#I’m ignoring fandom drama unless there is actual harm being done

[thebadguyswinhere]

I feel like the sentiment of “why there aren’t any non problematic creators” is simply caused by there not being such a thing as a non problematic human being

Putting aside serious issues that cause actual harm because that’s not what I’m talking about, every person has their own biases, makes jokes some people will find offensive, is ignorant on some topics, may overreact, act out on emotion, overshare, miss social cues or word things poorly. A person may have some fetishes or preferences others find distasteful or say something that ages poorly. Humans are messy and complicated.

[bookofmirth]

I haven't read ACOSF yet, and tbh I'm rather rusty with the characters but it was really interesting to read your opinion on Elain! I feel there's a lot of complexity to her. And how she presents herself as well because as you said we literally have no chapters from hers or Lucien's POV and I think that's the important point to note because right now we're all just guessing and assuming her to be like Feyre, but she's not. People deal/show their traumas in different way and l think people expect Elain to deal with it as Feyre did. But, Feyres trauma and Elains are very different!

I don't really know what I'm saying. But I read your answer and it made me go 'oh... Huh!' in a good way, it sparked my curiosity! So thank you! But I think Elain perhaps is the most complex person with their trauma. I know people say 'oh Nesta is so different' but (I specialised in drama therapy so I love psycho analysis) and what Nesta did is self destructive to prevent relationships to avoid hurt or more emotions that she doesn't want to acknowledge (in my opinion!)

Elain just shuts down. She doesn't drink, she doesn't screw, she just remains in her garden which in itself says a lot! That's a very grounding way to handle trauma and not a lot of people are aware of that side!

So yeah I don't know what I'm saying but I think it's a really interesting discussion!

I have so many thoughts about Elain! This took me a few days to get to because i knew I had a crapton of thoughts. So this is basically me using this ask to explain the way I see Elain post-acosf!

There are three important scenes in acosf off the top of my head: when Elain talks with Nesta and they fight, and then with Nesta and Feyre and she gets mad and leaves, and then Feyre and Rhys talk about her in their chapter. We’re getting a lot more information about her, and for me, it wasn’t so much about who she is, but why we don’t know who she is.

So far, what we’ve had is Feyre’s and Nesta’s POV. Even when Feyre and Lucien tried to help her in acowar, they were unable. So we’ve never had anything about Elain from someone who didn’t grow up with her and experience the same trauma (such as becoming destitute, their mother’s death, their father being beaten, the Cauldron, etc.)

The sisters do handle it very, very differently. And I think that at this point the fandom consensus is that Elain runs away from her problems, but I actually disagree, and partly because of what you mentioned - that she isn’t using those self-harming, destructive coping mechanisms. Nesta was avoiding her problems, hardcore. It’s absolutely possible that Elain avoids things, but I don’t think that she just runs from all of her problems because:

Elain grieves her father. Openly. She tries to accept the fact that it wasn’t her fault and that she couldn’t do anything about it. (See: her going to his grave in acofas, her first talk with Nesta in acosf.) Elain does not run from her grief, she doesn’t pretend it doesn’t exist, and she doesn’t hide it from others. As one of the most defining events we’ve seen her go through in the series, that’s a pretty big deal.

Elain does not cling to unhealthy coping mechanisms. There could be ways that she does this that we are unaware of. She does seem like the type who would be really, really good at making people think she’s okay, all while she’s silently imploding. But we don’t know that yet?

Elain does not isolate herself. 

However, Elain definitely needs to deal with some stuff! She definitely needs to deal with Lucien, and she needs to have an actual talk with Nesta because I don’t remember a single satisfying resolution between those two in acosf. Not like Nesta had with Feyre. 

I have this idea that is purely based on Elain’s line in acosf:

“I went into the Cauldron, too, you know. And it captured me. And yet somehow, all you think of is what my trauma did to you.” (pg. 233)

And then Feyre tells Nesta that yes, Elain was right. 

This is so so so sossosososos important. I cannot emphasize it enough. Elain is used to putting on a fake, smiling face because she doesn’t want the weight of her sisters’ concern. She has been pretending to cope for so long - and tbf, she seems to have been doing better than Nesta - that people not only forget that she has suffered, but she doesn’t feel like she can even express that suffering.

Emotional labor often means negating one’s own feelings in order to acknowledge or tend to someone else’s. And that is Elain’s major role, in the series. Feyre has been caring for everyone’s physical wellbeing (hunting), while Elain’s role has been to care for everyone’s emotional wellbeing. But, like with most emotional labor, it has gone unnoticed.

I’ve made posts about emotional labor in the past (four years ago!!!!) but I’m gonna spare you the link because a lot of it was about a ship that’s no longer a ship, so here is the relevant content:

What I am talking about is the regulation of emotion - any time that you give comfort, are especially attentive to someone’s needs, stop thinking about how you feel in order to focus on how someone else feels, try to cheer someone up, make sure that they are taking care of themselves, try to allay their insecurities, etc. Basically, helping them with any sort of emotional distress.

You know those posts you’ve seen, about women protecting men’s egos constantly? Or about making time for self-care? Or about recognizing toxic relationships? That tell you “if X is being demanded of you in a relationship, get out”? Those are ALL about emotional labor, broadly speaking. They are warning you not to do more than you can handle, more than you need to do, because it can be harmful to you.

If you have ever been expected to make a person or people feel better any time you are around each other (including when they are angry, upset, anxious, ill, frustrated, insecure, etc.), you have performed emotional labor. Pretty much everyone has done this at some point, unless you are a completely insensitive jerk.

Notice, though, that I said expected to and any time you are around them – this is where the problem comes in for YOU. This is not about just being there for a friend.

Making loved ones feel better is fantastic. Seeing people be polite and kind to one another makes my heart shine. That is not a problem in and of itself. That can be seen as emotional labor, but there are no requirements on you in those circumstances. This is something you are doing of your own free will.

The problem, again, is when this is expected, constantly, over time. Now, in my experience, the expectation is not necessarily coming from the other person. One of the problems with this type of labor is that not only do others expect women to perform these tasks, but women expect it of themselves.

It’s super easy to see this – who is expected to take care of a child when they fall? Who is expected to baby-sit? Who did you want when you were sick as a child, mom or dad? Who is expected to be sensitive and pay attention to others’ emotions?

For more info on this idea specifically, read Of Woman Born by Adrienne Rich. As a woman, I realized how much work I had been performing and how much it was harming me and I just… got real upset. She comes at this mostly from what a woman’s role is expected to be within the family, and might actually be a bit outdated in that respect because I feel like family structures and dynamics are shifting (that is a totally un-academic evaluation of the situation, don’t quote me on that), but still, it’s really informative.

While I was doing some research for this post I came across a peer-reviewed article about nursing and basically, high amounts of emotional labor led to anxiety and burn-out in those performing it. It literally will cost your mental health – not to mention your time, energy, attention, and it often requires you to ignore your own needs (this last part came from me, not the article). On the other hand, high levels of emotional intelligence (being able to recognize your own and others’ emotional states) meant less emotional labor (and therefore less anxiety & burn-out). One of the most important things to realize is that while you are taking care of someone else’s emotional needs, your own are frequently unmet. That is why it’s important to recognize this in yourself, not just in these characters.

So where does Elain fit in? Elain is the #1 emotional labor provider of the family, and she is about to freaking SNAP. I know, because once I realized how my trauma was hidden in order to spare someone else its consequences, I fucking SNAPPEd. I’ll also spare you the personal details, but Elain hasn’t been “okay”. She hasn’t been “boring”, or “nice”, or “chosen” Feyre over Nesta. She has literally been unable to express herself because (and I am NOT blaming Nesta or Feyre or her father one bit) her family’s emotional state has been so fragile, there hasn’t been room for Elain to feel or express her emotions in years. 

In the feysand short, Rhys says:

I wonder if everyone has spent so long assuming Elain is sweet and innocent that she felt she had to be that way or else she’d disappoint you all.

And that completely tracks. Everyone has gotten used to Elain being not just “nice”, but being the emotionally predictable one. The one they know they can go to for a smile. The one they can count on for never, ever making them realize that she has been through Some Shit Too. And being that person is exhausting.

When Feyre thinks about Elain not using Lucien’s gloves, 1) she still has them, otherwise she couldn’t think about Elain not using them, and 2) I like to see the gloves as something that she will come to use, once she realizes that she can feel and express those emotions without it causing a breakdown in the family. Right now, she just wants to feel. And she can’t do that emotionally, so she’s doing it physically. Once she heals and finds a better balance, she won’t need to resort to physical pain. (Which, lowkey has me thinking some other thoughts, but.... maybe later.) But anyway, once Elain does go through her very own special journey, I fully expect her to welcome those gloves. She won’t need physical pain to feel anymore.

Not to mention my completely unacademic and non-professional opinion that people will judge a nice women harshly for being rude once, but accept a woman with a history of rudeness for just “being that way”. It’s another way that Elain may feel trapped in her “nice girl” persona. I think she started out that way - kindness and light and generosity is 100% in Elain’s character in the first place. It’s not as if she went into the Court of Nightmares and suddenly Cassian thought, “wait, she fits right in to this shithole of depravity”. No, he still thought the literal opposite. It’s just that once people get used to you doing all their emotional labor, they will continue to take advantage of it, even if they don’t realize its cost.

[jacepens]

1: HamilTurn(you can differentiate if needed) or MCU, 2: Washette, 3: Anna Strong

And generally a fandom list would be nice to know what to pick from ;) (Love you♡)

You said HamilTurn or MCU and I say both, I'm going to try my best haha. But anyway, thank you!:) Apologies in advance if this gets rambly, but that's the point of this right? Anyway, for ease of scrolling sake, I'll probably put a cut if this gets long but don't worry, it's just me talking a whole bunch lol. Ok, thank you again!! <3 (love you too!)

1. Hamilton/Turn (fandom)

Favorite character: I have to say Lafayette for both. Oh and Mary

Least favorite character: I have no real reason behind this so sorry but Burr, and Simcoe for many reasons

5 favorite ships: washette, lams, hamliza, benwash, whamilton

Character I find most attractive: ...all. But I have to say overall Brian Wiles as Lafayette. That face just…🥺

Character I would marry: Mary Woodhull or Eliza

Character I would be best friends with: you know I'm not sure, but in an ideal world Lafayette (both versions) or Ben but I feel like we wouldn't be best friends. But also everyone, is that an option? Even some of the "villains" would have good stories to tell

A random thought: I feel like most people in the fandom now are so new (they joined in with the movie release!) and unaware of the uh atrocities of back in the day. And y'all are lucky, but those of us who know. Know. (yes, I was unbearable but that's ok because I was having fun, and despite what I just said: have fun in your fandoms even if you're "unbearable", just keep it welcome to all and enjoy the enthusiasm you have for it:))

An unpopular opinion: Oh boy. Maybe stop making quick judgments about people based on what they write/who they ship? There is a line, but I've genuinely never seen it crossed by anyone at least openly sooo just let people have fun? And don't say anything about something? Unless it's actually harmful but even then, keep it to a dm or something and have an open discussion. Just let people vibe, please? Especially younger fans. Just, I’ve seen a weird amount of negativity towards them. They’re kids having fun, we all used to be like that so please, be kind and patient. They’ll learn if they make a mistake. Ok? Ok cool:) (maybe not unpopular but still I wanted to say it)

My canon OTP: Am I allowed to say lams?

My non-canon OTP: washette, wow, who would've guessed? xD

Most badass character: Mary my beloved

Most epic villain: Robert Rogers hands down

Pairing I am not a fan of: no one murder me, but in general I'm just not a fan of jamilton. also whatever was the deal with Anna and Abe

Characters I feel the writers screwed up (in one way or another): um. Where to begin? Honestly I think every woman in Turn at one point or another, except perhaps Peggy in my opinion. Oh but especially Anna. Also Simcoe. With Hamilton, probably again everyone at some point, but the way Angelica was written just feels so overwhelmingly fictional it bugs me. (But at least Hamilton had some genuine relationships between women, not great but still)

Favorite friendship(s): Ben and Caleb, Washington and Lafayette (what?? yes, you fools. lol). It may sound a tad ~cringey~ but I generally like Hamilton's vibe with the boys, maybe it's just the gender envy, but it's kinda cute and fun.

Character I most identify with: well jeez, I won't lie but Washington. In both versions, except god knows I could never be that chill. Also a dash of Laurens.

Character I wish I could be: wow what a loaded question ummm. I don't want to be like him, but I want to be like in his position so Hamilton lol. Playing an active role but I know personally I am not cut out for a battlefield, so a desk suits me well.

2. MCU (fandom-that I am so out of date from, please take all of this with a grain of salt)

Favorite character: so when I was younger it was Tony Stark but now it’s definitely Wanda and T’challa

Least favorite character: ummm. I genuinely couldn’t tell you, I’m very out of date

5 favorite ships (canon or non-canon): wandavision, …ngl I can’t think of anymore, I honestly never shipped many and wandavision was like the only couple I remember really liking. Oh, I don’t know them but Loki/Mobius and/or Sylvie

Character I find most attractive: embarrassing confession time, Loki was my first bad celebrity crush. Wanda now and Shuri is cute. Also Sylvie

Character I would marry: if I could, Wanda 

Character I would be best friends with: Vision and Peter Parker

A random thought: y’all it’s been so long since I’ve touched MCU I should catch up/refresh shouldn’t I?

An unpopular opinion: I don’t know if this is an unpopular opinion but I’m going to say it anyway. Personally, I really don’t like the movie Civil War, I think it’s what sorta made me disinterested in mcu. It’s been years since I’ve watched it so maybe I would have a completely different opinion if I saw it today, but at the time it just felt so...wrong? And childish? I literally don’t even remember why they were fighting or how that movie even ended (I feel like it just wasn’t satisfying??) but I think also, as a kid or teen watching that, it reminded me sooo much of the dumb drama that, you know, kids get into. I mean, getting your friends on someone’s side like that?? Like, I know they were mad but- but there are other ways of dealing with emotions??? And involving everyone's friends too? So yeah, it just felt off to me at the time, and looking back now, from what I remember, it just frustrated me. Especially as a kid who deals with dumb drama like that all the time, kids would want to see a better example especially from adult superheroes or at least not be reminded of the bs they have to go through sometimes. But, rant over, that’s all just my opinion:) 

My canon OTP: wandavision

My non-canon OTP: ummm. I guess just Loki/Mobius and/or Sylvie lol

Most badass character: I have to say Natasha but actually there are many

Most epic villain: when I was younger I liked that Ultron was voiced by Robert California from the Office lol

Pairing I am not a fan of: I don’t know if it’s popular but I never liked Tony and Pepper. What happened with her?

Characters I feel the writers screwed up: I guess I’ll say Thor because I just felt such a weird difference in his personality that did not make sense to me

Favorite friendship: Wanda and Pietro!! Honestly I think a lot, there were a lot of good friendships but I can’t think of which ones are my favorite

Character I most identify with: ummmmmm. 

Character I wish I could be: My gut says Thor

3. Washette (ship-bless you<3 get ready for rambles oh no)

When I started shipping them: So I first had the thought in 7th grade while my history teacher was talking about them and my little brain went: haha that’s pretty gay. (teacher keeps talking about them) wait a fucking minute, that is pretty gay! But it wasn’t until I got sucked into Hamilton that I really started actively shipping them by reading fics and what not, but something about them became an instant favorite. And later (little personal story time) I pretty much completely stopped reading fic and being active in fandom for years and actually, when I got my first panic attack that - no joke - lasted for 5 hours, for some reason my brain (as it’s decaying lol) said I want to go and reread all my favorite washette fics and also do what I was I always too scared to do. Write!! So that night I binged the fics and found myself falling in love again, feeling all the old passion I had for them again, and the next night (still very shaken) I wrote an outline of a good ol washette confession + kiss that was extremely thoughtful and good, and honestly, I have not actually used that outline yet! Maybe I’m saving it. But yeah, this is a long answer, but I have a weird amount of attachment to them and this ship, I wish I knew why too. <3 

My thoughts: so many. Too many. First of all, I love that I have so many versions of them in my mind, right? When I started writing, I had never watched Turn but then I did and then it was like: hell yeah, another washette set. At this point, my brain has created it’s own unique version of them but it’s like, they’re so versatile! That’s one neat thing about this fandom as a whole, we get more than one character and personality and that’s just fun right?! More specifically on washette I mean, they’re just so sweet. Historically, their relationship is unique and cute, and you’d have to be a fool to think that to Washington Lafayette was just another friend. Even strictly platonically, it was something special and it’s so obvious I just love them. Ok. Enough thoughts for now <3

What makes me happy about them: the loooove, the comfort they found in each other, the fact that like every person at the time documenting them knew and understood they were special to each other like, they were just that in love. 

What makes me sad about them: oh so much that I try to ignore lol. There is the one year when Lafayette went to France and all his letters to Wash are like: “I have not received one letter from you, but it’s ok, I love you and I know you love me too :)” WHO WAS NOT DELIVERING THESE LETTERS, I HAVE NAMES, NOW I WANT ANSWERS. Anyway, also just most things that happened when Laf went back to France. And then when he visited America in 1824 and visited Washington’s grave. Yeah. ow. (also, you know what, I have done too much research on this event. lmk if you would like a post)

Things done in fanfic that annoy me: Generally, I’m not annoyed by much in fanfic at least with them and what I’ve seen. I’m still nostalgic for the old school nonbinary Laf fics, so it ain’t those. Literally maybe it’s because I’m starved for content but I can’t really think of anything, I love it all.

Things I look for in fanfic: back to the whole starved for content thing, I am a library of washette fics but I think if I was to pick a certain thing that I would love it’s just um fluff? And honesty, if that makes sense. Love confessions are very good as well. Canon era, please :) pining but not too much that it hurts me lol

My wishlist: literally all my wips. If I could whisk them into existence I could die happy and knowing I have put a variety of washette content in the world. Something else though, more fics :’) I love writing but sometimes I want to curl up with a cozy, new washette fic like a cup of hot chocolate and be surprised and learn something new and just..yeah:)

Who I’d be comfortable them ending up with, if not each other: what. Ok but actually, Martha and Adrienne because they are both honestly perfect for them and I love them too (I’m going to be biased, especially Adrienne)

My happily ever after for them: Can Lafayette just move the family to America? But also, it’s sad, but like I know Laf would be sad in America while France suffers. So...maybe a world where things in France go better and Lafayette gets to visit Washington more often and bring the family!! (Washington visit France too??)

4. Anna Strong (character)

How I feel about this character: I like her! She’s fun and…strong (oops lol) and she’s made some mistakes sure, but I feel like she did her best to learn from them and move on

Any/all the people I ship romantically with this character: Honestly, I know they didn’t have a lot of interaction in the show but Anna/Mary has potential. And Anna/Edmund

My favorite non-romantic relationship for this character: her and Ben and Caleb

My unpopular opinion about this character: I really can’t think of anything unpopular

One thing I wish would happen / had happened with this character in canon: in general, her having more screen time with less men you know? I mean like one-on-one kind of scenes. Also I would’ve liked to see at least her and Selah talk. Like, really talk. They never really did that, right? I just have so many questions about them

Favorite friendship for this character: Anna and Ben

My crossover ship: I have no idea

And well, I know it’s been a few days but for a fandom list, I’m just a weeb lol but here

Octopath Traveler (my beloved)

Fire Emblem: Three Houses

Star Wars

Natasha, Pierre and the Great Comet of 1812

Persona 4

Zelda (to a point)

Pokémon

What We Do in the Shadows

Sailor Moon

Literally anything historical

Ok!! I tried to add a lot because I’m not sure what you might know or not haha. But thank you again!! I had fun <3

[lostinthewinterwood]

Chocolate Box Letter 2020

Dear Chocolatier…

  Thank you for writing for me!  I hope you find inspiration, if you need it, somewhere in this letter, but either way, good luck with your writing!

(some of the prompts are… rambly and disjointed; the lengths vary wildly, but dw I love them all.  I hope the rambly ones still make sense; this letter is uhhh almost 3k and my brain is Tired.)

General DNWs:

Rape/non/dub-con; non-canonical major character death*; smut/graphic sex scenes; heavy angst; hurt no comfort; graphic depictions of deliberate and methodical self-harm**; graphic depictions of suicide;  gore; heavy gender dysphoria; grimdark; complete downer endings; character bashing; incest; cringe comedy; a/b/o; mpreg; full setting AUs (canon-divergence, even significant canon-divergence, is fine); graphic eye trauma; graphic and/or permanent hand trauma (unless the setting can provide a more-or-less fully functional prosthetic or equivalent); issuefic.

*exceptions noted below.

**I don’t include things like, say, punching a wall in a fit of emotion under this. however, something like cutting would not be appreciated.

  General Likes:

I like family/friendship stories, things that play with canon in interesting ways, honestly… a lot of things.  I don’t know. articulating things I like is hard.

I’m an absolute sucker for identity porn/secret/mistaken identity drama, as well as non-sexualized/non-fetishized crossdressing (either direction, and especially if for plot-relevant disguise purposes!) and if you combine them, well, I’ll be a very happy camper.

Other things I like include wriggling into canon and exploring something left unexplored by said canon, what-if stories featuring some sort of canon divergence, and plotty fic, if you want to write something long enough for that to be relevant.

  Order of fandoms:

��        Star Wars Sequel Trilogy

·        Super Powereds – Drew Hayes

·        Tortall – Tamora Pierce

·        Carmen Sandiego (Cartoon 2019)

·        The Dragon Prince (Cartoon)

·        Frozen (Disney Movies)

·        Little Women (2019)

·        Original Prompts

·        Crossovers

    Star Wars Sequel Trilogy

Rey & Ben Solo | Kylo Ren (Star Wars Sequel Trilogy)

So uh I may be having a slight case of Feels™ over these two, though tbh I’m not entirely sure what those feelings are exactly.  I don’t know what exactly I’d most want, though I’d be interested in explorations of their evolving emotions in relation to each other, especially through Kylo Ren/Ben’s whole death/rebirth thing.  What-ifs are another thing; what if, say, Ben didn’t die?  What happens, then, since they’d have to actually deal with what he’s done?  Feel free to retcon the kiss (which I thought was rather devoid of chemistry; in general their dynamic came across to me more as weirdly sibling-ish, especially after the Death Star duel) to a hug or something, if you want.

If you want to go to a lighter place, I can also see all sorts of shenanigans emerging after they discover their Force-teleportation skills.

Also feel free to retcon Rey’s parentage, if that is where your heart takes you: might she be Luke’s secret child?  Leia’s?  A descendant of Obi-Wan Kenobi and, say, Satine Kryze?

Apart from that I’d prefer no full-setting AUs; canon divergence is fine, and if you go that route you can pick a divergence point as far back as you want.

Feel free to include whatever other characters are necessary for the story you want to tell.

(And also do keep in mind that you can absolutely cut off someone’s hand here, or for the Star Wars crossover farther down; in this franchise it is a goddamn motif.)

    Super Powereds – Drew Hayes

Adam Riley & George Russel | Relentless Steel (Super Powereds)

I’m utterly fascinated by the relationship these two have; the interplay of Adam’s… vendetta, maybe?  I’m not sure what the right word for it is… and the fact that George also serves him as a mentor/almost-parental, in some ways, figure.  And, you know, that Adam (maybe) kills him.  We don’t actually see that; for all we know he made a different choice.

Consider this an exception to my “non-canonical MCD” DNW, since it’s deliberately ambiguous in canon; you can kill George, if that’s where your muse takes you.

  Alice Adair | Legacy & Vince Reynolds | Jack of All (Super Powereds)

Their friendship/cousin relationship is Wholesome and I love it.  Any point in the timeline, post-canon, all of it is Good and Welcome.  Do they form a legacy children/villains’ kids club? They’re secret cousins; untangling the mess that is the past; so much juicy juicy stuff to work with!!

  Phillip Adair | Globe & Charles Adair | Alchemist (Super Powereds)

Brother vs brother! O the drama! But also, they grew up together; they were once best friends; and Charles grew hard and it all fell apart—give me their childhood, maybe, or HCP years or young heroes before Shelby’s powers grew too much for her, or lean into the tragedy of what comes later…

    Tortall – Tamora Pierce

Numair Salmalín | Arram Draper & Varice Kingsford (Tortall)

Numair Salmalín | Arram Draper & Varice Kingsford & Ozorne Muhassin Tasikhe (Tortall)

Ozorne Muhassin Tasikhe & Numair Salmalín | Arram Draper (Tortall)

Varice Kingsford & Ozorne Muhassin Tasikhe (Tortall)

I love these kids, okay?  And I wish they could all just… be okay.  But of course they won’t be; we already know what becomes of them, after all.

There’s a lot to explore here, with these three in their varying combinations of course.  Right now I’m most interested in the pre-Wild Magic timeline—what was Varice and Ozorne’s dynamic before Arram came along? what little snippets of things happen offscreen during the timeline of Tempests and Slaughter? how does Arram gain his black robe; how does Ozorne feel about that? Varice? how does Numair end up in exile, and how do the others feel about that whole affair?—but really I’d also be interested in something set during or around the time of Emperor Mage, from any of their POVs.  We get all the story there from Daine, who is great! but she doesn’t know the history between the three of them, not intimately as they do, and I’d love any of their emotional reactions to being together again under such strained circumstances, so many years after everything fell apart.

  Numair Salmalín & Myles of Olau (Tortall)

He was on a mission, was he not, when he became that hawk at the beginning of Wild Magic?  (please ignore if I am Wrong there.)  So how did they meet?  Why did Numair become an agent?  All sorts of questions, here…

  Prince Stiloit Tasikhe & Varice Kingsford (Tortall - Pierce)

Stiloit seems so… calm, and level-headed, especially when compared with Ozorne who is not.  And he clearly finds Varice interesting, and her company valuable.  So maybe tell me something about that—what does he think of her?  She of him?  What if, perhaps, he didn’t die when he does?

  Keladry of Mindelan & Nealan of Queenscove (Tortall)

They have a BEAUTIFUL FRIENDSHIP and also ye gods when I reread First Test at like 19 (having first read it at 10) I was struck by how very, very fifteen Neal is in that book and it’s hilarious.  But more seriously—Neal’s PoV on things would be fantastic, since we only see him through Kel’s eyes and he doesn’t let her see everything about himself.

  Keladry of Mindelan & Raoul of Goldenlake and Malorie's Peak (Tortall - Pierce)

What a beautiful mentorship relationship, I love them.  Also, how does Raoul feel about this open girl page?  Who’s so determined, and has such potential in how she could become more, in an area he knows about (that being military command)—how does he feel about her, living her best life; how does he contextualize it in his intimate knowledge that Alanna could not do what she is doing—and yet it was Alanna, with her deception, who allowed this to be.

  Alanna of Pirate's Swoop and Olau & Numair Salmalín

The renowned lady knight-healer-mage and the black robe on the run from Carthak! How did they meet, anyway?  They’re something like the same age, I think, or at least he’s no more than ten years her junior.

  Alanna of Pirate's Swoop and Olau & Thom of Trebond (Tortall - Pierce)

My poor Important Destiny Twins… Look I just, I want some content with poor Thom, right?  I’d rather here that we set the story before his death, or that we make it an AU where he gets to live.

    Carmen Sandiego (Cartoon 2019)

Shadowsan & Hideo (Carmen Sandiego 2019)

There’s… so little of this stated or shown overtly, really, but I’m fascinated.  I can’t get over it.  Just tell me about the brothers, please.

    The Dragon Prince (Cartoon)

Runaan/Ethari & Rayla (The Dragon Prince)

Family fluff!  Or angst!  Or turn round and give them a reunion!  All depends on where in the timeline you pick, really.

(there’s a fic on ao3 with the tag “this fanfiction written by the ETHARI LOOK IN THE FUCKING WATER gang” and honestly that is just such a mood.)

  Amaya & Sarai (The Dragon Prince)

…I don’t have much to say here really, just that I love me some sibling dynamics.

  Callum & Ezran (The Dragon Prince)

A king by birthright, a prince only by adoption, who by age/maturity would probably be better-suited to ruling… look idk just, bros okay???

Maybe something when they were younger, or canon-era, or… idk I love them.

  Callum & Ezran & Rayla (The Dragon Prince)

Friendship! Angst! The gang’s all here!  If you want you can include rayllum but for this prompt at least I’d rather it be lowkey.

  Claudia & Soren (The Dragon Prince)

I am heartbroken over these kids and just—I need more content with them.  Even if it makes me sad.

  Callum & King Harrow (The Dragon Prince)

There are a lot of complicated feelings I have about them—how clearly Harrow loves his stepson, and how even after more than a decade, Callum still isn’t quite comfortable with his stepfather.

    Frozen (Disney Movies)

Agnarr/Iduna (Frozen)

How did they get together?  Why does Iduna stay with Agnarr; why doesn’t she just go home?  How does that revelation conversation go—when does it happen?  How do they come to decide to block Elsa’s powers; when/how do they decide to sail for Ahtohallan?

  Kristoff & Ryder Nattura (Frozen)

Reindeer bros!!  What did Kristoff do while Anna and Elsa were off doing the plot stuff?  Does he go with the Northuldra?  I love the dynamic between these two; it’s adorable and there’s so painfully little of it.

  Yelena & Mattias (Frozen)

So clearly they know each other, right? It’s been thirty-four years, and they clearly have some sort of sniping thing going on but they don’t seem to be actively antagonistic towards each other.  How do they feel about each other, really? How have they interacted in the past?  Is there anything there?  What about after Mattias goes back to Arendelle?

  Anna & Elsa (Frozen)

There is just.  There’s a profound tragedy here—they’re best of friends till they’re five and eight or so, then they don’t interact for thirteen years, they have three years together, and then they go off together to the Enchanted Forest and Elsa doesn’t come back to live in Arendelle, while Anna must return… I don’t know.  Tell me about that, maybe.  Or give me sweet fluff about them as children.  Or something.

  Anna/Kristoff (Frozen)

They’re adorable and I love them and I really just want more.  Maybe something from between the movies—how do they navigate forming a relationship, when he was raised by trolls and she’s been so isolated?

    Little Women (2019)

Amy March/Theodore Laurence (Little Women 2019)

…I don’t know, they’re cute, Laurie is a disaster, I love seeing Amy grow up, I hunger for moar content with them.

  Beth March & Mr. Laurence (Little Women 2019)

This has a lot of potential for cute/sad father/daughter dynamics, I think!  And I’d love more of it.

  Friedrich Bhaer & Josephine March (Little Women 2019)

Friedrich Bhaer/Josephine March (Little Women 2019)

I just want cute content with Jo and her dynamic with this man who actually respects her and her writing okay?  Maybe something like, I don’t know, navigation of boundaries around Jo’s writing and his criticism thereof… I don’t know.  Have fun with them.  And I really don’t care if it’s shipfic or not.

  Theodore "Laurie" Laurence & Josephine March (Little Women 2019)

Theodore Laurence & Josephine March (Little Women 2019)

Laurie is still a disaster but I love him anyway, and their friendship is sweet, and I need more content™.

    Original Prompts

In general: I’m not super picky about how shippy the shipfic gets; most of the ship prompts here would, I think, work as well for gen, excepting the suitor and the princess (which is not to say I’m asking that it be gen, obviously I’m not, but if your muse takes you that direction then go for it).  Likes I put up top still apply down here.

In terms of settings, I especially like high fantasy, space fantasy, or, if relevant, Classic Superhero City Setting, but I’m open to just about anything.

I’m also not tremendously picky about the genders of the characters involved; if it isn’t stated within the prompt, go wild, but please do stick to standard English pronouns; I have a lot of difficulty reading things with neopronouns.

Most of these pairings are prompts in and of themselves, but I’ll add in some bits of commentary for each one.

  Disgraced Vampire Queen Moonlighting As A Barista/Exhausted Vampire Hunter In Search Of Caffeine

Okay, so I just think this has great potential for absolute hilarity, and identity shenanigans aplenty.

  Dragon & Human Child (Original Work)

I love dragons.  I love playing with dragon-lore, though here I’d appreciate it being a relationship wherein the dragon is not evil, at least not to the child.

  Female Crossdressing General/Female Crossdressing Enemy General (Original Work)

So uh from my general likes, it should be… fairly obvious what called to me here lmao.  But there’s such potential here!  The drama!  Do they know each others’ real gender?  Do they know that they’re on opposing sides?  How does this romance across the battlefield work?  Is it even across the battlefield—are they at war, or just generally enemies?

  Female Failed Chosen One & Female New Chosen One

Such delicious depths to delve here… why did the first one fail?  What’s her relationship with her successor?  What have they been chosen for?  The setup of this makes me think that the failed chosen one is an adult of some age that’s distinctly older than the new one, who I’ve been imagining as an older child or young adult, but you should follow your muse there.

  Female Ship's Captain & Grumpy Stowaway Orphan Rebel

What kind of ship are they on, anyway?  Sailing ship?  Spaceship?  What’s the orphan rebelling against—an Evil Empire?  The Man?  Something else?

  Female Suitor Sent As An Insult To Ruling Monarchs/Princess Uninterested In Male Suitors

This seems like… I don’t know, there’s just such potential for dancing around each other and Misunderstandings™ about what’s going on.  Is this the princess’s Gay Awakening?  Has she known for a while why she’s not into the male suitors?  Why was this female suitor selected for the insult?

  Injured Male Superhero/Male Supervillain Who Saves His Life

I love superhero identity shenanigans, and ambiguous morals, and I’d love to dive into the emotional turmoil that results from this rescue decision—why does the supervillain do it?  How does the hero feel about being saved by his enemy?

  Musician/Dancer with magical powers (Original Work)

Another trope I love that I didn’t mention before is magic music and magical arts in general, so this here is right up my alley.

  Portal Fantasy Protagonist & Their Mentor In A Trade Useful In Both Worlds (Original Work)

…Look, idk man this is just sweet and wholesome and I Want.

  Retired Male Superhero/Male Supervillain Who Keeps Seeking Him Out Because He Misses Him

Is this not just the plot of Megamind?  In all seriousness, though, I feel about the same here as I do in the injury situation; I love me some hero/villain dynamics in general.

  Witch & Witch's Apprentice

Mentor and student!  Always a fun time.  I’m picturing this as some pseudo-historical or straight alternate-world setting more than modern, but follow your muse here.

  Wounded Werewolf/Female Apprentice Witch who Begrudgingly Rescues him (OW)

Honestly I feel like the dynamic here will probably scratch the same itch that the hero/villain pairings do.  Clearly I have a Type.

    Crossovers

Oliver Queen (DC's Arrowverse) & Matt Murdock (Daredevil(TV))

Local Vigilante Man With Many Issues Meets Counterpart From Another Universe would be the headline here, probably.  I don’t know.  I think they’d be fun to bounce off each other.

For reference though I haven’t watched all of either show: I’ve seen the first four seasons of Arrow in their entirety and some of what comes later, and I’ve seen the first two seasons of Daredevil.  You can reference later events, I’m not currently really following either show and am not particularly worried about spoilers, but without some degree of context I’ll be fairly lost.

  Shmi Skywalker (SWPT) & Ben Solo | Kylo Ren (SWST)

How do these two meet?  Is it time travel nonsense?  Shmi as a Force ghost?  Both of them in the afterlife?  And if it’s before Ben’s redemption but after his Fall, I do rather hope she’s Disappointed™ in him.

  Vince Reynolds | Jack of All (Super Powereds) & Midoriya Izuku (My Hero Academia)

Look.  Look.  All I have ever wanted since I started watching My Hero Academia (which… I haven’t seen much of, but don’t worry about spoilers I legitimately do not care) is to see Vince meet with the character who I immediately internally dubbed tiny green Vince.  How did this happen? Frankly I neither know nor care.  I just want to see it happen.

Thank you for writing me fic!!

[thisselflovecamebacktome]

Reputation (almost) 3 months later thoughts.

For those of you who have missed the other posts of these, I’m basically mapping out my every thought on the album and songs as time passes to compare with 1989 which I overhyped only to admit a few months after that it wasn’t that great. I’ve done one the day Reputation was released, along with one and two months thought posts and plan to do this one, a seven month one (the tour starts just before then if you’re wondering why I’m doing it at seven months over six months), a one year one and dependant on if TS7 comes out in 2019 or not, a two year or one week before TS7 one. Idealistically I would be doing this post right on three months, but with university starting up again on the 12th, I found it best to do it now while I have the time to fully go into everything. So with that in mind, lets get into it.

Album as a whole + Grammys drama: I’m going to be honest, I don’t listen to this album from start to end anymore. Like with the exception of End Game and Look What You Made Me Do, I listen to all the songs individually all the time, but I just don’t find myself inclined to sit down and listen to it in “order” (I’ve mentioned in pasts posts how I feel the order of the songs is wrong for the story she’s trying to tell) anymore. I also feel like so many people objectively do not get this album, including a lot of fans. Like so many people have looked at the surface of certain songs (So It Goes, Delicate and Gorgeous are the main ones to come to mind) and made judgements and feelings off that, most of which completely contradict what the song is actually saying. Some of it even feels deliberate to copy the harmful mindset of “Taylor’s only ever happy now!!!!” that the 1989 era had which is extremely frustrating. As a somewhat related side note, all your alcoholism jokes you make about this album are not funny. They are disrespectful and even if they weren’t, are just cringey, so if that could stop, I for one would be happy. In saying all of this, so far Reputation along with What If Nothing by Walk The Moon would still be my top picks for album of the year at next year’s grammys. I say so far because there was a good month or so where I thought Divide was album of the year last period and look how quickly that changed when Melodrama came out. But here’s where part of my issue lays with the grammys scapegoating Taylor like they did (along with the obviously bigger issue of sexism/racism shown with the “step up” comment and lack of diverse winners this year). Reputation deserves to win awards on its own and I truly believe it would have regardless, but now I’m just going to be guessing how much of it is legitimate and how much was the grammys “fixing” a problem they created, and that’s just a shitty feeling to be honest.

Ready For It: I know we’ve seen live performances of this song already, but I’m still so excited to see this live. Like I still legitimately adore this song and listen to it at least daily. And I mean it’s going to be hype as hell on tour as the opener.

End Game: My one regret on not holding off on the two month post? The music video for this dropped like a day later. I mean I don’t have much to say, but I would have rather it just all go in one post seeing as I haven’t listened to the song outside that all month. Long story short, the video was lacklustre. Basically just the 22 video with more special effects and less relatability.... Not that I’m surprised. That’s all Joseph Khan seems to know how to do. I mean every video this era has basically just copied one of Taylor’s old ones idea wise and added more special effects. I stand by the fact that this means that even without the crappy stuff he’s done, musically he should have been left behind with the 1989 era. Hopefully the fans pick up on his reused tricks soon and stop watching the music videos so Taylor gets the hint, but I doubt it. All up, the only worthwhile moments for me in the video was Sweeran, the animals and the rainbow dress. Hell, as much as I don’t like her, I’m kinda sad Katy wasn’t in the video now, because along with killing their stupid feud, at least it would have been a moment of surprise and interest in the video, even if only temporary.

I Did Something Bad: So the most interaction I have had with this song this month is Swifties using the first line with that attention seeking picture Kim put up and really all I gotta say is why? Why give her the time of day? I mean do you really think that she’d be doing shit like that if it didn’t get a reaction? Just ignore her to be honest. Taylor’s learned to do that, it’s about time we did too.

Don’t Blame Me: The more I listen to this song, the more I realise that it’s probably not going to be the aerial act on tour and Look What You Made Me Do is and the more I get sad. That’s really all I have to say about it.

Delicate: As I mentioned earlier, people misinterpret this song so badly. Like they see some of the anxiety but brush it off as a cute song about being in that grey area between friends and a relationship. This song is not meant to be cute. It’s extremely sad and filled with a lot of low self esteem and anxiety. When she asks “Do the girls back home touch you like I do?” it’s basically saying “I don’t have the self esteem to feel like I have anything but sex. Please tell me that no one else can give you that, because if they can, why would you stay?”. The song is also filled with the fear that she thinks she’s way deeper in this than he is and wanting to take things to the next level but having anxiety about actually talking to him about it. And as someone who has been there, done that, that’s part of the reason I love this song so much. It’s complex and relatable and I love it.

Look What You Made Me Do: To be honest, I haven’t heard this once since the last post.

So It Goes: Yet another song people only look skin deep at. Like this song is filled with anxiety, insecurities, fear, issues with object permanence and more, and yet all people see is a sex song. I also fear daily that this is not going to make it on the tour set list because you all sleep on it.

Gorgeous: Out of all the songs that are misinterpreted on this album, this song has it the worst. And it has it the worst because people misinterpreting it takes away all the meaning from it. What makes this song sad isn’t that she cheats, because she doesn’t (”Unless you want to come along” is a thought), it’s the fact she realises she deserves better but DOESN’T go for it. Her doing better/having a ‘bad’ moral sense is the thing that she “can’t have” because she chose to stay faithful rather than do what’s right for herself.

Getaway Car: I feel like everything I need to say about this song has been really. Like all up it’s just a really great song that is close to my heart.

King Of My Heart: I’m not going to lie, I’ve said so much about the second half of the album in my past posts that really, there’s not much more to say. They’re all good to amazing songs. This is especially the case for this song.

Dancing With Our Hands Tied: So somehow I’ve never said it despite thinking it all the time (along with most the rest of the fandom tbh) but this song is such a lgbt+ song and I love it. I will say though, I hate how the fandom acts as if it’s the most underrated song on this album when you only need to go into the tags to see that all the posts are either love for it or “Why isn’t it more appreciated?” posts.

Dress: I still think this song is overrated by the fandom, but I must admit I have started listening to it more again recently. It’s arguable that this song is also super misrepresented seeing as people see it as the sex song when it’s so much more intimate than that.

This Is Why We Can’t Have Nice Things: I don’t really have anything more to say about this song either right now.

Call It What You Want: I love this song so much. I say that every time but it’s true. The amount of growth and self + recognising others’ love it has in it is just beautiful and I love it. As I have said in the past, it will probably always be one of Taylor’s best songs in my opinion.

New Years Day: This song is at it’s best late at night to be honest. The calmness of it all is just beautiful and while I don’t listen to it nearly as much as I should, the times I do are just beautiful and warm and it’s still the best way to end this album.

[thedeadflag]

As a cis woman unfamiliar with a lot of what trans women go through, your blog has been a huge help in educating myself! Thank you so much for your patient and thorough explanations of the issues you see come up (particularly in the 100 fandom). I feel like you're opening a conversation that could help reduce transmysoginy in fandom culture.

Me prior to reading this comment, deleting the seemingly ever-present transmisogyny in my inbox

Me after reading this comment

I appreciate the sentiment, I really do. And i’m glad I’ve managed to help you learn.

Honestly, I do try to educate, I try to spread the word, I try to show people how to make themselves safer for trans folks, particularly trans women. I like putting in this work, because I believe people can change for the better, and I want to be a part of that change. I want to help. I’m happy to be patient and make long, detailed posts on a variety of things if it could help someone come around.

I’d like to believe I can help make fandom less dangerous and harmful to trans women, less steeped in transmisogyny, but my reach is pretty limited. It took all of 2 or 3 months to dial the transmisogyny and trans fetishization in The 100′s fandom up from a 4 to an 11. I’ve been at this for pretty much 2 straight years now, trying to reel back that damage, but it’s still sitting at about a 10.5 

Fact is, if the fandom wanted to be a safe place for trans women, it knows what it’d need to do. If the people who caused this to happen, or at least the ones that now regret it, wanted to undo the damage they’ve done, and to send a message to include and support trans women and fight transmisogyny, they know what they’d need to do. It was pretty simple to ramp things up to an 11. 

It’d be just as simple to ramp things back down. They’d just need to use their platform with the same tenacity and relentlessness as they did when spreading and promoting trans fetishization and transmisogyny, and pushing their followers to rally around trans women.

But it doesn’t happen. It’s chalked up as “drama”, because they’re not actually affected by it, and/or they don’t want to rock the boat and alienate potential followers and friends, regardless of whether they recognize there’s a real significant issue at hand. Which is the exact same dynamic trans women see in offline spaces when calling out transmisogyny. No one wants to do anything about it because it could cause friction among their social network, so it’s trans women that get the boot, who get ignored, passively or actively pushed out of those spaces. A lot are willing to acknowledge that something’s wrong, that we’re being hurt, maybe even by them, but next to no one’s actually willing to put in the effort and take the risk of sacrificing part of their social network to help us.

As Lexa once said: “So blood must not have blood applies only when it’s my people that bleeds.”

The clexa fandom rose up together in a united front after Lexa’s death to protest homophobia, the bury your gays trope, lesbian and wlw media representation, etc., clamoring for better, for improvement, that harmful representation caused real material harm to the community, and that media representation needed to be taken seriously. Everyone was spreading suicide hotline numbers while bemoaning the media content and social issues that make such an action necessary.

And yet, when it’s trans women tossed onto the pyre and violently misrepresented, when it’s trans women being hurt, it’s okay. Blood must not have blood, we need to calm down and accept that people are just exercising their creative freedoms, and that since some people, nearly all who aren’t us, enjoy the content, it’s perfectly fine and acceptable, and that we’re horrible people for openly criticizing offenders and the fandom as a whole. That we need to be ignored, and we can be ignored, without moral issue so long as people say that they love and support us, regardless of their actions. 

It’s a mess. Fandom is a mess. I’ve had a lot of people come tell me, or tag my posts, saying that the things I write about transmisogyny and trans fetishization in fandom are ‘interesting’. Or that they think there might be a problem that should get looked into. Or that they hope my posts can bring a discussion to the table.

When the reality is, this discussion has been had. We know specifically which problems are prominent, and why they crop up, and what harm they cause. It’s why I’m educating, or trying to. 

I don’t really want a conversation at this point, at least not in the vein of the ones i’ve had in the past. I’ve had conversations with a lot of the bigger name fetishists in the fandom, writers and readers, and the results of those conversations always end up as something along the lines of: 

“Well, I respect that trans women feel this way, but I’m creatively entitled to write/read/promote what I want, and I’m not harming anyone. Don’t like, don’t read. I’ll tag so you can filter the works out, but the stories help people, and i like writing/reading/promoting them. I’m not going to stop. If you can tell me how to help in ways that don’t involve me stopping writing/reading/promoting g!p, I’ll absolutely listen, though.”

Which is not helpful, even if it’s technically a ‘conversation’. The only way these ‘conversations’ can end positively is if all sides recognize that trans women such as myself are coming in as educators, and everyone else is coming in as students, to learn. That’s it. 

And there’s generally been an immense unwillingness for non trans women to accept that basic premise. I’m trying to teach people how to be less oppressive, how to harm us less. Unless these conversations recognize the power dynamics involved, rather than treating everyone as if we’re on a level plane, then they’re not going to help or be constructive in any way. hell, they can make it worse, by leaving folks thinking that they’ve done their part in talking to me and others like me, so now that they’ve heard us out, they can go on their merry way without criticism.  

Which is why after two years, I’ve hardly made any traction. Almost no one is willing to admit they reproduce transmisogyny and have anything to learn about how fandom and media can be use to exclude, misrepresent, harm, and direct harm towards marginalized groups that they don’t personally belong to. And if they do recognize that, very few are actually willing to do anything about it or care to do anything about it.