👼🏽random astro observations👼🏼
👼🏽👼🏻👼🏾
👼🏿 some Leo Sun feminine ppl... have the most jealous moms.. idk wtf that’s about
👼🏽 @daszlight said prominent Aries in the chart makes someone look like a baby/young, I think prominent Gemini does too
👼🏻 myyy Pisces Stellium puppy is named Honey Cocaïne (after a rapper), LOL I just think it’s funny that she’s unintentionally named after a drug and a rapper (Pisces/Neptune energy rules over drugs/escapism/music,etc.)
she is also very caring, prissy/sassy(love), she eats attention up, stares into my eyes often, clingy or distant no in between lol, good at traveling, intuitive lil pisces bby
👼🏾I’ve noticed that a vast amount of Taurus placement ppl are QUITE androgynous! (I mf love it!!!!!)
👼🏼ex: Kehlani, Coi Leray, Rico Nasty, Busta Rhymes, Janet Jackson, Miley Cyrus(Taurus Asc), Prince😩(Taurus Venus), Grace Jones, etc.
👼🏿 now that I found all these pictures I’m noticing, they ¡caannn! be very comfortable with their body or showing their body (I think bc Taurus is a very primal sign, being an Earth sign, ruled by the 5 senses and an animal 🐂)
-also a lot of people get mad at Taurus for being so comfortable with their bodies (ex: Coi Leray gets slandered publicly for loving/expressing herself physically.. very lame and very weird)
👼🏽this^ doesn’t apply to all Taurus, some may wish to cover up more, whichever they may choose, they are always going to choose what makes them ~feel~ very comfortable (shying away from clothes/accessories that make them feel constricted/not comfy) (ex:Jhene Aiko (Taurus Venus)
👼🏻Taurus rules my whole 6th house so.... that energy obviously snatches me TF UP 🙂🥵😭
👼🏾Squares in synastry ¡can! actually be so beautiful bc it allows the 2 parties to see life from a completely different, yet similar pov! Instead of tension, there can be healthy acceptance, of course only if both parties are willing (ex: Virgo+Sag placements, Aqua+Scorpio placements)
👼🏼an opinion but.. Capricorn placement ppl.. it’s like speaking to a grounded Earth fairy/angel.. some are even known for being angel like lmao, some ppl think they’re ditsy, until they read you and have you sitting there VERY stunned, I love y’all so much.. (ex: Sade, Yebba, Aaliyah🙏🏽, Jhené Aiko(Cap Mars), Dolly Parton, Ellie Goulding, Mac Miller🙏🏽)
👼🏿also so many Capricorn placements have intoxicating voices, examples above^
👼🏽both my friend’s parents have their Pluto in her 10th house and they definitely want to control her career/where she’s headed in life
👼🏻Aquarius Virgo and Gemini placements have the the same type of eccentric, quirky, and weird(love lol) personalities/convos
👼🏾 Mercury in Aries/Aries degrees....... ¡can! be very over powering... they have an extreme need to be right, that pride is only going to hurt them in the end
👼🏼I reeaally enjoy looking at Quincunx in the birth chart/synastry and all types of charts, some people say they aren’t that powerful, which I believe, instead it can be a nice subtle energy happening (ex: a couple in my family is an Aquarius Stellium and a Cancer Stellium and they’ve been married for 30 years, there’s a soft passionate energy that they share, it’s very loving to see)
👼🏿 Venus quincunx Uranus natal may be confused about romantic relationships early in life bc they want love but commitment may scare them, may get into Uranus/“new age” relationships very randomly,, pls make sure to develop boundaries/communication well
👼🏽 ...theory but you 5th house can determine your major love language? (Virgo/Gemini 5th house words of affirmation, Pisces/Scorpio/Cancer 5th house physical touch?) I assume planets may change this, Idk jus a theory
👼🏻 this seems so obvious bc they’re a fire sign, but the specific way that Leo Sun/Placement ppl can be so kind and warm is honestly to mf refreshing each time 🤌🏽 be as kind to yourselves bbys
👼🏼👼🏿👼🏽
these are only my observations, pls only take what resonates, lmk what you think <333
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Ouran High School Host Club fusion, anyone? XD
another plotting session with firesonic152 <3
firesonic152 - 04/24/2017
XDDDDDDDDDDD
oh my god
i typed in soldier 76 and gabriel reyes into like an "if you were an otome character" generator and
Soldier 76 is the protagonist.
type: rival
good end: run away to live together
bad end:love interest commits suicide
Gabriel Reyes is the side character.
type: rival
good end: living together
bad end: love interest is executed
A LITTLE TOO REAL
SuspiciousPopsicle - 04/24/2017
WHAT THE FUCK
firesonic152 - 04/24/2017
RIGHT
SuspiciousPopsicle - 04/24/2017
awful bad endings aside
whassit mean about their type being rival?
firesonic152 - 04/24/2017
like. they start out as your rival
or apparently each other's rival lmao
then they get together XD
SuspiciousPopsicle - 04/24/2017
OH
OKAY
I GOTCHA
WELL HELL
XD
firesonic152 - 04/24/2017
IT'S A LITTLE
TOO ON POINT????
SuspiciousPopsicle - 04/24/2017
YEAH.
YEAH I DID NOTICE THAT.
firesonic152 - 04/24/2017
lmao overwatch au where everything is the same except it's done in the style of a dating sim
SuspiciousPopsicle - 04/24/2017
i don't know whether to be intrigued or horrified
tbh, all i can really think is OHSHC AU
XD
firesonic152 - 04/24/2017
AKJFNADKJFN
PLEASE
would that make gabe tamaki and jack haruhi or would it be the other way around
gabe is the overdramatic one
lmao and i can totally see jack being like "fuckdknakdsfjnadkfjn rich people >||(((((("
SuspiciousPopsicle - 04/24/2017
Gabe would ABSOLUTELY be Tamaki. Jack as Kyouya. For Haruhi...Maybe Jesse getting dragged in, and put Hanzo and Genji as the twins.
firesonic152 - 04/24/2017
LOL
SuspiciousPopsicle - 04/24/2017
Jack as the cold shadow leader. XD
firesonic152 - 04/24/2017
XDDDDDD
except in this version,,,,,,, tamaki ends up w kyouya
SuspiciousPopsicle - 04/24/2017
Rein as Mori. D.Va as Hunny.
firesonic152 - 04/24/2017
(lmao @ autocorrect valiantly trying to change tamaki into tamale bless u)
A VERY LOUD MORI
A VERY LOUD AND BOISTEROUS MORI
SuspiciousPopsicle - 04/24/2017
Well, it's not an exact match. XD
firesonic152 - 04/24/2017
XDDDDDDD
SuspiciousPopsicle - 04/24/2017
But Gabe in Tamaki's role ABSOLUTELY makes me think he'd be like in the rolls over and steals Jack's mic comic. XD
Ana as their crazy advisor girl?
Who the fuck would be Nekozawa? Junkrat?
shit now i wanna rewatch it XD
firesonic152 - 04/24/2017
XDDDDDDDD
lmao but can u imagine,,,,, they start this club before they're together and they get so unreasonably jealous,,,,,,,,,
SuspiciousPopsicle - 04/24/2017
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
firesonic152 - 04/24/2017
like jack wants to straight up Murder everyone fawning over gabe
SuspiciousPopsicle - 04/24/2017
HAD NOT CONSIDERED BUT LOVE IT
firesonic152 - 04/24/2017
and whenever someone requests jack they get very carefully Glared at by gabe
SuspiciousPopsicle - 04/24/2017
Jack gets more and more withdrawn into the actual work of running the club bc he doesn't wanna watch Gabe being so flirty with other ppl!!
firesonic152 - 04/24/2017
adjfnakdjfn
SuspiciousPopsicle - 04/24/2017
but he can't help watching anyhow
firesonic152 - 04/24/2017
wishing it was him gabe was seducing qoq
gabe is happy to let jack withdraw like that bc YAY it means not as many people can request him >:3
SuspiciousPopsicle - 04/24/2017
oh noes gabe it's a sign of problems ;; pls notice
firesonic152 - 04/24/2017
yeah QoQ
SuspiciousPopsicle - 04/24/2017
Unexpectedly, Jack actually gets MORE popular since it's rarer to be able to talk with him, and it's charming the way he lights up when he's hosting as opposed to being so serious when he's working.
So, does Gabe get Tamaki's flair for the dramatic, as well, so that he can do some acrobatic fucking pirouettes when he needs to insert himself into a situation involving Jack? XD
firesonic152 - 04/24/2017
AHAHAHA YES
kjfkakdjfadkfnadf
gabe gets so frustrated at the fact that jack can put on such a convincingly charming act for the customers when he's totally sour with gabe
(in reality this is just the fact that a) jack is frustrated at the fact that he's in love w gabe lmao but more importantly b) he is comfortable enough w gabe to not bother with an act)
SuspiciousPopsicle - 04/24/2017
He notices one day though that Jack's off his game. It's little tiny clues--a slight crease between his eyebrows, a brittleness in his smile, an air of distraction. He steps in and makes up some bullshit about needing Jack for something and drags him off somplace for a private word. Turns out Jack's sick--really bad migraine or something--so Gabe hustles him off to the infirmary and makes him lie down, then heads back to the club. And Jack is sick and tired and cold and just generally miserable because he thinks Gabe was so quick to pull him because the customers might notice and be unhappy, when actually Gabe was the ONLY one who had noticed and he was concerned.
firesonic152 - 04/24/2017
QOQ
jack protests it a lot out of spite and they argue qoq
SuspiciousPopsicle - 04/24/2017
Every other member of the club drops by to check on Jack, but Gabe doesn't come back. He's actually handling Jack's customers as well as his own, plus trying to do Jack's work with the club books or whatever because he thinks that's honestly important to Jack and doesn't realize it's little more than an excuse. All Jack knows is that the damn club they started is apparently more important to Gabe than he is.
firesonic152 - 04/24/2017
SOBS
jack decides maybe this isn't worth it. maybe he should just quit. try to forget about gabe.
SuspiciousPopsicle - 04/24/2017
:rose:Farewell to Jack! Is this the end of the Host Club?:rose:
firesonic152 - 04/24/2017
HAHAHA
the episode ends with jack in the infirmary bed pondering his feelings and whether or not he really wants to quit. cut to jack entering the host club, gabe looking up to greet him with a smile that quickly fades when he sees jack's serious expression. "gabe... there's something i need to tell you." CUT TO BLACK
SuspiciousPopsicle - 04/24/2017
NO THAT'S THE WORST XD
FUCKING CLIFFHANGERS
firesonic152 - 04/24/2017
XDDDDD
genji then excitedly talks about the preview with hanzo occasionally inputting his own opinion
SuspiciousPopsicle - 04/24/2017
The next episode opens with Jack's expression suddenly going all wobbly as he sags and presses a hand over his mouth. 'shouldn't have moved,' he manages. 'think i'm gonna puke'
firesonic152 - 04/24/2017
AHAHA
gabe is like DDDD: and swoops in to get jack to the bathroom before he can throw up on the floor
SuspiciousPopsicle - 04/24/2017
once Jack's steady again, Gabe asks what he was going to say, and Jack just snaps back at him 'Do you really think this is the time?'
The whole episode puts off what Jack had decided to say.
firesonic152 - 04/24/2017
HA
SuspiciousPopsicle - 04/24/2017
His migraine is worse than ever, Gabe has to take him home and put him to bed.
He stays and cooks something for Jack, the others show up and fuck around in Jack's house.
firesonic152 - 04/24/2017
it is a lighthearted episode that casually develops jesse and hanzo's romance on the side...... save for gabe's low-key moping
also jesse and hanzo's obvious flirtation serves as a reminder to gabe that he hasn't been honest about his feelings At All
SuspiciousPopsicle - 04/24/2017
The ep ends with Jack waking up and Gabe's there, dozing next to the bed. When Gabe hears him stirring, he wakes up and asks if Jack is okay. Jack says he's feeling better, and Gabe is like 'Good. There's something I need to tell you, too.'
firesonic152 - 04/24/2017
KDNFAJKSFD
SuspiciousPopsicle - 04/24/2017
and then the episode ends and the next one starts with some sort of emergency, junkrat setting the school on fire, probably
firesonic152 - 04/24/2017
OH MY GOD
i'M DYING HERE
IS IT ONE OF THOSE FILLER EPISODES WHERE THEY DO A RECAP OF EVERYTHING THAT'S HAPPENED IN THE SHOW SO FAR BC
SKIP
ofc jack ends up saying his piece about wanting to quit first
and gabe gets the wrong idea
and decides to swallow his feelings
jack is like "so what were you gonna tell me" and gabe is like "UHH,,,, I JUS,,,T,,,,,,,,,, MM,,,,,, WANTED YOUR OPINION ON,,,,,, THE NEW,,,, ART?? WE SHOULD PUT UP IN THE CLUB ROOM,,,,,,,,"
SuspiciousPopsicle - 04/24/2017
OH NOOOOOO
; ;
Jack actually quits, and over the next week, it seems like he's less grumpy in the time they have to spend together, but he also seems distant, somehow. They both mope around. ; ;
firesonic152 - 04/24/2017
QoQ
gabe is very rapidly losing his composure
THEN REIN GIVES HIM A LECTURE
:DDD
a VERY LOUD LECTURE about NOT BEING A COWARD and GETTING THOSE FEELINGS OUT ALREADY
SuspiciousPopsicle - 04/25/2017
X'D
OH! OHOHOH!!
WHAT IF JACK ACTUALLY GETS THE BALLS TO SHOW UP TO THE CLUB AND REQUEST GABE
LIKE
firesonic152 - 04/25/2017
KJDFNAKFDJADNF
SuspiciousPopsicle - 04/25/2017
RIGHT AFTER REINS LECTURE
AND GABE IS JUST
WAT
THIS IS...GOOD
firesonic152 - 04/25/2017
AHHHHHHHH
SuspiciousPopsicle - 04/25/2017
BUT SUDDEN
WHAT DO I DO?
WHAT DO I SAY????
ANd Jack is
fucking
RED AS A STRAWBERRY
firesonic152 - 04/25/2017
KJDNSFAKFN
SuspiciousPopsicle - 04/25/2017
and SO MAD that he ACTUALLY DID THIS
because GOD DAMMIT THIS IS EMBARRASSING
He's got his HEART on his fucking SLEEVE and Gabe is just SITTING THERE
SO the nerves get to jack, and he's like 'fuck it, i know a rejection when i see one'
and he books it outta there
firesonic152 - 04/25/2017
KJNDKJNFD
SuspiciousPopsicle - 04/25/2017
into that fuck off rose garden with the gazebos
yes
goddamn rich people and their fucking beautiful settings for dramatic confessions
firesonic152 - 04/25/2017
XDDDDDD
gabe is stunned for a sec but then rein is like GO AFTER HIM OMFG so he DOES
BUT JACK IS SO FAST
,,,,, AND WHAT IF,,,, earlier jack overheard rein's lecture (bc it was extremely loud) and he had thought he might have had a chance,,,,,, but when he booked it out of there he ran too fast and gabe lost him in the maze,,, gabe is actually standing right across from jack, but there is a hedge between them so he can't see,,,,,,, and then bc this is a shoujo and ridiculous shit has to happen someone else finds gabe there and like confesses to him, right where jack can hear it (and ofc gabe doesn't know he's right there),,,,,,,,,,,, and jack assumes that gabe's alleged feelings are for that other person,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,
SuspiciousPopsicle - 04/25/2017
OH NO WHY
firesonic152 - 04/25/2017
and jack leaves before he hears gabe reject the other person bc he has feelings for "someone else"
SuspiciousPopsicle - 04/25/2017
orz
firesonic152 - 04/25/2017
>:3c
SuspiciousPopsicle - 04/25/2017
YOU WERE TYPING FOR SO LONG AND I WAS ALL SET FOR A FREAK THUNDERSTORM TRAPPING THEM IN A GAZEBO TOGETHER FOR DRAMATIC CONFESSIONS AND HOT MAKEOUTS BUT NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
THIS IS WHY WE CAN'T HAVE NICE THINGS
firesonic152 - 04/25/2017
I'M SORRY I HAD TO BREAK IT AGAIN
IT'S A SHOUJO U HAVE TO DRAG THIS SHIT OUT FOR AS LONG AS POSSIBLE
SuspiciousPopsicle - 04/25/2017
FUCK THAT NOISE MY FAVE SHOUJO MANGA ENDED IN SEVEN SHORT VOLUMES
firesonic152 - 04/25/2017
XDDDDDDD
SuspiciousPopsicle - 04/25/2017
if you're gonna set up a misunderstanding like that, then Jack's gotta labor under it for at least a full episode, right?
firesonic152 - 04/25/2017
we can still have the freak thunderstorm lmao
XDDDD yep
SuspiciousPopsicle - 04/25/2017
so give him the start of the next day, waking up just rekt from having been unable to sleep the night before (and prolly crying into his pillow 'cause really) and he's dead on his feet and has circles like twin halves of a black hole under his eyes, but he drags his sorry carcas out of bed, gets dressed and ready, and of course because the fucker can't just go ahead without him ONE TIME, meets Gabe to walk to school. And Gabe immediately asks what happened, but Jack doesn't want to talk about it. So Gabe starts to say 'about yesterday--' but Jack Doesn't Want To Talk About It. So Jack's the picture of misery all day, and Gabe is shooting him worried glances through their classes, but by the end of hte school day, Jack has decided that he's got to man up and be Gabe's friend and support him. SO instead of waiting till after the club to walk home with Gabe, he just leaves so that Gabe can walk his crush home instead.
And of course, Gabe goes looking for Jack when he's not waiting, and has to hear from a classmate that Jack left already.
firesonic152 - 04/25/2017
CLUTCHES CHEST
SuspiciousPopsicle - 04/25/2017
And Gabe is just like 'fuck this. i'm gonna find out What The Hell is up with him.' So he legs it to Jack's house and bangs on the door till he gets a response, and Jack still looks like death warmed over, and he just kinda glares tiredly at Gabe and asks why he's there.
Gabe is in no mood to deal with this shit--the dirty looks and Jack's tone and the way he's not even inviting him inside, so Gabe is just 'So are we suddenly not friends anymore, 'cause I didn't get the memo about that.' and Jack is taken aback, because of course they're friends, he needs that much at least if he can't have everything. He gets mad pretty quick, though, 'cause he's trying his best, dammit, he's barely had a full day to come to terms with the fact that he has a fucking broken heart of all things.
firesonic152 - 04/25/2017
jsakfnaksjfnaskjfsjnfaf
SuspiciousPopsicle - 04/25/2017
So Jack just says 'I was staying out of your way, idiot. Don't you have someplace more important to be?'
'The hell I do! Not when you're acting like this! Not when you suddenly won't give me the time of day. I have something important to say to you, Jack, and you can slam the door in m face afterward if you want, but I'm damn well going to say it this time!'
And then the entire rest of the club shows up to check on Jack because he looked like he was Going To Die.
firesonic152 - 04/25/2017
OH MY GOD!!!!!!!!
SuspiciousPopsicle - 04/25/2017
The joke's worn thin at this point, so Gabe chases them all off, while Jack stands by, looking ill and considering closing the door and hiding. But Gabe pushes past him and shuts the rest of the world out, cornering Jack in the process. They're standing so close together that Jack can't tell if the heat on his face is from Gabe or because he's blushing or because he's about to have to fend off tears again. Gabe takes a deep breath, and just that is enough for his chest to brush against Jack's, and he lays it out. 'I like you, Jack. That's...that's what I wanted to say.'
They stand there in silence for a moment. Jack is gaping at him, not sure he heard right, almost sure he must be misunderstanding somehow. The silence gets to Gabe, and he fidgets nervously.
'I can leave, if you want. I just--Jesus, Jack, are you crying?'
'Huh?' Jack touches his face and, sure enough, he's started crying again. He rubs angrily at the tears and shoves past Gabriel into the house, muttering about how he's too fucking tired for this. Gabe follows him, concerned, feeling like that's a clear enough rejection, but wondering why Jack would reject him after requesting him in the club.
firesonic152 - 04/25/2017
JACK'S CRYING AND I'M CRYING
SuspiciousPopsicle - 04/25/2017
'Am I who you were talking to Rein about?' Jack demands.
Gabe goes red. 'You weren't supposed to hear that,' he mumbles.
'Am I or not??'
'...yeah. Liked you for a while now, Jackie. Didn't have the balls to say anything.'
Jack just stares at him for a moment, heaves a sigh, and drops down onto the couch, head in his hands. 'I'm an idiot,' he grumbles.
firesonic152 - 04/25/2017
AHHHHHH
SuspiciousPopsicle - 04/25/2017
'Well, sure, Jackie, but it's a simple question. You want me to go, or...?'
Jack looks up at him, glaring with red-rimmed eyes. 'Dont' you fucking dare leave.'
And Gabe's heart does a little flutter in his chest, because he's pretty sure he knows now how Jack feels, intense glare notwithstanding.
firesonic152 - 04/25/2017
kajnKJNkjnskjfnsakKJSDFNAKSDJNFKASJDNFASDF
I'M DYING
SuspiciousPopsicle - 04/25/2017
HOLY JEEZUS IT IS WAY LATER THAN I REALIZED
XD
firesonic152 - 04/25/2017
WAIT LET THEM SMOOCH FIRST
SuspiciousPopsicle - 04/25/2017
I gotta turn in
aaaaaaaaaaaah
smooches
firesonic152 - 04/25/2017
gabe is all flustered and has no idea what to do next until jack hisses at him to get his ass over to the couch and they make out
the end]
SuspiciousPopsicle - 04/25/2017
lol
firesonic152 - 04/25/2017
:heart:
SuspiciousPopsicle - 04/25/2017
what about
Gabe goes over to where Jack is sitting, and kneels down in front of him on the floor, looking up into his exhausted, angry, tear-streaked face.
'What are you grinning for?' Jack grouches.
'You like me, don't you?'
'Give the man a prize.'
Gabe laughs and leans in a bit closer, eyes bright and eager. He's itching to wipe away the last of Jack's tears, but he's pretty sure calling attention to them will get him punched. Instead, he asks: 'All right if I kiss you?'
Jack eyes him for a moment, then slides right off the couch into Gabe's arms, straddling Gabe's thighs as he wraps his arms around him for a kiss.
firesonic152 - 04/25/2017
AKJDFNASKDFJN I'M GONE
SuspiciousPopsicle - 04/25/2017
XD
all right, cool.
we got closure
i'mma get some sleep. Have a good rest of your evening. ^^
((the kiss is interrupted by flashes from the windows as the club members, who had all stayed to watch, take photos))
Night night. <3
firesonic152 - 04/25/2017
<333333333
good night <333333
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thoughts on 2015 - 31/12/2015
hey there. This is going to be a summary of 2015 or smth. Here it goes.
First of all, i’m crying lol. Last year I did something similar to this and I just read it and wow. Idr what stuff you had to put up 2014-deku but yo, it got slightly better.
This year I started studying Animation. I changed from Graphic Design because I realized it wasn’t what I wanted to do. It was p intense because it was a new start. Again. Luckily my first semester went smoothly. I learnt lots of stuff and got to do so many new things that have changed my goals in a v nice way. The first semester I also got a uh recognition ??? a like a diploma thing congratulating me for my grades from the previous semester and i was like woaah!! :O. In the ceremony I was recognized as Animation, not Graphic Design, even tho it had been bc of GD lol. There I met (more like jus briefly saw) a guy who also had gotten the diploma for animation, and we jus shared greetings and that was it.
That semester was okay. HA IT WASNT I JUS REMEMBERED. I got into trouble with some of my classmates. It’s a very small generation, like 24 people, and I was the new one, so ofc I’d get paired into teams with the people that nobody wanted to work with. I was so mad because of the mediocrity of the students, and i’m talking about 20-yo, full fledged adults, who couldn’t even do the simplest of things. So I got fed up and I remember I talked rly roughly at this guy in a class bc gdi he was awful. Luckily the rest of the class (who was present) supported me, telling me that the things I told him were things that they’ve meant to tell him and never had, so it was okay. Unfortunately it happened again and that time it wasnt as pretty as the last. I got paired w this girl who always cried when I talked to her (she always made herself a victim of her life and weird, negative stuff), and dear lorde pleas save me. When I finally went and talked to her bc she was doing literally NOTHING, the girl had the nerve to yell at me, in the middle of the classroom (which was fulled with my classmates and students from other generations), and leave. I was so confused and sad and mad at myself because I had done it again, fuck things up with teamwork. Long short story we’re okay now but I’m never doing something with her ever again in my life. My grades went down a lil but it wasnt that much, so I expected to be recognized again next semester.
oh boy.
SUMMER!!!!!111111 Woah. waaaaaaaah WHAT A SUMMER I HAD! This was SO FUN OH wait b4 summer I went into surgery again lmao. BUT I RECOVERED JUS FINE and im good yo. My bro went to Seattle to work with Microsoft bc he’s baddass and awesome and I was (and am) v happy for him but it also got me thinking a lot of things like what the fuck am I doing with my life. And here comes the reason I was cryin when I first started writing this. This summer I met wonderful, wonderful people. I made friends. FRIENDS. Friends that i hadn’t made in more than a year. It makes me fuzzy to think that I have such wonderful people by my side that i can laugh with, cry with, share things with, be deep with and be stupid with. I’m so happy I met you guys, I’ve grown so so so much since I’ve known you and as I told you yesterday, meeting you definitely has been one of the best things that have happened in my life.
I remember last year I cut my hair, really short. And I thought “if I turn out to be a lesbian, i’m blaming it on the haircut”. And guess what lmao. OKay maybe i’m not a lesbian but im deffo not straight either. I guess I knew I liked girls since highschool but didn’t bother to come up with a label untill now. I’m still finding out things about me and I have someone who keeps me company when I need em. WINKS ON U THANK FRIEND FOR LETTING ME RANT ABT MY THOUGHTS LMAO.
Then the second semester happened. I wasnt recognized as a top student this time. I was confused like lol, i’m gr9 wat hap. Turns out only the 1% of the student body of each degree gets the thing and oh surprise there are only 110 ppl in Animation. So boohoo the other mysterious boy got the diploma. And man was it a big blow. I was angry, angry as I could get. Obv not at the guy, at me. Because I had failed to myself, to my parents. Angry because I felt like an idiot, I couldn’t keep doing the thing that I excelled, being good at school. And I felt so angry because I was that. I was a top student, that was my main strength, and it was taken from me in a second.
One day my animation teacher separated me from the class and told me that I was the best animator from my generation. I am shit at animating, I know that. He knows that, and yet I am the best. That made me feel extremely uncomfortable, because that meant that I was the best, of the worst. It made me feel anxious, because that meant he had high expectations of me, being the best. Anxious because the best animator in the career was this guy who was recognized both last and this semester, and booooy. BOoooooooooooooy he’s a prodigy. A PRODIGY. He’s excellent and I am pure shit. From that day everything went downhill. BUT BEFORE THAT
Something good happened. I also made friends with prodigy boy. My first irl friend in more than 2 years. He turns out to be awesome and cool and so damn sincere and humble I can’t with his existence. We started talking thanks to a song, Somewhere beyond the sea. God bless that song, thanks to it I have now met an awesome human being yay. Turns out prodigy boy and I are very similar in many things, being angry at today’s society being the main one lmao. I have never met someone like him ever in my life. I respect him a lot and I want to remain as his friend for as long as I can. Sadly i’m very nervous around him because I’m very shy, I hope I dont mess this up like I did 4 years ago cries.
Back to shit. I was okay the first 2 terms but I just went pure shit on finals. For our animation course we had to enter a competition and I was very confident on my entry. Prodigy boy had landed in place #101, being the highest ever for an Animation student of my uni. I had high expectations of myself and everything was going to be alright, until it wasn’t. We presented our work a week before the deadline to our class, and I had a panic attack. I made a mess of myself and embarrassed me in front of everybody, I felt terrible and I cried a lot (thankfully in the bathroom). My entry was shit and I knew it and the teacher knew it and everybody did and the prodigy boy was there and he saw it and I’ve never been more embarrassed in my life I swear. It’s one of the worst experiences I’ve ever had. After that even tho I tried correcting my entry it was still shit and I crashed in place #142, being 5th of my class. And I was angry. So angry because I had failed. To myself, to the teacher, to the prodigy boy. To myself. I cried so much, like I had never before. My overall grades went down, again not so much but still. Turns out prodigy boy has a younger brother who’s as good as he is and it’s making me anxious. But whatever.
SO YEAH 2015 GOOD JOB. This year was bittersweet as fuck. I have learned so much, lost so much, gained so much, cried so much, laughed so much, EVERYTHING SO MUCH!?!?!. I’m just wah overwhelmed with everything that happened.
2016 DEKU: QUESTION TIME
How much did you fuck up? lmao
how did the short films went?
are you still friends with prodigy boy?
have you found yourself bc I failed miserably lmao
so yea das it tbh 2016 WATCH OUT OMG THE ZELDA GAME IS COMINGRIGHT U BETTTER HAVE BOUGHT IT ALREADY OR IMA PUNCH U HARD
- A
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