#I’m just debating whether that’s the right choice and trying to figure out what that would Practically mean

[exopelagic]

I have to email potential supervisor like now and it’s terrifying how are you meant to decide what you want to do

[official-cvntified-gay]

𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐋𝐢𝐞 𝐖𝐞 𝐋𝐢𝐯𝐞 𝐈𝐈 [𝐀𝐥𝐜𝐢𝐧𝐚 𝐃. 𝐱 𝐑𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫]

❀ summary: You’ve fallen hard for Alcina Dimitrescu, the alluring CEO of a rival company—completely unaware of her plan to use you to gather information on your father’s business. What began as manipulation slowly turned into love, but when the truth comes out, will Alcina be able to win you back, or is it already too late?

❥ here's part 2, not proofread as always and idunno about this one but enjoy darlings<3 bye<3

❥ part one

In the weeks following your discovery of Alcina's betrayal, it felt like you were drowning in a sea of conflicting emotions. Anger, heartbreak, and confusion fought for dominance, while you buried yourself in work to keep from thinking about her. Yet no matter how hard you tried, memories of her touch, her voice, and her regretful expression from that night haunted you.

You did everything to avoid her, even going so far as to skip any social functions or venues she might frequent. But that didn’t stop her from trying to contact you. At first, it was the flowers—extravagant bouquets delivered to your home. Each came with a handwritten note from Alcina, her usually elegant script slightly smudged, as if written in haste or distress.

“I’m sorry. Please let me explain.”

“You mean everything to me. Please talk to me.”

“I was wrong. Let me make it right.”

You tossed every note aside without reading more than the first few words, each one feeling like a punch to the gut. As the days went by, her attempts grew more persistent. She sent letters, each one more heartfelt than the last, pleading for a chance to talk, to make things right. Yet you couldn’t bring yourself to respond. It hurt too much.

Then came the late-night phone calls. You would let it ring, staring at her name lighting up your screen, debating whether or not to answer. But you never did. Eventually, the calls stopped, leaving only an aching silence behind.

And tonight, at your father’s charity gala, it seemed fate had a cruel sense of timing. You didn’t have a choice but to attend, despite knowing there was a high chance Alcina would be there. The grand ballroom buzzed with chatter, the clinking of glasses blending with soft music. You were surrounded by people, yet you felt utterly alone.

You’d barely stepped into the room when you felt her presence before you even saw her. Across the sea of well-dressed guests, Alcina stood out like a dark flame in her black gown. Her tall, commanding figure drew eyes, but it was her unwavering gaze locked onto you that made your stomach twist.

Despite the distance, her emotions were clear. Longing, regret, desperation. The sight of her stirred something in you, a mix of pain and desire you had tried so hard to bury. But you refused to let her get to you. Not here. Not now.

Throughout the night, you tried to lose yourself in conversations, mingling with people you barely knew or cared about. But Alcina’s gaze followed you, her presence looming even from across the room. Several times, you caught her trying to approach, weaving through the crowd toward you, only to be intercepted by someone who wanted her attention—business partners, acquaintances, socialites. You could see her growing more frustrated with each interruption.

And yet, part of you was relieved every time someone blocked her path. You weren’t ready to face her. Not yet.

But Alcina was nothing if not persistent.

The night wore on, and just as you thought you might escape without confrontation, she managed to close the distance. You were slipping away to the restroom for a moment of quiet when you felt her presence behind you. The door clicked shut softly, and you turned to see her standing there, looking as regal and vulnerable as ever.

“Please,” she whispered, her voice soft, desperate. “Just hear me out.”

Your heart raced, but you didn’t move, didn’t turn to face her. “Alcina, I don’t want to do this.”

But instead of speaking, she closed the distance between you in an instant, wrapping her arms around your waist from behind. Her touch was gentle, almost hesitant, as if she were afraid you’d pull away. You stiffened at first, your breath catching in your throat, but she didn’t let go.

Her head lowered until her lips were near your ear, her breath warm against your skin. “I’m so sorry,” she whispered, her voice trembling. “I know I hurt you. I know I don’t deserve to ask for forgiveness, but I can’t let you go without trying.”

You stared at your reflection, feeling the heat of her body pressed against yours, the way her arms held you so tightly. You’d dreamed of this moment for weeks—of seeing her again, of feeling her close to you. But not like this. Not with so much pain between you.

“You used me, Alcina,” you said quietly, your voice barely above a whisper. “You lied to me.”

“I know,” she breathed, her voice cracking. “I know I did. But what I feel for you now... it’s real. It was never supposed to happen. I was never supposed to fall in love with you, but I did. And I hate myself for hurting you like this.”

Her arms tightened around you as if she feared you might slip away, her cheek resting against your hair. “I’ve never felt this way before, not with anyone. I’ve never let anyone in like I did with you, and I ruined it. I ruined us.”

You felt a lump forming in your throat, tears burning behind your eyes. Part of you wanted to push her away, to tell her that you didn’t care anymore, that it was too late. But the way she held you, the way her voice shook with sincerity—it was hard to ignore.

“I thought I meant something to you,” you whispered, the hurt clear in your voice. “But it was all just a game.”

Alcina shook her head against you, her grip on you unwavering. “It started that way, but it changed. You changed me. Please, believe me. I never wanted to hurt you like this.”

You were silent for a moment, your mind torn between the betrayal and the love that still lingered in your heart. Her arms around you felt safe, familiar, but the weight of what she’d done was still too heavy to ignore.

“I don’t know if I can trust you again,” you admitted, your voice barely audible.

Alcina let out a shaky breath, her lips brushing the top of your head. “I understand. But I’ll spend the rest of my life trying to earn your trust back, if you’ll let me.”

You closed your eyes, feeling the tears slip down your cheeks as you leaned back into her. It was all too much—the anger, the longing, the love you still felt for her despite everything.

“I don’t know what to do,” you whispered, your voice breaking.

Alcina’s arms tightened around you, and for the first time in weeks, you let yourself sink into the feeling of being held by her. “Then just let me hold you,” she whispered back. “For now, that’s all I ask.”

You stood there in the quiet of the bathroom, wrapped in her arms, the weight of the past hanging between you. There was so much still unsaid, so many wounds left to heal. But for now, in this moment, you let her hold you, let her be close again, and for a fleeting second, it felt like maybe—just maybe—things could be okay again.

❥ definitely not obsessed with Alcina begging to take her back- oop who said that?🤨👀

[feroshgirlsims]

Chapter 4.2 - Dating for Weirdos

ALICE

They end up at Annie Joe’s as a result of Alice’s “Develop a Plan in Realtime” tap dance. It’s a leftover habit from her time with Jeffery. He would never say exactly what he wanted, leaving her to deploy a bunch of coy observations, questions that weren’t really questions, and leaps of faith to figure it out.

“Are you planning to go inside, or do you have some kind of telepathy that allows you to place orders from the sidewalk?” Vlad’s delivery is so deadpan Alice has no idea if he’s teasing her. Plus, he won’t even look at her. 

She bites back the urge to explain that no matter how happy her ex was to meet his friends here, he got so pissed when Alice took him that he shook her until her teeth rattled.

Why did she let him do that? Why did she accept it? Even now, when she knows she was being gaslit, her muscle memory keeps her feet stuck to the pavement.

“I’m afraid this place will poison me,” she lies because it's better than admitting her fear.

“The campus cafeteria will poison you,” Vlad admonishes, but he’s smiling. “This place will change your life. The food is delicious. You made an excellent choice.”

Alice looks down at her feet because she knows if he reaches for her hand she’s going to throw up.

Please don’t do it. Please don’t. 

It takes a few seconds to pull herself together, but when she looks up, Vlad is just holding the door open. Relieved, she follows him into the diner. 

They get stuck behind a woman yelling at a server about her bill. A server who clearly doesn’t give a shit, which—

Good for her. That’s who Alice used to be.

When they get their seats and scan the menu, Alice’s stomach is so twisted in knots from mourning her former self that she only orders coffee. Vlad, meanwhile, raises a brow, doubles the coffee, and then proceeds to order enough food to feed an army. 

The coffee arrives. 

The silence stretches. 

Alice has exactly two thoughts in her head:

Why is talking so hard?

And why is she so broken that she can’t even make conversation? 

She doesn’t realize she’s actually voiced those thoughts until Vlad answers.

“Talking is hard because everyone wastes time saying the opposite of what they mean, and thus, every conversation is deciphering whether you should respond to the thing someone has said or the thing they mean and depending on the time of day and the height of the sun in the fucking sky it could be either.” He sips his coffee, “The problem is not you. The problem is that there are no rules, and hell is other sims.”

Alice doesn’t know whether to wince or laugh. She didn’t used to have such dark thoughts. Being around tons of sims made her happy. She loved parties. Now, large groups make her sweat, and she can’t get through a party unless she has access to alcohol.

Lots and lots of alcohol. 

Hell is other sims.

Vlad takes in her expression and sighs. “I’m sorry. That was…” He breaks off. “I’m probably not going to get through this date without saying something off-putting. I can be unsettling despite my best efforts. Or, well, not really my best effort,” he says almost to himself, “More like no effort if I'm being honest.”

Alice’s mouth falls open. It's a stunning thing to admit on a first date. Sure, she has some obvious flaws, but still, she was worth a little bit of work. “D-did I hear you right?” she demands, “You’re not even trying?”

PREV | NEXT

(Part 2 of 4)

Honestly, shout out to @coolpuppy12, who built this amazing lot! I love it so much 😭😭😭

Also, just gonna say some stuff about Alice here:

When I was young (Alice's age), I was in an abusive relationship, and getting out of it was a REAL MINDFUCK. It took time to get back to my old self (or, I guess, learn that you can't really go back, but you can become something new and better). And when I started working on this story, I was debating on how much of this to actually put in.

Ultimately, I decided to just go for it, which has been pretty cathartic to write.

Anyway, I just wanted to flag this because Alice will probably come off as a bunch of contradictions for a while (She's confident! She's not confident! She's horny! Wait, don't touch her!), and that's just coming out of writing my own experience. She's finding her footing and mourning her old self while trying to trust again.

But rest assured, this is a HEA (Happily Ever After), and baby is gonna figure herself out!

I guess it just felt important to me to write someone in the messy middle bc I needed that when I was in the messy middle. And seeing someone make it to the other side? Fucking chef's kiss.

Okay, enough of me oversharing emotional trauma on the internet! In about five minutes (aka the next part), Vlad is going to say something completely outrageous, and this date is gonna get weird and funny, I promise lol.

[4townie]

Road to 4☆TOWN

part 31 | part 32 | part 33 | part 34 | part 35 | part 36 | part 37 | part 38

Warning: Strong language

Robaire read over the half finished lyrics to the song he’d been working on, finding himself completely stumped. His pity party was interrupted by the doorbell. Robaire rushed to the door. “Jan—” He frowned. “Oh. Hey, Aaron.”

“Hey.” Z leaned on the doorframe. “I know it’s been a while since we’ve spoken, but T tells me you’re really into that girl from the hotel.”

“I mean, if you ever picked up a magazine, he wouldn’t have to tell you.” Robaire rolled his eyes. “But yeah. I am. What of it?”

Aaron held up his Polaroid camera. “I’ve got photos to show you.” He stepped inside. “Your girl…she’s got long legs, pineapple hair, wears lots of mini skirts. Amirite?”

“Uh, yeah.” Robaire looked at him in confusion. “How do you remember all that? You only saw her once.”

“I cross referenced with one of those magazines I never pick up.” Aaron raised an eyebrow. “She looked familiar when I saw her. I wasn’t sure at first, but now I am.”

“Sure of what? When did you see her?” Robaire asked.

“Olivia’s staying with us while my parents are in Aruba. She insisted we take her and Tae to the park to feed the ducks.” Aaron handed him the Polaroids. “That’s when I spotted her.”

Robaire shifted through the pictures. He could clearly see Janelle smiling and holding hands with some other guy, but he couldn’t believe his eyes. “She’s still seeing him…?” He felt a pang in his chest. “I thought…I thought he broke her heart. I thought I was the one healing her.”

“Hate to be the bearer of bad news.” Aaron shrugged. “We tried to tell you she was bad for you, man. Everyone could see it but you.”

“That’s not really helping.” Robaire shot him a glare. “I just…” he sighed and plopped onto the couch. “I thought I had a good thing going here. But this whole time I really was just a sucker. I was always her second choice.”

Aaron’s eyes shifted awkwardly. “Isn’t Jesse the one you usually go to with these problems?”

“UGH, what am I supposed to tell Jesse?” Robaire groaned. “I was being such a jerk to him but he was right all along. And my parents…” He faceplanted into a couch pillow. “I don’t know how I’m supposed to face anyone. I just feel like a total fool. How could she play me like this?”

Aaron looked between Robaire and the door, debating whether or not he should just leave him to his feelings. He sighed and sat on the floor beside him. “Listen, I get it. You must’ve been excited to have a life outside of 4☆TOWN. You just wanted us all to be happy and support you.” He shook his head. “I know it sucks a lot, but it’s not your fault.”

“It’s definitely my fault.” Robaire said quietly. “It was spelled out for me so many times but I chose to ignore it.” He stared at the photos. “Last time we spoke, we got into an argument. She told me she couldn’t be with another liar and yet…she’s the one lying to me. And here I was writing her a love song, trying to figure out how to make it up to her and she just—…” He scoffed and tossed the photos aside. “I’m such an idiot.”

“Well, I’m not gonna tell you this isn’t stupid cuz that’d be a lie.” Aaron admitted.

“Wow, thanks.” Robaire rolled his eyes. “I’m pouring my heart out to you and you tell me I’m stupid.”

“You didn’t let me finish.” Aaron narrowed his eyes. “I was going to say that even though you were being dumb, you can’t victim blame. She was manipulative and she played with your feelings and she knew exactly what she was doing. That’s a pretty fucked up thing to do to someone.” He looked over at Robaire, who was busy staring at a picture of Janelle sadly. Aaron sighed and got up. “You can stay here and feel sorry for yourself. And you can forgive her and look past it if you want. But the Robaire I know, the same jackass that stood up to our manager to protect Jesse, wouldn’t let someone like this win a fight. He’s too strong for that.” He shrugged before letting himself out.

Robaire shook his head when he was alone again. “I wish I knew where that guy was right now.”

[scarabsinthestardust]

Better in the Morning // Ch. 4

MASTERLIST

This one's just a short little piece, more like a blurb, I suppose. It's focused more on Sam and his feelings than Jake and Kya.

word count: 1115

CHAPTER WARNINGS: Language, drinking, sad feelings, not wanting to talk about those feelings, and unrequited love (or is it??)

I’ve always been great at reading people. Call it a product of my upbringing, but I tended to be over-observant of my surroundings and the people around me. I had a knack for figuring out when something was happening with those people, what was going on behind the scenes, even if they tried to hide it. I was almost always the first to discover a secret or know when someone was lying. As a child, it was difficult for the adults to keep anything from me.

Jake and his brothers were no exception. Jake never tried to blatantly lie to me, but he liked to think he was good at masking his emotions, specifically those not-so-great feelings he struggled with, but I saw through that in a heartbeat. Josh was civil with me. When we went out together, like tonight, he was always friendly and treated me like one of them. He still didn’t completely trust me, although he would never admit it. I tried not to take it personally, knowing he was just protective over his twin, but it irked me to no end. I found myself wondering, quite often, what I needed to do to prove myself to him, to prove that I wasn’t going to hurt Jake.

Sam was always sweet. He pretty much immediately jumped into that ‘little brother’ role with me, occasionally confiding in me when he needed a friend. He was another that was great at putting on a happy face, hiding away the hurt and sadness from everyone else. And he was another that I could see right through.

Daniel was friendly, if not a little dorky. He had no problem making friends anywhere he went. While Danny took on the ‘mom’ role in the ground, doing his best to keep the Kiszkas out of trouble, he occasionally needed to be watched to make sure he didn’t “bring back any strays,” in the words of Jake. He had such a warm, welcoming nature that people were drawn to him; he was always trying to introduce new people into the group. This also made it particularly easy for him to pick up women.

I don’t think he did it on purpose. No, I know he didn’t. He would never intentionally hurt anyone. Especially not Sam.

Danny sat with a girl’s leg draped over his as she swooned over his every word. She watched him with hooded eyes as she whispered in his ear and dragged her hand across his chest.

“Jesus, get a fucking room,” Jake shot as he sipped his beer. Josh snickered, egging him on. Men are clueless.

No one else seemed to notice that Sam was not okay. He tried to cover it up, to distract himself by contributing to other conversations, but something was bothering him. He rolled his eyes and swallowed down the rest of his beer. “I’m gonna go.” They gave him questioning looks as he stood to leave. “Just tired,” he shrugged. I’m not sure how that fooled anyone but as I mentioned, men are clueless.

With the guys back to their conversation and drinks, I stood and patted Jake’s shoulder. “Be right back, gotta pee.” He acknowledged me but was so occupied by whatever heated debate he was having with Josh, giving me ample opportunity to sneak out the door and follow Sam. I called out to him as he trudged through the parking lot. He turned to me, rubbing his eyes, trying to conceal the tears that were starting to spill.

“Fuckin’ allergies, man.”

“You don’t have to bullshit me, Sam. You don’t need to pretend.” I wanted to give him an opportunity to open up to me on his own, but I knew I wasn’t going to give him an actual choice. He needed to talk about this, whether he wanted to or not, before everything he bottled up came to a head and exploded.

“What? I’m good. It’s just been a long day.” He sniffled.

I prayed that he wouldn’t be angry with me for calling him out. “How long have you been in love with Danny?”

His eyes widened in shock, and he glanced around in a panic, I assume to ensure no one overheard me. We were alone in the dark parking lot, though. “Wh- I don’t- fuck.” He leaned against his car and hung his head in defeat. Hugging himself and gluing his eyes to the ground, he said softly, “How did you know? Is it that obvious?”

From the day I met them, it was hard not to notice. Sam looked at Daniel like he had hung the moon and painted the stars in the night sky. He watched him like he was the most important person in the world, the most precious. When Daniel talked, laughed, or sang, it was as if nothing else in the entire universe mattered to Sam. “He’s not doing this to hurt you.”

“I just feel so stupid. I don’t have any right to be upset. He’s not mine.” I almost didn’t hear the last part with how quietly he spoke.

“Doesn’t make what you’re feeling any less real. You’re allowed to have these feelings, Sam.”

“What am I supposed to do? I can’t have him, I know that. It could ruin everything. I can’t lose him.”

I’d grown to love Sam like he was my own brother, and it broke my heart to see him struggling with this. But I also worried that he was probably right. Danny was his best friend, and Sam didn’t want to jeopardize that. He especially couldn’t risk jeopardizing the band and everything they had worked so hard for. “He cares about you; I know that much. I don’t think you’re ever going to lose him.”

My phone buzzed in my pocket.

Jake – 9:42 PM

You okay in there?

“I should head back in before they get suspicious.” He eyed me worriedly. “I won’t say anything. Your secret’s safe. But I think you should talk to someone. Don’t let this swallow you up.”

He muttered a quiet thanks before we parted ways. As I returned to the table, Jake shot me a questioning look.

“Sorry. Just needed to step out for some air.”

With the way Jake looked at me, I knew he didn’t really believe me, but he didn’t push the issue. I’d figure out some lame excuse later. I didn’t want to lie to him, but I gave Sam my word, and I’d be damned if I didn’t keep my promise to him. Besides, it wasn’t my secret to tell.

My phone buzzed with another message.

Sam – 10:01 PM

Thanks for being a good friend. Jake’s lucky to have you.

[perhaps-in-anotherdream]

Hi:) I made a post with the same questions I'm about to put in here, but then deleted it since I thought I'll be guaranteed to get an answer if I just ask you.

I've been playing MLQC since its launch. To be honest, haven't kept up with the story in years and only continue playing and logging in to get Shaw's cards, but I do know how the game works like the back of my hand.

A few days ago I saw Sylus for the first time on X, and the minute I did I began to debate whether or not I should install Love and Deepspace. Just so I can see what he's like. He's very attractive, and he seems charismatic and mysterious too lol

However, before I decide to download and make a potential commitment, I want to know a few things first. 99% of my questions are general questions, while the other 1% isn't :P

What's the game like? (gameplay, mechanics, options, daily tasks(?), currencies, gacha, etc.)

Are there similarities to MLQC? (gameplay-wise, content, dailies, wish tree, events, etc.)

The cards come with stories, right? I honestly feel stupid asking this, but I'm just that clueless about the game and how it works lolol

Is the game F2P-friendly? (tolerable grinding, fairness in stocking up on required materials, cost of cards, etc.) Is it at least similar to MLQC in terms of abundance in materials and currency?

Do limited cards get re-runs? Or is it that once a card is launched and its event ends, the chance to get it is forever gone?

Can cards only be pulled, or can they also be run in MLQC-style shoot/birthday events and bought using in-game currency (i.e. like the gems in MLQC)?

There's probably a grade to the cards, correct? (SR, SSR, UR, etc.)

I saw on the store that Sylus's 'Wish' event is ongoing at the moment; will his card be added permanently after the event ends, or is this a one-time thing (like the time ltd. Wish Tree events in MLQC)?

Taking into consideration the fact that I'll be a noob with barely any resources, if at all: do I have a chance of getting Sylus's card before the event end if I begin playing soon?

Sorry for all the questions, and thank you for your response in advance :D

hello! firstly i’m sorry but my answers will only have necessary info b/c i’m not in the physical or mental state to go at lengths rn.

(1) it's an otome with action elements i.e. different styles of combats. there's also main story, dates, socmed, mini games, photo booth etc.

(2) idk whether to laugh or cry here tbh. in all fairness, PG really just took every feature of lovepro/ MLQC and upgraded them in LaDS (the combats aside LOL). although personally i don’t have anything positive to say on their writing quality, so you’ll have to figure out your feelings on that yourself ahah.

the dailies are quick once you've been there long enough as it is with most games. the wish tree has pity carry over system. they have two types of gacha pools: permanent and limited. and the two pools have different ticket currencies. there is no exchange system for event cards like MLQC.

leveling up the cards is an extremely tricky business here by the way. it's gonna become an essay if i try to explain, but know that you can never have enough stamina here LOL.

(3) yes. the 5 and 4 stars.

(4) nope lmfao. even if you tunnel vision one bias, it'd be difficult have all his cards without spending. they do have free 5 and 4 star card events though and those give rewards + the limited events often offer some rewards (in-game), but still it'd be hard if you have crappy gacha luck plus their stupid 50/50 choice in the pool almost never works lol and since the game is a simulpub, you won't have the advantage you have with MLQC to plan out your spending.

a friend of mine has done an overview, so please go through that to get an idea: ♡

(5) give it some time 😂 the game is only six months old. eventually all limited cards are re-run in these sort of games.

(6) no, there's no currency only card like MLQC in the game (at least not as of now). all cards are to be obtained through gacha (free ones aside).

(7) yes.

(8) QinChe/ Sylus has multiple events going on at the moment. there's a limited pool that ends on august 1 and you won't be able to get that one after the event until further notice. and the permanent pool also has a limited mechanism right now that will end after the event. but every other card except for event limited card will be added to the permanent pool afterwards.

(9) the permanent cards can be obtained later too (though definitely will be way harder b/c the limited mechanism for the permanent pool will gone then). as for the limited banner, it depends on your luck 😂 70x is the pity for 5-stars. i can't remember if there was any newbie pity, but since there's no guarantee or exchange, it might prove hard to obtain the card without spending if you have bad gacha luck. :/

hope these answer your questions~

—

[docholligay]

Ep 7: Nat

Hello! This is about up to Episode 7 of Yellowjackets, and ONLY episode 7 of Yellowjackets. I have not seen beyond the seventh episode, at all, and know NOTHING about this show. Please do not spoil it for me.  Things that are spoilery in nature, for me, include: saying things like  “Just wait!!” confirming or denying anything I put forward, outside information about the cast interviews or creator statements, leading questions like “Do you think “blank moment” means anything?” etc. Remember  that Y’ALL HAVE SEEN THE SHOW AND I HAVE NOT. This informs the way you  talk about things relating to the show. Just be really careful is all  I’m asking. Also: If there is LITERALLY any stance I  could take on this show or character that would make you upset, please  just fucking block the tag

If you WOULD like to discuss the show and my takes on it, the Discord is right here! I don’t go there, so it’s a great place to get every emotion out.

Please thank @sailorsunspot and @moonlight-frittata for backing this odd way of doing a liveblog, and remember my tip jar is always open

Oh Nat, what the fuck can I say about you that I haven’t said a thousand times before? Actually, i will say that I love that they are really giving Nat a bit of a heel turn here, because I was so prepared to be like, “Ah yes, the disconnected,cynical alternative girl is the only real one. Groundbreaking.” and I think the show has taken pains to show that, no, Nat doesn’t know jack shit, and she is a codependent asshole who seems to care only about Travis and refuses to let herself stop being hung up on that. But no, even her involvement with the blackmail, trying to shoot a man, suggesting that she is going to be able to figure out who did this and save it all, it’s all about Travis, it’s always about Travis, and as long as nat is fixed to that spot, it doesn’t actually matter what she learns because it will never ever be enough. She cannot let herself see other worlds. 

It’s a great and fun development for me when we show Travis about to go with the other girls, out of a sense of chivalry or whatever, and Nat straight up asks him not to go. Now we can debate all day long and off into the night whether or not it would actually be helpful for Travis to go or stay, but none of that has anything to do with Nat’s calculation here. It has everything to do with the fact that she’s selfish, that she wants him, that she is pinning so much to the two of them. She’s like an extreme opposite of Taissa’s lack of emotional engagement with Van. Travis is the only part of her future she can see, and it’s equal parts compelling and pathetic.I suppose I will grudgingly admit that I like where she tries to generically sexy-talk, and Travis rejects it. He wants Nat to be Nat, even when they’re fucking. 

 I wasn’t sure where I wanted to put this, such things that straddle the girls are always difficult to handle, but when Tai talks about how they got home lives, and Nat got nothing, I want to point out that this was always Nat’s choice. I have my own feelings about Tai and Shauna’s marriages and children and why the exist, maybe for another time, but Nat literally just…opted out of all of that in order to bum around with Travis and get drunk and do drugs togerher, and even after he disappeared on her, perhaps sending a bit of a signal, she kept pursuing the same path. Nat is to blame for at least 75% of Nat’s problems. Ma’am you are in your 40s. 

I don’t disagree with Nat, really, when she says they are just as fucked up as she is, but where I do disagree with her is where she says they’re lying to themselves. I don’t think that being able to figure out how to behave in public and keep from setting yourself on fire for at least 20 years is lying. I think it’s choosing to move on despite it all. Nat is very much not doing that. And, don’t mistake me, I think Shauna does a pretty bad job of it, and Taissa certainly has the wolf coming to get her, but I think both of them have TRIED more than Nat, who it feels like very much decided the nightmare she was gong to live in and then made that her reality. But this is part of convincing herself that she’s ‘real’ while the others are not. That she alone has a clear eye. 

Even the momentary realization that Kevyn is nice to her, and that Kevyn is stable, and that maybe, with him, she could have some semblance a normal, together, reasonable life, does less than nothing for her. He is a means to an end: she found our about Travis, she got to use his gun, it wouldn’t matter how much she got away with, with him, she would always try take more because she doesn’t know how to be happy and she doesn’t trust it. She has be outrightly cruel to Kevyn because she has to fucking convince herself that this is somehow still all her idea, that her isolation is a function of desire, and not a function of something irrevocably broken in her, that she has never made a real effort to fix. 

I’m wondering if it was Natalie who came up with the whole pit idea, as Tai suggests they wouldn’t be here without her, and Shauna even directly references being dragged into her “pit” of guilt. Could this be part of why Nat is so fucked up, is she knows she was directly responsible for murder? Does she ever wish it was her?

[songsofelisa]

Unexplainable Episode 086 Internet’s Most Mysterious Song → mysterious legends

Warning: There are none! No gruesome or scary stories, just a fun one!

In the technological age we live in, any sort of knowledge exists right at our fingertips. Whether you need to figure out if you’ve seen that actor in another movie before, because you swear they look familiar, or you’re caught in a heated debate about which city has been destroyed the most in media (the answer is New York City, by the way), it only takes a quick search on the internet to figure it out. There are apps that even identify obscure music and songs by listening and immediately bringing up the title and artist.

However, what if there was a piece of media so obscure that no amount of searching and banding together could possibly identify it? Your apps are useless here and even through the collective power of people on the internet researching and diving into the mystery could not identify it. That is the case, with one such song. A song so mysterious that no one has been able to identify the name or the artists behind it. Today we dive into the mystery of the internet’s most mysterious song. This is Unexplainable.

*cue introductory music*

We set the scene in a dusty, old attic. Luisa Worthem is going through old boxes of her childhood things when she stumbles across a box of old cassette tapes. For those of you who are younger, cassette tapes came about after vinyl records but right before CDs. They had to be rewound, similar to VHS tapes, only sometimes when the ribbon was pulled at, you’d have to use a pencil to set it straight. It was tedious, but the nice thing about cassette tapes was being able to record things right off the radio. See, back in the day, so I’m told, when you wanted to get ahold of your favorite song, there was always the option of sitting by the radio, waiting for it to be played and then hitting the record button as fast as possible to capture it. Sure, sometimes you’d get the interference of an annoying radio host interrupting at the end, but at least you had your favorite song at hand whenever you wanted to listen to it on repeat. As long as you were willing to wait a few seconds in between playing it while the tape rewound, anyway. 

Luisa Worthem had found one such box of these tapes, tapes that had been used to preserve and record such favorites off the radio and creating a unique playlist of what might be the an eclectic mix to some and an crazy man’s ramblings to others. Luisa began to go through them, noting some were her mixes and some were her brother’s. After all, who doesn’t love a trip down memory lane and into the land of nostalgia, right? 

As Luisa listen through, there were plenty of songs she recognized, and others she didn’t. Her brother’s tapes in particular contained a mix of indie rock mixed with alternative music and slow, ethereal sounds. She wasn’t quite as familiar with his choice of music, but he had helpfully labeled many of the songs, providing a list that had the artist and name of the song corresponding with the tapes. 

Except for one song. Luisa noticed that one of the tapes had question marks for both the artist and the song title. She asked her brother about this and he admitted that he had gone back a few years after having made the tapes to retroactively create his list rather than doing it at the time the tapes had been made. That was the one song he was unable to identify. It didn’t help that the quality was lacking and that many of the lyrics sounded garbled and could be hard to make out, thus making it difficult to even try to google the lyrics to identify it. 

That was okay, though, because the thing about the internet is that it connects billions of people around the world, and undoubtedly one of them out there might have the answer. 

It was a passing curiosity, but still Luisa went to the internet to try and identify the song. During her initial search, she posted about it, describing the time of its recording, estimated to be some time in the mid-1980s, as well as any other information that could be gleamed. She provided only a fifteen second sampling of the song. See, Luisa was worried about copyright issues and was hesitant to post the entire song. Fair enough, many video sites and even us podcasters have to be very careful with what we include lest our content be stricken down due to copyright claims. 

However, after a few months, no one had an answer. Luisa herself was only marginally interested in the answer and would soon lose interest in identifying the song. But the fact of the matter was, the internet officially had a hold of this mystery and they were not giving up. 

The problem was, they only had part of the song. Fifteen seconds of it. That was practically nothing! A man who was particularly keen on figuring this one out, reaching out to Luisa in hopes of acquiring a recording of the full song. Luisa, although hesitant, was eventually convinced, posting the full song, allowing the man to download it, before she deleted it. 

The search would continue, Currently the song exists in its entirety out there, feel free to look out for it, and although it currently remains unidentified, I’m still not taking the risk of posting it here lest someone actually come along to claim it and get this episode taken down. 

See, the problem is, the song itself is unassuming. It sounds like a lot of the rock music that was popular in the eighties at the time. If you go through every decade of music, you tend to find that there are trends and with trends, that creates similar sounding songs. After all, who hasn’t heard the opening notes of Under Pressure or Ice Ice Baby and, depending on what kind of person you are, hasn’t been immediately disappointed when you find out the song isn’t what you originally thought it was. This may not be the best example as the songs were released in entirely different decades, but the point stands that music can oftentimes sound the same, especially when being looked back on from a different era. And so, this mysterious song sounded like a lot of music from rock bands back in the eighties. 

But this was recorded off a radio station. This means that there has to be some sort of record of the song and the band out there. This even means that the band and the song have to be known by people! After all, there is such a thing as One Hit Wonders, and even they get remembered year after year. Sure, they only have that one memorable song, but those are the songs people belt out in unison when they’re at a bar. One way or another, this song was featured on a radio station, which means someone out there knows this song. We know this because the full recording does include a radio DJ at the end coming in to move the program along to the next song (remembered when I mentioned that being a problem with recording off the radio?). So, naturally, the next step was to figure out the radio station who aired the song and potentially the host who might have played it in the first place. 

Don’t worry, the internet got on it right away and figured out the radio station and even found the host. Turns out, the song was likely featured as part of of a radio show where the host would encourage up and coming bands to send in tapes with their original music and he would pick out the best ones to feature and air. This likely means that, being with how things are, the band likely never hit it big. They might have tried recording a few songs, sent it in to the radio station, had one of their songs played and then were immediately forgotten about. It’s sad, but it happens. 

Unfortunately, despite this new development, the host no longer works for the radio station nor does he remember the song. He claims there is likely some binder somewhere with a listing that shows the band’s name and the song title, but that he no longer has access to it and who knows where those records would be now and if they were ever digitized or eventually thrown out. Don’t worry, I bet there are internet sleuths out there right now currently trying to track down the records (already having found the digitized ones online to no avail), but currently this line of inquiry is at a standstill. 

This isn’t where the search ends, though. No, instead, audiophiles got to work on trying to identify unique features of the song, mainly they noticed that there was a particular synthesizer used for a brief moment that, according to them indicates a very specific keyboard was used. Apparently, the melody that can be heard is one of the preset options on the Yamaha DX7, which narrows down the time of recording. We already know the song is from the mid-1980s, but in pinpoints exactly when more specifically as this particular synthesizer was not available until 1983. This means, that the song was recorded after 1983 and narrows down that window. I will say, beyond the window of time this song was likely recorded in, not much was learned, though. 

So, where is this search now? Well, as you’re listening to a podcast called Unexplainable, you likely already know that it is still ongoing. Despite the brute force of the internet, the song remains unidentified to this very day. There is a good chance one day, though, we may actually get answers to this particular mystery. No matter how small the band or its following was, there is a good chance someone out there will eventually recognize this song, if not one of the band members themselves. The nice thing is, there is a good chance everyone involved in the making of this song is still alive, and with the slow spreading of this mystery, someone somewhere will likely feel a twinge of familiarity and nostalgia when they hear it identifying it or those involved in its creation once and for all. 

For now, though, this song will remain a mystery and is so far unexplainable. 

Before I go, though, if you’re a music lover who likes to watch talented folk sing and serenade you on the internet with amazing covers then head on over to the YouTube channel YseultSings. No, this isn’t a sponsored plug, this is a genuine recommendation and I hope you all check it out. Who knows, maybe it’ll be one of you music lovers who eventually come together in the comments of her videos to figure out the mystery of the internet’s most mysterious song.

[aching-tummies]

Rating Game?

Debating doing a kink-rating thing. I see it a lot on tumblr and I've been considering getting in on it and trying to do one. Not sure what form I want that to take though. Like, people send me a kink/theme/one-sentence-scenario or whatever and I'll try to rank it?

Also kind of want to do some list-ranking thing at the end, like if there's one thing or another that I'd consistently rank higher or be more in the mood for than other stuff.

Maybe starting it out with a simple 5-bin scale?

Hard Nope | Nope | Indifferent | Low interest | Yup |

Ramble-y explanation and ground-rules under the cut for those that care.

I've avoided doing this kind of thing in the past because even I haven't been sure of my preferences/boundaries. Those are things I've been figuring out since the beginning of this blog, to be honest. This entire blog is basically me archiving my preferences and such and whatever I fancy in regards to tum-stuff. Honestly, every time I remember writing the first posts on here, I'm amazed at what this blog has turned into and what I've learned about my own preferences as I've had more and more fun on this blog. Part of the reason I haven't done one of these rankings up until now was because I was never confident I'd have the right words and the ranking scale terrified me because some people take it too seriously or assume once and always and I didn't want to put my foot down on stuff or whatever or be forced to try and explain myself (because I didn't have words yet for how I feel about some things). Honestly, I still don't know if I have the right words to figure out how I feel on some stuff...but this ask game will give me an opportunity to try...and if I still can't then I guess that'll be a bridge I just am not ready to cross.

All that being said, some ground-rules:

1) This is a fun little game and I will not entertain people that take my rankings as some personal attack. This ranking is based on my own preferences on whether or not I am into the thing--I am not judging people that would rank the thing higher or are super into the thing in question--this ranking game is literally just my own personal preferences and is not being used to judge or attack others that may have different preferences.

2) Preferences may change in time, but when it happens it should be 100% my own choice. A 'Nope' ranking is not meant to mean 'convince me'--it means 'not into this at this point in my life--whether or not that changes in the future is up in the air, but if it does (or does not), that is my right/choice and mine alone and I'd prefer not to be pestered or pressured into liking something someone else likes'.

3) I reserve the right to provide explanation or not to. Some of these may just get a ranked rather than explained...if that happens, odds are that I just couldn't figure out a concise way to phrase whatever my thoughts on the thing in question are. If it’s something I really don’t want to see on my blog even in passing, I reserve the right to simply not post that specific one. I’m not 100% sure on my preferences and comfort-levels on things but if I see something I feel like I’m not ready to address, it won’t be posted until such a time that I feel like I can respond to it properly. 

[euphoricsunflowers]

his favorite color is blue - jeon wonwoo

a/n: based on a prompt i sent @pusoatbuwan that she wrote a little bit about. hope you like it starie !!

word count: 3.1k

content: a bit of angst, mostly fluff, mentions of food, college au, non idol au, not proofread lmao

summary: there’s this guy in your history class who is so attractive, but he’s cold and closed off. guess you gotta fix that.

the first time you spoke to jeon wonwoo did not go as well as you intended.

he’s comfortably sitting by himself near the bookshelves at the college’s library and he looks up from his book at the person tapping his shoulder, not exactly annoyed but he thinks he probably looks it, “can i help you?” he asks.

“yeah, actually, i actually really need help with something,” you say, taking the seat next to him without even asking. it’s not like he owns the place but you are kind of in his space for being in a mostly empty library, “you’re in my history 12 class right?”

“i think so,” he says cautiously, closing his book because he’s assuming he’s not going to be able to get back to it for at least a couple minutes.

“do you know how the professor wants us to write this paper? because i swear i have no idea how he wants us to write a paper on reconstruction when the only sources he’s letting us use are completely unrelated. also, have you even done it yet? because it was assigned like a week ago and i haven’t even opened a google doc yet,” you just seem to go on and on, “plus i don’t even take notes in class because he’s just so boring so i barely know what’s going on.”

wonwoo, while now a bit annoyed, tries to not be rude in his response. he feels it in his bones that you’re going to ask to copy his notes and probably plagiarize his paper too, but he doesn’t do that. not for anyone, “i’m sorry,” no he’s not, “but can you ask someone else?”

he sees you visibly deflate, your voice going from bursting with energy to dead and flat in seconds, “oh, uhm, yeah sure. i was just-” you start, but stop yourself, “nevermind. sorry for bothering you, wonwoo.”

he feels this sinking feeling in his stomach like he just made the wrong move. like all his life he had been making choices like a character in a game, and this moment felt like choosing the wrong one. he almost sees a ‘they will remember that’ over your head, as you get your stuff together enough to get up and find a different seat.

“wait,” he says, almost instinctively. he doesn’t even know why he said it, but now you’re looking at him expectantly and he now he has to say something, “what were you gonna say?”

you pause for a moment, debating on whether or not he was worth answering, before chuckling to yourself, “i just wanted to be friends, maybe complain a bit about my overwhelming classes. sorry for bothering.”

you’re looking at him sharply now, as if you could see through his skull and read his every thought like words on paper. you nailed exactly what he was thinking without you even saying it. i wasn’t trying to use you, i just wanted a friend and he almost felt embarrassed, “oh.” was the only thing he said.

you chuckle again before walking off.

he feels his heart pounding in his chest.

—

the second time, it was him who approached.

he figures that he was, indeed, the asshole last time, so when he walks into the library to find you sitting by yourself, ironically reading just like he was, it’s him that sits next to you.

he has no grand introduction, just sitting at the seat next to you as he pulls out his laptop to type his assignment for another class. you pull out an earbud as you notice him, “hey there?” you say awkwardly.

“it was a stupid paper,” he admits, looking over at you, “the sources were completely unrelated and i honestly wrote a good four pages of nonsense.”

it leaves you stunned, but you take the victory where you see it. and you see it just on the corner of his lip. he’s smiling at you.

it makes you smile too, “i can do you one better,” you say, leaning in closer to add some suspense, “i wrote a good five pages of nonsense.”

you sit in a much more comfortable silence than before, working on your own stuff together for a good 30 minutes. he’s typing away on his laptop while you’re reading a book for a class that is so boring that you spend the whole time thinking about him. the really cute guy from your history class. he’s super quiet and a little bit closed off, but somehow you got him coming to you. you turn to look at him, waiting for him to look back, before you say anything.

“i’ve actually gotta get going. i told nayeon i’d meet her for starbucks after her lecture on the different classifications of bones. you know, as like a treat for sitting through something so painful,” you chuckle at your own words.

“yeah, that’s fine,” he says, going back to looking at his computer, “i’ll see you later.”

“actually-” you start to say, catching his attention again, “could i have your phone number? maybe we could plan to meet up next time.”

he doesn’t know why but his heart is pounding the same way it did when you first walked away from him, but this time you’re still here staring into his soul.

he worries his silence is an answer you’ll take as a no, so he remembers to get out of his head, “sure.”

another win for you.

—

the third time, the fourth time, and the fifth time all kind of blend together. maybe it had something to do with they were all in the span of 72 hours, but every it seemed you would text him that you were in the library and he could come sit with you if he wanted. every day, almost like clockwork, he popped into the library maybe 20 minutes after you messaged him, scanning the building for you and taking a seat beside you once he found you. he would either work on his assignments or read his book, while you would do something similar.

it wasn’t until meeting #6 that anything had really happened. of course your conversations were getting less and less awkward as you settled into a pattern of you talking a lot and him talking a little bit until one of you had to go.

this time, though, you had brought something for him, “here,” you said, already rushing to explain before he even had a chance to ask what and why, “you’ve been telling me you’re tired for 3 days straight, or at least agreeing with me when i say it. you like iced americanos, right? i even got you an extra shot.”

he doesn’t say anything but his nod along with the small smile on his face as he sips the straw says he most definitely does like it. he drinks it slowly, so much so that by the time he’s halfway done all the ice had melted; you had been finished with yours for at least 10 minutes at that point. the caffeine hits him after about 20, though, and the energy is really what he needs. he sits there, sipping his coffee, as you casually talk about your classes and the like, as usual.

“oh and i have to fill out this philosophy study guide with some arguments that socrates made. i don’t even know what’s going on and all i know is that socrates just goes around making annoying men feel dumb and i love that for him,” you say.

normally he’d just chuckle and that would be the end of it, but this time he thinks about it more. he takes philosophy, he had to do the argument study guide, in fact, he did it last night. he doesn’t need to do anything about your problem though. there’s plenty of time until it’s due tonight, and unless you ask for it he won’t even mention he’s done it.

“not to mention that i haven’t even been sleeping well, but i mean, does any college student? do you sleep well?” you ask, nodding your head at him to indicate you were asking him specifically if he sleeps well.

and yet he can’t think about himself for a moment. the second you started speaking he noticed all the things that said you haven’t been sleeping well before you did. your quad shot latte, the bags under your eyes, your slouching posture. you looked exhausted, frankly.

so he doesn’t even answer your question, instead saying, “you should go home and take a nap then.”

you just can’t seem to stop laughing at him, like what he’s saying is the most ridiculous thing you’ve ever heard, “were you even listening to me? or are you just in your own little world?”

he caved when he sees that exasperated smile. looking back on it, this was the moment he realized that it would become his job, his responsibility, to care for you if you couldn’t care for yourself.

he pulls the philosophy study guide out of his backpack, handing it to you, “take a picture of it and just copy it down. i can’t memorize them all for you but call me if you’re confused.” he can tell you’re a bit stunned, but eventually cave and take a picture of it, front and back, and then hand it back to him.

“thank you, wonwoo, i really appreciate it. i owe you one.”

no, you don’t owe him anything.

—

the semester ends faster than he wants it to. he’s enjoying meeting up with you at the library a couple times a week, and even though the coffee was a one time thing on your part, he starts to bring stuff for you too. he starts carrying a charger because you complain that your phone is always dying or an extra sweater because they keep it so cold in there. every time he sees that relief and gratitude on your face he feels a sense of inner pride. he’s grown to really love doing all this for you.

especially because his boundaries with letting people copy his homework have been, in all honestly, eroded when it comes to you. even in your classes he doesn’t take, he’s somehow doing your homework for you, disguising it as him being done with his (he’s not he has literally so much to do) and wanting to be helpful somehow.

he never complains though because now you come to the library more refreshed and energized than before and he’s thriving off of seeing you do well. the complaining about stress turns into passionate rants about hobbies and interests, until he feels like he could ace a test about you.

but the semester ends with you going right back to being a stressed disaster as finals overtake your life. he helps where he can, but he’s also overwhelmed and he barely has enough time in the day to stay afloat in his classes.

—

january is cold. it’s also a sad time for him, the seasonal depression hitting him harder when he realizes the happiness of his last semester is coming to a quick end. he hasn’t gotten a text from you in two weeks and it feels like, now that you’ve gotten what you needed out of him, you’ve left him to drown.

he wonders how he could have been so naive to think that you weren’t going to use him. he thinks back with an outsider perspective to your relationship, one of one-sided conversations and history quiz answers. he wonder if you even knew anything about him.

he knows your favorite color, do you know his?

—

“blue,” you said, when he confronted you about his feelings, about feelings invisible and used. he didn’t even mention the favorite color thing. you just knew, “your favorite color is blue,” his eyes soften, and you continue to list things off about him, like they were on a top 10 fun facts list, “you’re afraid of dogs and you don’t like seafood and you like sad music before you go to bed.”

“i never told you those things, how do you know?”

“you say you’re the only one listening, but i’m clearly the only one looking,” you say, “i bring up how i like the color blue, and your smile gives away how you like it too. i recount my childhood dog and the scar i have from him biting my hand and you got pale. i tell you all about this new sushi place i went to that was incredible, and your face told me you were disgusted. i say how i like listening to love songs while i’m winding down before bed, and you nod your head like you do something similar, plus i’ve seen your spotify.”

his heart is aching as he wants to hold your hands and he wants to stop you from talking because god he can’t bare to listen to you pour your heart out like this.

“wonwoo, you’ve always had my attention, i was never just going to up and leave,” he berates himself for even thinking something so preposterous, “i am always grateful for you, i don’t take for granted how graciously you help me, and i have no intentions to sweet talk you into doing my homework for me while i forget about you. i want you to stop thinking like that.”

he supposes he’s truly an idiot.

—

he can tell you’re still a bit shaken by his confrontation, but you still agree to go out for coffee with him. he’s known your order for months now, but he puts less espresso in it than you used to, hoping that you don’t really notice (you do) in hopes that it helps you sleep better (it does).

you made him promise to believe you when you said you valued him as a friend. friend. besides his buddies he had his whole childhood, he doesn’t make many of those.

he keeps his promise. when he looks at you, he believes you. he sees genuine care and love he doesn’t see from anyone else.

this next semester you only share one class, yet he still finds a way to get you homework answers for anything you ask for. he’ll search the whole internet for answer keys or even just straight up do things himself. he’ll drop off lunch for you on days he knows you don’t have time to go get food.

yeah, basically he’s down bad, and only now realizing it.

—

he finds you asleep next to your computer at 9:33pm one random tuesday at some seating outside the library after you left when it closed for the night. he sees that you were about to click submit for an assignment that was due at 11:59, but must have passed out before you could.

he submits it for you, and then packs your back for you, only waking you up when he’s done. those extra seconds of beauty sleep matter, “hey, sleeping beauty. time to go home.” he says.

you groans, standing up and stretch, before slouching and leaning up against him once he stands up too. he gets flustered when you wrap your arms around him and give him the longest hug of his life. he feels like he’s suffocating but in the best way.

“you need to go home and go to bed,�� he says, getting another groan from you, “do you want to be carried to your car? i’ll drive you home. we’ll figure out what to do with mine in the morning.”

you nod at everything he says, which is just the cutest thing to him. he picks you up piggyback style and carries you the half-mile walk it is from the library to the parking lot. he spots your car immediately.

he’s driving you home, and you’re practically asleep, but still manage to invite him in. it’s not like he can go anywhere. how are you going to leave in the morning if you didn’t have your car? it makes him think he really could have just taken his to drive you home, but in the moment he wasn’t thinking too well and he really just wanted to get you home and safe.

he crashes on your couch, even after incessant pleading on your part to just sleep in your bed with you, it’s not that weird, it’s the least you could do for him. it’s not that it is weird, but he’s shy and will definitely not get any sleep.

—

you get up in the middle of the night to see him up as well. he was restless and you just wanted some water. you end up talking a little bit, low and quiet voices, as you drink your water.

“can i tell you something?” he asks.

“always,” you say. tell me anything and everything about you, “what is it?”

“im really grateful for you,” he says with his heart on his sleeve. he’s not intoxicated in the slightest but the exhaustion may be having a similar effect on his decision making, “you make my life so much better.”

“how so?” you ask. tell me you love me, please.

“i think i didn’t realize what i was missing out on when i was living my ‘never make any friends’ life, but you make my life so much brighter. i feel so happy and content when i’m with you.”

“i am too,” you say, “i can’t help but adore you every time you rush to try and help me with any problem i have.”

he’s blushing so badly, thank god for the lack of light, “and i can’t help but want to be that person that you rely on to help you. i want to be there bringing you coffee and meals and homework answers every day. i want to do that for you for the rest of our lives.”

say it, he says to himself, say it now.

“i am so badly in love with you,” he says.

he searches for a response in just your eyes, refusing to trust your lips when your verbal replay comes. he sees nothing but adoration in your eyes, and, just like he promised to, he makes himself believe it.

you smile at him, except this one is different. it’s less youthful and less from laughter than before. your smile is so warm and inviting that he feels like he could tell you his deepest secrets without question, that’s how comfortable it makes him.

you press your forehead to his as he smiles back. you whisper, “i’m in love with you too.” it feels like a scream with how powerful it is, but it was nothing more than a whisper, “stay with me forever.”

you already know the answer.

[twistedtummies2]

Good & Evil - Misunderstood Villains

Welcome to Good & Evil: A Study of Heroes & Villains. I’m discussing different forms of heroic and villainous characters, different types of protagonists and antagonists, and providing examples of them each from various sources. Last time I talked about Misunderstood Heroes; in typical fashion for this event, I follow that up with their parallel archetype, Misunderstood Villains.

Misunderstood Villains are characters who can work one of two ways: most typically, they are essentially Misunderstood Heroes being seen from the wrong end of the telescope. Instead of being protagonists whom the audience is aware are in the right, but are ironically perceived as evil by the world around them, they are instead the reverse: antagonists whom the audience themselves believe to be villains until they are proven to be better than we realized. Others are a bit different: they are characters whom the audience realizes are not as bad as everyone makes them out to be, but they still prove to be antagonistic forces, usually due to circumstance. The one consistent point in both of these interpretations is that the Misunderstood Villain is at least starts off as an antagonistic character; whether they stay that way the whole way through or not depends on the story.

One of the oldest and most definitive examples of the Misunderstood Villain is Frankenstein’s Monster. More specifically, the version found in the classic Universal Monsters movies, as originally played by Boris Karloff. (The book version of the Monster is rather different.) In these monochrome classics, the Monster is ultimately an innocent, childlike figure. He doesn’t fully understand the world around him, and much of the havoc he wreaks is due to happenstance and, of course, misunderstandings. However, as said actions involve murders, kidnappings, and other such things, and as the Monster is generally an antagonistic force in the films, with his creator and other characters acting as the protagonists, he ultimately fits into the Misunderstood Villain archetype: he isn’t ACTUALLY a villain, but he’s clearly not the hero. (Then again, to be fair, neither is Dr. Frankenstein himself, but that’s another story.) The Monster is a poster child for this kind of character, and it’s telling that there are numerous characters inspired by him that follow a similar vein.

On that note, another great movie monster who also fits this archetype is King Kong. Now, Kong, I would argue, is slightly more villainous (at least in his original format), but not necessarily by his own choice or volition. Through practically every interpretation there has been, Kong is consistently shown to be a monster to the world of humanity: a giant man-eating ape with a violent temperament who causes pandemonium galore wherever he walks. However, he’s not necessarily an evil creature, and over the years, Kong has actually been depicted as an increasingly sympathetic being. The reason is because, very simply, Kong is an animal: we feel sorry for him because we realize much of the destruction that follows him is the result of him reacting to the world around him. You can’t really hate a dog when it bites someone while protecting its home; it’s just doing what he has been trained to do, or instinctively feels it must do. Similarly, you can hardly blame a tiger when it mauls someone, because it’s usually just trying to survive. These events, of course, are no less tragic or horrifying, and Kong’s rampages certainly paint him as an antagonistic presence in his own stories, but calling him the “villain” outright is a debatable point.

The TV series “Doctor Who” has actually had NUMEROUS Misunderstood Villains throughout its long running: while a great number of the alien monsters the Doctor and his Companions face are certainly evil beings that need to be fought and destroyed, almost as many have been creatures that are either in some way justified in their actions, or even not that evil at all. One of my favorite examples, introduced during the modern “New Who” era, are the Ood. The Ood, in several of their appearances, are depicted as antagonists, and they certainly have the right look. (Seriously, they’re like a collection of Cthulu Cosplayers dressed up in Evil Empire uniforms.) However, it’s made very clear very quickly that the Ood are not, by nature, evil creatures: in fact, they are peaceful, mild mannered, and trusting. They only become dangerous when either provoked to some form of self-defense, or when under the control of some higher power taking over their minds (or both, on at least one occasion). While they can be terrifying when their dark side shines through, that dark side usually isn’t their fault, and it’s telling that the Doctor usually sympathizes with the Ood, and is more ready to help them than hurt them. They are not, generally speaking, bad guys in the least; any bad things they do are usually against or the result of the REAL villains of whatever story they are featured in.

All three of these previous examples were cases of the audience knowing the Misunderstood Villain is, obviously, Misunderstood, but I find it so much more fascinating when the misunderstanding fools even the audience. The quintessential antagonist of this sort, I would argue, is Professor Snape from the Harry Potter series. In the first book of the series, “Harry Potter and the Philosopher's Stone” (or the “Sorcerer’s Stone,” as it’s called in the movie and in the US novel releases), Snape at first seems like the bad guy of the story. He’s rude to people in general, and seems to have it out for Harry and his friends, plus…he just LOOKS evil! (Not to mention his name: “Severus Snape” isn’t exactly a moniker that inspires good confidence.) However, by the end of the book, it’s revealed that Snape, despite his nasty qualities, was actually trying to HELP Hogwarts and even Harry throughout the piece, and all the evil things that happened were the result of another character. This ends up becoming a recurring theme throughout the books: Snape is not necessarily a nice person, and saying he’s a hero is a far stretch…but over and over again, we see the same pattern repeated, with Snape seemingly acting as a scoundrel, only for it to be revealed he was actually doing something decent. By the end of his time in the novels, Snape has done some of the worst things any character in the series can do, yet even Harry realizes that his least favorite teacher, one of his arch-nemeses, really isn’t as bad as he always thought. It’s this constant back and forth that makes Snape so intriguing, and a favorite character for many.

On very rare occasions, you’ll find Misunderstood Villains who seem to straddle both sides of this equation. Perhaps the best example I can give there is Papyrus, from the video game Undertale. Much like “Doctor Who,” this game is actually chock full of characters you can call Misunderstood Villains, as the POV player character - Frisk - repeatedly runs into obstacles in the form of antagonistic monsters trying to halt their progress. However, with the exception of the tragic-but-devious Flowey, none of these monsters are actually evil characters: some of them may seem frightening or dangerous at first, but they are ultimately out to do what they feel is best for those they care about, and all of them are reasonable and merciful creatures, provided you act reasonable and merciful to them in turn. Papyrus, however, is my favorite example for one simple reason: Papyrus’ entire gimmick is that…well…he just ACTS like a villain. And not just any kind of villain, no no no, he is a moustache-twirling, Skeletor-inspired, seemingly cartoonishly wicked type of villain. He’s a skeleton with a sharp angular design and crooked smile, dressed in a cape and constantly letting out a “Nyeh-Heh-Heh!” laugh. He conjures up various traps to try and capture your main character, popping up over and over again and calling people “Fools!” and other such things. He’s over-the-top, theatrical…and it becomes pretty clear pretty quickly that, while Papyrus may walk the walk and talk the talk of a stereotypical bad guy, that’s NOT what and who he actually is. In fact, Papyrus is one of the nicest characters in Undertale: he’s extremely friendly when you get to know him, and much more softhearted than you might expect. He SEEMS like a villain, but that’s just kind of how he is. And considering he’s one of the first major Monster antagonists we encounter, he proves to be an important one for the Player. Toriel in the level beforehand became antagonistic towards the end, but it was clear she always had good intentions and desires. Papyrus fools us into thinking he’s the bad guy with his demeanor, but it becomes pretty obvious pretty fast that he’s not as bad as we might believe at first glance.

However the Misunderstood Villain works, they essentially serve the same purpose as the Misunderstood Hero. However, because the Misunderstood Villain is always the antagonist, while the Misunderstood Hero is always the protagonist, they give us a different spin on the concept. Instead of making us cheer for the underdog, Misunderstood Villains teach us that we shouldn’t judge books by their covers. These characters typically not only do seemingly evil things, but also just happen to LOOK evil, which makes judging them as bad guys an easy trap for the audience to fall into, just as it is easy for the characters in the story to fall into. It’s by recognizing the good qualities underneath the superficial darkness that we learn from these types of characters. Just when we’re ready to judge horrible behavior or appearances in a negative way, the Misunderstood Villain shows us that sometimes what seems awful isn’t as bad as we first expected. They encourage us to look before we leap, not just for our own sakes, but for the sake of the people who might help us most…and, sometimes, could really use some help themselves.

[versadies]

hi dan! how are you? congrats on 1k!! for the prompt event, can i request libra + kaeya + fluffy angst in which the reader realizes kaeya is their soulmate when he lies, on a very stressful day for both of them, about them never being a bother when they need a favor, so reader starts avoiding him bc they become unsure on how to act around him? either hc or drabble is fine. thank you so much! have a great day!

bothersome (hc scenario)

penpal: i'm doing fine (other than getting ready for school in a few weeks), hope this is to ur liking anon ! have a great day as well <<3

prompt: libra the scale, lie-tattoo soulmate au

pairing/s: kaeya x gn!reader

sypnosis: hc on how you avoiding kaeya after finding out he’s your soulmate.

includes: fluff/slight-angst, short fic, mentions of alcohol, reader overthinking, mentions of injuries

you need a drink. immediately.

when being assigned to a high class commission for the first time, you honestly thought things will go smoothly, even with reckless pallad tagging along.

but then the two of you came across to three ruin guards, causing you to be ditched by pallad and left you alone to deal with the three mechanics.

by the time you came back to mondstadt, you were filled with bandages covering your bruises and injuries littered all over your body, earning concerned stares from people as you pass by.

you could care less from the attention you received, all that was running through your mind is that you weren't able to complete a once-in-a-lifetime commission and missed your opportunity.

katheryne was more than happy to at least reward you for slaying the three ruin guards that was apparently a commission. despite getting paid by the end of the day, you were still disappointed.

as soon as you claimed your rewards from katheryne, you immediately took a visit to angel's share, hoping to find a certain man to chat with.

your eyes brightens when you spotted kaeya sitting on one of the stools in front of the counter.

"hey," you called, causing kaeya to look at you as he watches you sitting down beside him.

"rough day?" he asks with a teasing grin, gesturing your treated wounds. "how was it?"

you let out a sigh, quietly asking charles to give you your usual drink. "the commission? what can i say if i didn't do it at all?"

kaeya pats your shoulder reassuringly, taking a sip of his drink before putting it down. "care to entertain me with the details?" he asks.

"ruin guards." you said nonchalantly, thanking charles– who gave you your drink. "they all suddenly appeared and my partner ditched me."

he sighs dramatically in response. "what a coward."

you nodded in agreement. "indeed. what about you? got a rough day too?"

kaeya simply shrugs in response. "that's for you to not find out and for me to only know." he replied, swirling his drink around.

you stayed silent for a while, looking down at your glass with a blank look on your face.

now that you think about it, there was one certain commission with a generous reward that you could ask katheryne to let you do– not to mention the fact that with kaeya's help, you can definitely finish this commission in no time.

"say kaeya," you look at the calvary captain curiously, your eyes lands on his. "you don't mind if i ask you a favor, right?"

"are we going to bury or burn the body?" he asks jokingly.

he lets out a light laugh when he sees you rolling your eyes at his joke. "i'm merely jesting. you don't have to worry about being bothersome to me, you can always ask me for a favor."

you smile gratefully at your friend. "you have my thanks, kaeya."

as the both of you continue chatting the night away while enjoying your drink, you couldn't help but notice an itch in your covered arm, your hand constantly scratching on the bandage with irritation.

it wasn't until you removed the bandages the next day when you realized why it was itchy.

you were sure the words imprinted on your arm would haunt you for a while.

"you don't have to worry about being bothersome to me, you can always ask me for a favor."

you stared at the words on your arm for a while, unsure how to feel with your recent discovery. surely this was just a coincidence, right? but what if it wasn't–?

does this mean.. he finds you bothersome and annoying?

you frowned, your hands brushing against the tattoo whilst ignoring the pain from its touch. perhaps you should avoid him and not bother him unless necessary.

you let out a sigh, grabbing the new bandages you got from the cathedral and start wrapping it around your injuries, the thoughts about kaeya's true feelings about you never left your mind.

since then, you started avoiding areas where you know you'll encounter the man, whether it'd be angel's share, the knights of favonius headquarters, and even the entrance of mondstadt, deciding to go to the right entrance of the city and go to katheryne from there during the morning.

you were quite proud that you managed to get away from the calvary captain's sight, not minding the new change of routes and the hindrances you had to do in order to avoid kaeya like a plague.

this went on for a week. you no longer heard of the man and he the same. every time you see at least one glance of his familiar figure, you would immediately head to the opposite direction, ignoring him calling out your name should he notice your presence nearby. you're honestly grateful he didn't try to chase you.

even though you're okay with avoiding him, you couldn't stop your head from thinking about kaeya, wondering if he's now happy that you're no longer bothering him.

it didn't help that you've been debating with yourself on whether or not you should tell kaeya, a person who finds his own soulmate bothersome, that you're his soulmate.

deep down, you knew it was best to tell him, he deserves to know after all. besides, it's not like the world will end if you tell him, right?

you were simply walking around windwail highland– looking for certain items for a commission when you spotted him standing not too far away.

your breath hitches when you see him looking at you direction, spotting you right away. oh crap.

without another thought, you immediately turned away and started jogging to the opposite direction, praying to barbatos that kaeya isn't followin–

"my, i didn't know you'd be a slow runner." you felt your heart jump from kaeya's sudden voice, causing you to stop your tracks in surpirse when you see kaeya jogging alongside you and stopped as well.

he chuckles at your reaction, crossing his arms with a stilled-grin plastered on his face. "so now you're not running away from me anymore?"

you tried to walk away after those words, only for kaeya to suddenly grip your wrist and stop you from going anywhere.

"what do you want, kaeya?" you ask calmly, trying not to look at the man behind you as you stare at the direction ahead.

his grip on your wrist didn't falter. "care to tell me why you're suddenly avoiding me like i'm a plague? did i say something wrong?" he asks.

"it's not that."

you stayed silent, now unsure what to say. you knew that you'd expose yourself right away the moment you lie in front of his face.

you then sighed, looking down at the ground in defeat. it's now or never.

"am i... a bother to you, kaeya?" you questioned, scared of his response. will he lie again?

his grin faltered, taken back by surprise from your question. "what?"

you turn behind to look at kaeya, causing him to let go of your wrist. "i... i need you to be honest with me. am i a bother to you?"

you watched as kaeya stayed silent, looking at you with a serious look. "what made you think of such thing–?"

"remember when i asked you if you wouldn't mind me asking you a favor?" you asked, furrowing your eyebrows. "do you remember what you said to me during that night?"

before kaeya could say anything, you slowly raise your arm to his eye level and lifted up your sleeves, showing him the exact words that he remembered saying on that night.

his grin completely disappeared.

"when i saw this the day after that, i had so many things to think about. i thought i should be happy that you're my soulmate– but why did... why did it had to be because of this lie?"

"y/n i–"

"i avoided you because i thought you think of me as a hindrance to you and i didn't.. i didn't want to bother you and your duty as the calvary captain." you explained, your shoulders slumped. "but i kept thinking if i told you that i'm your soulmate, you would've been disappo–"

your eyes widens when you felt his arms wrapping around you out of nowhere.

"i'm not disappointed that you're my soulmate, y/n." he said, hugging you in comfort. "if anything, i'm... relieved."

you furrowed your eyebrows. "what about... what about the favor? why did you lie–"

"i lied because it was a stressful day for me as well," he clarified. "yes, i did find favors bothersome at that time, but i never find you bothersome, so i had no choice but to say i'm okay with your favors because it's from you."

you felt yourself slowly relaxed when you didn't feel any itchy feeling around your body, letting out a sigh in relief as you continue to let kaeya hug you to his content.

"so does this mean.. you want me as your soulmate?" you ask hesitantly.

he smiles genuinely for the first time, holding onto you tighter and nodded.

"yes."

[adoringhaikyuu]

you’re horny on your period 

characters: aone + atsumu + kageyama + kenma + (gn!reader) 

request: hey babes, can i request hq boys (of ur choice, but with tsumu on it pls) with a fem s/o whos on her period and very horny? lol, if ur uncomfortable with it i'll totally understand • by anonymous

warnings: horny tings, suggestive tings, period sex mentions but nothing actually happens <3

notes: everyone is 18+ in this !! the reader has their period obviously but there are no pronouns used so technically it’s gn :) i actually rly like this one!

aone 

you tried to get over it, but it was no use

it’d been an hour and you were still needy, an unsatisfied ache in the pit of your stomach and between your legs, not just because of your cramps

you were debating telling aone because you didn’t to bother him and period sex could be messy and some might even say gross

but of course, like the observant boyfriend he is, he noticed something was bothering you

aone walked into your bedroom, immediately sensing your discomfort. he stopped in front of the bed where you were sitting. his voice was gentle, despite his serious exterior but you could tell he was worried. “cramps?” 

you paused, deciding to speak before you changed your mind. “yeah, but that’s not really what’s bothering me...” 

he raised his brows, silently asking you to explain so he could help you.

“i...” you rubbed your thighs together, shuffling on the bed nervously as you focused your eyes on the sheets rather than his curious eyes. “i’m just feeling kind of needy?”

he stayed standing, “oh...would you like me to help?”

“yes–no?” you looked up to see him tilting his head at you, confused. “i just know some people find it gross and it can be messy, you know? don’t wanna be a bother.” 

“your issue is the mess?” 

you nodded and he hummed before leaving without another word. you sunk down a bit. you were fully prepared for it to go either way, but the rejection still kinda hurt a bit. you were about to go to the shower to take care of yourself when aone came back into the room, a towel and wipes in his hand. 

you looked up at him shocked, “what––”

he put the towel down and set the wipes aside, “for the mess.”

you immediately got up and pulled him in for a kiss, making his eyes widen slightly before he gave in, holding you by the waist. you mumbled against his lips, “i love you so much.” when you pulled away, you noticed the light blush and subtle smile on his face.

he licked his lips. “i love you too.” 

atsumu

normally when you were on your period, you wouldn’t let tsumu touch you tbh

period sex was a hassle

and normally you could control yourself or just take care of yourself on your own time in the shower or while he was out

but today for some reason, you needed him 

well you knew the reason actually––

as soon as atsumu came home, drenched in sweat from the gym, his grey tank top practically glued to his torso. you could see his neck shining and even his hair was wet, which you saw once he took off his cap. 

he set things down and immediately ran over to you on the couch to give you a quick kiss. “hey babe,” he grinned and stood up straight, stretching his arms behind his head, which wasn’t helping you at all. “damn that workout was intense, i’m beat. i’m gonna head to the shower, okay? then we can cuddle.” 

you opened your mouth but didn’t say anything, nodding instead. he smiled and headed towards the bathroom but he only made it about three steps before you stopped him with a call of his name, the sight of his back only furthering the feelings you had.

he turned back, “yeah?” 

you paused, “i um...” you sighed, “i need you.”

you could see a smile forming it’s way onto his face slowly, not wanting to get his hopes up too soon. he always wanted to help you out on your period but you’d never let him. 

“like need me need me?” 

you nodded “but we’ll only do it in the shower!” 

the smile finally burst on in his face. he made his way over to you again and planted a big kiss on your lips, groaning happily when you moaned lightly. 

“on second thought another workout doesn’t sound too bad.” he winked and smiled cheekily before throwing you over his shoulder and running to the bathroom, ignoring your yelp. 

“what got you so worked up anyway?” he asked casually, stepping into the bathroom. 

he set you down and you looked up at him sheepishly, “you...”

he grinned smugly, his hands reaching for your shirt. “oh i am so blowing your back out–”

kageyama

you tried to ignore what you were feeling, not wanting to ruin the moment since you and kageyama loved to do this every week

have a movie night and just relax

and you now he’d been working really hard lately so he deserved some rest

but you had a problem

you kept fidgeting in your seat next to him, trying to either relieve yourself slightly or make it go away, you weren’t too sure

and to be honest you weren’t really paying attention to it and kageyama could tell

after twenty minutes or so into the movie, he asked you what was wrong but you waved him off, assuring him it was nothing

but you couldn’t help but focus on him, the sharp cut of his jawline, the curve of his lips

then he put his hand on your thigh and you got to thinking of the feeling of his hands on you

and that sent you down a tunnel of unholy thoughts

kageyama felt your fingertips tracing the veins in his hands and tried to ignore it at first, keeping his eyes trained on the tv. but when you let your fingers trail up along his arm as well, his hand subconsciously squeezed your thigh and his eyes widened when you let out a quiet moan.

you both paused and kageyama turned his head slowly, eyes wide and looked at you, his lips parted. “are you–” he swallowed, trying to calm himself down. “okay?” 

you looked over at him, trying to act innocent. “mhm. just tickled, that’s all.” 

he nodded and turned back to the screen, and you tried to as well, but you kept glancing back at him, debating with yourself about whether or not you should say something. you didn’t want to be selfish and disrupt the movie, but you also couldn’t ignore what you were feeling, it was too intense. 

it lasted about five minutes before he looked at you from the corner of his eye. “you know i can see you watching me, right?” 

you felt your cheeks heat up and you huffed. “i’m sorry i just...” he turned to face you fully, curious and a bit concerned. his hand trailed up to your inner thigh, completely innocently and that’s when you decided you couldn’t hide it anymore. 

“i’m horny tobio.” 

his eyes brightened and he stuttered for a bit, “o–oh. well––do you want me to help?” he started to move closer but you looked to the side and he stopped. 

“it’s just––i’m on my period.” when he didn’t say anything for a few seconds you looked back to find him staring at you blankly.

he tilted his head and looked from side to side. “and?” 

you opened your mouth and closed it. “well...i’m, you know...bleeding...doesn’t that bother you? it’ll take more like effort and i know you’re tired––”

he cut you off, placing a hand under your chin, a shy smile on his face. “i don’t care about that. plus wouldn’t it help with your cramps?” 

you nodded, “well, only if you make me cum.” 

his brows furrowed, offended. “i always make you!” 

“yeah you do.” you laughed, taking his hand in yours, making him smile at you. “but are you sure you want to do this now? it might get messy.”

he leaned in and kissed your cheek before pulling back to look at you earnestly, his eyes a shade darker. “i don’t care.” he kissed you on the lips, “all i care about,” his hand tilted your head and pulled you closer, whispering against your lips. “is making you feel better.” 

kenma

kenma could tell something was off about you

he knew you were on your period but there was something else that he couldn’t figure out

he was waiting for you to tell him but you never did

the thing is, you’d just moved in together a few months ago and while you’ve had a couple periods in the same house 

(which he’s totally normal about) 

you haven’t done anything while you were on your period

normally you’d take care of yourself, but you felt a little self conscious about doing it in your shared house for some reason 

and kenma like never left the house

sure, he had his headphones on a lot but still––

so you were a little tense and though you thought he was distracted, he definitely noticed

kenma stepped into your room and you smiled up at him before going back to your phone, thinking he was switching from the ps4 to the pc set up in your bedroom. but he didn’t, he came and stood next to your side of the bed, making you look up at him in surprise. 

“oh hey ken,” you sat up, your legs pressed tightly together. “what’s up?”

he looked at you for a moment before speaking up. “nothing...what’s wrong with you?”

your brows furrowed, “what do you mean?”

he sighed. “i can tell something’s wrong...” he looked down, a bit shy. “i was waiting for you to come to me about it but you never did. was it something i did?”

your eyes widened, he’d noticed? “no––no you didn’t do anything wrong babe.”

“oh.” he nodded, crouching down beside you, resting his chin on the mattress. “then what is it? i can tell it’s not nothing.” 

you swallowed and set your phone down before looking down at him. “i just...” you sighed, “i’m kind of worked up...and i was too nervous to do something about it.” 

his eyes widened this time. “oh––”

you looked away. “yeah.” 

“well you don’t have to be nervous about that.” he stood up, a small smile on his face. “that’s perfectly fine.” 

you looked up at him, “oh, really?”

he nodded, “of course.”

you smiled, “oh thank you. so how long are you staying out for?”

his brows furrowed, “what? why would i leave the house––”

“wait you wanna stay?––” you paused, “well can you at least put your headphones on and close the bedroom door on your way out?” 

he blinked at you. “how can i help you if i’m not in the room?” 

you blinked back. “you want to help me?” 

he blushed and nodded sheepishly, “yeah...why wouldn’t i?” 

you stuttered a bit, “well i just––you know i’m bleeding, that could get messy...” 

he paused and glanced around the room seemingly in thought, and you figured that he was rethinking the whole situation until he spoke up again. “well i want you to be comfortable and the shower isn’t the best place for that...so how about i just get a towel to put here instead?” 

you stared at him for a few seconds, “each day i fall more and more in love with you.” 

he blushed even deeper and tried to hide his smile as he turned around, “shut up––i’m going to get the towel.” 

[adriensaltprompts]

Submitted Prompt: “Dye Hard, Bye Harder”

A few details edited, mostly because I’m faceblind lol, but also to show that she’s still Very Obviously Ladybug.

One day, Marinette overhears a conversation between her parents as they’re watching a show together.  The main character dyed her hair blonde, and while that is literally the only change that was made in her appearance, her parents are confused over whether or not it’s the same actress, debating over it before ultimately checking on the Net to figure it out.

Inspired by this, she consults with Tikki and the other kwami about how much control bearers have over their appearance.  This leads into a long and highly enlightening discussion about glamours, and the extent to which they can alter their costumes.  While incredibly excited about the potential this holds, she decides to start small, making relatively small adjustments to her appearance as Ladybug.

Namely adding some extra protection and layering so that she’s not running around in a form-fitting spandex suit anymore.  At this juncture, the overall look remains the same; it’s still easily recognizable as her ‘iconic costume’, just with some sensible additions.

She also tests out changing her hair color while transformed; much to her delight, it works. But she decides to keep it its normal black for now, she’ll try out other colors later.  Brimming with the possibilities, she heads out on patrol.

When she crosses paths with Chat Noir, Adrien completely flips out. Radiating hostility when he confronts her, demanding to know where his lady is, insisting that she’s a stranger… because despite how minor her alterations are, (literally all she’s done at this point is adding armour padding and shoes, so that the end result is similar to his “Mr. Bug” transformation, though still the normal red with black spots. The only difference is that now she’s not literally wearing a suit that is vacuum packed to her skin) he’s still thrown off and furious.  Treating her like an unknown enemy, a potential threat, an imposter…

Significantly more hostile than he was with Sentibug. 

It actually comes as a pleasant surprise that he’s learned his lesson since then. She was beginning to think he was incapable of learning from his mistakes.

However, as she tries to calm him down, his hissy fit isn’t so easily quelled… and the more venom he spits, the more she finds herself growing weary and aggravated by his behavior. Sentibug only looked like her, she didn’t act like her at all. She’s not doing anything differently than normal right now, the only thing that’s changed is what her outfit looks like. So what, exactly, is making him act this way all of a sudden? Why was he so accepting of Sentibug and hostile towards her (even then, when she was right there to compare the fake version to, he still chose the fake version).

She started to get more and more fed up as he rants and raves at her, trying his best, which couldn’t defeat her at her worst, to attack her.

Is she supposed to just… accept that he mysteriously can’t recognize her when she’s got on some extra layers? When she’s actually wearing clothes rather than a skintight suit?

She’s forced to question his motives, because his aggression is leaving her no choice.

Is he really having that much trouble seeing that she’s still Ladybug, or is he really angry that she changed her look without consulting him? She knows the answer as soon as she asks herself it.

And then her exasperation starts to turn to anger.

Why does she always have to play peacemaker whenever he gets a bug up his butt over the simplest, stupidest things?  Why isn’t he ever expected to compromise? Why isn’t she allowed to have armour and clothes? Why does she have to let herself suffer so that he won’t attack her?

Why does she have to put up with this…?

…Oh.  She doesn’t.

She’s the Guardian now.

If her so-called 'partner’ insists on making mountains out of molehills and having his every whim catered to… If he insists on harassing her with his claims of 'love’ only to flip out and pretend not to recognize her after literally the simplest wardrobe shift in an obvious ploy to get her to change back to the skin-tight sorry excuse for a 'suit’ she had before… If he can’t work with her unless she bends over backwards to appease him, then fine. 

She just won’t work with him anymore. 

She can find another partner, one who doesn’t have to be the Black Cat – one who actually takes their responsibilities seriously, rather than expecting her to do all the heavy lifting.

And finding out just who she’s been dealing with all this time does wonders for snuffing out that sputtering torch she’s been lugging along, as well…

[aoitrinity]

Why Do I Have to Feel Like a Fucking Conspiracy Theorist -- OR -- How I Find a Semblance of Peace on Sunday Night

I’m also going to start this out with a GIANT DISCLAIMER.

I am about to theorize about what may have happened to the SPN finale. I have absolutely no insider knowledge. I am merely speculating here based on the panels and a bunch of Twitter and Tumblr posts that I have been reading over the last few days. If you are not in a good place to read such things, TURN BACK PLEASE. Go take care of yourself and your mental health. You and your feelings are valid and deserve to be handled gently right now.

Additionally, if you are here to give me shit for being unhappy with the ending, please walk away as well. I am here to reach out and share my feelings with people who might be struggling to make sense of something that upset some of us in very deep-seated ways. I am not here to bother you or critique you or tell you that you’re lesser because you liked the ending. If you felt it was good, then go enjoy it.

Long-ass post beneath the cut, everyone.

Alrighty folks...I debated whether or not to do this because I have been spiraling down the hell that is the SPN finale since Thursday. The travesty of what happened to our show--to this beloved show that seemed to have been so perfectly and precisely written for at least four years that it had basically already paved its own tarmac on which to land its plane and we all thought we knew exactly what we were going to get. And then we didn’t. We had a nigh Cas-less and entirely Eileen-less ending. We had no goodbye between Cas and Jack. We had Dean dying young after finally finding his freedom, only to ascend to heaven with no one but Bobby. We had the weird, weird, weird incest-y death scene. We had the bridge crane shot thing because...sure. You do you, Robert Singer.

It was so terrible, so truly awful, and I couldn’t seem to square any of it with anything we had known going in. I tossed and turned and cried and didn’t eat or sleep all weekend. I spent hours just reloading tumblr and twitter, going to the Misha panel, reading and reading and listening and trying to figure out what the fucking hell is going on because I needed to know exactly where to direct my anger. And after a fuckton of talking with @winchester-reload, I think we have at least a very plausible theory about what happened here--I’m laying it out below as much for my own peace of mind as anything else, because otherwise all of these thoughts are going to continue to spin around in my head for weeks and I won’t be able to do jack shit.

Now to start off, unfortunately I do think Dean was slated to die from the beginning of this season. I don’t know WHY they thought that was the best way to go, and I wish they had listened to Jensen on this one. Part of me wonders if it was an order from on high based on the discussion between Becky and Chuck earlier this season--the writers knew it wasn’t a great choice, but they were trying to signal to us that we should feel free to write our own endings to the story because they’d be better (I can wax poetic on the signs of why many of the writers probably wanted Dean to live, but that’s another post). I’m not defending that choice by any means, just laying it out there that I think they didn’t necessarily all want to kill Dean like they did.

However, what I THINK I can explain now is what happened with Misha and why we got so jerked around with Cas’s story. Consider what we know (I can’t immediately source all of it, but I did my best):

At the end of episode 15x19, Lucifer has been returned to the Empty after being killed AGAIN. He talks with Cas. Maybe harasses him a bit about Dean, idk. But then...Jack shows up. New God Jack. And he picks up Cas and pulls him out of the Empty, leaving Lucifer behind, because seriously. Fuck that guy (also leaving behind his abusive father is character growth for Jack, so yay for that).

-Misha was contracted to film 15 episodes this season. He was only in 14.

-Misha told Michael Sheen he had to go back to film 1.5 episodes after the shutdown in March. (Starts at 6:13)

-Misha was in Vancouver during filming of the finale.

-Mark P said at Darklight Con that the last scene he filmed was with Alex and Misha (and Mark P was only in episode 19).

-Misha implied that he was present for various filming moments, including Dean’s death (start at 35:15), and said that it felt like a “mini-reunion.”

-Various sources have mentioned that Jimmy Novak was supposed to be in the finale.

-After episode 18, Stands tweeted a fan who was angered and hurt by Cas's death that they could talk about the “bury the gays” issue after the finale aired.

-In episode 19 we know there were takes of the parking lot scene where the only thing fans observing could hear was Dean yelling “CAS” at Chuck (fuck I can’t find this one right now, but it’s definitely out there)

-Also in episode 19, we had a very strange, awkward montage at the end of the episode.

-In episode 20, we know there were a FUCKTON of missing scenes

-We also had no opening montage, but three other separate montages.

-Carry on My Wayward Son was played TWICE, back-to-back at the end of the episode.

-Episode 20 was shorter than normal and had surprisingly little dialogue. The pacing was VERY strange.

-The cast and crew has been almost completely silent about the finale since it came out. When they have spoken, it has been with an awkward excuse of “Uh...COVID?”

-Samantha Ferris has specifically noted that, despite the Harvelle’s being back in play and a big heaven reunion having been planned pre-COVID, neither she nor Chad Lindberg received any such invitation to return.

-Cas and Dean POP Funko figures were pictured together in a replica of Harvelle’s in 15x04.

NOW with all of this in mind (and I’m probably missing some stuff too because there is so much--feel free to add on to that list), please bear with me because here is what I think we were SUPPOSED to get POST-COVID (after it was determined that the reunion couldn’t happen because of the virus):

In episode 20, we start with our NORMAL OPENING MONTAGE, like always. It traces everything that happened during the season. We are reminded of Cas. The confession. Rowena. Eileen. Jack. Billie, God, the Empty, all of it. 

Things then follow along in the episode where they did up until Dean dies and wakes up in heaven. After his conversation with Bobby, he drives off to find Cas (who, in the script, was listed as “Jimmy Novak” in order to protect against script leaks--who wouldn’t want to do their best to avoid spoilers about the finale with the wrapping of a fifteen-year show?). He does indeed find Cas. We get Dean’s end of the confession. Hell, maybe we even get a kiss. And then Dean sets up his new heaven home in the recreated Harvelle’s. Maybe Cas even fucking moves in. 

Years pass. We get Sam having his life on Earth (still can’t explain why they cut Eileen and couldn’t even have Sam signing vaguely to the blurry brunette in the background; if anyone wants to take that on, go for it). Eventually, Cas tells Dean that it’s almost Sam’s time. Dean takes Baby and goes to meet Sam at the bridge. The cover of Carry on My Wayward Son plays during this much shorter sequence. End of episode.

But that’s not what we got. Instead, much of what I just wrote about was excised from the episode. The remnants were stitched together after shooting had been wrapped. Filler was added in the form of montages and long, unnecessary extra shots to get the episode to something approaching a reasonable length. 

But why? Why would they spend all that time and money and quarantining on Misha, only to almost completely cut him out of the finale? I struggled with why the fuck the CW would want this mammoth show to go down as the greatest queerbait in TV history when they had the chance to do something truly beautiful and monumental with it? It couldn’t just be sheer homophobia, right? Well, I think that factored into it, my friends, but here is where my head is at right now.

It was about cold, hard cash.

Now I could be wrong, but this is what I’m thinking at the moment: Supernatural is going off of the air. Supernatural, the CW’s cash cow for fifteen years. Sure there is still money to be made on blu-rays and merchandise and cons...but they need people watching their shows. They need that sweet advertising revenue. And you know what show they have about to premiere? A show that could, potentially, bring with it a chunk of that SPN revenue?

Walker.

And if any of you know anything about the original Walker Texas Ranger, you know that the show was predominantly a show about a very heterosexual white man being very excessively heterosexual. And for SOME REASON over the years, many of the execs at the CW still seem to think that this show, Supernatural, is really attractive to a lot of middle-American white men...whom they desperately want to watch this new show with this guy from Supernatural that they already know.

Now here’s where COVID fucked us. I think Destiel was greenlit by TPTB, at least in SOME form, before COVID. But then the pandemic happened, and they panicked. They got the cut of the last two episodes and watched them in their original, probably queer form. And then, the execs at CW looked at the economy. They looked at their cash cow, about to make its journey to the great beyond. And they looked at this new little calf Walker that they were so desperately worried about. And they made a choice.

They decided that it would be too risky to take the step with Destiel. They were worried about frightening off their ever-so-valuable hetero male demographic with the possibility that a traditionally masculine man in his 40s could be in love with another man in an overt way. It was homophobia mixed with greed, spun up by fear for their revenues because of COVID.

So they called in Singer, possibly Dabb, although I wouldn’t be surprised if they went straight to Singer. They told them that Destiel had to go: executive orders. And the only way to make it go in a way that removed any trace of what had been there was to rewrite what happened to Cas and cut him out from the last two episodes entirely. It was too late to reshoot anything. They had to just cut and stitch and fill with bullshit montages. 

They removed the scene at the end of 19, probably because Cas and Lucifer discussed Dean. All that was left of Misha there was his voice on that fake phone call. They may have cut other things too, but I would bet my life that they cut a scene from the end of the episode and replaced it with that very strange montage. Then they moved onto 20. They cut out every scene with Cas. And left in only two platonic mentions of him, neither made by Dean. They tried to imply that Cas might show up in Dean’s heaven at some point, but that was as far as the editors could go in the time they had. They filled in with montages, awkwardly long shots, anything they could do to fill all of those missing scenes.

And they even had to take the opening montage, because literally everything in it pointed to Cas being there at the end of it all. They wouldn’t be able to leave out his scenes, they were too critical to the season. They couldn’t cut his confession without raising eyebrows. So they cut the whole thing and moved “Carry On My Wayward Son” to one of the newly-added driving montages at the end. Which is why we awkwardly had both songs play back-to-back--again, such a strange choice unless they were out of options and couldn’t exactly buy rights to a new track or compose anything else.

And so we were left with the shadow of the finale that we deserved, that Cas and Dean deserved. We were left without resolution or happiness or words. Bobo told us the most important thing about happiness is just “saying it” and our characters were silenced without anyone ever knowing the truth.

I think the writers might have known and been given the new party line that “Misha never filmed, he couldn’t, sorry, it was COVID, no one’s fault!” But I don’t think most of the cast even knew it had happened until they watched the finale on Thursday with us (though they might have been confused why the bit from 15x19 was sliced, they could reasonably have assumed it was a time thing and also BL episodes don’t make sense anyway). Why do I say that?

Well, first of all, Misha started sending out a bunch of excited texts to fans with some old BTS pictures about an hour before the show started airing on EST. He also wanted his children to see the episode, his YOUNG children. Why would he show them such a traumatic episode if their Dad wasn’t in it? What if it was because he wanted them to witness what was going to be a monumental moment in queer television history that their DAD got to be a part of? And then that was all dashed.

Which is why I think the cast and crew went almost completely radio silent the next day. I don’t think they knew. And based on how they have been acting on social media since then, I think many of them are absolutely furious, but they have been silenced because of NDAs, because they want to find work again in a cutthroat industry, because they don’t want to bring down the hellfire of Warner Brothers Entertainment upon themselves. So the most we have gotten is a little acknowledgement from the MERCHANDISING COMPANY trying to validate our pain (god bless Shirts, she is a LIFESAVER) and a response to my salty tweet about keeping good stuff in the closet from Adam Williams (the VFX coordinator) that seemed to acknowledge the validity of my complaint.

Then there was a scramble behind the scenes, I would bet my life. Talking points were fed to the boys who had panels today, to CE, to all the cast and crew:

Toe the party line. Misha never filmed. This was always about COVID. Do not mention Destiel. Do not mention Dean’s feelings for Cas. Do not promote the Castiel Project or anything that validates the idea that this was anything less than a superb ending.

And that is why we have heard so little from the cast on this front, and what we have heard has been muddled and contradictory. That is why the writers are saying nothing. That is why we have been left adrift.

Now before I close this out, I do want to say that I really, genuinely do not think this was on the writers at all. I feel like they tried to give us the best ending that they could, in a writers room that we know is notorious for splitting along party lines about the overall story (BL and Singer, who have always been about the brothers and their man-pain vs. Dabb and the rest who always seemed to want more for them and for Cas). I think they did everything in their power to at least end with Dean and Cas happy together. If they could give us nothing else, they wanted to give us that. And then the network took it from them. From us. From everyone.

For the sake of fucking money. 

And the WORST PART OF IT ALL, for me, is that in the wake of this disaster, the fans have been left to try and figure out what happened. We have had to wade through a mire of conflicting information in the midst of all of our collective anger and grief over this garbage ending of a show many of us have loved and even relied on for YEARS, all the while wondering if we’re just fucking crazy, if we have all fallen collectively into the hole of conspiracy theories. That hurts ESPECIALLY badly because we have taken so many hits over the years from other groups on social media saying we were crazy for seeing things that weren’t there (especially Destiel), for writing meta and analyzing tropes and believing the evidence of our eyes and ears. The network has made us relive that entire nightmare WHILE processing our grief for a show we wanted so badly to celebrate and which instead we now have to mourn.

So again guys, I cannot prove that this is exactly what happened at all; this is simply my idea of what may have happened. But right now, it’s the most sense I can make from this mess, and to be honest, the act of typing it out has helped me enormously in my processing of it all. I feel like I can see more clearly, like I know where to target my outrage and where to direct empathy. I feel like just fucking maybe, I might be able to do my job tomorrow without bursting into tears at random moments. 

I really hope that this post has helped some of you to, in some small way, process this too. We get through this the way that Misha told us at his panel this morning, the way the writers have told us to do all season long...we throw out the story God gave us and we make it better. We write our characters the happy endings they deserve. 

We save them.

One last thing--if you have not already, please consider channeling your rage into a donation to one of the five causes our fandom has put together to pay tribute to our beloved show and to mourn the ending it should have had:

-The Castiel Project

-Dean Winchester is Love

-Sam Winchester Project

-The National Association of the Deaf

-The Jack Kline Project

[mc-lukanette]

[Part 1] [Part 2] [Part 3] [Part 4] [Part 5]

—————

Luka took a breath as he hit the last emotion-filled note on his guitar. His body vibrated just as his strings did, though he realized soon enough that there weren't enough high notes to lift him from feeling so low.

Marinette was Ladybug. He was still absorbing it, even though a part of him insisted that it should've been obvious; not just because there could only be one girl in Paris who was so brave, kindhearted, and suited for the job, but... well—

There was also only one girl in Paris who could be so unlucky. Luka was upset - angry, really - at all the things he couldn't have known that just proved to put more pressure on her. People idolized and adored Ladybug, but he never once thought that he wanted to be her. She didn't get anything from being a superhero outside of wasted time and the guilt of having to lie to everyone. He'd felt bad enough keeping Viperion a secret from his family, and he was only a temporary hero.

He sighed, setting his guitar down and raking his fingers through his hair. Marinette being Ladybug would've been enough of a shock on its own, but Adrien being Chat Noir made everything both worse and more complicated. In the midst of all the realizations he'd been having at the time, he felt lucky that he was able to get Ladybug - Marinette - to believe that his mind had just drifted for a moment. She'd still looked worried, but there was nothing he could've told her at the time, his mind too scrambled to be certain what the right steps were.

He'd always imagined that past snakes had learned of other's identities before as well, and thus had wondered before what he'd do if such a thing ever happened. Chat wasn't the one "in charge," so Luka wasn't worried about him (at least not in terms of talking about identities), but Ladybug was a different story.

Previously, he would've said that he'd tell her without hesitation, but the problem was that she was Marinette and the way he found out made things messy. If he told her that he knew, she'd blame herself and demand to know what happened for him to know so she could try to "fix" it, except there was nothing to fix and a conversation about his abilities would inevitably lead to talking about Adrien being Chat Noir.

In essence, he was at a roadblock. There was probably no "right" solution either, as he figured Sass might tell him; that even seemed to be the message Sass wordlessly sent him as Ladybug took his miraculous back. He’d probably known, and maybe had intentionally given him the power to see red strings on heroes in the first place. He didn’t know for sure because he couldn’t ask, aware that it would make Ladybug even more suspicious after he’d already tried to assure her.

What he did know was that Chat was something else to think about now. Chat was tied to her, and he knew - everyone knew, really - that there was drama going on in their relationship. He'd done only a little digging and Face to Face was all the evidence he'd needed, as if seeing the two interact in person wasn't already enough.

There was a pressure there, for Ladybug and Chat Noir to be a couple. Chat Noir was a habitual flirt, and most people ate up any drama or “juicy details” about their relationship. Everyone went wild for the hand kisses that Chat gave Ladybug, whether or not she pulled away from it. Add on the red string of fate, and it just made everything worse, making him wonder what the ties meant; did Adrien's string being tied around his ring mean that he became the cat through fate, specifically so—

It made Luka feel gross just thinking about it, and knowing what he knew made it even worse; people were shipping his friend with someone she wasn't interested in, even if it was "one side" specifically that she wasn't interested in.

He shook his head, feeling vaguely possessive. It wasn't about Marinette being his friend; it was about her deserving better than something deciding her fate for her.

He was brought out of his thoughts by a familiar jingle, pulling out his phone to see a message from Marinette.

Are we still on for tonight?

FOR THE FIRE I MEAN.

I just don't want you to get in trouble! You're sure???

He chuckled, his shoulders easing at Marinette's usual enthusiasm. It was adorable that she was worried about him and not what they were planning to do.

He typed back immediately, I'm sure, Marinette. Don't worry.

He glanced at the drawer under his bed, where all the Adrien pictures were. He imagined Adrien's face plastered all over Paris, flashing back and forth between Adrien himself and Chat Noir.

He felt like he shouldn’t be shocked by the revelation, though he wouldn't be able to quite explain why.

—————

Luka looked over his work once more, checking to make sure the fire would start properly. It'd been a while, but he at least hadn't gotten rusty and even got a congratulatory pat on the back from his mother when she'd seen him carrying the supplies. Had she known that it was Marinette's decision to do this, she would've married them on the spot herself.

As he eyed the box of Adrien pictures set out, he had to bury another slew of thoughts. He knew it was right to try and get rid of Marinette's string, but and he felt guilty knowing that he’d be satisfied at seeing the pictures burn for reasons outside of Marinette.

Speaking of whom, he looked up as he heard a familiar set of footsteps to see Marinette herself heading towards the Liberty, having just made her way down the stairs. She was dressed fairly lightly for nighttime, but wore a fluffy pink shawl around her shoulders to make up for it. Considering what they were doing, it made sense that she wasn't concerned about the cold.

The gangplank had already been put up for her, so she walked across with a smile that warmed him more than the eventual fire would. "Hey."

He smiled back, plopping down comfortably on the seat behind him. "Hey."

She gripped her shawl closer to herself as she glanced at the setup for the fire, the moonlight briefly shining off of her earrings. Luka attempted to avert his gaze from them, but only ended up staring at the red string around her neck. He gave up looking at her entirely at that point, checking the setup again as if it was extremely important to do so.

"You can sit anywhere," he offered, gesturing vaguely to all of the mismatched seats he'd placed around the future fire. He'd wanted to make sure she'd have options, though he hoped the designer side of her didn't mind the chaos of it all. He'd just grabbed whatever spare seating they'd had.

Marinette's eyes scanned over the various choices. Giggling, she replied, "Thank you."

He nodded in acknowledgment. He wasn't in any hurry to get the pictures burned, even if burning them was their goal that day. He'd intentionally had her go slowly so as to test the red string as little as possible, and he planned on doing the same here.

"I brought one for you too," she suddenly said off to his side.

He looked over in curiosity and noticed her open purse, a large piece of blue fabric nearly bursting out of it. It took a bit of effort from her - he imagined that she'd wanted it to be a surprise - but she managed to pull it out, presenting him with a shawl that matched hers exactly outside of its color. He smiled in appreciation of her thoughtfulness, then reached for it before realizing with a start, "Wait. Marinette, did you make these?"

Before she could answer, he took the shawl in his hands, turning it every possible way. Without a doubt, it was her handiwork, and along the back was where the design broke with a Marinette.

"Yeah," she confirmed, and he could practically hear her shy blush. "It's just—you're doing this for me, but even if you weren't, I don't want you to get cold, so..."

"It's great," he cut in firmly, leaving no room for doubt on her end. "Soft. Comfortable. I wish I was better with fashion to say more."

"No, you said more than enough," she assured, taking a seat next to him. That fact looked both silly and intimate given the multiple other seats she could've chosen instead, but he tried not to think about it.

Instead, he gave a curious glance at her pink shawl, silently comparing it to the one she'd given him. "...You didn't have to make it blue," he commented, and clarified before she could think anything bad, "I would've happily worn your colors."

She gave him a look, though didn't seem weirded out by the idea. "But... it's pink."

"What's wrong with pink?" he asked, genuinely confused. "It's your color."

She blushed, her shoulders hunching forward shyly. He didn't even bother taking back what he said, because he meant it; he might've favored blue when he picked out an outfit, but pink made him think of her.

It was much better than red at the very least.

Marinette pursed her lips in response, idly tugging at her shawl and seeming to be in an internal debate with herself. Apparently making a decision, she closed her eyes and breathed up, letting out a soft, "Okay."

He blinked and gave a tilt of his head to show his confusion. "Okay?"

She turned to him, resolutely pulling the fabric off of her shoulders. "T-then you can wear mine?"

He couldn't get another word out, too distracted by Marinette leaning towards him and carefully settling the shawl around his shoulders. Despite the bold move, she couldn't keep eye contact with him, awkwardly hanging onto the front of the shawl as she stared at his lap. She wasn't exactly warm or exuded any particular body heat - in fact, he was sure that her hands would be cold if he held them - but there was a comfort there that couldn't be matched by anyone else.

It took him a moment to make a move, at which point he remembered the fabric underneath his fingers. In a motion equally as careful as hers, he raised the blue shawl and settled it around her shoulders. She finally met his gaze, surprised, but smiled gratefully and released her grip on the pink shawl.

"You can keep it," she said quietly, with less shyness than before.

"Really?" he asked, placing a hand on the fabric to make sure it was what she meant.

She nodded, gripping her own as she replied, "A-as long as I can keep this one in exchange?"

He snorted, even covering his mouth to stifle a chuckle. "You made them, Marinette. Of course you can." He gave an obvious glance at the shawl to admire it. "I'd be happy to match with you."

She beamed at him. "Me too."

That topic officially concluded, his mind went blank for anything more and both of their gazes drifted to the unlit fire. He didn't have to look to know that she was shifting in anxiety in her seat, either wanting to back out or just get it over with.

"Are you ready?" he asked experimentally.

"Yes," she responded, perhaps a little stiffly but the resolve was there. She wanted this.

Luka stood briefly, and within the next few moments, the fire had been lit. The flames started out faint at first, then grew until it was something respectable, easily illuminating the small area around them. The slight chill from the wind dissipated as the fire warmed their skin, Luka hearing Marinette sigh in content harmony with him.

Neither of them took their shawls off despite the increased warmth.

The additional light from the fire made the box of pictures more obvious, with it sitting on a table not too far away. Luka took a step towards it, but Marinette was faster, grabbing up the box and turning to him with a determined expression.

"I have to do it," she insisted.

He didn't exactly disagree - this wasn't his battle - but it didn't stop him from looking nervously at the red string, the dangling part of it laying across her hand and dipping itself in the box, taunting him.

"How many do you want to do at a time?" He was careful in his wording, not wanting his tone to imply anything.

She furrowed her brows, staring down at the box in deep thought. Her fingers flexed against the cardboard, a small gust of wind blowing by and causing the fire behind her to whip around in protest.

"...All of them," she muttered, then met his gaze cautiously. "Will that be okay?"

Luka glanced at the fire, but it wasn't that he was worried about. The string would try to fight her, he was sure of it, and the only thing he wasn't sure of was if it would be better or not to let her go with her wishes. He half expected the string to physically drag her off the Liberty, and the mere thought caused his neck to sting.

But, he also believed in her. She was fighting fate herself without having used the snake even once, and he wasn't going to deny her if she thought this was best.

"Yeah," he assured. "Just don't get too close. I don't want you to get hurt."

She nodded, obviously not catching onto what he really meant.

Luka sat down on his chair, toying with the rips in his pants to keep his hands occupied as he watched her. Her posture was straight and confident as she faced the flames, despite the shake in her hands, and he was sure the fire in her eyes wasn't just a reflection.

He didn't see Ladybug in her place. There was only Marinette and everything that he already knew about her. Knowing what he did now wasn't surprising, but heartbreaking, and he couldn't be prouder of her for doing what she was trying to do.

To go against what everyone - even fate itself - expected of her. He couldn't relate on her level, but looking as he did and having the mother he did, he understood.

Finally, Marinette stepped forward, and the string was already tightening around her neck. She froze, shutting her eyes and clutching the box tighter as she mentally fought the sensation.

He barely managed to keep himself still.

She swallowed, taking another step and managing to open her eyes again. She squinted at the fire, either from the light or from her own resolve.

Then, all at once, she thrust the box forward, the pictures flying out and mingling with the flames. The fire flared up in response, practically roaring, and the string tightened further in protest. Marinette even let out a cry as she tossed the box aside.

Luka barely had time to react when she suddenly rushed towards him. He outstretched his arms and she filled up his lap, her heart seeking him out as she clutched his jacket. He wrapped his arms around her, hoping his comfort came through without words.

Her breathing was ragged, and he couldn't tell whether it was from the string or her emotions running high. He brought one of his hands higher up on her back, knowing that he could do nothing more for her but wishing he could.

He took solace in the fact that the worst of it was over.

Staring over her head, he watched as the pictures burned, blond turning black as the flames singed the pictures and reduced them to ashes. Marinette, meanwhile, remained against him, desperately clutching his fabric for wordless support. He honestly would've been okay being the only spectator to what she'd done, but she then shifted in his lap to glance behind her.

They watched the sight together, the fire whipping about with the wind like it was making sure the job was done as they'd wanted. In no time at all, there was no evidence of the pictures left outside of what was allowing the fire to burn brighter.

Marinette let out sigh of relief, collapsing against him again and nuzzling his chest. "What's wrong with me...?"

"Nothing," he replied, clutching her tighter. "You were amazing."

She looked up at him, possibly searching his expression to ensure he meant it, then offered a tired smile. She shifted again, but this time without any urgency or need. Luka sucked in a breath as she nestled her head against his shoulder, making herself comfortable on his lap while still being in a position where they could watch the fire together. Slowly, he relaxed, and they ended up not needing those other chairs after all, neither moving from their comfortable positions.

And, maybe it was just him, but the string seemed looser around her neck than it ever had before.