

9: How late did you stay up last night?

Like 12:30 AM

10: Can you recall the last time you realized you liked someone a lot?

Yeah, it was like a year and a half ago I think and it was a process let me tell you

11: Last three things you had to drink?

Water, coffee, root beer

12: Have you pretended to like someone?

Yeah lmao on the daily

13: Have you ever told somebody you loved them and not actually meant it?

Yeah, but that’s more directed at family, not to any partner I’ve had

14: Honestly, has anyone seen you in your underwear in the past 3 months?

I don’t think so, no

15: Is it hard for you to get over someone?

Nah, it generally takes me like two weeks and I’m over it tbh

16: Think back five months ago, were you single?

Yes most definitely

17: What were you doing at 12:30 this afternoon?

Working

18: Hold hands with anyone this week?

Ew no I don’t think I’ve held hands with anyone since I was like 16, I hate hand holding, it’s so awkward for me

19: Could you go for the rest of your life without drinking alcohol?

Probably not tbh

20: What would you name your future daughter?

Probably some hippie white person shit like Celeste or Marina

21: Do you miss anyone?

Yeah, I’ve been missing my college friends a lot lately

22: Have you kissed three or more people in one night?

Yes lmao

23: Did your last kiss take place in/on a bed?

I think so, yeah

24: Are you good at hiding your feelings?

I’m actually really good at hiding all my emotions besides annoyance tbh, if I’m annoyed, you fucking know it and that’s that

25: Have you ever cried from being so mad?

Yes, I am such an intense angry crier, I instantly tear up any time I’m mad, it’s an awful curse

26: Who did you last see in person?

My brother? I think

27: Are you listening to music right now?

No I’m listening to a podcast

28: What is something you currently want right now?

To replace my old makeup because I’m on a makeup binge rn and want it all, I’ve been obsessed with youtube makeup gurus all week

29: What is the last thing you said out lot?

“Here, take the water bottle”

30: How is your heart lately?

Still pumping blood, so it’s good I’d assume

31: Do you wear the hood on your hoodie?

Only if it’s raining because my hair frizzes up like a shitball when it rains

32: Are you wearing socks?

Ew no, I only wear socks if I have to

33: What do people call you?

Ilene, Lena, Bean, Leenie, Ling. I am a nameless orb for you to project your name fantasies onto.

34: Will you talk to the person you like tonight?

I don’t...like anyone...???

35: Are there any stressful situations in your life?

L M F A O

36: Who did you last share a bed with?

An ex-fling sometime last May

37: Did you do something bad today?

I ordered a burger and stuffed jalapenos for lunch, so I’ve been real bad today ;)

38: When was the last time a member of the opposite sex hugged you?

A couple of weeks ago in a friend way. Actually wait, maybe my brother has hugged me since then, I can’t remember

39: Do you get stressed out easily?

I used to, but since getting older I realized that I don’t really get stressed easily, I just get overwhelmed easily, which are two different emotions that only slightly differ

40: Will you sing today?

I think I did earlier actually, I think I sang Hollaback Girl to my coworker

41: Have you ever wanted to tell someone something but didn’t?

Yeah, I bite my tongue a lot

42: Who do you go to when you need to talk to someone?

I’m not going to lie, I kind of bottle everything up and then vent in long personal posts here on tumblr and then I’m good for the next couple of weeks and then the process continues

43: Have you ever been taken to the emergency room in an ambulance?

No, I’ve ever actually never had to go to the hospital or ER (for myself)

44: What are you listening to right now?

The Valleyfolk Podcast

45: What is wrong with you right now?

I mean, what’s wrong with me all the time is the better question. I have no money to do the things I want in life, I’m fading away from old friends that I don’t to fade from, my depression is coming back, I live with my family instead of on my own like I used to, my job is a shithole and I want to quit on the daily, etc. etc. the list goes on and on

46: What is on your wrists right now?

Nothing?? It’s like 9:30 at night

47: Where did you get the shirt/sweatshirt you’re wearing?

It was a Christmas present tanktop 

48: What do you like better: hot chocolate or hot apple cider?

Hot chocolate because apple cider is best cold and alcoholic

49: Do you make wishes at 11:11?

No because time is an illusion and cannot provide humans wishes. Cute sentiment though.

50: Are you a good artist?

N o p e, I wish

51: Love really is a beautiful thing huh?

Not really, but I guess it’s cool for some people

52: Do you miss the way things were six months ago?

I think I was actually worse six months ago, so no

53: Ever been on a golf cart?

No, I wish tho, I always wished I could drive one of those school golf carts around just for the fuck of it

54: Do you have trust issues?

Oh most definitely, not a question, I trust nobody besides myself

55: Ever stayed up all night on the phone, with who?

Ew no I hate phone conversations

56: Do you own something from Hot Topic?

I...yes, but in my defense it’s a pastel tie-dye tanktop that I bought specifically for Pride because it’s the pansexual colors

57: Do you use chap stick?

Yeah, I use the organic Eos brand

58: Have you ever slapped someone in the face?

Yes but like, as a joke, never for real

59: Do you have a little sister?

Nope

60: Have you ever been to New York?

No, I don’t really want to either? It just seems dirty and crowded and I’m too scared of heights for the skyscrapers and too cold. Love the fashion that comes from that area though

61: Think of the last person who said I love you, do you think they meant it?

Probably, because my friends are the best and we all love and support each other like a true squad should

62: Have you hugged someone within the last week?

I don’t think so, no

63: What were you doing at midnight last night?

I think I was playing Sims 4 and reading fanficiton on my phone

64: Have you ever regretted kissing someone?

Yes, drunk-me is a little shit

65: Is there one person in your life that can always make you smile?

I think maybe my friend Taylor has that covered? He’s pretty good at comic relief when I need it

66: Were your last three kisses from the same person?

I mean, yeah, how do you only kiss someone once? My last kiss was a hook up, so-

67: Have you kissed anyone in the last five days?

No

68: Would you rather sleep with someone else or alone?

Probably alone, I get too hot in my sleep and have specific bedtime qualifications before I can rest and some people cuddle way too much for my liking

69: Will next Friday be a good one?

Nah I have to be awake at 6 am to go to work all day